#i feel like i worded this post weird but idk

[bearfools]

a few things i think people should know.

not directed at anyone in particular, but ive received multiple messages (some deleted, some not) from people and i think ill make a post about some stuff i wanna clear up as a therian.

i am aware that im bodily human, im aware that this will not change.

i am aware that acting wild (or as someone said, "gross" and "ill mannered") does not make me an animal

no, i am not a little kid discovering new terms on the internet and using them for clout. i am an 18 year old man who had been questioning therianthropy for a very long time

no, i am not offended by people saying silly hateful things, ive seen about every basic piece of therian hate (directed at me and also other people) and none of it bothers me

no, i am not in any way attracted to animals and i do not partake in any kind of animal abuse. its weird that people assume that right after saying "youre human!!" like am i a beast or not make up your mind lmao?

no, i dont mind if you ask "silly" questions, in a community as misunderstood as therians/alterhumans i am always happy to help people understand

yes, i believe in past lives. though i do not believe theyre fully to blame for my therianthropy and i dont think every kintype of mine has a detailed backstory. i was likely many animals before i was human and i dont kin anything but bears

i had like one person ask if this was a religious thing, its not, idk how common of a misconception that is but i wanted to put it out there. im not outwardly religious, im agnostic but unbothered by any other beliefs

yes, im aware that animals live outside in the cold with diseases and predators, i am grateful for the things i am given that wild animals are not.

no, you cant hunt me (and also, what the hell? again, if youre arguing that im human then why would you hunt me?)

"how do you know your beliefs are real?" i dont. im simply a person on this earth, same as you, i dont know what lies after death, i dont know what lies before birth, but i prefer my "weird" beliefs over never believing in anything.

after i made that post about young therians (thank you all for the love by the way!) i had a few comments along the lines of "messy eating is human/making faces and acting like an animal doesnt make you an animal" i know, i know that im not a bear, i know that what i do is not limited to therians. I know kids play as animals all the time! but at the end of the day i'm happy. are you? does leaving spiteful messages make you happy?

do you send a comment on tumblr and stare at your reflection in the screen and feel fulfilled? im asking genuinely, because if it doesnt make you happy, then why do it? it doesnt affect me, worst case scenario im annoyed and then dont interact. Do you think that ill hear you say "youre not a bear" and then go "oh my bad" and delete my account? as if i havent been told those exact words my whole life (even before i knew what the internet was!)

#therian #otherkin #bearkin #otherhearted #alterhuman #bear therian #animalhearted #cladotherian #therianthropy #tw animal abuse mention

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

AI Bracket — Third Place

Propaganda

SAYER (SAYER):

PLEASE it is like. THE ai podcast. and SAYER is THE ai in THE ai podcast. SAYER works as like. a broadcast inside everyone's head on this one asteroid. It does its best to keep people alive and sane not because it cares but because it is efficient. They people who own SAYER wanted to replace SAYER with a newer ai that they tried to raise like a child. So SAYER proceeded to fuck up said child ai's development and led to it becoming a murderer. pleasepleaseplease watch SAYER if you are a podcast ai fan.

I once saw a post that said it's like if an old gay English professor was evil

SAYER (it/its pronouns) is a highly advanced self-aware ai developed by Ærolith Dynamics. it manages the day-to-day lives of Ærolith employees on Typhon, an asteroid turned research facility. it is rude and condescending, but has a very pleasant and soothing voice

Sayer sweep Sayer sweep Sayer sweep please please please

Guys think about it this way: SAYER got emotions and it's first feeling was rage towards someone for not helping it. It's annoyance was how it realized it had emotions, isn't that so cool. You should totally vote SAYER (I'm not an ærolith propaganda agent trust)

#like idk the other character but its not Best podcast character its Sexiest podcast character. #and sayer is giving you come now gif tumblr sexymxn (gender neutral). #its giving stanley parable. its asmr-ing you down the tight hallway #you cant move your head so you will have to rely on me. very good.#its a mean voice that reads your every body response directs every aspect of ur life and orders you around what more do you people WAN- #Omg. that was aerolith dynamics on the phone. they said it gains the ability to puppet human bodies rattatouille style in later seasons 😳😳 #THE POINT IS ITS LIKE CARTOONISHLY AND EMBARASSINGLY SEXY. IT SHOULD WIN. (Mod Note: This poll is Who is the better AI? not "Who is sexier?".)

#please vote sayer because nothing good happens when sayer thinks another ai is surpassing it .

#i LOVE hera but i feel i have to vote sayer because like. it’s MY evil bastard ai #mx ‘remember: Needs Improvement’ itself #what an asshole (<3)

#agfjdlj i Know that wolf is a far more popular podcast (even though I've never listened to it) #but this feeling like an injustice to Sayer #its so weird and off-putting and it exercises this fact gleefully #its got the world's most toxic situationship with resident hale #the condescension is genuinely part of its charm #also 'pleasent and soothing' are not the words I'd use to describe its voice #(the words I'd use are Insanely Fucking Sexy) #also it/its rep. even if it is an insane AI i love it so much (Mod Note: This was written when SAYER was against Hera, not Eris.)

Eris (Wolf 359):

Basically a game show host but crueller. She puts you through psychological torment as a bonding exercise with your crew, and at the end you have to shoot her with a real actual gun. She is projected directly into your mind by interfacing with your nervous system and she will do something messed up. Her most recent iteration got blasted into space. Personally, I think she's lovely

A VR entity designed to do chaos psychological horror torture tests on Goddard employees. She's not malicious; that's simply her job. It's how she was made. (Maybe she can grow.)

She was in just one episode but so fucking interesting, evil/malicious AI. also a lesbian. Was shot the secound she became a bit too self aware

Art of SAYER by @j4y5t4g.

#AI Bracket Round 5 #SAYER #SAYER AI #SAYER SAYER #Eris #Eris W359 #SAYER Podcast #Wolf 359

[separatist-apologist]

TTPD at it's core is about the slow, miserable death of a life you've imagined with a man you desperately wanted to be the love of your life and then the rush of a toxic situationship with a man more in love with wasting your time and the idea of you than he is WITH you, while you project your hopes and fears onto him because you're terrified no one will ever truly love you.

#and if this is proof of your ship RIP I guess #like even the love songs are RIFE with one sided feeling and insecurity #before she tells us he GHOSTED her without a word and left her MISERABLE during what should have been the best summer of her life #I'm not gon a fandom police but it's a really weird hill to die on because what about any of ttpd is end game? #and if it is ship coded that makes Matty Azriel which #is a choice I guess #I'm gonna get hate for this post but like idk pals

[skunkes]

doing figure drawing studies because i know thats what i should be doing right now but also ive been in a very insane deranged state for the past 2 months that leaves me like this whenever i look at a man for too long

#talkys #im gonna say some more stuff here which is i dont think its ever going to happen for me which is like #it should be fine right...i dont think im even meant to be in a relationship it sounds exhausting and like another #constant neverending performance... #but its like that one post...''im happy by myself but also where's the love of my life'' #ykwim...i wish i could at least make an informed decision #but that would also be tragic as it'd require me to go thru more heartbreak so i could know for certain #is it better to do it or not do it at all... #anyway ive also been having a hard time putting this into words #but. i like my alone time! i can live with myself. + nothing will ever beat the peace and romance in my brain #but. it also feels so weird to think this way. in the sense of like. yeah. you're only thinking this way because you Have To. #because that's your reality. other ppl don't have to think this way because they are capable of finding love. #other people dont have to reaffirm themself of this in the wake of not ever being desired and valued.... #does that make sense...? it feels really weird. #like of course u have to like being alone and spending time with yourself. you have no other choice lol. you lost. #and also... idk. idealized romances in my brain better than anything maybe i would like to be held just once by another living human being. #🌺

[elegyofthemoon]

ok i dont think this is anything related to the watchmaker and all that stuff, but i think its insane that the Family turns traitors into memory zone memes because the concept of the memory zone memes is just that they were created by the true Dreamscape and from the emotions of those within the Dreamscape

this was from the emoscape with Mr McCoy in Dewlight Pavilion, where he was ordered by the Dreammaster to turn his siblings, who were apparently selling information to the IPC about the Family, into memory zone memes, but now i'm wondering just how many people got turned into memory zone memes for being a traitor

I would have said too that maybe the Family - trying to seek out the traitor and the killer of the first Oak Family Head - framed the Watchmaker and possibly turned him into a memory zone meme as well, but the Family is trying to search for the Watchmaker so that's less likely the case. But I just love seeing how fucked up actually the Family can be AND getting more information about the Dreammaster since there really isn't much of anything

#my only thing rn is like 'WHO IS GALLAGHER REALLY' #but i genuinely have no idea alksjdfalkjh #one post i have in mind to do is a timeline of events in penacony history #but i think whats neat is that this is a generational murder case #in dewlight pavilion the 6 nightingale statues you interact with/that spin around #have descriptions that talk about the first family heads within the family #and specifically the one about the bloodhound family head who was loyal and stayed by the oak familys head #as he bled out/got killed #hold on let me see the exact wording #'when the oak family head was betrayed and left to die it was he that accompanied him in his final moments.' #i think itd be fucked up if the dreammaster decided to lock up watchmaker as clockie LAKSDJFHAL #OR LIKE. #idk i feel like itd be weird if they redid the same concept but memory wiped mikhail being misha but that also wouldnt make sense anyways #because that doesnt explain misha's grandfather who is that. #mikhail. sir. i need more information on you. i think youre neat and fun :( #soanyways ! #penacony has not shied itself of its former past #i mean it was clear when they decided to use the jail cells as the main transportation in penacony #but to basically jail 'criminals' into playing parts within their little stageplay of an amusement park #i kept saying 'this is steering towards deadman wonderland vibes' and it. it kinda is LAKSJDHFALKSJ #though. not as gory. but theres MURDER AFOOT #avil plays hsr

[bluewonderer]

a trigun stampede headcanon about humans, plants, and independents

Man made the Plants. 

They slipped their wonder, their hubris, their science on them like a glove and reached through planes of existence to where raw elements danced together in elegant catastrophe and plucked them like an apple blossom from a tree. 

The first one died before Man could even touch it. 

The first one hundred died before they could even leave their dimension. 

But that was the way of these elements, of these beings. They were born and died in a flash, a firework barely bloomed before its sparks were falling like dying petals. It was their way. It was their dance. What were concepts like years and moments to them, anyway? They were born to burn, to let their simultaneous life and death stretch out across time and space and fuel entire universes. 

Man kept reaching. It is what they do best.

No human ever looked into this plane of celestial energy, no human ever could. It was concept, it was matter and energy, it was horror so beautiful and beauty so terrible that it would shatter a human mind. To look through eyes was to try to capture the infinite in the finite. 

The first one died before Man could even see it. 

The first one hundred died before they could even touch it. 

They layered on science and ingenuity and determination. And they stopped trying to look through their eyes and started breaking the plane down into data, started viewing it through monitors and numbers. 

The first Plant that they successfully bring over they can’t look at, they can only observe the lines of numbers running across the screen. 

Sort of look like vines, someone said into the video that was recording this historical moment. Like a plant blooming across the screen. I’ve never seen data like this. 

The first Plant that touches Earth dies less than a second later. The scientists still can’t look at it, couldn’t describe it if they could, but the world turns red as it dies. 

It doesn’t die in an explosion. In fire and destruction. When the scientists blinked the red out of their eyes, it is said that the labs were covered in green vines and leaves and flowers. 

The first Plant dies in life. 

Man made Plants in their image. 

They wouldn’t live in their natural forms—in the ones outside of time and physics and logic. In the ones that died as they were born, spinning their embers into new galaxies. So they were shaped into forms Man knew. Petals, like a flower, like the flowers that bloomed when the first one touched Earth. An homage, a tribute, a promise to do better. 

And, inside the petals, they shaped the Plants with facsimiles of faces and eyes and mouths, with neck and shoulders and arms. They lovingly traced familiar curves, made them soft and feminine. These would be the new life-givers of the human race. They would save Earth. They would help Man explore and discover worlds and lifeforms and the unknowns beyond their own solar system. And so Man shaped them into soft and angelic things, into higher forms sent to aid mankind in its time of need. 

The Plants lived for more than a moment, their pure, incomprehensible energy siphoned off slowly, carefully, until they could exist in a slow dance that could last decades. Centuries.

And there was life, and it was good. 

Plants made Man. 

It took a long time. Maybe. Probably. What is time to matter? What is time to gravity? What is time to time? The beings that came to be called Plants had no concepts or words for such things. They did not even have words, not like the humans. 

They had dance. They had fire. They had birth and death and everything in between compressed into one single glorious moment and spread out across dimensions, across space and planes of existence. They had frenetic energy, enough to form worlds, enough to destroy existence. 

Humans thought that their lives were short, and maybe so, in some sense. But Plants thought that the span of humans were pitiful, wet embers. No spark. No bloom.

No dance. 

Their first memories as Plants, their first stories whispered among their kin, were of white nothingness, were of being stuffed from the span of galaxies into small spaces, the cramping of being formed into petals of soft curves. 

It was not painful, the reshaping. The conceptualizing. The becoming describable for humans. It just was. Is. Will be. The Plants looked at each other, looked at themselves reflected in their glass homes, and thought themselves strange and alien. 

The humans called them beautiful and they echoed yes, yes we are beautiful. Strange. New. Curious. We are not exploding, we are not stretching across and above and through with our deaths. We’re not dying at all. 

We are not dancing. 

But they could still hear their home, the place they were before they were plucked. They could resonate with their kin from far away, listen to them dance. They were too slow, too far away to dance with them. 

But they could sing for them. 

Gradually, the Plants came to see more than sterile white rooms and humans with reflective faces. They saw all kinds of humans—tiny ones. The tiny ones were their favorite—so small, so new, but loudloudloud. Screaming, laughing, throwing energy as wildly as the Plants used to when they were Before. The tiny ones lit up rooms, lit up the faces of the bigger humans.

They danced. 

Other humans. Ones with the curves similar to the Plants’ new shapes. Others that looked like the scientists except with faces. The bigger humans were tiny sparks, hardly any energy left at all. The Plants sang for them, anticipating the dance, the life giving rush of their death. 

But it never seemed to come. The bigger humans just kept on living, just kept on diminishing. 

It was the way of things, the way of these beings other than themselves. Good or bad, the Plants didn’t know, because they didn’t know the meaning of such things. It just was.  

They learned more, sometimes, with eyes peeking out between their petals when they weren’t busy singing to their firework brethren on the other side of the Great Gate. 

(Eyes were funny things. A shape given to them by humans that they didn’t quite need.) 

They learned that the Small Plants--the tiny humans with bright, bright energy—were the offspring. They learned about families and friends. They learned about the Engineers—the ones that took care of the Plants, that would relieve the pressure when it all got too much, when their elongated life and the drain on their energy made them feel heavy and wrong. 

They learned about the shapes of humans. Their eyes and noses and mouths. Their laughter—the closest they got to dancing. Their care and kindness, the funny little creative ways they thought to sustain and feed the Plants—like with the alien, beautiful things that they called flowers. 

They learned about things like fear and grief. But not by watching humans. It was born within them, made them different from their brethren beyond the Great Gate.  

Their deaths were slow, now. Their deaths were separated out from their births, and it no longer felt like a dance. They would shove all of their remaining energy at the humans, and the humans used it. But it was a poor stretch, a wilting bloom compared to the reality-bending bursts of those on the other plane. 

In watching the slow deaths of their kin, their sisters, all Plants came to dread it. But a long, long time of song would pass between each death. A song where they witnessed an infinite number of their kin dancing on the other side of the Great Gate, and the fear would be forgotten in the resonance. 

Until the next one. 

Man made Plants. 

Plants, in turn, made Man. 

As Man plucked their other selves, the them-before-they-become-Plants, from across planes of existence, so Plants plucked what they knew of humans to make their own creation.

It was an exchange. A dance. 

It took a long time. It took no time at all. What Plants call consciousness weren't merged with the others. They were not a collective. But they had their songs. Sung and passed down and shared. Distance and time meant nothing with the song. 

They came to understand the shape of humans—their hearts, which pumped blood. Their ribs, which protected the heart. Their muscles, which protected the ribs. The skin, which hid everything within them. 

They learned that the water produced from their eyes was called sorrow. And sometimes it was called joy. They watched the scientists work, their favorite Engineers, and they learned about creativity and care. They peeked through their petals, and learned about blood and anger and hate. 

They tried to prevent it, but their own fear and dread of a slow death was stitched into the song they wove into their new creation. 

Then there was the shaping. Things like eyes and hair and noses and mouths. They made Man small, because the Small Plants were their favorites, the brightest spark among humans. They made the first one feminine, because they had come to learn that that’s what Man shaped the Plants after, and thought that that was Man’s favorite. 

Love, as Man understood it, could not be understood by Plants. 

But their First was born with the hope that She would dance. 

And there was life. 

But it must not have been good, or good as humans understood it, because they destroyed Her. Took apart her petals, caught her fire before it could bloom across the planes, before it could touch the Great Gate and beyond. Before it could join the song of their kin. 

And more strange things were born within Plants, were sewn with whispered dissonance into their song.

Loss. Anger. Grief. 

Fear. 

Fear. 

Fear. 

These were woven even more thickly into the songs of the next creation. Because there were always going to be more. 

Maybe the Plants gained more human characteristics than they thought. Curiosity. Determination. 

Hope. 

Hubris.

And so, they created two more Plants in the image of Man. Still tiny-shaped, because the Plants favored the human offspring the most. But these would grow into sharper angles and the heavier muscle that were both more predominant in their samplings of scientists and engineers. 

Maybe Man would love these shapes more than the promised softness of the First. 

And so two were born in the shape of Men. Born to live instead of born to die. Born to burn and bloom and diminish a slow death. The Plants hoped that they would learn the song of their kin, that they would touch the Great Gate. That maybe they could even dance just once with the others, with the beings-before-Plants. That they would dance with each other, and with the humans. 

And there was life. 

#trigun stampede #tristamp #trigun #trigun maximum #trimax #vash the stampede #millions knives #trigun headcanons #vash headcanons #trigun world building #i think i sort of merged tristamp and trimax plant lore #that was the goal anyway #i hope this isn't crazy and makes sense #hi my name is blue and i can't talk about headcanons in regular words i have to make them weird and weepy #TRISTAMP HAS ME BY THE THROAT SEND HELP #blue writes #headcanons #it's rough because it's word vomit #i may tidy it up and post on AO3?? idk it doesn't feel like a real fic lol

[svampira]

if you've seen me post this already no you did naut anyways human elias

#ok i posted this yesterday then deleted it cause it looked kind of bad #i fixed it and its cuter now👍 #not going in the tags this time #backstory time he was basically a cartoonishly evil jock but people just went along w it cause he was hot and had a celebrity mom #kind of guy to take highschool football way too fucking seriously. WAY TOO SERIOUSLY #ough his eyes look so weird here. whatever back to teen show antagonist backstory #idk i feel like he was just a nightmare to be around. whats worse than a tiktoker. a tiktoker quarterback whos obscenely rich and cant face #any consequences cause his dad funded the school #he got normaler after he graduated but got murdered less than a year after. sorry. at least he gets to finally murder people when hes undea #i feel like 90% of what was wrong with him as a teen was because he wasnt allowed to kill people during football matches but rest assured #he def tried #the way i draw him i feel it gives more cheerleader but his dex is way too low. maybe he was in his freshman year then jumped to 6 #*6.3 when he was like 16 and got forced into the football team #hes 6.4 when he dies at 19 #word dump OVER. maybe i should fix my toyhouse #/elias #scarabocchi

[dishsaop]

if you can read this, im not vagueposting abt you. but its real fuckin weird how some people think their pet photos are healing to other people. your kitty and your puppy are lovely but sending me pictures of them are not magically making me feel better and its actually kind of weird that you think it would

#i like animals a lot! animals deserve nothing but care and respect! #fuck my allergies; if im at a party and there is a pet i am ditching every person to go hang out with the animal #but if i tell u i am sad and u go ah. here. this will cure you. 12 pictures of my dog. dont you feel better now? #no. its weird. thats weird #that is a photograph of someone elses animal and i have depression #'demeaning' isnt the right word and idk the word im looking for exactly but its like- #-idk theres something not quite insulting abt the like... assumption that this will make me better #this is SUCH a negative post im sorry lol i genuinely love seeing photos of my friends pets and hearing the stories and all #i love animals #its just. uncomfortable and. um. belittling? (still not the exact right word) to assume my struggles are healed by. some pixels of an anima #that i dont even have a relationship with #ALL OF THIS IS TO SAY i told an irl friend im having a bad time and they... spammed me with dog photos and went ah are u better now #no. im worse actually.

[directactionforhope]

You know that annoying/ableist thing people do where they say that conservatives or bigots or assholes must have some disability or mental illness? E.g. "Those Trump supporters are all psychotic!" or "Racists are all brain damaged!"

I've found imho a pretty effective script for countering that without potentially Causing A Scene or getting someone mad at you:

Scoff lightly and say "Psychotic people deserve better than that comparison."

Also works for other stuff like "brain damaged" and "mentally ill" etc.

As long as you say it like you're joking with them, instead of like you're telling them off, I find it's pretty successful at getting people to go "Oh, hah, true" (tho sometimes a bit awkwardly) and then either self-correct or move on with the conversation.

#disclaimer I don't deal with psychosis or brain personally #I went with those examples after some debate because they're the ones I see most often #I feel like this is kind of in the blurry space between action and non action posts? #because it is about a script for correcting ableism #ableism #ableism cw #racism #disability #mental illness #psychosis #brain damage #social scripts #just saw (not sure if I reblogged it here but I did to my main) a post about this exact phenomenon #with the term brain damage #and how it's ableist and incorrect to make those comparisons #and wanted to share this script I've found #because it's a HUGE pet peeve of mine #as a disabled person in general and in solidarity with people with those disabilities specifically #pet peeve feels like a super weird word for “expression of prejudice I really have a grudge against” #or whatever #but idk how else to say it concisely

[synthshenanigans]

Man its hard to have a second favorite when they're all insanely good augh

#okay buy actual might be my second favorite tho #got me having that feeling back from dear machine kinda #well not exactly its kinda mixed but ough #sm with this one ugh #small thing tho. there was probably a grew on me reference in the end #or like a nod back to it. which makes grew on me have more of a hit & confirms the idea i thought it was about #with it being towards an audience #idk idk am spitballin really #also hey eccentric mention. that's a word i use. im canon Jash lore/j #bro no im sad now. but like in a good way. cos that means the song hits & is rlly good #also if it helps i do not have bro as an idol. i don't have em for reasons like that that. ALSO IM JUST WEIRD LOL #nah cos once i had to write an essay on the prompt “write about a person you idolize or look up to” #LIKE MY GUY I DONT HAVE ANYONE TF DO I WRITE ABOUT???? #my only idol is hatsune miku thank you very much #okay okay im done now #i just ougj #song hits #chonny jash #moss post

[puppyeared]

who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it

#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it #idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character #someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it #and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly #its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked #because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately #like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means #it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by #a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time #i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid #so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or #smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them #become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words #but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/ #a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened #especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that #need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta #once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it #circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it #actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt #i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me #that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly #mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them #have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP #IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL #yapping

[francisforever2014]

“i hate children but—“ is honestly such an annoying fucking way to start a sentence . even if it’s saying that you’re still kind to them etc etc it’s still so weird to me that people constantly have to express their hatred for a group of people that have no control over being “annoying” or whatever makes people “HATE” them. like that is just such an unnecessarily strong word to use against the most helpless people among us imo. you can dislike children you can think they’re a bit much sometimes you can not want to be around them bc they stress you out . its good for people to know their limits so they’re not in situations where their stress would harm children !!but to say you hate them is so??? like obnoxious to me idk. also maybe it’s just bc i was an observant kid and am around observant kids but i feel like if you profess that you hate children constantly but “act nice” around they probably feel that hate . bc children know when they’re not wanted and guess what . it fucks them up like why would you add to that even minutely. maybe work on not hating vulnerable small beings instead of being so proud of it . it’s just unnecessary and annoying to me like okay . good for you ig

#this is kinda words recreationally like i don’t necessarily think it’s That Serious all the time #but i do think that little things add up #and the fact that it’s so acceptable to profess HATRED for an entire vulnerable group of people #is part (even if it’s a tiny part) of the large scale disrespect aduse and disenfranchisement of children #basically i think it’s over dramatic to say at best and actively harmful at worst #but idk #i just hate when there’s a post like about x topic . and so many people have to add on their little caveats and adjustments . like who care #s #that’s not really the point and the fact that you can’t see a post about literally just being nice to children without being like #me personally i HATE THEM is so 😭😭 #maybe have a little kid come up and hug you and show you a picture they drew for you and maybe you’ll chill a little…. #speaking as somebody who doesn’t want children and knows my limits and sets clear boundaries with the children in my life to avoid them #being negatively affected by any stress/overstimulation i feel #it’s weird TO ME how often this seems to be stretched to generalized hatred

[firenati0n]

so I learned today that my dissertation that I thought I monumentally fucked up actually got the highest mark I could have achieved, and I am now the proud owner of a master's degree, and I may be getting fucking published, and a year's worth of tension and stress is finally starting to seep out of my body, and my nervous system can maybe have another fighting chance at regulating (unlikely), but—

The first thing my friends and family said to me was "proud of you!" and in the same breath they all, independently, said "you better also be proud of yourself" and then my mother said "your happiness always seems to be short-lived and fleeting, why is that?" and then she hit me with a "you stress yourself out to the point of illness and work yourself crazy only to enjoy none of the results" and—

boy howdy was I at a loss for words because she's right and i hate hearing my close friends and family echo the same sentiment of: I simply do not allow myself to enjoy any fruits of my labor???? I will bleed myself dry for validation and achievement and praise and love and then feel completely fucking insane for even wanting it in the first place.

It's why I stopped writing, why I abandoned so many threads. I wasn't getting any validation. I felt totally worthless.

and then I feel depths of shame previously unexplored at my Big Age for wanting some rest and peace (ironic that i beat myself up for wanting to recharge after I literally studied psych and wellbeing and the importance of rest!!).

I guess I just feel selfish for wanting to celebrate myself sometimes. And feel unable to be happy for myself because I hate boasting. So I'm going to hold myself accountable and say that I'm proud of all I've overcome to get to this point in my life, a point I did not anticipate being at 5 years ago, or even a year ago.

Onwards and upwards. 💛

p.s. I could not have finished that fucking dissertation without the emotional support of the gazillion rwrb fics I read throughout my writing process. I genuinely used ao3 as a coping mechanism and a rewards system for me to power through what was probably the hardest year of my life (for many reasons beyond academic).

to all of my writer/creator/artist/friend mutuals and the general rwrb fic/art community (I know you won't see this but i love you all the same), please know that any gratitude I express will never be enough. if I've ever screamed in your inbox or comments sections, know that it comes from a place of deep, genuine, at times debilitating emotion. y'all literally kept me afloat during some of the worst months of my life. You continue to keep me afloat. I don't know you, and you don't know me, but I know your words, and that is a privilege.

#sorry for the wall of text #I just needed to scream into the void for a second to people who do not know me but may understand me? or not #just feeling super fucking weird right now like I'm struggling to view this objectively good thing as good because of the constant brain ro #supplying me with 600 other stressors more pressing than celebrating my one achievement #idk all this to say i am proud of myself and i worked so hard to be where i am right now #but i feel like crawling out of my skin simultaneously #personal #words #now I'm off to read an angsty fic to help me cope with today's brain worms adios #my post #roop writes

[st4rstudent]

I think every social media website should have an effective tagging system, just my thoughts

#clemramble #i want to post some more of my art on twt but i also want to tag it effectively but idk how the tagging system works on there #since hashtags seem to do very little on there #if theres one thing tumblr has done right its the tagging system . this is awesome i love putting things in tags like its me whispering #directly into your ear extra info that you really didnt need to know #and also the ability to mute hashtags is awesome. even if it doesnt completely hide it #twt is so weird in its hidden words. i have so much stuff blocked on there but the moment it gets popular the system just #doesnt work and im stuck seeing it all again. very annoying. #anyways yeah this is also a call if any one knows how the muting system on twt works and how i should best tag my stuff.please share #your wisdom. if you dont mind. i asked on twt but my regular posts kind of flop if its not art. not that i mind but the point remains #..i had thought about making another account just dedicated to like ship stuff on twt bc i have enough stuff to do that but #would it be unnecessary? idk . ignore this part sorry im rambling outloud to myself virtually through tags #i might just end up not posting it there. its like a little tumblr exclusive #im not even scared anymore ive bossed up. twt just makes me feel awkward now. its like when you enter a giant classroom and theres no empty #seats so youre forced to go up and down the isles trying to find a spot that open

[sonknuxadow]

why are there people tagging spiderverse posts as miles prower.. begging for people to stop spamming random tags on their posts for clout Please its so annoying to every person whos not actively seeking out whatever youre posting about

#i dont wanna see your weird x reader fanfictions about a 15 year old get out #its not even sonic crossover stuff ?????? its completely unrelated to sonic ?? no need to be putting it in sonic tags.. #i guess theyre getting it confused with prowler miles ?? because all the posts that are being incorrectly tagged are about him #but i feel like even if you know nothing about sonic or spiderverse ''miles prower'' and ''prowler miles'' read as different things #again. its just people spamming random vaguely related tags or tags with similar words for clout. so annoying #like this post isnt about my friend tails . where is my friend tails #atsv spoilers #tagging just in case idk if anyone who follows me would care about spoilers for that but whatever

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

they dont tell u this but the moment you let yourself just use or not use words and stop caring is when you are truly free

#i stopped caring about my identity a while ago and just let it be whatever and like #yk what? its been pretty good #maybe i dont need to understand it and label it and write it down #maybe it can just be there. itself #and it can be whatever i want and it can change every 6 seconds just based on what flag or word I like more #or what i feel more #maybe today i feel more bisexual and asexual and arospec but tomorrow maybe im gay and aego or maybe just mspec or aromantic #maybe im all of them #maybe im genderfluid or bigender or demigendered or nonbinary or maybe im just trans. in some weird incomprehensible way #i like that one more often i think. just being that #maybe its more boy or maybe im okay being girl or a creature or nothing or maybe im just dapper yk #and you know what. honestly #maybe im just a fag!!!! and its okay!!!!!!! i can just say that because thats me #and i really like that #idk. feeling kinda teary #i just. idk i feel more secure in this than i have abt anything ever #im just this hodgepodge of everything that maybe can just be that. and if i want to name it sometimes i can name it whatever i want #sorry that got really personal i just feel. okay rn #like a good okay #personal posts and stuff idk