#i hate my life! so much!

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho) #healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage.... #1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception'' #3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.'' #idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band'' #edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry. #but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally. #i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet . #i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound. #but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too. #here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort) #choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

[lazylittledragon]

do any other artists feel like. yeah you're a 'good artist' because you draw things that look nice, but like. TECHNICALLY? you're really not great

i really hate that i can recognise that yes, my art is good, but is it VARIED? is it dynamic?? is my anatomy good? is it full of texture and colour theory? do i know how to do This? can i do That? no, not really. and that's quite painful actually

#ramble #yes this is the artist's perspective bs and yes this is anxiety because it's 1am #and yes i'm forever learning and growing but also #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. #drawing my little guys is fun but i am not good enough for the industry right now and that fucking sucks #i really feel like if i walked into a studio with my portfolio right now they would laugh at me #one of those days where i wish i'd done a more useful degree y'know #i'm going back through the phase where i don't know what i'm going to be anymore and it's scary #some days i really want to give it up and never draw again and do something worthwhile because i Know my life would be easier #and i hate that something i love so much makes me feel so hopeless #signs that i should go to bed ^^^^ #i will resume my pity party tomorrow

[isjasz]

[Day 165]

This time there is none

#dddaily4sherin #grian #goodtimeswithscar #desert duo #skizzleman #and tango cameo #secret life #my art #secret life smp #trafficblr #traffic smp #i hate them so much #why are they so INCREDIBLY DEAD THIS SESSION THE NUMEROUS THINGS I CAN NAME... #scar :(((( #i can never decide to make the layout side by side or vertical don't mind me #comic

[johndonneswife]

#I CANT DO THIS…………… #yuri on ice #i hate them so much. HOMOPHOBIA….LIKE. DO YOU GUYS HATE GAY PPL MORE THAN YOU HATE MONEY?????? #having the worst day of my life? #anyway this is a lesson for me not to watch a 1 season long anime 8 years after it airs and not get emotionally invested lmao #FAIIIIIILED #never again #gonna frow up

[milezperprower]

first thing i draw when i get home im so fucking done bro

#tadc #the amazing digital circus #tadc pomni #pomni #tadc fanart #i hate my life so fucking much #not as much as pomni hates this kinda shit ooo gotem

[kimtaegis]

may you find happiness there, may all your hopes all turn out right! ↳ for @magicshop 🌸

cr. dwellingsouls, atoz v; insp.

#btsgif #btsgfx #btsedit #gfx #usergif #bts #bangtan #namtaegi #usersky #userkelli #trackofthesoul #userzaynab #userines #usersan #underbetelgeuse #*yg #*nj #*th #*gifs #*gfx #andi I'm soooo sorry this is so late 😭 #really just had zero time I hate it here #but here we go!!! your favourites are bringing you a little spring magic <3 #(HAD to use 'magic' in this somewhere hehe) #I used every little scrap of this unit photoshoot there was noooot much unfortunately :( hence the little ot7 appearance :) #most of the text are lyrics from ben howard's 'keep your head up' #this song reminds of a beloved friendship from my youth and just warms my heart so much #it's perfect for this time of the year and gives me this fondness that I also feel when I think of you #I hope you spent your birthday surrounded by happiness and love #and that this new year of your life will be filled with hope and positivity

[catboy-fentanyl]

cant stop drawing them.... ... . inspired by that part in a garden across our collarbone where they buy those onesies :333 please go read that fic by @pittdpeaches !!!

#lego monkie kid #lmk #lmk fanart #lmk mk #lmk red son #spicynoodles #lmk spicynoodles #i hate them so much #i wanna blend them up #affectionately #pittdpeaches has ruined my life with #a garden across our collarbone

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

y'all need to get a grip. you blab all day about how much you hate bigots and hateful people and how evil it is to dehumanize anyone and then you turn around and say "kys" and "i think [x] should all just kill themselves" and other disgusting, violent and childish trash

so many people on here are just full of hatred and vitriol and turn into frenzied sharks anytime the target 'deserves it' and they think they can get away with it and not be called bad people. then they whine about how sad it is that we can't all just get along and if only all the evil people in the world would stop doing evil things wouldn't that be nicer

you're just as vicious, hypocritical and fanatically puritanical as the caricature you have made in your minds of the people you think you have nothing in common with. if you've ever told someone, ANYONE to kill themselves you're not advocates of justice, you're not artisans of peace, and you certainly don't have any moral high ground that would allow you to pass judgment on others

#i'm tired #you're so terrified of being bad people that you convince yourselves you could *never* be bad #and then any expression of hatred towards others (the “bad people”) gets reframed as proof of your own moral character #((making you even more afraid of being bad because you don't want to be at the receiving end of the hatred and so on and so forth)) #you can say whatever you want about religious people and esp christians but 1) you're as religious as they are but at least they know it #and 2) most of the christians i've met are magnitudes more forgiving of others than this website's self-righteous preachers #(this isn't about anything people have said to me btw it's about what i see reading blogs from all across the social/political spectrum) #this about the radfem-hating liberals and the pro-life-hating radfems and the liberal-hating pro-lifers. Round and round we go #it’s about the people who put rabid antisemitism on my dash and whose only socio-political analysis is to call EVERYTHING bad #“Just like nazism” #Yapping about how much more moral and enlightened they are than ppl who introduce nuance into complex topics while they parrot slogans #I hate slogans so bad

[arcadeplayer-nickonz]

i was listening to TV Girl and suddenly i was compelled to drew these bastards

they suit the post valentines mood

#rick and morty #rick and morty fanart #rick sanchez #prickcest #or at least implied? #rick prime #rick c137 #don't you just hate having a hologram of your nemesis haunt you? so does Rick but he hasn't managed to get rid of him #guess old man Rick is stuck with a reminder of his poor life choices #i don't exactly ship anything within the series but somehow my interest was very much peaked at the idea that these two had a fling in past #so these doodles are a result of that- #bottom sketches were just me messing around with brushes and drawing the younger duo #nickonzart

[thattheater-kid]

You know what’s wild about being a fictive? Missing your old life even though it was shitty because it’s a shittiness you were used to. The life you’re living now is a new kind of shitty that feels unpleasant in a different way.

#maybe it’s stupid to miss the life I had #it sucked #so much #I hated it actually #I prayed every night that I wouldn’t wake up the next morning and cried when I did #I’m still doing that tbh #this is a different kind of suck though #I want my old life back #those people were shitty but they were MY shitty people #maybe I just got used to the horrible conditions I was living in #and now I miss it even though it was horrible #just because it’s familiar to me #maybe it’s the difference between the physical discomfort I felt in my old life #vs the emotional discomfort I feel now #maybe I should talk to my therapist #or go to bed #did system #plural #plurality #actually plural #actually did #plural system #system things #dissociative system #fictive #fictives #fictive culture #system culture #plural culture

[3-aem]

help my cat maybe!

okay I was told to just do this even though i hate it.

but as some of you know i lost my job a while back and it happened at the same time that my cat began semi-frequent vomitting like once every other week to multiple times a week. he appears fine otherwise but it has continued on for the last few months and at this point I don’t think i can continue pretending like he is alright.

the bill for a proper scan and diagnosis is around 780 total which is sadly not affordable.

If it is possible kofi donations would be greatly appreciated so I can bring him in for an ultrasound and blood tests 🙏 the lnk is in my pinned

#i hate this i hate it so much #ive always been like dont get a pet if u can’t financially support them but it was also like not a forseen thing #it was literally woke up one morning to find out like 30% of the company was to be terminated #thats an exaggeration but it was a lot of ppl #deleting this later #i know i love talking about the most inane aspects of my life but this is like bigger shit which i absolutely despise #u guys are allowed to know i wear mismatched socks all the time bc theyre just socks #but not that im jobless #but a quick update on that #*stares into the camera with a forced smile and then leaves*

[somegrumpynerd]

When you find out years later that you accidentally named one of your henchmen

Image ID: A multi-panel comic featuring au sanses. Panel 1: In Killer's original universe. A dark figure stands in the foreground while Killer is sitting back in the snow, covered in blood. Killer says "wh-what are you?" Panel 2: The dark figure is Nightmare but only his smile is visible. He says "I am Nightmare, guardian of all negativity in the multiverse ...and I have a proposition for you, Sans." Panel 3: Nightmare's hand is outstreched, he says "Come with me willingly and I'll take you out of this desolate and barren universe and let you loose on many others." Panel 4: Killer is looking back at Nightmare warily, a thought bubble shows he is thinking "other universes...?". He says "...in exchange for what? What do you want with me?" Panel 5: Nightmare's tentacles are reaching out towards Killer. He says "I feed off the fear and misery and hatred in this world, stirring these up will keep me powerful enough to fight against the guardian of positivity. In short," Panel 6: Nightmare is looming over Killer now, his tentacles surrounding him. He says "I just need you to be a good little killer." The word killer is in red text. Panel 7: Killer is grasping Nightmare's hand, having accepted his offer. Panel 8: Now in a different au, Nightmare stands beside Killer as he taunts Dream, who is out of frame. He says "You're outnumbered now Dream, I have a killer with me this time." The word killer is in red text again. Panel 9: Dream is lying on the ground looking hurt and ruffed up. Killer is standing in the background, looking ready to continue beating Dream up. Nightmare says from out of frame "You should know better than to turn your back on a killer by now." The word killer is in red text again. Panel 10: Nightmare is standing by Killer again, looking smug. He says to Dream, who is not shown "You'll need more than that pathetic bow next time you meet with my killer here." The word killer is in red text again. Killer is looking towards Nightmare, pleased with this. Panel 11: We are now in Nightmare's castle, present day. It is revealed to be Killer telling these events to Dust, who looks bored. Killer says "-and the name stuck, so that's why I'm called Killer now." Dust says very quietly "did I ask" Panel 12: Nightmare is standing in the corner behind them, he looks very surprised and concerned after hearing all this. Text with an arrow pointing to him reads "Didn't realise he had done this." Killer from out of frame says "he doesn't really call me his killer anymore tho" with a frowny face. Dust, also out of frame, says "that's nice now shut up" End ID.

#UTDR #UTMV #My Art #Truce au #Killer Sans #Nightmare Sans #Remember when I said I wouldn't have that comic done? Sike I finished it earlier #Anyway you ever accidentally name a guy and don't realise until years later when he brings it up #Killer loves it because he feels special for getting his own name that's not just his au #(and also because he wants to be Nightmare's favourite and this is his evidence) #Nightmare hates this. He did NOT mean to name his henchman like a pet he feels awful #Maybe down the road Dream can convince him how much Killer loves it and he'll let it go #Killer absolutely hates being called sans he doesn't want to think about his old life #So the new job and name were kind of just what he needed at the start #Anyway I'm rambling. I just thought it was interesting Killer was one of the few to not be named for his au #And given the name it might be something Nightmare had a hand in #He also helped him find his signature look with the inverted clothes colours but we'll get to that another time this is already too long

[magnus-rhymes-with-swagness]

OKAY who wants to hear about why i think nimona challenges amatonormativity? you do! 🫵

one of the main ways this is accomplished is through ballister and ambrosius’s relationship. it’s arguable that it doesn’t necessarily fit the traditional model of romance - not only are they a queer interracial couple, and not only is their relationship ambiguous in the book, but there are certain instances, especially in the movie, that subvert traditional ideas of romance and friendship.

one instance that really stands out to me is when the director asks ambrosius what’s on his mind and he goes on his imagined rant about how arm-chopping isn’t a love language - you know the one. when he mentions ballister, he refers to him as “the man i love, my best friend.” and not just one or the other, but both! the man i love, and my best friend. he places equal emphasis on both the romantic and platonic aspects of the relationship, valuing ballister in both a romantic context and a platonic context without treating either one as more important than the other.

and even moments such as the first “i love you” and the kiss manage to subvert tradition. both of these things are generally seen as a pretty big deal, especially in fiction - if the characters are kissing or saying “i love you,” it’s usually a moment in which everything changes. a line is drawn, dividing the story into after and now. sometimes it’s dramatic and climactic, with fireworks and a swell of music, but even when it isn’t it’s still seen as a turning point of sorts. now it’s official, now it’s real. but this isn’t the case in nimona. both moments are certainly significant - they do a good job of showcasing the character development and where ballister and ambrosius are on their respective journeys, and are certainly important in terms of representation - but neither one follows the path that most fictional romance does.

another way in which nimona challenges amatonormativity would be the emphasis on friendship! in the tavern scene (in the movie) when ambrosius suggests killing nimona, ballister disagrees and says “she’s my friend.” ambrosius replies with “aren’t i more than that?”, implying he’s more important than a friend - thus upholding amatonormative ideas. ballister becomes angry at that and leaves - challenging this idea and prioritizing his platonic relationship with nimona over his romantic one with ambrosius, as nimona is the one he wants to defend.

additionally, a big part of this scene is the way ballister deliberately rejects institute values while ambrosius unintentionally upholds them. and because the story challenges homophobia and transphobia (and other forms of bigotry) through the lens of the institute, it would make sense for it to challenge amatonormativity too! it’s something that’s become incredibly normalized, to the point that lots of people don’t even know it exists, and this is reminiscent of the institute brainwashing, especially when it comes to ambrosius - he’s been manipulated his whole life and probably genuinely doesn’t understand the level to which he’s internalized institute beliefs.

ballister prioritizes nimona many times, actually. when he tells ambrosius she’s “smart, kind, and quite sophisticated,” when he’s overjoyed to see her again at the end, when he refuses to kill her and saves her instead. over and over, he proves how much he cares about her, even when this involves directly going against what ambrosius wants - which, of course, is really what the institute wants. a core tenant of amatonormativity is the false notion that romantic relationships are more important or valuable than other types of relationships, but ballister actively goes against this!

to conclude, as a story that at its core is about identity and challenging societal beliefs, nimona defies expectations and traditional ideas of what it should or shouldn’t be. it’s possible that amatonormativity wasn’t what the creators had in mind, but the story still manages to challenge it with grace and elegance. just like its main character, nimona refuses to conform to what others want it to be.

#nimona #nimona movie #ballister blackheart #ballister boldheart #ambrosius goldenloin #ballister x ambrosius #ambrosius x ballister #nimona netflix #nd stevenson #nimona spoilers #i could go on tbh but i think this is a digestible amount #often when i’m writing a meta i’ll walk around in circles talking into my phone recording my thoughts out loud #and then i’ll play it back and put the most coherent stuff into a list which eventually becomes paragraphs #and the combined recordings for this one are about half an hour in total lol #i’m just. absolutely in love with the whole story. both the book and the movie mean so incredibly much to me #changed my life shaped me as a person etc etc :’) #OH i almost forgot. this analysis is dedicated to the person who sent me aphobic anon hate about it before it even existed lol #i know i said i wouldn’t post anything if people couldn’t be normal but idc actually. seethe with rage! <3 #my words #meta

[i-am-a-fan]

Making ref sheets is addicting… ANYWAYS Here’s Mk’s updated design in the LMK DND Au!

#lego monkie kid #my art #lmk #lmk mk #lmk au #lmk dnd au #I hated his old armor so much. but look at my boy. a whole new lease on life #speck art #specks lmk au

[kayzean]

I am blaming them for everything.

#no need for elaboration #these stupid gayass hedgehogs have taken over every aspect of my life #i hate them so much (/affectionate) #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #sonic prime #sonic x shadow generations #sonadow generations #sonadow #my art #kayzeanart

[m3ntal-hiatus]

gojo has one printed photo of geto, just one.

not two, because where’s the incentive to take care of them both? if the other is tarnished, he has a backup. there’s nothing that could make him cherish two or three, and love them equally.

no, he has one.

sure, he could have more. it wouldn’t be the same.

just. one.

sometimes it’s framed, sitting pretty on his desk or bedside table. sometimes it’s tucked carefully into his wallet.

sometimes, arguably most of the time, it’s in his hands.

it’s an ugly photo of him, really. he wasn’t ready for it and didn’t even know there was a camera pointed at him. candid — his head thrown back in a genuine hearty laugh, teeth and all.

gojo had managed to bug (beg) shoko enough to let him rifle through her old flip phone since he, of course, hadn’t bothered to take any photos of his own other than the odd selfie or two. he eventually scrolled far enough in shoko’s gallery that he found it, the date reading back to their earliest days at Jujutsu Tech. he almost hated himself for smiling with the photo.

he never gave shoko her phone back and she hadn’t asked for it. he had that photo printed, but only once.

he had to prove to himself that he could keep one good thing in his life.

#i am allergic to happiness at this point #i am ruined i am hollow #i hate them so much i love them #my wellbeing is at stake gege #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #geto suguru #geto #gojo #satosugu #stsg #the idea of gojo never being able to truly get over geto and actively seeking him out in every mundane aspect of his life #and shoko actively avoiding ever being reminded of it all until she has too #makes me violently upset #shoko ieiri #ieri shoko