#i think about ed’s gender all the time it means so much to me

[scarrletmoon]

this is going to keep bothering me unless i finally put it down but let’s really quickly talk about ed, gender and trans femme headcanons

just right off the bat, i’m not saying that you can never HC ed as trans femme, and if you say that’s what i’m demanding, please point to the exact paragraph where i said that

moving on

my reticence to jump into the babygirlification of ed teach in the first few months of the fandom comes from the fact that i’ve felt this undercurrent of discomfort around masculinity in fandom and online queer community.

i mean, i say undercurrent but any trans masc can tell you how much (online) queer spaces hate trans men, especially bc they think of them as gender traitors. people will proclaim how progressive they are, how they’re fighting for queer liberation and bodily autonomy, and then turn around and say the most vile shit about men that you’ve ever heard. people will often excuse it in a myriad of ways — “obviously I don’t mean all men, but you asking me to qualify that means you’re a misogynist” or “i’m allowed to say this bc men have hurt me” or “if trans men are men then why are they trying to escape their compliance in patriarchy. i’m actually affirming their gender by assuming they’re dangerous as soon as they come out”

all of these reasons are fucked in different ways but this ain’t about them. this is about ed

i bring up the adversity towards masculinity bc i thought it might be a possible explanation for what i was seeing; some people seemed to be treating ed like a closeted trans woman, especially based on his actions in s1 ep10. he’s acting more soft and “feminine” so maybe he’s a trans woman and just doesn’t get it! and this bothered me for a bunch of reasons

first, ofmd goes out of its way to depict many different kinds of masculinity, across race, gender identity, sexuality and even hobbies and interests. all of the men on the revenge aren’t the idealized version of what masculinity is supposed to be. and yet they’re all still men.

second, there’s nothing inherently wrong with being a man. the real problem is patriarchy, which even women (and which especially white women) uphold too. this demonization of masculinity makes it so much harder to talk about how patriarchy actually functions. women are not inherently pure, non-violent angels. men are not inherently evil and irredeemable

third, ed is not white. we should know by now that gender and gender presentation are not exact matches across all cultures

so i think part of the reason why people HC a brown indigenous man as trans femme is bc they see some feminine traits — long hair, emotional vulnerability, a penchant for finery, etc — and bc they’re uncomfortable thinking of ed as still a man, they can incorporate him into womanhood in a way that matches their worldview (namely, that women are harmless and victims to protect, and worthy of that protection in a way that men are not)

(btw the first time i tried to explain this on twitter i had to delete the whole thread bc people started calling me transphobic and let me tell you, white trans people telling me, a black trans person this? not a good time)

anyway, i don’t think trans femme headcanons of ed are bad. i think they’re pretty cool actually. but being a woman is more than your hobbies and the way you dress and your actions. the single requirement for being a woman is choosing to exist as one, in any capacity, whether you come out or not

another thing is that ed doesn’t have the same gender shift that jim does, at least not from my perspective. i think ed is pretty comfortable with being a man. he’s just a queer man who also likes soft things, and gets to be softer and more traditionally “feminine” around stede. so it feels very uncomfortable when white people in particular assign ed as female when he’s shown no indication of being so

it also bothers me bc i love seeing a man of colour get to explore that part of himself. it means a lot to me to see depictions of masculinity that aren’t white, that are about being emotional and loving and feminine as well as protective and masculine and strong. and when people say “ed’s a closet trans woman” it feels like “there is one way to be a man, and that’s not ed”. and as a person who spent their whole life feeling like their gender was decided for them by others, it hits home (in a bad way)

it took me a long time to be comfortable with calling ed babygirl and all that stuff; i know it’s mostly tongue in cheek but it sometimes wasn’t. i eventually decided that i wasn’t going to let others ruin my fun, even if it means that when i talk about babygirl ed, it’s different to what everyone else is doing

so i guess TL;DR: ed is a man, but he’s also an indigenous man, and trying to contort him to fit a white supremacist version of gender isn’t going to work

#scarrlet rambles #i think about ed’s gender all the time it means so much to me #but i need white people to like. stop and think more often

[theshippirate22]

I have a theory

listen up bitches (gender neutral) (affectionate) i’ve been cooking this for an incredibly long time and i’m very very excited to share it but it is gonna be long so i’m putting it under a cut

my theory is that there has been a new set of archetypes created by popular m/m media either in canon or coding and i would love if it was more widely recognized by a distinct name so here we go:

I present to you: The Mirrorball x Running Up That Hill Boyfriends™️ Theory

i need to preface this by saying that i am absolutely not an english major or expert but i have done so much analysis that i’m 98% positive i’m on to something here

so usually mlm ships- at least in my experience- get boiled down into typical Grumpy x Sunshine, Golden Retriever x Black Cat, or like. Babygirl x Badass. and i hate that because those are like really watered down hetero romance stereotypes and i think queer people deserve to get our own archetypes instead of trying to force queer characters into prepaid boxes but that’s a story for another day so:

basically, all content with widely accepted mlm ships (even if they are more in coding than in canon) has this pattern with the ship that fits into Mirrorball x Running Up That Hill

(name pending- open to suggestions)

Boyfriend No.1 of course is the epitome of Mirrorball by Taylor Swift (i know, i know. bear with me here). He’s constantly trying to prove himself and his worth and usually he’s driven to hide or overcome 1-3 specific and intense insecurities/character flaws. He often has innate loyalty to a system or person who has repeatedly abused/neglected/abandoned him and thinks that this treatment is a result of his own character rather than a reflection of the abuser. In relation to the plot and audience, this is the “more dangerous” of the two because he’s so desperate to hold onto the status quo that he’ll often act in a way that makes things more difficult for himself, often by leaving Boyfriend No. 2, sacrificing himself, or doing “the wrong thing.” He also commonly has an older male figure that is breathing down his neck constantly, haunting his perceived inadequacies, and fueling his self-loathing. He’s constantly mischaracterized because he’s either boiled down to “the silly one” or a visage of his trauma and the people that relate to love these characters are usually extremely sad people. Usually this character is also the “mean girl” of the couple.

Examples of the Mirrorball boyfriend: Dean Winchester, Aziraphale, Stede Bonnet, Lucius Spriggs, Sherlock Holmes, Eddie Munson, Mike Wheeler, Prince Rupert, etc.

Boyfriend No. 2 then, is the Running Up That Hill Boyfriend, based of course, on the song by the same name by the perfect Kate Bush. He’s the one that’s seen The Horrors™️ and gained a layer of cynicism that Mirrorball doesn’t have. He was once loyal to something that used/hurt him but he rejected it and used his newfound freedom to restructure his entire personality and reach his much higher potential. Usually, he has passed so far from having a few insecurities to perceiving himself as utterly worthless and unlovable but he’s so convinced that it doesn’t even haunt him, he just goes with it and usually comes off looking overly-confident or cocky. This is The Bitch (affectionate)™️. There’s probably a scene of him covered in blood. This is The Girls’ favorite blorbo and ultimate whump. He tends to be really good with kids and he’s the kind of character that would and often has to CLAW a life out for himself by his fingernails.

Examples of the Running Up That Hill Boyfriend: Castiel, Crowley, Ed Teach, Black Pete, John Watson, Steve Harrington, Will Byers, Prince Amir, etc.

unfortunately i haven’t seen a lot of popular queer stuff so if you can think of other mlm or mlm shaped characters that fit into these archetypes please please please tell me

i’m specifically curious about:

-Hannigram (Hannibal)

-Buddy (911) (@criminally-obsessed if you would mind weighing in but obviously no pressure)

-Lokius (Loki) (@henderdads same thing)

-Any of the marauders but specifically WolfStar

-Stucky (MCU)

-RWRB (i’m so sorry i don’t remember the guys’ names)

-Nick and Charlie (Heartstopper)

-What We Do In the Shadows has one I think?

-literally anyone else please and thank you 🙏🙏 love you all

if you want like explicit examples of each piece for a character lmk for sure because i could talk about this all day long

#shut up jay #mlm thoughts #mlm #mxruth theory #steddie #ineffable husbands #lupete #gentlebeard #destiel #johnlock #byler #hannigram #lokius #wolfstar #red white and royal blue #heartstopper #what we do in the shadows #911 #buddy #stucky

[adickaboutspoons]

When a Steard is not a Beard

I want to talk about the significance of Stede's beard in the opening dream sequence of s2e1, and how we know from Lucius in the first season that "not every beard is a beard". Of course SOME beards are just beards - most of the Revenge and QA crew sport face fuzz of some sort or another, and it's just How They Look. But, narratively speaking, when attention is called to facial hair in this show, it's all about deception and hiding one's true self.

We have Blackbeard, who has built his brand around his eponymous facial fur, but feels stifled by the way the success of said brand has left him bored out of his skull, and frustrated by the way his reputation has been co-opted and twisted into something inhuman. (And by poor Taika's accounts, the beard itself was literally stifling; unbearably hot to wear, and how he could hardly move the bottom half of his face lest the glue start peeling off). It's only when Ed shaves it off at the academy that he's able to start really approaching the question of what it means to be Just Ed. And, of course, we have the way he smeared kohl across his mouth and jaw in a frightful simulacrum of a beard as part of his Kraken transformation at the end of season 1.

We have Jim, who uses a fake beard to conceal their identity while on the run after having killed Alfeo de la Vaca. Only once that beard is discarded are they able to really think about who they are and how that doesn't fit in the narrow parameters of a gender binary. We see them go back into the beard when they re-commit themself to the vengeance quest, posing as a bearded priest in order to capture Geraldo, but, again divested of the beard, Jim is able to consider whether completing the vengeance quest and allowing their life to be consumed with a family that is dead and gone is something they want, or if they might be happier committing themself to a different path, and finding a family that will give them the love and support their own no longer can. And then, of course, the way Jim paints on a simulacrum beard when they are forced into a life of violence as part of Kraken!Ed’s crew.

We have Heartbroken Voyeur Stede’s comment about how Calico Jack had nice hair, but “his moustache is weird.” Shortly after, we learn that CJ has been a duplicitous, manipulative asshole the entire time, his only goal to lure Ed away from the Revenge before the British came to kill Stede.

So what does it say that Stede is dreaming about himself with a full beard? To have Dream!Ed specifically comment on it? Because they’re calling attention to it, so, hey, hi, how are you? You have my attention!

I think it’s not JUST that Stede is casting himself in the role of the dashing hero with all the trappings thereof, indulging in a fantasy about a joyous, romantic reunion with his beloved. Because this fantasy has some MUCH darker connotations than the sun-drenched beach would suggest. This Dashing Hero™ persona isn’t Stede’s idealized self. It’s the culmination of all his insecurities about not being the kind of person who is worthy of the attention and love of someone as impossibly cool as Blackbeard.

(Incidentally, I think it significant that Ed, in the dream, ALSO has his full beard. This more than anything is what clues me into the fact that Stede is still trying to measure up to the Legendary Pirate Blackbeard - not Just Ed with his soft, beautiful clean-shaven face, nor even a more realistic version with a beard that’s coming in quite nicely, but isn’t anywhere near the epic proportions that it once was, as we see with the scenes of real Kraken!Ed)

We learn later in the episode that Stede has been dragging his feet about setting out to reunite with Ed in spite of the all the money he and the crew have managed to scrape together working for Jackie, and the true reason behind his reticence is that he is still genuinely convinced that Ed is better off and happier without him. Even when reunited with Lucius in episode 2 and Lucius suggests that Ed’s time with Stede was “as good as it’s going to get for [Ed]”, Stede’s response is that he’s “not ready to believe that.” Stede really just is incapable of conceptualizing a reality in which Just Stede could ever be enough.

(And don’t get me started on Lucius’ beard! Lucius who was the emotional intelligence of the crew in the first season, and is now a guarded, brittle, traumatized shell of who he was. He’s 100% for sure not hiding behind a façade of butched-up toughness. Nope. Not. At. All.)

So in Stede's dreams, he’s the epitome of the kind of guy that WOULD be good enough. The kind of guy who has a beard and wears leather pants (hello queer urge to become the person that you sexually desire, how are you?). The kind of guy with neat, tidy, barely even wavy hair instead of perfectly coifed cherub curls. The kind of guy who, if he wears a fine fabric at all, it’s wrapped around his waist where it can be mostly concealed by a thick, macho belt, and trailing in front of his crotch like a fabric phallus (and, say, if Ed feels like touching it, maybe there’s something else in the vicinity that he might also be interested in touching?). The kind of guy who is tough and competent and can kill without remorse or pity.

#ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd s2e1 #ofmd s2e2 #ofmd #our flag means death #my modest contribution to fandom

[wellofdean]

OK, I was going to reblog this excellent post by @luckshiptoshore so go read it, because yes. Yes!! YES!!! But then when I got started my post got super long and I felt bad tacking it onto her post and decided to make my own in response to these tags:

#i am actually a bit obsessed by the whole hunting as queerness metaphor#it’s so clearly something everyone involved in the show is thinking about#supernatural

Gurl, me too! Like go back to the start! By the time Supernatural began, the backlash against the Joseph Campbell Monomyth-style mode of storytelling had already begun in the hallowed halls of USC film school, and yo: I was there at the time of Kripke's graduation, and my best friends from college are full scale big giant time filmmakers now, whose names I will not share on main because it's uncool, and I don't want that attention, but... yeah. I am referencing FIRST HAND SOURCES on this.

But, for a real source? The Oxford English Dictionary places the first use of the term "Queer Theory" in 1990, with Queer Studies as an option in the academy by 1992. I know the kids think it's a new-fangled thing, but Kripke graduated USC in 1996 (I graduated in 1995) and it was ALL THE RAGE by then. My friends read queer theory in their Critical Studies courses in the Film School, I read it in the College of Humanities getting my degree in Literature. By that time, you could not get through that school with any degree in any non-STEM subject without knowing about ye olde postmodern lenses, queer and feminist theory, and without knowing how to employ those lenses.

Queer refers to sexuality, yes, but the word's earliest use (again, according to the OED) is in the 1500's, meaning: strange, odd, peculiar, eccentric. Also: of questionable character; suspicious, dubious.

So, ok, in 2005, Enter Supernatural, episode 1:

Presented? Two brothers. One actively seeking credit in the straight world that is not available to him in the bosom of his family: Stanford, law school, hot co-ed girlfriend, the other bound to his fractured, wounded family by duty, yes, but also by love, living on the fringe, alone, fighting monsters, and chasing after his father's approval, and who has long since given up any dream of being 'normal'. Episode 1 presents Sam's call to adventure, which he refuses when it's just familial duty, honor and love calling him, but accepts when the show takes a very straightforward and very telling path by classically fridging his woman. Ok, now he's on board. Like John, whose motivation is another dead woman, his motivation is revenge. So far so straight!

Dean though: he's different. He is already on the adventure and he was not 'called' or given the option of accepting or refusing because he had no agency when his feet were set upon this road. He does not fit the straight world at all, because he is cobbled together out of love, duty, deep guilt, striving, desperation and fear. This is who he is now, in some elemental, incontrovertible way. It was not a choice for him, he was born to it. His mother is dead, and we later learn, she made the choices that brought them all to this fate. Dean remembers her idyllically, but he is not motivated by revenge, more than any other thing, he wants to be worthy. He wants his father's approval, his brother's love.

Enter Supernatural's main theme: fucked up relationships between men enmeshed in patriarchy, which will eventually expand to include fucking GOD HIMSELF.

And like, there are SO MANY CLEAR STEPS ALONG THE ROAD in season one, and I am not even talking about sexuality and gender here, but there is SO MUCH TO SAY about it in season 1. But I am not talking about that -- I am talking at a structural, narrative level, the whole thing is just fucking all the way queered, yo.

The big climax?

At the end of the season, Dean says: "I just want my family back together. You, me, Dad... it's all I have." He is Sam's mother, John's partner! His vulnerability and emotion is feminized and contrasted with Sam and John's more overtly driven by their more masculine/straight heroic revenge quest. John: "Sam and I can get pretty obsessed, but you always take care of this family." Only that's not John talking, it's Azazel, and Dean knows it is because his father would never forgive how soft he is, how he will always choose love and family over revenge. Then, in the end, the show makes a huge point of telegraphing that Sam is finally aligning with Dean by refusing to shoot Azazel because he's possessing John, and Sam just can't do that to Dean.

Sam and Dean are thus bound together and cemented into a marginalised path, living on the road, haunting liminal spaces and cheap motels, confronting the monstrous everyday. Sam is presented as the brains of the operation, he does research, logics his way through things (masculine) while Dean is the heart who acts impulsively and on instinct and intuition (feminine).

It later transpires that Sam has a piece of the monster inside himself, and Dean has to learn to love the monstrous, he has no choice, because Sam is his brother and then Cas... and, and, and!

Like... I could go on and on, citing ENDLESS EXAMPLES. This could be a literal book. Maybe one you need to read with a magnifying glass like my condensed edition of the OED. LIke, the queerness of Supernatural is DIZZYING and MYRIAD.

But basically? FROM THE START, hunting is a queered version of family, and within that, Dean is a queered version of a Campbellian hero. Hunting is a metaphor for otherness and liminality, and that's even before you say a WORD about sex. It starts in deviation from the norms of family, masculinity and expands from there on so many levels both in story and on a meta level. The story is flesh on queer fucking bones.

I'm so sorry, but anyone who thinks queerness was not BAKED INTO Supernatural and more specifically into Dean from DAY 1 has clearly never seen Dean's insane lip gloss in season 1, and vastly underestimates the cultural awareness of people who write shit in Hollywood, and also the other people who put pink lip gloss on pretty boys in Hollywood. Nothing that gets on your screen wasn't a fucking choice made and approved by a LONG LIST of people who know what they are about.

#supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #the queerness is baked in from the word go #like...OBVIOUSLY #and transparently

[short-black-diamond]

hi!! please could you do a scenario where the blue lock characters watch their s/o get hit on (incl kaiser and sae if possible!!) thank you 💙

yessss oh my got I've been waiting for such a request!!!

also if you want me to write with more characters, list them up, okay? I don't know who else you'd like to do, so I just wrote about Kaiser and Sae. Also please put in the gender as well, this one is with a gender-neutral reader.

Warnings: Ness gets roasted by you.

---

"You belong to me."

part two

Kaiser:

it happened in germany, where you and him were over at a friends house, where a party took place. Kaiser was having the time of his life, proudly showing you off, with his hand on your waist as you guys chatted away.

Some time later, you had to use the bathroom, and you excused yourself. After you were done and about to go back to your boyfriend, another guy cut you off on your way.

You looked at him with a smile. "Could you please step to the side?", you asked in a friendly tone, but the guy only smiled back. "Say...are you single? You're really cute.", he said softly.

You frowned. You were sure he was one of the guys who sat closest to Kaiser and you when Kaiser announced that you two were a happy couple.

"No, I am taken. Please let me go now.", you speak in a more firm voice, the guy however only puts on a sweet pout. "Not even a chance?"

"You couldn't even buy her a drink, let alone catch her attention,", Kaiser's voice says and you light up when you see Kaiser behind the boy.

The guy in front of you sighs before winking at you charmingly and turning around, bumping shoulders with Kaiser.

Kaiser glared at him. "Hurensohn.", the german growled and the guy only "tch"ed. Seems like the guy was a german as well...

You looked at Kaiser gratefully as he held your hands and kissed them. "He didn't touch you, did he?", Kaiser mumbled as he looked at you through a sad frown. He was disappointed in himself.

angry at himself for not sensing something sooner and thus not being able to having saved you sooner.

But, it all vanishes when you giggle. "No, he only leaned against the wall weirdly. And what does "Hurensohn" mean?"

Kaiser's face turned blank for a moment before he smiled at you. "It means nothing, really. It's like...a uh...yes, a cheer up thing! Like, he failed to court you, and germans say "Hurensohn" to each other to cheer each other up!"

...

Ness messed up a goal in practise and you and Kaiser where there too. You were the only Non-German in practise, and when you saw Ness shoot the metal instead of the net, you 'cheered him up.'

"Hurensohn!", you yelled.

Ness looked at you with a disturbed face, feeling utterly insulted. Kaiser quickly turned around and tried not to laugh out loud. Ness looked at Kaiser then in suspicion.

The other players only looked at you with a frown.

You were confused.

You actually called Ness son of a bitch. but nobody told you after Kaiser explained what happened.

Now, Ness became a "Hurensohn".

Sae:

You and Sae were actually just taking a walk after he used you as a therapist again, and you did your best to comfort him. He told you about what happened in spain, how he felt bad for being so mean and rude to his younger brother and how he wished to play with Rin again.

Now, you two were holding hands. You two came to a small resting place. It was selling donuts. Sae looked at you with a small smile.

"Wait here.", he instructed you before jogging into the entrance. You looked around and enjoyed the fresh air.

Suddenly, a quiet voice took your attention. You turned to the side to a shy looking boy. "Uh...hi. I-I think you're very pretty...and um..", the guy started but you shook your head.

"I'm taken sir.", you said. But the guy didn't want to give up yet. "I-I know that I might not look like much, b-but I promise I'll be a great boyfriend and-"

"are you a geat footballer who plays soccer and represents a country?", Sae's gruff voice asked and thy guy flinched. He wuickly turned around and locked eyes with Sae's angry turpuoise ones.

"Fuck off.", cue the stranger quickly excusing himself with a red face.

Sae glared at the guy until he was gone, and then he looked at you with a sad face. "I'm sorry, it was stupid of me to tell you to wait outside...", he apologized as he looked at your pretty face.

You shook your head again. "No, don't be, Sae. Nobody could've predicted this, and no harm done, right?", you asked as you hugged his arm. He smiled at you.

"Yeah. no harm done."

---

Damn this turned super fluffy in my opinion. also I feel sorry for ness but I just had it in mind and couldn't ignore it lol.

If you didn't like this request, please tell me and I'll try to write it better!

Read you in the next post!

#itoshi sae x reader #sae itoshi x reader #itoshi sae #sae itoshi #sae x reader #blue lock fic #blue lock x reader #blue lock #bllk #bllk x reader #bllk x you #kaiser fluff #michael kaiser x you #blue lock kaiser #bllk kaiser #kaiser x reader #michael kaiser #bluelock #von kaiser

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Wibta if I told my friend, upfront, I do not want his toxic partners in my campaign party without specifying why?

Everyone in this is 22+

So I (22NB) have been working on a campaign for at least 3 years now. I used dnd as a base and built off it to make my own world, races, mechanics, massive maps, religions, languages etc. This will be a massive campaign with highlights on religion and dealing with gods as a mortal etc and I've put so many hours into it it isn't even funny. I mean shit, I picked music for different areas depending on if it's day or night.

I made a discord server to house most of the basic info my players would need from table rules to the races and beyond. I mainly had the idea that the party would consist of my dmnpc guide (he doesn't fight or break the game, his only action during fighting is the help action and guide the party. Im not an asshole dm who makes my guide the protagonist. If its important, death doesn't really exist in my campaign due to demi-god race stuff, the party just gets sent back to its last save point with my grumpy man guide saying I told you so.), my partner's character (24f)(she dosent get preferential treatment. We've been together for 8 yrs) and my best bud's character (22tm. Been friends for 8 yrs). I never said I specifically only wanted my partner and friend to be party members but it was implied due to the fact I never invited my friends partners to the discord. I just don't really have many friends and this is the first time I've ever dm-ed period, let alone dming my own homebrew. We're all pretty novice newbie players and I think it'll be fun for us to stumble through the game together in a much less complicated form of DND without seasoned players "um actually-"ing us the whole time.

My partner is excited to try and my friend is ecstatic and about 2 years into development (last November) he asked if I could let his partners join the campaign. There're a few issues with this beyond me not really knowing them and not wanting to run a large party (it's hard for seasoned dms to run a 4+ party, let alone I, a fresh infant of a dm). My friend has 3 partners of his (he has 4 total) he wants to introduce to my campaign, this includes (fake names): Mel(24nb), Sandy (mid 20s f) and Rue (23 tw). I have issues with each individual present and it all stems from me sitting in on a different campaign for a single session. See, my friend has his own campaign (much smaller, follows one story in one town on an island instead of my entire continent) and he tried to run it by those three partners (and 2 friends. Names and genders unnecessary, they were our age) while I quietly sat in the session (it was over a discord call, were all in differnet states except for me and my partner) and watched it run just to see how my friend dmed and how the groups chemistry was. They had a 3 hour session.

It was the most socially awkward, intense and passive aggressive 3 hours of my life. Mel barely paid attention and as a result, had to have things explained to them when they weren't listening. They would then would talk over the person explaining things, pick apart their language and get irritated to the point of telling them (mostly rue) to shut up. Mel was quite litterally looking for a fight constantly. Sandy was relatively quiet but also not paying attention and talking over other players actions. She also would come up with random "icks " and one minute was telling everyone to keep all sexual jokes and comments to themselves because it made her uncomfortable then the next said her character was literally blowing a guy in the back of tavern.(btw this is not a fetish campaign or anything, it was out of left field for everyone and my friend shut it down because of that) Rue was the "uhm actually" type who pointed out inaccuracies, broken rules and lack of realism (it's a pirate fantasy magic campaign. There isn't much to focus on realism). Rue was clearly the most seasoned player but the nicest all things considered. She was mostly just condescending and treated my friend like he was stupid for not having every single detail mapped out. The party also had 2 of his friends but they were just as quiet as me and also either not paying attention or listening to the shit show. The session litterally ended with Sandy and Mel having the tiniest argument, mel pulling a crying running away anime protagonist "I'm sorry for being just a fucking terrible person! Ill leave so you all can have fun!!" Then hanging up all dramatically. Safe to say, their party was literally every red flag I was warned about by dm guide content.

My friend then came to me and said they broke up with Sandy that night but were still friends and I was still in shock from the sheer toxicity. Did I mention I had only met Sandy and the two other friends that night? And had only spoken over the phone to Mel once in a group call and met rue in person 2 times? Safe to say, I do not want litterally any of his partners in my party for various reasons and I feel as if just one of them at my table would make my patience end on sight. I consider myself to be very flexible and want to do my very best to be a fair but strong dm who doesn't get their story absolutely trampled by players intentionally trying to ruin my story and watch me scramble (mel and sandy openly did that). These players would disrespect my table rules for fun. Even my friend said they never respect him and his story as a DM and he won't run a game with them again and he thinks they'll respect my rule? As a baby dm? Nah fam.

He wants to bring rue and Mel into my campaign and I haven't answered him yet. I've mostly dodged the question with "I'm not sure how big of a party I feel comfortable dming for, I'll know later down the line." And he's asked again, still curious. I don't wanna judge my friends relationships because he and Mel have been together for 5 years and rue has been with him for 2 (they were together previously before rue came out and rue tried to control and physically abuse him. Thats another reason I don't want her in my campaign. Fuck abusers) but the toxicity they would bring would probably poison me. If I bring these things up, idk how my friend would react and he can be a bit... Extreme when he gets defensive. Cutting people off permanently at a moments notice then coming back crying or confused. He has BPD which explains it but I don't obviously wanna say " your partners are low-key toxic and abit abusive and I don't want them at my table or in my life for the most part and although I love you bro(/platonic) I do not want living blowfish at my table that you might not even speak to tomorrow.".

Obviously I wouldn't word it like that but mainly I just plan on saying "Ive never dmed before and I'm nervous about the functionality of my campaign so I want to keep my party nice, small and intimate and only between you, me and my partner for now. Maybe we can incorporate them later." Without mentioning all the... Other stuff and side stepping if he's like "but what if just mel/rue?". Me, my partner and him have been friends awhile so it's not like he'll feel like he's third wheeling or anything and I get he wants his partners to take in his interest, I just do not want them at my table and I wanna know if I'm a dick if I dont specify why and avoid the question. I dont wanna rock the boat and hurt my friends feelings but I'm not gonna ruin the first full run of my pet project so a passive aggressive asshole and a know it all almost abuser can participate. He deserves to know why his partners can't join and I'm not technically lieing, even if they were cool, I don't know if I'd want them there. But they definitely aren't cool and that just seals the coffin for me.

(obviously I'm wording this in a comedic way but everything here actually happened and I mostly just wanna focus on supporting my friend despite his choices. I do not have to like his partners to tolerate them but it's my table and my years of work, if i dont want them there, they dont get to be there. I'm just wondering if I'm a dick for kinda lieing kinda not if I don't give the actual reasons for why I don't want them at my table and never plan on allowing them there. I would happily accommodate 1 or 2 more people at my table in this case if they were close to me like my sister or older brother but I dont know his partners well at all and even though they are passive to me, I dont feel safe around people like that. Wibta?)

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[beanghostprincess]

Sanji has helped me in so many ways. I will forever be grateful for the creation of this character. He quite literally means the world to me right now.

(TW: ED/Depression/Suicide attempt mention)

I've always struggled with food. Well, not always. But at the end of middle school (more or less. Give or take. Age 12/13) I became obsessed with what I ate. I still don't know exactly how it started, but I think it has always been a mix of my need to control my life when it's crumbling down and the necessity to look skinny (both things are my mother's fault, mostly. And also lots of things going on at the moment). So I started skipping meals constantly and throwing away food and throwing up. Not gonna get into details, but it ruined my life without anybody knowing until a huge depressive episode came and then I tried to off myself, yadda yadda yadda. Then I just stopped eating food and my meals every day were basically a monster and gum and maybe a piece of fruit. I couldn't even drink milk without crying. Then it got a bit better. Then a bit worse. It wasn't very consistent. And then I started doing exercise but that only made me even more obsessed with calorie intake and healthy food and I still can't drink milk or bread without at least feeling awful about it.

And then I watched One Piece.

I know it sounds extremely silly and dumb, but it has helped me in so many ways. I'm not gonna get into all the things it has done for me, because then I'd have to talk about Robin, Nami, Luffy, Pudding and Buggy which are, like, the characters that have helped me the most next to Sanji, and I would not finish this post.

But Sanji is just so, so important to me.

He speaks about food with such passion. His whole thing about not wasting food literally comes from an experience of starvation and because of the sacrifice his father made for him. He keeps saying he refuses to let people go hungry, no matter what. That we all deserve to eat. He relates food to love and cooking is his whole life. It kind of started as a joke when my brother said "nooo, now you can't waste food because Sanji would be sad" and I- That day I literally ate wayyy more than usual with that thought in mind. And I didn't feel bad afterward for once. And he's just- He just makes me feel so comfortable around food. Which is the normal amount of comfort somebody should have and sometimes it's not even that, but it helps. It helps so much.

Then his whole thing with Germa and the Vinsmokes. It killed me. My relationship with my mother is, uh, you can call it complicated but I fucking hate her so. Yeah. And Sanji's story about rejecting his blood relatives and finding better people who will love him hit so close to home. Him being different. Weak. More emotional. A good person. Sanji refusing to use the name Vinsmoke. It's my whole life. Sanji self-sabotaging himself all the time and constantly sacrificing himself, too? I just can't do it, man, he means the world to me. And then Wano happens and he turns out to have the same body as his siblings but he's still himself. He's still Sanji no matter how much in common he has with the Vinsmokes. And as somebody who's constantly dealing with people telling them that they look like their mom? I fucking love it. I know I look like her and I even act like her sometimes but that doesn't mean I am her. And it doesn't mean she deserves to be part of my family, because she isn't and I can't wait to get rid of her in my life.

It's not only food and family, though. Sanji has helped me accept myself in so many ways too. In the way I perceive others and in the way I act. He has helped me eat. He has helped me realize you don't have to consider your blood relatives family if you don't love them. He has helped me see that my kindness is a strength and not a weak spot.

Not to mention that his whole thing with gender and sexuality, how the fandom portrays him, and how I personally write him has been of so much help in understanding myself. I recently discovered I was a lesbian, and also being genderfluid I just- I just love Sanji so much I be projecting my gender issues and internalized stuff with comphet on him. And let me tell you, it helps.

This whole thing is just something short and sweet I wanted to say because media affects people. In the best of ways. One Piece in general has saved my life in many ways, but Sanji in particular is still helping me every day.

#i love you sanji i love you i love you #i started crying while i wrote this lmfao pathetic behavior sorry sorry i love my boy too much #but one piece is literally my favorite thing i swear i haven't been happier in years #and i still struggle a lot with everything but it's a lot of help #one piece #black leg sanji

[mydearzero]

hiya! i was the anon that requested the chubby reader, and since you said that you're a chubby person yourself, i feel more ✨ comfortable ✨ with requesting this stuff here rather than any other account :>

idk if you would be okay with taking an another request from me, but this time could i request (again) gender neutral chubby reader, but when the reader sits on eddie's lap (for example while he waits for the rest of hellfire club to show up), and mike makes an unnecessary comment in lines of 'aren't they going to crush you?', and eddie defends the reader? this would be mostly fluff and angst if you're okay with that :D

I'm so glad you feel comfy requesting from me! 🥰 Thanks for another request!! it's a bit short, but I hope you like it :)

You're Out | E.M. x Chubby!GN!Reader

Summary: Mike makes an unwanted comment about readers weight. Eddie quickly steps in.

Angst + fluff

No warnings, just a comment about reader's weight being made.

874 words

MASTERLIST

You were comfortable in your relationship with Eddie. He loved you and all your flaws, no matter what they might be. People questioned you both on your relationship. Wasn't Eddie a freak? Didn't you have a bit much meat on your bones for a skinny guy like him? Why were you even together? You loved Eddie, Eddie loved you and that was that. 

You accompanied him often to Hellfire, even when you didn't participate. You didn't always stay for the entire thing, having a life of your own to live. But you did often help Eddie set up and make the room dark to set the mood. 

Which was what you were currently doing. You strained as you pushed the curtains against the windows and taped them down to let the least amount of light possible pass through. 

Eddie sat down after he finished placing the last figurines, admiring his work. He clapped and rubbed his hands together. "You're the best, babe. Everything's ready, right on time. The boys should be coming any minute." He smacked his lap a couple times to signal for you to take a seat. 

You draped your legs over his sideways and sat with him for a moment taking in the insane campaign laid out in front of you. "You've outdone yourself with this one, Eds." 

"I know, isn't it amazing? I can't wait to see their reactions." Eddie's eyes lit up with a childlike glimmer. You heard the excited chatter of the rest of Hellfire come down the hallway. You were about to get up, but Eddie held you down by the waist. "You're staying for the introduction, right?" 

Eddie had worked so hard on this campaign for weeks. He at least wanted you to see a bit of it in action. You'd helped him work out the details, after all. 

"Of course, I'm staying. Wouldn't miss it for the world" you pushed your forehead against his and quickly pecked him on his nose. You made yourself comfortable on his lap, waiting for the boys to fill the seats around the table. 

They fawned over Eddie's new figurines, excited hollers erupting through the room over the new campaign. Dustin noticed you and waved. "You're staying?" He asked with a grin. "Yeah, not the entire evening, though. Have some things I need to do before next week." 

You heard a laughing scoff coming from Mike. "I mean, not like Eddie's legs would survive if you did stay." You knew by Mike's tone it was meant as a joke, but you could feel your heart sink to your stomach. You tried to laugh it off, but the tears had already reached your cheeks. 

"You're fucking pathetic, Wheeler. You're out." Eddie spat. His grip on your waist tightened as you tried to get up. "Stop, Eddie. I'll just go." 

"No, you're staying. Wheeler's leaving. Aren't you, Michael? Why're you still standing there? I'm pretty sure I just told you you were out." At first, some of the boys laughed, but Eddie was dead serious. 

"You're kidding, right? It was just a joke." Mike looked at Eddie with a perplexed expression. Dustin gave a disapproving glare. "I think he's being serious, Mike." 

"You too? What'd I do? It was just a fucking joke, jeez." Mike raised his hands in surrender like he was being attacked. 

"What'd you do? What'd you do? You see this?" Eddie pointed at your face. "Tears. Thanks to your stupid 'joke', Wheeler. I understand you're an insecure little piss boy, but keep your ridiculous jokes to yourself next time, or there won't fucking be a next time. Understood?" 

Mike gaped at his club leader. 

"Did I make myself fucking clear, Mike?" 

"Y-yes. I'm sorry. It won't happen again." Mike sputtered as he took a seat. 

"No, you don't apologise to me. And sit over there. I don't want to fucking see your face right now." Eddie waved to the seat furthest away from the head of the table. 

Mike turned to your tear-stained face. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you." It didn't sound the most genuine, you knew he was just scared of Eddie's wrath. 

"It's okay." You muttered and turned to look at Eddie, who was obviously still fuming. "It's not fucking okay, Wheeler. If I ever hear you making comments like that again, about anyone, you're dead." 

Mike nodded and adorned the seat far, far away from your boyfriend. 

"Calm down, baby. I'm okay." You whispered as you stroked the hair at the back of his neck. He put his hand on the back of your head and pulled you down into a quick kiss. "You're gorgeous, you know that, right?" He pleaded. "Yeah, Eds. I know. I love you." You smiled. "I love you too, babe. So much." How did you deserve someone like him? Willing to threaten his friends over a stupid joke that just made you a little insecure? 

"Now, enough pre-game drama. Time for the real deal." You sat in the chair next to Eddie's as he threw his whole body into the storytelling of the new campaign. He might call you gorgeous, but he was a beauty of his own. Passionate in life, vigorous in love, devoted to you. 

#eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x gender neutral reader #eddie munson x gn!reader #eddie munson x chubby reader #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x y/n #stranger things x reader #stranger things #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #mike wheeler is a dumbass

[unknown-drug]

A GUIDE TO SURVIVE

All the things I wish someone would I told me before descending in this Hellhole.

🦋 ️ If you were thinking about diving into the EDs World for the first time, go back and think again (this is not worth it, I swear to every God in this universe. Just run as far as you can from it) But if sadly you are, you have to be completely educated.. Do some research about everything it consists of. Literally get as much information as you can (pros and cons, nutrition, exercises, side effects, long/short terms, overuses of anything, etc). There is so much more than diet and food involved, so just don’t be stupid about it.

🦋 ️EDs DON’T HAVE NUMBERS. Someone who is 200+ pounds is as valid as someone who is 100 and under. Stop bullying people because they are heavier or lighter than you are. Society fucks us enough so no need to add more hate. We are all in the same shit anyways… No one has the same body as you. Your number compared to others might not look the same. So yes, your thinspo is all cute but you have to consider all the criterias. Genetics, overall stats, gender.. Weight is just a number among many other things.

🦋 Weighing yourself every single day is NOT the most effective or accurate way to see/track results. The scale can shift up to 5 lbs a day (minus or plus, I know this is insane). Some specialists recommend doing it 1-3 times a week, always on the same day, so that you can see a more accurate graph of the fluctuation. (Keep in mind that you have to account for any hormonal changes/cycles when it comes to your result, I suggest comparing each week of your cycle with one another.)

🦋 You should consider using other methods to track your progress other than weighing yourself like a tape measurement can be really effective for body dysmorphia and if you have access to a gym ask them to check your body fat percentage. You would be surprised to see just how much it can help. Because at some point, the balance between muscle and fat is so small that physical change won’t be as noticeable. But seeing actual results from other means can really boost your mental state.

🦋 Those who will notice “the problem" won't be the ones you want. And those who are really there for you are not always the one you thought would be.. But do not throw away the help if you need it.

🦋 Do not beat yourself too hard if you slip up. It might get you to binge 10x harder, too. Nobody is perfect. We all binge once in a while. The weight did not appear out of thin air. It is a work in progress..

🦋🦋🦋

I know there is this big debate about the famous “body reset” metabolism day. Some say it helps others would disagree. It's the same thing when I come to fasts and detox/cleanse. At this point, you can follow whoever you wish. All of these help to some degree but aren't necessarily what your body needs. You need to have a good understanding of your system before committing to anything. To each their own.. All studies point to a “sort of reset” but there is not a universal way of doing it. So yes, here are your most common options, but this would depend on too many specifics to have a straight answer. There is no on/off switch when it comes to your body, yes it can feel like it “slowed down” but it is just because your body takes more time to use whatever it has to formulate energy. It takes your organism unequal time to synthesize different food - fat compared to carbs or even muscular tissues. This is why it is not just about the starvation aspect of your ED. It is also important to look at what you're feeding yourself with. Not all diets work the same and provide the same amount of energy. Choose your own path, but just be aware of all the knowledge you can put your hands on.

🦋🦋🦋

✨️✨️✨️ There is no magical pill, no tea bullshit and no fucking food miracle to lose weight. Yes there are some meds that can help (laxative, diuretic and appetite suppressant) but it is mostly out of side effect. Ultimately, your body will get used to them so they will feel like they aren't working anymore and you will feel the need to take more. Do not take more than the recommended amount. Be extremely careful if you are using them and please if you see anything out of the ordinary talk to professionals. Medications without the proper follow up can be horribly harmful in the long run. ✨️✨️✨️

🦋 TAKE YOUR FUCKING VITAMINS. I can't stress that enough but you need them just to make sure your body won’t rupture. It can prevent so many side effects to EDs and even trips to the hospital. Look for multivitamin, biotine, B-complex, folic acid (ladies), iron, potassium and magnesium… See to have some blood work done every year just to see where/or if you are lacking anything crucial.

🦋 DRINK YOUR GODDAMN WATER , BITCH. Your body will give up faster if you don't drink enough water compared to food. If you are fasting or anything, this shit is MANDATORY. And no, coffee, coke zero and teas should not count in your water intakes (sorry). It is so important for weight loss, plateaus and in general. The general rule is about 2L a day but you will need more depending on your lifestyle. There is many any calculators online or you can just go with the basic **1500mL - 20(weight in kg-20)= x**. It is the average amount in mL you should aim for.

🦋 Doing the same exercises over and over again will not help you lose weight. In fact, it is quite the contrary. You will have to switch it up, do cardio (even if it sucks), and try weight lifting (nooo it is not gonna make you look bulky.. Lean muscle burns more calories even though it weighs more.), find a sport that you like, yoga and pilates count, and even dancing is a good way to lose weight. You don’t have to spend endless hours in the gym (if you want to, go for it), 4 exercises is a good workout, and 30 mins a day every day is the bare minimum. Walking is quite underestimated but is actually pretty effective. Have fun with it cause it will be easier to stick to it and not dread it.

🦋 Sleep is MANDATORY. Don't think that staying awake all night doing exercises is helping you. In fact, your metabolism will go down 10 to 20 % if you sleep less than 6 hours a night. Get the rest you need.

🦋Food is not the enemy. When it becomes your aly it’s going to be a blessing. At the end of the day, you need the nutrients, So stop working against it and make it a tool for you to reach all your goals. It can get you the body that you want without too much work tbh.

🦋 ️ You guys have to stop with the famous “breakfast is the most important meal of the day”. If you were to look deeper into things you would know that the word originates from “breaking a fast” because it is the first meal after a long period of fast (when you sleep) depending on how long and everything but technically it still applies. So yes, it does help to kick start your metabolism, but there are many other ways to do so. Do what works for your lifestyle. Intuitive eating can really help with the disorder.

🦋Not all diets are going to work for you. Don't get discouraged. Try a few and see what works. Keep in mind to incorporate a little bit of every food group (if possible) to make sure you won't lack any crucial nutrients. Again, do your research.

🦋When reaching your GW or UGW, you may still feel unhappy. Yes, it feels like if you were skinnier, the world would turn around and become a wonderful place to be, but it’s not necessarily the case. It is not a magical way to solve all your problems, so be aware of possible disappointments.

🦋Keep yourself accountable. Stop blaming others or your life for things you have done. At the end of the day, you are the one doing everything. Excuses are not gonna help you achieve anything.

🦋The saddest part about this is that the sense of control is only temporary... If you have any other mental illnesses, it can mess you up so bad.. Mixing everything can be a lot at times, and I know how overwhelming it is to do all that by yourself. But, one way or another, you will have to go up against your demon and fight them or die trying.. Literally.

🦋This is not all rainbows and unicorn illnesses. It is hard to live through and even harder to witness it on someone else. You will cry, you will scream, and you will feel depressed and hopeless at times. Try to get someone you can talk to or vent to. This is why the online community is a huge part of EDs. Don't keep it all inside. It will break you.

🦋If you ever relapse after more than a year of recovery, you have to keep in mind that your body has changed. Especially if it went through puberty or if it is somewhere in your adulthood. If you plan on using the same old tricks you did as a teenager, I am sorry to announce to you that it might not work. Your relapse is like a whole new ED. You have to relearn everything about your body. It has adjusted to your harsh treatment and will definitely not cooperate the way it did before.

🦋If you are not ready mentally for recovery, it will NEVER happen. It cannot be forced. Recovery is the hardest part of the illness, but it is doable. And it takes time. It is not something that can be done overnight. Be patient, and at the end of the day, love yourself. But keep in mind that even fully recovered, the numbers won't magically stop in your mind. It will stay there as an afterthought. Some can live with it, and some can’t. If you need help, go get some.

🦋Calorie Counting🦋

So this is the most controversial topic of all but fuck it. This is my blog anyway I do what I want. Do with this information as you please. I am no doctor, just a bitch with a pharmacy and nutrition background.

🦋If you are to calculate calories, there are two crucial details you have to account for; your BMR (basal metabolic rate) and macronutriments.

🦋For macros, learn what they are and how to use them. It’s not just a question of fat, carbs, and protein. Look into understanding food labels and portion size and the percentages it represents in your daily food.. Especially when it comes to dry and wet food (ex: food labels on pasta and rice are for quantity when it is dry). It can really make a difference at the end of the day to have a good ratio of each group.

Most diets given by your trainers or dieticians are based on your BMR. Depending on how they calculated it, your exercise is already accounted for. So, in that case, you can not add your “active calories burned” from your smartwatch or whatever in your own calculations, thinking you can eat more or lose more. If you do so it’s going to nullify your progress for the day.

First, calculate your BMR (and no I’m not going to get involved in the gender debate, so use what you want).

Men= 66 + (6.23 x weight lbs) + (12.7 x height inch) - (6.8 x age in years)

Women= 655 + (4.35 x weight lbs) + (4.7 x height inch) - (4.7 x age in years)

Then multiplyz it by your activity level, and you will get your calories to maintain your actual weight. (1.2 = nothing, 1.375 = lightly, 1.55 = moderate). **I recommend just sticking with the lowest activity level possible since you want to know the minimum deficit of calories you can consume. So either do the 1.2 or not.

Now look into your goal. How much weight do you want to lose and by when ? The rough estimate is that 1 lbs = 3500 cals.

Let’s say you want to lose 10 lbs in 6 weeks. You will need to burn about 35,000 cal total in 6 weeks = 5,834 cal / week = 834 cal / day. (This is your deficit). Take your BMR again and subtract the last number to see how much your allowance is (ex: a BMR of 1800 means that your diet would be 1800 - 834 = 966 cal a day) It’s only a rough estimate. Because your BMR changes from day to day depending on the amount of stuff you do. If your deficit ends up negative, you need to revise your goal because on paper, it is unachievable and highly dangerous.

✨️✨️ Like I said , everything is just an estimate. Water weight and hormonal cycle are not included in this little math. ✨️✨️

🦋Purging🦋

You have to understand a few things before even thinking about doing it

🦋The biggest thing about purging is the long-lasting consequences. The acid in your stomach is extremely harmful. Think about it. It literally dissolves organic stuff to virtually nothing. There are a lot of medical problems that are linked to purging.

🦋The calorie absorption starts as soon as you begin chewing your food. There is acid that is released through your spit (yes, even if it is less acidic than your stomach, it is still there). So the famous method “chew and spit” is not the best because it is still harmful to your mouth health.

🦋 Purging is not a miracle erase switch. There is no Uno Reverse here. Even if you were to purge the entirety of your stomach, and that only a mere second after finishing eating, your body has already absorbed a portion of the calories ! A general rule is that about 1/3 to 2/3 of the calories will be left behind.

🦋 Now, even after all that you do purge, DO NOT BRUSH YOUR TEETH RIGHT AFTER. I swear to God that this is the worst thing you could do. 🦋

🦋If you were to ask the dentist when is the best time to brush your teeth in the morning, they would all agree that you can do it right after you wake up or 30-60 minutes after consuming food because of the acid mentioned earlier. Imagine how bad it would be after vomiting. So after a purge, you should try to swish some bicarbonate and water to bring the pH down and swallow half a glass to ease up your mouth, esophagus, and stomach. (I do 1 tbsp for 1 cup of water).

🦋Also, DO NOT PURGE if you don't drink enough liquid in your stomach. It is easier to do it when you do not only have solid shit in and less gross. Also it helps to reduce the acidity when it comes out.

🦋 Unfortunately, not all people have a gag reflex. Some studies show that nearly ⅓ of the population claim to feel it. Furthermore, it is shown that people who use any tobacco substance or other smoking substitute may be more prone to experience the lack of it. But it might also be that your body got used to your “mia” methods, thus being more resistant to where and how you are doing it. In that case, specialists point to other factors that can trigger it. So people will have a reaction caused by smell, others would find it with different stimulus points such as the roof of the mouth, back of the throat, tongue and near the tonsils. Moreover it can help to change the “tool” you are using (like going with something with a different texture like a cotton swab or the dental wood stick since it might help to trigger the reaction).

With that being said, if there is one thing you should remember about this whole thing is to be careful and aware.

Stay safe lovies. 🦋

#tips #tricks #tw ana #tw ed #🕯️as a 🪶 #⭐️ving #⭐️ve #ana and mia #vent #ed shit #ed not ed sheeran #ana trigger #@n0r3xia #i wanna be weightless #anamia #mia #mi@ #tw mia #tw ana diary

[rynwritesstuff]

My Kind of Woman

Eddie Munson x PlusSize!Fem!Reader

Warnings: Insecurity about weight, reassurance, NSFW, face-riding, oral (reader receiving), Eddie is a thigh guy (change my mind), dirty talk, spanking if you squint, hair pulling, briefly degrading Eddie because he asks you to, Eddie cums in his jeans, praise

After you express anxiety about letting Eddie eat you out, he shows you just how much you and your body turn him on. - Oneshot

(A/N: This is a very personal topic for me as a plus size woman. I'm planning on doing lots more of Eddie and his plus size lady (and some non-smutty Eddie/plus-size gender neutral reader) in the future, but we've all gotta start somewhere! Feedback is appreciated. I hope you guys enjoy this, I tried very hard to make it good for you all <3)

"No," you say. "Absolutely not, Munson."

Your boyfriend is currently following you around his trailer. Wayne isn't home, and you're trying to tidy it up a bit. Eddie's a messy guy. He doesn't mean to be, but he is, and you want to be helpful.

"Why!?" he whines, putting his hands on your hips. Jesus, he's needy today. Well . . . He's needy every day. But he's so close to you, and you can feel his erection through his jeans, and it's honestly making you a bit aroused yourself.

"Because for one, I haven't showered since last night--"

"Don't care--"

"And two, I haven't shaved--"

"Sweetheart," Eddie says firmly. "Look at me."

You turn around with a sigh so that you can look into those pretty brown eyes of his.

"I literally don't care about any of that. I wanna taste you."

"Eddie--"

"You always feel so good when I'm inside of you, and I just wanna--"

"Eddieeee--"

"--You know? Like, the last time we fucked, you were soaked and all I could think about was how fucking good you must taste--"

"Edward!"

He stops. You've got a small, pretty smile on your face. He kisses you, unable to stop himself, and you hum.

"I don't look . . . Good from that angle. You know?" you say. And just like that, his heart breaks. He knows you're a bit bigger than most of the people at school, but he thinks you're so fucking perfect. You're like a goddess, and he would gladly worship you day in and day out.

"Babe . . . " he says softly, sadly as he takes your hands. "I want you so bad. And not just because of how fucking pretty you are, but because you're smart, and funny, and kind, and super fucking cool. This? This amazing body that's all for me? That's just a bonus."

You clench your jaw, looking down. He puts his hand under your chin and tilts your head up so you're looking at him again.

"There's no point in running from it. You're beautiful and perfect, and I'd be in love with you no matter what the fuck you looked like. Got it?"

You nod, not in the mood to argue.

Eddie kisses your forehead. "And if we're being honest here . . ." Eddie starts, ". . . I really would rather you sat on my face. That sounds a lot better than just eating you out."

You're fucking soaked by his words, your core throbbing and flooding.

"I'd crush you, I think," you say. Eddie smiles.

"What a way to go."

You almost want to cry. This man is so sweet and funny and flirty. He always knows exactly what to say in order to make you feel good. You put your hands on his chest.

"Eds . . ."

"Seriously, sweetheart. I want you. All of you. Every curve, every roll, all of it."

You smile softly.

"Yeah?" you ask. Eddie nods, kissing your forehead.

"Yeah, sweetheart."

You're silent for a moment before he pulls you down the hall towards his bedroom. "Can we just try?" he asks. "And if you get uncomfortable, we can stop."

He's asking so nicely, and this does sound really good, and you know your boy always takes such good care of you . . .

You nod, and Eddie practically cheers.

"Yes! Fuck yeah, c'mon," he says.

Eddie tugs his shirt off as he walks, and he lies down on his bed. You shut his bedroom door just in case Wayne does, for some reason, come home several hours early. You pull off your own shirt, revealing your bra, and Eddie smiles fondly as he watches you. You push your pants down next, and your panties follow soon after.

"Fuck," Eddie breathes, pressing his palm down against his crotch for a bit of relief. "You look amazing."

You smile, reaching around to undo your bra.

"Leave it on," he says. "That's such a nice color on you . . . Plus, I think I'd just cum immediately if got to grab your tits and eat you out at the same time."

"Oh my god, Munson," you laugh, shaking your head as you straddle his hips. You roll your body down against his clothed erection, and he immediately grips your hips.

"Shit . . ." Eddie sighs. "Please get up here, I'm literally gonna cum in my jeans if you keep that shit up."

"We haven't even started yet!" you laugh, making your way up his body.

"That's how worked up I am!" Eddie says. Your pussy is just above his face, now, and Eddie is resisting every urge to lean up and just fucking devour you.

He gets a firm grip on your thighs.

"C'mon. Give it to me, baby. I want you."

You take a deep, steadying breath, then lower yourself. Eddie sticks his tongue out and licks a solid stipe through your pussy, and you groan quietly.

Your hands find his long, wavy hair, and you grip it at the root as you lower yourself a bit further.

"Mm, ride my face," Eddie moans. "C'mon. Use me. I want it."

You roll your hips experimentally, and Eddie's eyes flutter shut as you use his mouth, his tongue, as your sex toy.

"Shit," you breathe. "You like this? Like it when I use you?"

Eddie moans, nodding.

"Mm, you know what I wanna hear . . ." he says, and yes, you do know. You smirk, rolling your hips faster.

"Dirty boy," you say, tugging at his hair. "Eating my pussy like you're starving. You look -- mmph -- pathetic . . ."

Eddie's sighing and moaning as he desperately sucks and licks at you. He smacks your thigh.

"More, m-more. Want more of you."

"What do you want me to--?"

Eddie pulls you down so that you're putting more weight on him, and you grip the headboard suddenly.

"Can you breathe!?" you ask, laughing out of surprise.

"Mhm!" Eddie says as he gives you a quick thumbs-up. You smile as you begin to roll your hips again. You love it when he's in these moods: All bossy and needy.

"Shit, ohmygod . . . So good, Eds . . . Gonna cum on your tongue!"

Eddie says something that sounds a lot like "Do it, baby!" and you grind down on him faster.

"Fuck, naughty boy. Begging for me to cum in your mouth . . ."

Eddie lets out a soft chuckle, his nails digging int your thighs.

You feel your climax building, building, building, and then--

"Fuck!" you cry out, tears of pleasure filling your eyes. "Ohhhh, yes . . ."

You cum, and Eddie drinks it all down, licking at your entrance as he lets out soft moans. He loves you so much. So, so much, and he'll gladly take anything you want to give him.

You get off of him and sit beside him. His cheeks are red, and his mouth is wet and glossy with your arousal. He looks up at you, a blissed-out smile on his face.

"I came in my jeans," he admits softly. You gently push his bangs off of his sweaty forehead.

"Yeah?" you ask quietly. "Want me to clean you up?"

His eyes practically roll back as he hums at the thought of your mouth on him right now.

You chuckle.

"I'll take that as a yes?"

"Mm. Mhm. Give me a kiss first, though."

You press your lips against his firmly, and you taste yourself on him. It's more erotic than it should be.

"You're the best. So fucking pretty," Eddie says, drunk off your pussy. You give his head a gentle shake.

"Stay with me, baby," you tease. You kiss his forehead. "You did so well, Eds."

He smiles up at you boyishly, and you squeeze his cheek before moving down his body.

"Let me return the favor."

#rynwritesstuff #eddie munson fandom #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x reader #eddie stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson x plus size reader #eddie munson x reader comfort #eddie munson x reader fluff #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x reader smut #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fandom #stranger things 4

[jennifriend]

Dear OFMD,

I wasn’t sure who to address this to, at first. There are so many options, so many people instrumental in the creation of this show that means so much to me and so many others. David Jenkins, Taika Waititi, Vico Ortiz, Alex Sherman, and the rest of the producers, directors, writers, cast and crew. I did try to list out everyone, but it took up the whole first page. My social media follows exploded when I began watching.

The thing is, I’ve never quite been comfortable in my skin. I knew something was off about my gender as early as 8, possibly earlier, but eight is when I remember actually thinking that I wasn’t a girl for the first time.

I wasn’t a boy, either, but it was the eighties, and I didn’t know the term non-binary, or that gender was as much a brain thing as a body thing. So I shoved it down, along with the thought that the kids at my school should hurry up and learn the lessons already so we could go onto the next thing and that I hated wearing dresses, except when I loved it.

And then, I just . . . didn’t think about gender for a long time. Not when trans people were the butt of all the jokes in the movies in the nineties, not when trans stories, real trans stories started getting told in the aughts.

Someone gave me the word agender, once, when I was curious and asked what might describe someone who felt neither man nor woman, and never had, and I went with that. I still go with that, or enby, whichever I’m comfortable with in the moment. I was forty. Thirty-two years of not even knowing I was looking for that word, and I was.

And then a year or so later, someone talked me into watching Our Flag Means Death. 

I write. I’ve published. When you send a story out, you never know what other people are going to think of it, what symbolism they’re going to find, how they’re going to interpret this thing or that thing. So I don’t know if you realized when you finished filming the first season and sent it for edits, or finished the second season and watched us foam at the mouth for it, how the fans were going to react. 

There are a lot more of us out in the world that don’t feel quite right in whatever gender box we’ve been put in than anyone realizes, I think. And I think a lot of us gender-weirdos are fans of this show.

It’s not just Stede, and his love for fine things. It’s Ed, with his hidden silk, and his softly admitting to “maybe” liking “a fine fabric.” It’s not just Jim being outed, and everyone going right back to normal after they figure out that that’s what Jim wants. It’s not even just Wee John’s wonderful performance as Calypso.

It’s also Wee John sitting down to sew and saying he used to sew dresses with his mom. It’s calling Izzy the ship’s “new unicorn” and it’s also Izzy wearing make up. It’s everyone wearing flowers. 

It’s Spanish Jackie having nineteen husbands, and maybe some wives.

It’s a meme of any of the characters that’s just a screenshot and the word “gender” written across it.

It’s the concept of “assigned knives at birth” 

And it’s the community that this show created to let us feel free to explore all of this. We can bounce ideas off of each other, we can explore new identities, and you - the cast, the crew, the writers of this show - you have given us a safe space to do so.

I’ve been on the outskirts of a lot of fan spaces. I’ve never wanted to step into them because at their core, they seemed so toxic and gatekept. I’ve never felt that from the fans here (we’re not perfect, and there are a lot of very angry arguments over things that I hope you never see).

So yeah, this is my love letter to Our Flag Means Death, the show that helped me figure out, at forty-three, that my gender is, well, me. And it doesn’t have to fit anyone else’s label.

Thank you for creating it.

Thank you for writing it.

Thank you for acting in it.

Jenn

#ofmd #save ofmd #renew as a crew #renew our flag means death #ofmd meta #genderenby #enby #agender #nonbinary #nonhuman

[skye707]

How would the riddlers react to someone coming out to them as trans ? I really love your blog !! always bring me comfort when i feel a little down, so i have to ask this

Unburied - That's awesome! I mean he already hypothesized as such (of course he knows, he can read people like a book), but he waited for you to tell him yourself. So, as much as it is a welcoming feeling for you, he feels just as loved. Someone trusts him enough to open up that very personal aspect of their life to him? He could shed a tear, but he won't. Not the look he's going for.

ZY - Disregard for gender norms and societal pressure to fit into a finite box? That's pretty metal. His core belief is that human progress is all about thinking outside the box, and someone who has the guts to challenge centuries old thinking is definitely capable of such. You've got his respect, that's for sure.

Dano - Oh! Okay, wow. He's a little internet cretin, so he's more than familiar with the ignorant discourse that too many people experience when making the decision of coming out. So, naturally, he is now going to be your own little watchdog online. No, he's not going to tell you, he's gonna do it behind the scenes you might say. Point is, if you decide to come out publicly, no one is going to bother you. For any reason.

YJ - Ah, that's so cool. You trust him enough to present the truth about yourself. That makes him feel super special and warm and fuzzy, and now he's a stuttering mess again. Even goes a little pink in the cheeks. But also, he's a little jealous of your confidence. That's a huge decision! Maybe you could give him some pointers?

Gotham - I see, interesting. Tell him more, if you're comfortable with that? He's such an analytical little bean; he's got to know everything! More than that though, his friend has just released new information to him about their personal life. As such, he needs to file all of it away in his little mental filing cabinet for later use.

BTAA - Ah, congratulations, kid! A metamorphosis, you might say. How artistic! That gives him an idea for his next puzzle!! Next time you see his beautiful face on the news, you can hold close to your heart the knowledge that you and your spectacular story of self-realization played a key role in the creation of his magnum opus.

Arkham - That's great, now help him move this piece of scrap metal out of the way. This Ed is not overly concerned with the details of the human body. Machines are more his speed. Don't mistake the disinterest for insincerity, though. He does care that you thought so highly of him that you would come out to him. He's just emotionally constipated; his own emotions included.

BTAS - Really? How intriguing! Like Gotham, he wants all the information you can give him. Not just so he can say he has the info, he genuinely wants to do everything he can to make you feel comfortable and safe around him.

Telltale - Hm, congratulations. He doesn't even flinch. Grandpa has been everywhere and seen everything. Absolutely nothing phases him. However, does it seem like he's being a little nicer to you lately? A little less grouchy? Probably not, but maybe.

(p.s., I'm really happy for you, anon! You should always be yourself, no matter what that looks like, and I hope the people in your life hold the same sentiment 💙)

#riddler #the riddler #edward nashton #edward nygma #unburied!riddler #zero year riddler #capullo riddler #paul dano riddler #dano riddler #young justice riddler #gotham riddler #btaa riddler #arkham riddler #btas riddler #telltale riddler #riddlerverse hcs #Skye

[gayleviticus]

how do you feel about how Trisha was handled in 2003 vs brotherhood?

ooh good question. with the disclaimer that once again i dont have enough interest in brotherhood to devote much of my mind to remembering finicky details - i think generally it's kinda just a case of 'she serves the role she was cut out for perfectly fine in fmab, but 03 adds enough wrinkles to make her 10x more interesting'

ofc trisha herself is more or less the same in both versions; poor sweet mother who dies tragically and kicks off the plot. a bit cliche, feeding a bit into some gendered tropes but i don't think it counts as like, a fridging or anything.

but then obviously with sloth we have a really interesting twist on her character ripe with drama and tragedy and all sorts of implications. trisha's role in the narrative is to be the Dead Mother, and that basically eats up her entire personality. but sloth rebels against that. unlike lust, for whom her human life represents a love and life she was brutally cut off from, Sloth sees Trisha's life as a prison. and the worst part of all is the fact she could see herself coming to like it - "In time, I might even come to love you two, and how can I allow that? I should always hate you for creating me."

and so we see the sin of sloth reflected in three ways: trisha's sloth as she wastes away before her death, distant from the world, her only joy her children. then we have ed's sloth, first when he refuses to move on with his life and tries to reclaim what was lost by breaking alchemy's greatest taboo, and then later on when he ignores and suppresses the truth about what he's done. and finally Sloth's... well, sloth, of wanting the easy way out; she doesn't want to deal with these conflicted feelings around who she versus who Trisha was, so the solution is to kill Trisha's children. But also... that's exactly what Ed wants to do to her too!

and i think that's just inherently compelling material to work with! and i think probably the most telling scene about the differences between 03 and brotherhood tonally and interest-wise is the fact that digging up Trisha's grave in FMAB is a moment of relief, whereas in 03 it's a moment of horror. FMAB uses it to reassure the Elrics that however badly they fucked up, they didn't rebirth their mother into the world as some horrifying creation; in 03 that's exactly the case, and digging up her grave marks Ed's decision to destroy his own creation.

even sloth aside, i think there are a few more interesting touches to Trisha in 03 than fmab, although again, not really to do with her specifically. but the fact that 03 hoenheim is a well-meaning but genuinely shitty guy running away from the consequences of his own actions, for instance, puts a much more melancholy spin on Trisha before her death. here she was wasting away and eventually dying always waiting for her husband to come back. i think you could say there's something poignant, almost noble about Trisha's love for Hoenheim in FMAB; in 03 I think it's just a bit sad all around. the fmab scene where he and her reunite in the afterlife would ring v hollow in 03 i think

#fma 03 #fma comparison #fmab critical #tagging this to be safe #fma

[chhagiya]

Unpopular Opinion time:

(This is my opinion. If you don’t agree with me, I fully understand and I don’t have any problem with that. In the past, I have been harassed because some people disagreed with something that I posted purely as a joke. I respect everyone’s point of view)

Sometimes when people grow up in same sex environment as a child, they tend to be more comfortable with that sex. For example, if someone grew up in girl’s only school, then they tend to be more comfortable around girls rather than guys. When someone grows up in boys only school, they tend to be more comfortable around guys compare to girls. And this is often carried in adulthood.

I think Moon Jo is like that too. He grew up in an environment where there were mostly guys. We don’t know much about his childhood. We just know he grew up in an orphanage where Eom Bok Soon was director. So I’m guessing it was a catholic orphanage ( given Eom Bok Soon appears to be closely related to church). Catholic orphanages( especially in the 90s or so) often used to be very strict and most likely not co-Ed. If that is the case, then he probably didn’t have that much exposure to women or girls other than Eom Bok Soon. She was a mother figure to Moon Jo and she tortured him. So obviously that scarred him. It’s very likely that he didn’t have a loving childhood or maternal love for that matter. And his friends, roommates or classmates would have been all boys. So it’s likely that for these reasons, he is more comfortable around guys compared to women. I don’t think it’s his sexuality. It’s just the way he grew up.

Moon Jo is 100% attracted to Jung Woo, there’s no denying that. But I don’t think he is exclusively or strictly gay. Straight, Gay, Bi… these labels mean a person is in general attracted to opposite and/or same sex. Straight people are in general attracted to opposite sex, Gay people are attracted in general to same sex and Bi people are attracted in general to both sexes. Moon Jo is none of these. Seo Moon Jo is annoyed by most people in general. Jung Woo is an exception. I don’t think he was that attracted to Ki Hyuk. Moon Jo and Ki Hyuk were more like Boss and Boss’s right hand man rather than lovers. Other than Jung Woo, he finds most people to be uninteresting, boring and/or annoying. So in my opinion, none of the usual labels are applicable for him.

I think, Moon Jo’s attraction doesn’t depend on a person’s gender or sex at all. If he is emotionally and psychologically attracted to someone, he will be attracted to that person. If his mind is attracted, his body would follow. In my opinion, if Yoon Jung Woo was a woman with same mindset, same personality, same instincts and same madness, Moon Jo would still be attracted to that person. If Jung Woo was an alien from a different planet, he would still be attracted to him. I believe the terms for that are Demisexual or Sapiosexual ( I often joke he’s Jungwoosexual). I don’t want to label Moon Jo in any way, he’s too complex to put a definition on him. But if I had to define his sexuality to some extent, I would say, in a broad sense, he’s Demisexual or Sapiosexual.

#unpopular controversial opinion #it’s perfectly ok to disagree; I don’t mind #strangers from hell #seo moon jo #lee dongwook #hell is other people #seo moonjo #lee dong wook

[decepti-thots]

i would be super interesting in hearing your thoughts on the first trans tf character actually! transgender, textual and subtextual, in transformers is something i've been thinking about a lot recently

Personally, I do count it as Classics/Recordicons Howlback- for those not aware, the strip I'm referring to is this one.

...oh god this got longgggg, i will cut this to save all your dashes.

Willis actually talks about it here on Tumblr, basically saying he had been avoiding female characters in writing those strips for a while because while there are a couple of lasses in that continuity, the general rule of thumb was that everyone was supposed to be 'genderless' (which unfortunately in Classics continuity was actually just 'man as a default', because of course it was). And then he decided this was pretty daft of him because why couldn't a 'genderless society' just. Like. Decide 'hey, being a girl sounds neat' or whatever and then Be A Girl if they wanted. Which is pretty much what IDW would eventually retcon in as an explanation for how a robot species conceives of gender.

But since this is basically just a word of god situation, some folks argue this doesn't 'count'. Personally, despite not usually paying much attention to 'word of god', I count it because I think you have to give a certain amount of leeway when looking at the context it was being done in; if a creative wants a queer character or concept in there for a franchise where asking permission for that is required and yields uncertain results, insisting 'word of god doesn't ever count' strikes me as ungenerous. But true, Howlback is never canonized on panel as trans, so I see what people mean.

And then one elephant in the room in this whole discussion is... IDW Arcee. Spotlight Arcee is not a 'trans narrative' just because it leans on some very, very nasty transphobic tropes, and for many years IDW Arcee was not really treated as trans even by writers trying to do better by her than that shitty-ass comic. But as of the last ever issue of IDW1, and yes I really mean it was made 100% confirmed in the last ever comic for folks who didn't read exRiD btw, Barber managed to retcon it so Arcee was definitively, in-universe trans the whole time. And the Jhiaxus stuff didn't even have to be thrown out to do it. So is Arcee the 'first canon trans character'? Do we go from the date of OP #25, or from her Spotlight appearance? I personally go somewhere in the middle- Barber functionally treats her as trans throughout exRiD, he just never quite finds room to fit in an unambiguous mention- but that muddies stuff a lot. Some people argue IDW Arcee is the first canon trans character because she is both on-page trans and was introduced earlier, even if the confirmation of her as trans came way later, and very much in spite of what happened at the beginning.

And of course in between Barber taking over Arcee and him canonizing her as For Real Trans, we have Lug and Anode in Lost Light. This is on the page, it is explicitly unambiguously trans, and for some folks both of those things are needed for First Trans Character credentials. Meaning that they feel Lug and Anode, in 2016, were the actual honest-to-god first trans characters in TF, since they may not count Arcee's earlier appearances since at the time they were written, she wasn't yet trans. (Edit: amendment regarding a precursor to them is here.)

But then, what about the AVP stuff? Well after Howlback was word of god-ed as trans and before the above from Barber on the page in IDW, back in 2015 AVP, which is considered canon material, got asked about if any characters were trans. And answered in the affirmative! Notably, these are all little nods to characters who for various reasons have Stuff going on with their canon genders, e.g. G1 Overlord being nodded to as genderfluid because that character in the anime he originates from is basically 'created from' a man and a woman who are a married couple. (G1 Overlord is weird.) Also, Archadis was originally designed to be a female character and then swapped to male, which gets a nod as a trans man character, that sort of thing. These are technically not 'word of god', as AVP, despite functionally being a way to canonize word of god stuff, is in-universe fiction of its own and considered as such. I have seen at least one argument, therefore, that the 2015 AVP stuff constitutes the first unambiguous in-fiction depiction of explicitly trans characters in TF, as it predates all the above bar Howlback, who they don't count. But I've also seen some people say AVP is actually just a word of god machine and not canon as a result! So some people say none of the trans stuff in there is Real Canon!

...and you could really take it further and therefore look at which of those characters would be the earliest to debut in-fiction and I think that means you could make the claim the first ever canon trans character in TF is indeed G1 Overlord, which would be mostly very silly to do, but funny, so I think someone oughta.

Anyway. All this is to say, there's a lot of contenders for who is first, and probably more characters you can definitively call 'trans' in SOME context than many folks realize!

[demondamage]

Did Haziel ever get top or bottom surgery as a human? Was he on T?

Nope! He didnt even know he was trans tbh.

Haziels relationship with Gender is-- complex. He's from a very rural southern town snd grew up very isolated and indoctrinated from the local church. He was always boyish, much to his mothers displeasure, but he had no idea someone could be trans. He'll he only found out people could be gay when his dad came out and ran away from the town to move west.

However, when Haziel ended up leaving his town when he was 16 (ran away after a nasty fight with his mom) he kinda took on a male persona and the name of a male angel for safety and because as far as he knew, women could not do curch work or exorcisms. It started as a disguise but he passed very well without much effort and he was strangely comfortable as a man. It was like this pain had been removed from his life he hasn't known was there.

It was the 80s/90s so- transness was not as well known at the time but Haziel did find out a little about it in his travels before death but it just- didn't make sense. Men were men women were women and he was just pretending.

Well when angels become angels they are granted an entirely new body. And this new body Haziel got was perfectly cis male. No signs of transness because thats how haziel sees gender (or did at this point). Men were men. Women were women. And God had decided he was a man now and he was happier because of it.

Anyways now I'm getting into some wierd theory about transness and Haziel (and some transphobia stuff) so read on if ya want ignore if yoy just wanted an answer)

Anyways this gives him a lot of internalized transphobia, especially towards Aziphem. Idk if I want to write him being openly transphobic but-- I dunno. I also really want to see his character arc as he comes around to realizing that this hatred stems from his own self hatred (that he can only ignore because he is cis passing). Him and Azzi definitely both represent my experiences with transness (not the Christianity part- my religious beef lies with a different belief sect).

I know the idea of a transphobic whumper is a little taboo in this community (we've all seen the "I'll excuse torture but I draw the line at misgendering" meme) but in a sense- I think it's important to have because I feel like it's a path a lot of us have and are a little scared to admit.

Being trans, specifically non passing when passing is your goal, can be really painful and cause you to lash out. I used to hate guys who could look fem or didn't want top/bottom surgery because I still got she/her -ed every day. Now I don't bind and wear crop tops. There's also the whole issue of drawing a line in the sand as to where the "good" part of your community is and cutting off the "bad" part to appeal to those who deny you rights (angels and demon's.. wow that's not a subtle metaphor).

Haziel is at that stage in his trans journey, holding himself and others to a standard of cisness that he himself can only uphold bevause of his angelic privileges. At least in the main section of the story.

But he comes around, he has that character arc and- idk I was thinking about it recently. I was writing something and it just- made sense for haziel to use the F slur. It makes sense for him to be homophobic and transphobic, especially as a queer person himself. I may keep that writing and stuff to my NSFW accounts, simply bevause it's a mature topic and I'd rather adults read it. But in his true form- yeah he is kinda transphobic. And I don't want to erase that because it means more to me to show transphobia in a character and have them learn than to have a character be transphobic and just die or erase it entirely.

#Haziel #answered ask