MARCH.
SUMMARY: even after all that time, she still sees him in everything that she does.
PAIRING: ellie williams x gn!reader
WARNINGS: angsty :((
A/N: new lizzy mcalpine came out and this is what yall get! havent wrote angst in a minute so dont tell me if it sucks!
TRYNA FIND THE LESSON IN IT ALL, BUT I HAVEN’T LEARNED ANYTHING
it’s eerily silent as you walk in at the end of the day.
normally you both head to joels for dinner, a vinyl plays while he cooks, ellie bothering him the whole time. or tommy and joel talking about anything and everything on the couch. ellie learning a new song.
but it’s different now.
the kitchen is empty, a lone bowl on the counter near the sink. the couch ellie begged him dor is empty, but the ghost of him is in the dip on the far side, a pillow propped up neatly. ellie doesn’t say a word, doesn’t make a sound. she’s a lot quieter.
she’s in bed still, staring at the ceiling, mouthing something you can’t decipher. when you sit beside her and run a hand through her hair she tries a smile. it falls flat, not the same.
ellie finds a kind of comfort in the quiet, your fingers gently untangling the knots in her hair. she can’t stand the idea of his music without him, but a tune he hummed constantly is stuck in her head.
you whisper about your day when she asks. tell her the chores you did, about what you’ll have to eat tonight. she hums when need be, content to just listen to your voice fill the room.
ellie goes to joel’s the next day.
the new place is good, though not really new now you’ve been here so long.
ellie likes the sheep, a sweet reminder. she takes good care of them and you. she puts on a vinyl every morning while you eat breakfast. she perfects the songs joel taught her.
she tries her best to understand why, take a lesson out of it. makes the best of a bad situation. she doesn’t tell you whats in her head.
she doesn’t tell you that she sees him out the window talking to the sheep, gone with a blink. she doesn’t say that she can hear his voice mix with yours when you sing while cleaning. she doesn’t say that she feels like time has gone backwards, making her younger instead of older.
ellie watches in silence as you harmonize while doing the dishes, a small dance as you go. its dorky, her staring and you, but she loves it.
her mind is more peaceful than it used to be, he doesn’t haunt her daydreams the same way. ellie finds herself behind you, hands winding around your waist and falling flat against your stomach. she hums as she presses sweet kisses in your neck when you go quiet.
“keep singing,” she says. “i love listening.” and so you do. she grabs a tea-towel and finds her way next to you and dries the clean dishes.
she’s paused, admiring you, when his hum fills her mind. she can almost see him pouring a drink while you chat, the song just background noise.
“els,” she snaps back to reality. you question her, ask if she’s okay.
its too quiet when you wake. ellie’s usual heavy breathing not there to lull you back to sleep. ellie not there at all beside you in bed. it knocks the wind out of you as you move out of bed and down the stairs.
a bag is on the counter in front of her, packed. the jacket around her shoulders is his. the floorboards creaking stops her in her spot. hearing your shaky sigh turns her around, her face sullen and eyes tired.
your hands shake as you move to her, a watery smile and shaking hands grabbing her face. you move into her space, pulling her tightly into a hug. she’s slow to reciprocate, but her hold is tighter than yours when she does. hands rub small circles on your lower back.
she knows what you wanna ask before you do. “i need to go alone.” you’re still, breath stopping for a moment, but you nod.
you breathe her in before pulling back, your hand finds her face again. her eyes slip close as you press your lips to the corner of her mouth.
ellie can’t look back when she leaves.
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„i didnt want to, but you made it sooo easy..“
Kai Anderson - without consent.
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This is my first post on here, it‘s just a drabble that rotted in my notes for a while, just for my own imagination.. lmao
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Warning: this is a piece of FICTION with just pure non consent, if this makes you uncomfortable i advise you to scroll.
non-consent, p in v, reader is female, LOTS of dirty talk, degrading, praising, age gap (reader is 20, he‘s 30.) , reader was a virgin, choking, daddy kink if you squint, kai on adderall, deepthroating, fingering (reader receiving) , yeah if i missed something pls comment..
word count: 1,709
kai n i met in a vinyl store, he caught my eye and i went up to him, saying how him buying a vinyl is „sooo lana-del-ray“, making fun of him. he didnt mind and he even laughed along me, i asked him if the coffee he had in his hand was good and now im here, stuck in this cult, kai kissing my neck and calling me ugly names.
„i bet you get wet even thinking about me.“ he said, full of confidence, touching my needy cunt through my panties.
„tell me how much you want me to destroy your tiny cunt“ he rubbed his fingers roughly over my clothed-clit, it hurt. a lot.
„p-please.. let me go.“ i say with tears in my eyes.
„if you didnt want this your panties wouldn’t be soaked, you dumb little slut.“ he was visibly hard, touching me, raping me.
„please, kai.“ tears keep streaming down my face as he undresses my lower half.
„if you gave in, it wouldnt hurt as much.“ he kept on talking, at this point i was saying nothing.
kai slapped my face, his deep, black eyes digging through my reddened eyes.
„c-can we do this… when im ready?“ i say again, crying as i was still a virgin, a 20 year old virgin, while he was 30.
„you want me to, i know that you want it. your wetness tells me otherwise.“ he keeps rubbing his thumb over my cunt, making me gasp and whine.
„i- kai please i dont want you to take my virginity!“ i yell out into his face, his hand holding my face, his thumb stuffed deep inside my mouth, playing with my tongue now.
„virgin? you‘re a virgin? god…. i want to rip your pretty pink pussy open with my cock…“ he rambles him taking off my panties immediately now.
„please no! kai please…“ i cry now.
„you crying makes it even better, you are such a good toy.“ he spits on my face and i felt myself get wetter from his touch, just a natural response and i hated it.
„you disgust me; you are just a hole for me to fuck, do you understand?“ his hand was still stuck in my mouth, fucking his fingers into my throat as i try to pull away.
„i bet your little mouth would feel soooo good around my dick baby. if only you‘d stop crying.“ he was so mad at me, he knew i was interested in him but not into him sexually.
„if only you would give in.“ he says before he bites my own lip, i try to kick him away but it only ends with him holding my legs.
„why wont you be a good girl, hm? always have to ruin everything.“ he chokes me so hard that i cant even think straight, my legs resting on his shoulder.
i cry out again but i lose myself in his touch, i couldnt fight him so i just went limp.
„thats it, i knew you wanted this.“ his finger enter my cunt roughly, fucking his digits into my core, moaning and crying as he does what he does.
„your tight little pussy had me hooked from the start, the moment i saw you i knew how good it‘d feel.“ tears keep running down, i was trying to pretend this was a nightmare, a movie.. some kind off horrible porn thatd only weird people would watch.
„i never care about girls, i only fuck them, usually they thank me. kai you made me cum so hard, thank you daddy.“ he mimics some other girl, which probably didnt happen and he just said for his own pleasure.
„im just making sure you think of me when someone else fucks you, slut.“
„IM A VIRGIN! IM NOT A SLUT.“ i yell at him as he stuffs my wet panties in my mouth.
„SHUT UP.“ he yells even louder than me.
„be happy im prepping you.“ he said as he rammed his fingers in continuously, not even making me feel good and hitting the spot that id liked, it hurt. so much.
„does that feel good? i bet it does.“ he spoke through gritted teeth as his whole arm moved now, i shook my head violently and he took out the panties and stuffed his fingers in my mouth instead.
„tell me, is that not your cunt? does it not taste like you? hm?“ his nails dig into me, it felt close to cutting me.
„if it didnt feel good you wouldnt be this wet.“ his eyes were emotionless, he was clearly on some sort of drug, as i saw him do it.
„god babygirl, you had such whore potential, if only you didnt wanna leave.“
he said, referencing a few minutes ago, where the moment i entered his house, he started kissing me, i gave in to the kisses but said no to sex. his kisses felt good for a second, before his hand moved to my skirt and i said that i cant and had to leave.
„you have to expect that to happen, you are worth nothing. absolutely NOTHING. only just a cunt to fuck.“
he pushed me on the bed and threw my panties to the side completely, his fingers loged so deeply in my throat that i would gag.
„i want you to gag on my cock so bad, but im nice to you.“ he smiles, kissing my nose.
he turned me around and spoke „get on all fours, i dont want to see you cry anymore.“ i protest and sit up, before he pushed me down again.
„nu-uhuh.“ his tongue clicked.
„baby… come on.“ he whispered.
„p-please… be careful.“
i cry out again and again, begging for him to NOT rip me apart.
„okay, i promise.“ he spoke in a soft tone, this was oddly reassuring. even if i was raped it didnt hurt as mu-
he didnt even bother to turn me around now, and aligned himself with my entrance. before saying anything his cock slammed so deep and hard into me that i only could scream, him quickly shutting me up with a blanket in my mouth which he held there.
„fuck baby, you‘re so fucking tight, god.“ he spoke through gritted teeth, raping my cunt as tears wont stop streaming, it hurt so bad.
it stung, his dick was so thick… and long i felt it hit my cervix and when i looked down, i looked at the bulge in my tummy.
„you… argh~ fuck, so good.“ he couldnt even say a coherent sentence, screaming into his hand that held the blanket there.
his cock felt so warm, the sensation was new… but it hurt… more physiologically than physically.
i started to give in now, loosening up a bit, knowing it would hurt less.
„now you‘re a good slut, you take my cock so well.“ he says as he takes me by my hair to face me.
„i wish i could hear your moans and curses, but all you do is cry.“ he says as he kept slamming himself into me.
i shake my head, pulling out the blanket before i speak.
„k-kai… let me speak.“ he kept pushing deeper.
he takes out the towel completely.
„cumming?“ he jumps to the conclusion quickly. i shake my head.
„kai… it hurts so much!“ i cry out again before he slows down.
„i‘ll be nice.“ he says before his fingers touch my clit again, making me gasp.
he goes slower, hitting my sweetspot now too, making me moan loudly, giving into the sensation.. i tried to pretend he wasnt raping me.
„it feels so good.“ i say, trying to satisfy him, maybe he would stop.
„i told you baby, hm? sex is sooo fucking nice.“ he says before he whispers into my ear again.
„are you gonna cum? tell me when you are close. i want you to cum in my mouth.“ this made me feel sick, i didnt want his mouth on me, especially not on my womanhood.
i had hoped he was done, but he wasnt.
„im gonna fuck your pretty mouth too, you‘ll like that right?“ i dont say anything and keep moaning, him hitting my cervix again.
i didnt want it. i wanted it to end. so bad.
„p-please stop.“ i cry out again and again.
„no… you‘re just starting to make me like you.“ he kisses me, his tongue deep into my mouth and i let out a hum.
„i didnt want to rape you, but you made it soooo easy.“ his words hurt, he was traumatizing me even more.
„k-kai… why are you doing this?“ i look him right into his eyes, for the first time that day.
„dont… look at me.“ he turns my head away.
„i dont want you to look at me.“ he says as he slaps me again, just hurting me even more.
„im fucking you cuz i want to, bitch.“ he goes even harder now, i was probably bleeding too now and as he got even more rough now, my eyes seemed to upset him.
„you‘re on birthcontrol, right?“ he speaks through his teeth as he seemingly was close
„n-no, please… kai dont, just use my mouth!“ i beg as i look into his eyes again, trying to awaken the guy thats inside of his shell.
„and now we are begging, i told you you wanted it.“ yea. sure wanted it. definitely not trying to avoid pregnancy.
he pulls out of me with a hiss, my heat was hurting, swollen and just pulsating.
his hands rest on it and he looks at me, i felt sore.
„my dick is coated with your fucking juice, clean it up like a good little girl.“ he said as he ripped open my mouth, his tip resting on my lips.
„you have such a pretty mouth, put it to good use.“
he pushes his cock deep inside, my tongue gliding against it.
„mhhm, thats what i meant baby.“ he bucks his hips in my mouth as he holds me by my hair, i kept gagging.
„too big, huh?“ no, too rough.
tears were streaming down my face, and my eyes roll back.
„my fucked out slut.“ he speaks inbetween animalistic grunts.
I HOPE YOU ENJOYED !! pls comment n reblog maybe ! :3 i lov you
this is my first post, so again… pls dont be mean.
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