#i feel like I’m starting to get an idea of where it’s heading and feeling much more positive about it than before

[leilanihours]

# TO MY BED

pairing: paige bueckers x wnba rook!reader (but it's only mentioned like twice)

word count: 2055

warnings: smut aka fingering and p eating and almost not rlly public sex (they're on live idk if that counts) lol!

summary: you can't help yourself when paige is sitting on your couch look sexy as ever.

from lani: nearly collapsed when i saw the pics from tds live so heres this short smut bc @bueckersstrap gave me the idea 🤭 also chose this song bc it was on paiges freaky playlist so i just had to.

“PAIGE, I’M HOME!” you announced as you dropped your keys onto the kitchen counter of your new york city apartment. you had just got back from practice with your new team, the new york liberty, and you were desperate for some quality time with your girlfriend.

“hey, y/n, i’m on live!” you hear from the living room. as you turn the corner you see paige sitting on the couch with her phone tilted against the glass vase on your coffee table.

normally she would’ve greeted you with kisses and eager hands but with thousands of people watching her every move, she had to control herself.

it was also an unspoken rule that if either of you were on live you would announce it when someone walks in the room so they would watch themselves. it’s safe to say that there have been many…incidents…on live that may or may not have almost exposed your relationship.

nodding to her, you go into your shared bedroom to change out of your practice clothes and into some house clothes. you were fairly warm from the workout, so you decided to put on a simple shirt and shorts before making your back out to where paige was seated.

“yo, you said y/n is there? lemme say hi!” you hear kk, your former teammate, say from paige’s phone speakers.

“kk wants to talk to you,” she says, handing you the phone once you sat down on the armchair across from the couch.

“hey kk! how you been girly pop?” you smile with a wave.

“i been doin’ real good, how ‘bout you? i know you been living it up there in new york with your new team,” she jokes with the last comment, playfully side-eyeing you through the screen.

“you can just say you’re jealous, it’s okay,” you add.

“and what if i am? you look better in blue and white anyway, not no seafoam green and black likeee.”

“man shut up, kk,” you laugh, giving the phone back to paige who has been quietly giggling at the interaction.

“you being a menace again, kk? this is what happens when y/n leaves, huh, you start actin’ up?” paige teases.

“who you callin’ a menace? you can’t talk with the way you jumpscared the entire internet with those cruise braids,” kk snickers.

“bro it wasn’t even my fault!” she defends. she begins to talk about how a lady offered to do her hair and ended up doing her dirty.

for the first time since you got home, you are able to fully take in her appearance. she no longer has the full braids from the cruise, but rather a couple side braids on either side of her head, the rest of her hair in a simple ponytail.

she was wearing a white nike sports bra paired with white and black basketball shorts. there was a fluffy blanket draped over her shoulders - one that she had bought for the both of you when you first bought the apartment.

you subconsciously bite your lip as you continue to scan her body. the wide spread of her legs as she gets comfortable, the flex of her arms and abs whenever she adjusts the blanket, the way her tongue occasionally darts out between her lips as she talks. god, she looked sexy.

this girl could literally be doing the most normal, domestic thing but you would still feel the urge to rip her clothes off, similarly to how you feel right now. you clench your thighs together at the thought, wanting nothing more than to take her right there on the couch.

meanwhile, while you were completely zoned out, paige ended her story and looked up at you. with her own lip between her teeth, her eyes darken slightly when she notices you checking her out. she clears her throat to get your attention, making your eyes shoot to hers.

with a slight movement of her head, she wordlessly motions you to come sit next to her. you oblige, of course, the desire to be close to her too strong to resist. the sun has started to set outside your apartment windows, creating a warm, influential atmosphere in the room.

“you okay?” she whispers seductively as kk and kayla argue about something on her phone.

“mhm,” you nod, eyes trained on her pink lips. she smirks at your quiet state and decides to tease you even more.

she goes back to talking with the two girls on live, but sheds the blanket covering her to fully lean back against the couch cushions. her entire body is now on display. shit.

her muscles are defined as she crosses her arms and the smooth skin of her thighs is exposed as her shorts ride up from her adjustments. she knows exactly what she’s doing.

your lips part at the sight. you were currently out of the frame, but if you weren’t, thousands of people would see how down bad you are for her (as if they’ve never seen it before).

you get up from your seat next to paige to grab a drink from the kitchen in an attempt to compose yourself. as you take a deep breath and sip your sparkling water,

you look up to see paige’s hungry eyes on yours, a teasing smirk on her face. she returned to a sat-up position, blanket draped over her legs. you shake your head in pretend annoyance, not wanting to give into her just yet.

with a plan set in your head, you make your way back to the couch and set your drink on the table. however, when you retract your arm and “accidentally” knock the camera over, you set it back up so that only the top half of paige was visible, not her bottom half. 

“sorry, y’all,” paige says, “my blanket accidentally hit the phone,” she lies as she eyes you suspiciously, your actions not going unnoticed.

you simply smirk at her and kneel to the floor in front of her. quietly, you remove the blanket from her lap and begin to rub her things with your hands. her skin was cold to the touch but beneath that, she was burning up from the tension. slightly panicked, she widens her eyes for a split second before raising an eyebrow at you.

you look up at her as you start placing delicate kisses on her skin, making your way closer to her heat. your fingers find their way up to the waistband of her shorts and tug, silently asking for approval. she nods while one of her hands sneakily drifts to move some of your hair out of your face.

slowly, you pull her shorts down along with her boxers revealing her wet cunt. the sight of her already aroused by your touch turns you on even more.

you revert your attention back to the paige’s face. she is nodding absentmindedly along to what kk and kayla are talking about, her expression straight yet flushed from your actions.

finally, you slide two fingers into her with ease from her slick. she bites down on her lip harder to prevent herself from making any noise as you pump your fingers in and out of her at a relentless pace. you lick your own lips as you continue to observe her vulnerability because fuck she looks hot.

you continue to pound her pussy, occasionally curling your fingers in a “come here” type of motion. once you notice that she is getting more squirmish and shifting her hips to buck up against your fingers, you lower your head to lick at her clit. she puts her fist up to her mouth at this, eyebrows slightly furrowed. you can tell she’s trying so hard to have some decorum, but you were not making it easy.

as your tongue laps at her clit and your fingers ram her entrance, paige can feel herself nearing her release. her stomach is tense as her abs flex. the bright pink tint on her cheeks reflects how the rest of her body feels. she’s still covering her mouth when kayla decides to ask her if she’s okay, noticing her sudden silence.

“what?” she says, snapping out of her daze, “no, yeah, i’m good over here. just really focused on y’all’s conversation. what were you saying about that game from last year?”

you laugh into her cunt at her shaky cover up. the vibrations force a hushed “fuck” out of her, eyes widening at her slip.

“what was that, paige?” kk asks suspiciously.

“oh, nothin’ i just…stubbed my toe on the..table leg,” she sounds out of breath as she continues to lie, and she’s thankful for the overall poor quality of the livestream because everyone would be able to see small beads of sweat form on her forehead and her chest start to heave otherwise.

your fingers push against the special spot in paige’s pussy, making one of her hands fly down to your head, encouraging you to continue. you oblige and abuse that same spot, hitting it over and over in attempt to get her over the edge.

you raise your lips from her cunt so you can get a good look at her face when she comes. she senses the knot in her stomach tighten, and with a few more pumps of your long fingers, it snaps.

she lets out a long, shaky breath as she releases all over your fingers and the couch. even after this, you slowly keep pushing your fingers in and out of her as she comes down from the high.

when you remove your fingers and place a delicate kiss on her thigh, the tensity she didn’t even know she had in her shoulders is gone as she tries to catch her breath as discreetly as possible.

kayla is still caught up in sharing one of her stories from one of her classes, but kk has paid close attention to paige’s behavior and noticed the abnormality of it.

there is a confused look on her face until she realizes that you were still in the room with paige, and awfully quiet might she add, when you were typically very chatty and bubbly. her jaw drops as she quickly sits up and begins to laugh.

“okay so boom i think we gotta end the live now y’all!” she says hurriedly, still laughing.

“wait what?” kayla questions.

“i think paige has to meet up with someone in a bit, right paige?”

now paige’s face is scrunched up in confusion. it’s not until kk raises her eyebrows knowingly that she understands what she means.

“ohhh, yeah you know what i totally forgot i had somethin' tonight,” she plays along, “but i’ll text you guys soon?”

“nah it’s all good,” kk continues tease, “ion expect to hear from you for a while…or y/n.”

“i’m so confused. what is happening?” kayla sighs.

“paige is just a real busy girl, i guess,” you hear kk say.

you laugh at kayla’s confusion and kk’s antics. kk’s ears practically perk up at the sound.

“alright bye y/n, bye paige, bye kayla, hope y’all have fun doing…whatever…” she smirks through the phone.

“bye y’all,” paige responds.

“okay…bye…i guess?”

and with that, the live has ended and you are suddenly thrown against the couch cushions. paige is now on top of you, trapping your body from moving.

you can tell from the way she pins you down that she couldn't wait to take you to your bed, the need for you too strong at the moment.

“you must think you’re so funny, huh?” her voice is low and enticing as she begins to rip your clothes off of you, lips attacking your skin, “almost got us caught. again.”

“couldn’t help myself,” you whisper, “looked so sexy just sitting there.”

“yeah? well since you wanna act like a slut in front of our friends then i’ll treat you like one. is that what you wanted?”

“maybe.”

“fuck, y/n, you’re gonna make me lose my mind one day,” she basically moans into your neck as she grinds her hips down onto yours.

you’re both oblivious to the text message that dings on paige’s phone, both too caught up in each other’s embrace to put your attention on anything else.

kamorea pop: y’all are so damn nasty.

#leilanihours #paige bueckers #paige bueckers smut #paige bueckers fluff #paige bueckers x reader #paige buckets #uconn #wcbb #wbb #wnba #new york liberty #x reader #smut #oneshot #to my bed #chris brown #Spotify

[slutteok]

Highs and Lows (Jeong Yunho)

◇─◇──◇─────◇──◇─◇

pairing ✭ dom!yunho x afab!reader

summary ✭ you and yunho always joked about getting a dog bed.

content ✭ smut 18+ MDNI

word count ✭ 2.8k

warnings ✭ smut, unprotected sex, restraints used, slight degradation

tags ✭ praise kink, degradation kink, rough oral sex, slight disinterested kink (if u squint), yunho has a big dick, size kink, gamer! yunho, pet play in the form of nick names.

notes ✭ please enjoy :3

◇─◇──◇─────◇──◇─◇

You two always toyed around with the idea of getting you a dog bed, and always had joked about you giving him head while he was in the middle of a game. You never suspected it to become a reality until the day you came home and there was a dog bed under his desk, big enough that you could lay on it.

Yunho hadn't even noticed you came home, and was busy playing valorant with his friends. You knew exactly who he was playing with too, but you didn’t mind at all. You take a few steps over to him, gently patting his shoulder. He pulls one of his headphones out, and looks over his shoulder at you with a smile.

“Hi, welcome home.” he says, excitedly. You glance at his second monitor and see that he isn’t muted yet, so you reach down to the cable of his headset, and quickly mute him.

“Whats this?” you ask, leaning over him a bit and gesturing to the dog bed that sat under his feet. Honestly, it did look really comfortable. Yunho’s eyes dart down to it, then back up to you and he gets a nervous look on his face.

“You don’t want to..?” he trails off, but you shake your head, before you can even think. He perks up, and the smile returns to his face. He scoots his chair back just a bit, and gestures for you to move under his desk. Your eyes widen, and your lips part slightly, feeling the all familiar heat in your belly start to pool.

“N- not right now. Can I get cleaned up before?” you ask, sheepishly. Yunho chuckles, and shakes his head, almost in disbelief.

“Clean up? What for? I’m just going to make a mess of your pretty little mouth anyways.” A gasp rockets out of your mouth, and you can feel your knees give out just a little- you’re sure there’s a moan trapped and ready to escape instantly.

“You're in a call though… Yeosang and Wooyoung will hear, surely.” you try to find any excuse to not do it right now, but it seems like Yunho is set on his decision, entirely. He wouldn’t give you any leniency now, he had enjoyed this thought since it first came out of your mouth.

“I’ll be quiet, don’t worry.” Yunho smirks, gesturing to the dog bed again. You want to do as he says, but your feet are glued where you are stood. Yunho’s gaze flickers to his screen before groaning. He grabs your wrist and tugs you over to him, you grunt from the force but allow him to pull you. He plants you in front of him, before looking up at you from his seat. “Be a good puppy, and get on your knees.” he says through gritted teeth, your eyes fly open again and your stomach feels like it just exploded into butterflies, and you can feel your core start to ache for him.

You swallow hard but do as you're told, moving down to your knees. Yunho pulls his hands from you, and scoots his chair forward, making you have to move back down onto the dog bed. He puts a hand on your head, ensuring you don’t hit your head on his desk as you lower yourself. He looks down at you, pulling his headset back on, with a sly grin on his lips. He caresses your cheek, passing his thumb along your bottom lip before hooking it on your bottom teeth. You’re surprised by the sudden whimper that leaves your lips. He gently pulls his hand from your face before patting your cheek, forcefully which dazes you for a moment.

With one last look at you, Yunho grabs something off his desk.

“I trained you so well,” he grins, pulling away from you again, making you whine softly. He beckons you forward just a little, and you oblige, scooting forward. You notice his hands move in a rotating fashion, and it doesn't take too long for you to figure out he was holding a silk blindfold. You suddenly remember the one time you mentioned that the idea of being blindfolded and losing all sense of control was hot.

You watch as he wraps the silk in his hands, then pulls his hands apart, revealing two silk pieces. He sets one on his desk, and leans down to grab your hands. Your eyes widen and you watch as he guides both of your hands behind your back, and leans over you, to tie your hands behind your back. He pulls away, and looks at his monitor again, before scooting his chair forward, back into you. You stumble back a bit, but catch yourself and move back under the desk, seating yourself between his legs.

“Sorry my love, the round started.” he mumbles, reaching down and unmuting himself. You can see the silk blindfold dangling off his desk, as if it were mocking you. You huff and try to pull your hands out of their restraint but apparently Yunho was really, really good at tying things because although it was loose, you could not figure out how to free yourself.

“How am i supposed to suck your dick if i can’t use my hands to pull your pants down?” You grumble, and Yunho uses his knee to nudge you, to be quiet. You whine softly, and roll your eyes before scooting forward. You can see just by the bulge in his pants just how hard he was, and you wondered how long he had been waiting for you to come home and deal with this.

Yunho groans and slams his hands against the desk, slumping back in his chair.

“No, that Reyna is just too good. I hit her for 50, but she used her heal.” Yunho grumbles, to his teammates. He huffs, and looks down at you, his eyes follow yours. He mutes himself again, before grabbing your chin and forcing you to look up at him. A moan escapes your lips, and he twitches at the sound.

“Aren’t you a stupid little thing? Can’t figure out how to take my pants off?” He grins, cocking an eyebrow at you, before letting go of your head. “I’ll help you.” he croons, his hands falling to the button of his pants and undoing it. You watch as he slowly unzips his pants, and lifts his hips out of his chair to pull his pants down.

You hum in satisfaction, a small smile crossing your lips as his hard dick springs from his pants. The heat in your belly grows hotter and hotter just by the sight of his size- just knowing how deep it can go inside of you. You let out a little breathy moan, a little more eager for his dick in your mouth than you anticipated. Yunho lets out a light laugh, admiring how pathetic you look. He looks up at his monitor once more, and scoots his chair back in. He reaches under the desk and grabs a fist full of your hair, pulling you as close as he can get you, before stroking himself once.

“Be a good girl and let me use your pretty little mouth however I want, okay?” He whispers, his grip in your hair tightening, eliciting a small whimper out of your lips. You nod in response, but he raises an eyebrow and tilts his head at you. “Use your words, puppy.” He growls. Your legs immediately feel like jelly under you. You groan, and nod again.

“Okay.” You mumble, his lips form a straight line, dissatisfied by your response, but he knows you don’t like it when he gets super pushy, so he drops it. He lets go of you completely, letting you stumble forward into his chair, you take a second and watch his attention go back to his game- watching his slender fingers press the unmute button on the cord of his headphones, the heat in your belly just growing more.

You push yourself forward but Yunho's faster, and before you know it, the tip of his dick is pressed into your lips. Your eyes fly open, and look up at him, but he’s not even paying attention to you. You roll your eyes, before opening your mouth. He jerks his hips a little, and you look up again, seeing his face twitch for a split second.

“Two in showers, Harbor hit for 85.” Yunho mumbles a command to his friends, but doesn’t look down at you, and his hands are still on his keyboard and mouse. You close your eyes, and hollow your cheeks out, flattening your tongue against his shaft. You can hear the breath in his throat catch, and he tenses up just a bit. You start to move your head slowly, careful not to make any sounds that his mic could catch and expose the two of you to his friends.

“Fuck!” Yunho groans, thrusting his hips up, making you gag on his dick. You go to pull away but Yunho’s hands immediately come to your head, holding you down. He thrusts into your mouth, and you can feel the tip of his dick hit the back of your throat, making you gag against him again. You try to pull away, finding it hard to breathe and you’re already getting dizzy, he holds you there for a few more seconds, pushing his full length down into your throat. He lets out a little moan before letting go, and you come flying off of him, gasping for air, tears streaming down your cheeks.

“You’re so fucking pretty, puppy. God.” Yunho reaches for your face again, his thumb catching against your bottom teeth again, and pulling you back to him. His eyes never even met yours, they were glued to your lips. You blink a few times at him as you catch your breath. He moves his thumb further into your mouth, and your mouth clamps shut down around his digit, your tongue swirling around his thumb before he pulls it out with a quick ‘pop.’ “Such a pretty little thing. So pathetic.” He groans, wiping your tears away from your eyes. He chuckles at the sight, before taking another fistful of your hair and pulling you back to him.

He doesn't even give you a chance to prepare yourself for him again, before he’s filling your entire mouth again. Your nose is fully pressed against his pubic bone, and he lets out another moan. His eyes darted to his monitor, confirming he was muted. He sighs softly, and loosens his grip on your hair, just a bit. He bunches your hair up, and uses it as leverage to move your head to a pace he likes. He has absolutely no regard for how you feel right now, your only job right now is to pleasure him and that’s exactly what you’re doing.

“Fuck, your mouth feels so good.” He groans, as you hollow your cheeks once more. He looks down at you, and wipes a few more of your tears away, his hand lingering on your cheek for a second, before pushing you back down, his dick hitting the back of your throat again and making you gag again. He moans, and holds you there again, before pulling his hands from you once more.

You whine, not liking that he won’t give you his undivided attention, and you watch again as he unmutes himself again. You roll your eyes again, before moving to the head of his dick. You swirl little circles around the head of his dick, and every so often giving it a rough suck, making him jump- you watch as his muscles tense up, and relax with each movement you make.

This time he seems to have a harder time keeping himself collected. Every single movement you make, quick or elongated, seems to get a reaction from him, even if your movement is limited due to your hands being tied behind your back. Your eyes flicker back up to the silk blindfold on his desk, which seems to be mostly forgotten about; which you were grateful for- seeing the effect you had on him was too good to miss. His twitching muscles, the way his lips would part slightly, and the way he eyes fluttered shut whenever he had a second to relax.

“f-Fuck!” He groans again, as you lick up his shift from the base to the tip, taking the tip into your mouth and sucking on it harshly. He snaps a hand down to your hair, grabbing a fistful of your hair again. “N-no i’m fine, i’m okay.” Yunho says through gritted teeth, looking down at you with a look of pure pleasure. He huffs, shaking his head at you and looking back up to his monitor.

Once more, you watch his long fingers press the mute button, and you grin, innocently at him.

“Brat. I’m trying to play a game, you know?” Yunho growls, and you giggle softly, which only makes him look visibly annoyed with you. You try to take him into your mouth again, but he pulls you back by your hair. “Naughty puppy. This isn’t how I trained you.” he scolds, and your mouth falls open slightly, a whimper escaping your lips. “I’m gonna cum down your pretty little throat, and you’re gonna take every last drop of it.” He says, casually. You feel your muscles clench, and you whine and nod in response. He raises an eyebrow at you, and clenches his jaw.

“I won’t waste a single drop, Yun.” you mutter, and he makes a hum of satisfaction, loosening his grip on your hair. He moves back towards you, and you take his dick back into your mouth, flattening your tongue against him. He groans and thrusts up into your mouth, making you moan against him.

“Fuck, I think I like looking at you like this.” He groans, finally taking his headset off, setting it on the desk. His full attention is on you again, though you kind of liked when he wasn’t paying a lick of attention to you. You look up at him, tears forming in your eyes again as he continues to use and abuse your mouth and throat.

Your tear stained cheeks, your eyeliner mixing with your tears as they run down your cheeks, makes you look so pathetic. He loved when you looked like this. So small, so needy, so desperate all for him.

He growls, letting his head fall back, as his hands hold your head still. He fucks up into your throat at a punishing pace, and you can feel your throat beginning to feel raw and sore. He lets out a moan, his grip on your head tightening.

“Oh, fuck.” He moans your name, a sweet sound coming from him, making you moan in response. Your moan against him makes his dick twitch in your mouth, and you brace yourself, knowing he’s about to explode down your throat. He loosens his grip, letting you pull away and catch your breath before moving your head back, pressing your nose to his pelvic bone before.

He looks down at you, smiling once more at your pathetic, tear stained cheeks.

“Fuck, so fucking pathetic. You stupid dog.” He moans, his eyes closing. Your moan against him again, and the feeling makes him jolt- his dick twitching in your mouth before spilling his seed down your throat. “Oh my god, fuck.” He moans, the grip on your head so tight, you could swear he was about to pop your skull.

He pulls you off, both of you panting heavily, and covered in a slight sheen of sweat. He drops your hair back around your shoulders, and quickly runs a hand through your hair. He scoots his chair back slightly, leaning over you again to untie your restraints. You sigh in relief and watch as he grabs his water bottle, and hands it to you.

“Wha-?” you stare at him for a second, and he raises an eyebrow at you.

“What? You don’t want water? I just abused your throat.” He chuckles, and you nod, taking his water bottle from him. You didn’t realize just how badly you needed the water, as it soothed your sore throat. You sigh, and hand it back to him after a few long sips. He puts it back on his desk and holds his hand out to you. You take his hand, and he pulls you to your feet, then right into his lap.

He moves his head towards you, capturing your lips with his in a sweet, tender kiss. You can’t help but smile against his lips. He smiles back, and pulls away, looking at his monitor.

On the screen, you have to squint a bit, but you see it.

In the discord, the words ‘yunho, you forgot to mute.’ were written on his screen; leaving you both, now absolutely fucking horrified.

#ateez fanfic #ateez fic #ateez x reader #ateez smut #atz smut #atz x reader #atz imagines #jeong yunho #yunho ateez #ateez yunho #yunho x reader #yunho smut

[muffinpink02]

Lucy and Ona 🥰 the Lucy padel vid got me feeling things and the big O made me desperate for more jealous Ona

So maybe Lucy takes up padel, has a hot instructor who clearly fancies her, Ona happens to be watching her once and overt jealousy ensues. And smut obv, always smut

Feel free to not do that if it’s a terrible idea 😂 I don’t have the most creative of minds, I won’t be offended 😶‍🌫️

Many Shades Of Green

Anon request - Thank you beautiful anon! Loved this idea! I haven't really read it through so you may see changes if you ever come back for seconds. Dom Ona

Warnings - smut 18 public sex,

And @lucyandalexiafan thank you ALWAYS for reading my several pages off notes and always being there for the fics chats and the deep chats. My tumblr bestie, I appreciate you a whole lot ❤️

“You sure you don't want to try it out? It's really fun” Lucy asked her girlfriend.

“No, it's okay. I’ll be happy reading and watching.” Ona smiled playfully.

Lucy chuckled shyly as she looked at her paddle. 

The girls were waiting for Lucy’s paddle board trainer. She had been interested in the Paddle sport for some time now, but hadn't had a chance to get into the activity with her schedule being so tight. But finally with a rare day of freedom she finally got round to booking a trainer of the sport. 

“I wonder where she is? Oh that might be her.” 

Ona looked up to see a tall blonde woman approaching them at the side of the court. It was like she was walking in slow motion, the girl had legs for days. She had bright blue eyes and a Hollywood smile, she looked more like a model than a trainer. 

“Hey you must be Lucy? I’m Katie.” The blonde put her hand out for Lucy, her bright smile almost blinding.

Ona didn’t miss the way the blonde eyed up Lucy’s body. 

Lucy smiled politely and took Katie’s hand. “Hey Katie, nice to meet you. This is my partner, Ona.”

The vogue looking model then eyed up Ona, a small smirk crept on her face. 

“Gosh, you’re so little, I almost didn’t see you down there.” She laughed.

Ona had to laugh it off, it wasn’t the first time someone had mentioned her height and it wouldn’t be the last. But it still annoyed her. 

“Ha, yeah, luckily I won't be in your way. I’m just watching.” Ona rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly. 

Lucy gave Ona a small smile, the younger brunette knew Lucy loved her height, she constantly told her how cute she was, or how she fit into the crock of her neck perfectly when they cuddled. But it didn't make her any less self conscious when someone mentioned it in such a way, especially if that someone looked like a catwalk model.

Katie gave Ona a fake smile, but didn’t reply, she turned to Lucy with her bright smile back on her pretty face. 

“Anyways, shall we get started, Luce?” 

Ona raised her eyebrows at the blatant rudeness of the blonde and the new nickname for her girlfriend. 

“Ahh yeah sure.” Lucy smiled back at Ona as she walked with the blonde to the centre of the court. Ona rolled her eyes as she took a seat in the stands. She pulled out her book and began to read. 

The Spaniard was close enough to hear their conversation, so she didn’t miss the obnoxious laugh Katie gave everytime Lucy said something. Ona loved Lucy, but she wasn’t that funny. She shook her head and tried her best to get into her book, but she couldn't keep her eyes from wandering up to the pair in front.

Katie was showing Lucy how to swing her paddle, she stood next to the brunette and grabbed her arm. 

“Wow, you’ve got some power in those arms, I bet you could lift me without blinking.” Katie chuckled, her hand still on Lucy’s biceps, squeezing her muscles.

Lucy laughed politely. Ona knew Lucy wouldn't know what to do in a situation like this, she got it all the time. So much so that she didn't even notice the difference when someone was flirting or just being polite with her. 

“Let me just get behind you and show you the right form.” Katie said.

“Ahh, okay yeah.” 

Ona watched as the blonde put her hands on Lucy's waist, moving her into position, she tried to not let it get to her, it was sports after all, her trainers had done similar things and she knew there was nothing behind it. But Katie had been flirting with Lucy since her foot touched the court.

“Okay, that's great. Put your back out a bit more. Yeah,that's it, now stick out your bum. Perfect, that's nice.” 

Ona watched as Katie shamelessly checked out Lucy's arse. The Spaniard could feel her jealousy starting to creep up, but she tried her best to ignore it. 

Katie stepped a little closer, pushing herself against Lucy's arse.

That's when Ona lost all interest in her book,

“Okay now back up with me, I won't let you fall.” 

Lucy was completely oblivious to Katie's gross tactics. When it came to any kind of sport Lucy had her head game on, she had been looking forward to the training for some time, so she was locked into concentrating on her instructions, not realising what Katie was doing.

“Beautiful. Just like that.” Katie bit her lip as she felt Lucy press into her. Ona watched as she placed her hand on Lucy's back and pushed her slightly forward. “Perfect, good.”

Ona couldn't ignore the angry heat that crept up her spine, she was pissed. Ona’s teeth gritted so hard she was close to breaking a tooth. She wasn't a violent person, or even an angry person but she was close to dashing her book in Katie's pretty face. 

“Okay, good. Let me just show you how I position myself. So you can try that way.” 

“Okay.” Lucy nodded.

Katie stood in front of Lucy. “Now just watch how I bend.” 

Ona watched as the blonde bent over in front of Lucy, her mini skirt was sitting just below her arse cheeks, but she bent so far forward you could practically see the outline of her lips in her underwear. Ona couldn't believe the way this girl was throwing herself at Lucy, It was completely over the top. 

The girl was clearly into Lucy, and my god, she was trying her hardest to get some kind of attention. Ona couldn't help but laugh at how tacky she was. 

“See how my knees bend?”

Lucy was trying her best to not look at the girls in front of her. She looked over at Ona to see if she was doing okay, but that's when she saw the anger flash across Ona’s normally gentle face. Lucy looked at her, trying to mouth ‘what's wrong’ but before Ona could respond Katie was there, again.

“See what I mean, Luce?”

Lucy looked back at Katie. “Oh yeah, yeah I see.”

Katie stood up and faced the brunette again. “Great, I know not everyone can bend as much as that. You have to be flexible.” She took a step closer to Lucy and whispered “I do a downward dog every morning and every night.” She purred as she winked at the brunette.

“O-Oh yeah, good to keep the muscles going.” Lucy awkwardly rubbed her nose. 

“You would know, I bet you’re always at the gym.”

“Yeah, part of the job.” Lucy awkwardly played with her paddle. 

“Yoga is really good for the body. I do private classes, if you were ever interested. Just one on one. It really helps in the bedroom, I can be put in so many positions.” She smirked at Lucy. 

“Ah y-yeah. I’ll let you know.” Lucy stuttered, she was slowly starting to catch on to why Ona had a face of thunder.

“Great, I’ll keep you to that promise. Let's play a round, I wanna see your form.” 

The girls played 3 rounds. Katie had actually kept the flirting down a minimum, aside from taking off her t-shirt as she was ‘So hot’ and was now in a tight sports bra that held little to the imagination. But Ona was still pissed. She had heard the majority of their conversation and wanted nothing more than to drag Katie by the hair and stick her paddle where the sun didn't shine.

 As I said before, Ona wasn't an angry person, or a violent person, she was normally calm, cool and collected. But now and again Ona could maybe, sometimes be a little jealous. 

Yes, it might have bugged her when the barista girl gave Lucy doe eyes every time they got coffee. And yes of course it annoyed her when girls would throw themselves at Lucy when they were out at a bar or restaurant. But, Ona was only human, of course she would get annoyed when someone flirted with the taller brunette, Lucy was hers, for as long as Lucy wanted to be of course.

And someone as shameless as Katie always brought out the little green jealous Ona. 

Finally, the game was done.

“Okay, let's leave it there. Good job, Luce.” Katie patted the brunette on the back.

“Yeah, it was good, it's a lot of fun.” Lucy smiled.

Katies blue eyes roamed over Lucy's body. “Let me help you stretch, your thighs will be tight.”

“That's okay, I can help her with that.” Ona was suddenly standing by the fence.

Lucy and Katie both jumped at Ona’s sudden appearance. 

Katie gave Ona a particularly bitchy look, clearly annoyed to have been caught out. She gave Ona another fake smile. “I think I might know how to work her muscles a bit better than you, it's my job.”

“I think I might know a little bit, I am a professional athlete. Also I think I know Lucy's body a lot better than you.” Ona gave her own fake smile.

“Of course.” Katie snarled. She turned back to Lucy who hadn't missed the blatant passiveness going on between the girls. The blonde put her winning smile back on.

“You have my email. Let me know when you can do another session next week, and that yoga class.” Katie smirked.

“Yeah, I’ll let you know. Thanks again.” Lucy waved.

Katie watched Lucy walk away, her blue eyes locked with Ona’s brown ones. She gave the younger brunette a wicked smile and walked off the court. 

“Hey, you ready? How was your book?” Lucy asked.

Ona hadn't read one single sentence of her book, but Lucy didn't need to know that.

“Good, but I was a bit distracted.” Ona gave Lucy a tight smile. 

Lucy knew that tone, she knew that smile, she had seen it plenty of times before, it was no secret Ona was a jealous person. It was never a problem, it didn't cause Lucy any stress. It was never serious enough for her to find it uncomfortable or controlling, it was just a trait that Ona had. Lucy saw it every now and then, she couldn't help but find it cute, and even made her feel special. 

Being seen as the more dominant one in the relationship Lucy sometimes felt like she couldn't be in that position where her partner was the more jealous one but with Ona she always made her feel wanted and?

“Can we go to the showers? I wanna wash and get out of these clothes.” 

Lucy grabbed her shirt, dabbing the sweat that dripped down her face, flashing her hardened abs that flexed from her breathing. 

The Spaniard had seen Lucy’s abs more times then she’d had hot meals, but no matter how many times she had her eyes, hands, mouth or other regions of her body on those muscles, they always managed to leave her speechless.

“Y-yeah.” Ona cleared her throat. 

They headed towards the showers, Lucy spoke about their plans later but it fell on deaf ears, Ona wasnt really listening. She was thinking about all the ways she would fuck Lucy when they got home. The younger brunette couldn't stop the hot desire she had bubbling up in her stomach, her jealousy had sparked a mix between anger and pure want for her girlfriend. 

They made it to the showers. 

“I won't be long.” Lucy kissed Ona’s cheek.

“Okay. I’ll wait here.” Ona smiled as she sat round the corner.

The older brunette made her way into the shower room, she entered the cubicle and began to wash her sweaty body. Little did she know Ona was sat outside, thinking about what strap to use on the girl, but her thoughts were interrupted by that irritating laugh she heard earlier.

“Yeah, I just finished my session with her. She’s so sexy! She definitely wanted me, if it wasn't for her pixie girlfriend being there she would have definitely given her number to me.” Katie spoke obnoxiously on her phone. “Yeah, I’m going to shower now. I'll talk to you later.” 

Katie couldn't see Ona sitting behind the corner but Ona had heard enough to know exactly who she was talking about, she heard the door to the showers open as Katie walked inside.

That's when something snapped inside Ona. The calm, cool and collected side of her had all but disappeared and was replaced by a red hot anger that erupted inside of her body. She had done her best at holding it in, but Katie had pushed her a step too far, she couldn't hold it in any longer and that green little monster had finally come out to play. She gripped the arm chair as she waited a couple of seconds before following Katie.

Ona entered the hot shower room, she just caught the back of Katies head entering a cubicle. Then she noticed Lucy's unmistakable Barcelona towel, hanging over a door. 

She knocked on her girlfriend's cubicle door. “Lucy.” 

Lucy heard Ona’s voice, she unlocked the door to see if the younger brunette was okay.

“Hey, wha-” To Lucy's surprise the door was pushed open by the short Spainiard. 

Ona roamed her hungry eyes over Lucys naked wet body, she looked so fucking good. The Spaniard smirked dangerously at her girlfriend, loving the confusion on Lucy’s face. She stripped her clothes off with speed she didn't know she had. Throwing the clothing on the dry bench next to Lucy's own clothes.

The shorter girl wasted no time as she pushed Lucy's naked body hard against the cubicle. The taller brunette let out a grunt as her back hit the wall.

“Ona, whats wro-” Lucy’s words were cut off by Ona’s mouth suddenly on hers.

She didnt have time to explain to Lucy that she wanted to fuck her exactly where she stood, or that Katie had created a angry, jealous, horny side of her.

Ona’s kisses were deep and rough, Lucy easily melted into her touch. She was slightly confused about the sudden intrusion but when Ona kissed her like this she didn't really see a need to stop and ask questions. 

Ona forcefully pushed her tongue into Lucy's mouth, causing the taller girl to let out a surprised squeak as Ona sucked hard on her tongue. The Spaniard's hands glided up the girl's neck, allowing her short nails to scratch her skin, Lucy hissed at the slight pain but it was silenced with Ona’s hungry lips, Lucy couldn't ignore the arousal that came with the sting on her skin.

Her fingers entangled in the older brunette's wet hair, just before she gripped onto the back of Lucy's neck, pulling her closer to her face, making the taller girl bend. She was controlling every move of their kiss, every break for air, every angle was controlled by Ona.

She moved her hot mouth along Lucy's jaw, taking small bites after each kiss. Lucy's hands gripped Ona’s hips as she brought her closer to her wet body, she could already feel her core wanting to be touched.  

Ona lips reached Lucy's neck, she could taste the salty sweat that Lucy hadn’t washed yet. She couldn't get enough of the flavour, she wanted more. She greedily traced the whole length of her tongue over her wet salty skin, wanting to taste every part of her. She felt an almost animistic side of her kick in, she wanted to make sure everyone knew Lucy was hers, especially Katie. 

Ona moved her thigh in between Lucy's legs, she pushed herself hard against the taller girl's body, pinning her to do the wall. She was never normally so rough, she could be dominant now and again but that jealous flame in her only grew the more she heard Lucy’s sweet moans. 

Lucy's hips moved desperately along Ona’s thigh, but the shorter girl didn't allow her the friction she needed, she moved her leg ever so slightly away, not giving Lucy and her throbbing clit what she wanted. 

Ona couldn't stop herself as she sunk her teeth into Lucys wet skin. Lucy winced as she let out a shaky breath from the sharp pain. Ona wanted to mark her girlfriend’s body, she wanted to make Lucy and anyone who was in touching distance know she was hers. 

The shorter girl hungrily moved her mouth down to Lucy's chest, kissing Lucy’s tight nipple. She gently bit at the bud, capturing it between her teeth as her tongue flicked hard against her flesh. Lucy’s hands tightneed around Ona’s hips, causing the girl's mouth to clamp down around her skin. She couldn't help the smile when she heard Lucy whimper above her, she could tell she was trying to be quiet, but that wasn't part of her plan.

“Onaaa.” She husked.

Ona gave a particularly hard suck before she moved her mouth away. She began to kiss down Lucy's abdomen, biting and sucking at the beautiful abs. She lowered herself to her knees in front of Lucy. 

Lucy couldn't hold the groan in when Ona kneeled in front of her. Her beautiful girlfriend looked up at the Northerner, her brown doe eyes were full of desire but also a hint of anger, that Lucy didn’t miss. Ona kissed Lucy's stomach with a hunger that made Lucy's knees weak, she could feel her clit throbbing as she watched Ona move lower to her already wet cunt.

She laced her fingers in Ona’s hair, urging her to move to the spot she needed her most, but Ona grabbed her hands and pinned them to the wall. 

“No touching.”

“Ona, baby please.”

Ona loved feeling Lucy’s hands in her hair in any state, but right now she wanted to be the one in charge, she wanted to have full control of this situation, even if Lucy's begging made her want to give her everything she wanted.

“Are you desperate Luce?” 

Lucy looked down at the girl on her knees, she could feel Ona’s breath on her, her insides melted at the site. Ona’s hooded eyes were looking at her with so much lust, it made her throat dry.

She nodded. “Yeah.” She whispered.

“Louder, I can't hear you.” Ona gently bit Lucy's thigh.

The older brunette bit her lip, she wanted to scream.

“I’m desperate Ona, please.” She picked her voice up a little but not enough.

“More.” Ona giggled, she knew Lucy was holding back, it made sense, they were in a public space but she didn't care, she wanted someone in particular to hear exactly what she was about to do to her girlfriend.

She clearly needed a little push, Ona dragged her tongue along Lucy's thigh, stopping at the crease, between her thigh and lips, kissing her lightly. Lucy squeezed her eyes shut, as she felt Ona tease her. 

“Ona. Please.” 

“You’re mine aren't you Lucy? Hmm?”

“Yes. All you-, aah fuck!”

Ona swiped her tongue through Lucy's throbbing folds.

“Say it again. Louder.” She kissed Lucy's wet lips, tasting her girlfriend's familiar taste.

“I’m all yours On-aaa! Yes, please don't stop.” Lucy half shouted. 

Lucy’s head hit the cubicle wall as the girl on her knees began to eat her out. She knew Ona was pissed off with Katies constant flirting, but she didn't realise just how pissed she was. Ona wasn't slow, she wanted to make Lucy scream. She picked up her tongue with a fast pace, hitting Lucy's swollen clit. She hadn't seen this kind of side to her before, this possessive side, but fuck, she couldn't get enough of it. 

“Fuck, Ona.” Lucy whispered. 

Ona wasn't having that.

The Spaniard moved her mouth from Lucy's core. “Sorry, I didn't hear you?” She looked up, her lips already wet with Lucy.

“I….fuck, Ona please, please. I need your mouth. Please!” The girl moaned, loudly.

Bingo. 

That's exactly what Ona wanted to hear. She couldn't stop the devilish smirk that pulled at her lips, she knew Katie would have heard Lucy, and whoever else was in the room.

“You need my mouth?” She kissed her sensitive lips. “Why Lucy?”

Lucy's hands flexed under Ona own, still pinned to the wall. Her head was dizzy. 

“Becu- ahh. Because you make me feel good” Lucy pleaded.

“How good?”

“So fucking good. Your mouth was made for me, Ona.” Lucy's hips rolled, trying to get across how much she wanted her. “I love you, and your perfect mouth.” Her words were softer this time.

“I love you too.” Ona husked.

The younger girl ducked her head back between Lucy's legs picking her pace back up, tracing her talented tongue all over Lucy's sensitive flesh. Lucy let out a loud groan, finally feeling Ona’s mouth work on her properly. She wanted so badly to entangle her fingers into Ona’s hair, so scared that she would move away again.

Lucy’s not so soft whimpers were loud enough to hear two doors down, Katie could hear every moan, groan, whimper and even the wet sucking from Ona’s wet lips. She huffed as she washed her desperate sweat away.

The younger girl worked her mouth on her girlfriend, her own cunt throbbing at the noises Lucy was making. The older brunette had clearly forgotten her worries of being loud, she was completely lost in the feeling of Ona, pleasuring her with so much desire.

She began to move her hips, gently into Onas face, her clit felt so good finally being sucked the way she loved, between Ona’s perfect lips. 

“Please Ona, I want to touch you.”

Ona pulled back, licking her lips as she eyed up Lucy, almost annoyed that she had been interrupted. “No.” 

She moved back gripping Lucy's wrist tighter, making a point that she wasn't allowed to touch. 

The older brunette looked down at Ona as she gently rolled her hips into her girlfriend's mouth, her warm brown eyes burning into her own. She loved looking at Ona while the girl ate her out, she always looked amazing as her head bobbed between her legs, especially when she watched Lucy. 

Lucy gapped as her head rolled back, her body melting as the Spaniard's tongue danced on her clit. The younger brunette could see and hear Lucy getting close, her breathing picked up, her groaning became louder, bouncing off the tiles in the room. 

“Ona,” Lucy gasped.

This was another thing Ona loved. Lucy could speak multiple languages, she could give a speech to thousands and not stutter, her brain was full to the brim with facts and information. But when Ona was between her legs, the only words that fell from her lips was her girlfriend's name.

Her strong thighs began to shake, Ona moved her hand up Lucy's thigh, teasing her entrance with her finger. Lucy panted as she automatically opened her legs for Ona. The younger girl couldn't stop the groan as she dipped a single finger easily inside her girlfriend's wet cunt.

“Fuckkk. Yes, Ona… fuck.” Lucy gasped. 

Ona began to fuck Lucy with a rough steady pace, she easily slipped in her second digit. Her own eyes closed in pleasure hearing the way Lucy took her fingers. She couldn’t take her eyes off Lucy, her face was pure bliss. Ona loved having Lucy like this, at her complete mercy.

“You’re mine aren't you Lucy?” 

“Yes, yours. I’ll always be yours.” 

“Always?”

“Always.”

“Good.” 

Her cunt started to tighten around Ona’s fingers, Ona could feel she was about to come. Lucy couldn't hold in the loud gasps that fell from her mouth. Ona fucked and sucked her girlfriend as Lucys hips rolled with more purpose. That’s when her orgasm began to bolt through her body with a few more thrusts and the steady movements of Ona’s tongue Lucy was sent flying with Ona’s name bouncing off the walls in the room.

Her groan was loud, she shook against the thin walls making it rattle. Even Ona was shocked at how loud she was, but hearing her name fall from her girlfriend's lips was always a turn on, with or without trying to prove a point to Katie.

Lucy panted hard, her eyes were closed as her body tried to keep up with the pressure of her release. Ona licked the taller brunette gently, allowing her to feel her soft tongue as much as she needed to. Lucy's hips finally came to a slow stop, her eyes looked completely hazed as she smiled down at Ona. She finally released Lucy's wrist, she would have definitely left nail indents in her skin. 

“You okay?” Ona whispered as she stood up.

“Are you really asking that?” Lucy chuckled breathlessly.

The Spaniard smiled as she eyed up the dark marks that littered Lucy's neck and chest.

“Just checking.” 

Lucy brought her mouth to Ona’s, she groaned as she tasted herself on the shorter brunettes tongue. The kiss had started out slow but quickly turned heated and messy again, and Ona still held all the control. 

The Spaniard was still feeling that hot green jealousy sitting in her stomach, and Lucy could feel it, she wanted Ona to know that she was the only girl she wanted, she wanted her to feel as wanted as she made her.

“Show me how much you want me.” Ona whispered against Lucy's lips.

Lucy felt her head flood with arousal, she wasn't sure if it was her the mind blowing orgasm or Ona’s words that made her legs feel like jelly 

The taller girl got to her knees, and in between Ona’s legs, never once taking her eyes off of the younger brunnete. Lucy wouldn't admit this to many people, but she loved being dominated by the shorter brunette. There was something about Ona being in complete control that made Lucy completely lose herself to the younger girl. 

The warm shower water ran down her face, as she felt Ona’s fingers lace through her dark hair.

“Show me, Luce.” 

Lucy barely heard the words, but just by Ona’s desperate eyes she knew what she wanted. 

She allowed Ona to guide her head to her dripping sex. She slipped her tongue into Ona’s wet folds, a deep groan rumbled in the back of Lucy's throat as she gathered the taste of her girlfriend's essence on her tongue.

Ona let out a sharp hiss, as Lucy's strong tongue glided across her bundle of nerves. She had felt her clit throbbing since watching Lucy play, she could feel the pent up frustration and anger run through her veins, thinking about Lucy being with someone else. She knew Lucy didn’t want Katie or cared for her antics, but it didn’t mean she didn’t get a little hurt and self conscious. 

Lucy craned her neck, lapping her tongue through her lover's lips. She closed her eyes as Ona’s nails gently scratched through her scalp. She flicked her tongue over the peaking clit, then softly wrapped her lips around the sensitive flesh, earning her a delicious moan from above. She looked up at the younger brunette, her abs flexed as her body reacted to the sensation between her legs. Ona was already starting to pant above her. 

Ona was already losing her nerve, she dipped one hand into Lucy's hair, placing the other against the wall above her leaning herself forward, pining Lucy’s head against the cubicle wall.

Ona felt Lucy groan at the movement, she was in Ona’s complete control, she just had to kneel and watch as Ona used her mouth. 

“I love it when you do that with your tongue.” Ona gasped. 

Lucy had moved her tongue as deep as she could into Ona’s cunt, pushing at her sensitive muscles, then slowly stroking it back up to her awaiting clit. It was a move that always had Ona drenching her mouth, and today was no different. Lucy swallowed Ona’s juices as they dripped onto her tongue, drowning her taste buds.

“Lucyyy.”

Ona’s hips began to pick up pace, Lucy’s tongue was already nearing her to her peak. Ona gritted her teeth as she felt her climax rise, her hand in Lucy’s hair got tighter as she began to feel her orgasm.

Lucy groaned as Ona pulled her hair, fucking her face, the hot shower ran over their bodies but the cold chill that ran over Ona’s skin gave her goosebumps all over her body. Ona held Lucy's head, snaking her hips into her face, gently fucking her head against the cubicle wall. They were definitely making a lot of noise, they sounded like a porn set, there was no way they were going to be able to show their faces at this gym again.

“Lu…Lucy, keep sucking. Please.” Ona begged.

But a loud banging on their door interrupted them.

“This is a public space. It's really gross what you’re doing.” It was Katie's annoying voice.

Lucy’s eyes widened in panic, her hands gripped the younger brunette's thighs. But Ona didn't care, smiled dangerously down at Lucy, she didn't even stop her movements in Lucy's mouth, even if they were being called out for the public indecency. 

“Sorry, Lucy can’t answer you right now, her mouth's a little busy.” Ona groaned.

Lucy felt a rush of excitement crash through her body, she finaly put two and two together, her jealous girlfriend had done this on purpose, she wasn't even mad, she would have probably done the same thing. She winked up at Ona, knowing it would only push the girl further.

“That's it, keep going baby.” Ona smiled wickedly down at Lucy.

Lucy did exactly what her petite lover asked, she sucked on her throbbing clit just the way she liked. They stayed like this for a couple more minutes, Ona’s movements rocked gently against her mouth, until she started to feel Ona’s body shake against her face, she could tell she was close.

“Lucyyyy!” 

Lucy’s head was forced against the wall as the Spaniard’s orgasm took over her body. Ona’s hips fucked her mouth, causing a pornagraphic thudding noise with the back of Lucy's head. Lucy couldn't stop the groan as she felt Ona’s clit pulsate in her mouth. She stayed on Ona’s clit, gently sucking as her abs rolled above her. 

“Oh Déu meu.” Ona groaned. 

She stroked Lucy's hair as she slowly backed away, a dopey smile plastered her face as she looked down at the brunette.

“Fuck.” Lucy chuckled.

“Lu-,” 

“Excuse me, can you please gather your belongings and leave the premises, before we call the police.” The security guard shouted.

Both girls' eyes widened this time.

“Y-yeah, leaving now.”

The girls had never put clothes on quicker in their life. They grabbed their bags and walked out the shower room. They were greeted by a pissed off looking security guard and Katie, who looked even more pissed off.

“I’m sure you’re aware you're banned from here.” He grunted. 

“Yeah.” The girls said in unison. 

“Okay, please leave the premises.” 

The girls nodded, and began to walk away.

“What? That's it?” Katie gasped.

The security guard nodded, already bored of the situation. Ona looked back at Katie, she looked like a toddler that was about to have a breakdown, she stomped her foot and pouted.

“Bye, Katie. Try not to think of me fucking my girlfriend when you’re next in the showers.” Ona blew the blonde a kiss as she grabbed Lucy's hand.

Maybe Lucy could pick up a new sport.

#woso soccer #women’s football #woso community #woso #lucy bronze #woso fanfics #woso smut #ona batlle #lucy bronze smut #ona batlle smut #barca femeni

[formyparasocialrelationships]

Sweaty Tattoos

A/N: Not me being mildly annoyed that there isn't more stuff about this goof. Inspired by the current Danish weather, and my current tattoo itch. I should just start tattooing myself, really.

………………

“You laying good there?”, Joost asked in a chuckle, watching as you laid still on the leather covered bench, waiting for the tattoo artist that was sitting by your ankle to get ready, smearing the cream onto the purple stencil on your leg, in order to keep your skin hydrated.

You tugged the oversized closely around you, looking up at the blond dutch, still smiling down at you, finding your strained angel every amusing to look at. His arms crossed for comfort, his sunglasses pushed up to top of his head, with a few hairs of his bangs stickuíng to his forehead in the heat. Not even Joost was immune to the building heat in Europe.

“Never been better”, you sighed, trying you best not to sound uncomfortable. There was always that little growing nervousness before getting a tattoo, as you anticipated the impact of the needle. No matter how often you decided to subject your skin to this, your brain would always rail you up, thinking that it was going to be worse than it actually would. That coupled with the rising summer heat had you covered in small droplets of sweat, making your skin stick to the leather underneath you, making you even more uncomfortable. But you wanted this tattoo! A little uncomfortability would never overhaul the need for another tattoo.

“Hey”, Joost said, uncrossing his arms so that he could grab your hand with a reassuring squish. “If you need water or anything else, just tell me. I got gummies in my backpack”, he said, nodding towards his bag leaning up against the wall.

You let out a chuckle, feeling some of the weight being lifted off of you. Of course he had brought candy. Especially after your last tattoo where your blood sugar dropped.

“No stroopwafels?”, you laughed, stroking his knuckle with your thumb, letting him know you appreciated it.

“In this heat? Never!”, he exclaimed, acting offended at the thought of a half melted stroopwafel, drawing another laugh from you. However your laugh was cut short, by the sound of the tattoo artist turning on the machine, the buzzing sound echoing against the walls of the studio.

“Ready?”, the artist asked, to which you answered with a small smile and a nod, before his gloved hand stretched out the skin of your ankle, followed by the needle breaking through the surface of your skin. And with the small dull pain, all nervousness started to fade away, once again reminding you of how comforting it actually was to be tattooed. Feeling your heartbeat calm down, your grip on Joost’s hand softened a bit. Joost did not say a word, but gave you a warm smile along with another squish of your fingers. He did not need to use words in order to tell you how much he cared. It was the smiles he would give you, along with the way he held your hand, and the small acts he did for you, such as bringing you water and sweets, just to make sure you wouldn’t repeat the incident of last time.

Before long, your small ankle tattoo was finished. You sat up on the leather bench, before making your way to the mirror, taking a look at the fresh black ink on your skin.

“It looks great”, you smiled, letting the artist know that you were satisfied, before letting him wrap it up.

“My turn!”, Joost exclaimed, sounding like a happy child.

You look at him in slight confusion, one of your brows arching. “Didn’t you say that you weren’t going to get a tattoo today?”, you asked.

“I did, but now that I’m here I might as well do it”, Joost smiled mischievously, as if he was totally innocent. All you could do was roll your eyes, before letting your goofball of a boyfriend decide what tattoo he wanted. On his ribs…

“Uhm, are you sure that’s a good idea?”, you asked, your eyes scanning over the purple stencil on his ribcage. You could already imagine the pain.

“Of course it’s a good idea”, Joost said, laying on the bench with his shirt off, waiting for the tattoo artist just like you had done moments ago. “It’s going to look sick”.

“Whatever you say”, you sighed with a smile, before grabbing a hold of his hand. You knew your boyfriend way too well by now. Right now he was calm and collected, even playing with your fingers while he waited. But then the needle made contact with the skin of his ribcage, with his facial expression changing in an instant, almost fighting to keep his breath steady. The hand in yours tightened its grip, making you bite back a laugh. You knew it.

“God voor dom”, he sighed while the artist turned to dip the needle back in the ink cap, before continuing on Joost’s rib. Safe to say, you weren’t the only one that was sweating that day.

#joost klein #joost #joost x reader #joost klein x reader #if you're reading this joost #sorry not sorry #it's because he's a scorpio

[literary-motif]

Hiiiii love your work I was wondering if you could write an Isaac sicfic where pickle is under the weather it’s okay if that bit up your alley still love your work ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Take Care

Isaac Rhoades x Reader

You sneezed again, holding on to the bookcase as you nearly fell down the ladder. Isaac was not joking when he said your first week would be the hardest. There was dust everywhere, being a while since he had bothered cleaning the less eye-catching places, such as the top shelves. 

“You’re not sick already, are you?” he asked, leaning against the doorframe to watch you work. He took another sip of his coffee — his third today at least — and narrowed his eyes at you. 

“It’s the dust,” you lied. 

Truthfully, you had been fine when you woke up this morning. You shot up in bed well before sunrise, drenched in sweat from your nightmare, and decided to make the most of the extra time as you felt it impossible to fall back asleep. 

The eerie peacefulness before dawn, when you knew the world was still asleep and time seemed to tick by very slowly, immediately put you at ease, allowing you to wake up properly as you sipped on your tea with honey and tried to get rid of the itch in your throat. Thinking up a list of tasks for today, you decided that you had put off dusting long enough. 

As noon passed and the sun took its course in the sky, the tell-tale signs of a cold had hit you like a bus. It started with a headache, which was more annoying than anything else as you worked. Then, the pain in your throat had worsened, causing you to cough and disrupt the dust you were trying to wipe away. The house had grown cold, and your energy had steadily depleted until you felt utterly terrible.

Asking Isaac for a day off was out of the question. 

You had just started working for him and the embarrassment of telling him you were sick and needed time off already, when he had told you before that you should look after yourself to ensure that would not happen, was simply too much for you. 

No, you were stubborn. You would tough this out, hiding your feverish shivers and hacking coughs from him to make sure he was not disappointed already — to make sure he didn’t reevaluate the idea of taking you in and giving you the most stable life you had ever had because he saw you as an inconvenience after all. Most of all, you did not want to be a burden to him, and if working through a fever and the spinning in your head as you dusted the bookshelf was what it took, then so be it. 

“Are you sick?” Isaac asked, furrowing his eyebrows. He set his cup down on the coffee table, plucking the cloth from your hands a moment later and resting his cold hand against your forehead. You suppressed a sigh at the feeling, the coldness soothing you immediately. “You’re burning up,” he sighed. 

“I’m fine,” you said, reaching for the cloth. He held it out of reach for you. “I can work. I’m fine. This is nothing, I’ve had worse.”

He shook his head. “I don’t care. There is no reason for you to clean when you are not well. I want you to be healthy when you work for me, so go to bed and rest. The dust won’t go anywhere.”

“But—” you tried to argue, only to be cut off by a coughing fit. Your eyes watered at the dryness of your throat. You turned away from him, wiping away the tears escaping your eyes without permission.

Isaac put a hand on your arm, fighting against his instinct to draw back as he felt you tense. “Here,” he said instead, handing you a glass of water. 

You could only nod in thanks, downing it in the hopes that it would soothe the scratching feeling in your throat. “Thanks,” you croaked after the coughing had subsided, silently cursing fate for having him here to witness it. “I’m—”

“I said I don’t care,” he interrupted you, taking the glass and looking at you sternly, leaving no room for disobedience. “I don’t care if you think you’re fine. I will not have you working if you’re sick, so go to bed and rest. I don’t want to see you running around again today.”

You hung your head. “Alright,” you said defeated, reaching for the cleaning supplies only for Isaac to take hold of your wrist.

“I will take care of it,” he said, “go.”

His tone sounded so harsh and dismissive. You tried to shake the feeling of being a complete failure as you walked up the stairs, convinced that this was it and you would be fired in the morning. Why he had taken a chance on you was beyond the reasonable anyway. It must have been a lapse of judgment, and Isaac would surely realize this now. 

You got into bed, throwing on one of the comfortable sweaters he had bought you and resting against the soft pillows. Nothing distracted you from your feverish thoughts now, so you stared at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to wash over you. 

This would be the last time you got to sleep in this bed, the last time you could curl up under the comforter as you nuzzled your face into the pillows. You sighed, closing your eyes. You could pretend the silent tears running down your face were from the fever. 

“Pickle?” You sat up with a start, shaking off the hand on your shoulder immediately as you looked at the figure leaning over you with wide eyes. “Sorry,” Isaac said, raising his hands placatingly, showing you he was not a threat. “How are you feeling?”

You laid back, exhaling deeply as your heartbeat calmed. “Fine,” you said, grimacing at his disapproving look. “Better, I mean. A little better.”

“Can you sit up?” he asked, tucking an extra pillow behind your back, assuring you were comfortable as you leaned against the headboard. “Here,” he said, placing a tray on your lap, “I made you Okayu.”

Your gaze flickered between him and the rice porridge. “You didn’t have to,” you said confused, taking the cup of green tea he pressed into your hand and sipping on it as he looked at you expectantly. “Did you add ginger?”

“I did,” Isaac said, giving you a small smile as he placed his hand on your forehead to check your temperature. “She— This is what my mother used to make when I got sick.”

You handed the cup back to him, and Isaac placed it on your bedside table, waiting for you to eat. “I’m sorry,” you said, looking down at the rice, “I didn’t mean to inconvenience you.”

Isaac scoffed. “It’s not your fault you’re sick,” he said, cocking his head to the side as he sighed. “It just happens sometimes. It’s natural.”

“Yeah, still,” you said, slowly digging into the rice, “I wanted to get the broad cleaning done this week and now I can’t. I mean, I could if you’d let me. It’s just a cold, after all.”

He rolled his eyes at your insistence. “You have a fever. You’re not doing anything, “he said, narrowing his eyes at the downturn of your lips. “We’ll see how you feel tomorrow.” You hummed in agreement. “Regardless, you’ll have plenty of time to clean. There’s no need to rush. I’ll be needing you for a long while still, I suppose.”

“Promise?” you said, only half teasing as you finished your rice. You could not tell how he figured out what bothered you, but you were grateful for his perceptiveness. Perhaps it was a coincidence, but his reassurance was sweet nonetheless.

Isaac chuckled, taking away the tray and placing a wet cloth over your forehead as you lay down again. “I promise. Rest now, Pickle.”

“Pickle, huh?”

#sakuverse #zsakuva #isaac rhoades x reader #isaac rhoades

[topazy]

Tomorrow's promise

Pairing: Daryl Dixon × OC, Rick Grimes × sister OC

Warnings: Swearing, violence, blood

Chapter: 3.07

“Aunt Lily! Aunt Lily!” Carl runs towards you holding a green balloon in the shape of a dog; he shows you it proudly. “Look what my dad made me; it’s so cool.”

Smiling, you ruffle his hair. Being surrounded by screaming kids with sticky hands and zero concept of personal space was your idea of hell, but it was worth it to see Carl enjoying his sixth birthday party. His friends from school and a few from his soccer team had attended the party being held in your brother's backyard, and now that the sugar rush and excitement of new toys were catching up with your nephew, his eyes were becoming a lot heavier as his friends started to be picked up by their parents.

You smile, feeling Shane’s lips brush against the curve of your ear. “You want to bail out soon? The little man looks as if he’s about to crash soon, and Lori will rope us into cleaning up.”

“Hmm, what are you thinking?”

Chucking, he kisses the side of your head and then your cheek. “I’m thinking of taking my pretty girl out for dinner and a late-night movie.”

You motion to the cooler full of ice cubes and bottles of beer sitting on the opposite end of the wooden table you were standing beside. “Do you think we could sneak a few of those with us for the movie?”

“That would be stealing, ma’am.”

“Well, I know a few ways to keep out of trouble, deputy.”

Standing up, you smooth out your yellow sundress just as your brothers walk by with a couple of on-duty cops who had dropped by to suck up to Rick by giving Carl a gift. You smile politely at them before leaning back into Shane’s embrace and quietly asking, “You still don’t like them, huh?”

“Rivers and Young?” He finished the dregs in his cup. “The kids have a lot to learn; I wouldn’t want them answering a call for my mom or my girl.”

You knew Shane wasn’t saying this lightly; he often gave rookies the benefit of the doubt.

Groggily, you stare up at the ceiling, feeling devoid of any real emotion as you think back on old memories. Once you had fought to push to the back of your mind because you found thinking of the chain of events that came from that party so upsetting. Jace’s babbling pulls you from your trail of thought. He crawls up onto you, his saliva drooling onto your top. “Thanks, kid.”

He babbles some more, as if he were communicating in his own way.

“Yeah, yeah.” You tickle Jace’s cheek with his finger. His smile lightens your mood slightly. “You’re the best thing I’ve ever done, you know that?”

You slide your fingers over Jace’s dark hair as he leans his head on your chest. Sighing, you close your eyes again, but the peacefulness only lasts for a few moments. The second you hear the noise of crutches tapping against the prison flooring, you open your eyes and sit upright.

“Is everything okay, Hershel?”

“How’s your leg feeling today?”

When you returned to the prison, Hershel stitched up your leg to stop the bleeding, but there wasn’t anything he gave you to help ease the pain. “It feels as if it’s getting better, thanks.”

The older man leans against the cell doorway, his eyes crinkled with exhaustion. “I just thought you would want to know Glenn took Carl looking for the breach. They’ve just come back.”

—

You stormed to the other side of the cellblock, where most of your group was gathered. Beth was humming to your niece, Judith, while Glenn explained that they didn’t find the breach. Maggie looks up, surprised when she sees you looking so irritated. She forces a smile. “How’s the little stinker doing?”

“Happy to see you,” you hand her Jace before turning to glare at Glenn. “I told you not to take Carl with you.”

Glenn lets out a frustrated sigh. “Lily, we need to find this breach fast. For all we know, our home could be filled up with walkers or the governor's men at any moment.”

“Exactly, which is exactly why you shouldn’t have taken a thirteen-year-old with you. Carl’s just a kid!” You wave your arm between the two of them and say, "Look at how much blood you are covered in. How many walkers did you need to kill just to get out?”

Glenn shakes his head. Instead of bonding over the trauma you had gone through together, the experience was causing friction between you. Your friendship with Glenn meant a great deal to you, but keeping Jace, Carl, and Judith safe was the most important thing.

Hershel tries to intervene and calmly says, “I still think we should go; we still have time.“

“For the last time, we aren’t running!” Glenn snaps, frustrated.

“We should have grabbed things and left last night; this place isn’t worth dying over.” In your mind, the only reason you had to stay was waiting on Daryl coming back, but you had no idea when he would return, and by then you might have all been slaughtered like cattle by the governor. “We survived living on the road before without any transport. This time, we have multiple cars to use.”

“Last time Hershel had two legs, we didn’t have a screaming baby.”

“What are you even talking about? Jace was with us the entire time, and we survived.”

“Yeah, but we got lucky with Jace not being able to hear loud noises.”

“What did you just say?”

Glenn stares at you with his mouth agape. You glance at Carol and Maggie, who both lower their heads. You are in a constant state of denial, refusing to accept the reality of your situation. Jace’s hearing wasn’t what it should be, but hearing Glenn say it so harshly, it feels like a physical blow to the gut, as if he'd punched you.

“Lil-”

You lick at your dry lips, then turn to face Carl and say, “From now on, you only listen to me or your dad.”

Carl looks like he wants to protest, but he nods without saying anything. You take Jace from Maggie, and in a softer tone, you say, “Right, munchkin, let’s get you cleaned up.”

“Lily,” Glenn calls out, “I just meant—”

“Seriously, just leave it.”

—

Standing outside, you lean against one of the cars, watching your brother mumble to himself while wandering outside the prison gates. You had tried to get him to come back inside, but he wasn’t listening. You had left Jace inside to play with the toys Daryl had found under the watchful eyes of Beth. You were well beyond being hacked off; Rick was so damn busy chasing ghosts to even notice how much you needed him; and Daryl was gone. You knew why he was gone, but you were growing tired of feeling so alone.

Hearing voices, you look over your shoulder and see Hershel chasing after Glenn on his crutches. “You’re not going back to Woodbury, are you?”

“No. I’m just going out there.”

“I’ll go with you,” Hershel offers.

“I got it.”

“By yourself? How can you possibly think that’s a good idea?”

“I can’t just sit on my hands,” he resorts defensively. “I’ve got to do something to keep Maggie and everyone else here safe. I’ve already failed once.”

“Glenn, nobody blames you for what happened to you and Lily. There was no way you could have known what would happen; there was no way to prevent it.”

“With Daryl gone and Rick wandering crazy towns, I’m the next in charge.”

“Like hell you are,” you frown, making your presence known. “You want to keep Maggie safe, then be here to do it. I get that you’re mad and frustrated because I’m the exact same, but we can’t be making rash decisions.”

Glenn brushes by you and opens the car door without saying a word.

“We’ve already lost Shane, Lori, T-dog... I don’t want you to be the next person we lose.”

Without even glancing back at you and Hershel, he drives off.

—

You and Rick exchange a look as Hershel tries to talk some sense into him, but you knew from the look in his eyes that he was too far gone to register the advice on grief the older man was giving him. Sighing, you go to the wired-up hole in the fence and start to untie it. You’d be damned if you were leaving him as walker bait any longer; he might not have listened to you before, but now you weren’t giving him a choice.

“Lily, stay behind the fence. It’s dangerous out here.”

“No shit-”

A bullet whizzes past your ear, narrowly missing as it skims the top of your shoulder. The sound of gunfire fills the air as you frantically scan the area for the source. Adrenaline pumping, you grab hold of Hershel and pull him with you as you drop to the ground, heart racing in your chest.

Your brother's pained voice echoes loudly, “Lily!”

You feel the heat from where the bullet grazed your skin, leaving a burning sensation. Your vision blurs momentarily as you struggle to focus amidst the chaos.

“Rick, you need to get back inside the fence!”

Using the long grass of the field in the prison yard as cover, you roll onto your stomach and peak up to see the direction of the shooter and see three different men. The governor is one of them.

Son of a bitch.

Rick was pinned down, and you could hear bullets coming from the opposite side of the courtyard, which meant they had someone right outside the prison. The governor was firing bullets into the air; the way he was wasting bullets meant he had a vast supply. You watch in horror as a van crashes through the fence, and you duck down lower to avoid being seen by hun.

The stench of decay hits your nose, and at the same time, the sound of snarling hits your ears, and you realize the drivers realized walkers into the field.

“Lily, Hershel, get the hell out of there!”

Hershel fires at the undead, trying his best to keep them at bay. Knowing you don’t have many bullets left, you grip the cold, rusted pole that’s lying on the ground and use it to stab Walker in the head. With so many undead people surrounding him, the governor and his men retreat.

“Fuck, there are too many of them!”

More walkers enter the field, attracted by all the noise, their eyes filled with hunger and malice. You can see their twisted limbs and rotting skin as they approach. Another wave of dread courses through you when you hear another vehicle course through, but thankfully it was Glenn returning and not another van full of walkers.

He pulls the truck over, and Michonne, who you didn’t even realize was in the field, jumps inside, then Glenn drives it over to where you are. Hearing a cry for help, watch as Rick backs up against the fence, trying to fight off multiple walkers at once.

“No, no, no!” You try to run to him, but Glenn and Michonne drag you back and force you into the truck. “We need to go back; we can’t leave him!”

“He’s not alone!”

When the vehicle approaches the prison yard, Maggie and Carl open the gate to let the truck through. Soon as it stops, you jump and hug Carl. “Are you okay? You hurt?”

“No, but you are.”

“I’m okay, we’re okay.” You look around and notice Axel’s body laying on the ground, he had been shot in the head. “Carl, go back instead and stay with Jace and Judith, okay?”

“I’ll go with him,” Beth says, and the two of them go back inside.

You walk as close as you can to the fence without a walker being able to reach you through the holes, and you watch as Daryl and Merle fight off walkers alongside your brother.

Glenn taps your good shoulder and says, “You should get inside so Hershel can check you over.”

“I’ll wait… Thanks for saving our asses.”

“Always,” he says, giving you a knowing look. “What the hell happened?”

“Whatever this was, it’s only the beginning.”

#the walking dead #daryl dixon/oc #daryl dixon/you #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon x you #daryl dixon x original character #Daryl Dixon x female oc #daryl dixon x oc #the walking dead fanfiction #tomorrow’s promise #tomorrow’s promise 3.07 #twd fanfiction #the walking dead x oc #fear the walking dead fanfiction

[bigfatbimbo]

do you think vox has mommy or daddy issues because that’s always been a headcanon of mine and idk why but it just makes sense do you think it fuels his mommy kink too

but like.. HE JUST GIVES MOMMY/DADDY ISSUES VIBES I CANT- 😭

Vox has motherless AND fatherless energy !!!

LMFAO, this is so funny because like i’ve always just had the headcanon that Vox has a terrible relationship with his parents too… it is the vibes your right.

Like I feel like his parents weren’t like physically abusive though, more like neglectful. Like i’ve always kinda had the idea that Vox was just.. privileged from the start. Let’s be real here, white man from the fifties. But I imagine his hard-worker father barely ever being home (likely where he gets his work ethic), and when he is home it’s not like there’s any attention given to him. And maybe a mother who’s resentful towards him, maybe even cruel, because she’s stuck at home looking after this child she never even wanted… I dunno. I just get like the idea that his parents never gave him like proper love or honestly any attention at all.

I always in my head just had this like— this has to be canon. The things he gets up to like thats motherless behavior..

And it would make sense, the attention and approval he seeks from the public now, making up for the neglect he felt in his childhood. And if we want to go deeper: his unofficial god complex stemming from the need to feel important, because he so often felt like nothing around his parents.

Also i’m picturing Beatrice and Butterscotch Horsemen, if anyone here watches Bonack Horseman please get this—

Anyways, it is the vibes. Moral of the story, give your kids love or else they might turn out to be power hungry psycho dickheads who are actually just abusive manbabies. 🤗

#vox hazbin hotel #bimbo rambling #hazbin hotel vox

[ayekittyk4t]

pollinate

pairing: plug eren x afab reader

desc: you always make decision with eren that are on a whim. whether it’s him taking you to get a tattoo or him filming you, it’s never a normal routine.

content warning: established relationship, tattoos, needles, petnames ( princess, baby, etc…), a little dry humping, filming, oral sex (male receiving), hair pulling, spit, one slap on da face, lmk if i’m missing any lol

an: y’all this a lil rusty but it’s okay i guess. i had to oil up this rusty ol machine, but i hope y’all enjoy. more plug eren and reader to come. even tho this really didn’t have anything to do with him being a plug. it’s just part of the series/ collections idk. take it as you will.

sometimes, you think about some decisions you’ve made and wonder how stupid they were. you’d lay there, dealing with the consequences of your actions and repeating what may have been the alternative route. all the what if’s that would’ve been your reality. however, now that you’ve made that decision, all you could do was think about such things. and at this very moment in time, you’re laying with a very permanent decision.

eren had said you’re a baby for whining. but he had plenty of tattoos in various places, so his word didn’t matter to you. you do suppose that this was your decision after all, so you sit with the pain with your eyes screwed shut. that is what you were repeating in your head as you fought through the last few minutes of your tattoo session.

a lotus flower. eren had once said you were his lotus flower. you had no idea what if meant, but it had stuck with you. he said that you were a beautiful lotus flower on a bright green lily pad, sitting on calm water. he’d say this to you once in a while. and on whim, you decided to get it tattooed on you tonight. right on your sternum.

what a bad decision, because you were in a lot a fucking pain.

“awe, my princess is a little weak.” eren teased, petting your head to calm you down. you opened your eyes, squinting from the bright tattoo studio lights and looked at him with annoyance. from where you were laying and where he was behind you, his big smile almost looked like a frown. you know eren all too well though, he’d never frown in your pain. more so smile in a peculiar pleasure.

the constant puncturing of the small needles in your skin had been a pain. along with the buzzing of the tattoo gun. your head began to throb, so you shut your eyes. eren noticed, seeing how your jaw clenched and the way you swallowed hard. and despite finding a freakish pleasure in your pain, his heart tinged with pain of his own. with that, he moved his fingers to your temples and started messaging them. instantly, you felt calm.

“you’ll be fine, (y/n).” he says low and smoothly.

“yea, because you done.” mikasa said excitedly as she turned off the machine.

you opened your eyes to be directly looking into erens. he smiled big, his canines peeking through. his hands then fall to the side and you’re already missing his touch.

the table you’ve now laid on for god knows how long begins to fuel your discomfort. you wiggle around a bit, lifting you hips to stretch. mikasa let’s you know to stay put as she cleans you up and applies the second skin to avoid any infections.

“you’re all done.” she exclaims with a big smile as she clasps her hands together in excitement.

upon those words, you sit up, zipping your sweater up just enough to leave some room to look at the lotus in the mirror. feeling somewhat lightheaded, you stumble a bit as you hop off the table. eren grabs a hold of your arm, saving you from a fall and hold you close to him. looking up at him, you smile as he leads you to the mirror.

standing in front of the mirror, you inspect the permanent flower on your body. mikasa captured you vision well, and you were so happy about it.

“you look beautiful, baby.” eren says, standing behind you. you smile to him in approval through the reflection of the mirror.

-

the candlelight flickered, soothing your heavy eyes to shut and fall to sleep. you’re tired, using eren chest as a pillow. you listened to his heartbeat and inhaled his scent. it soothed you even more.

then you do it again, inhaling louder. your stomach caves in from how deep you took in erens scent. holding your breath for a bit, you breathe out with a low hum.

“what are you doing?” he chuckles, looking down at where your head rested.

you shoot up, lifting yourself from your comfort, “i’m addicted to the way you smell.”

“you’re fucking insane.”

rolling your eyes, you sit up. unzipping your sweater to take a look at the new ink on your skin. you couldn’t stop looking at it. admiring it. showing it off every few minutes. you felt tough. this pain was nothing, you thought. you could get a ton of tattoos now.

“will you take a picture for me?” you say suddenly, looking at him with doe like eyes. maybe part of you knew eren wouldn’t want to due to the placement of the tattoo. but you’d thought it’d be different since you’ve been dating for a while, and he always took pictures of you.

he was your personal photographer after all.

eren squints his eyes at you, his tongue poking at his cheek, “why?”

“because i want to post it.”

“for who?”

your mouth drops, and you match his judging gaze, “for all the other men who want me besides you.” the attitude is apparent in your tone as you rolled your eyes dramatically.

“watch your tone.” he’s no longer squinting his eyes, his brows are now furrowed and he spoke with a slight irritation in his voice.

“for me. who else?” you poke his forehead, and eren shoos you hand away.

you catch onto his attitude, realizing he’s not playing around anymore. it wasn’t a joke to him. he was somewhat a bit upset at you. this always happened. eren is short tempered, but you’re patient for him. all you could roll your eyes, again, and move on with your night.

“fine,” you sit up, grabbing your phone off the side table by your bed. “i’ll take if myself-”

just as you were about to get off your bed, eren wraps his arms around you and pulls you onto him.

“hey,” you scramble a bit and get up, acting as if this wasn’t a normal occurrence with eren. but it was.

“don’t worry about it, baby. i’ll take them for you.” he grabs a hold to your phone in your hand, his other hand gripping to your waist and squeezing.

you frown at him, “i’m sorry. c’mon, let me take those picture for you.” he’s sitting up, resting his back again the headboard. you squeeze your thighs around him, trying not to tip over.

“you sure?”

“yes.” he said lowly, his eyes shifting from yours to your body. your cheeks heat up once he looks at you. no matter how long you’ve been with eren, you never stop to get nervous around him.

you feel his hands inch up and down, thumbs pressing circles into your stomach. he looks back into your eyes, and you blink like the flustered girl you were. he begins to unzip your sweater, covering you just enough so your chest wasn’t showing. eren pushes the sweater a little off your shoulders and you shift you hips a bit. you feel him harden below you.

with the phone still in hand, eren unlocks your phone to take a photo.

you straighten up, arch your back and lift your hips a little. click. he take the photo. resting back down into erens lap, you whimper as his hard on makes contact with your clit. he groans quietly, lifting his hips to hit that spot again.

“no, one more picture. i want a a lot to choose from.” your placing your hands on his stomach, pushing him into the bed and leaning forward. click.

“smile.” he laughs a little, watching you blush once again and snaps more pictures.

“take nice ones, eren.”

“i am, baby.” he shifts your phone to your face and you hear your phone ding, letting you know your being recorded.

“hey!” you whine, pushing the phone, “stop playing.”

“i’m getting impatient, princess.” he groans, eyes shifting to his hard cock. “you keep teasing me.”

erens tone gets a bit whiny. though, you should be slightly annoyed, you fun pleasure in this. the way his gaze on you is now hungry, but you’re in control. and the way he groans when you rub yourself on him and he’s thrusting up for more.

you’re stomach bubbled in anticipation. you wanted to keep going for your own pleasure, but something about seeing eren whine and beg for it excited you. you felt your cunt throb. this would be new.

dropping the sweater off your shoulders, you expose your tits to him, nipples hardening from the cool breeze of the night. he reaches out to squeeze your tit, grab his hand and place it back to your hip. the phone still in his hand recording.

“c’mon, princess. let me touch you.” he whines, lips quivering.

you smile, not saying a word but instead rocking your hips against eren. dragging your clothed cunt against his cock foward feverishly, and moving back slowly. you continue this for a while, fast then slow. teasing eren and yourself. letting out soft whimpers while doing so.

then, you stop. you lift your lips away from eren and all his pleasure is gone. he thrust his hips in the air trying to find satisfaction in that. but it’s useless.

looking at eren, you see he’s holding the phone to the sealing. reaching out, you adjust it just enough so you’d be in the view. you lower yourself on the bed, hooking your dainty fingers on the waist band of his pajama pants and pulling them down. as your free his cock, he groans as it slaps against his stomach. you shove two fingers in your mouth, letting spit drip down them to moisten his length. thick and long, his tip leaking precum. you spread your spit around the tip, wrapping your hands around him and stroking. with your free hand you, play with his balls.

“fuckin-”

eren is cut off as he feels your wet tongue drag along the length of his cock. you swirl your tongue on the tip before wrapping your plump lips around it, then he feels the warmth of you mouth take the entirety of his cock. slowly, teasingly, he feels you inch down to the base. your nose shoved up against him. you look at him and hallow your cheeks.

he looks down at you, and moans lewdly. teeth grinding, sucking in deep breaths, brows furrowed and cheeks blushing. the grip on your phone he has as tight, the white of his knuckles peeped through.

he huffed and frowned. your hair was covering your perfect face. with his free hand, he moved the hair out of your face, wrapping his hands enough to tug you back a bit. you let his cock slip out of your mouth, a sting of saliva connected you to him drips down your chin.

“don’t drop the goddamn phone.” you spat out, more salivia slipping past your mouth. you lick your lips and swallow hard.

god, you’re so fuckin’ messy.

“never, baby.” he rasps, tugging on your hair once again. you moan at that. it hurt so good that you felt slick drip from your cunt.

at that, you spit again on him, taking him back in your mouth. he hits the back of your throat and it stings, but it brings you bliss. shutting your eyes, you bob your head against him, sucking hard once you get to his tip. your fast, no longer teasing him. you had a goal and that was for him to spill inside you.

your hands moved at the same speed as your mouth. filled with your spit and his own precum, the slick just added to his pleasure. eren loved your messiness when you sucked his cock.

“so fucking good, princess.” eren says through his teeth.

you look at him, his hair dishealved and almost out of its tight little bun. he’s so close. his chest is rising and falling, and his breath is shaky. you only speed up noticing this, looking him in the eyes. taking him in fast, hallowing your cheeks harder and adding more pressure on tongue as you reach his cockhead.

“ah fuck-, fuck baby.” he thrusting his hips into you mouth, his cock hitting the back of your throat. you gag, but inhale deeply through your nose and continue to reach your goal.

and in seconds a thick, warmth fills your mouth. eren groans loudly thrusting his hips so you get every last drop of his cum in your mouth. that salty, thick liquid coats your mouth. you release his cock from your mouth, pursing your lips together and swallowing hard. he’s a mess, chest rising and falling. you and him are warn down, but you take it into you hands to clean him up.

you lick your spit off the length of his cock and take his tip in your mouth on last time. you suck hard, releasing it with a pop. eren looks at you with a lust filled gaze.

“let me see.” he’s referring to his cum. he wanted you to take it all. eren releases his hand from your hair and grips onto your chin. he squeezes your cheeks and moves the phone to record the inside of your mouth. you stick your tongue out to prove you swallowed it all.

“good fuckin’ girl.” he gives you a small smack on your cheek in approval.

“now show the camera your pretty little tattoo.”

you listen quickly, sitting up above eren. the bed squeaks from your quick movements. you feel the slick between your legs drip down your thighs. eren moved the camera back onto your chest, he’s running a hand up to your chest and squeezes your tit. you didn’t care if he was touching you now. his touch ignited something in you. it always did. either way, you broke him down just a bit. at least for today.

“that’s my slutty princess.”

#attack on titan #aot #eren yeager #plug eren #eren jaeger #eren #eren aot #eren jaeger aot #tw hair pulling #tw spitting #tw oral #tw tattoos #tw filming #tw petnames #tw spit #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyojin x reader #shingeki no kyojin smut #eren yeager smut #eren yeager x reader #aot eren #eren jaeger smut #eren x reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren x you

[emilymk20]

TW: $u!c!d3 $h 4n4

…

…

…

This is my note that I’ve had written out for a while 🙃 Fair warning, it is really long. I don’t know, maybe it could help somebody, whether it helps them keep going or just helps them relate. Much love 🫶🏻🖤

This is so cliche, but I feel obligated to leave some kind of explanation. I am absolutely positive there has always been something wrong with me. Normal people don’t want to die at eleven years old. One thing I was always good at was covering it up; I almost wish my struggle was more visible, but I know that people always just want to help and truthfully help is the last thing I want. More reason why there’s probably something wrong because who thinks like that? The one thing that I am losing is empathy. It was always empathy that made me “better.” I didn’t want to make anyone waste their time worrying and I didn’t want to be seen for what I am so I started eating more, I stopped cutting myself, I didn’t take the pills, I didn’t cry, I didn’t let myself feel anything. In a way that made me hold on; the idea that I didn’t want anyone to have to find my body, I didn’t want anybody to mourn me, I didn’t want anyone to think that they could have helped me, and I definitely didn’t want anyone to think that the decision I made was their fault. I don’t expect anyone to understand it, but nothing happened to make me feel this way. Some awful things have happened in the midst of it, but there’s no root cause or trigger; I apply blame to nothing and nobody except myself and the operations of my own brain.

I’m tired. It’s so difficult to explain, but I think I’ve felt so deeply for so long, I have nothing left to feel. I feel like a shell of a person. I’ve noticed a recent trend in the past three years that I’ve never experienced before in the impulsively of my emotional rollercoaster. I’ll spend days, weeks, sometimes months feeling so proud of myself and hopeful, motivated more than ever before to better myself, happy where I am, and then in a matter of minutes it all slips away from me. I push everyone away and I can’t help but stop trying. I won’t eat or I’ll eat until I’m sick from it, I’ll cut myself because that’s the only thing that can make me feel, I won’t sleep at all or I’ll sleep all day, I won’t clean, I won’t shower, I won’t even get up to use the restroom. It’s as if I go completely brain dead, but my thoughts still won’t stop racing. Then, once I can come to terms with it all and maybe find a solution, the mania hits again and it all doesn’t matter anymore because I feel like I’m on top of the world. I don’t eat because it feels good to be hungry or I’ll eat a lot because “I deserve it,” I don’t sleep because that seems like so much valuable time going to waste, or I’ll sleep a lot because it’s a form of self care and if my body is that tired I should let it, and I’ll cut myself still because it’s empowering and I find it almost pretty. Nothing tangible ever changes, just the unbearable fluctuation of my head. Maybe that’s why it’s so easy for me to hide it, because to everyone on the outside, that is my normal.

I constantly feel like I’m watching myself glued to a tightrope. I can pull myself down to my lowest, feeling all that tension, and then suddenly skyrocket to my full potential. Well, I have to fall back down at some point, and I always do. The only thing is that I’m stuck. I’m stuck in my head in that cycle and the only way out is to fall off. Sure, there’s ways to get make it bearable, I mean there has to be some diagnosis for all this to explain it, but would I really want to spend my life maintaining symptoms? Would I really want to spend my whole life fighting? No. I don’t even want to spend the present fighting. I know from the outsider’s perspective I just seem lazy, and trust me, I feel that way too.

I can’t even begin to describe how exhausting it is. What I think about often is how humans are awake during the day, but you can always take a break when nighttime comes to sleep. I’m hyper aware of everything that takes my energy that I don’t have control over. My brain never stops thinking, my blood never stops pumping, my body never stops breathing…I know these are things that regular people don’t think about, but with every breath I take it feels like a loss. I just want nothing more than real rest and peace of mind. I don’t understand why things bother me when everyone else wouldn’t even have these thoughts pass their mind. Why am I so introspective and aware? Ignorance truly is bliss.

It seems really crazy, maybe because I am crazy, but the higher points of my life are more painful than the lows have been. There’s something so comforting about losing my drive, letting myself slow down, watching myself rot away and fall further from reality; it’s almost my ideal, but not quite. I just want true rest. I really wish I had the option to completely start over. I romanticize my childhood so much; bittersweet nostalgia is my biggest downfall. I was so clueless then; so full of joy. I wish that I could put my finger on what happened and when it all went wrong. I don’t know why I long for that life so much now; I love being independent and having the freedom to make my own decisions as an adult, but maybe it’s the immanence of responsibility always pushing me down. I miss the days before it started looming over me. I don’t feel as though I was ready to be on my own, I don’t think I ever learned how to handle that freedom because all I’ve done is abuse it. There are irreparable decisions that I’ve made for the specific purpose of digging myself deeper in a hole because I feel like that’s what I deserve. You can say that’s not true all you want, but it’s a little too late to still be invalidating my feelings so allow me.

My self hatred is so deep rooted, I can feel it in every nerve of my body. I’m embarrassed by myself. Truly, if I was somebody else, I wouldn’t even speak to me. I am undesirable in every aspect; I harbor so much jealousy, I’m a deadbeat, it’s probably been a decade since I’ve made a “good decision,” I’m annoying, I talk way too much, I have a huge ego (which is interesting because obviously I don’t like myself all that much), I have too much baggage, I’m ugly, I’m insecure, I have no room to consider anyone else in life, and I don’t care. To my core, I wish I could be anyone but me. I don’t know how to describe the gravity of me wishing I was dead. It doesn’t even seem like that big of a deal to me anymore because in all honesty I feel like I’ve been slowly slipping away anyways. Death is not a stranger to me; I feel like I’ve been hanging out on the front porch of the end for far too long, and I just can’t wait to step through that door. When I was little, it was always, “I want to die, but I guess I can wait until after _______…” There was still some hope back then. Now it seems that my hope has run out for me and I just don’t care anymore. I am sorry, but I have exhausted every option for me, and I believe that it’s time for me to regain control at least for a final moment.

#mental illness #tw sh related #made of styro #styroblr #sh cvt #s3lf harn #tw sucidal ideation #$h h4rm #$h tumblr #$h #tw 3d vent #3dtumblr #$h tw #$u!c!d3 #$elf h4rm #$hblr #$elf harm #$h vent #$h relapse #i want to cvt #cvtaddict #baby cvts

[lavenderjewels]

they’re so cute. choso and yuuji’s brotherly bond is everything to me

#how does it feel to have my top 3 fav characters shine in the past few chapters? excellent #jjk spoilers #jjk 258 #choso #itadori yuuji #their sibling relationship is so interesting and good. #idk if it’s because I’ve been too busy to really delve into the chapters the past couple months #but i actually had a blast casually reading these #i feel like I’m starting to get an idea of where it’s heading and feeling much more positive about it than before #like some of the ways we got to this point was. badly executed. not good. #but for what we have now—it’s at a great point and im excited for the next chapters #i am very biased as a maki yuuji and Choso fan though ​:) #if only kenjaku was still around I’d be even MORE excited #id in alt

[mobbothetrue]

What the hell, that’s actually a really funny line

#mobbtalks #I think the fact I’m working on the five dragons again has like. flushed my brain back to a lot of old unfinished projects #this is from a take on the adventure zone balance where Taako can see Lup’s ghost the whole time #but the have No Way to communicate so really it’s a lot of frustrated charades #I’m also being fucking. haunted. by Voltron. I am not doing it I am not writing it but there was an au idea I had years ago #that had decided to move back into my head WITHOUT permission #basically at the start of Voltron they show up on the castle or w/e and wake up allura and. other guy. right #well the idea I had was what if they don’t do that #it would have picked up multiple years later when Pidge(? I think) managed to reconnect some faulty relay and the pods come back online #I think they were like stasis/healing pods? rough getting around w/o those #and essentially it would be like. a real deep dive onto allura and other guy #if I remember right they essentially are the last survivors of their whole race. a desperate last hope #how would they feel waking up to find that a group of people have done it without them? people from a planet that doesn’t even know Voltron #it was gonna have a lot of focus on grief and the lions and change #and i refuse. not doing it. nuh uh can’t make me Get Out Of My Head #a real big focus on team as family which as far as I can recall the real Voltron never really did NOT DOING IT NO #anyway this taz fic has a lot of really good lines actually but this is my favourite

[peapod20001]

I actually do have very complex thoughts about many different things, it’s just a bit challenging to connect the inner voice to the outer voice sometimes </3

#random post #I have SO many thoughts and ideas. I love to create and I love to build on what I have and I like to connect to existing things #there is lots of oc lore in my brain! it graces my blog sometimes. not always. it’s hard to put abstract feeling and thought into words #and it’s challenging trying to find the best place to start talking about things yknow? like I as the creator of this whole unique universe #pretty much already know how things end up. how they’re going. how it started. some are easier to know than others. but that doesn’t stop me #from trying create for it. or searching for the missing piece to start the domino effect of development and fulfillment #it’s hard to see where the pieces fit sometimes. but getting a new angle or changing something about the piece can make finding where it #belongs easier. this is what I mean when I say I have very intricate and complicated thoughts. not spending too long writing my sentences or #overthinking them helps to keep things as they are in my head. since I’m not filtering them into something almost unrecognizable #writing a paper in a single sitting in a set time really helps me produce a unified and intricate product. I’ve been told I write well #which I find mildly humorous. I’ve never been a writer by choice really. I’m an artist that works with a physical visual piece rather than #letters that convey meaning. I’m more of a thinker than a writer. but in some instances they’re one in the same. I’m rambling but y’all know #that about me by now I’m sure hahagahaha. yea. my OCD makes me spend too long on words and that’s why I always talk in a short way #a more simplistic way. leaves less room for the mind to pick out flaws if everything is flawed on purpose yknow? haha yea. I like me yknow? #and other people like me too! that will never cease to surprise and amaze me haha. I’m one of those people that has an easier time with #people different from themselves. the people I’ve known and spoke to throughout my life are so very different from me. but they all feel #comfortable to share their experience with me. a lot of these people on paper would be ones I’d try to avoid I guess. differing opinions and #world views yknow? but the way I am. gives people comfort I’ve found. I’m not bragging about that it’s just interesting. it’s the same with #my whole household like we meet people that are like. idk a good descriptor but they’re very set in a specific way. and then we just?? they #like us?? idk it’s just funny to think about my dad getting along with legit crazy people or my mom being the person who’s the favorite of #the least liked / polite person in the office. or my brother and sister being very well liked in their schools but are just average students #who aren’t trying to be more than kind. or when I as myself. with the thoughts and opinions I have. am able to get along with anyone I #come across. I’m really not trying to be bright about that I’m just an. empath? I guess? I’m just very nice to people and meet them at their #level and don’t try steering the conversation to smth bad or controversial. but even then people will still talk to me and like me cus I’m #not putting them down or hating on them for how they think and feel. I listen. I can understand them. not agreeing with their views doesn’t #mean I can’t get why people think or feel how they do. I try to not be biased or entirely antagonist to things different than me #I’ve gone my whole life not understanding a lot of things. and over time I’ve learned them. I go into experiences with people like that #I may not understand yet. but I’ll learn to. that’s probably the main reason why people feel comfortable around me. that and also I have #a smile pretty much always lol. I’m small and non threatening lookin with a single dimple on the cheek and eyes so dark you could see the #faintest light reflected in them. anyways I have gone into several different directions with this and kinda lost the main point I was making

[morbid-bvnny]

#mentions of su^cide this is a vent post so maybe don’t read #I woke up at 4am from a nightmare and haven’t been able to fall back asleep due to chronic overthinking and stress #it’s always early morning or late at night that my disorder starts fucking with me most #when I have literally no one to turn to #my head is so far under water that I have no idea what to do and it’s fucking tearing me apart #I’ve been struggling financially for about about a year and a half now and it just seems to get worse #no matter what I try to do to make it better #I’ve changed jobs I’ve worked multiple jobs I’ve asked for raises I’ve tried to get as much overtime as possible #but im literally killing myself every day just to barely be scraping by and it fucking so bad #im such a fucking failure in life I can’t do a single thing right and every door I open is a dead end #im starting to think that there’s nothing for me and there’s no place that I fit in #on top of financial stress I am struggling with a chart full of mental illnesses all of which I am unmediated for #you guess it^also financial. I cannot even afford to pay for my meds and I’ve been off them for the year and a half I’ve been struggling #this whole year and a half I made friends and I’ve lost them just as quickly #I literally crave connections with people but I have no idea how to even remotely communicate that to anyone #I can’t make friends I’m as uninteresting as it gets and I’m distant and communicating is a struggle for me #I want friends but I lack the understanding of what helps friendships grow #I feel so alone on a day to day basis it’s depressing and I’m at a point where I feel like I could k^ll myself and nobody would even notice #or care for that matter #I’ve noticed the things that kept me from committing are no longer things that hold me back #rather they’ve turned into reason to go through with it instead and the only thing keeping me alive is not having the means to do it #I think the world will be exactly as it is without me and I’ve made no real difference in anyone’s life for it to even stir up emotion #the world keeps moving #people will say oh that’s so sad when they hear about it #and they will move on as if nothing happened #the burdens I’ve brought on my family will be gone and ultimately they would be much better off without me here #I guess it’s only a matter of time at this point

[thebeautifulfantastic]

.

#i usually do everything in my power to Not think like this but i have to get it out of my head #there have been so many times recently where i think about my acting and my life goals and i just. want to give it all up #i am so tired and i have these moments of incredible hopelessness #and i feel like nothing has ever worked out for me & i’ve always had terrible timing with reaching my goals… #i think about even the one big goal that i HAVE lived and achieved through hard work (last year’s internship that i’ve mentioned a couple ti #times on here) gave some incredible memories but it also wreaked havoc on my mental health and my studies #now i’m burned out a lot of the time. i have undiagnosed adhd and probably autism as well — which i would never use as an excuse for not bei #being able to do something but it is HARD because my mom won’t believe that I’m neurodivergent #and it is difficult to be productive #Also Christmastime always makes me sad so there’s that #but point is. sometimes i want to give up #and i have never been someone to quit on my dreams so i feel pretty shitty for even entertaining the idea #i know that acting and every other art form that i love is what i WANT and i can’t think of much else that would make me happy #but sometimes i am just so tired i… don’t even want to try anymore #disappointment and the fear of more disappointment just becomes too much #i just want to get away from my past and start over #belle speaks #stories of my life #adventures in showbiz

[myfirstandlast]

im scared bc now that i’m essentially getting this public school job i know my body and mind have begun to settle into its fugue state where i have no thoughts and make no progress and waste literally all the time in the world because i just can’t imagine any other options it’s how i wasted four years with my major it’s how i ended up joining gr**k life it just feels like this is it and i trap myself

#let’s say i miraculously get a car and to move out post-september getting my license #it definitely won’t be until christmas at the earliest because i have to finish out the year #but as soon as the year is over my parents are back on my head about applying for master’s programs which i still don’t want to do #i don’t have a break to be free #and i’m certainly not gonna to be inspired to find my dream artistic lesbian job in middle of nowhere GA at an elementary school of all plac #like everyone too old or too young to understand me. no real work friends no real ACTUAL friends im just going to be going to work and going #home. oh lol i started crying typing. im really over talking into the void i need someone to hear me and help me #but even if up to that point EVERYTHING somehow falls into place. now i’m entirely alone with more bills no resources no one to call and no #idea what i want in any capacity. like i feel like a caged animal i feel insane #im falling into my coma of uselessness and i already lost the entirety of my adolescent young adult years i don’t want to lose my 20s too #not to be like 30 is ancient your life is over then obv not but i don’t care about what i do in my life at 30 and beyond #i want my life to be happy NOW i WANT the best of my life to be in my 20s where i can get away with the most stupid fun because i’m just #young and gay and i still have an excuse for not knowing what my life is yet. i cant breathe not knowing what i want to do but at least its #an excuse. i feel like dying i feel like my insides are rotting to black ash we’re social creatures and im suffering #i sound so stupid. i know i really know. but the people i see living the life i want carefree making money as it comes #have parents who lovingly text them who care but stay out of the way who are supportive but aren’t up your ass and down your neck #they’re just people that would raise kind smart independent individuals and im none of the above so i don’t have a good shot as it is #but i still want to be free. i want to die but i want to be free just a little before then #i hate my life. i hate waking up in my bed every day and seeing my bedroom and being in my house. i want it to be over

[unboundbnha]

I’ve started *gags, chokes* writing….again….*spits out blood, gasps and gurgles as I fall to the ground*

#AUGUUGHDHDHDHDG HHHHGNBDHBGHB #it feels like pulling teeth ngl #I’ve had this fic idea in my head for over a year now and I only ever poked at it #never really like. got deep into it #just wrote the fun stuff #but I didn’t have a timeline or even a true PLOT it was just kind of my brainchild #so tonight I buckled down and wrote out the timeline. like 90% of it at least #I cleaned up my old document and took out the bits that didn’t work #reordered it into something resembling chronological #and YES it hurts but it also feels AMAZING #because. okay. I have a complicated relationship with writing #I used to love it. a lot. it was my favorite pastime #but then I started hating my writing voice because it was (is) *weird* #I like to write horror and I have a writing voice somewhat similar to Douglas Adams #and when I was younger I tried really hard to change my writing voice because again. I hated it. I thought it was weird and silly #and trying to write in a voice that wasn’t mine made me HATE writing #so I literally put down fic for 10yrs and didn’t write a damn word #until January of 2023 when I finally started poking away at this document #I only have 25 pages and it’s not connected or fluid and there’s some things that don’t quite make sense #but I have my timeline now! and I know where all the pieces go #I know how to get from point A to B to C #and. WHEW. it feels GREAT. #again it was like pulling teeth but also so fucking awesome #I’m nervous but excited. excited but nervous #and I hope — with enough time and polishing — I will feel confident enough to publish it :’) #Zilla’s things