#i get anxious talking to anyone

[knific]

iwant to be friends with all my mutuals here I promise I just have a really hard time socializing

#i get anxious talking to anyone #but ughhhh i look at yoy gys chit chatting eachothrr and i sigh very loudly #because like no fairrr waaahhhchhwhy am i not talking to you uet🤕 #0 txt

[missjashin]

Steve spending the night at Eddie’s because his parents are home and they’ve been arguing so he doesn’t really wanna be at home. Didn’t go to Robin because her parents might not let him stay the night and also Robin has work tomorrow and Steve doesn’t. The odd case of them not having shift together.

So he ends up with Eddie and in the morning he is having breakfast with Eddie and Wayne and they discuss their plans for the day. Eddie and Wayne have some plans for the day. You know, to spend some quality family time maybe? Or maybe they have just some errands to run, stuff to figure out because of all the shit that went down during spring break.. Whatever, they have plans for the day and Steve.. doesn’t want to intrude any more than he already is so he is not going with them. Even when they say he can come too.

And it’s summer time so the kids are busy with whatever the teens are busy with. And Steve loves them dearly and loves spending time with them but he tries to give them space and not smother them with his worrying so yeah he can’t spend the day with them either. They’ll come to him if they need him.. He could always go bother Robin at work but going to your work place on your free day because you have nothing better to do sounds a little sad.. So maybe he’ll just have to suck it up and go back home then.

But then Eddie offers that he could stay. You know he doesn’t have to leave just because Wayne and Eddie do. Like he could stay, it’s fine. They’ll be back by 6 or so and they could have dinner together then? And since Steve really really really doesn’t want to go home right now he accepts (after asking about thousand times if it’s really okay tho).

So soon he is left alone with a “Feel free to educate yourself with my music collection while we’re gone” and see you laters. Steve didn’t really have any plans for today and he kinda left in a hurry too so he didn’t bring much stuff with him but oh well he’ll figure something out.

He starts collecting the breakfast dishes and well he could wash them. He has the time and it would be just nice little gesture since the Munsons let him stay and all. And then it just makes sense to wipe the counters and the table after that. Like who would wash the dishes and then just leave crumbs all over the place? Oh. And I guess he just got some of those crumbs to the floor now. Well it’s just a quick little sweep. Could vacuum the whole place now too since he started. But first he needs to declutter a bit because goddamn Eddie why are your clothes and books just everywhere. Might as well do some laundry while he’s at it.

When Eddie and Wayne come back home around 6pm the place they’re in for a quite a shock. Not only is the place spotless but they’re greeted with the smell of food as well. “Oh you’re back! I’m making dinner, it’s just about done” Steve welcomes them enthusiastically but start to doubt himself a little after seeing the surprised faces. “I.. hope that’s okay”

Only then Steve realizes he may have got little carried away with his cleaning spree. Like maybe cleaning the windows was a tad bit too much.. Ugh he so hopes they’re not too weirded out.. Honestly he didn’t even realize he basically spent all day doing household chores that and it’s not even his own house. He glad the Munsons don’t comment on it too much tho, other than “you didn’t have to” and slightly awkward thank yous.

They start eating and now they drown Steve in compliments. (“Wow this is so good, what brand is this?” “Uhm.. it’s not a-.. I made it” “…Like from scratch?!” “Yeah..” “Holy shit dude this is seriously so fucking delicious” “Language. But he is right son, this is fucking delicious”)

At some point during dinner Wayne makes a comment about it starting to rain and Steve lets out a shocked gasp “my laundry!” and rushes out to collect it from outside where he hung it to dry. Wayne asks amusedly if Steve is a housewife or something, just ready to crack little jokes there but then spots the dopey smile on his nephew’s face, gaze still lingering in the doorway where Steve run off to. He smiles knowingly at Eddie when he finally looks back at him, now starting to blush and trying to stammer some sort of reply.

Steve comes back in and they finish dinner and hang out a bit together until Steve and Eddie go to Eddie’s room. Steve again apologizes because he got so carried away and hope he didn’t cross any lines. Eddie little amusedly asks if Steve really thinks they’d be mad at him for tidying up the place? Just helping them out a little so they can relax? Like in all seriousness, after all that shit show that happened during spring, Wayne could use a little break and just relax.

(“And you couldn’t?” “Well sure I could, but in this case he needs it more. If you haven’t noticed I’m not much of help in the cleaning department” “Oh yeah, I’ve noticed” “Hey!” “What? You asked!”)

Eddie then asks if Steve “educated himself” with the music. Steve tells to educate him himself. Eddie takes that as a challenge.

Steve spends the other night.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #st steddie #wayne munson #anyone can be a baby girl but it takes a man to be a wife and all that #steve getting into cleaning zone might be me projecting but let’s not talk about that #he also feels like he needs to be useful to be welcome <3 #I was supposed to write a quick funny headcanon but it became this monstrosity🤡 #also waited too long to post this and now I'm anxious because this is so messy #Steve please come clean my brain too #silly thoughts #Also got tired of typing so I'm gonna just stop here good bye

[luckycharms1701]

Lucky I write down potential asks in my notes and literally just scribbled this today so the fact hur open now is a wild coincidence and also ily /p have a great night !!! Drink fluids !!

The set up premise might be.. different? so ignore if inspiration doesn't tickle ur scrote but I am a person who eats spicy food on a daily basis and if it's painful enough it can look like a damn sexual experience(panting, sweating, flushed face, gr/moaning(in pain), whines, milk spills, the works). I can see bay Mikey doing some kind of prank or dare without knowing what would stir within until suddenly ur being dragged off to his bedroom trading one heat for another-

I'd hoped this was just about blurbish length and that I make sense ;-; (I am so nervous about sending request asks in I am ill)

(-gornack but anon cuz if i sound nonsensical I don't want the embarrassment of having my account attached)

^ how i felt reading this ask

there is nothing to be embarrassed about here!!

sorry for the fade to black but hope you enjoy anyway!

It takes exactly three wings for you to realize that you’ve made a mistake. You pause when the heat hits your tongue, and that is another mistake. You swallow without tasting anything and look at Mikey’s expectant face with a shaky smile. “No problem!” You give him a thumbs up, hoping he’ll ignore the increasing redness you can feel in your face.

When Mikey came to you, begging to recreate those videos he was obsessed with where people eat progressively spicier food, you knew this would happen. You knew. But one look into those tearful puppy dog eyes and you folded faster than wet cardboard. Now you (and your relatively low spice tolerance) find yourself wishing that you weren’t head over heels for him.

“Yes!” Mikey cheers with his hands in the air, and all the pain you are about to endure is immediately worth it. Damn him. You look back down at the remainder of the wing in your hand and both dread and determination run through your veins. Well, mama didn’t raise no quitter. You bring the little bomb to your mouth and eat the rest of it, trying and failing to keep the sauce off your lips. Shit.

You nibble on some bread to help with the heat, saving the milk for later when you’re truly suffering. Your fingers tap along to the beat of the music Mikey put on as you look for the next spicy little enemy. Instead of offering you the next saucy wing, Mikey is staring. At your lips, specifically. You touch them hesitantly. They feel a little inflamed but dry. “Did I miss some sauce or something?” Mikey shakes his head with an unusually (even for him) loud “No! You’re fine.” You shrug and reach for the wing he offers you.

Sweat forms on your brow before the heat hits, and you brace yourself just in time. A breathy “oh” leaves your parted lips as the heat rolls through your mouth like thunder. You give in and reach for the milk as the heat crests, gulping a little too quickly and spilling some. When the teasing you expect from your best friend doesn’t manifest, you try to contain your panting and look up to find him once again staring at your mouth. “Okay, I know what’s up with me, but what’s up with you?” You reach up and swipe at the line of milk dribbling down your chin with your thumb, and Mikey visibly swallows.

“N-nothing, angel. Just wondering if you’re still up for this. You look… heated.” You groan loudly at what you assume is a very bad pun, holding out your hand for the next torture device. The heat in your mouth is now at an alarmingly high steady burn, but you are trying to ignore that in favor of getting through this ordeal.

“Hit me, Michelangelo.” He mutters something under his breath that you can’t hear over the music, and you study him as he hands you the next wing. He is twitchy, eyes dark as he watches your fingers wrap around the meat. Wondering why Mikey is acting so weird is a good distraction from the pain in your mouth, so you continue to observe him as you raise the fifth wing to your mouth.

It seems almost like Mikey is the one on the spot, you muse as you chew, with the way he can’t sit still. He’s looking everywhere except at you now, fingers tapping agitatedly on the can of Orange Crush in between his hands on the table. Then the heat hits you like a brick wall, and there is no room in your head for anything except the stinging pain. Tears fill your eyes as you whimper.

Mikey’s chair scraping across the floor startles you as you chug some milk, and you spill some again. Your whimper turns into a groan as more milk dribbles down your chin. How embarrassing. The milk pools in your hand as you try in vain to keep it from getting everywhere.

“Okay, that’s it!”

Before you can process what’s happening beyond the fire raging in your mouth, Mikey rounds the table and picks you up. You stutter his name, hands flailing, beyond bewildered. He ignores you and beelines for his room, squeezing you firmly against his plastron.The door closes with an ominous snick, and you brace yourself, still panting from the heat of the wings. The tension leaves you though, as Mikey tosses you on the bed and shows you exactly why he was acting so weird. Oh. Ohhhhh. OH.

~~~

head bonks: @yorshie @avery73 @justalotoffanfiction @thejudiciousneurotic @writinandcrying @xnorthstar3x @morenovix218 @donniesgirlie @gornackeaterofworlds

#in case anyone is wondering #when mikey is muttering he says 'oh i'll /hit you/ alright. hit you with my dick' #you're welcome 😙 #i had a lot of fun writing this! very tongue in cheek that's my favorite #also thank you for the well wishes i am happy to be back uvu #i've said it before and i'll say it again: i LOVE getting requests PLEASE send them to me #zero need to be anxious i get giddy whenever one comes in #talking tag #writing tag #bayverse mikey #bayverse mikey x reader #tmnt

[bunnihearted]

lately i've been finding it so so hard to be positive and hopeful. and it's making me so bitter and hateful. i hate it but i dont know what to do about it

#idk it's just all too much to deal w #i have sm pains and physical discomforts. money issues. stress bc my avpd is making school very hard for me to finish #i have suicidal thoughts and really bad anxiety every single day. i've basically begged the mental health care system for help for 7 months #like i've kept contacting them and asking them but they havent done anything at all for me. i dont even get to see anyone and talk #i just dont know what to do or how to handle it #im so stressed abt the future. i have to finish school but then choose smth so i can go to school/get a degree & get a job #im holding my mom down and back and i need to find a way to kove out from her and support myself #i have no friends to meet or hangout with and destress with etc etc and im really feeling the lack of it #idk the list just goes on and on and on #nothing is working and idk how to fix it. but also i know that me and only me have to find a way bc there is no help #i struggle bc of my avpd and mental health but there is no treatment for me to get. they just dont wanna give me *any* help at all #im just so frustrated. and every day is the same. everyday is full of some physical pain anxiety stress worries suicidal thoughts etc etc #i cant break free idk how!!!! my life is so fkn boring and pathetic and miserable #i never get to relax bc all of a sudden last year i got extremely noise sensitive. and it's never quiet anywhere in this city #anyway yeah i could just keep going. and like now im feeling anxious bc my tooth is aching :(( #it -everything- never stops or lets up or relents. and it makes me wanna die even more. #so... idk im just incapable of being hopeful abt anything and that's really killing me idk

[allthoseotherworlds]

It's honestly pretty frustrating sometimes how I feel like so many people say they love Martha, but mostly what I actually see people saying about Martha is how much she probably does/should hate the Doctor for not returning her crush, or sometimes how much people hate Blink/Family of Blood/Last of the Time Lords because they were hard for her.

And like, the former of those is frustrating because a) Nobody is obligated to return someone's romantic feelings, b) Being oblivious to someone having a crush on you might suck for the other person but is not actually a moral failing and c) Martha was sad about it but like. She didn't leave because she was furious at the Doctor for not returning her crush? She left because she knew her crush wasn't reciprocated and wasn't going to be, but couldn't get over it on her end while travelling with the Doctor. And also because the past year had been pretty traumatizing for everyone, including her and also the Doctor and also everyone else who was on that ship thing.

Anyways

I just wanted to talk for a bit about the things I like about Martha, or that are interesting, that are unrelated to those points above.

I think she's the first companion in New Who to join Unit, and I think still the only one to be a medical doctor with a strong scientific backing. Which is cool!

I think it's interesting that in the first episode she appears in, her family is shown to be kind of messy and kind of frustrating, and it feels like that's something she's a little glad to be getting away from for a bit when she travels with the Doctor (though it's not the reason she travels with them). And then, at the end of the season when her family is in danger she prioritizes their wellbeing enough to snap at the Doctor about it. If I remember correctly their phones were tapped or something and it wound up making things a bit worse, but I appreciate the nuances of her relationship with them and how important they are to her despite the messiness.

Despite all the ado made about her crush on the Doctor, I really loved how she really seemed to get the point of travelling with the Doctor. I think that she nailed both the joy and excitement of the unknown, and the compassion and sense of care that motivates the Doctor's travels, and which I think is vital to all of my favourite companions.

It also contrasts in interesting ways with how her personality shifts after she stops travelling with the Doctor - she still cares about people's wellbeing and seems to value the things she learned while travelling, but working with Unit and Torchwood does make her more military, and then of course doing freelance alien fighting (? or something?) in the End of Time.

I think Martha and the Doctor are an interesting duo because they contrast each other in interesting ways. They're both compassionate, hopeful but practical, and good at what they do, but they reflect those qualities in ways that almost, but don't quite, fit together nicely. They don't conflict, really, but they're not quite sustainable either.

They work well together and care about each other, but they're too similar in some ways and too different in others to ever quite see eye to eye, which is why they end up going in different directions. And I think that's not anyone's fault, or indicative of any deep flaws in either of them. Or even really a tragedy, because Martha seems to be doing new and interesting things every time we see her, with plenty of options available and a decent rapport with the Doctor whenever they show up.

Anyway this got way longer than I meant it to. Tldr: There are so many more interesting things to say about Martha than just "She must hate the Doctor". Here are some of them.

#Also I didn't have room here but. I understand hating the family of blood stuff but. John Smith is not the Doctor. That's the whole point #John Smith is absolutely rude to Martha and I dislike him as a person. But he is also not the Doctor #And I absolutely do not believe that the Doctor handpicked the persona and went “Yeah. Making him rude and racist and like guns” #I think they just got out the chameleon arch and said #“Here's the time and location that gives us the best shot at avoiding the family of blood. Give me and Martha random identities. Thanks” #That said it's actually not an episode I particularly like so I don't know why I'm rambling about it here #I get anxious about things where characters are Not Themselves and being rude and mean in ways they aren't #And also found the ending a little Too Much personally #Anyways I'm just monologuing now #Doctor Who #Doctor Who Meta #Martha Jones #I am talking #I am just some guy (gender neutral) #This post brought to you by another person joking about how Martha is so strong for putting up with the Doctor because of the crush stuff #And me as an aromantic not enjoying the implication that I am something to put up with and that the most interesting thing anyone can say #about a dynamic between two people is how much it sucks that one of them didn't know the other had a crush and 'led them on' #or whatever. But just ranting about that again didn't feel constructive so I tried to say more interesting things instead

[pessimisticprincess]

my mom has been dating this guy and i just found out his son hosts dnd once a week at their house and i think i finally am gonna be able to join someone’s campaign and play for the first time in forever 🙇🏻‍♀️

#i was invited and my anxiety says no because idk anyone #but i’m also like sooo excited to get the chance to participate and use my character so maybe that will win over my anxiety we’ll see #it’s Tuesday night so i have a few days to either talk myself out of it or get more excited about it #wish i wasn’t so awkward and unsure about everything 😐 #like to be 27 and still this anxious and weird about stuff is so 😐😐😐😐

[galaxywhump]

A small announcement:

I know I haven't been too active in ages so it doesn't change much, but I think I'm going to go on a general hiatus. I realized that recently opening and browsing tumblr has started to make me feel anxious, as well as guilty about not writing. I don't want to leave the community for good, and I think, or hope anyway, that I still have some love for writing, but maybe taking a break is a good idea. I'm sorry, and love you all ❤️

#don't worry it's nothing that anyone i follow or who follows me has done #it is mostly because of the recently discovered bigots #they're gone but i guess i was already prone to stress cause boy did it stress me out #i just don't want to feel anxious because of something that used to make me so happy #if there's something urgent feel free to send me an ask cause i get emails about them #and yeah i think that's it #see you later #when i feel a bit more stable #marti talks #marti vents

[septimus-heap]

I've done a stupid thing and idk how to fix it and my parents r going to be so so mad at me abt it and idk what to do

#sep talks #I'm genuinely so so anxious #it might be fine!! But my mum is definitely definitely going to get mad at me for it and idk. Idk what to do idk how to fix it #it's probably fixable!!!!!!!!!! But idk how to do it!!!!! #if anyone heard me complaining abt my computer earlier this is. That #I'm like. Genuinely scared. Idk why. It's not that bad #but I need to talk to my dad abt it whem my mum can't hear but shes always home and has super sensitive hearing #or. Well. It is that bad. I think #maybe. It might be #idk!! Idk!!!!!! I'm not good at computers. I hate it here I hate it I hate it

[einstetic]

i'm not tired, i'm exhausted

#my head is full of sooo many thoughts and i'm feeling way too many emotions right now #i struggled with my thesis today again after a few months break #yesterday a guy i'm kind of getting to know asked me a question that hit home when we were talking about the effects of past events #“'last time when cuddling and i gave you a kiss you tensed up completely for a sec. was that you being shy or being uncomfortable. ' #i didn't even realise it and now i'm feeling extremely anxious about my subconscious acting out when i am in fact feeling comfortable #background: he knows my history of unpleasant events concerning intimacy/sex and he's very mindful about it yet challenges me in a good way #but now i am a mixture of extreme exhaustion experiencing high levels of fondness and yet feeling extremely agitated #and having constant minor flashbacks and i really don't know what to do or how to merely exist in this moment now #not going to bother anyone with this and my thoughts as they are having a good time and that also goes for the pretty nice guy i mentioned #so i'm on my own in my own company #maybe some music crying and ice cream straight from the tub would help haha #thank you for taking your time to read this mess love you and have a nice morning day or night #literally no one cares emma

[bangcakes]

.

#personal #..... im just gonna have to be patient NDNDNDNNDD #and tbh im lucky to even be feeling this way. like i never in a million years would think this would happen to me #like JDJDJDJDJJDJD god. idk idk #we defs like. were buds at that dinner. like he was near me the whole time. like i left a lil earlier and he was right behind me NDJDJDJJDJ #got to sit next to each other.... and like. god.... idk this was like movie shit #when i got there...... it was super early okay. i get anxious about being late (and ok i also know he has a tendency to be early) #so i pull into a spot n im waiting there #this car that looked like his pulled into the spot almost in front of me #n im like is that him ????? like wouldnt that be so fucjin funny #then the light in the car goes on and im like OH IT LOOKS LIKE HIM???? but then i was like eh it could be anyone #so im like okay whatever. if its him. he'll get out eventually #so the guy gets out if the car right and LMAO IT WAS HIM AHAHAHAHAHHAHA #so i get out of my car and like theres so many cars going past us so i walk a lil ahead #and then i look back and meet eyes with him n im like #OH SO IT WAS YOU #and he was like. YA. I WAVED AT YOU #and i was like I DIDN'T SEE IT. then we talked about something else #and then i was like..... was the light on when you waved tho #and he was like... i think so???? GOD. LMAO. THIS IS WHY ITS GONNA TAKE US 800000 YEARS #so anyway. its only us two there and we're walking toward the restaurant and im like oh should we go in. n hes like ya #so we do.... and god lmao being there with him... going up to ask for our reservation. i was like WHAT KIND OF DATE SITUATION????? #LIKE IT WASNT. BUT I WAS LIKE DJDJJDJDJDJD OH THIS IS. WHAT ITD FEEL LIKE HUH. GOD. #n e way we had to wait forever for the table n for other ppl to show up. #then when we were finally sat... he was right near me. like not the chair directly in front of me. but tge one adjacent #so i got to talk to him all night !!!@ and like there were some awkward times of silence but JDJDJJD IDK. WE WERE EATING. #and like there were other people at the table too and i didnt wanna just be asking him questions NDJDNDJJDJDJ #n e way. he was cuter and taller than i remembered. he had me dying laughing at some points. i still like him so much NDJDJDJDNJDJD #im in so much trouble......... like will i ever be okay again

[bunnihearted]

being in pain is so isolating nd alienating lol >.<

#bc the thing is nobody cares abt your pain. like that's simply human psychology #so even if that's how the human mind is built nd it's understandable. it still sucks to receive so little sympathy nd understanding #like i mean ppl get sick nd tired of u when u talk abt the pain nd just want u to stop complaining nd be positive #nd they're rlly unsympathetic nd just want u to shut up nd do the things you're supposed to do without whining #so yes idk having to shut up abt it makes me feel like im stuck all alone inside this miserable bubble #either way im getting better nd better at not talking abt it!!!!! even on here i dont say like 80% of what i wanna vent abt sksksks #ppl always treat me as if im exaggarating or just anxious nd worried nd that i need to relax nd that everythings fine #so i've gotten way better at keeping it inside nd not bothering anyone w it!!! thats good #i mean it hurts nd makes me feel isolated buuut it's better than being a burden nd a bother nd making ppl roll their eyes nd sigh at me #but it's also so hard for me to seek medical attention for anything bc i feel like im just being dramatic nd annoying #idk... anyway so many things i wanna complain abt rn pain wise but im doing so good at shutting up abt them i need a gold star ⭐️ #hand in hand w this im getting better at just shutting up nd doing what ppl want me to do nd think im supposed to do even if im in pain

[icedmetaltea]

I cannot offer anything for you to do but may I suggest finding yandere prompts? There were a few on Tumblr iirc, just type in yandere prompts into Google! Maybe that'll help as others can then take a line or something and you can either draw something or write a short snippet???

I got too anxious to do much but kinda just lay down for a while so this is late but here ya gooo (this was actually rlly fun I need to make these more often)

Plot twist, I’m switching things up and usin Moon this time. Decided to use they/them pronouns for Moon today just cause it felt right (also I’m making them a jealous bitch lol)

“I know the sound of your heart.”

You didn’t sleep last night. It was obvious from the bags under your eyes, the slouch of your back, the way you mumbled a greeting rather than a cheerful hello like you always did. Moon was dormant right now, the light holding them painfully still, but they could watch even so, they could listen.

Pumped full of cortisol and adrenaline from a mix of sleep deprivation and work stress, your heart was beating faster than it should. It was nothing serious, they didn’t need to scan you to know that much, but it was enough to peak their attention. They watched as you struggled to stay awake throughout your shift, their awareness nestled somewhere behind their sunnier counterpart’s stupid grin.

Your movements jerky, hands trembling slightly- nothing noticeable except under a watchful eye- you cleaned, put on a smile and cared for the children as best you could. Sun didn’t realize. He never did, waltzing around with you and accepting your help as if you were perfectly fine. Sleep wasn’t a concept he understood, so he couldn’t comprehend the lack of it. The way it demanded more on the nervous system, the way it made you hungry and hot and cold all at once. Created with the one function of providing sleep, seeing you like this was almost painful to watch- more so that they couldn’t do a thing about it.

As the hours rolled on, your heart rate grew faster. Sun insisted on parading around with you like it was all some game to him. He was completely unaware of your struggles, far too absorbed with his own excitement from your company. Company that didn’t belong to him. They watched as you forced on a happy face for his sake, so he wouldn’t worry. Even if he knew, you’d just play it off, telling him it was nothing to worry about, shy from the attention. You’d done that too many times to count.

Your heart was loud in their head, thumping in time with the glances of their eyes over your tiring face. You were growing weaker, just barely able to force your eyes to stay open. You were prone to making mistakes like this, doing something silly old Sundrop wouldn't very much approve of...

That organ, the only mechanical thing about you, ticked away as the minutes rolled by, counting the seconds till the lights would go out for the day. You didn't think to check your watch, almost ready to nod off at the desk . Even Sun was too busy to notice, reveling in your presence and the smiles he stole from them. That didn't matter.

They'd steal them back soon enough.

#Answer tag #Metaltea Talks #laymedowntorest #tw yandere #writing prompts #Metaltea writes #srry I deleted my post earlier #cause idk I get rlly self conscious about vent posts when anxious #but yea if anyone has any prompts I'm still accepting em #*gives charshine a bowl of ramen* #ficlet #Pov: you get forced into early bedtime #15 hours of sleep for you imbecile!!!!! #fnaf Moon #fnaf #moon x y/n #moon x reader

[impostorsshow]

Happy New year everyone! I'm aware my post is late since I am 1 making this post 10 minutes after the New Year started, and also I live in one of the later timezones. However, I wanted to share that as a part of this new year, I've made a resolution; [obligatory read more since editing me has decided this is kinda long]

My resolution is to defeat [not 100%] every Zelda game that I have a copy of or aqquire this year. I think it's a task I can actually do and isn't too far off into impossible land, and to kick it off I spent the entirety of today completing [the first quest] of the original NES Zelda, in one sitting [like its meant to be] and abusing savestates every frame because I don't have very good control over mobility in games god help me if I play a precision platformer like ever. Anyway, completing this game is a very big deal to me, since I normally have a Very Big Issue with actually seeing the end of the game, and on top of that, it's a very hard game that i have held on a pedastal for years, and will continue to do so. I had to use my damn Zelda encyclodia and a guide to skip 70% of the final dungeon, too, though im nowhere near ashamed of that.

Here's proof for my own sake, as well as a few doodles, zelda related things in the encyclopedia that i may or may not do a redraw of later, and just general things that make me happy in my camera roll to start the new years off with some positivity. Remember kids, you don't gotta celebrate shit if it makes you feel bad, but make sure to take as much positivity as you can, however and whenever its avaliable, feeling happy is the difference behind surviving and living. If you don't have a new years resolution or are scared/dislike having one, that's okay and don't let anyone pressure you into that stuff! Just make sure your safe,stable and as happy as you can manage in your current situation.

You can tell this recording is mine because I never upgraded my bombs /j

#talk talks #important #zelda ranch dip #on a technicality #i saw a drawing of ravio and its the Only official art ive seen of his hood that i think looks cute so im gonna redraw it #i also want to learn how to digital paint but eh if i dont get around to it its okay. i got time everyone's got time #on nights like these i feel happy in like the “lets go sit outside under the stars and talk about our bad feelings so we dont have to think #of them anymore. lets trade thoughts and hopeful wishes in a hope they might come true“ yknow? its a nice #oh shit wait right yeah thats hust how feeling calm is like 90% of the time i can feel my chest being tight with anxiety #im a very anxious person but anxiety dont help anyone so you probably wouldnt know until like. i have a heart attack or something ive been #waiting on that to happen since i was 14 dude. ah dammit calm is over anyway happy new years! stay safe!

[namari-hime-moved]

potentially going scorched earth on this account

#I don't knowww i tend to get very anxious about internet followers and numbers and my online precense #and i feel kind of bad about wanting to post different stuff like recently ive been wanting to post more original stuff #so i might just move accounts and leave a link here for anyone who wants to follow. I DONT KNOW we'll see #the most likely answer is this account is dying forever tho. sorry #i feel weird trying to justify it but i just want to do whatever i want forever and i feel Bad doing it on this account for some reason #Uegh #mel talks

[floral-hex]

Just canceled all of my future therapy appointments. Big fudgin’ bummer. Did I mention I lost my insurance? Didn’t even find out about that until the day it lapsed. Trying to find a way to fix it now, reapplying and whatnot, but ya know, it’s bureaucracy so who knows how long it’ll take. Just fingers crossed I don’t run out of meds first.

lol it’s underwater 🐠

#ugggghhhhh so sad #like genuinely I think my therapist rocks #he’s the best one I’ve ever had. nice and cool but no BS and just harsh enough to push me #I feel like such a baby for saying it but literally the number one thing I’ve wanted these last few weeks was to go to therapy #I had to skip my last appointment so I haven’t seen him in weeks #between my mom’s organ transplant and driving back and forth to see her everyday and taking care of my bros aaand super suicidal birthday #I’m just… I’m tired. I want to vent. I just want to spill my guts for an hour and maybe cry a lot #and I can’t do that with anyone else. I know that’s dumb to say #I 100% can’t complain to my family because ya know I gotta be strong and they don’t need me being a burden #and I love my mutuals but I don’t know any of you anywhere well enough to feel comfortable venting #I mean. y’all can vent to me all day. I’ll gladly listen to you talk about yourselves. I’m here for it. I just can’t do it myself 😕 #I’m so tired and anxious and I don’t want to really get into the self harm talk but I’ve had some serious self destructive thoughts lately #I don’t know what I’m going to do #I have to believe it’ll get better #because if I don’t believe that then… what’s the point? #also.. I’m really fucking lonely. just to throw that out there. if you can’t tell by my reblogs. #I am like desperately and ravenously lonely and full of longing #and you add that to everything else it’s just the sad little cherry on top… #now I want an ice cream sundae… mmmm…. #I need 1000 hugs and to sit with someone and maybe get fucked up and complain and sit in silence and and and blegh #but that’s life. it’ll be… it’ll be whatever it is. #sorry. this is a bit too heavy for this time of morning #I’ve been sick. really bad vertigo and vomiting and I’m just wiped out and sad #but I love you stranger or at least I like you enough to be okay with you reading this #okay be safe #goodbye forever #text

[savageday6]

.

#word vomit alert!!!!! #i love solo trips out bc i get to do whatever i like without having to make conversation with people but omg....... #this trip has evoked alarming levels of loneliness and melancholy for some reason #maybe it's got something to do with just seeing Too Many People at once... and seeing people live their lives and enjoy company #n then i see myself n while i see an independent carefree person who's at peace with herself there's also a tinge! of! melancholy n pining.. #for companionship... for easy conversations... for connections! #i was also listening to Fourever while roaming around aimlessly and when Happy started playing i immediately teared up #i think i just have too many things on my mind djskfksmmdskkd i need to get back to journaling n meditating. too much anxious energy #also during dinner i sat next to a couple who seemed to be on their first date post dating app conversation. n it reminded me of my prev rs #dkfkfnmsfndnmdm i wouldn't call it ptsd bc they were good memories but personally i would most likely never use a dating app ever again..... #it's just too much pain having to talk through icebreakers n get to know each other with the topic of Dating already looming in the bg #n it's just a lot of Work for a first date you know??? anyway i'm tired of relationships. i would love organic platonic companionship tho #like i would love more friends. just not a Partner shdkfjdndndmd #but with that said !!!! it's sometimes lonely being single. but the thing is. there's no company that i'd prefer more than my own #i bring too much joy and peace to myself that i feel like it's almost impossible for anyone to meet those standards #it's very much like that tiktok where op said her app guy asked her who his competition was and she answered: Myself. your competition is me #and that was just the truest thing i've seen #also met an unkind worker at dinner. wasn't directed at me but the energy he gave off was just so Bad that it ruined my evening KDKDJSKDK #like . how can someone be so miserable n unkind n mean to the people around him??? as if they aren't deserving of respect... it boggles me #n so todays trip has been so . strange. i felt sad! witnessed unkindness! i felt a little lonely! #i unknowingly self-reflected a lot n probably spiralled into a rumination cycle! thought abt work n how it seemed like there was No Way Out #but !! it is what it is!!!