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heyyyharry · 3 years

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Deep End - Chapter 6: Andersen’s Fairy Tales

…in which Harry teaches Ezi how to read.

Word count: 4k

AU: famous!harry, siren!mc, adult modern retelling of the little mermaid? lol, fake dating, enemies to lovers.

WARNING: MATURE THEMES

All chapters / Synopsis / Moodboard / Playlist

Wattpad link

A/N: please please let me know what you think. I can't write without motivation 😭

When Harry finally decided to answer his mother’s call, he had prepared himself for some verbal ass-whooping. He was twenty-four years old, a celebrity and a millionaire, yet still getting scolded by his mother on a daily basis. Life was good.

“Is your date okay?” The first thing his mother said to him was this. At first, Harry thought he’d misheard it. But then she repeated the question in a more urgent and concerning tone. “Harry, is Ezili okay?”

His mother had never remembered the name of any girl he’d brought home. His mother always had a lot to say about the way those girls had dressed, talked, and carried themselves. Had Ezi charmed his mother with her siren magic?

Harry shuddered at the thought. “Y-Yeah...why?”

“Dawson told me you and Bax got into a fight at the manor.”

Harry smacked his forehead. Fucking Dawson. “How did Dawson know?”

“He found Bax lying on the floor.”

Although Harry hated to recall that night because he couldn’t imagine how scared Ezi must have been, it was funny to think about how pathetic Bax must have looked when Dawson had found him. The mental image made Harry laugh. “See?” he told his mother. “It wasn’t a fight if it was one-sided. I beat him up.”

His mother exhaled sharply. Harry could imagine her with her eyes closed, shaking her head. “The only reason I will let you get away with fighting your cousin in my house is because I know what he was trying to do with Ezili. So I called to ask if she was okay.”

“She’s okay. Don’t worry. I think she also scared him.”

“She’s a woman. Any strong woman would’ve been terrified in that situation,” said Harry’s mum. “I feel bad for having let that happen. I shouldn’t have invited him.”

“It’s not your fault, Mum. He’s always been scum.”

There was a pause, and Harry knew exactly what his mother was going to say. “Bax’s parents have always hated us. They envy your father. I think they’re trying to sabotage our wine business. Maybe if you’d change your mind--”

“Mum, we’ve talked about this,” Harry sighed. “I love my career. I can’t...I’m not a businessman like Dad. Isn’t Dawson doing a good job managing our family business already?”

“He is. But I know your father would’ve wanted it to be you.” When Harry stayed quiet, his mother knew it was a sign that this topic shouldn’t be continued, so she switched to another. “You should invite Ezili to lunch at the manor.”

“Mum, that wouldn’t be necessary.”

“Nonsense! Her first time in our house and she got absolutely traumatised. I’ll make up for it. I’ll send you an invitation in the afternoon.”

“Mum, there’s no need for an in--”

But his Mum already hung up on him.

Sighing, Harry sunk back into his chair. A staff member knocked on the door and informed him that he would have to return to the set in fifteen minutes. He told them he got it and intended to call his mum again and try to talk her out of the lunch thing with Ezi. That was when he got another call.

“Don’t tell me someone’s injured. It’s only been an hour.”

“Worse!” Niall screamed. “Dawson kidnapped the girl!”

Ezili didn’t know if the bookstore was small or Harry’s house was just too big, but she liked the cosiness of it in contrast to what she’d always been used to. There were bookshelves climbing all the way up to the ceiling. The walls were covered with hundreds of books of all sizes, and there were dozens of piles on the floor in the corners as well. But seeing that most of the furniture was covered in dust, Ezili guessed they didn’t often have visitors.

She wondered why nobody wanted to come into this fascinating place. She loved books even though she couldn’t read or write. She’d found a few books in her room and some of them had pictures, but she could only guess what the stories were about. So she wanted to read, but it would be something her mother would never approve of. If she learned to read, she’d become a laughing stock for her kind for sure.

Entering the bookstore, Ezili and Dawson were greeted by an old lady with crazy chestnut hair that looked like she was wearing a fluffy dog on her head. Her eyes were huge behind those thick round glasses that gave her a psychotic kind of look that absolutely terrified Ezili.

“Hello, love birds,” she said with an ear-to-ear grin. Ezili could not take her eyes off the shiny wires attached to this lady’s teeth. They sparkled every time she opened her mouth. This woman must be rich if she wore silver on her teeth.

“Oh, we’re not birds,” Ezili said as she pulled Chilli tighter to her chest.

The crazy lady hugged her stomach and burst out laughing. “She’s a funny girl,” she told Dawson, pointing to Ezili, then her face turned serious. “But no cats allowed.”

“She’s with me. Her name is Chilli and she’s very nice--”

“She can stay here while you pick your books.” Before Ezili could protest, the lady took the black cat and put it on the counter. “So what are you looking for?”

“Thank you. We’ll just have a look around,” Dawson said with a tight smile and pulled Ezili with him. They turned into one of the aisles and heard the lady telling them she’d be here if they needed help. What kind of help would you need in a bookstore? It wasn’t like books would attack you.

“The Book of Wisdom,” Dawson said as he took out one colourful book from a higher shelf. Ezili peered over his arm as he scrutinised the front cover. He smelled like coconut and summer, which reminded her of those tropical islands she’d visited with her mother. And the fact that he was a lot taller than her made her want to bury her face into his chest to get soaked in that homely smell. But then she remembered what Harry had taught her about consent. Realising her chest was touching his arm, she stepped back and felt him relax a bit more. She hoped he didn’t think she was sexually hairdressing him. She had no idea why they called it hairdressing, and she kept forgetting to ask Harry.

“Hey, why do they call it hairdre--”

“Lesson 1: Be polite.”

Ezili jumped and hid behind Dawson’s back, her heart pounding violently. “Did the book just..talk?”

“Yeah, it’s a talking book for children,” Dawson chuckled. “I like your sense of humour.”

He flipped to a new page and the book talked again, “Remember, kids, if you accidentally raise your voice with someone, always apologise to them. It’s not nice to yell at other people.”

Ezili couldn’t decide if she was in awe or creeped out by the talking book. Maybe a little bit of both. But then her eyes zeroed in on a picture of a beautiful siren on one of the covers. She passed Dawson to try and was trying to reach for the book when his hand landed on her shoulder, and she looked up to see him grab the book without effort and hand it to her with a smile.

“You like this? It’s the new edition of Andersen’s Fairy Tale.”

“The Little Mermaid!”

“Yes.” Dawson’s eyes squinted behind his glasses. “You’ve never read Andersen’s Fairy Tales?”

“I have,” Ezili lied, hugging the book to her chest. “I want this book.”

“Great. I’ll buy it for you. As a gift.”

Harry had told Ezili that humans couldn’t just take the things they found because they would get arrested, and apparently, they couldn’t fight and kill each other for things either. It didn’t sound fair and was kind of stupid. Why were humans so dependent on these stupid papers they called money? Ezili couldn’t understand how their inferior brains worked sometimes.

“Hey, look,” Dawson said, holding up his phone that was buzzing in his hand. “Harry’s calling.”

Ezili couldn’t care less about Harry now. She let Dawson speak to him while she flipped through the book to look at pictures. But...why was there a picture of the prince and another girl? Didn’t he marry Ariel? She tried to look for the ones that revealed the new ending, which was apparently different from what she’d seen on the telly, but the rest of the chapter was just text and no pictures. She hated this. She wished she could read.

“Yeah, she’s here with me. The bookstore is just a few blocks near your house…” Dawson finished the call with Harry and turned back to Ezili. “He’s coming to pick you up.”

She found it strange that Harry would speak about Dawson with such hatred, like the way Koa would speak about Ezili, while Dawson had always been so nice about Harry. She couldn’t recall him saying anything bad about Harry when in fact, she could go on and on for days about Harry’s bad qualities. And she’d only known him for a week!

“Why doesn’t Harry like you?”

The question seemed to have caught Dawson by surprise, but he was quick to put on a smile.

“I don’t know. Maybe because I’m helping his mum run the business his father left for him. But he was the one who didn’t want it. He wanted to become a singer.”

“Harry’s mother doesn’t want him to be a singer?”

“No.”

Ezili closed the book and gave an understanding nod. “My mother never lets me do things I like, either. She never thinks I’m good enough because I’m not like her.”

“I’m sure your mother loves you,” Dawson said. Ezili liked the twinkle in his eyes and tenderness in his voice when he reassured her. Maybe he had a special gift that only sirens had. The gift to charm anybody they wanted. “Every mother has their own burdens and loves us in a different way.”

“But...if they love us, should they want us to be happy?”

Ezili didn’t know where that had come from. For the last twenty years of her life, she had never once thought of this. Why now? Why now that she decided that she could have been happier if her mother hadn’t been the way she was? But sirens were all supposed to be the way her mother was. Cold and dangerous like the ocean itself. So did it mean...did it mean her mother and sister were right? That she was too weak and emotional to become Queen?

“Ezi!”

The sound of her name pulled her out of her own head. She snapped her head up to find Harry padding toward her. He looked just like that night when he’d scolded her for biting his cousin. She hated this Harry.

“Let’s go home,” he told her coldly.

Before she could reply, he took her wrist and pulled her with him. The book fell to her feet and she was too appalled to even pick it up. She was about to remind Harry that Dawson was standing right there, but then she realised Harry had intentionally ignored his cousin.

“Ezili, your book!”

Harry and Ezi stopped before they got into the car parked out front. Dawson handed her the book and beamed. “I already paid for it.”

“Thank you.”

“Very nice. Get in, Ezi.”

Dawson seemed slightly annoyed by Harry’s attitude, but he didn’t act on it. Instead, he gave Ezili another gentle smile and told her he’d see her another time. Then, he went back inside the bookstore.

Ezili wished she could have stayed with him.

“Rescue mission accomplished!” said an energetic voice as Ezili got into the back of the car. A stranger she had never seen before peered around the passenger seat and smiled at her before he started speaking in a funny accent, “You’re welcome, by the way. The name’s Niall.”

Chilli was sitting on Niall’s lap, licking her own paw, which showed that she was comfortable around Niall, and Niall wasn’t an enemy. To human Ezili, of course. All humans were enemies to sirens.

“I’m Ezili,” Ezili said, then, she recognised the funny accent. “You’re Niall...Horan?”

“You know me?”

Ezili could feel her grin stretch from ear to ear. “I saw you on TikTok! You’re so funny.”

“Look, H, a fan!” Niall exclaimed as he shook Harry’s shoulder, but Harry didn’t react as he manoeuvred the car back onto the road. “I like her already.” Niall laughed. “I’m Harry’s best friend. Are you following my TikTok?”

“Yeah. I’ve watched every single one.”

“Good, good, good,” Niall said, nodding slowly. He turned to the front and back to Ezili immediately. “Also, I’m sorry about what happened to you. The accident must have been awful.”

“What?”

“Niall,” Harry growled. “Seatbelt.”

Niall flinched. “Sorry.”

Frowning, Ezili hugged her new book and sunk into her seat. She hated this Harry. He reminded her of a whale with a toothache, and even with that image in mind, she still couldn’t laugh. That was how angry she was with him. Yes, she was angry with him being angry with her. And for pulling her out of that beautiful bookstore. For making her drop her book. For holding her hostage like a prisoner. For being rude to Dawson. She hated him. She hated Harry Styles.

So when they’d arrived home and he told her to go inside and hang with Niall, she had to chase after him and let him know how much she hated him.

“Harry Styles!” She called when they reached the white stairs leading to the enormous courtyard where he’d parked his car. “Why are you upset? You have no right to be mad at me after you lied to me.”

Harry stopped halfway down the stairs; it seemed like Ezili’s words had finally hit him. He slowly spun around with a stunned expression as if she’d accused him of manslaughtering. “I didn’t lie to you,” he said, his jaw tight. “I told you to stay in your room. You were grounded.”

“You didn’t tell me that you’d leave me with your assistant and Niall!”

“But I didn’t lie to you.”

“Telling half-truths is telling lies.”

Harry held Ezili’s gaze for a long moment before he started ascending the stairs. She stiffened as he stopped right in front of her, leaned in, and stared.

“Oh, so you’re so honest, aren’t you?” he asked in a mocking tone. “You’ve never lied to me?”

“Never,” she said confidently.

Well, that was also a lie. But since when had Ezili felt bad for lying? She’d eaten men like him. Why did his presence now make her nervous?

She hated that the more she stayed human the more human she became. That thought terrified her even more than the possibility of getting caught and killed in this foreign land.

“I’ve never lied in my entire life,” she added, making Harry's eyes grow wide.

He said nothing, and when he turned to leave, she hurriedly followed him down the stairs. “Speechless by my honesty?” she asked.

“Speechless by the lies that come out of your mouth,” he said. “Is your name even Ezi?”

“No, it’s Ezili.”

Harry let out a scoff but he didn’t stop, so Ezili grabbed him by the arm and spun him around. Hard.

“Shit! How are you so strong?” he cried out, facing her again.

“Apologise.”

“What?”

Ezili folded her arms across her chest and sharpened her gaze. “Apologise right now.”

“For what?”

“For yelling at me.”

“And why should I apologise for yelling at you?”

Ezili bit her lip. The voice inside her head told her to push him down the stairs. She could just say it was an accident, and no one could prove that she’d done it. However, she needed him alive. Sucking in a breath, she said, “Because that’s what decent people do. A talking book told me that.”

“You mean those children's books you found in the bookstore,” Harry taunted, giving her a despiteful smirk.

She scowled at him even harder. “Apologise.”

“Fine,” he breathed. “I apologise for yelling at you. Now you apologise for stealing my cat.”

“I tried to save Chilli. You see, your assistant said something about the Master of the House being dead. I thought you were dead. But she was only talking about a show--”

“Yeah, famous Netflix show. It’s good. But that’s still no excuse for taking my cat.”

“Fine.” Ezili glared at him. “I’m sorry for stealing your cat.”

“And for getting into Dawson’s car.”

“And for leaving with him and liking him.”

“And for—What is your problem with Dawson?”

Instead of answering the question, Harry pulled out his phone, looked at it, and then told Ezili, “Go inside. We’ll continue this talk when I get back.”

He was just about to run when she pulled him back by his sleeve. He gave her a ‘what do you want?’ kind of look as she stammered, “When...when you get back…”

“Yeah?” He stressed out the word, an eyebrow arched impatiently.

“Can you teach me how to read?”

“What?”

“Teach me to read. Are you deaf?”

“You can’t read?”

When Ezili shook her head, Harry’s frown transformed into a smile. “That explains a lot.”

She smacked him on the arm and he gasped and leapt down two steps.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing! Why are you so aggressive?” Harry winced and backed away from her. “We’ll talk about this later. Now go inside and film a TikTok with Niall or something. I’m late for a photoshoot.”

Ezili opened her mouth to ask him what time he’d be home, but Harry had already run back to his car.

Harry got home at around 10 PM. He’d had a rough day. His manager had been furious because he had run out on a magazine photoshoot without saying a word to anyone. In his defence, he’d been in a rush, and couldn’t figure out an excuse to cover up for the fact that he’d almost let a mythical creature get loose. He shouldn’t have been so careless and left her with his assistant and Niall. That was his fault. Also, he could never think straight when he was angry. He thought about the look Ezili had given him when he’d pulled her out of the bookstore. The look Dawson had given him. Fucking Dawson. If it wasn’t for him, Harry wouldn’t have had to be mean to Ezi.

“Hey.”

“Jesus!” Harry shouted when the light switched on and he saw Ezili sitting on the floor in the middle of the living room. “Wha--Why are you on the floor? Get up.”

“This is Chilli’s favourite spot so I thought I might try to see how comfortable it is. Pretty uncomfortable, I must say.”

Harry rolled his eyes and offered Ezi a hand to help her get to her feet. “Why are you still awake?”

She pulled away from him and rushed over to the table to grab the book Dawson had given her. She shoved it at him. “You promised to teach me to read. This is a collection of fairy tales. Andersen’s Fairy Tales. I noticed that one of the details from The Little Mermaid story was different from the film, so I want to know how the story actually ends in the book.”

Harry sighed as he took the book and looked at the cover. When he glanced up, Ezi was giving him these big puppy dog’s eyes with her hands clasped together in front of her chest. “It’s late,” he said tiredly.

She shook her head. “You promised!”

“I can just tell you the ending.”

“No, I want to read!”

“Fine, fine.” He put his hands up, left palm out, the other holding the book. “I guess there’s still time to teach you the alphabet then we’ll call it a day.”

Harry could have sworn he had never seen anyone as excited about learning as Ezi was, which was quite amusing, he must admit. So they sat on the couch as he taught her the alphabet and how to put letters into words. She was a fast learner, so it didn’t take long for her to memorise everything.

“It’s been three hours and I still can’t read,” Ezili whined as she hit him with a pillow.

Shocked, Harry blinked at her. “That’s not how learning works. You need time.”

“You said my brain was more developed!”

“Yeah, but still!”

Scowling, Ezi kicked Harry’s feet. “You’re the worst teacher ever. I’ll never get to know how it ends.”

“Okay, Miss Drama Queen,” Harry scoffed. “How about I read you the story now, and when you can read on your own, you can practice by rereading it?”

Ezi thought for a moment, then the line between her brows eased, and she nodded once. “But you must teach me everyday until I can read.”

“Fine,” Harry breathed as he opened the book. His body stiffened when Ezi suddenly leaned on him like he was a pillow, her cheek against his arm, and he could feel every beat of her heart.

“Go on,” she urged him, giving him a nudge.

He cleared his throat and opened the book, trying to distract his naughty mind with the innocent words of a fairy tale.

Far out in the ocean, where the water is as blue as the prettiest cornflower, and as clear as crystal, it is very, very deep; so deep, indeed, that no cable could fathom it: many church steeples, piled one upon another, would not reach from the ground beneath to the surface of the water above. There dwell the Sea King and his subjects. We must not imagine that there is nothing at the bottom of the sea but bare yellow sand. No, indeed; the most singular flowers and plants grow there; the leaves and stems of which are so pliant, that the slightest agitation of the water causes them to stir as if they had life. Fishes, both large and small, glide between the branches, as birds fly among the trees here upon land. In the deepest spot of all, stands the castle of the Sea King. Its walls are built of coral, and the long, gothic windows are of the clearest amber. The roof is formed of shells, that open and close as the water flows over them. Their appearance is very beautiful, for in each lies a glittering pearl, which would be fit for the diadem of a queen...

By the time they’d finished one-third of the story, Ezi had already fallen asleep with her head on Harry’s shoulder. Harry wished he’d read this to her in bed so he wouldn’t have to carry her upstairs now. She was small and slender, but he’d had a bad day, so even the littlest inconvenience could bring down his mood. Cursing under his breath, he picked her up and carried her to the stairs as she curled against his chest like a little cat.

When her eyelids fluttered, he thought she was going to jolt awake, but then her brows knitted, and she murmured, “Mother, please...give me more time. I will bring you the heart…the heart...”

He chuckled and put her down on the bed.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles smut #harry smut #harry styles x mc #harry styles x oc #harry styles imagines #harry styles writing #harry styles series

154 notes · View notes

lilacs-fandom-garden · 3 years

Text

Incorrect Quotes 4

Ships:

Errorink (lol I dont have much Errorink in my posts still, sorry)

Kreme/Driller

Crossmare

Dustberry

Horrorlust

Scifell

Afterdeath

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Geno, to Ink: I dare you to—

Dream: Ink isn’t allowed to accept dares.

Ink: Apparently I have ”no regard for my personal safety”

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Dust: Do you miss the imagination of childhood?

Cross: I never had one.

Dust: An imagination or a childhood?

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Horror: *accidentally hits Error in the face*

Horror: *trying to decide between saying “I’m fucking sorry” and “are you okay?”

Horror: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!

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Killer: Do you like my outfit?

Dream: Not as much as I like what's underneath it.

Killer, blushing: I- Dre-

Dream: I need your chair. Get up.

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Horror: Do you know when you know someone, and you see that they have another, like, life away from you and it feels weird?

Dust: Like when you see your teacher in the grocery store weird, or like when someone you’ve known for a long time starts wearing a cowboy hat weird?

Horror: The… The first thing weird

Dust: Oh, that’s good, ‘Cause I was thinking about getting a cowboy hat

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Cross: You read my diary?!

Dream: At first, I didn’t know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.

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Lust: Sorry, but you're under arrest for robbery.

Horror: What did I steal?

Lust, trying not to cry: My heart

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Dream: Killer and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us

Cross: *Sighing* What did Killer do?

Dream: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...

Killer: Who wants a steering wheel?

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Dream: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?

Killer: *chugs entire bottle*

Killer: It’s perfume.

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Killer, watching the news: Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today.

Dream: *walks in covered with ink* Well, maybe the squid was being a jerk!

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Killer, tending to Dream's wounds: How would you rate your pain?

Dream: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

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Killer: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

Horror, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

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Dust: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao

Horror: What did you do!?

Dust: A MISTAKE

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Dust, addressing the squad: And if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box.

Horror: But – that’s just a trash can.

Dust: It sure is!

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Dream: With great power comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.

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Fell: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives

Sci: I wake up at 4:30 AM

Fell:

Fell: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

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Sci: If you were to vacuum up jello through a metal tube, well I think that’d be a neat noise

Fell: I beg to differ

Sci: Then Beg

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Dust: You’re a lying, cheating, piece of shit! You’re not the person I married!

Blue: Fine then! We’re getting a divorce! And i’m taking the kids!

Dream, pushing the monopoly board away from them: …maybe we should stop playing…

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Dream: I relate to Belle because she loves books and likes people for who they are!

Ink: I relate to Tinkerbell because she needs attention or she dies.

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Killer: *dials 911*

Killer: hey i hate to be “that guy” but i glued myself to the ceiling again

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Ink: Things have actually been going really well with Error. Our friendship is in a really good place.

Ink: Last week I said, “Did you know the weiner dog is neither a weiner nor a dog?” Instead of saying, “Shut up, Ink,” they said, “Okay.”

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Lust: *signs a legal document with a glitter gel pen*

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Horror, dumping out a shopping bag full of Lunchables onto the table: Tonight, we feast.

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Error or Nightmare: *kicks “G” off Graveyard sign*

Error or Nightmare: Let’s get this party started.

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Reaper: Did Geno just tell me they loved me for the first time?

Cross: Yeah.

Reaper: And did I do finger guns back?

Cross: Yeah, you did.

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Sci: Name one time I haven’t acted professional

Geno: You’re holding a juice box right now

Sci: It’s to stop me from spilling my juice.

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*The Bad Sanses response to I love you*

Killer: Thanks fam!

Horror: oh no

Dust: *cries* I love you too

Cross: Sounds fake but okay

Error: *A flustered mess*

Nightmare: can i get a refund

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Sci: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.

Blue: What if it bites me and it dies!?

Sci: Then you’re poisonous.

Dream: What if it bites itself and I die?

Sci: That’s voodoo.

Error: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Sci: That’s correlation, not causation.

Horror: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?

Ink & Killer at the same time: That’s kinky.

Sci: Oh my God.

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Blue: Truth or dare?

Lust: Dare

Blue: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room

Lust: Hey Ink.

Ink: Yeah?

Lust: Could you move? I’m trying to get to Geno.

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Killer: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me

Horror: Okay, but in my defense, Dust bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.

Killer: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

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*The group is getting into the car*

Lust: I’m driving.

Geno, out of view: Shotgun!

Sci, turning to face Geno: Aww! But you had it on the way here-

Everyone except Geno: WOAH-

Geno, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*

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A random stranger: Go to Hell

Nightmare, tearing up: I wish I could

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Error: Dear friends, your Christmas gift this year… is me. That’s right, another year of friendship. Your membership has been renewed.

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Blue: I’m going to defeat you with the power of friendship! ... And this knife I found.

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Dust: My life isn’t as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look like.

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Killer: You know how I roll.

Killer: And I’m not talking about that time I fell into a pile of dung at the foot of a hill.

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Dream: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But emotionally? Imagine the toll.

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Killer: You seem familiar, have I threatened you before?

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Blue: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.

Fell: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

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Horror: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running?

Dust: Oh, I’m always running

Dust: The question is from what

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Blue: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE

Fell: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially

Blue, desperately, as Fell bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Fell: Oh! B positive.

Blue: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Fell:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Horror: So what’s for dinner?

Dust, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: Hey, you want some leftovers?

Cross: What's that?

Nightmare: You've never had leftovers???

Cross: No, because I'm not a quitter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: You often use humor to deflect trauma

Cross: Thank you

Nightmare: I didn't say that was a good thing

Cross: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sci, pointing: May I sit there?

Fell: That's my lap

Sci: That doesn't answer my question, Fell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life

Dream: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?

Blue: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.

Ink: edible

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'Can I copy the homework?'

Horror: I can help you with it!

Killer: Yeah, sure.

Dust: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.

Error: lol nope.

Cross: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!

Nightmare: *Read 5:55pm*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Horror: >:O language

Dust: Yeah watch your fucking language

Cross: OKAY WHO TAUGHT DUST THE FUCK WORD?

Error: 'The fuck word'.

Killer: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

Dust: Oh my god they censored it

Error: Say fuck, Killer.

Dust: Do it, Killer. Say fuck.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: Croissants: dropped

Horror: Road: works ahead

Dust: BBQ sauce: on my titties

Cross: Shavacado: fre

Error: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead

Nightmare:

Nightmare, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.

Horror: Okay, but what is updog?

Dust: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.

Cross: Not, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.

Error: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.

Killer: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

Nightmare: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.

Cross: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

Dust: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.

Horror: What’s a henway??

Nightmare: Oh, about five pounds.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: Dumbest scar stories, go!

Horror: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.

Error: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.

Cross: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.

Dust: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.

Nightmare:

Nightmare: I have emotional scars.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*

Horror: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents

Killer: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you

Error: Actually I did the math, Horror would have $225, not $0.15.

Horror: Fam I’m right here....

Cross: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)

Killer: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?

Cross: Sorry I only have a dollar

Killer: :(

Error: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Horror would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent

Cross: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice

Error: You can buy anything you want with $22,500

Dust: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice

Error: Apply juice to what

Nightmare: Directly to the forehead

Horror: Great chat everyone

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?

Horror: Have everyone stand.

Cross: Bring three more chairs.

Error: The most important ones can sit down.

Dust: Kill three.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: You're a loose cannon, Horror.

Horror: No, I'm not. I'm a cannon maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?

Error: I think you play by your own rules.

Cross: No way, they think rules were made to be broken.

Killer: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.

Horror: No, I'm just a reckless renegade. Dust is a loose cannon.

Dust: *smashes a chair*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross: Are we really going to let Error keep Horror?

Killer: We kept Dust.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: Good morning.

Horror: Good morning.

Error: Good morning.

Cross: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

Dust: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?

Horror: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies

Dust: Socks are Feetie Heaties

Cross: Forks are Stabby Grabbies

Horror: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties

Dust: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies

Cross: Stamps are Lickie Stickies

Error, annoyed: You are disappointments

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: What’s something you guys are better than Killer at?

Error: Mario Kart.

Cross: Yeah, video games.

Horror: Emotional vulnerability.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Horror: This knife is actually a magic wand.

Cross: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.

Killer: *cocks gun* Magic missile.

Error: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lust: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you’re all invited

Geno: If?

Sci: Great, the only party I’ve ever been invited to and he might not even die.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lust, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him

Geno: You did WHAT–

Sci: William Snakepeare

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lust: Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness.

Geno: Next time you’re working out do 15 push ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Burn your ex’s house down. You can do it. I believe in you.

Sci: There were so many mixed messages in that I can’t-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lust: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place.

Geno: You people already know too much about me.

Sci: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lust: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?

Geno: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.

Sci: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.

Geno: Good thinking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lust: 'Person of interest' is almost too flattering.

Lust: Like, if the police were to pound on my door and go, 'A man has been murdered in your building and you are a person of interest,' I'd be like, 'Moi? Oh, do go on.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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itwoodbeprefect · 3 years

Text

decided to just compile a bunch of comments about my sga 1x01 rising rewatch into a single post because i don’t actually want to make a hundred posts in a row, so here, under the cut, many rambles:

announcer guy does, in fact, speak english upon a second attempt. well done on not forgetting to not speak german, announcer guy.

“i’m afraid of the thing” elizabeth says, about the drone chair, while standing next to it and looking like she wants to fuck it

rodney in that orange sweater! very orange! very warm!

john is on screen. john’s first words are helicopters he knows how to fly. john KINDA LIKES IT in antarctica. john has barely done anything and i already feel like crying a little bit about this guy who LIKES ANTARCTICA because he just wants to fly

POOR CARSON when he almost kills two people. “ai told ya ai was the wrong pursohn” :(

i really love how john sees the drone coming at the (landed) helicopter and yells “get out!” and they throw open their doors and john JUMPS and then it’s just “ugh.” and he’s belly-down on the floor and still like, almost under the helicopter. an attempt was made, for sure. just not a very succesful one.

the way john looks around like he’s never seen a ceiling before when he enters the base is just. very funny. and then some guy in particular is looking at him because he’s a bit of a weirdo and john looks back and the guy sort of looks him up and down and john looks away as if to check if anybody saw that. hmm.

john’s face of “oops” after he sits down in the chair and it ACTIVATES and carson RUNS OFF to go get literally everyone and john is realizing he MAY have just made a very giant big mistake. PRICELESS

teyla: my people have long believed the wraith will come if we venture into the ancient city. sumner, when the wraith come after he ventures into the ancient city: [surprised pikachu face]

gotta love how john insisting on saving his people is what wakes up the wraith, and saving his people is also what landed john in antarctica in the first place because he tried it in afghanistan once before. which wouldn’t have happened if there hadn’t been an american war in afghanistan in the first place, which there wouldn’t have been if bush hadn’t thrown the us into it, which wouldn’t have happened without 9/11, so... bin laden woke the wraith?

on the other hand john would never have had to go on a rescue mission on his first day in pegasus if sumner hadn’t gone into that city against the wishes of the people that already lived there and had a history dating back thousands of years with the place, so more realistically, the expeditions’ colonizer mentality woke the wraith. and then they just kinda... kept going with that for the rest of the show, because it worked out so well on that first day.

anyway i’m not even there yet - puddlejumper! it jumps puddles!

have to love the moment john realizes the puddlejumper is pretty literally reading his mind and giving him anything he can think of that is within its power (so no turkey sandwiches, but that’s okay). john is already in love with it just based on the fact that IT CAN FLY AND GO FAST (“i kinda like it here”, restored) but then all the ancient technology just seems to know him and love him back and gives him way more than he even thinks to ask for. which, for john, who doesn’t really do well expressing desires? a FLYING SHIP that then READS HIS MIND? starstruck. love at first sight. john&puddlejumper, instant bffs. i bet it would have popped a compartment with some stray bits of wire if he’d asked for a friendship bracelet right then and there. ford sitting there witnessing this doesn’t even know how hard he’s thirdwheeling it in that moment.

now i am at the bit where sumner is taken from the wraith prison to see the actual wraith, and look, obviously they’re evil and feed on humans etc etc, but this particular wraith’s sense of dramatics? unparalleled. she has them bring her victims one by one to a large foggy room with a looong table set with a wonderful dinner and then she LEAVES a DEAD BODY sitting at the head of the table (implied to be the athosian that was taken before sumner?) and drops down from the ceiling while sumner has his back turned for no reason except the spectacle of it all, and dracula himself literally couldn’t have made a better display out of this. it’s maybe scary in the way that it makes clear she’s a cat toying with a helpless mouse before she eats it, but it’s also hilarious in the way that this is absolutely a very bored immortal being who had to stay up while the rest went to sleep and is inventing high school improv plays with her dinner for some diversion. don’t play with your food, wraith queen. you’re scaring your dinner.

life signs detector!!! ford didn’t get to name the puddlejumpers gateships, but that one stuck, no matter how much “we can name it later” john was trying to throw at it!!!

(god. there’s a ficlet somewhere in there about season 2 john having a moment where he realizes he’s on the hunt for ford using the thing they first discovered together and that ford gave its name.)

getting sidetracked here, but when john and ford find the group of humans caught by the wraith teyla goes “major!” and it makes me think that. well. how are the athosians supposed to know things like “major” and “colonel” are military ranks? what are the chances the pegasus galaxy uses the same designations? (don’t really know how the language thing works here - we��re hopefully not supposed to think they’re all speaking english, are they? i’ve never watched sg1, there’s probably lore about this, i assume. maybe alien titles somehow get perfect translations to earth ones and vice versa.) but i mean, teyla is too smart, she’d have it figured out already even if those words don’t exist in her galaxy, but some athosian somewhere is going to be very confused by this earth tendency to name way too many kids private and lieutenant, and then put all of them into the army. strange, to have your job decided for you at birth like that. earth people are weeeeird.

fjdkl john is like bye, gonna go find colonel sumner all on my own, run if you don’t hear from me in twenty minutes, and ford’s like “you’re the only one who can fly these people out of here” and “i’m saying i should be the one to go, sir” and john, with his savior can’t-leave-anyone-behind-gotta-do-this-personally-or-i-will-literally-die-from-not-almost-dying complex DOES NOT LISTEN to ford’s EXTREMELY ACCURATE objection. which is his right, as ranking officer, but is also a perfect showcase of why john Should Not Ever be in charge of atlantis, and why sam saying he was totally on the shortlist when she takes over command in s4 is funny but frightening if you’re on atlantis and like being alive.

sumner: “we travel through the stargate as peaceful explorers.” FDJKFD. god, that line, from that character, hilarious.

rodney comes to elizabeth full of enthusiasm about all the interesting stuff they’re finding in the city only to find her staring at the empty gate and when she says she should never have let them (the rescue party) go, he sobers up and says awkwardly “for what it’s worth, you made the right decision” and that’s GOOD that’s KIND.

back on the planet with the wraith everyone is running to the jumper while there are wraith darts whizzing through the air and teyla turns back, catches up with ford who was told to cover their six, disarms him (because he was firing at illusions, revealing their position), hands him back his weapon, pulls him in the direction of the puddlejumper, and PUSHES HIM ASIDE when they’re almost scooped up by a wraith dart, and i’m so here for teyla being allowed a moment of heroics that saves specifically ford, guy with a gun, and not a random athosian damsel in distress. teyla is fully on their level. teyla is perhaps above their level. thank you.

that scene at the end of this episode!! in which there’s a sort of party on atlantis and it’s all buzzing and relaxed while the athosians are mingling freely with the expedition members and they’re talking of friendship and ugh. UGH. there’s a better version of sga in an alternate universe where the expedition didn’t decide atlantis was totally theirs, actually, and they cooperate with the people that were already in the galaxy when they came there and learn from sumner’s mistake to actually respect what they have to say and form a single front and teyla takes over as head of the expedition in s4 when there’s a void left by elizabeth’s absence.

final thought that has always haunted me a little: john suddenly becoming the ranking military member on atlantis after sumner’s death is ?? one of those things where i wonder what the sgc was thinking in their personnel assignments. john wasn’t even supposed to BE THERE. if john hadn’t gone and sumner had still died (which was something they should have considered as a possiblitiy! they didn’t know what they were walking into at all! sumner is apparently the type to lead his own missions!), then what exactly would they have done? i don’t know much about how the us military operates but i’ve watched enough mash to have figured out the order of the ranks and it just seems. very odd to me? to take one (1) colonel on this mission and then ZERO lieutenant colonels OR majors (if john hadn’t stumbled his way into it, that is). like, are there any captains on atlantis? (i think there are?) or would ford, a lieutenant, have ended up ranking military member? this is like the surely-they-only-need-a-single-medical-doctor-right thing. WHAT IS THE SGC THINKING.

anyway. this was good. i liked this. i hadn’t rewatched the pilot in a while, and i only just now figured out how much of a while, because there was a bunch in here i didn’t remember. ON TO EPISODE TWO.

#stargatezing #here that's the stargate liveblogging tag now #sga #*#stargate atlantis #this is apparently 1600 words so uh. i think this is a better format than stray posts

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ihearthorror · 3 years

Text

My Top 10 Favourite Horror Films of 2020

Every January, most people who review or talk about movies on YouTube tend to piece together a Top 10 list of their favourite movies from the year prior. In order to stand out from the crowd (and also because I was too lazy to do this sooner), I decided to wait until March, by which time most YouTubers aren’t really talking about movies from 2020 anymore.

I know what you’re thinking: sounds kinda stupid – why would anybody care about a Top 10 list of the best movies of 2020…THREE months into the new year!? Well, as you’ve likely heard, 2020 was a year like no other, and as result of the ongoing global pandemic, movie release dates from 2020 were pushed back months, sometimes multiple times. Some films that were supposed to be released last year didn’t arrive until 2021, even though they’re officially considered “2020 films,” according to their profiles on websites like IMBD and Letterboxd.

And so, some of these so-called “2020 films” were not available (at least to me) until only recently, such as Saint Maud or The Dark and the Wicked. I feel like I’ve now had a chance to see almost all of the horror films I’ve wanted to see from last year. In this video, if you care to stick around, I will share with you my Top 10 favourite horror films of 2020. So, here we go…

#10/ The Dark and the Wicked:

A sister and brother return to the family homestead where their father is slowly dying and their mother is understandably distraught but also disturbed and distant. The siblings soon realize that something evil has invaded their family home as they are terrorized by whatever is slowly killing their father. Directed by the same guy behind 2008’s The Strangers, The Dark and the Wicked is at times bleak and unsettling, and it does a good job at keeping you intrigued in this family’s unnerving conflict. However, it felt a bit rushed and undeveloped at other times, and its ending left me somewhat unsatisfied.

#9/ Relic:

Soon after Kay and her daughter Sam return to their remote family home following the disappearance of the family matriarch, the widowed Edna, they discover that something sinister has taken hold of both Edna and the house itself. Although Relic – which was co-produced by Jake Gyllenhaal and marked the feature directorial debut for Natalie Erika James – isn’t exactly offering up any enticing twists or salacious gore, or even a original concept for that matter, it relies on evoking dread and building tension to compel its audience to stay invested until the bitter end.

#8/ Amulet:

Taking its sweet time to unravel, Amulet is centered around Tomaz, an ex-soldier who is now homeless but is offered a place to stay at a decaying house in London, which is inhabited by a beautiful young woman named Magda and her dying mother. As the story moves along, we see that Tomaz is starting to develop feelings for Magda, who seems a bit…off. His feelings for her don’t wane even after Tomaz discovers that there’s something insidious going on in the attic of the house, where Magda’s mother is seemingly imprisoned. Toss in a suspicious nun and you’ve got yourself a creepy little film that seems to have fallen between the cracks.

#7/ The Beach House:

One might argue that not a lot actually happens in The Beach House and that the payoff isn’t worth the investment, but if you go into this film with an open mind and zero expectations, you should at least be satisfied. Two troubled college students head to a deserted beach getaway to spend some time together, but end up struggling to survive alongside some unexpected guests as a mysterious infection disrupts their holiday. Although it is a slow build up to the film’s climax, it is a tense and intriguing ride along the way, as a series of unsettling events give way to an apocalyptic episode that feels almost like a throwback to the sci-fi films of the 1950s. Making his feature film directorial debut, Jeffrey A. Brown elicits with The Beach House those brooding existential thoughts that lay dormant in the deep boroughs of our minds.

#6/ The Invisible Man:

There’s always an elevated risk when making a modern film based on an old story that has already been told through cinema numerous times before. The last time H.G. Wells’ 1897 novel The Invisible Man had been adapted by Hollywood was in 2000’s Hollow Man, which was panned by critics despite making a sizeable profit. The 2020 adaptation is far superior and is perhaps the best adaptation of Wells’ classic in any medium. Elizabeth Moss gives a stellar performance that draws real emotion, so that we agonize alongside her as she is essentially haunted by a relentless ghost hellbent on controlling every aspect of her life. We live in an era when technology has advanced enough to bring this 124-year-old story to life like never before, while a polished script and an exceptional lead performance gives The Invisible Man a deeper level of emotion and terror.

#5/ Saint Maud:

For most of Saint Maud it is unclear whether certain experiences are actually happening in reality for the main character or if it’s all simply in her head, as some sort of mental breakdown caused by a work-related tragedy. Maud is a young hospice nurse and a newly-converted Roman Catholic who suddenly becomes obsessed with “saving the soul” of the woman she is currently taking care of, Amanda, a hedonistic dancer with a chronic illness. Maud’s behaviour worsens, as does her mental state, as horrific scenes and visions make us question if she’s actually losing her mind or experiencing something beyond this world. Saint Maud is an A24 feature by the way, so that should be enough to know what you’re getting here in terms of quality.

#4/ The Lodge:

Isolation is often embraced as a way to pad a horror film’s fear factor, and it works especially here in The Lodge, as a soon-to-be stepmom becomes stranded at a remote holiday home in the middle of winter with her fiance’s two children. The kids begin to untangle the dark past of their stepmom-to-be and a series of disturbing events transpire as their hope for survival fades. The Lodge is a dreary, atmospheric slow burn that leaves you somewhat unsettled. With its wintry backdrop, stylish sequences, and almost claustrophobic dread, the film doesn’t ever allow its audience to feel at ease for long, insisting that an underlying foreboding remain intact throughout. Although I found the ending somewhat disappointing, I immediately began to concoct a possible prequel that would delve into the backstory of the film’s lead character. One can hope.

#3/ Host:

It’s increasingly difficult to be innovative and original when it comes to horror films these days, especially in the particular genre of so-called “found footage.” Rob Savage’s Host, however, comes off as something different, setting itself apart from most films in this realm in various ways. It centers around six friends who hold a séance via Zoom during a COVID lockdown, guided (at first) by a medium they hired. The séance then takes a dark turn and things soon escalate into madness. Sure, there are elements in Host that are prevalent in numerous horror films, but it uses a modern and topical way to implement them, while also refusing to overstay its welcome by cueing the credits less than an hour in. Overall, this film’s popcorn-and-Saturday-night-movie fun factor is why it ranks so high on this list.

#2/ Possessor:

It’s always a treat to come across an original idea, especially when it’s within the horror realm, and Possessor is certainly unlike anything else I’ve seen in awhile. Andrea Riseborough plays an elite corporate assassin who uses brain-implant technology to take control over other people’s bodies in order to kill high profile targets, though with every mission she gets further and further away from her true self. With her latest possession, she becomes trapped in the mind of a man who threatens to obliterate her for good. It is a provocative vision by director-writer Brandon Cronenberg, who just so happens to be the son of legendary Canadian filmmaker David Cronenberg, and it serves as a disturbing piece of dystopian fiction that is even more frightening because it isn’t too far beyond belief.

And because everyone else is doing it, here are five honorable mentions that narrowly missed the list:

- The Call

- Color Out of Space

- Don’t Listen

- The Mortuary Collection

- Porno

#1/ His House:

In addition to its emotional storytelling and genuine moments of terror, His House – from first-time director Remi Weekes – sheds a light on the plight of refugees in a way that feels both respectful and empathetic. After a Sudanese couple make a harrowing escape from their war-torn homeland, they are granted asylum in England, where they struggle to adjust and fit in. They are assigned a shabby house on the outskirts of London, where the couple begin to experience terrifying and unexplainable events. His House is built around a fresh concept, two fantastic leads, and some truly haunting imagery, and I wish that more horror directors would put as much effort into quality filmmaking as Weekes did here. If this is his first venture into feature filmmaking, I am excited to see what his future has in store.

There you have it, my Top 10 favourite horror films of 2020. What did you think and were any of these titles on your own Top 10 list? Please tell me your thoughts and recommendations in the comments below.

youtube

#ihearthorror moviereviews horrormovies Top10horror bestof2020 horrormovies2020 bestofhorror2020

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purplesurveys · 3 years

Text

1149

What is your age? 22, but there’s less than a month to go before I turn 23.

What annoys you? Literally every single person who still supports the government at this point. For context, we are back to square one and we’re under the exact same quarantine imposed in March 2020 because of the surge in cases. Nothing has changed and nothing has been done in the last 365 days while people are getting hungrier and poorer. I’m done feeling hopeful for this country and I cannot wait to abandon it forever.

Do you have any allergies? Apparently, grass. Can’t be exposed to it for too long otherwise the skin on my thighs turn red and occasionally even get rashes.

Do you know anyone named Billy? Kind of, but they’re girls with their name spelled as Billie.

When is your birthday? April 21st and spending it in quarantine once again this year...

Who is your best friend(s)? Angela and Andi.

What's your favorite candy? I like gummy bears and worms. As for sweets, I really like Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Butterfinger, Twix, and the Hershey’s Cookies and Creme bar.

When was the last time you cried? Maybe a day or two ago while watching a snippet from Caught in Providence.

Have you been out of the country? Yes.

Do you daydream? Not so much these days. I’ve been better at keeping my focus at work.

What's your favorite kind of dog? I love alllllll dogs, but I’d usually be wary of smaller dogs because 87% of the times I’ve met some, they’re aggressive or a bit moody. I don’t like stereotyping dogs as much as possible but because I’ve had direct experiences to back it up anyway, *shrug*

What day of the week is it? It’s a Sunday.

How do you like your eggs? Scrambled, poached, or an omelette with lots of fillings. Balut is also great.

Have you ever been in the emergency room? Only when I was born, I’m guessing.

What's the easiest thing ever to do? Idk, what comes easy to me might not be the same for others. But my answer would be to smile, regardless if it were genuine or otherwise.

Have you ever flown in a plane? Yeah, many times. The child-like excitement I get whenever I get on one will probably never go away, either.

Do you use fly swatters? No, my mom usually uses old shoebox covers or rolled-up scratch papers we have lying around to swat them.

Have you ever used a foghorn?: Only in video games lol, never in real life.

Have you pet a goat? I don’t think I have. I’ve pet lots of animals before but I don’t think a goat has been one of them yet.

Are you a giver or a taker? Giver, but I’ve been allowing myself to take more these days.

Do you like gummy candies? Love them.

How are you? We’ve entered summer weather now, so I feel hot and miserable. It’s also Sunday and I am stuck at home, which doesn’t make me the happiest camper.

What's your height? 5′1″ or a tiny tiny tiny bit taller than that.

What color is your hair? It’s black but on extremely rare occasions I’ll catch a single light brown strand when I play with my hair.

What's your favorite ice cream? Cookies and cream and chocolate chip cookie dough. My friend Leigh actually started her own ice cream shop recently and I bought her coffee crumble ice cream, and it is sooooooooo fuckinggggggggg good??????? It’s so rare to find coffee ice cream where I live period, so I’m fucking stoked to have a close friend who makes literally the best one and in generous servings too.

Have you ever ice skated? Many times as a kid. I was never formally trained, but it was something I wanted to try from watching other kids play in mall ice skating rinks; and when I did give it a shot, I ended up enjoying it. Luckily my mom was encouraging and actually frequently dropped me off at a rink so I can practice gliding and all for a few hours while she ran errands.

Have you cheated the IRS? That’s like an American tax thingy, right? We don’t have that here and my employer handles my TIN.

What's your favorite jelly bean? Not a big fan but if I had to have Jelly Belly, I obviously would want to get the pleasant-tasting ones.

Do you tell jokes? Yes.

Do you wear nice jewelry? Only on special occasions.

Do you want to kill anybody? I don’t want to kill anybody but I certainly wish a good number of public officials would finally die.

Do you want to have kids? Yes. I really wish I could still have a future with them. Thanks for the trauma, my real asshole of an ex.

Where did you have kindergarten? Somewhere.

Are you laidback? I doubt my friends would use this to describe me. I for sure lean more towards the uptight side of the spectrum.

Do you lie? Eh, occasionally.

When is the last time you sent a hand-written letter? I have no idea. Christmas 2019 maybe?

Ever talked in a microphone? Sure. Many times.

Do you still watch Disney Movies? I very rarely get in the mood for them if I’m by myself, but yes, I’d gladly sit down and watch should an opportunity come.

Do you like mangoes? No.

Do you have a nickname? 99% of people call me Robyn while my family calls me Byn, but there are a select few friends who’ve stayed long enough with me to catch other names I’ve gotten over the years, which have since become inside jokes/nicknames. There’s Reben and Rolayn, and literally just yesterday ‘Roby’ happened when I ordered food for lunch so that will probably catch on as well.

What’s your favorite number? 4.

Do you prefer night over day? Absolutely.

Are you an only child? No, I’m two siblings away from that status.

Do you wish this was over? I haven’t felt that way, no.

What is the closet orange object near you? An orange tumbler my Kuya gave me as a Christmas gift in 2019. There is also orange tape wrapped around the charger adaptor of my company laptop.

What one fear are you most paranoid about? Waking up in the middle of surgery and being unable to speak nor move.

Do you play any instruments? Nope.

Do you think you are pretty? Some days.

Are you quick to judge people? No, unless they are already blatantly showing their character like being rude towards service staff, tossing their trash to the ground, or cutting in queues. Whenever those things happen I give myself the space and freedom to guiltlessly judge.

What do you keep quiet about? How dysfunctional my family really is, and the things I really want to say about Gabie.

Do you have any quirks? Food-wise, I like peeling off the breading from fried chicken and placing them on the side of my plate so I can eat them last, because they’re my favorite part.

What’s a good reason to cry? Frustration. Crying can be really helpful in lessening stress.

Do you think you're always right? No.

Do you watch reality TV? Not religiously, but I love watching snippets of reality shows on Facebook because they’re all so embarrassing and it’s hilarious to watch hahahahah. Literally last night I was watching clips of Big Ed on 90 Day Fiance.

Are you a social person? More so now than I was years ago.

What states have you lived in? I lived in Manila briefly but it didn’t take long till we transferred to another city for a more peaceful life in the suburbs.

What is your favorite season? I wanna say winter because of what I’ve seen from it in movies and shows, but I’ve never actually experienced it before.

When did you last sleep in a tent? Sometime in March or April last year.

Do you like tomatoes? Mostly in diced form. Tomato sauce is fine but I don’t really like it in my pasta. Bloody Mary also tastes rather awful.

What time did you wake up? 8:30 AM.

Do you have an umbrella in your car? I think so, yeah. I finally placed one in there lmao.

Do listen to Usher? Eh, not really. 2000s R&B isn’t my thing, save for Beyoncé.

Describe the underwear your wearing? It’s light blue.

What’s the worst veggie? I never learned to like pechay. I’d still eat it, but only because I like cleaning up my entire plate.

Do you like movies with violence? Some. Like I hate action movies but I enjoyed A Clockwork Orange and Scream lol.

Where do you want to go on vacation? I recently bookmarked an Airbnb in Zambales and the accommodation is basically this super cute line of tipi-styled huts by the beach. I'd love to have a solo trip push through once this Covid mess subsides.

Ever been on a wave runner? No.

Where do you work? I work in a PR company.

Do you wish on stars? Just sometimes.

Have you ever had an x-ray? Only for mandatory medical exams.

Do you own a xylophone? I think I had a toy one as a kid, but it’s not with me anymore.

Have you watched the x-games? No, not interested.

What did you do yesterday? I stayed at home; ordered food for Angela as a surprise; debated if I should buy a pair of Air Maxes – and ultimately decided I’ve already spent too much this month to deserve a new pair of shows lol; and just settled to buy a new night lamp for my bedroom. I also watched the newest episode of 2 Days 1 Night and ate more of Leigh’s ice cream while doing work.

Do you like the color yellow? Only in mustard yellow. I also like the song Yellow, heh.

What year were you born?: 1998.

Do you believe in the zodiac? No.

Has your bank account been at zero? No. I remember when I was first opening my own account at the bank and the clerk told me to make sure I don’t go below P2,000, and my intensely by-the-book ass has been following the rule ever since, even though my dad has told me it’s absolutely fine to go below it so long as I have P2,000 back in the account after a month hahaha.

Ever been to the zoo? A few.

#survey #surveys

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bigskydreaming · 4 years

Text

Lilith Clay is one of those characters that I never ever would actually want to be friends with, because she would be EXHAUSTING.

But as a reader? I adore her, because she is amazing and when allowed to be, hilariously entertaining.

For the record, I have been maintaining for decades....forget your headcanons about Donna being like a big sister to Jason in his Robin years, or all the back and forth about Kory and Roy as Jason’s friends now instead of Dick’s.

No. The true potential....and the true danger....has always been if Lilith had decided to take Jason under her wing.

(On a whim, no doubt, as that’s how she decides most things. including whether or not she feels like getting up and superheroing today or if she’s going to just sleep through the alarm indicating intruders in the Tower and trust the others to handle it. Like if they can’t, they’re probably all going to be killed by the intruders anyway, whether she’s in bed or out of it, and no one’s going to care at that point. Whereas if she doesn’t get at least three more hours of sleep, she’s going to be cranky all day and she absolutely will take it out on everyone. So really, trusting in her friends’ capabilities and ensuring she’s not a cranky bitch at them all day after they’ve just fought off intruders in their own home - when you think about it, really, isn’t this the most noble choice available to her right now?

Welcome to the mind of Lilith.)

So yes, I maintain the real Titan to worry about Jason catching the attention of, is and always was....Lilith.

Like, the very first time Dick brought Jason to the Tower and introduced him to everyone, it would have been perfectly in character for her to wander into the room deliberately late, managing to somehow look like she was gliding, because she practices that the same way the Batfamily practices walking without making noise. And then ignore everyone else and just zero in on Jason, point a finger straight at him, and intone in the same ringing inflections she uses to tell the team she’s had a vision about the end of the world:

Lilith: Him. I see his potential, just waiting to be unlocked. The Bat knows not what he has there, but I will mold this young man like the Clay from which I take my name, and he will be. A legend.

Jason: ....huh?

Dick, throwing up his arms: This! This is why I didn’t want to bring Jason to the tower. This is exactly what I was afraid of. Bruce just thought I was being a jerk because I’m mad about the Robin thing still, or that I was just being possessive of my team but no. I KNEW putting the two of you in the same room was a bad idea, and it was going to bite me in the ass big time. I even told Donna this was going to happen.

Donna: Its true, he did. I can confirm.

Lilith: Look, Dick, I just really really think he has a lot of potential and there’s a lot I can teach him and I promise I’ll be super careful with him and I won’t break him...

Dick: See, its the fact that you think “I won’t break him” is a legitimate reassurance to make about being around a thirteen year old that concerns me. Along with fifteen million other things.

Lilith: Ugh. Fine. Well if you’re gonna be a little bitch about it, I might as well tell you I’ve seen a great calamity coming, and he’s going to play an important role in it and only I can make sure he’s prepared in the way he has to be, or it could mean the end of everything! Now is not the time to be all Neurotically Overprotective Bat Big Brother, Dick, the fate of the world is at stake!

Dick: Well when you put it that way....I don’t believe you.

Lilith: Great, so now you’re calling me a liar?

Wally: You lie all the time, Lil. Just last week you told me I was going to die before the end of the year because you were mad I recorded over your Real Housewives on the DVR.

Lilith: Stay out of this Wally or I’ll prove myself right.

Dick: Nooooot helping your case, Lil.

Lilith: Okay fine, but I only lie about stuff I don’t care about. This is obviously different!

Jason unobtrusively sidles over to Garth, whose usual calm face alongside the chaotic back and forths of his teammates makes him stand out as the clear island of sanity in the room.

I mean, Jason’s totally wrong on that count, Garth’s as ridiculous as the rest of the OG Titans and Lilith. He just has a really great poker face.

Jason: I think I just figured out why Dick labeled the bottle of Ibuprofen in his bathroom “Lilith Pills.” So is this like...should I be worried about her uttering some Chosen One prophecy sounding shit, or is she just full of shit like Dick’s saying?

Garth, considering the matter gravely, so as not to give Jason the wrong idea. Just. Its hard to know what would be the wrong idea here.

Garth: The problem is, with Lilith, those things aren’t as mutually exclusive as one might hope.

Jason: Oh. So she might be for real? I knew one of Dick’s teammates was a psychic and had visions sometimes, but Bruce’s face did that twisty thing when he mentioned that. Like, where he looks like he just took a shot of some bad vodka and that means he doesn’t believe someone’s for real but he can’t prove it. But also, sometimes he only looks like that because he just doesn’t like that someone’s for real and he can’t prove otherwise.

Garth: Good eye. If you’ve picked up on that already, you’re clearly insightful. That’s very good. You’ll need it, in this place. And yes, Lilith is legitimately a precognitive and does have visions of the future sometimes. Its just...

Jason: Its just what?

Garth squeezing out the words reluctantly because he doesn’t like speaking ill of his teammates, even though Lilith absolutely knows her own reputation and sculpted it with zeal as she says remaining unpredictable is the key to never being taken for granted...

Garth: Its just that Lilith is a bit like Cassandra of Troy....if Cassandra had prophesied the Trojan War and nobody believed her but the reason was not because of some divine curse, but because Cassandra had a bad habit of saying things like “We should invade Greece first or else they’re going to invade us,” because she was bored.

Jason: ...gotcha.

Garth: And I’m not saying Lil is....I don’t mean she does it on that kind of scale....so much as just...an example of that kind of thing. So to speak.

Jason: So listen to everything Lilith says, but take everything she says with several grains of salt, and as soon as you’ve got some free time, maybe examine those grains of salt under a high-powered microscope just to be on the safe side.

Garth: Exactly. Congratulations, you’re now as prepared to survive Lilith as anyone can be.

Jason: Survive, huh?

Garth: We’re all still kind of hoping she’ll grow into being responsible with her powers while accepting this might just be her version of being responsible with her powers.

Jason: I am maybe no longer as jealous of Dick being the leader of his own team.

Garth: Hey, then you’ve already got your big brother beat. It took us three years before he’d admit regretting he ever volunteered to be team leader.

Anywho....

Buckle in, because I’m in a Lilith mood this week, so am gonna get lengthy about her and her appeal as a character to me, lol.

Like, the first thing you gotta understand about Lilith, is she is the uncontested reigning queen of drama. And don’t even try and come for her crown. She will destroy you. Dramatically.

This is a woman who repeatedly makes herself costumes that have a full on cloak - not a cape, but a CLOAK - so that when she flares it dramatically, its not like a sheet of fabric that’s normally hanging from her back but now swishes around her front, no, she’s got a full on CLOAK that when it flares dramatically, the whole damn thing is moving and swishing and flying every which way.

And because that isn’t enough, she also makes a point to have a hood - and not just a cast shadows covering your face hood, a full on DROWN EVERYTHING WITHIN THAT HOOD IN TOTAL DARKNESS Hood. The kind of Aesthetic that doesn’t just happen naturally with hoods. You have to have that shit custom made.

And does she need this hood for any particular reason? Is her secret identity super top secret? No. It is not. She barely ever even has one. Her civilian name is no big deal if it gets out.

Look, she just really needs the hood, okay.

And sure, one time she came back after being away from the Titans for a few years, and pretended to be a complete stranger who didn’t identify herself as ‘your old pal Lilith” and refused to divulge any personal details, or like....go anywhere without her full cloak and hood identity-shrouding regalia.

And did she need to hide her identity and be super secret hush hush for any particular reason? No, she did not.

Look, she just really didn’t want to tell anybody who she was, cuz then it’d be a whole thing and everyone would be like omg where have you been, tell us everything, and can’t a girl just wanna fight bad guys and save the world and just show up and then clock out and keep it professional? Like, she was just having that kind of a week, is all.

If that week lasted about two years, well that’s the calendar’s fault, not hers.

This is a woman whose base powerset has always been telepathy with a side of apocalyptic visions, but beyond that has gained additional powers at various points over the years.

Like telekinesis. Which she legit, literally had, spelled out definitively in canon as an ability of hers, which she had and could use.

But that she only ever used to levitate.

Thus allowing her to hover. Dramatically. In her cloak and hood. At all times. For no reason.

To be perfectly, abundantly clear: she could fly, but did she fly? Nah. Instead she’s like “is it not enough to just use one’s telekinesis to merely hover in place above everyone else? Dramatically?”

Or teleportation. That was another power she acquired randomly at one point. Mostly inexplicably.

And which she only ever used to teleport into a crowded room so she could impart Urgent Tidings of DOOM. Or to teleport out of a crowded room when people got a little too noisy with the whole “can you give us any more details? A time frame, a context, a guest list for this particular doomsday?” She’s like, look, I just had the vision, its not like I took notes, I’m not some kind of nerd. UGH.

And then dramatically teleporting out of the room with a dramatic swirl of her dramatic cloak.

There were hardly any limitations given for her teleportation, given that there was hardly any context ever given for her teleportation, but there was no sign of any particular limit to how far she could teleport or if she could take anyone with her.

Was this ever explored as a possible advantage for the whole team to make use of in some way? No. But given that its Lilith, its actually NOT a plothole that noted strategist and master tactician Dick Grayson at no point is ever shown asking Lil if they could try seeing if she could teleport with someone else.

See, because Lilith doesn’t LIKE when people know exactly what she can do.

Because then they have the pesky habit of like....asking her to do them.

That, she does not care for.

So those conversations would probably have gone something like this.

Dick: Lilith, do you think you could teleport with someone else? If you could teleport the whole team, that would be very useful to know.

Lilith: So what is it about me, exactly, that makes you look at me and think: this is a soccer mom van? Is it my hair? My posture? Or do I just give off a certain vibe?

Dick: That wasn’t....*sigh* Never mind.

Or....

Dick: Lilith, do you think you could teleport from the Tower here to Gotham?

Lilith: I’m sorry, do I work for you? Am I getting paid? No, no and no to the power of I’m trying to take a nap here. You can take an actual cab home like any normal person, I do not come in shades of yellow and I never go beep-beep.

Dick: I wasn’t asking you to...look, I’m purely trying to establish a baseline for your teleportation.

Lilith: And I’m purely trying to establish a hard line for respecting my right to privacy. You don’t need to know every little thing about me and my powers just so you can jot that down in your little Bat Trapper-Keeper notebook where you anally note every other thing nobody actually needs to know, like a record of your poops.

Dick: I don’t do that....no. Nope. Not doing this.

Lilith: Well is there a reason you’re keeping me from sleeping then? Some of us actually need a certain number of hours of rest to function. We don’t all hang upside down in coffins once a week while our Bat-butler tops off our tanks with IVs of blood.

Dick: Its the middle of the day, you’re in the common room, and you’ve been watching a Real Housewives marathon for the last four hours.

Lilith: Oh, so now you’ve been spying on me this whole time? Where does it end, Dick? Where. Does. It. End.

Dick: Never mind. I just realized I’m not getting paid for this either. I’m gonna go do something productive, like bang my head against a wall.

And then he’d leave while regretting everything, and Lilith would settle back onto the couch smirking because she’s not actually a terrible person and refrains from doing shit like that in actual high stakes situations, but at any other time, successfully running out the clock on Dick Grayson’s Bat-tier patience is like, Peak Entertainment in her book. Wally meanwhile has been sitting on the couch unacknowledged the whole time.

Wally: Why are you like this.

Lilith *shrugging*: I blame my mother.

Wally: You don’t even know who your parents are.

Lilith: Way to rub it in, West! You wanna go? Huh?

Or one more for good measure....

The Titans could be in the middle of a battle far enough away from the Tower they had to take their jet to get there....and out of nowhere, Lilith would teleport in mid-battle, hovering just overhead, and conveniently appearing right between Roy and a villain who’d been sneaking up on him but now was stumbling back in shock and then is backhanded through a building all the way on the other side of the street by Donna, who also only noticed him when Lilith’s arrival drew everyone’s attention there.

Lilith to Roy, whilst hovering (dramatically): I just saved your life there. You’re welcome. You owe me now, but in a few years you’re going to have a super hot brother and if you get him to go out with me, I’ll call us even.

Roy: ....I don’t know what to do with that.

Lilith: There’s a good chance he’s gay, but he could just as easily be bi. Hard to say. The spirits aren’t big on outing people years ahead of schedule.

Roy: Yeah that doesn’t help any.

Lilith: That sounds like a you problem then. Well, my work here is done.

Lilith then proceeds to teleport away. The battle is not actually over yet.

And then of course, we can’t forget that time she got light and fire powers.

Which.

I feel like by this point, I probably don’t have to spell out the hazards of pyrokinetic Lilith.

That of course, led to what at the time was thought to be the culmination of Lilith’s lifelong quest to figure out where she came from and who her parents were.

Because of course Lilith’s backstory has to be as dramatic as everything else about her, this quest took the whole team to Mt. Olympus itself.

Where it was established that Lilith’s development of light and fire abilities were because she was finally coming into her true power...as the daughter of one of the Titans of old....the Titaness of the sun, who had conceived Lilith as a weapon she intended to use to kill all the Olympian gods so she and the other Titans could reclaim their thrones.

Y’know. As one does. Some parents have kids to continue the family name, some for the tax breaks, and some to assassinate their other kids, the Greek gods. No big deal.

Anyway. There is a case to be made that ridiculously high parental expectations are a big part of why Lilith is Like That.

Granted, she was Like That long before she even knew who these parents were, let alone their expectations, but perhaps parental expectations this ridiculously high transcend the usual ordering of time and space. Who can say, really.

Of course, despite how dramatic and difficult Lilith can be at times, and the zeal with which she occasionally torments others whose only real crime was Existing Within Her Vicinity And Thus Totally A Valid Target....

Like, her heart has always always always been in the right place. She is a hero through and through, and has never wavered from doing the right thing when it really matters, or protecting people.

So needless to say, she wasn’t exactly on board with her long lost mom’s life plan for her. Even if that argument did veer more towards “You made me grow up on Earth and think you still get a vote in how I live my life? Hah! Do you have any idea how much Earth sucks?”

Her teammates, who all live on Earth: Hey!

Lilith: What? Oh shut up, you all know its true. Don’t @ me, I’m right.

(Another missed opportunity that I maintain would be perfectly in character for her...I like to imagine that Lilith’s visions sometimes let her glimpse memes and pop culture references years before they become a thing, and so she’s always making references no one else gets and when they call her on it, she insists they’ll get it someday, its not her fault she’s a trend precursor rather than a follower. And of course, the references she makes are only actual memes from the future some of the time. The other times she’s just pulling them out of her ass to see if she can get them to catch on with anyone).

Anyway, Lilith’s overbearing mom, who absolutely is one hundred percent the source of her daughter’s Drama, if that is at all something that can be passed down as a hereditary trait....of course tries to make Lilith play ball.

Dick, flopping down right on the spot, wishing he had popcorn: Oh my god, someone who isn’t me trying to get Lil to do what they want her to do and with not a chance in hell of succeeding. You have no idea how long I have waited for this moment. Nobody talk during the movie, I need to savor every second of this.

Of course, everyone who’s ever been in a room with Lilith already knew how that movie was going to end, so ultimately Lilith’s evil Titan mom and her nefarious plots were defeated by her daughter’s Obstinacy.

That didn’t mean, however, that repercussions of Lilith’s newly revealed origins didn’t linger.

Dramatically.

Lilith: Anyway, so that’s what I think we should do next. So hop to it, Titans! Let’s get a move on.

The rest of the Titans sit around their living room eating breakfast and watching the TV and just in general not budging.

Wally: And you suddenly think you’re in charge because...why? Exactly?

Lilith: Our team is the Titans? I am an actual Titan? It’s literally right there in the name. C’mon, Wally, look alive. Irony isn’t a good enough reason for you to be this slow on the uptake.

Wally: Anyone else wanna field this one?

Roy: Lil, don’t take this the wrong way, because I love you to pieces despite your lifelong commitment to playing Devil’s Advocate on behalf of all the reasons we shouldn’t....

Garth: Great start Roy.

Roy: But the day you’re calling the shots around here is the day I tender my resignation and leave a Roy-shaped hole in the wall as I flee and seek sanctuary with the JSA, the JLA, the Green Lantern Corps....hell, even Bruce.

Lilith: How dare you say such things to me, a celestial being.

Dick: Lil, in the interest of saving time and getting you to move so I can actually see the TV, now would be a perfect occasion to look into the future and see what the chances are of us actually putting you in charge.

Lilith, flopping down on the couch: Oh never mind, I already knew that, and its not like I even actually want the stupid job anyway. Look how grumpy it makes you, and you have way more patience than I do. I just wanted to see how far I could push it. I’m booooooored.

Garth: You do know our TV is rigged to get reception from even other planets, right? We can watch pretty much any entertainment program in the galaxy with this thing.

Lilith: Yes, but none of them have me, so its like, what’s the point, y’know?

Wally: Well do you mind letting us keep watching it at least? We do have lower standards, after all.

Lilith: Fine, whatever. I’ll just...exist, I guess.

Two minutes later...

Lilith: Hey, Donna’s an Amazon and I’m a Titan so that still makes me Donna’s boss at least, right?

All of them, in unison: NO.

And then of course, ultimately it was revealed that all of that backstory was a lie and Lilith’s real parents are both normal humans and she’s just a psychic.

Wally: You mean we went through all of that for nothing? And put up with Lil lording being a demigoddess over us for years?

Lilith: Hey, you still got a free all expenses paid trip to Mt. Olympus out of it, so you’re welcome, and you still owe me. Don’t make me sabotage your meet-cute with the woman you’re gonna marry. I’ll do it. I’ll do it so hard, she’ll think she’s allergic to you.

Wally: ...wait, does that mean I’m not going to marry Frances?

Donna: Oh Wally. You didn’t really ever think you were going to marry Frances, did you?

Wally: No, I guess not. She never really clicked with the rest of you, and to be honest I don’t think any of us would ever work out with someone who didn’t get along with the group.

Donna: ....that was a dig at me, wasn’t it.

Wally: What? No! I swear. I literally just forgot Terry existed for a second there.

Roy: Lucky bitch.

Yes. Lilith wears the title of Drama Queen with PRIDE. Its the entire basis of her claim to being royalty, after all, and no, that’s not at all how that works either, but do you want to try telling that to the woman who can and will get the Lamb Chop’s sing along song stuck in your head until it drives you insane?

One does not simply cross Lilith and get away with it, much in the same way as one does not simply walk into Mordor.

No, one should stock up on Plot Armor, magic rings and immortal wizard companions before even making the attempt, expect to be spotted by the all-seeing, all-knowing Eye of Sauron Lilith from the moment you even try and pull some fuckwittery within her domain, and make peace with the 90% chance this will ultimately all end in a slow motion fall to a fiery demise in a volcano with a super ominous name anyway.

Like, speaking of ominous, let’s note the fact that this is a woman whose psychic powers are at best 10% precognition, comparative to their being 90% telepathy. When picking the only codename she’s ever used, did she decide to go with something that focused on the majority shareholder of her powerset, her status as one of the most powerful telepaths in the DC universe? Something like Esper or Psyche or Brainstorm or like, idek, Sir Thinks-A-Lot?

No. No she did not.

Instead she went with Omen.

(And even that was probably only because the other Titans wouldn’t let her just flat out call herself something with Doom right in the name, on the grounds that would make most people assume she was a supervillain. To which she probably replied something like “Well that’s because most people are dumb and that’s why I don’t like most of them. Why am I even a superhero again?” She’d frame it like a real question she was asking, fully expecting an answer, but then she’d wander off while they were still trying to come up with a response to that because she’s bored now and also she doesn’t really care. Being a hero for her wasn’t always a vocation or calling like it was for the other Titans. It was more like she figured “Eh, I have superpowers and no other major life ambitions, might as well be a superhero. I guess.”)

So yeah, screw the telepathy, she’s like, “Call me Omen.”

An omen for whom, people often want to know? Just how exactly is that name meant to be taken? Is she an omen for the people the Titans try and protect, meant as an aid, to help avert some terrible fate that would otherwise befall them? Or is it meant as like, she’s an omen of doom for the bad guys they fight, a forewarning that thirty seconds from now, the Titans will be kicking their asses?

Or maybe its meant to indicate she’s an omen as to the fate of the world, and her career as a superhero is really her attempt to avert one of the terrible apocalypses she foretells every time she pops back up after a superhero sabbatical and says “Hello, valued friends and comrades. Tis I, the unfortunate bearer of grim tidings. The fate of the world once more rests in our hands, and if we are to have any hope of saving it, we gotta take a road trip. I call shotgun.”

Donna: “You know Lil, you don’t actually have to show up with an apocalypse we have to avert, whenever you get bored or lonely and want back on the team again. You could just say hey guys, I’m back, what’s for dinner.”

Lilith: Wow Donna, I guess you don’t care about the fate of all humanity, since I am trying to prophesy here and you’re totally killing the ambiance and its ticking the spirit world off and messing with my connection to it.

Donna: You don’t have a connection to any spirit world, you drama queen. You’re a psychic who has precognitive dreams sometimes which means whatever you came here to warn us about, you already saw and definitely won’t have an update until you, y’know. Go to sleep again.

Lilith: Umm, excuse you Miss Know It All, that’s not even remotely how my visions work.

Donna; That’s literally what you told us about how they worked.

Lilith: Well I was lying, obviously.

Donna: Why would you have lied?

Lilith: Because I do that sometimes. Are we really at all unclear on that by this point?

Donna: Right. And, you do that, why again?

Lilith: I don’t know, Donna. There you go again, always expecting me to have an answer to every single one of life’s little mysteries. Maybe some things just aren’t meant to be understood, did you ever consider that? Like, why is Dick so inexplicably drawn to redheads and yet he’s never once hit on me, a Known Redhead? If a tree falls in the forest and nobody’s around to hear it, does anybody honestly care? God, is the universe allowed to keep a little of its mystique? Is that okay with everyone?

Dick: If I could cut in for a second. Lil, just to clarify, you’re not lying about this apocalyptic vision for any mysterious reason that’s of course, undoubtedly beyond our ken. Correct?

Lilith: Obviously. I never lie about the end of the world, Dick.

Dick: Great. And just for clarity’s sake, the difference there, that makes that a no-lie zone would be....

Lilith: These end of the world situations always end up involving a lot of work for me, and would I do that much work for anything less than the end of the world?

Wally: Yeah that checks out.

Lilith: You’re going to ski straight off a cliff and win a Darwin Award for how stupid your death is.

Wally: Hah hah, joke’s on you, you already tried using that one on me and I’ve made my peace with it.

Lilith: Dammit.

Dick: Okay. And since we just established you’ve made up so many fake deaths for Wally over the years that you’re actually recycling old ones at this point, I gotta ask, one more time, just for complete clarity....so the intel about your vision is one hundred percent down to the letter accurate, to the best of your recollection?

Lilith: Oh. Well if you’re going to be technical about it, I might have embellished a little here and there. But that’s just about the aesthetic.

Dick: ....the aesthetic?

Lilith: Just because Destiny decided to make me its glorified secretary and insists on me reading off the minutes of each and every celestial meeting about “Should we end all existence yet, yay or nay,” that doesn’t mean I have to be boring about it.

Dick: I miss your fake mom.

235 notes · View notes

gwoongi · 5 years

Text

acts of love

bts / reader, all members / reader genre: best friends au, fluff + crack rating: general words: 9.6k warnings: platonic relationships, smoking, so much fluff you might need to book an appointment with ur dentist for tomorrow morning ASAP a/n: if u want 2 be bts’ best friend, raise ur hand *thousands of hands raise*. this fic fuels my genuine need to be their bff. i saw this post last night + wrote this immediately. hope u love it like i do :D

➸ As long as you’ve got a good group of friends, anything is possible. Thankfully, you’ve got the best group you could ever ask for.

(01) taking pics of ur friends without them asking u to bc they looked so pretty in that exact moment

“Well, at least the views not so bad. Honestly, I thought it would be a lot worse.”

Beside you, at the top of the bleachers that surround the large football pitch below, Taehyung huffs and kicks his feet up onto the empty row in front of him. It would be easy to just move rows, considering the game’s due to start in ten minutes time, and there’s plenty of empty seats closer. But, he’s bought these seats, and by the looks of things, Yoongi and Hoseok are already comfortable where they are, sharing a big bag of sticky popcorn between them. Casting a look to the right, you notice that Sana and Seunghee are making their way up, dressed in jerseys and caps, and you suddenly feel very out of place.

“Tell me why I came again?” you ask, not looking away from the pitch below. The grass is bright green, and every wandering body down on the pitch is just a small speck.

“Because,” Taehyung starts, unlocking his phone and checking his messages. You snoop- one missed text from Jeongguk and two off his Mom, which makes you smile. Taehyung’s always been a Mommy’s boy. “You love me, and you know that I worked my ass off for two whole months saving up for these tickets. And, since Jimin’s sick and couldn’t come, you decided to be a good friend and take his place.”

With a frown, you look back towards Taehyung. “I don’t know shit about football.”

“Cheer when we do,” Taehyung suggests honestly.

Yoongi perks up, patting your arm roughly. “Do what I do, and cheer for the team with the prettier uniform.”

“Don’t!” Taehyung hisses, grabbing you back. “The other team have a prettier uniform, but if you cheer for them on this side of the stadium, you’re going to get mobbed. Hey, Yoongi, don’t tell her that, she doesn’t know any better.”

“Just football,” Yoongi shrugs.

“Just football…” Taehyung scoffs and shrinks back down in his seat.

You laugh quietly, petting Taehyung’s leg with faux sympathy. As you move your body to glance around the stadium, strangely anticipating the start of the match, a flash out the corner of your eye makes you look over in Hoseok’s general direction. Hoseok holds his phone up, taking a photo, and then smiles as he checks it on the screen.

“Jung Hoseok, delete it now!” you gape, realising what he’s done. “Oh my God, I bet I look so ugly...you could have warned me.”

“Sorry,” he laughs sheepishly. He then shows you the screen, “you looked pretty! And it’s your first live match ever, we had to document it. Yoongi, look. Wow...I’m sending this to Jimin for proof that you’re having fun.”

“What if I’m not having fun?” you ask.

He glances up, “you are.”

Well. If he says so.

(02) randomly giving tiny gifts (a comic book that ur friend likes, a heart-shaped piece of paper with a sweet message on it)

“Can anybody here share the exact chemistry behind Elephant Toothpaste?”

Chemistry is the absolute bane of your life. It’s only been a few weeks, and you’re already regretting taking additional classes in it. Technically, it was Jimin’s fault you were here in the first place. If it wasn’t for the fact that Jimin was afraid of enrolling into classes alone and therefore had guilted you into taking advanced chemistry with him, then you wouldn’t be here. You sigh for the fourth time in the last ten minutes and shove your chin into the palm of your hand. The clock above Professor Han’s head seems to be still, taunting you with zero movements.

Can boredom kill you? You wonder about that, letting your mind wander as Professor Han continues to quiz the front two rows on the exact chemical formula of the affectionately named Elephant Toothpaste. You’re so close to finding the answer when you feel somebody poking your upper arm. The finger that pokes belongs to Jimin, and you angle your head to look at him with a questioning glare.

Jimin smiles, his hair falling into his face. Like you, he rolled out of bed this morning and tried his best to look semi-presentable; if you counted borderline pajama wear and a serious case of bed-head to be presentable and acceptable for a 9am lecture. Jimin says nothing, just smiles and pushes something towards you with two fingers. The sound of the paper sliding towards you brings your gaze down, and as you look away to stare at it, Jimin returns his attention to Professor Han. Bare in mind, his notebook is empty, save doodles of Yewon on the front row, occasionally losing focus and staring around the room for long periods of time.

What Jimin has pushed before you is a small little piece of paper, smoothly cut into a heart shape. Now the sound of scissors makes sense… It’s just scrap paper from the back of his notebook, decorated with tiny stars and circles, a pathetic hand drawn galaxy on the front like a book cover. You slowly pick it up, more interested in this than the lecture. You turn it over curiously, your heart thumping endearingly and a smile picking up on your face as you read what he’s written on the back.

you and me have some serious chemistry. love u

Jimin refuses to make eye contact again. He’ll say something along the lines of, “you’re taking it too seriously” when you’ll no doubt ask him about it later, but really, Jimin’s just a softie, with the sudden need to tell his friends that he loves them. You’re not complaining.

(03) handwritten letters with cute stickers

Something’s been left in your shared kitchen, something with your name on it and closed in an envelope with a small Gudetama sticker. You set your cup of tea to the side, sliding up onto a stool near the breakfast bar to read it. The front is in a bold font, in handwriting you don’t really recognise. Careful of the time and effort put into the appearance, you carefully open the envelope and take out the contents.

Y/N

Good morning. I hope you slept okay - when I came home last night after judo, you were actually passed out on the couch in the common room so I piggy backed you up to your room. Hehe, your room is so dirty though...I think I definitely tripped over a plug that connected your fairylights, so sorry if that doesn’t work anymore. Anyway. I left this morning and left you some nice tea and some tablets (Yoongi said that I should put them in your bathroom, so I literally just left them on your sink). I know you haven’t been having a fun time with midterms and you need to take care of yourself! If you get too sick and can’t do anything, then how will we eat?? You’re our uni mom!!! We need to live too!!!!! D:

I also rented out Harry Potter for later. I know you get really sad and lonely when you’re stressed out, and so we can watch it together when I’m home after my shift at work :D

Hehe, feel better <3 Just remember that Jeonggukie loves you!!!

Drink tea and stay warm :)

Lots of love, Jeongguk :D

The paper is signed with Jeongguk’s messy handwriting, like he ran out of time as he was writing it. The page is littered with tiny Gudetama stickers and the sight of it makes you smile. Along with other little notes Jeongguk’s left for you over the last few months, this one earns a spot on your cork board above your desk.

(04) remembering what ur friend likes or dislikes

You were so late.

Almost getting run over by a bus in the process, you sprint across the small road that separates your flat and the University central campus, missing a deep puddle as you step up off the road and onto the pavement. It pours, your hair soaked and makeup no doubt running and staining your cheeks. Holy fuck, you were so late.

Every Friday, without fail, Flat 6 (aka the large and slightly stinky flat you share with two of your best friends) host an annual movie night, inviting literally all of your extended friendship group which definitely is not allowed, but who cares? You noticed Namjoon’s car pulled up in the car park next door and curse again, knowing you’re the last one to arrive to a movie night you’re technically hosting.

You rush up the stairs, since the elevator is still down for maintenance, and burst into the flat with an announcing groan. From somewhere in the living room, Jeongguk looks up with happy surprise and jumps up off the couch, approaching the hall.

“Y/N! You made it.”

You wince, smiling as you hang up your coat to drip dry on the mat near the door. “Yep. I made it. To my own movie night. That I’m technically helping host.”

“No sweat,” Jeongguk shrugs. “It’s okay. Here, I’ll dump your bag in the closet. Get changed, I think Yoongi’s still preparing snacks, anyway.”

“Okay. Thanks, Jeonggukie.”

He gushes, smiling and raising his shoulders cutely. “It’s okay, Y/N.”

Jeongguk swiftly takes your bag from your clutches, faking the weight with the droop of his knees just to hear you laugh, and then he turns to shuffle down the hall to quite literally toss it into the shared storage closet. You’re not too worried; on days like today, in which you have one 1 hour seminar to attend at 5pm and nothing else, there’s nothing inside your bag worthy of being broken by Jeongguk throwing it to the ground. As he does this, you shudder out of your shoes and make your way to your bedroom, to change into something warm and comfortable for the movie.

The sound of laughter makes you hurry to change, one leg out of your damp and cold jeans whilst simultaneously fishing for some old jogging bottoms out of your bottom draw, a jumper from Yoongi that he thought he lost left for you to grab on your bed. What he doesn’t know and will find out in five minutes won’t hurt him. (Yoongi also doesn’t care, because he’s a whipped best friend who lets you do what you want, including steal clothes he actually needs and can’t really afford to replace. Oh well, sharing is caring!).

Your hair is still soaked, and you move towards the single bathroom squeezed between two bedrooms to ring it out in the sink. Once you’re done, and your hair is thrown up into a scrunchie-decorated pony, you pace back towards the kitchen where, rightly so, Yoongi stands with his back facing you, filling up a glass with Pepsi.

“I thought we threw that shit out,” you announce as you walk in. “You know this flat is Team Coca Cola, those are the rules.”

Yoongi sighs, not looking up. “Yeah, I know, but Namjoon is a monster.”

“He’s so annoying...why can’t he just admit that Coca Cola is better?” you sigh, moving towards Yoongi to see the small bowls of snacks he has ready to be taken into the living room. It’s full in there, people stuffed onto the sofas and the floor where a bed of blankets lies like a mattress.

Yoongi’s outdone himself; the bowls are neatly organised by colour and ingredient, and you smile. Yoongi was a lot of things, one of them a secret perfectionist. Even when it concerned bowls of snacks. God, you love to love him.

“Namjoon’s a man of unpopular opinions, I mean, he really thinks the live action of Attack on Titan is good, like, who actually thinks that?” Yoongi rants, and then he glances to the side towards you, is silent for a moment, and then asks, “is that my jumper?”

You look down at it with a smile. “Yep. It’s comfy.”

Yoongi hums, like he’s bored. “Whatever, looks better on you than it did on me. Who the fuck lied to me and told me dark green was my colour...?”

“Every colour is your colour,” you say, patting his back and reaching for the bowls. “Should I take these in?”

Yoongi then nods, humming again. “Yeah. Yellow bowl is for you, by the way.”

You look to it. “And why is that?”

“Cause I know you don’t like the barbeque flavour chips that are in the red bowl, but everyone else does, so I went out and got you the salty ones. Oh, and there’s a bar of Galaxy in the fridge. Don’t tell Jeongguk, cause he’ll get pissy about how I didn’t get him something.”

As Yoongi tells you this, your heart flutters. You had told him that when you first met, after he offered you some of his chips noticing you were the only person not eating.

“You remembered that?” you wonder, and Yoongi looks at you like you’ve lost your mind.

“I’m a good friend,” he states, as though it were obvious. “Don’t get it twisted, though. I only did it because I don’t want to hear you complaining about it all night.”

You’re sure that’s a lie, but if it makes him feel better, you’ll accept it. You’ll also ignore the embarrassed tinge of red on his cheeks.

(05) inside jokes

[15:16PM] jeongguk: alright fuckers 🔪😡 [15:16PM] jeongguk: who left the kitchen window open all damn night [15:17PM] jeongguk: there’s three spiders in the sink and it rained so the work surface is all wet [15:17PM] jeongguk: [1 Image Attached] not happy bois [15:23PM] jine: i dont even live with you why are you asking the gc this [15:24PM] jeongguk: yoongi has the flat gc muted and idk how else to yell at him [15:28PM] y/n: blame me,,,,i have failed u,,,,,,,im sowwy [15:29PM] jeongguk: hehe its ok ❣️💘💕💓 i’ll clean it up 🥰 [15:32PM] haseul: eye….. [15:39PM] jimin: YALL LMAOODIUGJFKDSLJ [15:39PM] jimin: guess what TF just happened in my maths class [15:41PM] jimin: i forgot that on one of my assignments me and y/n had drawn a camel in the library on the back and he saw and asked me 2 stay behind after class so he could have stern words with me or smthn…..anyway so i go to the front of the class at the end and he’s like “mr park what the hell is this camel doing here” [15:42PM] jimin: and i said sir thats not a camel [15:42PM] jimin: thats my WIFE [15:43PM] y/n: HA HA HA… [15:45PM] yoongi: IF YALL DONT STOP [15:47PM] taehyung: THIS IS THE THIRD TIME YOU’VE MADE THIS REFERENCE AND I DONT KNOW WHAT IT MEANS [15:47PM] taehyung: this inside joke stinks….someone explain to me please what this means 😭😭😭 [15:48PM] hoseok: i hate this damn gc

(06) long phone calls

[Incoming Facetime Call From: Seokjin 👪]

“Hey.”

“Hey. Y/N, are you sitting down because I have some major tea on Professor Kwon and Professor Kim and I’m not supposed to be saying anything and it’s killing me.”

“Oh shit.” Audio shuffles. “I’m lying down now, bitch. Tell me everything.”

“Okay. So…”

[Five Hours Later]

“I’m still in shock about Kwon and Kim.”

“Me too. What’s Kim gonna do, lie and say she had heat rash on her titties?”

“Hopefully she doesn’t get them out for people to see.”

“Literally. God, I hate how our life has resorted to teacher gossip. Are we those students?”

“Yup. Two students bitching about teachers at...like ...midnight?”

“Oh, shit, it’s midnight already??”

(07) facetiming while ur both doing something else (study dates like that are on another level of intimacy)

Jimin’s had the same cold for about two weeks now, and nobody knows what the hell’s up with it. He walks around his flat, according to Hoseok, wrapped up in a blanket and surrounded by a necklace of matted tissues. To be honest, it’s not as bad as he’s making it out to be, but he’s a guy, and so anything that involves a slight stomach pain and a blocked nose instantly translates to man flu, which is almost as bad as the plague.

That being said, Jimin’s set himself under “house arrest” and is therefore glued to his bed or desk chair, still managing to move his sore and aching joints to write a few words on his lab report. With the first round of finals creeping up, Jimin actually wants to go to the library, but, man, what with his man flu and everything, he just can’t seem to do it.

On the other hand, he has you to set the mood for him. After snagging a corner table in the library near the big windows, you make a barrier out of your bag and books to watch the sunset, Taehyung opposite using minimal space with his laptop and headphones, watching a documentary he’ll need to cite for his essay. Jeongguk naps next to you, having exhausted himself from his shift last night that ran into the early hours and Sana secretly paints her nails, blowing them dry as she takes a break from writing.

Once you’re settled and comfortable, you reluctantly peel away the slice of tape covering your webcam (because Black Mirror has forever scared you into thinking 4Chan are watching you and will hold your endless hours of Games2Girls dot com against you) and open up Facetime, ringing Jimin who waits patiently back home.

After a few rings, Jimin’s bright and tired face pops up on the screen and you both silently wave. Jimin has his mic muted, but yours is on, allowing the ambience of the library trick Jimin into believing he’s actually there. It’s not quite like an ordinary study date, but for now, it’ll do. He opens his textbook and starts to work, comfortable and happy now that he’s listening to his friends discuss work, like he’s there. He smiles, occasionally glancing up to see your face working or Jeongguk unintentionally leaning into frame. It’s comforting. He works well.

(08) cooking something for ur friend

“Merry Christmas, Tae. Oh, wait, I have something for you.”

Taehyung is hosting a Christmas party this year, in the apartment he shares with some of the girls in your group and Namjoon. His flat is lit up with lights, draining the electricity, the tree sparkling like diamonds in the front living room that looks out onto the Seoul city. The sound of Michael Bublé sings out festively and Taehyung leads you through to the kitchen, out of the loud madness of the party that’s getting into full swing. In one hand, you have a big bag of presents that both Jeongguk and Yoongi kindly left for you to haul all by yourself to Taehyung’s flat, and in the other, you balance a box across your arm, the corner sharp on your inner elbow.

“Cool. Your gift is under the tree,” Taehyung says.

“Oh, yeah. No, this is an early gift.”

“Just for me?” he asks.

You set down the box. “Well, you can share if you love us all a lot. But, it’s for you.”

Taehyung wastes no time in opening the box, a smile widening across his face as he reviews the contents. The box is stuffed full with cookies, baked big and crumbly for his tasty pleasures. They’re decorated too, because you love him so much and you know he liked them last year.

“Last year you ate nearly all of my batch, so I just decided to make you some of your own this year,” you tell him casually. It’s really no big deal, but Taehyung feels like he might actually cry because the thought is so sweet. You notice this, the glassiness of your eyes. “Ew, don’t cry.”

“I’m sorry, I’m touched!” he exclaims. Taehyung turns on his spot and wraps an arm around your neck, pulling you in for a hug. With your arms wrapped around his torso, Taehyung smiles with a thrilled sound and kisses the crown of your head. “Thanks, Y/N, you’re the best.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know.”

(09) sending texts when u randomly think abt them

[11:15AM] namjoon 👨🏼‍🚀: i stopped by at kyobo’s today and found a cards against humanity add on pack that was harry potter themed and i thought of u lol [11:15AM] namjoon 👨🏼‍🚀: i bought it for u btw 😊

(10) listening without judging

When the front door slams shut, you know that something’s wrong.

Having opted for sitting in the natural light of the living room to finish your lab report, the sound of the door echoes loudly throughout the empty house. It’s only you home, since Yoongi has volleyball practise until six this evening, which means it’s Jeongguk who’s home and apparently, not in a very good mood.

Jeongguk doesn’t realise you’re in the living room until he enters it, stopping suddenly in the doorway when he sees you cross-legged on the carpet near the coffee table. His eyes are red and swollen, his nose shiny from where he’s been crying and sniffling. The sight makes your stomach churn with an indescribable feeling, and you immediately rise to your feet.

“Jeongguk? What’s wrong- did something happen?” you ask him, not stepping forward until you know he’s okay.

Jeongguk’s sensitive, the baby of the friendship group, and sometimes you forget to go easy on him. He sighs loudly and drops his backpack to the floor with a thud. His books curl inside loudly and he drags his feet across the floor to get to the couch. He moves as if he’s going to sit down and then stops, turning to you. His bottom lip curls like he’s about to cry, and then he opens his arms for a hug. You immediately move forward.

“Oh, Jeonggukkie,” you coo, stroking his hair and moving to sit on the sofa. Jeongguk comes down with you and you rest his head on top of your breasts, granting him this once in a lifetime opportunity and he doesn’t even register it. He just cries, loudly and comfortably, his arms around you as he sobs. “Oh, my baby. What happened?”

Jeongguk hiccups. “Do-Doesn’t matter. It’s dumb.”

“No, it’s not. Something hurt your feelings, and your feelings aren’t dumb,” you tell him seriously. Stroking the hair out of his face, you peer down at him. “Come on. Tell me, I won’t judge or tell anybody else. You can trust me.”

He sniffs loudly, but you don’t cringe. He blinks, tears falling and he embarrassingly wipes the tears away, nodding. “Okay.” And then the words come out like vomit.

“I just. You know how I liked Sooyoung, right? Well, we were talking- everyone knows we were, but still, we were talking, and I just really liked her and wanted her to like me. I did all this stuff for her, planned all these dates and got her flowers. I thought she liked flowers, girls like flowers. I know we joke that you’re one of the guys, but even you liked those flowers I got for you. So, I got her this pretty necklace with an S on it and was going to give it to her and so I went to her practise room. She does dance, you knew she does dance, right? Yeah. And so I went to the room and was in the room talking to her when the door opens and this guy comes in and he comes up to her and they kiss and I just. She. She told me she didn’t want to rush into dating and that she liked me, and then she suddenly started dating someone else and I’m just really hurt and confused. Did I do something wrong? Am I ugly? Am I annoying, I just...I don’t know what I did. I really liked her.”

You don’t say anything as he talks. You just listen intently, nodding against his head with a low hum and stroking his hair gently.

“I know it’s silly and stupid that I’m crying over a girl, it’s just…” He sighs. “It hurts.”

You sigh, too. “It’s not silly and stupid. What Sooyoung did was really shitty and it’s natural that it hurt your feelings. You did absolutely nothing wrong, though. The flowers were pretty, and you didn’t force her into anything, and you were so kind and patient. Any girl would be lucky enough to have you as a boyfriend. Sooyoung missed out! You’re so good, Jeongguk, one of the best guys I know. And you’re not ugly! That’s an insult to actual ugly people! If you’re ugly, then what are we?” He laughs shyly and you smile, “Huh? What are we?”

“Okay, sorry,” Jeongguk laughs, pressing his cheek into your torso with a wide smile. His hands loop together behind your back, meek and timid, and he sighs, this time less sadly. “Maybe I’m destined to be alone forever…”

“You’re being dramatic, now,” you sigh. “The right person is waiting for you. Just give it some time.”

Jeongguk thinks about that for a moment. “Wanna date me if I end up alone and single aged thirty?”

Loudly, you let out a laugh. “Yeah right. You know what, fine. Even though I know you won’t be, if we’re both single by thirty, I’ll marry you. How about that?”

Jeongguk hums. “Cool. Is it safe to have kids after thirty?”

You let out a wheeze, taken aback by Jeongguk’s question. “Woah there. I said I’d marry you, not birth your children! Besides, you’re acting like thirty is ancient! Lots of women have kids aged thirty.”

“Okay, sorry, I didn’t know! My Mom was only young.”

“I can’t believe you just asked me to have kids with you when we’re thirty…”

“Might as well make our marriage interesting,” Jeongguk shrugs.

You quite literally have nothing to say to that.

(11) making someone laugh so hard that their whole body shakes

“Ow- stop! I’m going to pee!”

You don’t think you’ve seen Seokjin laugh at a joke that’s not his own in quite some time. Tonight, across the table in the retro diner that’s been converted and opened in town, he has surprised you. The entire booth shakes with laughter, from all sides and directions. Seokjin leans up against the window, clutching his side with Jimin, Mina and Yoongi all stuffed next to him on the skinny one seater. Next to you, on either side, is Hoseok and Taehyung, with Jeongguk and Namjoon at the counter ordering more drinks.

“What?” you ask, laughing. You’re not laughing because it’s funny, but more so because you have no idea what it is you did to make him laugh so hard. “What did I say?”

Seokjin can hardly get his words out, choking halfway on air and having to reach for his drink which shakes in his hand. He sips and gasps for air: “Just-your...face!” Then he cracks up again, like it’s the literal joke of the century. You just don’t get it.

“What did I do?” you ask. “What’s so funny?”

Seokjin can’t breathe.

“Oh my God,” Yoongi comments, smiling with disbelief and covering his mouth as he laughs. Mina’s french fries are stone cold as she laughs and leans into Yoongi’s side for support.

“Fuck. Y/N, you’re so funny, I love you so much,” Seokjin cries. Cries, literally; there are tears pooling out of his eyes, and he wipes them, sighing loudly as he laughs a few more times.

You’re going to take the compliment happily, and move on. To this day, you never found out what was so funny…

(12) hanging out in furniture stores and testing every couch there is

“Take a picture of me so we can pretend this is our house for Instagram.”

You sigh, taking out your phone and snapping a photo of Taehyung, lounging his legs apart across a lime green sofa that looks like it’s been hauled out of a 70’s magazine. One of the best things about Taehyung is that he’s easy to please, eccentric and adventurous just like you. Taehyung could be taken to a junkyard for a first date and somehow he’d still find it fun. He didn’t watch Bottletop Bill and his best friend Corky and leave not taking some inspiration on what to do with scrap junk.

It slowly became a tradition to go to the weirdest places with Taehyung as your date. On weekends or free weekdays you shared, you’d text Taehyung and get him to come with you to somewhere new. On today’s list, IKEA. It’s not totally crazy, or weird or wacky, just something you don’t think you’d do with Yoongi for fun. Taehyung loved the idea.

Taehyung’s making it a mission to sit on every bit of furniture he can find. As he takes a ride up the elevator to the first and main starting point of IKEA, he immediately notices the display couches and stares at you excitedly: “Let’s pretend we’re about to buy our dream house and test all the couches.”

Your eyes light up. “Yes! We can pretend we’re on a TV show reviewing them.”

You don’t think you’ve ever seen Taehyung more excited. “Oh my God, yes!” Then he grabs your hand, tugging you towards a cream themed living display. “Let’s go, wifey! Time to review.”

(You very nearly leave IKEA with a bright red sofa that looks like it’s been handmade and the bottom pillows are patterned with tiny cherries. Sadly, you’re both broke and you don’t have a car to take it home.)

((Taehyung’s devastated.))

(13) deep conversations when it's deep in the night

Sometimes, Yoongi stays awake until the early hours in the living room and kitchen. On days where you can’t sleep, you can hear him pacing around, softly grunting as he walks, something he does without really realising and something you love about him. On occasion, you join him. Like tonight, for example.

Yoongi’s curled up on the kitchen counter when you wake up and leave your room to find him. He sits with his back up against the cupboards, the kitchen window open with a cigarette out the window. Catching your gaze wide-eyed, he moves as if he’s going to put the cigarette out but you stop him.

“I told Jeongguk I’d stop,” Yoongi explains. Inside, he’s just grateful you’re not Jeongguk tonight. The cigarette lets off steam. He doesn’t smoke as often as he used to, just when he needs to. Yoongi looks away from the window as you pick yourself up to sit on the cupboards parallel to him. A bottle of wine is out, and you quietly take off the top and take a large swig.

“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” you tell him honestly. “It’s okay. I won’t tell Jeongguk, too. There’s a new air freshener in the cupboard under the sink. Use that when you’re done.”

Yoongi nods. “Yeah. Thanks, Y/N.”

“Why’d you go back to smoking anyway? Didn’t you tell Jeongguk that you were stopping because you didn’t want to die, or something?” It’s a joke, Yoongi snorts in reply.

“You know how he feels about it. I do too, and I guess I just felt bad about it. It was bad enough for him growing up and at home, and he told me about his brothers asthma attacks because of it and how he almost died, and how his parents smoked religiously and it made them act a certain way.” Yoongi sucks in his breath, like he’s realising what lighting the cigarette means. “It’s not weed. Not what his parents did, but. Still, fuck.” He decides to put it out.

For a while, you don’t say anything to Yoongi. Staring at him is telling enough, and you watch as Yoongi regrets what he’s done so much that he pales, his eyes watering.

“I don’t want to let him down,” Yoongi admits truthfully. “He’s like my little brother. I don’t wanna hurt him, fuck.”

He rocks his head back, sighing into the night. Down below the window, over the small little cliffside that he can see from his window that looks down onto the freeway behind the flat, he watches the lines of traffic whiz by, like long white lights, the honks like ASMR in his ears.

“If you’re going back to bed, can you go in my room and take the rest of my cigs out? Don’t wanna feel tempted by them. Toss them out or something, will you?”

You nod immediately, taking another drink of wine. This gulp stings. “Course. Yeah, I’m gonna go now actually.” You hop down off the counter, handing the bottle and placing it next to Yoongi. “Don’t stay up too late, mkay?”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

You shrug in reply, Yoongi frowns. As you walk towards the doorway that separates the kitchen and the hall, you turn around and look back at Yoongi, calling his name. Yoongi looks over and raises his eyebrows expectantly.

“Love you,” you tell him. A smile follows, and Yoongi blinks tiredly.

“I love you too. Goodnight, Y/N.”

He watches as you disappear into the darkness of the hallway and then faces the nighttime again. The smell of cigarettes lingers, and his stomach churns. Yoongi reaches for the air freshener you mentioned and sprays it generously, sniffing and then turning off the lights to the kitchen. Jeongguk will wake up and complain about the window being open, and might even notice the ash on the windowsill, but, like you, he still loves his big brother regardless.

(14) holding hands while jaywalking so that u Both get hit by a car

“Now!”

A squeal leaves your mouth as Jeongguk grabs a hold of your hand and literally pulls you across the road. A car that speeds down the road presses the horn loud enough to turn a few heads and Jeongguk grins boyishly, raising his hand as if to say sorry even though you’re far enough away to not get hit. Jeongguk’s motto for jaywalking is We Hold Hands, Because We Go Together Or We Don’t Go Down At All, or something. You know he stole half of it from an All Time Low song, but it works, and the song slaps.

From across the road, on the side you and Jeongguk are running towards, Hoseok gapes at the both of you and his eyes bulge out of his head.

“You two have a death wish!” he yells.

“But we lived, bitch!” Jeongguk replies, raising a gang sign to which Hoseok pulls a face at.

“I literally cannot stand you,” Hoseok seethes, walking away even though he’s supposed to be going out for dinner with the both of you. You and Jeongguk share a look that ends in a burst of giggles and run after Hoseok, capturing each of his arms with your own. He complains all the way to the restaurant, even though he loves it.

(15) randomly buying a flower for someone

“Delivery.”

Namjoon’s voice lifts your head. He stands behind the reception desk of your flat complex with a small bunch of flowers in his left hand. If he didn’t already know that you were working your two hour shift today, then he’s lucky he caught you. The sight of a bouquet of wildflowers makes your heart soar curiously.

“For someone special?” you wonder. Maybe he’s delivering to someone in the complex. Namjoon’s a sweetie like that.

Namjoon blinks. “Yeah. You.” He holds the bouquet outwards, with a bright smile. “They were for sale outside as I got off my subway. Thought of you, again. Happy early birthday.”

“My birthday’s in, like, seven months,” you say.

“That’s why it’s for your early birthday,” Namjoon replies.

You don’t know what to say. “They’re so pretty, thank you. Hey - can you go up to my flat and put them in a vase? I’ve still got an hour here, they might dry out if they’re kept down here.”

Namjoon nods instantly. “Sure. Gimme your key?” You slide the key across the desk towards Namjoon and he takes it swiftly. “Cool. Glad you like them. Enjoy your shift, Y/N.”

“Unlikely,” you groan. “Thanks, Joonie!”

He smiles as he reaches the door, sticking his tongue out to you as he prepares to climb the stairs. That elevator needs fixing urgently, and all you can think about is how much you love your friends.

(16) letting ur friends taste ur food and also tasting theirs to the point where u basically ate a fair amount off of each plate on the table

“What do you mean you’ve never tried a steak before?” Yoongi sighs so loudly that it turns a few heads. “Okay. Take a bite, it’s called charity and I’m generous. Come on.”

Yoongi even cuts you a slice and leans over the table to let you taste it. Beside you, Namjoon cringes when you close your teeth around the fork and pull the steak off, taking several bites and widening your eyes with wonder a Yoongi. You have just unlocked a taste sensation!

“Like it?” Yoongi asks.

“Mhm! It’s so easy to eat,” you observe. You look at Namjoon, “try his.”

Yoongi sighs. He willingly shares his food out. You glance down at your own meal, a pretty pasta dish that Jeongguk looks at from next to Yoongi.

“What is that? It looks good,” Jeongguk asks.

“Spaghetti Al Pomodoro,” you quote from the menu. Jeongguk laughs, because who goes to a restaurant and orders spaghetti? “Stop, I don’t know the menu, I played it safe!”

“Lemme try,” Jeongguk invites himself to try the taste, twirling his fork around the pasta and sucking it up like a scene in Lady and the Tramp. This sets off a sequence around the table, something you can’t help but snigger at. Namjoon lets you try some of his curry and Yoongi tries Jeongguk’s burger. By the time everybody on the table has tried everybody elses meals, you finally look back at your plate and notice that literally half of the meal’s now gone. Yoongi has about one bite of steak left, and Jeongguk could easily finish his burger in one bite.

“I hope everyone enjoyed my meal,” Yoongi says sarcastically, and he angrily chews his last piece of steak.

Namjoon looks up with a bright smile. “Yeah I did. Thanks!”

(17) "give me that I'll carry it for u"

Sometimes, Hoseok stops by at the reception to help out, especially during finals or midterms when you could really use those two years of monitoring an empty email inbox to study. Today, one of the newer residents, Somi, is on the desk and is playing Club Penguin on the computer, and you’re shoved into the back storage room with Hoseok, filing everybody’s mail and parcels.

It’s so messy in here, and looks like it hasn’t had a good clean out since it was first built, which might sound ridiculous, but have you seen all of this dust?

“Can you guys take out the trash?” One of the other workers, Siwon, pokes his head into the back room.

“You only just asked us to do this, though,” Hoseok points out with his hands on his hips.

Siwon shrugs, “Okay. And? Get to work.”

He turns and leaves as Hoseok gives him the middle finger, groaning as he arches his back to relieve pain that’s developed from being hunched over for too long. The trash bags are enormous and bulky with weight, shoved into a single room that absolutely honks. Hoseok grimaces as he opens the door and drags some bags out, deliberately ignoring a suspicious juice leaving a trail behind one of the ones he’s just brought into the back room.

“That literally stinks,” you complain.

“Yep.”

While Hoseok continues to haul bags out of the trash room, you take it upon yourself to drag the bags out to the back, towards the giant tip that’s collected by the bin-men the following day. After two or three trips, Hoseok steps out of the room and notices you struggling to pick a big bag up off the floor over your shoulder, like Santa’s sack.

“Give me that, I’ll carry it for you,” Hoseok offers, already stepping forward.

“No!” you protest stubbornly. “I’ve got this.”

“You’re so full of bullshit,” Hoseok howls. He ignores you and snatches the bag out of your hands. You’ll never admit it, but it feels good to not have the twisty material burning your fingers. “Sit down. You’ve worked hard.”

“Don’t patronise me,” you scold.

He giggles, “sorry. You’re too cute. Keep filling in those forms, kill two birds with one stone?”

You wait until Hoseok’s out of the room to cradle your fingers. Fucking hell, that hurts.

(18) helping ur friend decide what to wear while also reminding them that they look amazing no matter what

“You’re not going to the Met Gala, Jimin. Just wear jeans, my dude.”

“No. No, no, ignore him.” You throw a glare in Jeongguk’s direction and shift on your stomach, watching Jimin frantically search through his wardrobe. “This is important. This is serious. He’s going to see a potential employer, Jeongguk.”

“Yeah,” Jimin taunts, “so go be jobless and broke somewhere else.”

Jeongguk snorts, “I have a job, though…”

“Okay, get out of my room. Y/N, help me.”

“You looked good in the last four outfits,” you say to him honestly. “What’s wrong with this one, hm?”

You stand up, moving to one of the outfits laid out on the floor. It’s a pretty combination of clothes; a patterned white shirt that’s both formal and casual, with black trousers and brown shoes.

“I don’t like the shoes,” Jimin mumbles, continuing to search.

“Okay...Why don’t we just…” You crouch, moving a pair of black shoes from outfit number three to outfit number two. Now the shoes are black, and the outfit looks great. “Do that? What do you think?”

Jimin looks down at it, biting his bottom lip. “Is it good?”

“Yeah, totally,” you nod with enthusiasm. “It shows your personality whilst also remaining professional. And you looked super handsome in it.” Jimin faces you with a shy smile, “Trust me. It’s the one.”

It takes some reluctance and convincing, but Jimin eventually settles on outfit number two. All it took was some convincing and abuse of his praise kink.

(And he got the job.)

(19) being involved in every bad hair decision (dyeing ur friend's hair grey in between playing with their switch)

Three games into Mario Kart, you realise that you urgently need to email Nintendo and play I’m-Karen-Let-Me-See-The-Manager. Nintendo Switches are so dangerously addictive that Seokjin has you watching him play as grey hair dye bleaches his scalp. You can’t help but watch as he wins race after race, a streak of ten to beat tonight with King Boo as his racer every damn time.

“Fuck, your hair!” You must have said that so many times that Seokjin’s bound to get sick of it. He glances up at his reflection and eyes the sight on his head.

“Looks fine,” he shrugs.

“Let me remind you that it looks fine because the colour’s okay at the front. It looks kinda...patchy at the back.” You reach for the dye, “We’re low. Seokjin, we’re in trouble.”

He shrugs again. “Whatever. We can make a new trend.”

“Hell no. If it looks shit, I’m paying for you to get it done professionally ...which, you should have just done in the first place. I'm not a hairdresser!”

“And thank fuck for that!” Jimin steps into the living room and laughs nervously. “That looks hideous!”

This time, Seokjin’s eyes raise icily.

“It’s not that bad…” you mutter. “It’s okay. I’ll fix it.”

“The only way to save your hair is to just sacrifice it all,” Jimin sighs. “You know what, I’ve got a razor in my cupboard, let’s bring forward bald Seokjin.”

“I’ll take the patchy scalp,” Seokjin threatens.

“It’s really not that bad,” you pout quietly, attempting to fix the mess at the back of his head.

Okay - you’re lying. It’s awful. It’s a total disaster. But when Seokjin gets a good look at it, and he does take a good long look, he just shrugs and puts down the mirror.

“It’s a trend,” he decides. Mario Kart resumes and you’re rendered absolutely speechless.

(20) paying attention

When forced into a group of friends outside of your own, you always had a tendency to stand out in the worst ways possible. It’s not as if you stood out for being different, or funny or pretty. No; outside of your close circle of friends, you were the obvious outsider. You stuck out like an imposter, like a red flower amongst white ones.

This get together hosted by one of Jeongguk’s other friends, Joshua, takes place in his crazy expensive lake house in the countryside, owned by his parents and left to him when he turned eighteen. It’s remarkable that you got invited, to be honest. But, when Jeongguk’s your best friend, you get vouched for, granted permission to stay for the weekend in the one of many rooms, with the exception of sharing a room with two other guys. Jeongguk doesn’t mind sharing a bed for the weekend with Jimin, as long as you’re comfortable in your own.

And you’re not blind - it’s not hard to figure out why a big group of girls who had managed invitations were clinging to your circle of friends. You had lucked out in a way that ensured your entire group were visuals, everybody stunning in their own unique way. Joshua and his friends are here too, obviously, but their eyes are only on a certain segment of the group. From this angle, one of the girls who made her way over to the sofas sits with her back in your general direction, and it sort of feels like primary school all over again where you were the odd one out.

You try not to let it bother you, though. As the guys play polite and laugh when needed and talk casually, something slips up in conversation: “Well, actually-” One of the girls is talking, blinking repetitively in Namjoon’s direction with a sweet smile, “I think I have more guy friends than girls. Girls are so hard to talk to sometimes.”

“Right?” one of the others says with a sigh. “I wish I had more male friends. I want to move in with some in the future.”

You inhale. This is a good conversation to jump into. “Same,” you say. The girl in front of you turns around slightly, perhaps only just remembering that you were there in the first place. “I’ve been friends with these guys forever now, and living with them is so…” You notice after a short ramble that the girls turned back around, and she’s not even listening. You trail off, looking bored, “who am I even talking to?”

But from across the coffee table on the other couch, Yoongi furrows his brows and sets his glass down. “Y/N’s right,” he announces, and you look up at the same time as the other girls. Like they’re confused, they look at the group and then back at you, as if wondering the connection. “You know, guys are always told being friends with girls is impossible, but Y/N’s the glue that keeps us together.”

Jeongguk nods, “Mhm, exactly! You know, they said that it would be hard being friends with girls because you’d catch feelings, but Y/N’s so repulsive that it’s not even that hard...”

You glare at him, “Ha-ha. Very funny.”

“Trust me,” Chaeyoung pops up, having been sat silently in between Taehyung and Mark for the past twenty six minutes, “it’s not all that.” The girls look at her, “Men are disgusting. I don’t know how Y/N does it. These guys are the repulsive ones...I was in their flat for five minutes and I think I caught three diseases.”

“Hey, don’t drag my apartment into this,” you pout. Yoongi shakes his head with a smile and watches you, happy that the frown that was once on your features had disappeared into a smile. Hey, in a weird way, this was a good conversation to jump into!

The girls around you share glances, as though they’ve just clocked on to how important you are to these guys and how ignoring you won’t make them like them more, and eventually, you’re included in the conversation. You make a mental reminder to thank the fuck out of Yoongi for paying attention to you, even when you’re silently in the background.

(21) being aware and understanding of someone's financial situation ("dw I'll pay for u")

“We all need matching ones. Look, one each!”

Jeongguk excitedly crouches in front of one of the display cases, marvelling at the sight of tiny little charms on foam boxes, smiling up at you all. It makes you weak seeing how childlike Jeongguk actually is, how he gets excited over shiny things like a little magpie. Today is one of those rare afternoons where you’re all miraculously free, and it had been Namjoon’s idea to go out somewhere and hang out. Seoul is filled with beautiful and secret places to explore like a tourist and he takes up the opportunity.

This shop is dinky and in a weird place between an ice-cream shop and a fish market, probably scammy and has definitely seen better days. But Namjoon likes it, and Yoongi vouches for it because he’s been here before with Namjoon when they brought a watch for Jimin. Okay, yes, it was a designer watch, but it was way cheaper from this shop and, wait, who cares if it’s fake? Nobody noticed until now.

You stand behind Jeongguk, peering down at the charms. They’re all so cute and cartoon-like, each charm you view immediately reminding you of another friend. For Jeongguk, the rabbit. Taehyung could have the paintbrush or camera, Jimin definitely could have the apple because of the fact that his new favourite thing to say is An Apple A Day Keeps The Demons Away. It makes no sense, but he learns to roll with it.

“They’re cute,” Hoseok comments, smiling widely.

“They should be cute, for thirty dollars a charm!” you gape, pointing out the price. “I thought this was a shop that sold things cheaper?!”

“They’re usually around sixty,” Namjoon shrugs.

“For why?” you exclaim.

Nobody hears that, or if they do, they ignore it. With a sigh, you turn away from the case and start looking at something else. Thirty dollars for a small charm is insane, and you don’t have that kind of money. As Taehyung and Jeongguk start picking charms for everybody, your heart rate quickens.

How can you tell them that you don’t want a charm because you can’t afford a charm without disappointing them and sounding like you’re asking one of them to buy you one? In your panic, Seokjin worms his way up behind you and rests his arm up on your head like an arm-rest.

“Have you picked a charm?” he asks, and you look away instantly. “Hey,” he says, noticing that, “what’s up, buttercup?”

You sigh reluctantly. “I can’t afford to get one of those…”

Seokjin blinks and frowns slightly. “Oh. Well, that’s okay. I’ll pay for you.”

“No way!” you hiss at him, poking a finger into his chest. “Kim Seokjin, don’t you dare-!”

“Hey, I owe you, it’s cool,” Seokjin assures you.

“Owing me because I paid for your McDonalds is not the same as spending thirty dollars on a tiny charm.”

“They’re friendship charms,” he explains. “It’s symbolic for our friendship. Look, stay silent and pretty and let me get you something nice. Please?”

In this one instance, Seokjin doesn’t take no for an answer and invites himself into the small huddle of guys around the charms and picks one out for you. Seokjin picks you a love heart, because he knows that no matter what, there’s a love between the guys and you that nothing can pull apart.

(22) looking stupid in public together (dancing in stores to overplayed pop songs)

You hear it at the same time as Jeongguk.

One thing you don’t mind that much about Korea is that the sound of random K-POP groups follows you around everywhere you go. You actually kind of like it, because the songs are catchy enough and Jimin and Hoseok like it for the dances. But, my God, if you have to hear Momoland’s Bboom Bboom one more time, you might explode.

Over the hum of the refrigerators in the small GS25, where you and Jeongguk are examining the surprisingly large collection of flavoured milks, you hear those guitar strums and just as the horns roll in, you and Jeongguk share a glance and immediately do The Thing.

The Thing is recreating the entire dance routine to the song, which you had both decided to learn when you were bored and procrastinating during midterms. Everybody else in your friendship group deems it the single most embarrassing thing that you and Jeongguk do in public next to jaywalking, and maybe you can see why. The chorus rolls by and you’re both shimmying, pointing finger hearts to each other, and it’s rolling to an end when one of the cashiers turns the corner with a big tray of iced coffee in her arms.

She pauses and so do the both of you, in an intense stare off until she cowers and scurries to put down the tray and carefully shelf the drinks. Jeongguk looks at you with the urge to laugh and picks a random milk off the shelf, urging you out of the aisle to pay. When you’re outside and free from the judgement of the cashier, Jeongguk laughs on the floor for about five straight minutes.

(23) looking stupid in public together (singing loudly in ur car)

“JUST GO AHEAD AND HATE ON ME AND RUN YOUR MOUTH!”

“So everyone can hear!”

“HIT ME WITH THE WORST YOU GOT AND KNOCK ME DOWN!”

“Oh, baby, I don’t care.”

“KEEP IT UP AND SOON ENOUGH, YOU’LL FIGURE OUT!”

Both of your voices: “You wanna be, you wanna be, A LOSER LIKE ME!”

In the backseat, Yoongi shrinks further down until his bum is hanging off the chair, in the footwell where his knees are. “Please kill me.”

(24) hugging people when u say hi and goodbye to them

Hoseok is one of the best friends you could ever ask for. One, he’s friendly. Two, he’s funny. Three, he’s cute. Four, he hugs you when you arrive somewhere and again when you leave, and you absolutely love it.

“Y/N, hi!” His voice is the first to call out to you when you walk into the Open Day fair at your Uni. You look awful, overslept and still half asleep, but he comes towards you with a smile and engulfs you in a hug. “You look cute. Sleep well?”

That’s not to say the other guys don’t hug you, because they definitely do. But, Hoseok’s always the first.

(25) being there for someone even if u can't help them

“Go ahead. Laugh at me like everybody else.”

Jimin and Jeongguk are the ones who are unfortunately tasked with dealing with a tragically grieving Y/N. It’s unfortunate to you, but they don’t mind one bit. The last thing they expected to see when they came back to Jeongguk’s apartment to watch more episodes of Mindhunter on Jeongguk’s TV, was you curled up on the window seat with red eyes and a runny nose.

“Why would we laugh at you, baby?” Jeongguk asks, rubbing your back. He’s sat next to you and Jimin is by your feet, rubbing them and your legs with his soft hands.

You sniff uglily, but none of them say anything. “Cause. Cause it’s just a fish, I guess.”

“It was still your pet,” Jimin points out sadly. “Susan was a great fish.”

You sniff again, crying some more. “I just feel like a bad owner. Maybe the bowl wasn’t big enough, and maybe I didn’t feed her enough...I don’t want her to have died because of me.”

“Hey, now,” Jeongguk assures softly, “I’m sure she died peacefully. You were the best fish Mom ever. Susan’s in a better place now.” He glances over at Jimin nervously, “Like, fish heaven?”

For a moment you don’t say anything, and Jeongguk thinks maybe that was too much. But then you turn to him with a hopeful expression. “You really think so?”

“Yeah, of course,” Jeongguk replies.

“Susan’s still with you in your heart,” Jimin adds. He’s not too great at the comforting thing. “You were so good to her. If I was a fish, I’d want you to be my Mom.”

Jeongguk looks at Jimin with a deadpan face. Maybe that was too much, but you smiled, and that’s something to Jimin. Even if he doesn’t know what to do to help, the least he can do is be there for you.

(26) "this reminded me of u"

[03:15AM] namjoon: hehe [03:15AM] namjoon: this reminded me of u ^__^ [03:16AM] namjoon: [1 Image Attached]

[03:20AM] y/n: there r no words….

(27) allowing people to be human, with everything that this entails

University truly has been the best years of your life. There’ve been rough spots financially and mentally, but your key support system has been the circle of friends you’re proud to love and live with. Even when they’re a little bit chaotic, sometimes really annoying and loud and tiring, you still love them, and every quality that comes along with loving them.

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0lshadyl0 · 4 years

Note

Hi may I ask for yandere Shoto x fem reader non-con, she's part onryo and thinks she's unattractive.

>sees the word onryo in the ask

> has zero ideas what the hell is that

> do some research time *insert elevator music here too* > understand what onryo mean

> has an existential crisis because this gives a full OC's creation material but doesn't have the time for that because of Christmas /but still creates one for her future villain oc blog/

> surrender and do the request

well, the idea is nice and have a good non-con material but I think that this answer will be kind of different at what you asked since I have to give a more realistic way of what an onryo is and her characteristics

first of all, Onryo is (怨霊, literally "vengeful spirit", sometimes rendered "wrathful spirit") refers to a ghost (yūrei) believed to be capable of causing harm in the world of the living, injuring or killing enemies, or even causing natural disasters to exact vengeance to redress the wrongs it received while alive, then taking their spirits from their dying bodies.

mainly these spirits are feminine, women who were abandoned by their husbands, their husbands were capricious and made them suffer a lot or that on their deathbed their husbands promised not to remarry but breach their promise, they are also distressed women who curse their beautiful Kimonos

now with that explained, let get this jam~

Get you back to me, Yandere Todoroki Shoto x Onryo Reader

warnings: cursing, rape, verbal abuse, death, toxic relationship, cheating, betrayal

word count: 2223

He would have been able to avoid that catastrophic end, if he had only acted before, if he had not respected your wishes, letting you be "happy" with that moron who only caused you unhappiness while cheating on you with whatever woman crossed him, he would not be there crying... at your funeral

You endured his abuses, lies, deceptions and from time to time, knocks from when he arrived drunk to your home, forced your door to insult you, reminding you how horribly ugly you were and that you should be grateful that he fixed his gaze on you, then he was beating you, watering his beer in your bruised face and then going to the neighboring building where he slept with some other girl

But your kind heart did not allow you to recriminate or blame him, even though Shoto insisted that you leave the son of a bitch, after all, you deserved better, you, a sweet woman who with a smile from your lips made the heterochromatic transcend to nirvana and thank all god that he knew for the fact of your existence, you only saw him as a friend, he, who treated you as if you were a queen, you only allowed him to be the one to console you after the mistreatment of the loser who didn't treat you like Todoroki thought you deservedAnd that's how in the bicolor's desperation to show you that he loved more than him, that you deserved more than that fucker, that you should be in his arms and not his; one night he invited you to his apartment, a luxurious pent-house, where he started drinking with you while they talked about worldly subjects

Sometime later, when you were a little past from tipsy, Shoto took advantage of your moment of weakness, in the middle of your crying while you were questioning if you really were so horrible that the love of your life decided to meet your fleshly needs with other women while he only gave you hurtful words along with blows that occasionally left you in the hospitalShoto comforted you by massaging your back while slowly directing you, preventing you from tripping over various furniture on the way to your room, where he laid you in his bed, so that later when all the alcohol went up at the head so that you were almost half unconscious, he proceeded to undress you, then he undressed and made love to you as you had never felt beforeIn your alcoholic state, you thought that the man to whom you gave all your passion without inhibiting yourself, was your beloved who had finally decided to stop fucking with other women to finally surrender entirely to you, perhaps, your relationship with him, at last, was going again for a better way

But you were not aware that those sweet moans and your lascivious expressions full of desire were not seen by the man you thought you were giving yourself, but, on the contrary, it was Shoto who enjoyed you at that moment even though he hated a lot that the name you moaned with such fervor was his damn one, but he let it go through this time, after all, it was he who had you at that moment, fucking in and out of you to finally implanting his seed deep inside your walls The next day, when you woke up, with tremendous headache due to the hangover, you realized your mistake, seeing you wrapped in the arms of the bicolor man, quickly and ignoring both the headache and your best friend who asked you to stay in the bed with him, you said no while looking at him with hate shouting that you would never forgive him, also when I try to approach you, you slapped him "I hate you! I hate you Todoroki Shoto, I trusted you and you took advantage of me" you were angered"Understand Y/n, I have done it for a good reason" he was surprised since he had never seen you so furious"No! I will not listen to you, you have gone out of line with this, I do not want to see you anymore! I want you to disappear from my life!" You yelled at him, which he got shocked and in his chest, a feeling of emptiness was beginning to be generated within it

In a clumsy way, you put on your underwear while a shiver ran through your body, feeling like liquid began to come out of your pussy staining your pantyhose, you knew very well it was and fear seized you for that, because, yesterday was the day most likely for you to get pregnant, something that Shoto also knew since he was the one who remembered about your menstrual cycle since you were quite forgetful about itYou just put on some pants while the feeling of betrayal got into your heart, you had made it very clear to Shoto that you didn't see him that way, you already loved another person and, even so, against your wishes he got you drunk, he fucked you and he came inside of you, by this point you already understood that his intention was to get you pregnant so that you had no choice but to marry himWith tears in your eyes, you put your shirt in a bad way and left the apartment all messy, making it clear to everyone with your image that you had a lot of sex, but that didn't matter to you because you just wanted to get to a pharmacy and buy the morning after pill, take it, go to your house and bathe to remove all evidence of Todoroki in your body, although you saw it complicated with the marks of hickeys on your neck, breasts, and legs

But for your bad luck, just when you left the elevator you saw your boyfriend with another woman, but this was not any other woman, she was your friend, rather, your best childhood friend, the same woman who now she was massaging her body in the chest of your beloved with lust, however, he was very busy looking at you with the deepest disgust that could manifest on a face"I can not believe that someone as disgustingly horrible as you

had the audacity to fool me with anybody out there" he said seeing in the obvious state in which you were, it showed from afar that you had fucked someone"I have more pity for the poor idiot who put his cock inside you, after all, you have always been the ugly of both," said your supposed best friend making fun of you "but this show of betrayal of you, damn bitch, make the things easier for us, no honey? ”she looked at your boyfriend"Consider any shit that we had finished, I already found a prettier bitch than you" said your now ex-boyfriend while giving your now ex-best friend a hard spanking and smiling pleased with himselfEven though you wanted to say something, prevent the relationship from ending, beg for him not to leave you for another woman, you raised your right hand to get the attention of your beloved, but he gave you a look of hate that pushed back your advance for fear of him hitting you right thereWithout more I just watch you as he left with another more beautiful woman, a woman you trusted, you thought she was your friend and in the end, she betrayed you, saw how they kissed inside the elevator while the doors closed and your heart, like your desire to live, broke into a thousand pieces

Feeling as miserable as a person who was abandoned by the person they love the most in the world, terrible pain in your chest took your breath away, arching to try to ask for help you fell to the ground while suffering a heart attackWhen Shoto came out of his shock and dressed half decently to run after you and apologize, in addition to making sure that you didn't clean up or take a pill the day after, thus ensuring your pregnancy and that his plan could end with a successWhen he arrives at the lobby, he contemplates how paramedics tried to give you first aid, there were people between horrified and curious seeing you suffer, Todoroki accompanied the paramedics to take you to the ambulance to quickly go to the hospitalHe was sweating cold, inside Shoto it was a whirlwind of emotions, but mostly there was the terror of whatever happened to you was serious, unfortunately, his fear was confirmed when they arrived at the hospital, you had died from a heart attack, according to the doctor was stress-induced cardiomyopathyYou literally died because the son of a bitch broke your heart, now he had to bury you while he lamented your death and the future he would never have with youBut, much to the surprise of the bicolor, you came back to life, or, rather, you were forced to return to live with your quirk, one that you didn't know you had, after all, you were supposed to be quirkless, but not, you had a quirk, but it would only be activated if you died

Your quirk was Onryo, a skill that allowed you to come back to life to retaliate for all the evils that had been caused to you in the form of a vengeful spirit full of hateThis organization was the legion of the elite, a criminal group approved by law that was responsible for dirty work, of any kind, that the government ordered them to do in exchange for being exonerated of any type of crime they committed in their "time free"This group had been following you for years, since one of its members, who could see the future in the long term, saw your potential to kill in your vengeful spirit formSo they decided that you were as miserable as possible by the time you died, you became a powerful murderous spirit which they would control, they were the ones who killed your parents, they brainwashed your boyfriend's brain to make you psychologically weak until he point that you only wanted to die, either by suicide or other methods, so your brainwashed boyfriend, mistreat you by telling you every day that you were horrible, betraying you with other women, while beating you and making you feel worse than crap, not only that, they also brainwashed your best friend to fall in love with your boyfriend and take it away from you

At your funeral they were there waiting for the few who came to visit you, a few friends to whom the organization did not take importance because they were not very significant to you and the pro-hero Todoroki Shoto, they waited for them to leave to steal your body and resuscitate you, the wait was long since the hero stayed a long time crying your loss, regretting not having forced you to break up with your boyfriend so that you were with himNine hours later, when the squad in charge of stealing your body began to lose faith that the hero left, Shoto finally did, he was called to attend an emergency of a villain attack with a water quirk

With renewed hopes, the five members stole your body successfully, then in one of its many bases your spirit was brought back to life with the help of a necromancer and sealed in a puppet that had the same image of your body, now with your spirit inside the puppet, you seemed as if you had never died, with the small difference that you no longer had the same personality, in you there was only hate, the desire to avenge yourself of all the women who hurt you and you took your revenge, you killed them allIt didn't take long for everyone and, above all, a certain pro hero with half white half red hair to realize your return; Thanks to the legion of the elite that provides you with the information of all the women with whom your ex-boyfriend cheated on you, you went and killed them all, you eliminated all those that you knew that they had hurt you because the truth is, you had no idea that the ones that ruined your life were the same ones that now helped you and that you started to consider them as your new friends, all because they're gentle, supportive and caring with you, and that comfort was very welcomed As soon as Todoroki learned that you were walking again in the world of the living, for the first time he thanked the existence of that organization of legalized mercenaries, after all, they had given him a new opportunity to have you by your side and this time he would not leave, not even if you gave him a negative answer, he was going to have you whenever you want it or not, he would keep you safe and take care of you as he couldn't do it the first time, without wasting time, he began his search to find the legion of the elite and above all to bring you back

................................................................................................

this was so long, why I can’t do short scenarios?

#bnha #bnha scenarios #bnha fic?#this has the posiblity of a second part??#maybe?#todoroki shoto #bnha todoroki #todoroki shoto x reader #yandere #yandere posts #yandere bnha #yandere todoroki #yandere shoto #yandere todoroki shoto #yandere todoroki shoto x reader #shoto x reader #todoroki x reader #i am bad at romance #shady spicy

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mikami · 5 years

Note

A deeper look on Light's thought before and after his second victim please? Light wanted to move from 50% percent that he killed someone or just an coincidence to 100% confirmed either of those, sure anyone would do that, but what then? I also don't understand why he thought that moving on his killing spree until a reaper comes and takes his life was a good idea.

Alright, let’s follow Light’s journey a bit here!

After accidentally killing his first victim, he immediately panics and needs to make sure whether or not that really just happened, yes. Though notably, he also immediately goes on to try and find justifications. He can’t just kill anybody, he has to kill someone who it is morally defensible to kill. Because he’s Light Yagami and he doesn’t do bad and immoral things!!

That’s the mindset he goes out to cram school with. By the time he gets there (and then is on the way back, as in the panel above), he’s already notably calmed down. Light is a master of rationalizing. All his feelings run through fifty layers of thought justification before he allows himself to feel them. So by this point he’s already calmer again, back to treating things as a bit more of a thought experiment. And this thought experiment is pretty morbid. Light’s had a negative outlook on the world before (his literal first panel is ‘this world is rotten’), but now he really zeroes in on his pre-existing contempt towards humanity. And it absolutely is pre-existing, even if he may not ordinarily think that much of it.

And then we get to the point where it undeniably stops being a thought experiment and that is the turning point. Here Light has to face that beyond a shadow of doubt, he’s killed people. He’s the perfect son of a hardworking policeman who works with homicide cases… and he’s just become the secret perpetrator of a homicide case himself.

And this impacts him. Shatters his self-image to the point of nearly being sick in public.

His first instinct is the understandable: I did a bad thing and I cannot do a bad thing again, so it is time to toss out the murder weapon. That’s all fine and good if you’re a person who can accept mistakes and failure - or at the very least a person with a fairly regular method of running away from mistakes and failure.

But we’re dealing with Light Yagami here. Light Yagami, the perfect golden boy. Revered by everyone he meets, smartest in the country, someone everyone should aspire to be like. He knows he is this because everyone has told him so all his life. And Light Yagami doesn’t make mistakes.

So this can’t be a mistake. He methodically rationalizes his mistakes away. He actively saved lives with his first murder, so that’s an easy one. The second gives him a moment of pause at least. It’s not morally defensible under the current moral standards after all.

Thus the moral standard needs to change.

Of course, this is a simplification. Light doesn’t decide then and there in the alley that he’ll change the whole world’s morality. It’s just an idea and it’s an idea he is conflicted about for a variety of reasons. So let’s look at this conflict in depth.

1. Length of conflict

This happens on November 28th, 2003. This is important because that is a Friday.

Light reaches his conviction to actually become Kira in school. Thus, on a Monday. Light spends the whole weekend deliberating.

And his deliberating looks like this, which leads us right to the second point.

2. Fear of death

Light doesn’t only want to rectify his mistake.

When Ryuk shows up, his first instinct is to ask how Ryuk will punish him. After that initial alley moment, it has occurred to him that he messed with forces beyond human comprehension and he will likely not get off scot-free. He very much considers that he will die incredibly soon.

He’s 17 a this point and he’s an ambitious fellow.

He doesn’t want to die after having lived a meaningless life.

Thus he combines his subconscious wish to not be culpable and his desire to give meaning to his life into one thing: he will use the remainder of his days to change the world as much and as quickly as possible.

This a) makes more impact than he otherwise reasonably could make in the little time he expects he has left and b) makes his murders part of a bigger moral conviction instead of just being one-off fuck-ups. Light doesn’t fuck up after all.

These are the assumptions Light works under when he starts his Kira murders. And when Ryuk tells him that actually he won’t die at all, he’s just like…

….. wow, wtf.

Because this opens a whole new scope to his actions.

And then Ryuk gives Light two facts:

1. There is no Heaven or Hell.

-> This means Light’s life is literally the only thing he has to make his existence worth something. It’s the ultimate confirmation that he only has one shot

.2. When Light dies, Ryuk will be the one to kill him.

->The length of the time he has to make an impact is determined by the shinigami in front of him.

So after learning these two things, Light immediately goes on to ask why Ryuk dropped the Death Note. What does Ryuk want? Ryuk wants not to be bored.

Thus, to live, Light needs to not be boring.

Light needs to entertain.

And hey, Light is already doing something that a) is designed to give long-term meaning to his life and that b) is so grandiose it will probably make the shinigami want to not kill him immediately.

Thus Light needs to become the God of the New World™.

_____

Special thanks to my friend casuistor’s meta Supernova which a bunch of these conclusions are lifted wholesale from and which has many more game-changing thoughts about Light Yagami and is absolutely worth the read.

#answers #luna thinks

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chaptersinprogress · 5 years

Text

dissolution

Xanxus stared into his glass. After a moment or two, he threw back the shot and set it onto the table.

“I, Xanxus di Vongola, formally announce the intention of the dissolution of the Squadra killer autonoma di Vongola IX.”

Tsuna dropped his own glass in shock.

Rating: T

Warnings: mentions of death, swearing

Pairings: NIL

Prompt: Pick a random word from a dictionary. Now, using that word as the title, write a story that fits the definition - @short-story-slam

Part 2 of ashes-to-ashes!verse

Dissolution:

The act of formally ending a parliament, business, or marriage

The act of breaking up an organisation, institution ect. so that it no longer exists

The process by which something gradually becomes weaker and disappears

The papers were tossed on Tsuna’s table with a thump.

Used to the kind of treatment, Tsuna simply set aside the rest of his paperwork, arranging the mess into a neat pile. He left the papers which had been unceremoniously dropped onto his desk untouched and waited for the Varia boss to speak his mind.

Xanxus looked back at the man who had become Vongola Decimo. As he took in the hard set of the his shoulders and the permanent calm that he wore, the assassin no longer saw the kid who shrieked at everything that went bump in the night and who had not dared look him in the eye. The baby boss had grown so much over the years. Most of it not by choice.

“Zio,” Tsuna prompted.

They had all grown older.

Xanxus stood up and strode towards the drinks cabinet. He pulled out two glasses and spent a minute or two searching for a suitable drink. Tsuna waited patiently. Finally locating a bottle which pleased him, he brought the things over and poured a shot of whiskey for each of them.

He jerked his head towards the papers Tsuna had left unread. “We hunted down the last of the Baldinotti scum.”

Tsuna nodded slowly. It was a relief that they had been able to take down such a dangerous enemy. But it did not make the ache of loss hurt any less. He had thought he had known it after his trip to the Future-that-never-was, but that had never come close to the real thing. He watched as Xanxus slowly turned the glass in his hands.

The Varia boss seemed to be, for the first time that he had known him, hesitating about something.

“Is there anything else?” he asked softly.

Xanxus stared into his glass. After a moment or two, he threw back the shot and set it onto the table.

“I, Xanxus di Vongola, formally announce the intention of the dissolution of the Squadra killer autonoma di Vongola IX.”

Tsuna dropped his own glass in shock. It bounced off the table and emptied its contents into his lap, soaking his tie, shirt and slacks.

“Zio?” Tsuna whispered, feeling more than a little betrayed. “You’re leaving?”

Xanxus shook his head.

“It is time to retire the title. We will still remain Vongola’s independent assassination squad. We decided that there is no point in proclaiming loyalty to a dead man. Especially since we have always acted independently in the first place.”

“But zio - ”

“He was right you know?” Xanxus cut Tsuna off. “That it wouldn’t bloody change anything. That the pain would not lessen even after the satisfaction of crushing the fucking scum into the ground where they would rot.”

He let out a bitter laugh.

“That was the fucking reason I lead the Cradle.”

Tsuna jerked backwards, the facade of calm falling apart as he recalled the terrible experience he had endured during the mishap with the Ten Year Bazooka. He had realised that there was a lot more to the story of the Cradle Affair that no one knew. At the time he had never dared ask, and there hadn’t been an appropriate time to do so even after his relationship with Xanxus had improved. Guilt and shame had also played a part.

“I’d always known that I couldn’t be his child. Nobody takes a gutter rat and throws him into a mansion. The old fart had only been interested in my power. It gave him a convenient backdoor to protect his sons.”

Xanxus poured himself another shot. When all did Tsuna did was gape at him still, he scowled and tossed a handkerchief at his dumbstruck face. Tsuna shook the piece of cloth off his head and started to dab at his clothes futilely.

“For all I had disliked him, I loved my brothers. And if it meant I had to masquerade as a weak link to anyone trying to use me to get to the Vongola, well I still fucking did it.”

His eyes gleamed like rubies in firelight as they burned with the Flame of Wrath that he was known for.

“We had arranged everything, the diary and the trashed room, all so that we could smoke out the assassins trying to target the heirs. By then, Rico was the only one still alive. We knew some of the names of the famiglias behind them, but we were still missing some key players. I wanted to force the answers out of them, but Nono and Rico refused, ‘cause of fucking politics.”

Snarling, he chucked the glass at the wall where it shattered. “Fat lot of fucking good that did! They got to Rico anyway.”

Tsuna watched the alcohol stain the wallpaper. His mind spun as the pieces started to fall into place. Nono, Xanxus, and the three heirs had all known the truth. They had used Xanxus’ introduction into Vongola as a trap to identify those who would see his ambition and pride as an easy in to destroy the famiglia. The Varia boss had been their Trojan Horse. But he had also cared deeply about his brothers from his reaction, though his relationship with Nono seemed like it had never been very good in the first place.

“Even then, the bloody fool didn’t want to move against them. His hands were tied,” mocked Xanxus. “I decided that if the old fart didn’t have the guts to lead Vongola against those who attacked us again and again, I’d take it from him and do things the way it should’ve fucking been done in the first place.”

The penny dropped.

The coup had been Xanxus’ grab for power, not because he wanted the title of Decimo for himself, but because he’d wanted vengeance for his dead brothers.

Tsuna said slowly, “And Nono couldn’t have that.”

Xanxus slumped back into his chair, all the fight leaving him. He looked as if he had aged another 20 years in 2 seconds. Beneath the shadow of grief, Tsuna could see the 16-year-old boy who had only been allowed to watch as he had lost all his brothers one by one.

“No,” he sighed heavily. “It was probably for the best."

Tsuna stood quickly, his chair toppling over from the sudden motion. How could Xanxus say something like that?! Tsuna wouldn’t wish the agony of the Zero Point technique on anybody, not even his worst enemy!

“No!” he cried out, striding towards Xanxus and kneeling in front of him. “What he did was terrible! No one should have to go through that. No matter what!”

He grabbed his zio’s hand and pressed it against his forehead. Oh how he had wronged Xanxus. Both him and Nono.

“I’m so sorry,” he choked out. “I-I didn’t know what it was like, and I still did it to you. Twice!” He looked up at Xanxus and pleaded. “Forgive me.”

Xanxus stood, pulling Tsuna up to his feet, and rested a heavy hand on his shoulder. “There is nothing to forgive nipote. I don’t fucking doubt for one minute that it was not your idea. You were only making do with what you were told.”

He snorted amusedly, “If you hadn’t, I would’ve fucking killed you.”

Tsuna gave him a watery smile and huffed a small laugh. Yeah, his zio would’ve done that.

Xanxus tightened his grip on his nephew’s shoulder and reminded him gently, “Our decision is final. The title will be retired.”

Tsuna nodded solemnly. He would respect their wishes. Xanxus released his hold and turned to exit the room.

“Zio,” Tsuna called out, just as the Varia boss opened the door. “I’m sorry for your loss. We will all miss him.”

Xanxus turned to look at the Decimo.

“The man I might have considered a father had already died long ago,” he replied quietly, before shutting the door behind him.

#chaptersinprogress #short story slam 2019 #katekyo hitman reborn #khr #fanfiction #fanfic #xanxus #sawada tsunayoshi #tsuna #vongola nono #timoteo #cradle affair #dissolution #ashes to ashes

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tessatechaitea · 5 years

Text

Batman #440

Look at this beautiful cover! I don't know why I even read modern comics.

But don't worry! He's The Batman! He doesn't know what the word "mortal" means!

Some kid on a bike stood off in the distance taking pictures of Batman battling Ravager. At least I'm assuming it's a kid simply because he rode their on his BMX. He might also be a DUI. Whatever, the kid slash drunk with a suspended license rides seems to know Batman is actually Bruce Wayne and that Dick Grayson is Robin and/or Nightwing. Hopefully he captured the moment Batman kicked Ravager off of the dam and into the churning water below so that when The Ravager's body turns up, Batman can finally be exposed for the fraud he almost certainly is! Nobody fights crime for years, beating the shit out of everybody he meets, without killing a couple of criminals! Batman just can't admit that he's killed anybody at this point because Superman would have a field day lording it over him.

Oh! I wonder if the little girl spelled the name of my blog?! Good for her!

How is a conservative supposed to enjoy this Batman comic book after Wolman takes that shot at George Bush?! Ha ha! That was a rhetorical question. I don't really care if a conservative can't enjoy this comic book now. Get fucked, snowflakes! Some guy's radio convinces him to kill Batman. Again, I guess, since it looks like he's the one who sent Ravager after Batman. Is he also the guy on the bike? I don't know! It's possible I'm supposed to have figured out who this guy is six pages in but I'd hate to truly believe that because then I'd have to admit I'm stupid. And there's one thing a stupid person will never admit to being is stupid! Just try it! Call somebody you know is stupid stupid and see how quickly they retort, "I am not! I'm smart!" Then call a smart person stupid and watch how they just smugly laugh in your face and go about their business. It's the easiest intelligence test in the world! By the way, I'm not stupid! Batman crawls back to Wayne Manor where Alfred is ready to give him a good doctoring.

Oh, did I say "doctoring"? I meant "buggering".

Look, I said I wasn't stupid! I know Alfred isn't really fucking Batman in the ass in that picture. It's actually just Batman vomiting up the bed sheets he ate earlier. Alfred looks on at Bruce sleeping after the "doctoring" and thinks, "He looks so tired. He has since Jason passed away." "Passed away"?! Jason was brutally murdered by The Joker! Stop being so passive in your language! I mean, you even say "he looks so tired" instead of admitting the man is fucking exhausted! Fuck, why do I expect anything but passivity from the man who allowed a traumatized child to turn into a violent, obsessive, death-wish holding, bat-cosplaying maniac?! Send that kid to counseling, you idiot! My version of DC's Zero Hour would have led to a Batman had counseling as a child and became more noble and non-violent than even Superman. A man who used his money to help his community to actually get better rather than reliving the pain and trauma of his youth night after night. And Superman would been found by the Kents who wouldn't have taken him illegally into their family. They would have run him through the system where he would have become a bitter and cynical child of the American foster program. He'd be even grimmer than Return of the Dark Knight Batman! Wonder Woman would still be Wonder Woman but instead of using the invisible technology for her jet, she'd have used it for her costume. Oh! I just realized the stupid kid on the bike is Tim Drake! I think I remember him getting his Robin series with the fancy covers during my first year of college. I probably would have remembered this earlier if it hadn't been thirty years since I read this comic book and also I was better at retaining DC history!

This was the clue that made me remember Tim Drake!

If I scan all of the panels where Dick Grayson's first name is used innocently in a way that makes me laugh, I won't have time for any inciteful commentary! And yes I spelled it that way on purpose. I've been doing this gig for eight years and I'm fairly certain I can take credit for five different riots.

Sometimes?! SOMETIMES you wonder?! You should be kissing Alfred's ass every fucking morning you wake up alive, you ingrate!

Alfred lectures Batman about how careless he's become since Jason's death. Instead of responding by saying, "No, you're right, Alfred. I've been a wreck," or "It might be twenty years too late but maybe I should look into therapy," or even, "Alfred, I know you care. But somebody has to protect the people of Gotham," he doesn't say a thing. He just sits there grinding his teeth angrily pouting. Alfred must not have perfected his tough love approach pre-Zero Hour. Alfred's words have an effect on Batman. He slows down the next night and thinks with his head instead of whatever he was thinking with before. He said that, not me! He was looking at his fists when he said it but you know what his head was thinking about. Using the detective part of his repertoire, Batman finally realizes that Two-Face is behind the attempts on his life. He curses himself because it should have been obvious. But it's only obvious after you realize Two-Face is behind it! I mean, I almost figured it out on the second (2nd!) page when Batman thought, "The Ravager, in the past two weeks he had killed as many policemen." If only I had gone on the rant I was going to go on about that only being two cops (which, obviously, is two too many! Whew! Good thing I said that before the Blue Lives Matters bullies descended upon me!). Maybe I would have been all, "Only 2 cops! Over 2 weeks! And this clue on the 2nd page. OH MY GOD! Two-Face!" Tim Drake decides to hunt down Nightwing because he knows how much Batman needs Dick. But he doesn't find him at Titans Tower nor at his apartment which he shares with Starfire. Although Tim does remain on stakeout watching Kory through his binoculars until after she's showered. I think Tim Drake just discovered a dick he hadn't been looking for! Is that inappropriate? He's like twelve or something right? I think making a boner joke about a twelve year old is okay. I just thought, for a second, he might be eight or nine. That would be crossing some kind of imaginary line that I can't see but everybody else seems to notice for me all of the time, judging by all of their judging. Batman #440 Rating: A. Yeah, I know, right?! I gave a comic book written by Marv Wolfman an A! But it was co-plotted by George Perez who probably had all the good ideas, like the Alfred lecture and the Two-Face reveal and keeping Tim Drake's identity a mystery by having the reader look through his eyes and avoiding putting him in rooms with a mirror. Not that anybody would recognize him! I mean, they might. I think he was introduced a few issues prior to this. But who pays that close attention to comic books?! Fucking nerds, that's who! I'm using the term "nerd" in the 80s sense where it's a devastating insult that means your head is about to be shoved into a toilet bowl hopefully devoid of urine or feces and not the modern use of the word nerd where people use it as some kind of cutesy brag that they're into nerd culture. "Oh, I'm such a nerd! Tee hee!" Man, I wish every ticket to Avengers End Game came with a surprise swirly on the way to the theater! Just for the, you know, authenticity! People should have to remember the actual consequences nerds had to once deal with!

#Batman #Marv Wolfman #Jim Aparo #George Perez #DC Comics #DC #Tim Drake #A Lonely Place of Dying #Comic Book Reviews

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of-storms-and-sadness · 5 years

Text

Of Storms And Sadness 4

There was a girl once in Daryl Dixon’s life. She was his almost, but as life is, it teared her away from him long before she could become more than that. Years later, in the midst of all the chaos of the dead world, Mae Peterson walks right back into Daryl’s life, when he needs her most. Problem is, Mae is now one of Negan’s wives.

Though the girl never faltered in renouncing the life of comfort and safety beside Negan, risking her own life in order to give Daryl his freedom back, will that be enough to bring the two back together?

Pairing: none so far (Daryl x Mae eventually)

Warnings: Language (Mae does slightly overuse the word fuck and she tends to get quite creative with her insults ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ), violence

Words: 1640

Chapters: 4/?

Notes: THE rescue mission! :)

It was at sunrise that Negan and most of his men left for The Kingdom, just like Dwight said they would. Dwight left with them, leaving Fat Joey in charge of Daryl. It was a good thing - Joey’s infatuation with Mae being the very base of her whole plan, for of all Negan's men, Joey was the one she could always wrap around her finger with ease. Not that she did, but it was good to know she could. Merle should've left too, but got stuck in the shithouse, according to plan.

The compound was still silent, most people still not ready to start their day. Their truck was parked and packed ready in the backyard, near the exit, every single thing so far going just as Mae intended. Steps heavy on her way to Daryl's cell, she wiped her sweaty palms to the pockets of her dress, right before she made the final turn, heels thumping on the grey floor tiles.

"Joey honey, thank god!” The blonde exclaimed, nervously tugging on her braided hair, while she wondered if she was over-acting it. “Where the fuck is everyone?" she continued, not allowing the man to answer, "There's some shit in the dining hall, some guys picked a fight with a few others, and I can't find Negan, or Dwight or Merle or fucking anybody!"

At this point, her nerves did the trick, bringing her to the very edge of a panic attack and Mae didn't even have to fake the panic in her voice anymore, the slight tremble making her sound like she's about to crack down and cry. And it worked wonderfully, Joey being her knight in shining armor, and running right towards the dining hall, leaving Mae in charge of the cell keys and the prisoner, just in case. Because, who would've figured that the sweet blue-eyed blonde, the sweetest one of Negan's wife's, was up to no good? Someone might've, since she was never very good at playing a damsel in distress, but not Fat Joey.

She had to act quickly now, getting Daryl out of the cell and into the truck undetected, and that'll be half of the work already done. All Merle had to do was drive that truck out of the Sanctuary, never showing his ass here again, leaving her alone once more. Her heart clenched at the thought, but she decided staying back was the best thing to do, in case the two get caught and end up needing someone on the inside. It's where things turned south. Unlocking the door, Mae paused, a handful of thoughts invading her troubled head --

What happens next? What if Daryl doesn’t even remember or recognize her? It’s a possibility, it’s been so long. What if, to the man who was her first and remained her only love, she was just a distraction? What if that’s why he never came after her?

Taking a deep breath, she shook her head and turned the key, pushing the door open. Seeing the state Daryl was in nearly broke her heart. It awoke such anger within her, making her suddenly unsure of being able to stay here without setting this whole place on fire. She had her good days here, but this...she'd change every single one of the good days for Daryl to escape this fucking torture they were putting him through. The fucking fuck that escaped her lips was just a tiny bit too loud, the kick to the door just a tiny bit too strong. Mae was never very good at controlling her anger. Noise attracts people, and attracting people was the last thing she needed now. She grabbed a blanket from the chair in the hallway and gently wrapped it around Daryl, covering those old rags he had on, rushing him to get up and run.

All she had wanted in that moment was to hold him, for a second at least, but the sound of footsteps approaching made her set her priorities straight in an instant, pushing Daryl out of the cell and down the hall. His safety was way more important now than her confusing feelings were.

"Just run, Merle's waiting outside with a truck. Hop in and hide," but he kept hesitating, waiting for Mae to follow. The approaching footsteps were becoming louder and louder, and there was no time left to wait or hesitate. Mae froze when a guy showed up around the corner, gun ready in his hands and Daryl still not out of the hall, then she forced herself to react. If he fired the gun, Mae knew the shot would alert everyone, giving Merle and Daryl zero chance of getting out. It's why she reached for her knife, one always safely tucked in her pocket, or boot, or wherever she could tuck it in, throwing herself at the man and digging the blade to the side of his neck. The gurgling sound made her nauseous, but she had to remain assembled. Eyes circled the hall, catching sight of Daryl coming back towards her, while another set of footsteps echoed down the halls, these being slow and unsuspecting. Fat Joey’s.

"Shit, Daryl. You should've been out of here by now." But now that he was there, he might as well help her pull the bleeding guy into the cell. Having done that, Mae locked the door, cramming the key to the pocket of her dress, just as a well-known face emerged down the hall, meeting her gaze.

“I can explain…” she stuttered, raising her hands up. “Just don’t….fuck, just don’t do anything stupid Joey, okay?”

He seemed terrified, eyes stuck on Mae’s blood-stained figure, the knife still in her hand. For a moment there, she wondered if he was terrified of the two of them, or was it dread of things Negan might do once he finds out that he had lost a prisoner, a lieutenant, and a wife on Joey’s watch. Either way, she knew Joey was screwed. If circumstances were any different, she’d care. Right now, her mind was focused solely on getting Daryl out of the Sanctuary. And as she stood there, gaze stuck to Joey’s horror-struck expression, time slipping by, it was Daryl that grabbed the pipe leaned to the wall and rushed towards the other man, Mae remaining frozen as she watched Joey slip into nothingness from the impact. Daryl would’ve kept on hitting, but Mae locked her eyes with his and grabbed his hand, pulling him behind her towards their salvation. He pulled away for a moment, reaching to grab Joey's gun, then grabbed her hand back, running to the door. After the thing they just did, she sure as hell couldn't stay here and talk her way out of trouble.

Once in the back of the truck, she covered both Daryl and her with a blanket, signaling Merle to get going.

Passing the gates went turbulence free, Merle's shithouse story probably being the most exciting part of the guard's day. If only they knew what the day will bring…

And just like that, the trio left the grey walls behind, dashing down the road into the great unknown.

The silence in the back of the truck was nerve wrenching, Mae wanting nothing more than to wrap her arms around the crestfallen figure of the man sitting opposed to her, but something kept pulling her back, eyes staring blankly into her feet. Merle had been driving for a while now, and neither Mae nor Daryl spoke a word.

And though she just made her first kill, not counting the walkers, and though she witnessed Daryl murdering Joey in a way that made her blood run cold, all she could think of was the lost time. Things that could’ve been, but never have, probably never will. Damn, if he ever wanted anything, he would’ve reached out, would’ve come. Heaven knows how many times her heart broke at the thought during her years in Atlanta. But things were the way they were. And though she always knew he cared, he probably never cared that much. Not enough to leave Merle behind.

Head still bowed down, her eyes slowly drifted towards Daryl, suddenly realizing how selfish it was to dig through the past in a moment like this. The state Daryl was in made her wonder if he needed her to step up now, beat her fears and just be there, or should she just keep her distance, let him be, let him breathe? Who knows what he was put through?

Finally, she sighed and leaned forward, crouching on her knees towards Daryl, and placed her hands on his shoulders, her touch ever so soft, still making the man wince. She gasped, pulling her hands away, but placed them right back. Some things never change, she thought, his reaction not being anything new to her.

Creeping closer, hands sliding up his shoulders, she locked them behind his back, pulling him in. His head fell on her shoulder, and he kept it there for a moment, before entombing it in the crook of her neck, without making a sound.

They stayed like this, locked together like two pieces of a puzzle, the sound of the truck rolling down the road the only thing disturbing the silence. Then Merle swerved to the left, slowing down on the rocky side road, and stopping eventually.

Mae gently pulled away from Daryl, wanting to hop out and see what’s going on, when Merle’s voice announced a possible trouble coming their way.

“Looks like we’ve got company!” – the man said, and Mae closed her eyes, praying for it not to be the man they were running from.

Okay so -- they’re out! But who’s coming their way? Will it be a friendly face?

Tell me whatcha think? :)

Taglist: @jodiereedus22

(in case anyone else wants to be tagged, just let me know :)

#daryl dixon #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon imagines #daryl fanfiction #daryl x oc #merle dixon #negan #the walking dead #the walking dead fanfiction #twd #twd fanfiction

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commentaryvorg · 5 years

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Danganronpa V3 Commentary: Part 3.3

Be aware that this is not a blind playthrough! This will contain spoilers for the entire game, regardless of the part of the game I’m commenting on. A major focus of this commentary is to talk about all of the hints and foreshadowing of events that are going to happen and facts that are going to be revealed in the future of the story. It is emphatically not intended for someone experiencing the game for their first time.

Last time, in what is probably my favourite segment of chapter 3 in that it makes the most of Kaito before he becomes non-functional for the rest of it, we hung out with him and established his very unique definition of the word “sidekick”, then he promptly made Maki into one of said sidekicks by dragging her to training and convincing her to begin to change, even if she isn’t quite admitting that to anyone yet.

We start off the day with everyone being called to the gym for what is going to be the presentation of the next, uh, “motive”.

Kaito: “Nah, I’m going. I just gotta take care of something first, then I’ll meet you there.”

Shuichi: (Kaito pointed at the door to Maki’s room. I suppose he’s going to take her.)

Kaito is still constantly thinking of Maki, assuming that she still won’t want to take part in anything that involves the whole group and making a point of persuading her to do so. Partly this time it’s because she might get in trouble with Monokuma (or, well, the kubs) if she doesn’t come, but also it’s because he’s still trying to get her to feel included.

Kiyo: “I usually wake up at 6:00 a.m., since it takes me so long to get ready each morning.”

Shuichi: (Why does it take so long? Isn’t that even longer than what a girl takes?)

While this is obviously meant to be taken as a hint at Kiyo’s true nature of being “possessed” by his sister, I should also point out that this is an example of Shuichi being vaguely misogynistic, with the way he’s assuming that obviously girls always take longer than boys to get ready in the morning. Just goes to show that these kinds of lines really shouldn’t be taken as anything particularly telling about the character who says them unless they’re clearly connected to something that’s been strongly established about that character, and should instead just be considered a scattered background noise of Danganronpa’s awkward writing.

(This game’s writers should be perfectly aware of the fact that some guys can take a while to get ready in the morning too, given Kaito, who probably takes forever to get his hair like that.)

…Oh boy. I’m about to talk to Himiko, on this particular morning, while carrying at least one Gun of Man’s Passion. Here we fucking go. Welcome to another one of the many stupid things in this chapter that contribute to it being the worst one.

Shuichi: (Suddenly, a thought flashed into my mind! A… man’s… fantasy… Wh-Where is this thought coming from?)

You know where I think this thought is coming from? A Flashback Light. The half-balding Monokuma shows up out of nowhere to stare intently at Shuichi before he suddenly has this thought. It’s already been established that Flashback Light properties can be in other things, such as the Kubs Pads. Why not Monokuma’s eyes?

It should be obvious that peeking on the girls is so ridiculously out of character for Shuichi that he would never even remotely consider it under normal circumstances. Him not being that kind of person is literally a vital plot point – if Shuichi were someone who’d happily peek on girls, then he also wouldn’t have had a problem with going into the girls’ bathroom to check it for hidden passages for the sake of detective thoroughness, and this whole killing game would have ended without anyone (except maybe Rantaro) dying.

So there should be a very good reason that Shuichi would suddenly have this thought that isn’t just the game’s terrible writing for the sake of fanservice. I appreciate that the game hints at the true reason with the way Shuichi wonders where this thought came from. He even specifically uses the word “flashed” to describe it appearing.

…It’s still not great, because even if the game tries to hint towards this being in-universe terrible writing for the sake of fanservice, that… doesn’t actually make any sense. The in-universe audience are “playing” as Keebo, not Shuichi. And maybe they also have access to some of the Nanokumas’ feeds for if they get bored of watching Keebo, but then they’d be able to peep on the girls themselves without Shuichi needing to get involved.

Anyway, I declined the decision to actually go and do so, because Shuichi is better than that (and I have precisely zero things to say about the fanservice part itself). Resist the Flashback Light, Shuichi! Don’t let yourself become a badly-written vehicle for fanservice!

Shuichi: (No… I shouldn’t be peeking. I can’t let Monokuma manipulate me…)

This is also pretty telling. That’s exactly what Monokuma was trying to do.

Even though she came to the gym, Maki is still standing at the outskirts, apart from everybody else.

Kokichi: “Hey guys, am I sleepwalking or something? What’s she doing here?”

There’d been a little bit of conversation in the gym before Kokichi said this, and nobody else cared that Maki was here. Even if they’re scared of her, they accept that she should be at compulsory gatherings. Only Kokichi is still being a dick and trying to insist that she’s the awfulest terriblest person who shouldn’t be allowed near anyone for any reason.

Kaito: “Don’t say something so stupid. You’ll never get to know her better if you never talk to her!”

Kaito is so damn right. Communication is important! If you don’t understand someone, then make an effort to learn instead of automatically assuming the worst of them! Kaito himself is always trying to understand the people around him, but he sees it as important enough that he believes everyone else should do so too.

Kokichi: “Maybe everyone would prefer that this dangerous killer stays far away from us!”

But of course Kokichi is convinced that even if they did get to know her better it’d only confirm that she’s a horrible person who should stay away from them, because he can’t ever not automatically assume the worst of everyone.

Kokichi: “Of course, I wouldn’t prefer that at all!”

…Yeah, right, when you’re the only person who even complained that she’s here today and have been the most unshakably convinced that she’s dangerous out of anyone.

As I’ve mentioned a few times before, Kokichi’s really just a gigantic coward.

Angie: “Nyahaha! It doesn’t matter what the motive is, we will not do the killing game anymore.”

Tenko: “Th-That’s right! We aren’t afraid of anything anymore!”

Heh, look at Tenko stuttering a little as she agrees with Angie, because she’s not really on her side. She does agree that they shouldn’t do the killing game, of course, but she’s really not okay with Angie’s methods.

Monophanie: “This motive will inspire fear like never before.”

It technically will, but… only to Kaito, not to anybody else.

So, uh, let’s talk about this supposed resurrection right now. The Monokubs insist that it is possible to do so, even though we never confirm or deny this because Angie never finishes the ritual. First time around, this claim was yet another thing that made me think of the virtual reality angle, but I was still sceptical that they’d pull that again when it wouldn’t be a surprise this time. However, knowing the full truth of the situation, even though it’s not a virtual reality, it still… might be possible to resurrect people? Sort of.

What it comes down to is how good cloning technology is in this universe and whether Team Danganronpa have the ability to clone someone and then speed-grow that clone to match the original’s physical age. If they could do that, they could have pre-made clones of everyone, then take the relevant person’s clone and flash them with a Flashback Light of their backstory, plus memories of everything that happened in the killing game until their death. That would accurately recreate that character and make it look like they’d come back from the dead.

If they don’t have this cloning technology, it’d still be technically possible, but the “resurrected” person would have an entirely different physical appearance to before, because Team Danganronpa would have to use some volunteer who’s willing to die and give up their body to be on Danganronpa (which we know there’s more than enough people wanting to do). But they’d still be the same character, if they were shown the same Flashback Light as the original character was.

However, it’s much less obvious how this is in any way supposed to be a motive for murder. (Yes, Monodam is claiming it’s actually a motive to “get along”, but we all know Monokuma is still really calling the shots and would have presented the same motive if he’d been here.) The real motive for this chapter already exists, in Kiyo’s lab, because the writers were lazy and decided it’s time to have a murder be caused by the fact that one of the cast is already a serial killer anyway. The only way in which the Necronomicon could be related to that motive is if it isn’t going to successfully resurrect anyone, and the writers are assuming that after it fails, Kiyo will use that as an excuse to offer a seance to at least talk to the person they were trying to resurrect.

Kaito: “D-Don’t say such a stupid thing! There’s no way resurrecting the dead is possible! I-It just can’t happen…”

Oh, Kaito. This is the point at which we lose him – in terms of his ability to be his usual self – for most of the rest of this chapter. Which also might be one of the reasons I’m not as personally fond of this chapter. Less Kaito is always going to be less fun than more Kaito.

Shuichi: “What’s wrong, Kaito? You don’t look well…”

Kaito: “N-No… it’s nothing. I’m just… not feeling so good.”

Shuichi: (All of a sudden?)

Aww, Shuichi already noticing something’s wrong and being worried. He’s also perceptive enough to pick up on the fact that it happened oddly suddenly. Kaito is of course trying to just play it off as not a big deal and just him feeling a bit unwell – but really, that’s not such an inaccurate way of describing it.

Angie claims the resurrection ritual might actually mean that all the dead bodies so far have been fake.

Tenko: “They were imitations? I-I see… I never would have thought of that!”

Tenko clearly does not actually think that at all and kind of hates having to pretend to mindlessly agree with Angie.

The writing in the courtyard has had more added to it. So I suppose at this point, Kokichi has begun his plan to try and gradually drop hints that he’s the mastermind.

We witness Gonta getting brainwashed by Angie in like two minutes flat in front of everyone. It’s not surprising that it’d be so quick for him, because he’s so naïve and easily manipulated.

Angie: “Nyahahaha! See how much everyone needs you, Gonta? You should definitely join.”

Gonta: “…You need Gonta? Okay! Gonta join student council too!”

Poor Gonta – he just desperately wants to be able to protect everyone and to be useful, but he has no idea how to do that on his own. So the moment anyone tells him that him doing a certain thing will be helpful to everyone, he immediately jumps at the chance to do so without questioning it. It happened last chapter thanks to Kokichi, and now it’s happening again.

Angie apparently already brainwashed Keebo, Tsumugi and Tenko at some point yesterday. Out of these three, Tenko and Tsumugi are both only pretending to be brainwashed (for very different reasons), so only Keebo actually needed brainwashing, but still, Angie would have had to at least go through the motions at Tenko and Tsumugi before they could believably start acting that way.

Kokichi: “But… I’m surprised Tenko decided to join the student council.”

Kokichi has clearly figured out that Tenko never would and she’s just pretending. He’s probably trying to call her out on her lie, but she manages to handwave it for now.

Shuichi: (It’s true that they’re probably not going to listen, but you could at least help too, Kaito…)

Kaito: “…”

Shuichi: (What’s wrong with him? He’s been quiet this whole time.)

Shuichi knows Kaito more than well enough to know that he would usually be objecting to this! The general message of this student council is that nobody should think for themselves except Angie, which is exactly the kind of thing that Kaito would have some very pointed thoughts about if he were functional right now. It’s kind of a shame that we have to miss out on those.

As everyone disperses from the gym, Kaito is feeling bad enough that he holes himself up in his room and is going to be there for the rest of this chapter’s free time. That said, it turns out you can actually hang out with him during this one first slot today, although not the rest of them. I guess he at least tries to make the effort at first but then gives up because his phobia starts getting to him too much for him to want to spend any significant amount of time in front of Shuichi and risk him noticing.

This is also the first point at which you can hang out with Maki! The thing she needed for her to finally be willing to open up was Kaito getting through to her last night.

Maki: “…Sure.”

Shuichi: “Really!?”

Maki: “…What’s with your reaction? You’re the one who invited me.”

Shuichi: “S-Sorry, I was just surprised. I honestly thought you’d reject me.”

Maki: “…All this time, I assumed I was just going to train with two idiots, you and Kaito… And I thought it’d be faster to give in to Kaito’s demands…”

Nope, Maki, you’re not just going to train with them, you’re going to be friends with them now! I like that there’s this whole exchange between them here, properly addressing the fact that Maki hasn’t been willing to hang out before but is now, and that Shuichi still wasn’t even sure if she’d be up for it. It’s by far the longest pre-FTE invitation dialogue in the game (this isn’t even all of it), but it deserves that.

However, as much as I would really like to because this exchange definitely makes this feel like the most appropriate time for Shuichi to start hanging out with Maki, I’m… not going to just yet. I’m still trying to make the FTEs I do line up with canon as much as possible, and if I do this now, I won’t be able to get that to work, for reasons I’ll explain later.

So instead, we’re hanging out with Gonta again. Partly this is just because since I’ve started his events I intend to finish them, but also we can pretend that Shuichi is once again worried about Gonta and trying to drag him away from being brainwashed by someone. He has become a one-man Protect Gonta From Manipulation Squad. (Just not a very successful one.)

Gonta: “Shuichi, you should join student council! Work hard with Gonta to help everyone!”

Shuichi: (Should I hang out with Gonta for a while?) [Yes]

Gonta: “Hehe… Gonta so happy that Angie and others need Gonta’s help.”

Guuuhhhh. Gonta just sees the student council as an automatic force for good because its members say so while being completely incapable of noticing how sinister it all is. He’s not even particularly into the Atua part of it – he just wants to be useful.

(Since Gonta’s in the A/V room right now, he and Shuichi end up watching a bug documentary together to help Gonta fill up on fight. Not sure how much Shuichi appreciated that, but at least he was polite enough not to complain.)

Shuichi: “What do you think a ‘gentleman’ is, Gonta?”

Gonta: “Gentleman excellent man! Best man, even!”

Gonta’s not very good at articulating it, but this really is the core of what it means to him. It’s not about doing specific things so much as it’s about being the best kind of person you can possibly be.

Gonta: “Gentleman behave like a gentleman! Kind, earnest, refined, polite…”

Gonta already is all of these things! Except maybe refined. These are things that are more in line with the traditional view of a gentleman than Gonta’s vague “the best person ever” description, but this is still a part of that. They’re the traits that Gonta values the most in people, both in himself and others (which is why he already has most of them in spades), so they’re the traits that he believes the best possible kind of person, aka a gentleman, would have.

It’s really very similar to Kaito’s concept of being a “man”. Kaito’s has a bit of a different focus to Gonta’s, being more about being true to yourself and sticking to your convictions, but then that makes sense, because those are the things Kaito values the most. His concept of manliness is, just like Gonta’s idea of being a gentleman, really all about simply striving to be the best kind of person you can be. And neither concept is inherently gendered, despite the words they each use for it.

Gonta: “Oh, and gentleman always treat lady with respect. That very important.”

…This part of Gonta’s is gendered, mind you.

Gonta: “And drink tea all the time! And say clever jokes!”

Shuichi: “…What?”

Gonta: “And solve mysteries with young sidekick!”

Shuichi: “Solve… mysteries?”

Gonta: “Gonta hear gentlemen go on adventures to find stone mask. And wear fancy tuxedos! And save ladies from danger!”

Now he’s getting off the main point, though. If Gonta just sticks to the basic principles involving being a good person, then he already is a gentleman. But if he goes assuming that he needs to be able to do all these things, then, uh, not so much.

Shuichi: “None of those people are gentlemen…”

Gonta: “Huh? Unpossible! Gonta do lots of gentleman research!”

Gonta couldn’t just stick to what he instinctively believes are traits that make you the best possible person you can be and felt like he had to go and look up exactly what being a gentleman entails, resulting in lots of conflicting ideas. That’s Gonta for you, never sure of himself.

Shuichi: “Perhaps your research was a bit misguided… All of those people are fictional, you see.”

Gonta: “Fictional?”

Shuichi: “Ah, as in, it was made up. Like a character from a fairy tale.”

Gonta: “I see… Gonta not know…”

It’s pretty interesting that Gonta doesn’t have a very good grasp of the concept of fiction! His forest family probably did tell fictional stories sometimes, because he seems to get it once Shuichi explains, but it probably wasn’t as prevalent in the forest as it is in human society, leading to him assuming all these fictional gentlemen were real.

I wonder how Gonta would have reacted to the chapter 6 reveal if he’d survived until then.

Gonta: “You know a lot about gentlemen, Shuichi…”

Shuichi: “What? Ah, not really…”

Gonta: “Yes, you do! Maybe you teach Gonta how to be gentleman!”

Yeah, not really; all Shuichi knew that Gonta didn’t was that those gentlemen he’d looked up were fictional. Gonta’s the one who’s done all this gentleman research and has been thinking constantly about what being a gentleman entails! He definitely knows plenty about what it means to be a gentleman – at least for himself – and shouldn’t need anyone else to tell him. If only he’d believe in his own convictions more.

Kaito: “Oh, it’s you, Shuichi. Sorry, it’s just… I’m pretty busy right now. Can you come by later?”

Busy doing what exactly, Kaito? Alone, in your room? Yeah, that’s a pretty transparent excuse. He just doesn’t want Shuichi to know that he’s not feeling well enough to hang out. Can’t have Shuichi worrying about him, not if he can avoid it.

Kaito: “Sorry, man. See ya later.”

Shuichi: (Kaito didn’t look very good… is he okay?)

…But Shuichi noticed that he doesn’t look well anyway, so Kaito’s excuse didn’t really work.

Keebo: “Angie is right. We should let go of our desire to escape. Then we can live here in peace…”

Keebo is standing right by the manhole leading to the escape tunnel as he says this. Makes me wonder if covering that up again like they do between now and tomorrow morning is actually Keebo’s idea, despite the claim that Angie’s the only one on the council allowed to have ideas.

Maki: “…If people see you talking to me, they’ll mistake you as a friend of an assassin.”

Maybe Shuichi wants to be a friend of this particular assassin, Maki! It’s heartbreaking how she’s still convinced she doesn’t deserve friends and Shuichi is better off staying away from her, even as she has actually started to accept his and Kaito’s company.

(Still not actually hanging out with her yet for the same reasons.)

Tsumugi: “Speaking of student councils… Fictional student councils usually have a huge amount of authority.”

Look who’s happy she’s managed to become part of her very own fictional student council.

Tenko: “If the writing in the courtyard is a message from the people who died… then why didn’t they write a more obvious message like ‘Help!’ or something?”

A very good point. Something Tenko couldn’t really voice while in front of the student council because she’s not supposed to be thinking for herself there.

Gonta: “If everyone dead is really alive… we gotta save them! No matter what!”

Shuichi: (Should I hang out with Gonta for a while?) [Yes]

Gonta: “Gonta be shield! Gonta be spear! Gonta be what everyone need!”

Awww, Gonta. He’s so desperate to be useful that he’s become willing to think of himself as an object for other people to use if that’s what they need him to be.

The conversation continues where the last one left off, with Gonta asking Shuichi to teach him how to be a gentleman. Shuichi somehow manages to convince him that that’s not a thing he’s capable of.

Gonta: “Oh… Even Shuichi no can teach Gonta…”

Shuichi: “Y-Yeah…” (I feel awful… I can’t let him stay down like this.)

Aww, Shuichi feels bad! He knows just how important it is to Gonta that he figures out how to be a gentleman somehow!

Shuichi asks why Gonta is so determined to become a gentleman in the first place, and Gonta explains that it’s for the sake of his forest family.

Gonta: “All Gonta know is, Gonta’s human family very famous, very respected.”

Shuichi: “Really!? Is that so…?”

Gonta: “So they get mad at Gonta. Say Gonta not worthy of family name. They blame Gonta’s forest family. Say it all their fault.”

Shuichi: (That’s awful… they should have been grateful for them taking care of you for a decade…)

Shuichi’s right; dick move, Gonta’s human family!

Gonta: “And Gonta love human family too. Gonta love human mother who birth him.”

Gonta, of course, is far too sweet and precious to be resentful of his human family for treating his forest family this way.

Gonta: “So Gonta think, become true gentleman! Then human family accept forest family! And… forest family also be proud of Gonta! See Gonta become such great gentleman!”

He’s so good! And it also explains more why last time, despite him having his own strong sense of what being a “gentleman” entails, he’d still done all sorts of research into what other people think a “gentleman” is – because he specifically wants to be the kind of gentleman that his human family would approve of, not just the kind of gentleman that is best for himself.

Shuichi: (But… even if Gonta does become a gentleman, his forest family would still… No, I shouldn’t put doubts in his head. He wants to do this so bad…)

Yeah, don’t go making him doubt himself. Especially since he’s never actually going to be able to do this anyway, partly because he’s not going to get out of here alive, but also partly because both of his families don’t actually exist. I’d say “maybe it’s for the best he never learns that”, but since he instead ends up learning that both his families apparently died in the apocalypse, actually, no, that’s even worse. Poor Gonta.

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