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themaribatpit · 3 years

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Jasonette July Day 20: Then Perish

Written by: The Maribat Pit @jasonette-july-event Prompt: Then Perish (Part 1) Rating: M (violence, minor character deaths) A/N: We wanted to finish Jasonette July with a bang. The second half will be posted tomorrow for the Saturday Challenge. We’ve appreciated all your comments and kind words, we really do read every one. It genuinely means a lot to us and encourages us to continue writing together. As a fandom you have been nothing but kind and supportive, and we enjoy bringing you fics great and small with a wide variety of genres, dynamics, and iterations. Also blame DC fanboy for the memes in this fic. Marinette loved to travel, she had traveled all over the world from New York to Shanghai. Today, she traveled with her parents to Gotham City to visit her parents' friends, whom they had not seen in many years. Sabine was initially afraid to visit Gotham City, due to its crime rate and ever-growing list of criminals. Tom reassured his wife, saying that his big stature would scare any would-be criminal from harming them, that the trip would be short and they would visit Metropolis afterwards. Marinette wore the Ladybug Miraculous, just in case something were to happen. As the family got off the taxi at Park Row, everyone felt something was off. "Park Row really has...changed." Thomas muttered. Sabine held on to both her husband and her daughter, "I think we should leave." she said. Soon shadows began appearing around the corner, then came the yelling, and soon after came the gunshots. Thomas grabbed his wife and daughter and ran to find shelter from a hail of bullets. Marinette looked back to see many civilians, men, women and children caught in the middle of this gang war. She needed to be a hero, her father could take care of her mother, she needed to save those in danger. She freed herself from her father's grasp and ran behind a corner, she whispered "spots on" and transformed into Ladybug. Diving and flipping across streaking bullets everywhere, she flung her yo-yo to drag any unfortunate bystanders into an abandoned building. While in a building with innocent civilians, she peeked her head out the window to see a monstrous man. Wearing a blood red helmet and wielding two pistols, he systematically killed everyone before him. His flips and kicks were graceful yet brutal, the cries of pain and pleas for mercy made her shudder. She couldn't fight him, no, she was afraid to. It would be best to find her family, she did all she could and got bystanders to safety. She quietly transformed back into Marinette and went to look for her family. She ran back to where she last saw them, she scoured the streets shouting "Maman! Papa!" hoping that using her French would help her parents find and identify her. She soon ran into the Red Beast, as she began to turn and run back before she saw the two people at his feet. “<No, no no no, please god no.>” she whispered to herself, tears building in her eyes. There lay her parents, in a pool of their blood with bullet holes between their eyes. Marinette dropped to her knees, silently crying. The Red Hood either didn't see her, or chose to spare her and decided to walk away. Marinette ran to her parents, grabbing them both and shaking them. "<Don’t leave me, please don’t leave me>” she wept. Later, she was picked up by the GCPD. They escorted her on the flight back to Paris along with the remains of her parents. When she arrived, she was approached by the Aide Sociale à L'enfance (ASE). They told her that she'll be staying at a nearby orphanage until after her parents' funeral. Then she would then be sent off to live with her only remaining relative, her Great-Uncle Wang in Shanghai. On the night before the funeral, Marinette was unable to sleep. She curled her legs to her chest while she sat on the mattress. She has spent the past few days researching the mysterious Red Hood, crime boss and self-proclaimed Prince of Gotham. She read article after article of his meteoric rise to power, first conquering Black Mask, then The Penguin. Nightmares plagued her whenever she closed her eyes, she saw the Red Hood tower over her parent's lifeless bodies, covered in their blood. She was worried about being sent off to a foreign country tomorrow evening, while barely even speaking any Mandarin. All the while knowing that once she is on that flight to Shanghai, her parent's killer would without a doubt walk free. Morning comes, yet Marinette still thinks of what she should do. Could she really go to Shanghai to start her life anew, not knowing the language and allowing her parents’ killer to go on unpunished? At the funeral, while standing over her parents’ graves, she remained silent. The priest, ASE agents and her friends all came to pay their respects. Each of her friends approached her to give their sympathies, but she did not listen to a word they said. The Red Hood weighed heavily on her mind, and she made her fateful decision. To run, run and never look back. She had prepared a backpack containing the Miracle box with all the Miraculous, along with a few essential supplies and money. She turned into Multimouse to sneak on board a passenger aircraft to make her way to Gotham City. Jason knew, better than Batman, that fighting crime sometimes meant getting your hands dirty. What started as a petty squabble between two rival gangs grew into a bloodbath. He missed Roy at times like these, Artemis and Bizarro were still missing, but he held out hope that they would one day return to this Earth. A teenage girl with an impressively sturdy yo-yo had burst onto the scene, trying to get civilians to safety. He was a bit too preoccupied with the battle to get a good look at the girl. Knowing Bruce, the next time he’d see her, she’d be under his wing. Sadly, there were two civilians that neither of them could save, a large, burly looking man and a tiny woman. The person who shot them with frightening accuracy had got away, moments later a teenage girl had arrived on the scene. There was a brief flash of fear in her eyes when she saw him, and she would have just scurried away if only he hadn’t been at the very spot where her parents lay dead. The girl was inconsolable as she fell to her knees and wept, pleading with them in French. Red Hood walked away, thinking it would be best to leave her to grieve. There wasn’t a whole lot he could say in English that would make her feel any better, never mind in French. He watched from a distance as the GCPD arrived to pick up the pieces, Red Hood watched from the shadows as police officers and an interpreter tried to get the girl’s side of the story. From what he gathered, the girl’s name was Marinette Dupain-Cheng and her family owned a bakery in Paris. Her next of kin was a relative in Shanghai, and it sounded like the best option for her would be to go and live there. The plan was to ship her and her parents’ bodies back to Paris, and let child services take it from there. He would have probably told her to get as far away from Gotham as possible, away from the clutches of a certain someone who was also orphaned in Crime Alley. He saw her cradle what looked like a small pink doll to her face as she wept, before he turned and walked away. A week later, Jason had a break in the case. This was all caused by some low-level members of the Falcone and Maroni families continuing their decades-old battle. As far as everyone knew, the crime families swiftly executed the men responsible and went about their business. Two crime families were unable to keep their lackeys in check, and now the people who weren’t lucky enough to be whisked away by Yo-Yo Girl, were now either dead or wishing they were. He thought back to poor little Marinette, wondering where she was now. Bruce confronted him at the Iceberg lounge shortly after the incident, to which Jason explained that the perp had got away. He had killed people before, and that wasn’t stopping anytime soon, after all it wasn’t that long ago that he tried to kill the Penguin. “This may surprise you Bruce, but the Red Hood isn’t the only one who uses guns in Gotham '' he snapped. There were some lines that even he did not cross, lines that he had drawn for himself. Judging by the accuracy of the gunshots, this was no accident. Their daughter was probably starting a new life, probably on the other side of the world. Still, he wished he could have said something to the girl, a simple “Hey, it’s gonna be all right” probably would have sufficed. Little did he know that Marinette was making her return to Gotham City. She would have her revenge on the Red Hood, and this time she had nothing to fear and nothing to lose. After her very uncomfortable 10 hour flight from Paris to Gotham City in the cargo hold, Multimouse quietly sneaked out of the crowded airport without alerting anyone. Marinette wandered around Chinatown, thinking of her next step. She was thinking about how she would have to go through the city with a fine tooth comb to search for a lead, likely starting small with his men in the streets. Before she could put the earrings back in her backpack, Tikki begged her to reconsider what she was doing. “Please Marinette, you need time to heal, to grieve,” she pleaded, but Marinette didn’t need the powers of healing, luck and creation. If and when she encountered the Red Hood, she wanted to bring him death, misfortune and destruction. After all, that was exactly what he had brought her. With a stroke of luck, she overheard someone getting a beatdown. "You get your ass outta here, this is Red Hood's turf. If you wanna sell that shit, you gotta give the boss his cut." Marinette whispered "Plagg, claws out" and transformed into Lady Noire, before sneaking up behind one of the Red Hood’s men. He released the person he was beating, and chased him out the alleyway. She took this opportunity to swing her staff, hitting the back of his neck and sending him face first into the ground. He immediately tried to stand up, as he stood on wobbly legs he took out his knife from his jacket. "Oh shit, Catwoman?!" he yelled. Lady Noire used her staff to sweep him off his feet and slammed her staff onto his face. "Where is the Red Hood?" she growled. "Screw you bitch!" the goon retorted. Lady Noire had a feeling that he wouldn’t tell her the location of the Red Hood, so she decided to try a different approach. "Fine then, why don't you give your boss this simple message…" Before she could finish her sentence, she heard the telltale click of a gun being loaded. She turned around and started spinning her staff, creating a grey shield to deflect the storm of bullets that were being fired at her. She moved her hands at a rapid pace, and frantically pushed back against the hail of bullets. As the bullet storm subsided she looked up and saw, up on the fire escape, was the Red Hood with an assault rifle. The Red Hood casually tossed his gun aside and asked "So, what's this message you have for me, Catwoman?" He gracefully did a forward flip and landed in a crouch. "Wait a minute..." he said, the first thing he noticed was that this person was tiny, 4’11 or maybe 5’ on a good day. Her eyes were a bright acid green with dark slits like a real cat’s pupils. "You're not Catwoman, you're too short to be her, for one thing.” he remarked “also she usually has a whip instead of a staff, who are you?" Lady Noire gritted her teeth, "You killed my family" she answered with a low growl. "Do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down Kitten?" Red Hood's taunts made her snap. She screamed "YOU TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME!" The Red Hood stared at her, as he crossed his arms. "I don't even know who you are, what's your beef with me?" He asked, Lady Noire lunged at the Red Hood with her staff, she swung wildly to try and hit him. He dodged most of her strikes with ease, “Is that the best you’ve got? You’re gonna have to try harder than that.” Where she might have lacked in skill, she made up for in determination. She wasn’t pulling any punches, he had to give her that. He caught the staff under his arm, and punched Lady Noire with his free arm. As he went on the offensive, he slapped her staff aside, and came at her with a series of punches and kicks. “So, what do you want Kitten? Money? Jewels? A very big ball of string?” he joked. “All I want is revenge,” she spluttered. “Get in line Kitten, you’re in the city that runs on vengeance” he retorted. Marinette was lucky that the suit gave her enhanced speed, strength and endurance. She always loved how the Lady Noire suit felt a lot lighter compared to the Ladybug suit. Though she shuddered to imagine what her opponent would do with this power. He raised his leg to end his combination with a forceful downward kick, Lady Noire raised her staff up to a horizontal block to stop the kick. Upon contact with the kick, the staff split into two, and then Lady Noire launched into her counter attack. She was striking the Red Hood with a flurry of blows with both halves of her staff. "Escrima sticks too? Looks like we have a Nightwing fan here” he smirked under the mask; this new girl was just full of surprises. He brought his arms to the sides of his head in a defensive posture, blocking the onslaught of strikes from the escrima sticks. Red Hood then grabbed Lady Noire by the back of her head, placing her in a Thai clinch. He launched a powerful knee to her face and sent her reeling back. He drew his pistols and fired a torrent of bullets at her. Lady Noire had to dodge, weave and use her staff to deflect incoming bullets. One bullet even grazed her cheek. She then pointed her staff at the Red Hood and extended it with so much force it slammed him against the wall of a nearby building. Without giving him any breathing room, she then retracted the staff. She launched herself towards him and then dropkicked his face straight into the wall. His helmet cracked against the tremendous pressure. "It's now or never” she thought, as she cast Cataclysm and swiped at one half of the Red Hood’s helmet. She saw the helmet dissolve and reveal the target beneath. She noticed that underneath the helmet he wore a red domino mask, not unlike the one she usually wore. She would have time to think about how overly dramatic that was later, as she used her other hand to pick up the knife on the ground that the other goon left behind. She jumped on top of the Red Hood, “Now perish!” she cried out as she thrusted the blade towards the exposed part of his face. Red Hood recovered quickly and caught her hand holding the blade. As the two struggled for the knife, Lady Noire tried to swipe at him with Cataclysm again. Suddenly, she felt the power of 50,000 volts coursing through her, as the Red Hood activated the taser hidden in his chest piece. She powered through, running purely on anger, grief and adrenaline. She was only able to struggle for about a minute, before passing out from the pain. Red Hood flipped Lady Noire’s unconscious body aside, before he took off his helmet to inspect the damage. "The hell?." he pondered, "So, indestructible staff that can do double duty as a shield, and the ability to disintegrate things with one touch. Let's find out who you really are." He slowly stood up and looked down at her unconscious body. He tried to peel away her domino mask, yet it would not come off. He tugged on the mask, even to the point of lifting the unconscious girl off the ground. He released the mask, and let the body drop with a small thud. The Red Hood began talking to himself "She either superglued the mask on or it’s something else. Considering all that she can do, I'd say 80% chance it's magic and 20% a lantern. Either way a 100% pain in my ass". He heard a small beeping noise and gingerly lifted her hand up off the floor. As it emitted black and green energy, he noticed that she had a ring on. The beeping came from a small picture of a paw print, which was missing a few pads. If she was a lantern, that ring was going to run out of charge any moment now. He took out his phone and called the Iceberg Lounge. He requested that they send for a van to pick him up and his new guest. He requested that the Su Sisters get her cleaned up and ready. He needed to find out who sent her and who she worked for. He took out the special handcuffs that Batman designed when dealing with metahumans. As he walked towards Lady Noire about to cuff her, he heard some more beeping, followed by a bright light surrounding her. Her suit and mask disappeared, leaving behind a small girl in pastel pink clothes who was probably no older than 15 or 16. Her long braid changed back into a couple of shoulder-length pigtails, and she had a pink backpack on her back. Jason looked inside the bag, there were a few sets of clothes, a wallet and an antique Chinese jewelry box. He wondered if that ring was just one of many tools in her arsenal. Jason's eyes widened, he recognised her as the girl he saw a few weeks ago when the turf war in Crime Alley broke out. "What’s she doing here?" he said to himself aloud, “ Idiot” he muttered. He remembered following the girl and her GCPD escort to make sure she boarded her flight back to Paris. She was supposed to be with her remaining family. Yet she came back to, no, ran away to Gotham City. All for revenge. He checked her wallet and saw the name printed on it, he sighed, this just confirmed that she was the same girl. When she had her revenge, what would she do then? He wasn’t the undisputed master of thinking things through, but even he thought she was a fool to come back here. Gotham City didn’t have the best track record dealing with orphans. He knew this from personal experience, but there was that time where many were rounded up and sent upstate to juvie, for the crime of trying to survive on the streets. He would have been in the same position, had it not been for his own fateful encounter in Crime Alley. He shuddered to think what her other option would be in a place like Gotham City, becoming a Robin. Part of the reason he wanted her out of Gotham was so that Bruce wouldn’t get any ideas about taking her in. When the car arrived, he scooped up the girl in his arms and carried her towards it. Marinette woke up with her heart beating frantically in her chest, the first thing she saw was a bright light. She was dead, she had to be, the last thing she remembered was confronting the Red Hood and now he had killed her. She slowly sat up, she looked down to find that someone had changed her clothes, she was wearing light blue pajamas. She started to look around, to her left there was a large floor to ceiling window where she could see a city at night with bright twinkling lights. On the table next to her was the Miracle box, she quickly grabbed the box and looked through it. She gave a sigh of relief when she saw that all the Miraculous she brought with her were still there. Suddenly, Marinette heard someone clear their throat. At the foot of the bed, stood a rather large woman who had a bundle of clothes in her hand. Next to her was a blonde woman with pink highlights who had a tray of food. “Oh good, you’re finally awake” the large woman said gruffly, she set the clothes down on the edge of the bed. The blonde girl set a tea tray down in front of her, along with a couple of pastries. Marinette’s heart sank at the sight of the croissants, they reminded her of her parents and their bakery. “Eat up and get dressed, the boss wants to see you later” the blonde woman told her, before skipping to the larger woman’s side. Just as the two were about to leave, Marinette piped up, “Um, where am I?” she asked, “Who is your boss?” “You’re in the Iceberg Lounge in Gotham City”, the large woman told her gruffly. “The name’s Suzie, this is one of my sisters, Candy. Our boss is the owner.” Marinette gave an awkward wave as they left, and Candy returned it with a more cheerful one. She took a bite out of the croissant, it tasted cold and dry. However, if she was going to defeat the Red Hood, she’d need all her strength. She put Plagg’s ring back in the box and reached for Ladybug’s earrings; she needed a new tactic. When Tikki appeared in front of her, she also quickly looked around the room before looking back at Marinette with a concerned look on her face. “I couldn’t do it,” Marinette explained “he managed to stop me and I ended up back here”. Tikki’s eyes were sympathetic as Marinette held her closer to her face, “Are you sure you still want to go through with this?” Tikki asked. “For now, I have to get changed and go upstairs to meet the boss. Maybe he’s the one who found me after the fight was over” Marinette theorized as she gave Tikki the cookie from the tray. While Tikki quietly nibbled at it, Marinette stood up and walked over to the edge of the bed. Inside the small bundle of clothes were a simple white blouse and black skirt. They were a little big, she would probably hem it if she had her sewing machine. Moments later, a tall woman with dark hair led Marinette into the penthouse, a large room with a desk in the corner. A tall man in a suit stood with his back towards the door, overlooking the sparkling city skyline. She slowly stepped inside, looking around the room as she walked towards the man. “Um hi, who are you?” Marinette asked as she apprehensively walked towards him. She couldn’t help but feel small in that grand high-ceiling room. “I am the owner of the Iceberg Lounge,” he explained. “I guess the question I should be asking is…” he turned towards her and Marinette saw he had a domino mask over his eyes and a red half mask covering his nose and mouth, “who are you?” He threw something at her and she caught it. She looked down and saw the Red Hood’s helmet, half of it looked as though someone tried to tear the metal open. Then she remembered everything she had researched about the Red Hood, and the fight that took place not long after she arrived back in Gotham. “You…” she hissed. To be continued...

#jasonettejuly2021 #jasonette #maribat #ml x dc

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chokememrstark · 6 years

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Requiem Of Memories // Part 12

Ship: Samifer (Sam Winchester / Lucifer)

Words: 2053 (Chapter 12 / 15)

Fic Summary: Sam still feels awkward after what happened between him and Lucifer, but he enjoys spending time near the angel and hates when he has to leave. On another day when Lucifer is out doing what he does, Sam has a conversation with Meg that opens his eyes about a lot of things and puts everything he knows about this world's Devil into a new perspective.

angst, hurt & comfort, alternative universe, au!lucifer, mourning, depression, blood and gore, nightmares, loneliness, guilt

Note: I highly recommend to read Nightmares Become Reality before this, otherwise the premise of the story and the setting might not make much sense.

Tagging: @shebahda @sassysupernaturalsweetheart @spnyoucantkeepmedown @brieflymaximumprincess @kajuned @archingangel @this-darkness-light @secretlydaydreaminglifeaway @humongouscandycoffee

If you want off the tag list or want to be added, just drop me an ask or IM!

Read on AO3!

Maybe it was just Sam’s imagination, but it felt like he spent more time with Lucifer after they had kissed a few times. It was casual and very similar to the way they spent time before, but it felt like it was more and Sam didn’t really mind. The next day Lucifer’s power had already recharged enough so he could heal himself completely and he informed Sam that the survivors of the Detroit massacre were now with them on the island, just to keep them safe. Of course this made Sam raise a brow, as he wasn’t used to Lucifer caring for his demons, but maybe this one was different in this way too. He had been surprised quite a few times already after all.

Lucifer was still considerate and friendly, nothing in his behavior towards Sam changed apart from him staying with him longer. There were no more kisses and no more intimate touches, but it didn’t become overly awkward either. Sometimes one of them would crack an ambiguous comment or joke to which they both laughed, but none of that felt forced at all, like Sam had feared. They were just the same as before, even though he often thought about their kisses when he laid in bed at night and tried to fall asleep. It was hard not to, really. Sam couldn’t figure out what the truth behind his joy in these moments had been, but every time he thought of them he could barely suppress a smile.

It took about a week before Lucifer told Sam that he had to go on another trip and would stay away for a few days, but he ordered Meg to look after Sam from time to time, so he wouldn’t miss anything. This time, the hunter was visibly sad to see the other leave and voiced his concern about his safety. It wasn’t something he usually did, but this time he couldn’t hold it back.

“Don’t worry, Sam,” Lucifer said with a smile. “I don’t expect any fighting this time, so everything will be fine.”

“I hope so,” Sam sighed and looked sadly at the angel. “Just promise me you’ll be back in one piece, okay? It’s boring when I’m alone here.”

“I promise I will be back soon. Until then, Meg will make sure you have everything you need.”

Sam didn’t like seeing Lucifer leave, but he knew that there were things to take care of, so he didn’t complain. Instead, Sam decided to tidy up his room and find something to distract himself with until Lucifer came back. It was evening when Meg eventually showed up, holding a huge plate in her hands that made Sam’s mouth water.

“Dinner is served,” Meg exclaimed when she put the place down and revealed all the delicious treats for the human. Sam couldn’t have been more obvious with his appetite when he plopped onto a chair next to the plate and began eating. Meg seemed to be very amused when she sat down across of the human. “Damn, is Lucifer starving you or what?”

Sam shook his head and swallowed the bite in his mouth before answering.

“He’s not starving me,” he said with a smile, getting another sausage from the plate. “But these are delicious!”

“Good,” Meg laughed. “Eat up, you need it after all.”

“How are you doing now?” Sam wanted to know, trying to initiate some small talk. “Did everything heal well?”

“Sure, demons have a pretty effective way of healing wounds,” Meg grinned kind of proud. “Took a few days and I was as good as new. Some others were off worse, but by now everyone is recovered.”

“I’m glad everything is okay,” Sam sighed. “Lucifer was very worried, but he said the island would be the safest place for everyone.”

“It is, he’s right,” Meg agreed. “They don’t know we are here, so we will be safe. Lucifer is patrolling with groups of demons daily to make sure the wardings are intact and everything is the way it should be.”

“I noticed that. He’s taking this very serious.”

“Of course, we can’t lose any more innocent people.”

“I wouldn’t call demons innocent, but you are probably right,” Sam huffed. He was about to take a spoon full of vegetables when Meg made him stop dead in his movements.

“Who said the innocents were demons?”

“What?” Sam asked confused and gave her a weird glare. “But, I thought Lucifer’s servants were all demons?”

“Of course, but Detroit was a safe haven for everyone, including humans,” Meg huffed. “They attacked only an hour after we took in a family of four, all human, and they slaughtered every single one of them. Lucifer was furious when he found out, you couldn't imagine.”

“Okay, wait a second…” This didn’t make sense. Why would Lucifer’s demons take in humans and why would Lucifer himself be angry that they were killed? Shouldn’t it be the other way around in both cases? “I can’t follow you, sorry.”

“I don’t know how much you know, but we don’t exactly run around and kill humans,” Meg scoffed.

“I didn’t think you would, but taking them in?” Sam still didn’t get it. “Wouldn’t that be, you know, the other side’s job?”

“The angels keeping humans safe?” Meg laughed so much, Sam thought she would choke from not breathing anymore. All the while he just sat there and stared at her in complete confusion. When her laugh finally ebbed away, her voice was amused beyond reason. “They prefer to smite them on sight, no mercy for humans on their minds.”

“That makes no sense at all…”

Sam tried to imagine angels mercilessly hunting and slaughtering innocent humans, but his mind couldn’t cope with this information. Why on earth would they do something so horrible and cruel?

“You haven’t met the angels in our world yet, huh?” Meg asked with a smirk. “They aren’t really the protective kind you might know. They are ruthless to the very core.”

“Our angels aren’t protective either, but they… they don’t kill humans if they can save them. It’s usually demons who do that…”

“Welcome to Bizarro World, I guess your rules don’t apply here.”

“Okay, now I need some answers.” The food was long forgotten because this new piece of information was all that occupied Sam’s mind at the moment. “If Lucifer protects humans, what’s his goal? I mean, what is this all about if not him trying to end humanity?”

“ End humanity? Are you joking?” Meg laughed again, but this time way more sarcastically. “Lucifer tries to save what’s left of your kind. It’s not easy because the angels literally hunt them down, but sometimes we are successful.”

“That makes absolutely no sense..."

“I don’t know how your apocalypse went down, but ours was pretty straight forward. Lucifer faced his brother Michael on the battlefield and one of them snapped. Small hint, it wasn’t the archangel you know.”

“What do you mean, Michael snapped? What happened?”

“I only know what others told me, sorry, I wasn’t there. But apparently Michael lost it when Lucifer wouldn’t comply to his rules. He wanted to fight, he wanted to settle this once and for all, and Lucifer didn’t play his game. He unleashed a firewall that burned everything within a twenty mile radius and Lucifer barely escaped his anger. Ever since we have to hide like ants because Michael’s troops are always trying to find and destroy us. Sometimes we gain a bit of ground, but more often than not we are forced to hide even better... Detroit is just an example of the way we live sadly.”

“Damn…” Sam hissed. He didn’t expect something so groundbreaking different going down, but he also had no reason to think Meg was lying. There was nothing to gain from doing that, so she must be saying the truth.

“You said your apocalypse happened too, right?” Meg asked curious. “What happened there? What was different?”

“Well,” Sam started, but his throat was too dry to continue. He quickly took a few sips of water and tried again. “They met too, but not like this. I was there because Lucifer possessed me, but I saw everything that happened. They just… talked? They never actually fought though. I managed to jump back into the cage with Lucifer and Michael before anything worse could happen.”

It was hard swallowing down the memories of this fateful day. He remembered everything as if it happened merely hours ago - how Lucifer had beat up his brother and how he suddenly retreated and all he could feel was pain and sadness; how he took control and jumped into what should have been his end. It was as clear as day.

“You jumped into hell, with both of them?” Meg sounded shocked. Sam have her a shrug and a nod. “Damn, Giant, you have some balls to do that.”

“Are you kidding me?” Sam laughed. “I was scared out of my mind! I knew I would die down there but I had to do it, there was no other way. The sole reason to say yes to Lucifer was to get him back in the cage. When things didn't work out and they actually met I grabbed Michael’s arm the last moment and just jumped without thinking.”

“As I said, you got some balls.” Meg seemed to be very impressed. “I don’t know about your Michael, but ours is like a rabid dog. He even kills his angels if they don’t succeed to follow his orders, no matter how ridiculous they were. You’ve dodged a dangerous bullet.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I understand the whole picture yet.” Sam shook his head. “Are you trying to tell me that Lucifer’s goal isn’t to end humanity and destroy earth? That he’s not the bad guy in this scenario?”

“If Lucifer is the bad guy, I’m an angel,” Meg huffed. “He’s the only one standing between Michael and the complete destruction of this world as we know it.”

Sam was completely out of words. How was this possible? How could it be that the Devil was actually trying to save this world and humanity, while his brother tried to destroy it with his angels? If this was true, he had thought about Lucifer in a very awful way until now. All this time he had thought the other hated his kind and tried to kill every single one of them while throwing this world into chaos. He couldn’t believe that it was actually the other way around now.

“That’s not what you expected, isn’t it?” Meg asked and Sam nodded weakly.

“Our Lucifer… he wasn’t the good guy,” Sam mumbled. “He said it himself, he just wasn’t. But what your Michael does… even he would have never gone this far.”

Saying this out loud made Sam feel like a traitor, but it was the truth, wasn’t it? Lucifer had said it himself. But even though he had sacrificed a whole town of humans to summon Death and was responsible for the death of many, many more, Sam didn’t think he would have gone as far as this world’s Michael did. For his Lucifer humans had been an annoyance and a plague, but not so much that he would have actively hunted them and killed them for fun. As much as Sam tried to imagine it, he simply couldn’t. That just wasn’t the Lucifer he knew, good or bad.

“Well, you’re not in Kansas anymore, Alice. This is Wonderland and it sucks.”

Sam smiled weakly, but he couldn’t deny she was right. It was almost impossible to stomach this new information, but it felt as if something in Sam had known the truth for a very long time now. Lucifer had never acted the way someone who was trying to destroy this world would have, or not? When he thought back, even all those years ago, when his own Lucifer had possessed him, there had been no such intention. All he remembered was the overwhelming desire to stop all of this madness... and still, he couldn't process the true meaning of Meg's words just yet.

In the end, this was most definitely Wonderland and it sucked massively, Sam could accept at least that without any questioning.

#samifer #sam x lucifer #sam winchester #spn lucifer #requiem of memories #multi chapter fic #myfics #chapter 12 #angst #finally the truth comes out #but you probably already expected something like this XD

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barbarasminerva-remade · 7 years

Text

dc heroes highschool au

so i was thinking about this and its my new baby but its really long so im putting part of it under a read more

the school is called justice academy and the school colors are blue, white and gold

theres a martial arts class at their school that bruce teaches bc he’s lonely and we all know he doesn’t have a real job

clark is the lunch lady who reminds kids to eat their vegetables

everything made in the caf is grown in the school garden that he has and he shames kids into not picking the unhealthy foods

bruce is smashing the lunch lady aka clark n he thinks no one knows but really the whole school gossips about how rich dude/part time gym teacher bruce wayne is banging sweet lunch lady clark

also clark and lois have an open marriage so they don’t have to hide their relationship but bruce is like........yeah but i don’t want ppl to know i’m dating someone who says y'all'd've'st

Kon HATES it bc he and tim are also dating

diana is the wrestling coach and everyone marvels at how good she is except donna and cassie (bc thats donnas mom and cassie’s aunt and she loves to embarrass them) n she’s known for having a rivalry with her the arkham academy coach, barbara minerva, aka her ex girlfriend

also diana is an ancient/world history teacher teaching history as it happened

Diana during the first day of class: The common theme in world history is that White Men Ruin Everything

donna is captain of the wrestling team

she’s really good and everyone on the wrestling team aspires to be her and everyone on the rival school’s (arkham academy) team wants to beat her

kory was an exchange student during her freshman year and eventually decides to stay. she’s cheer captain but also known for arguing for equality and stages like school walkouts and things and no one ever challenges her bc she’s tall and buff and her gf is the captain of the wrestling team

wally runs track and field

wally is iris's nephew and barry and iris met at a track meet when iris came to pick him up and he was like hey wally what's ur aunt's number? and wally was like ‘sorry coach barry my aunt isn’t looking rn’ bc he thought it’d be weird if his coach dated his aunt but barry shoots his shot anyways and now barry and iris are engaged

also wally is a senior n bart is a freshman so when barry makes bart co-captain wally is like what the fuck is the point of you being engaged to my aunt if i dont get nepotism?????? n barry's like wally he's ur cousin and wally's like not if he steals my scholarships and they fight a lot but they l*ve each other

roy is president of the archery club with his sorta sister artemis crock and jason is a lit nerd who roy flirts with but jason just thinks he wants homework so he ignores him

roy struggles with being a good dad while also fighting his addiction and work part time to try and save up for college after ollie kicked him out all on top of being a senior in high school

artemis is good friends w mia and conner bc first they were in the archery club together and then she joins the family after jade has lian and she’s like i’m sorry jade is vicious and tries to help out with lian as much as possible and mia and conner respect that

artemis is a really good aunt, she loves lian so much and spends all of her pocket money on taking her niece places. she ditches school to get slurpees w her girlfriends zatanna and m’gann. m’gann helps her study for her classes and with her homework. both make sure she stays in school cause artemis almost flunks out at one point bc of family stuff. also artemis is in lit club bc Z is in it and she supports her

jason lives in an apartment and he makes bruce pay for it as reparations for being a bad dad. but he also works bc he’ll be damned if he has to live off of bruce’s money permanently and eventually starts paying for his own bills and stuff

dick is captain of the gymnastics team and he’s really good. he’s the best in the region and has only ever lost a meet once (which was nationals, he came 2nd place)

tiger, dick, and helena went to summer camp together. tiger doesn’t go to their school, he goes to a gotham boarding school and dick sneaks into his room at night to hang out/make out and tiger comes to dick’s meets and helena tags along

also wally has a big crush on dick and he has since they were kids and dick liked him too. but wally thought dick wasn’t interested so he never went for it and then dick being dick just moved on and now wally just pines after him and it’s sad :/

damian is a snot nose 9 year old kid who hangs around the gymnastic team’s practices to hang out with his big bro and he sneers at the team and says he could do it better (which he can)

the summer before jason’s sophomore year he disappears after an incident and no one knows what happened to him but afterwards bruce sends him to boarding school to correct his behavior (which is where he meets amazon artemis and bizarro) until jason says fuck this and comes back junior year and everyone spread rumors that he like died while he was gone bc no one ever saw him so when he returned everyone was like :O and dick is really excited he’s back but jason is pissed at him bc he didn’t like support jason in fighting w bruce to let him stay

jason has bruce’s number blocked for the drama of it and bruce refuses to think his son blocked him so he's like "oh his phone must be off he's so busy love that guy (:" and no one has the heart to tell him. the rare times he does answer the phone when bruce calls, he recites a monologue and hangs up. he’s also president of drama club and also of literature club

jason recites historic and iconic monologues and soliloquies (bc he has them memorized for certain situations) except he just sprinkles curse words in

jason’s english teacher is about to fucking quit their job bc jason always tries to teach the class

cass is the best student in bruce’s class and also his daughter and she’s fairly quiet and hangs out mostly with her brothers. people like don’t really know who she is other than like hey that’s the kick ass dancer on helena’s dance team or oh! that’s the girl who kicked my ass sparring in Mr. Wayne’s class. she meets steph in one of bruce’s classes and she’s like wild and outgoing and funny and cass has a really big crush on her but she doesn’t think steph feels the same way (she does though) also steph can drive and she’s always taking cass on these really fun adventures but bruce doesn’t approve of steph so cass like sneaks out to go hang out with steph but bruce never knows bc he thinks she’s the perfect daughter and like steph brings cass out of her shell. she’s also on the gymnastics team with dick and is the second highest placing athlete on the team.

my boy duke thomas and his parents were good friends of bruce right so when during the summer before his freshman year his parents die in a freak car accident bruce takes him in. he’s a sophomore now and he’s still adjusting to life with bruce and he thinks his new siblings are kinda weird but cool. he’s also really focused on making sure his grades are immaculate so that he can get into his dream school and make his parents proud. he is in the school band and he’s really great and tim is also in band bc bruce made him but he’s not as good as duke

jason met duke at a family dinner he was forced to go to and thinks he’s cool unlike his other loser brother and makes him join literature club

tim drake is a freshmen and gets shoved into lockers. his only friends are kon, bart, and cassie. he joined the coding club bc he thinks babs is extra cool and wants to be like her

jason is the one shoving him in the locker and tim’s like what the fuck you’re the nerd here and jason’s like funny isn’t it and then closes the locker

bart hangs out with tim and kon and cassie. except cassie is cool from being on the wrestling team and being donna’s cousin so she’s always really busy but she tries to make time for them. wally shoves him into lockers sometimes and kon has to get them both out.

kon is in his rebellious teen phase where he's like fuck u dad i don’t wanna be a farmer but its justified bc kon is techinically an illegitimate child from a previous relationship and clark is kind of a dick to him bc he treats Jon better than Kon

helena and dinah make out under the school bleachers before helena has dance practice and when helena has to go dinah smacks her ass and says knock em dead babe

helena originally took mr. wayne's martial arts class because she needed PE credit but now she kinda likes it. the whole time she’s there she objects to bruce's passive approach to fighting

bruce: fight to disarm or incapacitate ur partner helena: thats dumb, fight to kill ur partner

bruce wayne voice: helena this is a PE class please stop trying to murder your partners

kate kane subs for bruce sometimes but she supports helena's kill ur partner attitude so they don’t hire her very often

helena is captain of the dance team and they perform at all school rallies and football games and shes really hard on her team mates but only bc she wants them to be their best and babs & dinah make her music mixes for performances bc they love her

babs is president of the coding club and even though she’s a nerd everyone respects her. her and dick went on a date once and then when he kissed her good night she realized she was a lesbian. they’re still buddies though. she dated dinah for awhile but they decided they were better as friends. helena and babs became friends in the martial arts class and babs introduced helena and dinah and the three have been bffs ever since.

#this is so long n theres a second post w more stuff hghjkhghfhj #creds to the sapphicdcnet for some of the ideas #esp mason #justice academy au #sapphicdcnet #justice league

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kendrixtermina · 7 years

Text

Cold Hearted Girl Blues

The “Cold Hearted Girl Blues” Anthology, & associated story ideas.

Just to be safe, TRIGGER WARNING for Disturbing Content and unhealthy attitudes that are in no way representative of reality.

Depiction =/= endorsement.

(Final order may vary)

Part A: Avoidant Attachment Style

Indifferent Girl Playlist - “The expression ‘I don’t feel so well’ makes no gramatical sense. It should be ‘I don’t feel so good’, unless you mean to imply that your ability to feel is hampered.”

Cold Hearted Girl Blues - “One Day she won’t love you either.”

Barren Heart - “The hypocricy of writing about things you know nothing about.”

There Was Nothing In Gauf’s Room - “It’s not her fault, either. What you get is what you see. ”

Failure to Manifest - “Sometimes, this situation has her feeling like she doesn’t exist.”

Cold Hearted Girl Gothic - “Just this single, isolated Conciousness.”

LEERE IST EIN PRIVILEG - “#Introvert Pride.”

Dweeb Life - “Ah, the obscure Joys of bein a shut-in”

Heroin Chick - “Involving no actual heroin.”

You're in a laundry room - “There has been a bit of a failure to connect with this world.”

Biology / inertia - “Even her happiest relationship didn’t go over without being compared to a robot at least once. Balancing extreme introversion with a live-in boyfriend.”

Diffusion - “She has no idea what she looks like. It always surprisesher what people say about her.”

Cold Blooded - “It’s a style of communication, apparently.”

Crazy Headphones Girl - “What could he possibly see in her?”

Cold Hearted Girl Erotica - “Her Kink is compartementalization, but she also dabbles in questionanble sex on drugs threesomes with a hooker.”

Cold Hearted Girl Tumblr - “Preempting the Discourse(TM). I was done with the 2010s when they were a new thing.”

Cold Hearted Girl Musings - “She tries to avoid the common pitfalls, at least in theory.”

Cold Hearted Girl Adventures - “She realizes that she’s the sort of person who breaks people’s heart; She’s like this asshole boyfriend from all these lovesongs.”

Cold Hearted Girl's Lament - “She’s usually the one who has to take it upon herself to be be the rational one and tell you ‘No’.”

Cold Hearted Girl Challenges - “Even the Best of her relationships involved her being compared to a robot at least once.”

Life is Gross - “Including the bits of it that are commonly accepted to be loveable and cute.”

Indifference II: Emotionally unavailable morally ambiguous chick - “There are character flaws, ppl. Being an asshole is generally a bad thing.”

Cyborgery I (the becomming) - “Even when she’s right with you,she’s so far away”

The Minimalist's Wet Dream - “She leads her life with a bare minimum of human contact.”

Alphabet Girl - “It would be one thing if you were competing with the universe, but it’s really her ingrown, self-absorbed world you’re playing second fiddle to.”

Peel - “You thought you could find a normal person underneath, didn’t you?”

Part B: Maladaptive Daydreaming

Endzeitromantik - “No one wants to admit these days that they ever liked NuMetal but she sees no reason to do the same.”

Unapologetic - “She’s not romanticising what she thinks you think she’s romanticising. Or so she thinks.”

Luciferosis - “She’s in love with the Devil and is planning to leave in order to be with him. Of course, she will be missed, but of course, she doesn’t care about it. She’s the sort of asshole who’d fall in love with the Devil.”

Opheliac - “There are multiple ways to be in love with the void. The most relevant ones are not featured in this piece.”

Lone Diggin' - “Going to restaurants on her own.”

The Girl In The Tower - “To preserve something valuable in safe, protected garden... that is not what you did.”

Bizarro Self - “She’s put some thought into this, actually.”

Dreamer Things - “That’s what she calls them, anyway. ‘Dreamer’ may be an euphemism here.”

Make Me Wanna Die - “She just wants to be special, probably because she has no idea what real suffering is. Words mean things, you know?”

Favorite Love Songs - “Though her real life is barren and deprived, she has a rich inner life. Well, then again, how ‘rich’ can an ‘inner life’ be that only ruminates tiny indirect tidbits of information?”

There Is A Little Harley Quinn In All Of Us - “Unpacking the Whole Badboy Complex. It’s not what you think it is.”

Strange Little Girl - “You really should be going.”

Abstract Dreams - “She doesn’t think they mean anything but she’s willing to indulge the thoughts.”

Joy, Joy, Joy, the Melancholia Rolercoaster. - “She likes to think she has feelings.”

Immortelle - “Involving no Actual Immortals.”

I Feel Personally Victimized By Those 19th Century Romanticists - “Even I am not sure what she’s trying to rove here.”

My Fantasy - “Her kink is apparently freezing to death.”

Cyborgery II - “She envies people whose calloused hands show their dedication to their passion.”

Reality Death - “Silly Rabbit, of course the world keeps turning when you’re not there to observe it anymore.”

Dandelion - “The flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all. But sometimes it’s better to be the Dandelion, which can take root anywhere and everywhere.”

Plunge - “If there’s some A grade deaster going on, she obviously won’t miss out on watching.”

Fairytale Ending - “My favorites were Sleeping Beauty and ‘The Salt Princess’. Go on and psychoanalyze me.”

Recontextualizing - “She has different words for it now.”

Peeping Tommie - “It’s at it’s purest where it belongs the least. Or perhaps she just grew the fuck up.”

Paper Flowers - “She’d like to think they mean something.”

Part C: Exercises in Counterdependency

The Butthurt Electra Playlist - “She’s got enough self-awareness to call it that, but not enough to realize it was a bad idea.”

She Will Have her Revenge - “She’ll come back as Fire/ To Burn All the Liars/ Leave a Blanket of Ash on the Ground.”

Hate Poems - “Or: Giving yourself Headaches over people who aren’t worth it”

Pavlov redux - “If you can’t understand like a human, you have to be beaten like a dog” - “Actually, Daddy Dearest, you’re not supposed to beat dogs, either.”

Im Real Good At Hating - “Honestly! I’ve got to have some talent somewhere. ”

Fuck You Specifically- “Her Lips: Fuck You. Her Hair: Fuck You. Her Clothes: Fuck You. Her crippling self-motivation issues: Fuck You.”

My whole existence for your amusement - “And that is why I’m here with you.”

Sick & Tired - “Yes I know what you think of me, you never shut up.”

Been A Son - “Why does she spend so much time searching for some kind of reason for what you did? Even if there was, it wouldn’t justify your actions.”

Make a list - “It’s supposed to be a therapeutic excercise.”

choice - “It’s the Morton’s Fork of emotions.”

gross girl - “FAART. FAART. She picks her note and eats it. ”

BratFactory - “She outright heard her mother say that she has no value to that man except as a mother to make children.”

AntiStar - “Back in the day, I became obsessed with the thought of a lightless Luminary, an existence that is the very opposite of light.”

Adaptation - “It’s amazing how much a human can twist themselves into a pretzel. It was a matter of survival at the time, you see.”

Emotional Abuse Checklist - “BINGO!”

Remember That We Suffered - “You have no idea what pain is.”

Cyborgery III: We can Rebuild Her - “Perhaps these vagrant years were simply the means to piece herself back together.”

Idetifikation mit dem Aggressor - “Apparently she looks just like him.”

Es Kocht Die Eifersucht - “A parent is supposed to protect a child from the bad experiences of their youth, not inflict some creepy reenactment of them upon you.”

Curmudgeon (Long Way Home) - “She’s that thing you go to when you want to have a cheap laugh.”

Visibility - “Your Father Loves you! why can’t you see that?”

Touchy - “You bet she is.”

Light - “She thinks she used to be Light once, but she can’t be sure.”

If I Die, I can be replaced - “I will leave you all behind, move to spain and adopt some children who actually deserve my time and money. Perhaps they will finally appreciate me, unlike you ungrateful wretches.”

My One Mistake Was That I Couldn't Let You Down - “Turns out she wasn’t quite Cold Hearted enough.”

PART D: USELESS, USELESS, USELESS CHILD

Fuckyeahmedicalgrossness - “In my humble opinion, the human brain is way too squishy.”

Something in The Way - “You can always find something.”

Unbirth - “Barely Functioning Lump of Human Flesh. Except no, that’s unfair to the people with real problems. I suppose ‘asshole’ will do.”

Donald Duck Volcano - “I’m not gonna sugarcoat her this time.”

My Wretched Soul Desires Violence - “It’s not pretty, but it’s true. It shouldn’t be but it is.”

Verbal Disclaimer - “I’m not claiming I’m perfect either.”

Useless Child - “How was she supposed to learn if you never let her do anything?”

Madwoman in the Attic - “And they always knew she would be the family spinster.”

Unfair Existence - “At the risk of sounding like a millionaire campaigning for a tax on poverty.”

The Mutant - “Way to make that 9 year old feel like a freak of nature... in the end it’s probably a kind of arrogance.”

Green Grunge - “It’s her jam, except not really. She sure can’t claim to be an expert.”

In Defense Of That Legendary Divorce - “The whole concept of ‘stay for the children’ is utter bullsh*t”

My Fantasy II - “I’m gonna kill all yo fuckers. That’s what quiet people who keep to themselves are supposed to do, right?”

Cyborgery IV – Plastic Death - “My Fetish: All the weak parts of the real me, cut away and dumped in a bucket of medical waste.”

Schreckschraube - “It occurs to her that she’s terribly gross to them.”

Nemo, or as my father lovingly calls me, "Chiquilla de Mierda" - “It’s Spanish for ‘Shit Brat’.”

Hasmereir - “Some of the cruelty is lost in translation, but it basically means ‘Make-Me-Laugh-Thing.’”

You Stink - “Bullies aren’t known for being very creative people.”

Sweet Sweet Reality - “She’s not completely out of touch with it.”

Is there More To Lose Than Gain - “Apparently yes, but she’s not sure how to get it anyways.”

Alraune - “Always with the legends and the soulless children. I think she has a type.”

Confession - “I plead guilty. Mostly to existing.”

Way Too Old For This And F****ing Bored Of It - “Even she is sick of all her emo bullsh*t.”

EPILOGUE: WHATS THE USE OF FEELING BLUE? - The next step, apparently, is crying.

#chgb #writing #baby tries to art #trigger warning

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spiritedavay · 6 years

Text

“Kids are like drunk adults”

I find it unreal you see

To draw the line between

What is real and fantasy

Because my mind keeps on going

But my heart keeps telling me

To be me

And the best me i can be

But you see

The me i want to be

Isn’t the same as what society

Wants me to be

And that gets me mixed up inside

And i can’t decide

Between the wrong and the right

Way to live my life

And the kid in me wants to break out

And shout out

That I’m moving to fast

And I’m thinking too hard

To chill out

And relax a little more

Cause it’s such a price to pay

For the freedom we choose

When the currency

Is not between hand and hand

But between the mind’s eye

But what you can’t see

Is the challenge that arises

When you start making

Compromises

To who you are

And who you want to be

I mean really be

Not fake be like the people on TV

I mean live

And feel careless and free

Happy

And the child inside is alive alive alive

✿----✿----✿----✿----✿----✿----✿----✿----✿----✿----✿

Thought about this while watching old Disney Channel videos and “kids taste ___” ... yeah thats a sneak peek into my recommended. I decided to wake up, and turn on my star string lights and pretend I was still 10, staying up till midnight.

You see, I wear purple overalls and pigtails. I jump into water puddles and skip across the cracks in the pavements. I really see myself as a kid - and it’s weird to me how serious people are, and me too sometimes. While i was watching that kids video, they were cracking me up because thats how i usually act when Im with someone Im super comfy with/by myself. But heres the thing, WHY in the world do we have to be so secretive about something that is so pure? I mean, why need to use a toxic substance to feel free again? That is the opposite of freedom. That is the highest prison we can keep ourselves in. This mental prison that takes brick and mortar to break down, and is capable of being reinforced throughout our whole life without our knowledge. Till the time comes when the kid inside breaks through the cracks when youre not paying attention. And it's not anything special about being a kid per say, it's just the purity of connection to everything....

Adam and eve before the fruit.

Got to thinking

the other day about how at a certain age we stop being friends with the other sex because they become partners rather than equal humans - we’re all so sexualized so young and it's so.... weird.... How bizarre of a thought is that? The innocence is gone and no longer can the two be completely innocent anymore - it's just weird.

So, the thing is - I see myself as a kid, but sometimes I still get caught up in the “adult” way of thinking... specifically with responding. I HATE talking fast, having fast conversation, and talking just to talk. Ever noticed that a kid thinks about the question and then came up with an answer, rather than immediately jumping to an answer or getting defensive? Yeah - how weird is that... that some of us have been conditioned to just respond...? I could place blame but that would do no good, and I really do believe that the only harm caused by anyone is because of the harm from themselves on themselves.

Let’s be real though - if an “adult” saw me acting like that, they’d think either Im cool orrrr that theres something wrong with me... why is there such a stigma with being a kid, yo?

Marijuana saved my life. On many different levels. My brain became radioactive when I was in middle school, and I just couldn't control it. Got worse. Such is life. I found marijuana calmed me down to a point where I felt normal... huh? Is this what normal people feel like? The ability to focus on ONE thing at a time? To really just... do something, and be completely involved in it? Sheesh - what is wrong with me? (hahaha) Needless to say, I would use weed to feel like I could be normal rather than buzz out on the couch. It was incredible for me... I became like me again... like I was in elementary school again. I was able to be free. Of course, no one NEEDS something else to feel any kind of way. And I find it extraordinarily easy to find that easy free kid-kind of place when Im by myself or with someone I feel comfy around... but anyone else..? No chance.

Why? Why’s that so hard for me? For others? I find myself responding so quickly in conversations - not able to remember what we talked about after its over. How bizarro. I just don't get it.

tHIS is the part where i just say whatever and do what i want. Stay up til 3. go to work and be a goob. why do we care so much, anyway. We’re a BLIP in the timeline of the universe - WHY ARE WE SO SERIOUS

#thoughts

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