tw for pretty in-depth discussion of fictional suicide attempts/suicidal ideation ///
i just. think a Lot about how the idea of “well ellie should have had a choice!” often ignores the implied fact that ellie, on the day she was entering the hospital, was struggling with some degree of suciidal ideation to the point where joel opened up about his attempt and ellie’s immediate response was:
“i know why you’re telling me this”
because she’d been so nonresponsive, so far removed from her usual self in her depression, that joel was worried for her and thought the story of him recovering from his attempt, feeling that hopeless, would resonate with her.
“yeah, i reckon you do” -- that’s....yeah.
and she goes for the “time heals all wounds” to wrap it in a bow-- the cliche of “it gets better, you just have to give it time” that we give to people struggling especially with suicidial thoughts and joel in a moment of rare vulnerability says “it wasn’t time that did it” -- him telling her that he loves her and cares about her, that that is what healed him, that that is why he’s opening himself up because he doesn’t want her to hurt like he did. that it’s not just going to be time, he’s here and he’s not going anywhere whatever healing looks like for her. and it hits her like a gut punch because it’s the last thing she’s expecting and the thing that breaks through to her.
so if you’re asking the teenager with sucidial ideation, who has spent her entire life being told by an institution that she is inherently expendable and her life is worth nothing, coupled with her mom’s friend echoing that same sentiment -- of course she would have said yes. marlene with the “what would she want?” gee i wonder how putting her in a system that sees her as expendable would affect like worldview on top of countless traumas! and joel is the one person in her life who does not see her as worth sacrificing, who would mourn her and care about her to the point where he’s unwilling to mourn her even if it means she hates him.
when people we love and care about go through something like that, we don’t go “oh i guess it’s your choice”. it’s “i will drag you kicking and screaming to go on with me if i have to because i love you and i don’t want to do this without you, because you are worth more than how you’re feeling right now.” it’s what tommy did for joel. he dragged him out of that ditch, took him to a medic camp even though joel swears up and down it’s what he wants and never lets him do it again and he can’t go on and do this. it’s what joel does later for ellie.
so yeah.
no i don’t think joel should’ve woken up ellie like
“r u sure?”
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hey! i hope you don’t mind me asking, but do u have any fics you recommend reading? (specifically sonic fandom ones)
im so sorry anon but im probably the worst when it comes to fic recs. I just started using the bookmark function on ao3 like last month. There's probably tons of fics that i've read and absolutely loved, but never saved and are just collecting dust in my history ToT
i'm going to shout out a few of my favorite authors whose works i absolutely adore and some fics under the cut!
There's definitely more authors and fics i missed, but this is what i was able to come up with!! in general, the sonic community is full of so much talent and i'm just really happy to be here :)
@cozyqueerchaos - I love every single piece they put out honestly and these fics are the reason i dipped my toes more into the sonic fandom years ago. they're THAT good. love them all.
@phantomruby - another wonderful fic writer that everyone should check out. "Slipping Away" makes me cry fr, although i haven't caught up on the latest updates. everything just makes my heart go oshfdsfhd
@chaoxfix - sonic fics are wonderful sonic takes are top notch i dig everything. the understanding of the characters and archie is just phenomenal.
@teamxdark - fell in love with the Tales of Avalon series and fell harder in love with the team dark Boomtober fics and dynamics and aaaaaa, wonderful writing and style.
@rubyiiiusions - every fic is a joy to read and every story really just gets your attention and keeps it till the end. i've bookmarked a few of them since last week :)
I went digging through my history and here are some of my personal favorite Sonic fics!
radio silence under a yellow sky by chaox
Summary: Sonic finds out Tails is missing.
And more importantly, that no one's been looking for him.
A gen fic about Sonic finding out Tails was MIA during Forces it's so so good i think about it a lot
falling by sonosuke
Summary: Shadow likes a boy
sonadow during SA2 I'll cry. so angsty but it makes me :')
Birds of a Feather by SonicaSpeed123
Summary: Sonic has been trapped in Camelot for three years, but he's started to make a place for himself that he can finally be comfortable in with his beloved Lancelot
Something has been bothering him, though: If all the people of this world look like the people back home, where is Sonic's lookalike?
Lansoni. Part of a series of SatBK mini fics that i really love, but this one especially because it answers the question of 'what about the Sonic doppleganger?'
you can hardly swallow your fears and pain by chaox and sketchjii
Summary: Shadow is usually better at putting up that cold, unfeeling front, isn't he?
Or maybe that's him.
(or: sonic doesn't need to be in touch with his feelings if he pretends they don't exist in the first place)
One of my all time faves i love it so much i dont think i have the right words. shadow tries to give sonic mental health advice. it does not go well. takes place some time after Forces.
the time has come again for stars by rubyillusions
Summary: (five times someone notices sonic and shadow are in love and one time they do something about it)
sonadow, Teen. obsessed with how the characters are written here and the way all of their friends interpret their relationship it's just so cute and sweet and shit and i love it a lot.
against every odd by eggskie
Summary: "We're friends?" Nine asks, small and timid, and oh, doesn't that break Sonic's heart.
"Of course we are. We always have been. Or we always should have been."
Or: Nine isn't used to being cared about
wanna see how hard i can cry? Gen, Sonic Prime fic about sonic and tails and what they should have been.
Dreams Don't Come True by Skyblaze
Summary: Short, mildly humorous fic with sonadow flavouring. It also takes the mickey extensively out of the Sonic the Hedgehog 2006 Next Gen game. Warning: not to be taken seriously.
This fic is just really silly i like it a lot :)
A largely platonic cave by mousewritings
Summary: "You know I uh, love hanging out with you and all, but do you think we could go somewhere that's not a cave for once?"
Shadow stares at him. "What do you mean, go somewhere that's not a cave? Think you're too good for caves?"
Sonic Boom Sonic and Shadow (pre-slash sonadow) my beloveds <3<3 this fic is so funny they're so insufferable
Also, uh. I know you said only Sonic fics but i'm going to add a few more fics that i really really love from different fandoms because i reread them a lot, i hope you don't mind! ^^
Our way by shpeeper
Summary: Overall, the mission was pretty simple. Sniper was instructed to track the spy for a week, figure out his daily patterns, then put a bullet in his brain when no one is around.
No one told him there would be a kid.
An AU in which Spy raises Scout alone, and Sniper is hired to kill Spy.
Oh my fucking god i could go on about this fic. Sniperspy, Teen, TF2. filled with action and danger. Every time a new character would get introduced, i would have fun piecing together who they were in my mind. the first chapter already had me emotional, it's been in my brain for YEARS. And don't even get me STARTED with the twist at the end. holy shit.
Desmodontinae by Romiress
Summary: Kirk wakes up in a Gotham that is not his own.
A what-if, where Gods and Monsters Batman winds up in the DCU. Originally intended as a short oneshot, and expanded out into a small story, exploring the differences, struggles, and conclusions.
Focuses primarily on Kirk Langstrom (G&M Batman), with a side or Hernan Guerra (G&M Superman), Damian Wayne, and Bruce Wayne. Guest appearances by various other Robins, Clark and Jon Kent, and several others.
The Gods and Monsters DC team means so much to me and oh my god this fic was made with so much love and care for the characters. It's been a while since i read it, but i remember this fic had me staying up literally all night, eagerly going through all the chapters, one at a time. i was in bed kicking my sheets quietly irl lmao.
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Guys I need you to know about my weird ass dream:
Bart and Wally were hanging out. Everything was a pinkish-purple and slightly distorted, like I was watching them through a wall of rock candy.
Wally leaned over to Bart and said "I like men, I think. I'm bi. I always have been, I've just never said it out loud. It changes nothing in my life and it changes nothing about me but I think it's good to be myself. It's good to be honest about myself."
Now at this point I was shocked. Elated but completely bamboozled. I wasn't aware that this was a dream so I was F R E A K I N G out. I remember thinking "Holy shit, did DC just say that Wally is bi??? And have it just be a casual thing that changes nothing??? Without it disrupting his relationship with his wife or family?!?!"
My mind was running wild, which is why it took me a few minutes to process when Bart said "Oh cool. Me too."
Guys.
People.
I was ready to explode.
Then the pinkish-purple crystal wall they were in changed from sorta bi colors to just straight up the bi flag.
Which was weird because neither one had acknowledged the strange setting before this but suddenly Bart seemed to notice and he was incredibly confused.
Wally laughed. Like a cartoony villain laugh. And said "I knew it!"
Then he turned into Mirror Master.
I was sent reeling as I realized a) Goddammit, Wally isn't canonically bi, that was just Mirror Master apparently b) Oh holy, shit they've been inside a crystal/crystal dimension this entire time and c) Mirror Master's evil plan was apparently tricking Bart into coming out??
Anyway, I woke up after that but... what.
What the fuck.
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i know that in media you're constrained with things like budget, time slots and stuff, but sometimes i'm just like. my god. the insane shortcuts people take to write "smart / intelligent" characters, especially in plot-heavy stories, always pisses me off. they write them like they're sherlock holmes (bbc version, derogatory) but they fail to realise that even sherlock holmes (arthur conan doyle) was written with a lot of thought, suffered his own subconscious prejudices and had to learn from mistakes.
i guess what i'm trying to get at is—"smart" people don't magically get good at things overnight, the only difference between them and others is how much they're willing to go through to hone their mental acuity. which means when they try something new, they're going to make obvious mistakes, not understand how things work beyond the surface level, and make mistakes in judgements (like when you don't understand something well enough, your analogies and metaphors aren't 100% accurate or concise).
but it feels like there's a assumption hanging over our heads that, as readers, we don't WANT to see the smart one go through the entire nitty gritty of the learning process. we just want to see them do cool things, piece the puzzle together with a flourish, and clap our hands at the end. and in some parts, yes! that is what i want to see! but i am also interested in how they pieced it together. the joy of mysteries is, to me, that everyone is exposed to the same pieces of information, and we're given the chance to try to piece it ourselves. but then the smart character comes along and interprets those pieces of information in a not-obvious way to us, and it's cool!! years of living with a mind that is primed to turn things over in their head, to make sense of things, reveals to us how differently we experience the same reality, and it's wonderful. i'm able to learn from someone who sees life differently than me, and interpret information differently than me!
but right now i'm often left out feeling flat and confused in the mystery-type plots i've seen. the smart person will have been exposed to information we didn't even get the chance to see and interpret, and then they piece things together and everyone in the story claps their hands at the artificial pedestal that's been propped up under that character's feet. explanations of in-setting magic that can be retconned in and out at any point in time, so there's no logical consistency for us to nitpick or understand, so there's no basis to stand on that the story should be taken seriously. plot twists that make no sense as a gotcha. so many things!!
like. this particular example just my beef with g*nshin, so ignore it if you don't agree or smth. but the use of red herrings in the stories piss me off. the red herrings are either too obvious or nonexistent. they always use some random guy acting suspiciously and have the other characters react to it, as if we can't understand it on our own? but like. these red herrings, in the real world, aren't even red herrings. sometimes people just "act suspiciously" just by virtue of being human, not because they're complicit in some bigger overarching plot. sometimes people just stutter because of their anxious disposition, not to hide a guilty conscience. sometimes people are just defensive and irritable because they're a defensive and irritable person, it doesn't mean they're the ""bad guy"" who you need to crack down on and interrogate even further, especially if there's literally nothing that indicates this character is guilty other than their outward appearances.
but like. the smart characters/protagonist almost never get proven wrong. the stutterer was guilty all along and they're just a bad liar. the defensive guy is selfish and obnoxious, they're defensive because they're hiding something, not because it's a natural reaction on having one's sense of privacy and personal space violated.
the game sure loves trying to do nuance with "not everyone is 100% good or bad, we're all Flawed" but they can't put their money where their mouth is. everyone who is not guilty acts in completely transparent and "good" ways. everyone who is guilty acts in completely opaque and "suspicious" / "bad" ways. end of story. how the hell am i supposed to think anyone in this game is smart when they don't even have to use their brain to sift through, critique, weigh and interpret information? what use is there to do so? just use your eyes and ears. the stutterer is nervous for hiding a secret. the anxious is guilty. the angry is scornful.
there's also another rant here about how g*nshin fucking sucks at writing unique and flawed characters, because they like to make everyone the Specialest Guy In The World, but that's for another day.
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