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bookwyrminspiration · 1 year

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greetings. i have a Pronouns Question: you have it/whatever in your bio. Is it/its what you'd prefer to be mainly used, or do you like all pronouns with a slightly higher proportion of it/its, or? what's the pronoun situation here?

Salutations! I have a Pronouns Answer. It's whatever. You can use any and all pronouns to refer to me, whatever you feel like using. I'm more of a no pronouns person, but I know that can be inconvenient grammatically to do and since I don't feel a connection to any pronouns, I don't mind what you use, so take your pick.

If you want to pick one and only use that, that's fine. If you want to use every conceivable pronoun under the sun at the same time, that's also fine. Somewhere in between? Also fine. Do what you like! Outsourcing it to others to choose feels similar enough to me to having none that I'm comfortable with it, at least for the time being

I have specifically highlighted it/its because I do have more of a fondness for those than others, but it's not too strong of a preference. I'm just as comfortable as a he or a xe or a fae or something else as with it/its. And it is fun to have a mix, so don't feel like you have to use it just because I'm more fond of it/its.

If we're getting more specific, she/her is my most meh, as I always wonder if people are misunderstanding my identity when using them--though that feeling may improve with time. So I avoid those in real life socially, but on here? For people like my mutuals and who understand more about my gender? Go for it! They are still 100% on the table and can be used--better if used in tandem with others because then I know you know more about my identity and aren't putting me in a box, but at the end of the day? They're pronouns for other people to use and not my problem. I use I/me, people who need to refer to me can sort out how they want to refer to me for themself and I don't mind what they pick.

That's a long way of saying i like it/its, but I don't feel a true connection to any particular pronoun or the idea of pronouns in general, but since no pronouns can be inconvenient you may refer to me however you wish :)

#pronouns #quil's queries #fintan-pyren #thank you for asking I appreciate the opportunity to explain #also to preface: I know if I feel strongly about it I am entirely within my right and deserve to have people refer to me without pronouns #i just don't feel strongly enough about it #at least not right now #perhaps at a later date I'll switch to no pronouns #but for now? you're the ones who need to refer to me so you can pick #and being referred to in a variety of ways feels similar to that tetherless feeling of having no pronouns (to me)#so its reaffirming and I don't mind it #like you could use anything and it won't make a difference because there is no one pronoun or set of pronouns for me #does this make sense?#i hope it does but I can explain more #the pronoun situation is do whatever you what I don't care :)#you cannot gender me in a way that matters and all that #i'm overexplaining it but like. it makes sense in my head

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puppetmaster13u · 5 months

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Meme Prompt 2

Thinkin of feral halfa Jason again. No surprise there.

#dcxdp #dpxdc #prompts #halfa jason #de aged danny #alongside the entire class #GIW were doing experiments with the more ecto contaminated of the amity parkers #And experimenting with how cores are formed in hopes of learning how to permanently destroy them #They just chose the worst place to set up their labs thanks to there being a new reaper-class ecto-being settling down there #Does this count as mpreg lol #Technically he's just carrying the cores until they can reform bodies even if they're lil babies now #Well their bodies are toddlers they still have their minds for the most part #I imagine this takes place before anything like the Titans Tower or just after the heads in a duffel bag #On one hand he's not thought to be gunning after robin #on the other he's a very territorial brooding halfa with no one explaining to him why he's so aggressive to intruders #he stress bakes and cooks a lot which the children of crime alley and people are chill with #free food after all #Crime Alley seeing Hood's glowing green eyes: We've connected the dots #Jason with his several toddlers with teh same glowing eyes: You haven't connected shit #Crime Alley already researching supernatural and alien creatures: We've connected them #jason todd #crime alley #goonion #danny fenton #jazz fenton #dan fenton #ellie fenton #valerie gray #tucker foley #sam manson

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wodimewoahtime · 3 days

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the course of ivans life is locked in by sua and i think he understands that a little

its ivan who will follow till, its till who will follow mizi, and its mizi who will follow sua (and sua follows mizi too ofc)

just round and around, they go in a circle till theyre picked off for slaughter

mizi doesnt know that, but sua does!!! sua does!!!!

mizi is unaware of the threat thats coming her way, so its up to sua to leave. she doesnt. theyre stuck. when sua follows mizi, ivan sees a priest digging her grave.

my view of ivan sua is very much "ivan is willing to break the system for till, but till wont follow him"

"ivan watches as sua sacrifices herself for mizi within the system"

"ivan is envious because the person she loves is willing to follow her anywhere but the best she can do is die"

i think it says a lot about suas passive suicidal ideation

#i sometimes feel bad about always bringing ivan and luka into the conversation when talking about sua #but i think those two explain more about sua than sua does as a character herself #especially ivan who's suas parallel #rather than her direct reflection like luka #we can learn about sua through luka by looking at what hes like #and we can learn about sua through ivan by looking at what he's not #hope this makes sense #im normal #mizisua #ivantill #sua alnst #mizi alnst #ivan alnst #till alnst #alnst #alien stage

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skitskatdacat63 · 3 months

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I don't know how I'd ever convey this in art but. Thinking very deeply about how in boy king au, a very crucial part of characterization is that Seb is a wolf in sheep(or lamb more specifically)'s clothing and Fernando is a sheep in wolf's clothing.

Seb is very unassuming, very delicate, seemingly very vulnerable and malleable. But, deep down, he can be very ruthless. It's in the the way he hesitantly declares war, with a spark in his eye and a suppressed smirk. In the way he challenges someone to a card game or a horse race, proclaiming that he's not great, but winning every round and prancing around the room and mentioning it ad infinitum. The way he's able to instantly turn the tide in a debate in one fell swoop. By showing all his cards constantly and letting himself be vulnerable, he's making himself invulnerable. No one would ever consider him to be able to make big moves, so he wins every single time, because no one even thinks to expect it from him.

Fernando on the other hand, is constantly committed to having a looming presence and harsh reputation, but deep down, he's soft. He knows what happens to people when they're vulnerable, and he's not going to let himself be taken advantage of. The way he keeps a brave face when being informed of the marriage proposal, but goes back to his room and cries. The way he proclaims that he was always going to be the rightful ruler of Spain, but confides to Flavio that he never thought there was any real chance of it ever happening. The way he takes himself so seriously in public, but inside feels so giddy whenever he can make someone laugh. Everything to him always feels unstable and ready to crumble at any moment, and he's not willing to contribute to that by letting himself relax.

I think thats why it's very difficult for them to get along at first, because they have completely different approaches to how they carry themselves and make their way through life. Seb is confused at Fernando because he feels that he's very bland and overly serious at first, but truthfully he's not really seeing the actual Fernando. And Fernando finds Seb to be naive and easily taken advantage of, but that's because he's never seen Seb at his most cruel. Seb really loves when he eventually gets to see Fernando being vulnerable, and Fernando really admires and respects Seb when he sees him being serious. I think it just takes a while for them to show the other their full and complete selves, even the parts they can sometimes be ashamed of. There's this very compelling dichotomy in Seb laying out all his cards, but still being very difficult to read, and Fernando keeping his cards to his chest, but his intentions often being easily seen through.

#meanwhile everyone else: what is this weird fucked up mating ritual they are participating in #though i think its very interesting how their motivations differ #seb wants to lull people into a false sense of security(and also really just likes to be his complete unadulterated self)#and fernando is guarding himself because he doesn't want to get hurt #and i think seb convinces Fernando that its okay to be openly soft and yourself :) not eveyrone is out to get you #and fernando teaches seb hey maybe dont invite this obvious assassin to your chambers?????#i think seb also has insecurites but Fernando's are just more easy to explain bcs hes in a much more difficult situation #at the end of the day both of them are putting on facades in some way #(i think seb likes to be himself but also does feel really hurt when people dont think he has the capacity or ability to rule effectively)#(he likes to be kind and playful and doesnt want to obscure that part of himself. but hes aware it can hurt his image unfortunately)#also lol the way i characterize fernando is very historically accurate btw #bcs the spanish court tradition was basically to be above it all and be a lofty unobtainable figure if that makes sense #yknow having just this insane level of confidence and infallible image of yourself as the ruler #the guy seb is based on really bought into that idea but i dont think it really suits seb so yeah #seb I think is very much a unique figure that others have a lot of trouble reading him and his intentions. which is great!#AAAAAHHH MAN FELT REALLY GOOD TO WRITE ALL THAT OUT !!!!!!!!!#i love writing their characterization so fucking much you dont understand #its nice to put it in words like this bcs yknow i dont rly enjoy actual writing. but this i enjoy greatly #hope this is compelling to more than just me hahaha #boy king au #catie.rambling.txt #vettonso

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front-facing-pokemon · 10 months

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#WOOOOAAHHH THEY'RE TRANSPARENT!! I THOUGHT REGIICE WAS BLUE BUT LIKE #i guess it makes sense that they're actually transparent! 'cuz! they're made of ice! i kinda wish they were blue here since that's like #more iconic and i feel like they'd be more recognizable if they were transparent but i guess this ALSO looks cool #and no‚ the stuff in there is not‚ like. its brain or whatever. it's just FULLY transparent and you can see through to my desktop wallpaper #and that's what's showing through its head. which is like cool but i'm worried makes this guy a little bit less visually distinct #actually yeah it kinda does LEMME redo this one but with a blank background and see if it looks any better #yyyeeeeaaahh okay this helps a bit. more visual clarity. i'll replace it with the one where you Can't see my desktop wallpaper #i might leave that version under the cut actually. but i'd have to add some text to the post which i generally don't like doing. just to #explain what it is. cuz not everyone is gonna read these tags #i'll just. leave it the way it is. in two weeks i'll just hope i remember what wallpaper i had applied when i took the original image #cuz i have it set to change every night through a set list of images that i update whenever i find a new image i like that's roughly #the resolution of my monitor. i dunno if anyone else does this #most irrelevant tags ever #regice #thanks for the catch on the spelling nidoskull

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hamartia-grander · 4 months

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Hi, just wanted to ask a honest question because I've seen you post about it a few times and I genuinely don't understand where you're coming from when you say this. How is remake Leon a misogynist?

Most recently I saw you point out him calling Ada heartless, but I don't see how that's him being sexist. He says that in response to her telling him information on where to find Ashley, having previously told him to leave her behind (to presumably die or worse), and I don't think its misogynistic for him to make a jab at her for that. Especially because Leon's big motivation is saving people, of course he wouldn't be a huge fan of anyone telling him to intentionally leave someone to die if he's able to save them. (This is also not to say Ada's a bad person for suggesting that, I love Ada and her character but I also understand why Leon would be upset by such a thing)

If there's anything else in the remakes that I've missed you point out I'm curious to what else makes him misogynistic because I just don't see it.

Also like a sidenote I guess almost all of Leon's misogynistic lines are from original re4 but Luis also has lines like this, so I don't understand why he gets to be distinguished between versions and Leon doesn't when you talk about their characters.

"honest question" and yet, you seem to have already formulated an idea of my answer (and an opinion of me) based off of one post where I casually mentioned it, and you decided to look no further before getting defensive about it. Are you even asking? Do you even care to learn? Or will you just ignore everything I say? And asking anonymously is very funny to me. Literally who are you.

I talked about it here, kinda joked about it here, and I very thoroughly detailed it here, as well as reiterated in the comments. I'm so tired of repeating myself. It's 1am now bc I took the time to find these posts for you lol. Maybe read them before you try attacking a straw man.

But to the Luis point? I absolutely do separate og RE4 Leon and remake Leon… Like literally my entire POINT is that no, remake Leon is still sexist, just differently, and here is why… I really don't understand how you came to this conclusion lmao.

The main idea is, Capcom thinks they've written out Leon's misogyny; but because Capcom itself is a very bigoted company, they perpetrate misogyny in everything they make and they don't even realise it! They genuinely think the way they wrote remake Leon absolves him from the misogyny when it doesn't, it just re-contextualises it in a way that Capcom deems palatable. They still see Ada as an extension of Leon! They still see Ada's worth revolving solely around how Leon feels in response to her actions. It's ridiculous. And the way Leon is written to treat her, the lines he's given towards her, reflect this attitude, and becomes misogynistic when he treats a male character who has done worse than Ada right in front of Leon with respect and empathy.

#begging people to stop and think and actually analyse things before getting defensive. Why do I have to keep doing the work it's exhausting #Like I'll keep doing it but damn.#Why does someone suggesting that your fave has misogynistic context make you upset?#Why are you defensive over that rather than over how he treats women?#I notice these things because I pay attention to the female characters and I value them equally as characters #Maybe if you valued Ada more and paid attention to her as a character and how Leon treats her versus how he treats Krauser #you'd see Leon's unwarranted cruelty towards her is misogynistic because of these differences in his behaviour #Maybe also stop seeing Leon as someone who can do no wrong and have no flaws when you expect the same of Ada fans.#etc etc #not tagging anything but I hope to God people stop asking me to explain. PAY ATTENTION.

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puppyeared · 5 days

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who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it

#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it #idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character #someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it #and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly #its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked #because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately #like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means #it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by #a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time #i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid #so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or #smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them #become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words #but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened #especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that #need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta #once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it #circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it #actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt #i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me #that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly #mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them #have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP #IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL #yapping

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prettyboykatsuki · 5 months

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i have many many many critiques about wylls story, most of them being about the fact it's just so lackluster in game when compared to other companions which is a shame. because wyll to me is and has the potential to be an even more emotionally compelling companion. and he was early access!! he was so gritty in ea please bring him back larian i beg of thee. the way he was rewritten has stripped him of so much nuance and depth. wyll to me is such a wonderful character to me because of what he represents, which is heroism so down to his core he never gives up on it even when he ought to

his goodwill and nobility are ceaseless. at the center of his story is betrayal trauma, his agency over himself vanished into thin air. mizora turns him into a monster and there is no turning back. he has become the thing he's despised, the things he's hunted for his entire life. and we know so little about that canonically because of the way his story is set up but its hinted time and time again that he struggles with his reality deeply and even that cannot make him turn away from the city he loves so much.

if larian would go back to clean up and fix his story (which im truly praying to god they do) i want them to touch on what wyll must be going through as he continues to try to ground himself and deal with his newfound reality. i want them to touch on the abandonment he experiences because of his father and the inevitable burden his title as blade and hero has on him. because these things obviously compel him, they're hinted at all the time but they were completely stripped of him in final release and its fucking disheartening... larian please im begging you. thats the love of my life. please.

but for now i will do it with fanfiction and gather enough wyll fans to make a fuss about it . peace and love

#aristotle.txt #wyll ravengard #bg3 #i love wyll so desperately. which makes sense as a deku lover certainly.#but i love him even more because his story is narratively interesting #here is a classically heroic noble making a devils pact to save his city #who is only rewarded for doing this by being banished from the city hes sworn to protect. by his father no less.#he spends seven years away from home and makes a name for himself as a fucking folk hero #he never returns. he doesn't explain himself. he decides that the least he can do is give his life to the sword coast #and then wyll meets karlach. a devil hes supposed to kill except shes not #and because wyll is wyll and because what matters to him most are his beliefs he is easily convinced to not kill karlach. he doesnt want to #kill karlach. so he doesn't. and he pays the price for it. his entire existence is uprooted and he is turned permanently into a partial #devil #hes become his own prey. he spends the game clearly sorrowful in the mourning process. and the game just refuses to touch on this set up #as a WRITER it boggles my mind why wyll does not get that attention from larian because the concept of a hero balancing the weight of his #own pain and sorrow against his beliefs is moving. being able to open up that path with tav narratively that allows wyll to be #selfish and heartbroken. to not be blade or sword. just wyll. what a beautifully interesting storyline would that have made #i have delusion in my heart. i hope they fix it. i want them to fix it so badly because i fucking adore wyll in every way.#and i want the game to represent who he is as much as i feel for him. he is an origin companion and deserves it.#bg3 spoilers

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sskk-manifesto · 1 month

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(´･ᴗ･ ` )

#I really like the “We're the bad guys' enemy” line. For someone I generally despise Dazai has all my favourite lines in this show…#Idk I can't really vibe with the unbalance that there is between s/kk.#Like when push comes to shove‚ Dazai has the power to keep Chuuya alive or let him die.#I understand why they make a compelling dynamic in their complexity‚ but it just doesn't do it for me.#I'm a little sad my opinion on them hasn't really changed since I watched the anime for the first time...#Also; I really can't vibe with Chuuya allowing Dazai to kill Q. Yes I know Chuuya cares about his comrades deeply.#Yes I know it can be interpreted as Chuuya seeing himself in Q as a living weapon and being disgusted by it #(though I honestly don't think that was intentional of the author).#Yes I know Chuuya is a mafioso and kills people. No I don't think your personal issues justify you being a dick to other people I'm sorry.#Back to my main annoyance with the episode: I must have already talked about this but I hate hate hate the narrative #“the mafia works for the city” “the mafia deeply loves the city too” it's so so sickening and insulting please stop I'm begging.#Please visit any actual city with a rooted mafia presence for once in your life (signed: someone whose hometown was destroyed by the mafia.#The writers really don't know what they're talking about and‚ politely‚ it's offensive.)#Also b/sd keeping being extremely nationalist with Mori (who's largely depicted unsimphatetically for the first part of the episode)–#bringing up western thinkers and subtly mocking Fukuzawa for not knowing them–#and Fukuzawa (the righteous man. the noble spirit and just soul in this episode and Mori's antithesis)–#stepping forward to say that he knows strategists from the east (because who else would he need?)#I don't know if it's meant to symbolize the conflict with an hostile and invading foreign power (the Guild).#But it does come across as. A very isolationist way of thinking.#I know it's subtle but it's really evident for me. And I didn't want to talk about this any further…#But by bringing actual examples of this I hope I can better explain why I think that b/sd holds nationalist views–#and that I'm not just making it up out of nowhere. Otherwise I fear I'd only come off as pettily hostile to b/sd in everything #That's it. I feel like I've been losing a lot of mutuals over my main recently due to not shutting up (sorry)#so I suppose it's only fair I lose them on here too pffttt.#Tune in next week for more bad takes #random rambles

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hystixia · 3 months

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heyy dont get your hopes up because im extremely shit at this, but i may be writing a jeff mason x reader fanfic lmaoooo but heres the catch (totally fine if you dont want to do this) i always chicken out and overthink the characterization of jeff- i need some tips from THE jeff mason writer jgdgdfkjgnd like how u write him is so perfect *swoons*

I FUCKING LOVE HOW I HAVE SO MANY TITLES AND THIS IS A NEW ONE OMG OAODKADKEO “THE jeff mason writer” you’re so sweet omgomg im kissing you sm right now AKDOWOFOGKW

honestly though i just imagine what his mannerisms are like if that makes sense ?? i watched his case file so many times i could literally picture different ways he’d act in certain scenarios in a fic if i ever wrote one ( which i eventually did MAODOWODEO ) writing dialogue might just be the hardest part abt him though. cuz his dialogue ( at listen visually looking at it on a screen ) is written differently compared to how i’d normally write for “jeff the killer” ( this is just my own take and personal preference on writing his dialogue btw. you do not have to try what i do. it’s just to give a little more detail to him and it itches that one part of my brain when i read my own fics.) if that makes sense. whenever i’m writing for him, i make sure i can picture him actually saying/doing whatever im writing in my head ( kinda like watching a scene of a movie play out in your mind ) or else i try to rewrite it to sound more like jeff mason. im really bad at explaining shit because all i can really say is watch his case file and really focus on what he says and how he behaves to get a grasp of his character. and then mess around with dialogue until you think or know it sounds like something he’d say !!

#! doll takes notes !#! sessions !#also . . . add his lil ‘heh’ sometimes too cuz omfg when he does it in the case file and his sessions i literally go insane #but yeah i hope this was alright ? if you have anything more specific to ask just lmk cuz i can definitely try to go in depth in something #that’s more specific. when it’s kinda open like this it’s hard to explain properly how i write him cuz as you can tell my brain is a fuckin #mess even when writing abt him LMAO i feel like i do it so oddly but it helps me even if its kinda time consuming i suppose #BUT YES OMGGGG PLEASEEEEE DO TAG ME IN THE FIC WHEN YOU DO POST IT !!!! i will gladly eat it up i love jeff mason smmm

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alchemiclee · 7 months

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been looking in tags for a few days now to see if anyone else found the whole high cloud quintet and related story to be a bit.....poorly written, nonsensical, contradictory, full of plot holes and loose ends, etc. apparently i'm not the only one. (and i'm not even talking about shipping stuff, because any time I saw someone mad about bad writing, someone always replies to be homophobic and laugh about failed ships. weirdos.) it could have been so good but was thrown into the garbage for the most part (IF you noticed all the plot holes and contradiction. if not, then it's a fine enough story tbh. I expect most people to see it on surface level and not read all the little hidden lore bits and try to piece it together like my autistic brain did. which is ok! enjoy it if you liked it and ignore me 😆)

#apparently one of the writers did it on purpose. wont explain here. you can find it elsewhere. but it makes sense now #that's why it fell apart and didnt make sense in the end #ive seem people say anyone mad about it is a shipper and thats why. they use it as an excuse to be homophobes #youre gross get out of thos fandom. im here as someone upset about the story who was very skeptical about any ship theories and focused #more on plot theories and overall friendship and stuff so its not even about shipping you het weirdos!!!#the contradictions and plot holes are bd regrdless of who you ship lmao stop reducing it to that #aure its fine if you ignlre those plot holes. but it happened to be the little plot holes that interested me the most so its obvious to me😅#cant wait until a talented writer in the fandom rewrites the whole story a lot better and fills in the holes and ties up the end better #please someone do this 😭#lee text #hsr #i just wanted a close found family who met a tragic end #my idea for a better way to write it is dan feng wanted free from the high elder cycle and yingxing helped him create a new elder #but it went wrong and failed because the preceptors fed him wrong info hopong it woukd destroy dan feng since they hated him #instead it was yingxing that died and dan feng selfishly brought him back somehow and thats why hes immortal and hates dan heng now #they created a monster in the process that made a mess and baiheng died trying to kill it maybe but hit its weak spot #so it was weaked enough for jingliu to slay it #maybe for a plot twist jing yuan somehow knew the preceptors were up to something and didnt stop the two because #they were too stubborn and he knew it would do nothing #we know the dragon heart disappeared so either it ended becoming bailu in the end #or it could be inaide blade bow. another fun possible plot twist. they never explained where it went so it coukd be a n y w h e r e #i had other ideas but i forget now. bht baiheng deserves better as well. just being a plot mechanism to make two dudes be stupid #is kinda bland and boring and wasted her character. she deserves better too!!!!#id write this if i had the time and brain power but ill hope someone else does it instead #OH yeah i forgot a big idea. dan feng and yingxing perhaps try to also kill the arbor and end the abundance and long life/reincarnation #and maybe that was one part that led to it all going wrong or something. since yingxing wanted revenge on the abundance for destroying #his home and family???? and dan feng wanted to escape the cycle? similar wants that worked together snd failed #these are all ideas from past theories i read and my own ideas i came up with all of which are better than what that bad writer did!#these are very incomplete ideas that im sure someone else can write better #lee rambles

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snobgoblin · 9 months

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also pro tip from me being less insecure/having better control of your anger doesn't mean "I never feel this way" it just means "I can deal with it better now and don't go with my first instinct anymore" so like don't feel bad if you still feel shitty or angry or sad. I'm not a therapist but like. you probably always will. and you just gotta remember it's gonna be fine and the last thing you wanna do is take it out on anyone. don't bottle it up. but never take it out on anyone. it's ok to feel like a jerk. just don't be a jerk and you'll be fine

#does this make sense. idk #anyway ive had to learn this the hard way 48392939 times i hope this helps someone #like- if you need a more specific example dont go to your friends like 'you guys hate me you always make me feel left out you guys suck'#calmly be like. hey i feel upset when you do x #can you please stop doing it? and if they dont. theyre not your friend #like... i guess try to remember people arent out to get you all the time #and any resentment you feel is likely a misunderstanding and you can work it out calmly #you can still be upset. just dont be accusatory. explain your viewpoint

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skitskatdacat63 · 8 months

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Boy King AU | Vettonso + Martian | 1.3k

There's something about putting the future emperor of the Holy Realm on his knees like this. About how easily he goes, how willingly, how obediently. What would his adoring public think if they could see him now. If they saw their beloved king pressed down like this, in the cramped space between Fernando's legs. When they realized their little boy king took it like he was a little concubine instead.

Fernando's bitterness is lifted away in moments like these, like taking off a heavy cloak on a winter's day. It was hard to feel humiliated about his own situation when watching Sebastian debase himself like this.

He always gives himself up so easily. When Fernando threaded his fingers through his thick curls. When he pulled them, and then when he pressed his face down further down into the vee of his legs. Sebastian rubbed his cheek into the coarse fabric of Fernando's breeches and blinked up at him. Fernando had to smother an embarrassing sound; he was just like a little cat!

Sebastian quirked his lips up into an odd little smile and slightly rose up on his knees, "What's funny?" Fernando swallowed lightly and schooled his face back into being impassive, "Nothing. As you were." Sebastian simply smirked at him and let himself be pushed back down by the fist clenched in his hair.

Fernando scoffed internally, there was only so much pleasure in putting the other man in his place when he instead acted like this, this degrading action, was his birthright. He took to ruling and indulging in carnal pleasures as if they were of equal gravity. To be privileged to hold such high station and also let himself be taken apart like this…Fernando felt embarrassed for him.

He is dragged away from his musings when Sebastian moved to settle his hands in Fernando's lap, clutching his hips over the fabric and slightly squeezing; Fernando fought against the urge to shiver. Sebastian pushed up the skirt of Fernando's waistcoat and smoothed his hands over the opening flap of his breeches.

His eyes darted up at Fernando again, a daft smile on his face. Fernando scowled at him, "What?" Seb's grin sharpened, "You could stand to be a little more gracious. This is your future emperor, and future husband might I add, kneeling for you on this dirty, depraved, derelict- ah–" Fernando tugged on his hair again and hissed, "Well then, why don't you show me how eager you are to perform your marital duties?"

Seb licked his lips, completely unconcerned by Fernando's annoyance, and unbuttoned one side of the closure to Fernando's breeches and moved to open the other–

The door to the carriage flew open, arrival announcement dying on a wheezing breath as the servant took in the image the two kings made. One splayed across the seat, exuding power, the other kneeled, debauched, between the former's legs.

One would be hard pressed to determine which was higher on the totem of power and titles.

There was something gratifying about this to Fernando, about being caught. He had been humiliated enough throughout the entire courtship, what was one more thing? And, certainly, what was one more thing if he could drag Sebastian down into the dirt with him.

"Oh Mark, don't act so abashed! It's nothing you haven't seen before, in fact, we have been in this very position not even a fortnight ago!"

Oh. Yes. That.

It was hard to be completely pleased when he remembered how Sebastian had already spent years prior to their engagement sampling the palace's ample selection of fellow high-born men. And how all those men seemed to be completely and utterly wrapped around his little finger.

Fernando released his hand from Sebastian's hair as if it had burned him. He did not understand why he felt ashamed with Mark looking in on them like this. Fernando was the one marrying Sebastian, not Mark; Mark was just a lowly courtier who had the esteemed duty of spending practically every waking hour with the brat…something he himself was decidedly not looking forward to.

Sebastian stayed kneeling, staring impassively up at Mark, still fiddling with the clasp on Fernando's breeches. Fernando gritted his teeth and looked up from where he was watching Sebastian's clever little hands; Mark stared back at him placidly.

Mark's indifference made the entire situation worse. Fernando now felt as if he was not doing anything unique, not doing anything particularly new. How many other men had Mark caught Seb with in this exact position? Fernando felt like he was just another plaything of the boy king, soon to be boy emperor, except his position was forever, permanent. He was the "Kept King", the king who only kept his throne due to the whims of a boy who doesn't even understand what power is.

Mark coughed, "Well," he says, "Your Majesty, I do believe you have a meeting to attend." Seb pouted at him and whined, "We were just getting to the main course," but still braced himself on Fernando's thighs and got up off the carriage floor.

Seb pranced down the steps Mark had placed next to the carriage, miming tripping sown the stairs, snickering when his action made Mark reflexively reach out to grab him, and then playfully skipped off the final step.

Fernando couldn't help but stare as Mark made the weirdest grimace in response, and he inexplicably felt all his mortification seep away from him. Huh. Maybe Mark is-

Seb then turned around and frowned at him, seemingly disappointed, but his eyes are deceivingly sharp, "Fernando, I regret to inform you that I have other duties I must attend to, you will simply have to wait." He then grinned up at Mark next to him and giggled as the other man stiffened when Sebastian looped both of his arms through Mark's.

He leaned all his weight on the other man, Mark not so much as shifting his weight, "Oh Mark, won't you carry me back to the palace? I'm so very tired after all the horse riding," Seb looked up at him imploringly.

Fernando observed as Mark rolled his eyes and shrugged off the man, though notably not pulling his arm from Seb's grasp, and he got the distinct feeling that this exact scene had been played out countless times before.

Fernando clenched his jaw as he watched Seb turn and saunter off, Mark trotting alongside him like a loyal dog. Fernando was supposed to be the unaffected one in this partnership, the unflustered one, the unconcerned one. And yet here he stood, in broad daylight, in a foreign kingdom, on the steps of a carriage with his breeches half unbuttoned and his cravat in disarray.

He heard a cough from beside him, jolted and looked to the side. Sebastian's loyal Horse Master stood there, lounging against the side of the carriage. Fernando had forgotten who had even been driving the carriage in the first place. After Seb has let himself be pushed down, his hair still windswept from their ride together, everything else seemed to fade away. His thoughts were reduced only to how he could mess up the younger man's hair further.

Jenson grinned at him wolfishly, and casually crossed his legs, "First time?" he inquired. Fernando glared at him. The other man laughed openly at him, "What? He's a busy man with big prospects. You're not his majesty's only conquest, you know. Now your throne on the other hand…"

Fernando seethed, it was one thing to be humiliated by the future emperor, but to be patronized by the king's horse boy? No. It would simply not do. He closed his eyes in annoyance, pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaled, and prepared a speech about how he was not about to be talked down to by a man who didn't even have a throne to speak of!

But when he opened his eyes again and opened his mouth to begin his tirade, Jenson was already wandering away to tend to the horses. Dios mío, Fernando was not mentally prepared to spend the rest of his life with all of these impertinent morons.

#i love how i kept saying to people: no no i shant write any fic for this. only art.#me like two weeks later: hey guys :)#this is just: i was sitting in class and had a drawing idea but then im obv not drawing *this* in class so my brain went into narrative mod #not exactly 'baby's first ficlet!!!' but moreso ive not written in a while so i hope its alright???#but aaahhh this was actually pretty fun!! idk i think it was bcs i was also being brainrotted by the image of seb kneeling....#maybe ill draw it. but it felt like something that needed the context of narrative and not just oo here is a drawing!#anyways you can always ask me for a directors cut-(PLEASE PLEAE BEGGING PLEASE)#see this is why im not cut out for writing fic #its not like i dont think it can speak for itself. more that im just an overly reflective person who wants to explain all my thoughts #if i wrote fic itd really be just: chapter 1. chapter 1.5 chapter 2. chapter 2.5 #anyways i think its pretty obvious but this is before their wedding and just like peak bitterness.#well not peak. peak would be the first year- first few months of their marriage #but this is fernando who is only just realizing how naive all his expectations of seb were and getting a glimpse of his future #but mostly: mindgames and power play and: whos actually really winning?#also my god jense is literally the best chara in this au. he is vibing and basically just witnessing ye olde reality tv #mark and fernando are always in a weird powerplay with seb(even if seb isnt even consiously doing so) and jense is just free from it all #hmm now how does one go about tagging fic #vettonso #f1 fanfic #formula 1 fanfic #f1 #formula 1 #martian #sebmark #also idk why im always so concerned abt tagging when im basically just writing this for my little boy king following i have somehow formed #hahaha! it is art to me!:#catie.art.#boy king au

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