#i have so much to do that I haven't done in months

[purple-obsidian]

miscommunication; option 2 (18+, dick grayson x fem titan reader)

⭓ !PLEASE READ! this is part of a choose-your-ending story. it will not make sense unless you start from here.

"No! Dick, please!" You stand from your chair, cloth napkin falling to the floor, watching him stalk past you towards the exit of the restaurant, anxiety filling your stomach with dread. "You're not even going to let me explain?" You call after him, ignoring the weird looks you're getting from the other guests enjoying their food.

Not about to let him leave things like this, you rush after him, finding him waiting at the valet stand outside. "Dick! You're seriously going to just walk away like that? What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me?" He sounds taken aback, crossing his arms and glaring at you. "What about you? What's your problem, huh? You really think I would take you somewhere as nice as this, if all I wanted to do was get into your pants? You really think that low of me?"

A loud crash of thunder echoes against the tall buildings surrounding you, but neither of you pay any mind to it, even as a light drizzle of rain begins to fall. The valet, obviously uncomfortable with the exchange that's happening, slips away to retrieve Dick's car.

"No! That's not what I- I didn't even-"

"This was a mistake. I never should have asked you-"

"DICK GRAYSON!" You shout, unable to hold back your own anger now. "You are going to shut the fuck up and let me speak, or I swear I'll-"

"You'll what?" His tone is low, and he uncrosses his arms, hands clenched into fists at his side.

You close your mouth, seething in anger at being interrupted yet again. You feel the tears coming. You can't help it. You cry when you're angry. It's something you hate about yourself, and the last thing you want to do is cry in front of him. Luckily, the rain that's slowly starting to fall helps mask it just a little.

"I didn't realize this was a date!" You finally shout, hands shaking with how worked up he has you.

Dick scoffs, looking you up and down. "What the hell is wrong with you? Are trying to backpedal now, or something? I very clearly asked you out, we have the texts to prove it."

You take a deep breathe before speaking. "I thought you were asking me to work. You've done it before, haven't you? Just last month, you texted me, last minute, asking me to help you tail that arms dealer. I thought this was something like that."

Dick's angry expression morphs to one of confusion, now second-guessing himself. "Are you being for real?"

"Yes!"

More thunder. A loud clash, and the rainfall grows heavier, slowly soaking both of you as you glower angrily at one another.

Dick finally pulls you aside so you're both standing under the awning of the Italian restaurant, safe from the oncoming downpour. He feels something hard strapped to your upper arm when he does so. "What's this?" He asks, feeling the object through the wet fabric of your sweater.

"What do you think it is? A knife." You explain, hoping he's finally starting to believe you. "I told you. I thought this was Titan's business. You didn't tell me what we were getting into, so I came prepared." Shrugging away his hand, you reach down to pull the damp garment off over your head. You're left in just your tank top now, giving Dick full view of the weapons you had concealed, along with the comm wire you two and the other titans will wear on missions.

Any trace of anger left on his face is gone. He opens his mouth to speak, stammering a little. "You mean.. but I thought… my texts…" He looks mortified. Dick isn't a man that finds himself speechless very often, but now is one of those times.

A long exhale escapes your lips, releasing a breath you didn't realize you were holding. You glance around you, and wring out the excess water from your sweater a little before pulling it back over your head, not wanting your knives to draw too much attention. "Do you understand now? I fucked up, okay? I should have clarified with you, I misunderstood what you were asking me. That's my fault. But I did not agree to this with the intention of fucking you all night. I promise."

"Fuck." Dick runs his fingers through his shaggy hair, which was styled neatly earlier but is now wet and messy from the rain. He looks at you and says your name in an apologetic tone. "I really just made a fool of myself, didn't I?"

"Yeah, no shit." You cross your arms over your stomach, rubbing your hand up and down your arm to fight off a chill. "Dick, you are one of the most amazing people I've ever met. I care about you. You're a great leader, and an even better friend. I could never just see you as someone to hook up with. Even if…" You lose your confidence at that last sentence, trailing off a little, hesitating to finish the thought.

"Even if what?" He takes a step closer to you, his hand resting on your shoulder. His eyes search yours, looking you over, trying to read you.

You swallow the lump in your throat, and reply, "Even if you're, like, the hottest guy I've ever seen." You look off to the side, avoiding the intensity of his gaze.

Finally, a smirk appears on his lips. "So… you do think I'm hot?" His embarrassment would surely be relieved somewhat, if he could confirm you did reciprocate some of his feelings.

"Objectively, yes. But I promise, that isn't what's most important to me." You see the valet arriving in Dicks car. Looking towards the bright blue vehicle, then to the dazzling eyes in front of you sporting the same hue, you try and find the right words to express what you feel. "The last thing I want to do is to make you feel objectified. Please, Dick, could we just start over? I'd love to continue our date, now that I know it is a date."

Guilt is tugging at his heart. Your sincere words have diffusing any remaining doubt or irritation that may have been lingering in the back of his mind. The hand that is on your shoulder snakes up to tangle in your hair, close to the base of your skull. "I'd like that." His tone is softer now that he's closer to you. "And I'm sorry, too."

"You don't have to apolo-"

Dick cuts you off, yet again. But not with words. This time, it's with a kiss. You freeze for a moment, not expecting the forward affection after how upset he was with the idea of you just wanting him for his body. But it only takes a second before you relax into him, hands snaking around his broad frame, relishing the feeling of his strong arms pulling you tight against him. His body heat is welcoming, but even more so are his lips, eager and assertive against your own.

The valet exits the flashy car once its parked in the loading zone. He retrieves an umbrella, but stops short when he sees the couple that were yelling at each other just a few minutes ago, now making out, soaking wet, zero regard for who's watching. He looks to Dick, then behind him to the running vehicle, unsure of what to do next.

"Sir? Excuse me, sir? Your car is ready!"

Dick ignores him. And so do you. His kisses are quelling the guilt and frustration you feel towards yourself. Its like he's pouring his love and reassurance into you with every movement of his tongue, every brush of his lips against your own. You never imagined that Dick Greyson, son of Batman, leader of the Titans, former Robin, the one and only Nightwing, would be clutching you and kissing you so passionately in a place so public. The valet continues to awkwardly try to get his attention, but Dick doesn't care. His focus is on you, and he doesn't intend on stopping until he's made this right.

⭓ go back ⭓ masterlist ⭓

what ending did you choose first? let me know here, or leave a like/comment.

don’t steal my work. don’t repost it somewhere, upload it to another site, use it to train ai, or claim it as your own.

#purple-obsidian #choose your ending

[hippiegoth97]

Eddie Munson One-Shots Master List

Collage by me :)

Banner by @cafekitsune

Current Posts

Be Kind, Rewind (Female Reader)

Any Way You Want It (Female Reader)

Cum On Feel the Noize (Female Reader)

Dr. Feelgood (Female Reader)

Last Christmas (Female Reader) Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3

Roam Pt. 2 (Female Reader)

Girl On Film (Female Reader)

Divider by @strangergraphics

Upcoming Posts

She-Bop (Female Reader)

Love Bites (Female Reader)

Sweet Dreams are Made of This (Female Reader)

Smalltown Boy (Male Reader)

Heat of the Moment (Female Reader)

Girls, Girls, Girls (Female Reader, M/F/F Threesome)

Master of Puppets (Female Reader)

You Couldn't Ignore Me if You Tried (Female Reader)

Wild and Untamed Things (Steddie x Female Reader) Pt.1, Pt.2, Pt.3

Roam Pt.1 (Female Reader)

Where is My Mind? (Female Reader)

I Want to Know What Love Is (Female Reader)

Ballcrusher (Female Reader)

Relax (Male Reader)

Thriller (Female Reader)

Time of The Season (Female Reader)

The Killing Moon (Female Reader)

Rainbow in the Dark (Male Reader)

Object of My Desire (Female Reader)

I Melt With You (Female Reader)

I Wanna Be Your Lover (Female Reader)

Beautiful Boy, Darling Boy (Trans FTM Reader)

Renegade (Female Reader)

Future Request Prompts

These are some leftover ideas from my wattpad days, and ones I may write someday. Feel free to send a request in my inbox, and I'll do my best to finish it in a decent timeframe. I'll do any preferences you like, just follow my request rules that can be found here. I'll do any gender, pairing, etc., though obviously I have some preferences of my own in the descriptions. Also, please feel free to use these ideas for yourself, there's plenty to go around. If you do, don't forget to tag me so I can read your amazing work!

•Graduation Day/Party: You and Eddie graduate together in '86, and have some fun at a graduation party hosted at your house. (I envisioned cheerleader!reader for this, but it's up to you. And preferably the party would be at their house, and they're rich or something.)

•Sub!Reader/Dom!Eddie: Eddie tortures you with toys and edging, very kinky BDSM type stuff.

•Criminal!Reader: You're a runaway dropout who is honestly up to no good. Eddie encounters you when you start cutting in on his business, and you get into all sorts of illegal hijinks together.

•Punk!Dom!Steve Threesome: You and Eddie go to a rock show together, and you happen upon none other than former King Steve Harrington! He's dressed to the nines in punk attire, dyed/buzzed hair, piercings, tattoos, DIY clothes. You and Eddie are very taken with him, and bring him home for a good time (preferably this would be an MLM story, I haven't written queer content as much as I'd like.).

•Vamp!Eddie: Eddie nearly dies in the upside-down, but the bat bites turn him into a vampire. You hide him in your house, feed him, things get bitey, yada yada. (I know it's been done to death, but not by me. Well, not like this, anyway.)

•Truth or Dare: You and the grown teens of the Main Party have a gathering at your house. There's drinking, smoking, teasing games, the like. Everything is going great, until Eddie suggests you play 'truth or dare'. He knows you've been crushing on him for months, and he knows exactly what to do to get you to fess up.

•Canon (but also not) Steddie Threesome: You stay at Steve's with Eddie when you lose your home in the earthquake. You can overhear them having sex at night, which excites you. You try to ignore it, give them their privacy, until you hear the boys talking in bed about how much they want you, what they'd do to you. Eventually, the cat comes crashing out of the bag when you let it slip that you've been hearing them. This was all part of their elaborate plan, of course, much to your delight. (Again, preferably MLM on this one.)

•Wet Dreams: Eddie has a wet dream about you. Any dream you like.

•High School Reunion: It's 2006, the 20-year reunion for Hawkins High Class of '86. Eddie is a megastar, and you haven't even bothered to leave town. You hooked up once back in the day, and you always regretted letting him leave for LA to kickstart his career. Well, without you tagging along, at least. He shows up, much to your surprise, and you swear it's like he never even left.

•Hostile Uterus: You're in an all-girl rock band (named Hostile Uterus, if you couldn't tell), and Eddie sees you perform in a local festival-type event. He falls head over heels almost instantly when he watches you, needing to get to know you. You don't let him in so easily, and you're definitely not one to relinquish control. (Sub!Eddie and Bitchy!Dom!Reader preferred for this, but I'd take suggestions.)

•Oh, Eddie...You're So Fine: You work at a convenience store, which Eddie frequents on a regular basis. You often fantasize about him, your mind traveling to very nasty places while on the clock. One day, Eddie asks you out on a date, making all your wishes come true.

•Tattoos: You get a brand new/your first tattoo and are excited to show it to Eddie. He loves it, and goes crazy on you. (There's so many tattoo possibilities, so I'm leaving that open.)

•Brat!Reader and Dom!Eddie: Eddie is busy working on a new campaign, but you want his attention NOW. You start knocking things over, throwing a little bit of a fit, huffing and puffing. Eddie tries to ignore you, and the teasing you employ, and finish his work. He warns you many times to cut it out, but you don't listen. So, you earn yourself a very big punishment.

Tag List: @rafescurtainbangz @voyeurmunson @xxbimbobunnyxx @taintedcigs @mediocredreams

@slowandsteddie @angel-munson @eldermayfield @munsonsbtch @babygorewhore

@rattkween86 @violetpixiedust @bimbobaggins69 @purplehazed-h @morning-rituals

@eddie-van-munson @msgexymunson @munsoneightysixx @impmunson @mysticalstar30

@jenniquinn @oneforthemunny @succubusmunson @ddeadly-succubus @prettyboyeddiemunson

@sanctumdemunson @stalactitekilla @s6raphic @hellfirenacht @birdysaturne

@ohmeg @h-ness1944 @pretendthisnameisclever @ahoyyharrington @micheledawn1975

@costellation-hunter @josephquinnsfreckles @leelei1980 @yourdailymemedelivery @spacedoutdaydreamer

#fanfiction #smut #blurbs #eddie munson #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson x reader smut #eddie munson x reader #stranger things #hawkins #1980s #hippiegoth97 #oneshots

[burnhamandtilly]

having a manic episode today and I'm about to make it everyone's problem :)

#i already feel sorry for my dog because she keeps following me around the house 😅 #she's gonna get tired real quick #but I'm gonna enjoy this while it lasts #i have so much to do that I haven't done in months #gueaa I'll get at least some of my shit together today 😏 #anny.txt

[soulmvtes]

just submitted my last essay!!!!!

#god it feels so good to be done w it #feels like i haven't even been able to properly enjoy january as much bc of having to do them in a rush but i'm so glad it's over now #looking forward to spending the rest of the month resting a little and reading and seeing friends etc <3 #i feel like the month started off rly slow n tiring (not bad just long) but this week has been nice so far and i'm feeling good i think ! #diary #tiyas thoughts

[mattodore]

found out while putting together matthias's oc page that his name has the exact same etymology and meaning as theo's name...

i’m sure this is information matthias is very normal about…

#theo is in fact a gift from god so jot that down ! #river dipping #i've been throwing myself into oc stuff bc i'm not doing hot mentally which is... tbh when i do my best writing 😭 #none of this is new tho i wrote the bios and 'at a glance' intros months and months ago when i first made an oc page #which is why i do plan on rewriting them but for now i'm leaving them like this... so i guess the echthroi page is done? #obviously echthroi has more characters than this but i haven't taken new screenshots of everyone yet... #i put the gray cas bg back in my game a few days ago only to completely forget i wanted to take new headshots for the oc page 😭 #like these are just placeholders... i want the backgrounds to match the oc page. oh... or maybe i could just do transparent pics? #i think i remember vyx made a post abt how to do that... will look into that when i open the game again. rn i'm at my keyboard 🧑‍💻 #like i am writing new things! started a google doc for theo yesterday and have been writing on it here and there since then #i've already cried in there... lmaooo. i like oc pages for sure but i think a huge google doc is what i really need to keep track of things #i drop so much lore in tags on here and it's like! river write that down somewhere else or you'll lose it 😭 #like i fr have never actually written down any of the info i've shared on here. i've just had all this oc knowledge stored in my brain. #so i went through and copied over a tonnn of tags and posts i've made into google docs but i just know i'm missing things i've probably #said in the tags of their core tagged posts... 🧍 if my blog didn't have so many posts i'd have an easier time going through it but 🤷 #and on top of that i've been making a bunch of posts about theo and matthias on my main acc. which is like 🧍 well great now there's more #i'm gonna lose track of...... i fr have gottt to get into the habit of actually putting things down in theo's google doc!!! #i'm just trying to figure out the best way to format it all but i've downloaded a few templates that i've been messing with. #...anyway. if it isn't obvious i'm trying to get back to posting on here. i'm opening my inbox now with the intent to just. #sit here in my inbox until i can get myself to reply. lads... avpd is actually so torturous i'm not kidding. #i feel like i'm dying trying to get myself to interact with people sometimes even despite how badly i want!!!! to interact!!! #theo and me and our avoidant trauma responses holding hands and skipping around together

[icewindandboringhorror]

... why he sit like this

#in this position his face is extremely 'cartoon cat' shaped.. like the perfectly round cheeks and little #rounded bump of a snout.. big round eyes. etc. stretched over the arm of a chair like a weirdo #cats #It's still Hot Evil Summer time and I have so much to do so am just aimlessly hopping between various projects but not actually #getting anything done. as usual. Also so so so so tired. I almost fell asleep in the middle of the floor like 3 times today lol #Trying to finish some costume photos and also another poll adventure thing. plus I do really want to do a sculpture sometime #I haven't finished one in a while. Hopefully my tiredness is nothing bad. #Maybe I'm anemic again so that's making me tired. Or maybe it's just a Listless phase. not that I'm ever really THAT productive considering #all of the health problems and etc. always holding me back. but still. I'm not usually 'sleep or just stare at a wall literally all day' ty #e unproductive.. at least not for multiple days in a row so. hmm... Sometimes especially in the summer though I will have periods of time #that are listless like that. I am under low level phyiscal stress for months at a time due to summer heat so I guess it makes sense #that would eventually take a toll. I just have SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO DO!!!!! AAUUGhhh #I also came up with a new idea for a game that is so so cool and I wish I could make it but I have to finish the other one first lol #which I will NEVER do. if I spend all day just sleepy unfocused barely able to do anything #I also really need to sell some clothes and sculptures because I'll probably have to buy a new computer soon so I need money. (plus still #recovering the costs of having to euthanize my other cat.. wehh) There's nothing clearly wrong with it right now but it's getting gradually #slower and there's more weird glitches happening randomly and idk.. just weird things that make me think 'hmm... bad.. possibly.' #ANYWAY... I just have so much to do that I both REALLY want or need to do - so it's perpetually frustrating that I just can't for whatever #reason like. Time is always mving forward. every day I waste is a wasted day. The year is already almost half over. I havent finished #any of the projects I wanted to .. and there's only more and more things to do each day. It's overwhelming and stinky #and thats not even considering having to do all of my tasks also with the background noise of economic inequality. everything increasingly #going into an even scarier political direction. active climate change crisis. pandemic that still exists and is insane to act otherwise. et #etc. HOW am I supposed to solo make two whole games . write 3 book series. finish sculptures. do costumes. make outfits. game videos. make #stable network of social connections. do my little side crafts. take care of myself and cats. pay rent. manage health issues. keep a routin #.try to make some sort of money. go to doctors appointments. handle regular maintenance like cleaning and cooking and self care #and buying new plates when old ones break or etc. make sure to do other things like backup my computer data regularly. do shopping lists. #take care of plants. pursue like 6 different academic interests. do the other side side projects I have for fun (like music or carving avoc #ado pits). eat in a healthy way thats okay for my Special Health Issue diet. exercise so i don't die early. etc. etc. etc. AND all while it #82F in my apartment all the time and I have tiny income and also need to move to another country/climate somehow??? lol...... #ANYWAY.. ..very frustrated today over my chronic Tired Sleepy.. time for Cat Photos - which cure all of life's ailments lol

[pleasantmsp]

I love Beauyasha so much. I miss them so much.

The reunion gave me so much joy and now I'm in this weird happy but melancholy state. I love the Nein so much and I want more of them. And I especially want more of Beau and Yasha. If we get a Fjorester wedding one shot, I will be stoked. But then also give me the Beauyasha wedding too!

I'm really just hoping they keep doing these little reunions cause I love the Mighty Nein so much and seeing them makes me so happy.

#critical role #cr spoilers #beauyasha #the mighty nein #echoes of the solstice #and the rest of the tags are a rant #got a bit carried away lol #my depression has been real bad for the past like 9 months and i dont have the money or resources to go to therapy #so i am in a real interesting head space lately #this one shot gave me so much joy #i haven't felt that engaged and excited and happy in a long time #but now that its over that feeling is being joined by (like i said) this weird melancholy that i've never felt in this way before #tm9 mean so much to me #beauyasha means so much to me #especially in these times with the strikes and all the cancelations of wlw inclusive media #i've been trying to get back into c3 but getting through those first arcs is proving difficult #bh just doesn't feel the same as the m9 to me which is fine but sad in a way #cause I feel like there's still so much the nein could do and participate in #i definitely understood what ashley meant when she said she didn't feel like she was done with yasha #i feel the same #so i hope they keep doing these one shots and i hope they release some news on the animated show soon #and here's hoping that as I catch up on bh i can come to love them even half as much as tm9 #cause that'd be enough to keep me coming back and then some

[chrisbangs]

hello... (and bye ig 👋)

#👋😭 hi... #i haven't come on in about a month and i didn't realize a month passed by like that... i've kinda stopped using any apps on my phone #i barely even talk to my friends anymore lol 😭 #i just saw my follower count this morning and realized i hit 13k and i was like 🥸 huh... #uhhhhhhh 😭 idk i wanted to say thank you i guess 🫂 #i'm done with stayblr and tumblr in general 😭 this much has been obvious for a while now... i tried to fit myself back in during 5star but #i think i realized i've outgrown the vibes here and in online spaces in general... i don't really enjoy it anymore 😭 which is weird cause #i've used tumblr since i was in middle school so 🫡 end of an era some would say... #i think it sucks because i don't have the same feelings about this place or skz or anything in my life right now... i tried to ignore it bu #it's so obvious now that the entirety of december passed without me really talking to a single person / without me using social media / #without me really doing much except for like homework and assignments lmao #i think genuinely i've stopped enjoying everything i used to like and i don't know why 😭 it hit me the other day bc i don't even enjoy #pc collecting anymore which is CRAZY considering how much time and money i've put into that hobby so 👋🥸 who knows what goes on #i haven't consumed any skz content since rockstar dropped 😭 and that also feels weird to me... idk... i would say maybe i'm going through a #depressive episode but i don't really feel how i do then... i think i'm just tired like i always am and that's just how i am now .. i think #i'm just not really interested in things anymore? weird but .. yeah idk😭 if i knew what was wrong i would Fix It sndjdndkd mostly i'm just #sad because i haven't been talking to friends... i keep ignoring everyone and not replying to any texts from anyone because ???? #i tell myself i will do it later but i know i won't ... idk i genuinely don't know why i'm struggling to talk to ppl anymore 😭 i've become #even more of a reclusive hermit than i already was 💀 and the worst part is i feel normal abt it #i don't feel /bad/ i just feel guilty that i'm not replying to ppl bc i don't want to hurt ppls feelings... on my end i feel Normal abt it #like i ??? is it weird that i'm so detached from everything that not even a month ago made me so happy..? that's weird right 😭 like idgi #i don't feel (as) depressed (as i usually do) but clearly ?? smth is wrong ?? like ik i'm not a clingy sentimental person but ? it kinda #makes me sad wondering if i really don't care abt ppl anymore ... but i think 😭 it's also the object permanence issues that come with adhd #not seeing or talking to the ppl i love . not doing my hobbies or seeing the groups i care abt . makes it easy to not care or forget what #they make me feel etc etc ... i get it... but idk 😭 if that's what this is . well wow it sucks ASS.. cause i feel guilty for not feeling #anything at all ... 😭 idk how to explain that HENSKDNISJS anywayyyy 💀 #i came on cause i wanted to say thank you for 13k followers 😭‼️ and that i probably will not be online anymore unless i really want to say #this was a really long winded way to say i feel bad but i'm done with stayblr fr 👋🥸 i tried so hard for the last 2 years to make it feel #like home again but it stopped ages ago so 🥹 that's ok.. i still cherish my memories here 🫂 anyway thanku and sjsjsksksks bye i guess 😭 #who knows maybe i'll enjoy it one day again and come back :') never know what the future holds 🫡

[leaping-laelaps-art]

The Devonian trilobite Crotalocephalina gibba.

Made as a more or less successful exercise to emulate the style of Junnn11, the person who illustrated many of the wikipedia articles on Cambrian arthropods and Paleozoic euchelicerates (and whose art I happen to like very much).

#very accidental lesbian color scheme #i swear i didn't do it on purpose the colors just looked nice #i only realized two hours after picking the colors and went with it #it's not my fault if lesbians have the best pride flag #(perhaps with the exception of the aro and aroace ones - but there certainly is no reason for my opinion on these to biased hehe) #anyway #drawing based on a fossil i have on my desk #minus the appendages of course (those are mainly adapted from Ceraurus pleurexanthemus) #because there's no way on earth i'm drawing a cheirurid in a non-neutral pose with just my imagination and a few top view photos/diagrams #all these furrows and little knobs around the articulations!!! #also heeeeeyy i'm not dead i'm still making art #between work travel and the fact that i've started sketching on paper again over the last 6 months #i haven't done much digital art worth posting #(still hesitating to post my paper sketches on here) #but i do have some cool 3d projects in the works #so i will probably be posting some pieces in my usual style in the more or less near future #crotalocephalina #cheirurid #trilobite #arthropod #devonian #paleozoic #paleontology #palaeoblr #paleoart #my art

[bewilderedbuck]

on losing a mother

#s.txt #s.poem #mom tag #poetry #okay to reblog #it's officially been over a year since the last time i saw my mom. #her skin was translucent paper thin and she looked so fragile in tht hospital bed but she was supposed to be getting better #and she did. for about a month. #she went back into the hospital 3 days after my birthday. #she stayed there for like 2 weeks and then died about a week after she checked herself out. #the last time she ever texted me was on my birthday. i waited two days to text back. and i never heard back from her. #the next time i saw her she was a pile of grey ashes in a plastic urn. she sits on my shelf now. i haven't gotten her a new urn yet. #i try not to feel guilty. there wasn't much i could do from a thousand miles away #but i still feel the guilt every day itching under my skin and screaming at me in my mind that i should have done better #that i should have been there for her #her phone number has since been given to someone else. i deactivated her facebook account. i cleaned out her apartment & threw away almost #all of her belongings. #i took photo albums. i took some jewelry - including the ring she wore as she was cremated. it survived the fire. the funeral home put it #in the urn with her ashes. i wear it sometimes just to feel like there's still a part of her with me. #but she's gone and i don't believe in an afterlife and neither did she #there's some comfort in knowing she is no longer in pain that she is no longer suffering #but i still sit here and i think of all the things i never got to tell her and the new things i want to tell her every single day #i never got to come out to her. not really. i never got to tell her that i understood what she went thru with my dad because i lived it too #anyways. sorry for going off in the tags. i'm okay i promise. just feeling a lot of feelings right now.

[thethingything]

I really don't like our brain's ability to jump from "I'm going to organise all this stuff and catch up with a bunch of tasks" to "it's time to get stuck in an increasingly distressing thought spiral for several hours, accidentally trigger yourself, then feel like shit because you haven't done anything but also haven't managed to rest".

like please can we maybe have like a nice middleground where we do a few things and then rest for a while and don't experience the full range of human emotions over the course of about 3 hours

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #vent post #the thing is that we were feeling pretty good and actually got some stuff done today #and then someone asked how we were doing and we mentioned this #and their response was to interrupt us to be like ''wow it must be nice to not feel like shit all the time'' #before going on a rant about a bunch of stuff including topics that this person knows are triggering for us #so then we got frustrated and triggered and that threw us off and then we got stuck in a spiral over a bunch of stuff #and now we're exhausted and have no motivation to do anything and our brain is still trying to spiral more and we can't focus on anything #sorry for wanting to celebrate actually managing to do stuff after struggling with way worse executive dysfunction than usual all month #and by ''do stuff'' I mean we caught up with some journaling we'd missed #then added a handful of tasks to our to-do list so we'd remember to actually do them later #so a couple of things that are a big deal for us because they help us stay organised but take a lot of focus so we struggle with them #but at the same time they're tasks most people probably wouldn't view as any sort of actual achievement #part of it was also that we woke up with enough motivation to actually do what we'd planned to do today #but so far we've only done like one task from it because then all this shit happened and we haven't been able to do much else

[francy-sketches]

do u guys think I can animate a 5 minute video in like 8 months

#.txt #now i know what you're thinking. it took me 1+ year for a 3 min pmv. BUT 80% of that was procrastinating and not doing anything #I have 2 make a short film for my final project this year. and we were supposed to start making sketches n shit during the summer #and uh. school starts in a month ish and I still haven't done shit #bc I have like 0 ideas #except for ONE. but's it's kinda long as balls (5 mins) #ok actually. the song is 4 mins (they said we could make a music video) but I listened to the slowed+reverb version 2 much #so like I kinda imagined it to the slow version and the normal version is a bit too fast. i think #we don't have to work alone so I guess I COULD just attach myself to one of my classmates projects. but I'd rather not #bc the thing is. i dont wanna be mean but half of them don't know what they're doing 😭 #had to keep explaining basic shit to them like please dont make the scene 50 frames long when it's supposed to be 30

[raiiny-bay]

thinking about my fictional lil guys even though i really need to focus on my assignments

#i have 3 weeks left of this term #but mentally i am checked tf out #i found the most perfect song for arthur & harley & now they are all i can think about #i think i'm gonna have to finish making them as sims just so i can make an edit of them #they had the most messy ugly codependent friendship & it ended so badly. like the tension between them is palpable. #i haven't written anything for artie's story in months bc #i've decided i do actually need to kill him off regardless of how much it hurts my feelings #& so i've been procrastinating #BUT i have been thinking about them almost nonstop for weeks #decided i might try to write by hand rather than typing to see if i get more done #idk yet #n e way #rainyrambles #dl

[meownotgood]

I live for your Aki headcannon. They are all cannon to me. You are the official spokesperson for Aki in my mind. You have infected with me with terminal brainrot of him since I read your last fic of him.

🥺🥺 that means so much to me, I'm glad you think so... thank you for enjoying my works and my blog, I appreciate you being here <3

#ALSO I did see the last ask you sent me before and I'm really appreciative of that too!!! #I just didn't get a chance to reply because... I haven't worked on under the influence much this month 😔 #I've been busy work work stuff so I got time to do that one thing for ktober and then I just died lol #but I promise to post previews when I can begin working on it again!! #I hope you will enjoy it when it is completed 🫡 #I'll get caught up on ktober stuffs (I have rough drafts for everything I just need to find time to sit down and edit) #and then I'll work on my fic as much as I can #I swear I'm gonna get it done before this year #I literally started the damn thing in january I can't go a full year with it in development I CANNOT #wtf where did the time go by the way... where am I...... #ask mags

[deoidesign]

Hiya, I wanted to share a kinda weird story and ask a question. Just wanted to say you’re a very talented storyteller and I’ve been thinking of your work a lot. I ended up having a dream about time & time again last night where Steve tries to steal the American flag for a bunch of children. It was a pretty angsty dream but I still found it kinda funny because it seems on brand for Steve lol. Also, for those who can’t afford to buy the books on kickstarter, will there be other options to help fund? If the kickstarter succeeds will you list the books on your website or are they one and done? I hope you’re having a lovely day!

I love how the way you've approached this makes me unable to ignore the first part to be able to answer the second.

To start with the questions though, I'll be making a PDF people can get to help support (that will be included in all tiers)! It should be a fun item for any fan of the series... You'll also be able to get just one book instead of all 4 from season 1. I'm trying to plan some other things, but it's all still very much in development so I'm wary of committing too openly to it!

And I am planning to have the Kickstarter goal fund extra copies for me to put on my site and take to conventions, yes! So if someone can't support when it comes out, if it funds then they can order the books later, or find me at a convention with some copies!

I'm planning to be incredibly up front about the costs and processes by which I came to all my decisions, because I've made quite a few strange choices but I assure you they're all just in service of getting books out as soon as (and as fun as) possible!

And for the first bit, it's incredibly flattering to hear that you think about my work... And to the extent that it's invaded your subconscious! Wow! Depending on the context it's definitely something he'd do, complete with angst in a silly situation. Thank you for sharing this with me, I hope your day is kind to you.

#the pdf is going to be an activity book you can print out at home! #it's designed to be activities that line up with each arc #so youre meant to 'play along' as you read! #which of course is something that can be done without the books ^^ #but im planning on paper dolls #maybe some crosswords #mazes #stuff like that! #no promises i haven't made too much of it yet... ive been uhh #busy with making the comics and prepping the books for print #its all been nearly a month of work so far #and ive nearly a month of work more to go #but im right about halfway and i think things are settling down! #as for the books... im planning to ship them out one at a time. #so its a bit more expensive for this... #but my reason for doing so is that I'd have to either do a Kickstarter for each book #which is WAY WAY WAY too many kickstarters theres gonna be like 10 books or something by the end of this comic #OR id have to wait a year to do them all at once. #so im going to put the shipping costs for one at a time #and then explain 'if you wait a year to get them all at once shipping will be approx this much' #again trying to be very very transparent about the costs of things #cause im trying to make it as inexpensive as it possibly can be... #but 4 books is like $100 pretty much any way you slice it :( #so im very nervous about it all succeeding #so im trying to add in as much as i can to hopefully help ease it towards success #cause also 4 books... thats like a 10k goal minimum. #very big project and incredibly scary!!! #anon #asks #Kickstarter stuff

[unoisveimved-un-proffesional]

freaking it on the living room floor twitching dead cockroach style. Amen.

#eeeuuuughhhhh #im in a better and more stable position now but am totally unable to help anyone. #im just letting people stay here when they need it really. its all i can do for people right now. #maybe i should start charginh people for staying here. but people who have to come here got nothing. #don't really want to anyway. just saying. it'd benifit my survival and stuff. #there is the odd generous donation here and there from folks. very appreciated. #power's been getting cut out every odd couple of days now and then due to heavy snowfall. roads iced. cars snowed in. yup. sigh... #uuuuuuueeeghhhhgggg #came down with a predictable seasonal illness as per every december so i dont feel too bad not getting things done. #i haven't really done much this month. dont get off the couch often and sleep through most the day. old hibernating instincts i guess. #still it's been a long month. and im really no better off today then i was yesterday. or a month ago. #surprisingly kept up with chores this month. feeling pretty good on that front. all except laundry. and hygiene. im like a moldy potato ha! #it's not actually that funny. especially for the potato. real sad and shriveled looking potato... #other than the general state of things everything's alright. nothing i should really be complaining about. #hexacles.txt