hi for the first tomlinson!sister blurb maybe like her and harry’s relationship during the years? her relationship with her family and louis idk lol im bad at coming up with ideas 😭
trope masterlist || ask me anything <3
anniversary masterlist is here !!
welcome to the first blurb of the week all for my first anniversary 💞 i hope you enjoy it just as much as i had creating it <3
authors note - thanks to whoever came up with this gorgeous idea it’s definitely a good one so i hope i somehow did it justice💗💗 when it comes to the tragic passings of johannah and felicity, i decided not to use there photos in this just to respect the privacy of the tomlinson family🙏
2010,
MARCH. (account private.)
liked by mrsjohannahdeakin, yourfriend and 23 others.
yourinstagram, good luck lou! can’t believe that my brother is auditioning for the x-factor i know for a fact that your going to smash it ❤️
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yourfriend, good luck louis!
mrsjohannahdeakin, can’t believe my baby boys doing this ❤️
yourfriend, wait what? how did i not know he was auditioning??
yourfriend, good luck
yourfriend, so that’s why your not in school today?
DECEMBER.
liked by gemmasfriend, yourinstagram and 21 others.
gemmastyles, get a room
tagged, yourinstagram
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gemmasfriend, can’t believe how famous harry is now
gemmasfriend, cuties
annetwist, all i see is a bunch of cuties
mrsjohannahdeakin, the cutest babies ever
gemmasfriend, Harry’s got a gf?
yourinstagram, gem!
2011,
SEPTEMBER. (account still private.)
liked by yourfriend, mrsjohannahdeakin and 56 others.
yourinstagram, so guess who appeared in her brothers music video? this girl and it was everything and more. if your my friend then you’ll go and stream it right now 💞
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yourfriend, this song is such a bop
yourfriend, im so jealous that you got to be that close to Harry 😮💨
yourinstagram, 🫣🫣
mrsjohannahdeakin, super proud of the boys for this
yourfriend, this song is so good like your brother and his friends are geniuses
2012,
FEBRUARY. (Account Still Private.)
liked by lottietomlinson, mrsjohannahdeakin and 198 others.
yourinstagram, birthday meal for the birthday boy happy eighteenth to my curly headed friend🎉🎂
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yourfriend, still can’t believe that your friends with the one direction boys
yourfriend, happy birthday harry
mrsjohannahdeakin, happy birthday harry feels like it was just yesterday that I met little sixteen year old you for the very first time
yourinstagram, he just read this and is blushing right infront of me
yourfriend, happy birthday
liked by username, username and 4,419 others.
enews, harry styles and his band mates little sister (yn) spotted getting cosy after leaving a restaurant together. read more at the link in our bio. 🔗
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username, wtf? that’s his bestfriends sister
username, the way he’s holding her in the third picture
username, this is kinda gross
username, why would she do that to louis?
username, wasn’t it his birthday yesterday?
username, and they were the only two who went out to celebrate so it was obviously a date
username, there actually cute
2013.
AUGUST.
“Homes always been a special place to me,”Harry spoke into the camera, head resting in the palm of his hand.
“I’ve taken a few people there but only people that mean something special to me, and yeah you could say that one of those people is (Y/N),” A soft smile formed on his face. “She just understands this life y’know like because of her brother being Lou.”
A cease formed in his brow. “Although telling Louis that I was dating his sister was something I wish I could go back and never have to do.”
“Only joking, he actually did take it pretty well to be fair,” he let out a soft laugh. “Let’s just say I didn’t end up with a black eye.”
— Harry referring to (Y/N) Tomlinson in This Is Us.
2014.
JUNE. (account public.)
liked by harrystyles, louist91 and 10,476 others.
yourinstagram, fangirling proper rn because i’ve just met five seconds of summer and I don’t exactly know how to cope knowing i was stood right next to luke hemmings 😳
tagged, 5sos
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username, this girl is living all of our fantasies right now
username, Callum’s a proper fitty
harrystyles, luke hemmings? not like you’ve got me or anything
yourinstagram, but his accent…
harrystyles, heyyyy
username, your adorable
username, i want to live your life
username, how does it feel girly??
2015,
APRIL.
enews, harry styles and (y/n) tomlinson spark engagement rumours just weeks after band mate zayn malik leaves the group. read more at the link in our bio. 🔗
liked by username, username and 4,569 others
tagged, yourinstagram and harrystyles
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username, good for them i guess
username, hope this is true there my faves 🙏
username, she’s not even that pretty 🤷♀️
username, excuse you! but just because she’s dating someone that you find attractive doesn’t mean that you can be so mean to someone
username, aren’t they a little young?
username, ayyo
username, childhood sweethearts and all that jazz
username, defo a PR stunt
username, one that’s been going on for five years?
2016,
JANUARY.
liked by annetwist, taylorswift and 234,619 others.
yourinstagram, welcome to the world our darling nephew, freddie reign tomlinson, auntie and uncle adore you so much ❤️💗
tagged, louist91 and brianasrealaccount
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username, freddie 😭
lottietomlinson, can’t believe you met him before me ☹️
username, love how she said ‘our nephew’ instead of ‘my nephew’
username, harry holding a baby is something i never knew i needed
username, imagine when him and (y/n) have kids
username, welcome to the world freddie!
username, he’s so cute!
harrystyles, he definitely likes me more.
yourinstagram, in your dreams lover boy
username, there banter >>>>
DECEMBER.
liked by yourfriend, zayn and 1,345,329 others.
yourinstagram, Mum, I miss you.
comments have been disabled.
2017,
APRIL.
liked by yourinstagram, lottietomlinson and 2,464,924 others.
harrystyles, SIGN.OF.THE.TIMES // 7.APRIL. 17 //
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username, oh this is gonna be good
username, this songs is gonna be iconic just y’all wait
yourinstagram, so proud h! ❤️
harrystyles liked your comment.
username, him releasing music means that one direction are officially over and I don’t know how to feel about that
username, excited!
lottietomlinson, love love love
harrystyles liked your comment.
username, CRYING
username, that date is so soon! you could have given us some more time to prepare.
MAY.
liked by lottietomlinson, taylorswift and 832,178 others.
yourinstagram, tried to get a picture of cillian murphy but some rando was giving me death glares🤷♀️
tagged, harrystyles
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username, same girl same
username, if looks could kill girly
lottietomlinson, cillian could do a lot of things to me…
yourinstagram, 🫣
username, if harry styles looked at me like that id simply pass away
username, the two loves of my life
gemmastyles, give him my number!
yourinstagram, will do!
harrystyles, heyyyyy
2018,
november.
liked by louist91, annetwist and 5,431,890 others.
harrystylesandyourinstagram, 08.11.2018
comments have been limited.
lottietomlinson, best day ever!
liampayne, one of the best days
annetwist, im still emotional typing this
niallhoran, loved it lad
gemmastyles, now give me a neice/nephew pls and thx
yourfriend, your dreams came true!
louist91, treat her right styles
zayn, so happy for you
2019,
march.
liked by username, taylorswift and 709,326 others.
yourinstagram, the moon was always her favourite. fizzy, i miss you.
comments have been disabled.
2020,
JANUARY.
liked by harrystyles, the.daisytomlinson and 934,431 others.
yourinstagram, my best friend just released his debut album, go listen to it or else i will hunt you down….
tagged, louist91
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username, already have!!
username, listened and loved every single song on it
harrystyles, i thought i was your best friend.
yourinstagram, you are baby, you are
username, this album ruined me 😭
username, whose music is better louis or harrys?
yourinstagram, uhhh 1D?
username, walls is gonna be iconic watch this space
2021,
SEPTEMBER.
liked by lottietomlinson, niallhoran and 709,315 others.
yourinstagram, The Away From Home Festival 💞
tagged, louist91
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username, gorgeous!
annetwist, so pretty darling
yourinstagram, ❤️
username, im there aswell
username, isn’t harry starting tour tomorrow ?
username, yeah he is, guess she’s not going 🤷♀️
username, maybe they’ve divorced?
yourinstagram, hi! im flying out directly after this to go and support him just in time for his first show tomorrow, me and h are happier than ever so please stop trying to get involved in our personal lives x
username, that outfit is so pretty, so casual but so chic
username, she looks more and more like lottie everyday
username, is it just me or does it look like she has a bump?
liked by kyliejenner, gemmastyles and 843,176 others
yourinstagram, it really is love on tour ❤️
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username, power couple
gemmastyles, iconic 👌
username, best night of my life
username, can someone look at me the way harry looks at (y/n)??
username, my show!
username, she defo has a baby bump
username, don’t just assume things
username, your so gorgeous!
lottietomlinson, my beauty of a sister 💗
yourinstagram, have you seen yourself?
DECEMBER.
liked by taylorswift, thephoebetomlinson and 3,476,218 others.
yourinstagram and harrystyles, the best christmas present we could have ever asked for.
felix robin styles.
comments have been disabled.
2022,
JUNE.
liked by harrystyles, lottietomlinson and 932,164 others.
yourinstagram, London night one. ❤️
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username, so gorgeous.
username, it’s going to be such a good night !!
gemmastyles, that dress is everything 😮💨
yourinstagram, girl have you seen your dress? it’s beautiful !
username, love love love
username, it’s going to a night that goes down in history
thephoebetomlinson, can’t deal!
yourinstagram, mwah 💞
(Y/N) VIA INSTAGRAM STORIES !!
AUGUST.
liked by zayn, annetwist and 732,176 others.
yourinstagram, when felix met lucky 💙
tagged, lottietomlinson, mrlewisburton
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username, the second generation of tomlinsons are all boys 🥹
liked by yourinstagram.
username, cousins
username, felix is so big now wow
mrlewisburton, 💙
yourinstagram, he’s adorable x
username, i can’t believe that lotties had a baby 🥲
username, this is too much for my heart
liked by yourinstagram, ryan.viggars and 1,619,908 others.
louist91, I’m so excited to finally tell you that my new album Faith In The Future is out 11th November. After living with this album for a while I can’t wait for you all to hear it. Thank you for allowing me to make the music I want to make.
Link in bio to pre-order.
#FaithInTheFuture
view all comments.
username, ahhhh
username, hold up - 🖐️
harrystyles, happy for you mate.
liked by louist91
username, im having heart palpitations as im typing this
username, screaming crying throwing up
yourinstagram, proud of you lou ❤️
liked by louist91
username, love there relationship so much 🥹
2023,
FEBRUARY.
liked by annetwist, zayn and 1,326,317 others.
yourinstagram, hands up if your husbands a three times grammy winner 🙌 words can’t explain how proud of him me and bubba are 💞
view all comments.
username, im crying
username, i don’t know anyone more deserving
lottietomlinson, ❤️❤️
liked by yourinstagram.
username, SCREAMING
username, why can’t he look at me like that??
username, because your not (y/n) 🤷♀️
username, fairs
JULY.
liked by yourinstagram, mr.lewisburton and 3,503,080 others.
harrystyles, Love On Tour. Reggio Emilia. July, 2023.
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username, it’s really over
username, he’ll be back soon hopefully 🙏
thephoebetomlinson, such a good night ❤️
username, was the whole family there??
username, yeah they were !
username, don’t cry because it’s over cry because it happened
username, best night of my life
yourinstagram, so immensely proud ❤️
harrystyles, ❤️
liked by the.daisytomlinson, taylorswift and 932,176 others.
yourinstagram, lying on the beach as the sun blew out 🌊🏝️
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username, your so effortlessly gorgeous
username, felix is so big now like wasn’t he just born yesterday??
yourinstagram, it’s going far too quick !!
username, whose that handsome man?
username, just show us his face ffs
harrystyles, who lays on a sunbed like that?
yourinstagram, honestly he’s such a weirdo 🙄
NOVEMBER.
liked by zayn, darbyward and 843,290 others.
yourinstagram, a night ill never forget. 💫
tagged, louist91
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username, can’t believe how far he’s come 🥹
username, im emotional
username, was harry there?
username, this post is about louis not harry
annetwist, 💙
username, my pookie sold out the 02
2024,
JANUARY.
liked by lottietomlinson, niallhoran and 1,236,471 others.
yourinstagram, when felix met olive 🫒 so immensely proud of you phee, your already the best mama ever 💗
tagged, thephoebetomlinson, jack.varley7
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username, the best duo
username, the first girl of the generation
username, how is Phoebe a mum like tf?
thephoebetomlinson, 💙🩷
yourinstagram, 🥹
FEBRUARY.
liked by annetwist, lottietomlinson and 1,346,371 others.
yourinstagram, when felix met his new forever bestie 🩷🩵
tagged, gemmastyles, michalmlynowski
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username, can’t believe our gems a mum
username, cousins 🥹
the.daisytomlinson, babies 💞
username, your turn next
username, now fucking way
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get to know demeter’s garden fairy . . . cynthia !
what i would be like in the pjoverse
thank u sooo much sunni @sunnitheapollokid for tagging me in this!!! everyone go check hers out :)
⊹ i got to camp as a teen but didn't get claimed for a while... stayed unclaimed for like a year
⊹ as a legacy of apollo as well as a daughter of demeter, i do have a little bit of apollo kid traits/characteristics, such as being a good singer and loving sunlight
⊹ and since i got along with them so well they claimed me in their own way <3 shoutout to cabin 7 my fave people
⊹ they'd gotten so used to thinking of me as their sister they'd completely forgotten i was unclaimed (and so did everyone else) so demeter deciding to finally show up for me and claim me was def a shock
⊹ i was also shocked because i thought surely since i got on so well with the apollo kids i was one of them and apollo had just forgotten yk? he has a lot of kids to be fair!!!
⊹ anyways, i moved into the demeter cabin that night. luckily i already knew some of them because i liked visiting flowers and vines a lot (i wonder why)
⊹ had a bit of an identity crisis but katie gardner was super nice to me the whole time and helped me discover my demeter kid powers which i had no clue i had (i like to think demeter kid powers are the kind you have to tap into / be aware of to use which explains why we're harder for monsters to detect NOT because we're weak like rick said 😒)
⊹ we quickly became best friends as a result and she got me working at flowers and vines immediately. at first i was just a cashier who was training but once i got good i could actually work with the plants!
⊹ being best friends with katie meant i eventually got to know travis and they became like my parents LOL i def did the mama y papa trend w those two
⊹ working there helped me warm up to and get to know my siblings more and so i got close with them too :) as well as the dionysus kids who were there
⊹ i never forgot how familial the apollo cabin felt though so when i was back in the mortal world i brought it up with my dad and he explained how i'm a legacy of apollo (recent lineage so think like my grandfather was a child of apollo)
⊹ felt much better once i got that sorted LMAO
⊹ i def think i'm more of a combat based demeter kid! i don't use a weapon that much as my powers feel more natural but if i have to use one i tend to go for the spear i got from mommy herself!! it turns into a bracelet when unused
⊹ the spear was an apology for taking her SWEET time with claiming me and causing me to question everything i knew about myself... i forgave her though because she was told by zeus to avoid me specifically
⊹ this is because she was particularly close with my father and wanted to bring him up to olympus... you can probably guess how zeus felt about that 😬
⊹ anyway... i tend to have my hair in braids because it makes it a lot easier not only to work in the gardens but also use my fave power which is turning them into vines and doing my thing with them
⊹ i get along best with the apollo (ofc), aphrodite, dionysus and ares cabins
⊹ ares was a shocker to my siblings but they helped me figure out how to use my weapon when i first got it because im an overachiever like that and i discovered they were actually pretty cool
⊹ every demeter kid has an assigned flower at birth and mine are lilies :) random but i had to put it out there
⊹ we can also assign people and/or situations flowers and after an aphrodite kid caught wind of this power (first aphrodite kid who volunteers gets to be a part of this) they insisted we start a matchmaking service together
⊹ majority of my siblings didn't want to do it since demeter kids don't like to be part of other people's drama and tend to keep to ourselves... i however loved the idea and volunteered
⊹ people tell us the situation they're in and ask for guidance and they get it... via cryptic messages and bouquets of flowers! it's not that we don't want to tell them directly what's going on its that aphrodite withholds the info from her kids because she likes to see the drama play out and the demeter flower assigning power is super limited and just for funsies
⊹ when i'm NOT at flowers and vines or the matchmaking (i think fortune telling is a better word to use here) (why am i always working???) service, you can def find me at the beach
⊹ as a coastal girlie the water runs in my blood and going there reminds me of home with my dad even though we live in the city now... also swimming is SUPER fun!!!
⊹ i also help out at the kids arts and crafts activities #demeterkidmotherlyinstincts
⊹ those little kids are acc my bffs i love them to BITS... a lot of the younger kids at camp are there because their mortal parents gave them up or passed away so majority haven't seen the outside world
⊹ ofc when i find this out i bawl my eyes out then make it my mission to bring the outside world to them... that's how chb movie nights began! i bring a bunch of movie dvds from the mortal world whenever im there (sometimes i ship them to chb if i don't plan to go during winter or spring break) and they put them on for the younger kids before bedtime
⊹ i also have each and every one of their birthday's memorised and get them gifts <3
⊹ demeter kids are also good with drugs.. MEDICINAL drugs of course (i personally do not condone drug dealing but some of my siblings def have stashes of weed... that's all im saying)
⊹ we grow them for the apollo kids to use in the infirmary though since we are all very squeamish when it comes to major wounds and blood and all that
⊹ however after the battle of manhattan when the apollo cabin goes from 100 to 3 members some of us decide to put our squeamishness aside to go help out since we are the next best thing
⊹ some demeter kids have healing powers as well so there's that!
that's all i can get off the top of my head... this was SO fun though if i can think of more (or if anyone asks) i will be doing a part 2!
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woa a random in stars and time oc that may or may not be incredibly self-indulgent!!! woa!!!!
meet lost! a silly ghost that just vibes with siffrin in the loops! more info about them is under the cut cuz it's a lot and doesn't make much sense lol (isat spoilers!!!)
----------------------------------------------------
would appear after the loop where siffrin gets accidentally thrown into the tear
like loop, they don't use any of the characters’ actual names
in order they call them little shine, housemaiden, fighter, researcher, and kid
basically the same as loop except for siffrin’s nickname
calls loop little galaxy, and calls the king crying one
loop would probably call them ghost
genuinely doesn’t remember anything about their past, but there are things that give them a sense of familiarity
can choose to make themselves visible or non-visible to siffrin, but can’t make themselves non-visible to loop
has free range when it comes to movement, can go wherever they want, but often chooses to stay beside siffrin
is oddly calm most of the time, and usually has a neutral expression unless they're expressing some sort of joy or acting mischievous
gives siffrin little pep talks at the start of every loop, but stops doing so after act 3
would suggest the use of siffrin's dagger to loop back really early into the loops, before the end of act 2
siffrin still wouldn’t go along with it until much later on
sometimes messes around the house since they're able to sometimes physically interact with the items around them
has caused the group (other than siffrin) to think that the house was genuinely haunted in multiple loops because of this, much to siffrin and loop’s annoyance
commentates a lot on what siffrin’s doing, even if he can’t hear them in the house
would suddenly act differently after act 2, when siffrin defeats the king only to get sent back
would express more emotion, namely frustration and impatience
would also show exasperation regarding siffrin deciding to stick to some script, wondering why something like that matters when they’re stuck
after act 3, would often immediately go to bonnie’s side and stay with them for as long as possible for a few loops
would also shut up about their annoyance regarding siffrin following a script, though they’d still see it as pointless when it comes to some of the stuff that he’s so adamant about keeping the same that wouldn't really put any of them in a life or death situation
would suddenly become visible to the rest of the group in act 5 after siffrin runs off into the house on their own, would partner up with loop to help guide them all to siffrin
Two Hats Spoilers below this line!!!
----------------------------------------------------
they're a siffrin from another universe
loop had a sneaking suspicion of this since their first meeting, and it was confirmed in one of the loops during act 4, in which lost decided to hang out with loop while siffrin went back into the house and the two of them had a talk
lost themself didn’t know that they were a siffrin from a different universe, but remembered when loop started talking about it
wished for something different compared to loop
wished to rest, and for their soul to be sent somewhere far away where it’ll actually matter
did not turn out as expected but oh well
doesn’t want to replace siffrin, just wants siffrin to be happy and live the life they couldn’t since he never gave up when they did
never reveals their true identity to siffrin, but siffrin suspected that they’re another siffrin after the uh. conversation. with loop in act 6
their spirit is finally able to rest after the loops end, so they fade away, leaving behind their silver coin and five-leaf clover
do they come back??? who knows it’s like a similar ending that loop had where they just faded
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💖 it's here, it's pink, it's sparkly, and full of fluff 💖
Hiiiiii and welcome to witness my attempt at an Olli/Allu Advent Calendar, in which I'll give you ~a cute little something~ about these two idiots in love almost every day until December 24! My plan is to use prompts from this list to either write a fic based on the prompt or just some good ol' delulu thoughts if all else fails. I cannot guarantee there'll be a post literally every day, but I'm really excited to try this out and I thank you for your support along the way in advance 💝
The biggest thanks and a million hugs go to one of my favourite human beings @kraeuterhexchen for making the adorable banner!! I mean helloooooo?? 😭 Go show them some love ❣️
For December 1, the prompt list is titled One True Pairing Moments, and the prompt I chose was 'calling just to hear their voice' 🥺 You can read the fic below, I hope you like it <3
.
PS. Even though this is an advent calendar of sorts, I'm not planning on making this particularly Christmassy. I hope no one minds terribly!
~
Falling for Aleksi had, in a way, sneaked up on Olli, at least if he fooled himself a little. He could pretend he didn’t feel any different about the man than he did about, say, Joonas or Tommi, but that strategy only worked for so long – that is to say, approximately until Aleksi as much as smiled softly at him from across a room or bumped his shoulder into his jovially when walking down the street and Olli would feel his breath getting caught in his throat or stumble in his words, his tongue tangled like shoelaces, which was so unlike him as well and frustrated him to no end. It really took a special kind of fool to not only develop some level of feelings for a friend, a colleague, a bandmate for Christ’s sake, but also become so hopelessly enamored with him that you rolled awake in bed in the dead of night, grabbing your phone and tossing it back on the nightstand again and again because you couldn’t decide whether or not you should, on some erratic 2 o’clock impulse, call him to let him know he was the very reason for your insomnia.
Turning on his back, Olli groaned (only a little desperately) as he remembered losing himself in the lingering hug they had shared just before the arrivals lobby at the airport, inhaling Aleksi’s scent and wishing they wouldn’t have to go home just yet, even if Olli was more than ready to finally sleep in his own bed again. Ironically, ever since they had returned home from tour, Olli had spent night after sleepless night missing Aleksi terribly: his stupid jokes and playful banter that bordered on being flirtatious if Olli allowed himself the benefit of delusion; his quick, subtle smiles that probably meant nothing; his little touches Olli hoped meant something; his smell and his touch and the softness of his hair at the back of his neck, compared to which the blanket Olli was grasping in his fist was like sandpaper. (How he had come to know of the qualities of Aleksi’s hair in such detail, he preferred not to dwell on too much to save himself from the heartache, so let’s just leave it at ‘stressful, emotional week far away from home’ and ‘a little too much to drink’).
Above all, Olli missed Aleksi’s voice. He hadn’t even thought that was possible, until the other morning when Olli had woken up to a voice message Aleksi had left just hours earlier, rambling about a song idea he had gotten in the middle of the night – something he did from time to time – and Olli had spent the next several minutes replaying it over and over again as he had lied in bed procrastinating getting up and and instead closing his eyes to better imagine Aleksi lying there beside him, turned on his side to face Olli, talking to him sleepily like they often did when they shared a room on tour and were just too lazy to join others at breakfast. Much like the hug at the airport, Olli wished those moments would have lasted way longer than they did, often ending abruptly when either of their phones would go off with Santeri’s name on the screen, a passive-aggressive interruption to the soft, low tone of Aleksi’s early-morning thoughts. (Sometimes, when Olli was lucky enough, he had been blessed with the bliss of feeling the light touch of a fingertip tracing along his collarbone, cut short just as frustratingly by their well-meaning tour manager politely enquiring whether the two of them had plans of dragging themselves downstairs for some toast and coffee, or if they’d rather starve until lunchtime, for which he wasn’t at all sure they’d even have time that day.)
The lovesick idiot that he was, his thumb hovered over the ‘play’ button of Aleksi’s voice message, probably for the millionth time that week. The chest-carving hesitation turned into a heart flip when he noticed Aleksi was online.
Then Aleksi began to type, and Olli held his breath the entire time until a new message appeared in the thread, anticipation holding him by his throat.
You awake?
Olli exhaled and typed his affirmative reply, leaving out the reason why.
He blinked at the screen, waiting for Aleksi to ask him a random question that clearly couldn’t wait until morning, or perhaps talk about something related to another late-night Twitch stream (from what Olli had gathered, Aleksi had been doing a lot of those recently, and with his last remaining braincell Olli had managed to resist the temptation to watch every single one of them, because he knew that if he did, it would only dig his grave of pining and longing deeper, seeing Aleksi smile and giggle about but not being able to do that with him or snuggle up next to him when he was wearing that flannel Olli often used as a blanket in the tour bus). But instead of another text appearing on the screen, Olli’s phone began to vibrate in his hand, and it took him an embarrassingly long while to understand it was because Aleksi was calling him.
“Hi,” he sighed when he finally collected himself enough to speak. He prayed he’d be able to hear what Aleksi was going to say from the thumping heartbeat echoing in his ears.
“Hi,” a soft voice said. “Sorry, I know it’s late…”
“No, not at all,” Olli hurried to say, “I mean, I wasn’t sleeping. Not even close, actually.” Part of him hoped Aleksi wouldn’t ask about it, but in some foolhardy way the possibility intrigued him.
Nothing much, he would have likely said anyway, but what would happen if he told Aleksi how it really was? That he squeezed his pillow imagining it was him instead, or wailed into it because something had reminded him of a moment-that-was-probably-not-a-Moment™ they had shared? What would Aleksi say if he knew Olli sometimes touched himself the way Aleksi had touched him That One Night they never talked about? The only obstacle between Olli and that knowledge was a bottomless ocean of cold sweat and cowardice, and Olli had never been a great swimmer.
“So, ummm…,” Olli said when Aleksi’s end stayed silent. “What’s up?”
A short breath of laughter sounded through the phone line.
“Honestly? I don’t know, I… It’s just been a… weird week, I guess.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, like… my head’s just been so full of… everything and… I’ve been so busy and kinda tense and… fuck, this is going to sound crazy,” Aleksi laughed that brief laugh again, although to Olli it didn’t sound particularly cheerful. Tired, more like. Strained, somehow. Not sad, but definitely a little troubled, and Olli intended to find out why.
“I’m all for crazy, you know.” Olli hoped his sorry attempt to lighten Aleksi’s mood would work, and so he smiled in relief when he heard Aleksi chuckle at his comment.
“I know,” Aleksi said softly, in that tone of voice that had Olli melt against his bedsheets. “So yeah, it’s been a rough week, but… in between all that stupid shit, I’ve been thinking a lot about… umm… well, the tour and– and… about you, for some reason,” (the troubled laugh made its return) “and… yeah. That’s sort of helped me a lot recently.”
Olli listened to the words carefully, not fully believing what he was hearing, yet clinging on to them until they were all but swirling around in his otherwise empty head like dry leaves in October wind.
“And tonight I just couldn’t fucking sleep for some reason and nothing I did seemed to help and so I thought I’d call you. And I’m–” If it hadn’t been dead silent otherwise, Olli wouldn’t have heard the shaky breath Aleksi paused to take, “I’m sorry I’m calling you at this hour and bothering you with this all but I guess I just… wanted to hear your voice. To see if that would help.”
“Does it?” Olli asked. Aleksi’s confession had made him clasp his blanket close to his chest, as if that would do anything about his rapidly beating heart.
“Yeah. It does. So maybe just… keep talking?”
Despite his mind living a life of its own, completely unfit to form a single coherent thought, for Aleksi’s sake Olli tried his best to think of something to say, but everything he came up with was something he was not ready to tell him quite yet.
“Uuummmm…” he said to buy himself some time, but while he waited for his useless brain and mouth to form any actual words, Aleksi spoke again.
“Fuck, I’m– I’m sorry, this is too weird, I shouldn’t have– I’ll let you go back to–”
“I miss you,” Olli blurted before Aleksi would hang up on him. He squeezed his eyes shut when Aleksi went silent, too silent for too long for it to mean any good.
The line stayed open, however, which Olli took as a positive sign, even if the seconds during which all Olli could hear was Aleksi's quiet breathing seemed endless.
“And I you,” Aleksi finally replied. “A little too much, probably, or at least that’s what it feels like,” he chuckled. Olli almost missed the quiet sniff that followed.
He had to steel himself for his next question.
“What do you mean?”
“Just… forget it.” Aleksi said quietly. Contrary to Aleksi’s request, Olli knew he was going to all but ‘forget it’ for the next 3-5 business days; mentally he booked all his evenings as well as most of his mornings and noons for pondering what exactly had been in Aleksi’s mind in that moment or why he had sounded so sombre, almost disappointed. He’d probably never come to any satisfactory conclusion about it though, at least not without a little help from Aleksi himself.
A ridiculous idea popped into his head, and before he could stop himself, the words flooded out of his mouth.
“Do you wanna come over some time? To hang out? When your schedule’s a little less tight, I mean.” He sucked on his lips and closed his eyes as he waited for Aleksi’s answer, ready to hang up the moment he’d decline the offer on some obvious and logical reason for why Aleksi couldn’t possibly make nor want to take a trip to the north to see him, such as ‘didn’t we just spend over two months on the road together?’ or ‘damn, buddy, I miss you alright but not quite that much, I’ve done enough sitting in public transportation for one year, thank you very much lol’ or ‘what about Rilla?’
“You could take Rilla with you, you know.” Olli hurried to say, just in case, the deranged part of his brain thinking there might be a chance Aleksi might be at least considering it.
“Oh! Well, umm… I actually might have time next week? If– if you’re actually being serious about this.”
Funny you should ask, Aleksi; I’ve actually never been more serious about anything in my entire life than I am about having you here with me so that I can hold you and be held by you and see your face when I wake up in the morning and say goodnight to your annoyingly cute face instead of via text message and maybe, if the stars are in position and the northern wind won’t discourage me too much, I might actually be brave enough to torment you with the knowledge of just how miserable I’ve been since we last saw each other.
“I think it would be cool,” he said, because he had a feeling what he wanted to say would’ve been a tad too much and sudden. “I mean, if you’re up for it, of course. I understand if you can’t make it though, I know you have all those side projects.”
“No, I think it might actually do me some good to get out of the capital area for change.” Then there was a muffled ‘ouch’, followed by a laugh that sounded much brighter than any of the other ones Olli had heard from Aleksi that night. “Sorry, correction, it might do us some good. Rilla just told me she’s most definitely coming too. Rilla, stop nibbling on my toes!”
Olli smiled tiredly at the mental image that was painted in his mind of Aleksi and Rilla cuddling in bed, both minding their own business from what it seemed while still minding each other as well, very much indeed.
“I’ll be sure to set up a bed for her in the guest room.”
“The guest room? Do you not know her at all? If she’s not getting the master bedroom, she’ll ruin all your rugs and most of your shoes. Probably also gossip about you to all the neighbourhood dogs. And she’s brutal.”
Olli held his stomach as he laughed, tears almost forming in the corners of his eyes. In his defence, it was late and he was finally becoming tired, thus too far gone to help himself, let alone feel embarrassed about being in stitches about something Aleksi had said that was only mildly amusing. (It wasn’t the first time that had happened either, and likely not the last time.)
“So yeah, ummm, I can take a look at some flight options for next week and let you know, alright? I’m gonna let you sleep now and… I should get some myself too.”
Olli wanted to tell Aleksi he’d love to stay up chatting until dawn, but the yawn he let out when he opened his mouth to speak implied Aleksi had a point.
“Yeah, let me know. And… thanks for calling, I… you have no idea how much I needed this tonight.”
That was as close to a confession as Olli was able to get as of now.
“Probably not half as much as I did.”
Olli chuckled at Aleksi’s response, mostly to hide his own agony.
If only you knew. If only I knew how to tell you.
It didn’t take long for Olli to doze off after they hung up, and when he woke up to the kids from next door having a snowball fight under his window in the morning, he noticed new messages from Aleksi, sent half an hour after their phone call had ended, complete with screen captions of airplane schedules.
Would these days work for you? I might be free all week actually 😇
Olli cuddled into his pillow while typing his reply, hoping it wouldn’t wake up Aleksi.
yeah I’m free as well. I’ll pick you two up from the airport 🖤
From then on, Olli started counting the days until he’d see Aleksi again.
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