#i just don't really care

[bhiik]

i feel like i literally don't even exist like i don't want things or identify with things or resonate with things or feel things like everyone else does. like i desperately want a favorite color or character or shape or food or ANYTHING but Everytime i do it feels like I'm just making a manual choice b/c I'm so jealous of everyone else just having an impassioned FEELING about it. i just wish i didn't feel like less of person all the time

#i literally don't do things for myself either like no matter how good my life is going or how undepressed I've been feeling #i just don't really care #my glasses have been broken for a year and i could get a free pair for one(1) phone call #but i won't ever think to aside from when I'm beating myself up at 4am #I've never been to therapy despite being aware for prob 10 years that it would really help me #but I just don't #i want to be better #but my through my actions i cannot convince myself of that

[bixels]

Just gonna have to wait and see, right? Just wait and see! Just gotta wait and see! Who knows, we'll just have to wait and see! It's anybody's guess, we'll just have to wait and see! The future is exciting, we just gotta wait and see!

#personal #my art #Fuck your fake ass 'i am very smart!' intellectualizing “observations” and open your god damn ears. #do something for fucks sake. it's sickening seeing videos of ai crap and seeing rows and rows of repliers using their one brain synapse #to type “wow! very exciting!” “haha this is kind of scary! but in a really interesting way!” #and then they go about their day without a second thought while creative industries burn around them #i go to one of america's top tech schools too and it's enough to make you wanna tear our your hair #every day it's seminars and talks about “the potential consequences of ai!” when the consequences are happening NOW #NO MORE DISCUSSING NO MORE INTELLECTUALIZING NO MORE SOCRATIC SEMINARS NO MORE DEBATING. ACT YOU COWARDS #people are getting hurt RIGHT NOW. stop pretending to care when you clearly don't! just be honest and say you wanna make money #my time here has really made me hate academic spaces. you people are so god damn useless and cowardly.

[birdmenmanga]

I think there's no greater indication that disco elysium is sympathetic towards communism when it literally says "communism is failure" and then the literal gameplay itself rewards trying and failing. The most obvious one being the Shivers check at the FELD mural, which is an Impossible 20 check BUT opens itself up again and again the longer you spend in the world doing things, but even just looking at sheer probabilities, for any given white check, rolling first and THEN putting a point into that skill upon failure is more likely to grant you success than putting a point first and then rolling, but that would require failing first.

Other things too: Precarious world saying you'll 100% fail red checks no matter what (not necessarily a bad thing, btw!! throwing the boule into the sea is a success but like. in some other ways one would want a perfect petanque throw instead. but people wouldn't typically assume that failure is desirable sometimes from the start) persuading you to accept that you'll fail some things that is irrevocable, for a world where everything is just a tiny bit easier.

The faux game over screen when you faint after reading Dora's letter— emulating a sense of failure on the scale of the entire game. When it rolls up most people go "What?? Game over?? No way, what did I do wrong!!" and waking up after that, with no huge or lasting impact on Harry's health or morale really tells the player, "Sometimes things will seem so bad that it all seems like it's coming to an end, but it's not the end, it's really not the end, go drink so water, you can still go on despite this failure"

I'm sure there are other things as well that are eluding me but like. The literal gameplay rewards failing and succeeding far more so than simply succeeding every single time, and I think you get a fuller experience of Elysium that way too

#just thinking thoughts... #disco elysium #idk man when did we get so scared of failing!! #people never want to speak in class because 'what if I'm wrong :(((' #well then you are wrong... that is okay... it's normal to fail... sometimes saying the wrong thing is a great way to jumpstart a topic... #'getting a good grade in X is both normal to want and possible to achieve' #okay sure but have you made peace with the fact that getting a BAD grade in X isn't a bad thing? #a bad grade in being friends... okay... so you didn't check up on someone in 3 months... you failed... that's fine... #you can learn from it!! you can learn how to keep in touch with people. how to take care of them when they're sick. #how to resolve a dispute. how to communicate and compromise. these are all things you are not born with #and will fail first before succeeding at #Like yes I get that in the age of surveillance your failures may be recorded and preserved forever and that's not great #but if we don't normalize failure I really think we'll just suffocate and die

[uncanny-tranny]

Basically, my philosophy around disability fakers is: I would rather a thousand people fake a disability than have one disabled person suffer without care, aids, compassion, or any help.

#disability #disability advocacy #and there's a difference not many people seem to recognize between faking and realizing you don't have [x] problem... #...such as realizing you don't have [x] disorder because it is instead [y] disorder... #...or you haven't completely understood your care needs/your symptoms/what helps you... #...and some people see ANY change in your understanding of your disability as proof of maliciously faking... #...when i suppose in my personal experience people don't *maliciously* fake disability... #...i'm not saying it could never happen but that i don't think it's the *only* thing motivating people called fakers #i just think (like most everything) this is complex and nuanced because it's a *human* experience #like for me personally i /know/ i still have a lot to learn about my disabilities... #...like... i realized recently that my hands shouldn't be in AGONY when warm water is ran over them when it's SLIGHTLY cold inside or out... #...and i realized that i likely have a Noticable limb difference that needs checking out. does this sound like i'm faking... #...or that maybe i just didn't really explore my own needs and body because of a variety of factors? #i can assure you it is because i haven't really thought before about how i deserved to understand how to best help myself

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Laios's three Boy Best Friends. And yes, they hate him.

#dungeon meshi #laios touden #toshiro nakamoto #chilchuck tims #kabru #BF in this context could be boyfriend or best friend. The line is so blurry. #Chilchuck less so but whatever is going on between Shuro and Laios & Kabru and Laios is giving strong: #“dude if you were a girl I'd date the hell out of you”. And from the genderswap extra's that sentiment is canon for BOTH. #This was made prior to the translation of the Laios & Kabru & Shuro restaurant date comic and honestly I am just feeling vindicated. #I don't even know what to call this dynamic other than a situationship. There is so much going on between all of them. #Even on a purely platonic reading - the miscommunication and male yearning for friendship hurt so bad. #When we got the Big Hug scene in the epilogue arc I was whooping and hollering! Pure catharsis moment! #I also don't like hugs very much so I really felt it went Shuro ('hates being touched') went in for the bear hug. #Do not get me started on the agony of 'always lying' Kabru telling the truth (I just wanted to be friends) #and 'always believes' Laios thinking it's another lie and brushing him off. #I am once again supporting dungeon meshi day by posting art. Please watch dungeon meshi. #obligatory edit because I’m tired: YES. Chilchuck cares for Laios and him admitting it was a huge part of his arc #YES he is more just fed up with him that actually hating him. #I needed a third guy to be canonically done with his ass for the THREE WEED SMOKING GIRLFRIENDS reference

[obsidianbit]

I love this gay ass show with its literally life ending injuries that heal immediately, but only when convenient to the plot, and its ridiculous use of modern phrases, and its laughing in the face of historical accuracy, and its kissing the face of the fans instead of trying to outwit them, and the way everyone involved in the show seem to go 'I KNOW RIGHT! I'M EXCITED TOO!' instead of mocking the fans

#i have so many feelings #i can't quite express the way everyone involved seems to want us to love the show #like when you love something so you show it to a friend and vibrate with excitement while you watch them love it #so that you can scream about it together #it feels like djenks and the writers and the cast and the crew are in on the joke *with* us #which contrasts so sharply to the way so many fandoms find themselves to *be* the joke #the joke being how much we love the show #the fact that everyone involved cares *so much* about the show is really obvious #not just this is a fun show but this is a *meaningful* show #i truly have never felt so much like i have a community as i have with this show and the fans of it #it is also one of the only shows i can think of (maybe some of neil gaiman's adaptations?) where the trademark over analysing and meta #and theories of the fans isn't ridiculed #this ties back into the being in on the joke thing #back when we didn't know blackbonnet was going to be *canon* canon #and djenks reaction to us freaking out that we were RIGHT was basically #well yeah? #i want to write a love letter to everyone but i don't know how #ofmd #mine #our flag means death #david jenkins #ofmd s2 #ofmd 2 #kissing david jenkins on the mouth

[bacchuschucklefuck]

while teen while goblin while aroace while injured while doing your best

#fantasy high junior year #fhjy #riz gukgak #figueroth faeth #sklonda gukgak #dimension 20 #this. mmmmhhh this is so. I did Not know how to draw this really. #I am very normal about riz (<- lying) #it's a brennan-dm d20 campaign the bad guy is always capitalism (I am saying this with clenched teeth) #riz out of all of them being aroace fucks with me SO bad. bc its also established that elmsville specifically and probably the #majority of solace is not. made for goblins. and that becomes sklonda being worked to the bone and pok dying on the job #and riz spending all his time trying to keep his friends together. maybe to the point of it being injurous #like. do u get what I mean. its an economy of time it takes your time it eats up your time #not just the gukgaks but everyone you have to spend time to get to live and you don't have a lot of time left in a day #and you have to spend it carefully. you have to prioritize #you're somewhere without an established community and companionship is bought with your time spent working #this place doesn't take care of you. at the end of the day who do you have who'd prioritize you. do you understand me #the evolved aroace loathing where if your friends and family are granted more time nobody would have to choose. we live in a society #holds ur hand we live in a society. idk if Im making any sense #anyway . uhhh riz is my favourite that's my statement thank you for listening. au revoir

[old-desert]

Ah yes, hooman Loop

^ early concept

#I don't think much of human Loop designs but if it is on my mind I always think of it as like #that one “Loop gets summoned by the gang” fic on ao3 where tall Loop started shrinking and then just kinda Siffrinifies back #basically yeah I imagine if Loop human then wish craft ran out #Loop's hairstyle is basically Siffrin if they ever brushed their hair #the headcanon behind this is that their time spent as a star made Loop appreciate their old body so #if Loop ever gained back their Siffrin body they'd really want to “preserve” it #it's self care but only in a roundabout way #They're not thinking about it in terms of “looking good” it's about saving their body at its peak condition for the longest time possible #due to trauma and stuff <33 #also yea they definitely own like 1000 creams salves and oils for every part of their body #isat #in stars and time #loop #isat loop #loop isat #isat spoilers #my art #art tag #desert art

[caffichai]

Hoshiguma offers a snack for these trying times

#Hoshiguma pulled in at second place so here we go! #the snack is supposed to be tacos #I literally could not get that hulk meme out of my mind for some reason so it is brought into reality here #Also I know she doesn't really look like that but I also don't really care lol Hope y'all enjoy the buffness #arknights #pixel art #digital art #artists on tumblr #hoshiguma #oni #buff #I also realize I seem to be using a lot of pink/blue these days and idk why. Just can't seem to shake it :P

[dreadark]

that ivan loves till is the most obvious thing about them

but. does ivan know that…?

the ivan that regards his own feelings as shallow, the ivan that learned how emotions are expressed only from copying others… does he even know that the love he’s felt for so long is love? probably not. and part of the reason is the one he loves himself

because the easiest example he has of love is till's feelings to mizi. till outright calls it love, and ivan watches him so much he has to be aware of this and till’s love to mizi is totally unselfish, right. he doesn’t seem to actually want much from her—just that she's still there and still "mizi"

but ivan can't be satisfied with just watching he… wants. ivan wants till’s attention, till’s affection—

surely this selfish wanting can’t be love

...no wonder he was never able to express his feelings straightforwardly when he belittles them so much but he can’t stand not having anything either, so he does… whatever he does instead to get any scraps of attention he can, from someone he's convinced doesn't care about him at all only showing affection when till can't see it, right until he knows he's going to die

but ivan's feelings for till are all he still has of himself... to think of them as shallow...

I've seen this translated as "I should've been kinder" to him (till) or to her (sua)

but really, the one he should've been kinder to was himself

#alien stage #alnst #alnst ivan #ivantill #i have a lot of thoughts on till -> mizi too but this is long enough #just attempting to rewrite my twt rambles more coherently #idk why i wrote this so dramatically tho... #'thank you for being the victim of my shallow emotions' is going to haunt me to my grave #ivan's character is just a careful balance between his natural freak nature and his extreme depths of self-loathing #making him the most miserable guy ever #...really once you realize so much of what went wrong is thanks to ivan just hating himself too much to even think of them as friends. well #c...can we bring him back... don't die like this..... #(also you know. with the implications of how 'pets' are treated #wanting someone physically must feel... even more wrong

[saprozoicworm]

im forcing people to hang out with stan on the farm and today its wendy

#the song stan learned was absolutely (story of a girl) btw #i don't really care abt the ship i just like drawing characters together #south park #stan marsh #wendy testaburger #stendy #or whatever

[kala-mies]

We'd play our parts and be people later

#jrwi #just roll with it #jrwi riptide #jrwi show #jrwi fanart #lizzie lafayette #ava ferin #kala art #frigatebird #waning crescent #I love all the short hair designs for Ava and sometimes I wanna give her a cool haircut too #but I'm too obsessed with the idea that early campaign Jay was trying to emulate her sister as much as possible #though I do give Ava a low ponytail instead of a high one to help tell them apart #this is honestly really wonky but I don't care I needed to draw them or I would have exploded

[get-rammed]

Okay, hear me out. Demon Adam-

#Only Vaggie and Husk openly go “That's literally Adam-” everyone else just “who's the new guy?” #hazbin hotel #Hazbin adam #Hazbin Hotel adam #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin hotel fandom #hazbin hotel spoilers #Not really but it also is in a way so bap #Demon Adam #My art #Sfw #I got thoughts and ideas about this guy fr #Demon Adam it's just Adam with a new hat but somehow people can't tell/don't care enough to acknowledge it #Charlie is more or less “Okay but this is a chance to redeem him-”

[broken-heart-raven-queen]

I just tought about that time Neil and Aaron had to be separated from eachother by some random athletes (who spontanoeusly got names) because they were trying to kill the other and then a few days/month later the same people saw Neil with Andrew and were like WTF

#aftg #all for the game #andreil #andrew minyard #neil josten #aaron minyard #aftg brainrot #nora sakavic #i feel some people just can't differenciate them #or don't care enough to do so #they were really confused #like wtf man why you cool now?

[horsechestnut]

I absolutely love how casual the Seaweed Brain name drop was! It would have been so easy to make it a big moment, or to have Leah put emphasis on it, but no. Because to us it's huge, but to the characters it doesn't mean anything yet. It was perfect.

#i just think about it compared to like #the MCU or recent star wars stuff #which will name drop just to get the audience excited even if it doesn't make sense for the characters to care #and it makes me really happy that they just slid Seaweed Brain in to the middle of a sentence with 0 fan fair #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson disney+ #pjo series #pjo #annabeth chase #seaweed brain #pjo tv show #especially compared to the way they do it in the musical #don't get me wrong I ADORE the musical #but god the amount of emphasis Annabeth puts on Seaweed Brain drives me insane

[kinnbig]

BL Actor Answers Your Questions About Thai BL Industry | Perth Nakhun

#this was such a good video!!! there are a few parts i want to gif but this was one of my favourites #i also really like that about thai bl :D characters just get married anyway lmao they don't cARE what the law is #perth nakhun #kinnporsche #kinnporsche cast #kp cast #thai bl #darcey.gif #darcey.txt #kpcast.gif #uservik #darcey.main