#i get kinda wobbly now though i gotta work on that lol :>

[keeps-ache]

outside once again for designated outside time

#just me hi #the sun. ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh #it's nice rn :3👍 #//thinking of writing/drawing !! ? #i am PUMPED but it's the kind where it has no rhyme or reason so i just sit here vibrating hfbhs #i have GOT to finish a thang by today or i won't have it ready for tomorrow #so i SHOULD do that.. #gotta redo the sketch tho. cuz the initial idea is Way too much for the time i've got fbhs #not something i usually say but i am Always getting blindsided by the complications that come with animation lolll #i think 'oh i like drawing characters over and over again! this should be fun' but it is NOT the same #//WHERE YA THINK YA GOIN BABY HEEEYY I JUST MET YOU- #//cough anyway yea lol :3 #was also thinking i was gonna come out of my pi.e brain but i really heard One good song and oh there i go again hfbvshvf :D #it's just [strangling gesture (positive)] you know ? #Oh i made a thing for that too but i'll post it in a minute lol :) #//anyway speaking of designated outside time can SOMEBODY take me to a riverfront Please #i miss skating at the riverfront hbsh #cuz it was Always empty (except for the people fishing n they never moved from the railing) and i could go So Fast #i get kinda wobbly now though i gotta work on that lol :> #+ i wanna learn how to do jumps again. those were fun :D #my brother reed could JUMP though dude #the one time we went to open street they had ramps out and he was FLYING hfbsh #/though also speaking of that i think i'm getting better at turns again :D #it's taking a minute to remember how to use my feet but i'm getting there >:3 #//okey i'm gonna go spin now though :>>> #ooo toodles ooooo [ghosts away] !

[child-of-the-new-contagion]

really gratuitous grace

12:38am: well, talk about gratuitous grace… I'm doing it again, half a week later - twelve r30s this time, I'm being "moderate" cause I'm not going for a new record dose, just another demi-god trip, where I will probably feel like god again, but a lonely god still rubbing up against His own Grain, the infinite cosmos of limitations based on this little personality I am most of the time, like those weaponized changeling virii that cut off their hand to morph into sentient goo that projects itself as an angry voice that wants, that controls, that demands.

well, well, well well well well well well, there's 5 wells in this instance going back to the well well there's an eleven angstrom shell of heaven between the living void and hell well, look what we have here i guess i'm really trying to re-live the glory days, and yet have high high hopes for making something new as well… dosed about 12:35 - the idea was, don't worry about it so damn much, how bout a spontaneous trip with good vibes, a gratuitous grace, at a point where no reasonable algorithm would dare think i would even consider doing this on this date, considering past behavior - or maybe the cleverest algo behind the clever one would

i'm thinking maybe i'll go watch something and see if i can get into the watching movie trip, and see how that works - integrate more, get casual and spiritual at the same time, some profane fusion - maybe keep it thc free, see how that is - see if it's maybe like a couple of great times where i was trying to follow a trippy m night shayama lambda delta movie on ketamine on creek street - lady in the water, lol, that will always be an A movie for me because of the enhancement, you kinda had to be there, you know? yk?

i think i might try watching that star wars series, andor… we'll see how that does me

1:18 pretty sure I'm starting to feel it. Can I try not to be so lazy in the swoon? Also there's the need to pee, strong. Midsection issues…

Scots evolution… in this disconnected watching of episode 1 of andor, strange vibe, not really following, but seems vaguely profound, in a different way than weed makes things seem profound, less vague in that case

I'm profanizing… Connecting to pasts though, magic on its own…

1:30 look at them, those forest people characters They're all so young. This feeling is getting familiar… Why is there such a need to pee? Lol.

The guy that did that thing

No cats to worry about as I wobble desperately...

so

1:55 i'm plugging things into other things, getting really complicated. fugal. comp crashed… seems to demand metaphors…. ok, we gotta work up a lather here… it's so strange that i find T in this place, and C, and where is my E? the best of all? can't mix though.

Carry over a gratuity… How are we solving the world's problems now? Is this like when we tried to Knext? Should I invite M? Should I start a religion? We can do what we want from this corner! We demand that we do it E style. It's silly, it's lovely, it's an old doiley, but what was old is young again! We could even have B back, and D too, I remember her, and the bonding of elements to women i loved [I can edit whenever I want, remember, I can interpolate, there's meta-cognition going on now, so I can pass through one state and into another, time-travel even, in the telepathetic field]

not being recorded, except experientially… what the mckenna boys could do with sound

i'm not very real, really? am i? is this some fucking captured not that important crumble?

like those ol dabbley immorality players of oldes… hmmm, trying to raise a second sequel over here….

it all gets streeeetched, including cancer drugs… gettin a little personal here…. oh, the songs and tones of deadly politics… Fuck. Wow. No,.

How can we make words have power again. Assign value. How do we make things valuable again, oh, i feel like i figured it out cause i'm not in a music video….

this case

that case

in any case

crossfire

as long as the series of tubes and weird hand flanges…

shubling…

let us just integrate everything and see what happens [prollly nothing good] it's too dense right now….

the voices are arguing with each other thank you for taking it seriously thank you for laughing, thank you thank you

the heat feels good

M, my friend, join us….

omg, 9-

#dxm #dextromethorphan #dr0gs

[makeste]

BnHA 323: “I Don’t Know How to Explain to You That You Should Care About Other People”

Previously on BnHA: Kacchan was all, “Izuku, I’m sorry.” Bakugou Stans were all, “[sobs for a week straight and tearfully awards him the Nobel Prize for character development].” Deku was all, “[faints in Kacchan’s arms].” Iida was all, “[trying to decide if Ochako genuinely tried to kill him a few minutes ago].” Horikoshi was all, “NO TIME FOR HUGS WE MUST GET BACK TO UA.” The civilians holed up at U.A. were all, “WE TOOK A VOTE AND DECIDED THAT WE’RE ALL GOING TO BE JERKS ABOUT THIS AND MAKE A BIG FUSS ABOUT YOU LETTING DEKU BACK INTO THE SCHOOL.” Deku was all “[stands there looking like he expected nothing less and breaking my heart more and more with each passing moment].” Ochako was all, “that does it, looks like I’m gonna have to do something about this... next chapter, that is.”

Today on BnHA: Flashback!Rat Principal is all “I just want you all to know that I spent nine million dollars turning U.A. into a giant Battleship-style grid that can burrow underground and zoom around in a giant subway maze because Horikoshi lacks a grounded understanding of both civil engineering and economics.” Back in the present day, Jeanist is all, “EVERYONE TAKE HEED, MY COMRADES AND I HAVE DEEMED IT EXPEDIENT TO CONVEY THIS AUSPICIOUS YOUTH BACK TO THIS STRONGHOLD. WE ANTICIPATE THAT WE MAY DEPEND UPON YOUR GOODWILL AND ACQUIESCENCE TO THESE TERMS.” The civilians were all, “NO.” Ochako was all, “EMPATHY, MOTHERFUCKERS, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!” The civilians were all, “oh shit.” Anyway so Ochako is a giant badass, but I’m a little worried that she’s going to get struck by lightning. Please come down from there.

so before we start this chapter, I would just like to apologize for having not posted the ch 321 recap yet, and would like to reassure everyone, and especially Iida who is staring at me with Sad Wobbly Guilt Trip Eyes, that I will get to that as soon as I can

OMG FLASHBACK??

yes please Horikoshi please show us more of class 1-A and their Deku intervention strategy jam sessions

oh dear

Iida you are too pure and good for this cruel world. [sprays the U.A. civilians with a water bottle] NO. BAD CIVILIANS! NO OSTRACIZING SCARED AND EXHAUSTED CHILDREN IN THE HOUSE

EXCUSE ME RAT PRINCIPAL WHAT’S WITH THESE MIXED MESSAGES

???

RAT PRINCIPAL: he’s free to return to us at any time!!

ALSO RAT PRINCIPAL: but it’s too risky for him to return to us

?? ??????? ?????????????????????

so now he’s going on about how strong the U.A. Barrier is, and how it’s comparable to the defensive capabilities of Tartarus. this would have sounded a lot more impressive before chapter 297 lol

OH!!!! HELLO, WHAT’S THIS!!!

A TIMELY CALLBACK TO A CERTAIN MYSTERIOUS EVENT WHICH HASN’T BEEN REFERENCED SINCE USJ? [U.A. TRAITOR MUSIC INTENSIFIES]

so now Rat Principal says he upgraded U.A.’s security systems with his own “modifications”, whatever the fuck that means. I mean look, I’ve been saying for a long time now that U.A. is the best place for everyone to hole up, don’t get me wrong. but that was mostly on account of there not being any other practical alternatives. but you’re making it sound like you figured out a way to actually make it Decay-proof or some wild shit like that

-- hold up, DID YOU ADD A FORCE FIELD. DID YOU TRICK THIS SCHOOL OUT WAKANDA-STYLE YOU CRAZY MARSUPIAL. HOLY SHIT. because that would actually be perfect

LMAO

WHAT KIND OF GALAXY BRAIN BULLSHIT. “NAH THERE’S NO NEED FOR A FORCE FIELD, LET’S JUST PUT WHEELS ON IT”

oh okay so the whole campus is basically capable of burrowing itself underground. that’s insane lol I wonder how they pulled that off. probably got poor Cementoss working overtime

blah blah blah so basically the entire campus is split into a grid and each section of the grid is capable of its own independent movement. lol this is just the Merone Base from KHR. you thought no one would notice this casual plagiarism ten years after the fact, but YOU UNDERESTIMATED YOUR AUDIENCE, HORIKOSHI

“joke’s on you imma just lampshade it” WELL ALL RIGHT THEN

“look at me I’m so fucking self-aware” fucking swear to god. I can’t believe this man is my favorite mangaka of all time smdh

“excuse me, I wasn’t finished describing all the rest of this bullshit yet,” Rat Principal breaks in impatiently. “we also added a steel wall all around the underground of the campus that’s 3000 steel plates thick. that’s fifteen fucking meters of solid fucking steel just fyi. and if anyone fucks around with any part of it the defense system will activate immediately! and also all of the plates are independently motorized, whatever the fuck that means!! in conclusion you’re gonna need a fucking tower crane to suspend all of your disbelief by the time I’m through with this paragraph”

“also Shiketsu is almost as reinforced as U.A. but not quite because we still had to make sure we were better.” but of course. and apparently the two schools are connected via a secret tunnel as Hagakure mentioned earlier

LSDKFJLSDKJFLK

“WAIT WHAT” LMAO YOU HEARD HIM, NOW INASA CAN VISIT YOU BOTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE WEIRD DREAM HE HAD. GOD BLESS YOU HORIKOSHI

(ETA: moment of appreciation for Shouto and Katsuki having the same thought at the same time and making Knowing Eye Contact and saying the exact same thing out loud in perfect unison like the best friends they are. what a blessed day.)

so Tokoyami is all “but wait if you engineered all this shit all the way back during the Band arc how did you even know that Tomura’s quirk awakening would become a thing, Horikoshi -- uh, I mean, Principal Nezu”

and Rat Principal is all “lol idk”

“basically I just woke up one morning and was all ‘say, you know what this school really needs? a fifteen-meter-thick underground steel wall, and the ability to break up into little pieces that individually zoom around wherever the fuck they want.’ jesus christ. lol if money and common sense were apparently no obstacle why didn’t you just teleport U.A. to the fucking moon or something. maybe I should shut up before I given him any ideas

dsfaelkjldkjgl

you heard it here first, folks, all of this cost a grand total of nine million U.S. dollars. well technically it cost “more than” nine million dollars. never has that distinction been more important lmao. are we sure this barrier was really made of steel and not cardboard? who the hell sold it to them, Ea-Nasir??

this is my favorite manga series of all time. yes I am ashamed

“in conclusion please do your best to reach Deku-kun” SO WHAT WAS ALL THAT NONSENSE ABOUT IT BEING TOO RISKY THEN. anyway thank you for this super informative and edifying flashback, Horikoshi. I will cherish it always. I don’t even want to read another translation of this absurdity lmao, there’s something special about it just the way it is. pretty sure Horikoshi just had a cracked out fever dream one night and transferred it to the pages of the manga verbatim

anyway so back to the unruly mob

not their finest moment. please excuse me while I cover poor Deku’s ears and give him a good shoosh pap

oh wow the parents are out here too

is Mitsuki trying to hold Inko back?? that’s the last thing this fandom needs right now is more Mitsuki discourse fffwlkjs. and even Jiroudad, scientifically proven to be the best dad in all of BnHA, is just standing there silently looking vaguely unhappy. way to rise to the moment you guys

MONOMA

so this settles it for me that Aizawa is not at UA. I know a lot of people have been wondering about his whereabouts, and if I had to wager a guess it would be that something happened with Shirakumo/Kurogiri. I can’t think of anything else -- even the loss of an eye and a limb -- that would keep him from his kids at a time like this

anyway but this is excellent Monoma content right here though. I love that he apparently adopted Eri after a single interaction with her. also WHERE IS SHINSOU DAMMIT. THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW

and Kouta’s there too looking like he wants to run over to Deku but Ragdoll won’t let him :/

it’s gotta be pretty upsetting for him to see his hero like this and not having anyone stand up for him. [taps megaphone] IS THIS THING ON. OKAY YEAH IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING. AHEM. PAGING URARAKA OCHAKO. GONNA NEED YOU TO GET OVER HERE ALREADY AND MAKE THAT BIG DRAMATIC SPEECH WHICH YOU ARE CLEARLY DYING TO MAKE. IF YOU DON’T DO IT SOON I’M GONNA HAVE TO STEP IN, AND YOU REALLY DON’T WANT ME TO DO THAT SINCE MY SPEECH WILL NOT BE VERY GOOD OR INSPIRING, AND WILL PROBABLY JUST CONSIST OF “HELLO, YOU ARE ALL STUPID, PLEASE SHUT UP AND GO AWAY”

so now Mic is telling them to calm down. at least someone’s speaking up here, geez

OH MY GOD

MY MAN JEANIST OUT HERE DOING WHAT HE DOES BEST: MAKING EVERYONE FEEL GUILTY AND JUDGED

OH MY GOD HE IS GIVING SUCH A LONG AND BORING SPEECH LMAO IS YOUR STRATEGY TO PUT THEM ALL TO SLEEP OR WHAT

truly in awe of this man’s ability to take messages which could easily be conveyed in ELI5-speak, and stubbornly convert them into incomprehensible language the likes of which you need a graduate degree in order to understand

“hey guys, so originally our plan was to use Deku as bait for the villains, but that didn’t really work and also we realized it was kinda dumb and was probably gonna get him killed, so we brought him back here instead.” was that really so hard, Jeanist. also are we all really just gonna sit back here and watch Jeanist take full credit for Bakugou’s plan just like that lmao

(ETA:

WHERE DID ENDEAVOR GO AND WHO IS THIS DIABOLICAL MASTER OF DISGUISE. lol I genuinely didn’t notice this because I was too busy digging through thesauruses trying to rewrite Jeanist’s speech; many thanks to @class1akids​ for pointing it out and making my day immeasurably better. take it easy there Dick Tracy.)

“anyway so please stop being dicks and let him fucking rest so he can save all your ungrateful asses” what an impassioned and inspiring plea. time to see if the masses will listen to reason

narrator: they did not listen to reason

oh my god finally Ochako is doing something. YEAH OCHAKO WOOOO SHOW THEM HOW IT’S DONE

hmm

this entire chapter is truly and utterly nonsensical to me lol

(ETA: on my second readthrough I’m fucking dying at how she stole the megaphone right out of Mic’s hand lmao. and how Kacchan is all “fuck yeah nothing I appreciate more than some quality fucking larceny.”)

oh I see she was jumping on top of the main building so as to scream down at them all more impressively

“ANYWAY DEKU IS PRETTY COOL ACTUALLY, YOU GUYS ARE JUST MEAN” couldn’t have said it better myself Ochako

lol uh

gotta say I did not have “Ochako reveals the secret of OFA to the entire U.A. Citizen Clown Parade” on my bingo card for this week. it’s a bold strategy cotton let’s see if it pays off

SDLFKJSL

“NO, SERIOUSLY, HAVE YOU LOOKED AT HIM YOU GUYS. YOU THINK HE LIKES RUNNING AROUND DRESSED LIKE A RUSTED OIL DRUM?? HE DID THAT FOR YOU YOU UNGRATEFUL SLOBS”

so she is basically explaining the entire Deku Angst arc to them and explaining what a good and selfless protagonist Deku is, YES, PREACH

OMG IT’S THE GIGANTIC FOX LADY

not to insinuate anything, but what exactly were you doing standing out here with the hysterical mob, Gigantic Fox Lady? you’re better than that

-- KACCHAN SIGHTING!!

sdlkfjl. thanks for weighing in with that helpful and important observation. where have you been for the last five minutes. were you asleep. was it Jeanist’s speech

never mind, now he’s yelling at the civilians so I instantly forgive him

THE FUTURE NUMBER ONE HERO, EVERYONE. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. HE’LL BE HERE ALL WEEK

“anyway so I’m just going to end the chapter here” lmao seventeen pages truly do go by so fast. at least he didn’t try to force in a cliffhanger at the end this time. dare I say, growth

so I guess the civilians are either gonna have a Kamino and/or Fukuoka-esque moment where they remember how to be decent people and apologize to this poor young man, or else they’ll remain unpersuaded, and so Kacchan will have to knock a few of their heads around until they become more inclined to be reasonable. either option is fine by me lol

#bnha 323 #uraraka ochako #rat principal #class 1-a #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

[st0nesnglitter]

Recomendations

You and George are in a secret relationship.

Dipping my toes in some smut.

Fem!reader

Dedicated to @thotbutpurple cause she kinda convinced me to write smut lol

—————

You walked through the door of Weasleys Wizard Wheeze the sound of laughter and the whirring of machines met your ears. Children ran around with their parents right behind trying to find the coolest gadget to spend their pocket money on. In the midst of it all you saw locks of red hair running around to help everyone. You smiled at Fred and George and you were met with two warm hugs, one slighlty longer than the other.

”Hello boys” you said as you looked around the store ”wow this is a popular place”.

”Well I’ve heard that most customers come to ogle at the handsome owners” Fred joked before bending down ”or at least one of them” he winked at you.

George let it slide, knowing very well how much you liked to ogle at him. Even though he hated not being able to scream how much he loved you he liked the the whispers, the secret touches when Fred was around. And he liked to be silently cocky when Fred cracked jokes, giving you a knowing look.

”I gotta get back work” Fred said and walked to the register.

You nudged George with your hip and he smiled down at you. As Fred expertly worked through the crowd of people wanting to pay the store emptied out slightly.

”Are you fine out here?” George asked his brother ”wanna unpack the new delivery”.

Fred nodded and waved George away.

”C’mon” George mumbled and brought you to the back of the store and into the inventory. You jumped up on a packing bench and looked over at your boyfriend.

”So, Mr. Weasley, got any recomendations? Thinking about buying some candy” You asked as he walked over to you.

”Well, there is something I’d really like to eat in the store right now” he murmured and you let out an exaggerated gasp.

“Georgie! Keep it in your pants, you’re at work!” You exclaimed and shoved his shoulders lighlty. He rolled his eyes and rid himself off his jacket and waistcoat to start lifting the boxes.

“Help me sort through these will you?” He asked as he placed a box next to you “ingredients in one pile and products ready to shelf in another”.

You nodded and started flipping through the box. As you worked George kept bringing in boxes and he started to get a little hot. He opened the first two button on his shirt and slid his tie off. Your attention shifted from your task at hand to your boyfriends heavy breathing. His arms were defined through his shirt and you bit your bottom lip. He looked up at you and shot you a grin.

”Thought we were supposed to keep it in our pants” he walked up to you and put an arm on either side of your legs. For once you were actually slightly taller, sitting on the bench. You put your hand around his neck and played with his hair.

”Fred might see us” you mumbled as he pressed a kiss to your jawline.

”Gotta be quiet then” he smirked at you and started leaving kisses down your neck. He stopped momentarily and squeezed your leg to get consent from you ”can you do that love?”

”Y-yeah” you stammered out and he smiled against your cheek.

”Good girl” he murmered and continued his attack on your neck. Your grip on his hair tightened and he groaned.

”Gonna let me eat the treat I talked about earlier?” He asked in between two love bites and you nodded enthusiastically.

“Words, darling”.

“Yes please, Georgie” you breathed out and he shot you a grin before lowering his head to your stomach. He left a couple kisses as his hands came up and rubbed your thighs. You were thankful that you opted for a skirt this morning cause George had some easy access. His fingers played with the waistband of your underwear and you whined. The sound was like a symphony for him and he gave in and slowly pulled your panties down your legs. His head came up and kissed your lips.

“Want my fingers pretty girl?” He asked as he pulled away as one finger teased your entrance.

“Yes, fuck, please!” you started getting frustrated at his slow movements.

“Y’know I love your noises but you gotta keep it down, darling” he whispered before sinking to his knees. You treaded your fingers through his hair and he chuckled against your thigh. He sucked in a breath as your pussy came into his view.

“Look at that” he said to himself as he pushed in one finger “so pretty, ‘n all for me”.

You clenched around his finger and put your legs over his shoulders. His lips came in contact with your bundle of nerves and you threw your head back. His finger started going in faster.

“Fuck George!” You moaned and he immediatlely pulled his mouth away.

“You need to quiet down, or I’ll put that mouth to better use” he hissed and you were about to answer him but you heard Freds footsteps getting closer. Georges finger left you and you flipped your skirt down and jumped off the bench, a little wobbly. Fred opened the door and walked up to George with some papers.

“Everything in order, right?” He asked as Georges eyes looked through the list, mind fillied with entirely different thoughts.

“Um, yeah send it away” said and Fred left again, completely unaware of the lewd actions his brother and you just took part in.

The grin on Georges face could be seen from miles away as he popped his finger in his mouth.

“Tastes sweeter than any candy” he teased you and you hit his arm.

“Where did my underwear go?” You asked, painfully aware that you were bare under your skirt. George shrugged and you gave him a stern look.

“George!” You whined and he rolled his eyes and pulled them out of his backpocket. After you slipped them on and started to walk out he gripped your hips and bent down.

“Gonna punish you for not being quiet later tonight, by making you scream”.

—————

I hate this 😀😀😀

#george weasley one shot #george weasley smut #george weasley x you #george weasley blurb #george weasley x reader #george weasley x y/n #george weasley fic #george weasley

[nastybuckybarnes]

Monsters  -  Four

Pairing: Dark!Bucky X Reader

Summary: Bucky Barnes is a man who just wants to do better. But he can’t stop the monster from coming out every now and then. As a last and hopeless attempt at calming The Winter Soldier, SHIELD finds him something they figured would help. An innocent young woman with not a lot going for her. Or, The Winter Soldiers newest victim.

Warnings: Angst, Smut, Language, Fluff, Sickness, Minor Injuries, Trigger warning kinda but not as bad as the last chapter

Word Count: 2.2K

A/n: here you go! I say fuck a posting schedule lol

THIS IS A DARK FIC WITH SEXUAL AND TRIGGERING CONTENT!!!

~*~

You sleep for a long time.

Nearly three days.

Bucky grows increasingly worried with each day that goes by that you don’t open your eyes. It gets to the point where he’s tempted to call a doctor, but he has no idea how he would explain it to them.

You finally wake up, in the afternoon of the third day, and Bucky is so relieved he could cry.

“Hey,” he whispers, helping you sit up when he sees you start to struggle. You look around curiously, confused until your eyes land on the gauze wrapped around your arms.

You look up at him, bottom lip wobbling, and he shakes his head, shushing you.

“It’s okay. You’re okay. I’m not gonna hurt you.” During the days when you were unconscious, it was a struggle to keep the soldier at bay. He won the fight every night though, the guilt weighing heavier than the desire to fuck.

“Why didn't you let me die?” You whimper, sorrow in your eyes. He rests his forehead against your shoulder and sighs.

“You called me a monster, and I got mad because I didn’t want you to be right. And then I proved your point. I just... the monster is there, inside of me. I can usually keep him at bay but... I know it’s not an excuse, and I may never make it up to you, but I didn’t want to hurt you the way that I did. I... it’s like I wasn’t in control of my own hands.” You don’t reply, keeping your eyes on your arms.

“I’m gonna go make you some soup. You’ve been asleep for three days. You need to eat. And drink. Okay?” You nod glumly, still emotionally numb as your mind tries to block out everything that happened.

Bucky’s only gone for a few minutes before he returns with a steaming bowl of soup and a plastic cup full of water. He hands you the water first, and your hands shake as you grab it. You take a small sip the grimace as your stomach flips.

“I know you probably don’t want to, but you’ve gotta eat just a little bit. Okay?” You nod and let him spoon feed you the soup. It’s good. Chicken noodle, from what you can tell, but no matter how good it tastes or how warm it feels going down, your stomach doesn’t want it.

You gag, hand coming up to cover your mouth, and Bucky curses, putting the soup on the side table and grabbing you in his arms. He rushes into the bathroom but he’s not fast enough. What little you ate comes rushing back up, spewing out of your mouth and all over yourself and a little on him.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, trying not to get too grossed out.

Your head lolls back, eyes rolling as a dizzy spell overwhelms you. He sets you down carefully on the counter, peeling the sweater off of you and tossing it into the hamper in the corner. You take shallow breaths, body aching.

He turns the shower on then rids himself of his clothes before doing the same to you. The two of you are naked in no time, and then he’s bringing you into the shower, the water a little too cool for your liking, but you don’t have it in you to complain.

He holds you upright, hands supporting your weight as the water pelts down on the two of you. You feel like everything is spinning, so you lay your head against his chest and take deep breaths in through your mouth. He presses a kiss to the top of your head and rubs your back gently.

“You’re okay.” He grabs a loofa and squirts some body wash on it, then starts gently washing your body.

His actions are innocent enough until he gets between your legs. It’s like you can sense the switch when he goes from Bucky to Soldier.

His hands grip you just a little firmer, his breathing is a little harder, his eyes dark and slightly glazed over. He pushes you against the wall gingerly, and you’re surprised by how gentle he’s being.

He hikes your legs up, one knee held over each of his arms. You lie there, half-conscious as the water rains down on you.

He slides his cock through your folds a few times before impaling you, stretching you on his thick length. He grunts softly in your ear, muttering softly in Russian as he fucks you. His thrusts aren't rough and hard, they’re long and precise, each one making your cunt instinctively clench on him.

You keep your eyes closed, wanting nothing more than to go to sleep, but he keeps fucking you until he cums, spilling inside of you with a low groan. He stays sheathed inside of you, palms splayed on the tile by your hips, and you close your eyes tightly as another dizzy spell hits you.

He sighs and you know that Bucky is back. He pulls out of you and carefully lowers you to the ground before picking you up again and taking you out of the shower. He sits you on the counter once more, turns the shower off, then dries your body with a fluffy grey towel.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. You don’t reply. You don’t think you could speak if you wanted to. Your head won’t stop spinning.

He picks you up and brings you into his room again, laying you down on the bed and tucking you in. “I’m gonna go get you a garbage can, in case you need to go again,” he whispers, smoothing your hair around your face.

Your eyes are already closed and he sighs, hating the fact that he caused this. What’s worse, is that the soldier took over while he was trying to make it up to you. He took advantage of your vulnerable state.

He sets a new cup of water on the nightstand and a garbage can on the floor, hoping that you get better soon.

~*~

You do.

It’s nearly two weeks of consuming next to no food or water and throwing up multiple times a day, but you eventually start recovering, and for that, he couldn’t be more grateful.

You’re sitting in his bed, sipping on some tea, when he comes into the room.

“How are you feeling?” He asks, hand resting on your knee through the blanket. You shrug, not meeting his gaze.

“I’m sorry. I... I don’t think I’ll ever be able to apologize enough.” You shrug again.

“I can tell.” He’s confused and you sigh, “I can tell when it’s not you. When it’s... him.” He raises his eyebrows and you look down, chewing your bottom lip for a moment before you muster up enough courage to speak.

“When... when you touch me... it’s softer. You might say mean things, but your hands don’t squeeze too hard. And when it’s him touching me... he holds me really really tight.” He raises his eyebrows, having had no idea that that was a thing.

“So I know when it’s you and when it’s him. And I know that you haven’t touched me since...” you trail off and he nods, scratching the nape of his neck. “It wasn’t all me,” he whispers again, trying to explain himself. “It was me at first, but then... it’s like he was controlling me.” You nod, not looking up.

“I don’t remember all of it, but I know your voice sounded different. Angrier.” He cups your cheek gently, cursing himself when you flinch away.

“Since then I haven’t been nearly as bad,” he whispers. “I can tell. The soldier... when he comes now he’s more gentle. He’s not nearly as rough as before.” He nods, happy that this is at least working.

You lean back against the headboard and close your eyes, exhausted beyond belief.

“It’s gonna take some time for you to heal up fully, but you’re making great progress. In a few days, you’ll be eating solid’s again. And then you’ll be up and walking around again.” You nod, eager to be healthy again.

He looks from your eyes to your lips, then back down, licking his lips.

“When I picked you... I didn't think they’d really go through with it. I thought it would’ve been another plan that never got to see the light of day. But then you were here and... I... I was in shock. You’re even more beautiful in person. And you’re so strong and resilient.” You look up, eyes finding his pretty pink lips.

“I know I haven’t been good to you, but can I please kiss you?” You nod meekly, eyes fluttering closed as he presses his lips to yours in a gentle kiss.

It’s everything a kiss with him should be, and so much more. His hands rest on your neck, thumbs gently rubbing the corner of your jaw, right below your ears.

You pull away after a moment more and rest your forehead against his, a small smile gracing your lips.

“This is how things should be,” he whispers, stroking your hair gently. You nod, hands coming up to hold onto his wrists.

“Yeah.” The word is whispered so softly from your lips, that if he didn’t have enhanced hearing, he wouldn’t have heard it.

He presses another gentle kiss to your lips then pulls away. “You should rest,” he whispers, leaning back to look at you. You hesitantly meet his eyes, and when you don’t see the darkness and anger that was there before, you nod.

“Yeah, okay.” You lay down and relax, smiling to yourself as he gently traces over your cheek, his fingers soft and feather-light, a drastic change from his touches three weeks ago.

~*~

It’s a week later when you can walk again, a week after that when he feels comfortable enough to leave you alone, with access to very few things.

He’s on the jet home, mind on you as the rest of the team celebrates a mission gone well.

“You were great out there, James,” Natasha says with a smile, patting his shoulder. He grins at her, cheeks turning pink.

“I see your new remedy is working?” Steve asks, grinning from ear to ear. Bucky scratches his neck and nods. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.” Nat looks between the two super-soldiers, brows furrowed.

“What kind of remedy is that?” Bucky shakes his head at the redhead. “Just something Fury recommended. Didn’t think I could do it but here we are.” She nods, looking up into his eyes with a gentle smile.

“I’m glad it’s working. It’s good to see you back to normal. I missed the normal you.” He nods, sighing softly as his mind goes to you. “Yeah, I’ve missed it too.” She rests her hand on his shoulder then sighs, letting it slide off and rest in front of her.

“You’re coming tonight, right?” He furrows his brows in confusion. “What’s tonight?”

“Stark’s throwing a little celebration. It’s just gonna be us there. But he wants to celebrate such a clean streak of missions.” He mulls it over, then eventually decides that you’ll be fine if he stays out for another night. You’ve proven that you’re not going to harm yourself anymore, and you seem like you’re starting to genuinely enjoy the arrangement.

“It’d mean a lot to me if you came,” She says, being vulnerable for a moment with him. He raises his eyebrows then nods, knowing not to take her vulnerability lightly. “Yeah. I’ll be there.”

The night consists of soft music, card games, and drinks, all courtesy of one Tony Stark. Bucky spends a fair portion of the night beside Natasha, the two of them laughing and talking together for hours as they each have drink after drink.  

Eventually, when things start winding down and Bucky’s walking her to her room, he brings up a painful topic.

“That night… when I tried to… you know... “ She looks up at him, smiling gently as he tries to express his feelings. “I’m sorry. It… it wasn’t me. And I know that that’s no excuse, but I mean it. But I’m starting to control the monster more.” She cups his cheeks, leans up on her toes, and presses a kiss to his lips.

“I know you’d never willingly hurt me. And I don’t blame you for what the soldier does. I know that the two of you aren’t the same person.” He wraps his arms around her and kisses her deeper, tongue brushing against her plump pink lips. She pulls him backwards until they’re in her room, and closes the door, panting against his mouth as his hands wander over her form.

Her curves are inviting, and he can’t help but grab her ass. She moans into his mouth and the two of them tumble to the bed, Bucky ready to apologize physically for all the things the soldier did, the things that he’s been wanting to do since he first laid eyes on her.

#bucky x nat #Dark Series #dark!fic #dark #dark!bucky barnes #steve x reader dark fic #bucky x reader dark au #Steve rogers x reader Dark!fic #dark!marvel #james bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes/reader #bucky barnes x reader #tw suidice

[plaidbooks]

Hey love may I please have a sexy Rafael Barba x reader form the winter/hoilday list number 12 "so you're going to dress up as santa" go hard on the sexy ;)

Undercover Mishaps

A/N: This is...not at all what you asked for, and I’m sorry! This somehow just turned into really tender, kinda angsty with a happy ending smut? I’m not sure what happened here! If you want to send in another Rafi request, I understand lol

Tags: rape mention, smut, little bit of cockwarming, mostly just very tender p in v sex

Words: 2k+

Taglist: @the-baby-bookworm @beccabarba @thatesqcrush @itsjustmyfantasyroom @stardust-fray @permanentlydizzy @averyhotchner @mrsrafaelbarba

You stood outside your boyfriend’s office, taking a deep breath. You were going undercover tonight, and you wanted to tell Rafael in person, because you knew he wasn’t going to be happy about it. He never was. While he was supportive of, and understood your job with SVU, he hated when you were intentionally put in harm’s way. And tonight, you—as well as Amaro—would be bait. Exhaling, you knocked, waiting for him to call out to you before entering his office.

Rafael looked up at you, smiling. “Cariño,” he greeted, before he saw the look on your face, his smile fading. “What’s wrong?”

You tried to give him a reassuring smile. “Nothing’s wrong, Rafi. I’m just stopping by to let you know I’m going undercover tonight, so don’t expect me home for dinner.” There was no point beating around the bush; he’d see right through you anyways.

His eyes narrowed and he stood from his desk, coming over to you. “Undercover? Doing what? Which case?” You could hear the worry in his voice, though he tried to mask it.

You fidgeted nervously. “The, uh, BX9 case? I’ll be—”

“Wait, wait,” Rafael said, cutting you off. You could see the wheels turning in his mind as he tried to put two and two together. “You mean the same BX9 case where gang members are violently attacking volunteer Santa Claus’? The ones that are raping the victims with lead pipes? That case? So, what, you’re going to dress up as Santa? Be fucking bait?” His voice got louder with each word he said until he was almost yelling.

You swallowed past the lump in your throat. But you weren’t going to back down; this was your job. “Yes, I’ll be a Santa…as will Amaro. Don’t worry, Rafi, we’ll have people watching us—”

“Don’t worry?? How the hell can you expect me to not worry?! You’re going to be bait for one of the most vicious gangs in Manhattan!” Rafael ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “They realize that Santa is a guy, right? And you’re a woman—”

“Rafael, I’m doing my job, whether you like it or not,” you snapped back. “Besides, the department doesn’t have a suit that would fit Carisi, and I’m not about to repeat what Fin said when asked. So, I volunteered.”

He glared at you, his eyes taking in your set jaw, your straight back and shoulders, head held high and eyes clear. “At least tell me who’s watching you.”

“I got Rollins and Carisi; Liv and Fin are with Amaro.”

Rafael groaned. “You get the fucking new kid?”

You put your hands on his shoulders, locking your eyes with his green ones, clouded with concern and worry. “Rafi, I’ll be fine. I promise, okay? Rollins and Carisi’s got me…. I gotta go. I’ll text you as soon as it’s done.” You gave him another reassuring smile, and he pulled you into a tight hug, giving you a desperate kiss, unwilling to let you go.

“Stay safe, please…come home to me,” he murmured against your lips.

“Of course,” you whispered back before pulling away, heading out the door.

 ************************

You walked the freezing, deserted streets of Manhattan, the fat-suit hanging uncomfortably around you and the fake beard itched your face. When you had come out of the locker room in the department, dressed as Santa, it was hysterical; Rollins and Carisi had been quick to take pictures of you and Amaro next to each other. You were virtually unrecognizable, looking like any other Rent-A-Santa, indistinguishable from Amaro except maybe your height. But after walking the streets for the past two hours, you were done with the whole op.

“Liv is saying to give it one more hour,” Rollins’ voice said in your ear through the earpiece.

You grunted, knowing they’d hear you in the mic. “Fine.” You heard the footsteps moments before you saw the group of three men running at you, weapons in hand. They were yelling something in Spanish, and you vaguely heard Carisi call to move in. You threw your arms in front of you, saying in a deep, fake-male voice, “now hang on, I don’t want any trouble—"

One of the men swung a metal bat at your stomach, and you couldn’t move fast enough to dodge it. Thankfully, the fat-suit absorbed the brunt of the hit; the wind was knocked out of your lungs, though, and you bent forward. You didn’t see which one swung at you the second time, nor what hit you; you just felt the impact in your side. You grunted as you went down, the cold, hard sidewalk instantly freezing you as you slumped against it.

“Freeze, NYPD!” Carisi’s voice shouted over the commotion. Him and the other officers bolted after the three men, who dropped their weapons, the metal clattering, and took off.

Rollins knelt by you, a hand on your shoulder as she looked you over. “[Y/N], are you okay?” she asked.

You groaned, holding your side. “Y-yeah, I’m fine. Just a bruise.” You struggled to your knees, trying to push yourself to standing. The bite from the cement was already seeping through the clothes and into your skin.

“Woah, woah, take it easy. That was a heavy hit,” Rollins said. You ignored her, your legs wobbling slightly as you got them underneath you.

“Get this stupid thing off me,” you ordered through gritted teeth, unable to reach the clasp behind you for the fat-suit.

Rollins quickly unclipped it, sliding it gently off you. She helped raise your shirt, lightly prodding the spot you were hit in. You sucked in a breath in pain, tears in your eyes.

“Is it bad?” you asked.

“It’s already bruising; I’m taking you to the hospital,” she replied.

You nodded, resigning to your fate. Suddenly, Carisi’s voice came on over the earpiece. “We got all three on the gang members. [Y/N] okay?”

“Fine; I’m taking her to the hospital. Can you get a ride back to the precinct? Let Liv know?” Rollins explained, wrapping an arm around your uninjured side and guiding you back towards the squad car.

“No problem; go,” he said.

 **************************

Rafael was sitting in his home office, trying to focus on work. But his mind kept going back to you, wondering if you were alright. He often caught himself staring out the window, wondering where you were, debating if he should text Rollins—he knew you couldn’t answer while undercover—just to make sure everything was okay. Soon enough, he gave up work altogether, going to the kitchen to pour himself a lowball glass of scotch, to help settle his nerves. You’d been undercover before and you’d been just fine. But he had a bad feeling about tonight.

When his phone rang, your ID flashing across his screen, he nearly dropped it in his rush to answer. “Hermosa, everything okay?” he answered, unable to keep the worry out of his voice.

“Fine, Rafi; just wanted to give you an update,” you replied, keeping your voice light. But he could tell instantly that something was wrong; there was a strain in your voice that wasn’t there before.

“What happened?” Rafael asked, his stomach dropping.

You let out a huff which could have been laughter, but just sounded like pain. “I was hit with a baseball bat; nothing bad, don’t worry,” you rushed to say. “Rollins took me to get checked out by the hospital, but I’ll be home soon.”

His heart fluttered in his chest. “I’ll be right there; Mercy Hospital?” He made his way towards the door, grabbing his winter jacket from the coat rack.

“No Rafi, don’t. By the time you get here, I’ll be on my way home, anyways,” you chuckled before it turned into a hiss of pain. “It’s just a bruise; I’m fine. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

Rafael sighed heavily, rehanging his jacket and pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. “Fine. Just…get here soon…please.”

“I will. I promise. I love you, Raf,” you said, smiling into the phone.

“I love you, too.”

 *******************************

Sure enough, you were walking through Rafael’s front door 20 minutes later, a deep bruise in your left side, but otherwise unharmed. He was instantly off the couch, hurrying over to you. Rafael put his hands on your shoulders, holding you at arm’s length, eyes scanning your face before he brought you against his chest in a tight hug. You hissed in pain, and he instantly released you, though he kept his hands on your shoulders, unable to keep from touching at least some part of you.

“I’m sorry, are you okay? Did I hurt you? Where were you hit? Show me,” Rafael demanded, his words rushed, like he didn’t know where to start.

You gave him a tired smile. “I’m fine, baby. Just a little sore.” You turned your side towards him, lifting your shirt to expose the deep black, blue, and purple bruise overtaking your left side.

“Oh hermosa…” he mumbled, his fingertips ghosting over your skin lightly. You winced when he touched the spot where the bat had connected with you.

“It looks worse than it is, but there’s no internal bleeding, no broken bones or torn muscles. Just a—a flesh wound,” you replied. Rafael examined you for a moment more before he finally tore his eyes away from your injury, his eyes trailing up to your face. He looked so…worried still, so sad and devasted that you were hurt. Unable to stand that look in those normally bright green eyes, you embraced him, nuzzling your head against his chest. Gently, much more gently than normal, Rafael wrapped his arms around your torso, careful not to touch your left side. His hands went to your back, rubbing comforting circles into your shoulder blades.

“I’m okay, Rafi. I’m safe,” you whispered into his chest, tugging him impossibly closer.

“And I’m so thankful you are,” he muttered back, kissing the top of your head.

You leaned back enough to look up at him. You looked into his eyes, then to his lips before you moved to kiss him, your hands threading into his short hair. He kissed you back, needy, desperate, putting all his affection for you into the kiss. You could feel his worry, his nervousness, and you kissed him harder, trying to make those feelings fade away, until there was nothing left but the two of you, your love for each other stronger than anything else.

You pulled out of his grip, taking his hand, and leading him to his bedroom. By some unspoken agreement, you both started undressing yourselves. Once in your bra and panties, you gave him a look. “Help?” you asked. Like with the fat-suit, you couldn’t reach behind your back without your side barking in pain.

Rafael’s eyes softened as he moved to you, unhooking your bra for you. “Are you sure you wanna do this?” he asked despite his darkened eyes, his already half-hard length.

“Yes, Raf…I need you. Tonight, I just need to feel you…everywhere.”

He helped you our of your panties, then kissed you slowly, passionately. You walked backwards with him until your legs hit the bed, then sat. He stood, stroking himself lazily to full hardness, while you pulled yourself up the bed until your head was on the pillows. Once ready, you beckoned to him and he climbed on top of you, his lips trailing over every bit of skin he could reach. He propped himself on one arm, careful not to put his full body weight on your injured side while he kissed you deeply, his other hand dipping between your thighs, stroking your slit slowly. You moaned against his mouth, your hands trailing over his sides as he slid two fingers into you, stretching you.

“I was…so worried…I knew something had happened,” Rafael murmured, pumping his fingers into you.

You rocked your hips against his hand, wincing as the movement stretched your side painfully. “I’m okay, Rafi. I’m here, I’m safe now,” you whispered back, kissing his cheek. He pulled his fingers from you, lining himself up. He slowly pushed into you until he filled you completely, then stopped, waiting, watching your face. He stroked your cheek, brushing your hair out of your face.

“But what if you weren’t?”

Your heart strained with how vulnerable he sounded in this moment.  You clutched at him tighter, resting your forehead against his, looking deep into his eyes. “Don’t worry about ‘what ifs,’ Raf. I’m here, and nothing’s gonna change that.” You tightened your pelvic muscles, clenching around his cock, and he let out a groan. “You can feel me, right? Don’t we fit together perfectly? Just focus on feeling me right now.”

Rafael nodded, kissing your forehead. “I feel you…I feel all of you…I just hate when you’re undercover. I hate not knowing if your coming home, or if you’re lying in the street somewhere, bleeding out.”

“I know baby, I know,” you scratched his back lightly. “But that’s the job sometimes. I don’t try to get hurt. You know I try and come home to you every night.”

He sighed. “I know. Of course, I know. Just…don’t make this”—his fingertips lightly graze over your side, and you sucked in a breath—“a habit.”

“I don’t plan on it,” you smiled at him. And finally, finally, he returned it, the worry and concern disappearing from his eyes as he kissed you deeply. Then, he moved, his thrusts slow, deep, careful. You held him close to you, your lips never leaving each other’s except to whisper how much you loved each other. He reminded you over and over again how much he cared about you, and you let him know that you were home with him, safe with him there. When you eventually came, it was with his name on your lips, his fingers intertwined with yours, and your heart full of love. Rafael came soon after you, his forehead pressed against yours, his thumb stroking your cheek.

He rolled off you, laying on his back next to you. You tucked into his side, and he wrapped an arm around you. He sat up enough to look at your bruise once more before laying back with a huff.

“Next time, you get Liv watching your back. Not fucking Fordham.” He muttered. You laughed, cuddling closer to him.

#rafael barba x reader #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfic #fanfic #my writing #I'm so sorry idk what happened #feel free to send in dom!raf requests #I'll do better next time XD #itsjustmyfantasyroom

[aprillikesthings]

My very good then very terrible day

I have more to post about 221b con (it was great! Daci came with me! parts of it were hard because my desperate need to socialize with all the people I loved and missed for two years was in constant battle with my socialization battery being WAY SMALLER than the last time I saw these people!!)

but

today

good LORD

So first: we got up early-ish because we had to pack up and check out and there were sad hugs and all that shit

(also I had an oddly existential crisis over some expensive food I forgot to eat and could not bring with me bc the container was kinda leaky)

BUT ALSO me and Daci and @whogrooveson were going to the Georgia Aquarium!

The Aquarium part of the day was wonderful. It was crowded but other than that it was amazing! Worth the pricey admission. We spent like half an hour watching whale sharks and manta rays swim by us in one spot.

After that I was like: I'm hungry and we're in Atlanta. There's gotta be a Waffle House nearby.

There was!

...and they were hella short-staffed.

It took forever to get the food and they even forgot something of mine and we had to wait more. Whatever, they need more staff, it's fine.

But now it's getting. Later than I wanted. Our luggage was still at the hotel, and from there we had to take a shuttle to the airport itself.

And then Lyft wasn't finding me any rides back. Daci had to do it, and it still was a longer wait than I was expecting. I was getting REALLY nervous about the time.

But that worked out fine! Daci and I got to our gate with an hour to spare. Whew.

Our plane was delayed for an hour because a kid in the back cut their finger.

We take off and I realize I should've grabbed food at the airport--I'm ravenously hungry.

An hour into the flight, we start getting turbulence. It's off and on for two hours. It's the worst I've ever experienced in my life. I went from praying to outright hyperventilating several times. Y'know how they tell you to keep your seatbelt on in case of turbulence? It was that kind. I nearly puked--even though the only thing in my guts was a little ginger ale and pretzels at that point.

I wasn't worried about crashing, but my brain was doing the I DON'T LIKE THIS RIDE, I'D LIKE TO GET OFF NOW PLEASE thing. I had no idea when it would end, y'know??

We wobbled on the descent but once our wheels hit the ground we were fine. I nearly kissed the fucking airport carpet, y'all.

BUT WAIT

There were. No Lyfts. None. Both of us kept having the app dump us like "oops ha ha no drivers around these parts sorry" over and over and over. It's FREEZING outside. I finally call Radio Cab and they're like "lol it's going to be at least half an hour, probably longer" and I'm just like "look if the guy is FOR SURE going to show up I'm fine waiting" and we go back into the airport.

Half an hour later I'm like, "Hey try Lyft again." Lyft is like "oh yeah there's someone within ten minutes." We cancel the radio cab and grab the Lyft. OVER TWO HOURS AFTER LANDING we get into that fucking car.

Anyway our roommate offered to start the rice cooker for us and now I'm slowly eating a big bowl of rice with instant miso soup and stuff mixed in.

ALSO, two amusing things that happened this evening in all of that:

1. When we got off the plane, I saw a fully grown adult person in a straw hat, Pokemon backpack, and heelies. And then I remembered that I, myself, was wearing a dress covered in a print of pastel cassette tapes, a cheeseburger backpack, and carrying a tote bag that says "ask me about my fanfiction." So. Which of us was the Portland Weirdo of this scenario??

2. The Lyft driver was a gray-haired dude probably about ten years older than me. He was listening to some female-fronted indie band loudly for the whole ride. It wasn't one I'd heard of.

#my life #portland

[everybodyscupoftea]

a request with sigma chi jj where the reader gets hurt or like faints, something not super serious i guess lol, and like doesn’t want to tell jj but then does and he like kinda freaks out but is more annoyed that they didn’t tell him/want help, thanks! i love all of your writing!

ope...based on a true story rip

(warnings: cursing, fainting/injury, vaguely proofread)

-

okay maybe it was your fault, but in your defense, you forgot that drinks in the stadium were so goddamn expensive. you normally tailgated with jj’s frat, but he had interfering plans that day, so you’d gone with your roommate to the people in her major’s tailgate. unfortunately, they only had beer and mini water bottles.

most of the tailgate you’d been sitting in a chair next to your roommate, drinking slowly and conversing with some of her friends you’d met before. it was fun, but even though you were drinking slowly, you’d drank significantly more beer than you realized until you stood up.

swaying in place a few times until one of the guys put a hand on your shoulder, you shook your head, trying to clear it. your roommate shoved a water into your hand with a knowing look and you grinned sheepishly, uncapping it to chug before walking into the stadium.

when you stepped out of the tent and into the hot afternoon sun, you regretted both the beers, lack of food, and dark shirt you’d put on that morning. but, you were determined to make things work, no matter what. it was finally football season! 

“maybe we should get some gatorade when we get into the stadium,” your roommate suggested, pulling you along behind her. you shrugged, pretty much down for anything, until the two of you got in with your student id’s and to the concession line where you could see the prices.

“$8?” you asked incredulously, continuing with, “no fucking way, i’ll take my chances.”

she rolled her eyes but followed you out of the line toward the entrance to the student section. her friends liked to sit near the top, and by the time you got to your seat, the sun was beating down on you with no respite.

pulling your hair up in attempt to get some relief, you felt your mouth get a little dry, and you began to regret not getting a drink. after a few more seconds, you swung around to face your roommate too quickly and black spots filled your vision. 

she gave you a curious look as you blinked slowly, gaining focus back. placing a hand on your shoulder she asked, “hey, you good?”

“i think we should get drinks,” you mumbled and her eyes widened.

“yeah, i’ll go grab some. you stay here.”

shaking your head stubbornly, you stood and followed her. before you could process what was happening, close to the bottom of the steps, your eyes were shutting and you dropped like a sack of potatoes.

it couldn’t have been but a few seconds that you were out before your eyes fluttered open. a few strangers were gathered around you, fanning you, and you could see your roommate running down the last few stairs to the medic tent.

you groaned as you realized how many people were staring and mumbled, “fuck, this is so embarrassing.”

the people around you laughed and helped you sit up. one of the girls said, “on the plus side, at least they won’t have to stretcher you out of here.”

they pulled you up slowly when you signaled you were ready and immediately you regretted it when your ankle throbbed.

one of the boys pulled you back when you wobbled forward, almost falling again. patting his arm that was wrapped around your stomach, you told him, “you’re my favorite man in the world right now.”

he laughed and shifted around to help you down the rest of the stairs. your roommate was on her way back with a medic when she saw you and your new friend limping toward them. the medic jogged over and wrapped your other arm over her shoulder, helping you limp the rest of the way to the tent.

the boy disappeared with a wave as she sat you down and asked, “so what happened?”

“dehydrated and hungry,” you told her before adding, “really big bruised ego now too.”

she laughed and did a few tests to make sure you weren’t concussed before sliding your shoe off to take a look at your ankle. after pushing on a few spots she stood up, “i don’t think it’s broken, just bruised. i’m going to wrap it up pretty tight and you’re good to go.”

your roommate butted in, “yeah, we’re going home, and i’m going to call jj.”

all of the blood drained from your face at the thought of your overprotective boyfriend hearing about this, “wait, no, don’t call jj.”

she looked at you like you’d grown a second head, “he’s going to find out.”

“no, not if we don’t tell him.”

“babe, your ankle is hurt, he’s going to notice you limping around.”

“i’ll avoid him for a few days.”

she rolled her eyes, “i know for a fact he’s coming to hang out tonight since he couldn’t be at the game today.”

you sighed, “okay, well, at least let me tell him.”

“fine.”

-

you chose to not tell him until he actually showed up with chick-fil-a. he took one look at you laying in bed, foot propped up, and dropped the food on the desk before rushing the rest of the way over.

“what the fuck?” he asked.

“i, uh, maybe passed out a little at the football game.”

his eyes widened, “passed out a little? why am i just hearing about this?”

you sighed, “because i knew you’d freak out, like you are now i might add, and you were busy. i didn’t want to bug you.”

jj rolled his eyes, “babe, you’re way more important than a group meeting for a stupid elective class.”

a stupid warm feeling rose in your chest and you avoided his eyes, “well, whatever.”

he laughed at your weak comeback and climbed in bed behind you, adjusting you so your back was leaned against his chest, his legs on either side of you. you sighed and settled it comfortable until he asked, “so what happened?”

“god, it’s probably on social media somewhere. don’t really want to rehash.”

jj pulled out his phone and eventually did find it on twitter. while he was concerned, it didn’t stop him from laughing at you, “fuckin’ lightweight,” he teased.

you slapped his arm lightly, “don’t bully me, i’m hurt.”

“we gotta get your tolerance up, babe, this is just sad.”

with an eye roll and a sigh, you  chose to ignore him as he kept up the lighthearted teasing, eventually falling asleep, food long forgotten. 

#frat!jj #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank #jj maybank request #sigma chi!jj

[lavendersuh]

Doyoung rebel spy!au

doyoung x reader // sci-fi au, fluff, reluctant mission partners to lovers

word count: 1.5k

au masterlist 

header by @itsapapisongo tysm!!

note: long time no see! here’s the next part of my little star wars nct au series! i’m trying to make these easy to read for people that don’t know star wars, but I’ve been in the fandom for so long i can forget that some of this terminology isn’t general knowledge lol. blasters = space guns and bacta = quick healing med patches

“Are you coming or not?”

You hear your mission partner call from outside the ship. You snarl as you grab a blaster and exit the ship as well. 

“This is a bad idea, Doyoung!” You yell after him as he walks toward the desert town. “We have no idea where we are! How do we know there won’t be any Imperials walking around?”

“Calm down, sweetheart, why would stormtroopers come to such a backwater planet?” Doyoung tells you, casually strolling into the marketplace. 

The stalls are bustling with a variety of species, all seemingly in a hurry to go about their business. You didn’t get a very friendly vibe from anyone, but all you needed was to get a part of repair your ship and be on your way.

While you really didn’t want to be here on this run down planet, it was a necessary stop. You were running out of fuel and some of the hyperdrive parts were completely fried from your last jump. You and Doyoung hadn’t expected to run into so much trouble while gathering information for the Rebel Alliance, but at this point, you suppose everything is trouble. Every mission with Doyoung seemed to end in a chase through the stars, and the two of you had only managed to escape because of one too many jumps into hyperspace. 

The market is fairly mundane, as people and creatures try to sell their food, ores and tech to anyone who crosses their path. As you search for a place selling ship parts, the hair on the back of your neck stands up. You can just tell that trouble is on it’s way.

You look ahead of you to find Doyoung has already engaged with a vendor. He seems to be using his charm to knock the price down, and you can’t help but feel a smile as his usually annoying charisma comes in handy for once.

You didn’t hate Doyoung, no. You both were fighting for the same things, both having been pilots in the Imperial Academy before running away. With your similar backgrounds, the leaders of your rebel cell decided you would work well together. This was both correct and incorrect.

Statistically, you worked best with Doyoung. The missions were quick, to the point, and you got home with important information and relatively few scratches. But you always fought with Doyoung. It was never anything major, but every time, he somehow managed to piss you off and get you riled up. You were just praying you would get off this planet before you blew your cover.

You finally catch up to Doyoung, hearing him talk in a language you don’t know. He seems to be doing okay though, so you look around a bit as he makes the trade. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you spot a speck of white in the midst of the dull browns and greys of the market. Your eyes widen as you see two stormtroopers emerge from a building. 

“Doyoung, we gotta go.” You grab his wrist, startling him in the middle of a sentence. He looks over to where your eyes are trained and you assume he offers the creature a farewell before you take off at a fast pace towards the ship. 

“Where the hell are we? Why are those bucket heads on every goddamn planet?” You snarl, making your way through the crowds of people. 

“Haven’t you noticed we are fighting an Empire that rules the whole galaxy? Of course there are stormtroopers everywhere!” Doyoung calls behind you.

You’re about to argue back to him, but almost trip over a canister in the middle of the road. You weave around a corner, coming closer and closer to the spaceport holding your ship. You thank every star above that the repair you bought parts for can be made while taking off. 

You look behind you to find the troopers hot on your tail, with Doyoung just a few steps behind you. Just as you catch his eye in your glance back, one of the troopers manages to hit his shoulder, causing your partner to cry out. He doesn’t stop running, though, instead catching up to you and making a covert turn so that the troopers are momentarily caught off guard.

The two of you make a few more turns, leading to a completely abandoned alleyway. You don’t have much time but you pause to inspect Doyoung’s injury.

“How bad is your shoulder? We have some bacta patches on the ship, we just have to hurry-”

“It’s not that bad,” Doyoung says, while he holds onto his injury, “But, I need to tell you something important.”

“Important?” you ask, “How important? Because we don’t have a lot of time.” 

You know Doyoung’s injury is worse than he is telling you, and you know he isn’t someone who shows his pain. But there is a fear in his eyes. His skin is paler than it normally is, and he wobbles where he stands.

“Please, listen, I just- I need to tell you somet-” Doyoung never finishes his sentence, as he passes out. You are barely close enough to catch him, but after some jostling, you manage to secure your arms around his torso.

Panic sets in as you hear blaster shots a few roads away. You begin to drag your partner along as fast as you can, seeing the space port entry just a few yards away. It’s certainly not the most graceful thing, but soon enough you are setting Doyoung’s unconscious form in the medbay corner of your ship as you pilot yourself out of the city. 

It doesn’t take long to exit the atmosphere, so you set up auto-pilot and fix the repair that caused this whole mess in the first place. It’s a quick fix, and you are soon traveling through hyperspace. 

Doyoung is still unconscious when you return to him. You find the bacta patches and turn him over gently, removing his shirt and vest to get a better look at the injury. It’s not the worst you’ve ever seen, so you know with the right treatments it will heal in a few days. You press the patches onto his shoulder blade, hearing a seer of pain escape his mouth.

“Are you awake, or do you still wanna pretend like you’re dying?” You ask him, as he tries to sit up.

He coughs for a moment, so you find some water for him as he further wakes up. You stand silently watching the muscles along his neck as he drinks, suddenly reminded of the fact that you tore his shirt in order to apply the bacta. 

You hadn’t thought about it at the time, but now that he’s awake, you start to feel flustered. Doyoung doesn’t seem to notice, though, as his eyes stare off into space somewhat intently.

He seems to notice you staring, as he shakes his head and gives you a small smile, “Thank you for getting me all the way back here.”

“It’s no problem,” you reply, “I apologize for any bruises that might appear due to dragging you.”

He lets out a chuckle, his eyes shining with appreciation. But something is still missing.

“Are you okay?” you ask, a bit hesitant. “Not just the shoulder injury, but in general? You were kinda manic before you passed out on me.”

Doyoung is quiet for a moment. You decide to sit next to him on the med table, equally silent.

“I haven’t gotten shot in a while,” he tells you. “I started panicking because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to tell you….”

“Tell me what?”

“I like you.” 

He says it so softly, you barely hear it. He says it so bluntly, you barely believe it. You turn to look him in the eyes, and you find Doyoung’s face to be at peace, staring with a quiet smile settled upon his lips.

“You like me?” you ask, making sure you heard correctly.

“Yeah, I do.”

You can’t help the way your face scrunches up, “Since when? How? We always fight…”

He runs his hand lightly down your forearm in an affectionate way. “Sure, we have our arguments, but we make a good team.” he tells you, “I like that you always seem to know what I’m thinking before I do.”

“Oh.”

You don’t really know what else to say. Your mission partner who you have reluctantly found yourself getting close to has turned your world upside down. 

Doyoung pulls you out of your thoughts again as he asks, “Can you tell what I’m thinking about right now?” 

Tilting your head, you hate to admit that you can tell. His gaze roams around your face, settling on your mouth. You slowly look to his own. 

His lips twitch up into a bright smile before he softly connects to yours. It’s light and chaste, but your head spins. Suddenly your partner in crime seems like he might be more after all.

#doyoung #doyoung x reader #doyoung x you #nct #nct fanfic #doyoung fluff #kim doyoung #sci fi au #doyoung au #nct scenarios #doyoung scenarios #my writing

[artemispanthar]

Tentative Title: Movie Date Originally written: 09/12/16 Word Count: 3,119 Intended plot: Pearl goes on a movie date with Mystery Girl.

Notes: Extremely self-indulgent Pearl/Mystery Girl ship fic written shortly after “Last One Out of Beach City” aired. I was actually super motivated to finish this one but the fall of 2016 was when I got really, really sick and almost died so it unfortunately fell to the wayside and I never got to pick it back up. This is a pretty good example of how I usually write, though, as I usually end up writing the beginning and end of a story first, write in the scenes I have a clear picture of, and then fill in the spaces inbetween. Since this is unfinished, it kinda just jumps between scenes midsentence, so I’ll indicate the scene changes with a — mark

I’m kinda tempted to finish this one too. It’s self-indulgent to the point of it being embarrassing but that made it really easy to write

Side note: You may or may not recall my big rambly post (here) about a fictional horror series called Helltel from a few years back. Well, it was developed entirely due to this fic and tbh it’s likely none of the information I made up was even going to come up in it, I just got carried away lol

It had been several weeks since the night of the rock show and Pearl had already experienced more of Earth and human interaction in that short time than in the last 6000 years she’d spent on the planet. Sure, it was mostly house parties and bonfires, but it was all so different and new and exciting. Part of her wanted to kick herself for not exploring this side of Earth life before, but another, more rational side told her she could never have experienced this way before now. She certainly wouldn’t have felt so comfortable shamelessly flirting with that mystery girl she’d met at the show, and that was really what made those social outings so enjoyable.

Pearl had seen the girl a total of three times after getting her number. The day after the show, after working up her nerve (and goaded on by Amethyst) she borrowed Steven’s phone and gave the girl a call. They finally exchanged names (hers was Sheena, which Pearl thought was lovely) and compliments. Pearl found her just as captivating on the phone as she was in person. After that initial call, Sheena began sending her texts, which Steven explained as short written messages people exchange on phones. They texted back and forth for a day (mostly idle chatter) before Greg stopped by and gave Pearl a new phone. He had said it was so she didn’t have to keep asking to borrow Steven’s and also “for privacy”, whatever that meant. Pearl had refused at first, but Greg insisted, “We can call it a late payment for when you fixed the van. Besides, what’s the point in having money if you can’t share it?”

 —

Pearl was shaken from her musings by someone tapping her in the back. She jolted slightly, startled, and turned to see a short woman with blonde hair. The woman took half a step back, pulling her arm away.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I just wanted to ask if this was the line for the Splatterday event.”

“Oh, uhm…” Pearl looked around. She wasn’t entirely sure what that meant. But there was only the one line, so it had to be, right? “Yes, I think so.”

“Ah, thanks!” The woman said, giving Pearl an appreciative nod and a warm smile. Pearl smiled back. As she went to turn away, the woman spoke again.

“Hey, aren’t you one of Steven’s… uhm, one of the Gems Steven lives with? You're… Pearl, right?”

Oh! That’s why this human looked so familiar, she was a friend of Steven’s! She was one of the donut children from that donut shop Steven liked. She was the nice one, who was always kind to Steven.

“Yes! And you’re from the donut shop, correct?”

“Right! Are you here with Steven? Because I don’t think they’re going to let him in… Or is this a Gem thing? Should we evacuate the theater?” The woman laughed awkwardly, half-joking, half-completely serious.

“Oh, nono, it’s completely safe, especially with me here. And Steven’s at home, I’m actually here with…” Pearl said turning to point out her companion. As if on cue, Sheena was already on her way over. She stopped beside Pearl and handed her a small piece of paper.

“Here’s your ticket. Looks like they’re showing Helltel four and five tonight.”

“Oh dear, would I have had to have seen the first three for it to make sense?”

“Naw, they’re not gonna make sense anyway.” Sheena laughed, putting her hands in her pockets and nodding toward the woman Pearl had been talking to. “Who’s your friend?”

“Oh! Sheena, this is… uhm…” Pearl paused as it suddenly occurred to her she didn’t actually know this woman’s name, and though her knowledge of human social etiquette wasn’t the greatest, she was pretty sure calling her “the Donut Child” would definitely be peculiar.

Mercifully, though, the woman interjected.  “Sadie.”

“Yes, right, Sadie! She lives next door to the temple.”

“Well, I don’t live there, I work there. But I’m there so often it does kinda feel like I live there.” The woman, Sadie, laughed. “It’s the Big Donut. I think I’ve seen you in there sometimes, actually.”

“Oh, yeah.” Sheena said, nodding. “Cool place. Decent coffee.”

“Thanks, it comes from a big bag in the backroom.” Sadie said, causing both Sheena and herself to laugh. Pearl didn’t really ‘get it’, but laughed as well.

 —

They followed the crowd into a long, narrow room with a large screen. It had an aisle running down the middle toward the screen with about fifteen rows of four seats on either side of the aisle. After looking around for a moment, Sheena led Pearl to a row of seats to the left of the aisle, five rows from the back. Sheena motioned for Pearl to sit first, and she shuffled into the narrow space between the rows to get to her seat. She then paused, perplexed. The seats were very peculiar, they had normal fabric covered backs but the seats of it were strange, narrow columns that didn’t look at all comfortable to sit on. Nothing Pearl couldn’t handle, of course, so she went about trying to perch on the awkward seat, which proved rather difficult as it wobbled terribly. Then she heard a snort to her right as Sheena stifled a laugh.

“You gotta push the seat down and then sit on it. Like this.” To demonstrate, Sheena pushed down on the odd column on the seat closest to the aisle, causing it to fold out into a typical-looking cloth-covered seat. She then sat down on it, settled in, and gestured for Pearl to try. Pearl looked at the seat in front of her and gingerly pushed down on the folded seat. It folded out into a seat just as Sheena’s had. Pearl released her hold on it and it snapped back into its original, folded position. Fascinated, she pushed it down and released it a couple more times. It creaked audibly but otherwise seemed to operate perfectly. Finally, she sat down on it, testing her weight on it.

“Oh, it folds up when not in use to make space and it folds out for use, with one’s weight keeping it down. That’s very clever!” Pearl marveled. It was a simple mechanism, but she was always impressed by what humans were capable of building. Primitive, compared to Gem technology, of course, but humans always seemed to figure out ways to make what they needed or clever ways to engineer something to make it more useful. That was probably her favorite thing about humans. In the beginning they had nothing and they figured out how to make everything they needed, taught themselves how. In this way they kind of reminded her of… well, herself.

“Yeah, I guess it is kinda clever.” Sheena said, amused. She leaned on the armrest between them. “Y’know, you’re really cute when you geek out about this stuff. Makes me think about stuff different than I used to.”

“Oh! Well, I’m happy to hear that

 —

The room got louder and louder as more people continued to pour into the theater, taking seats and idly chatting. A human couple squeeze by Pearl and Sheena, murmuring ‘excuse me’s, and took the seats just to Pearl’s left. Pearl’s nerves prickled and she removed her arm from the armrest between her and the stranger, shifting slightly to be closer toward Sheena. She bounced her leg and absently scratched at the worn fabric on the armrest to her right. Pearl didn’t mind the crowds, really, she had expected it and prepared herself for it. But the noise level rising, the heat from all the bodies, the bright fluorescent lights, and the feeling of being boxed in… it was just a bit much all at once. It brought up unpleasant feelings and memories. She shook her head to dispel them, she wasn’t going to dwell on the past and ruin the evening,

“Are people going to be able to hear the movie with all this noise?” Pearl muttered.

“They’ll be quieter once the lights are off. It buggin’ you?”

“Hmm? Oh, no, I’m fine, I’m fine.” Pearl said. After a few seconds, she felt Sheena’s hand rest on her own. She stopped scratching at the armrest and turned her wrist so she could hold Sheena’s hand. It was comforting. She bounced her leg at a slower pace.

“Y’know, we could leave if you’re not feeling it.”

“No, no, I’m alright. I want to do this. I’m just nervous.”

“Hmm. Do you want to switch seats? You could be on the aisle, just get up and go if you need to.”

“Oh,” Pearl looked around. Maybe it would help to have that option. “Could we? If it’s alright with you.”

“Psh, yea, I’m cool wherever.” Sheena said, letting go of Pearl’s hand and standing up. She stepped into the aisle to allow Pearl to move over to her seat, then squeezed by Pearl and sat down.

Pearl sighed. It was such a little change, but it really did make her feel much better. She didn’t feel boxed in anymore, having that free space to her side was doing wonders.

“Thank you, this is much better. Sorry for being a bother.”

“Eh, it’s nothing. Sometimes you just gotta feel like you can go whenever. That’s what I like about my bike, I used to have a car but it always made me feel like I was stuck.”

“Oh? I’ll have to try that out sometime. I used to get that feeling when I’d pilot spaceships but… well I don’t get much opportunity to do that these days.”

Sheena laughed. “Well, I doubt it’s gonna feel like flying a spaceship. But it is pretty cool anyway. I could take you for a ride on in sometime.”

“Oh! That would be lovely. I-” Pearl stopped talking and sat up straighter when the lights suddenly turned off. The large screen lit up and after flickering for a few seconds began running advertisements for the theater.

Sheena leaned over to Pearl and whispered “It’s about to start, so we can’t talk too loud.” Pearl nodded. She did know that much (she got the run down of movie theater etiquette from Steven) but appreciated that Sheena thought to tell her.

The screen turned black and slowly faded into an image of a dilapidated hotel on a hill, shrouded in fog. Rain battered the building in a way that was clearly not actually rain, probably some sort of sprinkler set up. It looked very fake, in Pearl’s opinion. The movie cut to the interior of the building

—

Pearl turned to walk away, then turned back. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “Sheena, wait.”

“Yea?” Sheena paused, her helmet partially on her head. She took it back off and hung it on the handle of her motorcycle.

Pearl took a few steps closer, wringing her hands for a moment before clasping them together, to stop herself from fidgeting too much. “I… uhm… I had a very lovely time tonight. Wonderful, in fact. I hope you did as well.”

“I did.” Sheena said, amused.

“Good! Good. And, well, after such a nice night I’ve heard it’s customary to… well, I mean, I’m not an expert on human dating practices by any means, of course, but I thought it would be nice if…”

“Yea?” Sheena closed the distance between them, causing Pearl to need to look up at her.

“What I’m trying to say is,” Pearl took a breath. She could do this. “I would very much like to kiss you, if… if that isn’t too forward. I completely understand if you would prefer not to, of course, I was just thinking…”

Sheena didn’t say anything, instead she brought one hand to rest on Pearl’s cheek, gently guiding Pearl to tilt her head up. She leaned down slightly and Pearl stretched up, their lips met and…

It was amazing. Sure, it wasn’t the bombastic fireworks like the first time she kissed Rose (which was the first time she kissed anyone, ever), after a hard won victory during the Gem War, but it still felt electric. Kissing a human was so much different from kissing a Gem, Pearl found. Gems can simulate the human body in many ways, simulate skin texture, teeth, saliva, all that. But it’s just a simulation, incredible but never quite the same. Humans… humans are cohesive yet imperfect. Always imperfect. There’s just no way to properly replicate the random imperfection of the human body accurately. Her lips were warm and soft, but not uniformly so. Some spots were softer, wetter, warmer. And it changed, very slightly, even over the short time they kissed. And that lip ring! Pearl wasn’t quite sure what that would feel like, in fact it had puzzled her because surely it would just be in the way? But strangely it wasn’t. It was noticeably there, yes, but it didn’t seem out of place. It was a cooler, harder texture comparatively, and interesting in a good way. Everything about this felt… right, imperfect and different yet completely right.

It felt like it lasted ages but it was only a few seconds before they pulled apart. Pearl stared up at Sheena, breathless. Figuratively speaking, of course, as she didn’t really need to breathe and yet felt out of breath all the same. “Wow…”

Sheena laughed, soft and low. “Yeah, wow… Y’know, I gotta tell ya, I’ve been waiting to kiss you for a while now. Not that I mind taking things slow, of course.”

“Oh goodness, I’m sorry! I wasn’t sure how long it’s customary for humans to wait.” Pearl blushed, embarrassed. Everything on Earth moved so fast! It was hard for her to gauge how time worked for humans. Gems, being ageless, didn’t really have need to rush. “I didn’t want to rush into anything or pressure you.”

“Naw, it’s alright, I get it. There’s not any customary way of doing these things, really. It’s just what feels right, I guess. Some people go fast, others go slow. It’s all good.” Sheena paused, thinking, then said “What’s customary where you’re from?”

“Oh, nothing. Gems don’t really… have these sorts of relationships. Not on Homeworld anyway. We weren’t meant to or allowed to. Romantic relationships were completely unheard of. Kissing as a concept doesn’t exist there, or didn’t, I suppose I’m not really up on how things are there now.”

“Damn, really? Wow. That’s… that’s really awful. I’m sorry.”

Pearl hummed in agreement. “It was. I was on Earth for several years before I learned what kissing was. And even more before I ever tried it myself.”

“Oh, you’re really behind, then.”

“Behind?”

“On kissing. You should’ve been kissed way more in your life. But I’ll be more than happy to help you catch up.” Sheena said, leaning in.

“Oh!” It was a line. Cheesy, maybe, but Pearl appreciated it. “Oh, I think I’d like that.” She leaned in as well and they kissed again.

They broke after a moment. Pearl sighed, happily. “You know, in the beginning, I thought the act seemed rather messy and unpleasant.”

“But you don’t anymore?”

“Oh, goodness no.”

“That’s good.” Sheena said, and they kissed again.

“Well,” Pearl started, when they broke for breath (for Sheena, anyway). “I suppose it still is but-” They kissed again. “-with the right people it somehow-” Again. “-feels right and it doesn’t bother me. But-” Again. “-if I think of it in the abstract I suppose-” Again. “-it is still somewhat unpleasant. So-” Again. “-it’s more about the company than the-”

“Pearl?” Sheena sighed, breathless (or perhaps just exasperated).

“Yes?”

“Not that I’m not interested, ‘cause I am, but I think this would go smoother if you stopped talking so much.”

“Oh, right, sorry!”

“S’alright, no need to be sorry. I just think you’d enjoy it more if you lost yourself in the feeling, y’know? Or just try it out, at least.” Sheena said. Pearl nodded. They kissed again.

“I’m just nervous.” Pearl said when they broke again. Sheena hummed sympathetically and they kissed again. “I have a tendency to ramble when I’m nervous.” Again. “I don’t even realize-”

“Pearl.” Oh, right, rambling again. They kissed again. And again.

“… Sorry.” Pearl squeaked out between kisses. She couldn’t help it, she had to! Sheena didn’t respond, but instead continued to kiss Pearl while laughing softly into her mouth. It was a kind laugh, not cruel or mocking, just… amused. It created a pleasant, humming sensation in Pearl’s mouth. It was infectious, too, and she couldn’t help but laugh along with her. After a moment they stopped and just continued kissing, with no further interruptions.

They continued like that for a while, and Pearl had to admit Sheena was right. It was rather nice to just… lose herself in the feeling. To just fall into that rhythm and that pleasant feeling of exploration and just being with someone. It was nice. They pulled apart again and neither felt compelled to continue, just allowing themselves to look at one another in silence, save for the sound of breathing.

“Alright.” Sheena sighed, reluctant. “I really should go now. Got work in the morning.”

“Ah yes, and you humans do need a certain amount of sleep to function properly! I’m sorry if I kept you from it.”

“Naw, it was worth it.” Sheena gave Pearl one last kiss before turning and walking back to her motorcycle. She straddled the seat and put her helmet on, adjusting the strap. “See you Saturday, probably.”

“Yes, with luck! And, uhm, catch you later!”

Sheena laughed. “Should I fall.” She started her motorcycle and drove off.

Pearl watched her drive away until she disappeared behind some buildings and the roar of her motorcycle’s engine could no longer be heard. Then she stood in silence for a moment, just breathing, just being. She was so… proud of herself. She was socializing with humans, she was experiencing Earth. Not for Rose and not even for Steven, but for herself. She went on a real official human date for the first time! She was nervous, but she did it. She felt happy at this moment, genuinely happy. Best of all, she felt little to no guilt about feeling happy. Out of everything, Pearl was probably most proud about that.

With a contented sigh, Pearl finally turned and walked to Greg’s car. The parking lot of the movie theater was mostly empty now and dead silent. She hummed softly, getting into the car and starting the engine. She flicked on the Earth radio, fiddling with the dial until she found a tune that sounded half-way pleasant, and set a course back to the temple.

#steven universe #artie writes #fanfiction #abandoned wip #though I may finish this #mystery pearl #shippy stuff #long post #why did the read more break on this. the longest one?

[cutegirlmayra]

Kingdom Hearts Prompt

Gotta get my fingers back into the swing of things for my Birthday Week Prompt Spectacular!

Prompts are still open! We have 137 currently, and if you’ve already submitted 3, please hold off sending in anymore! Thank you so much! :Db

This is so exciting!!!

This is a bit of an AU, I’m torn between them being kids or more their ages from Kingdom Hearts 2, so take the time placing... loosely, lol.

Prompt:

It hadn’t been long since their adventures, and finally resting back on their island wasn’t exactly helping their now anxious desires to continue exploring and learning about the world beyond their own.

Sora and Riku still would hone their keyblade skills, but Riku was more hesitant to take any real fighting seriously, and opted out to call it quits before it had really become even an workout for Sora.

“Ah, man. Again, Riku?” Sora put his hands behind his head, having the keyblade disappear into sparkles of light. “Come on, you’re still worried about darkness?”

Riku looked down and away, then smiled almost half-heartedly to Sora, as though not wanting to worry or trouble him anymore about it. “I’ll be fine. Good work today.” He waved him off and began to return—to what Sora assumed—was his home.

He sighed, wanting a bit more of a sporting chance than that before looking over to Kairi by the shoreline. “Huh?” he lowered his hands from behind his now tilted head. “What’s she doing way over there?” he asked himself innocently and began to walk over to her.

As though feeling the need to not break the moment though, Sora stopped just a few feet away from her. “Ohh...” he felt a sorrowful feeling, seeing her just stand at the water’s edge and look over the horizon.

He was used to this scene, but it had been a while since he’d last seen it.

“So many worlds...”

She turned after hearing his voice, and watched him approach her side, also gazing off into the horizon that was just beginning to set.

“And you weren’t able to see any of them.” He lowered his head, “That doesn’t seem fair to me... You were the one who deserved to see them the most!” he gestured an empathetic and energetic hand out as he spoke, and it made Kairi just crinkle her nose a bit and laugh.

He always had something cute to say, and something sweet to compliment it with.

“Emm, I don’t mind.” Kairi shook her head gently, and placed her hands behind her back. “I felt it.”

“Huh?” Sora turned back to her. “Felt what, Kairi?”

“...Your heart. The adventures it went on... I felt everything.” She closed her eyes, “It makes me wonder... if maybe there’s still something on these islands left to explore.” She grinned widely to him, “I found this really cool underwater cave! But it has a keyhole... so I’m kinda not sure whether to ask you or Riku to open it or not...”

“Wha! A keyhole?!” Sora’s spirits skyrocketed, forming a fist and stomping a confident foot forward, “Why didn’t you say so?! Let’s get Riku and check it out!”

Kairi nodded sweetly, “But maybe after you guys rest. I wouldn’t want to call you to adventure only to have both your eyes drooping in exhaustion!” Kairi waved her hands a moment in front of her, calming his excitement before placing them boldly on her hips and leaning towards him. “You and Riku have been through a lot, remember?” she tilted her head, but he just smiled, a bit disappointed they couldn’t go now.

“Aww... Come on, Kairi...” he slightly whined, but in a comical way.

“No buts! Except to get yours to bed, that is.” She leaned back up, having some spunk from her previous reflective mood and began to walk back to the path towards town. “I’ll talk to Riku, you just meet me here bright and early tomorrow, got it?”

“Got it!” he cheered.

“And make sure not to doze off, you lazy bum!” she teased and waved him off, heading up the path as Sora looked defeated by her statement.

“Ohhh... I know! I’ll sleep out here!” He flopped onto the sand, but the wind blew and it was quite chilly... “Brrr, okay! I’ll just set my alarm then!” he rubbed his arms and took off towards his home.

As expected,...

“Oh nooo!!!” Sora had blinked his eyes open, looked around, and realized he had used his keyblade in his sleep to thwack the alarm clock clear off his nightstand. “Why does this always happen to me!” he quickly got up and raced to get ready.

Dashing off to the shoreline, he saw Riku and Kairi already there, staring at the rising sun.

As they turned around, Riku placed a hand on his hip. “You’re late.” he remarked.

“What’d you expect? Typical Sora.” Kairi giggled, rocking on her heels as he made his way to them.

Sora scampered in his stride and clutched his knees to remain upright, trying to get some wind back in his lungs. “Hey... both of you give me a break.”

They chuckled at him a moment before Riku looked to Kairi, “A secret door, huh?”

“There’s apparently more than the door in the cave, yeah.” She nodded to his question and looked to Sora, extending her hand to him. “You sure you’re up for another adventure, Sora?”

It was so soon after their last... but without much hesitation, Sora reeled his hand back and clasped her own, a good smacking sound was heard as he rose up from his bent position. “Emm.” He nodded, determined. “I want to share one with you... and Riku!” he nodded excitedly over to him as well, but he just folded his arms, nodding with a smile.

“It would be nice... kinda reminds me of the old days.” Riku moved towards the water, getting deeper into the sea. “Come on, you slowpokes!” He didn’t bother to look behind him, but Kairi rushed to join him in the water.

“Sora!” she called, encouraging him to follow after her.

“Ohh...” The memory of the waves rising over Riku made him pause to watch a second... so much had changed, but at the same time, nothing really ever did...

He shook his head, “That’s not true.” He told himself, “I’ve changed.” and rushed through the water to get to them.

The two waited for him again to catch up, before they all checked with one another that they were ready, and Kairi dived in first.

The water was crystal clear, and it didn’t really sting the eyes either. Sora and Riku dived in after her, waiting to see which direction she swam too.

Pointing, she gestured to a far distance beyond where they usually hung out on the lone, small island—where their favorite arching tree was. They nodded that they understood, looking back to her before beginning to swim ahead.

Sora couldn’t help but think of Ariel’s world, and easily moved passed Riku and Kairi, wiggling his body as though he had his dolphin tail again.

Surprised, but in a pleasant way, Kairi mimicked him but Riku seemed less than willing to follow suit, so he began to power-through the water and easily catch up to the two dorks.

Sora gestured for Kairi to move her arms like his, just by his sides, but Kairi seemed to not understand before Riku hit the surface of the water, treading it quickly and sparking an old rivalry in Sora.

Motivated to win, Sora also made his way to the surface and started pushing himself faster towards the cave.

Kairi then gasped upon breaching the surface and pouted, “Not again... Go for it, Sora! Riku! First one there gets to open the door!” she called out, laughing as she swam leisurely behind the two dueling boys.

It truly was like old times... except Riku was surprised to see Sora get beside him so quickly. He had improved in his strength and endurance so much... and Riku felt that darkness had limited himself from having that same fortitude and understanding that Sora had gained.

He slowed down... letting Sora pass him.

But to his amazement, Sora also stopped and grabbed his hand, pulling him forward again, “Ah!”

“Come on, Riku! We’re almost there!” Sora cried out, his sights still dead set on reaching the cliff’s base.

Riku was touched that he wasn’t so focused on winning, as he was more so wanting to do something together...

“We did it!” Sora threw his hand forward with Riku’s to touch the edge, and for a moment, Riku also threw in all his might.

They touched the rocky cliff together... panting and having open smiles as the water licked at their chins and splashed against the land wall.

They turned around to see Kairi enjoying the long trek to them, giggling at their antics. “You both never change.” She took a deep breath and went below the water again.

Sora grinned to Riku, closing his eyes before gulping some air in and charging down too.

Riku just shook his head, “Maybe... more has changed than we think.” and he went down as well.

The two were shocked to see Kairi kicking her legs into a gap below the surface, and their first instinct was to help her out, but she wedged herself in and soon disappeared into the gap.

Not sure if that was safe for her to be doing alone, the two looked at each other, realizing they really didn’t know where Kairi went off to while alone by herself.

They took turns, but Sora felt like Winnie the Pooh and worried he’d get stuck more easily, but sucked in his gut and was able to push through.

Riku twisted his body gracefully through the gap, and didn’t seem to have that much of a problem getting in.

Sora gestured to his air bubbles, as though asking Kairi where a pocket of air was down this far...

She shook her head.

No air.

Both Riku and Sora looked concerned.

Without addressing their worry for her safety, she spun back to follow the path forward through the rocks, and revealed a sunken door with musical notes upon it.

Sora summoned his keyblade, and looked to Riku in hopes that he would join him.

He shrugged, they did technically win the race together, and summoned his own.

They swished their keyblades expertly through the water and then pointed it with fashionable poise towards the keyhole.

Their lines hit the target, creating an aura of white that pulsated before the door faded into light and glowing balls began to engulf the area from it.

Riku shielded his eyes but Sora just stared deep into it... and then... they were in a strange ballroom.

Coughing, the three wobbly got back up to their feet.

“W-where are we..?” Sora looked around, seeing an almost Beast’s Castle looking place, but with white and gold lining covering the massively baroque designs and a empty orchestra filled with musical instruments.

“...This world... doesn’t have heartless, does it?” Kairi looked around, holding her arm a moment before noticing she didn’t feel wet from just getting out of the sea. “My clothes..! They’re...” she looked herself over.

“Huh?” Sora tapped his spiky hair too, “Hey! We’re dry!” he patted his chest and then looked around for a window... but all the windows were blazing a heavenly light.

Riku felt strangely uncomfortable, choosing to remain seated a moment longer before slowly rising up with his friends. “No... I don’t sense any here.”

“That’s not a bad thing, right?” Sora smiled, but his voice had a ring to it, and suddenly...

Musical notes carved into the walls suddenly lit up with the exact pitch and note that Sora’s natural speaking voice had produced.

“Woah!” Everyone moved to face their backs to each other, forming a circle as Riku and Sora summoned back their keyblades.

“Was that... Music?” Sora looked around, seeing the notes shimmer in yellow light before fading...

A drum beat spooked the three as they turned to the empty orchestra.

“There’s no keyhole on the door.” Riku gestured to the only doubled-door this ballroom had, but once again, he was right.

“We’re trapped? That doesn’t make any sense.” Kairi made a face, and with no fear, walked towards the walls.

“Ah-!” Riku held a hand out to her as Sora cried out--”Kairi! W-wait!”

She touched the notes on the wall, “It looks like... sheet music.” she placed her hand on one of the notes, and then pointed to her throat. “Ahhh~” she tried to mimic the note.

 The sound carried and a musical note responded, under her hand, the note lit up to her.

“Destiny Island sure has a lot of surprises.” Riku lowered his keyblade. “But a musical room?”

“That’s awesome!” Sora released his keyblade, letting it sparkle away as he held his bundled hands cheerfully up by his face. “Let me try!” he raced over to Kairi, touching a note. “How do I make this sound?”

“Laa~” Kairi sang, and it glowed.

“LaaAAAAaa~” Sora tried, but the note seemed to dim a little on his try. “Huh?”

“Hehe, everyone’s a critic. I thought that was a good try, Sora.” Kairi giggled into her hand.

“Ohh... A try? Hmph.” He placed his hands on his hips, frowning to the wall. “I’ve sang before...”

Riku decided to look at the instruments... lightly going to touch a violin when it suddenly jumped to life and twirled around, getting caught by its stick that began to play it.

As it played, the notes and melody lit up parts of the wall.

“Ah... it’s a song!” Sora seemed enchanted by the place, and looked to Kairi, “Come on!” he pulled her towards the dance floor’s center.

“S-Sora!” Kairi smiled, not sure what he was getting at here.

“Maestro!” He flicked his wrist to the empty orchestra, and three flutes flew into the air and began to play. “Percussion!” he mimicked Sebastian’s voice, “Strings, winds!”

“Sora... how are you doing this?” Riku looked around at the many different instruments, only the classical music began to play.

“I think we have to play along!” Sora took Kairi’s hands and began to hop and circle around with her. It was a long shot to anything that looked even remotely like dancing...

She laughed though, before noticing that foot steps were lighting up in blue and pink beneath his feet. “Sora, wait!” she placed her hands on his chest, “Look! I think they’re instructions...”

“Uh... judging me again?” Sora teased, and Kairi turned to Riku.

“Do you play?” she asked, curiously.

“Not really...” He looked around him at the magical instruments.

“Can you read music?” She batted her eyes, “Pllleeeassse?”

“Ugh.” he picked up the conductor’s stick, “Alright... but this is silly.”

She moved her foot against one of the glowing pink footsteps, and it shined and sprayed sparkling dust into the air, as if that was correct.

“Ready?” She looked enthusiastically to Sora.

“H-huh?” Sora felt red on his cheeks as she took his hand properly this time, and then moved his other to her waist. “This is how you waltz, you goofball.”

It took him some time to adjust, but as Riku flicked the conductor’s stick, the musical instruments played the corresponding melody, and the wall lit up with the pacing.

When the footprints disappeared from pink, Kairi gasped and grabbed his shoulders, pushing up as Sora held her a second, not sure what to do.

“W-wait! Kairi! I thought we were supposed to keep turning!” he nervously was finding his footing, and while bringing her back down on the pink footsteps when they reappeared, noticed her eyes were happily watching him the entire time he was looking down at his footwork,.. “Ah...” He closed his mouth from his amazement and mentally told himself not to duck his head anymore.

Kairi wondered what made him look at her suddenly, but she was more than happy to see his footwork improve, or at least... his confident rise just a little.

“You’re doing great, Sora!” she cheered, and his face lit up with the encouragement.

He pulled her away from him and she twirled, and it was that moment that something clicked for Sora.

Riku found some peace in leading the magical instruments, but turning around to see his friends dancing, he felt something more arise...

While Sora was just beginning to get really good at it, he grabbed Kairi’s hand.

“Mind if I cut in?”

“H-hey! No fair!” Sora stomped a foot down a moment, “Who’s doing the-?” He moved a hand over to the orchestra before looking himself and seeing the conductor’s stick was moving on it’s own now. “Hmph...” He pouted, tapping his foot.

Seeing Riku and Kairi dance together... that competitive feeling from before suddenly sparked.

“Ah, I should let him have a turn.” He put his hands behind his head again, watching as Riku seemed much more precise in his steps, and barely looked down as he danced with Kairi.

Sora’s eyes couldn’t help it, they scanned every movement, and soon... his nature got the better of him.

He took off towards the music and held up his hands, the music stopped and he pointed to the drums. “Time to change the beat!”

Rushing over to Kairi after the footsteps on the floor changed and the music on the wall seemed to instantly rewrite itself in a blaze of white, Sora slipped in and pulled Kairi to him, dancing a new type of tune.

“Heh, is that how you want to play this?” Riku smirked, knowing more than Sora seemed to understand about his feelings. “I’m game...” He moved over to the wall, seeing the new notes, and moved to the instruments.

“If you want to dance so much,... try this!” the melody quickened to a higher difficulty for the novice Sora, who tried desperately to keep up but bonked heads with Kairi on accident.

“Ow!”

“S-sorry!”

“My turn~” Riku slid in as the music changed, and he took Kairi again.

“Ohhh... If that’s how you’re gonna play, then fine! Game on!” Sora ran back to the music.

After this happened for a few more turns, Kairi began to get light-headed and frustrated by their constant dueling.

“Enough!” she took her hands out of both of theirs, and then pushed them to each other, “You two want to dance, then dance with yourselves! Hahaha!” she laughed as the two fell into position as they stumbled backwards, but quickly jumped away from the other.

“Not so fun when its the girl’s part you have to learn, now is it?” She put her hands on her hips, then pointed to the music. “Now, let’s go home.”

The music switched out and so did the sheet music, and the door’s keyhole suddenly showed a queen and king’s silhouettes, dancing the original waltz.

“If you two weren’t so focused on one-up’ing the other, you’d have noticed that every time we got something right, the keyhole would begin to shine.” Taking control, Kairi moved back to the pink footsteps, stepping on them one at a time as the lights shone up around her. “If we focus on getting the pattern right, I think we can leave. Riku, you watch the door, open it when it fully shines the keyhole.” She nodded with new found confidence and authority over the playful, but quarreling, boys. “Since Riku can read music, he’ll know when the converging notes begin to center towards the door.”

Riku then remembered that as the notes matched the music, and their footwork matched the floor, that the notes on the wall did almost converge at the door, but he or Sora would interrupt before they ever could reach it.

“She has a point, we’re acting childish.” Riku looked to Sora, “You take care of the steps, I’ll man the door this time.” He seemed to be referring to the two sides of the door they were on last time, and Sora stared at him with the same image in his mind.

“Oh...”

“Sora?”

His attention was immediately turned to Kairi, as she placed her hand out towards him. “Shall we?”

“Y-yeah.” He took it gently.

This time, they weren’t interrupted. As the lights from beneath them sprayed up like fairy dust, it circled the two, creating a dress for Kairi and a handsome suit for Sora.

When the music rose to its height, Riku was distracted, watching the two.

But as the light swirled to reveal the keyhole, he looked back and shot it open.

The door burst into light, “Come on! We’ve gotta go!”

Sora and Kairi were too lost in the moment, however, and when the song finished, the transformation did as well.

Their breaths were light, their eyes shining in the light of the room, which only Riku noticed was starting to evaporate into the glowing balls that brought them here.

“Grr... Sora! Kairi!” he ran towards them, and as they shook off the feeling, the warmth of that moment faded with the new outfits.

They were tackled into by Riku, and the world once again burned white.

The three awoke softly on the shore of the ocean... and shaking their heads, suddenly burst into laughter and stayed on the shoreline for a while longer.

There was more magic in this world than they had supposed... and Riku and Sora both paused a moment to look to Kairi...

Smiling bigger and happier than they had seen her in a long... long time.

#kingdom hearts #sora kairi riku #destiny island #sokai #kingdom hearts au #kingdom hearts prompt #cutegirlmayra #sokai prompt #soraxkairixriku

[purplesurveys]

959

Do you have one of those calendars that have a word of the day? No but I have a plug-in dashboard on Chrome that used to give me motivational quotes every day. I’m not into that though so I’ve turned off the quote feature.

Do you sleep with your bra on? I used to, back when I was still in school and I’d often arrive home too tired to even change clothes. I usually immediately headed to bed.

Do you know how tall you are barefoot? 5′1″.

Is one of your friends bugging you right now? None of them are but work is super hectic at the moment. I really shouldn’t be even taking this survey rn HAHAHAHAHA brb

Would you rather do 10 push-ups or sit-ups? Sit-ups. My arms wobble real bad when I do push-ups and more often than not I end up crashing to the floor, ha.

Do you like Snoop Dogg? He’s alright. He hasn’t done anything to piss me off, I think.

What time did you wake up today? I started waking up at around 7:30 but I wasn’t properly up until around 7:50ish since that’s the time I usually get up from bed to prepare for work.

Where do you think you'll be in 10 years? I don’t really think of where I’ll be, I simply hope. And in 10 years I hope I’m happy and for things to have fallen more into place than they are now.

When this survey was created, was it your birthday or anyone's you know? I have no idea when this was made, I just got it from someone else.

Will you be seeing the movie Kung Fu Panda 2? I’ve never seen anything from that franchise.

Do you rate every survey after you take one? I don’t really get to do that on Tumblr, so. 

Where do you buy your groceries? My parents do the groceries either at SM or a local store that we have. It’s usually between those two.

Is there a song that always makes you sad? Yes. I can’t listen to O by Coldplay without feeling sad because that’s all I listened to during my great big depression slump of 2016.

Have you ever been searched by the cops? Nopes.

Do you call anyone by their last name? Kinda. Denise’s nickname is Mils, but Mils is a shortcut for her surname.

How's life for you? Not being very kind, but I can’t do anything at the moment.

Have you ever taken a survey with 1,000 questions? I probably did when I was new to surveys and was way more enthusiastic about the longer ones. These days I’d rather stay within the 50–70 range lol.

Are you holding onto someone you shouldn't? Yeah but I’m working on it.

Do you own any silly bandz? As a kid I did. Not anymore.

What's your favorite type of Doritos? I just like the most basic one. I think it’s called Nacho Cheese.

Have you ever had fruit pizza? No thanks.

Have you seen any of the Step Up movies? I don’t think so. They never looked appealing to me.

Do you have Twitter? I do but I’m deactivated for now. Too boring the last few weeks and I’m in the mood for a social media detox anyway, so it’s out the door for now.

Do you think slang words were created because people are lazy? That’s a good possible reason. It’s also a way to get creative.

What color was the last pen you wrote in? Black. Always my preferred ink. I always feel off when I have a pen with blue ink; it always has to be black for me.

Do you like chocolate or vanilla pudding better? I’ve never had pudding but I would prefer to try chocolate if I had to have one for the first time. 

Do you have any warts? Nope.

What color do you like better: Brown or Gray? I’d go with brown. Gray seems a little bleak and sad to me. 

Would you rather marry Taylor Lautner or get a million dollars? Shittiest deal ever lol, give me the damn money. I love Twilight but I wouldn’t go that far lol

Ever had frozen yogurt? No. I don’t like yogurt, got traumatized by it from a young age so it’s a straight no for me.

What brand of jeans do you usually wear? I don’t really look at brands when it comes to jeans. If they fit me well and I think they’re cute, I get them.

Do you drink Dr. Pepper? I’ve never had it, but seeing as it’s soda I doubt I would enjoy it.

Do you like bears? Sure! I’ve only heard of bears being super gentle around humans, and I think that’s adorable.

What laughing thing do you use? (Lmao, lol, haha..) I use HAHA with close friends. The more HA’s, the more likely I actually laughed out loud in real life. Haha is to just sound chill whether with acquaintances or friends and to show I’m not pissed. LOL/lol and lmao are fillers.

Are you polite? Always, unless I have a valid excuse not to be.

Have your parents ever crashed a date? No. They wouldn’t be the type to, either. They like to stay out of my business, which I appreciate.

Do you have curtains in your bedroom? I have pull-down shades, not curtains.

Do you watch the show The Hard Times of RJ Berger? I’ve never heard of it. But may I recommend the song Hard Times by Paramore.... ;) Hahaha. Gotta plug my faves any time I can.

Have you seen the movie Easy A? I’ve never seen the whole thing but 2010 Tumblr used to be populated with so many gifsets and photosets that I might as well have seen the movie. That’s the movie that got me to hear about Emma Stone for the first time.

What color are your best friends eyes? Dark brown.

What does your pillow case look like? They’re the same design as my bedsheet, which has a multi-colored geometric print.

LOL is getting old, agree? I’m still using it and so are a bunch of people, so I think you’re wrong there.

Megan Fox or Mila Kunis Mila Kunis a thousand times over! < Big this.

If you could, would you erase all of your mistakes and regrets? Some.

#survey #surveys

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: [obviously it's actually ages later so she clearly isn't coming back but it's also enough time that we can pretend we're fine and joke about it and that she might not reply until even later cos christmas so we feel safe to just be like nbd lol] Jimmy: *g2g Jimmy: or piss off would've worked an' all Jimmy: far as a christmas classic goes Janis: yeah, they was up Janis: you know how it goes from there Janis: didn't reckon comparing notes was gonna be any more thrilling than living it, yeah? Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [a picture of Bobby timestamped to show how early he actually was up like yep] Janis: Ouch Janis: how buzzing was he then Janis: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣 scale Jimmy: off it Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Where was his best mate on the scale? Janis: pretty solid and manic 😆 Janis: bit of a wobble when she had to eat her lunch and stop playing with all the shit she got Janis: but what's 😂 without some 😭 Jimmy: #same obvs Jimmy: might just be Ian's cooking making me 😭 though Janis: I'll let her know Janis: feel well reassured and #seen Janis: Sharon didn't show? Jimmy: I know, mate we're all 💔 by her empty chair Jimmy: my mum neither, funnily enough Jimmy: pisstaking lack of miracles about Janis: We did see Jesus and Santa out on it so Janis: lads aren't on top form Jimmy: if he hadn't drank the 🥛 she might've appeared, needing a bit for her ☕ Jimmy: SUCH a selfish dickhead Janis: spin the trope on it's head Janis: clever Janis: could've been picking up more 🚬 too Jimmy: she left them behind, as NYE resolutions go 🚭 is a bit cliche but Jimmy: you crack on, Debbie Janis: far as parting gifts go Janis: so so at best Jimmy: Dunno I were chuffed with it Janis: of course, birth of 😎 boy Jimmy: weren't like I could follow in her footsteps out the door Jimmy: piss poor #originstory that Jimmy: have to fake it Janis: #relatable Jimmy: Duh Jimmy: when ain't we on the same page? Janis: have to 🤞 they'd never put this shit to paper Janis: poorly written fanfic and a netflix original that tanks, fine Jimmy: what could be more #goals? Jimmy: ✔✔ Janis: nothing, obviously Jimmy: 🖋🩸 it is then Janis: can sell my soul no problem Janis: good luck cashing that one in boys Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: any organs going Jimmy: won't be doing receipts, goes without saying Janis: careful how you word that one Janis: get a bit #metoo Jimmy: open to a bit of castration, since you asked Janis: Christmas does remind you of why not to have kids, right Jimmy: if nowt else Jimmy: can't all be Libis 💔 Janis: if you wanna chat to her form an orderly queue behind your brother, like Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: 2nd choice AGAIN Janis: who else put you 🥈? Jimmy: who HASN'T, babes 😭😭😭 Janis: oh, always the bridesmaid Janis: very you Jimmy: bit weird in this context, don't reckon we can marry off kids or spread about that I wanna wife up Libi so I were avoiding it but Janis: if the baby pink/lilac dress fits darling Jimmy: baby pink like my 😳 OBVS Jimmy: can't have a clash Janis: bad enough you're the oldest and fattest, christ Jimmy: way to drag me by my unflattering weave, hun Janis: Hate for you to make a show of yourself Janis: say these things for your own good 😘 Jimmy: tah Jimmy: I get waiting til your nan is more pissed but don't forget to secure my child bride for tomorrow 😘 Janis: They said yes already Janis: leaving out your intentions, obviously Janis: not that keen to get rid of her Jimmy: we're all chuffed she ain't gotta go in the boot Janis: radio and sweets should suffice in shutting her up Janis: for a bit, anyway Janis: no miracles occurring here either Jimmy: again #same Jimmy: so much in common, me and her Janis: sorry but no one is gonna ship this one Jimmy: PROPERLY starcrossed, what a dream Jimmy: off you fuck, tah Janis: rude Janis: and you won't be able to kidnap her without my help so at least keep me on side 'til then, moron Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: know where she lives and how to shut her up so Janis: yeah, but you don't know how to call off her KILLER dog Janis: checkmate, asswipe Jimmy: I'll have a google, be alright Janis: get your face ripped off, please Janis: get rid of the need for any of this Jimmy: SO romantic, you Jimmy: I'll miss you Jimmy: but bit rude if you ain't allowed to get married without a face Jimmy: bet the tories sorted that Janis: like fuck Janis: your outside'll just reflect the monster within Janis: easier to 🔎 even for the idiots about this way Janis: she'll get saved in no time and you'll get to be behind bars like you wanna ⛓💘 Jimmy: LITERALLY can't deal with these compliments rn tbh Jimmy: or that happy ending Janis: 💦 comes but once a year Jimmy: get your 🧠💭💕 off 🎅 it's OVER, Jodie Jimmy: he's already forgotten you Janis: he's literally all I've got Janis: fuck you Jimmy: delete your 📞 history and move on Jimmy: you've got the 🎁🎁 lads are good for nowt else Janis: I believe, thanks Janis: unlike you you bitter cow Jimmy: UGH, get a grip, babes Janis: 🤢 this is far too much like talking to actual Gracie Jimmy: won't insist on a 🏆 Jimmy: nowt challenging about doing a decent impression of any of 'em Janis: bit rude you've faked being impressed before now then Jimmy: for me, I'm a well better actor than you, girl Janis: if you reckon that then my job here is done Janis: all the 🏆🏆 for me Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: yeah, that kinda day Jimmy: you gonna turn this one around for me an' all? Janis: is that what you want? Jimmy: isn't that what you want? Janis: if you're saying I reckon I always can, like a saviour complex, then nah Janis: but if you're just asking if I still want to see you, then, yeah Jimmy: if either of us would have a complex like that, it's gotta be me as a white lad, come on Janis: alright Janis: I'll come Jimmy: alright Janis: I know today is shit Janis: we don't need to pretend otherwise Jimmy: didn't reckon we were Janis: yeah Jimmy: ? Janis: It is a stupid question Janis: but aside from the obvious, are you alright? Jimmy: are you? Janis: Yeah, pretty much Janis: so what's wrong? Jimmy: how much of the obvious are we putting aside? Janis: that the kids would be a bit gutted about your mum and the food and craic from your dad would be a bit shit Janis: in a nutshell Janis: so go on Jimmy: I'll live Janis: you don't wanna tell me, do you Jimmy: nowt to tell, it's shit, you already said it Janis: okay Jimmy: if you can believe in 🎅 you can take my word for it Janis: I am Janis: okay means 👌 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: we don't need to have an entire 👌👍 back and forth Janis: I'll 💬 when I'm close and you can keep being alright Jimmy: you started it, mate Jimmy: don't be a spoilsport Janis: go on then Janis: have your fun, it ain't mine Jimmy: 🗨  to me dickhead Janis: talk back to me Jimmy: I am Janis: not properly Janis: it's gone funny again Jimmy: what do you want me to say? Janis: I don't know Janis: just what you want Jimmy: I never said I were any good with words Janis: I'll survive Janis: let's just be Janis: like normal, business as usual Jimmy: I thought you were gonna write business casual, like there's an Ian approved dress code Jimmy: 🤏 gutted Janis: I have forgone the glitter and fur Janis: though I doubt he'd be as buzzing as shit nan, couldn't risk that faux pas again Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: he'd be chuffed to bits if you were wearing that, no funny business Janis: for the throwback of it all or Jimmy: you're right, loads of people have 👀 the 📷 Jimmy: you CAN'T Janis: if he slid into the gals DMs with the goss you could 🚨 Jimmy: ootd not outfit of the DAYS Jimmy: 👮🚔 Janis: oi, arrest him, not me Janis: you never said you were strictly fashion 👮 Jimmy: fine, if you don't wanna drive off into the sunset with me Jimmy: offering you a getaway car here Janis: the cars with me Jimmy: if Libi's not in the boot I ain't interested, soz Jimmy: you were told Janis: 🙄 Janis: you'll have to wait and see Janis: and be disappointed Jimmy: if you're wearing that pisstake of an outfit again, yeah Janis: I told you I ain't Janis: never again Janis: 🔥 Jimmy: did you? Janis: yeah Janis: [pictures of a jolly xmas fire with that melting all over the shop lmao] Jimmy: bit rude of you not to invite us Janis: I would if I could Janis: there's plenty more to burn Jimmy: 🎄 jumpers for a start Janis: exactly Janis: see if 💀#2 wants to put her diary on Jimmy: we could do it here 🤞 the whole house'd go up Jimmy: have to move then Janis: that would be win win Janis: death or a fresh start Jimmy: not enough drama for Bill but never is Jimmy: can't win with his 👻 Janis: he'd have you picking who to save Janis: always so EXTRA Janis: take a day off, Billy Jimmy: dead easy answer Janis: Sister can save herself, fuck the dog, so the kid? Jimmy: it's obvs you so the 🎭 can go ON and ON and ON 💔🎻😭 and owt else Janis: ugh Janis: my hero Jimmy: Bill makes the rules, babe Jimmy: @ him 👏👏🌹 Janis: lemme think of a sonnet first Janis: got to win him back 'round Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: don't offer to help then Janis: lazy Jimmy: why would I want you in his good books? Janis: what's good for me is good for you Jimmy: you can only have the one 👻 boyfriend at a time Jimmy: it ain't nowt but 👎 for me to get dumped for a more 🥇🎨🖋 🎭 Janis: I've only got the one Janis: ain't nothing but the writer Janis: and his ideas usually get ignored anyway Jimmy: ❌ Jimmy: oh Bill Janis: you don't have to feel bad for him Janis: is trying to steal me Jimmy: can't blame him for having a go Janis: far as  🧛 fake girlfriends go Jimmy: 🥇🏆💪 far as muses go Janis: I wasn't expecting half as many of the pub crawl pics to come out Janis: and that's not sounding surprised again Janis: just that the 🥴😵 wasn't too real Jimmy: you're that dickhead who looks #goals even with the 📸 on Janis: you make me look good Janis: #talent Janis: #skillz Jimmy: it's nowt to do with me Jimmy: you just look Janis: yeah well Janis: we're #goals by default 'cos you're not ugly yourself Janis: half of 'em probably think they're doing charity work or something 🦐🦑 Jimmy: tis the season Jimmy: 💀👑 must be 💔 she can't get back on it Janis: looks great on a CV Janis: but daddy hasn't thought about that Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: kicking himself when he realises she's already too thick for Trinity Janis: God ONLY knows where she'll end up now Jimmy: 🤞 for the north OBVS Janis: 🤔 Janis: Leeds? Janis: I'll float the idea to her Jimmy: fit right in, her Jimmy: no need to ever leave Janis: SO happy for her and her new Northern life Jimmy: chuck you an oscar in a bit Janis: you got me another prezzie? Janis: you shouldn't have 🤗😘 Jimmy: can't help myself Janis: 🎅 energy Jimmy: just wanna be the 🎅 you deserve 💕 Janis: awh, don't make us cry Jimmy: 🚗 or 🏃? Janis: 🚗 Janis: why not Jimmy: alright 🚫😭 Janis: Considerate Janis: all you know I'm already ten sheets to the wind Jimmy: I'd know Janis: alright 👮 Jimmy: give yourself away ages before I got you to do any blowing, pisshead Janis: piss off would I Jimmy: weren't a challenge Janis: didn't say it was Janis: not bringing a bottle, obviously Janis: don't wanna make friends with him do I Jimmy: could've given it to me Janis: if it's a requirement I'll keep driving, dickhead Jimmy: if it were a requirement I'd have said before now Janis: then shh Janis: I might've got you something Jimmy: weird coincidence, that Janis: you did? Janis: almost like it's a holiday or something Jimmy: Dunno, sounds fake to me, that, mate Janis: what did you get me then Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 😣 Janis: mean Jimmy: come here and open it Janis: if it's your dick in box I'm gonna be a 🤏 unimpressed Jimmy: 🎀 Janis: gift wrapping skills leaving nothing to be desired Janis: got it Jimmy: [a picture of this wrapped gift like how rude look how beautiful it is] Janis: don't be a tease again Janis: I'm already driving fast as I can Jimmy: only be a tease if didn't give it you Jimmy: actually for Libi, soz like Janis: she's had enough Janis: take it even if it's another cuddly toy Jimmy: I ain't giving you no clues Janis: not even if I 🥺 Jimmy: go on Janis: [does but obviously it's very pisstakey] Jimmy: 👏👏🌹 Janis: is that a clue Jimmy: might be Jimmy: might just not fancy you 💀💀💀 from the lack of attention before you get here Janis: very possible Janis: so like me Jimmy: can't take the risk Janis: all the 💪🥇 heroics for you Jimmy: tah Jimmy: nowt to do with being a dickhead who needs you to do owt Janis: 'course not Jimmy: #notallsantas Jimmy: but crack on through the 🌨 to bring me my Jimmy: 🎁 Janis: does this mean I'm an elf Jimmy: you're poor exploited rudolf and I'm your dead keen missus Jimmy: we've switched Janis: 😱 Jimmy: crack on and save me an' all Jimmy: would call this house a prison if I were a dramatic sort of reindeer lass Janis: I doubt you're being treated to such stunning musical numbers whilst you sit and rot though Janis: actually be right there, like Jimmy: you gonna sing for us? Janis: also how you know I'm not that drunk Janis: no karaoke now Jimmy: not even if I 🥺 Janis: 😏 Janis: we'll see Jimmy: [obvs does because always that bitch] Janis: [just assuming your xmas injury is not visible?] Jimmy: [I'm gonna say no so that the bubs won't know when we go to skerries because that's feelsier] Janis: [I vibe] Janis: okay, pretty convincing Jimmy: always sounding so 😱 you Janis: I might've forgotten what you looked like Jimmy: either that's bollocks or what you said a bit ago about my #goals face were Janis: you decide Jimmy: 👌 Janis: maybe I'm just saying it's been ages Jimmy: not denying that Janis: then take the compliment Jimmy: if we're telling each other what to do, shut up and drive Janis: 1. you always try and tell me what to do 2. what do you think I'm doing, you shut up Jimmy: 1. when do I? 2. pissing about Janis: literally constantly, no way I could narrow it down to a few examples Jimmy: convenient, that Janis: well bossy Janis: #bossbabe Jimmy: OI 👏 do 👏 you 👏 wanna 👏 buy 👏 the 👏 shite 👏 off 👏 my 👏 facebook 👏 OR 👏 WHAT? Janis: Honey, you're in a pyramid scheme Janis: and the lipsticks are shit 💁 Jimmy: 💰 on that being what pub crawl Sharon or Karen 💋 me with Jimmy: might've woken up with no face and your #ultimatekinkunlocked Janis: never gonna sell 'em so she may as well get some wear out of 'em Jimmy: #entreprenher Janis: 🤢 Janis: #dirtyoldcow Jimmy: 🐑 or nowt for this lad Jimmy: and she weren't even blonde! Janis: honestly, who does she think she is Janis: walking 'round like she's 👸🏼 Jimmy: *👰🏼 Jimmy: I'm a good catholic boy now 🚫💍🚫💋 Janis: 🤞 you've just made my nan drop down dead somewhere Jimmy: merry christmas, my dear Jimmy: 👍✔⚰ Janis: best present ever 😍😍 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: what did you get anyway Janis: fun was watching everyone struggle to get me anything without hint or direction Jimmy: mine were Ian not bothering to surprise us with 🐱🐭🐹🐰 or 🐢🐍🦎 to go with the 🐕 no dickhead asked for Janis: Such a read of poor Twix Janis: never again Jimmy: the one favour she's done us Janis: * I read 😇 Jimmy: he wants to bring her tomorrow Jimmy: 🤞🚫🐕 allowed Janis: plenty of places we can go that are only fake dog friendly Janis: but likewise, loads we can go where she can as well Jimmy: where do you want to? Janis: where do you wanna Jimmy: that's not an answer Janis: I don't care, s'not about me Jimmy: or me Janis: well we can't just let them decide or fuck knows what hell we'd end up in Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: have a 💭 Janis: you too Janis: or you'll blame me if it's crap Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: but alright Janis: 😒 is permanent I know Jimmy: while I've still got a face any road Janis: we'll see how far the chemical burn can drive your rating down Jimmy: it won't with you, nowt else matters obvs Janis: won't run my rating down, or won't change my # of you? Jimmy: hang on, your rating ain't the same as your #s?! 😱 Janis: oops, I meant scale of #1-#10 Jimmy: don't matter, we're 💕 face or no face Janis: if you wanted sympathy, a well good breakup where I look like a total bitch Janis: and you don't need to fake no terminal illness Jimmy: be a bit rude Janis: could work Janis: though the sympathy sex DMs might get out of control for the gals that can stomach it Jimmy: you're really not convincing me this is even a 🥉 plan Janis: I was just thinking of myself, ngl babes Janis: the only lads who would bother me would be the ones that like mean girls, so at least I could still piss on 💀👑's parade and steal all her victims Jimmy: 👍 Janis: is that a 🤝? Janis: 👍 Jimmy: if it were I'd have said it were Janis: ugh Janis: fine Jimmy: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: do it whilst you still can Janis: melty face Jimmy: 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 Janis: oh you Jimmy: highlight of my day, that Janis: I know that's saying fuck all so Jimmy: 🎻🎻'll say it for me Jimmy: should probably 😭 while I can an' all Jimmy: brb Janis: where you going? Janis: I'll be there soon Jimmy: not telling you where I 😭 Janis: 🙄🙄😑 right Janis: carry on Jimmy: I'll dry my eyes before you get here, nowt to worry about Jimmy: back to 😎🚬 business as usual Janis: thank god Janis: not the kind of 'pleased to see me' I'm after Jimmy: 🔧🔨🪓🔪 I know Janis: be well rude if you'd forgot Jimmy: haven't had chance to smack myself round the head with any of 'em yet, you're alright Jimmy: nowt but a dream Janis: don't worry Janis: about to be a reality Jimmy: 🤞😍🤞 Janis: something like that Janis: am I coming in or are you coming outside Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: I dunno Janis: answer it and I'll see Jimmy: why would you wanna come in? Jimmy: the obvs answer to that one is you wouldn't Janis: Yeah, but mission piss off your dad is in full swing, hence I asked Janis: but alright Janis: obviously I'm not pulling up right outside your house in his car so come over park Jimmy: 🏃 Janis: [chilling outside this car not at all looking like you're about to do a drug deal or something] Jimmy: [chuck this 🎁 at her immediately because we're excited and also it's a distraction from how forlorn he clearly is] Janis: [poke and prod and shake it like you can work out what it is] Jimmy: [a look like open it then] Janis: [a look like don't rush me but obviously does and I cannot overstate how actually #SHOOK we'd be like idk what you're gonna say gal] Jimmy: [jimothy just gonna assume you don't like it, thanks for the self doubt Ian] Janis: ['mine's a bit shit now' like it's just a lighter but also you got that engraved we see you] Jimmy: [gesture for that gift like I'll be the judge of that thank you] Jimmy: [we know he's buzzing and is gonna use it immediately] Janis: [handing it over like you're not that bothered but clearly are, lowkey just looking through as much of the book as we can rn] Jimmy: [please do gal because he was joking about 😭 a min ago but he'd actually be emosh af rn cos the greatest gift we have ever received honestly] Janis: [when you don't even have to explain that you had it done before he did it 'cos literally last night and it's Christmas, we're all a bit emosh and overwhelmed now lmao, slayed it too hard] Jimmy: [not putting the lighter away even after his lit both of your 🚬 -which would be a moment ™ rn in each other's grill while overwhelmed af- because we're just gonna keep tracing that engraving with our fingers lowkey forever] Janis: [the amount of times we keep going to say something, like, literally no one has ever got us a gift this good, or how much we like it, or literally any of it, but we cannot 'cos it's too much so just standing here dying and smoking] Jimmy: [hard same though, they are both very much in the same boat, but add loads of blinking for him so he don't sob nbd] Janis: [when nothing is safe rn, can't speak, can't make out, just like !!! so hard, do a feelsy lean like you okay 'cos can't verbalise so] Jimmy: [obvs gonna do a feelsy lean back which hopefully won't hurt you too much boy because idk how we're hurting you this time] Janis: [yeah just let me know when it would be obvious 'cos not oblivious but don't wanna act like she's psychic and just gonna know immediately lol] Jimmy: [can you remember what injury I did when ice bath because I remember that but not what was fucking him up at the time] Janis: [it was just general body shots/potential for a broken rib moment, I think?] Jimmy: [that sounds accurate because nhs direct were like 🚭 so of course I did] Janis: [it just makes sense for where you would hit someone if you weren't going for a face moment, so potential you might of flinched then, I guess, so we're ? and out of our feels like what was that] Jimmy: [yeah like we're hiding the fact it hurts every time we breathe in so we don't have to forfeit the 🚬 and shit on your gift giving but the feelsy lean is our undoing, literally could've just not done it boy but we know you had to] Janis: [like honestly well done for getting that far it's only 'cos it was so dramatically emotional, the lowkey speed we're putting together what Bobby said, the obvious fact you were driving Ian's stolen car, like okay, so at least we don't have to ask the question, just gently holding his face 'cos can't even hug him or anything 'can I see?' like lemme assess the damage] Jimmy: [at least you would have a bit of time left to downplay how bad it is by looking at her like I'm fine before the bruises expose you because hasn't been long enough for them to fully be !!!!] Janis: [a look like, so show me then, but not as cunty as that sounds lmao] Jimmy: [I look around at the weather like do you want me to freeze to death because I love that we're communicating in looks still lol] Janis: [turning around like oh look, a car] Jimmy: [go sit in it because the weather isn't just an excuse clearly if you're gonna get snowed in tomorrow] Janis: [turn that heating on gal 'bit rude you weren't gonna seduce me' but your tone making it obvs you don't reckon you're gonna succeed at lightening the mood rn but you're alright with not making him talk about it too] Jimmy: ['bit rude of you to reckon I weren't' and a look around like is this not the perfect place to seduce you in because we will downplay this situation until the day we die so it's all nbd and we're SO FINE] Janis: [likewise looks around and shrugs 'suppose it's no less romantic than the park' and then looks out at said park and just chills in the silence for a bit] Jimmy: [we're looking too cos the mems and then eventually we're like 'come here then' as if we're gonna just hook up in this car as standard, sir your injuries] Janis: [does not] Jimmy: [nudges her like excuse you but you know that's gonna make you flinch if the feelsy lean did so then we're just annoyed for letting that happen again] Janis: [sighs, 'never promised I was gonna kill you today' like simply not in this state, and then is looking around again for something, before taking off our hoodie and getting out to assemble this snow pack] Jimmy: [OTT fake sigh to hide how big our genuine sigh would have been as if she doesn't know and then we're just watching her do this like ? before it becomes obvious what she's doing 'got loads of frozen sprouts at ours' because who in his fam would wanna eat them but we're not stopping her because we're hiding this from Bobby at least even if Cass knows] Janis: [just giving this to him like put it where you need it most 'you could go lay in it but you nah'd that idea before we even started' again, gentle pisstaking rn] Jimmy: [does obvs so you're gonna see anyway gal 'no I never, you never said that were your plan' likewise with our gentle pisstaking as if this is a normal day] Janis: [gestures like be my guest 'not a requirement I've gotta be on top of you' but we're looking the best we can without dramatically examining him right now and we're not happy with what we seeing, obviously] Jimmy: ['weren't a requirement for me to get my tits out either but that's what you were after a bit ago' as if she was asking him to flash her instead of trying to investigate whether he's alright or not, I lol] Janis: [IRL 🙄 at you boy 'you gonna try and tell me you're not that sort of girl now'] Jimmy: [crosses himself in the most pisstakey manner cos he's still him, however much pain he's in] Janis: [lols 'great, fake waiting 'til fake marriage now'] Jimmy: [is like 🤫 but way hotter than that emoji is obviously and then kissing her as if it's their secret] Janis: [the casual restraint we must show so it doesn't end up going too heavy here, but still, you can kiss as his face isn't injured rn, points to the heavens like, he's always watching babe] Jimmy: [a look up to said heavens like we're so #into that idea of a pervy voyeuristic god] Janis: [😏 'all about the #fans, you'] Jimmy: [shakes his head like a nerd 'don't sound like me'] Janis: [noise like hmm okay hun, after a little more silence, 'where were the kids?' we mean when Ian beat him up but up to you if he follows this train of thought] Jimmy: [shaking his head again before he can stop himself but obvs this time seriously like they didn't see anything because he does know what she means and my vibe is that whenever this happened Cass would've kept Bobby busy when the arguing started but because jimothy isn't ready to get into this whole story even though she's already worked it out he's gonna pretend he doesn't know what she's going on about and that was simply a confused headshake 'what?'] Janis: ['where are the kids now, like?' like what they up to, how'd you sneak out vibes, not 'cos you wanna pretend that's what you said all along but you understood if nothing else that he heard you and he doesn't wanna talk about however he understood what you said so we changing the subject] Jimmy: [nods in the direction of his house literally over the road 'can probably see 'em pissing about with all the shit he's bought from here' because we know that's the only parenting Ian does honey] Janis: [nods because we understand this type of parenting too, even if that isn't actually all that ruster do but you know 'gonna take weeks to get rid of all the fucking wrapping paper at ours'] Jimmy: [flicks his lighter she got him on and off 'you'll have a right laugh doing that' because we know she loves the one we gave her too] Janis: ['another good idea' and going to switch out his snow pack 'is it helping a bit?'] Jimmy: ['full of 'em, me' because we can't even with people taking care of us because when does that ever happen but it is helping so we've gotta add 'but you do alright yourself an' all'] Janis: [shrugs like it's the literal least we can do 'cos we think other people would probably have something to say or whatever rn and we don't 'you had any painkillers yet?'] Jimmy: [mimes drinking but that's clearly a pisstake because you'd know if he was drunk rn and is about to say something but actually does 🥱 because hasn't had any sleep which would hurt so thank god for this snow actually working so it's bearable] Janis: [back at it with this snow pack like we're anticipating that, before rummaging round in this car looking for some pills, gonna say there's none, at least he lives more central than you gal, looking at him like hmm 'you should go lay in the back' like get comfy whilst I run to the shops 'shame Helena isn't actually a dealer, though'] Jimmy: ['bit weird if you drove all this way to watch me sleep, Joanne' but does go to get comfy because why not tbh but because he's him he's pulling her along with him like I only will if you come and lie with me 'or in the boot' imagine if she just popped up like hey LOL] Janis: ['what are you gonna do about it?' said like a usual challenge but it simply is not, speaking of the boot reaching over now she's also in the back for the obligatory random coats and picnic blankets etc so she can cover him up so he doesn't get cold whilst having to be covered in snow as well, just tucking him in and shaking our head like oh you 'so soz I didn't kidnap any bitch for you and tie her up back there'] Jimmy: [tries to start a playfight but we simply can't so we're grumpy and forlorn but we're pretending we're gutted about the lack of kidnap only and making it OTT and fake as per 'you'll have to do' and acting like we're gonna tie her up with something but snuggling into her because we are buzzing she's here in these shit times] Janis: [just snuggling for a while, trying to make him as comfortable as possible all things considered 'I've got to get some pain relief in you before you crash' and dramatically tearing yourself away like you won't be 10 minutes or so] Jimmy: [checking his imaginary watch like no no I don't have time to crash it's alright because you simply don't want her to go even though she's literally gonna be 10 minutes lol] Janis: [pouting unintentionally 'cos likewise don't really wanna leave him like you could take the car but don't wanna drive it all over this town unnecessarily like they run license plate checks often enough to not be silly with it 'I'll get drink too, if I can, if you want' like every little helps] Jimmy: [gotta just run his thumb over that pouty lip like that's not the most distracting thing ever because if we say something we'll just be like DON'T GO!! too dramatically to even pretend is fake so we can't even talk, so soz that he can't answer a question ever at the best of times but managing to get out 'if you want' as if she's the one who needs it oh jimothy] Janis: [testing you so hard right now soz gal, 'it'll keep us warm' because you have to be at least slightly suggestive back before running] Jimmy: speaking of kidnap, my sister's coming tomorrow an' all Jimmy: can chuck the 🐕 at her soon as it starts doing our heads in Janis: 👍 Janis: we won't have to do something completely 4-6 shit then and we can blame it on her on the sly Janis: sorted Jimmy: Dunno what or where they'll all be bothered about Janis: well I have been 🤔 like you said Jimmy: go on Jimmy: what's your 🥇💡? Janis: we can kick it cliche and go to the beach Janis: but not here Janis: nan and granda got a caravan in Skerries and Libi would love showing you and Bobby around no doubt Jimmy: *#goals Jimmy: if Libi's 😁 our kid will be Janis: awh Janis: thank god they don't go to our school Janis: too much competition Jimmy: he's been going on about her all day Jimmy: don't even need #s Janis: had to wrestle my phone off her 'cos she was trying to call him midway through lunch to see if he had to eat carrots too Jimmy: the answer's he don't have to eat owt he don't want, she'd have been 💔 Jimmy: just tells Ian he's allergic to whatever it is if he starts Jimmy: he'd be well good at fake dating, oscar's in the bag Janis: honestly, coming for your job at CG next Janis: when he can reach the counter Jimmy: he can have that, they've been on at me to work tomorrow Janis: seriously Janis: who needs overpriced caffeine that badly boxing day Jimmy: what dickhead needs it any day? Janis: true Janis: but especially now Jimmy: Pete needs the 💰💰 for new 🎸 strings or some bollocks, I've told him to crack on Jimmy: 😘 Janis: he'll remember you when he's made it big Jimmy: 🤞 he'll write a song about me Jimmy: you can sing it Janis: that's cruel and unusual punishment Janis: obviously want a song written about me, not to sing about you 💔 Jimmy: you'll have to earn yours an' all Jimmy: he's no slag Janis: it is easy though Jimmy: to write a song or inspire one? Janis: to inspire one Janis: even without shifts to swap Jimmy: inspire me then Jimmy: might 🖋 you one Janis: right now I'm a bit busy getting you drugs and alcohol Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Jimmy: what are you gonna do let 💊 🥃 inspire me instead? Janis: Can you even write? Janis: I'll know if you cheat and let Bill's 👻 do it for you Jimmy: even the thickest northerner would know if Bill's 👻 had a go Jimmy: all his thees and thous Janis: that's how they talk in the countryside though Janis: I've been forced to read Wuthering Heights, tah Jimmy: bit rude you ain't written me a sonnet, living out there in the middle of nowt with all them fit 🐑 all about to act as a muse for you Janis: if it don't fit on a lighter, how am I gonna get you to see it? Jimmy: carve it into my 😎 Janis: a good idea 'til you're legally blind and I've got to train the dog more than sit and stay Jimmy: if anyone could though, mate Jimmy: obvs you Jimmy: train it to walk us into traffic and that's another job done Janis: nah Janis: shit way to die Janis: where's the fun in it for me? Jimmy: never said there were, it were you saying you were busy Janis: come on Janis: never too busy for you, darling Jimmy: walked into that like I were blind Janis: you are sleepy Janis: won't be too disappointed in you Jimmy: should've let you meet Ian, that's step mum talk if I've ever heard it Janis: financially ruining him with the divorce is just the tip of the iceberg of shit I'd be more than willing to do Janis: #fakedatethefakeboyfriendsrealdad? Janis: might be the logical next step Jimmy: if that's the tip, can't wait to hear what you're willing to do on the rest of that iceberg Janis: nothing if not dedicated to the cause Jimmy: 😍😍 Janis: I did forget how many places would be shut though Janis: there'll be somewhere Jimmy: It's alright Jimmy: come back Janis: no you need some Jimmy: I'll live Janis: how about at yours Jimmy: 💊 ✔ 🥃✔ Jimmy: not gonna get any 🏆 off Helena or her customers but Janis: yeah but, can you go in Janis: or am I Jimmy: I get it, you wanna crack on with your iceberg strategy Janis: 🛳 Jimmy: I better crack on an' all and paint you before I 🥶🌊 Janis: you better still be under those blankets Jimmy: [a picture like 👀 peeping out from those blankets] Janis: you're adorable Jimmy: come back Janis: okay Janis: but I am gonna make you feel better somehow Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: knew you couldn't resist me, Jules Janis: never said I could Janis: but you've got to resist me Jimmy: don't challenge me Jimmy: not like that Janis: Sorry Jimmy: 🎻💔😭 Janis: I know, baby Janis: so devastating Jimmy: worst christmas EVER Janis: 🥺 Janis: you would feel differently if you'd picked yourself up a 🐶 Jimmy: that'd be worst christmas ever and ever amen Janis: STOP PRAYING Janis: it's so weird Jimmy: make me Janis: 😈 Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: [show back up, lowkey grumpy you forgot it was Christmas day but we're happy to see him, checking he's comfortable and probably doing the snow pack again] Jimmy: [snuggle her because she must be cold and that's obvs the only reason okay] Janis: [get yourselves situated lads] Jimmy: [opening his mouth to say a million things like thanks, I missed you, I was only joking it's not the worst christmas ever but we don't know how to say any of them so we're just not] Janis: [putting your finger on his mouth like he said anything at all there 's'alright' like it so isn't for either of you rn but you're trying god bless Jimmy: [hitting her with some intense eye contact like I hope you can read my mind rn because all those things I wanna say are so important] Janis: [at least you can kiss] Jimmy: [you both very much need to, I couldn't be that evil] Janis: [or something is gonna come out here, I can't be held responsible lol] Jimmy: [literally same so shh for a bit please] Janis: [emotions are running hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh and not jus me character bleeding] Jimmy: [they are and that's why it's gonna be so fun that they get snowed in and so heartbreaking when she leaves] Janis: [oh the delicious drama] Jimmy: [speaking of leaving neither of you are gonna wanna go home even more than usual] Janis: [like you barely have to, just to make sure Cass and Bobby are ready and you've got to get Libi gal but yes, still] Jimmy: [damn you kiddos, we know they'd just go now if not for y'all] Janis: [when you can't leave your siblings, so sad, so rude] Jimmy: [literally didn't ask to be parents rn but we are out here becoming a family unit] Janis: [god bless, at least you're all gonna have a good time on this trip] Jimmy: [we'll make sure you do, lads, casual domestic bliss] Janis: [but seriously, is there anything else we dare to say or do rn before making you separate] Jimmy: [we should probably separate you but I don't want to lol] Janis: [at least you can message when you're separated so you'll have to say something and not just snugg] Jimmy: [give her your hoodie or jumper before she goes because she's sacrificed hers for you and you easily can sacrifice one of your layers because you only have to go across the road when you can bring yourself to] Janis: [cute selfie you don't need to take to prove you're still wearing it like 5 minutes later lol] Jimmy: [one back of him taking some painkillers, I imagine they're on his sticky out tongue in a sassy manner like we're calling her out for worrying about him when he's OBVS FINE but we're sending the pic actually so she won't worry because we care] Janis: take more than the recommended dose, tah Janis: but only double, no 💀 Jimmy: I get it, no self induced coma unless you're there to take advantage Janis: if Sandy ain't gonna Jimmy: how many oscars has she got? you should've have 'em off her Janis: has she got any? Janis: you're her biggest fan, you tell me Jimmy: it's you bringing her up Janis: sounds fake Jimmy: you'd know about that more than me Janis: Why would I? Jimmy: you're going for her oscars Janis: on my own Janis: I think not Jimmy: don't reckon they'll cut one in half for us Jimmy: and as long as I've got the #fans convinced I why would I need owt else? Janis: long-winded way of saying you'd be 🥈 Jimmy: what you thought I were done giving you 🎁s Janis: don't cheapen the actual gift, dickhead Janis: also if you aren't, gonna have to do the classic see-what's-lying-about-to-wrap so Jimmy: nowt cheap about 🥇 Janis: is if you reckon you're giving it me Janis: got to earn it or what's the point Jimmy: don't you reckon you have? Janis: don't you? Jimmy: what for? Janis: for our 💘story Janis: what else? Jimmy: not today I've not Janis: yeah you have Janis: anyway, no cunt works christmas Jimmy: you have 🚑 Janis: that's not 💘 Janis: I wanted to see you Janis: then you was fucked up, what am I meant to do? Janis: anyone would Jimmy: 🏃 Jimmy: that's what loads of people would do Janis: nah Janis: not a pussy Jimmy: 💔🧛 there weren't no 🩸 though Jimmy: next time 🤞 Janis: you might be pissing it Janis: but I'm not thrilled about that Janis: lack of a piss fetish aside Jimmy: I'll leave out the selfie one way or the other Janis: 💡 Janis: don't wanna get banned, babe Jimmy: sounds fake, that Jimmy: love a ban, me Janis: fine Janis: can you not just do an appropriately placed 🍆 sticker Jimmy: depends how massive the sticker'll go, babe Jimmy: no promises Janis: 😏 Janis: idiot Jimmy: 🚫🩸🧠 Janis: that old excuse Jimmy: no need to tell the fans it's 'cause I'm pissing it out Janis: 🤫 Janis: though no need if you plan on going live next time you need a slash Jimmy: only if the 💊🥃 really inspire me Janis: 🙄 Janis: soz we're not going away on a bender Jimmy: have to rely on you for my 🎨 then Janis: nice of you not to demote me Jimmy: here Jimmy: [whatever today's doodle the final one of this advent is] Janis: it's the last one Jimmy: don't have to be Janis: you gonna keep doing it 'til 💀💔 Jimmy: why not? Janis: not very goals if you get wrist strain Jimmy: I'll spread it about it's not 🍆 related, don't worry Janis: tah Jimmy: 😘 Janis: you'll run out of ways to draw me before long Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: ✏🖌💪 Jimmy: Oi you forgot 🖋🖍 Janis: 🖋 is Bill's 🖍 is Bobby's Jimmy: bit rude Janis: you're being the hog Janis: learn to share Jimmy: gave him the last roast potato ages ago Jimmy: just the kind of brother I am 🏆 Janis: show off Jimmy: keep your jealousy in check, I'd have given it you if you'd been here Janis: had a plate load myself, don't you worry Jimmy: sleep easy now, tah Janis: that makes one of us Jimmy: I get it, you're 😁 for tomorrow Jimmy: you and our kid both Janis: more like Libi won't leave me alone now for the same reason Janis: she basically does acrobatics in her sleep so that'll be well fun Jimmy: 💔 we can't chuck the two of 'em in a room in a bit and leave 'em to it Jimmy: 'cause he'll be as bad Janis: you're gonna have to sleep on his floor Janis: hard surface will help in the long run Jimmy: dunno how I'm explaining that Jimmy: 🦷🔦🦷 brb just checking for monsters mate, don't 😱😭 or owt Janis: duh, say you wanna go camping Janis: then he'll inevitably wanna join you and you can have the bed to yourself when he crashes Jimmy: make up your mind, Janet Jimmy: hard surface you said Janis: just rather you didn't get booted Janis: either or on where you end up Jimmy: weren't in my #ultimategoals Janis: obviously, I ain't there Jimmy: what you trying to make me 😭😭😭 for? Janis: not my ultimate goal either Jimmy: that'd be turning the 🚗 round Janis: 'course Janis: what could be more cinematic Jimmy: nowt, which is why I said it Janis: shame you don't write the scene directions Jimmy: yeah Janis: he's such a cockblock Jimmy: SUCH a slag for the tension Janis: bit rude 'cos he had them married, fucked and dead in the space of like 3 days in the OG Jimmy: what's he trying to say about us? the dickhead Janis: maybe he's trying to be more #relatable to a modern audience? Janis: he's seen the ❤s and the views Jimmy: next go round he'll do it so they never meet IRL Janis: 😱 oh god Janis: I'd kms immediately Jimmy: there you go Jimmy: job done in even less than 3 days Janis: at least I get to 👀 at you Janis: an actual fake boyfriend that doesn't exist is well 🎻 Jimmy: the 🎨 would be SO shite Janis: probably 'cos I'd have to do it myself Jimmy: nah 'cause I wouldn't be in it Janis: 😂 Janis: bighead strikes again Jimmy: Oi that's a point Jimmy: you never did sing to me Janis: shh Jimmy: go on Janis: I can't just sing at you Jimmy: why? Janis: 1. it'd be weird 2. contrary to popular (your) belief, I don't think I'm well mint at everything Jimmy: 1. you're making it weird 2. you never will with that attitude, dickhead Janis: 😑 Jimmy: *3. please Janis: let a good song come on the radio first Jimmy: as excuses go 🏆 Jimmy: know how you feel about interrupting Mariah Janis: [voice recording of us singing along to whatever festive song is on rn like there] Jimmy: 👏👏🌹 Jimmy: but none for me 'cause I never thought through how much that'd make me miss you Janis: it's hardly a lullabye but Janis: you wanted it Jimmy: dunno what's more of a pisstake 1. you not reckoning you're good at owt 2. that there's actually nowt you aren't 3. how bad I still want you here Janis: I just know what I'm good at, properly Janis: most people can sing if someone teaches you how to breathe right Janis: but the last part is mutual Jimmy: you gonna give me the bulletpoints or what? Janis: of what I'm good at? Jimmy: can't teach me to breathe properly from there, might as well Janis: I don't think nows the time for breathing exercises, like Janis: and you've seen or you'll see what I'm good at Jimmy: don't want you to crash the 🚗 girl Jimmy: why I said the breathing bit can wait Janis: 😏 Janis: but Jimmy: but Janis: I miss you Jimmy: it wasn't long enough Jimmy: tomorrow'll be Jimmy: you'll be telling me to piss off by the end Janis: maybe Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: not that being a MASSIVE dickhead is, obvs Janis: obviously Janis: but you're literally competing with children so who am I gonna get sick of faster Jimmy: goes without saying won't be the 🐕 Janis: you brought her up Jimmy: missing me less already look Janis: dickhead Janis: you bringing her then? Jimmy: 🤞 Ian'll murder her if I don't Janis: that's a yeah Jimmy: how is it? Janis: you don't want her murdered Jimmy: the blame for it, but that'll be @iantaylor8 Jimmy: chuffed to bits for him to have it Janis: maybe she'll 'run away' tomorrow then Jimmy: went to live with mum, nowt to worry about kids 👍 Janis: an update on the farm classic Jimmy: 🗨 bollocks is what he's good at Janis: not going for the easy gag of saying it's where you got it from Jimmy: 🎯 Janis: should I bring Killer? Jimmy: do you want to? Janis: not really Janis: but she'd flip shit if you brought Twix Janis: don't wanna get them on the rocks already 💔 Jimmy: you're alright, I'll leave her here Janis: 👌 I'll tell her Jimmy: 👌 Janis: might have to call you up when she refuses to take my word for it Jimmy: if she has a go at me in sign she can say whatever she likes Jimmy: haven't taught her nowt that'll 💔 me Janis: we all know 💩head is pretty devastating Janis: don't need to put a brave face on Jimmy: #notallsantas Jimmy: how many times, babe Janis: how dare I forget how special you are Jimmy: SO rude Janis: Baby Jimmy: I'll forgive you, just that kind of 🎅 Janis: the kind that misses out on an opportunity to have me make it up to you? Janis: psh Jimmy: the kind that knows you will Janis: purposely won't now Jimmy: alright, then I'll have to make you Janis: look forward to seeing you try Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: let's hope so Janis: I wanted to be nice to you but now I can't on principle Jimmy: 🥺🥺🥺 Janis: stop it Jimmy: when you start being nice to me Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: you better not lose the lighter Jimmy: 😱😱 AS IF Janis: or give it away to any fucker in the smoking area Jimmy: well generous, me Jimmy: that'll DEFINITELY happen Janis: 😠 Jimmy: it's not the last roast potato, you're alright Janis: 👌 Jimmy: it is Jimmy: whatever you give me is safe with me Janis: alright, we did fairytale of new york last night Jimmy: weren't likely to forget how 🥇 I did the accent Janis: you don't take Irish and it shows Jimmy: said nowt about chucking that lighter at your head Janis: well I've got a full play to hit you with so think on, Shane Jimmy: stop flirting with me Janis: rude Jimmy: I'm trying to tell you I like my 🎁 dickhead Janis: so do I Jimmy: good Janis: Libi said tell Bobby to remember Snow Janis: it was a bit threatening tbh but leave that out Jimmy: forget Snow, forget this friendship, mate 👋 Janis: what can I say Janis: she's got priorities Jimmy: takes after you, gonna chuck me if I chuck this lighter Janis: least no fucker else is gonna reckon she's my kid Jimmy: they'll hear me 🗨 and reckon they're all mine Janis: the reality is they'll probably think they're yours and your sisters Janis: soz 🤢 Jimmy: grim up north Janis: not gonna make your sister buzzing for the day out so 🤫 Jimmy: not gonna add her into this 🗨 Jimmy: she might not wanna now the 🐕's not Janis: @ all of 'em Janis: cheek Jimmy: 💔 Janis: least you wanna spend time with me Janis: have to do Jimmy: you gonna be nice to me then? Janis: depends Jimmy: ? Janis: are you gonna be nice to me or what Jimmy: dunno what you mean Jimmy: never not nice to you Janis: 🤔 Janis: not really an answer, that Jimmy: be nice to me, you can have the same back Jimmy: how's that? Janis: when am I not nice to you is the question Janis: but alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: see, no answer Janis: I'm too nice to you Jimmy: or I were being nice by 🔥 the receipts Janis: ha Janis: go for it, not like I'm delusional like the gals and think I'm SO lovely to EVERYONE Jimmy: should've introduced them to Ian Jimmy: that's his #vibe today Janis: long as he promises to murder them Janis: ideal Jimmy: won't be able to help himself, obvs Jimmy: they make up for not being bottle blonde by looking 45 Janis: I'll tell Grace to put the right wig on Jimmy: bit of patience 💀👑 and 💀#2's will have all fallen out Janis: less evidence clean up Janis: considerate of them Janis: really are #saints Jimmy: hang about for that tutorial, you'll be well in Janis: 'scuse you Janis: I wore something girly and I've got a man Janis: literally the requirements apparently Jimmy: soz, you're right Jimmy: I were thinking about the learning experience that is Tammy's tiktoks Janis: 😂 Janis: if you think I'm dancing for you as well Janis: another thing coming Jimmy: have to do everything myself round here Janis: you love it Jimmy: one of us has to be #goals Jimmy: if you won't, it's up to me Janis: oi Jimmy: what? Janis: you take the piss Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: 🙄 Janis: not long ago you didn't like me walking, never mind 💃 Jimmy: and how mardy were you Jimmy: can't have it both ways, Jennifer Janis: you know why Jimmy: never said I didn't Janis: yeah Jimmy: I'll carry you about tomorrow if you're missing it Janis: no you won't Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: you're gonna take it easy Jimmy: 🛏⛓'s meant to be my kink not yours Janis: s'called roleplaying Janis: try it Jimmy: UGH FINE Janis: I promise you'll have a good time Jimmy: yeah? Janis: serious Jimmy: alright Jimmy: then I promise not to piss about Janis: okay Janis: are you alright? Jimmy: are you? Janis: yeah Janis: are you Jimmy: now I've seen you Janis: I mean it Jimmy: me an' all Janis: you and your lines Janis: make me 😳 Jimmy: Oi, I just said it weren't a line Janis: but Jimmy: you heard Janis: I wish I could've stayed Jimmy: do the counting for us Jimmy: til we can go Janis: I'm on it Janis: 🖕✌🤟 Jimmy: that were it Janis: well smart, like Janis: not to brag Jimmy: won't start you a # if you don't want Jimmy: I get it, loads of pressure Janis: what girl don't want a # for Christmas? Janis: #sospoilt Jimmy: [obvs does give her complimentary #s enjoy that the fans] Janis: [flirt on those socials 'cos we don't know what to really say atm] Jimmy: [take your excuse to be fake and extra because the feels are high rn] Janis: [you simply must lads, also hint about this trip like you've had it planned forever] Jimmy: [just wait for how romantic and #goals we can make it when we're snowed in lads, little do you know] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [thank god we have this flirting sesh because I've had to tone what I was gonna say down so many times lol like not yet boy] Janis: [a hard same] Janis: fake you is fun Jimmy: 🤏 of a twat, I get why you like him Janis: give him my number, yeah Jimmy: didn't sound like you were shy around him, reckon you can do that yourself Janis: reckon he'll be well about me making you do it though so Janis: tah Jimmy: massive twat were what I meant to call him Jimmy: 👍✔ Janis: 😏 Jimmy: you know how Bill's 👻 feels about a love triangle Janis: technically a love square but fuck fake me Janis: no one is here for her Jimmy: bit rude to the fans Janis: she's just a boring version of me Janis: deny it Jimmy: never said I was one of her fans Janis: 😱 Janis: *sends screenshot* Jimmy: *backtracks so hard I need more 💊s to sort me out but it's alright there's nowt more goals than a lad with no spine* Janis: we 👏 love 👏 a 👏 doormat 👏 Jimmy: works for mates an' all, dunno why I were acting like I were special there Janis: fake you is well special Janis: #facts Jimmy: 😇 him Janis: gotta be a reason the DMs are so full Jimmy: there's LOADS Jimmy: could go on and on Janis: 🤤 Janis: don't let me stop you Jimmy: he is, well humble that lad Janis: SO shy Janis: scaring him with my thirst Jimmy: bit awkward but can't help it you Janis: it's cool, I can pretend I'm shy too Janis: what's more goals than pretending you have a totally different personality to catch you a man Jimmy: duh Janis: you'd know all about that 😎🚬 Jimmy: I've had a girlfriend, yeah Janis: 💔 Janis: what she pretend to be then? Jimmy: a lass who weren't a total nightmare Janis: if you're gonna pretend to be anything Janis: fairplay Jimmy: did work for a bit, give her that Janis: not the first or last to fall for it Jimmy: obvs Janis: just saying Jimmy: weren't saying you should shut up Janis: well Janis: no need to chat about it Jimmy: 👍 Janis: wasn't what I mean anyway, for starters Jimmy: you meant I weren't 😎🚬 which for starters is bollocks Janis: okay 🤓 Jimmy: you Janis: Hardly Jimmy: more chance that you're a 🤓 than me Jimmy: and loads more receipts Janis: is there fuck Jimmy: deny it all you like, girl Jimmy: I can't even read Janis: ~express~ yourself in other ways don't you Janis: I don't Jimmy: bollocks do you not Janis: only when you force me to sing Jimmy: didn't take much 🥊 Janet Jimmy: barely twisted owt of yours Janis: 'cos you couldn't, soft boy Janis: be embarrassing to watch you try Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you'd be 😳 but we both know why Janis: not what we're talking about Jimmy: is it not? Janis: you know it's not Jimmy: sounds fake Janis: never said you weren't good at that Jimmy: I'm just saying you express yourself in as many different ways as me Janis: that's just Jimmy: what? Janis: 🤷🤐 Jimmy: tah for clearing that up Janis: that's just between you and me, is what I was going to say Jimmy: weren't gonna send a tweet, you're alright Janis: shut up Jimmy: that's just between me and everyone else Janis: something like that Jimmy: that's exactly what it's like Jimmy: I've got nowt to say to any of them Janis: Me either Janis: never have, really Jimmy: I like talking to you Jimmy: don't matter what about Janis: it's alright, ain't it Jimmy: that a question or what? Janis: we're mates? Janis: that's a question for you Jimmy: do you wanna be mates? Janis: we act like it Janis: don't we Jimmy: not what I asked but Janis: yeah but you always ask questions never answer so I'm allowed to as well Janis: don't you think we do? Jimmy: I dunno what you're on about, I answer questions Janis: 😂 Janis: you don't Jimmy: bollocks Janis: go on then Janis: answer my question Janis: without asking one Jimmy: hang on, which one, are we mates or do we act like it? Janis: can you manage 2? Janis: since you do it all the time, shouldn't be a struggle Jimmy: there's nowt I can't handle, dickhead Janis: ... Janis: I'm waiting Jimmy: fuck's sake Jimmy: you're so Jimmy: dunno why I wanna be mates with you Janis: Charming as that is Janis: still counts as an answer, so I'll take it Jimmy: 😘 Jimmy: I dunno what's more charming than I don't like talking to anybody but you Jimmy: or why you'd reckon I'd say that but not wanna be mates Janis: well you're confusing and I'm thick too sometimes Jimmy: you alright now? Jimmy: 'cause having to play 20 questions would be taking the piss a bit Janis: you don't take the piss and we will be fine Jimmy: I'm not taking the piss Jimmy: I can ask a mate if they're alright, can't I? Janis: you're making me sound like I'm well high maintenance and hysterical Jimmy: how am I? Janis: acting like I asked you 1000s instead of 2 Janis: but I am fine, despite you being a bit of a dickhead Jimmy: just said playing the games would be a pisstake when you ain't even sleeping over, nowt else Janis: that mean no midnight snacks? 💔 Jimmy: 😱😱 no Janis: we've made such a mistake Jimmy: 💔😭🎻 Janis: quick, pop on a romcom Jimmy: rather you popped back in the 🚗 Janis: me too Janis: can't really head off in the dead of night or it will be obvious it's a kidnapping Jimmy: we'll go back for her in a bit, I'll live Janis: I could come back Janis: what about if your brother wakes up though Janis: you can't kip in the 🚗 Jimmy: *should Jimmy: I'll let you in Janis: yeah? Janis: 👌 Jimmy: you gonna wait for everyone to be 😴 or what? Jimmy: I can't have your fit nan fuming at me Janis: for starters, ugh Janis: but I can just come back over Janis: though I probably should give them some ~quality family time~ before I do, keep them somewhat on side Jimmy: I don't care if you don't Jimmy: but if Libi wanted some bollocks from home that meant we needed to pick her up from there it'd be a top idea for you to stay here and a 🥇💡 for you to spread that about Janis: 😈 Janis: I knew I kept you around for a reason Jimmy: bit late to kidnap Star and chuck her back at your nans, she's too high profile now, every dickhead has seen her Janis: you are to blame for that bit Janis: but that's easy Janis: kids are idiots, or suggestible, if you wanna be nice about it Janis: I'll make her remember something she absolutely NEEDS Jimmy: you're not as thick as I look Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you aren't either but I won't spread that about Janis: reputation and everything Jimmy: gotta stay #relatable to the fans, babe Janis: #attainable some would say Jimmy: they can have the cancer I've got coming my way if they're that bothered Jimmy: not having you off me though Janis: I don't want nobody else Jimmy: none of them dickheads are good enough for you Janis: I don't care about that Janis: I just want you Jimmy: have me then Jimmy: I'm doing nowt but waiting here Janis: it's well inconvenient that I keep remembering you're hurt Jimmy: I'm alright Janis: don't worry, there's plenty we can do without injuring you further Janis: and I won't make any jokes about stamina Jimmy: don't YOU worry Jimmy: you heard, I'm alright Jimmy: nowt I can't handle, I said Janis: alright Janis: sorry Jimmy: ❌ Janis: just trying to help, not overreact though so yeah Janis: ✔ Jimmy: you did help Jimmy: tah for that, I should've 🗨 Janis: nah Janis: it's nothing Jimmy: not nowt to me Janis: whatever kind of dickhead you are Janis: no call for that Jimmy: it were my own fault, no denying that Janis: still Jimmy: you're a top mate on the first day of being one Jimmy: take your 🏆 Janis: the fact neither of us has got any others right now is really showing Janis: but fuck it Jimmy: I don't want any others Janis: me neither Janis: load of cunts Jimmy: up north, here and wherever else Ian tries to drag me next Janis: you wanna be penpals, yeah Jimmy: 🖋🩸 Jimmy: and 😭 obvs Jimmy: sweat's more your shout, being SUCH an athlete Janis: I'll send you some 🧦 Jimmy: 😍😍🤤 Janis: maybe I should charge, you're right Jimmy: got in there just in time for mates rates Janis: lucky you Jimmy: 🤞😁🤞 is right Janis: you're ridiculous Jimmy: what so you don't want my 💌? Janis: you ain't gonna write to me Jimmy: it ain't my fault I can't, Jasmine Jimmy: I'll send you daily 🎨 Janis: why are we talking about this? Jimmy: you asked Janis: oh so now you can't stop with your answers Jimmy: make up your mind, my dear Janis: shut up Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: better Janis: if we're gonna talk about anything, let's talk about now Jimmy: alright Janis: well, more specifically, in a bit, when I'll be there Jimmy: go on then Janis: what? Jimmy: 🗨 something Jimmy: that'd be how a conversation works Janis: ugh Janis: just Janis: I wanna see you Jimmy: it feels like ages since you were here Janis: I know Janis: but I don't know why Janis: it always feels like that Jimmy: I think you answered it when you said you wanna see me Janis: yeah Janis: no lie Jimmy: I get it, you know Janis: yeah, you aren't that good an actor Janis: I can tell Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: I mean, I asked for this when I picked you, but I didn't ask for this Janis: what's that supposed to mean? Jimmy: what I said Jimmy: it ain't always piss easy being in over my massive head, even if I manage to make it look it Janis: you ain't Janis: the plans going exactly to plan Janis: this is just Janis: fun, yeah Jimmy: dunno how pissed I were when I last said it but you are that, and do make owt less shit Janis: you too Janis: so let's keep doing it Jimmy: I weren't saying I don't wanna Janis: Obviously Janis: I'm coming over for a reason Jimmy: alright, don't take the piss Jimmy: I had a point somewhere, I just dunno what it were Janis: I ain't Janis: you're cute Jimmy: that sounds well pisstakey, girl Janis: but you are Janis: and I like you as a mate Janis: but no shit I wanna fuck you too Jimmy: gutted you don't wanna write to me, you're actually really good with words Janis: a pisstake Janis: but warranted Jimmy: I mean it, it were like you read my mind then and 🖋 it down Janis: as long as we're on the same 📑 I don't give a fuck how stupid it sounds Jimmy: about how cute I am? OBVS Janis: deal with it nerd Janis: you're adorable Jimmy: long as you keep it between us, call me what you like Janis: I wouldn't give me free rein like that Jimmy: as challenges go, I've accepted worse Janis: 😏 Janis: won't be calling you nothing though, gotta be well 🤫 ain't we Jimmy: whisper to me then Janis: I'll try Jimmy: you're alright, I won't make you promise Janis: I don't really wanna get kicked out Janis: and whispering leads too easily into Janis: more Jimmy: I'm not chucking you out and no other dickhead can Janis: be mildly amusing 'cos he don't know I'd just be going to sleep in his car but Jimmy: you'll be staying here, he's still being fake nice to me Janis: weird Jimmy: might be if I didn't know exactly why Janis: ? Janis: or is a stupid question Jimmy: he weren't visited by any 👻s if that's what you're asking Jimmy: have to keep his guilty conscience and pending sexual harassments rolling onto the new year Janis: Good to know that treatment is exclusively for bosses who don't pay enough or give Christmas eve off Janis: Soz to all the Sharons, you're gonna have to keep on grinning and bearing it, babe Janis: trust him to be the 'cries when he's finished' cliche Janis: cunt Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: but Sharon can come for your oscar and man tomorrow when she's got him and the place all to herself so she'll be chuffed to bits if no other other dickhead is Janis: 😬 Janis: gutted to be doing him any kind of favour, obvs Jimmy: leaving the 🐕 will 💔 them Janis: nothing like dog shit to ruin the mood Jimmy: or piss or 😭 Janis: she will be devvo if she ain't invited to join in Jimmy: 🤞 she'll be gutted enough to piss off Janis: you're so rude Janis: piss off and find you, you blatantly mean Jimmy: if that were my type I wouldn't have been after rescuing at the pub Janis: are we talking about Sharon or the dog? Jimmy: either or Jimmy: both a bit easy going with their 👅 Janis: and neither cuts their own fringe so what's the point eh Jimmy: exactly Janis: 🤓🎨😍 Jimmy: won't catch either of them in overalls that's OBVS me out Janis: 😂 don't Jimmy: them lasses probably would have a go at 🚬 with a 🖍 Janis: your brother is already cooler than you, I'd keep it quiet Jimmy: you're right, they'd kidnap him Jimmy: which is only #goals when I go on about it Janis: that's dubious at best but sure Jimmy: 😏 Janis: if you ever offered to kidnap me, maybe Janis: the 💘 is 💀 Jimmy: you come too willingly, nowt I can do about that Janis: rude Janis: try making me not wanna Jimmy: you're already on your way here or will be in a bit Jimmy: picked the wrong day to play hard to get Janis: plenty of time to turn around Jimmy: don't mean I wanna give you loads of chances Janis: fair, calling me easy again was a bold enough choice to count for multiple goes Jimmy: only compliment you've ever taken to 💘 Janis: ha Jimmy: any time you'd rather I go on about what hard work you are Jimmy: just say Janis: you poor #lads just can't win, is that what you're saying? Jimmy: it'll do Janis: 😏 Janis: just know what to say and exactly when to say it, christ Janis: not hard Jimmy: 👍 Janis: real lads do have the shitty end of the deal, tbh Jimmy: wouldn't know Jimmy: only a fake lad Janis: right Janis: got the little shorts and hat and everything Janis: cute Jimmy: what? Janis: Pinocchio Janis: the look Jimmy: Dunno him or where he gets his ootds Janis: oh Janis: awkward this isn't a homage Jimmy: bit awkward for you that he ain't my mate 'cause his dad is just your type 👴💕 Janis: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: we're all 💔 I don't have #lads to go to the pub with Janis: you ain't Janis: last time I brought it up you made that clear Jimmy: that'll by why I were in character 🤥 for you Jimmy: nowt if not supportive of your kinks, me Janis: 😱 Janis: can't believe you don't respect how important the #gurlgang is Jimmy: you can be 😱 after you've respected the 🤥📏 tah Janis: you and size Jimmy: doing you a MASSIVE favour is just the kind of lad I am Janis: wow, so thankful Jimmy: 🎁's just keep coming Jimmy: 💘'll never 💀💀💀 while I'm offering my face as a seat Janis: you might suffocate though Janis: 😳 Jimmy: top of my list for how I wanna 💀💀💀 now Jimmy: gutted I never thought of it sooner Janis: easily done Jimmy: ✔ Janis: don't ✔ like that's not a mental image that could make me crash, dickhead Jimmy: it were you who were going on about turning the car round and that like that weren't gonna make me say owt I could so you wouldn't Janis: as if I was going to Jimmy: now you won't Janis: I wasn't going to Janis: but any chance to 💀💀💀 you Jimmy: any chance to let you Janis: nothing more 💘 than that Jimmy: is that a challenge or what? Janis: you want it to be? Jimmy: do you want it to be? Janis: in what world am I going to say no? Jimmy: dunno, might be a world where you don't want your big head setting off the airbag Janis: I can handle it Jimmy: [🔥🔥 sext obvs like any chance to also kill you] Janis: I Jimmy: you Janis: no, you Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: it's your fault Janis: it feels like yours Jimmy: not to me Janis: I'm alright taking the blame for how you feel Jimmy: you can handle that an' all, yeah? Janis: you don't think I can? Jimmy: never said that Janis: Good Janis: because I can and I want to Jimmy: take it then Janis: [show up gal] Janis: I'm here Jimmy: [let her in and do that trope where you just kiss her immediately and against the door when you've closed it and while you're taking off her coat] Janis: [such a romcom forever] Jimmy: [can't and won't ever resist] Janis: [we're here for it shameless rn] Jimmy: [the question is are we saying that everyone is still up and about rn or are they asleep?] Janis: [hmm 'cos either is viable depends what vibe we want to achieve here] Jimmy: [yeah and there are pros and cons to either] Janis: [it'd be rude but potentially plot-driving/fun to have her first interaction with Ian because she hasn't yet] Jimmy: [bonus points if he's like asleep on the sofa or something because what a christmas mood and they wake him up either deliberately or accidentally] Janis: [what a dad, too full and drunk] Jimmy: [literally too perfect of a cliche not to take advantage of] Janis: [you're probably not gonna want to on purpose rn because we're in a #mood but Cass should blatantly still be up even if Bobby ain't and be like DAD JIMMYS GF IS HERE 'cos lord knows she's bored rn] Jimmy: [JJ just trying to have their makeout sesh, but I'll forgive you Cass we know you're upset because your mum isn't here and you know Jimothy and Ian have brawled because even if you didn't hear or witness it that's the only time Ian is ever nice to him so] Janis: [and you're 12 so 'nuff said on all counts] Jimmy: [mhmm, soz you gotta deal with Ian's fake niceness though Janis because that's not a mood] Janis: [ew, at least shit nan is honest is nothing else, lmao, just trying to take Jimmy's lead of the vibe he wants like are we being rude or fake nice back or what 'cos nothing in it for you beyond helping him out so] Jimmy: [would not have the strength to be fake nice to you if Bobby is not around rn because only doing it ever for his sake so have fun trying to keep it up Ian when we're just getting the bae a drink from your stash and doing our best to leave you unacknowledged like we're the deaf one] Janis: [at least we can be our usual charming selves then] Jimmy: [like we can't be rude enough he'll say you can't take the kids with you tomorrow hence we're just not saying anything because temptation to just tell him to fuck off always] Janis: [just some sly shade, easily done, also I hope you didn't come looking like a hoe 'cos assumptions that are lowkey a bit racial already being made without doing that] Jimmy: [we all know he isn't gonna like you no matter what gal, we'll get out of there as soon as we can honestly] Janis: [how dare you, but no, we would not want you to like us, we know your game hun] Jimmy: [it'll be fun af when we lowkey move you in and it's just 24/7 piss off Ian time] Jimmy: [but for now take the bottle and run lads] Janis: [soz that didn't work Cass but you know] Jimmy: [Jimothy needs this rn, soz you don't have your bf yet but you'll understand when you do] Janis: [you'll get your whole squad soon] Jimmy: [we'll all be living our best lives but for now we're just trying to survive the festive season so] Jimmy: [it makes me happy to know that Janis' arrival will have wound Twix up so you won't be able to just go back to sleep Ian] Janis: [go take that poor dog for a piss sir] Jimmy: [because we are not doing it, we're going upstairs good day] Janis: [buh-bye] Jimmy: [boy just downing however much drink was in his glass as he goes cos fml and also we've spent an age pretending we're not physically hurting which is not a mood either] Janis: [actually needed, so you can't say nothing Ian] Jimmy: [hopefully you left all your presents downstairs cos your room isn't very big and we don't need them everywhere] Janis: [and Bobby is in his bed, we gotta lay that boy down like get comfy] Jimmy: [the biggest sigh in the world, imagine] Janis: [copying him but laying down next to him carefully so we don't squash him] Jimmy: [going to write on her but we don't know what to say so we're just 👀] Janis: [doing an impression of nice Ian to try and make him lol Jimmy: [you know it's spot on but that just reminds him what a dick Ian is so we just shake our head like ffs but obvs not at you gal] Janis: [yeah, mistake to make hen but we don't know what to do, little horizontal feelsy lean like !!!] Jimmy: [we're doing it back even if it hurts because we don't care, the feelsy lean is sacred] Janis: ['he's such a twat' the reassurance he doesn't need but we're saying it so seriously] Jimmy: [can't help genuinely smiling because you know Ian is the kind of person who everyone thinks is just such a standard dad and we obvs didn't think the bae would fall for it but there's always gonna be a part of us thinking he's right and we're wrong so the relief] Janis: [we all know the kind, just parenting you, psh, but we smiling back 'cos love to see it] Jimmy: [😍 because she's cute and we're in love] Janis: [gotta kiss him soft] Jimmy: [take your excuse to be soft because we know you both like it] Janis: [a good excuse because we are not trying to injure you boy forreal, but the restraint is a killer lmao] Jimmy: [the perfect excuse for you to show her how good you are with your hands even if you don't remember/are pretending you don't remember that bit of the drunken christmas eve convo because you can keep your distance a lil bit more but still kill her] Janis: [enjoy trying not to die gal, 'cos whilst making Ian overhear you is funny, waking the kid is not so shh] Jimmy: [at least he's deaf so you've got less chance than if you were at mcvickers house and Libi was just like oh hey, speaking of the caravan when you're snowed in is gonna be hilarious casually no privacy ever] Janis: [that's true, how do you wake up a deaf person except for rudely shaking them like HELLO also how do they know when there's a fire/any other kind of alarm, questions I have but are not entirely relevant rn, won't make Cass hate us that much already lmao, 'cos honestly, need an ally in you when Skerries alone] Jimmy: [I've seen vibrating ones that they can like put under their pillow and shit which is slightly less rude than just being like OI but yeah, we can win Cass over during this unexpectedly longer trip than we thought we'd be on] Jimmy: [but for now have a drink and recover gal] Janis: [a good idea, ang would like that] Janis: [lowkey pouty like you can't immediately return the favour but you simply cannot soz] Jimmy: [doing the pouty lip bite thing won't help but we simply must nevertheless] Janis: ['that's illegal'] Jimmy: [a lil lol which we're pretending doesn't hurt because we're fine] Janis: [obviously we notice 'cos in what world aren't we 'should really bandage you up' and looking like do you have any in or do we need to get that tomorrow] Jimmy: [🤨 because it's such a foreign concept that anyone actually cares about us that we can't hide our genuine surprise/confusion and then we have to go look because we're like this is awkward how dare she care about me, let's say there is so you can chuck them at her] Janis: ['that's what you need to do' like he's just thinking it's bullshit advice, unravel some of that bandage after it's thrown at you 'it'll heal faster' and gesturing for him to take his top off 'can be a mummy for a bit, ghost boy'] Jimmy: [obvs gonna throw his top at her as well because always] Janis: [pretending it's so gross like ew] Jimmy: [equally as obvs then getting all up in her grill like if you thought that was gross you'll HATE this] Janis: [the pretence of being #horrified is so thinly veiled, but focus gal, gotta bandage him up as tightly as you can so it's more comfortable for him, the casual intimacy, bye, pretend we do not notice] Jimmy: [what a mcvickers-esque moment] Janis: [truly] Jimmy: [do a ✔ on her in the same place as the bandage is like okay job done and because you do feel better for it and most importantly just shamelessly wanna touch her bare skin whenever we can] Janis: [dramatically stop breathing for a sec 'yeah?'] Jimmy: [kiss her as dramatically to show her you can without it hurting as much as it did before] Janis: [can't even fake mad about it] Jimmy: [interrupt this makeout sesh for long enough to casually pour some of whatever this bottle is into her mouth because it's always a saucy mood and she has earned it by nursing you back to health] Janis: [too much of a mood frankly we're so about it, also nice throwback to literally last night what is time] Jimmy: [gonna have to let y'all hook up because this boy has no chill but just be really careful please] Janis: [just let him lead and you should be fine] Jimmy: [gotta be soft so that's a whole new mood in itself because you have not yet] Janis: [feeding him drink in the same manner after but that likewise feels really soft 'cos basically doing it like it's medicine at this point like you gotta, then removing whatever clothes you got left on to get in bed] Jimmy: [shameless snuggling will ensue because we will play tetris if needs be until we find a position that's comfortable for you both to be in] Janis: [drawing the ✔ on him when we're settled but also a ❓] Jimmy: [taking her hand and turning it into a 👍 and then giving it a lil thank you squeeze before adding his own ? to ask if she's alright too] Janis: [snuggling down as a response] Jimmy: [a happy sigh compared to the dramatic one earlier] Janis: ['Jimmy-' but stopping 'cos don't know what you think you're gonna say hen] Jimmy: [the softest 'what?' ever] Janis: [just looking and LOOKING for a hot sec 'merry christmas'] Jimmy: [obvs we're saying it back even though we know that's not what she was gonna say] Janis: [you better stop] Jimmy: [will draw 😁 on you is it a pisstake/ are we this buzzing that the bae is here and tomorrow we can leave/do we wanna just touch her always/is it all of these] Janis: [gonna say we got lost on that one so we're just like what are you talking about boy/tickled like oi] Jimmy: [doing it again more slowly and deliberately so it'll tickle more and she might get it so we don't have to do it with our face if she doesn't lol] Janis: [just loling like staph 'I'm either gonna fall out or fuck you up here' but not mad, obvs] Jimmy: [hold onto her so she can't fall out and that's ofc the only reason] Janis: [random but have we ever said whether the caravan is 2 or 3 bedrooms?] Jimmy: [I don't think we've ever specified but I assume it's on the bigger side because mcvickers own it and all the fam ever] Janis: [let's go with 3 then, a double and 2 singles, makes sense, usually have a way to make beds in the lounge too] Jimmy: [I'll try and remember that for all the other people and gens it affects lol] Janis: [write that down boo lol]

[izzy-b-hands]

Hey, I was wondering if you could do more sledgefu with the au where they adopted a baby, that fic was so cute!

Of course, and thank you sending this in!!! Tbh, I’ve been wanting to write some sort of continuance to that for awhile now, so this is the perfect opportunity!

Link to the fic mentioned, for those who may not have read it yet: https://aboutthatmelancholystorm.tumblr.com/post/188375810681/fictober-2019-oct-16th-listen-no-really

A quick note that I’m bringing all the pets over to this AU (cats: Gunner, Queen, Little Sid, Delilah, and Deacon; dog: Ack Ack) though there’s enough that I can never seem to mention them all by name! But this is just here for reference so if I mention all the animals being in one room, y’all know how many we’re talking lol, especially if I write more for this AU after this piece (and I think I just might have to plan for that!)

Also I jumped ahead a bit so this fic puts their lil guy at about a year or so (aka guess who had to google what one year olds are capable of? This guy!) This also brought back some great memories of helping teach my lil cousins stuff when they were just teensy, so that was cool (because now they’re old and their older cousin aka me is boring to them lol.) 

Baby Steps is below the cut! (even tho the cut doesn’t seem to want to work at this time, idk why, my apologies if it doesn’t work again, I’m working on figuring it out!)

“Armand, let Ack Ack go,” Snafu said. “You wanna walk, you gotta do it on your own. You been so close to it lately, too!” 

“You think that’s gonna inspire him?” Eugene smiled as Armand let go of Ack Ack’s fur and pouted while Ack Ack walked over to settle on the couch. “Think you just pissed him off.” 

Armand dropped onto his bottom and let out a huff of breath. “Pa!” 

“Oh yeah, you did,” Eugene laughed. “He’s right though, your papa. You got standin’ down pat, and you can walk holdin’ onto things real good, but eventually you’re gonna be taller than Ack Ack and he won’t be able to help you walk round here. What’re you gonna do then?” 

Another huff of breath and a little pouted lip left them both laughing. 

“You just gonna live there now, waitin’ till one of us picks you up?” Snafu snickered as he walked over to sit in the chair by Eugene’s. “You can walk to one of us, c’mon. Try for us.” 

Armand shook his head, his dark curls bouncing. 

“Now, we ain’t raised you to act like that! You gotta at least try once, then you can get carried again. But I want you to keep tryin’, least once a day,” Snafu said, and held up a finger. 

Armand mimicked him, then promptly stuck his finger in his mouth and huffed again. 

“How the hell is he this sassy already? I thought they didn’t get like this till they were teenagers?” Snafu said, a hand out gesturing to Armand. “He can’t even tell me to fuck off and go runnin’ out with his friends, and here he is, little master of sass ceremonies, grumpy as can be.” 

Eugene tried and failed to bite back his laughter. “I think he did tell you that, actually, just in his own way.” 

“Probably,” Snafu sighed and shook his head. “Gimme one good try, okay buddy?” 

Armand whined and shook his head again, slapping the hardwood floor with his hands. 

“I don’t know if it’s gonna happen right now,” Eugene said, and started to stand to go pick him up.

“No, let him try first! He’s pissed, yeah, but maybe he’s just angry enough, ya know?” 

Eugene sat back down and nodded. “Okay. So you think he’ll get so mad neither of us are comin’ to get him, that he’s just gonna up and walk all the way over?” 

“No, course not,” Snafu replied. “But I bet he’ll get mad enough to stand, and maybe take a good few first steps all on his own, then one of us can go pick him up and we celebrate his doin’ that.” 

“...I could see that,” Eugene said. “What do you think, lil man? Got it in ya?” 

Armand almost growled, a tiny little screech of frustration, and slapped the floor again. 

“I think you can do it,” Snafu said, and the whining quieted some. 

“I think you can too,” Eugene added. “All you gotta do is try. Stand up, and I bet you’ll do it.” 

Armand’s face was a mix of emotions, confusion and fear and frustration as he slowly used his hands to push himself to standing, unsteady enough that Eugene edged to the end of his seat as Snafu did the same, both ready to run over and catch him. 

“That’s my boy! Now get those feet movin’. Don’t gotta be fast, or make it all the way over here, we’ll get to that later,” Snafu said softly. “Just a few good steps.” 

Armand whined and let out the softest little sobs as he took one shaky step towards them, then another, before starting to wobble face-first towards the floor. 

But they were there in a flash, each holding onto him before he could hit the floor. 

“I told you! Didn’t I tell you? I did!” Snafu was ecstatic as he picked Armand up and kissed his cheek. “My boy! Gonna be runnin’ all over the place before you know it!” 

Armand’s smile was sweet to see, his giggling even better as he babbled happily.

“We told you,” Eugene smiled, and pressed a soft kiss to the back of Armand’s curls. “And it was fun, wasn’t it? You get better at it, and soon you’ll be raisin’ hell makin’ us chase after you every day.” 

“Yah,” Armand grinned, and they both laughed. 

“Alright, I said you’d be carried now, and I won’t break a promise to ya,” Snafu said, and started to walk back to his chair. 

But Armand kicked his little legs and fussed, and Snafu turned back to Eugene with a grin of his own. 

“You wanna try again? Maybe we can help you this time, hm?” 

That was their afternoon from there, taking turns letting Armand walk by holding onto their hands, staying close as he tried again and again to take a few shaky steps all on his own. He might not actually be running around like Flash any time soon, but he’d certainly get there, with practice like this. 

“The backache is worth it,” Snafu said later, as they put Armand down for the night. “Look at how tuckered out he is.” 

It was a good hour earlier than Armand usually went down, but all the walking and standing and stumbling seemed to have worn him right out. He didn’t wake even as Eugene put him into his crib in the corner of their room, only sighed as his head rested on the soft crib mattress. 

“He is, and so am I,” Eugene yawned. “Dunno how, but I am.” 

“Hard work, convincin’ a little man he can do whatever he sets his mind to,” Snafu murmured and put his hand around Eugene’s waist, his head resting on Eugene’s shoulder. “Plus, the bending over...” 

“Oh my god, the middle of my back is just...numb, it hurts so damn bad,” Eugene sighed in exasperation. “I mean I’ll do it all again in a heartbeat for him tomorrow if he wants, anything to help him get a better grasp on walkin’, but lord have mercy.” 

“I know,” Snafu replied. “Actually why I’m just stayin’ like this...can kinda lean, we can keep each other up.” 

“We gotta move now though,” Eugene said. “Gotta finish cleanin’ up the house before we can go to bed...” 

Snafu lifted his head and nodded. “Could do. Or, hear me out, we leave all those chores for the morning, finish the dishes and wipin’ down the counters and whatever else tomorrow, and for now we go to bed before our backs decide we aren’t allowed to stay upright anymore?” 

A cramp hit Eugene’s back and he groaned quietly, not wanting to wake the baby. “Okay, yeah, you’ve won me over. Very persuasive today, you are.” 

“Think the pain might be doin’ more persuadin’, but I’ll take the compliment,” Snafu smiled as he helped Eugene over to the bed. “You stay put, I’ll go make sure the lights are off downstairs, the furry kids are all settled in the guest room, and when I come back I’ll help you outta those clothes.” 

“Snaf, he might wake up...” 

“Not like that! I mean, unless you think you can stay up long enough for that, in which case, hell yeah. But I meant more because I could feel that cramp in your back, and I know your ass can’t get undressed without help right now,” Snafu smirked. 

Eugene just laughed as Snafu walked out of the room, and he let himself flop back on their bed while he waited for Snafu to return. It was quiet now, just the sound of Armand’s soft breathing and his own muffled mutters of pain as his back twinged. 

He’d never trade anything for it though, the moment or his life as it was now, despite the pains big and small that he’d gone through to get there. It was perfect and unique and utterly his and Snafu’s and Armand’s, and that was exactly how he liked it. 

#text post #LeeH writes #Sledgefu #ask box things #this is a bit shorter than I was intending when I started #but I hope you still like it! #I'll have to make up for it and write some more snippets of this AU in the future! #funky-little-twinket

[my-whumpy-little-heart]

💥 and 🍅 for Floyd and 🔮 and ❤️ for percival (it it’s not too many anyway ahdjdjdk)

Thanks Allen :DD Never too many questions my dude

💥 Are there any emotions your OC doesn’t know how to deal with, doesn’t understand or hates having to feel? Any reason behind this? (For Floyd)

Ooh I think a lot of emotions are hard for Floyd. The only emotions he really feels comfortable with are Being Nice To People and Vague Sadness That’s Always Kinda Stirring Since He Has Unresolved Emotions He Doesn’t Feel Like Dealing With. See, he never really learned How to emotion very well. His childhood was spend in the lower class and working from the earliest age he could. Which, considering this setting is akin to the 1800′s, was probably around the ages of 8 or 9. 

But before I spill his entire life story, yes Floyd had a bit of a hard time and from that has learned the very healthy skill of not wanting to show or deal with his deeper emotions. Feeling too happy in general can make him uneasy, waiting for someone to come around and tell him to knock it off, because a smile must mean he’s been causing mischief and that’s a punishable offense.

Feeling a lot of strong emotions could have impeded him from survival so he doesn’t really like that. Even something like fear, which he felt so so often, stirs those old memories and instincts inside of him. So yeah you can see how that’s working out for him in the main story at the moment lol. (thinks about how i need to write more of that. thinks about all the ideas i’ve got written down. pokes motivation. motivation wibble wobbles and says nothing. i will beat it up later)

🍅 How easily is your OC embarrassed? What subjects make them flush and why? What event has made your OC the most embarrassed they’ve ever been? (Also for Floyd)

Damn, really coming for Floyd’s emotions and insecurities today. Alrighty, well, Floyd gets really embarrassed when he makes a mistake. It’s always been a bit of a thing for him. Just ingrained really, but it’s gotten worse as he’s been mocked or punished for mistakes throughout his life. 

If it’s a particular subject, that’s probably any sort of confrontation. He’s very good at immediately assuming the worst, and will probably flush in a one on one conversation if he gets uncomfortable. The one exception to this is talking with Ray because Floyd trusts him the most and has had a lot of harder conversations with him which he’s handled very well. This buildup of trust has led them to form the close bond they share now. Even so, Floyd still doesn’t like to discuss the more personal topics, it’s just easier now with Ray than anyone else.

Oh, and the most embarrassed he’s ever been... That’s probably gotta be some of the first days Floyd was on the pirate ship. Being found out as a stowaway hiding in their kitchen really wasn’t ideal for him, and sharing a bit about his general life situation to Ray made the man so intensely empathetic that Floyd nearly misinterpreted it as looking down on him even though that’s not what he meant at all. So yeah that adjustment and everything came with a lot of embarrassment.

🔮 What does your OC think is their best trait. What is actually their best trait? What about their flaws? Are they one to admit these flaws or do they like to pretend they’re perfect? (For Percival)

OOooh hm. I think Percival is definitely proud of his swordplay skills and that’s something he values a lot. Which, well, it’s definitely subjective there as to whether or not they’re actually his best trait. Yes, he can hold his own in a fight, but that’s often due to some level of cheating with his magic. Whether surprising an enemy by attacking after having been invisible or avoiding blows by phasing them through him (have I mentioned that power? was that gonna be a secret? yeah part of the invisibility thing is sorta transparency as well, being able to phase through objects or phase objects he’s in contact with through something and wow thinking about that more just gave me a whump idea oh yes. Anyywayyy). So in a level playing field sort of battle where he couldn’t use magic he’d be fairly decent, but yeah his sort of cheating definitely plays a part in his confidence there.

If he had another best trait, it probably would be incredible control over his magical powers. He may not feel like it, but he’s been honing them for a long time and even started developing them at a younger age than most who have magic in this universe. His powers kicked in and saved his life a few times when he was a kid, but he often didn’t notice at the time. So long story short yes he’s very skilled with magic and doesn’t quite realize just how difficult it takes to get to his level of power and control (hehehee and that certainly doesn’t make things easier for Floyd ;D)

Oh and flaws. Wow this is getting long. Well, he’s a fucking narcissist to start. So he isn’t gonna be admitting to any of these flaws anytime soon. But he’s a fairly horrendous leader, not ever doing much to participate with or assist his crew. Though he does care for and respect them more than it may seem, he isn’t much for teamwork and prefers to watch on and do nothing. People flock to work for him because of his status and reputation, not because of his kindness.

❤️ What inspired you to make this OC? How long have you had them? How have they changed in the time you’ve been developing them? (Also for Percival)

Aha, well. I had this crew of really nice pirates going out and being super cool and awesome. And I’m sitting here like: hm I need a reason to hurt this one boy though. Brain said “alright it’s Evil Pirate Time” and I was like yes absolutely I would like that. So Percival came into being. His appearance has changed at least five times in my mind except for his eye color and height (wait that may have changed too oh man who even knows at this point). I knew nearly nothing about his personality or backstory when I started writing him and I just had to kinda go along with it. I’m out of touch with him rn and that hasn’t been making my life with the story easy, but he’s always been pretty spontaneous for me.

So yeah that whole thing happened back in November, so nearly 7 or 8 months now (oh my god it’s been so long that’S WILD WHAT EVEN) and he’s been hanging around being mean and stuff ever since.

#that got. so very long. i'm so sorry #that was a lot #brain thinks too much for ask games omg XDD #would you believe me if i said I didn't know what any of these answers were gonna be when i read the questions #because i wouldn't believe me that's for sure. #Benedict Floyd #Percival

[babbushka]

Blue Moon (3/?)

New York, 1987. The air was filled with smog and the streets were ridden with crime. Just another day in paradise. Your quiet life turns upside down when a striking man moves in across from you. You’re falling, fast, into a love that could never, ever, happen…or could it?

Pale x Reader (Can also be interpreted as modern!kylo for those who don’t know Burn This!)

Hello friends this chapter is so so long, I hope it hold you all over for the week until I can post again. 

This chapter (and all the other chapters that have come before and will come after) is dedicated to the one and only @adamsnackdriver who even though she says otherwise is absolutely instrumental to this monument of filth! Please go follow her if you haven’t already, her blog is an absolute gold mine!!

Minor character spoilers for Pale!

Word Count: 8200 (I’m sorry lol)

Warnings: Mild angst, minor violence, sm*t, language, drug use

Chapter 3: Chains

It went like that for days. He got off work, he found you, he fucked you, he left. It was easier that way, wasn’t it? It had to be. He was busy, you were busy, he couldn’t stay. This wasn’t romantic, this wasn’t tender, you were a good place to relieve some tension, that’s all.

He had been relieving his tension a lot, but that was nobody’s fucking business. He went to work, he got high, he blasted through the fucking day, and then he came to your door. You either opened the door or you weren’t home yet, but you always opened. Always let him in, never kicked him out when he broke in if you weren’t there. He was spending more and more time at your place, your shitty apartment just one street away, how’d the universe fucking figure that? He never stayed. You always let him in, and he always left.

He was on his way to you now, just got off work too fucking late, so late it was early. So late that the sun was already coming up over the fucking skyline and the 9-to-5 schmucks were already polluting the fucking streets. You were probably asleep he figured, you had the day off so why shouldn’t you be asleep? What was better than getting fucked first thing in the morning, nothing, right?

He parked his fucking car behind his apartment building and walked over to yours, jaywalked and yelled at the fucking cars who had the nerve to keep driving. What the fuck ever happened to pedestrians had the right of way?

He managed to catch the door to the stairwell just as the mail-man was heading in. That was lucky, he’d been getting lucky lately, getting into the stairwell. Sometimes he had to climb the fucking fire escape just to get in.

“Hey!” He called, and the man stopped. “You got any mail for 5C?” He asked. His pulse spiked when the mailman nodded.

“Yeah, a couple things.” He said, rifling through his bag.

“I’m headin’ up that way now, been waitin’ on a real important fucking letter.” He lied. He wanted to know your name, desperately, wanted to have something to shout out when he fucked his hand when you weren’t home. “You ever look through people’s mail? I would, all the fuckin’ time if I were a mail-man. Bet you’d see some pretty juicy fuckin’ stuff. You know my uncle used to be a postal worker, he dealt with shipping and handling, I know the hours fucking suck – hey do you happen to know – ” Pale said around his cigarette, only shutting up when the mail-man shoved a pile of letters into his chest.

“Here you go pal, I got a long route.” The man said, making Pale frown.

“Well fuck me, sorry for trying to make some fucking conversation.” He scoffed, but deciding it wasn’t worth it, not with you right upstairs.

(Y/N). There it was, printed right on the fucking envelope. A little bent and had some water damage, thanks to the fucking post office, but there it was. He had been trying to figure out your fucking name for weeks, you being the smart-ass you were not telling him. It was driving him fucking off the walls not knowing your name, but he finally fucking had it in his hands.

(Y/N). Right in black ink.

Past Due. Stamped in red ink next to it.

“What the fuck?” He frowned, not giving a shit and tearing open the envelope right in the middle of the fucking stairwell.

They had shut off your heat, those fucking bastards. He was going to make them fucking regret that – he got all wound up until he saw that you had missed the deadline by almost three fucking weeks. No wonder it was freezing all the fucking time in your apartment, he thought.

It wasn’t even that much, he had more than your bill was in his fucking pocket.

He went back down the stairs to the little deli. Marty was there, and he wasn’t too fucking happy to see Pale, but he never was. Who gave a shit? He had to fix your fucking bill before they shut the water off too, which they were fucking fixing to do if they didn’t get their money by Sunday. Jesus, he thought, it was like the fucking mob, these damn utilities.

“You got a pen?” Pale asked.

“Fresh out.” Marty sniffed.

Big fucking mistake, Pale thought.

He grabbed Marty by the front of his shitty apron, pulled him flush to the fucking glass counter, and plucked the clearly visible pen from right out of his apron pocket, and let him go. Marty was rearing up to swing a fucking fist at him, when the bell to the door opened, and a hungry customer walked up to the counter asking for a half dozen bagels with lox.

Pale used the distraction to fill out the fucking form and return envelope the utilities people sent you, slapped the pen on the top of the counter and went back outside. He unrolled crisp hundred dollar bills, enough to pay off the next couple months.

It was about to get real fucking cold here, with the holidays coming up soon. The weather man on the radio said snow should show up in the next day or two, he didn’t need you fucking dying from exposure in your own fucking apartment.

He licked the envelope and shut it, shoved it in the blue public mailbox on the side of the road, and made his way back up your fucking stairs. He was angry, hands clenched into fucking fists as he climbed up the stairs two at a time. His mind started spiraling, thinking of all the bad fucking things that could happen – no heat, no water, no electric, what the fuck were you thinking?

He jostled your fucking lock and barged into your apartment, pissed off. Even more so because you were standing in your fucking kitchen, in nothing but your fucking panties, looking like a god damned angel, making some breakfast. 

Like you didn’t know you were in trouble.  

“Morning.” You smiled at him, all bright and lit from the sun, but he wasn’t fucking having it, he put your mail on the table with a little more force than was probably fucking necessary.

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me you were behind on your fucking bills?” He didn’t bother saying hello, he was too mad.

Your smile fell, you turned away to look at the pan on the stove. You knew you were in trouble now.

“It was just the one. I was going to handle it.” You said.

“You were going to handle it? When the fuck were you gonna handle it, huh? That ain’t fucking good enough doll, you can’t go doing shit like that. You know how people get sick? You see them fucking folks dying out there? It’s because they do shit like this, you can’t go fucking doing this shit.” Pale started pacing the kitchen, running a hand through his hair and punctuating the air with the other.

“Don’t yell at me.” You immediately got defensive, and that made Pale more pissed off.

“I’m not yelling! I’m not fucking yelling, okay?” He yelled, taking a deep breath and trying but failing to calm the fuck down, “If you got a problem, you tell me about it. That’s what the fuck I do, okay? I solve fucking problems. Cook doesn’t show up, I’m the fucking cook. Shipment don’t get delivered? I gotta fucking go pick shit up. I got twenty fucking years of solving problems, next time you fucking tell me. Don’t go not telling me bullshit like this!”

His voice got louder and louder, until he realized he was shaking. He realized you were shaking too. Regret burned in his throat like acid.

“Pale – please I don’t – I – ” You hiccupped, and in a fucking instant he was trying to make himself not the least fucking bit threatening as he went to you, felt like he was having a heart attack with the way your eyebrows pinched and your fucking chin wobbled and the way he saw wetness in your pretty fucking eyes.

“Oh shit, wait – no,” He said, real quiet, burning burning burning, “Fuck, no, come here. Don’t cry, okay? Come here.” He wrapped you up in his arms, and you tucked your face into his chest.

“I was gonna – ” Your voice cracked, but he just tilted your head up and kissed you real long, real gentle, trying to apologize.

He kissed you slow, calming you down and him down at the same time. He licked against your mouth, but then pulled back and pressed a couple chaste kisses to your lips too, holding you tight.

“Shh, don’t.” He said soft, “I didn’t mean to yell, I just gotta make sure you’re fucking taken care of, okay?”

“Okay.” You nodded, your eyes searching his.

“Lemme kiss you, huh? Gotta warm you up, you’re freezing.” He said, and you nodded, tilted your head up to kiss him some more. He dusted a few stray droplets off of your cheek, kissed the corners of your eyes. “No tears, okay?”

“Okay.” You sniffled. You shifted closer to him, rubbing yourself all over his clothes, sighing at how the fabric felt against you. Pale could feel your hard fucking nipples through the cotton of his shirt – his mouth watered.

“I was hoping you’d come by, I was making breakfast for us.” You gestured to the pan that had apparently just finished heating up some butter.

“I can’t fucking believe I’m saying this but go put a fuckin’ robe on. It’s cold.” He kissed you one more time before letting you go, “I’ll finish breakfast.”

“I was making pancakes.” You said with a smile, walking into your bedroom.

Pale surveyed the situation, what kinda fucking pancake recipe was this, he thought, raiding your cabinets and fridge – that was another fucking thing he was gonna have to deal with at some point, getting you to have more than just one shelf on the fridge filled. He wasn’t gonna bring it up.

“What the fuck is that?” He asked when you came back, flipping flapjacks like no fucking problem.

“It’s my robe.” You said, posing with a goofy grin, tears all gone. You were trying to be sultry like some girl in a fucking magazine.

“No it ain’t.” Pale shook his head, couldn’t help but fuckin smile at you, you looked so wrong in something that ratty. It was once a bathrobe in a previous fucking life, but it was discolored and worn out, too many washes.

“Well unless you stashed a different one in my closet then yeah it is.” You pointed out, making him lick his teeth.

He had hidden a bunch of shit in your apartment, guess you were going looking for it then huh? He would have to take you up on that and go out and get you something you should be wearing, something soft and warm.

“Eat your fucking pancakes.” He said, and you did.

He ate you out after you finished, while the pan was soaking in the sink. He fucked you after that, made you cry for a whole different fucking reason, and then he went across the fucking street to pass out. You told him he could stay, but he knew he couldn’t, he shouldn’t. So he didn’t.

He missed you.

He was gonna find you when he got off work, take you out to a nice fucking dinner. He wanted to give you something, the little something that had been burnin a hole in his fucking pocket for a week now. Wanted to push you up against the wall and make you come for dessert. God knows he fucking deserved it. Everything and everyone was pissing him the fuck off.

Fucking phone kept blowing up, he wanted to yank the power cord outta the fucking wall. How many fucking times did he gotta yell at these people before they figured out how to do their fuckin’ jobs? He was stressed, he was aggravated, he was –

“Pale, someone here to see you.” Joey, one of the busboys stuck his head in the door.

“I don’t fuckin’ want to see anyone.” Pale frowned, didn’t these fucking losers know he was busy?

“What, so you can show up at my job but I can’t bother you at yours?” You asked, making his eyebrows shoot up as you walked into the office.

“You gotta be kiddin’ me.” He whistled.

You looked good, wearing that shitty coat and those scuffed heels and your hair all done up.

Apparently that wasn’t the fuckin’ reaction you were hoping for, and you scowled at him. What, was he supposed to be some kind of mind reader?

“I can go if you really don’t want me.” You said, already ready to get defensive.

“Get the fuck over here.” He shook his head, beckoning you with a hand. You immediately went to his lap, like it was your favorite fuckin’ place to be. “What? You wanna get fucked in my office? That it? Slut.”

“Uh huh.” You said with a smile, already kissing at him, rubbing your cold nose against his cheek.

“Go and lock the door.” Pale said, smacking your ass when you shimmied off his lap and clicked the lock.

You hesitated by the door for a minute, like you were waitin’ for something, and Pale was just about to ask what when you untied the thick leather belt and popped open the big metal buttons that held it together.

It had only slid down a couple of inches before Pale figured out you were almost naked under there, and was outta his seat in a heartbeat.

“Jesus, you really are a slut, ain’t ya?” He said, crowding you against the door.

He was blindingly hard, his cock begging him to get in you, once he saw the scraps of black lace you figured counted as lingerie.

“Let me warm you up, huh?” Pale said, licking his lips as the coat fell in a pool of fabric on the floor.

You were standing there, tits out, only wearing some lacy black panties and stockings held up by garters. God what a set of legs you had, he thought.

You whined into his mouth when he manhandled you, picked you up and sat your ass over on his desk that had piles and piles of fucking papers all over it, pushed your knees apart. He felt like he couldn’t get his cock out fast enough.

“Pale, please, fuck me.” You ran your hands over his shoulders, was pulling him to lean over you, was kissing his cheek, his neck.

He couldn’t say no to that.

He pulled your underwear down off your legs, stuffed it in your mouth.

“You gotta be quiet you whore, alright?” He said lowly, dangerously. “Can’t have folks out there enjoying their lunch hear a slut get fucked, alright?”

“Mmhm.” You hummed, muffled by the lacy. Filthy girl, he thought, adrenaline spiking.

He rubbed his cock at your slit for a minute, savoring the feeling of it like some of those cocksuckers out there might be savoring their hundred dollar bottle of fucking wine, before shoving his way into you. He always liked the surprised face you made whenever he first thrust into you, like you had never felt like that before. He could almost get drunk on that fucking face.

“We gotta make this fast, okay?” He couldn’t take his time with you the way he wanted, not with people knocking on his fucking door every twenty minutes at this fucking place. But twenty minutes was enough to get you off if he did his job right, and fuck if he wasn’t gonna deliver.

You bit down on your own underwear and nodded, nipples hard, so fucking hard. Pale sucked one into his mouth, bent you back far enough on the desk that he could reach without having to stop the rhythm of his hips. The desk creaked under the two of yous, iron legs scraping against the floor bit by bit as his hips smacked yours.

You were makin’ all sorts of pretty fucking sounds, sounds that made him sweat. He was wearing all his clothes, they were gonna smell like sex after he was done with you. He never wanted to wash them.

He licked his teeth, pushed you flat against the desk, pulled one of your legs over his shoulder, drove into you hard and rough. He shoulda bound your wrists, but you were doing a good job keeping them above your head, gripping the edge of the desk.

He thrust over your g-spot, that made you arch up a little. He licked his lips, did it again. He was gonna say something stupid, something like how good you looked, how pretty your lips were, how he wanted to spit into your mouth and make you swallow it. He bit on your other nipple instead, thrust against you and rubbed at your clit.

You said something that sounded like his name, and you were clenching down on him, making him come.

“Fuck, shit – ” He fucked you through his orgasm, making sure you got off too, fucked you hard and rubbed your clit and sucked on your nipple until you threw your head back and came.

He tugged the panties out of your mouth, stuffed them in his pocket. He was breathing hard, you wiped the sweat from his forehead and rubbed it all over your chest. Pale was still pushing his come into you, he could feel it, feel the way it was throbbing into your cunt. You were breathing real hard too.

You didn’t seem to mind, looked all too comfortable on his shitty desk in his crappy office, lookin like the cat that got the cream, even though he was the one who did all the hard fucking work. You just had to lay back and take it, seedy princess. You took it well, he had to fuckin’ admit.

He pulled out of you, watched his come ooze out of you. He pushed it back in, fucked his fingers into you until you were squirming from it being too much, and then he did it some more. You smiled.

He stepped away from you just enough so that you could get off the desk.

“Hey I was thinkin,” Pale said, something in his chest beatin like nervousness. You had slipped between his legs, licking up the last bits of come, cleaning him off. He detangled his fingers from your hair, tucked it back behind your ears. “If you ain’t busy, the two of us go out to dinner tonight.”

You sat back, wiped your mouth with your hand, looked up at him through your lashes. He tucked his cock back into his trousers before he could think about fucking you again.

“Where’re we goin?” You asked with an easy breezy smile, as if you weren’t just biting down on your own underwear to muffle your cries.

“You like steak?” He asked, mind already running through the best fucking places in New York to take you.

“I like steakhouses.” You said, and he didn’t know what the fuck that meant, but he nodded.

“Then we’ll go to a steakhouse.” He decided, and you smiled, looked around for your coat. He watched you cover up those perfect fucking tits, it made his mood sour. He wanted to get one last good look at you. “Take the subway into Manhattan, then to Brooklyn. You take the subway a lot?” He asked.

“Not really.” You shrugged.

“Don’t go expectin’ nothing fuckin’ fancy.” He said, right when the phone rang. “Get outta here, I’ll come get you after I get off work.” Pale sat back in his chair, picked up the phone and started talking. “Yeah – what the fuck do you need now?...”

You nodded with a smile, leaned over to kiss him. He pinched at your nipple, covered the receiver of the phone with his other hand.

“Don’t go getting into any trouble.” He said, and you nodded.

It was gonna be a long fucking rest of his day, he thought, watching you walk away like that.

Pale didn’t bother waiting for you to answer the door, he had a schedule to keep and he’d be damned if he didn’t make it. He shook the door handle enough that the lock popped open – that made him frown, how the fuck was anyone supposed to stay safe in this building? – and let himself in.

“Train’s in twenty minutes.” He announced himself.

“You could say hello.” You said with a smile, walking into the living room from the bedroom. You were dressed up real pretty, Pale thought, you looked like a million bucks. Well, maybe closer to a hundred bucks, but it was still nice. Better than that fucking apron and hat you always wore at the fuckin diner.

Pale had you naked so often he almost forgot how good you looked all covered up. Not that anything beat the fucking way you looked all blissed out in bed.

“Hello.” He said dryly, took his finger and tapped his lips.

You smiled, stood on your tiptoes to give him a kiss. He wound an arm around you, groped at your ass and gave it a light pat before handing you the fuckin bouquet of lilies.

“You brought me flowers.” You said, surprised.

“Yeah go put them in a fuckin’ vase somewhere. It’ll liven up the place a little.” Pale sniffed, god your apartment sucked.

“What, you don’t like exposed walls and absolute lack of flooring?” You joked, going to the kitchen and pulling out a big glass cup.

You stuck the flowers in there, filled up the cup with water. Didn’t you have a fucking vase? You had to be kidding him.

“It was getting too fuckin’ depressing fucking you here.” He shrugged, stuffing his hands in his jacket pocket. He tried real hard not to say anything about the glass, about the flowers, about anything. He just wanted to take you out to dinner and fuck your brains out.

“You could fuck me at your apartment if it bothers you too much.” You pointed out, and he almost wanted to laugh. Almost.

He did roll his eyes, and you smiled, knowing that was probably as close as you were gonna fuckin get.

“Don’t be a smart-ass.” He said, pulling you to him, kissing you deep. He liked the way his hand was so fucking big on your face, he liked the way you kissed at his palm, licked at it. “You look real nice.”

“Yeah?” You asked, sounding nervous.

“Yeah.” He said, tugging at your sleeve. “I ain’t seen you wear this little number yet.”

“I’ve been saving it.” You tucked some hair behind your ear, smiled at him.

“For what?” He asked.

“An occasion.” You shrugged. That was fucking stupid he thought, and said as much.

“You don’t need an occasion to look good.” He said, “Look at me, I run around all fucking day, spend most of my fuckin time in the office or in my car going somewhere, looking for fucking parking in this sewer of a city. I don’t got no fancy fuckin people I’m meeting, but I still like to look good. These are snake-skin boots, almost three hundred fucking dollars they cost me. You don’t need a fuckin’ occasion, sometimes it’s good to just look good. You look good.”

He was getting worked up, fuck why did you always fucking do this to him?

“I was hoping you’d like it.” You grinned, and he shook his head – you knew what you did to him, you fucking menace. That’s what you were, a menace.

“You did good.” He kissed you one more time, real hard, hand still on your face, “Let’s go, we’re gonna be late and they fucking hate it when people are late to their reservations.”

 Pale walked with his arm around you to the train station, held you close. He didn’t like the way some of the fucking guys on the street looked at you when he watched you from his apartment – didn’t like the way he could practically fucking hear what they were thinking. So he held you close, a warning to anyone who saw that you weren’t up for grabs, unless it was his fuckin hands.

You didn’t say anything about how gross the subway was, Pale liked that. He liked a girl who didn’t give a shit about shit like that. There was graffiti all over the fuckin place, so much that Pale couldn’t even read any of it, what a fucking waste of paint, he thought.

There was trash in the whole car, broken glass and old newspapers that had gotten wet with something and dried all crusty. He didn’t want you sitting in any of that shit, not looking so good.

“Sit on my lap.” Pale said, finding a clean seat and tugging you down onto him. “You’ll get your skirt all dirty.”

“We’re all alone.” You said, coy.

“Yup. Will be for half a fuckin hour, looks like.” He tipped your chin up, slid his tongue along yours.

He liked the way it felt when you slipped your arms around his shoulders, he tightened his grip on your thighs, dug his fingers right into the bruises that he knew where there, the bruises he fucking put there himself.

“Yeah?” You sighed into his mouth.

“Yeah there’s no fuckin’ stop until ours.” He didn’t bother looking outside the subway windows, you were in the tunnels now, and it was dark anyway. The shitty broken lights flickered in the subway car. You kept kissing him.

“I’m starting to think you just like keeping me close.” You said, teasing. The biggest fucking understatement of the century. He didn’t know what the fuck was happening to him, how he let you get under his skin like this, the way you had.

“Gold fuckin’ sticker sweetheart.” He grumbled, sneering at you when you started smiling all triumphant. “Don’t go fucking looking at me like that, keepin’ you close is the easiest way to get my hands on you, get you ready for me. I don’t like to wait, you know.”

“I know.” You smiled.

“Why don’t you be a good girl and ride me, huh?” He asked, sneaking a hand in between your thighs. God he was so fucking thrilled to find you already wet, always so fucking eager for him. He owned this pussy, whether you knew it or not this was his to fuck whenever he wanted, and shit if he didn’t want to fuck it now.

“Okay.” You nodded, shifted around a little.

You held onto the silver handrail pole while you balanced on your knees as Pale got his dick out of his jeans. He reached under your skirt again, tugged aside your panties – lingerie again, he was pleased as all fuck to find – and slid in.

It was rough and bumpy, being on the fucking train. Any time the god damned subway made a turn, you were falling into him, losing your fucking balance. You were lucky you had him to hold you still, Pale thought, as he thrust up into you.

“Pale!” You moaned loud for him, the sound almost getting swallowed by the rushing noise of the subway in the tunnels.

“That’s it sweetheart.” He licked his lips, leaned back in the hard metal seat and watched you go to work.

He wanted to tear your fucking clothes off, wanted your tits in his face. He settled for letting one hand wander up to grab at your chest, grunting and groaning as you worked your hips over him.

“My good little whore.” He couldn’t help but give you praise, especially when your cunt was so good and hot and wet for him. He shoved a couple fingers in your mouth, you sucked on them right away, laved your tongue over them, over his wedding ring. His stomach tensed at that. “Dirty.”

“Good?” You asked, and he gripped your jaw, clicked his teeth against yours.

“You know it fucking is, slut.” He growled, making you smile against his hand.

Attention all passengers, the next stop is... The PA voice over the intercom sounded. You moaned loud, Pale almost didn’t hear what the fuck she said, Estimated time of arrival, fifteen minutes.

“You fuckin’ hear that princess? You got fifteen minutes to make me come before we get off this fucking subway car.” Pale grabbed a fistful of your beautiful fucking hair and pushed your head down closer to his, so he could kiss at your neck and suck marks into your throat.

You nodded, whining against him. Your hands were braced against his chest, fisting at his shirt. It was gonna wrinkle the fucking fabric and he was gonna have to iron the fucking thing but it was worth it to feel you lick at the pulsing vein in his neck.

He couldn’t help but fuck up into you, couldn’t help but hold your hip and your hair and grind his cock hard into you, not with the fucking way you looked, sounded, felt. It was enough to make a guy go crazy, he thought, the smell of your fucking perfume filling his nose as he breathed hard and fast.

The subway jostled and bottles clanked as they rolled around on the floor, but you were moaning and panting and your thighs were squeezing his tight and your cunt was hot and he couldn’t help but fucking think it was magic that made you look like that, in the flickering fucking lights.

He shoulda had you blow him instead, wouldn’t have gotten him this worked up. He didn’t know how he was gonna sit through a fucking dinner with you, not looking like that.

You moved your hips in these tiny fucking circles that had Pale clenching his jaw it felt so fucking good, he wanted to kill whoever you had to practice on, didn’t want anyone to ever get to feel this good from you again. No one else ever let him fuck them like this, he didn’t want to fuck anyone else like this.

You were kissing him, god he felt like he couldn’t get enough to breathe with how much you were kissing him, how much he was kissing you back, all hard bites and sloppy.

“Come in me,” You told him, and his brain tripped up.

“Jesus.” He bit down on your shoulder and came.

Slowly he released the tension in his fist in your hair, had a hard time opening his fucking fist he had held it so tight. You were approaching the station, the lights flickering faster and faster. People were standing waiting on the platform as the subway zipped past – but it was slowly starting to come to a stop.

“You did good.” He pinched at your cheek. You didn’t look too thrilled. “What?” He asked, lifting your hips enough to slide out of you, tuck himself into his pants. He’d clean up once he got your ass to the restaurant.

“I didn’t get to come.” You pouted, and oh no, no fucking way was he indulging you in that one, not right now. He was entirely too susceptible to your charms and you were dangerously close to missing the fucking reservation as it was. He’d fuck you after.

“We’ll have a nice fucking dinner and then I’ll blow your fucking back out, how’s that sound?” Pale kissed you, kissed you and kissed you a-fucking-gain until you were smiling against his lips, squirming in his lap. “Hm?”

“Promise?” You asked, standing up when the subway brakes screeched to a harsh stop.

“No fuckin’ promises.” Pale said, a possessive hand on the small of your back that made you smile again.

The two of you walked off onto the platform at the station. Pale smirked, smug as all hell, all the fucking strangers walking onto the subway were none the wiser.

The restaurant was nice, the nicest in Brooklyn, and one of the oldest too. He knew the guys who worked there, being in the business. He knew the guys in the business too, that worked in the restaurant. It was all the fucking same, he thought. He walked with you right up to the host and didn’t even have to give his fucking name, that’s how friendly he was with this place.

“Pale this is too much.” You whispered, hanging off his arm like the best piece of fucking candy there ever was.

“What do you mean?” He asked as the two of you followed the host. He seated you in a real secluded section of the restaurant. Pale slipped him a hundred bucks, no one would be sitting anywhere near you for the night.

“I mean I can feel your come sliding down my thigh and I’m pretty sure that glass of champagne cost more than this whole outfit.” You said, self-conscious.

“Just relax would ya? We’re gonna have a real nice time.” He kissed your cheek, let you pick which side of the booth you wanted to sit on.

“Sit next to me?” You asked when he made a move to step around the table.

He looked at you for a second, at your earnest fucking eyes and slid into the booth next to you, pulling you real close to him. You smiled real wide. It made him want to burn down half the fucking city – in a good way. Was there a good way for that?

He stretched an arm around your shoulders, was pointing out all the interesting fucking things he could think about the steakhouse. You laughed at his jokes and made some back, he thought you were fucking funny when you weren’t being such a brat.

“Good evening, what’ll it be?” The waiter asked, appearing out of nowhere.

Pale didn’t even bother asking you what you wanted, just ordered for you anyway. Ordered the wine, ordered the appetizer, the dinner, and dessert. He had other plans for dessert, but he wanted you to have the full fucking experience.

He didn’t take his hands off you the whole fucking time, didn’t even bother to open up the menu, just wanted to keep his hands on your shoulder, on your thigh.

He didn’t take it off when the food showed up either, delicious and sizzling hot. Didn’t bother to give the finger to the fucking waiter who shot him dirty looks as Pale groped at you while he poured the wine.  

“What do you like to do for fun?” Pale asked, suddenly desperately curious.

“Fun?” You asked with a raised eyebrow. “I don’t know, I don’t really get much time for fun, outside of being with you.” You shrugged.

“You have fun when you’re with me?” Pale asked, shocked. That was probably the first fucking time anyone had ever said something like that to him.

“Yeah, you make me laugh, I like spending time with you.” You said, again with that fucking honesty.

Pale didn’t know what to do with that, didn’t know what to say to that.

“You like it?” Pale asked instead, as you were happily chewing your dinner. You washed it down with a sip of wine, and smiled.

“Yeah, it’s really good.” You nodded, dabbing your lips with a napkin. He wanted to kiss you.

“I thought you would. That’s my fucking recipe by the way, gave it to the chef something like five fucking years ago, it’s the most popular fucking dish here. I should be collecting royalty checks or something. I wanted you to enjoy tonight, you know? You deserve to enjoy things, you work hard too. It’s a fuckin’ shame you don’t get paid good. You know what I think? I think it’s fuckin funny we work in the same ‘biz. Go fucking figure.” Pale said, taking a sip of wine himself.

“I have something for you. Before you go getting all fucking lovey-dovey eyes on me, it’s a practical fucking gift. It ain’t a grand fucking gesture or nothing like that, I just want you to have it. If you want it. You don’t have to fucking want it if you don’t want it, but – Just go ahead and open it.” He fished the long rectangular box out of his inside jacket pocket, handed it to you without any ceremony.

You hesitantly opened it up, covered your mouth when you saw the way it glittered.

“It’s beautiful.” You held up the gold chain, almost pure fucking gold, the same kind of chain that Pale wore.

“I was in the fucking city at three o’clock in the fucking morning if you can believe that, and all the fucking shops are getting ready for the holidays. Christmas is such a bullshit holiday, you ask me. People buying shit to just buy shit. Anyway so I go into the fucking city at three o’clock in the morning and I see all these fucking windows of all these stores and I think to myself, why the hell not, buy something nice for someone. And I think, who the fuck am I gonna buy anything for? I send my kids shit, whatever they want, whenever they fucking want it, they call me up and I ask and I send it and that’s it. You don’t ever fucking ask for anything, you know that? And you don’t got a lot of nice shit. People get real judgy over people who don’t have nice shit, I didn’t want you getting judged. You’re not a two-bit whore or nothing – you like it?” He asked, taking another sip of wine.

“I love it, put it on me?” You asked him, looking up with those lovey-dovey fucking eyes anyway. Didn’t he just fucking tell you it wasn’t no grand fuckin gesture?

“If you put that on, you can’t go takin it off.” He said, something fierce and possessive deep in his belly, he stared at you, watching you when he asked, “Got that?”

You got it, he could tell you got it from the way you smiled at him, handed him the chain, turned around and held your hair off your neck.

He willed his hands not to shake as he clasped the chain around your neck, felt something in his chest seize up when you turned back around to face him.

“How does it look?” You said, all shy.

He did kiss you then.

He kissed you when you ate your dinner, kissed you on the subway ride home, kissed you as you were walking backwards into your apartment.

You walked away for a minute to turn on the light, a single floor lamp that made the whole room soft and orange. You pulled off your clothes, he was mesmerized by the way the shadows hit the curves of your body.

“Get over here.” He said, hands searching his pockets. Where the fuck did he put it? Oh, there it was, little plastic baggie tied off at the top.

“How do ya want me?” You asked, already straddling his thighs, already wantin’ to be near to him. Pale clenched his jaw, his heart racing, going a million miles a fucking minute. The light glinted off the chain, he’d been aching for you. He couldn’t believe you were wearing it, that you wanted to wear it.

“Just like this for a fucking second.” He kissed at your neck, undid the tie on the baggie before pulling you closer to him, pushing your knees into his side. It didn’t even fucking matter, he was gonna be over the moon in a minute anyway.

He popped the clasps of your bra, yanked it off. He grabbed at your tits, pushed them together. He had to stop himself from just fucking pressing his whole face in your cleavage, breathing in the smell of your soap and your sweat there, licking up the taste of you. God he couldn’t get enough of the taste of you.

He closed his eyes against the feeling of your hands in his hair, right at the base of his neck, curling your fingers there, you kissing his cheek, you breathin deep, expanding your ribcage, pushing your tits into his hands.

He tipped the smallest little bump out onto your tits, the way they were pushed together like that held it long enough for him to snort it right up, let go of you for a second to pinch his nose and blink a few times, breathing out, he could already feel it working.

“Pale.” You moaned into his ear, makin him break out in goosebumps, what a fuckin’ mess, he thought.

“What, d’ya want some?” He asked, but you shook your head.

“No thanks.” You said sweetly, god you were too fuckin sweet to him, he thought. He wanted to jump you, he was all over the place, he wanted to hold you down and fuck you and kiss you and make you shout his name and make the neighbors bang their fucking fist on the fucking wall. He wanted to make you feel good, make you make him feel good.

You were impatient, it made him smile -- your hands were shakin. Why were they shakin? He was the one shakin for you. You pushed his jacket off his arms, he smiled, bit at your lips as you worked to get him even a fraction of naked like you were. He pulled the jacket off, yanked the shirt off his neck, you pulled open the buttons on his pants, you were desperate for him.

He pulled his cock out, you immediately wrapped a hand around it, gave it a good squeeze. He thought about a symphony in his head, had the urge to scratch it out with a shitty piece of charcoal and a scrap of paper, maybe the receipt from breakfast at the diner. You looked too fucking good in that shitty uniform. The music kept going and goin in his head, he wanted to fuck you.

He wrapped a big arm around you, steadying you and standing up, taking you with him. You instinctively tucked your legs around his waist, he carried you to your bed, kicking off his pants and underwear on the way. He threw you down on your bed, makin you laugh. The light from the streets outside glinted off the chain he gave you.

“Fuck.” He growled, he was seeing stars, sparkles coming off of you, off the chain.

He pried your legs open and slid in, easier now, now that you were getting used to him, to his cock. He liked the thought of that, thrust into you hard.

“Oh!” You gasped, grabbing at his back, wanting him closer.

“You look so fucking good, you know that? Remind me of a fucking amusement park – the lights. You know that? You ever been to Coney Island? You look like all the lights, all at once. Fuck you for that, for lookin’ so good. I want to fuck you up on the fuckin’ wonder wheel, kiss you real hard, make you squirm up there lookin’ over all the fuckin’ lights.” He talked and talked, he had so much to say, couldn’t stop, wanted to tell you everything all at once.

You moaned for him, moaned and gasped and pinched your face real tight when he fucked the air out your lungs. “Look so good taking my fucking cock like that. You like that?”

You were havin a hard time talkin, the way he was fucking you. That made him feel good, the burn in his muscles as he rammed into you made him feel good. God your cunt was so hot and tight around him, he could live there, dive in headfirst and fucking live in your pussy. He grabbed your jaw, held your face steady as he licked at your teeth, bit down on your tongue.

“You like it?” He asked, needing to hear, wanting you to like it.

“Yeah, I like it.” You said with a big smile, and he pinched at your cheek, at your nose, wanted you to stop being so fucking sweet.

His hips worked you into the mattress, headboard smacking against the wall. You filled the air with your noise, the way you gasped for him made him want to yell.

“You don’t even fuckin’ know what you do to me huh? You get me all riled up, just by fuckin standing there looking good. God what a slut, you’re a perfect fuckin’ whore, ain’t you. Making me all riled up.” He smothered you, buried his face in your neck, rammed his dick into you.

“You got me, don’t you?” You said, licking your lips, hand fisting in his hair. “I’m here, ain’t I?” He could tell you were close, you were making that little fucking face you make, he fucked you right on your g-spot, made you cry out, made you clench down around him, made you come.

“Yeah you are, you better fuckin’ better be.” He was losing it, he was gonna come, he didn’t want to, not yet, wanted to keep going with you forever, “You better be, you’re mine, you know that? Jesus.”

“I know, I am – I’m yours.” You panted into his mouth.

He came, shut his eyes real tight, actually fucking saw stars. You did that to him, you made him like that. His heart was racing, he felt like he could run a marathon.

He took a minute to catch his fucking breath, rolled off of you. You settled close to him, didn’t care that he was sweaty. He was coming down, starting to lose the high.

Maybe he would go run, he could run away right now – leave.

“Hey,” He said, pinching your arm to get your attention. You were starting to fall asleep, your head resting on his chest – he should go. He knew he should leave, he always left, he had to leave. He got your attention to tell you he was gonna fucking go.

“You ain’t fucking anyone else, are you?” He asked instead.

“Why does it matter?” You asked back, not even bothering to lift your fucking head up and look at him. He didn’t like that, didn’t know why you had to be so god damned difficult all the time. The chain glittered in the moonlight.

“It just does.” He said, real serious. He didn’t know why, he didn’t know how to fucking explain it to you, he just needed to know. You were wearing it, he needed to know.

“I know you are.” You said, finally looking up at him. He frowned, didn’t like the assumption.

“You don’t know shit about me.” He said, and you rolled off of him, settling down next to him on the bed.

He wanted to kiss you. Your shampoo smelled nice. He had to fucking go.

“I’m clean, if that’s what you were really asking.” You said, and he scoffed. Were you always gonna be like this?

“It wasn’t, but so am I.” He said seriously, and you nodded. He wasn’t gonna let you off the fucking hook that easy. “Now tell me.”

“I am not fucking anyone else.” You said, looking at him like you meant it.

Good, he thought. That was good. He wanted to scream.

He checked the time, it wasn’t even two in the fucking morning yet, he could still go if he wanted.

“Are you gonna keep breaking in like that?” You asked, stretching out on your fucking mattress, looking delicious. He let a hand slide across your stomach, curled just his index finger into your cunt. You smiled.

“Maybe. Probably.” He swallowed hard, “Yes.”

You nodded, arched your back a little. Your tits looked good like that, real fucking good. Maybe he’d stay, get to fuck you in the morning. You were good for him tonight, he could repay you in the morning. Maybe you’d make him breakfast again, like that first night all that time ago, the night that started this whole fucking thing.

He’d fuck you over breakfast.

You went quiet again, did you fall asleep? He wished he knew what was going on in your head, what you were thinking. He wished you would put your fucking head back on his chest. He was losing it.

“How do you spell your name?” You asked, catching him off guard.

His name? What did that have anything to do with anything?  

“P-a-l-e.” He said, rubbing at your clit with his finger, making you sigh all happy. “Like the bucket.”

“That’s p-a-i-l.” You laughed brightly, smiling at him too honest.

“Who gives a shit?” He asked, ghost of a smile at the corners of his mouth.

You put your head back on his chest, he figured you figured he was staying. That meant he had to stay. He let himself wrap an arm around your waist, and the other around your shoulders. Your skin was chilly, all the sweat from when he fucked your brains out cooling. You sighed happily, he was warm, always ran warm. A hundred and ten fucking degrees the doctors said.

You were warm, he couldn’t go now. He was fucked.

He fell asleep.

  That’s it for this chapter!! Please come yell at me your thoughts and thots, i’d love to hear them :)) <3 

Tagging some pals! As always, if you’d like to be added or taken off the list please just shoot me a message!  @fullofbees @spinebarrel @oh-adam@dreamboatdriver @bad–bad–man @thecurlycaptain@bourbonboredom @driverficarchive@aweirdlookingtree@rosalynbair@redhairedfeistynerd@adamsnackdriver @glitzescape@arwarz @adamsnacc-kler @kyloxfem@fallin-for-youreyes @kylo-renne @attorneyl

#reader insert #pale x reader #kylo ren x reader #burn this #burn this broadway #adam driver x reader #my writing #edit: added the chapter name because im a dummie who forgot lol