#i dont know if ill ever feel so indulged again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

allexiaah · 2 years

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Are there any songs (or other media) you associate with DBD characters?

Ayyy hi Lowkey, ty for the ask! Or asks if but I'm getting this one done because I've left you waiting for a hot minute lmao.

A song I've been listening to a lot recently that I can't pin to an exact character, but kind of fits DbD really well to me and I felt would be worth putting here as well is COUNT THOSE FREAKS by Whitey. Good chunk of the lyrics fit really well imo.

For DbD characters, I have a decent handful actually! I've made some playlists for them. I'll share a couple! Unsurprisingly, I have a decent chunk for Claudette, and for Philip too.

For Claudette, two I associate heavily with her are Quiet by Lights, and Plant Life by Owl City.

For Philip, I have Hollow by Cloudeater, Black Cat by Never Shout Never, and White Face, Black Eyes by AJJ. I have a WHOLE lot more for him that I feel really fit him, but I'll leave it at 3 for this.

For other characters, Nightmares & Flare Guns by Seb Adams is a song I feel really fits Quentin, Ghosts With Heartbeats by Plastic Patina I associate with the Nurse, Leopard by Jack Stauber I associate with Ace, and After Party by Air Traffic Controller is a song I heavily associate with all of the Legion.

Sharing music is something that's actually very personal to me, and something I really enjoy doing, especially with people I am on good terms with and really like, or want to get to know better. just people with good vibes to me ig? I've only rly described it right once, because it's very hard to place, but music is very important to me, and I always enjoy sharing it with people I think might enjoy it, or at least give it a shot, even if it might not be their thing. Feels like sharing a piece of my soul, kind of. I dunno lol.

Thanks for the ask again dude. Very good one. I'll get to the other one in a sec here! This was a very nice one to receive and to answer ^^

#allex answers #lowk3ylucky #ask #again dude. tysm for indulging in my garbage for a second lmao. or enabling it? something like that haha #ik usually its a funny haha allex still cares about dbd even tho its a shit game with the friend group but like #man its a hyperfixation. love these characters n worldbuilding so much. ive had a lot of fun with it. huge fan of it so #it means a lot that youre willing to send asks that give me the opportunity to share things im very fond of about this game #or little things like music i associate with characters and stuff like that #usually im a little disinclined to share this kind of thing on my own because i think it might bug ppl lol. idk my brain is weird #also if anyone read this far into the tags please know my asks are always open and anon is almost always on because #i really really enjoy answering these questions n stuff!! and i feel like i have an excuse to ramble when i get an ask about stuff lol #so if you ever are curious about anything i think or want to hear some of my ideas please dont be afraid to!!#sometimes im slow to answer hhhh but thats a me thing i PROMISE ill get to it. PROMISE.#my stuff #oof i wrote so much that prolly wont show in my tag search but fuckit im not deleting these LOL

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ronkeyroo · 3 months

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A positive Update

Friends, kind folk - Hello Again 🤍

Ever since my last update post, I've been thinking about it , a lot ;; I knew I needed time to cook and reflect, and im so glad I gave myself that...

2024 started rough for me; I fell severely ill again - I was too busy cursing my life and dwelling over how betrayed I felt by things still not getting better despite my efforts that I didn't realize I was walking into a self fulfilling prophecy. Its true that the struggles I'm going through are yet to be solved, that its gotten so much to the point giving up seemed easier, and that a couple individuals haven't been making it easier on me either; I swayed and i rattled and I steered within feelings ranging from confusion to anger to dismay and all of this back and forth did nothing but remind me of yet another self-destructive loop I just don't want to allow in my life anymore. Its exactly the kinda stuff that made me ill to begin with, and I've been so lost dealing with everything in between that i forgot to tend to the actual core centering all of this...

It grew unbearable how much emotional and physical turmoil I was pushing myself into, and knowing how intertwined these two elements have been; I had to draw a line before i majorly screwed myself over, gathering any bit of inner will to discipline myself back into some sort of clarity, enough to at least look through a lens OUTSIDE my pain for once, towards the kind of life I want to lead, and the kind of life I don't; and I came to an understanding.

From my physical state to my mental, to the people and memories I've experienced, both the good and the bad - I want to prioritize the good.

Not in a shitty ass, toxic optimism kinda way but in a "I want to prioritize knowing and living the possibility that even when it hurts, even when i want to be gone, even when life doesn't align - There's still every good reason in the world to keep moving forward, to face things from a perspective of growth & compassion, and to grow to love the promise of a better tomorrow even when today was unbearable." To know that I don't end or begin in my suffering, that the infinite potential I speak so fondly of applies to me, as well...

I want to be able to wield and create and share that goodness, too, Especially when it is already in decline...And for all gods sake, to internalize that all of this STILL exists and STILL matters even when it doesn't work the first couple or dozens of times.

As for my place here in Tumblr...I know the sentiment might feel silly to some but the experiences, memories, and connections I've made here have truly been such a significant force in my life, and i don't want to give up on that ;; Not because of my own insecurities, or an inner state of hopelessness, and especially not over a bunch of emotionally immature Anons that dont know how to handle themselves; I want to forgive all of that.

I'm stubborn, and there's an unyielding force within me that no matter how many times it is struck down, it proved itself ridiculously resilient. I'm perking up with with a fiery confidence realizing just how many times it rose back up, enough to realize it is an unchangeable part of me ;_; I shouldn't underestimate that force, and I want to keep living by its side. Whatever positive change I can sprinkle onto my life and the lives of those I care for, I will! And the reason why this space in particular is so important to me, is because so much of that already exists here, alongside you folks;

THAT'S the kind of energy i want to nourish and walk into the new year with! I want to continue growing as a person, challenging my inner turmoils, undoing the self punishing dogmas that still haunt me, stop flexing my teeth over things that don't deserve my time and god DAMN, just - indulge in the stuff that makes me happy, even when I'm going through unhappy times.

So yeah...I guess that means, I'm back & I'm staying ;_;)🧡

I know i may seem like a broken record when it comes to expressing gratitude but - Thank you, thank you thank you everyone who have reached out for me, who so fondly kept me in their thoughts and kept encouraging me whenever i was hurting, both then and now...You folks mean more than whatever ailment or struggle I can go through, and while I'm unsure of how the future will look like as I'm still going through various challenges- I couldn't have asked for a cooler, sweeter audience to have by my side whenever Its time to take a rest or hype over our sexy delicious blorbos!

Speaking of which....................I have been cooking quite a lot of things in the time i was away 👀✨ I most definitely intend to serve them, eheheh

#Ronkey Posts #Waving a tired yet happy hello #Back from the dead and ready to SLAY or just to relax and chill and remember that goodness is a force undying ;_;#i missed you folks so much...

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creelteeth · 2 years

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youre laying on robin’s bed, reading to her. robin says she loves the sound of your voice, so you indulge her. she always does anything you ever ask of her, who are you to reject those pretty blues? robins face is buried in the side of your stomach, lips ghosting over the dip in your waist, her shirt that you borrowed rucked up in her attempts to get comfortable. her nimble fingers trace up and down your inner thigh, from the the soft thin skin at the top all the way down to your knee. robin says your thighs are heavenly soft and she sleeps best after shes touched them. you like how it feels too. warm and safe and loved and… and tingly. you notice her fingers climbing higher with each stroke. those familiar tingles that you always get when robin touches you come back. this time though, she goes higher than shes ever gone. the back of her knuckles nudge against your puffy mound bringing a new sensation along with them. you gasp, stuttering through the sentence you were reading. robin picks her head up and furrows her brows at you, lips downturned. the picture of concern. “are you alright?” “…yeah, im okay” she lays back down and keeps stroking your thigh. a few minutes later, she nudges you again. harder. this time, you muffle your gasp as best you can. the next time, she stops. her knuckles had pushed your cotton panties into your slit, making you whimper. “alright, whats wrong? youre acting weird” you stay quiet. robin says to never lie to her. friends dont lie, especially best friends. “it feels weird” “what, the book?” “no” “then what?” “it feels weird when u touch me there” “but i always touch your thighs?” “not my thighs!” you get frustrated. its awkward to talk about and youre not even sure how to phrase it without sounding crass. “where does it feel weird, pretty?” “my…” “your?” she wants you to say it, you realize. “my… vagina.” “vagina?!” she barks out laughing. “who are you, mr. clark?” she asks, referring the sex ed teacher you shared in middle school all those years ago. “people call it a pussy now, babe” “okay, it feels weird when you touch my.. pussy” “weird how? good weird or bad weird?” “i dont know. tingly and… and warm.” “okay ill stop then” “okay” she returns to her position and you yours. she keeps stroking your thigh but stopping multiple inches before your… pussy. it then you start to crave the feeling. you realize you want her to touch you again. you want her to touch your pussy again. “robin?” “yeah” “can you do it again?” “do what?” you pause and sigh. shes teasing you. “can you touch my pussy again? please?” robin says she crumbles when you say please. she groans and shoves her face into your stomach. “and i was just about to say no!” shes kidding, you know that, but still you frown. she looks up at you and shakes her head. “dont worry bub, ill do it. you want me to touch your pussy?” you nod. as she reaches to pull your underwear down, you scrambled to grab them back with wide eyes. “hey, you said you wanted me to touch you?” “you dont need to take them off!” you squeal. robin looks at you for a moment before smiling. “no ones ever seen you before, huh? no ones seen your pretty little pussy before, have they?” you look down and shake your head in shame. she places a finger under your chin and makes you look at her once more. “its okay. i wont judge you. youre the bestest friend ive ever had.” “do best friends do this? touch each others.. pussies?” you stutter over the plural of the new word. and then robin says, “all the time. its what friends are for.”

“all the time, it’s what friends are for.” ugh!! that line. she makes my brain so fuzzy.

she does her best to assure you that everything is fine and normal, that she won’t do anything that you don’t want her to do.

when you finally agree and your tensed up frame softens under her, she takes another shot at it— hooking her fingers in the waistband of your underwear pulling them off in one fell swoop. chills rise on your skin at the cool air hitting against your hot and wet cunt, that of which she takes note of. freckled lips curling up into a soft grin, slotting herself between your thighs to kiss as the frigid skin.

“ s’okay, just relax.” she hums between kisses, each one bringing her closer and closer to where you need her most.

you hide your face beneath your hands, unable to look down at the lewd event happening below your waist. muffled whimpers spilling from you when she finally gets close enough your slick covered pussy.

“such a—“ robin coos, lips grazing over the soft skin of your chubby lips. “..pretty little pussy you’ve got. bet you’ve never even seen it yourself. s’ a shame. it’s gorgeous. bet it tastes even better than it looks.”

she rambled on a bit, pausing between words to lay wet kisses to your spread open cunt. each touch , whether it be from her mouth or her fingers made you jump or whine. it was precious the way you reacted. she wondered if she could make you cum from just this— from just kissing on that swollen little bundle of nerves.

“robin.” you breathed, hips instinctively scooting away from the feel of her lips on your sex.

her hands soothed over your thighs, massaging them gently to try to loosen the tension in your muscles.

“if you want me to stop, we can stop.” robin hummed, hot breath fanning over your slippery folds.

“no! n-no keep going, please. hurts. my.. my pussy hurts.” you propped yourself up on your elbows, looking down at her with big pitiful eyes.

those puppy dog eyes filled to the brim with confusion and some guilt you didn’t quite understand yet. though— above all that you looked desperate. needy. and it was driving robin absolutely fucking wild.

“alright, alright. gonna take care of it, just stay still for me. have you ever had anyone you, here? what am i saying, of course you haven’t. poor thing got all wet from hardly anything. bet you’ve never even cum before, huh?” she taunted you a bit, words tumbling out of her mouth, her lips grazing your clit with every words. it was torture.

you cowered against the pillows at her questions, not knowing how to answer them. felt embarrassing to admit that you had no idea what any of this was suppose to be like. it was fine though, you trusted robin. she didn’t need any answer anyway, just wanted to see what her words would do to that perfect cunt of yours. and did exactly what she expected— she watched in satisfaction as it leaked. slick pooling around the unfucked opening. poor thing, she thought. watching the way you were throbbing and clenching so eagerly.

robin couldn’t handle the taunting anymore than you could— raising your thighs up a bit more to spread your cunt open wider for her she began to lick through your folds. laying a few languid stripes between them before moving up to attach her lips to your engorged clit. the tip of her tongue swirled around it, tracing under the hood before cupping around it to add to the suction.

“oh! robin- oh my god. feels so..” you choked on your words.

she hummed against you, the added vibration causing your head to fall back against the pillows— hips raising up to push her face deeper past your puffy lips. she wasn’t being as gentle as you would’ve expected, the entire ordeal overwhelming you in a way you didn’t understand. it was almost too much. nearing an edge that felt uncomfortable.

robin carried on, suckling on the throbbing button, her hands squeezing your thighs to keep you still. that overwhelming feeling starting to build rather quickly. felt like a burning pit in your stomach— felt like you needed to pee, if we’re being honest. your hand dropped down to rake through her hair, nails lightly scratching over her scalp.

“r-robin, s’too much. feels funny.” you panted, your hips beginning to rock upwards.

your slick covered pussy rutted against her face— you didn’t even realize you were doing it. she didn’t mind though, enjoying how easy it was to have you unravel underneath her.

that high hit you very quickly. slamming into you like a truck into a wall, it was something you’d never felt before. your thighs tightened, squeezing around the sides of her head, body writhing as you sobbed out a mess of her name and religious praises. it was an interesting mix of robin and oh my god.

after you’d finally settled, robin sat back up to look at you. her mouth still shining from the mess of your arousal. she admired you as you were for a moment, your pitiful fucked out face staring up at hers.

“robin— that was..” you exhaled, thighs squeezing which in turn let out a very wet sound that made your body want to shrivel in on itself.

she couldn’t help but smile, crawling up to hover over you. her face only inches to yours she planted a kiss to your lips, giving you a taste of yourself. “see? told you it would taste good. better than good.”

you didn’t quite know what to say, your body still feeling like it was on pins and needle from the events that just took place. mind spinning on the subject matter of if stuff like this happens at sleepovers all the time? if that was the case why didn’t anyone ever talk about it?

“robin?” you spoke, pulling the blanket up over your bare legs.

“hm?”

“is that really what best friends do for each other? they.. touch each other?” you questioned, voice cracking a bit.

“yeah baby, everyone does it. people just don’t talk about it cause it only happens when they’re like.. super duper close. it’s like a spit shake.. or blood brothers but for girls, y’know?” she explained very nonchalantly, almost making you feel bad for questioning her.

“oh— okay. so, am i suppose to um.. do the same to you? e-eat your pussy, now?” you spoke wearily, curiosity peaking at the idea of touching her in the same manner. the thought making your hips stir.

“no, baby. not now at least. maybe some day. we gotta get you warmed all the way up first. “

#anon you deserve to have YOUR pussy eaten for this!!#casey writes #robin buckley smut #robin buckley x reader #robin buckley blurb

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smirnoffswitchblade · 2 months

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♡⸝⸝ about me .ᐟ

includes: introduction, dni/byf, etc . . .

— Finally im making an introduction after putting it off for a bit out of shyness (and laziness..+ being nervous, but i need to push myself to do things sometimes.) but i thought its time you guys know a little bit more about me! ^^

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒𓈒⠀. 𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

‼️ • MDNI • ‼️

♡ ····· introduction

• Hello there!! im Sammy, but i prefer to be called Sakura if we aren’t extremely close. <3

• Im 20 years old! Im also a biracial lady, Bisexual, and my pronouns are She/Her! Please refer to me as so when talking to/about me.

• Some of my hobbies include : Cosplay, editing, drawing, photography (beginner), dancing, gaming, writing, reading, and baking!

• I like to associate myself with certain animals, specifically raccoons/deer/rag-doll cats/lambs/bats! Personally i think they fit me very well..so thats why you may see me repost those specific animals from time to time. (cause i think they’re me! ^^)

Tagged with: #irlsaku

• My few of my interests are cosplay, video games, anime, manga, flowers, greek mythology, herbology, nymphology, gloomy coquette and lolita fashion. among others too!

• i love many little men right now..but mainly ive been very lovey dovey over ren hana/fox, strade, lawrence oleander, sano kojima and vincent metzger! their just my favorites at the moment and i tend to self indulge in a bunch of selfshipping with them (persona x canon and oc x canon too!..maybe i will post my btd/tpof ocs here someday.)

♡ ····· DNI / BYF

• DNI: Minors, ageless blogs, zoos/maps, ableist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, anti-xeno/neopronouns, i dont really have a big dni but these are my mains. I block freely.

• BYF: This account is my primary blog and it’s mostly just for me posting/spamming my brainrot of 18+ medias! (also made for self indulgence and other things but i wont speak on that too much) So please please if you are under the age of 18 or do not have an age stating that you are an adult in your bio you will be blocked! This blog and content is not made for your eyes to see and you can get others and the creators in legal trouble and yourself. Please stay safe and take care of yourself, Thank you.

• If you are not a minor but cant handle the topics/media that will be posted on my blog please don’t follow me, this blog again is simply for my hyper-fixations of 18+ medias, my own enjoyment, and more. Don’t hurt/trigger yourself intentionally by looking at the things i put here, and please look out for your wellbeing because you are special! <3 Thank you!

My sfw blog is @crunchysugarr so i wont mix my other medias with this one!

• I have ADHD/PTSD/anxiety and depression, please be mindful of these things when choosing to interact with me whether its in dms or my ask box!

• You can send anything (quite literally anything..) in my asks! I don’t mind it, but ill ignore it if i don’t feel comfortable answering it or if it makes me feel some type of way. Please remember i may take time to reply to them if you ever do send anything to my inbox. (I also ask that you don’t send me irl gore/animal gore/cp/etc in my ask box.)

- I tag my posts with my own hashtags, heres a few of them so you wont be confused about what I’m specifically trying to post!

- aesthetic: #sakuaesth

- rambling: #sakubabbles

- regular blogging: #sakuposting🌸

(This could change overtime but i don’t know if they will but if they do I’ll let you all know! I hate confusing others on accident, hope this helps somewhat!)

• Im still pretty new to the Boyfriend to Death fandom and other fandoms on here too, I’m always learning something new about these pieces of media every single day! so please don’t get upset if i say anything not really lore accurate (?) i guess.

• You can always dm me or reply in my posts freely! But please ask to dm me in my ask box if you do want to talk to me in private, i usually only chat on tumblr and not discord because only people i’m closest to have my discord. But feel free to ask to dm me and we can talk here on tumblr if thats fine with you <3

• Please be patient when it comes to me replying to messages/asks. Sometimes it can be a bit overwhelming knowing i have to reply to so many people so i may take some time to get back to you all depending on whats going on with me that day, i do have a life outside of tumblr thats way different from how i appear online! But just know i have no intentions of ignoring anybody, i just wanna try and talk to new people for once.

Note: i tend to use emoticons only because i just think they’re adorable simply and i like to use them when texting! (i dont know why i feel the need to specify this so much, or anything else for that matter..but i did!)

♡ ····· other / extra things

ill try and make this as short as possible so you wont have to do too much more reading.. sorry about that!! ^_^’

• on this account the specific content i intend to post is boyfriend to death (1&2), the price of flesh, ykmet, degrees of lewdity, lovers trophy, courtin’ cowboys, this is not romance, and Saw (2004)!

• i can give out some of my other socials below so feel free to follow them if you’d like to, or don’t! i would never force anything upon you or anyone. <3

Twitter: @/crunchysugarr

Pinterest: (the same as my twitter user)

• and i think thats really pretty much everything! i hope you enjoy my company and my blog, if theres any other questions you wanna ask to know other things about me that aren’t listed here then you are free to shoot me an ask anytime! (no pressure of course <3.) Im sure we will become good friends someday! take care ♡

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prompts-weight-in-gold · 10 months

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text prompts stolen from my groupchats p. 4

[text] i just came here to fix my insecurities not to like improve myself as a person [text] you’re gonna get a good grade in being a special little white girl [text] *snaps my bones to make me sharper* that beast is goin down [text] it could also be that I’m hallucinating but isn’t that just a symptom of womanhood anyway [text] i have no connection to reality and my untethered existence to anything but the void will either be a curse or a blessing and i dont know if i have any sway over which it decides to be [text] wig? on what cause? [text] im making a discord channel no one can post in just to pretend i can ever get some peace and quiet around here [text] im making all pokemon latino now. dúskul [text] noooooo baby dont restrict my use of internet shorthand ur so sexy aha [text] all men are clowns one way or another might as well find one who knows it [text] move over asimov's laws 'no significant crimes' is here to fuckin party [text] es siempre la hora de morbo [text] the face distracts while the hands attack [text] wow you would talk about history when you know colonialism took history away from me? [text] im not getting into heaven but i will be ready to court the devil with my sultry words [text] if you can’t find an emo in the wild, but have some patience, you can always just kill a smiley kid’s parents then wait [text] blonde bitpulls are still poc (pets of color) theyre just light skin [text] you’re handsome but also look like someone who forgets their wallet a lot [text] these devilish indulgences are the delights of the bourgeoisie while my proletarian citizens starve [text] at least ur keeping him off the streets [text] if i go too long without moisturizing i can physically feel my skin file a complaint. like before i even get dry i get the sensation of my cells pulling out lil pens to fill out a form [text] he has whiskers on his face i always thought naruto was a catboy [text] i couldn’t even give up cussing for ramadan so... [text] switching apps is the new walking through a doorway [text] god is real and he likes to make me suffer in new and mundane ways [text] on this day chaos has lost a finger of its chokehold grip on humanity’s pulse [text] a divorce is just a permanent block [text] if you say that to me again ill pull out your tattoo [text] if people have to see me they have to really see me [text] am I not coherent enough for you???? do you know who I am???? [text] the rules are mere crumbs and we are the cosmic brooms sweeping them under the rug of possibility [text] first point? amazing, flawless, wonderful. second point? stop appropriating gothness

#text prompts #rp starters #roleplay meme #funny #friendship

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feddy-fagbear · 23 days

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Drop lore of your silly oc's on to me my friend!!!

hi, epic, im tipsy again so we're gonna ramble aboot cyril cuz hes my fav

so- like- i kinda talk abt him but not really cuz i suck and see no reason to talk abt his actual lore unless people ask cuz fuck me ig it feels very... self indulgent in a way i dont care for???

anywyas i feel like i should skip all the shitty triggering stuff of his past cuz like- i mean here's the thing, you wanna find out abt it? hit me up, but i feel bad talking abt it??? at least without someone searching it out lol (perhaps its cuz im drunk and know i wont have the tact to discuss it lmao)

anyways lets get into sillier things abt him

so like i kinda talk abt the fact he's kinda-not-really-but-close-enough dating william, yeah? yeah. i dont think ive ever went right out n said it but he is. its something i always feel embarrassed talking abt and then people hear abt it and then go "wait but they kinda work toegther" whcih is always so funny to me????

like- yknow- cyril's a silly lil cannibalistic murderer who's schizophrenic and so easy to manipulate into doing things he wouldnt notmally do and isnt that exactly what you want in a guy?

.... dont answer that-

anyways thats his deal, and hes ever eager to please considering he has his own assortment of daddy issues stemming from his father just... hating him tbh (THERES REASONS THEYRE JUST FUNNY TO IGNORE)

and in turn he gets his fucking organs scooped out except this is the movie timeline so its unique and fun and not michael's schtick at all because- listen just shut up okay? he gets his innards replaced with robot bits and thats cool to me, and yeah thats why he was doped up in that oneshot, yeah he;s kindafucked up

oh yeah also he raises ducks. this is a random fact but his pet duck, ruth, is the most important thing to him and therefore needs to be mentioned.

beyond that, uh- he's also an alcoholic and wishes he could be a father but notably is 1) too gay for that and 2) mentally ill for that, which yknow- how ironic amirite? but yknow sometimes you gotta give a guy some issues lmao

.... none of this was coherent and i know it wasnt so im so sorry. i just- im just insane

#oc posting

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witchersmistress · 11 months

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The Betrayal

Hello my darlings just a quick snippet chapter from the events after the bomb but before the next steps

My usual warning darlings dont steal my work

word count: 1.2K

my usual warnings, you do not have permission to copy my work in any shape way or form, if you do ill find you and haunt you for the rest of your days

Harpers POV

I fight to keep from stumbling back at the force of the blow. I’ve always known it was coming, and yet, somehow it stuns me more than the fucking car bomb under August’s hood. “What?” I manage, because yeah, I’m a masochist who needs to hear it again. “I’ll get your shit out of my car and bring it by tonight,” August says. “Are you fucking kidding me?” I ask. “We have one fight and you’re ending this?” “Yes.” “You’re unbelievable,” I say. “You were just waiting for this all along, weren’t you?” “Yes,” he says again, his voice emotionless. “Wow. So all along, you were just waiting for an excuse to dump me.

The first sign of a disagreement, and you go running.” “It wasn’t a disagreement,” he says. “You took their side. I knew you would. But that was always going to be the end.” I fight back an incredulous laugh. “What—is this another one of your tests? Did you actually bomb your own car to see if I’d choose you over them?” A flicker of annoyance shows in his face. “I wouldn’t damage my car for you.” I cross my arms over my chest. “You’re wrong,” I say.

“I didn’t take their side. I chose you. I chose to fight what you’re doing because it hurts you, August, not them. I barely know them. But I know you. And I know this isn’t good for you. I know you’re better than this. That you can be better.” “You don’t know me,” he says flatly. “Or you’d know that’s a bullshit excuse for what you just did.” “You know what I think, August? I think you’re scared that you actually feel something for once in your life. That you’re scared that I understand you and that I still care about you even though you don’t think you deserve it. You’re a big strong man who likes to be in control, and it pisses you off that you can’t control any of this. You can’t handle that, and this lame excuse is the best you can come up with for bailing on the best thing that’s happened to you in years.”

The corner of his mouth tugs up in an indulgent smile, and he reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “You give yourself too much credit, Cherry Pie,” he says. “The only thing that happened to me is that I found another slut who spread her legs and let me fuck her in all three holes until I got bored of them all.” “You’re a bad liar, August.” It’s not true, though. His words cut deeper than I’ll ever let him know. “And you were a pretty plaything,” he says, his smile tender, almost apologetic. “But that’s all you are. It was fun seeing what I could get you to do, but once I knew you were desperate enough to stoop to any level for my pleasure, it was only a matter of time. You’re all used up and worn out now. And I don’t fuck loose girls, so I won’t be seeing you again.”

He turns and walks away, leaving me seething mad on step. I want to yell after him, but I won’t be quite that pathetic, so I turn and slam into the house instead. I hope he fucks three different girls, and they each give him a new disease.

August POV

Walking away from her, Harper, was one of the hardest things to date I've ever had to do. I didnt turn back as I heard her front door slam on me for the last time. My heart, that blasted thing, grew heavier with each step back to Duke’s Hummer. Getting back into the driver’s seat Duke was scrolling on his phone “So how did it go?” he asked “Fuck off Duke” Baron tsked from his position “Someone needs to get laid, but judging from her reaction, that isnt happen anytime soon” i rolled my eyes and rolling my shoulders and neck, the bones popping with tension. I met Baron’s gaze head on as I backed out of the driveway. “Sometimes Braon, i really wished mom had swallowed you both” a sharp glare was all i got from Baron, Duke letting out a sharp whistle “Damn dude that was harsh”

“Does not make it true,” I pointed out. Swinging back into the work parking lot, I go to my rover and get my stuff and Harper's bag out of my car and throw them in the trunk of Dukes hummer before taking off again. Punching in the code for the gate i drive in and jump out of the vehicle making my way into the house away from the twins, they can go fuck themselves at the moment. I don't wish to deal with them. Stalking into my office i slam the door, what i didn't tell my brothers when i pulled out myself from the car, there was a note on my driver side door,

“Get rid of her or i will”

I don't know who wrote it, I wasn't going to find out. I wouldn't put her in harm's way. I don't know when or how this turned from a game to my genuine caring for the girl but it did. Undoing my tie and throwing it, raking a hand through my hair. I fumed on my decision.

Was it necessary to let her go? Yes it was. Did I want to? Absolutely not but it was safer for her that way. Those soft curves, the long hair that was absolutely perfect for tugging on while she sucked my cock. Those brown eyes that looked so innocent but there was a succubus underneath those dark pools that begged to come out. And her tight wet heat was just.. Fucking my cock started to harden at the though of plunging in and out of her dripping wet cunt as she screamed my name and claw my arms as she spirals out of control…

Banging on the door drew me back to reality.. My ragging cock quickly deflated at the interruption. “What the fuck do you want” Baron openend the door and walked in. he is up to something that motherfucker always is. “Whoa busy were you? I can come back later?” taking the gun out of the back of my jeans and waving it at him before i tucked it into its spot in my safe “What do you want Baron?” I huffed, tired of this conversation already. “I'd like to rest before we go off on assignment in the morning.” He gave me a wicked smirk and tossed me Harper's phone. “It appears our little Cherry Pie isn't as sweet as she claims to be” he cocked a brow and then pulled out his phone.

I opened her phone and saw all the messages,I was blown away. She wasn't who she said she was… Son of a bitch, she was a spy for the Darlings i fucking knew something was off about her. Looking back up at Baron, the darkness of my soul seeped out with every word I spoke. “ She is going to pay, they all will.” “How?” Baron asked, i locked eyes with him this time not a single emotion in my voice “She is going to pay with her life”

#henry cavill #august walker imagines #henrycavill smut #august walker fanfic #august walker fanfiction #henry cavill characters #august walker #henry cavill imagine

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futurama · 2 years

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Ok then what are your headcanons for Dave? Do you think he's friend with/talks to Dirk or nah? Also I love your fat Dave.

THANK YOU FOR ASKING lets fucking do this

first things first hell yeah dave is fat. personally i think if you imagine dave as a fat guy while reading homestuck it makes the experience twenty times better and is guaranteed to make you love him more. bro did wonders starving him as a child but in these present times you will rarely ever see dave without a little snack nearby, the man loves to indulge in whatever he can get his hands on and keep him busy

keep him busy in what ways? <-- thats you asking me to elaborate and i will oblige happily ^_^ one of THE traits of a strider is to have trauma and obviously dave is riddled with it quite disgustingly if you ask me, and while time heals all wounds i do think that dave would prefer to keep busy with one thing or another so not to be left alone too long with his thoughts. growing up under bros watchful shades has left dave very depressed and very paranoid (cameras around the apartment, being ambushed, etc etc) which leads me into the physical part of his trauma

its kind of funny to think of a world where dave ISNT physically disabled from getting his ass beat every day for 13 years. i dont think bro would be one to hold back from breaking a bone or two or seven during those vital years of growth and he definitely wouldnt be willing to take dave to a hospital because...hes bro strider...why the hell would he. the most hed do is try to set straight whatever needed to be set and wrap it tight and send dave on his way which ultimately leads to dave having quite a few painful fucked up limbs - which brings the cane into the picture! wahoo! walking can be very painful for dave and he prefers to use his cane when hes doing it, and if youre ever out with him youd better be prepared to sit down every now and then so the poor guy can catch a break

ok moving on....i do think dirk and dave talk. again very funny to think of a world where they drift apart or dont get along after their initial meeting in the comic because while it started out rough (obviously. duh! why wouldnt it) they were both smart and understanding enough to talk things out friendship style and made it clear that they care for one another on a level they dont consider their other friends to be on. and i dont mean that in a "they value each other over anyone else now" type of friendship i just know that with them its different and dare i say special. i think dave dumped everything bro had done to him on dirk in a fit of emotion but the way dirk handled it was better than any of the beta kids had (they really dropped the ball on that) and for once in his life dave felt listened to. and im not neglecting the conversations he had with rose, but i do think that when he talked to her it felt more like he was being observed under a microscope rather than being heard. i have a lot to say about how dirk and dave feel for one another but ill spare you the reading and say...they are best friends, and they love each other

i like to think that after the events of homestuck that dave, after being miserable in the game and then being cooped up on the meteor, would absolutely go off to live on his own. i dont believe hed isolate himself completely but i do think hed just be....exhausted. i know he loves his friends and he would visit them from time to time, but i know after everything hed end up spending a good chunk of time with dirk

god what else. im such a fan of albino dave, and i think of him as intersex, which coincidentally go hand in hand under chimerism, theoretically. hes bisexual, and has a very healthy amount of autism and adhd. overall i think dave has had some rough patches but grows up to be sweeter than hed like to let on. ill spare you anymore reading and end it there, thanks for asking again! ^_^

#homestuck #dave strider #hermitcyclop

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isabelguerra · 1 year

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sexuality hcs for the main cast? :D

NO idea what brought this on but yeah sure! unless stated otherwise my work usually writes everyone bi by default, even if they haven’t realized it yet, but it can be really fun to play with different interpretations too. honestly its not something i think about often or keep too rigid, sometimes it depends on what kind of story im writing and what messages i want to convey. but sometimes we stay silly

- isabel max johnny violet are bi

- isaac dimitri stephen are gay

- ollie tends to flip between ‘future bear’ and ‘token straight friend’ it usually depends which is funnier in context

- lisa and suzy being lesbians has always been a constant in my brain

- if im feeling REALLY indulgent ill spice max up with some lesbianism. hit him with the dyke beam

- ed usually isnt cis to me so whatever goes on there tends to switch up a lot. i dont try to name it i just focus on feeling it. when ed IS cis i think him being the token straight friend is pretty funny. like hes the really enthusiastic type but means well.

- RJ is similar to ed. sometimes i like them as a lesbian. sometimes i like them not interested in anyone. sometimes i like shipping them w ed. sometimes other ppl. theyre a really fun character to write actually

- jeff is gay but he doesn’t realize for a long long time. where everyone else is a bit more comfortable with themselves hes still got a lot of low self esteem and internalized stuff going on, not in a constantly sad way but like he’ll be the type to think ‘man i wish *I* could marry my best friend! too bad im straight haha’ or like when theyre teens he kisses cody and has a crisis over liking it before thinking ‘wait! what am i worrying about! codys gay, yeah, so maybe it meant something to him, but im not gay so that means i dont have anything to worry about. i should focus on supporting my good friend. its totally cool if he kisses me because im straight so its like a pass!’ he is wrong and he is gay

- whenever i write izjo its always bi. if anything their bisexuality makes a bigger spectacle out of how they like an opposing gender rather than liking their own which i always get a huge kick out of bc its as if i got so accustomed to being around gay people irl and online that sga became the norm and i had to remind myself that mf couples exist and its an option and its okay. there are a couple works ive never posted where this is actually like THE central theme

- i joke bc i like making fun of izjo but from testimonies/talks/essays ive heard/watched/read this is actually a very common experience among bi ppl

- like when ur young and just learning how to exist and be confident as an lgbt person and taking such wild pride and comfort in your sga that u forget your oga. maybe even feel a little weird about it. confusion and nervousness. dare i say shame.

- im flipping the script…… of COURSE youre gay what are you TALKING about… what youre going to feel confused repressed nervous and weirdly guilty over is liking a BOY. or like yes son we know you like boys we live in mayview. but youve never liked a girl before and you dont know how to and it terrifies you. and then sometimes it has absolutely no significance at all and it’s just normal. again it depends on the themes and what i want to get out of my brain. that post thats like ‘no gay pairing written by a straight person will ever be as unhinged as a straight pairing written by a gay person’ etc. is it bc i want to write a casual+ comfortable gay existence bc ive seen so many bad u happy ones? is it bc i enjoy exploring societal dynamics by reframing them in the perceived norm? is it yuri? is it yuri.

- i just reread the phrase ‘youve never liked a girl before and you dont know how to and it terrifies you’ and im thinking i made it yuri. is johnny my puppet. have i been using johnny as a puppet this whole time to work out my feelings towards liking women. izjo is bi because i write johnny like a gay girl who just happens to just be a boy.

- i got distracted anyway spender is meterosexual

#paranatural #this is probably so not what you wanted im sorry #asks #anon #anyway im going to sleep. night ✌️

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ribbonpinky-art · 10 months

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feeling melancholic and hopeless again. so im gonna just write out my emotions and none of it correlating. self pity post galore

im thinking about things. life is rough. so stressful. my mental illness is worsening by the day. lots of stuff happens behind the scenes that i choose to not talk about

and what im thinking about now, is that who was once one of my absolute comforts (junko).. im thinking abt that adorable little fumo plush of her i ordered several months ago is just sitting on top of my other plushies.. that i wasn't even excited to have her when she first arrived.

i didn't care.

and that hurt, knowing i didn’t, remembering how much she once meant to me.

same with my Chang’e. i want nothing to do with either of them now. they no longer bring me an ounce of comfort, only dread and remnants of a self indulgent story of kindness that once lifted me up. it all died. feels too idealistic. i feel like im too much of an outcast to let this story exist outside my private circles. i dont even want it anymore, or if i want to ever again

i think as of lately, focusing on oc’s (including ones i havent spoken of yet) has been better for my state of mind

doesnt help that im kiiinda only appreciated for my Junko works!!!! awesome!! i dont want to draw her anymore !!! fml!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! other people are better at drawing her than me anyway, ya wont miss me. lemme focus on my evil lady oc instead...

maybe im being melodramatic, and i do not care. perhaps in a few months i will be enamored with them again? idk. idc either

i feel more disconnected than ever to fandom, when i was seldom a part of any of it in the first place. im that person that exists on the outskirts, not really part of their community. im disconnected to people. i cant make connections with anyone, but i never could .. ok . i could, with a couple folks here and there. im grateful they want me around (not counting my partner of course, theyre the best thing thats ever happened to me. im not just lucky, im fortunate af we met at all)

im aware of my own issues- im autistic, im unmedicated when i probably need meds to regulate my emotions, i live in a toxic family. im triggered terribly easily, and when im hurt, it *hurts*.

i fear that, because of my strange way of speaking and how a lot of my conversations are stilted, and what i perceive as unusual behavior-- i fear i make other people creeped out/uncomfortable. irl or otherwise. like, maybe ppl will be friendly to me at first, but after a year and i dont say much anything and im just this creepy, quiet weirdo to them now. and thats so silly. whats creepy about me?? im a pint size thing who cant even look anyone in the eye very well. is that creepy?? ok, i struggle to talk sometimes, i might be uninterested in conversation but i dont want to be disliked for it-- idk ((ok i have “Creep” by Radiohead set in my mind because of my mental state, and its kinda funny to me for some reason)

i genuinely feel like i lack intelligence. i suck at thinking. i suck at thinking of words, remembering things, and the tiny mistakes i do make are SO small that it should be impossible to make the mistake in the first place. was i always like this? i feel like i used to be smarter , lol

i am quite literally, a complete failure in my family. i cant stress the truth in that enough. even my grandmother is disappointed in me and only wants to see a text message from me saying i got a worthy job in my field. that only thing that matters to anyone, my one and only point of interest in everyone i speak to in my life even outside my family, is that i dont have a real job. thats it. everyone is waiting for me to be.. someone.

because im no one.

but none of them have been a particularly positive influence in my life, seeing as im stuck here.

i genuinely feel disgusting for existing. my body feels wrong to be in when i am visible to any human being. perhaps even to any animal and bug, too. i dont want to be looked at, to be remembered by anyone who wont understand me

nothing is changing!!!!! and when it is, its worse than before!! why cant i just be brave and GO

not all of this reflects reality. i beat myself up a lot. mirrin knows it. i know it.

it hurts

#ribbonvent #tw i talk somewhat ableist towards myself. sorry #all in all... im just venting. take my particuarly heavy words with a grain of salt #i have a lot on my mind. this is only a portion of what stresses me #mirrin is helping me ground.. i love u mirrin

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butchviking · 1 year

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dysphoria is a bastard. i hate it. coping tips?

ok first off. i am not coping

i mean theres all the usual. get strong, see your body as something useful to you and AS you, rather than something to look at. sometimes introspection helps, like ok WHY do i feel this way abt this part of my body and is there anything i can do to counteract that. but tbh sometimes u just hit a wall w that like. ok well i figured out WHY i feel like shit. doesnt do much 2 change it tho. idk everyone is different and everyone’s dysphoria is different and these are things ppl always say have helped them. but i will b totally honest they’ve never done more than placate mine for a short while until it rears its head from some other corner i wasn’t looking at.

the most helpful advice i ever heard is about letting dysphoria come & go. let it pulse in & pulse out. don't do that thing where you let it build up inside you bc its familiar or bc u want to dwell or bc u have smthn to prove or whatever. which i truly think is the best advice for any mental illness nd is the absolute best way i’ve learned 2 cope w my other issues too. life has ups & downs illness has ups & downs and sometimes u gotta just roll w that u cant fight it. some times will suck and other times will not suck so bad and maybe sometimes u even forget its there at all for a little moment! it’s nice to think ‘i know we can get well’ its nice to think someday u will magically overcome all ur issues but for myself at least i think it’s healthier to acknowledge that. some things dont just go away some things are with you for a long long time or even for your entire life. and there’s not much u can do about that except find a way to live with it.

i think personally i took a hard turn a few years go from being trans & embracing the dysphoria & letting it get so big & ugly bc i’d tied my identity into it, to like. finding gendercrit theory, questioning the reasons for my dysphoria, doing some work to alleviate it somewhat, feeling a bit better for a while and thinking oh! looks like i fixed it! i don’t even feel that bad anymore! self-undiagnosing im fine now!! :) which is. one of the dumbest things i couldve done bc then when it DID start 2 rear its head again i was just pushing it down nd being like ‘no we dont indulge that anymore :) im fine im normal now :)’ as though u can just make a mental illness go away if u try real hard and believe in urself. so u gotta not let it build up inside u into a big ugly thing, not indulge it & become friends w it but also acknowledge when it is there and don’t think u can just magic it away. let it ebb & flow let it pulse thru you and then let it go.

#once again tho i am not necessarily the best source of advice bc i am not coping the best rn.#im having a rough patch for sure but im holdin on nd hopefully it'll ease up soon. everything blances out in the end right?#ask #anonymous

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darkstarbureau · 7 months

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i get LIVID over something again: the post (you know that i never put titles. im fucking MAD)

post tw: more than one suicide mention

hey man. hey. i dont like bitching about very importamt things to me very much but its one of those times. this may seem incoherent in some parts but im gonna roll with it anyways.

i swear to fucking god. some of you people will say youre an "irl" (absolutely ATROCIOUS term btw. literally do not say this.) and then proceed to go like "im a kinnie and i simp and im fictionkin and im a synpat"

i can confirm that nobody calls themselves an "irl" ever. when you are in a really bad psychotic episode and happen to be indulging in media that your brain hyperfocuses on and start deluding or hallucinating things that are coherent with said media, you didnt "gain an irl". you are in a psychotic episode. you cant collect delusions (UNSHAKEABLE beliefs by the way, grounding yourself is a different thing. but if you bawl like a baby because somebody doesnt think youre twilight sparkle, maybe youre the problem) like blind bag toys?!?

and no, it is not ableist to acknowledge when youre out of that state that you are delusional. it is not a horrific word. it is one thing to use mental illness as an adjective for something you dont like, in that case, that makes you a dick. but i am afraid you cannot suppress your troubles by calling yourself an "irl".

dont even get me started on the people who think that kin and fucking psychosis are one in the same. i dont know if its just me, but it irks me to an unimaginable degree even more to see blogs that group kin, fictionkin, FICTIVES, and PSYCHOSIS, as one whole. on one side, you have a strong liking or relatability to a character. on another, you have a belief that you are an incarnation of a character without delusion involved. on yet another, you have a fragment of underdeveloped personality from a dissociative disorder that has shaped its identity around a character from a media. on yet another fucking side of things, you have a mental state that occurs in people under the influence of some drugs, an injury, extreme pain, schizophrenia, and/or bipolar disorder.

you are not mentally ill if you like a character, want to convince yourself that youre them, and bitch and moan when people dont affirm it: the section

i (do not) regret to inform you that if you are a big fan of a character, you are not psychotic. psychosis is a very serious and distressing state that people often commit suicide from just so they dont have to experience it anymore. if you think that you want psychosis, you dont. i myself consider taking my life every fucking day because of how often ill be in either a psychotic or dissociative state. this is in no way an exaggeration. i know that you people in my screen think that i have a coherent sense of self and reality even if it's false, and you're wrong. it changes all the fucking time. its not cute. not fun. not in any way enjoyable at all. back when i was younger, it would often present in a way that would convince me it wants to help me. now when i try to fight back against it and know its tricks, it turns very ugly very fast. when i run, it slows me down. when i struggle, it sucks me in. when i cry for help, water fills the space my voice was. when i try to swim, sand pushes against the push. but when i succumb, everything stops. even then, i cant win. everything is a question, and i dont think ill ever have the answer; when will it stop? when will it settle?

its not a game of house and your own mental state is not a mannequin to adorn with the worst things the human mind can feel.

say it louder. you cant choose this. you cant. there is no state of disarray where you are conveniently attached to pixels on a screen. "irl disorder" is a thing people actually search on the fucking internet because of you sick fucks. shut the fuck up. did you know that your head doesnt limit what you can be absolutely fucking confused and terrified about to just your favorite video game? i regularly hear things that i ask other people if they did, and they usually say no. i have seen, tasted, smelled, and touched things that disappear when i look away and look back. i have no feeling of connection to your reality. at the same time, everything feels surreal in the worst possible way in the very rare occasion that i can ground myself. i usually don't dissociate when i'm on the computer, because i have always been in that reality. when i step off, it tries its hardest to pull me back to anything that feels like the digital world. i have no goddamn connection to my body.

i want to disappear.

to those people im talking about: i hope this finds you well. you make me want to die even more than i already do. sincerely, gallerian. or nemesis. or seth. i dont know anymore.

#gallerian rants #actually psychotic #actually dissociative

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