#i just want to be normal and to be in a normal relationship where we do normal things

[psychesalcove]

WE WANNA TALK ABOUT SEX BUT WE'RE NOT ALLOWED

college au!percy jackson x fem!reader

⚠️: reader has anxiety, percy being too obvious for his own good, shitty writing (im sorry guys 😭), mentions of sex, cursing, emotional cheating (on percys end), not proofread at all, mentions of an anxiety attack, insecure reader

IN WHICH: you and percy have been dating for around a year. however, you feel like he is always choosing annabeth over you, even if he isn't aware of it. tonight, you decided to confront him about it, ending the night not knowing where your relationship stands with him.

requested: yes, by anon

a/n: GUYS IM SO SORRY IM KIKE NOT GOOD AT WRITING ANGST BUT I TRIES 😭😭 JUST MESSAGW ME ABAIN AND ILL REWRITE IT IN A DIFFERENT WAY BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY!!😔

you knew this talk had to happen at some point. it was inevitable. there was this unspoken tension between you and percy, and you weren't even sure if he was aware of it. for a while, you thought it was just your anxiety driven brain making you feel the tension—but you soon realized it was there and not made up.

percy and you had been dating for around a year, beggening right before your freshman year of college started. before that, percy had been in a relationship with annabeth. you were on neutral terms with her;you weren't best friends, but you also didn't hate eachother. but lately, that feeling of neutrality with her was slipping away.

you knew percy and her were close, but you didn't understand why they were as close as they were. you knew percy would never cheat, but you figured he didn't understand not being there for his partner.

anytime you wanted to be around him, he would say that annabeth needed him for something. reviewing notes for class, wanting help with decorating her condo, helping her with a new recipe she was doing, anything really.

at first, you didn't mind that much. you knew they weren't sleeping with eachother or anything, but as time went on, going into the last quarter of the school year, you knew that he would go back to annabeth sooner rather than later. his mind was always occupied with her, somehow managing to bring her up in every conversation you have with him.

ᝰ

you sat on the beige couch that you and percy had bought at Ikea last summer, looking out to the balcony area, waiting for percy to arrive. as much as you didn't want to talk to him about this, you knew the longer you put it off the harder the talk would be. you assumed he would be getting back in around 5 minutes, knowing the route he takes in his car to get to the condo from campus.

suddenly the old wooden door creaked open, disturbing the silence that blanketed the room. you sighed lightly, still wondering how to even start a conversation with percy.

percy soon came into vision, dropping his jansport backpack onto the floor before turning to you. "hi, pretty," he hummed. "how was your day?"

you decided to ease into a normal conversation between the two of you before asking the inevitable question that could determine the future of your relationship. "it was fine, english has been kicking my ass recently though, how about you?" you asked, moving around so you were in a more comfortable position.

"it was also fine, but if your having trouble with english, i could ask annabeth—" you cut him off with a sigh, knowing that was your que to steer the conversation in another direction.

"could you sit down percy, please?" you say, making eye contact with him for the first time since he came home. "we really need to talk,"

"uhm.. yeah of course" he says looking around the room quickly before sitting down on the sofa. "if this is about those mint cookies, i did eat them, didn't mean to though, promise." he explains quickly, looking at you with a small smile.

you press your lips into a thin line, knowing how different of a conversation this is going to be than that. "percy, where do you see our relationship going?"

there it is. the idea is out there, in the open, for percy to do anything with.

you watch his eyes widen slightly, looking at you with a questioning look. "what do you mean? i mean, obviously we're going to keep living together, maybe get a better place for next year, we could even make our new kitchen like annabeths–"

"there you go again talking about annabeth!" you said, raising your voice slightly. "i know that the two of you are friends, and i'm fine with that, but not if it's getting in the way of our relationship. almost every conversation you bring her up:annabeth this annabeth that. i know you two are exs, and again, i'm fine with that, but that also means you could have romantiic feelings about her still. i really don't think we should even be doing this if you do, percy."

he sat up straighter at the tone of your voice and what you said to him. "why would i still have feelings for a annabeth? that's why we chose to end our relationship, because neither of us had feelings for eachother!" he exclaimed, attempting to keep a calm voice.

"percy, i really just don't think you're in the mental place to be in a relationship with me, or maybe anyone right now. i don't know what to do—"

percy cut you off, "what do you mean you don't know what to do? i'm the one being told by my girlfriend of a year that she doesn't know if she wants to continue our relationship!" he sat up from the couch and started motioning with his hands. "I'm the one that doesn't know what to do. it's not like i'm going around and having sex with annabeth. you know i wouldn't do that to you!"

"there are other ways of cheating than that percy, and im not saying your cheating on me, I'm just saying that your mind is still on annabeth, which means I don't know if we should be a thing or not." you said. "and honestly, with the reaction your having, i wouldn't be surprised if you were cheating." you also sat up from the couch and moved to stand by him.

"i understand that, but like i said, i'm not going over there to have sex with her or kiss her or anything like that. all im doing is spending time with her, can i not chose who i spend my time with now?" percy spat at you, giving you a look that made you know he was starting to get pissed off.

"that's the problem percy! your spending time with her, which would be okay, if you weren't canceling on me, your girlfriend!" you said, continuing to raise your voice.

he scoffed at you. "name one time that i cancel—"

"last week, when we were supposed to go the cafe to study for an exam together. i was waiting for you at the door when you were grabbing your backpack, and then you come up to me and say that you can't go because annabeth had finished reviewing your notes. and, for some reason, you had to go to hers that moment to get your notes instead of saying that you could later and go to the cafe, with your girlfriend!" you rambled, getting more mad remembering the memory.

you saw a small flash of guilt in percys eyes, but you didn't let him speak. "every single week percy! its the same fucking thing! you cancle last minute to go to annabeth, even dates you've canceled. and i know that your not sleeping with her or anything, but you're still putting her first instead of me. and that hurts. it really hurts." your voice became softer, cracking when you finished speaking.

your eyes filled with tears, and you started blinking rapidly to keep them at bay. "so yeah, percy, that's why i'm wondering what's going to be our relationship in the future. because right now, i'm not seeing one at all."

you shook your head as you saw his mouth open, still wanting to talk and get through to him. "i love you, so, so much. and it hurts, knowing that i'll always be out second to annabeth. if you want to continue our relationship, you're really going to have to change, percy. and i don't know if you're willing to do that for me." your tears starting openly falling down your face, your brain thinking of what it'll be like to not have percy in your life.

you saw percys mouth open, so you quickly looked down, knowing whatever he was going to say will make you go over the edge and into an anxiety attack. "...why didn't you tell me you felt like that?" he asked with a soft tone to his voice. you shook your had again, knowing you didn't fully get through to him.

"if you were feeling like that, you could have told me and i would have stopped," percy explained, opening his arms to hug you.

you quickly stepped back, not wanting to touch him. "you know what percy? i shouldn't have even had to talk to you about it, because it shouldn't have been a problem. i would have talked to you about it sooner, but i knew it was going to go the way this is going." you said as you wrapped your arms around yourself.

"your not understanding what you did wrong, just saying that i should have done something. which i should have, but i was to nervous, i know that you're too good foe me, gods, i get reminded every single day! so i didn't bring it up to you because i knew that i could've lost you by talking about this!" you let out your first sob as you finished, now thinking of how your going to have to move all your stuff out and stay at your friends condo until you can find a new one.

"hey—hey, let's have you calm down first before we talk. i promise I'm not going anywhere unless you want me to," he said, attempting to make eye contact before you looked down again.

"can, can you just leave? just for a while, please? I–I need to think and it's just really hard being around you right now." you said through your sobs, feeling guilty of practically kicking percy out of his own home, even if just for a while.

you didn't hear what he said, but you watched through your blurred vision as he walked away twords the front hall, heard him grab his keys, and then heard the door close behind him. you quickly walked into your shared bedroom, taking a seat on the edge of your queen size bed.

you look over at percys nightstand, seeing a framed picture of the two of you on your 6th month anniversary. then, your eyes quickly go to a polaroid in front of the framed picture. you sobs grew louder as you grabbed the framed picture and threw it out of anger, sending glass shards across the carpeted floor.

the polaroid was of percy and annabeth, sitting at the campfire back at camp half blood, both having matching smiles on their faces.

you could never compete with annabeth, even in the form of a picture.

#percy jackson #percy jackson x reader #percy pjo #percy jackson x you #pjo x you #pjo x reader #percy jackson x y/n #percy jackson x reader angst #percy jackson x you angst

[sharonccrter]

I saw this really interesting video, which talked about my two biggest gripes with challengers' discourse. Which are that everyone keeps saying Art is the heart of this movie, and secondly, the insistence that Patrick doesn't love Tashi, only Art. The creator pushes back against these two narratives, and I wholeheartedly agree. Patrick is arguably the heart of this movie.

Two of the most important scenes in the movie are the churro scene and the scene between p/t out in the storm, and they both centre around Patrick.

The entire movie is about passion and purpose in life, and Patrick is the passion.

I mean, a lot of people assume Patrick didn't really have feelings for Tashi, but the only person who says that is Art. Who is vying for Tashi and is his biggest competitor. The reason I empathise with Patrick is that he is genuine and loving to Art; he does love him. However, we are shown no evidence to suggest that Patrick is this shitty boyfriend, apart from what Art says when he's trying to get into Tashi's head because his jealous. We find out that they're talking every week while he's on tour (normal relationship shit). It's Art who insinuates that Patrick is cheating while on tour. The only person in this movie who says Patrick doesn't love Tashi is Art, and it's obviously very intentional.

I think the reason both Tashi and Art push Patrick out of their lives is because he forces them to comfort parts of themselves they are not yet comfortable with. I mean, it's obvious why Tashi would react that way to Patrick; she's just lost the most important thing in her life. However, I think it's tragic from Patrick's point of view as well. I mean, what did Patrick really do? He got into a fight with his girlfriend because she hurt his feelings.

And no, he's hurt was not about Art. The fight made him feel unimportant, which made him feel like she didn't actually care about him. And that's where Art comes in, because who was going around telling Patrick Tashi didn't give a shit? You bet ya. Art. Art absolutely got into his head. And even if he clocked it, in that moment, he still allowed it to get to him because he was emotional and upset. And because he was too hurt to support her, he was thrown out of Tashi and Art's lives.

And here's the thing, Patrick never saw Tashi as an idea. He saw her as a real person, unlike Art kinda did. Patrick wasn't going to let Tashi treat him like shit just because she was special. And, tbh, if Tashi hadn't gotten injured, I think it's something she would have eventually been grateful for. But instead, she got hurt; she pushed Patrick away, and Art slid into his place, telling her that she could be his entire world and the star. That's not healthy, and sorry to stay a little manipulative.

And let's talk about Art. Patrick and him were literally fire and ice. They always had this underlying desire. They were perfect opposites. Let's face it: Art could never replicate what he had on the court (and off) with anyone else. But instead of confronting his feelings, he took the first chance he had to get Patrick out of his life.

The girl I was watching said it perfectly, "Art and Tashi allowed themselves to find consolation prizes in each other and allowed them to run from parts of themselves they didn't want to comfort and in turn enable each other's worst habits."

Art tries to become a tennis superstar so Tashi can live through him, and Tashi gives him a family so he can finally be confident in who he is. But is there any passion? I don't know; I think at some point, it drained; nothing about what I saw on screen apart from their initial get-together screams passion.

Cue Patrick walking back into their life and showing them how they can feel. Art was always going to let Tashi live through him, but that was never going to be satisfying for her. Tashi needs to find a way to create an identity for herself, separate from him. And I believe it'll be the only way she'll live a satisfying life. That's why they need Patrick: to make them realise that and to help them rediscover their passion.

I think people think that Art is the heart because Patrick admits to being a piece of shit. But the truth is, they're all dicks; Patrick was just the only one who was willing to admit it.

#challengers movie #challengers #patrick zweig #art donaldson #tashi duncan #josh o'connor #mike faist #zendaya

[golbrocklovely]

complicated // sam golbach

A/N: had an idea like this for quite sometime, and i was finally able to finish this fic. just so everyone's aware, there WILL be a part two. but it might not be in the way you think lol hope you enjoy this fic and lmk what you think :)

prompt: you and sam needed a stress relief, and if you couldn't get it from who you really wanted it from, second best was better than nothing at all. || sam golbach x fem!reader

trigger warning: SMUT, drunk sex, cursing, snc are both single in this fic, angst, finding comfort in each other, friends to lovers, kitchen sex, almost getting caught, mentions of babygirl, good girl, sam is using you and you are using sam

word count: 4020

~~~~~~~~~~~

To say my relationship with Sam and Colby was complicated was a bit of an understatement. But I had no one to blame, really, except for myself.

I had known them for years, being one of the first friends they made once they moved out to LA. We were always friendly with each other, and kept in contact over the years. Then one day, they told me about how they needed an assistant, someone that could help out behind the scenes as well as being in videos occasionally. Things fell into place perfectly, and I signed on to be their assistant. I moved out to Vegas with them, living in an apartment not too far away from their place.

God only knew why I even had my own place since I crashed at their house more often than not.

Our relationship never seemed all that complicated.... until one day. Something clicked in my head, and suddenly I became extremely aware of how attractive Colby was. His eyes, his smile, his voice. Sam, of course, was attractive too. But he always had Kat, so it was never appropriate for me to like him. But Colby... he was basically an eternal bachelor. So, it made total sense for me to like him.

And our friendship was a bit strange to begin with. We were both naturally flirty people, constantly hitting on one another whether sober or drunk; but especially when we were drunk. There were some close encounters with us, especially once we started opening up to one another. I could count on two hands how many times we had kissed, and on one how many times we had almost gone farther than that. But we never finished what we started.

The problem with Colby is I could never tell where we stood entirely. Sometimes, it seemed like I was all he wanted to pay attention to. Other times, he was with someone else, and wouldn't even glance my way. It was strange. He was always close, but somehow an arm's length away.

And some nights, I couldn't stand him. The back and forth, the cat and mouse game... It was exhausting, to say the least. Sometimes I just wanted to know how he felt. Exactly. With no add ons or extra shit. But with Colby, it was never that simple.

This was normal for us. But things changed once Sam became single, and both of the boys were out on the prowl. It was like their auras changed, and suddenly I was seeing them through different eyes.

I had no one to blame except myself. But at the same time, I didn't feel guilty.

If he can have fun, so can I.

~~~~

“But did you see him? He was basically humping the air!” Colby laughed, kicking his shoes off.

I followed him and Sam into the kitchen area, our usual hang out spot. “Oh my God, yes! It was almost like your old Vine.”

He groaned, “Please don't bring that-”

“Baby grinnnnndd oooon meeeeeee!” I sang dramatically, completely offkey.

He deadpanned, “I hate you so much.”

I faux gasped, clutching my nonexistent pearls. “Wha? How could you say that? I'm one of your best friends!”

“And you're about to be unemployed if you keep it up.” Colby crossed his arms defiantly. 

I narrowed my eyes. “You wouldn't.”

He smirked, “Try me.”

I turned away from him, yelling to my other best friend, “Sam! Tell Colby he can't just fire me because I'm making fun of him.”

Sam looked up from his phone, “Uh? I wasn't paying attention to what either of you were saying.”

“What are you doing?” I asked, dropping the topic.

He stared at me innocently, “...Trying to order Taco Bell.”

“Oh my God, Taco Bell.” Colby moaned, closing his eyes, “Oh, fuck.”

I grimaced, “Damn Colby, try not to come in your pants. It's just Taco Bell.”

“I'm sorry, I just get hard for Taco Bell.” Colby admitted casually.

Sam chimed in, “Dude, I get hard for Taco Bell too.”

I scrunched my face, “You guys are weird.”

Colby smiled playfully, walking away, “I'm gonna go change, order my regular?”

“Gotchu, brother.” Sam nodded.

I sighed, leaning against the island. I watched Sam scroll through his phone, clicking away at options for food.

“What do you want?” He asked.

I shrugged, “I don't know. Can I see your phone?”

“Come over here. I don't want to throw my phone.” He commented.

I huffed jokingly, walking over to him, taking it from his hand. "Well, someone's in a shitty mood."

“I'm not in a shitty mood. I'm tired, I'm drunk, and I'm very hungry. And I wish I ordered Taco Bell in the Uber home.” Sam replied, exacerbated.

“So... a shitty mood?” I repeated.

He grumbled, “Yeah, sure. Whatever.”

“Is something the matter?” I questioned, still looking at the Taco Bell menu.

He paused, then finally spoke. “It's been a year.”

I glanced up, “A year?” 

“Since we... broke up.” He finally finished.

My eyes widened, putting his phone down on the counter. "Oh shit, I'm sorry Sam."

He exhaled, swatting at me, “It's okay.”

“No, we shouldn't have.... gone out tonight.” I half-heartedly argued.

“Why? So I could sulk at home over my failed relationship? I don't think that would have been any better.” He quipped.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” I placed my hand on his shoulder.

“I don't know.” He leaned back, rubbing his eyes tirelessly, “It just feels weird, you know? I never thought I would be single again, so all of this just feels... off.”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, you're not the only one struggling in the love department.” I remarked.

“What? You and your secret pining for Colby not working out for you?” Sam sassed.

I glared, sucking my teeth, You know, sometimes you can be a real ass.”

“What? Because I can see you like Colby and he's just... blind, to it?” He smirked.

“Why don't you tell him that and not me?” I jeered.

“I'm not getting involved with whatever the two of you got going on. I swore off helping his dating life long ago.” He chuckled, putting his hands up defensively.

I scoffed, “You were literally his wingman tonight as he flirted with the waitress!

“And you wouldn't have noticed that if you weren't watching him like a hawk.” He mentioned.

I rolled my eyes, my hands resting on my hips. “Trust me, I wanted to look away. But it was like watching a train crash.”

Sam laughed, “A train crash that ended in him getting her number.”

I exhaled. “Again, the whole 'you're an ass' comment stands.”

“Why don't you just tell him how you feel?” He rebutted.

“He knows,” I winced, shrugging. “He... has to know. He just pretends it's not real. When there's no one else, that's when he comes to me.”

“And how does that make you feel?” He inquired.

“Like shit. I hate being a second choice.” I muttered.

He hummed, “I know the feeling.” 

“Yeah, well at least you got to be first. I don't think that's ever gonna happen with me and him.” I sighed, ignoring my heart dropping at my own words.

Sam, always the optimist, replied, “Maybe that's better in the long run. Maybe you work better as friends.” 

“Maybe.... But what about you?” I stared up at him.

“What about me?” He chuckled.

“You really do have a knack for just changing up the conversation so you don't gotta talk about yourself.” I pointed at him, pushing my finger into his chest.

“What do you wanna know?” He asked.

I questioned, looking into his eyes. “How are you feeling? Genuinely.” 

“Genuinely... I'm…” He was hesitant, but spoke, “a bit lonely.”

“Have you tried to be with other girls since your break up?” I queried.

Sam nodded, “Yeah. But none of them seemed right. I've realized I don't like being alone.”

“Not many truly do.” I added.

“It just feels odd not having someone there, you know? You wake up for years with the same person over and over again, but once they're gone it's like... something's missing.” He exhaled, his head falling back.

“Well, someone is.” I murmured, leaning against him. 

He groaned, rubbing his eyes, “I kinda feel like a teenager again, but in the worst way.”

I turned to him, puzzled. “Really?”

“I can't tell how I feel anymore. Or what I want.” He flipped his hands over, weighing the options, “Am I lonely or just alone? Do I miss her or just the comfort that having her brought?”

I jokingly mimicked him, “Am I finally into someone new or am I just horny?”

“Yeah…” He gave me a strange look, but laughed, “What a weird way to put it, but yeah.”

I pffted, “Oh, I'm sorry. You two just said you get hard for Taco Bell, but I can't say I get horny sometimes?”

“Well you are my employee.” He smiled sarcastically.

“And you're my employer. So it's even worse.” I glared, “I should report you to HR.”

“We don't have HR.” Sam deadpanned.

“HR will have to hear about this... once they exist.” I declared.

He rolled his eyes at me, “Are you really horny that often?”

I inhaled, “Bro, honestly.... it's really bad sometimes.”

“Really? Like how bad?” He pushed.

“The other night I almost called up an ex just to see if he would fuck me.” I admitted, uncomfortable by the memory.

He whistled, “Ooof, that's pretty bad.”

“What about you? How horny do you get?” I asked, almost confused why I was.

He thought for a second, then stated, “Mmm, maybe every couple days.”

I snickered, “Oh that's not too bad. Aren't guys notorious for being constant horn dogs?”

“I guess so, but you already know I'm not like most guys.” He winked.

I shook my head at him, “How unique of you.”

Sam stared at me, his gaze a mix of annoyance and... something else I couldn't place. His voice came out low, almost husky. "Are you horny now?"

Butterflies erupted in my stomach, and I did my best to play them off. "Maybe a little. What about you?"

He raised his eyebrows, noting my statement, "Maybe just a little."

I nodded softly, my eyes taking in his face. He was really handsome. He always was, even if most of my feelings were for Colby. His eyes were blue, but very different compared to Colby's. Icy and intense in nature. They stared into mine, his eyes flickering down my face to my lips. I mirrored him, looking at his. 

They looked awfully nice....

I don't know how, but we must have gotten closer and closer to one another. And suddenly, his lips were on mine. His arm wrapped around my lower back, pulling me towards him. My hands rested on his shoulders, catching my balance. His kiss was soft, but fierce. Our tongues met in a matter of seconds, a gasp falling from my lips when his entered my mouth. He pressed his body into mine, our hips meeting and grazing each other sexually.

Holy shit, I was kissing Sam. And not only that, I was liking it.

Sam must have also came to this realization, that he too was kissing me, because he pulled back abruptly. Shock was written all over his face. “Woah…”

I breathed, leaning back against the island. “W-What was that?”

“I don't know. Wow, um…” He sputtered, taking a step back.

I cleared my throat, “Yeah that was... surprising.” 

“You can say that.” Sam rubbed the back of his neck.

I exhaled, looking at him. "Guess we are really horny."

He agreed, letting out a light laugh.

We stood there in awkward silence, trying to get our bearings. My heart fluttered in my chest as I realized how turned on I had become just making out with him.

I really was in dire need to be fucked. And Sam... seemed willing enough. At least, for a moment there.

Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the loneliness. But something came over the both of us in that moment. We locked eyes, and it became apparent that things were changing. The awkward silence turned erotic, like one of us was waiting to make the next move. I wanted to, but what if I was wrong?

Fuck, I just... needed him.

Sam bit his lip, his eyes tracing my form. Once they landed back on my face, a look came over him. It was intense, his pupils blown wide. He looked eager, determined... hungry.

“Come here.” He mumbled lowly.

That's all I needed to hear.

I rushed up to him, our bodies slamming into one another. Our mouths met hastily, jumping right back into what we had been doing just minutes before. He wrapped his arms around me, his hands resting low on my hips. He spun us until my back hit the counter in the far corner of the kitchen. His hand slid down to my knee, raising it up so it rested around his hip.

He pulled away quickly, putting some space between us. Are you okay with this?”

I tried catching my breath, “W-wha?” 

“Are you okay with this? Do you really want this?” Sam questioned, repeating himself.

“Yeah I do. Why would you ask?” I furrowed my brow.

He scoffed, “Come on, Y/N. We just spent ten minutes talking about how you wanted Colby.”

“Yeah, and you spent the better half of that talking about how you miss your ex.” I retorted. “Obviously, we aren't each other’s.... first choices. But that doesn't mean we can't have fun. Let's just enjoy this, and not make this a big deal.” I snaked my arms around him, pulling him back into me.

“Fine with me.”

He lowered his face to my neck, sucking and nibbling on the sensitive skin. I lulled my head back, allowing him as much access as he wanted. He pressed his hips into mine, sparks shooting up through my core into my entire body. I whimpered unexpectedly, Sam smiling into my neck at the sound.

I tugged lightly on his hair, pulling his head back. Our lips met again, my hand roaming his chest. I found the first button of his shirt, undoing it. I slowly followed suit with the others, my fingers tracing down his torso as I did.

He grabbed my wrists, stopping my motions. “Shouldn't we go back to my room and do this? Do you wanna get caught by Colby?”

“How about we stop bringing him up? I don't want to be thinking about him right now,” I smiled bitterly. “And anyway, you know as well as I do that man is probably knocked out asleep on his bed. So we'll be good til morning.”

“I don’t think I'm gonna make it that long. Maybe three rounds max.” He joked.

“Oh wow, three rounds?” I gazed up and down at his body, “I'll settle for one right now.”

“Same here.” He kissed me quickly, pulling back for a moment, "but just in case he's not totally asleep, let's not get fully naked."

“Lame. But fine, I guess.” I huffed.

“Trust me, I would love to see all of you, but not now. Not here.” He whispered sweetly.

I giggled, his face and lips pressing into my chest as he lowered my top more. His tongue dragged across my skin, and I felt like I was on fire. 

Maybe all of that tequila was a good call, after all. Because God... the feeling between my legs was just growing hotter and wetter by the second. All I wanted was Sam.

Was there a part of me that also wanted Colby? Yes. But that part would have to shut it for now. Because he wasn't here. He didn't choose me. Sam did. And I was going to enjoy every second of it.

Our kisses became harsher, more passionate, as our hips grinded together harder. I could feel him against me, his bulge pressing right against my core. I grazed my hand down his torso, finally resting it on his belt. I undid with my one hand, trying my best.

He laughed, pulling back from me. “I'll get it.”

“Do you have a condom?” I breathed.

“Yeah, in my wallet.” He grabbed it out of his pocket, placing it on the counter. 

As he undid his belt, I took the condom out, ripping the package with my teeth. I gazed down at his dick; it strained against his underwear, begging to be touched. I reached out, cupping him softly.

“O-oh, fuck, Y/N.” He choked out a moan, his eyes closing at the feeling.

“Does that feel good, Sammy?” I whispered, biting my lip.

He glared, a smirk on his lips, "You know I hate when you call me that."

I bit back a smile, “But I enjoy it so much.”

He hummed, “And I guess I'll enjoy this.”

Sam closed the space between us, his eyes never leaving mine. His hand slid underneath my skirt, palming my sex instantly. I gasped as my wet panties pressed into my aching clit. I shuddered against him, a dark chuckle leaving his lips.

“That's it, babygirl. You're so wet for me, aren't you?” His voice was raspy as he spoke.

“I told you I was horny.” I rubbed my palm harder into his cock as he did the same to my clit.

“Yeah, but only a little bit. If this is only you a little horny, I can't imagine what you're like completely turned on.” He pressed into me more, kissing up my neck.

My breath hitched, “Get inside me and you'll find out.”

“Ain't gotta tell me twice.” Sam lowered his pants and underwear down enough for his cock to spring free. He took the condom from my hand, rolling it down his shaft. I watched in anticipation, direly needing him inside of me.

I yanked my panties down, kicking them off my heels. Sam lined up with my entrance, our eyes meeting again.

His tip teased me, “You ready?”

I nodded, “Please Sam, just-”

He inched his way in, filling me slowly. We both moaned in unison, the sensation hitting us hard. I was so wet and slick, he was able to push all the way in easily. Once our hips met, his hand cupped my face.

I opened my eyes, and his searched mine. I should have felt weird in this moment. Here I was, in my employers' and best friends' kitchen being fucked by one of them while the other was just a room or two away. We could get caught, we could be seen or heard at any moment. I shouldn't have wanted this. Sam was my friend, and not the one I really wanted in my heart.

But my feelings be damned if I wasn't gonna enjoy every second of this. Plus, it's not like I was the only one getting something out of this. I was his second choice, and he was mine.

Sam started bucking his hips, building up to a good rhythm. My hands slid up his back, resting on his shoulder blades. He leaned his forehead against mine, his eyes closed. He was concentrating on his movements, of going deeper into me. His one hand rested on my ass, cupping and gripping it as he thrusted. The other was in my hair, burying deeper into my locks.

“You feel so good, Y/N. So fucking wet.” He uttered, his voice shaking.

“I need more, Sam. Pleaseeee.” I whined.

“I gotchu, babygirl.” He lowered his hips, hitting my sex deeper, “Just like this?”

“Oh my- Fuck! Yes, just like that!” I cursed loudly.

He hushed me, snickering, “Shh, you can't be too loud. You might wake him. Unless that's what you want…”

“What?” I raised an eyebrow, pulling back slightly.

He slowed his movements down, tracing my jaw with his thumb.“You wanna get caught, don't you?” 

I hated that the idea did excite me. The thoughts swirled in my head; would Colby be upset? Would Sam? The what ifs made my mind wonder.

Sam grabbed my face suddenly, a little rougher than I expected him to be. “Look at me.”

I blinked, staring into his eyes.

“Don't look away from me, okay? I want all of your attention on me and what I'm doing to you. Got it?” He commanded.

His tone was sexy, my body jolting from the sound. “Okay.”

He pecked my lips, “Good girl.”

I gasped as his hand slid down to my clit, rubbing it in time with his thrusts. My body clenched at the sensation, my hips speeding up.

“You need more?” Sam growled.

I hummed, only able to nod. My nails dug into his back as he sped up his movements. He began fucking me harder against the counter. He held me steady, going deeper as he did.

I shuttered, “Fuuuck Sam. You make me feel so full.”

“Yeah? Feel fucking amazing, Y/N.” Sam grunted, “God, if you squeeze around me one more time, I'm gonna-

I smirked against his neck, squeezing his cock inside of me. He halted his hips, raising his head to look at me.

He pushed his dick all the way in, filling me completely. His fingers started rubbing my clit faster and faster. My mouth fell open, my body shaking with pleasure..

Sam glared into my eyes, watching me as I almost came undone. I gripped him hard, panting. I could feel myself getting closer and closer to the edge, and all he was doing was using his fingers.

“You right there for me?” He hissed.

I whimpered, pleading, “Please let me come.”

“Stay right there for me. Don't come yet.” He demanded.

He picked up his speed again, fucking me faster than he had before. His cock pounded into me repeatedly, adding more to the pleasure of his fingers on my clit. I could feel my wetness leak down my thighs. I was so close, unable to hold on for much longer.

“Sam, pleaseeee..... I'm so fucking close.” I mewled.

He groaned, closing his eyes tightly. “I'm right there, babygirl. You gonna come for me?”

“Fuck, yes, yes! Please Sam!” I cried, begging.

He slammed his hand down on my mouth, letting out a small laugh. “Don't fucking scream.”

My response was muffled, but he could tell what I said.

He lowered his mouth to my ear, whispering aggressively, “Squeeze around me. Do it, Y/N. Come for me.”

I bucked my hips with abandonment, my head falling back as my cries were silenced by his hand. Sam grunted lowly as he came, his fingers pressing into my clit while he was deep inside of me. My body spasmed, my orgasm hitting me in waves.

Sam fell against me, his hands sliding and wrapping around me in a soft embrace. We stood there for a moment, catching our breaths.

The silence was cut suddenly.... by the sound of Colby's door shutting.

We pulled away from one another, glancing at each other with wide eyes. We hastily pulled our clothes back on, fixing ourselves as best we could before Colby appeared.

I turned my back towards the boys, a noticeable blush on my face. I ran my fingers through my hair, adjusting it the best I could.

“Hey did you guys order Taco Bell yet?” Colby called, his voice coming from the other side of the kitchen island.

“Um, uh. N-no. Not yet.” Sam stammered out, clearing his throat.

Colby sighed dramatically. “Can you hurry up and do it? I'm fucking starving.”

I turned around, finally feeling relaxed enough to join in. “Yeah Sam, hurry up. I'm hungry.”

“I thought you said you were full.” He stared at me with a playful glint in his eye.

“Well,” I jested, cursing him out in my head, “I guess I have a bigger appetite than I thought.”

I gave Colby a quick once over, realizing he was shirtless and in sweatpants, like usual.

Definitely a bigger appetite…

#sam golbach #sam golbach fanfiction #sam golbach fanfic #sam golbach x reader #sam and colby smut #sam golbach fic #sam golbach angst #sam golbach one shot #sam golbach oneshot #colby brock #sam and colby

[birdbrainedboy]

I’m obsessed with this show and fear a hyperfixation anyways here are my thoughts on every character in the show

Edwin Paine: forever my favorite, even back before the show when I read the comics! I think it’s funny that basically every man in the show wants him? I’m intrigued by his character arc throughout the story regarding his sexuality as despite dying in 1916, he seems to have had time to slowly become more accepting of gay people (I’m guessing in part due to Charles, who is pansexual), to the point where there’s only mild internalized homophobia if at all, which just exhibits itself in him denying any possible feelings for Monty. I love how face-value and logical he is while still being a sweetheart

Charles Rowland: he has a pan flag pin on his jacket which confuses me bc can ghosts only wear clothes they would’ve worn when they were alive, or how do ghost clothes work? Because he died in 1989 and I’m near positive he didn’t wear that pin back there. Anyways I do love him but I wonder about some design choices, like the one earring (not sure why it just kinda annoys me). That was more a rant abt his design than his character, which I have nothing notable to say abt since I LOVE HIM he’s so real

Crystal Palace: sometimes she was a bit annoying the way she was trying way too hard to pry into everyone’s lives, but honestly that was just momentary annoyance since nothing could make me hate her. I love how her past was slowly revealed (as someone who already knew it from the comics) and how she came to terms with the person she used to be vs the person she is now. She’s so cool!

David the demon: honestly kind of caught me off guard at first bc the person I’m dating is named David but I actually enjoyed his character. LOVED when Crystal dealt with him in the end. He was very interesting

Niko Sasaki: I love Niko, but I have some problems with her character. First of all, I feel like ditsy anime-loving cutesy Asian girl with dyed hair is a weirdly common trope? But whatever my main issue is that it feels like characters who normalize the fetishization of gay men are so common. Like if Niko had been a guy obsessed with lesbian manga evb would be weirded out, so why is it different? If we ignore all of this tho I absolutely adore her and I’m actually praying she’s in the next season bc she was one of my favorites (esp her relationship w Edwin)

Jenny: She is so hot and cool and funny I’m in love with her

Esther: oh my god words cannot come close to describing how much I love her character. She felt powerless and weak in the past and now she’s become obsessed with making sure nobody has that power over her ever again. She was so fun and I loved her attitude! I’m sure she won’t show up next season, as she was the main antagonist of s1, and while I love her, I kind of hope she doesn’t since I think her arc was finished.

Monty: His personality was like 2020 “soft boy” who acts nice and dumb but is lowkey a manipulator. So obviously this kind of made me like ☠️ bc why is he acting like that… but I still love him to bits because he’s just a crow guys he didn’t ask to be human,, Anyways yeah his personality annoys me but also I love him so much so? It’s confusing. ITS COMPLICATED. I will cry if he’s not in s2

Kingham and Litty: I honestly thought they were annoying but I can’t lie they were so fucking funny. Every time they were on screen I laughed.

Cat King: oh my god. He is so camp. I love him. There’s honestly not much to say he is simply iconic. Love how he’s afraid to be alone so chases after other people, he’s so real AGHH I love him

Night Nurse: Ruth Connell the woman you are… 😍 she reminds me of Muriel from Good Omens, in a way, and I love her! I really hope we get to see more of her in relation to the guy in the fish, and see her get to better understand human emotions and why they choose to cling onto the human world rather than pass on!

#dead boy detective agency #dead boy detectives #charles rowland #edwin payne #crystal palace surname von hoverkraft #crystal palace #niko sasaki #david the demon #neil gaiman #esther #monty crow #cat king #night nurse #good omens

[yuurei20]

Compilation Master List: Q&A

(Not all but many!)

Ace ・I noticed that ace seemed to think the title of magic-less prefect was cool ・I suddenly remembered out of nowhere Ace had ghosted his ex

Trey ・I can''t remember a time when we've heard Trey use honorifics with anyone else in the student body.

Cater ・I have a curious question about a voice line from Cater's Bloom broom card. ・Is Cater Diamond attractive with both genders? ・Is it mentioned how many followers cater has on magicam? ・Do we know what caters dad does for work?

Leona ・So in the second novel, after Leona's overblot does it go into his past or is it just the speech afterwards? ・Does Leona have a favorite first year/freshman? ・Does novel Leona treat Yuuya differently compared to the game. ・I remember hearing once that leona can drive a car? ・Do Leona consider mc/yuu as friend or just a normal classmate?

Azul ・Can I ask about Leona and Azul's contract? ・Does canon ever say anything similar about how Azul was acknowledged as dorm head and when he assumed the position?

Jade, Floyd ・I wanted to know if it was ever mentioned anywhere that Jade ate his siblings. ・Is there any reference to the Tweels being afraid of sea snakes? ・Floyd's union birthday vingette in JP ・Is it true that Jade doesn't have any members in his club

Jamil ・When Jade corners Kalim with his UM in book 4, Kalim admits he knows who's been mind controlling him, but promised long ago to never tell. ・On the EN server, Jamil's lesson start line is translated as "No antics, please." ・I've seen people mention Jamil might actually care about Kalim more than the surface level ・So what's the deal with Jamil Viper's parents

Vil ・Could you explain to me why Vil is so insistent on correcting Epel's accent?

Rook ・Regarding Rook: do we know whether he arrived at NRC aboard the black carriage because he was actually picked by the Black Mirror? ・I was wondering if it's ever mentioned about Rook disliking anyone

Epel ・I've noticed Epel keeps adding 'kana' to the end of his sentences. What does it mean?

Idia ・How does Idia feel about Leona? ・How many times do lilia and idia interact in person? ・Does Idia's hair burn? ・Does idia sometimes use "de gozaru" to end sentences? ・I think I remember there being a lot of madness surrounding Idia being close to Yuu. ・Has there ever been a name given for the MMORPG Idia and Lilia play together? ・How do you think Idia got his unique magic? ・What's Idia's relationship with his parents like? ・Does Idia have any peeps that he can get along with, other than Ortho? ・Could it be that Idia actually considers the prefect to be a friend?

Malleus ・In twst is it obvious knowledge for the characters in game that malleus is like 100's of years old ・What honorifics does the cast use for Malleus? ・Do you know how Malleus got the dorm leader position? ・Did Malleus have a special tutor growing up or did Lilia also serve as his tutor?

Lilia ・Do you remember any instance of Lilia calling Silver 'his son' in JP server?

Silver ・Do the other members of Diasomnia know that Silver is Lilia's son?

Sebek ・When Sebek enters a battle, he says, "I'll swallow you whole." What does that mean? ・Is it possible that "human" can be used to describe everyone who isn't fae?

Crowley ・I swear the model of Crowley even in that moment was holding a whip ・Is there anything about Crowley Actually being stingy in game ・Have you seen the voice lines for Crowley's card? ・What's this Crowley's fan theory rejecting Deuce's application for a Magical Wheel club about?

Lucius ・Is there any canon indication that Lucius is Treins familiar?

Prefect Questions ・How many people know about Yuu is actually from the other world ・I was wondering what yuuya does during the OB battles? ・Is there anything in the novels where Yuuya going into a club is brought up? ・Does Crowley give the MC any allowance? ・Do you think a magicless prefect would be able to get thru NRC's curriculum w/o grim? ・Do the characters seem aware of the backstories of the other characters? ・When Yuuya arrived in Twisted Wonderland, did he instantly understand the language there? ・Has the Perfect ever given gifts in the birthday tracker? ・Is Yuuya more prominent in the novel than Yuu in the games ・Characters reacting to prefect ・Do you have any idea as to why the novel Yuu has severe social anxiety as opposed to the other Yuus? ・Did the novel talk about the effects of blot on normal people without magic? ・Ghost Prefect?

Students ・Do you know how many siblings each characters has ・I was wondering if it was "common" knowledge that the overblot happened or if it's only the students that were present that know about it? ・Do you perhaps know which character is the most frequent DUO character? ・Was there ever an official height chart anywhere? ・Did the 5 student overblots happen over the span of 5 months? ・Can i ask about what happens After the overblots? ・Was it ever said in the game or by the guys themselves where they go or what they do during the holidays/ winter break?

NRC ・Does any part of the story mention the cost of tuition at nrc? ・Does NRC have a nurse or a doctor for the infirmary? ・I was wondering how animal linguistics works ・Does Twst follow Western or Asian school system ・I've been trying to find out how many students go to nrc for fic purposes ・I was wondering if clubs are mandatory for students and when club enrollment begins. ・Are the student numbers chosen specifically or do they mean a specific thing? ・It is common knowledge that Night Raven College is an all-boy schools, but what about Royal Sword Academy or Noble Bell College?

Magic ・Concerning light and dark magic, has there really been like a significant difference between the two? ・So how many people do we know the circumstances of how they got their unique magic now? ・I was wondering how the novels described how it looks when each character's Unique Magic is cast.

Language ・Do you know why 'land of pyroxene' was changed to 'the shaftlands'? ・It seemed like Mickey was saying he saw the Silver haired weird eye colour boy... ・In EN, (Najma) calls (Jamil) bro/dude and he reacts with "since when do you call me bro/dude!?" I was wondering what this exchange is like in JP? ・In the new update malleus UM said fae malefience and not fae of malefience would you know why? ・"Cold One Duke"

Behind the Scenes ・How true is that Yana is not involved in the writing of all events? ・I'm especially curious about (Yana's) involvement in the starsending, chef, rabbit fest and harveston event. ・I was wondering if you knew anything about the artists who work on the game? ・Do you know if some of the characters were supposed to be girls or the school coed?

Various ・Has there been any comment about dinosaurs in twisted wonderland? ・I was curious about what's the largest and the shortest Twistune/Rhythmic. ・I keep seeing the fandom joke about S.T.Y.X being the government or something ・How on earth did the heroes stories work if they, uh, yk, dont have the villains? ・Is there info anywhere on how much a madol/thaumark is worth? ・Do you know if there is a timeline for the main story and events that would make for the best reading order? ・Reading Order Pt2 ・Book 7 Theory

#twstask #twisted wonderland #twst navigation

[lambtotheslaughterr]

Rise : Chapter Fifteen

A Rafe Cameron Series

[THIS STORY WILL CONTAIN THEMES OF NON-CON/DUB-CON, MENTAL-EMOTIONAL-PHYSICAL ABUSE, ETC. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. 18+. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT]

WC: 4.7k

Dividers provided by @firefly-graphics

CHAPTER FOURTEEN | MASTERLIST | CHAPTER SIXTEEN

IMPORTANT NOTE* hey ya'll! just a reminder that my requests are OPEN. please read this POST before making any requests as i have rules in place. there are four spots left (which you will see at the bottom of the linked post). so get your requests in if you're wanting to use me;p

            You taught yourself to not wish for the obvious in the end of times. You stopped wondering what ever happened to your parents, your friends, your neighbors. You quit hoping that someway, somehow, the world would heal itself & you would find yourself & millions of others back to some semblance of a normal life. But most off all, you didn’t dream about waking up from this nightmare. It was real. It was happening. And all you could do was run with it. But what you would spend your time wishing for is that time would move faster.

            The last week dragged by miserably. Though you were glad to have your own secure role in the group, it was oftentimes lonely. Those who scavenged were gone for days at a time, & those who didn’t worked together day-in & day-out. You were the only one who had this small corner of the building to yourself, & others rarely came to visit. One visitor you could always count on though was Rafe.

            Though you were still wary of him, of the truths he told you, you still welcomed his presence. It was your only real human connection in the midst of all the bullshit. But your relationship with Rafe was beginning to bother you.

            It wasn’t until a couple days ago when you were heading to the mess hall to get your lunch that you heard voices talking carelessly about you. The mess hall was large, where people sat to eat at the other end of it, but voices carried, & the voices that day were as clear as glass.

            Your assimilation to the group was being mocked. They welcomed you, at first. But that was only when you were working alongside them. Now, the others were beginning to resent you. You heard as such before entering the mess hall, pausing outside the door to listen.

            “Everyone knows that manning a radio is easy work. Boring, but easy.” One voice began. From what little interaction you had with the others, you thought it to be Enzo.

            “Don’t forget useless.” Another pointed out & the others chuckled at that.

            “Seriously. She doesn’t help at all. Rafe giving her that role was stupid, in my opinion. I mean, he told us when we got here that they were on the radio for days, only hearing recycled announcements. No one else is out there.”

            You frowned at that but you knew it to be true.

            “He just puts her there to keep an eye on her. He’ll bitch at us about pulling our weight but god forbid if he gives his whore a task worth doing.”

            Your heart slammed in your chest at the insult. These people weren’t your friends, but they were supposed to be your community. Now, every smile they gave you felt forced. Every greeting was just a means to keep the peace. They didn’t care about you, they thought so little of you. But perhaps they were right.

            Squaring your shoulders, you entered the mess hall, & the voices quieted instantly. But they played it off well.

            Maddy elongated her neck, spotting you over Enzo’s shoulder, “Hey, _____.”

            You waved a hand but said nothing in return. You gathered some food on your plate & got yourself a cup of water before leaving. You didn’t miss the judgmental scoffs as you did,

            “Guess she’s too good for us now.” They all laughed.

            Back down in the office, you threw your plate onto the desk, some food falling off. You weren’t hungry, but you couldn’t show weakness in front of them. You didn’t need friends. But the thought saddened you. Only a few months ago you had nine of them. But the world took the lives of half of them & the remaining few had little to say to you. Even Bear.

            You thought a lot about Bear. You’d often catch him watching you with a concerned expression. It wasn’t filled with annoyance or resentment like the others. But you rarely had time to speak to him. Rafe was always nearby to interject, send Bear to do a task or find some reason to talk to you. Deep down, you knew Bear was your only friend, but you didn’t know how to get alone with him.

            Downing your glass of water, you picked at your food mindlessly. The other were right though. After doing comms for a week there was nothing out there, no one. At first, you felt it was an important role & were happy to take it. But now, the others & their whispers were getting to you. You pushed your plate further back on the desk, your appetite lost.

            It was midday, the scavengers were expected to return at some point today, as long as everything went according to plan & it usually did. You hoped to sneak some alone time with Bear. And as you thought about it further, Micah, too. Yes, he hated you, that much was clear. His reasoning was ridiculous but you could live with it. However, he was the one who could get you partnered with the scavengers. He had Rafe’s ear. If you got his approval, you didn’t see why it wouldn’t lead to Rafe’s. Scavenging was, after all, a lot more useful than the comms. The others would quit shit talking then.

            You were beginning to doze off in your chair, the sound of white noise acting like a lullaby when it began to cackle & pop. You opened your eyes, confused & staring at the radio. It sounded like when you’re on the phone with someone & they forget to hang up, putting their phone in their pocket. All muffled movement. And then…

            “Come in, hello.” The voice was clear as day before the radio cackled some more, the signal weak.

            You rushed forward, knocking items off the desk in the process. You snatched the walkie connected to the radio.

            “Hello, hello.” You spoke back, your heart pounding. As far as you knew, no one had ever made contact with another on this radio.

            The radio continued to produce only white noise, but just underneath it all, you could make out the muffle of the voice.

            “We—” more white noise.

            “I’m here!” You gasped, grateful to hear others. But with the connection so weak you were fearful you wouldn’t get a location of where they were at.

            “Our connection is weak.” You shared, hoping they could at least hear you better than you them, “Where are you?”

            More muffling. More pops.

            The voice responded but it was too static to make out, the interference strong. You gripped the talkie tighter.

            Then, one word made it through.

            “—of Rockingham.”

            Dropping the walkie, you rolled your chair over to the back wall were a map of North Carolina was pinned, the edges fraying.

            Your eyes rapidly moved over the map. Rockingham. Rockingham.

            There!

            It was 60 miles south of Asheboro, a feasible hour drive. You returned to the desk, your voice frantic with excitement as you spoke into the walkie.

            “Where in Rockingham?”

            The radio only responded with white noise. You asked the question again.

            No. You couldn’t lose them. This was the first sign of life.

            “Hello, I’m losing you.” You shared. But there was no response.

            The radio only returned with it’s usual white noise. You tossed the walkie down in frustration. You had lost them. But it wasn’t all said & done quite yet. Glancing over your shoulder, you eyed Rockingham on the map. The voice had said ‘of Rockingham’. That left a lot to consider. East of Rockingham? West? And if so, how far in either direction? What was their nearest landmark? Or did they mean the Walmart of Rockingham? The precinct? The possibilities were endless. It would be like looking for a needle in a haystack.

            But it was something. The first something any of the group had had in weeks. You wouldn’t be useless. And more so, you could be the one to find them. You only needed to get Micah & Rafe on board.

            Rafe joined you in time for when the scavengers returned. He still wouldn’t trust you alone with them. It aggravated you, but you couldn’t let it show. You needed him to think you were trustworthy.

            As Matt & Robbie passed off boxes & bags of what they found off to Micah & Bear, you & Rafe were in charge of bringing the goods inside. But shortly after you started, Adrianna appeared.

            “Rafe.” She stood in the doorway, her eyes hard, “We need you upstairs. Got a problem.”

            Rafe sighed heavily, “Can it wait? We just got started.”

            “I guess.” She shrugged, “I’ll just tell the others I won’t know how long till the water’s back on.”

            “Shit.” He groaned. It had been a nice surprise to learn that the Mill still had running water. But if they water supply was giving grief, it’d only be a matter of time before a domino effect happened.

            Rafe turned to you, “Keep bringing stuff in, alright?”

            “Yeah, alright.” You nodded. Rafe stepped forward, his hand on your shoulder as he leaned forward to leave a kiss on your temple. You forced a small smile up at him.

            Once Rafe & Adrianna were gone, you went back outside. This was your moment. You had to get Bear alone. You couldn’t trust Rafe with the information about the others. Not yet.

            Micah spotted you first, his expression always one of irritability.

            “Where the fuck is Rafe?”

            You nodded back towards the building, “Had other priorities.”

            “Fuckin’ of course.” Micah mumbled.

            On the ground was a pile of goods. But you wouldn’t be able to carry them all yourself. At the risk of appearing weak, you got Micah’s attention.

            “I’m gonna need help with these.” You gestured to the goods at your feet, “Bear can help me.”

            Micah glared at you, his eyes narrowed. But he ultimately shook his head, “Whatever, just make it fuckin’ fast.”

            Bear stepped away from the other side of Micah, helping you to gather what you could carry. He followed after you as you led him back towards the building. Once you were far enough away, you kept your voice hush.

            “Bear.” You began, “I heard people on the radio.”

            Bear looked at you with wide eyes as he glanced over his shoulder in Micah & the other’s direction.

            “Are you sure?”

            “Yes!” You whispered excitedly. Inside, you felt safer to speak louder. “They’re in Rockingham. Or near it. I’m not sure. The connection was weak.”

            Bear frowned but nodded. You two took your time putting the goods away.

            “We can go.” You told him, “Find them.”

            But Bear slowly shook his head, “That’s not a good idea.”

            Now, it was your turn to frown, “Why not?”

            Bear sighed, looking you deep in the eyes, “Because Rafe’ll kill them.”

            You returned his stare, “I wasn’t talking about Rafe…”

            It was then that Bear seemed to understand what you were saying.

            “You think we should leave?”

            “Yes.” You nodded, checking the window to make sure Micah & the others were still far away. “You & me, we’ll go. Leave here. Join others.”

            “I’m not against that, but…why?”

            “Because Rafe told me how he runs things. How he’s killed people. And I feel like he’s not telling me the whole truth.”

            “What has he told you?” Bear squinted his eyes.

            “Doesn’t matter. I don’t trust him. And he doesn’t trust us, that much is clear. So, I say we make a run for it. Head to Rockingham, see if we can’t find those on the radio. But if anything, at least were gone from here.”

            Bear leaned against the wall, contemplating your words. He nodded.

            “That’ll be tough, ya know. Getting out of here. Rafe keeps it tight.”

            “But you know how he runs things. I don’t. We’ll work together & get out.”

            He stared hard at the ground, “Are you sure, _____? Because if he finds out what we’re planning, there’s no saying what he’ll do.”

            “I know.” You nodded in agreement, “But I’ll feel safer out there with you then with all of them in here.”

            “Alright.” Bear stepped forward, his arms crossed over his chest, “We’ll do it. But we’ll need a solid plan. No fucking up.”

            “I know.”

            “Hey!” You both jumped as Micah suddenly appeared. His flashed between the two of you. “The fuck is taking so long?”

            “Sorry.” You mumbled.

            “Get back out there.” Micah growled. Bear gave you a look, one that said you two would talk later, before leaving the room. You were about to follow behind him when Micah stepped in your way.

            “What the hell were you two just talking about?”

            You eyed him innocently, shaking your head, “Nothing. Bitching, really.”

            “Yeah? About what?” Micah narrowed his eyes, his favorite look to give you.

            “Just life.” You gave a half-hearted smile.

            Micah leaned forward then, his voice low, “At least you have one.”

            The threatening undertone was there. He leaned back, meeting your eyes, “I’d be grateful.”

            “Of course.” Your voice was barely audible. Micah stared at you for a moment longer before finally stepping to the side to allow you to pass.

            You rushed forward, your heart thrumming inside your ribcage. Back outside you resumed loading goods inside but Micah was keeping a close eye on the two of you. It felt like you were back in school after having gotten caught passing notes in class. You were a bad seed. Micah wanted to rip your roots out.

            You were alone, finishing the final bit of unloading when Bear appeared. It was quick, but to the point.

            “He heard us.” Bear began, referencing Micah, “We leave tonight. Meet me in the back alley. There’s a hole in the wall near the room where Rafe kept me. Don’t bring anything with you, it’ll draw his attention.”

            “What?” There was no plan. It would be too dangerous, “But we—”

            “We go or we suffer.” Bear interjected. He was about to leave, in a hurry to not be spotted by Micah but you grabbed his arm.

            “When tonight?”

            Bear sniffed, “It’s gonna rain. You can see it in the clouds. When you hear the first thunderclap, go. I’ll set a distraction.”

            You nodded. Then he was gone.

            You swallowed a lump that was growing in your throat. This was really happening. You & Bear would be leaving. Your hands shook as you put items from the scavenging away.

            “What’s got you spooked?” You jumped slightly at Rafe’s voice behind you.

            Spinning around, you shook your head, “You were right about Micah.”

            Rafe’s eyes hardened at that, “What’d he do?”

            “Nothing.” You replied breathlessly, “Just scared me is all.”

            It was true, but it would also track if Rafe confronted him. He’d be focused on Micah, not you. And that’s what you needed.

            “What’d he do, _____?” He grabbed your elbow gently, but was firm in making you look at him.

            “Just said I should be grateful I have a life.” You mustered a smile, “See? So, nothing bad.”

            Rafe looked away, his eyes wide with fury, “Go upstairs. You’re done for the day. I’ll talk to Micah.”

            “Okay.” You went to move past him but he was still holding you.

            “I’d never let him hurt you, you know that, right?”

            “I do.”

            Rafe nodded then brought you closer. His mouth found yours, his lips warm. You forced yourself to return the kiss. At least you had him in your favor, & you’d be damned if you didn’t take advantage of it.

            “Go, I’ll see you in a bit.”

            With that, you parted from Rafe & walked away, hoping it wouldn’t be too long before you were released from him for good.

            It was dark out. Heavy clouds rolled in & you sat in anticipation on your shared bed with Rafe. He had been gone for a couple hours. You had yet to see him, or Bear even. Your mind was racing at what was about to unfold. Bear said to wait for the first thunderclap, that he would set a distraction. But what kind? You sincerely hoped that with no planning, you would succeed in getting out.

            About twenty minutes later, Rafe finally appeared. He came into the room looking exhausted. You sat up in bed.

            “You okay?”

            He peered at you, giving you a half-smile before nodding, “Yeah, people are just dumbasses, ya know.”

            “Mmm.” You replied wordlessly.

            He approached you on the bed, crawling up it until he was beside you. You allowed yourself to relax as he brought you into his arms.

            “I talked to Micah.”

            That made your heart stop. If Micah did hear like Bear said so, what would he have told Rafe? You were no friend of Micah’s, he would have no reason to protect you.

            “Oh?”

            “Yeah, told him he better quit with the passive aggressive threats or it’ll be his life he’s gotta worry about.”

            You gulped. You didn’t want Micah dead. But it would be better him than you.

            “What else did he say?”

            Rafe sighed heavily, “Just bitched a lot. Nothing for you to worry about. He’ll come around. One day.”

            You hoped you would be long gone if that day ever came.

            Rafe slipped a hand under your arm, maneuvering you until you were situated atop him, straddling his hips. You didn’t like the positioning.

            His hands rubbed up & down your exposed thighs as he stared up at you. Your own hands were mindlessly placed on his stomach.

            “What?” You huffed out, giving an awkward smile.

            “You wouldn’t lie to me, would you?” He asked. Shit. Micah did hear something.

            “No.” You frowned, “Why?”

            “Like I told you before, some people want to drive us apart.”

            You needed him to trust you, to believe you would never betray him. If only for a little while longer.

            “They can’t keep us apart.” You told him, feeling brave enough to lean forward, “We belong together, remember? You told me that.”

            You ran your fingers along his jawline before threading them through his hair.

            “Yeah.”

            But he didn’t look entirely convinced. So, you took it one step further.

            Rafe sighed into your mouth as you kissed him, his hands gripping your thighs. You opened your eyes enough to see that his were closed. He was licked & nipped at your lips, hoping for entrance. You obliged. As his tongue massaged your own, you were suddenly flipped onto your back. Rafe grinded his hips into yours & a pulse shot up your spine.

            It felt wrong. All of it. You unlatched your mouth from his but he continued to kiss your jaw, neck, & shoulder as his hands slipped under your oversized t-shirt. You fluttered your eyes closed, trying to calm your heavy breathing. Rafe would view it as euphoria coming over you, but it was dread.

            He leaned upwards to rip of his own t-shirt before returning his body to yours. He cupped your cheek, making you look at him before he returned to kissing you. Bile rose in your throat but you forced yourself to keep it down.

            Rafe’s hands found the underside of your breasts, his fingers grazing the sensitive skin there. You gasped into the kiss, feeling him smile against your lips. He dragged his hips against yours, his evident arousal hitting your center nearly perfectly. You moaned reluctantly. But he took it as a means to go further.

            Before you could resist, Rafe lifted your top, removing it effectively from your body. You instinctively covered your exposed breasts but Rafe frowned, gently grabbing your wrists, “Nothing I haven’t seen before.”

            Your mind was racing, desperately searching for the memories that would back up his claims. But nothing turned up. Rafe kissed down your neck to the valley between your breasts. Your skin erupted with goosebumps as his mouth hovered over a pert nipple. When his tongue grazed over it, your body pushed up into his touch.

            “God, I’ve missed this.” He shared breathlessly.

            Words failed you, but your body was beginning to respond to his touch. His other hand reached below graze the edge of your underwear.

            No. No, no, no.

            Tears pricked your eyes. Please.

            A clap thunder boomed above, practically shaking the building. You yelped from the loud sound & Rafe’s teeth accidentally nipping your sensitive flesh.

            “Shh, calm down.” Rafe grinned, “It’s only a storm.”

            It was more than that, though. It was your time to go.

            “Rafe.” You pushed backwards, out of his arms, resting against the wall, “I’m not ready.”

            “What?” His hooded, heated gaze shifted into one of frustration, “What the fuck are you talking about?”

            “I’m sorry. It’s not gonna happen overnight.”

            “It’s been more than a night, it’s been a goddamn week!” He raised his voice, making you jump more than the thunder had.

            You stared at him wide-eyed, “I’m sorry, okay? I don’t what else to say.”

            “You don’t have to say anything.” He growled, shaking his head, “You don’t have to do anything. I can do all the work.”

            “What?” The fuck was he getting at?

            Rafe harshly gripped your ankle, dragging you back down the bed, “Nothing I haven’t done already.”

            “Rafe, no!” But he wasn’t listening. He was quick to snatch both your wrists in one hand, holding them above your head as his other hand reached for the button on his jeans.

            You shook violently beneath, trying to throw him off you with your hips but he was bigger than you, stronger, & quite literally, had the upper hand.

            “After everything I’ve done for you!” Rafe hollered as he moved to rip your underwear off, “This is the least you can do for me.”

            A cry tore from your throat as you lied bare before Rafe, your imprisoner.

            But just as he was shoving his jeans down his thighs, a sudden boom sounded, shaking the building. But this wasn’t thunder.

            “What the fuck was that?” Rafe mindlessly let go of your wrists, listening as you both heard panicked screams in the distance.

            “Rafe!” It was Adrianna in the hallway. “Rafe, hurry!”

            “Fuck!” He shouted, shoving himself off the bed, “Fuck, fuck!”

            Hurriedly dressing, Rafe had seemingly forgotten about you on the bed. You took the opportunity to search desperately for your clothes. You managed to get your underwear & t-shirt back on before Rafe focused his attention on you again.

            “You.” He pointed, “Stay here. I’ll be back.”

            You said nothing, your body shaking after what he was just about to do to you.

            “And when I come back,” He approached you, snatching your chin in his hand, “I’ll finish what you started.”

            Tears skipped down your cheeks, your chin quaking in his hold. You ripped your head away from him, but nodded. He didn’t need to know that you wouldn’t be here when he returned.

            Adrianna burst into the room then, her eyes briefly flashing to yours, taking in your state of dress before frowning slightly. Then she looked at Rafe, “There’s a fire out front, I think someone exploded your truck.”

            “Goddamnit! Let’s go.” Tossing you a look of warning, Rafe finally disappeared with Adrianna, the door slamming shut behind him. But then you heard the grinding pop of metal.

            Did he…?

            Racing forward, you tugged on the door. It wouldn’t budge.

            “No!” You banged on the door, pulling uselessly on it, hoping it would give. But it was locked securely.

            “Fuck.” You breathed out. Running to the dresser, you quickly slipped into a pair of jeans before throwing a pair of boots on. You grabbed a jacket folded over the back of a chair & slung an empty backpack over your arms. You couldn’t just sit here & wait. You still had to try.

            Another clap of thunder boomed above followed by the sound of heavy rain pelting against the windows. Rushing to windows, you cranked one open, the metal rusting as you did. You groaned painfully as you mustered all your strength to get it all the way open. Rain pelted you in the face, quickly soaking your hair as you leaned out. Rafe’s room faced the back alley where Bear would be.

            Leaning out, your looked up & down the alley but it was difficult to make anything out. It was too dark, rain was getting in your eyes, your hair was whipping you in the face.

            “Bear!” You screamed but you knew it wouldn’t carry against the rage of the storm.

            But then, at the mouth of the alleyway, you saw a figure. Bear. He was too far away to hear you.

            “Fuck, Bear!” You yelled again, but no luck. He wasn’t even looking in your direction.

            Panicking, you begun to look for anything outside the window you could use to scale down on. But there was nothing, no piping, no grips in the brick that would make getting down easier, no fire escape. Besides, in the chaos of the storm you’d likely fall anyway. But perhaps that’s what you had to do to get away.

            You peered down in the dark. It was only two stories. But it wasn’t the typical two stories. The walls were taller here. You’d at least have to jump two & a half to get down. But you had to. Without giving yourself to think on it, you gripped the center of the window, carefully leveraging yourself to swing your legs out.

            “Bear!” You screamed once more, hoping he would hear you. But as you peered through the darkness you watched as he took off around the corner. Away from the mill. He had waited for you. He couldn’t wait any longer, Rafe & the others would find him & kill him. You had to be quick if you were going to catch up to him.

            Breathing fast, you felt yourself stiffen, you needed to jump. Now! Before Rafe came back, before Bear was in the wind. Jump, _____! Jump! NOW!

            A scream ripped from your throat as you launched yourself out the window. The ground came fast, too fast, & you hit it, landing on your feet, but your ankles gave out & you collapsed to the ground.

            “Ahh, fuuuuck!” You screeched, reaching down to hold your ankles. They were pulsing. But you had to go. Heaving yourself up, you tested your ankles. They were sore, tender, likely having twisted them, but you couldn’t let that stop you. Limping, you began to move as fast as you could toward the end of the alley where you had last seen Bear.

            Please, don’t be far.

            You continued hobbling, desperate to get as far away as possible before Rafe discovered you were gone. You had just made it to the mouth of the alleyway, looking in the direction that Bear took off it. It was towards the woods. You had to get there fast.

            But just as you started limping in that direction, voices sounded behind you. The loudest was Micah’s. And it was growing closer. There was a few dumpsters to your left & you were quick to dive in between them, desperately hoping that the darkness would shield you from murderous intent.

            You tugged your legs to your chest, pressing yourself as much as you could against the brick. Micah’s voice was getting closer. Another voice joined his. Rafe’s.

            The storm continued to boom & flash & whip about, making it difficult for you to hear as their footfalls grew closer. And by the time you could, it was already too late.

            A bright light blinded you, forcing you to whine as you shieled your eyes from the flashlight.

            An impressed whistle came from behind the flashlight, “Well, look what I found.”

            The flashlight lowered & Micah stood before you, a deadly grin on his face.

            “I told you, man. Her & Bear were up to no good.”

            Rafe appeared then as he spotted you. The heavy rain had his hair stuck to his forehead. Another clap of thunder sounded followed by a bolt of lightning that lit up the alleyway. In that brief moment, you saw the look in Rafe’s eyes. And the wrath you saw there rivaled the storm.

            This was it for you. That much you accepted quickly. But you hoped Bear got away. But hope, as you knew, was a silly thing to cling to.

alright, the second to last plot turn Rise will take before finishing strong.

as always, please share your thoughts with me via commenting, reblogging w reviews, or dropping an ask. don't leave ya girl hanging, i love to hear your thoughts!

thank you for reading!

beau<3

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#dark!rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron #dark!rafe cameron x reader #dark!fic #dark!fanfiction #rafe cameron fanfiction #outer banks fanfiction #non con fic #dark!outer banks #rise chapter fifteen

[erros429]

why are you calling farcille sapphic representation when they aren’t even canon

had a very lengthy internal debate with myself on whether i wanted to answer this with an essay or say something short like “because i’m sapphic and they represent me.” but you guys can have the essay too.

i’d like to preface this by saying that i understand where you’re coming from. explicit lgbt+ representation is so deeply important and queer characters in media needs to be normalized instead of tokenized so that queer viewers can feel like there is a world that accepts them and that they can belong in.

HOWEVER. this does not also mean that queercoding and subtext should be devalued, especially given how ingrained it is in queer culture and media. historically, when it was a lot more dangerous to show a character as queer without villainizing them in some way, subtext was all a queer viewer could have. but it’s because of those small hints (see: the legend of korra) that we could have popular media that unabashedly shows queer love. however, even that representation has been stifled, either by only allowing the queer love to be shown in the end (see: adventure time, she-ra, and voltron) or by straight up canceling the show itself (see: the owl house, warrior nun, i am not okay with this, sense8, and first kill).

now let’s get into the actual discussion of farcille. more often than not, shipping arises more from seeing the buildup of a couple rather than when they actually get into a relationship. and this goes for any ship, not just queer ones. but you’re not questioning me on shipping farcille, you’re questioning that i called them sapphic representation without them actually being canon (and therefore they can’t be considered representation).

however, i wholeheartedly think that farcille cannot be read as anything other than romantic, and i genuinely believe that (MANGA SPOILERS) they’d pursue a relationship post-canon, now that falin is un-chimera’d and marcille has a less anxious attachment style to the people she loves. dungeon meshi doesn’t focus on romance whatsoever, and there honestly wouldn’t be any time to show romance anyway because neither character was in a position to be ready for one, so the only appropriate moment would be post-canon.

and that’s where the importance of subtext comes in. ryoko kui’s storytelling relies heavily on her audience’s media literacy skills. though laios is never explicitly stated as autistic, his character is written in such an exquisite way, that any viewer could easily guess what she was trying to represent there. i would 100% consider him to be autistic representation, even without him saying it in-text. now why shouldn’t i be allowed to extend that same logic to farcille being sapphic representation? all the tell-tale queercoding signs are there, just like all the tell-tale autistic-coding is present in laios. i don’t need the two girls to kiss to be aware of how utterly devoted and in love they are with each other.

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #dunmeshi #farcille #long post #not to make this about rwby but also this is me and i make everything about rwby #this reminds me a lot of pre-v9 bumbleby discourse as well. and how it was considered queerbaiting before it even got the chance to be cano #even though it was very clearly the direction that they were going #asks #anon

[web-kindle]

!MASSIVE FOOLIVERSE RAMBLE! Read at your own peril!

Congratulations Erik! 🎊🥳🎊

You have successfully made me care more about the Fooliverse than ANY canon storyline you've currently got going on rn (Except for Hush and Vega, I'm still very invested in that). Forget the Balance, forget Sovereign State, forget the currently kinda stagnant DAMN storyline, I need more Fooliverse Lore! (Note: mildly hyperbolic, I do want Erik to push major storylines, but with the new schedule they're gonna take ages)

Like each character we've gotten so far have been so fun, but with them comes so many questions about the universe around them. For example (this is your final chance to escape, its a long one):

What's the rest of the DAMN crew like? Are they all complete opposites of their canon counterparts, and if not what stays the same. Gavin although quiet and submissive, still very much enjoys sex and partaking in it when he wants like in canon. So what about the others? Is Huxley less friendly in this AU, is he rude or just an actual loner that gave up on making real friends? Is he smarter or still a bit goofy? What about Lasko and Damien, what are their differences? Is Damien a member of staff or is Lasko a really extroverted student? Where's Kody in all this? Is he still a mild extremist or is he actually a cool dude? Maybe he's a jock unlike Huxley??? Like I'M SO INVESTED!

What's going on with the rest of the Rebaine Clan? Where was Marie when Milo's dad drunk himself to death and Milo got lost in the system? Was she an absent mother or was she just not related to Milo at all? Is she in the Rebaine Clan or is she the Queen of a Clan of her own? Where. Are. The Solaires?!?! I have to know if Vincent is still a human who survived The Surge and is just living life, or never got on in the first place. Did he ever meet Lovely, did he die on The Surge and not get saved? Was he born a Vamp, turned by William still, or someone else? Is William a minor Duke or something or still a King but not as important? What about being one of those High Council Vamps Milo mentioned? Is he even around? We know Porter is, like did Demetri save him, get Porter indebted to him, or was Porter born a Vamp and just joined the Clan??? And how close is the Clans relationship with the Talbot Pack. Like yeah their friends of the Clan, but to the same level as in canon, or more? Or less? We know Asher is more serious in this AU being the Alpha, so what's his relationship with Milo??? Are they close friends, or reluctant allies on a personal level? IS MILO STILL SHORT?!?! These are the questions we need answered

James we know is a stoner and that he doesn't see himself as a good person. Is he still part of ETS, doing stuff that doesn't sit well with him to the point he smokes to get away? Does he even have a job currently? Why does he feel like he's not a good/kind person? What did he do? Maybe it's just his personality this AU... But if James isn't part of ETS and Anton is in the Pack, who's running Project Meridian? Is the project even needed, cause if the Miridian is OK in this AU, maybe the company that would do it is just sticking to normal science projects (whatever that means). Where's Marcus in all this, is he still a weirdo, but in a different font? Maybe he's just a dude too, living life, or maybe Asset is just a person and they actual love Marcus and they live together with no issues... GOD this is so unfair that I don't know 😫

And more on Anton, we know he is a member of the Talbot Pack. It's cute he's so fun and carefree, not wondering when he'll see his Love again. He's flourishing in the Talbot Pack! I'm guessing he's just an ordinary member, but is he part of security (if the Pack still does that) or does he do his own thing. Maybe he's a stay-at-home partner, I wonder if he's still responsible somewhat to maintain the house easily or if he's completely a menace on that front.

What. Happened. To. Guy??? Cause why's my Guy so depressed? Is he still sharing an apartment with Mikayla, but Honey isn't there, so its sapping him of all his happiness? Did he confess but Honey was like "nah" and he's completely defeated in life. Maybe Guy tried to do more with his writing degree but it's not working out and him delivering pizza on the size is really knocking his motivation? What if he's just like that and things are a-ok overall. Maybe he barely reacted to Anton' wolf for cause he knows about magic (accidently or not) and is completely disillusioned about life cause "why are things still shit if magic exists" so he just doesn't care??? You can't leave me hanging like this Erik!!!

More on the Pack, DAVID IS OPENLY CALLED DAVEY! First, that's so fucking cute as hell, but I gotta know is it an inside joke, did Angel push for this, or maybe is naturally evolved and David doesn't mind anyone calling him that. Curious to see which one it is. We at least know based on his personality he's not highly likely to hate on it. Secondly, HIS DAD'S ALIVE (and seems to call his son for tech help lol). That's so sweet! ☺️ Shows how different he would be with his dad still around. And finally, damn he's such a sweetheart, and Angel is still a menace but a grumpy one instead. Its hot how he wants them to take the lead, begs for it even.

Overall love how cute he is in this, makes me question what his dynamic would be interacting with Milo in this universe. In fact, I wanna see more of his and Asher's best friend relationship in this AU. With their personalities, I feel like it would be really chill. Anyway, who is the Beta? It's not Davey and it doesn't seem to be Anton, so who is it? Maybe, it actually is Darlin like some people have been theorising. (Oh god Where's Sam in all this???) Or maybe Christian, which also makes me guess what the dynamic between him and Asher is like. Maybe it's not so different to his canon interactions with Alpha David.

And a side note, Alpha Asher just can't catch a break, it's like being the Alpha of this Pack curses you to be gruff and broody no matter what universe it happens in. At least no one close to him has actually died or something like in The Imperium. Unless if one or both of his parents died for him to become a grumpy Alpha!!! Who knows, its up for headcannon to decide. Mildly bummed out that we don't get a full vid or even an Asher cameo in this AU. A few references on his seemingly responsible lifestyle and kinda gruff character by other people is not enough. GIVE ME MORE OF THE FOOLIVERSE PUPPY!!! (Respectfully)

If you got to the end I sincerely apologise, you shouldn't have done that, but know you know the thoughts that have plagued my brain about this AU. Whilst there were some lighthearted demands in there just know they were all made in good faith and is just an indicator of how much I've enjoyed this AU. Its honestly been so fun and I hope it gets a comeback in some way.

Now it's time to bet on who the BAs gonna be about next month!

#kindling thoughts #like severely #its a lot #redacted audio #redacted asmr #massive ramble #redactedverse #redacted fooliverse #redacted fandom

[calif0rniahighwb1ll]

Omg hi!! I was wondering if you could write maybe something will bill in like 2007-2009 with a girlfriend that's in the band? The rest of the band know they are together but the public doesn't know until they slip up(there was already signs but nothing was confirmed) and all the fan girls figure out , and they are already don't like the reader because shes a girl in a band with 4 guys, how would this affect their relationship?

I don't really request so I didn't know how to word this sorry

-🍰💫

ofc!! I hope that I understood your request correctly and that it turned out how you wanted! <3 ( this is btw my first ever fanfic on tumblr, so if there are any writing mistakes, I apologize 😭 english isn’t my fist language, but I’ll try my best!)

Complications

„How do you do that?“ I asked genuinely interested the twin brother of my boyfriend, who was just playing something on his guitar again. He smiled at me. „Years of practice,“ he explained, whereupon I started laughing. I would probably never learn an instrument, I was just too impatient for that.

Warm hands suddenly wrapped around my hip and I immediately knew who it was. My cheeks had received a visible pink tone and my lips twisted into a grin. I felt Bill’s breath on my neck, which he kissed lightly. „Where have you been, babe? I missed you,“ he mumbled, whereupon I had to giggle and went through his spiky, soft hair with my hand. I wondered every time, how his hair could withstand all the chemicals contained in the dyes and all the cans of hairspray.

I looked into his pretty, brown eyes. “Where I have been? Where have you been! I missed you as well.” I said grinning. He lifted an eyebrow and a little smile appeared on his face. “I was running away from screaming girls and flashing cameras, just a normal day.” He said, sighing a little. Tom made a weird sound, which made my head turn into his direction. He was looking at us.

“Well, you guys know that you can’t hide your relationship forever. Sooner or later, it will come out. They will always find out.” Tom said with a little concern in his voice. My stomach twisted in an uncomfortable way and I shared a look with bill. I was pretty aware of that and I knew, that it was just a matter of time until everyone will know about our little secret.

“I know, but as long as we can, we will keep it undercover.” Bill said and I nodded in agreement. “I think that you’ll can’t do that for long anymore. They’re already signs.” Tom said and grabbed a newspaper from this morning. He handed it too bill and Bill opened the paper to find the article about the rumors. I looked too and there it was. It wasn’t so large so it didn’t got much attention, but it was still there.

„Frontman of Tokio Hotel was seen suspiciously close with the star-girl of the band! Could there be a possible relationship between the two? Does it affect the band? ...“ The article was not very long, but it was still visible and you immediately saw, that it was Bill Kaulitz in the photos. I was only seen from behind and my face was not great to see, yet we were close to each other. Slowly I shook my head and looked desperately at Bill, who seemed thoughtful.

„Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if we just dissolved it,“ I said, staring deep into the eyes of Bill, who also now looked at mine. He pulled his eyebrows together. „Yes, probably, but it’s not that easy. I don’t want to drag you in there.“ His voice seemed worried and slightly anxious, which immediately made my chest tighter. My hand found his cheek, which I gently stroked.

„Hey, everything will be fine, I’m sure of it. You don’t have to worry, Bill. I have you, I know you will always take care of me. You’ll see, everything will go great as soon as everyone knows!“ I said cheeringly, but Bill’s half smile he gave me didn’t reach his eyes.

My heart raced and I felt Bill’s hand holding mine tight. The black sunglasses only protect a little from the violent lightning storm, which took us from all sides. The next day had begun and our „little secret“ was no longer so small. Reporters stood on every corner, asking unpleasant questions that we avoided.

Bill kept looking down at me to make sure I was okay, but I was already used to it. I have been part of the band for two years now and since I joined the band in 2006, I have already been included in the world of the band.

„Just look! There’s his girlfriend!“ Suddenly screamed a girl, who had stood between the reporters and now behind her a huge crowd of fans came towards us. Fear spread in me and I now clung to Bill’s arm, who now also took faster steps. He bent down to me, which only made the snapping of the cameras louder.

„Don’t panic, we’re almost there,“ he said gently, which calmed me down a little, but still did not completely free me from the nervousness that was spread throughout my body. The last steps were now taken and we all quickly rushed through the door of the studio.

The first preparations for the new album were sue, which is why we had a lot to do and thus spent a lot of time in the studio. Bill sighed with relief when he took off his sunglasses and looked at me. I did the same. His hands now held my face, which immediately captivated me. „I love you,“ he whispered and now pulled me closer to let his lips dance passionately on mine. We ignored everything and it was nice until Tom’s call brought us to the here and now.

„Stop!“ He called and came up to us to pull us apart. Bill stared at his brother stunned and was just about to say something, but I put my hand on his mouth to stop him. It was dead silence.

„Bill,“ I whispered and took my hand from his mouth. „What-“ he stopped his sentence, when he looked in the same direction as me. A group of girls, all with their cameras, had caught us. In addition, a larger group of reporters. My shocked look was found by Bill, but he was exactly the opposite of me. He didn’t look shocked or scared. He looked rather relaxed and calm.

„It’s in the news.“ it now came from Georg, who had turned on the TV in the meantime. Goosebumps spread on my body and my hands found my face. „Shit.“ I murmured and now felt Bill’s cold hands, gently enclosed my hands and freed them from my face. A smile lay on his lips, which left me confused.

„Fuck it,“ he said, his eyes sparkled just like his black hair, which smoothly framed his head. „Everyone should know that you are all mine and I belong to you. From my sight, the whole world can find out! I stand by you and I think we should stop hiding our feelings. They will understand it sooner or later,“ Bill said and stroked his thumb over my open lips. He was right.

I blushed. „That was really sweet,“ I said smiling, which made him give me a toothy grin. He came closer and pulled me into a long kiss again. This time it didn’t matter that all the fan girls were still glued to the window and photographed and filmed every inch of our kiss, because we were no longer interested in the opinion of others. It only counted him and me, everything else was unimportant and I will proudly present, how much he means to me.

#tokio hotel #bill kaulitz #fanfic #writers on tumblr #new fanfic #2000s #2008 #first story

[taylortruther]

yeah I don’t believe Matty was this long simmering through line in her work. He showed up at a point where he was kind of easy to project on to and embody things she wanted regardless of how realistic some or all of those traits were.

agreed.

i think about how i had a friend while i was still in my ltr. as i was gathering the courage to break up with my ex, i created this whole fantasy that i should be with this friend instead, and i was CONVINCED this guy would jump at the chance to be in a relationship with me. and when we hooked up (after my breakup, to be clear), i said we should date and he told me no! not just that, but he regretted hooking up and we couldn't tell anyone, because he was friends with my ex AND he had just started dating someone else that he really liked. and he married her 5 months later. LIKE WHAT LMAO

this was such a mindfuck for me because i am normally so in control and rational about my feelings. multiply this situation by other factors: a ltr that was 7 years, where you'd once planned on marriage and kids... an old flame who was intense and intoxicating (bleh) and knew you were about to leave was convincing you he'd give you what you wanted... HATE.

#sorry i'm sure y'all are tired of me projecting my breakup onto this #ttpd

[deluweil]

Based on the shows history with Eddie, I’m not expecting the Abuela and Shannon pop ups to do anything more then propel him into the find new wife for himself and new mother for Chris mission successful. Especially with Edy still on set and them almost being done with the season. Why bother going for a better story when a lazy makes no sense hetero story will do just fine. It’s their specialty when it comes to Eddie after all. Plus They already got that extra queer rep with Buck and Tommy 🙃

Yeah, *sigh* I feel the same on the Eddie front.

God forbid the talent that is Ryan will get a worthy story when we get two white dudes getting the interesting storylines.

I mean, much as love Buck being thrown into curious situations, I am getting tired of the storylines Eddie keep getting, because that's always more of the same, and that's exhausting.

If they weren't going to invest in his story they could have tied him to the first gf he had - being the serial monogamist that he is - and have his storyline revolve around domestic problems, new babies and managing that with work - at least we'd be clear of what his essence is aside from loving Buck like they've been married and intimate for years.

They had that queer rep with Henren and David and Michael - which WAS a great rep and such a well written relationship! I miss them and Michael's interactions with Bobby are sorely missing as well.

I don't think that Buck's storyline is as happy and healthy as ppl make it to be, Tommy literally left him for feeling uncomfortable and fibbing in front of his best friend because he's newly minted out of the closet and maybe he wanted to figure this out by himself first before sharing it with the people closest to him?

Tommy had no right to get upset, and if he wasn't sure of them, he shouldn't have agreed to go to that wedding with Buck, he should have said that he understands where Buck is coming from and to take this slow and that there is no pressure - and maybe keep this friendly until they figure out what they want to be together.

Buck, it felt to me, that has done what he did, the chasing that he said he wouldn't do, because in a certain way he is still in a place where he pleases people even though it is his journey to make and no one should push him to get to that finish line as fast as possible.

Like I said before this is more of the same, Buck does this chasing because like Taylor said, and not in a kind way mind you, that he can't stand not being liked by everyone.

Eddie nudging him to call tommy wasn't exactly the best thing either, because would Buck have still done it if he wasn't told to?

A lot of things don't sit well with me in this story, I've made journeys with my friends when they first came out, one as early as the seventh grade, it is not something that becomes normal immediately, I also saw after the fact what happened when one is shoved out of the closet to his family and friends by force. And how my best friend still bears the guilt of being gay almost 20+years later because that's not how he was raised, and his father didn't accept him, and his first serious boyfriend was a demanding asshole.

He didn't seem like this to us, he was friendly and seemed like a really good guy, but neither one of us knew what really happened there until my friend opened up about it years later.

So when I say Buck's story feels rushed, I talk from experience.

So maybe we have queer rep (which we had before only it wasn't bi) but it doesn't feel like quite there to me, maybe it's the flawed writing, maybe that's the way it was intended to be told to get to some kind of turning point and epiphanies, who knows? I've learned not to expect higher purpose from this show.

I will tell you that though, if the whole Eddie story is to push him to somehow marry M I will retire from this show, I mean that is the laziest form of writing there is, and makes this show completely unwatchable for me, because there is no way we were dragged 7 seasons just so that Eddie can force marry some lukewarm LI out of the need to follow the traditional hetero normative need he was raised into.

Especially since originally Eddie was the one who was supposed to be the coming out story, it would be disappointing on so many levels and I'm not even touching buddie here.

Ryan deserves better than to end with that kind of crappy story-telling.

#911 ask #911 spoilers #911 speculation #evan buckley #eddie diaz #flawed writing #lukewarm relationships #so done with those #buddie #not anti bucktommy but not pro so far either #it doesn't feel healthy

[lurkingshan]

Your list of ride or die couples is iconic and has so many of my faves, flower of evil bad buddy it's okay that's love lighter and princess one spring night like yes give me a show where the entire story is two individuals willing to take on the world together and for each other, it's my favorite dynamic and we don't get a lot of it especially in heterosexual couples. You have amazing taste and I would take any other suggestions you have of the same dynamic.

Hi anon! Thank you for the kind words, I do agree that I have amazing taste. :) The Ride or Die list is specifically about drama couples who we get to see be in a confirmed romantic relationship for at least half of the drama's run, with their relationship development the primary focus of the plot. I think of them as battle couples; they face challenges together and stay loyal even when they struggle. There actually are not that many of these in dramaland, which is why they are so precious to me and why I hold them close.

That said, since I wrote that post I do think we have gotten a few more entries for the list, so here are some additional recs for you:

Won and Sarang, King the Land

(S Korea, Netflix)

It was getting salty about fan reaction to this show that inspired the Ride or Die list in the first place, and I am happy to report that when it finished its run, these two were still a rock solid couple. This drama is entirely about their relationship and we get lots of time with them as an established couple getting to know each other and settling into a great relationship. I love it and will stab anyone who says it's boring.

Ten and Prem, Cooking Crush

(Thailand, YouTube)

Ten and Prem, my beloveds! These two meet, start liking each other, and move into dating in relatively short order, and the back half of the show has them navigating a slew of external conflicts that would normally result in a lot of breakups and false starts. But not for them! They slay every relationship demon via the power of communication.

Maki and Haruta, Ossan's Love Returns

(Japan, Gagaoolala)

This one comes with a caveat that this is technically a sequel season, and the first one would very much not qualify them for this list. But you don't have to watch that first season if you don't want to, and in this return they are a couple the entire time and there is just so much time spent on them navigating their relationship and facing every day life challenges. They're an extremely charming pair.

Yuanzhou and Ruyi, A Journey to Love

(China, iQIYI)

The most literal battle couple on this list, we have ourselves an assassin and spy master pair here. They meet, she decides he's the perfect baby daddy specimen, and a hilarious pursuit begins. These two get together remarkably early for a cdrama and face just so many trials and tribulations, phew. But they face them together in their color coded costumes and look amazing doing it. CW: the plot is basically about them and a band of buds leading a suicide mission so, uh, there will be many deaths, and their ending can be read as ambiguous but IMO is actually quite a happily ever after in context.

Achi and Karan, Cherry Magic Thailand

(Thailand, Viu)

Karan and Achi are so into each other it's embarrassing, and we get to see them build and deepen and maintain their relationship every step of the way. This one is a little harder to watch--you will need a VPN if you're not in Thailand--but so worth the effort, trust me. And you may recognize this actor pair from the main list, because they are in fact the same beautiful faces behind Pete and Kao of Dark Blue Kiss. Congratulations to Tay Tawan and New Thitipoom for being the only actors who have achieved the honor of making the coveted Ride or Die list twice.

#king the land #cooking crush #ossan's love returns #a journey to love #cherry magic th #shan recommends #shan answers

[icarus-does-fall]

It's short an stupid but it fixed the brainrot <3

The hannigram fic idea that suddenly started rotting in my brain<33

I love these two crazy mfers a totally normal and reasonable amount

Somewhere in season 2 ig but like also just sorta an AU lmao

I need hannigram domestic bliss (except they're still crazy<3)

.𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤. .𝆤࿙࿙࿚๋࿙࿚ ⊱♡⊰ ࿙࿚๋࿙࿚࿚𝆤.

Will had once again been arrested and then set free because of over lying factors. It was becoming something of a pattern with Will being framed and then coincidently let go because another killer took the fall.

Hannibal, was of course the one still setting up Will, afterall he did stab Will only to moments later confess his love, but he'd be damned if other people kept saving *his* boy.

It was clear these two had a… problematic relationship but Hannibal knew how to be domestic on occasion, and these were one of those occasions.

After stabbing Will and begging for forgiveness while confessing his love, he immediately fled to Italy. Not long after did Will find him, they always knew where the other was. *Somehow*.

So of course Will found himself in Hannibals Italian Villa and one morning Hannibal and Will ended up in the kitchen together, Hannibal was cooking breakfast and Will was being a casual menace.

“William, please put the knives down, I need them to dice the chives.”

“Or I keep holding them, and try to stab you when you get too close.”

Hannibal sighed and continued to prep the needed ingredients for breakfast. “I have already apologized for that, must you keep it over my head forever?”

“No I don't have to, but it's nice seeing you squirm with guilt every time I mention it. More convenient than a gun this early in the morning too.” :3

Hannibal merely gave Will a slightly annoyed look as he took the Knife out of his hands and then kissed Will on the nose before going back to finish breakfast. Will bluescreenned for a moment, while yes Hannibal had admitted his feelings open affection from the man was still a strange concept.

“You're an impossible puzzle to solve Will.”

“Yeah- Anyway whats for breakfast?”

“We have caramelized french toast with a mixed berry compote for your child like behaviours, and I have a fiddlehead omelet with bacon and a homemade salsa.”

“That sounds- Hey wait a minute, I'm not childlike! I'm an FBI agent who have taken care of himself the majority of his life.”

“William, you point a gun at me whenever you want to get your way and pout whenever you remember your dogs are still in the states without you. Furthermore you pout whenever you don't get your way.”

To even further prove Hannibals point, Will pouted as his behaviours were pointed out one by one. The down side of living with and liking a psychiatrist, you tend to get psychoanalysied without your permission.

“Just shut up and make your breakfast already-”

Hannibal smiled smugly as he turned back towards the stove. A few minutes later breakfast was done and plated, Will sat at the bar, causing Hannibal to scowl from his place at the table. He mightve been a cannibal but he still had table manners.

Hannibal silently glared at Will, trying to will Will into sitting at the table. It eventually worked but not in the way Hannibal wanted. Instead of sitting nicely Will was sitting cross legged in one of the chairs and was breaking almost every table etiquette rule there was. But at least he was at the table.

“William…”

“I haven't done anything!”

His eyes narrowed. “Are you quite positive about that William?”

“Uh… yes?”

Hannibal nodded disapprovingly and continued to eat in silence, now Will wasn't nervous per say but he definitely was a little on edge from Hannibals reactions. Knowing his luck he'd end up with an ear in his mouth again while he slept.

Besides that one incident the two had a fairly calm and casual morning. Will did the dishes as Hannibal cleaned the table, after the chores were done the two ended up on the couch together watching some nature documentary that Will liked.

“You know this isn't going to last forever right? If I found you Jack is eventually gonna show up at the door too-”

Hannibal nodded, absent-mindedly pulling Will in closer to his side. “I am well aware of Jack Crawford's efforts to find me but I have ways to delay the inevitable for now.”

Will was about to say something else but Hannibal cut him off with a kiss, even going as far to bite down on Wills lip until it bled- The might have started to be a little more than civil but that didn't mean Hannibal didn't have issues anymore.

A gasp and a soft moan slipped past his lips as Hannibal kissed and bit him. Yet he returned the kiss with a similar fever leading to him tugging on Hannibals shirt, only to then he pulled away from.

A coy looking Hannibal smiled as he looked at Wills flushed face. “Don't get carried away now William, we still have a documentary to finish watching.”

#hannibal nbc #nbc hannibal #hannigram #hannibal lecter #will graham #nbc hannigram #bro gets called ✨️William✨️ #gay

[themetaphorgirl]

where I've been

hello friends! it's me!

I know my presence has been really hit or miss over the past year and change. if you want the short version, life has just been really tough, but I'm at the point where I really want to feel like life feels more normal again, which includes writing and posting and being more active.

if you'd like the deluxe edition of what's been going on, I do feel like I want to share what's been happening. it's been really rough and the next steps are only going to be more difficult, so knowing I have friends rooting for me will really help.

you don't have to read if you don't want to, it's kind of a bummer! the biggest takeaway is that I've been going through a garbage time but I want to start writing regularly again, so hopefully you'll see a lot more of me moving forward.

everything else below the cut!

tw: pregnancy, pregnancy loss

okay so. y'all know I got married in December 2022 (and we are still very happily married!!). we've known from the getgo that we want a family, but hadn't quite pulled the trigger.

well, there was another situation that happened that made me realize that I really wanted to start trying now, but it also unlocked a really deep trauma. when I was 23 I was in a really horrible relationship, and I got pregnant. and I ended up miscarrying pretty early on. and I got zero support. that's the short version.

I ended up, I guess for my own sanity, blocking it out. there's big gaps in my memory that just. don't exist. and for a long time I told myself it didn't happen. later, when I acknowledged that it did happen, I told myself that it was for the best, that I would have been a bad mother at that point in my life, that I would have had to maintain contact with my ex, that it just wasn't the right time and it was a good thing that I lost my baby.

the problem was I never grieved. I never healed. it was all just locked away and festering and killing me slowly.

so I ended up spending a good part of last year grieving and trying to deal with pain that I should have dealt with years ago. which...let me tell you, it's a rough process.

and at the same time, I realized that I wanted to start trying. my whole life I've wanted to be a mom. I've wanted five kids for as long as I can remember. Every time I pictured the future I pictured children. And I didn't want to wait anymore. which...is extra complicated to start that process when you're also in the midst of unpacking trauma.

and as you might have guessed...I'm not pregnant yet.

I'm very lucky that my work has a great medical program and they don't have waiting periods to see fertility specialists, so I started seeing doctors last April. And there's nothing wrong. I've done bloodwork, I've done ultrasounds, I've done so many tests, Shane has been tested. We've done three medicated cycles with trigger shots. They can't find anything wrong. They keep shrugging and saying that it's just the matter of the right time.

Unexplained infertility is a bitch.

It's so painful. It's so unfair. And because of my job I'm constantly doing orders for pregnancy announcements and gender reveals and baby's first Christmas. I cannot tell you how many times I've run to the bathroom to cry because I just can't handle being surrounded by reminders that I'm not anybody's mother yet.

I'm currently on cycle 17 of trying. which. that on its own hurts so much. s e v e n t e e n.

we have to hold off on starting the next steps because Shane lost his job (which is another absolutely insane stressor) but he's in a new job that he loves and pays better, and I'm getting a referral for a new clinic for a second opinion. but it looks like we're going to move forward with IVF.

I'm very very lucky that my work will pay for a significant amount towards IVF, but there's still payments we have to make, so we're working on getting our ducks in a row. and it's a terrifying prospect. medications and egg retrieval (my first surgery ever) and transfers. and the crippling fear that they won't get enough eggs or none of them will fertilize or the transfer won't be successful. it's eating me away. I've been feeling like such a shell of myself, every failed cycle feels like another piece of me has faded away.

right now I'm trying to focus on getting myself in as healthy as a place as possible, emotionally and physically, before we start procedures. am I still hoping that I'll get pregnant without IVF? oh, desperately. but at this point, nearly a year and a half into trying, this is probably going to be our best bet.

so moving forward, I'm hoping I can start doing things that make me happy again. I've spent most of the past year and a half being incredibly depressed and not really doing anything other than laying around in bed. I did discover Lockwood & Co thanks to Maeve, and that's helped so much because it gave me something new to think about and fixate on (and write for), but it's still been rough and sporadic. which, actually, is a good describer of how the past year has gone. I need to get back into living again.

in the meantime thank you for everybody who's checked in on me, especially QuiddoDitto. I haven't really had the energy to message back, but I've seen the comments and messages and it's meant so much to me while I slog through this.

hopefully things will get better soon! hopefully I start feeling like a person again! hopefully I'll be writing and posting regularly because I miss it!

and hopefully there'll be a baby in my arms soon.

#Caitlin’s real life

[imzadi-caskett-huddy]

It Started With a Kiss (4/?)

Thanks so much to everyone for continuing to follow this story, and for all the kind words! I know you guys don’t like what’s going on with the Josh storyline. But trust me...I promise you…I will never write a fic where Beckett ends up with Josh…so just show a little patience, and I promise he will go away.

This chapter deals with the episodes “Setup” and “Countdown.” I’m going ahead and combining them, because when I view the episodes, I basically view them as one story, even though it is a 2-parter. The original airdate for “Setup” was Feb 21, so it takes place only about a week after the last chapter in the timeline.

I still don’t own Castle…

xxxxx

It had been a week since Valentine’s Day…since she’d given in to her desires and kissed him. She had known better; she normally had much better control of herself than that. She didn’t know what she had been thinking; or more accurately, she hadn’t allowed herself to think it through or second guess her actions at all…that was the problem. She couldn’t believe she had done something so…so…juvenile. Thank goodness his daughter had come home when she did, or Kate didn’t know how far she might have gone that night.

In the days since the kiss, neither of them had brought it up. In fact, it had been pretty light on murders, so Castle had barely been at the precinct; he was never one for paperwork. That suited her just fine now; when he was there, she was always careful to make sure she wasn’t alone with him in any kind of setting that wasn’t entirely professional. When they were working, her comments were strictly professional.

She could tell he wanted to bring it up to talk, but she never gave him the chance, and thankfully, he followed her lead. She preferred to keep her work life and her personal life separate; it was easier for her to compartmentalize that way. And it had worked up until now. But Castle…her feelings for Castle, and his feelings for her…blurred the line between her personal and professional worlds because he touched both aspects of her life, and it was no longer simply a physical attraction between them. Then there was Josh…Castle had witnessed her fighting with Josh in the precinct…somewhere she wouldn’t have normally had the argument with him, but the doctor had showed up and insisted on talking to her anyway.

And then there was this case…this case, which currently had her trapped in a hazmat tent with Castle, who was freaking out a little bit about a nuclear bomb after her radiation detector had maxed out. This was not the way her life was supposed to go. She found herself wondering, and not for the first time that week, how the hell she had ended up in such a mess.

“Castle, we don’t know that it’s a bomb,” she tried to reassure him. But of course, she knew that he could very well be right. Her detector had maxed out…that was never a good sign. But at

least one of them needed to try to remain calm, and as a cop, clearly that was going to have to be her.

“Well, we will in that nanosecond before it goes off and we’re vaporized,” he countered. “I’m sorry…it’s just the writer in me going to the worst-case scenario,” he apologized as he came over and sat across from her.

She sighed, looking at the gloves she was holding in her hands as she sat and waited. “Can we just talk about something else?”

“Yeah,” Castle nodded. “How’s Josh?” he asked almost cautiously. Normally he wouldn’t dare bring up the detective’s boyfriend, but after witnessing the argument between her and the doctor at the precinct of all places, he couldn’t help but wonder just how strong their relationship was. Maybe they were on the outs, which might bode well for him.

Josh. When she had suggested they talk about something else, that wasn’t what she’d had in mind. She hadn’t expected him to ask about her relationship with the doctor. “Fine,” she answered simply. “He’s on his way to Haiti to do another Doctors Without Borders mission.”

Castle did his best to remain calm and casual with that information, especially since it seemed like something Kate was not happy about. “How long?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know.” She was quiet for a few minutes, toying with the gloves in her hands. “It’s funny, Castle. You know, at first I loved that he was so busy. It just…it gave me an opportunity to keep one foot out the door just in case,” she sighed.

“But with one foot out the door, it’s hard to know where you stand,” he pointed out.

“And even if I did, I mean, what does it mean? He’s out there. He’s saving people. How do you even compete with that?” she asked, clearly frustrated.

“You can’t,” he shook his head. “No one can.”

“That’s one of the things that attracted me to him the most, you know?” she looked up at him. “That…passion. That…drive. Why is it that the thing that attracts you to a person always ends up being that thing that just drives you crazy?” she asked, not really expecting an answer. She took a deep breath and looked back at her gloves. “I just wish that it…I wish that I had someone who would be there for me, and I could be there for him, and we could just dive into it together.”

Castle remained silent for a moment, at war with himself over whether to speak up or just try to reassure her. “You do,” he finally stated quietly. “You have someone who will be there for you…always.”

His words had her eyes flying to his immediately. This is not the time, Castle. She tried to will him to stop talking, but that had never worked the entire time she’d known him.

“You have a choice. It’s actually kind of simple. I know you care about him…he’s a doctor, he saves lives, on paper you guys are perfect…and I’m sure he’s really great. He certainly doesn’t make it easy to hate him," he began quietly. "And I know I’m just a writer; I don’t save lives, or even really make the world a better place. But we don’t live our lives on paper. And Kate…I love you. In a really, frustratingly big, follow you into danger, be willing to die with you, take a bullet for you, unfortunate way that sometimes makes me hate you, love you. So pick me. Choose me. Love me.”

Kate’s eyes widened, and she stared at him. What the hell was he doing? What the hell was she supposed to say to that?

Thankfully she was saved from having to formulate some kind of response when a hazmat worker unzipped the tent and came inside to talk to them. “You’re free to go.”

Castle looked from Beckett’s face to the worker with a look that hopefully conveyed his frustration at what the man was interrupting. “We…we are?” Because he could have used another few minutes in here with her away from the case and everything else.

“What about the radiation?” Beckett asked after finding her voice.

“We found residual traces of Cobalt 60 in the storage unit, but not enough to cause any health problems,” the worker explained, looking between the two of them before leaving.

Beckett stood with a smile. They were okay, and that meant she could get back to the case. It meant she could focus on something other than her love life, the unwilling love triangle she’d found herself in, and Castle’s speech. Pick him? Choose him? Love him? She couldn't deal with this now…not in the middle of a case. She needed to think…preferably over a few bottles of wine with Lanie as her sounding board.

Castle stood as well, gritting his teeth in frustration at the interruption. They had been so close to having to talk about their relationship. “Kate…” he tried, gently touching her elbow.

Montgomery walked into the tent, interrupting again before she could (had to?) say anything. “Detective Beckett, Castle, we’re all real glad you’re okay.”

“Thank you, Sir. So are we. I’m confused, though. Is this just a false alarm?” she asked, giving her captain her full attention.

“Not exactly,” he shook his head. “If you’re feeling up to it, we could really use you back at the precinct. I can fill you in on the way.”

Castle wanted to scream at the second interruption, but his curiosity was now piqued. “Those traces of Cobalt 60…where did they come from?” he asked.

“We think there was a second crate at the storage unit which contained large quantities of Cobalt 60. We found wire and crimp on connectors, which leads us to believe the crate was outfitted with explosives,” Montgomery explained.

“A bomb?” Beckett asked.

Montgomery’s face was deadly serious. “A dirty bomb.”

She swallowed hard at that news. “Where is it now?”

“That’s what we’re trying to find out.” Montgomery exited the tent.

Beckett made a move to follow, but Castle touched her elbow. “Kate…”

She shook her head. “Not now, Castle. We have to find the bomb,” she told him simply, following her captain out of the tent and leaving Castle no choice but to follow her silently and wait until the case was over.

xxxxx

Castle slowly opened his eyes, groggy and clueless as to where he was. After a few moments, he was able to take in his surroundings and realized he was in a medical facility. Slowly, the events started coming back to him. The bomb. The freezer. Kate! “Where is she?” he began struggling to get up.

“Sir, you need to calm down,” a paramedic struggled with him, trying to push him back on the stretcher.

“Where is she?” he struggled some more, realizing he wasn’t in a medical facility at all, but was in the back of an ambulance.

“She’s going to be fine,” he heard a familiar male voice. When the man stepped up into the ambulance, it was confirmed that Josh was indeed the owner of the voice, much to Castle’s chagrin. “You’re both going to be fine. We got you just in time,” he assured him.

This was almost a nightmare scenario…Beckett’s boyfriend having to save his life. Great. One more thing to not be able to hate him about. The only silver lining in this was that she was fine;

her boyfriend made sure she was fine. “Josh,” he stated. It wasn’t really a greeting…just a comment…an acknowledgment of sorts.

Josh studied him for a moment. “So you’re recovering from a moderate case of hypothermia. You’re going to be a little bit sluggish for awhile. But, with some warmth and fluids, you should be alright.” He was a complete professional, his personal feelings for the writer not withstanding.

“I thought you were in Haiti,” Castle commented.

The doctor shrugged. “Didn’t go. It wasn’t worth losing her over a couple of months in Haiti,” he stated simply. “I stayed for her,” he added in a tone that sounded a lot like he was claiming her and warning Castle to back off.

Castle had to swallow hard at the man’s words. He obviously cared very deeply about Kate as well. He felt like the way Josh spoke to him, telling him he had stayed for her in the tone he used, was almost like he knew Castle had feelings for her. Then again, what sane man wouldn’t develop feelings for her after spending any time around her?

“This is going to hurt,” Josh warned him, taking his IV out and putting a bandage over the mark. “Let’s get you up,” he added, pulling on Castle’s arm and using his hand at his back to guide him to a sitting position. “Alright, just move slowly,” he warned him, hopping down out of the ambulance.

After talking with Ryan and Espo to find out if they got the bomb and how they found them, he spotted Beckett leaning against a car, wrapped in a blanket. He climbed down from the ambulance with his own blanket and approached her, leaning next to her against the car. “So…your boy is back in town…” he started, trying to get a read on her after everything they’d been through in the past couple of days…everything he’d said to her, everything she’d almost said in that freezer.

“Mm-hmm. He came back,” she nodded, avoiding looking at him.

“What does that mean to you?” Castle had to ask her.

“Come on. Agent Fallon wants to debrief,” she answered, completely avoiding his question. This was not the time or place to have that discussion. They were still in the middle of a case. She wasn’t going to delve into her personal life until they had found the bomb; she couldn’t. She hadn’t even had time to process everything…including nearly dying. He was going to have to give her some time to just…think.

They passed along the information they had to Fallon, and when Beckett asked if they could rejoin the task force, Fallon had told her it was up to her doctor. So Castle had watched like a

sad puppy as she sauntered over to her boyfriend to get him to medically clear them. He had to look away as he saw her lean into Josh, her fingers curling at the opening of his jacket.

“You know, it’s funny. When I first met you two, I thought you two were together,” Fallon commented.

Castle turned away completely from the sight of Kate and Josh together, trying to school his expression. “No,” he said, but he couldn’t keep the sad tone out of his voice. “Just friends…partners,” he answered.

“Get cleaned up. We’ve got a long day ahead of us.”

Castle nodded and looked up just in time to see Josh and Beckett share a soft kiss before turning his eyes back to the ground and walking away. He needed to find a ride to his apartment; he needed to get away from there.

xxxxx

“Fallon, do you know how to diffuse a bomb?” Beckett asked into her phone, trying her best to remain calm despite the fact that she and Castle were staring at the time that was quickly ticking down to a minute.

“Where are you?” Fallon asked.

“We’re at 55th and 11th,” she answered.

“I’d have to see it. Can you send a picture?” he answered back when he realized he was too far away to make it in time.

“Yeah. Yeah, hold on,” she took a couple pictures with her phone and sent them to the man on the other side of the conversation. “They’re uploading now.”

“45 seconds,” Castle informed them.

“You got it?” she asked, beginning to pray for a miracle at this point.

“It’s opening,” Fallon answered.

“Fallon?”

“Yeah…hang on!” he replied, trying to see something, anything, in the pictures she sent him.

Castle continued the countdown. “30 seconds.”

“Fallon?!” she asked, using every bit of police training she had to keep the panic out of her voice.

“I can’t see anything. I’m sorry…I’m sorry,” the agent apologized.

Beckett put her phone down and took a deep breath. This was it. They were going to die…together. The regrets of things she would miss, things she hadn’t said to people she cared about, the future she wouldn’t have now…and memories…so many memories…the laughter, laughing with the boys at the precinct, playing poker with the boys at Castle’s loft, joining the group for drinks at The Old Haunt...all came crashing around her; then there was his face, his smile, the way he looked at her…and it hit her like lightning. “Castle…” she started softly, so many things she wanted to say to him in the mere seconds they had left, but she didn’t have the words.

Castle took her hand and swallowed hard, giving her one last look. If they were going to die, she was going to be the last thing he saw. He grabbed all the wires connected to the bomb and yanked them, turning his back in anticipation of blowing them both up. When nothing happened, he turned and saw the time on zero.

“Castle!” Beckett immediately hugged him tightly in relief. Somehow, his dumb luck had saved them…again.

He returned her hug as they laughed a little to let out some of the tension they were both still feeling. “Yes!” he said, relief and adrenaline coursing through his veins.

Back at the precinct, they had gathered in a conference room with celebratory beers, Beckett describing the events as they had unfolded. After Fallon had shown up and pulled Castle and Beckett away to say his official goodbye, Castle studied her for a moment. He was still feeling pretty high on life…and lucky. “Hell of a day, huh?” he asked her.

She nodded with a smile. “Hell of a day.”

“You know, I was thinking…” he started. He heard the ding of the elevator and spotted the all too familiar sight of the tall, dark, and handsome doctor approaching over her shoulder.

Josh came up behind Beckett before Castle could finish what he was saying. “Oh, hey,” she greeted him, giving into the hug he pulled her into. Even in the hug, her eyes met with Castle’s, silently offering an apology.

“You ready?” Josh asked with a smile.

She pulled back from the hug and gave Castle a small smile. “See you tomorrow?”

Castle swallowed hard but forced a smile for her. “Goodnight,” he told her.

Josh put his arm around her as they walked toward the elevator. When they got inside and turned, her eyes met Castle's again and she gave him an almost sad look.

He held her gaze as the elevator doors closed, realizing that he had gambled, overplayed his hand, and lost. She picked Josh. She chose Josh. She loved Josh.

xxxxx

The ride to Kate’s apartment was silent, but Josh didn’t think anything of it. He knew how Kate could be, and considering the day she’d had, he figured she just needed some silence to process everything, so he didn’t push. They entered her apartment in the same silence. She pulled off her jacket and headed to her bedroom to store her badge and gun before returning to the kitchen.

Josh had poured her a glass of wine and set it on the counter for her. She took a seat on the stool behind it quietly, watching him as he leaned back against her counter with his beer. When he gave her a smile, she looked down at her wine glass. “I think you should go to Haiti.”

Josh just stared at her, his smile fading. “What?” he asked.

“I think you should take the Doctors Without Borders mission and go to Haiti,” she repeated, looking up to meet his eyes.

“But you said you needed someone who would be here for you, that if I left that we were basically over...” he shook his head, studying her, trying to figure out what had changed. Seeing the sad look in her eyes, he knew. “Oh…” he realized; she was breaking up with him. He placed his beer bottle on the counter, clenching his jaw.

“Josh…I’m sorry…this just isn’t…”

“This is about him, isn’t it?”

“Josh…” she started.

“Are you sleeping with him, Kate?” he interrupted as his anger flared up.

“What? No!” she slid off her stool, her own anger flaring at the accusation. They’d had this fight before…so often that she knew he was referring to Castle without even having to say the name.

“Then what? You’ve just been lying to me this whole time? I knew…I knew there was something

more between the two of you, but this entire time you’ve insisted that you’re just friends.”

“I haven’t lied to you!” she shot back angrily. “This isn’t about Castle…”

“The hell it’s not! I turned down the Haiti offer to stay here…because you wanted me to be here. I chose you over my career, Kate…and after a couple of days of running around with Writer Boy, you’ve suddenly changed your mind?” he vented.

“Josh…that’s not how it happened…”

“Then how did it happen, Kate? How did we go from you being happy I stayed a day ago to telling me I need to leave? Tell me…how did it happen?”

She was silent then, pinching the bridge of her nose. She didn’t know how to answer that because she didn’t even know how it happened…or when. “I don’t know, okay?” she finally admitted.

He sighed, running his hands over his face. “Are you in love with him?” he finally asked her after a few minutes, his initial wave of anger having subsided for the moment. When she didn’t answer to deny it, it was as good as a yes. “Did you ever love me? Did you even try?”

“Don’t do this, Josh…” she shook her head. “I like you…I care about you…deeply.” But it wasn’t enough…not anymore. Not when she knew she wasn’t being fair to him.

“But you don’t love me,” he stated.

“I’m sorry…” she apologized, a few stray tears sliding down her cheeks.

He inhaled deeply and nodded, slowly releasing his breath. “Yeah…” he murmured.

“You’re a great guy, Josh. For what it’s worth, I did want this to work out,” she told him honestly.

“Me too.” He moved closer to her and dropped a soft kiss to the top of her head. “Goodbye, Kate,” he sighed. “I hope Writer Boy knows how lucky he is,” he murmured. And then he let himself out of her apartment.

She walked over to the door now that he was gone and locked it before leaning her back against it and closing her eyes. A couple more tears slipped out of her eyes, running down her cheeks as she slowly slid down the door to sit on the floor. What a hell of a day.

xxxxx

Where are my Grey’s fans at? I know you guys recognized where I got the concept for

Castle’s little speech. I’ve been watching early Grey’s Anatomy and when I saw that scene, I wanted to do my own version of it…but Beckett is NOT the “pick me, choose me, love me” type. However, much to my good fortune, Castle is…at least in this case I think.

And I told you Josh wouldn’t be around forever!

I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! I look forward to your thoughts for those of you who choose to comment!

#castle #caskett #kate beckett #richard castle #castle fanfiction

[aeoris4lovers]

the quiet tragedy of verin being the one who never quite made it out.

for most of their lives, essek was the one who was entrenched in expectations, in the politics of their den. while verin was stationed far from the heart of the dynasty, ostensibly free from the eyes of his elders, essek was sitting beside their mother in court and speaking before the queen. and it made sense, because essek had always been better at all of it — the posturing, the sweet-talking, the ladder-climbing. his brother the black sleep was still his brother the prodigy; his brother the heretic was still his brother the shadowhand.

but then, essek meets new people and they get through to him and change him and make him softer, make him better (and why them? what is it about them, that they could do what verin never could?) and he runs. he gives up the title and the status and the power and leaves it all (leaves verin) behind.

suddenly, verin is the lone newsoul of den thelyss, the one with all eyes on him, with the expectations meant for two brothers falling squarely on his shoulders and only his in the absence of their other target. he is still the youngest of his den, the one they all watch and wait to be disappointed by, but there is no one to share that burden with anymore and all at once it becomes painfully clear that distance never really was freedom.

essek has a family, then — not a den but a family, with love and trust and care and warmth and all the things essek once called verin childish for craving — and a welcoming home to go to with someone who loves him waiting there and a garden in the front yard, and verin is left still fighting demons under the banner of a god (of a family, of a home) he only half-believes in.

and maybe they see each other more often then. maybe bazzoxan is remote enough that it’s safe for essek to visit in disguise. maybe essek’s friends come too and are kind enough to offer a taste of what essek has now and verin can almost believe it’s his too. maybe essek doesn’t even fight it anymore when verin insists on hugging him. but how much can that really fix? how much can it really change?

an unloved man leaves no one behind when he finally makes a better life for himself, but essek was never an unloved man. not really.

#listen i have a lot of feelings about verin #hes the kindhearted himbo of the family yes but he also is A Thelyss and weve seen the baggage that comes with #i think on the surface hed be thrilled for essek and love the nein #but it definitely wouldnt be an easy thing to stomach #i imagine its like the feeling of your sibling going to college and leaving you with your shitty parents but like. times a hundred #like ‘im so happy for you but i want to be happy for myself too and you getting out mightve just locked me in so where do we go from here’ #fuck man sibling relationships are so messy im going feral #we never even get to SEE verin but he haunts the entirety of essek’s arc and im incapable of being normal about it #cr meta #verin thelyss #essek thelyss #the thelyss brothers #den thelyss #the mighty nein #c2 #critical role #critical role meta