#i have like one million thoughts about them sorry but they do compel me so

[phantomofthehoepera]

us when I am going to grow up and be part of such a normal group of siblings :)

#my art #repo! the genetic opera #amber sweet #pavi largo #luigi largo #i have like one million thoughts about them sorry but they do compel me so #very tempted to just go ape and post all my epic takes or whatevar but embarrassment is holding me back for now

[coralinnii]

You don’t have to do this right away but Part two for idia? Its okay if you dont feel like doing it, just remember to rest and take breaks!

"If you are a villain, then let me be your accomplice"  feat: Idia genre: drama notes: sequel to “being reincarnated into a new world as the bad guy” Idia ver., roughly 1.2k word count, mentions of blo*d, d*ath, and life-threatening situations, is there a gn equivalent of a himbo? cuz slight himbo!reader energy, unspecified beasts,

Finally, it’s here! The long-awaited villain/ess au sequel to the final housewarden (sorry Idia and Idia simps). Admittedly, this is not so much romantic as more fleshing out of their story :p whoops. I might make a continuation of the aftermath of this but I felt like this is a decent stopping point for now. 

Since accepting his growing feelings with you, Idia has been on an emotional roller coaster where he likes being around you but being around you makes him nervous to the point of almost puking. He finds himself glowing, both metaphorically and literally whenever you drop by and it doesn’t help when you seem to enjoy his personal space, seeing as you always bring yourself into said space. 

He knew that if he voiced his discomfort, you would make your best effort to distance yourself but the mere idea of that doesn’t make him feel too happy either. He’s grown accustomed to seeing your eyes sparkle at his new innovations, your warmth as you scoot closer to him on the couch, your voice when you share your random thoughts and questions

“Have you ever dreamt of your own death?” 

Ok, maybe he’s not too accustomed to everything you say

For a while now, you’ve experienced dreams that seem to burn themselves into your memories, forcing you to remember every detail as though the world compels you to. These dreams showed you snippets of life that seemed so real and scarily bears similarity to the real world. Your dreams foretold events in the near future which used to scare you to the point you begged your siblings to stay with you at night, assuring you it meant nothing. 

In truth, you wondered if you were given a strange and powerful gift but one thing about your visions stopped that train of thought. In your dreams, you tend to behave and act in ways you never would. The you in these dreams was spoiled and mean, especially to the Shroud family which you could never bring yourself to do in a million years. Because of that, you assumed your strange visions to be your imagination going wild. An alternative reality that didn’t happen.

But for the past few weeks, you were visioning your terrible end taking place in an expedition alongside your brother. You saw yourself perish at the hands of a feral beast with your brother then seeing your sister cry over your body and proclaiming to avenge your deaths, believing it to be the doing of the Shroud family. 

“What a strange dream, right?” You laughed in hopes to play off the absurdity of it all. “It’s just that…I've been seeing that dream more often now. I guess I’m more nervous about the expedition than I realise”

If it were someone else, you may have been considered strange or even going crazy. You thought Idia would see you that way or at best, try to convince you that it was nothing more than a wild fantasy, like your family does. 

But Idia was not a typical man. 

To be fair, you were not a typical person to him either. If it were anyone else, Idia wouldn’t care less about their troubles or at best, do the bare minimum to get them off his back. But it was the person who unknowingly stole his heart and watching you visibly affected by your disturbing visions persuaded him to seriously consider your words. 

“Tell me everything you saw” 

And lucky he did.  

Your father taught you a lot of things. How to swing your sword with gusto, to grit your teeth and dig in your heels when anticipating a blow, and to stand your ground no matter the odds. But he never told you how painful a racing heart can be or how loud the sound of blood rushing through your system is. Although, you supposed you can forgive him since he would never want to imagine you coming face-to-face to a deranged beast as your own blood blurred your vision. 

During your expedition, you and your siblings encountered a group of disorientated beasts and while this was nothing new to you, these creatures were more unpredictable in comparison to your previous encounters with this species. It was as though they were fighting something internally and your squadron was unfortunately caught in the crossfire. The large beasts were demolishing things in their vicinity, indiscriminately knocking down anything and anyone without care. 

Their unpredictable attacks ultimately led to one of them taking a vicious swing towards you and your brother, sending you both over a tall cliff with the large beast tumbling after from the force of its own attack. 

You vividly recalled this scene, as it was foretold in your dreams. You were trapped and wounded with your brother unconscious after taking the brunt of the attack when shielding you. You willed yourself to keep a strong grip on your sword. If your dreams truly turn to reality, you and your brother will meet an untimely end here. 

“Great heavens, give me strength to protect my brother” you prayed as you took one more long breath before letting out a feral roar. 

You ran full speed towards the rampaging beast, putting all your strength into your swing to sever its leg, hoping to incapacitate its movement. Unfortunately, your depleted strength and eyesight left your attempt with a sizable wound but not enough to deter the giant. 

Your blood has now ran cold as you realise the severity of your situation. Partially blinded and hurt, you were helpless in front of the deranged beast. Your tears mixed with the blood that cascaded over your eyes but you thought there was no use in wiping away the mess on your face. 

In your fearful madness, you thought you might as well make your last moment memorable. You turned your head towards the sky, intending to stare at the beast with as much defiance, refusing to show fear towards any foe. 

But something was odd 

Since the encounter with the beasts, they were nothing but aggressive monsters, agitated and reckless in motion and action. Every moment with them was spent defending yourself from their endless attacks. 

So why does it seem peaceful? 

Even with a wound on its leg, the beast’s body was relaxed like it was in pure relief from whatever was ailing them. If you weren’t just glad you’re still alive, you might have been a little offended by the lack of interest the beast had on you. 

With the rush of adrenaline slightly fading, you started taking notice of your senses a bit more, your injuries were being recognised, you felt the burn in your legs from the stress…and you felt a strange sensation on your wrist. 

Looking down, you found the source to be the beast radar device made by Idia. You found it strange since it wasn’t nearly this hot even when you first came in contact with the beasts earlier but now, the device was evidently warm and you could sense an aura-like energy being emitted from it. You weren’t confident but you wondered if Idia added something more to your device. And it was affecting the beast before you.

Daring to test your theory, you slowly stepped back from the beast, angling your wrist further from the beast, observing the facial changes of the creature. True to your hypothesis (but unfortunately so), the beast’s body started shaking as though something unpleasant had returned to it. You wanted to celebrate your eureka moment but acknowledged this may not be the best time. 

Then, like a gallant warrior, a figure appeared seemingly from the heavens and with a swift motion, speared the beast’s head from above. The creature let out a final painful roar before crashing down before your feet. You looked above to see your sister perched atop the beast, covered in sweat and blood. 

Your sister jumped from her position and ran to you, encasing you in a tight embrace. You noticed how your sister was shaking with palpable fear. 

“You’re alive. Thank the heavens you’re both alive” your usually level-headed sister cried into your sister as she wrapped her arms tighter, which you’re impressed she still could. 

Although, you were grateful for the embrace as you felt your legs give out under you from exhaustion. Your sister worriedly called out your name as she supported your weight but incredibly, you just let out a laugh. 

Against the odds and contrary to your haunting dreams, you were alive. 

Was it strange you thought of Idia when you realised that? 

#disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland imagines #twst scenarios #twst imagines #villainess au #idia shroud #idia x reader #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader

[mulderscully]

so here we are again, i'm breaking up with doctor who again? and i have a lot of asks about why and i have some asks from people ranting at me because they know me well enough to know why these specials would upset me.

i wanna go over why i'm upset a bit, and i'm gonna do it on main because at the end of the day my tumblr career started here.

as a lot of you may be aware, i have been a huge fan of journey's end and of tentoo for over ten years. my god, i have been in the absolute trenches defending that ending for rose and defending the metacrisis doctor for so long that it's honestly part of who i am.

when rtd was announced to be returning as showrunner i was really excited because i thought he was such a brilliant writer who understood the show and his characters. rtd has always been imperfect, but his original run was about life, death, happiness, pain and how you cannot have one without the other. it was about the human experience and the tragedy of the doctor always being on the outside of that. so close but never having it fully.

that's what made it compelling.

now, i was pretty convinced that the fourteenth doctor was going to be tentoo or that something tentoo related was why that face came back. not just because i wanted it but because it made sense. tentoo is half of the metacrisis, he is why donna lost her memories and the toymaker is a villian who messes with universes for fun! all these pieces fit.

it wasn't primarily about rose because i knew billie wouldn't be in the specials, it was about this making the most sense for donna and for the doctor and their relationship.

my biggest issue now is that... fourteen is not ten. the audience seems to be accepting him as such because that's how he was written, but doing so really undercut a lot of what made the tenth doctor my doctor.

fourteen is not ten, he and donna have not seen each other in years - millions for him, fifteen for her - they are different people. or they SHOULD be. and of course he still loves her, of course of course but it doesn't ring true to me for them to barely address how long they've been apart and act like it's s4 again so rtd can give ten a "happy ending."

i don't even know where to start cause it's all so upsetting. listen, i don't like donna getting her memories back and i know that is unpopular but i feel like that tragedy was so well done that reversing it with a wave of the hand is a travesty. but even if donna had kept her memories, fine! show me her family, show me how she has grown and changed in the life without him and show me how she has grown to love herself and is ready to let ten go so he can let go of the guilt of what he had to do to her. why does donna need to have her own doctor?

in russell's book "the writer's tale" he was ADAMANT about donna NEVER getting her memories back. he was proud, as he should have been, of how painfully he ended s4 because tragedy has value.

the key difference between this and journeys end and giving rose her own doctor is that while rose gets a happy ending, it's tinged with pain and with sacrifice for them all. it comes with a price and that makes it all the more precious. ten and tentoo have always been the same guy with different opportunities and how that affects who we become to me. you remove the tragedy from it and the core falls out and it feels soulless.

sure, rose would be happy that the doctor is happy but i'm sorry this is rose's storyline repackaged and handed to donna and done in a way the audience accepts as "real." which is so fucking mindnumbingly unfair and lazy. to take the doomsday, "one adventure i can never have," which is about rose and giving it to donna is so god damn insulting. it's like donna's popularity as a platonic soulmate to ten has completely overpowered the power of nine and ten's relationship with rose, her family and what they represented for him and that doesn't sit right with me and i'm not ashamed to say it.

and it doesn't even work overall because the doctor settled down with river for 24 years already. like... he already had that adventure in various ways! it's like rtd thought he could pick up in 2008.

this is what he originally wanted to do with journeys end and instead of using what he already had and expanding on it, instead of using how tentoo has been thinking of donna for fifteen years too bc he cost her everything, instead of using their metacrisis to have him absorb his mind, instead of using how they are biologically related he makes a THIRD david tennant doctor? it's perplexing. he could have easily brought tentoo over to the main universe and if he REALLY wanted to had donna and her fam move to pete's world and seal them all away for his soft reboot that way.

now we have two timelord doctors in the main dw verse. why? what's gonna happen to him! what about when donna die? does he become the valeyard? what was the point? HOW does this celebrate 60 years?

but my biggest pain of all has been how this neuters ten and the audience perception of him. i love how rude he was. i love how repressed he was. i love his pain and his sillness. i love how he went mad. i love i don't want to go. i LOVE how hard it was for him because it fucking Meant something. like julie gardner said, the doctor is his most compelling when he has to sacrifice something. i love a happy ending, but i worry we are forgetting the value or something ending painfully and just... ending.

tldr; i have more to say but at the moment i feel like my favorite doctor got erased, like they took all the depth from him and made him happier and easier to digest for comforts sake and it sacrificed his arc and that makes me unhappy.

#dw spoilers #negativity

[bumblebugwrites]

chapter 6: bite the hand

Pairing: Victor!Treech x fem!Reader

Summary: Over the next four years, you speak only five times with Treech, each conversation proving more confusing than the last.

Warnings: Cursing, Suggestive Themes, Mention of Injuries, Character Death, Weapons, Violence.

Word Count: 6.6k

Taglist: @nekee-lilac02, @mr-panda357, @yourfavmiki, @blackoutdays13, @dialuvsbangtan, @emgunther

A/N: Well, this is admittedly late, sorry y'all. Also on that note, the update schedule is about to be completely fucked for this fic. As it turns out school is lowkey catching up to me so unfortunately I think I may need to move to posting every two weeks. Either way, I hope you enjoy this chapter, which according to my original outline puts us at about halfway through No Evil Angel But Love!

Series Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

“I just think that it was a mistake. It should never have happened, and– And it won’t happen again.” And just like that, your heart was shattered, scattered across the floor in a million pieces. Well, maybe not just like that. In fact, for a moment, you’d thought the whole thing was a joke of some sort. But then his eyes had caught yours, cold in a way you’d never seen them before, and you had to stop yourself from staggering back, from hitting the wall, because this Treech, the one standing before you, he looked just like the man who’d put an axe through your heart in a dream you’d tried so hard to forget.

“I don’t understand. Does this have something to do with the fact that you disappeared this morning?” Sure, you had been out of it when he’d left, but it didn’t take long for the panic to set in, waking once more to a cold bed, mind reaching out to a memory formed only an hour ago. A mystery phone call to your room. Treech disappearing out the door.

“No, I– No. Just listen to me. This is it, it’s over.” Not the phone call. Him. He wanted this, and next to that, the phone call felt like something to be forgotten in its entirety.  But why?

“You came here last night. You showed up at my hotel room, saying you couldn’t take it anymore, and now, what? You’ve changed your mind?” Anger was quick to follow confusion in those fleeting moments, and as you surged forward, hands tangling desperately in his shirt, you weren’t sure if the intent was to pull him in or push him away.

“You’re just not–” And his hands were on yours, brushing a sweet, delicate pattern across your knuckles, bringing you that soft, quiet feeling he always had. And for a moment, you could feel him leaning in. To hold you? To kiss you? You weren’t sure. “I don’t want you.” 

It is like a punch in the gut.

“I was enough last night.” Tears cloud your vision as you hold steady willing him to look at you, to pull his gaze from the ground, to wrap his hands around yours once more. They are limp now, hanging uselessly at his sides.

“Maybe you weren’t. Maybe you never were.” You want to scream. To cry. To lash out and disappear and explode with the unmistakable rage inside you. You cannot. You can barely speak.

“Treech, I–”

“We’re done. Don’t talk to me. Don’t touch me. Don’t even look at me.” And with that, he pushes you away, spinning to exit out the door just behind you. Leaving you to crumple to the ground. Alone. Unwanted. 

Over the next four years, you had five more conversations with Treech alone, each leaving you more confused than the last.

The first time you spoke was just over two years after he told you that night had been a mistake. That you had made a mistake.

It was harder to stay away in the beginning. Hardest at night when you could hear his screams, telltale signs of the nightmares you knew he fell prey to. The nightmares that formed mirror images of your own. Several nights, you found yourself frozen outside his door, compelled for some unearthly reason to stand guard, to make heavy, unyielding eye-contact with the painted number 7 as though waiting long enough might make it open without any necessary action. You knew then what you really wanted. To go inside. To assure him it would be okay. To offer him the same place in your room you always had. But then, he didn’t want that. He’d made that clear enough. And so after minutes, or sometimes, hours of waiting, you would escape back to your own room before your presence could be noted. Afraid of the harsh words, he might have stored up this time, lashings for your petty emotions.

It was one of those nights, the first time you spoke, although the nightmare was yours, not his. It had left you in a cold sweat as you jerked yourself from the duvet, still sobbing, and you found yourself wondering when the room had become so unbearably large. A glass of water, you’d thought. A coffee, maybe; chances are you’re done with sleep tonight anyway. You’d wondered how Treech was. You always did when your own nightmares exceeded their typical limits, and the thought had infiltrated your mind until the minute you’d pulled the door open, revealing his seated form just outside your door. Alert. Awake, as though certain his presence alone might ward off any oncoming evil. 

He appeared nearly as shocked as you at the reveal, quickly launching himself to his feet and plastering a grimace across his features, darkened by the little light in the hall. And just as you’d opened your mouth to speak, to question his attendance at the foot of your door, he’d bit with words of his own.

“Could you try not to be so loud? Some people here are sleeping.” You did not populate the hall outside his door so much after that. You did not populate his presence at all.

The second time was out of necessity. It was that same year of the 13th Games, and you had found yourself down a tribute, the girl, Rhea, having lost her life in what was beginning to be known as the bloodbath. Skinner was older, the boy. Eighteen and a walking tragedy, so close to escaping. That was the year before they stopped locking you all in the Academy. Before Lux convinced them that sponsor relations could only bear to improve if mentors were allowed the ability to mingle with the people of the Capitol, within reason, of course. Before the Games grew longer, sometimes lasting over a week. 

The night was young, but you were on your third cup of coffee, unable to tear your eyes from the screen. From Skinner’s restless movements as he sat back to a tree, with eyes that scanned his surroundings in wide, impatient arcs. He was alone, and no allies meant no sleep, so he clung to the adrenaline still coursing through his veins, begging it to carry him to safety. 

On your right, Teff fidgeted with his screen, clearly agitated by an increased sense of anxiety at the prospect of both of his tributes escaping the mess of fighting that began the Games. It was harder that way; you had come to learn. Longer survival meant hope. Hope that will infiltrate your thoughts. Your emotions. Higher risk of attachment. And with two tributes, a higher risk that the death of one would only serve to destroy the other. Or worse, a higher risk that they would be forced to take each other on. You’d seen it happen. In the 11th Games, both remaining tributes came from 2, and while Octavian remained firm and unmoving in his seat, Antonia could barely force herself to watch.

Still, you had liked Skinner, cursed with the gangly limbs of a teenager on the verge of adulthood, with a crooked smile and a biting sense of humor reserved only for Rhea in their short days together, so you pushed on. And if the lingering claws of hope had curled their way around your heart, so be it. Maybe this would be the year you could save one. Maybe this would be the year you saw a kid survive.

To your left, there was Treech. Always Treech, who endlessly invaded your thoughts in those weeks you were forced to travel back to the Capitol. In the years since your first visit, the trips had only increased, with Snow managing to find a reason to gather you all in the ‘Gem of Panem’ at least four times a year. Press, he called it, and Hilarius often assured you that networking of the sort was necessary, but it was hard to believe even from his mouth, and you often felt yourself feeling more inclined to believe Teff’s theories. They just want to remind us who’s in control.

Treech was down a tribute, too; though both had escaped the initial violence, the career pack had managed to track the pair, quickly ending the boy’s life and leaving only his girl to escape. Arbor. It had been some time since you had noted her presence on your screen, but you didn’t dare to even attempt casting a look in Treech’s direction, fearing a rash display of the temper you had come to know as reserved for you and you alone.

And you wouldn’t have had to, really, if it weren’t for what happened next, the crushing of underbrush underfoot, the cacophony of voices infused with a false confidence. Skinner’s head shot up in an instant, fear plain on his features. He stood slowly, pushing himself up from the ground with the bark of the tree cutting into his palm for support. The career pack was coming, and he was as good as dead.

Several low branches stuck out to you, and silently, you begged him to climb in spite of a display earlier that day which assured you he did so with the elegance of a toddler. Still, it was all that was left, and you were clinging to hope. Stupid, useless hope. He turned to size up his route upwards, and the voices grew nearer. It was now or never. The pace was the first problem you noticed as Skinner inched up the tree with the speed of a snail. You realized in passing he’d probably never climbed a tree before. Sure, they weren’t a rarity in 10. There were plenty out on the ranch, and as a child, you often sought solace among their branches when your father had allowed you to tag along with him to work. But for a kid like Skinner, confined to 10’s more industrial parts, spending days cooped up in the slaughterhouse, climbing a tree wasn’t exactly within the realm of knowledge he should possess. 

“Fuck. Come on.”

The second thing you noted was the noise. Certainly, there aren’t many silent ways to climb a tree, with the continual brushing of leaves against the fabric of your clothes, but the footfalls were doing little to help in the way of masking his presence, and though he’d made a bit of progress, you almost wished Skinner would stop moving completely. 

The third and most glaring problem, however, was that you’d finally managed to find Arbor, crouched and observant several branches above Skinner. No weapon. That was good. What wasn’t good was that it would be well within her rights to give him up. And beneficial, too. You suck in a large breath. 

The pack has reached the foot of the tree, though doesn’t seem to note the two tributes hidden within its branches. Still, they idle for a moment, and your whole body tenses with anticipation. Skinner’s foot slips. And you know you shouldn’t, but you shield your eyes, waiting for the impact, incapable of watching him fall into death’s open hands. It doesn’t come. Instead, as you remove several of the fingers obscuring your vision, you find Arbor, hand clinging to the back of his shirt, and her face screwed up into a scowl from the effort of keeping him upright. Skinner’s clumsy hands manage to catch a branch, and he pulls himself up, mouth already opening in a question, but she is faster, pressing a hand to his lips and shaking her head with a vehement look that encourages only silence.

And so he says nothing, and for a while, that’s how they remain, waiting for the pack to move on, her hand over his mouth, simply taking each other in. It’s only once the coast is clear that he dares to speak.

“Why did you save me?”

“Well, I didn’t need you making a bunch of noise and giving me away,” she says, releasing any hold she has on him, and for a moment, her face only serves to support the harsh words, cold in its regard, but the instant his eyes shift towards the ground, it softens, revealing the true intention, simple and unbridled care. She reminds you of Treech.

“Are you gonna kill me now?” Skinner sounds almost defeated, and he does not even bother to meet her gaze as he asks. Her expression, safe from his sight, twists into one of concern before she masks it once more.

“I couldn’t if I wanted to. I don’t have any weapons, and the chances of me strangling you are low at best.”

“I don’t have any weapons either,” Skinner admits before appearing embarrassed by the confession. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not a threat, so– please don’t try to kill me.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you could kick my ass,” Arbor returns, her tone flat and a small smirk gracing her features. Skinner flushes at the expression before admitting defeat with laughter of his own when she lets out a chuckle.

“So where’s your partner?” He asks.

“Dead.” The response is factual, but the traces of pain on her face remain obvious. “Yours?”

“Dead.” It is quiet for a moment, and though neither of them speaks, you note Arbor eyeing Skinner's rope.

“Maybe we could make a deal?” She asks.

“Like what?” He is slow to respond but less guarded than before.

“Like allies?” And she extends a hand in a truce, only continuing after noting Skinner’s hesitation. “Listen, I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted, and if I’m gonna sleep in this tree, I’d prefer to do it tied down and with someone to watch my back. We could take shifts. Even if it's just for tonight?”

“Okay.”

It is not then that you speak with Treech. Nor is it over the following days, watching the pair grow closer. Watching them reach the final five with the boy from 11 and the girls from 1 and 2. No. The days register simple interactions. Nods indicating bread and water will be sent, and curt conversations regarding strengths and weaknesses. It is only on the sixth night that you share more than a handful of words, and even then, it isn’t much. And yet, it is more. Heavier than any of the terse exchanges you’d held since you stopped speaking altogether.

Because, on the sixth night, Arbor and Skinner share a kiss. He had fallen earlier in the day. No simple fall either. His leg would only carry him so far, but Arbor remained loyal, and the two traveled as a unit. Under the moonlight and the cover of darkness, she had stopped them to take a look at the injury, steady hands unraveling the makeshift bandage she had torn from her own shirt. Skinner only cringed in pain, regardless of her soft-spoken attempts to comfort him as she poured water from a nearby stream on the wound.

“It’s no use. I’m dead weight. You should go. Get out of here before I accidentally screw you over.” The defeat is evident in his tone, but so is something else, something more. A need for her to make it out. To survive.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Her jaw is tense as she focuses on the work before her, but you sense it is not out of a need to concentrate.

“Arbor, I’m not gonna let you die for me–” He is exhausted, eyes heavy with sleep and glistening with pain. Sweat collects at his brow, and he raises a lazy hand to wipe it away, but she gets there first, swiping her thumb across his forehead before speaking again.

“Well, I’m not gonna let you die, period. So, just drop it.”

“Arbor.” His hand moves to still her own, as though begging her to meet his gaze.

“Skinner?” She asks, annoyed by the disruption but looking up nonetheless.

“What happens if it’s just us?” And you could hear a pin drop in the Academy lecture hall; not even Lucky Flickerman bothers to present his input.

“Well, we aren’t– That’s not… I’m gonna get you out of here,” she states with finality. Beside you, Treech stiffens, the scene beginning to appear all too familiar. Two kids from 7 and 10, with nothing and everything on the line at the same time.

“I wouldn’t let you do that. I wouldn’t be able to let you do that.”

“Why? Why are you being so selfish? Just let me save you–” And she pounds at his chest, but there is no feeling in her attacks. It takes Skinner no effort at all to stop her fists, collecting her hands within his own.

“I don’t want to live if it means you have to die. Because I– Well, I know I haven’t known you that long, but I– Well, I–” And suddenly she is kissing him, telling him wordlessly she feels the same. And suddenly, the world is crashing down, fear pooling in your stomach at the consequences you are sure will come, and you can’t help it, looking at Treech, who is already looking at you. Your mouth is dry.

“I don’t– I–” Your chest is constricting, and the room feels hot, hotter than ever before, and your mind is spinning at a million miles an hour. You cross to the entrance in mere moments, not even noting Treech directly behind you until you have shoved your way out, back slamming into the wall just outside as you crumble to the ground.

“I– I–”

“You’ve got to breathe. You– We have to get back in there. It isn’t something until we make it something.” His tone is cold, but he’s crouched before you, and when his hands reach to pull you off the floor, you swear his thumb runs carefully over your arm once. Twice.

“But it is. You know it is. And if those kids die at the Capitol’s hand, I’m gonna spend the rest of my life wondering if it's my fault. If it’s our fault.” And it's true. It may not have been love for him, but for you, the echoes are everywhere. And though you’re sure the Capitol never saw what happened that night, Dr. Gaul knew enough for the connection to be dangerous.

“You don’t know if that’s what they’ll see–”

“Is it what you saw? Because it’s the first thing I thought about. And I know you hate me now, but you can’t be stupid enough to think that Coriolanus Snow could miss it.” His face only grows more tense before it passes to stone once more.

“What other choice do we have?” He’s right. Of course, he is right. So you reenter and take your places, fix yourselves with masks of unbothered poise, and for nothing. They are dead by morning, carcasses wrapped around one another in a pile of bones and flesh once the Gamemakers’s mutts have finished. And as the camera pans away, you swear you feel a lingering gaze on you, but you do not look, only fake a cough as you brush the tears from your cheeks and fix your steady gaze ahead.

That was the year Teff’s boy won, Reed, and once more, before you are allowed to return home, you are forced to attend a party at the President’s mansion, this time with the inclusion of a Victor’s dance. 

“Teff, come on, I am begging you–” You begin, but the older boy is already shaking his head.

“I can’t, alright. Octavian already asked me if I’d dance with Teresa, and I gave my word that I would. He registered us a week ago,” he sighs, and you want to scream; how could you have been stupid enough to forget about this?

“What about Reed?” At this point, anyone will do. Anyone who isn’t Treech.

“He’s not doing the dance; his leg is broken, remember?” And you do; the boy had fallen off the top of the cornucopia while securing his win, landing on top of the girl from 1, whose neck broke on impact.

“Well, do you think Mags will switch with me?” You are grasping at straws, aware the answer will be no the moment the suggestion passes your lips.

“You know the deal, the only reason we are allowed to have partners from other Districts is because–” But you interrupt him, already knowledgable of your oncoming defeat.

“We don’t have any from our own. I know. I just don’t know what I’m gonna do.”

“It’s one dance, it can’t be that bad.” He reassures, but you know better.

“We haven’t spoken in years.”

“You spoke the other day–” Teff corrects.

“That was different; I was basically having a meltdown.” You recall that moment in the hall. His thumb on your arm. Part of you is convinced it never happened at all.

“I don’t know what to tell you; take it or leave it; this is your only option.” He shrugs, and the conversation is over; you both know it, but not before you vocalize your frustration one last time.

“Fuck.”

That is it, the third time you talk to Treech, at the President’s mansion, surrounded by Capitol citizens. Before you take the floor, you recall your last dance in this place with a certain Heavensbee. Your mind drifts to the events of that night. To what happened after you departed. You shake the thoughts away. Now is no time to linger on what used to be. 

When it is time to go, Treech appears at your side, extending his arm to lead you onto the floor, and you note that he seems to flinch away from your touch, which barely grazes the crook he creates for you. You are already seething. Was it really so painful for him to even touch you? Were you really that deplorable? It is a simple waltz, one your escorts were able to instruct you on with ease, and though the first few steps are taken in silence, as the music continues, you hear the other victors around you begin to chatter. You and Treech remain quiet, your eyes fixed on the floor below, watching the pattern of your steps. Thinking about anything except his hand on your waist and the other delicately gripping yours.

“You’re not supposed to look at your feet,” he mutters, and that gets your attention enough to force your gaze away from its previous target.

“Excuse me?”

“You aren’t supposed to look at your feet. It makes it easier to screw up the steps.” You don’t answer, only fixing your sightline over his shoulder instead, fully expecting the silence to engulf you once more.

“I hate dancing.” He sighs bitterly, and you almost have to resist a smile because it makes sense that the stoic boy before you would loathe the exercise in trust and coordination, ripe with opportunities for embarrassment. For creating holes in his well-kept facade.

“I don’t.” And you aren’t really sure what prompts you to speak, but maybe it is his clear discomfort with the practice, evident in the way his shoulders bunch awkwardly with each turn and his eyes, in spite of his own advice, continue to flit down towards the floor.

“There’s lots of dancing back in 10. Line dances, mostly from a long time ago. But there’s other stuff, too. Once a month, there's a big dance at City Hall. There’s this big open barn connected to the back, and they decorate it, and everyone goes. My dad taught me how, so it reminds me of him.” You can’t help but smile at the memory of your father, pulling the hat from his head and dropping it onto your own before spinning you around the kitchen in preparation for your very first dance. When the day finally came, you’d already forgotten all the steps, but he didn’t mind setting your feet atop his own, the two sets of boots moving in a stilted pattern around the barn, all shrieking laughter and love.

You feel Treech’s shoulder relax beneath your touch, his gaze now fixed on you and nothing else. The movements become more fluid, and by the end of the dance, it feels like flying. That is until something else seems to catch his attention just outside of your sightline. And suddenly, his grip on your waist tightens, ushering you closer, but his eyes grow cold. For a moment, you could have sworn he was shielding you from something until he wasn’t. Until the music came to an end, and he was pushing away, but not before leaving you with a cutting remark.

“Thanks for the story; I’ll remember that the next time I’m pretending to give a shit about you.” You almost gape at him, unsure how to respond, but as rage, hot and untethered, licks its way up your spine, you give into the cruelest thing you can think to muster.

“I hate you.” And he flinched as though the words had hurt him. As though he hadn’t spent every moment of the last three years trying to probe that very reaction from your lips. And you knew he must not have meant it. That it was nothing more than the residual regret leaving his body, but a part of you relished it. Relished causing him pain after the torture he had put you through.

“Good.”

Victory Tours weren’t uncommon by then, so when it was announced the tribute from 11 and his mentor would be making their way to 10, people were well prepared. Lennox in particular seemed to be veritably jumping with joy, unable to sit still after having received the knowledge that you would be hosting the visitors in your new home in the Victor’s Village. Even Fawn who at the now ripe age of fourteen was determined to allow nothing to faze her seemed excited at the prospect of the celebration that typically occurred in tandem with the arrival of a victor. 

You on the other hand were simply happy to see Teff, pulling the taller man into a warm hug the moment he set foot off the train. He seemed not to mind, laughing as he pulled you tighter against him and after a long day of festivities including a night of dancing and the best food 10 could offer, you found yourselves sat around your kitchen table, enjoying one another’s company and a couple of drinks.

“Are we gonna talk about what happened at the mansion? That night, at the party? Quite a scene you two caused,” Teff asked, finally digging into what you knew he’d been itching to talk to you about. You allowed your head to slump forward, burying your face within the comfort of your arms with a groan.

“What am I supposed to say? I was being very civil. He’s the one that ruined it.” Teff only nodded in understanding, having come to know the events that made up your rocky relationship with Treech through snippets divulged over the years.

“You know I’m just worried about you is all. Just wish you would fly under the radar like the rest of us–”

“I don’t wanna talk about this anymore. Tell me about you. About home. How’s Harvest?” Teff was quick to relent, never displeased when talking about his favorite subject, his wife of two years. 

“She’s good. She’s– Well actually I’ve been meaning to tell you this– She’s pregnant.” And though the news reeks of joy, there is an uneasy smile on his face. Still, you are quick to rid him of it.

“That’s incredible! I’m so happy for you.” And you are, beaming from ear to ear, but a part of you aches, just as you know it does for him, for that unborn child. For the world they will surely face.

The fourth time you spoke, it was your fault. At least, that’s what Treech told himself. It was the year of the 14th Hunger Games, and in preparation, the Capitol was running a television program highlighting each of the Districts. It was for that reason Treech told himself it shouldn’t have come as a surprise when the small screen in the corner of the hotel bar filled with Lamina’s face, especially given that she was his District partner and, as he was the only existing victor from 7, an obvious choice for closer study. Still, it didn’t stop the shock from cutting to his core like a knife. 

You had taken the seat beside his, though clearly not intentionally. It was the only place left in the whole bar, and upon your arrival, he had watched you hesitate to even stay, but with the Games set to start in two days, you needed a drink, exhausted by the prospect of another year.

It was as though you could sense his discomfort, gaze clearly flitting in his direction and dragging across his tense form. The television program blared out, filling any gaps in conversation left by the bar’s occupants, and you observed it keenly following Treech’s reaction.

“She seemed kind.” And there you were, attempting to comfort him after all he’d done to push you away.

“She cried a lot.” It is easier than telling the truth. Than admitting he had known Lamina long before the Games. That she was family, a cousin on his mother’s side.

He often saw Lamina in you. In your quiet moments of soft kindness and generosity. Even in moments of fear, watching you steel yourself and move forward in spite of the difficulties. Sometimes, he would imagine a world with no Districts or Games. A world where a gentler version of you who had not been left hardened by survival had met Lamina, and the two of you had become fast friends, spending your days whispering confessions among the branches of the tallest trees or stretched out in a field, you with a pencil and paper and Lamina fashioning a crown of flowers.

“You remind me of her.”

“Because I’m weak?” Your brow furrowed as you gazed down into the drink before you, preparing yourself for the harsh words you had come to expect of Treech.

“Because you’re brave.” He couldn’t help it really, the way it sprang forward from his lips, toppling out before he could fight to keep it in. He suspected somewhere in the wide universe, the spirit of Lamina was laughing at him. That she was somehow responsible for the admission. He hated her for it. Hated himself. Your own face revealed little more than an obvious state of shock, blank blinking eyes staring back at him when he finally summoned the courage to fix your gaze with his own. Your mouth moved, jaw seeming to hinge and unhinge, but nothing came out. Nothing until the soft syllables of his name slipped from your lips in a stilted sort of way, like a sharp breath. 

Treech was on his feet before you’d finished, the remainder of his drink easily downed in his haste to depart, but as he turned one last time to eye the television in the corner, he could have sworn your eyes were brimming with tears.

The final time you spoke to Treech, it felt as though he had something more to say. Like the words he wished to express had caught on his tongue like glue, unable to escape. It was the final day of the 14th Games, five years exactly since your own. On days like that, you forced yourself to remember the things that often felt too painful. The names that sunk like stones in your chest, fading each year into more distant memories. Rye, with his eyes like two wide saucers. Orion, who was so close to victory that he had nearly succeeded in having it. Baron, the boy from back home who’d lost his life within minutes, figure slumped and unmoving in the center of the arena for the remainder of the Games. And, of course, there were others. Brandy and Tanner. Bee and Colt. Rhea and Skinner. Kids from home. Kids just like you. Except here you were, not dead, while they lay, presumably rotting in some mass grave deep within the Capitol’s walls. The thought made you sick.

That year, your fourth as a mentor, your tributes hadn’t even managed to outlast the bloodbath. The second Rochelle’s body hit the ground, you knew it was over, but it didn’t keep you from hoping. Hoping against reason, she would find a way to fight it. To get back up. She hadn’t. And that year, as the buzzer rang out and the bile rose in your throat as it always did, you noted that the pain was less. Less intense. Less crippling. And then the disgust was back again, drowning you, with its aim pointed inwards, armed and ready to feast on your heart. How could you be so cruel? How could you allow yourself to become so hardened and unfeeling? 

Because it is easier. Because there has to be a better way. Because you will never survive this if you cannot learn to leave some things behind. Still, you’d never left a single thing behind your whole life, clinging to every passing thought, person, or feeling like it might be the last. So when Rochelle was gone, signaling your Games had finished, you pulled the small notebook from the inner pocket of your vest and scribbled her name just below Gavin’s with its own set of notes. 

Rochelle. Two sisters, no parents. Lived with her father’s brother and worked nightshifts at the slaughterhouse. 15. Kind. Enjoyed the color green. Was learning to knit with some of the excess wool from her uncle’s work at a nearby farm, sheering the sheep.

Your fingers traced over the list, gently passing each name with the pad of your thumb. So many names. It was easier now to write them down. It was easier now to emote, to feel openly without the watchful eye of the Capitol analyzing your every move just behind Lucky Flickerman. Well, at least without it trained directly on your soul.

A bit further down the bar, Lux sat by herself as well; Beau tucked into the seat beside Trawl, the two having become closer over the years. Maybe even too close, you thought regretfully, mind flitting to a time you had caught the former making a quiet escape from Trawl’s room in the dead of night. Still, you’d bit your tongue, refusing to lecture someone you were aware already knew of the potential consequences. Besides, words often fall on deaf ears when spoken from a position as precarious as yours.

There were three kids left then, each with no alliance in place to keep them safe. A boy from 2, a girl from 5, and Maple, Treech’s girl from 7. She was ruthless, doing little in the way of preserving any image of humanity with her kills, but you understood that there was more than what appeared to pool on the surface. That those who seemed the most heartless were often the most human of all, filled with an unparalleled desperation to return. For a loved one. For themselves, hoping to go back to some semblance of a childhood they would never see again. Your heart swelled for her. For all of them. Still, you’d been doing your best to avoid her mentor since your last encounter. Afraid that he might snap once more, leaving you frustrated and hollow. Or worse, that he might plant some ridiculous seeds of hope as he had with your fourth conversation, calling you brave before disappearing completely. He was infuriating. Aggravating. Annoying, vexing, and completely incensing. 

He was also sitting directly across the bar, arm draped over the seat of the woman beside him with the same lazy arrogance you had come to register as a part of his Capitol persona, a smirk painted light and unshakable across his face. It was as though you could not even recognize the man before you. Still, he looked good. That much, you could easily admit, curls on the lengthier side now compared to the more cropped cut you’d last seen him with. You wondered if they still felt the same, if running your hands through them would still have the intoxicating effect it had years ago. You want to punch yourself in the face for the indulgence of a thought like that, forcing your gaze away with the heat that rises to your cheeks, and just in time, it seems, as the screen switches to capture Maple, finishing off the girl from 5. It is over in a second, and all of the sudden, there are only two remaining. 

Your heart aches for her, the dead girl from 5, without a mentor or guidance, left in the dark. Still, you cannot stop your gaze from traveling across the bar again to fix on Treech, only to find he is already looking at you. The woman beside him has rid herself of all pretense and is curled into his side, back arched like a cat. And yet, he appears almost regretful, eyes trained on your face with the sort of steely focus that rarely graced his features these days. 

Hours later, when Maple does win, pushed over the finish line with the help of several grandiose sponsorships, you can’t say you are all that surprised, no. The real shock comes as you move to exit the bar when a hand catches your forearm within its grasp. You almost ignore it. Almost push to continue on your steady path toward freedom, but it pulls hard, whipping you around, nearly sending you barreling into the chest of your assailant. Treech. And he stands there, blubbering like a fish, features painted with the unsubtle earnesty of a boy. And that alone is enough to stop you in your tracks.

“I– I–”

But not for long. You’d learned your lesson long ago. Wrenching your arm from his grasp, you spin on your heel before he so much as forms a second word, making for the elevator. You would not fall prey to him again. Not now, not ever. In your eyes, Treech was as good as dead.

It was another month before you saw him again, although, on the morning of the Victory Tour’s arrival, you were nowhere to be found within the awaiting procession. Despite the Capitol’s wishes, you’d continued work on the ranch in your free time, and this morning was no exception. Especially considering you’d requested the shift, putting as much distance between yourself and the upcoming ceremonials as possible. 

Just last night, you’d sent notice to the mayor that you’d been feeling unwell, vomiting, and the like, pleading to be kept from the tour for the safety of those involved. He’d kindly agreed, considering your consistent attendance in previous years, and so you’d spent the last few hours with Bluebell, who had grown over time into as much your horse as one could be, walking the ranch’s perimeter and assessing the different pastures for any sign of intrusion the previous night. Finding none, you dismounted, ridding the creature of everything but her bridle and allowing her to graze within your sightline as you sat in the grass, pencil at the ready and sketchbook perched easily in your lap. 

And so the morning passed in easy silence between the pair of you, only returning to the barn just before lunch due to necessity, though you nearly turned on your tail as the building came into view. The form was clear enough from afar, leaned up against the side of the old building, and at first, you felt your chest fill with anxiety, concerned that perhaps the mayor had caught onto your lie from last night to come get you. But as you drew closer, you noted that familiar head of curls you would recognize anywhere, accompanying the lanky form of a young man. Treech.

#treech #treech fanfiction #treech x reader #treech thg #treech tbosas #tbosas fanfiction #tbosas x reader #tbosas #the hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #thg #hunger games #thg series #district 7 #x reader #neabl #no evil angel but love

[kanonavi]

hello tumblr user kanonavi who is 1/3rd of the reason i started rereading tgcf. i have come to collect my personal apology for the emotional damages inflicted upon me for the past 5 days. and i have also come with THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS (mostly feelings)

- icb i put off this reread so long hualian are so romance. theyre jsut Romance......... absolutely floored by every throwaway bit of dialogue they had....... in shambles forever....,

- sqx arc was not as painful as the first few times i read it bc i now stand with my cancelled wife (he xuan) I STILL LOVE SQX AND THEY DESERVE EVERYTHING GOOD. BUT HX WAS REAL FOR ALL OF THAT. i love revenge

- i wanna know your thoughts on ling wen bc u mentioned having mixed feelings on her but i loved her so bad all the way to the end so im curious ljdkdjf

- i am not immune to backstory arc pt2. read it last last (?) night at like 3am and cried myself to sleep its just so gutting every timeeeeeee.... the hc plot that builds in that arc is ofc one of my favorites in the entire novel though :')

- the chapter w the cave of statues took me like 2+ hours to get through because i was feeling so insane abt it

i feel bad dropping this block of text in ur askbox sorry. will leave it there for now LOL

Omg hiiiii tumblr user stardust-make-a-wish welcome back from the yaoi cocaine pit :3 I know you're here to collect emotional damages, but I must make it known that I'm not even remotely sorry <3

Also you should feel bad for yourself instead of for me because I can only respond to huge blocks of text with even bigger blocks of text, so (TGCF Spoilers Ahead) and also I am so sorry lmaooooo

UGH you're so right that hualian is the most romance forever they are just so *clenches fists and sobs*....... They're always there for each other and they're so in love and they've been through so much and I just want them to be able to rest because it's what they deserve.

I will never once say that Hu Xuan wasn't justified in everything he did cuz like. Shi Wudu had it coming what a piece of shit. But at the same time Qingxuan is my wife and I will not tolerate my wife being harmed. So like revenge slay yes but also I am still cancelling He Xuan and spraying him with the water bottle (even though he is already very very damp).

Yesyesyes Ling Wen. So my thought about Ling Wen is that she kinda girlbossed a little too close to the sun, but at the same time you look at her circumstances both past and present and have to understand why she did all of that. It already would have been hard enough for her to gain any kind of recognition as a woman, much less in the Heavenly Court, so her ruthlessness is completely understandable. But at the same time, I don't really think the Brocade Immortal deserved what she did to him nor was taking Bai Wuxiang's side in the final conflict a real cool thing of her to do. I can't fully be a hater though because her own thoughts about everything are clearly so nuanced (See: The final convo she had with Xie Lian about the Brocade Immortal, which I am still thinking so incredibly hard about to this day).

I think that Ling Wen is interesting in the same way that I find other characters like Mu Qing, He Xuan, and Yin Yu interesting. It's in the sense that even if I don't really agree with all of the actions that they took, it's very easy to look at them and come to an understanding of why they did what they did. And I have varying degrees of like for all of the characters I just listed, but that doesn't change the fact that they're all Compelling. So it's almost like a begrudging respect that I feel for Ling Wen, if I were to boil it down into simple terms.

aaaaaaaaaa The Horrors(tm) :sob: Even though I could talk about Xie Lian's arc through that part of his backstory for a million years, you're so right that Hua Cheng's arc through it is also so interesting to watch. It really goes to prove that Hua Cheng is different from everyone else in Xie Lian's life up until this point, because yes there's the very obvious throughline of Hua Cheng wanting to protect Xie Lian (rather than expecting his protection), but even more importantly that feeling never changes even when Xie Lian has his mini corruption arc.

Like, Hua Cheng fell in love with the pure and virtuous Crown Prince of Xianle but not for that quality. Instead of being ashamed and looking at Xie Lian with scorn when he was like "What if I kill everyone actually" Hua Cheng is like "Then let me be your sword". There's the element of not wanting Xie Lian to dirty himself that Hua Cheng carries for the entire story but the point is in that he is not a voice who would tell Xie Lian to stop having those thoughts if it's truly what he wants (Unlike what his parents or Feng Xin and Mu Qing would probably say).

I'm going to write an essay about their character dynamic one day istg I am chewing through the drywall

The cave statues chapter......... *passes away*. Like on one hand that chapter is so funny because yes Hua Cheng is just an absolute certified freak (POV my roommate telling me earlier on in my reading that HC is a porn addict and me being like "pssht noooo" but then getting to this chapter several months later and being like "O h.") but on the other hand THE CONFESSION??????? Like. All I can do is gesture wildly at the storyboard animatic that someone made of that scene on YouTube while absolutely fucking sobbing. There is a reason why the cover of volume 6 felt somehow more intimate than the cover of volume 4 where they're literally making out.

Anyway I'm patting Hua Cheng on the head like It's okay buddy Xie Lian loves you because you're a certified freak, he's seen too much of this world to be weirded out even a little bit. Which is why those two are perfect for each other <3

I'm glad you had so much fun on your reread, have fun with the brainworms :3

#navi answers #stardust-make-a-wish #Once again I am so sorry for my ability to Talk lmao

[beauty-and-passion]

Eurovision 2023: more about the true winner because I said so

Hey, guess who is not over Eurovision 2023 yet.

It’s me, I am who.

I have never been so invested and still so obsessed over this year’s Eurovision. I mean, I am always hit by the post-depressive phase of Eurovision, but that lasts a couple days - during which I usually go through all the beautiful moments and listen to all the songs on repeat - then I’m back to my regular schedule of stupidly long analyses and fanfictions.

(By the way, sorry for all the Americans who follow me and have no idea of what I’m talking about or what happened in this year’s Eurovision. Just bear with me, I will come back to posting Sanders Sides stuff. Just not today)

This year... well, this year was truly something. And if the last year and the one before I was like “aww, what beautiful moments, I miss seeing these people having fun”, now it’s all mushed into one ball of feelings. I look at those artists having fun with the eyes of someone who saw how things went down. I look at them celebrating the true winner after the finale and I have this strange mix of nostalgia and heaviness.

I am not mad anymore for the result. Or better: I am and I will always be because 200 people stepped over the will of millions. But what this loss caused is just so fascinating and so unique, I want to keep exploring it - and maybe talking a little bit more about the true winner of Eurovision 2023 will help me process my feelings too.

Or I just will satisfy my need to ramble more about this incredible Finnish man, either way.

______________________

The sheer power of charisma

When you watch the entirety of Käärijä’s journey on this Youtube channel (and I suggest you do it, because it gives you a lot of food for thought), you notice a lot of interesting details.

From the moment he won the national competition and knew he had to go to Eurovision, Käärijä knew his only rival would’ve been Loreen. He said right from the start that it would’ve ended up with a confrontation between Sweden and Finland. He liked other songs and thought they could’ve been good opponents - but it’s pretty clear he knew the only one who could’ve opposed him was Sweden.

And he knew that Loreen was good. Even though I do not like her songs, even I have to admit she has good vocals. Sure, the vocals are the only thing I understand because she mumbles the rest of the song, but the vocals aren’t bad.

Käärijä knew she was the favorite to win. He praised her performance and called her “queen”, so he has been the first one to recognize her as a worthy opponent. He wasn’t so naive to think “I can easily beat her”.

However, he had some tricks up his sleeves. He knew his song was perfect for Eurovision, he basically designed it for that. He knew his performance would’ve got people’s attention. And he knew he had a lot of charisma.

You can say anything you want about him, but you cannot deny this man is charismatic. And this is a lot interesting, because charisma doesn’t have an exact definition and it’s not the same for everyone. And yet, we can all recognize and identify it as “charisma” when we see it.

The definition Wikipedia offers is that charisma is “a personal quality of presence or charm that compels its subjects”. And it’s undeniable that Käärijä has it. He has that genuine, simple honesty we see in childrens only and this activates our protective instincts, because we feel the need to protect him too. He is funny and makes us smile and everyone loves to smile and have fun. He is simple and humble and that makes him look more approachable and friendly than a superstar.

And his presence on stage is very, very good. He’s eye-catching and he knew it very well. He was the flashiest and the most interesting to look at - both because of his clothes and his appearance. Just compare him to the Cyprus guy: I don’t even remember the Cyprus guy’s face, but I doubt I will ever forget that iconic neon green bolero.

And I am sure he knew that very well. He knew the public would’ve loved him. He knew he would’ve gotten a lot of points because of the public. He knew he would’ve connected with them and not with the jury.

And so it was. The numbers are clear: he was and still is the public’s favorite. His result is the second highest in history right after Kalush Orchestra’s. The entire arena sang with him. During the voting portion, they kept calling his name. Everyone called him “winner”. As the Estonian singer Alika told him: “you had the public when they announced Loreen won”.

And by knowing that, I can understand why he was so bummed. He literally had everything: the perfect song, the charisma, public’s support. And I am pretty sure that, if the public gave more points to Loreen, he would’ve accepted his defeat easier.

But it wasn’t like that: he got more points than her in both the semifinal and the final. He has always been the public’s winner, right from the start. And even if he would've gotten the theoretical maximum of public votes from Europe (432), he still would've ended up behind Sweden.

Losing because 222 people gave your opponent an unbeatable lead isn’t something easy to digest. I mean, it’s been days and I haven’t digested it yet! And I am definitely not a singer, nor I did take part in the competition. However, I voted for him and, well, I am quite pissed that my money got wasted because of a stupid unfair system. The EBU should really refund everyone who tried to vote, considering there was no way to defeat the sheer power of the jury.

So, well, the competition ended with the public’s favorite losing the piece of glass. I will get over it, everyone will get over it. Käärijä himself will get over it - now he’s still rightfully sad about it, but as he said, life goes on.

And he will soon realize that losing the competition turned him into something more than a simple winner.

______________________

The birth of a legend

If Käärijä won, he would’ve been just the winner of Eurovision 2023. People would’ve loved him like they love Kalush Orchestra or Maneskin. Everyone would’ve been happy, a little bit of post-Eurovision depression as always and we would’ve forgotten it.

But losing had an even bigger impact, because Käärijä didn’t step down to second place, but over the first place. Being so spectacularly wronged in front of the world made him ascend to the status of legend and the public went crazy for him. Cha Cha Cha reached the top of Spotify's top 50 global, people from all European countries called him “the true winner” and I’ve seen more than one American, who knew nothing about Eurovision, watch his performance and protest for the result as well.

Even Tumblr was affected by this: the tag Eurovision trended for 3 days after its ending and, after it stopped trending, Käärijä kept doing it for days. And he’s still doing it, so good job people, let’s keep the party going on for a little longer: we all deserve it, after all. You know, as a little FUCK YOU to the jury.

What about Youtube? His grand final performance reached ca. 9 mln views in three days and if you check the comment section, is full of people calling him the true winner as well.

Heck, the Eurovision channel made a video specifically about his journey, like the usually do for winners only (in fact, they did one for Loreen. And Käärijä’s video got more views than Loreen’s in one single day).

And all over Europe people are still protesting and asking for the voting system to change. The Norway delegation asked it first and I fully support them, because they are constantly robbed by the jury. I liked Duncan Lawrence’s Arcade in 2019, but KEiiNO was a completely different level. (And if you loved KEiiNO too, please check their Youtube channel because they have made a lot of other songs and OH MY GOSH THEY ARE ALL GREAT)

Käärijä united Europe with his music and his energy and I understand why Finnish people are so proud of him: there are very few artists who are able to connect people so well. And he did it by using his mother tongue, not English! That’s an even bigger win imho, because it proves that if you have a great song, a strong performance and incredible charisma, people will appreciate you and go past the language barrier without any problem.

That’s why humankind loves music, after all: because it doesn’t need to be understood word by word, to reach people’s hearts.

______________________

The hero’s journey

There are many reasons why people fell in love with this funky green man and they all differ: someone loves his bubbly personality, others were touched by his genuinity, others just fell on the ground laughing and who doesn’t love someone that makes you laugh? And yes, there are some who are just horny for him and you are valid too, because he’s a good-looking man.

However, I think that the main reason why so many people got so invested, it’s because he had the perfect hero’s journey.

He already had a story perfect for a movie, even before starting Eurovision: when he was younger, he was diagnosed with colitis ulcerosa and the disease almost took his life (this post has an interview with all details). But because of that experience, he realized life is short and he should’ve pursued what he truly wanted - i.e. singing. I mean, this alone is perfect material for a movie already.

But now he got another story, and it’s even more like a movie: the story of the young man no one knew, who left his city in his small country, to reach the big European stage. A man with a funny spirit, who connected with everyone despite his broken English - and he wonderfully improved it along the way. Just look at how much more confident he became! Truly a masterful example of how we should just talk and make mistakes, in order to get better in another language.

So we followed the adventures of this funny man and of the friends he made along the way. We had fun and cried for the beauty of his friendship with Bojan (he literally called Käärijä “my new brother” and a small part of my heart that was broken got immediately healed). We got involved in his climbing to the top, we saw him face the behemoth that was opposing him and hoped for him to overcome it.

And he got the tragic conclusion of a hero’s journey: a hero who won and yet still lost.

People love this shit. We have always loved the story of the little one against the unbeatable enemy, the nobody who got the recognition he deserves, the kind heart defeated by the corrupt system. Those are all things that touch people and all aspects of the hero’s journey. And people naturally hope for a happy ending, so if we get a sad, bad or unfair one instead, we tend to feel even more empathetic towards the protagonist. And if your protagonist is as lovable as he is, the feeling is 100x stronger.

I really don’t know if the national juries expected this to happen, when they knew who the public’s favourite was and yet decided to award a different artist. But by doing that, they became the perfect enemy to close Käärijä’s journey and build a legend.

So, well, thanks for sucking so much. You built the legend you didn’t want to.

And yes, Käärijä’s enemy IS NOT Loreen. Loreen did her thing, she didn’t bribe the judges to give her votes. The problem is the jury’s power. So, for all the people who are still harrassing her: please stop hating this woman, she just did what other artists did too.

And since we’re talking about her, please stop saying shit like “She shouldn’t have participated!” too, because this is both very stupid (everyone is allowed to participate in Eurovision) and very disrespectful towards Käärijä himself. It’s a bit like saying that sure, he was good, but, like, you know, not enough good.

And this is totally wrong because this man has been able to defeat Loreen twice, both during the semifinal and the final (at least according to the votes that matter). So stop undermining his ability: he is a good artist. Actually, an artist so good only Loreen was able to compete against him.

And if you still think it’s right to hate Loreen for whatever reason, then I would like to bring this to your attention:

The king literally proposed to Loreen. And, considering how accurate was his foresight about the whole competition, I think it’s time we start to think about when it will happen and how many children they will have.

So if you are still harassing her: stop protesting for the piece of glass and ask her when will they get married, instead. We need to know.

Also, wouldn’t that be an even more perfect ending for Käärijä’s hero’s journey? Not only the great evil (aka the jury) will be defeated, but he will marry the only woman strong enough to oppose him. 100/10 I want a movie now.

And yes, I know Käärijä also proposed to Bojan and they are fathers of a baby sea lion. But what’s the problem? Doesn’t Käärijä have two hands? With one hand can hold Bojan, with the other Loreen, duh.

(Then he will probably need another hand for Selena from Austria, because I think she developed a little crush on him but hey, that’s the life of a hero I guess.)

______________________

Have you listened to his other songs yet?

I just want to confirm they are bops and you should listen to them immediately. Also, do not forget his concert on Saturday that will be available worldwide. Let’s show love to the king.

And yes, that means another post will come out. I mean, there are still so many things we need to know! I want to see the photos of that mural people are doing for him in Vantaa, I want to see the music collaboration between him and Bojan, I want to see them visiting little Edgar at the zoo. And I can’t wait to hear about his future European tour, because he has to do one. And maybe that will fully convey him how big his impact has been indeed.

As people told him in the after party, he conquered the world. Now he just needs to see it for himself.

#eurovision #eurovision 2023 #esc #esc 2023 #finland #jere from vantaa will go very far #good job finland #everyone loves you #and you don't even have to spend money to host the show #also you will be forever linked to the legend #just like ukraine #and that's another huge privilege #käärijä

[aingeal98]

I have like. Two versions of Damian Wayne in my head. I think it's a consequence of getting to know and love him via Morrison's run on him and then wanting to know more, doing research into his mother's side, and being horrified by how racist the retcons made were. It didn't really change how much I enjoy Damian in any significant way, because I liked him for his dynamic with the batfamily and how entertaining he is as Robin. It's just that when it comes to anything deeper than that, about what motivates him, what he internalized growing up, the impact his childhood abuse had on him, anything to do with Ras or Talia really... A lot of writers fail so badly at making it compelling and instead just make me cringe and want them never to touch the al Ghuls again. And so we end up with two Damians:

Damian Wayne aka the Damian I love: Most easily described as an in-character, well written Damian with a solid backstory. Robin Son of Batman and his Robin run both pull this off pretty well. They don't downplay the horror of his childhood but they don't cross over into cartoonish territory either, and they allow Damian to have complicated thoughts and feelings about what he did and what was done to him. You can see how his abuse shaped him without it being shoved hamfistedly down your throat, and I don't come away thinking "I have to ignore all of this no matter how important it is to his character because logically Ras and/or Talia would not fucking do that". Also he's hilarious and makes me root for him whether he's insulting his enemies or electrocuting Jason or dying for the fifth/sixth time. Like that's my son and I can write a million words on his mentality and how it's changed and his opinions on his parental figures and his character development and how he'd interact with x or y character and-

And the second Damian, aka the Woobie Damian. The one you get where hack writers want to give him a sad backstory to justify how Edgy and Badass and Damaged he is and write the most cartoonishly over the top evil Ras and Talia possible. Most recent example I can think of is Tom King saying Ras locked Damian in a box with no water for a week because he didn't tie his shoelaces right. Or Morrison's Talia murdering her own son. Or how SuperSons wrote Talia. And look, it's not that I won't accept horribly, ridiculously evil villains. My favourite character's dad abused her in more extreme ways than even the worst al Ghul writer could come up with. It's that these are characters with already established personalities and traits. Unless they are being mind controlled they would not act like that and do these things. Just like how Bruce Wayne wouldn't lock Dick in a cave and feed him rats. There are ways you can show the impact of growing up in a cult and raised by an evil grandfather and being told repeatedly that you are destined to lead them all into a better world and trained in the art of killing a man. And these writers fail miserably at pulling any of that off. It's as shallow and boring as "You know why I'm mean to you all the time? Because my family taught me love is a weakness. I said mean things to you and stabbed you but my grandfather used to beat me for showing kindness to animals. Don't you feel sorry for me now?"

It sucks. I hate it. Anything with that Damian in it, I automatically filter out of my personal canon. The only way I can think of making it good is if it's like the "Slice the Baby Saturday" meme, where Damian is just bullshitting to see how much he can get away with and deliberately testing his family with stereotypes. But unfortunately those writers are dead serious about Ras making Damian climb up a whole mountain with no safety gear even if he falls and breaks his arm or dies. Because that is definitely something you would do with your one and only heir. They're literally two minutes away from saying Ras gave Damian a puppy and then told Talia to kill it in front of him.

So basically when I say that I love Damian and he's my favourite male Robin, know that woobie Damian is not a part of this conversation. Real Damian I would kill for. A writer puts woobie Damian in front of me and says his mom stabbed him I say let him bleed out so I won't have to endure comics about him anymore.

#dc #damian wayne #talia al ghul #ras al ghul #dc rambles #sorry it's time for my monthly al ghul rant #I bottle it up every time I see a bad Damian comic and then vent it in posts like these #abuse tw

[zoobus]

I'm not normally a victim of FOMO tactics, nor do I usually let being late to the party stop me from chatting about a piece of media but I'm genuinely sad I didn't get into Obey Me/Nightbringer earlier. It makes me want to write a million essays but the disposable and decentralized nature of gacha kind of makes it feel like you missed your chance to talk about it. I keep coming across years old, unrepliable comments that I want to jump on sooo bad but I can't because the moment is gone and most of these people have likely moved on to less overtly money-hungry games.

Which sucks! because one essay I want to write in particular is how this game is extremely skilled in arousing your desire to create, to actively engage with the characters and worldbuilding, to do fandom shit, and I find this enormously fascinating in itself. The story isn't good but to a certain extent, it's not supposed to be; it functions as an elaborate set of writing/art/rp prompts for its audience to expand on and tailor to their needs.

And I think Obey Me does this well! Amazingly well. I find discussion of narrative structure fascinating, the study of how we define writing as effective, good, or as failures, so I'm drawn to this story full of contradicting lore, one-note characters, and half-finished plots. The story isn't good but that hardly matters because it's not here to be a good story; it's here to throw you into imagination boot camp. It compels you to speculate what it could be, what this character could be, what a slightly different tone would look like, what other people think about it. It feels distinct from the average popular show fandoms where, to an extent, creators congregate simply because that's where the people are. Creating for your own sake is nice and all but validation is usually a stronger force. Usually.

I keep coming across old high effort researched posts about abrahamic religions and occultism from fans setting themselves up for inevitable disappointment. I keep coming across creators leaving notes on their work like "I haven't written a thing in ten years, but,". I keep losing it over heartfelt posts defending x and y canon story decisions with their whole chest, oblivious to the fact that they're misremembering their personal tweaks/headcanons as what happened in the game, like it's seriously so cute when they're so passionate and completely wrong.

I have no idea if fandom actually plays a role in the lucrativeness of a franchise (though as a personal anecdote, I 100% started Obey Me after a single piece of horny Mammon fanart crossed my dash), but it makes more sense to me now, less a projection of wishful/haterful thinking from those with strong opinions about Fandom. Maybe it really does matter.

---

Other essays I missed the boat on:

A Casino Right in Your Home: goddamn is the pre/sequel's gacha obscene

Satan: how to put a mid character into S-tier with one simple trick (make him insane)

Sorry Belphie defenders but you're imagining a better psycho than you were given

Solmare added a shiny new rhythm game but didn't fix the now four year old coloring error on Levi's hands lmfaooo the disrespect is crazy

Remember when you saw the Nightbringer trailer of them glaring in bdsm gear with freshly blackened wings, and you thought "ah, so this takes place right after they fought god and lost. After they went to war to protect their sister only for her to die anyway. After one brother in particular saves someone, but not her, the focal point of the war. They will finally take these to their logical, guilt despair rage pain and grudge filled ends." And you were correct until that very last sentence? lol

Remember when the Ruri-chan event gave you the option to tell Levi you're not cheating on him and then the rest of the event was just making out with his brothers? Then it ends with you kissing him in front of them? Bring that energy back!!!

#obey me #obey me nightbringer #niche effortposts #eh kinda. i spent time on it #anyway it's a game that makes you wanna write and draw things and all things considered I think that's pretty cool =)

[slaythespire]

im sorry my tumblr followers who dont know me im mad rn, im just rambling mad under a readmore again thanksss

listen its not that i need to be dating someone im just chilling. in fact rn i would not want to date anyone.

but i HATEEEE HATE seeing people say shit like "You dont need anyone, you should learn to be happy without someone else in ur life! why do you need someone else! just be happy without that!" well damn sue me for wanting someone to deeply love me who i deeply love back!! why is that such a bad thing to want!! obviously if you cant function without being in a relationship that's not good, but people always say that shit to someone going "i feel unlovable and like no one will ever want me" and it feels so meanspirted!! damn!!

its been like almost a year since i got ghosted and i know its annoying to hear people complain abt the same thing over and over again. but its just HARD bcus i feel stupid, and used. i really thought my ex was like, THE person, we talked abt getting married and how we'd combine our last names, abt moving in together, supported each other through everything. when i was in inpatient this person called me almost everyday i was there to say hi and check in on me. i thought my future involved them and then they just dropped me without even an explanation. never in a million billion years did i think that would happen (outside of my bad brain telling me it would, which, well i was right so LOL) bcus they were my best friend of 8 years!!

and its scary bcus it makes me think there must be something wrong with me/"how could anyone ever love me when even the person who dated me for 6 years didnt". and people always say things like "you haven't met everyone who will care about you yet" but what if i have, and my one chance at having a relationship i was so happy in was ruined bcus the other person is a self-obsessed asshole who lied to my face abt so much for who KNOWS what reason. WHATEVER.

i feel like when i make posts like this i come off as an insane person in the "no wonder they broke up with you" way, but i promise im actually normal ive just been very emotionally ripped to shreds by a very bad breakup. barely a breakup bcus it was over TWITTER DM. whatever im just gonna be one of those people that obsesses over fictional characters so much i think were in a relationship.

i just rlly rlly wonder what their reasoning for doing this to me was and if they feel bad abt it. or if they think its funny, or if they just dont care. i also wonder if they think they can just message me one day and apologize and think itll be okay (i dont think this will happen, i used to but i dont anymore)

i lean towards they just dont care, i doubt they even think about what they did lol. i mean i HOPE they feel bad, but i dont think thats true. id be shocked if i ever heard from them again which is just, crazy. 8 years of knowing someone and it ends like that through no fault of your own. i wish i had a screenshot of the break up dm id post it in a heartbeat so anyone who actually read this far would feel whiplash like i do. (filled to the brim with "i love you so much" "i feel horrible for hurting you and i hate that im doing it" "i really care about you" "i hope you stay in my life bcus youre my best friend").

and it makes me really sad bcus OFC we would have stayed friends, i loved them so much that while id be sad abt breaking up i would still want them in my life. (WE EVEN TALKED ABT HOW IF WE BROKE UP WE ALWAYS THOUGHT WE'D STAY FRIENDS). but even in my fantasy world where they reach out after a few years all apologetic and guilty i just couldnt do it anymore.

one more but i don't understand what would compel someone to say all that knowing theyre lying and dont give a fuck about you, like it only comes off as evil and fucked up and cruel to me, so how else am i supposed to take that.

[kaelio]

"armand's relationship with marius is very very complicated and very very interesting but for virtually none of the reasons the fandom pays the remotest attention to" care to elaborate

I could go on and on about it for a hundred pages. I will try to do it in 99.

Okay, okay. So in my mind, their… deal?... is a great example of one of Rice’s sincerely compelling characteristics as a storyteller. People (and people includes me) gnash their teeth about how a considerable number of things that happen in the series are not cleanly thematic or just utterly defy any coherent thematic reading. I always have to be careful of pretending I have any idea what ever went on in her head, but I think this was intentional. And the reason I say that is… let me put it this way. A poor student loves a T/F quiz. Even if you know nothing, the center of your statistical distribution is 50%. The likelihood you will get 100% right is vanishingly small. But it is equal to your odds of randomly getting 0%. (They use this in Spider-Verse if you’ve seen it, but virtually every statistics course will point it out.) Rice did this so consistently, I don’t think it is accidental, because you’d accidentally map to normal narrative convention sometimes just randomly if you were proceeding mindlessly. Her books reject the patterns you are culturally conditioned to recognize in fictional works.

We see this often in scenarios where you’re like…. Okay. Who’s most to blame here, and because of what specific decisions deriving from what specific thought patterns, and what’s the failure point, and who’s lying, and why are they lying, or who’s mistaken, or who has a different interpretation, or is every single person here wrong and why and how could it have been avoided and could it have been avoided, etc. And this is surprisingly realistic; this is the journey you’re likely to take if you read books about history (and why the alt-history genre* appeals to a certain kind of person). What happens to the Roman Empire if Germanicus succeeds Augustus? There will be a lot of different suggestions and none of them will be testable. They’re thought experiments. However, good alt-history recognizes that there will still be unfair, seemingly random events because that’s what actual history is like. (James Clavell actually did grasp this pretty well if you’ve ever read Gai-Jin.)

[*Note: Not really a genre I’m into because I’ve still got straightforward nonfiction to read, but it’s out there.]

Okay, on to vampires!

Anyway, I say that because let’s work backwards on this one. We meet Armand in IWTV. He says vampires should be made from love (sure) although he loves killing them (okay) and loves torturing presumably innocent humans before killing them in mock-performances (of course). Interesting guy! He’s great. Armand is fantastic. So, this is our Armand. In the second book, TVL, we learn a bit more about him and particularly his cult years in the Cimetière des Innocents. Also a time when he is up to some various naughty shenanigans. In the Devil’s Minion chapter of Queen of the Damned we learn he loves stalking and physical violence and being a freak and amassing conspicuous wealth and yadda yadda. Man, isn’t he just delightful? Sorry, I’m just taking a moment to relish this dude. He’s old, he’s powerful, he’s rich, and until Daniel he hasn’t let a single mortal know his name and through that point, there’s no reason to assume he gives one flying fuck about them. I love it!

But. If we think about Marius, what he values, what his preoccupations are, what his (stated but dubious) goals and intentions are, and whether this would have been his, uh, preferred outcome in having made another vampire. Well, no. Something did not go right here. From his point of view. Now, that’s distinct, of course, from hating Armand. Obviously he doesn’t. (“What about the Sybelle and Benjamin thing?” You could unpack that scene for a million years but no matter what Armand says, there’s no hateful rationale that makes sense, Marius’ rebuttal at least makes sense from his point of view [although, like, hello Armand, Marius is not emotionally doing so fucking good at this point in the canon] and Armand gets over it in like 20 minutes. “That shouldn’t have happened.” Okay! It did though. Armand isn’t sure why Marius did it, there’s room for disagreement on who’s telling the truth about their motivations, and there’s even a pretty strong argument based on the canonical outcome it was the correct thing to do so uh. Thanks Rice!)

But like, okay. That’s the point when we have to start going back (with the assistance of TVA and B&G) and try to use them to address some questions. And some of these questions can only be answered by YOU, yes you, the reader-you, because this is going to depend on what your values are, as well as how likely you think certain outcomes were, or how much you believe either of these people. And of course, we also have the immensely fun dimension that TVA is primarily Armand recounting events to David for Benjamin and Sybelle, and B&G is primarily Marius describing things to Thorne. And unlike IWTV and TLV, their motivations for telling ‘their story’ are totally different and neither is intended as a rebuttal to the other. TVA and B&G have some overlapping parts (though both are far from exclusively about that and don’t cover the same time periods as much as people might expect), and those parts have some contradictions, and the nature of those contradictions is again different than say IWTV/TVL.

So here’s some questions:

1.       Should Armand have ever been made a vampire?

2.       How well did Armand understand what he sought in the Blood?

3.       Were Armand’s issues addressable as a mortal? Or, frankly, as an immortal?

4.       Which of Armand’s issues precede coming to Venice and to what extent did his lifestyle in Venice help or hurt him?

5.       What obligations did Marius have? He suuuure failed at least some of them! Which ones should he have expected to go badly and which turned out badly for reasons that he had no capacity to predict?

6.       Should Marius have at least asked Mael to do it instead when he stopped by? (Hey, he might have!) And if Mael had done so, what would this have changed? Vis a vis Marius and Mael, would this have potentially helped them bury the hatchet?

7.       To what extent was Marius genuinely conflicted about bringing Armand into the Blood? To what extent is Marius describing himself as certain and Armand describing him as a mess a function of Marius’ rather complicated self-image with respect to how much he knows what he's doing and how much he's secretly winging it? (And, quite often, whiffing it?)

8.       What is likely to have happened if Armand is graduated out of working for Marius?

9.       How would things have gone if they had not been interrupted by Santino? How would things have gone if Armand had never fucked around with Harlech?

10.   To what extent was this outcome influenced by Marius’ self-destructive obsession with serving The Parents?

11.   To what extent would Armand’s pushback on Marius’ perspective (which is explicitly welcomed) have been good for frankly both of them?

12.   So many more, I could keep doing this.  

The books are just not going to fucking tell you. And you don’t really know, because again, these books—very weird to say this—actually operate on real-world logic, where sometimes shit just happens.

I think it’s totally plausible that their relationship, long-term, is way worse actually if Santino never shows up to fuck it up in the immediate-term. But maybe not!! Maybe Armand finds the human heart he scoffs about. I don’t think so. But it could have happened! Or maybe Armand convinces Marius to chill the hell out on principles that aren’t working and never worked and they’re happier as worse people. Fucking maybe!! But you have to be comfortable looking at a mess like this and going “my take is…” instead of assuming you know what the canon outcome would have been, because who ever accurately predicted the trajectory of a Rice novel when they first read it? I mean c’mon. No way. Any more than you could predict the life of Santa Anna if you didn’t have the benefit of historical retrospect.

It does bug me though, to worry about like, cataloguing the sins of the characters rather than ponder the questions. Because the sins of the characters are both overwhelming and not real and don’t matter except as to how they inform these questions. Does Armand lose interest in vampirism if he’s not getting fucked up on mouthfuls of the Blood? How would Marius ultimately have reflected on his own behavior if he had let Armand die? But instead you have people pretending that like, rescuing a dying enslaved person from a basement is technically “abduction” and it’s like…. Is that what we’re doing? Is that interesting to you? These characters are doing actually terrible things, we don’t have to resort to that kind of nonsense do we? There are way more complex, way juicier shitty, bonkers decisions people are making here. And lying about.

One question I love thinking about though is like, okay. Armand is weirdly chill with Santino! (Who, as a guy who loved his finery, which was explicitly verboten by the standards of the Children of Satan, was sort of a half-assed adherent even at the time he attacked Marius’ palazzo and burned him to a fucking crisp and killed all the apprentices and then press-ganged Armand into serving at the Paris coven.) Super interesting. Marius, meanwhile, is super not chill about Santino, ultimately. But to what extent does Marius resent Armand for not resenting Santino? Now that’s a-spicy meat-ball!

#tvc #the vampire chronicles #annneee riiiiceeeeee

[sang8262]

yall i got more JP thoughts idk what to tell ya

But spoilers! Just in case, for World Tour and Rashid's Master bond level conversations, as well as some unlockables from post-game quests.

idek where to start, I'm just coming back from cheating playing my way through the new World Tour quests lmao

the quest that's important here are the difficult CPU fights they added at the Suval'hal Arena, to unlock World Tour resources and extra goodies for each 'level' cleared.

(un)fortuantely, I won't be going through what's behind each door here, although there are some interesting rewards that I'm sure others will address! anyway, one of the items we receive as a reward quite early on is this 'Absurd Check', which is JP's unique gift item:

"A check for a king's ransom. For use in a tight situation, and not to be casually given away. Someone might love this."

sadly, JP himself doesn't exactly have.. a whole lot in response, but I still think it's interesting. upon giving the check to him, he replies:

"You're giving me a check? I used these all the time for work, once upon a time. A check can be used in all manner of ways... Even if it bounces."

I think this works quite well with one of his earlier conversations/ quests as a Master, where he has us spend a ton of money to partake in the economy. Upon completion, he asks us, "did you learn anything from this experience?"

To which our answer yes/ no doesn't actually matter, since he simply replies the same either way, that "often the promise of a reward is much more valuable than the reward itself". And that's it. He doesn't give us anything or say anything further. Which I'M reading this as JP's idea of a goddamn prank. A small joke. Just casually have us spend a million zenny to make us look like absolute FOOLS. Did you think you were getting a reward for this quest? Did the promise of a reward compel you to follow his orders without a doubt in your mind? He doesn't even care if we learned anything from this endeavor, he made his point and got a good chuckle out of it.

And I think it goes even further, with his second quest he gives you, with the 'intercept a money exchange among the resistance group in Nayshall'. He doesn't outright order us to take the money, or attack them, or anything like that, but he does suggest we 'ought to do something shouldn't you'?

Ultimately, whether we fight the rebels for the cash or not is up to us, and doesn't exactly impact JP much personally either. But I feel like this is exactly the case of "the promise of payment" compelling us to do some heinous (albeit fictional) things.

Whether within the game universe, in which we basically steal that cash from people seeking justice under the corruption JP himself introduced to Nayshall... Or in the real world, where we'd choose the immoral option just to see what happens in the quest story, or for the in-game currency.

WHICH, finally connects to the goddamn check from the update today. All I really wanted to say about that was, how JP probably also used money, checks, or the promise of reward to manipulate his way through the criminal underground. Even a check that bounces, still has the promise of payment until you realize you've been had by that darn smooth talking Johan Petrovich.

i haven't even started with his cameo in Rashid' Master Bond conversations i'm so sorry lmao

but LOOK there he IS!!!

LOOK AGAIN!!

I kinda already talked about what Rashid says of JP, in the conversations, so I'll be brief in this post:

JP's public persona is a bit too squeaky clean, given his position of power, which Rashid thinks is suspicious af. And he's right, of course.

But Rashid really is surprised by how JP is so unlike the rest of Shadaloo's officers, at least, when he wants to be. The comics again, showcase how he operates his schemes and deceives everyone so well. His kind, philanthropic, sophisticated older gentleman act is too good.

But yeah, I just love this art, wow,,, he's literally sparkling and glowing with a rainbow and everything,,,,

And it wasn't much but, we got the favorite gift conversation we were missing with this update so, I'm glad they put it in.

#sf6 jp #jp rambles #very though vomit my apologies #sped through world tour instead of sleeping so im a bit loopy

[sodrippy]

hi val! you consistently have the most correct film opinions, so i must ask: what is the best movie you've ever seen? (and additional question: is the best movie you've seen also your favorite movie or is there a difference?) lots of love to you!!

hi! oh god thats such a big question and im so ill equipped for it! theres a million ways you can define 'best' and while ive definitely watched some things that are so technically brilliant and well planned i um. well i cant think of any right now.

gut reaction the first two films i thought of upon reading this are the godfather and parasite, and i really do think those are two of the best films ive ever seen in my life. theyre both incredibly well executed and compelling and iconic.

the godfather is also one of my most loved films of all time, and im still as invested when i rewatch it. i always forget the pacing is so tight bc you remember movies by the Big moments right but in the godfather almost every scene is one of those moments. parasite is IT though honestly, its still among the most mindblowing films to me bc i went into it not knowing a single thing about the plot so all the twists were completely fresh. obviously aside from this its sooo well thought out and extremely detailed and executed perfectly.

spotlight for two films i think are really really interesting and more people should watch are la haine (1995) and mustang (2015) which are french and turkish respectively. theyre both really compelling and have something to say, yknow.

a lot of my favourite films have twists that i found were well executed or cool, like shutter island or cabin in the woods, or just stayed with me for years past when i watched them, like oceans 11 (unironically best movie of all time forever. btw.) or princess mononoke which i only saw last year but fell completely in love with.

MWAH thanks for asking this sorry i left out five billion Best films i havent seriously watched films for five years but it was really fun to think about this!!

#ask #anonymous #speaking of parasite snowpiercer was also insane #speaking of shutter island the departed was also insane

[miqolena]

6.4 Tataru's Grand Endeavor Thoughts

I'm not usually the type to share my thoughts on media so soon after consuming it because how I feel is usually just that - feelings, not thoughts - but I feel compelled to share how I felt for anyone who's curious. So I figured I'd think about it some and post what I decided here - posting on twitter before the embargo drops means jumping through annoying spoiler hoops like rot13 etc. Anyway here we go.

I'm not the kind of person who takes screenshots while I go through content for the first time. I find it distracting and cumbersome to look out for Photo Moments and capture them when my character isn't blinking or something. I'd rather focus entirely on what's going on. So I don't have many pictures to go with this, sorry!

I thought the premise of the conflict was neat enough. Like, someone stealing a giant mech? Oh boy, I wonder what's going to be the deal there. But I didn't like the Valens lookalike thing. It felt really... cheap. Like you bought a nice dress at the store but you need to buy one more thing to get a discount so you pick out something ratty and inexpensive but fine, and now you have them both, for better or worse. I was really hoping when Gaius struck him down that he had passed unilateral judgment upon him and killed him outright for the trouble. But New Gaius wouldn't do something like that, of course.

I enjoyed his characterization still. The writers didn't have him depart from his severe and even nature, his frank way of speaking. I was terrified that they would throw a curve ball at me that screamed "You've been doing it wrong for half a million words!!" but that didn't happen. I don't know why I worried. (I do know why. It's because I worry about everything.)

The painting was nice. Like a few other bits, I'll have to make adjustments to fit my canon when I write this in, since in my work Allie carries the memory core in a hip satchel made by Cid at nearly all times, which means it couldn't have been used by surprise to create the projection. I could take this opportunity to let her detach herself from it a little, though. Much to decide.

Gaius' (badly paraphrased) "words are hard sometimes, thanks a bunch" remark near the end really warmed my heart.

Overall it was okay. I didn't come out of it sobbing or overjoyed or anything but I did come out of it relieved that nothing overtly bad happened. Relief colors the whole experience; I anticipated the patch as one anticipates a blow to the body, not knowing where the strike would land. And I left 6.4 Tataru's Grand Endeavor feeling as though nothing had hit me after all.

I'm looking forward to trying to twist the story to maybe be something better than what it was, especially with my canon of tensions between Garlean refugees, Ala Mhigan Resistance soldiers, and Werlyt troops. Maybe the one who steals the mech won't be a Valens lookalike at all... maybe the nature of the theft will be dramatically different. We'll see.

As our supreme director says, please look forward to it.

PS: Gaius has a new idle after the quest is over where he is engrossed in a book, one leg folded over the other. It's adorable. Thank you for this food, devs.

#ffxiv #6.4 spoilers #lena thoughts

[1moremilgram-enjoyer]

Damn now other people are starting to send asks...I need to up my annoyingness ante more /joke /lh Kazui and Amane will be the last two I ask about since you already did posts on them, and Es and Jackalope will be the next one, so as I see it the next one on the list isss...Yuno! She's currently fighting in my mind to turn my favorite quintet into a senary because one of my friends really likes her and it kinda got me to analyze her more, so I'm interested to see what you think !

Yeah I don’t why why everyone suddenly started sending asks I wonder who gave them that idea Õ_o /j /lh

CW: Abortion, sex work, suicide.

Uh… so you know when I said Shidou was the character I thought about the least? I… may have deadass forgotten Yuno existed when I said that ngl. I’m sure I’ll go insane over her when I get to analyzing her videos more in depth, but for now she’s kinda flown right under my radar. I’m sorry, I just weirdly can’t find it in me to care much about her. Obviously it's perfectly fine for others to enjoy her, and I don't think there's any major issues in her writing, it's just I can't get too invested.

I mean, it’s sorta similar to the Mahiru situation for me. It’s implied by the fact she really doesn’t seem to care about money that she was engaging in compensated dating just for fun, which… I just can’t relate to, I don’t like sex or dating. But sure, stay safe and slay or whatever.

(T1) Q20: The most expensive thing you've ever bought?

Y: What did I buy? I think a stuffed animal.

(T2) Q7: What would you do if you receive One Million Yen and you must spend right now?

Y: I'd have a nice meal with my family, then give them to my friends.

Now, I actually could sorta relate to her whole deal about always seeking “warmth” because she always gets bored of things easily (I think that’s what’s going on anyways).

(T1) Q24: Do you have a future dream?

Y: I wish I can find something I can really get absorbed into.

Me before DRDT and Milgram.

However, I just feel like it’s not explored in a very interesting way? She's not exactly Veronika Grebenshchikova you feel. Maybe I’m missing something, but “bored girl finds a hobby” is not the most compelling storyline in Milgram. Am I supposed to be scandalized by her compensated dating? Cause I’m not. I’m not gonna tell her how to live her life.

You could argue there's maybe safer and possibly better things for her to get into, but any actual discourse which could exist around that part of her story comes from the subject matter more than Yuno, if that makes sense. And I'm just personally not very informed in the whole subject of compensated dating, plus I find it a bit uncomfortable to research too much for personal reasons, so I feel like I can't fully immerse myself in it.

Which gets us to her “murder”, and I’m gonna be honest, I feel there’s some kinda culture shock thing going here. Because a big part (read: the main damn point) of her second VD is that it’s stupid we try to justify her actions for her, that we pity her without knowing the full story, that she doesn’t want to hear our excuses for being forgiven, etc…

Tear Drop: Feeling magnanimous? INNOCENT? I'm so not that

(2nd VD) Y: Even if I was scorned by you, I would have been okay with being told I'm not forgiven. I don't believe I'm not in the wrong. I'd accept it.

So she doesn’t think she’s innocent necessarily. She speaks vague on purpose, but that’s what’s she’s getting at. She thinks if we vote her innocent it must be because we’re looking down at her or assuming things about her life which aren’t true, it’s the main point of Tear Drop.

But… We don’t need excuses, Yuno. You did nothing wrong.

I usually say that as a joke, but here it’s just true. And any kind of moral ambiguity which may have existed is completely thrown out the window by the fact we’re comparing it to actual first degree murder. Girl we forgave the fucking organ harvester three numbers away from you why do you think we need excuses to forgive you? Innoing her is the easiest decision in all of Milgram imo.

Like I said, possibly a cultural issue? It’s not like I live in a particularly progressive country, but in the online circles I run in its very much accepted abortion isn’t murder. Yet, that’s not what she believes.

(2nd VD) Y: I have no intent to say abortion isn't murder. I'm a respectable murderer.

Or… does she?

(2nd VD) Y: To the extent of understanding the feeling of actually taking a life... I couldn't feel that that was a life. A discomfort and…the sensation of a foreign body….

Girlboss make up your mind.

The point is that she even regrets what she did, and wishes she could have prevented it.

(T2) Q10: If you could turn back time, would you commit the same murder once again?

Y: I'd make sure that I won't have to commit it. That's it.

In any case, I hope I'm making some amount of sense, and I can get across why I struggle to really get invested in analysis of her. Sorry.

Of course, voting isn't the only aspect of Milgram, but I also just don't find her personality and character arc all that interesting. Personal opinion, I don't think it's badly written or anything, but I just find it significantly less interesting than other characters.

That said, the most interesting thing to me is that she might be dead?

Y: Oh! Also, that reminds me, there was one thing I'm curious about. Es: What? Go ahead and say it. Yuno: Am I…really alive? Es: That's…what do you…. Yuno: Hm…if you don't know, then it's fine. Es: Yuno…. Yuno: Hey, it's time, right? Es: Y-yes. Prisoner number 2, Yuno. Sing your sins.

That's peculiar. Given the Haruka suicide theory I brought up in my post about him, it's definitely a possibility she's dead. It's possible she went through an unsafe abortion, given this question:

(T2) Q20: Did you hate the person you killed?

Y: It was too much of a pain to for me to think about anything.

So there's potential death one. Potential death two is her Undercover silhouette shot.

Given I have no idea what the deal with this scene is, it's possible she jumped from here? I guess she does fall from stairs at the end of Umbilical, although she lands upright, though maybe that's her landing in Milgram? The issue with this suicide idea is this answer:

(T2) Q17: How many years do you want to live?

Y: About 40 years would be just right, I think.

... Okay, well, that's a concerning answer, kinda wish we got a bit more insight into what the deal is with that, but the point is she's currently not forty, so.

Anyways, that aside, I don't know what else to say. Yuno really hasn't rotted my brain as much as the other prisoners, so, uh, sorry I can't go any deeper atm. I feel kinda bad I can't say anything more positive since you clearly like her (_ _). Hope it's alright! Take care!

#yuno kashiki

[togamicrying]

honey you e got a big storm coming

35, 39, 47, 48, 51, 56, 83 hee hee

MAPLE.

35. A character who should’ve got more character development?

like. sooooo many of them lol. can i say the entire cast of v3? because honest to god that's my answer -- even my faves in v3 leave Something to be desired

beyond that, i actually think that thh and gbd do a really good job of stretching characters to their maximum narrative utility before killing them off, and i do feel like in both games the most narratively flexible ones are the ones who live. i think if i had to say anyone from those games it'd probably be leon or sayaka just because the way the free time events work in trigger happy havoc work mean they get like three events and then they die and you never get to know more lmfaoo (but even then i still don't think their characters are Lacking in the way that the v3 cast is for me. sorry for being a v3 hater lol)

39. Smartest murder plan?

komaeda's, obviously LMFAO. god every time i replay sdr2 chapter 5 im struck by it all over again. like they literally had to guess!! even with nanami revealing herself! even then! they still had to be like well. hope his luck actually worked out! king popped off and the entire trial is SO good for advancing the plot and tying off hinata's dynamics with BOTH komaeda and nanami! the moment of sickening clarity when hinata realizes that he DOES understand how komaeda's brain works, and knows what his intentions really were? nanami and hinata's final goodbye? uuuugh sdr2 chapter 5 i love youuuuu.

rest under the cut bc Long.

47. A headcanon you have about a character?

*pushes two million unfinished drafts of Togami Headcanons to the side* i am going to talk about komaru. i think she's a butch lesbian and every time she's depicted as feminine in fanart my soul dies a little even though butch komaru exists solely in my head. i also think she's really sporty, but i've talked about that elsewhere hehe.

ok i'll talk about togami a little bit. it's 100% projection but i think he's agender. not in a way where he like. actively thinks about it -- even at Full Self-Actualization i'm not sure if i ever see him actually realizing it and actively thinking about himself in that way -- but i just dont think he as any particular connection to being a *man* outside of how it plays into his attraction to other men/his family's expectations of producing heirs. like he just kind of is how he is and doesn't feel compelled to make any particular effort to present as masculine. i could make a joke here about his gender just being Togami, but genuinely i do think that rings true. he's not a boy or a girl but a secret third thing (byakuya togami™️) does this make sense. like. to anyone (<- projecting and insane) whatever. i think he would look nice in a floor length skirt.

48. Favourite OST?

i... usually play the games on silent :X legit i know like 3 songs including mr monokumas lesson. just tried to remember what beautiful days sounded like and the wii sports theme is what my brain supplied (<- embarrassed)

i WILL say that i think drv3 has the best opening track of any of the games. its so jazzy and fun hehe

51. Character you thought you were gonna dislike but loved in the end?

mmm. hard to say, honestly? it's been so many years since i formed first impressions of the thh and gbd casts that i kind of dont even remember what i first thought of them? i have a lot of v3 characters who i thought i would like and wound up feeling kind of ehh about, but that's not the question lol

i think, Big Terrible Writing Choice aside, i was really surprised by how much i wound up actually *liking* korekiyo? like okay OBVIOUSLY they took his character in a terrible direction but before that when he's just like, a weird little freak? that ruled lol

in terms of characters that i've had full turnarounds in opinion over the course of 2012-2022? i remember not particularly liking/caring about kirigiri, sayaka, fukawa, souda, or gundam when i first read the playthroughs of their games, and now they're some of my favorites hehe. but that's less about me going *into* the games thinking i wouldnt like them -- because in both cases i went in completely blind -- and more about them growing on me like a fungus over successive playthroughs lol

56. Best free time events?

ok. take this with a grain of salt because i'm stalled out in my sdr2 replay rn so i haven't redone the free time events for that game in awhile/haven't done any v3 ftes besides maki's and ouma's because im a hater.

i think kirigiri has really good fte's. i love that she gets a little sillay in them and how subtle her progression from "why are you talking to me" to "i care deeply about you" is. i also really appreciate how the game cutting her off as an option for free time at certain points serves to make that progression feel really natural with the game's actual plot. love you miss kirigiri.

mondo's are really great as well, he's such a fun guy to interact with and him talking about wanting to be a carpenter and loving his stupid tiny dog and being too nervous to ask girls out all add such levity to his character and make it SO sad when he dies. like damn that biker gang leader trapped in a murder game really is just like. some guy in high school :-( i also loved that they brought him wanting to be a carpenter back in dr:s! made my heart soar uuuuugh i love you mondo, sorry i never ever talk about you

komaeda gets an honorable mention for his botched love confession. buddy you did So Bad.

83. Least favourite chapter?

[staring myself down in the mirror] i will not hate on v3 this time i will not hate on v3 this time i will not hate on--

chapter 4 of v3 was soooo boring guys. i hated the virtual world and idk if it was just me but the controls for it were just. nightmarish. whatever lets talk about the games i do like.

i also agree with @ovidiomedes about thh's c3 kind of dragging. it's one of my favorite trials, but the actual chapter is. really slow lol. i think part of that is due to the anticipation of chapters 4-6 which are some of my all time favorites across all three games, but i think it has larger narrative problems that contribute to that dragging feeling ://

#op #asks #THANK YOUUU MAPLE THIS WAS SO FUN

[nessacousland]

You just had to make me hooked on a new rare pair...

Your series is incredible and now I'm planning an AU where Finn and Ariane are the ones recruited by Duncan, among one or two others.

What other characters do you think are underrated? I'm going for the Wardens being a ragtag group of outcasts and semi-sane people.

Sorry... You kinda got me back into Dragon Age after six years.

Ahhhh, I'm so happy that I've been successful in spreading my Ariane/Finn rarepair agenda! 😊 Your AU idea sounds really cool, I'd love to read it someday. <3

More underrated DAO characters, now that's an interesting question. I don’t think there are any I’m as invested in as Ariane and Finn. And most of these won’t fit your criteria I fear, but for simplicity's sake I'll just list anyone that comes to mind right now:

I always thought Aneirin, Wynne's former apprentice, is really interesting as a character. A hell of a life that he's had, from the Alienage to the Circle to the Dalish and never quite fitting in anywhere, as fond as he is of his rescuers.

There's hardly any characterization there, but I really liked the Ash Warriors as a whole and it's sad they never popped up again in DA.

I'm really fond of Slim Couldry, he's half elven, he's a good-hearted fence trying to get back at the corrupt nobility, a whole character, but a majority of Wardens won't ever see him in their games :/

In a tragic way, I find Keili very interesting. She's an apprentice at the Circle who has been so thoroughly religiously brainwashed that she's filled with self-loathing and fervently prays to be rid of her "curse", even going as far as saying that the templars should kill them all for being mages. As unrealistic as it is considering what we know about the Circle, I like to imagine a journey of healing and unlearning that toxic mindset is possible. :(

Lily. I was more or less indifferent to her during the mage origin, but her World of Thedas excerpt really made me feel for her and wish that her story continued.

Piggybacking off of that, Jowan himself, of course. Though I guess he’s popular enough and as such not underrated.

Shianni by virtue of me loving her so much that any adoration she receives is still underrating her. 

Also, Soris. I think his relationship with the Tabris warden is compelling and I found it interesting that he ends up with a human wife in one of the epilogues (how did that come about?)

I feel like Gorim could have been more than the guy who yells ‘dwarven crafts’ on repeat, considering everything that went down in the Aeducan origin

It’s been a million years since I played the DLC, but I remember liking Sketch a lot (and Tug, RIP)

Velanna is massively underrated imo, but she has her role in Awakening, so...

Yeah, I’m definitely forgetting people and this list is likely not very helpful to you, but that’s all I can think of right now. Sorry :o

And please don’t apologize for reaching out, I’m always happy to hear from others. Tbh, DA has never not been on my mind in some way over the last eleven years, but I probably wouldn’t have gone as hard and made this blog without getting invested in Ariane/Finn last year. So I totally get it. :)

#dragon age #ariane/finn #witch hunt squad tag