#i love her a lot! to bits even!! but because of that same love i dont think i can capture the very... essence of the character y'know?
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No more of this (Lando Norris)
Lando is trying to stop the hurt of loosing you by getting ahead of it and (trying to) leave you first
Note: english is not my first language. It's angsty but has a good ending! ✨️ I took a bit of a gamble with this one, and I'm hoping it is still a good enough piece to read! This was from a request for which I had another idea whilst I was writing this one, so I might work on it if this truly is a bad take on it!
Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!
my masterlist
Cw: relationship troubles, miscommunication, anxiety symptoms, alludes to the passing of a family member and consequent inheritances
Tag list: @myloverjk-blog @hiireadstuff @c-losur3
Lando wasn't sure how long he had been in the room on his own, but he knew he didn't have it in him to leave soon.
He thought he wasn't enough, he was too much trouble for anyone around him, that's why no one is there for him right now.
He grabbed his phone and swiped the screen to check if the texts he sent you had gone through, but the lack of an answer from your part was simply that.
Not even Y/N cares about him or what he needs. Maybe he didn't word it in the right away? Surely, Y/N would have replied by now if he had written it down properly and not appeared like a clingy, needy child. Maybe he could send another one, just to make sure it is all alright.
To lovie ✨️
I'm sorry if that was a lot, but I just wanted to know how your day had been! I love you, sweet girl 🧡
There, all better.
The McLaren driver waited for your answer, hoping to make ammends from his previous tries.
Maybe she's busy, she has so much on her plate as well. She can't take care of Lando too. Lando wonders what his girlfriend would do if she knew you felt like this. If she found him lying in a bed, unable to move and startled by the idea of facing the outside? She would leave him right then and there. Y/N can only take so much and she's not going to take this.
The tears that fell went unoticed until they pooled on the pillow cover fabric, wetting it and dampening Lando's cheek and jaw.
The weight on his chest lightened when his phone vibrated.
From lovie ✨️
I'm so sorry, Lan - my phone was on silent because of the meeting with the notary and I forgot to turn it back up 🤦♀️
It has been a busy couple of days with the signings and handovers, but I can already see the end of it!
And how was your day, bubs?
I miss you loads and can't wait to kiss your handsome face 🧡 I love you 💖
There it goes, that wasn't so bad, right? She replied - she's safe, she has a reason why and she wrote I love you. Maybe all of that fuss was for nothing.
Lando quickly typed back a reply, hitting the button to send after reading it a couple of times to ensure it was good.
To lovie ✨️
It's okay, sweet girl, you don't have to worry! It's been same old, had a training session with Jon and then worked on the sim.
Can't wait for you to be home soon, I love you so much ❤️
You replied, that was all he needed. Everything is back to normal, the heartbeat has slowed down, the weight on the chest had been lifted, and breathing wasn't so hard anymore.
For now, anyway.
The last two days had been fine, good even - Lando spent the afternoon playing padel with Max Verstappen, streaming with Quadrant and even played golf on his own, relief washing over him when, despite being on his own, his thoughts didn't take him to the dark side like he expected them to.
You had FaceTimed every night and exchanged texts in the morning so there hadn't been any reason to worry - until now anyway.
When Max and Pietra told you they were flying to Monaco to spend the week there, you decided to postpone leaving for two days and take the flight with them instead.
You'd have to have reached the realisation that Lando is not the best you can do. You couldn't possibly be that blind.
Y/N knows you're he's not good enough, she knows she deserves so much more and now that she has property back home and a safe ground, she'll leave him before he knows it.
It builds up again, his breathing short and laboured while his heart speeds up, his hands unconsciously retreating into themselves and making fists as his nails graze his palm.
You are going to leave him.
Not if Lando leaves you first.
"This isn't even the worst flight we've had", Max reasoned once you landed in Nice, "you're really feeling it, aren't you?", he nudged your shoulder.
"It's just been a busy couple of weeks", you sighed, looking for your luggage on the carrousel, "I'm so glad it's all dealt with now and I can finally be home again", you smil3d tiredly.
"You mean you can finally be with Lando again", Pietra teased you.
"Can you blame me, though? I miss him so much I'm not sure I can keep away from him for long once I hug him", you admitted, spotting the bright blue luggage on the conveyor belt.
"Lando just texted me saying he is by the informative screens", Max offered, grabbing his and Pietra's luggage and leaving the way out of the busy airport.
Once you spotted your boyfriend, you hastened your pace to approach him, leaving the luggage on the side so you could jump into his embrace.
"Hey, my love, I missed you so much", Lando held you impossibly tight to him, nipping on the skin of your neck and inhaling your scent.
Y/N is back, she's here.
"Me too, baby", you said, kissing his neck multiple times, "I'm so glad to be home", you mumbled, pulling a smile out of him before you kissed his lips.
"One could argue we are here too, but we're clearly not that important", Max joked, patting Lando's back where he could given that you were clinging to him like a koala.
"The car is in the -2 Parking zone", Lando offered, grabbing your luggage and walking behind his bestfriend and his girlfriend while keeping you close to him.
For now, this would have to suffice before things changed forever.
The whole drive back to Lando's apartment involved light chatter and catching up on the past few weeks.
"I think we should go out, enjoy some of the night life while you still can", Max slapped Lando's shoulder once you had settled in and unpacked.
"I can get us entrances", the Formula One driver agreed, grabbing his phone before he went through his contacts.
Once the entrances and the dinner reservations were secured, the four of you took turns in showering and getting ready, Lando never letting you leave his sight for long.
"You look beautiful, lovie", Lando complimented, watching your shake out the curls you had done on your hair.
"Thank you, bubs - you look really handsome too, I love it when you wear all black", you mused, taking his hand and kissing his knuckles gently.
It was all good. You didn't seem mad or upset with him, in the contrary actually - like he felt, you too were a bit needy for his touch and to have him close to you, offering him reassuring words and sweet nothings every time you could. Maybe his thoughts were a lie. Some of them have been, maybe those were too.
The dinner was lovely and you were able to walk to the club you'd be spending the night in, getting drinks first before finding the area you were staying in. Lando was quickly pulled by the DJ on the booth, recognising him from previous nights out, while you, Max and Pietra stayed where you were.
He was enjoying himself before he noticed you were chatting with someone else, remembering him from your friend's birthday.
He has a girlfriend who is Y/N's friend, Lando has nothing to worry about.
Until he does.
He doesn't miss the way you hug him or the way you engage in light chat with him, all smiles and cheers.
You deserve someone who is always there for you, who can be present and make you smile like that all the time, and he knows he's not the person for the job.
"I'm going back down to my group - thanks for the invite", Lando shook his hand before pulling the DJ for a quick hug, making his way to you and your friends.
"Hey, love, you're back!", you smiled with a big wave to beckon him over, lacing your hand in his as soon as you were close enough, "you remember Marvin, right?".
"Yes, hi, how are you?", he mused, shaking his hand before protectively placing his arm around your waist.
Marvin had to leave to go be with his friend group as since then, you noticed Lando seemed weird. He was usually the life of the party and he always enjoyed himself in these environments, so to see him just stand there and sway his head to the music was a foreign sight.
"Dance with me, baby", you put your back to his chest, letting his hand hold you by your waist still while you swayed your bodies.
"I love you, Y/N, never forget that", he mumbled spontaneously after a while, kissing your cheek multiple times before hiding your face in your neck.
"I love you too, Lan, so much", you replied back as that was the last clue that something was going on.
A couple hours later, and after you had been sat at the booth for quite a bit, you told Lando that you felt a little tired, Max and Pietra agreeing with you that all the travelling had caught up with you, so you made your way out and back to his apartment.
"Have a goodnight, guys", you waved as Max helped his girlfriend into the room, the blonde woman having already fallen asleep on the way.
"Are you feeling better, Y/N?", Lando wondered as he watched you put your heels back in their spot once you stepped inside your bedroom and closed the door behind you.
You debated telling him the truth, but your relationship has been built in honesty and trust about everything, so the course to take was obvious, "Actually", you began, "I am totally fine, but I noticed you weren't great, you didn't seem that happy and I thought we could talk about it , if you'd like", you suggested, "or we could sleep, I'm fine with either, but I hope you choose the one that makes you feel better", you smiled.
The smile quickly vanished when Lando got up from the bed, his body language tight and tense, "now you care about me? Now you want to know if I'm okay or if I'm doing what makes me happy? All after I felt like shit and had to deal with things on my own?", Lando mused, taking you aback with such words.
"Lando, baby, what do you mean with that?", you asked.
"You were here and I was there, and then I have been here while you've been back home and you haven't been there for me", Lando spat, "I just wanted you by my side, I needed you and you weren’t there for me", he concluded. The anger previously in his tone was replaced by sadness and a hint of shame even.
"Lando, it's not like I have been on vacation purposefully away from you - there have been matters that my family needed me to take care of as there wasn't anyone else to take that responsibility! I don't understand where this is coming from - if I wasn't with you it's because I really couldn't be there!", you argued.
"It's... I can't do this right now", Lando looked up as tears started brimming his eyes.
"It seems not", you defended yourself, feeling the hints of accusation and the lack of flexibility and empathy from your boyfriend, "excuse me", you offered, grabbing your pyjamas and leaving your shared bedroom.
The accusations you threw to one another were heard by your guests as Max looked for you while you adjusted the living room sofa so that it could turn into a single bed, not needing the full sized mattress since you'd be clearly sleeping alone.
"What are you doing here?", Max wondered.
"You don't need to pretend you didn't hear that", you shrugged your shoulders before wiping your cheeks with your thumb, pulling on the sheet so the corner wouldn't fly off during the night.
"I can't take the guest room when you are sleeping here, Y/N", Max offered, pulling your hand so you would get up.
"I'm fine, it's not like I'm counting on getting that much sleep", you mumbled, sitting down against the cushions.
"You two are going to sort it out", Max gulped, "you always do, Y/N", sitting down next to you.
"Do you think we will?", you muttered, the weight of the words leaving your mouth settling in the possibility, "did he tell you anything? I'm at a loss at where all of this has come from", you offered your perspective.
"You're Lando and Y/N - there is no way in this world that you don't make it work. You are meant to be, no matter whatever turn you took in your life or whatever decisions you could've taken differently, you and Lando were supposed to meet in every single one of them", Max comforted as he rubbed your back, letting you rest your head on his shoulder.
"Things are so messed up between us", you tutted at your boyfriend's earlier words and the disbelief that this was happening.
"Lando has been under a lot of pressure lately", Max offered, "I know his words hurt you and I'm certainly not justifying them, but he's... He just wants to be his best self for you, and between his family issues and this season's prospects, not having you with him there has shaken the foundation he thought was his steady self".
"I didn't notice it - yay for the bad girlfriend points!", you jokingly cheered before groaning, "I need out of this day".
"That's why you should go to the spare bedroom to sleep it off, Y/N", Max sternly said, "and you're not a bad girlfriend for this, not at all".
"I'm staying here, I told you", you stated, "you go and take that spare room, P is probably asleep on the bed already", you giggled, "I'll be fine".
"Tomorrow is a new day and a new opportunity for a fresh outlook of this whole situation", Max tapped his thighs before getting up, "Good night, Y/N".
"Good night, Max", you waved as he turned off the ceiling lights and closed the French doors that separated the living room from the dining room and the rest of the apartment.
Lando tossed and turned around for what felt like the hundredth time since he laid down on the mattress.
His words didn't come out the way he wanted them to.
But maybe it was for the best.
He didn't want to hurt you, and that is both a burden and a guilt that he will carry for the rest of his life.
She'll never forgive him. Not now that he's really shown how messed up and broken he is. How the playful, giggly boyfriend she was with is now a shell of a poor excuse of a man. He had been spending the nights alone since you were gone, but now that he knew you were - hopefully - still somewhere in the apartment and not next to him, the weight on his chest couldn't be heavier. It gets harder to breathe, and the thoughts don't stop.
He's lost the best person in his life because these insecurities got the best of him. Once again, he's letting them win and take charge of his life.
Lando sits up and holds the pillow you usually sleep with, trying to catch a small whiff of your scent that still lingers there and usually calms him down.
He's done something really bad. Maybe this was him. This was who he was nowadays and he was truly doing you the favour of letting you out before it got too bad.
When Lando wakes up after sleeping for what feels like a long nap, only Max is up as he steps into the kitchen.
"Morning", Lando muttered, not sure where to pick up from what he knows his bestfriend heard only a couple of hours ago.
"Morning, mate! P is feeling the hangover, so she'll be out for a while! Let's go on a run, it will do us both good", he put his hands on Lando's shoulders and patting them.
Lando groans and looks longingly at the living room, noticing the closed doors, wondering if you were still asleep.
Such an ass he is, letting his girlfriend sleep on the sofa.
Lando and Max run the usual distance, stopping to stretch at the little park area near his apartment, and because it's still early, there is no one else around but them and an older man walking his dog.
"Will you tell me what's going on with you and Y/N? Because by the looks of it, you really should talk to someone about it", Max stated. There wasn't a chance that Lando could run away from this, figuratively or literally, so he explained to his bestfriend what had been going on his mind.
"Do you think I am someone worthy of her? Y/N deserves so much better than me, so it's best if she leaves me first", Lando concluded.
"If she leaves you first, what?! Do you think it won't hurt you? Or her? Is that what this is all about?", Max argued, "you're seriously telling me that the only way you see a solution for this is to break up with her because you're so sure she wants to break up with you?! This is ridiculous, Lando!!".
"Of course it will hurt, Max! I love that girl with everything I have and I can't bear the thought of disappointing her, of her having less than she deserves, and I also can't even think about her leaving me! The anticipation that any moment she could say those words has been killing me!", he admitted outloud for the first time.
"Lando, that girl loves you with every bone of her body, do you really think she is going to break up with you?", Max sighed, "your mind is lying to you and it pains me to see the way it's doing it to you and the people around you".
"I'm not where I should be, these thoughts are consuming me left and right and I can't tell apart what is real and what my mind is catastrophising ", Lando agreed.
"Lando, people can't help you if you don't tell them you're feeling like that", Max stated, both sternly and empathetically, "and there are so many people that care about you".
They sit in silence in the bench as Lando ponders his words and Max replays them on his head.
"Is that what is going on in your head, though? That Y/N is going to leave you, and so you're getting ahead of it by breaking up with her?", Max mused.
"When you say it like that, it sounds so stupid and the opposite of what I want to do", Lando scoffed at himself, "but everything is aligned to it - she can do so much better for herself, and it's stupid I know, but my mind goes on and on about this and it almost never quietens down", he gulped.
"Y/N doesn't want to leave you, Lando, that's another lie you're telling yourself", Max offered, "she loves you and you deserve eachother because you're it, you're the endgame and you can work through this, but she needs to know".
"I know - sometimes I do anyway, I think", Lando chuckled lightly at his own joke, "we need to go home, I need to speak with Y/N".
"Indeed you do", Max agreed, getting up and following him to the apartment.
Pietra was already up and in the kitchen when the boys arrived, pecking her boyfriend's lips and looking at Lando, "Y/N's up, we have had breakfast and she went back to the living room while I was in the shower", she informed as Lando nodded.
"Can I come in?", Lando asked after knocking on the door.
"Yes, it's your apartment after all", you mused as he stepped inside
"No, Y/N", Lando groaned, "this is our place, my love, and there's something I need to tell you, many things in fact", he added.
"You should start then", you patted the spot next to the mattress where you had spent the night.
"I love you, Y/N, so much, that was never a question, and it was because I love you so much that every now and again, I have these thoughts that I'm not good enough for you, that I can't give you what you deserve and that you'd be better off with someone else, or without me", he took a big breath in, "I just wanted to be my best self for you, and it all comes crashing and building up and up and I can't shut the noise down".
"Lando, you could've told me, I would've helped, try to do my best in helping you so you weren't carrying this on your own", you offered, your hand crawling to his so you could hold it in yours.
"I hated that I needed you that much because you also have your own life and you don't want to be next to me every waking second. In my head, you shouldn't have to deal with me being needy of feeling like this", he admitted.
"And I'll be, I don't care what you need or say, Lando, I'm going to be here for you, I don't have to go back for a while now, so I'll be where you need me", you offered, "and, Lando, you could never be too much for me, you could never make me feel like I can do better because every day I thank my lucky stars that we're together and that you feel the same love I feel for you", you cupped his face, "you deserve so much, Lando Norris, and I'll work everyday to prove you that you're worthy of love and care and that things going on here are sometimes a lie", you kissed his forehead.
"I don't deserve having you, I yelled at you for no reason", Lando mumbled.
"There was a reason, and it would take me a lot more than you yelling at me when you're stressed and worried, but I'd also like to know whatever is happening when it is happening so I can help, or we can seek out professional help too", you rubbed his cheeks with your thumbs.
No one had ever fought for him like this. He's used to be the one to prove to people that they belong in his life and that's he's all in, not the other way around since, once every time his partners start to feel like it's too much once the honeymoon phase fades out and regular, day-to-day troubles show up notice it getting serious, they flee.
"We'll do this together, lovie", Lando muttered against your lips as he looked into your eyes, "I'm sorry I doubted you when in reality you are the one who's always stuck with me", he smiled, kissing your lips.
#lando norris imagine#lando norris x reader#lando norris fanfic#lando norri fic#lando norris x you#lando norris angst#lando norris fluff#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fluff#f1 angst#f1 x you#f1 fic#f1 fanfic
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JUST A THEORY | Spencer Reid x Reader
Request: congratulations on 2k!!! you deserve that and so much more your writing is incredible! 🥳🥳🥳 if I could jump in with a request could I ask for a Spencer x reader fic where the reader is a journalist/reporter looking into a case as well and they cross paths? I think the tension and bickering would be so fun
Description: There's something about that agent Jennifer brought along with her that pushes every single one of your buttons
Length: 1.6k
warnings: general cm violence, probably not em's best work
“You know this could be considered obstructing a federal investigation,” Spencer huffed, trying to look over your shoulder where you skimmed the book in your hands with meticulous eyes. You ignored him, continuing to read the information despite feeling his burning glare in the back of your head, his breath on your neck as he shadowed your figure around the building.
“You know the best part about a public library, Doctor Reid? It’s public,” You drawled back, your eyes never ripping from the page except to make a few notes of some key information for your article, “Which means I have every right to be in here just as much as you do,”
You heard him run a hand over his face and tried not to smirk at how easy he was to agitate. You’d heard a lot about the BAU, almost every criminology based paper in Virginia had, and so it wasn’t too surprising to meet the brains behind the reputation when three women had been murdered in the FBI’s home town. Every press association that was worth their money was all over the story, ‘How could this have happened so close to the capital in a city crawling with agents?’, which made your job just that bit more competitive and taxing.
Yet luckily for you, you knew exactly where to go snooping for answers. It just so happened, the BAU’s resident genius did too.
“I guarantee it would be easier for both of us if you just give me the book first. I can read ten times faster than you,” He snipped, still a pup at your heels where you wandered through the aisles of non-fiction, the white lettering hanging above the shelves spelling PSYCHOLOGY. You rolled your eyes at his persistence, ignoring his attitude as you rounded the corner at the end of the row and looped back to where you’d picked up the book, the man still over your shoulder.
“Didn’t your mother ever tell you you’re not supposed to talk in libraries?” You hissed back, flicking the page over and hearing his footsteps move in tandem with your own, “I guess you’re just going to have to wait and let the professionals work,”
You hid a grin, hearing him pause at that, remembering the first day you’d been assigned the story.
It started only a week ago. The newest victim had been found in the woods, stabbed seven times the same as the other two, her entire body washed in strong bleach, her hair and nails trimmed and ears even swabbed clean. You’d managed to get five minutes to sit with her parents, your pen and trusted notebook at the ready.
“Why don’t you tell me about what Clara was like as a kid?” You said softly, eyes comforting and calm as you spoke over coffee that was quickly going cold. But you didn’t care.
You didn’t do this part for ‘the story’. At least not the end of the story, the gory bits and pieces that the other news anchors focused on, how the women were brutalised and beaten, changed by a murderer until they looked unrecognisable. You didn’t like to focus on that, because that wasn’t who the victims were.
You wanted to tell their story. Who they were before something awful happened to them.
“She loved to dance,” Clara’s mother, Gwen, sniffled, her cheeks sodden with salted tears. Her voice quivered, croaked like it begged not to be used, but the saddest smile spread on her face when she said it, her husband’s hands clasped tightly in her own, “She used to ask to wear her leotard to bed; we couldn't get that thing off her,”
You smiled, eyes falling to the pictures the parents had spread across the table in their haste to find the best one for the missing posters. Gwen seemed to follow your eyeline and grabbed one in particular, handing it over to you, gently thumbing the edges like that too might disappear. A little girl, black hair as silken as fresh ink stared back at you, her hands poised delicately above her head like the professional ballerina’s you'd seen on TV, her feet laced into pink pumps. The way she should be remembered, not the images you’d seen of her at the crime scene.
You opened your mouth to speak again when two agents entered the room. Jennifer Jareau, who you’d worked with on multiple stories like this one to give the families the empathy they deserved, smiled at you civilly, somewhat guilty knowing she was stepping on your toes. Beside her stood a taller man in a matching FBI jacket, his hazelnut curls falling over his frown.
“Mr and Mrs Townsen,” He addressed the couple solemnly, who looked up at him through red rimmed eyes, their sockets sallow and empty, “We need to ask you a few questions about the last few days you saw Clara before she went missing,”
He flashed his credentials in his right hand, long enough for them to see it was real, and looked to you with a stern stare.
The couple glanced back to you, the picture still grasped tightly in your fingers, as you flicked a tight look between Jennifer and the new agent carefully.
“Just one moment,” You told the grieving parents softly, handing the picture back to Gwen, standing to move to one side with the analysts, immediately turning towards Jennifer with confusion, “I thought you said I had until twelve?”
“I’m sorry, I wouldn’t interrupt if it wasn’t important,” The liaison said cordially, the two of you somewhat acquaintances after emailing back and forth for so long. She liked that you didn’t see the bodies as dollar signs, and you liked that she wanted the same as you; to tell the victims stories the way they should be told.
Sighing, you wrapped up your notepad, delicately pushing the pen through the wire spine. “Can I get an interview with the second family at least? Daily Press was all over that story, and they made an absolute joke of it,”
“That’s a little hypocritical of you,” The other agent piped up, and your head snapped to him. Eyes roving over his figure, brows furrowing when you realised what he’d said. You looked back to his face in annoyance.
“Excuse me?” You snipped, crossing your arms over your chest, your notepad brushing against your ribs.
“I’m just saying, you all get paid for what you write, so it's just as exploitive to write about the victims than it is to write about the crimes,” He shrugged, eyes narrowing when you shifted your weight onto your other foot and raised a brow at him.
“Unlike you,” Your gaze fell to his badge he still had to hand, “Doctor Reid, I see those women as real people, not just little pictures on a white board. They’re not just dead girls to me, and they’re certainly not just money grabs,”
Spencer went to retaliate again before JJ put a hand on both your elbows, drawing the attention away from your little spat.
“We can talk about this later, right now we have an UnSub on the loose that is quickly devolving,” She chided the two of you like you were school children, and you sighed, biting your cheek to stop yourself from snapping back at the man.
“What does that mean?” You asked quietly, well aware of the grieving parents sitting little more than a few yards from where you stood bickering.
“It means you’re going to have to wait and let the professionals work,” Spencer cleared, pushing past your shoulder as he went to sit with the Townsens, his eyes swirling into something new and kind and reassuring as he looked at them, a Jekyll and Hyde to the hostility he had towards you.
You could only suck your teeth in annoyance, before Jennifer pulled you further into the dining room to discuss rearrangements.
Spencer blanked as he watched you skim reading the textbook, his own words thrown back in his face in an infuriatingly clever move on your part. With little more to say, knowing wit and barking orders would get him nowhere because he couldn’t exactly arrest you for not giving him public property, he resorted to begging.
“Please, give me the book,” He said, the desperation buried in his sigh, and you swivelled on your heels, a devilish grin on your face that had him fighting back an eye roll.
“Oh, would you look at that? I’m finished,” You said, handing him the files you were reading, passing them over to him with a smirk and he found himself almost smiling at your sarcasm.
Taking the book out of your hand, he debated saying thank you, but instead bit his lip because he'd found you were somewhat incorrigible when you were getting deeper in a story.
Turning on his heels to check out the book so he could take it back to headquarters, he stopped when you spoke, just a few decibels louder than the ‘Talk Quietly’ sign demanded.
“Agalmatophilia,” You murmured, and he whipped a look over his shoulders where you were skimming the shelves for a second textbook, seeing as your first one had been commandeered, “The sexual attraction to dolls and mannequins. I know you guys speculated he has some form of OCD but I think it's Agalmatophilia,” You said, drawing a book off the shelf without really looking up to where his brow furrowed in familiarity with the word. He glanced at you then, and you flicked open the page of contents, feeling his eyes boring into the side of your head, muttering under your breath absent-mindedly, “Just a theory,”
You’d shut him up the entire way back to headquarters.
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds x reader#matthew grey gubler x reader
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I hate a lot of trends in climate-change-aware nature writing, but this is one I particularly detest: works insisting that we live in a "post-natural" world.
The lostness, bewilderment, aching, and searching in this piece is understood by the author to be an all-consuming and universal dysphoria, when it is actually a highly specific predicament that the author put himself into: He tried to understand the universe exclusively through the point of view of white people.
I mean that Purdy takes the colonizer point of view without realizing that it is a colonizer point of view. He thinks the colonizer point of view is a universal document of the authentic, naive encounter of "humanity" with "nature," instead of burning wreckage left over from the apocalyptic destruction of a rainbow of ideas and cultures.
It feels weird to be talking about this as a white person, but it shouldn't, any more than it should feel weird to say (as a white person) that aliens didn't build the pyramids.
Very little of what he's writing about would exist or make sense without European colonization of the world. Purdy constantly says "we" and "our" in reference to things that are very restricted to a particular cultural point of view, as if totally oblivious to the idea that other cultures and other perspectives even exist. When he searches for historical references to chart "human" relationship with nature, history goes like this: Pre-Christian religion in the British Isles->British monarchy-> George Washington-> Industrial Revolution->Thoreau.
He manages to repeatedly stumble over giant hunks of colonialism embedded in every concept he's thinking about, like boulders obstructing a pathway, and pretends so hard that they don't exist that his points are janky and meandering. For example, his discussion of Helen Macdonald's book H for Hawk, touching upon human identification with the landscape and with non-human "nature," blunders into this:
Those who love (certain parts of) nature are often making a point of preferring it to (certain kinds of) human beings. The problem is not only literary. Macdonald describes an encounter with a retired couple who join her in admiring a valley full of deer, then remark how good it is to see “a real bit of Old England still left, despite all these immigrants coming in.” She does not reply, but is miserable afterward. The meaning of landscapes is always someone’s meaning in particular.
Confronted with all of this, Macdonald tries to shake off the complicities of her own identification with the terrain: “I wish that we would not fight for landscapes that remind us of who we think we are. I wish we would fight, instead, for landscapes buzzing and glowing with life in all its variousness.” The alternative that Macdonald wishes for is, of course, not an escape from political-cultural projection onto landscape, but another approach to that same practice — really, the only one a 21st-century cosmopolitan is likely to feel comfortable embracing.
AND THEN HE JUST SEGUES INTO THE NEXT POINT LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED. Like don't worry about it :) We will simply project onto landscapes in a non-racist way :) because we aren't racist anymore in the 21st century :)
The next book he discusses is Landmarks by Robert MacFarlane, which is basically about how the vocabulary of landscape in English is sterilized and monoculturized, and contrasts that with Scots Gaelic. This is how Purdy explains the thesis of the book:
Our sense of what lies outside ourselves has been blunted by “capital, apathy, and urbanization” — enemies likely to draw a range of friends, from cultural Marxists to Little Englanders to those who would like to see a bit more effort, please. But behind this scholarly sketch, Macfarlane’s work is testament to a pretheoretical obsession with unfamiliar ways of encountering places. We disenchanted and distracted (post)moderns describe terrain, he complains, in terms of “large, generic units” such as “field,” “hill,” “valley,” and “wood." (...) Many people who have lived intimately with landscapes have had words for nuances of form, texture, and use. Macfarlane’s purpose in Landmarksis to gather these words as proof of how precisely it is possible to name a place, and so, perforce, to know it.
Why is Gaelic endangered? Because of an effort to extinguish its speakers' culture. This article I found on it talks about the history of the language's decline, and it's strikingly similar to what happened to indigenous people in the Americas and Australia, with children being put in schools where they were beaten with sticks for speaking their native language.
This whole essay is about Purdy's general disappointment with nature writing, his craving for an ineffable Something, some sort of magical, primitive identification with the natural world. In the very first paragraph he claims that the pictures of animals on nursery walls are "totemic" and quotes a guy saying that zoos are an "epitaph" to the relationship between people and animals. It's never very clear what he means, but he uses the term "animism" repeatedly, such as when he says this about MacFarlane's goal in writing Landmarks:
His quarry is an animistic sense that Barry Lopez once identified in “the moment when the thing — the hill, the tarn . . . ceases to be a thing, and becomes something that knows we are there."
Given that ambition, Landmarks, which Macfarlane calls a “counter-desecration phrasebook,” can be disappointingly thin as a lexicon. Too many of the terms are simply dialect or Gaelic for some generic form, such as “slope,” “hilltop,” “stream,” or “tuft of grass.” The effect is less pointing out how many things there are to see than cataloguing how many names there are for the same thing.
This is Purdy missing the point, perfectly crystallized as though frozen in amber. He is oblivious to the clear subtext of a language showing a culture's connection to its home, and of the violence against that culture. The Gaelic language doesn't make him feel primal and mystical the way he wants it to, therefore it doesn't mean anything to him. MacFarlane doesn't make him feel a magic animistic connection to nature, therefore his book must have failed at its task.
Who gives a shit? Gaelic isn't FOR you.
He discusses another book about a guy that hikes a bunch of Cherokee trails, but I don't know what to say about that one, observing it through the sludge of the reviewer's unwillingness to recognize that historical context exists. He summarizes his disappointment in a confusing way, using the Gaelic language as a symbol for an obscure and inaccessible place where the answer to your personal emotional cravings lives (???) Then he talks about a kind of epistemicide, or extinction of knowing, of nature, but again, totally oblivious to any relationship to colonization.
Every inhabited continent has been denuded of ecosystems and species. Most North American places have shed wolves, elk, moose, brown bears, panthers, bison, and a variety of fish and wild plants, which were all abundant four hundred years ago.
Wow, I wonder what happened four hundred years ago?
This writing acts like the dominant Eurocentric attitude towards the world is universal, but the author is haunted by this nameless specter of the possibility of a different way of thinking, which he treats as some kind of mystical, primordial state hidden in the past instead of just a different cultural perspective.
Not only does he not recognize that his own cultural perspective of Nature is dysfunctional and unsatisfying because it was created by exploitation and genocide of other cultures and their symbiotic relationships, he acts like other perspectives don't exist. Take his perspective on forests and the mycorrhizal network:
Wohlleben’s emphasis on interdependence and mutual aid is part of a recent tendency to recast nature in an egalitarian fashion — as cooperative, nonindividualist, and, often enough, hybrid and queer, in contrast to the oaks of generals and kings. Nature does answer faithfully to the imaginative imperatives and limitations of its observers, so it was inevitable that after centuries of viewing forests as kingdoms, then as factories (and, along the way, as cathedrals for Romantic sentiment), the 21st century would discover a networked information system under the leaves and humus, what Wohlleben calls, with an impressive lack of embarrassment, a “wood wide web.”
Listen, I don't think this is accurate to how Europeans thought of forests throughout time, let alone "humanity" in general. The emphasis of power and competition in ecosystems emerged after Darwin, in collusion with capitalism and "race science." Trees have been symbols of life, wisdom and selflessness, and regarded as sacred or even sentient, for centuries before that. But on top of that, this is just blatantly pretending that only white people's ideas count as ideas.
It's the same dreck as all the other "literary" writing about climate change: self-pityingly and unproductively mourning "Nature" and a fantasized "wild" state of the Earth, ignoring colonialism, treating human influence of any kind on other life forms as something that either destroys them or makes them soft and "tame."
I'm tired of reading nature writing from people that obviously do not go outside, or if they do, they do it in such a suffocatingly regimented, goal-oriented way that they can't just sit outside and relax.
Maybe I shouldn't be such a hater if I want to do nature writing. But my love of nature is WHY I am a hater.
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passenger princess || mackenzie arnold x reader ||
sometimes, you wish that mackenzie would let you drive.
"come on, we're gonna be late!" you shouted at mackenzie. the two of you both had media to do, and mackenzie had taken all morning getting ready. you thought that she looked absolutely stunning, but you didn't want to get yelled at for missing your required media.
"your chariot awaits," mackenzie said as she opened the passenger's side door for you.
"mac, babe, i love you, but i think that i should drive today," you tried to tell her. it was really no use because mackenzie obviously didn't want to listen. she always got like this whenever you suggested driving the two of you somewhere.
you had grown up in the city, and while mackenzie had been there for a good amount of time, she wasn't a local. mackenzie didn't know all of the shortcuts and side roads that would cut your travel time down by a third. and so, the two of you truged into the training facilities about 10 minutes late.
"sorry boss, traffic was horrible." mackenzie was quick to diffuse your coach and the media team's ire towards the two of you. they didn't seem too annoyed with mackenzie, but that same courtesy wasn't extended towards you. mac was their world class goalkeeper, and you were just another midfielder that they had gotten cheap. you had come up with a team that had come up during a relegation swap. whenever they went right back down the next season, you had joined west ham instead.
"we could have gotten here sooner if someone would have let me drive," you said. a few of your teammates started snickering behind you, as did mackenzie. you turned to glare at all of them, but the look that you sent your girlfriend was a bit more hurt.
"don't take it personally babe, but you're just not the driving type. you look too pretty in my passenger's seat." mackenzie was trying to be sweet, but it didn't work. she placed her fingers underneath your chin to tilt it up and kiss you, but you turned your face at the last second. a chorus of 'ooo's rang out from your teammates as you stormed out of the locker room.
the media bit was a little intense after that. mackenzie had only been joking, and her attempt at an apology had been brushed off. she didn't mean to upset you. driving wasn't something that she thought would be such a big deal for the two of you. she just liked doing things for you, and since you were normally very independent, this was one of the few things she had the opportunity to even attempt.
"are you ready to go back home?" mackenzie asked as the two of you made your way towards the parking lot.
"i'm not going home with you tonight," you told her. mackenzie's face fell immediately at the news. you hadn't been back to your apartment in two months, having stayed at mackenzie's. your lease was going to be up soon, and your roommate was in talks with a new transfer about moving in. however, you still had a couple of weeks before that happened.
"no!" mackenzie shouted. you winced at the loudness in such a close proximity. mackenzie's face softened a bit as she grabbed you by the arm and tugged you towards the car. "you don't live there, you live with me. we always go home together, you know this. did what i say really upset you this much?"
"it's not just the passenger princess jokes, mac. it's also not just you. i don't want all the girls and the staff to think that i can't do anything for myself. you don't hear all the jokes and comments. i swear that some of them think i can't do anything for myself." mackenzie's face fell as she saw how genuinely worked up you were getting over this. it went a lot further than she had known, and suddenly, mackenzie felt absolutely terrible that you'd been holding in these feelings for so long by yourself.
"hey, (y/n), look at me." mackenzie grabbed your face and leaned in close enough for you to feel her breath against your cheek. "i am sorry for making you feel bad. i am sorry for letting things get so out of hand. i know that you're independent. hell, you do practically everything for me, and driving you around, it feels like the only thing i can offer to help you out. if you want to drive us back, you can, just please come home with me. i don't want to spend a single night without you if i don't have to."
"mac, baby?"
"yeah?" mackenzie seemed scared, as if you were going to tell her that you still wanted to go back to your own apartment. a night in with mackenzie, even whenever you were mad at her, was better than a night in with your roommate any day.
"take me home," you told her. mackenzie's shoulders sagged down a little with relief. you pressed a quick kiss to her lips and threaded your fingers with hers. the two of you walked through the parking lot together towards mackenzie's car. she got the door for you, absolutely beaming when you kissed her cheek in thanks. "can we stop by tesco's on the way home?"
"of course. i'll take you anywhere you want to go." mackenzie grabbed onto your hand and kissed the back of it. you let out a little giggle and settled back into your seat. there wasn't any tension in the car, which you were beyond grateful for.
mackenzie pushed the cart for you in the store, following as you walked around picking out seemingly random things. some of it was groceries that you had noticed earlier needed to be replenished, but quite a bit of the things you were buying weren't things that you normally bought at all. mackenzie didn't bring it up, assuming that it was for some sort of surprise at home.
"can i get some assistance from my favorite sous chef?" you asked mackenzie. she looked up from the couch to see you standing in the entryway of the kitchen holding an apron that you had bought her as a joke. mackenzie could cook, but she rarely did outside of using the grill every other weekend during the summer months.
"i don't know what you're making," mackenzie told you. you brushed it off and helped her into the apron. you gave very clear directions and within the hour, you had a homemade sauce simmering for a spaghetti night.
"how does it taste?" you watched nervously as mackenzie tasted a bit of the sauce.
"if football doesn't work out, you should open a restaurant," mackenzie told you. you moved to press a kiss to her cheek as thanks, unsurprised when mackenzie turned so your lips landed on hers. her hands grabbed at your waist, squeezing gently as she deepened the kiss. "better yet, i'll keep you on as my personal chef. and i can be your chauffeur if you'd like."
"sounds good to me. now, go set the table, the food is almost ready." you gave mackenzie a gentle shove away from you. mackenzie blew you a kiss as she carried the plates and silverware out to the dining room table. mackenzie sat excitedly at the table when you got out there, right next to the place that she set for you. she spent the whole meal practically just staring at you, often to the point of spilling a bit of her sauce on herself every other bite. it was ridiculous, but another reminder of why it was so easy to love mackenzie sometimes.
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HOHENZOLLERN ALLEE 72-76
a German-inspired 1950s apartment build + a furnished flat
A build download that was in the works for almost a month and made me realise how much I love building local architecture even though it's not the easiest within the constraints of TS4.
It's meant to represent a realistic German apartment build, that is a bit run down and yet still feels homey and nostalgic to those of us growing up near or in these buildings. There's one furnished flat that is ideal for 2-3 sims and furnished in a retro 60s-90s look, that I hope you'll enjoy! This is also a BIG 1K followers gift, with which I want to show my deepest appreciation to all my followers, thank you so much!!
More info, screenshots + DL link behind the cut!
First a little history/backstory to this build:
This build is something you'd see very often in Middle to Northern Europe, less so in the UK, because brick builds there look similar but also different and I based my build off of Northern German brick builds.
The red brick used for these builds dominates the townscapes in quite a few cities where I live and has been used for a few centuries (see Brick Gothic). This build that I based on a real building, however, is more modern and was probably built after WW2, as the design choices, like using tiles on the facades of brick builds is something distinctively 1950s. I know there are older examples, but these buildings usually have more design and decor elements on the facades. These red brick builds were built en masse starting with the 1920s and were usually meant for low-income households. The same goes for the 1950s brick builds, which were built on top of ruins of older buildings destroyed in the war and oftentimes were cheaply constructed and usually don't receive the same appreciation that older pre-war brick builds get, so quite a few are already being demolished for more modern builds.
So what do you get with this build?
Hohenzollernallee 72-76 is a 40x30 lot that I placed in Evergreen Harbor on the Sprucewood Square lot. I created 2 versions of the building, one as a normal residential lot and another as a residential rental. Just choose whatever you want! There are 6 different flats, that have been renovated at different times, which is apparent from the condition of their kitchen and bathroom.. Each flat has its own basement room and the garden is shared between all tenants and there's a shared laundry room in the basement as well.
You'll also have a restaurant shell, the Burger Lab that is not functional currently, but you could make it so if you want.
The furnished flat is playtested and ideal for 2-4 sims max and is heavily 'lived in', meaning very cluttered. I personally see an older woman living there, whose husband already died and her daughter left as soon she turned 18, but the interior was never changed or renovated. I don't know, you could probably come up with a lot of story ideas!
CC is mostly included. You'll find an Excel file with the specific file names and the dl link for all CC that is not included. The build will probably still look okay-ish without the excluded CC but I strongly recommend downloading it, if you do not already have it.
Thank you, especially to these lovely creators: @budgie2budgie, @sforzinda, @surely-sims, @pluto-sims, @syboubou.
@myshunosun, @charlypancakes, @peacemaker-ic, @kkbsmm, @leaf-motif
@awingedllama, @kirsicca, @baufive, @lumenniveus, @kiwisim4 and many more!! it's because of you that this build looks the way it does <3
Uses items from the following packs: For Rent, Growing Together, High School Years, Cottage Living, Snowy Escape, Eco Lifestyle, Discover University, Island Living, Get Famous, Seasons, Cats and Dogs, City Living, Get Together, Get To Work, Werewolves, My Wedding Stories, Dreamhome Decorator, Strangerville, Vampires, Dine Out, Tiny Living, Laundry Day, Backyard Stuff, (Kits): Party Essentials, Basement Treasures, Greenhouse Haven, Bathroom Clutter, Everyday Clutter, Desert Luxe, Little Campers, Décor to the Max, Industriel Loft & Courtyard Oasis
Download: Google Drive | also up on the gallery: aeromantica (but you'll need the cc files from the Drive folder!)
-> Info: I tried to not include merged files, but there are about 3-5 that I missed, sorry :(
TOU: please don’t claim as your own or put behind paywalls etc. If you find any issues (wrong files, etc.) please let me know + tag me if you’ll use the house, I’d love to see it in your games.
#ts4#sims 4#the sims 4#sims 4 build dl#showusyourbuilds#show us your builds#sims 4 lot download#sims 4 lot dl#sims 4 build#sims 4 interior#*mine#*mydownload#sims community#sims 4 screenshots
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Here’s a translation of what Bagi said at the end of her stream.
Bagi: I really wanted to say that QSMP was an opportunity I’ve never had before in my life. Because I impeded myself from taking those opportunities, in the sense of communicating with other creators from countries. When I was a kid I learned and practiced a little bit of English but I never practiced after leaving school because I never had the opportunity and I ended up accepting that I’d never go back to speaking in English because I didn’t practice and if I needed to do it then I’d be shit because I wouldn’t be able to communicate. So when Cellbit spoke to me saying, “Look we really want you to participate in QSMP with us.” I said, “Dude, my communication with people from other countries is going to be very difficult.” And there he said, “You don’t need to worry the translator works really well.” And honestly the translator worked really well because it allowed me to not just communicate with people from various countries, in my own native language, but also allowed me to learn words & terms in other languages.
And I think that I learned a lot culturally speaking because various people from various countries could share their cultures. Which to me is something that is more valuable than anything else. We consume a lot from our own culture and what we see on TV but actually co existing with people from different cultures every day for various hours a day was very cool for learning many new things. I think that QSMP was an experience that wasn’t just very fun but for me, as a player, was an experience that changed my life. Because now I have friends from various parts of the world, I have various people who I met personally who I love, and various more that I still want to meet and be able to do many things together. We lived many cool moments and even if they were characters we were playing, as if they were small scripts we were playing, even then we still lived emotions that were very real. We lived through suffering together, happiness together, and much more. We shared many cool emotions together and so that created a great relationship between the content creators.
From getting along and starting to directly interact on the server to, for instance, people accompanying me late nights while I dug a whole, that refers to the players as much as it does to the administrators as well who’d stay up late digging the hole and updating twitter, doing many things with me. When I only wanted to log on the server, do Lucky Ducks, dig my whole, there was always people to participate and do things with me. And so it was always a lot of fun and it was always people from various places. (…) Because I already knew Cellbit and Felps for a long time but getting close to Pac and Mike was very crazy and it was very fun. The entire experience was very fun. And that’s it.
I think what I’m most grateful for about the QSMP was all the people that connected us. All the people who participated and permitted us to create genuine connections during the game. Because it’s only a game but at the same time everyone who is participating are real people with real feelings who share real things, you know? So it was very cool. I met many fun people who were very cool to spend all this time with. Not just the creators but the team. Everyone. So it was very cool. Very cool.
And I think that the most important thing of all is that you live through experiences in your life with various people and experiences come and go but the mark you leave on people and the mark they leave on your life is permanent. And so experiences come and go, people come and go, but the mark people leave is permanent. The mark that all these creators, all the team, all the actors of QSMP as well, of the eggs, of the characters, left a permanent mark on me that I’ll never forget because it was very cool. I hope still to find the creators, live many fun things with them still, and that’s it. I think I’ve participated in many cool things, I’ve done many cool things in my career and QSMP definitely was one of them. I have many good memories created with the server and people who participated with me. It was very very very fun.
(Bagi also said she wants to have a chat with Elena one day to discuss what she said about the Rebels with Walter Bob there as well)
if i made any typos no i didnt goodbye.
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Nat…
Masterlist
Taglist
Pairings: Natasha romanoff x reader!highschoolau
Prompt: Natasha and y/n like each other but are two dumb idiots that won’t ever confess their love. Or will they? (You know they will) both are about 17-18
Warnings: swearing, Natasha has bad parents
Pronouns: she/her mostly
A/N: Omg I need some fluff. lol all of my stuff is basically fluff. Also I’m graduating todayyy!!!!! I’m so excited!!! I’m gonna cry 😭
Nobody’s Pov
Natasha and y/n are having yet another sleepover. Ever since Natasha turned 16 she was basically kicked out.
And so naturally her best friend y/n welcomed her immediately into her home.
And of course y/n’s parents were more than happy to take her in.
Natasha goes home sometimes, but mostly stays in the y/l/n’s guest room which at this point is her own room.
And yet, the girls always find themselves asleep together in one of either beds.
Natasha lies awake behind y/n in an almost spooning position, and she just admires y/n from afar. She can’t even see y/n’s face but she doesn’t care. She softly trails her nimble fingers up and down her arms and shoulders.
Her touch is so light. Yet not enough to wake up y/n. Or so she thought.
Y/n’s pov
I softly awake to Nat’s hands rubbing up and down my arm.
I don’t want her to pull away like she always does, so I stay as still and as calm as possible.
I won’t move a muscle so that she stays close to me.
Okay. Sure. Maybe I do have a little crush on her.
Maybe it’s not so little.
We’ve known each other since we started school. And although her parents are assholes, I’ve always been by her side. Through thick and thin.
So of course I was bound to fall in love with her.
It’s hard though. She hates physical touch but I’m her exception. She loves simple things like holding pinkies. Or a slight touch of shoulders or knees. But when we’re alone she’s all over me.
And yeah it’s nice but it’s hard when she doesn’t like me the same way. It’s hard when she’s so flirty too.
But I don’t care. All I can about right now is the fact that she is touching me.
I keep pretending to sleep but I know I move a lot in my sleep so I decide to turn around and snuggle into her. She won’t do anything since I’m “asleep.”
She pauses her movements scared she’s woken me up but then when she thinks I’m still asleep she envelopes me in a hug.
I softly breathe into her neck and smell her.
She smells nice.
She smells my hair. And rubs my back. And I wish she’d do this in a romantic way. But that’s not her thing.
But then. Out of the blue she starts whispering to me. Obviously she thinks I’m still asleep. And I guess I’m doing a good job. But I’ve always been god at fake sleeping. And it’s not like she’s a super spy or anything.
She starts whispering into my head from where she is. Like she’s wanting to tell me this.
“Y/n, I don’t know how or why, but I’ve fallen for you.”
If I wasn’t fake sleeping I would be shitting my pants right now. But I want to hear what she has to say so I keep up my facade.
“I love your hair and how it looks in the wind. I love how your nose crinkles a bit when you smile. I love you have little specks of gold in your eyes when you look at the sun.”
She sighs and continues
“I wish I was brave enough to tell you all of this. I wish I could kiss you and tell you how much I love you.”
She is getting a bit choked up and I hear her sniffle a bit but she keeps going
“I wish you loved me. But you don’t. So I can’t ever tell you these things. Because I don’t want to lose you. If I can’t have you as a lover, then I’ll take you as my friend. And that’s okay.”
She sniffs a bit more and continues, god what I’d do to kiss her right now
“I just don’t know what I’m going to do when you fall in love with someone else. I’m not ready to hear you talk about your crush. I’m not ready for you to break my heart. I’m not ready to watch you at the altar and hear you say I do to a stranger as I stay silent when they ask if anyone objects.”
Another sigh. She starts scratching my head softly.
“But I won’t say anything. I will never tell you how the first time you gave me butterflies, I thought I was actually sick. I thought I was having a heart attack at 16. And I never said anything. I can’t. I won’t. Your happiness matters too much to me. So I’ll stay your best friend. And I’ll let you go.”
She holds me tighter and says
“Because sometimes when you love something, you have to set it free”
My heart clenches at her words.
She really does love me. Oh my god she loves me back. I have to tell her!
I almost jump up but then I realize she’d know I was fake sleeping if I jumped up. So I pretend to shuffle a bit.
She stops her speech knowing I’ll be “waking up” soon and just continues to scratch my head softly.
I “wake up” and peek my eyes open at her.
She smiles and says
“Hi”
I send her a dopey smile full of love back at her and say
“Hey”
Then we pull apart awkwardly and I don’t know how to tell her that I love her too.
So I end up letting us get ready and then we go downstairs for breakfast.
My mom has known about my crush on nat for a while but she doesn’t mind. She thinks it’s cute.
And my dad has an idea about it but he doesn’t really dabble with my relationships yet. They’re both supportive though thankfully.
We eat breakfast and have some small talk.
Natasha knows I don’t like to talk a bunch in the mornings. But when we’re done with breakfast and put our dishes in the sink to clean later we head back up to my room.
“Wanna play Roblox?”
Natasha asks me with a smile knowing I love Roblox on Saturdays.
I nod my head and we jump on the bed and I decide I should tell her.
We sit on my bed and I set my phone down as I think of how to tell her. She suddenly says
“You alright?”
I nod my head and say
“Can I tell you something?”
She sets down her phone and nods her head. Then we face each other sitting with our legs criss crossed and she’s all ears.
“I have this crush on this girl.”
A flash of dread goes over her face. Clearly she is not ready to hear this yet. But she doesn’t know it’s her. Either way she covers it up and pretends to be excited.
“Omg! Really? Who is she! Do I know her? What’s her name? What does she look like?”
I smile cheekily and say
“Well. I won’t tell you her name yet”
She groans at my teasing and I continue regardless
“But. I’ll tell you about her and then I’ll tell you who she is.”
She nods her head and is staring at me.
“Well, her hair is so pretty. It’s curly and red. And her eyes are like forests.”
I kind of look off into space and keep talking as if I’m imagining my dream girl
“Her smile is so pretty and we’re pretty good friends. Her laugh is so contagious and she just lights up the room wherever she goes. She has had a rough life, but she’s never lost her heart. And she’s so kind to me. But I think the thing that gets me is how she loves everyone and everything. She talks to passionately about her feelings and her hopes and dreams to me. And it’s really only a few people she lets in and I am so lucky to be her friend. And I think she likes me back”
Natasha’s shoulders slump a bit more every few seconds and she’s droopy now. I look back at her and say
“Any guesses?”
I send her a sly smile and she looks at me and says
“Wanda?”
I start laughing my ass of and I say
“Oh man you’re so funny. Heck no! She might fit my type but definitely not her.”
Then Natasha kind of shrugs her shoulders and is gloomy now. She doesn’t care that she’s showing her dissapointed face at my crush.
I lift her chin up and say
“Nat…”
I give her a look telling her everything she needs to know. But she doesn’t believe me so she says
“Who is it then?”
I smile and giggle at her obliviousness and I say
“I’m not gonna tell you until you give me some advice. What should I do about it?”
She sighs and says
“I guess you should tell her.”
I smile and say
“Nat…”
She looks at me and says
“What?”
I smile and say
“I just did”
Her face turns pale and she says
“Wha- what do you mean?”
I giggle and say
“Natty, I just told her.”
She blinks a bit and silently points at herself as if she doesn’t believe me.
I laugh and nod and then I say
“I really really like you nat. And I wanna kiss you”
Usually I am not this bold so she is a bit dumbfounded and she nods her head so I lean in until I’m about half an inch away from her and she takes the initiative to go the rest of the way.
The kiss is soft and tender. Wayyy better than i imagined. And her lips are divine. They make me think of when the girl from the Lorax was describing truffula trees. (I don’t know. Don’t ask)
Then I pull away in need of air even though I don’t want to and we just stare at each other.
I look back at her lips and now I have become very shy. So she takes the lead and kisses me hard on the lips this time.
She ends up pushing me back on the bed and I wrap my left hand around her side and my right one threads into her hair.
We kiss and kiss and then after a bit, she trails her tongue along my bottom lip asking for permission and I grant it.
When she puts her tongue in my mouth I almost pass out. God she’s going to be the death of me.
This kiss is amazing. After a bit more kissing I accidentally let out a moan and it brings us back to reality so she pulls away.
I keep my eyes closed for a few seconds and a dopey smile is on my face.
She giggles at my flustered state and I finally open my eyes and awkwardly say
“Hi”
She laughs and says
“Hi”
We sit in silence for a bit until she gets off of me and I sit up. I look at her and say
“I’m sorry”
Her eyebrows furrow and she says
“Why?”
I look at my hands in my lap and I say
“I heard you this morning. When you said all those things to me. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything earlier but I didn’t know how to tell you”
She scoffs and shoves my shoulder slightly saying
“You little fuck!”
I laugh and then say
“Forgive me?”
She thinks about it and says
“I’ll forgive you if you say yes to this…”
I nod my head and dramatically say
“I’d do anything for my queen to forgive me!”
She laughs and says
“Be my girlfriend?”
My breath catches in my throat and all I can muster up is a nod.
She smiles and gives me a soft peck and my face turns red. I am all awkward now so I say
“What now?”
not knowing what to do and Natasha says
“Well. We could play Roblox?”
I nod my head and gasp and say
“Wanna be Roblox girlfriends?!”
She nods her head at my childishness and I pump my fist knowing Roblox girlfriends is like the ultimate title. Then my mom knocks on my door and says
“Y/n?”
“Come in!”
I smile at my mom and she narrows her eyes at me and says
“You’re being suspicious…”
She takes a look around my room but drops it and says
“Can you please text me those pictures from last night?”
I nod my head and say
“Do you want the ones of me in my cap and gown?”
she nods her head and says
“Yeah and make sure you send me the one of you throwing your cap in the air”
I nod my head and she leaves. Then I turn to Natasha and she says
“I can’t believe we graduated yesterday and now we’re dating!!!”
I nod my head and say
“Roblox baby”
“Yes of course. I forgot”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: sorry about the last part. I didn’t know how to finish it and graduation has been on my mind.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Taglist
@ihartnat @ilovesnat
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18 or 25 for the relationship prompts? 💗💗💗
hi and thank you for the prompt! sorry this took me so very long to write, but i hope you like it anyway 💕
18. brushing through the other's hair while talking/25. feeding each other their food
[read on ao3]
It’s a slow shift. Not from the beginning, they get called out plenty in the morning, but the afternoon is slow already and now it’s 9pm and they haven’t had a call since before dinner.
All the chores are done, everything is clean and fully stocked and put away.
Bobby is in his office with some paperwork, but he insisted that he doesn’t need any help before heading downstairs.
No one was in the mood to play a game or anything, so they’re just sort of lounging around the loft, an action movie playing on TV that no one’s really paying attention to. Hen and Chim are on the armchairs, but they’re turned mostly away from the TV, their focus on each other and Buck, and the conversation the three of them are having.
Beside Buck, Eddie keeps sinking lower in his seat until his head eventually comes to rest on Buck’s shoulder. Buck shoots him a fond look and lifts the hand that’s currently on the backrest of the couch to scratch at Eddie’s scalp gently.
Eddie makes a soft noise and rubs his cheek against Buck’s shoulder like a cat, which Buck takes as encouragement to keep going.
It’s fine – they agreed to keep this on the low for a bit (not really a secret, but they’re not telling anyone yet either. Well, except for Chris, because that would’ve felt like lying, and Bobby, because they didn’t want to risk anything by keeping secrets from the brass), but so far no one’s even looked at them twice. Buck has had his arm slung over the back of the couch and essentially around Eddie for ages now, and no one’s said a word.
They’ve always been close after all, and for the last three weeks, they’ve slowly been adding more little touches to the list of things they do, like a head on the other’s shoulder, or, like today, Buck’s hand in Eddie’s hair.
It’s been kind of fun finding out what they can get away with before anyone figures them out.
He keeps combing his fingers through Eddie’s hair absently while talking to Hen and Chimney, and it’s easy like this.
With his last relationship, with Tommy, they made it public so quickly kind of accidentally, but it was fine, because there wasn’t that much at stake. Sure, it doubled as his coming out to a lot of people, but Buck’s glad that happened so organically and without him having time to overthink or worry.
With Eddie, the situation is completely different. There’s so much at stake for them, everything, that they felt safer keeping it between themselves for a few weeks, to see how they adjust to this change. The two of them – and Christopher.
But it’s been three weeks now, and things have been great, so it’s okay if they want to be a bit more open with it. And Buck wants.
Ever since he realized how he feels about Eddie, about seven minutes before he kissed him for the first time, he’s been wanting to shout his love for him from the rooftops. It hasn’t been easy keeping that in, and his hands to himself.
So it’s easy, letting himself be a little bit more affectionate with Eddie like this, up here in the loft of their fire station, with their friends.
The low hum Eddie lets out and the relaxed lines of his body pressing against Buck’s tell him that he feels the same way. And if anyone asks – that’s fine, they’re ready to share whenever it happens.
But Hen just keeps telling her story about the latest shenanigans Denny and Mara have gotten up to, pretending to be annoyed by them even though it’s obvious she loves that they’re getting along this well. Chimney chimes in with stories from his and Kevin’s childhood, and Buck occasionally shares something he did as a kid just to shock Hen.
“You’re not hanging out with my kids unsupervised,” she says after he finishes telling them about a prank he and some other boys played on a teacher, and gets up from her chair. “I’m making popcorn. You guys want some, too?”
“Yes, please,” Eddie says sleepily from Buck’s shoulder, raising his hand.
Buck smiles at him, endeared, and squeezes the back of his neck gently. Without looking up, he tells Hen, “I–I’ll take some too, thanks, Hen.”
“You know if it’s there, I’ll eat it,” Chimney says. His chair creaks when he stands up too. “I’ll help you.”
The two of them head to the kitchen, bickering quietly, and Buck takes the opportunity to turn his head, brushing his nose along Eddie’s forehead and pressing a kiss to his brow.
“Tired, sweetheart?”
“A little,” Eddie mumbles, turning further into Buck, his knee pressed to the side of Buck’s thigh. “And you’re comfortable.”
“I’m not complaining,” Buck says, and starts combing his fingers through Eddie’s hair at the back of his head again. “Just say the word and we can go to the bunkroom.”
“No, I want the popcorn now,” Eddie says, blinking his eyes open. “I’m awake.”
Buck laughs and kisses his temple. “If you say so.”
Hen and Chim return with the popcorn not much later, and their conversation has moved on to a movie Buck hasn’t seen, so he’s happy to just sit back, one hand always on Eddie, listen to their familiar voices, and snack on his popcorn.
“Gimme some of that,” Eddie says quietly, jerking his chin towards the popcorn in Buck’s hand.
“The bowl is right there,” Buck says, but he’s already extending his hand.
Eddie gives him a smile that makes butterflies erupt in his stomach and brushes his fingers along Buck’s hand while he grabs some of the popcorn. “Thanks.”
Buck rolls his eyes, but they both know it’s just for show.
The next time he reaches for the bowl, he pops some in his mouth and offers the rest to Eddie, holding it between two fingers.
Instead of taking it from him, Eddie leans forward and eats it straight from Buck’s fingers, lips wrapped around them for just a second that’s enough to make his entire body go hot, especially his face.
Hen and Chimney stop talking.
Eddie looks at Buck like everything is completely normal, then turns to Chimney and Hen to ask, “What?”
“What is up with you two tonight?” Chimney asks, exasperated. “You got something to tell us?”
Eddie shrugs, jostling Buck a little. His eyes practically sparkle, shining with mischief when he turns to Buck, and Buck loves him so much. “I don’t know, Buck, do we? Do you know what he’s talking about?”
“You’ve basically been,” Hen makes an impatient gesture that encompasses both of them on the couch, “fucking cuddling for an hour. And now you’re feeding each other popcorn? You’re always all over each other, but this is…different.”
“Well, I didn’t expect Eddie to eat it like that, either,” Buck says, and blushes even more when Eddie just winks at him.
“Chim, I never want us to be the kind of best friends they are,” Hen says, and Buck makes the mistake of meeting Eddie’s eye, both of them bursting into laughter.
“I sure hope you won’t, since you’re both married,” Eddie wheezes, and Buck descends into laughter again.
“What does that have to–” Chim pauses. “Hold on.”
“Oh, they’re getting there,” Buck says in a stage whisper, reaching out to wipe a tear from the corner of Eddie’s eye.
Eddie catches his hand on the way back and presses a kiss to his palm before tangling their fingers.
Both Hen and Chimney are gaping at them, and Hen calls out weakly, “Cap, are you seeing this?”
“Yep,” Bobby’s amused voice wafts over from the kitchen. Buck didn’t even hear him come back. “But they told me three weeks ago already.”
“What!” Hen yelps, and Chimney shakes his head like a wet dog, looking beyond confused.
“So are you saying– you’re really—” His eyes flick down to their hands, then back up to their faces, moving rapidly from Buck to Eddie and back.
“Together?” Eddie asks. “Yeah.”
“Since when!” Hen demands, and she somehow looks both appalled and delighted. “How did this happen? How did I miss this?”
“I guess you just didn’t know what to look for,” Buck says, turning his head to smile at Eddie. “I can relate to that.”
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Yuma Month Day 26 - Role Swap
god i was excited for this one. it first started off as a joke, but the more i thought about it, the more interesting this swap became. so here's my massive lore dump of changes that'd happen in the story beneath the cut (spoiler warning):
i think, fundamentally, yuma and yakou are very similar characters. they're both very protective and kindhearted, with a strong sense of justice and a penchant for attracting terrible luck. because of this, some things would remain the same, such as the NDA's dynamics with their doormat chief as well amnesia!yakou's massive unpaid intern energy. i think yakou would be pretty similar to how he behaved in the light novel- a bit more optimistic and naive, like yuma. but there are two key differences between them that'd make this a different story, especially in ch 4: yuma has a forte, and yakou is very selfish. so here's some changes:
yakou's wife is his shinigami now, as you can see, while shinigami is yuma's dead wife. i think mrs furio would act cooler than shinigami. she'd still be playful, but she takes her job more seriously. also she hands yakou the solution keys normally without throwing up. they still have to do the dance and mouth sword thing tho. and the other stuff. that's just death god protocol
shinigami (or in this case the unnamed Mrs. Kokohead but i will still be calling her shinigami for convenience sake) was a scientist at amaterasu who studied forensics and thanatology instead of regenerative medicine. this also means that the pill she gives zombie yuma is not going to bring him back, but instead grant the zombie homunculi a peaceful, painless, but permanent death
speaking of zombie yuma, he's the homunculus now! yakou is 100% human and also doesnt have a forte. he's still number one, but instead of having a forte he's just that good at solving mysteries
yes this means makoto looks like yakou now. sorry makotoheads. i think he'd have really long, shaggy hair dyed to be like. idk. black or something. also he's more clean shaven bc stubble with a mask on is a sensory nightmare
yuma still cant cook. he subsists entirely on takeout, meat buns, black coffee, and beer. he's still in a lot of debt and under a lot of stress and his personality is essentially "what if canon number one just gave up"
he doesn't smoke though. he tried once and got into the worst coughing fit
imma say it right now. kurumi is not a love interest. yakou likely disguises himself as a faculty member instead (also i think one of the teachers gets a crush on fem yakou bc i just know she'd be hot)
ANYWAY what about chapter 4? im SO glad you asked! because here's where things get spicy!
so, lets start with the dead wife. shinigami catches onto huesca's inhumane research and she's just as adamant about bringing the truth to light as she always is. she blows the whistle, so he blows her up. yuma investigates, but they dont let him look any further, yada yada, yuma stews in his misery for five years
yomi sends in the evidence to motivate yuma to kill huesca, and makoto lets it happen because a dead huesca would be convenient. he even introduces the hitman, fully expecting yuma to make use of him
yuma doesnt. in fact, he wants to kill huesca with his own hands. and now that these detectives are here, he can do it and even return alive. the thing is, he doesn't want to put them in danger, so he chooses to do almost everything alone (sound familiar?)
his plan is simple:
ask desuhiko for a peacekeeper uniform. desuhiko trusts him enough to take "i want to investigate kanai ward's ultimate secret by infiltrating their ranks" as an answer. he does, however, let yakou know about this as an offhand comment before the mystery ever begins
hold fubuki's hand. it doesnt really matter how. she'll gladly allow it because she's fubuki. he stores her time powers and heads out the sub. yakou also learns this as an offhand comment played off as a joke (maybe fubuki affectionately comments about how she never expected the chief's hands to be so soft... idk. there has to be some way for yakou to have this as a future clue)
use his peacekeeper status to sneak into amaterasu HQ and demand a functioning ama-pal from that one creepy researcher
use ama-pal + fubuki's borrowed powers to bypass huesca's security. sneak the bot past the hard-of-hearing doctor and press the button to shut off security
this would probably alert huesca, but since the doctor never received a warning, yuma has enough time to rush in and stab him before he realizes what's going on
leave HQ while still in uniform, dispose of the disguise once he's safe, and return to the NDA like nothing happened. success!
soooo.... yakou, on that same day, decides to investigate amaterasu HQ with makoto
all the while, vivia has his suspicions about yuma's actions and keeps an eye on him in spectral mode. he... basically witnessed the whole thing, so he gets up off his ass and decides to follow yakou to the lab because he has a Very Bad Feeling about this
just like canon, he senses the death god and deduces that our protag has been killing off murderers, and so he wants to protect his chief as well as his peace and quiet (his dynamic with yuma would be the same as his dynamic with yakou, since it's entirely believable for yuma to treat vivia with the same kindness yakou did)
yakou tries to speak to huesca, but surprise! security is disabled and he's dead in the lab! no one else at amaterasu liked huesca enough to check on him, so yakou and makoto are the first ones at the scene of the crime. yakou, of course, decides to start investigating this murder
vivia somehow sneaks into the lab (dont ask me how) and confronts yakou, threatening him with his boxcutter and adamantly imploring him to stop pursuing this particular mystery in the same way he did yuma in canon. unfortunately, this attracts attention, and now they're in trouble (maybe even yomi's there to fetch his files). at this point, yakou has enough solution keys, so he panics and goes right into the labyrinth (and maybe others can enter for another reason that isnt coalescence idk)
so... they go in the labyrinth... vivia tries to stop him every step of the way, until the answer is right in front of them
yakou kills yuma with his own hands. there's no stab wounds or toxic gas to leave any doubt. yakou begins to question what good his justice really does. it doesnt even save them from their predicament, just like the other deaths. instead, makoto ex machina comes in to save them, and hands yakou a small black box
when they return to the agency, everyone is heartbroken over their chief, who seemingly died out of nowhere. fubuki tried rewinding time, but to no avail. halara tried everything to wake him up, knowing it's futile. desuhiko stood aside, feeling completely helpless. and yakou and vivia return looking like they just came back from hell
they barely get the chance for a funeral before the knockout gas trap activates... you know the rest
AAAAND SCENE! so that's my extremely long winded lore dump about this au. i thought about it Way Too Much but god it's so interesting to me. i love these characters and swapping them was immensely fun
#rain code#mdarc#raincode#master detectives archives: rain code#yuma kokohead#yakou furio#desuhiko thunderbolt#shinigami#yumagami#kokogami#yakou's wife#rain code spoilers#mdarc spoilers#raincode spoilers
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Queue Interview with the Dead Boy Detectives Cast 👻🔎
This is going to be a long post! (These are my favourite parts from the interview!)
George Rexstrew as Edwin Payne
Acting Inspiration
Oh, gosh. Well there are so many. Meryl Streep, obviously. Viola Davis, obviously. More recently, I was blown away by Enzo Vogrincic in Society of the Snow. And Eden Dambrine in Close.
Cast Camaraderie
I loved working with all my co-stars. I’m practically related to Jayden [Revri] and Kassius [Nelson] at this point. Yuyu [Kitamura] is a dream. Jenn [Lyon] is mother hen. Bri[ana Cuoco] is the cool older sister. Josh[ua Colley] is the cheeky cousin. Ruth [Connell] is the godmother who gives you a card and £20 for your birthday. It really is one big happy dysfunctional family. I’m grateful for all of them, on and off camera.
Jayden Revri as Charles Rowland
Dressing The Part
These heads of departments, and Monique and Kelli, [they’re] unbelievable. They were so collaborative. We went through different hairstyles and different things we could do with the makeup. We added a bit of eyeliner for [Charles] just to make it feel more 80s. And then Kelli, I mean, it was like she did her research on me. She added badges to the jacket which kind of represented me as Jayden, before I even got there. It wasn’t until I got the haircut, put the makeup on, put the costume on, and I was like, Okay, this is Charles.
Cast Camaraderie.
The vibe was just incredible. Me and George, we really wanted to set the tone for the series and make sure that everyone’s having fun and it’s an environment where we could all talk about how we’re feeling. We were just such a big support blanket for each other. If there was ever a time that somebody needed space, or they wanted to prep themselves for a certain scene they were going to film, we all respected that and we were each other’s cheerleaders the whole entire time. And it’s still the same to this day now. I think it really shows when you watch the series that we all knew what we were making and we wanted to make something that we would want to watch, which we’ve all done. I cannot shout out my castmates enough. Forever grateful.
Kassius Nelson as Crystal Palace
Acting Inspiration
I watched a lot of animation. I used to watch the Addams Family, the black-and-white one, because I didn’t have Disney Channel or anything. Monk, Murder She Wrote, I was watching those things, so maybe I was actually destined to play a detective, now that I’m thinking about it. I watched a lot of cartoons and animations. I just liked the idea that I could be engrossed in another world. And I always wanted to know what happened next, or when the film finished, I would be like, “Okay, but then what? What happens after that?” And now I get to be part of that question or that answer (...).
Dressing the Part
We have a fantastic costume designer, Kelli Dunsmore. I always say that she literally wove the story into the fabric of the clothes, because there are things that she foreshadowed in the clothing that happened episodes later. Or, if characters start to get in some sort of relationship with each other, that will be reflected in the clothes that they wear or the colors that they have. Or, if they’re feeling any type of emotion, (...)l. Crystal wears these massive platform boots that must be about four or five inches. They’re huge, very heavy, but it’s funny because they change the way that you walk. (...) She’s not very light, which makes sense with the things that she’s going through and the experiences that she’s having. Practically, it helped, because Jayden and George are like six-foot-something. So, if I film a scene and I’m at the bottom of the lens and they’re up there, that helped. I’ve got a good couple inches on my feet.
Yuyu Kitamura as Niko Sasaki
Acting Inspiration
Sandra Oh is a woman that I will forever be indebted to because who she was on Grey’s Anatomy was so formative for me. The most interesting thing about her character was not that she was Asian, but that she was such a fully fleshed person with flaws and amazing qualities. And her work ever since I think has been iconic, so she’s a woman that I deeply look up to.
Landing the role in Dead Boy Detectives
I auditioned from Hong Kong and my dad was my reader because all of my acting friends were in New York. My dad was able to carve out time and be an amazing reader. And in that audition side, it’s the scene where Niko gets to see the “Dead Boys” for the first time, and there’s a line in there that was something along the lines of me talking to Edwin and asking, “Do you two make out with each other?” And my dad stopped the tape and he was like, “What are you reading for?” And I was like, “Don’t give me notes, it’s fine!” And so that was the audition process! I think within a month I found out I got the part and it’s been an absolute dream ever since.
Dressing the Part
(...) I think on paper Niko can seem like a certain type of character, but even in the choice of every costume we did, every color that she wears, every meticulous little piece about everything from her nails to her room, it’s so well curated and thought out. Through her journey, we also find that she’s a woman that wears what she feels. On the surface, she might seem like the most joyful, young, optimistic girl, but it’s the inner confidence and bravery where we find that she’s layered, and she is very much a young woman coming of age.
SOURCE: MEET THE REAL DEAD BOY DETECTIVES (AND FRIENDS)
#i just love how they describe the way the cast gets along#and the fact that there was a dialogue with the “Do you two make out with each other?” is gonna haunt me forever lmao#also covid did make them go through some stuff lmao#like yuyu's dad reading for her and also george's mom reading as the cat king gosh#and i love george's acting Inspiration it kinda makes all the sense in the world#dead boy detectives#dead boy detectives agency#dead boy detectives cast#dead boy detective netflix#edwin payne#charles rowland#edwin paine#niko sasaki#crystal palace surname von hoverkraft#crystal palace#payneland#paineland#painland#ghosts on camera#yuyu kitamura#jayden revri#george rexstrew#kassius nelson#neil gaiman#cast interviews
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[BAD DECISION #31] The Photo Booth
warnings: THE photoboth chapter!!!! a legend amongst bd readers!!!! we meet jaykays mum (shes the best) and his dad (legend), byeol gets her own back for the 'daddy' debacle, teasing, shameless flirting, a lil dirty talk, jaykay is desperate and whiney (just how we like him!!), precum...swapping?? as much as it can be swapped lmao, jaykay does her glitter ::(((((, a date! between friends!! some would argue!!, photobooths, kissing !!!!, oh god I love them so much, very cute, mmmmmm the way he says goodnight!! or alternatively, the way he doesn't say goodnight!!, our babies are v confused <3 cos they are stewpid <33
wc: 9k
bd total wc: 540k (ongoing)
AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI
"Mum? Dad?" Jeongguk calls into the entryway of his family home, pushing the door further open with his shoulder.
Your bag is hooked over his broad back, along with his own, Jeongguk not even considering it a favour. Just helps you out in little ways whenever he can, just because he can. You do what you can to make his life easier, and so it's reciprocated without a second thought.
Carrying a bunch of fresh flowers that had hastily been picked up from the shop across the street, you're a little nervous. There was no way you could show up empty-handed, but had been so scatterbrained when you left your place, it had completely slipped your mind. They're pretty pink posies and are something - which is always better than nothing, even if they aren't all that impressive.
"Oh, you're here!" A sweet voice calls from the back of the house. The sound of indoor slippers scuff against the wooden floors, as his mother scurries to greet you both. "I thought you'd call when you were on your way!"
"Sorry," he apologises and leans down to let the bags softly tumble to the floor, before outstretching his arm for a hug. "Left in a bit of a rush."
Squeezing his mother gently, his back eclipses her from your view. Hands patting his back, you think you can tell a lot about a person from their hands - and she's no exception.
Well-manicured, his mum clearly looks after herself. She wears just two rings - her wedding band and engagement ring. Gold. The only remaining elements of her wedding jewellery that had survived the '98 gold drive.
"Spent my whole life in that house," Jeongguk had said of his family home on the journey to Busan. He'd been opening up. Telling you tales that you'd have never heard if you had declined his offer. Is clueing you in on the life that formed him. Wants you to know. "They held onto it throughout everything. The financial crisis, turn of the century, everything. I'm lucky. We were never well-off, but they never let me know when we were struggling."
It explains a lot about who Jeongguk is, you think. Never wants others to shoulder his burdens. Keeps things bottled up until the glass shatters - but you can see through glass. You always know.
A modest three-bed, there's something nostalgic about the four walls he calls home. Though you've never been here, it somehow feels familiar - but that's perhaps more so to do with the scent of laundry drying, and the fact that Jeongguk uses the same fabric conditioner as his mother always has done.
Swanning Jeongguk out of the way, his mother greets you with a smile that could stoke warmth in even the coldest of hearts - and suddenly, you understand exactly where Jeongguk gets it from.
Dark, round eyes, and a smile as radiant as a spring day, she's got the kind of delicate nature bestowed upon Disney princesses. If you were to learn she'd been a model in her youth, you wouldn't be surprised.
Introducing yourself, you hold out the flowers for her to take.
"For you," you offer, a little shy and reserved, in a way that Jeongguk doesn't see too often. Your glitter - toned down today, for some reason - sparkles in the late afternoon sun that pours through the windows. "Thank you so much for offering to host me. I really hope it hasn't put you out too much-"
"Oh, don't be silly," she tuts, flipping her hand away as if to emphasise that it really is no big deal. "It's always lovely to have Jeongguk's friends staying with us."
She glances over to Jeongguk. Leans in a little closer. Whispers just loud enough for him to hear. "Plus I'm sure you'll be a far better house guest than Jimin ever is!"
"Mum!" Jeongguk goes to defend his housemate - but he knows his mother adores Jimin. Treats him like a third son. Knows she's creating an alliance with you, given the little lie Jeongguk told about you previously dating Jimin.
"What?!" She plays innocent, and it's suddenly so easy to see why Jeongguk is the way that he is. A product of the people around him, he soaks up their best qualities like a sponge in search of water. His playfulness must come from her. Taking the bunch of flowers, she smiles. "Let's go put these in a vase. You must be hungry."
"Ravenous," Jeongguk confirms, as if he didn't eat half an hour ago. "What's for dinner? And where's dad?"
"At the driving range," she tuts, encouraging you both further into the house.
Large and open plan, the sitting room is adjacent to the kitchen; a space designed for socialisation, it's clear that Jeongguk's parents enjoy hosting. It's no surprise that they agreed to let you stay without hesitation, and is also why Jeongguk had no qualms about asking.
"Minhyuk got a new driver that he wanted to show off, apparently," she continues. "A Titlelist. Got it in some dodgy back alley sale. Your father reckons he's been scammed, but Minhyuk reckons it's the real deal, so I'll guess we'll see."
"Minhyuk lives down the road," Jeongguk explains to you as his mum rummages around in a cupboard to find her favourite vase. He's smiling, amused by it all. "Bit of a busybody. Likes being in people's business, so Dad likes to return the favour. Petty middle-aged man shit."
"Watch your language," his mother scolds. He apologises immediately.
It's sweet, seeing Jeongguk like this. He's always been respectful, even if he does swear like a sailor and has a sense of humour that would send a prude to an early grave.
"As for dinner, I told your father to meet us at the samgyeopsal place you like down by the beach-"
"Ugh," Jeongguk smiles, beaming from ear to ear. "Thank you."
"Don't know why you're thanking me," she hums sweetly as she arranges the flowers in the vase. A little lacklustre while they were still wrapped up, she manages to preen them to look far more beautiful. "You're paying."
"I'm- what?!" He whines, now, taking on the role of youngest son perfectly.
She's just joking, and you all know it - but you also know Jeongguk will likely try and cover the bill regardless. Glancing over to you with a cheeky grin, his mum playfully shrugs her shoulders. You return the smile, and giggle a little harder when Jeongguk continues to whine.
"Oh hush your moaning," she simply says. "Go take your bags through to your rooms. We'll head out in half an hour."
Jeongguk doesn't protest. Drags you along with him back to the entry hall to retrieve the bags.
"See," he says quietly, finding your shyness all rather curious. You're never normally like this. Never so quiet. "Told you there was nothing to worry about. Mum always likes my friends."
Picking up your bag to hoist it over your shoulder, you simply say, "Nerves are natural."
Jeongguk doesn't entirely disagree, but really thinks there's no need for you to feel this way.
"Yeah, if you're meeting, like, a girlfriend's parents," he says. "My parents are nothing to be scared of. Idiot."
"Doesn't matter if I'm not your girlfriend, Gguk. I still want them to like me," you remind him. "And let's be realistic here, parents aren't one for subtleties. You've brought a girl home and have hickies on your neck - I need to touch up the foundation, by the way. If they notice, they're gonna add two and two and get five."
"Well actually," he interjects. "They'll add two and two and get four. You are the girl who gave me them."
You laugh. He's got a point. "But I'm not your girlfriend ."
Yep , he thinks. Thanks for the reminder.
It's not like he even wants that. He knows that things are good as they are. Knows that any indication of things getting serious will likely make you run for the hills.
Things feel easy, now. He doesn't wanna do anything that will complicate it. Won't tell you how he's feeling, 'cause he knows the second it does, things will change.
He doesn't know if it would be for better or for worse, but he knows you. Knows his own lived experiences.
The mistakes made with Hayun have contorted his ability to go with his heart, because he knows the pain it can cause. Will take the nail-biting uncertainty of his feelings for you over the soul-crushing certainty of rejection any day of the week.
You're equally as shaped by your own experiences.
Once had a man who would declare his love for you on a Monday morning before his monthly business trip, only for him to spend the entire week in bed with a girl from the accounting department. You've no trust in words. No trust in anything, really, when it comes to matters of the heart. All you can trust is how you feel - but even that's a little more confusing than usual, these days.
"And thank God for that," Jeongguk teases, which seems to settle the woes within you. He tilts his head to the side and guides you up the hallway. "C'mon. I'll show you to your room."
He deliberately doesn't show you his own room. Will show you later, once he's had the chance to hide away most of the embarrassing stuff he hasn't touched since he was a teenager.
Instead, he leads you straight into his brother's old room, and winces.
"It's worse than I remembered."
Jeongmin's bedroom walls are coated in the Lotte Giants; like an oil slick on the surface of a road, or ice cream dripping down the side of a cone. Unsubtle, garish and impossible to ignore, the man is an interior decor menace.
Flags, shirts, commemorative posters, you name it; Jeongmin has it. You think he must have personally spent enough money to fund an entire season of the KBO.
It's a pretty inoffensive colour scheme - white, blue, red - but it's still an eyesore. The rest of the house is well-decorated. Tasteful. Roses do come with thorns, you consider. Maybe Jeongmin and Jeongguk's rooms qualify for that position.
"So your brother likes football?" You deadpan - although you're sure if there was a Lotte Giants branded football, you'd be able to find one in this room.
Jeongguk just shakes his head. Doesn't even dignify it with a proper response.
"It's a miracle he even managed to get girlfriends during high school. This shit is... I didn't recall there being so much."
Signed baseballs, bobbleheads, foam fingers. God. It's endless. Trading card binders, house slippers, even a rubber duck. It's overwhelming.
"What about now?" You ask of Jeongmin's passion. "Still obsessed?"
"Less so," Jeongguk shrugs. "Did call his dog Seagull, though."
The prospect of a dog being called Seagull has you bursting into laughter. You half think Jeongguk is joking - but quickly realise he isn't. For some reason, that only makes it even funnier.
"Will he be at dinner? Your brother?" You ask, setting your bag down on the freshly made bed. The scent of laundry detergent wafts up, and it reminds you of being back at Jeongguk's place in the city. You've never felt more at home in a stranger's bedroom.
"Why?" Jeongguk asks, narrowing his eyes, remembering what you had said earlier. "You're not allowe-"
"Oh give over," you laugh. "You know I won't."
You've never seen his brother, but already know Jeongguk must be the brother. The one that the girls go crazy over.
Then again, Jeongguk did say that his brother is a fuck boy. Perhaps he's just as handsome.
Impossible .
Thing is, Jeongguk doesn't know you won't go for his brother. You made threats earlier. Knows he ignited a fire in you the second he pulled the 'Daddy' stunt. Knows you're competitive. Regrets it a little bit now. Only has himself to blame.
"Anyway, piss off," you playfully tell him. "I wanna get changed."
Jeongguk doesn't care. Takes a seat by his brother's desk, instead. Smirks. Raises his brows in that promiscuous, boyish way that always disrupts the butterflies who peacefully rest in your diaphragm. "Okay. Get changed."
"Gguk," you deadpan. He's pushing his luck, and he knows it. Glances over to the door. It's ajar, but pushed shut enough to obscure any unwanted eyes. Just means he needs to keep his deep voice quiet.
"What?" He flirts. "Nothing I haven't seen before."
"Your mum is down the hallway!" You whisper-shriek. Sometimes you forget how much of a boy Jeongguk is, and then he pulls shit like this.
The worst part?
You love it when he's like this; all cheeky and brazen, audacious in his quest to get what he wants.
And when it's you that he wants? Oh, it gets you all hot under the collar. He has that effect on people, you think. It can't just be you.
"So?" He licks his lips. Rakes his eyes down your body. Looks fucking hungry - and to him, you look like a 5-course meal he'd gladly get on his knees and beg for. "She's not gonna come in."
His lips press down against one another, tightly. His lip ring does the thing. You whine.
"Gguk."
"Byeol." He teases. "It's not like you're getting naked. Not like we'd be doing anything. Seen you in your underwear so many times."
He'd like to know that he still can. Wants to know he hasn't fucked it all up by getting you a little vulnerable earlier.
"Maybe I am getting naked," you whisper back, feeling challenged now.
"Are you?"
"Should I?" You tease. He sits up a little straighter. Tries to be subtle as his hand drops between his legs, the heel of his palm pressing against himself. Fails. You know he's adjusting himself. Know that it means he's getting a little excited.
"Think if you need to, then you should," he simply replies. "Just a little revision of a bird, no? Nakedness ? It'd be good."
You don't need to get fully undressed. Not in the slightest - and you're not gonna.
In fact, Jeongguk isn't gonna see anything - but you're still gonna fuck with him a little first. He deserves it after this morning.
You turn away from him. Shrug the jacket off your shoulders. Toss it onto the bed. Open up your bag, and have a little dig around.
"I'm not sure what to wear," you hum, sounding a little defeated. It's intentional. Want him to think you're being genuine.
Turning to face him, you hold lingerie in either hand. Packed deliberately just to fuck with him. Had figured you'd wear it discreetly, letting him know as and when he deserved to know. Would use it to wind him up - and not to give him any satisfaction. He's right in thinking he's ignited a little competition in you.
Didn't realise you'd take him to war, instead.
He's not seen you in either of these. Has never really seen you in your 'nice' stuff. All of your underwear is nice to a certain extent, because you're intentional with your purchases. Like feeling good beneath even a pair of sweats.
However, Jeongguk has only ever been treated to matching sets.
After all, you've never tried to seduce him. He's your friend. You fuck each other, sure, but it's cause it's comfortable. Safe.
The lace in your hand is far too exciting for your established arrangement.
In your left hand is a lace bodysuit. Mesh panels make up the structure, but it's the ornate, hand-sewn lace that really makes it beautiful. The neckline is fairly high, so sometimes you get away with wearing it at a top on nights out. Been a while since you went that risque.
In your right hand, it's a classic black garter belt. Jeongguk has no idea what the fuck they're called, just knows he likes them.
He swallows. Licks his lips. Doesn't know where to focus his eyes. Barely realises he's gripping himself now. Is so fucking hard.
"Which is your favourite?" You ask, eyes innocent, voice nonchalant.
Jeongguk thinks he'll die if you wear either.
"Both are fine," he manages to say, eventually.
"Fine isn't good," you pout.
"Well what do you want me to say, B?" He whispers, clearly a little frustrated. Not with you. With himself . "That as soon as you put them on, I'll wanna take them off you? They're fuckin' hot. Both of them. Fuck ."
He tilts his head back. Whines a little. Moans. "Why do I do this to myself?"
"Think you might be a masochist," you giggle now, tossing the lingerie back down by your bag. Will save it for later. Poor boy is going through it. "You did this to yourself."
He looks at you with a huff and a frown that is far too sweet for the situation at hand.
"I'm stupid," he pouts. "Pea brain. You're the one with a big brain. You should tell me to stop doing pea brain things."
"You wouldn't listen to me even if I did," you smile fondly as you walk towards him - 'cause even if it looks like he's admitting defeat, you don't trust him yet. His cock is too hard to be making sensible choices.
Coming to a stop between his legs, you don't stop Jeongguk when his large hands stroke up the backs of your thighs. Your own hands are toying with his hair. It's all very amorous; affectionate despite the allure.
"You don't know that," he whispers, still. Cupping his strong jaw, you tilt his head upwards. Your hair is still up from earlier, and he regrets it now. Always loves it when your hair tumbles around his face. Likes being consumed by the entity of you. The scent of your shampoo, the softness of your well-conditioned hair. Heaven.
"You made a bad decision this morning," you remind him. "Would have done it even if I told you it was a bad decision."
Regretfully, Jeongguk thinks this is true. That instant gratification of his ' Daddy' stunt made it worth it.
Worth it at the time, at least.
He's not so sure, now.
Sinking to your knees, your hands stroke up his thighs. Jeongguk looks down at you, tongue wetting his lips. There's a change in his breathing. Anticipation.
"You know," you say quietly, making sure no sound travels at all. You're not looking to get kicked out of Jeongguk's house within an hour of being invited in. Looking directly at his hard crotch as your hands squeeze his thighs, you simper. "I really thought you were gonna take charge this morning. Thought you were gonna get me where you wanted me."
"Yeah?" he husks, pulling on his shirt, releasing it from the belt around his waist. Lifts it a little. Gets his abs out. Is doing shit he knows will make you salivate. One of your hands follows his encouragement and pushes up his chest. Hard beneath your warm hand, his body really is a gift from the gods.
"Yeah," you tease.
"What did you think, huh?" He says, his hand cupping your cheek to raise your gaze to his. It'd embarrass you, if it were anyone else; but for some reason, you don't mind worshipping Jeongguk unabashedly. Are on your knees like his body is your alter. Whisper words of sin like you're in a confessional. Pray that you'll never have to give this up. Religion is wasted on you, and Jeongguk is a false God, but you've never felt more holy than when you're committing cardinal sins with him. "Where was I gonna get you?"
Smiling in that coy way you so often do whenever he gets you a little vocal, your eyes rake back down his body.
"Right here," you shrug. Give him those eyes; the ones that make Jeongguk think he's seeing fucking stars. Smirk, before you say, "thought you were gonna get your cock in my mouth."
"Shit," he curses as you press down over the hard ridge in his pants. He's always so pleased to see you - especially like this. "You want that, huh? Wanna suck on it?"
Nodding, you bite on the lip, sin written in the constellations Jeongguk's gazing at. "Wanna make you feel good, Koo."
If Jeongguk doesn't get his cock in your mouth within the next minute, he's pretty sure he'll die. Has wanted it for weeks. Months . Wants you in any capacity he can get you, granted, but there are few things in life better than a good blow job. Good pussy, is, admittedly one of those things, but he already knows you have that. Thinks your mouth must be just as good.
His hands drop to his belt. Metal clangs as he races to get it undone. You let him. Don't stop. Watch on with sated pleasure as he hurries. Undoes his buttons, and then his zipper is down, too. His Calvins are on display. There's a teeny tiny damp mark showing through; evidence of how badly he wants you. "We don't have long. Be quick, B. Gonna nut so fuckin' fast."
Smirking, there's something so painfully endearing about how needy Jeongguk is as he untucks himself from his boxers. Thick and firm, his cock is just as pretty as it always is whenever he's desperate for you. The little bead of precum pooling at his tip is begging for your tongue, the freckle on his shaft deserving of a pretty little kiss.
And then you pull back. Look at his pretty, needy face and raise a brow. Poor baby .
"Said I wanna make you feel good," you smirk. "Not that I will."
You get to your feet. Walk away. Giggle to yourself as Jeongguk fucking whines as quietly as he can. Needs that door closed. Needs you to know that this balling is gonna kill him off. Head thrown back, cock in his hand, he's gonna fucking die .
"B," he growls a little, faux sobs echoing from his throat.
"What?" You smile. He looks like a fucking state, desire taking hold of the way he's staring you out, chest heaving a little bit. And then, to add insult to injury, you remember to 'address him properly'. "Something wrong, Daddy ?"
His face bunches up. Regret embeds itself into the lines on his face. He whines. "You're so mean, Disco Ball."
He's cute. Really fucking cute.
It makes you feel bad.
And fuck, you want him.
Seeing him like this gets you all sorts of fucked up - but he deserves it.
He watches you cautiously as you walk a little closer.
You crouch between his legs this time, instead of getting down on your knees. Replace his hand with yours. Have missed how it feels to have him in your grip.
Eyes on his, you watch as his chest begins to beat a little fast. His lips are ajar. Eyes forlorn, he's desperate . His cock twitches in your hand, so you tighten your fingers. A hushed moan lets you know he likes this. Likes every fucking thing about it.
Licking your lips, you position yourself a little better. Glance down. Think it's a miracle you haven't given him head yet. Have never wanted to choke on a cock more - cause what are friends for, if not that?
"I'm not mean," you whisper. You drag your wet tongue across the tiny slit that is fucking oozing for you. It takes everything in you not to give into what you want. "I'm so nice to you, Koo."
You've got a point to prove, though. Ease your grip. Stand. Replace the now empty space in your hand with his chin between your thumb and index finger, grasping onto it as you tilt him upwards.
You hold your tongue out, encouraging him to do the same - and without even a second fucking thought, he does it.
Eyes wide, Jeongguk wants this. Want you. Wants your tongue on his.
And what Jeongguk wants?
Well, eventually , he always gets it.
Your tongue swipes against his; traces of his own precum sinking onto his tongue, masking the taste of you.
He wants more.
Wants you to do it again. Wants to taste you. Wants you to sit on his lap, tongue in his mouth. Wants to be too fucking busy with his lips to remember how to breathe.
And, like always, he will get it - just not now.
Eventually, yes.
Immediately, no.
"You're gonna fuckin' kill me one day, B," he whines as you walk away from him again.
"Good," you smile, talking at full volume now. Playtime is over.
You do, however, take off your shirt, and let him watch. All he can see is your back, but even that drives him insane. He can't remember the last time he was this worked up without any indication of a release. He's been horny all fucking day.
Pulling a fresh shirt over your head, you're a little sad to see he's tucked himself away when you turn around again.
"Go get ready," you say fondly. "We don't have long."
Jeongguk is pouting. A crease between his brows, he looks hard done by.
" So mean."
His stroppy demeanour makes you laugh. It's so classically him. A Ggukism, if you ever did see one.
"That's what you get for making me call you Daddy," you say quietly. Find it funny how much of a baby he's being - and consider that maybe he's the one that is better suited to the nickname.
He whines again. Louder this time. You glance to the door. Make sure you're still without disturbance.
You want to call him baby.
Just because it works, and it's funny, and - fuck it - maybe it'd be nice.
But it would also be a step too far, you think.
"Shush," you say affectionately, not accenting your command with 'baby' like you really want to. Instead, you walk over to him and cover his mouth with your palm. "What if someone hears you whining, huh? I don't wanna have to tell your mum you've just been tasting your own cum in your brother's bedroom, do you?"
"You're so fucked up," he wails, feeling incredibly hard done by. He needs to learn how to resist you. Never wants to have to endure this again.
"We're so fucked up," you correct. "I wouldn't be so mean to anyone else - but you deserved it."
He can't even argue against it. He knows that this is a product of his own creation.
"Go, get yourself sorted out," you encourage him along. "We don't have long."
He nods. Sighs. Gets to his feet, and does his trousers back up. Is convinced he'll die before your trip to Busan finishes if this is the game you're playing.
Leaving you to get ready (and to let his raging boner die, even if he won't) Jeongguk returns within 15 minutes. He's nonchalant, as if what happened the last time he was in the room was simply a fragment of your own imagination.
You're sitting by the floor-length mirror (which is, of course, adorned in Lotte Giants memorabilia), doing your makeup. Hair claw-clipped now, Jeongguk is a little sad to see your space buns go, but understands why. You seem to be a little more demure than usual.
He nudges his knee against your back, gentle in how he touches you, your body swaying ever so slightly.
"Don't," you smile, pulling the liquid glitter away from your face. "I'll get it in my eye."
There's an innuendo to be made there, but Jeongguk knows better. Just smirks. Plonks himself down next to you; cross-legged, knees up, arms hugging around them. He looks like a condensed version of himself like this, sitting as close to you as he possibly can just so he can see himself in the mirror.
"Little disco ball," he says fondly, watching you dab the glitter onto the inner corners of your eyes. It's not something he often calls you these days, but there's something about hearing the name now that makes you smile.
"Strange, isn't it?" You muse. "This time last year I was just disco-ballin' in your club. Didn't even know your name."
He nods. Smiles. "And now you're in my brother's bedroom turning yourself into a disco ball."
"Funny little lives, we live," you muse fondly. How far you've both come. If it wasn't for the glitter, you don't think you'd recognise yourself.
"Would you have ever predicted it?" he asks. Knows he was intrigued by you from the very moment he first saw you. Has no idea what you thought of him. Wonders if you had 'what if' thoughts about him. Who he was. Who he could be. What you could become. "That you'd end up here?"
"Honestly? Sorta wanted to curl up and die after you found me in your living room."
The memories are a little hazy, but you still remember the look on Jeongguk's sleepy face in the early morning sun that was intruding on his living room at the time.
Jeongguk nods. Smiles. Remembers it far better than you do. "Yeah, wasn't your finest hour."
You turn to look at him, chin resting on your shoulder. There's a glow about you now that Jeongguk can't seem to get enough of. Wants to drink you in like purple starfuckers at 2am in the heat of full-capacity Dionysus nights.
"I mean, I don't know," you say with a small shrug. "How often do you become friends with your punters?"
"Not often," he admits. "How often do you become friends with your bartenders?"
You're coy as you smile. "Not often."
Not ever, actually.
Yeonjun doesn't count - you've never spent any time with him sober, even if you do always enjoy seeing him behind the bar. Even then, it doesn't compare to the way you seem to light up whenever Jeongguk is serving your drinks.
Jeongguk's the first. The only.
Taking the liquid glitter from your hands, Jeongguk scoots a little closer. Gets more product on the wand, and sets the tube down beside him. Pinches your chin between his index finger and thumb.
There's no opposition from you; just a silent acceptance of Jeongguk dictating your movements. Lips parting as he draws a little closer, there's apprehension to the way your eyes flicker between his own pair and his lips.
Jeongguk is pleased, but tries not to let it show. Fights his smile. Battles the inner voices telling him that kissing you would be a good idea.
Breath hitched as his dark eyes survey your face, you're regretful of the way your body responds to him. Friendship tainted by desire; a natural by-product of fucking someone you really care about, you think.
It's no secret that you adore each other, but doesn't everyone feel so fondly about their best friends?
He's slow as he dabs the end of the wand against your cheek, following around the curve of your eye socket. Jeongguk always thinks you look so pretty when you highlight yourself with glitter there. It catches the light so easily that he always notices it. Might have even been the first glitter of yours that he notices in the dreary lights of Dionysus, the hedonistic haze of neon lights and dark shadows creating the disco ball effect he likes so much.
"There," he says quietly as he finishes evening it out. "Pretty little star."
"Careful," you say back just as quietly. "You'll give me an ego."
"Just returning the favour," he jokes, screwing the wand back into the tube, his hands working quickly. "The Daddy thing really did a number on my ego this morning."
Rolling your sparkly eyes, you gently push him away.
"Fuck off, Jeon," you playfully reprimand him for mentioning it again, getting to your feet. Smoothing out your clothes as you check yourself over in the mirror, you're pleased to see that Jeongguk has applied your glitter just the way you like it. Dabbing it out slightly, your heart swells a little with how attentive he is.
Still sitting exactly where he was, Jeongguk strokes up the inside of your leg. It's all very innocent. Just touching you 'cause he likes the comfort that comes with it. You're in sheer tights, there's a softness to them that Jeongguk likes. He tries to forget the garter belt you were holding earlier. Doesn't think you'd wear it out for dinner with his parents.
He's right.
No matter how hot it might be working him up in public, you're not about to go and do it in front of his parents . You have some morals at least, even if Jeongguk does make you momentarily forget about them from time to time.
Reaching down, you scratch his hair a little, just behind his ear. Eyes closed, he leans into your touch like a little puppy dog. So docile and devoted. Cute.
"C'mon," you encourage him, but remain fixed in position. Head versus heart. Wanna stay right where you are in the cocoon of Jeongguk's family home with him, but know you have places to be. "Shouldn't keep your mum waiting."
He nods, head resting against your leg. Sighs. "Yeah. You're right. Let's go."
You offer him a hand up, of which he gladly takes. Checks himself over in the mirror. Is still wearing the outfit he drove in. Considered changing, but he's aware of the way the girls at the service station were ogling him earlier. Knows the outfit probably has something to do with it.
He doesn't mention the change of your outfit; the fact that you're wearing a white shirt too, now. It's tucked into a little black skirt, he's certain you're probably gonna wear those slightly worn out Converse of yours - and he intends on doing the exact same.
"C'mon, kids!" Jeongguk's mum calls up the corridor, echoing your thoughts about needing to leave.
It's nice, you think, to be grouped with Jeongguk in such a way. Makes you feel like this is the way it's always been. Doesn't matter if you're in your twenties, and Jeongguk's mum met you an hour ago. There's an acceptance of you; of your place in her son's life.
He glances over at you, scrunching his nose a little. Is a little awkward. Likes the idea of you being part of his life since childhood. Is sad it'll never be the case.
"You heard her. Let's go."
Ushering you back down the hallway, a hand on top of your shoulder, thumb rubbing the nape of your neck, there's a casual intimacy to the way Jeongguk always finds an excuse to touch you.
It's not scary, nor daunting in the way that you always deem intimacy to be, but it is something . Gets you feeling a little flustered. Has you wriggling out of his grip with a laugh, as if he was tickling you.
"Stop annoying the poor girl," his mother scolds fondly as you come into her line of vision, which just simply earns another protest from Jeongguk.
"She's the annoying one."
You scoff. "That's rich coming from you."
It's all in good humour, and his mother appreciates this. Likes seeing Jeongguk goof around, especially knowing how stressed he's been lately. Has barely called. Missed his father's birthday to study.
All she wants is for her children to live happy, fulfilled lives, and if there's one thing to be noted about Jeongguk's current demeanour, it's that he's undoubtedly happy.
Whether or not that has anything to do with you, she doesn't know - but she wasn't born yesterday. His desire to visit home is understandable after the pressure of his studies. He needs rest - and somehow, he factors you into that rest.
Of her two children, Jeongguk's always been the more introverted one. He needs his time to recharge. Would be the life and soul of the party at school, then come home and remain silent until dinner time.
For a few years, it bothered her. Thought that maybe Jeongguk was unhappy at home - but it was quite the opposite. It's his safe space.
And now he's bringing you into it.
"Is the room okay?" she asks you, knowing that the sheer amount of baseball memorabilia in Jeongmin's room is... a lot to take in. "Interior decoration was always more of Jeongguk's speciality. Had Jimin to give him pointers. Jeongmin... Well, he had an acquired taste... As you've probably already gathered."
Laughing a little, you nod. "It's grand. Thank you for letting me stay. I really appreciate it - and I grew up with a Lions-loving Dad. I'm used to it."
"Ohh," his mother winces, then addresses Jeongguk. "Keep this one away from Jeongmin."
You also turn behind you now, raising a brow. He's just rolling his eyes, a soft smile on his lips.
"Samsung Lions - and their fans - are the scum of the earth in Jeongmin's eyes," he explains, then looks over to his mum. "Is he coming to dinner? Do we need to sit them at opposite ends of the table?"
Shaking her head, she laughs. "No, he's got plans, apparently. I did tell him you were visiting, but you know what he's like."
Jeongguk just sort of accepts this answer. Nods. Shrugs his shoulders, as if it's to be expected. An air of disappointment clouds around Jeongguk, lips pursed, eyes stern.
He and his brother are cut from the same cloth, but have been sewn together with different stitches. For all their similarities, they have stark differences, too. This one has always been the most challenging for Jeongguk; how little his brother seems to care about maintaining a good relationship.
Jeongmin seems to think their status as brothers is enough to keep the bond strong. Doesn't seem to care about fostering an actual friendship with him.
It's part of the reason why Jeongguk is so reluctant to let go of friendships that no longer serve him. They're filling a void. He never wants to be the one who gives up. Doesn't wanna be the reason things fall apart.
"Alright," Jeongguk's mother smiles at you both. "Ready to go?"
It surprises you that she's the one driving to dinner instead of Jeongguk - but it makes sense, given the fact you and Jeongguk will stay in the area afterwards.
She insists that you sit up front, even if all forms of hierarchy would dictate that Jeongguk should be there instead. He doesn't complain. Sort of likes how you and his mum are ganging up on him like a little team.
When you arrive at the samgyeopsal place, his father is already waiting.
He's everything you expect him to be: funny, a little dramatic, and the spitting image of Jeongguk, just with a few more grey hairs and even deeper creases beneath his eyes. Introduces himself with as much gusto as a cartoon character; full of life and pleased to have another person to relay all of Minhyuk's misdemeanours to.
You learn more about the Busan Driving Range circuit than you ever could have predicted - specifically about Minhyuk, the legitimacy of his 'bargain' driver, and how Jeongguk's father is convinced he's been tampering with his balls.
Jeongguk chokes on his drink when his dad mentions that last point. Earns himself a talking to for thinking with such a dirty mind - but after a few drinks, his parents are giggling about it, too.
There's something incredibly easy about being around Jeongguk's parents. It's no wonder he's grown into the person he is.
You feel a little shy. Don't understand the in-jokes at first - but someone always explains them to you. Normally Jeongguk, but sometimes his mother. Never his father, 'cause he'll go on a twenty minute long tangent explaining the lore and the back story. They've learnt this the hard way.
Still, he's a dab hand when it comes to grilling the meat. Takes charge of it all. Plates his wife up first, always. You second, Jeongguk third, and then himself. Head of the house, he takes his place in the hierarchy seriously, but not at the expense of the ones he loves. Will make sure they're provided for first.
Jeongguk is much the same. In charge of refilling the soju and beer, he'll pour for his father first, then mother, then you. Puts the bottle down before he fills his own, which is when you step up and fill his glass. He'll nudge with you his knee beneath the table to make you wobble, but never enough to make you spill it.
Subscribing to drinking norms is something that you never really do with Jeongguk. He's a bartender, after all. Things are always a little unconventional. He's normally the one making you drinks and sorting himself out, too.
Something about this feels incredibly domesticated. Natural. Pleasant.
By the time dinner is done, Jeongguk's parents have to order a taxi. Had a little too much to drink- but you're bloody glad for it. Made it a lot easier for you.
"Your parents are fun," you beam, walking down the promenade of Gwangalli with Jeongguk. It's your favourite of all the busy beaches in the city, but you rarely ever get the chance to see it after dark. There'll be a drone show, soon. You've definitely never seen that. Can't wait for it.
"They sure are something," he laughs, a little embarrassed. They have big personalities, which he's glad of, but he knows they can be a bit much sometimes. "Dad drinks well, so we probably had a bit more than we should have done. Sorry."
Shaking your head, you don't mind in the slightest. Are at that giddy stage of drinking, where everything seems marvellous, and bad decisions cosplay as good choices.
"Are you forgetting how we met? I don't mind having one too many, Gguk."
"True," he agrees, checking the time on his phone. Still a good half an hour before the small show. It's just a free thing that the city council puts on every night, not a huge deal to him anymore, but he understands why people romanticise it. Knows that you have to see it.
Tugging on your hand, Jeongguk checks the road before he crosses, dragging you along with him.
"Hm?" You squeak, taken by surprise. A little tipsy, your reflexes aren't as fast as usual, just like tipsy Jeongguk isn't as good at voicing his thought processes as sober Jeongguk usually is.
"Photos," he simply states, leading you into a small retail unit that houses only photo booths.
It's the standard set-up: wall partitions between self-timer camera units, and curtains instead of doors to the small spaces. Each booth has a different colour background, adding to their own individual charms. The walls of the entryway are lined in discarded pictures; friendship groups, couples, first dates, anniversaries, birthdays. Life events, big and small. Moments of time captured to last forever.
Accessories and props are abundant in the entry area - hats, glasses, wigs, signs. Your favourites are always the headbands. Kitty ears, normally, though sometimes you branch out into bunny ears if you're feeling fancy.
There are five booths in total along the back wall, but one in particular grabs your attention: the one advertising Sanrio-themed frames instead of the standard solid colour outline.
"Oh my god," you gasp, and then it's Jeongguk's turn to squeak with confusion. You point to it. Specifically, to the My Melody and Kuromi figures by the bottom of the ad. "It's us."
He smiles. Doesn't really understand your hyper fixation. Agrees nonetheless. "It is us."
The pair of you goof around, picking props. Jeongguk learns that you find him in any sort of animal ears absolutely hilarious, but the second he puts on a yacht captain's hat?
"Take that off right this second," you tell him, voice stern, eyes wide.
He's bemused. Snorts a little. Teeth on show, he's dangerously pretty. So handsome and yet such a little shit. "Why? Like it?"
You turn your nose up. "Hate it."
"I know you're lying," he laughs. Tilts it down. "Is this getting you all hot, B?"
"I'm leaving," you say, because it's so much easier than saying yes.
Something about him in a white shirt, with that hat? White with a navy peak, gold embroidery on the sides? God, you see why the old money girlies like boatmen so much. Decide that you're never getting on a boat with Jeongguk if you want to retain your sanity.
He takes it off. You don't even realise it, but you pout.
"You're so confusing, Byeol," he says as he playfully puts it on your head - and then he's feeling all fucked up too.
Something about a captain's hat. Just really does the trick.
You've both had too much to drink. There's no reason for you both to be getting flustered because of a stupid hat and yet -
"I don't think we should ever touch hats again," Jeongguk says very quickly.
But then you put a pair of kitty ears on and he starts questioning whether or not furries are actually kinda onto something.
He furrows his brows. Picks up a pair of ears. Bunny ones. Black. They're satin and a little too sexy, he thinks, but he's gotta see himself in them.
And when he does?
He kinda gets why girls dress up like cute animals for fancy dress parties. Doesn't wanna blow his own trumpet - but shit. He does look cute.
"Oh my god, YES," you exclaim when you clock his new attire, and quite literally drag him to the booth. He gets no say in the matter, and honestly doesn't care. Is having too much fun with you to take any of this seriously.
You pick the Sanrio framed booth, because of course you do. Jeongguk pops his card in the slot, and lets you click through on the options that you want - 4cut, vertical frame. The classic style. Your favourite.
Turning to Jeongguk, you tweak his glasses a little. Can't decide if they look better hiked up, or further down his perfectly sloped nose.
All Jeongguk can think about is your nose, and much he wants to nudge his up against yours.
And so he does just that.
Doesn't give a fuck.
The camera flashes.
You're caught, forevermore, in your state of Jeongguk-induced hypnosis. The pictures will survive beyond you. Will be stored in boxes to be looked at once, maybe twice by future generations.
One day, no one will know the name of you nor the boy you're with. They won't know how the scent of his aftershave lingers, nor the way your soft exhale of air sounds as you smile. Your present will be lost to history, this photograph? Your legacy.
Nothing will be known of you, and yet this picture alone will tell them everything they need to know.
"We're gonna waste shots," you whisper. The booth takes six photos, but you'll only be allowed to choose four for the printed picture at the end.
The more to choose from, the better.
"So?" Jeongguk smirks. Holds your neck just beneath your jaw. Strokes across your cheek with his thumb. Looks at you with sparkly eyes and a boyish smile that is just begging to be kissed. "Don't you wanna see what it looks like when we kiss?"
"It's intimate," you remind him.
"Maybe - but it's also fun," he reminds you.
The camera flashes again. That's two shots wasted, now.
If you let this carry on, it'll be three, and then one of them will have to be used in the final print.
And yet as Jeongguk nudges against your nose a little deeper, you let him.
When his lips ghost yours, you let him.
When his lips press down, you let him.
You'll let the third photo be taken, because you'll be too busy kissing him back to pay attention.
The fourth, too.
Lips on yours, Jeongguk kisses you in a way that he hasn't done before. It's delicate, and gentle, but his lips are strong. Intentional. There's no intrusion of tongue, no fervent need to get you moaning, even though it feels like you will regardless.
Your brain screams at you. Something about rules, and breaking them.
You ignore it.
'Cause all you can think about is the way this feels.
You don't think you've ever had a kiss like it.
And it's terrifying.
It's not until the fifth shot flashes that you both pull away; smiles smitten, eyes glossy. Both of you felt that. Ain't no way he couldn't have.
You think that maybe that's even more terrifying.
And so for the sixth shot?
Both of you pretend to throw up, disgust plaguing your giggly smiles and blushed cheeks.
There's distance between you, but as soon as the camera flashes, Jeongguk is pulling you back to his side again. It's just so that you're both ready to look through the pictures that are about to pop up on the little touchscreen. He's being helpful. Glances down at you, and has to stop himself from pressing a kiss into your hair.
Things are just so easy with you.
As soon as the pictures load, you're laughing. "We have to retake these."
"No, no, no," he swats your hand away, then taps on one of the photos, adding it to the preview frame. "My jaw looks really good in this one."
It's shot number four. Mid kiss. His hands on your cheeks, yours out of frame because they were on his waist. His jaw really does look fantastic - but it's sort of devastating when you realise just how happy he looks. He's smiling into the kiss. The most devastating thing of all?
So are you.
"How is that even us," you giggle. Seems so bizarre to see yourself like this.
"Gross isn't it," he smiles, adding more of the pictures to the frame, but you're the one correcting him now, tapping his hand to move him out of your way.
"We need them in order," you say. "A chain of events."
Eventually, the order is settled: the nudging of noses, the innocence of a kiss with the sin of Jeongguk's sharp jaw, the slightly startled look in both of your eyes as you'd pulled away, and then, of course, both of you pretending to vomit.
As they print, you pick out props for the next set of photos - Jeongguk in a pair of purple heart-shaped glasses and a Kuromi headband, you in that damn sailor's hat - and discuss which poses to actually do. This time round, it's all peace signs and finger hearts; goofy angles too close to the camera and a little laughter to set the tone.
"C'mon," Jeongguk says softly as you finish sliding the pictures into the thin plastic sleeves next to the booths. He normally doesn't bother with them. Likes that you seem to care about preserving the integrity of your memories. Hand outstretched, he encourages you to take it.
"Your bird," he says. "Said we'd do it in Busan."
The look you give him is coy, eyes a little sultry, lips a little pouty.
When you're silent, Jeongguk laughs. "Hold my hand, B."
"Getting a little date-like, don't you think?" You say of the night, but Jeongguk just shrugs.
"So? We'll just call it practise."
"Mhhm," he nods, shaking his hand a little because you still haven't held it. He's impatient. It's only as you take his hand that he begins talking again. "You don't wanna go back into the dating world unprepared. What if Mr Mechanical Engineer tries to hold your hand without you being ready for it?" He squeezes your hand, leading you out the door. "Let's get you used to it."
The mention of Seojoon makes you feel guilty. About him? About Jeongguk? You're not sure. It's something you need to figure out. Something you need to figure out fast .
And yet as Jeongguk holds both yours and his shoes in one hand, your hand firmly secured in the other, you choose not to think about it.
Just think of the sand, and how it will be a bitch to get out of your tights. It's sort of like your glitter, in a way.
But just like Jeongguk wouldn't trade your glitter for anything, you wouldn't trade this moment for anything either.
Neither of you say much. Just listen to the waves rolling in. Listen to other people's conversations. Listen to the whir of the drones as they start up and get into position. The show begins. Won't last longer than ten minutes. The silence is comfortable.
He holds your hand, and you move them to your lap in a bid to keep them warm.
Jeongguk isn't really feeling the cold. His heart is simply burning too brightly.
"I'm really glad you're here," he says as the show draws to a close.
"Me too," you whisper back fondly. "It must be nice to be home."
"Well, you know they say," he muses. "Home is where the heart is, and all that."
Been at home for months, B.
You breathe through your nose, exhaling a sincere smile. Could say a million things. Could say nothing at all. Could ask what he means, but you're taking it at face value. Genuinely think he's just happy to be home.
"We should visit more often," you suggest.
"I'd like that," he nods as he squeezes your hand. "You wanna go explore the night markets?"
Grinning, you get to your feet immediately. "Thought you'd never ask."
Jeongguk leads the way. Shows you his old haunts. Gets you hotteok from his favourite stand down by the promenade. Shows you the arcade machine he once spunked away 50,000 won on and didn't even win a prize. Shows you the initials he and Jimin caved into a pavement curb fourteen years ago. Took them hours. Both got blisters. Worth it though. They're embedded in the city, forevermore.
He takes you down memory lane, and you find it's your favourite street to visit with Jeongguk. You love his history; learning what shaped him. Who shaped him. Where.
Not once does Jeongguk let go of your hand.
Not down the markets, not along the beach, not in the taxi home, even when he doses off for a moment, head resting on your shoulder.
Not once. Not until you're both home, and he's saying goodnight outside of his brother's bedroom door. He's still toying with your fingers. Isn't even gonna suggest the idea of doing things you know you shouldn't.
Doesn't wanna taint the night.
In the morning, he'll blame all of his bad decisions on the alcohol. Will say he was tipsy, even though you stopped drinking hours ago.
He hugs you goodnight. Lingers a little too long. Too close. Nudges his nose against yours. Brushes his thumb against your cheek.
"This..." he whispers. "This is what it should be like."
His jaw tenses. He holds himself back from pressing his lips against yours like he so desperately wants to. Knows he's already said too much. Pulls himself away from you, to press a kiss against your forehead.
His lip ring is so hard, and his lips so soft, that it makes you feel all sorts of fucked up.
The most fucked up thing of all?
How badly you want his lips on yours.
But then he fucking walks away .
Closes his door. Shuts you out.
The evening had been so simple. So straightforward. Casual. Nothing confusing in the slightest. You were happy. So was he.
And yet as you lie in bed, all that rattles around in your head for hours on end is the question: what the fuck is happening to us?
AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI
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It's proposal day! It's another Lucy day!
One thing that I noticed in between the suitors, and Lucy's non explained accepted proposal is how the tone in the paragraph where she talks about the sexist ideas of women being lesser than men seems to be... dejected, and I dare to say exhausted.
I suppose that we women are such cowards that we think a man will save us from fears, and we marry him.
The language that Lucy uses, the sudden inclusion of it when she is talking about the proposals, all of it feels like a rehearsed point that has been hammered into Lucy's head many times. It reads as she is is trying to interrupt her sadness over rejecting Quincey and Jack by reminding herself that her feeling don't matter in the situation.
This is not only simple misogynist ideals that Bram Stoker included in a female character, but also there is something deeper there that alludes to Lucy restricting herself because of her education as a lady.
Mr. Seward, and Mr. Morris are the ones suffering after the proposals, not her. She, the 19 years girl who is for the first time steping into the role of victorian woman, is the cause of their suffering, so Lucy as a woman cannot feel bad for herself because her own existance isn't noble nor worthy. Lucy must center her conflicting feelings, and her tears around the two gentleman she had to reject.
This is not an opinion for Lucy, it's a fact that her entire social, and cultural environment has been telling her since she was born. However there is this little detail that makes her comments a little bit worse for her mental space.
why are men so noble when we women are so little worthy of them? Here was I almost making fun of this great-hearted, true gentleman.
Remember that this is Lucy writing to Mina, and consequently Jonathan because she gave her permission to tell him; two people that she is implied to know since chilhood, and two lovers that definitely do not follow the picture that Lucy paints. In this letter Lucy is almost baring her soul enough to Mina, who despite most likely holding the same ideals doesn't experience the actual whole weight of them as a woman.
Even if it's very clear that she is utterly smittem with Arthur, does Lucy longs for the odd for the times dynamic of Mina and Jonathan? Does she feels that as much as she loves Arthur with all of heart, all of that stuff will still resonate in every step, and action she takes in their marriage?
Oh, why must a man like that be made unhappy when there are lots of girls about who would worship the very ground he trod on? I know I would if I were free—only I don't want to be free.
...
I am very, very happy, and I don't know what I have done to deserve it.
Lucy is midly aware that her position is a cage, even if she chose the man she will marry she still views her own decision as the entrance of a cage. However, thanks to her upbringing, Lucy doesn't see this as an opportunity to try, and build a relationship with equal footing like Mina, instead Lucy tells herself that she, as a woman, doesn't deserve enough the happiness she feels.
And that is so tragic.
#New skill unlocked: let's examine the misogyny in this book in a deeper manner#Yes it's bad yes it was a product of its time (even thought some ideas are still today but that's another conversation) but why is it bad#How is it bad and in what way influences both Lucy and Mina within the narrative#dracula daily#dracula#lucy westenra
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All my Empanada's arts
It has been a long journey. And I wanted to my homage to Empanada, what a good little egg. I also drew her a lot until I reached this design, which I think is my favorite one for her. So hey, why don't hop on my memories for a second and take a look in all my Empanada fanarts?
You never forget the first one. I drew this on the same day we all met Empanda, our little pancake baby.
This one I was trying out with her hair, but the core concept was creating three outfits based on her moms styles. At this point she only had met Bagi, Niki and Mouse, so only made those three.
Baby first heart break </3 God, I still remembering feeling sad and angry with her death.
This one a bit less sad. I was trying out some new brushes and wanted to draw a quick breakfeast trio art. They are a sunset pallette <3
The day Em met Baghera! I thought their interaction was so cute and deep at the same time. Thought Empanada would recruit Baghera to the mom village, even if not as HER mom.
Fun fact, I started this art before the 100 days birthday stream, I only ajusted a bit after seeing our cute girl outfit
This one was for ccBagi's birthday! It took some work, not gonna lie, but so satisfying to make, Empanada's and Richas' curls were so fun to do <3
Not the final art, but the final design. The pancake ear protectos are my favorite for sure.
This one is still a WIP but I will force myself to finish, not metter how many times I cry!
And the last one, at least for now. The Sonnet of Fidelity is one of the most famous brazilian poems, that because the last line has become a almost popular saying in our country usually actully being "bastardized" to: Love, be eternal as long as it lasts.
And that was QSMP and all the little eggos for me, but Em had a little special place in my heart. Always said her and Richas were my children too kkkk Thank you, CherryBee, for giving life to such amazing girl, an unapologetic girlie girl that would wack people with her frying pan, that loved flowers and sweets, that loved her moms, siblings and tios. She wanted to protected everyone, she wanted to be loved, she wanted to live a long life. She was insecure, scared, protective, kind, smart and so much braver than she though she was.
We never got to say goodbye to her.
The littlest girl ever. So pitica.
Obrigada, Cherry.
Adeus, Em. Muito te amo.
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HERE IS MY RAMBLING CONCERNING TMAGP 17
Spoilers under the cut of course
Disclaimer: I spent 2 hours on this post making theories up as I went. It's probably not making sense in some ways but at this point I just want to finish it because even if it was fun to write I'm kind of too tired of it to reread it for typos and everything. Please feel free to point out things that do not make sence and make your own theories (I love reading them and will probably reply but I'm just done at the moment), but I won't change anything on this post because I don't want to spend another 2 hours or more theorising.
Okay so there a lot happening in this episode...
Let's talk about Today's "Protagonist" statement, Darrien.
Statement and Research assessment
for candidate PD553
Magnus Institute – Oxford Outreach
Centre.
Private and confidential.
Viability as subject – low
Viability as agent – low
Viability as catalyst – low
Recommend continued incarceration
as part of Welling Mutare Materia
research program.
The Magnus institute makes a comeback ! In this document, Darrien is said to be a candidate, not a patient, not a suspect, a candidate.
And with it's viability on everything, I'm part of the people convinced TMAGP Magnus Institute served the same purpose as the Institute for TMA.
Viability as catalyst - For me, a catalyst would be the tipping point to send the world into an apocalypse, (so the equivalent of Jon/the Archivists).
Viability as agent – For the Agents, I think this would be more like the Assistants in TMA. Here to "help" the catalyst reach the goal of the Institute. Or also maybe something kind of similar to the Externals of the OIAR, to take care of "nuisances"
Viability as subject – I'm a bit more lost considering the subjects. But it could perhaps be "Test subjects", in a trying artefacts and spooky powers on them way ? This is the one I'm less certain about.
One question I'm wondering, is the Magnus Institute still fully Eye aligned, perhaps being more controled by the Web, or since the fears have been said to be more muddled in TMAGP (Said by Jonny or Alex if I'm right), just wanting to bring the apocalypse without any perticular Fear getting more control ?
Coming back to Darrien.
He got caught, probably having Sharon tipping the institute off (With a Statement perhaps ? Having your violent boss mysterious half-brother/doppleganger killing him and taking his place would probably work as a statement)
I’ve lived Darien’s life for four years now. It wasn’t as hard as you’d think, turns out your world and mine are pretty similar.
The whole statement makes me think of the woman in TMA with Hill Top Road, who 'slipped' into another world.
And of course, of the person classifying this statement, our dear Celia.
The Case finishes and CELIA considers it for a moment. ALICE
is sat nearby working with headphones on.
CELIA
(to computer)
Thanks, I guess. Not exactly the
same is it?
ALICE
(removing earbuds)
What's up? Got a good one?
CELIA
Nothing useful.
ALICE
(returning earbuds)
I mean when are they ever?
CELIA
True.
Beat.
She sighs.
CELIA CONT.
(to herself)
True.
I have to admit first, one of the first thoughts that came to mind on the Celia situation after this episode was "She didn't kill her other self to steal her son and her place, right ?"
But, this part makes me think otherwise
Thanks, I guess. Not exactly the
same is it?
Not exactly the same, so I'm more of the opinion that she relates more to the 'getting stuck in another world' part rather then the 'murdering your other self'.
The baby, Jack could have came from her pre-TMA apocalypse life, which could explain the lack of father (hard to ask for child support from a man you don't remember in another world (if she is the same Celia as in TMA, and don't even remember her own name, Id say it's not too far fetched that she might not remember a significant other), with the pregnancy perhaps having been halted from progressing by the domains, a cryptic pregnancy or just something that wasn't mentioned in the TMA episodes or more simply, it could be a one night stand that lead to nowhere in TMAGP world.
Now at this point, I think it's pretty safe to say that Celia came to work in the OIAR looking for information, on how she came to this world or the reason she seems to sleepwalk.
Talking about her sleepwalking accidents, she woke up next to an highway and on the tracks of a train. Now I wonder why whatever is trying to kill her by putting her in dangerous situations, because I don't think normal sleepwalking takes you to Oxford.
Writing this I realised the document mentionned Oxford Outreach Center as some kind of a branch of the Magnus Institute, and it's also mentioned as a place where the rich Darrien had gone to university.
So there the possibility that something is trying to kill her (perhaps because she doesn't belong in this world), but also she could be attracted to some kind of place ?
LOOKING BACK TO HILL TOP ROAD ON GOOGLE MAPS I REALISED THAT
1: It's located in Oxford
2: There is multiple universities around it
So she could be attracted to Hill Top Road because there might be some kind of pull to it for people from other universes. Because at this point I don't think her and Darrien are the only ones that ended up in another universe.
Anyway, there was a new receptionist behind the old front desk, some big, soft looking guy who stumbled over every word. A year ago, it would have probably wound me right up but what can I say? Therapy works.
There was another patient too, some bookish-looking guy with serious city miles. I used to play the game “what are you in for” where I would pass the time guessing… well, you know. In my head he was definitely some kind of weird pervert, really into stroking orchids or something. Thinking back, I almost wonder if the same thing happened to them… Do you know? Would you even tell me if you did?
This feels a LOT like a red hearing, I can almost hear Jonny and Alex cackling knowing we would freak out about those descriptions. I want JonMart to be okay, but I think they could just be lookalikes of TMA Jmart. Or just alternate universe versions of Jon and Martin because i'm still dead set on the TMA Jon, Martin and Jonah are stuck in the putter theory.
If I'm following the dopplegangers we have here, Darrien ended up with his other self and killed him. Celia (aka probably TMA Lynne Hammond), couldn't remember her own name, so it could probably be difficult to track her TMAGP self (who would probably still be name Lynne since Celia only lost her name in the apocalypse) if she has one, suffer from sleepwalking that tries to kill her/bring her back to Hill Top Road.
Could something try to eliminate doppegangers so there is only one left in a universe ? And since Celia can't find TMAGP Lynne, something could try to make things "right" by killing one the double.
#tmagp spoilers#tmapg theory#tmagp 17#tmagp celia#the magnus protocol#magnus protocol#tmagp#some of those theories probably don't make any sense#but I have been on this post for 2 hours#And my brain love making connections out of nowhere#So enjoy :)
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For you ships: what's one thing one half does that drives the other crazy? Could be crazy with annoyance or crazy with love lol
Thank you for your ask! So, I am going to break this down by fandoms. Enjoy!
The BatFam:
I'm starting with my favorite family of Cryptids. I believe that anyone who's ever been in a relationship with one of the bats has generally the same thing that annoys the crap out of them. In fact, I'm sure there's plenty of things. However, I want to talk about two. The first would be the bats and their paranoia, and the second would be their willingness to throw themselves in the line of fire on TV or with no backup plan that they can admit to having.
Like whoever you ship the bats with you can guarantee that there has been a moment in that relationship where they have had to go and either save them from a villain or save them from falling out of the sky. Only for their bat to go, "I had it."
All of their current and past love interests have so many gray hairs.
Also, to love a bat is to endure their contingency plans. They will have a way to stop you if you turn evil. In fact, they have several, and no, they won't tell you.
On the flip side, I could see the bats being annoyed for the pettiest of reasons.
Like Damian gets annoyed with Jon because he refuses to let him sleep in the barn with the animals...during winter. He also gets annoyed when Jon tries to treat him fragilly. Many arguments have started from that and ended with "IM THE SON OF THE BAT!"
Dick is better. He got most of his gremliness out as a child. However, he will get extremely annoyed if you eat his stash of cereal. Or if you take his siblings' side during an argument.
People do joke that Jason is always annoyed. He isn't, but he also doesn't see a point in hiding his frustration. However, he gets annoyed to death when someone goes into battle unprepared. He is resourceful and will chew people out for getting hurt in a clearly avoidable incident.
Tim is a lot like Jason, where annoyed sometimes feels like his default. However, he only gets annoyed when people talk over him. Or that one time that Bernard told him he couldn't punch his way out of all problems and Conner agreed with him. Tim pouted for like a week. Bernard is constantly annoyed when his boyfriends are late for a dinner date because they stopped a criminal. There's two of them and they both had to get sidetracked? Ridiculous.
Cass doesn't get annoyed, really. Of course, not many people would be brave enough to annoy Cass. Steph can be ridiculous, but Cass usually looks on in fond amusement rather than annoyance. She does love seeing Steph go all superhero mod, though.
MOVING ON!
The Mighty Ducks
Banksway: There are definitely a couple of things that drive Adam crazy with annoyance but also crazy with love at the same time. One thing is when Charlie truly believes something, he will stubbornly follow his beliefs even to the point of ruin. Like I could see Charlie coming out because he is so intent on his feelings for Adam and he's like "I'm not going to fucking hide you!" It's so endearing but but Adam really wishes he would just listen to him. He also gets annoyed with Charlie stubbornness. Especially since a lot of the times if Charlie thinks he's right he will act like he's right. Until he's proven wrong. However if he is proven right he will rub it in Adam's face a little bit. On the flip side when it comes to Adam Charlie gets annoyed that he doesn't always voice how he really feels. Like unless you push Adam to the breaking point, he will conceal; don't feel his way out of most things. It's not that animal won't fight for things it's just that a lot of things you just doesn't see the reason to put in the effort. He's very good at following rules, and Charlie wishes he wasn't.
Gerreau: I don't think there's much that Connie and Guy get annoyed with each other about. It does drive guy crazy with love when he sees Connie do her leadership thing. Like he loves to see her take charge. He doesn't know it but Connie does the same thing with him. She loves to Hype him up and she just adores him. Like he could bake cookies and she would just be so madly in love because he did that. It is truly adorable.
Hazbin Hotel
Now you didn't specify fandoms, so I'm including this one because these are some of my newer ships.
Huskerdust:
Obviously, Husk gets annoyed when Angel is fake. It drives him insane when he tries to hide how he's actually feeling behind his facade. However, it also drives him crazy with love when he gets to see Angel do something he really loves, like dancing. He just gets all warm and fuzzy all over. For Angel, it drives him mad when Husk thinks badly of himself or thinks that he isn't worth redeeming. He gets very passionate and will scream affection at Husk. Saying things like how he is worth more than any of those other lowlives outside the hotel. Then he will hug and cuddle Husk until he agrees with him.
Radioapple:
I feel like a better question is what these two do that doesn't drive the other person crazy. Like Alastor can stand slightly different and Lucifer will think he's doing it to annoy him. Which is exactly what Alastor is doing. They are constantly butting heads, and that's why they work. No one pushes them to outdo themselves like the others! Sometimes, they even push each to be better, if only on accident. They are a disaster, and that's why I love them.
Chaggie:
I don't think it's a big annoyance, but I do feel like Vaggie gets a little annoyed at Charlie's willfulness to trust almost anyone. Vaggie is always on edge if there is even a chance someone will betray them. However, Charlie isn't like that, and it can be frustrating. However, that's also why Vaggie loves her. It drives her insane with love when she sees Charlie tap into all her power and show the world who they are messing with. For Charlie, she kinda gets frustrated with Vaggie's trust issues, but she tries not to express it. She is driven mad with love when she sees her girlfriend fight for the hotel.
Anyways, that is all. Thank you! 😊
#anon ask#anon answered#batfam#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#stephcass#timberkon#jayroy#joyfire#birdflash#damijon#jonathan samuel kent#the mighty ducks#adam banks#charlie conway#banksway#guy germaine#connie moreau#hazbin hotel#huskerdust#radioapple#chaggie#hazbin angel dust#hazbin husk#hazbin alastor#lucifer morningstar
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Ok, it might be controversial, but nothing hateful.
I really think that Tim hasn't been a true support for Lucy before. Don't get me wrong, I think he did a lot of wonderful things for her, including digging her from her grave and then provided her with some hard won perspective. But when I was bindging Rookie in March, I was kind of struck by the inconsistency between how much she was helping him way before their relationship (Radio gag, hospital visit, hospice visit to just name a few) and how he was helping her (usually a rough convo in the shop or just different kinds of Love Kernels™). He even gets lightly called out for that with terse nods being his love language and I myself saw that brightly in their narrative in the documentary episode of S5.
And I get it. Tim has never been particularly emotional and warm. He was most of the time to the point and white-male'y (not necessarily in a bad way, rel DOD trauma) and sometimes used humor to release the tension (hiv needle, Lucy getting shot). But... I've never really liked that too much. I always found this disproportion bothering a bit, because I myself am anxious and often in need of reassurance (sometimes even inadequatly big).
This is why I think 6x10 elevator scene is a big change in Chenford dynamics. I am excited to see Tim showing up for Lucy in S7 in the same warm and kind way she's shown up for him ever since his bullet wound in the pilot. I am excited for Tim to use his words and stop taking Lucy for granted (the way he stopped in the finale). I am excited for their dynamics to be more symmetrical and soft and warm with a sweet banter on top.
This is also why I think 6x10 wouldn't be possible before Tim's therapy. I think they've already started portraying his change and I myself see that elevator dialogue as a huge one.
Sorry for tl;dr rambling. Hope someone finds that helpful.
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