#dysphoria is fucking flarring up

[weenhands]

i wanna die im sorry gerard i let you down but this gender stuff is kicking my ass

#dysphoria is fucking flarring up #idk why lately its so bad (LITERALLY identifies as genderFLUID...HERe comes the FLUID part of your gender) #i literally dont know anymore but fucking honestly i wanna cry and i think my brain is like.... ok so we are done mourning our past self? #ok nice! NOW lets deal with transgenderism :) #litwrally just want to cry infact i am crying yhis hurts im scarwd #like i just. idk i dont wanna describe it but rather talk about how much it hurts #i think bc i stopped repressing it or normalizing it #like me saying im being overdramatic or whatever #after i stopped doing that its knocking so loudly at my door #and i dont even want to tell anyone i feel somewhat ashamed about this too #so many fucking steps back man #i couldve fully understood and embraced myself #if anyone needs triggers for this stuff pls lmk somehow bc im gonna probably keep discussing this #instead of like. me committing suicide at least LOL #but yea Um wow i need to maybe like. think more deeper into thi #this** #i might change my pronouns again jesus fucking christ fjdjdjfjfjvjvgjf #im punching and eat ing dry wall #edit changed my pronouns :} *loud explosion*