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lilacs-fandom-garden · 3 years

Text

Incorrect Quotes 4

Ships:

Errorink (lol I dont have much Errorink in my posts still, sorry)

Kreme/Driller

Crossmare

Dustberry

Horrorlust

Scifell

Afterdeath

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Geno, to Ink: I dare you to—

Dream: Ink isn’t allowed to accept dares.

Ink: Apparently I have ”no regard for my personal safety”

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Dust: Do you miss the imagination of childhood?

Cross: I never had one.

Dust: An imagination or a childhood?

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Horror: *accidentally hits Error in the face*

Horror: *trying to decide between saying “I’m fucking sorry” and “are you okay?”

Horror: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!

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Killer: Do you like my outfit?

Dream: Not as much as I like what's underneath it.

Killer, blushing: I- Dre-

Dream: I need your chair. Get up.

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Horror: Do you know when you know someone, and you see that they have another, like, life away from you and it feels weird?

Dust: Like when you see your teacher in the grocery store weird, or like when someone you’ve known for a long time starts wearing a cowboy hat weird?

Horror: The… The first thing weird

Dust: Oh, that’s good, ‘Cause I was thinking about getting a cowboy hat

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Cross: You read my diary?!

Dream: At first, I didn’t know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.

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Lust: Sorry, but you're under arrest for robbery.

Horror: What did I steal?

Lust, trying not to cry: My heart

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Dream: Killer and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us

Cross: *Sighing* What did Killer do?

Dream: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...

Killer: Who wants a steering wheel?

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Dream: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?

Killer: *chugs entire bottle*

Killer: It’s perfume.

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Killer, watching the news: Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today.

Dream: *walks in covered with ink* Well, maybe the squid was being a jerk!

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Killer, tending to Dream's wounds: How would you rate your pain?

Dream: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

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Killer: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

Horror, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

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Dust: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao

Horror: What did you do!?

Dust: A MISTAKE

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Dust, addressing the squad: And if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box.

Horror: But – that’s just a trash can.

Dust: It sure is!

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Dream: With great power comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.

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Fell: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives

Sci: I wake up at 4:30 AM

Fell:

Fell: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

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Sci: If you were to vacuum up jello through a metal tube, well I think that’d be a neat noise

Fell: I beg to differ

Sci: Then Beg

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Dust: You’re a lying, cheating, piece of shit! You’re not the person I married!

Blue: Fine then! We’re getting a divorce! And i’m taking the kids!

Dream, pushing the monopoly board away from them: …maybe we should stop playing…

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Dream: I relate to Belle because she loves books and likes people for who they are!

Ink: I relate to Tinkerbell because she needs attention or she dies.

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Killer: *dials 911*

Killer: hey i hate to be “that guy” but i glued myself to the ceiling again

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Ink: Things have actually been going really well with Error. Our friendship is in a really good place.

Ink: Last week I said, “Did you know the weiner dog is neither a weiner nor a dog?” Instead of saying, “Shut up, Ink,” they said, “Okay.”

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Lust: *signs a legal document with a glitter gel pen*

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Horror, dumping out a shopping bag full of Lunchables onto the table: Tonight, we feast.

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Error or Nightmare: *kicks “G” off Graveyard sign*

Error or Nightmare: Let’s get this party started.

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Reaper: Did Geno just tell me they loved me for the first time?

Cross: Yeah.

Reaper: And did I do finger guns back?

Cross: Yeah, you did.

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Sci: Name one time I haven’t acted professional

Geno: You’re holding a juice box right now

Sci: It’s to stop me from spilling my juice.

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*The Bad Sanses response to I love you*

Killer: Thanks fam!

Horror: oh no

Dust: *cries* I love you too

Cross: Sounds fake but okay

Error: *A flustered mess*

Nightmare: can i get a refund

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Sci: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.

Blue: What if it bites me and it dies!?

Sci: Then you’re poisonous.

Dream: What if it bites itself and I die?

Sci: That’s voodoo.

Error: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Sci: That’s correlation, not causation.

Horror: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?

Ink & Killer at the same time: That’s kinky.

Sci: Oh my God.

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Blue: Truth or dare?

Lust: Dare

Blue: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room

Lust: Hey Ink.

Ink: Yeah?

Lust: Could you move? I’m trying to get to Geno.

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Killer: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me

Horror: Okay, but in my defense, Dust bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.

Killer: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

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*The group is getting into the car*

Lust: I’m driving.

Geno, out of view: Shotgun!

Sci, turning to face Geno: Aww! But you had it on the way here-

Everyone except Geno: WOAH-

Geno, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*

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A random stranger: Go to Hell

Nightmare, tearing up: I wish I could

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Error: Dear friends, your Christmas gift this year… is me. That’s right, another year of friendship. Your membership has been renewed.

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Blue: I’m going to defeat you with the power of friendship! ... And this knife I found.

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Dust: My life isn’t as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look like.

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Killer: You know how I roll.

Killer: And I’m not talking about that time I fell into a pile of dung at the foot of a hill.

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Dream: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But emotionally? Imagine the toll.

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Killer: You seem familiar, have I threatened you before?

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Blue: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.

Fell: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

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Horror: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running?

Dust: Oh, I’m always running

Dust: The question is from what

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Blue: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE

Fell: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially

Blue, desperately, as Fell bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Fell: Oh! B positive.

Blue: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Fell:

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Horror: So what’s for dinner?

Dust, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.

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Nightmare: Hey, you want some leftovers?

Cross: What's that?

Nightmare: You've never had leftovers???

Cross: No, because I'm not a quitter.

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Nightmare: You often use humor to deflect trauma

Cross: Thank you

Nightmare: I didn't say that was a good thing

Cross: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny

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Sci, pointing: May I sit there?

Fell: That's my lap

Sci: That doesn't answer my question, Fell.

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Blue: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life

Dream: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?

Blue: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.

Ink: edible

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'Can I copy the homework?'

Horror: I can help you with it!

Killer: Yeah, sure.

Dust: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.

Error: lol nope.

Cross: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!

Nightmare: *Read 5:55pm*

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Nightmare: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Horror: >:O language

Dust: Yeah watch your fucking language

Cross: OKAY WHO TAUGHT DUST THE FUCK WORD?

Error: 'The fuck word'.

Killer: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

Dust: Oh my god they censored it

Error: Say fuck, Killer.

Dust: Do it, Killer. Say fuck.

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Killer: Croissants: dropped

Horror: Road: works ahead

Dust: BBQ sauce: on my titties

Cross: Shavacado: fre

Error: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead

Nightmare:

Nightmare, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

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Nightmare: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.

Horror: Okay, but what is updog?

Dust: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.

Cross: Not, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.

Error: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.

Killer: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

Nightmare: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.

Cross: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

Dust: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.

Horror: What’s a henway??

Nightmare: Oh, about five pounds.

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Killer: Dumbest scar stories, go!

Horror: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.

Error: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.

Cross: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.

Dust: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.

Nightmare:

Nightmare: I have emotional scars.

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Killer: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*

Horror: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents

Killer: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you

Error: Actually I did the math, Horror would have $225, not $0.15.

Horror: Fam I’m right here....

Cross: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)

Killer: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?

Cross: Sorry I only have a dollar

Killer: :(

Error: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Horror would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent

Cross: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice

Error: You can buy anything you want with $22,500

Dust: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice

Error: Apply juice to what

Nightmare: Directly to the forehead

Horror: Great chat everyone

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Killer: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?

Horror: Have everyone stand.

Cross: Bring three more chairs.

Error: The most important ones can sit down.

Dust: Kill three.

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Killer: You're a loose cannon, Horror.

Horror: No, I'm not. I'm a cannon maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?

Error: I think you play by your own rules.

Cross: No way, they think rules were made to be broken.

Killer: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.

Horror: No, I'm just a reckless renegade. Dust is a loose cannon.

Dust: *smashes a chair*

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Cross: Are we really going to let Error keep Horror?

Killer: We kept Dust.

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Killer: Good morning.

Horror: Good morning.

Error: Good morning.

Cross: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

Dust: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS

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Killer: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?

Horror: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies

Dust: Socks are Feetie Heaties

Cross: Forks are Stabby Grabbies

Horror: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties

Dust: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies

Cross: Stamps are Lickie Stickies

Error, annoyed: You are disappointments

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Dust: What’s something you guys are better than Killer at?

Error: Mario Kart.

Cross: Yeah, video games.

Horror: Emotional vulnerability.

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Dust: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Horror: This knife is actually a magic wand.

Cross: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.

Killer: *cocks gun* Magic missile.

Error: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

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Lust: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you’re all invited

Geno: If?

Sci: Great, the only party I’ve ever been invited to and he might not even die.

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Lust, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him

Geno: You did WHAT–

Sci: William Snakepeare

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Lust: Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness.

Geno: Next time you’re working out do 15 push ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Burn your ex’s house down. You can do it. I believe in you.

Sci: There were so many mixed messages in that I can’t-

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Lust: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place.

Geno: You people already know too much about me.

Sci: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.

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Lust: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?

Geno: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.

Sci: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.

Geno: Good thinking.

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Lust: 'Person of interest' is almost too flattering.

Lust: Like, if the police were to pound on my door and go, 'A man has been murdered in your building and you are a person of interest,' I'd be like, 'Moi? Oh, do go on.'

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