there once was a baker, who sold cookies and cakes
who made a good profit off the treats that she bakes
and every weekday, without fail, and the weekends as well,
she’d count up the money from the goods that did sell
but one day she realised, horrified, mad,
that one of her cookies she’d sold had gone bad,
three weeks ago and she’d forgotten to bin it
and now some poor customer will have a poor stomach
‘oh no!’, she cried, ‘it’s the rude one, bad luck!’
and she knew that she’d have to call the customer back
so she tightened her jaw, silenced her inner turmoil,
but she didn’t know that her plan would soon be foiled…
the customer was gone! ‘oh, where could they be?
i must find them, apologise for the stale cookie!’
so she hunted around and she looked for some clues,
she asked those in town and learned all that they knew.
‘that man’, they all said, ‘went to go visit his nan,
but she lives ‘cross the woods where a wolf runs the land,
and this greedy old wolf, i think, have a hunch,
he took this poor man and he ate him for lunch!’
‘oh no!’ said the baker. ‘how terrible, how sad!’
but she wasn’t thinking of the now-eaten man,
she was thinking of that wolf who would now feel funny
with that old stale cookie going ‘round in his tummy!
‘i’ve got to go find him!’ she said, ‘understand,
i’ve got to go tell him to spit out that man!’
and so off she went to the forest at night,
in search of the wolf who ate a man in a bite!
she soon did discover where this wolf lived,
but in order to enter she must bring a gift.
she thought and she thought, and in the end she decided,
to bring a fresh pie at which others delighted.
the wolf crept towards her, about to chow her down,
but oh! an aroma from the bag she’d set down.
he opened it up, enticed by the smell,
and ate it all up, asked for seconds, as well!
so pleased at the gift, he was, so he spit
the man and the cookie from his giant stomach
the baker sighed in relief, the man rubbed his head
and the wolf, too, was happy, because he was well-fed.
the man then got up and said sorry to the cook,
‘i know i was rude to you before, but look,
nothing good comes out of holding petty grudges,
i’ll be better now, or my name’s not tim rogers!’
and the wolf said, ‘what is this delicious meal?
humans taste bland when compared to this meal!
the baker smiled and said, ‘that’s my own special secret,
but come to the bakery and you can have more of it!’
and the baker went home to her house ‘bove the shop,
knowing the wolf nearby would soon stop
to buy another pie, and a cupcake or two,
and the man’s now a regular at the bakery too!
and once he gave a slice to his dear old nan,
she, too, fell in love with those cookies and jams,
she hobbles through the dark woods, with no fear or pain
and if she finds the wolf, he joins on the way.
and now they all live on in harmony forever,
the wolf eats no people, he’s found something better.
the man is not rude anymore, leaves big tips,
and the baker? well, she smiles counting up her profits!
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