#i dont know if this is like an ask thing

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[catmask]

sometimes while i think about that while a lot of adults did not treat me very well as a kid i also get a lot of 'in hindsight this person was so good to me and i didnt even realize it until now' as an adult. today i was thinking about how the first anime convention i ever went to was when i was 10 and i asked the man working the manga cafe what manga was/what a good place to start was (because the con was very overstimulating for me and i had gotten lost) and he asked how old i was before recommending yotsuba and asking if i wanted any water or something to eat. its really simple but theres a lot of bad things that couldve happened or he could've been careless in his recommendation, but instead yotsuba has remained one of my favorite manga for years, and probably a large portion of why i continue to read manga as an adult... i think adults who try to involve kids in the world safely/kindly even in little ways make so much more of a difference than they ever really know.

#and i know that sounds silly like YES. it was just a bookr ecommendation #but i feel like a lot of people either dont really care about whats a good starting point for younger kids in their shared fan spaces #or dont really take the care to recognize different peoples ages would effect what they would both enjoy or #be capable of engaging with #not to mention theres a lot of manga that would NOT have been appropriate for a 10 year old to read #so the fact that he askedd and even asked what sort of thing i liked at the time #was very sweet. i think about him a lot and i hope hes doing well #txt #scratchpost

[caruliaa]

staff still hasn't given me polls, what should i do?

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their moms 69%

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their dads 31%

grace image os i get to look at her

#edit: edited the og post to what i want but to set the record straight i edited to the post to be mathematically correct right after the #first person pointed it out which was like ten mins after i posted the og post. now fuck offf !!!!! the rest of the tags r from the og post #for some reason i feel very immature making your mom jokes about tumblr staff. which i shldnt !! #bc they suck nd they still havent given me polls. but i ig i feel imature bc it a your mom joke 😭 but still i tihnk its kinda funny #EDIT: edited the post to what i want bc yall were getting annoying . but to set the record straight i edited to post to be mathematically #also its *mum* not mom okay i am NOT !! an american . but if i say mum everyone will j be like 'omg british' like i dont know i am #anyway. i want polls please. give me the rigght to force my mutuals chose between the most inane things #also i tihnk it wld b cool for the cs weekly blog. like w each episode #i cld do a poll of like. out of five stars what do u think of this ep #and it wld b a cool thing of which eps r ppls faves #also i cld have like. whose ur fave in team red whos ur fave in acme etc #id prob just have to go with vile faculty bc theres more than 10 ppl in vile. and ppl wld kill me if i didnt include nel the ell or whoever #it wld b fun !!! #oh btw csweekly thats i thing i want to start. prob on uhhh the 11th of feb ill post abt it more but its basically #a tag/blog for watching cs one ep a time watching one ep every saturday #ya !! :3 #flappy rambles #inaccessible #ask to tag #(<- idk. just in case)

[comradekatara]

it's national draw your sibling day

#id in alt text #avatar the last airbender #atla #katara #sokka #katara&sokka #art #mart #oldergaang #portraitgaang #i like to think they get less antagonistic once theyre in their twenties #i also firmly believe w every fibre of my soul that sokka improves his art #(and im coming for anyone who says otherwise in the comments of this post with hammers. jsyk) #also drawing w charcoal is way easier than ink painting. so maybe he realizes that too #also apologies if i butchered the spelling of katara's name i was just working w the wiki but . if its bad u can say its intentional #bc sokka is stupid or whatever idk 😭 #anyway. this ACTUALLY started bc i was thinking about how we never actually see katara draw #but i just KNOW that she would have the most anime art style #dont ask me how i know these things ok i just do #so this whole thing was just an excuse to showcase that . lmao #i worked so hard on this tho. pls clap

[creekfiend]

While I'm talking about social stuff I had to learn as an autistic person

There's a LOT of social interactions between human beings whose purpose really boils down to being like that thing dogs do where they go "omg YOU'RE a dog??? I'M a dog!!!!!" And that's not a bad thing. Highly ritualized "meaningless" displays of human connection like friendly greetings and talking about things like weather actually do serve a purpose which is like idk ritualized displays birds do. YOU'RE a human? Omg I'M a human!!!! Wow!!!

And they don't have to be your favorite flavor of interaction. You can even think they're silly. But they DO serve a purpose or else they wouldn't be a thing.

#'why do people ask how you are if they dont want to know' its a ritual display. a lot of things are ritual displays #this helps ME a lot bc in other animals i think ritual greeting displays are cute #so i can just port in that emotion when i frame human greeting displays like that lol

[caramelldansenu]

*kills it* *kills it again* *kills it again* *kills it again* *kills it aga

[text]

Lamb: This is the new mascot, Narinder. Make sure to feed it 4 times a day it just escaped an eternal prison

Follower: Yes, of course great leader!

Lamb: And if it dissents, just give it snacks and a pat. It'll calm down

Follower: Oooh! So like a pet cat?

Lamb: Exactly.

Narinder: INSOLENT LAMB. I AM STILL HERE.

#art #fanart #drawing #cotl #cult of the lamb #cotl narinder #dont ask why pet cats exist and follower cats exist at the same time just accept jt #my glasses broke after while i was in the middle of drawing this i taped my glasses together just to finish it 🙃 #it hurt my nose like hell #the things i do for art #not ship art #narinder is like the lambs pet cat #u know how u treat ur cat thats exactly how the lamb treats narinder #because the lamb is just an extension of me in this

[solarpunkani]

Hot 4am take but I feel like if we want to get people more interested in making their yards a more habitable space for wildlife like insects, we have to acknowledge that ‘Don’t want bugs in your house’ is still a 100% fair and valid point of view. ‘Loves nature’ and ‘doesn’t want roaches spiders and mosquitoes in the house’ aren’t opposites.

And with that in mind, when we propose to people that spraying pesticides around houses is Not A Good Idea, Actually, I feel like we need to give an alternative asides from ‘deal with it.’

#solarpunk #anti pesticides #ani rambles #this is coming from personal opinion at 4am keep that in mind but like #I’m scared of roaches. i’m fine with them outside though #my parents dont like roaches and for good reason. they spray Ortho Home Defense along the veeery edge of the concrete by the doors to #keep roaches and shit from coming in because yknow. Florida. #if I tell them ‘hey actually we shouldn’t spray pesticides inside (ie raid spray) or outside (ie home defense) #theyre gonna ask wtf to do instead to prevent roaches #and if I tell them ‘nothing suck it up buttercup’ they’re gonna laugh and then double down on the sprays #we gotta have an alternative ready and honestly maybe I’m not looking in the right places but I genuinely don’t know of any #like one online friend told me leaving brush piles around the yard decreased the amount of bugs trying to come in but like #thats one person. anecdotal. and I haven’t seen anything online confirming that as a thing (yet) #idk man I’m going to bed. #might delete later #house pest saga

[daily-vessels]

born of root and only root

#worf drew something? #. this feels unfinished to me LOL but i dont wanna do all those branches #pioneer: vessel #hk #hollow knight #hk vessels #hk vessel art #hk art #actual daily #artwork #illustration #// ask for tags #< you know sometimes i just draw things and never think of the implications #// trypophobia #< not exactly but i feel like it triggers something similar #// body horror

[lucabyte]

Not all who wander are lost. Some who wander, however, are extremely, extremely lost.

#note: this is a kitchen in a house of change. they are still on the road w the party #not to say i think that maybe chillin out in one location with some loved ones and planned visits from their friends would fix siffrin #but i am saying that they do seem to hoard random items at every given oppertunity. which is an interesting habit #isat #isat fanart #in stars and time #in stars and time fanart #isat spoilers #sifloop #isat siffrin #isat loop #sloops #lucabyteart #but yeah no i dont actually know that siffrin would wwwant to be . travelling literally forever. given the. well. um #that one QnA answer especially. the immediate deflective joking when asked how long they'd been a traveller. mm. #it's not like they chose this life is the thing. and we know they have a habit of forcing themselves to 'stick to the script' #i really do think they'd be better for some stability. its not like you cant have a house and also go on fun travel holidays also #(if you want my real opinion. why not just move to bambouche to help raise bonnie. but. that's fanfic territory at that point)

[the-kipsabian]

saw a take so fucking rancid on twitter i almost deleted the entire app from my phone jesus fucking christ

first of all ao3 is an archive site. this is like going to the library and saying "oh i dont like this" on every piece of media you find that you dislike and thinking they should be stamped with some sort of a marker just cause you didnt like it

you can always click back and leave. fic writers owe you nothing to explain themselves and their creations. if they have mistagged or miscategorized fics, then i understand, however there are report tools for that instead of yelling at the artist tbh

im not saying free works arent necessarily above criticism. but this is just. fucking wild. its common courtesy to just enjoy stuff (or fucking leave if you dont, the back button is free) and if the artist specifically asks for critiques, then give one - constructive that is, shitting all over someones work is not proper criticism, mind you

i just find it fucking wild people are treating art and archive sites as social media these days like this and everything needs to be policed and ~catered to the algorithm~ like. no. ao3 doesnt have an algorithm. you should be able to fucking tell what you like and what you dont like and steer away from that kind of content and let people fucking be with their art. they dont owe you anything (except trigger warnings i'd argue, but i know some people disagree with that as well for some reason), and imagine how much more energy you'd have if you only engaged with things you liked and spent time looking at instead of going to places where you dont enjoy yourself. let alone spending time telling other people you dont enjoy what they enjoy. what a fucking life

#like what the fuck #where is the common courtesy of fandoms these days im just fucking asking. its ridiculous #the back button is free. shutting your fucking mouth is free. constructive criticism when people ask for it is nice but only then #these are fucking basic level fandom engagement things #am i old or are people just this fucking awful now that these guidelines dont exist anymore #im just. ough #sorry i had to get this out. idk as someone who has never left unsolicited advice for anyone and never gotten it back it just #it fucking grinds me that people are like this now. like fucking wow #ive been here for almost two decades soon and i still know how to behave. yall better fucking learn #im gonna go back to video game sorry i really needed to yell for a hot fucking second #if you choose to reblog this dont fucking clown on it okay. god #night is an absolute mess on main

[love4hobi]

The things you do are impressive. Who would work so hard to capture street dance like this? Who does that?

HOPE ON THE STREET EP.2

#bts #hoseok #jhope #hobi #btsgif #btsedit #dailybts #usersky #annietrack #userines #* #i know someone already kinda giffed this but i dont care #this is so important to me #i love when he gets showered with praise against his will #'who does that' is right!!! i ask myself that same thing all the time #like its so crazy that literally everyone he meets talks about how kind and humble and hard working and amazing he is #u dont have to wonder with him its all in the testimonials!

[tubbytarchia]

gg buddy am I right (ethubs doodle that I don't know what to do with)

#ethubs #Ive wanted to draw ethubs angst for so many days but art block is still hitting hard and this thing has been sitting around for awhile #hey ethubers how did you. survive #last life ethubs upsets me so much make it end #The way after Bdubs dies Etho is trying to justify to himself not having given him a life to begin with rather than #telling him to prove himself #its like he expects the others who are with him to comment on it but they dont. Etho's all "I couldn't have just given it to him you know.. #without them asking about it or anything. And Etho just keeps going. god damn it Etho I feel so bad for them #dont even get me started on what Bdubs said to G about Etho grrrr GRRRR I saw that for the first time not long ago GRRRRRR #I still wanna draw proper ethubs though. someday #also the damage to Bdubs' face is supposed to be from the rocket Lizzie shot #does it make sense? No probably not but its an excuse to make him look more dead #tubby art

[electoons]

I love the college of winterhold. everyone there is casually deranged and there's like an alarming number of students and staff who threaten you immediately when they meet you. it's always one of the first questlines I do. which makes it even funnier when you get made the arch-mage of the college. I'm level 12 and got through this questline knowing exactly 3 spells. what do you mean you want me to lead the college. this school CANNOT be an accredited institution

#i ask if anyone wants this job and everyone starts whistling and checking their phones #their magic phones. theyre scrolls #mia.txt #tes #skyrim #oh no wait i forgot j'zargo wants the position & actively tries to kill you (these are separate events but still probably not unrelated) #and nirya as well. you know what maybe its a good thing im the archmage because im never there #i drop in every few weeks for 10 minutes then leave. the place pretty much runs itself right #reddit says “they have a bullying problem” yeah i know i married him #and he's the new archmage's special little princess and he can do whatever he wants forever. call the police about it #dont bring your piddly ass problems to the archmage shes busy girlbossing (committing widescale atrocities) #(im aware this is literally just how mage organizations are in tamriel but the nords largely have a unique disdain for magic #so its funny tht the winterhold mages make no attempt to like. be more normal to gain the locals' trust. they truly do not care) #(and you know what? good for them. fuck them nords)

[mikocha]

fuck his stupid maximalist swag

#jrwi #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #just roll with it #jrwi chip #jrwi fanart #anyone remember in episode 105 when Chip got studded leather armour #and queen stiching things onto chips coat #cause i do. I Do. #dont ever ask me what his official design looks like I do Not know . i just make shit up at this point #mikochart

[anyataylorjoys]

seeing so many fellow creators' gifsets getting under 180 notes with an average reblog to like ratio of 1:3 is so disheartening. less and less people are putting out content cause it seems that no one cares anymore.

If you truly care about supporting creators at all, I encourage everyone to have a tracked tag in this economy whether you make content or not, you probably have mutuals who would love to share things with you and can't.

#also goes for creators who don't reblog much from other creators as stated recently in a post I saw everyone is part of the problem #and I feel like I tag the same 5 people all the time cause idk who to tag anymore so many people are inactive #many times I wish I could share things w ppl that I know they would like who aren't creators but they dont track a tag so 🤷🏻 #and just bc someone tags you doesnt mean you should feel obligated to reblog it. just puts things in your line of sight is all #I am once again asking u to share things w your followers (me) #BC MY DASH IS FUCKIN DEAD ALL THE TIME MAN

[cozylittleartblog]

hey. hey anon? youa re. so right,

#deltarune #rouxls kaard #queen #lancer #art #doodles #ask #anonymous #anon #comic #holds them up in my hands after not really drawing the m for a while 💙 #putting my clown makeup back on lads!! #cant remember if ive ever posted queen crying before. her whole eye mask thing drips like lancers does. for some reason #that seems like deltarunes brand of strange but whimsical #her tears are black and they do not stain they fade out like invisible ink but still singe a little bit #rouxls dont act like you didn't cry for four hours and eleven minutes when you got YOUR first 'i love you' from him. dont act like you d- #ok 2 tag shiiiiip u know i love me some blue dad club