#house pest saga

[solarpunkani]

Hot 4am take but I feel like if we want to get people more interested in making their yards a more habitable space for wildlife like insects, we have to acknowledge that ‘Don’t want bugs in your house’ is still a 100% fair and valid point of view. ‘Loves nature’ and ‘doesn’t want roaches spiders and mosquitoes in the house’ aren’t opposites.

And with that in mind, when we propose to people that spraying pesticides around houses is Not A Good Idea, Actually, I feel like we need to give an alternative asides from ‘deal with it.’

#solarpunk #anti pesticides #ani rambles #this is coming from personal opinion at 4am keep that in mind but like #I’m scared of roaches. i’m fine with them outside though #my parents dont like roaches and for good reason. they spray Ortho Home Defense along the veeery edge of the concrete by the doors to #keep roaches and shit from coming in because yknow. Florida. #if I tell them ‘hey actually we shouldn’t spray pesticides inside (ie raid spray) or outside (ie home defense) #theyre gonna ask wtf to do instead to prevent roaches #and if I tell them ‘nothing suck it up buttercup’ they’re gonna laugh and then double down on the sprays #we gotta have an alternative ready and honestly maybe I’m not looking in the right places but I genuinely don’t know of any #like one online friend told me leaving brush piles around the yard decreased the amount of bugs trying to come in but like #thats one person. anecdotal. and I haven’t seen anything online confirming that as a thing (yet) #idk man I’m going to bed. #might delete later #house pest saga

[graymarketblackdiamond]

a very quick doodle of my main charr, Taistel the Unforgiving, which got me thinking about her and her frozen heart, and how delighted i was to discover the frost legion for the first time

some ramblings underway (its a bit long. whoops!)...

taistel was the second character i ever made on gw2, and was my gateway into the charr themselves. she's a blood legion order of whispers combo, so she's a bloodthirsty warrior with the open nature of a stuck glue jar. i didn't dabble with the idea of her being ice themed until way later, but it seemed to fit her pretty well. the idea of her being like ice, cold and frigid and certainly deadly when you aren't careful around it. the cold is often described as fierce, and blizzards are unruly and unforgiving (much like her name!). it all tied in so well with her.

(an old image. i loved taking pictures of her in frostgorge)

the juxtaposition of her being a guardian sat very well in my head. guardians of course have means to protect, but she isn't protecting others by any means. her selfish, guarded and frankly quite nasty nature shined through all these little tidbits of storytelling that really just told themselves as i played the game. something clearly happened to her that really was so unforgiving that it twisted her deeply, her mentality driven to this state of being constantly on the attack (or in this case, on the defense. haha).

then HoT dropped, and i classed her into a DH, which i still can't quite let go of (im sure firebrand is better in some respects, but boy do i love smacking buttons and doing instant damage)

dragonhunter has a bit of a ring to it. in her story i had so far, she was friends with my main commander and his funny rat-tag group of friends in their in-canon guild known as Vagabond's Trek. now my commander is a sylvari dude, chipper guy who's a bit goofy. Taistel herself isn't easy to win over, but when faced with an idiot who dives into danger head first and comes back with trauma and a funny quip to go with it, it's hard not to want to see him a little safe. my hardened characters can have a soft spot as a treat.

so when the threat of mordremoth comes about... becoming a dragonhunter feels like a direct threat toward the threat itself. its like a command, a promise, a sworn seal of vengeance for corrupting (or, attemtping to corrupt) a friend. ice burns arent common, i dont think, but boy would she burn the jungle to its knees if it came to it. kill the pest and torch its house, so what if the pest is a dragon?

PoF brought its own issues and problems, of course, but man. the icebrood saga. mordremoth and kralk were easy to mash like mincemeat

but jormag would have been a real problem for her.

(i wish i had this permanent infusion in the game ): its so cool)

whipsers and promises of power and glory must be like gold candy for charr. whispers of protection for people you care for would have been exactly what taistel would have wanted to hear. nevermind that her friend had already nearly fallen to corruption, this was different, you see. for her whole life she knew that slithers of ice could cut the skin and make you bleed out, chunks of ice could bludgeon you and leave you concussed...

but jormag's ice could fortify and could protect. what a wonderful change of pace that would be, to go from this ferocious, deadly weapon to the protector she always could have been. an actual, true guardian, one that could live up to the name of the class she picked up as a young cub. well, it would have been perfect! it would have been the perfect path for her to follow. her vision of ideal couldn't have been colder, couldn't have been more perfect. the dragons claws were at her shoulders...

but of course, we all know how that eventually turns out for the other charr, like the unfortunate ryland. its a good job she had people to fall back on when it all fell apart. so much shame she would have felt after that. so many allies she had slain in the process, too. (the cache champs being charr you met along the way still pulls at my heart tbh...)

... but anyway, i just love how some of the stories in this game tell themselves. its easily why ive been playing it for so damn long.

#guild wars 2 #gw2 #charr #gw2 oc #doodles #art #taistel the unforgiving #its so nice to get these thoughts down #i love this game sooooooo much

[blametheeditor]

I just had this idea, wouldn’t the smell of the giants be amplified for the smalls? Everything else is amplified. David’s cologne would be overpowering to anyone unfortunate enough to be near him (he would wear it you can not change my mind). Like the bacteria that creates smell would be more/bigger to tinies than to the giants so in my peanut brain it makes sense! I understand if this makes you uncomfortable though as smell is… weird. Just an idea I wanted to share. Have a great day!

Anon, I have made an entire saga on your idea alone.

It just didn't want to work with me! So I made three separate stories, all about 2,000 long, and then I combined them together. I'm not lying when I say I want to write another one to tag onto it.

So I hope you feel validated! We will have peanut-sized brains together because I absolutely agree and love it! AND, I hope you have a great day as well!

Ignorance At Its Finest

Content Warnings: Cursing. Mentions of murder. Mentions of death. Treating people as lesser than. Unintentionally making someone scared. Being uncaring toward others. Being unsympathetic toward others.

It's all fun and game until Fritz claps back with the 'you smell like'

___________________________

David never thought him wearing cologne would ever be an issue.

Look, he’s a business man. He understands certain things are luxuries, knows the difference between needs and desires.

He’s also a very wealthy man who doesn’t need anyone telling him how to live his life.

Besides, out of everything he has, from the house that’s considered too big for only one person to live in, to the insanely expensive car that sits in his garage and is used once a year, he never thought something that costed a fourth of what one suit in his wardrobe does would make such a ruckus.

Yet here he is.

"Excuse me?”

“The cologne needs to go,” Vincent repeats as he continues to walk toward the door. Because this was stated at the very end of their first meeting, the purple man making it seem as if this is final.

“Hold on!” David exclaims, standing up to follow the other. “You can’t just say-!”

“I did.”

“-there’s no reason-”

“There is.”

“-you have no right-”

That’s when Vincent turns with a look of murder in his eyes. “Oh Davey, I have every right. Besides, it’s just cologne! You’re not going to die without it. The same can’t be said if you keep it, though!”

And that’s how David was left, staring open mouthed after the thing that criticized him for wearing cologne.

He ignores it. Because as much as Vincent terrifies him, it was an inconsequential thing. Honestly he’s unsure how the purple man even knew he was wearing it. Unlike high school boys, he knows how to properly wear it, not to mention it was only spritzed across his neck and not his wrists.

“Go wash your hands and face.”

David knew the name ‘Scott Cawthon’ didn’t belong to a fellow giant. As much as he loathed the idea of one of the lowly creatures technically in a position higher than himself, there wasn’t much he could do.

The only saving grace was the fact the man hadn’t been to his restaurant yet. Only phone calls demanding certain information as well as reviewing the documents that had a singular letter missing. Though it wasn’t certainly fun to realize the resident mutated grape favored the little pest. Meaning when he first hung up on Scott bitching at him, he got a lovely visit, and therefore has to keep himself from so much as accidentally ending the call before his supervisor was truly done.

Today was a special day, however. Apparently, wanting a human to get transferred to his restaurant required a personal visit from the voice over the phone. ‘Ensure the poor boy won’t get stepped on by an egotistical asshole of a giant’ was the exact quote.

When he first spotted the miniscule thing standing in his doorway, he wasn’t impressed. Unlike David as he sits at his desk with gelled hair and a full piece suit, Scott apparently thought appropriate work attire consists of a graphic t-shirt and shirts, his hair left to do as it pleases.

With the words acting as greeting, David’s pissed. “Would you like to repeat that?”

Scott doesn’t hesitate. “Go. Wash. Your. Hands. And. Face.”

“You little-”

“You want a human to come work for you,” the man snaps. “I’m the one who gets to approve or deny your request.”

David glares as it becomes clear Scott does in fact have power over him. And unlike Vincent, someone who should have it considering he stands only an inch shorter than the giant, it’s a human who couldn’t stop being squeezed in a fist or kicked by a shoe.

Yet here they are. Scott having the upper hand with his position in the company, and an extremely dangerous giant who’s at his beck and call.

“May I ask why?” David snarls.

“Your cologne. I know Vince brought it up on your first day.”

Goddamn it!

“What is with you dumbasses and cologne? It’s not like it’s hurting you.”

Scott goes silent. Looks him up and down. “David, out of everyone you could’ve requested to get transferred, why did you want a human?”

He’s not admitting that might’ve only crossed his mind to check once he saw the impressive notes regarding Fritz Smith.

You could’ve backed out.

And let someone waste potential like that?

You own a giant only restaurant. What could a little pest like him do for you?

…that’s a valid question.

“Is this an interrogation?”

“This is an interview. If you have adequate answers for a job description that is nigh-impossible for someone who stands no taller than the fingers of the customers who come here, then we can move onto what you’ll be doing to ensure his safety.”

“I need a face for the restaurant,” David begins with a scowl. “His profile states the animatronics are extremely respectful and mindful of him, some even say they ‘favor’ him. And considering the long list of being fantastic with customer service, glowing reviews, and coworkers stating how reliable he can be as well as the person to go to in any situation, he would be a valuable asset to have him assisting in customer relations while I focus on the business.”

Scott gives a look. “Is it safe to assume you want a secretary?”

Yes.

“My animatronics should be overseen by someone with experience. Considering the dark past Fazbear Corporation hired me specifically to eradicate.”

“God I hate business men.”

“Did I pass your test?” David sneers.

Scott wipes a tired hand over his face. Sighs because he knows the giant is right.

“David, I know this is hard to believe, but the world doesn’t revolve around you. Meaning Fritz will need safety precautions put in place-”

“I’m not an idiot, Scott.”

“-and giants realizing how much they affect humans. This includes your footsteps causing earthquakes, yelling capable of bursting our ear drums, and cologne being almost suffocating.”

David finds himself stopping himself midsentence as the last part registers. Because, of course, he never thought about nor cared how any of his actions effected their smaller counterparts. Not to mention he tries to avoid them all together.

“Aren’t you technically a mile away?”

“I can smell it from here.”

The business man immediately scoffed. “Bull-”

“I’m sure you get plenty of compliments on it, I was getting a nice warm smell with spice undertones when I was first entering the hallway. But standing here, I feel like I’m going to get knocked out from the earthy musk, and the flower doesn’t help mixed in with citrus and chocolate.”

David’s mouth drops for a second before he snaps it shut.

“No more cologne.”

. . .

Fritz is well aware David wears cologne.

When he was first getting transferred, Scott had approached him to ensure he was okay with changing restaurants. And not just the typical checking how far the commute will be and confirming his pay will stay the same or increase. No, the meeting was more in the direction of-

“Your boss will be an egotistical giant who thinks humans are nothing more than pests.”

Honestly, Fritz appreciated the sandy haired man warning him. Despite the older being a human himself, certain things are obvious when someone owns or works for a business that’s categorized as ‘giant only’. He might be a naïve teenager, but it’s impossible to completely avoid belittling comments and actions that every human receives at least once in their life.

Those who live in human only cities might not, but it’s guaranteed working at a restaurant that caters to both counterparts.

“It sounds…interesting.”

Scott had stared at him. “You’re seriously considering it.”

“Think of it this way,” Fritz grinned, held his hands out to physically stop the judgement. “On one hand he was definitely too prideful to back out again once he realized I was human. But if you didn’t immediately tell him no once meeting him, then it sounds like he’s willing to make some changes!”

“And turn you into a stress ball.”

The redhead tensed up at that. Paled at the thought that, if he agreed to it, then he’ll be completely at the whim of not just one giant, but an entire restaurant.

He knows there’s multiple reasons for people wanting to go to only businesses. Taking into account the fact they’re talking about a children’s restaurant, putting giants and humans together isn’t always the best idea. Kids get rowdy, don’t understand the moving action figure is actually a person, and it’s almost impossible to constantly stare at the ground while waiting tables.

Not every giant who works or goes there will treat him like a nuisance who shouldn’t be there.

But for those who do, would he feel comfortable knowing not even his boss cares if he’s safe or not?

“…what’s the updated job description?”

“Greeter,” Scott grunted, watched the surprised expression before he continued. “As well as animatronic watcher, coordinator, and on-hand assistant.”

“Like, on-hand-?”

“I can guarantee you will be grabbed randomly multiple times without being asked first, and not just by David. Your potential coworkers weren’t too happy about me being there. Not as much as your boss, but they won’t respect your preference on how to be picked up. Or if you’d want to be in a hand at all for that matter.”

Fritz looked down in thought. Nearly flinched at someone stepping outside the human hallway they walked in to speak privately.

Snapped his head up with something akin to panic. “Did they touch you-”

“No,” Scott stated gently. Smirked. “They know not to so much as look at me. I’m worried about you.”

Fritz hadn’t known where exactly the human blatantly worried for his safety has in the chain of command. Knew he was the person to go to when it came to hiring, finalizing reports for those who ‘quit’ or got fired, but even a lowly waiter knew the name ‘Scott Cawthon’ held respect and power behind it.

He didn’t have to ask the redhead. Could’ve denied David’s request for any number of reasons without even bringing it up to said employee. Or approved without a second thought and let the teenager get thrown into a circumstance without so much as a warning.

But he had gone to the restaurant. Berated the giant none too fond of those who stand no more than 3 inches tall.

Fritz didn’t want that to be for nothing.

“When can I start?”

Scott sighed. Ruffled his hair. Whacked him upside the head with a look that said ‘you’re an idiot’.

“Tomorrow. And heads up, he wears cologne.”

Fritz was actually confused why that had been a necessary add-on. He works around giants all day long, and never had that been brought up before. He’s noticed when customers and his coworkers come in wearing it, so it’s nothing notable.

He realized why on his first day at his ‘new’ job.

He wasn’t really paying attention at first. David hadn’t been at the door to greet him, instead waiting inside his office just like he had with Scott. Meaning Fritz was more focused on simply surviving the restaurant.

No one would open the door for him. It was Fritz vs. making the perfect timing behind a family while avoiding catastrophic shoes and a slow but very unhuman friendly door.

No one would look at him for more than one second, and even then it was only to sneer down at him. So he had to locate the elusive office himself.

No one would offer a hand either, meaning he was thoroughly terrified trying to get to the wall to travel in safety, forced to sprint as fast as possible and hope some kid didn’t stomp or grab him.

Once he reached the hallway toward the back of the restaurant, had gotten far enough from joyful screams of kids he could actually hear his own thoughts, that’s when he realized two things.

One, he made a terrible mistake agreeing to be transferred.

Two, he could smell something warm with a hint of a spiced undertone.

Fritz didn’t think much of it other than it being a weird second thought. He only continued to travel further into the hallway after spotting a sliver of light escaping from a doorway.

On the plus side, there weren’t any giants walking in and out of the hallway. He was able to take his time and let his racing heart slowly calm down.

But the closer he got, and admittedly worried that if that had been the greeting he received from his coworkers than how is his boss going to react, he couldn’t shake the smell from his thoughts.

It kept getting stronger. Nearly dizzying. He could pick out specific notes from floral, to ‘earthy’, to chocolate.

It hit him as soon as he knocked on the door barely open enough for a human to slip inside. Remembered Scott warning about David wearing cologne.

“I do believe you’re 5 minutes late.”

Fritz tensed up, allowing terror to clench his heart, truly afraid he might be crushed without a second thought. And of course, no one would care. No one would report a lowly human employee ‘disappearing’.

Scott would.

He took a deep breath, nearly choking on the overwhelming smell. “I’m sorry, sir. It won’t happen again.”

Since the beginning of the meeting, he hadn’t been looked at once. The giant suited man remained turned toward his computer, speaking without even looking at the teenager he wanted to hire. But finally hazel eyes much colder than Scott’s glanced over at him.

“Make sure you’re here ten minutes early tomorrow.”

You know, I wonder what I’d prefer. Death by a glare, or death by suffocation via perfume.

“Yes sir.”

Surprisingly, that was the end of it. No specific task to complete. No instructions on what his first day should have. Not even a tour. He was dismissed.

So Fritz did as Fritz’s do. He found the animatronics and immediately struck a deal of having a safe way of getting around the restaurant as well as back up if need be. The best part? He had a long list of bribes thought of on how to convince them to help, but apparently them interacting with a human was enough to bargain with.

And that was that. He had coworkers he could trust as much as possible because Lefty gets grabby when Orville’s around and a boss who ‘trusted’ him on knowing what to do.

He learned the flow of Fazbear Entertainment Center as well as the rules. It really boiled down to getting work done in a timely manner and never bug David. And that meant, if there’s a problem, you make someone ‘David’.

It used to be the day guard named Greg. Until Greg was faced with the issue that Lefty apparently couldn’t keep his paws off the arcade machines. Their boss said ‘take care of it’ and his giant coworker had no idea what to do.

Fritz knew he wasn’t turned to because they realized he didn’t just teleport from place to place. Knew his giant coworkers didn’t pay attention to who exactly swept him off the counter. With the smug look given before a singsong ‘Red!’ it’s safe to say they thought this would be the thing to get him fired.

It’s a right of passage being ‘David’. Fail, and you’re fired without hesitation. Pass, and you get to keep your job.

“Hey Lefty? What if we challenged each other’s high score on the game you choose. I win, you promise to only play before we open and after we close.”

“I win, and I get to challenge you once a day whenever I want.”

Fritz won. Unlike the bear, his other coworkers thought he was delusional for one, trying to bargain with Lefty, and two, think he could play a machine meant only for giants. As if there’s no fancy electronics that can be plugged into any game and allow him to play normally. And if they cared about his safety, they would’ve realized long ago all of the animatronics not only helped him, but respected him with the things he did to make their day better.

Of course, that problem was an easy fix in his eyes.

The issue was that he became ‘David’.

Sometimes it was about the animatronics fighting. Others it was about his coworkers. But a large portion/ was calming angry customers.

He’ll admit, it was draining. But it earned him a lot of respect being able to navigate the best solution for an upset mother or Greg angry at Lefty for hiding his things.

He loves the bear, but the bear is the bane of his existence.

The thing is, with being ‘David’, the true David Harrison took notice.

“Fritz.”

The redhead had to force himself not to jump at the semi-familiar voice he only distantly heard. Because why would the business man waste his time on lowly employees, especially the one human he hired.

Which was fine with Fritz! He didn’t want to be constantly berated with comments of ‘pest’ or looks of hatred or be terrified he’ll get grabbed in a fist and squeezed as if he’s some kind of living stress ball-

“Yes sir?”

“Are you able to join me in my office?”

I don’t have a choice, do I?

“Of course!”

He should’ve expected it. He was standing on the counter for the register. Near the edge because, with how many times his coworkers both giant and animatronics alike grab him, it makes it easier for everyone to just pluck him from his work.

It scared him with the speed David grabbed him. And then he was overwhelmed by the suffocating smell of vanilla/earth/flower.

He couldn’t breathe. And being held in a tighter fist than most giants didn’t help either.

By the time they got to the office, Fritz simply freed onto the desk to catch himself from falling on his face, he felt light-headed.

It’s a miracle he hadn’t tripped and fell. Not with how he stumbled a few times before standing with his legs apart, hands held straight on either side, the world seeming to spin, and with each deep breath he took he was only slapped with yet another wave of the cologne.

David stared at him with an unamused look. “What are you doing?”

Fritz panted, trying to breathe without perfume tainting the air, coughing as it just seems to be everywhere. “C-Cologne.”

He received a blank stare. And knowing Scott being as thoughtful as he was, he’s sure the eldest guard had made a comment about it.

It looks like he’ll just have to get used to it.

. . .

David realizes he is the only one who doesn’t realize how much his actions effect humans.

He’ll admit, he’s egotistical. And despite the fact he’s a giant and therefore should be knowledge of how his actions effect those no taller than 3 inches less tall, he doesn’t take the time to be self-aware concerning the smaller counterparts until he’s addressed and told he needs to change a few habits.

It happened when he didn’t watch the ground as he walked, something Vincent had to physically yank him back from possibly stepping on Scott.

It happened when he didn’t realize he turns whatever he’s holding into a stress ball, James seemingly appearing to save Fritz with the redhead too panicked to speak.

It happened when he allowed himself to forget he had a human in his pocket, Mike promising to kick his ass if he ever forgot about a Jerber, and by extension, Irish Jig, Egged Jackass, Hell Spawn, or Phone Guy ever again.

David trusts the others to tell him when he needs to pay more attention, or change something in his routine. Not because he truly trusts them, but because he has much better things to do than realize what the humans he interacts with need.

The only problem is, while the other giants are more self-aware and therefore will watch and teach him how to ensure no one gets severely injured by his hands, they don’t know everything. And if one of his human ‘coworkers’ ever brought up something to him, he would’ve forgotten about it in seconds.

That’s what he believed happened with his cologne. Because Vincent doesn’t count when it came to his first week of meeting the mutated grape.

The only time David remembers anyone bringing up his cologne was during a birthday party at what’s considered Fazbear Entertainment’s ‘first location’. Considering Mike’s the night guard, he’s usually asked to assist the day guard to ensure everyone is safe. Especially due to the restaurant being a mixed one for humans and giants alike, a large party can become concerning.

The only problem was Mike getting sick and needing to stay home.

If this had been before multiple locations being shut down and needing to turn a new leaf less the entire franchise is shut down for good, any human would’ve been asked. Meaning Jeremy would’ve been contacted, though most likely Scott being forced to take his place.

But this was after. So to keep up the good name David bent over backwards to accomplish, a giant had to be found.

Vincent was an obvious no. James apparently had classes to attend.

That’s why David of all people got summoned.

“You do realize I’m a restaurant owner,” he growled down at Scott. Who, surprisingly, hadn’t looked smug in the slightest seeing him at Mike’s location instead of his own. More just looked tired.

He hated it more that Fritz, Eggs, and Scott had been told to come as well. But apparently three humans working together can’t replace an actual giant.

“David, I might be your supervisor, but Afton had to approve someone ‘unqualified’ to take role of a day guard.”

“No one’s qualified.”

“That’s why I put air quotes around it. Just watch for any humans getting grabbed. Mike can do it, so it can’t be that hard.”

David knew what the bastard was doing, comparing him to Mike of all people. But it worked, and he fell silent. Obediently watched the running kids. Upset with himself he had forgotten to bring earplugs considering he can’t duck into his office once a headache began to form.

Realized with a start Fritz had seemingly disappeared from the human area.

In the back of his mind, he knew the redhead at worked at that location previous to being transferred. He also was aware that, despite Mike being Mike, their lead guard knew how to protect both humans and giants alike. Was arguably the best for keeping track and stopping some brat from snatching someone up before it happened.

David doesn’t really watch his only human employee in the giant only restaurant he owns. He both loathes and appreciates the comparison, but he is a bit like Afton in the way Scott is protected purely by name and association across all locations. Everyone who comes into Fazbear Entertainment Center knows Fritz is his human that is never to be touched.

But unlike Afton, no one at Freddy Fazbear’s know the redhead is his. Not when he’s only stopped at the location previously to draft plans on better improving the reputation past the ‘rumors’ of murder and missing night guards.

David cursed before quickly leaving his post, eyes scanning across tables in the hopes of spotting a living action figure having been abandoned. He moved onto searching the floor, wanting to not think about any human attempting to dodge and hide from giants unknowing and uncaring if the smaller counterparts ended up underfoot.

While his search was methodical, he didn’t see a single glimpse of a human. No miniscule flame of-

“HARRISON!”

David froze. Turned toward where he could’ve sworn he heard “Eggs?”

“TABLE! PARTY HAT!”

The business man hadn’t known what he was expecting, but it certainly hadn’t been the human mechanic breathing in relief when a cheap purple and red hat was lifted up to free him. Yet there he was, and David had no choice but to offer a hand that was immediately leapt onto.

Despite the fact Fritz was still missing, he took a moment to look at the chosen item to keep Eggs trapped. “Were you yelling my name the entire time?”

“If you ever became a human 101,” the blond began, slumped into the curled fingers cupped protectively against the giant’s chest. “Don’t ever make a sound until you know a trusted giant is around.”

“How the hell did you know it was me?”

“Dude, I can smell you from a mile away. We need to get Fritz from Freddy, though.”

The idea of Eggs apparently smelling him left his mind the second the human he specifically went looking for was brought up. “Freddy as in…”

Eggs gave him a look like he was losing it. “Fazbear? How many Freddy’s do you know!”

David rolled his eyes. Dropped the blond into his suit pocket. Made his way over to the animatronics locked on stage. “How would I immediately assume Freddy Fazbear had him.”

“Because despite that fact he’s your employee,” said bear begun with a growl, David left frozen at the hostile tone. “You allowed someone to grab him right in front of you.”

“Have anything to say for yourself, David?” Chica added, looking smug as hell.

David. Demeaning and angry attitudes. He had forgotten not all locations were like his animatronics, programmed to address everyone formally by last name and be nothing more than passive aggressive.

“It’s busy,” the giant bristled. “And I realized he was missing and went looking for him. Now hand him over.”

Freddy’s ears flicked unhappily, but his paw offered the redhead as Bonnie snipped “Shit wouldn’t have let either of them get swiped.”

“Well I’m not Mike. Your fucked up night guard will be back by tonight.”

The animatronics didn’t say anything else as he walked away. Or maybe they had, and he was too focused on checking Fritz over for injuries.

“Mr. Harrison, I’m fine,” told him the human had been more shaken up than he let on, voice wavered and hands shook as his prodding fingers were shoved away. “Thank you for finding us.”

“Thanks for trapping me in a pocket, bitch!”

Scott agreed to forcing the two to have a time out once they were put where they belonged. It wasn’t able to be long, not with the party still scheduled for another hour, but David didn’t let any of the three out of his sight after that.

That’s what lands them to now, with him frozen at the door after walking in for their weekly get-together after Eggs called over to him.

“Harrison, is that a new perfume?”

David mentally stumbles over his words until he finally manages a few. “You can smell it from there?”

He can barely see where the blond stands on a table several feet away. He’d be impressed if he wasn’t unnerved and hoping it was guessed purely to try and get inside his head.

He can’t even confirm the miniscule head is tilting in confusion. “Uh, yeah?”

No fucking way.

“No you can’t.”

“Still an earthy smell like your other one,” Scott joins in, freezing David in his tracks once again. “There’s a really small hint of vanilla instead of chocolate. Vince would be the one who can name the flower if he was here tonight, but that’s different too.”

How in the hell-

“Please tell me it’s not on your wrists,” Fritz pipes up if a bit tiredly.

“What’s that supposed to mean!”

At the sound of him being almost distraught, everyone at the table looks over at him, the humans exchanging looks.

“David,” Scott probes. His gentle tone encourages the giant to finally walk the last stretch to the table. “Do you realize just how much your cologne affects us?”

“No.”

“Vince told me he addressed it with you on your first day,” the human deadpans.

David can believe that. He’s also aware of how much the purple man is a bitch.

“I had also made a comment…” Eggs prods.

Yes. Though it was small. And again, he can’t trust the blond for shit.

Scott face palms as frustration slowly appears. “I also told you when we first met.”

Now David does not remember that in the slightest.

The business man looks the information over in his head. Turns it this way and that. Comes to the conclusion the humans in their group including Fritz are being dramatic. Though it’s hard to explain knowing the key notes to his newest cologne, Eggs could’ve found out and did reckon before tonight just to mess with him.

Despite being silent before, James straightens up. “So, much like how our voices are loud even when we’re whispering, smells act in the same way.”

David doesn’t miss Fritz glancing between him and the horror guard. “Right. When giants wear cologne or perfume, it’s pretty potent. Sometimes gets a little overwhelming, especially around the wrists if we’re picked up.”

“Then it might be a good idea we’re conscious of not wearing too much. Never on the wrists.”

David knows what James was doing. This is how he explained humans shouldn’t be treated like a stress ball at least unknowingly, a calm and specific explanation so it’s easy to understand.

Of course, it works. He’ll change his habits concerning putting cologne on before leaving the house. “You’ll just have to deal with it tonight.”

“Because James said something,” Scott snaps.

“Be happy I'm listening at all.”

“Because you never do!” the eldest guard exclaims, standing up as he begins to gesture. “I guarantee Fritz brought up not being able to breathe at least three times before giving up. I did bring it up and proved it when we first met, but you didn’t bother to even remember. Eggs constantly patronizes you with comments regarding it. But you don’t listen until a God damned giant tells you!”

Well I can trust a giant’s judgement, I can’t trust a human’s.

David nearly says it. And then he sees Fritz’s expression like he’d been betrayed.

“I…hadn’t realized,” the giant says carefully.

Scott narrows his eyes. Eggs makes a motion that says ‘bullshit’.

“In the future,” David sighs. “I will try to listen better.”

“Bet $50 it’ll last a week at the most.”

“$100 it’s two,” the business man immediately fires back at the smug looking blond.

“I’ll give it a day,” Scott snarls.

#thank you anon! #i am so sorry for how long it took #just would not want to be finished #but we did it HAHA #thank you for being so considerate ^^ #but there ain't really anything I won't enjoy writing #and besides that's DEFINITELY something Fritz would clap back with #“You taste like Starbursts” #“You smell like chocolate on fire” #it's cannon David wears cologne now #g/t #giant #tiny #FNAF bois #Ignorance At Its Finest #BTE writing #answer #cw #content warning

[confused-robot-cat]

The Acceptance of Violence in the Wizarding World

I haven't played Hogwarts Legacy, but I've heard a lot of people talk about how nonchalantly the player character murders people in increasingly fucked up ways, and nobody in-universe seems to give much of a crap. I'd like to explain why that might be perfectly in line with the way the wizarding world works.

So! From an early age, witches and wizards are likely exposed to a something that may negatively affect their sense of empathy. Paintings. Paintings are like some Who Framed Roger Rabbit shit, animated characters complete with personalities able to interact with the real world. If Walt Disney had been a wizard, they'd have cinemas by now.  Paintings and even photographs in the wizarding world move around within their frame, and some can even travel beyond. They can speak, they can react emotionally, and can even be trained to mimic the person depicted like training an AI to pretend to be a dead celebrity. The magical community learns early on that no matter how convincing a depiction of a person is, they're not alive. So things that look like humans aren't necessarily sentient or sapient.

But pictures are just one thing, right? That's not much of a connection to real living things. Well, let me introduce you to a lovely book written by Newt Scamander. That's right, it's Fantastic Beasts time! The movie series that would have been much improved if David Yates hadn't cut all those important scenes because when you read the screenplay they're ten times better than the Harry Potter movies ever were and the decision not to continue the five part saga is grounds for a terror attack on WB studios. Wait, what were we talking about? Oh yeah. Animals.

  The wizarding world is full of creatures that look like humans to some degree! And I don't just mean vampires and centaurs. Gnomes are pests in the wizarding world. Imagine walking out into your back garden and there's a bunch of tiny naked fat men running around shitting on your lawn and gnawing on your house's foundations. They're a serious pest in the wizarding world, and while they appear humanoid and can even speak, they're non-sapient and it's perfectly legal to get rid of them by setting loose a magic talking weasel on them. Then you can take a photo of the weasel devouring your tiny man-pests and hang it on the wall to replay the event for all eternity. The weasel is, of course, also non-sapient despite its power of speech.

  There are also Doxies, tiny naked people with extra limbs and wings that hide in your curtains and bite you with venomous fangs. They and fairies both have developed languages, and both can be killed with insecticide if you want to get rid of them because they're considered non-sapient and have no rights either. Pogrebins, ogres, trolls, erklings... So then, why is it so strange for wizards to just accept House Elf slaves? Their bigotry against goblins, centaurs, and mermaids definitely doesn't seem all that strange for the world in which they live.

Finally, I'd like to talk about Conjuration. Wizards and witches can wave their wands around and poof an animal into existence. A whole fucking animal. Now, if one reads Miranda Goshawk's Book of Spells, they'll find that conjured animals aren't real and will fade away after a while. This amount of time is indeterminate. Some can last until the caster them self passes away. But they look so real!

Ultimately, wizards and witches are surrounded by things that look like them, sound like them, and act like them but aren't even sapient. They're also surrounded by things that appear alive but that life is a matter of illusion. Indeed, even otherwise inanimate objects can appear to develop personalities over time (see: Arthur Weasley's Ford Anglia). But they're not alive. In a world like this, the magical community can easily become detached and lose a sense of value for life, because so often life turns out to be nothing more than an illusion. So when 20th century wizards are happily throwing around buzz-saw flying discs that can take people's fingers off, it's not too surprising that 18th century wizards might turn each other into barrels of gunpowder and yeet them into a crowd.

#harry potter #hogwarts legacy #wizarding world

[doodle-dog-diary]

The wingfeather saga book one: dark darkness of darkness was a book that stressed me out: a List

Stop blaming Janner every time his siblings do something stupid and get themselves in trouble?? For fucks sake they're not toddlers THEY should learn to maybe NOT act stupid? My god I feel so sorry for the poor kid I hope he tells them all to go fuck themselves and fucks off somewhere to go be his own person

Tink is just lowkey annoying and not even funny. NEXT

If I found any pests in my garden I'd be gladly hurling them over a cliff to certain death, (you have never lived through hell until geckos shit all over your fucking house, birds come to steal your garbage and scope out your house like they're going to rob you, and ants get in your water WHILE YOU'RE STILL ACTIVELY DRINKING FROM IT) Leeli can go fuck herself

Also Leeli is a stupid ass name. It's the exact same fucking name I used in sentence writing exercises when I was like. Fucking seven

STOP BRINGING YOUR FUCKING DOG EVERYWHERE IF YOU DON'T HAVE A WAY TO CONTROL IT ITS GOING TO BITE ANOTHER LIZARD PERSON AND THEN YOU'LL GET JAILED AGAIN YOU STUPID

Peet mcsockguy has the same vaguely fuckable blorbo guy vibes as Bruno from Encanto

The grandpa is also fucking annoying

There is a DIFFERENCE between being brave and JUST DOWNRIGHT STUPID!! When the enemy outnumbers you AND has your family hostage AND is armed and you deliberately provoke them, it's called being STUPID!!

I hope their grandpa dies

I feel like in fiction a lot of the time this kind of loud blustery bravery is like disproportionately glorified? As if being LOUD and OUT THERE and IN YOUR FACE is the only good, honorable way to be. I don't like it. Sometimes bravery is keeping your head down until the right time comes to strike. Sometimes bravery is struggling along in a difficult world in your own little way

They keep getting captured, then saved by pete sockguy, then captured again and saved again and it's tedious to read through. I wish they'd just get captured and executed and be done with it

The author keeps doing this thing where some character dies/nearly dies and then oh look...they didn't really die after all...and I don't like it. If they die, they should DIE and stay dead. I don't think that's a lot to ask for

I did not like the "ooh look how DISGUSTING the evil bad guys are even the food they eat is GROSS AND YUCKY bleargh" thing...like..."this is a race of evil people who are all evil, they're gross and their food is gross" feels...uh... look, fish innards actually sounds pretty good to me, OKAY? And I'm sick and tired of white people acting like every meat tastes like chicken, and every food that is a little bit foreign to them is like eating garbage, and people who eat food they think is weird are also weird. I know the author probably didn't mean for it to come across that way, but like try eating some pork intestines and then maybe you'll be normal someday

(^ when I was like 8 I found a book titled something along the lines of GROSS FOODS FROM AROUND THE WORLD and I was like "oh SICK can't wait to learn what kind of manmade horrors people are eating around the world" but then it was just. Normal Stuff. Like chicken feet. Innards. Various fermented foods. And for each entry the author gave it a rating on the fuckin vomit-o-meter or something like that. And I think I never really got over that. And now every time youtube recommends me a video of someone gagging over durian it feels like a hate crime)

#the wingfeather saga #idk maybe i just like complaining about things #i feel like in order for me to like a certain character they have to do something that is funny #like ACTUALLY funny not the author intended it to be funny but it just comes across as annoying #characters should be ENTERTAINING and i stand by that #its hard to get through a book when you don’t really like the characters #also DURIAN IS GOOD INTESTINES ARE GOOD AND FEET TASTE YUMMY YALL JUST HAVE NO TASTE

[techstartro]

#Festival #SAGA

[timeisacephalopod]

My landlord saga continues but this time he didn't decide to gas my house out the pest guys are just gunna do traps and like sure do whatever you want as long as I don't have to remove my damn cats for 6 hours every five minutes.

Low-key wish Id have taken the offer to move sooner but I'm fine with moving for June, and I'll tell ya it can't fuckin come fast enough

#winters ramblings #i think he got the point that i wasnt about to give into his shit amd relented #which for his own sake lets hope that continues because hes not going to like me much if i have to chew his ass AGAIN

[tmisaccidentreportbook]

MAG016, Arachnophobia

Case #0150409, Carlos Vittery Release date: May 2, 2016 First listen: 15th October. On the morning feed route still, was round on the loop way at this stage, with the white head ducks.

I think, once upon a time, I was scared of spiders. At a level I think most folks are, feed by all the child friendly spooky stories and the fact that they as such alien little beings. But I’ve worked the vast majority of my career life outside and when I’m not outside, I’m in sheds or outbuildings or barns or store rooms or stables. Spiders get everywhere and I can’t blame the funky little guys. I’m grateful for the service they provide in pest management and appreciate it when they stay in my line of sight and keep moving all steady and sedate like. But even when they scuttle off at a rate of knots, I’ve gotten over it. But The Web still fucks me up, it’s just that it’s not the spiders. It fucks me up in a very similar way that The Lonely does to be fair.

But this guy, this guy’s got a fear that feels like we’re veering into ‘impacting quality of life’ territory. I don’t really like how a fear of spiders is often played for cheap laughs or is used to make the frightened character seem foolish and weak, Ron Weasley in Harry Potter is one that’s coming to mind and it was even worse in the movies. But to be honest, Ron’s portrayal in the movies was a total character assassination.

But, having been overexposed to creepy crawlies for a long time, and often having to be ‘the brave one’ in a situation involving them, I’ll confess to having a hard time connecting with Mr Vittery’s plight with this aspect of The Web.

- ‘It’s not the sight of a spider that gets me … It’s the presence of a spider.’ I can sort of understand that weird little nuance to a fear. I’ve got one when it comes to taxidermy. I’ve got several pieces of taxidermy, a favourite being a female barn owl that I actually picked up off the road on. Anyway, taxidermy and preserved skeletons, I have no issues with. You start putting multiple specimens in one big case, I’ll get a little twitchy. You put anything from aquatic mega fauna in there and I am averting my eyes and walking the long way around, fuck that noise.

- I have to say, moving from your house to a flat in London to avoid spiders… It’s a lot of effort, so that should give an indication of how serious this guy is. As someone who’s moved house in the recent past, it’s gonna have to be a bloody big spider to convince me I need to move again.

- ‘…spun their filth just a wall away?’ … bit strong mate. Bit strong. Spider webs have been used for wound dressings since the first century C.E. Ever gets mentioned in Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream, as Bottom says when introduced to the fairy Cobweb, ‘If I cut my finger, I shall make bold of you.’ Studies are still being done to examine the extent of the antifungal and antimicrobial properties of spider silk, as well as their viability as vitamin K rich coagulating agents.

- ‘I could not unknow how many were there.’ Well, if The Eye was going to get picky about it, you don’t really know how many were there, you just surmised it was ‘a lot’.

- ‘Renting in London moves very quickly.’ I hear this and I can hear the pain and struggle of every member of Rusty Quill. I also can’t help but think of poor Alex and the saga of the asbestos flat and the amount of stress that piled onto his life. I’m trying to work out the timeline of when that was all happening but short of listening to the start of every episode of Rusty Quill Gaming until I hit the one with the announcement, I’m coming blank.

- Archway, isn’t that where Harriet of MAG006 Squirm lived? And where she was attacked by Jane Prentiss?

- Ah, the introduction of Major Tom. A military man I see, and Jonny persists with his excellent naming convention of cats; ranks, appellations and puns. I’m not personally a cat person, prefer dogs, but I can appreciate.

- ‘This is all a lot of superfluous information-’ No information pertaining to cats is superfluous.

- We get the time frame of Mr Vittery seeing the spider ‘about three months ago’ from the date of the statement, given 9th April 2015. So The Web starts getting bold here at the very start of 2015. If my numbers are correct, and Gertrude was killed around 22nd March 2015, this statement either came in between archivists, or came in very early in the Archivist’s tenure.

- ‘(The) building had acquired something of an infestation (of worms)’ Prentiss! *shakes fist* Actually, if there’d been a few spiders ‘that month’, Prentiss could have been lying in wait for over a year… Harriet was attack around 17th November 2014 and Prentiss lay siege to Martin’s flat from the end of February 2016. What had she been doing in the meantime, besides grossing up the basement of the building Mr Vittery was renting in?

- Also, I this a The Web vs The Corruption smack down or a team up? Their methods overlap a little and the ‘love and looking for love’ aspects of The Corruption could be as compelling to someone’s actions as the machinations of The Web. But I don’t think I could imagine Annabelle Cane baring to be in the presence of Jane Prentiss for it long enough to work, The Flesh Hive just doesn’t have any style.

- ‘...but I would have sworn that this one hated me back.’ Well, to be fair. you have been being very rude about spiders.

- I love the fact that Major Tom ‘didn’t seem hurt or upset’ by the manifestation of The Web. I mean, cats are old gods too in their own right. They’ve been manipulating humanity for millennia in ways The Web can only admire.

- I know green is more the colour palette of the Magnus Institute, but I liked the nod to the Institute’s emblem. Actually, speaking of colour palettes, I remember there was a bit of a joke going around Tumblr about being able to tell which podcast’s fanart you were looking at by the colour of the disembodied eyes present.

Green – The Magnus Archives

Purple – Welcome To Night Vale

White – The Adventure Zone: Balance Arc

- ‘I used to work-’, wait. Has all this made you quit work?

- The presence of the spider feels very ‘Terminator’, to me. Keeps coming back, very persistent.

- ‘...it felt almost involuntary, as though some something were lifting me, hoisting me ... by unseen strings.’ OK, this is the part of The Web that fucks me up. The whole ‘Mother Of Puppets’ schtick, the robbing of autonomy, the manipulation of decisions and choice. I’ve just been casually gaslit too much in my life to not have it make my teeth grind.

- Major Tom peacing on out with only a parting look ‘of pity’. The animals know man. They know.

- ‘Sometimes there would be horses.’ New forest ponies?!

- Ooof that childhood trauma. I think I’m lucky, I don’t have a stand out event that I can point to and say ‘that, that scarred me’. I think mine was a more ‘background radiation’ type of thing that’s led to today’s levels of fucked up.

- ‘Can you be haunted by the ghost of a spider that destroyed your childhood?’ *thinks about a guest for spider and sweats*.

- Is this the first confirmed death of a statement giver we get? We assume Lee Rentoul of MAG014 goes to pieces even if we never his death confirmed and whatever happened to the sister of the statement giver of MAG015, she doesn’t appear to be above ground. Is this the first confirmed death we get?

Supplemental: How could I forget Trevor Herbert of MAG010, our first ‘confirmed’ death, and he ‘passed away’ right there in the Institute building. Why yes, I am put quote marks around all that, why do you ask?

- ‘...his body was completely encased in web.’ I’m sure that happened in the Doctor Who episode Arachnids in the UK, sure it’s fine. If it happened in Sheffield, it can happen in London. Just need to play Stormzy at them.

#the magnus archives #MAG016 #The Web

[lunewell]

The Lunewell Saga - Natura: Ch 3

Chapter 1 here

Chapter 2 here

Can also be read on ao3 (:

Book Sumary:

Zarifa Birch, an antique shop worker with an unusual past, has made a home for herself in the sleepy town of Lunewell. Though the shop she works at is not exactly ordinary, with cryptid items and odd occurrences, she has managed to carve the normal life she always desperately wished for out of it.

However, all that comes crumbling down, as a woman from Zarifa’s past throws everything into chaos. Faced with unimaginable horrors, seemingly unsolvable mysteries, and returning repressed feelings and memories, Zarifa along with her coworkers, must find a way to return the balance- and escape the cruel hands of death in this eldritch horror mystery

As always, he had not been himself in the night. He had been an old man, holding a rather nice-smelling bag, walking through the forest towards… something. Something he cared about.

His thoughts were not quite his own, but not the man's either; more a drowsy sort of mish-mash of voices, a bit like falling asleep in the middle of a bustling city. However, none of it really mattered, as he very much felt, smelled, and lived in the forest, above the crunchy leaves and around the warm scent. So hard to place. It was familiar, and yet, the exact detail of it had faded out.

He could hear his own voice, humming. It did not sound like his voice, not really, but it felt like his own, and that was enough for it to be his own. The vibrations travelled through his chest as he burst out in melodic sounds. He was humming a workers’ song, one that someone in his family had sung. Again, the details were blurry, like there was a block in his brain.

The forest was calm, basking in a sunny glow. Autumn leaves decked the ground, and the trees looked familiar. There was a comfort in this place, a home in the scent of mud and moss, and one that he cherished happily.

The trees, though originally quiet to his senses, rustled softly in a pleasant way. The wind must’ve been extra strong, he must’ve just not noticed it through the thick shield of stems.

The trees rustled once more, and felt a beat against the soles of his feet. It was slight, barely noticeable, but it got him to tilt his stiff, aged, neck downwards, if even just for a second.

It was then that it truly happened.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the trees curving, but he didn’t have any time to process as he was slammed down to the ground by a vine sprouting from the ground. A crack wrecked through his body, not unlike the sound a carrot makes when snapping, and he, in what simultaneously was and wasn’t his voice, howled in pain. His leg, already weak to begin with, felt as though it had been ripped in two, and he could clearly see red blood leaking from where the knee was bent at an unnatural angle. Fire coursed through his nerves, burning from his leg to his spine. The pain was so mind-numbing that he didn’t notice the much pointier vine heading right for him until it was too late.

As though it was sentient, a throned vine plunged at him, and punctured right into his stomach. It sliced all the way through him, as though his body was not but soft butter, before pulling out in an equally swift motion and landing him limp on the ground.

There was no pain, even as thorns began to wrap around and puncture every millimeter of skin, only numbness. Numbness from pain that could not be described in the English language. Numbness that no one alive had ever felt. Numbness that acted as a relenting defeat against his continuous fight for any hope of life.

And as he lay there, hands bloodstained, stomach gaping, and so incredibly empty, he feared. Feared for his wife, feared for his unachieved goals, feared for what was coming next. Even this fear, however, held a tragic sort of air to it, as it was dulled down by unrelenting numbness.

The numbness faded, along with all thoughts, as white, hot, pain came crashing down like a hammer. He let out one last pitiful, agony filled screech - for a scream was much too human to cover the sound - muffled by the thorns that had stuck themselves into his lips, before everything went black in what was truly the kindest mercy. ————————————————

Bruin awoke with a gasp, clutching his stomach. His eyes darted around his barren room, pulse racing at an olympic level under his skin. With a weak breath - still clutching his stomach with an iron grip - he closed his eyes, and repeated his mantra; You’re Bruin Becker, you’re not them, you’re safe.

The phrase played over and over again in his mind as his vision slowly morphed from a blur of panic, to the usual, groggy morning one. Taking a more stable breath, he slowly let go of his stomach. He couldn’t resist scanning his hands for blood, though he knew there was none.

Once he was sure his hands were clean, he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, and watched the world come to life. The white desk and closet popped from the midnight blue walls, the sheets on his bed clear as glass. He glanced at his face in the mirror, and was not surprised at what he saw; deep, dark bags under his slender eyes, porcupine-like hair, and a thin sheet of sweat that lined his forehead.

He collapsed back into his bed with a tired sigh, wanting nothing more than to ignore the clock that was taunting him with the ridiculous hour he had awoken. He would probably do that. Go back to blissful sleep, that is. He doubted he even had gotten an ounce of it because of his stupid… nightmares? Visions? Whatever they were.

He closed his eyes, relaxing back into his bed, mind so far gone and forgetting one quintessentially, very, important thing. A thing he was oh-so-kindly reminded of by what could have only been described as the sound of every single plate in the house shattering at once.

With an almost inhuman speed, Bruin threw the cover from his bed, and darted to the room next door. He adjusted his hair along the way in a frantic motion, pulse having quickened yet again at the commotion. He braked as he reached the kitchen doorway, looking at the source of the sound.

On the grey tiles sat a dazed Grant, covered head to toe in flour, shards of ceramic plates scattered around him like a bomb had just gone off. Grant looked sheepishly at Bruin, blue eyes just as bagged as his own. “Uhh… good morning?”

Bruin couldn’t help the look of absolute disappointment that rolled over his face. “How did you manage to - never mind. I don’t want to know,” he said, exasperated, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Well, if you must know,” Grant began, ignoring Bruin’s statement, “I was trying to make pancakes. Keyword there being trying.” He got up and tried dusting off the flour powdered on him like snow, but gave up almost immediately. “It was a shame really. I make lovely pancakes. It’s the only good thing about living with me, according to my dearest exes.”

“I’m surprised they listed any good things about living with you,” Bruin mumbled, before joining Grant to pick up the last pieces of the plates.

Though he would never admit it, Grant had been a blessing in disguise. When he first rented the little cottage in Lunewell, he had accepted that his co-worker would be an annoying, messy, music-box obsessed pest in the house that he would hopefully have to deal with as little as humanly possible.

Yet, almost like a mold, he had to admit that Grant had grown on him. Sure, he still couldn’t stand the messiness, and he swore that every time he turned a corner he saw another damn music-box, but those were things he had learned to forgive over the years.

“What possessed you to make pancakes?” Bruin questioned as they threw the last pieces in the trash.

Grant quieted, biting his lip.“They’re great comfort food,” he said slowly, as if testing out the words.

Bruin tensed, suddenly hyper aware of the rumbling in his stomach. “Oh,” he said quietly, after minutes of silence, “did you have a bad night’s sleep?” The question was pointless, but Bruin felt the need to ask it anyway. If only to take away from the barking that had begun playing in his ears.

“Yeah,” Grant responded, eyeing him, “I was up working on fixing an antique box, planning to go to bed, but I think someone was begging for their life outside, which wasn’t a very nice sound to fall asleep too.”

It was an invitation, one which he pondered for a while, before finally giving his response; “I wouldn't imagine so, no.”

He looked away as Grant's ocean blue eyes filled with pity, something that hurt him as much as any gun wound. “Hey, I… uh,” Grant began, no longer looking at him, “don’t feel obligated to answer this, but, are they getting worse?”

“You should probably go and get changed. I’ll make some breakfast for us. We still have a while before work.”

Grant, bless his heart, didn’t push. Instead, he simply nodded, vanishing the sad look from his eyes. He was halfway out the door, when he turned around with a snap; “that’s what I was forgetting to tell you!” he said, “Zarifa called earlier, she wants us to come in early.”

“Really? That’s unusual.”

“My thoughts exactly. I didn’t ever find out why though, she remained all vague. Sounded a bit panicked, if I’m honest.”

Bruin nodded. “We’ll head out after you and I get changed then. I’m not really in the mood for breakfast anyway.”

“Aye aye, Bruiny,” Grant said with a mock salute, before slipping out the door and presumably into his bedroom. Bruin did the same, taking one last glance around the rustic kitchen before walking towards his own room with a newfound haste. Zarifa had always been more than lenient with the times they showed and left work, especially once she realised both Grant and Bruin had abysmal sleep quality and patterns, so something like this was not only highly unusual, but equally concerning.

He just hoped nothing too terrible had happened. ——————————————

The walk to the Office was a beautiful one, especially this time of year. They were both bundled in hats and scarves that Grant had insisted on, as golden yellows and flaming hues passed and fell around them. For all the flack they could both give Lunewell - a lack of internet service, isolation from almost everything, and navigational systems that were seemingly built by a sadist - neither could deny that living there on mornings like this was truly a magical experience.

Or would be, were it not for the unfortunate scenario.

“Oh I hope she’s alright,” Grant panted out, slightly out of breath from the speedwalking that bordered on jogging. Working in antiques was unfortunately not a field that kept one in great physical condition, and in moments like this it truly showed.

“I’m sure she’s fine,” Bruin reassured, “thinking logically, we know nothing serious has happened,” probably, “so it’s most likely something mundane, slightly ominous at best.”

Grant looked unsure at that, but didn’t say anything. Under the glasses, Bruin could practically see the well-oiled cogs turning in his head, eyes glaze as though lost in the mechanical world. It was his typical zoning out look, which was for once highly appreciated, as Bruin himself was in no mood to talk.

They walked up the path, letting the old, wooden store come into view. It seemed no different than yesterday, albeit much darker, except for, alarmingly enough, a room in the upstairs flat. They shared a questioning look, panic visible on both their faces, before speeding up and half-sprinting to the door.

With a lead ball in his stomach, Bruin realised that the door was not only unlocked, but stood slightly ajar. He shoved it further open, with an urgency but still lightly, as not to break any antiques.

Even the golden rays of autumn sun couldn’t hide the ruins of the shop. The furniture was at a slight angle, as though a lash had come whipping at the legs, the fragile glass and ceramics that had been close to shattering finally lay dead and dismembered on the floor, and most concerningly, there was an unidentifiable black liquid smelling vaguely of ozone.

“Zarifa?” Grant began calling, stepping over the mess with all the grace of a drunk octopus, “Zari? Boss? Are you in there?” Bruin followed his shouting companion, straightening the furniture as he went. They made it to the counter, still no sight of her, though that was changed as they heard a thunderclap of a sound emitting from the backroom.

They were in the employees’ lounge within seconds of the sound, greeted by the sight of an unusually casually dressed Zarifa surrounded by long walls of antiques, stacked in an organised manner. “Oh good,” she said, upon seeing them, giving them a warm smile that reached her tired eyes, “you made it.”

Bruin wasn’t so much looking at her, as staring at the large pile of antiques behind her. Some of them he recognised, like the ‘Girl in Field’ painting, or that odd statue of an old man made of clay, 200 years old, but painted in a cornflower blue pigment that could be no more than 100, though there were also surprisingly a lot of pieces he had no recollection of seeing. Zarifa, noticing his staring, looked at him apologetically; “Sorry I had to dismantle your system. I tried to keep the organisation, and I promise I’ll help sort it afterwards.”

“It’s fine. I’ll sort it myself,” he assured, not quite sure he truly trusted anyone to touch what he had sorted. Grant was a disaster on legs, and for as much as Zarifa was good at keeping schedule, she lacked the sheer efficient sorting instinct he had had since childhood. “Why is it all up here? Was there water in the basement again?”

Zarifa shook her head, before pulling a slightly splintered, old, wooden box with a golden, dust-painted leaf-engraving on top from behind one of the piles. Bruin’s eyes widened as he remembered where it had previously been, involuntarily glancing upstairs, and then back down to Zarifa. She hadn’t really… had she? No one had ever been in Valours flat, hell, no one even had the key to it.

She opened the lid cautiously, the box creaking as ancient and rusted hinges pulled back. She pulled out aged, folded paper, and slowly laid it down in Bruins hands. Though he would of course properly examine it later, he could tell it was far older than anything he was comfortable holding with his bare, gloveless hands. “It’s more sturdy than it looks,” comforted Zarifa, upon seeing his panicky stature, “go ahead, open it up.”

With a force comparable to a feather, he opened it in precise, calculated movements. He winced as he saw the handwriting, the fine, thin squiggles dating the paper to 300 years old at least, letting go of the note to the point it was barely still in his hands. He felt Grant peeking over his shoulder, and down onto the note curiously, mumbling the words as he read down the torn page.

It wasn’t a very long read, but it added tenfold to the confusion. “What seal?” Grant eventually asked, looking up at Zarifa, “this is the page blonde-pink-girl wanted, right? Why would anyone want this?”

Zaria sighed, looking at the paper with a darkness in her eyes. She looked contemplative, opening her mouth a few times to begin a sentence, before shaking her head and going back to thought. Finally, after tracing the golden part of the box a few rounds, silence echoing the room, she spoke; “We’ve all had encounters with Them before, right?”

Even with that single word, everyone in the room instantly Knew what she was talking about. It was Them that had drawn the entire group to the shop, Them that had left that hollowness that lived in all their eyes, Them that left all of them flinching at sounds and throwing hurried glances over shoulders, and most importantly, Them that created the bond they all shared.

Zarifa signed; “Take a seat, boys. This might require a bit of an explanation.”

—————- After a long, long conversation, involving the raiding of Valour’s alcohol stash for some well earned drinking, along with expensive chocolates for an alcohol-abstaining Bruin, all had finally been explained. There was a silence in the air, tinged in cheap wine and dread, as they all looked intently at the ornate box. “So,” Grant said, clasping his hands ripping away the silence like a band-aid, “we’re dealing with a big orb, monster thingy, which intentions are unknown, who kidnapped our intruder who was reading text that made vines sprout around her and smoke fill her eyes.”

“Yeah, that sums up what I experienced this morning nicely.”

Grant blinked, Bruin hurrying his mouth which had been firmly hidden deeper in his palm. “Fucking hell, I need another drink,” Grant exclaimed with a groan, reaching his hand out with his designated office mug towards Bruin.

“You guys are all out,” Bruin said with a tired voice, “besides, I don’t think alcohol is the wisest right now. I think we should try to figure out what actually happened.”

“Good idea,” Zarifa said with a nod, “we can begin with the note. Funnily enough, it’s the easiest thing here to deconstruct.” She took the box and gave it one last glance over, before rotating it away from herself and giving Grant and Bruin the opportunity to see it; “Obviously the seal is referring to the monster. I think it’s just a matter of gathering the ingredients, and whatever happened, will be reversed.”

Bruin, more than prepared, had already pulled out his black notebook and found an empty page. He looked once again at the section of the note containing the ingredients:

A key is forged by fragments of Touched sanity eating a sight of one that Sees, dipped in water oh-so divine. Once the key has begun, the fragments must sew themselves between the fabric, letting all webbed light shine on them. As they are blessed by the minute, and after the final step of-

And out of the nonsense, quickly jotted down the list of ideas that had been proposed by a slightly tipsy Grant, and an unusually frantic Zarifa;

Fragmented Touched sanity (Magic mind? Pieces of brain?) Sight of one that Sees (Some creature’s eyes obviously, maybe cow eye cult? (Most likely, Grant’s paranoia over cow eye cult, and not actually cow eye cult)) Water divine (Holy water?) Webbed light (Interconnected grids of light? Light systems?)

Jotting them down like that, was sadly, not very revealing. Partly because all their minds were still reeling, and what they had brainstormed was mostly a series of disjointed thoughts rather than a narrative, and partly because there was still so much hidden at the bottom of the riddle ocean. Bruin could still hardly find himself believing Zarifa’s situation, and had it not been for the black liquid stains he saw himself, the cryptic note, and the wobbly tone of her words as she recounted the events, he probably would have dismissed her as being driven a bit mad by paranoia.

Even now, fully aware of the fact that it was real, he was incredibly tempted to just storm out the shop, notebook in hand. Though he encountered the unearthly almost every time he was in deep slumber, he had never actually had a fully conscious encounter. And those… nightmares, visions - whatever they could be called - had left him gluing the pieces of his mind with only the instinct of survival. A real encounter would break him.

And yet, he couldn’t run. He had nowhere to go. Thorns Antique wasn’t so much a place he had chosen to stay, as a shelter he had desperately thrown himself into. Physically, yes of course he could travel or move. Marcus had been asking him if they could move in together for months, and would be more than elated to take him in. And he was sure he could put that business degree to good use.

But, though he was physically free as a dove, his mental wings were clipped. What was he supposed to do when he inevitably woke up one night in Marcus’s bed, screaming about the knife that he was convinced was lodged in his brain? How would he explain the countless of cryptic, weird, objects littered between pages upon pages of ripped-out death notices? Markus would see him as insane, and any future job he would have wouldn’t tolerate his hazy, obsessive, jumpy, and sleep-deprived state.

Though he did not personally know what their stories really were, he suspected Zarifa and Grant were stranded on the same boat of forbidden knowledge. Zarifa had no interest in history, having a passion for literature instead, and a people-pleasing nature and work ethic that could get her far, and Grant, though a bit of a clumsy idiot, was also incredibly academically bright, and a true cityguy at heart. They were an odd group, but a strongly connected one.

Or, at least somewhat connected.

“I propose we figure out what to do now,” Bruin muttered, after reading the bullet points a couple of times, “I don’t think there’s a standard protocol for situations such as these.”

Zarifa hummed in agreement, leaning against the table with a pensive look, sipping on some more wine. “I think we should prioritise figuring out what the riddle is actually saying,” she said, “and I think most of the answers lay here. There must be some connections between all this supernatural weirdness, and I’m pretty sure it lies in the antiques.”

Bruin and Grant nodded, both pulling the wildly uncomfortable chairs close to the table in a loud, squeaking drag. “As for the stuff that we can’t find the answer to,” Zarifa continued, once everyone was seated, “we can always ask for that.” She turned to Grant; “You’ve called Valour, right?”

Grant blinked, the words taking a few seconds to register, before grimacing sheepishly. “I’ll go do that afterwards, promise.” Bruin sighed, but Zarifa simply nodded. She’d always been a lot more forgiving of his scatterbrain than Bruin.

“I’ll do the same with Lottie. Assuming she’s, well, alive. She probably won’t answer, but it's worth a shot.”

“Thought Lottie didn’t give us her number?” Grant said, Bruin mirroring his confusion. Zarifa stiffened, smile dropping by a minuscule amount.

“She didn’t, but I know how to get in contact with her,” she stated, in her best assertive tone. Before Bruin could ask what she meant by that, she powered on, bulldozing in a purposeful manner. “What about you, Bruin?”

Bruin racked his mind for a good answer, recalling what needed to be done, and all the archival systems they had buried in the husk of a computer. “Every item has a corresponding ID, and a short descriptor. I wouldn’t mind taking a look at both the system and the antiques . However, we’re all out of gloves, and our magnifying glass has been broken for two months, so I’ll head to the shop first.”

While this was completely true, Bruin did leave out the little detail that it was also beyond time to see Marcus again. Through a mix of nightly hauntings, and antique mishaps, the days had somehow slipped by without them having a proper chat. He didn’t so much mind the lack of interaction, as the guilt that came with it.

“Thank you,” Zarifa said with a smile, “and, if it isn’t too much of a bother, please keep an eye out for any… unusual sights.” He nodded, her shoulders slumping down visibly, even under the thick cream turtleneck. Grant then promptly slipped out of the room to give Valour a ring with his smashed phone, and Zarifa headed out the front door and into the shop to tidy what was left of the mess, leaving him all alone.

He buried his hands into his neatly combed hair, tension deflating like a balloon as he exhaled heavily. His head was being squeezed by a thick rubber band, though whether it was the usual sleep deprivation or stress was anyone’s guess, and his eyes were droopy and heavy, as if magnets were attempting to pull them closed.

Nevertheless, he got up, pulling his winter coat and messenger bag off the chair. He left the scarf and hat where they lay, feeling they were a bit over the top considering it was only October. Slipping the black notebook into the black and purple bag, he headed out the door, and towards the outside world, heading in a general life direction he was not fully comfortable with.

#The Lunewell Saga - Natura #the lunewell saga #natura #writing #wip excerpt #original writing #writing wip

[chuchiotaku]

Welcome back! You made me worried for this wait, you know? But now that a new chapter of the saga is here, time to go crazy and pesting you with my thoughts.

Ok, first of all, it's so good seeing Sirius and Remus again! Last time Ron saw them was in... way less pleasable moments, but I'm hapoy they are back in the story, and I hope they will spend more time around Ronal too. (Expecially Sirius. I always thought there was a more, let's say, deep connection between those two than the original author let us see, with Ron being basically Harry's James. But Remus has always been a favourite of mine so if he grow closer to Ron too, I won't complain at all.)

Finally, Ron remembered to ask Charlie about his wand! For a moment I thought that he forgot abou it! (I gotta be honest, in the last chapters I noticed that you tended to jump between moments a lot, and while I like it and give more mistery on what is happening, an excess of it is really confusing. I hope next chapters will have less time jumping or my head will explode xD) And good thing that he's starting to investigate about the Deluminator too! How does it work? What are its limitation? How much is similar to Dumbledoor's one, and why Death gave him specifically it as an Hallow? Soooo many questions... I hope Ronald's habit to ask the right question will come back.

Shame Charlie and Bill haven't heard of the troll incident (yet), but I'm sure the dragon incident will give those two enough stress, so I'll just wait to see their reaction to the new adventure of their little, problematic child!

Finally Hermione is making friends, and even outside Gryffindor too! Sue is such a sweety pie, she's so darn cute, and even the new professor, Imothep, looks like a great guy! (Why can't the lecturers teach the subjects on full time??? That's bloody unfair), I wonder if you intend to use him when in the third year the Weasley's will go to Egypth, sure, if you'll still keep that plotpoint...

Also, F*CK YEAH, DAPHNE TIME. Still an ice queen, but at least she was nice with Neville, and her interaction with Ron show how much she has a burning fire inside that aphatetic facade, it's just a matter of time before that crumbles too (I can't help it, I love the "rich blonde girl befriend normal kid and she becomes more rowdy and passionate" trope). Also, I wonder why she is so obsessed with potions... hm... wonder if that has something to do with Astoria's situation...

Or maybe she's just really, really into potions. Probably the latter.

And lastly, the Quidditch game. Not only he was really cunning and convinced the ferret to do a bet that was already won, but he even used that little 'pureblood speech' on boot! (It's my headcanon that the way he refered to the others he copied from Daphne and Neville's interaction, know it.) But... so now Malfoy won't bother them for the whole year? Isn't that... like a big change? I mean this time they won't have him on their neck while sneaking Norberta out the castle, but in so Harry won't go in the Forbidden Forest, won't have the first head on with Tom, and he won't even meet Firenze! I mean in the big scheme of things it's not really much, but.. I don't know, it feels like a big deal...

...oh wait this is if the ferret honors his word. My bad I made a mistake.

In the end, great chapter. Reading your works is always one of the highlights of my day, and for the timezones, it's always the first thing I read in the morning. I'll wait the next chapter with trepidation! (Possibly we won't have to wait three months this time xD)

Keep it going, and at the next time! Ah, and stay safe too!

Hey there! I’m happy to be back! :) Even though I tend to disappear for a long while before coming back again. Hahaha!

* Ok, first of all, it's so good seeing Sirius and Remus again! Last time Ron saw them was in... way less pleasable moments, but I'm hapoy they are back in the story, and I hope they will spend more time around Ronal too. (Expecially Sirius. I always thought there was a more, let's say, deep connection between those two than the original author let us see, with Ron being basically Harry's James. But Remus has always been a favourite of mine so if he grow closer to Ron too, I won't complain at all.)*

It was only when you mentioned that Ron is essentially Harry’s James that I realized their similarities, especially regarding how they gave Harry and Sirius their second homes and were loyal friends to the end. You just gave me an idea!  Thanks for this comment! And it would be nice if Ron will become closer to Sirius and Remus, just like in Fate. But how that will come about, we’ll just have to see.

*Finally, Ron remembered to ask Charlie about his wand! For a moment I thought that he forgot abou it! (I gotta be honest, in the last chapters I noticed that you tended to jump between moments a lot, and while I like it and give more mistery on what is happening, an excess of it is really confusing. I hope next chapters will have less time jumping or my head will explode xD)*

Apologies for the confusion. It’s my way of keeping readers on their toes, since they won’t know when the next plot point will be resolved. And there will be a good number of those between chapters and even between books, because just like in the real world, life is messy, unpredictable and complicated. That’s why prioritizing is important.

But even then, that’s not a guarantee things will go smoothly. If you’re confused reading about it, can you imagine how it is for Ron who has to live through my writing? XD

* Shame Charlie and Bill haven't heard of the troll incident (yet), but I'm sure the dragon incident will give those two enough stress, so I'll just wait to see their reaction to the new adventure of their little, problematic child!*

Oh they will hear about it, but probably not when you think they will. And as for the dragon incident, well, it’s in the next chapter. Now how will I reconcile the fact that Charlie’s reaction was pretty (unrealisitcally IMO) chill in the books with the fact that he’s a protective hellion over Ronnie in TBA? Hmm...

* Finally Hermione is making friends, and even outside Gryffindor too! Sue is such a sweety pie, she's so darn cute, and even the new professor, Imothep, looks like a great guy! (Why can't the lecturers teach the subjects on full time??? That's bloody unfair), I wonder if you intend to use him when in the third year the Weasley's will go to Egypth, sure, if you'll still keep that plotpoint...*

It’s a shame that canon Hermione didn’t grow out of her shell enough to make real friends outside of the Golden Trio’s comfort zone. Actually, that goes for all three of them. But at least she’s got Sue and Penny, and her Arithmancy homework. Yay!

Will Imhotep be in Egypt come POA year? Will there even be an Egypt arc? So many things to think about.

At least we know the Basilisk is still a thing, eh? :D

*Also, F*CK YEAH, DAPHNE TIME. Still an ice queen, but at least she was nice with Neville, and her interaction with Ron show how much she has a burning fire inside that aphatetic facade, it's just a matter of time before that crumbles too (I can't help it, I love the "rich blonde girl befriend normal kid and she becomes more rowdy and passionate" trope). Also, I wonder why she is so obsessed with potions... hm... wonder if that has something to do with Astoria's situation...Or maybe she's just really, really into potions. Probably the latter.*

Daphne is usually fitted into either the Ice Queen or the Spoiled Princess trope (even a combination of both). As for her love for Potions, I’ll say that she as an aptitude for it and leave it at that for now.

And as for the Astoria situation, do I ever have plans for her too. :)

*And lastly, the Quidditch game. Not only he was really cunning and convinced the ferret to do a bet that was already won, but he even used that little 'pureblood speech' on boot! (It's my headcanon that the way he refered to the others he copied from Daphne and Neville's interaction, know it.)*

Since the whole Noble House business has been bothering him so much even after the trial, Ron just went, why the heck not?

Now if that is something that will bite Ron in the arse later on, who knows?

*But... so now Malfoy won't bother them for the whole year? Isn't that... like a big change? I mean this time they won't have him on their neck while sneaking Norberta out the castle, but in so Harry won't go in the Forbidden Forest, won't have the first head on with Tom, and he won't even meet Firenze! I mean in the big scheme of things it's not really much, but.. I don't know, it feels like a big deal......oh wait this is if the ferret honors his word. My bad I made a mistake.*

Oh, I don’t know. Just because Malfoy wouldn’t be bullying or harassing them directly doesn’t mean that he’ll really leave them alone. Malfoy was put under Slytherin for a reason, and I think it’s just right he proved in TBA exactly why.

*In the end, great chapter. Reading your works is always one of the highlights of my day, and for the timezones, it's always the first thing I read in the morning. I'll wait the next chapter with trepidation! (Possibly we won't have to wait three months this time xD)Keep it going, and at the next time! Ah, and stay safe too!*

Aww thank you so much! I also love reading your asks, replies and your fanart! All this is so very sweet of you! Stay safe and see you in the next chapter of TBA! 

Chuchi

[solarpunkani]

You've shot down every suggestion that isn't "it's okay to use commercial chemical pesticides."

“Shot down?” Let me know if I’m wrong but I literally said that I’ve used a lot of the methods mentioned on the last ask. I just said they weren’t particularly fast acting.

Sure, I said some weren’t effective. I also said my family has employed some. Hell, we have roach motel sticky traps under our sink and in the garage, and little poison bait things as well.

I just. Okay. Some alternatives work great if you’ve got the time to wait and aren’t dealing with a lot of roaches at once. But when you ARE? Oh homie they just won’t cut it without some spraying.

Also, if I presume you were looking at the last Anonymous ask I answered about this. There’s further discussion in the comments wherein basically we concluded that if you’re being safe and reasonable and cautious with applications of indoor pesticides, it’s way better and way safer than spraying willy nilly on a windy day. And its not like we’re leaving puddles of roach spray on the kitchen counter for weeks on end.

I don’t mean to be rude. I don’t mean to come across as pro-pesticides-everywhere. I’m down for using sticky traps and boric acid as a preventative. I guess I’m just also trying to say that not everyone has the luxury of crossing their fingers and hoping and praying and waiting for something slow acting to actually be effective? Does that make sense?

#out of queue #ani rambles #answered asks #anonymous #house pest saga

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Super Movie 1: Broly (2/2)

Last time, Frieza was planning a trip to Earth to make a wish on the Dragon Balls, when Cheelai and Leemo showed up with a new recruit, Broly.   Now they’re hanging out in the mess hall of Frieza’s ship, and the strongest guy on the crew is drunkenly creeping on Cheelai.  I guess that lady in the background already shot him down, or he has a thing for the green ladies.

I like this part where Leemo tries to defuse the situation noviolently.   He’s not a fighter, and even if he were, he probably wouldn’t stand a chance here, but he’s lived his whole life surrounded by super-strong guys, and he knows how to make due with what he has.    It doesn’t work here, but it adds a lot to this scene.

Anyway, I don’t think you need me to tell you how this turns out.   Broly steps in, and he overpowers whatsisface in two seconds.   This is especially ironic in the U.S. dub, where Broly was voiced by notorious sex pest Vic Mignogna.   I kind of wonder what was going through his mind when he did this scene, except he probably didn’t even know the context.    They just told him to grunt and yell.   Still, he must have watched the movie at some point, right?  

Like how would he not make the connection that he’s the grey dude in this scenario, and Broly is getting major babyface heat by standing up for Cheelai?   Like, this whole scene was created to make Broly sympathetic, especially compared to his original 1993 incarnation.    Good guys respect women, bad guys harass them.    Did the point just sail over his head?  He was probably all: “Gosh, Broly should have stayed out of this, and donated money to the grey man for his defamation lawsuit against Cheelai.”

Oh, who am I kidding, he probably spent the whole movie staring at Cheelai’s boobs.  Or the nearest woman in the theater.

Anyway, Paragus thinks Broly’s getting out of hand, so he uses the shock collar to settle him down.    Cheelai and Leemo are outraged (again), but Paragus insists that it’s necessary to keep Broly from going nuts and killing them all.   

I’m a bit conflicted about the collar.   It’s clearly a replication of the mind-control tiara Paragus used on Broly in the DBZ movie, but this is much simpler in design.   Just an electric shock, nothing more.    I like the simplicity of it.  

However, I also liked the mind-control tiara.    It looked stylish, and I liked the mystery of how it worked and where Paragus got it from.   There was that scene in Movie 8 where he had an alien henchman run a diagnostic on the device, but there’s no telling if that guy built it or if he’s just the closest thing Paragus could find to an expert.  There was a mystique about the thing, which the shock collar just does away with entirely.   I’m not sure whether that’s a good thing or not.

But it probably serves this plot better, because Cheelai picks Paragus’ pocket while they talk, and she stomps the controller after he leaves.    Probably would have been harder to make this work with a magic device like that arm thing Paragus used to make the tiara work.   

Paragus gets summoned to Frieza’s chamber again, so while he’s gone, Broly hangs out with his new pals in... I guess a cargo room?     He thinks ordinary water is delicious, to give you an idea of how rough it was for him growing up on Vampa.   He then explains the fuzzy green thing around his waist, which always reminds me of the bathmat at my grandmother’s house.   Paragus used to make Broly provoke a giant green animal on Vampa as a training exercise, until eventually they became friends.     Broly named it “Ba” after the noise it made.  Paragus disapproved of their friendship, so he shot Ba’s ear off to piss him off good, and put a stop to that.   Broly never saw Ba again, so he kept the ear as a memento, and that’s what he’s been wearing this whole time. 

See, I like this better than Broly’s Movie 8 outfit, because it has a backstory.   I think Ba’s ear was conceived as a way to give Broly a wrap like the red one worn by the original, but someone, probably Toriyama, wanted there to be something more to it. 

Anyway, this tale pretty much defines Paragus and Broly’s relationship.   Paragus seems to genuinely care about the boy, but his main objective is for Broly to become as strong as possible so that he can prove King Vegeta was wrong to exile them.    In pursuit of this goal, Paragus has micro-managed Broly to the point where he has almost no freedom at all.   Cheelai suspect that Broly doesn’t even enjoy fighting, which sounds pretty extreme for a Saiyan, but she might be right.  I’d like to think this version of Broly would enjoy fighting, but not the way Paragus has been handling things.

Meanwhile, the good guys arrive at the ice continent to find the seventh Dragon Ball.   Frieza’s goons stole the first six and the Dragon Radar, so it doesn’t take long for Goku and Vegeta to track them down.    Here, we see them in their cute cold weather gear.    I don’t get how those coats do a damn thing in the antarctic, but I love Bulma’s spacesuit-looking thing.  

So they find the two goons, and one of them looks like an alien John Banner from Hogan’s Heroes.    They’re terrified of Goku because he’s breathing hard on the glass of their ship.   I’d be more worried about him doing a pressed fruit basket on the glass.

Luckily for them, they radioed Frieza about finding the seventh ball right before Goku showed up, so Frieza comes to the rescue.  They banter for a while, but the big story everyone wants to know about is Frieza’s backup.   He introduces Paragus and Broly, and Frieza’s plan is to have Broly do all the fighting, and he’ll let them kill Vegeta as long as he gets to finish off Goku.

So Vegeta and Broly start us off.   Broly does reasonably okay, but Vegeta seems to have the upper hand the whole time, and then he turns Super Saiyan, which freaks Paragus out, because he didn’t even know that was a thing.    That bums Frieza out, because I guess he assumed Broly could do it too?  Why would he think that?   I mean, he turns out to be right later, but he should know that not just any Saiyan can pull that off. 

Moreover, Vegeta can transform further than this.   People made a big to-do about this part, where he uses the Super Saiyan God form Goku used in Movie 14, but I don’t know, it doesn’t seem like that big a deal to me.     I mean, Super Saiyan Blue is better, and Vegeta knows how to do that one, so what’s the difference?  I mean, I’m the guy who really wanted to see Vegeta use Super Saiyan 3 a long time ago, so I get why this is a big deal for people, but it doesn’t mean much to me personally.   

At any rate, Vegeta seems disgusted with Broly’s performance, but I think it says a lot that he managed to hold out this long against Super Saiyan God Vegeta.

Around this point, Paragus tries to call Broly off, but he can’t, because he doesn’t have the remote to use the shock collar.  I’m not sure I understand what was supposed to happen if he still had it.   Was Frieza going to fight Goku and Vegeta by himself?  Was he going to just quietly withdraw and leave the Dragon Balls behind? 

Also, I’d just like to take this time to point out that Paragus looks really dumb here.   He looked cool at the start of the movie, when he was younger and looked more like his 1993 design, but then they dressed him in this green and purple number, and the pink shower curtain looks really dumb.    Also, I hate how they lightened his skin tone in this movie.  At least they brought back Dameron Clarke to play him in the dub.     I really like Paragus, and he’s mostly okay in this movie, but he’s nowhere near as cool as the ‘93 version.

As for the fight, Broly somehow gets a second wind, and holds of Vegeta, even in his god form.   Paragus suggests that Broly has somehow tapped into the Oozaru power Saiyans have when they turn into giant apes.   Except Broly’s tail was cut off at a young age, so he hasn’t turned into a giant ape in years.     Paragus seems to think that Broly’s body is using that power anyway, but without the transformation turning him into a big, bulky ape, there’s nothing to slow down his movements.   

Also, Broly is glowing green when he does this, so maybe the implication is that this was what every version of Broly has been doing, and I guess Kale too.    I’ve also seen it suggested that this ties into Super Saiyan 4 somehow.    I mean, it makes sense, because you have to be a Super Saiyan and a Giant Ape at the same time to go SSJ4, and then you shrink down into a humanoid state, with the powers of both.  Broly’s doing it in a different order, but maybe he’s worked out something similar?  

The thing is, I don’t really buy Oozaru power as a useful thing.   This franchise retired the concept thirty years ago, save for a brief comeback in Dragon Ball GT.   Hell, they didn’t even show anyone turning into a giant ape in this movie, which seems to rely onthe concept quite a bit.   If Great Ape power was so hot, why don’t they just go all in and use it?    The implication of DBZ was that, past a point, it just stops mattering, and when Goku and Vegeta became powerful enough, the form became obsolete.   But somehow Broly’s using it and he’s strong enough to throw hands with god-Saiyans.  Or maybe Paragus is completely wrong about all of this, and he’s only guessing Oozaru stuff for lack of a better explanation.  

I mean, I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade.    There’s SSJ4 fans who really like how this movie teased at the form, and that’s great lore, even if this is as far as it goes, but it doesn’t mean that much to me.  Personally, I’m more into how Goku used the term “base form” in the script.   As in: Broly is holding off Vegeta, even in his base form.   I’m pretty sure that’s the first time it’s been used in official material.

So then Goku decides to jump in, using his base form as well, which I find pretty dumb, since Broly was beating up Vegeta in SSG mode a minute ago.    This sort of teeters on the brink of GT Logic.   I really prefer the way things were in the Cell Saga, where no one would even try to fight Cell or the androids until they were comfortably transformed.    I mean, why would you not?  

Goku uses Super Saiyan Classic for a bit, then he ramps up to his own Nacho Cheese form, and he manages to subdue Broly for a hot minute.   He tries to reason with the guy, saying that he isn’t all that bad, so why not make peace.   Notably, when Goku tells Broly he doesn’t have to listen to those bad guys at the ship, it makes Paragus really nervous, like he’s terrified that someone will tell Broly that and he’ll actually listen.

But then Broly powers up and fights his way out of it, and starts taking control of the battle again.   

The weaker bad guys lift off to get clear of the battle, while Frieza and Paragus remain behind to watch.    Cheelai is frustrated that Broly is being used to fight this sort of battle, even though he happens to be doing pretty well so far.   

Piccolo contacts Goku telepathically about this situation, and Goku plans to teleport to Piccolo’s location if things go south.    But first...

... he turns Super Saiyan Blue and tries to fight Broly that way.  

And this is where the movie uses a bunch of CGI stuff, like like in Battle of Gods and Resurrection F.   The graphics look better, like something out of Fighter Z instead of Raging Blast 2, but it still looks dumb.   What Toei doesn’t seem to understand is that this stuff ages really poorly.   This movie’s not even a year old, and it already stands out.    It’s not about improving the graphics, either.  The problem is that the poses look so robotic and lifeless.   This is especially true for this movie, where most of the animation is so fluid and expressive.   

For example.

During this part of the fight, the land gets torn up, exposing the magma below, and Paragus begins to wonder if King Vegeta had been right all along.  Maybe Broly really is too dangerous, and sending him to Vampa was the best thing for everyone.  As it is, Goku Blue is winning, and Broly is too far gone to realize that he needs to stop fighting.    Without the remote, Paragus can only stand by and watch his son get killed.

But Frieza isn’t giving up yet.   Once he’s certain that Broly has no more miracles in him...

... he kills Paragus himself, and calls out to Broly to make sure he sees what’s happened.  

And that causes Broly to flip out and turn Super Saiyan himself.   I guess this is just Super Saiyan 1, and not some nutty alternate form, but the point is that Broly was doing very well in his regular state, so any transformation on top of that makes him unstoppable.   Goku tries to hang in there, but then Vegeta jumps in and tells him that he can’t possibly win alone.    

So they try hitting him with a Kamehameha/Gallic Gun combo, but that does nothing...

... then they lead him directly towards Frieza, and Broly attacks him instead, because I guess he’s not picky at this point.   

Then they teleport to Piccolo.   Goku’s plan now is to use the Fusion Technique, but he needs Piccolo to coach them because Vegeta’s never done it before.

Okay, so a couple of problems I have with this part.   First, I really don’t like the idea of Broly vs. Gogeta being a thing.   I first saw this idea in the opening credits for Dragon Ball Z Budokai 3, and it always annoyed me because I never cared for the idea of Broly as such a powerful threat that only fusion could beat him.    Broly’s deal is that he’s an evil Super Saiyan, so my preferred scenario is for Goku or Vegeta to beat him solo.  

Second, I’m not wild about how this movie tries to do Broly, Gogeta, and Bardock as a combination platter.   The Bardock stuff works reasonably well, since Broly’s origin story takes place when Bardock was around, and Dragon Ball Minus was already written.   And Broly was a non-canon concept, so revamping him for this wasn’t a terrible idea.    But throwing Gogeta in too just feels like pandering to me.    For years, Fathom Events has been screening DBZ features in theaters, and they always seem to go for “Bardock: Father of Goku”, “Fusion Reborn”, and “Broly: The Legendary Super Saiyan.”   I feel like a Cooler movie made the cut once, but that was a long time ago.    The point is that someone in charge seems to consider those three specials to be the most popular or best ones, and it feels an awful lot like this DBS movie is trying to cash in on that.  

And I can’t blame Toei for wanting to combine three popular titles, but it just feels a little too convenient.   Fans saw Gogeta coming, because they noticed the lineup Fathom Events had before this movie premiered, and they knew Broly and Bardock would be in this one, so it got them thinking Gogeta would make an appearance as well.  

With Bardock, you can make a case that this version is an improvement over the “Father of Goku” version.  And Broly may be better off this way than the 1993 version of the character.   But this take on Gogeta isn’t nearly as fun or cool as “Fusion Reborn”.    The boys just leave the battlefield and drill the Fusion dance until they get it right.    How does that make any sense?  

Don’t get me wrong, it’s funny how Frieza gets the shit beat out of him for over and hour, but how does that make sense at all?  

I mean, Golden Frieza couldn’t beat Goku or Vegeta in the last movie, so how can he survive against a guy who was taking them both on at the same time?  For an hour?   How did Frieza survive this?  

Really, longer than that, because Gogeta takes a minute to decide what to call himself.   It’s a cute moment, but still.   Part of what makes Fusion Reborn so awesome was that Goku had to convince Vegeta and teach him the fusion in the middle of the battlefield.    When they screwed it up, Janemba kept trying to kill them while they tried to deal with it.  This movie sucks all of that tension away.    

There is a part where Broly goes after Whis and can’t hit him, so maybe Whis kept the big guy busy for a while, but I dunno.   Anyway, Gogeta teleports in and promises to handle the rest.   

Bulma looks really cute here, by the way.

So yeah, Gogeta goes Super Saiyan and they fight so hard that it opens up a dimensional rift or something...

I don’t know what the idea here was, but it’s trippy and I like it, I guess.

Anyway, Gogeta goes Blue and punches Broly hard enough that they go back to the real world.  

But this screencap pretty well sums it up.   A blue guy and a green guy shooting green and blue shit at each other.   

Gogeta even uses the Stardust Breaker from Movie 12, but Broly survives, even though Gogeta’s at Super Saiyan Blue.   I gotta be honest, this is just a bit too wacky for me.  

Meanwhile, Cheelai and Leemo steal the Dragon Balls and summon Shenron.   She forces whatsisname to tell them how to make the wish, but it turns out you can just ask Shenron directly, so it’s not that complicated.  

See, the big twist of this movie, which is really what holds all of this together, is that Broly’s not the villain after all.   He’s the victim here, and that puts things in a whole other light now that Gogeta is turning the tables on him.   When I found out this movie would come down to Broly vs. Gogeta, I wondered how evenly matched they would be, but since Broly is sympathetic, it changes the equation.   Gogeta can just whale on the guy, and it doesn’t matter, because the real suspense is whether Cheelai can save Broly before it’s too late.

As Gogeta prepares a finishing blast, Cheelai wishes for Broly to be sent back to Vampa, and Shenron does it.   Vampa sucks, but at least Broly is safe here.

Then Leemo and Cheelai fly out of here to save themselves.  Frieza tries to blast them out of the sky.   Why didn’t he stop them before they made their wish?   Also, why didn’t Shenron offer to grant two more wishes? 

In any case, Gogeta stops Frieza from killing them, and he shrugs Gogeta off and prepares to leave.   Gogeta just... stands there and lets him?    Why?   Vegeta has always wanted Frieza dead, and Goku learned the hard way in the last movie.    This is dumb.   

Meanwhile, Beerus has done absolutely jack shit through this whole movie and he’s very pleased about it.  

In space, Cheelai plans to drop Leemo off somewhere and then head for Vampa.   She figures she’s a fugitive from the GP and the Frieza Force, so it’s about the only place left for her to go.    This definitely has nothing to do with the generous bulge in Broly’s tights, no sir.  

But Leemo wants to tag along, since he figures he doesn’t have much going for him either.  

Frieza knows that they’re all together on Vampa, but he decides to leave them be for now.   He seems to think they can make Broly stronger and better able to control his power, and that suits him for... some reason.

This line confuses me.  Is he saying he wants another nemesis, in addition to Goku and Vegeta?   Or is he saying that he wants a potential ally to help him defeat Goku and Vegeta?   Or something else altogether?

On Vampa, Cheelai and Leemo are starting to realize what they’ve signed on for here.   The only food on the planet is bitter, and everything is trying to kill them.

Then Goku just teleports into their cave and gives them a capsule house full of provisions.   He even gives them a couple of senzu beans.

Cheelai is suspicious of Goku, but he explains that he just wants them to be safe and healthy, because he wants to fight Broly again sometime.    After all, it took nothing less than Gogeta Blue to beat him, so he must be a worthy opponent.  

Cheelai still regards Goku as an enemy, but he doesn’t particularly care, since he can find them wherever they go, and Broly seems happy with the idea of fighting with him for funsies.  

So Cheelai lightens up a bit and thanks him.   Then they ask Goku his name, because they never heard who this guy is or what he’s all about.  

So he says that he’s Son Goku... and Kakarot.   I like the dub version better, where he specifically says “Broly... call me Kakarot.”   Either way, I like this ending, because “Kakarot” was Broly’s catchphrase in the 90′s, and he never says it once in this movie, because he never heard the name until this point.  So that’s pretty cool.

But more importantly, I like this as character development for Goku, who once bitterly rejected his Saiyan heritage, including his birth name.   Now, it looks like he’s come around on that, to the point where he wants other Saiyans to call him Kakarot.   It works well with my personal canon that Saiyans view this as a matter of honor.   Vegeta knows he goes by “Son Goku”, but he thinks it would be more insulting to call him that, even if that’s his preference.

And that’s the movie.   All in all, a pretty good one, probably one of the best, but not as good as my favorites.   I think it would have been better if they had used new concepts and characters instead of mining the past for ideas.   A different Saiyan could have played the Broly role just fine, but they went with Broly because of his popularity.    Some other power could have been used to defeat him, but they went with fusion because it was popular.    It get the reasoning, but I can’t help but notice how Cheelai became the breakout star of this thing, and everyone loves Cheelai and she just might be the most popular thing to come out of this movie, and lo and behold, she’s a wholly original idea.  It just makes you wonder what else they might have come up with if they hadn’t stopped with her.   

#dragon ball #dragon ball super #dragon ball super: broly #2019dbliveblog #goku #vegeta #frieza #broly #beerus #whis #bulla #bulma #piccolo #gogeta #cheelai #leemo #ba #paragus #berryblue

[fortheheavenssake]

MM Anon 4

MM Anon 4

Nov. 1

MM ANON … She Telegraphed it !!…… mechanically damaged 🤣🤣🤣……… rugby widow😭😭😭……alone on the Balcolonial …… “ Turn around re-play”…… wading through the Slush…… an American Psycho…… PR-int error ………🎼”God only knows “🎼…… 🧣🐓👯‍♀️🤔😭🤥……🎼”Wake up ,little ……… wake up“🎼…… “ I may wear purple Philip “…… “epic old thing ‘ that’ll p!$$ her orf “…… “hair of the DOG Harry”🤣🤣🤣”lets PARTY”……… 15-9 ……… “OK , give me £500”. …… $h!t, I’ve lost my phone!!……” OMG’ all those photos on it!!”

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Nov. 1

MM ANON …… NUTMEG not sanctioned by the BRF on visit to the bakery,all a SS stunt to get an interview with the Tele- laugh. Her woke ramblings ‘ a tossed salad of word salad … me ,me ,me me look at me , “because we’re all women right!! and I’m going to empower you all to become inspired by your own emotional strength,we’re cool sisters of the oppressed forces that the monarchy controls …… yeahhh ‘ right on and solid.”

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Nov. 1

MM ANON, Why is Trampmeg trapped in a bakery with the sisters of Perpetual retribution spreading her bacteria all over the sweeties…… simple!!! She’s $h!t scared of being Booooooood !! If she had a public outing with the great unwashed there’d be booing and a knashing of teeth. That’s why the the colonial carpetbagger stays hidden from the public. If its appearance on the balcony at RD. is anything, I bet someone gives her the old verbal finger

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Nov. 2

MM ANON , DEAR SWEET JESUS, The Sus-sex saga is really,REALLY dragging on , the anticipation of a drama at RD, the escape to LA, the archificial debacle, the suspect charity slush funds, it just piles on day after day of PR lies and nutmeg hand wringing, whinging and virtuous lectures to the great unwashed. Hiding in Bakery’s and WC kitchens isn’t facing the public ( boooooooo!!! ) this colonial carpetbagger is on the run from the Brits who see through her bull$h!t and mendacity. 🤥🤥🤥

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Nov. 2

MM ANON … “ You are part of this monarchy, you WILL adhere to its traditions”…… “ her past, so embarrassing!!”…… Rogue PR…… “we’ve “cleaned” her phone ma’am”…… “ I fear it’s still out there”…… promoting the impossible …… “ give this one to William” “ thank goodness we have one classic beauty,old thing “ …… “ is Charles thinking of leap-frogging to William ,Philip?”……” my teams made arrangements “…… “shut up!! It’s my Duty!!”…… 🎼” to dream the impossible dream “🎼……”total meltdown sweetie”

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Nov 3

MM ANON … ‘ and in the morning, we shall Booo!!!……… Mall-content. …… camera click ‘ I’m OK!!…… “ sit Harry with Melania??”………… a reduced detachment …… “ it’s in the Fine print M’lud”…… “ what!! a night of fruity duty” …… “6 of the 13 are solid!! “…… “ leapfrogging, not a chance old thing” …… “ the right order of things Philip” ……… “ my apologies for the interruption Ma’am”…… “ One should act post-haste”…… “ and keep Harry out of this”. ……… O’ Kate, I hear she got quite scwiffy Philip”.

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Nov 3

MM ANON … occasionally one exposes an anomaly within the mainstream collective , I’m not talking about the proud hard working women of America, I’m describing the grifting harsluts who screw their way up the social dung heap that is the domain of institutions of suspect provenance. This specific specimen grift, escort , yacht, sexually ingratiate blow , and manipulate their way into positions of kept high maintenance. Who the hell could that be?… O’her!!!

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Nov 4

MM ANON,…… THE ACTUAL REALITY!! The evidence appertaining to nutmegs missing years, The exodus to Madrid for a “ procedure” after leaving the American embassy in BA “ she apparently had an affair with a junior attaché. Then it vanished into the very private and murky world of yachting escorting, often mentioned in her SM posts as auditions for film appearances. 🤣🤣🤣 a clandestine history of sordid consequences that led to an embarrassing entrapment of himself, an archificial birth and lies.

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Nov 4

MM ANON …… RD,will she ‘won’t she?…… a Congressional offer…… The foundations support …… 🎼” don’t stop thinking about tomorrow”🎼………a bit LAX of her…… W&Ks PR assault …“ the popularity of the children your Highness”……” Popular!! we call it “Charlottes Web 🤣🤣”……” it’s the future direction ma’am”…… “she imploded ma’am ,end of!! “…… “ Christmas!! A family portrait ma’am , only the family “…… “ it’s exciting Philip ‘ a new chapter “…… “any cream caramel left old thing”. … tut tut,dyspepsia Philip”

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Nov 5

MM ANON …… A prospective congressional candidate ……caLiforniA voting …… bankrolled by Bubba…… 🎼” ain’t nobody Straight in LA”🎼…… Nov.14th , liftoff !! …… “ don’t come back, general consensus ma’am”. //… “ William’ you’ll love the break darling “…… “ 🦄can I come daddy, pleeeeeez!!”…… “bring me back a 🦎”…… “ Well, rather you than me squidgy” …… “ I’m reading these balcony jokes old thing” ……” 🤣🤣 Philip, look at this one ‘ wicked!!”… “make it there problem, it’s her decision “ … “Ad Nauseam.

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Nov 5

#FREECAMILLA……… the hashtag is emblematic of the impossible situation that the DOC has to endure on the 7th. Camilla is scheduled to pay her respects at the field of remembrance at Westminster Abbey following the D&DOS. nutmeg is an appendage regarding TBRF , she turns up all PR and no knickers, poster 42 year old for middle age yachters. How long is it going to soil the institutions of dignity. If you’re not OK and WOUNDED, go back into hiding. #FREECAMILLA. allegedly, speculation of course.

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Nov 6

MM ANON, KATES TAGLIATELLE NAPOLITANA. … cook tagliatelle till al dente, Toss in a little truffle olive oil. Napolitana sauce, … cook ground beef( 300grams) in pan with finely sliced garlic and shallots. Season. Add superior tomato sauce ( Italian). Cook for 10 minutes. Pour over tagliatelle that’s in a oval oven dish. Cover with parmigiana reggiano , medium heat for 12 minutes in oven,Serve hot with a glass of good Chianti. Happy Harry guaranteed. NB. This is Kate’s own recipe.

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Nov 6

MM ANON, As soon as the last notes of the RD parade fade nutmeg will hot foot it to Northolt to catch her private jet to LA. She’s all packed and ready to flee the country she hates , the “Wounded” snowflake who’s not “OK” won’t stay a second longer in soho house. Harry can start his re-hab from the insidious co-dependency he’s fallen into, and W&K can visit him and coach his return to royal normality, having eaten to many chicken dinners he can relish Kate’s Tagliatelle Napolitana, GSTQAOBC.

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Nov 6

MM ANON ………” the pest is fleeing the rented nest” SO-HO HO HO !!!………”🎼” don’t give me that do goody good bullshit”🎼…… I’ll catch him , you talk him round” …… “ don’t be naive, it’ll be longer than 6weeks.”……… “I’ve got a cunning plan”………… Mmmm’ money but NOT title!!…… “ the Privy Purse won’t finance that”. …… “ I’ll have a chat with the LCJ, ol’ Netty will fix it.”…… “ done and dusted darling”. …… 🎼” we’ve already said “ so long”🎼………🎼” With a Little help from my friends”🎼. Amen!!

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Nov 7

MM ANON, THE D&DOC , met family’s and school children today at St. Martin in the Fields. The epitome of royal class. Kate stunning in royal blue dress. Equate this with the sloppy belted afterthought nutmeg wore? A poodle weave, ill fitting navy blue ( not a respectable black) couch throw. Harry dignified in regimental frock coat. Once again she denigrates a solemn occasion with her smug indifference to protocol and traditions. People were laughing contemptuously at her. GET RID !!!

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Nov 7

MM ANON …… Royal blue class…… navy blue @ss……… royal winning ……… smug grinning …… “ a quiet word in your shell-like Harry, she embarrassed you”…… “Sunday night ma’am, alone!!”…… Royal Trinity …… 🎼” leaving on a jet plane , don’t know “🎼……… “Exeter airport, not far from Babington ma’am”……”What!! a brotherly tour LG?”…… SANDRINGHAM sand pit…”one disaster at a time,old thing”……” Melania has royal discretion Philip”…… “ God knows Philip, money?”…… “whatever’ but not in bloody black and white “

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Nov 7

MM ANON , WELL WHAT’I,TELL YA, congressional representative for a district of L.A. , if my little birdies are chirping the same song ,the appointed one is going to run , and it won’t be South Central, some nice residential upmarket suburb , 60% coloured. The Gang of Four will offer their endorsement and Nancy with the laughing face will put the cherry on top. 2020 cometh. She won’t come back. And Harry will become mr. Megan Markle, unless of course’…………………

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Nov 9

MM ANON … beyond the bathrobe… hit the spot(not)…… never on a Sunday …… 🎼Sun-day my Prince will come🎼…LA Confidential …… morning TV. …… The Late shows …… “And now a surprise guest ‘Princess Megan and Prince Archie”…… “And now a word from her sponsor”…… A Meg-a endorsement … “you can have my jet”…… please!! a little decorum”…… Who’me!!

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Nov 9

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Nov 10

MM ANON, SO …… “ Don’t stand with us, Don’t sit with us , we don’t require your company or conversation , just f***off back to California and re-connect with your vacuous valley girls who can only talk of their therapists,and being f**** by their personal trainers”. “ What say you Camilla”… “ I totally agree ma’am”. Alleged royal drawing room conversation between HMTQ,DOC,D&DOS. 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Nov 10

MM ANON, So , megherp wears an inverted piss-pot on her head , another FU protocol, while outcasted to the Siberian balcony, I wonder what the conversation was inside the rooms of the foreign Office while she was waiting with Harry. M.” Look at that stuck up bitch Kate,talking to the Queen” K. “ well’ Megan looks very average again, naked legs I see, Mmm,ever-ready Rachel suits her”. H. “What time is your plane leaving “. M. “ as soon as I can f*** off from you lot”. Allegedly, speculation only.

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Nov 10

MM ANON …… game,set and lies…… “ that royal DR conversation actually took place “……… game, set And Siberia …… William isn’t enamoured …… “Bare legs, ever ready Rachel “🤣🤣🤣🤣………”So-Ho hook-up?? really”……… “the RPO HAS to keep quiet!!! …… “ a scandal to far old thing “…… “ pray it stays!!”…… “extra protection , NO , let her pay!!”……… “ her little friends ‘ it’s a called a sleepover William “ …… “Yes,Edward and Sophie “…… “wheels up ma’am ,… thank god LG”

Thank you MM Anon…😊❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

This is not written by Skippy!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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Nov 10

MM ANON ……… “ for the attention of the intellectually challenged trolls, I write my own riddles and submit them to skippy. “ but then again, that’s the reason you’re all intellectually challenged. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 one thing trolls have in spades, contempt prior to investigation ……… many thanks skippy.

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Nov 11

MM ANON …… “H’ phone Oprah , NOW!!…… “ we’ll stay with SW for a while”…… “ my mother’s already here”. ……… “ Lottie’ tell your little friends to stop jumping on the bed.” …… BREAKFAST!!…… “ OK’ who’s for sticky maple syrup and waffles?”…… Charlotte!!!! behave. …… “ We’re outnumbered George!!”……”NANNY HELP!, …… “Wait and see,ma’am, wait and see!!”…… “yes, my friends in the service!!”… The banquet would be a good time. ……Embroil him in duties to his regiment ……’seven for a secret never to be told.

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Nov 11: MM anon?

Dear skippy, I do believe I’m being logged and monitoring by TPTB. Also my dear friend ALLEGEDLY ANON. every word I write, they’ll be watching me. ……… MM ANON. They’ve already got to me very surreptitiously. Please post this ,the more anons know the better. Kind regards.

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Nov 11

MM ANON… … Delayed flight 14th Nov.

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Nov 13

MM ANON ……… 🎼” let the Sunshine”🎼…… who pulled the short straw?……… palm trees at Sandringham …… “ pass the Dorito’s darling “……… Sophie’s surprise ……“ I love the belt sweetie”. … Preg-nont…… “ I love the belt sweetie” ……… “yes , smile and serve them gru-el”…… Christmas?” Musical chairs old thing” ……… more of a 12 by 6 ……… small expectations …… Kate’s red carpet …… “ bet she goes for the lovers knot.” …… Hobson choice.

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Nov 14

MM ANON …… MAD-ISON AV. Re-Sunshine Sucks…… a tabloid too far…… LA thanksgiving? …… homeless shelter thanksgiving?……Royal Family thanksgiving?…… professional lie juggler …… $h!t scared of loosing tax millions …… HMTQ drops in 🤣🤣🤣🤣…… MM drops out…… “ it’s not rocket science Harry dear boy, she’s a s****!!…… “ but I love her” … “Really!!, sit down and watch this” …… “ now!! convinced!!”…… “ ones judgment is sometimes compromised Harry” …… “ But, But ,But …… “No ifs, no Butts. … just act royal

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Nov 14

MM ANON ………… surreptitiously, “lift off”. …… who dares,bins…… 🎄it’s a wonderful strife🎄…… failure is not a-doption……Interstellar McCartney………me invito tactiost…… an act of con-passion…… “ therapy, the humanitarian solution Harry”. …… “serious emotional and mental disorders” …… it’s not her fault, she seems to have been born that way” ……… “ yes!! Section 8. … “ it’s your call!! “

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Nov 15

MM ANON, WTF !!! there’s a record of conversations and confidences A DIARY!! really,REALLY !! This is a potential IED … regarding a tome of disastrous consequences for HMTQ and the Royal Family. Whispers about said Tome have been fluttering around royal circles for over a year. If ‘ IF , someone had a resentment or grievance against the RF and one had recorded all in a “Diary” the publication would be of universal interest. ( $20 million advance) at least. Her future secured!! just sayin !!

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Nov 15

MM ANON, coercion is a crime. Blackmail is a crime, so why is nutmeg bleeting on about empowerment and mindfulness 🤮🤮🤮 while the biggest criminal manipulation against a monarch and her family was undertaken with her at the Center. This grifter used and abused a naive recipient into a marriage and turned him into a co-dependent with emotional and character changing traits. BLACKMAIL IS A CRIME!! Tick TOCK.

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Nov 15

MM ANON, EXPLOITATION!!! Stella(money) McCartney pays East Hungarian women £2.6 an hour ……… and say it takes a worker 5 hours to complete a coat / say materials cost £50.00 + labour £15.00 … so £65.00 for a coat retailing at £1.545.00……… quite a mark up a Stella’ old woke , humanitarian nutmeg buys your extortionate rag without any bleeting of exploitation of Hungarian women ……… Mmmm not to Woke nutmeg. HYPOCRISY!!

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Nov 15

MM anon .......... “wash spin repeat”......... no hole barred🤣🤣🤣......... reflect,deflect,infect...... DM is armed and dangerous...... court jester 🎭......... the light is Fading...... nice hypocrisy you’re wearing...... hunger-Ian...... GCHQ on the QT......... I’m not a row boat...... “they will unleash the dossier from hell”...... complete disclosure......... in case of emergency, pull handle. ...... sorry you’re out of time......... 🎼 …”rescue me”…🎼.

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Nov 15

MM ANON ……Ventura Highway …… “ yes, let’s go!!”…… GCHQ, on the QT…… W knows EVERYTHING!!…… PR pops in”🤣🤣……… “ one pops in , Philip”…… archificial pops out, when?……… “ bit of a soft interview “…… tighten security, NOW!!…… “ this ones out the bag , old thing”…… “ I’m looking forward to it Philip, all the little ones”…… “yes , one is a tad hurt”…… A good appointment.…… “ right up Her street”. …… 🎼give yourself a very🎄merry Christmas🎼…… “ Little ones?the service is too long,Philip”.

This is the one I thought I deleted….I deleted the copy not the original…..forward we go….😊❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Nov 16

MM ANON/ ALLEGEDLY ANON/NANNY ANON/0 YEA,O YEA ANON/ HOLD UP, HOLD UP ANON/ LIFT OFF ANON ……………………………BYE BYE.

Because I won’t post tirades against PA….they have chosen to leave. I thought keeping PA separate from riddles was the right thing to do. It seems that was not what they expected from me. I am on the side of truth, I’m not burying PA stuff, I just don’t believe there is enough info for me to support their thoughts. I’m not here to expose PA…I am here to expose MM…and PA is a distraction. Sorry.

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Nov 18

MM ANON ……”too many eyes, it has to be privejet “…… SS , travel agent ……” NO more interviews “ ……” I’ll, give her away!!” …… 🎼”they had style,and well read,MM gave good head,vogue “🎼……… Aotearoa…… DM litigate big guns…… Subpoena demeanour ……… “ocean view,or the hills princess?”…… “ ones posterior is sore” …… “ I warned you old thing”…… “ Bugger them, tomorrow’s chip paper!!”……… “ I want a monkeeeeey!!🦄🐒

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Big 18

MM ANON , MANY BLESSINGS AND SALUTATIONS FOR THE SKIPPY GANG ……… (my bad!! ) …… ONWARDS TOWARDS THE JUDICIAL INCARCERATION OF MADAM. Please dear sweet Jesus let the righteous triumph over the darkness that she’s bestowed on TBRF. 

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Nov 19

MM ANON … Sharon concern about Forth Bridge …… operation updates …… charitable uncoupling …… LG takes a grip?…… GM on the QT with Harley St. ……

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Nov 19

MM ANON ………GM consults Chobanian…… Sharon,concerns about Forth Bridge. …… Charitable uncoupling ……… a worried sausage …… LG ‘quite confidence …… cogs oiled and ready …… Dark clouds over ninety mile beach …… “it’s a runaway train old boy”…… “PRUNING , autumn or Spring?”……” I’m only the messenger!!”……… W&K ,royalty personified …… “weathering the shower, it’s not a storm old boy”……

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Nov 19

MM ANON , Re-lesser anon, There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance … that principle is contempt prior to investigation. Just sayin’ 🤣🤣🤣

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Nov 20

MM ANON ……… LVH, she’s vanished” ……… BC , Arkan-SIDED……… 🎼” another one bites the dust “ 🎼………”the notebooks are no longer available”……”ones concerned and caring”…… Sandringham sanctuary …… Amazingly stoic “bloody fuss, piss off”……… W&Ks Support is continuous ……… C&C on recall?……” He had a multitude of secrets” …… warden patsy’s……All the ex-Presidents woM.E.N.…… “OMG,not another lift off?”

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Nov 20

VERY HAPPY 72nd WEDDING ANNIVERSARY 🍸🍸👑👑🍮🍮🎊🎉💞💞

Yes…A Very Happy Anniversary!🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Nov 20

MM ANON, ……… NOW EVERYONE CAN RETURN TO WHAT REALLY MATTERS ………… THE INCARNATION AND JUDICIAL CONCLUSION TO THE HIGH CRIMES AND MISDEMEANOURS OF THE COLONIAL CARPETBAGGER. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Nov 20

MM ANON … THIS BLOG IS NOT PRO-PEDOPHILIA. PERIOD.

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Nov 21

MM ANON …… Hey’ RF!! I’m still not OK…… Daughters dilemma …… FBI delivers legal documents …… canary’s calling …… wittiness projection …… Max-well-on-Her-way-farer…… southern district documents verified …… Kuwaiti waity …… Lottie lustre camera caper…… DOC photo exhibition imminent …… “ I have a request”…… request denied !!…… USA demands archificial …… Northern flights.

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Nov 21

MM ANON ……💜💜💜💜💜. To all anons. I appreciate all submissions on the riddles, all are brilliant interpretations of words and meanings. BRAVA TO ALL !! …… PG is one of our much loved deciphering anons , so on a spiritual level we pray for dear PG. prayers and positive energy for our dear much loved friend. 💜💜💜💜💜💜 prayers for Mr skippy and PG. 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜❤️❤️❤️❤️💜💜💜💜

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Nov 22

For PG

MM ANON 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜WELCOME BACK PG💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜it’s good to have you back. 💜💜

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Nov 22

MM ANON, O’SKIPPY, the angel who opened a dog hospice, ……… I CRIED , I REALLY CRIED 😢😢 how wonderful, what thoughtfulness and humility a real HUMANITARIAN!!! Hey nutmeg, how about donating a dress price to this canine saint. GOD BLESS YOUR IMMORTAL SOUL 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

It really is something…earth angels are with us to restore faith in humanity, we are seeing more earth angels now as the world is dark we are learning. Thank you God for giving us these amazing stories and anons who bring them.🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Nov 22

MM ANON, Dear skippy i posted riddle earlier today 🤣💜💜💜. 🎼🎼🎼🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🎼🎼🎼

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Nov 22

MM ANON …a cuppa and a trot…… “ no damage darling”…… “W&K will pick up the slack”…… “ let’s go visit the old bugger”…… A Christmas PR push…… “ she has to show archificial “……… Harry and Sandringham??……… “ for goodness sake,nanny had the night off” ……… “it’s a wonderful Christmas card darling”………… will boss baby go viral??………Mmm , Little punk Prince!

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Nov 23

MM ANON …… “ it’s not Andrew it’s Meeeee!!”…… “suits is a positive act”🤣🤣……… “ life is like a box of chocolates”…… “Doritos here”……… “I’ll cook a turkey dinner”…… Charles Champion……… “ we’ll have to, in the speech??”…… media vita in Monte sumus…… “something borrowed ,someone’s blue”…… “Christmas’Blue Water,Lottie,”…… “Unicorrrrrns”🦄🦄……… “strictly Party Nanny 🥳”……… “ bit of week old thing, hugs!!”…… “ and a large sherry”……… “ a large malt”

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Nov 24

ALLEGEDLY/ MM / NANNY/…… ALL THE GANG. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🎼🎼🎼🎼❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💜💜🙏🏻HAPPY BIRTHDAY SKIPPY HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY.

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Nov 24

MM ANON …… a homecoming hiatus …… Top of the Pops👑👑…… “ And when they were only half way up”……… “ it’s going to be a PA tabloid tsunami”…… 🎼”potato,patarto, lets call the whole thing off”🎼……… “just take the bloody photo”……… “a horrified positive Pratt”…… 🎼” iiiiim’putin on my top hat”🎼……… Kate’ “I do everything he dose, only backwards and in six inch heels, and with three children”…… “ I trust in William old thing”…… “Sir!! focus,a century is demanded!”…………… 🎼”pictures of Lily”🎼

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Nov 25

MM ANON ………lay a place for Vlad?…… lovers knot hiding …… Kate ,Melania & Ivanka shine …… nutmeg crashes posh-nosh?…… “ it’s just impeachy’Donald” ……… “ no chance Ma’am”……… “Hows the Dook?”…… “a special Yuletide for a million reasons ,ma’am”…… legalities,Banalities,Calamities …… “2020, I’m an optimist Christopher”…… “less is more, ma’am”

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Nov 26

MM ANON … “ it’s a Mozzi bite …… wed-ding-a-ling …… “my advice ‘ have it in Italy”’…… “ She’s crippled with shame”……… “I saw her with archificial yesterday in Waitrose,“ …… “from Windsor to Winnipeg”. ……… Andy, Charles and Clarence ,……”thanksgiving ‘ darling she went back to LA”…… “ but ,but, but the SOOOOOOPKITCHEN!!! “…… spin ,grin and a bottle of gin…… 🎼”I’m dreaming of a ( WOC) Christmas “🎼……… “Sandringham old thing, fuck the election”. …… “ ones duty first Philip”……… “ don’t mention him”

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*** Nov 27. Answer

MM ANON, DEAR ANONS, TO BE HONEST, I didn’t even know where Winnipeg was!! I was speculating where nutmeg was going to end up at Christmas? I now know that I’ve upset the whole pop. of Winnipeg……… SO SORRY ! Sorry PG. 💜💜💜💜💜

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Nov 27

MM ANON … Archificial carves the Turkey …… Megan BURNS the gravy……Frogmore or LESS… ” Harry PULLS a CRACKER”… Dorito’ where is Dorito??…… An-drew the short straw… Con-sort it out Charles … swimmingly!!🦄🦎 …… “ the general public would lap it up your Highness” …… “ little stars”……… 🎼four and twenty Black-Birds🎼…… “Frozen film party at KP”…… “Darling I’ll cook, how many?”…… “14, no problem!!”…… “a ten pounder”…… “Kate’s cooking old thing”…… “another drink Philip?”… “wait till Christmas Eve !!”

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Nov 28

MM ANON ……… pencil thin 👀…… 👧👦🏼👶🎡🎢🎠……… maple, leaf it alone ……… 🛩who knows?……… “one has responsibilities Charles”……… “ six weeks’ and they can’t show the bloody baby.”…… “flown out , bloody good job!!”……… send up the menu!! …… very secure ma’am!! ……… all those SS chappies…… “ I hear she’s quiet the English Rose” ……… “ if only!!”……… “good stock, don’t cha’ know”…… DEEP and CRISP and IVAN…… He’ll stop their extravagant travel. ……… “ charades ,old thing”. …” pass the parcel,Philip!!”

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Nov 29

MM ANON …… 🎼 build it up with wood and clay🎼 ……… a crown script …… Harry’s rapid response …… the wrong side of the tunnel ……… “give time,time old boy”……… “ if it was Good enough for HM”……… tagged ,bad, and dangerous to know ……… look ,listen and learn ……… black fry-day……”nowhere as secluded as Sandringham”……… “she’s a beauty mate, breath of fresh air”

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Nov 30

MM ANON ……… “Darling’ please pass the Wrinkle cream” ………”she’s on this blog I read”💜……… “ we’ve been invited to the Boxing Day shoot” …… WoW ‘ that’s a beautiful photo Kate …… “he’s to young ‘ good grief William!!”…… ‘This cobra has no fangs ……… “The service, maybe bring C&G.” ……… “ The spring diary ma’am’ was thinking they could do The America’s and Canada” ……… “ the Children too”…… “what say you Philip?” …… “indubitable , old thing” …… “ Settled!!”……” Sidney’ more refreshments”

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Dec 1

MM ANON, I’m watching series 1 of the crown, BRILLIANTLY WRITTEN AND EDITED. The filming is so accurate and attention to detail. I remember Norman Hartnell designing the Queens wardrobe for the commonwealth tour. My mother was a dress-maker so I watched everything she watched. Methinks the Queen had something to do with this because it’s so accurate. Reason, she’s 92 ‘ what a visual legacy. I can imagine her throwing a ashtray at Philip, and HIS secret dalliances. EPIC!!

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[mysticorset]

The thrilling end of the Summer Garden Saga!

This whole summer was disappointingly un-sunny (thanks for the climate change, Big Oil!) so I only got about 8 ears of corn actually grow. At least 1 of them were stolen, and the rest just didn't fully develop. The tomatoes were similarly stunted and slow though there were a whole bunch of them.

Today I finally pulled the trigger and harvested. This is the best of my harvest. I got 4 ears of corn that could be removed. Nearly the entire tomato bush is inedible. I got green 2 tomatoes (which I am told will ripen on the counter) that were not already partially eaten by some kind of pests or - and this is the real kick in the pants - splattered with house paint because the condo association's contractors figured that no precautions were necessary when repainting the trim. The entire bush was covered in a fine mist of white paint, and also generally trampled for reasons unknown.

#Garden plot

[guardian-of-da-gay]

idk if any of y’all saw/remember me saying we were having flea problems at my house but HA while I was away for spring break we hired a guy to clear our overgrown yard (which ended up being a whole called-the-police type saga) but that inspired the fleas in the yard to come inside and now the house is legit Infested and I have so many bites on me I look like I have chicken pox.  We got a pest control guy coming today but I’m still here to complain into the void because I was gonna start volunteering at a wildlife center today but the director told me I shouldn’t come cuz I might infest baby animals (just imagine the gif of Stitch crying and that’s me rn).  ANYWAY I’m dropping a lot of money to fix the situation so just coincidentally here’s a link to my Ko-fi account.

#personal #fleas #pls don't tell me to just vaccuum or use some natural remedy #we r well past that point #I've been using (expensive) lice-killing shampoo to keep them off my face #idk what i'm gonna do if the pest control dude can't take care of it

[techstartro]

#RavePlane #SAGAFestival