#i mean this with so much affection

[princebeomgyu]

my favourite thing about choi yeonjun is that he looks and dresses like he’s so cool but he’s actually one of the biggest dorks i’ve ever seen

#i mean this with so much affection #he seems like he’s gonna be a fuck boy but he’s so #he’s just a sweet guy #he’s txt’s dorky big brother #i hope he never changes #tomorrow x together #yeonjun #to be fair he is also cool tho

[mangoes-and-mothman]

good omens makes me sick to my stomach btw

#i mean this with so much affection #i am ill #like beyond just the incredibly storytelling with aziraphale and crowley like the overall - #- way they deconstruct and analyze christianity and moral debates is amazing #mangoes thoughts #good omens

[badxwolf]

"[Russell T Davies] made Rose an equal, not a sidekick. It is she who, on several occasions, saves the Doctor, rather than the other way round. As any parent with a daughter, I now look at Esme and think 'you could be the Doctor'. In 2005, as recently as that, such a thought would have been a pipe dream.

[Rose is] a woman with an independent mind, willing to confront received wisdom. Rose arrives on screen fully formed, one of the strongest female characters of any show, any year, painting a solid line directly to Jodie Whittaker. 

If you think about it, the relaunch in 2005 was actually the first chance to create the first female Doctor. Why not do it then? Perhaps we should be looking back on Billie Piper not as Rose, but as the Doctor."

- Christopher Eccleston in his memoir I Love The Bones Of You

#i cannot find words to articulate how profoundly this affected me #i think all i can say is THIS is why i love rose. this is why she means so much to me. #he gets it. he gets her. #and he gets thirteen too #also the fact that he's said jodie is his favourite doctor <3 #i love him aah #christopher eccleston #ninth doctor #rose tyler #billie piper #jodie whittaker #thirteenth doctor #doctor who

[carterthefrog]

fuck romance, have you ever had a friendship where you both agree that you are the single most important person to each other? one where you feel like you are kindred souls and that you can talk to each other about literally anything because you both just get it? one where there's nothing you can say or do around them that would embarrass you even a little bit? cuz that shit is so much more powerful than romance just trust me dude

#so many people assume that being aromantic means i hate affection but like. no im so passionately affectionate about my friends #you guys simply underestimate how much love and joy my best friend provides for me on a daily basis #aromantic #aspec #asexuality #asexual #aroace #aromanticism

[andromeda3116]

one thing that i've noticed and begun to seriously appreciate upon rereading the watch novels is --

sam and sybil are not in love when they get married.

they like each other, but they aren't in love. and i think this is why sybil seems to be kind of in the background of men at arms and feet of clay, like, sure, she's his wife and he appreciates her and cares for her but he doesn't love her -- yet.

and i think it's the knitting moment at the end of jingo when it happens to him. like that john green quote about how you fall in love slowly and then all at once? i think the moment when he comes home and she's been trying to knit him socks but she's no good at knitting and so it ends up being a scarf instead of socks -- i think that's the "all at once".

and then after jingo, suddenly sybil matters more to him, appears more in his thoughts, he's so proud of her in the fifth elephant for everything she does (she is such a badass in the fifth elephant), and it's the cigar case she gave him that is what he longs for amd desperately needs to hold onto in night watch, the memory of her. she's much more important to him and his perspective in the later watch books, and yes the doylist interpretation is that sir terry developed the relationship more as he grew as a writer because he didn't feel like he was very good at writing romance, but i like the watsonian interpretation --

that sam vimes was not in love with sybil ramkin when he married her, but instead fell madly in love with her along the way.

#discworld #gnu terry pratchett #sam vimes #sybil vimes nee ramkin #sam/sybil #i love this relationship so much #i mean. he wears the scarf proudly. no shame or bashfulness about it the way he used to be cringey at her displays of affection #and after that he wears the socks she makes for him even though she's still not very good at making them #because he loves her and she made these socks for him #it's just very sweet #i love them your honor

[ruporas]

hello there, angel

[ID: Digital illustration in color of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. Vash is sitting facing the viewer and holds a rose between his clasped together hands, but he’s looking to the left, upwards, at Wolfwood, with an awed expression. Wolfwood hovers over him with wings sprouting from his back. He has a cigarette lit between his lips, his arms and legs are crossed, and he looks back at Vash with a neutral expression. The both of them are covered in a blue shadow, casted by Wolfwood and his hovering form, while warm light hits the back of his wings and over Vash’s legs. Small feathers sits next to Vash. End ID]

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #this is not meant to mean anything btw i just wanted to draw wolfwood as an angle #i love angel and follower depiction but i also think wolfwood is just the most angelic human being ever #he was sent to guide him... he protects him... he Saved him #i mean they both just think of each other as the most good they've seen in the world in a really long time #and in turn makes themselves coil and feel a little more disgusted with themselves. but they're also so Good to each other that they can #start to believe that they can be that good too. #they love each other so much and theyve never loved anyone else like this before so i can just imagine the heights their love can reach #endless pouring of affection in a way they can only keep to their own chest in fear they'd never be able to let go otherwise #that is to say i just feel like they'd worship each other and it's probably excessive but i feel like they both really deserve it #i did not even mean to go on that tangent but back on topic -- i just love angel wolfwood depiction in a way that's Normal...... #need more of vash saying cheesy shit like youre my light wolfwood!!!! and wolfwood beating the shit out of him like WHAT ARE YOU SAYING!!! #which is why i have a tablet in the first place. my mission in the world... #ruporas art

[kaltacore]

no but essek's abnormal behaviours in the last arc and especially in episode 140 are my roman empire. which is ironic because aeor is something of a roman empire itself. but in all seriousness, it was the episode that made me realise i love essek and his development so much and it kinda summarised it even before caleb's epilogue.

and i mean the "it's not fair" scene specifically. it's like, an epitome of his whole character progression from a person who put An Objectively Important Goal above all else without hesitation to someone who can't help but care for people around even more than his goal, no matter how big and relevant it is.

the mighty nein - and he alongside them - pretty much saved the world and freed an ancient city from thousand-year-long suffering. they defeated nine extremely powerful menacing entities who managed to stay out of everyone's sight for years and were so close to achieving their goal and dooming exandria in the process. they did the impossible and became heroes and somehow, they survived, even though they had bidden farewells a couple of hours ago because they had already understood what they had been facing. and nevertheless. they made it.

and none of them was celebrating.

mighty nein are basically essek's only friends. he knew them to be very unusual people, to put it lightly, loud and stubborn and completely inescapable once they consider you to be one of their own. and they showed him so much kindness and put so much faith in him, they were here playing the most atrocious music ever and digging clay in his backyard for a spell they invented just to help one of theirs and asking him if he could bring them pastries the day after they found out he was lying to them and had started a war. they were chaotic and weird and sometimes unbearable but most importantly they were carrying so much hope with them all this time - a hope they could end the war, a hope they could stop the angel of irons cult, a hope they could get better, a hope he could get better, and now, finally, that they could save their lost friend.

and that hope shattered, just like that, the moments after they'd already made the impossible. they saved so many souls - and then could not get back just that one.

for essek "my intentions were never good they were important" thelyss it just. shouldn't have mattered. they won. it could have been worse. people die and when they die they rarely come back. they should've been happy everyone else barely made it alive.

but for some reason, mighty nein being so defeated after they saved the world exposed him to that overwhelming feeling of injustice and unfairness. and i mean, there were many things essek considered to be unfair, but when i watched his first appearance and his interactions with mighty nein later on til their reunion in aeor arc, i wouldn't dare to guess that one of the things on that list would be something that personal. and personal not even to him.

the thing is, essek didn't even know who that guy was. why mighty nein cared about him so much. he had an idea, i guess, that he was their friend once, or someone in that body was. it was also a person who wanted to unleash a terrifying horrific aberration onto the material plane. it was a person very dedicated to killing essek and his friends - and they still didn't take any pleasure in fighting him. essek didn't feel strongly about lucien or molly, because he never knew them.

i don't think he mourned his death and failed resurrection. he mourned mighty nein's hope, the one they put in him when they had no reason to, the one they offered yasha in the cathedral and the one they kept after the spell for veth failed and the one they carried til the very end because they wanted it to reach molly. they had saved people with this hope. they had saved nations. they had saved the world. but they ended up feeling like it hadn't even been worth anything.

how desperate would it feel, witnessing people who for some reason always saw good in you when they absolutely shouldn't, who made literal miracles out of nothing, who ended wars and fought gods and tricked the hags and freed cities from horrors beyond anyone's comprehension purely because they thought it was the right thing to do and also loved their friends this much, silently crying over a dead body they couldn't bring back to life? how desperate would it feel to realise that with all your knowledge about time you dedicated your life to and threw away any principles for, you can't undo this? no one can. some things are left to fate alone and this time it wasn't kind to them. no matter how much good they did, they still got slapped in the face.

and it was, i think, such a genuine moment of empathy. like, essek is the character who prefers to put up a facade and act distant and self-composed but this time he just. walked away unable to watch this. the could only say to fjord that it wasn't fair. even when he was caught off guard in nicodranas he was able to explain himself and his motives to an extent even though he was a nervous wreck whose extra important plan went to hell the second the only people he cared about appeared. this time he had nothing to elaborate on. it just wasn't fair. it wasn't fair his friends didn't get what they wanted the most. it wasn't fair he couldn't do anything to make it right.

it is such a sad and beautiful and even cathartic scene because it is about person who started a war that destroyed so many lives - and then met this ragtag group of weirdos who saw a lonely stand-offish guy and said "hey, let's be friends!" and didn't even wait for him to answer. he saw them being serious and calculated and he saw them being ridiculous and extremely stupid, he saw their mistrust to outsiders and their loyalty to each other, he made spells with them and paid a visit to their hot tub, he ate their stale pastries and drank their hot chocolate mixed with whiskey, he was welcomed amongst them and in their wonderful home, both in xhorhas before they even found out what he had done and in the tower when they already knew - and then, he saw them mourning their loss, defeated and helpless, and he, a person who believed there were things more important than whole nations, let alone just one life, couldn't help but share the pain they felt. a pure display of compassion from someone who detached himself from it, who didn't believe he could grow into a better person capable of it again, but became one nonetheless without even realising it

#sorry. i cannot shut up about this. this scene stuck with me the moment i saw it and i just couldn't get it out of my head #i mean. i liked essek well enough. i just got attached to other characters more. but then 'it's not fair' happened and it sealed the deal #it was just. so beautiful. so sincere. so important for a character who just started to learn how to care about people #his reaction wasn't intentional. it didn't change anything. but it showed how humane he had become. how deeply he cared #mighty nein are no joke pal #they're gonna make you feel all these unknown emotions like sympathy and love and affection even when they're incredibly painful #essek experiencing closeness and attachment in all their forms. as something beautiful and something aching. is so important to me #they saved him because they had good hearts! and these good hearts sparked so much joy around them! #but if a good heart grants you an ability to experience joy so profoundly. it makes everything else feel like that #you get it. i hope you get it. anyway e140 did so much psychic damage on me i probably will never recover #in a good way mostly <3 but yeah. yeah. it makes me feel a little insane #the mighty nein #essek thelyss #critical role

[skrunksthatwunk]

thinking about how eiji's a pole vaulter and how ash talks about eiji "flying" and how eiji's associated with bird imagery and how eiji's free (unlike ash) and how eiji comes in on a plane and leaves on a plane and how ash cannot fly, ash cannot be free, how nyc is ash's prison, and how ash is the leopard who dies climbing the mountain, unable to live at such elevation, how he was trying to reach the sky and be free but was always stuck to the earth, how he chose to die instead of climbing back down, how he chose to die where he could see the sky and hope and freedom almost like a bird with eiji's letter right in front of him rather than letting everything go wrong and ruin it once again, how eiji's a failed pole vaulter anyway, how a bad fall ruined his career and grounded him (physically and emotionally), how it took flying to america and meeting ash and needing to save him and skip for him to try flying again, how he landed hard and harsh and still the thought of that escape compelled ash to protect eiji at all costs because if he could fly that means something to him, even if he doesn't think he can fly, how eiji is the manifestation of his hope and how when he breaks and asks eiji to stay with him a while he folds himself over his legs and weighs him down and traps him and grounds him, how ash fights like hell to keep eiji alive not because he thinks he can be like him (hopeful, flying, innocent), but because he makes him forget the gravity of his situation, and so he can see eiji fly again. how he wants to see him escape. how eiji is a bird and ash is a wildcat and how ash never once saw eiji as prey. how eiji never saw ash as a predator. how it is eiji's naivete that first endears ash to him, how it is his freedom and flight and removal from darkness and his ability to leave that darkness that really roots eiji in ash's blood as something essential to him keeping on living in this hell of nyc. how it is that distance from the violence and that hope for the future that ash chooses to surround himself in as he dies. how ash dies in a dream because he feels more than anything that he can't fly like eiji, that he can never leave. how his violence is a part of him and will be forever, how it weighs him down. how he wants to enjoy the view from the mountainside rather than looking up from the ground below. as if they can both fly. as if he is with him up there and not grounded. eye-to-eye with what he can't have, seeing eiji's homeland: the sky. how he dies trying to reach the top because he couldn't take retreating and trying again. how ash, tired and tired and tired and convinced it will go on forever if he crawls back down the mountain, chooses to close his life deluged in eiji, in eiji's insistence that they can fly together, in eiji's hope for him and for them, in eiji's beautiful dream. how ash dies without trying to realize that dream. how ash, in dying, destroys it.

#banana fish spoilers #I'M HAVING A FUCKING MOMENT #mutual reblogged exactly one (1) piece of ash fanart and sent me on A Multiple Hour Long Thing and now im rewatching it lol #yes i am only on episode 2 yes i am still going to write big long analysis posts ANYWAY #whatever hope this makes sense. anyway #banana fish #okumura eiji #ash lynx #asheiji #hhhhh i can't believe i've only watched this twice in like what 5.5 years?? sheesh #anywayyyyyyy i care about them a lot ok. god #and yes i DO kinda have beef with the decision to kill ash off at the end but it really does say so much About his character #that he chose to die in the way that he did even though he's been throwing his life away since episode 1 #dying in peace in comfort in solitude rather than in some chaotic battlefield.... ough...... in the peace eiji alone could give him..... #anywayss i relate to ash a little more than i should so. this one's for us cool guy bottoms up #edit i uh.... i forgot it was a leopard.... in the story..... but whatever it doesn't really affect the symbolic meaning it's just embarras #ing that i forgot >;/

[shadowtraveled]

this is a largely meaningless observation but, based on the fleki uniform demonstration comic, mithrun seems to wear the default style of the canary uniform, probably because he has no desire to personalize it or preference for how to do so, etc. when he does seem to pick his own clothes, though, they don’t look super in-line with what we’re shown of elven clothing styles in his region: high collars look like they’re fairly popular with elves in general, but out of uniform he tends to be a lot more covered up than everyone else—long sleeves, long pants, boots rather than sandals, and he dresses that way both prior to getting eaten and after the events of the series. anyway it’s kind of cute that after everything that happened to him, someone cared enough to remember what his clothing preferences used to be.

#sorry my head is full of him #dungeon meshi spoilers #just mentioned. just a bit #dungeon meshi #mithrun #he’s like a case study in the problems that would Of Course arise in a society with the standards and values we frequently see in elves #in fantasy which is very refreshing because again What is with fantasy writers writing their elven societies Like That and going no they can #be weird elitists they’re hot and they’re kind of right. and leaving it at that. i mean i know why that happens but. anyway #if elves are going to be elfing in that way it’s so much more interesting to see how that manifests and affects individuals within that #culture. this was a large part of essek’s appeal to me also lmfaondns and it is why i can’t stop giving my dnd characters elf ancestry. if #you’re going to make them be fucked up let me think about the consequences !!!! but anyway yeah no mithrun gets to be on my mind 24/7 #because he Is the consequences. and it’s very good but also i am so so sad

[cerise-on-top]

hi just want to pop in this request how would 141 react to reader who likes to uh.. chomp down on almost anything like maybe their arms? or random bites on the finger?? but its just in a playful way what would their react to it?? anyways you're a lovely writer have a good day <33

Hello! I wrote something similar to that for Gaz already here, so I left him out! His biting section is a bit short since that ask encompassed something similar to it, but it's there!

Price, Ghost and Soap with a Reader who likes to Bite Them

Price: He’d be so utterly confused if you bite him. Depending on whether or not you’re close with each other the scenario could go one of two ways: If you’re close, he’ll raise an eyebrow and ask you what you’re doing. If you respond with showing affection then he’ll be more inclined to let you continue doing whatever it is you’re doing. Truth be told, he’s not the biggest fan of you biting him, but if you’re his partner, then he’ll tolerate it. He knows you’re just being friendly and showing him that you love him in your own way, so he won’t say anything, but he’s not particularly too happy about it. Price doesn’t like how you’re getting saliva on him, he’s not a big fan of something like that. If you’re not his s/o then he’ll tell you to stop.

Ghost: Like Price, he’ll raise an eyebrow upon finding you chomping on him and will ask you what in the world you’re doing. Unlike Price he’ll be more understanding of it all and won’t really mind it too much. He won’t do it back to you in fear of biting your finger off or hurting you otherwise, even if biting people really isn’t his style either unless he has to. He’ll allow it and won’t really comment on it too much, aside from asking you whether or not you want an actual snack instead of him. Bite him and he’ll awkwardly pat your back, he does appreciate you being affectionate with him, though. Doesn’t mind you getting saliva on him either, he’s been through far far worse. Overall, just don’t bite him too hard and he won’t mind, but if you’re genuinely hurting him then he’ll put an end to it all.

Soap: I wouldn’t be surprised if he bit you first, in all honesty. Not by accident, but on purpose. Soap isn’t a biter normally, but he can and will bite someone if dared to or if they lovingly annoy him. However, if you’ve bitten him first then be prepared for him to bite you back. He’s not grossed out by anything, but he will bite down harder than you bite him. Affection like this is a competition and he is hellbent on winning. If you’re his S/O then he’ll also try to leave marks on you to show everyone that you’re his and that you’re having fun with each other. And by that I mean he’ll bite your cheek since that’s one of the most obvious places out there. By the time you’re done being affectionate with each other you’ll both be covered in bite marks, each one deeper and more concerning than the last. But you’re having fun, and that’s all that matters.

#cod #cod x reader #john price #john price x reader #price x reader #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #john soap mactavish #john soap mactavish x reader #soap x reader #do people genuinely bite each other to show affection? in a SFW context I mean #I've literally never heard of it before but my friend says it's got something to do with cuteness aggression so I can't help but wonder #no Gaz because I've already written something like that for him. sorry these are short I don't know what to write for something like this #I don't really have much to add this time except I'm sort of confused #gently kicking someone to show you love them is something I used to do but I've never bitten anyone #ever since my first violent love language request I've been seeing an increase in biting as a love language #oh well it's not my place to judge but I'm still not sure anyone actually does this

[redrobin-detective]

So I've been listening to my two favorite songs from Hadestown, Wait For Me (Reprise) and Road to Hell (Reprise), on loop for a few days. And on my 400th listen something occurred to me.

Orpheus was writing his song to "make spring come again". He wanted to "fix what's wrong, take what's broken and make it whole." His entire purpose was to write "a song so beautiful it brings the whole world back into tune." (From Come Home with Me).

And he did. Using his love for Eurydice, he was able to finish his song, his masterpiece. But the cost of his dedication to his music meant his love went hungry and went to Hadestown for food and shelter.

He hoped his love and his music would be strong enough to save her, a task we know was ultimately futile but we still sing about it because maybe one day it will be different but also... He did make spring come again. He helped Hades be more secure in his love for Persephone so she could stay on Earth long enough for their to BE a spring. He did take a broken, strained marriage and help them communicate, make them whole. He did bring the whole world back into tune when he sang their song and another pair of distanced lovers began to dance after so long of arguing.

Everyone else got their happy ending but him and Eurydice.

He did not fail, he just not could not imagine that his song didn't have room for his own happiness. It's a reminder that for every triumph there is tragedy, every repaired relationship there is a breakup and that while it may be spring somewhere, somewhere else it is winter. I don't know, that idea of mixed blessing tragedies in the story intrigued me. Because someone's worst day may be someone's best. And that is why we must always sing these songs, to remember on the bright days and to get us through the darkness and to know, someday, spring will come again.

#hadestown #hades and persephone are so much better at the end of the musical #orpheus' song reminded them of their love of their promise #6 mo here and 6 mo there #Eurydice comments at the start there hasn't been a spring or fall in a while #I believe the strain in the gods' relationship had so affected the outside world #Orpheus fixed that trying to save his own relationship #he brought back spring in a meaningful way only at the cost of his love #he finished the song but lost the girl #idk what it means but golly I'm crying in this chili's tonight

[bikananjarrus]

we wanted dumbass bisexual representation and by god is evan buckley here to deliver

#he’s. SO stupid #i mean that with utmost affection #i love him so much <3 #and I can’t wait to watch the new ep tmrw #evan buckley #911 abc #911 tv #911 spoilers #(not really but just in case)

[petricorah]

just some casual early morning fishing and some not-so-casual evening pining after your best friend

mini explanation of how this would take place if it were a prequel to the dangers of not confessing comic

After ozai’s defeat, they finally take a break and go on the fishing trip they lied about. And it’s amazing, and fun, and Zuko’s heart is aching throughout every second of it. Because he’s drowning under the weight of his impending duties as firelord. He has Responsibilities. But all he wants to do is be with Sokka and have the time relaxing with the people he cares about, actions that he was deprived of during his youth. And Sokka’s about to be halfway across the world, back at his home, where he belongs. And it would be selfish to ask Sokka to stay. And even more selfish to tell him how he feels when he knows soon the trip will be over, and it will never work between them, and Sokka probably doesn’t even feel the same way. So he stays silent. 

And misses his chance.

#zukka #zuko #sokka #atla #avatar #zukka fanart #myart #tell him zuko tell him before you miss your chance #they didn't catch the fish #avatar fanart #ozai's name isn't capitalized because he doesn't deserve the respect of being a proper noun #also as to why sokka doesn't say anything: i feel like sokka's super outgoing #but he tends to overthink things #suki made the first move with him and yue ended in heartbreak #i think sokka would second guess his judgement of zuko's affections #every time he thinks he knows zuko actually likes him he'd talk himself out of it or overthink the weight of potentially ruining #a friendship that means so much to him #i think sokka has a lot of self doubts and the more he likes zuko the more likely it is he would think zuko would never like him back or be #happy with him #so he never says anything #until years later when he tries to play it off as a joke so he can finally #finally #get over his feelings #hint: he'll be unsuccessful #damn thems a lot of tags

[art-of-the-maiden]

i wasn’t super sold on royalteeth/kingleader/kingmaster until i discovered my partner kins kinger and i kin caine. therefore, i had to draw them being dumb gay old men

they r holding handz <3

#i drew them from memory pls be nice to me #so much potential #realistically #i’m not sure caine would actually love any of them beyond his programmed affection for his circus performers #but i’m such a sucker for an AI learning to be human #and i think he’d be somewhat secretly obsessed with trying to be human #even if only to better understand how to help them #bc he loves everyone. he does #he just doesn’t know what it means #anyways i’m rambling #look at the gay old men. yeah. yum #tadc #the amazing digital circus #tadc caine #tadc kinger #kingleader #kingmaster #royalteeth #tadc caine x kinger #tadc kinger x caine #tadc royalteeth #tadc kingleader #tadc kingmaster #traditional art #doodles #tadc doodles

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

SO. TO KICK OFF THE WEEK OF SPECULATION BEFORE THE UPDATE DROPS.

last night i had a bit of a Revelation. literally. i borderline woke up in a cold sweat with this realization. the way i lunged for my laptop to scream at friends... ough. lets get into it

so. i do believe I've made a couple of theory posts about Barnaby not being quite as receptive to his and Wally's "forced" best friendship as Wally - since the show wrote them to be friends instead of it happening naturally. i thought it might be a point of tension for Barn. i thought a lot.

YES SO I'M TOSSING (almost) ALL OF THAT OUT THE WINDOW!

the bios state Barnaby as Wally's best friend multiple times over. it had to be regularly reinforced. their colors were chosen to mark them as friends.

but Barnaby - presumably - can't see the bios, he wouldn't know the scripts. the friendship would be natural from his perspective. how would he know otherwise? even if the relationship started out synthetic, i don't doubt that it became genuine. in the context of their world and perceptions, realistically speaking Barnaby probably wouldn't sense anything wrong.

the reminders to be best friends weren't for Barnaby.

they were for Wally.

i'm starting to suspect that Wally is Barnaby's best friend, but Barnaby isn't Wally's. i think that Wally's "best friend" is Home - or at least Wally has a closer connection to them / Home is more important to Wally than anyone else is.

i remember reading this livestream trivia (from theneighborhoodwatch's doc, if you haven't their resources yet what are you even doing?):

and i assumed it was for Barnaby's side of the relationship. but it's not, is it? it's Wally's? and it makes too much fucking Sense! it fits! i can see it perfectly! i can feel things slotting together in my mind due to this shift in perspective, and i'm scared

Barnaby probably thinks the relationship is natural, just like how he thinks he's a real person in a real world. Wally probably knows that the relationship is a role, just like how he knows he's a puppet in a false reality.

that leaves me wondering how much of it is genuine on Wally's side. i don't doubt that they really are friends, but how deep does that connection go? in the interview, Wally sounded excited/proud about having a best friend, but how much came from a place of feeling, and how much came from a place of Fulfilling The Role? how much of it is performative? how much of it is a mask?

i've been seeing everything differently. Barnaby poses for Wally the most because he has good balance and is good at staying still, not because of favoritism or because he's Wally's best friend. in the 14 (15 including the hidden halloween) audios, Barnaby consistently seeks out Wally and checks in on him. Wally seems more casual about their relationship than Barnaby is.

i'm worried that Wally values Home & You/Us over Barnaby. that Barnaby is second or third place in Wally's heart. that Wally means more to Barnaby than he means to Wally. after all, only one of them needed their relationship to be reinforced on a seemingly regular basis.

i'm confident that Wally cares about / loves Barnaby, but the question is how much? to what extent?

#IM SO FUCKING ILL. #and by worried i mean Frothing At The Mouth. that would hurt so good. it would be delicious #i mean. it makes so much fucking sense. it feels Right! #and oh the ways this could hurt barnaby #i already suspect he has some Internal insecurities and shit but. oh man. if this is true it would break his heart wouldnt it #he has his hearts on his palms but wally's hearts are hidden on the soles of his shoes.... #god. no this. this. i cant start ranting and raving about what this means for barnaby and how i think it might affect him #the picture all the pieces of What We Know About Him So Far paint #all i'll say is. comic relief characters are always a tragedy under the mask. #wh speculation #homebogging #wh theory #welcome home speculation #welcome home theory #the way i was losing my absolute shit in discord. Man. #i am continuously in premature mourning over barnaby. #eddie might be doomed by the narrative but barn is Screwed by the narrative #poor guy just can't catch a break #also the idea. the Concept. that wally might consider you/us a closer/dearer friend than barnaby #is. its. well its devastating and juicy as Fuck! #there's. there's so much to unpack here im gonna be honest #for the first time since getting into this project im feeling like im starting to see a cohesive picture #the implications. the connections. the way it ties into themes. man... oh man... And It Makes. Sense. #barnaby knows wally better than the other neighbors - Besides Home - but how much more? #does he think he knows more than he does? i mean absolutely. wally is still hardcore masking around him. #wally doesn't confide in him not really #but man. Man. oh i understand why completely. at least i like to think i do #oh boy this is gonna kill me and im gonna like it #i had this realization and i felt my neurons shift just a little. just Enough. FUCK #barnaby b beagle. baby. i am so sorry but you're gonna have a hell of a fucking time

[vaguely-concerned]

Thinking about the symbolic weight of smoking in the TLT universe that comes to the fore in The Unwanted Guest -- the way it moves through from person to person: Pyrrha smoked, and Augustine wanted to impress her in all her stone cold fox MILF James Bond glory (and tbf who wouldn't) so he started too. and even though as far as he knows she's been gone for a myriad and is never coming back, he keeps the habit. Ianthe sees something in the hollowed-out Faberge eggshell of Augustine that resonates with her, all that gilded eloquent emptiness and disdain through the ages, so she picked it up from him to try to emulate it. She picked it up so hard that Palamedes -- the exact spiritual antithesis of the 'smoking! on a space station! what a powermove' ennui Ianthe so admired -- spontaneously unnerded enough to even known how to, simply from a sort of contact contamination of the soul.

G1deon and Augustine sharing a jittery smoke after their near-Harrow experience during soup night, and it's the closest thing to any real sense of brotherhood that remains between them. Pyrrha going ten thousand years dying both literally and for a smoke (and then Camilla sold her fucking cigarettes (for a third of what they were worth, probably Pyrrha's own good, and also more importantly grocery money). what an entirely haunted time to be alive etc.). Augustine and Mercy trading a cigarette back and forth in the middle of their collusion over the love and murder of god.

An act of small and measured self-destruction in the name of something a little bit like connection when you're stuck somewhere in yourself where love itself dares not or cannot tread (ritualized, transmissible)..........

#the unwanted guest #the unwanted guest spoilers #the locked tomb #ianthe tridentarius #augustine the first #pyrrha dve #palamedes sextus #this series is going to make me lose my mind completely one day (affectionate) #the locked tomb meta #the fact that ianthe seems to have had some genuine admiration for augustine makes my head spin. of course though. #of course she sees the person who looks the most like he's successfully made himself impervious to the world #utterly untouchable and impossible to hurt because he isn't even really there #and she believes it! even after seeing the john mercy augustine mess at the end! because it's such a seductive idea #when you've stuck yourself in an inevitable ocean of pain to think you could make yourself numb enough that it doesn't matter #it's the emotional equivalent of 'oh there's water all around? well I just won't breathe in then. easy lmao get on my level' #she holds on to that thing from him even when it's been proved to be both impossible and ultimately untrue even in him #because uh. oh I'm about to be kind of sad for ianthe what the fuck is going on. he might actually have been the closest thing #to parental and especially paternal affection she's ever known. certainly known enough to try to model herself after #IMAGINE how fucked up the nine houses must be when augustine the first registers for anyone as a model of psychological survival #ianthe do you really want to be yourself completely so much that you're willing to be nothing. I mean yeah probably but. oh my god #gaining nothing at the cost of everything