#i found out the second to last thing on tv tropes

[sukunasweetheart]

👀👉🏾👈🏾 Sukuna x Reader ex's to lovers?

wowowow i cant believe im doing like another celebrity au again but here goes nothing ahaha...

i love this trope, i ended up writing a WHOLE, lengthy ass, detailed plotline on it i hope u dont mind <3 (A WHOLE WHOPPING 6K WORDS YALL)

prepare for hella angst, OOC sukuna, insecure fem!reader, ghosting, messy break up, conflicting and complicated feelings + sexual tension and then intense smut @ the end (make up sex)

imagine sukuna being like, an amateur model-turned-actor, with you being his highschool sweetheart, who was there to support him since day one

a very happy, fulfilling relationship for the most part-- until he starts gaining huge amounts of popularity.

youve always known that he was meant and born to reach sky-high levels of success, and you were certain he was going to make it one day

but things get rockier by the second, and insecurity is such an ugly, ugly thing

seeing him model with other beautiful celebrities, acting in roles where he had a love interest to kiss and fondle, reading those gossip scandal articles involving him and another party every few months or so-

it all got too much for you.

all you needed was some reassurance... but young and vivacious sukuna, drunk on this fame and attention, failed to recognise that and left you feeling neglected.

not on purpose tho, he's never engaged in infidelity, he's never gazed upon someone else with lust or love on his mind - he was using everyone around him as a stepping stone towards his own career

sukuna's known you since forever, and he was confident that you knew his affection for you was unwavering... so he failed to understand where you were coming from whenever you brought these things up

arguments after arguments after arguments

the worst part of it was that he wanted to keep his relationship with you a secret. saying something about how having a significant other would slow his progress in his career down... the decision was urged on by the entertainment company that he was in a contract with

it hurt so damn much when he was being interviewed on tv about his romantic life, only for him to tell the world he was single.

it leads to more arguing.

of course, as a rising celebrity, he was quite awfully busy with many business trips and attending a lot of parties and galas

another terrible fight occurred right before he had to leave for a flight overseas but by then, youd pretty much already decided that you were going to leave him

you basically ghosted him, packing all your belongings overnight, blocking his number and all his social media accounts, making sure even all yours and his mutual friends didn't know of your whereabouts. you're going to start fresh. and give him no closure.

it was petty revenge, and maybe immature of you, but you were just as young as he was, and you wanted him to hurt as badly as you were hurting back then.

sukuna's still overseas, having just come back from another fancy gathering and is fresh out of the shower, in his hotel room... he decides he's gonna try and give you a call, but ofc you don't pick up

he sighs and convinces himself that he'll sort things out with you later when he gets back, not knowing that there won't be a 'later'.

meanwhile you're dragging a suitcase out of the apartment, taking a taxi somewhere else far away, crying as you pass by giant billboards that have pictures of sukuna plastered all over

he feels like such a faraway person now. no longer someone who you used to cuddle closely in bed, or hold hands with. you're not even sure of who you are without him anymore.

you could imagine his reaction when he came home, only to find your entire existence missing. seriously, it was like you were never there. you left nothing of yours behind, and the place was cleaned spick and span, not a hair of yours to be found.

when was the last time sukuna felt so panicked?? this dull ache in his chest, as he spams you calls and texts that never reach you

he contacts mutual friends in rotation but everyone is absolutely clueless... he considers filing a missing persons case but then a trusted friend of yours tells him to not look for you... and that you wanted them to relay a message to him, just a simple goodbye.

what the fuck are you talking about?

oh, here comes a severe headache.

his mind is whirring with overlapping memories, thoughts, regrets, thinking about any clues that might give away where you couldve gone, but theres simply nothing

the shock moves into sorrow, then denial, and then it turns to anger. does he mean nothing to you? so much so that youd abandon him without saying a word?

its like he was going through the five stages of grief, but for someone who he knew was still alive..

eventually, he finds a rebound out of spite. if youve left him, then it's means he's free and single, right? he gets himself piss-drunk, and beds another, only to wake up feeling absolutely disgusted. it feels like... it feels like he's cheated on you. even though you're already gone. he's just a mess of conflicting emotions, and it lasts for so long.

the reason why he doesnt hire someone or use some other underhanded method to actually look for you is because of a weird mixture of both his pride and feelings of insecurity, thinking that maybe, just maybe, you do deserve someone better, someone who understands you more... (and he's also fearful that someone like you, might've already found love somewhere else, and he's definitely not confident that he'll be able to act maturely if he sees its true)

eventually, acceptance does come... but does it really?

i like to think he went through many failed relationships, his partners always leaving him upon witnessing him getting intoxicated and calling for none other than your name in his state. someone who no one around him knows anymore.

years pass, and time really does allow you to forget. for both you and sukuna alike. in your mid thirties, both of you are single at this time.

you've been busy with your new job at some company (dont ask me, i was too lazy to decide what kind, so u guys can make this one up bye), and he made sure to keep himself busy as well. no time for fleeting romance.

of course, until fate does that weird thing where it pushes people together again... a new project lands in your lap, where it involves some kind of collaboration with THE celebrity, ryomen sukuna. of fucking course.

you really did desperately try to get it off and pass this off to some other colleague but they insisted your involvement was necessary. what are you supposed to do? you almost decide to quit... but this job means a lot to you... you can't just throw everything away because of an ex... right?

and, oh my god, when the first meeting does happen, involving the celebrity himself, you and a couple other coworkers to discuss the project, sukuna sees you and his brain short circuits for a moment.

he starts doubting his own vision, and then he reminisces, in the middle of whatever the fuck everyone else was talking about during the meeting.

"... Mr. Ryomen?" one of the other participants ask.

he clears his throat, regains his composure and regathers his focus. he's an actor for god's sake. and he starts speaking, with thoughts of you in the back of his mind. about how much youve changed, but also remained exactly the same...

during introductions, you shake his hand and act professionally. his eye twitches. will you continue to pretend not to know him even afterwards? should he talk to you separately after this? no... doing that would mean he's the desperate one...

when you saw sukuna hesitating, part of you felt relieved. so you're not the only one getting freaked out. you don't expect him to acknowledge you anymore, though.

after the meeting, he walks out feeling confident that he's going to ignore you back, if this was the kind of game you're going to play with him. you mean nothing to him, just as he means nothing to you.

but he remembers the shock that went down his spine at the feeling of the warmth in your hand. he watches you take an elevator by yourself, and tries to make a split second decision on whether he wants to let you go, or if he wants to chase you down.

he probably shouldn't bother.

but he impulsively speed walks down towards you, anyway.

youre startled when the elevator doors are blocked from closing just at the last second, with someone's arm coming through between. your heart skips a beat seeing that it's none other than sukuna.

what is this sensation? this mix of fear and... excitement. you should be unperturbed. you're over him. he's someone from the past. you're buzzing with these feelings, but there also comes a creeping resentment that finds its way to you again, as you try to remember why you left him in the first place.

he unclicks whatever level you were heading to, and clicks on the highest level instead. he's gonna take you to the rooftop of the building, where he can confront you peacefully.

"Mr. Ryomen? Is there something wrong?" you ask him. still feigning ignorance. like salt to a wound. you know its another petty move from your part, but you can't help yourself.

"Don't call me that. You know damn well why I'm here," Sukuna drawls, sounding more sad than angry. they've really become strangers.

you grow silent, being hit with a pang of guilt. deep down, you knew you shouldve handled it more maturely than that. he deserved closure, and you needed it too. but isn't it too late for all that now?

the conversation flows tense, but unravels slowly. there's still a lot of questions being withheld though. he wants to ask you how youve been. were you able to sleep peacefully after you left him? why did you have to leave in the worst way possible?

a familiar headache creeps up.

simultaneously, the anger finds its way in his heart all over again. he knows he didn't do much good towards the end of their relationship either but ghosting him was plain disrespectful and childish.

you surprise him when you give a sudden heartfelt apology.

you tell him that you know apologising now after all these years is frankly almost meaningless but still, he didnt deserve to be left behind in that kind of way. you admit that you should've communicated with him properly that you were breaking up with him.

he's left kinda speechless, bc he was so ready to be all snarky to you after everything.. he's still mad, but he can't really say shit anymore without sounding like too much of an asshole.

truth be told, if you did stay around to tell him that you were breaking up with him beforehand, he probably wouldn't have let you go... where would you guys be now, if you never separated?

"i've always wanted to apologise. it's been weighing on me ever since i left."

...and yet, you didn't ever think to call or text him even once afterwards? he never changed his number in hopes for that, and he hates himself for it.

"i understand that you hate me now, but let's try to get through the collaboration without trouble. and then we can part ways again."

that one pierces his heart, like a bullet. you haven't said anything technically wrong. he should hate you. or at least, he should feel indifferent by now. and yet... the way that you automatically assume so irks him badly.

"do you really believe that i hate you? aren't you the one that hates me?"

it's a stupid fucking question. what the fuck is he even saying? he wants to kick the elevator door.

"...i left because i thought you hated me, that you didn't need me anymore. and i tried to convince myself that i hated you too. but that couldn't be further from the truth. even now, i don't ha-"

before you can say any more, the elevator doors open, and a small group of employees are standing outside them, looking curiously in at you and sukuna. then, they realise who he is. they come flocking in, asking for autographs and pictures.

you quietly slip out of the crowd, and after giving one quick glance at sukuna, who visibly wants to pursue you again, you walk away to avoid gathering attention on yourself. wait-! dammit- he thinks.

he can't chase after you. he can't call out for you to stop. he can't push all of these people away. if he did, it will cause rumours and unfavourable articles to fly out. let's try to get through the collaboration without trouble. his own fame becomes another obstacle between you and him.

back then, you were his whole world, yet somewhere along the path, he started to fail in making you feel like it.

he watches you take the fire exit towards the emergency stairs, while he's surrounded by overbearing fans who beg for his attention. you're going to have to walk down in your heels, all because of him. as he catches the final glimpse of you, as he's reluctantly dealing with his fans, he begins to understand, a little bit. he didn't want to understand why you decided to leave him. but he does now. a little.

a couple of stairwells down, you eventually pause for a moment and sit down on the last step to take a breather. you wipe your sweaty palms against your skirt. the familiar tug at your heart, in which your insecurities come flowing back to you, seeing him surrounded. you need to build higher, stronger walls around you from now.

when sukuna is done on his end, and sends them off down the elevator, he goes off to check down the stairs you went, but you've already booked it. slipped right through his fingers. you were about to say something important. with unresolved feelings, sukuna also takes the stairs down, with a heavy heart. each step down brings him another old, nostalgic memory of you to him.

from then on, the more he interacts with you during work-related matters, the more apparent it becomes that he still harbors feelings for you. he tries to ignore it, push it back down, but it only returns twice as overwhelming.

your voice. the way you smile. the scent of your perfume. exactly the same as back then. yet, he also observes the changes that have occurred in you; how you act, speak and the kinds of words you use, as well as seeing you in such a professional setting rather than personal - everything is coming together to allure him more, and he's in a state where he's unable to resist this attraction, but also unable to act on it, because he's not sure how you'd react to it.

he knows it's not just him getting drunk on nostalgia.

the next time he catches you alone, he makes sure to tell you that he doesn't hate you like you believe he does. you'd never admit it, but that gave you butterflies in your stomach.

in fact, everything sukuna does, even just locking eyes with you for a few seconds, is enough to make your heart rate increase, intensifying when he looks at you almost like... almost like he wants you. you must be imagining things.

he finds himself doing uncharacteristic deeds, like sending coffee for all the staff members. his manager passes them out to everybody, including you. he doesn't know if you still like your coffee the same way as he remembers, but he makes sure that yours is a little different, a little more specific than everyone else's, in hopes that you'll notice these small gestures of his.

over the course of the project, he inches closer to you, ever so slowly. but you don't seem to budge. even worse, you seem to be avoiding him as much as you possibly can. you avert your gaze from his. stagger away when he gets close.

he brings it up on one occasion, when he's able to approach you at the back of the building, where there's no one around, and no watchful eyes of a nosy audience. it's definitely frustrating and unpleasant- when he wants to speak with you, he has to keep distance in case another scandal rises. he doesn't want to drag you into the spotlight, without knowing if you're okay with it first.

sukuna only really talks to you when there's nobody around. maybe he's being considerate of you, but it gives you the impression that he doesn't want to be seen hanging around with you. it makes you remember things you don't want to. it makes you remember that being with him now requires a courage that you're not sure that you have. at the very least, you know you definitely didn't have it back then.

you keep conversations short with him, and try to leave. but he keeps at it persistently. what is he trying to do? is he toying with you?

"you're acting like you want us to get back together. don't do things that'll make me misunderstand," you tell him. you were trying to provoke him. expecting him to deny it harshly and back away, because you knew he was prideful- he'd never be caught being hung up over an ex.

"...and? what if i told you that i do want that? would you stop avoiding me then?" he takes one step forward, and you take one back, proving his point.

why is he pushing aside his ego for you? where did all his arrogance go off to? this isn't how the sukuna in his twenties would've responded. his answer makes you waver, and you don't appreciate that. you try not to show it.

"no. i'd only begin to avoid you even more. so don't start."

"i'm not," you deny, but your voice betrays you. he clings onto that.

"why? ...afraid that you'd cave in to me?"

like the way he's already pretty much caved in for you?

"you don't sound very convincing."

"...would you want someone who'd choose their career over you?"

that stops him in his tracks. he has nothing to say to that. because he did make that mistake. where he prioritised his job over your feelings.

"i don't hate or blame you for that anymore, sukuna. but you have to understand... i don't want to go through that pain ever again. i don't want to hold you back. we both deserve more compatible partners."

your own words sting yourself, and you try to go again right after saying that, because it's getting too much for you. his hand flies out to grab yours out of instinct, to stop you from leaving. leaving him again.

it's really not like him to be the clingy ex, pathetically begging to be taken back, but he's willing to throw such pride away if it means you'll be appeased. if you'll let him back into your life again.

"don't say that. you never held me back-- you were my home and my everything, and i was the one that started to take you for granted," he says gently, his low voice laced with sorrow, so uncharacteristically. you've only ever heard this kind of tone from him once before, and it was when his grandfather, who was like a parent to him, had passed away. his thumb brushes over your hand.

"give me another chance. this time i'll let the whole world know about us. about how much you mean to me."

he gets in close ever so slowly, and you let him, for only a moment, before gently pushing him away, with a hand on his chest.

sukuna hitches in a breath, heart sinking to his stomach. he wants to embrace you so, so, so bad. he needs your warmth. always has been. always will. but he sees that you're unrelenting, which breaks him.

"no, stop... i'm sorry, i can't."

you're still scared. you keep thinking about how lonely you felt when you were with him, at least right before the break up. seeing him laughing through the tv screen. alone in the living room. and all the arguments.

your hand slips out of his, and he lets you go. he feels empty when you walk away. hollow. the similar feeling he felt when you first left him, but less anguish and more despair. when he gets home, he tries to drink those feelings away. something he rarely does. old regrets and heartaches return, and he drinks until he passes out.

while he drinks, you weep. crying into your pillow, wondering if you're doing the right thing. wondering if this is how it's supposed to be. terrified of being with him again, but also terrified of losing him, like a hypocrite.

from then on, sukuna keeps a respectful distance from you... no longer trying to make approaches in secret, no longer pursuing you every chance he gets. but he still sends out coffee. even provides snacks to the crew. little do they know, they're the kinds of snacks that he knows you loved. hopefully, you still do. he'll keep his distance because it's what you want, but he wishes to keep doing these little things for you. subtly.

and you notice it, too. you have vivid memories of telling him about your favourites and preferences back then, and you recognise what he's trying to do. you drink the coffee. and you always grab a handful of the snacks. you do appreciate it. it makes you happy that he remembers. on a few occasions, you turn to look at him, only to witness him looking away at the last second.

it's not too long before the project is successfully finalised, and all their efforts have been rewarded. a celebration is due, and your boss throws a party at a fancy hotel for everyone to enjoy themselves at. sukuna had stopped going to so many gatherings and parties quite a while ago, but he attends knowing that you'll be there as well. he'll see you for the final time before he'll lose any excuses to be around you ever again. it'll be the final night.

you exchange a few words with him at the venue, but the two of you leave each other to mingle with other groups reluctantly, to avoid suspicion. both of you are quite tense all throughout the night, sipping on some wine to ease it, but it still doesn't relax the tension you feel, no matter how far away sukuna stands from you.

a few hours in, and you decide to excuse yourself early to head up into your designated hotel room. your boss covered the expenses for a night, and it would've been a waste to decline it, so you decided to stay. sukuna isn't around anywhere at the venue anymore, so you assume he's already left. you thought about saying farewell, but it didn't seem appropriate after you flat out rejected him. you still have doubts about the decision. because you miss him. but what's done is done, and you can't take back what you've already said.

however, getting to the hotel elevator, you notice he's standing there, with miraculous timing. you awkwardly "hey" him, and he says it back, hands in his pockets.

the two of you step inside when it arrives, and the thick tension remains.

"i'm surprised. i thought you'd be staying around longer for the party," you tell him.

he can't tell you that he found it unbearable, to see you hanging around other people, but being unable to get closer to you himself.

"i just got a bit tired," he lies. "did you have a lot to drink?"

"not at all. i had a few glasses, but i'm still sober."

"same here."

as the lift gets closer to your level, you get antsy, thinking about what to say before you leave, but your thoughts get interrupted when he asks you something abruptly.

"...can i walk you to your room? for the last time."

you swallow thickly on nothing, and feel how your chest aches at the words. last time.

"alright. sure," you say.

he wasn't expecting you to say yes, but he's glad you're letting him stay beside you a little longer. you're staring at the elevator doors, but he's looking at your face from the side. if only the lift would malfunction and stop, right here.

but it doesn't, and soon, he's really walking beside you as you get to your hotel room door, in silence. you unlock it using your key, and then that's it.

"thanks for walking me here," you say rather sheepishly. the thought of him wanting to spend even a few more seconds with you... your hold on the door knob is tight as you stand, face turned around to look at him. it's taking everything in you to stand your ground. last minute guilt and regrets are bombarding your thoughts, and...

"i'll say this now because i probably won't get another chance again," sukuna starts, looking directly into your eyes. his eyes are mellow, and he looks wistful.

"i'm sorry. i realised i never apologised, even though that's the first thing you did for me," he starts. he knows there's a mountain of reasons he is apologising for, but he decides he'll keep this short for your sake.

".. i can't lie to you and say that i wish for your happiness with someone else. 'm not that nice." you know it the best. and you understand, because you don't think you'd be able to withstand seeing him happy with someone else, either.

"find your happiness elsewhere, thanks," he grunts humorously. for god's sake. he's never been good at things like this. being heartfelt. at least it made you chuckle a bit. his expression of indignation melts away into a melancholic one again.

"i still love you." (always have, always will.)

you fight back sudden tears, and your throat begins to ache. sukuna unclenches his fist, and tries to relax himself more.

"and...i'll miss you," he breathes the phrase out. says it so quietly, like it hurts for him to say. (i don't want to let you go.)

something snaps within you and everything starts to scream at you to take everything back, and stop him from going away. don't go- don't go- don't go-

"...goodnight."

he notices your wet eyes, and he has to fight back against the urge to reach out and wipe it away. to rescind his farewell, and pull you into his arms again - forcefully, if he has to. he needs to leave, before he loses control.

you're panicking, and your vision is swimming, and you don't think you'll ever be happy again if you let him go like this-- you're gonna be heartbroken in the worst way imaginable. you want him back, and you know you're being unreasonable after turning him down like that, but you don't care anymore. you want to go against your fears. you want to try being with him again.

before you can stop yourself, your hand catches onto the hem of sukuna's sleeve, seconds before he takes another step away from you.

his eyes widen, and he looks at your grip on his sleeve, like he's checking to see if it's real, and he's not making this shit up in his mind. his heart beats impossibly fast. his hopes skyrocket. the world decided to have mercy on him.

"...you're being unfair, grabbing onto me like this. after i went through hell just now, trying to say goodbye." he's being awfully patient right now.

you don't respond, only silently weeping.

he waits to see if you'll let go, whether this was just an act out of a temporary fickle in your heart, but your grip remains tight, and you're now just looking up at him with tears rolling down, eyes glossy and desperate, pulling at his heart strings. you only let go when he comes back to you, not hesitant to brush his thumbs across your face now, wiping the wetness away.

"what do you want me to do? tell me, and i'll do it. leave? stay?" sukuna coos at you, like he's always done before, waiting patiently until you've calmed down enough to respond properly.

"i shouldn't... i shouldn't let you in. not after how much i'd pushed you away," you whisper. today was supposed to mark the end of it all.

he doesn't even give a fuck about that anymore. what matters is now.

"...but do you want to let me in?"

"...yes," you hic.

he takes a couple of steps forward, making you step back with him, his hand on your waist to make sure you don't trip on the way. he goes past the doorway and into your hotel room slowly. one- two- three- steps. he closes the door behind him quietly.

"and..? what next?" he asks in a low voice, standing close to you, one hand still remaining on your waist, and the other on your upperarm.

"i... i don't know. i just need you," you mumble, looking up at him, eyes red from crying and half-closed. your hands inch up along his back, grabbing handfuls of his suit jacket. sukuna hitches in a breath and something dark flashes across his eyes. they reflect his desire, his almost carnal desperation for you-

"forgive me. i don't think i can hold myself back, anymore."

he captures your lips in his, and groans shamelessly into you. you grip onto him tighter, heart beating so rambunctiously that you fear he can hear it too. it feels too good. the moment he reached you, it felt like the final piece of a puzzle clicking in to complete a full picture.

you part your mouth, and he wastes no time in slipping his tongue inside, kissing you in the way he knows you love, in the way it makes your lips tingle, and, oh god, even after all these years, he still knows how to get you going like no other.

sukuna tastes the traces of wine on your tongue, and even better, he tastes you, the one he'd been missing and craving all this time, the warmth of your skin and touch, your scent, just everything about you, you, you.

he backs you towards the bed, without breaking this breathless, hungry kiss, where he softly lays you down, with him being above you, chest to chest, arms supporting his weight. he momentarily pulls away from you simply just to breathe, and the two of you gaze at each other for a hot second, full of love and lust, breaths overlapping one another. he attempts to ask you "do you still wanna continue?" just in case, but before he gets to say a word, you grab him by his tie and pull his lips to yours again, beginning to loosen it and take it off.

he understands that you want it, now. you successfully manage to untie it, somehow, with just willpower alone, and you start aiming for his buttons next, undoing them one by one. your actions send sparks down to all of his limbs, and he feels so fulfilled by your desire of him, being as intense as how he obsesses over you.

soon after you're done with it, he takes them off and chucks his own clothes away, rendering him half-naked. your hole clenches around nothing at the sight once he pulls away again, his firm muscles and the same old tattoos that you vividly remembered the patterns of. you greedily run your palms across his pecs, eyes turning to hearts. he smirks at you.

it's his turn now, and he doesn't hesitate to start undressing you as well. sukuna gets dizzy at the thought of being able to feast his eyes on your body. he dives in to keep kissing you, and then begins to unbutton you with such speed, it almost startles you.

it's off. your breasts are out in the open now, and sukuna has his fill with massaging them with his large hand, having missed them so much. his palm feels so hot, and your nipples pebble up at his touch, making you gasp into his mouth.

his kiss moves over to the side of your face, it glides down your neck, shoulders, and eventually reaches the swell of your chest. your fingers brush through the pink of his hair as he does so, and you purse your lips together, basking in the feeling of his warm kisses littering your skin. he leaves you hickeys-- the same shape and size and same locations as he used to even during your days in highschool, and you chuckle to yourself at the thought.

it's not long before he's loosening your skirt and slipping your undergarments down, getting rid of your slick-stained panties, much to his satisfaction. sukuna rubs a thumb over your aroused clit, and you whimper, having missed the touch of a man- his touch specifically.

"fuck... you're so wet.... all for me?" he asks, proceeding to slip two fingers into your weeping hole. you arch your back at the feeling, how his thick digits scissor inside of you and press up against a particularly lovely spot. he watches your every response as he does so, watching how you moan because of his touch, and how you're grabbing at his wrist because it's getting too intense. his cock prods uncomfortably against his pants. you're producing so much slick, and his fingers are getting absolutely drenched.

when he takes them out, you whine a little in disappointment.

"i know, i know. i'll give you something better," he whispers, kissing your cheek.

he unbuckles himself, and lowers his boxers to reveal his aching dick, tip wet with precum, veins bulging out the sides. looks the same as you remember. he pumps it a couple of times with his hand that's still covered with your slick, and he twitches. this isn't a dream, is it?

"oh god, please, i need it-" you plead, your hole feeling eager and empty.

"it's all yours," he mumbles. your begging makes him lightheaded as he lines himself up at your weeping cunt.

"i'm all yours."

when he sinks in deep to the hilt, you cry out at the fullness, as his tip pushes the spot inside you that had been feeling so lonely for years. your hands finds themselves against his back, feeling for his tight muscles.

"shit- 'm gonna lose my mind," sukuna groans as he gives a few shallow thrusts into you, cock so hard and throbbing wildly as your plush walls clamp on him and coats him with your arousal. he grabs one of your hands from his back and interlocks his fingers with yours against the mattress, before leaning down to bring his lips against the side of your neck.

"oh, thank god... thank god, you changed your mind. i love you. i would've been so fucking miserable without you, doll. for the rest of my life," he croons, breath fanning so close to your ear. you shudder at the tone of his voice, tearing up again, mixed with pleasure and relief, and you grab his hand tighter.

you turn your head a little more to the side, making it easier for sukuna to bite and suck on the sensitive skin of your neck, as his thrusts increase in speed, nudging your g-spot with every movement.

soon enough, he's bringing his attention back to your tongue, which he caresses with his own, nibbling on your lower lip, maintaining this same perfect pace in his thrusts that brings you closer to your orgasm.

"sukuna- i'm- i'm gonna-" you say breathlessly.

but he merely kisses you again, swallowing up any words you could say or moans you could let out, not minding the gasps and whimpers that you make.

sweat beads on his perfect body, and he makes out with you through your high, groaning back when he feels your walls flutter around him. he's close. even once you've finished cumming, he begins to pound into you quicker, wanting to get to his own orgasm. you claw at his back, crying out in pleasure, as sukuna's tongue lathers your jawline.

he wants to breed you so fucking bad. but no, that'll have to wait. he can't do something to jeopardize your trust in him. he'd rather die than endure another second of being distanced from you again.

right before he's pushed off the edge, sukuna pulls out and desperately jerks himself off above your stomach, panting as his cock throbs in his hand with every spurt that coats you, feeling so hot against your tummy.

you feel a twinge of disappointment, because you also wanted to feel that in your womb...

his dick twitches weakly after being spent, and he breathes heavily, liking the sight of you being covered in his seed for another time. (and many more from now.)

" 'kuna... it's a safe day for me today," you suggest to him without thinking. "i want it inside me..."

the phrase is enough to get heat pooling in his abdomen, and he feels himself get hard all over again.

"you sure, doll? if it's what you want, i'll..." he begins to say, almost flustered by your suggestion. you know you shouldn't say this next line, but it's so easy to get carried away with this man... get caught up in the heat of the moment.

"i want your babies so bad."

you've hit his switch. sukuna growls and puts you into a mating press instantaneously, making you squeak.

"no takebacks," he mutters dangerously, beginning the second round.

the night is long, but heavenly, as soon after he dumps everything he has into your womb, then proceeds to eat you out, making you cry for the third time before sunrise.

when you're awake, it's already heading past midday, and you're relieved to see that yesterday's happenings were not a dream, seeing as the large man is sleeping with an iron hold around your body, as if subconsciously afraid you'd leave him before he woke up again.

he awakens from his slumber to your light, feathery touches on his face, which puts him in a good mood from the moment he opens an eye. it was the scenario he's always dreamed of. waking up next to you, smiling.

there's much to talk about. about what's to come next, future plans, worries, and things they need to do to make amends for all the lost years between each other. but you decide to take things slow.

back to bullet points again bc im lazy to write it properly now

you spend the weekend w him at the hotel and stuff, just playing eating and sleeping, catching up yk

he tells you on his own accord that he wants to let everyone know that he's with you now, but he's worried that it'll bring backlash to you but you tell him you're going to be brave and take it, bc you WANT everyone to know

anyway prepare for turbulence

but everything'll be alright bc hes with you

im thinking about how mopey he'll be when you have to separate from him bc you each have your own homes rn, hes always asking you to come over or if he can come over to your place

and he'll be begging you to move in soon, like old times (he lives in a rich man house now tho)

and also thinking about how its a fresh start, but they also go through old memories and now reminiscing isnt painful anymore bc yall are back together

sukuna also says he's stopped doing romance genres in acting bc he had felt annoyed acting in lovey dovey scenes when his own love life used to be in shambles all the time

and bc hes at a point in his career where he has more choice in choosing between scripts that are offered to him, he's going to continue to decline the ones that have love interests, it doesnt affect him that much anyway

he's just being more considerate of your feelings now... and you promised him that you'll never just disappear like that again when you're upset haha...

sometimes when you still have a few disagreements with him, he keeps subtly checking up on you (hes traumatised, leave him be)

lots of facetiming when he has to go overseas for filming purposes <3

okay, thats all, bye <3

Masterlist

#sukuna x reader #sukuna smut #sukuna #sukuna x you #ryomen sukuna x reader #sukuna x y/n #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #ryomen sukuna #jujutsu kaisen x y/n #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen smut #poe answers

[quokkawritesarchive]

BE MY VALENTINE — SEUNGMIN.

pairing: seungmin x reader(afab) genre: smut, NSFW warnings: sub!seungmin, dom!reader, nerdy seungmin, dirty talk, face slapping, dacryphilia, oral (f. receiving), dildo (s. receiving), handcuffs, dry humping a/n: it’s part of my valentine’s collab!

in your mind seungmin has always been the nerdy guy, who handled all assignments in time, never skipped a class and was against any situationships. but objectively he was hot as fuck.

it was the beginning of your second year of university, when you two met. it was one of those tropes, when popular girl starts dating a nerdy guy; besides, you were not popular, but he was very nerdy indeed.

you felt like the most desperate woman on earth, when you took your precious time to get him into dating you. but it was worth it. he became the perfect boyfriend — always taking care of you, cooking for you, holding doors for you, buying stuff for you. and most importantly taking things slow.

it was still a surprise to you how he agreed on dating in the first place, with him being so focused on studying all the time. but you didn’t rush him in any way, trusting the process. you already held hands multiple times and even started making out heavily last month. you could feel he was ready for a bigger step, but he just needed a little push.

that’s how you thought valentine’s day’ would help you. two of you spent the entire day together. aquarium date (that he suggested of course), then restaurant, and then the movie night at his place.

you found yourself being glued to him under blanked, head on his shoulder, legs thrown over his, while his palm rested on your hip. you’d lie if you said you weren’t incredibly turned on already. the heat was radiating from between your legs and you were squirming in place from time to time. seungmin was paying attention to the movie, of course. he chose to watch some national geographic documentary, which was a weird choice for 14th february, but you didn’t mind. as long as it made him happy. you glanced at his focused expression — the tv screen was reflecting on his glasses. it was even hotter how he wasn’t aware of his own attractiveness. to be fair, nothing is hotter than the guy, who is unaware of his own attractiveness.

sometimes seungmin was clingy, but mostly distant and trying to stay composed. you couldn’t quite figure out why, because as he told you, he had dated before, so it was not like he was a panicking virgin. what was he hiding?

“y/n… stop. i see what you’re doing.” he grabbed your wrist just when you could get to a piece of his skin under his t-shirt. fuck.

“i’m not doing anything.” you smiled cheekily. he caught you so quickly, you couldn’t even slightly touch him under the blanket. he was like a touch police, guarding your every movement.

seungmin rolled his eyes as a response and brought your hands back to the surface, holding them tightly.

“why are you so grumpy? don’t you like when i touch you?” it actually hurt you a little how he avoided your touch.

“i do, but it’s not the right time. let’s focus on the movie.” he replied with a smile. like his dumb smile could fix your growing anger. you needed his dick, not his smile.

“fine. just keep avoiding me like i am not your actual girlfriend.” annoyed and irritated you stood up heading towards the door of the living room.

“where are you going?” seungmin immediately asked.

“home.” you tried not to sound so hurt, but you couldn’t hide it anymore. why was he avoiding you? were you not attractive enough for him? were you not good enough? was he embarrassed of you?

“hey… are you alright?” suddenly you felt his hands wrapping around you from behind. he brought you closely to his chest, resting his face in the crook of your neck. even this simple action cause a wave of goosebumps on your skin. you sighed.

“min, i love you. thank you for today, it’s been perfect, really. but… i don’t think i can do this anymore.“

you heard seungmin’s breath quicken and you turned around to face him directly.

“but why?” he said, eyes filled with worry.

“i understand that you want to take things slow, but sometimes it just hurts when i can’t even touch you.” you cupped his cheek. “at least explain why i can’t touch you… please…”

the sigh that seungmin let out didn’t bode any good. he really did not want to answer you, but he had no other option now.

taking a few steps away from you, he started walking in circles, annoying you even more. what was all this drama for? you crossed your arms, annoyed he was taking so long and also annoyed that you genuinely wanted to know the answer. you couldn’t just leave now.

you were halfway convinced he was trying to come up with a lie when he finally threw his arms up in surrender.

“i’m… a pervert. i am a freak, whatever you wanna call it. my dick is hard every fucking time i see you, but that’s not the problem, because i know you also want to have sex with me.”

“so?” you said slowly, still annoyed. “what’s the problem then?”

“i… like mean women. i like when women are mean… to me. i like when they hurt me and make me cry. it… gets my dick hard. but i have never found a partner who was ready to go all the way. everyone is so scared to hurt me. and i don’t think you can be mean to me. so i didn’t even consider having sex with you, because normal sex is boring…”

“normal sex is… boring?” you said, flustered at his admission.

“yeah… ugh, well… i don’t think you’ll like what i like.” he fixed his glasses, finally meeting your eye contact.

“explain in words, min. i can’t read your mind. what do you like?”

seungmin sighed in frustration, fixing his glasses again. “use me, punish me, edge me, be mean. i don’t want to be just treated harshly, i wants to be broken. that’s what i like.”

his voice dropped lower and lower as his eyes flicked down to your lips. you couldn’t believe what you just heard.

“min, are you sure?”

“hundred percent.” he said, still staring at your lips.

well, you can’t deny your man’s needs.

the make out session turned out heavier than ever. you quickly made your way to the bedroom, stripping parts of clothing as you were walking. his tongue was all over your mouth, clearly ready to be used. you’ve never seen yourself as a dom, so your mind was having a hard time working out what you could do with seungmin right now. and you knew he’d let you.

the first slap to his face was so sudden, he even flinched.

“u okay?” you asked worryingly, lifting his chin up.

“more…” he said, looking at you with tearing eyes. “please…”

you grinned, immediately delivering his request. the series of slaps to his cheeks were fast, but precise, making him moan loudly every time your palm hit his skin. he has never had anyone treat him this rough. you’ve kept slapping him until you saw actual tears running down his cheeks. but even then he didn’t say a word, letting you destroy his face.

the result of your work was clear — red burning cheeks with traces of tears on them and swollen lips that he kept biting to muffle his moans.

your fingertips slowly grazed over the erection that’s been straining against his pants for a while now. he groaned at the feeling.

“aw, have you been hard this whole time?” you purred out and he growled again. your head was spinning at the sensation of sudden control. your boyfriend was all yours at it was driving you crazy.

“don’t act like you hadn’t noticed… fuck!” he exclaimed as you squeezed his cock hard through the fabric. “babe, please…”

“please what?” your hand rested right on top of his crotch, making him squirm uncontrollably.

“please, use me.“ seungmin’s mouth immediately fell open and his tongue lolled out in obedience. 

you shook your head in disappointment. “i need words, min.”

seungmin blinked a couple times before answering. “f-fuck my face pl-please.” 

“of course, baby.” you smiled, leaving a peck on his lips.

“just… one more thing…” his ears immediately became crimson at his words. you gave him a questioning look. “there is a… dildo in my drawer. do you mind using it on me? and… handcuffs as well…”

his cheeks were fully blushed by the end of the sentence. you looked at him in shock. no wonder he was scared to have sex with you. there was a lot to unpack here.

“oh…” was all you said making him swallow nervously. “where is it again? in the drawer?”

“y-yes…” seungmin nodded quickly. “are you okay with using all of this?”

“if you are okay with it, i am okay with it too.” you responded, reaching out to the drawer. indeed, there were a bunch of things straight from the sex shop. so much stuff you won’t even be able to use in one day.

while you were preparing everything, seungmin laid on his stomach with his legs spread. his head was spinning; the burn of his cheeks was making his erection grow even more.

you’ve never used handcuffs before, so it took you some time to figure it out. but in the end, you managed to shackle his hands behind his back. at this point you couldn’t tell if the blush on his cheeks was from the slapping that happened earlier, or from the position he had put himself into.

when you took the dildo, seungmin was already breathing heavily. his mind still couldn’t pick up the thought that this was really happening.

his hole was stretching really well and fast. it was obvious that he had used the toy multiple times before. the moans he was letting out were so pornographic that you felt your underwear sticking to your now wet pussy.

it was hard to believe what you were seeing: your boyfriend, your seungmin, nerdy, hates touch, shy seungmin was laying in front of your handcuffed with a dildo up in his ass.

you could tell he was already close just from being in this position. and you couldn’t blame him. that must have felt really good, because he was already whining and jiggling his hips in circular motion.

“aw, are you gonna cum already?” you asked in a pityfull manner. seungmin’s face flushed even more and he groaned, but didn’t stop his desperate movements, only growing more and more impatient.

he was trembling, waiting for your next movement. drools coated his lips, starting to drip down his mouth and onto his chin. you couldn’t see his face clearly from your position, but you bet he was rolling his eyes in ecstasy. his cock was flushed red and leaking with precum, rubbing uncomfortably against the bedsheets under his stomach.

“want to eat my pussy now, pretty boy?” you asked softly, smiling to yourself.

seungmin just hummed, already too dazed to respond from being restrained and filled up.

that was good enough response for you, so you crawled up front and laid with your pussy in front of seungmin’s face.

you didn’t even have to say anything, he immediately attacked his lips to your clit; he wanted nothing more than to please you now. 

oh he was so good at eating you out. you tried to stay composed, but were broken so quickly by his skilled tongue. when did he learn all of this?

he was switching between kissing and licking your clit, slowing down and speeding up when needed. he was kinda edging you, but you didn’t mind. the pleasure was flooding your senses, so you just let go.

seungmin was getting himself off by grinding his hips into the mattress. he looked so incredibly hot like this — with your juices dripping down his chin, eyes closed. he was so focused on eating you out.

it took only a few motions of his tongue to send you to your high. you let out a series of loud moans, bringing his head by the hair even closer to your pussy. seungmin came shortly after you, tongue never stopping; he kept fucking into the mattress, the motions helping the dildo hit the prostate. he finally accomplished his goal. he was, for the first time ever, wrecked. but that still wasn’t enough to fulfill his needs.

“can you slap me some more?” he uttered as soon as you let go of his head. “please?”

-> reblog to support me, if you enjoyed reading this and please let me know your thoughts in the comments! ♡

masterlist | taglist

TAGLIST (OPEN): @lvlnijiro @hanjisung-enjoyer @fun-fanfics @soonie1010 @noellllslut @newhope8 @channiebahngswife @chanscappuccino @vivioluh @rockstrhanji @yoontaethings @katsukis1wife @caitlyn98s

#stray kids #skz smut #skz x reader #seungmin x reader #seungmin smut #skz sub #stray kids smut #skz seungmin #valentines collab #be my valentine #skz x y/n

[hearts-are-connected]

Dang it, I love this ship and I love the enemies to lovers trope. I get that a lot of people see them as a surrogate father and daughter relationship, but it feels like a been there/done that kinda thing.

As much as I love that trope, I'm also a little tired of it. There's only so much Last of Us style found family I take after seeing it for so many years.

The thing I love about VaultGhoul or Ghoulcy is the idea of Lucy breaking down of Cooper's walls while he helps build hers up.

Is he incredibly cruel to her and those around him in the first season? Yes, extremely

Does he need to chill out and find some of his humanity that's been buried under 200+ years of wasteland survival and bitterness? Yes

Who can bring that needed direction to his life while learning the ways of the new world she finds herself in? Lucy MacLean

I know that the canon ship of the show at this moment is Lucy and Maximus, and as much as I love him, I find the pairing obvious and kind of boring from a story telling perspective. I loved it on my first viewing, but upon re-watching the series, I wasn't as behind it as before. I see their relationship, kiss and all, as a kind of first fling for the both of them.

While it doesn't diminish the care they show one another, there's not a lot behind them as a couple. Now I know that some people might turn around to say how she and Cooper spent less time together than her and Max, but I guess the thing I look forward to is seeing what their relationship brings with the second season.

I feel like Max and Lucy will have a great friendship and I'm interested to see where the Brotherhood fits into their dynamic as well.

With Cooper though, I find his story so tragic, as it's supposed to be. He's your standard hardened survivor who only looks out for himself that's now stuck with the happy-go-lucky main character, however, she's not that character anymore by the end. She's still going to be the Lucy we love, but she's changed by the end. While not losing her compassion and some optimism, I think Cooper is going to bring out a harsher side to her as we saw when she bit off his finger.

I want to see her building up her walls and learning when to let them down. How to truly survive while still bringing her own energy to the wasteland and people around her. I want to see Cooper regaining some lost humanity while learning to truly care for another person again. To see the two of them as eventual equals in one another's eyes as they continue on their journey as reluctant allies.

I also want to say that I'm personally kind of tired of the 'age gap' argument. We have stories of teenagers falling in love with hundred year old vampires. So can we just drop the age gap thing?

As long as they're both consenting adults who understand what they're getting themselves into, who cares about an age gap.

Does it truly matter in the scheme of things when we're talking about a world with cryo-stasis and super mutants?

I personally don't think so.

I don't know if anyone will even bother reading this entire thing, and I know I went on a little long, but I wanted to write down my thoughts on the whole shipping situation with the Fallout TV show fandom at this moment.

I'm a VaultGhoul shipper and I can't wait to see where the second season takes our main trio of characters.

#fallout show #fallout amazon #ghoulcy #lucy x cooper #vaultghoul #cooper howard #lucy maclean #a ghoul and his girl #a girl and her ghoul #I ship it #Can't wait for season 2

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I Gave a 10/10 to a BL... me!

Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Nov 2023 Wk 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

My Dear Gangster Oppa (Thurs iQIYI) ep 4 of 8 - I love this show. I adore Tew's the simple backstory. No frills. No fuss. He got dragged in the way many do and he can kill so they kept him. They aren’t trying to make it needlessly complicated (which is rare for Thailand). That said, the pacing is way tf off, the emotional arc is rushed and then sappy out of absolutely nowhere. Before you ask, the kiss is not at issue, we halfway through they should be kissing, but the romantic life changes - too soon. But I don’t care. Finally, they left us this ep reminded of 2 v important things,

this pair kisses beautifully

in BL all mafia be gay

Fun fun!

Last Twilight (Fri YT) ep 2 of 12 - It's official, I love this. It’s a classic caregiver/bodyguard trope where one of them is opening the other one up to the world, but sweetly. I’m enjoying the softness of JimmySea's take and I hope GMM TV takes its cues from the success of My School President and doesn’t push this particular show into rough or edgy territory. Stay on target GMMTV. Don't mess with my bias again!

Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 3 of 10 - Finally, our adorable side couple has emerged! This show remains engaging without losing pace (despite the main couple being slow burn), which is all I want from a Thai pulp, and more I could ask for currently from a sports BL. 

(Note: when I dictate the computer always puts "Thai pope" instead of Thai pulp - this is hilarious to me.)

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 1 of 14 - I guess they didn’t strip the omegaverse out of this. Unfortunately, I’m not an omegaverse fan, so I find its presence extremely off putting. (But it’s kind of amazing that somebody finally put one on our screen.) Unsurprisingly, it’s a lot of alpha posturing and hyper masculinity, because that’s what this kind of worldbuilding is an excuse for (lazy writing and lazier characterization). This means I don’t like Babe AT ALL except that he’s smell orientated and a bit verse. Way is lovely tho, because Nut is a great soft screen presence amongst the testosterone haze. 

Middleman’s Love (Fri YT & iQIYI ep 2 of 8 - I’m not gonna lie (when have I ever bothered to lie to you all?) I’m struggling with this show. The sound effects are getting worse. That is not allowed. Still I found this installment slightly more bearable than the last last, probably because there was more of the cast in play and less of Jade being too cringe to live. 

Absolute Zero (Weds iQIYI) ep 8 of 12 - AKA temporal paradox of pain.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Friends Forever ep 13 of 24 - Ooo it’s a bit of a teacher/student (coach/player) thing. Linguistic negotiation and kinkification of phi. Also actually kinky. But not consensually. Gonna get dark. Bummer. 

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 1 of 14(!) eps - Whines. Must I? Gaga doesn’t have a skip ahead button. Sad sack main characters really do not work for me. But this was better than I expected. I wasn’t expecting much. 

Look: This is helmed by Cheewin (shudder) with screenplay by Den (Only Friends - shudder the second) under Copy A Bangkok (they deserve not my shuddders). It's gonna be a shizz show people. It's Thai dark War of Y style - my least favorites. Apparently, there is meant to be a "plot" but when has Cheewin ever bothered with plot?

On a completely different note does the blond look like that Korean actor/idol from At a Distance Spring is Green & Wanna One to anyone else? Or is it just me? (Park Ji Hoon)

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

A Breeze of Love (Korea iQIYI) eps 3-4 of 8 - I like it a lot. Dongwook is so obtuse and socially awkward and reserved and needy and Dohyun is so gay over and simultaneously wildly confused by this behavior. Fantastic. A bit stiff, even for Korea, btu I'm okay with it since everything else I'm watching right now is decidedly NOT stiff.

I finished it!

Let's Eat Together Aki and Haru AKA Aki wa Haru to Gohan wo - Japan BL movie 1.5 hr

Best friends life together during university - cheerful sunshine loves to cook, grumpy tsundere loves to eat. Aki is a bit manic pixie dream boy for me (not my favorite archetype) but they’re cute and it’s one of those Japanese slice of life pieces like Our Dining Table that isn’t really a romance in fact it’s barely a drama. This isn’t friends to lovers because they’re basically already in a relationship (which everyone around them knows) they just aren’t fucking. I did spend a lot of time worrying that they weren’t eating any green things whatsoever. In the end this isn’t my thing when there’s no kissing at all, and this was a bit too dull even for JBL. Sorry Japan, one cannot trade on cute and cheese alone. I know, you want to. But that's not a BL or a personality. 6/10 

I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan, maybe coming to Netflix) 8 eps - This classic friends-to-lovers BL is everything Japan does best. Angsty. Emo. Aching. Driven by real thirst. Yamato is deeply in love with his childhood bestie, Kakeru, and has been for ages, unable to hide his ungainly damaging high school need. He wants Kakeru in every way possible and it oozes off of the screen. Kakeru is silly and a little simple, but not frenetic or overly camp about it. He is earnest, and genuinely wants to keep Yamato in his life which means giving a romance (and gayness) a fair chance. We watch him realize his affection and what form it can take in a truly authentic way. This show was impossibly kind to both of its lead characters and I felt honored that I got to watch something so lovely and rare play out on my screen.

I LOVE LOVE LOVED THIS. IT'S SO GOOD.

10/10

Let me be perfectly clear: I have watched 646 BLs and only handed out nine 10/10s.

I talk more about why this one made the cut, here.

It's Airing But...

One Room Angel (Japan Gaga) 6 eps - adaptation of Harada’s manga (which I did not like) about a clerk who's stabbed, nearly dies, and returns home to find an angel waiting for him. With only 5 eps and a good chance this won’t end happy, I'm gonna wait and let you tell me how it goes.

SHADOW (Thai Gaga) 14 eps - I'm not wild about Thai horror (or horror at all) even one featuring Singto and Fluke. I'm holding off on this one and if told it's good I'll binge later.

Beyond The Star (Weds iQIYI) 8 eps - House of Stars meets Boyband. I was NOT impressed. Waiting to be told if I should bother.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - I find this series more fun to binge, so I'm waiting until it completes its run.

Next Week Looks Like This

STARTING

11/20 Bake Me Please (Mon Gaga) ep 1 of 6 - trailer here, stars Ohm (of OhmFluke) opposite Guide (bestie from IFYLITA). This looks like an actually gay version of Antique Bakery (play it again, BL). I'm intrigued, it looks HELLA pretty.

11/22 7 Days Before Valentine (Weds ????) ep 1 of 10 - trailer here, horror-esk. Adapted from y-novel of the same name, directed by Tu (180 Degree) stars Jet (Why You… Y Me?). When you want your old love again, but fate sends you a reaper instead. All he can do for you is kill people. I'll likely give this a pass and wait to binge if safe.

11/24 VIP Only (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - Screenplay by Lin Pei Yu (WBL) about a chef who courts a shy writer with spicy beef noodles.

11/25 The Sign (Sat ????) ep 1 of 10 - trailer here, horror-esk, but with a suspense and adult characters. Special investigators who loved each other in previous lives reunite in new bodies. Stars Billy Patchanon (BillySeng) & Babe Tanatat (new). Includes other SCOY favorites as a special investigation team. I may give this a try (depending on distribution) because I'm into the non-horror bits.

11/26 The Whisperer (Sun ????) 1 of 10 - trailer here. Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). He has dimples (My Ride) but I don't think even that gives me the will. You can tell me how this goes.

11/26 Cooking Crush (Sun YT) 1 of 12 - OffGun are back, trailer here. Adapted from the novel “Love Course! เสื้อกาวน์รุกเสื้อกุ๊กรับ” by iJune4S this is about Prem who runs a not-so-popular restaurant with 2 friends. About to go on a cooking competition with a huge reward, Prem gets involved with Ten, a stressed-out med student who wants Prem to teach him to cook.

Still Coming November BL

11/30 For Him (Thurs ????) ep 1 of 10 - high heat trailer, I suspect iQIYI will scoop this one up. From the people who brought us Unforgotten Night (please no) based on a y-novel, man nursing a heartbreak has a one-night stand, but the other boy didn't want it to end. It looks terribly trashy so I'm in! Maybe I'll do a trash watch?

Nov 2023 line up with screen caps here. Not kept updated.

Original 2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

To be fair this was last week but I did get the screen shot until now. (You are Mine)

I Cannot Reach You serving all Japan's favorite tropes plus some very un-Japan decent kisses.

(Last week)

#this week in bl #bl updates #bl review #I Cannot Reach You #Japanese BL #You Are Mine #Taiwanese BL #Let's Eat Together Aki and Haru #Let's Eat Together Aki and Haru review #2023 bl #upcoming bl #My Dear Gangster Oppa #Thai Bl #Last Twilight #GMMTV #Twins the series #Pit Babe #Playboyy #A Breeze of Love

[george-weasleys-girl]

Hi! Can i have wordsmith (the new event) about one bed trope with George weasley

I had such fun writing this request! Thank you for sending it in.

Warnings: none, just the fluffiest of fluff

George Weasley x Fem!reader

~•~

Pillow Fort

"Okay, hear me out… I say we build a pillow fort." George suggested.

"What?" The comment took Y/N by surprise.

"I reckon if we're stuck sleeping in the living room, we should at least make it fun."

"Umm, yeah. Ok," her mouth curled up into a smile. "But, might I remind you, you didn't actually have to sleep down here. You gave up your bed."

"And happily so. I wasn't going to leave my favorite person to suffer trying to sleep in the same room as my cousin. The boy snores like a freight train."

"Oh, well, thank you for thinking of me," Y/N giggled and fussed with the blanket in her hands, hoping to hide her blush.

She and George became friends after she opened up a bakery across the street from his and Fred's joke shop. It wasn't long before she'd developed a crush on the sweet, funny redhead. But he was dating someone else at the time, and even after they split up, George never expressed any romantic interest in her. So, she kept her feelings to herself.

~•~

The idea of sharing a bed or, in this case, a pillow fort simultaneously exhilarated and panicked her. What if she mumbled out her secret in her sleep? Or unintentionally cuddled up to him? What would he think? Would it scare him away? The thought terrified her, but what could she do, except hope for the best?

After getting everything set up, they'd started up a movie marathon, but Y/N fell asleep halfway through the third movie. George didn't mind. He muted the TV, choosing to leave it playing silently so that he could gaze at her face while she slept. He'd never seen her asleep before and it filled him with such a rare sense of peacefulness that it calmed all the chaos within him, and the words he'd held in for so long came spilling out unbidden.

"Y/N, you are truly the most incredible woman I've ever met. Smart, funny, sexy as hell, and your heart - damn, your heart. It's so soft and sweet. Just being in your presence makes me want to be a better man." He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "I love you, Y/N."

"Love you too," she mumbled and snuggled into his side.

~•~

Y/N hadn't quite fallen asleep when she heard George speak the words she'd dreamed to hear but never expected.

She did her best to keep her galloping heart under control and pretend that she was actually sleeping. But his gentle kiss and his confession of love did her in completely, and she found herself unable to hold back from doing the thing she both desired and feared most.

George's whole being went rigid for a few seconds, and then he wrapped his arms tighter around her, melting into her embrace with a contented sigh. Y/N smiled to herself and did the same.

~•~

The following morning, Y/N awoke to find her face inches from George's, and her body tangled up with him in a glorious puzzle of arms and legs. He was already awake and smiled when she opened her eyes. "Morning, bedhead," he mummered.

Her face went from pink to bright vermillion in a matter of seconds. "Oh dear, I must look a mess," she apologized.

"But a beautiful one," George pushed a stray hair behind her ear. "Do you... um... do remember anything that I said last night after you fell asleep?"

"I wasn't asleep," she smiled. "And yes, I remember every word."

"So, you meant what you said?"

Y/N's smile widened, and she nodded.

"Does that mean I can kiss you?"

"You don't even have to ask," she giggled and met him halfway.

~•~

@milivanili99 @fancy-pantaloons @turvi @zvummyummy @xmjthewitchx @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @georgie-weasley @samberriejams @nighttimemoonlover @jsjcue @wzrd-wheezes @mrsgweasley @hufflepuffie @morally-grey-obsessed @fredweasleyyyyy @anvaaryn @lastwandastan @samshifts @asuperconfusedgirl @hmisa11 @superduckmilkshake @mysticsheepsoul @gemofthenight @1lellykins @junerprsh @sierraluvz @wolfkill16 @kaysau2510 @qmylovexoxo @planetkt @costheticbabe @drama-queen-fromthevault @thatonepersonwhocantwrite @smallsweetvanillabean @themaraudersslut @hanne-montana @greenapplegrass @el-de-phi @lizzytrees @scooby-doo1995 @phant0mkitsune @spididerman @Yoursarahg

#george weasley #george weasley x reader #george weasley x y/n #george weasley x fem!reader #george weasley x you #george weasley fluff #hp fandom #hp universe #one year celebration

[angel-of-the-moons]

Nothing Is Lost

Khonshu x Fem!Reader

TW/CW: Burnout, exhaustion, overworked (aren't we all?) shit gets a wee bit too relatable

A/N: Did I spend too much time looking through how the gods were worshipped? Yes, yes I did. Do I finally have a way to vent the weird feelings I have about the angry bird man? Also yes.

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Chapter 1:

Dust and Echoes

Day after day, night after night. The dreadful tedium of your life was not lost on you. The same job every night, the same work that left knots and tension in your back and muscles, your arms feeling like they were about to fall off and your feet feeling like you had holes drilled into the bottoms...

You couldn't work during the day, it was just simply not in your schedule. No matter how you tried, it was hard to stay awake during the day.

You had a severe case of insomnia, no doctor you went to (when you could afford them, which you barely could) could prescribe anything that would help you sleep. You even tried hypnosis. That was wild.

The dude said you flipped out and started talking in another language, and he was half tempted to call the church on you! That memory was always good for a laugh.

Could be worse, you supposed.

After all, your night job was cleaning a small office building (four floors, and your coworkers almost never helped) which meant mostly deserted floors and dozens of vacant cubicles.

It was kind of relaxing in a way, you could plug in your headphones, blast your favorite tunes and just go off into your own little world while you cleaned.

The world which you concocted was one many overworked and underpaid individuals such as yourself dreamt. A nice big house, food in the fridge, never having to worry about missing the next bill payment or not being able to afford insurance...

But you always had to wake up from that dream world.

You hated that part of your night.

While yes, you have always found the comfort and coolness of the night soothing, there were still dangers lurking out there in the dark.

You'd taken some half-assed self defense classes (you had to drop out because of your sleep schedule), but your skills were lackluster at best. So, you opted for your mace and taser as your trusty companions.

You'd been attacked and mugged five times in the last year and a half. You learned to stop carrying your money on you after the second time, only keeping your metro card on you.

You wondered why, why of all places, did you decide to move to New York? You were a country girl blinded by the dazzling lights, a stupid cliché trope you hated yourself for existing in.

And what did your naivete earn you? A shitty one room apartment that was barely the size of most motel rooms. The only reason you stayed was because at least your apartment had that small kitchen, compared to the rathole hostels you'd unfortunately been victim to before.

Your landlord was shrewd and strict, but at least the rent was affordable. That was the only blessing. Because your electric and other utilities were covered in your rent, you really only needed to worry about money for food. Which... you had been subjected to a rather unhealthy diet consisting mostly of tv dinners, dollar menu fast foods, and cheap Chinese takeout.

Half the time you felt like there was more to this, but logic always kicked in.

Then again, everyone felt like there was more to life when their life consisted of being a faceless, nameless, replaceable cog in the corporate machine.

But for you, even despite your logic, you just... you could feel there was more out there for you. Something meaningful.

You couldn't place your finger on it, but you just knew. It was like an itch under your skin, a tingling in your fingertips.

You were special. You just... you knew you were. Sometimes you could predict what somebody was going to say before they said it, sometimes you could fix things you'd never even looked at before, sometimes, you swore you could see things before they happened.

Oh, and then there were the dreams. Those dreams gave you the willies.

Usually in those dreams, you were floating in a black void, blinking until things came into focus. Looking down at your feet, it was like you were walking on perfectly smooth water, stars blinking to life one by one, reflected on the surface like an inky black mirror, your own reflection not able to be seen.

You would walk and walk and walk... but never reached a destination.

That's when you would feel something. Like the first winter chill creeping into the autumn breeze.

A voice. Deep, raspy... mournful.

You could never make out what the voice said, but whoever it was, they sounded lonely; almost in pain.

But then all at once you would be swallowed up into a light, almost like you were falling back to the very Earth itself, waking with a jolt, your clothes soaked with sweat, your hair dripping with it.

Yeah. Those dreams were the worst. You never felt rested when you had them...

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Today was one of the rare days you forced yourself out of bed and ventured out into the light of day. After all, humans need sunlight. And you were starting to look dreadfully pale.

You were confident you looked like some sort of ghoul, the way people gave you such sideways glances...

You shrugged your bag over your shoulders, looking into the storefronts curiously. You weren't looking for anything specific. You were aimlessly wandering at this point, really. You had two days off (only because your boss flat out told you you've hit overtime twice this month, and even he was concerned for your health) and figured, hey... may as well get some vitamin D while you're at it.

You shoved your hands in your pockets, your pinky poking through the hole on the inside of the pocket on the left side. God, you thought, I should make a trip to the thrift store today, get some decently-used jeans. Need some with less mileage on em.

The smell of incense burned your nostrils, crappy "spiritual" flute music croaking over a speaker well past its prime, wind chimes toning lazily in the breeze.

You lift your gaze and spot the shop, some kind of "witchy aesthetic" kinda thing. Pentacles, Celtic symbols, as well as some Norse-Pagan paraphernalia littered the front window. As well as the gauche lettering depicting palm readings and fortunes, and of course "magic".

Pah. Stupid.

You were about to walk by when two young women clad in black walked by, happily chirping to one another about offerings, smudgings, or... whatever it was. It wasn't your business.

As you watched them go, you turned to continue on your path, but a hand gripped your wrist.

The owner of the appendage was a woman. Her brown hair streaked with gray, her olive-green eyes seeming like they were focusing on something far away rather than at you.

"Uh..." You said, slightly uncomfortable.

"Oh! Forgive me, dear..." She laughed, taking your hand in hers and patting the back of your palm with her free hand; the thick leather bracer on her forearm was an odd fashion choice, you mused.

"Would you like to come in? I have something for everyone!" She winked.

"Er, well, I'm not really into... this whole thing." You chuckle nervously.

"Oh you don't have to be, sweetheart. No harm in looking, is there?"

"....Alright." You concede. She had a good point.

Your noticed as she let your hand go, your "funny feeling" was starting to tingle your fingertips.

And as you walked past the threshold of the front door? Your whole body felt like it was tingling.

Wall to wall, the small shop was filled with things that dazzled the senses, both visually and you were certain in other ways.

The woman hummed as she led you deeper into her shop, gesturing for you to walk into a dark room that was bordered with a beaded curtain in the door.

Yeah. That was how dumb people in horror movies got murdered. No, thank you.

"Look, I can just... uh." You try to find an excuse to turn down the woman who treated you with such polite words and demeanor.

But something about her had you so, so curious. Your "feeling" could not anticipate this woman, anything she said or did seemed a mystery to you.

"You seem tired, dear." She smiled sweetly, her hands clasped in front of her.

"I... well. I'm..."

"Overworked. I assume this is your first day off in days? Weeks, maybe?" She sighed, a sympathetic look on her face.

"How did you--"

"You are very pale, dear. Here, come. Come. Sit with me, hm?" She giggles, reaching out to bring you past the beaded curtain and into the dark room.

Her name, she told you, was Jezebel.

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Goddamn you and your curiosity. The things this woman were telling you were compelling you. It was insane, the things she knew about you. She was right on the nose.

Even about the muggings.

That was when she brought up the subject of protection. When you brought up your self defense and "weapons", she chuckled and waved it off, simply saying that she didn't mean "that" kind of protection.

When you asked what she meant by that, she walked into another room connected to the dark room you were in, the table draped in a velvet cloth with tarot cards laid meticulously set.

She came back with something wrapped in a black silk cloth.

"Here, child. Try this." She hands you whatever it is, and encourages you to unwrap it.

Wrapped inside was a small, old-looking (Ancient, if you were honest) statuette of some sort. You could tell, even with your uneducated eye, that this was done in some kind of style reminiscent of the statues of ancient Egypt that you'd only glimpsed in documentaries. At first you thought it might be Horus, but the head was all wrong...

"Pray to Khonshu, and he will protect you during your travels in the night." She said sweetly.

"I..." You can't tear your gaze away from the statue.

"I can give you prayers, incense, an altar cloth, and basic offerings to get you started, sweetheart. Wait right here."

Before you can reject her offer, she vanishes elsewhere in the store...

And before you know it, she hands you a burlap bag, putting the statue, plus the other items in the bag for you.

"I... I can't pay for this, I..." You stammer.

"Trust me, my dear. This is on the house. You need this." She winks, patting the back of your hand again.

"Now, go. Set up the altar when you get home, get some rest, and say a prayer. Do this every time you leave during the night, and Khonshu and his Fists will protect you."

Somehow, you felt compelled yet again to accept her word, leaving her shop, your brain in a fog.

As you walked, you felt something.

Like a soft voice whispering on a desert wind.

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Jezebel watched you leave, a satisfied and happy smirk playing on her lips.

Above, she heard the croaking of a crow.

She made a soft whistle and held out her arm, the one wearing the leather bracer.

And in a blur, a crow, white as snow and eyes as red as blood, landed on her arm, making very happy noises, almost singing at her, in his own way.

"Yes, I know, Zephyr." She smiled wider as she walked inside, Zephyr waddling up her arm to sit on her shoulder.

"I could sense it, too. Perhaps He will answer that girl..."

She then pulled the leather bracer off her arm, and looked at the mark on her inner wrist.

When she looked at the scales, Jezebel smiled.

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Chapter 2: Link

#moon knight #Khonshu #khonshu x you #khonshu x reader #khonshu #khonshu moon knight #my writing #khonsu

[eddie-sweetheart]

I'm sorry I'm late, sweetheart

After the tragic death of your boyfriend Eddie Munson in the Upside Down, you embark on your grieving journey - but you have no idea what you'll find at the end.

Or, Eddie is alive, but only Dustin and Steve know.

Tropes: Eddie x female reader, fix-it fic, lost love, fluff, happy ending.

Warnings: Mention and/or depiction of violence and death. Themes of grief and loss. Slurs and very mean things being said about Eddie.

Word count: 6k

Author's notes: I started this fic as a fix-it blurb and it turned into a whole one-shot fic that I actually loved writing. I really hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

🌹 Masterlist 🌹

Gif source

“Eddie, NO!”

You scream, your heart dropping to your stomach as you witness your boyfriend, Eddie Munson, cutting the rope of sheets that trails through the portal in his trailer’s ceiling with his makeshift spear. 

“Eddie what are you doing? Come back!” Your brother Dustin yells by your side, his hands frantically tearing at his own hair. 

You have managed to divert the attention of the demobats successfully, you have run back inside the trailer without a scratch and you are finally a step away from safety - there is no way you are letting him do something… stupid, at this point. 

As time stretches into painfully long seconds, a terrifying suspicion creeps up inside you when Eddie looks down (or up?) at you both, a resolute light in his eyes that you have noticed only once in the past. 

“I’m buying more time” he states, his gaze briefly turning towards the violently shaking door behind him just to come back to your shocked and pleading eyes one last time. “I love you, y/n. Please run”.

And as the horror of what is inevitably going to occur starts seeping into your every bone, freezing you still at the realization of what the consequences of Eddie’s heroic gesture will be, you finally wake up. 

--- • ---

One month has passed since that doomed journey in the Upside Down, when your plan to defeat Vecna miserably failed, Hawkins succumbed to the “earthquake” (as they naively defined it on tv) and your heart was irreparably shattered into a thousand pieces. 

And for exactly thirty nights in a row, the same devastating nightmare has been haunting your sleep, making you watch again and again the events that led to the worst moment of your life: Eddie’s death. A death that you tried to, but couldn’t stop - a death so useless to you as it was meaningful for him. Because it didn’t matter that you already knew he was brave and selfless and heroic, and not the mean and scary freak that everyone had unjustly branded him or the coward he believed he was - he needed to prove it to himself to truly find his own redemption. 

And so, he didn’t run this time. He didn’t run when the demobats swarmed around him, he didn’t run when they attacked him mercilessly and left him wounded and bleeding on the ground. And even if his courage was painfully clear to you when you and Dustin found him lying there, after you’d managed to climb back through the portal to go after him, even then he needed confirmation. And so he asked you, while warm blood trickled out of his mouth and into your hands, mixing with your tears as you repeatedly whispered “no, you didn’t” and peppered his face with trembling kisses that you stupidly thought would heal him. But, sadly, love doesn’t heal all wounds, especially bleeding ones. So, just like that, he was gone - and your whole world disappeared with him. 

The nightmare usually stopped at this point, because the rest of what had happened was a blur. You only remembered pieces of it - the screaming, and the tears, and calling his name as someone (Dustin?) held you tight. Then someone else had arrived, and they’d managed to untangle you from Eddie’s body, but you couldn’t stop looking at it, no matter how they tried to soothe you and tell you to go on, to walk back. You couldn’t really recall if it was Nancy or Robin that had helped you back through the portal, maybe it was both - but somehow you’d found yourself under the night sky in the trailer park, then into a car, and suddenly the ground was shaking and eventually it was all black. 

--- • ---

During the first week, you stayed in bed. Blinds shut, lights off, door locked, you spent your time crying and staring into the dark, replaying those horrible hours in your head and in your sleep, feeling pangs of guilt and helplessness alternating to maniacal moments of disbelief and denial. 

The excuse that Dustin had concocted to give some kind of explanation to your mother (whose tender nature, unexpectedly, had made her approve of your relationship with Eddie from the start and believe you when you’d pleaded his innocence in the whole Chrissy ordeal) was that he had died in the earthquake that had shaken Hawkins to its core - the same excuse he would later use with Eddie’s uncle, Wayne. 

You admired how well Dustin had seemed to take the loss of one of his best friends and, as you had clearly understood early on, one of his two father figures - but you knew he was grieving, too. Even if you blocked out anything that wasn’t your pain, the knot of tears in his voice never went unnoticed when he tried to talk to you through the door, knocking softly on the white-painted surface to see if you would let him in. But you just couldn’t, not yet. So you kept laying in your bed, sobbing in silence as you heard Dustin slide down along the doorframe, one pillow propped against it as he sat on the floor of the corridor, waiting for you and keeping watch. 

--- • ---

“Come on, kid” Steve urgently tells Dustin, holding his arms firmly around the crying teen’s shaking shoulders, his gaze frantically scanning their surroundings as he senses that something is wrong. Beyond his own suspicion and fear that the Upside Down might collapse and swallow them whole anytime now, he can still feel the weight in his chest that has not left him since the discovery of Eddie’s body. But he can’t allow himself to lose it, too - not right now. He needs to stay focused, for Dustin and for everyone else. 

“I know it’s hard, but we need to go” he repeats to his friend, too worn out to find a way to sugarcoat it. 

“We can’t leave him here” Dustin blurts out resolutely as he turns towards Steve, tears still welling up in his eyes, “I will not leave him here”. 

Steve sighs, eyebrows furrowed while he tries to find a quick solution. It’s the low rumbling in the distance that finds it for him. 

“Okay” he suddenly states, “you take his feet, I’ll drag him by his arms. We need to be fast”. 

A mix of adrenaline and desperation fills the two boys with renewed energy, as they lift Eddie’s mangled and bleeding body up and carry him towards the darker version of his trailer. Robin and Nancy are already back in your dimension - one anxiously waiting for Dustin and Steve at the edge of the portal, the other hugging you tight on the front lawn. 

“Guys, what-“ Robin begins, her words quickly dying as a lump forms in her throat at the sight of her friends’ cargo. 

“Help us carry him up” Steve asks her with a pleading look, and she doesn’t utter another word as the three of them struggle to make a lifeless Eddie go through the passage. Somehow, they make it - and they’re now panting and sweating in silence on the trailer’s carpeted floor, Dustin’s sobs occasionally piercing the warm air. 

As another, closer rumble vibrates underneath them, Steve snaps back to consciousness and starts rummaging through the pockets of his newly acquired leather jacket. 

“Get the car, it should still be in the parking lot” he tells Robin as he hands her the keys he’s just found, “Take the girls home. We’ll take care of him” he adds, nodding towards Dustin and Eddie. 

Robin nods, worry pervading her face as she heads towards the door. “Be safe” is all she manages to say before disappearing into the dark of the night. 

Steve and Dustin take one last breath before standing up and resuming their positions, struggling under Eddie’s weight as they make their way outside and through the trailer park. As soon as they cross the edge of the woods surrounding the area, now definitely safe from unwanted attention, they carefully place Eddie’s body down on the soft grass to take a break and decide on the next move. 

It’s Dustin who notices first. All it takes is one fortuitous glance downwards, and then he’s suddenly on his knees yelling at a confused Steve. 

“Steve, look” he exclaims, not giving a damn if someone hears him, “he’s breathing - he’s alive!”

--- • ---

It was on day seven that your bedroom door unlocked and you opened a way for others to reach you through your grief. Dustin knew it was day seven because he’d been counting, waiting for this moment and knowing that even if you were the older sister and you’d always taken care of him, it would soon be his turn to return the favor and be there for you. 

And god only knew how much you needed him to be there, after everything you'd gone through together. Once you tentatively took a step outside your room, you finally let yourself sink into his hug, the last tears still inside you dripping on his Camp Know Where t-shirt as he calmly whispered “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay”. 

After Dustin, it was Robin, Nancy and Steve. Taking turns, they came by to keep you company, get you something to eat, take you out on a walk or just be with you - much as Lucas was trying to do with an unconscious Max at the hospital. You were okay with most of their efforts and wholeheartedly appreciated their concern - but the walks, you loathed them. Because even if the city had been ripped apart, even if people were looking for lost family and friends among the ruins and wreckage, even if most of Hawkins citizens were moving away in long car queues, it was still late spring, the birds were still singing and the sun was still shining warm and bright above all the destruction and loss. 

And this powerful light in the blue sky felt like a personal offense to you, it insulted you to your core - because how could the world still go round and be unexpectedly beautiful if the person you loved was no longer in it? What use were the birds’ songs if you would never listen again to Eddie’s voice? Why did the grass bother to be so soft if it could not compete against Eddie’s tattooed skin and daring lips anymore? Why would you care to smile at your favorite flowers now that you couldn’t laugh at Eddie’s snarky remarks and dirty jokes? It made no sense, at all. It was disgusting. 

But you walked at your friends' side nonetheless, the more reasonable part of you knowing that fresh air was good for your tired body. And it went like this for a whole week, until the pain slowly turned into a new numbness, the perfect hiding spot for growing rage. 

--- • ---

“How are you feeling?” Dustin asks Eddie as he checks his temperature in the dim light of the living room in Hopper’s cabin. 

The abandoned wooden building in the middle of Hawkins’ woods has been their hiding spot for the past week. After a few emergency adjustments, Steve and Dustin have managed to make the place as livable as possible, turning the main room into a temporary hospital wing - the bed being an old mattress on the floor on which a slowly healing Eddie has been carefully placed. 

During the city-wise panic that followed the earthquake, they even managed to raid a local pharmacy, going unnoticed as they collected bandages and supplies that they later used to cure and treat the demobat wounds that were scattered on Eddie’s body. Their work surely isn’t the best, but since there is still no trace of fever or infections, they deduce that it is good enough. 

At Dustin’s question, Eddie sighs, his breath way less troubled than it was when they first brought him here. 

“Never been better, man” he replies ironically, taking a sip from a glass of water on the floor next to him. “How is she?” He then adds, repeating the question he’s been posing to his two rescuers every day for almost seven days. 

Dustin briefly gazes at Steve, who’s leaning against the wooden wall of the cabin. He attentively stares back at Dustin, thinking and then almost imperceptibly shaking his head at him after a few seconds. 

“Uhm” Dustin hesitates, his eyes now fixed on the thermometer in his hands as he blushes lightly, “she’s getting by”. 

Eddie immediately spots the lie. 

“I need to see her” he protests as he attempts to lift himself up on the mattress, immediately wincing in pain as Steve and Dustin help him lie down again. 

“It’s probably best if you don’t right now” Steve states once Eddie’s resting again, “the fewer people know, the less we risk the police finding out about you. You should lay low and take time to heal. We are taking care of her” he reassures his friend, placing a comforting hand on the bare skin of his only unwounded shoulder. 

“It’s for her own good, too” Dustin adds with a small smile, “we all know she’d be too stubborn to avoid coming here all the time”. 

Eddie unconvincingly nods, too weak to argue back. He’s still staring at the ceiling when Steve and Dustin finally leave, saying goodbye until the following day. 

--- • ---

The funeral - or whatever concealed and lesser version of a funeral that was - was at the beginning of week three. 

Eleven, Mike, Will and Jonathan had just come back from California. Joyce wasn’t with them, but she had been replaced by a weird but kind-looking dude with very long hair - Argyle, a friend of Jonathan’s. Seeing the rest of your best friends again and being reunited with the whole group brought you whatever little glimpse of ephemeral joy you could still feel, but it did little to placate the raging, pain-fueled fire that had started burning inside you. 

It burned when tears choked you and prevented you from speaking under the solitary tree that stood out in the fields outside Hawkins - the only place where everyone was almost completely sure that the small memorial cross you had created and decorated with Eddie’s guitar pick necklace wouldn’t be disturbed. It burned as you watched the thin chain slowly sway in the warm breeze of the approaching summer, reminding you how it used to hang on Eddie’s chest, barely visible under his Hellfire t-shirt. It burned when you caught a glimpse of the horns and slurs that some douchebag had sketched on the missing posters pinned by Eddie’s uncle to the announcement board in the high school gym, which had been set up as emergency accommodation for those who had lost their home. 

That same fire burned stronger while you took your first walk on your own, one early evening before dinner. It burned just like the sunset that was radiating in the sky, its dark reds and oranges perfectly matching the flashes of light coming from the otherworldly rips that had torn the city apart. It burned as you asked yourself - asked him, how could he? How could he go back, risk his life just to lose it without anything changing? How could he leave you in that maimed world, thinking it wouldn’t affect you? How could he be so selfless, so fucking brave, so… Eddie?

You kicked a stone across the road, the last hint of self-control left in you preventing you from punching the nearest tree. 

You’d only hurt yourself and it wouldn’t change anything. Be reasonable. 

Any pain would be better than this torture, anyways. That was your train of thought when you walked by two girls from your school. You barely recognized them as two friends of Chrissy’s from the cheer squad. You obviously didn’t bother saying hi, as you kept walking and staring at the dirty concrete.

However, as you turned sideways to let them pass on the sidewalk, you couldn’t ignore their poisonous glare and the slur that one of them whispered at you, loud just enough for you to hear. It was the final straw, the only excuse that your raging mood needed to overcome all your other feelings. You turned around, looking straight at them.

“What did you just say?”

The two girls stopped and turned around, one of them cautiously looking at the other, who had spoken - and who spoke again with a mean sneer.

“Just what everyone is thinking” she replied, holding her head high with a challenging nod, arms crossed on her chest.

“Say that again” you insisted, taking a step towards her, “and say it to my face”.

The girl snickered and seemed more than happy to comply. 

“I said, look at the Devil’s whore” she spelled out, slowly, “And that’s not even the full extent of it. Care to hear the rest?”

You froze still, the fire within you burning stronger and stronger. But you managed to stay calm a little longer as the girl took your stare as a silent consensus to keep going.

“Everyone in this town” she went ahead, matching your step, “is glad that your psychopathic, murderous boyfriend is gone. He deserved to die. He killed Chrissy and those other two guys in cold blood, probably had been dreaming about it for ages, wetting himself in his sleep at the thought. You know what? He probably got Jason too, who instead tried to protect us from the satanic killing spree of that disgusting cult Munson led. And you should have gone with him, wherever he is - probably rotting in the pits of hell” she concluded, smirking. “I hope he suffered like a dog”.

It happened very fast and very slow at the same time. You didn’t realize that you had closed the distance between your bodies until you saw your fist hovering towards her face in slow motion. You didn’t expect it to hurt when your knuckles hit her cheekbone, but it didn’t matter, really. All that mattered was that you were furious with her, with Hawkins, with the whole world - and you were tired of playing nice and holding back when all you (and Eddie) got in exchange were lies and insults and disrespect. What was the use in explaining that the “psychopathic, murderous leader of a satanic cult” had instead almost saved the whole town?

“You fucking bitch-“ you muttered, moving to have a go at her one more time, but your fist never reached her face again. You hadn’t noticed that her friend had come to her rescue, and she was now grabbing and pulling your hair to get you away from the bleeding victim of your rage. You gasped in surprise when she yanked harder and your breath was knocked out of you once you fell and hit the ground on your back.

The girl you’d hit charged back towards you, straddling your core and arms to hold you still. Droplets of blood trickled from her nose onto your face as she slapped you again and again with one hand, the other tight on your throat.

“Angela, I think that’s enough” her friend exclaimed at some point.

“One more for payback” Angela replied, hitting you with a final punch right under your eye. Stars exploded into your sight, bright and glittering and painful - then, you finally felt the release on your chest and your throat as the girl stood up and ran away with her friend.

--- • ---

“Who was it? Tell me right fucking now, Henderson” Eddie growls, anger filling him up as he suddenly stands and moves towards Dustin.

In the past few weeks, his health has improved drastically. The demobat wounds have turned out to be more superficial than they suspected at first, and once they healed almost completely, all that has been left for Eddie to do is to get his strength back - which he's doing amazingly. Not that the cabin offers much more entertainment than taking a few steps, laying around, reading and thinking about you.

So it’s more than understandable that all this bottled-up energy that Eddie has accumulated is on the verge of exploding now that Dustin has inadvertently mentioned your close encounter with Angela from yesterday.

“She didn’t tell me who did it” Dustin stutters, taking one step back from a raging Eddie. “Not that she needed to say anything at all, you know - I mean, the black eye and split lip were quite-“

“Jesus, Dustin” Steve interrupts his rambling with a glare. He really doesn’t think that Eddie needs to hear all the details that will inevitably rile him up even more and, in the worst-case scenario, make him do something stupid - like leave the cabin or punch a wall and open his wounds up again.

“But she’s okay, now! I swear” Dustin exclaims, and he means it. 

Eddie sits back down on the slumped sofa while rubbing his hands on his face nervously, ruffling his fringe with the motion as a million thoughts run through his mind. You, in a fist fight? To defend him? Even if the thought that you would go to such a length for him makes his heart flutter (god, a small part of him even knows that you surely looked so hot while punching some bitchy brat), the worry about you being okay is way greater than any other feeling. Except, maybe, guilt.

“It’s not fair. It’s not fucking fair” he mutters, “she doesn’t deserve to go through this because of me”. His round, dark eyes meet Steve’s, a silent plead glimmering in them as clear as daylight.

All he wants right now is to be there for you, hold you, get lost in your beautiful eyes and let his hands wander through your hair, never letting go of you again. He knows it’s risky, he knows that he could be caught if they weren’t all going to be careful - but he also knows that you need him right now, more than ever.

Steve sighs. “Look, man” he says, “Give us a few more days. We’ll see what we can do”.

“Maybe” Dustin chips in, “We could ask the others. They will help. They miss you too, you know” he tells Eddie with a smile. Eddie smiles back.

--- • ---

Week four has been the craziest yet. If you thought that going into literal hell, losing the love of your life to a swarm of winged monsters, getting into a fist fight and miserably losing was a lot, you weren’t prepared to the most surreal news you’ve ever heard.

Hopper is alive, and he’s back in Hawkins.

When Dustin rushed into your room to tell you a few days ago, finding you sitting in front of the mirror as you hopelessly looked at the dark blue ring under your left eye, you thought it was a joke. You even laughed, but you stopped as soon as you realized he was serious.

Hopper is alive, and that’s… good news. Now that the anger has finally calmed down and you’re back to feeling a little bit more like yourself, you can allow yourself to be happy about it. Sure, there’s a tiny part of you whose heart tightens a little at the thought that maybe, just maybe… but you don’t dare go further than that, so you push that wish in the back of your head as hard as you can.

--- • ---

“Hopper is alive!” Steve exclaims as he pushes the cabin door open and bursts into the room, Dustin excitedly trailing after him.

Eddie stares up at them in confusion above the bowl of milk and Honeycomb cereals he’s been aimlessly poking at for the past ten minutes. 

“The chief of police?” He asks gesturing with the spoon in his hand, not really knowing how that’s supposed to be interesting - until he remembers that, according to Dustin’s recounting of past events back in Reefer Rick’s shed, he was supposedly gone for good after Starcourt.

“Yes” Steve states, going up to him and placing both his hands on the chipped wooden table. “And he knows about the Upside Down, and now about Vecna. Do you know what that means?”

Eddie doesn’t reply, too afraid to burst the little bubble of hope that is starting to grow in his chest. Instead, he looks at Dustin - who clearly cannot contain his excitement anymore.

“He can clear your name, Eddie!” the kid finally bursts out, clapping his hands and doing little jumps on the spot where he’s standing, “He can clear your name and you can be free!”

--- • ---

If there is one thing that can be said, is that you’re really trying to do your best. One month has passed - and sure as hell, there will never be enough time in the world for you to get over Eddie Munson and the not-so-little hole that he has left in your heart. It’s still unbearably painful, life still sucks - but you’re learning to live with it one minute at a time, your new purpose being the constant search for ways to feel closer to him.

You have the guitar pick necklace always hanging close to your heart and never leaving your neck, for instance. You grabbed it with no hesitation after the small vigil in the fields was over and everyone was heading back to Steve’s and Nancy’s cars to give you some time alone. You really weren’t able to let go of that little piece of him. 

You also listen to metal music all the time, and you don’t care if it’s not your genre. You can now recognize the riffs and melodies that you casually listened to during Corroded Coffin’s practice sessions, and you go back to your memories of Eddie dancing wildly in his room, headbanging into a headache that you would have to help him treat the following day - the perfect excuse for endless forehead kisses.

You eat Honeycomb and drink Yoo-hoo every day at breakfast, remembering how sweet Eddie’s lips tasted after he had some as a late-night snack. He used to wake you up as he struggled to (quite unwillingly) disentangle himself from your hug just to have you follow him in the dark - and you always ended up dancing around the kitchen in the refrigerator light as he sipped on the chocolate drink, giggling under your breath to avoid waking his uncle up as well.

The memories feel good, but lately “good” often makes you cry. And since you don’t want to burden your family and friends with your grief anymore, as soon as you hear Dustin open the front door and call your name, you quickly turn around to dry your tears, pretending you’re just washing the cereal bowl in the sink.

“Y/n” he says, stepping into the kitchen with a small smile, “Hi”.

“Hi, Dusty Bun” you jokingly reply as you ruffle his curly hair, a matching smile appearing on your lips as you’re determined to put on a brave face for him.

“Are you busy right now?” He asks, fingers lightly tapping on the counter.

You actually don’t know. You’re not busy, but are you in the mood for anything?

“Why are you asking?” 

Dustin shrugs. “Steve’s here, we’re going on a short drive. Get some fresh air, you know?” He cautiously replies, “Will you join us? Please?”

He’s putting on that soft puppy face you can’t say no to, and he knows what he’s doing. You sigh, pondering on it one more time. But today you’ve opted for bravery, so after a while, you nod, although still a little unconvinced.

“Great! Amazing” Dustin exclaims, “We’ll wait in the car”.

You get dressed and try to fix your messy hair a little, giving up quickly. No need to impress anyone today, right?

--- • ---

The drive is actually shorter than you imagined. Steve stops at the edge of the woods and proposes to walk a bit - you’re there, so you can’t really refuse. You guess some exercise might do you good.

While you walk on the path that leads to Hopper’s cabin through the thick trees, Dustin and Steve occasionally making small talk, you wonder if that place is still standing after all that’s happened. And once it comes into sight you’re surprised to find out that it still does.

“Why are we here?” You ask out of pure curiosity, but as you notice the uncanny looks that Steve and Dustin exchange at your question, your heart starts beating a little faster.

“Guys, what is going on?” You repeat, completely clueless on what to expect from the meeting - which, clearly, has always had a purpose. Maybe this is some sort of intervention, and everyone else will appear from the woods to talk to you, console you, or suggest that you should be locked up in Pennhurst because, frankly, you’re losing your mind here-

“There’s something we need to tell you” Steve begins, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “Good news, actually, so no need to worry”.

You take a deep breath and feel a little better.

“Hopper is at the police station right now” Steve continues, his eyes set on yours to check if you’re okay. “He’s talking to the authorities with some agents from Hawkins Lab - they are explaining everything. Well, most of it and in a watered-down version, anyway”.

You nod. That’s great, but there must be something else.

Dustin comes closer to you. “They’re clearing Eddie’s name” he says, holding your hand.

A tear falls slowly down your cheek and, finally, you feel the relief you’ve been looking for so much. It doesn’t heal half of your pain, but you’re incredibly grateful and… happy, you could say, that justice is being done. That Eddie can finally rest in peace.

“Really?” You ask, tearing up as you squeeze Dustin’s hand.

“Really” he replies, quickly exchanging another glance with Steve. And that’s what brings you back to your first question.

“But… why are we here, anyway?” You ask again, more relaxed this time. It’s suddenly gotten easier to breathe.

Steve nods to Dustin, who doesn’t reply but, instead, leaves your hand and goes towards the cabin. A wave of confusion hits you, but you manage to keep it at bay.

“There’s more” Steve slowly states while your eyes are still fixed on Dustin, who’s climbed up the few wooden steps that lead to the porch to disappear inside the cabin seconds later, the door carefully closing after him. “But I think it’s best if we show you”.

Steve’s hand doesn’t leave your shoulder as the door of the cabin slowly opens up once more. But it’s not Dustin coming out, not this time. 

It takes a little while for you to register what you’re seeing, because your brain seems to freeze at the sight of those dark brown, long and wavy hair and matching, perfectly round doe eyes. It’s not him, it can’t be him. You shake your head in disbelief as he slowly takes a few steps towards you, his hands finding support on the porch railing - no, it must be a joke, a horrible, cruel joke, but Steve and Dustin would never, so maybe you’ve fainted and you’re dreaming, because come on, he still has his rings on, and he looks alive, and how is his Hellfire shirt not shred into pieces? Why is there no blood? There was so much blood-

And then he steps closer, looking straight at you with tears in his eyes, and you suddenly cover your mouth, gasping, because you’ve started to notice everything else. The scars that trail down his arms and up his neck like red ink, messy companions to his tattoos; the weight of his necklace around your neck, a now obvious absence around his; the light blue denim of his jeans, so different from the black, ripped ones that he was wearing that night; the tiny, purple stain on his shirt, and you know it’s blueberry jam because you’ve tried so many times to wash it off with Dustin pleading beside you to get it ready before the next campaign-

Tears are now freely flowing down your face as you look back and forth between Steve and Dustin, who is now back outside and stands still on the porch. You don’t dare look at him, because it’s not possible, he can’t be there, he’s dead for heaven’s sake, you mourned him…

But Steve nods at you in silence, waiting. Dustin does the same. Even the birds and the trees and the breeze are watching, waiting.

“Y/n?” Eddie says, and it’s just a whisper, but it’s so loud and it’s music and it simply does the trick.

You burst out in a sob and run, closing the few meters that still separate your bodies, and they feel like a hundred miles and a few inches at the same time, but you’re in his arms and God, you could die right now and not give a damn.

You cry in Eddie’s arms, whispering his name, letting him hold you tight as he whispers yours back. You feel him with your hands, fingers exploring his body, checking for injuries; you sink your face in his neck, his scent filling you up with cigarette smoke, honey, and damp wood. You love it, you crave it, you just missed it so much. 

“How?” Is all you manage to ask once you lift your reddened eyes to his, getting lost in those pools of melted chocolate while his fingers gently graze your skin, your cheeks, your hair - you know it’s truly him because he has not lost his touch with you.

“It’s a long story, sweetheart” he replies, his lips tilted in a soft smile and just mere inches from yours, “But I’ll tell you everything. I’m sorry I was so late” he quickly adds, worry and guilt clouding his gaze for an instant, “will you forgive me?”

You kiss him right there and then. He tastes like all things sweet, and a little bit like weed. The feeling of your mouths crashing onto each other is like meeting him all over again, like finding the missing piece to a decades-old puzzle, like red fireworks on the Fourth of July. His lips perfectly match yours, both in hungry movements and in passionate desperation. When they leave your mouth to travel along the rest of your face, lightly hovering over the bruise under your eye just to flutter on your closed lids, it truly feels like everything is now back to its place.

You don’t leave his arms when Steve’s cough distracts your attention. 

“So, uhm, we’ll give you guys some space now” he says, a smile warming up his face. “We’ll keep you updated on the walkie, but it’s best if you stay inside for now-“

“You knew all along?” You interrupt him, holding tight to Eddie’s body as your gaze turns to Dustin as well.

“I’m sorry, y/n” your brother replies, “But we thought it would be easier and less risky if-“

“You kept him safe” you say, a grateful look making them both know that of course, it’s okay. “Thank you”.

“Always a pleasure” Steve chimes, his car keys jangling in his hand as he nods at Dustin. “Come on, Henderson, let’s leave the lovebirds to their nest”.

He starts walking away with Dustin, who looks at you and Eddie with the biggest grin ever. As they disappear into the woods, you turn back to Eddie, your mind still trying to wrap around the fact that he’s… alive. He notices and kisses you one more time, holding your hand as he leads you to the cabin.

The door closes behind you. The birds are singing again, while the soft breeze ruffles the green leaves of the trees.

#eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things x reader #stranger things #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson one shot #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fix it fic

[ccl-c]

some things i wanted to draw a while ago but never had the time because work has been so intense. now that s2 ended this way …

long rambling below:

i had been having a very bad feeling about the “devastating loss” and fuck it really happened (it being foreshadowed from ep1 is kind of funny but fuck).

i did enjoy the episode, and if this is the end of the show i'm good with that. ep8 isn't just about izzy's death obviously, nor is the season or the show about izzy, and i know it's a bridge season where problems are not solved, but i need a way to get over this, so.

within the episode i think the death is beautiful, but within his whole arc, for me it's the timing and david's explanations that i found kind of awkward and disappointing. it might be because the budget got cut but i think also because izzy's arc was a bit too prioritised especially if david wanted to stick to the mentor-death-in-act-two trope (izzy is my favourite character but i have been feeling the unbalance since ep3).

izzy's last speech sounded almost too early for ed's arc. letting a repressed traumatised amputated (also talented and romantic and sometimes humourous) elder apologise for what he believed half of his lifetime and die voluntarily (to some extent; i think he said “i wanna go” mostly because he knew the wound was fatal, but then why must it be fatal it was on the left side?) when he was just physically and mentally getting better is tragic but it also could have been a more satisfying death. i am very biased and very bad at literature, but i think if izzy and ed got to earnestly communicate about their relationship and past issues, if ed had more interactions with the crew to (re)build the mutual love, and maybe if besides telling ed to “just be ed” izzy really got to see it (when he's not dying), his story would be more complete and he would really be leaving at his happiest.

of course death is inevitable in life and unpredictable in piracy, of course there are tropes in tv shows, and of course it's part of the journey for the audience to feel devastated. but i read multiple interviews and the central idea just seems to be “the mentor often dies in the second act” which is valid in itself, but then s2 becomes “how can we make the most out of his last moments” (after posting this i heard that “funerals strengthen families” dropped; i'm just so disappointed i don't know what to say). honestly i was confused about how david said “let's give con all the toys he could play with” (yes if i had con in my show for one last season i'd want to let him do everything possible as well and i am grateful david did, but after all con played a side character; also it's cruel to “give him everything” while hiding the ending from him until halfway through the shooting); it's supposed to be a story and not a talent show (um). if time is too short for his ideal arc then maybe he should do fewer things but each better paced, or maybe the mentor-death-in-act-two trope needed to be adjusted, or maybe it wasn't the right trope at all.

i might be dumb but i didn't see the mentor-hero relationship before stede said blackbeard said izzy made him the captain he was, and even then i honestly thought it was mostly stede talking for ed. when david put it like that i can see little traits of it in s1, but i find the jesus-judas (jcs) dynamic much more obvious. let alone the father figure thing; didn't see it at all.

there are many ways to mark an end and for a recurring character to leave (buttons turning into a seagull was beautiful; the swede temporarily leaving to become jackie's husband was also lovely; but ivan's death mentioned by fang just looked like they had to get rid of him); ultimately what frustrates me is that it's unclear what the concept of death itself brings to izzy's arc at this point. major character “deaths” in this show is often associated with change or rebirth, and i'd expect a realistic humanly death from severe wound to also open up something new in his story or in general, even if his life ends here. maybe that's for s3. but for now he died just because their power-thirsty enemy hated him and his gorgeous speech and piracy; ed did not seem to consider the crew his family, nor did the crew seem to bother. piracy did become more about belonging though but that's not his legacy.

on a side note, letting a disabled elder (who was previously seen seriously irritating ricky) escort ricky and no one noticing ricky hid a gun? izzy was playing with fire (ha) to talk to ricky like that but at least ed and zheng and jim and jackie could have been more alert. then roach was asked to look for bandages and nothing happened afterwards? that was the guy who replanted his own arm back and who was ready to chop off lucius's finger. if he just came up to izzy's side and tried to take care of him and then izzy said “no it's too late i want to go painlessly”, or if someone said “let izzy and ed have their moment”, then okay, but having roach try to save izzy with no follow up is kind of disrespectful to roach's character.

with how much david loves izzy and con there probably was a better version of this story that didn't fully make it into the show. that said, i do work in a creative industry with various constraints in many directions; it happens that creators have intentions and priorities that the audience does not understand and vice versa, it happens that budgets got cut and what you deliver is not what you would have made in better circumstances, but when a mainstream tv show got such polarised reactions about one specific part of the story, there might be a real problem and the budget or the creative direction won't be enough to justify it.

then if all this is for izzy to be brought back in s3 i'm curious to see how it will be played out. his death was shown in such an explicit way and he even got buried on land (honestly the burial was weird and a bit creepy for me but well) it doesn't seem likely he survives again; it might be fun if he reincarnates as a creature or appears in new flashbacks, or in the gravey basket.

(also, now that izzy's dead, i hope con can share his version of the backstory of izzy's ring.)

my point is, maybe, that i think izzy's arc in s2 was so saturated and glamorous and full of potential that it felt too important to end, while the main romance and the crew's arc could have used some more time to address more context or some issues underlying since s1 for example. also lots of things weren't consistent and many interesting points were never addressed again, but i hope it's left open for s3.

but it doesn't undo what has been great about this show. the death scene itself was beautiful too, and the whole cast and crew deserve an hour-long standing ovation.

i guess it's just a bit like you went on a really fun roadtrip with a beloved friend but had an unexpected misunderstanding leading to conflict with said friend at the end of the last day. eventually you probably stay friends because you always had a good time, but you will be thinking about the conflict.

#ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers #izzy hands

[sequinsmile-x]

Stained Glass Windows - Chapter Forty Three

Life was complicated, but they wouldn't have it any other way.

-x-

Hi friends <3

Trying to get back into updating this twice a week because I love them so much.

One of my least fav tropes on any TV show is when a woman has a baby and then everyone is in her room around her bed?? I'm sorry, no matter how much I love my friends and family the only person who will be in the room when I have a kid is that kid's other parent. Anyway, I very much gave Emily that opinion in this and I'm not sorry.

I hope you enjoy this! <3

-x-

Words: 2.4k

A full list of warnings for the fic can be found on the Series Master List and will be updated as we go along.

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Emily was exhausted. So exhausted it felt like it was seeping into her bones, making her limbs feel like they were made of lead. Heavy and slow-moving, seemingly only capable of holding her newborn daughter. Which, it turned out, was fortuitous because Aaron wasn’t letting her do anything that wasn’t looking after herself, or feeding, holding or looking after Lily. He’d paid what she considered to be a little too much attention to her doctor’s instructions when she was discharged from the hospital. 

He was sometimes going out of his way to make sure she was doing as she’d been told, going as far as taking Sergio from her arms at one point because she was moving the cat from the bassinet. Aaron’s eyebrows furrowed as he exclaimed that Sergio was heavier than Lily. She thinks that, eventually it will annoy her, that if he carried this on for the whole six weeks of her recovery she’d snap, but she knows he needs this more than she does. 

Even though she was tired, she could see the fear that still lingered in his eyes if he looked at her when he thought she wasn’t paying any attention. The way he’d tighten his hold on her in the rare moments they were able to lay down and sleep together, his arm firm around her waist for all of a second before he remembered she’d had surgery and pulled back a little. Touching her like she was made of glass. He did the same with Lily, holding her so gently it made Emily ache. The size difference between the two of them, the way Aaron’s hand was bigger than their daughter’s back, enough to make her want to have a dozen more babies even though she still winced when she stood up from having this one. 

She lets his hovering happen without comment because she knows he’s still processing what happened, still going over in his head how things could have ended. They’d barely spoken about it beyond the odd comment, neither one of them ready to talk about it yet, to tell the other about their experience of the moment she knows will live with them forever. In some ways, she thinks he had it worse than she did, waiting desperately for news that could have gone either way. She didn’t have to imagine that feeling. She was all too familiar with the anxiety that came with sitting in a waiting room with no way to pass the time other than going over the worst-case scenarios again and again. 

“Someone wants Mommy.” 

She looks up and smiles as Aaron walks into the living room, a fussy Lily in his arms as he approaches the couch. She sits up a little straighter, adjusting the cushion behind her just before Aaron hands Lily over.

“Hi sweet girl,” she says, smiling as Lily settles against her, the fussy cry she’d been on the verge of stopping before it even starts, “Did Daddy change that nasty diaper?” 

He hums in response as he stares lovingly at them, “I did,” he says, “Do you need help with anything?” 

She chuckles as she adjusts her hold on Lily, resting her so she is lying against her chest, her tiny fist tangling in some hair that had fallen loose from Emily’s bun, “I’m more than capable of changing my own diaper,” she says, narrowing her eyes as he smiles, “Now. I can bend over slightly and everything.” 

She’d forgotten just how hard it was to recover from abdominal surgery, how tiring. The last time she’d done this she’d been alone, waiting for a call from her mother that never came.

He grabs his phone from his pocket as it chimes and he smiles whilst he reads the text on the screen, “The team are apparently nearly here.”

In the five days since they had come home, they hadn’t had any visitors yet apart from Jack. Emily hadn’t quite felt up to it, only able to bring herself to wash her hair on day four, so Aaron had held the team off for her. Deflecting requests to come over until she was comfortable with seeing people, with disturbing the vague routine they’d fallen into.  

Aaron doesn’t miss how her smile falters for a moment and he sighs, “Em, I can call them and tell them not to come.” 

She smiles fondly at him, gently patting Lily’s back as she turns her head to kiss the newborn’s dark hair, “She’s 10 days old honey, if we don’t let them meet her today I think Pen will break into our house.” 

He chuckles and sits down on the couch next to her. He places his hand on her thigh and squeezes, his gaze reassuring, and nothing short of adoring, when her eyes meet his. 

“Whilst that may be true,” he says, rubbing his thumb back and forth over her legging-covered skin, “I don’t want you to do anything you aren’t ready for. If they make it to the damn porch and you change your mind I’ll send them away.” 

It makes tears she hates, tears she blames solely on the baby fast asleep on her chest, burn in the back of her eyes. She wonders if she’ll ever get back to how she was before, if she’d ever be able to pride herself on her ability to compartmentalise like she once had, or if this was it now. If part of the price she paid for being a mother was having her edges softened, worn down from the sharp points they’d once been to this - someone who would well up when her husband was sweet, instead of rolling her eyes like she once would have. 

If that was the case, she’d gladly pay the price again and again if it meant Lily grew up knowing she had parents who loved each other and her. She knew how it felt to grow up not feeling that at all. 

“I want them to meet her,” she says, tilting her head to look at her daughter, her smile widening at the sight of her conked out, her squishy cheek pressed into Emily’s t-shirt, forcing her tiny lips to pout open, “I mean, look at her! Who wouldn’t want to meet her?” She says, her eyes returning to his, “I just…I think I’ll miss our little bubble, you know? These few days at home we’ve had just the three of us.” 

He leans forward and kisses her, a delicate thing against her lips, before he pulls back, “I’ll miss it too.” 

Aaron was due back to work in a few days, the two weeks he’d taken off disappearing into a haze of too little sleep, dirty diapers and the realities of parenting a newborn. He was hesitant to go back to work, the two weeks being something he’d organised long before Emily’s labour had turned into emergency surgery. She had encouraged him to go back to work as planned, a soft smile on her face as she reminded him he wasn’t going away with the team on any cases until she was at least allowed to drive again, something he’d arranged with a surprisingly sympathetic Strauss, which was still another month away. 

“I’ll constantly send you pictures and updates whilst you’re at work,” she says, biting the inside of her cheek as she watches him wistfully look at Lily, his hand cupping the back of her head. He looks up at her and she smiles as their eyes meet, “Maybe not constantly, that much cuteness might be a distraction.” 

He chuckles, the sound promptly followed by the doorbell, and he leans forward to kiss Emily’s forehead before he stands up, “You two wait there.”

Emily shakes her head at him and looks at Lilly as she shifts against her, her face screwed up and her eyes blinking open at all the noise as Aaron opens the front door. 

“You’re about to meet Mommy and Daddy’s friends, Lil,” she says, kissing the little girl’s dark hair, smiling against the softness of it as she hears Penelope barely acknowledge Aaron before she clearly walks straight past him, “Remember what I said about Aunt Pen? She will dress you in all sorts of pink things but it’s how she shows love.” 

“Where is she?” Penelope all but demands as she walks into the living room. Emily turns to look at her friend and smiles, barely able to open her mouth before Penelope leans down, her excitement evident as she reaches out for Lily, “Oh she is just about the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.” 

“Nice to see you too, Pen,” Emily quips as she hands Lily over, clenching her fists to stop herself from snatching her back. She still struggled to be separated from her daughter for any length of time at all, even if she was in her direct sight. Even if it was Aaron who was the one who had her. 

Penelope manages to look a little embarrassed as she holds Lily in her arms, smiling at her friend who is still sitting on the couch, “Sorry, Peaches,” she says sincerely before looking at the baby in her arms, “I was just so distracted by how beautiful she is.” 

Emily beams, pride she doesn’t think she’d ever be able to explain warming her from the inside out as she can’t help but agree, “She is pretty amazing, huh?” 

“Seem’s pretty big-headed of you, Bella,” Dave says as he walks into the room, dropping a kiss to the top of Emily’s head before she can dodge it, “Seeing as all the photos you guys have sent just show she’s practically your clone.” 

She looks up at him, ready to roll her eyes, but she sees the slight strain in his, feels the way he squeezes her shoulder, and she knows he’s been more worried about her than he’d ever admit. 

“What can I say, I apparently make cute babies.” 

JJ sits down next to Emily, her hand on her arm as she gains her attention, “I just filled your refrigerator with casseroles made by me and Dave, and Will made you those beignets you love.”

Emily groans at the thought of it, placing her hand over her friends and squeezing, “Thank you, I genuinely don’t know when we last ate something that wasn’t cold fast food.” 

JJ chuckles, “I remember those days. And Will said his mom always used to say ‘take a new mama enough food to last a month.’” 

“Well, she was on to something,” Emily says, anything further she may have said cut off as Lily starts to cry, the sound sharp and piercing, and she looks up, immediately seeking her daughter out.

Penelope was still holding her and trying to soothe her. Dave, Spencer and Derek were all peering over her shoulder, all cooing at the newborn whilst arguing about whose turn it was to hold her next. Emily looks at Aaron, widens her eyes slightly and tilts her head towards the rest of them, feeling nothing short of grateful as he immediately understands her silent request. He walks over and gently lifts Lily from Penelope’s arms before moving towards Emily, passing the newborn to her with practised ease. 

“Someone is a little obsessed with Emily,” he says as Lily immediately starts to settle in Emily’s arms and Derek smirks.

“Seems she at least got something from you then, huh Hotch?”

Emily smiles, “I’m very loveable.”

“Actually, newborns aren’t capable of the feeling of love. It’s more likely that she doesn’t recognise that you are a separate entity to you yet so when she’s away from you or can’t smell you she thinks something is wrong,” Spencer adds, his eyes widening as they all look at him, JJ shaking her head slightly, and he clears his throat, “So…you know, when she starts day care it might be a good idea to send her there with one of your shirts.” 

“Thanks, Spence,” she says dryly, stifling a smile, “I’ll keep that in mind.” 

She passes Lily over to JJ, making sure she stays close, her hand wrapped around the baby’s tiny foot, and she settles into the familiar chaos of her chosen family.

___

Aaron was exhausted.

His first day back at work had started on very little sleep. Emily had tried to make him go back to bed when Lily woke them both up in the night, she’d even taken the baby downstairs to feed her instead of sitting next to him and doing it like she had so far, but he’d refused. Always happy and willing to help take care of his little girl.

Even if it meant he’d drunk more coffee in one day than he thinks his doctor would be happy with in a week. 

He’s about to head home to see his girls, his briefcase packed up when his phone rings. He frowns at the unfamiliar DC number on the screen and he answers it quickly.

“Agent Hotchner.”

“Agent Hotchner, hi, this is Commander Hall from the First District Metropolitan Police Department.” 

Aaron sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, “Commander Hall, if you’re calling about a case you want my team to work on there are procedures-”

“No, sir, I’m sorry it’s a little more…delicate than that.” 

He freezes, anxiety he doesn’t fully understand yet bubbling in his gut, “Delicate?” 

“Personal,” Commander Hall says, clearing his throat, clearly deeply uncomfortable. 

Aaron swallows thickly and sits back down in his desk chair, sending a cursory glance out to the bullpen, the desk that was once his wife’s empty. 

“Go ahead,” he says, his voice sterner than he intended. 

“We made a traffic stop an hour or so ago, the driver was a little over the speed limit but when one of our officers spoke to her about it she got defensive and she was eventually asked to leave the vehicle and was put through a sobriety test,” Commander Hall says, and Aaron feels the pit in his stomach get bigger, the pieces of the puzzle slotting together in his head, “She failed and is now in lock-up ready for processing. She gave us your name.” 

He sighs, the hand not holding the phone forming a fist, “And why would she do that?” He asks, even though he already knows the answer.

“She says she’s your mother-in-law.” 

-x-

....you know i love the yelling xoxo

-x-

Tag List:

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Join my tag list here!

#aaron hotchner #emily prentiss #aaron hotchner fanfiction #emily prentiss fanfiction #hotchniss fan fic #aaron x emily #hotchniss fanfic #hotchniss fanfiction #aaron hotchner x emily prentiss #hotchniss

[yenvengerberg]

Hello, Becca! I hope you're doing well! Bit of a random question perhaps but since you are a woman of great tastes, I am curious: What are your top 10 favorite shows?? Feel free to add what you like most about them! Thanks for indulging me and keep being amazing <3

hello phoe! hope you're well too<3 i'll be honest, whenever i get this kind of question my mind immediately goes blank and i forget any show i've ever watched, so this is by no means a 'definitive list' because there are definitely things i love that just slip my mind, but here are more shows i've really enjoyed this past year:

the witcher: for the women who take shit from no one and kick ass, but also for the found family vibes. the witcher will always have a special place in my heart, the characters are both fantastic on their own and interacting with each other, and this show will always feel like home to me

shadow and bone: just because i've giffed it a lot this week and it brought back all the feelings. comedy mixed with action, it was just an adventure and a joy. shadow and bone brings back the young adult fantasy nostalgia my brain craves, but injects a freshness of sarcastic comedy into it with the addition of the crows (my beloveds)

yellowjackets: rewired my brain chemistry. it was the biggest surprise of a show for me because i actually thought i really would not vibe with it as it's marketed towards horror and i am a scardy cat who does not vibe with anything horror. and yet, from the first episode it completely grabbed me. the wanting to know what happened next of course, but mostly just getting to see the intricate relationships between girls. there is nothing out there quite like yellowjackets, and for that reason it really is a special one

house of the dragon: divorced lesbians let's go! i love a show that's a tragedy. i love a show where i know the ending and it's inescapable. i love watching everything crumble whilst knowing there is no way out, and yet begging at every second for something to somehow change. just fantastic worldbuilding, fantastic characters, and fantastic relationships to watch burn. if you like angst and pain this one's for you!

our flag means death: i don't think anything exists quite like our flag means death. it's a breath of fresh air in the tv world. there's a character for everyone to love, whatever archetype you fall for. and it's guaranteed to be a rollercoaster of emotions: this show has made me laugh and cry but most importantly it never disappoints

the last of us: show of 2023 for me. i knew very little about the last of us game watching this, and for that reason i was hooked the second i started watching because i just had to know what happened. i still have to know what happens, the wait for 2024 may kill me. just a great action-packed show with the most beautiful acting in existence

good omens: good omens was just a little bit of light in my life this year. where a lot of shows in the currently tv world rely on heavy action sequences, or gore, or even sexual content, good omens challenges that perfectly. it's a light-hearted relief, even silly at times (in the best way possible), but also knows how to make you think and make you cry. i just adore how the plot is done, with a 'present day' storyline but also several stories that run in the past to see how the characters got to where they are now, it's a trope that i very much enjoy

bridgerton: i absolutely love a good period drama. i grew up watching many a jane austen adaptation with my mum, and so there is something incredibly comforting to me about adaptations set in this time. bridgerton is just a good vibe, i know it will make me feel warm and fuzzy inside no matter what drama it also serves on the side. plus kate and anthony? rewrote the definition of chemistry

the umbrella academy: honourable mention to my little superhero show of chaos. if you like superhero shows, watch the umbrella academy. if you don't like superhero shows, watch the umbrella academy. it's a chaotic mix of found family and time travel and trying to save the world and that makes it perfection

merlin: shoutout to this classic because i've been rewatching it lately and damn, they just don't make tv like they used to in the mid to late 2000s. at times it's cheesy, at times it makes you want to bawl your eyes out, and you know what? you'll never know which one it's going to be. it's absolutely ridiculous but entirely fun. once you accept that the bad cgi is hilarious you'll be guaranteed a wonderful show, just take your tissues with you for the sudden gut-punches of emotion it provides

#takaraphoenix #i hope this helps and isn't just me rambling as i often do anyway lol

[explorationsoftheid]

Autistic Trope

There’s this trope about us autistic people that we can be very sensitive to some things. Things that nobody else notices, will bother us. Well I ran into that this week.

You see a week or so ago I noticed a faint beeping in my office and when it was quiet. I could her it but nobody else could. Fast, faint, and fairly high frequency. Every time I tried to chase it down there would be some other noise in the house that would swamp it so I couldn’t localize it. I mean it was faint. I would hear it and then not. I found that I could hear it but only when it was quiet and I held my breath. It was just this thin tonal whisper.

Well this afternoon, my partner was out. All the TVs and streaming services were off and the cats were both asleep downstairs. It was my chance. First I tried moving around the house and listening. It was only in my office. Then I tried to localize it. I found that it was coming from a box on my desk that held a power-strip and the chargers for my devices. I unplugged the power-strip and the noise stopped. I plugged it back in and held my breath. My fear was that it would fix the problem but I would never know what it was. But after about ten second the unmistakable beeping started up again. Ok, so next I started unplugging the charging blocks one at a time. But when I got to the last one the noise was still there. Strange. There were two cabled plugged into USB sockets on the power strip, but they were just cables. Undeterred I unplugged one and as expected it had no effect. I then pulled the other one and the noise stopped. WTH? These are just cables. But I traced the cable to its other end and discovered that it was the charger for my AppleWatch. The tiny little plastic disk that magnetically charges the watch was emitting a tiny beeping noise, (actually it the USB plug on the other end that does). Why? I have no idea. Am I going to replace it? No reason to. The noise itself didn’t bother me, it was not knowing WHAT it was that was driving me up the wall. It was trying to describe this tiny, faint, almost a whisper noise to others who couldn’t hear it.

So I’ll be other here working in my office, my and my tiny pet beep.

#autistic adult #autistic community #autism community #autistic experiences #neurodivergent #actuallyautistic

[facedented]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN. || respond to the prompts out of character!

what made you pick up the current muse(s) you have?

uhm well i've been obsessed w/ this band & these characters ( especially 2D ) since i was a wee teenager,,,,,, his muse kinda came out of nowhere after a few years of being quiet & ran me over. he does not have a license.

is there anything you don’t like to write?

well obviously i wont write anything reprehensible or nasty but just like, surface level?? not that i can think of. it depends who / what muses im writing with, too.

is there anything you really enjoy writing?

any opportunity i can get to swim around 2D's head & make him retrospective is always a good time. i love exploring the complex thoughts characters have that we, as an audience, don't really get to see often -- or only catch glimpses of. i like getting messy & philosophical with it. but ofc angst tropes i adore, as well as found family. certain ships with 2D i also wouldnt mind exploring.

how do you come up with headcanons?

a lot of it is lived experience, i think. it'll be like "this character is just like me fr" & then i'll think of ways to make them even MORE like me. it's nice to see yourself represented, even in little ways. but sometimes i'll be inspired by fanfictions, music, tv shows . . . like i listened to an old panic! song & came up with a hc for 2D that way lmao. sometimes i'll just see humans doing human things & relate it to characters. my mind just doesn't shut up tbh

do you write in silence or do you play music?

always music. i feel like i'll pass out if i don't have some kind of sound going on constantly

do you plan your replies or wing them?

9 times out of 10 i'm winging it. sometimes, especially with first time interactions with muses from different fandoms or oc's i do some planning -- just to kind of get a grasp on who the other person is playing & how 2D would interact with them, or how their worlds would intersect. but if i worry too long it just makes me anxious haha so i just try to have fun with it & hope everyone else does, too!

do you enjoy shipping? 

im lowkey kind of reserved with my ships for 2D fjksljflks i only really have two & im not really looking to do shipping rps unless someone mused those characters & felt comfortable, but it's fun to reference his feelings in threads!

what’s your alias/name?

you can call me cal!

age?

24 years young.

birthday?

september 7th! 5 more months.

favorite color?

probably green!

favorite song?

i love music, it changes all the time.

last movie you watched?

a friend of mine showed me the second avatar movie lol

last show you watched?

'baby reindeer' on netflix. chilling.

last song you listened to?

superfast jellyfish -- gorillaz. ( shocker. )

favorite food?

idk man i love to eat but uh. i am always in the mood for chinese food.

favorite season?

fall, by far.

do you have a tumblr best friend?

not atm! most of the gay ppl in my phone are on discord lmao

tagged by : shamelessly stole it

tagging ( only if you want to! ) : @rebelpuff , @manaborn , @poeticvocals , @okoden & @moralpuppet. & anyone else who would like to!

#( ooc. / dash games . ) #should get to replies & things when i'm not so sleepy ghsjfs #so here's this in the meantime <3

[littlemourningstarr]

Attempting to write every prompt on this list! (Part 14/15, DickDamiColi)

-  “you already picked the takeout, no way are you picking the movie too!”

“I am not watching that,” Damian said, gesturing to whatever god awful, cheap horror movie was currently sitting on the TV, title screen flashing against the sounds of fake screams.

“Why not?” Dick yelled from the kitchen of his penthouse, where he was setting out the take out containers. They may have over ordered. Which was fairly normal. “It literally just released, no way you’ve seen it yet.”

Damian scoffed, folding his arms and sliding down into the couch. Despite the fact that his boyfriend couldn’t see him, he pouted.

Too bad for him, his other boyfriend could.

“Dames, don’t pout,” Colin teased, walking in from he and Dick’s bedroom, having shed his clothes and now comfortably dressed for a real movie night in joggers and one of Dick’s old tshirts. He plopped down on the couch next to Damian, tossed an arm around his shoulders and squeezed.

“Wait, is he pouting?”

“I was not!”

“You so were baby,” Colin teased, leaning over to nose at his shoulder, enjoy the scent of his cologne embedded in Damian’s hoodie. “You already picked the takeout, no way are you picking the movie too.” Damian looked away, and Dick made his way into the living room, leaning over the back of the couch.

“What’s wrong with it?” Dick asked again. “I made sure to avoid the horror tropes you don’t like- no ghosts, no freaky paranormal bullshit, I swear. Just a good old attempt at 80’s slashers. Probably with excessive nudity.”

Damian was quiet. And yes, the movie did avoid the things he found rather unsettling in horror films- and gods be damned that anyone knew lame movies could scare him. But… “Perhaps… I had hoped for something a little more… intimate.”

He refused to look at either of his boyfriends, and refused to acknowledge that his cheeks were indeed burning. In fact, he was three seconds from refusing to admit this whole evening even existed.

“I give,” Dick said, without hesitation. “If babybat wants to watch a romance I will be the last to complain.” He reached down, tussled Damian’s hair, before the movement turned to his fingers carding softly through the locks. Damian relaxed a little, eyelids fluttering, and next to him Colin dropped the remote in his lap, snuggling up more.

“Same,” he admitted, nuzzling at Damian’s shoulder. “You win Dames. Pick the movie too.”

Damian grabbed the remote, quickly clicking off the horror movie- and maybe he smiled to himself, deciding the evening could in fact continue to exist, and he didn’t need to drop off the face of sheer existence. Especially when his boyfriends were loath to actually deny him anything.

#dc #dickdamicoli #batcest #dickdami #damicoli #tiny boyfriends #dickcoli #ficlet #micro fic #dick grayson #damian wayne #colin wilkes #the return of Dick and his tiny boyfriends

[storytime-reviews]

XO, Kitty Season 1 TV Review

Yearning to feel closer to her late mother and surprise her long-distance boyfriend, Kitty sets her sights on attending a prestigious school in Seoul.

So I absolutely loved the To All The Boys I Loved Before film, whilst the books and other films were a mixture of good/average. I was interested to see how XO, Kitty would compare, although I didn’t think it would live up to my love for the first film, based on the fact that I always found Kitty a bit too annoying. Certainly there were aspects of the trailer that intrigued me, but I was right. Although not the worst part of the TATBILB universe, and an easy form of escapism, I just couldn’t connect to this series as much.

I won’t lie, I didn’t always find it easy to connect with and like Lara Jean, but Kitty was a completely different level for me. A lot of her character quirks are things I find personally annoying and can’t stand in people in real life, not to mention all of the second hand embarrassment from the often ridiculous choices she makes. I’m sure plenty of people find Kitty fun and relatable, but not me, and so much of her persona made it a difficult watch for me. Her boyfriend Dae I similarly didn’t care for, but for different reasons. He was either boring, or I just felt bad for him. I couldn’t find myself caring for him the way I did other characters, so I was quite happy with the decision Kitty made in the end.

On the other hand, I absolutely loved Yuri and Min Ho. Their characters were interesting and felt multi-dimensional in a way that the others weren’t – perhaps this is due to them initially being presented as mean and spoiled rich kids – until we delve more into their life and personalities. I actually enjoyed getting to know them more and watch them develop as characters. I just felt that same level of character development wasn’t necessarily represented in the others. Q was also a fun character to watch, although I didn’t love him like Yuri and Min Ho.

What particularly stood out to me in XO, Kitty is how chaotic the narrative and characters are, particularly in the last episode. Perhaps this is a sign that these stories are no longer for me, although I would probably still watch a season 2 for the characters I enjoy. I just felt that the final episode had a lot going on, particularly with the constant love interest changes, that felt very messy and unnecessary. Of course there was build up to these moments throughout the season, however I felt that the way they were handled in the end was too much at once. I know others who disagree with me, which is fine. Probably an age thing. I enjoyed Kitty’s changing dynamics with Min Ho and Yuri the most and am looking forward to seeing how this progresses in a second season. I think there was just more of a maturity there than her relationship with Dae. And not going to lie, I spent most of my time wanting to see an enemies to friends to lovers arc between Kitty and Min Ho. I’m a sucker for that trope and all of the associated banter.

Whilst the love story is one aspect of the narrative, another important part of XO, Kitty is her search to connect more with her late mother. I just felt that too often this part of the storyline took a back seat, and when it was at the forefront, it was far from the most engaging part of the overarching narrative. I did however enjoy finding out the truth about the adopted baby, and how everyone at KISS was connected.

#xo kitty #kitty song covey #anna cathcart #min ho #yuri han #dae heon kim #tv review

[kimpossibly]

𝐌𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐄 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 → j. paxton

pairing: jules paxton x fem!reader type: fic request: none warnings: nah, just fluff!

prompt/trope: none!

summary: jules and y/n have a movie night after winning a game. word count: 1.16k

"Did you see that last goal? I don't think I've ever seen a goalie jump so high and fail so miserably!"

Jules and Y/n were practically bubbling after the win against the Chiswick girls' team. They'd had the best defensive record for years now, and they'd beat them. The most brilliant thing about it was that it hadn't even been close! It wasn't even a question of if by the second half. Nothing made Jules happier than winning a game, and nothing made Y/n happier than Jules being happy.

"I'm home, mum!" Jules called into the house as they shut the back door behind them. Y/n's brother had given them a ride back from the game and Y/n had her overnight bag at her side, soccer bag in the other hand.

Jules's mum appeared in the kitchen, dressed in bright pinks and blues from head to toe. To put it lightly, she looked a bit absurd. Jules's mum loved bright colors. She never ceased her hobby of buying bright outfits for Jules that she'd never wear. Right then she looked like she'd stepped out of a paint store after having neon paint thrown over her. She looked surprised. "Y/n! You're here as well?"

"She's spending the night, remember?" Jules said, setting her back down by the door.

"Oh." her mum said, looking between them with suspicion for a moment. "Well then. Would you girls like anything to eat?"

"Nah, thanks mum. We're probably just going to watch a movie, and then maybe the game?" Jules looked to Y/n to confirm and she nodded.

At the mention of the word game, Jules's mum looked disappointed. She was never perfectly content with Jules's love of football. She was just about appalled when she found out that women's games were broadcast on television. It meant Jules could actively pursue her love of sport on and off the field. "Just...take off your shoes before you track dirt into the house."

The two girls nodded, slipping off their shoes. Jules peeled off her jersey (earning her a side eyed glance from her mum) and grimaced. "We need a shower." she joked.

At the word "we," Jules's mum jumped like she'd been shot, but by then Jules and Y/n were too far up the stairs to notice.

Two hours later, Jules and Y/n were sat in the living room with matching wet hair, half-watching a horror movie Jules had put on. They were more interested in talking about the game - and in the box of pizza on the table in front of them.

"She practically handed the ball to the other team. Joe was livid." Y/n recounted the moment when she looked over and saw their coach fuming over a pass made by one of the girls on their team.

"It's so odd, Lily's been playing so well lately too." Jules nodded. "I think she said her boyfriend came to the game—maybe that threw her off?"

Y/n shrugged. "Maybe. I wouldn't understand why, though."

"Come on, really? You don't think having the person you're dating in the stands wouldn't freak you out a bit? I think I'd want to show off as much as possible." Jules laughed. "Maybe she was thinking so hard about showing off for him that it messed up her play."

Y/n frowned as she got up off the couch to get more water from the kitchen. "I dunno. I guess I can't really imagine being with someone who doesn't play soccer. I mean, I don't think I could date someone who knew nothing about it. It's practically my life when school's out."

"I think I know what you mean." Jules hummed. "Dating anyone at all seems like too much sometimes. Especially with my mum, who throws boys at me whenever we're at one of her dinner parties. It's like she's trying to marry me off to the most eligible suitor or something."

Y/n walked back to find Jules sprawled on the couch on her back, eyes glued to the TV as she took up all the room. Y/n sighed a laugh. "Thanks for leaving me a spot."

"Well, come here then." Jules said, holding out her arms.

Y/n gave her a look and Jules rolled her eyes, beckoning her again. "Come on, there's plenty of room when you look at it vertically."

Y/n laughed at that, but she couldn't ignore how quickly her heart was beating. Jules, on the other hand, seemed perfectly cool and collected. To be fair, Jules was always an affectionate person. Whenever either of them scored a goal in a match they would always be found leaping into each other's arms, occasionally knocking each other over and laughing hysterically. It drove Joe mad, but they loved it. It was like a tradition.

But this? It was something different.

"You're mad." Y/n mumbled, but she set her glass of water down and walked over to Jules anyway. Shakily (but composed enough to hide it), she fell into Jules's arms, laying her head near her collarbone. Jules wrapped her arms around her, sighing into her hair. "See? Cozy."

Y/n laughed quietly, but she couldn't quite get over the fact that their legs were tangled together and her head was tucked in the crook of Jules's neck so comfortably. God, she really hoped Jules couldn’t feel how fast her heart was beating.

“Jules.” Y/n spoke suddenly, almost startling herself.

“Yeah?”

Y/n looked up at Jules. “When you said dating anyone seems stressful, did you mean anyone?”

Confused, Jules laughed slightly. “Er, yeah I guess so. What d’you mean?”

“Well, we never really talk about guys, right? I mean…it just never really seems important to either of us. And…I dunno, you just don’t seem super interested in all that.” she said, then quickly added: “I’m not either.”

Jules frowned. “I guess not.”

By now Y/n heart was practically in her throat, thumping so hard she could practically feel it in her skull. No, she was sure she’d offended Jules. That was it. “Jules, I–”

Before she could finish the sentence, Jules leaned down and pressed her lips to Y/n’s. It sucked all the air from Y/n’s lungs, a cold wash of shock going up her spine. There is no way this is real.

In an instant it was over. Jules pulled away, and Y/n looked up at her with her mouth slightly agape. For a moment Jules panicked, wondering if she had gone about this completely wrong, but then Y/n moved up so that she was straddling Jules’s waist and kissed her again. This time Jules was the one caught off-guard, but she kissed her back like she had planned it all along. 

When she pulled away, Y/n looked at her with hopeful eyes. “Is this too much?” she asked quietly.

Jules smiled. “Not at all.”

Author's Note: If there's one universal experience I know about, it's Bend It Like Beckham being a gay awakening. I simply will not ever get over this movie!!!! Nor do I want to!!!!!! I hope you enjoyed this fic, I've loved Keira Knightley's character in BILB for so long it was crazy to me that I'd never written a fic for her! Enjoy this one, loves!

#bend it like beckham #jules paxton #juliette paxton #wlw #bend it like beckham fanfiction

[slooshee]

i am upset that i just watched a video called "the death of analog horror" where the person talks about the genre becoming stale without even mentioning angel hare or welcome to dreamworld (if you haven't heard of that, it features hunted animatronics, but they still act like people, also all the images are art pieces. check it out if you have the chance) like i know it was probably bc the person just didn't hear about them but the thought of them being obscure also makes me sad :(

So, I actually watched the video you mentioned after I saw this. I’ll be completely honest; I’ve had it in my recommended for a bit now and have been avoiding it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to question things (especially things you like) and be critical, but a lot of those videos are always really pessimistic, and kinda overdramatic. And yeah. I dislike this video. Nothing against the creator, of course, he’s just saying his opinion, and I can respect that. He seems to be a fan of horror and this video was probably made from a good place. However, I feel like some of his points might not have been the most informed/researched (like how he showed a 'Mystifying The Oracle' Video as the latest TMC video). Yes, there are a lot of tropes in analog horror and many cliches. But that could be said about literally any genre ever! But regardless people are allowed to dislike cliches. But I personally don’t have an issue with them if you take that idea and do something new with it. I think one of the main reasons I dislike videos like this is because I used to be an analog horror hater. Believe it or not. I thought Analog Horror would be like how cartoon creepypastas were, with bad editing and the same tired cliches with no substance. (Which by the way if you want some fantastic retelling of those creepypastas VibingLeaf’s work is really cool.) I was hesitant about checking out TWF because of how similar it looked to FNAF. But to me, it wasn’t really all that similar once I actually checked it out. And yes, analog horror has cliches. Even some of my favorite series have things I don’t personally like or don’t think are scary in them. But analog horror is so much more than stretched smiles and glitchy TV screens to me. I think one of my favorite things about Analog horror is actually seeing how people take similar or the same concepts and make them their own. Gemini and TMC is such a perfect example of this. I don’t really think agree with saying TMC “improved” upon Gemini because although the “fake people” and “alternates” are similar concepts on the surface, they’re different in how they function and behave. White Stag is a pretty cool series I checked out last night, and I was worried for a second; it was gonna be too similar to TMC or Gemini. But it wasn’t. It has elements I like from TMC or Gemini, but I thought it stood on its own after I watched it all. As you said, there are some great Analog Horror series if you look, like Angel Hare. And I actually have heard of Dreamworld! but I didn’t know it was analog horror :0 I’ve seen a few Rainbott vids and like their work from what I’ve seen so maybe I’ll check it out. But don’t be sad! On the bright side, Angel Hare has been getting a ton of traction thanks to creators showing it to their audiences like Night Mind. I found it through ManlyBadassHero’s playthrough of the game right before it blew up. The East Patch all seem like lovely people and I really wish them all the best I’m excited to see what they make next analog horror or otherwise!

#analog horror #my thoughts #hope this makes sense #slooshwrites #slooshspeculating #thank you for the recommendation! #sorry for the insane ramblings