lilacs-fandom-garden - Tumblr blog

lilacs-fandom-garden · 3 years

Text

Incorrect Quotes 4

Ships:

Errorink (lol I dont have much Errorink in my posts still, sorry)

Kreme/Driller

Crossmare

Dustberry

Horrorlust

Scifell

Afterdeath

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Geno, to Ink: I dare you to—

Dream: Ink isn’t allowed to accept dares.

Ink: Apparently I have ”no regard for my personal safety”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: Do you miss the imagination of childhood?

Cross: I never had one.

Dust: An imagination or a childhood?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Horror: *accidentally hits Error in the face*

Horror: *trying to decide between saying “I’m fucking sorry” and “are you okay?”

Horror: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: Do you like my outfit?

Dream: Not as much as I like what's underneath it.

Killer, blushing: I- Dre-

Dream: I need your chair. Get up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Horror: Do you know when you know someone, and you see that they have another, like, life away from you and it feels weird?

Dust: Like when you see your teacher in the grocery store weird, or like when someone you’ve known for a long time starts wearing a cowboy hat weird?

Horror: The… The first thing weird

Dust: Oh, that’s good, ‘Cause I was thinking about getting a cowboy hat

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross: You read my diary?!

Dream: At first, I didn’t know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lust: Sorry, but you're under arrest for robbery.

Horror: What did I steal?

Lust, trying not to cry: My heart

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream: Killer and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us

Cross: *Sighing* What did Killer do?

Dream: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...

Killer: Who wants a steering wheel?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?

Killer: *chugs entire bottle*

Killer: It’s perfume.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer, watching the news: Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today.

Dream: *walks in covered with ink* Well, maybe the squid was being a jerk!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer, tending to Dream's wounds: How would you rate your pain?

Dream: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

Horror, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao

Horror: What did you do!?

Dust: A MISTAKE

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust, addressing the squad: And if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box.

Horror: But – that’s just a trash can.

Dust: It sure is!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream: With great power comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fell: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives

Sci: I wake up at 4:30 AM

Fell:

Fell: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sci: If you were to vacuum up jello through a metal tube, well I think that’d be a neat noise

Fell: I beg to differ

Sci: Then Beg

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: You’re a lying, cheating, piece of shit! You’re not the person I married!

Blue: Fine then! We’re getting a divorce! And i’m taking the kids!

Dream, pushing the monopoly board away from them: …maybe we should stop playing…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream: I relate to Belle because she loves books and likes people for who they are!

Ink: I relate to Tinkerbell because she needs attention or she dies.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: *dials 911*

Killer: hey i hate to be “that guy” but i glued myself to the ceiling again

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: Things have actually been going really well with Error. Our friendship is in a really good place.

Ink: Last week I said, “Did you know the weiner dog is neither a weiner nor a dog?” Instead of saying, “Shut up, Ink,” they said, “Okay.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lust: *signs a legal document with a glitter gel pen*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Horror, dumping out a shopping bag full of Lunchables onto the table: Tonight, we feast.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Error or Nightmare: *kicks “G” off Graveyard sign*

Error or Nightmare: Let’s get this party started.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reaper: Did Geno just tell me they loved me for the first time?

Cross: Yeah.

Reaper: And did I do finger guns back?

Cross: Yeah, you did.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sci: Name one time I haven’t acted professional

Geno: You’re holding a juice box right now

Sci: It’s to stop me from spilling my juice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*The Bad Sanses response to I love you*

Killer: Thanks fam!

Horror: oh no

Dust: *cries* I love you too

Cross: Sounds fake but okay

Error: *A flustered mess*

Nightmare: can i get a refund

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sci: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.

Blue: What if it bites me and it dies!?

Sci: Then you’re poisonous.

Dream: What if it bites itself and I die?

Sci: That’s voodoo.

Error: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Sci: That’s correlation, not causation.

Horror: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?

Ink & Killer at the same time: That’s kinky.

Sci: Oh my God.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: Truth or dare?

Lust: Dare

Blue: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room

Lust: Hey Ink.

Ink: Yeah?

Lust: Could you move? I’m trying to get to Geno.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me

Horror: Okay, but in my defense, Dust bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.

Killer: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*The group is getting into the car*

Lust: I’m driving.

Geno, out of view: Shotgun!

Sci, turning to face Geno: Aww! But you had it on the way here-

Everyone except Geno: WOAH-

Geno, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A random stranger: Go to Hell

Nightmare, tearing up: I wish I could

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Error: Dear friends, your Christmas gift this year… is me. That’s right, another year of friendship. Your membership has been renewed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: I’m going to defeat you with the power of friendship! ... And this knife I found.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: My life isn’t as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look like.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: You know how I roll.

Killer: And I’m not talking about that time I fell into a pile of dung at the foot of a hill.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But emotionally? Imagine the toll.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: You seem familiar, have I threatened you before?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.

Fell: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Horror: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running?

Dust: Oh, I’m always running

Dust: The question is from what

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE

Fell: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially

Blue, desperately, as Fell bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Fell: Oh! B positive.

Blue: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Fell:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Horror: So what’s for dinner?

Dust, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: Hey, you want some leftovers?

Cross: What's that?

Nightmare: You've never had leftovers???

Cross: No, because I'm not a quitter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: You often use humor to deflect trauma

Cross: Thank you

Nightmare: I didn't say that was a good thing

Cross: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sci, pointing: May I sit there?

Fell: That's my lap

Sci: That doesn't answer my question, Fell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life

Dream: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?

Blue: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.

Ink: edible

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'Can I copy the homework?'

Horror: I can help you with it!

Killer: Yeah, sure.

Dust: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.

Error: lol nope.

Cross: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!

Nightmare: *Read 5:55pm*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Horror: >:O language

Dust: Yeah watch your fucking language

Cross: OKAY WHO TAUGHT DUST THE FUCK WORD?

Error: 'The fuck word'.

Killer: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

Dust: Oh my god they censored it

Error: Say fuck, Killer.

Dust: Do it, Killer. Say fuck.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: Croissants: dropped

Horror: Road: works ahead

Dust: BBQ sauce: on my titties

Cross: Shavacado: fre

Error: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead

Nightmare:

Nightmare, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.

Horror: Okay, but what is updog?

Dust: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.

Cross: Not, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.

Error: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.

Killer: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

Nightmare: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.

Cross: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

Dust: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.

Horror: What’s a henway??

Nightmare: Oh, about five pounds.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: Dumbest scar stories, go!

Horror: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.

Error: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.

Cross: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.

Dust: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.

Nightmare:

Nightmare: I have emotional scars.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*

Horror: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents

Killer: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you

Error: Actually I did the math, Horror would have $225, not $0.15.

Horror: Fam I’m right here....

Cross: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)

Killer: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?

Cross: Sorry I only have a dollar

Killer: :(

Error: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Horror would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent

Cross: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice

Error: You can buy anything you want with $22,500

Dust: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice

Error: Apply juice to what

Nightmare: Directly to the forehead

Horror: Great chat everyone

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?

Horror: Have everyone stand.

Cross: Bring three more chairs.

Error: The most important ones can sit down.

Dust: Kill three.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: You're a loose cannon, Horror.

Horror: No, I'm not. I'm a cannon maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?

Error: I think you play by your own rules.

Cross: No way, they think rules were made to be broken.

Killer: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.

Horror: No, I'm just a reckless renegade. Dust is a loose cannon.

Dust: *smashes a chair*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross: Are we really going to let Error keep Horror?

Killer: We kept Dust.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: Good morning.

Horror: Good morning.

Error: Good morning.

Cross: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

Dust: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?

Horror: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies

Dust: Socks are Feetie Heaties

Cross: Forks are Stabby Grabbies

Horror: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties

Dust: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies

Cross: Stamps are Lickie Stickies

Error, annoyed: You are disappointments

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: What’s something you guys are better than Killer at?

Error: Mario Kart.

Cross: Yeah, video games.

Horror: Emotional vulnerability.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Horror: This knife is actually a magic wand.

Cross: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.

Killer: *cocks gun* Magic missile.

Error: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lust: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you’re all invited

Geno: If?

Sci: Great, the only party I’ve ever been invited to and he might not even die.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lust, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him

Geno: You did WHAT–

Sci: William Snakepeare

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lust: Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness.

Geno: Next time you’re working out do 15 push ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Burn your ex’s house down. You can do it. I believe in you.

Sci: There were so many mixed messages in that I can’t-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lust: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place.

Geno: You people already know too much about me.

Sci: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lust: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?

Geno: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.

Sci: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.

Geno: Good thinking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lust: 'Person of interest' is almost too flattering.

Lust: Like, if the police were to pound on my door and go, 'A man has been murdered in your building and you are a person of interest,' I'd be like, 'Moi? Oh, do go on.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

230 notes · View notes

lilacs-fandom-garden · 3 years

Text

Incorrect Quotes 3

Sorry for not updating in a while, anyway, Merry Christmas! Heres Incorrect Quotes 3!

Ships:

Crossmare

Errorink

Dustberry

Scifell

Horrorlust

Driller/Kreme

Afterdeath

Fandom: Undertale AU’s

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: I'd like to address Ink's annoying personal habits.

Ink: Oh my God! What personal habits?

Blue: I have a list. FYI overuse of the phrase "Oh my God" is number 12.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream: I'm sorry for all the stuff I said.

Ink: And for punching me in the face?

Dream: No, you definitely deserved that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: It's a good thing I still have this sexy cat costume!

Blue: I really don't think you were the target audience for that costume.

Lust: There is nothing gendered about a sexy cat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: I made tea.

Ink: I don't want tea.

Blue: I didn't make tea for you. This is my tea.

Ink: Then why are you telling me?

Blue: It's a conversation starter.

Ink: That's a lousy conversation starter.

Blue: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: Am I cool or what?

Geno: What.

Ink: I said, am I cool or-

Geno: Yeah, I heard you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: You go big or you go home. And you don’t seem like the kind of person that goes home.

Cross: I’m not. I don’t even really have a home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: Those pants look great, and I bet they’d look even better on Horror’s floor.

Horror: Are you hitting on Lust... for me?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: I've lied to every girl I said "I love you" to. I thought I loved them but then I met you and realized I've never been in love before.

Dream: Aw. I did not know that.

Killer: Yeah, it was eating me up inside. So, I called them each individually and said "I never loved you."

Dream: Okay, that seems unnecessary.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: We're going mattress shopping.

Dust: You know, once we get it, we'll have to break it in.

Blue: Oh, I hear what you're saying. Mattress trampoline.

Dust:

Blue: Wait, no. You were talking about sex.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: Uh oh.

Fell: What?

Blue: Somebody's in love.

Fell: Yeah, right. I just think Sci’s cool. It's not like I lay awake at night thinking about him.

Fell, later that night: shit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream: You guys just got back together. You might not want to ditch him on his birthday.

Blue: I think Dream has a point. You can see it another day.

Ink: But someone might spoil the movie. No one can spoil Error's birthday for me. Surprise, he's even older. Who saw that coming?

Dream: Aww, that's nice. Put that on his cake.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: We're lost.

Horror: Lost? As in "where the hell are we?"

Dust: We're not totally lost. We're still in Waterfall.

Killer: You said this was a shortcut.

Dust: It is a shortcut! Look how fast we got lost!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: Before I do anything, I ask myself, would Dust do that? And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross: Nightmare, I typed up your symptoms into the thing up here, and it says you may have network connectivity problems.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross: I would have been here sooner but the bus kept stopping for other people to get on it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: How do you keep your pants up when battling? Its incredible!

Error:

Error: belt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: Nightmare!! Theres an ugly monster under my bed!

Killer (who is on the bottom bunk of the bunk bed): Alright. Screw you too!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream: You took so long in the shower!

Ink: Yeah sorry, I was at a concert.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross: Holy crap, you’re so violent-

Error: Yeah, but i'm short so it's adorable.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: I scared them again didn’t I?

Cross: They’re terrified of you-

Nightmare:

Nightmare: That makes me so happy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: Error?

Error: What?

Ink: You kicked me in your sleep!

Error: ….who said I was asleep?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Horror: Why would you give Dust a knife?!

Killer: He felt unsafe.

Horror: Well now I feel unsafe!

Killer: …...would you like a knife as-well?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Error: Okay, lets stop using the term ‘butt-hurt’. We are adults not 12 year olds.

Cross: You sound fannytroubled.

Ink: A little bootybothered if you asked me.

Dust: Someones having a tushytantrum

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: HAS ANYONE SEEN MY SONS?!

Nightmare: OH GOD HORROR!

Nightmare: THAT MOTHERS ADRENALINE IS KICKING IN-

Nightmare: DUST!

Nightmare: I CAN SEE EVERY EQUATION!!

Nightmare: Excuse me ma’am?! Have you seen my sons?! They’re about this tall- all clearly gay but we havent had the talk.

Nightmare: KILLER ARE YOU IN THERE?!

Nightmare: *kicks down trash can violently*

Error:

Error: Cross control your boyfriend jesus-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Enjoy some quotes from Disney/Nickelodeon Shows!: (I uh- also added some cusswords lol-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: I'M PREGNANT-

Killer: You’re not pregnant!

Horror: Wait- who’s pregnant?!

Dust: ME!

Horror: Congratulations!

Killer: He’s not pregnant!

Dust: Easy Killz! I’m with child-!

Killer: You’re not with child!

Horror: I’m gonna be an uncle!!!

Killer: YOU’RE NOT GONNA BE AN UNCLE!

Horror: Then who’s gonna teach the little guy how to ride a bike?!

Error: Calm down Dust! You’re not pregnant.

Dust: Then why am I so moody and nauseous?!

Dust: I think it's the morning sickness!

Error: ...Dust…

Error: you’re a boy.

Dust: ...oh yeah-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sci: Sorry, but the convertants of air streams coming from the vents are creating a dangerous draft on the guest chair.

Blue: Alright...but if I catch a cold and start coughing and sneezing uncontrollably it will be on you. LITERALLY-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: Ink! Geno! Please..! Violence is never the solution-

Blue: *gets hit in the face by a pillow and falls down*

Blue: HECK WITH THE NON-VIOLENCE..! I AM ON YOU LIKE STRIPES ON A TIGER-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: *snoring on the couch*

Nightmare: Awww- he fell asleep mid clean! I’ll wake him.

Nightmare: KILLER!!!!

Killer: AHH! *sprays cleaning spray on Nightmare’s face*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross: Who took all my scarfs?! I need them for tomorrow--

Dust swinging on a rope made out of cross’s scarfs: *doing a tarzan yell and crashing into the kitchen*

Dust coming out of the kitchen with spoons forks and knifes on him: Now that was awesome!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sci: Well...I brought a book you could read-

Ink: NOOOOOOOOO- *runs away*

Sci: Too easy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: I'm a hugger!!!!

Dust: I'M A HUGGIE-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: I did not see that coming.

Killer: *gets smacked in the arm by a drone* OW!

Nightmare: Apparently you don't see a lot of things coming.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Horror: ...what's that?

A random stranger: It's lasagna… and it's for a Christmas Party I’m going to.

Horror: We could have a party right now-!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross: What are you all getting Nightmare for his birthday?

Killer: A slightly used lip balm.

Dust: A free hug.

Error: My profound admiration.

Horror: *picks up salt shaker* This salt shaker.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: Oh, this is my chum bucket! I’m going to catch a giant squid and tame it!

Dream: ...you’re a weird kid.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lust: Now all we have to do is wait for the guests to show up!

Lust:

Blue:

Lust: Oh...we forgot to invite people….

Blue: Yup, sure did-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: Its not like anybody died…!

Dream: We haven't seen the rest of the tape…..

Nightmare:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: IS THAT A TATTOO?!

Killer while rubbing Dust’s arm: COME OFF COME OFF COME OFF!!!

Dust: Hey! The only thing coming off is my arm!

Killer: What am I going to tell Nightmare?! Oh….oh! I got it! We’ll just cut off your arm!

Cross: Good idea! Because that's easier to explain then a tattoo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Horror and Dust: *battling with pool noodles*

Blue laying on the ground: HALT!

Horror and Dust: …?

Blue: Does anyone have a pillow? This ground is really hard!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: Nightmare can you do me a big favor…?

Nightmare: You need a handsome man to go with you to the reunion? No problem...I’ll do it!

Killer: I meant to see if you could call one of your friends or your brother but uh-

Nightmare: *death stare*

Killer: okay...you’ll do-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: Two days to learn a language?

Dust: I got some spanish for ya! No way Jose- haha!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross: And I’m sorry I said he was my favorite-

Horror: It's alright Dad! To be honest, I always preferred Nightmare.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream: I know there is still some good left in you!

Nightmare: No there isn’t-! Wait.

Nightmare: *visibly cringing*

Nightmare referring to Passive Night: Agrh! There's still a piece of good. DARN IT!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: *pretends to yawn to sling his arm over Blue to dim the lights*

Dust: Do you mind?

Blue: Not at all. While we’re at it.

Blue: *throws one of Error’s puppets at the radio to play some convenient romantic music*

Blue and Dust: *about to kiss on the couch*

Horror in the kitchen doorway: *holding a glass of milk* What are you doing?

Blue and Dust: AH! HORROR!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: What are you saying? That I’m dumb?!

Error: Well- no… you’re just not very….thinky.

Ink: Thinky? Why did you say that?!

Error: Because Geno told me I cant call you dumb.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream: Hey Killer? Can you get me some punch?

Killer: Sure, I’ll be right back.

Passive Nightmare: Cross? Can you get me some punch too?

Cross: What? Your feet dont work?

Passive:

Cross: Ice or no ice…?

Passive: Surprise me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: If you all want your phones….

Nightmare: *shows box of phones* They’re right here.

Blue:

Dream:

Horror:

Dust:

Killer:

Ink:

Blue visibly shaking:

Dream: Blue…

Blue starts vibrating a bit:

Dream: Blue.

Blue starts vibrating:

Dream: BluE-

Blue: *war scream*

Everyone except Nightmare and Blue: OH SHIT-

Blue: I NEED MY PHONE- *starts running at nightmare*

Everyone else: BLUE NO *tries to restrain Blue*

Blue screaming: *kicks Ink in the stomach causing him to fall backwards*

Dust and Horror screaming: *trying to hold Blues legs and arms*

Blue still screaming: *elbows Horror in the ribs*

Horror letting go of Blue: OW!!

Dust accidentally lets his grip loosen on Blue: HOLY SHIT! HORROR?!

Blue who is still screaming: *pushing Dust to the ground and running at the box* I NEED MY PHONE-

Killer: *tackles Blue*

Dream: *helping Killer restrain Blue*

Ink: *confused screaming*

Nightmare: *laughing*

Blue: *flips over also flipping over Killer and kicking him in the chest*

Killer: FUCK! *rolls over and clutches onto his chest*

Dream: HOLY CRAP BLUE CALM DOWN- *grabs onto both of Blue’s arms*

Blue screaming and kicks Dream in the shin: I NEED MY PHONE-

Dream: *falls down grabbing his shin* MOTHER FU-

Blue running and grabbing the box of phones: GIVE ME MY PHONE-

Ink trying to grab hold of Blue: BLUE WAIT-

Blue screaming and hits Ink in the face with the box: AHHH

Everyone else except Ink: *charging at Blue*

Blue grabs phone from out of the box: I GOT IT I GOT IT-

Horror: *hoists up a screaming Blue in the air*

Dust: *grabbing Blue from the thighs lifting him up even more*

Killer: *grabbing Blue’s phone from his hands*

Blue: NOOOOOO-

Killer: *puts Blue’s phone in the box*

Blue screaming and squirming: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Ink: *grabbing a chair*

Dream: *helping Dust and Horror restrain Blue*

Blue: *flipping around screaming and kicking*

Nightmare: *still laughing*

Everyone: *sets Blue down on the chair Ink grabbed*

Dream, Horror, and Dust: *holding Blue down on the chair and shushing him*

Blue: *calms down*

Ink: Holy shit...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here are more incorrect quotes:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: Hey do you want to- stop screaming, its just me- do you want to watch a movie with me?

Dream: I'M IN THE SHOWER-

Killer: Okay well when you’re done with that do you want to watch a movie with me?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

F!Frisk: You don't think I can fight because I'm a girl.

Blue: I don't feel like you can fight because you are in a wedding dress. But for what it's worth, I don't think Ink could fight in that dress either.

Ink: Perhaps not, but I would make a radiant bride.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Classic banging on the closet door: Fell! Open up!

Fell: Well, it all started when I was born-

Classic: No I meant-

Blue: Shh....let him finish.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: *sneaking in through the window at 2am*

Nightmare *flicking on the light and turning around in his chair*: So, Where were you?

Dust: I-I was with Cross!

Cross *turning around in his chair*: Wanna try again..?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Epic: Bruh, I want to give you the whole world but like...I only have 20 bucks.

Cross: Dude, come here.

Epic: *moves closer*

Cross: *hugs him*

Cross: I don't have any money but I got the world right here in my arms.

Epic: B r u h...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: How high was I last night?

Dream: You forgot what milk was and called it cereal water.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue to Ink: What time is it...?

Ink: Don't know. Hand me that flute and I'll find out

*Ink plays the flute*

Dream: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE FLUTE AT 2 AM?!

Ink: It's 2am

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross doing a CROSS-word puzzle: I need a 9 letter word for disappointment....

Ink: Nightmare.

Dream and Cross slowly rising from their seats: Are you ready to fucking die..?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: How do Horror and Dust get out of these messes?

Killer: They don't. They just make a bigger mess to cancel out the first one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Passive Nightmare: Do I want to be feared or loved? Easy.

Passive: Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

Cross under his breath: Then I'm fucking terrified.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: I'd like everybody's attention. Christmas is canceled.

Blue: You can't cancel a holiday.

Ink: Keep it up, Blue, and you'll lose New Year's.

Blue: What does that mean?

Ink: Dream, take New Year's away from Blue.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lust: okay so the gingerbread house instructions say to be very delicate-

Sci: *holding power drill* DELICACY!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: I can't believe you and Horror broke the bed last night.

Dust: It must have been wild.

Lust: Haha... Yeah...

[Last Night]

Lust: Bet 35G you can't jump high enough to touch the ceiling.

Horror: Try me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross: Hey ya'll. So, I know I'm the new guy here, but I think I can speak for everyone when I say... I don't know what the fuck is going on.

The Bad Guys: Agreed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Sets kitchen on fire]

Dust: shit- we need an adult.

Horror: You ARE an adult!

Dust looking extremely terrified: oh...oh fuck.

Horror: WE NEED AN ADULTIER ADULT. QUICK GO GET KILLER!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: It's hard being the leader of the bad guys sometimes, but I love them all and that's all what matters-

Horror: Nightmare! Me, Fell, Dust, Killer, and Lust tried to make ramen in the coffee pot and we broke everything....

Nightmare: [inhales]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: You need a hobby Dust.

Dust: I already have a hobby Killer.

Killer: How many times do I have to tell you stalking Blue is not a hobby.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Error: Ink? Why are you on top of the fridge?

Ink: Can I not be wherever I want?! Maybe I like it up here!

Error:

Error: Wheres the spider?

Ink, quietly: Underneath the table...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: I have come up with a three-step plan to get Nightmare to marry you!

Cross: Okay...Im listening....

Dust: Step one! Get him to play truth or dare.

Cross: Never mind please stop.

Dust: Step two! Wait for him to pick dare.

Cross: Dust. I swear.

Dust: Step three! Dare him to marry you.

Cross: God damn it.

Horror from another room: IT MIGHT WORK!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: Synonyms are weird. Because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that just sounds nice and cozy, but if someone invites you to a cabin in the woods, you're going to die.

Blue: My favorite is 'butt-dial' vs 'booty call'

Sci: It's called connotation

Lust: Also, 'forgive me father for I have sinned'

Lust winking at horror: Vs 'sorry daddy, I've been naughty'

Horror whose face is now completely red: I-

Nightmare: Congrats! Language has officially been canceled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream, joking: I should have Killer kill you for that

Killer from another room: who?

Dream: Oh no its okay, I was kidding around-

Killer, walking in, with a hammer and knife in both hands: No, is he bothering you?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Classic teaching Fell how to drive: Alright, you see Dust walking in the middle of the road. What do you hit?

Fell: ...oh definitely Dust.

Classic: The brakes Fell! You hit the brakes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: Quick! Take my hand!

Blue: *grabs Dusts hand* Now what?

Dust: Nothing. I just wanted to hold hands!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross upset: I hate you guys and I'm never talking to a single one of you ever again!

[10 minutes later]

Cross kissing everyone's forehead: Goodnight Horror, Goodnight Lust, Goodnight Dust, Goodnight Killer, Goodnight Error.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: Psst! Error!

Error: what?

Blue: I made this friendship bracelet for you!

Error: Blue... you know I'm not really a jewerly person...

Blue: Oh. Its okay! You dont have to wear it-

Error: No. I'm going to wear it forever back off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: Me and Killer get along fine! Right Killz?

Killer: I've never been more stressed out in my entire life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross: I guess I'm just too tough to cry.

Horror: Just yesterday you were crying about snakes.

Cross sobbing a little: THEY DON'T HAVE ARMS HORROR-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reaper: Hey bitches!!! I've got starbuckssss-

Dust: YAY!!!

Error: FUCK YEAH-

Lust: AWESOME!

Nightmare: Reaper...please...its 3 am in the morning....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream: Are you a cuddler?

Killer: I AM A MACHINE OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION- yeah I'm a cuddler.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Classic: Dont talk to me.

Papyrus: What happened brother?

Classic: I went and joined a Sans look-alike contest...

Classic: AND LOST-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream: Sibling relationships are weird.

Dream: Like, I'd give Nightmare my spine but no way is he borrowing my charger.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: Whats it like dating Nightmare?

Cross: One timeI asked him for water while he was still mad at me, and he brought be a full glass of ice and said "wait".

Dust:

Cross:

Cross: I love him-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: I can't go. Stress is bad for the baby.

Killer: What baby?

Dust: Me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: I hate it when people ask me "whats the stupidest thing you've done?" Like bold of you to assume I've reached peak dumbass.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: If someone ever kidnapped you, I would hunt them down to the ends of the earth so I could kill them.

Cross: If you asked I would literally kill everyone in this room with no hesitation.

Dream [A little terrified and disturbed]: You know this is not what normal couples say to each other right...?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Geno: How do you politely tell someone you want to hit them in the face with a brick?

Sci: One wishes to acquaint your facial features in a fundamental item used in building walls. Repeatedly.

Lust shedding a fake tear: Thats the most beautiful thing I've ever heard....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue, opening a Capri-sun: Guess I'll just drink my sorrows away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry if I posted a quote twice-

460 notes · View notes

lilacs-fandom-garden · 4 years

Text

Incorrect Sanscent Quotes 2

Ships:

Errorink

Dustberry

Horrorlust

Kreme

Crossmare

Scifell

Afterdeath

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: There is no good reason why we can’t sit down and have a conversation!

Error: I have a reason.

Ink: Which is?

Error: I. Dont. Like. You!

Ink: Really?! You cant say one thing you like about me!?

Error: ...

Error: I like it when your sad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Random Person: Wow I’m surprised that those idiots haven’t gotten hurt yet.

Nightmare: ...Idiots?

Nightmare: *turns around*

Nightmare: wait....

Nightmare: *sees that his crew is doing idiotic shit*

Nightmare: THOSE ARE MY IDIOTS-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Geno, to the the others: Imagine that someone gives you a box with something in it that you lost during your life.

Ink: Wow! My mental stability, where did you find it?

Dream: My sanity! I haven't seen this in years!

Blue: I knew I'd lost that happiness somewhere!

Geno: ...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Geno: I swear one of these days I will grab your neck with both of my hands and break it.

Reaper: How? You cant even reach it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Error: I cant believe we are stuck in this room together!

Ink swallowing the key: Yes truly unfortunate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream: Im sorry, what are you supposed to be again?

Ink: Im going as me...

Ink: But sexier.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream: Im not mad, I just want to know why you guys would need a fake ID.

Ink: *incoherent mumbling*

Dream: what?

Blue: You need to be over 18 to hold the pets at PetCo...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: Attention crew, this is your captain speaking, we’re about to be experiencing some heavy turbulence shortly so please strap in. Blue just betted that i couldn’t do a 360 barrel roll in this thing and let’s just say that i’m about to be 20 bucks richer real soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross: Did you bring the sun boy?

Killer: What?

Cross: You know, the star sans that makes you giggle all the time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: What are you 5?

Ink: Yeah, five heads taller than you!

Blue:

Ink:

Ink: Im sorry please dont kill me—

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: What are we doing?

Cross: Wasting our lives.

Nightmare: I meant for lunch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: He died of natural causes.

Horror: You pushed him off the roof...

Killer: Gravity is natural.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: At least im going to die doing something that I love.

Error: And that is?

Nightmare: Dying.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: How long are we going to stand here and let him keep doing that?

Dream: Just give him a minute.

Ink: *pushing on a door that clearly says pull*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: Everyone knows the four steps of being apart of the Bad Sanses.

Dust: 1. Make a plan

Dust: 2. Execute the plan

Dust: 3. Expect the plan to go horribly wrong

Dust: 4. Wing the hell out of it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: Okay guys who painted the Mona Lisa?

Killer and Blue: Mona Lisa...?

Ink: No it was DaVinci....

Killer and Blue: DA VINKY....?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*playing truth or dare*

Horror: Okay...uh, Killer? Truth or Dare?

Killer: Dare.

Horror: I dare you to call Classic Sans’s, Papyrus.

Killer: Thats easy.

Killer: Siri call Pappy.

Siri: Calling “Daddy”....

Killer: WAIT NO- NO- NO!!

*Dreams phone rings*

Everyone: ....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: I didnt get that drunk last night.

Killer: Dude you literally started flirting with Blue.

Dust: So what? He’s my boyfriend.

Horror: You asked if he was single...

Cross: And cried when he said he wasnt.

Dust: I-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: I smacked a mosquito that tried to bite me, and I killed it.

Blue: Then i thought, “Its just trying to get its food.”

Blue: What if I tried to get food from the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck....

Blue: How would I feel?

Lust: Are you okay...?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: *spins around in a chair ominously* I’ve been expecting y—

Nightmare: *chair continues spinning* shit-

Nightmare: *tries to stop spinning* shit!

Nightmare: *tries to grab something to stop spinning* sHIT!

Nightmare: *falls out of chair* SHIT

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lust under his breath: Future husband say what-

Horror: What?

Lust: [internal screams of joy]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Horror: Wow Boss you’re smiling a lot did something good happen?

Nightmare: Can’t I just smile because I’m happy?

Cross sighing: Killer fell down the stairs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: Okay, I have a plan but I need some help.

Dream: *spins a wheel with everyones names on it* Sci, its your turn.

Sci: Damn it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: Would you slap Ink for 2 million dollars?

Error: I would roundhouse kick him in the face for free.

Dream: Same.

Blue: Guys-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: Hey Dream do you have two tongues in your mouth?

Dream: What? No.

Killer: Do you want to?

Dream: W-what-

Ink: What?

Blue: What?

Horror: What?

Dust: What?

Nightmare: WHAT.

Killer: wHaT- wHo sAiD tHaT?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Horror about to murder Dust for breaking his lego death star: I know what you are going to say... he’s my friend and I should try to get along with him-

Killer who helped build the lego death star: Oh no he’s crazy and needs to go down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Horror: I put the laughter in manslaughter.

Error: I put the fun in funeral

Blueberry: I put the D in Dust.

Killer: *chokes*

Dream: What-

Dust: You smooth little fuck.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink (rolling unsteadily on heelys): JESUS TAKE THE WHEELYS—

Blue: INK NO-

Error: WHO GAVE HIM THOSE?!?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross: If Nightmare kills us, Im going to get Horror’s ghost to teach my ghost how to play the accordion so my ghost can annoy the hell out of your ghost.

Dust: I’ll just get Killers ghost to kick your ghost’s ass.

Killer: My ghost wont associate with your ghost.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Horror: I did a bad thing...

Dust: Does it effect me?

Horror: No-

Dust: Than suffer in silence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: Wait- so I could have just told Dream I was in love with him?!

Blue: I mean yeah.

Ink: What did you say instead?

Killer: I told him I was straight!

Dust: Killer, no ones going to believe that.

Killer: Oh thank god!

Ink: No one except Dream.

Killer: Shit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: I feel only one emotion and that is anger

Killer: You drunk texted everyone of us a thousand heart emojis...

Nightmare: Out of anger.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Horror: I need to get something off my chest-

Lust whispering to himself with crossed fingers: please say its your shirt- please say your shirt...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Horror: *choking*

Dust: iM tRyiNg tO cALL 911! But the 9 isn’t working!

Killer: Just flip your phone upside down and use the number 6!!

Horror stopping his choking for a second: what the f-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: Have you been yelled at by Nightmare yet?

Cross: I’m not scared of him.

Killer: So thats a no-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Geno: Wait. Are you flirting with me?

Reaper: Have been for the past year, but thanks for noticing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: Do any of you know how to drive?

Dust: Does it look like we had our lives together enough to learn how to drive?

Cross: I mean- I played Grand Theft Auto before...

Nightmare: Alright that works, Killer got us a van. Lets get going.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: *Locks Dust in the car.* Act like a child, get treated like a child.

Dust: What? Isn't it illegal to leave a child locked in a car?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: *Answers phone.* Hello?

Cross: It's Cross.

Nightmare: What did he do this time?

Cross: No, it's me, Cross. It's actually me.

Nightmare: What did you do this time?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.

Nightmare, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Sci and Fell are in Paris.*

Sci: I'm...moved. I...I don't know what it is I'm feeling right now. I feel...destiny?

Fell: But...

Sci: I don't know what it is. I feel like... I just never thought I'd see it with my own two eyes. And here it is. It's just there. It's right in front of me, and...

Fell: This is what you wanted to see? The bridge from Inception?

Sci: Yeah.

Fell: But the Eiffel Tower is behind us, babe.

Sci: Yeah, but this is the bridge FROM INCEPTION.

Fell: Okay, alright.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Error, about Ink: He's speaking some kind of French.

Cross: Let me handle it. I speak Spanish. It's the same thing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: How do tall people possibly sleep at night when the blanket can't possibly cover you?

Dust: Blue, it's four o'clock in the morning.

Blue: So, you can't sleep, huh? Is it because of the blanket?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: Damn, Sci, are you secretly cool?

Sci: Well, poker is just math, so I guess it depends on if you consider the mathematician, Carl Friedrich Gauss, cool.

Dust: I do not.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Error: Are you trying to seduce me?

Ink: Why, are you seducible

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: Who the fuck--

Cross: Language!

Killer: Whom the fuck--

Cross: No.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer(or Cross): We both look very handsome tonight.

Dream (or Nightmare): You know, if you'd just said that I looked handsome, I would have said, "So do you."

Killer (or Cross): I couldn't take that chance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dram: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism.

Ink: And you came to me?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: Between Error, Killer, Cross, and Ink -- if you had to -- who would you punch?

Dream: No one! They are my friends. I wouldn't punch any of them.

Blue: Ink?

Dream: Yeah.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fell: I think I just figured something out. I got to go.

Sci: Aren't you forgetting something?

Fell: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Sci's forehead before running out.*

Sci (blushing a bit): No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Horror: So what do you have planned for the future?

Killer:...lunch?

Horror: No, like long term.

Killer: Oh...um, dinner?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Random Person who just met Killer: What's wrong with you?

Killer: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: When you have lived with the Bad Sanses as long as I’ve had you develop thick skin.

Ink: Blue is not your color.

Killer: BLUE BRINGS OUT MY NONEXISTENT EYES YOU JERK-!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream: You’re stupid.

Ink laughing: Is that all?!

Dream: Oh dont worry, give it time. It’ll eat at you.

[Later]

Ink: Am I stupid?

Blue: Just a little.

Ink: Damn him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: Horror, just remember just because it can fit in your mouth. Doesn’t mean its food.

Horror: *spits out wrench*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: Oh my god, guys...Santa...he wont be able to reach us this year!

Ink: Um Blue-

Dream: Ink, I know what you are going to say, and im gonna stop you right there.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross: Nightmare can you call the Bad Sanses over, they arent listening.

Nightmare: Why? I’m not their mother.

Cross: Just do it.

Nightmare: Ugh, fine whatever.

Nightmare: GUYS! Get over here!

The Bad Sanses: *immediately runs over to Nightmare and are lined up like ducklings following their mother.*

Nightmare: I-

Cross:

Nightmare: Wait- no! I-im not! Listen... LISTEN! Im not their-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lust: Name three things that would ruin a first date.

Ink: I- uhm, Shitting my pants-

Geno: saying I love you.

Dust: Killing them.

Lust:

Geno:

Ink:

Dust:

Lust: Did this happen?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: You know, when I said yes to the Truce this is not what I expected to happen.

Dream: You and me both brother.

Blue and Dust: *almost burning down the kitchen*

Ink and Error: *having a contest on who can eat the most sweets before throwing up*

Lust and Horror: *watching the chaos and doing some wholesome flirting*

Sci, and Fell: *their experiments blowing up half the time*

Cross and Killer: *screaming on the railing of the second floor*

Geno: *passed out on the couch*

Reaper: *floating over Geno*

Nightmare and Dream: ....

Nightmare: Is it too late to return them all?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reaper, covering the phone to talk to Geno (or Lust take your pick): I'm talking to my credit card company. I tried to get an online subscription to the New Yorker and they declined me. Apparently, based on my previous purchases, they assumed it was fraud. That's crazy. I'm fancy. One time I had coffee-flavored ice cream.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on in here?!

Horror: It's kind of complicated, but Kill-

Nightmare: Got it. Forget I asked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink, who is not named Kyle: So I said to myself: Kyle-

Blue: Wait, Kyle?

Ink: That's what I call myself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sci: Lust, where have you been? You left your cell phone in your desk and I assumed you were dead.

Lust: Uh, I would clearly be buried with my phone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Watching a horror movie.*

Fell: Are you scared?

Sci: In this economy who wouldn't be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: I have edge.

Dust: You really don't. You are literally the most wide-eyed person I've ever seen. You have the face of a cartoon lamb.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream: Just be yourself, say something nice.

Ink: Which one? I can't do both.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Horror: There's nothing that can dent our impenetrable bond.

Dust: I have a secret boyfriend.

Horror: You're dead to me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fell: Classic, I think you should play the role of my father.

Classic: I don't want to be your father.

Fell: That's perfect. You already know your lines.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: Did you notice how hot your brother has gotten?

Nightmare: *Glares.*

Killer: Because I have not!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sci: Everyone know what they're doing?

Lust: In general or the plan?

Sci: The plan, Lust.

Lust: *Sigh of relief.*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer, Fell, Dust, Error, or Nightmare: How do people not swear??? Like where does their anger go?? How do they show their enthusiasm??? What if they stub their toe??? Like saying golly gosh isn't really going to cut it Barbara.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: *Playing out of tune guitar.*

Error: Hey, you take requests?

Ink: Sure.

Error: Please stop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fell: What's your biggest fear.

Classic: Being forgotten.

Fell: Damn that's deep.

Fell: Mine is the Kool-Aid man but I feel kinda stupid about it now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reaper: *Texts Geno about what kind of teddy grahams they want.*

Geno: Honey.

Reaper: Yea wassup.

Geno: Just realized u was saying the flavor you wanted. Not addressing me endearingly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*In the chip aisle at Walmart, doing a late-night grocery run.*

Cross: *Minding my own business, looking for tortilla chips.*

Cross: *Finds tortilla chips.*

Dream, to Ink: See, he knows what he's here for. He knows what he's doing. Be more like him. MAKE A DECISION, INK.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: Is 4 a lot?

Horror: Depends on the context. Berries? No. Murders? Still no. Ex’es? Yes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fell: Be careful.

Classic: I always am.

Blue: I respectfully disagree.

Horror: I don't think any of us are.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sci: I wasn’t sure what kind of chocolates you liked so I got them all.

Fell: Sci... there are like 300 boxes here.

Sci: I panicked, okay?!?! Valentine’s can be very stressful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: Alright I need you to swear-

Ink: Fuck!

Blue: AS IN PROMISE-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: So, I'm going to grab a healthy breakfast.

Dust: Are those gummy bears wrapped in a fruit roll-up?

Killer: Breakfast burrito, but yeah.

Dust: I pity your dentist.

Killer: Joke's on you. I don't have a dentist.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream: Oh, babe. I didn't want whipped cream.

Killer: Well let me fix it for you, babe.

Ink: And this isn't soy.

Error: Sucks to be you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: [Pointing at the broken coffee machine.] So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Dream: ...I did. I broke it.

Nightmare: No. No you didn't. Dust?

Dust: Don't look at me. Look at Horror.

Horror: What?! I didn't break it.

Dust: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Horror: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Dust: Suspicious.

Horror: No it's not!

Reaper: If it matters, probably not, but Lust was the last one to use it.

Lust: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Reaper: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Lust: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Reaper!

Dream: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Nightmare.

Nightmare: No! Who broke it!?

Horror: Nightmare...Geno's been awfully quiet.

Geno: REALLY?!

[Everyone starts arguing.]

Nightmare: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: How much could I possibly owe you? Fifty/sixty bucks?

Nightmare: Two thousand, four hundred and thirty seven dollars.

Ink: Dollars?! Wait, of course dollars. Why was that the part I was surprised by?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: I guess that's your new best friend now, Dream. Emphasis on "Iago," backstabber.

Dream: I'm surprised you've read Othello.

Ink: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lust: Reaper, don't take this the wrong way, but, you're insane.

Geno: That may well be, but the fact is, it wouldn't kill us to meet some new people.

Reaper: For the record, it could kill us to meet new people. They could be murderers or the carriers of unusual pathogens. And I'm not insane, my mother had me tested.

Lust: Reaper you’ve never had a mother-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lust: Why are you crying?

Some random person: Because I'm stupid.

Sci: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

238 notes · View notes