#i havent thought this next thought through very much but i think thats also why they would never like call the doctor a timelord

[the-terukane-archives]

this is a long one but here we go (okayokayokay this is probably really out of character but i thought of it in class and had to share)

a headcanon or concept i hold very dear to me is the idea that one day terukane end up having some kind of sleepover. and before that day teru had never really had any sleepovers before because he was out for his work and ALSO because since he grew up surrounded by supernaturals he probably has nightmares, and they wake him up all the time.

so theyre having this sleepover (probably right after the severance because teru has free time finally) and theyre in bed asleep (akane is on the floor) and akane is half asleep, hes like barely awake when he is startled by teru yelling in his sleep from a nightmare. so he freaks out and rushes to help him and see whatever is going on but teru is having a night terror so he lays there wish him trying to wake him until he wakes up. and theyre both obviously shaken, which ends up with them sharing a bed for comfort. it took a little while but they ended up holding each other after a little bit.

next morning they wake up in that same position, akane wakes up before teru and realizes that Oh Shit this is actually kinda nice. so he lays in bed and (as much as his in denial oblivious self will let him) tries to figure out what hes feeling, and how maybe hes just realizing that he had felt this way for a while just hadn't considered the possibility of liking teru. soon enough teru wakes up too (pretends hes asleep though because akane is playing with his hair and he had wanted that for years) and they talk about that night, teru confesses that he had frequent nightmares so thats why he said no to sleepovers and how he usually just wakes up and goes on his phone till he feels less shaken.

two or three nights later, akane cant sleep (he maybe stays up a little bit late) and is on his phone when he notices that teru is online at that late hour. its not any different from usual, but akane remembers their conversation from a few nights prior. so he gets up and sneaks out and goes to teru's house. hes all "i saw you were active so i figured i would check up on you" and teru is Touched by this. like capital T Touched. akane (kinda nervously) lays down next to him and they end up cuddling again, and they fall asleep like that again.

this then proceeds to happen almost every night for a few weeks.

but one night akane has a nightmare about teru dying, and he just cant take it so he goes over to his house even though teru is asleep. he goes into his room and doesnt even wake him up first, he just gets in his bed and lays with him. teru wakes up and is concerned, he had never just shown up without teru being awake first. so he asks him whats going on, and akane is quiet and embarrassed by this fear of teru getting hurt so he says nothing. teru asks again and akane responds, "y'know, you're really important to me." teru is confused and agrees that he feels the same, he is very important to him too (so far they havent said anything about being anything other than platonic). so akane says "not like that, you're just.. really special to me" and teru holds him a bit tighter. it finally clicks in akane's brain that 'oh yeah maybe its not just me feeling this'. so he looks at teru for a moment and, without wanting to say the words out loud and also tired, just kisses him really quick. he realizes what he did and freaks out and gets up out of bed saying how it was an accident and that he should just pretend it didn't happen. meanwhile teru is stunned, he had liked him for YEARS and now what he had wanted for forever just happened but akane is walking away and trying to climb back out the window so he gets up and without letting himself even think it through first he holds akane in place and kisses him again. theyre both shocked but teru tells him afterwards not to be sorry because he wanted it for a while, which was basically a confession, so akane is Shocked (with a capital S!) and goes and sits down on the edge of the bed to process for a second. so to confirm, he asks teru what he meant by that and teru says "i think you already know" and akane is speechless so he just reaches over and grabs his hand. after a few seconds akane breaks the silence and says "i think you know why i did it too, then." they stare at each other for a moment and then they both start smiling really wide and lean into each other and hug for a while. teru is like About To Cry because he had liked akane since they were kids but thought he would never feel the same!! but!! he likes him back!!! which leads to them talking about it for a little while, saying everything they had hidden from the other (and maybe kissing a few more times too) and they decide that maybe they should be more than friends but by then its like 4 AM so they choose to talk about it in the morning and go to sleep in each others arms. the truth is out and the next morning they solidify the relationship and decide that they should date each other and then talk some more about how they feel and stuff and then now theyre dating

IM SORRY THAT WAS SO LONG i have many thoughts anyways i hope you like it lol

*through tears* NICE 👍🏽

anyways (opens google docs sneakily)

#tbhk #terukane

[sunnythesillygoose]

Narrator Design Process (so far (I need a second opinion))

Hello and welcome to this design journey of the Narrator from The Stanley Parable of course (this game is holding me hostage). Im going to take you through my process step by step. Why? Why not?

First I thought it would be fun to look at what the fandom has cooked up. Get a bit inspired and all that. I havent really looked into the fandom before, just saw a couple compilations that convinced me to buy the game. 

(I linked all of the artist at the end of this mess. Am I making this more complicated than it should be? Probably.)

I love the creativity of the fandom, there are so many different designs for the Narrator. I picked ones I found interesting or are somewhat similar to what I had in mind.

The next step was research, a lot of it actually. I read the fanwiki for information about the narrator, there might be hints at what he actually looks like that I simply missed. Turns out there isnt much, nothing to be precise. I refused to give up yet, so I decided to look up the voice actor of the Narrator: Kevan Brighting. The issue is there arent many pictures of him online(that I could find), which makes it hard for me to guess a bodytype. None the less I used Kevan Brighting as the base for my design. Judging from his twitter he likes being the Narrator and he did a phenomenal job in the game, so I think its fitting to honor him this way.

Since there arent many visuals to go off of I tried to guess more things about the Narrator based off of what he says, how he behaves and how he constructed the game. From here on out its heavy headcanon territory. The story the Narrator wrote takes place in an office building. In the first rooms it all seems normal, but the further down you go things get messy. Messy in the way that no actual building is built like that. In my headcanon the Narrator works in an office building where he spends a lot of time.mainly at his desk somewhere. He wants to be free of that job but somehow cant, so he wrote a little story about the office and the mind control facility and freedom. Through Stanley he can live out this freedom he cant have. If we boil this down to something that can be used for a design, its that the Narrator is an office worker, his outfit should reflect that. In the confusion ending you can also hear the Narrator rustling with paper, so I thought it would be fun to give him a clip board with paper where he organises his story. At the same time he forgets he has a clip board, so he writes on his arms. Many see this as rather childish, it reflects how childish he can be.

The idea I def wanted to adopt from the already existing designs is the headset. I find it very creative and fitting, as the Narrator is well, a narrator.

This is my second ref board. Here I also started to think about colors, and what else would be more fitting than the game itself? When I design something for myself I use colors I like and I bet the Narrator did the same, so I want to use the colors of the office building for his design. Here Id also like to state that in my headcanon the Narrator is left handed, because he wants Stanley to go trough the left door cuz it might come more naturally to him (because he is left handed).

The thing Im the most unsure about is the Narratos tie. In many designs its yellow, a great spot for an accent color and its a direct reference to the Adventure Line. And thats the thing- its the Adventure Line. The Adventure Line is its own entity with its own will, and Im unsure if I want to make it part of the Narrators design. On the other hand it is genius character design.

Here are my sketches so far (The sketches with arrows are the ones Im going with). As you can see the hair was a struggle, because I wanted it longer which did not work out as intended. The body type needed a bit too but I am satisfied with how it is in its current form. (I swear he is shaped like my religion teacher)

Just to make it clear, he scribbled on his arm but cant read it afterwards.

Okay Im not actually finished with the design yet because I want a second opinion. So please, if you have any suggestions, ideas or things youve noticed do let me know.

https://www.tumblr.com/spookyspeks/694040150380101632/finally-made-a-proper-final-ref-of-my

https://thinking-outside-the-giftbox18.tumblr.com/post/696308843115954176/the-stanley-parable-stanley-and-narrator-designs

https://vega-482.tumblr.com/post/704296923697446912/my-stanley-and-narrator-refs-plus-more-info

https://cym-k.tumblr.com/post/700050862599471104/unauthorized-fucking-thing-send-them-to-the-void

https://www.tumblr.com/marsalta/713334348855869440/duketod-s-narrator-design

https://www.tumblr.com/scooterofficial/713357064372731904/more-narrators-idek

https://www.tumblr.com/entorandy/713377431714725888/heres-some-stanley-parable-narrator-stuff-i

https://sketchy--d00dles.tumblr.com/post/713528541321494528/sad-wet-creature

#the stanley parable #the stanley parable the narrator #the narrator #the stanley parable ultra deluxe #tspud #tspud narrator #the stanley parable narrator #design #character design #design process #character design process #tsp

[fefairys]

53 54 55 56 57 59 60 68 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 . lol i just want u to do all of them

ur crazy i love u so much <3 under the cut again

53. Alpha kids or Beta kids? grrrrr I LIKE THEM ALL!!!!! im gonna say alpha kids cuz theyre underrated and im an alpha kid lover, but i really love them all :/

54. Alpha trolls or Beta trolls? beta trolls.

55. Beforus or Alternia? beforus is really interesting to look at because its so nuanced, i think. alternia is fun too because violence and killing and murder and all the trauma that comes with that, but there's also the insidiousness of beforus being seen as a "utopia" but it actually sucks really bad also, just in more subtle ways. beforus, final answer.

56. Derse or Prospit? DERSE GANG BABEY!!!! I LIKE. PURBLE!!!!

57. The Felt or The Midnight Crew? oh man i really like all the funnie time powers of the felt. gonna go with them even tho i love the midnight crew dearly as well.

59. Red team or blue team? i think red team would be more fun to be on because of the drama of it all

60. Meat or candy? oouugugughhhhhh..... both. neither. certain aspects of each. throw it all in the garbage. reread it 10 times. AAAHHHH

68. already answered

70. Do you like your God Tier outfit? (maid of heart) yeah i think its alright. looks comfy 👍 a fun dress might be nice tho...

71. Ship headcanons? this is too vague im going to eat you.

72. Character headcanons? eating you again this is EVEN MORE VAGUE

73. Meteor trip headcanons? man i dunno. rose and vriska stumbling upon each other alone at one point and its really awkward at first because theyve never really talked and rose probably dislikes vriska from the things kanaya has said about her, but she is very intriguing isn't she? they get to talking, as light players do, and vriska thinks rose is super cool, maybe she even says "You know what, Lalonde? You're actually pretty alright." and rose... hmm... rose wants to keep her distance, karkat and kanaya have both told her so many accounts of vriska being just straight up fucking evil. rose would probably suspicious of her trying to befriend her. i don't know that's all i've got idk what happens next.

74. Earth C headcanons? big polycule.

75. already answered

76. Do you like kidswaps? Do you have a favorite? kidswaps i have found more intriguing than bloodswaps for some reason.. i really like dave lalonde and rose strider i think that is rife for some super interesting shit going on. but idk i dont really think about AUs like this very much!

77. Do you like speciesswaps? Do you have a favorite? again havent really thought about it. designing the kids as trolls is really fun, but haven't thought about the implications or anything!

78. Do you use quadrants IRL? yup. you know this, juice, my kismoirailsis lol... fun fact for anyone else reading this, me and juice started as kismesises, which tends to surprise people who know us irl because we seem like we're sooo in love (which we are) but yeah we are still kismesises under that :) real!

79. Do you like celebrating 4/13? hell fucking yeah brother its a high holy day for me

91. Favorite hemocaste? aw man idk. probably gold. cool powers and usually nerds, whats not to love!

92. Favorite typing quirk? typing quirks are so fun i like all of em!!! T3R3Z1'S 1S D3F1N1T3LY 4 F4VOR1T3 THOUGH!!!

93. Favorite MSPFA? i have never read one all the way through </3 vast error is pretty cool but i am NOT caught up on it at all. thats the only one i've gotten super far in :/ sowwy

94. What would your strife specibus be? hmmmm.... i've always liked the idea of umbrellakind theres so much u can do with that, that's why i gave it to my first fantroll ever! so yeah i'll go with that. umbrella.

95. already answered

96. What would your lusus be? i want it to be a kitty... idk tho my trollsona's lusus is dead i havent really thought about it!

97. What caste do you feel you’d belong to, regardless of your zodiac? definitely a low one, still. idk rust feels right!

98. What characters do you relate most to? well.

99. already answered

100. One popular HS opinion you agree with? uh idk davekat and rosemary good 👍 :)

#answer meme #homestuck #asks #Anonymous

[maschotch]

Ok so smth that has always bothered me in shows (which I feel criminal minds is very guilty of) is when they make characters go through certain plotlines that are like low-key traumatic but then just never do anything long lasting with it??? Like say if someone got kidnapped and it was a p traumatic event but then next episode everything is normal and they move on like nothing happened. Walking dead was VERYY guilty of this they just kept pulling shit for pure shock value and it got to the point of, like,,,,what's the point????? It's not doing anything for the characters growth or development, it's not giving any new or interesting dynamics between characters or interactions so why bother?????? I feel like there're many examples of this in criminal minds but I think the best one is Reid's addiction and the way they just completely ignored it hafkvvi. Like it seemed like they were planning to do smth with it but then they just???? Didn't ?????? Kinda funny tbh. I'm not saying it always has to be all IN YOUR FACE this character went through some SHIT like compare it to hotch and his reaction to fire, as much as I may wish we'd gotten some info about it I do really like how subtle it is I think it's just a neat observation and interesting little detail they decided to give his character, in fact subtle reactions may be my favourite kind cause it's a good way too show smth is affecting them w/o bringing too much forced attention to it. I'm also not saying they should still be haunted over it seven seasons later or anything but at least make it longer than like 2 episodes hahfjgjgkja it's just nice to have some proper closure to some things yk?? I'm absolutely rambling now sorry and I'm low-key forgetting what my point is but I just have hmmmmm many thoughts

yeah i think a lot of long-running shows tend to do this. they keep trying to up the ante/raise the stakes but dont show nearly as much as the aftermath as they could. they’re more concerned with viewer retention than character consistency, which ig i cant really blame them for since thats the fucking point of these network shows, but it’s annoying nonetheless. i havent seen twd so i cant say much on that, but it’s definitely common

#asks #Unfortunate but thats the Brand #cm crit

[writtengalaxies]

hey hey! im down for a little chat <3

-

i only found this blog like, 2 days ago but i can already feel myself getting the urge to go back and reread everything here. content of the highest quality over here <3 /gen

all the fics on AO3 would be really nice as well imo! although i cant say that i use the site that frequently, it could be a good way for others to find your works! at least thats how i see it

i think its due to how much i simp for this man, but i really love love LOVE the memory files. the trope is fairly common (from what ive seen) but the way you write it? chefs kiss. i am patiently but eagerly waiting for the next part mwah <3

the cup god chronicles were also a really fun read. i dont fully really see content (READ: fics) for him regularly so i was immediately intrigued and when i tell you, i was HOOKED. big fan, i love this doofus <3

-

now imma ask you something. who's your fave ego? my guess is engineer lol

also, whats your pronouns? i havent seen them listed anywhere ^^"

if you dont mind me asking, how long have you been writing? just in general. it seems like a basic Q but the answers are fascinating.

-

and as a last little tid bit of me im willing to share for the night, i read most of your works in around 2 hours. what that says about me is irrelevant,, goodnight, i hope this isnt too big of a text wall to answer <3

WAAAH thank you!! Also all of that in two hours?! Oh gosh! (And you're all good! I like big text walls!)

That was more or less my thought with posting them on Ao3! I know a lot of writers do cross-post them, so I figured "hey, why not". I...might end up doing that today, since I managed to pull a muscle in my back real bad in the night and I'm laid up in bed. gfhj

Ooooh, Lost Memory Files does tend to be a fan favorite. XD I'm really happy people like it! It...actually spun out of a similar idea but with Engineer and a Captain who can't remember wormholes and looping...heh. The next part, based on my loose notes, is likely going to continue the hurt.

Cup God Chronicles was really my first attempts at writing Night, the smug bastardass. The reader being a sarcastic little shit is in part I'm a sarcastic little shit, and in part based off of @ghostf1ux. I did notice there aren't a ton of fics for him that aren't...uh. Spicy. I have a couple more fics planned for it!

Favorite ego is 100% Engineer. "The smartest dumbass" was how I saw him described at one point and I'm like "yes. THIS ONE." There's something about like...realizing that even through all the hurt on both sides of that, he still fully trusts the captain? Despite everything. Never knowing the full extent of everything the captain goes through, despite his own misconceptions...

And well, hope is very important to me. So ISWM being very centered around never giving up hope kind of hit real hard, you know?

I DIDN'T REALIZE I DIDN'T PUT PRONOUNS ANYWHERE. ghjk WHOOPS. Honestly, almost anything! (My one exception is it/it's, and that's just because it doesn't feel like me. Big love to everyone who does though! Y'all rock it!)

I'm a genderfluid menace so they're always changing anyway!

How long I've been writing...the first thing I really clearly remember writing was either HP or Yu-Gi-Oh! fanfic waaaaaaaaay back in the day. I must have been about 10 or 11? So...20+ years at this point.

If I had to think about creative writing and doing it more consistently, that's closer to about...16 years? (I had to think about when I graduated high school and I felt like I aged SIGNIFICANTLY in an instant.)

One of my English teachers really drove a lot of confidence in my writing! Shout out to Mr. Craig, who liked some of my original stuff I had written for his class so much, he still has it and checks in from time to time on what I'm up to.

He's a big reason as to why I have an 111k original fiction novel and a novella I self-published for a while. He also did a front-flip off a stage with a lightsaber for a student-written play.

#askbox and you shall receive

[lokisprettygirl]

hi i know i havent done this in a while but thought this was long over due so if you still dont mind these, here are my thoughts about tb...

the last few chapters have been nothing short of incredible, i havent interacted much, fault of my own dismay but really the chapters have been an absolute marvel. the twists and the unanswered questions to many many question linger in the air. (pardon me but for some reason i turn very formal for no utter reason)

one question is what happened with the whole bruce and mummy dearest dilema.

i remember there being a loose end concerning steve and co.

but to now talk of the latest chapter if again you dont mind this annoying

i whole heartedly agree the she was being completely irrational but the fact that she knew she did something wrong shows something. and lokis thoughts are completely valid, with everything he's been through, what they've been through, the trauma of what happened last time still haunts him. he doesnt deserve that and im sorry for that darling.

and that sameera woman ughhhhh. for god bloody fucking sakes, she never deserved a space in his mind to occupy let alone his heart. the gull of that whiny idiotic girl boils my blood as she had the shit to say the shit she did after crying to her father that he took her, which caused him to get beaten to an inch of his life. FUCK OFFF you bitchy little girl (i was very tempted to call her a spoiled rich bitch then remembered y/n)

god darling, i really am just sorry. you dont deserve any of this. please wipe the tears that has had no right to cause you any distraught. your feelings are valid but it doesnt mean you deserve to feel the pain you feel. if you cant hold your tears anymore though darling, know that im here to hold you whilst you curse out the world and i will protect you no matter what (wow that got way too personal? not sure if thats the right word)

him being cold to her is albeit a bit rude, is totally understandable. the walls theyve broken down together were coming back up in the moments he thought and did lose her. only for a second though but he did lose her in those few hours and that was just enough time build back those walls up slowly. he still hasnt forgiven her fully hasnt he? but he still loves her enough to ensure that nothing will happen to her and that i believe is real true love. a bit cliché but it is. hes still very guarded now especially with what happened but god the mysteriousness of him is... i just find it rather hot is all

and also that he trusts her enough to know that she isnt like that woman, though he was desperately holding on to that thought, despite the facts, he really loves her does he. to hold on to the belief and hope that she wont leave him despite everything, god i just love him.

why does the mean side of me think that the one he called was bruce and hes taking revenge on her for leaving him in those few moments. its petty and unlikely but my mind is a labyrinth.

i deeply apologize for psycho analyzing your work but its all truly brilliant and if i may be honest hmbomt is still in my mind. im going through withdrawals and the urge to reread it again is very strong and drew to distracting myself to reading lisik.

anyway hope you have a lovely day darling and hope im not a bother

from your lovely 😊❤️ 💜💙💚💛😊

I never mind these dear, you have no idea how happy I feel to get a feedback (the current chapter literally have 0 comments..zero, I was writing the next chapter yesterday and stopped because it got no interaction for hours and it bummed me out) that's not what motivates me to keep going. This does so never be afraid to send me your thoughts, receiving a feedback on something I wrote will never not make me happy,

I like your formal tone 😂

Ohh bruce and her mum will make an appearance soon 👀

Thank you for trying to see the both sides, if I had Loki's traumas and issues and I read that message from her with her being gone, I'd think the worst too. He was just starting to learn to accept the fact that she loves him and not what he can do for her so this definitely wasn't something he needed.

She needs to learn alot about the life and she needs to learn to love herself and she's trying her best, but she got overwhelmed and instead of confining to him she chose to act out because that's what she had done all her life. That's how her life has been like :(

And yes I think he got swept up by her pain and didn't really get to know the person behind those walls, like bad people can get hurt too, they get depressed and they get Suicidal too but at the end it's all about what they can get, it's all about them.

She didn't care about loki, she cared what he was giving her and then once she realised how tough life was outside her mini palace she couldn't survive it.

He's not taking revenge I can assure you that, he's not vengeful type of guy, he did get a phonecall and had to leave but he can't tell her the truth 👀

Thank you for such high praises for HMBOMT, that fic would be the one fic id save if all my fics were dying and I could only save one 😂

Lisik was my first born so writing style isn't the best there but I put all of my ideas in there, so I hope you will enjoy it because I loved writing that baby.

You're never a bother, thank you my lovely 😍💚

#asks #stupidthoughtsinwrting #the bodyguard

[reverais]

-

listen i didn’t know that tumblr had a tag limit and the whole bunch of my stream-of-consciousness-public-journal-entry is missing so im rewriting everything bc, of all the times, this is not one i want to forget

listen my queue is about to end and im about to drop some very emotionally-driven language formulations. the hell is language formulation even. i just dont know how to put any of this into words

tbh i feel like i havent really come to terms with everything

your girl just went through an unfortunately loss and went back to home for it. and philippines has some funeral customs i still cant wrap my mind around. tbh i feel like i haven’t mourned at all here. most grief ive experienced was from the three days it took to plan getting here

and im already anticipating the most grueling “return to normal” when i get back to canada

like i go back to work literally the day after i land (thank god its wfh tho). but i want to wail. i want to be unable to breathe bc i cried it all out. not just the loss. but the missing of home, the missing of family. again.

god i hate it. i always know its going to be like this whenever i leave home. but it just never seems to get easier. like i cried into my eye mask two days ago. we shouldve gotten drunk. thats why i didn’t cry yesterday. i was kinda elated even. i was like i should go home tomorrow (today) bc the night ended so well. not that tonight didn’t end well. but theres just a certain feeling looming. and i just want to cry it all out already. like rip the bandaid. but not here. not in front of everyone. especially not in front of ma. who also seems to be trying to choke things down.

no time ever feels enough but there’s always that thought of i need to make money, things are waiting for me. and tbh my lifestyle and comfort just isn’t for here no more. but anywhere the family is, i’ll go. no matter the mosquito and ant bites.

not to make this anymore complicated but church, man. i already know there’s something waiting for me there. and i don’t want to hear a second of it. i dont even think i can bring myself to be around people i can genuinely be myself with much less the ones who just orders and tells me what to do. that one is hard to explain as is. but ig thats just another bandaid to rip off when i finally have the guts to

“funny” things is that im this close to cursing god. after how i took in technoblades passing, he really thought to send another one my way. thats just cruel now

theyre all talking about me coming back next year december. and december is the known preferred time now bc not only is there more to do but the weather is nicer. more expensive but a more worthwhile trip. plus i have a list of what to bring back now. chocolates obv, the halloween sales ones esp. water bottles seem to be a current trend but still useful even out of trend anyway. ill try to find books for a particular cousin. and maybe speakers bc they love the bluetooth one. oreas and pringles and candies overall which are honestly cheaper here but whatever they want. the kids love toys still - i haven’t seen that kind of exciting in forever and i want to see it again. these kids got me running around and sweating. dont got their stamina and endurance for heat and itchy grass

all in all i think money goes the furthest here (as is anywhere). ill just buy experiences. ig thats movitation to stay in the deadend job for now. and to commit to pursuing something hopefully better for my future.

its late tho, i need to wake up early. good night.

#me talking in my tags again #through death

[miamigrandprix]

dts s2 e4-6

e4: -sorry seb's "says who?" at the start of episode (in response to ferrari telling him what to do) GAGGED sets the tone for the episode PERFECTLY -mattia talks about monza the way indy drivers talk abt the 500 lmao -the whole "there is no #1 driver" bit makes me think hey r there parallels to be drawn between sebchal here and alonso/hamilton in 2007? just thinkin about it -before i get to far i want to share some thoughts: when i first watched this episode with NO prior knowledge it was rly hard to follow. after i heard about the specifics of the ferrari engine controversy (cheating), for the second watch i remember this episode suddenly clicking for me! this episode would've benefitted so much from a will buxton monologue explaining the juicy details for a newish viewer. i understand that there might have been pressure from ferrari to not include those details but it is such a shame, to have such a core piece of information missing and viewers have to try to piece together the narrative without it :/ -HI LAURA WINTER -very much get the impression that seb is like the family member who notices the generational trauma and going hey maybe we should change things to stop that and gets exiled from the family instead :) those sure are the vibes -HI CHARLOTTE -im sorry the back to back "seb has a lack of confidence with the car. and charles' car is not performing" like theyre the same car but you're gonna frame it like its seb's fault but not charles's? mattia choke -at the part where they're explaining the engine controversy--i still stand by wishing they explained it better and EARLIER because i think its much needed context for the first half of the episode too -at the end of the day all i need to know is that seb clearly thought that what ferrari did was wrong, and thats all i need to know if he says so then i believe it!! -the way netflix is trying to tease like ~oh imagine all the different teams he could go to! who wouldnt want him~ is so cheeky but also i NEED to know what this was like live when yall didnt know where he was going i'm JEALOUS i wish i got to be there for it all to unfold -double ferrari dnf at monza must've been crazy to watch live too lmao -seb zigzagging through all the photographers on his bicycle. love him -seb announcing his new seat the same weekend as ferrari's 1000th is crazy ex girlfriend levels of unhinged (pos). like posting ultrasound pics the same day as your ex's wedding type of shit. no one does it like him -sorry im incapable of watching ferrari episodes without writing an essay. hope you enjoyed

ep5: -the great daniel/cyril divorce -i cant remember who said it or where i saw it but when i first got into f1 properly someone talked about how Different things might've been if there hadn't been covid--since the season was delayed, the contract was signed before reneault could have any races with daniel that year--so daniel could only make that decision based off 2019 races -the jump clearly did not work out for him but alpine also went to shit too. but if cyril hadn't left who knows. i think all of daniel's choices make sense honestly!!!! he just got very unlucky -anyway their dynamic is insane and they deserve soooo many more fic than they have!! -"it's probably a bit like being dumped by a girlfriend, but she hasn't moved out of the house yet." christian did eat with this one. unfortunately -i love cyril but him being the one to actually complain about the pink mercedes feels very..... my wife is divorcing me so i'm gonna sue my neighbors over the property line -"i hate those fucking pink cars" oh i need to gif that. i'll be watching and i'll just KNOW like yeah that needs to be in the next gifset -i cant believe i havent mentioned it yet renault colors are the BEST daniel has ever looked i miss having yellow n black on the grid. maybe thats why alpine went to shit they gave up the best color combo they could have

e7: -pierre redemption episode!!! i think this is one of the best episodes ever tbh. very cathartic movie plotline really ticks all the boxes -HI PATRICK -ok but the fact that dts NEVER covered alex's podiums w red bull after milking the shit out of his missed podiums is a hate crime to me personally -onboards going through eau rouge are scary af. -filled with rage at how christian horner chews up new drivers and spits them up (even though its all so predictable at this point. no one will ever live up to the golden boy) -i remember seeing people complain that the williams family leaving wasn't given focus in dts, if anyone has any fun video essays about that i'd love to watch! -i do take issue with will buxton saying "red bull can't admit they made a mistake (with alex)" i think red bull made a mistake with promoting ANYONE too early and expecting too much from them, but not in a pierre v alex way. neither of them were given enough time or support by red bull to flourish. and they lowkey admitted that recently lmao -but it /is/ cathartic to know that red bull have tried to get alex back since then and he doesn't need his toxic ex in his life anymore no thanks ✌️ -i just know i'll LOVE watching this race in full -they set up the suspense so well for the end of the race -and it really is. if carlos had won this race with mclaren, his first win, how different would the trajectory of his career been -ANYWAY theres something that just always gets me about men holding all their emotions in right until they cross the finish line and they finally allow themselves to feel the emotions. (recent example that made me SOB was theo when he won f2) i also love how much it clearly meant to the alphatauri guys in the garage. last time that happened was with seb for torro rosso yeah? so its clearly so so special

#watching 2 more 2day then i'll be caught up!! #dtsrewatch #she speaks

[penguin--person]

hey. hey you. I’m way too nervous to leave an actual comment on it but the rain world fic you posted recently. Fucking slaps. It’s so good. Idk how to put it into words but it’s like you make the characters so clear and and…idk but I think your fic is so cool and good. AND I DONT EVEN RAIN WORLD IS SUPPOSED TO BE. I came in through PAFL but I’ve been curious about rw for a while now, and this has made me want to check it out even more. Also, take your time on the swap au!! Stay healthy(physically AND mentally. They both matter) and don’t burn yourself out! Always remember that you are priority #1, and that your needs should always come first. Alright that’s it bye :D

AWAWA!!!! wawawwaaa!!!! explodes and diessssss ..n"!!! thanke you!!! thank you:3!!!!! your kind words are always so!!! nice and cool!!! and a pleasure to receive!!! <3333 rain world my good friend rain world... its a game for sure!!! ive been engaging less w the fandom lately, but, i still rlly like the game:3 ive been into it for. checks steam achivements. like two years now (i got into pafl not long after i think) !! rain world has these thangs tho - slugcats! :) the link leads to my rw pafl au... i have. SO Many pafl aus. you dont even Know. i havent even posted half of them. you dont know about my wandersong pafl au. you dont know about my buddy sim pafl crossover. you dont know about my pathologic pafl au (yet) (>:3). and thats because i never draw anything for them ❤️might write smth tho... ..

mm . youre rlly cool. thank you again!!! for your support!!! as a thank you, heres what ive got so far for the next chapter of swap! its not much, and mostly just first draft, but! just for you ❤️the '*' signal words/sentences im gonna italise

It’s another day. Just like always.

Half-asleep, Yura glances at the door, halfway through his breakfast. His mother’s standing there. She’s already fully dressed, while her son is still in last night’s clothes. He hasn’t had much energy as of late. It’s not like he ever has any energy, even more as of late, with the trip to the zone coming up... Not to mention everything that’s happened with Dmitry.

Yura grunts at the thought of that… *monster. 

Why didn’t he stick around? Maybe he’d have been able to convince Sergei to let him stay, or at the very least, not report him. Maybe he could have helped Dima escape. Maybe he could have seen the police coming and warned him. Maybe if he had used his brain, he’d have told Sanya to let Dima stay at his place and avoided all of this. But, no amount of *maybes is going to change the fact that he’s gone. Dead, maybe, for all they know.

The door clicks shut. He’s alone now. Anya is either at school (Is there school today? What day is it?) or, more likely, at Olya’s right now. She probably won’t be back for some time. Yura will be all by himself until then, getting swallowed up by unnecessary feelings.

… Whatever. He only knew him for a week. He shouldn’t care. His eyes shouldn’t sting at the memory of the guy. It doesn’t matter that Yura wasted so much time and money helping him out. Feeding him, giving him a place to stay, hanging out with him even though he was *such a pain in the ass.. But none of that matters now. Never will matter, because he’s gone.  The only thing that matters is that he- *it, Yura corrects himself - killed a few people in Sergei’s flat.

… Well, not really people. Not ones that matter, anyway. Three or so cops. Blew up their heads, Sanya said, that it looked like that’s what happened. Yura got the feeling she didn’t tell him more than she had to during their phone call. It was clear that she wasn’t pleased with how things turned out. Maybe she was hoping Sergei could help Dima. Let him live with them.  Find some place for him to stay, at least.

Yura can’t find the strength to not blame her for this. The rational side of him argued that she was the *least to blame, actually, she didn’t know this would happen. Most likely, she didn’t even know that Dima’s a mutant. Still. Though the final nail in his (hopefully only metaphorical) coffin was decided by Sergei, *she took Dima to him. She should have known.. but, how could she have? There was no way for her to know.

A frustrated groan escapes the teen. There’s really no need to be thinking that much about him. About *it.

He groans again, frustrated by his inability to call Dmitry what he is. It’s not like he didn’t know the truth all along, either. Again, he internally reprimands himself for getting attached. Sanya isn’t to blame here- no, she’s not the one responsible for all of this. Maybe for getting him reported so quickly, but that was always going to happen, one way or another. Better soon than later, the teen thinks. Before he let that not entirely uncomfortable feeling grow more than it already has.

Before he can ponder this any further, his phone buzzes. With one hand, he rubs his eyes, with the other he picks up his phone.

*We need to talk, a message from none other than Mr Kazarin himself. The tone of the message makes him sound like he wants to break up, Yura thinks to himself. Funny. Maybe it is one. Yura runs a hand through his hair, staring at the message. His stalker times are over before they even started, his only hope at making it in this godforsaken world, all because of that.. *thing. Nothing he can say could fix this.  

Luckily, before he can ruin Sergei’s view of him any further, another message. An invitation, if one can call it that, to meet up at an unimportant location. It’s not like he has much choice in this - so, he sends back an *ok, gets dressed in his unitidy clothes and heads out.

—

something something sergei angst

“You know what this is about.” Sergei proclaims. Yura doesn’t need to reply for him to know he’s right, but he still does, accompanied by a dry chuckle. “‘Course I do. It’s about Dimochka.”

“*Don’t call it that.”

The air is thick with tension. Despite this, Yura nonchalantly holds a cigarette out to him. Like nothing’s happened- like this is just a regular training session. With a sigh, he takes the cigarette, and with one quick motion, he takes out his lighter. Yura is fiddling with his own. 

#<333 thank you

[wander-wren]

i was trying to avoid spoilers under the assumption that i would Eventually getting around to reading tbc and asc, but im bored and i want to watch videos about them and i probably wont read them for a long time, so i went to the wiki to see whats up!

my official take on tbc is that the concepts seem very cool, but i cant say much about the execution or smaller details ofc. ashfur being the imposter feels like a really good choice, i dont know if thats controversial, i'm like 3 years late to all this lmao but i thought i saw some posts about him not making sense.

i mean, his connection to squilf and bramblestar alone...plus, yeah, he wasn't super into the code in life, but all of the events leading to his death WERE caused by codebreaking, and with leafpool especially going to starclan after inadvertently contributing to Ruining His Life, he might get mad about it? i kinda get it. also the whole concept of him possessing ashfur is so so horrifying and sad to me and has anyone written fic about this from squilf's pov???

also, ALSO, i skimmed a light in the mist plot summary bc i was still bored but it seemed cool. i dont remember if people were mad about that when i came out, just that it was Everywhere. kudos to the erins for actually carrying a plot through six books instead of splitting it in half for the first time since, like, tpb. po3 and oots dont count bc they didnt Have a plot.

but i was trying to think about why the new gen (arcs 6-8) arent as popular/getting much attention and why the fandom is slowly falling off post-oots. which, there are a lot of reasons, but this is one of the main ones i haven't seen anyone discuss yet (tbf, again, i was avoiding spoilers until literally today, so).

like, think about the new prophecy, power of three, and omen of the stars. they all happen VERY close together and are deeply intertwined. lionblaze and jayfeather even get to be pov characters for 2 arcs instead of one! and no pov characters die! except flametail but eh!

then we get to avos. we lose needletail, what, three books in? then violetshine literally becomes a mom to one of the broken code protags, and, again, only reading plot summaries, but she Never Came Up. neither did twigbranch. alderheart did some, mostly by virtue of being a medicine cat and therefore important to the plot.

and now, in the broken code, we've lost bristlefrost. i havent gotten to a starless clan yet, that's next, but i know flamepaw/nightheart is sparkpelt's kid, and sunbeam and frostpaw are the kids of random side characters (at least, they didnt stand out to me?). i'm not saying it's inherently bad that they're not connected to the previous protags (you could argue its a positive for sure), but it's contributing to this feeling of disconnection in the new books, i think.

i DONT think we should keep doing firekin as protags. i am perfectly happy putting that line to rest. but we introduced twig and violet and needletail, those are brand new bloodlines and focusing on them instead would be really really cool.

what you did the first time worked, erins! do that again! like. they had the opportunity to decimate the clans in oots and essentially start with a clean slate for avos/tbc/asc, but they chickened out. changes to the code shouldve been FIRST. new mains unrelated to firestar shouldve been FIRST.

actually, avos did have that potential. that was Good and Correct except for the part where there were no significant culture changes and too many tnp-era cats are still around. but like, okay, firekin! we like firekin! alderheart is my BOY. he is familiar, or related to familiarity. GOOD. he brings in needletail, twigbranch, and violetshine, so they feel connected to familiarity too, rather than just "heres some kids of cats you've never heard of. care about them."

and then they just. gave us bristlefrost and shadowsight. more firekin, woo. forget about twig and violet, oh and needletail is dead btw. i'm sure everyone has talked and talked about the tragedy of finally getting a she-cat who doesnt want kits but it's TWIGBRANCH. ugh.

anyway, yeah. all the protagonists for the first four arcs were interconnected and important to each other and i'm not getting that at all with the new arcs and i think thats why its hard for me and other fans to like, care.

plus also firestar and other fan favorites died and the prequels immediately came out and stalled the continuity for a while at just the right moment when a lot of fans were poised to lose interest. and then they did. and here we are.

this isn't what i meant to make a post on but i did! woo

#warrior cats #wren wrambles #avos #tbc #i was windering if i wanted to try to incorporate tbc into my rewrite #since i already know i want to do a version of avos #but haha no #avos is already hard bc of how i'm changing oots. tbc requires a specific version of the clans that just wont exist by the time i get there #which is cool. less work for me #i do appreciate the erins doing cool stuff we havent seen before tho re ghost fights and all that. its interesting #but a lot of the characters im just like. okay. and whyyy should i careee who you are #even bristlefrost is the kid of like #one of my all time faves. and yet. shes not really written like ivypool's kid that i can see? shes just kinda. bristlefrost. idk i didnt #read the books lmao #sighhhhhh

[rrxnjun]

BEST MOTIVATION!!🥳 i'm glad u are handling things better!! LMAO THE JIHOON BRAINROT HIT U HARD but tbh i'm very good with him being the main character lmao and aaa thank u for telling me!! hope u manage to set it up🥹

aaa those are amazing🤌 i wish i was a proper kpop stan just to experience them fully💔 aa only listen to them when u have the time and u are in the mood for it!!! i will be here if u want to give a review about them later and not immediately!! it's so hard to get it right f with kpop songs for no reason😭 my friend still surprises me to this day with what kind of songs she likes and i know her music taste very well but some how i still manage to mess it up😭 TBH I WOULD BE DOWN FOR SONG RECOMMENDATIONS FROM CIX CUZ I NEVER LISTENED TO THEM!! the boyz english line is just too funny imo😭

OMG GOOD JOB!!!🥳🥳 GO OFF STEM GIRLIE!!! oh my lord i'm not surprised then that it's very difficult😭 u are very smart for even just getting into it!!! i will probably take it very badly cuz i already have issues in high school so whatever🥱 buuut i'm sure i will get through it somehow lmao if i even get in😙✌️ aaaa thank uuu so much i really appreciate u and love talking with u!!🥹🥹💕💓💓 (liebestraum anon💞💖)

girl im struggling. tried creating the side blog but i for the love of god cant come up with a proper url 😭😭😭😭 why did i choose a bias w the most unurlable name ffs everything looks terrible. i also havent been writing as much lately i think im having writers block which is really :// so lets pray it goes away soon

i added all the songs u recommended into a seperate playlist and tried listening to them the other day but then i got unreasonably angry at something so i just switched to my angry playlist 😃👍 howEVER i managed to get through the thrill ride ep and so far the title track was my fav,, i didnt find myself drawn to the other songs but that might honestly be bc of my shitty mood that day so im gonna give it a relisten and then gather my thoughts 😌😌 kpop is so diverse and so different than anything else so getting the songs right is always so difficult AHAHA

CIX RECS SAY LESS i actually havent heard their whole discography yet so take it as u will but. u might know movie star, numb or jungle (both of which fucking slap to this day,, their songs age like fine wine) oR cinema thats one of my favs from them!!!! their whole debut ep is very good but esp. like it that way and what you wanted are SOSOSO good oh lord. also 458 and without you (istg that song is one of the most beautiful kpop songs imo) are very very good 😌 hope u like at least some SJSJDKSK let me know if u do (no pressure to listen to any of these tho!!)

good luck w getting into uni im sure u can get in!! 😌😌 hs unfortunately cant prepare u for the shift (at least in slovakia) so it will definitely be something u need to get used to but trust me at uni nobody rlly cares abt grades anymore 😭😭 after a while u lose energy for that LMAO the only thing needed is passing 👍👍👍 rooting for you!!

it was nice hearing from you 💕 hope u have a nice weekend/the next week mwah!!

#and sorry for the late reply i was mentally unavailable 😵 #💌ask #liebestraum anon

[indistinct-office]

tw // uh nsfw mentions and suicide and general mental illness stuff idk

-

i love fukuzawa sm but idk if id rather him mentor me or fuck me

i think i should die to be honest im sad dude ill cry i wonder if i have a dissasociativive disorder like. depersonalisation seems concerningly familiar well like it makes sense of course derealisation and deperasalisation

idk how to spell but they make so much sense. on the other hand one must consider that i am evil and pathetic and dont deserve an explanation for my feelings nope im jsut bad and should die. but apart from that

im tired man. im very tired i want to cry. i also. cant seem to move



so idk if i have dpdr or im just tired or have executive dysfunction everythings very confusing im trying

why

and is it unreality or is it me philosophising or

whats going on i know no one else knows i dont i feel like i have never been a person i feel like a mirror more than anything i dont know and feelings are so complicated i want to cry and i dont understand whats going on and im so sick of myself but i cant seem to stop and everything i say feels like a lie and i cant remember anything i feel like im fading also how is it almost 11pm

i feel like i dont have any agency and

like if someone has moved the content of this image way to far off the edge

and i dont know if the whole "i dont feel like a person" thing is dpdr or succh strognly engrained self loathing or a combination of both or me making excuses for being lazy or i dont know and it always has always felt like there are too many people in my head. whcih sounds yk. not great. and it isnt but then what if ive convinced myself that i have dpdr/whatever because i just want a label and something solid or i dont know but no i think i do and who is i anyway who am i referring to ive been through this so many times before and nothing changes nothing has every changed and nothing will help

and i know it sounds like im having a panic attack because i am but this is how it feels all the time

oh

i used to joke to myself that my brain was either so full of thoughts it hurts or completely empty and full of fog but that might be dpdr

like, anxiety/trauma or dissacociative

oh no

but idk i havent really had an trauma what if im making this up just because i want my friend to know whats wrong with me and me to get better and have a nice little storyline and get better

it feels like whenever im lucid im in pain

ha. well. thats a thing now i guess

im so tired of this. but its all good its fine. i cant even self harm properly

what if the reason im so anxious all the time is because im scared of why im doing something

it feels like im comingn to some big resolution but what if im just convincing myself of that so i can feel good but everything will stay the same? there are dried tears on my laptop and they look like stains of cum

oh no i think i might be dpdr. like. when /that/ happened. i distracted msyelf and felt "usual" and then i was reminded of it and it hurted so much

oh no oh fuck what

well. theres that i guess

yeah no im pretty sure i have uh depersonalisation/derealisation disorder. it makes a lot of sense. at last the puzzle of the self is completed and im better and everything is fine /s

no wonder i relate to will wood and jreg so much.

there is now the issue of

a) who the fuck am i

b) what the fuck do i do now

uh i need help i think ( yeah no shit )

it really does feel like there are hundreds of people living up in my brain

im scared about what i should do next.

i have to go to london tomorrow

no wonder i find it so hard to explain my thinking process and emotions. of course. it makes sense now

im posting this so theres some external record of what happened today. but this is basically a diary entry so yknow.

#depersonalisation and derealisation

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

watching a bit of that scene start of 12x5 where shes looking for the master and wow it just really sank in for me how different of a companion experience the fam had. she says she goes home [dramatic pause] on her own and yaz asks “why? why not with us?”

rose: first date martha: Weird Melodramatic Bullshit on her second trip donna: first meeting amy: ...i dont...actually remember oh im disappointing myself here. but by episode two she knows hes so very old and so very kind and the very very last of his kind and he cant stand and watch children cry clara: we’ve got that whole death in heaven/last christmas fiasco bill: “bill, missy, the Other Last Of The Time Lords”

they dont know!! they dont know what Home means!! this has been like the idk the fucking mud we stand on for all new who!! and They Dont Know

it’s- it’s WILD putting myself in their shoes their idea of The Doctor is so vastly different from any other new who companion. it really really is. like if they meet a previous regeneration sure they’ll recognise the Doctorness. but like, different trauma. it’s really weird

like, for all previous new who companions the doctor is like, their Friend (you know, special Friend status it’s always a bit Different, how do you explain your relationship with the doctor as a companion well youknow, theyre your Friend, anyway) their Friend who is Lonely and Hurt and Shouldnt Travel Alone, and who has such impressive admirable ideals and needs someone to keep them to them, appreciates the people who can, appreciates the people who share them. and theyre a bit mysterious sure but information will trickle out, when it’s relevant, such a long life you wouldnt expect them to share it all at once

to the fam the doctor is more like, their Friend who likes her privacy, who keeps her doors closed and her distance, but who loves showing you around the universe. she appreciates your input the way a tour guide appreciates an engaged audience, but you dont touch the things youre not supposed to touch. you leave that to the professionals. she’ll show you around. dont go poke at things yourself and get in trouble.

other new who companions would see the doctor be stupid and smack them over the head verbally, physically, spiritually, whatever way necessary to say “dont be fucking stupid”. you dont go around smacking your tour guide. there are boundaries.

she doesnt tell them about her life and they cant ask more than is polite. they cant sit down on an alien planet and go “im not moving until you talk to me properly”. like, yaz probably can. i think during s12 it’s iffy and it’s complicated by the fact that the doctor is Not Okay which also affects the boundaries in yet another direction. but s11 they really couldnt do that.

they dont know how old she is. it never comes up. for all they know she looks her age. they dont know why she looks human. they dont know where she got the tardis from. they couldnt do what amy did in the beast below because they knew the doctor so well. they couldnt do what donna did in fires of pompeii and put their hands on the button. they couldnt do what clara did in death in heaven and bluff their way out of getting shot by cyberman by rattling of the doctor’s biography. not through any fault of their own, the fam couldnt do Any of that.

and it’s not like thats new information to me, some of my first posts on here were about passenger vs companion status and what the fam knows but i guess it just Hit me suddenly? how different their view of the doctor is compared to previous new who companions.

“why? why not with us?”

are we not friends enough yet that you could let us into your life a bit more? are we not friends enough yet that we’re allowed to know where youre from?

she DISAPPEARS. they have no idea where to. im assuming during s11 they were together most of the time? the fam dont seem to get home much at least. can we assume she didnt just disappear then sometimes? if she did it wouldve been rarer i think. i cant honestly say that i cant see her do it. once every couple of weeks. just go somewhere quiet and stare into space and come back barely missed and ready to go another few weeks. she’d probably have very plausible reasons. like 10 and donna in midnight. you go lounge around by the pool im going on this tour. probably enough opportunities for stuff like that where she could without suspicion disappear for a few hours.

but then youre getting an idea. youre getting an idea of a life of a person who seems like they dont have much going on except for what you share. theyre with you basically all the time. they dont mention any other attachments (ha funny i hurt myself), friends, family, home. and they mention enough other things that the white noise kinda fills all the gaps. you dont notice it’s all popcorn until Some Guy shows up, the One attachment she apparently does have, and hes like a whole Evil Guy, and he tries to kill you all. and then you realise wait what the fuck we dont know anything

and then they ask “why not with us?” and i realise, wait what the fuck they dont know anything

#me: ive got an hour and a half before i have to go to bed im gonna work on my video #me instead: writes this post bc a thought had can not be a thought unshared i guess #i havent thought this next thought through very much but i think thats also why they would never like call the doctor a timelord #even after they know #bc what do they know really? nothing. just a word #but like as a description #or if i were writing their pov #the doctor woudl never be a timelord to them #not in their words #im not sure she would even be alien to them #most of the time #maybe in certain moments #certain slightly disorienting but mostly fleeting moments #mostly shes just. the doctor #i dont think she feels that alien to them #i also dont think the doctor feels Constantly alien to other companions but i think it's a more present undercurrent #when you know theyre way older than they look and when you know regneration at least Is A Thing #that just starts you off on another foot you know? #anyway #many words little news what else is new #companions

[clambuoyance]

Deltarune Ch 3 Theory (Spoilers!)

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This will be sort of a ramble, and I’ll do my best to include screenshots, but this is my personal theory and thoughts on what’s happening and where Ch 3 is headed. Most of this stuff has probably been said by others, so this is mostly for me to come back to!

1. Kris

So there are a lot of moments that seems to hint to Kris’ homelife and I’ll just sort of go through them here. 

When you look through the room Queen trapped you in, there’s a calendar with a vacation date circled from a search query about when college has summer break. Given how close Asriel and Kris seem to be, I’m pretty sure Kris is really anxious to see Asriel and have his support back. 

Because Toriel and Asgore seem to have divorced fairly recently? Or at the very least, I think it’s still definitely taking a toll on Kris, and Asriel leaving does NOT help at all. It makes me wonder if there’s more to him leaving for college. 

There’s another curious thing where if you  decide to look through Asriel’s room, Kris shuts their eyes and seems to not want to see what’s inside, despite what the Player might want. Why? Afraid of what they’ll see? What could Asriel possibly be searching for that Kris would be afraid of the truth?

I think some incident happened in the past, one that’s related to the Dreemurr and the Holiday family growing apart, Noelle’s sister “Dess”, and Asgore apparently being removed from the police force. (If maybe he was powerless or cowardly to do something, this could have led to a divorce and Asriel leaving? I’m not sure, but I think Dess has died or its related tot he incident, and Asriel seemed close with them too so I’m sure it was also hard on him.)

(i didnt take a screenshot of the newsclipping with this info but ill put it here later lol)

Circling back to Kris, there’s several details that hint to Kris’ mindset, and basically, I think Kris doesn’t want to grow up because when you grow up you grow apart and don’t live out fun fantasies anymore. Maybe.

If you go to the flyer in the librarby,  and read the one about the ICE-E event that says “Where teens can still be Kids!” Kris is relieved, for some reason. Probably because they’re glad to hear they still technically count as a kid. 

Not directly related but if you go up to the upperright room and read the book about humans, Kris quickly shuts it. Given the similarities and hints to Chara from Undertale, it seems like Kris wanted to get away from other humans or humanity in general. Which also aligns maybe with Kris being fearful of the bunker. I really don’t know what to make it past this though. Crack theory was that the world of Undertale was just a Dark World Kris made as a kid or something. Or that when “Chara” fell, it was a fall similar to how Kris and Susie fall when entering a Dark World. Lmao probably unrelated though.

2. Dark Worlds and Escapism

The Dark Worlds seem to function as some sort of escapism, and it’s interesting that they’re all based on real life things. In Chapter 1, the Dark World was based on the classrooms various toys like checkers, chess, cards, dolls,etc. In Chapter 2, it seems even more so with Noelle. Queen actually wants the best for Noelle and is very nosy and always chasing after her, in contrast to Noelle’s real mom who is always busy being a mayor. After all, Queen does know how sad Noelle’s search history probably is. (Mainly from this post!)

(screenshots to be added lol)

Kris probably feels the same way, as both Noelle and Kris grew up together and seem to be suffering from dysfunctional families or some sort of drama.

And Queen directly says in the boss fight with Berdly that the internet and the screens provide comfort for many people, and she is well-intentioned in wanting to help make people happy. Maybe for Kris it’s video games or roleplaying or toys or silly things, kind of like how many people in the real world do similar things. I wonder if the next chapters will each focus on a different character and other forms of escapism or storytelling. 

3. The Knight

So at the end of Chapter 2, Kris rips out the Player Soul and slashes the tires to Toriel’s car. Then later Susie talks about how cool it would be if they could bring Ralsei and Lancer and everyone to their world and hang out with them. Then Kris takes the Player out once again and pulls out a knife, fills the “Blade” with their “Will”, aka Determination, and creates a new dark fountain that encompasses their whole home (and maybe even the whole town). 

(screenshot laterrrr)

It seems that the tires were to ensure Toriel stays inside the house though, so maybe it’s just the house. If that’s the case, and Kris really is the knight, I think Kris wants to envision a better home where things are better. Escapism right inside your own home.

If it’s the whole town, then maybe Kris already had Susie’s idea and really is going to take everyone in a new Dark World so everyone can be together. That or Susie inadvertently gave Kris the idea..it makes me wonder if we’ll see Toriel in her outfit from Undertale, or something like that. The other reason I could see it being a town-wide thing is because now Kris has the knowledge of the Roaring (thanks to Ralsei).  I’m not too sure what their stance would be, but maybe they see a benefit to it?

After creating a fountain, a smile flashes on the tv, so I think the next chapter will be television based and feature a tv villain (though it does look like flowey...). Again, i wonder if each chapter will be some form of escape for some people. or maybe it’ll be a different theme.

Also, I just want to add that I really don’t see Kris as malicious or doing thing for a sinister reason. Or maybe it’s still fucked up and selfish, but not the evil people imagine. If you do the snowgrave route, Noelle doesn’t even recognize it as Kris’ voice. The sinister voice in that route seems to be the Player rather, being cruel and making Noelle make these traumatizing choices. Which is why I wonder if Kris is the Knight, or if it’s a red herring. Not sure. 

4. ANYWAYS

There’s a lot to unpack. Too much to unpack, like there’s a whole thing I could say about Big Shot and Jevil and Gaster. The way maybe Kris also knows the world is just a game (maybe thats why they hate humans?? were just like go puppet go lol). But i have no idea so this was just focused on Kris mostly, and Maybe i’ll talk more but I finished the game a few hours ago and I just had to get these thoughts out even if others probably already figured it out or think its obvious. It’s just really cool! Again, most of this comes from this theory, cus i havent looked much at others (YET) since i just finished today. Anyways, FUN GAME! 

If anyone has useful screenshots or whatever please feel free to add lol

#long post #oops #deltarune #deltarune spoilers #undertale #kris dreemurr #deltarune theory #sort of not really just me rambling

[kissingnamjoon]

Forgotten | Min Yoongi x Reader (Part 1)

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader 

Genre: Its angst. did u rly expect anything else from me?

Summary:  “I don’t care about the clothes, Yoongi! I just wanted to see you! We did not have to set up these reservations for a fancy restaurant, I told you that! This was your idea! Why aren’t you listening to what I’m saying?” You spoke boldly into the phone. You knew Yoongi was stubborn and not one to let up easily, so you anticipated his response. “Because you’re not fucking saying anything worth listening too.” And with that, the phone clicked, and he hung up.

A/N: Hi I’m back after what seems like forever. Did you guys miss me? kadljflsjflks. Also, I really tried focusing on the readers perspective in this part, the next part will focus more on Yoongi’s. I’m hoping you guys like this bc I havent written in a while and I might be a little rusty. Okay. THATS ALL. ENJOY. FEEDBACK PLS

Your back ached tremendously as you walked barefoot across the concrete. Expensive heels in your hand, that you bought specifically for tonight. Tear’s slowly flowing down your puffy cheeks, too wrapped up in your own thoughts to care what any by passers thought. You knew there was a cheapy motel down the street tonight, and that is where your feet started taking you. There was no way you were going home to Yoongi. Not after the way he spoke to you and made you feel. What were you ever suppose to say to him? You felt embarrassed that you were so excited for tonight, thinking about it all day and dolling yourself up, and he didn’t even give you the time of his day. Fuck, if he would even be home. He made it abundantly clear that he did not want to see you, or at least that is what he made you feel.

------

“Yoongi……where are you?” Your soft voice came through the phone. You were surprised he even picked up this time. It only took 4 text messages and 3 phone calls for him to answer. You normally would not call or text him so excessively, but tonight was supposed to be different. You thought, no, you KNEW he would make it to your date tonight. He promised you. Your guy’s relationship had been going through a rough patch, with Yoongi being consumed by work and BTS. You knew his job was demanding, but all you asked for was a little bit of his time. Hell, this date was not even your idea. It was HIS. He was determined to make up his recent neglect to you, and you were more than content to just settle on the couch for a movie night with him. But Yoongi thought you deserved more than that.

However, his actions did not match his thoughts. He did not make you feel like you deserved anything from him. As a matter of fact, right now, you felt the complete opposite.

You thought maybe he had just run into some traffic after it was 10 minutes past 8. You were very naïve and hopefully, and the thought of him standing you up or forgetting honestly did not cross your mind. Tonight, was going to be different. But then 10 minutes turned into 15 minutes. 25 minutes. 45 minutes. An hour. You started to feel nervous that tonight was going to be like the last several months. It would only be validation that whatever else was going on in Yoongi’s life, whether it be work or personal, was always going to take priority over you. When did your relationship become like this? When did Yoongi stop showing you he loved you? When did you stopped feeling loved? When did your relationship with Yoongi become so god damn ISOLATING and LONELY?

“What are you talking about? I’m at the studio.” Yoongi said. And with that, feelings of humiliation and sadness filled your veins as your heart pumped through your body. Of course, tonight was not going to be different. It had not been different for the last 2 months. But this time you had hope because Yoongi planned all this. Not you. Yoongi had always been a man of his word, especially when it came to you. Had your relationship come down to this? Did your relationship hold such unimportance that a simple promise really meant nothing to him anymore?

“What about….tonight? You know? The date you set up for us….” You do not know why you felt nervous responding back to him. Maybe it was because you knew he was at the studio, most likely working. But why should you feel bad? He was not supposed to be working. He was supposed to be with you. “Oh. That. Yah, we can just reschedule it.” Yoongi said calmy, with no concern or panic that he forgot, lacing his voice. Your heart just kept shattering, as you suddenly felt unimportant in Yoongi’s life. Something that he could just push to the back burner and forget about like it was nothing. Maybe you were nothing to him anymore. “B-but….Tonight was supposed to be different Yoongi. I was really looking forward to seeing you. I just want to see you.” Your lips started trembling, but you swore to yourself you would not let Yoongi know you were on the verge of tears. Besides, would he even care if he knew that he had caused the tears making their appearance in your eyes?

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you, Y/N. I got caught up in the studio. We can reschedule for the weekend.” Why was he being so cold towards you right now? This was not the Yoongi that you knew. The Yoongi that loved you. Sure, on the outside Yoongi seemed cold and distant, but with you, he was so much different. He was soft. He was deep. He was passionate and incredibly detailed orientated. He cared about you. Where was that Yoongi? “But Yoongi…. You planned this. I even bought a new outfit to wear for you and everything.”

Yoongi was getting annoyed. He already told you that you guys could go on the weekend. What weren’t you understanding? He snapped. “Well fuck, Y/N! I will repay you for the clothes and whatever the fuck else you bought for tonight. I told you we could reschedule for this weekend. Is it difficult for you to understand?!” He snapped through the phone. Why was he being so mean to you right now? All you wanted to do was see Yoongi? Were you such a selfish person for wanting to see your boyfriend, even if just for a few minutes? “I don’t care about the clothes, Yoongi! I just wanted to see you! We did not have to set up these reservations for a fancy restaurant, I told you that! This was your idea! Why aren’t you listening to what I’m saying?” You spoke boldly into the phone. You knew Yoongi was stubborn and not one to let up easily, so you anticipated his response. “Because you’re not fucking saying anything worth listening too.” And with that, the phone clicked, and he hung up.

-----

You were so confused. What had just happened? Did you do something to Yoongi you were not aware about, why was he so angry at you? The motel you were heading to was probably gross and dirty, but you did not even care. You had spent so much time getting ready for your date with Yoongi, and then the argument, if you could even call it that. You were exhausted and you just wanted to pass out and forget about what happened with Yoongi. You wanted to forget about Yoongi. Just like he had forgotten about you.

-----

If you liked this fic, please feel free to buy me a kofi! ❤

#bts fics #bts army #bts #bts angst #min yoongi #yoongi #yoongi imagine #min yoongi angst #angst #fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts reactions #bts imagines #yoongi x reader #yoongi fluff #bts fluff #bts smut

[strawberrybabydog]

explanation why ask box was closed under cut

post-writing comment: now that im reading all of this i think i will close it again actually. sorry for the false hope LOL

TLDR, i have an unhealthy relationship with the blog. i developed OCD & an addiction over it and i need to Not Do That, among other reasons

my week and a half without this blog was peaceful but the main reason it was closed is because i had a Moment one night & during the Moment i realized that my words are having significant impact on delusional spaces online

its fun and cool to have a popular blog, but it’s terrifying to have that much pressure, even if i know im doing the right thing. im already seeing a lot of the internet’s typical unforgiveness when i’ve made mistakes in the past, but as my blog grows more there wil only be more of that, with the opposite side taking my word as holy. neither of which i want obviously LOL. that paired with my notice of many people misinterpreting the things i’m saying, not totally listening to my words, etc etc - communication issues - its much worse!

i dont think it really matters how much i encourage yall to do your own research, i know full well it won’t happen (/npa) and i also dont want to try to force anyone into reading academic papers, the academic jargon is sometimes even hard to get through for me and im privileged enough to have minimal trouble with reading

i just fear when new research emerges in the next few years some of the posts here (which although are currently up to date/correct based on current research) will age poorly, even though when new research emerges i will do my best to debunk my old posts and other misinformation. this is a hypothetical, i guess its possible that everything i say here is correct, but thats also not likely because thats just The Way Things Are. i just dont think im prepared for the harassment which comes with “well, you said THIS two years ago, and i see you have not deleted this specific post which i have severely misinterpreted, because you obviously still fully agree with it and not because you forgot it existed. care to explain yourself.” very annoying and i just dont want to deal with it

i also put a lot of Myself into this blog and many of the posts i make. i’m sure although many of you havent seen me in real life, if you lined my body up with other people you’d easily be able to pick me out regardless just based on my physical mannerisms and clothing. i view this blog as an extension of myself when in Reality that’s not at all what this has to be, im just unsure of how to pull back really

i feel a very strong responsibility to this blog, i feel like i owe everyone who interacts with it something. which is also obviously not very cool. basically TLDR i have an unhealthy relationship with this blog, partially by fault of myself and partially by fault of the internet just being the internet. i just may not be cut out to emotionally handle that in the end which will result in my askbox being closed indefinitely, should i make that decision

aaand to top it all off i became extremely OCD about checking the inbox. seeing the little notification that someone asked me something is a good source of dopemine but addictive and - when i say i developed OCD over it, im not using hyperbole i mean it very literally. i still get dopemine to see the little notification! but it’s not really worth the obsession-compulsion of refreshing my tumblr every 2 minutes for hours every day, constantly having tumblr open incase i got a message, etc. since closing the ask box my OCD in reference to other things i normally have OC-intrusive thoughts with has also gotten better

it wasnt closed because i got a specific rude anonymous message i didnt like or anything. like i said i just had an episode and had some post-episode clarity over things i’d been stressed out about for months. quite a few posts from my blog disappeared because i was fighting the urge to not wipe the entire blog mid-episode so i just settled on some posts which were argumentative/discoursey/too personal

#personal #pupdates