#i have a 3 day week and i cant even make myself do that much

[fumrell]

I REALLY don't want to go to school today. Energy and motivation machine broke.

#i cant even get out of bed #i feel exhausted #i have a 3 day week and i cant even make myself do that much #vent

[lunarharp]

lazy scribbling of my baldur's gate 3 characters

#*emerges from 430 HOURS of life-changing playtime blearily like a lost and confused kitten* #i lost my interest in drawing bc everything is too sad & horrible right now. it was a luxury and privilege to lose myself in this instead #what follows will be my personal and trivial emotions about that #i'll do better proper drawings later. for me. they are both so very dear to me... deeply dear...unforgettable journeys of fate #truly have played like one possessed for the past few weeks. you have no idea. what do i do now. what do i do. #their personalities are so vivid to me though they mostly made the same choices. both intersex and they/them - canonically <3 #i missed out on FOUR PARTY MEMBERS in my first playthrough due to not understanding anything whatsoever. #gloaming ended up with wyll and pavane romanced karlach and astarion. and ended up with the one i did NOT plan on. this wasnt the plan #one of the most fulfilling romance paths i've ever..i cant say more..it all got too immersive and now i have to just.. MOVE ON ?????????? #live in THIS world where i can't gut imperialism personally and emerge alive from that? #without Long Resting? without my character requesting a kiss from their beloved after a tough day ?? #without preparing my little spells? without channelling divinity from my death god to keep us all alive? #without dyeing my man's clothes fancy colours for him? without him Approving whenever i lie and double-cross our enemies #without sharing clothes with my ex? without choosing to eat the heavy food first so that the weight is easier on her Carrying Capacity? #without orchestrating ways for all of my friends to kill the abusers that ruined their lives for a decade or even 200 years? #without experiencing degrading horrors on a daily basis but in a cathartic way where we always make it back to our rooms at the inn #WITHOUT SPEAK WITH ANIMALS??????????? #at least there's music. just like with persona 5 that will always be with me. always #like how p5 melodies take me back to those feelings. those rich and personal feelings.... BUT THIS WAS A WAY MORE NUTS EXPERIENCE #i thought i would hate it. i did at times. thought it would desensitise me to various things. it did. but there was so much more..it was... #Well anyway *continues my life* imagine if dnd was real..something to think about

[kimmkitsuragi]

"if i finish this i will watch a horror movie" thing kinda backfired it's 9pm lmao

#will i still do it. yes. probably. #it would probably be more fun in the night too so yeah #but god fucking damn it can i please just finish this thing #i cant even be properly mad at myself because ive been Actually Working in these last days lol #at last!!! #it feels like i can actually finish the whole thing next week :') #i started this at the beginning of September goddddddddd 😭😭 #if i took it more seriously from the start it would've been done by now lol #but i guess at least im making progress #i am kinda getting nervous thinking abt deadlines and actually applying even tho i still have like a month for one school #and 2+ months for others lol #there's one in italy that's earlier than that but not sure if i wanna go for that one tbh so........ idk #but since it's wayy cheaper and i dont have many cheap options and i fear the same thing (aka not being able to go bc #of money) will happen again this year lol #so yeah just. not sure in general. #if i think too much about any of this i start to question everything anyway lmao so i shouldnt <3 #i gotta visit my old uni to talk abt some letters too which i Know for a fact they would write #but it's so nerve wracking to think about butttt i gotta do it this week/early next week so..... #(this week means actually the next week in this case i guess lmao since it's friday rn) #bc they said 2 weeks notice sooooo im guessing that would be okay but u knowwwwwww ugh #okay. my goal is to just do this thing today #then finish the whole project tomorrow #then do the other readjustments for the other projects in a few days hopefully #then go to school #yeah. doable. perfectly doable #i gotta arrange the (redacted) and (redacted) meetings too lol buttttt yeah #🗒 #wow i didnt intend to write this much tbh anyway

[petitgalaxy]

.

#btw this isn’t like a sad vent i just can’t sleep and figured i’d talk on here for a bit #so i have an ear infection (pain i wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy fr it is so bad) #and the pain for the first 3 days was AKSJQJWJSJJAJAJAJSJWJSJSJSJSHSJSJSHSH like i was writhing in a hot bath with my eyes shut #gripping the tub walls and shit couldn’t play music or anything to distract myself bc it hurt too bad #and i went to doc the day after it developed and got antibiotics and was taking a shit ton of ibuprofen and acetaminophen #and the pain reduced a lot after those first few days (thank fucking god. the only thing more painful that i’ve experienced was foot surgery #and that was on my bones). but my ear is completely clogged #can’t hear shit at all and for the past week it’s been draining tons of disgusting pus and other fluids #like fucking soaking and staining parts of my pillow from all the liquid 🤢 #but i finished my course of antibiotics and was trying to go abt my life #messaged the doctor after a while like ‘hey i’m done with the antibiotics and the pain is better but i cant hear anything #and i’m literally leaking everywhere all the time’ and they were like ‘your symptoms will resolve w time’ and i said ‘how much time’ #and they said ‘weeks idk’ and i was like fuck alright but i guess this isn’t that bad #and THEN the day before yesterday i was eating lunch and noticed that my bottom lip felt numb or something like weird #and i kept having to wipe drool and food off the corner of my mouth which is not normal for me and it was freaking me out #and by evening by eye is constantly watering and i can’t figure out why like there’s nothing in it to irritate it #and the next day i go to work and by the time I’m done with work I’m like this is not right and bc i’m a hypochondriac i’m like #‘am i having/did i have a stroke’ and so i go through the FAST stroke symptoms thing (face / arms / smile / time) #and i realize that i cant SMILE like the right side of my mouth will not do it and it’s all lopsided so i freak out and call my mom #she’s not sure that it’s a big deal at first but then she’s like okay make a dr appt bc something is up #so i call dr and luckily there’s an urgent care w our insurance that’s still open and she takes me there an hour later #turns out 1) the ear infection never went away and it’s still swollen and inflamed to all hell 2) i’ve developed swimmer’s ear on top of it #(which i’ve had many times before when i was an active swimmer so that’s not that bad) #and 3) and most importantly i’ve developed something called bell’s palsy which is partial facial paralysis #caused by the infection damaging my facial nerves #so the right side of my face (infection side) is partially paralyzed #most noticeably in my bottom lip and my eye #in that i am having trouble doing things like blowing air out of my mouth #sucking on a straw or eating food (soup was a nightmare) or smiling or drinking etc #and my eye can’t fully close bc the muscles don’t work so i’m constantly crying out of that eye and it’s getting more and more irritated

[yatiso]

entering my mostly sober era fr this shit kindve rocks ngl

#🍒 #i like to drink its fun but i drink too much and w out purpose. same goes for weed #i think if i didnt indulge in one or the other or both every night and only like once or twice a week. id be a lot happier :3 #alcoholism OVER pot head era OVER #cant do the things i love to do most when im drunk or high all the time and it finally seems like right place right time for me to realize #i can stay up and read tonight…. ive been pretty much only reading at work bc its the one time i cant be drunk or high all thru out #ok. like my world just got a little bit bigger #i need you guys to realize how big this is for me ive drank like every night for the past year #also not Indulging every night will make the times i do more enjoyable #this is like. basic common sense but its like a revelation ive been working up to like i was a teenage alcoholic and an adult achie haulic #alchie hydraulic… that was gona be my joke. dammit… #anyways it feels really good to not be high or drunk rn usually i loathe it and hate it but rn. it feels like sunshine :3 #uhm. this might be cringe but idc ! been obsessed w drugs and booze my whole damn life ! am finally realizing! having a moment here ! #okay no more tumblr diary posts im gona. get some ice cream even tho its not my day off (when. i usually let myself have some) and im gona #read and have fun and eventually fall asleep very peacefully :3 good night tumblr

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ay ay ay. my head feels like its stuffed completely full of cotton. bulging at the seems #its just that wrung out ive been crying too much feel. i just had to do a bunch of application stuff yesterday night #and there were way too many tears so i work up out of focus with salt in my eyelashes. so i wasnt that productive despite the fact i really #need to b rn. and i met with my boss for our weekly meeting and its just so many things i have to do #like theres this procedure for some new equipment we have and im testing it out but like she wants to see it in action and im like treading #close to dangerously unstable so the chances i burst into tears in public is quite high which is why i hide in my apartment and only go to #the lab when no ones there. but no im prob gonna have to go in Thursday and have to go drive like and hr away next week so we can hopefully #have all the equipment we need for another project thats gonna kill me. plus we got contacted by a group we were gonna work with last year #who wanna work with us again. which is objectively good like itll look real good on a cv to b involved and like even non science ppl would #prob find it cool. but i csnt feel any of that bc i dont kno how im gonna be able to go back and forth contacting the other lab group i #have to work with in order to do everything. which its like itll b fine #ive done it before. 2 of the 3 things i have done before so itll be fine. it just doesn't feel like it #it feels like im dissolving into pieces and everythings spinning too fast. theres a film between myself and everything else so i cant touch #anything and it cant touch me. #and its weird bc i know that burning myself out is what got me here but i still cant detatch myself from the soul crushing guilt of not #making every second productive. its disorienting bc my brain will b like: u should just stay here over break and get stuff done #and like no. thats objectively the worst thing i could possibly do. i just feel like a wet glob of paper towels. ive already committed #myself to only 13 days being gone. only have to trudge through like 21 days 1st. how? no idea #like im sure itll b fine but somethings gotta give before my brain implodes beyond repair. if were not there already #ay everytime my boss says something nice abt me to someone it just feels like a knife in the gut. like shes not lying but i just feel like #ive fallen so far that shes talking abt a past verson of me and it makes me sad. like idk how obvious it is but im sure i have terrible #vibes irl lol like the sort of pained twisted up little smiles u make when u dont wanna lie but u dont wanna b honest ay #itll b fine. i can feel the floorboards giving way so somethings close to giving just have to see where and in what form the metaphor #actulizes. hopefully it does so quickly bc im bored and tired of living like this. and i dont really wanna go home and explode into tears #like a child and have my parents deal with me. which they would bc theyre great. i just dont wanna worry them sigh... #unrelated #i should sleep bc i gotta get up and burn my brain out being a scribe tomorrow morning. at least i get to hang out with someone cool

[toastsnaffler]

I slept rly deeply last night even tho it took me a while to get to sleep but I think that was bc I had acid reflux and I'd been playing videogames too late not anything else.... still only got 6 hrs but doing pretty okay all things considered 😚

#and not feeling sick this morning so im sticking w the higher dose for one more day. my heart rate does feel a little uncomfortably fast #but its tolerable. just gonna make notes of how it goes through the day and ill submit my review form to my dr this evening #and hopefully she'll give me the green light to drop back down instead of continuing to titrate up #this is making me think of those heartrate fetishists... do u think i could make money selling tachycardic heart recordings online #i do wanna try to exercise this morning while i have energy. might take the bike out it looks like a gorgeously sunny day #maybe ill try to map my cycle route to work so i can consider cycling there instead of taking the bus in a couple weeks.. #i cant atm thp cuz they have scaffolding up and its blocked off the bike racks sadly 😔 #i think making myself eat + drink as much as i can has helped control the nausea too. just need a lot of fuel to process meds properly ig #and a lot of sleep.. its a bit stressful to think abt how rigid im going to have to be abt my daily routines if i want to stay medicated #but to be honest i have a pretty rock solid sleep/meal routine already bc its the only way i can function with the hours i work #so like. i dont rly need to worry too much. i think i reacted badly the first couple days bc my base anxiety was high #and then bc that feeling was heightened by meds -> made me not eat/sleep properly -> knock on sickness the next day #but yeah still the side effects arent very nice and i dont wanna take the risk of it exacerbating every difficult emotion i deal with #but fingers crossed bc 30 worked rly nice for me and i had barely any side effects so hopefully i can settle w that long term 🤞 #we will see.... #ANYWAY. sorry for making the same post over and over the last couple days. talking abt it on here has helped me feel a lot calmer #i dont wanna bother ppl irl w every thought and physical symptom i experience hourly. but this is my blog i can do what i want #hope everyone else has a nice sunday <3 #.diaries

[foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland]

I hate it when my parents try to defend our country n its history by saying theres been times we didnt colonize the world and fuck over everyones lives and try to kill minorities and hate the poor and just absolutely be full of fucking evil. Like yes rn is worse than other times but times before now have been pretty fuckig shit and i dont think trying to defend puritand is getting u anywhere

#vent #day thoughts #night thoughts #putting both bc its like evening so its both rn #ugh ive just been like #in such a fucking depression pit for the past like 3 weeks specifically #and now when im thinking maybe im getting out of it #i argue w my parents again #i fucking hate tories sm #like i cant even exist rn for somehow feeling guilty #bc idk #i wish i stopped having strong views on like the politics n shit of this country #bc of how much theyve fucked up #bc like im a teenager so i should literally just stfu and stop getting pissed at basically a wall #all im gonna do is end up making myself miserable #but sometimes i rlly do hate my parents sm #like my dad spends half his time complaining abt the tories #and the other half complaining abt the ppl the tories complain abt #like pick a fucking side simon u cant pretend ur a good person while actively making classist comments #fucking dick

[rohirric-hunter]

I'm going to have to establish a boundary with my scheduling manager. I have a part time job and she regularly has me working 5 days a week. And that's just not gonna work.

#i should be able to have a full time job and work only 3 days a week to be quite honest #the words do not exist to express how much i miss my 12 and 10 hour work days #unfortunately all the security companies around here suck ass these days #i would probably have a much better time getting a security job if i could only move to a bigger city center #but you see that requires money #and the only jobs i can get around here are fucking part time jobs that pay $12 an hour #which just isnt enough money #every month i spend more than i bring in #i get like $800 a month and then immediately turn around and give $400 of that to my mom for the family budget #and i cant not do that the family depends on that money #$200 to the credit card debt #which they told me i had to do in order to get good credit but you know what? it sucks. i hate it #i dont have to give them that much but i want to pay it off faster to cut down on interest #which leaves me with $200 which isnt enough to feed myself for a month #even with the fact that i get an employee discount at the grocery store #anyway i think my personal policy in the future is that if im not making enough money to think 'i want x.' and then just buy it #(for like. things that are less than a thousand dollars) #then im not working 5 days a week #insane expectation #especially with the price of gas

[evie-sturns]

ɢᴇᴛ ᴏᴜᴛ - ᴍᴀᴛᴛ ꜱᴛᴜʀɴɪᴏʟᴏ

summary: you're spending the weekend at the sturniolos house, you've never had feeling for matt, but this weekend has been different, he just looks too good, the sexual frustration builds up to the point where you just have to get yourself off, but matt walks in on you..

Warnings: swearing, smut, f!masturbation, caught gettin freaky w yourself, fingering, p in v.

-----------------┗━•❃°•°❀°•°❃•━┛-------------

i'm spending the weekend with my best friends, the sturniolos. i've never had any feelings for them, but this past week matt has been looking.. different. he's recently got more tattoos, his facial hair has grown out slightly, giving him a subtle moustache. matt's been wearing different earrings, longer ones, i've never thought about him this way, it weirds me out, but i can't help myself. i've had no privacy for the past 3 days though, constantly with a triplet. i've wanted to touch myself, but i physically cant.

i open the trash can, throwing in me, matt, nick and chris's empty solo cups, which were filled with rootbeer.

"im so fucking tired what time is it." chris yawns, standing up from the dining table.

"1:30am." nick mumbles, rubbing his eyes.

"okay guys, i'm going to bed yeah? gotta be up early for the beach tomorrow" chris says, doing stupid claps with a wide grin on his face.

i scoff, waving him goodbye as he disappears upstairs. nick runs over to me, giving me a quick hug "i'm gonna sleep too, love ya y/n, see you in the morning."

me and matt stand in the kitchen, i lean on the countertop slightly, scrolling on our phones. his face is lit by his screen, highlighting his features. i don't even notice the fact i'm squeezing my thighs together until he looks up at me.

"you okay, mrs. staring problem" he jokes, giving me a smile. my cheeks flush, i uncross my thighs and wipe my face quickly. "sorry." i say, quickly.

"i'm gonna go watch a movie okay? my rooms always open." i say, giving matt a hug.

i get butterflies, why the fuck did i get butterflies?

i feel a heat grow between my legs, i run upstairs, going into the spare room which im staying in for the next few days. i lock the door behind me,

atleast i think i do.

i flop down on the bed, my hand reaches under my waistband, tracing soft circles over my fabric of my panties. "fuck." i whisper before shimmying my shorts and panties down in one motion to my ankles.

im left with my bottom half revealed on the bed, i use one finger to trace my clit in circles. i squirm on the bed, restraining my moans. after a few minutes i plunge two fingers into my hole, pumping in and out.

my mind subconsciously flicks to matt, his tattoos, which crawl up his arms, his hair, his hands, i wonder what they would look like around my neck-

the door opens, my eyes bulge open, me and matt make direct eye contact, i instantly yank up my shorts,

"get out please!" i say, my voice shaking, as i sit up quickly

"oh fuck im so sorry!" he yells slamming the door shut, his face pale.

i fall back on the bed, covering my face with a long groan.

embarrasment.

is the only thing i feel, my heart pounds as i bring my knees to my chest.

after 10 minutes, i hear a quiet knock on the door, i sit up off the bed, walking towards the door and opening it.

im met with matts guilty face, his cheeks are flushed, a few strands of hair stuck to his forehead.

he opens his mouth, nothing comes out execpt for a small noise. he clears his throat "sorry."

"i uh, sorry um, i really shouldve knocked." he says fidgeting with his hand. i stay silent, my cheeks cherry red. "i swear i didn't see much." he assures, i look up at him, raising an eyebrow in a 'really?' way. he stares at me "maybe thats a lie, but i swear ill blank it out of my mind!" he says, his voice frantic.

"its fine matt, i shouldve locked the door okay? lets go watch a movie in your room." i say, giving matt a warm smile. he nods, walking towards his room.

i follow close behind him as he jumps into bed, laying an arms out, i jump in beside him, cuddling close into his side.

my heart beats again, when im nervous words just come out.

"i was thinking about you when i was touching myself." i blurt out, slamming a hand over my mouth. the room goes silent. im frozen in shock.

"what?" he says in confusion.

"not true." i mumble out. my hand glued to my mouth.

matt tenses up under me. "y/n.. you have to tell me right now what your were thinking about.." he says, calmer than expected/

i stay silent.

"y/n." hes cut off by my voice.

"you it was you, i don't know!" i say, my voice trembling from embarrassment.

"what about me?" matt teases, rubbing my shoulder comfortingly

"tattoos, hair, hands" my mouth is moving faster than my brain.

"is that so now?" he says, looking down at me.

i nod quickly, matt sits up on his knees before hovering over me. i look up at him, my eyes submissive.

he smashes his lips into mine, holding the back of my head. "matt" i whine into his mouth. "i know, i know." he says, pulling my shorts down. "can i?" he says, toying with the waistband of my panties.

"please." i beg, lifing my hips up to help him. he leans down and whispers into my hair.

"whats gonna happen is you're gonna ride me, and you arent going to make a single noise, nick and chris are right next door."

i nod, flipping us over, straddling his thighs with my bare lower half.

he pulls down his sweatpants, his large erection springing out. "you ready?" he says, tearing open a condom with his teeth and rolling it on him. "i really like you.." i whisper, hovering above his tip. "you need help sweatheart?" matt speaks, holding my ass.

i didn't, i just wanted to feel his hands on me.

"yes,- yeah please.."

he lowers me down onto him, halfway down. suddenly he drops me, my ass colliding with his thighs, i let out a gasp as he smiles, he lifts me back up to his tip, before dropping me again.

i let out a shaky moan, matt holds a hand over my mouth. "can't stay quiet can you baby?" he teases, lifting me up and down.

i squeeze my eyes shut, pushing myself up and down with my hands on his collar bones. i let out muffled whimpers, his hand clamped onto my lips.

"so good princess." he praises, lifting me up and down faster.

"you're clenching, gonna cum for me?"

i nod frantically,

"go on." he says, i instantly comply, orgasming on his length.

he groans before pulling out of me, his cum spilling into his condom. i instantly collapse on his chest. matt whispers praises in my ear.

i place a long kiss on his neck.

"pretty glad i didn't lock the door." i say in between breaths

—-———-----┗━•❃°•°❀°•°❃•━┛------------------

had a shitty day today so i wrote matt smut LMAO

#sturniolo triplets #sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #matthew sturniolo #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo smut

[ribbonswrld]

Bada different ways of showing love: like her different love languages and what she does 👀

I GOTCHUU I LOVE THIS

how bada shows love/bada's love languages!

cw: tooth rotting fluff, barely proofread, english is not my native language, enjoy <3

physical touch ;;

BACK 👏 HUGS 👏 ALWAYS 👏 !! literally cannot help herself. she gravitates towards you and always somehow finds herself leaning against you and holding you close from behind TT

and i think she absolutely will just always kiss you everywhere all the time. like i said she just always gravitates towards you and cant help pressing a chaste kiss wherever she can; the top of your head, your cheek, your nose, the crook of your neck, the corner of your lips...

holding your hand!! always!! and she definitely is the type to take your hand in hers and then stuff them in her pocket. she absolutely softly caresses your hand with her thumb as u guys r holding them :((

no matter your height, bada loves loves LOVES to pick you up and sway you in her arms!! and she melts if you are the one to jump in her arms and cling to her like a baby koala <33

she also will just. absolutely pull you on her lap. no matter the situation like. that is YOUR seat. sure sitting next to her and being able to lean on eachother is great but she really loves having you sit there and being able to hold you firmly!!

i think also like in the context of sitting on her lap for example she loves mindlessly rubbing your belly, your hips, your sides confortingly... she just loves everything about you and wants to touch you constantly </3

words of affirmation ;;

bada's second love language would absolutely be words of affirmation like. she just is so endeared by everything you do and you HAVE to know just how much she thinks you're adorable and pretty and amazing!!!

she passes out praise like free candy on halloween, for every little thing!!

basically always puts a "my" before every petname bc!! you're hers!!

even if you had a rough day and barely did anything she will still continue to praise you and comfort you.

"you did well, it's okay my baby. i know today was hard but i'm so proud of you."

will always remind you of how much she loves you every single day <3

acts of service

i think she absolutely loves to take care of you!!

for example, she likes taking a bath or shower with you and just wash your hair for you with soft touches and kisses... and then insists on helping you with skincare & blow drying your hair...

also gives KILLER massages like.!! girlie is a dancer, she knows muscle pain & knows how to relieve certain aches.

she loves to cook for you <3

also is always down to help you with whatever you work on!! shes passionate about what YOU'RE passionate about!! :((

quality time ;;

i think bada is absolutely the type to have a whole list of date ideas like. you WILL have atleast one date per week.

but tbf for her it doesnt really matter what you're doing as long as you are spending time together aw

she really really REALLY loves indulging you and your interests so if you want to go somewhere specific you WILL go together and she WILL spoil you and listen to your happy rambles.

however she also MELTS when you do the same for her like... she wants to go see this dance troupe? okay you'll come with her because you know that'll make her happy!! and she loves you for it. she loves how you both take interest in eachother's interests lol

i think shes also the type to be like "i miss my wife... it's been 4 years since she went at war..." and then you "babe we saw eachother an hour ago" and then she "one hour TOO LONG :("

i just made myself melt

anyway yeah shes definitely clingy and will miss u always hence why she loves spending time with you <3

gifts ;;

good heavens this woman LOVES to spoil you!!

every now and then she'll check her notes app to go thru things you've mentioned wanting/liking (yes i think she absolutely writes down anything she thinks you might want to have) and will go hm! i will buy her this today!

and if you're someone who isnt used to getting gifts like that and gets nervous about it moneywise i think she'll indulge you EVEN MORE!! but will also respect your boundaries to make you comfy so like if you don't feel comfortable with her giving you extra expensive stuff often? no problem she'll hold herself back and be smart about her purchases for you. although money is not an issue for her, she respects your financial ideals and boundaries <3

this made me so happy to write thank u nonnie for this adorable request <3!! i hope u enjoy!! and also bada definitely loves when YOU are the one to show your love the way she does <3 its all mutual!!

#bada lee #bada lee x reader #fem reader #sapphic #wlw #bada x reader #bebe x reader #lesbian #ribo answers!! #ribo writes!! #fluff #swf2 x reader #street woman fighter x reader #street woman fighter 2 #team bebe #team bebe x reader #bada lee fanfic #bada lee imagine

[sugawhaaa]

NOOOO MY XDINARY BRAINROT IS SO SO BAD RN TOO!!!!

I keep thinking about bunny hybrid junhannie going into rut and fucking the daylights out of his owner <33 promising to breed them full of his kits, babbling about how he cant wait to give them his mates mark </3 WORMS!!! HYBRID HEROES BRAINWORMS!!!!

HYBRID JUNHAN ONE-SHOT

🪐♡✧˖ °🪐♡✧˖ °🪐♡✧˖ °🪐♡✧˖ °🪐♡✧˖ °🪐♡✧

I can't help myself

Warnings::SMUT/some vulgar language

Genre:: it's kinda implied that the reader is female but it's never really said, breeding, hand job, nipple play, creampie (don't try this at home kids (╯✧▽✧)╯)

Pairing:: bunny hybrid!Junhan! X female bodied!reader

A//N:: I WAS LITERALLY THINKING ABT WRITING HYBRID JUNHAN LIKE...YESTERDAY I'm usually not super into hybrid prompts but Junhan being a hybrid just makes sense 🤌 he'd feel guilty and embarrassed but would also jerk off to images of you 24/7

You weren't oblivious to a hybrid's heat. You've had your bunny hybrid, Junhan, for about 3 years, and every year around spring and early summer he goes through heat. He usually manages it very well. He talks to you about it but it's never very serious...perhaps it was because he was so young.

Now he's a lot older and you'd think that he's learned ways to manage his heat and impulses but this time it's all different.

It was around mid May when he woke up one morning, his ears perked straight up even though they're usually pretty droopy. He didn't pay much mind to it and went downstairs to you. You waved at him with a little "morning baby!" And his heart skipped a beat. His face turned red and he cleared his throat.

"M-Morning" he replied and sat down at the kitchen table. You raised an eyebrow at his odd behavior.

"Is it that time of year again?" You leaned on the table, unintentionally showing him your cleavage. He looked away, his ears flicking up again at the tip.

"Yeah," he said as his eyes tried to avert from you but he couldn't help it. You stood up again and continued to look through the kitchen for breakfast.

"What do you want to eat?" You asked.

"Oatmeal..." he said softly as he watched your body move swiftly. Your waist, your hips, your ass...he felt so bad but he couldn't help but stare. He watched you intently.

That day was about a week ago and ever since he's been distant from you. He'll hang out with you during breakfast and dinner but almost never aside from that. You weren't a fool either. You heard him in the dead of night masturbating using whatever he could find, a pillow, sock, his own hands, anything that could satisfy his needs. Every morning he'd have dark circles under his eyes and his ears would always be straight up. You knew this happened usually when he was turned on or hard.

Eventually, you had enough of it. You were worried about him and after dinner, you demanded that he talk to you in your room. You crossed your arms and Junhan sat on the edge of your bed. His ears drooped back, flat against his head.

"What's going on?" You ask abruptly. "I know you're in heat but you've never been so distraught. Usually, when you masturbate it's only for a little while and you know when to stop but I've heard you at 3 in the morning," you explain and Junhan turns red.

"W-Well..." he pauses and you decided to speak up again.

"Not to mention you hardly eat and you're not going outside. And back to the masturbating, you're using whatever you can find that somewhat resembles a sex toy. You even used my electric toothbrush as a vibrator!" You blurt out. You sounded a lot more angry than you were.

"I'm sorry!" He bowed his head on your bed. You looked at him shocked. "I-I Don't know what's wrong with me this time but I just can't stop myself. All day and night I'm so horny and there's nothing I can do about it! I masturbate for hours on end but nothing helps. I thought I might need to be more intense so I used other things to simulate toys and things," he explained with upset eyes. "It's so hard..." he looked at you with drooped ears. You hugged him and he looked shocked.

"You should've just told me," you pet his ears as you speak. He nuzzles into your shoulder as you hug each other. He accidentally grinds himself on your thigh as you hug but you ignore it. His ears flutter against your hand, softly petting them.

"I'm so horny," he cried out in a broken voice. "I just want to fuck you so bad," he whimpered and you chuckled.

"Okay," you pull back and start to take your shirt off. Junhans ears straighten out.

"Wait, wait, wait," he waved his hands around and you stopped what you were doing. "Are you sure? Like I mean literally. I want to-"

"I'm sure." You cut him off and continued to take off your shirt. Junhan watched intently. Watching how your body moved with so much skin exposed. "Cmere," you said as you pulled him close. You took off his hoodie and shirt. His hips subconsciously bucked against your hip as you held him. Little breathy whimpers escaped his mouth. As soon as you leaned back against the head of the bed he lost all his composure. He leaned down and kissed you passionately, his body pressed against yours as he kissed you.

There was no thought in his touch, he just wanted to feel you. Your body, your lips, your most sensitive areas. He wanted it all and you were giving it to him. He bit down on your neck suddenly and you jumped. He sucked on the skin leaving a red mark on your lower neck. He continued this a few times but he got bored quickly. It was apparent he just wanted to cut to the chase. One of the straps of your bra fell down your shoulder and his ears twitched at the sight. You smiled and put your arms behind your back to unclip your bra. As soon as it fell his eyes lit up, his ears straightening again.

He licked your nipples softly and gently, just grazing his textured tongue across your sensitive skin. He loved to hear your soft whimpers of pleasure but it just wasn't enough for him. He craved you more. He needed more of you.

Junhan moved lower to the waistband of your pants. You nodded and he took them off, leaving you in only your panties. You put your hand on his chest before he could continue, his ears drooped back as he looked at you. "Here, let me help you out a bit," you said as you gently pushed him to lie down. Junhan laid back and waited for your next move. You undid his jeans and he blushed, his ears still tucked back. You took off his boxers as well, finally freeing his precum-covered erection. He bit his lip and looked down at you through fluttered eyes. You gently wrapped your hand around him and his breath hitched.

You slowly started moving your hand up and down, watching how his entire body reacted. As you picked up the pace his moans got louder. His knees jolted forward every now and then.

"I'm gonna cum," he whimpers out before grabbing the bed sheets. "Please, please," he whimpers as his back arched, pushing your hand down to the base of his cock. You continued at a steady pace before speeding up, finally letting him release. His cum dripped all over your hand and down to his base. His body twitched lightly as his ears curled. "I wanna breed you so bad," he whimpered out as he looked up at you. His eyes weak.

You looked at him surprised. He had never been so straightforward before. "Are you sure?" You asked softly, finally releasing your grip on him. Your hands sticky and wet. He looks up at you with the most desperate and eager eyes. His ears fell back as he looked up at you, his lips slightly parted. You caved in and nodded. You pulled down your panties and tossed them to the floor with the rest of the clothes.

Junhan looked you up and down. If this was an anime his nose would be bleeding and drool would be pouring from his lips. You laid down on your back and Junhan loomed over you. He bit his lip impatiently waiting for you to give the okay.

"Okay, start slow," you smile and he finally pushes inside you. You gasp as he fills you with his hard cock. You take a deep breath and Junhans ears stay straight up. He slowly starts thrusting into you, letting you adjust.

"I want to breed you so bad, fill you with all my cum and you'll take it all," Junhan mumbled as he tried to hold back his thrusts. He wanted to rut into you like this was the last time he'd ever get to fuck, but he didn't want to alarm you.

You look up at him through hazy eyes, seeing his long black hair all over his face and the lust in his eyes. You hold his shoulders and he just can't resist anymore. He starts pounding into you to the point your whole body shakes with each thrust. "You're going to keep every single last drop of my cum inside you," he groaned as he held the pillow next to your head. "I can't wait to mark you, you'll be mine," he smirks as you become a moaning mess.

You start clawing at his shoulders from the pleasure, little scratches present on his shoulders. "That's it, baby, you're so tight," he mumbles. Every word that comes out of his mouth slurs into the next. "Keep every drop in that tight pussy," he hisses before gritting his teeth. His head falls forward and his ears fall back.

"I'm gonna cum," you whimper out softly. Junhans eyes light up at your statement. Your words encourage him to thrust faster and harder. You throw your head back and arch your back. "Yes!" You moan out as you're just about to tip over the edge. With one final hard thrust you both cum at the same time. You feel his hot semen fill you up as your body convulses from pleasure. Junhan leans down and kisses your neck softly as sweat drips from his forehead, his cock still buried so deep inside you.

He chuckles softly from the rush of pleasure. "Fuck I needed that," he laughs as his hand runs up your body.

"You wanna do round two?" You smirk and Junhans ears shoot up.

"Of course," he smiled and pulled out of you. "Let's catch our breath for a minute first," he sighs as he throws his head back, sweat dripping down his neck to his chest. While he's cooling down you move into a doggy style position in front of him. Junhans eyes light up as he sees your ass out right in front of him for his taking.

"Ready when you are~" you hum happily and Junhan can't help himself. He pushes back into you quickly. You jump and grab the pillow in front of you. Junhan grabs your hips and holds you steady as he pulls out of you and then back in even harder. The sound of your skin hitting each other echoes throughout the room. "This position feels so good," you moan as your eyes roll back.

"Good," he hisses and increases the pace. Your tight walls sucking his cock dry. "You better keep all of this cum inside you, I'm gonna fill you so much to the point you're going to burst," he smirks and claws at your hips and ass as he pounds into you. You feel his length continuously hitting your g-spot and you feel like you're going to explode from pleasure. Junhans hand creeps up your back and grabs your hair in a tight and messy ponytail. He pulls your head back and you moan loudly. "You're so close darling, I can feel it," he smirks as he thrusts into you faster.

"Y-Yes," you whimper as your orgasm approaches fast.

"I can't wait to fill your little pussy again," he mumbles as your moans become louder. Junhan groans deeply as he feels his climax approaching. This knot in your stomach is just about to burst when he finally hits your G-spot one last time. You come undo beneath him but he doesn't stop. "Just a little more baby," he grunts before finally climaxing, painting your insides white. He lets your hair go and let's the rush wear off the both of you.

You let out a calm sigh and he pulls out. He lays down next to you and looks at your face, your hair a mess. "Did I go too hard?" He asks softly as he brushes back some of your hair.

"No, it was perfect," you smile. "And besides, as long as your happy I'm happy,"

#xdinary heroes #xdh imagines #xdh smut #xdinari hero fanfic #xdinary heroes fluff #xdh #xdh x reader #xdh fluff #xdinary heroes junhan #han hyeongjun #xh junhan #junhan #jun han

[haechanniesluvr]

vampire!mark oneshot :3

someone help i cant stop writing about vampire!nct....

cw: descriptions of blood, slight gore??, slightly sexual in a weird vampire sort of way, swearing

this work and any of my other works are in no way affiliated with the actual idols or their personalities, they are merely actors and references for my works. thank you!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you had been watching his every move for the last week. not in a fucked up stalker type of way, but in a 'theres something not right about you' way. mark lee was a loner, and he had an inconsistent schedule in school. it interested you immensely. what could be the reason for his off and on appearances? bad home life? illness? you wanted to know bad.

you would spend each class anticipating his arrival, and each time he did choose to show up, your heart would pulse and send adrenaline straight to each inch of your body. mark was captivating, skin pale, blonde hair combed neatly, eyes dark and sunken; he was a walking corpse.

of course, he started to notice your staring as the days passed. and of course, he confronted you, waiting until you were all alone.

finishing up with your books, you shut your locker and let out a small yelp at the tall figure standing behind the door, leaning against the locker next to yours, arms crossed.

"f-fuck. you scared me." you sheepishly responded to his condescending stare. he watched you like a predator watched it's prey.

"you've been watching me."

his voice was silky and deep, you almost completely missed the fact he had addressed your blatant staring.

"i have no idea what you're talking about, i've never even spoken to you." rolling your eyes, you turn and begin to walk towards the school doors. luckily, everybody had gone home so you weren't frightened of any rumors that could've been spread. an icy grip tightens on your wrist, and your pulled straight back to your locker. his hand was freezing, much lower than any human body could manage.

"i'll repeat myself. you've been watching me." his voice sounded more serious this time, warning you to stop fucking with him.

"sorry. i'll admit, i have. i just get bored in class." you lied through your teeth. mark released your wrist with a sigh, which was followed by a smirk.

"what if i was watching you, too? how would that make you feel?" he awaited your response whilst leaning down slightly, his lips inches from your own. you were sure he could feel the sheer heat radiating from your cheeks.

"i.. it would.. um.." you fumbled out as you stepped back awkwardly.

"truth is, y/n, i have been watching you. everywhere. it's in my blood to want to protect you, to want to mark you, to want to make you mine." mark hummed, glinting his.. fangs? he licked over them slowly, smirking whilst watching your eyes widen. "please.. i need you.." he stared up at you through his eyelashes lustfully.

you could only whimper out a small "okay-" before he took your waist roughly and pulled you into a deep, desired kiss. your tongue ran over his fangs before he moved away to start mouthing at your neck, licking a small stripe down it. his eyes met yours before requesting your approval to bite down on your plush skin.

"do it. bite me." you leaned your head to the side, exposing the tenderness of your neck. his breath faltered slightly at the sight, and he wasted no time bringing his teeth to graze over the skin. his fangs teasing you by applying slight pressure and then pulling back, making you whine out slightly in protest. until he actually sunk them in without warning, ripping through each layer of flesh and muscle until he hit as deep as he could clamp down. you let out a struggled gasp as you felt him begin to drain your essence, making you feel light-headed. he snaked two arms around you whilst you allowed yourself to fall limp into his body. warmth trickled down your neck as he retaliated, crimson blood smeared around his plumped lips. bringing your hands up to your neck, you curiously prodded over the two distinct marks engraved into your skin.

you were his now.

#nct dream #nct imagines #mark lee #nct dream smut #vampire au #nct #nctu #nct127 #mark #lee #mark lee x reader #vampire mark lee #vampire nct

[peachesofteal]

RAAAAAAAAH CHAPTER 13 BRO!!!!!

as always, i read it like a rabid animal, and then reread the prev 4 chapters and then reread this again HAHA

your work ages like fine wine, and i read and treasure every word of it, especially on rereads when i can make myself slow down to really take it all in <3

"He takes it all away. Every time." made me WEEP!!!!! its what she DESERVES!!!! the dependability and the escape into him and simon (simon takes charge obvs, but johnny is just as much an outlet. sweet sweet boy)

i think he also realizes that she's seeing it as escapism and starts to fall away a bit, bc of how he stops her and asks to check in. it makes me curious abt his and simon's early relationship, if he's recognizing the same pattern of behavior and comparing them.

going on with that, when she was showing them her scars, AUUUUUUGH. that hit so hard man. the “No but… they’re hideous.”

“No.” Simon croaks, voice thick. “There isn’t a single part of you that isn’t perfect.”

SIMOOOOOOOON he sees so much of himself in her. its gotta be heartbreaking, knowing she's where he used to be. he gets it fr. i cant imagine two people more suited for her, someone who's been where she is and got out, and the person who's helped get that someone out of that pit. fuck dude. you're so good at this HAHAHA

im not gonna say nothin abt the good girl stuff…. but heehee!

also also "I'm not a little human nurse" made me laugh so hard LMAO pure arizona from grey's. ive been watching it lately (started right before you started posting simple math actually) reading the hospital bits of SM, you do a really good job of capturing the same energy and stakes and work dynamics that you get watching grey's. im honestly still waiting for the other shoe to drop on the stupid attending marshall, there's always something that a shitty attending can mess up down the road lmao

the ending on this chap killed me though. they knew she was flighty, and that she's smart and capable, but its gotta be so hard to get the relief of her coming back after the day out without answering the phone, only to find the papers the next morning. in bunny's defense though, she mentioned in chapters before moving in (i think before graves hurt her?) with them that she had to start looking at outs, and these papers aren't a 2-day turnaround; she probably bought them weeks ago and only now picked them up. i could be wrong though! i think its unfortunate timing, but she also probably just wants the relief knowing that she's got the backup plan accessible. as much as she loves the boys and penny, she's still not used to having the dependability. the safety scares her, or at least gives her the idea of a false sense of security, since she's been on edge for so so long.

i give her big smooch. poor bun. poor boys, and poor penny. manifesting the worst for graves, truly, rot in hell you idiot american

i hope you're feeling better, its lovely to read your works but even better when you're doing well yourself ❤️❤️❤️

I loved reading this! I adore you.

I love how you noticed that Johnny does stop to check in. He has a very firm grip on her mental and emotional state, (it’s not his first rodeo) and he knows just how to bring her back.

The two of them + Bunny is really a dream come true even if she doesn’t realize it yet (they do) and it will take a lot of time and work on everyone’s part.

I think your notes in your last paragraph are pretty spot on, too. Bunny will talk about it more in the next two chapters but- getting a new identity is not a two day turnaround.

Also yeah, I was channeling Arizona with that line 💀 I was hoping someone would catch it!

10/10 I love your breakdowns, no notes, perfection, they always make me smile.

#peaches asks #frogladder

[carols-writting]

HEHEHEHE HIHIIII!! HOPE YOURE DOING ALRIGHT!

I was thinking of the monkey boyz (Macaque & Wukong ^_^) with a gender natural autistic s/o (romantic plspls), on a way sometimes they stim so hard that they almost faint from running out of breath, infodumps AANDD enjoy cuddling them a lot principally from sensory seek on their fur.

If it is not too much i would also love to see how they would help their s/o on a meltdown for comfort reasons but that one is completely optional, do only if you’re comfortable doing!!

THAATSS IT!! have a nice day :D

HOW SUN WUKONG AND MACAQUE REACT TO A AUTISTIC READER

fluffy + romantic

•---------••---------••---------••---------••---------•

scenario: reader is autistic. they stim very hard, infodumps and loves to cuddle w them cause their fur is silly. theres also a meldown comfort

reader: they/them pronouns used, no physical appearance established, a request

warnings: autistic meltdown but its well handled (i hope) + ableism mention in the macaques section (not him being ableist)

authors note: hai!!1! im doing fine, just a bit lazy to go to school but i can sleep all day anyway. im comfy on doing the meltdown one but i wasnt sure what u feel comforted by, and how u handle ur meltdowns so i hope i got it right ^_^ i also loved to make this request cause its easier to me normalize autistic people in a romantic relationship. im autistic but i have some internalized ableism, imagine myself dating w a allistic is hard cause i feel like they wont truly like me. maybe because im childish, dramatic or just overly weird. anyway, ty for the request >w<

•---------••---------••---------••---------••---------•

SUN WUKONG

- hes allistic, but he mostly gets u!!1!

- and if he dosent? he still respects u anyway

- after all, u cant be separated of ur autism

- you ARE autistic, u dont HAVE it

- so if he loves u, he automatically loves ur autism

- after some weeks dating u, he undertands urs negative sensory triggers

- and ur positive sensory triggers

- (he asked to u the infos about it and never forgot about any of them)

- so, everytime u stim very hard for positive reasons

- he finds it very cute

- he still gets worried sometimes about u passing out

- but not enough for him to "ban u" from stimming

- after all, for positive or negative reasons, u still need to do it so u can feel better

- he loves the concept of stims

- hes not a big fan of social norms

- he didnt had much social interactions for centuries, after all

- so when u show to him so clearly that u are happy

- it makes him confident about his actions if he somehow caused it

- about infodumping

- he totally loves it!!1!

- he loves to see u stim.

- he loves to see u sound exicated.

- he loves the fact he knows u are happy.

- the infodumping can be weird or useless

- but he will hear it anyways cause its U saying it

- and if its related to u, he loves it <333

- ur infodump can be about snails and he will hear it (honestly? same. i would love to learn about those little guys)

- or even the creation of boxes (again, same)

- and he will ask some questions about it

- he loves to see u happy

- about cuddling

- hes touch starved, so... x2

- he will be extra clingy if he finds out u like the texture of his fur

- hes like "THEY LOVE MY FUR!!1!"

- i already did a headcanon of him and macaque + a clingy reader, so i wont enter in details

- but he will MELT if u caress or play w his fur

- it feels so heavily to him

- both because he likes the sensation and because u are enjoying it

- now, finally meltdown comfort

- i would say that a loud and crowded place triggered it, cause me guess thats a universal trigger to autistics (but u can change the situation if im wrong)

- idk how u react to it, loud and emocional or quiet and emocional (like me :3 ^_^ >w< :D)

- but he will quickly notice it

- again, he knows about urs negative sensory triggers, so hes always watching u when he knows a meltdown is possible to happen

- he immediately (gently) grab ur sleeve and guide u to a quiet and lonely place

- if u need physical touch to calm down, he will tightly and firmly hold u until u dont need it anymore

- or just slightly and loosely hold u, if u need it

- u can freely play w his fur

- and if u dont like physical touch, he will give u space until u dont need it anymore

- if u have a comfort item or sensory, he will give u the item or something w the sensory u like

- like ur favorite plushie or a blanket

- he will talk to u if u need when u are in ur meltdown or if u want when u calm down

- and he will also force himself to stay quiet if u need it or want it

- anyway, hes a supportive bf who loves u

- hes so wife material :3

MACAQUE

- hes autistic!!1!

- me thinks, level of support: level 2

- so he fully gets u!!1!

- even if ur symptoms are different or the opposite of ur, he still can understand where it comes from

- i mean- hes not a big talker

- but if u are? he gets it

- talk about ur interests and give space to others talk about theirs are very comfy!

- he definitely remember urs negative and positive sensory triggers

- yall had a conversation before yall was even dating

- u was his friend and he wanted to know how to comfort u + he was curious about how ur brain works

- and he dosent mind ur stimming at all

- he LOVES when its for a positive reason

- means that u are happy!!1!

- and that u feel safe enough around him!!1!

- sometimes he joins u

- well, only after yall are dating for some months

- he was alive for centuries and centuries

- old people wasnt very kind w the different, yk?

- i feel like he mainly stims by jumping and shaking his fists when its for a positive reason

- stumping his feet and cracking his fingers when its a negative reason (not projecting... ofc not hahaha)

- about infodumps

- he LOVES them

- his especial interest is learn in general

- especially about histories or animal facts

- so tell him about those things and he will ask so many questions

- ofc, he still loves infos out of that

- and he will still ask questions

- things that matter to him or not

- questions he want to know the answer or not

- only because he love to watch u be exicated

- CAUSE HES EXICATED TOO!!1!

- wooo!!!1! learn >w<

- about cuddles

- he also loves them!

- sometimes the autism is tisming and he dosent feel like touch

- but he warns u about that

- but usually he loves it

- other touch starved mf

- he loves his fur texture too so...

- he gets it

- he also will melt if u play w his fur

- its so comfy to him

- now, finally, meltdown

- same scenario

- loud and crowded place

- now, he have six ears + he was constantly looking at u

- so he notices very quickly

- he gives his sleeve and tell u to hold it

- but if u cant see in urs meltdowns, he gently hold ur sleeve

- and he guides u too a quiet and lonely place

- again, if u want pressure, he will hug u tightly

- or loosely if u prefer

- yes, u can play w his fur

- if pressure overwhelms u, he will give u space

- sensory itens or ur comfort object? he will buy to u if needed.

- hes not a big talker

- so stay quiet is his speciality if u need it

- but this mf will be so fucking talkative if u need it after of or while u are having a meltdown

- he does not stf until u feel better.

- anyway, he loves and likes u so much

- u are the person he loves, so dont worry about being annoying for urs autistic symptoms

- material wife fr fr.

#lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk sun wukong #sun wukong x reader #sun wukong #lego monkie king #six eared macaque #macaque x reader #lmk macaque #headcanon #x reader

[asherloki]

heyy, i saw that ur requests were open, but that was like 2 weeks ago so idk if its still valid, but if they are; i was thinking abt this quote i saw on pinterest:

“you cant love someone unless you love yourself first. bullshit. i have never loved myself, but you, oh god, i loved you so much i forgot what hating myself feels like”

with sherlock who is COMPLETELY smitten with reader and views them as his safe space from insufferable people and unsolvable cases

if u consider this or even write this thank you in advance <3 (thank u anyways tho bc ur work is so good like?? bruh gimme some writing skills IM BEGGING)

anways, bye <3

"My sunshine"

Bbc Sherlock

A/n:- ohho it was lovely ! Even though I'm sorry for the writing quality, I've been busy and lacking creativity, hope you still like it.

"do you like it?" asked the detective while handing me a box packed nicely. He had a real busy day running around the city with Scotland yard officers, especially with lestrade, accompanied by John.

"what is it?" I enquired taking the box from him. I still remember the day we first met. The night was cold and I met his lovely landlady Mrs Hudson. She was friendly enough to invite me over tea at her place and my curiosity led me to meet her famous tenant. Mr Sherlock Holmes. The urge to share the flat with this junkie detective got on me for some reason. Everything about his flat fascinated where anyone would say his flat is unbearable. His cold lifeless flat, as he describes so, was somehow comforting to him. Then with his approval and with my family's permission as well, I moved in to Baker Street as his flatmate. 221b was closer to my office so it was an advantage in convincing my family to let me shift to Baker Street. Since then I've seen two sides of Sherlock. One, the side everyone knows, the analytical cold detective. And two, the side which is revealed to very few people, luckily for me being one of them. Living so close to him taught me he has a soft side. The one that's like a goofy child. The one who sits infront me while I paint just staring at the painting to be done with fascination in his eyes. The one that takes a brush from my set that I'm not using at that moment and starts to draw patterns on a crumbled paper, one of those which contained a case which was still unsolved and bugged him.

"open it, I just hope you like it." replied he, With, what I believe to be a bit nervousness in his voice, yet also a bit of excitement. So I giggled at his childishness and opened the box. To my delight it was a chocolate muffin. A big one, loaded with chocolate chips.

"oh gosh my favourite muffin!" I could barely hold my excitement to me. Turning to him I saw a wide smile spreading accross his lips what was alot like a relief.

"yes, it's yours, I hope it tastes good too" said the man who was perhaps more than ten years older than me, not perhaps, he was alot older than me. But it never felt so, he was still a goofy kid somehow.

"ofcourse it'll be, where's yours?" he must've bought for himself as well I presumed. And a lovely evening with tea and our muffins was on my mind, oh not to forget, the exciting stories he is yet to tell.

"m-mine?" he stuttered, as if him having bought a muffin for himself was out of question.

"yes yours, don't tell me you bought a tasty big muffin for me and not for yourself, how could you resist?" seriously, how could he resist the urge to get his hands on such a precious thing.

"I.." he trailed off, as if he was confused, "didn't think about getting one for me actually".

These are the kind of replies that makes me wanna wrap him in my arms. This man never thought anything good for himself, never got anything good for himself. But I couldn't just have it on my own. The box contained the store name and address, which is far away, perhaps somewhere near his case led him to. So going there and buying another was out of question, but this muffin was big enough, and sharing is always an option.

"you know what?" I spoke, regaining some enthusiasm, "how about some tea?"

"that sounds wonderful" that's it, that's the reply I wanted to hear before going to the kitchen. I took out our cups and Mrs Hudson was always there to bring us a kettle filled with tea.

Sherlock took his chair and sat while I sat on one beside his. I placed our cups while he poured the tea.

"we forgot the biscuits, I'll get them give me minute." he was getting up from his chair when I interrupted.

"no need" looking at him I saw his baffled expressions again. Honestly Sherlock, enough baffling for one day. "sit down, I have something better".

He sat yet he was utterly confused, Even more not less when he saw me taking out the muffin and cutting it into half. Smart detective knew the other half belongs to him, or I want so.

"here, have something better than regular biscuits" saying so with a smile I passed the plate with his part of the muffin closer to him.

"but... that.." he stuttered again, "that was for you" after a pause he finally formed the sentence.

"yes, which means I can do anything I want with it."

He kept on looking at me and with a soft nod took a piece in his spoon. Then slowly he took the piece in. I could see his expression changing again while he munched that piece of muffin, into something that indicated if he were someone else he could've shaded a drop of tear or two.

"hey" I said pating his shoulder and keeping my palm on it, "what happened?"

He raised his face so his eyes were staring into mine, but there was barely any intensity in his eyes at that moment. there was, what I presume is sadness. He finally inhaled a deep breath before speaking up,

"I have..." he paused, he was collecting words I was sure of it, "I've never considered myself as someone who deserves anything good."

His word, about himself, it's devastating he thinks so little about himself.

"what are you talking about?" baffled, I was puzzled way too much to figure out what was going inside him, imagine a man like him is unable to see anything good in him. "Sherlock, please, you literally save hundreds of lives".

"I have also shot one"

"to save john, your best friend".

He looked around as if trying to find more proof against him.

"Sherlock?" I called him softly, as he turned his face to me I got up from my chair and to his utter surprise, embraced him, rather his head, leaning it on my chest. His body turned stiff, apparently he didn't expect a hug.

"you're the best and the most wisest man people have ever seen, and the kindest and the most innocent person I've ever had the opportunity to know".

His stiffness lessened with these words and finally he let himself fall into my arms, fall into my embrace, unknowingly I also leaned on him. My cheek touching his curls. His rather soft curls.

"you're saying this?" he asked with such joy and surprise in his voice.

"yes ofcourse, why not". I waited for a reply, it took him time but finally he said,

"because you've always been the sunshine for me. Since the day you've entered in my life, since I've got to know you. my work was all I knew but for some reason I longed to come home at night to you. I always saw you as someone whom I don't deserve, who's too good for me, too young for me. So I just enjoyed every second we are together, fir one day you may choose someone to love and move out. I tried to do every little thing that could bring you happiness. I was so lost, with you I found my way. But I won't demand anything from you, because I believe someone young, handsome a better person should be with you".

I couldn't believe, but I had to, it was all real, his words, his feelings, him.

"you never said you think of me so highly" I whispered.

"that's why I was broken everytime I saw you with a guy, but I was way more broken when I saw you shedding tears for them leaving you, how could someone like you be someone's second choice when to me you're not just the first or only choice but my whole being knows you're the right choice, a bit too right I was afraid to ever consider myself as your lover, I didn't dare to think of anyone else since I laid my eyes on you, I never chose anyone, no matter how smart, attractive or lovely they were, because now I see, I was supposed to choose you, I got so utterly devoted to you that I don't remember myself anymore. I only know you."

"Sherlock " I whispered his name while slowly letting his head go, I sat in my chair and wondered how beautiful his feelings are that neither his nor my eyes could hold a drop of tear from falling down. "now it's my turn then, I've barely been ever treated this well as you've confessed yourself, I've barely been completely understood. do you think, this immature, little less intelligent, day dreamer flatmate of yours is worthy of you?"

I knew it'd be enough to overwhelm him if he really thought so highly of me and it did. He didn't stop his tears this time, he immediately embraced me and we both cried silently while embracing eachother until his warm voice was heard saying, "then I guess we are actually worthy of eachother ".

I giggled, yes we are. absolutely yes.

"yes, I'll keep you happy ".

"and I'll treat you well."

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