#i havent written in SO long and i am sorry but i hope u like this

[girasollake]

everything i wanted

ꨄpairing: neteyam x fem!omaticaya!reader / jake sully x reader(platonic)

ꨄrequested: no

ꨄtype: mostly angst, some fluff

ꨄsummary: you always wanted to feel appreciated, neteyam always wanted to be the best warrior; in short: u seek validation in older men cause you dont have family and because you are the best warrior, neteyam is jealous of you, the whole fic roughly follows the plot of atwow!!! ummmm kinda enemies to lovers?????

ꨄwarnings: SPOILERS AHEAD, DONT READ IF U HAVENT SEEN ATWOW, mentions of being shot, angst, my bad writing cause i havent written anything since september, reader is a year older than neteyam

ꨄa/n: i feel like this is so bad i am sorry

ꨄword count: 3,402

‘How could you both be so stupid?’ You threw your hands in the air and shot a glare at Neteyam. ‘You could’ve died! Does that mean nothing to you? Your father explicitly told you to observe, not engage! You are like a child Neteyam, both you and Lo’ak!’

‘I wanted to stop him, he’s just too disobedient.’ He avoided your eyes.

‘And you had to take the blame again? He’s never going to learn if you keep doing that.’ You shook your head and sighed.

‘Can you stop? I’m the oldest and I need to protect my siblings.’

‘No. No, Neteyam. I am the oldest. I may not be your sibling but I am the oldest and, believe it or not, I wouldn’t forgive myself if anything happened to them.’

Especially you.

‘You can protect them, be a big brother, but don’t take credit for every stupid thing they do!’ You moved closer to him and snapped your fingers in front of his face to get his attention. ‘I know you want to prove your father you can be a warrior, but it doesn’t mean that you have to put your life at risk when Lo’ak does something stupid.’ You huffed. ‘Just be careful next time.’

Neteyam felt jealous of you, of the way his father trusted you enough to put you in risky missions because he knew you would survive, of the way he praised your fighting skills and of the way he put you on a pedestal. You were born during the first war with the sky people and both of your parents had died fighting. The clan surrounded you with love when you were growing up, but you had never had anyone to call a mother or a father. You were just an orphan trying to find a place alongside everyone that you crossed paths with. So, when Neteyam was jealous of you having his father approval and trust, you were jealous of him for having a real family. When you were younger you would hide behind the trees and watch them cuddle underneath the night sky, your little heart breaking and longing for this kind of comfort and love. Even though you were Omatikaya by blood you still sometimes felt like an outsider. You occupied your time with training, flying, shooting arrows and that’s why Jake was impressed, that’s why you were one of his favorite warriors and he knew he could trust you. He even got you your own gun, which Neteyam and Lo’ak were especially jealous of.

Deep down you knew what this was about. Jake cared about you, but not like he cared about his own children. That was the real reason you were sent on those missions, the reason he took you everywhere with him on fights. He just didn’t want to risk his sons life's. You knew that and you still took part in everything because those were the moments when you felt like you belong.

° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 °

‘Can we talk?’ Jake asked from behind you.

‘Of course, sir.’ You nodded your head and stopped sharpening the spears.

He sat down next to you and sighed.

‘We are leaving tomorrow.’ He said firmly. ‘This is not a safe place for my family anymore.’

‘Oh, I see.’ You whispered, a wave of sadness ran through your whole body.

‘I want you to come with us.’ Your ear twitched and you looked up at him with hopeful eyes. ‘And I want you to promise me you will protect my children when I won’t be able to do it myself.’

‘I promise.’ You answered quickly. ‘I’ll do my best, sir.’

He smiled at you and stood up, ‘Tomorrow after the ceremony. Be ready.’ He shot you one last glance and walked away.

The next day you were waiting for the Sully family by the ikrans, your thoughts were interrupted by a loud shriek of Tuk.

‘Are you coming with us (Y/n)?’ She asked after she ran up to you.

‘I am.’ You smiled at her and after giving you a hug she ran back to her mom in order to get on an ikran with her.

While you were checking your bags attached to your own animal, you felt someone intensely staring at the back of your head. You didn’t have to turn around to know it was Neteyam. You never knew why he gave you those weird glances, a part of you wished they weren’t that hateful. At first you tried being friends with him, but after a while his behavior towards you had changed. While you were getting along with his younger siblings, he was always staying away from you, watching your every move. The relationship between you felt like some sort of rivalry, but there was always this warm feeling you couldn’t shake off when you knew he was nearby.

After a long, tiring flight to the Metkayina clan you were exhausted, the thought of laying down was the only one in your head. You made the appropriate gesture towards the Tsahik and the Olo’eyktan when they arrived and you suddenly felt really small under Ronal’s gaze. She started walking around you all, examining your tails and postures.

‘Is this also your child, Jakesully?’ She asked, you could feel her judging eyes on you.

‘No. She’s not my child, but she is the best warrior in our clan and she is important to my family.’

‘Is that true?’ She moved to look into your eyes.

‘Yes, Tsahik Ronal.’ You gave her a long nod and felt the warm feeling spreading in your heart after hearing that you were important to the Sully’s.

She whispered something to herself and went back to her husband who a moment later agreed that all of you could stay with them. You smiled to yourself when you were walking through the village following Tsireya, everything felt so fresh and untouched by war, those people didn’t live in fear unlike your clan. You dropped your belongings on the floor and went over to Neytiri to help her.

‘It’s okay, you can go with others and learn the Metkayina ways, I can handle the unpacking.’ She told you and put her hand on your arm.

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes, go.’ She smiled sweetly and playfully pushed you towards the exit of your new home.

You ran towards the shore and started looking for your friends. When you finally spotted them you quickly jumped into the water and swam quickly in their direction.

‘Can I join?’ You asked Tsireya when you emerged from the water.

‘Of course!’ She gave you a smile. ‘Follow us everyone.’

After swimming for a while she took all of you to meet the ilu’s and learn how to ride them. You were scared of failure, especially after seeing how fast Lo’ak let go of his ilu. Tsireya helped you get on the animal and told you that you’re gonna be okay, you just have to hold it tight.

‘How could she not be fine? She’s the best warrior after all.’ Neteyam muttered with annoyance.

‘Stop it.’ Kiri smacked his arm.

‘What? She shouldn’t be here, her place is with the clan. I don’t even get why she’s here with us in the first place.’

‘It’s not my fault your dad values my skills more than he does yours.’ You replied harshly and then without a second thought told your ilu in your mind to go forward.

You felt angry at Neteyam, rage was filling your body. You were the best for a reason and you would prove that to him. You tightened your grip on the handle attached to the animal’s body and took the biggest breath in your life before diving into the depths of the ocean. The speed was horrible and you felt your hand slowly relaxing.

No. I won’t give him the satisfaction.

You tightened your fist and held the handle even harder than before. After readjusting your position and squeezing your thighs to feel more steady you felt the oxygen slowly leaving your lungs. You shut your eyes and rode upwards, soon emerging from the water and jumping with your ilu only to dive again. You rode over to your friends and smiled at Tsireya. Everyone was impressed, because this was your first try and it definitely required special skills to get it this perfect. Annoyance was written on Neteyam’s face, he scoffed and started swimming away. You sighed and got off the ilu.

‘Neteyam, wait!’ You screamed and swam towards him.

He didn’t even look back and you reached him after you both got out of the water.

‘Neteyam, what happened?’ You touched his arm and he immediately turned around to face you.

‘You happened.’ He scoffed. ‘I am tired of you taking my place all the time. I try so hard to meet my dad’s standards and it’s never appreciated because of you!’

‘It’s not my fau-‘

‘It is. It is your fault.’ He interrupted your sentence and walked away quickly.

And there it was again. The feeling of loneliness consumed you once again, when the boy you adored walked away feeling only hatred towards you. Sure, you were often picking fights with him, replying to his comments with the same energy, but maybe this time you really did take it too far?

° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 °

You were helping Tsireya with some of the duties one day and Neteyam was far from you, but still in your sight. You were stealing quick glances at him so that your friend wouldn’t see it, when suddenly he quickly swam away and you couldn’t see him anymore. You excused yourself and left Tsireya by herself to go and see what had happened that made him go that fast. The closer you got to the direction he swam towards, the better you heard voices screaming and sounds of fighting. You came over to Kiri, she was softly laughing at the pile of boys in front of her. You had to admit it was funny, but at the same time you were all supposed to be on your best behavior. Because of that, you walked over to them and hissed loudly, their heads turning to face you.

‘Enough.’ You spat and looked over at Lo’ak and Neteyam. ‘Both of you.’

They stood up and walked towards Kiri, you hissed at the Metkayina boys once again and turned around to join the Sully’s.

‘It was going well, you didn’t have to-‘

‘Was it, Lo’ak?’ You stopped and looked at him. ‘You were supposed to be on your best behavior, what were you thinking?’ You turned to the older boy.

He didn’t reply to you, he just took his brother by his arm and walked away.

‘You are both unbelievable.’ Kiri whispered making you turn your head in her direction.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Just tell him you like him already.’ She whined.

‘You know I can’t.’ A sigh escaped your lips. ‘He hates me, Kiri. He sees me as a rival, he despises me.’

‘He doesn’t.’

‘He does.’ You said louder. ‘I don’t want to talk about it anymore, let’s go.’

‘Lo’ak was the one that started that fight, he was just helping him.’

‘I know.’ You replied and looked down, soon arriving at your home.

‘And you? Why weren’t you keeping an eye on them?’ Jake turned to you when you entered the shack.

‘I’m sorry, I was helping Tsireya.’ You avoided his gaze. ‘Next time I won’t let anything happen to them.’

And you were right.

You jumped down from your ikran and landed on the sky people’s ship. Neteyam found his way to his siblings and Tsireya as fast as you, jumping onto the deck from his ilu. You shot your arrows towards some sky people coming towards you.

‘Cut the handcuffs!’ You told him when he reached you.

‘Come on, bro. Hurry up!’ Lo’ak screamed at his brother.

You turned around and saw Tsireya and Tuk jumping into the water, ‘Go! Both of you!’ You yelled at the brothers.

Neteyam started dragging the boy away, ‘They have Spider! We have to help him!’ Lo’ak tugged on his brother’s arm.

You locked your eyes with Neteyam, ‘Shit!’ He hissed. ‘Okay, let’s go.’

‘No, you are not going anywhere.’ You stopped both of them. ‘Go back to your father, right now.’

‘We have to help Spider, please (Y/n).’ Lo’ak looked at you with terrified eyes.

‘UGH!’ You shook your head and hang your bow on your body. ‘Just stay close.’ You told them and ran towards the inside of the ship.

You were quietly moving on the big pipe on the ceiling when some people started walking your way, Spider was surrounded by them in a circle. All three of you jumped down at the people and freed your friend, but then a pure moment of joy was interrupted by gunshots firing your way.

‘Go! Go!’ You screamed and pushed the boys towards a wall that would hide all of you.

Neteyam snatched the gun from Lo’ak and started shooting at the enemies, you pulled out the gun Jake had gifted you and helped him.

‘I’ll tell you when to jump and you jump!’ You shouted and looked over at them, they were rapidly nodding their heads. You gave a few more shots towards the enemies and took a deep breath. ‘Now!’

Lo’ak and Spider jumped quickly into the water, you pushed Neteyam first and jumped as the last person. For a second you felt relief when you heard their happy screams, but it was washed away when you started struggling with keeping your head above the water. Adrenaline started coming down and you felt your lower abdomen on fire.

‘Yes! We did it bro!’ Lo’ak hugged his brother who was laughing softly.

‘Come on! We need to go!’ Neteyam yelled when Tsireya came up from the water riding her ilu.

‘Nete…Neteyam…’ You coughed.

His smile faded and he rapidly swam towards you.

‘I’m shot you skxawng.’

‘Shit! Shit!’ He cursed. ‘Just hold on a second!’ He held you tightly and sat you down on the ilu. ‘It’s okay, just hold on.’ His panicked voice echoed through your ears.

He saw his father standing on a rock and everyone started screaming for him. A worried expression came up on his face when he saw his son holding you tightly.

‘She’s shot, dad, help her!’ They started pulling you up to rest you on the wet rock.

Jake inspected your body only to see a big wound on your lower stomach which was quickly bleeding out.

‘Take her to the village, right now.’ He told Neteyam and helped put you on the animal again.

Neteyam held you in his arms as he tried to ride the animal as quickly as he could without causing more damage to you.

‘Hold on, okay? Don’t you dare die on me!’ He yelled to you.

‘But I am so sleepy, Nete..’ Your voice was weak, but he still heard you.

‘No, don’t sleep, we’re right there, just…Just hold on..’ He finally saw the village and hope filled him up. ‘We’re here, it’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.’ He looked down at you to check if your eyes were still open and he saw you slowly blinking. ‘HELP! I NEED HELP!’ He screamed as loud as he could which caught the attention of some people by the coast, they quickly ran to get the Tsahik who was helping other wounded warriors.

‘Neteyam..’ You coughed.

‘We’re here, hold on for me.’ He looked down at you again.

‘I see…’ Your voice was getting weaker. ‘I see you, Neteyam.’ You whispered and closed your eyes.

‘No. No, no, no. Help! I need the Tsahik!’ He got off the ilu holding your limp body in his arms.

Ronal emerged from behind the people and told him to put you in one of the shacks. The Tsahik pushed him outside and covered the entrance with a curtain made out of big leaves and seaweed. Neteyam finally felt the tears on his face which previously were washed away by the splashing water. He didn’t know what to do, fear, sadness and adrenaline were running through his body. He waited for what felt like hours and when he felt Tuk’s arms around him all of a sudden he felt safe. His whole family was okay and when he came eye to eye with his father, he broke down crying again. Jake hugged his son and caressed his hair with his hand. A sudden rustle made Neteyam break the comforting hug. Everyone turned towards the sound, Ronal was standing in front of the shack, her expression was unreadable. She locked eyes with Neteyam.

‘She’s alive. Barely.’ She stated.

‘Thank you, Great Mother.’ Kiri whispered and hugged her brother from the side.

‘She needs a lot of rest and I am not certain if she will survive the night.’ Ronal said and started walking away. ‘Do not bother her. Now it is all up to Eywa.’

° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 °

Your nostrils were filled with a disgusting smell which made you slowly open your eyes. You saw Ronal putting some type of paste on your wound and you hissed.

‘I guess this means I’m not dead.’ You whispered, your voice hoarse.

‘No, but it was close.’ She replied and wrapped some bandages around your stomach. ‘Rest, my child.’ She whispered and walked out, leaving you alone once again.

After a while the silence was interrupted by Jake, ‘Hi.’ He said as he sat down next to you.

‘I told you I’d keep them safe.’ You weakly smiled at him and he let out a soft laugh.

‘Yeah, I knew you would.’ His smile quickly faded. ‘I.. I wanted to thank you. For protecting them. And I’m sorry for using you so much, on all of those fights… I forget that you are still young, god… You’re only a year older than Neteyam and I’ve never thought something like this would happen to you…’ He paused. ‘You have a whole life in front of you, I’m sorry for trying to take that away and not protecting you.’

‘It’s okay.’ You whispered. ‘I know you only wanted to keep your family safe.’

He nodded and stood up, a tear fell down his cheek. He looked like he wanted to say something more, but nothing came out, he gave you one last smile and walked outside. After a while you closed your eyes because the light started bothering you, but you immediately opened them when you felt someone put their hand in yours. You looked at the way your fingers were intertwined with Neteyam’s and gave him a soft smile.

‘I’m so sorry.’ He whispered.

‘You have nothing to be sorry about.’ You coughed out.

‘I have. I am sorry for getting angry at you, for getting jealous about my father and for..’

‘Hey, it’s okay.’ You whispered and stroked his hand with your thumb. ‘And I’m sorry too, I shouldn’t be taking your place by your dad’s side.’

He nodded and squeezed your hand, ‘It’s okay, I know you just wanted someone to be proud of you. Kiri told me how… How you feel like an outsider all the time, because you don’t have…’

‘Parents?’

‘Yeah.’ He looked down at the floor.

‘After all these years I got used to having no one, but when your dad and other warriors from the clan were so proud of me… I just felt this hapiness that I finally belong somewhere, that’s why I always wanted to be the best…I’m sorry again, Neteyam.’

‘I forgive you.’ He smiled. ‘I can’t believe you were ready to die for me.’ He softly laughed and you reciprocated the smile.

‘I can.’ You whispered. ‘And I forgive you too, for being so mean to me.’ Your smile grew wider. ‘But you were cute when you were angry.’

‘Is that so?’ You gave him a long nod. ‘And now I’m not?’

‘No.’

‘Liar.’

Your giggles filled up the space around you and you didn’t even notice when he got so close to your face. You felt his breath on your skin and he put his other hand on your cheek.

‘I always thought you hated me.’ You whispered into his lips.

‘Do you still think that?’

‘No.’ It left your lips more like a breath rather than a word.

He finally closed the gap between you and it all just felt right. His lips on yours felt so right. You finally felt like you were not alone.

‘I see you, (Y/n).’

likes and reblogs are appreciated<3

taglist: @neteyamsgirl @vviolaswrld

#neteyam x you #neteyam x reader #neteyam #avatar the movie #avatar the way of water #jake sully x reader

[redr0sewrites]

HI HELLO HII!! :3

i woke up today with no thoughts but edging blade and making him ride me.

I AM THE NUMBER 1 BOTTOM BLADIE ADVOCATE. i see every character as a switch but theres way too many top blade fics and i think he needs to be absolutely destroyed like if you put me in a room with him one of us is coming out pregnant and its not going to be me.

- liz (THIS GOT VERY WORDY FOR NO REASON SORRY HEJDKSKSJS)

AAAA UR SO REAL FOR THIS LIZ <33 sorry this took so long to reply to, i started this but stupid tumblr ate my progress so i had to restart 😒 ANYWAYS, I HOPE U ENJOY !!

🥀Cw: smut, AMAB!reader, sub!blade, overstimulation, marking, creampie, edging, breeding kink, overall filth

🥀minors dni

"p-please!" Blade moaned out, thighs quaking as you rocked your hips back up against him. He was straddling you, his neglected cock twitching as you forced him deeper onto your cock. "nghh puh-please, i wanna- i need to come..." blades stoicism had dissipated entirely, leaving you with the whiny mess currently grinding in your lap.

you had denied him of his orgasm 3 times already throughout the night, and he was becoming desperate. his poor cock was leaking precum, and his cheeks were flushed a hot pink as tears formed on his lash line. he was just so pathetic, he needed you so bad! who were you to deny him?

"aww, bladie~ why should I? tell me why I should let you come. are you being a good boy for me?" you smirked, thrusting upwards into his tight hole hard enough to make him sob.

"i- im being good! im your good boy! please- please- ngh- i need you so-oo bad" blade moaned, nails digging into your shoulders as your hand traveled up his chest to his nipples. you leaned forward, taking one into your mouth and kneading the other with your hand. suddenly, you twisted the hardened nub between your fingers while simultaneously thrusting up against his prostate and he squealed in pleasure. fat, glossy tears streamed down blade's cheeks as you began to pick up the pace, leaning back and thrusting up into him so hard he nearly toppled onto you. needy whines escaped his lips as you mercilessly railed him, forcing him to ride you. blade's hips grinded in tandem with yours, and you could tell he was nearing his orgasm.

"you close baby? t-tell me how bad you want it~" you choked out, a moan threatening to slip past your lips as he squeezed your cock so tightly.

"i- auhhg- p-please, please i need it, i need you, i needa' come o-oh-" blade was cut off with a scream as he arched his back, hips stuttering as his sought after high washed over him. Your eyebrows knitted together, you could feel your own release building in your orgasm.

"You want my cum, baby? want me to come inside, fill you up real nice? im gonna breed this precious hole, fuck you full of my seed~" Blade's mind went blissfully blank at your words, and you wrapped your hand around his neglected cock, stroking him roughly as he shook in overstimulation. He could already feel yet another coil of pleasure building in his abdomen as your thrusts became more sporadic.

"Ye-yes, o-oh yes, please master, i need you, nghh need your cum, want you to fill me up so bad, want it so bad-" your hips jerked up in a few final thrusts as bliss filled every nerve in your body. Blade let out a needy sob as you came inside him, his hole tightening so perfectly around you as a second orgasm shook through him unexpectedly. His cock coated the both of you in his release, and a ring of cum surrounded the base of your own dick still inside of him. With a soft whine, Blade collapsed on top of you and you chuckled softly.

"You tired baby?"

"mhm. Wanna sleep." with no reason to argue, you wrapped your arms around your lover as he nuzzled into your neck, and you gently pulled out of him. blade whimpered softly and you chuckled, gently running your hands through his hair as you both began to drift off.

bro i havent written smut in a hot minute so sorry if this sucks lmao- I LOVE BIG SUBBY MEN THAT NEED YOU SO BAD THEY JUST CANT GET OFF WITHOUT U!!! ANYWAYS FEEL FREE TO SEND IN MORE REQS I LOVE UUUUU HOPE U ENJOYED!

#honkai star rail #hsr x you #hsr x gn reader #hsr x y/n #hsr x male reader #hsr x reader #hsr x gender neutral reader #hsr smut #honkai star rail smut #honkai star rail blade #honkai star rail x reader #blade x reader smut #blade x male reader #blade x y/n #blade x reader #sub honkai star rail #sub blade #sub blade hsr

[calxide]

⸻ SLEEPLESS NiGHTS 💤

kazuha x gn!reader | 500+ words ; no pronouns used for the reader. i, literally, cannot sleep so i wrote this fic pls help. written in lowercase. not proofread pls just let me sleep already. words: milk, punch are mentioned. sleeping tgt. god when will i have this. just pure fluff, some brainrot, and definitely no sleep for me.

“i can't sleep.”

it's past two in the morning, yet here you are, standing in front of a dazed, closed-eyed kazuha — a plushie in your arms, blanket on your shoulders, and an oversized pajama.

kazuha tried his best to force his eyes open. but he fails, so he just sends you a smile.

“come in.” kazuha almost hit his head on the doorframe when he turned around to make way for you to get in.

you plopped yourself comfortably on his sofa. “sorry, i had a terrible sleeping schedule last week. now, i can't get it out of my system.”

you've been pulling all-nighters last week because of the hell-stack of schoolworks you had to do, and now, you couldn't bring yourself to sleep, so you decided it's best to show up at your best friend's door at 2 am since you live in the same building anyway.

kazuha chuckled and went to the kitchen. “milk?”

“sure… i'll take anything to make me pass out.”

“a punch then?” he joked.

“why not?”

a few minutes later, he comes back with two glasses of milk in his hands. “here you go, sleepyhead.”

“you're the sleepy one here, dummy.”

“fake it til you make it, they say,” he joked and took a sip from his glass.

as soon as you both finished drinking, kazuha offered to bring it in the sink. after a while, he came back with a blanket enough to fit you two in—enough to cover the sofa you were sitting on.

you raised an eyebrow as if asking what's his plan for the night. kazuha simply shrugged, sat beside you again and covered you.

the blanket was fluffy. it was warm to be under the blanket, and even warmer with kazuha by your side.

you noticed him drifting off. kazuha has been a victim of your sleepless nights for quite awhile now, but he doesn't seem to mind. sometimes he'd ask you to tell him stories so your problems would come off your chest, sometimes he'd be the one to tell tales for you to fall asleep.

but tonight, kazuha's clearly tired, he's completely dozing off. his head was hanging and you're worried he might actually fall off the sofa.

“you can sleep on my shoulder, you know,” you whispered your offer. “or like, just lay your head on the sofa.”

without thinking much, kazuha immediately made himself comfortable using your shoulder as his pillow. you wondered if he had forgotten you were the one who he was supposed to help fall asleep.

although, you don't really mind. sometimes, it's not bad to lend a shoulder to a friend, literally.

you and kazuha just stayed like that for who knows how long — it was quiet, the comforting kind, with the only source of noise coming from the air-conditioner.

you examined his peaceful sleeping face. kazuha looked beautiful as he always does.

you smiled as you felt your heart flutter. ah, silly thoughts.

“good night, kazu,” you mumbled.

you planted a kiss on kazuha's hair, then laid your head on top of his. yawning, you finally felt the melatonin kicking in. and so, you drifted off to dreamland.

kazuha shifted his position a bit and smiled as if he was dreaming. “sweet dreams, y/n.”

NOTE hello hahahahaha 5 months in in 2024 and im back just because my eyebags are insanely bad and i havent had an 8-hour sleep since god knows when (exaggerated but u get my point) plzzz wait for me school is almost done. thanks hope i can fall asleep now... p.s. i havent written anything for so long now so i apologize...

#kazuha x y/n #kaedehara kazuha x reader #kazuha x you #kazuha x reader #kazuha x gender neutral reader #kaedehara kazuha x you #kaedehara kazuha #genshin x reader #genshin imagines #genshin x y/n #genshin impact x reader #genshin x gender neutral reader #✍ー rein writes

[rosiehrs]

YOU DON'T KNOW MY NAME # 12. date night (half written)

word count ; 2.7k

a/n ; i literally havent studied so i will js give u guys this bcs its so awk and made me want to KMS. IRENE DO BETTER.

the volleyball player rushed into the restaurant, stating aeri’s name and being led inside. the kind man gestured towards a table - where a woman was sitting. you kindly thanked him and walked towards the table. the woman had her head down, eyes on her phone as she typed away. as you came closer, her features became clearer to you–immediately finding her familiar. two steps closer you finally realised who she was. 

“oh my god.” the cause of your delusions for months, the supposed ‘love of your life’, irene was right in front of you.

quickly pulling your phone out to share how you were likely going to kill your older friend later, you put it away just as quickly as you turned it off. right then, the woman in front of you took her eyes off of her phone and looked up at you, a stoic expression on her face. 

you never wanted to hide more than in this moment. the feeling of pure embarrassment and terror had taken over your body and you felt your limbs start to shake. she raised her eyebrows at you, almost as if she was saying, ‘what are you waiting for?’

“i’m sorry, i–uh, think i’m at the wrong table..” you spoke, beginning to walk away until she spoke up. “no, y/n, you’ve got it right. please sit down.” 

you felt your knees start to give up on you as you heard your name roll off of her tongue. if you were being honest, you could count how many times you’ve heard irene’s voice on one hand. she never posted videos of herself talking online, but her friends would post some content from occasional hangouts where they posted videos where you could hear her speak in the background. you turned around, hesitantly sitting down across her. 

she turned her phone off and placed it on the table, facing down. you quickly followed suit, gulping due to the nerves you felt.

you sat down in silence, not having the nerve to move or say anything. irene simply stared at you, waiting for your extroverted ways to shine through–but you didn’t say anything. 

irene’s irritation was increasing and her patience was running out. you were half an hour late for a date she didn’t even want to go on. and to add onto that–you weren’t even making an effort to speak to her.

“..are you okay?” irene asked after a few more minutes of silence.

“uh.. yeah. i am so fucking sorry, i promise i tried to get here on time, but my coach went on and on after we won and it wasn't even a close run but he was still on ours asses but i swear i got here as soon as i could. and i'm so fucking sorry for making you wait this long. i know you wanted to leave, i would too. and i'm so sorry.”

hearing your apology, irene dropped her stern face. the negative feelings she already had towards you had begun to disperse and was replaced with sympathy. in the back of her head, of course she was still frustrated–however she felt it was only right for her to comfort you instead of making you feel worse when you’re clearly already beating yourself up for it.

softly, she replies, “it’s fine. things happen, congrats on your win by the way.”

letting out a small laugh, you sent her a sheepish smile. “thank you so much, but i really hope you know how sorry i feel.”

“i do, don’t worry.”

“'yeah.. i'm y/n by the way. but you already know that.. how do you already know that?”

“ah.. my friend slipped it out by accident.” she lies. 

“i see.. i didn't quite catch your name though, i'm sorry.”

you missed the way a small smirk formed on the older girl’s face, clearly amused by your question - however she appreciated how you pretended not to know who she was.

reaching her hand out to shake your hand, “i'm irene, nice to meet you.”

the waiter then passed by, asking if you were ready to order. irene nodded, gesturing for you to order first. you read the first thing you laid your eyes on, not wanting to make her wait. she showed you a small smile, “take your time.” you nodded at her and finalised your order, straightening your back. she then read out her order, the man asking about your drinks right after. 

“i’ll just have some tonic water, please.” you replied, staring down at the menu. “and you, ma’am?” he asked. “just a glass of white, please. i’m not picky.” he nodded at the both of you and dashed towards the kitchen.

“you don’t drink?” irene asked, causing you to look up at her. “oh, i do–i just don’t want any liquid courage in case i end up doing or saying anything stupid.” you explained, making her smile softly. “i see..”

awkwardness lingered in the air, and she noticed how tense you were. the way you fiddled with your fingers, the way you couldn’t meet her eyes. “are you okay?”

“..yeah.”

your food came and you had to suffer through painful small talk. you tried to make flirty and funny comments every now and then, but she never seemed too amused–the expression on her face never changing.

you excused yourself halfway through your dinner, rushing to the washroom. you shut the door and stared at yourself in the mirror. “what the fuck.” you whispered to yourself. 

you did not know how to talk to her. the hundreds of people you speak to on a daily basis did not and could not have prepared you for this very moment. you just melted under her gaze, and you could feel that she did not like you very much. she smiled and laughed with you quite a bit in the beginning and you were now realising that she was just being polite. but as she spent more time with you, the politeness had run out and she did not show you any signs of interest. repetitive nods and hums, replying with short and quick sentences. 

you took your phone out, needing to express your situation to your friends.

you took one last look in the mirror and took a deep breath. “you can do this, and you can forget that this ever happened! just for your sanity!” you spoke to yourself, fixing how you looked and stepping back outside.

you saw irene typing away on her phone and you immediately felt the nerves come back. she was definitely texting her friends about how badly this was going. you hadn’t even finished your meal yet, but you seriously wanted to go home and cry. she saw you returning, quickly turning her phone off and placing it on the table. “you alright?” she asked, eyes searching yours.

“yes, yes! don’t worry.” you replied as you sat down. you took a sip of your drink and saw that she was staring at you. you met her eyes and felt your heart start to race. you quickly broke eye contact and continued to eat your food.

after a few seconds of silence, you remembered what aeri said about irene being older than you. “oh, if it’s not rude of me.. may i ask you something?”

“sure, y/n.” 

“how.. old are you? i’m turning 21 soon.”

“oh..” irene knew this question would come up at least once tonight. and it wasn’t that she was insecure about her age–she was just worried about how you’d react. because although your ‘date’ had only started and she insisted that she did not like you, something in her did not want to drive you away. but of course, she wouldn’t admit that. 

you immediately stepped in before she could answer. “you don’t have to tell me if you’re not comfortable, of course! it’s just that my friend said that you’d be older than me by quite a bit and i really don’t believe her.”

she blushed at your sleek compliment, nodding. “no, it’s alright. i am older than you by quite a bit actually..”

you looked at her expectantly, truly expecting her to say a number between 23 and 27.

“i’m 32.”

your eyes had widened so much that irene thought your eyes were going to pop out. “really?” you asked, making her nod shyly. “i’m sorry, i don’t want to seem rude. it’s just that you look so young. but obviously i’m not saying you’re old, i’m just saying that you look like you’d be in the year above me.”

irene laughed at your rambling, showing you that she understood what you were trying to say. “thank you, y/n. hopefully this doesn’t change how you see me.”

“not at all!” you assured, waving your hands. ‘i like older women anyway.’ you wanted to say, but you knew she wouldn’t catch the tone in your voice that indicated that you were joking. and maybe then she’d really think you were calling her old.

you hoped that with time, the air would grow less awkward and maybe, just maybe–she’d show a little bit of interest. but much to your dismay, irene’s brief hums and fake laughs continued to shoot at you.

you needed to go home, you needed to call gaeul and cry to her about how embarrassing this whole thing was even though you knew the girl would only make fun of you. once you finished your meals, you were left with your drinks–irene was on her second glass of wine, and you had ordered another club soda.

“...”

irene looked up at you and felt the slightest bit bad. she was making this whole thing awkward because she wasn’t interested in you and she clearly saw how down you seemed. “so y/n, what do you like doing in your free time?”

“oh, uh.. i like painting. i’m not very good at it, but i think it’s pretty fun. i guess you could call my work abstract painting.” you joked awkwardly, receiving a small laugh. “i see..”

“what about you? what do you.. what do you do?”

“y/n, i know you know who i am.”

you tensed up hearing her words, worrying about whether or not she knew about your dms and your replies to her tweets. “ah.. yeah, i guess i’m a fan of yours. i wanted to make it seem like a normal first date instead of a fan meeting, i apologise.”

“no, don’t apologise. i appreciate it, really.”

“...but what do you really do in your free time? you know, when you’re not working.”

“ah,” she paused, staring down at her plate. should she open up to you? it’s a brief thing, you’re only asking about her hobbies yet she felt extremely conflicted as to whether or not telling you was a good idea.

“i.. i like going on walks.”

that’s a lie. joohyun hates going on walks.

“oh, i see. that’s pretty relaxing.”

she hummed, swirling her wine. that was it, when she finished her drink–you were going to go home.

“you want anything more?” irene asked. placing her empty glass down. you shook your head politely causing her to sign for the bill. as the waiter came with the check, you immediately took your card out, waiting to hand it over.

irene stared at you as if you had done something stupid. “what are you doing?”

“what do you mean?”

she looked down at your hand and gestured to it. “that, what do you think you’re doing?” you squinted your eyes at her, clearly confused as to what she was talking about. she then took her card out of her wallet, immediately placing it on top of the bill holder. 

“woah, hey. don’t be absurd, i made you wait–it’s only right that i pay.”

“that doesn’t matter, i should pay.”

“no, you shouldn’t? don’t be silly.” you placed her card in front of her and placed yours down. “hey, i’m paying, y/n.” you scowled at her in a playful manner, shaking your head. “unnie, please. just let me. think of it as my way of apologising.”

“no, and as you just said–i’m older than you. so you should listen to me and let me pay.”

“using your age against me will not make me let you pay.”

“uh.. would you like me to come back?” the waiter asked, feeling incredibly awkward. irene shook her head, shoving her card into his hands. “no, please. put it on this card.”

you handed him yours too, insisting to use yours instead. “i’ll.. i’ll just–i’ll be right back.” he said, the bill and your cards in his hands.

“unnie, you’re incredibly stubborn.”

“not more than you.”

then awkward filled the air once again. the waiter came back, handing you your cards back with a receipt. “have a good night, ladies.” and took his leave. 

“whose did he take it off of?” you asked as she looked down at it. she smiled in victory, putting her things away. “are you serious?” you asked, feeling extremely guilty.

“y/n, please. don’t worry about it. it’s a date, that was my treat.” she assured, looking up at you with a smile. you hesitantly nodded your head at her and placed your things in your purse. “thank you, unnie.” 

she paused, looking back up at you. “you’re welcome, y/n.”

the both of you started making your way out of the restaurant, taking a small stroll down the street. once again, neither of you said anything. you wished you could say it was a comfortable silence, but in the moment you wished someone had pushed you into the road.

“i, uh–it’s getting late. we should probably start getting home.” you suggested, slowing down. she hummed, stopping when you did. “how’d you get here?” she asked.

“i took an uber here.”  you replied.

“should i drive you home?” she asked, causing your eyes to widen. “oh, nonono. it’s alright, don’t worry. i don’t want to trouble you.”

“seriously, it’s fine. i’d rather get you home safely.” she insisted with a neutral face. you really just wanted to get into an uber and cry, not have the person you’ve been admiring drive you home (as much as you really did want her to).

“unnie, it’s fine, seriously. i’ll just call one now.” you replied. “thank you though.”

“alright.” she said. you expected her to say goodnight and walk off, but instead she stayed. “i’ll wait for your ride to get here.” 

“oh, unnie, it’s fine. i don’t want to take any more of your time.” you replied, embarrassment clear in your voice. “it’s alright, y/n.” she simply said, sitting down on the nearest bench. you hesitantly followed suit and sat down next to her. you pulled your phone up, eager to get a ride home.

the both of you sat there in silence, waiting. 

unexpectedly enough, she was the one to break it. “i’m sorry for being awkward tonight, y/n. i’m not really good with people.” an apology? you didn’t expect her to apologise. she shouldn’t have to apologise.

“don’t worry about it, unnie. i’m sorry for being awkward, too. i’m usually less.. tense.” she mumbled, saying something along the lines of it was okay.

your ride came shortly after, the both of you standing up as it stopped in front of you. “i, uh– thank you for tonight, irene unnie.”

“thank you, too, y/n. i had a nice time.”

‘she’s lying through her teeth’, you thought.

“me too,” you replied politely. “uh, well. goodnight, get home safely.”

“you, too. goodnight.”

you then got into the car, making sure it was yours. you kept your head down as your uber drove away, and when you were finally out of sight–you burst out crying. you’d never felt so defeated and embarrassed in your life, not even when you lost against hanyang during one of your most anticipated games of the year. 

when you got home, you rushed to your room and just cried more. the feeling in your chest hadn’t left and wasn’t dissipating in the slightest. your friends blew up your phone, but you continued to dwell on the events that occurred earlier tonight.

another ding echoed around your room, causing you to quickly glance at it. expecting aeri or gaeul, you were extremely shocked to see who had sent you a text.

previous | masterlist | next

SUMMARY ⤻ irene was a private influencer and y/n was an avid follower. you were extremely open about your admiration for the older girl. like every other fangirl, you want her to notice you – but she doesn't know your name. (and you don't know hers)

tag list (closed) ; @winieter @silantryoo @luvjanexx @perfectsunlight @pandamiswifey @jeindall777 @jimanie @sapphicmemos @slowlydifferentbluebird @jjuncidio @awkwardtoafault @gfriendsapple @cwpiqwon @nasyu-kookies @justme-idle @mightymyo @writingficsblog @archerheejin @yoontoonwhs @jenscx @captivq @ddeulgiheree @urfriendlylocalidiot @juhyunsthirdwife @eccobe @uzumakioden @dni-unavailable @jisooftme @pandafuriosa60 @ehcyps @wiinvrs @eunhhh @lyninabin @sewiouslyz @ryujinbrat @edamboon @ky-yk @orchestralbeats @ludasgf @blooming--warrior @blue4hour @djoenjoyer1

#irene x reader #bae joohyun x reader #joohyun x reader #red velvet x reader #kpop x reader #ydkmn!smau

[literaphobe]

Also what you said in your tags about older fanfics — so true that sometimes it’s hard to figure out if something's “popular” (defining as high kudos/comments count) because it is from Ye Olden Fandom days and/or continuously got new chapters (and thus, comments) over time or if it's really. a fandom classic. Either way the MLB fandom has a bunch of amazing and talented writers and we're lucky to have so much (diverse in genre and style) material in both canon and especially fandom! And I hope you can publish your WIP(s?) soon, I loved the snippets you posted!!!

(And btw this is absolutely not meant to shit on popular fics!!! To me personally it’s sometimes hard to enjoy a story that’s set in canonverse but at this point in time diverges so much from canon, because canon has, logically, expanded since 2016; but like I said one of the upsides of a large fandom is that there's something for everyone)

(and can someone PLEASE explain the Bat Family Crossovers there's just so MANY)

Anyways sorry for spamming your inbox but!! Happy 8th anniversary to all fellow “new” fans I hope we only get more passionate and annoying over time <3 (2/2)

omg no i totally get what you mean!! and even if something that’s popular is good not everything is for everyone!!!! you can dislike things that other people like and its all perfectly fine as long as we are all somewhat kind to each other ^_^

i also agree that its awesome having such a talented fandom!! big too for the most part so HEHE!! ive read some life changing things and also know theres so much out there that i havent read that id LOVE if i read!!!!

i also hope i can publish my WIP soon i have been working on it since um. late december last year/january this year KFKSKDKDJ ITS UM. its been a while. But i promise i am speeding it up and will be somewhat hopefully done soon!!!!! its gonna be like 12 chapters, i just started ch9, and um currently i have over 90k words written??? GET READY TO BE STUFFED LMAOOO im shoving these words down ur throats and i hope u guys like it…. First fic for a fandom is always so unnerving u never know how something’s gonna be perceived BUT IM GLAD U R INTERESTED ANON MWAH MWAH

bat family thing um. well. marinette is based on spiderman. so um. uh. superheroes…? (i have Not read any of them)

HAPPY 8TH ANNIVERSARY TO US NEW FANS FR WHO HAVE NOT SUFFERED IN THE SAME WAY AS MOST FANS. also anon u r not spamming me i LIVE to answer asks

#ask #i used to answer dozens of asks everyday #it got so bad that i refused to make regular text posts #id be like guys send me emojis so i can talk #LIKE GIRL? THE TEXT POST BUTTON IS RIGHT THERE? #i felt like i wasnt allowed to make a post unless it was a Post yknow #w Tags #and Purpose #well. i am neurodivergent after all #mlbposting

[spamgyu]

Hi love,

Alright, I'll start off with this, the wonwoo fluff, girl, I hope you know that good fluff IS about the most mundane things and yeah, you got me all giggly while reading this one, so I'd say you're fucking good at writing fluff( as if your pretty boy series isn't enough proof of that).

Next, the Alex Kwon update, it's absolutely hilarious, but the way I can totally see this happening, like, alex having to pay them to stay away from Alex!yn and telling her they're all red flags. Also, Andrew, Sam and Chris not being on his close friends, loll, girl I was laughing reading them complain. The cutest thing though, the Alex or alex✨️ was so adorable and I loved the update, it felt like early compensation for the pain you're about to put us through with the hoshi idol angst.

Now, minghao with lv, god I've been wanting to see this happen for so long but oh god, ge looked so gooooood. Seeing him Jackson makes me so happy, I love seeing the members interact with their friends. You see, I have quite a weird connection, I started off as a bts and blackpink fan, got to know Jackson through namjoon and then svt through jungkook, so watching all these groups interact is like my source of happiness. When I tell you, I was over the moon seeing lisa and mingyu interact, they're absolutely hilarious, the way gyu looked so done with her while she seemed to have the time of her life annoying him. Sorry, I got distracted, the whole point is Hao looked absolutely fucking amazing in that denim on denim look.

Okay, I see people talking about how they can't afford to stan more then one group, and I totally get that, like I have serious brainrot because of stanning more than one group(can't say I regret it though). To give you an idea of how deep my brainrot runs, I stan 5 groups, 4 boy bands and 1 girl group. When I tell you that I'm rotting, I mean I genuinely am, because just one grp is enough to drive someone crazy and yet, I choose to do so with 5 groups. The fact that I started off as a cubic doesn't help my case either, because I was instantly drawn to these 13 men being unhinged. It's been years and I still haven't gotten used to this, and to be quite honest, idk if I ever will.

As for disconnected calls part 2, umm, I would actually love you even more if it was angst(just a personal opinion) but like, I can't guarantee I'll be alive to tell you how much I love it, because, well, cheol angst is one of my weaknesses, I can't say I've fully recovered from the pain from the 1st part and the apartment we don't share.

Anyway, how have you been?

hi omg – wow im so late replying buuuut

thank u i KDNWKD i think i think too much about fluff bc ??? idk ?? i hate cheesy things and i feel like people wont like what i think is cute so then i never actually go through with it but AHHH THANK U

alex kwon just dont want the boys annoying him in the gc bc lbr the guys wont ever comment or swipe up on Alex!yn bc like theyre dumb but theyre not pigs... anyways its alex's way of not wanting to show his lover boy side to the boys

i loooveeddd the denim look sm and i loooove when we get svt interactions with other idols (imo it humanizes them) anywaysss

KFNENF yeah i stan multiple groups and im mostly casual stan for all but svt (but tbh some carats may think im casual for svt bc i dont really go crazy with purchasing merch) anyways now that it's concert season my pockets are HURTING

LASTLY disconnected calls pt2 will be angst and maybe equally as painful as the apartment we wont share....... i havent fully written out ehe BUT NOTED

also i am.......... okay ish.... work is.... work and i am ....... surviving lmfaoooo

#spamasks

[philzokman]

also guess who’s travelling and needs fic recs again 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

omgomgogm IM SO GLAD U ASKED :D i haven’t been reading much fanfic due to exams and illness and also bc i got Reallt into classical literature for a while shit is so hype but i have a few :D

purple - skk

pink - sskk

red - death note

1. the irreplaceable things by blowingyourmind

‘Dazai was introduced to two very important figures in his life that night, One being the dog he nearly ran over, and the other being the fiery redheaded veterinarian who coddled said dog’

THIS SHIT IS INSANE !!! INSANE I TELL U!!!!! au where dazai (pm boss) falls in love desperate hatred!!! for vet chuuya and it’s so ☹️☹️ like the main romance is adorable the side plots are fucking insane (there’s a dog ring ???????) (atsushi does stand up comedy for about three paragraphs KFHAKDHD) it’s genuinely a fucking ride. the authors also really good like even when there are the occasional mistakes it’s Very clear what they mean and i definitely wouldn’t say it removes anything from the story at all HIGHLY recommend KFHSJSHD

2. He’s got a dream by blowingyourmind

‘soukoku tangled au’

i…havent read this yet (a very common theme on this list KDHSH) BUT !!! it’s i think going to be the next fic i read :D it’s a tangled au. A TANGLED AU. SOBS. BREAKS DOWN. THEOWS MYSELF OFF A CLIFF !!!!!!! and it’s written by the same author as rec one who i already love sososo much it looks very cool KFHAKDHD

3. yokohama public high school - almost as crazy as their pep rallies by blowingyourmind (SIDE NOTE: i did not realise all of these were by the same person LFMAODJSH WHOOPSIES (ive been very out of the fanfic loop recently </3))

‘The story of how Chemistry teacher Dazai Osamu fell helplessly for coach Nakahara Chuuya, and the student body's many attempts to get them together.’

again i. haven’t actually read this BUT ITS A TEACHER X TEACHER AU. SOBS ONCE MORE. BREAKS DOWN ONCE MORE. THROWS MUSELF OFF A CLIFF ONCE MORE !!!!!!!!! i fucking love teacher x teacher aus they’re so hype oml KFHSJSH same author as the other two which i. didn’t realise. BUT. i mean it’s a good author what can i say LMFAOHDHSSH anywho it looks sick

4. would kira have gay sex? by itiaskia

no description needed KDHAKSH fun fact! this fic was the catalyst for me pursuing an english lit degree. take that in for a moment LFNAKDHDHSH it’s like 200 words long and idk i think most ppl have read it by now but it makes me giggle FJSHJDDH

5. collide by onizenmaru

‘All it takes is one chance meeting and Atsushi's life slowly becomes tangled up in Akutagawa Ryuunosuke's.

‘This has to be some kind of cosmic joke.’

i haven’t read this fic either😔 but it seems good !!!! it’s also on my reading list but it seems really really sick :D i’m pretty sure i’ve read some of the authors other works too but i might be wrong KDHSJSDH within the like two paragraphs of scanning i did i also saw an ‘oh. oh’ moment but idk what it was about LFMAODJSHDH but the writing seems really good from what i’ve seen :D

anywho!! hope u enjoy so sorry the list is predominantly fics i haven’t read + one crack fic that’s like 2 words long LMFAODJDH this is more of a ‘what am i reading now + what am i going to read!’ list rather than recs but i hope u enjoy them anyways :D if u read any please keep me updated omg i love talking about fics AND TALKING TO U :D KFJAKDHDH i’m going to sleep now (i’m not) BUT ENJOY :D

[kikuneesama]

Ich habe 4.359 Mal im Jahr 2022 etwas gepostet

Das sind 761 more posts als 2021!

39 Einträge erstellt (1%)

4.320 Einträge gerebloggt (99%)

Blogs, die ich am häufigsten gerebloggt habe:

@dingdongyouarewrong

@belladonnaboudreaux

@calamitaswrath

@marierclaire

@enevera

Ich habe 838 meiner Einträge im Jahr 2022 getaggt

#nart reblog spree – 9 Einträge

#yea – 8 Einträge

#jjk – 6 Einträge

#spy x family – 5 Einträge

#my god – 4 Einträge

#anyway – 4 Einträge

#honestly – 3 Einträge

#its true – 3 Einträge

#sigh – 3 Einträge

#oh god yea – 3 Einträge

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#accusing him of deflecting after you asked him if he wants to hear his best friends voice again like you dont u nderstand how grief works

Meine Top-Einträge im Jahr 2022:

#5

when you write one of your favourite ships and it does so poorly, not even as in people dont click it, no, they just dont like it apparently

4 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 21. August 2022

#4

I’m offering free fanfics in exchange for a donation to ukraine on my other blog and today after i handed one off the person literally went through my story and like marked it as if they were a teacher grading an essay

not only grammar mistakes or comma but also like “wrong word” and “i dont understant what you want to say with this”.

needless to say my confidence is crushed forever so thats fun

5 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 3. April 2022

#3

Happy birthday @enevera!! Here is a little something something, I hope you might like. I'm sorry I couldn't come up with anything cooler fsdklfsdaklf. I havent written in a while and idk with my brain yet. Anyway, wish you a great day and all good things. Sending hugs &lt;3

Uh, yeah, this is I guess Satoru x Suguru x Shouko .... maybe

2064 words

unedited because im lazy.

There is this certain type of cigarette smell that transforms Shouko back in time whenever she smells it. It does not matter where exactly she is, Tokyo’s main station, the narrow ways between the high rise buildings of Ropponing, the long way up the road to the school, if she just catches a whiff of that smell it is like she timewarped back to being a teenager.

Maybe that is why she stopped smoking those brands of cigarettes completely.

Once you enter adulthood, many people in the country start looking back at their childhood summers with this nostalgia for a time that seemed almost too perfect to be real. Anime, movies, music and tv often discuss these summers, the longing an adult feels for them and how a time like this would never happen ever again.

Shouko hated this. Summers were hot, summers were sweaty and overtly sunny and full of bugs and cicada noise. As a kid she would hide in the basement, and now, as an adult, she was doing much the same. 

Her childhood summer, the one she longs for, happened when started when she was 15. It lasted for much more than four years and it smelled of chewing gum, wooden rooms and menthol cigarettes.

Being a person who can see cursed spirits didn’t make you a popular student with the other kids in schools. So for her first 8 or so years in school, Shouko tried to stay out of everybody’s way. That didn’t mean they didn’t whisper about her behind her back, thinking her interest in medicine and especially forensic sciences were odd. Still, she didn’t have it as bad as other kids like her, she was not bullied, she was mostly just left alone.

It was good to be alone. She knew how to cope alone.

It was an unusually warm April day, the cherry blossoms just falling down the trees when Shouko entered Jujutsu High for the first time. She was almost sweating in the black new uniform with the long sleeves. She was greeted by the headmaster, introduced to her teacher and told that she’d share the year with two boys. She wasn’t very interested in them.

Shouko heard Gojo Satoru before she saw him. The corridor with the student rooms was full of the noise of his laughter. When he introduced himself to her, with that sly smile of his, and told her who he was, what significance he had, how he was going to be unbeatable, Shouko guessed and guessed right instantly, that he was overplaying.

That he was lonely was obvious, even if you couldn’t see his eyes.

Geto Suguru was a different kind of boy. He was quiet, an outsider and he knew it. He was friendly, always overly courteous. He inquired about her medical books and anatomy posters and overall did some friendly small talk. Shouko guessed that he too had been mostly alone and instead of becoming louder, like Satoru, had just quieted down more. 

All three of them were similar in that regard.

At first she thought she'd never like either of them very much. 

And so classes began.

Getting to know both of them was a slow but rewarding process. Shouko had been right about Satoru, he had been isolated from other people most of his life so far and craved human connections. He would come by her room even when she was studying, hanging on her bed throwing balls at the ceiling and down until she told him to leave.

Suguru turned out to be a real nerd. Super interesting and classic and modern Anime and Manga, though he hid his addiction well. In his room he kept most of his Manga volumes under his bed and in the corner, all neatly packed and dust free, as if they were porn magazines. But if he was asked about it, he would never stop talking. Shouko sometimes spent evenings with him just sitting side by side reading in comfortable silence.

She knew the boys were doing things together without her too. That they spent time with just the two of them. One time she opened the door to Satoru’s room for this and that and they were laying shoulder to shoulder on his bed. 

At the time she had no way to explain the stinging she felt at being excluded from the intimate moment.

They were a trio. Most first years came into the school in Trio’s or groups of four, but none were as close as the three of them. It was impossible to mention Suguru without mentioning Satoru and Shouko too. Triple S, the first years called them once they graduated to year two, and they meant it in annoyance and admiration.

That second spring, Shouko brought the menthol cigarettes for the first time. She ignored the “That’s bad for your health” and “those stink” comments from Satoru whenever she put on one, and his dramatically waving hands if it was around him. Smoking was nice and a stress relief and made her feel good.

Smoking wasn’t allowed in the dorms or through the open windows as the smell could seep into the furniture and curtains, so Shouko often had to go outside to have some. Either of the boys, sometimes both of them, often accompanied her then, even if Satoru often pulled a face.

The smell of the cigarettes seeped into all of them anyway, their hair, their clothes, their minds that summer, with so many things happening. Shouko was watching the boys grow from the sidelines. Her career path was different and so they were often separated. But before and after missions they’d still all sit together, outside, on porches or in gardens and on benches, talking, laughing and the smell of Shouko’s cigarettes were always there too.

Shouko loved both of them. Each in their own way, but at best together. In those times she used to think that if she’d be able to live with them side by side forever, she would never need to marry. They would be family enough.

Suguru could endlessly talk about manga he had bought, new shonen jump issues and anime adaptations, but it was Satoru who brought in the story that finally helped her figure her mind out. It was a Shoujo manga, something Suguru would never touch if he could help it. Satoru was raving about it, the story of a protagonist who couldn’t choose between two suitors. “She loves them both,” Satoru exclaimed. “So she can’t choose! It's incredibly exciting to read.”  

“You can’t love two people,” Shouko said in reflex, but took the books anyway. To humour him.

Amongst all the relatively standard romance and reverse-harem tropes Shouko actually did find the narrative pretty interesting. The lead character did love both boys very clearly and struggled to decide who to pursue. Didn’t help that both guys had different personality traits that fit neatly into hers, but none of them was perfect.

Vollständigen Eintrag ansehen

7 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 10. Oktober 2022

#2

alright @nyctibrae i continued f m a b (finally!) from the point we both stopped watching together which means episode 10 and my review for that one is: pain

get back for more reviews tomorrow

9 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 24. September 2022

Meine #1 des Jahres 2022

*slides into ur asks* Watching FMA I hear? 👀

Yes!! It is @foebito's favourite anime soooo we did the best trade deal of all the trade deals in history so I finally get to watch it :D I got to pick 4? Anime or so to match the runtime of FMAB which we will watch together (and 2 we already did and one halfway!) and we started FMAB... last week?

10 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 21. März 2022

Hol dir deinen Tumblr-Jahresrückblick 2022 →

#tumblr2022 #Jahresrückblick #Mein Tumblr-Jahresrückblick 2022 #Dein Tumblr-Jahresrückblick #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #oh my god its all in german #anyway asdfhalsdf #that one ask is like my most liked post

[hikari-writes]

Heyyoo,,,

It's me, that bitch Hikari who disappeared without saying a word for two whole years-

Owkdnkwndjw where do i start man-

First of all, I am deeply, truly, sorry for disappearing on you guys like that, really. I owe you guys an explanation but tbh i just think im making excuses at this point. But i just wanna say that Im sorry. Im really really sorry…

I promised myself that i wont be active here again until april of next year (ill explain later as to why) but i thought id just drop in rq to notice you guys that im still here, alive and well, and fortunately not dead yet-

It's been so long since i last wrote any fanfic, and i havent written anything proper ever since 2 years ago, but i rlly miss being able to write,, it was one of my passion, and still is even tho i never wrote anything for the past years,,, id rlly like to come back and revive this dead writing blog once im finally free on april of 2023… I hope you guys will be able to welcome me back at that time with open arms (or just dropkick me for being so inactive i dont mind whichever ahhseilwnekdj)

I have an upcoming big exam next year from february to march 2023, an exam that will carve my path as an adult, which, if any of you malaysians seeing this, yes its SPM. U could say my whole career depends on this, hence why I've been so inactive on tumblr for the past years (and also some other reasons but thats one of it)

I know a lot of my moots have moved on, some still here and some have deactivated or delete their account and all i feel is,, regret. A lot of my moots are what helped me get through my darker moments during quarantine, and the fact that ill probably lose contact with them for forever is horrifying. I wish i had at least contacted them for one last time b4 i disappeared 2 years ago. I wish i was able to ask for their other socmed so that i can still contact them. It's stupid, i know, since I'm the one who disappeared on yall in the first place. I rlly, rlly, am sorry. I just hope you know that. 

I rlly miss you guys. I truly do. Its been so long. You guys are the sweetest people ive ever had the pleasure of knowing and im truly blessed by that fact. I srsly dont deserve you. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for always putting up with my antics and simpings, and always just,,, being the sweetest person ever. I truly dont deserve yall. You guys are the reason i still havent deleted or deactivated my acc. I just cant let go of you guys. Thats why i still keep this up even tho im hella inactive. So that i can still come back here, someday. 

Ive gotten into some more fandoms while i was gone, and I'll add that to my masterlist. I promise when i come back, ill write more for you guys (even tho my writing aint nothing special windijskd) 

Thank you again for all the support youve given me for the past years. I appreciate every one of you <333 I have so many things i wanna say but its all jumbled up and my mind's a mess but just know that im sorry and thank you, for just,, everything 💞💞💞 i hope when i come back, i can still be the hikari you guys remember me as 💓

This isn't a goodbye post, far from it. This is simply a see you later post. I love you guys, stay hydrated, and always rmmbr that ure an awesome person who deserves all the love in the world 💗💗💗

-Signing off for now,

Hikari

#rambles

[rrxnjun]

if i could i would fight the school system just so u would have the time and mood to write >:T but i'm glad u could write a bit and waiting for ur next fic!!!🥳🥳 (your post about a fic u are writing seems pretty fun :o and love jihoon as a side character!!!) AAA IM HAPPY TO HEAR THAT I WOULD LOVE TO READ TREASURE FICS FROM U ESPECIALLY THE JIHOON ONES HIHI!!! I AM VERY GRATEFUL FOR UR FRIEND WHO CONVINCED U!!!!

hmmmm idk if its reveal vibe or not but my fav ep from them is the thrill ride ep (probably has a special place in my heart cuz that was my first cb with them lmao but that era was so well done and i really love the songs!!) i think their new ep is really great my favs are especially awake and savior aaanndd their breaking dawn album slaps as a whole i love it so muchhh and for my last recommendation from them would be survive the night which is a song that was fully written by sunwoo and it's definitely one of my favs (there is also a song from giuk featuring sunwoo that just dropped and u might like it if u are interested) and i really hope u will like some cuz idk if any of these would be the type of songs u would listen to;-; the last longer content i watched from them was come on the boyz but eric isn't in it cuz he was on a hiatus at the time:( but it's really fun! i also started to watch back the boyz timeout (and had to stop cuz school >:T) and that is also really good and everyone is there:D so i would recommend those if u want like a series (?) type of thing with them but for "shorter" contents their mafia games are very fun to watch!!! their idol human theater videos are great as well!!! and the last one i would say is they just made a video with the fo squad and that seemed very funny although i didn't have the time to watch it yet;-; (IM VERY SORRY ABOUT JUST RECOMMENDING SO MANY THINGS AND FOR THIS LONG ASS LIST I WENT A BIT OVERBOARD D: )

KEVIN IS SUCH A LOVELY GUY his bubble messages are usually either very funny or just very meaningful and his posts are always top tier🤌 i think he would just solidify his place in ur heart lmao and eric is just such a bestie material!!! well u know i just came in here in the middle of ur treasure era being like 🧍the boyz🧍and i don't want to interrupt u with just randomly talking about them 🧍(which i deff did so im sorry and sorry again for the long ass list of recs)

ooo god gifted kid burnouts suck so much;-; but tbh yeah the grade doesn't really matter just pass and get the paper in the end cuz that's the most important ig and u would get it with even just passing (although im just🤡 cuz i will never think like this sadly so) i don't think my experience will be different ngl;-; so im trying to get myself ready to just not be sad about it cuz it's bound to happen lmao

AHH UR REPLIES JUST MAKE ME SO HAPPY LIKE U READ MY LONG ASS RAMBLINGS AND U ARE ALWAYS SO LOVELY SO I JUST🥹🥹 I APPRECIATE U VERY MUCH!!!!!! (liebestraum anon💗💕💕 sorry for disappearing again☹️)

SJSJSJ its okay because the motivation is that once its over i have the whole summer to write is making me go through this more easily 😙😌 also im handling things a lot better than last semester LMAO so im good over here 🤞 DJSJ glad u liked the posts abt the fic so far, jihoon is kind of the main character unfortunatelt (he is in the fic more than mark i-) but the brainrot cant be helped. IM GRATEFUL FOR MY FRIEND TOO she's a real one 😙 i'll let u know abt the blog if i manage to set one up after all hihi

first comebacks with a group are always the most special istg i thought about this the other day. like for me rock with you, hot sauce and can't you see me? are really special too😭 i havent had time to listen to these but i promise that by the time we talk again i will and i'll have my reviews ready!! 😌😌 also i love how u can kinda get my music taste w western artists (like when u recommended me hungarian songs and were spot on) but w kpop u rlly cant tell😭😭😭 i love me some kpop group variety shows tbh so i will definitely watch all of these later !! DONT BE SORRY ABT RECOMMENDING SO MUCH I GET U IF I WAS ASKED FOR RECS FOR ANY OF MY FAV GROUPS I WOULDVE DONE THE SAME THING. i saw kevin's weverse (?) replies on tiktok today and i- 😭 my man is a comedian i love him. the same w eric. icons. SJSJS dont worry about interrupting my treasure era i can handle it (im also suddenly into cix as well so i can handle everyone atp)

and u get it u get it !!! like it does feel good to get academic validation from time to time (i got a 45/50 on my essay today❤❤❤) but as long as its not an F i do not feel disappointed. esp when i get reminded of the fact that im studying on one of the best unis in my country and that my major is actually kind of hard 💀💀 get ready for the terrors of university i mean u can expect it but actually experiencing it will be just as shitty so i just pray u dont take it as badly as i did for a lil while🤞 im here for u if that happens tho!!

always appreciating u and smiling at your asks, mwah mwah ‼

#💌ask #liebestraum anon

[atxxzist]

If smut is well-written and justified I'm totally into it (unless... I'm not for other reasons), but especially in ETL stories, you have to be careful. Seonghwa and Y/N were already on thin ice, sex would complicate things even more, obviously you could've used it as a plot device, but ultimately I'm glad you didn't.

It makes sense, they're from different worlds for sure, but they're not Romeo & Juliet, so I think they can do it, haha. Also, the opposites certainly attract in their case, after all Hongjoong felt too safe for Y/N and their chemistry just wasn't really there, I'm glad they remained friends though!

I would like to see more of their shenanigans back in university. Is Seonghwa gonna sit next to her? Is she gonna like it? 👀

I've never read any of your stories except Blacklist and I rarely read for other members than Seonghwa - I used to read for San at first - but I'm curious to see more of your writing, which story of yours is your favourite?

Oh, sure can I be 🦔 or 🥦 if they're available - you can choose which one, I don't mind either way!

exactly. which is why i mulled over a smut scene for the longest time, even when it didn't happen in chap 8, i initially said there'll be one for the final chapter just bc i felt something needed to happen between them before i could rlly put a closing to the story once and 4 all. but it's also the eventual realization that they don't need one. and im glad i stuck with that choice; i think it was the right one since they still have so many things to work on.

and u right 😂 after all, with how seonghwa's character is, i believe he will do whatever he want anyways lmao (for the right reasons this time). and yes hongjoong. im glad u brought him up. i wanted to give a dynamic between him and y/n where they really would just b better off as friends. ofc, they got a lot of love for one another, but they also idealized/romanticized the other person in the same way u would look up to an idol, y'know? but with seonghwa, y/n already knows his flaws, his lows, and how stupid he can rlly be; which is what makes their moments all more special when she does like something about him. but with hongjoong, she would have a harder time processing that he's not this dream guy she built in her head. idk if that makes any sense 😭

as for what happens to them post-final chapter, it really is up to the readers' imagination unfortunately. i havent really thought too much about it, but somewhat, somehow, we can say they are endgame <3

as for my other works, i cannot confidently recommend any already existing completed piece bc i am embarrassed about all of them to an extent lmaooo (i am still kind of a new writer to atinyblr). but u will see that i mainly write for San bc he is my bias <3 the only other series i have besides blacklist, is one I wrote for him called push&pull but the outcome of that fic is kinda shitty and i would steer clear. BUT I do have a new series coming out, call Broken though it is for San. Just posted the masterlist for it yesterday, not too long after finishing up blacklist. that would be the only one i'd say u keep your eyes on just if u want to stick around. i've yet to write for it, which is why i hope that when i do, it will turn out okay. i am kind of a fuckboy/badboy lover lmaoooo... u will see that very quick.

and I like 🦔 hehe. it's cute. so thank you again for talking to me, miss 🦔. ur efforts r greatly appreciated. but no pressure! 💖 i also try to keep the response as short as possible, but they always end up being essay-length, im sorry 😭

#ask[💌] #anon[🦔] #🖤blacklist🖤

[partyinthemysterymachine]

;u; i'm whiter shade of pale anon and i'm like 3 days late but everything you wrote in response was so beautiful and exactly what i was thinking about when i said it gave frank vibes. you and i are on the same wavelength. thank you for ur silent hill service and i hope you have a good day!!

We Are Vibing

(also sorry i am ALSO x amount of days late to respond to this dldgflg it's been. a long week and some change lmao)

thank YOU for the question!! i'm so glad that you dug my response, i rly rly love those two and the mystery surrounding their dynamics and james's childhood and frank as a parent. i'm a SLUT for anything i get to get me talking about them!!!!

(nervous glancing at Frank Anon still in my inbox)

((more nervous glancing at Writing Anon))

uh... coming...... ................. s-soon™️ (i learned it by watching Blizzard)................. are THOSE posts i promise oh my god it's just that the library arc you guys oooooooh my my god and i have SO MUCH to say about james and frank's relationship and james's childhood. there's a bit of developing lore in GOOMT pertaining to how James grew up/how he feels about/views Frank, but........ you'd have to go reading it (or just diving into it by pulling up the whole thing and just searching 'Frank' on the page but YANNO (life hax, if ur interested))

theres also developing lore from FRANK's POV in Puttin' On The Fritz (and by 'developing lore' i mean, 'it's in my Notes app and you guys aren't getting to see any of it yet because i havent published any POTF since christmas haha i swear to god i have ch3 written and i also need to put up Heya, Neighbor! but LIBRARY ARC, AS YOU KNOW')

sucks in a breath

BUT ALSO AS WELL i have generic-type lore for the both of them because UNFORTUNATELY, a lot of big parts in my lore beliefs etc are rooted in GOOMT lore and can't be revealed. so like even tho i'll disclaimer it in the Frank post, i just feel like i gotta mention it anyhow for some reason i think i was going somewhere with this but y'all i ain't awake yet and i've been up since idk 8:30a, i rly gotta go run my errand now b4 it gets stupid hot out LOL

CHEERS THANK YOU THAT WAS JUST A LONG WINDED WAY OF SAYING THANK YOU ILYSMMMMMM 💖❤️❤️🥚🥚😭😭😭🙏🙏

#ches writes #guys you can just start calling me victor hugo because i go OFF (on off-topic tangents) #THANK U ANON BLESSSSSS #frank sunderland #james sunderland #MIGHT AS WELL I GUESS AT LEAST FOR ARCHIVAL PURPOSES im so sorry anon hope u see this

[florenceisfalling]

raise it up

hey this is a gift for @jaeyleo and it is very late!! my dearest apologies!! i may make this a series someday! every title would be from ‘rabbit heart’ lmao

WARNINGS MIGHT SPOIL IT, but warnings for: hypnosis, corrupted! and puppet!egos, semi-kidnapping, and some... well, i guess you’d call it non-consensual magical exchanges?? 

have fun ;)

☽✧    ✦    ✧☾

The theatre is a bit chilly in spite of the presence of hundreds of warm bodies around you, some dressed in suits and ties, others dressed in colorful sweaters and patterned button-ups. It’s as if wearing anything too casual or uninteresting would be considered seriously underdressing compared to the man plastered on nearly every poster around the building.

“Come See Marvin the Magnificent for his famous WORLD TOUR!” they all said, in bold, colorful letters. Beneath the script was the magician himself, arms splayed out dramatically with a charming smile, cape flowing behind him. You remember the days when he was basically unheard of, only doing local shows and YouTube videos, and you remember his climb to fame… well, climb wasn’t the right word. More like skyrocket.

Before, he would have pranced across the stage with a bouncing sort of energy, shouting sing-song remarks into the microphone and over-flourishing with his ring-covered hands. But now, as he walks out on the stage, his flashy outfit and fancy set is outshined by his confident gaze. His steps are slow and steady, his voice even and low, a smile creeping into every word. He radiates self-assurance. Marvin is no longer trying to catch and hold your attention with all his desperate might - he already knows your eyes are on him, he already knows you won't be able to look away. It seems effortless for him.

The crowd cheers and roars, and he giggles a bit before he presses a hand gently to his heart- “Thank you, thank you, everyone.” As soon as he opens his arms and sweeps them wide, the entire theatre hushes like children beneath the low drama of a library’s storyteller.

Eyes scanning over the mass of people, he nods. 

It almost looks like his gaze stops directly on your face.

☽✧    ✦    ✧☾

The show is absolutely brilliant. Stranded particles of dust collect in the air and transform into a vivid illusion of a whale swimming overhead, then scatter into twinkling shooting stars, tumbling down and vanishing right before they land among the audience. With a Cheshire grin on his face, the magician disappears and reappears from stage to seat to the rafters that hold up the lights. Necklaces turn into snakes and rings flutter away like butterflies, only to return back to metal and stone. It is magic and mystery and miracles at their finest - you know for a fact that any critic in the audience has yet been baffled and converted.

But when it seems like there is nothing left for Marvin to display, he calls out a phrase that is equal parts inviting and unnerving. 

“For this next trick, I need a volunteer!”

Immediately, without a hint of hesitation, your hand flies up, your arm waving like a white flag of surrender. You’ve never been the type to like spotlights flashing over you on a stage, you would much rather be behind the scenes, but you can’t seem to put your hand down… nor can anyone else in the room. Stretching out from your seat to the rest is a sea of skin, of nails, of rings, of gloves, all stretching and towards the stage as if you were all subjects of a Baroque painting.

Marvin descends into the audience, slowly stepping down the stage and meandering between the rows of seats. Closing his eyes, he seems almost… relaxed by the hundreds of fingers trying so desperately to touch his face or his mask or his cape. Eventually, though, the clicks of his high-heeled boots stop, and you realize he is in front of your aisle. 

A sense of deep dread washes over you when he points his finger right towards your chest, and you stand to follow him, despite the nervousness and stage fright that you get from even imagining going up there. But the chance is irresistible, isn’t it? Softly, he hooks his arm around yours, and soon the crowd’s voice mixes with disappointment and excitement.

The magician doesn’t say a word to you while you march across the carpet, but it’s not like it would matter. The theatre is far too loud, but the stage… the stage feels strangely, comfortingly quiet. 

Arm shifting, Marvin’s hand slides down to yours, gently squeezing your fingers. All the fear fades from you when his other hand reaches up to brush hair out of your face. As he looks you in the eye, calm washes over you in a melty way, like syrup dripping down your brain. You swear his eyes were bluer, once, in the old photos on social media- but now someone has poured gold flecks inside, his irises nearly all green. While his pupils are stretched similarly to a cat’s, they don’t look like costume contacts; the gold is too shimmery, too deep. A shiver trickles down your spine and he nods, squeezing your hand another time. Swirling colors start to spill into your vision, and the lights become fuzzy and smeared; the change is enough to make you dizzy or knock you over, but Marvin holds you steady. It’s only been a few seconds, but you swear fifteen minutes have passed in this blissful trip. The last words he says to you are quiet, personal, the microphone turned off - a little secret you both share beneath the murmurs of the audience - “Stay very still.”

And you do. 

He turns back to the crowd, and now the voice he speaks with sounds like it’s underwater. Everything is fuzzy, sleepy, but you hear him say something about a split, about a soul. The hundreds of people sitting in rows shout and call, chanting something that sounds faintly like your name - you don’t remember telling anyone your name - and gasping in surprise. You’re unsure of what they find so remarkable until you slowly look down, realizing that you’re a few feet above the ground, now, and your body… your body is laying on the floor, the form you are currently is far more transparent, far more flowing. You look like a ghost, and Marvin draws a little light out of you, pressing it to his eyes. More gold collects in them.

He then snaps his fingers.

And you’ve returned to the floor, head spinning. You are back in your body, and his hand takes yours to lift you to your feet. He turns you to the crowd and you numbly wave, stumbling just a little with a dazed smile plastered to your face. 

Soon, someone else approaches you on the stage, half-tripping on his way. Through the thick fog in your head and eyes, you see his neat black suit and messy, fading green curls tumbling down one side of his face. Marvin is talking again, “thank you”s mimed out of his mouth while the crowd roars and claps, amazed amidst your confusion. They don’t even seem to notice the new man - a staff member, maybe? - on stage, the one in the suit who now gently grabs your shoulder, taking care as he walks you away from the magician. They don’t notice a thing at all...

“Right this way, right this way,” the new man mumbles, nervousness in his tone. As you look closer, still so dizzy you can barely keep your head up, you think you see a bruise starting to fade from one of his tired eyes. Your gaze is so fixed on it that you don’t stop to question why he’s chosen to exit stage left with you.

A moment later, you’re walking behind the curtains, entering a small corridor with dim lights and doors marked Staff Only. You try to absentmindedly count the doors while you stumble past, but the numbers twist and tumble in your head, a rush that just leaves you even more lost than before.

Eventually, the both of you reach a door that was once marked to be a dressing room, though the sign for that has been long since torn off. There’s a heavy padlock hanging from the door to the outer wall on a chain, much more drastic than the small lock built into the doorknob. The man who you lean on lifts a shaking hand to his breast pocket, pulling out a shining key, and unlocks the door with a distinct metallic click. 

Inside, it does not look like a dressing room - at least, not entirely. While one half of it does feature hanging clothing and a vanity, as well as some jumbled props, the other side is instead filled with thrifted couches and chairs, all gathered awkwardly around a bed that looks strangely… medical?

“Uh, sit, sit, please, right there, thank you…” 

The stranger ushers you forward to the couch, and you’re too hazy to even think of hesitating. Held up comfortably by the cushions, you feel like you’re going to fall right asleep, your consciousness melting right into the fabric below. But the man shifts, and you keep your eyes open to watch.

Keeping his head down and avoiding your sleepy stare as he walks around the furniture and behind you, he opens a cabinet that you did not initially notice and pulls out a crystal glass. Next to the cabinet is a small door, and the man slips behind it, reappearing with the glass now full of cool water. 

Slowly, the careful clicks of his dress shoes against the floor draw closer, and you squint, trying to get a better look at him from here. 

The bruise on his face isn’t the only thing marring his skin, you notice; more bruises peek from behind the sleeves of his suit, and a deep, gnarled scar cuts across his throat. On both sides of the scar lay deep red lines, like someone had fastened a collar far too tightly around his neck. A frown forming on his face is enough to interrupt your thoughts; he adjusts his shirt and tie to better cover what you’ve seen, before sitting beside you.

“Here,” he mutters, and pries your nearly-numb fingers open to place the cold glass in your grip. “Drink some, i-it’s supposed to help…”

You do as he says, and the worry in his face seems to lighten. 

“Thank… thank you. You did, um, real well, in the show. I’m sorry about what he did, though…” Even through the foggy mess that your mind currently is, a hint of fear peeks through at the man’s words. “I s-suppose I should introduce myself, I’m… Anti. And you are…?”

No matter the effort you expend, you can’t get coherent words off the tip of your tongue, not even enough to say your name. Anti sighs, understanding the feeling. 

“That’s alright. It’ll come back in a while, though you’ll never get everything back, y’know? Too late for that.”

With every word he says, more concern starts to build in your mind- what exactly have you gotten yourself into?

You’re dragged out from those thoughts when you realize that you still hear Marvin’s voice echoing from the stage, though you cannot identify any distinct words. Just a tone that wants to lull you to sleep, wants to numb the crowd into oblivion. You feel so tired, oh, why must your eyelids hang so heavy?

But Anti is still talking, too, quietly and nervous when he sees the look of fear that has grown on your face. “It- it’s alright, really! It shouldn’t… shouldn’t be any serious damage, even if it sounds scary- he only took a small part of your soul. Marv, he’s gotta feed that magic somehow, r-right?”

On shaky legs, you try to stand. You have to get out of here, don’t you? If only Anti didn’t gently push you back down by your shoulders, hushing you with a slightly panicked face, if only you didn’t feel like a gust of wind would be enough to knock you over. 

“No, no, he’ll be here after the show, okay? And… and then you should be able to go home, h-he just needs to check up on you, that’s all, promise… please get some rest, pretty please, for me?” Anti stares at you while he talks, a sickly sweet voice creeping into his words, and it’s almost like his eyes are trying to reach into your mind. Despite this, his gaze takes no effect on you. 

There’s barely any magic left inside him, after all.

☽✧    ✦    ✧☾

You do fall asleep, eventually. While Anti’s weak attempts at hypnosis did nothing, Marvin’s work is still heavy in your mind, and you’re plunged into a warm, sickeningly sweet darkness.

The dream you find yourself in is not much comfort, but you pray it lasts a while. You don’t know what will happen to you when you wake up.

☽✧    ✦    ✧☾

welcome, dear reader, to my interpretation of the corrupted!marvin au ~

that’s all, folks! go follow @jaeyleo / @cest-mellow if you have not already, she is an absolute sweetheart who inspires me so so much

sidenote: any religious imagery u spot in this is very intentional

#jse egos #marvin the magnificent #antisepticeye #reader insert #second person pov #my writing #my fics #my ego posts #i havent written in SO long and i am sorry but i hope u like this #it was kinda confusing so like. interpret and theorize as u wish #a majority of the vagueness was on purpose #psst: spoilers in the next tags #corrupted!marvin #puppet!anti

[pcvensies]

*.• Si vis amari.

0. prologue.

* dad!satoru x mom!nanamioc x son!megumi ( kinda adopted??? kinda just taken??? ) slowburn, angst!, long fic, found family trope, fluff, funny, idk pls keep reading :(

* word count: 1300.

* in which 18 year old gojo satoru is left in charge of 6 year old fushiguro megumi, with the help of 17 year old nanami suki (oc).

{ HEY SO UH this fic is very self indulgent but i hope it finds some found family bitches like me who needed it. because damn i did, so i wrote it. ik it’s not a reader fic IM SORRY OKAY, i know those are more liked but give suki a chance we truly are all suki. PLEASE DONT LET IT FLOP IT IS A PROJECT V DEAR TO ME. this is a small intro to see if u guys like it or nah. love u <3 }

next part

It was a terrible idea, really. Out of all the terrible ideas Gojo Satoru had had - and there had been plenty of them - this one was definitely the worst of them all. But we are meant to respect the dead’s wishes, right? And a favour asked by a now dead man, even if not much, meant something to him.

Also, he was dying to see the look on the Nanami twins’ faces, especially Kento’s.

The way to their apartment was silent, and awfully awkward, as any try he had made to keep a conversation with that hedgehog of a child had been ignored by the boy. Such a little asshole.

“Can you at least smile a little?”.

Silence.

“Maybe don’t, Nanamin doesn’t either. He may be more receptive to those of his kind…”.

Silence.

Satoru had no patience to deal with any of this anyway, and the small six year old by his side possessed an incredible ability to get on his nerves, even without saying a single word. Can he even speak? Geez, Fushiguro, he thought to himself, crossing his arms over his chest as the elevator started going up.

The small card which read “Nanami” wasn’t far from the elevator, and Gojo’s only thought was how annoying it must be to hear the engine going all day. But they had refused, and had been allowed somehow, to live in the school, so they had brought that upon themselves.

Kento was doing the dishes when the bell rang, and he sighed, shaking the soap from his hands.

His sister, Suki, was in the shower, and she had left him to clean everything from dinner, as always. Don’t get it wrong, she was as responsible as a seventeen year old living by herself in the city could be, but there was something about the dishes that just “grossed her out”.

“BELL RINGING!”, he heard her yell from the shower, and rolled his eyes.

Like he was deaf, or something. However, it made him suspicious that anyone would ring at their door after dinner time, and he gave it a moment of hesitation before walking to the entrance.

“Oh, Nanamiiiinnn, c’mon… I know you’re home. It’s not like you do anything with your life outside of the classes anyway, you can’t trick me!”.

Kento almost turned around in that exact moment, knowing damn well that nothing that had to do with Gojo at that time of the day could be good, but he was a well educated boy. So against his own wishes, he opened the door.

“It’s nine thirty, Gojo”, was his greeting, as he looked at the white haired boy in front of him.

Satoru waved his hand in front of him, like taking importance from it, and looked around the place, eyes searching for the other twin. In the worst scenario, Kento would try to call the police on him. But if Susu was around, she’d be able to talk him out of it.

“Gojo, I’m serious”.

“Are you ever not, dear Nanami?”, the man replied fast, followed with a sigh, “Isn’t Suki home? She could be of use right now, honestly”.

Satoru had to be very fast to get his foot between the door and the wall, or Kento would’ve locked him out for that comment.

The white haired boy apologised with a chuckle, and his eyes finally found the pink streak of hair, almost drowned by a sea of blonde, that covered Suki’s head.

She was tiny, he had realised, much shorter than himself and her twin, the big red sweatshirt she was wearing making her even smaller. Her honey-ish eyes found Gojo’s sight, and the boy sent her a grin.

“Sue, you have finally decided to bless us with your prese-“.

“What have you done this time, Gojo?”, was all he got from her, as she tied her hair and walked to the door, now standing next to her brother, “Need somewhere to hide from Yaga?”.

Kento sighed once again, ready for the bickering battle that was set to start between the two, but to his surprise, Satoru kept quiet about the remark.

He rubbed the back of his neck, almost hesitating to say whatever he wanted to say, and the Nanami’s frowned at his behaviour.

“Alright I think it’ll be easier if I show you”, he finally spoke, and took a long step to the left.

Behind him, a little boy stood. His black hair was a mess, almost covering his eyes, and he was wearing no more than a t-shirt to cover his upper body from the night’s cold.

He looked up at Kento, a serious expression on his face, and then at Suki. He didn’t say a word, and simply looked back down.

Gojo laughed nervously at the silence, watching Kento’s horrified expression contrasting with his twin sister’s curious one.

“It’ll all make sense if you let me-“.

Slam.

Before he could even finish, the door was closed in his face, and both him and the kid gasped at the yelling that came from behind.

“I’m going to call Yaga”.

“Ken stop! Don’t you think that if he could have brought him to Yaga, he wouldn’t have already?! You didn’t even let him explain himself!”.

“Because there’s no good explanation to Gojo Satoru appearing at our house, in the night, with a child! What explanation do you need?!”.

It was a little funny, honestly, to hear Kento lose his temper. Yelling and yelling about how even opening the door had been a bad idea. He should’ve seen it coming, one of Gojo’s terrible ideas.

A sneeze silenced the argument, and Gojo looked down at the kid, who cleaned his nose with the end of Satoru’s sweatshirt.

“Hey, don’t-“.

Again, he was interrupted by the door, this time as it opened, to reveal just the Nanami girl. She sighed deeply, and crouched down in front of the child, giving him a small smile.

“Are you cold, sweetheart?”, she asked softly, hands covered in the sleeves of her clothes, as she rubbed the boy’s naked arms.

The kid nodded hesitantly, looking up at the boy, and Satoru shrugged, walking in as Suki got up and signaled them to.

The girl closed the door behind them, and walked through the dark corridor, coming back a few minutes later with a small Hello Kitty jumper. It was made of white wool, with a small patch of the cat’s face in the middle of the chest.

The boy put it on without looking much at it, covering his cold arms and body with it, and Suki gave Gojo an annoyed look, like lecturing him with her eyes.

They had met a few years ago, when Satoru was a second year and they got accepted in the school. Kento and him were nothing alike, and quite a strange pair, but Suki was much more extroverted and easy going, always replying to Gojo’s remarks with even smarter ones.

They had all grown into each other, as much as the Nanami boy wouldn’t admit it out loud.

“It’s itchy”.

Suki stopped sending angry glares to Satoru to look down at the kid, who kept his sight on his shoes as he scratched his neck. The girl ruffled his hair, chuckling.

“I think what you meant to say there is ‘thank you, Nanami-san’. It’s the only one I have that is your size, kid”, she spoke, and her eyes opened wide as she heard the kid’s stomach growl, “Are you hungry?”.

The kid didn’t reply, he simply nodded his head slowly, and the girl looked up at Satoru again.

“Care to explain, Gojo?”.

n/a. leave some feedback guys i havent written in so long and i am: scared. I AM BEGGING U I NEED EXTERNAL APPROVAL.

— lulu.

#gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #gojo imagine #nanami kento #nanami kento x reader #yuuji itadori #yuuji itadori x reader #fushiguro megumi #megumi x reader #inumaki x reader #yuuta okkotsu #toji x reader #sivisamari.lulu #dad satoru #dad gojo #son megumi #toji fushiguro #gojo x reader #satoru x reader

[strangeradventuresofp]

scarred part 2(firelord!zuko x reader)

requested by : @yepthatsame​  -   Ahh I just read Scarred and it was so good! Do you think you do a part 2 where they meet again after years of his banishment? No worries if not!

A/N : thats such a good idea omg i cant believe i didnt think of it lmao but im so glad u enjoyed part 1 hopefully you enjoy this one too !!<3

part one

“All hail Fire Lord Zuko!” 

The boy you had loved and missed, for so many years suddenly emerged right in front of your eyes. You couldn’t believe it; too stunned to notice that everyone was clapping. Tears threatened to fall as you wondered if he would remember you if you appeared before him. He seemed so different than when he left. He wasn’t vulnerable anymore, it was obvious by the way he held himself; straight back, standing tall, shoulders broad. He was a completely different person; the new Fire Lord. You were happy for him, of course. All he had ever wanted to do was serve and do his country justice, and now he is. It was just such a shock to you that after leaving you to capture the avatar, they now stood side by side, smiling genuinely at each other. It was very confusing to you, and you found yourself crying as you looked up at him.

Panicking, you frantically looked for somewhere to hide as the two began walking down the stairs to greet their guests. Suddenly, and open door into the castle caught your eye, which you dashed into, luckily without being seen. You didn’t know whether you were going to try to speak to him, you didn’t have a clue if he even remembered you. 

“Can I help you?” You must have been thinking for a good while because eventually, a familiar yet very new voice called out to you. Frowning, you saw it was the Fire Lord, looking at you with confusion and concern. You tilted your head, not saying anything, just looking at him. He had more muscle than before, that was obvious. He had grown a lot taller. His hair was tied into a bun at the top of his head, instead of his signature ponytail, with baby hairs pulled out at his hairline. His eyes were a different shade of gold, they glistened and shone, even without the sunlight hitting him. You hadn’t seen his scar, and frankly, you never wanted to, but you really had no choice, frowning as you looked at it. “Um.. Are you okay?” 

His words sent your mind into an emotional frenzy, and you broke down as you recalled the day he left you, falling to your knees, tears flooding down your face, sobs thick with sorrow. It took Zuko by surprise, not exactly knowing how to help. He knelt beside you and gently placed his hand on your shoulder, to which you flinched away, looking up at him. His heart ached at the sight of your tear stained face; puffy eyes, red cheeks and swollen lips. However, it wasn’t until he looked closer at your broken eyes that he saw. He saw that they were the same broken eyes , the same teary eyes that pleaded him not to leave. Gasping, he pulled you into a hug. You grunted, struggling in his grip.

“Get off!” Your voice broke as you pushed him away from you. Zuko didn’t know what to do. He thought you would be happy to see him after all these years, but then again his abrupt exit left you shattered, and he could clearly see it.

“Y/N..”

“Don’t you dare.” You glared at him, flames in your eyes. He sighed in defeat and shut his mouth, looking at you, waiting for you to say something. When you didn’t, Zuko sighed and opened his mouth once again.

“Y/N, please. Just let me-”

“Stop it.” You spat, venom thick on your tongue. “You think you can just leave me, your best friend, for three years, come back with the avatar as Fire Lord and I’ll forgive you? You’re stupid, Zuko.” He breathed when you said his name, sadness glossing over his eyes. 

“Y/N, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry, you’ll never understand.”

“Sorry doesn’t fix something like this.” Zuko dodged your gaze as you tried to lock your eyes with his. “I loved you. I loved you more than anything. I was there for you, through everything. And you left me, without a care in the world. Tch. Some Fire Lord.” The harsh words, and use of past tense, caused the boy to flinch, his brows knitting together in empathy.

“Y/N-”

“Stop saying my-”

“Can you just let me talk? Please?” You were hurting, and knew you deserved some sort of an explanation, so you allowed him to continue. “I’m sorry, Y/N. Truly. I can never, ever take back what I did. It breaks my heart knowing what I did to you. And I wish I could take it back. But, I just want you to know.. I never stopped thinking about you. I loved you a-and I still do. With all of my heart. I’m s-”

“Stop saying you’re sorry.”

“You’re why I changed my path. When I left, I thought my destiny was to capture the avatar and restore my honor, and come home, to you. To my family. But my Uncle got inside my head and I began to realize that you would hate me, if I enabled my father’s sick fantasy of superiority. So I had to do something about it. And that’s why I’m here, trying to make amends for what my family had done. I am so, so sorry, Y/N. And if you could ever find it in your heart to forgive me, I would be-” Zuko was cut off by you, pulling him into a tight hug. He sighed contently, happy to finally have you back in his arms, willingly. He stroked your hair as you sobbed against his chest. You felt safe in his embrace and gently leaned into him, smiling at his warmth.

“I never stopped loving you, Y/N.” Feeling too weak to say anything, you looked up to him and cupped his cheek in your small hand, smiling wider than you had before, tears staining your pretty face. Zuko leaned into your touch and smiled back at you, using his thumbs to delicately wipe the tears from your face. He pressed a light kiss to your temple before pulling you into a hug once again. You sniffled, before opening your mouth to speak.

“I forgive you, Zuko.”

“Thank you, Y/N.”

“Zuko?”

“Yes?”

“I never stopped loving you either.” Zuko smiled at your words, slowly leaning in before touching his lips with yours. You were both equally as happy to be back in each other’s arms. You loved each other, and you were finally together again. The Fire Lord finally felt like he was truly at home again, as did you, in his embrace.

“So... ‘Fire Lord Zuko’, huh?”

my masterlist (requests open!)

A/N : guys im SO SORRY i havent written for so long and i promise im getting to the other requests but it might take me a little while and im so so sorry but im suffering such bad writers block rn and ive been so busy the last few days too but anyway im so sorry this is short i hope u like it though and i also hope you have a fantastic day ilysm<3 xo p

#avatar #aang #avatar the last airbender #avatar the legend of korra #avatar the rise of kyoshi #the legend of korra #legend of korra #the last airbender #prince zuko #zuko #zuko x reader #poor zuko #fire lord zuko #fire lord ozai #fire lord azula #atla azula #atla #sokka x reader #azula x reader #prince zuko x reader #katara x zuko #katara x jet #katara x reader #earth kingdom #ba sing se #fire natio #air nomads #northern water tribe #southern water tribe

[wri0thesley]

many many anons under the cut bc i didn’t want anyone to feel like i was ignoring them and i wanted to respond to u all! warning for small text too, it was so long i wanted to make it look smaller fgbnjkgkjn

Anonymous asked: NAT... you can write WHATEVER you want! It's your blog, and I hope that rude anons can learn to respect that. I used to be on your blog just for jjba content too, so when you started getting into jjk I was indifferent but eventually you dragged me into jjk so hard!! I already like bnha, so seeing you write for it only made me happier! I hope that you continue to write whatever make YOU happy:) ❤and yes, longer fics certainly doesnt mean it's better, quality over quantity

ahh i’m happy that you are here for all three!! i always feel so accomplished when someone is like ‘your constant screaming made me think about jjk <3′. all three of the fandoms are fairly popular and i tag everything v carefully so i hope people who do use the filtering find that useful!!! 

Anonymous asked: Goodness gracious. People really be out there thinking they're entitled to dictating what kind of content you should be making

i think part of it might be that i do take requests so people feel like they have like . . . a certain right to certain kinds of my content? i take requests mostly bc they keep me motivated, i like making content for ppl who cant find what they want bc i’ve Been There, but maybe people think i am a pushover? idk i am just trying to have a good time!!!

Anonymous asked: Hi. I only started following you a few days ago but please ignore that rude anon. People are so fucking entitled towards writers it's insane. I recently had someone throw a fit for "spoiling" something in my fanfic, even though the fic was about a manga-exclusive character, so what did they expect?? Overall I've really enjoyed your writing so random assholes coming to guilt you is just a shitty thing that happens. Keep going with what you wanna do.

ah gosh anon i’m sorry about that :(. i’m always super careful tagging spoilers and stuff but like, if someone clicks on a fic about say, naoya or the steel ball run boys and is mad that i spoil something they havent found out yet . . . yeah thats on them fgbnkjgfkjn

Anonymous asked: That...that anon had the nerve to say "we". The fuck?! No no no anon, YOU'RE the only one talking and you're just talking for yourself, don't you dare try and lump us other anons/followers up with you to make yourself look like you're right. We love you nat and we appreciate you. It's your blog, you're allowed to write about whoever and whatever. This brain dead anon just needs to either go read someone else if they're that salty or write their own stuff if they're that impatient.

gosh i WISH some of my mad anons would just write their own stuff honestly. idk if this anon thought they were talking for everybody but i guess they expected anons to agree with them and not be mad at them. i appreciate u anon ;_;

Anonymous asked: Just want to say that ily and you’re one of the best jojo fanfic writers in my opinion 💗 I don’t think you’re half assing jojo fics and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you being multi fandom. A lot of jojo blogs have started posting about jjk so it’s not as if you’re the only one. I’m not sure why you get hate like this but I think it’s just because you’re one of the popular writers and that makes people bitter for whatever reason. Keep being you and posting about the things that make you happy 💕

honestly after so long writing for jojo - i’ve written well over 200 jojo reader insert fics - sometimes it feels like i’m retreading stuff, and that’s when i take a break bc i dont wanna half-ass stuff!!! i love all of my fellow jojo friends who are posting about jjk too, i appreciate them <3. 

Anonymous asked: Hey my dude, ur writing has really grown since the jojo days and its better and awesome seeing u become happier to branch off and write in different fandoms 🤌🤌 those stupid anons are just boring farts that couldnt be bothered making their own content 😤😤 is it possible to block them to ease ur mind?

hello anon!! i run a statcounter for IPs but it doesnt always work for ppl who access through the tumblr app, i don’t think; a lot of the anon hate i get i just use the ‘block’ option, but last night got to me because i’ve been getting that kind of writer a lot which is . . . a bad look for the jojo fandom who are, as a whole from the ones i’ve interacted with, lovely!!! <3

Anonymous asked: People often forget, the person behind art or writing, is just another regular fan. You deserve to be happy with what you create and we should be thankful you share your talent with us. You also have right to change your main interests, and it's very normal thing. Jojo is one of the MANY things that you write for and all you get from that is a like or share. Its not your job. It's your fun thing to do, in spare time. You haven't betrayed anybody. That person was just rude, selfish and bored.

i am just a person doing my best!!! anime fanfic is one of many interests i have and i already devote a lot of time to it honestly, i love when people tell me they’ve enjoyed something i made bc it makes it feel worthwhile but equally it gets to me a lot when people are rude because i am usually trying my hardest. 

Anonymous asked: Bro that jjba anon... the entitlement🤮 Fam, you write whatever you want to write😤 -Saturday

dfnjbkjnkgf i find most fic readers are NOT entitled at all and are just grateful but when they are . . . oof. 

Anonymous asked: It's funny how people throw "we got you popular" and they think you start apologize and cry. Your writing and passion made you gain few numbers on a follow counter, nothing more. I think I'm too old for stuff like this, we are nothing more, but +1 on a number scale. You ow us nothing, we ow you nothing. Popular... Funny word. You just write for fun of it, fake scenarios about someone's manga characters. It's not that deep. Have fun and don't listen to people like this. I knew it's not that easy, but they are really not that important as they think they are.

extremely fun fact for people who think ‘popularity’ is important to me: i would 100% rather have 10 people who regularly comment, reblog my fics with tags and interact with me than 100 people who read my fic and either leave a like or simply move on. i think this is true for the VAST MAJORITY of writers tbh. i’m glad that people think i am a ‘popular’ blog (i am not in the grand scheme of things, one of my ex-best friends used to run a kpop reader insert blog with like 30,000 followers) bc it gives me an ego boost lmao, but i really just want people to read and enjoy the stuff i write!!! 

Anonymous asked: I followed you a while ago for jojo and when my friends started getting into jjk i was like...eh sounds like work...but now that I see you writing for it I feel really motivated to get into it!!! I really enjoy your writing and I want to be able to read the new stuff too!

ah anon i really hope you like it!!! it’s only one season rn if u wanna watch the anime and there isn’t too much of the manga to catch up on either but it is a lot of fun and it’s nice to be in a fandom that’s like, excited about a new chapter and new plot developments every week!

Anonymous asked: Pls dont reply if u dont want to! <3 I'm not sure if this will be of any help to you or not but this is the kind of thing that often helps me and is the only way I know to try comfort others so I wanted to give it a go~

Now im not gonna say 'dont feel bad pls' bc I know that's not really useful but what I do think is useful is just discussing why that anon and many others feel the need to respond that way. As someone who follows a lot of writing blogs myself and have done for a long time, i've seen my handful of favourite writers come and go for different reasons, lose motivation for a while, gain motivation for a while, go from multi to single fandom, or single fandom to multi. Often times as a reader it can be upsetting when things change but it's also important as a reader to understand that some things aren't in anyone's control, I can't control what my favourite writers become a fan of or lose interest of, I can't control things in their personal lives that may motivate or demotivate them to write, but what I can do is support them as long as they're active, and if they move on to do things i'm no longer interested in or i'm the one that changed interests, rather than being upset that they're evolving to do other things or that they're not evolving with me, I think it's important that I still feel thankful for the works that I enjoyed while we were still on the same page and this is how I personally deal with those negative feelings. I think the anons that lash out at you probably just dont know what to do with themselves, maybe they got attached to your works while you were still only a jjba blog and now that you're evolving they're upset, while I understand how they feel, they're going the completely wrong way about it. I've learned to take these things and turn them into something positive for myself or at least something bittersweet that I can move on from but the anons that lash out at you for whatever reason probably haven't learned this yet. Maybe it's because i've moved on and changed interests a lot myself that I know how these things go for both writers and readers but those anons maybe haven't experienced this as much so they dont know what to do with themselves other than complain that you've changed and throw insults at you in an attempt to get you to revert back. None of this is because of the quality of your writing like they want you to believe, it's literally just because you've evolved and while some of your old followers might not like the new content for no reason other than it not being their cup of tea, it's definitely not regressed at all. You are pumping out a lot of content right now but every single thing i've read has just been better than the last. Things that really stand out to me is how well you get characterisation down to a T and all of your dialogue is just on point and from the pov of a reader I think those things seem the hardest to get right so I am such a huge fan of your stuff at the moment and I can tell you're really putting so much thought and care into each and every fic no matter how fast you're producing it, I think the fact that you're also proud of what you're writing at the moment really shines through as well and I just adore the passion that radiates from every completed request as well as in the responses for the subsequent thirsts resulting from these works that appear in your ask box later (I know i've sent quite a few by now~)

Just to be clear i'm not defending those anons in any way, while I can understand what they might be feeling/why they're reacting in the way they are I still believe it's just so immature to be hateful online point blank. Even during a time where I still got upset with writers if they started doing something else I still never targeted that negativity directly to the writer and sending rude or hateful comments whether on anon or not never something i'd stooped low enough to do even when I still had an immature way of thinking, however, I hope that it might make it a little easier to brush them off if we try and understand what they're really upset about, and that they're just putting the blame for their negative feelings onto the wrong thing rather than coming to terms with change themselves.

hello anon!! i appreciate the long message. i do feel bad for people who have no interest in what i’m currently producing and i get that they feel upset about it; i’ve watched a lot of fellow jojo writers move on completely or just stop posting, honestly. this kind of thing is why i was so intense about asking people if it would be better if i made a separate blog but the resounding answer seemed to be ‘i’m just vibing with whatever happens and i’ll block tags as needed’. 

i often return to works by my favourite reader-insert writers who no longer write for the fandoms i like (and i read stuff bc it sounds interesting or i trust the person who writes it), but change can be difficult and i guess at this point i’ve - whether u like me or not lmao - been a fixture in jojo reader-insert tumblr for a While so it’s probably kind of jarring. 

anyway i really appreciate you and the nice words! <3 

Anonymous asked: hi nat! I just wanted to pop in and say that regardless of what fandom you write for, the love and care you pour into your writing and into interacting with followers who care about your work as well is really obvious. you're doing this for FREE and people should appreciate what you've given us so far, since ultimately this blog should be for you, whatever that means to you at any point in time. it's ok to jump fandoms! the important thing is that you feel good about what you're producing and that it makes you happy. everyone else is just a bonus - but, seeing you on my dash certainly makes me happy : ) I hope you feel better soon!

thank you anon! i’m feeling much better and happier today. birthdays are very difficult for me (i did not think i’d be alive at eighteen, much less 25!) so this event is definitely kind of a way for me to concentrate on something else, and i’m a little bit extra sensitive atm. i appreciate you so much, thank you for the kind words!!! <3

Anonymous asked: Hello! I just wanted to say, write what YOU want and make YOUR writings as long as you'd like. 💖 To the anon who is like "We mAdE yOu FaMoUs dOnt HalF asS iT" stfu, let people do what they wanna do. If you think they half do it, write something better and longer you asshat.

this is an open invitiation to that anon to send me a link to their writing blog and i’ll hype them up i promise <3 

Anonymous asked: nat i'm so so sorry about that ask please know that your older followers don't share the same opinion :( sometimes people forget about the living, breathing person behind the screen smh. you are not a machine. you absolutely should not restrict yourself to posting about one fandom forever. yes, we're first pulled in by your amazing content, but we stay for your wonderful personality and work ethic. please just keep being you, taking up projects you feel comfy with! <333 bless u

ahh thank u anon! unfortunately i actually am a writing robot, i’m sorry u had to find out this way. my jojo chip has been removed, please send it back so i can continue to not half-ass my jojo work. fgnjkbgjkfn thank you so much angel!!! i appreciate you ;_;.

Anonymous asked: i don’t think it’s fair for other people to say shit about what you choose to write about because on tumblr and other writing platforms, writers are constantly developing how they write and the fandoms that they write for. it’s not fair for someone to criticize that “you don’t care about jjba blah blah blah” because you can enjoy new shows/manga. and like you said you’ve grown so much!! proud of you nat and im glad that ive been able to read your works (sincerely other nat)

i am STILL waiting for you to come and fight me other nat fgnjkbnf. it’s nice to be enjoying different things! i am constantly learning new things and reading new works and making new friends and improving and i think that’s important. i do care about jjba - a lot! but i can care about other things too! <3 

Anonymous asked: I may not be one of your oldest followers, but i've been here for almost 3 years. Yes, i started following u for ur jojo content, but let me tell u, ur newfound motivation and enthusiam for other fandoms was honestly contagiuos for me. And i say this as a person who finds very difficult to move from one interest to another. Jojo is great, but so are other fandoms. Please don't let some faceless scum rob u that motivation. This is ur blog and u r always free to write whatever u want.

honestly, i have been there! i am autistic and i have special interests and watching other people move on to stuff i’m not vibing with has made me sad in the past, but i want people to be happy more than anything and sometimes that means new things and change! <3 

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I saw that rude anon message & I just wanted to pop in & say that they're wrong. You're not betraying anyone & you should write whatever it is you want to write. I followed you for jojo & I'm not familiar with the other fandoms that you write for, but personally it makes me SO happy to see you enjoying new things! It's always good to find joy wherever you can, so keep writing what you're interested in. There a lot of ppl who want to see you happy and healthy <3

honestly the idea of it being a GRAND BETRAYAL is so funny, i am just writing anime fanfic here and thriving!!! tysm anon! <3

Anonymous asked: Those anons can piss off! They have no right to judge how long or how short your writing is. If they want longer content write it their damn selves. I think your writing has improved wonderfully and I originally followed for Jojo and I'm enjoying all the content period. I don't even watch jujutsu ( not my cup of tea personally) but I love seeing the creativity and the interactions. You write what makes you happy Nat and that's on that! You don't owe anybody anything! I know how hard writing is and when your consuming new content it's hard to make content for something else. That doesn't mean you don't like it any more your just doing something different for a while. Love you and your content and I'm enjoying the love your putting into your content whether long or short. ♥♥💕 Sending love your way!

honestly my idea of ‘short content’ is still over 1k words, i’m not good at reeling myself in! i guess it’s bc they see like, 1.5k jojo fic versus 5k jjk fic but it’s not that i didn’t enjoy the first fic, just that the point and the story came a lot quicker and so did the natural end! thank you anon, i appreciate you ;_; 

Anonymous asked: Hello! Just wanted to let your know that I think your writing is awesome, and that you should write for whoever and for whatever you want to! You dont have to stay loyal to one fandom or anything, and your followers shouldn't expect that from you! It's not like they are paying you to write, you are doing this for free, and because you enjoy it and it makes you happy! If they dont like your stuff, they dont have to follow you, they can go to other blogs that cater to their taste, and they definitely don't need to be sending you such hurtful comments, and they dont get to make you feel sad about your writing! Just because they followed you during your earlier stages of writing, doesn't mean you owe them some type of loyalty or compensation! You can write literally whatever you want as long as it makes you happy! That's what your hobby and your blog are for! I hope you know that alot of your followers love your work and think that you are an amazing writer and are down to support the work that makes you happiest! 💖💖

ahh thank you so much anon!!! i am always so bowled over by how many people are nice to me when something like this happens, i am sending you my love <3

Anonymous asked: don’t listen to them!! we love you as a writer no matter what you write, because you’re a good person and a talented writer!! you shouldn’t have to change what you write to please a bitter person, and if they only want jjba, they can go to another blog instead of bringing you down. you’re doing amazing and they should be thankful you grace us with your talents!!

to be totally honest, if i was half-assing or not vibing with content i was making i just. wouldn’t post it. like you’d be able to TELL when i was half-assing stuff just to get words out (source: i have re-read my own nanowrimo works). there are lots of great jjba blogs who could do with more followers n interaction!!! i hope they do find them and i hope they’re nice to them :(. 

Anonymous asked: Please don’t pay attention to that anon. People only have that confidence when they have anon turned on. Them looking through your blog despite feeling that way is peak fan behavior and speaks to how addicting your writing is. Naturally, you can’t please everyone and there will be people who are irrational and feel entitled to tell you what to do or what to write no matter what. Trust me when I say they’re a small minority and are more likely probably passing viewers rather than regulars. I check your blog about three or more times a day because I love reading not just your fics but also your takes, banter with other anons, or even random updates. Brainrot posts? LOVE TO SEE IT!!! Desk update? AMAZING!!! With that being said, don’t feel pressured to continue pushing out content for others. Write what makes you happy! You’ve been writing for JJBA for 4 years and it’s completely normal + healthy to get into new media. I’m not sure if it would mean much, but your love for JJK has gotten me excited to start it too!!

anon i really hope you enjoy it!!! sometimes these anons remember stuff i’ve posted and said better than i do tbh, i am living in their heads rent free i guess! 

Anonymous asked: I've been following you for a couple of years and honestly it would always be a joy to see when you posted. Your writing has improved and I'm very happy you're enjoying yourself ! I know it hurts hearing and seeing stuff like that but I'm happy you're here. I'm honestly blessed everytime you post. Your writing is phenomenal. I love reading it even if its characters that I dont care for. You capture their essences so well and weave an amazing tale within the prompts and whatnot. You're amazing nat!

wehh thank you so much!!! re: the improvement, i really don’t feel like it has and then i re-read something i wrote when i first started and i’m like oh my god maybe it has. did i really write about jotaro acting like that. 

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat. I recently became a follower of yours and I'm really saddened to see you get hate. You seem like a genuinely sweet person with amazing talent! I'm a writer myself and, unfortunately, get the same kind of comments. And when you get those comments, it doesn't leave you feeling motivated. People need to understand that people can and will, at times, grow out of fandoms. (1 Not just that but you're doing all of this for free. Again, I'm sorry you got such a comment. But please know that I'm proud of how far you've come. I'm proud that you're living a life that makes you happy. And no matter what fandom you may find yourself in next, I will always enjoy your writing. Take care of yourself. (2 end

HELLO NEW FOLLOWER I LOVE YOU (i get a lot more a day now than i used to and i feel guilty about not being able to look through so many blogs but i do try and follow back other writers for my fandoms!! ;_;). i’m sorry you get the same kind of comments! i’m always just happy to see people i like enjoying new things, even if i have no interest in it (hello to all of my mutuals who write for hunter x hunter and haikyuu, not interested but i’m sure you’re having a great time and i support you!!!). 

Anonymous asked: I'm sure you're getting a barrage of supportive messages now (at least I hope so) but I figured I'd add my voice, because I'm a longtime follower. Your writing is, and always has been, wonderful. I've been so happy to see you and Haz get to a place that works for you both. Idk if it's obvious for everyone, but you seem like you're emotionally in a pretty good place most of the time these days, and it makes me really happy to see that. I followed years ago for JJBA content, but I stayed because regardless of what content you put out, I find your wit delightful. And I'll stick around even if you move fandoms entirely, because whatever content or editorializing you produce is going to be worth reading, regardless of what it's for.

ahh, anon!! thank you for sticking around so long, sorry if you’re old enough to have been around the vore and jorts and spider rohan fiascos! <3 i am definitely a lot more stable than i have been and - barring the Pandemic Related Mental Health Issues - happier! i’m glad that it’s noticeable! <3

Anonymous asked: It actually makes me mad how entitled some people are. Nat, you're not a content creating machine and those who expect you to be are not worth wasting a thought on. Your love for something is not measured in word counts and for you to write every day without getting burned out in the slightest you really must have a burning passion and huge dedication to your craft. If others decide to send hate then allow me to send admiration because I can feel your love and hard work in each post you make!

i try and write every day bc it’s super good for my little ocd/autistic brain to have routines and distract itself, so i’m glad other people can enjoy them because that makes me motivated to carry on! like, i write for myself mostly bc the content i want i sometimes get find, but filling requests and writing for other people also leaves me with happy warm fuzzies too! i appreciate you!! <3 

Anonymous asked: If people only care about your writing for the jojo porn that’s on THEM, not you. Your writing was amazing when I followed about a year ago, and it’s only gotten better and will continue to get better! I think it really comes through when you enjoy what you’re writing and it adds a whole other layer of worth to it, because not only are you making free content but you LIKE that content and we can all gush about it together!!! More than just fans, I think you’ve created a community here and we don’t just stick around to read smut, I promise you that. -Reronon

i do miss having a discord community bc it was nice to talk to everyone in real time but it was hard work, i am glad that people feel like they can just come into my askbox and gush! i’m not very friendly in real life and people tend to think i am cold and stuck up so i work very hard to try and seem friendly and approachable online, which is much easier for me because i get to think and re-draft before i type! <3 

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I’m sure you’re getting a lot of messages like this right now but I just wanted to say for what it’s worth that, as a person who originally followed you for jjba content and hasn’t watched/read any of the other series you’re currently writing for, I’m honestly still along for the ride. This is your blog and you’re allowed to do what you want with it and put out what content you feel like writing. Sometimes??? People acquire new interests??????? Shocking! I know absolutely nothing about jjk or bnha but out of curiosity still read some of your posts about them and even though I might not Get It, I still enjoy them because I think you’re a very talented writer! Honestly, as long as you’re still writing, I’m still down to clown, and whenever you take breaks (which are important!) I’ll still be waiting for your return or supporting and respecting your decision to stay away longer. Don’t let the entitled assholes get you down. Utilize YOUR blog and YOUR space however YOU choose. Your talent and kindness speak for themselves. Love you!!! ❤️❤️❤️

anon i care about you and i am so appreciative of you and everyone for sending me such nice messages! i am running out of ways to say it but it’s true, it really does mean a lot to me ;_; <3

#nat.txt