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transmascissues · 5 months

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hey i know your post about your mom was mostly just a personal vent, but i have to say, do you realize that also happens with trans girls and their fathers? literally happened to one of my friends. i’m not trying to downplay your experience or something but i found it strange that you seem to think this is something that only affects transmascs

i have one question for you: so fucking what?

i don’t doubt that trans girls have experienced similar things and yeah, that’s bad too, but what the fuck does that have to do with me and the specific things i’m facing as a result of being a trans man? i never said “look at this thing that happens to ONLY trans men and NO ONE ELSE,” i just said “hey, isn’t this thing that happens to a lot of trans men, including myself, fucked up?”

i would also like to point out that what you’re talking about is in fact a different (albeit similar) thing. the way cis people treat trans people can differ dramatically based on the cis person’s gender because their commitment to gender roles is, like, a major part of problem. the specific way a cis mother reacts to her trans son’s transition is often going to be very distinct, while a cis father will likely respond to his trans daughter in a different but equally distinct way.

what i’m talking about is a very specific kind of ownership and control and self-victimization and total lack of boundaries masquerading as love and care and maternal concern that cis women (i would argue white cis women in particular) project onto their transmasc kids when we do literally anything to our bodies. i’m talking about a phenomenon which is closely related to the way moms often pass eating disorders onto their daughters (or children they view as daughters) because they see a body that looks something like theirs and project all of their insecurities and ideals onto it. i’m talking about a form of parental transphobia and projection that’s specific to the dynamic of a cis mother and her child who was “supposed to” be her daughter.

if you’ve never felt that, you’re not even remotely qualified to tell me shit about how i should be talking about that experience, and if you couldn’t recognize that experience when you read my post, i’m guessing you probably haven’t experienced it because the replies to that post made it very clear to me that anyone who has experienced it firsthand immediately knew exactly what i meant.

like, yeah, cis dads also project onto their trans daughters, but are they likely to have a reaction like running away with actual tears streaming down their face? do you expect them to passive aggressively make comments about how sad their kid’s transition makes them, how it’s such a difficult emotional time, how it’s so tragic because their kid’s body was so beautiful before? do you think their go-to transphobic reaction will be weaponizing their emotions? i’m sure there are some dads out there who are like that, but i think we can agree they’re in the minority because that’s not how cis men are taught to react and parents like this tend to be pretty damn committed to following the gender roles they were taught.

and even if i’m wrong and our experiences are exactly the same, let me reiterate that i never said this was an experience exclusive to trans men. all i said is that it happens to us. that’s just a statement of objective fact.

this started in my life when i got my hair cut short for the first time almost a decade ago and it has not stopped since. i’ve watched my mom cry over me changing my name and respond to being asked if my happiness matters more to her than my name by saying “i care about both”, i’ve watched her melt down in a mall over me getting a suit for prom and give me the silent treatment for days after, i’ve heard her plead with me to stop t because it “looks unnatural” and she’s just so “concerned for my health”, i’ve watched her stare at me post-op and say “my poor baby” over and over like she’s looking at my corpse in a casket. i’ve watched her turn herself into the victim of every single aspect of my transition. i’ve had to live with this for 9 years and spent the early years of the pandemic literally locked in a house with it. this has been my entire adolescent and adult life, and the question of if i’ll have to cut her off someday (and maybe never see my cat or my little cousins who i love more than anything in the world ever again as a result) haunts me every single day.

who the fuck are you to tell me how to talk about that?

#i hope you weren’t expecting me to take this in good faith and give a nice measured response #because just so we’re clear you didn’t have a chance in hell of doing anything other than pissing me off #like in case you forgot i am a real person who this is happening to #in what world did you think i’d care about how an anonymous stranger feels about how i describe it when im the one who has to live it #idk man. some of y’all clearly do not see me as an actual person capable of emotion and it shows #also like. using a friend’s experience is wild bc 1) how do you know it was the same if it didn’t happen to you #and 2) would that friend really want you using their experience against another trans person experiencing something similar?#anon hate #ask answered #examples of transandrophobia #transandrophobia #transandromisia #transmisandry #virilmisia #virilphobia #anti transmasculinity #transmascphobia #trans men

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alpaca-clouds · 4 months

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Dungeons & Dragons - Or: Why Capitalism Sucks at Making Money

If this past year managed anything, it managed to get me really into DnD. Before I did not play DnD much, rather going with Shadowrun or (heavily homebrewed) World of Darkness. But with first Honor Among Thieves releasing - and then Baldur's Gate 3 giving me brainworms tadpoles... Yeah, hurray. New hyperfixation unlocked.

But as I started to read through all the lore, but also meta stuff happening around it. And yes, I quickly understood why basically everyone was frustrated with Hasbro and Wizards of the Coast. But I also think, that this betrays one of the big issues with capitalist logic and how it often fails to reach an audience - for the reason I outlined before: capitalists are actually super bad at realizing what works and why, because they only judge based on spread sheets.

And yes, the headline is hyperbolic. But let me explain.

A Community-Based Game

I mean, the biggest scandal of DnD this year was probably the entire thing about the community license. And this is very much something that shows quite well, how bad WotC is at recognizing why DnD works and has worked so long.

DnD centrally has been build around this idea of community. Now, mind you: This community was very, very focused on cis white guys for the longest time, but everybody else just managed to get in there and make their own little bit of community. Which also lead to a lot of homebrew stuff, that at times tackled some issues that the rules themselves did not address at all or not well. The combat wheelchair is probably the best known example of this.

But even outside of marginalized communities... DnD always thrived through the community aspect itself. People self-publishing magazines and adventures for it since the fucking 70s. As well as play sets, dice and what-have-you. DnD was always very much about all this and thrived through it. And now in came WotC saying: "Oh, yeah, actually you will now have to give us a big cut. (The big irony was, how Unity made the same move later on.) The fandom outcry was obviously big, there was a boycot, it worked. And WotC went all:

Of course they basically won the world competition in backpaddling (though again, Unity was a big contender this year as well) and quickly went back on this. But of course there is a problem: When your entire product is so much build around community and your community starts mistrusting you, you got a problem.

And this is basically what happened.

The Audience Problem

There is another problem of course. Financially the DnD movie failed - and I actually think this says a lot about how WotC kinda misunderstands the audience.

Now, there will be people trying to tell you, that given that the movie had great reviews and stuff. But the movie had a production budget of 150 million USD and only earned a bit more than 200 million on worldwide box office. Given that the marketing budget was likely around 30 million, the movie barely broke even.

Of course, part of the reason for it was that it just had a bad release date. It released parallel to the Super Mario movie, which ended up being one of the most successful movies of this year.

A friend of mine could not believe that the movie had financially flopped. They were like: "What the hell? Literally everyone I know who watched the movie went to cinema like three times to see it again." But... Yeah, that is true. But the issue is that these people are a very certain group.

Because lets make one thing clear: The people, who adored the movie so much, that they went to the cinema several times and bought the DVD/BluRay on release... were mostly queer nerds. Because this is the group of people who this movie spoke to.

And let's make this clear: I love the movie for this. I love that it so clearly went for this audience. Because I am part of this audience - and I adore this film.

But basically the movie has a general issue in terms of audience. Because on one hand the movie is too nerdy to have a wider audience appeal of people who had never played DnD, while on the other hand the movie was kinda not nerdy enough to go full force for the nerd audience.

A lot of people in the fandom have instantly sussed out one thing about the movie: "Why doesn't Edgin cast any spells? And why do we see so little of the weirder species?" And part of the reason undoubtedly was budget related. But the other reason is that... well, it is currently a well accepted wisdom in media production that you cannot sell a high-magic story. At least not outside of animated media.

Hence... There is surprisingly little magic being cast in this. And we also do have a mostly human main cast - or why Doric is the most classically pretty tiefling you have seen with her human skin tone and all of that. Because media productions do not trust the audience to accept high magic concepts.

Who is DnD actually for?

Okay, let me talk a bit about DnD 5e - and a good decision, and a bad decision. And how that affected DnD.

Everyone, who is somewhat into DnD probably knows that 5e massively changed the game. With one simple goal: Make it more accessible. Which manifested in several ways.

For one, the game was in some ways made less offensive. Because prior to 5e there was a ton of racism, sexism, queerphobia and ableism inherent to the game rules and times to the game lore. This is just a fact. Things like species that are inherently evil and stuff like that - and also some of the real-life racial coding inherent to some of the species. Removing all that stuff is a good thing. Like amazingly good.

And also, they made the rules a lot more accessible. Before the rules were bogged down with a lot of stuff, that was simplified or removed. Again, this is a good thing.

And this worked. It worked really well. Of course, this was also partly due to stuff like Critical Role and other actual plays like that happening and promoting the game. The player base probably increased ten-fold from what it was before.

Yes, it should also be noted that there is probably a good topic for a study on how formerly nerd-thingies became more and more mainstream during the last 10 years or so, but yes, DnD was one of those things.

But in this there was also a rather bad decision made, which ironically also mirrors what happened with Marvel. And this decision is: Because we want to reach a wider audience, every single thing we release for this has to reach the widest audience possible - rather than allowing that certain things might have a more specific audience.

I am sorry to talk about the MCU here, but it is just such a perfect example of this: The MCU basically made two mistakes. Overwhelming their audience with too many releases. But also not allowing the movies to be for a certain audience, but for the broadest audience possible. A good example is how they dealt with the minority-lead movies. They got directors and at times even writers from that minority - but then basically did not allow them to be too specific and be too critical of, for example, a racist system because that might not go over too well with white mainstream audiences.

Now, WotC did not really do anything like that. But they also went with this idea that everything they officially released should have the broadest possible appeal. Hence the weirdly low-magic approach to the movie, of which I assume that it definitely was an executive decision made.

The fact that the movie resonated so much with the queers more than anyone else was also not intended - at least not from the production company. Like, let's be honest. No, Xenk and Ed were not supposed to be read as romantic. And how appealing the found family trope was, probably was not intented at least on the side of Hasbro (not sure about screenwriters and director).

The Lore Problem

This perfectly connects to one of the big issues that all the franchises going for a broad appeal after being very nerd-focused for so long, run into: The Lore Problem. And this is quite ironic, because I ran into the problem earlier this year as well.

See, as I was writing fanfics for DnD:HAT I quickly ran into the problem that I knew next to nothing about the world of Faerûn. Sure, once upon a time (like between 2007 and 2011, while I was living in Austria with my then-boyfriend, who really was into those games) I played the old games of Neverwinter Nights and Baldur's Gate 1 + 2. But let's be frank: I barely remember shit from those games. And getting to understand what actually happened in the lore between and after... Well, there is just a ton of lore. I mean, people are playing around with this world for literal decades. So, yeah. This can very much be overwhelming for someone getting into it anew. Like, where can someone new even start?

The fact that - at least partly for legal reasons - most of the Actual Plays also do not work with the official lore, rather just using the rules to create their own worlds, obviously adds to this. Even the tables I played on so far always preferred original worlds, because the lore of DnD is just very intimidating.

The one thing that actuall ended up getting me into the lore was BG3, because it left open just the right questions to go into the Forgotten Realms wiki and just look for stuff, before also starting to listen to lore podcasts.

But here is the thing: WotC is also not helping with this issue. Like, they absolutel could create a proper accessible compendium on DnDBeyond that would just allow people to get an overview of the world and the timeline of things happening, maybe go into some of the major factions of the world and such. I mean, heck, they really, really want you to use DnD-Beyond rather than roll20. Yet, in DnD-Beyond I do not even have a monster compendium without paying, which roll20 offers.

Like, sure, WotC, it is okay to lock up the adventure modules behind a paywall, no problem. But if you do give me even the most basic tools to run a campaign, I am gonna use roll20, thank you very much.

But yeah, what WotC should make just more accessible was just: Timeline, important places and the maps (heck, make them interactive, you have the fucking money), maybe also a proper list of the pantheons and factions within the world. Heck, add maybe some inspiration there for what players might want to do within one of the scenarios and then, under this, go and link "hey, we made this one adventure about this, if you are interested!"

Something I did not realize originally was how much freedom the lore still leaves the people. Like, often even the important settings and events are just set-ups for adventures that the characters can have in there. There might be a few novels or comics then, that go into an example of a thing certain established characters like Drizzt or Elminster did during the time, but there is a ton of freedom to explore.

But by basically locking everything up behind a paywall, you will never get people even interested in this kinda stuff.

Because here is the thing: I like my lore. I love lore. I adore lore. But... Without BG3 explaining some stuff and giving me specific questions to ask about it, the lore would have been very inaccessible to me.

Just think of people as... people

Of course among it all there lies the central problem that comes with capitalism running something like this. See, whatever CEOs and shareholders are sitting on those chairs with WotC and Hasbro, they do not see the players as players or the community as a community, but as consumers. Just as they see their employees not as valued constributors, but very exchangable wage slaves.

They do not see the value of the community exchange with stuff like fanmade modules and things. While incorporating a bit of homebrew stuff in DnD Beyond, they are absolutely not interested in the wider market of people just creatively interacting with DnD and making a little bit of money from it. If anything they see those people as potential rivals on the market.

Heck, they have issues seeing things like Critical Role or Roll20 as the enrichment for the franchise that either are - but more like potential rivaling forces and money they have lost.

And their employees? Yeah, as we learned... Most people who from the side of WotC helped the Larian team with BG3 have been let go by now. Because WotC and Hasbro do not care for their employees, they only care about having some numbers going up.

I fully admit it. Apart from Buying BG3 and the money I have invested in anything DnD:HAT related, the only money that WotC got from me, was some of the novels I bought on Audible.

But here is the thing: WotC is doing a shite job at wanting me to invest into any of their stuff. Partly because those modules I would like to have are not available anywhere anyway - and partly because... As I said, give me a reason to get something, rather than just expecting me to randomly get something.

And mind you, this is no slight against any of the people just working for WotC. This is mostly about shareholder and executive decisions made. Stuff that basically just sees either their employers or the players just as a ressource to exploit, rather than... people.

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a-faggot-with-opinions · 9 months

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I think I just had a realization about the term "TME" being used with regards to only sapphic/lesbian spaces and how that relates to transmasculine erasure.

All people who aren't cis or gender conforming experience systemic oppression due to being non-cis or GNC. However, specifically in homosexual spaces, this oppression applies differently depending on whether someone is transmasc, transfem, or something else. The "talking about transandrophobia is transmisogynistic" crowd likes to focus overly on sapphic and lesbian spaces, entirely ignoring achilleans and gay men. And that makes sense, because that group is mostly made up of transfems and trans women! It is okay to not mention transmascs when you're talking specifically about transfem issues! However the issue arises when they deny the oppression that comes with being an AFAB homosexual man(-adjacent person).

Often, transandrophobia deniers who are transfem will claim that transmascs are privileged over transfems specifically by using the dynamics in lesbian communities as evidence. Though transmasc lesbians experience systemic oppression too (butchphobia), transmasc lesbians are incredibly privileged over transfem lesbians when it comes to intracommunity dynamics. Then, transandrophobia deniers will leave it at that and not even consider transmasc issues, labeling us as "TME" and contributing to our erasure. One example which shows this, and that I've discussed at length in another post, is a transandrophobia denier saying this:

As I've said before on this blog, this type of statement screams "I am extremely uneducated on transmasculine erasure." By claiming that TEHMs simply care about gatekeeping their communities, you're agreeing with their rhetoric. TEHMs are, literally, the male version of transphobic lesbians. Full stop. They are exactly as dangerous and actually a lot more common than transphobic lesbians, and this has been supported by many surveys.

So why this long digression into talking about TEHMs? Because the experience of being transmasc in a gay men's space is more similar to being transfem in a lesbian space than it is to being transmasc in a lesbian space. This is because we as people who were assigned a different gender at birth from the gender that most people in our respective queer spaces are or were assigned at birth face many of the same issues, and trying to apply a TMA/TME framework to the oppression that we face only works when we look at sapphic spaces because GNC cis men and AMAB enbies in queer men's spaces actually have privilege over us AFAB people.

In fact, many TEHMs are accepting of, and will date, feminine nonbinary people who were AMAB. None of this makes sense if we apply a framework that centers transmisogyny. Instead, it's helpful instead to see transmisogyny and transandrophobia as two sides of the same coin: both are an intersection of transphobia and misogyny, but they apply to different groups of people and affect us in different ways.

I guess my main point here is that centering transmisogyny in discussions of trans liberation and trans-inclusive feminism will only continue to perpetuate transmasculine erasure and transandrophobia, and denying that this happens makes you, in fact, part of the problem.

#star speaks #transandrophobia #anti transmasculinity #transmasc erasure #queer discourse #long post #this is your brain on tehm talking points #tma/tme

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fizzy-tizzy · 23 days

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Headcanons for all the survivors gender/sexuality

Wilson- Just Kinda decided he was gonna be a boy when he was like 8 and his dad was so desperate for an heir that didn’t want him dead to rights he just kinda let it happen. would fuck anyone but at the same time is not interested at all

Willow- Butch-ish but more in a tomboy kinda way. genuinely likes wearing skirts and more feminine clothing but doesn’t really think she deserves to? if that makes sense? (She doesn’t really feel like a genuine legit girl) hardcore lesbian.

Wolfgang- Very traditionally masculine but in the “My job is to protect and take care of everyone” and not the “im a man so I can do whatever I want” type way. Gay but could totally be in a lavender relationship/marriage and have no problems w/ it

WX-78- Born a cis female, figured out early on that wasn’t right but couldn’t change it until they were an adult. Transed their gender but then figured out being a male wasn’t right either. eventually found someone who felt similarly and abandoned their flesh for the machine. solidly aroace. they’re triple a (agender, asexual, aromantic) just like batteries

Wickerbottom- cis female and “traditionally” feminine, has never felt the need to explore or question it. Used to be married to a man who was secretly gay and looking for someone similarly emotionally unavailable. He has since passed but left wicker a small fortune so. alls well that ends well ig

Wes- kind of a stereotypical femme twink. The kinda gay whos loud and proud and will hit you with a brick if you have a problem with that. feels obligated to help the others try and figure themselves out- esp the ones who are more in denial abt it

Maxwell- I think the idea that max is trans and Jack is cis and they turned out looking the exact same is hilarious. Technically the only ppl who knows he’s trans are jack and charlie- their parents just think he’s a masculine woman and everyone else knows him as a man. Bi and so so weak for bears and gently bossy women.

Wendy- Non-binary but still in the process of realizing it. Does not give a single shit abt romance but would totally be qpp with Webber once they know what that means.

Woodie- Probably Not Cis but has too much religious trauma to even dare questioning himself. He’s like JUST accepted the fact that he’s gay (still thinks hes going straight to hell but we’re working on that) so ynknow baby steps. baby steps. Deffo has a shit ton of body dysphoria due to the wereforms tho

Webber- Since spiders work a lil different in the constant (probably more like bees) there are like three genders Webber could potentially see themselves as. Drone, warrior, and queen. During his childhood he thinks of himself mostly as a drone but as he gets older and his sway over the spiders increases they’ll shift into seeing themselves as more of a queen. But other that he’s pretty much whatever non-spider gender is most convenient. Definitely bi.

Wigfrid- her gender is… strange. What she outwardly presents is her character’s way of presenting herself so ig I see her as kinda fluid? Idk valiant-valkyrie if ur reading this you can probably do a better job of explaining it. you are the defacto wigfrid authority. Definitely lesbian but once again will do whatever the role requires

Winona- Solidly butch lesbian. Definitely a caretaker and a protector but in the butch kinda way and not the femme kinda way. if that makes sense.

Wurt- Butch but hasn’t really realized it yet. does not think human genders apply to her bcs she’s a merm and will 100% be king when she grows up. baby lesbiab. her and wilba’s eventual union shall bring peace to the pig/merm kingdoms once and for all

Wortox- human genders do not apply to him. They are whatever is most convenient at the time. Fluid like loki and bugs bunny.

Walter- if xenogenders existed back then he would totally be like pupgender/buggender. Non-binary but has no problem being called a boy/man. Would be fine with any prns but people have only ever used he/him for him. Probably going to be a monsterf*cker when he grows up.

Wormwood- He is plant. Plants have sexes but no genders and wormwood is intersex anyway but they kinda just chose the first option presented to him once he found the others. Loves all but has absolutely no interest or idea about non-plant reproductive activities.

Walani- Yknow that “as a girl who’s a gross dude men who are fancy ladies are my best friends”? Yeah that’s her and Warly. she’s the emotional support golden retriever to warly’s high-strung cheetah. Lesbian but like. endearingly loser lesbian who’s only ever smooth when she’s not trying to be.

Warly- as mentioned before he is very much a guy who is a fancy lady. Would probably do drag if he had the chance and would 100% be the baddest bitch who makes all the men question their sexuality. Gay and european.

Wanda- doesn’t have time for all that gender questioning bullshit she just wants to kiss women.

Wheeler- Solid futch, leans more feminine or masculine depending on the situation. Woman-leaning bisexual, has probably fucked someone wife and inadvertently caused a divorce.

Woodlegs- pretty solidly cis male but 100% an embarrassing old gay grandpa. Doesn’t know much abt the terminology but is incredibly supportive and was definitely a homewrecker back in the day. Probably got out of at least one arrest by seducing the naval officer meant to bring him in

Wilba- high femme and definitely a baby lesbian. I do really like the idea of her being trans just because why not so why not. She and wurt are fat femme x fat butch once they grow up

Wagstaff- born as a girl but realized he hated it and made attempts to transition early on. Eventually ran away to America to fully transition. Non-binary too but hasn’t realized it yet and just thinks that everyone feels weird when someone calls them mr or sir. men-liker and old man yaoi certified

Wilbur- yes I’m doing the monkey. Gender is a strange concept to him, so he just kinda calls himself male bcs apparently he is? He doesn’t really understand it but it seems to be pretty important in human society so he’ll do it if it means he gets respected as an actual person and not just some sideshow.

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idiotic-b-gilson · 2 months

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The Prank Theory: Or, Why Toby won't make an explicit announcement that Kris' pronouns are they/them despite that obviously being canon.

Disclaimer: people who use they/them for Kris are NOT the butt of the joke here. Although calling it a prank might be a little misleading to begin with, you'll see why.

I know for a fact, judging from my dashboard, that I am not alone in being mad at people misgendering the humans of Undertale and Deltarune (although, I will admit I used to be part of the problem up until quite recently). And we all wish for Toby to just go out and publicly announce that Kris, Frisk, and Chara use they/them only, that Mad Mew Mew is canonically transfem, etc., just to stop all the misgendering. It would certainly be nice and very helpful for the LGBTQ community. However, after giving it some thought, I've come to the conclusion that it most likely cannot happen, and the reason why is the Prank Theory. Treat it as an explanation, but not an excuse.

I came up with Prank Theory over something that's completely unrelated to the above, funnily enough. You see, I have this headcanon that Asriel Dreemurr is not cisgender. I'm not entirely sure what his gender is, but he's not cis male for sure. And I've seen a variety of different takes on this concept. For example, AUs like (Ask) Fallen Royalty by @starlightshore present Asriel as having transitioned in a more feminine direction ((A)FR specifically describes her gender as feminine nonbinary). Others still write Asriel (chiefly the Deltarune one) as transgender male (I've mostly seen that take in NSFW fanfics on AO3, which is a shame cuz it has great potential beyond that. Please tell me where I can find more). Other others still, like my beloved mutual @sukifoof, have proposed that Asriel might be agender. And, let me be clear about something: those are all great ideas, and I love them. But I started to wonder, which of these ideas is the closest to canon? Like, if we also factor in authorial intent, which of these options would fit under it, and which ones wouldn't? That was when I came up with Prank Theory, as a way to kind of imagine at least one aspect of said authorial intent.

Spoiler alert, according to Prank Theory any kind of transfeminine Asriel is incompatible with canon, but again I want to make it clear that that doesn't mean I think they're "wrong" or "bad" or anything like that, and I want to reiterate my endorsement of writing Asriel this way. Besides, my theory could be completely wrong, so...

So, after all that stuff, what does the Prank Theory actually say? Well, in summary: Undertale and Deltarune are some of the most "woke" video games ever made, but conservatives and reactionaries don't seem to have realized that yet, funnily enough. Now, calling it a prank is a wee bit misleading, since it implies that tricking right-wingers into loving a video game with a very progressive setting and message was at least part of what Toby intended. And I don't believe that's the case. He simply makes video games he wants to make, and they just happen to reflect his views on the world, and these views just happen to fly over the heads of some people.

This in and of itself would probably not make it a huge problem for Toby to put in one of his newsletters, or even in an X (as in, former Twitter) post, a correction regarding the genders of his characters. However it does start to become a problem when you factor in that the UTDR community has hundreds of thousands of people in it (although as of the March 2024 it might be a rather liberal estimate), and many of them would be quite pissed off if the video game they like had "suddenly" "gone woke" (ignorant of the fact that both it, and its main creator have been openly "woke" the whole time). And that is a problem in the current environment, because it means that Toby, as well as other people on the UTDR dev team, would be at a significant risk of hate and harassment, which in the Year of Our Lord 2024 could lead to Angel knows what.

On a more cynical capitalist (and much more speculative) level, attracting political controversy this way could sour Toby's relationship with big video game companies which have (as far as I know) played an important part in why Toby's got basically unlimited resources to work on the game of his fever dreams. They saw the widespread, universal acclaim that UT, DR1 and DR2 received, and drew the conclusion that DR3-4 (and the future chapters) will also get a similar reception, and they will get great returns no matter how much money they pour into it. This belief could be shaken if Toby attracted the ire of his transphobic fans by correcting their misgendering of his characters, and thus limiting the reach Chapters 3 and 4 would otherwise have (but again, this is pure speculation, I'm not an economist, nor do I know how much companies like Nintendo have actually invested in Deltarune. So I could be, like, way off).

And that is, in the end, why I believe Toby Fox will not make a statement regarding the canon gender of any UTDR character, at least not while Deltarune is still in development. After it's finished I think he might feel free enough to take that step. But we'll have to see.

Now, I don't know if I'm right. I feel pretty confident in my own theory, but there's a good chance I missed something. So, if I did, please lemme know. In the meantime, let's hope Toby will disprove my theory soon and set things right. And I'll see you around.

#gilson originals #text post #undertale #deltarune #utdr #long post #prank theory #the prank theory #toby fox

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slasher-male-wife · 1 year

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Slashers with an s/o who is taller than them

I saw someone else do this awhile back so I thought I too would do this for the shorter slashers. I myself am a very short man and I am often thinking about how tall slashers are compared to me and I started to wonder if the roles were reversed. I'm also doing this because I feel comfortable enough to break away from the sterotypical reader. But I chose some shorter slashers for this just because I feel like it's more realistic that someone reading this is like 6'2 than them being over 6'9. But you never know. So to make a base for how tall I'm saying the reader is I'd put it at 6'0 minimum.

Includes: Herbert West, Lester Sinclair, Billy Lenz, Corey Cunningham, and Og Michael Myers

Warnings: Slashers being a little mean, disscusions of insecureties, mentions of other people being rude, some mentions of an afab reader but for the most part reader is completely gn, brief murder mention in Michael's section

Herbert West

He's below average height for a cis man by two inches but he honestly doesn't mind that too much. He's been teased about his height before but if he's being honest he's never taken it to heart.

He is trans and he did used to feel very dysphoric about not being as tall as cis men but he quickly realized that cis men can be short too and that he doesn't have to be super tall to be a valid man.

As for you being five or more inches taller than him he doesn't care too much but might get annoyed if he has to call you in so you can grab something off a high shelf or for you to do something for him that he can't do.

If you're afab than he'll talk about how cool he thinks it is that you're so much taller than average for American afab people. He'll go on about how in nature it's typically the larger sex that holds more power because of sexual dimorphism.

He's just trying to say that he sees you as a strong person who can do great things in his weird Herbert autistic way.

Lester Sinclair

Compared to his brothers and most other cis men he's short. He's 5'6 and a little ashamed of it. I feel like he thinks that he can't live up to his brothers in his parents eyes so he's just internalized a lot of hatred for his height.

He doesn't let it effect him too much now because he makes up for it in his strength. I know he looks skinny but he has to be secretly buff to be able to throw a deer a decent distance.

Now he like Herbert won't super mind the difference in height but he won't appreciate you making jokes about it or him having to admit that he's a lot shorter than you.

After a few months of dating he'll open up about how he doesn't feel super masculine and how you being so much taller than him makes him feel weaker in a way. I'm sure with comforting he'll work on unpacking a lot of those feelings and hopefully will move on from it.

But if you're insecure about your height he'll be surprised about it. He understands if it makes you feel less feminine but he'll talk about how a lot of beautiful feminine people and women are tall too. He'll mostly talk about models and athletes but he's still trying.

If his brothers ever poke fun at you for being tall he'll be quick to defend you. But if you're taller than all of them I'm sure them being mean won't be a huge problem.

Billy Lenz

Billy really first noticed your height when he first saw you. He'd probably mention how tall you are and call you a "Big piggy" or something to go along with your height.

Billy is also 5'6 so he's below the average height of a cis man. But he doesn't super care because like with Lester he's probably secretly buff. He has that random autism strength thing that some people get.

But when you finally meet face to face you might be a little surprised to find that Billy is shorter than you. I feel like he can handle a little ribbing about how short he is compared to you. But if you go too far with it he'll probably call you mean.

Will steal your clothes and wear them. Especially if you force him to shower and wash his clothes. How the girls in the sorority didn't smell Billy from miles away I'll never know.

Corey Cunningham

Corey is at the average height for cis men. He's pretty secure in his height but I feel like he's insecure about other parts of himself. I know for sure his mother (rest in piss) has drilled so many insecurities into his head.

But when he meets you he's no noticing how "short" he really is. He's close in height to Michael but having someone who's well above average height around him all the time will kinda make him feel bad. If you're a fem presenting person too he'll feel even worse about it because he has issues with his masculinity (totally not self projecting here at all)

He'll keep this to himself but will eventually open up about it to you and this is probably a moment you'll really see how bad his mental health is. Him talking about this with you will lead to lots of physical affection and maybe some crying on his part.

Please tell him that his height is perfectly fine and that he's not less of a man for being "short". Because 5'9 isn't actually short.

Over time, with your help he'll feel a lot better about his height. Just don't really tease him too much about you being taller than him.

Michael Myers

Even if you are just 6'0 and only two inches taller than him he'll be salty about it. He feels less like menacing or scary because he can't tower over you and intimidate you.

He'll probably soak up being taller than you when you're sitting or on your knees doing something while he's standing.

If you tease him at all he's going to get violent. Not to you but you'll probably hear about a 5 person massacre on the news later that night, so don't tease him about his height at all.

Eventually will learn to deal with the fact that you're just taller than him but will still be a little salty and will want you to be sitting down or lower yourself when he's in a bad mood.

#herbert west #herbert west x reader #lester sinclair #lester sinclair x reader #lester sinclair x you #lester sinclair x y/n #billy lenz #billy lenz x you #billy lenz x reader #billy lenz x y/n #corey cunningham #corey cunningham x reader #corey cunningham x you #michael myers #michael myers x y/n #michael myers x you #slasher x y/n #slasher x reader #slasher fanfiction

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devoted-chaste · 1 year

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The end of devoted-chaste

I probably won't be posting any more captions.

I started seeing a gender identity therapist and eventually realized that I'm trans (AMAB trans femme). Lol. Definitely not all men who like chastity are trans women in denial, but it turns out I was.

Since I admitted this to myself, my mental health has gotten a LOT better. I've struggled with porn addiction since I was a teenager (yes, including chasity captions), and that problem has basically evaporated. I used to NEED to come on here and masturbate, but that's all gone now. I feel so free.

Again, lots of cis men struggle with porn addiction too, and I'm not saying that they're trans in denial. What we have in common is using porn to cope with a difficult situation somewhere else in life.

Over my many years on NSFW Tumblr I've seen a lot of my favorite blogs deactivate. So, I think this is more common than we realize: using porn to cope, it becomes an addiction, binge, purge, deactivate. The whole guilt/shame cycle.

If you are going through a really hard time, and using porn to cope, I really feel for you, because I've been there for so many years.

I can't tell you what to do about it, because it totally depends on your individual circumstance.

But I can say, for me:

Purging my porn never worked. It just made me collect more when I relapsed.

I was using porn to avoid confronting something difficult. Once I confronted that thing, and started working through it, my addiction went away.

I thought therapy was a stupid, self-indulgent thing rich people did to rationalize their guilt. I was wrong about that. It's helped me lot. However, I do not recommend BetterHelp. Try to find a therapist through your health insurance or psychologytoday.com.

I still think chastity and male submission is great!

I kept up posting for a while because I think men (and boys) in chasity are cute, and should be encouraged. I hope you all find partners who accept and love you for who you truly are. Just remember that real chastity is not about your kinks or your cock or your pleasure ;) it's about collaborating with your partner to mold you into a better lover for HER, even if she is mostly vanilla at heart.

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theliterarywolf · 2 years

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Honestly, as a writer I've noticed how this weird "we're gonna rebrand you character" thing has also been going on with clearly labelled characters. I mean, you will have openly stated BI characters be claimed as lesbian. I personally have a few gay/bi male characters, and several people just tell ME the AUTHOR that they're actually trans. I've also had clear trans characters, mostly my trans men characters, labelled as BUTCH LESBIANS?? You can't even blame that on translation and localisations.

I think it can be argued that the current translation/localization problem can be tracked back to people like you've described, i.e.: people who think they know characters better than a creator and feel entitled to re-label them or rewrite them to 'fit better'.

Hell, I was skimming through some tweets about the recent Persona re-release announcement and most of them were bemoaning the reveal of who's going to be in charge of translation/localization. Her name escapes me but the main screencaps from her that stood out in my mind were her whinging about the recent Seven Seas 'let's turn a crossdressing cis guy into a transwoman' debacle with "I know the translator and they did their homework with reading future volumes and consulting trans people to make it as accurate as possible~!"

Which just makes me want to ask her "Alright, bet. Did they consult the ACTUAL?! FUCKING?! AUTHOR?!"

And her whining about how she wishes that Japanese people would remove a certain phrase from their collective vocabulary.

The phrase, of course, more or less translating to 'unmarriable woman', which I'm pretty sure has been hurled her way more than a few times with her shenanigans.

I just... And this also goes for people who make 'adaptations' of foreign media... Wish with all of my being that these people would realize that their jobs aren't to rewrite things, just translate them into another language/media.

Just because they're also the people who try to step all over authorial cadence doesn't mean that that responsibility should change.

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colorisbyshe · 1 year

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I do think it's funny that whenever the muddy remains of ace discourse float before my eyes, it's always something like "Trans people are being attacked now more than ever, which is why we need to STICK TOGETHER! Infighting is tearing us apart when we should be standing together!"

And it's like... the irony is wholly missed.

Yes, LGBT people (mostly trans people but cis LGB people, too) are being attacked right now. Which is why advocating that we divert time, money, and any other resources (even just mental bandwidth) on asexuality and aromanticism is wasteful and harming the cause. Because, notably, aces and aros aren't under attack right now.

There are no LGBT-specific resources needed for the interpersonal hardships aces an aros are having (because that's what y'all are facing--individuals being cruel to you on individual levels). An oppressor (cishet aces, cishet aros, cis aroaces) DEMANDING resources from those they oppress, AS they are being attacked by other groups, is just furthering said oppression.

Everyone is right. We shouldn't be wasting energy on ace discourse. We shouldn't be wasting energy on asexuality or aromanticism at all. Aces, aros, get your shit together and fix your own problems. And then when you realize that only takes 5 minutes of fixing boundaries with the people around you, spend the rest of your time being better allies to LGBT people. That is the ONLY way you can actually help the community.

Advocating for ace and aro inclusion while LGBT people are facing violence and legislative discrimination (which is violent, I realize I'm being redundant) is the infighting you guys complain about so much. YOU are the derailment. You are the problem. It's you.

#ace discourse i guess

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gamblegun · 2 months

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just wanted to pop in and say that i appreciate your blog, it has given me so much comfort, but i will totally understand and respect you if you delete it. im sorry for all of the hate you've gotten and had to see.

i've been really struggling with how trans men are treated currently and our historical erasure/non-inclusion lately. if i can be completely candid i feel like i no longer belong under the label "trans" and it honestly causes me discomfort. but i'm not cis either. i won't ever go off of T or be a woman or anything like that. i love my body but i don't love being in this community. i honestly can't even connect with the flag anymore. i tried but this recent outpouring of hate has made me realize how forced i felt.

i don't belong and at this point i dont want to mold myself into someone who does. i don't want to be the kind of person that antitransmasc trans people begrudgingly tolerate. i desperately wish i had some kind of third word or third space outside of all of this where i could just exist as a man. i don't care what i am "technically". i just want to be a man and to be left alone about it, not "cis or trans" but Just Some Guy.

reading your thoughts has made me feel less alone as I struggle with this mentality. i haven't found an answer and i doubt anyone will propose or make anything like what i want. but i just wanted to sincerely say. thank you. i would unironically send you $10 if I could (all the spare change I have right now.)

i may privately save some of your posts to re-read when i feel isolated and unheard. if that's not alright please feel free to enforce that boundary and i will respect it.

Hey, first of all I'm sorry you're going through that. I'm glad that my blog has brought some comfort to you, and I hope that wherever you end up and however you decide to conceptualize your identity, you find it fulfilling and peaceful. It's tough rn, I have trouble walking away from this discussion, especially since it tends to jump scare me when I'm engaging with fandom stuff, but a couple months break made me feel better, so I'd suggest setting it down and doing something you enjoy instead if you can. However, I know it isn't really all that simple since a lot of this pertains to irl problems, even just general transmasc isolation, so no judging if you struggle with disengaging. I haven't officially decided to delete this blog, it was mostly a vent post tbh, but feel free to save posts. I have long accepted that whatever I'm sending out into the internet will exist somewhere forevermore lol.

I currently haven't set up anything that I feel like is anonymous enough for my Inflammatory Opinions Blog, and even though I am very open to receiving money lol, I wouldn't want to take your last ten bucks. I'd rather you get a treat for yourself. Personally, I got myself a slice of tres leches cake after work today, it was delicious.

#asks #anons #idk wishing the beat for you anon #honestly I've been learning how to deeply enjoy masculinity and masculine things and that's been making me feel connected with my manhood #maybe you can explore your masculinity in a more enjoyable way though that?#instead of the community #I always feel incredibly presumptive giving any advice #*best #I relate to wanting to be Just a Man OP #I used to think I'd never go dull stealth but as I have progressed in my transition I understand it now #it's the only way to be treated normally even by your allies #*full

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transmascissues · 5 months

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I cannot thank you enough for your posts about top surgery. I'm hoping to get mine in a couple years. Your updates are really comforting to me, even (maybe especially) the bad stuff because it makes me feel more prepared. I hope your recovery keeps going well!

On another note, how did you decide whether to keep your nipples or not? I like how chests look with and without them, so it's hard to choose

for me there were a few factors that led me to go nipless:

the biggest thing was that when i imagined my body post-op, i naturally always saw it without nipples. that was just what felt right when i thought about how it would look — i didn’t even have to think about it, that’s just what came to mind. i figured, if i’m automatically picturing myself like that, that’s probably a good indication of what i would be happiest with.

i’ve also always had sensory issues related to my nipples. i basically wore a sports bra constantly, including when i slept, because i hated the feeling of loose fabric touching them and moving against them. so if i had kept my nipples, i would’ve ended up with either no sensation or more discomfort, not anything positive.

i really didn’t want to deal with the healing process for nipple grafts. my skin is super sensitive and finicky, so if anyone would be almost guaranteed to have problems with graft healing, god only knows it would be me. i also know i’m more prone to infection than most people, so avoiding the part of the surgery that has the highest chance of infection seemed like a good plan. on top of all that, i’m also a huge baby about having to touch any sort of injury on my body (just putting moisturizer on my mostly healed incisions was something i had to work up to), so i knew doing the graft care would be difficult for me too.

i know that i can be super picky about the way things look, especially when it comes to things like spacing and symmetry. so if i had gotten nipple grafts, i think it’s super likely that i would’ve ended up feeling like they were put in the wrong place or being bothered by any asymmetry in how they healed. obviously i wanted to pick the kind of surgery that was the most likely to give me results i would be fully satisfied with, so getting grafts despite knowing i’d probably end up nitpicking them for years to come just seemed silly.

i honestly really love the idea of having a chest that’s visibly different from a typical cis man’s chest. the goal of my transition has never been to look cis and i take a lot of pride in being recognizably trans, so having a kind of surgery that isn’t just trying to imitate what i would look like if i were cis was really appealing to me.

going without grafts is just cheaper, so given all of the other reasons i didn’t want grafts, there was just no reason for me to spend extra money on them. i want a few extra hundred dollars in my bank account way more than i want nipples.

and in hindsight, i genuinely couldn’t be happier with my decision. when i look at my chest, even now while it’s still not fully healed, it looks just like how i always imagined i would look with a flat chest and feels like the most natural thing in the world.

if you’re having trouble deciding which you like better, i would try just closing your eyes and imagining both on your body. this was one thing i did if i saw someone with grafts whose results i really liked and felt uncertain in my decision, because what i always ended up realizing was that no matter how good they looked on other people, it felt super weird imagining them on myself. in fact, most of the time i struggled to really even picture it at all.

you could also try gathering a bunch of pictures of both types of results and seeing how you feel about all of them. maybe when you look at the results with grafts, there’s only a few that you feel like you would be dissatisfied with, but when you look at results without grafts, there are a lot more that you probably wouldn’t want. or maybe it’s the other way around. like i said, you’re going to want to go with the kind of surgery you’re mostly likely to be happy with, so if you seem to be more critical of one kind of surgery’s results than the other, that can help guide your choice.

and if you really don’t feel any differently about them, consider the other factors: how do you feel about the healing process? is sensation in your nipples something you find pleasure in and would consider trying to preserve? what does the difference in cost look like for you and how important is that to you? how important is it to be able to pass as cis if necessary? and so on. your decision might end up being made based on something other than pure aesthetics and that’s totally okay.

#top surgery adventures #ask answered #top surgery #trans man #transmasc

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happysadyoyo · 8 months

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can i ask you something? i dont know how to word it without coming off offensive however i am curious as to what trans men think about manhood as a concept. i consider myself to be pro-trans rights but as I've learned more about gender and sex, I've started to interpret male/female binaries as being inherently rape culture compliant (not the individuals who partake in gender/sex as a construct, just the construct itself like as a concept). my question is i understand the whole concept of positive masculinity but also i genuinely cannot come up with any set of qualities that are inherently and only masculine (also have the same problem with feminine qualities). like every man (not just trans, cis too) who wants to deconstruct masculinity ends up sounding a little sexist to me because i just do not know how something like idk "protectiveness" can be seen as only masculine. the way i view gender (and sex) honestly is mostly as a relic of the past but i dont know if this line of thinking is transphobic or not. bcuz i dont want trans people to not exist or not be trans, i welcome it while humanity is in this transitional period but i also think that gender neutrality is/should be the norm. i hope this wasnt offensive or anything, you dont have to respond or anything i just would like to know more i guess and understand better.

Well, luckily I'm able to read things in good faith, regardless of the actual words used. It's hard to discuss things sometimes without coming across as a dolt, especially if you're struggling with a concept as complex as gender identity.

I've been going back and forth on how to reply to this because I could like. Respond with a detailed breakdown but I'm not sure it'll help you, not really.

Because look at how you write. You're coming at this from like this inherent idea that men as the villains. Rape culture is a particular tell, as rape culture focuses on women as victims and minimizes/erases male victims. Meanwhile, since 2008, when I first became truly aware of how often women are victims of assault and harassment, the statistics on male victims have been slowly creeping up to meet female statistics. Rape culture is also a phrase I personally find adjacent to SWERF rhetoric, as they have this idea that all sex work is inherently rape, regardless of the actual autonomy of the women (never the men) in the situation.

You also focus on how masculinity and men deconstructing gender come across as sexist, with little thought to how women are just as sexist when it comes down to it. There are a lot of problems within feminism, and it's something we see clearly as they constantly have to redefine what a woman is as they acknowledge (or refuse to acknowledge) the different experiences of womanhood.

I'm not blaming you for this. Feminism makes dissecting womanhood and villainizing manhood the default for almost all discussion, and there's been a lot of work done to allow for a diverse array of women to exist in the world. Masculinity and manhood though, it's hard to pull it apart from the villainization that's been done to it. Because honestly, it's easier to demonize men than it is to deal with the fact the reality that the true villain is the very societal framework we exist in (capitalism).

I realize I'm probably not making all that much sense right now. But while I largely agree with you that we are heading down the long and arduous path of decoupling the idea of gender entirely from existence, becoming something we may choose for ourselves rather than something given to us at birth, I disagree with how your thought patterns betray your current biases.

Trans men, and indeed men at large, are not a monolith, nor are women or nonbinary people or agender or genderqueer identities. We are all at the faults of whatever framework we approach it from, and largely the group I am part of speaks from a very Western idea of gender. The fun part, though, is deciding what your gender means to you. Which is why I do see myself as a protector, very stereotypical, but I love glitter and silly and goofy bright musicals and magical girl stuff. I don't wear skirts or dresses, but maybe I'll pick a romper. And I work very very hard to see more than just my side of a story and don't try to make a list of "what is wo/man" cause honestly, I don't see the point.

This is my positive masculinity. I wonder what my followers see as theirs.

#transandrophobia #transgender #transsexual #transmisogyny #trans man #nonbinary #exorsexism #trans woman #agender #genderqueer #idk what else to tag this is I'm due in class

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manstrans · 9 months

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someone said on that post that trans men’s identities will be seen and respected by the majority

what world are these people living in

people are just outright denying transphobia exists as a whole at this point by acting like only one kind of trans people get it.

i guess any suicidal trans mascs need to man up and not make such a big deal. i guess any of us who went through that were deluding ourselves into thinking that society will reject us and that we may end up abandoned by families. all my family members were quick to get to call me a guy.

none of them ever accused me of saying anything perverted that I never said when I came out to my little cousin. or harassed me with my dead name. told me i was tied to my bones and when they dig me up in the future they would say i am a woman. that would just be mild discomfort though really if that did happen

getting harassed online, being called an ugly woman or a dyke or a deluded little girl (adults or not) all results in said mild discomfort. it is very easily brushed aside at the end of the day. it has no impact on mental health for people to say your top surgery scars make you look like frankenstein’s monster. people do not think a “beautiful woman” is being lost when trans mascs transition. because if people hate women, they would be totally fine with the idea of one “abandoning it”. instead of staying as pretty women that aren’t too much gnc. because a man doesn’t want to be with someone who looks like a lesbian

trans mascs never find struggle trying to get reproductive care because they are not being taken seriously. or ever had cases where doctors were late to diagnosing cancers due to this as well. because putting M down would mean anything to do with differing sex organs from cis men would not be ignored. that this is not the case for every trans person. that we do not have the issue in common of facing transphobia, and in this the shared experience of cissexism as well, in medical spheres

trans mascs never get misdiagnosed with borderline personality disorder when psychs misgender us as woman and think us being trans is the “identity disturbance” symptom. this doesn’t get any resulting impact from ableism, as personality disorders then will get you branded as a doomed person by many psychs.

people never try to fear monger trans mascs into thinking tesosterone is going to turn you into a violent, angry brute. the show The L Word never perpetuated this idea to millions of mostly cis queer women watching.

Boys Don’t Cry isn’t based off a true story. No trans masculine person can ever be rape victims as well. Or if they were, the perpetuator would never bring up the person being trans masculine as a reason.

i never saw terfs talking about correctively raping trans mascs back into lesbians

homophobia is faced by both gay men and lesbians. if anyone said gay men never facehomophobia i would ask them if they actually learned our history. or only snippets

if told that is not the same, I think they should look up Lou Sullivan for the intersection of being trans masc and gay. ask some trans mascs stories about going into bath houses and what happened when accused of being women in there. that this never led to anxiety over a consensual sexual interaction in being accused of rape for “tricking” a gay man into having sex with a “straight woman”? the trans panic defense ever comes up as a known concern in these cases

alright yeah the sarcasm is evident here.

just how do they not realize that implying that trans mascs do not experience transphobia with this is the actual terminally online take? holy shit.

either that or they get to live in a more generally progressive city and not a white suburb in the US. while also being not white. btw you don’t have any reason to think any of these problems may be emphasized if you are brown or black.

any response to this about accusing us of biological essentialism is victim blaming. what is being described are the consequences of biological essentialism that we both endure. we cannot ignore its existence. I wish we could. but transphobes won’t let us. because we challenge the fact and show that it isn’t true

YEAH I just read through this and like. everything in it. people in these echo chambers think a few snappy lines outweigh our lived experiences but it doesn't work that way at all

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positively-mine · 3 months

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Heya^^ I saw how your shop is open and I'd like to order a chocolate cake and a medium lemonade(just some regular relationship hcs^^) The fandom I'd like order my cake from is from BSD please^^

☾Ok some things about myself (so so so sorry if it's too much/long) Ok so for starters my name is Kristina but closer friends call me Kris, Cis fem - Capricorn - infj

☾Appearance wise I'm on the shorter side and have a dark brown pixie cut and dark brown eyes, I have a couple freckles and wear glasses

☾I tend to be more introverted when meeting new people, I can hold a conversation way better when talking to one on one so my attention can only be focused on one person and give them my full attention. One I get more comfortable with someone I tend to be more jokingly sarcastic and like to goof around but I'll always get the hint if they are not in the mood to joke around

☾I'm really passionate about psychology and painting. On the weekends or when I'm finished with work I tend to draw on my sketchbook to visualise my next painting while listening to video essays about different types of diagnosis and how they affect the brain and behaviour(my favourite video essays is Fear of forgetting by Clark Elieson, ok but srs it's so good) and my paintings mostly comsist of still life with warm colours

☾And god forbid if one of my friends lets me ramble about psychology cuz I'll turn a casual convo to a hole ted talk and go on and on until they tell me to shut up(plus I have a inside joke with my therapist that I turned the tables and her therapist)

☾That's kinda it, tysm for giving me this opportunity and don't forget to hydrate!!!!!!!!

character matchup [˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱ event]

hi Kristina! thanks for your order and sorry it took a while, I hope you'll enjoy and come again :)

credits at the bottom!

p.s thanks for the reminder, I just realized I only drank 1-2 bottles a day 🥲

I'm going to match you up with dazai or ranpo

for dazai, I can definitely see him taking an interest in you (similarly to how he was with atsushi)

at first he'd be curious because you're kind of quiet

however once you start warming up to him, he's curious to get to know you more

playful banter, a mixture of flirting as well, is thrown back and forth between the both of you

you're interest in psychology catches his attention too

he likes to listen to your take on how each diagnosis affects the way from how one thinks to how they behave

may or may not get into his, yours or both your mental state as well

once you start your speech on psychology, he won't stop you either

he'll sit there with you the entire time

giving you one of his signature smirk /smile

he's happy that you've been able to find your passion and drive in life

beyond that, he's glad that he can share a peice of his mind with someone else

would definitely be interested in your paintings as well

and the thought process behind it

questions you about every single detail

^ asks a lot of why questions as well

sometimes he ponders if your choice of art and colour as well are a reflection of your own mind

he likes to lounge near by and watch as you paint

falling asleep to the sound of your painting and the brush stroking on the paper

likes to call you silly nicknames such as kit / kitkat and so on

when you're both in the office, he likes to rest his head on top of yours and watch as you complete your work

he's bored out of his mind but at least you're there for him to disturb

Ranpo

similarly to dazai, he just likes to cause problems

will confidently strut over to your table and munch on his candies noisily while you're doing your work

don't expect much to get done

with you being his partner, it's like someone he can share his every thought with

(like an open diary essentially)

when you first met him, he was very pushy

always asking what you're listening to or what you're painting

sometimes likes to grab one side of the earpiece and listen to it beside you

but in the end he too, gets invested in what you're listening to and stays by your side

bratty bf

he'll joke with you back but sometimes he'll get upset

so you'll need to pacify him

preferably with candy

when you both get into deep talks he needs to at least have some form of skinship

either by holding your hand or leaning his head on your shoulder

or both

so if he's upset just sit with him and everything will be okay again

reblogs appreciated!

banners: dazai, ranpo,

#dazai x reader #dazai osamu x reader #ranpo x reader #ranpo edogawa x reader #x reader #headcanons #hc #bsd hcs #˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱#follower event #character matchup

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scriptlgbt · 1 year

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I'm writing a story and I'd like to how trans people get/treat STDs. If they haven't had bottom surgery is it no different than someone with those parts who is cis? But if they have, what differences are there? How about someone with no genitals?

In general it's pretty much the same as it would be for cis people. Bloodwork and a urine sample are the standard, and aren't really any different based on what someone's genitalia is like.

Pap smears and other sorts of exams can be dysphoria inducing as well, and there's some situation where it may be difficult to use a speculum because of atrophy (which can be for all sorts of reasons, hormones, vaginismus, imperforate hymen, intersex stuff). And people whose vaginas are surgically constructed don't typically have a cervix, so pap smears don't really get done as far as I know. (Sometimes speculums are used for other things though, like making sure everything is healing right, trimming or removing stitches from surgery, etc.)

But for the most part, the differences for STI testing specifically are mostly social, and can go different ways based on who is administering the test. Pap smears are in particular stressful for trans people who may have genitalia that's been altered by hormones. (I know it's irrational but the worry about getting a boner during a pap test, for instance, has crossed my mind a lot.)

Some other testing can be thrown for a loop because of the way procedure etiquette works. I had to have a transvaginal ultrasound once to check for ovarian cysts and there were definitely parts of it that were weird for me. (Transvaginal ultrasounds involve the ultrasound wand going inside the front hole for an accurate reading of specific parts of the reproductive system.) For instance, the ultrasound tech was a cis man and as part of their protocol, a cis woman nurse had to be in the room while I underwent this procedure. I hadn't asked about that ahead of time or really thought anything about it - I was in the emergency room trying to get to the bottom of extreme abdominal pain and I figured I could endure what I needed to. But in an ideal world, I'd be able to ask for a non cis person to be in the room with me I think. (I came in an ambulance, which would not take my partner with me.) (It turned out to be a 4mm kidney stone by the way, no ovarian cysts.)

Another anecdote that may be relevant to this topic is that sometimes doctors get weird about not knowing what you're testing for, because they don't know what body parts you have (and which were added at what points, made of what material). Prior to the transvaginal ultrasound, a doctor asked me what "chromosomes" I had. I honestly told him I did not know, I hadn't ever had a karyotype test as far as I knew. The doctor stumbled over himself a lot and I don't remember what else he said right after that, other than he was fumbling, got corrected, and that he was clearly Trying His Best. I interrupted the second or third useless question with, "are you asking if I have ovaries in case it might be a burst ovarian cyst or something?"

He was instantly relieved and said yes, so I told him.

There's a big problem I've noticed, that when people talk about these sorts of topics, they aren't specific enough in order to address what they mean. We use euphemisms like "assigned female" because people don't know that someone "assigned female" can have literally any body type. People seem afraid to name body parts, so they use euphemisms that rely on stereotypes and assumptions in order to be understood. But when you realize that people "assigned female" can be intersex, can have hysterectomies, can have testes, can have phalloplasties, and that everyone's parts are more or less analogous (skenes gland = prostate, etc), you realize how useless these broad categories are. If you want to ask if someone could carry a pregnancy, ask if they could carry a pregnancy. Not if they have certain chromosomes or were DFAB. Specifics matter. If I knew I was XY, that doctor would probably have assumed that the pattern of people with XY chromosomes not menstruating would include me. And if I did have ovarian cysts, or even a pregnancy, this could have dramatically impacted my health outcomes. (There have been stillbirths because of situations like this where people did not act fast enough because of ignorance around trans bodies.) I could have given in and guessed my chromosomes when the doctor asked, but what if my answer turned out to not be true? And what if the lack of confidence in my answer saved my life in some way?

I realize this is pretty far deviated from your original topic, but in terms of testing difficulties, it does feel like the sort of anecdote that would be very informative about these issues.

- mod nat

#mod nat #trans #writeblr #writing advice #reproductive care #reproductive health #reproductive freedom #pregnancy and reproductive #reproductive autonomy #doctors #medical #trans: medical #trans: bodies #hey don't plagiarize my life by the way #I feel like this should go without saying but someone sent an ask some years ago wanting to ask about my child abuse experience #for their writing. and it just felt really uncozy because this is not ScriptTrauma or ScriptTorture and I didn't sign up for that #just because I share a thing to illustrate a concept does not make it your writing material #it's just an example. plus I'm going to write about it myself. get yer own life experiences to write about etc

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