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mieohmy · 3 years

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𝖧𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗍𝗌 𝖺𝗍 𝖲𝗍𝖺𝗄𝖾 | 𝗅𝖾𝖾 𝗃𝖾𝗇𝗈, 𝗇𝖺 𝗃𝖺𝖾𝗆𝗂𝗇

PAIRING: jeno x fem reader, jaemin x fem reader

GENRE: angst, fluff, humor, agent!jeno, agent!jaemin, agent!reader, spy! au, love triangle, slow burn, pining

WC: 13.1k

NOTES: depictions of violence, weapons, murder, death, blood, injuries, hospitals, mentions of alcohol consumption

SUMMARY: you save jeno’s life and suddenly you’re more to him than he’s ever thought possible. or in more simple terms, you somehow find yourself in the midst of a war called feelings.

notice!- there will be a part two/bonus of this fic soon so keep a lookout :)

“Yes sir.” The three of you speak in unison.

You, jeno, and jaemin are excused from your boss’s office, minds already revving up for your newly assigned mission.

“So.....” jaemin starts.

“So?” You glance at him, jeno to your left doing the same.

“What do you guys want to eat after we’re done?”

Jeno snorts.

“Already thinking about dinner before the mission’s even started?” You tease jaemin as you walk side by side down the stairs.

Just seeing you three together catches everyone else’s attention. And when you and the boys go to your respective lockers, grabbing your gear and getting ready, they begin to whisper too, already knowing what it means.

The notorious three going all out again.

It didn’t phase any of you at this point. Simply because you guys were that group. The trio with the reputation of being “unstoppable” as the rookies called it. Meaning? Your assigned missions rarely failing, the deeds done cleanly and always on time- the boss never had to worry and fret over your team. But you three were humble enough to simply call it ‘practiced skill and talent’ -with a spoonful of teamwork, of course.

Actually, that was an understatement. Teamwork was important, if not the most important thing while performing missions together. Knowing your partners’ style, skills, actions, were key in any task- basically being able to understand and read each other’s minds without a single word, even in the middle of a battle. Especially in the middle of a battle.

“Are you ready?” Jeno asks, and you nod, looking over to jaemin attempting to put on his earpiece. You stifle a laugh, shuffling over to him and reaching to adjust it. “What would all the newbies think if the mighty jaemin couldn’t even put on his earpiece correctly?” You mutter, fingers soft and nimble while focusing intently.

He grins. “I’d say you always do it for me because you’re the boss.”

You smile. “Dang right I am.”

Turning back to jeno, you notice him waiting boredly for you two. “We’re good Jen! Or do you need me to fix yours too?”

He shakes his head, a smile forming. “Nah, I can take care of myself pretty well.”

“Are you sure? What about that one coffee-“

Jeno presses a finger to your lips, effectively muffling your next words.

“Let’s not mention that anymore.”

A few beats of silence pass.

Then Jaemin abruptly claps his hands. “Ah! The one girl-“

And jeno basically flies through the air over to him, covering his face and whispering worthless threats. The three of you burst into laughter, the atmosphere quite light and easy compared to what you were about to embark on.

You head to the exit and towards the waiting car.

Once everyone gets inside, there’s a noticeable shift in the energy -no more fun banter and joking. It was time to focus.

The assigned driver types in the address to where you three are supposed to infiltrate a random gang’s base and take some trivial files for your own group’s use. The difficulty wasn’t too bad, especially for you three. Definitely not the worst you’ve ever been through as a team- you cringe thinking back to when you, jeno, and jaemin started your first “big” mission. Needless to say, you all came back a little worse for wear. The mission still was considered a success- just saying.

The ride is pretty quiet, an occasional remark here and there. There wasn’t an important need to plan and discuss beforehand- you quickly learned that the three of you worked best just going along with the flow.

The pitch-black night sky and yellow-tinted streetlights greet you as you exit the car, gratefully accepting jeno’s extended hand when you step down.

Jeno looks around, examining the supposed hideout. The sight of an empty parking garage greets him- dim but still lit up somewhat brightly. It may not seem all too scary, but he knows better. It’s just a facade for the dark and twisted acts going on underneath.

“What is this place? Some 2013 music video shoot for a boy group?” Jaemin jokes.

You crack a smile whilst searching around for the entrance. Speaking from experience, you already guessed it would be in an ambiguous location with some stupid twist to get in.

After a couple of seconds, the three of you glance at each other, a look going around that no one else would understand.

“Elevator to your right?”

Jaemin nonchalantly nods, eves never flicking away. “Yep.”

You bite the inside of your cheek. “Jen, Jaem, I think you guys can stand guard while I quickly get the files.”

The two boys both immediately begin to object, voices rising. Your eyes widen, taking a quick glance around before shushing them. “You never know who’s lurking!”

Jeno rolls his eyes. “I don’t care. We’re not letting you go in alone.”

You sigh, checking the time. “Okay, fine. Then jaem can come with me. I think you’re the quietest and stealthiest out of all three of us.”

Jaemin nods, and you turn to jeno. “Comm us if you see anything, okay?”

Jeno gives a small thumbs up.

“Come on,” you instinctively grab jaemin’s hand. “Let’s be fast so we don’t leave jeno waiting out here for too long.”

Jeno watches as the two of you disappear behind the closing doors.

ꔫ

It’s boring.

The most action Jeno's gotten was a bird flying in and pecking at some random stuff on the ground before leaving.

Jeno begins to wish he went with you guys, but his role is still important. Except for the times when there was no one around and no need to keep a lookout. Jeno stifles a yawn, the somehow peaceful air getting to his head, but it’s cut short when he hears oncoming voices. And they’re definitely not yours or jaemin’s.

He curses internally, ducking and moving out of view from whoever was there. He squints, and there’s no denying the gang symbol painted on their backs.

Jeno counts- two, three...

Okay, that’s not bad. He could definitely take them on. Then jeno remembers he only brought a small knife, not expecting any surprise encounters, and his confidence lowers a bit.

He presses the button on his earpiece, speaking lowly as to not alert the dark figures. “Guys. Unexpected arrival. About three or so.”

A couple of seconds later, your voice filters through. “Shoot. It’s okay, we’ve got the file and are almost out. Are they headed towards the entrance?”

He peeks around the corner and bites his lip after looking. “Yes.”

Jeno hears a sigh from the other side.

“About three more minutes. We got caught up in some security codes. Do you think you can take them on or do you want to wait for us?”

“No,” he immediately responds. “We can’t risk losing the file.”

“Okay.” There’s a pause, and jeno waits.

“Just...” you speak up, “be careful.”

Jeno gulps. “I will.”

It’s not anything jeno hasn’t done before, but it’s still a risky move nonetheless.

He takes a look again, and they’re typing in a code to the door where you and jaemin entered not so long ago.

It’s now or never.

“Hey!”

Jeno’s voice comes out light and airy, a casual and relaxed tone to it as he strolls out.

The masked figures tense, attention immediately on jeno.

Rude, jeno thinks.

He doesn’t even get another word out before the guys are all over him. He takes one out with ease, and barely avoids another one armed with a knife.

Jeno moves with practiced ease, swiftly dodging attacks and hitting back with double the strength.

It’s only after the second guy is down with a blow to the face that jeno whips out his own knife, going after the last guy.

Jeno slices and the figure slumps to the ground. He huffs, examining the fallen bodies around him as he hides his knife away. Two minutes tops, he thinks.

Then the sound of the door opening alerts him, and he turns to see you and jaemin looking tense and alert, relaxing when you catch sight of jeno and the bodies lying around him.

That means one thing. Obviously.

You send a thumbs up with an easy smile, one jeno returns back, believing the mission was done and sealed. He starts messing with his annoying earpiece- huh, maybe you were right, and he didn’t put it in correctly...

Jeno misses the horror that immediately replaces your satisfied look when you take a better glance at him, or more accurately, what’s behind him.

“Lee Jeno!” You suddenly scream, shrill voice echoing through the supposedly empty lot.

Jeno whips around toward you. His eyes immediately make eye contact with yours, and there’s this look of pure terror and desperation.

Chills run down his spine and fear prickles at his neck. What could get you to react like that?

Jeno’s never seen you this scared. Not in a very, very long time. He’s too dumbfounded at your abrupt outburst to pay any attention to his surroundings.

You’re sprinting towards him as fast as you can, lips mouthing words that either he can’t hear or you’re not sounding out.

It all happens so fast- too fast in a blur that he can’t comprehend anything-

you crash into jeno, arms thrown around him as if you were giving him a hug, but then you suddenly spin him around in the opposite direction, and you push him away- just a slight nudge so he only stumbles back a bit.

He hears it before he can fully see it.

The sickening sound of a blade meeting flesh- jeno knows it all too well- and he does catch the figure quickly sliding his knife out from you in shock.

Two seconds -it’s basically second nature for jeno to unsheathe his knife and throw it straight at the guy in two seconds.

Perfectly through his head.

His body feels numb, he doesn’t even give a second glance to the perpetrator before his eyes land on you again.

Red is blooming from your side through your shirt, and all you do is stand there, one hand slowly coming up to press the area, face cringing in pain as you look back up at jeno.

He can’t move- the only sound he hears is the heaving of his chest, gasping for air. But his lips work on their own accord, words coming out slowly and breathlessly.

“y/n....why?”

When you speak, your voice flows out, strangely soft and melodic, and your eyes lock onto him with a hidden and intense emotion.

“Because you’re my friend.”

You add a small “-idiot,” with a cough.

And then it’s as if someone presses play again.

You immediately slump to the ground, and jeno hears jaemin yell, running to you and scooping you up in his arms.

But jeno doesn’t budge an inch, he can only stare at the way your eyes fall shut, limp body unmoving in jaemin’s lap.

Jaemin’s shaking, he can tell, hands trying to press your wound and stop the pouring blood, but he can’t tell if jaemin’s screaming at him to get help or if it’s the sound and smell of blood infiltrating him, rushing through his ears.

Then something snaps, and jeno clumsily fiddles with his earpiece, somehow spitting out the words to get help.

It’s like everything revolves around jeno as he just watches.

and exists.

Backup rushes in and gets you to safety as jeno stands there in shock. He has no clue or recollection as to how he even got back to headquarters. Or what’s going to happen to you.

The only thing jeno can do is replay the moment you jumped in front of him and sacrificed yourself.

And the way you looked at him so tenderly, speaking so soothingly,

-the way there was not a single ounce of regret in your deep eyes after willingly taking that knife for jeno.

ꔫ

You’re going to be fine, rest assured. After being rushed to the infirmary, they got a solid report on you a couple of hours later. You were currently sleeping, even after losing a solid amount of blood, the doctors were able to get you in a stable condition. The only problem was that you would be put on bed rest for two weeks- just to be safe.

Jaemin was the one who filled him in on all the details, even though jeno can see jaemin’s just as affected as he is.

It was the first time your team ever had to call backup.

It was the first time they ever saw you so lifeless and small- when after missions you were always so lively and cheerful and just there.

And this was the first time you weren’t.

Jeno feels so weak.

He can barely even function. The others force him to go home and recharge, get a good night’s sleep to process everything.

Jeno feels so weak when jaemin has to be the one to stay back and report everything while he returns to the safety of his apartment.

Jeno feels so weak knowing it was his fault.

He keeps replaying that moment. The moment the man snuck up behind him, your terrified scream of his name, the glint of that red-stained knife, the last look you gave him.

He swore all the guys were down- how did one get back up?

It was his fault. Jeno’s carelessness- in all five years of this job and three working with you and jaemin as a team- he’s never done this before.

He’s never been the reason behind your pain before.

ꔫ

He received daily updates on you from jaemin.

You woke up.

You were recovering well.

You said you missed jeno and asked why he wasn’t there.

Okay, so maybe it’s been three days, and jeno still hasn’t worked up the courage to visit you.

It’s not that he didn’t want to see you- oh no, if anything, he definitely wanted to be there. Jeno wanted to see your bright face so badly and feel comforted and relieved that you were okay. But every time he takes a glance in the direction of the infirmary where you were currently staying, he feels all the emotions rush to his head at once.

Anger, pain, sadness, guilt. Mainly guilt.

And the fact that he can’t help but see your stricken face and last moments whenever he takes a single step in your direction.

But jeno misses you. He didn’t realize it before, but he really misses you. Jaemin doesn’t even pressure him to go visit you at least once or ask why the reasoning behind why he hasn’t gone.

So jeno slowly builds up the confidence to finally visit you. He shows up three days, 72 hours, 4320 minutes later at the room you were currently stationed in, carrying a stuffed plushie of your favorite cartoon character in one hand and a bag of snacks in the other.

He grunts, adjusting his stuff so he can knock on the door lightly to alert you of his presence. Jeno hears your voice- a soft “come in!” and he gulps.

Inhaling and exhaling, he gently pushes the door open. You’re sitting up in the hospital bed patiently, eyes open wide with curiosity as to who could be visiting you now.

And for some reason, the first thought that comes to his head is that you still looked so pretty.

Even with your messy bed hair and dark circles under your eyes- not the forget the fact that you literally got stabbed a few days ago- jeno can’t take his gaze off you.

If anything, your eyes get even wider once you catch sight of him.

“Jeno?”

He shows a tentative smile. “Y/n?”

Your mouth opens, but then you stop and sit back onto the raised bed with a small humph!, wincing when you fall back a little too hard.

Jeno immediately rushes to your side, examining you and asking if you’re okay.

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” Still, you refuse to look him in the eye, arms crossed and chin tilted high.

And for good reason.

He sighs, placing the goods he brought on the desk to your side and sitting down in a nearby chair. He repeats your name. But you don’t budge.

“Please look at me,” jeno pleads. Your head turns to him for a split second before looking away again.

“Alright, fine. I’m really sorry.”

You don’t say anything, but he catches your stoic expression faltering.

“And second, thank you. Thank you for saving my life, y/n.”

Your hands drop to your side, and jeno frowns when he sees your picked fingers- he picked up on the habit you did when you were stressed.

Finally, you clear your throat and speak. “You’re welcome. But I don’t accept your apology. It’s been days, and you don’t even visit me once? I was thinking you hated me for-“

He immediately cuts you off. “I would never hate you.”

A puff of air escapes your lips. “Okay, but it still doesn’t explain your behavior.”

“I know, I know,” jeno says, staring down at his lap. “I was just so shocked from it all.”

He bites his lip, voice hoarse.

“But mostly, I felt so guilty. Like I was the bad guy.”

You open your mouth, but no words come out.

“Because I was the reason you got hurt. It was my stupid actions and not paying attention that caused you to get hurt.”

Jeno ducks his head, hands tightly clasped together and eyes squeezed shut. “I’m so sorry, y/n. You could’ve died, and it would’ve been all because of me.“

“Don’t apologize anymore,” you respond sharply.

“It was my decision to take the knife for you, and I would do that over and over again, no questions asked.” Your voice softens, and your hand comes to rest on his, making his eyes snap open and breath hitch.

“Besides, I knew I would be perfectly fine. A knife never stopped me, you know that.”

Jeno glances up and he’s met with your normal happy-go-lucky face and sparkling eyes.

He can’t help but smile back, paying no mind to the quickening pace of his heart.

ꔫ

After that day, jeno tries his best to come in daily to see you. Since your team’s missions were put on hold until you fully recovered, he practically had nothing to do anyway.

Sometimes he would bring snacks or games to entertain you since you complained about how boring it was to stay inside all day. You did protest in the beginning, telling him not to waste his time with you when he could be doing much more important work- but not once did jeno ever think being with you was a waste of time.

And sometimes jaemin would be hanging out with you already, in the middle of telling you a joke that you can’t help but already start giggling at when jeno knocks on the door before coming in with his goodies of the day.

He would pause for a second after seeing you two, a strange uncomfortable feeling rising in his chest, and then you would notice jeno‘s presence and force him to join you and jaemin, the fleeting feeling then forgotten until the next time.

But the moments when jeno comes in and it’s just you there by yourself, he can’t ignore the rush of adrenaline he gets.

It doesn’t fail to occur every time he spots your lovely face, already greeting him with a sparkle in your eyes.

Since when did he start feeling this certain way? Jeno’s worked with you for years, performed countless missions by your side, and somehow, he only realizes it now. After that one fated day, it’s like everything’s changed. And even if it may not seem like it for you, it certainly has for him.

Jeno wonders why he’s never noticed it before. He wonders when the warmth just from being in your presence truly started.

ꔫ

And from then on, you secure a certain and stable spot in jeno’s heart.

At first, he swore it was just because of how selfless you were, bravely running in front of him and saving his life, jeno thought he was just eternally grateful and held a copious amount of admiration for you. But as time goes on and you’re back on your feet, raring to start up tasks again, he can’t deny that it’s not just admiration.

He knows that his heart beats faster and his palms get sweaty whenever you spot him and your face lights up. It’s obvious, right?

Jeno likes you. But the real question was- did you like him back?

It’s about a week since you were released from the infirmary, slowly training and building back up to get in top fit shape and start on missions again like you so desperately wanted to do.

You send jeno a small smile when he joins you at a table, carrying a stack of old papers to file through. It never fails to make jeno blush- and if you notice, you don’t say anything.

There’s a relaxing silence, you munching on a snack as jeno focuses on organizing, the office is weirdly quiet today.

But the silence doesn’t last for long, you jump in your seat when jeno lets out a small hiss of pain, and you glance over to see him holding his finger, eyebrows furrowed.

“Hm? What did you do?”

He looks up at you sheepishly, “paper cut.”

You click your tongue while shaking your head, getting up to walk to your desk a couple of strides away and returning with a band-aid in hand.

Jeno grins when he sees the cute teddy bear pattern on it, he expects no less from you. “Why do you always have bandaids around?” He questions, amused.

“Because I know you guys, and you guys always do dumb stuff like this.”

His mouth drops open, about to object, but abruptly closes it when you gently take his hand, unwrapping the bandaid deftly and wrapping it around the small inflicted wound.

He gulps, watching you work with such concentration on a minor thing like a small paper cut. Your nimble fingers make him feel ticklish, and he resists the urge to squirm from a simple act like this.

Once you finish, you sit back with a satisfied look.

He mutters thanks, and you shake your head with a pout. “Jeno, you need to take care of yourself better.”

And then a hand lands on your head, and you jump, quickly looking around.

Jaemin laughs, easily slipping into the seat next to you. “What’s up?”

You roll your eyes. “Jeno was being careless and- oh! that reminds me, you too jaemin!”

His pleased expression suddenly turns bewildered. “What?”

“You’re never getting enough sleep! -and I can tell cause you were drinking your nasty coffee earlier and the bags under your eyes are-“

You ramble on, continuing to nag at jaemin as he only watches you with an endeared smile.

ꔫ

Today is a bad day. Simply one of those days where you just wake up with that feeling and know that today’s just not it.

But that happens to everyone. It’s common and nothing you haven’t experienced before.

You hope going to work and seeing your friends will cheer you up a little. Spoiler- it doesn’t. Jeno and jaemin are assigned to an easy mission on the field today, and you’re not allowed to go with them. The doctors tell you that you still have to wait at least four more days until you can get back to doing missions with them- no exceptions.

The one thing you so desperately wish to do gets crushed in a matter of seconds.

So yes, today was a bad day.

No amount of protesting will get you out of it, so you’re left to walk out of your boss’s office extremely frustrated and upset.

Jeno and jaemin try to comfort you, sending sympathized looks, but it’s to no avail. You assure them you’ll be fine and force them to get ready instead of worrying about you, left at your desk to pout and mope.

Why can’t you go?

You’re feeling great and better than ever. The mission is so simple. There’s absolutely no reason you can’t go along with them.

Jeno notices you sulking alone, and even though he has to leave with jaemin, he quickly runs out to get some stuff before heading out.

When you get back to your station after going to the bathroom- to just stare at the mirror for no reason in particular, (yes, it was one of those life questioning moments) you find some of your favorite snacks stacked in the middle with a small note on top.

‘cheer up! i know you’ll get through this :) -j ’

You frown, looking around, and your frown deepens when you realize jeno and jaemin left already to go on their fun adventure without you.

You question your desk mates if they saw whoever did this, and they shake their heads. The handwriting was super scrawly and messy- you had no clue whose it was. Obviously, the signed j was a clue, and your mind immediately thinks of either jaemin or jeno. But you guys are so close- why would they leave it at your desk and not just give it to you personally?

You let out another sigh for the 100th time today, angrily ripping open the snack and stuffing a handful in your mouth. It was delicious, of course, and you’re thankful to whoever got this for you, but now there’s another thing you have to do to add to your burdens already. Find out who did this -albeit with good intentions- and pay them back.

And in order not to feel like a complete failure, you stay at the office late, buried in paperwork until everyone else has left and you’re alone. Or so you thought.

You were so focused you completely forgot about jeno and jaemin. Did they come back alright? You figured they probably left you be to not bother you and break your concentration.

Groaning, you get up and stretch, looking around at the dark room and empty desks. You’re about to gather your stuff and leave when you spot a bright pink sticky note on your office wall.

You squint, not remembering anyone leaving that there before, and curiously take it from the wall.

‘man, i wish i could get some ice’

You raise an eyebrow. Is this a prank? Was someone trying to troll you or was it just a mistake?

You want to ignore it and just leave, but curiosity overtakes you. Rereading the note, you contemplate. Ice? The only ice available at the office was from the fridge.

No, you reassure yourself, you’re just being dumb. It’s probably nothing. But still, you find yourself hesitantly making your way to the kitchen area. It never hurt to check, right?

And surprisingly, there’s the same pink sticky note pasted on the fridge door. Eyebrows raised, you quickly take it, not expecting there to actually be another one.

‘i need to find my gear... where could it be?’

You already know the answer. Or at least, you think you do. Everyone stores their gear and equipment at their lockers, no brainer.

You smile triumphantly when you spot the familiar bright pink hanging off a random locker door. Eagerly, you snatch it off and read the contents.

‘ah. i ran out of paper.’

You snort. Whoever wrote these was getting lazy.

To be honest, you had no clue why this was so entertaining to you -it could literally be a prank and lead to nothing for all you know. Nevertheless, it’s an excitement you haven’t had in a while- like your own mission to find out the source of these mysterious notes.

Quickly skipping over to the copy room, you take another note off the printer.

‘it’s cold outside. i want to look out from above.’

You frown. Look out from above? Your eyes travel over the room, looking for any sign of something up high- before it eventually catches on the sign signaling the stairs leading up.

You smack yourself in stupidity. Of course. your building had a rooftop- one you really never had a reason to go to. At least, not until now.

You push past the doors to go up, quickly climbing up two steps at a time to reach the top. Once you see the exit outside, you hesitate.

What if there was nothing? What if you’re luring yourself into a trap?

You shake your head, reassuring yourself it was fine. Even if someone was trying to murder you, you can take care of yourself.

Gently pushing the door open, you peek outside.

The night sky promptly greets you, stars shining brightly above. There are a few lights placed around to brighten the place up, but your attention is focused on the tiny set up in the middle of the rooftop.

It’s not too extravagant, really- just a simple table with two chairs overlooking the city, but small and cute decorations adorn the place.

You cautiously walk over, and you notice a stuffed bunny sitting in one of the chairs. Curious, you move closer to examine it.

It looks like a harmless stuffed bunny, and after a few seconds pass with nothing dangerous happening, you slowly sit down in the other chair across from the toy.

You’re not sure what you’re waiting for, or why this whole setup is here, but you take the chance to glance out and admire the scenery, shivering at the wind blowing past.

It’s cold and windy, but the view is beautiful. The city below you, bright lights, and life just going on as you sit back and watch it all. It’s so peaceful, and for once your mind is clear and blank. You sit down in the other empty chair and stare for some time, not paying attention to your surroundings.

And then a finger pokes your side, and you whip around, body tense and alert until you catch sight of who it is and falter.

“Jaemin?”

“What are you doing here?”

He smiles. “Took you long enough to get here.”

You gasp. “Did you do all this?” You pause, processing everything before looking back up at him in horror. “How long did you wait for me?”

He rolls his eyes. “A long time.” You wince, mouth opening to apologize, but he cuts you off with a chuckle. “I’m joking. After we came back from the mission, it was already kinda late. And then it took some time to set this up, so don’t worry.”

He’s smiling down at you, and it’s contagious. You can’t help but feel the corners of your lips raise as well. Jaemin removes the bunny and sits down in the chair next to you, wordlessly handing it to you.

You examine it, finding it to be quite adorable and soft. You giggle, looking back at him and thinking of his bunny agenda. “Is this supposed to represent you?”

He shoots you a mysterious look back, eyes twinkling. “What do you think?”

You pretend to think, tapping a finger on your chin, “well.... bunnies are cute but-“

“So you think I’m cute?” He waggles his eyebrows.

Your face heats up in embarrassment and you threateningly raise a fist at him, watching as he giggles, enjoying your flustered state a little too much.

“You didn’t let me finish!”

Jaemin’s smile widens, eyes crinkling. “Okay, you can finish now.”

You scoff, turning away from him. “I don’t feel like it anymore,” you grumble.

He laughs again, hand coming to pet the top of your head. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to rile you up so I could see you not looking sad or glum today.”

You look down at your hands, clearing your throat in an attempt to ignore the weird thumping in your chest. “Oh, well... did you really stay back and do all this?”

He shrugs, looking past at the sight below.

“I know it was a rough day for you.”

You swallow, staring at the bunny in your arms. “But you didn’t have to.”

“Plus waiting for me,” you lamely add.

“I wanted to. It’s normal to be sad right now, you know. You have every right to feel upset, so there’s no need to pretend everything’s fine with me. Okay?”

“Yeah,” you clear your throat. “I’m fine now. it was immature of me to be complaining and sulking over people just looking out for me and my health. I feel bad for-“ your voice gets caught in your throat and you bite your lip.

For some reason, you’re embarrassed. Embarrassed because you’re emotional and don’t want to cry right now, so you avert your gaze to the city, sucking in a breath and staring ahead.

Jaemin waits for a little before speaking up.

“You don’t have to talk. We can just sit here. I figured you didn’t want to be lonely. That’s all.”

You feel shy, messing with the fuzzy bunny to distract yourself. Your voice comes out small but you’re still extremely touched. “Thank you nana. You made my day a lot better.”

“Anything for you, y/n.”

You clutch your hand to your chest, over your heart. The night is chilly, but his words keep you warm inside. Strangely, his presence is enough.

You spend some time just sitting there together in silence, admiring the city lights, night sky, everything, and anything. But the day’s events eventually cause you to get sleepy, and jaemin does too.

A giggle escapes you when jaemin yawns right after you do, and he has the audacity to look offended. “Why are you laughing? Yawns are contagious- which means you did this to me.”

You shake your head in amusement, grabbing his hand to tug him up. “Let’s go home and get some rest. We did a lot of work today.”

He groans, getting up and looking around. “How long did we stay out here?”

“I don’t know. But don’t we have to clean all this up?”

“Nah, I can do it tomorrow. It’s late.”

You shoot him a look and he raises his eyebrows. “What?”

“If you’re gonna clean it tomorrow, you better tell me so I can come up and help you.” You glare at him and he playfully salutes.

“Yes sir!”

You’re about to leave the bunny behind and set it neatly on the chair, but jaemin swiftly shoots a hand out, preventing you.

You glance at him, bewildered.

He looks away sheepishly. “Keep it. I got it for you.”

You blink, before letting out a laugh and clutching it tightly to your chest. Cute.

“Okay. I promise.”

ꔫ

How did you get here?

Well, more importantly, why did jeno drunkenly call you?

You show up disheveled- obviously, since he ruined your movie night and his friends basically forced you to come to pick his wasted butt up.

You heave a sigh in defeat, glancing around the tables before finally finding jeno and his buddies.

You try to hide your concern by keeping your arms crossed as you make your way over. The sight of jeno hugging the table while surrounded by his friends laughing at him greets you. “Oh my god- how much did you drink?”

Jeno immediately sits up, eyes gleaming. “You came!”

His friends crowd around him, looking at you with hungry eyes like a predator would at its prey. “So you’re the y/n?”

You roll your eyes. “Yes, I came. And yes, I’m y/n.” Upon further examination, you frown, noticing jaemin isn’t here. Excluding jeno, it’s all strangers and unfamiliar faces looking back at you. “How did you guys know my name?”

One of them snorts. “Of course we know who jeno’s girlfriend is.”

You scrunch your face up. “What? I’m not his girlfriend.” You look over at jeno for support, but he’s slumped over, cheek flat on the table and mumbling some random things you don’t care to hear.

“Ugh- whatever. Jeno?” You call out, gently shaking his shoulder. “Let's get you home.”

He groans, and with the help of one friend, you get one of his arms across your shoulder, supporting some of his weight.

“Thanks y/n!”

“Sorry, your boyfriend has surprisingly a lower tolerance than we thought.”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” You grunt -jeno was much heavier than you expected- but it falls on deaf ears as you walk out of the crowded place. Well, all except for jeno’s.

He frowns, looking at you like a hurt puppy, but his tone and voice come out serious. “Is the thought of dating me that bad? Do you think I wouldn’t be a good boyfriend?”

Your mouth drops open as you let go of your hold on jeno and stare at him, wide-eyed.

What?

You exhale in frustration, ignoring his words and quickly blaming it on him being drunk. But he doesn’t budge, staring at you earnestly, and you yank his arm helplessly. “Come on, jeno. We need to get home.”

And with another desperate tug from you, his body unfreezes and staggers closer to you, causing your bodies to be almost pressed together.

Jeno doesn’t seem fazed, while you flinch at the sudden proximity. His stare is strong, eyes searching yours fervently.

“Have you never thought about dating me before?”

A surge of heat rushes through your body and you avoid his intense gaze, stuttering hotly, “W-what are you even talking about?! Ya-just-let’s go.”

You grab his hand and stumble out of the place, into the dark night.

You huff, dragging him over to your car. “Where’s jaemin? Did he not come?”

“I dunno. He said he was busyyy.”

You wonder where jaemin possibly could be, but jeno loses his footing while walking and your thoughts are pushed back to focus on helping him. Somehow, he gets into the passenger seat, and you carefully buckle the seatbelt over him.

Once you get in and onto the road, all without a single word spoken, you glance over to jeno curiously. He stares out the window, looking up at the passing cloudy sky, no moon in sight.

“You know,” you start, “you should drink more responsibly. We have work tomorrow.”

He looks back at you, an unreadable expression on his face. “But when I feel bad, I drink. I drink so I don’t have to think about it.”

You frown. “What’s making you feel bad?”

Jeno shifts in his seat, voice small. “Things. Feelings. They’re confusing. How do you find the answer? How can you tell if what you want is right?”

How can you tell if the person you want wants you back? is what he wishes to say, but he swallows it, keeping it inside for another day.

The ride is silent for some time, leaving his spoken thoughts to simmer until you exhale.

“I don’t know, jeno. I honestly have no clue either.

Once you arrive at his place, you assist him out of the car, barely making it through his door.

He crashes into bed, whining, and you gently tuck him in.

After jeno seems settled, you get up to leave him to rest, but a hand on your wrist prevents you.

You slowly look back. His eyes are still closed, body sprawled out on the bed, but his grip on your arm stays.

“Stay,” he breathes. Whether he’s awake or asleep talking unconsciously, you’re not sure. But you hesitate, staring down at him.

You think jeno falls asleep, breathing slowly evening out and hand loosening its hold on yours before falling to the side. You smile softly, adjusting his blankets and fixing his bangs delicately.

“Cheer up, jeno. I hope you find an answer to whatever’s bothering you.”

And with that, you turn and make your way home without a single look back.

And sometime after you’re gone, one of jeno’s eyes just barely peek open to see an empty room, no sign of you.

Jeno sighs, already falling back under.

How can he tell you that you’re the only answer he needs?

ꔫ

Just two more days until you can get back to missions.

You remind yourself of that, repeating it constantly from the moment you wake up. It’s no surprise you didn’t get good sleep last night- for one, the whole drunk jeno situation. and two, the stuff his friends said.... and what jeno himself said as well.

All the boyfriend talk made you uncomfortable. It’s not like you didn’t want to find the right person for you, at the right time, but it still made you awkward thinking of your friend in a different light you’ve never thought of him in before.

You can’t sleep when his face keeps appearing, words echoing in your brain.

“Have you never thought about dating me before?”

You smack yourself. No. Stop. Enough of that.

In the morning, you busy yourself with paperwork, only stopping when jaemin sneaks up from behind to scare you. It doesn’t work.

You grin, turning around to catch him mid-act. “How many times are you going to try this?”

He pouts, arms dropping to his side. “As many as it takes for me to properly scare you.”

Letting out a huff, you open your mouth to retort back but your sight lands on a very familiar figure entering the office.

When you spot jeno, your mind instantly flashes back to yesterday. His eyes meet yours and you quickly avert your gaze, trying to reimmerse yourself in conversation with jaemin.

Jeno frowns, wondering what the sudden act was for. But at the same time, he was definitely hungover and although you kindly left medicine and water by his bed yesterday night, he was still feeling like crap.

He walks over to you two, and you abruptly tense.

“Hey, y/n, jaemin.”

“Hi.” You cringe, your voice sounding not as casual and natural as you hoped.

Jaemin gets called over to assist a co-worker, and jeno takes the opportunity.

“Thanks about last night. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what my friends were thinking.”

You gulp. “It’s fine. You’re welcome.”

And then you proceed to spin around and pretend to focus on work, your back to him. (As if you had any work left when you stayed back and did it all a few days ago.)

Jeno shrugs, assuming you must be busy or something along the lines of that so he leaves you be. But for the rest of the day, you avoid as much interaction with him as possible. Whenever jeno tries to talk to you, you give short and curt answers back, not trusting what would spill out of your mouth if you spoke anymore.

Around lunchtime, Jeno sits at his desk, spinning in circles and wondering what possibly happened with you. Could it be something he did last night?

He exhales, getting up to grab some water from the kitchen. And lo and behold, you’re already there, filling up your own bottle.

He waits for a second, gauging your reaction, and there’s no way he can mistake the sight of your body stiffening and the way you avoid his gaze.

“Y/n?”

Your grip on the bottle tightens. “Uh-yeah?”

“Is there something wrong? Did I do something last night?”

The sound of the water filtering stops, and you fumble, trying to find the right words.

“Do you not remember?”

He stops, rubbing his temple in irritation. “Not really? I just know you had to come and pick me up. Again, I’m really sorry...”

“Ah.” You feel a slight sense of comfort. So he really doesn’t remember anything he said... “Well, it’s nothing, your friends just said some weird things, and I-“

He quickly interrupts you, ears turning pink. “Listen, ignore anything I or my friends said last night. A lot of nonsense comes out of our mouths when we’re drunk, so I fully apologize on their behalf. I can talk to them and-”

You internally heave a huge sigh of relief when he says that, heart somewhat at ease now.

“No-no, it’s alright...,” you fiercely shake your head.

“Oh, okay.” Jeno’s hand comes up to scratch the back of his neck self-consciously.

You finally allow yourself to relax, noticing his messy hair and biting your lip to hold back a laugh. “Jeno- did you do your hair this morning?”

You reach to fix the stray hairs, patting some flyaways down, when his hand shoots up, grabbing your wrist and stopping you effectively.

You freeze, smile slowly falling while staring at jeno in shock and confusion, his hand still keeping yours on top of his head in place. Jeno looks back at you, an unreadable expression on his face.

One beat.

Two beats.

You swallow.

“Jen?” You ask tentatively.

He snaps out of it, blushing and removing his grip from your wrist, causing your arm to fall back down at your side.

“Oh-yeah. Sorry. I’ll get going now. Good luck with your work today.” He dashes off, leaving you to stand there alone.

You shiver, brushing over the spot where he held your wrist. What was that all about?

ꔫ

After lunch, you decide to stop by jaemin’s desk, wanting to ask if he’s attending the party tomorrow night.

You eagerly roll your chair over, wheels squeaking against the carpeted floor.

“Hey jaem-“

Your chair comes to a slow.

You find Jaemin at his desk, using his arms as a pillow as he sleeps peacefully, head turned to the side and slow breaths huffing in and out.

You quietly laugh to yourself. Scooting closer, you allow yourself to watch him for a second, glad that he was getting some rest instead of constantly working, helping other people out at work, or helping others by volunteering.

You unconsciously lean closer, fingers lightly brushing his hair from his face and watching his body peacefully rise and fall.

Jaemin was always the person everyone went to for assistance. Everyone adored jaemin. You wonder why he’s never dated anyone in the time you’ve known him- he and jeno were always popular and well-liked.

You fall into a daze watching him, just from how peaceful he looks, losing track of the time.

And then his eyes shoot open, and you jump back slightly, startled.

He doesn’t move from his position, just simply staring back at you, and for a second you can do nothing but stare back.

And then he breaks into a sleepy but still amused grin, apples of his cheeks protruding clearly.

“How long have you been awake?” You ask slowly, cautiously.

“How long have you been staring at me?” He counters back.

You let out an embarrassing sound, scooting back.

“Doesn’t matter. It was just shocking to see you getting some rest for once.”

He raises an eyebrow but you ignore it, attempting to get back on topic. “Anyways, are you going to the party tomorrow?”

“What party?” Jaemin asks bluntly.

You should’ve guessed that he didn’t know. “Our division’s hosting a party tomorrow at 7. To celebrate the 8th anniversary or something like that. It’s supposed to be fun though. Are you going?”

He purses his lips, running through his mental schedule and future plans. “I suppose I can.”

You fake a gasp. “The na jaemin actually has time to go to a party?”

He jokingly pushes your chair away from him in revenge, but it’s so sudden that you jerk and lose your balance in the seat, about to tip the chair and fall over.

Thank goodness for his overly trained reflexes that allow him to lunge forward and catch the sides of your chair, safely stabilizing it while he’s positioned over you.

You quickly glance up at him, heart racing and adrenaline pumped. It doesn’t get better when you notice his arms caging you in.

Jaemin’s concerned expression meets your shocked one, and when he asks if you’re okay, you simply can’t function, opting to just gaze up at him with wide eyes.

“-y/n???”

You come back to your senses, rapidly nodding and ignoring the rest of his worried questions. Returning to your desk, you bang your head against the hard surface, mind jumbled. You just need a break from men.

It feels like forever until it’s finally time to go home. Your body feels sluggish and brain fried as you make your way out the door. Locating your car, you somehow spot the two people you really don’t want to see after what happened earlier -with the both of them.

You recoil, quickly avoiding jeno and jaemin like a frightened mouse and speedwalking over to your car. Once you get in, you let out a sigh of relief, finally getting a chance alone to think about today’s developments.

Is it just you, or are jeno and jaemin acting so strange recently- especially after you got stabbed?

Before, you would’ve said that your teammates were the people you could trust with anything and everything. But lately, they’re the two people that have been driving you crazy.

You rub your eyes in defeat. Everything’s confusing- it feels like everything’s changed.

But one question remains.

How exactly?

ꔫ

Ryujin drags you along next to her, ignoring your complaints about the outfit she chose for you.

She worked in a different division from you, meaning you didn’t get to see her often, though you were still able to keep in contact. It felt like meeting up with an old friend occasionally, there were never any awkwardness or boring moments.

And somehow, she managed to sneak her way into your division’s party. (popular people things, you grumbled.)

“It feels like we’re going to a college party again.”

You shake your head. “Don’t remind me of those.”

You fiddle with your clothes for the nth time, ryujin having picked an outfit you would’ve never worn on your own accord.

“I’m regretting letting you choose what to wear for me.”

She only laughs. “Yeah-well, too late now! Besides, you look really good, so who cares?”

“Me!”

Ryujin ignores you, glancing around at the apartment doors and looking for the right number.

“Ah, here it is. Number 55.”

You knock on the door, and it slowly opens to reveal one of your coworker's apartment.

There’s a fair amount of people already there, chatting away or dancing to the subtle music.

Good, at least it wasn’t like those cringy college parties with ear-deafening music and the stench of pure alcohol filling the place.

Your eyes travel across the room, taking it all in.

“Are you looking for him?” Ryujin teases, nudging your side. Your eyes flick back to her, a confused look in them. “What do you mean?”

She rolls her eyes, “Who else would I be talking about? Obviously-

She gets cut off by lia, running over to the two do you with a squeal.

“Y/n, you look so pretty!!”

You shake your head, embarrassed.

“I’m surprised you didn’t come with jeno and jaemin,” she remarks.

Your mouth opens. That’s right, you totally forgot about them. Searching around, you finally spot both of them playing beer pong with a couple more of your coworkers.

Smiling, you excuse yourself to greet them.

“Getting the party started without me?” You tease, walking over to the table.

Everyone turns at the sound of your voice. Jaemin, mid-shot about to throw the ball, stops when he sees you.

Jeno swallows, eyes taking in your appearance.

You frown at the lack of response. “Guys?”

Immediately, everything resumes. They all greet you, and jeno hands you a cup.

“It’s light, don’t worry.” You nod in thanks, taking a sip.

He suddenly feels hot, hands picking at his shirt. “You look really good.”

You roll your eyes. “Sure, it’s probably just because you’ve only ever seen me in my work clothes or pajamas.”

Jeno shakes his head shyly. “I mean it.”

The air suddenly feels weird, so you shuffle a bit, clearing your throat.

“Oh. Thanks, I guess?”

The party resumes with you hanging out with the boys and occasionally talking to other friends. But it’s been a while since you’ve gone out like this, and eventually, you start to feel a bit overwhelmed.

Jeno and jaemin quickly take notice of your quiet behavior and short replies.

Jaemin nudges your side softly. “Are you okay?”

You feel yourself faintly nod, trying your best to take a deep breath. “Yeah, it’s just a little stuffy in here.”

At your words, jeno and jaemin both start, immediately offering you water at the same time.

You hesitate, staring down at both of their outstretched hands.

“Uh,” you awkwardly laugh, getting up. “It’s alright. I’m just gonna go to the restroom....”

You don’t. You walk over to the kitchen, quickly obtaining and downing a glass of water with a satisfied exhale at the end. And then, instead of returning to the rest of the group, you take a detour to the balcony, quietly stepping out into the cold night and shutting the door behind you.

Jeno gets increasingly worried. It’s been like 15 minutes and you still haven’t returned. He asks jaemin, and he only shrugs, saying something about how you probably needed some space.

But it’s not a good enough answer for him, so jeno goes to check the bathroom, and as expected, you’re not there.

And in fact, you’re not anywhere inside as far as his he can tell. Anxious, he begins to go around, asking a few people if they’ve seen you. Most of them shake their heads, stating unhelpful information referring to your location.

But eventually, while waking his way past the kitchen, he hears your voice. It comes from outside, past the door that leads to the balcony.

Jeno stops, listening for a second. He can pick up on another person’s voice along with yours- he believes it’s your friend - the one whose name started with an R?

Your voices are faint, and he quietly leans in closer to the door, holding his breath and praying you don’t notice his presence.

“-you like him, huh?”

He hears your soft voice. “Again? What are you talking about, Ryu?”

Right, he thinks. Your friend's name was ryujin.

“Don’t act oblivious. You two have been teammates for so long now- I can tell.”

Then jeno hears noises that he assumes are you getting flustered and he has to hold back a laugh.

But then the sounds of shuffling suddenly start, and jeno barely hides away past the corner -thank his spy training.

Jeno presumes that ryujin gets up and heads back inside, closing the door and leaving you alone again.

He counts 15 seconds before walking over to the door and gently opening it. He’s greeted by the sight of you, staring up at the sky, and his breath is stolen away once again.

But you turn at the noise, relaxing when you spot jeno.

“Oh. Hey. What’s up?”

He hums, sitting in the chair next to you. “I didn’t know where you went.”

“But you found me,” you remark dryly.

“....where’s jaemin?”

Jeno shrugs, having forgotten about jaemin in his quest to find you.

Maybe the tranquil silence between you two and the breathtaking sight in front of him is what causes him to reflect on everything.

“Y/n,” he speaks up after a while.

You nod, waiting for him to continue.

“I know I’ve said this a bunch of times, but thank you for saving me.”

“Didn’t I already tell you to let that go?” You joke.

“Yeah, but I want to keep saying it because I truly mean it. I’ll always be grateful because of what you did. I still feel terrible for not paying attention-“

You place a hand over his, and he falters.

You don’t look at him though, gaze still locked in front of you. “I already accepted your apology, jeno...”

“But am I still allowed to feel horrible about that time I practically forced you to come and pick a drunk me up?”

You giggle, removing your hand from his, and jeno unconsciously frowns at the loss of contact.

“If it makes you feel any better, then sure. But....” you start.

He nods, gesturing for you to keep going.

“What was bothering you that night? You said you drank so much because you felt bad.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” you quickly add.

Jeno exhales a long breath through his nose. He debates internally, switching back and forth between the options.

Is there any way for him to say that he likes you? That jeno likes you- a lot?

And that he doesn’t know if you like him back?

Sometimes, he thinks the smiles you send him are special, different from the ones you give to others. Or whenever he thinks about the time you took care of him, helped him, sacrificed your life for him, he believes it could be something more.

But at the same time, jeno doubts himself. He can’t help but wonder if you really do feel the same way or if it’s just you being you. You’re always smiling at everyone, helping others out whenever you got the chance- being the selfless, admirable person you are.

He stayed up countless nights, replaying and overanalyzing all the interactions you had with him throughout the day, wondering, hoping, wishing.

“I like someone,” jeno finally speaks.

But before you can react, he continues. “And I don’t know if they like me back.”

He looks down at the ground, his voice quiet. “Because I’m just me, you know? There's honestly nothing special about me. I can’t even work up the courage to confess- what would they even like about me?”

“She probably doesn’t even like me back,” he finishes.

You wait, letting his words fully sink in.

And then you let out a short, dry laugh, and he quickly glances up at you, bewildered at your low tone- a sudden change in the air surrounding you.

“Is this really what was bothering you that night?”

“-are you really doubting yourself, lee jeno? Did you forget how great of a person you are? How hardworking and strong you are? How kind and thoughtful you are? You’re a good guy, and anyone would be a fool not to see that.”

Your eyes hold a certain intensity to them, never once breaking eye contact with his.

Maybe you said something else, maybe you weren’t done talking, but jeno isn’t sure.

He suddenly felt a rush of hope when you were speaking -at the look on your face when you talked about him so seriously and with so much conviction.

So much to the point where he can’t stop himself.

It’s like his body has a mind of its own, forcing Jeno to lean in towards you, face coming much closer to yours.

You trail off, noticing his sudden bold move. He doesn’t say anything, eyes flicking down to your lips.

Your breath hitches.

You don’t know how to react to the sudden intimacy, so you simply stop, body locking up and heart thundering in your chest.

Jeno brings you closer as your eyes widen, not a single part of you moving as you internally panic.

“Hey, who’s out here-“

Jeno falters, eyes flying open.

You take the chance to scoot back, breathless, and quickly get up to meet the eyes of the person who burst outside and essentially ruined the moment.

Thank god it wasn’t any of your friends- just the apartment’s owner who simply wanted to know who was outside.

After quickly explaining, it’s a golden opportunity for you to get the heck out of there, internally thanking them for coming out at that moment.

Quickly apologizing, you make your escape, fumbling past the door and back into the party, looking for your belongings and searching for the exit.

You don’t bothering telling anyone about your departure, instead coming face to face with a confused ryujin, to which you explain that you’re tired (not a lie) and need to go back home and make sure you didn’t get robbed (also not entirely a lie, you really had no clue if you locked your doors or not).

And with that, you clumsily put your shoes on and push past her, ignoring the startled protests and questions.

Your mind is buzzing, the alcohol not helping one bit.

As you continue on the path back to the comforting solidarity of your home, you can’t help but think back to what occurred earlier.

What just happened?

You don’t even want to imagine it, but it seemed like jeno was trying to...

kiss you.

maybe? right?

You run a hand over your face, having an internal crisis.

Hah, no way.

Was he just that drunk? Like that one time you had to pick him up?

Should you just disregard what happened this time as well?

Are you making a big deal out of nothing? Was it just an accident and you misunderstood his intentions?

Everything feels so overwhelming and confusing, once you get home, you immediately collapse into bed and force yourself to fall asleep and not have to think about it anymore.

And it’s very much a good thing that you did because your boss sends you and the boys on a mission the next evening.

And yeah, maybe you were still feeling like crap and hungover, but it was your first mission after getting stabbed. Even when you’ve been on countless missions- ones much harder than the one you were about to embark on- you still felt the nervousness and anxiety to perform well and succeed in your stomach.

And luckily, or maybe not so luckily, you didn’t have any time to discuss what occurred last night between you and jeno.

He stays quiet the whole ride, and you’re not sure whether to be grateful or concerned.

Jaemin worriedly asks you about where you went last night, and you shrug, saying something about how you were tired and wanted to go home early.

The atmosphere in the car is weird, and you want to blame it on the fact that it’s been a while since you’ve been out as a team, but you all know it’s more than that.

Shutting your eyes shut, you decide to put it all away for now.

This was your job, and you couldn’t let personal matters get involved.

“You guys ready?” jaemin asks, and the three of you share a look before you nod.

“Yes. Let’s go.”

The driver pulls up, and it’s strangely giving you a sense of deja vu when you get out of the car and into the dark and windy night, as well as an ominous feeling, like something horrible was going to happen- but you brushed it off and blamed it on your nerves.

You recall the words of your boss- just look around the area for anything suspicious and report back. Fortunately, you’re outside at an abandoned plaza, a large lake in the middle of it, making the location seem much bigger than it was.

Your instincts immediately come back as you glance around, taking in your surroundings.

The area was suspected to be taken over by an unidentified group working against your organization, so you decided to split up and cover more ground to search for anything fishy.

“Jaemin, I think you can search the general outside area, around the lake and stuff.”

He nods at your words, adjusting his earpiece.

“I’ll go near the bridge,” jeno murmurs and you exhale, still taking in your surroundings.

“Alright, let’s go.”

And before you can make any moves, you feel both of your hands being grabbed, your body getting tugged in opposite directions.

You let out a small yelp in surprise, glancing around to find jeno having taken one of your hands to pull you one way while jaemin did the same with your other hand, pulling you the opposite way in his direction.

There’s an awkward moment as they realize what they both just did.

And still, a few seconds pass while you glance back and forth between the two and neither jaemin nor jeno have yet to let go of you.

Nervously laughing, you shake off both of their hands, muttering, “I’ll just go to that building over there... y-you know, by myself....”

As quick as possible, you make your escape (once again) briskly walking away from your teammates while still keeping an eye out.

There’s nothing suspicious around, but you still have an unsettled feeling in your stomach that won’t go away, no matter how much you reassure yourself.

Walking out of the building, you catch sight of jeno. You still, awkwardly standing in the doorway and debating whether to go over to him or hide- even when there was absolutely no reason to be hiding from him.

Either way, you don’t get to decide as he spots you and frantically heads your way, looking panicked, which immediately sets you off.

Breathless, he runs towards you, and you tense, examining his current condition.

“What? What is it jeno?”

He takes a quick glance around before pulling you back inside the building urgently as you stammer indignantly.

“There are guys,” he gasps. “Spotted them coming this way.”

You curse, trying to hide from the open spots through the building’s windows.

“That’s not it,” jeno adds, voice lowering to a whisper. “It’s the same gang from before.”

Your eyes widen as you press a hand to your mouth to keep yourself quiet.

“How many?”

Jeno blinks. “At least seven.”

“What are we going to do?” Your heart rate quickens as you remember your other teammate.

“Shoot, what about jaem? He’s still out there- does he know?”

Jeno lets out a frustrated sigh. “No- I spotted you first and quickly tried to get us to hide. I totally forgot.”

Exhaling, you press your earpiece, speaking softly,

“Jaem. Jaemin? Can you hear us?”

The two of you wait patiently, but there’s no response.

You repeat his name, and so does jeno.

There’s nothing.

Your anxiety increases and jeno softly squeezes your arm to comfort you.

“I’m sure jaemin’s fine, he can take care of himself.”

You frown, head snapping up to him. “How do you know that? Jaemin might not have any clue and those guys could easily spot him wandering around. He could get ambushed and since there’s more than-“

You get interrupted by the sound of approaching voices, apprehension striking you through the heart.

It takes everything in you not to make a sound as jeno pulls you closer to him, lessening the space between you and also the chance of anyone spotting your figure just barely peeking out.

You close your eyes, the sound of your soft breaths filling the air as you just focus on the feeling of his hand on your back, the noises from the people passing by getting fainter and fainter.

Once you confirm the coast is clear, you immediately back away, ignoring how jeno clears his throat and running a hand through your hair in stress.

You could always attack, you had no doubt in your abilities, but there was no telling how many more guys there were and if it would blow your cover or not.

“Are you sure there were seven?”

He frowns. “As far as I could tell...”

You squeeze your eyes shut, muttering, “I know we could take them on, but- there’s no telling if they have backup or if they’re planning to do something here at this time or not.”

Jeno nods solemnly, cautiously moving towards a window and peeking out as you continue to try and contact jaemin.

“It’s hard to tell,” he whispers, “but I think they’re leaving.”

Your eyes fly open, silently making your way to the window to glance out. You squint, the darkness obscuring your vision of the shadowy figures outside.

But jeno seems to be right, they seem to be packing up and leaving- although you’re not quite sure what they came here to do in the first place.

It feels like forever- waiting for them to slowly leave the area, plus a few extra minutes to confirm.

You pick at your hands anxiously, waiting. Where was jaemin? Did he get hurt? Why was he not responding?

Jeno finally gives the okay, and you leap to your feet, not caring anymore and bursting your way out of the building.

Gasping for air, you frantically search the whole area, running all around the place and calling for jaemin as jeno struggles to keep up with you- pleading for you to slow down a little.

You pay no heed to his words, the wind blowing your hair past and head whipping from side to side as you call out, voice hoarse, “Jaemin?”

You hear a faint shuffle, and your eyes zero in the spot near the fountain, where some benches are.

Your legs work on their own accord, bringing you closer as you call for jaemin once again.

You hear a muffled response, and adrenaline rushes through you.

Jaemin squeezes out from between one of the benches and a large positioned rock, looking albeit a little shaken but otherwise seeming unharmed and normal.

And for some reason, you can’t control yourself, running over to him and placing your hands on his face, sides, everywhere.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?”

He swallows. “I’m alright. I spotted those guys luckily before they spotted me, and somehow found this spot to hide. It was good that they stopped pretty close to where I was hiding- I was able to hear some of their conversations.”

You bristle. “It was good? How could it be good when you almost got spotted?

You hear jeno come up from behind, catching his breath from chasing after you. “Thank goodness you’re safe- why didn’t you answer us through the earpiece?”

Jaemin shrugs. “I couldn’t make any noise or else they would find me.”

You scoff, crossing your arms. “Yeah, well you could’ve done at least something. We had no idea what could’ve happened to you- if you got hurt or needed help!”

They both look surprised at your outburst. Jaemin raises an eyebrow. “ Chill y/n, I’m alright. You don’t have to be so worried-“

“How can I not be so worried when I almost lost you?” Your chest heaves and your fists are clamped tightly in balls to contain your frustration at his reaction to this situation.

How could he be so calm about this?

Jeno watches from the side, speechless.

Jaemin takes a step closer to you, confused and still a little shocked, and you take one back while staring furiously back at him.

“Lost me?” Y/n, you wouldn’t have lost me, because you know I can take fend for myself. These kinds of things happen all the time on our missions, I don’t get why you’re so worked up over this-“

“Because I have feelings for you, idiot!”

Oh.

There it was.

You inhale sharply, turning around and furiously stalking away. To where- you’re not sure, but you do know that you just need to get away from this place.

Jeno and jaemin stand there, unsure of what to do or say.

But jeno wasn’t unsure of what to say. He simply had nothing to say at all.

He wants to go after you, starting in your direction, but jaemin’s oddly quiet and low voice stops him.

“Don’t. Leave her alone for a while.”

And the tone in his voice tells jeno that jaemin wants to be left alone for a while too as he eventually stalks off.

Jeno stands there, alone, wondering if this was how it was really meant to be.

ꔫ

You walk for a long time.

A long time back to your place. Somehow, you do it.

There’s a lot of things that fuel your stamina.

Anger, frustration, confusion.

For one, you had absolutely no idea why you just randomly shouted out in a fit of anger that you liked jaemin.

Because you weren’t even sure if you did or not.

And of course, the whole jeno situation as well.

You’ve never thought of jeno differently before- in a romantic way before.

And when he almost kissed you?

They both make your head hurt, spin in circles until you can’t think straight anymore.

Since when did things change?

Since when did all these feelings get involved and complicate your entire relationship with each other?

You feel tired, your legs taking you back to the one place you want to go back to, the place where you can be alone.

Once you miraculously make your way to your familiar home, the sight seeming so much more welcoming than it ever did, you collapse into bed, feeling the most exhausted you’ve ever felt.

It’s the only thing you can do now- simply because you don’t want to do anything else.

And the next morning, you avoid everyone’s calls, concerned messages wondering about where you are and why you haven’t gone to work this morning.

Instead, you decide to do what you do best. Ignore everyone and shut yourself out from the world.

You do contact your boss and tell him that you’re taking a short break for personal reasons- even when you just returned back to your job.

And answer when ryujin texts you, blowing up your phone the second she found out you were “taking a break”.

Ryu (7:36am): what’s going on

Ryu (7:36am): why are you suddenly not going to work

Ryu (7:37am): y/n

Ryu (7:37am): answer me

Ryu (7:38am): answer

you (8:02am): I can’t believe im saying this

you (8:02am): But

Ryu (8:03am): omg you’re alive

you (8:04am): Boy problems

Ryu (8:04am): what

you (8:04am): Yeah

you (8:05am): That’s it

Ryu (8:05am): wait huh with who tho

you (8:06am): ...

Ryu (8:07am): oh

Ryu (8:07am): oh no

You turn your phone off for the rest of the day, feeling conflicted.

Was it childish of you to just cancel work to avoid two guys?

Was it childish to run away from your feelings?

You get an answer that night- in the form of a knock at your door.

You lazily get up, casually swinging the door open with no regard for who was behind it.

Once you get a glimpse of who it is, you stop in your tracks, heart stopping as you stare at him.

“-What are you doing here?”

He stares at you with desperate eyes. Those eyes. When you were stabbed. When you were upset from being stuck on bed rest and not able to do anything. When you were alone and he was there to comfort you.

With the same eyes you’ve probably looked at him with a million times before- you’ve just never realized until recently.

And then his lips on are yours, and you automatically entangle your hands into his hair.

The door shuts behind him with a frantic slam, effectively sealing the plans for your night.

ꔫ

Spending days away from everyone and everything allowed you to really reflect on everything that happened in the past month.

Getting stabbed, taking a break from work, finding out what was really hidden deep inside you- what was what you needed and wanted.

You were grateful to have the best teammates, ones that were selfless and always took care of you.

Especially now, after you got hurt and suspended from work, you were still grateful and appreciative of both jeno and jaemin.

Even when certain things and situations confused you, brought new feelings and secrets arise, you would never change a thing.

And when you sneak a glance to the guy still sleeping peacefully by your side, arms wrapped around tightly around you like he’s afraid you would escape or leave, you take the chance to look at him- truly look at him and all his features in a way you’ve always done before, but could never figure it out.

You always admired that jaemin was always the one taking care of everyone else- always selfless and thinking of others.

Always understanding and knowing what to do.

He’s always there.

And it took a lot more for you to realize that’s what you wanted, and that maybe the two of you are more alike than you thought.

Maybe you do like jaemin. Maybe you’ve liked jaemin for a long time and just never realized it.

And maybe you just want to love on him back a little.

(but just remove all the previous maybes.)

ꔫ

Jeno’s surprised to see you return to work that day- although late, but still here nonetheless.

You look much better and lively- he wonders what could’ve happened. (even when deep down, he already knows what must’ve happened.)

It’s hard to ignore the private whispers and looks that you and jaemin share, like you have a secret or inside joke that only jeno doesn’t know about, but obviously, it‘s just further proof that there’s something going on between you two.

And it’s hard to hide his true emotions in front of you and pretend that everything’s okay.

Pretend that you and jaemin together weren’t killing him on the inside and the fact that you’ve only ever thought of jeno as a friend wasn’t true.

Jeno so desperately wished that he realized he always liked you for a long time before, maybe even since the beginning.

Maybe things would have been different. Maybe if he knew earlier and told you sooner, you wouldn’t have discovered and revealed your feelings for jaemin.

Jeno also wishes that he knew that you never returned his own feelings at that time. Right when you jumped in front of him and said those five words the day you almost lost your life.

And yet, the smile on your face and sparkle in your eyes directed towards jeno is the same- maybe even a bit brighter now as he was all too familiar with the looks and laughs you sent his way before.

He wishes he knew it didn’t mean anything, and he didn’t fall for that smile.

Like the one, you’re sending to him now.

“Hey jeno, we’re gonna go grab some food. Wanna come?”

He grimaces and shakes his head, muttering some excuse about how he needs to watch his caloric intake.

It wasn’t that -he would gladly take food any day. But his appetite was gone. And to be honest, it had been for a while.

As he watches you walk off with jaemin, hands lovingly intertwined, that’s when he realizes it.

Yes, you might’ve saved jeno’s life, and you might’ve even been the love of his life -if he truly thought about it- but he was never yours.

And he never would be.

a/n: the fact that i had to use a random decider to choose the ending bc nomin things :) anyways if you made it to the end then ty for reading

taglist: @skrtbabe

reminder- any kind of feedback is always appreciated :)

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inevitably-johnlocked · 2 years

Note

Hi, Steph - I was wondering if you know any fics where John fakes his death? I know you have the Reverse Reichenbach list (which is cool), but mahbe you know any where John fakes his death AFTER TRF???

Maybe to investigate Moriarty's network on his own, or to take down Mary or something? I read some cool theories about this and was just curious if anyone actually wrote this :))) THANKS A MILLION ❤

Hey Lovely!

AHHHH I was gonna suggest my Rev. Reichenbach lists :(

Reverse Reichenbach

Reverse Reichenbach Pt. 2

----

Specifically after TRF? Hmm:

Hide and Seek by Arwen Jade Kenobi (T, 6,934 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Reverse Reichenbach, Mycroft is a Dick, Depression, Case Fic, Friendship, Reunion) – Pseudo sequel to "The Refining Fire." "You owe him the truth, and you owe me the proof that will convince him that I had no part in this."

I'd be Lost Without my Blogger by shadenc (T, 8,057 w., 6 Ch. || Rev. Reich, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Pining) – "There are several snipers with their guns pointed at your head this very moment. Now, if you look up you'll see John and myself on the rooftop of Bart's. Understand the game yet?" "Shoot me. Let him go and shoot me." "Noble now, are we? Unfortunately, you are not the one who will make that decision."

When Evening Falls So Hard by Ballykissangel (K+, 8,251 w., 2 Ch. || Heavy Angst, Hurt, Comfort, No Slash) – All the kings horses, all the kings men couldn't put John Watson and Sherlock Holmes back together again. Post reichenbach prequel to We Might Not Make It Home. Returning Sherlock never dreamed they would end like this, he never thought he would be watching a shattered John standing on the roof edge of Barts leaving a death note as Sherlock begs him not to jump.

When to Let Go by KendylGirl (M, 22,109 w., 8 Ch. || Friends to Lovers, Reverse Reichenbach, Sacrifice, Forgiveness, Angst, Love, Implied Drug Use) – What if it were John who had to die to thwart Moriarty's plans? John's supposed death shatters Sherlock, and when he returns, it will challenge the pair to forge a path of forgiveness, to peace, and to find a way back to each other. Part 1 of When to Let Go

Impossible to Feign by achray (M, 49,204 w., 12 Ch. || TRF Rewrite / Reverse Reichenbach, Suicidal Ideations / Discussions, Drug Use/Abuse, Mutual Pining, Friends With Benefits, John Accepts his Sexuality, Anxious Sherlock, Meddling Mycroft, Depression, Hallucinations, Secret Agent John, BAMF John, Reunion, Make-Up Sex, Ambiguous Ending) – Sherlock leant forward, his long fingers curving round to grip John’s.“I won’t let him win,” he said, eyes hard. “I will do whatever it takes to get you out.”

The Burning by SrebrnaFH (M, 60,658 w., 24 Ch. || Reverse Reichenbach, Suicide, Depression, Hurt Sherlock / John, Separation, BAMF John, Good Big Brother Mycroft, Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, Fake Character Death, Rescue Mission, Reconciliation / Reunion, Hospitalization, Marriage Proposal, Illnesses, Physical Therapy, Happily Ever After) – Something went very, very wrong. John had seemed, if not happy, then reasonably content with his life. Sherlock had never predicted something like THIS might have happened. Not in his worst nightmares. He was the lousiest friend ever, apparently. At least Mycroft found him something to occupy his mind with, so that he didn't have to go back to 221B and stare at the walls and the chair, where John Watson would never sit again.

-------

If anyone has any I missed, please do add them!

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #my fic recs #reverse reichenbach #post trf fics #trf fics #john jumps instead of sherlock fics

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faejilly · 3 years

Text

nightmares turn to dreams

for @flaine1996 as part of the @masseffectholidaycheer

Part 2 of 2: after (fic) [part 2: before (music)]

aka Thane & Kaidan during ME3, and how they’ve dealt with their lives after they met Shepard (background F!Shenko) because how you do a thing matters.

Hospitals are too damned bright.

This one's at least got big picture windows, so it's not all that fake white sterility.

If Kaidan thinks about it too much it makes him feel worse, though, because he's inside a space station. It's not real sunlight, it's not real fresh air, and yet it fools him for a moment every morning when he first looks "outside", and wants to crack the window to let some of that in.

But the outside's not much different than the inside, even with all the cultivated plants and water out there. (There are plants and water in here, after all. They'd wheeled him to the atrium as soon as he could manage sitting up, and they let him walk himself there now that he's a bit more mobile.)

He misses the wind off the seashore, the tang of real pine as the air starts turning cold, the way frost makes the inside of his nose tickle. (It'd be a terrible idea, of course, sitting outside in a Canadian autumn in the shape he's in, but he wants it, beyond rhyme or reason or logic.)

Or maybe he wants it to be summer, sitting on a porch drinking a cold beer.

Nothing quite like a cold beer on a hot day, his grandmother had told him once, back when he'd been granted his first spare sip of his father's drink, and almost spat it out again at how dank and bitter it had tasted. She'd had a quirk of a smile on her face, and the rest of the adults had barely smothered their laughter at his expression. Though you might not agree with me on that one just yet.

Or ever, his mother had answered, shaking her head over her sparkling water. She never did drink beer, and seldom used wine for anything other than cooking, either. Some of us still don't.

"You still with me?"

Kaidan blinks, makes himself focus on Tiana, his physical therapist. "Sorry," he answers, his voice rough in his too dry throat. He reaches out a hand, and she slips a water bottle in it before he can even ask. He drinks, tries not to think too much about how different the tepid liquid is from the beer in his memory.

Tiana shakes her head when he passed the bottle back, a smile clear in the flare of her mandibles. "No apologies necessary. We're almost done."

Kaidan sighs out a breath in relief, ignores the ache in his thighs and back, and makes himself do one more rep, than another.

"There we go," Tiana sighs with him as he finishes. "Time to cool down."

Kaidan nods, and doesn't bother trying to speak again as they go through the familiar routine. Sweat is slick on his skin, and he hates how exhausted he is, hates the dull throb from the neutral amp they'd put in to make sure his biotics didn't flare during his recovery.

SOP for head wounds; he knows that, but that doesn't mean he likes it.

He never thought he'd miss that sharp-sweet pressure from his L2 implants, that constant background he'd forced himself to accept over the years, but now that it's temporarily suppressed he doesn't quite feel like himself, almost as off-kilter from the change in the static between his ears as from relearning the shape and stretch of his body.

He wonders, a little, how much worse it must have been for Shepard, to wake up with everything different around her, body and mind and galaxy...

He shakes his head, and makes himself focus on the here and now.

He's got it so much better than she did, he doesn't have anything to complain about, not really.

He's not isolated, he's got messages from his folks waiting for his reply, even a quick note from Anderson in his inbox. He's got a tech analysis to go over from Tali, who asked for a second opinion, and a rant from Garrus about their current REV that ends with a truly bewildered how the fuck does this damn thing make me miss the Mako?

Nothing from Shepard, but he understands that, he does. They need more than blank words on a screen. She'd come to visit him, he knew that, but he'd been too far gone, not yet awake, and he wishes...

He just has to wait.

He's getting better, even if it's at a frustratingly slow pace...

Unlike his standing dinner engagement. Krios is never going to get better.

He and Thane eat together most days.

They don't ever talk about Shepard, the one thing that they have in common, the one thing that brought them together...

It's nice, actually, to talk to someone who didn't know him before, who has no expectations, no preconceptions. Who goes still whenever Kaidan does, whenever one of them thinks of something from their past that's too heavy to let slip away quickly.

Only tonight, Thane doesn't go silent, as if he can tell that Kaidan's worries are closer to the surface than usual.

"She keeps a picture of you."

Kaidan blinks, his fork hovering somewhere between his plate and his mouth.

"In her quarters, on her desk." Thane blinks, more slowly than usual, the movement of his eyelids easy to follow. He exhales, heavy and rasping. "A reminder, I think, not just of why she fights, but how she chooses to do so."

Kaidan closes his eyes, puts his fork down with a soft tunk. It aches, twisting and bitter, somewhere in his chest where his heart's supposed to be.

He'd failed to be there for her, and yet she acted like he had been, and he wasn't sure he'd ever forgive himself...

Thane scoffs in the back of his throat, the noise softer and deeper than one Kaidan would make, caught in the dregs of his illness, in the shape of his mouth and tongue. "I do not say that to make you feel worse, Alenko."

Kaidan manages half a smile, opens his eyes. "But I'm good at feeling guilty, Krios, what else should I do?"

Thane rolls his eyes, his expression soft. "Not that."

"You any good at taking your own advice?"

"I have made my peace—"

Kaidan scoffs that time, louder and sharper. "No, you haven't. Settling into dying isn't the same thing as accepting how you lived."

Thane is truly still this time, his hands pressing down on the table hard enough that Kaidan can see the shape of the seam through the thick joint in his middle finger.

"There are things I've done..." Thane trails off.

"I killed my first man when I was a teenager." Kaidan shrugs as Thane tilts his head, clearly listening, even as he doesn't quite lift his head enough to meet Kaidan's gaze. "And sure, it was provoked out of me, was mostly a protective instinct, and I'm not sure there was a way to have stopped it, not with everything else that was happening..." He trails off this time, swallows. He knows Thane is waiting for him to finish, recognizes that he's not trying to stop, that he just has to line up the words properly. "But for just a moment I was glad I'd stopped him, proud of what I was capable of doing to another person, and no matter how horrified I was a moment later, I will never again not know that about myself."

Thane nods, slow and steady and understanding. Kaidan had thought he'd understand. Not a lot of people would. "And then what did you do, once you learned yourself?"

Kaidan huffs out something that's not a laugh. "I got lost for awhile."

"Perhaps I should let myself get lost." Thane's voice is thick, and a little damp, and Kaidan can't quite tease out the emotion from his illness.

I don't think you have the time. But Kaidan knows not to say that. Doesn’t even want to, really. Thane doesn’t need the time, after all, not like Kaidan had, all those years ago.

"I don't know, I think that's hard to do when you've found yourself again, already." Kaidan lets himself smile; it's not entirely happy, but it's there, and he sees the tension in Thane's shoulders ease at the sight of it. "You've got Kolyat, and your memories. And the Normandy."

"We both have Shepard."

Kaidan nods. He knows he does, knows he will, when he can stand on his own, when she comes back. It might not be what it was, nothing's ever exactly what it was, but they'll still have... something. They'll make it enough, he's sure of it. "We'll always have Shepard. And she'll always have us."

"Always?" Thane doesn't have an eyebrow to raise, but the expression's familiar nonetheless, sardonic but not as heavy as he was a moment ago. Thane doesn't have much time left.

“How she chooses to fight, remember?” How you live matters, even when you're not around to see the consequences. Kaidan knows he'll never forget Thane Krios, and the company he had during this odd oasis in his life. Knows Shepard never forgets any of her friends. Kaidan's smile is a bit easier this time, and it widens even further when he sees Thane smile back, small but sincere. Thane understands. "So yeah. Always."

#flaine1996 #masseffectholidaycheer #mass effect #kaidan alenko #thane krios #jilly writes #me ot

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marauder-exe · 4 years

Text

Moving Day- Sirius Black x Reader

Request: Hi, can I request a Sirius black x reader with the prompts 65, 69, 79, 86, 91, and 100 from prompt list #2.

Prompts: 65.“How about a kiss?”

69. “Let me help you with that.”

79.“No, like…. It’s just, I can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes.”

86.“You are so beautiful — So fucking beautiful.”

91.“It was always you.”

100.“I remember practising how to ask you out in the mirror..”

Word Count: 1.2K

It was the summer after 6th year. You'd decided to move out of your childhood home, nothing was wrong with your home, there was just never enough space for all the antics you and the boys ended up in. And it would be nice to get away from your family and your crowded city during the summers. What wasn't so great however, was moving day. The constant moving back and forth between your city and your new home was exhausting, but luckily, you had the ever so entertaining Sirius Black to help. The rest of the boys where supposed to help but they never turned up. You chalked it up to, they either forgot or they just didn't really want to help, but you brushed it off anyhow. At least Sirius was here to make you feel better. He always had that effect on you, you loved it, of course, the butterflies, the giggles. You loved it a little less when you knew he didn't reciprocate your feelings. But you couldn't really do anything about it. Having him as a friend was better than not having him at all.

It was around midday, and you where utterly exhausted, after having moved boxes for the last six hours. Your arms strained and your entire body hurting. Your arms where hoisted in the air, desperately trying to put a box on a shelf that was just a smidgen too high. Sirius walked in after stopping in the kitchen for a drink, putting his glass down after noticing you where struggling.

“Here, let me help you.” His hand gripped your waist as he took the box with one hand, placing it on the right shelf. You turned and put your your hands on his chest.

“Ah my night in shining armour!” You shouted dramatically. “How could I ever repay you?” You threw a hand on your forehead for increased dramatic-ism.

“How about a kiss?” He smirked cheekily, puckering his lips. You giggled and pushed his face away.

“Ugh you wish” You walked away, swaying your hips, throwing a smile back at him. You and where like that, always had been, probably always will be. It never meant anything, the flirts, the cuddles, the googly eyes. He made that evident when he slept with nearly every girl in Hogwarts. Deep down it stung, because you desperately wanted it to mean something more, and so did he.

“Im absolutely parched, how about you Pads?” You dived onto the couch with a sigh.

“Couldn't agree more, love.” He joined you on the couch, your head now in his lap. This felt right.

“How about….” You looked up at him hopefully. “You, go to Tony’s and pick up some pizza, and get some coffee on the way back.” Pointing at him, giving extreme puppy dog eyes, hoping it would work. “And I’ll stay here and have a nice nap” You grinned.

“Well how could I refuse that adorable face.” He began to get up. “Do not fall asleep, misses, you need to keep moving stuff, or we’ll never get this done. Also why do you have so much stuff, so many damn books, its impressive to be honest” He laughed. He picked up his motorcycle keys and his leather jacket, while you just stared at him, you where well and truly head over heels.

“Admiring, love?” He smirked.

“Pfttt, of course not.” You brushed it off and he just chuckled.

“Right, you” He pointed a finger at you. “keep moving, no sleeping”

“Wouldn't dream of it” You giggled. He quickly left, obviously as hungry as you. You lay on the couch and sighed. He’ be gone for at least an hour, he gets very distracted sometimes. So you thought, a little nap couldn't hurt. But it was absolutely freezing in your new home, as the heaters hadn't been installed yet. You jumped of the couch and tried to look for anything to keep you warm, maybe wearing a tank top and shorts wasn't the best idea. Then from the corner of your eye, you spotted one of Sirius’ Led Zeppelin. You couldn't. Could you? Yeahhhhh, he’ll be fine with it, you guys had shared a bed before never mind clothes. You grabbed the top, shuffling it on. It dangled over your frame as Sirius was a lot taller than you, but you just giggled. You made yourself comfortable on the couch and drifted into peace.

You had heard the revving of Sirius’ motorcycle and you stirred in your sleep, not wanting to wake up. His keys jangled in the door as he stepped into the house. He naturally had his own key to your house already. He quickly got some cutlery from the kitchen and entered the living room. But he stopped when he saw you, laying so peacefully, sun beams lighting up your features beautifully, in his shirt. You stirred and opened your eyes slowly, adjusting to the light in the room. To your surprise, Sirius was already staring at you.

You gave a lopsided grin and said “Admiring, love?” Mirroring his earlier words.

“No, its just.. I cant believe your wearing my clothes.” He looked shocked. And he honestly was. The girl he was pining after for the last 6 years, was wearing his clothes, and it was his favourite shirt..

“Oh, im sorry, am I not allowed too?” You giggled.

“No its just, your so beautiful… so fucking beautiful” A blush creeped up your neck at his words. And you two stared, stared at each other longer than you ever had before. Then he did the unthinkable, he rushed over to you and his lips immediately attached to your, in a passionate, meaningful kiss. It felt electric.. Everything you two had felt in the last 6 years, poured into one kiss

You broke apart, foreheads resting against each other.. “be mine.” He breathed. Your words hitched in the back of your throat. He actually liked you like that.

“I never knew you liked me in that way”

“Honestly?” He questioned. “(Y/N), Ive been after you since the first day I lay my eyes on you. I remember James throwing a pack of Bertie Bots at me because I was staring at you for so long” You both laughed at the memory of 6 years ago. “All those girls, they where a distraction, because I thought you'd never go for a guy like me. Its you, (Y/N). its always been you.” His speech almost made you tear up.

“Of course ill be yours, do you even need to ask?” You giggled, and threw your arms around his, wrapping him in another passionate kiss.

You broke apart and stared into each others eyes, “You know” He stroked your cheek with his thumb, “I remember practising how to ask you out in the mirror, James helping psych me up” He grinned.

“Ever the sweetie Sirius Black.”

“Only for you (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N)”

#Sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #sirius black x y/n #sirius black fanfiction #marauders #marauders era #marauder era #padfoot

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broadwaybaggins · 4 years

Note

"I'm calling in that favor you owe me. Actually, I'm calling in all the favors you owe me," she said. First line fanfic

"I'm calling in that favor you owe me. Actually, I'm calling in all the favors you owe me," she said.

“I owe you favors already? That doesn’t sound like me.” Emma grinned at Mary as she rifled through her dufflebag, searching for the contraband candy and other assorted junk food that she had stashed there. Lights’ out for the campers had been thirty minutes ago, and the counselors were meeting up to “unwind” after the long day--which meant drinking, s’mores making, and other such shenanigans.

“I’m serious, Emma. Oh, hey, Cheeto me.” Mary caught the bag of Cheetos that Emma tossed her way and opened it in one practiced motion. “I need to know everything you can tell me about that Jed Foster.”

“Ah. Trouble in the health lodge?”

Mary rolled her eyes. “Only if you call him second-guessing every single decision I made trouble. He even asked me if I was sure I wanted to use that brand of calamine lotion on Hattie’s mosquito bites.”

“I’m sorry, I should have warned you about him. He’s a bit...prickly.”

“That’s the understatement of the year. You know what he told me? ‘I know more about these things than you.’ As if we’re not both pre-med and there’s really that many ways to treat a damn mosquito bite. What is his problem?”

Emma shrugged, opening up a bag of Sun Chips. “He usually works here with his girlfriend, but she got a fancy internship in LA instead this year. Didn’t even talk to him about it, so I guess he’s pretty pissed. He shouldn’t take it out on you, though, that’s not cool.”

Mary sighed, running a hand through her bobbed hair. “It’s not. At least he’s decent with the kids. That’s about the only thing that kept me from trying to beat him to death with an Ace bandage.”

“He’s nice once you get to know him, I promise. It just...takes a while.”

Mary considered her thoughtfully. “Samuel said the same thing. I guess that’s as good an endorsement as any.”

“Laaaaaaaaaaaay-deeeeeeeeeeees!” a new voice sang, and Emma watched as Anne Hastings strode into view. She had a tote bag emblazoned with various logos for Broadway shows slung over her shoulder, and from inside it Emma could hear bottles clinking. “I hereby declare this party started.” She took one strap of the bag off her shoulder and began to rifle through it. “What’s your poison? I’ve got wine coolers, Fireball, a little bit of peach schnapps--”

Mary made a face. “Got anything good in there?”

Anne fixed Mary with a withering look. “Excuse me, baroness, but some of us actually have to rely on our paltry counselor’s salary! I was a bit limited in my selections at the local excuse for a liquor store!”

“It’s okay, Anne. I’m sure the others will have something else if Mary prefers,” Emma said quickly, wanting to avoid an argument. She had seen the way Mary had bristled at Anne’s baroness comment, and how Anne’s eyes were glinting with annoyance. “Frank usually brings some Bud Light or something. It’s all good.”

“Fine,” Mary said after a second. Anne responded by reaching for a wine cooler out of her bag and taking a swig. “Come on, girls,” she said, linking arms with Emma and leaving Mary to bring up the rear. “The fire waits for no woman.”

They quickly made their way to the firepit where the other counselors were gathering. They walked quickly and quietly, not necessarily because they were afraid of being caught--the only real danger was if they woke up Mrs. Brannan, whose tiny cabin was right next to the dining hall--but because the act of sneaking around made everything seem so much more fun and exciting.

They were among the last to arrive. Samuel and Charlotte were there, sitting close together, Sam’s guitar propped against the log next to them. Emma saw Alice wearing tiny cutoffs and what was perhaps the tiniest bikini top known to man. Emma wasn’t sure how she wasn’t freezing her buns off. Anne immediately abandoned them when she spotted Byron, launching herself at him as if he were a soldier returning from war that she hadn’t seen in years.

“How long has that been a thing?” Mary asked as she watched Byron shove his tongue down Anne’s throat. She turned away and reached for one of the Bud Lights that Emma had mentioned. She popped the top and took a sip, grimacing. “Beer is gross.”

“And yet we drink it.”

The arrival of Jed Foster caused both girls to turn towards him. He, too, was clutching a can of Bud that was currently sweating into his palm. A guitar was slung over his shoulder like a backpack. “Hey, Jed,” Emma said kindly.

“My dear Miss Green. How is life in the art barn?”

“Oh, you know how it is.”

His eyes flickered over to Mary almost nervously. “Mary.”

“Jed.” She nodded at his guitar. “You play?”

“When the moment calls for it,” he said coolly.

All right, this was interesting. Despite her earlier animosity, Emma could see clear interest in Mary’s eyes as she gazed at Jed. Anne would say that Mary had a lady-boner for him, and Emma wasn’t entirely sure she was wrong.

“I’m gonna...get a drink,” she mumbled, leaving the two to work through their mutual sexual tension in their own time. She turned and almost immediately collided with a warm body that smelled of campfire and pine. She knew because her nose collided with his shirt.

“Woah!” Emma felt hands on her upper arms--she’d worn a tank top and was already starting to feel chilly, but the contact caused warmth to go straight through her--to steady her. “My bad. Sorry, Emma.”

“Henry!” There he was, wearing the same outfit as earlier when they’d been in the loft together, but now his sleeves were rolled up a little and he was barefoot. There was a band-aid on his thumb that hadn’t been there earlier. “What happened to you?”

Henry shrugged. “Little disagreement with a bee. Jed and Mary fixed me up. Can I get you a drink? We have quite a selection. Beer, or beer. Or...” he grinned and held up another six-pack, already half gone. “Beer!”

“Anne brought some stuff, but I think she’s...busy.”

“That’s one word for it. Has she worked here long?”

“Yeah, this is her...” Emma tried to think. It was a little hard to focus when he was looking at her like that, the firelight shining on his face. “Fourth summer? Fifth summer? I can’t remember. Fourth, I think. She started when she was like seventeen.”

“What’s the deal with the accent?” he asked, lowering his voice. “Like, is it an act, or...”

Emma laughed. “I can see why you’d think so, but it’s actually real. She’s English. Or half English, at least. I can’t remember which parent.”

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!”

Henry winced as Byron’s voice rang out through the camp. He had climbed up onto a stump just outside of the circle of logs around the fire and held one of Anne’s bottles high above his head. “Isn’t he worried about waking the kids?”

“Byron doesn’t worry about anything.”

“Your attention please!” Byron bellowed. “Counselors of our beloved Camp Green Wood! Another summer has begun! Another summer of camraderie, friendship, and shenanigans--”

“Get to the fuckin’ point, Hale!” Frank called out, his arm slung over Alice’s shoulder. His words caused a ripple of laughter around the circle.

“Come on, let’s sit down. He does this every year and we need to be sitting for it, it’s a whole thing,” Emma leaned up to whisper in Henry’s ear. They made their way to the circle and sat down on the only remaining empty log, between Mary and Jed and Sam and Charlotte. It was a bit crowded by this point, so Emma ended up with her entire side pressed up against Henry. She said a silent prayer of thanks that she’d stolen a bottle of Alice’s signature Georgia Peach body spray.

Byron put a dramatic finger to his lips. In case the message wasn’t abundantly clear, Anne’s loud “Shhhhhhhhh!”, followed by “Shut the fuck up, Stringfellow!” brought about the desired dramatic silence.

Byron hopped off the stump, still brandishing the bottle. “I hereby declare the summer officially....” he paused for effect. “Started!”

He smashed the bottle against the stump like he was christening a yacht. It exploded, and the assembled counselors let out appreciative claps and cheers that almost drowned out Anne’s screech of “I didn’t put the tarp down! You said you’d let me put the tarp down! YOU ARE CLEANING UP EVERY BIT OF THAT BROKEN GLASS, BYRON HALE!”

“He does that every year?” Henry asked, his expression unreadable.

“Every year. And every year he forget to do it in a way that doesn’t release broken glass everywhere. You can set your watch by it.”

“This place is crazy,” Henry remarked, but he didn’t sound scared off by this fact. Someone was passing around a bag of marshmallows, and Henry took two and handed one over to Emma.

“What kind of marshmallow toaster are you?” he asked. “Let it get nice and golden, or put it straight in the fire?”

Charlotte handed Emma one of the marshmallow skewers, and Emma answered by sticking it right into the center of the flames. Henry looked aghast.

“No!” he cried. “No, no, wrong! You’ve got to do it slowly, gently...”

“It’s no use, Rev,” Charlotte said, nudging Emma with her shoulder. “I’ve tried to talk her out of it so many times. Our Emma just lives for chaos.”

Emma retrieved her burning marshmallow and quickly blew out the remaining flames, leaving it charred just the way she liked it. “You’re both wrong. This is the only way to do it.”

Sam had been strumming his guitar gently, tuning it as Jed worked on his. Mary perched nearby, eating a s’more and pretending she wasn’t watching. Sam gave one final strum and looked up. “All right! Any requests?”

“You promised me some Sheryl Crow,” Charlotte reminded him.

“Later, Char. You don’t start a set with Sheryl Crow.” Jed’s face implied that such a thing was ludicrous. Emma wondered how much trouble she’d be in if she throw her flip-flop at him.

Perry, one of the junior counselors, had been creeping their way. He tapped Sam on the shoulder and whispered in his ear.

“Huh? Oh, sure, why not.” Sam conferred with Jed for a moment before counting them off. “Okay, one-two-three-four.”

“When I wake up, oh I know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the man who wakes up next to you!”

The song was met with a mix of groans and cheers. Henry looked up from assembling his s’more with precision and laughed. “This is definitely gonna be an interesting summer.”

Emma grinned and hoped she wasn’t imagining the way he seemed to lean closer to her as he said it.

#summer camp AU #modern Mercy Street #Emma Green #Henry Hopkins #Jed Foster #Mary Phinney #Samuel Diggs #Charlotte Jenkins #Anne Hastings #Byron Hale #Alice Green #Frank Stringfellow

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fangirl-ramblings · 4 years

Text

AIN'T NO SUNSHINE WHEN SHE'S GONE

Pairing: Micah Bell x Jenny Kirk (established relationship) / brief mention of Lenny Summers x Jenny Kirk (pining)

Summary: Micah doesn’t much care for anybody, let alone himself, but somehow young Jenny Kirk had managed to break down his walls - that is until that fateful day in Blackwater.

Now holed up in an abandoned mining town, Micah is refusing to let himself dwell on the memories of that day - but with little success.

Notes: Mainly pre-canon, focusing on the Blackwater Ferry Job, & the ride up to Colter

Angst, a hint of (consensual) NSFW,

CW: gun violence, one fairly gory description of wounds, Micah Bell with feelings

To @ring-my-micah-bell hope you enjoy your @rdrsecretcupid2020 gift. (apologies it’s not very Valentine-y-, but it is very Micah heavy - I hope I’ve done him justice for you)

Special thanks to the ever supportive @gangofgunslingers @zacklover24 @horsegirl1h & @budgietime for having a look over this & putting my mind at rest.

~* Tumblr Masterlist | Stories on AO3 *~

Late May 1899

***

Micah had always hated the quiet nights the most, the kind of nights where sleep’s reach was close enough to reach out and grab hold of him.

After the events of the last week or so, he had the excuse that the Pinkertons could be close behind and there was no time to rest - the gang simply had to keep moving, but now, sitting in the rickety old cabin in the middle of a Grizzlies snowstorm that refused to let up, he still could not to allow himself to fall asleep. He couldn’t bear the thought of closing his eyes and seeing her face looking back at him, while he’d be unable to reach out to touch and hold her close, like he so desperately wanted to.

Early May 1899

Looking over towards the gangway, Micah spotted Dutch in a calm conversation with a young, unknown woman, a passenger on the ferry perhaps, trying to use his charm to persuade her to stop blocking the only exit from the boat, but she stood firm, causing Dutch to become more and more frustrated.

The fire in Jenny’s eyes shone as brightly as the sun in the clear blue sky, as she realised how much money was on board the ferry and that Micah’s information was as good as he promised it would be. She smiled and kissed him passionately as they stuffed their saddlebags to the brim with the stolen cash.

Running outside to make their getaway, Micah watched with horror as that sweet smile of hers slowly faded, being replaced with a confused look etched across her face instead. Her delicate hands moving to clutch her stomach as a pool of red started to spread across her blouse, staining the porcelain like skin of her fingers.

Quickly turning around, Micah growled as he saw a well suited man trying to quickly reload his gun. He didn’t look like the average Blackwater deputy, who they’d paid close attention to when they scouted the place out in the last week-or-so, but Micah noticed the man still tried to give off an air of authority. Firing from the hip, Micah felt satisfaction as he somehow managed to place a bullet between the bastard’s eyes, before turning his attention back to Jenny. With the pair of them simply looking at each other’s expression, unable to find the words, they both understood it wasn’t just the local law who had turned up; and a swift glance at her wounds made them realise they needed to get off the ferry quickly and get her some medical assistance, before it was too late.

“Boss, we ain’t got time for pleasantries, we need to get the hell off of here.“

Dutch hesitated for a brief moment, his hand resting on his revolver, as he looked at Micah and then at Jenny’s face, draining of any colour she once had, before turning back to face the unknown woman in front of him.

"Sorry Miss, but either it’s you or one of us that isn’t getting off this boat alive… and I ain’t sacrificing one of my own"

"What the hell Dutch?” John shouted, as he ran over, alongside Javier, clutching his arm where a bullet had ripped apart the fabric of his jacket and grazed his arm. Whereas Javier stood speechless, looking at the body of the woman, who was now laying with her back on the floor, with the insides of her skull on show to everybody, then back to Dutch’s blank expression.

“It’s us or them boys” Dutch coolly replied putting away his gun and callously stepping over the woman’s corpse as he made his way off the ferry, down on to the pier. Micah quickly followed, with Javier quickly taking hold of Jenny’s other side, helping her down the gangway.

Taking cover behind a pile of crates, from the hail of bullets, that now seemed to be flying around them, Micah briefly noticed that Jenny wasn’t the only one injured. As the others started running past them, he noticed that Charles had somehow burnt his hand, while Davey had also obtained a nasty gunshot wound to his abdomen. He also heard talk about Mac & Sean being missing, but at that moment in time, this was just background noise to him - nothing to concern himself with. His sole focus was on getting Jenny somewhere safe, somewhere where he could make sure she was alright. Looking over one of the crates, as he took aim at one of the many lawmen firing back at him, he noticed that the weather had changed. The sunny, blue sky of the spring morning seemed to have turned into a dull, overcast afternoon, the sky now filled with grey rain clouds, threatening to rain at any moment.

A few days later

“Anybody can see the damned fool making moon eyes at you from across the campfire”

With the sun hidden firmly behind the torrents of snow, viciously falling all around them, Micah watched on from a closer distance than he would have liked. Sat on top of Baylock, he looked on as Lenny worked hard, digging a hole at the side of the road. Feeling nothing but pity and disgust as he saw the grief and sorrow etched on the young man’s face, with tears continuously falling down his face and landing into the makeshift grave.

What gives him the right to grieve over her? Micah thought to himself, spitting on the floor in anger and disgust. What gives that boy the right to grieve over his Jenny like *they* were childhood sweethearts? The most she had ever done was exchange a few pleasantries here and there as she wandered past him around camp. He couldn’t help but think back to one of the last times they lay on his bedroll together, when he had warned her about being nice to the boy.

“Shut up you fool, if I was interested in the kid do you think I’d layin’ next you right now strokin’ your cock?” She’d smirked, before straddling herself across his lap and kissing him with both tenderness & passion.

With Rev. Swanson finishing his eulogy and the blizzard continuing to rage on around them, with no sign of letting up, Micah cleared his throat and wiped his eyes. He knew he wouldn’t be able to stomach watching everybody pitying and fussing over Lenny, so he turned away and instead headed over towards the front of the wagon train, finding Dutch deep in conversation with Hosea.

“We can’t afford to keep stopping like this.”

“I know Dutch, but hopefully we’ve lost those Pinkertons bastards in this blizzard and we need to lay poor Jenny to rest, poor Lenny couldn’t continue riding alongside her lifeless body.” Hosea explained, trying to settle Dutch’s frayed nerves

“Sorry Boss, but I couldn’t help overhear’’ Micah interrupted, causing Hosea to shoot a disgruntled look in his direction. “Maybe I could go on ahead and see if I can find a place to stay, so we can lie low outta this storm?”

“Now that is a plan, best one I’ve heard since Blackwater” Dutch grinned “See Hosea, somebody is actually willing to do something to help solve our problems, instead of sitting around talking to me about them” Hosea rolled his eyes at that comment, knowing it was simply the sleep making his oldest friend talk that way. “Yes, son. Go and see what you can find us and be quick about it”

Micah tipped his hat as he rode off, feeling a sense of relief. At least this way he could grieve in peace, without anybody asking questions and accusing him of being weak by displaying his emotions.

***

Late May 1899

Opening his eyes and adjusting them to the darkness of the room, Micah stood up and shook the thoughts from his head. No, he thought, he couldn’t allow himself to think like that no more and he refused to let her death be in vain. He knew he had to find a way to make Dutch realise they need to go back and grab the Blackwater money and he didn’t care who else got hurt in the process.

#micah bell x jenny kirk #fangirl writes #Micah Bell maybe a rat - but he has feelings too you know #RDRSecretCupid2020

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steebharringt0n · 5 years

Text

Shadows of the Night | Vampire AU

dusk | night | dawn

Billy Hargrove doesn’t remember the last time he’s seen sunlight, or the last time he’s stepped inside a church. For over 500 years he’s been a vagabond, a wanderer, searching for a place to call home - until his travels land him in Hawkins, Indiana and his whole existence as he knows it is turned upside down.

pairing: billy hargrove x fem!reader rating: m (blood, a tint of smut, abuse, language)

a/n: OOOH boy this is gonna be a three parter! (as I forget my other stories - HA) anyways, this is a mix of Twilight/True Blood/Interview with the Vampire-esque type~ Please let me know if you want to be tagged for the next part! I’m hoping to finish this up by the weekend since it being halloween and all. This does take place in 2019, so yay for technology! Enjoy!

---

Part 1 - Dusk

The sun quietly set over the tall pine trees as the rumble of his 2019 blue Camaro drove past the brown sign that welcomed him into the little town. He enjoyed the drive down the winding roads, it was peaceful and still, and he didn’t have to hear anyone’s thoughts as music pounded through his sound system.

walt: heading back to ny?

He heard the familiar buzz of Iphone as it sat in one of his cup holders. He knew who it was, so he didn’t bother answering him. Besides, he kept track of his whereabouts through the phone. It was their agreement, he stays away from him but he keeps track of where he goes. It was how their relationship worked for the last 500 years, and he intended on keeping it that way.

It wasn’t that he hated Walt, but he wanted his space, his chance to explore the world without someone breathing down his neck. Walt had taught him well enough to know the 3 cardinal rules like the back of his hand - avoid churches, avoid sunlight and most of all, avoid giving into blood lust. Walt always had a penchant of reminding him every now and then, but he would just dully agree.

He wouldn’t consider Walt a father per say - but he was the only person who cared for him, looked after him, made sure his flask was always filled to the brim with the liquid that sustained him.

Besides, Walt was the one who turned him into the creature that he is today.

He chuckles at the memory, it’s still so fresh in his mind. He wonders what his life would have been if he hadn’t been turned that fateful night. But he was out drinking, and stumbled upon thieves who proceeded to beat him within an inch of his life. In 1500s Europe, no one would have batted an eye at him as he withered on the cobblestone, blood pooling from his mouth.

But Walt did.

Walt found an 18 year old William Hargrove dying by his feet in a dark alleyway. He pitied the boy as he gasped for air, pleading to be sent to a medic. Walt scooped the boy into his hands and took him to his house, where he proceeded to turn him - into a vampire that is - and subsequently saved his life.

He knew the responsibilities that came with turning someone into a vampire. Walt was constantly in tune with every emotion he felt - anger, sadness, pain - he felt a sense of fondness for him. Walt taught him everything he knew, how to properly feed, how to avoid getting caught, and how to harness his powers for the greater good, when he had to use them of course.

William then shed his name and became Billy, Billy Hargrove. Billy and Walt traveled all around the world, met fascinating people, pretty much saw history become history before their eyes, but they could never stay in one place for too long. People would become suspicious, people would start to talk, and that was the last thing they wanted.

Walt was one of the originals, Billy never asked how old Walt truly is, but he knows that Walt is old, very, very old. Walt was close with the Council - a high order of vampires who lived in the darkness within the streets of Rome. Billy swears that they were the first vampires created, hence why they have such a high importance within the community.

Whatever they say goes, and if you go against with that they say, it’s your head. So when Walt and Billy decided to part their ways, Walt made sure that Billy knew the basic rules of being a vampire.

Walt hoped that Billy would never have to meet the Council - they were a terrifying bunch that looked more monstrous than human. They were cutthroat, void of any empathetic emotions. Any run in with them was never any good - if you were summoned before them you had better hoped that you came out of it alive.

Billy heard his phone buzz again, the two minute reminder that he still had an unopened text. He let out an exhale through his nose, grabbing the phone and unlocking it with his thumb. He opened the text, but when straight to the telephone icon, pressing the button then pressing the phone to his ear.

“Still in Indiana I see?”

Billy let out a soft chuckle, “Yeah, one of my favorite bands were playing in Indianapolis, I missed them in New York. Thought I’d make a trip out of it and drive over”

“Ah, I see. Was Peter a good host? Hope his guest coffin wasn’t too small”

“Pete was great - he’s a bit of a talker that’s for sure. Would not stop talking about the Renaissance period though, as if I haven’t lived through it as well”

Walt laughed over the line, “Ah yes, he loves to bring up the Renaissance. Do you have a place to stay for the morning? I could ring up old friends nearby”

Billy glanced over at the clock in his car, it flashed 8:06, the night was still young, he’d figure something out.

“Nah, I’m good, I’ll hit you up if I can’t find anywhere though”

“Alright Billy - stay safe”

“You too Walt”

He promptly hung up the phone, placing it back into his cup holder. His eyes landed on the silver flask next to his phone. He wasn’t too hungry, Peter made sure that he left with his belly full, but a sip wouldn’t hurt. With the flick of his thumb, he removed the top, taking a swig of blood. As he placed the flask back down, he noticed signs for a nearby 7/11, he figured he could stop and pick up a pack of Marlboro's for the trip ahead.

He made a sharp left down the road, driving down until the luminous sign for the convenience store appeared out of the darkness. He parked his car in the closest space and hopped out, stretching his legs and arms. He sauntered into the store, heading straight for the register.

A blonde girl whose eyes were attached to her phone didn’t notice his presence. She annoyingly smacked her gum, laughing softly at whatever was on her phone. Billy cleared his throat, hoping to get her attention. She held up a finger to him, which irritated him to no end.

When she finally glanced up at him, her eyes widened.

Holy shit he’s fucking hot

He snickered at her thoughts. Since turning into a vampire, his complexion paled significantly, and it always was jarring for people to see him under fluorescent lights just how pale he actually was. Along with his baby blue eyes that popped, he was a sight for sore eyes. He knew the magnetism he had, he could charm the ladies with a wink and a smile. He had lost count how many lovers he had, but he was quite the expert in the sack.

“Hi. A pack of Marlboro’s please” he said, his voice came out like molasses, deep and rich.

The girl fumbled with her phone, shoving it in her pocket and hastily grabbing the pack of cigarettes behind her. With shaking hands she placed the box on the counter, ready to ring him up. He grinned at her.

He gently placed his hand over hers. She was warm compared to his cold skin. She glanced up at him, he could feel her heart start to race erratically as he started to charm her.

“Listen, I uh, forgot my wallet at home, is it cool if I just take this from you?”

His blue eyes bored into her green ones. He stared at her intensely, until his eyes started to turn red. She was completely hypnotized, another victim of one of his powers. He could manipulate people to do anything he wanted and for right now, he wanted a free pack of cigarettes.

She nodded slowly, her face void of any emotion as he released her hand and swiped the cigarettes off of her. His eyes turned back to the familiar baby blue as he winked at her, breaking the spell.

He turned his back towards her, starting to head back to his car when a shout stopped him in his track. He turned around, the girl at the counter leaned over with a soft smile on her face.

“Hey! Uhm, not sure what you’re doing tonight, but there’s a party going on, big Halloween bash, everyone in town is going to be there, maybe I’ll see you there?”

Billy pondered over it for a moment. He completely forgot that it was Halloween, being a vampire makes you lose track of time, and it’s not like he had to be in New York in the morning. He nodded at the girl, “Sure, what’s the address?”

He shuffled back over to the counter, retrieving the address from the back of an old receipt. He shoved it in his pocket and walked back into his car. As soon as he sat down, he pulled out the receipt and typed it into google maps. The house was located in the middle of the woods, and was only a few miles from here.

He revved up his car and pulled out of the 7/11 parking lot and towards the dark woods.

Little did he know how much this party would change the course of his life.

---

He arrived at the party, it was in full swing mode. His eyes scanned out the crowd that was outside the house and figured the rest of the party was inside the house. Everyone was in costume, except for him, but it wasn’t a problem. He glanced up at himself in his rear view mirror and opened his mouth.

His canines promptly turned into sharp fangs. He brought his thumb up to his mouth and with a quick bite, blood expelled from his thumb. He dabbed a little bit of it in the corner of his mouth, creating the illusion of a vampire costume. It was simple disguise and no one would question it.

He stepped out of his car, and was met with loud blaring music that pumped loudly throughout the night. As he neared closer to the house, his mind was suddenly slammed with everyone’s thoughts.

Most of them involving girls (and some guys) wanting to fuck him, while guys leered at him with contempt. He tuned out the thoughts as he entered the house, heading towards the punch bowl that he was sure contained jungle juice.

He poured himself a cup and scanned the crowd, leaning on a kitchen counter. Costumes were an abundance in every genre, horror, mythical, some straight up stupid, but when his eyes landed on you, the whole world suddenly came to a hard stop.

He wanted to laugh at how fate worked that night. You were in a tight black dress, fishnet stockings and heels. Your hair was curled to perfection and your lips with a bright ruby red. There were faint bite marks on your neck which he assumed were fake, and fangs sticking out of your mouth, which he then knew, that it was fake.

When you decided to go as a vampire, it was a last minute option. Your best friend let you borrow some make up and with a few touches, you looked like the mistress of the dark. You weren’t really into the whole dressing up thing anyways, the party was more of an opportunity to get drunk, maybe get high and just let loose.

Billy started to inch closer to you, focusing his attention on trying to read your thoughts.

But he was met with radio silence.

He frowned. This had never happened. He concentrated harder on you, but still, your thoughts were nowhere to be read.

His heart began to pound loudly, so loud he swore it drowned the music out. He suddenly felt a buzz in his pocket - it was Walt, he could sense him.

He pulled out his phone and read the text

walt: r u ok? i feel you panicking, is everything alright?

Billy took a large gulp of the jungle juice, trying to bring himself back down. He quickly typed back to Walt.

billy: i can’t read her thoughts, what does that mean walt?

Billy heard rumors swirling around back in the 1800s of humans whose thoughts were unreadable to certain vampires. Walt had always said that if he encountered a human of such, to run away, far and quick. However, he never thought he’d encounter one at this party, let alone one ironically dressed as a vampire.

His phone instantly started to ring and Billy darted to the bathroom. He placed the phone in his ear and was met with an alarmed Walt.

“Billy, wherever you are, leave, now!” he barked at him.

“W-what’s going on ... I don’t understand, why can’t I read her thoughts. Why do I feel this way?”

Billy heard Walt sigh loudly over the phone, he imagined him rubbing his temples in frustration.

“I never thought I’d see this day come ... but it was foolish of me to think otherwise. This typically happens with vampires, but ... she is a human, and that is rare, dangerous in fact” he quickly started to explain.

“What is it Walt?! Tell me!” Billy urged, his tone becoming more frantic.

“Billy, she is your Beloved. She is the one you’re destined to be with for the rest of your life ... but she is a human ... this is not good, not good at all. You need to come back to New York immediately”

“W-what does it matter if she’s human?”

“Because if she rejects you ... you’ll turn into dust Billy. She is your soulmate. If your Beloved happened to be a vampire, it’s a whole other story, but she is human, and it’s dangerous. Your heart cannot handle the intense pain of being rejected by your Beloved”

Billy stood quiet on the other line. His mind was racing a million thoughts, you were his soulmate, his other half. Walt had always told him that vampires who found their soulmates became stronger, so strong that they were able to withstand the heat of the sun. They became almost invincible because they had found their other missing half.

“Your powers won’t work on her Billy. It’s impossible - “

“No. I’m staying here” Billy cut him off.

“Are you mad?! You need to leave now!” Walt angrily exclaimed.

“Give me a week Walt. A week and I’ll have her fall in love with me” he paused, his mind going back to how the moment his eyes landed on her, how his heart felt like it could burst out of his chest, how he would drop everything in an instant to be with her, his mind, body and soul. She was the missing piece in his life, and he was determined to make sure she never left his side. “If she rejects me ... then I die, I can accept that”

“No! William! No!” Walt shouted. Billy flinched at the sound of his actual name, Walt only used it when he was either extremely pissed off at him, or in situations like these.

“This is my only chance Walt, my only chance to be with my soulmate. Please do not take this away from me”

Walt stood silent. Billy was his only ‘child’, his closest confidant and friend.

But if wanted to risk his life for a puny human, than so be it. Walt had taught him enough in his life to know right from wrong, the only thing he could do was support his choices.

“A week Billy. You have a week” he finally relented.

Billy let out a sigh of relief, closing his eyes and nodding, “Yes, a week. I promise I’ll bring her back with me to New York”

“Good luck dear friend”

Billy heard the other line go dead. He shoved his phone back into his pocket and walked back into the party, his eyes instantly scanning out for you.

But you were nowhere to be seen.

Billy crushed the cup in his hand, fuck.

He closed his eyes, trying to concentrate on where to find you. He turned to the guy dressed up as Captain America, maybe asking around would help.

“Hey, Captain America! I’m looking for my friend, she has her [Y/H/C] hair in curls, wearing a tight black dress in fishnet stockings, she’s dressed as a vampire?”

The guy in front of him pondered for a second, then it was like a light bulb went off, “Ah yeah! You mean [Y/N]!” he exclaimed.

The name was like a melodic song to his ears, Y/N.

“Yeah! Ha! Too drunk to remember her name” he jokingly pointed to his empty cup of jungle juice, but the guy didn’t seem to mind.

“Yeah I think she’s outside with the smokers, you can head on back that way” he used his head to point towards the back door where the rest of the party seemed to continue. Billy gave him a pat on his shoulder, a way to thank him for the information, and headed out the back door.

He then instantly spotted you, a cigarette dangling from your fingertips, your mouth opened as you let out a laugh. He swallowed thickly as he felt the world start to slowly freeze. Every step he took towards you felt like his feet were attached to cinder blocks. His emotions were thrown in a whirlwind and he instantly knew that you were the one for him, you were made to be his.

As he inched closer to your circle of friends, everyone stopped in their tracks. Sentences were cut short, the laughter suddenly stopped and all eyes were on him. You glanced up, [Y/E/C] met blue and you forgot how to breathe - as if all the oxygen in the world had been sucked up.

Everyone watched as he stood in front of you, ignoring everyone’s look of jealously as his eyes melted into yours. The ash on your cigarette began to burn but you didn’t care. Your whole attention was focused on this Adonis of a man in front of you - you had never seen him before but something told you that you knew him in a past life, like an old lover.

He towered over your small frame, delicately grabbing your hand and placing it into his large, pale ones.

Your skin burned into his, he was in so much pain but he didn’t care. He ached for you, he longed for you.

“Hey Y/N ... do you know his guy?” one of your friends asked, their eyes still attached to him.

You shook your head slowly as he raised your hand, placing it to his lips and planting a soft kiss.

“I - I ... I think I do?” the words stumbled out of your mouth as he smiled brightly, his fangs in full display. What a coincidence that he too was dressed as a vampire, you thought to yourself.

He was cold to the touch, but you didn’t pull away.

“Hello Y/N” he said. You swore you had never heard a voice so rich, so seductive. You felt your cheeks turn red at the mention of your name, never had a man had an effect like this on you before. Even your friends were exchanging concerned looks.

Billy glanced around to the people circling around you.

“Leave”

Without blinking, they all quickly left, leaving the two of you alone in the backyard. You didn’t even bother to realize that your friends had left you alone with a stranger, but you didn’t care.

You shuffled your feet, nervously placing a piece of your hair behind your ear. “And you are?”

With your hand still in his, he placed his other hand on top of yours, feeling the warmth course through his body. He shivered slightly, squeezing your hand, “Billy, Billy Hargrove”

You nodded at him, your eyes still locked onto his. The whole world could have been thrown into chaos, but it didn’t matter, what only mattered was the two of you, in this moment. You opened your mouth to speak but the both of you were thrown out of the love trance by the jarring noise of your phone ringing incessantly.

You quickly pulled your phone from your chest (you had no pockets so you resorted to sticking it in your bra), and your eyes widened in fear at the time.

“Shit, shit, shit, I have to go, I’m sorry” you quickly spluttered out, throwing the cigarette down on the ground and reluctantly pulling away from Billy’s touch. He watched as your demeanor instantly changed at the sound of the alarm. Something wasn’t right.

Billy’s forehead puckered, before you could even dart at the back door he grabbed your wrist, pulling you back. “Where are you going? I can take you home”

You furiously shook your head, “No, please, listen, put your number in my phone, I’ll text you, just don’t come near my house, okay?”

You shoved your phone into his hand, prompting him to enter his number. Swiftly he entered his number, handing you back your phone. With a pained smile, you gave his hand a squeeze and before he knew it you disappeared into the crowd of people.

What you didn’t know was that Billy had every intention of following you home. In his eyes you were completely and utterly his, and seeing you panic at the sound of the alarm set off warning bells in his head. Someone or something had a hold over you and he didn’t like it one bit. He rushed through the crowd, reaching the front lawn just in time to see you pull out of the neighborhood in a black car.

He had a week, time was quickly ticking away.

But Billy had a plan, and Billy never loses.

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove fanfiction

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svtegg · 5 years

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seeking shelter (SVT apocalypse!au)

♡ wordcount: 3,4k ♡ chapter 11/? (ch.1, ch.2, ch.3, ch.4, ch.5, ch.6, ch.7, ch.8 ch.9 ch.10)

♡ this won’t make any sense if you haven’t read the last part so make sure to catch up on those before reading! they’re all linked above!

♡ rating: PG-13 death/violence, language

♡ pairing: svt x reader

The car rolled slowly through the makeshift gates of the camp, I could see Chan’s familiar face outside the car. I was the first to jump out of the truck, taking a deep breath of fresh air and savoring the smell of the clean air. Mingyu and Seungcheol walked out of the dining building, probably having heard the revving motor of the car outside the gates. The screeching of the metal sounded once again as Chan and Wonwoo closed up the gate. Minghao appeared shortly after, coming jogging out of the room with the number 1 missing from the door. As the group gathered around the Jeep, the rest of the people in the car emerged. “45 liters of gas, you’re welcome.” Soonyoung stated proudly as he started unloading the containers from the back of the car. “We ran into some trouble on the way, this is Jihoon and Jun. They’re the people from the boat you heard about Minghao.” Joshua said, mostly talking in Seugcheol’s direction as he helped Soonyoung unload the car. I looked up at Mingyu who had come up beside me. “You okay?” He mouthed down at me, I just nodded and looked up at Jihoon who was standing across from me, sleep evident on his face. “I think this one needs some food…” I suggested, looking over in Seungcheol’s direction. He shared some meaningful looks with Joshua and turned to walk away. Joshua then lead Jihoon with him to the A framed dining building. I took a meaningful glance at their backs, half understanding what the shorter male was in for. I turned back to the rest of the group. “Oh, yeah. This is Jun. He has an infected cut on his upper torso. Its dressed and cleaned but he is gonna need some antibiotics, and maybe something for the pain so he can sleep properly tonight. Mingyu, Chan?” I looked at the two males, having understood that they were the people who oversaw medical business in camp. They nodded and as they chatted amongst themselves, I could feel the exhaustion taking over my body. I rolled my neck, letting it crack loudly. When I turned back to the car, I saw Soonyoung sitting on the edge of the trunk, slightly digging the tip of his shoe into the dirt. Wonwoo’s back was visible as he carried the last two cans of gas into the garage. Minghao had disappeared with Chan and Mingyu to help them with taking care of the injured boy we had brought with us. And as suddenly as that everything became quiet. I sighed and sat down beside Soonyoung on the edge of the popped trunk.

“What a day…..” Soonyoung sighed, leaning back on his hands and letting his head fall back. I hummed in agreement, feeling my nose ache as everything suddenly caught up to me. I reached up and touched my nose. My fingertips coming in contact with something wet. I looked down at my hand, the dirty fingertips covered in coagulated blood. It wasn’t a lot, and I was guessing the cut on my nose would heal itself with time. “You alright?” Soonyoung rasped beside me, his head bowed down to look at my face. I nodded and let my hand fall into my lap as I looked up at the man beside me. His hair was still slightly damp from the rain, his face dotted with specks of dirt, oil and dark brown blood. He was smiling gently, his lips thinning out slightly as his mouth stretched into a small smile. His chest rose in a long intake of breath and then he got up, the car wobbling slightly as his weight disappeared from the back. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” He spoke silently as the breath he had just taken rushed out with the words he had muttered. His hand reached out to help me up, and I took it silently half expecting him to take me to the A framed building and helping me find some first aid kit in the kitchen or something. But when he made his way up the first set of stairs, looking back over his shoulder as he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans to see if I was following him I felt confusion take over me. I put all my effort in not letting it show on my face, but as we reached the door with the rusted number 42 on it and Soonyoung opened it I couldn’t help but furrow my brows.

“Ladies first.” He giggled, his eyes turning into those crescents that could melt my heart at any time of the day. I looked up at him, a very unladylike snort leaving my mouth as I stepped inside the room he held the door open to. It smelled familiar, like cotton and laundry. A hint of pine and something green. The room had the same layout as the one I stayed in on the floor above, but looked different. There where two of the beds I had pushed up against the wall together, with real sheets and pillows. A dresser was placed in almost the same spot as in my room, but this room also had a small table and two chairs in one corner. A tall bookshelf was placed to the left of the door, littered with books and folded clothes. And a rifle leaning casually against the side of it. “You can take of your shoes if you want to!” Soonyoung said casually as he toed his dirty vans of, letting them flop against the capet as he rushed into the bathroom in the back. I sat down on one of the chairs and lifted my leg to untie my boot as I let my eyes wander around the room. There was a clear bottle on the nightstand, the same kind of lamp on top of the surface as the one in my room. In fact, even the crooked picture on the west facing wall was the same. I let out an amused breath as I pulled my second boot off, stretching my feet out in front of me. I could hear Soonyoung racket around the bathroom slightly before he appeared in he doorway with something in his hands.

He looked at me, not at my eyes but my face, probably assessing the damage. He moved over to the bed, letting the supplies scatter around the unmade bed as he turned to face me. “Sit here.” He patted the bed in front of him, and I moved without question, begging to feel the exhaustion settling in my limbs. As I plopped down in front of him, the male knelt down before me his hands unwrapping something that looked like cotton pads. “This might hurt a little” Soonyoung warned as he started patting the wound on my face with the cotton pad. It burned immediately and I hissed, my hand instinctively clasping around the male’s wrist. He chuckled slightly as he continued his ministrations. After a few seconds, he put down the cotton and my hand fell from his wrist into my lap as my eyes followed his hands. In a few seconds he had unwrapped a band aid. I looked at him as he parted my knees to come closer. His eyes concentrated onto my nose as he gently put the band aid over the split skin on my face. “There. All better.” He whispered as he let his hand glide down my nose.

“Its probably gonna bruise, but its not broken. Which is good, we wouldn’t want you pretty face to get all messed up now would we?” He laughed in a joking tone, I let out a soft laugh, my eyes falling to my hands. Soonyoung moved around the room some more and I was starting to get up to put my shoes back on and leave when he spoke. “You hungry, Y/n?” He asked gently, his back turned to me as I looked over at him. “Sure?” He turned around, his hand clasped around something that looked like a pack of dried mangoes, his face broken into a smug looking smile.

As we sat on the bed in silence and ate the sweet yellow fruit, I tried to not look at the male too much. He was sitting on the top of the bed, leaning against the wall and looking up at the roof above us. He looked to be in deep thought. I took a bite of the piece I was currently eating just as the male spoke up. “When we were looking for gas Jihoon told me that Jun had saved his life.” He said, his voice low and deprived of any sort of emotion. I looked up at him, lifting my legs up on the bed to fold them under myself. “They had been a group of five living in a boat out at sea, when one of the guys had snapped- probably going crazy from the situation and killed them all. He was going to kill Jihoon when Jun had saved him.” He continued, lowering his head to look at me. “I’m not going to pressure you into saying anything but…” Soonyoung continued, looking down at his hands that where now folded together in his lap. His dark hair flopped into his face. I was speechless for a few seconds, waiting for him to continue and after a few heartbeats he slowly continued. “I’m guessing something like that happened in your group too?” He tried, his eyes darting to my face as he turned his body towards me slightly. I sighed as I chewed on the last bit of the mango, letting some seconds pass before answering him.

He ran a hand through his hair, letting his black bangs part in the middle and frame his face like a gorgeous black picture frame around a beautiful piece of art. “Yeah, twice actually.” I whispered, lowering my head. Silence filled the room once again, but just for a second. Quiet rustling took over and then suddenly I felt a dip in the bed I was sitting on. The smell of musk, oil, dirt and sweat enveloped me as Soonyoung wrapped his arms around my shoulders and hugged me tightly. He said nothing, just let me cry quietly against his shoulder for a few minutes before he spoke again. “How old was Junghyun?” he whispered, his hand stroking lightly between my shoulder blades. “Six.” I breathed against him, my forehead leaning on his shoulder as I breathed in. He was warm, and he smelled like fresh air and pine, like dirt but not dirty. It was pleasant and it comforted me. The feeling of his hand up and down my upper back coaxed my body into a comfortable state and I could feel my eyes becoming heavy. “I taught him how to swim once.” I whispered, trying to force my eyes to stay open but finding it extremely difficult. “That sounds nice.” Soonyoung answered, his voice vibrating lowly through his body as he gently maneuvered me down onto the mattress. I hummed, not being able to keep my eyes open for a second longer. The smell of the sheets around me lulled me deeper into sleep and I finally let myself go.

It was pitch dark when I woke up from the deep sleep I had fallen into. My body was slightly cold, the night air seeming in through the cracked window creating goosebumps on the exposed skin of my arms. The room still smelt like pine and cotton, but not as strongly as before. Then a soft snore broke through the night air. I shifted slightly to look behind me. Soonyoung was laying comfortably on the bed beside me, his clothes still on and the sheet half on his body. His lips were slightly parted as he took deep but still soft breaths in his sleep. He looked so peaceful, his dark eyelashes resting against his slightly rosy cheeks. I debated on whether or not to get up and head back to my own room, but quickly decided against it when I heard the crack of thunder from outside, the rumbling making me jump slightly. “Y/n?” Soonyoung whispered, his voice raspy and lazy. I turned my head from the window to look over at him. He was half leaning back on his arms, his eyes squinted in the dark to find me. I giggled as I moved to get under the sheets, another gust of cold night air blowing into the room. “I thought that loud sound was you for a few…” The sleepy man mumbled as he laid back down, snuggling into the blanket slightly as he comfortably closed his eyes to go back to sleep. “Its just thundering.” I whispered, trying to get comfortable again. “I’m cold.” I stated, wiggling my legs slightly under the blanket to try and get some warmth from the friction.

At that Soonyoung reached out to pull me closer to him, pulling me only centimeters away from his face and then throwing his blanket over me as well. “This blanket is warmer.” He mumbled as he closed his eyes, letting his hand rest right beside mine on the mattress between us, not close enough to be holding hands, but close enough to be touching. Another crack of thunder rumbled through the sky outside, the flash of lightning illuminating the room for a split second. We were facing each other and as the seconds ticked by, I could hear his breaths get deeper as he fell back asleep. As I rested back into the mattress, I could feel Soonyoungs breaths fan over my face every few seconds. His lips where parted again, his cheek smushed against the pillow that supported his head. He looked absolutely adorable and it was hard to imagine this man was actually grown. As I let myself stare at him, me mumbled sleepily “It’s rude to stare.” I breathed out sharply in amusement as I averted my eyes from his face and muttered a meek sorry. Then his right hand circled around my shoulder and pulled me closer. “Go back to sleep, Y/n. You need to rest.” He babbled, his raspy voice almost incoherent as he slowly fell asleep. With the weight of his hand over my shoulder and the warmth from our body I quickly mirrored him and fell asleep as well, the comfort of another person keeping terrifying nightmares and horrible dreams away from my unconscious body.

a/n: thank you for reading! also thank you sooo much for waiting so long for updates...this au has been on hiatus for like 6 months and im so sorry to make you all wait but i have some good news!! for the two readers who have expressed explicit interest in this series, i have written the next 3 chapters to this story and will be updating this story a couple times next week hopefully! this is also not proofread so please excuse any typos! love ya!

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disregardcanon · 4 years

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a few thoughts about the gravity falls fandom with a little distance

1. it really was fun how many widely accepted, named aus that were used by the whole fandom were out there.

2. the northwest gothic aesthetic of the classier, darker reverse pines aus was a really creative and interesting take, and i always think that i might go back and write an actual short story with glossy stage psychics in the pacific northwest with a murder, magic, and sexy gays kissing thing based off my favorite rev mabifica interations

3. b*lldip was weird but fluffy b*lldip was significantly weirder than grimdark, gothic b*lldip

4. i miss art of people possessed by bill cipher

5. gravity falls fandom was the first time i realized that maybe shipping purity culture was BAD because while i disliked b*lldip and still tend to, i thought billford was really interesting and fun. then i had a few mabificas who decided to blacklist me over that.

like, i was out here creating some of the most consistent content for that ship and people were saying that i couldn’t interact with their content. i thought that i had the ��okay” fucked up ship, but then i realized that benchmarks are always changing and decided that even though i still don’t like the other ship i’m not going to go full anti over it either.

going anti leads to places i decided i didn’t like.

6. gravity falls fandom meant a lot to me my freshman year of college where i was lonely and nostalgic, so thanks for everything, even the grimdark i didn’t like and the weird porn.

#gravity falls

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atamascolily · 4 years

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lily liveblogs “terminator: dark fate”, part four

In which Sarah Connor suffers for the cause in the most ironic way possible.

(one, two, three)

I've already waxed poetic elsewhere about the "My entire body is a weapon"/ "Save it for the ladies" exchange, but let's just say the Rev-9's claim of "Metal hip - two tours in Afghanistan" is a) a great manipulation, and b) might even be true - certainly the part about the metal hip is! And the "thank you for your service," / letting him pass through is just... the irony... I can't even...

(and also, this MAKES SENSE when you realize that Legion was designed to process people and manipulate/control them and THAT'S why he's so good at it).

Sarah Connor gets picked up by a smarmy dude named Officer Rigby. "You belong in your own private cage," he tells her. He's probably going to die soon, and we are not supposed to be sorry about it. (And meanwhile, some random dude yells in the background, "I want to go, too!" No, you don't. Trust me.)

Grace does not believe in bureaucratic bullshit. And she won't accept "detainees" instead of "prisoners". YASS. At least there's fresh meds for her.

Oh! I just realized why she steals the guy's clothes.. it's because nothing else would fit her. It's tough being so tall.

Grace pulls the fire alarm and Sarah recognizes an opening when she sees one and manages to kick Rigby in the groin and take him and both her guards down with both hands in cuffs behind her back. LEGEND. Kyle Reese would be so proud of her, especially since he pulled the same stunt back in T1 in the police station sequence.

Grace starts opening doors and people rush to get out, oh please let this not be a slaughter.

The dude who was with them (Flacco?) slams the door into the Terminator's face and he gets punched into a wall for his trouble. I hope he survived...

The Rev-9 jumps UP into the rafters, holy shit, and is scrabbling over the metal fence like the Rev-7s in the future scene, and it's so a) predatory and b) so feral and inhuman... and that guard who sassed Dani looks terrified as hell as she faces him down.. and gets slashed for her troubles.

Slaughter ensues, but only people in official uniforms thus far... Every one of them is mobbing the Rev-9 and just getting stabbed.

Oh, good, they found a helicopter. Someone gets punched out the door after them, and you think it's the REv-9 who did it, but it's actually Sarah! YASS. Dani wants to wait for her and Grace wants to get away. Dani doesn't want to leave Sarah (hey, callbacks to earlier!) and jumps out of the helicopter with the gun as the REV-9 runs at her. Dani starts shooting the REV-9 which is very cathartic for her, but Sarah tackles her and pulls her into the helicopter. The REV-9 jumps for it, but misses, and falls the ground and just looks... annoyed despite having no expression whatsoever.

The REV-9's accent with the sheriffs is interesting. There's the same "good ol' boy" attitude as "That's a nice bike" in T2 and the same cut back to our heroes that speaks volumes.

Cut to a forest in Texas. I have no idea if this is botanically accurate or not because I have no experience with Texas flora. But there are pine trees and maple trees, I can tell you that much.

I like how Sarah and Grace are ready to draw when they knock on the door of this ordinary-looking house in the woods, and Dani just looks at them like they're crazy.

Hey, and it's the same music as in the prologue, as Sarah recognizes the Terminator! He says her name and she raises her gun to shoot him except that Grace intervenes and she hits the ceiling.

“My name is Sarah Connor, you killed my son, prepare to die...” No, okay, she doesn’t actually say that, but I’m gonna do it for her.

Sarah stalks off when they won't let her shoot the Terminator. Dani and Grace exchange a look, and Dani goes after Sarah while Grace deals with Carl (his nom de... paix, I guess). They have the ... "So you're a cyborg, too?" talk, which goes about as well as you can expect.

Poor Sarah looks so broken sitting outside alone. Dani uses her people skills to rally her. Sarah's admission that she never took photos of John is a) heartbreaking, and b) good tactics, especially given how previous Terminators used photos, and how the REV-9 uses facial recognition software.

Sarah's sarcasm as she contemplates Carl's family photos is biting and hilarious and poignant especially given what she just said to Dani (and how a photograph was what brought Kyle to her in the first place). MY HEART.

We are meant to parallel Carl's treatment of Alicia and Mateo with Sarah and John, and Sarah and Carl in "Without purpose, we are nothing". The irony that Carl understands Sarah in this way, and that Sarah has been getting her raison d’etre from a Terminator the whole time... way to lay on the pain, writers!

I've heard a lot of critique of this film claiming that Terminators just wouldn't act like Carl, and I think that's not accurate. What exactly do people think a Terminator WOULD do after they finished their mission instad? It's not like Skynet or Legion or whatever gave them any other programming, and we know from T2 they can't self-terminate. So what are they supposed to do, just stand there??

Even though Carl doesn't have his chip removed the way the T-800 in T2 did, Terminators are very accomplished at learning and mimicking humans. They are adaptable. And I think the filmmakers are right that the T-800 would try to find a new mission--paralleling the old one--to give his life purpose. I think this is a very plausible plot device, and also a great opportunity for irony and parallels, which this franchise thrives on and I personally love.

(There's great fic from Carl's POV on A03 by Tyellas that expands on this that I LOVE, so you should all go read it RIGHT NOW.)

I also LOVE the growing parallels not only between Sarah and Carl, but Carl and Grace that the film keeps emphasizing YASSS.

Sarah is NOT PLEASED to learn she's been manipulated the whole time by the robot who killed her son.Understatement of the year. I was wondering when she was going to shoot him!

"Do you believe in fate, Sarah?" OW, MY HEART.

Oh. Interesting. So when Sarah destroyed Skynet, she released Carl from his programming, thus allowing him to learn?? Okay, I'll buy it. Which means that Carl was released at the same time as the other Terminators in all three films (though we get into the simultaneity problem, but that's a headache for another time). It's plausible if I don't think too hard about it, so I'll buy it. I wish people would stop calling plot elements they don't like/agree with "plot holes". That's... not what it means.

[so who is sending the other terminators? Are they from Legion or Skynet? what is their purpose? Since Sarah is a wanted woman in America, it makes sense if she was killing Terminators in Mexico, which makes me wonder if she's been protecting Dani until now???) I have a feeling the film will not answer this question.]

There's a dog curled up at Carl's feet when they cut to the next scene. This is NOT a plot hole, as some people have claimed. This is actually a clue that Carl IS as human as he claims to be... i.e, he seems to have mastered whatever subtle cues that makes the dog recognize him as human, and not a foreign predator. Obviously, YMMV, but I don't see it as a plot hole.

The secret storage armory is de riguer for a Terminator film, but I also enjoy the deadpan social commentary about human barbarism coming from a reformed murderbot. "And also, this is Texas." He's definitely living in the right state for that.

Wow. The training lesson at the shooting range was everything I could have hoped for. I love Sarah's wry smile as the watermelons explode.

OF COURSE SARAH CONNOR "KNOWS A GUY" with an EMP, lol...

Kudos to Carl for getting his family out of the way and for preparing him for this day. But it's clear he won't be back.

... how about that leather jacket and sunglasses? because he's about to start being way less human and way more machine.

oHHHHH he leaves the sunglasses behind, I was NOT expecting that. NICE WORK.

hello rev-9 smashing the family photographs, that's not symbolic of anything at all.

Hey, did they take all the guns with them or is the REv-9 going to use them against their owner?? was leaving the photo of the van on the fridge intentional? Too early to tell! Either way, ironic given Sarah's caution with photos earlier!

Sarah's withering expression as Carl lectures about interior design is GOLDEN.

I now want a road trip movie about this dysfunctional found family. I cannot believe they are only together for less than 24 hours. Thank goodness for fic.

"I don't commit treason for just anybody," is such a great line and one of my favorites in this film.

Of course the EMP is probably going to disable/take out Carl AND Grace AND the Rev-9 because that's just how this kind of movie works, but there you go.

Sarah telling Carl to shut the fuck up is GOLDEN, they work so well together. Mommy and Daddy, indeed.

AHHH, the major bringing them the EMP on the sly gets shot. It's tough being a minor character in these films. Dani pulls him into the van but I can't help but notice in that position he's a human shield.

Okay, so leaving photos on the fridge was NOT intentional... maybe Sarah should have had an op-sec chat with Carl about that??

Oh, hey, the flesh-like bit of the REV-9 jumped out of the copter while the chassis keeps flying. That's a neat trick. And the moment where the fleshy bit jumps in and they merge is always cool.

Okay, so they're going to the air base. I guess another fight is in order. Ah, this is where the planes are coming in. Apparently, Grace is piloting. That answers my question from the trailer.

They just run the van right up the ramp and the Major is there to take awkward questions. "District contractors" indeed. I hope he'll survive this movie, but I have my doubts. Oh, he's not going with them - I don't know if that increases his chances or not. WHAT THE HELL KIND OF RELATIONSHIP DO HE AND SARAH HAVE ANYWAY??

They didn't bother to close up the back before taking off??? Wow. Okay, I guess that works...

Carl uses himself as a shield for Sarah, which just makes her mad...

The Rev-9 flips out of the burning helicopter onto the ramp, and Carl just takes him down and shoots him. It doesn't take, but it's pretty glorious. SARAH AND DANI ROLL THE VAN OVER HIM OH MY GOD.

Needless to say, I'm pretty sure the Rev-9 will be back... in an EVEN BIGGER PLANE.

Oh, so the EMP is dead...? Maybe they can improvise something.

Flasback! Dani beats the punks that are harassing Grace and talks the last guy into not shooting her because "this is what Legion wants us to do". FUCK YEAH.

"FUCK FATE" is basically the motto of this series (and a slightly more concise, if vulgar, reframing of "no fate but what we make for ourselves" or "no fate" in T2).

OH MY GOD THAT LOOK ON FUTURE!DANI'S FACE WHEN SHE RECOGNIZES GRACE...

"You are the future" - okay, this is very moving and dramatic, but I feel like Grace should have mentioned this back on the TRAIN why the fuck did she wait this long.

"You're John..." Sarah gasps... and just adopted a kid. CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, Y'ALL. Carl was right, she needs a purpose or else she’s just going to self-destruct.

YESSSSS, I love it when movies answer my questions: apparently future!Dani told Grace not to mention it earlier, because younger!Dani wouldn't be able to handle it. Ah, the ouroboros of causality... I'll buy it, but I still think the film would have been stronger if they had had this conversation earlier on the train.

plane vs. plane hijinks ensue. Grace puts the ship on autopilot so she can actually do stuff. There's a lot of flailing as the ship starts to explode. The REv-9 climbs aboard and uses his oozy bits to rip all the flesh off Carl's hand. There's a humvee with a parachute, but the way the scene is laid out, it's kinda convolunted, but okay.. ... They bust the door open so the humvee can drop out. Carl pins the chassis to the plane but the oozy bits escape and go running free towards them. The plane explodes seconds after the humvee pulls free and parachutes to the ground.... okay.

Sarah Connor's "Aw, fuck," as they land on the hydroelectric dam is GOLDEN.

#terminator #terminator: dark fate

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inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years

Note

hi steph, is there any mycroft-centric fic?? i just have mycroft feelings recently

Hi Nonny!

Ahhhh, most, if not all, of my recs are Johnlock centred :( BUT do have some where Mycroft is in the fic or plays a part in Johnlock, so I shall direct you to this list below, AND take an opportunity to update another Mycroft List I have had ready-to-go for awhile now, Pt. 2 to my “Mycroft Plays a Role” list :)

Here are the ones more focussed on Mycroft:

Mycroft Flirts With John

Matchmaker Mycroft

Big-Brother Mycroft

Big Brother Mycroft Pt 2

Whereas in this list below, Mycroft helps Sherlock as a character to move along a plot or helps Johnlock happen (hence the difference in Big Brother and Playing a Role... it makes sense in my head lol). I hope it’s okay I’m using your ask to launch this part 2! <3 I just really like having excuses to post lists I already have done LOL.

As always gang, if you have a fic that Mycroft plays a significant role to help move the plot along, please add them below! I genuinely like Mycroft in fics as the deus ex Mycroft, LOL. :D Enjoy!

MYCROFT PLAYS A ROLE Pt. 2

See also: Mycroft Plays a Role in This Fic

Black Cars by johnsarmylady (T, 1,186 w., 5 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF) – John is getting on with his life...if only he didn't see black cars everywhere! A short Post Reichenbach tale in 221B style in 5 parts.

3:00 in the Morning is a Great Time to Talk by Aztecwarfareandcrumping (K+, 1,775 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt / Comfort, Friendship, Bed Sharing, First Person POV John, Cuddling, Worried Sherlock, Comforting John, Platonic Affection/Love) – "Are you trying to talk your way into my bed?" "Obviously."

Crisis Averted by Spartangal22 (T, 2,188 w., 1 Ch. || HLV Fic, Missing Scene After Confronting Mary, Canon Compliant, Sherlock Whump / Mary Shot Sherlock, Family / Friendship, Hospitalization, Sherlock POV, Holmes Brothers) – Lying in the hospital, Sherlock receives some surprising visitors, and manages to deal with two problems he's been having lately. A missing scene from HLV about a formal introduction that was never made and a visit that was never shown.

As You Wish by PipMer (K, 3,311 w., 1 Ch. || Bromance/Pre-Slash/Epic Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, John Whump, Hospitals) – When John woke from his coma, he wasn't at all surprised to see the wrong Holmes brother sitting at his bedside. Disappointed, but not surprised.

Caffeine and Adaptive Programming by DemonicSymphony (E, 5,540 w., 1 Ch. || Androids AU / Bond Fusion || Android Sherlock, Coffee Shop AU, Pining John Hinted Bond / Q, Toplock) – Sherlock is a coffee shop android slowly falling for a regular customer. But he's not supposed to be able to feel emotions.

Hide and Seek by Arwen Jade Kenobi (T, 6,934 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Rev. Reich-ish, Mycroft is a Dick, Depression, Case Fic-ish, Friendship, Reunion) – Pseudo sequel to "The Refining Fire." "You owe him the truth, and you owe me the proof that will convince him that I had no part in this."

What Did I Do Wrong? by Starlight05 (T, 7,880 w., 5 Ch. || Hurt Comfort, Angst, John Whump, Hospitalization, Worried Sherlock, Emotional Turmoil, Nightmares, Sherlock Being Dumb) - After John almost dies on a case, Sherlock disappears. So John is left to figure out what he can do to get his best friend back. Meanwhile Sherlock, guilt-ridden and willingly alone, is doing everything he can to stay away.

There's So Much Labour Just in Breathing Lately by Susan (E, 12,708 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF / Mentions of S3 Events, Romance, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Grieving John, Mutual Pining, Meddling Mycroft, Therapy, Ambiguous Hopeful Ending, Infidelity) – The dreams he hated most – the ones that left him a sweating, shaking mess when he woke – were the ones in which Sherlock was just Sherlock. Laughing or drinking tea. Sitting across the table from him at Angelo’s eating pasta. Trailing his open hand behind him on the way to the bedroom. “C’mon, John. I’m about to have my way with you.”

Shuteye Shenanigans by Ayakae (K+, 13,263 w., 8 Ch. || Post-TRF, Friendship / Epic Bromance, John’s Nightmares, Angsty Fluff, Bed Sharing, Humour, Cuddles, Taking Care of Each Other, Domestics) – John Watson has never slept with Sherlock Holmes. Never ever ever. And never will, thank you very much. Well, there was that one time, but John didn't count that. It was completely different, just like the second time it happened. And the third. And the fourth. Epic bromance, but it can be read as pre-slash if you wish.

The Palmyra Atoll by elwinglyre (E, 16,609 w., 3 Ch. || TSo3 Divergence / Episode Fix-It, Stockholm Syndrome, Kidnapped John Watson, John Whump, Evil Mary, Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Toplock, Limited 3rd John POV) – As John's preparing for the wedding, Sherlock is preparing to have his heart broken, and Mary is prepared to do the unthinkable. Intervention required. Enter Sherlock. Set before Sign of Three with a far different outcome. John is drugged, kidnapped, and left on an island, but not just any old island.

Hope for Heroes by Richefic (K+, 16,887 w., 5 Ch. || Post-TGG Fic, Introspection / Flashbacks, Friendship/Epic Bromance, Hurt/Comfort, Worried/Anxious Sherlock, Sherlock Admires John, BAMF John, John Deduces, Fancy Party, John’s Self Esteem, Domestics) – In the final moments of "The Great Game" Holmes hopes he will have the chance to tell his flatmate that he was wrong. Heroes do exist after all and the one in front of him is called Dr John Watson.

I Think I've Come A Long Long Way To Sit Before You Here Today by ArwenKenobi (T, 18,251 w., 3 Ch. || Grief/Mourning, Passage of Time, Major Character Death, Alternating POV, Sherlock Whump, Pining Sherlock, Hospitalization, Coma, Revenge Murders, Hallucinations, Love Confessions, Brutal Accident, Mystrade, Ghost John) – One year after John is killed Sherlock starts to wonder whether John has actually gone anywhere.

The Kepler Problem by kinklock (E, 24,270 w., 1 Ch. || Sci-Fi AU, Alien Sherlock, Space Repairman John, Alien Biology, Horny John) – Working in uncharted space exploration was not as exciting as John had hoped, especially when it turned out to be mostly bot maintenance on uninhabited planets. However, the mystery of the repeated, unexplained malfunctions on planet BAK 2212 might turn out to be exactly the kind of adventure he'd been craving.

The Winter Garden by Callie4180 (T, 31,213 w., 13 Ch. || Post-S4, Retirement, Christmas, Slow Burn, Grown-Up Rosie, Parenthood, Rosie’s Cat, Angst with Happy Ending, Holidays, Beekeeping, Magical Realism, Sherlock POV, Sherlock’s Violin, Future Fic, Sussex, Honey, Magical Healing Honey, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Scar, First Kiss, Touching, Mycroft is Dying) – As Sherlock nears the end of his career, he's given the gift of a cottage in Sussex. The honey from the beehives out back is amazing. Almost...magical.

The Whore of Babylon Was a Perfectly Nice Girl by out_there (E, 32,897 w., 1 Ch. || Past Drug Use, Blowjobs, Toplock, Mentions of Switching, Rough Sex, Background Cases, Sherlock’s Past, Sherlock’s Sexual History, Experienced Sherlock, Past One Night Stands, Fingering, Cuddling, Possessive Sherlock, Paris Holiday, Bed Sharing, Naked Lie-Ins, Bathing Together, Confessions, Worried Sherlock, Laying in Bed All Day, Meddling Mycroft, Naked Lazy Day) – Sherlock walks into a room and takes all the space right out of it. He does the same inside John's head.

carrying up his morning tea by darcylindbergh (E, 34,504 w., 5 Ch. || Post S3, Minor Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Wakes/Funerals, Estranged John, Pining Sherlock, Depression/Insecurity, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Chronic Pain/Injury, Reconciliation, Awkwardness, Loneliness, Scars, Angst With Happy Ending) – His fingers tremble as he dials and he can’t force them steady. Familiar number, even though he hasn’t used it in two years. He isn’t even sure he should be calling it now, but she’d asked. She’d made him promise.

we have never seen a greater day than this by Lediona (T, 36,420 w., 7 Ch. || A Royal Night Out AU || WWII / VE Day, Prince Sherlock, Soldier John, Alternating POV, First Kiss, Bittersweet Ending, Homophobia, Dancing) – Peace. At long last. It’s VE Day and Prince William desires to join the celebrations. It is a night of excitement, danger and the first flutters of romance.

A Week is Just Seven Days Isn't It? by scifigrl47 (T, 39,906 w., 4 Ch. || Humour, Friendship/Bromance, Stroppy/Bored Sherlock, Undercover/Army John, Texting, Pining-ish Sherlock, John Whump) – When John heads overseas for a week, Sherlock's forced to fend for himself. It goes about as well as anyone could have anticipated. Which is to say, very, very poorly. Don't worry, things'll be fine in just seven days.

(Never) Turn Your Back to the Sea by DiscordantWords (M, 39,968 w., 7 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It || Grief / Mourning, Victor Trevor, Friendship, Sherlock is Not Okay, Nightmares/Flashbacks/Panic Attacks, Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, John Comes Home) – Baker Street is very much the same. Only different. And Sherlock is just trying not to drown.

Guidelines by WithLoweredVoices (M, 43,018 w., 15 Ch. || Winglock || Angels, Fantasy, Angst, BAMF! John, War, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Jealous John, Falling in Various Ways, Needy Sherlock, Wings) – The Good Soldier, one of the oldest and strongest of the fallen, is offered a bargain: to live as John Watson and to Guide a fledgling archangel so that he will stay on the path of good. Of course, Sherlock Holmes has different ideas about his destiny. Fantasy AU. Warnings for violence, occasional gore, and a whole load of hurt and angst.

The Real Great Perfumers by shelleysprometheus (E, 45,355 w., 68 Ch. || Case Fic, Alternating POV, Gay Sherlock / Bi John, Canon Compliant with Divergence at TRF, Friends to Lovers, Oral / Anal, Pining, First Kiss / Time, Dev. Rel., Drugging, Body Worship, Bathing, Love Confessions, Travelling, Bottomlock, Cranky Sherlock, BJ’s, Alternating POV, Jealous John) – The case, this case. This extraordinary, fascinating, scintillating case. A house. Designed entirely by its eccentric owner, built by no less than five hundred expert tradesmen in the heart of Marrakesh. A house that had, seemingly not only driven its owner out, but also to his quite unpleasant death. And a perfumer, a chemist no less, the very thought of the secrets that house could reveal, would reveal was irresistible. Sherlock had to have this case ... and it seems, he also had to have John! Part 1 of the Forethought and Fire series

Anchor Point by trickybonmot (E, 49,856 w., 80 Ch. || Truman Show AU || Psychological Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Dark Characters / Fic, Alternating First/Third Person, Protective John, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Tender Moments, Love Confessions, Hand/Blow Jobs, Cuddling, Jealous John, First Kiss/Time) – The world tunes in nightly for Sherlock, the ultimate in reality TV: Sherlock Holmes, a real person with a legendary name, unknowingly lives out his life in a staged setting contrived by his brother. Things get complicated when a retired army doctor joins the show to play the part of Sherlock's closest friend. This fic borrows its concept from the 1998 film, the Truman Show. However, you don't need to have any knowledge of the movie to enjoy this story.

Repairing the Broken Things by BakerTumblings (M, 75,252 w., 15 Ch. || S4 Compliant, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma, Hospitals, Big Brother Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Realizations, Severe Accident, John Whump, Pneumonia, Medical Procedures, Bed Sharing, First Time, Healing, Happy Ending) – "I'm calling today to notify you that there's been an accident."

Points by lifeonmars (E, 53,791 w., 42 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || HLV Rewrite / Canon Divergence, Married Life, Pregnancy / Baby Watson, Drinking to Cope, Boxing / Fisticuffs, Clueless John, Angst, Minor Medical Drama, Tattoos, Christmas, First Kiss/Time, Eventual Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Doctor John, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Case Fic, Drugging, Blow/Hand Job, Emotional Love Making, Parenthood, Passage of Time) – What if His Last Vow never happened? This fic picks up a few months after John and Mary's wedding, in an alternate universe where Magnussen doesn't exist, but Mary is still pregnant. Life continues -- just in a different direction. And slowly, Sherlock and John find their way to each other.

Never Change a Running System by Lorelei_Lee (E, 54,246 w., 18 Ch. || Pre-TRF, Romance, Humour, Drama, Sex Toys, Anal, Rimming, Masturbation, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Public Sex, First Kiss / Time, Virgin Sherlock / Loss of Virginity, Accidental Voyeurism, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Experiments, Naive Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Straight With an Exception John, Hand Jobs) – Sherlock discovers his sexuality – with far-reaching consequences for John.

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w., 16 Ch. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because...new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride... prepare for blast off. Part 1 of the SpaceBois go to Space series

The Thing Is by TSylvestris (E, 56,743 w., 21 Ch. || Case Fic, Dev. Rel., Anal/Oral, Blow Jobs, Meddling Mycroft, Drama, Romance, Humour, Casual Encounters, Pining Idiots, Possessive Sherlock, Orgasm Delay, Rough / Alley Sex, Public Sex, John Whump, Drugged John, Emotional Love Making, Awkward Relationship, Marriage of Convenience, Switchlock, BAMF John) – The problem with living with Sherlock, John thought, was that you never, never, ever knew the significance of anything. Like your flatmate's nose buried in your hair. Whilst you're in bed. Part 1 of Nitroglycerine

Lunar Landscapes by J_Baillier (M, 57,046 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || S3/TAB Fix-It, Slow Burn Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Confessions, Drugs, Pain, Medical, Injury, Sherlock Whump, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Romance, Secrets, Tragedy, Trauma, BAMF John, Doctor!John, Drug Addict Sherlock, Injured Sherlock, Grieving John, Idiots In Love, Protective John, POV John Watson, PTSD Sherlock, Sherlock is a Mess, Medical Realism) – An accident forces John to face the fact that Sherlock's downward spiral had started long before his flight to exile even left the tarmac.

The Bells of King's College by SilentAuror (E, 64,019 w., 5 Ch. || Post-S4, Missed Opportunities, Angst, Fake Relationship, Case Fic, John POV, Jealous John, John in Denial, Travelling / Holidays) – It's only been two weeks since Eurus Holmes disrupted their lives when Mycroft sends John and Sherlock to Cambridge to pose as an engaged couple at a wedding show in the hopes of solving six unsolved deaths...

Hell Sent, Heaven Bound by ConsultingHound (M, 64,381 w, 16 Ch. || Angels / Demons AU || Fallen Angel Sherlock / Angel Cop John, Alternate First Meeting, Slow Burn, Case Fic, John & Lestrade are Friends Before Sherlock, BAMF John, Mind Palace John, Friends to Lovers, John in Denial, Sherlock Picks Out John’s Clothing, Clubbing / Dancing, Mildly Jealous John, Awkwardness, Kidnapping, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Sacrifice, Worried / Anxious Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Immortal to Mortal) – Ex-War healer and current angelic guard John Watson is not having the best day. He overslept, he’s underpaid, and now there’s someone tagging the Council’s building walls. However things may be about to get interesting: there’s an unusual stranger hanging around (the definition of tall, dark, and handsome), a literal underground cult is brewing, and rumblings are coming from hell. Can he keep his neighbourhood safe, how and why is he being connected to all this, and who the hell is Sherlock Holmes?

Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he's consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.

The Vapor Variant by 88thParallel (CanadaHolm) (M, 72,684 w., 18 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-THoB, John Whump, Protective Sherlock, Guilty Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD John, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Suspense, Virus, Sick Fic, Big Brother Mycroft) – They stood face to face in the middle of a clearing. The dim light of the moon barely allowed Sherlock to see the glassy terror in John’s eyes and the sweat that glistened off his forehead. His nose was bleeding again, blood dripping in a slow stream from his right nostril. They were both gasping for air, John’s eyes locked on Sherlock’s. There was no recognition there, just wild animal fear. Time stood still for an eternal few seconds, and Sherlock took a shaky breath. “John—”Spell broken, John spun and bolted back into the woods. Still heaving for air, Sherlock took off after him.

The Monument of Memory by J_Baillier (M, 79,663 w., 14 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It Fic / S4 is Canon, Angst, Family Drama, Guilt, Case Fic, John Loves Sherlock, Complicated Feelings, Mentalism / Hypnosis, Murder, Grieving John, Sherlock is a Bit Not Good, Team Work, Trust Issues, BAMF John, Psychological Trauma, Protective John, Autistic-Spectrum Sherlock, Parentlock, John POV) – A genius traumatised by a past he's only beginning to recall. The psychopath sister that time forgot. A missing woman and a mentalist who may or may not be a murderer. And, in the middle of it all, stands John Watson.

The Summer Boy by khorazir (T, 94,706 w., 6 Ch. || Post S3/Post TAB/Alternate S4, Friends to Lovers, Asexual Sherlock, POV Sherlock, Flashbacks, Bullying, 1980′s Kid Sherlock, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inexperienced Sherlock, Grief/Mourning, Pining Sherlock, Case Fic, Sherlock’s Past, Awkward Conversations, Anxious Sherlock, Mycroft Involved with Baby’s Separation from John) – About half a year after the fateful events at Appledore, Sherlock and John embark on a private case in Sussex. For Sherlock, it’s a journey into his past, bringing up memories both happy and sad that he has locked away for almost thirty years. For John, it means coming to terms with the present – and a potential future with Sherlock. Part 1 of the The Summer Boy series

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU || BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

Given In Evidence by verityburns (M, 97,884 w., 19 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Angst, Drama, Case Fic, Romance, BAMF!John, Submissive Sherlock, First Kiss, Humour) – Coming back from the dead can be a complicated business. With a new case on the horizon, rebuilding a life is one thing... rebuilding a friendship quite another. For Sherlock and John, things may never be just the same...

The Cost of a Wish by slashscribe (E, 102,493 w., 12 Ch. || xxxHolic Fusion || Spirits / Ghosts and Magic, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Soul Mates / Fated Lovers, Adventure, Immortal Sherlock, Powerful John, POV John, Frottage, Wish Granting, Angst with Happy Ending, Nightmares) – John has been plagued by a secret his entire life that has made him feel hopeless until he meets a mysterious, seemingly omniscient man named Sherlock Holmes who owns a wish-granting shop. Their meeting sets off a series of inevitable events that will change the course of both of their lives forever.

Two Two One Bravo Baker by abundantlyqueer (E, 114,574 w., 27 Ch. || Military AU || Afghanistan, War Story, Thriller, Switchlock, Rimming, Emotional Lovemaking, Lots of Sex, HJ/BJ’s) – Captain John Watson of 40 Commando, the Royal Marines, is assigned to protect and assist Sherlock Holmes as he investigates what appears to be a simple war atrocity in Afghanistan. An intense attraction ignites between the two men as they uncover a conspiracy that threatens everything they’ve ever known, but Sherlock is as much hunted as hunter, and everyone close to him is in deadly danger. Can he solve the case in time to save himself and John? Part 1 of Two Two One Bravo Baker Universe

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (M, 137,049 w., 37 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Baseball AU || Slow Burn / Dev. Rel., Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Body Appreciation, Depression, Closeted Sexuality, Family, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Ogling Each Other, Anxious Sherlock, Panic Attack, Drunkenness, Talk of Forever, Big Feelings™) – Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it's a baseball AU. Part 1 of Baseball

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #mycroft plays a role #mycroft fics #my fic recs #Anonymous

64 notes · View notes

secondpersons · 4 years

Text

You don’t owe your readers to tag who the top or the bottom is in your fics. You owe your readers nothing. Don’t like? Don’t read.

Readers who refuse to read a fic if they don’t know who’s the top or the bottom miss out on a lot of gorgeous writing, moving stories, and incredibly hot intimate scenes. Sad but true.

Real-life gay and bisexual couples don’t always have a set top and a set bottom. Many switch. Many don’t have penetrative sex at all.

So yes -- as a writer, you have every right to withhold that information.

Acting superior about it, however? No. You don’t have the right.

When I come across a fic whose writer states they don’t tag that info, I don’t bother the writer. I move on.

Why am I letting myself miss out on so much potential wonderful storytelling for something as silly as who shoves their dick in who?

I’ll tell you, and I won’t even ask you who you think you are to decide what is and isn’t silly. I won’t even tell you your anger and essays and gatekeeping efforts are all not only silly, but scientifically wrong. The gay community is online. Go ask.

But anyway. Back to all your accusations.

So having a designated top and bottom role isn’t realistic because many RL couples switch?

Like I said, I won’t go into the fact that there are, in fact, many men who get zero pleasure from bottoming, and other men who get zero pleasure from topping, so much so that it can actually kill their boner.

You can ask your gay friends about that or visit the millions of reddit threads where gay and bi tops ask bottoms how on earth they enjoy it and vice versa. You can read all about how astonished switchers and tops are at bottoms who won’t top, because there’s nothing hotter or sexier than a hole.

You can read about bottoms who can’t for the life of them understand how anyone would want them to give up having a beautiful hard cock inside them and how the mere attempt means they lose their erection.

You can read the very enlightening words of a bi or gay (I don’t remember) man trying to explain it by saying that for bottoms, simply seeing their partner’s hard cock is enough to make them melt and want it in them, whereas for tops it’s not their partner’s boner that revs their engines but their hole and the idea of thrusting and becoming one.

Google it if you want. Find what men have to say about it. I’m certainly no authority on this -- I’m not a man.

What I’m going to say is this: You’re writing about demons and vampires and ABO and telepathy and you think I’m concerned about realism?

Even more astonishing, you, the writer spinning so much wonderful fantasy and science fiction, want to judge me for eschewing realism?

I’m missing out on some incredible writing because I’m only concerned about who shoves their dick in who? Are you serious?

You know what other beautiful writing you and I and a gazillion other people are missing out on? Science fiction, when you’re in the mood for a love story. Epic fantasy, when you’re in the mood for a good old crime thriller. A tenderly woven tale of love and loss and healing, when you’re in the mood for a slapstick comedy because you want to laugh from your belly.

Fanfic is not required reading. It’s not staying vigilantly on top of every story with a promising summary because you mustn’t miss out on potential life-changing writing. I’m not a publisher or a reporter or an SEO site.

Fanfic is not literary education. Fanfic doesn’t belong anywhere near sentiments of obligation, responsibility, and not missing out on an excellent opportunity.

I don’t know if you’ve forgotten, but fanfic is what you do when your class is over and your work is done and you let out a big old sigh, kick off your confining shoes, put your feet up, and dream. Escape. Recharge. Heal the way that works for you.

It’s unhealthy to slap a label on a character? We write, read, and love Wincest and you’re lecturing me about my unhealthy approach to fiction?

It’s fetishizing and demeaning to insist that one character is what equates to the woman because the other fucks his hole, and that it must be equal?

I won’t even broach the subject of why you think being the woman is demeaning to the character and what that says about the misogynistic programming you seem not to mind, if you’d rather attack me and readers like me for the way we prefer to consume our fantasy.

I won’t broach all that, because there have been many incredibly well-written posts about why exactly women like reading about man-on-man love, and I don’t just mean the smut. I mean the loyalty and fidelity and possessiveness and every emotion in the book.

I’ll just ask you this: I’m happily gobbling up incestuous fanfic about two brothers from writers who happily write it, and you think I care about fetishizing? I’m reading about gun play and pain play and piss play and you think I care about demeaning?

What happened to fanfic writers and readers? We defend fanfic every single day when its worth is attacked, but among ourselves fanfic suddenly turns into something that must be realistic and healthy and not -- according to you -- fetishizing or demeaning?

Do you know how many women there are out there who have never had an orgasm because of rape or childhood trauma that means they can’t bear to be touched but would still love to, even if it’s impossible?

Because of vaginismus, which wrecked their marriages and relationships and put them in a place where they can’t even masturbate, don’t even know what it is, don’t even know how to be any help for their own daughters in the future, if they come to them with questions about sex?

Because of a million other reasons?

Do you know how much it means to those women to read about the character they identify with or relate to or fantasize about as a bottom, simply because it’s the closest they can come to pressing their noses against the glass and looking in?

This mysterious thing they don’t understand that is shoehorned into all metaphors and analogies: Better than sex, sex on legs, your magical first time, and so on and so forth, endlessly, a fucking barrage of sex sex sex being the best thing in the world, and they know firsthand that they melt from kisses but they’re useless because they can’t be touched?

When the character we like to think of as a bottom is sweetly pursued (like we were), is bone-meltingly kissed (like we were), then gets fucked (like we never could get, because it’s physically impossible, enough that our partners left because we didn’t have a fucking working hole), it’s the closest thing to experiencing it ourselves.

I don’t get it. Gatekeeping efforts are against us. We’re called every horrible name in the book by the ignorant and the naive and the malicious who are masquerading as social justice fighters. Why are some of us turning against the rest and trying to be gatekeepers as well?

You don’t tell a fishing hobbyist that they’re missing out on so much beauty because they refuse to take up stargazing. Stargazing is unbelievably beautiful and enlightening. It’s just not what they want to spend their free time on.

I’ve often wondered why this gatekeeping never applies to things like, say, Established Relationship vs First Time fics.

I follow a bunch of writers religiously -- I’m subscribed to their ao3 accounts, I reread their gorgeous fics more times than I could count.

I follow them into fandoms I know nothing about and read fics about characters from books I’ve never read and movies and TV shows I’ve never read. Because I’m so insane about their writing I can’t afford to miss a word they write.

Except Established Relationship fics. Even though I love those writers so much, I only want First Time fics. It’s one of the most important things I want in a fic. That pining, that moment of realization, that struggle with the forbidden love.

Does that mean I’m missing out on awesome content? You bet. Not only am I missing out on awesome content, I’m fully aware that I’m missing out on awesome content.

But you see -- because this isn’t a required course, I’m fine with that. I turn to fics for joy, love, that rush of feelings that comes with exquisite writing about my beloved OTP the way that works for me.

I don’t bash anyone who wants to write different stuff. I don’t bash anyone who wants to read different stuff. And the weird thing is I see no one bashing anyone about this particular tag.

Other tags people are left to read or avoid without any gatekeeping or guilting efforts to “educate” those who avoid them on the important of broadening their horizons and reading them? Hurt/Comfort. Crack. Fluff. These are just a few examples.

So why is who tops and who bottoms such a big deal? Why does that and that alone require strong-worded posts bashing those who want the tags, or condescending posts ridiculing them?

Sure, if a reader is being rude, by all means put them in their place. If they’re being an entitled little shit, they have it coming.

But for the whole issue to merit post after post criticizing the mere existence of readers who like to read a particular top/bottom pairing, or mean replies to people who politely ask about the info?

Sigh. For what it’s worth: I’m including myself with those who ask politely out of solidarity. But I have never asked a writer about that. I simply steer clear of their writing. The gazillion superior essays about how readers must be open-minded and whatnot finally got to me, which is why I wrote this.

So sure -- don’t tag. Refuse to tag. Insist outright that you don’t tag top and bottom. You owe us nothing, and you have every right to do what you want with the beautiful writing you gift the world.

Just don’t act superior or attack those of us who ask politely about the tags once, or those of us who use those tags in our own works.

#wincest

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didsomeonesayventus · 4 years

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ESSAY TIME I love a ship please come hang out w/ me on this dinghy or like. dont because fates is awful and I can’t blame u for dodging that bullet but i just wanna scream because i love them and they’re the fixation rn so 321 GO

i cant blame anyone for not really seeing this because their support is. Ok. Its alright. Not amazing, it’s serviceable, better options are out there in fates I'll concede. Corrin has like. At least 3 other love interests who feel more canon LMAO but this isn’t about them

It's more from elsewhere in their characterization that really made me adore them and, as I mentioned in tags, a lot of this comes from how I write them which. Is largely filed under rp stuff right now but more ramble time on how i write them i guess dont forget to mark your free bingo space for throwing out large swaths of fates canon and writing. Also we're scooting their canon support gently to the side because it’s ok it’s not the most offensive writing this nightmare scrap heap of canon has to offer but a massive missed opportunity.

PART 1- One (1) Corn, With a Side of Emotional Neglect

*makes vague gesture at Disney's Rapunzel* Corrin would have been so much better recieved if the devs just took some notes from you instead of writing such a flat character i swear.

Corrin in particular with how I write her is getting a pretty massive rework in the emotionally stable department because honestly I don’t believe she would be. like. She's not dumb, but she is naive, important distinction, and it ends up coloring her views a lot and I have a ramble on that over here on the inverse graph that is Corrin’s confidence but to dissect where her attitudes came from:

Her family was limited to visits, and she has been directly/implicitly blamed for this for roughly a decade and a half, at least a decade, by not being an insane king's definition of strong enough to be with them. Bad memory makes her frail, swordsmanship isn’t up to par, doesn’t seem to offer much else in terms of skills unlike Xander, a Certified Badass(tm), Magic-oriented Leo and Elise, and Magically gifted but just plain ruthless Camilla. She’s held at arm’s length from her family, and while her siblings may have always loved her and expressed that love as often as they could, they’re not always there or a good yardstick to measure her progress with, and she had to always watch them go and likely wonder when they would come back, or if they even would.

As for our beloved butler and maids, being surrounded by servants was probably her most constant and consistent source of contact, and she does love them, but it can be very easy to wonder if they love her because they do or because it's their job to.

Corrin's faith in everyone around her and unwavering trust is there because any sort of doubt is basically redirected to. her. Because she is the dumbass who's still figuring the world out. She's hyper aware she's still learning and making naive decisions and she overcompensates that with "well what do I know" and not feeling really all that worthy to be Special Protagonist. She doubts herself before almost everything else.

Brief mention of Dragon arc because fates was dumb and neglected an entire arc for dragon feelings beyond chapter 5 and foreshadowing for Dad(tm) but I also write in an arc of the Dragon Is A Metaphor For Loving Yourself Faults And Trauma And All Love Yourself And You Can Control Yourself Dammit.

*Corrin hurt herself in her confusion!*

The way I write Corrin is not nearly as put together and confident as Canon™️ Corrin is, at least for a good chunk of the plot. She fakes it till she makes it because she is a leader and being mopey will not get things done but she’s also very self critical and mopey on the inside and quite paranoid that people don’t actually like being around her and just. ball of stress and anxious hidden under Many a uwu that she doesn’t want to talk about because why should she complain her childhood wasn’t That Bad and if she’s mopey how can she set a good example and people don’t like debbie downers and look its fine its fine lmao

PART 2- Mr. Perfect

As for Mr. Subaki he puts a lot of time and effort into looking perfect. I emphasize that because he may very well have natural talent, but honestly it feels like a large amount of his perfection is just. Stressing himself out by planning for and rehearsing everything possible! God this anxious idiot I love him!!! He's sociable and agreeable, but I think with basically everyone it’s. Skin deep. He’s charismatic Enough, and he digs a bit into the other’s history and personality if he’s interested, but he never really lets the other reciprocate like a magician never revealing his fraudulent secrets.

Biggest problem with that is he can't open up and vent because that is to admit a flaw and no no cant have that we cannot have that so he's just. Not sure who to turn to and has trouble being emotionally honest- even to himself. He just! Doesnt let himself have fun or relax; all perfect all the time baby. There’s basically no one who he could consider a close and trusted friend who can love him flaws and all. The closest would be Sakura and Hana and welp. gotta keep things professional and it’s not like Hana really expresses a sense of understanding and patience when they’re fiercely competitive with each other.

There’s probably a lot of muttering to his pegasus while he’s cleaning her hooves or braiding her mane, or staying up late thinking about how narrowly disaster was and wasn’t avoided that day but he. Also doesn’t really vent and also feels that imposter syndrome of “I’m honestly awful how did I even make it here.”

and it stinks because I think at his core he is a very sweet and caring guy and a massive dork, but he just plops himself on the edge of a pedestal and gives himself no room to be himself or anything less than perfect and is likely on the cusp of impending burnout.

you dumb anxious idiot i have S-Ranked you every fucking time I open this godforsaken game I didn’t even fucking plan for this

PART 3- (Patrick Warburton impression) “Oh yeah, it’s all coming together.”

So our characters and stage are set. We got FE Fates (I’ll default to Rev), we got my views when writing these two, so what next? What is the general plot I imagine since we’ve gently scooted aside the canon support chain?

The dumbasses-to-be think they’re out of each other’s league.

For Subaki, it is plot-irrelevant background character falling in love with the protagonist, which yields the exact sort of pining you’d imagine: man you are super cool and hit all my standards but I’d be dreaming if you felt the same about me. She’s sweet, she takes charge, she can fight for herself well enough, has he mentioned she’s sweet? He can actually relax a bit around her which is really odd but I guess that’s what happens when your personal skill is literally called “Supportive”. Oh yeah and also his Lady’s older sister which oof. Sakura? In law???? Hinoka in law???? Takumi in law?????????? ryoma in law oh gods.

For Corrin, it’s Mr. Prince Charming right there and he’s very nice and Sakura is saying so many nice things about him but wow she’s. a princess from a country that has consistently terrorized his and on top of that might a well have been raised under a rock!!! And she picks up details and nuances in people remarkably well, but she overthinks them. She can pick up that Subaki- while very polite and friendly -isn’t being entirely forthcoming about what he’s thinking or feeling, but she can’t pin down exactly what it is, and makes the educated guess that he's just being nice because she’s Sakura’s sister or something.

And they’re friendly. They help each other out a bit. There’s tension, sure, but no one really comments on it (except for everyone making bets in the bg). They don’t really yield on their internal messes because Corrin knows she’s a leader and can’t really do that and distracts herself with believing in everyone around her, Subaki just flat out would rather do literally anything besides admit he’s messed up anywhere or open up. So feeling are put on a low simmer for awhile.

Of course they fall in love, and it almost gets messed up because when Subaki requests to talk with her in private to confess, she immediately assumes he’s going to tell her that he’s not interested. Her simmer roars into a boil because she’s been under Protagonist Stress ON TOP OF having a crush she’s confident won’t be reciprocated, so she snaps quite a bit because that has all been shoved in a bottle and she just wants to get the mess over with if he’s just going to tell her very nicely that her company is lovely but hes not interested it hurts a lot to think that but its fine you don’t have to settle.

But the thing is being emotionally vulnerable like that, pointing out she’s scared too of always not being enough and living up to expectations, to finally get that off her chest, spurs him into it, too. Because she gets it. She honest to god gets it even if she bought into the lie he’s perfect she understands. Oh, yeah, she also reciprocates feelings that’s really excellent too. Like Subaki probably makes a lot of fuss about a bunch of ultimately meaningless details and having “standards” and yadda yadda gods help whatever poor soul asks him to pull out the list of traits of his ideal partner, but I think at the end of the day if he’s looking for love most of all, like a lot of people he just wants someone who he can just. be himself around. Who likes it when he’s being himself!

And they both learn that yeah maybe they’re more flawed than they’ve been lead to believe, but it starts to not matter at all because they still try really hard and everyone makes mistakes. They’re both here to say it’s ok your best is enough, YOU are enough. They both think they’re amazing regardless of their mistakes and love to see each other smiling and succeeding and just make. a nice little bubble of comfort. They’re stubborn and supportive, they learn how to poke and prod the bad moods away be it making a nice cup of matcha and talking it out or laughing at a tiny, meaningless mistake and repeating it to keep that feeling of dread away. Also they both spoil their partners regardless of who they end up with you can’t @ me on that they both do it which means guess what mega spoil time. And long hair on both just means they can braid each other’s hair no problem... waaaaaa.... Also early rise Subaki and late rise Corrin so there’s always a sleepy fight in the morning because UGH this is early you keep saying i’ll get used to it but im not i need a kiss first if you want me to be up this early. Subaki is better at logic and planning than Corrin, and Corrin keeps things optimistic and has a good gut for when to take an improvised risk. They’re always swapping places on who’s holding the other back from a fight that isn’t worth it because some asshole insulted the other, they mediate each other and will fight anyone who even harms a hair on the other’s head. They give and they give back and they work together perfectly.

And when it comes to the kids that bubble expands and they make sure they all have the tools to just take a deep breath and remember it’s okay Mama and Papa love you so much and you’re going to be amazing no matter what you do. Corrin’s got the best stories to tell and Subaki tucks the blankets in just right. They’re good parents with a lot of patience and plenty of mental health wisdom which is good because, as my mom would say, “bad brain chemistry is my bad”.

Like UGH I love them. I love them a lot. A good chunk of this is me making canon better thank me fates devs

Part 4- Katie All of This is Out of Your Noggin What About Canon

(DBZ abridged vc) WHAT ABOUT CANON but ok here have some canon quotes

“The two spent the rest of their lives together. Corrin ruling as the wise Queen of Valla. Subaki adapted quickly to royal leadership and became a great source of support for his wife. “ - Revelation route ending

“I feel like the pressure's off when I'm with you. I don't have to be perfect.” “You'll never be lonely as long as I'm around. Just call me and I'll come running.” - Friendship bonding quotes but also consider waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

“This might sound corny, but I think you're my soulmate.” - What he says when he is married to you and yes that is corny and its perfect

hot spring is dumb fanservice BUT if you can get the good RNG to get them both in there “A shared bath warms not just my bones, but my heart as well.” “I-I suppose so...I just wonder if it's right to be so happy...” (emphasis mine) IT ABSOLUTELY IS BE HAPPY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

also one of his quotes when u stop by your quarters is "Ah, welcome home, dear. Kick off those shoes and relax. You're with me now!" and you absolute himbo your wife doesn’t fucking wear shoes!!!!!!!!!

Part 5- I’m done I’ve yelled into the void good night enjoy a ship please be excited for the fic I have on the backburner that I will get out there one of these days but I want it to be perfect so RIP me I guess

#katie rambles #long post #in case read more fucks up on mobile

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cheswirls · 5 years

Text

tether notes 3/3

attached links

reference maps

pt 4 drawings

pkmn team graphics for 5 char

big bang art one / two

timeline

[this is very loose and only goes chronologically, so some points may happen years apart from each other]

caesar, under the family, begins research on creating an artificial arceus

the river from law’s village becomes polluted, and lami gets sick

everyone in law’s village dies. he travels to alola

corazon, the ula’ula kahuna, gets wind of caesar’s experiments

law joins the family in alola

law meets corazon, and shortly after embarks on an island challenge

after getting a special material on poni island, law meets with corazon, who tells him he was planning to turn the family over to the international police

corazon dies, and law escapes the family with one type:null

law ends up in the kalos region

luffy meets shanks, and learns about aura

luffy leaves for the sinnoh region to train with shanks for the first time

ace and sabo set off on a journey through the kanto region

luffy is given his second pokemon, a buizel, by shanks, to help cope with the loss of his brothers

sabo and ace return to travel kanto once more

sabo’s accident occurs; he’s hospitalized, but convinces ace to continue traveling

ace dies in an accident; sabo takes striker, his charizard, and leaves the sevii islands

luffy starts his journey looking for sabo

a band of pokemon poachers begins to grow more prominent in sinnoh; it’s led by caesar, who escaped capture at alola all those years ago

dragon’s group arrives in the sinnoh region

marguerite, a close confident with the sinnoh champion, goes missing

shanks sends luffy a letter; law boards a boat for sinnoh from kalos

the sinnoh champion, boa hancock, contacts shanks about marguerite

dragon arrives at snowpoint and meets with kokoro

aisa goes missing

tama goes missing and, catching word of this, shanks heads to tsuru from his meeting point with luffy

anana goes missing

luffy arrives in the sinnoh region

chimney goes missing, and shanks sets off to go look for all the missing girls

luffy migrates to jubilife, thinking it was veilstone; law arrives in the sinnoh region

shanks is captured and loses contact with boa hancock

dragon separates from his group, going off on his own

law and luffy meet in jubilife

the battle zone’s real-life location is a formerly-japanese-but-now-russian island called sakhalin. the lower half, specifically. the other island on the map where the pokemon league sits is based off a chain of japanese-owned islands that i can’t remember the name of and am too busy to look up right now. sakhalin is pretty barren, pretty remote, and pretty unpopulated. it’s also colder than hokkaido, being further north, but bc the pokemon-equivalent has an active volcano, the climate balances out.

i spent more time researching sakhalin on google earth than i did actually writing the entire travel part of part 4. like, an absurd amount of time. more than i needed to. but the result is a good portrayal, and an accurate, effortless one. here’s some geography stuff.

1. the squatty plants on sinnoh’s route 225 are probably stone pines. i say probably, bc i still came away unsure, but this was my best conclusion. i cross-referenced sakhalin flora with what i was seeing on google earth, paired with what was most common since these trees are everywhere in the battle zone. specifically they’re japanese stone pines, so more of a squatty bush than an actual tree. (also called dwarf siberian pines, or the genus name of the dwarf version, pinus pumila) in pokemon verse, i chose aguav berries as the pine’s fruit since the seeds grow in pink bundles, like an aguav plant in-game. also, an unripe pinecone is greet, so there’s that too.

2. southern sakhalin, that i can remember, doesn’t actually have black-sand beaches. there’s one in platinum off the base of stark mountain, but since that’s aniva bay area of sakhalin, it doesn’t match up great. the only thing similar is in northeastern sakhalin, off the sea of okhotsk, where dark mud will collect on the coast and turn the beach dark. i wrote it off as a game mechanic, saying ‘it’s from the ash from the volcano’, or something like that, and then referenced beaches in iceland that are actual black-sand beaches and really pretty.

3. aniva bay is southern sakhalin, essentially. it’s a fork, and in the middle is where the black sand beach is in platinum. in actuality, aniva bay is not that big. there’s a lighthouse off one fork, not tall or anything impressive, but it’s there. at one point i wanted law and luffy to sail in (i saw sail, i mean like surf on a pokemon okay) past the lighthouse, and go through the bay, and stop on the black sand beach. this was before i knew most anything about part four, though, and soon the idea was scrapped as i deviated towards the cargo ship taking them to fight area. also, aniva bay isn’t deep enough for whales to flop around in, and i realize since i called it a bay in tether that that should also hold true, but i did say it was a wailmer so let’s jus forget that inaccuracy and say its okay bc the whale is tiny.

4. stark mountain was a challenge i spent. so long. so so long. trying to find the mountain range it was based off of. pokemon wikipedia was no help, bc sakhalin is huge. if i was gonna do anything for the pokemon community, i’d wanna go and edit articles to include real-life landmarks that in-game ones were based on. i think the closest thing i found to a once-volcano was more into the northern half of sakhalin, so after spending too much time looking into it, i jus wrote based on screenshots of stark mountain, and on my own intuition. also, yea, i used video game logic the closer they got to the volcano. please don’t depict characters holding cloth over their mouths to protect from sulfur ash if youre going for accuracy, bc thats not going to help.

5. the survival area and the ainu village. i wrote a little about the ainu in part one, while exploring law’s village. my main amount of research went into the ainu’s of sakhalin, though. it’s all sorta the same culture, since they all got kicked out migrated to hokkaido anyway, but there are a few differences. the sheer rock cliff is part of a sakhalin photoset i referenced, so it does exist, somewhere. yes, there are bears in sakhalin, perhaps even more than hokkaido, since it’s less-human-populated. but, again, also colder. i realize survival area is a settlement in platinum, but also.. its really small? and kinda nothing, tbh. so i transformed it into an ainu village, since it’s so outta the way of the other two areas down on each fork of the bay, and it’s closer to the volcano, where the fire goddess resides.

the ainu are the indigenous population of japan. i mentioned before, if you’ve read fma or one of arakawa’s spreads, you’ve probably heard of them. in fma, they’re the race that the ishvalans are based off of. nowadays, they reside in hokkaido, and a while ago they used to reside in lower sakhalin. i couldn’t figure up a creative name for tether for them and i was in so much of a time crunch that in the end i didnt bother, sue me. researching the ainu was most definitely one of the more time-consuming tasks. i spent a long time reading. i watched, after a good recommendation, all two seasons of golden kamuy (an excellent portrayal of hokkaido!ainu, btw, jus not exactly what i was going for) and all one season of sirius the jaegar, where i got the most help from. marking maps and writing the outline (and making myself remember why i dont ever outline. ever.) were definitely time-consuming, but ainu research was by far the most hours i spent on a task for tether (besides like, writing it.)

i still don’t feel like i did enough research, so the cultural things i did include i tried to keep vague to keep from portraying wrong. the bear ceremonies, the signs of summer through salmon (finneon) hunting and huki harvesting, the bear cub raising, the ripping of clothing in a funeral procession, and the kamuy (ainu gods) are all real things and part of ainu culture. woman tattoo their lips, yes. the patterns of the clothing are distinctive (also warm, bc they’ve always been This Far North, and tether!law is a bastardization of forgotten ainu culture pls dont look at his sleeveless top next to his wooden earrings i beg you) there are lots of things i could go into, but im jus gonna leave it vague again and say if you’re super interested, go find an article or watch golden kamuy.

there wasn’t a lot of pokemon depicted in the wilds of the battle zone, and for reason. at this point i really wanted to keep true to sakhalin, so i stuck with the fauna native there, and the pokemon native to sinnoh, and if i didn’t include any pokemon that actually appear in the battle zone in platinum? oops. my house my rules. anyway so horses, dogs, wolves, bears. rapidash, eevee, luxray line, ursaring line.. that covers it, right? oh, and fearow. okay, so i did include one pokemon from platinum’s battle zone. also wailmer, there was a wailmer.

why did you include baroque works into dragon’s group?

so. i wrote tether while the vivre cards were coming out. specifically, right before i was supposed to have started writing part 4, the alabasta pack came out, and i was so taken with goldenweek’s real name that i re-read little garden and stuck her into the story. bentham was.. k, no lie, in my mind he’s like a pseudo-rev member? i jus associate hm so heavily with ivankov, and i read a fic once where he was iva’s student and since then i’ve jus always had to include him in rev stuff so that’s why he’s here. plus i love him. good enough, right? and those two are the only ones, so it’s not entirely baroque works. i don’t rly consider bentham bw anymore, like i said, he’s kinda a pseudo-rev. and i jus rly liked marianne’s name. also her, now. tether!marianne is cool. 85% of the story’s sass.

april 9th is both caesar and marguerite’s birthday. i think in the beginning i was searching for characters that share birthdays for a plot point, and when i settled on caesar i settled on marguerite eventually for this reason just so i could make the whole ‘it’s not his bday its mine!!’ joke. and then i formed the whole story on it being late march-early april and based the weather off that.

law’s sixth pokemon. see, i told you revealing it was strategic! you all were expecting null, right? and then out pops silvally. well, it’s been so many years, so it’s natural they would’ve figured out love and trust and such and breaking the mask and evolving. still! aaaa, that felt so good to write.

there’s more of a metaphor with silvally, even more with umbreon, that i was going for. something along the lines of a captured being being granted escape, bonding with someone, coming back to get due vengeance with the old captor, showing how much more they had become. with umbreon, it was more thing-i-protected-grew-into-something-that-now-protects-me aka her helping law through his nightmares, being a generally supportive and kind pokemon like someone law knew wink wink. also literally protect, with the whole casear thing.

okay mind control time. i reread pt 4 real quick before writing the notes, and im still not completely satisfied with how shanks broke free. i tried to hard to research good mind control depictions but i was more interested in figuring out how the mind control ended rather than the state of being, and there weren’t many promising results other than the victim dying, which wasn’t helpful. i knew i didn’t want it to be the whole i-love-you-so-snap-out-of-it thing, thats so cheesy and kinda ridiculous tbh. i think luffy confronting shanks’ inner self directly and convincing him to step out is nice, but if you pay attention closer to the scenes and how they match up, you might notice something that aids this.

so, it wasn’t just luffy. i know a lot goes on in latter half of pt 4, and all the scenes are disjointed. law and umbreon and silvally defeat gengar before shanks awakes properly. it was luffy, yes, that convinced him everything was going to be okay, and to not falter. but since gengar was knocked unconscious, the control over shanks was already waning to begin with. it was more like, he was already fine, and out of the cycle, but the trauma kept him from realizing it until luffy came. does that help? so basically, it wasn’t luffy talking alone, it was defeating gengar, like luffy had thought of previously. and then it was helping shanks thorugh it, because you don’t just bounce back from that. thats why i wrote shanks Like That in the remaining scenes.

while not in the best conditions as lab 3, labs 1 and 2 were fully-operational and secure facilities, so if you were questioning why sabo and law (mortally injured, mind you -two stab wounds, ow) would just leave the people and pokemon next to a burning lab, it’s because it was secure and the fire contained. the base was inside a volcano, guys, there’s no way the rooms werent airtight to prevent an accident. imagine being That Guy that fucked something up and led to the active volcano erupting. of course they took precautions. also, sabo had been working in the base for a bit, so if he thought the people were gonna catch fire, he wouldn’t have left them.

koala having aromatisse was purely for plot purposes, for it’s hidden ability. i needed a psychic type, and if i haven’t mentioned, dragon’s group are based in kalos, so it had to be from there. it fits though, maybe, right? anywa, yea, that’s why sabo has a delphox and salamence after he fucks off for two years, because he was in kalos. (this is what i’m referring to, if you haven’t clicked on any of those links.)

Law takes Luffy’s hand and leads them backwards, until they’re out of sight again

and, finally, my favorite moment of tether, when lawlu graduates from arms to wrists to finally holding hands. /cries so proud

k but what’s with that ending?

fun fact time i always knew how i wanted to end tether. from the moment of its conception, even before i finished writing part 1 (before i started, really, back when i was gathering material) i knew it ended with dragon in front of the statue of giratina. insert obligatory sequel joke here marianne mentions, before the trio ventures into the base, that her group’s leader wouldn’t appreciate having to halt his own agenda to help them with taking out the hunters. giratina was this agenda.

originally, before i started on pt 2, i thought abt law/lu taking a different route. i wanted them to go north, up through eterna forest and to eterna city, and examine the statue of dialga. then go east from there, still taking them through coronet, but then through celestic town and seeing the cave painting of the lake guardians. i also really wanted them to go to lake valor, since it was the only lake they could conceivably go to on their way to veilstone. i thought about switching pastoria for snowpoint and encountering sabo at lake acuity. none of this worked out, but it was all supposed to reference back into dragon and giratina and sinnoh lore. instead i turned it fully into a travel fic and then a rescue op, at the end. it’s still interesting to think how the story could’ve changed, had they gone up to eterna before crossing through coronet.

in all honesty i wanted to end the story on a surprise note. almost like a goosebumps ending, where everything is resolved and then at the very end there’s a quick scene that leaves you grasping for more, leaves you questioning. (also like certain op chapters leaving you with zero answers and more questions than you started with, fuck you, oda) it wasn’t until i was almost done with part 4 that i started to kinda miss tether, even tho i wasnt done yet but my outline had been done for a bit so i kinda was? and then i remembered back in november when i created concepts for ace and sabo before i even wrote that one scene in mt coronet, and i remembered thinking so much about their story, and their travels, and sabo’s accident. and then, not long after i finished with part 4, i had a startling idea, and i had a first line of a maybe sequel, and i started to put a little more thought into it.

if you’re looking for confirmation, this isn’t it. this is saying i have an idea i’d like to explore. maybe. tether took a lot of work, and a lot of time. it definitely doesn’t have as much feedback as i would like it to, for me to invest in a full-fledged sequel. if i start this, if i ever do, it’ll definitely be more lax, and a chapter-by-chapter sort of thing. i guess it just comes down to how many people are actually interested in it.

#tether #writing

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