#i just remember them being a huge part of my personal library because of how realistic and relatable junie b. was

[uncanny-tranny]

I jokingly thought before that reading Junie B. Jones as a kid turned me into a feminist, but unironically, it kind of did.

I honestly think it comes down to the fact that Junie B. was not only allowed to be "weird," but her character arc never concluded like other girl characters would. In other media featuring "weird girls," the girl always ended her arc tamed - by force or convince, she would be prettied up, she would smile and be polite, and she would never speak out of turn. She would be perfect then, and would shed her veneer of individuality with the freedom that is conformity. As a kid, I noticed that girls weren't permitted to be "weird" like boys were. So when I read Junie B. Jones, I loved that she was frankly just fucking weird. She said things out of turn, she was rambunctious and imaginative and she was a realistic portrayal of a little girl. I loved reading those books because the narrative taught her lessons without punishing her for being weird, if that makes sense. So often, narratives punished weird girls for the crime of being a socially unacceptable girl, not for any true wrongdoing like lying.

Anyway, I just think it's interesting, because I watched and read a ton of books and shows and movies featuring girls and women, but none of them truly empathized with (or even tried to empathize with) weird girls on their own merits and capabilities and terms, or embraced the idea of a "socially inept/unacceptable" girl without punishing her in some way for her supposed ineptitude.

#feminism #and like junie b. got in trouble A LOT but she wasn't punished FOR being weird (honestly i thought she was adhd as a kid) #i haven't read the books in WELL over a decade but this is what i truly remember liking about the books #and i felt as a kid it said something that she was a seeming rarity among the sea of other portrayals of girls #am i looking too deep into this? honestly i don't care #and it makes me wonder if all the pushback those books got was partially because junie b. wasn't an 'acceptable' girl #like she's no more 'out there' than the portrayals of little boys that are out there and there were lessons and things from what i remember #i'm not saying you HAVE to like the books by the way but i think sometimes other people can get really angry about GIRLS acting like kids #i was ranting about these books to my dad because he didn't like them but he did still let me read them so thanks dad 🫡🫡 #i just remember them being a huge part of my personal library because of how realistic and relatable junie b. was #like i acted really similarly to her when i was a kid and i felt like i was being understood (which is why i hc she's adhd/audhd/autistic)

[foone]

weird thought: I think if I was a teenager now (or anytime in the last decade or so) I think I would have written (and read!) a lot more fanfic than I did in reality, where I was a teenager in the 90s.

See, I've never been hugely into fanfic. Never had anything against it exactly, but it just wasn't something I was into. But I think that has to do with an interesting combination of how my brain works and what time I was first really getting into being a fan.

I've got a "librarian" brain (I'm literally typing this from within a library, WHERE I WORK). It wants to know things like "what are all the works in this series/by this creator?" and "are they all accessible?" and "what info is available about how it was made?"

I'm the kind of person who will watch a show then go look it up on wikipedia to see how many seasons it has, who made it, if they're still making it, check tvtropes for any more info, etc. Or I hear a song I like by a band I've never heard of, so I go listen to their entire discography while researching them. I just focus on things I'm into that way, you know? I don't half-ass my interest. (this is probably related to my autism, of course)

So what does this have to do with fanfic? like, do I go read some fanfics as part of this process? No, and I think the reason for it is when I specifically first got into fandom, as a teen.

See, this sort of fandom-librarian was harder to do in 1997, you know? You couldn't just pull up the wikipedia for that new show and see how many episodes it had. You also couldn't just listen to the whole discography of that band! Forget Spotify or Google Music, even Napster didn't exist yet.

So my interest in fandom focused a lot more on very basic questions: How many episodes/albums/books/whatever are there? Where can I see/hear them all? Like, I remember getting excited because I found some fan magazine that had a list of all the Star Trek: The Next Generation episodes. Just a list! Not even descriptions or anything. I finally could take that list and see how many I'd seen, so I'd know when I saw them all in late-night reruns.

So I'm focusing on these very basic parts of being a fandom-librarian and I stumble across some fanfic. I'm like "oh, is this a transcript of an episode I haven't seen yet?" and I realize it's not, it's a story written by a fan, and I get a knee-jerk reaction of "that's not helpful to my quest to know and find all the episodes". It's like I am on a quest for the holy grail and I found a fake cup. It's not helpful to me, and at worst it's a distraction from my goal.

And the thing is, I think the fact I had that reaction is entirely due to the time and situation in which I first encountered fanfic. It was in that environment of "I can't even find a list of the episodes, let alone a way to watch them all!" and that anxiety that colored my response to finding fanfic.

I think if I instead was first introduced to fanfic NOW, where those fandom-librarian drives aren't so difficult to fulfill, I'd be way more positive about fanfic. If I could get a list of episodes with a quick google search, and watch them easily on netflix/prime/whatever, I'd be less "THIS DOESN'T HELP! I AM STRUGGLING WITH THE BASICS HERE!" and more "yay, more content for the fandom I'm obsessed with!"

Like I said, I'm not anti-fanfic, I never have been, I just never got into it. From the beginning I had this reaction that was "this is not useful" and I never developed any real interest in it. Which is a shame, honestly. Fanfic is great. It just never became one of my interests, and while I've written it and read it from time to time, I imagine I'd be way more into it if I didn't have the weird reaction to it due to the worries of the time in which I first encountered it.

I don't know how many other people have brains that work anything like mine, but if they exist, I'm glad they're now growing up in a world where they won't have these problems. They can get into fanfic without this weird baggage caused by a lack of information.

#fanfic meta

[yusume-the-writer]

are you able to write a mash x m!reader whos a notorious double liner that just transferred to the school and is stuck into finn and mash's room because there wasnt anyother rooms? (if thats to specific im down for just mash x m!reader!)

Love blooms just like a flower in a garden

Mash Burnedead x male reader

Request made by Anon. Thanks for waiting, and sorry for the delay

I found the idea interesting and it was also my first time writing for Male Reader, so if there is a part with wrong pronouns, I would be grateful to be alerted about it.

Warning: The reader is said to have a hobby of watching butterflies and taking photos of them and gardening; the reader is completely male! Everything is from Finn's point of view, except the bonus

Summary: After (Name)'s transfer, Finn notices how close Mash and (Name) are and how their love has blossomed just like a flower

Today was supposed to be a normal day

And because it was a normal day in the lives of Mash and Finn, they had to share their room with a new transfer student.

Now Fin and Mash were facing their new roommate until he had his own room

"It's a pleasure to meet you, my name and (Name) (Last name)" The boy called (Name) while bowing in an elegant manner

If it weren't for the two-line mark on his face, Finn would know he came from a prestigious family.

"Ah.. and equally a pleasure I am and this is Mash" Finn says while pointing at himself and Mash

"And a pleasure too, what a profiterole?" Mash says while holding a profiterole in front of the (h/c) haired boy

"Ah! Thank you very much" (Name) says as he accepts Mash's profiterole

"Dispose" Mash responds

"Thank you so much for letting me sleep in your dorm until I had one" (Name) says and then he takes a bite of the profiterole "Amazing! And very delicious wherever you buy it Mash!" (Name) says as he takes the profiterole from their lips and their (e/c) eyes shine as she looks into the monotonous golden ones.

"I do it myself" Mash says nonchalantly

"That's amazing! I've never tried anything like this before" (Name) says as their gaze shifts to their half-bitten profiterole

"Really?" Mash says with surprise in their tone of voice

"Hm! The outside is crunchy but at the same time soft to the bite, along with the inside which is soft to a good extent and the cream combines perfectly with the crunchiness and softness of the dough" (Name) explain

"Wow! You must know a lot about confectionery!" Finn said in surprise

"Hm~ I like confectionery" (Name) responds to Finn

Without realizing it, Mash had a small smile on their face.

This was Finn and Mash's first interaction with their new roommate (Name)

Finn remembers the day they met (Name) like it was yesterday.

It was about two weeks that (Name) slept in their room until he had a free room

Those few weeks were difficult for (Name) as he got used to a new school and in the middle of the semester

So he joined their little group, being another two-liner like Lance

And of course (Name) surprisingly got closer to everyone in the group

But.... (Name) and Mash's relationship was different from the personal

Even if they weren't with the staff, it was possible to see the two of them together most of the time.

Finn couldn't even count all the times they were together

How he once found Mash teaching (Name) how to make profiteroles

Another when (Name) helped Mash study for exams in the library

Or when (Name) was showing their collection of butterfly photos to Mash during breaks

And also the time when Mash talked to (Name) while he was gardening and there's that too....

The list was huge

But.... Finn doesn't know when, but he noticed their fleeting touches

He once came across Mash sleeping with their head in (Name)'s lap while he played with their hair.

Another time he saw Mash and (Name) talking, he didn't know what they were saying but suddenly (Name)'s face turned red and he hid his face in his hands while Mash looked at him with their slightly pink cheeks.

There was also when he saw (Name) playing with Mash's hair and his own cheeks were red.

And when they are with the group, Finn notices every time Mash or (Name) reaches for each other's hands and holds them without anyone noticing.

Finn wasn't stupid for that, he knew Mash and (Name) liked each other, no... they loved each other

Finn wasn't disappointed or embarrassed

In fact... he thought it was cute

It was as if he visited a garden and then every time he visited that garden he found a flower that little by little grew and in the end it bloomed and it seemed like it had always been there

But it was never there, it started to create its way to the surface and then it started to grow and become what it is today.

And that's why Finn sees their relationship like this, a love that wasn't at first sight like Lemon says and his love for Mash, but rather a love that grew like a flower in the garden where there were other flowers, this flower wasn't the only one or special one, it was just growing and it stayed there and since then it was there without anyone noticing

Even if other people notice this flower and say it grew overnight, Finn will be proud to say that he saw this flower, it didn't bloom overnight but it bloomed over time to where it is.

And he hopes that this flower remains rich and strong just like (Name) and Mash's relationship

𝑩𝒐𝒏𝒖𝒔

"So... like we said before, we have an announcement to make" (Name) says to the group that was in front of him and Mash

One day (Name) and Mash called the group to say something

"Me and Mash are dating" (Name) says and then Mash holds his hand to confirm

.....Silence permeated the air around the group.....

(Name) breaks out in a cold sweat thinking it wasn't a good idea while Mash squeezed his hand as a form of comfort

"WHAT?!?????!!?!?!?!?!" Lemon and Dot scream at the same time, bursting Lance's eardrums, who was next to them.

"Congratulations on your relationship!" Tom says in an excited tone while raising a thumb "May your relationship be as strong as a bamboo" He finishes

"How long have you been together? How did this happen? When are you getting married? Why didn't you say this before? How is the mushroom head (Name) dating?! ...." Lemon and Dot ask dozens of questions while get closer to (Name) and Mash without letting them talk

While this situation is happening, Lance notices that Finn was quiet the whole time.

"...Aren't you going to say anything Finn?" Lance asks as he looks away to look at Finn.

"Oh no... actually I already knew" Finn says as he continues to stare at (Name) and Mash talking to the people about their relationship

He couldn't help but notice the way Mash looked at (Name) with so much love and the way a smile formed on her face.

"I'm glad they're together, they make a good couple" Finn says as he smiles

"Hm.. If you say so" Lance takes his gaze away from Finn and faces the group

#mashle #mashle magic and muscles #mashle x reader #mashle x you #request #mash burnedead #male reader #mash x reader #mash burnedead x reader #mash burnedead x you #mash x you #mash x male reader #mash burnedead x male reader

[zerobaseonefics]

i'll take you on a date ㅡ lee jeonghyeon

lee jeonghyeon x gn!reader

genre : fluff

warnings : lee jeonghyeon (yes), mention of jeonghyeon's ass ( @yunacoeur ) 🤷🏽‍♀️

note : for the anon for requested first kiss with lee jeonghyeon....... like 2 weeks ago 💀 hope you're still here dear

lee jeonghyeon looked like a kdrama main lead. sat alone, in a corner of the college's library where students were rare, the boy was peacefully studying. the sunlight hit just right on his pretty face as his hands wrote something on his notebook. a calm and relaxing view, that you soon enough crashed by sitting next to him with a smile that meant no good.

"remember when you thought i'd fail the test so you said you'd kiss me if i ever succeed."

jeonghyeon froze. you weren't suppose to remember that, it was literally weeks ago.

"i don't remember", he simply muttered, going back to his homework without even glancing to you. he haven't see your face but he knew you had a cheeky smile plastered to your face.

anyone could tell lee jeonghyeon had a crush on you. it was just obvious. but you were not any better so at least you two were in the same place. when i say 'anyone' could tell, it means you both felt that you liked each other. things between you two never really evolved for two reasons : he was a pussy and you just thought he was like this with everyone naturally. so there was this part of doubt, this little voice in your head telling you that you might be mistaken and that your feelings were not mutuals.

jeonghyeon is a grown ass man. people naturally fell for his charms, without him even trying, even though many people believed he was flirting with them. they were absolutly wrong, he was just a very charming person. these people didn't know that despite jeonghyeon being grown, he had the flirting ability of a middle schooler. he likes you? fine, he's gonna hurl barbs at you and hope you figure he's joking and sleeps thinking about you because he's in love. yes, at his prehistoric age. hopefully, you understood his intentions, and you returned his actions. that's how your relationship with jeonghyeon was : playful with a pint of rivalry.

"there's no way you'll have a good mark on the test if you can't get a single answer right during the practice'' jeonghyeon snickered, sitting next to you as you compared your answer to the correction sheet of the maths exercices. you knew he was right, you couldn't understand a thing from this chapter. still, you furrowed your eyebrows.

"what makes you th- forget it, i don't talk. i'll just show you during the test."

"yeah, don't talk, you'll end up lying..."

"wanna bet?"

the look you gave him that day was full of assurance. jeonghyeon shrugged.

"i'd even get my ass cut in two if you get an A." he simply stated.

"isn't it already the case... like any normal butt..."

"that's not our subject."

"well. i don't care about your ass being cut in two if i get an A so..."

a silence appeared as you both looked for something you'd like to get if they other failed the bet. absent-mindedly, your eyes wandered on jeonghyeon's lips for a bit too long, making his cheeks warming up. he cough awkwardly, trying to regain his composure. you saw that as an opportunity to hit on him. the thing is, jeonghyeon flirts like a 13 years old, and you're.... just blunt. very blunt.

"i really want to kiss you right now."

"ew."

that's what i said : very blunt and a 13 years old. his answer lighted up a little bulb in your head, as your lips formed a smirk.

"you know what? if i get an A, i get to kiss you." you stated like it was nothing to you when his heart was beating like crazy.

"a kiss? sounds right. there's no way you're getting an A anyways so..."

boom. the paper you just smacked softly put down on his table was your test sheet, adorned by a huge red mark. an A. jeonghyeon's eyes went round.

"you got..." he started, "an A" you finished.

"there's no way", he said in a quiet voice due to the place you two were at.

"the evidence is right in front of you."

hesitantly, jeonghyeon took the paper in his hands. he analyzed it, his eyes always goinf back to look at the A written in big, like it was gonna disappear if he looked at it again.

"are you scared of kissing me?" you interrupted.

"shut up."

jokingly, you exagerrated a pout, your face getting closer to his to hint that you were waiting for you kiss. with two fingers, jeonghyeon slapped your lips away from him. "ouch" you said, overreacting.

"we're in a library", he said, and you didn't know if it said that because you got to loud, or because he wouldn't kiss you there. maybe he just wouldn't kiss you at all. maybe you were one of these delusional people that thought once that he was flirting with them.

soon enough, your simple joke got to you, and you fell in your own trap. now, you were the one overthinking and asking yourself if you were mistaken about jeonghyeon's feelings for you. your elbow on the table, your head went to rest on your hand, looking at the window. jeonghyeon's eyes went to look at you. now, it was your face that was hit perfectly by the sun. did you got more good looking? he could swear you were not that beautiful yesterday. but that's just what he think of you every two days of the week.

he sighed. should he take this chance? maybe you weren't just joking around... you seemed pretty upset that he wouldn't keep his word.

jeonghyeon looked around. no one was there. maybe it was destiny. maybe the stars have aligned for him to sit in a corner where no one was around. he would have been too shy to even think of kissing you in a crowded place. but there was no one... and the way your cheek looked soft on your hand made him want to touch your face himself. he could imagine himself cupping your face while kissing here, in front of the window, in that empty spot of the university's library.

so he did. when he think back to that moment, jeonghyeon acted unconsciously. he gently took away the hand that was holding your chin to replace it with his own, as he made your face turn towards him. you didn't have time to proceed his touch on your cheek because soon enough, his lips brushed against yours. he waited for a sign of rejection from you to know if he should finally kiss you. there was none. you felt like you waited for years for his lips to finally capture yours, and it was taken away from you way too fast.

"oh my god! you're not doing this in there, kids! get out if you're not studying!" the voice of the librarian made you both jump away from each other. you cough to hide your awkwardness, quickly apologizing. you quickly grabbed the A you were proudly flexing minutes ago, took your bag and ran away.

"w-wait! y/n?"

you stopped in your tracks, turning to look back at jeonghyeon.

"can you do 5? i'll take you on a date."

#zerobaseonefics #boys planet #boys planet fics #boys planet imagines #boys planet reactions #kpop #boys planet drabbles #boys planet trainees #lee jeonghyeon

[businesstiramisu]

@canyourfavesurvivecastledracula -- I'm trying out the "argue at you" approach. tagging you b/c you don't have submissions open and I think this long enough to be an annoying ask. I don't think you know or care about this character, but *I* do, so here's my argument :P

Can Alphonse Elric survive Castle Dracula?

[the answer depends a LOT on which part of which canon we're using, but we're going to go vaguely with "middle part". That is to say, armor]

Al has one HUGE advantage against Dracula, which is that he has no corporeal human body (for now). He's not completely free of blood though -- if Dracula learns about the blood seal tethering his soul to this mortal plane, I fully believe he's learned enough Dark Magicks at Scholomance to fuck it up. So the question is, would he find out? Al is usually pretty good at hiding it… unless he just decides to tell people. So it depends on how their dynamic plays out.

Al would accept the crucifix from the townsfolk, and listen to their other advice. Even if he doesn't believe them, he's a polite boy, and you never know what information might be useful! Maybe their folktales have clues about the Philosopher's Stone, you never know. (Also in one version of canon he can understand German, so let's say language barriers aren't an issue.)

Dracula is bemused when an alchemist in full plate armor turns up asking to see his library instead of the solicitor he requested. Alchemists? He hasn't run into any of those in a while. But hey, the lawyer's not here yet, he's got time to fuck with this guy and have an extra snack.

The shaving incident wouldn't happen obviously, but Dracula might realize something is amiss because Al doesn't sleep. Or will he? Does Dracula pay enough attention to know when normal humans should be sleeping and Al isn't? If so, he will probably investigate, push boundaries, or stage a confrontation until he finds out Al's deal, and then he will be PISSED. No lawyer, and now no snack! This is bullshit! From here on out, it's WAR. If not, then...

If Al realizes this is a kidnapping and not a library loan, he will play along. He might not even mind. He's been kidnapped before, and it always worked out fine. Dracula might be more creepy and threatening than his other kidnappers, but Al's dealt with a wide variety of creepy and threatening in his quest, I just don't think he'd be fazed. And he is, as already mentioned, a polite person who would want to be a respectful guest! Hmm kinda creepy that he just implied I'll never leave this place alive... oh well! Nice table setting, sir, compliments to your staff.

Being a respectful guest might not extend to staying in his room as instructed; he's a curious guy and only a stickler for the rules compared to his brother. The girlies aren't a problem for him, because he's still wearing the crucifix, but they might clue him in that Something Is Wrong and lead to Al himself forcing a confrontation with Dracula.

But even if everything goes smoothly, Al would eventually get bored with Dracula's library (if there was anything useful about the Philosopher's Stone in there, Dracula wouldn't be a vampire). At some point, Al would decide this kidnapping is over, and he would provoke the confrontation in trying to leave.

I haven't written any reason for Al to tell Dracula about his fatal weakness, so I'm gonna say Dracula can't actually do much to Al; but unfortunately I don't think Al can harm Dracula either. I don't actually remember what allowed Jonathan to hit him with a shovel but I think it involved special circumstances that do not apply to Al. However, Dracula also can't prevent Al from leaving -- neither thousand foot cliffs nor wolves are much of an obstacle to him. (Well actually, if you physically overpower him and take the armor apart, he can't walk away -- but people almost never think of that, and Dracula probably won't either.)

Which is all to say that Alphonse can survive Castle Dracula, but he probably won't have as much useful intel as Jonathan did. Mind you, he took notes! He just didn't get personal experience with as many of Dracula's powers.

And of course, his goal after this is to track down his brother -- if anyone can figure out how to kill a vampire it's Ed. Where the fuck did he get to, anyways? He'd better not be stranded in Weimar Germany. Al can absolutely walk to Munich from here, but waiting around 25-30 years for Ed to turn up would be a drag.

#also if i do it this way i can tag ramble #which is to say i am NOT sorry for ending on a Conqueror of Shamballa joke #yes it is terrible and no i will never resist #fma #dracula #fanfic #or something #long post #Al could run into the Polycule while looking for Ed. Maybe in London? #but if the Polycule is Vampire Hunting then that means Jonathan's ordeal went down and Al wouldn't have any new info for them. alas #can your fave survive castle dracula?

[scoobydoodean]

I think some of the "Sam thinks Dean is stupid" stuff comes the repeat "joke" of him constantly being surprised when Dean reads or knows literary references lol

Sure. You know what I think this is also a function of though? Dean saying things like, "Dude, could you be any more gay?" in 3.05 because Sam remembers the story of Cinderella. Actively supporting a narrative that he does not like reading or at least certain types of books (I actually think maybe Dean isn't a huge fan of classic fairy tales for various reasons but I digress). Also Dean often frames Sam as the researcher and himself as the do-er. Even in season 1, where Dean's competence at hunting alone (both the researching side and the actual killing part) is very evident, in Scarecrow, he jokes, "I’m actually on my way to a local community college. I’ve got an appointment with a professor. You know, since I don’t have my trusty sidekick geek boy to do all the research." He allows this narrative of himself versus Sam to persist, except when he doesn't and goes, "What? I read" ("Baby" is one example). (Really he just likes keeping Sam on his toes and constantly turning the tables to remind him that there are things he does not know jhvdshggvzhsdvhsa.)

Dean seems to be an avid reader of fiction and he extensively incorporates his consumption of media (watched, read) into pop culture references throughout the series. He loves a good story. He is also an extremely competent researcher when he wants to be... but there are also suggestions that Dean most of the time doesn't particularly enjoy the research grind. Sam? Well—he does seem to have a fondness for fairy tales specifically, but he's that nerd who looks at a call number from the Library of Congress and goes, "This references sciences and probably birds specifically". Also the kind of nerd who would probably work up a whole reference system for the bunker library, which I think Dean would do if he had to--but he wouldn't enjoy doing it and I think Sam is the kind of person who would actively enjoy doing that.

Dean's relationship to research comes across very ADHD to me personally in the mid to late series. Like he can suddenly be sitting for hours doing research if that is what he NEEDS to be doing in that moment and there's some real urgency to that need. But most of the time I think looking through tomes for hours and hours searching for an obscure spell is not what he would like to be doing, and Sam kind of enjoys that shit. I also think perhaps Sam has trouble understanding the difference between the two ways he and Dean relate to books and how both of them like reading but for different reasons, and that not enjoying what he enjoys about research does not mean you don't enjoy reading books generally. But Dean also contributes to this narrative of "Sam is the researcher, and I do not like books", like in 13.17 (because they are about to spend hours and hours researching) saying very sarcastically, "I love books!"

As an aside though also, thinking your brother doesn't like to read also doesn't mean you think he's stupid. There are many reasons not to like reading. Facts about me: I loved to read novels as a child and now I hate reading novels. I can enjoy reading only VERY selectively, have a very short attention span for reading certain types of materials, and haven't picked up a novel in years because I don't want to. But I also have a Masters degree and am working on a PhD. I also don't believe formal education is always a great indicator of intelligence, but neither is not reading books. When Sam gets really scathing and jokes about how "Yes I read books without pictures even", I don't think that is something he would say if he genuinely believed Dean was stupid.

#mail #1.11 #3.05 #11.04 #13.17 #my smart bby

[limi-pie]

Like a butterfly part 1

A/N: Ello’ I’ve finally managed to pull through my laziness and correct part 1. I apologize for ghosting you guys and not updating regularly. ^^" Honestly the idea of Yuta being a tattoo artist and getting tattoos done by him is asdfghjkl, I can’t help but fangirl also let’s not forget his performance and his hot tattoos. (Lord have mercy.)

So I hope you guys enjoy this.

🦋 < Teaser – Next part >

Pairing: Nakamoto Yuta x Female! Specific Reader

Contains: Non-idol AU, Tattoo AU, Tattoo artist! Nakamoto Yuta, Librarian! Y/N, Multi idols from different groups, Comedy, Friends to lovers, Romance, Complicated relationships, Hints of jealous Yuta, Mentions of cussing, piercings, and tattoos.

Warnings: Alcohol, drinking, smoking, cigarettes, light smut, cunnilingus, unprotected sex, hickies, oral sex (female) receiving, lying.

Wordcount: 7,960

Disclaimer: The reader I’ve created in this fanfiction is a woman of East Asian descent (she’s half-Japanese and half-Korean) and she has certain features and looks a certain way. The reason for this is that I wanted some more East Asian representation in Kpop fanfics! Some of these relationships between said persons are only meant to be considered fictional, in no way do I ship them in real life. They’re just there to add dynamic to the plot. (Also, because my multi fan ass just wants to have fun.) Please keep in mind that the way I’ve described the idols in this story is in no way real or representative of how they behave in real life, this is just based on my imagination.

Also in this fanfiction, some said persons are involved in an abusive, unhealthy and manipulative relationship. Please keep in mind that this is all fanmade and fiction. I don’t encourage this kind of terrible relationship and if you are in one, please seek help. Never put yourself second to anyone; remember that you’re important and loved. 💚

You stepped down from the ladder, the dangling name tag attached to your white cardigan ‘Miyoshi Y/N’. You’re an intelligent and hardworking woman in your mid-twenties, 24 years. Finding huge happiness in reading tons of Shoujo Romance mangas, and loving the romantic and sweet themes. Innocent, feminine, a bit timid, quiet, and introverted are usually the words people associate you with. In a way you were like a tiny timid turtle; you wouldn’t come out of your shell unless you felt comfortable around them. People always misunderstand your silence, it’s not that you hate speaking or interacting with them. It’s not easy to engage in speaking so comfortably with new people, it’s always such a challenge to even start the conversation.

You pushed the cart with books, carefully scanning the shelves in search of the biology section.

You were an only child of a Korean father and a Japanese mother, and growing up you had a hard time making lots of friends. Being a mixed kid was a struggle, you often got bullied or picked on for not ‘looking’ or ‘behaving’ like a specific ethnicity. You went to elementary and middle school in Japan. But you spent most of your adolescence and high school years in Korea. That’s where your love for reading began to bloom. It was your way of escaping the troubles, pain, and loneliness of your life. You found comfort in the world of books, how your mind could take you to different places.

You smiled, scanning a few books and placing them on the ‘returned’ shelf.

But that makes perfect sense as to why you work as a librarian after all! That’s right, getting to work at The National Library of Korea in Seocho-Gu was like a dream come true.

You yawned as you climbed up to the ladder’s third step, sorting out some newly arrived manga volumes in the Romance/Shoujo section. When a young man with jet-black hair and fair skin approached you.

“Excuse me, Miss, sorry if I’m bothering you but could you help me find something?”

The man looked at you as he was wearing a brown leather jacket, a black tank top underneath and some pair of black ripped jeans. You noticed the many piercings in his ears, black nail polish, and several silver rings covering his fingers. He gave off the bad boy or a typical troublemaker.

“Of course, Sir. What do you need help with?” You answered politely with a small smile as you put the books back onto the shelf as your eyes finally met.

Although you have a boyfriend… You had to admit he was dangerously hot for a bad boy. Somehow couldn’t keep your eyes off him even if you wanted to.

“Well, I need help with finding this book about butterflies, apparently these beautiful creatures have been very popular recently. Sorry let me explain, I work at a Tattoo Studio and I need some references to sketch them out. Lots of clients have been requesting butterfly tattoos. Sorry if I spoke too much.” He bowed his head as you stepped down from the ladder.

You couldn’t help but admire how passionately and confidently he was about his work, “my, that’s wonderful. I mean butterflies are unique and beautiful. But sure thing! I’ll help you find that book. Please follow me.” You said, bowing back and walking to the large shelf stacked with books about animals.

“I believe it should be on the uppermost shelf. Let me just get that for you.” You moved the ladder from the middle of the shelf to the left and carefully climbed up to the last step of it.

His hands reached out to hold the metal ladder, “let me just make sure I hold this for you. In case it moves around. I’d feel terrible if you fell.” He stated and looked up with a sweet smile on his face. “Ah, thank you,” You nodded and grabbed the book, stepping down. “Here you go, let’s go to the register so I can lend you the book.” He took the book, bowing his head as he followed me to the self-issue machine, “alright may I ask if you have the Korean Library Card?” The man nodded before, tugging his hand into his pocket and he pulled out a small wallet. He took the card out in a swift movement holding it between his index and middle finger.

“Here you go, Miss Miyoshi…” He said, looking at your name tag as you bowed, accepting the card with both of your hands. “Thank you.” You scanned the book and his card as the beeping sound of approval went through. “You have a month to return this book if you see any bruises or damages beforehand. Please contact the library as soon as possible.”

He took the book as you returned his card, “ah, thank you. May I ask a stupid question?” He looked at me waiting for your response. “Um, sure what is it, Sir?” The man asked the question in a foreign language when his voice changed slightly.

“もしかして、日本人ですか?” (Are you by any chance, Japanese?)

“ええと? もちろんです.” (Ehh? Of course I am.)

You’re not fully Japanese. You’re actually half Japanese and Korean. But speaking with this stranger you felt like not getting into too many details, fearing you would be met with prejudices.

You both chuckled, smiling at each other as you spoke in Korean again. “It’s very rare to find Japanese people in Seoul, so I was quite happy to find someone else like me.”

“中本。中本悠太です。はじめまして.” (I’m Nakamoto. Nakamoto Yuta. Nice to meet you.)

“Nice to meet you too, Nakamoto-san,” You replied to him in Japanese as you tugged some hair behind your ear. “Anyway thanks for all the help, I’ll take good care of this book.”

“またね.” (See you.) Nakamoto said as he turned around walking down the stairs as you admired his figure watching him as he left through the exit.

It was an unusual and rare encounter to stumble upon a Japanese person in Seoul.

You had a few hours left so you were just cleaning some empty dusty shelves just to kill time. It was finally 5:00 PM and you were off, the sun began to set soon, and the sky was a perfect mix of cold and warm contrasts. “Irene Unnie, I’m off.” You said, wrapping the blue scarf around your neck.

“Mhm. Great work today, Ms. Miyoshi. See you tomorrow and have a great evening.” You bowed and took your leave as you left through the back exit. You texted your dear boyfriend Bryce and made your way to Seocho station, waiting for the usual Line 2 to arrive.

You: “Hey, Babe.”

You: “I finished work, want to eat dinner together?”

You: “I’ve discovered this new restaurant nearby.”

You walked inside Line 2, headed towards Sindorim. Luckily you didn’t live too far away from the library, it was approximately 5-6 stops away and the trip would be around 20-30 minutes. Even closer to your roomie’s University, she studies at (SNU) Seoul National University. To your surprise, he replied for once and did not leave you on ‘read’.

Bryce: “I can't, I'm too busy right now and later tonight.”

Bryce: “Could you lend me some money?”

Bryce: “I’m quite broke. And I need a ride home.”

Although you really love Bryce, you wish he’d change and mature a bit. He always asks you for money, even though he got a full-time job as a waiter at a restaurant.

You: “How much is it this time?”

You felt frustrated with how often you’ve asked that same question within a month.

Bryce: “6,000₩.”

With a bit of hesitation, you sighed heavily before sending the money to him. “Always the same, nevertheless,” You told yourself as you saw that the station was Sindaebang and it was time for you to get off. You decided to dial your roommate, and she picked up while her voice sounded relaxed.

“What’s up, Y/N-Unnie?” The woman said while music was playing in the background. “Nothing much, have you eaten dinner yet, or are you with Jungkook? I’m almost home, just getting off the subway.”

“Hmmm? Didn’t you and Mr. Asshole Bryce have a dinner date tonight? Did that jerk stand you up again?” You could already imagine her raised eyebrows and frowned expression even though you only heard her voice. You used the elevator as you walked away from the station and headed toward your apartment building.

“No look, Chaeng it’s not like that.” You excused.

Who are you kidding…? Why do you always keep defending him…?

“Miyoshi Y/N. This is within 2 weeks and all he’s been doing is canceling all his plans and dates with you! Are you really okay dealing with this kind of bullshit? How many times are you gonna let it slide? Sheesh. When you’re home, we're going to talk about this.”

You knew Chaeyoung hates Bryce’s guts. But her scolding you make you feel sadder. You sighed as she hung up. Usually, she ends a phone call with a ‘see you at home’ or bye. But you could tell she was furious this time…

You went inside and headed to the first floor, you typed in the password halfway through as Chaeyoung opened the door before even letting you type the rest. “Come inside, we need to talk.” She said walking inside the kitchen, her voice was stern and serious, usually, Chaeng’s tone was playful and bright. But you suppose you’ve angered her by telling her that he stood you up once again and asked you for money. You hung your beige fall coat along with the tote bag on the coat rack and tugged your shoes on the shoe rack. “Sit down.” You sat down on the chair at our dinner table, looking up to see her with crossed arms.

“You’re mad. Aren’t you?” You said sheepishly, looking at her. “Mad? I am extremely outraged! Y/N, for fuck’s sake! He can’t just keep doing this to you!” She lashed out with her arm, pointing at the door. “Bryce can’t keep canceling all his dates with you and beg for money! That’s not what a real boyfriend would do!” You stood there dumbfounded not knowing how to respond so you chose to be silent. “Listen, I don’t want to be the one to break it to you. But–” You knew she had something hurtful to say but she chose not to say it, knowing it would most likely upset you. The tears started forming around your eyes as you felt yourself shake.

You’re used to Bryce scolding you and yelling at you. But it’s a different case when it’s your best friend, roommate, and childhood friend since you knew each other for so long. This was your first time hearing that raised voice of hers.

“Y/N. Miyoshi Y/N. You better not cry… Don’t cry. Don’t you dare cry over a jerk like that!” Chaeyoung said desperately but you were already whimpering and weeping, “sorry. I’m sorry, Chaeyoung… I’m so stupid and such a big idiot…” You apologized, looking down at the floor, your voice shaking, “don’t apologize, please don’t say that to yourself.” She said, wrapping her arms around me and giving me a tight hug.

“Look I’m sorry for raising my voice at you and scolding you, Unnie. I just don’t want Bryce to keep disrespecting and mistreating you like that and making yourself feel small because of him.” You nodded, wiping the tears away as you hugged her with your free arm. “Next time he cancels on you like that, I won't let it slide so easily.” You sighed and nodded rather quickly, “anyways, no I didn’t eat. I actually finished class at 3:00 PM. But I just dropped by Jungkook’s place for some of his hoodies I’ve borrowed. He’s been getting a lot of night shifts in Daegu, so we’ve been face-timing a lot,” Chaeyoung chatted as you listened.

Unlike your hopeless relationship with Bryce, Jungkook seems to genuinely care about Chaeng. After all, they started dating 6 months ago.

“Wanna go and grab some delicious spicy blue crabs, Unnie?” Chaeyoung asked, holding her car keys up and rustling them. “I’d love to, Chaeng! Let me just change, these heels have been killing me all day!”

You wore a black knee-length skirt and some stockings underneath paired with a loose light blue sweater. “Are you ready, Chaeng?” You exclaimed, putting on your black Mary Jane shoes, “yeah I’m born ready, shall we go?” She said, wearing her black Converse sneakers, ripped denim jeans, and a white t-shirt.

Yuta went back to the tattoo studio as he showed the book to his co-workers. “Hey, you two. Check out these beautiful butterflies.”

“Thanks to the recent Korean Dramas, ‘NeverTheLess’ and ‘It’s Okay To Not Be Okay’ that have been so popular.” Ten voiced, cleaning the counter as Johnny swept the floor. “Hmm what should we eat for dinner?” He asked, looking at the two of them.

“On such a windy day how about some warm and cozy Soon-dubu Jji-gae?” Yuta suggested, flipping through the pages of his book.

“That doesn’t sound too bad, Johnny and I will get it while you keep an eye on the place.” Ten said, smiling as he got his leather jacket and helmet. “Right, we’ll be right back, Yuta,” Johnny said, walking out with him. When Yuta picked up his phone as a woman spoke.

“Ah Miya-chan, what’s up? You’re nearby?” He replied in Japanese, looking out the window.

“Well, I’m about to eat dinner. Wanna join us?”

“No, I'm alone at the studio right now, should we see each other tonight? Alright.” He hung up as he sketched some messy doodles of butterflies.

“Annyeonghaseyo, two spicy blue crabs, please.~” While Chaeyoung ordered as you waited for the waitress to find you a clean table. She seated you two at a table near the window as you bowed soon after Chaeyoung returned, sitting across from you. “It’ll be ready in less than 40 minutes or so,” she informed me when two guys walked by the window as she waved. They entered as Chaeyoung greeted them with a cool handshake, the one guy usually does when they greet each other.

“What’s up, Suh?” Chaeyoung said, leaning back a bit as she laughed, “sorry, you know I like joking around with your name, dude.” You got up and you bowed your head.

These two must be one of Chaeyoung’s many friends. You felt a bit overwhelmed since you aren’t used to being around people that you hardly know.

Chaeyoung wrapped an arm around me as she smiled, “this cutie pie right here is Y/N Miyoshi. Y/N, this tall giant is Johnny Suh and the sexy dude is Ten Lee.” The tall man bowed too as he smiled, “it’s nice to meet you Ms. Y/N.” Ten stepped forward, also greeting me, “yeah, it’s an honor meeting Chaeyoung’s cute roomie that she always talks so much about.”

“It’s a pleasure meeting you two as well,” You said and smiled as Chaeyoung hugged you, “anyways what are you getting? Wanna eat together?” Your eyes widened at her words. “Chaeng…” You gently hit her shoulder as a warning, “we’re just going to order the Soon-dubu Jji-gae to the studio,” Johnny said, chuckling at me. “What about Osaka Prince? Is he at the studio or with Miyawaki-chan?” She asked, rubbing her shoulder and giggling at me. “He’s at the studio, but I wouldn’t be too surprised if she actually decides to visit or even call him.” Ten answered as he went to order.

“Say, do Osaka Prince and Miyawaki-chan have a thing going on between them, or are they just messing around?” Chaeyoung questioned, resting her chin on the back of her hand.

“I think they’re close but not dating, you feel me? Lately these days he’s just been very focused on his artwork. And Miya on her modeling career.” You stared at your phone, trying to distract yourself from not engaging in this conversation.

“Here’s your spicy blue crabs and a large bowl of hot steamed rice,” the waitress placed the plates of food on the table. You expressed your thanks, “man this looks way better than the last time we ordered it!”

Chaeyoung said as she grabbed a piece of crab. “Well, bon appetit to the both of you, later, Chae,” Johnny said, leaving with Ten who got their order. You used a spoon to scoop out the delicious spicy crab meat as you placed it on a riceball topped with a piece of seaweed.

You hummed in response to the tasty dinner as Chaeyoung smiled, “wah, it sure is intense, want to get a drink?” She asked, fanning her mouth as you nodded, “excuse me could we order some drinks, please?” The waitress caught your attention as she asked, “Sure, what would you like to drink?” The waitress held her pencil and notepad. “One banana milk and a glass of water–”

“–Strawberry Soju, pleaseee~” Chaeyoung interrupted as she giggled, chewing her rice. “Ehh? Chaeng, don't you have classes tomorrow morning? Is it alright for you to get this drunk on a Tuesday evening like this–?” You asked when she wrapped an arm around you, “–don’t worry, after all, you’ll make the best hangover soup, hehe.~” You sighed in response after finishing your meal.

“Alright, banana milk and a bottle of strawberry Soju coming right up,” she said, noting it down as she excused herself. “What time do you get up for your morning class tomorrow?” You asked, ready to set alarms cause she usually blacks out after drinking just one bottle. “Mine starts at 8:00 AM, it’s just art history and repetition of important keywords.” Chaeyoung said, texting on her phone, “ah that’s nice, well you always loved art so much. So I know you’ll be just fine,” You laughed, pointing at the tattoo behind her ear.

“Oh yeah. That reminds me that I need a new tattoo! Can you tag along with me, this Thursday? Jungkook has an investigation to do in Busan so unfortunately, he can’t join me this time,” she said, eating some rice in a piece of seaweed. “Umm, I don’t know, I’ve never been to a Tattoo Studio before Chaeng–”

“–That’s okay, you just have to be my moral support while I get the cherries done on my right shoulder,” giggling as her cute dimples appeared.

“Here are your drinks, sorry for the long wait,” the waitress placed them down, “enjoy.”

Chaeyoung popped the bottle open and took a long sip. “Say, did you meet any cute guys at the library today?~” She asked you all of a sudden, “ehh Chaeng? What are you talking about? I’m too focused while at work and besides, I got a boyfriend!” Finishing your banana milk as her question made you super flustered. “Aw come on, you’re in a good mood today. I can tell you met someone special,” pressing both of her arms on the table as she winked at me.

Was it that obviously written on your face?

“Well, I met this Japanese man who wanted a book about butterflies… It was work-related to his Tattoo Studio.” You mumbled, your cheeks slowly burning up with shyness. “Ahh, that’s sorta sweet. What was he like? Cute? Attractive? Strong? Handsome?” Chaeyoung asked question after question, “he had black jet hair, umm lots of piercings, and sorta gave me bad boy vibes. He seemed passionate about his work, a very sweet smile” You added, thinking back at him.

“You seem to be sorta crushing on him, Miyoshi.~” She pointed out as you tried to deny it, “Chaeng it’s not like that… I have a boyfriend and so what if I find him handsome?–” You covered your lousy mouth immediately after admitting that. “Oh my~ Y/N seems too naughty and mischievous, hehe~” Chaeyoung giggled, she was clearly already tipsy after emptying half of that Soju bottle.

“Look Chaeng, I’m not cheating on Bryce. Besides he was just a kind stranger, I don’t think I’ll ever meet him again.” You said with a subtle sad tone in your voice as you fidgeted with your plastic straw. “Well it’s not like it’s impossible, you know it’s all about chance.~” She smirked teasingly as you finished your banana milk and got up, “come on, let’s get you home, drunk strawberry,” wrapping her arm around you as she stood up. “Yeah, yeah. Mom.” She said, the bottle in her hand as you chuckled.

“You got any cigs?” She asked, straddling his lap as he kissed her neck. “I do. In my leather jacket, Miya-chan,” Yuta said, kissing her collarbones as his hands ran up and down her back. “Mhm~ Nakamoto-kun, you’re so handsome~” Miyawaki giggled, kissing him deeply, “so what time should we meet later?”

Yuta hummed, looking at the clock “let’s say 10:30 PM?” He suggested, rubbing her thigh slightly as he had a sly smirk. “Deal. Don’t keep me waiting,” she said, giving him a slightly mean look as he chuckled. “I’ll try, I’ll try.”

“Ohh so we got a visitor.” The tall man joked as he placed the plastic bag of food on the table. Ten followed him as he chuckled, “so she came after all, what’s up, Miyawaki?” He waved, grabbing a pair of chopsticks, “nothing much, just stopped by to say hi to Nakamoto-kun,” Miyawaki said, eyeing Johnny as she got off Yuta’s lap.

“What, did you order this time? Tteokbokki and Ramyun?” She walked over, checking the plastic bag, “no. Yuta wanted some warm and cozy Soon-dubu Jji-gae on a windy day like this.” Ten said, getting some bottles of Yakult from the refrigerator.

“Ohh yeah, we had to tell you that Chae and her cute roomie said hi.” Johnny said, handing him a bowl and a wooden spoon, “are you eating too, Miyawaki?”

Ten asked, holding out a bottle of Yakult. “Mmm, no. I think I should get going, see you later, Nakamoto-kun~” she said, kissing Yuta’s cheek as she left. “Always leaving so quickly, does she not like us?” Johnny asked, slurping the delicious spicy sauce. “Yeah, it feels like Ms. Miyawaki always seems to be in a hurry whenever we show up.” Ten added, drinking his Yakult. “It’s not like that. I mean she got a boyfriend and that's why she’s always rushing off,” he said, taking a sip of his Yakult, “she’s not my girlfriend, but she always comes to me whenever Hisashi is troubling her.”

We were finally home as your roomie was busy throwing up in the bathroom, you knew you’d had to go and get her some medicine. You knocked on the door, “everything alright, Chaeng?”

“Yuh… could you get me some meds?” She panted as you nodded in response, “just one packet?”

“Make it two… also some headache pills.”

“Alright, I’ll be right back,” You said, walking to get your shoes.

Yup. That’s your roommate, short, black pixie cut-styled hair, dark brown eyes, and fair skin. Son Chaeyoung, 23 years old, is a wild and outgoing woman who always parties and goes nightclubbing. Super creative and artistic, her sense of fashion is quite trendy, chic, sorta tomboyish, and highly influenced by street style. You rarely see Chaeng in skirts or dresses as she prefers pants or shorts. She’s studying Fine Arts and Performing Arts at Seoul National University, also known as “SNU”. She gets along with pretty much anyone due to her naturally extroverted and funny personality. She has been your roommate for almost 2 years now.

“Hello, may I ask for two packets of hangover medicine and a pack of headache pills?” You asked, walking to the counter of the pharmacy. “Of course, Miss, do you need anything else?” The cashier asked, “ah, no thank you,” You responded and bowed, paying.

“So what are you and Miyawaki Sakura?” Johnny asked, standing outside with him.

“Friends with benefits, only using each other solely for a short moment of embrace and pleasure,” Yuta said with a cigarette in his mouth, “so that we’re happy with ourselves.” A small flame lit as he inhaled and then exhaled the smoke. “Right, I guess it does work for some people. There’s no need to be in love or committed in that type of relationship I suppose.” Johnny shrugged, walking inside.

“I suppose not,” Yuta scoffed, watching the night sky as he sighed heavily.

“When is it ready?” Chaeyoung groaned, lying in her bed as you sat by her side. “In around 2 hours, I’m still boiling the ox bones for the flavorful broth.” Moving her bangs away you put a damp piece of cloth on Chaeyoung’s forehead.

“Man this sucks balls!” She yelled out frustrated, “well, if I remember correctly you’re the one who wanted to drink strawberry Soju on a Tuesday evening?” You replied sassily as she pouted.

“Next time, if I ever drink again on such an evening. Please, hit me as hard as you can, Y/N!” You laughed, poking her cheek, “alright, just get some rest. I’ll wake you up once it’s ready.”

You went back to the kitchen checking on the ox bones as you poured them into a sieve. Using the liquid for the broth added the napa cabbages, green chilis, minced garlic, and some Korean fermented soybean paste.

You opened your manga, ‘Say I Love You’, and began reading from where you left off last time. You were into the plot, how Mei was bullied and how she grew cautious of people around her as a result. In a way you could relate to that, not trusting anyone and being so cold. You drowned in the chapter when the male lead suddenly kissed her.

Suddenly the timer went off as the soup was ready. “Here you go, Chaeng.” You placed the tray of porridge and a glass of hot water. “Thank you, Unnie… You’ve saved me!” Chaeyoung exclaimed as she chuckled.

“I’ll let you eat and rest, if you need something just call me. I’ll be in the living room watching anime, okay?” You walked out glimpsing at her as she signaled a thumbs up.

Listening to the cheerful opening, ‘My Sweet Heart’ as you were watching Tokyo Mew Mew. Then suddenly your mother called her on the phone.

Ehh? Facetime? You guess mom has some good news. “Ah good evening, mom. What’s going on?”

“Mmm, I thought I’d call you to let you know that your aunt, Asami, is visiting Seoul with your niece, Ayaka.”

“Ah, that’s great news. When will they arrive?”

“Wednesday or Thursday, they’ll visit your uncle in Jeju Islands first.”

“How is everything with sweet Bryce?”

You didn’t feel like talking about him. But mom has no idea how it is between the two of us right now. You should tell her the truth.

“お母さん…” (Mom…)

“Yes, my dear Y/N?”

“When are you and Appa visiting Seoul again?”

You knew it. After all, you couldn’t bring yourself to explain what had happened between you two.

“Mmm, changing the subject all of a sudden, Y/N-chan? Is Bryce nearby? I want to say hi to him.”

“Bryce is studying with his classmates. Sorry that you can’t see him this time, mom.”

I’m sorry, mom. But you don’t want her to see you hurt.

“Alright, how’s Chaeyoung and her boyfriend?”

“Good, Chaeng’s sleeping right now. She has classes early in the morning tomorrow.”

“What are you watching?”

“Tokyo Mew Mew, but I have to go. I have a lot of work tomorrow.”

“おやすみなさい、お母さん.” (Good night, mom.)

“はい、またね.” (Yes, see you.)

You sighed, turning off the TV. “You should have told her the truth, Y/N, you idiot.” You scolded yourself, hugging your knees.

“Hmm, Nakamoto.~” The woman mumbled, kissing his neck as he traced his fingertips on her back. “Miya-chan,” Yuta whispered, unclasping her bra as she kissed his lips.

“I really like you, Nakamoto-kun.”

These deceiving and empty words of yours. They always gave me hope for our relationship, but I know that in the morning you’ll go back to him.

“I like you too, Miya-chan,” Yuta mumbled before kissing Miyawaki’s neck and collarbones as they embraced each other.

“Should I go down on you first?” Yuta asked, looking at her as she nodded. “I need you, Nakamoto-kun.”

He chuckled, pulling her panties down to her feet as she spread her legs. “Mmh, you’re not as sweet as you were the last time. You taste a bit more salty this time.” Yuta said, licking Miyawaki’s clit as he locked eyes with her.

“That’s because Hisashi is stressing me out.”

“You should just break up with that loser already if he’s not pleasing you in bed.” Yuta scoffed, licking her folds as he stuck two fingers inside her pussy.

“Ahh… it’s not that easy, you know, mmh… Nakamoto-kun.” Miyawaki pouted, throwing her head back. Yuta licked her folds roughly and thoroughly, getting a good taste of her. “I guess not,” Yuta scoffed, sucking on her swollen clit as he moved his tongue up and down her lips. “Ahh…! Besides, we’ve been together for 2 years now, we can’t just break up.” Miyawaki moaned as she came inside his mouth and he licked it clean.

That’s enough. I’m tired of always hearing that excuse.

“Then if your relationship is so serious, why do you always run back to me whenever you have problems with him? Am I your replacement for Hisashi?” Yuta scoffed, getting up as their eyes met in a mean glare.

“Yuta-kun… You know that’s not it. I…” Miyawaki stammered as she sat up. Yuta sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Sorry, I guess that was rude of me to say it like that,” Yuta said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Even if you were right, it gives you no right to speak like that to me, Nakamoto-kun.” Miyawaki belted as she began to put her panties and the rest of her clothes on.

“Where are you going?”

“Home. Don’t talk to me.”

The woman walked out, smacking the door. Yuta sighed, throwing himself on the bed as he stared at the ceiling.

“I’m such an asshole.” He had a sad smile plastered on his face, he closed his eyes.

“もしかして、日本人ですか?” (Are you by any chance Japanese?)

“ええと? もちろんです.” (Ehh? Of course I am.)

“It’s very rare to find Japanese people in Seoul, so I was quite happy to find someone else like me.”

“中本悠太です. はじめまして.” (I’m Nakamoto Yuta. Nice to meet you.)

“Nice to meet you too, Nakamoto-san.”

“Anyway thanks for all the help, I’ll take good care of this book.”

“またね.” (See you.)

Why am I thinking of that pretty woman? She’s like an angel.

Yuta woke up early as he brushed his teeth. “Hopefully Miya-chan isn’t too angry with what happened yesterday… Maybe I should call her later to make up.” He mumbled and started the shower.

The next morning you woke up early to make lunch for yourself and Chaeyoung.

Chaeng probably wants some tasty rice for lunch when she’s slightly hungover from yesterday. “Right, let me just add some fresh cherry tomatoes and lettuce too.”

“Morning’ Unnie,” Chaeyoung yawned as she rubbed her head, “feeling better, Chaeng?” She bopped her head.

“What do you want to eat? You asked, washing the pan under some hot water. “I’ll have some fried eggs and toast.” Chaeyoung hummed, putting the towel on her shoulder. “I’m gonna shower, do you want to use the bathroom before I do that?” You shook your head as she went to the bathroom.

“Um, what do you want to drink? Tea, coffee, or hot cocoa?” Knocking on the door as you waited for her response.

“I’ll have some iced coffee, Unnie.” You heard the sound of water boiling in the kettle as you went back to the kitchen to cook breakfast.

“Thanks for always looking out for me, Unnie.” Chaeyoung smiled, eating her toast topped with fried eggs.

“No need to thank me, you’re my best friend and roommate after all. So it’s only natural we look out and take care of each other.” You responded, eating your steamed rice and pickled cucumbers.

“We really need to find you a new boyfriend soon, you gorgeous girl.” She giggled, sipping on iced coffee.

“What time do you finish classes?”

“Uhh, around 1-2 PM, why wanna hang out?”

“Yeah, maybe we can go shopping or eat lunch together?”

Chaeyoung nodded as she put on her sneakers, “see you later, Unnie.” You hugged her, “have a nice day at school, bye-bye.”

You put on a chiffon blouse and some loose pants. You greeted Ms. Irene as you began sitting in front of the computer, ordering a couple of new arrivals books.

“So what piercing do you want to get?” Yuta asked, showing him pictures of piercings.

“Just my right eyebrow, dude. Like the silver piercing.”

“Got it, Mark.”

“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about getting one for so long.”

“Why haven’t you gotten it sooner?”

“Been too busy with work and training. To even think about it, heh.”

“Woah! I didn’t know that you had gotten a new tattoo, Yuta.”

“Oh, this one? I got it a few weeks ago.” Yuta replied, lifting his shirt a bit as it revealed his beautiful butterfly.

“I got it to showcase what a butterfly tattoo would look like. But somehow this small tattoo turned out to be more meaningful and special to me.” He added, smiling to himself.

When Yuta thought back to when he first encountered Miyawaki Sakura…

“Say, what does this butterfly tattoo mean?” Miyaki asked, looking at his abs.

“The ugliness and pain of happiness, and lack of freedom. That’s what butterfly tattoos symbolize.” Yuta scoffed, finishing his glass of beer as she giggled. “That’s so cool, I kinda like that,” she smiled, hugging his arm.

“Yah, what’s up friends?” Chaeyoung entered as she placed her tote bag on the table. “What brings you here, Chae?” Johnny asked, folding his arms. “Yeah, don’t you have classes right now?” Ten added, looking at her. Mark greeted her as she did the same.

“Yes. I do. But my other class was canceled because our professor had a meeting to attend.”

“Anyways, I’m going to eat my lunch here. Is that okay?”

“As long as you share. Cause that looks really good, Chae.” Mark said, looking at her bento box.

“Well, it looks different from your usual healthy salad and fruits. Are you the one who made it?” Yuta asked, glancing at the onigiris, egg rolls, octopus hotdogs, lettuce, and cherry tomatoes. “No, it’s my lovely roomie who made it!” She snickered, eating an onigiri. “No way, the woman we met yesterday made this bento lunch for you?” Ten exclaimed, eating an egg roll.

This Japanese style of boxed bento looks incredible. I wonder if it tastes as good as it looks.

Yuta took a bite of the riceball and then a bite of the egg roll. “Woah, this is really delicious.”

It’s almost as good as from home. Eating this sure brings me back… This is one of my favorite foods after all…

“Your roommate… What does she look like, Chaeyoung?”

“Mmm, are you curious, Osaka Prince?~” Chaeyoung teased as she held her phone up showing her lock screen. It was a picture of her and that woman, they were in tank tops doing silly faces.

It’s her… that woman. She lives with Chaeyoung. The librarian I met yesterday - that’s her. She looks even prettier than I remember.

“That’s Miyoshi Y/N, for you boys,” Chaeyoung said all proud as she ate her cherry tomatoes. Y/N… So that’s her name.

“So is she single?” Ten asked, poking his elbow at Mark. “Yo dude, why are you looking at me? You’re the one who needs a girlfriend, I’m way too busy with work.” Mark laughed, leaning back on the couch as he ate an egg roll wrapped in lettuce.

“Yo, back off boys, this pretty woman is sadly taken.”

It’s no surprise that a stunning woman like her is taken. Somehow it just hurts my heart a little. “By who?” Mark asked, “by some guy named Bryce, tch I hate him to guts.” Chaeyoung rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. Bryce and Y/N, huh?

“Yuta-Hyung, are you stalking Ms. Miyoshi?” Mark asked, watching him scroll through Chaeyoung’s Instagram feed. “I just want to know her a little better, actually she works at the library not too far from here.”

You were stacking some unopened manga books on top of the shelf as you sighed, “Ms. Irene, I think we need to dust off the shelves before stacking more books on top.”

“Ah yes, let me just get the dust brush.” She walked to the staff’s room as you moved a couple of books on the edge. Then you went down, moving the ladder to the left side as you leaned against the shelf, checking your phone for any notifications.

Why won’t he answer me? I really miss Bryce…

You: “I want to see you later…”

You: “I really miss you.”

You sighed as Irene handed you the brush, “thank you, Ms. Irene,” she folded her arms, “just be careful, Ms. Miyoshi, alright?” She walked back to the counter, helping a woman that had borrowed a bunch of books.

You got up again but this time at the uppermost step of the ladder. It was shaking slightly as you began to dust it off. You tried to reach for the corner but felt your feet lose balance when you suddenly fell. “W-Woah!”

A couple of romance and Shoujo manga books were scattered all over the floor, along with your left heel too. The fall didn’t feel like anything. That was because someone had caught you, with the same black nail polish-painted hands, pierced ears, and dark black hair.

“Nakamoto-san…”

“–Are you alright? You’re not hurt, are you?”

Somehow you landed on his lap, your right arm on his shoulder as your left hand was on his chest and his right hand was on your leg. In that instant, you were sorta taken aback by this kind of closure between you two.

In a way, it was too intimidating to meet his fine and flirtatious gaze. You looked down when and noticed the butterfly tattoo on his abs, “ah, sorry.” You mumbled, getting off his lap as his hand traced your leg, “wait,” Yuta said, reaching for your left heel as you got flustered. “It’s alright, I can do that myself, Nakamoto-san–” You answered.

“–You were the one who fell so let me at least help you a little.” He said, looking at you with his sexy eyes as he gently tugged your left foot into the heel.

Heh, we’re wearing the same color of nail polish. What’s this silver anklet on her left ankle? A tiny turtle shell… How cute.

“どうもありがとう…” (Thank you very much…)

“どういたしまして.” (You’re welcome.)

“I was dusting off the shelf when I reached for the corner, I lost balance and fell.” You explained briefly, standing up as you stroked your hair.

I didn’t think I’d meet him again… What’s Nakamoto-san doing here?

“It’s a good thing you’re alright, Miyoshi-san,” Yuta said, getting up as he flashed you a soft smile. He handed you a couple of “Kimi Ni Todoke” mangas that had fallen and you bowed. “Yes. Um, I should get back to work.” You mumbled, feeling your cheeks burn up as you turned to the shelf avoiding his gaze.

Nakamoto-san’s dangerous. He makes your heart skip a beat. It's best to not look him directly in the eyes. He’s probably just a player.

“Ah, actually I came here to borrow another book.” He said, chuckling as you turned around. “Ah, what book is it?”

How come, this beautiful and cute woman was taken by some guy? It’s no use but I can't help but fall for her.

“It’s actually a manga, it’s called ‘Perfect Crime’. It’s one of my favorites.” Yuta said, smirking slightly. “Alright. Then please follow me.” You said, tying your hair up in a ponytail.

“Here it is,” You said, handing him the manga. “Thank you. Mmh, your silver anklet is really pretty.” Yuta smirked, averting his eyes to your ankle. “Ehh? Oh, you mean on my ankle.” You turned your heel as the turtle shell jewelry was wiggling. “Yeah, it’s really cute.” Yuta pursed his lips, looking into your eyes.

What’s with this guy… Is he flirting with me…? “Thank you, turtles are actually my favorite animals.” You responded, scanning his book and ID card. “They’re interesting animals,” Yuta added, watching you.

“Here you go, Nakamoto-san.” You gave him the book as his hand touched yours, “thank you, Miyoshi-san.”

I don’t want it to be the last time I see Miyoshi Y/N. I’ll get another book again another day. If that means that I can keep seeing her then I don’t want it to end yet.

“You’re welcome, anyways I’ve got to go now. I’m off.”

“Ah hey Chaeng. Yeah, I’m just finished, let me just get my things.” You said, applying your brand new cherry lip balm as you pursed your lips. Yuta glanced over, eyes focused on your lips. He couldn’t help but admire your soft lips, wondering what it feels like to kiss them. He looked away as you looked back at him.

Those red lips are so pretty… makes me want to kiss them.

You walked towards the exit when Yuta poked your shoulder, naturally, you turned around.

How do I not lose you? I want to see you…

“Ano… will you be here tomorrow again?” Yuta asked, rubbing the back of his head. “Ehh?” You mumbled, not knowing how to respond to his question. “Sure I will. May I ask, why?” You put your phone in the purse as you looked at him. “I might need help with finding several manga and books. I’d figure you’d be able to find the original ones released in Japanese.”

“Ah well. Of course.” You replied, smiling softly at him as you headed down the stairs.

“またね、中本悠太さん.” (See you, Mr. Nakamoto Yuta.) You waved and looked back at him exiting the library.

“So you met him again? And getting a closeup of his butterfly tattoo, mmm?~” Chaeyoung teased, eating her spicy salad as you sighed. “I wasn’t looking at his abs intentionally, Chaeng… You know…” You mumbled as your cheeks were pink from blushing. “It’s not my fault he was wearing a white mesh shirt…”

“Sure, sure. It’s okay to look at other hot guys when your boyfriend is so shitty, Unnie.”

“Chaeng!” You exclaimed as she sighed, “really… Unnie, you should break up with him, besides there are much nicer guys than him. Like Johnny, Ten, and Osaka Prince, you know.” You sighed, eating your Vietnamese spring rolls.

Although she’s right you just can’t seem to admit it. Somehow you believe that Bryce could change for your sake. But if that was true then he wouldn't ignore you and actually answer your texts…

“But let’s not talk about him now. I’m doing my art project next month and the focus is on the female anatomy. I was wondering if you could be my muse for the project?” Chaeyoung asked, sliding a piece of paper on the table as you checked it out.

“That’s so interesting, what exactly would you want me to do?”

“I’m thinking of taking some pictures of you. Like this, would that be okay with you?” She asked, showing me a naked woman hiding her chest with a white blanket.

“You want me to be naked for your pictures and sketches…?” You mumbled, feeling very shy just the thought of that.

“I know it’s very out of your comfort zone but I’ll make sure to cover your breasts, nudity, and private parts. Also, I’m in a group with other girls and my professor is a woman too.”

“I’ll think about it, Chaeng. I mean it’s your art project so I won’t reject it. And besides, this means a lot to you, so I don’t mind doing it.” You added, drinking your mango basil seed drink as Chaeyoung’s eyes sparkled with excitement.

“Yay! Omg, thank you Y/N! Unnie, you’re the best!” She exclaimed, putting her hands together and expressing her gratitude for you. “No problem, Chaeng girl. Let’s go shopping now.”

“I can show you a few of my sketches later,” she hummed as you nodded.

“By the way, thanks for the bento you made earlier, it was so delicious! Even the boys loved it!” Chaeyoung said, chuckling as she locked arms with you.

“Ehh? You didn’t eat lunch on campus?”

“Nope, I finished class early after I discussed my project with the professor.”

“Let me guess it was Mr. Suh and Mr. Lee?” You asked as she giggled, “what’s with you using honorifics, just call them by their names.” Chaeyoung said and smiled.

“But I don’t know them that well…” You muttered, looking at her. “Unnie, they consider you as their friend, the tall guy’s Johnny, and the slim guy’s Ten,” Chaeyoung explained as you looked at her. She was being honest and genuine. “But I don’t know how to talk to them… I’m not as cool as you are–”

“–Y/N, don’t doubt yourself so much! You’re amazing and so cool. I’m lucky to have you as my roomie.”

“What do you think?” You asked, wearing a black leather miniskirt for the first time. Chaeyoung whistled and smirked, “wow, Y/N-Unnie you look so fine! So pretty!”

“You think so? Isn’t the length a bit too short?” You said shyly, looking at the way the skirt was sitting on your butt while posing in front of the mirror.

“So what? You should definitely wear it for the party!”

You turned around looking at the mirror reflection and how the skirt looked on you. “I don’t know what to pair this skirt with… I mean I usually don’t wear anything above my knees…” You sighed as Chaeyoung massaged your shoulders, “don’t worry about it, Unnie. I’ll help you out, any outfit paired with your beauty is going to be perfect!”

“This sports bra or the other one?” Chaeyoung asked, holding a sports bra in each hand.

“Mhm, I really like the white one. It’ll look so nice on you.” You said, smiling.

“What should we eat for dinner tonight?” Chaeyoung asked, opening the refrigerator as she looked over at me.

“Mmh, I don’t know. What about Kimchi Jjigae?”

“Sure thing. Let’s do that, Unnie.”

“We can add small pieces of chicken breast,” You said, opening the refrigerator and pulling out a plastic bag with raw chicken.

“You seem to be in quite a good mood, Yuta.” Ten said, drinking some water. “Mhm. I do?” He asked, drawing some birds on a piece of paper. “Yeah, earlier you were sulking and frowning a lot, I’d figure you fought with Miyawaki?” Ten asked as he sighed, “we did, she ended up leaving earlier yesterday. I should call her and apologize.”

“Don’t you want to break off things with her for a change, Yuta?” Johnny asked, checking the cash register as they looked at each other. “I probably should, I mean Miya-chan is already in a relationship. I can’t be her second choice all the time she gets into a fight with him.”

“Apologize? For what exactly, Yuta?”

“I got mad at her for always calling me whenever she fought with Hisashi.” Yuta scoffed, drinking a sip from his water bottle.

“Hmm, you and Miyawaki only see each other once or twice a week right?”

“That’s right, I thought it was better to hook up with Miyawaki every night,” Yuta admitted, rubbing the back of his head. “I hate sleeping alone.”

🦋✨🐢🦋✨🐢🦋✨🐢🦋✨🐢🦋✨🐢🦋✨🐢🦋✨🐢

A/N: Thanks for reading, all likes, reblogs and comments mean a lot to me, let me know if you want me to add extra tags or something. 💞

< Teaser – Next part >

🦋✨🐢🦋✨🐢🦋✨🐢🦋✨🐢🦋✨🐢🦋✨🐢🦋✨🐢

#Yuta Fanfic: Like a butterfly #Nakamoto Yuta #Yuta #Yuta Nakamoto #Yuta x Reader #Yuta x Y/N #Reader x Yuta #Lee Min Hyung #Mark #Mark Lee #NCT 127 #Johnny #Johnny Suh #Seo Young Ho #NCT #Ten #Ten Lee #Li Yongqin #Boy Groups #Kpop #Girl Groups #Chaeyoung #Son Chaeyoung #Twice #NCT Fanfic #NCT 127 Fanfic #NCT 127 Fanfiction #Yuta Fanfic #Nakamoto Yuta Fanfic #Kpop Fanfic

[waltwhitmansbeard]

hey bestieeee I'm back to bother you in your inbox about the grow with the flow au because I'm so obsessed what does korrin think of the podcast? how do you think he feels about his daughter having a huge fanbase? I imagine in Zephrah it's like when one person from a small town gets famous and she's like the featured alumni from her school and everyone is so proud of her and listens all the time

um wow okay i have never even THOUGHT about korrin in this au before, i am a FAKE FAN

idk why but i get luddite vibes from korrin, not that he like hates technology or anything, he just doesn't get it. like he's still got a flip phone and a netflix account he doesn't know the password for. so it takes keyleth a while to get him to understand what a podcast is—"it's like a radio show that people can listen to on their phone on their own time, dad"—but he's proud of her doing something she loves. he'd never guess that she could make money off of it or become easily the most famous person to ever come out of zephrah.

he listens when he can remember how and he texts her encouraging comments and suggestions that she immediately screenshots and shares with her fans. idk if you know the game grumps but i imagine korrin becomes like dan's father avi, just an absolute Dad who Doesn't Understand but Supports You Anyway, and the fans love him. then he starts ending his gwtf-related texts with 'tell my fans i love them!'

definitely ppl listen in zephrah, it's a small town and everyone misses her. i think keyleth talks about her hometown a lot and credits the people there with teaching her what she knows about nature and plant life. everyone is so proud of her and omg def the library has get-together to watch her livestream and she's always chatting with them in the comments.

TW STALKING FOR THIS NEXT PART

one of keyleth and vax's biggest fights is over whether they tell korrin about the stalker. keyleth is adamant that her dad not know bc she doesn't want to worry him, and vax argues that if his daughter were being harassed and he didn't know he'd throw himself off a bridge. it isn't until other people start being brought into the harassment that keyleth finally tells him, and korrin shows up The Next Day ready to burn the city down for his little girl.

#ask #romeoandjulietyouwish #grow with the flow au

[jeskoholic]

A Little Piece of You Chapter 11: Truth Among Lies

This is a chapter from an on-going series. If you missed out on the previous entries, you can check my masterlist.

Previous Chapter: Sizzling Hot

Word count: 4,007

Tags: M OC x (G) I-DLE Soyeon, University, Angst, Struggle (?)

Enjoy!

Getting my top blown off in front of my newfound friends was possibly one of the worst things I could do, and in just one lunch break I did exactly that. I was so numb and triggered at everything that escaped Hongseok’s mouth that I just flat out lost all sense of self-control and got angry at him. Now that I look back at it, I felt so stupid doing that. I never should have let him get to my head because I know that he’s just trying to find an answer from me regardless of how stupid it was, and I did all of that in front of Ningning too. It would have been better if it were either Kyungsoo, Dawn, Shinwon, Kino, or even Soyeon that saw me emotional like that… allowing myself to crumble apart in front of them two was absurd. I felt so disappointed with myself.

I should have just let it slide. Remembering things that happened during high school and associating them with the things that are happening now is not the most optimal way to go. It’s worse when my past traumas are starting to affect the way I look at things in the present. The end result was Ningning chose to be the driver by introducing a different topic, yet I could tell that they were being careful about their words around me. I hope that they didn’t think of me differently; this was even the first time I am spending time with Hongseok and now I blew it on the first chance I ever got. He was even nice enough to order and pay for my shake…

No matter how much I try to keep myself away from the thought of what happened, I cannot deny though that Hongseok had a valid point in his query. Maybe I was just overthinking about things. I was so busy on proving my point to him that what I thought was actually the right thing. My pride was being stepped on and my first action was to retaliate, which is so stupid and borderline childish.

I spent the afternoon away from them for the best interests of everyone else. I would go far as to say that I temporarily separated my links from them and went to the place that I deem would seclude me from each and every single one of them: the university library. I was sure that not even a single one of them would think to go up there. At least, I could have a couple of minutes to myself while I reflect on my actions; at the same time attempting to keep the issue down. However, as I sat down and wait for the hours to pass, I could still hear the thoughts swirling in my head. It was like I was debating against an invisible Hongseok as I attempt to keep my point across.

I still don’t understand why I should really do things in response to Soyeon’s advances. I just don’t get it. I would feel like if I would do that, I’ll unintentionally force myself onto a situation, a relationship, which I didn’t even want in the beginning. Soyeon’s no doubt a talented and amazing person not to mention beautiful, but I can’t deny that she has her traits that are not… compatible with me, exactly. Seeing red flags like that are things that I do not want to blatantly ignore just because of her reputation. In the end, I would be in a relationship with her heart and not her face or her fame. The fact that she’s a part of this newfound ‘squad’ enticed another series of fears in my head because either way, it was a loss either way. If I chose what I believe was right, or if I choose a decision favourable to her and it would not work out, I might cause an unintentional rift at the group.

Hongseok’s point, on the other hand, felt like a very childish reason and I never was a fan on why he even brought that to the table. I should not let Soyeon go because it’s like a huge privilege to have someone like her develop feelings for me? Does Hongseok think that I’m not worthy of someone with such a huge calibre such as Jeon Soyeon, so I should be flattered that she even confessed that she likes me?

But then again; I can’t blame him because he can only judge us by the surface level. Hongseok, or even the rest of the friend group, had no idea what was going behind the scenes. Soyeon proved herself in many ways that she indeed had feelings for me, but would say that being too erotic is not the love language that I was seeking. I would be a hypocrite if I would not admit that I liked it, but on that level of intimacy, I would have wanted if it was under different circumstances.

I guess it was the one thing that was holding me back against her. Soyeon felt too liberated and open and I’m being too culture shocked with what I’m seeing and experiencing.

Although, I cannot pretend that I’m that much innocent as well. I experience too much skinship from before, on a person I would not even deem thinkable at this day and age.

Maybe it was the reason why I was afraid. I don’t want another relationship to stray close enough or develop into something similar to what happened during the past. From the likes of it, it feels like that’s where Soyeon and I were bound to head to. It might be overthinking like what Hongseok said, but the odds are too much to that direction that I could not just ignore it. The odds were pretty much not on my favour for this one.

I guess… I guess Soyeon had something similar to my past girlfriend… to my first love, if I will. The way that that relationship ended was not exactly pleasant, and maybe it’s the reason why I’m being too protective to myself. I don’t want to get damaged further than how damaged I was before.

Regardless, I think I’m already too old to be dealing with just a fling. I needed to be certain and I need to be arbitrarily serious. At this point with Soyeon, I can definitely say that I’m not.

I could no longer handle the impending anxiety that I was having from within, and so I went off and set my phone to a silent alarm for a few hours, ending on a couple of minutes before my final class with Shinwon even begins. I didn’t even realize that with too much emotion surging with me since that encounter earlier this day, I was still sleep deprived because of that excursion with Soyeon. Somehow exhaustion has caught up to me and now, even with all the delays from home and from this afternoon, I can finally let myself rest and hopefully cancel the stupid mood swing that I have been experiencing even before I share the class with Ko Shinwon.

---4:34 PM, AT THE SCHOOL’S FOUNTAIN---

Yoon Jae-in had woken up to his alarm ten minutes ago and managed to get his face fixed up before the class even begins. He found himself sitting on the small fountain area at the heart of the university, and it was this huge, circular work of water that had concrete benches surrounding its perimeter. It was most commonly known by the students of the university as a past-time place, which is exactly why he was seated there waiting for 5 PM among other students who were perhaps doing the exact same thing.

In Jae-in’s head, it felt like almost every student of North Line had a universal agreement that the watching the waters flow on the fountain and the nearby man-made water fall somehow eases the mind, regardless of the source for stress. It did nothing to help solve the predicament, but it sure did help take the mind off of things even for just a little bit.

Jae-in, however, could only wish that he had brought something to serve music privately to his ears. It would have made the moment infinitely better than it already was. After all, he successfully flushed the encounter the whole Hongseok situation out of his system already, and the small incorporation of even just a couple more hours of sleep eased up his mood to more manageable levels. Somehow electing to isolate him from the other members of the friend group, especially Ningning and Hongseok, helped a lot. Soyeon could have been contacting him at that time but he was too busy with himself to even consider how she was doing.

The approaching twilight was right in the ever-orange skies from above. The time was almost five PM, and almost time for the start of drafting class. Jae-in had just finished gathering his thoughts together and moved to head to the laboratory upstairs when he was approached by a familiar figure coming from the fountain’s right pathway.

A tall and slender frame, hair styled in the usual soft perm, bomber jacket and slim jeans marked the arrival of his classmate and close friend, Ko Shinwon, walking with a huge smirk on his face with a small, pink file case clamped on his grasp. He gave Jae-in a soft wave before proceeding to sit on the space nearby, earning a look of surprise from Yoon Jae-in.

“I had a feeling that you’d be here,” the tall, young man said. “Years of being your friend actually paid off for me now, Jae-in.”

“Why are you positioned like that? Are you not planning to go to class today? It would be waste, considering how close we are already. It’s just up there.”

“Wait, you don’t know? Mr Hwang actually announced something at the university website. He said we can have the day off but made sure to give us something to work on. It’s not due until next weekend, so we have a lot of time to do it.”

“Are you serious?” Jae-in said in slight frustration before sitting beside Shinwon. “I should have gone home and went for a sleep. Staying at the library was a waste of time when I could have slept on a better bed.”

“So that’s where you’ve headed. No wonder everyone else is looking for you at the group. Plus, I think it would be a waste anyway since Mr Hwang posted the announcement thirty minutes ago. It can’t be helped man.”

“Well, at least we can go home earlier now. Do you want to head already?”

Shinwon grinned.

“The first thought was actually to head on off and smoke for the time being, but I guess seeing you here shifted my schedule for a little bit.”

“You’re planning to smoke? I thought you quit that already.”

“Well…. things take some time getting used to being gone. I’m more on… regulating it, if you will. Yeri particularly hates the scent especially afterwards.”

“Oh, that’s… that’s amazing. That’s good for you. It’s nice that you have someone that can help you change. Congratulations on that. I never really got to interact with Yeri, and I do actually want to meet her soon with more conversations.”

Shinwon nodded and then proceeded to shift his position on the bench.

“Actually… I’ll have to cut to the chase. I could easily have gone home but I actually am looking for you. I think that we need to talk.”

“Whoa, that sounded so damn serious all of a sudden,” Jae-in said as he sat beside him. “Are you okay? Is this about Yeri?”

“Well, you know… Jae-in,” he said as he placed his arm on Jae-in’s shoulder as a form of brotherly consignment. “I… I know it may sound nosy of me, but what else is new… I knew about what happened earlier. You and Hongseok had some argument right? It didn’t exactly turn out good, am I correct?”

If anything, Jae-in was not really surprised that he knew. He was more bewildered by the fact that Shinwon was actually the one who went out and talked to him for that as it would usually come the other way around. He was initially expecting the confrontation to not come sooner, and to actually come from Kyungsoo being the ‘introducer’.

“Oh… well I didn’t really … it was not really an argument it’s more of me losing control over my emotions because I’m stupid. I don’t think I can even look straight at Hongseok again after that.”

“Don’t worry man… I’m sure he understands. I was surprised that you’d turn like that in front of Ningning and Hongseok, though. It must have been really serious. They said that it got too intense that Ningning just changed the topic to keep things under control.”

“I’m… I’m glad that she did actually. How did you find out, by the way? Was I too hard that it scattered to the group already?”

“Well no… Ningning knew that we were classmates for the final subject of the day. She was the one who personally asked me to check on you and called it as a favour. She’s really concerned for you, you know.”

Silence broke up between both of them. Jae-in pondered from within him how much Ningning had done for him that day, while Shinwon fell silent because he had no idea what to say afterwards.

“Anyway,” Shinwon continued. “Is it okay for me to ask you what happened? What really ticked you off?”

Jae-in sighed and gathered his courage before venting his frustrations.

“If anything… the argument mostly revolved with my issues. Bottom line is… I really don’t think that I’m ready to get into a relationship just yet, especially on the whole Soyeon situation. The reason why I was so persistent on insisting my point towards Hongseok was because I’m starting to feel pressured with Soyeon’s advances. I can’t do anything to her in return because… I don’t want to keep her hopes up. However, if I would not do anything as well, she’d just think that we’re waiting for something to come yet in the end, there was really nothing. At this point, I just could not keep up that I feel like I’m mentally exhausted keeping whatever was between us up in the air.”

“So what was Hongseok insisting?” Shinwon asked.

“Hongseok kept on telling me that I should give Soyeon a chance. Compared to myself, she’s more likely to get people attracted to her. For Hongseok, it was absurd that I am not even jumping at the first chance of being her guy. I mean, technically speaking, he’s not wrong. Soyeon’s really pretty and not to mention famous, and she has a long line of guys willing to be her boyfriend. She’s right there, waiting for the perfect opportunity to be with me and yet I can’t bring myself to see that we can actually be together. I guess I was just too taken aback when she actually confessed and claimed that she meant it.”

“Does she, though? Keep in mind that she was drunk when she confessed to you. You and I know how she is when she’s drunk, right Jae-in? I would not exactly advise someone to believe what escapes her lips when she’s hazed with alcohol. I know that she’s my friend, but you are too. I’m trying to show you the bigger picture when it comes to Soyeon. Plus, I know her longer before you did, so there’s that.”

“Well if she wasn’t serious with it she wouldn’t have wasted her time talking to me and doing all those advances towards me right? If she wasn’t serious she had all the chances to back out but there she was, still persistent.  There are a lot of things that are happening behind the scenes, man. Some are stuff that I do not even want to disclose because it’s too much. With regards to Soyeon, it kinda feels like she’s the one trying to woo me to be honest.”

“That’s fair if you actually feel like the girl. But if that’s the case why argue with Hongseok? What’s holding you back from actually trying your chances with Soyeon?”

Jae-in fell silent and merely stared at the flowing waters of the fountain before him. He knew precisely the answer, yet there was a little bit of a hesitation from his part.

“I… I just dislike the idea that I’m supposed to act back just because she’s doing something you know. That is what I think Hongseok was implying, but to me that is just borderline uncomfortable. That was the fire that ignited my irritation among other things. Sure, I was lacking sleep and all that, but even Hongseok or Ningning had no idea that I have that tendency. I don’t know what else I should tell her. If I’m going to act, I want to do it because I was the one who wanted it, not because the situation is warranting me to do it. Honestly, I don’t even know why I’m making this too much of a big deal. I might just be overthinking because I don’t want to make a move just yet… In light of recent events, I just felt that I was a bit pressured that I can’t keep up and maintain things.”

Shinwon nodded as an awkward silence passed between them both once again. Some of the students that were on the fountain with them have now gone to their respective ways.

“Jae-in… I want to ask you a question. I want you to answer it as solidly and as truthfully as you ever could. Give me a quick answer, and I would encourage you to not even think about it that much. I want an answer from the heart, not from the head; you good with that?”

Why do I get the feeling that I know what he’s about to ask me?

“Go on then. I’ll give you what you want.”

“Do you even like Soyeon?”

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“No,” Jae-in mouthed. It was an odd feeling having to admit to it and say it to someone else, once and for all. “I thought I did, but I could not rule out the fact that we were both influence by alcohol when the confessions happened. I think I acted immediately with the situation presented without giving it a fair bit of thought. Now, I can’t put all my eggs in the basket because my heart was never in the basket in the first place.”

“I knew it,” Shinwon said with a nod. “I think I can see why that’s the case.”

“You knew…? How can you say so?”

“Well, I have been your friend ever since we ever stepped foot on our high school, Jae-in. You were the first person that I ever talked to, so our friendship is anchored way back. It goes to say that I have discovered a lot about you during then and in turn, I know how you act to certain degrees. I, for one, know that you are a very ‘all-in’ kind of person. I always got that impression about you. You don’t usually head in first without a thought, but when you do, you make sure that you give more than a hundred per cent. Once you go in, you go in REALLY HARD. I guess that is the reason why you fell so badly when… when you and your high school girlfriend fell apart in the worse possible way ever. Somehow I had a hunch that you and Soyeon would not work out in the long run even if you pursued it because it didn’t feel right.”

“You think so too?”

“Well... yeah. Some things really do ring a bell. Having that too light-spirited of a woman with you is not really your type, as you mentioned before. I kept my mouth shut because I thought that it would end in a couple of days after that, like it was just a one-night deal kind of thing. When things started to get serious, when you two were holding hands together and all that, I got really concerned; my gut was telling me that soon, you’d get tired of her habits given how opposite her interests are with yours.”

I… I was thinking of the same thing. Shinwon, despite teasing me of Soyeon during the past, secretly had a gut feeling that something was wrong. That’s damn good friendship right there.

“I found it funny actually that you feel like the girl between the both of you, because you actually are. Think about it: she’s more outgoing, has more bad habits, and was more of a happy-go –lucky liberated person and here you are, reserved, more composed, and even conservative. You’re like a text-book reserved woman, a maiden, and I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing just because you’re a guy. It actually makes you unique and it separates you from the louder ones.”

“Hey I have my bad habits too don’t discredit that.”

“Yeah but there are things she does that you don’t, right? You haven’t been to a club before, right Jae-in?”

He nodded silently.

“Do you even want to go to a club?”

He shook his head.

“I told you so. In my opinion, that already says a lot. It also helps that you’re the one being pursued.”

Silence, once more.

“Jae-in… you’re a very emotional person. I think you already knew that. You’re probably the softest, most kind-hearted person in our entire friend group, which is why you’re sometimes getting trampled on by people who have a higher social score than you. I would include myself in that. Regardless, what I’m trying to say is that… listen to what your heart is telling you. Set aside the courtesy you’re reserving for Soyeon and reserve that for yourself, because if you really don’t like her, it’s better to end it now that in the long run. It would be easier for both of you and she would soon understand.”

“You’re… you’re right… I should have thought of this sooner. I was so naïve that maybe I’ll have a reason to… to pull it off. I should have done it earlier.”

“Come on… you don’t need one shit bag like me to tell you what to do now, right? You’re freaking Yoon Jae-in!”

“You did well to make me remember it. Thank you. I promise that one of these days, I’ll have to atone for my responsibilities. I’ll tell Soyeon the truth and face whatever goes after it. I have a feeling that it would not be pretty.”

Shinwon tapped his shoulder as a brotherly gesture.

“That’s the spirit, mate. I’ll be supporting you until the very end. Whatever happens, know that I’m by your side than Soyeon’s. In this instance, I know that you’re doing the right thing.”

 “I will. I’ll do that for the sake of everyone as well.”

Shinwon finally stood up and gave some stretching. Jae-in followed suit, but before they could both even walk out of the fountain’s premises, he was stopped once again by the voice of the taller Shinwon.

“You know what, regardless if what happens, we’ll be here in case you’re in for a drink. I’d rather share a table with you because you chose to do what’s right than to lull in a depressing drinking session because Soyeon broke your heart. Don’t let what happened to you in high school happen again with Soyeon, okay?”

“What do you mean? What does high school have to do with this?”

“All I’m saying is: be careful. You don’t want this whole Soyeon situation to turn into another Wonyoung now, do you?”

#gidle soyeon #pentagon shinwon #jang wonyoung #ive wonyoung #kpop fanfic #kpop series #a little piece of you

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hii can I ask for a romantic matchup if they’re still open?

Fandom(s): Genshin Impact, Honkai Star Rail

Age: 19 y.o. college student

Pronouns: He/they

Sexuality: Asexual homoromantic (so matched with male characters plz)

Zodiac/MBTI: Libra, INTJ / INFJ 

Appearance: 5’5”, very dark brown, messy hair, and hazel eyes. My clothing style flip flops between baggy to preppy. I have a nose stud and small ear gauges. I also wear clear glasses.

Personality: I am very studious and love learning. I always have questions but often keep them to myself because of fear of being viewed as stupid. I have anxiety problems I've slowly gotten better at coping with. I tend to be a leader in groups because of how easy it is for me to get along with others. I’m funny, I find humor to be very important in my relationships. I’m quiet most of the time, but once I’m comfortable I’m pretty talkative. I try to return favors because people helping me means a lot to me. I’m very creative, like to see things in multiple different perspectives and make new ones. I'm dyslexic and am very insecure about it ;;w;;

Likes: Learning, teaching (I’m majoring in education!), my pet birds, fantasy, history, art, sleeping

Dislikes: Excessive noise, blood (i’m very squeamish), aggressiveness, not understanding things, being judged by I can't control

Hobbies: Reading, making art (digital mainly), playing the sims 4, 

Thank you in advance! ^ ^

Hi Anon! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took a while. I hope you like your matchups!

In Genshin Impact, I match you with...

Alhaitham is a good person to go to when you have questions. He knows a lot of things and, contrary to what many think, won’t tease you for now knowing things. There’s a lot of information in the world and since he doesn’t know it all, he doesn’t expect you to either.

He’s glad you have a fondness for history. That’s one of his fields of experience so he’s happy to talk to you about whatever you want regarding history.

Helps you out with your dyslexia. He knows quite a few books in the library that have been specifically designed for people with dyslexia.

And if there’s something you’d like to read but are struggling with, he’ll read it out to you. He’s got a really nice reading voice but very few people have heard it so make the most of that rare experience.

Alhaitham’s not a huge fan of excessive noise either since he’s always reading or thinking over a problem. He’s happy to take you to his favourite quiet spots to spend time together in comfortable silence.

In Honkai Star Rail, I match you with...

This was a close call between Caelus and Dan Heng. But I think you get along a bit better with Caelus.

Enjoys reading with you. Whether he’s listening to you read or reading to you, he just likes the atmosphere it creates. Those moments are some of his favourites.

Caelus loves listening to you talk about anything and everything. He’s not super talkative himself so he’s content to just listen and occasionally make a comment. He especially likes listening to you talk about history since that’s something he finds interesting as well.

He doesn’t remember anything before Kafka so he enjoys filling in the gaps by listening to you talk about history. Part of him hopes learning about history will help him figure out his own past.

Please make a phone wallpaper for him using your digital art skills. He’ll smile every time he looks at it since it reminds him of you.

#writing #fanfic #matchup #matchup request #request #genshin impact #alhaitham #honkai star rail #caelus

[aloftmelevar]

on august 21st, 2014, i was a 12-year-old in 7th grade who was just finding out about the hidden block/normalboots collective of game reviewers.

on august 21st, 2014, i found caddicarus - who would have a huge impact on my life for the next 4 years.

during those 4 years i had many fandom shenanigans. made some great memories, made some not-so-great memories.

i remember when he was an android fanboy. i remember when he didn't like pizza. i remember when his voice was higher and when he had the buzzcut. the stock grungy background and aesthetic. the frosty cooltext generated logo. that iconic gong noise at the beginning of the intro. when the intro didn't even have music at all - do fans these days even remember that the intro was once a heavenly chant with no music?

"🎵ay ay ay ay ay, ay ay ay ay, subscribe...🎵"

"that's how we do it in my garden!"

"CYOAR!"

i remember rushing home one day in march 2015 to watch him on PBG's minecraft hardcore. i remember when he first got his tattoos. i remember how the audience was divided over his mohawk.

many sunday afternoons were spent waiting for the new video to come out. being the young devoted fan i was, i started drinking pepsi after he said he preferred it over coke. i called it "the official drink of the beautiful people".

i remember in 2016 when he got rid of all those extra shows and made the caddicarus show weekly. and i remember when the sub count slowed around the same time. but we as the fanbase made do with what we had.

i left in late 2018 around the time he hit 600,000 subs. i left to pursue other fandom endeavors - long story short, i moved onward. 😉

in the 4 years since i've left, caddy pretty much addressed every criticism people had with his videos and he's been thriving more than he ever has. and even though his videos are no longer for me personally, i still respect him with every fiber of my being.

now, it's august 22nd, 2022. i'm 20 years old. i haven't watched a caddicarus video in god knows how long. when i think of caddicarus, the color blue still comes to mind. that shows you right there.

yet, as i sat silently in the college library, on the first day of junior year, i held my hands on my heart and teared up as i saw caddy do the same and then lie down on his side as he saw the long-awaited number show up on his screen.

i took a big sip of the pepsi sitting next to me. and even after i found out that he hates the US version of pepsi, i still drank it with pride. because it shows that the impact he and his videos made on me is still visible to this day. and also because...pepsi really is better than coke.

i am aware of what caddy thinks of the pre-2020 era. i recognize that he wasn't exactly making the videos he wanted to make and that he regrets them now. but we wouldn't be where we are today if they never existed. they still made an impact.

i remember when we never thought he'd hit 1 million subs. i remember checking socialblade and the prediction for the 1 million sub milestone was...actually pretty accurate. it projected he'd reach 1 million when i was in the middle of college. but at the time, it was still 6 years away. which is a long time in internet years.

but he's so resilient. that's 10 years of blood, sweat, and tears poured into the channel. and within those videos - no matter what he thinks of them now - are the childhood/teenhood memories of many, many people. nerdy and geeky kids who found a part of youtube that understood their nerdy and geeky interests. kids who finally felt validated after finding other people who enjoyed the same videos. kids who then had internet friends to talk about their interests with. kids who finally found their voice...and began to make videos of their own.

thank you so much jim. thank you for all you've done. you have given me and now a million other people so much happiness and joy. i hope you continue to thrive and inspire millions of people. stay beautiful. 💜💙💜

#caddicarus #hiddenblock #jim caddick #i now have an urge to rewatch old vids and look back at all the cringe fan videos i made...oh my god #oh yeah fun fact - the older caddicarus intro was composed by endigo. yes - the big chungus endigo.

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Thoughts on ADHD?

I've found myself in a lot of situations recently that I don't think a person who "didn't have ADHD" could survive.

Like I remember reading a bunch of posts about how ADHD really isn't that bad, and that all those stories about how people with ADHD can't get jobs, can't pay attention, etc. are actually just exaggerated or misinterpreted, etc. (My personal favorite example is the one where someone was fired from a position she clearly was good at and they were like "oh no we should fire her, she can't sit in the back of the class and zone out, it's not that bad." Yeah, that sounds like a lot of the worst of ADHD to me.) And I was like, "oh man, if only I knew that way back when, I could have done better"

(Also, if I'm being a bit uncharitable, I find it weird how all these posts seem to center on the "executive dysfunction" component, as if that were the only problem, when this is like, a fairly common experience among people with ADHD -- the very difficulty "executing a task" is a pretty big component, and can be enough to make a whole life a huge challenge.)

And I think that post went further than that -- the way my mom describes ADHD to me is that when I'm "on," I focus on one thing and just do it really well, to the point where people sometimes say I'm being impressive by being able to do it better than them. (This is the stuff I was talking about in my last post, when I wrote that I sometimes think I can do what I do "better" than people who are better than me.) If I'm just doing that, then I'm kind of... living with myself, I guess? This isn't really a problem, but it can be.

ADHD can be a problem when you get more executive function in your head. When you can't just focus on a task to the exclusion of all else, you get this feeling that you're actually failing at a task, because you cannot pay full attention to the task while doing many other tasks. But you just don't know what "pay full attention to the task" means -- you're just stuck doing anything that seems interesting or amusing, which can include a lot of other things. It's like a runaway process -- you can keep getting more and more interested in other things, until all the "do this task" energy is just completely depleted and all you have left is "get back to the task, you idiot." And then you realize you have totally failed the task and you have to figure out what to do about it -- which is not trivial!

At that point, you might get into the "executive dysfunction" part of the post I linked earlier, where you're aware that if you're not doing this task you should absolutely stop and do it, but your mind goes to other interesting/amusing ideas and you end up not doing the task and being angry at your mind for not doing the task. At which point you go back to the idea that you should go back and do the task, and you're still failing because you're not doing the task... because you're always getting distracted...

Like, my mom once told me I should always remember to check my e-mail even when the task at hand is "get back to that e-mail from the library," because checking my e-mail can involve looking at Facebook, and getting back to the e-mail will involve other interesting/amusing things. So I go back to my task...

... and then my mind gets distracted from the task for like ten minutes and now it's "get back to that e-mail" again, and so I go back to my task...

And then I'm "getting back to the task," but in a very abstract "executive dysfunction" way, where I get distracted once every five minutes or so and I spend five minutes thinking about the task, or I get "deeper" into "thinking about the task," so that when I get back to "getting back to the task," I'm like an hour away from where I started and it's getting harder, and the task is turning from a concrete "get back to that e-mail" into an abstract "this is really hard... do you really need to go back to that e-mail... am I the only one who would have time for...?"

And I start getting frustrated because I don't have a lot of energy, I'm only halfway into the task, and all of a sudden the abstractions are getting so thick that my mind can't actually get back to the task without "putting in ten more hours of work," and then I have to put in ten more hours of work.

#james-the-axew

[haro-hawayu]

CCS: Clear Card Ch. 68

Chapter 68 is out! The latest chapter is currently available on CLAMP-net’s YouTube Channel. As always, do check out @meimi-haneoka's post on the latest chapter for any EN-JPN translation differences.

Links for previous chapter reactions can be found here.

Reading Reactions

SyaoSaku (Flight ver) cover page ♥ I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

THEY’RE HOLDING HANDS!! ♥♥

Can’t wait for them to hold hands now that the spell thing is over TuT

Wow, this library is gorgeous!

Normally water x books is like a huge no-no but with magic, anything is okay XD

“Was it something important” (referring the what the voice said to “Alice” Sakura that she forgot)--OF COURSE IT IS!! It’s her ultimate spell/motto! (Also noting how Sakura is looking more “Sakura” than “Alice” at this moment of “clarity”)

Lol totally not creepy seeing “Syaoran” with that smile.

I love how Momo is all “I’ll do whatever I want in my own terms/rules” (not like Kaito isn’t kinda also doing the same himself LOL)

Are ALL the books in this scene life records for people?? That’s quite amazing.

Ohh!! I think Akiho is becoming more of herself > Red Queen too!! She remembers parts of herself (with the important person bit)

AND THE PART ABOUT SAKURA’S NAME!

It makes sense that both girls are kinda regaining their sense of self through their continued exchange.

SAKURA!!

SYAORANNN!!

LOL a cat fight between two cat boys XD

Sakura shouting “Syaoran-kun!” ♥

I’m kinda crying. This moment for SyaoSaku ♥ TuT ♥

THAT’S RIGHT! ONLY ONE KINOMOTO SAKURA!!

Now Kaito’s spell has been undone~

Ohhh some interesting clan-related stuff.

WAHHHH ENDING BEFORE THE SHOWDOWN.

Okay but I’m so excited we’re getting Kaito vs Syaoran happening (hope we can get some cool action scenes in). 

SO MUCH IS HAPPENING!

Okay but also no reveal of Akiho’s reactions after Kaito’s disguise got dispelled... I’m a bit concerned...

Also, I just love whenever they give a bit of extra “lore” to the bigger magical world that CCS takes place in. Kaito reveal bits of information about how the European Clan is interested in what’s happening with Li Clan (esp cuz of their connection to Clow). Yeah, I wonder why that deep interest in Clow--is it because of his reputation? Is it Sakura (with how powerful she’s becoming, she can be a threat or target for anyone out there--y’know aside from Kaito and whatever he has planned). OR MAYBE THERE’S A RELATIONAL CONNECTION!!! I had to check old notes, but for chapter 12 I threw in a random theory of maybe Akiho’s family is related to Clow’s father’s side of the family (cuz England, and also we never got info on that other side of the family--and later we had chapters of Eriol calling Syaoran talking about the European Magical Association and I was getting excited for a possible east meets west magical showdown). IS THIS IT THEN?? Cuz if they’re really related to Clow on the other side, that would be wild and kinda cool seeing how things are being connected here. 

To end, I just want to say how fuzzy and warm I feel over SyaoSaku in this chapter. From the cover to the “SAKURA!!” and “SYAORAN-KUN!!” moments to the “You’re the only Sakura Kinomoto” (paraphrased)--ahhh I feel so so soooo (as Sakura would put it) “はにゃあん～“ over everything! Like remember those dreams Sakura would have where she sees Syaoran under the cloak (with that blank look in his eyes), or how people close to her not remembering who she is and all?? But then Syaoran, the real Syaoran who fought his way to stay in this world, just declares how there’s only one of her or just straight up reminds her of who she is (when she very literally couldn’t remember who she was herself)--that’s just so reassuring and affirming. I love that so much. I love them so much.

#Card Captor Sakura #cardcaptor sakura #clear card arc #clear card hen #ccs #clamp #manga #haro thoughts

[russeliarat]

Oo! Small history lesson with BB! This is the only part of American history that I like and it isn’t even really taught to us because it doesn’t suck the governments dick. (If I have to learn about the American revolution one more GOD DAM TIME-)

Prohibition came about when people, mostly women in suffrage, complained about how drinking was ruining family’s and husbands were either never around or were a drunk mess. These protestors were treated harshly and usually firefighters were called to hose down the oh so dangerous women.

I can’t remember exactly if there was a big trigger or because some famous and rich people got involved but a bill was passed that stopped drinking in America. Despite the point being to lower the numbers who drank, drinking actually increased due to the bill.

Moonshiners were common, they also non-conspicuously started selling grape products and were like “well technically it’s not illegally to buy these almost fermented grapes and leave them in the back of your cupboard for like a month.”

The speakeasies were a thrill, there would be snake ladies, a jazz band, and paid off police officers who would sometimes join the speakeasies. Some of these places were pretty loud however and may have gotten ratted out by neighbors who couldn’t sleep.

The main problem with prohibition were gangs. Gangs made huge money from smuggling in Canadian alcohol. And it wasn’t uncommon for there to see rival gangs shooting at each other in the streets. I believe there was one mafia boss in particular who was a straight up celebrity who would be interviewed in public often.

Eventually they had to take away prohibition due to all the problems it caused, even some of those famous and rich women I mentioned earlier turned around and said “yeah, we need this gone, this was a bad idea” it helped dissolve mafias and crime once it was taken away, and the only real problem was that it put a wrench in women’s rights plans.

That’s about all I can remember. Sorry, I just like talking about history and this is like the only American history that is worth anything outside of Harriet Tubman and the worlds wars. The other wars are talked about way too much and no one cares about them.

(I’m honestly mad we talk about the revolution like 3 separate times yet never bring up how we almost had a war with a South American country over bird poop, which was and I believe still is lucrative shit).

This gives me so much more context for Lackadaisy now, thanks! I mainly learn a lot of English history because of obvious reasons, so this was very insightful! We only really learn in high-school about the history of medicine, the worst part of Victorian England, and the world wars (but not even the individual battles or people who were incredibly important in winning those wars?? I had to search my local libraries historical records to even find out there was a man from my local area who fought in the war and was awarded a medal of honour I believe. That's a whole other can of worms on how I hate that the curriculum seems to want to distance people from the personal stories and lives of those who fought to make our history. I've had this obsession with learning others stories so they can live on in someone's memories).

And I'm sorry, America's bird shit war?? It's like the war against emus all over again

#ask russ

[thetenthdoctorscompanion]

So with the holidays upon us, what are the holidays in IO like? For the Walcotts and the others? I believe you have Chrissy celebrating Christmas in the story, but in my head she's Jewish since her fc is Alona, so I imagine her and her dad celebrating Hanukkah, and her teaching the others about it. I imagine them having a lot of fun learning about it. What about El's first holiday season? Besides the Snowball, what's that like? Does she learn about Santa? What's the gift situation with them all? What about favorite holiday movies? I need help getting into the holiday spirit, despite buying most of the necessary gifts, I still feel like it's September or something.

Okay, I've been thinking about this for like a week now, and I think I've finally got a good-ish answer for you. I can't remember which details are public and which are sitting in a plot document somewhere, but you'll learn in the one-shot series that Chrissy's mom's name is Hannah.

I think when Chrissy was a kid, her family probably celebrated both Christmas and Hanukkah—Christmas on Pete's side, Hanukkah on Hannah's side. Unfortunately, since Hannah got sick when Chrissy was still really young, Chrissy only has pictures and a few hazy memories of those times.

Rest under the cut because i wrote another gd essay.

Once she and her dad started moving around, holidays became a lot less certain. The "big holidays" generally spent with family are tough for them, but Pete does what he can. He was never particularly religious, so for him, it's more about making sure Christine feels like she's part of the experience. They've got a tiny plastic Christmas tree they can take from apartment to apartment, and probably a plug-in menorah. Chrissy gets eight gifts during Hanukkah and the rest on Christmas. Cooking's never been Pete's specialty either, so holidays either mean a store-bought feast, take-out, or going out to eat, but sugar cookies in different shapes? That he can manage.

It isn't until they get to Hawkins that holidays really change at all. Not their first year, but once the Hendersons move in. Dustin's used to BIG holiday gatherings, so when Claudia hears that the Walcotts don't usually do much, you just know she's going all out. Personalized stockings, hand-made ornaments, the whole shebang. And as much as Chrissy loves them for it, it makes her miss her mom.

That's probably what prompts her to grab some books from the library, so she can figure out how to do a real Hanukkah. The Walcotts finally get a real menorah and Chrissy tries to cook the right food. She's not sure she's doing any of it right, but really, it's a celebration of her mom anyway.

God, I haven't even gotten to the rest of your questions yet. OKAY.

El's first Christmas is pretty overwhelming for her. I highly suggest reading Darkness at the Edge of Town, which is a ST companion book from Hopper's POV. Most of it's set in the past, but Hopper's actively telling the story to Eleven, so there's a few chapters of the two of them in the cabin and Hop is a huge sap. I almost cried chapter one. It also talks about her going to a holiday party with her friends, which I believe is covered in a comic I haven't read.

In my mind, the party gets together at someone's house—probably Dustin's, because Hopper's too nervous to let Eleven back to the Wheeler house yet, and Claudia's not gonna question one of the kids bringing an unknown friend. I think she learns ABOUT Santa, but the kids tell her straight off it's a story they tell little kids. (Mike and Lucas are exactly the type of people to tell you that Santa's not real.) Plus, no one really wants to lie to her, silly as it may seem.

There are like...a lot of kids in the party, so I don't think everyone gets something for everyone. That being said, the party has to buy two super-comms—one for Eleven and on for Max—so that's a gift from everyone for both of them. Chrissy obviously buys additional gifts for El and Dustin, and probably for Max too. Steve gets directions from Chrissy on what video game to buy for Dustin. He feels compelled to get something for Eleven too, so he just buys the exact same thing he bought Chrissy: a hat with matching scarf and gloves. It's not inventive, especially considering El's like...not allowed to go outside...but Eleven loves them, because she matches Christine.

Okay this is beyond an essay at this point, I can go into movies if you want to ask again lmfao. 😅

#i'm incapable of answering you succinctly #i hope this is okay #inside out #christine walcott #io asks #pearlbeth #asks

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

i have so many things to post about, and many photos to share--including cat stories! and my new rapid-bruising superpower--but i’ve been trying to spend almost no time doing ‘fun’ things while i’m struggling so hard to focus on ‘work’ things. 

about a week ago, i finally gave up on that strategy, since it hasn’t been working, and i switched to aiming for acceptance about my limitations (rather than hoping i can overcome them with caffeine, or not sleeping, or self-shaming). @actuallylukedanes was a huge part of that, just by being my best friend and loving me as much as they do. it’s harder to believe you’re a terrible person when the person who knows you best disagrees. anyway, i’ve been feeling better this last week after letting go of that self-inflicted stress.

so tonight i’m going to a local ‘yarning’ group at the library for the first time, where they plan to make a knitted/crocheted vegetable garden to display there. little yarn vegetables! it sounds so fun. i’m nervous because New People, but it helps that i went to a group like once when i lived in utah, and i suspect the people i’ll find here are likely to be similar to the ones i met then--mostly older women who are genuinely friendly.

i enjoy my online social life and i don’t actually want to stay in our current city, so i don’t feel a driving need to make local friends. but my general leaving-the-house skills AND in-person stranger skills atrophied during the pandemic, and i’ve always been someone who actually enjoys those brief stranger interactions that come from shopping or appointments or public transit, so it is important to me to get those skills back (and go back to getting fresh air). 

thus tonight’s meeting, and my movie pass, which will be taking me to see m3gan on wednesday. last month i read two op-eds that felt as though they were trying to send me a message: one was about how movie trailers don’t represent things accurately, so people should just see movies for their own reasons and not bother with trailers. when i read that, i sort of agreed, because i once saw a movie with a comedic trailer that turned out to be a thriller. and THEN right after reading the op-ed, i saw a man called otto and agreed even more.because  while the trailer did show vaguely what the movie is about, it also left out a central storyline that i wish i had been prepared for going in. (maybe i’m just really dense and it was implied in the trailer? but i didn’t catch it.)

and the other op-ed was encouraging people to watch more movies outside their comfort zones. i no longer remember what the argument for that was, but it did remind me that my viewing habits have narrowed a lot over the years. i used to watch just about anything when i was younger, in terms of giving movies and tv a chance--i followed actors i liked more than caring about genre. and starting to watch more theater movies has reminded me of that as well, because i see more trailers and that can mean i become aware of movies that otherwise i would probably not even hear about. 

there was a trailer for a new creed film, for example, and i’ve never seen any movies in that series, so if i hadn’t seen the trailer i doubt i would have known or cared. but it stars michael b. jordan, who i adore thanks to his work in the black panther movies (i will always melt for truly good antagonists) and jonathan majors! (who had such heartbreaking range and power in lovecraft country i will follow him anywhere) and tessa thompson, which just makes it, like, a cast too good to be true. and my immediate thought as the trailer played was, ‘well, but it’s a boxing movie.’ and then i remembered, i watched a boxing movie! i saw the one with meg ryan, because at one point i tried to watch every meg ryan movie. so why wouldn’t i do the same for another boxing movie with a cast i love? i didn’t used to reject movies categorically the way i do now.

and then on top of all that, my favorite movie podcast (you are good) discusses all kinds of movies. but both the hosts are huge fans of horror movies, classic and current, and that means they discuss them a ton even when they’re not covering them officially on the episodes. i have never been a huge horror fan, so i’ve had fun listening to their episodes about old ones that i haven’t actually seen and don’t want to. (friday the 13th, halloween, texas chainsaw massacre.) and the frequent exposure to horror movies in a nice vicarious way...has made me kind of want to become the sort of person who does watch horror movies. at least sometimes, to see what i think. 

i saw the whitney houston biopic with kayla at the theater, and one of the trailers they played with it was for m3gan, and kayla was so horrified--she just started shouting ‘no’ at the screen at increasing volume, lol. but i think it looks kind of awful in a fun way, (the trailer gave me such pretty little liars vibes somehow) and once i realized that the lead actress was also from get out, i decided to make it my first ‘who knows if i’ll hate this’ movie day. (i want to see missing next, i feel similarly about that one.)

anyway, i’m actually letting myself have fun plans this week, and i’ll just have to balance work and appts and fun going forward. i bought a really pretty planner that will make figuring all that out more fun...and on top of the rest of it, i now have a therapist whose first focus is on how important sleep is to her with every client, so now i’m struggling to live on a sleep schedule--which isn’t something i even had as a kid! so it’s a work in progress. but aren’t we all? hopefully soon i’ll start catching up more here. i miss you guys. <3

#rambling #life stuff #movies #crochet #i have the best best friend #actuallylukedanes #coffee coffee coffee #michael b jordan #jonathan majors #tessa thompson #meg ryan #long post