#i remember a coach being like ‘i think i’ve figured out your problem. your muscles are so stretched because your so tall’ like. okay doc

[shoichee]

teiko manager anon back ~ my juicy part 2 will disappoint bc guess what: we're skipping two years into the future. akashi never found out what happened, and by third year the gom were the epitome of cruelty. so reader picks a fight with them after meiko game, only to collapse out of stress after. they graduate, she follows kuroko to seirin and they train to defeat gom. but why is she so insecure and easily sad when gom is mentioned? they get their answer when they catch her overworking

oh teiko anon, so so bold.... really out here stirring the pot of chaos with this part 2 huh KEK alright folks BUCKLE IN YOUR SEATBELTS IT”S TIME FOR PART 2 and part 1 is right here ! part 3 will be here ! update: part 4 is here !

Akashi x Reader

Part 2

[Teiko!manager Headcanons]

remember how I said in part 1 how Akashi would find out sooner or later? this would normally be the case, but in this exception…

you came back to school pretty quickly and restored, only to be in shock when Akashi himself confronts you about where you’ve been… like hello? YOUR CRUSH?? is? talking? to you? about your wellbeing?

here’s the thing, Akashi can easily detect lies through body language because he has an extraordinary sense of kinetic vision and critical thinking, but he’s still a human, not to mention… a middle schooler, and he’s not a true mind reader as some teammates would wholeheartedly believe

still, after some easy sleuthing he easily drew out confessions from some teammates who badmouthed you, although every single one were some type of half-truths and inconsistent testimonies that didn’t really make sense in painting a big picture

instead of incorrectly assuming things, he wanted to hear what’s been going on from your own mouth (keep in mind, this is still Oreshi, the guy who’s still cordial and wants to confirm this with you out of respect)

when he asks you some questions, he doesn’t detect any physical signs of lying from you, which only makes him believe that there wasn’t anything wrong to begin with other than you being under the weather and the other teammates saying utter nonsense either out of fear in his presence or using you as a scapegoat to cover up other delinquencies that he may have yet to discover

“(l/n)-san, I take it that you’ve been resting well? I heard from Kuroko that you were absent due to the seasonal flu.”

“Ah, y-yes! I’ve actually gotten plenty of rest and proper meals, so I’m back on my feet quicker than expected.”

“I actually also wanted to ask you something, if you don’t mind?”

“What is it?”

“Has anything odd happening to you lately? Anyone who has given you trouble or has been uncooperative with you as head manager as of late?”

at the question, you only frown in genuine confusion before you answer no; you genuinely believed that these teammates weren’t in the wrong for “speaking their mind” and if anything, you felt like you were the problem in not being capable enough in managing your own job and your health in the process (despite being knowledgeable in health yourself)

because Akashi saw that you weren’t lying, he dropped it completely out of respect and asked you that if there was anything troubling you that you could reach out to him

oh how he was so, so close to finding out the truth

this wouldn’t be brought up ever again because you and Akashi only continued to grow busier and busier with your own duties; eventually, your fears came true when the Generation of Miracles had in fact “left” you behind when their talents blossomed too fast and left unchecked

honestly, you developed a horrible habit of overworking despite Kuroko’s and Kise’s constant checks on you

what do you know? of course the coaches and faculty members would ignore your opposition against putting the GoMs in every game; after all some of them had been quite dismissive of you already

it’s kind of ironic because if Bokukashi was the one interrogating you back then, he would’ve either easily (correctly) assume based off of the teammates’ testimonies alone, or he’d be a lot more insistent in discerning the truth of the situation and nipping it right in the bud to stop the “nonsense”

but at the same time, Bokukashi has a lot more pressing priorities than a few poor-attitude teammates when he has the entire reputation of Tekio’s legacy on his shoulders; anything pertaining to you never crossed his mind ever since his domineering side emerged

you were really excited for Kuroko since he was gushing about playing against his old friend, since his friend couldn’t make it to finals the first time // needless to say, you were also Kuroko’s mental support when he felt really down at that time

after Kuroko sustained an injury in the game before Meiko, you immediately accompanied him to the infirmary

there, Kuroko requests you to go watch the game and you only reluctantly agree because you wanted to see the game just to relay back to Kuroko just in case if he couldn’t make it, and you were still a manager with a job to fulfill; you’d figure leaving Momoi to watch over was sufficient enough

when you walk out the door though… you bump into Akashi, which is the first time in a while where you two were face-to-face like this; your heart sank when you realize that you had to accept the fact that he’s changed and allowed the distance to grow between you two

but a small part of denial makes you quickly turn and flee out the hallway, but you really begin to evaluate your crush on him as you scurry away; Akashi just stares at you for a moment before he enters into the infirmary where Kuroko is

you’ve distanced yourself from other people (GoMs in particular) in basketball out of denial of the fact you were really left behind (plus, you already dread attending to their games because it’s always a cruel reminder that you’re not working hard enough to achieve results of the same level), which is why reality slapped you in the face after the aftermath of the Meiko game… when you witnessed the full extent of their cruelty on the court

you were really hurt—in fact, you looked more distraught than the Meiko teammates themselves

especially, since the fact that Kise himself, who you thought of him as someone you can trust in, partook in this as well (this is actually your first time in seeing his cruel side in action, since he’s always been very sweet and helpful to you because he respects you)

you first confronted Kise when he was alone for a bit, sounding absolutely heartbroken and on the verge of tears; you shocked him out of his cold side and he immediately becomes a mother hen and asking if you needed water or a seat to calm down before you overexert yourself

after telling him your feelings about the game and your growing distance in the friendship, he sincerely apologizes for making you feel in such an awful way and tells you to let him know next time before a game, so that he wouldn’t suggest this type of entertainment for the game again.

you were in complete disbelief… the fact that your best friend suggested this himself? You dumbly asked for his reason, and he only says that you wouldn’t understand it because no one ever gives the GoM a proper challenge

even though he didn’t intend anything bad when he said this, it just made you feel worse, but you still accepted the apology to get it over with

the other GoMs come and you immediately become angry again and tension just skyrockets; Midorima simply looks away and says nothing, and Murasakibara and Aomine do most of the talking back/arguing… and Akashi only impassively stares at you

later, when Kuroko himself confronts them while everyone was walking in the hallway, you completely lagged behind on the group, tearfully staring at the backs of the GoMs and how you felt really alienated and unmotivated to continue being a manager for a team you don’t even recognize anymore

you grew dizzy again, and you knew your body was dealing with too much at once but you willed your body to at least last the trip

at least you gave a warning when you assumed that you were away from the GoMs at Teiko before you went unconscious; Kise happens to catch you before he brings you to the school infirmary

he does stay with you the entire time, knowing the reason for your collapse was all the extreme emotional and mental toll accumulated in such a short time; he feels absolutely guilty, and when you were about to stir awake, he simply leaves a lighthearted note and a cutely shaped bread before he leaves, knowing that you’d be stressed again if you saw him (around this time is when Kuroko confronts Akashi to quit the team, which is why he was nowhere near you at the time of your collapse/rest)

you felt better that at least Kise still sees you as a close friend when you see what he left behind

you still feel awful, to say the least

it felt wrong of you to quit mid-season, since you felt that you were simply giving up and further perpetuating the fact that you weren’t doing the most that you could

but you didn’t feel like staying for the rest of the season, so you decided to overwork yourself again to get the rest of the paperwork and training plans out of the way for the remainder of the games; you even left detailed instructions to Momoi in how to relieve certain pressure points and muscles for instant relief in case someone hurts themselves

a little timeskip where you decided to tag along Kuroko in attending Seirin High, but you were more reluctant in joining basketball again because you didn’t want to re-experience the stress and burdens in Teiko

well, until you made friends with Riko, and her story in how she was skeptical about basketball at first too inspires you to give it a try again

Kuroko feels really happy that you’re at ease again for the first time, but he definitely notices how you grow gloomy when the Seirin teammates praise the GoMs

you slowly relapse into the habit of overworking to “compensate” for your lack of contributions to Seirin’s team, but this time, every member DROPKICKS you to stop working and relax sometimes (Riko and Hyuuga are the main culprits)

even though you never tell them the reason for your poor habits, the Seirin team members just SENSE and KNOW what to say to make you feel like you’re doing more than enough to support the team in their own unique ways (Mitobe giving really cute shoulder pats and thumbs-ups… Koganei giving you slaps on the back and high-fives… Riko bluntly telling you to relax and giving you encouraging winks… Hyuuga being a roundabout in his praises… Teppei openly praising you… and Kagami telling you that you were doing too much LOL)

Kuroko gives you the SOFTEST SMILES (everyone freaks out every time he does that, it’s hilarious)

however, wounds slowly reopen more once again every time Seirin goes against schools that the respective GoM plays for

after every win Seirin achieves against the GoM’s respective school, each GoM would eventually learn a little tidbits here and there about your tendency to overwork and collapse and possible speculations of why, but you never confirm anything with them

even though you easily forgive Kise after the Seirin vs. Kaijo match (seeing how he interacted with Kagami and Kuroko in the park), for the others… you weren’t so ready to confront…

… particularly with Akashi

#knb #knb x reader #knb headcanon #knb headcanons #teiko #knb teiko #akashi x reader #akashi seijuro #akashi seijuro x reader #kuroko tetsuya #kise ryota #kise ryouta #aomine daiki #midorima shintarou #midorima shintaro #murasakibara atsushi #teiko middle school

[whatifxwereyou]

The Oncoming Storm Part 19: Chou

Liu Kang x Reader and Kung Lao x Reader (gonna do both, two paths!)

Heyo, it's that time. Update time! One more Lao chapter after this. I'm ready for more DRAMA tho, delicious drama. Hope you're all doing well! I'm going to be out of town from the 9-15 but you shouldn't notice my absence since I'm preparing stuff to post before then bwahaha. NEW stories soon? Yes. Lots of planning so far. Much love. Sorry this is all over the place LOL. Kung Lao makin you even more confused, my lawd. Update on Tuesday!

Part 18 Part 20 Chapter Index

You returned to the stone path where you found tables had been setup to share with the other guests. Food had been setup nearby buffet style for a fee. You paid, grabbed your plates, and then took your seats amongst the others in attendance. With the exception of a handful of friends on a trip, they were all couples. A woman with short-cropped hair and dark eyes waved at Kung Lao excitedly. Her significant other offered a smile, then turned back to his food, hair pulled back in a messy ponytail. Oh, great, Kung Lao had made friends that morning.

“We saved you a seat!” She said once you were within earshot.

“She saved us a seat, Kung Lao.” You spoke just for him to hear, faking a smile.

“That was nice.” He urged his free arm around your shoulder and you sighed. Fake date or affection. Probably fake date. Were you winning? What were the rules to this game? Kung Lao sat down and made room for you to sit between him and the stranger. “Y/N, this is Sayuri and her boyfriend Kioshi. This is my girlfriend, Y/N.” It sounded awkward. Good. This was going great.

“Nice to meet you.” You bowed your head politely but couldn’t have felt more forced. Sayuri didn’t seem to notice. You could smell plum wine in her glass. It was extremely potent. If Chen were there, she would have spiked your drink, you were certain. Thank god for small favors. The good news was that Kung Lao could talk about anything to anyone and so you didn’t have to. They talked and you thought about other things while pushing your food around on your plate. It looked good. Really good. But you weren’t very hungry.

Your thoughts lingered on that kiss. It had escalated so damn quickly and you’d lost track of everything else. Just when you thought you had things figured out, Kung Lao had thrown you for a loop. You weren’t sure you’d ever forget how much you’d felt like a flower, petals slowly opening up just for him. Ugh. You couldn’t think about it. Focus, Y/N, focus. Kung Lao was animatedly recalling some adventure he’d gotten into in China with Liu Kang. Occasionally he patted your shoulder or nudged you and mentioned you which you returned in kind or smiled to acknowledge. Had to play the part, you supposed.

From what you could tell, hiding places would be in short supply. Much of the caldera was empty and flat. You supposed that behind the entrance gate would work. You could make short work of those walls between the two of you. That would work and it was a much better thing to focus on than the deep ache inside of you when you thought about Kung Lao’s kiss and calling you his girlfriend. How were you going to erase the guilt of breaking into a Buddhist Temple and desecrating it? You didn’t feel good about it at all. Maybe the truth would still work.

It wasn’t like you had a choice at this point. Whatever was in that well you had to get so you would do what it took. Ugh, you were going to end up being arrested at this rate.

Then, Kung Lao was stealing a pepper off your plate with his chopsticks. “Hey!” You scolded him and Sayuri giggled next to you.

“That’s what you get for not paying attention to my stories.” He ate the pepper with a grin. Even the way he ate was attractive. How incredibly unfair.

“Listen, you talk a lot, Kung Lao.” You batted your eyelashes at him playfully and the others at the table laughed. Kung Lao was going to make a snide remark, but you picked up one of the pork buns from your plate and shoved it right into his mouth. He coughed and gagged on it and you couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous he was. He took a bite of the bun and then set the rest of it on his plate but was smiling. “See. You talk too much. Going to choke on your food.”

“Jokes on you. I was going to steal that next.” Kung Lao took another purposeful bite out of it. Sayuri tapped your shoulder, cheeks red with drink and then she bowed politely. You had forgotten that most of the people there likely didn’t speak Chinese. You were kind of thankful for the language barrier.

“How long have you two been dating? Kioshi and I have been together for six months. This is our first big getaway together.” Sayuri smiled brightly and nudged Kioshi who slipped an arm around her proudly. Then he whispered something to her in Japanese before getting up and leaving her alone with you. She was sweet enough but you did not know how to answer that question. You and Kung Lao had not discussed any details about your cover. This was exactly why you hated lying. It was too messy. To keep up with the lie you had to keep lying and so things fell apart so easily. You had not thought this through.

“I… umm…”

Much to your surprise, Kung Lao slipped his arm around your waist and urged you to scoot closer to him. It took every single muscle in your body not to swat at him like you usually did. “We go way back.” He sounded natural. Effortless. “I’ve known her since she was… this high?” He used his other hand to gesture just above the height of the low table. He’d been awfully ready with that response.

“Oh, that’s so sweet! Childhood sweethearts? Did you know that you’d end up together even back then?”

“Umm…” You really were terrible at this but Kung Lao wasn’t. It made you wonder how much of this was actually a lie to him.

“We were like ten when we first started hanging out so I was just a dumb kid who didn’t understand any of that. I knew that I liked her but didn’t know what to do about it.” He shrugged and leaned close to your cheek as if to give you a kiss there and you leaned away and scrunched up your face so much that he instead laughed and buried his head against your shoulder.

“That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard.” Sayuri giggled into her glass of plum wine. You turned to look at Kung Lao. He lifted his head and his eyes flitted back to yours.

“You’re terrible at this.”

“I am so terrible at this.” You were grateful for the language barrier more than ever.

Kioshi returned with a tray that held a familiar liquor bottle and small equally familiar glasses for sake. Your stomach dropped. “Drinks all around! New friends and the Autumn Festival.” He began to place the glasses in front of each of the guests.

“Oh, no, no…” You bowed and pushed the small cup away in rejection. “No alcohol for me tonight.” This was starting to feel more and more like an actual date you’d gone on with Kung Lao without even realizing it. It was hitting all the notes. Cute trip to a foreign place. Cute meal. Intimate conversation. You’d even made out a little. This was not supposed to be a pleasure trip. Also, and more importantly, you were not dating Kung Lao.

And you had kissed Liu Kang, so this was too complicated. No liquor! You could hear Chen in the back of your mind, telling you to drink, telling you to lower your inhibitions and just pick right up where you’d left off in the shrine.

“That’s probably for the best.” Kung Lao pushed his cup away too.

“Come on. Just one? For luck!” Sayuri pouted, pushing your cups back toward you.

“She won’t let it go until you do.” Kioshi chimed in. The rest of the occupants at the table were taking the cups gratefully with a bow as they were filled. It suddenly felt rude to turn down the drink so you took your cup back with a sigh. You supposed one drink would be fine. Then again, with the blood thinning problem, who knew? You’d be fine, you coached yourself. Kung Lao gave you a nervous look as though he were thinking the same thing. You were suddenly aware of how little you’d eaten. You picked up the last pork bun on your plate and ate it as quickly as you could. There. No more empty stomach.

Sayuri lifted her cup and the rest of the table did the same. So did you. The sake was hot and you took a sip of it and winced. Kung Lao downed his in one fast motion. He then set his cup aside, upside down so that no one would refill it. You were grateful for that. The last thing you needed was to be drunk while desecrating a Buddhist Temple. He continued his chatter amongst the others while you sipped until the sake was gone. Then you placed your cup next to his upside down. The sun had gone down, and the lanterns glowed a brilliant orange, illuminating the temple in warm light. You turned on the bench to face away from the table. Your cheeks were warm and the annoying overthinking had briefly stopped. At least it hadn’t taken you from zero to drunk.

Kung Lao turned to sit with you and with him, came the rest of the couples at the table. They gathered around in front of you and sat on the stone while swapping stories and histories. Some were schoolteachers, others were businessmen. Each came from an interesting and diverse background. You didn’t weigh in much. Your Japanese was just not good enough to keep up. The hum of conversation and the warmth of the sake were enough to make you sleepy.

“What about you, Kung Lao? What do you two do?” A stranger across the way asked. You didn’t remember introducing yourselves to these other people but you supposed that Kung Lao had captivated everyone’s attention. You had been more focused on why you were really there for the night. Kung Lao searched for the words to explain what it was he did. It was the first time that evening where he had struggled to come up with a lie. You decided to help him out with a little bit of truth.

“He’s a martial artist.” You patted him on the back and he forced a smile. You had done so purposely pretty hard. “And I teach martial arts.” You had. That wasn’t a lie. Immediately, people were gushing over you. “I just teach. He’s quite good.” You smiled at him, redirecting all of the attention back onto him. Sayuri leapt to her feet, wobbling with drink, excited.

“Oh! Oh! Show us something cool!” She grabbed your hand as though you had known each other far longer than an hour.

“No, no.” You laughed politely. “The sake went right to my head. I’ll pass.” You bowed. Much to your surprise, Kung Lao leaned closer to you.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine” You assured him. “But you should show off a little. You’re good at that.”

“I planned to. I need a partner but if you’re not feeling up to it.” He made another playful kissy face and you shoved him away, inciting more laughter. Kung Lao stood up, fingers brushing over the brim of his hat before he pulled it off and offered it to you to hold. You slipped it on top of your head instead. He patted the top of it. “I need a partner since Y/N won’t help me.” He spoke in Japanese as he walked into the sand below the stone path.

“Go! Kioshi!” Sayuri pushed her boyfriend to his feet but he looked incredibly nervous even if he did as he was asked. Kioshi bowed to Kung Lao after joining him in the sand.

“Now come at me.” He instructed and Kioshi did just that. Kung Lao grabbed his arm, twisted him back and then flipped him onto the sand, inciting a gasp from the crowd. But even as the man nearly struck the ground, Kung Lao crouched and stopped his momentum then helped him to his feet. Everyone applauded, and you offered him a slow, unimpressed clap. Kung Lao showed Kioshi how to do a few other moves then countered them. Poor Kioshi. He just wanted to impress Sayuri. You caught Kung Lao looking to you every so often and tried not to apply that exact thought to you. He knew you thought he was good. Right? He wasn’t showing off for you was he? Fake date or affection? You had no idea but you were pretty sure you were losing this game.

If he wanted to show off, you’d make him work. “Do a flip!” You yelled and Kung Lao looked to you as if to admonish you for putting him on the spot. Everyone else was chanting do a flip and you pointed to them as if he had no choice now. He rubbed his palms together then leapt back onto the stone walkway. He stepped to the edge of the stone and then instead of walking off, he flipped through the air, legs high above him before landing as if it were nothing at all. He really was a delight to watch. When he turned back around, he blew you a kiss and then pointed an accusatory finger at you. You covered your face with your hands as your cheeks turned red and Sayuri whistled almost directly in your ear.

This was a pretend date, you reminded yourself.

A pretend and very convincing date with Kung Lao.

It had felt so natural that you had to continuously remind yourself that it was pretend. Your face hurt from smiling and was red since he kept flirting with you even when he was just showing off something he had practiced his whole life. The crowd took over with simple requests and so he was preoccupied for a time and it gave you peace to recover from your embarrassment and for the sake to run its course.

When he was finished, the crowd politely applauded and thanked him for humoring them. You applauded with them and when he sat back down next to you, he sighed contentedly. He hadn’t even broken a sweat. The group had taken to talking amongst themselves again. Some discussed that the last bus would be coming to get them in the next hour or so.

Kung Lao turned to you and pulled up the hat on your head and tugged the strap free before gently tucking it beneath your chin. It was way looser on you and he tugged it with a smile to urge you a little closer. You averted your eyes but couldn’t hide your delight. “So, how’d I do? You didn’t seem too impressed.”

“You’re great Kung Lao, but you already knew that.”

“I know. I just wanted to hear it from you.” He took the hat from you and then slipped it back on his head. “Cute hat. I think I’ll steal it.” You watched the others chat and then Kung Lao stood and offered you his hand. “One last walk by the water?”

“Sure, I guess.” You sighed and took his hand before getting up. You were supposed to be discreet so that no one would notice you were missing when you hid. So much for that. Perhaps you would say goodbye in a moment and then find somewhere to hide until everyone else left. That would work. Kung Lao leapt off the stone path and offered you help down which you took. Then you let go of his hand walked closer to the water. Kung Lao didn’t follow you immediately, but you could feel his eyes following you.

Then he jogged to catch up with you. “Y/N?” You turned to face him, and he stopped in front of you. He took a purposeful step closer to you, denying you personal space. You were forced to tilt your gaze up to meet his.

“Yes?” You asked skeptically. He rested one hand on your hip, and you cocked a curious eyebrow as if to dare him to keep going. You would ten thousand percent pin his ass into the sand if you had to. He tilted your chin up and examined your face before letting his fingers brush down your jaw and over the side of your neck. His eyes followed the trail of his fingertips and you stiffened up but didn’t back down. He leaned ever closer and you very bravely, at least you thought it was brave, refused to turn away, even when his lips drew ever closer.

“…you’ve got something in your teeth,” he whispered with a grin. You laughed and smacked his hand away from your neck and then stepped back and pointed an accusatory finger at him.

“I am going to knock you on your ass and throw you into that toxic lake if you keep that up.” You threatened, walking away from him.

“Well, that’s rude!” He caught up to you and so you shoved at him again with a laugh and kept walking while he stumbled in the sand. You heard him get closer again and so you turned to warn him that you were going to follow through on your threat but he grabbed your arm, pulled you close, and without any warning or pretense, his lips pressed against yours. He was still laughing and you could feel the reverberations of the sweet sound moving through your lips, down your throat and sending shivers down your spine.

It made you smile and as if they had a mind of their own, your lips betrayed you and kissed him back. He held you tight to steady you in the sand and then pushed a stray hair from your face, then urged you to tilt your head even further back as he opened his mouth wider to deepen the kiss, taking each moment greedily for his own. His lips still tasted like the damn pork bun that you’d shoved in his mouth and that made you laugh.

His arm slipped around you and his hand met the small of your back and pulled you tight against him. His warm body pressed against yours woke you from the romantic reverie he’d slipped you into.

“Nope,” you muttered against his lips and then pulled back, leaning away from him since his arm held you captive.

“Oh?” Eyes half-lidded, Kung Lao seemed confused as to why you’d stopped him. Your stomach dropped. That look in his eyes was killing you, something more than romance, closer to lust. Your stomach was doing flips again. Affection or fake date? This one was easy. “Sorry.” He very suddenly realized that it may have been inappropriate and pursed his lips while he searched for the inevitable elusive lie that he would feed you as an excuse for his behavior. “Got carried away.” That was not so much a lie this time.

“Sure you did. Because of all the people that we’ve lied to, right? Had to act the part of doting boyfriend? You came up with our origin story very quickly, by the way.”

“Oh?” He was again at a loss for words, very unlike him. He turned to look at where the others were still gathered on the stone path by the tables. “Oh! Yeah. The act. That thing. Right.”

“Wow,” you whispered but your brain was screaming. No words. Just screams. The panic was real. This was a mess. A huge mess. How had you slipped so naturally into these roles? There were no other words for it than a total and complete fucking mess. He let you go and then went on talking like nothing had happened. He tried to lead you along the sand again.

What were they going to do? What were you going to do? You couldn’t date them both! You had already kissed them both and felt terribly guilty about it. You even felt a little slutty which was never a word you would have used to describe yourself as much as Chen wished that you would.

Maybe slutty was too harsh a word. Your lips, at the very least, were very slutty.

Kung Lao was listing off potential places that you could hide while you waited for the monks to end their night. He’d managed to go back to being his normal self. You couldn’t turn that off so quickly. The rollercoaster was back and there was a huge drop just ahead. You had nothing to say, no input even when he asked you for it. You kept walking alongside him instead, the screaming in your head now mixed with chaotic laughter at the improbability of the situation. You had to make a choice eventually. But both of them were so different and your connection to them was even more so. You had to stop thinking about it. There was no solving this now.

“Did I make it weird?” His words finally slipped through all the screaming which stopped very suddenly.

“What? With your bad jokes and all the showing off?” You instantly found refuge in sarcasm. Oh god, you were so alike in some ways. Kung Lao cocked an eyebrow as if to say you knew exactly what he was referring to. “Oh. Oh, yeah, that kissing me thing you keep doing.”

“Yeah, that’s the one. That’s the thing.”

You huffed. Where to start? Most important of the things bothering you, you supposed. The truth. “I kissed Liu.” You were surprised by how confident you’d sounded. You hadn’t actually said it out loud before. “And I wanted to kiss him.”

Kung Lao did not seem surprised by this revelation. In fact, he seemed very unsurprised. “And did you want to kiss me?”

You stuttered because that was not the response that you’d expected. Wait. Did he already know? Were Liu Kang and Kung Lao gossiping about you? The screaming was back but this time it was angry. You pinched the bridge of your nose and then grunted in frustration and made to walk away. Kung Lao grabbed your arm to stop you.

“Did you?”

“Yeah, I suppose that I did.” Getting those words out was like pulling teeth. You didn’t know what anything meant. Everything was chaos and nothing mattered. “I can’t kiss you both.”

“I mean you did so you obviously can.”

“You know what I mean!”

“Do I?”

“It has to stop.”

“For you? Or for me? Or for Liu? You’re being very vague, Y/N.”

“Are you being purposely frustrating? For all of us, Lao.” You tapped his chest with each word and he laughed. “You have no idea how this is eating me up! I’m so confused. My heart hurts. No more. No more of it.” You weren’t sure how you were going to stand by this declaration when they just went for it so freely but damnit, you were frustrated.

“I guess that’s fair. Only sort of though. How come you get to decide? I’m part of this too.”

“Kung Lao, I swear.”

“Okay! Okay.” He avoided your gaze and his eyes were darting to the side. He was lying? About what?

“What? What’s that look?”

“Uh… ah… what look?”

“I thought you were a good liar, Lao! What’s going on with you?”

“I uh… nothing?” He looked so beyond guilty that you laughed in disbelief.

“Kung Lao? What did you do?”

“That list is way too long to go over right now. We’d be here all week and we have things to do.” He turned away.

“You’re hiding something.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Y/N.”

“Why aren’t you mad, Lao? Aren’t you mad that I kissed your best friend? Hell, I kissed your brother and then also kissed you? Shouldn’t you be pissed? Why am I the one that’s angry?” Your voice was very high-pitched and he laughed at you again.

“What’s the point of being angry? I knew that you and Liu were getting close. Everyone knows. You’re obvious. I’m not stupid, Y/N. I just also decided not to give up.” He sighed but still avoided your eyes and kept checking to see if you were buying it or not. What the actual hell?

“I don’t know what you’re lying about or why you’re lying but I know that you’re lying, Lao. And I know that it’s something important.”

“We have so much to do, Y/N. You’re being crazy. Maybe I will stop kissing you.” He teased and you smacked his arm and gasped. He wasn’t taking you seriously! You took calming deep breaths. Now what were you supposed to do? That hadn’t gone at allhow you’d expected it to. It hadn’t helped you get any closer to a decision. It had only further confused you!

“Of course you will. Because I told you to stop.” You mocked him and he looped his arm with yours. “Let’s go say goodbye to these strangers before I really do push you into the lake and just yell about what a big liar you are.”

“As much as I would love to see that, it’s probably the wrong time to make a display of ourselves.”

“Says the man who has done nothing but make a display of himself all damn day.”

“You didn’t seem to be complaining. You didn’t even try to stop me.”

“No one can stop you, Kung Lao. You’ve made that incredibly clear.” You walked with him back to where the others were gathered. Kung Lao was then his usual charming self, chatting and telling the others that you had to go and had called a taxi to pick you up. You did your absolute best not to roll your eyes but you were seething. Why had you thought telling him would change anything? You supposed that you’d expected him to be angry that you had kissed him after also kissing Liu and would tell you to make a choice. But he hadn’t. Why? Was he afraid that you would choose Liu over him? He didn’t seem afraid of what came next like you were. In fact, he seemed like he wanted to drag this out. You were uncomfortable but you decided, in a breath, to let it go.

Whatever he was hiding would be revealed eventually and when it did, you would call him out on it and gladly. And you would kiss whoever you damn well pleased. For now, you just had to keep your head on straight and focus on the task at hand.

He’d kissed you like it was no big deal. The audacity of this man!

You waved at the others and together you walked to where you’d met the bus. Then you snuck around the gate surrounding the shrine and found a place hidden behind a series of rocks to wait and hide. It was what made the most sense. There was nowhere else to hide without being spotted with so many guests still remaining. As far as you had seen, there were no security cameras.

“You still mad?” He whispered after an hour had passed.

“Confused. Not mad.”

“Don’t be confused, Y/N.”

“Okay. Still a little mad. Almost snapped at you again.”

He chuckled and you pouted. He urged his arm around your shoulder and hugged you close. You were still a little mad but his hugs did feel nice. Comforting even. You were so drained. You hadn’t been prepared for the emotional toll this was taking on you. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t even know what you’re sorry for so don’t waste your breath.” You swatted his arm and he swatted your hand back. “I’m confused. That’s all.”

“Clearly. Look, I’m not mad at you. I don’t like that you kissed Liu but you’re figuring things out. That’s fine.”

“But Liu…”

“I can’t say that Liu won’t be mad about it but I mean, maybe that will make him seem less appealing.” He grinned and you groaned in annoyance and smacked his arm again. “It’ll all work out, Y/N.”

“It’ll all work out, Y/N.” You mimicked him and he laughed again. “I can’t believe that I have to sit stewing over this next to you, with your arms around me while we wait to break in there. God, I need something to punch.”

“This has been fun.” Kung Lao decided while trying not to laugh. Fun? You huffed again and then leaned your head back against the stone and closed your eyes. You had to stop the racing thoughts and find a way to be okay with what had just happened. Time would help, you decided.

And it did.

You fell asleep.

#kung lao #kung lao x reader #mk kung lao #max huang #kung lao/you #kung lao x you #liu kang x reader #fanfiction #angst #drama #romance #fanfic #ludi lin #mortal kombat 2021 #mortal kombat movie

[earth-ambassador-jim]

Lost Souls: Story 11

Something New

Lost Souls Summary: Merlin awakens early from his sleep. He decides  that he doesn’t want to leaving anything to chance and kidnaps the young  James Lake Jr. to began training his Trollhunter as early as possible.

Barbara  is determined to hunt down the man who kidnapped her son. In her  efforts to get her son back she finds a strange old radio that speaks to  her in a woman’s voice. The radio leads her to an underground society  of shapeshifters.

Mother and son meet again years later as strangers on opposing sides.

AO3 - Fanfiction

~~~~

~~~~

“Head up! Don’t block the blow: redirect it.”

Eli tries to comply but it’s hard when his arms feel like they’re made out of jelly. Instead of being redirected Jim’s staff pushes Eli’s down causing him to bop himself in the forehead with his own weapon.

Eli topples over like a load of bricks and lays there. A low whine seeps through his lips as his tailbone pulses with pain from hitting the ground too hard. That will be another bruise for his collection.

He’s actually managed to get more bruises training with Jim than he has from Steve. Which is really saying something.

“Are you okay?”

He opens his eyes to see Jim hovering awkwardly over him, staff still in hand. He’s shifting back and forth on his feet in a way that tells Eli he’s debating whether to keep pushing him or end the session here.

Eli doesn’t really want to disappoint him, so he tries to sit up. All his muscles protest. He lays back down. Yeah, he isn’t going anywhere. The training montages in movies really fail to capture just how much pushing oneself to the limits hurts.

“We’ll stop for the day,” Jim decides.

He sets his staff against the house before retrieving Eli’s and setting it there too.

“Can you get up?” Jim asks.

Now that he’s not in training mode he stands a little less straight and his expression softens from his previously sharp focused gaze.

“Yeah… maybe,” Eli says, his voice squeaking a little. “Just a second.”

Eli lays on the ground just breathing and trying to summon the energy to make another attempt at standing up. He knows he’s going to be sore in the morning again.

He honestly wants to give up. Clearly he isn’t cut out for this.

There’s movement to his right and Eli looks over to see Jim laying down beside him. The blue skinned troll blends in almost perfectly with the night; except for his eyes which glow a faint, ethereal blue. He settles on his back, head propped just slightly up by his horns.

“So…” The troll says slowly. “You were telling me that human constellations are different than troll ones?”

Eli nods slightly, unable to look away. His glasses slide down his nose. He quickly pushes them back up.

“Do you want to compare?”

“Really?!” Eli squeaks, surprised.

Next to exploring the strange and unusual, stars and space has always been one of his greatest interests. Something about the vastness and boundlessness draws him. He studies every book he can get his hands on.

This is a chance to learn what a being that isn’t human sees. That’s… that’s something beyond his wildest dreams.

But more importantly, it’s a chance to talk about something that he loves with a friend.

“Eli?”

Jim is looking at him rather nervously. Eli realizes that he’s teared up.

“I’d like that,” He says. He pushes his glasses up to swipe at his eyes before giving Jim a smile.

~~~~

As predicted, Eli is very very sore.

He spends the day limping through his classes. He wonders if this is what old people feels like. He’s so glad when it’s time to go home.

His arm positively aches as he transfers the textbooks he doesn’t need to his locker. As much as he enjoys spending time with Jim he’s glad that the Trollhunter won’t be over tonight. He doesn’t think he can take another round of training.

He plans to take it easy when he gets home. He can get his homework done and then he’ll see if he can snag enough of his friends from the forums to play a round of Among Us.

Eli flinches as a hand lands on his shoulder. Without turning around he already knows who it is. Automatically his shoulders draw up toward his ears as he pulls his arms in close to his chest.

“What do you want Steve?”

“Why, I was just worried about my favorite nerd,” The blond bully says with mock sincerity. “I haven’t heard any of your wild conspiracies and was starting to be concerned about your health.”

Eli hasn’t been sharing his theories and discoveries since meeting Jim because he promised Jim to keep trolls and the other creepers… creatures running around Arcadia secret. He still discusses aliens but he’s been sticking with his friends online and Jim now, since they don’t laugh at him.

He figured since he had been keeping to himself Steve would ignore him, but now he’s seeking him out because of that.

There really is no winning, he realizes.

“Can’t you just leave me alone?” Eli asks quietly.

Steve doesn’t appreciate that.

The blond bully shoves him and he hits the locker hard sending a violent jolt of pain through his back. His books fall out of his arms and scatter on the ground.

“Don’t talk back to me butsnack.”

Eli glances around but there’s nowhere to escape in the crowded hallway and, as usual, no one seems inclined to help.

“I think you need to spend some time in your locker until you remember your manners,” Steve continues with a glint in his eyes.

A whimper escapes Eli at that. He doesn’t want to spend another hour stuck in the locker again. His eyes dart around frantically.

Steve reaches for him and takes a step forward, his foot landing just in front of Eli’s spilled textbooks.

“Use your surroundings as a weapon.” Jim’s voice whispers in the back of his mind.

With no other options presenting themselves, Eli kicks Steve in the shin as hard as he can. The bully lets out a yelp and grabs at his injured leg. Eli doesn’t wait for him to recover. Ignoring the protests of his aching muscles he shoves him hard in the chest. Normally it would have done nothing but Steve, already off balance, stumbles and his foot lands on Lord of the Flies. He topples over backward and slams hard into the ground.

The hallway goes completely silent.

Eli stares, his heart still racing. He can’t believe it. He actually managed to take down Steve.

Steve Palchuck! The boy who’s been tormenting him since kindergarten.

Around him all the other kids start murmuring.

Then someone cheers and then the whole crowd is whooping and hollering.

Steve seems to have recovered from his shock and is getting up. He’s turning a violent red and it’s pretty clear that he’s going to get revenge. Eli has the feeling he won’t get lucky a second time.

“Hey! What’s going on here?”

Eli is about ready to collapse from relief when Coach Lawrance’s voice breaks through the noise. The crowd of students disperses like cockroaches. Steve backs off, shooting him glares.

Eli gathers his books and slinks off to get his bike with the distinct feeling that this incident will come back to haunt him.

~~~~

“Can you believe it?” Mary squeals.

Her fingers are darting rapidly over her phone. No doubt she’s already uploading a video to one of her many social media accounts. Steve is going to be livid.

“Girl, I saw it but I still don’t believe it,” Darci says.

Eli Pepperjack getting one up on Steve was the last thing she had been expecting out of school today.

“What do you think Toby?” She says nudging him in the ribs.

Since they’ve made it to high school and have Claire and Mary to hang out with, she’s determined to get him to come out of his shell.

Toby blinks and looks up from his phone.

“Yeah it was pretty cool,” He says, eying the other two girls hesitantly.

Claire give him a friendly smile and he awkwardly smiles back before quickly returning his attention to his phone.

Darci sighs and shoots Claire an apologetic look. Claire shrugs in response and then she, Mary and Darci continue to discuss the strange happenings of the day sans Toby’s input.

~~~~

“Would it hurt you to try to be a little friendlier?”

Toby winces. Yeah he deserved that one.

“Sorry,” He says, a slight flush crawling up the back of his neck.

Darci lets out a little huff.

“You should be, Mary and Claire are the best. Come on TP you’ve got to give them a chance.”

Toby doesn’t reply. Instead opting to instead focus all his attention on the game. His fingers fly over the controls. He understands what she’s getting at. He really does but well…

“I guess I’m just not ready for new people.”

There’s a ping as they reach the end of the round. Toby hazards a brief glance up and sees Darci looking at him with a puzzled frown.

“But you know Mary and Claire,” She says. “I’ve been friends with them for as long as I’ve known you. You’ve hung out before and never had a problem with them.”

“I know,” He mutters. “It’s just…”

He doesn’t want to admit it. It’s pathetic.

“It’s Jim, isn’t it?”

Toby gives her a weak grin.

“Have you been taking lessons from your Dad? Cause that was some real detective work there.”

Darci snorts.

“It doesn’t take a detective to figure that one out.” She gives him a little poke on the shoulder to emphasize her point.

Toby sighs and drops his controller.

“It’s not just Jim,” He admits in a subdued tone. This is something he’s thought about a lot. “It’s Mom and Dad, too… Heck even Dr. L just up and left. It was fine hanging out with them once in a while as your friends but what’s the point in me becoming friends with them? Once we get done with high school everyone is just going to move on. I just don’t want to deal with that.”

It would be bad enough when Darci moved on.

He can feel her staring at him.

“You know I’m not going to abandon you, right?” She asks.

Toby winces. It sounds bad out loud. She puts her hand on his shoulder and he glances up hesitantly. She’s smiling at him in a very gentle and sad way that makes his chest ache.

“Even if we end up on opposite sides of the world I’ll keep in touch. You won’t lose me okay?”

“You don’t know that.” It slips out before he can stop it.

Darci sighs.

“Look I… I guess there really is no way to know for sure but do you really just want to give up? Just like that? To spend your whole life alone?”

“Not really…” Toby says slowly.

“Then can you give them a try? For me?”

He can’t resist those big brown eyes.

“Okay,” Toby says. “I’ll give them a chance, but no promises on results.”

Darci’s smile and quick hug makes it worth it. Toby just hopes he won’t regret this. He clears his throat roughly and focuses his attention back on the screen. He starts another round hoping he can drown out the uneasy feeling in his gut.

“You know I really could use a larger audience to practice my magic for. You know all of my tricks anyway.”

Darci claps her hands together

“Oh! That reminds me. Mare told me there’s a new bookstore in town. She was going on and on about how cute the guy who was working the counter was, but, more importantly, she mentioned there’s a huge selection of magic type books. Want to go check it out?”

“Sure,” Toby says. “That sounds like fun.”

He doubts there will be anything real there but maybe he can find some cool props to use for the next talent show.

~~~~

~~~~

Author Notes:

Steve has really come a long way. He was a major bully back in the beginning of the series. Hopefully we'll get to see more character development for him in Rise of the Titans. (Also more CreepslayerZ! I miss the CreepslayerZ.)

Jim grew up with Kanjigar and Merlin's training so his version of "going easy" is still really pushing it for an inexperienced human. It's going to be a while yet before Eli is not sore again.

Jim learned the Trollish constellations from Kanjigar. While he never took him to Trollmarket, Kanjigar did start taking him outside within Merlin's barrier. Stargazing was Jim's absolute favorite thing to do with him.

Next chapter we get to see Jim's visit to his old home before he became a troll!

If you like this be sure to tell me what you think :)

#Trollhunters #Tales of Arcadia #Trollhunters Fanfiction #Lost Souls #Child Champion AU #Jim Lake Jr #james lake jr #eli pepperjack #steve palchuk #darci scott #toby domzalski #tobias domzalski #troll jim #half troll jim #bullying #training #Darci and Toby are BFFs in this

[twstarchives]

Azul Ashengrotto・Voice Lines

Additional Voice Lines

Beans Camo event card

Scary Dress event card

School Uniform - R

Unlock Card “I will support you to the best of my ability, so that you may enjoy your school life here!”

Groovy “Board games are good brain exercises. Would you like to play one?”

Home Setting “Let’s make today count.”

Home Transitions “The students of this school are truly diverse in terms of personality. I’d like to have a great circle of connections.”

“Falling asleep during class is nothing for you to worry about. I will help you before your test. For a price, of course.”

“Now, for today’s board game club activities... What? Did you think ‘Boring!’ to yourself just now?”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Were you looking for me? If you’d like to discuss your troubles, I can always make arrangements for that.”

Home Taps “I pride myself on the trust my professors have in me. Above all else, I am very dedicated.”

“School friends are really just like schools of small fish. Come graduation, they all go their separate ways.”

“I heard you singing in music class just now... Heheh. No, I’m sorry; you do sound very nice.”

“I wish they’d label how many calories are in each dish in the cafeteria. It makes keeping count so difficult.”

“Is there something strange about me? I thought I studied the fashion norms on land well enough.”

PE Uniform - R

Unlock Card “I don’t necessarily hate Flying class. My broom just doesn't always cooperate with me.”

Groovy “Let’s try to work our hardest.”

Home Setting “I’m not that fond of exercising on land.”

Home Transitions “I’m not ashamed of the fact that I’m not good at sports. You have your struggles too, don’t you?”

“You only have two legs and yet you can walk that fast...? You really are good at this.”

“There’s no harm in looking like you’re trying hard. It gives off the impression that you’re committed and worthy of respect.”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Flying class is almost starting. You always look like you’re having so much fun.”

Home Taps “Coach Vargas was just appalled by me again. If only I were in the water, I could... no, that would still be a problem.”

“I do a light muscle workout everyday. I also make sure to eat in moderation. It’s important to take care of your body.”

“It sounds so obvious, but floating in the water and floating in the sky really are nothing alike.”

“Sports on land make you sweat, and it’s so uncomfortable. ...Right now I’d like nothing more than to plunge into the ocean.”

“Are you trying to mock me? I’ll accept your offer as-is, but expect to have it returned it to you two-fold.”

Lab Coat - SR

Unlock Card “Please leave everything to me. Brewing potions is something I’m very confident in.”

Groovy “I’ll give you some tips for your experiments. Of course, the price would be... Heheh.”

Home Setting “I enjoy classes where the results are very clear.”

Home Transitions “I like experiments. As long as you just follow the instructions, you won’t run into any surprises.”

“There’s a full selection of rare ingredients to choose from here. What a wonderful school this is!”

“Ahh... If only you had my notes, you’d be able to finish all of those assignments in the blink of an eye... Are you interested?”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Please leave the alchemy to me. Churning out riches is one of my specialties. Of course I’m talking about the experiment.”

Home Transition (Groovy) “Even the smallest speck of dust bothers me. ...Why are you looking at me like that? Please, enough with your games.”

Home Taps “Feel free to come speak with me if you ever find yourself unable to find the lab materials you need. I have my ways.”

“Your stomach hurts? I’ll steep some herbs. There’s a brew I’ve been wanting to try out.”

“I’m very particular about my writing tools... It needs to feel a certain way when I sign my papers.”

“Grim is a strange creature. ...Why don’t we try teaching him some tricks? Oh, for no particular reason.”

“You don’t need to keep coming in here; I can see just fine. These goggles have prescription lenses.”

Home Tap (Groovy) “Turning one madol into a hundred is just another component of alchemy. Would you like to try?”

Ceremony Robes - SR

Unlock Card “‘Azul can make any of your wishes come true.’ ...Would you like to see whether or not these rumors are true?”

Groovy “Presentation is important for negotiations to proceed smoothly.”

Home Setting “Do you wish to hear my advice as well?”

Home Transitions “Only the wise should be the ones leading the herd. Don’t you agree?”

“I’ve come up with a plan for an event involving the Ramshackle Dorm; please take a look at it...”

“In a few moments I’ll be starting my lecture on ‘Efficient Study Methods.’ I’m grateful to say we have a full house yet again.”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “The teachers hold Octavinelle students in high regard for being so well-mannered. I’m proud that our students are so exceptional.”

Home Transition (Groovy) “It’s nice to take time off like this every once in a while. ...Truthfully, I’m not at my best when there’s so much activity around me.”

Home Taps “These ceremony robes are much better than any business card. You get all kinds of wishful eyes on you just by wearing these outside the school.”

“I’m having others take care of setting up for the ceremony. My job is acting as the brains.”

“Maybe I should tighten my belt a little... I prefer having a tight figure.”

“Dark, confined spaces put me at ease. I like clothes that come with hoods.”

“You’re so loud. No one likes a lot of blabber.”

Home Tap (Groovy) “Instead of an amulet, it’s better to keep your favorite coin in your pocket.”

Dorm Uniform - SSR

Unlock Card “How lucky you are to have been able to meet someone as kind as me!”

“Balancing this student life with running the Mostro Lounge is something I’m enjoying very much.”

Groovy “Welcome to Octavinelle! We’re always happy to have those like you here.”

Home Setting “If you ever need a consultant, I’d be happy to speak with you anytime.”

Home Transitions “My students become very reasonable with me the moment I put on our dorm uniform.”

“I always put on my right shoe before the left on the mornings of a battle. You could say it’s superstition... Yes, exactly that.”

“I picked out all of the furniture used in the Mostro Lounge. Isn’t the atmosphere just wonderful?”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “Helping others is what I live for. As dorm leader, I’ll support every one of you as best as I can.”

Home Transition (Groovy) “Should you have a wish you’d like me to grant, you’re welcome at the Mostro Lounge’s VIP Room anytime. What do you say about coming over now?”

Home Taps “Jade is a very capable assistant. I wouldn’t have chosen him as the vice dorm leader if he wasn’t.”

“They say the Sea Witch had infused a spiral shell with her own magic. Maybe I should modify the pin on my hat that way as well.”

“Floyd’s mood swings are unbearable to deal with, but I have faith in his power when the time calls for it.”

“You smell something nice? Oh, that must be my cologne. It’s one of the small pleasures I have while being on land.”

“Oh, please don’t interrupt me right now. I’m busy totaling the sales for today.”

Home Tap (Groovy) “Why don’t you work a shift at the Mostro Lounge sometime? The staff meals Jade and Floyd make are simply the best.”

Duo Magic Azul: “Riddle, let’s run this exactly by our plan.” Riddle: “Azul, I’ll put my trust in you this time.”

Birthday Celebration Outfit - SSR

This card was only obtainable during Azul’s birthday event (Feb 22 - Feb 28, 2020).

Login on Birthday “I’m honored to hear that you’ve remembered my birthday. However, unfortunately I don’t accept one-way gifts... But if you insist, please come order today’s exclusive special meal at the Mostro Lounge; I will be joining you.”

Unlock Card “Those who owe me debts are welcome to come today. Let’s all enjoy the party together.”

“I would like to express my utmost gratitude to everyone who congratulated me. That is the courteous thing to do. Isn’t that right?”

Groovy “Thank you for your birthday wishes. I will make sure to show my gratitude appropriately, so please stay tuned.”

Home Setting “There is such odd—er, interesting clothing on land.”

Home Transitions “The staff at my family’s ristorante sent a group photo of them along with their gifts. I’m glad everyone is doing well.”

“A gift doesn’t have to be an object. Letting me listen to your worries is enough. Come, don’t be shy!”

“Heheh. For my birthday, I decided that I will eat as I please without worrying about the calories.”

Home Transition (Login Greeting) “I’m glad my birthday is here. In the business world, you’re looked down on just for being young.”

Home Transition (Groovy) “The Mostro Lounge offers a coral-themed birthday cake. You absolutely must order it for your birthday!”

Home Taps “Idia gave me a board game I’ve been interested in recently. I cannot wait to beat him when we play.”

“Every year on my birthday, Jade and Floyd pull a prank on me. Honestly, what will I do with those two...?”

“When I invited Jamil to my party, he grew suspicious and asked ‘What’s the catch?’ ...And here I only want to get along.”

“Coach Vargas saw me in this outfit and said ‘Let me give you a special flying lesson for your birthday!’ I had so much difficulty running from him.”

“You brought me food again? ...Is that your way of saying I look like I eat a lot?”

Home Tap (Groovy) “I’m always looking for business opportunities at parties, but for today alone, I think I will just enjoy myself as the star.”

Duo Magic Azul: “It’s an honor to receive a birthday wish from you, Malleus.” Malleus: “My best wishes, Ashengrotto.”

Tutorial “Lurking over there is quite rude. Come, I'll show you around.” 

Lv Up “This is just... spectacular!”

“What do you think about my brilliant progress?”

“I’m not done yet... Heheheh!”

Max Lv Up “Ahh... I can feel the power rising in me... I’d like to keep doing business with you from now on.”

Episode Lv Up “A kind soul like you might be an easy target at this academy, don’t you think? If you ever end up in a bad position, do pay me a visit. You won’t regret it.”

Magic Lv Up “My magic power has grown so advanced; I’d like to put it to good use. I would never want to let talent go to waste.”

Limit Break “More... I want more power. Do I look like the kind of man who would be satisfied with this?”

Groovy “I’m feeling good today. I think now would be your chance if you have anything you want from me.”

Lesson Select “Are you tired of your classes? I recommend thinking of it as a game of scoring points from your teachers.”

“I’m fully prepared for any class. Pick whichever one you like.”

“Depending on the price you pay... I could help you study for today’s quiz.”

Lesson Start “Let’s do our best.”

Lesson End “Were you able to see how brilliant I am?”

Battle Start “You poor, unfortunate souls!”

Battle End “Well, you certainly tried your hardest.”

Other

Profile Quote “I’d be more than happy to help you. Now, just sign this contract.”

January 2020 Trailer “If you want to cross the bridge, you’ve got to pay the toll. That’s only natural, isn’t it?”

Countdown Poster “Helping unfortunate folk like yourself—that’s what I live for.”

Login Bonus Greeting “You are surprisingly quite diligent. I, too, enjoy working so steadily.”

Player Birthday Wish “Happy birthday! Today is a special case, in that I will grant you one single wish. ...Of course this isn’t a business deal. I’m only investing in your future self.”

Easter Eggs from The Little Mermaid:

The men up there don’t like a lot of blabber

Poor Unfortunate Souls

Helping unfortunate merfolk like yourself; that’s what I live for

If you want to cross the bridge, my sweet, you’ve got to pay the toll

#azul ashengrotto #voice lines

[jaskierswolf]

Born to Make History Pt. 1/3

Summary: Jaskier is preparing for his first Grand Prix Final. He's skating to On Love: Eros and his routine tells the story of the seductress that woos a certain silver haired hockey player. The only problem is Jaskier can barely stay on his feet whenever Geralt is in the room.

An Ice Skating AU (With Yuri on Ice references but you don’t need to have seen it)

Geraskier - AO3 __________

Jaskier cursed as he felt the edge of his skate catch the ice. He landed ceremoniously on his arse. The take off into the quad salchow had been perfect. He’d gotten enough speed and height as he hugged his arms to his chest as he span in the air. He’d spread his arms wide for the landing but his fucking skate had hit the ice wrong.

“Shit!” He groaned as he went flying across the ice on his butt. “Fucking, cock, balls!”

The grand prix final was flying towards them at breakneck speed and he was beginning to flail. No one had expected him to qualify this year. It was his fifth year in the senior division and whilst he’d done well in regionals and nationals, he was still trying to break into the international league, and this was apparently his year.

“Julian!” Yennefer snapped as she skated over to him. “What the fuck was that? You can land a Salchow in your sleep!”

Yennefer Vengerberg. The bane of his life, otherwise known as his coach and choreographer. She’d also hooked him up with a ballet teacher, Triss Merigold, and he had never been so elegant on the ice. She was still the bane of his life. She was an incredible teacher and was in her prime the best female skater in the world. She’d retired from competing three years ago following an accident on the ice that had injured her spine. She was no longer allowed to make the jumps but her skating and step sequences were still to die for.

She was also insanely strict and honestly scared the shit out of him.

“I fucked up the landing.” He moaned.

“Yes.” She said with a quirk of her eyebrow. “I can see that. Do it again.”

Jaskier scrambled to his feet and skated a loop around the rink to find his feet again.  He would have some lovely bruises but everything seemed to be in order. His ankles weren’t damaged which was the main thing. He sighed as he closed his eyes, picturing the music in his mind as he ran through the routine just before the quad salchow. He licked his lips as he took a deep breath before pushing up off the ice.

He soared through the air as the music sang in his head and then landed perfectly. He grinned and moved through onto the next part of the routine.

“Not terrible!” Yennefer called which was Yennefer speak for actually pretty damned good.

By the time he’d finished the routine he was panting slightly and there was a dull burning in his thighs. His butt was sore but that was probably more to do with his crash than the routine. He skated over to the edge of the rink and rest his arms on the side. “Better?” He asked Yennefer with a wink.

“Your triple axel combination needs work. Your arms were all over the place and would you please stop sticking your tongue out during the step sequences? You look like Roach.” Yennefer rattled off, counting each mistake on her perfectly manicured fingers.

Roach. That was her ex’s cat. He’d seen photographs whenever Ciri, her daughter, joined them at the rink. Ciri was an adorable young girl who was eager to join in once they’d finished up their practice. Jaskier would always guide Ciri around the rink by her tiny gloved hands and help lift her as she jumped from one foot to another. She had ice-skating in her blood. Her father, Geralt Rivia, was a professional hockey player and owner of Jaskier’s heart. Every time Geralt came by to pick up or drop off Ciri, Jaskier stumbled on the ice. He was just so gorgeous that Jaskier apparently lost control of his limbs and turned into a puddle of Jaskier goo on the ice.

He sighed wistfully as he pictured Geralt’s lovely amber eyes and shining silver hair. Of course he was an ice-skater. He even looked like he’d been blessed by some ice spirit or something. Jaskier had had many a dream about pair skating with Geralt, the feel of his strong arms lifting Jaskier high up into the air.

“Jaskier! Are you even listening to me?” Yennefer prodded him in the arm. She sounded completely exasperated, which Jaskier supposed wasn’t entirely uncalled for. He hadn’t been listening and he had no idea how long he’d been daydreaming for.

“Umm.”

“Give me strength.” She groaned and skated away from him with a roll of her eyes. “Can we go through it again with music? Lower the jump difficulty if you’re tired but I want to see your performance.”

He sighed and pushed off from the barrier, tossing his fringe from his eyes. “I. You… My, My performance is excellent!” He muttered.

“Your performance is shit.” Yennefer countered. “Remember your tongue is supposed to stay inside your mouth. Otherwise you’ll bite through it and I’m not taking you to hospital.”

“Urgh.” Jaskier groaned but moved into his starting position. “Just press play already.”

“Oh and Jaskier?”

“What?”

“Geralt is coming in with Ciri. Please do try and stay on your feet.” She smirked and clicked play. The strumming of a guitar filled the room as On Love: Eros began to play.

Jaskier stumbled over his first few moves. Stupid Yennefer and Geralt. He yelled with frustration as he settled into the routine. He knew this. He was good at this. The costume always helped his performance but he was Eros. He was great at seduction. He could charm just about anyone… who wasn’t Geralt. He moved with grace and elegance as he glided around the ice like the seductress that he was. In his mind Geralt was the playboy lover that had come to town and Jaskier was Yennefer. He would seduce the man who had stolen his heart. He had been doing it all season, not that Geralt had ever seen any of his performances but that didn’t matter.

He lowered all his quads to triples. They’d been training for hours and doing quads at this point was too dangerous. His muscles were tired and this run through was about the performance.

Seduction.

Lust.

Love?

The music stopped and the only noise that was left in the rink was the sound of his panting.

He’d done it.

“Yay! Jaskier!” Ciri yelled and clapped. He spun round to see her and Geralt watching from the edge of the rink.

“Oh fudge!” He muttered as he caught Geralt’s eyes. Oh good lord he was so handsome. At least Jaskier was already red in the face from his performance. He could pretend the way his heart was racing was solely to do with exertion.

“Jaskier that was amazing!” She shrieked and grabbed at the rails.

“Ciri, your skates aren’t tied up.” Geralt reminded her as he scooped her up into one arm.

Jaskier laughed and skated over to them. “Thank you, Ciri.” He smiled at the young girl. “Umm. Hi.” He muttered at Geralt a little awkwardly.

“Heard you got to the finals. Congratulations.” Geralt nodded.

“Ah yeah.” Jaskier ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah. Thanks. What did you think?” He asked. “Three words or less?”

“Not bad.”

Jaskier pouted. Great. His first review from the unrequited love of his life and it was ‘not bad.’

“Right. Well.” He muttered. “Thanks for that.” He went to pushed off from the barrier but Geralt grabbed his arm. Jaskier’s eyes snapped up to meet Geralt’s. The blush on his cheeks only intensifying at the contact.

“It was good.” Geralt said in his gravelly voice that made Jaskier’s heart go wild.

God he should have chosen Agape to skate to. Never mind trying to seduce Geralt, he was completely gone on the man. “Oh.”

“I like the music.” Geralt continued with a slight frown.

Jaskier chuckled. “Three words or less, that’s four.”

“You skate beautifully.” Geralt smirked and Jaskier’s skate slipped underneath him.

“Oh sugar!” He groaned as he fell back but Geralt was still gripping onto his arm and he managed not to fall on his arse. “Shhh… Sherbet. Thank you, thanks.” He muttered. “I’m just… gonna.” He pointed to the other side of the rink where there was a gap in the barriers. “I think I’ve skated enough today.”

“But Jaskier!” Ciri whined. “You were going to help me with my toe jump.” She pouted at him with wide emerald eyes.

“Oh alright then. Get your skates on.” Jaskier bopped her on the nose.

“You don’t have to.” Geralt growled. “You must be tired.”

Jaskier waved his hands and scoffed. “Nonsense. I made a promise, Geralt.”

“Hmm. Can I join you?”

Jaskier’s heart stopped in his chest. He resisted the urge to pinch himself. Did he hit his head when he fell earlier? Was this all some dream? Oh god, he was definitely dreaming. “Oh, umm yeah. Yeah. Sure.”

“Might need someone to catch you again.” Geralt chuckled and Jaskier gaped at him.

“Geralt!” He whined. “I am a top figure skater!”

Geralt shrugged.

“Take that back!” Jaskier pointed at him. “Take that back or I’m not letting you on the ice.”

“Hmm.” Geralt shrugged again.

Jaskier huffed and finally skated away from him. His heart still pounding in his chest. When he turned around he saw Yennefer watching them with a smirk from the other end of the rink.

“Are you done? I have notes.” She asked, her arms crossed in front of her chest.

He groaned but reluctantly skated over to his coach. Ciri still needed to finish tying up her skates and Geralt could keep her entertained whilst he finished up with training. He tried not to zone out whilst she pointed out all his mistakes but it was hard with Geralt being so close, and now they were going to skate together. It was a dream come true. It was only Yennefer’s piercing violet gaze that kept him from drifting off into a daydream. Honestly he was thankful that she was so terrifying. He wasn’t sure any other coach would be able to keep him in line. His first coach, when he was still in Oxenfurt, had been too relaxed and Jaskier had often just fucked about.

It wasn’t his fault he was so easily distracted.

The scraping of blades on the ice pulled his attention away. Yennefer sighed and dismissed him with a wave of her hand. Jaskier grinned and spun round to skate towards Ciri and Geralt. Ciri tried to skate away from Geralt towards him but stumbled as she reached him. Jaskier reached out to catch her with a laugh.

“There we go!” He said as he steadied her. “You’ll be a top skater in no time.”

“Hmm.”

“I’m going to play hockey!” Ciri grinned.

Jaskier pouted dramatically. “You won’t need me to teach you the toe loop then.” Ciri’s eyes went wide and she looked like she was about to cry. “But, seeing as you’re wearing figure skates instead of hockey ones.” He winked at Geralt. “I guess I will.”

Ciri grinned. “Thank you, Jaskier!”

They weren’t on the ice long. Jaskier was exhausted from training and Ciri was only young so she got bored quickly. Geralt mostly stayed out of their way, running laps around the rink whilst Jaskier and Ciri practiced her jump in the middle. After about twenty minutes Geralt joined them in the middle and caught Ciri in his arms.

“Enough now, cub.” He murmured. “Jaskier has a big competition coming up. Let him rest now.”

Ciri pouted. “Can we go and see him again?”

Jaskier froze.

Again?

What the fuck did that mean?

He stared at Geralt with wide eyes. Geralt was… blushing? Nah. It was probably just the cold air from the rink.

“Ciri likes to watch you skate.” Geralt grumbled.

Jaskier smirked. “Ciri didn’t call my skating beautiful.” He glided forward slightly putting himself Geralt’s space.

God if Ciri wasn’t here right now….

He bit his lip as he tried to push those thoughts out of his head. Geralt wasn’t interested in him that way. He’d thought that Geralt barely knew he existed before today, but apparently that wasn’t entirely true. Geralt had sneakily been watching his performances.

“That was a joke.”

Jaskier laughed and skated a circle around Geralt. “I don’t think so!” He sang and then before his confidence could leave him. “It’s getting pretty cold in here. Did you wanna grab a hot drink or something?”

“Hot chocolate!” Ciri squealed and wiggled in Geralt’s arms.

“Or coffee?” Jaskier suggested with a tilt of his head. “I was up before the sun today. Yennefer doesn’t seem to understand the meaning of beauty sleep, or course looking like she does, I don’t blame her!”

“Coffee sounds good.” Geralt nodded and skated over to the exit with an excitable five year old in his arms.

Jaskier watched the pair of them, his gaze dropping down to Geralt’s sinfully round arse before grinning to himself and following them out of the rink. 

____

Next

#the witcher #geraskier #ice skating au #yuri on ice #geralt of rivia #jaskier pankratz #figure skater!Jaskier #ice hockey player!Geralt #wolfie's witcher writing #let me know if you want to be tagged

[charincharge]

Kiss and Cry, Part 5

jurdan figure skating au > masterlist

Jude rubbed her temple, which throbbed with pain from too little sleep and caffeine deprivation. Images of Cardan and Locke swam through her mind, distracting her, no matter how hard she tried to focus on the new choreography. Jude was ready to punch something; she’d never had a problem picking up moves before, and Cardan was making her look incompetent. Not only that, but Madoc was getting progressively more frustrated with her.

“No, it’s crossover with arms, tilt, arabesque then into the lift,” Madoc yelled as Jude fumbled the order of the choreography again. “Try it again.”

Jude marked the arm motion and titled her torso to the side, then lifted her leg and spun toward Cardan, who waited patiently with open arms, ready to assist in the lift, the picture of rested and calm.

Jude was even more bothered by that part.

She hopped up and gasped as Cardan’s fingers brushed beneath her breasts. Jude snapped her head towards his smirking face, and she couldn’t help but jab her elbow into his shoulder. The small smile disappeared quickly as Cardan hissed in pain and let Jude wriggle out of his grasp. She breathed deeply, brows furrowed as she glared daggers in his general direction.

“What the hell?” He rubbed at his tender muscle.

“That’s not my waist, Cardan,” Jude hissed. “Watch your hands.”

Cardan rolled his dark eyes. “You’re just so much shorter than Nicasia,” he explained seriously, but Jude could see the amusement in his eyes. “I just need to adjust.”

“Well, adjust faster,” Jude seethed. She knew he was doing it on purpose. And it was pushing her to her limit. Cardan held up his hands in apology.

“Take five,” Madoc sighed, clearly exasperated with the pair in front of him.

That was fine by Jude. She grabbed her empty water bottle and walked out into the hallway to fill it at the water fountain. Cardan slinked up behind her as the water poured into the bottle, and Jude could feel herself tense at the feeling of him hovering behind her.

“Can I help you?” she ground out, refusing to look over her shoulder.

“I should be asking you the same thing,” Cardan retorted quicky. “I’ve never seen you so out of sorts,” he continued.

“I didn’t sleep well,” Jude replied, screwing the top onto her bottle and taking a long sip.

“Funny,” Cardan said. “I slept like a rock.”

Jude couldn’t help but grimace, remembering why Cardan was so well rested. Images of his lithe body in the throes of ecstasy flashed through her mind. She didn’t know why it irritated her so much. But it did.

“Gross.”

“Hmm,” Cardan hummed, his dark eyes slowly perusing Jude’s form. She suddenly felt self-conscious.

“What?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I didn’t realize you were such a slut shamer,” Cardan retorted, his eyes suddenly amused with his own realization.

Jude knew he was trying to rile her up – but she was too aggravated and exhausted and couldn’t help but take the bait.

“I’m not,” she said, jutting her chin out stubbornly.

“I mean, you’re clearly judging me. So, either you’re offended by my sexual activity, or you’re homophobic,” Cardan prattled on, circling the water bottle in his hand with his hand, moving it up and down the cylinder in the most phallic motion he could imagine. Jude cringed again. “Neither is a good look.”

“I just think sex should be private,” she replied, her face warming slightly as she continued to track Cardan’s hand’s motions around his water bottle.

Cardan barked out a loud laugh. “That’s rich, coming from the girl who barged into the men’s locker room.”

Jude’s blush deepened. He had a point, but Jude had no idea what she’d be walking into when she’d gone to confront him.

“You know what I think?” Cardan took a step toward her, infringing upon her personal, and Jude inhaled sharply as his finger twisted itself in one of her chestnut curls. She held her breath, her body going still beneath his touch. “I think you’re jealous.” Cardan’s lips twitched upwards into a wry smile as fury overcame Jude.

“In your dreams,” Jude bit back, pushing his hand away from her face, out of her hair. She needed space.

Cardan bit his lip and his dark eyes became somehow impossibly darker. “Oh, dear Jude, you have no idea how right you are. The things you do with me in my dreams would positively shock you.”

“What, like stab you?” She mimed attacking him, her arm poised with an imaginary blade in her hand.

Cardan laughed, his head tilted back as the joyous noise reverberated through the hallway. “That wouldn’t be shocking to either of us, now would it?” he said, taking another step closer to her. Jude instinctively took a step back, needing to maintain her space.

As if challenged, Cardan took another step forward, until Jude had backed up into the wall. She hadn’t realized she’d inadvertently trapped herself. With no escape, Cardan hovered over her, looming tall and far too interested in her. She’d never been the object of his attention like this before, and it was unnerving. Jude shivered, feeling his warmth radiate between them.  

He leaned down, his breath ghosting over her face as he whispered, “If you need a teacher, just let me know. I’d be most happy to educate you,” he smiled again, and Jude suddenly wasn’t so sure he was making fun of her or not. “With proper instruction maybe you’d finally see that sex isn’t evil.”

“You’re disgusting,” Jude breathed. She attempted to inject some vitriol into her tone, but it was hoarse and husky even to her own ears.

“Ah yes, there’s that frigid exterior I’d love to thaw…” Cardan ran his finger down her cheek, watching the color bloom beneath his touch, but it was short-lived.

“Frigid?” Jude froze, a proverbial bucket of ice water spilling down her back. “You sexist piece of shit.”

Jude ducked under his arm, breathing hard. It wasn’t the first time a man had used that word against her, and it stung. As if being more interested in skating than physical intimacy somehow made her unworthy of romantic attention.

Cardan’s confident face faltered for a second. “I didn’t mean…”

“Didn’t mean to call me frigid?” Jude scoffed. “A commonly sexist term used to describe women who are more sexually conservative? Asshole.” Jude was sure their break was over, and she didn’t want to stand here having this conversation anymore. She began to head back into the studio.

“Jude, I’m sorry,” Cardan apologized as he trailed after her. “I wasn’t thinking.” He reached out and brushed his hand against his shoulder, retracting it quickly when Jude flinched under his touch. “I meant that you’re cold, icy…not that…”

“Whatever, Cardan.” Jude pulled her hair into a fresh bun, tightening her elastic and securing her loose strands. She wouldn’t show him how his words hurt. Instead, she placed on a ferocious mask, ready to attack her choreography.

She stood in front of the mirror and ignored the way Cardan’s dark eyes continuously sought hers out. She’d look anywhere but at him.

His hands remained respectful as she learned the routine, sticking to the safe spots of her waist, hands and calves.

Jude dug into the choreography, refocusing and letting it fill her body until it became second nature. She refused to let Cardan get under her skin, into her head.

“Much better,” Madoc sighed, relieved, as they finished their final run through of the morning. “Let’s call it.”

Jude was anxious to get the hell out of there, and away from Cardan, but Cardan stopped her again with another apology.

“Jude, I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean—” he began again, but Jude held out her hand to stop him.

“Listen, we’re stuck with each other for the next month during practice,” Jude said. “I can’t get out of that. But, the rest of my life is mine. So, just leave me the fuck alone, okay?”

Cardan’s gaze hardened as he nodded, acquiescing to her request.

“Cardan, Jude,” Madoc shouted from back inside the studio. They both walked back to the doorway, waiting expectantly for their coach. “I’m being honored at the Champions On Ice benefit Gala this weekend. As the placing leaders of this team, I’d like you both to introduce me.” Cardan and Jude glanced at each other tentatively. “Please work together to come up with an appropriate tribute. And, yes, it will be black tie, so dress accordingly.” Neither Cardan nor Jude said a word to their coach, so he continued. “Is that going to be an issue?” They shook their heads. “Great.” Madoc clapped his hands. “See you tomorrow.”

Jude glanced over her shoulder at Cardan trailing after her. “I guess we’ll be spending more time together, hm? Should we grab lunch?”  he asked.

She spun around, watching a surprised Cardan pause his pursuit. “Nice try, Cardan. Just draft something up and email it to me, and I’ll do a pass and send it back.”

She turned around again, not seeing Cardan and his sagging shoulders in the middle of the parking lot.

~*~

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#jurdan #jude x cardan #ice skating au #charincharge writes #tfota fanfic #jurdan fanfiction

[shutupandshipit]

Sharpen Your Blades - Ch.7

Summary: “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

The thinning of Aizawa’s patience was evident in the twitching of his brow. “If you stop asking questions, maybe I could finish explaining.

”With a huff and roll of his eyes, Katsuki glanced away from their coach.

“City Hall and the SC want us to give them more variety. We are a team solely made up of single skaters. Every year, we dominate the rankings for single skate while Shinketsu dominates the pairs, so this year both cities are being required to split their skaters evenly between singles and pairs with at least one pair coming from out top five.” There was a collective intake of breath, but no one commented, choosing instead to remain silent. “Unfortunately, for us, it’s a lot easier to switch from pairs to singles. With our male to female ratio, alpha/beta/omega ratio, and those of you actually experienced with pair skating, we’re at a disadvantage. So, I’ve decided to choose your partners for you.”

…..

Or where Katsuki and Izuku are forced to be partners so they can continue to compete, but the blood in the water may be thicker than anyone realized.

Pairing: Bakudeku

Rating: T

Chapter: 7/20

Previously <- Chapter 6: Something about cats and bags

Chapter 8: First Snows -> Next

Chapter 7: Catch

“Making their debut, our first place winners are still unofficial as they haven’t presented yet, but we cannot wait until they do! When they go official, they are going to dominate the competition! So, without further adieu, coming in first place, we have Bakugou Katsuki as lead and Midoriya Izuku as follow! Let’s give these two youngsters a round of applause!”

The announcer’s voice rang distantly in Izuku’s ears. With his anxiety and panic and excitement all mixed together, his heartbeat raced and his face burned. Katsuki’s heat pressed into his side, the back of his neck and shoulders, didn’t help the situation. The thud of his heartbeat in his ears was nearly deafening in the already loud rink. All of the applause and shouting voices and whistling was echoed and amplified by the dome.

Gold medals and pretty red ribbons were hung around their necks. Just another sensation that Izuku’s overstimulated mind struggled to incorporate.

Dizzy nausea swirled over him. The announcer moved on to the second and third place winners, but his mind didn’t stop spinning.

He was only seven. He didn’t know how to deal with his emotions in a healthy way yet, but he knew how to act like he did. It was one of the first things he’d learned how to do when his father started to disappear for longer and longer stretches of time, and his mom couldn’t hold in her grief around him anymore.

While his smile remained firmly in place, he felt himself sway just slightly.

Katsuki’s arm tightened across his shoulders, holding him upright even as his knees turned to jelly beneath him. “Almost done. Then we can go home and watch tv.” His voice was quieter, much quieter than the cacophony around them, but Izuku heard him clear as day. Just like always. Just like it was one of Katsuki’s superpowers. “Can you make it?”

“I can make it,” Izuku told him, and though he wasn’t sure if he was being truthful, he knew Katsuki would make sure it was the truth in the end.

…..

October Week 4

Aizawa stood at the entrance to the rink, but unlike nearly a month ago when Izuku had been on the same side as him, he was on the ice this time. Their coach pinched the bridge of his nose while he waited for them to form up and shut up, brows pulled close together as if he had a headache. It was early in training for him to have a headache though, so Izuku thought that someone else must have caused it this time.

The team quieted down faster than the time before.

Izuku could almost taste their anxiety on the air. Or maybe that was just his own.

“Alright,” Aizawa started, not lifting his head, but cracking his eyes open to stare at the ice, “Who’s seen the news today?” Several hands went up, one of them Izuku’s. “How many of you stuck around to watch the sports section?” All hands dropped, even Izuku’s. The only sport he cared about was figure skating, and the news rarely covered it, even in their city. “Right, so, I’m not sure who let it slip, but somehow the media got ahold of the news that we and Shiketsu are splitting our teams this year.”

Izuku squirmed, remembering Mirio’s words. After a moment, he raised his hand. “Um, Mr. Aizawa, I think I might know something.” Heat rose in his face as all attention swung his way, but he pushed on. “Mirio asked me to verify the rumor last week. I didn’t agree or disagree, but…”

“But you’re shit at lying, so he knew right away,” Katsuki snapped, arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the wall. “The kids I teach also asked me about it last week.”

“Right,” Izuku mumbled, “Well, he said that someone had given him the information. Maybe there’s a leak in the SC?”

Releasing a heavy sigh, Aizawa scrubbed a hand through his hair. “That seems likely. While it’s not going to cause us much of a problem, it might in the coming weeks. You all know how it gets as the season ramps up to the Preliminaries. Keep an eye out for each other. This stunt that the SC is pulling might make things worse, especially when the other teams start to flood in. I’m not worried about the teams themselves, but fans can get crazy. Try not to be out and about on your own if you can help it. Any of you. Yes, I’m talking to you Bakugou. Just because you’re an alpha doesn’t mean idiots aren’t going to try challenging you for being Midoriya’s partner. Keep your heads up, keep them on straight, and don’t do anything stupid. Got it?”

“Yes,” the team called in unison.

“Good. Shiketsu and we are going to be releasing a joint statement concocted by the SC with the names of the skaters who are transitioning between pairs and singles tomorrow, so you can expect to be recognized more than usual in the next few days.” They all groaned, but Aizawa simply waved away their complaints. “Whatever. Pairs, we’re going for large tricks on ice today. Stretch out well. Warm-up. Meet me on the south side of the rink in fifteen. The rest of you, you’ll be with Toshinori and Yamada today. Get going.” Aizawa turned towards the three coaches behind him, mouth set in an irritated line.

Izuku’s throat began to close as the five pairs, Todoroki and Ashido pushed off towards the south side of the rink. Panic leaked from him, and it was all he could do to keep it out of his scent.

Despite that, he still caught Katsuki turning his head to glance over his shoulder at him, but stopping briefly before he could turn all the way. After a second, he turned back forward. Could Katsuki smell it on him even through his blockers? Even though he was trying to force it down? Was he that obvious or did Katsuki just have a strong nose?

Fifteen minutes was far too short of a time to calm anxiety like Izuku’s.

Aizawa was waiting for them when Iida’s watch chimed the end of their warm-up period, and the twelve of them clustered around him and Ishiyama. “We’re going to do one team as a time to keep the ice clear. Ishiyama and I are going to act as spotters, but the ten who will be against the wall need to be alert as well. We’ll be up close and may miss a subtle indication of a fall. So, if you see something, say something or even jump in. I’d rather you get in the middle and it be for nothing than for someone to get hurt. This is mostly directed to those with pair work, but this also goes for everyone else as well.”

Aizawa’s eyes lingered on Katsuki longer than any of the others. He wasn’t surprised. Katsuki was a strong alpha with a long history of pair work. It would make sense for Aizawa to rely on Katsuki, even if it was just a subconscious reaction from the older man’s omega. Even still, the thought had Izuku’s own omega raising his hackles.

‘We don’t have a claim on him!’ Izuku reprimanded, but his omega wasn’t listening.

Aizawa pointed at Izuku. “Midoriya, Todoroki, you’re up first since you’ve got the most difficult tricks. After that, we’ll go through groups in descending order of difficulty. Let’s go, you two.” He turned on a blade, gliding out further onto the ice.

Izuku wanted to throw up.

“Midoriya?” Todoroki’s voice was quiet and gentle, just as gentle as the hand that settled on his shoulder. “Are you alright? Do you need another moment?”

Jumping, Izuku shrugged out from beneath the other omega’s hand with a wide fake smile. “I’m fine! I’m good! Totally a-okay! Let’s get going before Mr. Aizawa gets angry.” He shoved away from the wall sharply, ignoring every set of eyes he could feel boring into his back. He just needed to calm down. Calm down. Calm down. He’d completed every trick off ice multiple times with no screw ups. There was no reason he shouldn’t be able to do it on ice.

Which, of course, was a lie. The ice was a completely different environment than the studio with a host of different factors to consider. So many extra factors to consider.

All he needed to do was forget about them. It seemed counter-intuitive, especially for his ever analyzing mind, but it was the only thing he’d found off ice that allowed him to perform as he should. He just needed to allow his body to move on muscle memory. If he didn’t think, then his mind couldn’t overreact which meant neither could his body.

It was going to work. It had to work.

Todoroki followed after him. The distance was small, but significant. “What do you want us to start with?” he asked.

“Your overhead lifts have been the most solid off ice, so I want you to start with that first. Take it slow. Don’t rush. One step at a time. Plant your feet, make sure you have a solid foundation and a good grip. Once you’re sure of those, then attempt the lift. If something feels off, just abort and return to the ice. Don’t get hurt trying to force it.”

Lifts were the simplest pair trick in Izuku’s opinion. It required strength and balance, but not much else. He didn’t have to think during a lift. All he had to do was not move once Todoroki had him overhead. He could do that. He could manage a lift on ice. There was nothing to them. Lifts were easy. Lifts were easy. Lifts were easy. Lift were-

High.

Izuku shook his head rapidly to clear the intrusive thoughts from his mind. He made himself smile even wider as the three stared at him. “Sure! A lift will be a cinch.”

Aizawa’s eyes narrowed as he glared at izuku, but after a moment, he just sighed. “Alright. Take a round to gain momentum. Don’t attempt the lift until you’re back here and see us in position. You can begin your setup once you’ve reached the other side.”

“Sure thing!” Izuku chirped. He pushed off and waited for Todoroki to fall into sync with him before spreading up.

Just like Aizawa had instructed, they waited until they’d made it to the other side of the rink, skirting the edge of the other group, before beginning the setup for the lift. Izuku slid out in front of Todoroki, turning to face him after a moment. He pulled Todoroki along as the other omega planted his feet and gripped Izuku’s waist.

“Almost there. Ready?” he asked, voice ripped away by the rush of air passed Izuku’s ears, but he recognized the words on his lips.

‘Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think.’ Izuku nodded.

Two dark blurs came up on either of their sides, and then he was above Todoroki’s head, the omega’s small hand digging into his abdomen as he quickly shifted into position. For a moment, his mind was blank. There was just the beating of his heart, the cold air biting into his cheeks. He started to reach back for his blade.

Then he glanced down. The panic he’d managed to suppress flooded back into his body in an icy wave.

His body seized before going limp, mind going as blank as his vision.

…..

Izuku absolutely reeked of putrid acidic anxiety as they warmed up. It was worse than usual, more potent. Each time Katsuki passed him, he got a whiff of his scent. Putrid like sewage or a rotting body. Acidic like vomit or ammonia. All undercut by suppressants that made him smell almost chemically scentless. All together, it was an unpleasant scent, and it only grew stronger each time he passed Izuku.

It made his stomach curdle and his alpha pace restlessly. ‘Protect. Comfort. Omega distressed. Protect. Comfort.’

‘That’s not my place,’ Katsuki through bitterly, but that thought was quickly replaced by another, ‘Not yet at least.’ Not yet. That was a true enough thought. Not yet, but one day he’d earn that right.

Katsuki didn’t know how the others didn’t smell it, how the other omegas weren’t plastered to his sides in an attempt to calm him. That was how other groups of omegas operated. If an omega was unmated, it fell to their pack mates to calm and reassure them, especially pack mates of the same secondary gender.

The same was true of alphas. Katsuki couldn’t count how many times his alpha pack mates (specifically friends like Kirisihima and Ashido) had pulled him aside to get his head on straight. To calm him when he fell into a panic attack during competition.

Those had started when he was twelve, and they’d never really gone away. Luckily, they only affected him during high stress situations like the competitive season, but he was still lucky to have people there to help him unlike when he’d been younger. When he’d been alone in his own head.

That was what pack mates were for. So it bothered Katsuki more than he’d ever let on that neither Icy Hot nor Uraraka made an attempt to calm Izuku. He wanted to yell at them. He wanted to make them pay attention to the real issue at hand rather than ice skating. An anxiety riddled Izuku was an Izuku prone to mistakes. If they were doing the big shit for practice, they needed to take care of Izuku first.

Leaning back against the wall, Katsuki felt his own anxiety leaking into his veins. Kirishima wasn’t there that time to bring him back down though, and so his heart galloped forward unhindered.

When Izuku and Todoroki pushed off towards the singles’ side of the rink, Katsuki stood up straight. When they turned towards each other and prepared for the lift, he dropped his arms to his sides. When they rounded back towards their side and their coaches flanked them, he dug his toe-pic into the ice. Izuku’s face was pinched in concentration, but there was also that ever present fear as he was lifted off the ice.

Katsuki moved before Todoroki had completed the lift. He wouldn’t have been able to explain what spurred him forward. Maybe there was a slight shift in Izuku’s scent from scared to terrified. Maybe there was a twitch in his expression. Maybe the light dimmed in his eyes.

Whatever it was, Katsuki was there before anyone had realized something was going wrong, catching the omega as soon as Todoroki’s arm collapsed from Izuku’s dead weight. Katsuki only managed to keep them from tumbling backwards by digging his toe-pic into the ice harshly.

The silence in the rink was deafening. After a moment of labored breathing as his heart began to slow, he realized that the rink was as loud as ever, he just couldn’t hear it passed the rush of blood in his ears. All of his attention was focused on the man huddled in his arms, nails digging into his bicep and panting breaths hot against his shirt. Izuku’s eyes were screwed shut.

Slowly, sound returned to Katsuki though he would have been happy for a few more moments of white noise.

“What just happened?”

“How did you do that?”

“Midoriya, Todoroki, are you alright?

“We should get them off the ice.”

“Where’s Ms. Shuzenji? Someone go get the doctor!”

“What happened!”

“Shut up,” Katsuki snarled. It was the only sound he could make that wouldn’t portray just how shaken he was. He could feel the trembling in his hands, in his arms, all covered by how badly Izuku was shaking. He was shaking like a lead in the wind, nose buried against Katsuki’s chest. “Stop fucking yelling. Nobody got hurt.”

There was a sharp hysterical laugh from somewhere close by, and Katsuki wasn’t sure, but he thought that it was possibly Ashido.

“Yes, but someone could have been.” That was Aizawa, voice deep and monotone. Lifting his eyes, their coach stood beside them, soothing black tea scent snaking out as his hand clasped Izuku’s shoulder. “That could have gone very badly.”

Katsuki didn’t say anything in return, arms tightening around Izuku instead.

The feel of Aizawa’s hand seemed to snap Izuku out of his own head, and he blinked rapidly at Katsuki’s chest. “W-what happened?” he whispered, fingers easing up and nails coming away red with blood. His movement grew faster, and he frantically pushed out of Katsuki’s hold. “What happened? I was- Todoroki- How-”

“You fucking freaked out and I had to catch your dumbass!” Katsuki spat viciously and angrily, temper rising the longer he was given to process the whole incident. “And you know what? Fuck that shit! That’s the last time you fucking practice with anyone other than me!”

Izuku sputtered wordlessly, cheeks going pink and scent growing sweeter as they stared at each other. After a moment, he squeaked, “Really?”

The change in his scent only pushed Katsuki on. “Yes! If you’re going to get fucking dropped, it’s going to be by me because at least I’ll be able to fucking catch you!” He pushed roughly through the crowd towards the rink entrance. Only when he made it off the ice did he recognize the tightness in his chest, the shortness of his breath, the heat beneath his skin. Bile burned at the back of his throat.

Kirishima’s arm slid over his shoulders, a gesture that would look like familiarity to any of the others, but was really a means to keep him from faltering as he walked. “I’ve got you man. Let’s go outside for a breath,” he said under his breath, guiding Katsuki towards the side exit that faced a small thatch of trees. A place for him to either freak out or wretch in peace.

Not for the very first time, but for the first time in awhile, Katsuki was thankful that his friend knew how to read him like an open book.

#my hero academia #mha #bakudeku #dekubaku #decchan #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #a/b/o dynamics #omegaverse #alpha!katsuki #omega!izuku #figure skater au #no quirks au #my writing #sharpen your blades

[forestwater87]

A big box o’Gwenvid AU ideas: A is for "Aww” and “Angst” and “AAAH”

This post is fucking rad as balls, and I started thinking of fun AU ideas . . . until I remembered that I already have approximately 2 billion WIPs already and don’t necessarily know if any of these have legs as actual fics. But it was fun to think about, so here we are! This is the first of . . . presumably 26 of these? Who knows, but this post we have:

Accidental Marriage AU

In which Campbell convinces incredibly wealthy investors known for their focus on “family values” that the Camp is a sweet family business run by a husband-and-wife team of counselors. The problem, of course, is that it isn’t sweet and its head counselors aren’t married. Campbell only has enough booze to fix one of those situations. 

He’ll figure the rest out in the morning. He thinks better with a hangover, anyway.

(Yes I think this one would be awesome in Campbell’s POV. You cannot change my mind on this.)

Actor AU

Okay, real talk this would just be @whiskyarts​‘s gameshow AU. Because I kinda love the idea of Jerk!David who just pretends to be a sweetheart for the cameras. Except I would cover it with my filthy Gwenvid hands and make it shippy in that antagonistic-hatemance-eventually-turns-into-something-resembling-feelings. There would be lots of angst and snark and sparkly clothes and I would love it and probably no one else would.

Alien AU

An Interplanetary Anthropologist, Gwen, manages to land a position on the Campbell after years of education and networking and plain old hard work. She is an employee of the most impressive warship in the galaxy -- sure, it’s gone to seed a little bit in the last few decades, but it still has its shine if you look at it sideways and squint a little -- and more importantly, it’s work experience! Paid work experience . . . as a janitor.

When the Campbell picks up a POW that the ship’s commander plans to (illegally) sell to the highest bidder, Gwen decides to treat it as an opportunity to build a real-life case study on one of the universe’s rarer life forms while it’s within arm’s reach. But the more she learns about the strange, sunny alien who was his platoon’s only survivor, the more uncomfortable she is with letting him disappear into her captain’s nefarious dealings and -- 

Oh fuck, this is The Shape of Water, isn’t it? I mean, I’ve never seen The Shape of Water but I’m pretty sure that’s what this is. Fuck. Goddamn it. Fuck.

Amnesia AU

David takes a rogue bus to the . . . well, everything -- something that’s more or less routine by now -- and hits his head hard enough to knock him out for almost a full day. When he wakes up, he’s the same cheerful David the camp is used to . . . except for three strange new things:

He doesn’t know where he is or what he’s doing -- doesn’t, in fact, remember anything after some vague memories of childhood.

He’s completely terrified of the forest, and especially of Spooky Island.

He has no idea who Cameron Campbell is, but he’s quite positive he hates him.

Android AU

Actually @ciphernetics​ and I put this idea together a little while ago! Basically Camp Campbell has a state-of-the-art off-brand helper android named David, who is a perfect camp counselor, childcare provider, and comes equipped with the finest Forest Survival software Cameron Campbell could find for free online in half an hour.

Gwen, the new (requisite human) hire, hasn’t ever really interacted with androids, and doesn’t especially want to now. David is used to the distrust, even outright hostility -- very few of the campers seem to like him, and he knows that his presence can be unsettling to humans, and look, it isn’t a D:BH AU okay? It just looks like one, and acts like one. And is one.

Angel/Demon AU

Um the perfect Angel/Demon AU literally already exists, but they only wrote one chapter back in 2017 and never updated, and that makes me absurdly sad. Regardless, David being very bad at being a demon and Gwen being very bad at being an angel is the ideal setup for this kind of AU, in my humble opinion. 

However, David being an angel trying to reform his fallen ABFEL (angel buddy for eternal life!), who probably became a demon over something stupid and probably horny, also sounds extremely cute. They’re still friends, even though that is against literally all of the rules, and they secretly meet and hang out. David is convinced he can bring her around, and Gwen insists that she hates having him hanging off her nonexistent wings all the time. 

Honestly, probably neither of those things are true. Gwen wasn’t cut out for heaven -- and probably, neither is David.

Apocalypse AU

Cameron Campbell was probably doing something dangerously stupid in the hopes it could make him money. That, or the Quartermaster was doing something dangerous for reasons only he could ever understand. Hell, maybe that’s what that weird Daniel guy’s cult was trying to do. Whoever was doing what, they ripped a hole in their dimension at the bottom of Lake Lilac, and all sorts of awful things start creeping through.

There were signs, of course -- that weird fish-monster certainly didn’t come in through customs -- but an inopportune explosion, or wayward firework, or the rumblings of Sleepy Peak Peak, or something ripped a hole in the fabric of reality big enough for Lovecraftian monsters to start crawling through. There’s no stopping it. Really, there’s no chance of even fighting it. 

The second the rift opens, the story becomes one of just trying to stay out from under the Elder Gods’ feet.

Arranged Marriage AU

I think the easiest way to make this one work is by making either David or Gwen Campbell’s actual biological child -- maybe an heir, albeit to a highly illegal fortune and a mountain of credit card debt. But Campbell gets in trouble, the kind of trouble where he’s gambled everything and the only collateral he has left is a kid he got saddled with because their mother had better lawyers. A kid he’s been more than happy to put to work for the last 20-something years, who happens to have caught the eye of a ludicrously wealthy magnate -- not for her own sake (though Campbell would’ve been open to that too) -- but for her child, one she loves more than anything and keeps carefully shut away until the Right Person comes along.

His kid isn’t necessarily the right person, but for the first time in his life Cameron Campbell has a genuine treasure on his hands.

And, like all the fake treasures he’s passed off over the years, he just has to find a way to shine them up and make him a fortune.

Artist AU

Gwen is a starving artist living in a rat-infested hovel in the city, scraping by on a series of uninspired landscapes she paints on postcards and the goodwill of friends, family, and significant others. One day, a bright young man bounces up to her “studio” (it’s a cardboard box outside the park) and tells her excitedly that he’s been looking for her for weeks; he thinks her postcards are the most beautiful things he’s ever seen, and he would like to know if she’d be interested in moving down to a cabin by the lake. He runs a summer camp, he explains, and he knows they’d all be honored if she would teach them art lessons -- and of course paint in her spare time! The views are indescribable, and he’s sure she’ll have no shortage of inspiration.

She weighs the cost of what little artistic dignity she has remaining against room, board, and a steady paycheck for three months, and takes the job immediately.

Art Student AU

Put them in an art college -- maybe condense the ages so that the campers are like, younger students? -- and have Gwen as the Serious Art Student who cares a lot about theory and form and doing things right, and she’s constantly irritated by her classmate David, who sits at the same table as her and has declared them art buddies, and is convinced that the point of art is just to have fun and do your best! Maybe force them to do a group project together and really see them clash.

(Alternatively, there is the infinitely more shameless route of one being an art student and the other being a newd model for figure drawing. I am obviously much too classy to ever insinuate such a thing, but if someone was really looking for a way to write smuht . . . it’s sitting right there. On a table. nekkid. I HAVE TO CHANGE THE SPELLING TO MAKE THIS GO IN THE TAGS ARE YOU KIDDING ME)

Athlete AU

There are 4 major ways this one can go, I feel like:

Basically HSM: Gwen is a small part in her school’s musical (techie, maybe, or the orchestra) and lanky jock David -- which is the most hilarious phrase ever but he’s probably a runner or tennis player, something light on muscles and heavy on speed and springiness -- who’s well-mannered and cheerful but not the brightest, is put into the show as an extra-credit way to bump up his GPA so he can keep sporting his sports, and it turns out he’s both very good at and super enthusiastic about it.

A little like HSM, but as grown-ups: Gwen is the head of the drama/art department, which has just faced heavy cuts to support the superstar sports program, and she furiously storms over to the head coach’s office to let him know exactly what she thinks about him and his stupid meathead jocks. Of course, when the man who opens the door is a sweetheart beanpole with big eyes who already knows her name, she finds it hard to keep up her righteous indignation. And when it turns out that he was completely ignorant of the hit her department took from the budget cuts (or maybe not ignorant, just terminally oblivious) and is almost as upset as she is to hear about it, she’s forced to reconsider everything she’d assumed about Coach Greenwood; maybe he’s not the enemy after all, but someone with whom she can formulate a new battle plan.

Reporter/Famous Athlete AU: Either Gwen is a professional sportsball person and David is the shy, bumbling photographer eager to prove himself, or she’s the plucky, intrepid reporter and David is a good-natured professional athlete who she’s determined to interview.

Teammates AU: Professional or amateur sports team, and they’re just trying to scrape their way out of the bottom of the league without killing each other. 

Author AU

There are a lot of potential interpretations of this AU, but my personal favorite is Gwen as a novelist with two distinctly differing careers: as G. E. Santos, the high-concept writer whose books are critical darlings in the maybe 3 publications that care about such things but whose sales can’t quite crack the triple digits; and as Annabelle Elizabeth, whose steamy erotica regularly tops the bestseller lists and is reviled by all of G. E.’s colleagues as “populist genre trash.” 

The only person alive who knows about her Jekyll-and-Hyde author personas (besides her older sister Audree, who plays the part of charismatic and sensual Annabelle flawlessly) is her editor, David. He’s an odd choice, as her colleagues in both fields have pointed out -- reading her romance novels with his pen in one hand and the other covering his eyes, peeking through his fingers to write tremulous notes in the margins; stumbling through her ponderous literary works with a dictionary in his lap and his tongue between his teeth, poring through them like he’s learning a new language -- but he’s the only person Gwen will allow to touch her writing. 

Maybe it’s because he always seems like her biggest fan. Maybe it’s because she’s known him since they were at a summer camp together years ago. Maybe it’s because he believes in her in a way no one else does -- in a way she absolutely doesn’t believe in herself.

David is, for reasons she’s not entirely sure how to explain even to herself, the only person she trusts.

Avian (Bird People) AU

Centuries ago, it was said, avians were a rarity, an aberrant mutation to be locked up and intently studied but never trusted. Some people thought they were antichrists, a sign of the end times, when all normal humans would be destroyed and only the strange bird-people would remain.

In a way, maybe they were. Because when the earth’s crust ripped open and flooded the planet with magma and boiling water miles deep, avians were the only ones who could take to the sky.

Not all of them, certainly. In fact, most were locked up in detention centers and laboratories when the Swamp formed, and were unable to escape in time. Considering the people who could get to high enough elevations to escape the deluge, there were decades afterwards where the decimated human population outnumbered the avian one. Those were periods of tension, outright war and tentative alliances -- even romances, the kinds of great love stories that dragged both avian and human populations a few generations along when one or both of them should’ve died out.

That was over two hundred years ago, however. Now the Swamp is a murky expanse of scalding water and the boiled remains of civilization transformed into unrecognizable muck, with islands of “land” cobbled out of what remains. This is where the avians live, now. And humans don’t live anywhere, not anymore.

At least . . . that was what they thought.

#campcamp #camp camp roosterteeth #cc david #cc gwen #cc campbell #gwenvid #forestwriting #big box o'gwenvid aus #this was absurdly fun #the fun thing about the last one is it could be either avian!Gwen and human!David or vice versa #or avian!Gwenvid and human!insert-camper-of-your-choice (it's max. it's always max) #there are some cool ways to work with it #humans could be the bad guys #there could be no bad guys #i actually really like this au idea even though i doubt i'll write it

[carruechedaily]

KARRUECHE TRAN: THE SUPER-HUMBLE, SUPER-TALENTED SUPERWOMAN

Karrueche Tran needs no introduction, considering she’s been a household name for those who are into celebrity gossip for nearly a decade. “Hi, it’s Karrueche” is the first thing she says when she calls me from her cell phone, quickly followed by an apology for being like, three minutes behind for our scheduled interview. Important note: In my phone-interview-with-celebrities experiences, 99% of the time their publicist is making the perpetually late call, lifelessly greeting me verbatim with “I have [insert celebrity here] on the line.” Annoyingly often the publicist will require that I submit questions in advance for approval, which I do. When I throw in non-approved questions during the actual chat, the celeb offers a nervous, meh-media-trained response—that is, if the publicist, who has been listening to our conversation in an intense manner on mute all along, doesn’t interrupt and shut that shit down. That is not at all the case with Los Angeles born-and-raised Karrueche Tran. Whew! She actually wanted to talk, and was enthusiastic, humble, and filter-fucking-free during our nearly 40-MINUTE conversation. The 30-year-old was just finishing up at a gym in New Orleans, where she’s currently filming season three of Claws. Tran acts opposite the perma-fantastic Niecy Nash in the psychotically amazing, women-led (both on and behind the camera) dramedy that’s been described as Steel Magnolias meets Breaking Bad. In short, Claws is about five fierce manicurists who work at a nail salon in Manatee County, Florida and find themselves laundering money from a strip mall pill clinic in hopes for a bigger, better life. Tran nails it (sorry, had to) as Virginia, an unapologetically-herself ex-stripper. Her scene-stealing one-liners are simply everything: Virginia’s response to “Does it always have to be about you?” is “Uh yes, girl. I’m a millennial.” Tran has been immaculately executing the okurrr as Virginia long before Cardi B trademarked the phrase, and her maximalist, millennial-pink-heavy, Cher Horowitz-rivaling numbers—which, in the forthcoming season, will include a bedazzled eye-patch as a, spoiler alert!, style choice due to Virginia taking a bullet in the season two finale—are unrivaled. Thrown involuntarily into the scrutinizing spotlight in her early twenties for reasons that we won’t entertain mentioning, the then-mysterious Tran could have used the frantic fascination around her for a career in reality television and Flat Tummy Tea-sponsored Instagram posts. But “As if!” to promoting the aforementioned laxative, which is clear to her 8+ million Instagram followers, where she’s very open about her body image struggles, self-acceptance, and self-love. Tran talked in detail with me about that and so much more, including her thoughts re: her wild journey, from those damn TMZ headlines to her breakout role on TNT. Forgive me, but the slogan from the early-2000s MTV program, Diary, came to my millennial mind after we said goodbye: “You think you know but you have no idea.” Below, Tran introduces the (very) real her—the girl who once worked at a boutique on Robertson Boulevard and who dreams of starring in a box office blockbuster. She’s definitely got what it takes, and I, like so many others, will forever root for (a.k.a. stan) this super-humble, super-talented superwoman. You’ve been very open about your body image struggles, self-acceptance, and self-love. When did you become comfortable with your body? “

It took me a long time to be comfortable with who I am. Especially with my previous relationships or just with men in general, I knew what they liked and I knew that I would never be that because I’m a small, petite person. I think curvy women are beautiful, and I would love to have that, but that’s not how I was created. It took awhile for me to realize This is how you were born. This is how God made you. If you want anything close to it, then you need to work for it in a natural way. That’s why I workout—I don’t workout to stay thin. I workout to stay fit and healthy, but to also build muscle.” So many women can relate, and I’m sure so many consider you a role model. “That’s why I try to be very vocal. There are a lot of girls out there who are having the same problems as me. They’re always told, ‘Oh, you’re so small. You’re so tiny. You’re so cute and little.’ It’s like, Shut the fuck up. I’m 30 years old and I can pass for a 15 year old, which is a blessing because I look young, but it’s like, I’m a grown woman and I want to be treated as such. For me, and for a lot of people, having a butt and boobs signifies being a woman. It is hard, but I’ve learned to work around it and accept who I am—and keep doing my squats!”

I just have to say, you’re perfect. I’m not being creepy—I’m gay! “

Heyyy!”

Heyyy! By the way, you and your boyfriend make such a cute couple.

“Thank you. He makes me feel very comfortable with who I am, which is great because it makes me feel more confident and reassured that he cares and loves me. It’s really great to have that support from him.”

You’ve been in the public eye for almost a decade, but 2017 was the year you had your breakout role as Virginia in TNT’s Claws. Was it difficult to make it in the acting world?

“My story is quite interesting. The way I was first introduced to the world was from my past relationship that was obviously very public—that’s how a lot of people knew of me and recognized me. I do remember one time very early on in my career when I first started going to auditions. The casting director was like, ‘What do I know you from? Your name sounds so familiar… Oh yeah! I’ve seen you on TMZ.’ At that time, there was still so much press I was dealing with. I was like, Oh lord, I can only imagine what this woman has seen or heard about or read about me, which may or may not be true. And I was like, Fuck, that’s not the best first impression—being the girl on TMZ that has this relationship drama or whatever the fuck it was at the time. “When I made the decision to be an actor, I wanted to be taken very seriously. I had a lot of opportunities to do reality television and make big money, but it just didn’t feel right. I really wanted to have some sort of longevity in a career. I didn’t wanna bullshit around just to make money—I believe in doing things that I actually stand for.”

Can you tell me more about your acting journey leading up to this breakout role in Claws?

“I had a very, very small role in a horror film. I had like one line and I was very nervous, but from there, I was intrigued. I worked hard and took a lot of group classes where I could break out of my shell and not be so embarrassed around other people. With acting, you have to be vulnerable. “Once I was in those classes, that’s when I booked Claws. In between that time, I had done a lot of different shows and low budget, independent films. But Claws was the biggest production. So I went right back into classes, because if I’m on a show with Niecy Nash, Carrie Preston, Jenn Lyon, Judy Reyes, Harold Perrineau…all of these amazing, experienced, well-known actors, I’m like, Look, I’m not gonna be looking like the new girl! [Laughs] Going into it, I made sure to study with my coach and just really focus. I’m 30; I don’t have time to fuck around and just figure things out. It’s pivotal for me to focus on something that I love and to just keep working at it and perfecting my craft.”

You’ve been famous since your early twenties, but I’ve never seen photos of you stumbling out of the club or anything wild. How have you dealt with “the fame?”

“It’s weird, because I just see myself as being Karrueche from LA. Before I was introduced to the world in a very public way, I had jobs, I was hustling, I was figuring my life out. This journey that I’ve gone on…sometimes I think about it and I’m still mind blown. I was once working at a boutique on Robertson and now I’m on a TV show. “But I try not to think about it too much and let it consume my mind. I never want to change who I am because I’m famous now. I don’t believe in that; I believe in being true to who I am and adjusting to this new life, but still being humble and genuine. I’m lucky to have a great family and I still have friends that I’ve known since middle school and high school. It’s a blessing. My friends and my family are my foundation.”

Let’s talk about fashion. You pumped down the catwalk for The Blonds’ New York Fashion Week show. How was that experience?

“It was a lot of fun. I was so nervous. I’ve always been intrigued by runway models because they’re just beautiful, tall, lean, confident, and strong, and I never thought I could ever model because they’re at least 5’9”. I’m 5’1”! I was like, Oh my God, I feel like a little shrimp right now! But it was a great experience; I had fun. I don’t know if I’d do it again because I was just so nervous and in my own head, but it was a great time and I love David and Phillipe [Blond]. I appreciate them having me be a part of their show.” Well, Lil’ Kim has to be shorter than you, and she strutted down the runway and shut it down! “Oh. My. God. Yeah, she was so dope and her energy! She came out and I was like, Oh shit!”

Now for some random questions. If you could spend a few months anywhere in the world, where would it be?

“If I could spend a few months in New York and work during the summertime, I would love that. For a year, I would love to live in Jamaica or Turks and Caicos or Belize. Somewhere very tropical. This is my retirement goal.”

That should have been the question! Where do you see yourself when you retire?

“Living somewhere very tropical, owning a jerk chicken shack where I’m cooking the food myself. And I’m super tan, smoking weed, and in a great mood. I’ve been to all these places and I was like, I see myself here. Everyone is so nice and the energy is so good. I could live there forever and be content.”

If you could wear only one designer for the rest of your life, who would you want it to be?

“Oh, shit…I would probably say anything that Virgil [Abloh] makes. He is so talented and he is dominating the world right now. Killing it. I would wear anything that man put on me.”

And if you could raid anyone’s closet and steal their shit, whose would it be?

“Do you know who Aleali May is? She can pull anything off and she’s just really dope. I would love to be able to wear all her clothes. And she’s also from LA!” How would you describe your personal style in a few words? “Crazy, sexy, cool petite panache.” And sorry, the question that everyone asks: Where do you wanna be in five years?

“In five years, I want to be on the beach. No, I’m just kidding! In five years…it’s kind of around the corner. Time flies.”

It sure as shit does.

“I would love to be continuing on this path of growth and success and self-love. Just taking care of myself. I’d also love to be in a couple of huge box office movies.”

I can totally see you playing a superhero.

“Oh my gosh! I don’t know what it freaking is, but you might be the 20th person that has said that recently. I would love to as well. That is the fucking dream role. I’m knocking on some wood right now that hopefully that comes true one day.” Karrueche wears dress by The Dolls House, headpiece from Century Girl Vintage, shoes by Manolo Blahnik

I can see it now. The new Storm and/or the new Catwoman…

“Oh, fuck yeah! Hopefully in a few years! [Laughs]”

Is there any actor you would die to work with?

“Halle Berry!”

Who has played both Catwoman and Storm…!

“Mm-hmm! That’s why I laughed when you said that. I see so much of my character Virginia with her character from the movie B*A*P*S.”

Speaking of Virginia, how did you prepare to play her? Where did you find your inspiration to bring her to life?

“Well, because Virginia came from the strip club, before we started shooting, I stayed in Atlanta for a week. They’re huge on their strip clubs! I went to the strip club daytime and nighttime and studied the girls, their movements, the way they looked at other strippers, the way they looked at customers, and the men that were there. I was trying to envision myself as one of them, which I think helped a lot for figuring out Virginia’s mindset.”

Virginia’s been through a lot, and the show doesn’t shy away from it, like when she chooses to have an abortion and must confront the pro-life protesters.

“A lot of shows would shy away from it or are too afraid to acknowledge that topic because it might be sensitive. But we’re bringing light to reality and to things a lot of women go through. It’s very empowering for us to relay a storyline that’s not always talked about that people can relate to and connect with. That’s why I love this show.”

#Karrueche #Karrueche Tran

[sportsgeekonomics]

BEWARE THE NCAA OKEY-DOKE on NIL!

I read this article last week  by Dennis Dodd (https://www.cbssports.com/college-football/news/mark-emmert-open-to-student-athletes-earning-money-off-their-likeness-but-fails-to-recognize-the-urgency/)and it reminded me of something everyone should always remember: BEWARE THE NCAA OKEY-DOKE! 

Dodd quoted Mark Emmert as saying:

 "We've talked to the congressman and tried to understand his position," Emmert said in his annual state of the union address at the Final Four. "There is very likely to be in the coming months even more discussion about the whole notion of name, image and likeness [and] how it fits into the current legal framework.

"Similarly, there needs to be a lot of conversation about how, if it was possible, how it would be practical. Is there a way to make that work? Nobody has been able up with a resolution of that yet."

This is one of the oldest NCAA tricks there is, which is to address something on the surface but not really change.  As an example, look at the SAAC, which is a sort of fake union the NCAA set up to fend off past efforts to unionize college athletes.  Or the Student Assistance Fund, which is designed to provide money to really poor athletes so their lack of proper clothing isn’t an embarrassment to the NCAA or a vehicle for people to argue that athletes deserve to earn what they are worth.  In NCAA logic, if you solve the symptom (athletes have no outlet, athletes have no winter coats) you can avoid solving the problem (athletes have no SAY, athletes have no RIGHT to earn their worth so they can afford a coat).  This is just more of the same.

Here you have Emmert saying they are open to allowing NILs but then claiming to not know how to do it.  Since the basic idea behind NIL rights is pretty simple: stop preventing athletes from signing contracts with endorsers, the "no one knows how” misdirection is a tell that they don’t want to actually give athletes their rights, but instead they would like to give them a sop they can claim is close enough.  I would wager a large chunk of change that the NCAA version of NIL rights would be something like this:

If someone wants to commercialize his/her image, they submit a permission request to an NCAA committee or quasi-independent group (perhaps headed by Condi Rice again) which assesses the market rates for a person with a comparable Q score [and most college athletes will have a very low Q score outside of their college town] and then put a cap on the dollar amount that third party can pay that athlete.  And if it so happens the third party has donated money to the athletes’ school, then it will either be forbidden outright or further curtailed.  

It won’t be a market – it will be a Politburo. 

And the thing is, almost surely, for the vast majority of athletes, the business that would want to tap into their (local) star power to sell products would be the sort of business already sponsoring the sports teams at that school.  The Chevy dealer who wants the offensive linemen to come and pose in front of some pickup trucks looking beefy is already “the Official Truck of the Generic State Football Program.”  The local competitor to muscle milk who gives free product to the basketball team is also the company that wants those muscled basketball players to be in local ads, etc.

My caution is that every time you hear “but what’s the plan?” recognize that it an invitation to move away from the elegance and simplicity of a market into something centrally planned, and moreover that impulse is not designed to improve the system, but rather intentionally to harm it, to delay it, or perhaps even to eradicate it entirely. 

If I can make another prediction, I would wager you will eventually hear an NCAA person say “we want to make sure these are not FAKE NIL payments.”  And if you ask what fake means, they are not worried the business will offer $100 but then not pay, but rather they are worried the business will offer $1,000 when in the NCAA’s mind, $100 was the right amount.  The NCAA is worried about athletes getting too much, not too little.  Becasue in the bizarro world of the NCAA, getting more than the NCAA thinks you should is evidence of you being exploited.  Really.

Stepping out of bizarro world, can you think of a reason why Americans should be worried if a privately owned business decides, based on its own assessments, that paying a celebrity endorser is worth $x to them?  Or that there sshould ever be government or private trade organization intervention to say "no, no, no – that’s too much money to pay that person.  He/she isn’t worth that much-- you mustn’t exploit them by overpaying them.”

Let’s put it this way, if that IS how we want America to work, Mark Emmert is the first person I want this new system to scrutinize.

What they mean by fake is “we are worried that the NIL payments will function as a bundled payment for NIL and also playing services, since a lot of the sponsorship will come from people whose goal is not just to sell product but also to make their local team better.”

First off, as someone who believes that by and large and with limited exceptions (e.g., human organs), markets are the best means of allocating scarce resources, why should anyone care even if the goal is to make the local team better.   Every local car deal with a connection to a university will want to do that and if Alabama’s boosters care more than Troy’s boosters, then Alabama will have a better team (like that do now) and higher NIL earnings (like they don’t know).  The only difference will be the earnings of the young men and the taxes they pay the State of Alabama and the IRS.  I could on a long jag about how, no this won’t hurt competitive balance by making Alabama better than Troy, but I’ve done that before and you can read it all here: https://deadspin.com/the-competitive-balance-argument-against-paying-athlete-1576638830.

 But as an economist whose very first published paper was on valuing intangible IP (it’s about how to figure out the right real-world price for an imaginary sword in a computer game: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BxM4wdtZ5uI-enRJZE5qTjFCVVk/view?usp=sharing ), I can assure you that any purchase/licensing of intangible IP rights like NIL is always a bundled purchase.  To the local car dealer in Tuscaloosa, of course the NIL rights of an offensive lineman are greater if he attends Alabama than if he goes to Troy.  And so if any local booster is seen trying as trying to improve Alabama football via NIL payments, I would argue that that’s just good business.  Is he going to sell more cars when he is sponsoring Alabama football and using a star recruit in his ads if Alabama goes 11-1 or 8-4?  And so any claim that someone on some committee can assess what portion of a free market offer between a willing buyer and a willing seller is “real” vs. “fake” that cannot assess the value of the athletes playing skill as part of “real” is not going to capture the full value.  Especially for athletes, where their skill is so inherently part of their commercial appeal (with a limited number of exceptions for athletes of rare charisma or physical beauty), how could an NCAA committee ever disentangle the complex economics of commercial appeal of a celebrity from the complex economics of the utilitarian value of an athlete to a team.

So (1)  it’s a fool’s errand even for a wise council aimed at the truth.

Amd (2) I doubt the NCAA’s goal is the truth so much as simply to depress payments b/c they fear if their athletes win the right to a market rate for their NIL they might start asking for the rest of their rights too.

And (3), why would we even want to interfere with the world’s best assessor of true market value – a vibrant market with many buyers and many sellers, operating without collusion among either side of the transaction?

If we need a plan to get the NCAA on board, I propose we use the plan that is already in place for figuring out how much of every school’s head coach’s radio gig is a payment for his radio charisma vs. a payment based on his coaching skills.  We should use that exact same plan for the athletes.  After all, we can tap into that same bureaucracy the NCAA uses to assess market offers for coaches and to separate out the real from the fake payments.

What’s that?  There is no plan to do that, we just let schools and radio shows and coaches negotiate in a marketplace?  Exactly!  And that’s also how much plan we need for the equivalent transactions for athletes.

As some people reading this know, I am part of a group trying to create a professional college basketball league, the HBL  (HBLeague.com).  We have a plan for how our athletes will be allowed to commercialize their NIL, and at core our extremely complex system boils down to: "you own your brand.  Go get an agent and make some money.”

Now it’s a tad more complex if they want to use HBL trademarks in the ad or get a group license with dozens of other players, etc., but even those complexities are easily solved.  For example, the NBA and the NFL and pretty much every professional team sport has sorted all of those rules out and it is a wheel the HBL did not need to reinvent, so we didn’t.  The only reason the NCAA doesn’t feel it can borrow from the existing solutions for how athletes can use their rights to maximize their brand value– and listen carefully – is because the NCAA DOES NOT WANT Athletes to maximize their brand value.  To the NCAA, the problem isn’t that a market WON’T determine the optimal payment level for each athlete, but that it WILL.  And that’s the last thing the NCAA wants because the NCAA is built on the idea that it can abrogate athletes rights for its own convenience and economic gain.

 This is not really about the amount of money, rather it is about economic rights.  If America is fine with a radio show providing “fake” salary to a football coach for doing a weekly radio show, as a way to supplement his income beyond what a state entity like a university can pay, then it should not be good public policy to take that same right away from the starting QB.  The QB is not less of an American than the coach.  And the system that works for the coach will work just as well for the QB.  Or else, as I said above, let’s start with Mark Emmert.  Let’s put the microscope on what the head of a non-profit organization based in Indianapolis should earn if we separate out the fake parts of his pay from the real.  I’d be happy to serve on that particular committee.  Heck, I’d do it for free, for the love of the game.

[welllpthisishappening]

Playing Man Down

It’s the dumbest idea in the history of all ideas. 

There is no idea that has been more dumb than this one. And yet...Emma’s stubborn and determined and really goddamn good at playing lacrosse. So she’s going to prove it. To everyone. To her friends and her ex-boyfriend and the unfairly attractive guy she just so happens to be sharing a room with. 

Or: a lacrosse themed She’s the Man AU

Rating: Like a low M. Swearing. Kissing. Lacrosse slashing. Word Count: Probably way too many, that’s why it’s two chapters. AN: Several months ago I had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week and in an attempt to reclaim some of my positivity I asked the internet for CS prompts. One of them was a She’s the Man AU, which let’s be honest, is a classic of our time, but I’d just written an Out of the Frying Pan soccer story, so they play lacrosse instead. Because, let’s also be honest, Killian Jones is a for realz lax bro name. Also I love lacrosse a lot. I’m bringing this back because it never got posted on its own and because I’ve been covering a lot of lacrosse recently and for no other reason than I really enjoyed writing this.

Also on Ao3 where there are two chapters because words and an entire never-ending list of prompts that I am always open to add onto. 

It’s hot.

She remembers that.

She doesn’t remember much else. It all seems to happen in a blur – anger clouding her vision and her muscles and Emma’s vaguely aware of making some kind of strangled sound, but she can barely hear it over the rushing in her ears and then she’s moving and her hands are moving and it’s not exactly good form, a fact Neal is quick to point out, but she’s fueled solely on frustration and fury and, possibly, global warming.

Because it is so goddamn fucking hot.

She punches him and smacks at his shoulder and then tries to check him, without a stick in her hand and she wishes she had a stick in her hand because she’d slash him in the knees. That’s not even the right term.

Neal would point that out as well.

Because, she’s suddenly realized, Neal Cassidy is a goddamn fucking asshole.

“This is something we’ve known for years,” Ruby mutters after Emma’s just recounted the story again and her words are starting to slur together the more she repeats herself. Or the more alcohol she drinks.

She’s had a considerable amount of alcohol to drink.

“Hey,” Elsa chastises softly, but it doesn’t really sound all that threatening when the three letters all sound like one, enormous sound and Emma’s head is starting to pound. Mary Margaret is an incredibly heavy weight against her side, resting on Emma’s shoulder with an arm draped over her legs and a faint hint of tequila smell just wafting through the air. “Don’t do that,” Elsa continues. “Now is not the time for I told you so’s.”

She blinks once when she realizes she’s just mumbled a word that isn’t actually a word and if Emma still weren’t so incredibly pissed off she’d probably laugh. She can’t laugh with Mary Margaret more or less lying on top of her.

Elsa mouths so’s again, like she’s testing it on her tongue and Ruby makes some kind of God-awful noise that might be a laugh, but just sounds like a cackle. It hurts Emma’s head. And her entire body.

She’s fairly certain she dislocated her middle finger earlier.

“Here,” Graham says, appearing out of nowhere with an actual tray in one hand and an understanding smile on his face. “You need to hydrate. Desperately.”

He sinks onto the edge of the coffee table Emma’s feet are propped up on, resting the tray on his knee and nodding towards the glasses of water, an unspoken command to take them and hydrate that Emma knows she should listen to, but absolutely does not because even the idea of consuming any sort of liquid that isn’t tequila seems like the worst idea in the history of the world.

Or maybe that was beating up her boyfriend earlier that afternoon.

Ex-boyfriend. Decidedly ex. Happily ex. Absolutely.

“I need another drink, Humbert,” Emma announces, leaning forward and that’s an even worse idea. The whole room spins with her and Mary Margaret makes some contradictory noise in the back of her throat.

Graham levels her with a knowing stare – some kind of look that seems to scream you are an adult, act like one, but Emma just huffs and sticks her tongue out and Ruby cackles again.

It’s all Neal’s fault, really. And she could do it. She absolutely could do it. She could…

“Emma,” Graham says, snapping her out of her thoughts before she can stand up and try to find Neal so she can punch him in the face again. “Stop thinking about it. It’s not going to change anything. And it’s not even a good gig.”

She growls, slinking lower into the couch until one of her legs falls off its perch on the coffee table. “It’s absolutely a good gig,” Emma argues and they’re all starting to repeat themselves again. “And I could totally do it.” “I’m not questioning that.” “No?” “No.” “Seems like it.” “I’m not.”

“Yuh huh.”

Graham scowls, grabbing a glass off the tray and pushing it into Emma’s hand until she doesn’t have any choice but to actually accept it. She’d dump water on Mary Margaret’s head otherwise.

“Ok,” Ruby announces, waving her hands through the air and barely managing to keep her balance on the seat she’d claimed as hers as soon as Emma told the story the first time. “Go over it one more time.” Emma’s not sure who makes the loudest noise – it might be her – but Ruby just glares and it’s not even midnight yet and she’s lost track of the number of drinks she’s had and she kind of feels bad for Graham because he absolutely did not agree to be everyone’s keeper that night.

“Fine,” Emma sighs. “The story, as I have told sixteen-thousand times already is that the bonds business I was working at went under unexpectedly without much notice and, now, if I want to keep this very lovely apartment we all seem intent on destroying tonight, then I need a job for the summer.” “And you decided to ask Neal about a job?” Ruby asks. Emma rolls her eyes. They’ve been over this, at least, twelve-thousand times. “Why?” “They’re dating,” Elsa says reasonably and Emma’s definitely the one who makes noise that time. “Were,” she corrects. “Were dating. That’s not a thing anymore. That is the opposite of a thing. What’s the opposite of a thing?” “I think those exact words.” Emma’s eyes are going to get stuck rolled into the back of her head. She tries not to think about that – her tequila-filled stomach can’t quite cope with that. “Anyway,” she continues, tracing absentminded patterns on Mary Margaret’s back. “He’s got that summer thing with Regina Mills’ clinic or whatever and there are rich kids to teach lacrosse to and I figured he’d be all in on us getting to spend the summer together and playing and…” And it didn’t work.

Or, well, more to the point, Neal was positive it wouldn’t work.

Emma wasn’t sure it was a particularly distinct difference, but it seemed to be the crux of the problem. She’d heard of the Mills clinic for years – teammates who’d signed up to coach during the summer and it’d be hot, but the pay was good and the kids were, probably, talented if not a little pretentious because they were spending their summer at a lacrosse clinic, but she wouldn’t have to worry about room and board and, well, she was a former All-American. She’d set records at UMass for God’s sake.

Neal didn’t seem all that impressed by it.

“It just wouldn’t work, Em,” he said, like she was supposed to accept that answer. She didn’t. She kept pushing and asking and finally he just sighed dramatically and rolled his whole head and told her what he was really thinking. “It won’t work because you’re a girl and girl’s lacrosse is...well, it’s not real lacrosse is it? There’s not even any checking. You get fouled for checking. What are you going to teach these kids, Em?”

Her memories got kind of hazy after that, just flashes of red that might have been a visible representation of the questionable heat wave they’d had in the last few days, but also might have just been her anger and Emma didn’t listen to anymore explanations before she started throwing fists and absolutely against-the-rules checks.

“So, the short version, since I’m not repeating myself anymore,” Emma says. “Is that he thinks I couldn’t work at this clinic because I am a girl and girls can’t play lacrosse and don’t know how to check, which is just...insane, right Humbert?” Graham blinks once, as if he’s surprised to be involved in the conversation, and they’re going to have to buy him a ridiculous amount of replacement tequila for dealing with all of them for most of the night.

“Of course, Em,” he promises with a smile and Emma’s suddenly thrown several years into the past with memories of meeting Graham Humbert at forced athletic icebreakers freshman year. He’d set records at UMass too – assists in a single-season their junior year and the guy’s team was awful, but it was early Division I years and Humbert never complained.

He never did anything wrong.

They asked him to coach at the clinic weeks ago.

“Plus,” Ruby adds, still wobbling slightly until Graham pushes a glass of water in her hands as well. “What Cassidy failed to realize was that you’ve got all that pent-up aggression stored from years of not being allowed to check anyone and go along with all those weird restart rules.” “You’ve been holding in your feelings about women’s lacrosse for awhile haven’t you?” Elsa asks knowingly, one eyebrow lifted and Ruby shrugs in response.

“It doesn’t make any sense. Why are the rules different? They aren’t in soccer.” Mary Margaret makes another noise – another age-old argument and none of them should really be friends. It doesn’t make any sense at all.

Emma was never sure how she stumbled into lacrosse, but for a kid who spent most of her childhood shipped around the country, a sport that allowed her to, literally, carry a stick and hit people had its appeal. Until she got to high school and learned the rules for her brand of lacrosse and it took an entire season of penalty minutes and unreleasable fouls to change her approach.

It worked out – UMass came calling the spring of her junior year and she didn’t have many other offers, certainly nothing else Division I, and it was impossible to turn down a free ride. There was a lacrosse joke in there somewhere.

And the irony that she was about to play for a team called the Minutemen when she’d spent most of her career arguing against girls rules was not lost on Emma.

It was the first thing Ruby had talked about when they, quite literally, ran into each other at another required athletic event. “This is the worst isn’t it,” Ruby grumbled and Emma nodded and, well, that was that.

They kept talking and kept bashing the ancient, vaguely patriarchal tendencies of the NCAA and Emma met Mary Margaret three weeks later. She’d grown up with Ruby in some tiny town in Maine and she was the living, breathing embodiment of all things sweet, a physical therapy major who wanted to work with athletes eventually – or so Ruby told Emma. And, for awhile, Emma believed her until she went to one of Ruby’s soccer games with Mary Margaret who seemed to lose any semblance of sweet as soon as a tackle wasn’t called and, well, that was that.

Again.

Elsa joined the fray second semester, a slightly frantic request from the student newspaper to interview Emma before the start of the season and she started by explaining that she knew nothing about lacrosse and Emma smiled and answered questions anyway and Ruby and Mary Margaret took her out for drinks when the story ran.

The four of them were some kind of collective unit from there on out – anyone needing to get in touch with all of them only having to text one of them and the message would, eventually, get passed along and they were all in the stands when Emma scored twice in the A-10 championship their senior year.

Graham drove them to the regional finals on Long Island and they were some kind of weird, five-person pretzel of limbs and tears when the Minutemen lost.

And not much had changed since graduation – even if athletic careers were some kind of distant memory now. Until Emma’s very steady, very well-paying job all but disappeared in front of her and she thought, for a moment, of past glory and championship goals and, for the first time in a very long time, she wanted to check something.

She could absolutely work at this clinic. Even with different rules.

“It’s not really going to be fun,” Graham says and Emma dimly wonders if they’re all following a conversational schedule she wasn’t aware of, because she’s fairly positive they’ve done this already as well. “It’s going to be like school all over again and working those summer camps with screaming kids.” “Except these screaming kids have really rich parents,” Elsa adds. Graham glares at her. “I’m just saying. This is a little different than kids coming for a couple of hours a day in Amherst.”

“Exactly,” Emma shouts, like that’s just proved her point. “And I don’t even really care about the kids. It’s not...well that sounds shitty, but this is not about that.” Graham lifts his eyebrows. “What is it about then?” “Screwing over Neal Cassidy.” “Fucking finally,” Ruby mumbles, but Emma’s eyes don’t leave Graham’s and his lips twist in thought. Or like he’s trying to mind-meld with her and force her to give up on whatever path of revenge she’s already halfway down.

They stay that way for what feels like several eternities until Mary Margaret makes some kind of inhuman noise, leaping away from Emma like she’s just contracted a deadly plague. “Jeez, M’s,” Emma mumbles, taking a gulp of water before she remembers that it’s water and not tequila. “What’s your deal right now?” “I’ve just had an absolutely incredible idea,” Mary Margaret shouts and the whole room collectively winces at the volume of her voice. “Plus, if I’m there to do the training stuff, then...oh, shit this could work.” Emma nearly falls over, which is impressive since she’s sitting down, but she’s never heard Mary Margaret talk like that. It’s probably the tequila. “I mean it’s insane, but...this could work. I think. ”

“You think?”

Mary Margaret nods enthusiastically. “Ok, Humbert, what time do you have to be there next week…” It is absolutely the most insane idea in the history of ideas. It’s as if Galileo and Thomas Edison and, like, someone else who invented something all got together and, collectively, decided to try and come up with the most insane idea in the history of ideas just to spite all those people who didn’t believe in them before, but Mary Margaret keeps talking and Ruby keeps pouring drinks and by the end of the night it almost makes sense.

Which is how Emma finds herself on the campus of goddamn Towson University four days later with a bag in one hand and a stick in the other, trying to keep her breathing level when she tells a slightly overwhelmed looking woman at a fold-up desk “Hi, my name is Graham Humbert, I’m one of the coaches for the clinic.”

The woman behind the desk – there’s a name on a sticker that Emma can only half read, but might be Aurora – nods distractedly, flipping through a small stack of paperwork and handing Emma a folder with a string of instructions she’s only half listening to.

“You’re with Jones and Scarlet,” she says, like those words have actual meaning. “So, uh, there’s an elevator or stairs and it’s the sixth floor and room...whatever it says on your folder. There’s keys in there, but you’ll have to go get an actual ID if you want to ever eat while you’re here. Lunch starts serving in a couple of hours and then there’s meet and greets with all the kids later on tonight.” Aurora lifts her head when Emma doesn’t immediately respond and she feels her eyes go wide when the woman actually meets her gaze.

They cut her hair – or, rather, Mary Margaret cut her hair – and it was definitely a look, but both Ruby and Elsa promised it fell somewhere in the realm of hipster, but masculine when she actually put a wig on and left that morning and it was some kind of miracle Emma could even breathe because she’d wrapped her boobs up so tight she wasn’t entirely convinced her ribs weren’t going to sustain permanent damage.

She doesn’t really look...like a guy, but she doesn’t really look like her either and, as a very drunk Mary Margaret was quick to point out, no one at this clinic was going to know what Graham Humbert actually looked like.

Except Regina Mills. Who’d hired Graham. But he promised she had no plans of being there and as long as Neal didn’t recognize her then none of it mattered.

At least that’s what Emma kept telling herself while she spent nearly eight hours in her ancient VW bug that morning.

“We all good?” she asks, doing her best to sound like a guy. It doesn’t work. At all. Her voice just sounds scratchy and fake and Aurora tilts her head in confusion. “I, uh...just want to make sure my equipment’s all set before we do anything later tonight.” Aurora quirks an eyebrow. “There are just icebreakers tonight.”

“Right, right, right, I absolutely knew that. Because you just told me that. And I read the schedule already. Several times. When I got hired to be here.” Aurora nods again and Emma’s fairly certain her ribs have started to crack. “Alright, well, I’m going to….”

She doesn’t finish, just hitches her bag further up her shoulder and practically sprints up the first flight of stairs she can find, not willing to wait for an elevator. There’s a stitch in her side by the time she reaches the fourth landing and this was a mistake.

In some kind of grand, sweeping way.

“Holy shit,” Emma breathes and she’s not out of shape. She runs down criminals. She can do the same thing with a stick in her hand and a ball in her stick and she’s suddenly so full of determination and fury that she’s almost surprised she doesn’t just levitate to her room with Jones and Scarlet, whoever they are.

It'll be fine.

Except that one thing.

It’s the one part of the plan even Mary Margaret hadn’t quite figured out.

“What happens when you have to shower?” Graham asked, tugging on the bottom of Mary Margaret’s shirt until she collapsed into a heap on their living room floor. “These are guys, Em. You can’t just...take half an hour in the shower every morning.” “Ok, first of all, that’s rude and stereotyping,” Emma argued. “And I know how to take quick showers. I probably set records at Amherst with that. All that foster home experience, you get in and get out before someone flushes the toilet or the house runs out of hot water. This is fine.” “And what about the rest of it? You’re going to have to, you know, make it look like you’re a guy.” “I’m not expecting an audience while I shower.” “I’m just saying.” “Are you not in on this? You said you were in on this. This is all so I can show up Neal and then, you know, ruin his lacrosse life or something.” “You’re a picture of maturity,” Graham sighed, but there was a hint of a smile on his face and he couldn’t argue with the combined, very drunk force of four UMass grads with a plan. “And, yeah, I’m all in on this. Of course.”

It was going to be fine.

So she has roommates. Emma’s always had roommates. Granted, they’ve always been girls and she’s never actually had to tape her boobs down just to try and stay under some kind of metaphorical radar, but this isn’t about that.

This is about fucking over Neal and it is...easily the most insane idea she’s ever had.

She’s frozen in front room 619, resting most of her weight on her stick and trying to psych herself up again when the door swings open and oh, well, fuck. God fucking fuck.

She’s going to kill Humbert. He should have told her.

He should have warned her...or something. Anything. He should have cut whatever wires in her bug made her bug capable of driving her from Boston to Baltimore because then Emma wouldn’t be standing stock still in the middle of a hallway at goddamn Towson University, breathing through her mouth while trying to will her heart rate to slow down.

The guy widens his eyes – all blue and vaguely amused and he’s got a Maryland t-shirt on. His hair’s nearly as long as Emma’s is, even after it’s been cut, and there’s a piece falling across his forehead that is just absolutely stupid because it’s obvious he’s not trying at all, just casual confidence and certainty and his ribs probably aren’t cracking.

Because he’s a guy.

He is a guy.

“Can I help you?” he asks, resting against the side of the open door frame with his arms crossed over his chest and that only serves to scrunch up the Maryland state logo emblazoned on his shirt.

Emma nods slowly, trying to force her brain to catch up to the moment at hand and the guy’s eyes flit towards the stick in her hand. “Are you the third, then?” he continues and Emma’s fairly convinced he’s just started speaking in tongues.

“I have no idea what that means,” she says and the guy just smiles even wider. His eyebrows are stupid. Emma takes a deep breath, hitting herself in the hip with her own bag when she pushes her right hand in front of her. “Humbert,” she says and it almost sounds like the truth. “Graham Humbert. UMass ‘10.” The guy doesn't blink, just keeps staring at her outstretched hand and maybe she shouldn’t have done that because she definitely doesn’t look like she’s got guy’s hands. It takes, exactly, two seconds to realize that is not the issue.

He rocks back on his heels, twisting his lower lip between his teeth – which is decidedly distracting for absolutely all the wrong reasons – and tilts his head when he holds his left arm out towards her.

Oh.

Oh.

And it all clicks very suddenly.

Emma is absolutely going to kill Graham.

She can’t quite believe she didn’t recognize him – but it’s been years since that national championship run and, really, the Maryland t-shirt threw her off. “You didn’t go to Maryland,” Emma accuses and Killian Jones’ eyebrows fly up his forehead. She thinks he maybe, almost, smiles at her too, but his left arm is still hanging in the space between them and, well, there isn’t a hand to shake there.

It wasn’t national news – no one cares about lacrosse that much – but she’d heard the story and Graham thought it was tragic and Emma thought it was absolutely fucking unfair because Killian Jones had been good, great, fantastic, some kind of faceoff specialist that they’d probably put in a hall of fame if lacrosse was a sport people actually cared about.

He won something like ninety percent at the ‘x’ when he was a senior and no one had really even heard of Monmouth before, but suddenly they were getting votes in national polls and winning games and Killian Jones kept getting the ball to his attackers and they kept scoring goals and, suddenly, they were beating Hopkins in the national championship game.

He won nearly every postseason award possible and he couldn’t actually go to the Tewaaraton ceremony because he’d been too busy playing in a national final and it was some kind of impossible run that even Sports Illustrated acknowledged once. And then it was tragic and fucking unfair and it wasn’t like he could do much more than coach after he graduated, but he was going to, or so the rumors suggested, until there’d been an accident and it was impossible to win a faceoff with one hand.

“That’s true,” Killian says, eyeing her cautiously and they were both still frozen in the doorway. “But I’ve been doing ops at Maryland for a season and a half now, so, you know, they give you free stuff.” “Is that not an NCAA violation?” “I’m not an actual student-athlete anymore.” Emma hums – a mistake because she sounds so much like her, she’s positive Killian can see through her clothes or something. Thinking that is also a mistake. There’s more talking from inside the room and another set of footsteps and Emma’s eyes dart for an escape route. There isn’t one.

“Is this the third, then?” another guy asks, pushing Killian out of the way and leaning towards Emma with an expectant look on his face.

Killian nods, eyes still tracing over Emma and she tries to stand up taller. She hits herself with her bag again. “Yeah,” Killian answers. “Humbert comma Graham. UMass class of 2010, apparently.” “UMass has lacrosse?”

“We’ve had lacrosse for nearly a decade,” Emma snaps. Killian grins. “It was just...shitty when they...I mean, I...when I started playing. But the women’s side won the A-10 just a couple seasons after we moved up.” “Impressive,” other guy mumbles in a way that makes it sound the exact opposite. Emma glares at him and she can’t start beating up her roommates before they even get to icebreakers.

Killian smiles wider. “Alright, alright,” he says, licking his lips and elbowing other guy in the ribs. That almost puts them all on even footing. “Humbert, class of 2010, this is Scarlet, comma Will, class of absolute asshole and a former goalie at Monmouth.” “And you were making fun of my program,” Emma seethes, well aware that she doesn’t have a leg or a stick to stand on. They won a national championship. “What kind of competition you dealing with in the MAAC?” Scarlet almost looks impressed. “Probably not quite as good as whatever Division II you started out as.” “God,” Killian sighs, rolling his eyes towards the ceiling and pushing Will back into the room. “Shut up, Scarlet. Although I really don’t think you can start trash talking this early, Humbert,” he adds. “There’s rules about trashing-talking form.” “Are there?” Emma asks and Killian grins, lower lip stuck out slightly when he nods. “Absolutely. Although I’m not entirely sure what form goes along with further introductions  since you seem to know where I went to school already and, based on your staring issue, I’d say the rest of my very public history, so, uh...if you’re good, then we’re going to get some food.” He doesn’t wait for her to answer, just nods toward Scarlet who makes sure to glare at Emma when he walks by, leading with his shoulder and fucking hell this is a disaster. “See you on the field later, Humbert,” Killian calls over his shoulder when there a few feet away and Emma throws her bag into the room as soon as she hears his footsteps retreat.

She doesn’t leave the room until her stomach actually starts making noises that don’t quite sound human anymore, but downing dining hall food like she’s being timed doesn’t do much to help the state of her ribs and by the time she gets to icebreakers, she’s treading some very thin metaphorical ice.

“This is a goddamn disaster,” Emma hisses, leaning against the railing behind the end zone of the football stadium they were staging some sort of get to know you event on. Mary Margaret shoots her a look, one she should probably have patented by now and Emma tries not to sigh too loudly. “It is,” she continues. “I should just...I don’t know, just go or something before this dissolves into a criminal offense.” “You can’t get charged with anything when you have Graham’s permission,” Mary Margaret argues. “At least, I don’t think so. And, you know, you guys are splitting all these work checks, so it’s totally legit. Absolutely. For sure.” “You really shouldn’t have kept talking M’s.” Mary Margaret just levels her with that look again and Emma’s not really paying attention to any of the kids or the clinic or whatever it is Neal is doing with a group of guys who he seems to already be well acquainted with. “And,” Mary Margaret continues. “There is a plan. It’s a good plan. It’s not like Neal ever met Graham. He has no idea who you are. You really don’t even look like you right now.” “You’re only saying that because you're the one who cut my hair,” Emma reasons, but Mary Margaret just waves a dismissive hand in her face.

“I’m not. I’m saying that because you can do this and because…”

She trails off, eyes darting up when someone walks towards them and Emma tries not to shake her. Instead, she follows Mary Margaret’s gaze and barely has a moment to turn her groan into any other noise before she’s standing face to face with another guy and another outstretched hand.

“Hey,” he says brightly, an easy smile on his face and a t-shirt with a comically large orange on the front. He doesn’t seem to even notice Emma. “You uh….they’re starting some game about first names and I figured, well, since you’ve got two, you might get bonus points or something…”

Emma snorts, biting back hysterics and Mary Margaret stares imploringly at her. An absolute disaster. “Hi,” Emma says, taking the outstretched hand and she’s given up on trying to do any voice that isn’t hers. “I’m Graham Humbert. UMass. M’s and I went to school together.” “David,” he answers. “Nolan. ‘Cuse longstick.” “Yeah, I wouldn’t have been able to guess that at all.” “Em…” Mary Margaret shouts, eyes going wide when she realizes what she’d almost done. David looks momentarily confused, but then his gaze flits back to Mary Margaret and it’s like he’s rediscovered his center of gravity and Emma wonders what kind of science she’d need to just melt into a puddle on the Towson football field.

“Ah, well,” David says, stuffing his hands back in his pockets when he pulls away from Emma. “They told us to support our teams when we got here, which doesn’t really go along with the community feeling they’re telling us we’re building tonight, but whatever. Pays good, right?” Emma hums noncommittally in the back of her throat, rolling her shoulders in her UMass gear. “Longstick, huh? Middie or defenseman?” “Defensive middie.” “Best of both worlds.” “Something like that.”

Mary Margaret looks torn between several different emotions, but Emma finds herself almost liking David Nolan, defensive middie, and she’s got half an idea of what’s going on here. The other half of her mind, however, seems preoccupied with the voices calling from midfield and cheers from the crowd of kids with rich parents who can afford to spend their whole summer at a lacrosse clinic.

And it’s like the world slows down for a moment because Emma knows who’s running towards her before he even skids to a stop in front of them and she can just barely make out David’s mumbled is everything ok when Neal lands in front of her and Mary Margaret.

He blinks once and Emma can’t breathe – her lungs are on fire and her ribs are just disintegrating, she’s positive. “Oh,” Neal says, perking up when he notices Mary Margaret. “Hey Blanchard. Long time no see.” Mary Margaret visibly bristles, narrowing her eyes and Neal is just as ignorant as always and Emma is glad Ruby isn’t there because she absolutely could not deal with another told you so moment. “Neal,” Mary Margaret says softly. “It, uh….well, you’re here, aren’t you? Have you met David Nolan? ‘Cuse. And, uh…” She glances towards Emma, a million questions on her face and Emma shrugs in response. “This is, uh...Graham Humbert. Played at UMass when we were there.”

Neal’s eyebrows shift, but he doesn’t seem to realize anything and Emma wonders how long she can go without oxygen finding its way to her brain. Probably not much longer. She takes a deep breath, shoulders heaving and poor David Nolan looks decidedly out of place. “Nice to finally meet you,” she says, thrusting her hand out into the open space in front of her. “I’ve heard some stuff.” “Good stuff I hope,” Neal grins and Emma makes a contradictory noise in the back of her throat. Mary Margaret tries not to laugh.

“Stuff,” Emma repeats.

Neal’s lips quirk down and Emma tugs her hand back to her side, glancing up when she can hear Killian Jones yelling about teams and rules and playing to ten, but win by two and oh fuck. They’re going to play.

Game on or whatever.

“Right, right,” Neal mumbles. “Well, uh, some of the kids are going to play a little bit and I think that Jones guy is going to make sure we don’t all kill each other, so, uh...I was just coming to see if you guys wanted to suit up.” David wavers for half a moment, glancing at Mary Margaret like he was hoping for a few moments – or possibly an entire lifetime – alone, but Emma’s already nodding. “Yeah,” she says, staring at Neal. “You going to play?”

“That’s why I came over here.” “Good.” Neal looks at her for half a beat and that one corner of Emma’s mind that is still certain this is a goddamn disaster is positive he knows , but then he blinks and the look is gone and she’s far too competitive to care one way or another.

They’re already handing out sticks by the time Emma, David and Neal rejoin the crowd and Killian looks momentarily amused when his eyes land on her. “Ah, Humbert comma Graham,” he says. “I thought you’d disappeared.” Emma’s going to check him. In the head. “I’ve been around,” she answers evasively and the smile on Killian’s face evolves into a smirk that is both the single most obnoxious and attractive thing she’s ever seen. “You going to give me a stick or you just going to stare all night?”

It’s petty and a little immature, but it gets the smirk off his face and Killian nods before pushing a worse-for-wear stick against Emma’s chest. “Try not stun anyone with your Division I talent, Humbert,” he growls and Emma grimaces in response.

“Watch me,” she mutters.

Someone gives Killian a whistle and there are more rules Emma absolutely doesn’t listen to because she’s got a stick in her hand and a ball in her stick and she’s not sure if she’s trying to show off for everyone else or a bit for herself, but she spins away from a defender and lets out some kind of whoop when the ball lands in the back corner of the net.

It took thirty-seven and a half seconds.

“Holy shit,” Will grumbles, leaning behind him to fish the ball out of the net. “That was a rocket, Humbert.” Emma shrugs and Neal is standing slackjawed a few feet out of the crease. “You said you went to UMass,” he says and it sounds like the accusation it absolutely is. Emma nods. “Did you...you know my girlfriend then?”

She can hear herself breathing, which is the only proof that she still is, but it’s loud and just a bit haggard and Emma’s whole body stiffens at the present tense of that particular question. Neal waits for an answer and Will coughs awkwardly there isn’t one.

Emma’s dimly aware of David a few feet away from here and Killian blows that stupid whistle again, shouting about faceoffs and staying on track and Emma licks her lips before lining up again, a ringing in her ears she’s not sure will ever disappear.

It doesn’t. And the game sort of...falls apart after that.

She doesn’t score again, probably accounts for what feels like four-hundred turnovers and picking up a groundball is, suddenly, the most difficult thing in the world. She gets whistled for a slash, whipping her stick across the back of Neal’s calves and it’s the product of frustration and disappointment and athletic-based anger. It leaves Neal yelling about fucking intent to harm and Mary Margaret actually gasps when she sees the bruise already forming and Killian drags Emma off the field, fingers wrapped around her wrist and words mumbled under his breath.

“Alright, alright, alright,” Emma yells, yanking her arm back to her side when they’re on the sidewalk outside the stadium. She elbows herself in the process.

He doesn’t stop moving, pacing a small semi circle until he’s turned back towards her and Emma can practically feel the heat radiating off him. She’s an absolutely disgusting mess – sweat pooling at the base of her spine and dripping down her temple and underneath whatever contraption is still crushing her ribs and maybe she can just stay in Mary Margaret’s room for the night.

That won’t help anything.

“Are you insane?” Killian barks, glowering at her as if she’s just drawn an unreleasable with two minutes left in the national championship game.

Emma meets his expression with one of her own, landing back in the realm of pissed the fuck off rather quickly. She’s never quite done well with authority – or assholes telling her what she can and can’t do on the field. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she mutters and maybe she should just stay angry all time because her voice doesn’t really sound like hers anymore.

Killian takes a deep breath, tugging the oxygen in through his nose and his shoulders move with the force of it. He twists his lip in between his teeth again, running a frustrated hand through his hair, unable, it seems, to stop moving or staring at Emma like she’s arrived solely to ruin the integrity of lacrosse.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” he says after what feels like several lifetimes, but his voice has lost that threatening edge it had a few moments before. “That’s…do you know Cassidy?”

That’s not the question she expects.

She’s not sure what she expects, but a week ago she would have been positive that breaking into a lacrosse clinic pretending to be one of her best friends was the absolute last thing she ever expected, so, all things considered…

Killian just waits for a response, breathing evening out and someone else is blowing a whistle inside the football stadium. “Yeah,” Emma mumbles. “I, uh, do or did…” She shakes her head, trying to will away any sort of misplaced emotion, determined to linger in angry as long as possible. “He...dated one of my friends?” “Was that a question?” “No, no, I mean he did, but he’s a colossal dick so…” “So you were what, exactly?” Killian asks. “Defending your friend’s honor by being a complete fucking idiot on the field?” Emma rolls her eyes, frustration shooting through all of her limbs and lingering at the base of her spine with the sweat. It’s a disgusting thought. “No,” she snaps. “Well, I don’t know...why do you care? It’s not like you’re some pillar of lacrosse purity here.” She has no idea what makes her say it – probably something about that anger and stubbornness to prove herself born out of a lifetime’s worth of not being enough and Killian takes a step away from her as soon as the words land between them. “True,” he says slowly, fingers tapping lightly on the brace at the end of his left arm. “But...well Cassidy might not be the best guy to try and go up against here.” “What?” “How much did your friend tell you about Neal Cassidy, former starter at UNC?”

“Plenty.” “Yeah?” Emma nods, but she can feel her certainty slipping through her grasp and she’s not sure she can find the right word to describe the look on Killian’s face. He takes another step towards her. “Cassidy is here because of his name and his father’s ability to make things very difficult for Regina and her company if he didn’t have a paying gig all summer. You think she wanted him here? She knows his family, apparently knows his dad and, boom, just like that lil’ Cassidy isn’t working for the family business anymore, he’s got a job all lined up teaching kids how to destroy kneecaps with a one-handed shot outside the crease.”

Emma never really knows how she managed to stay standing, but her own kneecaps seem to take Killian’s words as some kind of challenge and she doesn’t move when he grins at her. “I don’t...Gold knows Regina?” Killian hums, but there’s a flash of confusion in his eyes. He didn’t expect her to know names. “I didn’t….I didn’t know that.” “Why would you?” She shakes her head, dragging in a ragged breath and silently promises herself never to make another decision fueled on tequila and Mary Margaret’s optimism ever again. “No reason,” she mumbles. “And did you say something about kneecaps?”

“I did.” “And?” “And what? I thought you knew all about me.” Emma groans, rolling her head back and that’s a mistake because her fucking hair nearly falls off. “I know generic facts that the entire lacrosse world knows,” she argues. “It’s not as if I’m secretly stalking your life.” He does something stupid with his eyebrows, sinking onto the edge of a flower arrangement outside the stadium. Emma doesn’t move. “I grew up with Cassidy,” Killian mutters and Emma’s not sure how much more surprise her body can withstand. “At least kind of. He lived down the block from my mom’s house in a much larger house and played travel ball and club ball and sneered at the idea of high school teams and he went to UNC and I went to a school in fucking New Jersey and when we played against each other in that regional final, he played like he was possessed. Started slashing everything he could.

I think he set some kind of record, but it didn’t work and he kept ending up in the box and we were winning. Until he checked me, straight across the back, no whistle and I lost the ball. He scooped, stayed onsides and didn’t even try to score. He shot at Scarlet’s kneecaps, took him out of the game. Nearly fucked up the whole thing and I don’t think that backup goalie ever really recovered. He’s an ass. Cassidy. Not the backup goalie. He’s got three kids and lives in Tacoma with his very nice wife who bakes things.” “She bakes things?” Emma echoes and Killian’s eyes shoot up towards her, disbelief etched into every single inch of his face.

“Yeah. Cookies. Cupcakes. Apparently an absolutely delicious carrot cake that she brags about in all of her Christmas newsletters.” Emma barks out a laugh and for half a second she forgets everything else except the slightly cautious smile on Killian’s face and her mind roams to completely impossible ideas and it’s as if the entire world flips upside down.

She can’t believe she didn’t realize. Well, no, she can, but she’s kind of mad at herself that she clearly isn’t capable of doing basic math, but she’s always heard that regional final loss differently and she never paid much attention to Neal when he started talking lacrosse.

He always seemed to want to talk about his stat line.

That probably should have been a sign.

God, Ruby’s never going to let her live any of this down.

“Christmas newsletters sounds very adult,” Emma mumbles, rocking awkwardly on her heels when she realizes she’s still standing up. Killian nods towards the seat next to him and she tries to keep, at least, six inches of space between them.

“It does, doesn’t it?” “Carrot cake sounds fucking awful though.” It’s his turn to laugh at that and Emma’s mind has some kind of mind of its own, picturing things and this is now an even worse idea than the worst idea in the history of the world. “It’s not bad with the icing,” Killian muses. “How...how long did you friend date Cassidy?” “Nearly a year. Her friends, well….they...we hated him. Knew he was kind of a dick and self-important and I mean, you know, he played at UNC. What even is a Tar Heel?” “I have no idea.” “Exactly. And then he was always kind of Glory Days’ing things and harping on how great UNC was and just the entire ACC which is, you know, whatever….lacrosse is a countrywide sport now.”

Killian laughs. “I went to Monmouth, you don’t need to tell me about the growing popularity of lacrosse. Although that Denver national championship helped things. UAlbany too. Give a couple of kids a stick and tell them they can hit each other and they’ll come flying in.” “Is that part of your recruit pitch at Maryland?” “Almost verbatim,” he grins. “Although we barely made it out of the Big 10 this year, so I’m not sure I’m doing much in the way of actually accomplishing anything. Need a faceoff kid.” Emma tenses slightly, licking her lips and she’s not sure what to say next. “That’s not easy though,” she mutters. Nailed it, Swan. Absolutely dominated. “And I’d imagine your requirements are fairly high.” “At this point my requirements are trying to find a kid who can win it clean without getting a violation and we have to play man down.” “Ah, well, maybe you can find someone here. Change someone’s life or something.”

“Why do you think I’m here?” he asks, glancing at her over his shoulder and Emma pushes her palms flat against the stone she’s sitting on until she’s almost positive she’s cut up her hand. “Plus the money. And to get Scarlet to shut up.” “Does he need to be shut up?” Killian doesn’t answer at first and Emma wonders if she’s overstepped some imaginary boundary, but she sees his shoulders move when he takes another deep breath and he doesn’t blink when he looks at her. “He got the invite since, technically, he can still play, your goal notwithstanding. And he got me in because he knew I’d have some time during the summer before workouts start and he figured it’d be good for me. Bring me back to my humble beginnings or something after the shit season we had.” “Humble?” Emma asks. “How so?” “I never would have been able to afford any of these things when I was a kid,” Killian says, rushing over the words. He’s still looking at her. “I, uh….my brother did his best to help, but he was older and there were only so many ways to play lacrosse by yourself. So I kept working and shooting against the side of the house until I’d broken just about every window and there was a scholarship to one of these prestigious clinics the summer before my senior year. I went and played and that’s where I got offered. It was the only team that even looked my direction.”

“Yeah, me too,” Emma mutters before she realizes what she’s said. Killian looks as if he’s going to fall on the sidewalk. “Uh, I mean...well I kind of bounced around when I was a kid and I played because I could and it was an outlet in a very stereotypical way, but I didn’t think I could do anything with it until UMass showed up. Winning the A-10 was some kind of dream.” She smiles and forgets, for a moment, that she’s not Emma Swan, All-American and that’s her first mistake. Killian narrows his eyes and Emma’s breath hitches, ribs aching and lungs shrinking, or something absolutely impossible, and he twists his lips when he stares at her.

“Right,” he says slowly, standing up and nodding towards the discarded sticks behind them. “You should bring those back to equipment. Don’t go after Cassidy again. He’ll destroy you where you stand.” Emma doesn’t say anything, barely even has a chance to register the words before Killian’s turning away, fingers wrapped around his left forearm and this is the worst thing she’s ever done.

You can read Part Two (the one with the kissing!) here. 

#cs ff #captain swan #cs #captain swan ff #cs fic #ouat fandom crescendo #i've covered a lot of lacrosse in my life #and there is a video out there on the internet of me learning how to shoot #from a kid who is literally one of the top goal scorers in ncaa history #and it's straight up just him shooting and me screaming and running away from the goal #so i'm a real professional #some other guys on that team taught me how to check one time too #that was a fun team

[ghostmartyr]

Fic: A Terrible Idea [7/?]

Fandom: Attack on Titan Title: A Terrible Idea Author: Immi Rating: PG-13 Summary: Ymir’s pursuit of the hot cheerleader was meant to stay strictly lustful. But it’s a high school AU with a ship tag, so you know, fuck that. Notes: Hey, so if you’re just seeing evidence of this fic now thanks to the Galliard ship tags, this is a yumikuri fic, but this chapter is in Galliard’s pov, and so his romantic woes are unavoidable and awkward. And hopefully entertaining. Obviously it’s not meant as a standalone, but it probably can be read as one for the sake of ship feels.

Segment summary: Porco is a bi disaster.

I II III IV V  VI

This wasn’t happening.

Mr. Smith had a standing policy. Help out cleaning his classroom at the end of the week, get extra credit as judged by the custodian. Porco did not need the extra credit, Ymir could fuck right off with that, but he wasn’t going to turn it down. Kenny’d had them fighting for Levi’s approval through chores since second grade. He knew how to clean a room.

For anyone who cared to know, that meant he was easy to find on Friday afternoons, scraping gum off desks with Connie and Sasha (who did need the extra credit).

Reiner Braun was not supposed to care.

He wasn’t supposed to be sitting on a desk Porco had just cleaned, pretending to be cool, while people who did care were prepping for practice like the coaching staff told them to. Good to know this was the work ethic that kept him off the team.

“Hi,” he’d said, smiling that toothpaste commercial grin Porco’s way, stepping into the history room like he belonged there.

He didn’t. He had history with Mr. Dok. Reiner had no reason at all to be sitting on a desk in Mr. Smith’s classroom, shooting finger guns at Connie and breathing so deeply that the buttons on his polo shirt were straining to keep his oversized muscles from bursting free.

That wasn’t some kind of accident.

Marcel joked that Reiner was too swol for things like clothes. Marcel, being a normal person, didn’t get it. Porco had survived a year of PE with Reiner before. Mr. Quarterback Superstar had a thing for flexing in front of mirrors. He would come to school shirtless every day if he could. Wearing clothes that barely fit, showing off the body that everyone fell over themselves to praise every time his team scored him a touchdown, was as close as he could get.

Ymir said he was too much of a square to use steroids. He was, but there was no natural reason for someone’s arms to be that big. Marcel was ten times the athlete Reiner was, and he still looked like a person, not a teenage bodybuilder.

“I was looking to hit you up, and Marcel said you’d be here,” Reiner had said, propping his sculpted ass on top of Porco’s hard work. Yeah sure, Levi wouldn’t notice that at all.

Now Reiner was looking at him like Porco had anything to do with this conversation. It wasn’t even a conversation. Reiner just decided to walk in and ruin his day, and since that couldn’t be enough, he was trying to turn it into a group project.

Did he somehow not remember what those went like? Those five weeks of third grade where they were paired in art were the longest of their short lives, Kenny getting called in three separate times—culminating in him being permanently barred from PTA thanks to Reiner’s mother (what was her problem)—and last Porco had stepped in that room, the air conditioning vent was still clogged with papier-mâché.

Not to mention last year’s English mess. It was like he lived to tear down Porco’s grade point average.

Cluing in a little in the stony silence, Reiner got to the point.

“Your sister’s friends with Historia Reiss, right?”

The point was that this was actually fucking happening.

“She is not my sister,” Porco said, sourly.

Reiner barely had eyebrows, but what was there knit together. “Ymir?” he said, like Porco couldn’t figure out who they were talking about on his own. “Marcel said you guys were family.”

There was something sick about Reiner using Marcel’s good nature as a weapon. Porco glowered at the concerned pouting thing his lips were doing. He hoped Reiner knew it made him look stupid.

Porco cleared his throat. The words weren’t showing up the first try. “She’s Ymir. What do you care?”

Reiner perked up. Like, his whole body bounced like a spring. “You know how homecoming’s next week?”

No, really? That thing the student council had thrown away their budget for to get banners covering every other hallway? That was happening? Who could have guessed.

Porco nodded obediently, jaw clenched. Ymir had dragged him into enough school plays for him to know when he was supposed to be following a script. Not that Reiner would care. He had his pep talk face on. Sunshine confidence was leaking out of his pores. He was impossible to talk to when he got like this. He was impossible most of the time anyway, but it was somehow worse when he had that sparkle in his eyes to go with his teeth.

“I,” Reiner announced, “want to ask Historia to the dance.”

Porco’s concept of a just and fair world crumbled.

“What.”

“Yeah,” Reiner said, somehow not hearing the blood-curdling scream resounding in Porco’s chest. “It seems like the thing to do, you know? Every school has a power couple. Doesn’t hurt that she’s some kind of saint. She raised more money for the cheerleaders’ fundraiser than they’ve had in years, and—”

And what, he didn’t get enough pretty blond when he looked in the mirror? Blood pumped loudly in Porco’s ears. Reiner’s visage blurred.

Perfect logic. No, let’s not date someone we know, and maybe like for reasons that aren’t total crap, let’s go with the person who matches some absurd popularity scale that neither one of us really deserves. Such sense. Much thought. Wow.

Where did he get off, anyway, thinking about asking someone out on such short notice? Asking someone out he clearly didn’t know anything about, and dragging Porco into it because he wouldn’t know tact if it bit him on his perfect ass, and holy fuck, Historia Reiss?

Really?

Connie and Sasha were scrubbing windows. The squeaking matched his grinding teeth.

Was taste just not a thing? Did he miss something? Was walking around like an alien abductee in now?

Reiner had never even talked to her, if he had he wouldn’t need a damn proxy to hold his behemoth hand.

He was talking to Porco just fine—he was still fucking talking, so clearly conversational skills gave him some kind of buzz—but sure, no, go for the opposite of that. Treating each other like equal human beings who didn’t need stilts to be at eye level was way too conventional and un-creepy for the undisputed lord of the school.

“—pretty, too—”

Porco saw red.

“Fuck off, she’s already dating my sister!”

…

…

The windows stopped squeaking.

Reiner’s mouth stayed open, without sound, and that was so damn preferable Porco was going to kill something, hopefully him. The pressure in his head let off, and a crisp twinge of satisfaction took its place.

For the five seconds of peace he had before his brain caught up.

“Oh,” Reiner said.

Connie and Sasha were both staring, looking like summer break had come back early.

Oh, Porco thought.

Oh no.

“I guess that doesn’t work, then.”

Reiner lifted himself off the desk, arms flexing for pure show. The creases in his ill-fitting shirt said his abs were doing all the work, and Porco didn’t know why that mattered, but he was in hell now, and some of that meant watching Reiner-the-human-specimen getting to his feet in slow motion while flames crept up Porco’s face.

This was not happening.

“They aren’t public about it,” Porco blurted. Dawning horror made his voice come out echoey. He made as much eye contact with Reiner as he could stand. “Don’t go—they aren’t… Don’t spread it around.”

Reiner’s face melted into compassionate understanding. Awful look for him. “No problem. I wouldn’t—hey,” his hand was on Porco’s shoulder and he wanted to bite it off, “I know how it can be.” What did that mean. “Don’t worry about a thing, man. I’ve got your back. And theirs.”

He was smiling. Why was he smiling. Porco needed him to stop.

“You should let Ymir know they’re a really cute couple.”

They weren’t, and there was no way Reiner had ever had that thought until five seconds ago.

He gave Porco’s shoulder an extra pat. “I’ll catch you at practice.”

The silence left in Reiner’s wake when he exited the classroom was how most horror movies started.

Porco looked at Connie.

Connie looked at Sasha.

Sasha looked delighted.

“Ymir finally has a girlfriend?”

Hell.

----

Staying in Mr. Smith’s room until every other human being in the school was gone was not going to work out. Ymir would find him and laugh at him. Then maybe never speak to him again. Marcel would find him and want to know what was wrong. Levi would find him, ignore him, and tell Kenny something was wrong.

Pieck would find him, and be so wonderful he’d want to tell her what was wrong.

Pieck did find him.

She stood in the doorway, leaning too heavily against it. Her arms hated going a full week with crutches. Ymir usually made good on playing pack mule for her backpack, but there was a limit to how much they could help. It sucked.

Pieck smiled through the shadows under her eyes. “It’s not like you to take so long with the cleaning, Pock.”

There were days when that smile was all Porco needed to love life. Today was one of them before Reiner showed up and got him to ruin everything. Porco stopped viciously scrubbing his desk with a paper towel. “Pieck,” he said, “have you ever done something really stupid.”

“No, never,” was the real answer to that. Pieck was the only person he had ever met who was immune to bad decisions. He’d known her since they were five. She was just gifted like that. Even Marcel had his screw-ups. Like being friends with quarterbacks.

Pieck rested her chin on top of her crutch. “Oh dear, what have you done?”

He frowned at his abused paper towel. Cleanser and force had torn a hole in it.

“Reiner wanted to ask Historia out to the homecoming dance.” And that was still the most fucking irritating thing to think, forget saying it out loud. If these people wanted a blonde, short, emotionless girl to rip their hearts out of their chests, they should hit up Annie. All the same stupid kinks, none of the delusion that there was something real there.

He’d told Ymir that and she told him to shut his whore mouth.

Pieck cocked her head. “He hasn’t heard? She’s not going.”

…

Well fuck that, too. Historia Reiss was some kind of cursed object designed to fuck with his life. Days after talking to Reiner weren’t supposed to get worse. Before Ymir and her stupid crush that he wasn’t allowed to call a crush without her whining, him alone in a room with Reiner was peak misery.

He sucked the injustice up and glowered at his desk. His stomach wouldn’t stop squirming. “I told Reiner Ymir’s dating Historia,” he said.

He could hear Pieck’s brain humming in the empty space of a thousand missing comments about how tactless and idiotic that combination of words was. And he’d said it in front of Connie. Sasha could remember when not to gossip. Her best friend knowing the gossip and giggling with her in study hall helped with that. Connie could not keep his mouth shut. That was how he kept losing the stashes of weed he tried to hide around school. He told people about them. Regularly.

Porco’s fingers flexed.

Ymir was never going to forgive him.

It was over her sex life—which she didn’t even have, it didn’t matter how many times she called it that—so what’d he care, but.

“Less accurate things have been said,” Pieck said. Her crutches thumped across Mr. Smith’s floor.

Porco moodily ripped his paper towel into smaller pieces. “Yeah, dating isn’t really what she’s after.”

“Isn’t it?”

Porco gave Pieck a look. It melted in the face of her smile. It was a lot closer than the doorway now, and proximity upped its powers to reincarnation levels of healing. He probably didn’t deserve that right now. Fucking Reiner. He murdered the butterflies and focused on the much easier target of Ymir being a horrible person. “You’ve had to listen to her just as much as I have. I don’t think she knows what romance is.”

And if she did, she definitely didn’t care about it. He knew enough about Historia now to feel like a pervert by association.

Pieck sat down on the desk next to his. She twirled one of her crutches. “And we all know that people never evade their feelings by telling themselves it’s something else.”

Porco snorted. “Are you kidding me? No one really does that.”

Especially not Ymir. He could almost say he liked that about her, when she wasn’t making her main mission in life having sex with a girl she barely knew. If Historia turned out to be a serial killer, she had the money and family lawyers to get away with it. They’d already sprung one family member out of jail. It wasn’t like he and Marcel and Kenny could back up the legal fees to bring someone like that to justice. He wouldn’t even get a chance to say I told you so.

“Well,” Pieck said, after a delayed pause, “you would know your sister best.”

“Not my sister.” His mouth got tired of saying that over and over again, and it was doubly annoying with people who knew what was up, but Pieck just smiled at him, sending rainbow cotton candy fluff to fuzz up his brain.

“She won’t hate you, Pock.”

Porco rolled his eyes. Mr. Smith needed to do something about his air conditioning. He was overheating.

“She won’t,” Pieck repeated. Her calloused hand stroked the back of his before cupping it warmly. “She knows how important Reiner is to you—”

“Pieck.”

She squeezed his hand. “And even if she didn’t,” Pieck continued, like she wasn’t leaving him scarred for life by making his heart swoop through the air and crash into a brick wall at the same time, “she will be delighted to have something to hold over your head. You are now the horrible person who started the rumor that she’s interested in feelings. You’re going to be doing her chores for weeks.”

Hurrah. He could hear all about how badly he was folding the sheets she planned to defile her not-girlfriend on. “Are you trying to make me feel worse?”

Pieck patted him compassionately on the head. “Never.”

Porco scoffed and looked out the window.

Stupid air conditioning.

Fucking Ymir.

Next

#gallirei #gallipieck #yumikuri #shingeki no fanfic #fic #mine

[allenmendezsr]

Crunchless Core

New Post has been published on https://autotraffixpro.app/allenmendezsr/crunchless-core/

Crunchless Core

 Buy Now

    By simply reading this all the way to the end you will discover:

A superior yet little-known method of decreasing the number of reps while DOUBLING your results in half the time

Exactly how you can work every muscle DEEP into your core for a perfectly balanced stomach using this one strange but effective technique

A powerful, proven technique that “RESETS” your core, dramatically reduces your chances of injury and brings unlimited power to your body

The one ‘tried and true’ technique that MOST people think is the best way to get rock solid abs…but you’ll discover why you must AVOID IT at all costs! (Note: this is a mistake even PROS make)

Why complicated and boring diets are NOT the best way to a flat, washboard stomach (and what you need to focus on instead to guarantee success)

I’ll reveal the truth about sit-ups and crunches from real experts so grab a pen and pad to take notes now.

The real problem when developing a six-pack is there’s so much misinformation out there.

A seemingly endless supply of options, methods, and ideas on how best to achieve perfectly chiseled abs.

Well, here’s the good news.

Today, all your confusion will vanish.

I’m about to reveal an approach that’s unique, surprisingly simple, and works for anyone at any age and any stage of their journey to rock-hard abs.

Keep in mind I would normally charge for this information, as it will help you achieve your goal of developing a six-pack faster and with greater ease.

Before we go any further, however, I feel it’s only fair to level with you:

There’s a rather embarrassing story I need to share before we dive into this new workout method for your abs today.

You’ll understand why this almost got edited from this letter in a few minutes, so brace yourself and keep reading.

You’ll see why my embarrassing little episode is so important to YOUR WORKOUT success in just a few minutes… deal?

Hi, I’m Brian Klepacki

Inside this eye-opening special report is the SECRET KEY to helping you get a flat, defined belly–and why complicated and boring diets are NOT the best way to a flat, washboard stomach (and what you need to focus on instead to guarantee success).

Today, I’m a Certified Strength Coach and owner of a Strength and Conditioning business in Florida.

I have a Masters in Exercise Science with a Concentration of Strength and Conditioning. Certified in Functional Movement and I’m a Certified Strength & Conditioning Specialist.

I know how important it is to sift through fact and fiction to uncover the truth about human performance.

You know, a lot of folks think my biggest breakthroughs come about because of the athletes I’ve trained.

They say, “sure, you can get great results when you’re training Olympic medalists, Pan Am games medalists, pro basketball players, baseball stars…

“… and stars of football, hockey, collegiate lacrosse, soccer and swimming” and so you’d expect these guys to get great results.

Yet the truth will surprise you!

My biggest success – the success I’m most proud of – was from a normal guy I coached, named Mac.

I remember when I first met Mac back in July 2012.

I recall it was a hot summer and it was all you could do to wear shorts and a T-shirt to keep cool. It was HOT!

I was just finishing up training one of my athlete clients in my studio gym and in walks this older guy in running shorts.

He was slim and he was clearly athletic… but right away I could tell he had a problem with his knee as he was nursing a limp.

It looked bad and alarm bells started ringing in my head about whether he was already past the point of no return.

Now Mac, it turns out, was a runner. He was 50 and held a desk job which had him sitting for most of his day.

But despite his activity every day he was in pain.

He was trying to live with chronic back and knee pain.

Now, the story you’re about to hear is pretty bad in places. But this was the experience that led Mac from being in pain all the time to a state of being pain free and stronger and fitter than ever.

And I think you want that, too.

You see when I sat Mac down to talk with him, he was almost in tears. Earlier that day, he’d see his physician who gave him a shocking diagnosis.

He had a herniated disc which was causing him pain.

He had tried to craft a six-pack and build much-needed core strength. Sensible, right?

But the more effort he put in, the more crunches he did… the worse the results were.

So he spent MORE time doing crunches and MORE reps. And still it didn’t show.

All the while, his back pain worsened. Then his knee started aching. And that ache turned into a chronic pain.

Until, finally, he couldn’t even work out anymore.

When he heard from his doctor his spine was damaged it was a wake-up call.

This is how the doctor explained it. Imagine your spinal discs – the discs which sit on top of each other to form your spine – were jelly doughnuts.

These discs are made up of two parts, the nucleus pulposus – or the jelly center – and the outer, protective layer, the annulus fibrosis. Both parts help the disc move.

Now, because Mac was doing so many crunches, it was putting direct pressure on the discs at the point of his back where the crunches flex the spine.

Through wear and tear, it had caused the outer layer of the doughnut to wear away and the jelly – or nucleus pulposa – was being pushed through. You could see the jelly trying to make an escape.

And that’s painful.

It took this shocking “wake-up call” to push Mac to seek help. Now – having heard of the success I had with the athletes I coach – he was at my door.

Just think about that for a moment.

His goal of trying to get rock solid abs to build a strong core left him unable to workout.

He told me it felt like the ground fell from under him.

It already ate away at him every time he looked in the mirror and saw how little his effort was paying off.

Then when the pain became too much… well, he felt he was being kicked when he was down.

“What more could I do?” he asked me, almost in tears.

It was at that instant when Mac came to see me and told me his story, that I drew a line in the sand. I decided to help Mac change his life.

Now, here’s the embarrassing part. Until then, I’d only helped pro athletes and coached elites. My approach to training wasn’t available to the normal folks who really needed my help.

Never again would I allow guys like Mac to suffer unnecessarily, through no fault of their own.

I promised myself I’d bring together all my expertise and experience over my years as a strength and conditioning coach to help ordinary girls and guys escape the tyranny of dangerous training advice.

On that day, I made a promise to create a program designed for people like Mac and yourself to help you build the strong, athletic body and the iron core you want without sacrificing your health and wellbeing.

And thanks to that turning point, I uncovered THE blueprint for perfect abs. And it’s one that works for just about anyone – Pro athlete or amateur

Today, I’m going to share it with you, and save you the endless hassle and years of effort it took me to hone this blueprint… so keep reading.

Keep in mind that, even though I’m a Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist working with pro-athletes from multiple disciplines, it’s my experience working with and helping folks like you get incredible results faster than you can imagine that really matters.

I just happened to figure out a really simple, step-by-step formula designed for the average person to see massive results when it comes to developing their abs in just 60 days.

This is a system that allows real people to:

Breathe better, stand taller and enjoy better health and more vitality, every waking hour.

Finally develop a stable, strong, armor-plated core to protect your posture and give you explosive power.

Finally, sculpt chiseled beach body abs built properly from inside out that turn heads wherever you go

This is the system I’ve used to give everyone from pro athletes to everyday athletes the strong core they deserve.

So know for a fact that, by using this formula, you’ll be receiving the exact same value as my top elite clients – who I charge $1,000 a day – at a fraction of the cost.

I’ll share all the specifics with you in just a moment, but first…

I feel compelled to be honest with you, and let you know about the real and serious problem you face right now.

This is the foe – “hidden in plain sight” – behind why you’re not getting the results you’ve always wanted.

And this is why a weak core, no definition and a serious threat of debilitating pain is not your fault. Although, after you read this, you know it now becomes your responsibility to take action.

The sad fact is that for years you’ve been misled by “experts” giving outdated advice on how to build your six-pack.

Many of their lies are THE REASON you’ve been let down in the past.

You may have heard, or perhaps even believed at one point, that doing crunches is the ONLY way to get the abs you want.

I can’t believe some coaches or online writers are STILL advocating crunches!

Please, if you have ever believed this, stop right now! I’ll explain why in just a moment…

Just know this: countless other smart guys and girls have fallen – and are still falling – victim to the HUGE “crunches” myth, yet you need to lay it aside right now.

If you don’t, you’ll cause serious – possibly irreversible – damage to your spine.

You’ll end up with chronic pain in your back, neck and knees.

And, you may even end up losing muscle, losing fitness and gaining weight as your body fights against poor posture and being out of alignment.

Listen: this isn’t what I want for you. And I know it’s not what you want for yourself.

The struggle you’ve been experiencing is directly due to this, which is why it’s not your fault.

However, it’s now your responsibility, wouldn’t you agree?

Please don’t blame yourself.

Blame the personal trainers and coaches still pushing outdated training techniques… DECADES after top strength coaches abandoned crunches.

The “crunch” has been an exercise staple since the 1940s. The exercise recommended by late night TV commercials, magazines and wannabe fitness gurus at the gym.

But REAL fitness experts threw crunches as a serious exercise into the trash can YEARS ago, knowing the dangers and how ineffective they are.

Not that it’s stopped all the misinformation spread by sports writers, churning out the same old advice from outdated sources.

And now anyone with a six-pack and Youtube account can claim to be an “expert” and hand out inaccurate, potentially damaging advice.

It’s enough to confuse the smartest person alive… and it confused ME for years. Until I learned the truth from trained professionals.

But place a lot of the blame with sleazy “quick fix” online programs who rely on making bold, baseless claims.

Let me reveal to you the truth about crunches from real experts.

Stuart McGill, professor of spine biomechanics at the University of Waterloo in Canada has conducted dozens of studies replicating the movement of the spine when doing crunches.

After replicating the flexing of the human spine, he examined the discs and found they had been squeezed to the point where they bulged.

This is the reason crunches press on back nerves causing back pain, and can even cause a herniated disc.

(Remember our jelly doughnut…)

The fact of the matter is you should NEVER do crunches or sit-ups. And here’s why:

1) Crunches causes lower back stress.

A 1995 study found sit-ups placed over 3,000N of force on the lower spine, which could cause herniated discs. Imagine willingly applying that force on any other part of your body through exercise? You wouldn’t.

If you fall for the crunch myth, you will end up in pain, either in your back, neck or elsewhere.

2) Your spine has a shelf life. Crunches age your spine.

You only have so many flexions in your spine before it starts to deteriorate. You can’t repair it. You can’t change it. That’s how it is. The more you flex your spine, the more you age your spine.

That’s fact. So why would you actively try to flex your spine at its most vulnerable point causing it to age faster and further?

3) Crunches don’t aid good posture; they reinforce bad posture.

Think about it: what is a crunch?

You’re just replicating the bent over movement you make when you’re sat at a desk or slumped in a seat.

4) Because you’re doing crunches, you’re not PROPERLY working your core.

You’re becoming weaker, less powerful, and more susceptible to problems.

You see, crunches aren’t functional. They don’t replicate ANY natural movement our bodies were designed for. Our bodies thrive on exercises in alignment with their function.

Crunching isn’t a natural movement. It actively opposes the purpose of the spine and works against it. We are meant to be upright and be able to bend, twist, reach and extend.

5) And here’s the worst part… crunches DON’T work.

Yes, you feel the burn. But it’s a fake burn – it feels good, but does it actually deliver results? No.

Crunches miss your core muscles. The narrow range of exercise does nothing to strengthen your deep abdominal muscles, your transversus abdominis, or your obliques. Crunches ONLY work your rectus abdominis close to your skin.

So the abs you DO end up with tell a lie. They don’t represent strength. They don’t represent inner power. Your core is no stronger for these “cosmetic” abs. In fact, they put your midsection out of balance and increase the risk of injury.

What if I told you that creating these “superficial” abs actually takes more, time more energy and wastes MUCH more effort? It’s many times EASIER to build chiseled abs the right way.

Now you’re aware of the myths and lies. You can see how they’ve crippled your ability to gain the six-pack you’ve wanted for years.

It’s time to dig in and rise above the lies using these three tips I have for you today.

Without these tips, your road to a perfect, powerful six-pack will be a rocky one. Yet using these simple strategies, you’ll reach your goal of chiseled abs in no time.

And by far the most IMPORTANT tip is showing you how to “reset” your core so you can build your new washboard abs on strong foundations.

I’ll go into the specifics of my “reset” tip in just a second, so by all means, keep reading.

The first thing I have to WARN you is to avoid isolation exercises.

I used to believe isolation exercises were actually essential when it came to your core! Now I know better, and so do you…

Here’s what will happen if you carry on using isolation exercises as part of your core workout:

Your body is designed to work as a unit. Individual muscles aren’t meant to be worked in isolation. When you work one area without working surrounding muscles, it causes an imbalance. Strong muscles in one area can overpower weak muscles, offering a false sense of security and risking serious injury.

Here’s the secret: only by fully engaging your core in every plane can you fire up all the muscles in the midsection, front, side, and rear to bring balance to your body. When you do this, you’ll properly work the deep muscles of the core.

So here’s what you do instead: powerful functional exercises that work your core across three planes of motion. Your core needs to be worked in 3D.

By just doing functional rather than isolation movements as part of your workout you’ll see more impressive gains in far, far less time.

Just picture it:

People will look at you in amazement when you develop rock-hard, chiseled abs without doing a single crunch or wasting hours eeking out marginal gains. With functional movements as part of a complete workout program, everything works in harmony to burn fat, increase energy and build muscle through the core.

That’s not all: you’ll also shave hours and days off the amount of time you need to train your core.

The benefits of this simple tip continue to surprise me, and it continues to astound all the athletes I’ve taught it to

Well, listen to this one.

Would it surprise you to discover you can actually enjoy the foods you REALLY want to eat when building chiseled abs?

Most people believe you have to haul yourself through the process of complicated and boring diets, but I would rather see you eat foods you enjoy and STICK to a long-term program.

Enjoying your abs diet starts here: simply forget about calorie restriction – this only results in weight loss, NOT fat loss, which is where you want to put your focus.

You also need to train your body to use fat as an energy source and taking steps to improve your gut health will flip the switch on improving your rate of fat loss.

Just picture it:

People will be STUNNED when they see you efficiently sculpting a set of abs your buddies will be jealous of when they’re still dieting and missing out!

Enjoying the journey is the key to staying on the path, and this simple nutrition strategy will get you there fast!

And, it’s about to get even better, because now I’ll be sharing my most VITAL tip when it comes to killer abs.

The other tips I just gave you were great, but without applying THIS tip to the rest? Forget about succeeding in your goals.

This simple tip is the center of the Perfect Abs Equation: hitting the “reset” button on your core strength.

It’s the tactic behind ALL success in developing a rock-solid six-pack because it allows you to build your core on solid foundations, working every muscle effectively for a balanced midsection that properly supports your body.

This is my patented Two Phase Principle, used successfully by virtually every six-pack celebrity or athlete, even if they don’t know it!

Here’s what you do: you break down your eight week plan into two distinct phases of training, each designed for a specific purpose.

This is the bedrock foundation of my entire strategy. It’s one that will give you a lifetime of power and strength in your core that makes sculpting chiseled abs easier than you could ever imagine.

Just imagine what your life will feel like when you MASTER this Two Phase process!

You’ll forever leave behind the frustrations you’ve no-doubt experienced when it comes to working your abs. All those frustrations end TODAY.

And this is happening in your life simply because you NOW know this formula.

It’s the little-known success strategy enjoyed by the elite… and now it’s your turn!

Okay, that was a TON of valuable information. You may be feeling a bit unsure of where and how to get started and that’s fine.

All this means is that you have two simple choices to make, right now:

Choice 1: You can take all the tips and info I just gave you and try to put the puzzle pieces together on your own, without help.

You never know! You may eventually put the pieces of the puzzle together on your own, but it will take a lot longer and there’s no guarantee you’ll make it.

Or, there’s the smarter choice. The one savvy men and women take to speed up their progress towards owning a washboard stomach.

This is the quickest, fastest, and smartest way possible to stunning abs without doing a single, dangerous crunch.

Look… there’s no reason to try this on your own – I’ve already done all the work for you, right?

There’s no need to scratch your head in frustration, guessing your way to “halfway there”, because I’ve already created the ideal system for you.

It’s a system I’ve perfected and tested for years on countless thousands of men and women like you.

Here’s what the vast majority decide to do – it’s called:

The safest, most effective way to sculpt chiseled abs and develop an iron core in just 60 days without screwing up your spine.

My results-focused, step-by-step program guarantees you finally get the abs you want…even if:

You have limited time in your day to focus on building rock solid abs… in fact, by doing this functional program you’ll get a complete workout.

You don’t know the first thing about core exercises and they’ve never been part of your workout. I explain every single exercise in detail with follow-along videos designed to guarantee you hit perfect form right away.

You think you’re light years away from getting abs. Look… every journey starts with a single step. This program breaks down the journey into simple, digestible chunks. Start now and within 60 days you’ll see bigger, more impressive results than you can imagine.

You’re already injured. The truth is most people come to me already suffering from back pain, neck pain or some other problem caused by poor posture or their body being out of alignment. Through my program, you’ll feel strength – real strength – in your core to balance and properly align your body.

Or even if you think you’ve tried EVERYTHING!

To save your time, and mine, let me be upfront and tell you what Crunchless Core is NOT, before I tell you what it IS.

Crunchless Core is NOT a “quick-fix” abs program promising quick results with no effort down.

Crunchless Core is NOT a “crunches-replacement” or a hastily thrown together collection of plank alternatives you can find online that simply DON’T work. It is a complete workout system that trains your abs in 3D for the best results.

Don’t you think you’ve been fed enough myths about crunches? Isn’t it enough? Isn’t it time to start using what’s PROVEN to work?

Crunchless Core is the direct result of over 15 years of studying and working with athletes one-on-one to discover what works.

I uncovered the hidden patterns and unique (sometimes ‘odd’) tactics they use to stay strong, powerful and injury-free in the world of competitive sport.

And now, from this point forward, you’ll have the tools to do just the same.

The strategies of the truly successful can NOW be duplicated easily by you, giving you:

A strong, powerful core that protects you from bad posture and keeps you upright, strong and filled with energy and vitality

The freedom to work out in LESS time with LESS effort so you can achieve even BIGGER gains.

And all of this, while you quickly achieve a rock-solid washboard stomach with abs that pop, faster than ever before possible!

Before we go one step further, I need to be 100% honest with you.

I hope you’re not one of “those” types looking for the next “7 Minute Instant Abs” quick-fix that promises the earth but just leaves your wallet leaner.

You get it: more garbage that doesn’t work, never has worked, and never WILL work for you.

Then do us both a favor and just forget all about Crunchless Core, because it’s not going to give you ‘impossible’ results just SOLID results…

Crunchless Core isn’t pie-in-the-sky fantasy land nonsense.

It’s the REAL deal.

And it’s only for folks like you who are serious about building an iron core and enjoying eye-popping abs.

There are no push button answers to succeeding in sculpting abs you can be proud of. Nothing in this life is easy, and you know that, but THIS is as easy as it gets…

So, if you’re like most folks watching this presentation, and you’re 100% ready for REAL to succeed, here’s what you’re going to receive.

If you really want to:

Sculpt a ripped, chiseled core with an impressive six-pack and abs that pop right out

Build a bulletproof midsection to protect and support your whole body and guarantee good posture so you can breathe, move and workout better

Enjoy explosive power and optimal performance right through your core without risking serious injury or weakness

Then Crunchless Core isn’t just “a” solution for you… it’s the ONLY solution for you.

What Others Are Saying About Crunchless Core

Having a Strong Core is a Requirement for Long-Term Health of the Skeletal and Muscular System

“Brian’s method of core training is unique and unlike anything I’ve seen in my career as an orthopedic surgeon. His training style, combined with his knowledge of functional movement would benefit athletes, workout enthusiasts, and weekend warriors in every gym, clinic, and training center.

I find Brian’s core workouts beneficial and appropriate for a broad range of patients and athletes. In fact, I would probably perform fewer surgeries if people followed his core strengthening approach.”

Athletic Trainer Approved

“I have worked as an Athletic Trainer for nearly 20 years, and when it comes to the core, people still today only think of crunching till they have a “6-pack.” The thought that one can focus on one area and “spot reduce” only increases the very dysfunctional thought.

To truly have a great core that protects not only the athlete, but also all of us, a comprehensive, “full circle” approach to its strength and flexibility is needed.

The program that Brian has implemented addresses the entire scope of the core, its function for optimal strength, and perhaps the most crucial…the durability of the spine to avoid injury.

Let’s face it, lying down and doing the standard crunch only increases unwanted pressure into the cervical spine and at the end of the day offers next to no core strength benefits.

Brian’s program addresses the abdominal flexors, extensors, rotators and stabilizers. It also strengthens the hips that supports the core with large muscles and allows it to move in full ranges of motion without pain and potential injury.

By performing the types of dynamic stabilization…planking for example…Brian is able to provide a comprehensive core strengthening program that will not only give a person the durability and desired function they are after, but also be the actual way to bring about that “6-pack” we all like to show off!

I have been blessed to work with athletes of all kinds over the years, from Randy “Macho Man” Savage to pitcher Frank Viola and many other professional and collegiate athletes.

But no matter what age, level or ability, none of them could perform without a strong and flexible core as the foundation. If you want to enjoy your highest level of fitness…and do it pain free…get off the crunching floor and experience success through Brian’s program!”

Over 40? No Problem!

“As a male over 40, I’ve probably tried just about every exercise regime imaginable, so I’m constantly looking for different things to keep my body guessing and my workouts fresh.

When I saw that Critical Bench was launching Crunchless Core, I knew I had to try it. From day one I knew this 8 week program was legitimate from the intensity level it puts you at. Keeping up with the program is easy and works with any schedule. If you truly want results, I highly recommend Crunchless Core!”

Don’t Isolate the Abs – Integrate Them Into Movement

“Current research has shown the downside of performing endless crunches and sit-ups for abdominal development. Coach Brian has done a good job creating a program that will work the abdominals in a more comprehensive manner, using exercises that integrate the abs into movement.”

To Look Athletic You Have to Be Athletic

“I have people all the time ask me, “How do I get abs like you, how do I get shredded?” Well, I finally have an easy way to answer their question; With this program!

Crunchless Core addresses all the issues with getting fit. It lays out your programming and gives detailed explanations of every aspect. This is the way I personally recommend you train.

Laying on the floor doing countless crunches is a thing of the past. If you want to look athletic, then you have to be athletic! Crunchless Core will lead you down the path to 6-pack gold!”

Sculpted Abs Without Neck or Back Pain

“I spend hours at the gym every week trying to improve my body and much of that time is dedicated to sculpting my abs. Like most people, I do many of the same exercises over and over again with good results but I must say I was super impressed with the variety of movements found in Crunchless Core…many I’ve never done before.

They were very challenging and I could feel the muscles working every where in my body and not just my abs. I also noticed zero neck or back pain after working out hard.

The movements are all carefully designed to fully engage the core and strengthen the entire body without having to do boring crunches and sit ups like you find in most other workout programs. Two thumbs up for me!”

Tightens Up the Entire Body

“I’m 50 years old and the CA2.0 program is awesome! My results came from following the program closely along with the consistent diet.

In just under 60 days I was able to noticeably tighten up my entire body and get the 6-pack abs I always wanted. I am very happy and will definitely recommend this program to other people!”

Have a look at what’s included in Crunchless Core, all designed to get you on the path to perfect abs within just 60 days:

On page four, you’ll discover the secret behind my “Two-Phase” Total Body Program.

You’ll completely transform your core from the inside-out in just 60 days with the Two Phase Total Body Program. The program includes over eight total body workouts containing over 70 functional exercises… and NOT A CRUNCH IN SIGHT!

We’re talking the highest quality content you can imagine as I walk you through the easy-to-follow instructional videos designed to show you PERFECT form.

You’ve no-doubt noticed that Crunchless Core is, without question, the safest, most efficient program giving you a stronger, more powerful core.

Which naturally opens up the possibility for you to see a rapid transformation within just eight weeks.

And it goes without saying that this program makes your life MUCH easier.

Here’s what I mean:

Each four-week phase is designed to train your core as a unit – rather than isolating the outer muscles. This way, you’ll burn more calories, add stability through your midsection and look beach-ready by the time the end of the program rolls around… all while spending LESS time and LESS effort training.

Which is amazing, considering some of the outdated advice on crunches included spending hours doing hundreds and even thousands of crunches to get the best results.

Now, you may be thinking, “I bet any blueprint that can give me all of that would cost a small fortune”.

And, in all honesty, It really should.

After all, Crunchless Core has already helped hundreds of athletes, professional sports people and guys and girls, like you and me, achieve rock-solid abs faster and easier than ever without pain.

I’ll get to the price in just a few moments.

First, I want to share a few unique benefits this one-of-a-kind system will deliver to you.

I won’t go into too much detail here, but these are absolutely some of my favorite training strategies…

How about the “bizarre” exercise you can do that instantly relieves the pressure on your spine – nice!

Or how to do LESS reps and get TWICE the results in HALF the time!

Our normal off-the-shelf retail price for Crunchless Core without any additional bonuses, is $97.

Listen: You’re not just getting Crunchless Core when you order today. I have something really special for you.

BONUS 1: Crunchless Core LITE – Home Edition

You’ve shown me how much you desire bulletproof abs. So now I’m tossing in – for a limited time only – one of my best programs as a free fast-action bonus so you can get there even quicker.

The premium gift you’ll receive today is Crunchless Core LITE – Home Edition ($50 Value).

I’m sure you realize when it comes to changing how your body looks and feels, there is one “secret” weapon that will get you to your goals faster than ever. It’s being consistent.

You don’t need a single piece of equipment to complete any of the workouts – they can be done in your garage, office or a hotel room. Every workout can be completed in less than 30 minutes so you can squeeze a complete core routine into even the busiest schedule.

Inside our Crunchless Core LITE bonus program, you’ll discover 16 super-fast core workouts to guarantee you stay on track with your core-building process whenever, wherever.

The program is split into four areas of focus, with four workouts in each section designed to work towards your goals: Power, Strength, Stability and Combination

It’s normally valued at $50 if you bought this separately… but it’s yours FREE today when you take action.

BONUS 2: Exercise Exchange Manual ($25 Value)

I have one more special BONUS for you and it’s called the Crunchless Core Exercise Exchange Manual.

If there are any exercises in the program you can’t perform due to an injury or if the exercise feels too difficult you can refer to this handy Bonus.

It will give you alternative exercises you can swap out for ones you don’t want to do or don’t have the equipment to do.

Don’t worry about any exercises you’re not comfortable with. You can easily exchange or swap it out for one of the regressions from this booklet.

This bonus is valued at $25 but included free with your order today.

Now you can see why Crunchless Core is valued at $97.

Your premium bonuses ALONE are worth $75, which would bring your investment today for Crunchless Core to $172.

However, I have a good reason that I’ll share with you shortly for making you a far better deal. Keep reading and I’ll share why I’m slashing the price for a limited time.

Sure, you could just walk away, chance it, and keep going down the road you’re on now.

And end up spending 10, 20, even 100 times more than the investment you’ll make today on Crunchless Core from a personal trainer. (Or even the cost of physical therapy!)

Then there’s all the time you’ll waste plugging away at squeezing out those hard-to-sculpt abs by still doing what all the freebie programs tell you to do. (Hint: there’s a reason they’re FREE).

And let’s not even TALK about all the time you’ll miss having the chance to show off your beautifully sculpted six-pack at home, at the gym or on the beach.

Neither of us see that as your future, right?

Listen: I’m ready to make this a no-brainer decision for you today.

I feel you deserve to know why I’m offering you such a massive discount today.

Let me share my vision with you: it’s a CAUSE I’m inviting you to join today, along with the thousands of others who are ready too.

I want to help ordinary guys and girls break free from the dangerous and damaging advice that lazy, old-school trainers and coaches use to hold us back.

I want you to have access to the same “insider” knowledge that elite coaches and trainers have known for years… but have kept tight-lipped about for fear of losing their “edge”.

I want to create a level playing field so no-one suffers from the long-lasting effects crunches cause to your posture and spinal health.

I simply cannot let “price” get in the way of you achieving YOUR goals, as well as helping me make a positive impact.

Only on this page, your total investment in Crunchless Core will NOT be $172 today.

Not even close.

Cut that price in half… and you’re STILL not close!

As ridiculous as it sounds, you won’t even pay $49 today!

Today only, and only from this letter, your total investment in Crunchless Core, including the PREMIUM Accelerated Fat Loss Program bonus valued at $50, is ONLY:

$17

Lock in your super-discounted price, which is extremely limited, by clicking on the yellow BUY NOW order button below.

I want you to try Crunchless Core

ON ME for a full 60 days.

If you do not sculpt yourself a chiseled, rock-hard six pack in that time…

OR:

If you’re not COMPLETELY DELIGHTED by the program…

OR:

Even if you don’t like the clothes I wear in the follow-along video… or my accent… or enthusiasm… no worries! I’ll give back your ENTIRE investment.

No questions asked and no hassles. I’ll refund every penny, because I’m committed to producing results for you, no matter what.

Plus, as part of my Double Guarantee, if you use the program and think I’ve wasted your time or haven’t delivered on my promise, we’ll pay for your next program by allowing you to pick one of our other products.

Click on the yellow button below to secure your discounted price before someone else claims it.

Just have a look at what these clients did following my Two Phase Formula…

Maximum Results – Not a Quick Fix

“I can confidently say that Coach Brian invested some serious time and effort to ensure you learn the proper technique and skills in the Crunchless Core program. His knowledge extends beyond helping you to achieve your personal best but extends to work out plans, diet and lifestyle change guidance.

I promise you will not find just some random workout routines but some amazing exercises and challenges from beginning to end. This workout is about maximum results and not just a quick fix. I am sending a BIG thank you to Coach Brian for sharing his knowledge and passion for fitness with me.”

Stay Injury Free & Train Your Core Without a Single Sit-Up

“I am 54 years old and I have had some injuries the past couple of years and I shared my concerns with Brian Klepacki about trying to stay injury free. He made a plan Crunchless Core to focus on stability and balance as well as strengthening my core using total body movements without ever doing a single sit up.

His knowledge has opened my eyes to a whole new level of training. I will continue to work with Brian to be in the best shape possible.”

Works Even If You’ve Tried Everything Else!

“I have been actively training in one way or another for 15 years. Being mother of 3 with limited time, I have trained with personal trainers, been a runner, a Crossfitter, done Orange Theory, Zumba, Boot Camp, tried training on my own and many other classes in between but most programs have fallen short.

When I started training with Brian I had overuse injuries in both knees from an intense ‘Boot Camp’ that I was attending. In the short time that I have been with Brian, he has not only corrected my knee pain, but he has taught me so much about functional training, my form and corrected things I thought I was doing right for years. I have always had weak abs/core, so Brian has me doing really unique core exercises from Crunchless Core that not only improved my strength, but enhanced my overall functionality as well.

Brian’s functional training model used in Crunchless Core has improved my physical performance and fitness level all around!”

Triathlete Feels Great & Setting Personal Records

“Being a triathlete and former yoga and kickboxing instructor, I’ve had my fare share of training programs as well as injuries. I’ve had multiple knee surgeries so running was always painful and slow to say the least.

Lastly, I work unpredictable long hours in a fast paced, high stress job and I sit ALL day. I started seeing Brian Klepacki after I finished my first half Ironman because I needed help. I couldn’t seem to make time for actual training leading up to my next event, but he had a solution…functional strength training like you’ll find in Crunchless Core

We worked specific muscle groups for biking, running, and swimming, which included a tremendous amount of core and stability training, never once doing ‘traditional’ stomach exercises. The end result was a faster swim without much time in the water, a stronger bike, a much less painful run and I feel great!”

Get Out of the Desk Position!

“If the desk position is hard on your lower back and could cause long term aches and pains, then why would you lay on the ground and repeatably crank your spine over and over into the desk position?”

Yet, just by taking action today, the complete Crunchless Core system, with all the bonuses, PLUS the Super Bonus is yours for only $17.

Now, remember, you’re not just getting an incredible discount today.

You’ll be joining all those guys and girls who have chosen to make a better path for themselves and commit to not working harder but SMARTER to get the results they deserve.

Plus, you’ll join the ever-growing Crunchless Core satisfied customer community.

Click on the BUY NOW button right now and lock in your discounted price today.

Within a few minutes, you’ll have everything at your fingertips: the entire Crunchless Core System, inside the secure members area.

Remember: this includes, today only, your premium bonuses, Crunchless Core LITE – Home Edition and the Exercise Exchange, worth $75!

So your order will be smooth and easy today, I want to show you EXACTLY what to expect after you click the order button below:

First, you’ll be taken to our 100% secure checkout page, which looks like this:

After you order, you’ll be shown ways to customize your order, and even have the opportunity to pick up some valuable “quick-start” bonus materials…

Finally, you’ll arrive at our secure member’s area.

It really is that simple to get started RIGHT NOW.

Remember: you’ve been struggling with chiseling out your powerful six-pack abs for way too long.

Unless you take action today, you run a grave risk of causing serious – possibly irreversible – damage to your spine and pain in your back and neck.

By failing to build your core properly you’re leaving your body out of alignment and unbalanced.

And, worst of all, your midsection simply won’t EVER have that chiseled, Herculean six-pack that comes from training the whole core from inside out.

YET: All of this can be avoided, beginning today, simply by applying the step-by-step program I’ve developed for you in Crunchless Core.

See, I have this vision for you.

Today, you finally have THE answer to your frustrating abs problem at long last – and…

You’re brimming with excitement.

You’re bursting with confidence.

Turning heads as you walk into the room.

You are experiencing the body and health you deserve – at long last!

Yes, it’s true. Your lack of progress and obstacles placed before you – up until today – have been no fault of your own.

It’s true that you’ve been lied to in the past about quick-fix solutions.

And trainers and coaches have perpetuated the “Crunches Myth” to serve their own interests for far too long.

Especially with the ‘MORE CRUNCHES IS BETTER” idea so many of us have tried (including me).

And who can forget all those false promises other coaching “experts” made to you that never stood up to the light of day?

Yet, today is your day to CLAIM your power and take responsibility.

You do it by taking action… doing what you know you MUST DO to see REAL results with a program that WORKS!

Here’s the GOOD NEWS. Unlike all those ridiculous abs workout gimmicks, this one is GUARANTEED to work for you:

I’m asking you right now to just try Crunchless Core for 60 full days, on me… either you are thrilled with your new set of bulletproof six-pack abs, or you pay NOTHING.

Plus, I never leave you hanging – either me or my Support Team will get back to you quickly with any questions you have, so you’ll always feel taken care of.

Immediately after you buy today, you need to do this: wait for the “Welcome” email to arrive in your inbox with your log-in details and log into the members area.

Then head over to the Crunchless Core Workbook and read through the introduction and program breakdown to understand how the Two Phase program is structured. That way you can dive in ASAP and get started seeing results.

Diving into the workbook will guarantee you get your program started in the right way to give your 60 day journey to perfect abs a running start.

Listen, don’t put this off a second longer… let me tell you WHY:

First, keep in mind I’ve discounted Crunchless Core by over $100, completely risk-free to you with its guarantee.

Just know this. I will eventually have to increase the price closer to the retail value, as I’m giving you a massive discount.

So you must act now before I have to do that… it may be today, tomorrow, or in a few weeks…

And, you also don’t want to miss out on my one-time-only bonus offer for Crunchless Core LITE – Home Edition and the Exercise Exchange, reserved ONLY for first-come action-takers.

Those who act today will lock in their discount and these free gifts.

Others won’t be so fortunate.

And, let’s remember: unless you take action now, today, you may NEVER take action.

You may do what so many others do and put it off… you know, for “a few more days?”… which turns into months… even years?

So, now we both know what you REALLY want and need.

And, let’s just face facts, and do the only SMART thing left for you to do.

Get my one-time, limited discount while it’s still available to you, before someone else takes your spot.

And get on the fast track to perfect abs using the smartest, safest, most proven system for developing a rock-solid six-pack on the planet.

CLICK the BUY NOW button below right now, and let’s get you started today.

Move Well. Look Well. Live Well,

Brian Klepacki, MS, CSCS, FMS, CISSN Fat Loss & Core Training Advisor – CriticalBench.com

FAQS ABOUT Crunchless Core

Q: How is this different from other programs?

A: What makes this program unique is that it’s a complete workout. Many other programs focus on simply finding alternatives to crunches – like planks and other movements. And that’s all they do. They don’t offer a complete workout system that actually builds from the core with functional movements which don’t cause wear and tear to your joints.

Q: Why can’t I just find all this online and do it myself?

A: You could try looking for some of this information online or try searching through thousands of articles and studies on core strength and conditioning. Even then you’d still have to go to college and pick up a degree on exercise in order to have access to many of the academic studies and research I used when developing the program.

Ultimately, you won’t be able to replicate this program. What I have developed is based on 15 years helping top class athletes and professional sports people and all my experience and expertise has been poured into this targeted, proven program that I know gets results every time.

You really won’t find another program like it.

Q: How long does the program take?

A: The complete program takes 60 days. This is the optimal amount of time it will take to make significant changes in your core strength and stability so you can develop rock-hard, chiseled abs that turn heads every time.

The program is split into Two Phases of four weeks each. The first phase deals with building up your core stability and strength. The second phase builds on the first and is where you make the gains which help you towards the six-pack you’ve always wanted.

You can, of course, carry on the program as long as you wish.

Q: How does your guarantee work?

A: It’s really simple. If for ANY reason within 60 days of the program you don’t like anything about it, you can simply contact our customer support team and request a full refund, no questions asked. We’re so confident you’ll love the program, we want this to be a no-brainer for you so we’ve removed ALL the risk.

And when we say you can refund for ANY reason, we mean it. In fact, you can try the whole 60 day program and see for yourself the incredible gains you’ll make in such a short time.

You really can prove it works without any risk at all.

Q: Who is this program suitable for?

A: This program has been designed for men and women of any age and at any stage of fitness. Whether you’ve never before done a single crunch or if you’re an experienced athlete, you will benefit from building a strong, bulletproof core using the Crunchless Core principles.

Every single one of the functional exercises is described in detail and the follow-along video shows you exactly how to complete each exercise with perfect form so you maximize your effort into gaining results. I have done all the hard work of breaking it all down in its simplest parts so you don’t have to worry about a thing. It really couldn’t be simpler to follow.

Q: What happens if I’m already injured? Will this work for me?

A: Of course! I’ve worked with numerous athletes to support them and help them back to good health and so I’ve designed the program to help you, too.

The first phase of the program is specifically designed to “reset” and build your core strength. In the process, you will develop better posture, more power and greater stability in your midsection to support the bigger exercises in the second half of the program.

By focusing on working all the deep core muscles rather than just the superficial surface muscles, you’ll bring balance to your body and remove many of the underlying causes behind your injury.

Q: How complicated are the exercises? Do I need any gym equipment?

A: The exercises have been chosen based on their functionality. While I’ve made every effort to keep the program as simple and straightforward as possible, there will inevitably be some exercises which are a little harder than others to perform BUT for good reason. These work your core more effectively and more efficiently by working through all three planes – remember your core is 3D. No matter what the exercise, you’re completely covered by the program. I outlined in detail every single exercise and walk you through each one in the video to ensure you nail perfect form.

You will require either a home gym or a gym in order to complete both phases. That’s simply because there are big movements involved and you need the range of weights a gym gives you.

Q: What if this doesn’t work for me?

A: Crunchless Core really will work for you, I’m sure of it.

Our most successful students of the program followed it through all 60 days and were able to develop beautiful, chiseled abs while remaining injury free.

If, in the highly unlikely event, the program doesn’t work for you, don’t worry. We’ll refund you all your money – if you’re still within the 60 days refund period – no questions asked. Plus we’ll even pay for another one of our proven programs so you can work on another aspect of your strength or conditioning. There really is no risk to you at all.

Sources

Stop doing sit-ups: why crunches don’t work – Kate Daily, Newsweek (March 2009)

Are situps and crunches bad for the spine? – Christy Callahan, Livestrong (Aug 2013)

Why crunches don’t work – Ben Greenfield, Huffington Post (May 2012)

Why crunches won’t give you your flat abs, and will hurt your body – Lisa Elaine, Well & Good (May 2012)

Neck safety while doing crunches – Jonathan Thompson, Livestrong (Nov 2015)

Back pain while doing crunches – Elle Di Jensen, Livestrong (June 2015)

Sports hernia 101, Jim Brown, EXOS (May 2009)

Top 10 gym exercises done incorrectly – NHS (October 2015)

The surprising downsides of sit-ups – Claudia Hammond, BBC, (April 2016)

Ab exercises that can cause injury – Amy Robers, Men’s Fitness

Dangerous workouts – avoid these five exercises at all costs to prevent injury – Justin Caba,Medical Daily (Sep 2014)

Is your ab workout hurting your back? Gretchen Reynolds, NY Times (June 2009)

The health hazards of sitting – Bonnie Berkowitz and Patterson Clark, Washington Post (Jan 2014)

Abdominal fat and what to do about it – Harvard Medical School (Sept 2005)

10 exercise myths that won’t go away – Madison Park, CNN (June 2011)

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Secret Scarves Pt 4

Warning - two paragraphs with mention of abuse, then the rest is good

Fluffy and funny with more flirting

...

You were out on your walk and your memories flashed back to you, the feeling of the water pouring over you, the sound of the cheers as your head came up over the water, unable to see the other swimmers behind you frantically trying to catch you. The surge of adrenaline flowing through you as you climbed out of the water, knowing that you had won, seeing your parents jumping up in the stands, all the flashes of the cameras. Feeling the air trying to leave you as you felt the scars on your ribs start to burn, remembering the bat that had left them, shaking and forcing yourself to keep breathing you worked your way through that memory again, the same way you had done for the past eight years any time it popped up, now able to do it without even showing a flinch still wearing the small smile that the snowfall had brought.

 As you relaxed as the memory had passed you still heard the announcers, the screams from the crowd, feeling your coach wrap you in a tight hug, the only man besides your Uncle and Agent who tried to free you from your pain, making you feel safe for once, loved, free to breath on your own, form your own thoughts and opinions teaching you that they could not keep you forever. Your mind ran back to your training with Legolas, and the ache that had grown as you trained together, you hadn’t felt such a pull back to the pool before, needing it again, feeling the familiar burn of your muscles after a long trip to the gym, loving being back there again imagining being back again. For weeks now you had fought against the feelings, thinking you couldn’t just jump back in, but now you just had to try, unwilling to let your fear define you anymore. You pulled out your phone and dialed the familiar number and hit call.

 Halfway across town in the upper floors of the massive Gondorian Sports Agency building there was a board meeting going on, all of them trying to figure out what to do, their latest athlete they had represented had just gotten a second DUI and they were going to have to drop them as they refused to get help for their problems. Next year was an Olympic year, they needed a solution and fast,  Aragorn the young CEO had just covered his face with his hands grumbling to himself as he propped his elbows up on the table, trying to block out the loud talking filling the room around him. His hands stopped moving as he heard the ringing phone break through the voices, he lowered his hands and hit the intercom button, hearing his secretaries voice ring out, “Mr Estel, there’s a Miss Pear on line three for you.” The voices ceased as they heard your name, all of them looking at the intercom then to Aragorn in shock, as he drew in a deep breath, headed into his office across the hall taking a seat behind his desk and picked up the phone hitting the button for line three.

“Jaqi?”

You felt another small smile on your face as you heard his voice, “Hello Aragorn. It’s been a long time.”

He leaned back in his chair with a small smile on his face again, “Yes, how have you been?”

His eyes were on the group of men watching through the glass walls from the meeting room still, “Good, excellent really since the last time I saw you.”

“Good, I’m glad to hear it, you’re still with your Uncle?”

“Yes, I’m attending his University, I’m actually graduating in May. That’s part of why I’m calling you.”

“Okay.” He gently started to press his teeth into the tip of his little finger to keep himself calm.

“I’ve actually been training a friend of mine, he’s on the swim team.”

“Your training someone? Thats excellent, is he any good?”

You giggled, “In his last semester we got him from 7th to 2nd place ranking, his team coach is trying to get him to try out for the National team.”

“You should send me his tape, I need a new athlete, and if you’re training him I want to see him. What’s his name?”

“Legolas Greenleaf, he’s got a page on the University Swim page.”

“I will look him up definitely.” As he typed the name into his computer, quickly finding his page, the first picture popping up being from his last meet with the medal around his neck and his arm around your neck, his mouth dropping at how much you’d changed.

“Still there?”

“Hmm? Oh yes, sorry just pulled up his page on my computer, his ranking looks good. You’ve certainly grown.”

You giggled, “Had to eventually, it has been eight years. That’s also part of the reason I called.”

He straightened up a bit in his chair, “Go on.”

“I was wondering if there was any way to start competing again, I know it’s been a while, and next year is just going to be a rocket aimed at the sun with the level of competition…”

He let out a chuckle, “I’ll make a call, we can have you back on the National Team by New Years. You are sure about this?”

“I’m stronger than I was then, and I want to know how I rank. I know the time gap will make it harder for me.”

“There certainly will be a lot of press about you coming back, are you ready for that?”

“I’m used to it, it’s my friends, I’m not sure how ready they will be for it, but it should die down soon enough. Easy enough to manage around them if they need their distance from it. But I know my Uncle and Cousins will be happy for me and stand by me through it as much as they can handle. Do you want me to send you a tape of me in the pool?”

“I’d rather see you at your training sessions, We’ll have to meet about the paperwork and about the new regulations.”

“Are you free for dinner tomorrow?”

His smile grew, “Yes, I will get you that try out and we can settle the rest tomorrow. Where do you want to meet?”

“Do you know the Carrock over by 22nd?”

“Yes, they have amazing steaks there, so is 6 good?”

“Sounds perfect.”

“I will see you then and we can talk it all out.”

“Good, Oh I’ll leave you my cell number, it’s _.”

He added it to his cellphone and gave you his before hanging up and rubbing his face again before he went back into the meeting room, “We have two new possible athletes, a Legolas Greenleaf and Jaqi Pear, who is wanting to get back in the pool, so we need to get on the phone and get her into the pool again, I’ll call the National Team myself.”

Grima, “Who is this Greenleaf person?”

“Jaqi has been training him, I’ve seen his stats and a few videos, I’ll handle him after we get her settled. He’s still only a Freshmen in College, plenty of time for him.” They all scrambled to their offices and got on the phone gathering information about what teams would take you and what competitions you would be able to compete in, especially if you were going to try for the Olympics again.

You felt your nerves settle as you hung up adding his cellphone number into your phone before slipping it back into your pocket, feeling better about trying out, but still anxious about how your group would handle the news.

 …

Sat. Breakfast after the gym

 The guys were all in the locker room changing when Thorin looked over at Legolas curiously, “So, how did you get her to train you?”

Legolas smirked as he buckled his belt after zipping up his jeans, “We were both headed for the pool, I asked if she wanted someone to keep pace with, after we talked about swimming and we agreed that we would spot each other and pace each other in the pool when we ran into each other. After about a week we traded numbers so we could know when we couldn’t sleep.”

Thorin, “So you’re not paying her then?”

Legolas raised his eyebrow, in shock slightly at the ridiculous question, “No.”

Dwain nudged his Cousin, “So is she ever gonna compete again?”

Legolas smiled as he pulled his arms through his shirt, “She’s considering it. It’s been a while, it’s not something to take lightly.”

Thorin, “She’s obviously good enough for you to train with her, what’s to consider?”

Legolas, “Mostly the press about it, the Olympics are next year, the Women’s team has been in a slump for a few years, if she’s even at the same level she was at eight years ago she’d easily take first place on it, sending her back to the games again.”

Dwalin, “So they do a few interviews, maybe a few pictures, what’s the hard part?”

Boromir chuckled, “No, not just a few pictures, at her last games she was swarmed by cameras, she was at the top then she just stopped, there will be thousands wanting to know why. She’s not going to be invisible anymore, I know if she does call her Agent again they’ll be trying to get her face on as many products as they can.”

Thorin and Dwalin’s eyes went to the floor and Dwalin said, “So that’s what her life is going to be like then, just competitions and swarms of cameras?”

Boromir, “The cameras are mostly around the competitions, for the rest of the year it’s normal, a few autographs here and there, but Women’s swimming is different then Men’s, nowhere near the publicity.”

Thranduil, “Did you just expect her to just jump back in the water without having anyone notice?”

Thorin, “I didn’t think she’d be like a celebrity or anything with the swarms of cameras. You know more about this than I do, your kid is doing the same thing.”

 Making Thranduil smirk as he tied his shoes before standing again, “Just be supportive, she’ll need us behind her if she’s going to compete again.”

They grabbed their things and saw you waiting for them, with your hair pulled into a ponytail with your bangs hanging out again, earning a smile from the group as Legolas wrapped his arm around your shoulders again, and led you out to their car again. You caught the slightly jealous look from Thorin as Dwalin and Boromir both climbed into his car seeing you gently placed inside by Legolas after climbing into the back again.

 You all went to Denny’s choosing the round corner booth, settling you in-between Thranduil and Thorin again, both of them happily resting their hands on your lap as you all flipped through the menu’s. Each of you gave your orders as you caught Boromir’s smirk you asked, “What?”

He smirked, “Have you called yet?”

“Yesterday, he said he’s going to get me all the paperwork and regulations.”

Thorin glanced down at you feeling his nerves rising slightly, “So you’re going to compete again?”

You looked up at him, “I’m going to try out, see how I rank. If I do well then yes.”

Thorin forced a smile onto his face, “I’m sure you’ll be amazing.”

You all joked through the rest of the breakfast and then all climbing into your cars again, this time after a bit of snuggling in the booth he was happier at your parting, especially after you snuck in another squeeze as you passed him, but being too far for him to get you back when he turned.

 …

 As you headed back you admired the smiles on their faces as they looked out the window and windshield, seeing their similar features, noticing the darker shade of hair on Legolas and the slight difference in in their noses and the obvious eye color difference, before just turning and watching the moonlight shining through the windows making Thranduil’s eyes sparkle before looking away through the windshield at the sparkling snow. Your mind trying to imagine the woman he had conceived with, remembering when Legolas had told you she had left them and hadn’t seen them since, wondering how anyone could have just left such an incredible Man and their child who was equally incredible. As you slid your finger tips along the nails on your other hand lost in thought you spotted Thranduil glancing at you, his smile growing as he looked you over, then back to the road and asking softly, “What’s that look for?”

“Just thinking.”

He nodded slightly, “Hmm.” As he grabbed your hand gently, raising it to his lips, gently kissing your knuckles as he stopped at a light, lowering it to the arm rest and folding his fingers between yours, as he started driving again, “About what?”

“I mentioned Legolas to my Agent.”

His eyes darted to you quickly as Legolas jerked his head eagerly towards you and leaned forward grabbing the sides of the seats in front of him, and asked, “Really?”

You chuckled as you looked between them, “I wasn’t sure if I should have said it earlier, though it’d be better with just you two.”

Thranduil, “What did he say?”

“I told him to look at the videos on the college sight, he’s looked over your rankings, the rest of the conversation was about me coming back but he was very interested that we were training together. I know he’d want to meet up with you both.”

Thranduil smirked, as Legolas spoke again, “He seemed impressed?”

“Yes, especially when he saw you’d jumped five spots in a few months. We made plans for a meeting and I’ll ask him more about you if you want.”

Legolas, “Ah, don’t worry about that now, you get yourself settled and then we can meet with him. I’m sure he won’t settle on anyone with just what’s on the college sight.”

Thranduil, “How long does he usually research his athletes?”

“At least a few weeks, if it helps he said he wants to watch one of my training sessions.”

Thranduil chuckled, “He’s going to check your skill level?”

“I think it’s more about seeing if I’m healthy enough, last time he saw me I wasn’t. He made sure to ask if I was still with my Uncle and if I was sure I was ready to get back into it.”

Legolas wrapped his arm around your shoulders hugging you, “Don’t worry, no matter what we’re with you.” Making you chuckle as he kissed your cheek, and pulling back as Thranduil pulled into their driveway again.

As he stopped he kissed your hand again before letting it go to shift the car into park, the three of you climbed out of the car as he popped the trunk, Legolas grabbed the bags handing his Fathers bag to him and shouldering yours before closing the trunk. You spotted your bag on his shoulder and went to reach for it as he avoided your grasp and wrapped his free arm around your shoulder leading you to the door as Thranduil unlocked the door smiling at you both as you got to the door.

 The three of your bags being dropped by the door as Thranduil locked it and hung up his coat, taking your coats as well before sliding his arm around your middle making you shiver slightly as Legolas placed his arm around your shoulders again saying, “Alright, time for the full tour.” You chuckled as they led you around the massive house enjoying their stories and being wrapped in their arms, especially at Thranduil who slid his hand gently over your side as they led you around. Legolas eagerly led you to his room showing you his poster of you and his trophies and medals he had won before leading the tour to his Father’s room where he conveniently left the two of you alone making you giggle again.

 Thranduil chuckled, “Not very subtle is he?” As he slid his arm tighter around your middle as you spotted the sunrise through the window leading to the small balcony, he led you to the window, releasing you and pulled his large armchair over to the window settling inside and pulling you into his lap as you giggled again as he wrapped his arms around you. You settled into his chest as you slid your fingers over his arms before giving him a kiss on the cheek and turning back to the sunset, relaxing as his chest rose and fell behind you. He kissed your cheek gently as he said, “That wasn’t all you were thinking in the car was it?” You tensed up a bit and he kissed your cheek again, “You can tell or ask me anything.” As he tightened his arms a bit making you relax.

“I was comparing how you and Legolas look.”

He chuckled, “Has he told you about his Mother?”

You sensed the slight sting in his voice as he said ‘Mother’, “He mentioned once that she left the two of you when he was little. I think he said it to make me feel a little bit better after I told him about my parents, so I wouldn’t feel alone I guess.”

He rested his chin on your shoulder as he took in another breath, “Lana Blaine, we met in middle school, she was a few grades above me, but we still rode the same bus, I was 14 when she got pregnant, she was 16 after he was born she kept leaving him with me, which I absolutely loved, as did my Mother, she graduated when she was 17 and wanted to go away to college but by that time she hadn’t seen Legolas in months and her parents refused to see him at all. So we talked about it and she left, when she turned 18 and got a job my parent’s lawyer started the paperwork for child support, so she signed away her rights.”

You rested your head against his, “But he must have been such an amazing child.”

He chuckled as he hugged you tighter, “He was, she just wasn’t ready or willing to have a child.”

“And she just hasn’t seen him since?”

“Not at all, I sent a few photos until she gave up her rights, she sent them back after.”

“That’s terrible.”

“Honestly with my Mother around when he was younger it helped, he had a Woman to fill the space. A bit harder after she passed, but it gave me chance to see a softer side to my Father.”

“He was hard on you?”

He chuckled, “He was hard on everyone, District Attorney, had very high standards. I was nervous he wouldn’t be happy with my job, but he was thrilled that I managed to get a job at such a great school. I was sure that I was going to get a lecture when I studied Art History, that it wasn’t serious enough a subject for him.” As he let out another quiet chuckle, you ran your fingers over his arms again as you chuckled, sliding them slightly under his sleeves, making his smile grow and he rolled both sleeves up to his elbows and wrapped them around you again.

  “He didn’t tell you about my parents?”

He glanced at you from the corner of his eye slightly nervous at your answer, “He mentioned that you stopped competing after they died, wouldn’t say anything else.”

“I was 14 when they died.”

His eyebrow perked up when you said 14, remembering the pictures of you on the podium, not able to pair your age with your appearance, “When I was little I loved to swim, and they quickly saw the profit in it, so they kept pushing me. Every competition, every meet they pushed and waited for the payout, so they would make sure that nothing went against their paycheck. Kept me out of school, made sure I didn’t talk unless they allowed it, controlled everything down to what I ate, when I slept. I tried everything I could to get away, but no one believed me but my coach, agent and Theoden.

 They kept calling CPS but my parents just kept insisting that I just wanted out of my training that day. So when I got into the Olympics I was set to be the biggest payday, nearly $10,000 per gold medal, so when I spoke with my agent I was happy to hear that for the money there was an option for a trust fund, I got him to slip the papers in convincing them that they would get the money faster.

So I won, 10, and a few weeks after the games I knew my Father was in a mood, they still hadn’t gotten the money yet so they called about it, and after he told my Mother they came after me. She held me down when my Father got the bat.” You felt his arms tighten again and his pulse jump up as he fought back a growl as he rested his mouth against your shoulder.

“The Neighbors heard me screaming and when the cops arrived and they had made it look like a botched break in, apparently my Father had gotten carried away and had hit her in the back of the head, she passed out a few hours later and died. When I woke up the next day the hospital called the police, they didn’t have any luck in finding the so called burglar so they wanted to hear if I had gotten any other details my parents missed. When they came in the room they were shocked when I told them who it was, until I told them where I hid the camera.” He lifted his head a little, squeezing you a bit tighter at the break in your voice. “My Mother had tied my Father up when they heard the cops coming, so ‘the Man who had fought so hard to free himself to save his family’ had lied to them, when they went to go arrest him they found him dead from an overdose. They called my Uncle, and because I was still a minor it was sealed, and thankfully I got to disappear, all the world ever found out was that my parents were dead and I was safe, mostly people just assumed it was from injuries from the break in. Thankfully the internet and media wasn’t like it is now.”

“Well it’s safe with me. Do you still have any pain from it?”

“My scars sometimes, but it’s mostly with flashbacks, but I’ve managed to get those down to once a year.”

“That’s good, not the pain but the drop I mean.”

You chuckled, “It took a lot of work, Boromir especially worked hard to pull me out of my box, it was his suggestion to get the tattoos.”

“He picked them?”

“No, just thought it might make me feel better about getting undressed around people, and with swimsuits. Took me a few years to pick the right ones.”

“They are beautiful.”

“Thank you. Do you have any?”

He chuckled, “I have a stag and a fawn on my back. I didn’t get a good look at yours.”

You chuckled as you pulled his arms off you, stood and raised the bottom of your shirt, making him swallow at your sudden stripping. He scooted closer as you turned to the side and gently slid his fingers over your side, finally noticing the thin white scars across your ribs that had been used as vines between flowers and accent lines, admiring the otter, then the jackalope and the olympic rings under it, noticing a larger number of scars on this side. He chuckled as his touch caused bumps to rise over your skin again, gently kissing your side and pulled your shirt back down around you whispering “Beautiful.”

 As he looked back up to you before standing and saying, “My turn.” As he pulled his shirt off by grabbing the back of it and pulling it over his head, smiling at you as he pushed his hair back and spotted your blush at seeing him shirtless just inches away from you before he turned to show you his sculpted back with the tattoo between his shoulder blades. You couldn’t get quite a good look at it so you climbed up on the chair making him chuckle as he saw it, turning again so you could inspect it, gasping slightly as your fingers touched his back tracing the line work, giving you a chance to see the bumps rise across his skin. He chuckled as you said, “Gorgeous, Big Leaf and Little Leaf.” And you kissed his shoulder before you rested your chin on it and caused him to shiver slightly as you slid your fingers around his middle hugging him.

“Big Leaf huh?” He leaned over and kissed your cheek whispering, “I like it.” As he slid his hands over yours.

You both heard a chuckling from the doorway, “I’m not interrupting anything am I?”

You both turned to see Legolas who snapped a picture of you both with a large smile on his face, Thranduil smiled at him, “I was showing her my tattoo.”

He nodded, “Uh huh, sure you were, and the hugging?”

You giggled, “If you want a hug Little Leaf all you have to so is ask.”

He chuckled, “Little Leaf?” As he walked over and hugged you both tightly getting a hug in return from his Father, as he pulled back he smiled up at his Father, “I guess that make you Big Leaf then. I like it. So what are your plans for today?” Looking at you as Thranduil did the same as he pulled his shirt back on.

“Eowyn asked if I’d drop by the coffee shop at noon and a dinner at 6, other than that I’m free.”

He turned and looked at the alarm clock on the table by the bed, “Six hours, should be enough time.”

Thranduil raised his eyebrow, “Enough time for what?”

Legolas smiled as he picked you up, “Home videos.” With a chuckle as he carried you off downstairs as his Father followed closely behind, chuckling as he was gently pushed into the couch and you were dropped into his lap with a chuckle. Legolas pushed the giant cushioned foot rest under his Father’s feet so you could stretch out and left to get the videos.

Thranduil chuckled as you settled between his legs as he wrapped his arms around you again, “You don’t have to watch these if you don’t want to.”

You chuckled as you snuggled closer into his chest, “And miss footage of you both growing up, never.” Kissing his cheek again.

Both turning as Legolas entered again, popping in the first video and snapping a picture of you three as he sat down, all smiling and he snuggled against you both, Thranduil removed his right arm and wrapped it around Legolas becoming a pillow for both of you, feeling his heart warm up as he saw Legolas snap a second picture of you three, not able to wait until he had printed it out and added it to their wall, hoping to sneak a copy for himself to keep with him.

The three of you snuggled and broke for snacks, sharing a few stories from your childhood as well, promising as they drove you home that you would have them over to watch your videos with your cousins and Uncle, receiving another round of hugs and kisses on the cheeks.

 …

 You dropped your bag back in your room choosing to keep your same shirt on as it smelled like them, and quickly charged your phone before heading out to the coffee shop. As you entered you spotted Eowyn and Arwen behind the counter who happily popped back up straight as you crossed the empty coffee house.

Eowyn, “Jaqi, glad you’re here, how was your night with the Professor?” Shooting you a wink.

You rolled your eyes, “Why did you need me here?” Resting your elbows on the counter.

Arwen huffed, “Linda got fired, bumbling girl couldn’t count for change, and besides she couldn’t tell a cappuccino from an espresso.”

Eowyn, “So Lindir asked if you’d be alright with taking your old job back.”

You chuckled, “Alright, I can’t start tonight though.”

Both, “Ooooh, another date?”

“Not a date, just a dinner with my agent.”

Eowyn leaned across the counter, “If you weren’t on a date then why do you smell like you spent the night in a Man’s arms?”

You fought your smile, “I did, but it wasn’t a date.”

Both, “YOU DID WHAT?” Drawing the attention of the few people in the coffee shop making your face turn pink.

“I got invited to a movie marathon, I fell asleep between two of my professors, then went to the gym, then got invited to watch more movies with one of them at their house.”

Eowyn, “So you snuggled with TWO professors?”

Arwen, “Which ones? The ones that were here before with you?”

You giggled, “The brunette and the raven haired one.”

They both squealed happily, “Which one was the second time with?”

“The brunette.” They squealed again.

Arwen, “So you’re picking him then?”

You blushed again, “I..um..” and cleared your throat, “When do I have to start?”

Eowyn, “Tomorrow.” She leaned across the counter grabbing your hand gently slightly concerned at your pulling back, “Are you alright?”

“I’m nervous about starting swimming again, I’m not sure how they will all react to it all.”

They both nodded and Arwen said, “Well then I suppose we are just going to have to wait then.”

Eowyn, “Don’t worry, they won’t go running off, if they really know you then they’ll be stuck to you through it all.”

“Alright, well I guess I’ll head back home then.”

Arwen hopped up, “Let’s get your apron and shirt for you. I can’t wait to see the spike in the customers and tips.” Winking at you as she slipped into the back room.

Eowyn giggled, “We made sure to remind Lindir to double our supply orders, last time we had to shut down for three days, remember.”

You giggled, “Yes, if it wasn’t for that car nearly slamming into the front we would have had to turn the customers away ourselves.”

Arwen came back and dropped the apron on the counter and held the shirt up to your chest, testing the size, refolding it and setting it back down on the apron, “Just tight enough to show you off, don’t forget about the tight pants. My car needs some body work, and you are just what we need to raise the tips.” Making both of you giggle.

Eowyn, “Besides, you’ll get to see more of your teachers, they all come here everyday.”

As some customers entered Arwen told you to stop in at 10 for your shift the next morning and you headed back to the apartment to plan your outfit for the night.

…

You finally forced yourself into the shower, pulling out of your sweater leaving it across the bench at the foot of your bed, quickly showering and jumping into the task of drying yourself and your hair which always took nearly half an hour to dry. You pulled your hair up into a loose ponytail and flipped it through the middle pulling it back through and tightening it to hide the hair tie and brushing your bangs behind your left ear before applying your makeup, sticking to just simple eyeliner and some deep red lip-stain that doesn’t smudge and heading to your closet. Pulling on your sea foam green dress with sleeves that went down to your elbows that fit you tightly and went to your knees, pulling on your sheer stockings, hooking the straps to hold them up, adding a pair of your black heels and turned in the mirror smoothing your dress. You ran your fingers along the necklaces draping across your chest before adding another coat of sea foam nail polish to your nails. After that dried you filled your small bag and headed downstairs joining your Uncle who had agreed to drop you off on the way to his date with his girlfriend.

 You climbed out of the car as he stopped, he wished you luck as you closed the door, and you headed through the door that the teenager who worked there had opened for you, eyeing you over as you passed. You gave your name and settled into your seat, relaxing at the restaurant your Uncle brings you to often, the familiar setting easing your nerves, ordering a double shot of whiskey and a peach tea to follow, with two orders of steaks and grilled vegetables with mashed potatoes, bouncing your foot on your leg that was crossed over the other slightly noticing the few stares you had received as you slid your fingers over the bag on your lap. As your drink arrived you lifted it to sip on, before spotting Fili in the corner of the room staring at you intently next to his brother and a woman who looked eerily like Thorin who was currently trying to straighten Kili’s tie, before noticing the rest of the Durin clan and the Greenleaves following after, all of them noticing you as they took their seats, setting their jackets on the backs of their chairs and shooting you large smiles as they took their seats. The woman had noticed their stares and turned to look at you quickly asking Kili who you were and her gaze turned from a curious one to an intent hunting one as if she’d claimed you as her prey, Thorin had caught the gaze and had forced her back into her seat again and started a long argument that was only broken when he spotted you stand up.

 All of them eying your figure in your dress, seeing your full outfit as you smiled at the Man in a dark well tailored suit with a pale blue shirt and a silver tie with a bare tree shaped tie clip, with his dark hair brushed back and his short beard with sparkling blue-silvery eyes who froze as he spotted you. He swallowed as he forced a smile on his face taking a timid step forward and timidly kissed you on the cheek and pulled back resting his hands on your arms, “You.. look..incredible..”

You chuckled, “Thank You, I ordered us steaks.”

He chuckled as you both took your seats, giving you a chance to catch the intent gazes of the Men at the other table as you crossed your legs again settling back into your chair resting your bag back on your lap, as he chuckled nervously, trying to avoid eyeing your figure again, “Good.” Before ordering a double shot himself and a mango tea for after, watching as you finished the last of your shot and ordering a refill for you as well, as your empty glass was taken away you gave the table across the room another glance until he spoke again. “So, you should know, I got you a try out for the National team.”

You gave him a smile which made him swallow again, “Really, that fast?”

He took a sip of the drink that the waiter had just set down before him as you thanked him for your refill, then spoke again, “Well they were very excited when they heard you were wanting to come back again, there’s a list with over 100 teams on it that want you. We also got you the regulations and competitions that are coming up, all of them willing to offer you a spot to compete as long as you rank above 30th.”

You take a quick sip of your drink, “Should be easy enough.”

He chuckled, before taking another sip as you set your glass down, catching your gaze again, “You certainly look healthy, and a great deal happier.”

You nodded, “I am, it’s been a good 8 years, how have you been, I am sorry I wasn’t able to go to your Father’s funeral.”

He smiled as you finished your drink and reached for your tea the waiter had just brought, telling him thank you softly as you unwrapped your straw, dropping it in gently and took a quick sip, “Thank you, we didn’t really have one, he didn’t want one, just had a bonfire cookout in the Bahamas on his favorite beach and spread his ashes. Other than that it’s been good, I got the CEO position, the company has been doing well, how is your school going?”

You set your drink back down and laid your hand back on your bag, “Straight A’s, like I said before I graduate in May.”

“Any thoughts on work?”

You chuckled, “My Cousin offered me a job in his Company, writing short stories, editing other people’s work and even doing some cover art for them, and I start my old job at the coffee shop tomorrow.”

His smile grew again, “I’m glad you found a job to tide you through between competitions, and they’re supportive of your possible schedules?”

You nodded as your food arrived thanking the waiter again as you caught another gaze from the group, including the Woman whose eyes had yet to leave you no matter what Thorin or the other’s did, “The writing can be posted online, and my friends at the coffee shop will all cover my shifts if I need them to, I’m really just filling in until they find a replacement, unless I decide to stay for a while.”

You both started on your food when he said, “So tell me about this Legolas of yours.”

You smiled again, looking up at him as you swallowed, and started telling him about ‘Your Legolas’, watching his eyes light up as he listened intently as he ate. As he took over the conversation you ate your food and sipped on your drink.

  ..

  Dis, “She certainly is stunning.”

Thorin grunted in approval as he took another bite of his massive steak doing everything in his power not to stare at you.

Fili, “You should see her in blue.” With his eyes still fixed on you and the Man trying to ensure that he did not cross any lines.

Dis swallowed her mouthful and said, “So which one of you is claiming her?”

Thranduil and Legolas both froze mid bite and glanced at each other before continuing their chewing as Dwalin said, “Not your business Dis.”

Dis, “Now don’t be like that. I think Thorin, you should go after her, she doesn’t seem to be interested in him at all, and she keeps glancing over when he looks away.”

Thorin looked at his Sister fighting back a growl, “She’s looking over because you won’t stop staring.”

She glanced up at him with a stern gaze, “I’ll stop staring when one of you make your move.”

Dwalin stabbed his fork into his next piece of steak, “She’s our student Dis, that’s a line we can’t cross.”

Dis, “Well when does she graduate then?”

Dwalin, “May.”

Dis, “Then make your move then Dwalin.”

Dwalin, “I’m seeing her cousin.”

Dis rested her elbow on the table, “Really? Why wasn’t I informed of this?”

Dwalin, “Because who I drop my pants for is not your business, same for the rest of us.”

Dis rolled her eyes and nudged Thorin’s elbow receiving another small growl, “Now Thorin..”

Thorin growled out, “I’m not talking about this again, Dis. She’s off limits to all of us until May, especially you, Dis.”

Dis glanced up catching you excuse yourself for the restroom, as you stood the Men got a quick glimpse of the strap holding up your stockings making them thankful for the table cloth covering their laps as Dis snuck away as Thorin was distracted by your thighs, growling again as he spotted her entering the bathroom just before you, catching your stunned reaction as the door shut.

  …

  As you entered the door you spotted the Woman from across the dining room waiting for you standing just behind the door waiting for you in a stunning blue dress with her hair wrapped up in a tight bun who appeared nearly Thorin’s height in her short heels, you forced out a smile as she smiled and said, “Jaqi Pear, it’s good to finally meet you.”

You let out a nervous chuckle, “I’m guessing you’re Thorin’s sister, Dis.”

She smiled again, “I’m glad to hear you’ve heard of me. I would think that the boys would have avoided speaking about me altogether by how they’ve been hiding you.”

You chuckled again as you said, “I really have to pee.” As you slipped past her into one of the stalls, hearing her turn on a faucet as you handled your business and came back out to wash your hands and dry them. She turned to you holding out a slip of paper, “This is our Family home adress, we are throwing a New Years Dinner Party, I would love it if you would attend.”

You gently took the paper and nodded as she slipped out of the bathroom, groaning a little as you took another deep breath before stepping out, pausing as you saw Fili on the other side of the door.

  Fili smiled slightly as his eyes slid over you, “Sorry, tried to stop her, we wouldn’t have brought her here is we’d have know that you were going to be here.” The last few words coming out in a slight grumble.

You smiled, “I’m still breathing, so no harm done. She did invite me to New Years though.”

His eyebrow rose, “Are you coming then?”

“I’ll think about it, I’m not sure what my Uncle and Cousins are doing, if I’m free I will.”

He rubbed the back of his neck, “Well, I should let you get back.” As he quietly headed back to the table, quietly confirming that Dis had in-fact invited you to the New Years Party, the men relaxing, watching again as you slipped back into your seat.

As you both finished your dinner he paid for it all and he kissed your cheek as he left, setting a stack of papers out for you on the bag on your lap discreetly, which you slipped into your bag, as the waiter brought your dessert which you happily ate still eyeing the Men who seemed to grow more irritated by the minute.

  …

  As they watched him leave Dwalin let out a grunt startling the table behind them, “He’s just leaving her here.”

Ori nodded, “At least he paid though.”

The Durins started leaving a few at a time watching as you pulled out your money, Thorin had slipped over dropping some money on the table, smiling at you gently with his sparkling eyes, “Allow me, your date left you here alone?”

You smiled as you slipped your money back in your bag, “It wasn’t a date, and he had to get back to work.”

His eyes lit up as you said it wasn’t a date, “Do you need a ride?”

Your eyes slid over to the emptying table, “You sure you’ll have room?” With a slight smirk.

He chuckled as he offered you his hand, which you accepted and climbed back to your feet, “I’ll throw the boys in the trunk if I have to, Dis is riding with Dwalin and Balin.”

You chuckled as he led you to the door, wrapping your hand under his arm as you got a friendly smile from Thranduil and Legolas who were climbing in their car as Thorin led you to the car being warmed up by his Nephews. As Kili spotted you he jumped out of the front seat and climbed into the back and Thorin opened the door for you and waited as you climbed inside, smirking as he caught the strap of your stocking slip into view as you sat down, before you covered it again. He walked around and climbed in catching a glimpse of Dis watching from the car that was leaving the parking lot, seeing her grabbing Dwalin’s shoulder as she pointed at you before heading back to your place.

Kili leaned forward, “So where’d you find that guy?”

You chuckled, “He’s an old friend.”

Fili leaned against his brother into your view, “So it wasn’t a date?”

“No, not a date.”

Kili smirked, “You met Mother, what did you think?”

You spotted Thorin’s shoulders tense as he remembered him letting her slip past him, “She’s gorgeous, certainly seems to have the Durin looks, I suppose. She’s taller than me, but that’s not uncommon though.”

Thorin, “I’m sorry she slipped past me, don’t feel obligated to come to the party if you don’t want to.”

You giggled, “It wasn’t that bad, not like she ran in there and threw me against the wall or anything.”

Fili, “Wouldn’t put it past her though.”

Kili chuckled, “Ya, she’s set on hooking you to one of us.”

Both, “Mostly Uncle Thorin though.”

Making you giggle again as he grumbled, you caught him glancing at your legs again, admiring how long they looked with your heels on, catching the edge of the thigh highs you had on as your skirt bunched around your thighs eying them hungrily as he fought back another growl at his sister’s antics, you said, “You weren’t kidding then?”

Making his eyes dart up to yours quickly then back to the road, “No I wasn’t”

“So who all is going to be at the party?”

Thorin, “Most of the Durin clan.”

Kili, “And my Tauri.” he blurted out lovingly

Fili, “And I think Boromir is coming as well, along with Ori’s girlfriend.”

You giggled again as a smile slid across your face, “So does your Family all look like the Durin’s I’ve already met, because I’m not sure I can manage a night with a room full of people looking like you all.”

Thorin finally smiled again as he glanced over at you, “Then perhaps it’s best you don’t attend.”

You rolled your eyes and looked out the window next to you as you fought the urge to groan at the thought of a room full of Thorins all watching you with those same piercing eyes, he caught another glimpse of you as you licked your bottom lip still admiring the shade of red that you had on, wondering how you’d managed the night without it smudging, his mind racing at the thought of what he would have you do with those lips of yours to test the endurance of it.

 ..

 As you reached your apartment he got out as you did leaving it running for his Nephews and quickly walking over to join you on the other side and shutting the door for you with a smile.

“You look incredible tonight.”

“Thank you, as do you, and thank you for the ride.”

He smiled down at you speaking in an authoritative growl, “He should have made sure you had one.”

You smirked up at him, “Eowyn agreed to get me on her way back, even if she hadn’t, I have money, and I’m sure with the entire table of you all, there would have been one of you willing to drop me off.”

He smiled again as his eyes slid over you again catching the bumps rise over your skin, “We certainly wouldn’t have let you stay there alone. You should get inside before you freeze. I will see you on Tuesday, we are still on for coffee?” Raising his eyebrows a little.

You smiled again, “Yes, unless you cancel.”

His smirk came back as he leaned in to kiss your cheek, whispering in his low gravely voice, “There’s no risk of that ever happening.” Choosing to gently kiss your cheek again before slowly sliding his hand over the center of your back making the bumps rise across your skin again and making you want to melt into his touch, walking you to the door and opening it for you, “Oh, if you’d like, wear something comfortable, thought we might get in a movie after if you want.”

You smiled up at him making his heart skip as you twisted slightly in a small circle on one foot, resting the other behind you on the toe, “Sounds good, whatever you pick will be good.”

He smiled again as he nodded, “Goodnight.” As he turned and headed back to the car, glimpsing back to see your dress bouncing around you as you headed for the elevator.

 When he climbed back in Kili was back in the passenger seat as Fili leaned over the arm rest both looking at him with huge grins, he raised his eyebrow as his face went stern, “What?”

Both, “So when’s the date?”

He rolled his eyes, “We made plans a week ago for coffee.”

Both, “Ah.”

He raised his finger, pointing it at both of them, “No mention of this to your Mother, it’s not a date, and I don’t need her scaring her off.”

They both chuckled as they pulled back into their seats and buckled in, “Sure Uncle.”

Pt 5

#SnugglingWithThranduil #DinnerWithAragorn #MeetingDis #ThorinSmiles #Thorin x Reader #lotr #hobbit #Thorin x Reader OC #thranduil x reader