#i personally don't like the way it feels on my skin so i use as little as possible

[chernozemm]

Tw body and weight talk

Nothing shows the depths of the body dysmorphia delulu as the Google photos memories slideshow

I'm faced with photos where I'm easily 20kg lighter and I remember being that person and thinking god. My arms are so big. My face is too fluffy. Look at those thighs.

And it is so patently untrue. Yes, I've always been a tall person and a bit curvy but not to the degree id had fooled myself into thinking. It just makes me sad to know she felt so bad about things that weren't there.

Mind you, it doesn't...help my struggle with my new body much, but it at least grounds me in reality lol.

Really, the only thing that continuously makes me sad is not fitting into my fav clothes anymore. As a sensory issue girlie, finding clothes that fit, don't make me claw out of my skin, and look cute? Bruh.

Idk where I'm going w this, I'm sick and I have a lot of time to Ponder. Drawing aziraphale helps. Going to the gym helps. Not to lose weight but because I fill out my body so pleasantly and I can feel the muscles under the softness.

I think ever since I hit 10 and the childlike svelteness gave way to the first chub, something got scrambled and disconnected in my brain, like it did for many of us.

But Im working on a reconciliation w her (my bod, my MVP)💪

#to those confused i sometimes use she her pronouns for younger me because its just true #but they them is the latest update make sure to download

[edgeray]

One Hell of a Butler Pt. 6

Husband and Wife (Arlecchino x Fem! Reader)

A/N: Guys, sorry for not posting anything in like 2 weeks. School highkey sucks. Have this to make up for it. Sorry for rushed ending, I'm tired but if I don't finish it as soon as possible, I won't be posting anything for another 2 weeks. Series Masterlist Content Warning: None really, rushed ending (I'm tired af), references to Pt.2, but not that relevant. This is also long af, 4.7k words

This scene is becoming far too familiar than you’d like it to be.

An icy nailed finger trails up your bare spine, the blackened hand grazing against the vast, open back your dress allowed, leaving your shoulder blades and a little under exposed. The other hand is draped around your midsection, pushing you against her front as firmly, the lack of her body heat practically numbing against your skin. Yet, hot air cascades against the shell of your ear, a sultry whisper in your air as her lips near your earlobe.  

“You look beautiful, my dear wife,” Arlecchino sighs out, humming in approval as her red-crossed eyes practically devour your form, the hold around your body slightly tightening it. It invokes more shudders, making you let out the softest of groans. 

“So, so beautiful,” she murmurs against your skin, her wet mouth ghosting against your nape. Her hand traces the dip of your shoulderblades before guiding her fingers to your side, her hand grasping one of your hips. “Red is a fetching color on you. Wear it more often for me, won’t you, my Lady?”  

You’re fully aware she’s only partial to the color because it resembles her pupils. She likes to associate herself with this particular hue. Narcissus himself, wasn’t she? 

One of your hands is placed over the one on your hip, wrenching it away from your person before it could creep lower. You click your tongue in ire. By this point, you’re more than aware of her persistent and irritating suggestions, always pushing the boundary between master and servant. Regardless of how many times you reprimand her, she’s undeterred–a trait you almost admire if it didn’t often hinder you. Still, you can’t deny the way your skin always tingles underneath her fingertips, or the way her amative words stirs something deep within you. With every protest and physical pushback, a prickling feeling at the back of your mind shoots through you, something you can attest to allegorize to the figurative biting of your tongue. 

There’s the common rationality that crossing the line will cause inevitable consequences that neither of you will be capable of facing, and yet you let her teeter the line. Toying with it, as if it’s not there, or a better analogy: that it’s nothing more than one of those games she enjoys playing with you. Is it because of your own lack of will or because you indulge in this far more than you should? You find contempt with the acknowledgement that you favor the way she dallies you. 

You knew that this ploy would excite the demon, give more latitude to her already desirous advances and increase her antics, but it was necessary for what you were trying to achieve. Masking as a wedded piar was the only way of concealing your identity while ensuring that Arlecchino remained by your side at all times but you wished there was a simpler guise. Regrettably, a charity event didn’t allow many guises, not with the scheme you plotted. Arlecchino, would undoubtedly, use every and any courting attempts under the guise of your ‘husband,’ throughout the entirety of the night. You only hope you could curb her behavior enough to not result in the right into becoming a blunder. 

“Arlecchino, are you so oblivious as to not be able to hold tongue?” You ask, your frigid words and sharp tongue coating your internal thoughts with a mask of coldness. 

“Why, are you offering to slit it?” She offers, and you forget; that’s precisely something you’d enjoy. Always the cheeky demon that she is. From the mirror, you can see that almost infatuated expression on her face: lips curled into a cutting smirk, eyes narrowed on the image of you in the mirror, and red-crossed pupils glowering. “I’m merely commenting on your appearance, can you fault me when I have such a lovely wife before me?” 

Her words ring through your ears, sounding just like they had numerous times before. How long will it be until she stops repeating those praises, you wonder; how long will it be until they seem credible? You finally gaze up into the mirror, and there’s no objection to her statement. It’s a stunning, remarkably well-tailored scarlet dress, long and flowy with a high slit running from your thigh. It pairs well with the crimson suit that adorns the demon’s form exquisitely. The two of you do appear as an attractive pair, you admit begrudgingly to yourself. You gaze at the mirror for a moment longer before prying yourself away from the demon’s hold, stepping away from her with your back towards her. There’s the small inkling inside you that she pouts much like a scolded puppy. 

“Don’t make me keep you on a tight leash,” you snap, once again swatting Arlecchino’s hand that tries to creep up onto your waist. “Behave yourself appropriately.”

A chuckle erupts from behind you. “If I behaved myself, then our image of doting husband and wife will shatter, no? Besides, a leash may not be very… dignified, would it? It’d be quite the presentation, indeed.”

It slips from your memory at times: how demons, or Arlecchino particularly, have no shame. 

With a scoff and a shake of your head, you reply. “Is that what you want to appear as? A dog I leash around?”

Again, another noise of amusement comes from the demon, but she replies with neither a confirmation or objection. Kinky bastard. 

“The only thing we need are finishing touches, is that right? Accessories if you will.”

You nod, making your way towards the door of your bedroom. “Your gloves and your contacts. You have them, yes?” 

“Yes, but I was referring to something else.” Before you can question it, there’s a grasp on your wrist andd then you’re spun around to face her. With the slyness of a fox, she slips a ring on your ring finger prior to your awareness, and a sparkling gemstone greets your vision. You nearly sputter at the sudden action, jerking your hand away from her hold as you extend out your hand in front of you to view it. A brilliant ruby, no, red diamond glimmers before you, encased by a sleek, intricate, gold and silver design–irrefutably based off of her usual palette she prefers to don. You collect your composure, masking it with a monotone hum. 

“I don’t recall purchasing this for tonight.” You look at her, scanning her expression: the amused gleam in her black pits and the hardly discreet smile across her lips. 

“I acquired it myself. There should be no issue with it, I presume? I thought it would… assure our disguise.” She raises up her hand, wearing a similar jewerly. 

You note that she uses ‘acquired’ over ‘purchased.’ What means have she gone through to obtain this? You don’t have even an inkling of an idea. You don’t care enough to inquire further on how she obtained a ring containing the rarest type of diamond discovered by humans yet. However, it is difficult to argue that it doesn’t achieve the job of solidifying the illusion the two of you aare trying to uphold. 

“We have everything, we need, is that correct?” 

“That’s correct, my Lady.”

“Then let’s go. Come along, Arlecchino, no point in dallying is there, my dear ‘husband?’” 

Unbeknownst to you, your words lit a spark within your butler, an inferno that will remain undying until the next morning. Thrill hums underneath her blackened skin, and the warmth and levity of adoration grips her dead, devoid, demonic heart. 

—

Upon arrival at the venue of the charity event, a grand mansion, it bares much resemblance to the ball that you and Arlecchino went to for information gathering–your first failure, regrettably, on no one’s fault but yours. You had banked on your source of information to be accurate, and what a fool you made of yourself then. Though this time, you had a different objective in mind, this one more promising for success. 

Hosted by Magnate Tartuffe, a philanthropist and so-called ‘Savior of the Poor,’ you have no doubt the charity event is just a convention for his more… shift business partners. The perfect den to gather evidence of this scum’s lies, and a good place to see who else is involved with his web of deceit. You pose as one of the guests invited to such an event…how lucky for you that you just come across her invitation first instead of her. 

Rich people do love their ballrooms, don’t they? 

You observe the dancefloor and the pleasant couples. Unsurprisingly, some of who you recognize: politicians, entrepreneurs, philanthropists; this place reeks of two-faced snakes. Arlecchino’s prickling gaze bores into you, and you have no doubt that your ‘husband’ wants nothing more than to ‘blend in’ among the dancing pairs with you. Sure enough, after a few minutes of wandering through the swarms of people, there is a tug on your dress and you redirect your attention from the various sea of invitees to your butler. 

“We look quite conspicuous wandering about, don’t we? Why don’t we indulge ourselves for a little bit, my love?” Arlecchino says to you from behind, her gloved hand finding yours, intertwining your fingers. She pivots you to face her again, a mischievous glint in her obsidian abysses. Through her gloves, her coldness bleeds through the silk fabric. Her fingers run over your ring with careful deliberation. 

Love. It’s a word that you think seldom comes from a demon’s lips. And yet, you find yourself entertaining the notion of her repeating that single syllable in that distinct lilt. Foolish, you chide yourself, but perhaps there is some truth to her previous statement. Still, now is not the time for dawdling, you reason. 

“Now? You know better that this event gives little leeway to do as we please.” You refute, but you’re swept in her embrace, drew against her with a precise disregard of your words as she often does. She peers down on you, that damnable, infuriating smirk across her features as she practically undresses you with her gluttonous glare alone. You repress the reflex to shudder. 

“Is that so? Not even one dance, darling?”

“No.” You attempt to wring your hand from hers, but then her fingers fixedly but gently wrap around your wrist. She guides your hand to her chest as if she’s safeguarding it from you. 

Through gritted teeth, you enouciate her name, like scolding a disobedient pet. “Arlecchino.”

“What wife doesn’t have time to dance with her husband?” Arlecchino replies back, her voice raising in volume, a faux disbelief present in her voice, her expression imitating likewise as well–widened eyes, raised eyebrows, and a pity-garnering frown. It’s far from the first time she’s done this, act as if she had any human emotions beyond lust, but there’s yet been a time you fell for it, even when she does look like a kicked puppy.  

“This wife.” 

Your butler leans down until her lips brushes against your ear, a lazy, alluring drawl graces your ears. Her other hand seizes your chin, turning it away from her direction and steering it towards the few bystanders watching the two of you’s interaction. You could feckly hear their snobbish remarks, the way their eyes usher away from yours and they lean towards the other, a hand covering their mouths. “Careful. We have an audience. We wouldn’t want to draw attention to us, would we?” 

Her and her diabolical tricks. 

“Fine,” you submit begrugingly, seething anger barely contained in your voice. An amused and smug titter spews from the demon, and it takes a considerable amount of restraint to not deck her across her face; she’d relish in it anyways. 

“Do you mind if I take the lead, my love?” She asks you in a sickeningly, sweet tone like a doting partner would. Your stomach churns, but you can’t discern if it’s in an discomforting way or not, but you could physically feel some of your ire dissipate, humbly tamed by a simple pet name. You detest the wonder if your will was always this frail. What was it this time that broke through your stubborn front of vexation? You’ve been kidnapped, beatened, tortured before, but this was where you fell? Unfathomable. My love, she repeats again, and it rings through your ears, almost deafening every other sound that surrounds you, rendering you powerless. 

Arlecchino places your free hand on top of her shoulder while hers position itself on your side. The hand that is still clasped with yours extends outwards, assuming the waltz position. Abruptly, you’re acutely aware of how clammy your hands are underneath your gloves and you utterly despise the quickening of your heartbeat that drums throughout your entire body; still, you couldn’t muster the courage to look away from the reassuring smile–free of its previous pomposity and ridicule–she sends you. For the briefest period of time, you think that instead of a demon, in place of it is an angel from how ethereal she appears. But you quickly shake your head ridding of that thought as soon as it came. 

Stupid racing of your heart, making you see things that aren’t there. 

She moves slow at first, as if to examine where your experience lies, gradually increasing her pace with each minute. It’s awkward at first, but once she finds a suitable speed, the two of you smoothly glide over the floor. You match her every step with poise and fluidity, and when it’s clear you’ve accustomed to her rhythm, she raises her left arm while dropping your right, twirling you around. In this moment, everything else disappears, the only thing that is of relevance to you is her, your bodies in sync as your eyes lock. With each sway, you wonder if your heartrates are also synchronized–in this breath of time, does her heart races for you like yours does? The unwavering gaze of hers resides on you, and you can’t do no more but reciprocate her attention. You dubiously think that in her eyes, there’s a fondness to them, and oh, how it melts you. How it eases your soul and lightens your steps. How you carefully regard every feature, admiring the lack of blemishes over her skin and the softness of her facial traits; but maybe those observations were made from your own bias.

There’s a silence between the two of you that you find solace in–almost anyone would call it intimate. Outside of you and Arlecchino, the world would think of the two of you as husband and wife truly, and it’s like you’re the only one that knows the truth. You bite your lip harshly, dragging back your imaginative consciousness back to reality. When trying to enact revenge, foolishness and naivety have no place here; your goal is the only thing that dictates your life now. 

That’s right. You have no time or need to fool around with a demon, no matter how charming she is. 

“I wasn’t aware you knew how to dance.” You make small talk, if only to break the growing intimacy between servant and master, attempting to dismiss the way your nerves singe from the warmth she exudes and how loud that beating organ in your chest thumps. 

“Yes, serving a multiple of masters over hundreds of years has allowed me to cultivate an innumerable amount of skills and experience–dancing included. of course,” Arlecchino replies as she spins you, following a dip immediately afterwards. As you’re lowered until a feet or two above the floor with only her arms supporting your weight, she leans her head further down, inches away from your face, her breath skimming against your nose. The sudden action has you breathless, heaving for the air she effortlessly stole from your lungs. Her eyes lock with yours for a short while, her expression slack as if she’s in awe, before her lips curl into a smile. 

“You should be underneath me more often,” she has the audacity to comment in that husky, amorous voice, both a stinging annoyance and blossoming fluster bubble inside you. Before you can berate her, ‘your husband’ raises you until both of your feet are flat on the ground and she resumes the standard waltz stance, the two of you sashaying across the floor. 

Nonchalantly, she resumes her answer previously, as if to overlook her brash remark; you know it’s only to further fluster and tease you, that fucking demon. “Waltz is, admittedly, one of my favorite types of dancing. The intimacy it creates between the partners is thrilling. I’ve had much experience with it.” 

And suddenly that placid campfire stoking in your chest ignites into an inferno, like being possessed by something sinister; the previous levity that coats your person is stripped away, replaced with a heavy and overbearing covering that makes you too aware of her speech and her expression, keen in deciphering her thoughts behind that front. She’s… reminiscing? There should be no logical reason it acutely agitates you, but that faraway look–it infuriates you. It’s a sensation that was similar to what brought on about that abrupt and inexplicable fit of irrationality during the ball, when you marked Arlecchino’s neck. You’ve opted to not ruminate over that occurrence after the event but as you feel the the same beast’s claws grip your form, it’s with a grim realization that you discover unsightly jealousy. 

It spews out before you can stop it. “And how many people have you danced with like this?” 

Arlecchino’s smile freezes in time, her eyes flicking over your slight scowl, brows lifting bemusedly. Then, her lips curl further upwards marginally. “Quite a few has come before you, my Lady.”  

Is she purposely trying to aggravate you? 

Deciding to avoid another incident like at the ball, you bite your tongue in an attempt to repress anymore thoughtless utterances; you refuse to let her win in this little game she’s trying to play. Fanning the flames inside you won’t mean that you’ll combust. You bitterly question what you thought would come from a demon. Expectedly, nothing genuine. Becoming lost in your thoughts, your eyes wander away from her face, absentmindedly observing the gazes of other observers, watching the two of you sway. You’re broken out of your trance when your butler’s voice cuts through your thoughts. 

“Something more interesting than ‘your husband?’” 

You recover from the shock quickly, glancing back at her. “And if there was?” 

“Then I would be saddened. Perhaps I haven’t captured your attention enough?” 

You choose not to respond, unsure of what to say and what it would lead to. The song in the background comes to a close, and she ends the dance with one more dip. Once the song ends, you immediately wrench out your hands from her grasp. 

“Satisfied yet? You got your dance,” you sigh, inwardly disgusted with how uncomfortable your gloves feel now with all of the sweat built up. Settling your palm onyour chest, you can feel the faint thumping underneath, still pumping rapidly. Through deep breaths, you try to calm it, turning away from Arlecchino. “Very. You were an excellent partner,” your ‘husband’ says from behind.

Some part of you asks how many times she’s said that before. 

You huff. “Great, now can we do what we came here for?” 

“As you wish, my lovely wife.” 

Stupid demon husband. 

—

Sneaking around the venue has yet garner much success. Currently, you’re searching for the location of Tartuffe’s meeting with his other associates, but no luck. His goons are watching over the hallways; a clear signifier that he doesn’t want others to be probing about where they shouldn’t be. 

“Arlecchino,” you whisper once you’ve found yourself in a secluded hallway, making sure that no one is around. The demon appears. 

“Have you found them yet?”

“No, I’ve yet to find them. Even with my hearing, it appears that they’re not here.” 

“How good is your hearing?” 

“They’re quite sensitive, I can hear so much as a whisper through walls.”

“How thick can those walls be?”

“It’s dependent on the material. Though these types of walls should not prove to be difficult for me.” 

“Hm… it’s less likely that they would move to another place altogether, there’d be no reason to all come here if that was the case. So there’s a high chance they’re still here… Arlecchino, on the blueprints was there any stairwells?” 

The demon closes her eyes momentarily, attempting to recall. “Yes, it would be on the opposite side of the building. Though, when I was exploring that section, there was no apparent stairwell.” 

“That may be where they are. We should–”

Before you can continue, you hear a thudding reverberate through the hallway, the sound growing louder with each second passing by. If you’re spotted here, it’s likely you’ll be expelled out of the event for trespassing and looking around. Your heart pounds rapidly as you try to conceive the notion of another failure towards your goal; no, you cannot let it end here. The footsteps approach closer. Your hands scramble for the doorknob behind you, twisting it to see if it’ll allow you inside and serve as a covert. However, it doesn’t budge, no matter how many times you try. 

“Shit, shit, shit,” you curse underneath your breath when you realize the door is expectedly locked. Is there any way you for the two of you not to get caught. Arlecchino may be a demon, she has teleportation powers, but those powers mean nothing to you when she can’t transport you. You could order her to disappear and allow yourself to be thrown out; she’ll probably be able to find out how to let you back in, but again, that carries risk and you may not have enough time for that, especially when the distance makes coordination difficult for that type of plan and you don’t know how long that meeting will last if it’s started half an hour ago, wait, the footsteps are just about there, rounding the corner, think hard, faster, think, think, thinking fucking dumbass–

A firm, chilling hand places itself on your shoulder, whipping you around before pressing you harshly against the wooden door, making you groan from the immediate impact. Arlecchino’s body towers over you, her pupils gleaming so radiantly that they’re visible through the contact lenses that she’s wearing; her expression is still and emotionless, only adding to the chilling emanation from her. One of her arms is placed beside your hand, and she leans forward against the door. Her other hand hooks underneath your chin, and tilt your face up, viewing her face. The only information that your mind could process at this instance is just how little distance there is between the two of you, and that is enough to send your pulse soaring. The panic of your impending exposure futiley against the thoughts that suddenly revolve around your butler, your husband, who draw nearer. You should push her away and demand what she’s doing, but her speed surpasses that of human capabilities, far too swift for you to even occupy that consideration, and you give up the fruitless struggle in the next moment. 

“Forgive me, my Lady,” she whispers huskily, just a hairsbreadth away from your own and she descends upon you. 

Arlecchino’s cold lips find yours, prying away your oxygen effortlessly with each claim of your mouth. Reality melts away at her touch–she overwhelms all of your senses, you’re mindless except for the flavor and texture of her–as she presses against you even more. She tastes chilling and metallic, like steel; yet soft and welcoming as a pillow; you can’t imagine anything more from your demon, and it certainly doesn’t prevent you from leaning further. She’s nothing and exactly like how you would think she’d be like, and it absolutely thrills you. Heart palpitating, every nerve hums underneath each inch of skin, and oh, how absurdly hot you feel despite her cold lips. Closing your eyes, your hands raise up to her face, cupping both sides and tugging her impossibly closer. A soft grunt escapes from her and her fingers below your chin leave in favor of lagging down below, over your dress before it finds the thigh-high slit and slides underneath. 

“Arlecchino,” you gasp out as her gloved fingers trail up your bare thigh, and she quickly swallows the whisper of her name. Continuing up, they travel innerwards, and your body involuntarily bucks in her direction. You’re filled with only the incessant need for her, more of her touch, more of her taste, more of her everything; you bite her lip, requesting–no, demanding–for entrance, and like the obedient servant she is, she allows entry. Just as she has claimed your lips, you decide replicate it back, exploring every crevice of her mouth with your tongue. You’re further fueled by the throaty moan she emanates, the pit of your stomach fluttering. 

“Say my name again,” she begs out in the sweetest, most yearning voice that’s ever graced your ears, and with that kind of plea, who are you to deny her? 

“Arlecchino,” you whisper out, and then again, and again, like a chant. You pull the slightest bit away just to catch your breath, before leaning back in, but that is when Arlecchino leans away, backing away fully from your lips to your dismay. Her touch on your leg leaves.The sudden break snaps you out of your lust-filled daze, and you look at her like a betrayed lover. Noticing that her eyes are directed somewhere else, you follow them. 

Two men stand by the side of you, evidently discomfortable if the way they’re refusing to make eye contact signifies anything. You rack your head around for a second, before remembering they’re among the security personnel. Still recovering from the intimate engagement you just had with your butler, you heave for breath, attempting to say something to them, but Arlecchino does so first. 

“Is there something you’d like to say to me and my wife about?” Your ‘husband’ gruffs, frigid fury coating her words. 

One of the men cleared his throat before replying awkwardly with, “Um, we’re sorry to have… interrupted you, but guests are not supposed to be in these parts.” 

Arlecchino lets out a faux scoff, and her hand reache for mine, clasping it tight. “Fine. Then let us be on our way back,” she states, turning away from them and wordlessly walking away, leading you along with her. Once the two of you are out of the two men’s sight, you stop her in her tracks. 

“Was that necessary?” You inquire, a bit of indignation in your tone. Because how could she just do that without your permission, without your order? The two of you have just breached a line you promised yourself you wouldn’t cross, and here you were, like a fucking liar. This shouldn’t have happened. 

“We needed a way that would make us not look conspicuous, didn’t we? I thought if we… played up to our roles, they would think that we were just… having a rendezvous.” 

You sigh. It worked as Arlecchino has intended at least. Yet, you can’t help but question if that was all to why she did it. 

Your lips still tingle, her taste still lingers. 

“Fine, I won’t reprimand you for that. But know if you do something like that again, there will be consequences,” you warn her harshly. “Now, let’s go, we still have to proceed with our plan.”

— 

That night was successful, thankfully. You had managed to get all the evidence you needed, and formulate a list of who exactly is working with that damn philanthropist. After you arrived home, you immediately sent Arlecchino out, changed, and retired to bed. But as you lay underneath the covers, you couldn’t help but wish that it was her arms wrapped around you instead of these blankets. And yet you never call for her. It is the same reason why you never mentioned about the kiss to her again. 

Ah, you want to taste her again. Drink her in once more, discover more sounds of her.

Your fingers fiddle with the ring that Arlecchino slipped onto your finger earlier that night. It fits your finger just right. 

Husband and wife? What a funny thought. 

That night, when your eyelids are finally too heavy for you to lift, you dream of eyes with crosses as pupils and blackened hands, chilly to the touch.  

A/N: First canonical kiss. Whoooooo. Only took these bitches 12.4k words for them to kiss. Anyways, I'm going to pass the fuck out now.

#arlecchino x reader #arlecchino x you #arlecchino #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you #genshin impact fanfics #genshin fics #genshin x reader #genshin arlecchino #genshin impact arlecchino #edgeray.writes

[slutmegeto]

eesome.

his pretty pink kitty.

tw. noncon, dubcon, yandere, forced pet play, sucking on his foot (don't ask :)), use of pet/slut, use of master, collared and leashed, anal plug tail, cat ears, humiliation, dehumanizing, implied that he burned you, sexual content but no sex

not spell-checked! maybe i will later!

pairing: dabi x f!reader

his fingers are rough against your skin.

aggresive, coarse, dry and painful. his poorly done staples scratch against your smooth skin, sometimes catching and pulling. you bite your lip to hold back the small cries that threaten to fall, knowing that he prefers you quiet and obedient.

besides, you knew he got a small thrill out of hurting you, so it was best not to argue in anyway against.

even if it hurts. even if it scares you.

head bowed, you don't dare try to raise it and meet his eyes. he'd told you to kneel before him on the bed, so that's what you'd done; but it had been ten minutes since then and he's yet to say anything. you can feel his stare on you and it twists something nasty in your chest but the burns across your ass remind you not to react despite how you feel.

you only hope he'll move on with whatever he wants.

as if answering your prayer, dabi speaks a second later.

"we're gonna try something new tonight."

fingers clenching, you dig them into to palms of your hands, trying to ignore the violent shiver that runs through you at his words. something new never meant anything good — when dabi wanted to try something knew, that usually meant nothing good for you.

correction, it never meant anything good for you.

"lift your head," comes dabi's sharp order.

listening instantly, you raise your head, tilting your chin up to meet his gaze as he towers over you. he's sat on the edge of the bed, legs spread with you kneeling in between them. he shrouds you completely, leaving you surrounded and trapped and without escape.

but you haven't had an escape ever.

your insides squirm at the sight of him, his burnt and ruined skin never fails to scare you despite how long you've had to adjust to it. it just added to the horror of who he was as a person. you thought him to be a monster and never would your mind change on that fact.

he smiles at your obedience, cruel and mocking as he reaches out for you, grasping your chin in his own. you tense at the touch, but keep still, silently waiting for him to continue.

"i brought somethings for you to try on."

his stare is hard, and it takes you a second to realize what he wants.

"y-yes, master," you force out, hoping you hadn't waited too long. given the way he pulls away and the smirk on his lips, you figure you hadn't.

he reaches behind him, probably reaching into the bag you saw him bring in that evening out of the corner of your eye. you hadn't gotten a good look at him; not only did dabi not like you making eye contact until he allowed, he kept you in a cage when he left and sometimes, gagged and blindfolded you if you'd been particularly bad.

a second later, he's pulling out a collar; it's black with a pink bow on the front.

you swallow thickly.

"lift your chin," he gives a light slap to your cheek. "i wanna see how this looks on you."

without hesitation, you lift your chin, stretching it so your neck sticks out. dabi leans towards you and bite your tongue at the burnt smell that radiates off of him and the feeling of his dangerous hands drifting across your delicate throat.

he wraps the collar around you, threading the end of it through the loop and tugs, making sure it's snug against your throat. you choke lightly at the sensation, and you hear dabi let out a snicker in response.

when he's done, he leans back with a grin.

"suits you well," dabi laughs, "like having you collared like you're my bitch."

cheeks red, you avoid his gaze.

unphased, dabi continues. he reaches behind him again and you hear the soft sound of the bag crinkling before he pulls out a headband, with a pair of pink cat ears on top of it.

your heart sinks as you realize where he's going with this.

"to match the bow," he says, as if that wasn't obvious.

once the ears are on, he leans back again, this time leaning back on his hands as he lets his eyes drift across you. you burn with shame and humiliation as his eyes drift across your naked and bare form, dressed up in a pair of cat ears and a collar.

it's dehumanizing.

but there's nothing you can do.

"now, turn around." your eyes fall on him then and he nods, signaling you to listen. the burns on your ass ache as if the memory of it resurfaces and you move to stand up and turn around but you're halted by dabi.

"no," he hisses, "you're not human today, pet. you're my pretty kitty so you are going to crawl on your hands and knees."

the shame burns.

"b-but—"

barely giving you a second, dabi tsks at you. "do kitties speak?"

you shake your head.

eased at that, dabi leans back. "good, now, turn."

leaning forward, you press your palms agaisnt the hardwood, shifting to balance on them and your knees. then, you turn, shuffling on the ground until you're no longer facing dabi and rather the wall across from him.

you hear dabi shift and his hand falls on your back.

"stick your ass in the air."

the whimper that leaves your lips is involuntarily, unable to hold back as you let him push you forward. dabi just scoffs at your whimper and continues pushing, not stopping the pressure against your back until your cheek is pressed against the ground with your ass in the air and pointed towards him.

his hands drift across your ass and you wince, some of the wounds rather fresh and not healed but dabi ignores you. you jump, however, the second he pulls your cheeks apart and then a finger is pressing against your asshole

you bite your lip, hands clenched into fists on either side of your face as the uncomfortable sensation of something prodding your tight hole overwhelms you.

dabi is relentless, uncaring, forcing his finger into your hole before suddenly pulling away. your lips part in a gasp and then there's something wet and cold spitting against it.

it's his spit.

"now," dabi says a moment later. "the exciting part."

you hear the bag against before something much larger than his finger is pressing against your ass hole. it's cold and plastic as well and has your muscles tensing as you realize it's some sort of buttplug. his spit barely did anything to lube you up and his finger hadn't stretched you enough so it's painful as dabi pushes the plug in, ignoring your cries as he forces it further and further down your ass.

a minute later and it's fully sheathed in your ass, the sensation of being full uncomfortable and terrifying.

then, it's being tugged.

your head turns back, forgetting yourself as you try to peer at yourself, only to see something fluffy and long sticking out from your ass.

it's a... tail.

"really adds to the look," dabi explains, smiling back at you, before giving it another tug that has your back bending and a whimper leaving your lips. "don't you think?"

gasping, you try and brace yourself.

dabi tugs again, harder this time; the rim of the plug stretching your hole. "answer me!"

"yes!" you gasp, "yes, master! it does!"

scoffing, dabi shakes his head, pushing himself up off the bed and to a full stand. you cower at his height, turning back away from him as he makes his way around you.

a chain falls in front of your eyes.

then, dabi's crouching in front of you, the other end of the chain clasped in his hands as he reaches for your neck, taking the ring-hole connected to your collar and attaching the leash to it.

you watch him as he stands back up.

"we're gonna practice walking, pet. and i don't want to see you try to stand up even once, got it?" he orders, eyes narrowing dangerously as you nod frantically. with his free hand, not holding the chain, blue fire floats around it. "you know what will happen if you try."

"i promise, master, i won't—"

"ah, ah," he cuts you off, wiggling his finger at you. "i let you speak before but you are supposed to be my pet. so, meow."

you freeze. surely... surely, he couldn't actually expect you to—

"now, pet."

it shouldn't surprise you, but it does. every time you think dabi can't get worse, he does and you feel that shame burn you as you realize you have no choice but to obey; that threatening and hot fire still taunted at your face.

lips parting, you force out the sound; "meow.... m-meow."

"good pet," dabi praises and it makes you feel sick. "now, follow me."

he's walking, his grip on the leash pulling you with him. you jump as you start to follow, using your hands to step forward as your knees press against the hardwood painfully. it's awkward and uncomfortable, hard to balance and humiliating, but you're careful not to stand up even though your instincts scream at you to.

he takes you around a circle in his bedroom. over and over and over again. even as your face twists in pain, your knees aching, dabi doesn't relent.

again and again he takes you in a circle, watching you struggle to move with him with a menacing grin. he's clearly enjoying the view, ordering you to meow every so often up at him. his grip on the leash never lessens and if you slow your pace too much, he tugs, pulling you forward and you are forced to catch yourself because if you fall, dabi makes it clear that'll elicit punishment too.

it's probably thirty minutes before he stops and when he finally sits back at the, it's with relief that you kneel before him.

face red, sweat budding across you, you pant up at him.

"panting like that you look more like a dog don't you?" dabi leers, "maybe next time i'll get you some dog ears. hearing you bark would be fun."

you lick your lips, glancing at your knees.

"don't look away," dabi snaps, nudging you with his foot. you would've toppled over if you hadn't quickly caught yourself, eyes snapping back to him as he glares down at you.

shaking his head, dabi just shakes his head, and your stomach twists with nerves, worrying you'd upset him.

it's silent for a moment, and then, glancing down at you, his face brightens.

"here," he calls, stretching his leg out before him, jutting his foot until it's right in front of your face. he'd taken off his shoes once he'd stepped into the bedroom, along with his socks, and your brows furrow at his foot right in your face. "be a good kitty and lick."

your eyes widen, flickering from his foot to his face.

dabi just leans forward. "that's right, i want you to lick my foot. suck my toes. that shit." he mocks, voice cruel as you flinch. "you like sucking my cock, right? like choking on my fingers? well, now i want you to do the same to my feet. that's what girls who don't listen get."

you hesitate, eyes never wavering from his gaze.

"lick my foot or i'll burn your ass so hard you won't be able to sit for a month," he hisses, annoyed at your hesitation. "i can't imagine that'll be confortable in your tiny little cage."

fear floods you, and your eyes shift back to his food, swallowing thickly as it feels like you might puke. but you know you've already tested his patience enough, so you shuffle forward on your knees and raise your hands, ready to—

"uh-huh, don't use your hands. keep them on the ground."

his gaze is cruel and you're quick to listen.

your face twists as you part your lips, leaning towards his foot and sticking out your tongue. it takes you a moment but finally you lick his toe, wrapping your tongue around it before bringing it into your mouth and sucking on it like dabi had trained you when sucking his cock.

you gag at the taste, eyes clenching shut as you suck on it, using your tongue to wrap around it.

and you do that for a moment before dabi is grabbing the top of your head by your hair and tugging. not enough to lift you off of his foot but to meet his gaze.

"put the whole thing in your mouth."

nails digging into the hardwood, you listen, shifting and stretching your mouth around his entire foot. it stretches your lips wide, painfully, as you gag around his foot.

then, dabi shoves it forward, forcing your head back as you choke, muffled coughs leaving your lips.

"choke on my foot like that slave you are," dabi taunts, enjoying the sight of your eyes twisting and the tears that build at the corner of your eyes. "go on."

you grip the hardwood, desperate to find purchase and stop yourself from reaching out for his foot to tug it away.

dabi is relentless, never stopping, laughing as you choke and cry and spit dribbles down at your chin.

when he does finally pull away, you fall forward, gasping for breath and coughing as you try to catch your breath. all while dabi watches, the grin never fading from his lips, enjoying the sight of you in pain and discomfort.

"next time," he speaks once you've stopped coughing. "i think i'll tie your legs and arms up... that way you really will have to walk like a dog."

#yandere my hero academia #my hero academia x reader #my hero academia #mha #mha x #yandere mha #dabi #dabi x reader #yandere dabi

[lilydalexf]

A fic being creepy or scary is up to personal interpretation, but here are some very good creepy, scary, or horror X-Files fics that I would generally consider in a category like Finding Rokovoko by prufrock's love (which I recced here), though I don't know if anything is quite like that fic. These asks and another I already partly answered are so old (one at least 4 years old), but thank you, anons! It took me a too long while, but I liked putting together this list. Enjoy! The stories in the list below aren't Halloween stories. Some recs of creepy or scary fics are in my Halloween fic rec lists: part 1, part 2. Not listed below are casefiles by @syntax6, which all get a rec.

An Awful Noise by 221Browncoat (@whumpdoyoumean) Mulder's injured and there's something in the woods. The Barn by @discordantwords The light stung her eyes and Scully shut them tightly, feeling her skin prickle uncomfortably in the heat as she tried to remember what, how, why–why she was lying on her stomach on the dusty ground, fingers scrabbling in the dirt...

Bonemeal by Magdeleine Here there be Pigs. Brumal Harvest by DarlaBlack (@sigritandtheelves) Mulder and Scully are trapped deep in the wintry Ozarks while something stalks them from the shadows… The Crouching Thing by se_parsons Sometimes we see things we don't want to see.

Das Ding by @teethnbone Some grassy barrows, some big gold fields. Every Sparrow Falling by Alloway Deadly birds, mysterious soldiers and abandoned carnivals lead Mulder and Scully to small-town America, where they discover that dwelling on the past can be a very dangerous thing. The Fox and the Howned by K. D. Enriquez A psychotic serial killer from Mulder's past returns for vengeance. Gates of Hell by @alienqueequeg In the first case after her remission from cancer, Scully is forced to confront a disturbing time in her past. Ten bodies are found buried outside an abandoned hospital in Northern California, all desecrated in a way that is reminiscent of horrifying medical experiments that took place there almost fifty years ago. While navigating the complexities of a changing relationship, Scully and Mulder work to uncover a long-buried evil and hope to solve a cold case that has haunted Scully for years.

Heuvelmans' On the Track by The_Mythpoeic (@mashnotesofthemythpoeic) In which Scully becomes a Consortium doctor, and Mulder moves heaven and earth. Infinity by Steven G. Barnes Mulder and Scully investigate strange occurrences linked to a psychic, and find themselves drawn into a nightmare. La Llorona by @bohoartist Mulder and Scully investigate the tale of the ghostly La Llorona. Nevermore by FridaysAt9 The raven outside Scully’s window rattles her nerves, leading her to a late night visit to Mulder’s apartment for a little comfort. Nowhere to Hide by Thalia D'Muse Someone from Scully's past resurfaces...

Paper Saints by Jill Selby Set post-“Fight the Future” Shine by Ainon Mulder and Scully come to investigate multiple deaths in one family. Silver Cornet by Bonetree Set just after "Je Souhaite," Mulder and Scully take a ride on a mysterious train that's carrying more secrets than either can imagine. snow in april by skuls (@ghostbustermelanieking) Dealing with the fallout from Mulder's return, Mulder and Scully find themselves in the midst of a strange case in a small town.

The Summoning of Nikola Price by @alienqueequeg Mulder and Scully spend a weekend in a haunted house with psychics attempting to communicate with the ghost of powerful spiritualist. Set sometime after One Son and before Milagro. The Three Lost Children by @baronessblixen Mulder takes Scully to an abandoned house that's said to be haunted. Scully doesn't believe in that sort of thing but then things start to get spooky. The Vardoger by Corinne Hansen "I'm inclined to think we are all ghosts--every one of us." Henrik Ibsen Waldron Island by @sisterspooky1013 Visit beautiful Waldron Island: the vacation of your dreams. We Could Have Made Music by @discordantwords They are fifteen years old, hale and hearty and healthy, tall and pale and quiet as churchmice. They have grown up to the music of Six's madness, her sobs and sniffles and laughter, the scrape of teeth against metal, the rasp of teeth against skin, the sick sweet wet sounds of tearing flesh.

#fic rec #roundup #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #anon #asks

[silenced-judgement]

‧₊˚ ☾. ⋅ ⋯ 𝙿𝚊𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚗 𝚍𝚎𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚜; 𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚜

  ・．⸻⸻˖⁺‧̟⭒₊☠︎︎🦋☠︎︎₊ ˖⁺‧̟⭒⸻⸻．・

‧₊˚ ☾. ⋅ ⋯ 𝙰𝚜𝚜𝚘𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜

┊┊✧

┊✦

✧ .

Identified with Mors (Roman), and Letum (Roman)

Greek God/Personification of Non-Violent Death and mortality

Known Symbols: Inverted Torch, Sword, Theta (θ), Wreath, Wings

Plants and Trees: Poppy and Cypress

Animals: Butterflies

Stones/Crystals: Onyx, Obsidian, Black Tourmaline, Amethyst

Incense: Frankincense, Myrrh, Cypress

Colors: Black, Silver, White, Purple

Death 13 Tarot card

‧₊˚ ☾. ⋅ ⋯ 𝙴𝚙𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚝𝚜

┊┊✧

┊✦

✧ .

Paean "Healer"

Makar "Blessed one"

Leukokhrotos "White-skinned"

Acherontis "Woeful"

‧₊˚ ☾. ⋅ ⋯ 𝙵𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚢

┊┊✧

┊✦

✧ .

Son of Nyx, Night Incarnate

Grandson of Primordial Chaos

Twin Brother of Hypnos, Sleep Incarnate

Brother of The Moirai (Fates), Charon, The Keres, Nemesis

‧₊˚ ☾. ⋅ ⋯ 𝙾𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜

┊┊✧

┊✦

✧ .

Common offerings include: Red wine, olive oil, water, honey, milk, fruit, poppy seeds, black tea, dark chocolate

Other than that, play around a bit with different types of offerings and figure out what he likes, I've only offered him dark chocolate which was also torture to myself since I enjoy it as well, but thankfully he was understanding that I mean no disrespect if I ended up eating it (which I did), though now I have two bags of dark chocolate I got for Easter just sitting in my room unopened.

  ・．⸻⸻˖⁺‧̟⭒₊☠︎︎🦋☠︎︎₊ ˖⁺‧̟⭒⸻⸻．・

The rest of this will be of my own personal experiences with interacting with Thanatos, everyone has their own experiences so yours is likely not going to be the same. I will also include some things I personally associate with him.

  ・．⸻⸻˖⁺‧̟⭒₊☠︎︎🦋☠︎︎₊ ˖⁺‧̟⭒⸻⸻．・

‧₊˚ ☾. ⋅ ⋯ 𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚜

┊┊✧

┊✦

✧ .

As soon as I had reached out to Thanatos through my Tarot he answered almost immediately, however as someone who had only done a reading once and correctly translated Hestia's message to a friend who was confused on what she was trying to say I am not good with any other Tarot spread as the friend had used a custom spread that was similar in layout to a Yes/No spread. The type of spread I use is the Yes/No spread, where you lay out five (5) cards with Major Arcana and even number Minor Arcana being for "yes" and the Suits and odd numbered Minor Arcana being "no". Personally I prefer this as it's easier for me to understand with my silly little Autistic brain.

The first thing I did after connecting with him through Tarot was actually ask him how he was doing, I don't know why I chose to ask him that, but I said "yes is for if you're doing good, and no is for if you aren't" and then placed out my cards. His answer to me was "No" with a hidden message within the cards in order to explain to me that something didn't go well that day and he was upset, to which I replied with an apology for the fact he was feeling upset and then I asked him if he'd like to just hangout and sit with me the rest of the day, his answer was a yes and as soon as he answered I began crying. I'm naturally sensitive to the presences of beings that aren't exactly within our plane of existence; such as ghosts, spirits, demons, and deities, it's just with everything else besides deities I get a shortness of breath but all presences give me that same sort of tingly feeling one might get when they look down from somewhere up high or are in an elevator and it's going up/down.

From that single interaction alone I've learned that Thanatos is a rather kind individual and enjoys interacting with others. I always thought he was more of a reserved and quiet individual as one may think Death to be, and while he is rather quiet he's far from reserved. The best way to explain him is someone who wants to be around others but can easily become a bit anxious if he feels as if he's making the person uncomfortable and depending on his mood he can become rather introverted. If you feel like he's possibly becoming anxious over something the first time interacting with you, especially if you're as sensitive as I am to the presence of other beings, the best thing to do is reassure him that it's alright and he doesn't have to limit his interactions with you. I had told him near the end of the day that from now on he can come and hangout whenever he wants without me getting his attention first, but he instantly became unsure and worried that he'd overwhelm me due to my sensitivity. Thankfully he calmed down after I explained to him that I'm not overwhelmed and explained my sensitivity to him.

I've only seen him twice in some dreams, the first time he had gotten lost in it (as my dreams are chaotic and I can't control them if they choose to shift to something else) after like 10-20 minutes into the dream, but from that first appearance, he chose to appear as a mix of how he really looks like and the design of the character Thanatos from the game Hades. Turns out, after asking him about it the next day, he had chosen to appear that way just to mess with me and to be funny. Second dream I remember nothing about other than the fact he was there looking normal. Third dream he wasn't there but at the end of it he did send some butterflies in order to say hello.

Normally, Thanatos doesn't need to try and reach out to me, he's done so once through a butterfly, a few days after our dog had passed away but that was just to say hi and for no other reason. I had also drawn the Death Tarot, which was reversed but there was no hidden message. He seems content enough to come and sit with me without me knowing or to watch over me, plus most the time I'm the one suddenly getting his attention by talking to him at random and he's fully aware that due to my Autism and ADHD I wont exactly go and grab my Tarot to talk to him and is content with just listening, dealing with me being extremely random, or, something he did yesterday (28th) and yesterday night (27th) was sit directly next to me on my bed and lean in extremely close just to stare at my laptop screen. I'm unsure if he was trying to comfort me after Hecate scared the fuck out of me with a spider because I was paranoid and refused to sleep at all even after coming to an agreement that no more spiders will be sent into my bedroom with Hecate.

Based on that interaction, I feel as if Thanatos can become rather protective over people he's taken a liking to, his presence itself being rather warm, comforting, sometimes it's enough to make me feel like crying because suddenly all my anxieties, everything is just gone and I feel as if I don't have to worry about anything. Sometimes I'm unsure if I'm smelling lavender or some other floral scent, or even chamomile, which sometimes makes me think he's literally gone and gotten into my teas. I believe at times he's also gone and woken up Hypnos some nights just in order to get me to sleep. While writing this, I've felt warmth against my ear, cheek, felt peaceful, I smell a familiar scent that smells floral of some sort, so another thing is that Thanatos also seems to be rather curious once he's gotten used to someone. Although, as I don't find many people talking about their interactions with him, and based on how he told me that no one had ever really offered to let him just hangout whenever he wants with them before, I have a feeling that a lot of this is actually Thanatos feeling as if he is free to just be himself and that he's in a safe place because when I interact with him I don't see him as Death itself or as a literal Greek God/Deity, instead I treat him as if he's just like anyone else, I don't reach out to him for advice or help, I reach out to him because I genuinely enjoy interacting with him and I'm one of those few people who aren't afraid of death or dying, at least, not the concept of dying, as I would never do anything that actually puts me at a risk of death out of fear of being forgotten and also because I want to enjoy life as much as I can before it comes naturally.

I've also had a natural affinity towards death and the concept of an afterlife and Gods of Death, so to me, Death is a friend and is my friend, which I believe is why Thanatos interacts differently with me.

‧₊˚ ☾. ⋅ ⋯ 𝙿𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚘𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜

┊┊✧

┊✦

✧ .

Blue colored butterflies, specifically the Blue Morpho (for those who play Animal Crossing, it's the Emperor Butterfly, literally just learned it's actually called a Blue Morpho. Although the Ulysses Butterfly is also called an Emperor Butterfly or the Blue Emperor and is a swallowtail butterfly)

Red Spider Lilies (Japanese flowers associated with death)

That silly "guh-dong" sound that happens when you get a "Death Approaches" area in the game Hades.

White roses

  ・．⸻⸻˖⁺‧̟⭒₊☠︎︎🦋☠︎︎₊ ˖⁺‧̟⭒⸻⸻．・

#hellenic deities #deity work #greek gods #greek deity #hellenic polytheism #hellenic polythiest #hellenism #hellenic pagan #thanatos worship #thanatos devotee

[jenniferjareauwife]

It's Just Hard

pairing: jennifer jareau x cowgirl fem reader

category: fluff, hurt/comfort

warnings: symptoms of depression

word count: 781

summary: you've been feeling down and can't seem to get a hold of your long distance girlfriend and can't talk to her about how you're feeling until she comes to visit

I threw my phone across the room after JJ declined my call again with a short text.

Honey 🍯- Sorry babe. Busy with a case

I pulled my knees up to my chest and tugged at my braid. This wasn't fair. I knew it wasn't her fault that she was so busy with cases but I needed her. I didn't mean to but I broke down crying. All I needed was someone to talk to but I didn't have anyone.

A few days later I texted her late at night, not being able to sleep due to my racing mind.

texas hold 'em 🤠- hey. you up

Honey 🍯- Yeah. Why? What's up?

texas hold 'em 🤠- can't sleep

Honey 🍯- I'm sorry

Honey 🍯- Anything I can do to help?

texas hold 'em 🤠- r u still coming saturday

Honey 🍯- Of course

Honey 🍯- Babe what's wrong?

I wanted to tell her I just needed someone to talk to but I didn't have the guts to. I had never been good at saying what I needed, especially when it came to mental health.

texas hold 'em 🤠- nothing

Honey 🍯- You're sure?

texas hold 'em 🤠- yeah

Honey 🍯- Ok. Well I'm going to sleep, ok?

texas hold 'em 🤠- ok

texas hold 'em 🤠- goodnight i love you

Honey 🍯- I love you too :)

I fell asleep, imagining that she was right next to me.

I picked her up at the airport two days later, hugging her so tight neither of us could breathe. "Baby- too tight." I loosened my grip with a frown but didn't let her see it.

"Sorry."

"It's ok." She put her arm over my shoulders as we made our way to my car. She noticed I was a bit quiet. "Hey...you ok?"

"Yeah. Fine." I cleared my throat and leaned into her a bit more. I could tell she didn't buy it. She was a profiler after all.

She waited until we were home to ask again. We were cuddled up on the couch and she wanted to get up to find the remote but I really just needed hugs from her right now. "Y/n. Are you ok?" The sincerity in her tone made me a bit nervous.

"I..."

"Baby if somethings wrong I need you to tell me, ok? I don't like it when you don't tell me this stuff." She rubbed my thigh slowly, her face mere inches from mine. I leaned forward and tucked my head into her neck, hugging her tightly. She was quick to hug me back.

"It's just hard." I mumbled.

"What's hard?"

"I've just been...really sad recently I guess." I could barely hear myself.

"Sad about what?"

"I don't even know. Just sad."

"Like depressed sad or just sad?"

"I don't know the difference." I snuggled into her even more, wanting to be as close as possible to her. "It's hard to get out of bed though...cause I don't wanna do anything."

"Oh baby...why didn't you tell me earlier my love, I would've come down here earlier."

"Cause you were so busy and I didn't want to bother you."

"You can never bother me hon." I realized she was twisting my hair into a braid as she spoke. I sighed, looking up at her.

"I've never really told anyone about my feelings, you know? I guess I didn't think you'd care."

"I care. I always care. Even cowgirls have feelings, y'know?" I giggled at her joke, tucking my face in her neck again.

"Yeah...I have feelings."

"And it's ok for you to talk about them, I encourage it, ok?" I nodded, knowing she wanted an answer.

"Can we go to bed?" I asked quietly. "I really want to cuddle...properly."

"Does cuddling help you?" She asked, picking me up and taking me to my bedroom.

"Mhm." I got on top of her, using her as my own personal mattress, making her giggle. I had made it known from the start of our relationship that I really liked physical touch, but only with certain people.

"I want you to tell me whenever you're feeling like this, ok? I wanna be here for you." She lightly ran her fingertips up and down my back, kissing my temple as she mumbled her words against my skin. "I don't like to see you sad."

"Well I don't like being sad." She sighed and wrapped her arms around me. "You make it better though."

"I do?" I felt her smile against my temple.

"Mhm."

"I'm glad."

"Thanks for...being here...letting me talk to you. I needed it."

"Of course my love. Anytime."

"I love you...so much."

"I love you so much more."

#x reader #criminal minds #jennifer jareau #jennifer jareau x reader #wlw post #lgbtq #jennifer jareau x you

[sirenmoth]

Monster Mash - Drider

CW: Bondage, body worship, vaginal fingering, restraints, cum smearing, scent marking, scent marking via cum, spider anatomy, cum insertion, (i promise it makes sense), (literally looked up if spiders have dicks and how spider sex works)

Sorry for the delay, personal stuff happened but im working on the next two chapters when possible

AO3

Monster Mash Masterlist

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Legs sore and trembling like a newborn fawn learning to walk for the first time since opening its eyes, sleep still heavy and ever present on your mind as you try and traverse the massive manor you all share using the walls as support, still as naked as the day you were born. The sudden sound of quickly fast approaching scuttling footsteps and a pair of drow arms around your bruised waist alert you of a new presence as you are lifted into the air.

The relief you feel once you are off your feet, legs no longer shaking to keep you up-right, as the drider carries you away and towards his web, gently placing you into the centre like an ornate piece of porcelain, closing your eyes and letting yourself sink down into the sticky mass of string below. Your mind barely registers your limbs being moved around, lovingly and carefully being tied and secured in place by the driders own silk.

Eight spider legs and a set of drow arms come into peripheral vision as the drider climbs into his own web, taking his spot between your spread legs. Eight sets of eyes, six spider and two drow, borrow deep into your skull, never once looking away as the drider takes in his work.

A soft chitter echoes in your brain, "Still awake, my dear?" A breathy chuckle follows his question, "We are far from done, I think you and I are going to have a lot of fun." He says, nipping at the bite marks on your neck and shoulders, his silver snow-white hair falls over his shoulders, the light from the window casting a dull halo around it. "He just loves to ruin you for us, doesn't he, takes all the run out of it." None of them used each other's name, a way of showing their still burning distaste for each other.

The drider starts to rearrange your limbs once more, moving you this way and that until he finds the perfect positions for you to be relaxed and comfort, and for him to worship you and love you. Once your arms are resecured and restrained once again by his soft silk string, he moved onto your legs, replacing them, so your knees were pulled up close to your legs and spread open as wide as they could be. Small click and chirps of approval leave the drider mouth as he works, clearly pleased with his work and your compliance.

With your arms above and legs spread, nothing was left to the imagine, more than it usually was. You lie your head back into the web, the room the drider picked and claimed as his nest was always warm, despite being in a drafty attic, must be all the tightly-packed webbing the covers every corner and wall.

He covers your body with his, his torso slotting between your immobile legs, his spider legs curls under his spider abdomen as his drow arms trace the marks that dot your body left behind by the vampire, tiny hisses and grumbles can be heard every time he examines and assesses a new one.

"He does this on purpose, knows how sore you get after he feed, knows we have to go easy or wait until you heal enough." He tsks as he traces a bruising mark on your hip, "Don't worry, my darling light, I'll be gentle. Make this all about you." The drider kisses a huge mark where your neck and your shoulder conjoin, a bright red now turned blue-ish purple hue, carefully places his hands on your damaged thighs, lightly kneading the flesh, mindful of the bloomed bruises and healing bites that litter your skin.

Rolling your head to the side as your drider leaves a trail of kisses up your neck, his mandibles that sit where his drow half connects to the spider half move lightly, the small fangs at the ends of them gracefully dancing along your lower abdomen just above your cunt, careful not to puncture your skin. Soft kisses are placed just below your left ear, like the drider is trying to fix the marks your vampire lover left.

Those eight eyes always looking in your direction whenever you are near, no matter what either you two are doing, observing your action. He worships you like he would his drider queen, but only you have the pleasures of begging with him.

Little butterfly kisses are pressed against your temple and check, a small distraction while his finger trail downwards towards your dripping slit, tapping your clit with featherlight touches, you softly whimper at the feeling, mind still foggy from sleep and the soft silk webbing underneath was only adding to your delirious mindset. Unable to move due to the strands of silk that weave over and under your legs, you can only lay there and take it as the driders move lower, teasing your entrance. Twitching and squirming as the drider timidly plays with you.

You are like a fly, stuck in a spider's web, waiting in anticipation as the spider plays with you until it decides to devour you. Slowly, the drider slides three fingers into you with no warning, your body accepting him with ease. He pushes and pulls and presses at the sensitive nerve deep inside you, calculated strokes to make you fall apart all over again but to ensure you aren't hurt, the drider mandibles toy with your clit, nibbling and nipping at the exposed nerve while he studies you expressions, watching you moan and whimper, watching your attempts to squirm as you beg for more, for him to move faster.

Your drider takes pleasure in treating you like the most precious thing in the world, something that could break so easily, and he found joy in making you break while he had you tied up like this and his fingers deep inside you as your mind shatters in pleasure, sometimes he would use one of the toys you have, though him and the other eight never understood why you have toys when you have them, all you had to was ask, and they'd let you ride them or fuck you, or you fuck them, until you were satisfied. They do admit it is fun using the toys on you while they do their thing, they never use them as they do nothing for them.

One of the driders hands cups your left breast, squeezing the mound of flesh and pulling at the nipple between his fingers, tugging after each squeeze to create an unwavering, rhythmic sensation that sends euphoric shockwaves through your body. His fingers and hand move in opposite tandem of each other, when his fingers pull out his hand squeezes, slow and calculated, as he leaves small barely noticeable marks over the previous ones.

"So soft, your skin feels like the finest silk ever to exist," the drider mutters into your neck before biting over a mark the vampire left, "and all only for me." They all shared their own and mutual possession over you, displayed through the words they spoke while having a few fingers or a cock, sometimes cocks, pumping inside you, trying to outdo each other with their mark and claims.

Your whimpering and moaning only fanned the flame, the drider fingers sped up to a leg-shaking pace, or what would be if you could move your legs.

Low hums as the drider worships you and your moans fill his web as he coaxes you to cum on his fingers, "That's it, my darling, cum all over my fingers, mark me as yours." The squeezes on your breast grew more aggressive as his fingers move impossibly faster, the butterfly kisses turn into bites. You scream as you cum hard around his fingers as he curls them just right to hit your g-spot, your hole tightening as the mandibles stop their tweaking on your clit, resting against it as you catch your breath.

"So good, looked so pretty for me, so beautiful." The drider remarks, pulling his fingers out to admire your mess, mesmerized by the glimmer of white slick coating his fingers and the way it caught in the light. Bringing the slick covered fingers up to his mouth, he runs his tongue over the digits while keeping eye contact with you. Once he deems his fingers clean enough, he leans over you, "Lay back now, going to reposition you." He whispers into your right ear, you can do nothing but submit as he readjusts you, pulling you lower half high, so your sopping entrance lines up with his clicking mandibles, another chip and soft click once he finds the right placement.

You feel one of the fangs tracing your cunt, flinching at it as it runs up and down, collecting your cum. The drider pins you down under his drow half so he can work undisturbed, one of his hands stays put, playing with your hair while the other collects some of his own cum, letting it drip and run down your body, painting white streak with it across your skin as you try and piece together what the drider has planned. "Going to make you smell like me once I'm done, both inside and out, you'd look so breathtaking dripping with my cum."

Another kiss pressed just behind your ear, "See them try and get rid of my claim now."

One fang carefully slips into you, barely more than a few centimetres, while the other recoils in on itself, his free hand exploring your body like it's brand new to him all over again. The wetness between your thigh grows, you lift your head to watch as the fang that recoiled in returns with a clump of drider cum, pushing it into your gummy walls, quickly the drider reinserts his fingers back into you, forcing the large goop of white substance further into you, only retreating when the opposite fang wants to add its own ball of cum to the mix.

Your head falls back onto the web as your lover repeats the same process, the mixture of slick building between your thigh runs down and pass your ass, onto the web below to combine with the silk, making it near impossible to tell what's web and what's not. "Cum for me again, my love, I know you can do it." The drider murmurs, forcing your dreary head back up to watch as one of the mandibles insert another large goop of seman into you, the drider picks up what didn't make it in and smears it on to your skin. You watch as fangs switch, left right, left, right, the drider re-entering the same three fingers back into you between the pattern, fingering his cum far into you.

Your legs shake in the restraints, your hole clamping down on the drider fingers as your mouth falls open in a silent scream of ecstasy as you cum hard on his fingers, the drider slows down until he deems his cum is deep enough, only then does he pull his fingers out. More kisses are left on your cheeks and the hand comes up from your cunt to stroke your hip, your cum joining to the messy streak on you, the driders warmth bleeds into your own as you both lay chest to chest with each other, staying in this position even after you've both calmed down, his arms around you and his legs under his abdomen.

"Hey, are you going to untie me now? My limbs are going numb."

"Oh right. Sorry, my love."

#drider x reader #drider x human #monster smut #monster lover #monsterfucking #monster fucker #monster boyfriend #monsterfucking cw #cw monsterfucking #monsterfucking nsft #monsterfucker #terat0philliac #terato #teratophillia #exophelia

[cleverthylacine]

Ship and HC what you want--but I hate Ravage & Soundwave parent-child headcanons so much. I'm finally gonna say it. They can be adult best friends rather than lovers, but the family thing makes my skin crawl. Here's why.

The following is just my personal opinion. Everyone who reads this is free to engage with it, but I don't want to fight about it, and I am not trying to make anyone give up their headcanons, whether those are romantic, sexy, familial, or just friendly.

(The Ravage I write in my fics and RP, like ES Ravage, prefers she/her pronouns. I am aware that Ravage uses he/him in other continuities.)

I am really freaking uncomfortable with most of the common familial headcanons about Soundwave and Ravage, Soundwave and his cassettes in general, and the whole cassette thing. And I will also die screaming before I tag erotic content between two fully sapient beings as "bestiality".

I would rather think of Ravage and Soundwave as bonded lovers (and the birds as her siblings) then think of Soundwave as either of the following:

An Abusive Father who sends his own children directly into the heat of battle out to fight as child soldiers; or

A Large Adult Son who allows his parent and her siblings to be mutilated so he can drag her off into places like mining colonies and war zones, where she ministers to his emotional needs while also fighting for him in the heat of battle, and has no life or relationships of her own.

Because no matter how many cat memes you draw, neither of those things is cute. You have the right to ship whatever you want to ship same as me, but I don't want to read either dynamic.

He is NOT the single father of the year if he's yeeting his children onto battlefields.

He is NOT a good son if his mother is telepathically linked to him, programmed so that he can yeet her out into battlefields in less than a second, and unable to have any romantic or QP partnerships of her own.

If he is her lover (conjunx) or her QPP (amica), and the meeting they had in Rodion was a meeting of two neurodivergent adults who learned how to help and support each other in dealing with their disabilities, and they both want to be together even in the depths of hell, then they have a much less horrific and unhealthy relationship.

I was once made to play IDW Ravage as not Soundwave's partner in a dreamwidth game because they didn't like the ship, and she was a miserable, unhappy person who had given up her entire life to serve Soundwave and Megatron.

This really solidified my feelings about not just why I think their relationship is romantic and adorable, but also why I think a parental relationship between them, going in either direction, is incredibly fucking gross.

Making them mutually interdependent neurodiverse adults with complementary support needs, who love each other in a mature way or even an 'adult' way changes the narrative.

If Ravage is Soundwave's life partner, then the forced cassettification has imposed a power differential on them, but it is significantly lessened by the fact that they were already together and interacting as grown-ass adults who loved each other before that took place.

In other scenarios, she's being thrown by her father up against mechs 4 times her size, OR she's a devoted parent who has been emotionally enslaved by cassettification and can't even have an adult relationship of her own because who the hell is going to want to be her partner knowing that she has an unbreakable telepathic link with her son? And you can't really say she's trading this emotional labour for protection when he's yeeting her out into the front lines every third episode.

IDK, I think glorifiying parents who send their children to war and enmeshed parenting that renders someone an appendage to their child is a lot less problematic than letting them meet as adults and learn how to help one another.

Every time I see someone draw humanformer Soundwave and Ravage as a collared pet, I want to scream, but I don't, because everyone has the right to write and draw what makes them happy.

My friends know NOT to send me links to art that diminishes Ravage.

Ravage may look like a cat, but she passes the Harkness test, and her entire arc in IDW was about getting people to respect her as an equal despite the thing where she looks like a cat.

Her brain and spark are equal to that of any other Cybertronian. It's not bestiality. There's no reason a telepath would care more about the shape of her body than the feel of her mind.

I would rather think that she's getting love and respect and hot overloads from Soundwave than think that she's selflessly devoted to him and to Megatron for all of her days until Tarn locks her into that fucking refrigerator. Or think that she's a child soldier.

#ravage/soundwave #ravage & soundwave #suck on this antis #ship manifesto #ravage #tf ravage

[campingwiththecharmings]

me whenever someone gives me unsolicited opinions about myself:

#thinking about the time a friend of mine did this #and she does this a lot bc she's older and ofc sees herself as 'more knowledgeable' or w/e #which hey sometimes she is #mostly i take her opinions with a grain of salt but she said something to me recently that just #idk it rubbed me the wrong way. and i keep thinking about it. #ider what we were talking about but somehow we got on the subject of romantic relationships #and i basically said i'm not opposed to one but i'm NOT looking. like at ALL. not even a little bit. #but if something happens someday great! #she proceeds to tell me literally right after i say this #that i should work on my appearance then because i'm 'a little plain'. not ugly or anything just...plain. #which hey i know already btw and it doesn't really bother me #i wear make up and am not against it at all. i think it's amazing to see what people can do with it tbh. #and if people wanna wear it i'm all for it #i personally don't like the way it feels on my skin so i use as little as possible #just enough to cover things like my acne scars or other imperfections that i feel self conscious about #i'd love to get to a point where i feel comfortable NOT wearing make up actually #and that's not even to say that i'd NEVER get dolled up or whatever #it's just not something i enjoy doing on a regular basis ya know? #and honestly? any future partner i have should be aware of that bc you're gonna get plain ol' non-makeup-wearing me 99% of the time #and if that's a problem with them then i don't even wanna waste my time on them #so yeah when she said this to me i was annoyed #bc fr wtf does that have to do with me not looking for a partner??? lol #*sigh* ik she was probably just trying to help in her own way but like #just don't k? k. #/rant #sorry i had to get that out somewhere lmao #it's been driving me crazy #ignore me

[caffeinatedopossum]

Events of last night:

Me: *crying*

My girlfriend: what's wrong?? :(

Me: *struggling to form words* intrusive thoughts are bad... I don't want to talk about them because then I'm scared that they're true and you might think I'm awful

My girlfriend: ah I actually get that. I have those a lot. It doesn't mean anything though, intrusive thoughts are just like dreams. Like the things you do in them aren't really things you want to do, it's just stuff your brain comes up with.

#we then very heavily related over having the same intrusive thoughts and now I'm suspicious #thinking about when i told her i might have ocd and she said i didnt #and starting to feel like thats because... what if we both have ocd #it seems like she was basing her entire knowledge of conditions on people shes known with those conditions. which makes sense #but the person/ people with ocd had severe cleaning compulsions and the like #where as me and her obsess much more over morality #like its very clear we think about it so much. and idk what to do with that information #we both feel like the intrusive thoughts and obsessive ruminating are the only things that keep is from being bad people #or that prevent us from being bad people i guess. idk why that wording is just slightly more accurate #like people who dont think about these things (apparently all 'normal' people since this could be *an actual disorder*) #they're not constantly analyzing. trying to be aware. asking themselves questions about their true nature. judging those answers #theyre not really doing that with other people either. of course i could be wrong since im very clearly not a normal person. #but this is what i mean! im speculating about other people and acknowledging the ways i could be wrong and just trying to figure it all out #but it seems like no one does that and it doesnt *make them* bad people. it just doesn't prevent them from that happening either #like theyre just as likely to hurt people as the 'bad' person thats thinking the same way they are #and i cant ever be comfortable with me living that reality even when *this reality* is a waking nightmare #sure im tearing my skin off (good ole skin picking disorder) when im thinking about these things. sure im crying. sure i can't sleep. #sure it makes me feel like im constantly a horrible person and need to attone for everything ive done and havent done #sure. but then i turn around and say its helping me. because why else would my brain torture me? isnt it always about protecting me? #i don't know. all i know is who i dont want to be and what i dont want. so that exactly what my brain convinces me is real #i guess what it kinda comes to do is #would you rather live a reality where everything around you is superficial. your thoughts behaviors and thoughts. your reactions #all of them are things youre never aware of. you could be hurting people or you could be helping themm #you could even be hurting yourself. but you would never know. its a comfortable reality that youre never really aware of #OR would you rather live a reality aware of all those things. seeking answers and sometimes finding them. #trying your hardest to help others and better yourself and fix the broken things in this world #your reality is one where you recognize every threat that no one else does and it kills you inside because they wont always listen #theyre comfortable and you're stuck in a reality where you try and try and try but even when you succeed #your brain forms its own reality. a metaphorical jail. where you never get to experience the reality you fought so hard for #instead you exist in this sort of purgatory where you live out your own worst fears and the worst ways you could have failed

[moe-broey]

Playing Awakening as a guy (ESPPP a transguy) is so funny like. Immune to the universal experience of Chrom marriage jumpscare. Falling in love with Chrom anyway because his supports with m!Robin are SO GOOD. Mentally in my head in my heart I'm co-parenting Lucina she is also my daughter. Bonus points if you get extra funky in your head where you ship Maribelle/Lissa and Chrom/Gaius, marry Maribelle because you love her and have Lissa marry Gaius because they're pretty cute but also have it all be like. We're all bearding for each other. Olivia is there too bc she is the funniest option and adds to Chrom's disaster bisexual vibes.

And then you decide "Well next run I'm romancing Chrom because I love him I am making A Point to romance him" either make an OC or play as default Robin and. Get HORRIFICALLY MORTIFYINGLY jumpscared by Chrom's supports with f!Robin SO BAD YOU'RE GONNA THROW UP ABOUT IT (ESP AS A TRANSGUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

And to this day you have NOT married Chrom and the only way you could ever feel comfortable marrying Chrom is to hack your 3DS

#fire emblem #fe:a #like i've played w the idea of doing a default f robin run and intentionally triggering the jumpscare #to just skip over all that. #but honestly personally it makes me SO uncomfortable like SO VIOLENTLY uncomfortable i. i can't. #also it's. incredibly difficult to pick a wife for chrom. like. we've got two women i cannot see as anything but lesbians #another woman who i see as wlw but also has. THE WORST HETERONORMATIVE SUPPORTS OF ALL TIME #like it makes my skin CRAWL #and then. we have. a girl he just met but she's so cute and if she lap dances enough to get C support #AND if you put chrom in the chamber with no women in it. that's it that's his wife now #OH AND. AND. THE SECRET EVIL OPTION. VILLAGE GIRL WITH A STEEL CHAIR #also yeah when i marry maribelle it's like. queerplatonic. in my head. #i love my wife so much she can do whatever she wants (be with lissa) #not in a cuck way but like i am shaking her hand deeply in love with her and both of us are victims of the time #and also i'm in love with chrom. so. it all works out. #anyways i don't think fire emblem was made with people like me in mind LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO #AND YET. HERE I AM. IT HAS BEEN MY PRIMARY FIXATION FOR YEARS NOW. #also the only reason i haven't hacked my 3ds is bc i'm lazy. lmfao. distracted as well. #i have done it once (my old one and for acnl) and i WILL do it again (when. i feel like it.) #chrom

[thousand-winters]

It doesn't even bother me that I've become a vain person. I will look at a mirror and go "damn, I'm pretty" and I feel no shame at all about that. After so many damn years of feeling I would never be pretty because colorism is a bitch and I'm not white, I think I fucking deserve this. I'm gorgeous, actually. Fight me.

#personal #don't mind me. just thinking about my character development while checking that my grom outfit looks good ahdnsbdnd #like you don't understand. at 6 I was already feeling like shit bc I'm the darkest one of the women of my family #at some point in middle school I wore a headband with a bow on it and I was mocked to death for being 'burned snow white' #my father would constantly say he would get me this or that product to make my skin lighter #it's so weird. so fucking stupid. I'm so so pissed about it and I get to enjoy not feeling that way anymore #in other news I can't use eyeshadow without looking like a 5yo that got into their mom's make up lmao #in my defense I literally started trying yesterday. oh darius. the shit I do for you agdkabdnd

[nanaslutt]

oh my god please make another part of gojo teaching us that was so good holy shit

Gojo teaches you how to touch him<3

Pt. 1 here

contains: fem reader, guided jerking off, experienced gojo, size kink if you squint, so much dirty talk, corruption kink, overstimulation, first time making out, gojo walks you through everything, cum eating

MDNI

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔

“Wanna learn how to touch a dick?” his question rang in your ears like a flash grenade had gone off. He was referring to himself right? You had to remind yourself how to breathe at how anxious his question made you. Touching yourself had made you embarrassed and self aware enough as it is, so touching someone else? The thought made you feel mortified.

Gojo must’ve picked up on your anxiousness because he used his big hands to rub comfortingly up and down your forearms, “Hey, if you’re not comfortable we can always stop here, you’ve already done so good.” He comforted.

Gojo might be unserious 99% of the time, but when it came to making you feel safe, he really nailed it. You came to the right person in asking for help with this kind of thing.

"N-no, I think I want to its just.. I dont know what im doing." You confess, even though he already knew. Gojo giggled, making the weight on your shoulders lift a bit at the sound, "Baby, I know, thats why Im gonna teach you, if you’ll let me." He smiles, leaning his body forward so you could see his face-- the visual of him smiling eased your nerves slightly.

"Right.. but what if I'm still not any good?" You say, shyly. "I almost came in my pants just watching you cum so.. I'm pretty sure you will do juuust fine." He confessed, making you huff out a laugh. "O-okay, what should I do?" You asked, turning your body so you were facing him, reaching over to grab your previously discarded panties while you waited for him to answer.

"The first thing you can do is forget about these," Gojo took your soaked panties from your hand, making you scoff as he twirled them around his finger before pocketing the fabric as quick as he snatched them, "The view of your little pussy is so cute, don't want these to get in the way of this eye candy." He praised, making you blush and look away from his intimidating gaze.

He brought his hand up to your face after pulling his hand out of his pocket-- caressing the side of your cheek comfortingly, "Come here." He instructed, sliding down on the headboard so he was propped comfortingly against the pillows, "On my lap," He adds when you hesitate to move twords him.

You situated yourself comfortably on his thighs, right under his crotch, you placed your hands on his lower stomach, staring at his intimidating bulge while you waited for his words to come. "You wanna start by touching it over his pants, just like you did for yourself." He instructs, speaking generally.

You picked your hands up from his stomach, hovering them a couple inches over his crotch before taking a deep breath and biting your lip. "How should I.. touch it?" you ask uncertainty laced in your words. "Wrap your hand around it the best you can and rub," He tells you, placing his hands on your thighs and rubbing his thumb on your skin for comfort.

You held your breath before you made contact with him, making him hiss air into his lungs through his teeth at the feeling of properly being touched after so much tension. You softly rubbed him up and down, gulping at how big he felt in your hand. "You can rub a little harder, it's not gonna break," He laughed, making you blush and whisper out a quiet 'sorry' as you briefly made eye contact with him, quickly averting your gaze back down to his crotch.

You gripped him through his pants, stroking him rougher now but still slowly, up and down. You took a peek at his face from under your lashes, watching him lick his lips and blink rapidly, his eyes focused on your hand at work on him.

"Yeah, yeah, just like that." He praised, keeping his eyes glued down between the two of you. You felt your face heat up when his cock jumped against your hand, it felt so hot even through his pants. The thought of seeing a real dick, unobstructed by fabric was making your head spin.

The man underneath you truly thought he would've came the second you touched him, it was a miracle from the heavens that he had managed to hold back and not bust in his pants at the first contact.

Your inexperience turned him on to no extent. He just loved the idea of corrupting you, showing you all of the amazing things you could feel, everything that you've been missing out on. He swore he would ruin you for anyone else—make you addicted to him so you never even thought about doing this with anyone else.

"D-does this feel good?" You ask genuinely, you had noticed his expressions and reactions to your touch—and they seemed like good ones—but you had no idea how someone was supposed to react when you touched them like this, hence why you asked for his confirmation.

"Feels better than you know." He grinned, his body running warmer the longer you stroked him over his pants. "It feels so big." You confessed, unaware of how your words went straight to his head and dick.

"Yeah?" his smirk grew as he felt his own ego inflate at your words, not like he needed that. "Yeah.." You meekly replied, "It keeps twitching too," you told him like he was unaware. "I know baby, means you're doing a good job." He praised once more, making you pull your bottom lip between your teeth.

"Wanna see it?" He asked after he deemed that you had been touching him outside his pants for an adequate amount of time. You swallowed hard, stilling your hand on his cock as it continued to jump under the weight of your palm. "Yes, please." You answered, sliding your hands up his shirt and feeling his hard abs before you slid them back down to hold onto the hem of his pants. "Should I take your boxers off too, or?" You question, hesitating.

He smiled at you, giving you a short nod. You grabbed his pants and boxers alike, beginning to pull them down his body— gojo lifted his hips up to aid your efforts, jaw dropping in an open-mouthed smile when his hard cock sprung up and slapped against his abdomen.

Your mouth opened in a small o shape, running dry at the sheer size of his now unobstructed cock. There was a string of pre that had already dropped down against his abdomen, connecting the two.

It looked as thick as it felt, a nice upwards curve to it, and the tip was flushed a pretty pink color. It was the prettiest and only dick you’d ever seen.

“You like what you see, cutie?” he teased, making his cock jump as you stared between the appendage and his penetrating gaze. “Fuck.. y-yeah.” you confessed, feeling yourself start to throb between your legs at the new visual.

“Go ahead an touch it, the same as you did before.” Gojo instructed. You slowly reached out, wrapping your hand around his length, noticing that your fingers couldn’t wrap all the way around his girth.

The man underneath you couldn’t resist as he thrusted his hips up into your hand, biting his lip at the direct contact. “Your hand is so fucking soft” He praised, “Go ahead and spit on it for me, it doesn’t feel very good when it’s dry.” he told you.

The gears in your head were still turning at what you were actually doing right now. Without saying anything, you leaned down a bit, collecting the saliva in your mouth before you spit right onto his cockhead, making him gasp.

You brought your hand to his tip, rubbing it around in circles before sliding your hand down the length of his cock and coating it in your spit, easing the slide. “Fuuuck, just like that, shit-“ Gojo cursed, tipping his head back against the pillows and squeezing his eyes shut.

“S-squeeze harder at the tip,” he instructed, remembering he was supposed to be teaching you, so staying silent and moaning probably wouldn’t do you much good. “T-the tip is more sensitive than the rest of the cock, so make sure to pay more attention to it.” he tells you.

“Is it kinda like the clit?” You ask, which makes him giggle before he responds, “Sorta..” he answeres, staring at the ceiling in thought before he continues, “Yeah actually, pretty similar, but if you spend too much time on just the tip it can get a little too sensitive.” He explains.

“Sensitive how?” you ask, continuing your slow but heavy strokes on his cock, using the knowledge he just told you in squeezing harder against his tip. “Why don’t I show you?” he says.

“Take one hand and keep stroking me just like you’re doing, with the other, lay your palm flat- yeah just like that- then curl your hand over the entirety of my tip, and rotate your wrist in circles.” Gojo instructed, digging his nails into your thighs prematurely as he braced himself for the intense overstimulating pleasure that was about to come.

“This won’t hurt you right?” you ask, getting your hands into place but keeping them still as you awaited his answer. “You’re so sweet~” he cooed, “I’ll stop you if it’s too much.”

With that, you started, quickly jerking the length of his cock while rotating your wrist over his dick in quick circles. Immediately his body started reacting, back arching and abs clenching uncontrollably as he bit his lip and dug his nails deeper into your skin to keep himself grounded.

“K- haaah- keep g-going-“ he moaned out, his legs jerking and twitching underneath you as you kept up your antics. “Fuck! f-fuck-“ The white haired man squeezed his eyes shut as his body spasmed without his permission.

Your cunt was throbbing at how you were able to bring a man as strong as Gojo to this state. “Ngh~” he was whining and moaning against the sheets, head thrashing back and forth as he tried to keep his voice down.

You never wanted this to end, you finally understood what he meant when he said he was worked up from just watching you play with yourself, as you felt your cunt clench, slick dripping down your leg from your tight hole.

His large hand came down to stop your wrist, panting heavily he spoke, “O-okay, okay- fuck, that’s enough.” He groaned when the pleasure quickly became too much. "S-sorry, are you okay?" you choked, once again making him smile at how sweet you were. "I'm just fine baby, it's just a little overwhelming," He said, releasing your wrist and placing his hand back on your thighs.

"Did so fucking good though, listened just like I told you to." He smirked, gripping your thighs and making you look up at him through your lashes. You pouted out your bottom lip a bit in embarrassment, trying your best to not look away from his intimidating gaze. "Alright, class is back in session, go ahead and pick up where you left off." He continued.

You released your hand that was caressing his tip, going back to jerking him off steadily with the one hand. "Don't forget about the balls either, you just wanna massage them softly," he instructs after a couple seconds of your continued ministrations. You nod, acknowledging his words before you spit on your other hand, and bring it down to his warm balls.

"Oh shit- haha- didn't even have to tell you to spit." He says, amazement laced in his words, "You had n-nothing to worry about, you're doing so fucking good." He reassured when you started to expertly roll and massage his sack in your hand, timing your motions perfectly with the jerking of his cock.

"Cmere baby," He asked, growing needier and needier at the more stimulation you provided him with. You tilted your head at him, confused, making him laugh. "Come give me a kiss, pretty thing." He clarifies. You hesitate slightly, You've kissed one or two people before, but you've never made out with anyone per se, which is what you were assuming Gojo wanted right now.

"Follow my lead, I'll show you how to make kissing feel as good as sex." He boldly said, making you blush. You released your hold on his balls, opting to place your hand against his hard chest for stability as you leaned forward, not stopping your ministrations on his cock. He gave you a toothy grin, his big hands coming up to grab your waist before he opened his mouth, huffing out a small laugh before he pressed your lips together.

He immediately took the lead, moving his lips against your own, massaging his soft lips with his. He groaned into the kiss, which made you reciprocate the sound, whining into his mouth. Where you normally would've pulled away by now, Gojo instead opened his mouth against you and pressed another kiss to your lips, repeating the action, and continuing the kiss.

You unawarely squeezed his cock harder at the stimulation, you had no idea that kissing could feel so erotic. When Gojo felt your fist tighten up around him, he pulled back half an inch from the kiss, panting slightly against your lips before he spoke needily, "Faster baby, give it to me faster." He rushed before conjoining your lips once more, rougher this time.

You felt him poke his tongue out and lick against your lips, "Open your mouth for me, baby," He said to you between kisses, to which you complied. He took this new opportunity to lick his tongue into your mouth. You thought French kissing would feel gross and unpleasant, but this was nothing of the sort, it really felt like he was fucking your mouth. He expertly massaged the inside of your mouth with his warm appendage, making you throb between your legs.

You remembered his words; which had told you to follow his lead; as you reciprocated, darting your tongue out and intertwining it with his, and it felt even better. "Mmmmm" Gojo hummed against your lips when he felt your tongue join the fun. Hips lips suddenly attached to your bottom one, slowing down the kiss briefly as he sucked it into his mouth and bit it between his teeth, smirking before he let it go, chasing your lip as it bounced back to your face.

You had switched up your technique on his cock just seconds ago, rotating your wrist over his entire cock, and pulsing your grip to imitate your pussy walls, giving him harder strokes when you slid your hand down him; you were having fun with it, and it must've been working.

Gojo pulled away from the kiss, allowing you to sit back up as he panted heavily, his cock was steadily dripping more and more pre onto your fingers, easing the slide against his cock while you jerked him off. "Did you like that?" He asked, referring to the kiss. "Y-yeah, I didn't know kissing could feel so good," you replied honestly, making him smile.

"I know~ made your pussy feel all needy again, huh?" he said, having noticed the wetness that was coating your inner thighs, his words sending a wave of sudden awareness through you, making you want to cower away. "Aww, don't get shy on me baby, look at me," He started, "I'm the one getting my cock jerked off, about to fucking burst," The man giggled, "If anyone should be embarrassed it's me~"

"You're about to cum?" You asked, those words being the only ones that made it into your dizzy head. "Yeah, and it's all cos' of you, didn't even have to give you that much i-instruction, you're a pro." he praised, making you look away from his gaze and instead focus on his cock in your smaller hand. "You wanna make me cum?" He asked.

"Wanna watch you cum.." You replied, making him laugh breathlessly as he felt your words go straight to his balls, "Oh don't worry, you will," He informed you, tipping his head back once more against the pillows, and letting himself really feel as you stroked your fingertips along his lower abs, while keeping the steady and mind numbing pace on his cock.

"Fuck, wish I was cuming inside your pussy," He suddenly moaned, catching you off guard with his words as he gripped your hips with his large hands. "Would fill you up so fucking full." He babbled, inching closer and closer to his high with every stroke, slightly thrusting up into your warm hand.

proofread-----

"If I try hard enough, your little hand starts to feel like your perfect fucking cunt," He groaned through his teeth, "but I just know you would be so much warmer and wetter- fuck-." He moaned at his own words, working himself up as he dropped his chin forward to look at your hand on him, his jaw opened in a small o shape.

"You want that? Huh? Want me to split you open on my cock and fill you up with my cum?" His words had gotten so filthy and shameless, and so fast, it was giving you whiplash. You nodded meekly, not trusting your voice right now as his words alone made you feel like you were going to cum. But that wasn't good enough for Gojo. "Gotta hear you say it baby, need you to tell me you need it." He groaned through his teeth, making your body move above him as he thrust his hips upwards, helping you fuck his cock with your hand.

"Y-yes Satoru I want it." You said, meaning every word, "What do you want?" He rushed out, trying to hold back from cumming to hear you say those magic words. His balls and shaft alike were twitching so strongly against your hold, getting ready to release his seed. "W-want you to come inside me, please give it t-to me." You blushed at your own words, the embarrassment worsening when he groaned shamelessly at them. His pretty eyes rolled back in his head as his orgasm crashed down on him. "Fuck- coming-" he warned before you felt his warm seed start to cover your hand.

Long rope after rope of his cum coated your hard, making you moan with him at the erotic sight. His abs were clenching under your hand, body twitching and back arching slightly, similar to how your own did when you had cum, as you fucked him through his high. You kept jerking him off even after the spasms of his body ceased, and his cock started to soften in your hold.

His large hand shot up and gripped your wrist harshly. "C-careful," He laughed, heaving air into his lungs, "It's so fucking sensitive right after we cum." He said.

"Shit s-sorry," You blushed, releasing his dick from your soiled hand as you stared at his seed that covered it, amazed by how much there was. "Don't be sorry baby, I haven't cum that hard in my life, and all just from your hand" He laughed, rubbing his large hands up the length of your torso while he let himself catch his breath, his soft cock resting against his tummy.

An idea popped into your head, remembering how he had sucked off your cum from your own fingers after he made you finish, and it made you wonder what he tasted like too. Absentmindedly you brought your hand up to your mouth, not paying attention to the man below you as he watched your every movement with bated breath, knowing exactly what you were about to do.

You let your tongue poke out from your open mouth, licking up his seed at tasting him on your tongue. It was bitter, but not overwhelmingly so, there was something almost sweet about it, which made you suck your fingers completely into your mouth, swallowing his seed that coated them.

Gojo watched with a slack jaw at the show you were putting on, his cock twitched to life as he watched you eagerly lick up his cum. "Fuuuck." He drew, bringing your attention back to him as you popped your fingers out of your mouth, giving him a small smile that made his brain short-circuit.

"I have so much to teach you." He grinned, caressing the side of your face as you closed your eyes, and leaned your face into his hand.

pt.3

#this is so #gojo pls teach me everything you know #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk x reader #jjk x y/n #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo smut #gojo x reader #gojo satoru #gojo satoru smut #gojo satoru x reader #jjk gojo #gojou satoru x reader #gojou x reader #jujutsu gojo #jujustu kaisen #satoru gojo #satoru smut #jujutsu kaisen satoru #jjk satoru #jujutsu satoru #gojo saturo #gojo

[sednas]

─ BIRTHDAY GIRL

gojo, geto, nanami, toji x fem!reader (separately)

trigger warning: overstimulation, dirty talk (geto), use of handcuffs (nanami), public s!x, degradation (toji)

༘♡ 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎

you wake up by the feeling of a soft tongue running against the skin of your inner thigh. opening your eyes slowly, the first thing you see is gojo's face, squishing his cheek against your thigh, lazy blue eyes watching you with a glint of adoration.

"morning beautiful." he whispers just before placing a kiss over your clothed pussy.

"w-what time is it?" you ask weakly, your legs already slightly trembling.

"who cares? today's your birthday, we can do whatever you want, we got all day..."

you watch him slowly raise his eyes at you again, smirking mischievously and you can feel his hot breath against you.

"so..." he begins to talk while running his fingertips along the curve of your hips. "what do you want, mmh?"

he's really asking that when his lips are a few centimeters away from your pussy.

"your mouth, I want your mouth..." you whisper to him and he smirks again.

"where? here?" he teases, taking your hand to kiss the back of it. "be more specific baby or else I can't give it to you..." he laughs at your disappointed face and whines a little as you gently tug at his white hair to bring him closer to where you need him most.

"hereeee satoru, need you here." you almost groan in frustration, lifting your hips in the air in a needy way.

"oh here?~" he murmurs just before kissing your hidden pussy, this time using his tongue to wet the soft fabric of your panties.

you feel the tip of his tongue circles around your clit and it makes you shiver, your eyes are already rolling back even though he barely touched you.

gojo loves to tease you, sometimes he makes you beg just for a kiss, but today's your birthday, so he will be nice, at least at first.

bonus:

he brings you gifts in the morning. a lot of gifts. even more than usual. clothes, jewelry, perfumes, flowers, books, nintendo switch, pokemon cards, anything you want, he got it.

༘♡ 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎

you know your boyfriend has a thing for edging you. he likes to deny you for hours and hours, makes you cry and beg in frustration until you sound like a broken record, saying "please" over and over again... he just loves it when you're so horny and sensitive that he could make you cum just by blowing air on your pussy. but on special occasions, he likes to do the opposite, it's his way of spoiling you on your special day. he's so nice isn't he?

"su-suguru wait! you're... you're being mean!" you cry out, your trembling body trapped against his chest.

"I don't think your pussy agrees with you sweetheart, look how she's spasming when I remove my hand, she wants more..." he mocks with a wicked grin.

your skin burns with embarrassment at his words, talking about your genitals as if they were a real person. you'd be jealous if you weren't so overstimulated right now.

slowly, he puts two of his fingers inside you again and you moan at how full you feel just with his fingers alone.

he brings his mouth closer to your ear and you get goosebumps through your whole body, his lips almost touching your skin.

"come on lovely, give me one more I know you can." he whispers as he licks your earlobe.

"too much... can't..."

you squirm between his arms, your left hand desperately holding onto his forearm as his muscles flex while he pumps his fingers in and out of your pussy, his thumb toying with your clit. he clicks his tongue in disapproval and lifts your chin up so he can look at your face.

"you can still talk now can't you? mmh... looks like you're still using that brain of yours, let's fix that sweetheart."

while fingering you, he slides the thumb of his other hand in your mouth and you start sucking on it without even thinking, half lidded eyes trying to focus, your vision blurry as you can feel your sixth orgasm of the night coming. he smiles, flicking your clit a bit more harshly.

"cum sweet girl, you deserve to feel really good on your birthday."

bonus:

he takes you to your favorite restaurant <3 and he's smart enough to fuck you AFTER your date unlike toji 💀

༘♡ 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈

"what is it? already giving up?" he asks and he smiles when you shake your head. "that's my girl."

nanami knows how to listen, it's one of the main reasons why you fell in love with him. he listens and remembers everything you tell him. so of course he remembered when you confessed that some day you'd like to be tied up to his bed during sex. and tonight, for your birthday, he has decided to indulge that fantasy of yours. at first he thought it was a bit silly, the smile on your face when he handcuffed you to the headboard of the bed made him laugh a little. it's only when he finds himself kneeling between your legs, facing you, watching your eyes darken with lust and the way you're already tugging at your restraints that he realizes his position. he has you under him, completely helpless, at the mercy of his teasing touch and his insatiable mouth as you impatiently wait for him and he suddenly feels like the luckiest man in the world. he caresses your thighs lovingly and starts to kiss your stomach, making his way up to your chest to bury his face in your sweet tits, licking and giving gentle bites to your soft skin. you whimper and squirm, quickly realizing how frustrating your little fantasy is going to be and he seems to notice.

he keeps kissing your body until his lips meet your own, taking your breath away with a sloppy kiss and you gasp in his mouth when you feel his knee against your pussy.

"work for it baby, show me how much you want me." he orders, his voice soft but firm and you can only obey.

swaying your hips, you start grinding against his knee, softly moaning, looking away with embarrassment when you see him looking down at you, hypnotized by the way you're moving your body.

"you're doing such a good job baby, keep going, wanna know how desperate you can get for me."

bonus:

nanami never takes breaks from work, except for your birthday. he takes you on a weekend where you both can relax and have some sweet sweet sex in a jacuzzi 🤤

༘♡ 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈

you thought he was being weird as soon as you showed up in the outfit you had carefully chosen for your date at your favorite restaurant. he just looked at you from head to toe and nodded. he didn't even squeeze your ass when you walked past him and you ridiculously felt a bit sad about it. you should have known better, really.

now he's grabbing your hips with his big hands and forcing your body down onto his throbbing cock in the driver's seat, in the middle of the restaurant parking lot.

"m'sorry baby, I just can't resist you, you look so fucking good in that outfit." he moans in your ear and you have to bite his shoulder to keep from screaming.

he lowers one of his hands to grab your ass and he starts thrusting inside you, his cock rubbing all the right spots, making your thighs tremble and your eyes water.

you feel his other hand threading through your hair, forcing you to look down where both of your bodies are connected.

"look at the mess you've made honey, it's all over me. does getting fucked in a car turn you on that much?" he asks and he smiles when he feels you trying to meet the cruel thrusts of his hips while looking away from the view of your pussy soaking his cock.

you whimper when he pulls at your hair, forcing your head down once again.

"answer me. does my little slut like to get off to the thought of getting caught while I'm fucking her pretty pussy?"

and despite shaking your head you can't lie to him, almost salivating at the feeling of your swollen clit rubbing against the fabric of his pants while he keeps slamming his hips against your skin.

"fuck yes! yes I like it! I like it so much!" and he laughs at your dumb voice, seeing you so cock drunk never fails to amuse him, especially when you make such shameless noises with the rear windows half open... he'll tell you later.

bonus:

this car sex session leaves you both panting, sweat sticking on your foreheads, your hair all messy and let's not even talk about the cum dripping out of you right now. so you both decide to go back home and toji orders food from the restaurant you were supposed to go to.

#jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #jjk headcanons #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #toji fushiguro x reader #toji smut #toji x reader #gojou satoru x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru headcanons #gojo x reader #gojo smut #nanami kento smut #kento nanami headcanons #kento nanami x reader #nanami kento x reader #getou suguru x reader #geto suguru smut #geto suguru x reader #getou suguru smut

[ervotica]

hehe dark!rafe fucking jj's ex bc she spiraling after the break up and using hella drugs so he's just degrading & using her however bc she's beneath him and he can't help but record it and send it to the male pouge's

warnings; DARK, smut (18+ only), drug use, dub-con (r is HEAVILY under the influence and not very aware), throat fucking, fingering, slight daddy kink, breathplay, degradation (I may have gone insane with this one I fear)

A cruel hand is splayed against the top of your spine where the base of your neck begins, subduing you enough to keep you from thrashing as Rafe curls his fingers against the spongy walls of your cunt. You're alight with pleasure, the lick of a flame igniting your every muscle as you gargle into the sheets below you; you're not entirely sure how you got here but your drug addled brain is too hazy with the white-hot euphoria he is so kindly granting you.

He groans at your blank eyes, breath hot on your skin as he licks a long line against the column of your throat and bites down, taking great enjoyment in the way you wriggle and whine.

"Please," you gasp out, that coil in your belly drawing tighter the longer he keeps his fingers nestled against that spot deep in your pussy that makes you scream.

"Please, what?"

"Please, daddy. Lemme cum."

"Attagirl." His grin is wolfish, teeth pointed and bared like a predator. "Little fuckin' whore, aren'tcha, kid? Bet Maybank never made you feel this good."

You shake your head vehemently, almost incomprehensible where you're drooling into the pillow beneath your balmy face.

He tweaks his fingers once more and suddenly the dull flame of bliss has roared to life, squeezing every one of your muscles like tendrils as you gush and your hole clenches around his thick digits.

The muted roar of white noise is all you can hear for a good while; eyes rolling, lashes fluttering, limp and spent from just one orgasm.

You don't see him next but rather you feel him. A thick mushroom head prodding against your swollen lips, the taste of bitter precum on your tongue as he feeds his cock down your spasming throat. A gag rips through you but he pushes past it, unfazed by your own discomfort as he chases the feeling of your tender gullet tightening around him.

"Yeahhh, that's good," he unabashedly moans, deep and gravelly. His cock pushes at the thin skin of your neck, flesh bulging as he settles your nose in the thatch of hair at his pubic bone, heavy sack pressing lewdly atop your gurgling mouth with every rut of his hips.

Bubbles of spit ooze from the corners of your stretched lips and then you're suddenly blinded by white light. The flash of a phone camera crowds your vision and Rafe doubles down, hips pistoning against your slack face as he groans and grunts, degrading insults pouring from his mouth.

"Dirty slut, all you're good for 's takin' dick, right? Just a filthy little hole for me to use when 'm bored."

You purl and choke around him in an effort to voice your complaints, but all it seems to do is spur him on further.

"G'na have this throat trained in no time, kid. You're my personal cocksleeve from now on."

He wrenches himself away despite being seemingly on the precipice of blowing his load; you gasp and whimper as he turns to prop the still recording phone on the dresser behind him, twisting a large handful of your mussed hair around his hand and dragging you across the expanse of the king sized bed. Your neck contorts in an odd sort of manner as he positions you with your head hanging upside-down from the side of the plush mattress. It gives him ample leverage to use you without care; he's not bothered if you pass out, he'll use you either way.

It's rough, borderline abusive, how he fucks your throat. Hard and fast and unrelenting despite your almost continuous retching and slapping feebly at his thick thighs. The bulge in the divot of the soft flesh only becomes more prominent, his spongy head pushing from the inside as though it's trying to rip through you.

His hand reaches between his own legs to plug your nostrils and a menacing chuckle hits your ears as your vision blurs and your eyes lose focus and roll to the back of your skull.

He lets up just as you're on the cusp of unconsciousness, dick never leaving your warm cavern as he reaches blindly behind him for the phone. Forearms dig cruelly into your ribcage as he props himself up and zooms the camera in on your sopping, swollen cunt, parting your petal soft lips and slipping two fingers inside to bully another orgasm from you.

"If I were you, Maybank, I'd have never given up this tight cunt," Rafe rasps. "Fucked the poor thing dumb, already. 'M keeping her."

He presses send before you can protest- not that you'll ever be able to. You'll be too cockdrunk to ever notice what he's done.

#dark!rafe cameron #dark!rafe x reader #dark!rafe cameron x reader #dark fanfiction #dark fic #rafe fanfiction #rafe smut #rafe x reader #rafe imagine #rafe fic #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron #rafe obx #rafe outer banks #obx smut #obx x reader #obx fanfiction #obx fic #outer banks fic #outer banks fanfiction #outer banks smut #dark rafe cameron #dark! rafe cameron #writer #writers on tumblr #writing #writing for fun

[aashi-heartfilia]

The hypocrisy of Jinshi and MaoMao

*light novel spoilers*

I just love how hypocritical MaoMao's nature is. She yells at Jinshi for being a 'Masochist' and yet we see that she's no different. Now, by definition Masochist is a person who drives sexual gratification from their own pain and humiliation, plus it relates to Jinshi's tendency to do self harm (like burning his skin with a brand)

And what is MaoMao's most favourite thing in this world?

POISON

She literally takes pleasure in consuming it and no one can convince me otherwise. Plus she uses dangerous plants and animals and snakes whatnot in the name of her so-called experiments. Her dad may call her a 'mad Scientist' but that is a direct indication of self harm.

And she calls Jinshi a Masochist.

I mean, think about it! The amount of anxiety she gives to Jinshi! She came prepared with a vomit inducing medicine but even she had no idea whether it would work or not. She was just hoping it would work in the salt chapter.

And the same goes for her hand, on which she has conducted countless experiments. One flower even burned her skin and its marks never left her skin. She said it was all for her hobby. What kind of weird hobby is that? Maybe, our little adorable mad scientist is just like that.

One brands his own skin, while the other takes heavenly pleasure in consuming poison.

So my point is, Jinshi and MaoMao are not that different as one might think they are and that's why their dynamic works so well.

Let's look at the excerpts from volume 5:

She didn’t know how long they sat that way. All she knew was that Jinshi was looking down at her with a faintly triumphant expression, as if he saw that the breath had reached every corner of her body now. He wiped away the tears that had sprung to her eyes as she struggled to breathe. It was then that Maomao felt a flash of intense anger. “I said that if you were going to kill me, you should do it with poison,” she told him. “I refuse to let you poison yourself,” Jinshi said, his fingers tracing her lips. “You can’t pretend you didn’t know that you were one of the candidates. As much as I’m sure you’d like to.” He wasn’t done, either: “Who was that man, anyway? I’m sure you’re not a dancer.” So he had been watching them! “I was just paying for my drink,” Maomao said. “It didn’t cost much.” She tried to look away, but with his hand on her head, she really couldn’t.

Jinshi just choked her and yet he refuses to let MaoMao poison herself. A lot of people misinterpret this scene, and don't like it all that much, saying it was just fanservice stuff but this is how I see it: Jinshi wasn't trying to kill MaoMao, he was just trying to make MaoMao submit to him for once (even if the way he did it was very wrong, but guess he's kinky like that). MaoMao is actively trying to harm herself and Jinshi loves MaoMao a lot, he cannot just let her kill herself.

It was more about him trying to exert his dominance in their weirdish - complicated relationship and that also backfires on him as we see in the next volume that MaoMao escapes Jinshi's grasps using Pairin's techniques.

And then they both continue to avoid each other in the entire next volume! Because they both realised that they have crossed boundaries.

They both are hypocrites.

And they both refuse to accept their feelings.

In one of the later volumes, she gives Jinshi a piece of her mind on how he should tell her everything clearly, unequivocally, what he feels, and he literally declares that "he will make her his wife", which is nice and all but look at the wording MaoMao used here....

Excerpts from LN Vol 7, chapter 19 called "A man and a woman play the game"

"You’re forever telling me I need to use my words, Master Jinshi, but are you in any position to criticize? Everything you say to me, everything you do, it’s like it’s calculated to save you from ever having to actually say what you mean! To make me figure it all out! You know, you remind me of someone. You act exactly like a man who used to come by our brothel all the time. He was in love with one of the girls, but he would never just come out and say it. He thought it should be obvious from the way he acted. He was so sure he had a good thing going with this woman that he never sent her so much as a letter. I remember how forlorn he looked when someone else swooped in and snatched her away! He kept coming to the brothel after that—to get drunk and whine to the ladies. Well, in my opinion, he could have avoided all that heartbreak if he’d told the woman how he felt. Clearly, unequivocally, so that she knew where they stood. It was the least he could have done!”

Everything came out in a torrent. She felt like she’d said it all in one breath. It was strange, she thought, to hear so many words come out of her own mouth. She was mystified. Jinshi was no less startled, but the shock soon left his face, replaced by something else. He got up off the bed and stared down at Maomao.

Shit. Now I’ve done it. She’d given him a piece of her mind, and he was about to give her one back.

“So I should be clear, should I? Unequivocal? I should say what I mean? If I did, would you actually listen to me? Is that what you’re telling me? I’m going to hold you to that! Right this minute. I’ll say it all. Don’t plug your ears—listen to me!” He grabbed her hands as she was in the process of trying to put her fingers in her ears. He took a breath. He was looking at Maomao, but somehow he seemed almost embarrassed. Finally he managed, “Now listen to me, y—I mean, Maomao! Listen close! I am going to make you my wife!”

It's one heck of a chapter and I suggest you give it a go! The title of the chapter says "A man and a woman play the game" as if to emphasize the very fact that both Jinshi and MaoMao are playing the game.

Jinshi has never confessed his true feelings before this chapter and only implied that he wanted to make MaoMao his wife.

The implications were heavy though on Jinshi's part, and as smart as MaoMao is, anyone would have guessed that MaoMao was one of the candidates for Jinshi's consort. Even the clothes she received (the ones she wore to the banquet) were also provided by Jinshi along with the hairpin. It is never stated outright but seeing as the hairpin was from Jinshi, the clothes are also implied to be the same.

More or less she's always deliberately ignoring the possibility of having anything to do with him, that is more than professional. Some may call it denial, I call it dense. Maybe, to some extent, she herself is not aware of her feelings because she never lets herself feel anything.

Even Suiren pointed it out pretty early in the manga, that maybe it's MaoMao's way of being reserved. We need to keep in mind that MaoMao is an unreliable narrator and it's more of what she does, rather than what she says that makes a difference.

Even in the chapter that I have quoted above, she had every reason to leave Jinshi, she wasn't working for him after all. But she stayed to make tea for him, even after the fact that she had a long day too. She was almost just as exhausted as Jinshi and yet she was there preparing medicinal tea, so that he could get a better sleep.

Maybe she herself is yet to realise just how deep her feelings run. Till vol 12 she seems to have accepted them, but she still is yet to acknowledge their depth. Maybe it's because of her childhood.

It's not a traumatic backstory but MaoMao had a sad childhood nonetheless....

She was raised by her grand uncle and her real father was eccentric, who scared her. Her mother must also appear to be kind of demonic to her, since she was desperate enough to cut MaoMao's Pinky finger and send it to Lahan. So it's safe to say that MaoMao never received proper parental affection. And adding to the fact that, a brothel is not exactly an ideal place for raising a child.... especially when the birth of MaoMao was the one thing that brought the brothel to its knees...even if being born wasn't her choice.

Plus MaoMao stated it herself that when she was a baby, no one would come to sooth her until their work was finished, implying that even if MaoMao and her brothel sisters are close, they are not that close. A mother's love is different and she never received it. No one can love you more than your mother and MaoMao was deprived of that. She soon realised that no one was coming. Life is hard and she has no choice but to face it!

So, she got interested in poison.

Maybe she doesn't love herself or her life as much as she says / pretends she does. She's always like "yeah, I would very much like my head to be with my body" and "if I stay low profile maybe I can survive here" etc but maybe deep down that's not the case. Maybe that's why she loves poison so much. The implications are crazy.

And to break MaoMao's shell, Jinshi has no choice but to be a bit more forceful at times? At least that's how I interpret that choking scene. Jinshi was angry at MaoMao because she deliberately suggested him to marry consort Rishu and danced with Rikuson.

Even if Jinshi never said it outright, he was giving hints the entire time.

But well the tables turned and MaoMao topped him instead, lol (vol 7) and later we even see that our little stray cat has accepted Jinshi and she's ready to be in a relationship with him (vol 12).

Plus she is intrigued by the process of birth (she wants to eat her baby's placenta, it's kind of uggghhh.... but anyways, that MaoMao we're talking about, she's just weird that way)

Maybe not after too long she'll realise that if she has to give birth, she can only have it with Jinshi and no one else.

~Sunshine

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