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#i don’t know what the original context for this was
fryday · 2 days
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dan said “if anyone has an asmr of this video, i will just deactivate” but what did he expect us to do? not do it after he put the idea into our heads?
so enjoy: a compilation of the worst things they said in the worst video i’ve ever watched in my life
(original post here)
TRANSCRIPT.
Dan: It’s not an ass transformation. That’s clickbait.
Phil: Mine is. Wait for that.
Dan: I look like the inside of a male butt.
Dan: (singing) Phil’s got a glitter c-*bark bark*-k.
Phil: Eurgh! Euh, its—it’s… white.
Phil: Dandandan, Dan!
Dan: Oh! Phil… I feel like you're—you’ve got like some performance issues there.
Phil: It’s not happening!
Dan: Sorry—
Phil: I bought frickin’… four hundred toothpicks as well.
Dan: I promise, baby, it works most of the time.
Phil: That’s quite erect.
Dan: Oh!
Phil: Ow! It went through!
Dan: It went throu—it went through?
Phil: I had to push it in hard! Oh, there we go.
Dan: Plea—if anyone has an ASMR of this video, I will just deactivate.
Dan: (screams) The way that they’re sticking up—
Phil: It’s happening.
Dan: —is sooo… upsetting to me.
Phil: Alright, Dan, I will help you with your hole, if you help me—
Dan: NO.
Phil: —with something else.
Dan: No.
Phil: No?
Dan: No.
Phil: Hole for goal.
Dan: What do you need help with?
Phil: You might—you don’t know yet.
Dan: I can rip my own hole right open whenever I want.
Phil: Okay, fine.
Phil: It’ll be cold in your butt!
Dan: Well, not for long. It would just kind of—the edges would melt off, and then it would be like—
Phil: D'you think it’d be like, a relaxing release?
Dan: Oh, fuck yeah, it would be an—
Phil: (laughs)
Dan: —honestly, I feel like that would just be… a really lovely sensation.
Dan: I have a lot of excess stuff. I’m just gonna tuck it in the trunk, if you know what I’m sayin’.
Phil: This is the opposite of a RuPaul tuck.
Dan: Out of context, this is a really horrible moment.
Phil: (laughs)
Phil: We’ve already been demonetised once this year, it can’t happen again.
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chirpingfromthebox · 2 days
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I forgot to post about this back when it came out. But this was an interview with two prominent figures from the management side of the PWHL from a few days back. I was expecting it to be a bit dry, but they actually address quite a few prominent questions.
I was originally going to skip doing this one as it's somewhat long, but I've been seeing a number of things they talked about coming up in discussions here, so I thought y'all might be interested to hear what they have to say.
I'll transcribe what I personally found to be the most interesting elements that came up, but know I'll be cutting down some of the remarks and only doing some of the questions, so definitely watch the video for the full story.
Since this is already going to be a massive post I'll spare you my musings on the answers.
Transcriptions of some of the questions under the break.
At the table are Senior Vice President of Hockey Operations Jayna Hefford & Advisory Board Member Stan Kasten.
And I believe this was after Game 2 of the finals and before the start of Game 3.
For context on who these two are in a bigger picture, what little I know is:
Jayna Hefford is a HIGHLY successful and influential former Canadian hockey player who's been working in the field of women's hockey ever since she retired from playing. If I tried to sum up her career we'd be here all day, so let's just say she's in the Hockey Hall of Fame for a reason.
Stan Kasten comes from a background of running/managing large sports teams, though mostly baseball. He is even the current president of the Los Angeles Dodgers and also one of the co-owners. He seems to have had a brief foray into hockey as the president of the NHL's Atlanta Thrashers for a few years. The Thrashers no longer exist and I think they moved and became what are now the Jets? (I dunno, I shouldn't be your source for NHL history, that's for sure.)
--------------- INTRODUCTIONS ---------------
STAN KASTEN: I can’t describe the pleasure this is for me to be here [at the Xcel Energy Center in Minnesota]. The last time I was here I told you that I thought that day, the 13,000*, really convinced us that we were going to make this work.
[* the first home game for Minnesota had an attendance of 13,316.]
But even then I couldn’t have imagined how the year would play out. How we would set attendance records, sponsorship records, and viewing records. So our media strategy was a success. But of course the thing that made it work, really, was what I said opening day: we got the hockey right.
And that’s because of Jayna [Hefford] and her staff. You know, we didn’t know our playoffs ‘til after the last game on the last day. Who could have imagined that we’d put together a system that would've worked out that perfectly. You see how close and competitive the playoffs have been. And as exciting as this is for all of us, we can’t wait to get started on year 2, because we know with all Summer to prepare, it’s gonna be even better.
JAYNA HEFFORD: When we kicked off this league we had a few goals and—at least on the hockey side—one of them was to create parity across the league. And through the draft and the player dispersal, the player signings that we put in place, we were able to do that.
And to Stan’s point, I don’t think we could have wrote the script any better the way it played out and came down to the last game of the regular season to decide who was in the playoffs. We certainly achieved that.
Secondly, innovation and creativity was a priority for us. We wanted to find ways to improve the game. To make it more engaging for fans, to make it fun. We didn’t want to change hockey in the traditionalism of hockey, but we wanted to do things a little bit differently.
So implementing the Jailbreak rule, implementing the pick your own opponent, the Gold Plan*. All of those things are new. But I think right now, and of course we’re going to debrief post-season, but right now the response from all of those things has been overwhelmingly positive. So we will continue to try to be creative and think outside the box and present the game in new ways to people.
[* It didn’t come into play this season, so in case anyone isn’t familiar: The Gold Plan is the system by which after a team is out of contention for the playoffs during the regular season, any wins they get would be factored into where they’d be placed in the draft order for next season. It was designed to be an incentive for teams out of the running to still play their hardest and strive for wins.]
...
So excited to be here now for the next two or three games. And really it’s been a remarkable, amazing journey this last number of years, but really this last 8 or 9 months. And as Stan said, I don’t think I could have envisioned this playing out the way it did. The excitement around this, and the response from our fans, and response from media. So we’re just thrilled with where it’s at and I know this is gonna wrap up in a really great way in the next number of days.
...
--------------- LOOKING AHEAD, WHAT ARE THE CHANGES/CHALLENGES FOR NEXT YEAR? ---------------
STAN: We didn’t have our business staff in place until about 60 days before the season started. So we have a lot we can still do.
The most obvious one was merchandise. Having, you know, the amount of inventory that we needed was a challenge for us. Getting an online business started, in two countries, that was a challenge. So all these two country problems are different than other leagues.
By the end of the season we did really well on merchandise. But we have more coming and more designs and greater inventory. The one good thing is that we sold everything that we could make. I mean, it was just flying off the shelves when we could get it to arenas. And the online business has been strong also. Those things are challenging when they’re start-ups, and as I said, they’re start-ups in two countries, so we know how to do it now. It’s gonna get a lot better going forward.
JAYNA: And I think what everybody is waiting for is names and logos. So that’s one big thing that’s coming. So I think that’ll be really exciting to be able to build those brands and make those brands significant in the markets and communities we’re in.
STAN: It’s interesting how the name thing played out. We did not start out to do that, but because the lead time required in these things, we just thought it was better to just skip that for now and just go with: PWHL and the location.
And that has had an amazing unintended consequence of anytime anyone has talked about any of our teams all year, you had to say “PWHL.” So our league has gotten more exposure in the first year of its existence than any league in history ‘cause they kept repeating our name.
Again, we didn’t plan it that way; it just worked out that way. And it was about mid-season that I started hearing from fans and players, “You know, we kinda like the name the way it is.”
We’re gonna have team names. And I invite people to adopt those names too. But you can feel free to continue to call it what you’ve always called it. And we will be selling merchandise with both of those names. So these names aren’t going away because they have become popular. But for those of you who like team names, we’ll be addressing that as well.
...
JAYNA: ...Of course we feel like we have incredible talent on the ice every night now, but putting the best on the ice is about putting the best on the ice. And we know there’s a number of incoming players. So it will get more challenging. Good players will have a hard time making this league. But when you think about the product we’re gonna put on the ice? It’s gonna continue to get significantly better every single year as we welcome in newer and younger players. Then at some point we’ll look to add teams, when that depth of talent is at the right place in our minds. But right now it’s just exciting to look at all the new and fresh talent that’s going to step in.
--------------- WHAT CAN YOU DO TO IMPROVE DIVERSITY AND ATTRACT MORE BLACK FANS TO THE GAMES? ---------------
JAYNA: I think the first thing is representation. And we have some incredible athletes in our league that continue to be great role models, be active in their communities. And when you think of Sophie Jaques and Sarah Nurse and players that continue to give back and become something that young girls can look up to? I think all of our players do that for a lot of different communities of people.
And I think the one thing that’s really special about our league is- I feel it every game I’m at, it doesn’t matter what market we’re in, is that there’s a sense of inclusivity in our buildings. People are here and they’re excited and they’re happy and they feel welcome, regardless of who they are. And they feel free to be themselves. I’ve talked to many, many people that have never felt this way in a hockey rink. So we’ll continue to do that on the culture side.
I think what we want to do is continue to grow the game for young girls and I don’t think there’s any limits on who those young girls are. We want people to fall in love with the game. And I think we approach our business side and staffing side the same way. We want to bring people in who love the game and we want to bring people in that represent different communities.
--------------- WHAT ARE THE PLANS FOR NEW YORK TO POSSIBLY PLAY IN ONE VENUE INSTEAD OF THE THREE OR FOUR THEY USED THIS SEASON? ---------------
STAN: When the season is over we’re gonna review everything. Every city, every venue that we’re in, and we’re going to try to improve. We’re aware of the New York situation. It wasn’t ideal this year. But we’ll see what ways we can improve the situation. We’re not ready to say here today which way we’re going to go or what we’re going to do. But I can tell you that certainly one of the things we’re going to spend a lot of time looking at.
REPORTER: What do you guys think is the ideal venue situation?
STAN: The ideal venue situation is to play in the biggest NHL venue in every city. And merit playing there. We’re not always there yet in every market. But in big markets, as you might know, the big venues are there because there are a lot of events and a lot of teams in those cities. That gets into availabilities. We don’t want to be in a big venue, but have to play on a Tuesday morning, right? We wanna play on weekend nights or nights in general.
So it’s a complicated matrix of considerations that goes into where we choose to play, when we choose to play, what’s good for the team, what’s good for the visiting team, how we travel. It’s complicated.
It’s complicated with 6, it’ll be more complicated the bigger we grow and the more games we have. Those will be good problems, but we don’t ignore it. We’re thinking about all of it. And you saw in this year when we found an opportunity that we thought would work for our fans in cities where we could go to big venues, we did it. I would call them experiments and in general I’d say those experiments were all wildly successful.
--------------- WHEN CAN WE EXPECT NAMES AND LOGOS? ---------------
STAN: Sometime this Summer. I don’t have an exact time, but you should be counting the days.
--------------- HOW DID THE GATE RECEIPT REVENUE COMPARE TO WHAT YOU EXPECTED? ---------------
STAN: I will tell you that, yes, it exceeded what we thought we were going to- it exceeded our early projections. But that’s partially because we made the strategy decision to also greatly exceed our expected expenses.
Let me give you an example. You know how women’s hockey games have been broadcast in the past, right? Single camera from upstairs. It isn’t what we chose to do. We made the conscious choice to spend a lot of money to make it a major league professional broadcast. And I think all of you who watched our games would agree. That’s what we delivered. It was expensive. But we think it’s gonna pay off for us in the long run.
Additionally we didn’t hire three people and slowly build each franchise. We went right to 120 people by opening day and now we’re over 200 people. So that was a lot of expense that we didn’t expect right away, but we said, “you know what? We’re all in. So let’s do year 4 expenses in year 1.”
So yeah, and that resulted in a lot more revenue. And that’s why we think our decision to invest in the league, which is what I call expenses, was the right one. We’re on the right track. The investments we made are paying off.
--------------- WHAT CAN YOU TELL US ABOUT NEXT SEASON’S SCHEDULE, NUMBER OF GAMES, AND POSSIBLE NEUTRAL-SITE GAMES? ---------------
JAYNA: Well, in terms of number of games the league will go up to 30. And that’s in our CBA that 24 regular games in the inaugural season will move to a minimum of 30 next year. In terms of neutral site games, we do expect that there will be more of those next season. I don’t have a timeline for our schedule to be done yet, but we do expect more games, more neutral-site games next season.
--------------- WHAT WAS THE CONSENSUS ON THE OFFICIATING THIS SEASON IN THE LEAGUE? ---------------
JAYNA: I don’t know if you’ll ever get a collection of people that all agree on officiating in any sport, in any league. So we’re actually really happy with where we’re at.
We set out initially to find the best officials we could find. We worked closely with the NHL, the AHL, Hockey Canada, USA Hockey, to select the top officials. We obviously also adjusted the standard of play to this league. It’s not full body checking, but there is an increased level of physicality in the game. So I think we spent the early months of the season really trying to figure out where that line is and get people comfortable with it.
Now where we’re at I think players have figured it out to some extent. Of course not everyone’s going to agree on that. But the way I see the players playing the game now, and their awareness of positions they’re in, and to be ready for that physicality has changed. So, are we right there? We’re probably not right there yet. But we’re really happy with where we’re at, we think the officials have done an incredible job in the league this season.
--------------- ARE THERE PLANS FOR DRAFTED PLAYERS WHO MIGHT NOT MAKE THE PWHL ROSTERS? ---------------
JAYNA: I think trying to figure out what the right solution for that is in the short term is at the top of our list of things to do. You know, building one league in 9 months, but to build a whole ecosystem for hockey? It’s just not something that we can do right now. But we are thinking creatively around places that players could play if they don’t end up on our 23 or 26 player rosters next season. So it’s a bit of a work in progress. But in speaking to number of stakeholders there’s many many people that want to figure out a solution to this so that we can keep more women in playing the game at the highest level.
--------------- DO YOU LOOK AT THE LEAGUE AS A “WOMEN’S SPORTS” SUCCESS STORY OR HAS IT MOVED BEYOND THAT? ---------------
JAYNA: I think that we are very different from most men’s leagues. I think we’re very different than many women’s leagues. I’d like to see us stand on our own as a sports league. But in saying that I also believe that this time for women’s sports and the success of one feels like it’s a success for all. We’re all big fans and collaborate with folks in the WNBA and the NWSL, and it feels like we’re all working together to raise women’s sports. So I don’t know if that’s an appropriate answer, but I feel it’s a little of both.
--------------- HOW DO THE INVESTORS FEEL ABOUT THIS FIRST SEASON? ---------------
STAN: I have one investor, he is ecstatic.
...
--------------- WHAT IS THE POTENTIAL FOR DOING A BEST OF 7 GAMES SERIES IN THE FUTURE? ---------------
JAYNA: This is a little bit like getting asked about expansion 3 months in. Great question. Would I love to see a best of 7 series? We’re sitting here 1-1, you know of course I would. But I think we’re really excited about the format we have now. This is new for women’s hockey. Even the best players in the world who’ve won multiple Olympic gold medals have not played in a best of 5 series. I think we’re seeing that it’s challenging. There’s a lot of travel, there’s fatigue, the volume that they’re experiencing is huge
So I think we’re really good where we’re at right now. Somewhere along the line I could see us maybe expanding, but again, year 1? The two best of 5 series have been a really great format for us.
STAN: And that comes from someone who’s won 4 Olympic gold medals.
JAYNA: [laughing] I’ve never played in a best of 5 series either.
STAN: Exactly.
--------------- end of interview ---------------
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howlsofbloodhounds · 12 hours
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I was thinking about how Killer can canonically speak Arabic because his creator can, and the HC that he didn’t know English by the time Nightmare picked him up and so Cross and Horror probably had to try and teach him it (and also Murder, who speaks Korean), and was wondering about how that went down in the context of Something New & his partnership with Chara.
Did everyone in this alternate timeline speak Arabic and that’s one of the major differences from the original AU, or did Sans speak English until he was transformed into Killer!Sans? How did Chara react to that, a man lies down on a bed of flowers speaking English while his entire being changes, and when he awakes bro starts yapping Arabic at them?
Did Chara attempt to teach Killer English, or did they take advantage of the fact that no one else in the Underground understands Killer and taught themself how to speak the language? It’d definitely help create a sense of “togetherness” and “oneness” between them if no one understands Killer but Chara.
Did Killer learn some English words from Chara? I bet they were all mostly insults and threats and simple commands he recognizes 💀.
But I’ve always been of the idea that the two of them don’t really actually need words or language to understand eachother, especially as they spend more time together. Their SOULs are connected, and they spent decades observing eachother. With Chara meticulously taking Killer apart and reframing him into what they want him to be.
They can communicate with a single glance, a twitch of the face, and a seemingly nonsense gesture. I’m sure their SOULS allow them to feel intent from eachother as well. They’re a well oiled machine by the time their partnership comes to an end, but I’m sure their partnership actually ended some time ago when Chara didn’t recognize how Killer was changing.
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tomyloversiwrite · 1 year
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Austin: As top in this relationship, I think we should-
Shiane: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.
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driftingballoons · 2 months
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Some creatures are more difficult to perceive than others
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blissful-thinker · 7 months
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The Misery x CPR vibes are strong with these two (Panel redraw!)
[ID in alt text]
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paperconsumption · 1 month
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i really love how twitter will take a singular issue and turn it into Abstract Concept to Discuss. this tweet about alien stage blew up and the original thing they were mad about was a very blatant example of fandom prioritizing men over women. but it’s led to people arguing about whether it’s okay to write more yaoi than yuri without having the context of Alien Stage Specifically. and it’s shifted the discussion (if you can call it that) in such a new direction i just find it odd
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bratprivilege · 6 months
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I am like literally begging the Internet to write image descriptions at this point
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dykeyuu · 3 months
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every day when i wake up i say to myself “dykeyuu you are not purchasing any sanrio merchandise today” but then i find the deal of the century……..
#like. i only buy it if i know for sure ill NEVER find it at that price again#2007 corduroy keroppi that literally doesn’t exist on the internet? $16#i came across it by chance and it took me hours to find evidence that anyone else had ever owned one#found a chococat one too from the same series but it’s pricier…#but it’s the only one listed anywhere that i can find so. perhaps#sike i found one in the philippines there’s TWO corduroy chococats on the internet#i mean there’s literally one reddit thread i could find from years ago confirming that this series existed#and it’s only got like two commenters who only vaguely remembered the series#and a handful of worthpoint entries confirming that a couple of each of them had sold on ebay at some point#all the other sanrio corduroy plushies i could find were from other series#there’s a hello kitty and my melody from the same year but it wasn’t the same series#both series were rereleases in 2007 and the original release year for hk/mm was earlier than cc/k#20in 2012 fiesta keroppi? $40 when he usually goes for $100+#(this includes shipping…)#was devastated to find an etsy listing for the 2010 limited keroppi build a bear for $85 that had already sold…#the next cheapest one of those is like $140#and dont get me fucking started on chococat#no build a bear should EVER go for $500#like be serious. maybe it was limited edition 14 years ago but it’s still a damn stuffed animal#manifesting they rerelease the original sanrio build a bears to beat the price gougers into submission#the intersection of two special interests: sanrio and buying things from people who don’t know what they have#throwback to the 1993 keroppi squeaky toy that i thrifted for 25 cents#just looked it up to see and i found the exact same one but only on worthpoint#he used to be a keychain… mine is just the little guy with no chain#comparable one from the same year same size/material etc just different design goes for $20+#context i refuse to make a worthpoint account and pay them just to see what things sold for on ebay they can kiss my ass#me when i need to infodump but gf is at work and has already heard like half of this
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deci-doodles · 3 months
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This was originally a request from a friend but I figured I might as well post here coz I think it’s too funny
Audio: Berlioz, Symphonie Fantastique Mvt. 4. March to the Scaffold
Would highly recommend listening to the whole track coz it’s a banger but also it’s literally the composer having an opium-induced fever dream about him getting his head lopped off at the guillotine so
#genshin impact#focalors#neuvillette#I’m not sorry#this whole thing spawned from me ranting about Fontaine’s OST for like the nth time#for context I’m a classical musician and while I don’t think Fontaine’s music is necessarily bad#and I get what Hoyomix was aiming for#the direction they chose just frustrates me so much that I could probably scream about it for a good ten minutes or so#again not saying Hoyomix is bad I love their stuff too it just#FRSUTRATES ME#that the nation primarily inspired by what I’m assuming is Belle epoque France#fails to capitalise off of using French romantic composers from the era#and yes I know they said they’ve used Saint-Saëns#Ravel and Faure but I can’t hear it outside of the original Travail motif which was repurposed to just Arlecchino’s#and no imitation compositional technique isn’t making it super obvious either#but somehow we get a lot of Russian and Soviet composers#and I LOVE their stuff#but I was expecting Shostakovich and Stravinsky for SNEZHNAYA NOT FONTAINE#and also Khachaturian while we’re at it#SERIOUSLY WHY IS THERE A SUPER STRAVINSKY SOUNDNING TRACK IN SOME FRENCH CAVES#for reference the track is Magick Without Tears#I mean if we got Chopin at least question mark#but the dude is still Polish and famously homesick despite living in France#but seriously how did we get fricking Le Mer referenced in INAZUMA BUT NOT FONTAINE#no track names alluding to Debussy’s famous works don’t count either we could’ve had La Cathedral Engloutie underwater or something likE#IMAGINE#*cathedrale oops#and don’t get me started on how one of the few references I can find to French Impressionism is just Satie’s gymnopedie#and they named it Gymnopedie too LIKE#or any reference in the OST to the operas in Furina’s constellations like those are som serious bangers
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wellnoe · 9 months
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i am obsessed w thinking about o5 butch lesbian cyclops now. bobby. her friendship w warren. *waves hand at everything w jean*
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leapdayowo · 10 days
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giggling and kicking my feet when I realize x, y, and z from different stories I’ve experienced over my life influenced parts of a story I’m writing. Like yes, this concept from an author 40 years older than me clearly influenced how I write this character, or this world building element was loosely inspired from bits and pieces I’ve seen of a fandom I’m not in. It makes me happy that I can carry the legacy of those stories, thoughts, and moments and how wonderful it would be to encourage my (hypothetical) future audience to find these outside influences. That stories can be connected not because the worlds in them are necessarily connected, but that the people in this world can be connected and inspire each other
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lazyeddie · 1 year
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You can tell I was lazy-
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driftingballoons · 10 months
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Fun fact: some snakes play dead to escape confrontation and threats (even if it’s not particularly ‘regal’)
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melrosing · 2 months
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Do you like Star Wars
weird question. no I don’t care about star wars
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killmymind · 3 months
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bts celibacy gif has done more for tumblr than staff ever did
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