#i mean... pretty damn heavily implied at least lmao

[thychesters]

Right in the middle of enjoying a two a.m. coffee break, Dick blurts out: “I was thinking of proposing to Babs.”

Jason, not to be outdone with the random outburst of dramatics, maintains eye contact while taking a steady sip of his coffee before offering: “The hell are you telling me for?”

“Needed someone to bounce ideas off of,” Dick says, leveling with him a look. Jason shrugs and goes back to his coffee and watches a car idle at a red light about ten stories below.

“Sounds like you’re asking for my blessing.” He sucks a breath in through his teeth, rolling back his shoulders. He makes it a point not to glance toward his brother, but he can feel the glare being shot his way. “You want me to do it? I’m officially ordained.”

“No, I’m not asking you to—wait, since when?”

Jason finally graces him with eye contact. “Trade secret. I’m legally not allowed to tell you.”

Dick lets out the longest suffering sigh in the history of long-suffering sighs. Jason takes another sip of his coffee and raises an eyebrow. Dick’s free hand (the one not holding the holiday coffee Jason conned him into trying with him) scrubs down his face, though at least it doesn’t dislodge his mask. He also pretends to ignore the not so nice remark he grumbles and shrugs.

“Why, you knock her up or something?” he asks only as a joke.

Or, it is until Dick hesitates and says: “Yeah, but that’s not why I want to ask her.”

Jason’s just glad he isn’t drinking, otherwise he’d be choking and that would be a total waste of the peppermint mocha he had Dick buy him.

“You what?”

“But don’t tell anyone,” Dick says in a rush, like Jason’s had ample time to process and they’re due to move onto the next topic. Jason’s still reeling from the notion Dick decided to bring up the idea of marriage as a way of breaking up an otherwise amicable silence. The idea he’s reproducing? And with Barbara? (Poor Babs.) He’s barely through stage one of the five stages of grief.

“That’s,” Jason starts before stopping again. He shifts his weight from one foot to the other, picking at the paper sleeve. There’s a dull thunk when he nudges his helmet with his foot. “Congrats, man. I guess. That’s something.” He eyes him carefully. “You ready to be a dad?”

“Do I look ready?”

“Honestly? You kinda look scared shitless.”

“Oh good, so I look exactly how I feel then.” Dick shakes his head, rolling his cup between his palms. There’s a sort of nervous energy to him, which Jason figures is about to be expected. 

He isn’t quite privy to the inner workings of his relationship with Barbara, and that’s really none of his business. From what he’s gathered the two were a thing for a while and then they weren’t, and Steph said there were definitely some vibes between them during his Batman days. As far as he’s aware, he and Babs have only been together again for a short period of time, so part of him wants to say asking if she wants to get married feels a little rushed. But he also got her pregnant, so. Plus, Jason’s also told people not to put coffee grounds in the garbage disposal, so no one really listens to him anyway. 

“I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Jason ventures after a few minutes of watching Dick fiddle with his cup. He purses his lips and glances back down to his own before clearing his throat. “In my defense, uh, I thought you guys already were. Or planning on it, at least. You act like an old married couple anyway.”

Dick huffs out something like a laugh. “Stephanie said the same thing.”

“You told Stephanie before you told me?” Jason asks around the lip of his cup, narrowing his eyes behind his own lenses. He clicks his tongue once loudly, mockingly.

“You literally just got annoyed that I told you to begin with.”

“Yeah, but that’s just the principle of the thing.”

“I’m not telling you anything anymore.”

Jason grins. “Promise?”

Dick looks like he’s trying to hide a smile, but even behind his chestnut praline latte he fails miserably. He should rib him more, Jason thinks. It makes for good, easy entertainment. Even if half of the time Dick will try to reach over and thwack him. They tell Alfred trying to give one another black eyes is how they bond. “You should respect your elders more.”

“No, for real, I thought you and Barbara already were? Are? Or at some point?” Jason tries, lowering his arms as he works through some mental gymnastics. Piecing together memories is easier said than done, especially when most of them aren’t fragmented to begin with. “But then last I knew you and Kory were still going strong. Then I die and come back to find Barbara’s lowered her standards.”

“I’m not going to sit here and just listen to you mock me, you know.”

“Too late, you chose to speak to me and now you must suffer the consequences of your own actions,” Jason intones. Dick’s expression is the epitome of regret and one his young brother takes immense joy in.

“I really regret ever talking to you.”

“Oh please, don’t act like you’re the only one. You’re not special,” Jason grouses, and Dick just snickers. “Nah, I think they both deserve better—hell, they’re probably better off together than with you. I rescind my offer: I’m officiating their wedding instead.”

“You ass.”

“You can’t tell me to be more respectful and then insult me. Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of the lesson you’re trying to teach me? I’ve learned nothing. I’m a well read man and I can feel my brain cells slowly dying off one by one the more time I spend with you.”

Dick mutters some very unkind words, to which Jason only pulls a sturgeon face, shrugs, and finishes off his coffee. He lets the silence stretch out between them, both of them stretching or rocking onto the balls of their feet because neither of them can sit still. There’s still more left to say, but rather than venture into that territory at three in the morning, Jason only reaches up his arms as Dick rolls his shoulders.

“For the record,” Jason starts as Dick gathers up their cups and searches out a trash can. There’s a dumpster in the alley below them, and he watches him eyeball it for a moment before he’s sending them sailing in a gentle arc. He glances back as he claps a hand on his shoulder. “You’re gonna be a fine dad. As for proposing? Maybe give it a little time—you do it too soon and it’s gonna look like you asked just because she’s pregnant. And congrats, again. I’m happy for you guys.”

Dick stares at him for a moment, the ghost of a hesitant smile tugging at his mouth. “You sick?”

“I’m just glad you told me before you told Bruce.”

“Ah, there he is.”

Jason pulls his hand back, rolling his eyes even if that can’t be seen behind his lens as he stoops down to collect his helmet; Dick perches on the ledge in preparation of launching himself. As he stands, Jason smiles a little, and not just because he’s considering pushing Dick off the roof.

#dick grayson #jason todd #dickbabs #i mean... pretty damn heavily implied at least lmao #dc #dickbabs baby au #this isn't exactly how dick breaks the news to jason in the actual fic but i mostly just wrote this for the sake of the dialogue #because i jotted down 'i'm not telling you anything anymore' 'promise?' and built around that lmao #also sure they found a 24-hour starbucks because this is gotham and no one in gotham gives a shit anymore everyone can do what they want #** #pregnancy /

[protectchara201x]

(ignoring all the other juicy Deltarune 2 stuff to shove Chara Talks into it lololol)

I haven’t been super active on this blog because frankly I have like, three? looong analysis/theorycrafting posts I’ve been putting off working on and it fills me with shame to log in and see them waiting in my drafts.

But.

With the release of Deltarune Chapter 2, I wanted to talk kinda in general about how I thought it could impact the fandom’s perception of Everybody’s Favorite Demon Baby, and also point out something in specific about the Weird Route that might connect back to Undertale.

Putting it under the cut to avoid spoilers and long-winded ramblings for the unwilling. Includes spoilers for the Weird Route.

(NOTE: may update later if I notice more things for to put in section II. I’d like to make a full list of parallels if I can tidy them up.)

I. Pre- vs Post-Release Thoughts (you can skip down to II if you don’t care, it is genuinely Long and Pointless)

Okay, so first off. I got SO worried like, the day before the new chapter dropped? It hit me that whatever new stuff we got out of this, people would connect back to Undertale, and. Honestly, I really do hate connecting everything back to Chara, because I do think of Kris as their own character and I really like them and don’t want to ignore everything they got going on. But, I am first and foremost a shameless Chara stan and they’re very important to me, so I kinda... did spend a few minutes reeling from all the new DR stuff as its own stuff, and then immediately started thinking about how this would reflect back on Chara in Undertale lol.

But that’s ok for me to do here because this is my All Chara, Only Chara, All The Time blog, so I am gonna only really talk about Deltarune here to talk about them lol.

So yeah, I started getting anxious beforehand worrying about how everyone would take any and all implications and apply it to mean “aha, Chara IS evil!” The fakeout with the pie reveal in the anniversary stream was a big relief, but I still got worried leading up to the release about what could be in it.

Because part of why I’ve always thought that “Chara was genuinely evil from the start” and even “ok maybe not TOTALLY evil, but Chara was still a kinda bad person” were unlikely was, even if you throw out all the other popular Chara-sympathetic theories. To me, both these takes just seemed too below TF’s talent and the way he wrote all his other characters with depth and love; a Chara like the one these theories propose just doesn’t belong in a world created by TF, and the way the Dreemurrs talk about them overall, the way TF made a point of having Chara say they were guided and repeatedly, correctly blame you the player for the destruction in Kill-All, I was sure that he never intended them to ever be as bad as the fandom sometimes tried to make them out to be.

... Like, mostly sure. Like, 80% sure? Because he never ever talks about them, so it’s impossible say for sure, and it is still theoretically possible that “Chara was and is bad” was the cold-ass take he’d intended all along. So yeah, leading up to the release, I started getting antsy that whatever new lore came out of it, either he’d directly confirm “Chara was a villain?” “*cocks gun* Always has been” or there’d be something that’d at least heavily implicate them, or could be twisted to implicate them, as a negative force. More ammo to be used against them in the Chara Debate Circles would be a drag, and outright confirmation of them as a villain would honestly break my heart and I’d be forced to disown Toby Fox, My Beloved Cool Dad.

And, right now? Tell the truth, I’m SO relieved and I am SO happy. And not just because of how much depth and characterization it seems Kris is getting! (imo, because rn I just headcanon them as an unhappy teen desperately trying to keep their new friends going on adventures with them and trying to fight back against the player’s control)

I love how this chapter seems to be TF doing course-correcting based on fandom interpretations. Because Kris just isn’t evil, even if they are a knife teen, even if they are the Knight, they’re just NOT evil and that’s canon, baybeeee; it’s made clear in this chapter and the previous one that they love their family even outside of the player’s control, they care about their new friends even outside of the player’s control, they’re established as a weird creepy kid but no one sees them as scary or evil, they’re just Kris, and even in the Weird Route, TF made a point of hammering in the differences between Kris and the player in the Weird Route: Susie and Ralsei notice how distressed Kris seemed after you have Noelle ice Berdly, Noelle heard a voice that she said wasn’t Kris telling her to kill, and the FUCKING Spamton fight: “Kris called for help... but nobody came” again and again, and then “You whispered Noelle’s name”... you, not Kris.

I know TF has never commented much on fans’ perceptions of Frisk and Chara, or who exactly is pulling strings in different routes. But after all this, and especially after seeing all the little winks and nods to fandom jokes in this chapter (what comes to mind: pulling everyone’s leg by seeming to have Kris attack Toriel with a knife only to reveal that pie theory was right, Susie not liking Ralsei’s real face as much as his shadowed one, Ralsei with a gun getting referenced with the ad, Kris getting a joke fixation with knives after the fans made Chara and Kris have knife obsessions as a joke), and seeing what looks like him try to correct some things (what stuck out to me was doubling down on showing that Kris is loved and valued in their family: lots of fans came away from Chapter 1 thinking that Kris was not valued as much as Asriel, but here we see that Toriel is supportive of Kris’ friendship with Susie, and it’s stated that Asriel is the one who used the crappy controller, not Kris) -

I think while he hasn’t commented directly, while he admitted to being overwhelmed by Undertale’s success, while he tends to be pretty tight-lipped about the lore (whether that’s because it’ll be addressed by future chapters or because he prefers to let fans sleuth it out), this chapter convinced me that Toby does keep tabs on fan reactions in Deltarune, so he probably does with Undertale too and would know about all The Discourse surrounding Little Mx Pink Cheeks (and in turn, popular theories like Narrator Chara... Toby if you integrate Narrator Chara into Deltarune being a borderline creepypasta and have the narrator start talking directly to the characters or to the player or the characters start talking to the narrator I will lose my damn B E A N S).

(Kris and Chara not being demonized and the narrator interacting directly with the characters were the only two things on my wishlist going in, I was fine with literally anything else happening lmao)

I even kinda think he’s going out of his way to separate Kris and the player because we didn’t get it before with Undertale, we still insisted that Frisk or Chara was the one doing it, and he’s even using Kris to show that even if this kid can be scary, maybe even mean, and maybe they’re even the Knight (with their reasons unknown), they’re still not a bad kid, they’re still funny and likable, and they still genuinely love their family and friends - which falls in line with Undertale’s cast of complex but likable people who can be antagonists and make mistakes but still aren’t truly bad people, and imo is a direct response to some people fixating on the idea that Chara was always evil because they seem scary/complicated.

... Which is a long way to say that I came out of Deltarune with my confidence fully restored about TF’s intentions with Chara and Kris. Even if he never comments on Chara directly, now I really don’t think TF thinks they’re evil or ever intended for them to be. Deltarune convinced me more than ever that Chara is meant to be complex, yes, and able to be influenced to do horrible things, but they were never intended to be as malicious or shallow as some fans insist.

TLDR:

Toby Fox read your mean fanfiction where Chara is a bad abusive serial killer no one likes, and he made Deltarune in revenge.

... Hm? Ah, you’d like me to get to the point! Right this way!

II. Undertale, Deltarune, and The Point

While no doubt some will still take the voice Noelle hears to be Chara influencing her to turn her into a murderer (I haven’t gone looking for it yet, but I’m sure it’s already a thing because I know this fandom), since it’s made too clear by the game that they can’t blame Kris for this one, I think at this point that’s just being too stubborn to consider other ideas.

If you believe in the totally made up idea used in so many fanfics that Chara is an evil spirit trying to whisper in Frisk’s ear to kill everyone, literally (for some reason) the embodiment of raising stats, and gets more control over people who have increased LV to take over their body... sure. Could be them, they did talk about moving on to the next world and all. I mean, that wouldn’t really make sense because it’s literally never implied in the actual game that Chara encourages you to kill outside of the Kill-All Run or even wants you to, certainly not as the narrator and we get no hint of them doing this as an unseen, unheard third-party either.

Not to mention they’re NOT literally possessing you because of increased LV; they don’t control you even with high LV in any Undertale route other than arguably the Kill-All, and if you fail the Kill-All and it turns into a high-body count Neutral, Chara suddenly stops using first-person narration and showing up in mirrors entirely even though they were showing themself before, the LV remains the same or even can get raised as high as LV 19, nor do they suddenly take over in any other Neutral runs. We can speculate on why (personally, I’d place this either on Chara’s mindset, such as them sinking into shock from the trauma or becoming more assertive as the player feeds their megalomania, or as a sign of Frisk’s withdrawal, leaving Chara alone in the body to take the reins and act out the player’s orders), but canonically, no, Chara does not take over due to high stats.

In fact, there’s even more evidence against this. First-person narration also exists for fleeing your battles in Undertale, even on Pacifist runs with base stats, 0 EXP, and an LV of 1. Since Chara is established to use first-person narration to refer to themself, is the only one who canonically does so, and is confirmed to be present even in all runs through their name and memories always showing up, it seems pretty likely that Chara can take control to flee battle. That means an increase in stats is not a sign of their presence or control, in Undertale or Deltarune.

The most damning blow to the idea that Chara is the voice corrupting Noelle are the lines in the fight with Spamton I mentioned. Kris called for help, but nobody came. You whispered Noelle’s name. Well hold on. If that’s Chara, shouldn’t it be “I whispered Noelle’s name”? As soon as you’ve officially started the Kill-All in Undertale, Chara starts up their “It’s me, Chara” schtick right away, right there in Toriel’s home in the first area, and if they weren’t the narrator before, they’re beginning to speak through the narration now. If the voice was Chara, surely Toby Fox knows it’d be a way bigger “oh shit” moment if the creepy scary hidden route once again switched into first-person, scaring us the same way he did before when we first saw “It’s me, Chara” and knew something was wrong; unfairly or not, their reputation as a villain is still well established and hinting to Chara’s presence with a simple “I” would drive the menace even further, if he intended for them to simply be a demon that possesses player characters when you grind enough. But it’s still just you. The player.

The Weird Route does even more to help Chara’s case than that. Not only is it made pretty clear that Kris and the player are separate, and the player is the one responsible for corrupting Noelle and making her kill... consider how similar Noelle and Chara are, in the Weird Route and the Kill-All Route.

This “voice” that “guides” them in growing strong, compelling them to kill everyone in order to fight for them, eventually driving them to murder people they know. Chara calls themself “the demon that comes when people call its name”, and you whisper Noelle’s name to have her appear to kill Spamton. Noelle’s conflicting emotions towards Kris and the voice as she is manipulated, as she becomes more violent and sadistic, as she goes into shock; does that not sound like Chara, who flipflops between holding you dear as their partner and wanting to move on to the next world together, to be together forever, and them being disgusted by your refusal to accept consequences and the perverse enjoyment you get in killing everyone again and again? Chara, who clings to their quirky narration for much of the Kill-All, but keeps slipping up, who becomes terrifyingly cold, aggressive, power-hungry, and even sadistic, yet still calls Undyne “the heroine”, still seems to still care about their locket, still has moments where they seem to falter?

Noelle does put up significantly more resistance to the voice’s commands than Chara does, and at least much more visibly shows distress and trauma. I don’t think this is a black mark on Chara’s chara-cter either, or an indication of them being more violent or cruel.

For one, while Noelle is still herself with her own soul, it is heavily implied by Chara, Flowey, and Undertale’s lore that Chara was reincarnated without their own soul, at best perhaps attached to Frisk’s (or yours): as I speculate in one of my currently unfinished theories, while monster souls are made up of love, compassion, and hope and thus Asriel was reincarnated without these qualities, it could well be that human souls are correspondingly made up of their own multiple traits, namely determination, patience, bravery, integrity, perseverance, kindness, and justice; if true, a soulless Chara would be lacking these qualities, which would make them less equipped to resist the player’s commands or to feel as torn up about it.

Also, the player has a hold on them both as “party members” to the player’s vessels, but it is also possible that the player naming Chara and having them directly attached to Frisk also gives them a stronger connection to Chara they can abuse, similar to how Kris and Frisk (as the player’s direct vessels) have much less autonomy than Kris’ party members.

(Fun observation: We know that when the thing controlling Kris forced Noelle into becoming a killer and using her to kill Berdly, Kris was horrified and shaken-up according to Susie and Ralsei. How do you think Frisk felt watching Chara be used to slaughter the Underground and then erasing the world when they’re totally corrupted?)

And lastly... look, Noelle and Chara are both minors, but Chara is significantly younger - a small child compared to Noelle’s teen. I know it’s fiction and strong wills and determination and anime is real and all, but a traumatized young child who died two violent and awful deaths back-to-back, may have literally experienced being a corpse in their own coffin/grave for who knows how long, and then came back ”confused” only to immediately start hearing a voice relentlessly commanding them to kill everyone?? I can absolutely see a traumatized kid shutting down and just going with it out of fear at first, before the LV sets in.

TLDR:

What you do to Noelle in the Weird Route is the same fucking thing you do to Chara in the Kill-All Route.

#undertale #deltarune #undertale chara #chara dreemurr #Undertale theory #deltarune theory #undertale meta #deltarune meta #kris dreemurr #noelle holiday #text post #long post #i am genuinely so happy #yall who were mean to chara better APOLOGIZE #toby fox is on the chara defense squad #tw child death #here's my hot stinkin take #full disclosure #i haven't run into anything yet talking about chara wrt dr ch2 #i am very curious for other people's thoughts #unless you're like #willingly and spitefully interpreting everything as being chara's fault #then tbh i don't want to hear from you

[trickstercaptain]

I hope you’re in the mood to talk about tpof and if not it’s ok. I just finished the book and needed to talk to someone about it and it’s sad not many even know it exists. I wanted to know what you think about Jack’s feelings toward Esmeralda and Amenirdis because I have a hard time understanding it. It feels like his feelings for Esm was more of a “damn,she’s so hot” thing while it felt deeper for Amenirdis but he also compared them a lot and showed interest in both their personalities. I don’t know it just felt a bit confusing to me.

ahhh anon thank you for the question I always love talking about TPOF even if it sometimes may take a while to get around to answering a question in my ask! and you’re asking a valid question, one of admittedly only a few things I dislike about the book is that Jack gets not one, but two love interests — I really personally think that he should have just had the one but I can also appreciate the narrative & characterisation significance of both Esmeralda and Amenirdis’ roles in the story

now first off, I’m not gonna compare the two women or state that one ship is better than the other because we’re not about that kinda attitude towards two female characters who are great in their own right, but I will compare their relationships with Jack and talk about them from his POV. at least within the context of the book, Esmeralda very much fits the childhood/teenage sweethearts sort of role for Jack, even though he was 20 and she even older when they met and courted on Shipwreck Cove lmao. hers is a formative relationship for Jack and has a ripple effect for every single love interest who comes after. it’s heavily implied that she was his first ‘serious’ relationship or at least the first one where emotions and love were at play, so of course that is going to influence him going forward and, no matter how their relationship/where they are in life changes between the Shipwreck chapters and when they meet again during the main story, it means they still and will likely always have a lot of fondness and affection for one another. it’s also a relationship based in a friendship because while on Shipwreck, they got to know each other as friends in a real slow-burn type of dynamic before things become physical between them

Amenirdis is a very different kind of dynamic because, where Jack’s relationship with Esmeralda is told exclusively from Jack’s POV, Amenirdis’ relationship is told mostly from her POV. we don’t get much from Jack about how he feels towards her, and on Amenirdis’ side Jack is her first everything pretty much -- the first man she’s kissed, the first man she’s slept with, the first man that she falls in love with. it’s definitely not on this same level for Jack which adds a certain imbalance to their relationship (and by no means am I saying that’s a bad thing, it does make their dynamic interesting and probably more akin to Jack’s relationships in later canon because he tends to always have the role of the more experienced/jaded one, hence why it may seem more familiar while reading ). there’s still no doubting that he cares about her a lot though, and while I’ve never actually delved deep into the text to count how many of those deep, emotional moments Jack has with Esmeralda vs Amenirdis, I would probably guess that he has more of those moments with Amenirdis simply because of how integral she is to the Zerzura plot, while most of Esmeralda’s moments sans her two appearances in the main story are told in the flashbacks.

so I guess to sum up, they’re both important to him, however they both enter into his life at very different moments and therefore are completely different dynamics -- Jack knows Esmeralda before he’s a captain, before he leaves Shipwreck and becomes someone who more closely resembles the character we know in movie canon ( aside from the fact that he’s still denying his inner pirate ), whereas Amenirdis meets him after that and has more of a belligerent sexual tension type relationship ( especially in the beginning lmao ) that more closely resembles other love interests Jack has later on in canon

#Anonymous #&. and you want to turn pirate yourself. is that it? ( answered. ) #it's always important i guess to bear in mind that that five year period between shipwreck jack & merchant captain jack is super significant #jack changes a lot in those years #and on a very simple level the relationships with esmeralda & amenirdis represent that before and after

[pleaseshutupaboutsatou]

Before and After Ajin Volume 1

Part Three

[Part One] [Part Two]

This was supposed to be the last part but I had a lot to say on this one particular subject.

Ajin: Human or Demi-Human

Spoilers ahead and I will refer to Tsuina Miura as TM.

Before V2 - Ajin: Human or Demi-Human

Okay, so it’s always kind of perplexed me that Ajin are so objectified. They look like any other person but in the world of Ajin, they’re referred to as ‘another species’, a ‘life-form’, and sometimes even ‘it’. When someone finds out they’re Ajin, it’s not readily apparent and can easily be hidden. Probably the most conspicuous aspect of an Ajin is their IBM if anything -- especially if they can’t control it. 

Anyway, the way I’ve really looked at it, I’ve always kinda assumed that the objectification of Ajin was a purposeful and systemic way of othering people with immortal abilities so that they can be more easily taken advantage of. 

I forget that this thought is just pure speculation and not actually explicitly said in canon. (TBH, I would really like to know the origins of why people see Ajin as non-human.)

This aspect is just part of the unique takes Ajin has on immortality. Immortals can age. To be an Ajin is not seen as a cool or fun but something terrifying and unknown. You don’t want to be an Ajin. In fact, in the first chapter of the manga, when the teacher suggests the possibility that someone in the class might be one, it immediately makes everyone uneasy.

In TM’s part of the manga, there’s a strong emphasis on the idea of Ajin not being seen as human. It’s repeated a lot in Kei’s dialogue with Kai and in the pilot chapter with Shinya. In fact, the opening line in the pilot chapter is ‘Those life forms do not die... They are know as demi-humans’.

The language in the Wikipedia article about Ajin that Shinya reads uses dry language when discussing the relationship between Ajin and human experimentation. It seems like there’s no hint of controversy! 

If you’ve read Tenkuu Shinpan, this cynical worldview will probably be very familiar. Miura’s writing has this sort of color.

Anyway, in volume one, the humanity of Ajin is constantly questioned and touched upon in the dialogue.

What a bizarre question for Izumi to ask, of all people... Izumi could be playing detective a detective role here, but knowing that she’s an Ajin, this almost comes across as self-loathing. Perhaps Izumi might have gone down that path if Miura stayed on?

This bit of dialogue from Tanaka, shortly after the former scene, feels more consistent with the story thus far. Satou made being a demi-human a point of pride for Tanaka and for Izumi to pretend to be one definitely made her less in his eyes. Actually, he was pretty cruel to everyone in that room in this scene, but if you take into consideration Izumi’s anti-Ajin-like dialogue and her explicitly saying she’s from the Demi-Human Control Commission (the ones responsible for his imprisonment), I can see where it comes from.

Anyway, much of the compelling dialogue on an Ajin’s humanity is between Kei and Kai. On the run after being outed as an Ajin, Kei is constantly questioning his own humanity.

And, as long as Kai is around Kei, he constantly reassures Kei that he is indeed human and even if he isn’t, he can be human if he wants to be.

Now that I think about it, perhaps the idea of demi-humans not being human comes from the human fear of death and the loss of its universal certainty. Death is scary, unpredictable, unavoidable and not really something a lot of people like to dwell on. However, despite those feelings, it’s ubiquitous and maybe some comfort comes from that - that it will happen to everyone. Not to Ajin though (as far as the public knows, they don’t really know about aging or natural-death Ajin). In fact Ajin can tiptoe between death and life. Perhaps that comes across as grotesque and maybe that’s a reason why they’re feared? A scene that exemplifies this is Kei’s first suicide - or reset, as it’s later called. 

Kai’s expression is of sadness, worry, and terror because he just witnessed Kei, someone he’s trying to protect, harm himself. He obviously knows that Kei will likely be fine but you can’t really logic away the visceral reaction to seeing such a thing. Meanwhile Kei, is excited, almost ecstatic, because he sees he’s able to walk on his own two legs again and not be such a burden to Kai. His relationship to death has totally changed. Does the lack of ability to die correlate with a loss of humanity?

Perhaps, TM wanted that to be constant question in their story. Are Ajin really human? Or maybe TM wanted Ajin to actually not really be human and for us to mistakenly think they are? TBH though, it doesn’t really seem like TM’s fast-paced action writing style... but maybe those kinds of questions piqued Sakurai’s interest.

After V2 - Ajin: Human or Demi-Human

I think Sakurai is interested in exploring the theme of humanity and human experience in general through these immortal characters. 

As the story progresses, he seems to go with the notion that Ajin are just people who can’t die. I think this is emphasized with Tanaka’s increasing mundaneness. His very first appearance is incredibly striking. He looks diabolical.

And he doesn’t seem that way to just the audience but to Kei as well, who sees Tanaka with a mean face and a knife in their first encounter and is instantly scared. In Kei’s dreams, Tanaka becomes a symbol of aggressive masculinity.

It’s all a front though, and through Tanaka’s flashback a handful of chapters later, it becomes clear that, like Kei, he’s an ordinary person put through extraordinary circumstances.

Satou, however, comes across as a force of nature and inhuman. Physical obliteration and philosophical ideas of death do not phase him at all. His flesh body is a tool that he takes apart and puts back together with casual indifference. In the end, though, he is a human being, though, damn, does he make it difficult for other people, ourselves included, to believe that.

Last, but not least, Sakurai spends a great deal of care on Kei’s transition from teen to young adult throughout the story with all the self-doubt, risk-taking and awkwardness that comes with it. What kind of person will he become? What does he really want? 

He puts on a front as a disinterested, self-serving person whose no-nonsense, but, actually he does care and maybe he likes a little of nonsense (but not too much). As for the person he might become, it’s interesting that Kei has two older, contrasting figures in his life who serve as influences: Hirasawa and Satou. Hirasawa says he’s fine the way he is and that it’s okay to run away; he kind of indulges Kei and tells him what he wants to hear - maybe he sees himself in Kei and tells him what he wish he could have heard.  Meanwhile, Satou wants to challenge Kei, though, for entirely selfish reasons and maybe, he too, saw some of himself in Kei. Though, lmao, he got bored with that towards the end.

A big part of Kei’s journey is self-acceptance. Self-acceptance as a person coming-of-age and as a person whose an Ajin. To a person like Kou, he probably seems like he has a concrete idea of who he is, but that’s not the case at all.

Kei starts out as an incredibly reluctant hero. In fact, he only came into the role out of necessity as Satou grew to be a bigger and bigger problem that could no longer be ignored. In the period between the attack on Grant Pharmaceuticals and the attack on Forge Security, his lack of enthusiasm is very explicit; he even dreams of being whisked away. Nevertheless, he begrudgingly concocts a plan for defending Forge Security. 

It’s in the aftermath of Forge Security that he starts to change and aggressively pursue Satou. However, this change of heart will be repeatedly tested as Satou continues to evade him.

Sakurai has also had some things to say about the question of a demi-human’s humanity on a grander scale, particularly, through a character like Ogura. When you first meet him, he’s very blunt and sarcastic and seems to have little value in his own life. To Ogura, life has lost its meaning. It’s heavily implied that this is in large part due to the death of his 8-year-old son.

The only thing that he really talks about with any kind of enthusiasm are Ajin and his FK cigarettes. 

His fascination with Ajin could be, in part, a way to cope with his grief. Ajin defy death and the human spirit seems to play a large role in how they function. IBMs are invisible but can be seen if a strong emotion is present. Floods of IBMs are triggered by death along with an accompanying strong emotion. He states outright that life is meaningless, but his obsession with Ajin seems to come from a part of himself that doesn’t want to believe that.

Whether or not what Ogura says is true or not, it’s undoubtedly true that Ajin are inextricably linked with their own humanity. This is where Sakurai arrives at with the question of a demi-human’s humanity.

This ended up being wayyyy longer then intended but thoughts kept coming and coming. Hope I didn’t go off on too much of a tangent here. I will make another part with Kai, Tanaka and talk briefly about gore before and after volume 2. 

I think Miura is really good with coming up with concepts, but I think, personally, I’m glad that Sakurai was able to take those ideas and make them into what we have today.

#ajin #death talk #mentions of suicide #analysis #sorry this is so long........... #i may bump this later actually

[mallowstep]

tpons initial/reading thoughts

keeping my "liveblogging" in one place to maintain my mortorium on spoilers

tpons spoilers below the cut. obviously.

prologue

i swear to god if bramblestar comes back and i don't get squirrelstar i might actually seek out the collective representation of erin hunter and kill her

chapter one

bristlefrost.

bristlefrost, can you hear me [1].

jayfeather is under exactly the same stress as alderheart. so either you're implying alder is weak or you're in the "adoption isn't real" camp and i'm neutral on you as a character, i don't want to dislike you.

you know, i thought the scene in mtbnsof where all of thunderclan is like "yeah, let's just exile squirrelflight" [2] was exaggeration, and honestly i spent a long time workshopping it to make sure it felt natural, but apparently i didn't have to do that, because the characters are canonically OK with it!

do y'all want your leader back or bramblestar? (i'm not salty nope not me.) also twigbranch the fuck do you mean "it would be wonderful if bramblestar came back" like what he barely let you stay in thunderclan stfg.

fuck, i can't tell whether or not sparkpelt is denying lionblaze and jayfeather as squilf's kits, but they're really ruining my good faith in adoption. or just proving my point that it's not about adoption.

does thunderclan care about shadowsight? what is going on i swear did they forget he killed bramble and is responsible for the entire mess right now?

chapter two

shadowsight you did a bad of course they're not hiding how disappointed they are you did a bad my son

lmao it's the reverse of tawnypelt's clan [3], shadowsight is being kidnapped against his will for the tribe. also please can we go back to the tribe but only if it's good

he listed dovewing next to "clan leader" not "clan leader's mate" which implies dovewing has shc's respect which yes i stan

aww siblings being siblings. i miss that from po3. nothing has captured it as well. well, like, the sight.

chapter three

you know, i think part of why i've struggled so much with this arc is because i just don't like any of the pov characters. i don't dislike any of them but i don't like them.

yeah! tree defending rootspring!!!! fuck. good fathers in warriors.

so rootspring calls lionblaze TC deputy which means squirrelstar [4].

god they go, like, ages without caring whose parent is who and suddenly they're covering it all over again but like, in an adoption bad way, and just, fuck you erin hunter [5].

it's good to see lionblaze does care about her, fuck, can we just get some consistency here. (i mean god rootspring he lost his mom too --- i mean, if anyone should know this, your mom was violetshine, posterchild for bad adoption, who fought w twigbranch over adoptive mother shit)

i want a bernie meme like "i am once again asking for adoption to be treated like a legitmate form of family."

chapter four

wait why the fuck is bris faster than windclan their whole thing is being fast

also that moonkitti video about harestar having no personality[6] is painfully real i know nothing about this man

oh huh we were just talking about windclan camp[7]. this is actually pretty similar to the first ever description, right down to bris wondering how people sleep there (they don't.) well, uh, credit where credit is due, good job for sticking to your guns on windclan sleeps outside.

i love how crow and breeze being difficult is just common knowledge.

oh, so crowfeather gets credit for the three? fucking hell man i'm done.

also fuck you crowfeather for victim blaming i will be making a call out post so help me [8]

okay i'm ngl it feels like bris is crushing on lionblaze. i don't think that's supposed to be a thing [9], it just feels like that.

okay okay okay i'm confused in earlier books the great battle was like a well discussed thing. god, avos had that whole the names of the fallen thing. and now, not even a full generation later, and bris doesn't understand the dark forest? (also who's even in the dark forest?)

(oh wait this book is going to answer that. uh for the record, now, squirrelstar/mtbnsof has been fully plotted and will disregard whatever this book says, unless it's good.)

oh wow i guess we're just throwing out the concept of the moonpool why don't we. really, everything i heavily justified/couched in mtbnsof is happening unironically in canon.

mothwing and willowshine god fucking damn. they're prob my fav mentor/apprentice relationship. mistystar's omen stg.

what is it with everyone and bouncing all the fuck around with squirrelflight? like, okay, i'd get it if they doubted her because yeah, i could make a strong argument about clan morality and her actions [10]. but they're so on and off about it i hate it.

shadowsight.

shadowsight, can you hear me.

you're literally saying, "i could solve this, if i had a solution to the problem."

well ig we know who he takes after.

chapter five

what's up with this "darkest thoughts" bullshit come on you're really going to invalidate ivypool like that?

lionblaze really do be going back and forth. can't blame him he's not used to having a character.

also, i really love jayfeather standing up for alderheart [11].

mothwing wtf how're you getting to hell you don't believe in it. how do you have faith in shit. also please stop trashing shadowsight [12]. that said, she's absolutely right, she would be the ideal cat for the job, considering she has warrior training.

jayfeather what the fuck dude why are you suggesting it. although i'm glad at least he acknowledges his connection to squilf. good job. good job for being the one fucking character.

willowshine. willowshine baby no. don't do it. willowshine. willowshine no. don't do it. baby. no. please. i'm crying please don't do it.

"well, Mothwing, I admire everything about you" holy fucking shit what a line that's a line to inspire so much fic [13].

willow please baby no. please. send kestrelwing or something. puddleshine. anyone but you please baby.

damn okay what is with the connection between mothwing and.

no.

no no no no no.

they're killing willowshine.

why.

she's. baby. please no. she's not read. she's too. no. i can't.

ffs moth please stop dissing shadow like this he doesn't deserve this. (also, unrelated, did, uh, did puddleshine name shadowsight for spiresight, a cat he never met and had no connection with? fuck i forgot what happened there.)

you know, out of the med cats, mothwing and jayfeather are the oldest. it's nice to see that dynamic have weight: when jayfeather speaks, people listen. it's been a while since we've had that role of the med cats in thunderclan.

god willow is dead and i'm going to sob.

chapter six

I FUCKING CALLED IT I HATE EVERYTHING

why did they have kill my baby [14]

when did rootspring get fucking responsible this is worse than when i got responsible

also mothwing i'm so sorry.

fuck.

i didn't cry i was too angry and i cried about it last night because i knew it was coming just.

they didn't have to do her dirty like that.

chapter seven

just, before we begin, still sad about this willowshine bs. give me back my baby.

oh gee bristlefrost i wonder why lionblaze can't talk about his mother being taken away

does this mean they're going to acknowledge adoption again? please let this not be me raising my hopes too soon.

also really with all this lionblaze = deputy stuff...i just want squils [15]

oh lionblaze is back on his bullshit again. like, dude. he was instructed to treat ashfur. he was ordered. jesu maria.

uh. spotfur. what the fuck?

okay, first of all, squilf was chosen as deputy, so yes, she does in fact inherit leadership. that's...that's just wrong.

if you want to complain about lionblaze, sure, i hate it as much as you [16]. but squilf?

yes, yes, please give me ivystar [17]. if i can't have squilfstar (and i don't think i can, hence the existence of mtbnsof [18]), please let me have ivypool. (although mousewhisker? who said that lmfao.)

uh, lionblaze? there are so many better choices. i think bristlefrost would do a better job. (that's not an idea please don't give me bristlestar.)

ayyyyy! graystripe! what a man. what a time.

(graystripe and his gd dramatic entrances.)

also it's good to see elders getting the respect they deserve. (wait what what what the fuck happened to him.)

hehe (mtbnsof spoilers) i'm glad at some level that like, i identified key things that need to happen to make the story interesting and compelling, and they're happening. tbc really is picking up with the good writing. i have a lot of thoughts about this, but mostly, like, these books have changed since when i started them, but i'm happy with where they got. also, lmao i'm dying because like, yeah fuck i don't even know, i can't believe both the worst and best parts of mtbnsof have made it into this. god. what a world.

oh thank god lionblaze is stepping down.

hey, uh...is anyone going to follow up with what graystripe was doing? this is getting sus i can't take another thing i just need to trust someone.

chapter eight

i'm still not over willowshine

i. can people decide if dark forest is punishment or. wasn't lionblaze against sending shadowsight? i can't remember shit i should be taking useful notes i have a memory problem xd

aww dovewing mom.

you know i have a quick q: in skyclan & the stranger, leafstar's kits call her mama. but i don't think we've seen any adult cats say that. what's up w that?

oh dovewing i love you but...nah i just love you

that said, uh, can shadowsight's behavior be treated consistently? i don't know something is just bothering me.

oh yeah icewing exists lmao. forgot about that. can this continue like can shadowclan be the new home for wayward souls? they kind of deserve it after all of the villains they've had. and the earliest books kind of implied shadowclan used to do that.

i really, like, okay. cats like icewing are all "durr hurr dark forest very bad" and then others are like "bruh hell is real?"

uh. nope. i hate this implication that the dark forst is poisonous. very bad very bad very bad.

aww tigerstr being a good dad. breaking the cycle. first one [19].

i really, like, why do cats blame shadowsight? he wanted to go? he wanted to be the one? like, wtf?

urgh who wants to be warriorcatsfandommisandry [20] would praise shadow's rule breaking while victim-blaming squilf for the same behavior.

well, uh, ig i'm glad mothwing secretly cares about shadowsight? like, that's kind of fixing her character. kind of.

chapter nine

wow this post is getting long whoops i mean it is all of my notes on a book. usually i condense em into the good stuff.

lmao shadowsight b like "yeah if i die sorry my dad's gonna kill u luv u thanks for coming >3"

seriously mothwing was definitely the cat to choose considering she could 100% fight. also, like, his body is at risk?

you know, i think mothwing is supposed to be having a jayfeather arc here, but it's crippled by the fact that we're not in her head [21].

how many cats are even in the dark forest wasn't this the whole plot of oots that they're all dead?

also, like, i'm glad mothwing is back to herself. i don't even care about the inconsistency i'm happy to have mothwing back.

seriously it's starting to get to me that the knowledge of the great battle is so inconsistent.

okay i like that we've ditched the "darkest thoughts" thing that was kind of stupid

squirrelflight

(i am crying she's here again fuck)

chapter ten

okay yeah valid gotta maintain that tension (altho fuck you erin hunter [5])

huh. i still kinda hate rootspring for basically no reason ngl

you know, i've never questioned this, but how the fuck does moss ball work? moss doesn't work like that god no no no i can't over think it [22].

you know, forbidden romance might be "overdone" but it's worth pointing out that we very rarely get the perspective of the cats in the forbidden romance

lmao what is it with greystripe? like? is everyone in love with him? i'm not being fair to him just...what?

emotional support wife dovewing [23]

i really wish there was a deeper bond between bris, rootspring, and shadow. i appreciate the viewpoints into different clans, but with no meaningful differences in culture, it's just weird because we're used to po3 and avos and stuff where our leads are really close to each other.

willow

willow baby

you know it's occurred to me i've never vocalized my love for willowshine on this blog before now? xd see i don't actually talk about my favorite characters that much. i talk about dovewing the most out of my top 3 (dovewing, jayfeather, willowshine, in no particular order), but they just kind of feel...too personal? because i have really specific reasons to connect with all of them.

dovewing just happens to be for reasons i'm most able to share >3

willow please don't be corrupted

chapter eleven

please i just want to know squilf is okay

bris u fucking idiot we've established the moonpool is deep. don't you remember literally yesterday?

flametail imagery

"drypaws" what a word. interesting ik leopardstar just avoided water, but here bris can't swim. i don't care i'm just happy for some gd culture

okay i've said it before and i've said it again: i draw the line at cat cpr

wait what is daisy doing? fuck was i supposed to read the novellas first? is this what daisy's kin is about? when did daisy leave? did i miss something? what's going on??

okay can we...like, cats who aren't elders trained in the dark forest. this wasn't even a full generation ago. lionblaze. breezepelt. just...guys.

tigerdove...so cute. i love them [23].

where tf are the sisters they got here so fast

like bruh...i liked the sisters but now they're like, clan on demand ghost summoners? i think? idk clearly i'm missing something very important

emotional support wife dovewing

chapter twelve

i see shadowsight and i don't see squirrelflight and i have a complaint

oh uhhh who's snowtuft again?

also i feel like, i feel like i made my point about it being empty

a light in the mist title drop dodoododod

bruh what is ashfur even

oh series one cat xd yeah that checks

look. if they're not in the allegiances, i don't remember them for shit, okay? my series one memory is excellent, it's just that series one cared about thunderclan, and, like, tallstar

squilf squilf squilf squilf squilf if she's not in this chapter i'm going to scream it is 2am bitch

I AM SCREAMING BITCH

chapter thirteen

the scream lengthens

just give me her

at least i get to spend time with willowshine?

wait mapleshade is still alive? i thought someone killed her oop

also uh yeah how did ashfur amass power like, that bitch is an incel he's done nothing but fail to kill three cats and get murdered and go to heaven

are there even enough dark forest cats for that?

rootspring this is a bad idea don't do this haven't you seen horror movies stop being the white chick

sad ghosts r sad sigh

chapter fourteen

when did warriors get all "oh no can't do multiple chapters of the same narrator in a row" please nobody fucking cares that bris is sad i just want to see squirrelflight

lmao bris like "it's illegal to be atheist" bitch i read code of the clans exactly once i know it's dovestar who tried that and the answer was no.

ah, tree. actually mediating, for once.

god, bris...why is firestar's legacy so large? like, fuck, i know why, i just...

also, tree, she said a nobel and true Clan, not the clan. so like, maybe chill out for a moment [24].

hnnnng family drama also i really like that tree loves his wife very good very good

dfskj okay mothwing missing riverclan would be much more impactful if we actually knew what was going on in riverclan. (like, say, if willowshine was a pov in this arc [25]?) also, you know, riverclan has had so many problems with treating cats badly? god, a shadow in riverclan. wait, like, shouldn't mothwing also remember/reflect on this? wait this would be so much better if we had more pov for this fuck

also fuck off bris about being proud you are so fucking priviledged your forbidded romance drama is as intense as like, idek, the notebook? from someone who lived through, uh, forbidded romance that involved threatening to send someone to conversion camp [26], fuck off

bruh. why is she acting like thunderclan is gone xd you have no idea what it's like for a clan to almost fall apart yeah i stand by my comments on shadow/skyclan.

"what will my place be?" it will be a fucking warrior of thunderclan??? all you've ever wanted???? god she's...look i get it she's like, my age. and lord knows i don't react gracefully to shit. she's stressed, i get it. i do. but also, just, ffs bris. get it together.

"you die in the dark forest, you die in real life" can we meme that?

oooh okay it would be really good to get all three pov cats in the dark forest [27].

also, how long has rootspring been down there? how does this work? what's up with shadowsight? what is anything even? how long has it been?

thank you mothwing for pointing out bristlefrost is extremely unexperienced.

also can i just say, i really like bris' name? like i think bristlefrost is an extremely cute and good name. cute in that it's cute and good in that it conveys her character well.

god i want mothwing pov on this [25].

why is bris so convinced that if she doesn't act, rootspring isn't coming back?

chapter fifteen

wow i had a lot of notes on last chapter huuuh

oh vibe do i finally get squilf

stopping caring about bramble shadow no one fucking cares

seriously when did ashfur get this, uh, good at being a villain?

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

she's

here

fuck i'm crying

poor bb i just. poor baby.

okay. ashfur. let me making something clear.

i do not understand why in the world squilf would ever choose bramble [28]. but you're fucked as a choice.

ffs yellowfang this is why we don't say "his only crime was loving too much"

okay well as much as i'm confused by his power his characterization here is fantastic. i'm really glad we got ashfur back as a villain, you know.

good job squirrelflight. do not take unnecessary blame.

(also please learn to transfer these skills to your pos husband.)

#when you can't get her to love you by killing her husband and dragging her into hell so you think you can make her love you by showing her how you're torturing the souls of her loved ones

you know i had the snowtuft thing spoiled for me i just forgot who snowtuft was so it had 0 impact

damn bramblestar is still alive.

dammit.

people kept calling lionblaze deputy don't do that to me if you're not following through on it ffs

okay not to pimp out my own fic but if you're interested in a squirrelstar au, "may there be no sadness of farewell" is my squils (squirrelstar) au and it does have an imposter arc. so you know. if that's your thing.

hnng my thoughts on bramble [29] aside i can appreciate the drama

ashfur. ashfur. ashfur you fucking idiot you're the one fighting her. also fuuuck i love this character. if i was bookmarking this on ao3 you know it'd get the "hot damn" tag.

huh. uh, wow. good chapter. hot damn. loved it. loved it so much.

hate what it means for my hopes and dreams, but very good. very intense. i approve.

chapter sixteen

eh, wasn't she going to the dark forest? did i forget something?

ohhh dream

huh this is interesting

and cute.

i love the "everything is fine" trope so much tho

does...did no one ever describe ashfur to bris?

you know, i think this is why so many people, me included, go with the we-don't-talk-about-our-villains thing. sure, it makes some bits awkward, but...yeesh

huh. weird chapter. both impactful and kinda meh.

chapter seventeen

you know i'm feeling a lot of things right now, and i might have to just give in and finish this damn thing.

we'll see.

willow willow willow willow willow

sigh ffuuuck she's dead. i'm sad. i'm going to write a fic about her. "under a willow tree" i have plans. it's going to be good.

yeah see okay. i made a joke about warriors needing to make not talking about shit part of the culture and i'm glad they did because it works

squilf!!!!!!!!!

oh fuck i'm crying again. my girl. she's here. she's here.

of course they saved you!!!!!! you're!!!!! squilf!!!!!!

please get nine lives.

please.

let the body be dead.

let bramble die.

please.

chapter eighteen

okay seriously i really want to memify "if you die in the dark forest, you die in real life"

oh rip shadow's ear. that sucks. huh. i'm gonna have to explore this, too. esp. w dovewing.

eeeeee mothwing being mothwing again i'm happy

willow

mothwing stick to ur guns for a moment

also i appreciate the "u can't tell me what to do i'm a med cat" thing going on

hehe tigerdad (where's dovewing my beloved)

chapter nineteen

wow okay i'm 3/4 of the way through

dammit rip squilf something something exploring some canon complient stuff.

huh, shadowsight. do you think maybe. being in the dark forest. is bad. do you think. maybe.

bruh shadow way to go call out your own father smh.

mothwing, my dear, you're the one who didn't want to treat him like that. i mean i'm glad you're standing up for him but this kind of makes your whole treatment of him feel like a plot device.

okay, i'm glad that's a formal thing, med cats > leaders, that makes me happy

i really want to know what alderheart is up to.

yeah really why have they waited so long. i mean i forgot about them too but the sisters seem like an obvious choice? since they're here?

(also i'm still really confused by the daisy thing.)

heh i really do need to read squilf's hope. i've been putting it off (i don't want to read cft, but...), but i think it's about time.

rootspring what? okay going to read it now ig

okay okay i'm really glad the sisters are like fuck we're done w y'all cause that's been a long time coming

what debt where the sisters in to the clans XD???

chapter twenty one

"moonpond"xxd i'm dying

awww tigerdad

don't the sisters know the basics of herbal healthcare?

poor tigerstar. no no guys. his wife was in a dangerous prophecy, and now his son is. :(

tigerdad!!!!!!!

ohhh this chapter hit hard

chapter twenty two

"the sign of a true leader" is...talking fast?

dfsjadfskj rootspring you are lead by leafstar the best and most capable leader the fuck are you talking about

:((((((((( brambles........alive

is squirrelstar so much to ask for

y'all're lucky i was going to release "ilex aquafolium" tonight as a follow-up to "better left unsaid" because freyja (my cat) chose it to be next in the rotation but i might end up finishing chapter three of "may there be no sadness of farewell" first because coping

chapter twenty three

you know writing that chapter did not take me better i forgot mtbnsof is angst until like...the epilogue

heyyy they're back....i'm.....soo....happy...about......this [30]

i mean i feel like every one is way too trusting how do u know it's the real squilf?

shadowsight bris rootspring polycule? just a thought

oh. so that's it, then.

you know, i enjoyed it.

citation: a moonkitti video ↩︎

see here to read it, but...you could probably get it in canon ↩︎

legally i have to tell you i haven't actually read this yet ↩︎

please let me have this. ↩︎

where "erin hunter" refers to the collective who writes warriors ↩︎ ↩︎

it's called "leader chance" if you're interested ↩︎

okay, techincally i was talking about riverclan dens, but it's close. ↩︎

for my own personal reference, pg 50 on phone. about 19% ↩︎

warrior cats still hasn't invented cheating. also, no, i'm not going overboard on the footnotes. ↩︎

nts, do this. or add on to like "daughter of mine" or "secrets passed over in the dead of night" ↩︎

gives more weight to sunset and evening star. ↩︎

although also guys it's not that out of character for her. like, she's always been quick to do what she thinks is right, and this time, it's the wrong thing. you know? ↩︎

including my own fuck. ↩︎

spoilers for mtbnsof. i mean i know i killed willow for exactly the same reason but...why'd they have to lift all of my least favorite parts of squilfstar. ↩︎

squilf but for squirrelstar. coined in my drafting notes for mtbnsof ↩︎

to be clear, he's wrong, i just wouldn't bother arguing because it's annoying having lionblaze as clan leader. ↩︎

nts: do something with this. mtbnsof spoilers. even if i don't end up going through to squils death, i want to do something with ivystar, preferably before the entire clan is ocs. ↩︎

in case you're new here, my ao3 is mallowstep and mtbnsof stands for may there be no sadness of farewell, a squirrelstar au that begins at the end of lost stars. ↩︎

"love knows no bounds (but maybe it should)" (unannounced) spoilers. ...i say, knowing about how he's, uh, not in lknb. ↩︎

hopefully, i'm speaking ill of the dead and not summoning the devil. hopefully. ↩︎

yes of course i will now be writing that thank you for calling me out. we will also be exploring her relationship with religion. title? unsure, but we might reuse "i'll believe the wind is calling me" since that has been scrapped and salvaged ↩︎

only valid kit play scene is now the one at the beginning of the sight. ↩︎

no tigerdove discourse please. i'm not in the mood for it. play nice. ↩︎ ↩︎

although to be clear, the only actually noble and true clans, at least time of this book, are shadowclan and skyclan. ↩︎

nts - "under a willow tree" ↩︎ ↩︎

oh. so that's why i don't like her. ↩︎

it triples my odds of seeing squilf. ↩︎

i do. i really, really do. but until the erins acknowledge it, i try to ignore it in canon. otherwise i get too sad. ↩︎

as mentioned before, when i'm interacting with canon, my standards are a lot lower. because i like to enjoy the stories. that's why i write fix-it fic. ↩︎

i'm crying ↩︎

#mine #txt #6th #April #2021 #April 6th 2021 #7th #April 7th 2021 #8th #April 8th 2021 #9th #April 9th 2021 #10th #April 10th 2021 #11th #April 11th 2021 #12th #April 12th 2021 #13th #April 13th 2021 #tpons #talk #tpons spoilers

[bigskydreaming]

Height discourse confuses me so much, because I, a 4'9 21-year-old Asian perceives anyone taller as tall. But reading international posts saying 5'6 is small makes me double-take, like, "Wut?"

LOL, ahh yes, the infamous “How Tall IS Dick Grayson Actually” discourse. I feel you. And I can definitely see how it would be bemusing as hell given your perspective, lmao.

And I mean, its definitely up there on the list of “Things I Can’t Believe There’s Actually Discourse About” buuuuuut I’m not really judging because I know damn well there’s a fuckton of shit I’ve Discoursed about on pretty much everyone else’s “Things I Can’t Believe There’s Actually Discourse About” list. 

*Shrugs* But I also do get why it exists, if you scratch beneath the surface - as is often true of a lot of seemingly inane discourses. Its not really about height so much as it is about the why’s of writers specifying certain heights for him, and stereotypes associated with height.

On the one hand, you’ve got the fans who look at writers who make a point of writing Dick as particularly short, or the shortest of the Batfam once all of them are adults, and think: this is because of fandom’s fixation with writing Dick as effeminate or the least ‘manly’ of the Batfam, and thus I dislike it and do not trust this writer’s take on him.

Then on the other hand, you have the fans who look at objections like this and think: this is because of bullshit fostered by the toxic masculinity and sexism that’s so present in society, even women can be guilty of perpetuating the idea that there’s anything TO object about there, that a man being effeminate or less ‘manly’ than his brothers is some kind of insult or slight against him in the first place.

But then go back to the first hand.....

And on the one hand, of those fans, you’ve got the fans that don’t actually think there’s anything insulting about a man being effeminate or less manly themselves, but given that the bullshit fostered by the toxic masculinity and sexism in society is so everpresent, even women can be guilty of perpetuating the idea that ‘shorter = weaker’ etc, etc.......its not him being written as short that’s objectionable to them, its what they believe the writer is implying by making that distinction that they’re objecting to, like that it reads to them as though its being used as a smokescreen to create associations in readers’ minds, with the idea of him being weaker or softer or whatever the fuck compared to his brothers, without those writers actually having to SAY what they’re getting at there and spell it out. Plausible deniability kinda thing.

And then on the other hand, you have those fans who object to writing Dick as short because they actually DO buy into that bullshit and they ARE simply objecting to the idea itself because of toxic masculinity and sexism and etc etc.

But then go back to the original second hand.....

And on the one hand THERE, you have the fans whose responses to people objecting about writing Dick as short are based on exactly what they say they are......pointing out that its only objectionable if its viewed as insulting and the only reasons its viewed as insulting are toxic masculinity and sexism which they’re calling out as being perpetuated here.

And on the other hand there, you have those fans who DO buy into the associations between ‘shorter = weaker’ and actually ARE writing things that way with the intent of hoping to form that association in the minds of any readers who similarly buy into those lines of thought or are susceptible to it......and are simply using ‘arent you the REAL misogynist here for thinking shorter equals more feminine which equals weaker or frail or whatever’ arguments that are simply typical flipping the script tactics and hiding behind buzzwords they don’t actually believe in themselves but know are effective in getting people to back down, etc, etc. The plausible deniability thing.

And I’ve been out of hands here for awhile now, obviously, but you get what I mean. Round and round and round it goes, with the true point always hidden juuuuuuust beneath the surface, and more than a little tedious to have all unpacked and catalogued like here, which is a major factor in why so many people rarely dig beneath the surface of a seemingly inane discourse to get at what people are REALLY arguing about but nobody wants to ‘lose ground on’ by being the first to admit to.

As for me, again, this really isn’t a dicourse that I spend much time on because I’d rather cut straight to the point of an argument in general, and this isn’t an discourse that’s particularly amenable to people doing that, obviously. 

And also, I honestly just don’t care that much. LOL. Yeah, I often read works where Dick is singled out as being distinctively shorter and feel an author is trying to ‘imply’ something and its the implications of that which are the source of any ‘Not Good, Scoob’ feelings rather than because I agree with what’s trying to be implied. But y’know......when an author IS playing that game and they actually do buy into toxic and sexist stereotypes.....I mean, there’s literally always other indications of this in their work, giving them away all over the place. So there’s honestly never really a time when his height itself is actually what that hinges upon, y’know?

So my big takeaway from all of this is: headcanon and write Dick as whatever damn height you feel like and if you want to imply something about him just fucking say it directly and if you want to accuse someone of something just fucking call it out directly.

*points to the above unpacking of this particular discourse and how fucking tedious and unnecessary so much of it is and all just because people won’t just say what they actually came to say or lay claim to what they actually said*

ANYWAY.

Personally, regardless of how Dick is written in a fic, I will always headcanon him as somewhere between 5′10″ and 6′1″ for reasons that are entirely irrelevant and meaningless to anyone but me, pretty much. LOL.

In my head, Dick obviously has to be that height because he’s walked a runway as a model before. That’s it. That’s the whole reason my mind automatically goes to that span when picturing him or reading something about him.

(As most people who have followed me for a bit know, I spent a number of years working in the TV industry. There were a couple years there where I did a little bit of print modeling too, nothing major at all, but enough to know that the fashion industry has a Very Definitive Thing about male runway models and height: If you are a male runway model, you are between 5′10″ and 6′1″. If you are not between 5′10″ and 6′1″, you are not a male runway model and you never will be. Its a Thing. And not one the industry is shy about. 

Because of the fact that the fashion industry is mostly centered around women models with name recognition, and very few men who model have star power specifically in terms of modeling, rather than because of crossover/overlap with acting, there’s a major difference in how designers tend to approach designing for models. Most designers designing runway looks for women do so with specific models already in mind. Most designers designing runway looks for men do so without specific models in mind because there simply aren’t enough male models with the kind of branding/name recognition that does a designer any good. 

So designers literally JUST design runway looks for men in that height range, and anyone outside that range would require tailoring that could feasibly throw off an entire runway look. So they just don’t do it, to the point that an agent or manager sending them someone outside that height range to consider for a job means that agent’s not getting called back, because they just gave themselves away as a clear amateur by not knowing better.

Of course, keep in mind that my experiences with modeling are based on the industry re: ten years ago, so it could be that things have changed in this regard since. But that was the status quo then.)

So yeah. Dick Grayson walked a runway for Cheyenne Freemont, thus in my mind he’s obviously between 5′10″ and 6′1″ lolol, because any up and coming designer trying to make a name for herself would absolutely know better than to send out someone shorter than that and still think anyone in the industry would take her seriously.

LOL. I told you it was inane. But in my defense, plenty of people headcanon that Dick HAS to be small because he’s a gymnast, and uh.....that is not how that works. Anyone can be an amazing gymnast, its just that smaller body types lend themselves to gymnastics better than bigger, bulkier bodies. And thus the competition oriented gymnastics SPORT heavily favors cultivating and training gymnasts on the smaller side, because coaches and endorsers are looking for literally any advantage possible.

(Being shorter means you have a lower center of gravity which is a help when balancing, or stabilizing yourself. Its easier for a shorter gymnast to keep their balance or to stick a landing. But it doesn’t become impossible just because someone’s hit six feet tall. It HELPS to be shorter. It doesn’t determine whether or not you can do a trick at all, much like being short and having a lower center of gravity by no means GUARANTEES you have good balance.)

And of course, though Dick excels at a ton of gymnastics, he is not and never has been a gymnast per se....he’s an acrobat. From a family of acrobats. Who have been doing this as a family business generationally, thus.....why would they have future height requirements when training their son in the family business? And being from a family of acrobats doesn’t ensure you’re going to be short, if your family members are not already short to begin with. Evolution does not give a fuck about future employment opportunities when selecting which gene sequences to flip on while in utero.

The correlation is ‘most gymnasts who excel at gymnastics feats are small,’ not ‘to excel at gymastic feats, you must be small.’

I am absolutely and completely just rambling now and have been for awhile so I’m gonna go beat up my insomnia until it caves and lets me go the fuck to sleep.

[laws-yellow-submarine]

First: please Skylar for the tag your OCs name ask :3 and second: I love your writing and your hcs! And third: you're awesome!!!!

no YOU’RE AWESOME!! lol thank you!! And thank you for showing interest in my brain child! (I did click the thing to put in a “read more” I hope it actually works lmfao)

Full Name: Valentine Skylar

Gender and Sexuality: Female, Bisexual (disaster)

Pronouns: She/Her

Ethnicity/Species: Human, and like, she’s pale af...

Birthplace and Birthdate: Capita Noir (island), December 17th

Guilty Pleasures: Singing at the top of her lungs all through the submarine (typically while she’s cooking or cleaning lol luckily she’s good at it, so most of the crew actually enjoys it...except Law who’s a grumpy grump, but he secretly enjoys it and would miss it if it weren’t there lol)

Phobias: The dark, spiders, not being able to live her life how she sees fit (less of a “phobia” and more of a general fear)

What They Would Be Famous For: In a modern setting? Probably for being a famous singing sensation of some kind (either pop, rock, or folk genres if I had to guess, she has the range). In OP she’s probably gonna be famous for being involved with one of the Heart Pirates’ shenanigans, I just haven’t figured out what yet lol she manages to avoid detection for the most part though due to her devil fruit, so it’s hard to say

What They Would Get Arrested For: Stealing; I wouldn’t say she’s like Nami level of thievery, but she’s pretty good at it lol stealing and espionage

OC You Ship Them With: I mean...she and Hazel would probably hit it off lol but even then, Hazel’s more likely to try and adopt her as another younger sibling than anything else (which is funny because they’re the same age). Other OC shipping option would be Mimi, who’s literally her ex so...yeah lol (and just because I can put it here, the character I ship her with, if it wasn’t painfully obvious, is Law lol)

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Her mother, Valentine Quince :)

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: YA Fantasy/Romance/Things

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Not sure actually if this is asking for cliches (phrases) or tropes, so I’ll do both I guess? (Just cause cliches can be used in anything not just books and movies lol) “She’s a chip off the old block”; When it’s raining and the male love interest has to give the female love interest his clothes so she’ll stay warm and he’s all “I’ll be alright/You need it more than me” (Honestly anything involving wearing the other’s clothes and it leaves the other one half naked in a way that implies it’s due to person #1’s incompetence OR need to cover up because uwu boobs)

Talents and/or Powers: Devil Fruit powers that let her manipulate light particles so she can A. Camouflage/turn invisible, B. Create force fields, and C. Create an object out of “hardened” light for various uses (each of these is like, an increase in how much stamina it uses though)

Why Someone Might Love Them: She cares...so much lol like to the point it’s often detrimental to herself, but she just wants the people around her to be safe and happy. She notices things about the people around her and is able to anticipate someone’s needs before they ask for it (sometimes before they even realized they needed it). Also, she’s a lovable dork lol her jokes are bad but her heart is big, and you can’t go wrong with that lmao

Why Someone Might Hate Them: She’s so fucking dumb lmao like, ok she’s not stupid, but she fluctuates between making super rash, impulsive decisions that could get her or others killed (but objectively MAY be the right thing to do if she’d just put some thought into it), and just...not making a decision at all, to the point where it’s very frustrating trying to figure out what she wants, especially since often she doesn’t know herself

How They Change: As she sees the world, learns about the people she’s travelling with and the various people and places that exist outside of the little island she called home, she eventually stops being so timid on making decisions for herself, and learns to not be so scared to put her foot down and defend those decisions. At the beginning, even the impulsive ones are met with, at the very least, scolding and anxiety about whether it was the right decision. She eventually figures out you can’t change the past, so decide what you want to do and don’t waver, even if others don’t get it. (Basically my goal is to take her from “oh shit I shouldn’t have done that everyone hates me now” to “Damn right I did that thing and I don’t give a fuck if you hate me now, I stand by my decision!”)

Why You Love Them: Skylar’s my baby lmao I’ve been working and reworking and re-reworking her character for well over a year now, which is partly why I think I haven’t written more than the first chapter of her fic (I’m scared I won’t be able to make it as good on paper as it is in my head lol). She embodies a lot of my insecurities from when I was younger, from issues with sexuality to just finding that balance between putting yourself first vs putting others first. She goes through a lot of growth and change throughout her whole story, and she grows up so much while figuring out who she is, and it’s exciting for me to write, but it’s also terrifying both because I worry I won’t be able to portray it the way it should be portrayed, and also because it IS laying a lot of my soul to bear for strangers on the internet to judge (Though granted, they’re older demons now that I no longer deal with as heavily, but at one point they were very close to me lol). She got probably the worst aspects of my personality, and I can only hope that I’ve also instilled the good, at least enough that others can see it too (This ended up getting deep and philosophical whoops lmfao)

#valentine skylar #one piece oc #one piece original character #one piece fan fiction #one piece fan fic #OC stuff lolol #i love my brain children very much

[manchestereyes]

I just think that people in this fandom got too spoiled from last year. this is probably the normal about of dan tweets / Dan and Phil interaction on social media. It's just last year they started doing insta stories and they were on tour together. They're also still on holiday, and probably don't feel obligated to be on social media 24/7.

oh yeah last year was pretty damn overwhelming in terms of content! like if i were just coming into the phandom now i wouldn’t know where to start lol. but yeppp they always take an extended break in january, i think it just feels a lot longer this year since we’re used to having at least a couple gaming vids by this time. i wouldn’t expect anything from them until monday at the earliest, maybe even the week after since who the hell knows how long phil’s royal tour is going on hahaha 

honestly after last year they deserve a social media break more than anything! i mean poor phil was so burnt out that he ended up fainting back in november and i wouldn’t at all be surprised if dan’s been feeling that burnout too. tbh they both pretty heavily implied it when they said the dapg hiatus was mainly for them to regain their creative flow or whatever (it’s midnight, i’m not gonna bother looking up the liveshow lmao) and figure out where the channel is going. that takes a lot of thinking and planning and quite a bit of mental energy.

i mean they even said when they started insta stories that they probably wouldn’t post much if they’re just having a homey day. and we all know their januaries include an above average amount of homey days. so unfortunately we’re not gonna get much unless there’s something they feel like they need to share with us. but at least that just means they’re (ideally) enjoying that recuperating time while they have it and tbh good for them! they’ve certainly earned it anyway :)

#answered #Anonymous #talking about this kinda thing makes me really wanna jump back in on idb #but i'm still slightly scared of posting lol #maybe one day soon though!

[theraistlinmajere]

THE “”GOTHIC”” REC LIST

Edited for my own use.

LET’S START WITH THE GATEWAY DRUG BOOK

1. Flowers in the Attic (VC Andrews): Published in 1979 and technically considered contemporary Gothic. The style closely resembles a lot of “original” Gothic fiction I’ve read, but the themes, story arc and style are distinctly contemporary and very psychological. Gets a bad rap because it’s over the top insane and averagely written (which most Gothic is, tbh). Flowers is light reading, and I think it’s a good gateway drug into heavier Gothic. Has several sequels but stands alone as well. I wish I could call this Victorian-inspired Gothic but honestly it’s just knockoff Victorian in a contemporary setting. If you don’t enjoy this book, it probably means you don’t like the over the top insanity and average writing. Skip it if you like!

1.5. But if you do like it, I hear My Sweet Audrina is pretty good. All of VC Andrews and her ghostwriters are like a hellhole people sometimes don’t escape tbh it’s a raging aesthetic disaster down there.

Note: I have a strong suspicion that “contemporary” Gothic published between 1965 and 1989 will eventually have its own movement name; you will see a decent amount of it on this list.

THE VICTORIAN GOTHIC PART OF THE LIST Most of these are available for free online due to copyright law being born late or whatever. 2. Carmilla (Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu): Considered the first English vampire story (Germans invented the European vampire allegedly), and published in 187…9? 1871? Something like that. A novella. Arguably a same-sex romance (VERY arguably), but can also be read as a close friendship. The writing is good, but not the absolute greatest I’ve ever read. The real strong point here is the imagery and the dawn of the English vampire. Great Halloween read; I read it almost every autumn. 3. “The Trifecta,” according to Gothic fans: Dracula (Bram Stoker), Frankenstein (Shelley), and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (Swift & Stevenson): First mainstream vampire, original English monster movie fuel, and the dawn of psychological fiction. Shelley’s the best writer out of all of them but she’s a Romantic and I’m sort of biased against Romantics. She’s a precursor to true Victorian Gothic. Dracula is still one of the creepiest books I’ve ever read and it’s the only one in the trifecta I really really love (and finished).

Note: If, by any chance, you find yourself seriously obsessed with vampires at any point in time, please consult me for an extended list of vampire fiction because I have a shit-ton of it in my reading history and left most of it out so vampires wouldn’t clutter this list lmao.

4. Edgar Allan Poe, Completed Works. The Cask of Amontillado, The Masque of the Red Death, The Pit and the Pendulum, and The Tell-Tale Heart are all notable. His poetry is lovely–Annabelle Lee and The Raven are most culturally significant. Just solid and wonderful work that I like a lot but haven’t explored in a lot of detail. Will appeal to your interest in darkness imagery.

5. The Legend of Sleepy Hollow and Other Stories (Washington Irving): QUINTESSENTIAL HALLOWEEN READING. SPOOPY. WONDERFUL. I truly love this anthology. Will also appeal to your interest in darkness as a concept and a physical thing. 6. Nightmare Abbey (Thomas Love Peacock): an 1818 novel that makes fun of the Victorian Gothic movement. Hilarious, contains all the typical Victorian Gothic tropes and has the added benefit of actually falling into the Victorian Gothic movement ironically. Usually comes packaged with another novel called Crotchet Castle which is similar. 7. If, somehow, you haven’t had it with Victorian Gothic yet (and I got to this point, it happens, Victorian Gothic is a slippery slope)… Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell (Susanna Clarke): A really bizarre story behind how this was published, at least it is to me. Published in 2004, Over 10 years in the making and is written in the Victorian Gothic style but with a quirky and modern twist. The writer takes a page out of contemporary social commentary and includes pages-long footnotes, heads up (they’re funny and entertaining though). HUGE. You could kill a man with this volume. Excellent writing; I’m halfway through. I hear there’s time travel (?) and there are about ten thousand characters. Neil Gaiman is a fan. 8. The Phantom of the Opera (Gaston Leroux) is not technically Victorian (Technically Edwardian? Also French; I’m not familiar with French literary eras) but of course it has a huge following. I’ve read a little so far; I like the style and I think it’s culturally significant. You might want to read this because it’s heavily inspired by a French opera house, the Palais Garnier in Paris. Amber tells me she read literature in French to help sharpen her skills in the language; you may consider picking up an un-translated version of this? A BRIEF INTERLUDE FOR MORE CONTEMPORARY 9. Interview with the Vampire (Anne Rice): One of my favorite books of all time! Possibly the dawn of the romanticized vampire. Falls into that 70s contemporary Gothic bracket and is pretty amazingly written, but markedly more angst-ridden than anything else on the list (save for maybe Flowers). Lots of “what is evil?” and “what does immortality imply?” type speculation. Also gets a bad rap because Anne Rice made it big and haters are rife tbh it’s a very solidly built book in my opinion (BUT SUPER EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES). If you like this, continue with The Vampire Chronicles (The Vampire Lestat, Queen of the Damned, Prince Lestat, and about 8 others in between that concern minor characters). Lestat is one of my favorite fictional characters of all time. 10. Coraline (Neil Gaiman): Quick, cute, I found myself actually afraid for a little while despite the audience being middle grade readers?? I enjoyed it. The only Neil Gaiman on the list because his other work doesn’t impress me very much. 11. The Spiderwick Chronicles (Holly Black and Tony Diterlizzi): More middle-grade creepy aesthetic stuff. Cute modern fantasy stories, five volumes. I can read these books at twenty years old and still enjoy them (like Coraline)! The only good thing Holly Black has ever produced, in my opinion, though many people like her and her ~aesthetic.

11.5. Should you find yourself in the mood for more quick middle-grade aesthetic-y stuff, Pure Dead Magic (Debi Gliori) is really an adorable book with two sequels. Victorian Gothic tropes such as the creepy mansion, creatures in the dungeon, family drama, and Weird Newcomers are all present, but it’s set in modern times. One of the main characters is a hacker. Addams family-esque.

THE SURREAL-ISH FICTION PART OF THE LIST

Not true surreal fiction; these are contemporary surreal-inspired works. 12. The Bloody Chamber (Angela Carter): An anthology of short stories which retell fairy tales. Falls into the contemporary surrealism movement and is not traditionally considered Gothic, but this is definitely your aesthetic. Very quick read, very vivid imagery, lots of second-wave feminism and some brief eating disorder symbolism. Carter was a phenomenal writer! My favorite story is “The Lady of the House of Love"

12.5 (Just as a reminder since I’ve mentioned these) See also: Nights at the Circus (Carter) and Mechanique: A tale of the Circus Tresaulti (Valentine) for your interest in circus books!

13. The Palace of Curiosities (Rosie Garland), which I also rec’d before. Similar style to Chamber, similar themes. Both beautiful books. 14. Deathless (Catherynne Valente): Oh, Deathless. Technically contemporary lit, but hails to Russian Gothic (one of the earlier Gothic movements which I haven’t read much of). Retelling of about a million Russian folk tales. I could go on about this book for a thousand years. Stylistically similar to The Bloody Chamber as well, but far more poetic. (Very) structurally inferior to every other book on this list, but so heart-wrenchingly romantic you won’t notice or care on the first read. Visually breathtaking, absolutely the closest thing to death and the maiden imagery I’ve found in fiction. I’m fairly confident you’ll appreciate this one! Might as well read it to test my theory!! There’s controversy surrounding the fact that the writer is not Russian–something to be aware of. 15. The Enchanted (Rene Denfeld): TREAD WITH CAUTION. This is contemporary literary fiction (not Gothic) written from the pov of a death row inmate. Nominated for approximately a billion awards in 2014 (and won a few); high caliber of writing. Incredibly visceral, horrific, psychological imagery that was too much for me, though I still liked it. Short but dense–I had to take a two-day break to ward off the anxiety it caused. But you are darker~ than I so you might like it more!

THE SOUTHERN GOTHIC PART OF THE LIST 16. Beloved (Toni Morrison): Contemporary Southern Gothic. Incredibly creepy imagery, explores the connection between women’s issues and racial issues. Uses abortion and slavery as metaphors for each other. Gracefully written, but Southern Gothic (even contemporary) tends to be textually dense so it’s something to really think about as you read. 17. As I Lay Dying (Faulkner): “True” Southern Gothic. DENSE AS HELL but I think Beloved is a good precursor to Faulkner. A lot of almost comedic family drama, similar to Flowers in that sense, but very srs bsns nonetheless.

17.5. Basically all of Faulkner is considered Southern Gothic. He’s the father of Southern Gothic. If you enjoy this, you might also like Absalom! Absalom! and other such works. I loved As I Lay Dying but it’s possibly his easiest read, and while I love a good challenge I haven’t stepped up to this one yet.

Note: I use reading guides for all my classical works and Shakespeare, and I think there are good ones for Faulkner too, so that might be something to look into if you wanna vanish into this hell lol.

AN ADDENDUM: OTHER WRITERS

HP Lovecraft: Father of horror or whatever. Awful writer–anyone will agree. The guy had no command of language, but he’s known for over-the-top horror imagery that people really enjoy. Honestly I hate his writing so I haven’t bothered with much of it.

Oscar Wilde: If, by this point, you still want more Victorian-era writing, Wilde is here for you. Lots of social commentary, wrote basically one piece in the Gothic style (Chapter 16 of The Picture of Dorian Gray, my favorite novel), snarky as hell, incredibly gifted writer.

Neil Gaiman: Modern surreal in my opinion, sometimes called modern Gothic, well-loved and writes creepy things. I think he’s average because I’ve read too much Murakami (who does “modern surreal” way, way better) but many people really love him.

THE BLACKLIST Knockoff Gothic/Gothic themed things to avoid. I apologize if you like any of these okay ._.

The Grisha Trilogy (Leigh Bardugo): Contemporary YA, tries to be Russian Gothic and fails. Stick to Deathless. This book makes a mockery of Russian culture whereas at least Valente exhaustively researched her novel. Also doesn’t do romance very well.

The Night Circus (Morgenstern): What the hell is this book, tbh. 400 pages of obtuse and cliched imagery which you don’t have time for in your life. No plot. Two-dimensional characters, bad writing.

Those Across The River (Christopher Buehlman): Terrible. Just terrible.

[seigyokus]

Translation+lyrics below the cut!

esの憂鬱 es no Yuuutsu Melancholy of es

Arisugawa Homare (CV: Toyonaga Toshiyuki) Mikage Hisoka (CV: Terashima Junta)

溜息ついて　あなたまた Tameiki tsuite anata mata With a sigh, you begin to toy around 

退屈と戯れ Taikutsu to tawamure With boredom once more.

暗い予感落としていた Kurai yokan otoshite ita A dark premonition fell before my eyes

運命の後をつけたんだ Unmei no ato wo tsuketanda So I chased after fate itself.

物言わぬ影に誘い込まれて Mono iwanu kage ni sasoi komarete Tempted by an unspeaking shadow--

突きつけられた殺人 Tsuki tsukerareta satsujin A murder was thrust before us.

声を潜める真実と Koe wo hisometa shinjitsu to The whispered truth, the footprints left behind,  

残された足跡だけが Nokosareta ashi ato dake ga and nothing else--

静かに　語りかけるよ Shizuka ni katari kakeru yo They quietly speak to us, 

憂いた言葉で Ureita kotoba de in grief-ridden words.

張り巡らされた嘘 嗚呼 Hari megurasareta uso Aa Ah, a web of lies,

謎に朧な 陰縫い Nazo ni oboro na kagenui And the faintly embroidered outline of a riddle.

秘密明かすように Himitsu akasu you ni These words have a faint fragrance to them--

そっと香る言の葉 Sotto kaoru kotonoha as if they're divulging their secrets to us.

擦り切れてた悲しい愛が Suri kireteta kanashii ai ga Ah, the two accomplices

嗚呼、仕組んだ共犯 Aa shikunda kyouhan brought together by a tragic, worn-out love

今は　優しい夢を Ima wa yasashii yume wo Are now in the midst of a gentle dream.

暴かれてちった真実 Abakarete chitta shinjitsu The truth, now exposed and scattered away,

残された足跡だけが Nokosareta ashi ato dake ga the footprints left behind, and nothing more--

静かに 語りかけるよ Shizuka ni katari kakeru yo They quietly speak to us,

憂いた言葉で Ureita kotoba de in grief-ridden words.

全てをあざ笑うように Subete wo azawarau you ni A mirage bewitchingly shimmers,

妖しく光る　陽炎 Ayashiku hikaru kagerou as if it were sneering at everything.

終わらせてあげる Owarasete ageru At the very least, let me end it for you

せめて自分の手で Semete jibun no te de with my own hands.

さよなら　嗚呼無情 Sayonara Aa mujou Farewell-- Ah, how heartless, how cruel.

TL Notes/comments:

no that is not a typo there are actually 3 u's in yuuutsu bc it's yuu-utsu, im sorry it looks like that

tbt the melancholy of haruhi suzumiya amirite

ALSO the lyrics tie pretty deeply into the event play so if you don't want spoilers, go watch the lil chibi play and come back!!! I wrote up a lil personal reference sheet idk if that helps 

退屈と戯れ - k this confused me a little but I did what i could LOL 

暗い予感落としていった - otosu means 'to drop' aka either implied you're the one who dropped it or someone did it. but i tl'd it as if it were transitive or passive bc fuck if i know what im doing!!!!!!!!! just tryna sound flowery Bro... 

THO perhaps it's a reference to the handkerchief that was plopped right in front of Toujou Shiki (Hisoka) on that windy day that led to this whole mess of a murder-mystery.

秘密明かすようにそっと香る言の葉 - just wanted to say: MAN THIS TIES RIGHT INTO THE STORY, the fragrance left behind on the bookmark/handkerchief is how Shiki figured out the murder.

張り巡らされた嘘 嗚呼 - 張り巡らす means 'to be spread out' like a wiring system, irrigation system, or 'to be stretched out'. so i took some creative liberties and just wrote 'web of lies' bc that is (1) spread out like a _____ system and also (2) pretty damn stretched out. fuck spider webs tbh. 

ALSO i styled 'ah/aa' as 嗚呼 bc, (1) why tf not (2) the only reason why I started tling this song was because the last line was Aa Mujou, and i immediately thought of lovelive and then i went and relistened to the entire song's lyrics and fELL HEAD OVER HEELS FOR THE CONTENT (3) technically this is a taisho era song so i'm allowed 2 toss in a little ye olde time japanese y/n??? y-yes?

謎に朧な 陰縫い - i couldn't really hear this line over tosshi very passionately crooning his line, and I also wasn't sure which kagenui they were referring to? if I even heard it righT!!!!! bc 影縫い is some ninjutsu technique where u throw shuriken to presumably stop someone in their tracks iirc, and 陰縫い is a japanese embroidery technique where you only embroider the outline of a shape. so uh I went very very very loosely with the second one and left the japanese lyrics in kana because, well, fucK if i know what im doing!!!!11.... 

after reading the event story/watching the play i'm 90% certain it's the embroidery one... After all, kusanagi's (the girl that got murdered) name was embroidered on her handkerchief and that ended up being a pivotal clue in deducing who her murderer was. 

uhh I left my dumb debating commentary there so u can laugh @ my ridiculous thought process. aka, don't try to tl shit without reading every available thing first LMAO

声を潜める真実 - lit. the truth, which makes you lower your voice. tl’d as ‘whispered’ because Aesthetic

擦り切れてた悲しい愛が / 嗚呼、仕組んだ共犯 / 今は 優しい夢を 

‘accomplice’ i interpreted as the kusanagi sibling pair. it’s heavily implied that miss kusanagi was okay with being killed by her ‘beloved older brother,’ kusanagi shizuma (azuma’s character). 

yasashii yume sounds like a very very poetic way to say ‘resting in peace’, which kinda ties into the whole ‘miss kusanagi didn’t want to get married off to souma kyouichi (tsumugi) and chose death at the hands of her brother’ thing instead 

THIS is all personal interp, so feel free 2 take the lyrics however tf u want

陽炎 - i tl'd as mirage instead of heat haze just bc it sounded better

last line i shoved in yet another def for mujou bc i wanted it to be drawn out just a little bit more so it'd sound a little more lyrical

overall, I wasn't sure which phrases were combine-able or not so i kinda just combined them willy nilly as i saw fit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ha! ha! ha! 

also OH MY GOD ENTIRE LAST STANZA IS FRM SHIZUMA (azuma's chara)'S PERSPECTIVE, im in Pain

anyways I just wanted 2 tl this for fun bc it's been a while since I worked on anything flowery, and bc I just really love this sONG

#a3 #エースリー #A3! #Winter troupe #a3: game music #translation

[saranel]

My question is not entirely bleach related. So don't know if you'll answer. Well..which pairing of the novel, 'pride and Prejudice' do you like out of the main 4 pairings? If so, do you find similarities between those pairings and bleach ones?

Ooohhhh gosh, it’s been over a decade since I read the book, anon, so you’ll have to forgive me if my memory of events is somewhat skewed by the movie/TV adaptations (what do you mean Darcy doesn’t take a dip in the lake at Pemberley? IS THIS NOT CANON???).  I’mma tag my pal and Pride and Prejudice expert @kisukke to correct me if there’s anything I got wrong. 

First off, I’m not sure which four pairs you’re referring to?  Elizabeth and Darcy, Jane and Bingley are the obvious ones, but aside from those two pairs, I don’t know which other two I’d classify as ‘main.’  There’s Charlotte and Mr. Collins, Lydia and Wickham and then maybe the Gardiners and the Bennets themselves? Oh and Louisa and Mr. Hurst, I guess.  Unless of course you’re talking about potential pairs like Elizabeth & Collins andElizabeth & Wickham xD   

At any rate, with the exception of Elizabeth and Masaki, I can’t really say I find many similarities on a character level.  Maybe Ryūken and his mom with Darcy and Lady Catherine, but not a perfect comparison as in this case Ryūken and Masaki aren’t meant to end up together.  Still, the spirit of the novel, i.e. marrying for the right reasons, does apply greatly to many of the past canon and some of the implied pairs. 

(more under the cut)

Because this is basically one of the main themes of Pride and Prejudice, isn’t it?  To showcase the difference between the relationships built on love and respect, and the forced ones that resulted from impulse/convenience/social pressure etc.  Which, of course, isn’t such a common issue with modern marriages (at least not in the same way; marrying for the wrong reasons is still very much a thing), but was a revolutionary concept for Austen’s time, when women didn’t have much of a choice.  Take Charlotte, for example, whose marriage we do get to see in action, but we cannot really fault her for following the status quo of the time.  

Elizabeth took a great gamble when refusing to marry Mr. Collins, and we see how her mother uses the family’s future to pressure her into accepting, but as the heroine, it makes sense that she’s the one who rebels against this system and ends up not only marrying a man she loves, but also affecting the circumstances so Jane would also marry for love.  In that sense, Masaki has the same role in the EBTR story; by making her own choice and refusing to marry Ryūken, whether knowingly or not, she grants him the freedom to marry the one he loves as well. 

There are three more couples I can think of that fit a similar motif, though they don’t make for quite the same parallel. There’s Byakuya, of course, who bucks tradition and marries Hisana.  There’s Renji, who buries his feelings when Rukia becomes nobility so as not to stand in her way, and though this is mostly a headcanon, anyone who reads my blog consistently knows that I believe this is more or less what happened with Kisuke and Yoruichi.  Most signs point to him being either a commoner or a noble of far lower clout, so whether they carried a romance in secret for years or got together shortly before/after their exile, Yoruichi makes a clear choice in abandoning all titles and luxuries (not to mention friends and family) to be with him.  Whether you read that as platonic or romantic, the end result is the same: Yoruichi went against tradition and the status quo when it posed a serious detriment to her own happiness.  

The big difference between Bleach and P&P is that we don’t see any unhappy marriages in action, like the Bennets or Charlotte and Mr. Collins, to create the juxtaposition.  

Some people may make a case for Ryūken and Katagiri ending up together out of convenience, but I think their relationship has been greatly misinterpreted.  For one thing, when Isshin tells Ichigo that Ryūken let Masaki go post-graduation as a way to make a clean break from his own feelings, I’m not really buying it? I do believe Ryūken had some feelings for her, but they were mostly born out of an effort to make the best of a situation he wasn’t happy with but felt he had to endure.  

Masaki was a lovely girl, so I can’t really fault him for trying to make it work; as a member of a slowly dying ‘race,’ Ryūken carried the immense burden of being the head of a prominent, pureblooded clan that was expected to further the line.  But even before Masaki gets infected by the Hollow, we see how Ryūken’s stiffer disposition changes when he addresses Katagiri.  He regards Masaki with a touch of wariness, as though he’s not quite sure what to make of her and trying to picture himself married to her, but with Katagiri, he’s different, and she in turn is clearly very taken with him:        

One of the things Ryūken and Katagiri also have going for them is the Childhood Friends to Lovers trope, which Kubo is undeniably a fan of (confirmed for Rukia & Renji, Gin & Rangiku, plus heavily hinted for both Tōshirō & Momo and Kisuke & Yoruichi). Ryūken and Katagiri may not qualify as friends, strictly speaking, but the scene where we first hear of this, when Katagiri opens up her heart to Ryūken, frames their first meeting in a romantic light:

8Ryuuken: You can go home and tell my mother… // …that her son… / …has no right to protect the way of the Quincy.Katagiri: I will not.Ryuuken: …I said go home.Katagiri: I will not. / I cannot leave you on your own, young master.Ryuuken: Katagiri………!Katagiri: Ryuuken-sama. // Have you forgotten? / It is my sworn duty to dedicate my entire life… // …to serving you.9Katagiri: From the day we first set eyes on one another… // …my life has belonged to you. // So, please… // Please… // …do not be sad. // If you feel sorrow, Ryuuken-sama… // …my heart will be torn apart. // If you shed tears -Ryuuken: Katagiri.

That’s some seriously romantic dialogue right there, plus it has the added cultural element of them sharing an umbrella for the return trip home, a very romantic gesture in Japan.

Ryūken and Katagiri most certainly don’t qualify as a forced pairing, but they do reinforce the notion that marriage should have its basis in love and respect to work.  Ryūken may have cared deeply about Masaki (mostly platonically, with perhaps a hint of romance), but forcing a marriage between them when he loved Katagiri and she in turn had just fallen in love with Isshin, would’ve made them all four of them miserable. 

So in case it wasn’t already obvious, anon, I’m a big fan of pairings that go against tradition in order to be together xD I did very much enjoy the build-up with Elizabeth and Darcy’s relationship, especially as it was slowly revealed that he wasn’t the asshat both she and the audience originally assumed he was (I love that an early draft of the novel was called ‘First Impressions’ lmao).  Or rather, that he had a good heart, but had to learn to see beyond the surface, which over the course of the novel, he does.  

Jane and Bingley were also pretty damn cute, but Elizabeth and Darcy, with their faults and their prickliness, are far more relatable than the always cheerful and friendly Jane and Bingley.  The two are obviously very well-suited for each other, they’re just the Golden Retriever to Elizabeth and Darcy’s Grumpy Cat.  And I’ve always been a fan of cats.  

Wickham can go eat a bag of dicks. 

#asks #ryuugiri #isshimasa #urayoru #byahisa #renruki #pride and prejudice #Anonymous

[themanicgalaxy]

SPN 5X11 Sam, Interrupted

wait Psych also had an interrupted episode the BRAINWORMS

So I have my presentation tomorrow whee

also I can't believe Misha Collins joined tik tok today, truly unparalleled

man I hope this one is chill

oh someone being hunted by a monster and people diagnosed her, but she can tell the difference

kinda like Anna but still Vibe

"there is no such thing as monsters" sir

look they're cliche, but the visuals are cool

oh god and she's dead

and no one believes her or them

it looks like a suicide jesus

seriously does no one clock the van halen

YES BABAR THEY CLOCK BUT NOT VAN HALEN?

"I'm a lil depressed doc, I started the apocalypse"

oh my fucking god oh my fucking god they just tell the truth

"oh an angel on your shoulder"" nono, his name's castiel, he wears a trenchcoat"

I LOVE THIS

"yeah can you fix him so we can go back to hunting monsters" i'M FUCKING CRYING

THEIR LITTLE HIDDEN PLEASED SMILES

ah so it's another one of Dad's Friends of course

ah Dean isn't coping with Ellen and Jo of course he isn't

people get old ig

ah so Dean doesn't believe them, Sam gives them the benefit of the doubt

man I miss the formula, at least a little

ah yes the dangerously codependent relationship

he sounded so sad though

ah jeez imagine being so panicked but no one believes you, jesus

where'd the narcissism come from, huh?

Dean dude I'm so fucking sorry

the matter of fact conversation is actually...very fun dialogue but also big oof

boy he's fucked up lmaOOO

ah yeah he didn't take therapy well go figure(unfortunatly I know what he means)

I cannot figure out how to spell that for the life of me it's fine

"back off Dean" also feels pointed

ohh right last episode

is it like...whoever saw it, it goes after them first?

oh GOD THAt's a deep cut

Sam what the ACTUAL FUCK

SAM THAT IS A BONE SAW

SAM THAT IS HIS BRAIN

Sam: Dean look! isn't this wack it's a brain that's been sucked dry!

Dean: SAM WE GOTTA FUCKING GO

weird boy Sam

Dean what the fuck that worked

"crazy works" sir

wraith?

it's the nurse isn't it

it IS a perfect hunting ground

oo nice shot

ah the mirror

"you think you have to save everyone" oof

thanks John

"how do you get up in the morning" "good question" :(((

and the heavily implied drinking problem

jesus that was horrifying

so the nurse is Sam this time?

this feels like...REALLY fetishy

"we know what happened in-"

dean's little "dude, why"

this sounds like Bobby

ah the knife

it's the nurse you guys I promise

DAMN dude you got a lot of anger you need to work off huh

they got it wrong, I tOLD YOU

LMAO THEY GAVE HIM STUFF

"you always were a happy drunk" that's right we rarely see him drink

"you've been at least half crazy for a long time" oof

"since hell" oh come on give more of that please

nah happy unangsty Sam is so cute

"I'm fine" sir

MEG?

how does she know about the GED and give em hell attitude I love that quote

oh god he's not talking to anyone?

oh good he's actively hallucinating

but she can't...cuz they acted her like...she was real?

ah fuck poor Dean

ah he's not delusional, he's angry

yeah that tracks

"barely even human" o p e that's the thing he's sensitive about

actually they're both just...good at hiding it

oh my god they're both hallucinating

ah fun he's having fun, he's just completely losing it

Dean is just panicking in a corner jesus CHRIST

boy they're all..so FUCKED

"yeah we'll get there eventually, but the Coincidence" dude come on just think about it

jeez this man has a hundred million neuroses him trying to focus is Insane

oh the Other nurse? yeah ok

sexy monster nurse is totally a fetish I swear

ah so it's the creepy nurse, good ok I was right

It was pretty clear but still

Dean is Not Having a Good Time

ah the blood spatter

sam and the restraints

bro she was so obvious

ah she checked them in didn't she

ah so there was ALSO a reason for crazy brain

"well I helped, but you were always angry" lmaooo

"you build your own hell"

"you think this is gonna go well for you kiddo" "no but I'm crazy so what the hell" lmAOOO

bro he is BARELY hanging on

OH M Y GOD HE RIPPED IT OFF

and she's dead so the visions stopped

"i'm mad at everything" oh poor guy

listen he got like no autonomy ever, he gets to be like this

poor selfless idiot

Dean do nOT BURY IT

THAT I S HOW YOU END UP LIKE MARTIN

YOU FUCKERS ARE TERRIBLE FOR EACH OTHER

ok so

1. Dean. Dean hides everything, he absorbs it, he keeps going because that's what he was taught to do

2. Sam. Sam's anger driven, and emotional, and more importantly, gets so little choice in anything, and is always just Fucked. good exploration of this dynamic, but unfortunately, it got written of as "eh it'll be fine," which strangely enough I don't think this was the point.

3. hunting BAD. Like this was very clearly a "how hunting fucks you up" thing, or how you have to be fucked up to do it, and how they'll end up crazy like that. Like this is so much Not Escapism I'm so confused by the message, it was a different writer probably.

4. ok but like cinematpgraphy was good and parts of this were like...ironically funny

5. the baddy was fun! like obvious but her villain speech was good, she was scary, there was logic for the crazy brain even! it was cool!

#pawswatchesspn #5x11 Sam interrupted #it was a very good episode #I just think it maybe muddled it's message?

[kaoarika]

AHHHHHHHHH!

Last week I posted this long rambling about Favorite Part, especially as it coincided with both the series concluding AND also with me finding that there is an English fan translation of the series. So... hah... yeah... we are in that “finale” due date period.

It’s a series I want to talk about with other people so much, and while the fan TL is just still in the start/prologue, I don’t think it will be easy for me to shut up until time comes on and the last chapters are translated.

Again, it’s a series I really want to talk about with others, and I feel somewhat sad that I ramble and ramble, and I don’t think ppl will get what I’m saying, until it is widely available for everyone (me included) to get it.

So, uhm...

I will be non-spoiler free from now on in this post (although I’m going to be generalizing a lot of stuff here due to plot’s stuff). I don’t think I am going to reveal everything going on, and these aren’t my final thoughts about the series due to:

a) There’s still a chapter left (published in September 26th, 2019 -Wed 25th in my timezone), so finale-finale? This isn’t, there’s the other half of the finale left.

b) I STILL LACK FULL CONTEXT OF STUFF HAPPENING HERE AND THERE DUE TO LANGUAGE BARRIERS.

c) Most of these are my most raw feelings right now. I might be wrong about stuff, but... ehhh... you know...

I will start saying one thing: the finale does feel rushed. 

Then again, the last... 10 chapters or so feel rushed as well. I am not saying it’s a total bad thing, but I’m certainly to blame the last arc and events around it, especially as they escalated too quickly and, at least for me, they came out from the left field. The nature of this arc (involving a stalker with goons under their wing) was a serious one, and it became dangerous as I never expected the stalker kidnapping someone in this whole mess. Someone that, by the way, seemingly was starting to overcome one of their traumas just before this happened... and I couldn’t believe how foolish they were to FALL into it.

The aftermaths of this event don’t seem to be fully solved (I don’t think only by my POV and lack of context), yet, and it also left lots of questions surrounding the main figure who was stalked here.

And, tbh,  it felt... odd. (It didn’t help finding out in the same chapter that the series was ending). I am certainly wishing there’s a mention about them in the last chapter. But this is mostly my wishful thinking talking, as they became a popular character, and it’s not like I didn’t care for them either... it’s... complicated... they were interesting and there’s lots of stuff here and there about them that don’t have answers, and you just... don’t simply introduce a stalking side-plot  by having it half-solved. Fans simply want to know what happened to them.

That being said, I wouldn’t be 100% surprised if they don’t appear again.

Thinking back, there’s something that stroke me recently as I was talking about this with a friend. What if this romance and drama webtoon was heavily inclined to be about Woojoo and Hanbyeol? Like... What if it was a love story about “healing” and “reconciling” both past and present? As in, “what if we implied we have changed, but actually we haven’t changed that much”? For them both in personal senses... for them both in a relationship.

Btw, I love this ship, and certainly, I may be biased... but then... it started to make sense as I reviewed the series again?

Like, Woojoo was certainly a mess when she is introduced: lack of self-confidence, lack of self-esteem... and she only knew a kind of love where she would be on the sidelines, obssessing over someone whose face was pretty... and opening her arms to the first person who had a pretty face... but everyone and their dog told her that he was an asshole. “You can’t judge a book by its cover”, basically. 

And it was pathetic, and it was pitiful. And the worst thing is? She was aware of it... but couldn’t do something against it because she felt no one else would love her.

But, her insight starts to change when she meets Hanbyeol, a pretty sweet and optimistic guy (at the time, overweight as her), who also has his inner demons.

And they get along in a weird but wholesome way. He also confessed to her that he had a crush on her.

But there’s something that happens at the end of the prologue that these both argue and don’t see each other in a year.

And the thing is? At first, I felt that Hanbyeol was resentful against her over what happened... but he is also surprised that she has been attempting to change her old ways ever since the last time they met. And he truly wanted her to be happy (despite his lingering feelings for her, too) and was deciding to let her go... except things weren’t this way when he finds out that she was involved in a scheme that would hurt her.

They start getting along again aftewards. But... she is still afraid to see his now-slimmed face, because she knows... she knows she doesn’t want to repeat the same mistakes she did in the past.

Here is what happens afterwards: they get along, they start going out again, they start to confide in each other again, and they TALK to each other again. They find themselves in a comfort level zone they weren’t in the past. And one simple near glimpse at his face and she finds him handsome... but she stars feeling conflicted about it. Eventually, she starts worrying more and more about him... and you get the idea, and wants to help him the same way he has been doing in the past... ALSO, she finds out more about his inner demons and, that perhaps, she was wrong in misinterpreting his way to cope things when he confessed to her why he liked her at the start.

Sure, many of these thing could be interpreted as platonic, too... but, honestly?

There’s also some kind of “love triangle” introduced, but... at the same time I don’t know if to define it as “love triangle”. SURE, the thing is THERE. but... I suppose it was to “heal”, not exactly “who is she ending up with at the end”.

SO... I MEAN, by now it’s kinda obvious who ended with who, right?

(Reaction pic is relevant, I also prepared myself while reading OreMono vol 8)

I would have been more surprised if those feelings between Hanbyeol and Woojoo weren’t mutual, lol. Especially when I realize that subtlety and “love language” don’t necessarily has to be 100% obvious except for the people involved. And Tarly managed show most of their relationship as potentially romantic with subtlety and growth.

And you could discuss that Hanbyeol was simply being a “nice guy”, and that Woojoo was only being a “good friend”... but, even so, even if they started as friends, and while I would have been okay with a platonic ending between those two... I started to realize “they care for each other in their own ways, go lengths to help/save each other and also comfort them” were a few things that I liked too much of ���friends to lovers” stuff when done alright. IT WAS ALL THERE.

I WISH I COULD HAVE LIVEBLOGGED THIS BUT MOST OF MY FEELS WENT FROM “YOOOOOOOO” TO “OH, MY POOR BBY” BECAUSE THE ENDGAME FEELS RIGHT?

ALSO, I liked that them ending together also doesn’t magically fix all their inner demons. They still have their anxieties, their fears, their insecurities... but they have the support of each other. They accept each other for whom they are, because while there’s always a favorite part you like of someone... when you realize it’s only a part of their whole self you also love too much.

But, damn... the way they kissed (because they DID!) was more or less on the same frequency I imagined it, lmao. BUT, YOOOOOOOOO... that was too much too handle for my poor (and “not wanting to be hor*ny on main, but...”) heart.

I cannot express my happiness over this, although the most important thing is that... THERE’S STILL A WEEK LEFT. It’s probably mostly to epilogue stuff and conclusions besides afterwords.

*Praying they don’t get separated, again... I WAITED A YEAR, THEY DESERVE TO BE TOGETHER*

I still echo my selfish feels about hoping Woojoo doesn’t get pressed to lose weight. For how the cliffhanger (?) looks like, I don’t think that would be the case?? But I’m not too sure. Because, hey, one of the reasons I started reading this series is how it portrayed a fat female lead with lots of personal issues, and I like how it opted to not solve them by simply losing weight as THE solution to “accept yourself” . sure, I suppose I wouldn’t be mad if she lose it by own decision or a “culmination” of sorts??? I dunno, perhaps I’ll have mixed feelings at worst.

#kao's ramblings #Favorite Part #spoilerish spoilers