#i dont know what I would do but it wouldnt be pretty

[ganondoodle]

(new totk rewritten)

some a bit less structured ideas/current plans

im reusing the forgotten plateau as the tutorial area for the totk rewrite .... but its INSIDE; you get put there after the start by rauru and have to rebuild the bracelet thingy around his arm bc it got destroyed/damaged in the struggle with ganondorf and the bracelet thing is what has the abilities instead of just .. him? having it somehow? but also not for some reason? bc i find that more believable and lends itself well to gaining one after the other by putting its parts back together (it also feels a bit more controlled in a way, not everyone would have been allowed to have them back in his days)

consider it like .. raurus secret basement, as his castle was also put on the forgotten plateau (but not in the spot of the citadel of time bc wtf, and by now its gone like most else he built), with it being all underground and without a map you wouldnt even know where you are (also i find it to be in character; id imagine it was still called the cradle of hyrule even without the kingdom being there- and thats where he got the idea from to name his "new" kingdom 'hyrule'- not knowing that was its name before)

(as of now the addmittedly cool moment of first jumping down from the canon totk tutorial isnt included but that can still change also i personally think its pretty cool to have to climb all the way up to the sky before getting to explore it- plus the sky is mainly for shiekah stuff since they are so .. having to do with celestial stuff and the sonau in the rewrite are from the underground- though theres little actual sonau stuff left and the shiekah were there too bc its been a long ass time after all)

its not in great shape overall and some rooms have been discovered by the ancient shiekah in the past who studied the bracelet parts they found and use that research to make the stasis and bomb runes (at least), since im bringing back the bombs and the time reversal is what the stasis rune was based on- at the end of which you have to fight a miniboss monster sent after you by gan (bc he damn well knows where rauru would flee to) get your first heart container and are let go into the world

i know its way more strict and less free but it could be a big basement and honestly i dont think trying to copy the fantastic tutorial that is the forgotten plateau in botw is the best idea bc it will almost certainly feel like a worse copy, so id just go for something that doesnt chain itself to attempting to imitate it

(the final battle will also take place on the forgotten plateu, but after the switch and rauru starting to changing hyrule to what he wants it to be its lifted up and he brings his castle back on it- which will be a dungeon on its own)

(another more random thought, i do want the aesthetic of the sonau to be more like they were in botw, the ruins you can find in it are the ones from other sonau that survived on the surface without tech past rauru doing the whole thing with ganondorf and everthing but their numbers having been rather low and dwindling over time anyway- but perhaps rauru has a bit of a different idea, in part bc he is older and still attached to their older style that didnt evolve any further and ... it might just be his personal taste to some degree xD

which ALSO makes sense bc if there were other sonau still alive even after rauru did his thing, it would be logical that the remains of their ruins were in better shape (in the rewrite theres barely anything of sonau architecture left until the switch and rauru bringing it back)- they still lived there for quite some time after all- while the ones from rauru largely fell victim to time or to people intentionally getting rid of it bc surely not everyone was loyal to him)

(also an idea for the gerudo sage, there was one loyal to rauru who did do his bidding but in the temple thing she was supposed to wait for rauru was hunted down by 'koume and kotake' -which im not sure if i want them to be gans moms or his daughters bc i also like that idea, im still working with the totk canon thing of it being a new ganondorf btw bc it just works better for this scenario im working with atm- and they took her place guarding the stone hoping that gan would first return there -perhaps its like extra difficult and rather intentionally structured to be anti rauru in way, and less like gan having overtaken it- .. plus i like the idea of you being able to return there after the switch bc you could get a bit extra lore and story for gans background bc he surely wouldnt have wanted to find them there- he might not even have known they were there bc he never managed to break into this temple so the things that stop you in it when you first do it alongside rauru were all placed there by the two and not gan)

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #ganondoodles rewrites totk #tloz #loz #trying to get out of the art not working corner #so im working on the abilities #tho i had the idea with having the great plateau being the tutorial again but on the inside before #just didnt write it out i think #some people said they like reading these text posts even with no art for it yet so

[gynoids-over-androids]

How do you deal with being a radfem in the art world? In feel like I made a huge mistake in my younger years when I was drawn into queer art and now most of my art contacts are 'queer'. Not only is queer art getting worse and worse when it comes to quality and pretty void of intelect but I also feel if I say exactly what I want with my art, Ill be outcast forever. Not that I have loads of succes but everything would be over then : ( these days Im staying off feminist topics because I know, if I do something woman centric, people will not like it..... I feel like an idiot coward.

im currently switching to tech and continuing art on the side, to secure my wellbeing financlially at least. i think if i wasn't doing it, id be way less eager to talk about feminist topics...

i also feel like a coward sometimes, i know what you mean. for example for this exhibition/art residency i didnt outright tell im a radical feminist, i said im a "materialist feminist who goes to the root and re-mater-ializes female history" lol. i know i wouldnt be "allowed" to mention it at best (happened to another art piece about a radfem) and #cancelled at worse. i know other radfems who are more outspoken about this, i feel like a coward compared to them, but i also think being strategic wouldnt hurt. i think there are ways to present your work and yourself that wouldnt compromise it but also wouldnt completely erase what you want to say.

when we were working on this exhibtion, honestly i didnt even say anything when they were talking about certain topics cause that would be high risk, low reward. for others, id turn their own tactiques on them ("wow, this is something i only hear in the west! maybe i dont understand this cause im an immigrant", "wow thats crazy that there are so many different genders, in X language we only have the word for sex and we use the english word "gender"for sexist stereotypes") etc. It was VERY funny!

i had accusations of transphobia because i often depict vulvas in my work abt women, so i just mad fun of these accusations ("what, do i need to stick dicks everywhere then? im not interested"). a male artist with a piece about gay men which only depicted dick havers didnt (normal) have this criticism ofc.

i agree 100% with what you say about "queer" art. it's such a meaningless label today in the art world, it's anything but subversive. ime it's something these (western and middle+ class) artists use to mean "abnormal", but about ANYTHING! (ex. making art about your stay in a mental health clinic is "queer"). it's SO bigoted.

personally i have a "squeeze every opportunity" mindset. if TRAs want to infiltrate the art space (predominantly female at least in the beginning btw) and make everything about them, why cant we? we need to use every opportunity we can, because i can guarantee no one else is gonna make real feminist art. we need to be strategic about this, sure.

another thing (and thats just my opinion) sometimes we just need to present feminist work without marking them as radical. expressing radfem views and describing them as normal feminism is safer for us and makes the piece more accessible to others, and thats my ultimate goal. im not interested in arguing with cultists, im interested in making art for women.

finally i think its important to create our own spaces and opportunities. id love to make an exhbition or a book abt radfem art one day.

if you want to dm me to talk more, you're welcome, i'll respect your desire for safety

tldr i deal with this by humour + idgaf attitude + trolling + not depending on this financially + being strategic with what you say

#ask

[wondrouswendy]

RE: Use of AI programs to write fanfic

The use of AI technology makes no sense to me as a creator much in the same way using wallhacks or aimbots makes no sense to me in an FPS.

The act of writing/creating and forming the story is the joy. It’s painful and difficult sometimes, but that’s the journey.

The act of playing Apex Legends with my not quite sub 1 KDR means winning feels special and earned. If I won all the time, what’s the point of winning then?

Philosophically, morally, using AI to create something for you, whether art, fic, whatever it may be, is a betrayal of the deepest kind to the craft and it will never make sense to me. It’s outright cheating.

Maybe you think your creative output isn’t up to standards you set out for yourself, but you are not the first and you won’t be the last person to endure this.

Thousands of years of creating art. Don’t cheapen your place in the long-standing narrative by asking a prompt to do your work for you. Create because the act of creation is the journey.

#artificial intelligence #ai art discourse #i genuinely will lose my shit if ao3 allows ai to learn from fanworks #i dont know what I would do but it wouldnt be pretty #ai art is fake art #ai writing is fake writing #i dont care if it’s bad now we have to take a stand as creatives to condemn it

[ginbutnottonic]

Do you guys think Ratio looks up the newest memes every week so he can understand what his students laugh at

Ratio: don't disturb the class

Student: -mews- (idk whats popular nowadays I dont use tiktok)

Ratio: you're staying after class, mid mew, -10 points

Do ignore my rant if Im cringe lmao I am not

Hip enough

#text post #honkai star rail #dr ratio #can u tell I dont use social media much #thank you internet news channels what would I do without you #but he would tho just so he could know what the fuck the kids are on about #plus hes pretty young I believe so he wouldnt wanna be behind the trends #judging from the ipc social media thingy that hoyo posted I feel like hes pretty hip

[stupidrant]

i think the most we will get is PC release (if that) this year but that means we gotta deal with those trolls bc changing angrb0da’s skin color is such a big deal to these mfs and i still dont understand that sweet baby inc shit bcuz all the information im seeing is just bundled bullshit LMFAOOO i feel like her actual character gets overshadowed by the made up problems and no one actually talks abt HER as a character or even analyses her fr (outside of here ofc) lol sms abt to make a banger with her and atreus istg

#Truth be told i dont even wanna talk abt this anymore but this topic gets brought up pretty much every week atp #How weird is it that u would only accept her if she were white #Thats literally you admitting you like her character but her being black is a deal breaker #I feel like no matter how much they want her to be a white girl changing her skin wouldnt change their opinion abt her #Theres this one (big) acct in particular thats constantly shitting on rag and its like bro u need to just leave if ur not happy #or take a long ass break and come back at times and then leave again cuz hes just miserable as fuck and yall know exactly who im talking ab #I do see more people getting annoyed with this topic and i dont blame them #its getting super out of hand and dragged out atp #Once again i do not want ppl to like her out of PITY. she deserves a very honest group of fans and if those fans are ppl #That disliked her at first but started to like her later on thats fine as long as its out of being genuine #I cannot wait for her to gain more fans fr but i have to be careful what i wish for bcuz i dont want ppl to become too crazy lol #I might just post smth on that god forsaken reddit as an appreciation post of her or smth idk yet LMFAOOO #I for sure will have to be more brave and visible with my love for her one of these days #also very grateful for that one ragnarok vp. he loves angie for sure #Anyways #Love angie for life #Gow #god of war ragnarok #rant

[volfoss]

do u guys like her...

#twist rambles #having to write the id for this like. heres all the diseases. #sorry im like... ive been researching on and off all day and i truly do think i could fix her. pray fo rme that buyee shipping wouldnt be #too bad bc i want her soooo bad #bjd posting #and shes DIRT CHEAP. 1000 yen. like thats NUTS. they keep having to put the auction back up bc NO ONE will bid on this thang. #anyways. i am pretty confident now after all the research that... i could remove the face paint and resculpt her nose and then. paint it #again lmao. thankfully cordula (my resinsoul li/my VERY pink doll) has also had to have been full head painted so like... it shouldnt be to #bad? and w already having a body that SHOULD perfectly fit (given i can figure out the neck connector lol) i can just... paint her head to #match the body if i do go thru w it. i dont normally get like... this focused on what i assumed was an impulse purchase (havent bought her #yet) but i just... i keep thinking abt her like. i genuinely curse the autism object empathy bc every day ive been like checking the sales #page to see if it will truly be MY burden to bear. #anyways. i am making this post to get thoughts on her. do you guys see the cuteness hiding under the scaries. #if i DID get her it would be a massive liveblog adventure as i clean her up so. know that if you are invested in me deyuckifying beasts lol

[vaugarde]

pokeani moments that exist purely to make Me miserable:

the line where they call ash's oshawott a throwaway pokemon in the unova league so they're just flat out saying they think it's a worthless pokemon

to thine own pokemon be true (extra angst points for me bc ambipom was my second favorite on the team at the time)

the granddaughter of the guy who trains gliscor calling gliscor pathetic and weak to her face despite gliscor being an extremely sensitive pokemon

pretty much everything about that gible

blue episode (favorite color but they made it a fetish somehow and also dewott and brionne and meowstic are all there and its so bad)

boxing heracross immediately. also that battle frontier episode where it's literally the only returning ash mon (barring torkoal i think but i dont count it bc its native to AG) to get humiliated onscreen

pidgeot returning but gliscor didn't even show up in the miniseries despite being an Actual Character

#sorry ik i keep bringing up the throwaway line but like. its SOOOOOOOOOO bad holy shit #the heracross one isnt aaaaaas bad tbf bc they really make up for it in the sinnoh league #but aside from one ep in the miniseries we never quite get an episode where oshawott proves itself in a battle #i still love that episode bc it still kinda feels like an apology for all the oshawott bashing in bw but i am a little :/ #that battling didnt even come up once #ive kiiinda eased up on gliscors benching episode bc at the end of the day it isssss pretty good to her. also its the best animated one #but its treatment like what i mentioned that still really drags it down to me #and also like. i know ppl praise gliscor being so powerful after the episode but i really dont get why we couldnt have just #had a gliscor training arc onscreen. but ig we wouldnt have that stupid ass gible plot that went nowhere now would we #but like.... we had such a huge stretch between that episode and the league. i really dont get why we couldnt have had a mini arc #where gliscor realizes shes not pulling her weight that well and really starts hauling ass #she doesnt really even sweep in the paul fight. she gets beaten immediately by ninjask #the drapion part was awesome tho yayyyy #but my point is that it wouldnt really change much if gliscor just stayed and got stronger on its own #have the bench episode be a wake up call for gliscor rather than a goodbye one and she becomes super competent #like im not just saying this bc gliscor is my favorite character in the entire show. i feel like its straight up kinda lazy and less reward #rewarding #imagine how the drapion fight could be EVEN MORE cathartic if we saw gliscor struggle and fight to get better throughout the show #as much as i like that specific battle and ash vs paul as a whole... it just kinda proves my point that sending gliscor away at all #was kind of a shitty move #like ohhhhh ash's team is all getting revenge for lake acuity yay!!!!! oh one of them was kicked off for the sake of a shitty gible plot th #which really only served to make shitty piplup bashing jokes and only actually had a conclusion in the league itself #by which time it was too late to actually do anything else with it. yeah we kicked someone off for that. but shes back now!!! #like it doesnt weaken the battle THAT much. in fact theres some value in how ash went out of his way to make sure gliscor could be there #so her defeat could also be avenged. and its still my fave battle in the whole anime. but it just proves to me how pointless that was reall #echoed voice

[13eyond13]

.

#so far in my sporadic picking away at various manga series i feel i have the weirdest reader relationships with JJBA and Attack on Titan #when reading JJBA i am not really that invested in the characters or even whats happening to them and yet i still never decide to dnf it #and i dont even know what it is that keeps me reading except that its just very unique i suppose? #such an odd combo of different things that somehow manages to eventually have its own sorta cohesive logic and charm #also the art is just fun. its ornate and goofy and macho and flamboyant and gross #but as soon as i put it down i stop thinking about it too #and dont feel like picking it up again for at least several more days #with attack on titan i found the art style mostly really bad at first ngl #it reminded me of awkward drawings a high schooler would make like the inconsistentness #of like there are good action poses here but the people also look weird ugly bland and stiff and the backgrounds are often so empty #idk i was feeling pretty blah about it but something about how starkly straight-forward the story is was interesting to me #where its literally exactly what you heard its just #theres a bunch of humanoid giants attacking our city #and we have to stop them. that's it #and also the awkwardness of the art style i find works extremely well when it comes to the titans #like they are genuinely creepy to me. and they do actually feel massive the way theyre drawn. and the mystery around them interests me too #anyways im like 60% through part 1 of jojo(also read most of part 4 a few years ago) and only on vol 3 of AoT #but yeah those are the 2 series i have the most mixed feelings about so far #wouldnt say i love or hate either of them but still also continue to want to find out more #13readsmanga #p

[dailypokemoncrochet]

I think I think of coding in the same way that y'all think of freehand crocheting, in that I think it's a kind of magic and I often have ideas that I'm pretty sure are possible to carry out if I only knew how to code. And I could read a lot about it, I could study various programming languages, but I still feel like in my head there's something not clicking that stops me from actually going from idea > program, and for someone who computers does come naturally to or is very skilled with, they're just like "??? you just gotta go from idea > program" and that can be a little frustrating

#text #i don't know how to explain why i know what i do works for crocheting #it really is like.. picture > crochet #i see the picture i make the picture #i think i could give better examples of how the process works but theres still some intuition and skill involved on the listeners part #that i wouldnt be able to just. transfer over #and i am pretty good at explaining things in many different ways and i wish i could just teach how to freehand crochet #were i a real wizard i would have apprentices and we would make a bunch of yarn critters #in my lifetime i hope i do find some kind of program that can help visualize it that'd be neat #oh but back to the computer thing i had another idea that i can word in words but not in computer speak and i dont want to go down another #series of google searches and get distracted frustrated by Things

[goethitee]

i think im gonna quit my job. i rlly dont think i can do this anymore. it is just so exhausting my body is falling apart i am in so much pain all the time. & it is so thankless too. i mean, thats not always true. i have clients that love me & i truly care about them & their dogs, but theres just - so many assholes. & ik thats everywhere. i get it. but i put in so much work for what? & something that i actually said to my bsf the other day - i could deal with my body falling apart if the pay was good. but it isnt!! & there isnt truly anyway for it to get better!! it was never my dream job to begin with, but i could stick with it, but i really think it is time for me to leave now, before too long & theres even more pressure for me to stay. i just cant do it anymore.

#God. i dont even know how to go about quitting tho #like two weeks isnt enough notice because im booked out for months. i have my own clientele that need somebody to take care of them #& there currently isnt any one else to do so #& if i told my boss i was thinking abt leaving im pretty sure she would flip out & kick me out on the spot #she would hate me. but i just truly cant keep going like this #im too tired & in too much pain to do anything. & i dont even have any time to do anything. or money. #another thing is - maybe this wouldnt be now if my boss would let us turn ppl away #but instead i get dogs where im literally like risking my life or a limb #& again for what? so someones dog can get a bath? #also im turning into such a negative & nasty person. i try not to be but i really am. i dont want to be. i want to be how i used to. #i cant sit or lay down without being in pain #n e ways … just needed to get this out b4 i try to talk to the ppl in my life abt it & they freak out on me

[borderlinegerard]

i am the poisoned blood running through my tired veins

#my posts #personal #ITS SO MOT FUCKINH FAIR. #since he hates me now i dont care if he sees this and im pretty sure i fucking blocked the reat of them so idontfucking care #i hate all kf them so much and i dont fucking care how bad they hurt. i hurt too #for some INSANE REASON i was the only oke that had to apologize. why did they never apologize . #they know they hurt me. He knkws he hurt me. #when j say this they think im selfish. they can think what they want. #byt jts fucking crazy to act like im the only one tjat did anything wronh #i fucking admitted i was wrong. but it wasnt enough. notjing is ever enough for them! #if He ever tries to text me again im not responding. it was stupid of me to respons. #i wonder what he would say if he knew that i chose ro respond by chance of a coin flip #if it had landed on tails i wouldnt be making this post. #he cares more than i do. i dont have the luxury of caring. #he says “i led him on” but if he wanted skme speicodx kind of love fucking say skmething #i didnt knkw i was supposed to be differenr. if he had said that from the dtart i never would have agreed. #i didnt want to change for him. #he shouldve been different and he shouldve been better #i shouldve been too. but atleast i can admit ghat #what the fuck do you mean when you say you understand why j do what you do and uou get it so deeply #but then you still leave. does rhat mean you understand how much you hurt me that first time #it barely hurts anymore. but i cried four times last nigjt #now i dont feel it and now i dont care. youll never knkw little i can let myself care #ill distract myself until i forget all about you because i csnt let myself feel any of this #i dont care if im not changjng the way you begged me to. thats not an option rigjtnmow #im still fighting to stay alive. i dont know that you understand what thats like #you say you get it. i tjink you just say that #you loved me and i dont like that. i warned you and you dwatted my warning away #how is that all my fault. #how is all of this my fault.

[spiked-mall-goth]

heyyyyyy <3 <3 i feel terrible.

i had planned to stay off longer but i genuinely have had like three nervous breakdowns since i left bc right as i decided it was abt time i just chill for a little bit everything started happening all at once. so i came back to see my silly little internet friends, but like the second i logged back on some ppl were talking smack abt me sooooooooo... ya know. my day (two weeks) be so fine,, then BOOM my entire schedule fills up and i become hollow on the inside! (hey sorry like vent post n tags i need to get things out of my brain)

#spikes rambles #i was happy there for a minute too :< #heres what its looking like rn.... #i have three weddings. one of which i am a bridesmaid for and was left to get my own dress #but i cant afford a nice dress that matches. so i have to make one my damn self. and in two weeks. #i have a graduation.. and a graduation party both for different ppl #even tho i had to push back my own graduation by a full year bc things were just not going as planned. and now everyone thinks im a failure #im volunteering to teach at a kids summer camp like thingy. i was supposed to have a partner but i was told that she actually #wants nothing to do with me and was forced into this but i was under the impression that we would be teaching TOGETHER #and not her being an assistant. so now i have to call her and be like heyyyyy what the fuck is going on i need to know the lesson plan #im also volunteering for a church summer thing. if i could i wouldnt be doing this but my self made mother figure asked me personally #to help and i cant say no to this. we get to hang out and i get to paint like murals and shit and we've been doing this together for years #i have to spend the weekend with my bio mother to go to a celtic festival thing bc my younger brother wants to go. #i'm having some pretty severe best friend problems which i am honestly not well equipped enough to deal with and its eating me away inside #summer has officially started here so that means 24/7 headaches and sensory problems. straight up category 5 autism moments #i had to pick up the slack and become a paternal figure to my youngest brother. which is just sad that i have to at all #my dear beloved friend is trying very hard to make a young adult like hangout (???) thing in own town and really wants me to go #but i just dont wanna. i dont really care for social gatherings #hey guys btw all this has happened or was planned for next month in the two weeks i was gone #what the fuck.

[vagueiish]

fuck i wish i could write. oliver just signed the deal with raphael (because he constantly feels like he's doing nothing to help the party or anyone and putting his soul on the line is the very least he could do, even though he helps everyone and also is like.... at max approval with the whole party and has finished or done the majority of everyone's personal quests)(he's trusting the emperor less and less, for Reasons, which i guess would involve more writing because it involves personal backstory shit, and he's already burned the bridge with gortash by crashing the party at the iron throne and saving wyll's dad, so his options to deal with the tadpoles are becoming fewer and fewer)(so. raphael it is. for now...?)

and astarion's basically just like 'well that was stupid, but what do i care, it's not *my* name on the contract lol' (even though oliver's apparently the first person he's truly cared for, bb, what are you doing? is this a 'id rather you hadn't, and i'm actually kind of upset but don't know how to deal and also you're a fuckin adult and made your choice, so what's the point in saying anything' moment or what, i am having trouble deciphering this right now)(and i know the dude is an ass, i dont expect him to be Nice, but your honor, theyre in love. and he did sound kind of pissed about it! or irritated/sarcastic??? but! how did he mean it? my brain is not cooperating, i hate this, lmao, i wish there was a follow up convo or something so i could pin down this fuckin plot bunny)

(and i mean. this is deviating into headcanon/oliver as tav specific territory, and is me trying to figure out how it'd figure into the thing i'd wind up writing for this if i do, and again, astarion is an ass and all that, maybe not the most emotionally mature dude in the realms to put it mildly, but he'd know, right? eventually, at least??? that he fucked up saying that? that however he actually meant it, it's going to sound very much like 'i don't actually care about you' to the first person he professes to actually care about?)(and in terms of oliver's canon timeline, i think he signs well after his own 'personal quest' would have occurred. so astarion would know about oliver's mother and all that baggage. not that he'd necessarily know what do to with it, but he'd probably have heard her be all 'yeah, i never actually cared for or wanted you, soo....')(which is an oversimplification and the whole situation is quite complicated, but. that's the gist he gets, so anyway...)

and then karlach. my love. the bestest of girls, she's angry and insisting on going to avernus one last time to save oliver's fucking soul because she's awesome and also because he's her friend and, tangent, i wish there was an option at all times to hug her, whether as a friend or lover. she deserves all the hugs, romantical or platonic or whatever, fuck, i want to hug karlach so fucking bad

and there is something *there* with all of this because oliver, sweet and sad and self-loathing, wouldn't have any of her help. he'd want her to let it go. gently, at first, but of course she doesn't, so then he gets pissed. because this is his decision. because it's not her name or anyone else's on the dotted line, so why the fuck does she care? (hm. sounds familiar.......) let it go. let him help for once, not be a burden on the party for *once* (as if he hasn't spent the whole adventure bending over backwards not just for our merry band of adventurers, but everyone he's come across)(because it's not enough, never enough, it'll never be enough to make up for being him) he isn't worth the trip to avernus, isnt worth her forcing herself to face that place again. and he's rarely loud or angry but he's both now, the exhaustion and frustration and uncertainty and fear re: the future that he's been trying to ignore pouring our of him, horribly misdirected at probably his best friend in the whole group, so of course the rest of the party is going to hear it and it's just.... there is something here, i feel it in me bones

(also. tangentially related, but didn't raphael imply that fucking up the contract would fuck over the whole group and not just whomstever is signing it? said something about hanging you and your friends from meathooks while watching the world burn??? so either he's full of shit or the contract actually fucks over everyone if broken, which..... oliver as tav would not have signed if breaking it affected anyone else, so this might all be moot. i dunno. just rambling)

#long post #but #it's kind of funny because i had oliver bring only astarion to sign the contract #because i imagined oliver wouldnt want the rest to know but he was still unsure about the decision #and wanted moral support lmao #he'd refused at first but overthought it and came crawling back #i dont know. maybe he was hoping the man he loved would try to stop him but he didnt.... #anyway..... #so it kind of feels like astarion got back to the rooms and was like 'oh btw he signed the fuckin contract lmao' #which i imagine karlach would flip out on him like 'why the *fuck* would you let him do that?' #to which astarion's snarks like 'what do i look like? his mother?' before maybe having an aha moment #hopefully having an aha moment #and maybe he notices that night that oliver doesnt ask if he's managed to feed at all today #something he's asked pretty much every day since astarions big vampire reveal #in some form or another. sometimes direct 'have you eaten?' sometimes a subtle 'you good?' #maybe he notices and maybe he knows something's wrong. but what the fuck is he supposed to do about it? #fuck. i dont know #there's something here. i know it #oc: could it be this misery will suffice? (oliver) #scott sucks at bg3 #bideo gaems #to the void with love

[the-acid-pear]

I miss Ashley so it's time for season 3!! I really hope the closure is, y'know, at least nice enough :/

#luly talks #not perfect bc for sure it wont be this is a cancelled show and all but like #a least a nice wrap up for Ash? since Y'KNOW its like the last we will see of him since im pretty sure Mr Campbell is fucking DONE #(which i dont blame him for at all btw) #so y'know at least something nice something cool i would be ok w that nothing TOO open :\ #ah who am i fooling I'm hoping Ash DIES 😂 #joke. though that would be funny ngl. fucking killin ash off.. i know they wouldnt but could you IMAGINE? 💀 #i dont know shit about this season btw i mean i saw some ladies? but idk what their names are or what they do #and i know they show Ash's second name which is Joanna and also that he smokes some more weed in typical ash fashion #but that's literally all i know #this aint like season 2 where i was DYING to see episode 7 nah here im going BLIND and partly hopeless 😁 #so wish me luck 😳

[crest-of-gautier]

made an eeny bit of progress in pq today... im like maybe 80% through the 3rd floor of you in wonderland and currently level 11...!

#pq #lizz.jpg #lizz.txt #i love how i say 'eeny' as if i did not play for like four hours. LOL.. i think i wanna play in smaller chunks next time #yall... i have so much fear of those gosh darn card soldiers... i dont want to know what my life is going to be like if they give f.o.e.s- #more gimmicks... THEY ARENT BAD I JUST. I REALLY DONT LIKE THE F.O.E. STARING AT ME #my (ougouoguough) of the f.o.e.s is so real that if i have energy i would totally make a doodle about it #dont really have much interesting things 2 report... i think next play session ill probably end up finishing the labryinth #it seems pretty close to done tbh esp since i stopped b4 the room with the three fucking f.o.e.s and im like #'i do not have the mental energy to figure out how to do this' (they say and proceed to write a text wall) #and im guessing we'll get to see the investigation team after finishing the labryinth? #the games being like REALLY silly right now but im like. squinting so hard at zen and rei you have NO idea how sus these guys are to me #not to go against my 'im not intelligent on this blog' policy but theres something about a thing that elizabeth said early on thats like #alerting the lizz sus radars. she said something like you wouldnt find living humans here and that they might theoretically be an entity- #that merged w/personas and shadows AND TO ME THIS IS A HGUE RED FLAG??? #LIKE.... me just looking at how RYOJI fucking mochizuki is a thing and im like “ah i see now why they set it before ryoji” BECAUSE !!! AAA #because at this point sees wouldn't have met an entity like ryoji who is fucking shadow that is humanized by minato so uh like #if they met ryoji and were past dec 2 AND THEN PQ'D IT UP then they'd look at zen and rei in addition to what elizabeth said #then IDK WHAT IM SAYING BUT LIKE ZEN AND REI HAVE TO BE SOME KINDA ENTITY AND I DONT KNOW WHAT #for shits and giggles ill say death bc i like death as a thematic thing LMAOOO im a really delulu little guy rn dont talk to me #um. im being really normal right now yeah uh this should've gone under a read more oops ill do that next time #for my own sanity i will NOT go into what thoughts are brewing in my head (hypothezing what time the p4 cast was pulled from- #BUT ALSO THE WAY TEDDIE ALSO falls into elizabeth's description UGH screams into. a bucket.) #anyway for. something. thats not me spitballing i hope that i can see yosuke soon.. i want him in my party!!!! #i rlly like the game mechanics and while zen and rei have been great 2 start with they cant equip subpersonas... ough #ok thats. thats all. i did not expect to text ramble but (THIS IS ME WE ARE TALKING ABOUT i cannot shut up) #im having fun though!!!! its been nice to play smthn else for once LMAO i wonder how much ill get through b4 the month ends

[dexaroth]

i cant believe the day but i finally got a full tower pc. bought it already built and at a considerable discount of some 320 dollars off. its fucking huge and theres so many things going on inside... i was initially planning on choosing the parts myself but finding the graphics card was so hard and everyone else convinced me to just buy it built and honestly? good. id probably have fucked this up so badly by myself

i cant use it yet bc i took too long to buy the monitor that was also on sale and now its regular price -_- tho i managed to find a discount used one for now. well see how that goes since ill get it tomorrow. i tested it on out living room tv and it had some kaspersky thingy open and like thats so cute. i hope they left some treats in the browsing history for me to search through before i wipe it clean

#its a hexer case and wouldnt you guess the front has a hexagonal pattern. so pretty.. #it came with 3 fans installed there too that have a cmyk color style to them and it looks quite neat. im thinking of buying some leds to pu #inside the case to go with my keyboard tho idk if id go that far tbh (< gamer rot is setting in. im not immune to pretty lighting..) #its also got a lot of unused space inside. im thinking of making more sculptures to put in. though idk if thatd be safe for it #bc cold porcelain is glue and water. what if it evaporates inside and suddenly everythings covered in a glue film #i wonder if varnish would help? the transparent nail polish sure didnt do shit it came off like 2 days after sculpting the rw slug sleeping #which like yeah of course. its nail polish. but i didnt expect it to flake since all it does is sleep on top of my laptop keyboard #i need miniature glass cake cover tops to encapsule every sculpture inside for safety #looking at it still no wonder these are called towers gotdamn its legit so huge.. #it looks awkward tho bc i cant fully make it glue to the wall bc of the cables so its like. awkwardly a bit in front of the wall #im scaared as to how to tell if it ever gets too hot. on a laptop u just press ur head against the left half and feel how hot it is #i think im gonna need software for this.. sigh. tho maybe ill never get to that point since its supposed to be decent #AND its not 8 years old + the 3 fans and gpu fan and cpu fan. surely thats enough. the case even has space for more than that!! #the acrylic side reflects my keyboard too. so niceys. stimulation for my creature eyes #my desk is gonna be so fucked up when i have to organize everything too bc the one i have now is perfecly laptop-oriented #it sits on a custom wooden desk and the keyboard+drawing tablet sit below. but theres a shelf on top of my desk thats too low for the> #>normal monitor to sit to so i wont be able to use the custom desk. and i dont even know what ill do with my laptop either #finally a good change in my sad life routine fr. i cant wait to play watchdogs on this and overgrowth and other ones #AND LAGLESS KRITA SMUDGE ENGINE BRUSHES!!! AND DOUBLE BRUSHES. THEYRE SO LAGGY #A N D ACTUAL FULL HD NORMAL MONITOR. maybe that will get me to not draw in small canvases anymore #now im anxious i just want the day to be over to get the monitor tomorrow aouugh.. just bc i started coding my resources neocities page #dextxt #<the 'major life events' ((sorta)) tag returns. one for the books.. if something bad happens.. itll be here to remind me of the good times