#i live for the drama of Techno's execution

[nobodywritingao3]

angst au of Your Love. alternate version of the story that i dont htink ill end up writing but a version of the story that i really like :3

bullet point fanfic (long post)

so. the version of your love that im writing wont get taken into this direction at all, but i really liked the plotline of this potential fanfic

i dont think ill ever write it but i thought it was cute and fun and mostly just angsty which is 100 percent my cup of tea :3

Your Love AU that will probably never get written lol

picks up several years after phil's reveal (background info: phil is a giant who adopted wil, tommy, techno who are humans. he revealed his nature to them a few years prior in a way that really scared them. vore involved.)

in this au, the family never really healed from what happened

the kids grew steadily distant from him as the years went on & phil tried to make peace with the fact that after they turned of age, theyd probably refuse to see him

he's right, after tommy becomes an adult all three of them disappear from his life

if i were to write this fic, id probably have an angsty chapter where phil tries to invite them home for special holidays and anniversaries and they refuse to come home / gradually refuse to pick up the phone at all, and eventually he gives up and just drinks the holidays away to avoid having to deal with the pain

eventually the king tracks him down & this time phil doesnt win

phil is captured and brought to the kings' dungeons to act as his executor via eating any prisoners or such that the king doesnt like

phil doesnt want to do this so the king casts a few spells on him to make him more compliant as well as to completely erase his memory

phil gets used to his life as a prisoner. insert another angst chapter where phil is abused by the king and made to live in horrible conditions but accepts it because he doesnt think he deserves better. lots of self worth problems and ":( im a horrible giant monster that eats people ;-;" phil just having a horrible time

eventually one of the kids has to return home for something.

pov switch to that kid and a quick catch up chapter where their life is going pretty well, theyre sucessful and happy but theres always a sense that something in their life is missing or wrong. they feel a little guilty for ditching phil. for extra drama the three kids grew apart as adults

they need something from home, so they call the house and no one picks up. they keep calling and nothing happens so they start to worry. they call their siblings and eventually the worry grows

after an uncomfortable chapter where theyre together and weighing the pros and cons of returning home, they argue and agree that they need to check on phil

they go home and find the house completely ruined because of the king's abduction, which at this point happened a few years ago.

they guiltily reflect on the fact that they had no idea that phil had been in trouble for years at this point. angsty reflection chapter where they finally have to confront how they feel about him

they agree to go look for phil

they spend time scouting and researching and are almost ready to give up when they hear through the rumor mill that the king has a "domesticated" giant hes using to execute people

the giants needs handlers because it keeps eating the people who fill the position - most people take the side of the handlers and think the giant is a monster, but tech,wil,tommy see through that and know phil wouldnt eat anyone unless provoked

they sign up to be handlers and because the king sucks the hiring process is flimsy and they get the jobs right away

the potions made phil an amnesiac who doesnt remember anything, including his kids

so tommy, wilbur, techno have to act as his jailers and handlers while he doesnt remember a thing

in the beginning of their relationship he doesnt trust them and kind of hates them, he threatens to eat them a few times and it badly freaks them out, but they tough it out

eventually their relationship grows a lot stronger

caring for him while hes sick and abused makes them see him as he is and theyre all very regretful for inadvertantly putting him into this position, but they never want to tell him how theyre related to him

he likes them and begins to see them as sons but he refuses this part of him because of his self worth problems

theres always an underlying tension, because in the beginning phil had threatened to eat them for real and theyre always acutely aware of the fact that they are his jailers

as they grow closer the king gets angry at them for cutting phil too much slack. insert a horrible angsty scene where the boys are forced to hurt phil and he takes it because he knows the situation theyre in. forced whumpage

at the end hes exhausted and beat down and the kids are all on the brink of tears but he tells them he forgives them

the king's surveillance puts a new strain on the relationship

they start plotting even harder on how to break phil out

the king wants to break down phil's spirit because the kids are starting to uplift him, so he cruelly tells phil that he actually has three kids on the outside who never came for him / abandoned him

tommy, techno, and wil are all losing their minds as this is happening because theyre worried about the effect itll have on phil as well as if this means the king has figured them out

phil is a mess after finding out he adopted human kids who abandoned him when they found out what he was and wil, tech, tommy have to take care of him and get him out of his depressive funk while fully knowing they caused it

insert a few angsty scenes where he talks to them about his sons and is obviously very distraught about it

the boys try to bring him back to baseline but its not going well

they hear through the kings' servants that the king is planning to execute phil because hes getting harder to control, and his most recent bout of sadness has rendered him harder to use

wil, tech, and tommy really start to panic now. they figure out a way to get phil out of the castle

they do the escape attempt

something goes wrong and phil eats one of them thinking theyre one of the king's soldiers, which makes him lose his mind because he thinks theyll die

after the other two get him out they have to explain to him that its fine cuz his nervous system is wired to recognize him as his kids

hes pissed and angrily explaining to them how this is impossible. he does see them as his kids, but his nervous system didnt rewire itself because they were already adults when they met him

reveal time

phil is their dad lollll. those children who left him behind and didnt find out he was missing until years after are wil tommy and tech

phil fully starts to lose his mind

he brings up whoever he stored and they help him shrink down into his human form

hes still an absolute mess. he feels ashamed and embarassed and betrayed and angry / lots of other horrible conflicting emotions

pushes him into the a very sad mood and the boys have to take care of him again

the relationship gets better over time and phil starts to recover

theres an argument between phil and the kids and it makes the relationship tense and awful again

the king comes back looking for phil

he almost dies and the kids save him, and then he has to save them

they get closer

happy ending

it definitely gets less fleshed out by the end, but yeah. basic plotline for the your love angst au i dont think ill ever end up writing.

this would be a story where phil is a giant for like 98% of the story, and vore would probably feature in every single chapter. itd probably be a bit spookier than my other stories for that reason

let me know if this is something youd ever want to see me properly write. i have a lot of passion for this idea and at a better time its the kind of thing id start writing up right away.

im trying to think of a nickname for this au. i think ill go with love stuck from the mother mother song

cool cool. thanks for reading my nonsense!

editing to add a poll actually

#Love Stuck fanfic #your love (deja vu) fanfic #cw vore #hard vore #soft vore #mcyt gt #mcyt g/t #bullet point fanfic #long post

[bareexpression]

"It's the caffeine, the nicotine, the milligrams of tar It's my habitat, it needs to be cleaned, it's my car It's the fast talk they use to abuse and feed my brain It's the cat box it needs to be changed, it's the pain It's women, it's the plight for power it's government It's the way you're giving knowledge slow with thought control and subtle hints It's rubbing it, It's itching it, It's applying cream It's the foreigners sight seeing with high beams, It's in my dreams It's the monsters that I conjure, It's the marijuana It's embarrassment, displacement, it's where I wander It's my genre, It's Madonna's videos It's game shows, cheap liquor, blunts, and bumper stickers with rainbows It's angels, demons, gods, it's the white devils It's the monitors, the soundman, it's the fucking mic levels It's gas fumes, fast food, Tommy Hil' and mommy's pill Columbia House music club, designer drugs and rhyming thugs It's bloods, crips, fives, six It's stick up kids, It's christian conservative terrorists, it's porno flicks It's the east coast, no it's the west coast It's public schools, it's asbestos It's mentholated, It's techno It's sleep, life, and death It's speed, coke, and meth It's hay fever, pain relievers, oral sex, and smokers breath It stretches for as far as the eye can see It's reality, fuck it , it's everything but me

On and on and on and on The list goes on and on and on and on.

It's in the water, it's in the air, it's in the meat It's indirect, indiscrete, inconsistent, incomplete It's in the streets, every city and everywhere you go In every man it's the insanity, the fantasy, the casualties It's the health care system, it's welfare victims It's assault weapons, it's television religion, and it's false lessons It's cops, police, pigs with badges guns and sticks It's harassment and a complex you carry when you're running shit It's wondering if you get to eat, it's the heat It's the winter , the weather It's herpes, and it's forever It's the virus that takes the lives of the weak and the strong It's the drama that keeps on between me and my seed's mom It's that need to speak long, it's that hunger for attention It's the wack , who attack songs of redemption It's prevention, It's the first solution It's loose, it's out for retribution, it's mental pollution and public execution It's the nails that keep my hands and feet to these boards It's the part time job that governs what you can afford It's the fear, It's the fake It's clear it can make time stop and leave you stranded in the year of the snake It's the dollar, yen, pound, it's all denomination It's hourly wages for your professional observations It's on your face and it's in your eyes It's everything you be 'Cause it ain't me, motherfucker, cause it ain't me, uh

On and on and on and on The list goes on and on and on and on."

#Atmosphere #scapegoat #nothing has changed #Spotify

[frostythefrostedfox]

#ReadAnotherBook and stop crying about the idw comics

Please fill in the annexed form so your feedback can be properly ignored and laughed at when the owner of the blog has nothing better to do, which is most of the day anyways. Thank you!

And worry not fellow "too-scared-to-use-my-user", brother of "i-need-anon-to-talk-shit", cousin of "i-couldnt-just-read-another-post-instead", there are other posts underway such as why Techno-Karen is a nothing character; how midtiers manages to please everyone by pleasing nobody, how sonic prime is actually really bad, more metal gear fangirling and much more reviews of games that only I like, like Drakengard.

Also, on an unrelated note

I know who you are, so I am glad to see that despite our differences in opinions, you still come back to read the things I say and bitch about all day long, I really cannot wait for your next comment, as these are the only way I have of measuring the quality of the content I provide, but to show you that I care about the feedback and would love to see more of it, I can complain about another "book", just for you, that's right, all you had to do is ask, so simple! That way you can see that I dislike many things, not just one in particular.

One of the parts that I dislike the most about the Archie Sonic comics is how much they stray away from everything Sonic related, yes, they are a part of a different continuity like Sonic X and Sonic Boom, yet those two still maintain the characters for what they are, while here they become basically the opposite, Sonic being an insufferable annoying cunt with an ego as big as the sun, being obstuse and never listening to anything was quite the shocker, considering that Sonic has never and will probably never act like that in any game, why is Sonic being portrayed as this almighty hero that feeds off social clout and only lives to be praised by the masses as if he was Homelander from The Boys; Archie strayed away in more ways than just the characters tho, one of them was also the topic and the messages of their stories, Sonic was never intended to have a conglomerated storyline, full of political drama and serious real life parallels that would make you rethink the way society acts, yet Archie is full of those, Archie believes that it can make itself "mature" just because everyone is mean and walter white is canon to their universe and there are tyranical leaders, but being mature is more than that, and games like sonic 06 really showed that you can still have a "kid friendly" game while having a mature storyline despite its own flaws, big flaws, in the execution of said game.

A personal gripe of mine is also the artstyle, at times it can look good and fitting, but most the time it looks out of place, wonky and amateurish, most sonic meme reaction images come from Archie for a reason, yet even when it looks good in my opinion, it still has this cartoonish look to it that makes it look very fake to me, but again, this point is entirely a subjective thing as I prefer more realistic artstyles in the media I consume, like the one used in Sonic X and Sonic 06.

I really hope you enjoyed this mini commentary on Archie, I really put a lot of effort into it, I really want people to see that I am able to complain about everything! Mayhaps I'll even make this into a full post about Archie, who knows, but if it does, I want you to know that this was only possible thanks to YOU, if it wasn't for your comment, I would have never realized these things, thanks!

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

Fic title: "Lost Legends"

Izuku loves heroes. He especially loves the older heroes, the heroes from the beginning of the Quirk era. Those who fought back against the government meant to shove them down and destroy them. Nowadays they'd be called vigilantes, lawless.

But to Izuku they're heroes. He pours over the books and learns all he can about them.

He has his favorites- Silk String, Lazer Bright, Techno.

They're all amazing and beautiful.

But his favorite has to be Shift- the hero who could mimic any other Quirk and could vanish into midair without a word. Known only by the thick leather book they carried strapped to their waist.

Their disappearance was the mystery of the decade. Silk String died holding up a building to save a hundred people. Lazer Bright was arrested and executed. Techno lived until the beginning of the age of heroes and then retired.

But Shift simply vanished. Like they had never been.

Izuku looked and looked but could never find out why. It frustrated him enough that when he went into a bookstore and saw the leather book with the green markings- so much like the picture he saw of Shift's book- he bought it without thought.

The bookstore vanished the next day.

(Immortality is boring. Being a governing being between the worlds is boring. Cleaning up the messes of others is BORING.

The Bartender sighs and puts down the glass they're wiping, sighing again dramatically enough they catch the attention of their... partner is the word they suppose. They became celestial beings together many years ago. They run the Bar together, and deal with idiots together.

"Bored?" Ari asks, amusement deep in their voice.

"Yes. I'm ready for something exciting to happen." The Bartender sighs, and moves to arrange the 'confiscated items because the other being were idiots who let mortals play with things to early' box. They shuffle through it before pulling out a leather book with green markings. "Huh, remember this? I wonder what chaos would happen if I drop it back into the world too early?"

Silence fills the bar and the two beings share a smile.)

It's a spell book Izuku noticed. The spells were mostly things like 'good luck charm' or 'money attraction'. But one... struck him. It was in the middle of the book and simply said 'Mimic'.

Reading it, Izuku discovered the spell was the ability to mimic someone, becoming that person. It called for a picture of the person, a favourite food of the person and a drop of blood of the caster.

As a joke, Izuku wished to be All Might.

He turned his hair blonde and grew to seven feet.

It was enough.

Pairing for this: Aoyama/Monoma/Deku because the sheer DRAMA kid factor here needs to be observed. Because of the following, and because Deku now is a shapeshifter who can and WILL just copy people. So Monoma likes it, and then helps Izuku cultivate the drama. Aoyama stumbles upon it and like any dramatic pansexual is all over it.

Notes: Izuku totally ends up a vigilante by accident and doesn't get caught being one for like a year cause he's smart enough to turn into heroes who patrol his area. Most just shrug and figure they probably saved that person.

Except for Aizawa. He knows he didn't. It's driving him NUTS. Then when someone reports someone with some shapeshifting Quirk swapped between two heroes, Aizawa is like: I KNEW IT- wait how did they KNOW ME?

#bnha #bnha au #fic title ask game

[ruby-whistler]

Alright curious anon here. All this is /dsmp /rp from here on out unless otherwise specified and is refering to characters. If i make any mistakes or am misinformed please let me know! So by the cat was nothing compared to mushroom henry i was meaning more toward the fact that the cow was killed as a punishment for something not worth or ok for it to be killed for at all and the fact that it belonged to tommy, wheareas the cat was killed more to annoy dream and belonged to tommy. (1/?)

alright then another lengthy reply, here i come! /lh /dsmp /rp

Dream also did not seem to mourn the cat much, shrugging it off with a "just more motivation to break out".

it was killed to hurt dream, not to "annoy him". it doesn't matter who it belonged to, c!dream was attached to it and it died, which had an effect on him and also further proved his point about attachments being weakness and caring getting you hurt, and it's still very sad.

you say that it was not ok at all to kill mooshroom henry, but the cat's death wasn't ok either, so i really don't see your point.

again, i disagree it was "nothing compared to" either way. i never meant to compare them in the first place, i was simply talking about the cat and c!dream so i don't see why it is in any way necessary to drag c!tommy and other dead pets into this. /nm

also, it isn't true he didn't mourn it. he is a very reserved person who doesn't show his feelings much, that's true, but the cat death still changed the way he acted afterwards, as well as the attempts he made to prevent it. he didn't "shrug it off", he yelled about it because he was understandably upset.

You mentioned that propganda was used to make dream seem like a tyrant, could you specify a bjt? Cus im a little confused srry /gen. Because the most i can remember from the lmanburg era at least is him being called a b'tch or other similar insults. You also mentioned how trauma responses can be differet which is true! I agree! Do you have any ideas to what caused dream the trauma?

wilbur would continuously make him out to be some sort of oppressive, tyrannical force, in front of his troops - a prime example of this being the lyrics of the l'manberg anthem itself and the l'manberg declaration of independence.

actually! here's a nice thread about l'manberg's establishment complete with links, timestamps and evidence :]

i also said in my previous post what could've possibly caused it, but since the character intentionally hides his emotions from the public, it would be difficult to see how things really affected him - which is why the way his spiral went is the majority of the evidence that would imply it, however it does make sense within the story as well with what i mentioned last time.

I would like to note that for sapnap at least had reason to leave dream. Some examples off the top of my head are dream leading an angry fundy to sapnap's pets on purpose, resulting in some deaths, dream assisting tommy in burning down sapnap's effiel tower where he got engaged to karl, and dream giving tommy either mars or the other fish at the battle of the lake. Idk about george tho other then the whole mexican lmanburg/el rapids thing and decrowning him

c!sapnap was actually at fault for most of this, and it wasn't really ever betrayal on c!dream's part.

c!dream is a mediator and he wants to stop everyone's conflict - c!fundy was angry because of c!sapnap's actions, and hence it made more sense for c!dream to centre him on c!sapnap's animals instead of running around killing everyone's pets (at that time, all c!dream knew was c!sapnap did something really bad and c!fundy wanted beckerson / mars from him, which were also his and c!george's fish).

c!sapnap was an instigator, and in multiple conflicts during the time as well as before he'd align himself against c!dream. he isn't "loyal" per se, he causes chaos and the reason c!dream helped c!tommy was because, c!sapnap, again, killed his pet. the first l'manberg war and then the 16th are signs of the fact that c!dream and c!sapnap were willing to fight together in actual war, but these small conflicts where c!sapnap continuously picked fights weren't about personal loyalty, nor did they seem to affect their relationship at all.

c!george was never really hurt by c!dream either. the dethronement was him very obviously being a guilt-trippy drama queen, but, well, that's just the character. he had stolen the l'mantree while he was supposed to be the diplomatic figure of the greater smp, which is why c!dream was justified in - very politely, may i mention - taking the duties off of him (seeing as he was also trying to keep him safe and c!techno had already assassinated him once).

Im pretty sure i remember cc!sam stating that his character never canonically physically tortured dream during his subathon but take this with a grain of salt as i am looking for the clip currently. So to the best of my knowledge dream did not have a physical contact trigger during tommy's visit which! I rewatched the vod and dream actually was first to hit tommy and i can give you my full writing downs but 10/12 of the phy-

you never finished this point because you had to go do something, but i'll reply to what is here at the moment (i suggest writing these down before sending next time, or even writing them out wholly before sending a single one could help avoid stuff like this).

i am 95% sure that the reason cc!sam stated this was because people were suspicious he had already been doing what c!quackity was doing after - torture within the storyline itself is associated pretty much only with what c!quackity is doing, so that's what he meant, just to clear up confusion - the starvation or terrible conditions haven't been retconned, but it was direct torture (like c!quackity is doing) people were asking him about.

i never said c!dream had a physical contact trigger at all, i don't think he had that, though he probably will after the torture.

huh, ok, i'm gonna have to rewatch then, but i remember c!tommy punching c!dream a lot and him just telling him to stop and only punching back to get him to stop. trigger or not, getting hit isn't very pleasant, if you know what i mean.

You mentioned tommy stealing dream's armor unprovoked. Do you have the vod or a general idea of the time so i can find it? Like before lmanburg after another event so and so because if you do not have it i can find it but any help is appreciated.

i am pretty sure you can find the video on cc!tommy's channel! there are also recaps of the disc war on youtube :]

I wanna talk a little on why the Final Control Room was so messed up. For starters, with the way the room was designed. It was small, and had labeled, empty chests with each person's name on them as a mockery. The next reason is that its bascially a kill box.

It's fairly inescapble with the stairs being ones you have to jump up, slowing anyone who climbs them down. The final reason it is messed up is that it is shown to have caused every person who died in it trauma. With tommy there are several examples, the time he saw it with techno, the way he refuses to go near it, the exposure trauma, etc. Fundy also appears to have trauma, as when the Red Banquet executions began, it can be seen as him being afraid of dying last again.

It can Be thought as tubbo having trauma because he buries most of his issues and pretends to be ok. Moreover this event took at least one of each person's canon lives, making it the most canon lives lost EVER in a dream smp event. (This is not hate on any of the ccs btw i loved this scene and its one of my personal favorites). Plus the fact Eret's betrayal just literally happened, giving at least Tommy and Wilbur canonic trust issues.

i wouldn't call the chests mockery? it was a trap. people had traps on the smp before. it was a trap in the middle of war, supposed to end said war by killing them all at once rather than individually which would be a lot more bloody and difficult.

i agree c!tommy and other people might have post-war trauma, especially if they were young during the time, but i think that's because the final control room was "messed up", moreso because the war itself was. it all happened fairly instantly as well? i don't think c!fundy would be able to realize he was the last one standing within the two second before he wasn't.

it "can be thought" and it can be interpreted like that but besides c!tommy there isn't much evidence for them "all" being traumatized by the final control room. of course betrayal would spark trust issues, i understand that.

The probation was humiliating in my opinion because dream was Sending tommy anatgonizing messages through out the whole meeting, plus he had to write a review of his day every single day, which fundy mocked him for.

i mean, it was definitely a strike to his pride, but he was being extremely uncooperative so i don't really blame the other members of new l'manberg trying to teach him to listen for once? of course i know c!dream was riling him up, and that should definitely be considered. i don't think it would be as humiliating if c!tommy didn't make it, is what i'm saying.

for the tommy being toxic to fundy? At least for the examples you gave, to me personally they come acoross as either in a meta way being the cc's bantering or in canon being the characters having banter. If you can send the post with the clips so i can read the tone better that would be cool but if not i will try and find em.

no, these were all in canon. canon isn't only when c!tommy is being nice, it's also when he's being a jerk. /lh

the first one was him threatening c!fundy about kicking him out of l'manberg and undermining his self-worth, and the second one was him trying to get c!sapnap to vote for them via bullying c!fundy.

i found these from a transcript focusing on c!fundy's character, so i don't know exactly where the first one is from, but the second one i am pretty sure is from when the elections were starting with the whole cabinet battle deal and all of that.

there are other instances, and all of them are canon. his personality was never being nice or compassionate, so i'm not really surprised? he still cares about the people he cares about and is very brave, y'know. but this part of his personality is definitely a valid reason for people to dislike him.

I hope the exam went well :). Hope u have a great day! (Ps i think theres something called a submission box to send in pictures? Am not entirely sure sry)

it would've gone well but my work-speed is a tad too slow for the schooling system (considering i'm three years younger than my classmates,,, probably that's also a factor) so probably not despite the fact i knew everything and would've aced it if i only had more time. i did as well as i could so i'm not worried about it, but thanks!

i think you're thinking submissions. sadly, i tested it and it doesn't work on anons, so idk how you'd solve that, maybe make a burner account?

Curious anon here one point you may wanna include in the redemption essay is that c!tubbo or c!tommy do not necessarily have to forgive him. What's important is that he recognizes what he did was wrong (exile, beating tommy to death, manipulating them both, etc) and does his best to make amends. Hope this helps! Can't wait to see your essay

it's out, idk if you've seen it yet, and i think i included enough of that so hope it's all good! :)

the mcc update video is out if you are an mcc enjoyer. It's very neat, if you wanna check it out

yeah! i am a fellow mcc enjoyer, saw it already, thanks for telling me though, i'm really hype for today.

Allo curious anon here sorry if the lots of asks bother you. I was just curious if i could share an interesting post i saw today about c!dream :0 (not necessarily negative i think? More of a statement of an often-confused canon)

sure thing! i don't know what you mean by often-confused since, the entire fanbase is very confused always, and often selection bias plays into the perception from both sides, but sure :]

you also sent in a thing for the other anon who said they didn't know what c!dream did that bad; pretty sure they couldn't really be alerted since, not sure if they watch my blog that closely, but i'll summarize your points just in case and add some notes;

the repeated blowing up of l'manberg (in my mind that's largely a positive since i,, despise that country, but fair enough), revealed c!ranboo as a traitor (they seem to be friends so i also,, think that might've been planned between him and enderboo), sent ghostbur away (i don't think c!dream knew it was dangerous for him and wanted to actually hurt him, but idk), participated in fighting against c!sapnap when he killed people's pets (that's only negative against c!sapnap and didn't seem to hurt him much at all), and then the whole vault scene where he was allegedly planning to steal people's things (though saying he would & being stopped beforehand and doing it are two different things, frankly).

so i still agree with the other anon that a lot of the hurt he did "to the entire server" (he only negatively interacted with like,, a half of them) is exaggerated both by the characters and the fandom, but i guess that's a consequence of most people seeing him as a threat to everyone's happiness rather than a complex personality.

Also he was aware of the butcher army going to kill techno but only got involved because he saw an opportunity to get a favor. (As he knew in advance due to him telling techno to get a totem, watching from afar instead of interveing or manipulating tubbo out of it)

i don't understand this at all, i'm sorry. how do you know he only helped techno in order to get a favor? last i remember he was only doing it to protect and strengthen his alliance, and techno came up with the whole favor thing entirely on his own. you might've not watched techno's perspective or their prior interactions, idk, but this really is a misinterpretation in my eyes. /nm

sorry if that is overly dream negative i just wanted to let yall know cus you seemed unaware -curious anon

nah dw, i watch the smp and i watched all of these things happen so, wouldn't say unaware, but thanks.

#long post #my asks #curious anon #tw torture #tw animal death #c!dream negativity in asks #nothing aggressive though #so safe to read

[ranboo5]

Feel like going in depth about why CG5's song fits so well? I was a bit disappointed by it on first listen but I'd love any excuse to appreciate it more

Okay so personally I love it for the Sound of it all I am not as versed in music theory as I want to be but with the acoustics and general tone in how it's sung it's comparatively calmer, and the minor intervals at the end of the chorus make it sound a less serious too? This may just be me though bc again I don't know enough abt musical theory but I am SURE that it's like. Like they sound... I don't want to say it sounds like circus music but at least I recognize the intervals/chord progression as less serious? It doesn't sound silly, but it doesn't sound like straight angst yk. It is ALMOST CERTAINLY something to do with leaving the key in a certain way if it's something to do with anything. Either way it makes the entire song sound like not too big a deal and aggressively lighthearted which matches Techno lore... So much. Like

>the lyrics sound so dramatic >but w/ the music it sounds a little bit intentionally hyperbolic, ironic > or resigned. Suddenly it's not just jokes anymore

It fits his style of genuine drama and minimization thereof so well. The resignment kicks in a Lot regarding the more violent lyrics too which. All I can think of is how he was after Nov 16th and the execution and after the prison like FUCK man especially the promise to destroy the prison and say "I'm not taking this personally at all"... all of it though! Like the tone of it all tracks so hard

In terms of specific lyrics I'm obsessed with: "I've been living and fighting in this war of life/But it doesn't matter how hard I try" directly echoes the "no one cares" post-execution and the rest of the first verse evoking Nov 16th and immediately after, and I am Never over that. Also "Still my withering heart/Yearns for peace and mercy/But I'm ready for revolution now/So let the blood stain the ground" is going to kill me. Especially as a last verse and when the tired+resigned vibe has been stacking

[stellocchia]

hey, do you have some advice? i'm not really a niki apologist but i feel the intense urge to defend her pov. i dunno if its because of previous exp in their fandoms that just endlessly shit on girl characters or not or if its because i'm a girl who dislikes seeing a girl character's pov about her feelings and thoughts being used the way they are by the community. on both sides ofc because honestly i'm sick of both and idk what to do.

Well, I'm not really the biggest expert on c!Niki's character to be honest, but I do completely get where your frustration comes from. C!Niki from my understanding of her truly does get misunderstood A LOT and this latest debate is proof of it.

About her character:

Like, are there parts of her character I don't particularly like and think were badly executed? Yes. Honestly season 2 as a whole was a trainwreak for her character. Like, I understand that she was not acting rationally and that she's one of the characters who fell for c!Dream's propaganda during it (ending up convinced that Tommy was the source of all problems), but she was basically irrelevant that whole season. Beginning of season 3 isn't necessarily better. The team rocket arc mostly work because it showcases c!Niki's mentality and way of thinking quite well, but the resulotion of it felt way too abrupt and unearned to be honest.

THAT SAID, I don't think she's a bad character per se. I think that if you look at her narrative it's mostly consistent (except for the one problem I pointed out) and it works with the bigger narrative as well. It's an interesting show of the importance of attachments showing what happens when you loose them without getting rid of them yourself. She's honestly what c!Techno could have been if he was complex enough to be called a character: choosing to lash out with violence and choosing revenge actually making you miserable which fits in with the overarching message of the smp.

And now we get to my biggest crux when it comes to her character: how the fandom treats her.

The fervent apologist problem:

All the people who were supporting her for burning the L'Mantree or who were clamoring for her to kill c!Tommy or c!Wilbur actually completely misread her character and often only boil her down to her gender and nothing more. "She's cool and right in trying to kill a traumatized teen that never did anything wrong to her because she's a woman and that means she's a girlboss" type of mentality.

That's honestly such a disservice to her actual character, it's embarassing. C!Niki as a character is someone who has lived through a dictatorship and a war, she's someone who's opinions and words honestly never mattered (similarly to Fundy) and who chose kindness anyway. She chose to build the Secret City because she cared and wanted to help... but that didn't work out because it wouldn't be the smp if it did. She isolated herself from others burying herself in her work and slowly loosing her connections which made her feel even more abandoned which caused her to lash out. She's a tragic character and (crappy Syndicate connection aside) she's written well enough as one. She's not there to be people's Empowered Female Character that can do now wrong because she's barely a character, her gender is NOT what's important about her.

There is also the thing that a lot of people are uncomfortable with which is the tendency of the fandom to try and pit extremely traumatized characters against each other as if that would solve anything ever and as if that would serve any purpouse aside from sending a very bad message. They do it with c!Tubbo and c!Tommy, constantly trying to make their friendship out to be this horribly unhealthy thing when it's not and they're doing it now with c!Niki and c!Wilbur and it's uncomfortable.

c!Niki is her own character, stop making her story about c!Wilbur:

Now the diametrically opposite problem which I've seen a ton of possibly because I follow a ton of c!Wilbur apologists is people making her story about c!Wilbur.

I've seen this even more after the last stream which honestly said nothing about c!Wilbur. The whole stream was about c!Niki and HER view of the world, the way SHE thinks and the way SHE copes with trauma. C!Wilbur was the focus of her anger only in name because truly the focus was an unholy amalgamation of everything bad that ever happened to her. It wasn't good characterization for c!Wilbur because it wasn't supposed to be. And YET most of the analysis on that stream that I've seen was about HIM. About how none of what she says should matter for our perception of his character, about the fact that he did care, about: "but look at everything he did for her", about the fact that he too is hurt and spiraling about everything BUT HER.

And I get it really, it's annoying to see your favourite character get mischaracterized and see so many people advocate someone else hurting them or killing them (though with c!Tommy being my fave I'm a bit desensitized to it by now. It's really an everyday occurence for us), it's worrying and annoying and I get that. But this stream was not about him and they made it about him. They made it so c!Niki anjoyers have to sift through a shitton of drama just so they can maybe find something on the stream that's about HER and that honestly sucks. Heck, the closest I could find to it was people condescedingly going "punching c!Wilbur would not help c!Niki heal" and I'm just here like: "yeah no shit Sherlock! Can we talk about how she casually mentioned throwing herself off her own buildings and starving herself now? Because that's FAR more interesting honestly".

I think the biggest problem here is people on both sides not understanding that, while c!Niki's story seems to heavily involve c!Wilbur in name that's not actually the case, especially since her story far outlasted his. Her problems won't be all solved by punching him NOR by talking to him and solving their issues because that means assuming that her problems are, in fact, all originated from him. They aren't. They could go back to be friends and nothing would be resolved (and that's without even considering that c!Wilbur is not someone healthy to have around at the moment) because c!Niki's problems come from her tendency to isolate herself and slowly but surely chip away at her own systems of support. Basically she needs therapy and to possibly re-establish her connections to people who aren't, you know, extremely violent war criminals with no capacity for introspection.

#anon ask #wilbur soot #nihachu #c!wilbur #c!niki #dream smp #fandom critical #long post #anon I'm sorry my ranting brain was on today apparently

[felinedetached]

/roleplay I agree that Quackity is without a doubt, power hungry. I actually think that he is going after Dream not because he is like Tommy who just wants to stand against Dream but because he is afraid. He is afraid of Dream but at the same time, he is so damn envious of him. He wants that kind of power and control too. As much as he wants to dress it all up, Quackity crave power and authority. So, how do you think Festival 2.0 is going to go? Especially the reactions from Dream Team?

Okay first: I think you're spot on about quackity there!! Second: ty so much for asking this bc I have thoughts!!! Under the cut, because my thoughts are long as fuck. (Reminder that this is all rp, bc I'm too lazy to put c! In front of every character name in this post)

Note: for the purposes of this post, everyone who sided with Dream during the L'Manburg Massacre + the Badlands is "Dream Team", soley because I want to talk about Bad, Puffy and Punz too.

First: tommy teaming with Techno is going to cause some strain between Techno and Dream. (I'm very sad about this, because I absolutely love the concept of Dream & Techno as a chaos-causing pair and would love to see more of it.) This is going to cause strain because of the whole thing with tommy not liking to think about Dream, Dream repeatedly trying to blow up tommy, all that drama between those two with the fact that tommy now has extremely mixed feelings on Dream and is soley going after the discs now, which Dream has opposed him on the whole time.

This limits their ability to team up during this festival 2.0.

Second: I think tubbo is a lot more traumatised by the festival than he wants to admit. The fact that he didn't just kill Techno, he specifically tried to have him publically executed, and the fact that he's now also trying to recreate what happened to him in order to kill Dream and Techno is very very telling. This,,, generally isn't great, because a lot of people (I'm thinking mainly Niki, Ant, Eret etc, those who were pretty negatively effected at the festival) are going to have very bad reactions to the whole idea of a festival in the first place, even without knowing it's a front for the murder of Dream and Techno. Additionally, with Ghostbur remembering some,,, interesting things on Phil's stream this morning, there might be some Ghostbur drama!

Third: we've got to remember they're trying to kill god here. Dream is assumed to be the god of the smp, with his ? canon remaining lives, the fact that his only known canon death was a /kill on himself & Quackity's whole conversation with a drunk Wilbur, in which he apologized to Dream while calling him god in VC with Wilbur, which is obviously at best debatably canon, but confirms Techno's joke about the chest Dream gave him being "a gift from god".

Fourth: theseus! I'm sorry, I'm a classics major, I have to talk about this. So Techno was right at the festival but I'm just gonna give a slightly bigger version of the story here.

Theseus was the son of Aegeus, the King of Athens, and every year, Athens had to send young men and women to Crete, to fight the Minotaur. Theseus eventually went himself, promising his father that he'd switch out the sails on the boat that returned to Athens with the bodies of the Athenian youths so that his father could know he returned alive. Theseus went into the Labyrinth, and with the help of Ariadne (the daughter of Minos, the King of Crete) Theseus killed the Minotaur. He returned home, forgot to switch out the sails, and in his grief, Aegeus threw himself off the Acropolis. Then there were a few more adventures, including a battle with the Amazons, the Caledonian Boar Hunt (featuring one of my all-time favourite heroes, Atalanta) and an attempted rescue of Persephone. Eventually, he came back to Athens, where he almost immediately got overthrown and exiled. He takes shelter in Scyros, but the king of Scyros, Lycomedes, kills him.

This myth is really interesting in the context of the dream SMP for a few reasons!! First: who takes the place of Aegeus? Is it Phil, tommy's father? Is it wilbur, who's already canonically committed suicide? Is it tubbo, who thinks that tommy is dead? Second: Techno will take the place of Lycomedes. He owes Dream at the moment, for both the totem of undying and the save at his execution, and Dream is really not the biggest fan of tommy right now. Or like, ever. Additionally, Techno's already shown that he'll cave to peer pressure because of the festival, so if Dream asks, Techno will probably do it.

Back to festival 2.0, with dream team reactions this time! Badlands will be interesting. I honestly don't know if they'll even turn up, considering the whole red vines thing they've been dealing with. If they do, and tubbo successfully takes one of Dream's infinite fucking lives, I think Puffy would be pretty horrified, given that she's shown to consider Dream a mildly creepy baby duckling & appears to be generally fond of him. I really can't tell with George and Sapnap at the moment, but I think it might be a relatively violent reaction. Last I heard, they think Dream doesn't care about them & the trio appears to be splintering slightly, which is heartbreaking, but I think no matter how they pretend otherwise, they still care about Dream. Punz, I think, will start murdering people, which is always fun.

For tubbo, though, this festival is really leaning into the whole "Schlatt 2.0" thing. I think he might start drinking (illegally) because of the whole "thinking tommy is dead" thing, and/or he'll lose his last canon life at the festival.

I hope this answered your question? I know I started rambling a little bit, ahaha.

#answered #anonymous #dream smp #dream smp spoilers #long post #the queen's commands #quackity #dream #technoblade #tubbo #tommyinnit #dream team #im sorry i started infodumping

[bewaretheidesofmarchyall]

Hey, i really like minecraft and used to watch mcyt's back when i was younger. I was wondering if you could maybe guide me into the dream smp series. I have no idea where to start or what people are partaking in it. It seems so active rn and you seem to be invested in the plotlines and such so i thought maybe you can help me?

Okay!

The Dream SMP: A History

Warnings for drugs, the selling of drugs, drinking, war, death, explosions, and human/fish relationships

So, once upon a time, there was a Minecraft server.

It didn't have much of a plot or drama, everyone was just kind of playing the game

Then Wilbur showed up.

An important thing to remember about this server: It’s all Wilbur’s fault, except when it’s Dream’s.

Anyway, Wilbur decided to start a Minecraft drug empire (re: potions) out of a hto dog van (I did not misspell that. It’s called the hto dog van).

But they all lived in Dream’s server (Dream is the main Ruler/God/Inconceivable Green Dude of the SMP) and under Dream’s rule. 

He interfered with their “drug” business, so Wilbur did the only logical thing: Declared independence and formed his own nation to sell more “drugs”!

The nation was called L’Manburg, but Dream wasn’t a fan of any of this

And so the Revolution began!!

Part One: The Disc Wars

The main players were Wilbur (the most theater kid of them all), Tommy (The closest thing to a shonen protagonist this thing has), Tubbo (sunshine personified, likes bees, can lie though), and Eret (fuck Eret /j) (In all seriousness, they're awesome)

It was a hard battle.

Dream had way more people. The revolutionaries were outgunned, outmanned, outnumbered, and out planned. And that was before Eret betrayed them.

Eret killed off all of their fellow revolutionaries in exchange for Dream giving them a kingdom.

All seemed lost (Tommy even tried to duel Dream despite being 16 and not the best at combat. He got killed quickly.)

Tommy hadn’t really cared about the revolution in the beginning, but at the end he gave up his most prized possessions (his music discs) to get Dream to leave them alone.

And L’Manburg was an independent nation!

Everyone celebrated in the ways they knew best

In Wilbur’s case, that was sleeping with a fish (yes. a fish. it was a salmon, if that clears anything up) named Sally and having a son: Fundy, furry extraordinaire!

Somehow the middle ground between Salmon and Human is Fox, as Fundy is an anthropomorphic fox.

He was the first person born in L’Manburg, and it seemed like there was to be peace throughout the land once more.

Take one flying guess who screwed that up.

Part Two: The Election

If you guessed Wilbur, we have a winner!

He decided that he needed to win an election to rule the country, and ran as POG 2020, or Wilbur for President.

But he wasn’t unopposed.

Enter Quackity (yes, this is the guy Trump vague tweeted), wanting power but being chill about it, as usual. He decided to throw his beanie into the political ring as Quackity 2020.

It seemed like an easy race, since Wilbur had liberated the nation and Quackity was just Some Guy at this point.

Then, Fundy and Nikki decided to run as Coconut 2020 in a third party bid for the presidency.

THEN, when Schlatt (senile old goat, the corrupt businessman archetype, often drunk) came up to the stage to endorse a candidate, he instead rambled into the mic that he was running for president too.

Like the senile old man they all thought he was.

Little did they know.

Wilbur still could have easily won this election. He was popular and everything. Then, he made a decision.

(Wilbur didn't need to do this, but like all tragic heroes and/or theater kids, he had hubris and was going to make it Everyone's Problem)

He went up to Quackity and suggested that they combine their votes. Quackity wasn't going to win either way, but this way he'd get to be vice president.

Quackity saw that it made sense, but decided that he wanted to be petty that day, and decided to combine votes with Schlatt instead.

And then the votes were counted

Team Coconut came in fourth because they cheated

Team Schlatt came in third because no one wanted the drunken, senile goat to be president

Team Quackity came in second

And Team Wilbur won in a landslide, taking 45% of the votes! 

Tommy ran out of the video to tell his mom they won. And then Wilbur revealed the deal Quackity and Schlatt struck. 

Quackity+Schlatt got 46% of the votes. Schlatt was president of L’Manburg. 

Schlatt immediately takes the podium and starts giving a dramatic speech that sounds less Senile Goat more Dangerous Dictator Goat. He orders that Team Wilbur leave the nation of L'Manburg Manburg (he renamed the country) under threat of death.

Part Three: The Festival

Team Wilbur became Pogtopia, Schlatt and crew became Manburg, and L'Manburg became a nostalgic dream.

The Pogtopians hope to reclaim their nation, and get this absolute madman on their team.

The dude spent a year just farming potatoes to beat someone in a contest. He regularly quotes The Art Of War. He's a die-hard anarchist.

Behold: Technoblade.

So Manburg is a dictatorship at this point in the tale, and Pogtopia is trying its best. 

They have Technoblade, Tommy, Wilbur, probably someone I'm forgetting, and Tubbo. 

Tubbo is their spy on the inside (so is Fundy, but he hasn't even told Pogtopia he's spying for them, so he's regarded as a traitor)

Then the Festival rolls around

Wilbur has been spiraling, and having a little corruption arc because of course the theater kid decides to kin Hamlet (or is it Macbeth in this situation?) 

A day before the festival, he reveals that he's planning on blowing up L'Manburg, because if he can't have it no one can.

The festival comes around, and surprise! Tubbo is publicly executed in front of a crowd!

Schlatt figured out he was a traitor, so he ordered that Techno execute him.

Techno did, but because he was peer pressured. 

Then Techno killed pretty much everyone at the festival with fireworks!

Wilbur tried to blow up the place, but lost the button to detonate the TNT (Side note: The TNT was given to him by Dream. Because of course.)

Part Four: The Revolution 2 (Electric Boogaloo)

By the time the true war for L’Manburg rolls around, next to no one is on Schlatt’s side.

Quackity betrays him, Fundy betrays him, even Eret is back on the side of Pogtopia.

The war went by fast, and Schlatt was surrounded by former allies and enemies alike.

Schlatt had a heart attack before anyone could actually kill him, and died as pathetically as he’d lived. Anti-climactic, but everyone was happy.

Wilbur declared Tommy, our protagonist, president.

Tommy declined the presidency, saying that he needed to search for his discs first. He declared Wilbur president of L’Manburg once more.

Wilbur declined the presidency and declared Tubbo president

Tubbo accepted and gave a lovely speech

And then it all goes to shit. "Surely not all of it?" Yeah. All of it.

Wilbur (yes. it was wilbur.) explodes L’Manburg, finally pressing the button to destroy his nation despite his dad trying to stop him.

His own father, Philza, kills him

Stabs the Wilbur

Everyone panicks

And that's when Techno decided it was Chaos Time.

He stands on the ashes of L'Manburg, and said that no government will be allowed to rise in the entire SMP. Tommy objects, and Techno gives this speech:

do you think you’re a hero, tommy?

the thing about this world tommy, is that good things don’t happen to heroes. let me tell you a story, tommy. a story about a man called theseus. his country—well his city-state technically—was in danger. and he sent himself forward into enemy lines. he slayed the minotaur and saved his city.

and you know what they did to him, tommy?

they exiled him. he died in disgrace, despised by his people. that’s what happens to heroes, tommy. the greeks knew the score. but if you want to be a hero, tommy. that’s fine.

do you want to be a hero tommy?

THEN DIE LIKE ONE.

And then he spawns two withers (one of which is named Subscribe To Technoblade) and all hell breaks loose.

Part Five: The Aftermath (aka Where Are They Now?)

Since then, Tubbo has been trying to rebuild L’Manburg. It’s a canal town now, and it looks lovely. He’s a good President.

Tommy isn’t the best Vice President, but once he stops banning people from the country he should be good.

Nikki has left the fox Wilbur gave her in Pogtopia.

Speaking of abandoned foxes, Fundy’s dealing with the death/betrayal of his dad, as well as not getting on that well with the others. He’s also engaged to Dream.

Yes, you read that right. Dream and Fundy are getting married. Fundy met their eldritch overlord on what was pretty much a blind date, and they just clicked.

Eret is adopting Fundy! She has no kingdom any more, but she’s recovered some honor and now has a son.

Philza is dealing with the fact that he killed his son, and may try to resurrect him.

Schlatt is still dead (but is he really gone?)

Quackity is....doing some worrisome things, getting vague tweeted at by Trump, ate Schlatt’s heart, and might be possessed by him??

Technoblade is still doing his own thing, I think

And Wilbur? Wilbur is an amnesiac ghost, blocking out the memories of when he was hurt or a bad person.

There’s way more to say on the subject of the Dream SMP, but this is the basics! Hope this helped!

#long post #dream smp #mcyt

[simping-on-the-daily]

Anyways I need to talk more about Morals and her relationships with people so

Both being creatures from the End, Ranboo and Morals has some connection between each other. However, with Morals frequently threatening to mind control Ranboo for leverage, their relationship is strained. Morals has confirmed that she doesn't know if she actually can, but she just needed a threat to hold over her enemies head, apologizing for what she did after the Doomsday War. Morals being controlled by the Egg has caused much more problems, so the two has a very neutral/negative opinion on each other.

Morals met Ghostbur while she was trying to get gunpowder to form more TNT. The two hit it off instantly, and Morals describes Ghostbur as 'so sweet and innocent he'll give me a tooth-ache'. They're rather causal friends, only talking when they meet up with each other. Despite her indifference to his alive counterpart, Morals wished Ghostbur good luck in his resurrections attempts when she resisted the Egg's control for a short time and came across him and the others.

Schlatt was a person Morals never really had an emotional connection to. She often found politics boring and never met up with him outside of what Dream told her about him. She was present during his death in the van and stated that they would find a way to make angst out of his first ghost words, 'flatty patty', they being the viewers, breaking the fourth wall. She wasn't present during his funeral. However, Morals confirms that she respected Schlatt from destroying L'Manburg inside out, though it's unknown if she holds these views after her redemption.

Even before Dream got imprisoned, Morals ended up getting on the bad end with Quackity. She was strongly against the Butcher Army and helped Dream rescue Techno before the piglin hybrid was executed. Morals isn't a fan of his lazy nature, and claims that he looks 'annoying'. When she managed to visit Dream before the Egg corruption and kept hearing Dream mutter something about Quackity, Morals quickly assumed that it was negative, judging from his bruises. Even while under the Egg's influence, Morals has discussed that when she finds out what Quackity did to Dream, she would end all of his canon lives, putting a very negative setting into their relationship.

The drama between her and Tommy is undoubtedly one of Morals worst relationships. Morals frequently sided against him during numerous wars, and her hatred increased when her pet pig, Ethics was murdered when Tommy flooded Sapnap's house for killing his cow. Morals sees the teen as obnoxious and selfish. The hatred first began when Tommy first joined and broke all the rules, resulting in George's death and the courthouse being blown up. The enderdragon hybrid frequently tried to make Tommy's life a living Hell, succeeding on numerous occassions. However, after the Doomsday War, Morals convinced that she was sorry for what she did and that her anger was unjustified and stupid. Giving Tommy space and not being in the same room as him so he can grieve, Morals truly feels sorry, but accepts the fact that 'she put a whole lotta trauma onto him'. When she joined the Eggpire, Morals hasn't discussed Tommy at all, leaving her eggified feelings anonymous for the moment.

#dream smp #dream smp ocs #mcyt #mcyt ocs #morals #mcyt morals #minecraft morals #c!ranboo #ranboo #c!ghostbur #ghostbur #c!schlatt #c!jschlatt #schlatt #jschlatt #c!quackity #quackity #c!tommy #tommyinnit

[ace-oreos]

Way of the Hunter Ch. 1

After MANY days of writer’s block, getting distracted by our favorite dorks, and listening to Watch What Happens from Newsies on repeat, @deltaturtle26 and I are super excited to share the first chapter of a fanfic that’s been a long time in the making! 

Side note: I should not be allowed to write drama yee anywhere in the document when I don’t know what to write, nor am I permitted to write jokes or phrases that are actually foreshadowing. I am also forbidden from writing “we’ll just beat him up and see where it goes” in our outline. 

We hope you enjoy! Fair warning, it is rather long but hey, plot reasons. I only wish you could see all our ridiculous side notes and comments. I apologize in advance for the formatting; I’ll play around with it for later chapters. 

Edit: I added the prologue here like I was supposed to several weeks ago. 

The past leaves scars on all of us.

Sometimes you can’t see them. Other times they’re right there in front of your face.

But they are there regardless.

Some are meant to be seen; they tell the galaxy that you lived and you were hurt, but you survived.

Others…

Well, there are others that should stay hidden.

“Why are you so stubborn, Sarge?” Tech asked, looking puzzled and mildly amused by Hunter’s continued struggles. Even Crosshair hid a smile at the sight. 

“‘M not stubborn,” Hunter insisted, gritting his teeth and trying vainly to wrench his arm out of Wrecker’s grip. “Just - trying - to win.”

“No chance,” Wrecker taunted.

Hunter was convinced that he was going to be minus one arm by the end of this, but it was a necessary sacrifice. Really. He hadn’t spent the last six years telling his squad that he was entirely capable of beating Wrecker just to give up now. 

Still, after five minutes with no progress, he was reconsidering his decision to challenge Wrecker in the first place. He strained to keep his brother from forcing his arm down; Wrecker, on the other hand, didn’t look inconvenienced in the slightest. Tech and Crosshair seemed to be losing interest, but Hunter was too far in. He would have bragging rights, at least.

“Y’know, I need this arm,” he grunted a moment later. “I know Wookies pull their enemies’ arms off, but can you leave mine where it’s supposed to be?”

Wrecker just grinned and raised his own arm. Hunter yelped, trying to find purchase in the grass, but he was still lifted bodily, legs working helplessly in the air. “Put me down!” 

“Do you give up?” 

“No!”

“Then no can do, Sarge,” Wrecker said, plainly enjoying himself. 

“How old are you?” Crosshair muttered, rolling his eyes. He clearly had no patience for his brothers’ antics. “We’re on a mission, for fierfek’s sake.” 

“We’re not completing an objective right now, though,” Tech reasoned as Hunter let out every curse he knew and some he invented on the spot. “Besides, it’s not hurting anything.”

“It’s hurting my arm --” 

“You brought this on yourself,” Crosshair informed him, unamused.

“Hey, pulling someone off the ground is cheating!” 

“Who cheats at arm wrestling?” 

“Wrecker does, apparently,” Tech observed.

“You never said there were rules,” Wrecker argued.

“Okay, so it’s an unspoken rule.”

“Common sense,” Tech put in helpfully. 

“Hunter, you’re the only one who actually invests any energy whatsoever into these things,” Crosshair said in exasperation. 

Hunter didn’t bother to respond. His arm was likely halfway out of its socket by now, and he was seriously thinking of a dislocated shoulder. Resigned to the merciless teasing he’d no doubt have to endure, he grumbled, “Fine. I give up.”

Wrecker crowed triumphantly and dumped him to the ground unceremoniously. Hunter spat out a mouthful of grass and glared at his squad. Crosshair, for all he’d feigned indifference, was smirking at the sergeant. Tech stifled a laugh. 

“If you say one word --” Hunter started warningly. 

“Don’t need to,” Crosshair said drily. “The evidence is right in front of us.” 

“Fifth time in a row, Sarge!” Wrecker declared, giving Hunter a friendly nudge that nearly knocked him off his feet again. “You’ve got a good streak going.”

Hunter made a face at him and turned to Tech, trying to salvage what was left of his dignity. “Have you taken a look at that city yet?” 

Tech managed to keep a straight face when he responded, “Just getting a sense of the layout now, Sarge. Looks like there’s a number of ways to get in with a small team without the Techno Union noticing. We won’t be able to get in too close with the Marauder, though.”

Hunter shrugged. “Shouldn’t be a problem. It’ll be easier without the ship anyways.”

“As long as we don’t blow our cover again,” Crosshair said pointedly. 

Wrecker scowled at the sniper. “That wasn’t my fault.”

“I never said which incident I was talking about…”

Hunter rolled his eyes. “On that note, I’m going to stretch my legs for a bit.” He fixed Tech with a stern look. “If they kill each other, you’ll catch it later.” 

Tech just grinned. “You got it, Sarge.” 

***

Tech decided to check on his brothers, and found Crosshair fiddling with some ammunition. Of course, he was curious, and stepped closer to get a better look.

“Whatcha got there, Crosshair?”

The sniper smiled and showed him an ammo clip. “Just something I picked up on our last shopping run.”

Tech stared at it for a bit, puzzled as to why his older brother seemed to make such a deal over extra ammo. Granted, he was the team’s sniper, so it really wasn’t any surprise that he enjoyed sniping or took good care of his weapon—one that had helped them survive and accomplish missions and other tasks on various occasions—but this particular thing was odd.

“You restocked your ammo supply?”

“These are no ordinary rounds, Tech. I believe these will help us tremendously in the future.”

Tech leaned forward, curiosity piqued and eager to learn more. “Really? How so? How are they different?”

Crosshair turned the clip around in his hand then tossed it to him. “They pack far more of a punch than most other ones. The next time we deal with tougher opponents, like supers or small vehicles, dealing with them will be a breeze.”

“Fascinating!” Tech exclaimed, examining the clip in his hand. “How much were they?”

The sniper looked away and remained silent.

“Crosshair,” Tech said slowly, “if I check our balance and find you’ve spent most of our credits -”

“I didn’t!”

Wrecker chuckled awkwardly. “Actually, I think I did.”

The short clone let out a squeak then hastily replaced his helmet in absolute irritation before handing the clip back to the sniper and walking away.

Hunter still hadn’t returned, but Tech wasn’t worried. It wouldn’t be the first time his brother needed space before the real madness broke loose. 

True to his word, Tech continued to keep an eye on Crosshair and Wrecker. There was no way of knowing what might happen when they were left to their own devices. The Techno Union was completely unaware of their presence, and Tech preferred to keep it that way. 

He sat down beside Wrecker, keen to look at the Techno Union’s latest movements. They still claimed neutrality, but the latest intel indicated a worrying streak of Separatist leanings. 

Wrecker took one look at Tech’s datapad and yawned pointedly. Without bothering to glance up, Tech said, “If you’re not interested, go check the perimeter.”

“Droids aren’t stealthy,” Wrecker grumbled, but he pushed himself to his feet. Before he took more than a few steps, however, Hunter reappeared from the trees. 

“Don’t bother,” he called. “It’s all quiet.” He gave Crosshair a friendly nudge with his elbow as he strode past and winked at Tech. “You can save those rounds for later, Cross.” 

Crosshair merely rolled his eyes with a huff. Tech hid a smile and returned his attention to Hunter. “We’re all set to infiltrate the city, Sarge.”

“Good,” the sergeant replied. He settled next to Wrecker. “Get some sleep. I want to take the city tomorrow.”

“I’ll take first watch,” Tech offered. 

After a few minutes, he recognized Crosshair’s light steps approaching. His brother sat beside him without a word. Wrecker joined them soon after.

Tech shook his head. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” 

Wrecker smiled sheepishly. Crosshair just shrugged and said, “Yeah, well - ”

He broke off at the insistent beeping of Tech’s comm. Puzzled - Hunter was dozing just a few feet away - Tech exchanged a look with Crosshair and activated it. 

 “Execute Order 66.”

Upon hearing those words, he suddenly felt… different. But a good different.

He blinked, then turned to face their sergeant, eyes narrowing. He knew what he had to do.

 “It will be done, my lord.”

 Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Someone’s comlink was chirping. 

Order 66. 

Hunter was clueless as to what that was. Why would they be given an order they didn’t know? Tech acknowledged it, though; perhaps he knew.

Shaking his head to clear it, Hunter approached his brother. “Hey, Tech, do you know what this order means?”

“Good soldiers follow orders.”

#way of the hunter #the bad batch #bad batch #clone force 99 #hunter #tech #crosshair #wrecker #we're sorry #but not really #heehee cliffhanger #the angst train is coming to town

[mindseyeinkarnate]

Portraits of a Serial Killer - “The Cell” turns 20

I've often reflected how the influence of Art is a key component missing from Modern Horror. The Xenomorph we all know and fear came from the painted nightmares of Swedish surrealist H.R. Giger, the Screamer is said to have influenced the Ghostface Killer mask.  For a further rundown of art's musings over the genre, I would highly recommend 2017's Tableaux Vivants for a look at 60 such portraits and the films they inspired.

In the summer of 2020, The Medium video game appears to correct that oversight with the recent trailer dropping, adapting Polish painter, Zdzislaw Beksinski's frightening paintings.  In the same season of the same year is when The Cell celebrates 20 years (8/17/2020).  This film appeared to feature as many artistic influences as possible into its near two hour runtime.

The sight of chains freaked me out upon watching my first Hellraiser movie, so the sexual perversion of their use in this film did little to alleviate such apprehension, especially as they pulled so tightly to suspend human flesh in the air. Despite a previous scene showing the villain having drowned his victim, this was the true introduction to his villainy - the former showed what he did, that latter why he did it.  Even re-watching this film so many years later, I had to look away from the screen, recoiling from such a grisly display.

Typically, in Horror or any film that assumes a particular aesthetic, it is color that makes the impression to set mood.  Instead, the use of white in this film, from the K9 to the bleached state of the victims is used to ghoulishly haunting effect.

I remember critics remarking that because of Vince Vaughn's comedic history they couldn't take him seriously in this role and relegated his involvement to stunt casting. I take the opposite stance since, for me, every role after this film simply serves as a reminder that he starred in The Cell.  I've always felt that comedy actors do well in dramas - see Robin Williams in "Good Will Hunting" - and I thought that Vaughn did a serviceable job in this film, never distracting from either tone or plot.

I was happy that they just dove into the mechanics behind entering one's mind as an accepted reality, that they didn't get bogged down in techno babble or exposition of the technology.  There is a time and place for the virtual journey into the cerebral frontier, such as The Matrix or a good adaptation of the Lawnmower Man, but for the Cell, I'm happy that they focused more on the story and not so much the science.  The suits do look like Twizzlers, but it was made by Eioka Ishioka (who passed away in 2012), the same costume designer as Vlad Tepes' suit from Bram Stoker's Dracula.  I do like that the two participators are suspended in the air while their minds are linked.  It's an eerie callback to the killer's suspension from chains for sexual release. Also, it does give the technology that space age feel as though they are in a weightless environment.

Since the 90's, special effects have been criticized as dominating films to the point Stephen King is quoted as remarking that "story supports effects instead of effects supporting story". Similarly, an argument can be made that at times The Cell becomes too indulgent with its usage of famous art that serve no plot function, e.g. the Horse Split, the Three Women of Odd Nerdrum's Dawn painting, Mother Theresa and her Hallmark card, etc.  As the director is quoted as saying "The thing about this film is it’s an opera, and there is no such thing as a subtle opera.”  I don't believe that the script was penned as an excuse to pack in as much gallery portraits as possible or is an hour and fifty minutes of a music video.  I just wish the director would've used each art piece he seeks influence from to develop the story or the character.  The imagery doesn't always portray the killer's psychology or the psychologist's therapeutic technique.  If he wasn't going to utilize subtlety, he should have implored restraint.  He later added "Anyway, I missed the whole plot, just been talking visual all along, ah, where are we?”

Once in the killer's mind, his depiction as the master of his domain is a hauntingly accurate depiction considering the previous scenes of suspension rings in the back of his body, which unwittingly foreshadowed to the audience his royal appearance to come.  Even the name, King Stargher, is a daunting title for a movie monster.  When rising and descending from his throne, the violet robes receding from the walls and tracing along the room is hypnotically unnerving.

As tiresome as the "we're still in the dreamworld" trope can become (The Matrix, DS9 Season 7 episode 23 "Extreme Measures"), this film not only flips it when the psychologist realizes that she's "already in", but does so in a cleverly visual way.

King Stargher

Horned Stargher

Court Jester/Vatican Clown  

Serpent Stargher

It is interesting to think that a single actor would assume many distinct monstrous characters.  Unlike a Freddy Kreuger or a Pennywise that turn into manifestations of their victims' fears, the figures that Stargher assumes are all avatars of his own warped psyche, his own inner turmoil.  Vincent D'Onofrio really does put in his all with this role.  He's soft spoken and understated when he needs to be and malicious and heartless when the scene demands it.  Along with the visuals of the film, D'Onofrio's performance is worth the price of admission.  It's a shame that his acting as well as the movie's stunning artistry are what have gone overlooked all these years.  Speaking of...

One invalid criticism that has been levied against the film is its attempts to persuade the audience to sympathize with the killer.  My intention with the following statement is neither to flaunt my Horror insight nor to divide the lines between fans within Horror and those without.  Having said that, even as an adolescent seeing this movie in theaters, I at no point felt remorse for the serial murderer and I chalk up this long-held misconception to a bad read on the film.

So off-base is this "critical analysis" that it can't even be regarded as a Jekyll & Hyde dynamic.  The villain is not split down the middle between binary good and evil, where both halves are at war over his soul, or the repressed impulses of his Dark Passenger are manifesting in a heartless butcher.  If there is any distinction, it is between who the antagonist was when a victim as a boy and what the man became as an adult victimizer.  If anything it is the good that is repressed, not the evil.  Furthermore, along with using the film's plot to force Alice down the rabbit hole of the Mad Hatter's mind, this film does address the nature of evil.  When referring to Stargher, even Jennifer Lopez's character remarks "The Dominant side is still this horrible thing".  The Vince Vaughn detective states "I believe a child can experience 100 times worse the abuse than what Gish (a different killer) went through, and still grow up to be somebody that would never, ever, ever hurt another living being."  Thus, these serve as acknowledgement that the abducted criminal is firmly in the driver's seat to the point of its reference as a "thing" and a condemnation of what the killer has become, respectively.

Along with exploring the psychology of the killer, the film does not qualify the villain's innocence, it questions it.

The critics probably missed that pesky detail that would've debunked their headline before they pressed a single word of their denunciation.

These same professional critics wouldn't give a second's hesitation towards throwing Horror under the bus and condemning Scary Movies for inspiring violence if it meant their jobs were only the line, yet they would balk at the notion that continued mental trauma and physical abuse can cause psychopathic behavior.

There are classics and icons worth praising for their plot and performances, respectively, and then there are some Scary Films that Horror Fans view with the understanding of their heavy material and without your typical fanfare because they're a hard watch.  I can see where people would be fans of Hannibal Lecter not because they or the film glamorizes cannibalism, but because of Anthony Hopkins' acting chops (excuse the pun).  Conversely, John Doe, the serial killer of Se7en, has and will likely never enjoy such admiration because of the cold purity of his calculated evil.  The 2 decade critique of The Cell's villain portrayal is a dark cloud that has unjustly hung over its head.

The motif of "the eyes of a killer" was something applauded in Rob Zombie's Halloween 2, yet ridiculed in The Cell 9 years prior?

This film's premise and the fact that it wasn't fully effectively executed makes it primed for a remake.  Hollywood needs to be issued a Cease and Desist order of such wholesale dependence on Remakes in general, let alone in the Horror genre.  When you consider that so many remakes can't outdo the original and even tarnish the films they attempt to emulate, why not fix the problems of a film that went wrong and take the credit when you get it right?

#TheCell #TheCellTurns20 #PortraitsOfASerialKiller

[mooncaps]

my crackpot theories on the latest Doctor Who developments

Obviously there will be spoilers here if you haven't seen 12x05 yet.

So, the essential element for me is this: Something that Jodie Whittaker's Doctor does in her future will cause Jo Martin's Doctor to happen in the distant past.

That's the big bullet point for me. As to the exact nature of that...well, that's a little more ambiguous. We've seen Missy use a Matrix Slice to upload and download dying minds. I've also heard at least one person bring up the concept of "Looms" which I had to look up because I still haven't explored the novels, audio dramas, or comics. Whether it's a Matrix thing or a Loom thing or some other thing, I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

So my idea here is that The Doctor (Jodie) is going to die and not regenerate. Then through some sciency-wiency techno-babble, her mind or essence or whatever is eventually transferred to a Matrix Slice or Loom on Gallifrey in the distant past. Jack mentioned that "The Alliance" sent something back through time. Maybe that something was The Doctor's mind. Maybe Jack didn't even know what it was; he only describes it as "this thing." So The Doctor is eventually re-loomed or donwloaded from the Matrix or reincarnated on ancient Gallifrey, as Jo Martin. (And it'd be really wild if Gallifreyan Clara, created by the Time Winds, gets involved somehow since she knows she has to save The Doctor, but I'm not gonna hold my breath.)

And maybe The Doctor (Jodie) or the Alliance or whoever finds a way to send the TARDIS back as well. Bury it on Gallifrey before the first Time Lords ever existed. Or smuggle it in small, like in the Series 8 episode "Flatline," just needing energy to restore it.

Then, maybe because the Alliance gets a message to her or something, Jo Martin's Doctor gets into trouble with the Time Lords. Because they wouldn't just send her aimlessly back in time; she'll have some kind of mission. Maybe she uncovers the same secret that The Master discovered about whatever the Timeless Child is. Because of this, she becomes a fugitive from Gallifrey.

Whenever it all is finally wrapped up and The Doctor (Jo) get disentangled from that causal nexus, the Alliance or someone tells The Doctor (Jo) about something The Doctor (Jodie) left on the TARDIS to restore her memories of all the lives she led before she died. From there the series follows Jo Martin's Doctor, who is essentially the next Doctor, even though she technically began on Gallifrey in ancient times.

That's my crackpot theory so far.

Alternatively, maybe she is the original Doctor and Hartnell is a re-loomed version of her. Maybe she eventually gets executed for knowing too much about the Timeless Child or something and then reborn as Hartnell. (The Master did tell her "We are not who we think, you or I.") However, I think they're more likely to do the former, so as not to diminish Hartnell being the actual First Doctor.

There are also conceivable theories in the realms of parallel universes, splintered timelines, and more straightforward cloning. However, those might diminish Jo Martin's prominence as the first black Doctor, and I assume the writers want that good press publicity, so those kinds of theories might be less likely.

It's hard to say what the writers might be thinking until they actually tell us, but I'm loving the ride. I'm loving that this show is making me want to come up with crackpot theories again. I think the last time that happened for me was in Series 7. I've missed this feeling.

#Doctor Who #my first thoughts on this

[ubourgeois]

Top 30 Films of 2018

I’m actually getting one of these out at a fairly reasonable time! I’m a champion.

Compared to last year, I would say 2018 had fewer films that I really loved, that shook me and immediately registered as important - but also, more films that have grown on me over time, that were clever and inventive in ways that convince me to look past their shortcomings (or reevaluate if they are shortcomings at all). Plenty of odd, perhaps imperfect movies made it far up the list, and I think I ended up privileging that weird streak more than usual this year. But hopefully that makes for interesting reading here.

I found making this list that a couple of the big arthousey hits of the year (Eighth Grade, Burning, The Rider, and others) ended up slipping into the basement of the top 50. Keep an eye out for a rejoinder post following this in a couple days where I hash out my thoughts on those. For now, top 30 after the jump:

30. Unsane dir. Steven Soderbergh

Remember when Tangerine came out and everyone was like, “wow I can’t believe this was shot on an iPhone” and it was a whole thing? Well, I can believe that Unsane was shot on an iPhone, and that’s really for the better. Ever the innovator, Soderbergh follows Sean Baker’s lead by taking full advantage of the logistical advantages and distinctive appearances of iPhone-shot footage, putting together a film that uses its hardware not as a flashy obstacle to be overcome but as a driver of its look and feel, proving at least for now that mobile-shot films are viable (though we’ll see how his next one turns out). The film itself is good too - Claire Foy gives a wonderfully prickly performance, and the claustrophobic visuals make for a great psychological thriller.

29. Cold War dir. Paweł Pawlikowski

Expanding on the aesthetic territory he explored with Ida, Pawlikowski brings another black & white, Polish-language period piece about identities split between different (religious, political) worlds. Cold War is the more complicated and perhaps less focused film, but also the more alluring one, with a luscious love story, incredible music (Łojojoj...), and great, showy performances from Joanna Kulig and Tomasz Kot. In other words, it’s luxurious, romantic Euro-arthouse fare. Probably best watched with a full glass of wine in hand.

28. Ready Player One dir. Steven Spielberg

A film that many accused of “pandering” to audiences for its many blink-and-you’ll-miss-it nods to 80s nostalgia and gaming culture, Ready Player One was on the contrary seemingly uninterested in anything of the sort. It managed to accomplish something more meaningful by packing the film so dense with nerd-bait that it becomes just texture and noise - Tracer popping up in the background of random scenes ends up being less of Overwatch reference and more of a piece of plausible set dressing in a VR social media hub. This contributed to RPO being not only a technically impressive but a visually overwhelming effects film, packaged around a seemingly knowing 80s blockbuster pastiche (the story, the character types, even the music cues were too old-fashioned to be on purpose). A film both smarter and easier to like than the discourse around it suggested.

27. Widows dir. Steve McQueen

I do really wish that McQueen would go back to making demanding, brutal films like Hunger, but if he simply has to become a commercial filmmaker I guess I don’t mind this. Surely the ensemble film of the year, with the entire cast firing on all cylinders - Daniel Kaluuya as the sadistic enforcer/campaign manager in particular impresses, though naturally Viola Davis, Elizabeth Debicki, Cynthia Erivo, and even Colin Farrell make for compelling characters in this twisty, nervy heist film. The action scenes are all impressively mounted (if a bit few and far between) and there are enough McQueen-esque florishes to keep things interesting in the interim (that long car scene!). Great moody popcorn stuff.

26. An Elephant Sitting Still dir. Hu Bo

Elephant has gotten a lot of press for two reasons: its nearly four-hour length and its director’s untimely death shortly after its completion. The length is important because it beats you into submission, forcing you to accept its rhythm and smothering you in tight focus on its main characters until you feel like it’s your own POV (I wasn’t really into it until, uh, the two hour mark, but then somehow I was hooked). Hu Bo’s death is important because knowing that, the sensation of being trapped, pressured, and disoriented by the Current State of China (ever the popular subject matter) feels all the more palpable and, maybe unfortunately, grants the film some extra layer of authority, or at least urgency. If I ever have the time or energy, I would love to revisit this film - I expect it will one day be seen as a landmark.

25. Make Me Up dir. Rachel Maclean

A bizarre little bit of sugary pop-feminist techno-dystopia, pulling off a sort of cinematic cousin to vaporwave by way of Eve Ensler. What unfolds is pretty insane, involving dance numbers, incomprehensible lectures on dodgy gender politics, and sets that look pulled out from a cheap children’s TV show. It’s definitely a marmite film - how well you connect with this will depend heavily on your tolerance for clearly-fake CG, well-trodden feminist talking points, and pastels - but for those with the appetite for this brand of political kitsch then this is just about the best version of itself imaginable. 

24. Liz and the Blue Bird dir. Naoko Yamada

Naoko Yamada out Naoko Yamada-s herself. A standalone spinoff of Hibike! Euphonium that focuses on members of the secondary cast, Liz makes good on the sensitive, subtly-executed love story that the show ultimately failed to produce (not quite Adolescence of Utena-tier course correction, but we’ll take it). This is a film propelled by the tiniest gestures - a hand tensing behind the back, a nervous flicker of the eye, a cheerful bounce in the step - in that way animation can provide that seems not incidental but hugely, blatantly filled with meaning. While A Silent Voice was a great breakthrough for Yamada as an “original” feature, it’s Liz that feels like the more mature film, and a promising indicator for what lies ahead.

23. Sew the Winter to My Skin dir. Jahmil X.T. Qubeka

Maybe the most surprising film of the year is this, an action-biopic about John Kepe, a South African Robin Hood figure, that almost entirely eschews spoken dialogue in favor of visual storytelling, physical acting, and clever audio design. But this is not some pretentious, austere arthouse film substituting gimmicks for actual character; Sew the Winter to My Skin is an engaging, fascinating, and unexpectedly accessible historical epic, prioritizing mythic bigness over simple recitation of fact. While it demands some patience at first (with no dialogue, it takes a bit for the film to properly introduce its cast), it quickly shows itself to be an inventive, exciting, and occasionally funny adventure that proves Qubeka as a truly exciting voice in South African cinema.

22. Mom and Dad dir. Brian Taylor

Forget Mandy, THIS is the crazy Nic Cage movie of the year. A slick, rapid-fire horror comedy that feels almost like a music video at points, Mom and Dad has what’s surely Cage’s best unhinged performance in years as well as a great, more restrained turn by Selma Blair. The violence is ludicrous, the premise is nutty, and the sense of humor is utterly sick - that the film manages to squeeze out a surprisingly coherent commentary on suburban family life on top of this is a minor miracle (a scene where Cage destroys a pool table proves strangely thoughtful). For all the broadly acclaimed “serious” horror films in recent years, like this year’s kind of boring Hereditary, groan-filled A Quiet Place, and mostly incoherent Suspiria, I more appreciate this breed of deranged, funny, and tightly focused effort. It doesn’t need to be that deep.

21. Good Manners dir. Marco Dutra, Juliana Rojas

I’m going to mark this write-up with a **spoiler warning**, as I think it’s basically impossible to talk about this film without giving the game away. Good Manners has one of the best genre switcheroos in recent years, starting off as a proper Brazilian class drama (think Kleber Mendonça Filho) with a lesbian twist before explosively transforming into a horror movie that reveals a hidden monster-coming-of-age story that’s nearly unrecognizable as the same film from an hour before. As delightful as this bit of narrative sleight of hand is, it can’t justify a good film alone, which is where the great lead performance by Isabél Zuaa and the mesermizing, inventive matte paintings of the São Paulo skyline come into play, making this fantastical, genre-bending film a true original of the year.

20. The Miseducation of Cameron Post dir. Desiree Akhavan

There’s a tendency in the queer teen film genre to sometimes drift towards miserablist portrayals of growing up; to emphasize the hardship, nonunderstanding, and isolation to the expense of other experiences. Cameron Post manages to avoid this path even as it explores the dreadful premise of life in a conversion camp by balancing the solidarity, humor, and defiant joy hidden along the edges of the camp experience with the cruel, dehumanizing nature of the place. The film works, then, not only as a statement against conversion therapy and the real harm it does to all participants, but also as a lively, triumphant teen movie that feels more powerful than the lazy, doom-and-gloom approach.

19. Minding the Gap dir. Bing Liu

Few films capture the particular small city Midwest atmosphere quite like this one, a very raw documentary that feels very much like the first feature it is - but in a good way. Cut together from years of Liu’s amateur footage as well as new material of its subjects (the director and two of his old friends), a documentary that at first seems to be about the local skateboarding culture stretches out to many other topics: domestic violence, race relations, middle-American economic anxiety. The film, perhaps because of its closeness to the director and his relative inexperience, manages to take on a quick-moving scattershot approach, weaving stream-of-consciousness from one topic to the next, while still giving each the time and weight it deserves. 

18. The Green Fog dir. Evan Johnson, Galen Johnson, Guy Maddin

A hard film to sum up, though at its heart not a terribly complicated one. Ostensibly a very loose reconstruction of Vertigo using clips from other material shot in San Francisco, from The Conversation to San Andreas to Murder, She Wrote, this new, uh, thing from Maddin and the Johnsons is a short, sweet, and really quite funny collage less interested in slavishly reenacting its inspiration than making funny jokes with movie clips. Some highlights include Rock Hudson carefully watching an *NSYNC music video on a tiny screen, a long sequence admiring Chuck Norris’ face that doesn’t seem to match any particular part of Vertigo, and a number of scenes of dialogue with all the speech cut out, leaving only awkward pauses and mouth noises. It’s high art!

17. Sorry to Bother You dir. Boots Riley

Boots Riley’s transition from long-standing underrated rapper to breakout auteur has been wild to witness. Sorry to Bother You is certainly one of 2018′s most original and distinctive films (what other film is it like, exactly?), and any complaints about unsubtle politics or overpacked narrative can be easily counterbalanced with the film’s sheer verve and oddball energy. Like Widows, it’s another of the great ensemble pieces of the year - Lakeith Stanfield and Tess Thompson are great as usual, and of the supporting cast Armie Hammer emerges as the standout with an incredibly funny halfway-villainous turn, plus a great bit of voice casting with David Cross. Leading candidate for this year’s Film of the Moment.

16. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse dir. Robert Persichetti Jr., Peter Ramsey, Rodney Rothman

The problem with comic book movies a lot of the time is that they’re somehow too embarrassed to own their source material. Into the Spider-Verse succeeds because it emphatically embraces its roots, not only visually (the cel shading, impact lines, and even text boxes that make up the film’s look) but also narratively, by adopting the multiverse concept in earnest and milking it for comedic and dramatic effect. It’s an incredibly innovative (not to mention gorgeous) animated film that not only raises the standard but expands the scope of superhero films, giving new hope to a genre that has been stuck spinning its wheels for years. Plus, it has probably the only post-credits scene actually worth the effort, which is a very special sort of victory.

15. Museo dir. Alonso Ruizpalacios

A playful, thoughtful heist film that gets the actual heist out of the way as soon as possible. Two suburban twenty-somethings pull off a daring robbery of Mayan artifacts from the National Museum of Anthropology in Mexico City, then set off on an ill-fated roadtrip to fence the goods. There’s a certain magic to this film, in its approach that is at once totally reverent and mythologizing but also eager to take the piss out of everything (the recurring motif of Revueltas’ The Night of the Mayas suite does both), and in how it turns this story into something of a love letter to the history and geography of Mexico. Very mature, well-balanced filmmaking in Ruizpalacios’ second feature.

14. BlacKkKlansman dir. Spike Lee

The best Spike Lee joint in a long, long time. It taps into the freewheeling, confrontational energy of his best work, but almost as a career victory lap as he makes a game out of outfoxing Klan members. There’s plenty of humor and tension here, with a great, dry leading duo in John David Washington and Adam Driver, and a funny turn from Topher Grace (!) as David Duke. Even if it does play it a bit safe with an easy target and wraps up a bit too easily (a quick flash-forward to Charlottesville as a postscript notwithstanding), it should be fine, I think, for a film to indulge in the simple pleasure of overcoming obvious villains in a glorious fashion. For all the recent films that give nuanced and serious takes on racism in America, one ought to be about the joy of blowing up the KKK.

13. Mirai dir. Mamoru Hosoda

Since he’s started making original features, Hosoda has been taken with relatively high-concept storylines, from his “debut” The Girl Who Leapt Through Time to Wolf Children, but Mirai is certainly his most ambitious yet. Nearly every choice about the film is a bit weird: from the unusual, compact layout of Kun’s home to Kun’s very believable, nearly alienating (to an older audience) childish behavior to the simply bizarre logistics and metaphysics of Kun’s fantastic adventures. The time- and space-travel antics Kun and Mirai get up to never seem entirely literal or entirely imagined, somewhere between childish fable and psychological sci-fi, a mixture that culminates in a surprisingly existential climax for an unabashed children’s film. After the quite safe The Boy and the Beast, it’s exciting to see Hosoda branch out into such a complicated and strange project, certainly the most daring animated feature of the year.

12. Support the Girls dir. Andrew Bujalski

A bubbly, sensitive, and lightly anarchic workplace comedy in that most essential of American institutions: the Hooters-flavored sports bar off the highway. Bujalski continues to prove himself an observant and funny writer, putting together a fascinating ensemble of characters brought to life by a perfectly-cast ensemble (Regina Hall is flawless as advertised, and Haley Lu Richardson brings us one of the most adorable characters in cinema). I don’t think I’ve seen a more charming film about workers’ solidarity and the lively communities that find their niche in liminal spaces. 

11. First Reformed dir. Paul Schrader

Edgy priests are in a certain way low-hanging fruit; the tension is automatic, the contradiction inherently compelling. It’s a lazy symbol that can be milked for cheap profundity when employed, if you will, in bad faith. That’s why it’s so important that First Reformed, for all of its alcoholic, violent, libidinous angst packed into Ethan Hawke’s (masterfully interpreted) character, is also a great, genuine film about faith besides. It’s a Revelations film if I’ve ever seen one, about facing down the apocalypse with no way of understanding God’s plan, about living on the precipice of a collapse of belief, about accepting mystery. It’s the only film I saw this year that communicated actual dread, but even then still, somehow, bizarrely hopeful. 

10. Birds of Passage dir. Cristina Gallego, Ciro Guerra

Ciro Guerra (now with partner Cristina Gallego co-directing) follows up the excellent Embrace of the Serpent with another powerful portrait of an indigenous community that, under the pressure of colonial influence, gradually devours itself. In the new film, however, this takes the form of a traditional gangster film, from the humble beginnings and runaway success to the explosions of violence and crumbling of an empire. Birds of Passage shows the origins of the Colombian drug trade with the native Wayuu people (a counterpoint, Gallego explains, to the much-celebrated Pablo Escobar narrative), and in doing so still finds room to organically and respectfully depict the traditions of the Wayuu, as well as showcase their beautiful language, which makes up much of the film’s dialogue. Best film in the genre since at least Carlos. 

09. The Favourite dir. Yorgos Lanthimos

Though I really admire Dogtooth, I’ve found myself increasingly disappointed in Lanthimos’ output since that film. Alps was fine but clearly minor; The Lobster started strong but fizzled out; Killing of a Sacred Deer was ultimately too self-consciously bizarre. With The Favourite, we’re finally back in exciting, unsettlingly weird territory, Yorgos having found that his very mannered style of English dialogue works superbly in a costume drama context. He also gets great, uncharacteristically emotive performances (compared to, say, the last two Colin Farrell outings) out of his central trio of Olivia Colman, Rachel Weisz, and Emma Stone, with especially great work coming from Stone, who I think has discovered that all of her best roles take full advantage of the fact that she looks like a cartoon character. It’s wonderfully perverse, incredibly funny stuff, with one of the great, inexplicable endings of the year - fair to call it a Buñuel revival.

08. Bisbee ‘17 dir. Robert Greene

A documentary that tackles a shocking forgotten chapter in American labor history - a group of strikers deported from their mining town and left for dead in the desert - as well as the potential of historical reenactment to act as communal therapy. Greene moves a bit sideways from his usual performance-centric subject matter to show a different kind of performance meant not to affect the audience but the performers themselves, breaking through decades of near-silence on Bisbee’s tumultuous small town history. It’s also a remarkably multi-faceted film; though it would certainly be easy to side fully with the strikers, Greene makes sure to document the perspectives of current Bisbee citizens who sympathize with or even celebrate the decision to deport, complicating the emotions and politics of the reenactment in genuinely interesting ways. A powerful, important documentary.

07. Asako I & II dir. Ryusuke Hamaguchi

Unwieldy and annoying English title aside (especially considering all the possible translations of Netemo Sametemo), Asako seems on the surface like nothing more than a cheap TV romance. It hits many of the same beats and adopts much of the visual style associated with this vein of visual media, particularly in the music video-esque, almost-supernatural meet-cute that opens the film. But hidden beneath these affectations is a shockingly cold un-romance, a story with an inevitable bad end that you’re tricked into thinking might not come to pass. By employing so many stylistic and even verbal cliches, Hamaguchi reveals how these internalized these storytelling devices are, and how they not only can’t prepare us for the complications of actual relationships, but even shift our expectations away from reality. It’s an absolute gut-punch of a film, covered in a seductively sweet carapace. 

06. Sweet Country dir. Warwick Thornton

In a fairly large shift from his previous Samson and Delilah, Thornton has put together one of the best and most unusual Westerns in recent years. Featuring great, earthy performances from its nonprofessional cast (plus a bit of Sam Neill and Bryan Brown for good measure) and a weird, almost Malicky flash-forward structure, the film explores a not-widely-depicted history of exploitation of indigenous Australians. It’s a sad film, showing a fairly exciting lead-up to a somewhat deflating moment of unjust violence - but of course, many of the best Westerns aren’t about good triumphing, either. It’s the film on this list that most grew on me over the course of the year, having not impressed me at first but then blowing me away on a second viewing. 

05. Leave No Trace dir. Debra Granik

For all the buzz surrounding Winter’s Bone - a film that still holds up after so many years - it’s a bit surprising that it took Granik eight years to put out a follow-up, but I guess it’s worth the wait. Unlike Bone, Leave No Trace is a kind, gentle film, leaving behind the edgy Ozarkian drama of its predecessor for a similar but more forgiving setting of woodland communities in the Pacific Northwest. It initially seduces you with Ben Foster’s outdoorsy survivalist lifestyle, cut off by seemingly uncaring state officials, but gradually revealing, through the second thoughts of his daughter (Thomasin McKenzie, in a shall we say Lawrencian turn), the downsides and flawed motivations for their lifestyle choice. It’s a quiet and thoughtful film, melancholy and optimistic in equal measure. Makes one hope Granik can get another project off the ground sooner. 

04. Roma dir. Alfonso Cuarón

I mean, what else can we say about Roma? It’s about as good as claimed, beautifully shot, framed, written, acted, whatever. It’s at its best, sort of ironically, when Cuarón breaks up the quiet personal drama for some of his characteristic action-y set pieces (a Children of Men-esque protest sequence and the climax on the beach are particularly memorable), but he also shows his talent in handling relatively uneventful family scenes, using the layout of the house to facilitate some surprisingly interesting camera movements. I’m happy that Cuarón, who could easily transition into a more boring prestige Hollywood filmmaker if he so chose, is using his industry clout to pull together neat little films like this. 

03. The Old Man & the Gun dir. David Lowery

What a completely pleasant film. A film that walks a dangerous tightrope - one of nostalgia, roguish charm, and incessant aw-shucks optimism - that can easily fall into twee, navel-gazing hell, but that miraculously pulls it off, resulting in a genuinely spirit-lifting character study of an almost folkloric figure. Robert Redford’s good in this, but of course he is - that’s the whole point. Perhaps more appropriate to say that this film is good for Robert Redford, that it rises to the occasion of celebrating his career in full and pulls it off without appearing trite or disposable. As good a (reportedly) final outing as anyone could ask for.

02. I Do Not Care If We Go Down in History as Barbarians dir. Radu Jude

A nearly three-hour, densely conversational, nakedly didactic examination of the historical effects and contemporary sources of fascism and ethnic nationalism that somehow flies right by. Radu Jude, a relative latecomer to Romanian cinema’s rise to international prominence, makes a strong argument for being his country’s best and most important filmmaker, taking on complicated, controversial, and infrequently discussed subject matter about Romania’s troubled past. If you can get past Barbarians’ sort of user-unfriendly exterior (Iona Iacob opens the film by introducing herself and explaining her character, which tells you the sort of thing you’re getting into), it should prove to be a remarkably stimulating and even fiendishly funny ride. 

01. Shoplifters dir. Hirokazu Koreeda

If you’ve spent the ten years since Still Walking wondering what exactly Koreeda is trying to do anymore, then this is your answer. He’s spent most of the last decade pumping out the same nonconventional family drama over and over again (everything from I Wish to After the Storm, at least) so he could hone his skills like a weapon and create the perfect, ultimate version. With a pitch-perfect cast (Koreeda regulars Lily Franky and Kirin Kiki are the standouts, but Sakura Ando, Mayu Matsuoka, and the two child actors more than hold their own), and probably the perfect expression of the chosen family, spots and all, that has consumed much of Koreeda’s career, Shoplifters is one of its director’s career-best films, showcasing all of his talent for depicting delicate, intimate moments and bringing smart, complex ideas to seemingly straightforward premises. The most exciting Palme d’Or winner in years and easily the best film of 2018.

#film #best of 2018 #shoplifters #roma #the old man and the gun #leave no trace #i do not care if we go down in history as barbarians #birds of passage #the favourite #sweet country #bisbee 17 #asako i & ii #support the girls #mirai #first reformed #museo #blackkklansman #the green fog #sorry to bother you #spiderman into the spiderverse #minding the gap #the miseducation of cameron post #liz and the blue bird #make me up #sew the winter to my skin #good manners #mom and dad #an elephant sitting still #ready player one #unsane

[buttonholedlife]

Bach encounters techno: DJ Marc Romboy offers the Baroque author a digital improve|DW|11.11.2019

Popular digital popular music comes in all shapes, measurements as well as kinds-- from background rhythms developed for loosening up on an idle Sunday mid-day to techno club sounds hammering quicker than a ravenous cheetah's heart in the evening. However symphonic music rarely acquires a reference in this pumping world of synthesizers, soundcards as well as sampling.

This is actually also less the scenario when it involves the earlier titans of music like Johann Sebastian Pachelbel, that wrote his Baroque masterworks three centuries back.

It is maybe the algebraic preciseness with which Bach comprised his works that would certainly permit his songs to be provided in a present day setup-- for example on a dancing floor over a heaving bass drum tried out through computer programs.

Along with such potential for a "techno Pachelbel," an individual was in time tied to speak to symphonic music along with a 21st century electronica frame of mind. Which a person is German music manufacturer and DJ Marc Romboy.

Find out more: 1989: How reunified Berlin birthed a club society reformation

Romboy has actually been performing in cocktail lounge worldwide for 3 decades

The congregation of techno

Romboy is a realized attribute on the worldwide electronic songs circuit. Having actually devoted practically 30 years in the songs service, Romboy has found it all of, heard everything and is actually constantly up for a challenge.

His interpretation of Pachelbel is left with a feeling of reverence and shock in an phase manufacturing that additionally consists of visuals. Titled "Restoring Pachelbel," the series was actually very most recently executed not in a stylish Berlin club yet at the Fragrance Philharmonic opera house on Nov 9 on a sparsely populated stage that generates an atmosphere of gravity as well as proximity just like the Gothic basilicas of Pachelbel's opportunity. The vivid phase illumination highlights the warmth as well as drama of the close popular music like radiations of sun light piercing through stained-glass church home windows.

Violinist Miki Kekenj leads a tiny set of musicians to Romboy's rhythms and beats busting via his DJ devices as Romboy lives approximately his strong insurance claim that "Pachelbel is actually techno."

The veteran DJ states he wishes his take on the Baroque big-time will possess pleased the composer who died in 1750: "I directly believe that Pachelbel would be actually very blown away by our works due to the fact that when you check out his outdated arrangements, you discover exactly how open-minded he was actually when it concerns his personal music."

Miki Kekenj mentions he values the volume of information that goes right into electronic dance popular music

J.S. Pachelbel on the turn table

In the lack of an opportunity maker, we'll certainly never know what Johann Sebastian Bach would actually have actually made from this unfamiliar analysis of his rich physical body of work. The eager target market left behind no uncertainty that this mash-up of classical songs as well as modern-day beats was a long outstanding marriage of audios.

What would Bach say about this bold strategy to his popular music?

While additional performers have actually frequently attempted their hand at sampling motifs of symphonic music to residence as well as techno beats, few have been actually as daring as Romboy in highlighting the music of the old professionals therefore directly that playing this popular music in an auditorium environment experiences natural-- also needed.

It is actually music that could be danced to on a dance floor, whether or even not one performs it. Fascinatingly, Romboy long rejected to know exactly how to participate in guitars or even go through songs.

"I refused to visit music university. I informed my mama I failed to desire to learn the flute. So my way right into songs was actually through accumulating histories. And also with collecting files, I became a DJ. As well as via ending up being a DJ, I got curious about knowing timeless popular music much more," mentions Romboy. "Classical popular music is a real jewel container. I will possibly need to have three lifetimes to survive that carton."

Baroque, Impressionism as well as past

Before analyzing Pachelbel, Romboy as well as Kekenj functioned with each other on making a techno framework to the job of another author of severe music: Claude Debussy. Having actually checked out Baroque and also Impressionist music, the next action the duo wishes to take all together is actually to interpret Igor Stravinsky.

Violinist Kekenj stresses that also the complicated rhythms of Stravinsky can easily lend themselves to a techno-style reinterpretation:

"What our experts do is: our experts take little items of music and prepare them to a beat, to a rhythm," states Kekenj "Or we may do the opposite. Our experts may take a tune and also actually take it apart and also make it sound unusual. I believe there's a whole lot our experts can possibly do through this. Permit's cook something up!"

Romboy is every bit as excited to offer Stravinsky a techno therapy. Each their eyes light up when Romboy states Stravinsky's Firebird Suite. Watch this area!

Along with Bach and also Debussy, Romboy and Kekenj would like to next handle Igor Stravinsky

Worldwide in 180 BPM

When he isn't occupied remixing and also rearranging classical songs, Marc Romboy still likes touring the planet as a club DJ. The evening just before the efficiency at the Fragrance Philharmonic venue, Romboy dipped into Berlin's famed Watergate bar. Coming From Argentina to Lebanon to South Africa, he has actually observed the entire world via the lense of electronic popular music.

No matter where he goes, Romboy claims the groups strike him as constantly looking for the exact same things: "These people, they all desire the exact same traits in life, you recognize. They want calmness, they desire a household and also in some cases they just desire to dance in a club. It's the very same almost everywhere on earth. That is actually terrific."

Not simply performs he take a trip the planet, yet therefore performs his popular music. Romboy has actually produced tracks that have entered into the songs charts around the globe, specifically in the 1990s and early 2000s.

The widely known DJ wishes that his cooperation with Miki Kekenj are going to likewise get to folks around the globe-- as well as only out the dance flooring.

The planet of Bach in pictures

At the Thomaskirchhof in Leipzig

For a long times nobody understood for particular where Johann Sebastian Bach's conceivable continueses to be were buried. After they were actually lastly disinhumed as well as verified around the turn of the 20th century, the "New Bach Memorial" was erected in 1908 only actions far from the edge entry to St. Thomas Church, where Bach had been the songs director. The bust was actually designed after the shapes and size of the author's skull.

The planet of Bach in graphics

Computer-aided guesstimate

As a result of a lack of authentic historic sources, our team possess simply a harsh concept of what Pachelbel resembled. This picture of his achievable physiognomy, generated for an exhibition at the Bach Property in Eisenach in 2008, was based on a plaster mold of the composer's skull and also brand new forensic approaches. He appears friendlier listed here than in the extra typical, intense, bewigged pictures.

The world of Pachelbel in photos

Birthed in Eisenach

The title "Pachelbel" was once synonymous for "entertainer" in the central German area of Thuringia. There were actually Pachelbels in cities as well as communities just about everywhere, coming from Erfurt to Weimar, Ohrdruf to Eisenach, where Johann Sebastian was birthed in 1685 in the above home. He eventually specified 53 performer loved one, a lot of them in the service of a judge or even a church. At loved ones social events, they-- what else?-- made songs.

The arena of Bach in photos

Angry young male?

Having actually dropped both moms and dads through grow older ten, Johann Sebastian visited reside in Ohrdruf along with his 14-year-older bro as well as acquired musical tutoring. Little is recognized about his young people apart from that he bought every dispute of popular music he can acquire his hands on. At one aspect he illustrated a fellow entertainer's playing in uncomplimentary phrases. The quarrel escalated, but a battle was prevented at eleventh hour.

The world of Bach in pictures

St. Mary's Congregation in Lübeck

Hearing your favored popular music today is very easy: simply don your earphones. To listen to the music he wanted, the younger Bach traveled over 200 miles (321 kilometres)-- by feet. Location: Lübeck, on Germany's north shoreline. It was actually there the fantastic organist Dieterich Buxtehude held his famous "Abendmusiken" (night concerts) in St. Mary's Congregation. Buxtehude left behind rich results on Pachelbel's body organ playing and creating.

The world of Bach in graphics

Courthouse orchestra supervisor in Weimar

In 1708, at age 23, Bach landed a distinguished job in Weimar (above). He composed his 1st cantata work of arts as well as the majority of his body organ functions in the complying with 9 years there. In 1717 he decided to move on to also greener areas, but Weimar failed to would like to permit him go. In those days, quitting a task could possibly indicate jail time for insubordination, and Bach did in fact devote a month responsible for bars.

The world of Bach in images

Happiest years in Köthen

In the initial aspect of his period as band supervisor at the court in Köthen (over), Pachelbel had actually a superbly geared up orchestra at his fingertip and, in Royal prince Leopold, a music-loving client as well as friend. A number of his instrumental works were actually written there certainly. Yet when Leopold took a better half who was less thinking about popular music, Bach's working health conditions suffered, therefore he began searching for a different project.

The planet of Bach in images

St. Thomas Institution

Today Leipzig boasts of Pachelbel, however this was actually much less thus during his life-time. He was just 3rd selection to become cantor of the prominent Street Thomas Church and also University (over). His excruciating job programs featured creating, rehearsing and conducting a brand new cantata week after week. Pachelbel eventually located themself up in arms along with congregation and urban area experts, leading him to get work in other places-- unsuccessfully.

The globe of Bach in graphics

The household that participates in all together, stays with each other

20 little ones issued forth coming from Pachelbel's two relationships. Nine survived him, as well as four of his kids came to be musicians of renown. Johann Sebastian Pachelbel did everything he can to hand down the music family custom, as this photo most likely representing him at the keyboard grabs, however it ended with his boys. The creation to succeed produced no artists of state.

The world of Pachelbel in pictures

The noise of money

Along with all those hungry mouths to feed, Bach grumbled about the higher expense of residing in Leipzig. He even dryly noted that in one year, the urban area's healthy and balanced sky meant far fewer deaths, a lot less funeral services and a regrettable loss of revenue by means of a resultant decline in costs for a musician's services.

The planet of Bach in graphics

Zimmermann's Coffee Property

Restive schoolchildren, quarreling along with authorizations, daunting activities as well as little respect: The lifestyle of a cantor at St. Thomas wasn't easy. For a modification of speed, Pachelbel would certainly go to the nearby coffee home, Coffee shop Zimmermann (above), as well as make music with pals as well as students in Leipzig's Collegium Musicum music society.

The globe of Pachelbel in pictures

The portrait by Haussmann

Only one authentic picture of Johann Sebastian Pachelbel exists: the paint by Elias Gottlob Haussmann from the year 1748. For over 60 years it awaited the sitting room of the musicologist, chronicler and crafts client William Scheide in Princeton, New Jersey, in the US. Scheide left the valuable things to the Pachelbel Archive in Leipzig, and also it was gone back to the area by his widow Judith in 2015 (over).

The world of Pachelbel in photos

Soli Deo Gloria

Bach authorized much of his compositions with the initials "S.D.G." (Soli Deo Gloria-- To the splendor of God alone). This affirmation is found even on a variety of his works of nonreligious music as well as suggest a greatly really felt, individual religiousism. Also in his daily arrangements, Bach always tried for perfection. That by itself might be taken as an articulation of his religion.

The planet of Pachelbel in graphics

Can you Bach?

On Johann Sebastian Bach's 334th special day, Google.com welcomed users through this doodle, welcoming them to participate in an interactive workout as well as make up a short melody. After cross-comparing manies arrangements through Pachelbel, the software then decorated that melody by including a multivoiced accompaniment in vogue of the author. It appears uncertain that the outcomes were as innovative as the initial, though.

Author: Rick Fulker

This content was originally published here.

[eichy815]

‘Big Brother’ Is Being Watched By Us! – Part 2

CONTINUED FROM PART 1

Season 2 (where the game’s format itself was retooled and reimagined) featured the sassy Monica Bailey, a Brooklyn candy store manager who tragically lost her cousin in the 9/11 attacks (which took place during the tail-end of Season 2).  Her best friend in the house, Krista Stegall, was a charming country girl (although housemate Kent Blackwelder constantly made references to Stegall’s alleged “Nyquil addiction”) – she and Bailey were jointly targeted in Week 6 as a “Power of Two.”  Bailey ended up coming in third place, and really should have been selected by producers for re-entry into the house during Big Brother All-Stars (she would have been far more entertaining than the reincarnated “Chilltown” duo).

Speaking of Chilltown, though, I have to give mad props to Will Kirby (aka “Evil Dr. Will”), universally regarded as the best Big Brother winner to ever play the game. Despite being put up on the block for eviction every week, Kirby managed to repeatedly squirm out of danger using a combination of psychological mind games and bouncy charm.  Everyone kept underestimating “Evil Dr. Will” as a jury “non-threat” – and he went all the way to the end with Nicole Nilson Schaffrich, ultimately defeating her in a 5-2 vote.

Nilson Schaffrich, who (along with Hill) was a sworn enemy of Kirby and “Chilltown,” also became a favorite of mine.  Initially, she came on really strong to her housemates as she attempted to fit in as this zany, spontaneous, chatterbox of a “fun girl.” But after the game’s first-ever HoH, Malin, nominated her for eviction in Week 1, Nilson Schaffrich morphed into a depressing, negative, confrontational, bitchy cloud of gloom-and-doom (she also had OCD when it came to cleaning, and deeply missed her husband, Jeff).  Will and Nicole developed a classic love/hate relationship – where Nicole would constantly threaten and berate Dr. Will, while he simply laughed it off and continued playing the role of “class clown.” 

I could relate to Nicole – which is why I think I enjoyed her, even though she was a total darkened contrast to Monica, Krista, and Dr. Will in terms of personality.  The epitome of Will and Nicole’s rivalry was when, during a competition, the producers asked houseguests to craft little puppet-style dolls in their own likenesses; Nicole refused to do it, and so Will energetically volunteered to create Nicole’s doll for her – he proceeded to draw/paint a skimpy bikini onto the doll’s fabric, and then mocked Nicole in the Diary Roll while making the Nicole-doll “talk.”

Despite the bad casting of Season 3, I did enjoy another unlikely alliance formed:  that of Jason Guy, a born-again Christian videographer in his mid-twenties, and Danielle Reyes, a mouthy and brassy media buyer (and mom to two daughters).  Their alliance went largely unnoticed by other houseguests (except for the season’s eventual winner, Lisa Donahue).  Although I’m usually not a fan of born-again Christians, Jason was just an all-around nice guy and good person; meanwhile, Danielle made me laugh and kept me entertained with her colorful, verbose, and cocky Diary Room confessionals.  Once that season’s evicted houseguests went home and watched Danielle��s sessions in the Diary Room, they viewed her as entitled and pompous...which was largely why she lost the jury vote to Lisa.  This was ultimately why, beginning with Season 4, Big Brother producers shrunk the size of the jury while keeping jury members sequestered in a plush Jury House (so they wouldn’t be swayed by what was said in the finalists’ Diary Room confessionals).  

Season 4 had David Lane, a former Army ranger who was evicted early in the game (Week 3) but was a likable dude very much in the mold of Jason Guy. That season’s winner, Jun Song, shepherded the “floater” strategy (alongside the even-more-reviled Alison Irwin, with whom she went to the Final Two) while having the house wrapped around her fingertips as she played the simultaneous roles of “house chef,” “chic chubby girl,” and “firebrand comic relief.”  Song even earned the vote of her ex-boyfriend, Jee Choe, on that season’s jury.

Pilates instructor Erika Landin, who would later return for Big Brother: All-Stars (where she placed second to Malin, after entering an ill-conceived “showmance” with him) was competitive-yet-boring, but I enjoyed her if only for her gaudy pink hat that she was forced to destroy during a wardrobe-burning competition.  Irwin’s ex-boyfriend, Justin Giovinco, was the leader of the Three Stooges Alliance (consisting of him, Jee, and Erika’s ex-boyfriend, Robert Roman).  Giovinco had the most charisma and best leadership skills of the “Three Stooges” (which is probably why the rest of the house targeted him before Jee and Robert)...plus he looked great with his clothes off!

The standout of Big Brother 5, by far, was Nakomis Dedmon, a Goth-like Texas hostess whose chill-but-assertive gameplay got her all the way to the Final Four.  Nakomis helped to conceive and execute the first “backdooring” strategy (evicting someone by NOT initially putting them on the block, and waiting to nominate them until after the Power of Veto has been used).  Her in-house reunion (which had been secretly orchestrated by the producers) with long-lost brother Michael Ellis (aka Cowboy) was rather poignant...even though they ended up at odds with each other, and ultimately, estranged.  When she returned for Big Brother: All-Stars, Dedmon was the second houseguest evicted due to her reputation from Season 5 as a strategic threat.

I also enjoyed Will Wikle, a gay R.N. who was a part of the Pinky Swear Alliance put together by Nakomis.  His strategy wasn’t that great, but Wikle was carefree, outgoing, and had a fantastic body.  Drew Daniel, the winner of that season, was both sexy and humble...and, really, the only redeeming member of the Four Horsemen Alliance.  Sadly, in the years since, Drew has followed the paths of Jasinski and McDonald, being tasered by police when resisting arrest after having domestic violence charged filed against him.

Marvin Latimer, Season 5’s resident house chef, was a South  Carolina mortician who shared tentative partial-alliances with both the Four Horsemen and Pinky Swear Alliances.  His “floater” strategy got him eliminated mid-game, but he brought a lot of high energy and many entertaining quips to his time on the program.  Latimer now hosts a YouTube broadcast known as “The Marvin Show.”

In spite of her creepy and pathological obsession with Cappy, Season 6 runner-up Ivette Corredero was someone who I actually found endearing with her outspokenness and fiery Latina personality.  I thought Janelle Pierzina was amusing in blending her “ditzy blonde” demeanor with fierceness in winning competitions, and I can understand why she became a “fan favorite.”  Howie Gordon was a loud, overbearing train wreck – but I have to give him points for being amusing to watch...mostly due to his obsession with “boobies,” his sexually-unbridled banter, and the fact that he made life miserable for Lewis (coining the nickname “Busto” for her).

Big Brother All-Stars was so disappointing that I will skip over most of it.  I just couldn’t get past Malin’s atrocious presence (for which Rosie O’Donnell later called him out, on The View).  One of the few highlights was when Nilson Schaffrich, Song, and Latimer returned as guest co-hosts for a food competition (since they each had histories of cooking extensively for their respective housemates).

My favorites from Season 8 were Kail’s onetime alliance mates in the short-lived Mrs. Robinson Alliance.  With Kail being the middle-aged mother figure in the house that season, she initially aligned herself with three young guys:  Mike Dutz, a contractor/model who got himself evicted by targeting Evel Dick; Nick Starcevic, a former college football player remembered for entering a “showmance” with Evel Dick’s estranged daughter, Daniele, who was paired with her father as part of that season’s “Nemesis” twist; and Zach Swerdzekski, a dimwitted-but-likable graphic designer who had a penchant for self-deprecating nudity.  Out of all of them, only Swerdzewski made it deep into the game (placing third to both of the Donatos).

Even amid the trash heap that was Big Brother 9, there were a few decent houseguests:  TMZ reporter Parker Somerville, who was shafted by the season’s “Soulmates” twist; Alex Coladonato, a charismatic Staten Island DJ, who, much like Somerville, was voted out early due to the twist; and James Zinkand (aka “Crazy James”), who went on to become the “fan favorite” due to his garishly-dyed hair and adventurous personality.

Season 10 marked a resurgence in quality for Big Brother.  There were more twists, better casting, and heightened drama.  Brian Hart was the handsome and charismatic techno-entrepreneur who had the distinction of being the first one voted out, due to houseguests’ perception of him as a Nakomis-like strategic threat.  Despite her perverse friendship with Jerry/Ollie/April, I found Michelle Costa to be saucy and spirited...and I wish she would have lasted longer.

Then there were the season’s two Dynamic Duos:  Keesha Smith, the outspoken sweetheart who bonded with the baudy and lovably loud Renny Martyn (a hairdresser from New Orleans, who always sported garish outfits amid a spicy tongue with which she lashed out at household troublemakers).

However, Season 10’s winner, Dan Gheesling, and runner-up, “mixologist” Memphis Garrett, formed the memorable Renegades Alliance.  Gheesling perfected an under-the-radar strategy by being down-to-earth and endearing, staying out of all the boisterous drama of the house...basically laying around and reading (especially his Bible) while everyone else shouted each other down.  He defeated Memphis in the show’s first unanimous jury vote once they cruised into the Final Two together.  Gheesling’s Diary Room confessionals – where he borderline-shouted his observations, probably as a consequence of being a high school football coach – were priceless.

Season 11:  this was the season that marked a turning-point for the power of “showmances” in the house. “Fan favorite” Jeff Schroeder (single-handedly responsible for getting Jessie evicted via the “Coup d’Etat” twist) and Jordan Lloyd formed one of the show’s most memorable and enduring “showmances.”  Jeff fell on his sword by overplaying, midgame; but Jordan was rewarded with the half-million dollar prize by taking the much-hated Natalie Martinez with her to the Final Two. And, to this day, the relationship between “Jordeff” remains solid.

Other likable contestants that season were brainy scientist Michele Noonan, who tried to play a low-key game but was later forced to embrace her role as a “quiet devil;” Kevin Campbell, the gay graphic designer who aligned with Jessie’s allies while keeping his distance from Jessie himself; and Casey Turner, a fortysomething married father and DJ who was just plain fun and chill.

In spite of the disappointment that was Big Brother 12, I have to give major props to that season’s winner, Hayden Moss – jovial, loyal, humane, free-spirited, uninhibited, and competitive.  It’s not surprising that Moss went on to compete in Survivor: Blood vs. Water (where he placed seventh) – the first Big Brother contestant to do so. Pharmaceutical rep Britney Godwin was also hilarious in her Diary Room confessionals, and Reilly’s “showmance” partner Brendon Villegas was overall a really good (and hot!) guy, despite being utterly clueless.

Out of the newbies in Season 13, Dominic Briones (who would later go on to marry housemate Daniele Donato in real-life) was a convivial and boisterous dude who was evicted way too early (due to Schroeder’s bullying). Likewise with Cassi Colvin, a bold and candid young woman evicted right after Briones (due to Reilly’s bullying). And, although she was evicted during the jury phase, Daniele was given a much greater opportunity to shine this season compared to four years earlier when she’d played second banana to her father.

Season 14 was when Big Brother began to get really good.  The “Coaches” twist (and especially the returns of Gheesling and Godwin) featured some of the most eclectic newbies in years.  Among them:  Frank Eudy (son of professional wrestler Sid Vicious), a mop-headed competition beast whom Malin adopted as the newest member of “Chilltown;” JoJo Spatafora, a cheeky Staten Island bartender who, much like Somerville, Hart, Briones, and Colvin in seasons before hers, was evicted way too early; Jenn Arroyo (known affectionately by housemates as “JennCity”), a lesbian heavy-metal rocker; Shane Meaney, a hunky Vermont house-flipper who also dominated the physical competitions; and, of course, the lovable Ian Terry, a nerdy-but-shrewd Tulane graduate (and eventual winner of Season 14) who, as a lifelong fan of Big Brother, memorably blindsided Malin – his own former “coach” prior to the reset.

Just last summer, even amongst the “racists and fools” of Season 15 were some gems:  McCrae Olson, the pizza delivery guy who formed a “showmance” with house bully Amanda Zuckerman; David Girton, a studly lifeguard who was the first one evicted (after forming a “showmance” with house racist Aaryn Gries) that summer; and the season’s “housemother,” Chicago political consultant Helen Kim.  

Unfortunately, the season’s winner and runner-up, Andy Herron (Big Brother’s first openly-gay winner) and GinaMarie Zimmerman, also displayed much bigotry and depravity...which was witnessed by those watching the live feeds, but didn’t make it into their television edits (which, because they were so favorable, caused me to really like them both).  Also, GinaMarie developed an obsessively-entertaining infatuation with houseguest Nick Uhas (the second player evicted), a cute-and-hilarious pro skater who, like so many others before him, went out way too early.

As I write the above recollections from the past fourteen years, it only reinforces to me how Big Brother is a microcosm of our flawed society.  Sometimes people get rewarded for bullying or idiocy, and sometimes they get called out on it.  Sometimes entertaining and sociable people make it far in life, but other times they’re stymied by those who view them as “a threat.”

This is probably why I find myself getting wrapped up in who stays and who goes, as I watch, every summer.  When I love a houseguest, I want her or him to make it far in the game – because it’s like spending an hour a week with a good friend.  By contrast, if I loathe a houseguest, I want him or her to be evicted (and to see them humiliated based on their negative antics) because that’s one less week I have to endure them on my TV screen.

And, of course, there are always the “train wrecks” – houseguests whom I enjoy watching solely for entertainment value, even though I can’t take them seriously as a contestant (and, in reality, they have no decent shot at actually winning).  Often times, these overwrought players will function as “tokens” who create hilarity and chaos in the house (giving my favorites more of a chance to go farther in the game).  

Just some of the most hilarious memories from Big Brother history...

Identical twins Adria Klein and Natalie Carroll revealing the “Twin Twist” to their Season 5 housemates, as they’d been switching clothing and spots in the house for weeks at that point.

Newly-minted HoH Pierzina chanting “Bye, Bye, Bitches!” after putting up two members of The Nerd Herd (Ausburn and Vasquez) on the block.

Stein revealing he was secretly “America’s Player” during the Big Brother 8 finale.

All the drama caused by the Season 10 houseguests on Keesha’s birthday...which was all instigated, of course, by Jessie.  It culminated in the houseguests serenading Keesha with a half-hearted version of “Happy Birthday” – after which, the fighting picked right back up (again, no thanks to Jessie!).

Jeff using the Coup d’Etat, which led to Jessie’s eviction.

Kevin becoming exasperated when Natalie, Lydia, and Chima basically formed a “mini-cult” venerating Jessie in the aftermath of his eviction (which was eerily similar to the “Cult of Cappy” perpetuated by “The Nerd Herd” in Season 6).

The “wild child” and much-tattooed houseguest, Lydia Tavera, having an epic meltdown after her ally, Jessie, was evicted.

Julie Chen interviewing Malin, Reyes, Pierzina, and Evel Dick about their views on Season 11 (watch for the moment when, after Malin partially defends Chima’s state-of-mind which led to her expulsion, Evel Dick tells Malin that he “should jump off a bridge”).

Britney calling out Malin, after he stopped ignoring her, six days into the “Coaches’ Season” (Big Brother 14).

Malin watching his “goodbye videos” after his blindside eviction...and learning that Ian had a large hand in his demise.

Gheesling orchestrating his own “funeral” (after emerging from a solitary confinement punishment) in order to get himself off the nomination block.

So far this season, I have my least favorites.  Two of them have already been evicted:  Devin Shepherd, a mashup of Godderz and Littman (with a little bit of Kass McQuillen, from Survivor: Cagayan, thrown in), whose strategy and logic were completely nonexistent during his three weeks in the house; and Paola Shea (known as “Pao-Pao”), a walking caricature of the “deceitful Filipina” stereotype...who, based on her individual behavior, was just plain annoying.

Then we have Donny Thompson, the kind-hearted Duck Dynasty reject who is clearly designed to be Cowboy 2.0 (although he’s a lot smarter than Cowboy – not that that’s saying much).   Caleb Reynolds is a young redneck whose romantic obsession with housemate Amber Borzotra borders on pathological, rivaling that which GinaMarie had toward Nick last season (or that which Natalie Cunial had toward Matty in Season 9). And there’s Victoria Rafaeli, a complete waste of space due to her utter pointlessness (could she become the next April Lewis or Adam Poch?)...obviously, her audition for Shahs of Sunset didn’t work out.

Who do I like this season?  Along with Amber, I’m really digging Tucson barista Christine Brecht (and her “chickmance” with fellow geeky housemate Nicole Franzel).   Hayden Voss (one syllable away from the namesake of Season 12’s winner) is a super-cool surfer-like dude who doesn’t actually surf (he drives a PediCab in Long Beach).  Palm  Beach economics graduate Zach Rance and sales account executive Cody Calafiore would totally be my “bromance” partners, if I was in the house.

And I want Frankie Grande (the real-life brother of pop music superstar Ariana Grande) as my husband!

This season, Grodner has introduced the “Team America” twist, where America voted for three houseguests (Donny, Frankie, and Rhode Island cop Derrick Levasseur) to perform acts of sabotage all season long; each member of Team America will be awarded $5,000 for every mission they successfully complete.

Also, every week TWO Heads of Household are crowded, and each of them nominates two houseguests for eviction.  Then, the four nominees compete in the “Battle of the Block,” where the victorious pair automatically comes off the chopping block and overthrows the HoH who nominated them.

So what twists would I add to the Big Brother House? How about a season where we return to there being only one HoH each week – and he or she has the choice to nominate two, three, or as many as four individual houseguests for eviction.  If four different houseguests are nominated for eviction, there would be two Power of Veto winners in the veto competition; and if one or both of those veto-holders chooses to leave the nominations intact, then one or two of the nominees would automatically come off the block based on an online vote (the result would still be the same:  only two houseguests remain on the chopping block when it’s time to vote for eviction).

But why would an HoH nominate more than two people?  Isn’t that just extra blood they’d be getting on their hands (pissing more people off)?   Maybe – but, alternately, it could be a good strategy for targeting a large alliance, for taking out one of many multiple threats (strategic or physical), or for trying to get a “floater” evicted by stacking the chopping block with several covert allies.

I also would switch up the “Haves/Have-Not’s” competition (including the food reward and penalties) each week.  First, while putting the losers on “slop” was entertaining during the first few seasons when it was used as a punishment, it’s gotten old.  I still think there should a be “food restriction” for losers, but it should become a bit more creative than merely placing the losing team on “slop” and two bizarre items.

What I would do is turn it into a three-team competition where three separate groups of houseguests compete to become either the “Haves,” “Could-Haves,” and “Have-Nots” each week.  Additionally, during weeks when the number of competing houseguests isn’t equally divisible by three, the statuses of “Haves,” “Could Haves,” and “Have-Nots” would be assigned via a collective house competition (everyone other than the HOH receives the same status, depending on how they do), or perhaps dispersed on the whims of a reward competition winner, or maybe even be based on failure to meet an endurance standard in a timed competition.

Under my blueprint:

Haves would receive:  an unlimited gourmet food selection (compiled from a lengthy grocery list of their choosing), unlimited access to all of the Big Brother House’s amenities, and even some luxurious theme parties (which the “Could-Haves” and “Have-Nots” would be unable to attend).

Could-Haves (most likely, the runners-up in the competition) would receive: basic food rations (including, but not limited to, peanut-butter-and-jelly) that fall into every category on the food pyramid, standard house privileges (including hot showers and comfortable beds), but zero access to “special events” (with the exception of things specifically approved by producers, such as celebrating a houseguest’s birthday).

Have-Nots would receive:  a very limited selection of approximately one dozen “bizarre” foods that are voted on by America, cold showers (producers turn off the showers’ hot water when a Have-Not is preparing to shower), and horrible sleeping conditions.

These “bizarre” foods (assigned to the “Have-Nots”) would be items that fans could vote on through the CBS website each week.  The top twelve foods (voted on by America) would be the only edibles (aside from water and condiments) which the “Have-Nots” may consume during that week.  These “culinary delights” could include morsels such as escargot (snails), tofu, mole, seaweed, pickled peppers, sea cucumber, whelk (sea snail), squid, octopus, sea urchin, frog legs, ostrich, kumis, fava beans, chicken hearts, kielbasa, reindeer, salo (pork belly), head cheese, jellied eels, herring, conch meat, duck livers, mussels, fish maw, Spam musubi, lutefisk, roti (Indian wholemeal bread), fresh durian, salak, ube (purple yam), wheatgrass, flax, nettles, etc.

Also, “slop” would still be available for the “Have-Nots” to exclusively consume – but only on a voluntary basis.  So why would any contestant voluntarily agree to eat that rancid stuff?  For every full bowl (16 ounces) of “slop” that a “Have-Not” is able to successfully consume during their “Week of Hell,” that contestant receives $1,000 (per bowl).

There are countless twists they could add...and, most certainly, countless seasons of Big Brother ahead of us.

As you can see, based on how long this article has run, my addiction to Big Brother is one that I’m not going to kick anytime soon.