#i did about half a second of googling then went of existing knowledge that could very easily be wrong

[s0fter-sin]

prince!ghost and lord in waiting!soap

ghost is a warrior prince, next in line after king price and it’s always been accepted he would be the lone ruler; never one for entertaining the courts or indulging foreign rulers trying to consolidate their power. he hardly acts like a prince at all, in name only when he spends more time as a pseudo captain of the guard. price has never begrudged him that, not when he himself has been a lone king since his inauguration

though he’s a warrior prince, he’s never lost the favour of the people; many see him as a guardian even if he doesn’t interact with the people as much as benevolent and stalwart king price. who he does interact with is the kingdom’s children; always ready to bend a knee and listen to bright voices, to praise stick swords and shields or hear the plight of a struggling family. it was a common belief that if he wasn’t out protecting, then he was with the protected; face covered, blonde curls shining in the sun

soap’s always loved ghost. as his lord in waiting, it’s been his job to attend him since they were young and even as a child, he’d idolised him; his skills in battle, his surety. he thought his life would be nothing but service, clothing a brat prince and making sure his shoes shined. but ghost has proven more than that; he treats him as an equal, consults him on strategy and court politics and over time that idolisation turned into love

and ghost has always felt the same. he’d begrudged the idea of a lord in waiting, not wanting someone always in his business but then came this spitfire who never missed an opportunity to push back on him; to make him dig deeper. johnny is more than some mere servant; he’s his confidant, his best friend, his… everything. he could be simon with him, not prince ghost

but simon figures that out too late

king price gets word from king shepherd, a kingdom they’ve only recently stopped feuding with and he’s offering up his son, prince graves, as a way to bond their kingdoms together and firmly put war behind them. price is ready to deny him, he doesn’t fear war from shepherd, when he sends some ancient laws that leave him unable to refuse. he hates it, hates that he’s ruining ghost’s happiness and feels like he’s betraying his adopted son but there’s nothing he can do

graves comes to their kingdom within the month and it’s clear from the moment he walks through their gates that he’s the opposite of ghost; arrogant and conceited, his ceremonial armour glossy and untouched by battle. he’s dismissive of their servants, of their ways, of their people and ghost hates him

graves insists that the wedding happen as soon as possible, pushing the craftsmen and cooks beyond their limits to prepare and every moment ghost spends with him, the more he dreads his wedding day. every evening he retreats to his room, exhausted, and it’s all johnny can do to keep him afloat; trying to keep him positive as ghost falls away and simon breaks in his arms. he wants to whisk him away like the old tales, the pain his oldest friend and love is in making his heart ache but all he can do is promise to be there with him

but it seems graves wants to take even him away

“soap’s been my lord in waiting since we were children,” ghost protests, voice barely clinging to civility. “i wouldn’t want to lose such a valuable worker.”

“there are plenty of decent servants in our kingdom; you’ll forget this one soon enough,” graves waves away, carding a possessive hand over his curls and it’s only bc he’s looking for it that soap sees ghost’s jaw twitch beneath his neck gaiter. “it’s custom for one marrying into our kingdom to embrace all that it has to offer, leaving who they were behind to become someone better. you’re entering a new life with me; you don’t need the baggage of this dreary place.”

soap feels sick as he walks behind them, his blank expression hiding all sign of his breaking heart.

“soap is beholden to me,” ghost declares. “we were sworn together by the old laws. i’m afraid a custom isn’t enough for me to break a vow to the gods.”

graves lets out a disgruntled noise, tugging harshly at one of ghost’s curls with only a thin veil of fondness; his conceding smile not reaching his eyes.

“i never made a vow to the gods,” johnny points out later. “price gave me to you because he was sick of me setting fire to the kitchens.”

simon hums and sets his freshly cleaned armour aside, turning to him with a twinkle in his eyes he’s barely seen since sheperd’s missive. “you pinkie swore that you would never leave me; that’s more powerful than any promise to the gods,” he says and soap’s thrown back fifteen years, to a willow tree big enough to touch the sky; to two boys from different stations who didn’t care that one was dressed in silk and the other in scraps.

johnny feels a lightness he hasn’t in a month as simon winks at him. “besides, do you really think graves is smart enough to figure it out?”

the days pass quickly, graves’ veneer of affection growing ever thinner, and before either of them are ready, it’s the eve of ghost’s wedding.

he’s said nothing, done nothing but stare at the wedding robes graves had tailored for him in the fashion of his kingdom and johnny doesn’t know how to break the silence. he draws out each second as he fusses with the cape piece and ensures the shoes shine in the fire light until he has no more excuses.

he sighs as he straightens up, brushing off polish onto his pants. “i suppose this is where i leave you,” he says with a weak smile but it quickly dies when simon still doesn’t look at him. “i’ll be here in the morning to help you get ready… good night, simon.”

johnny bows and makes for the door, trying to convince himself he didn’t just say goodbye.

but he’s stopped by simon’s hand loosely wrapping around his wrist.

he looks back as simon finally tears his eyes away from the robes, looking at him with such clear longing it almost brings him to his knees.

“i don’t want graves to be the first man to touch me, johnny,” he confesses and johnny’s breath hitches. “i don’t want to be married to another… not when the one i’m set to wed isn’t you. but if i have to do this… please let me feel loved one final time.”

simon’s thumb brushes the back of his hand; their kingdom’s greatest warrior caressing him with a touch light as silk. he doesn’t pull johnny in, doesn’t need to; johnny’s already sinking into his touch.

desperation and love tinge every movement; johnny dancing his fingers over simon’s neck gaiter until he all too happily removes it, baring his scarred cheeks and lips. johnny kisses each one, willing his love and his touch to linger above all others as they move together; sharing breath, sharing body, sharing soul the way they wish they always have.

when ghost makes his way down the aisle, it’s not in the fine embroidered robes graves had laid out for him. he’s in his battle armour; dark and weathered, the sign of the ghost, the warrior prince, going to battle. the only thing missing is his helm, tucked under his arm.

showing his hair; curls gone and shaved tight to his skin.

a thing done only in a time of great mourning.

graves looks irate and it’s the only spark of joy ghost feels as he stops before the altar; set beneath the willow tree where johnny promised himself to him. one final insult.

ghost is silent throughout the ceremony and in spirit and in grief, so is the entire gathered kingdom until the priestess reaches the final vows and suddenly, a great roar rises above the crowd as seemingly every child in the kingdom swarms the altar.

ghost is too shocked to do anything but let them push him away from graves, bullying their way between them like they’re preparing to protect him just as he’s always protected them.

graves is furious but the children stand firm in the face of his threats until he moves to strike one-

and freezes as soap’s blade finds his throat.

“you would dare hurt these children?” he growls, sword following graves as he stumbles back. “you’ve kept up your charade the entire time and here is where you show your true colours. i think it’s time i show mine.”

graves splutters as johnny turns to the priestess and king price, falling to one knee and offering up his blade. “your grace, i wish to challenge prince graves for the hand of prince simon!”

his voice rings clear and he feels the eyes of every person in the kingdom.

but he only cares for one man.

who is watching him with more love than he’s ever felt.

“who are you to challenge me?” graves sneers. “you’re nothing more than a servant; no better than the dirt on my boots.”

johnny doesn’t bother to look at him, too caught in the love in simon’s eyes and the grateful look on king price’s face. “then you should have nothing to worry about. you’ve been crowing your accolades from the rooftops since you got here; let’s see if you live up to the hype.”

because simon only ever introduced him as his lord in waiting.

never as sir soap- his second in command and one of the greatest swordsmen their kingdom has ever seen.

#soaps challenge over rules the law shepherd wrapped price up in and hes all too happy to grant it #and of course soap wins and the kingdom gets to witness the marriage of prince simon and sir johnny #im imagining soap as full highlander in the last scene #huge mohawk with braided sides running down his back kilt great sword the works #i dont know where this came from lmao i was half asleep listening to sick of losing soulmates by dodie and it was like i was possessed #which is my favourite type of inspiration i cant lie #laswell is the priestess and gaz is prices advisor or his lord in waiting im not sure #lord in waiting is the male equivalent of lady in waiting just btw as far as i know its like a personal handmaid #i did about half a second of googling then went of existing knowledge that could very easily be wrong #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #we’re a team. ghost team #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghoap #john soap mactavish #soap cod #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #john price #captain price #phillip graves #fic #au #save post

[nickgerlich]

Upsetting The Apple Cart

The temptation for any company to venture into uncharted territory is big. It is what causes companies to commit vast amounts of resources to things they have no prior knowledge of or experience in, although the allure of that uncharted territory can be intoxicating. And it seems that sometimes it is the biggest companies that drink from this bottle the most, if only because they can afford to commit billions of dollars into R&D.

Unfortunately, drinking from that bottle can lead to problems, usually in the form of red ink and embarrassment. Fortunately, some companies have enough common sense to refrain from trying to venture into those dark waters. It is what has kept car manufacturers from testing the waters of fast food, just because they came to know that a lot of people go through drive-thrus and eat in their cars. For that matter, it has kept McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Burger King, and the rest from trying to make cars just because more than half of their business goes through a window.

It’s too bad that Apple did not possess this same sense. For the last decade, it has been burning cash, paying 2000 employees to develop the Apple EV. It was a noble gesture, no doubt influenced by one Elon Musk. He singlehandedly made EV a household word, so it is easy to understand how and why other companies would be attracted to the prospects of getting in early.

Last week, though, the company pulled the plug—literally and figuratively—on the project. This comes amid news that growth of EV sales has softened. That’s not to say that they are in decline. It just means that they are not growing as fast as they were, which, if you understand math, you know that an increasing denominator makes sustaining the same growth rate difficult.

Still, margins are shrinking as Tesla lowers prices. Competitor Rivian loses about $32,000 on each vehicle it sells. And let’s not forget Chinese-owned EV maker BYD, which just catapulted to top EV seller in the world. This is not the kind of news that Apple wanted to hear.

Of course, the usual litany of customer objections still exist. Cost (even after Tesla price reductions), range anxiety, and access to charging points are legitimate issues that must still be addressed. And then there are the naysayers who liberally distribute red herrings, such as replacement battery expense, rare earth materials used in making motors, and exploitative child labor in Africa for lithium. Those too are concerns, but deviate from the broader usage matters. That’s another way of saying they are PR campaigns intended to undermine the EV.

Oh, and let’s talk a minute or two about BYD. Last week they went completely bipolar on everyone, simultaneously announcing the new $16,000 EV Yuan Plus as well as a top-of-the-line Yangwang U9 that can hit 60mph in 2.36 seconds. It’s a paltry $250,000. Lest you think we’re safe from them, think again. They are looking at manufacturing sites in Mexico, which would make it pretty easy to start selling here, if they can meet National Highway Traffic Safety Administration regulations.

Back to marketing, though. We have seen big companies make this misstep all too many times. Google, which is primarily advertising and search, but also software, phones, and household items, thought they could leverage their skills with Google Glass, a $1500 pair of high-tech eyeglasses. They creeped out people with both the concept and the price. Thud.

Forty years ago, Colgate, known for their toothpaste, decided to venture into frozen foods. I don’t know. Maybe they coated your teeth with cavity-resistant chemicals? Another thud.

But wait, there’s more. Thirty years ago Harley-Davidson thought it prudent to introduce a line of perfume. Bic, maker of small handheld items like pens, razors, and lighters, introduced a line of disposable underwear in the late-90s. Not to be outdone, Cosmopolitan Magazine got a craving for yogurt and launched its line in a very crowded part of the supermarket. Thud, thud, and thud.

This is not to say that leveraging brands cannot be done. There are occasional success stories. But whenever you try to enter a new space in which you have absolutely zero experience or recognition, you are skating on thin ice. As much as the Apple name is known for computers, phones, and more, it has no experience building cars. Just because their Apple CarPlay operating system works well in car audio systems does not mean it should make the whole car.

Why, that would be like General Motors making hamburgers, or McDonald’s making cars. See above.

It was wise to pull the plug on this doomed project, but it should never have been plugged in at all. It was a case of good money chasing bad. Apple, like all other companies, should focus on its core competencies, and if it wishes to enlarge its tents, do so slowly and incrementally. The Apple eco-system is a powerful one, and I love having all of my devices synced and playing so well together. But they can accomplish that in vehicles without having to make the car itself.

Leave that to the folks who know what they are doing.

Dr “Non-Starter” Gerlich

Audio Blog

#marketing #Apple #EV #branding

[link4eva]

Kiro’s Chanting Praise Date Translation [CN]

Hi, everyone! Just a couple of notes before you begin reading. I don’t actually know Chinese so this translation was done through the power of Google Translate and with help from @keliosyfan​. Thank you! 💛

The translation below contains spoilers for a date not yet released in the ENG server so please don’t look below the cut if you don’t want to be spoiled.

You can read the call that comes before the date here!~

Hope you enjoy!~

*Spoilers for future content below!*

In the depths of the Golden Palace, there is a silver-haired prince.

His palace gate is always shut and no one can enter

His figure is covered by shadows and he has never seen the sun.

His voice was cursed by a demon and could not be heard.

Guard: Find him!!

Guard: Where did he go?

Disharmonious sounds suddenly sounded in the lively market. The sound of footsteps hurriedly came from afar, arousing the curiosity of the vendors.

The guards were fierce-looking. They were wielding scimitars and looked as though they were searching for someone. One of the guards walked up to me and looked me up and down a few times.

Guard: Hey, woman. 

Guard: Did you see a kid in a cloak passing by?

MC: No. I’ve been here the whole time and haven’t seen any strange people.

MC: Has the kid in question committed anything?

Guard: Humph, just a little mouse that sneaked into our master’s house!

Guard: I’ll ask you again, are you sure you haven’t seen this person? If you dare to lie….

He raised the sharp scimitar as he spoke. I couldn’t help but shrink back as I tried to keep my voice calm.

MC: I would never dare to lie to the great Lord Jinsha. I really haven’t seen this person.

MC: You can prove it by asking the person next to you!

The guard looked around. As expected, the other vendors waved to him and said that they hadn’t seen him. He snorted angrily.

Guard: Since you haven’t seen him, don’t get in the way!

The guard pushed me against the wall and ran to the other end of the alley.

After watching the family members disappear, I quietly patted the big wooden basket behind me.

MC: Alright, it’s ok to come out.

??: ….! 

The wooden basket shook slightly and the straw on top was pushed aside by a slender hand, revealing messy blond hair under the cloak and a pair of bright blue eyes.

The blond kid poked out half of his head and looked side to side before smiling up at me.

MC: Don’t worry, no one ratted you out.

The vendors all around showed friendly smiles to the kid. He pulled off his mask in relief.

The kid jumped out of the wooden basket swiftly and gave me a brilliant smile.

??: But you are the one I should be most grateful for!

??: My name is Kiro. What about you?

MC: My name is MC.

Kiro: MC….

He said my name again and nodded.

Kiro: Well, I’ll remember your name and I will repay you in the future! 

He said this as he put on his cloak. As he was about to leave, I grabbed his wrist.

MC: I don’t want it in the future. Can you do me a favour now? I need it quickly!

I hurriedly spoke, not letting Kiro have the chance to refuse me.

MC: Didn’t you get chased by a guard because you snaked into the mansion of Lord Jinsha?

MC: Then you can probably tell me, did you see a travelling artist like me in it?

Kiro looked at me with a slightly surprised expression.

Kiro: Travelling artist? Is there something wrong with them?

MC: They….

MC: It’s too hard to talk here. Come with me.

I looked around vigilantly, put on my veil, and beckoned to Kiro.

Passing through the alleys, the hustle and bustle gradually grew farther and farther.

I led Kiro through the city and finally stopped in front of a travelling artist’s caravan.

MC: This is my home.

MC: I am a dancer in a travelling theatre troupe. Some time ago, I passed by here from Wangcheng to make a living in the market.

MC: Half a month ago, our theatre troupe was summoned by Lord Jinsha for a dinner performance.

MC: The people at the market all advised us not to go, saying that many others were recruited by him before. They never showed up again.

MC: But we didn’t dare defy him. I was the only one that didn’t attend as I suddenly fell ill that day but the others went.

MC: After that day…. my companions disappeared.

Kiro: They didn’t come back?

MC: Well, the caravan and luggage are still here so it would’ve been impossible for them to leave.

MC: Kiro, do you think they will be sold as slaves as the rumours say?....

Kiro: Don’t be too scared. Actually, time moved really quickly just now and I only searched part of the mansion when I snuck in. 

Kiro: Maybe your companions are staying in other rooms and I just didn’t get to see them?

MC: Even so….

Kiro’s comfort only slightly soothed my anxiety. However, an even greater worry was still surging in my heart. I sighed.

MC: Alas….if there is any way to save them, it would be great.

Kiro: I have a solution, wanna try? 

Kiro: Actually, I was um…. a spy and took a job. So, I had to sneak into the mansion of Lord Jinsha to investigate.

Kiro: I was discovered by a guard at that moment which caused me to fail my mission. I'm thinking of how to get in again. 

Kiro: At this time, let’s cooperate and pretend to be a pair of travelling artists.

Kiro: I will be the singer and you will be the dancer! To tell you the truth, I can sing very well! 

Kiro looked excited, but, how could a spy be a good singer? I shook my head.

MC: It’s not that easy. I heard that Lord Jinsha’s ears are very particular and that it’s hard for ordinary singers to be liked by him….

My hesitation was interrupted by Kiro’s singing.

The moment the first note was sung by him, my eyes widened.

Kiro sang the simplest but cheerful melody. His voice was very low, his words very casual.

But such easy-going singing has surpassed all the singers I have ever heard.

It seems that he isn’t standing in front of a messy caravan but rather a lively banquet. And in that banquet, he is the focus.

The last lyrics left his mouth and Kiro winked at me and my stunned face.

Kiro: Would you like to cooperate with me now, little dancer? 

[Second Part]

My cooperation with Kiro is going extremely smoothly.

In just ten days, our travelling act had gained fame in the city.

Most of this fame was because of Kiro.

For some reason, no matter how simple the ballads that are sung by him seem to have colours, pictures, and smells.

Whenever he plunged into the world of music, he would inexplicably reveal a lonely and noble breath.

People wanted to get close but they didn’t dare to do so.

MC: Sometimes I think you really don’t look like a spy….

Kiro: Wait, what are you talking about?

MC: Nothing! I mean you sing so nicely. I wouldn’t be tired of hearing it even if I listened for a hundred years! 

Kiro: A hundred years? I think you could listen to it for a lifetime. 

His carefree words made my heart beat faster and my ears became a little hot for some reason. I quickly changed the subject.

MC: We’ve been practicing for a while today. Would you like to take a break and go to the street?

Kiro: Okay. Now that you mention it, I feel a little hungry.

We were going to the market to search for food. When we were passing by the long rows of houses, I suddenly heard sorrowful weeping from one of the houses.

Kiro: ….

Kiro stopped. Looking through the cracks in the dilapidated door curtain, there’s an old woman crying and holding her son.

But her son was unaware of his mother’s grief and his eyes stared up at the ceiling, saliva spilling from the corner of his mouth.

Seeing this scene, I shook my head unbearably.

MC: Another person infected by a strange disease….

MC: Last time we passed by the Royal City, we heard that there were lost souls there.

MC: Who knows when the cure will be found….

Kiro: This is not a natural disease. It’s man-made.

MC: Man-made? How do you know?

Kiro: Uh….

His eyes wandered for a while before he decided to finally answer me.

Kiro: Because….I am a subordinate of the “Silver Prince”. I am investigating this matter under his order.

MC: The silver-haired prince?!

MC: It’s the “spokesperson of the demon” whose voice is cursed in the legend and likes to manipulate others…. *Changed some wording here*

I trailed off the rest of the sentence because I saw Kiro’s face becoming a little pale.

MC: I’m sorry! I forgot that you are his subordinate and shouldn’t say that to him.

Kiro: It’s okay. Do people talk about him like this?

MC: Not really….

MC: Most of the people who say that are big landlords and wealthy merchants like Lord Jinsha and people who followed suit.

Kiro: What about you? What do you think of the silver-haired prince? 

MC: Me? I have no idea.

MC: After all, the noble existence of the prince is beyond my knowledge. Why do you ask?

Kiro: Oh….

MC: ….

Did I say something wrong again? Why do I feel that Kiro’s expression seems to be even more disappointed?

Should I just flatter his master?

Thinking of this, I quickly coughed and changed my tune.

MC: But, ah, I think the prince must not be as scary as the legend makes him out to be….

MC: He did send you to investigate the bad guys after all. He must be a very wise prince!

MC: As for the curse, the “spokesperson of the demon”, that must’ve been a rumour spread by others!

MC: I respect him with my heart!

Kiro looked at me and blinked, the corners of his mouth bent upwards uncontrollably.

Kiro: Pff….Hahahaha!

MC: Why are you laughing?

Kiro: Nothing, nothing. When I go back, I will convey your compliments to the prince! 

Kiro: When this matter is over, he will definitely reward you greatly. You can make any request.

MC: Really? Then I’ll have to think hard about what reward I want from the prince.

Seeing him happy made me happy. I turned the conversation back to the topic at hand. *Changed some wording*

MC: So, the last time you snuck into Lord Jinsha’s mansion, was it also to investigate this matter?

Kiro nodded.

Kiro: I found an incense with a strange composition in Wangcheng. This incense has a strong aroma and is highly addictive.

Kiro: Long-term exposure will cause people to lose their souls.

Kiro: I tracked it down all the way here and finally found the main supplier of the spice; the so-called “Master of Golden Sand”. 

Kiro: But he’s good at covering his tracks. If there is no concrete evidence that he sold it, then it’s difficult to convict him.

Kiro looked back at the small house as he said this, his face contemplative.

MC: Kiro, did you think of something?

Kiro: It’s just a theory that I have that has a few loose ends. It can only be verified after successfully sneaking in.

Kiro and I had a simple meal at the market. On the way back, we suddenly found a circle of people in front of the caravan.

It was Lord Jinsha’s guards.

Kiro and I quickly glanced at each other and then walked towards the caravan together.

Kiro: Is there anything wrong, sir?

Guard: You are the famous artist couple travelling the city recently?

The guard raised his jaw arrogantly.

Guard: Follow us.

(Cut to the mansion)

Dancer: MC, your solo dance is really good! Your footwork is especially light, just like stepping on a cloud!

MC: Haha, thanks for your compliment.

I absent-mindedly exchanged greetings with other travelling artists. However, the big rock in my heart never lightened up.

The evening before yesterday, the guards took us to the mansion of Lord Jinsha. They told us that he would be holding a banquet in two days and we would be the entertainers who will perform for the banquet.

Everything is going according to plan but Kiro and I both felt a little uneasy.

It felt as if we were prey on a cobweb and some kind of behemoth spider was hanging above us, its saliva dripping greedily.

And just two hours ago, Kiro was called away by Lord Jinsha’s guests, saying that he would be performing for their private banquet.

MC: It’s already afternoon, why hasn’t he come back?

Lord Jinsha’s guests must be some domineering bastards. What if they embarrass Kiro?

I was really uneasy. I finally gritted my teeth and slid out while the people by the entrance weren’t paying attention.

The Jinsha mansion is amazingly large with its luxurious gold ornaments and white jade luxuriant flowers. I hid under the shadow of the flowers, looking for the way to the guest house.

Fweet!

There was a sharp whistle from above which made me look upward.

I saw a hawk passing by a low altitude, drawing a sharp arc, and finally flying towards one of the small courtyards.

Is there anyone there?

I silently made my way to where the hawk landed.

As soon as I approached the courtyard, I heard two male voices talking in the pavilion.

??: Jinsha, the old fox, doesn’t answer our calls at all. He just pretends to be stupid whenever he mentions incense.

??: I guess that’s it.

One of the voices is low and strange. And the other….

It’s Kiro.

I carefully plucked the flowering branches and saw the familiar figure not far away. 

Kiro had his back to me while leaning leisurely on the soft pillow, playing with a string of jewels in his hands.

On the other side of the pavilion stood a wealthy, middle-aged man who looked at him respectfully.

The hawk was perched on his shoulder, making a gentle cooing sound in his throat.

In the afternoon, the bright light of the scorching sun made his hair gleam and outlined the muscles on his thin waist.

The kid’s expression is arrogant and cold, like a little singer “coerced” over to perform.

If it weren’t for him still wearing that coarse cloth, I would almost think he was the deity who mastered the sun.

The light is dazzling; it’s too bright to look at.

Kiro: He has already discovered that he’s been exposed in Wangcheng’s business network and certainly won’t dare to make a public appearance. 

Kiro: Tonight’s banquet, no matter what method you use, you must hold him back. If necessary, you’re allowed to make a little mess.  

Wealthy Man: Yes.

Listening to the conversation between the two, there was a buzzing in my head.

Kiro actually planned this banquet? Lord Jinsha’s guests are Kiro’s people?

Isn’t he just a spy? How could he make that wealthy middle-aged man act so respectfully to him?

Before I had time to think more, Kiro seemed to have noticed something and quickly turned his head!

Kiro: Who’s there?! 

[Third Part]

Those blue eyes sharply locked onto the flower bush where I was hiding. Knowing that I could no longer hide, I had to laugh out loud.

MC: It’s me.

Kiro: MC? Why are you here?

MC: I….You hadn’t come back after a while….I was worried….

Kiro was startled but the expression of the wealthy man beside him changed.

Wealthy Man: How dare you eavesdrop!-

Kiro: It’s okay, she’s with me.

Kiro interrupted him.

He shook his arm and the hawk flew away from his elbow.

Kiro stood up from the cushion. When he was about to say something, his eyes passed behind me and his pupils shrank.

I didn’t know why he looked like this. When I looked back, I was shocked.

A large number of guards were coming toward us aggressively!

Wouldn’t we be exposed?! 

Kiro: Follow me! 

Kiro made a decision and stretched out his hand towards me.

I didn’t dare to hesitate. I quickly ran to the other side of the pavilion with him.

Even though Kiro had figured out the layout of the mansion, the sounds of footsteps blocked our escape routes.

Seeing that there was a guard who could find us at just another turn, we couldn’t hide and had to rush into a room next to us.

Unexpectedly, the room was actually a small vault belonging to Lord Jinsha. There was a lot of gold and silver piled up but almost no place to hide.

If you were to take a torch inside, you would easily be able to see our shadows inside!

Kiro: Here, there’s a treasure chest!

Without hesitation, he pushed me into the treasure chest and jumped in after me. 

The small treasure chest held the two of us in such a confined space that we had no other choice but to stay close together.

Kiro held the heavy top of the treasure chest with one hand, the slightly rapid breath escaping from his lips fanned onto the tip of my nose. It felt as though it was burning.

The swaying firelight gradually approached and stopped outside the room.

Guard: Where did they go?

Guard: You must kill him immediately after finding him!

The word “kill” made me tremble. Kiro sensed my fear and lightly pressed his large hand on my shoulder.

Kiro: It’s okay. 

Just outside the door were the guards walking with the jewels under him. This was a life-or-death situation.

His embrace is so warm; it makes it feel easy to rely on him.

Guard: Over there!-

The yell outside of the door distracted the guard.

The chaotic footsteps gradually disappeared and the two of us let out a sigh of relief. We couldn’t help but look at each other.

With just a glance, my heart skipped a beat and my face flushed uncontrollably. 

So close…. 

It was close enough that I could see the thin layer of sweat on Kiro’s forehead, the worry in his blue eyes, and the suspicious blush creeping up onto the tips of his ears.

MC: I….

Kiro: I….

Kiro and I spoke in unison and closed our mouths unanimously.

Kiro turned his gaze to the side and whispered.

Kiro: They’re gone. Let’s get out of here first.

MC: Ah, okay.

We gently pull ourselves out of the treasure chest and tidy up each other’s messy clothes.

After the crisis, what came to my mind again was self-blame.

On the eve of the banquet, the mansion was in absolute mayhem. Kiro’s plan for next week would definitely be greatly affected.

MC: Sorry, it’s all my fault….

Kiro: You don’t have to blame yourself. They aren’t looking for you.

MC: Huh?

Kiro: I just listened to what that yell was about. “Incense Person”.

MC: Incense person? You mean….

The lost soul incense secretly sold by Lord Jinsha and the travelling artists who were missing….

All sorts of clues flashed through my mind. I blurted out amidst my thoughts.

MC: That’s why he has to recruit so many travelling artists!

MC: Because travelling artists have no designated homes, no one cares if they disappear as they think they just moved on to the next city.

MC: Have my companions also….

Ominous sensations rose from my heart, my hands and feet turned cold.

At this moment, my fingers suddenly stiffened. Kiro shook my hand firmly.

Kiro: Don’t think too much about it. 

Kiro: Let’s change our thinking. Since some people who tried the spice were able to escape its effects, it means that they must have been hiding somewhere from Lord Jinsha.

Kiro: We just need to find them and rescue them.

The warmth from his palm calmed my anxiety.

I grinned reluctantly at him and nodded.

Kiro: The banquet is going to start in a bit and the guards should be going to the front area. Let’s take the opportunity to go back.

MC: Okay.

I followed him for two steps out the door before I suddenly felt that something was wrong.

I lowered my head and looked at the floor tiles under my bare feet.

Although these tiles are exactly the same, the sensitivity of my dancer’s feet made me discover an anomaly.

MC: Kiro, the feel of this tile seems to be different from the others.

Kiro: How is it different?

MC: It’s almost like I’m stepping on a cloud….

Kiro’s eyebrows adjusted slightly. He walked to the floor tiles, knelt down, and fumbled with it for a while. He then knocked on the tile. 

Kiro: There’s nothing under this tile.

MC: It’s empty?

MC: Could it be that he hid the “Incense Person” underground?

Kiro: It’s very possible. Let’s go down and take a look. 

MC: But the banquet is about to begin. What if the guards find out that we are here investigating?

Kiro: But if we find evidence of Lord Jinsha doing terrible things on the down-low, then we won’t have to attend the party.

MC: What you said makes sense!

MC: And he doesn’t deserve to hear your beautiful singing!

Kiro raised his eyebrows when he heard what I said, his eyes bright.

Kiro: Yes. This time, his crime must be completely exposed! 

[Fourth Part]

The tile opened downwards, revealing a ruined black passage; it stared at us like an abyss.

Kiro walked in front, holding on to me with one hand and the wall with the other, carefully exploring onward.

After stepping onto the last step around the corner, a light suddenly appeared in front of him.

Kiro: Follow me.

Walking out of the passage, what is presented before us is the underground treasure room of Lord Jinsha!

Boxes of gold and silver, gorgeous jewelry, expensive cloth….

Treasures even rarer than the ones above us are collected in this dark secret room.

It exuded a sparkling light under the flaming glow of the torches.

Kiro probed around and followed the flames. Suddenly, his eyes lit up.

Kiro: There is a secret door here! 

We rushed to the secret stone door. Upon pushing the door open a crack, a scent of moly and a weird spice came flooding out from it. 

Everyone was wearing the costumes they used for their performance but their eyes were glazed over; like a group of dolls at the mercy of others.

Like the lost souls I saw in the slums.

MC: You were right! Everyone is here!

In the depths of the crowds, I suddenly saw my companion!

She seemed to still have some form of consciousness. After hearing what I said, she turned slightly in my direction, showing me a desperate smile.

MC: Ah, come on, Kiro! We have to rescue them!

Kiro: I know. Go and call out for help-

Lord Jinsha: Who do you want to call out for, little mouse?

A voice rang out from behind us; with black malice like a serpent’s message.

Kiro and I turned around suddenly. Lord Jinsha led a large number of guards into the secret room.

He sneered and looked at us; as if he were looking at two dying bugs.

I saw his fat and ugly face. I felt my anger instantly rush to the top of my head.

MC: Why are you doing this to them?!

Lord Jinsha: Why?

Lord Jinsha: As I see it, these travelling artists are the dregs of society and have no value at all.

Lord Jinsha: They should be honoured to try the incense for me.

MC: You-!

Kiro: How could these travelling artists be worthless? 

Kiro: They have travelled to many different places, danced and sang, and spread the joy of life to many others.

Kiro: They are truly priceless “golden sands” and treasures in this country.

Kiro: The only one with no value here is you.

Kiro held back some anger in that retort.

Lord Jinsha’s squinted eyes immediately turned to Kiro.

Lord Jinsha: Eh, are you the little mouse that sneaked in some time ago?

Kiro: ….

Lord Jinsha: Mouse, do you think that I don’t know who you are? You are as crazy and ridiculous as your master.

Lord Jinsha: A prince, who’s been locked in a palace all his life, wants to bring me down? You wish!

He waved his hand and the guards behind him lunged at us!

A cold light flashed in an instant, Kiro’s eyes were dazzling. He took me in his arms and spit out two words.

Kiro: Weapons down! *Changed some wording here*

When he finished speaking, the guards in front of him suddenly trembled as if someone had pitched their wrists. Their fingers released the hilts of the scimitars they were holding.

When the scimitars fell to the ground, Kiro kicked a few people out of the way and led me to the door.

Lord Jinsha opened his mouth in disbelief.

Lord Jinsha: Who are you?! Impossible! Don’t you dare try to escape!

The man stepped back suddenly and pulled down a mechanism on the wall!

In an instant, a hole in the wall appeared, and a row of arrows shot straight at us!

MC: Watch out!

My instinct was to push Kiro out of the way. In the next instant, the sharp pain of an arrow in my back hit me.

I gritted my teeth and called to Kiro with the last bit of breath in me.

MC: Kiro, get out quickly! Tell everyone this! Tell the silver-haired prince!

Kiro: The prince already knew. 

My eyes widened. Before I realized what he meant, I fell to the ground.

Darkness and warmth surrounded me together.

??: Wake up, MC….Wake up….

A faint voice rang in my ear, urging me to open my eyes.

MC: Huh?....

I slowly opened up my eyes. There was a bright moon above my head.

MC: I’m here….

I looked around and found that I was still in the courtyard of Lord Jinsha, surrounded by countless royal guards escorting the other guards in an orderly manner.

The wound on my back seemed to have been cleaned and bandaged. It didn’t hurt so much now.

MC:  What’s going on here?

Companion: Don’t you know?! The silver-haired prince is here!

Companion: He wiped out all the bad guys and rescued us all!

MC: What about Kiro?

Companion: Who is Kiro?

There was no need for her to answer; I have already seen him.

The golden-haired Kiro stood in the crowd surrounded by guards and attendants, and those who called him a prince.

Kiro seemed to sense my gaze. He turned his head and looked at me. He subconsciously took a couple of steps towards me before suddenly stopping again.

Kiro: I…. 

MC: You lied to me.

MC: Did you not trust me? We are partners yet you actually want to keep your true identity hidden….

Kiro: I don’t distrust you.

MC: What’s that?

Kiro: Ever since I was born, people have said that my voice is cursed by the demon and cannot be listened to.

Kiro: Although the royal family explained that it wasn’t a curse, everyone was still afraid of me.

Kiro: So, I can only pretend to be a shameless “silver-haired prince”. 

He stared at me quietly, his every word sincere.

Kiro: You’re the only one who likes to talk to me and hear me sing.

Kiro: So I want to talk to you all the time and sing to you as Kiro.

He paused and said it again.

Kiro: Sorry, MC.

Maybe there was some kind of magic in his voice but, just listening like this, my heart swelled and thumped wildly because of his words.

But how can I forgive this “liar” so easily?!

MC: I remember that you promised me that the prince will reward me greatly after the matter is over, right?

Kiro: I remember. 

MC: I’ll think of a reward now and the punishment for you lying to me, which I’ll only tell you, also.

I stretched my hand out in front of him.

MC: Your Royal Highness, please come and honour it!

Kiro’s expression stiffened as if waiting for some kind of cruel prank, and walked towards me with a guilty conscience.

The moment he leaned over, I hooked my arms around his neck.

MC: The punishment is that His Royal Highness must do whatever I say. 

MC: Just say….

My lips pressed against his cheek.

MC: “I want to talk to MC for a hundred years and sing songs for her for a hundred years.” 

Wind and sand rolled over the hills and the travelling artist’s caravan set off again.

They sang travelling ballads, letting the story of the silver-haired prince spread across the mainland.

Legend has it that on a bright and sunny day, the prince’s always-closed palace doors suddenly opened up and welcomed everyone. 

There is no demon nor a curse; only laughter and good wine.

The beautiful and timeless singing of the prince will always be heard in the palace, making the people happy.

And wherever the singing sounds, there will be a girl to accompany him.

[End]

You can read the call that comes after this date here!~

#mr love queen's choice #mr love #mlqc spoilers #date translation #mlqc kiro #mr love kiro #mlqc #mr love dream date #zhou qiluo #I loved that ending!

[iamtheblondestblonde]

Clear as Day

 Part One?

AN: Here’s some friends with benefits with Vince that I came up with in between cases at work. Vince if you’re reading this I’m so sorry please stop right here but also hmu I swear I just wanna be friends. I don’t know much about being a pediatric nurse (financial law anyone?) but I did volunteer at a hospital for a while so I hope it’s not super far off. I have plans and some stuff written for a part two that could be the same length so let me know you want one but it could be complete like this. (First person narrative but again no names or descriptions for the mc)

Warnings: language, definitely (also English isn’t my first language so perhaps some mistakes) and smut, also definitely (yes you read that right I did it again)

Word Count: 13.3k

I loved my job. I really did. I found it rewarding to be able to make tiny faces light up but I was currently on my second day of 12 hour back to back shifts, with yesterday closer to 14 hours, and I just really wanted to spend the entire day in bed.

It wasn’t even 7 a.m. yet and the streets of Toronto were already bustling, everybody preparing for a busy day. The sound of the ice cubes sloshing around in my coffee had become a staple background noise for the walk from the employee parking lot to the front entrance of the hospital, it soothed me.

As soon as I stepped into the building I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face, despite being sleep-deprived and basically needing a break already. There was a new drawing pinned to the wall by the nurses’ station and if the image of my smiling face wasn’t a dead giveaway already, it was hard to miss my name written on top of it in big bold letters.

It had started out as a joke really, a half-hearted complaint about me not getting as many drawings as others because most of my patients didn’t stay long in the ICU. From that moment on Lucas, my only long-term patient right now and all-time favorite teenager, had made sure that there was always a new one waiting for me every week. He was really good at drawing as well and I had an entire stack of amazing portraits, landscapes and lots of other random things at my apartment that I cherished dearly.

“He wanted to give it to you himself but then we had to give him something and he asked me to put it up so you’d see it as soon as you got in.” I turned around to see Mariah standing behind me, her face showing the same look of fondness as mine. Most of the nurses were pretty convinced that he had a crush on me and while I had to face lots of playful jabs because of that, she never gave me shit about it. She was probably about to head out and I knew that she only stayed behind to tell me this so I made sure to thank her.

“Is he up yet?”

“Surprisingly not, although he should be soon. He’s had a rough night and he stayed up way too long to draw but I doubt that anything could ruin this day for him, two dreams coming true and all.”

As soon as her words registered with me I mentally facepalmed, I’d completely forgotten that we’d get a visitor in a couple of hours. Because of Lucas’ surgery he hadn’t talked about hockey all that much lately, so I’d kind of forgotten that today he would get to meet one of his idols. I was about to respond something when I spotted Sydney waving me over.

Sydney was in charge of all of the pediatric nurses during the day shift, meaning that I had approximately three seconds to make my way over before she’d get impatient because she was always so busy. I waved goodbye to Mariah and speed walked over to Sydney, curious to see as to what she needed of me. She never beat around the bush, always coming straight to the core of things so I didn’t expect the conversation to last long and today was no different. She probably held the world record for fastest talker.

“So you know we’re getting a visitor today which means that I need someone to run a tight ship for me. You’re young and perky and I asked around and people love you. I know you helped with some of the Leafs the last time so you should already be familiar with the protocol. This is a big hospital and I want all of the kids on the list to get a chance to talk to Mr Dunn and that won’t happen if he gets lost so I want you to stay with him at all times, got it? I’ll get one of the on-calls to take over for you during everything.”

I couldn’t even get a word in before her pager went off and she jogged off after practically thrusting a file into my hands, unable to respond anything as she said something over her shoulder about this being a gift. I stared after her with my mouth hanging wide open, not really comprehending what had just gone down yet.

Being ‘young and perky’ had apparently just managed to get me demoted from a RN to a babysitter for yet another over-confident celebrity which didn’t really feel like a gift at all.

Lucas had told me all about how great this Vince apparently was but I had seen my fair share of famous people walking around these halls with camera teams following them, it was kind of a part of working with sick kids. There were exceptions of course, some of them were really nice but those were usually the ones that didn’t visit the kids for some good PR. While I was glad that it would make Lucas happy it didn’t really impress me anymore.

Besides I hadn’t really paid attention to hockey ever before, although it was hard to escape the hype right now with me being a St. Louis native. Some of my friends had sent me pictures of the parade from about a month ago but I hadn’t really paid much attention because I’d been slammed with work, not recognizing any of the players either way.

The file Sydney had given me consisted of a schedule for the day and a list of the kids that wanted to meet Vince, which was surprisingly long for this being a hospital in Toronto and him playing for the Blues. Even with my limited, read non-existent, hockey knowledge I was pretty sure that the team wasn’t liked very much in the league but I blamed it on them winning. Sydney was right, we would have to make good time to get through everybody.

I couldn’t exactly spend forever going through the file because I had mostly new admissions assigned to me and that meant lots of charting and running tests. I did spend my break reading through everything and trying to come up with a plan while shoveling food to my mouth at record speed however. Even if I wasn’t exactly thrilled with this assignment there was absolutely no way I wouldn’t be prepared. I would leave this hospital with the best possible impression of me, all things be damned.

It was kind of hard to focus on what was written in front of me though when I had three other nurses standing close by and ranting about how hot Vince apparently was. Lucas had shown me his hockey card a few times but I didn’t really know what he looked like because I was usually busy putting in a new IV line at the time, something he’d come to hate so talking about hockey was the perfect distraction. I was tempted to google him but before I got the chance my pager went off, signaling that the incoming convoy was about to arrive.

Unable to stop myself I checked my reflection quickly in one of the mirrors on my way out of the restroom. Call me vain but I didn’t want to end up in any pictures or videos looking like a total slob, even if it was just in the background. I’d taken the time to shower this morning but I definitely would’ve added more than the layer of concealer if I’d known about this earlier. At least I’d gotten my brows done and my lash extensions refilled a couple of days ago. Deciding that it was too late to do anything else about it I walked towards the front entrance with the file in my hands, making sure one last time that I knew where to take this Vince first.

It wasn’t hard to spot him in the group that arrived, the big shiny trophy he was lugging around kind of a dead giveaway.

He was good-looking, I had to give him that. Not in the rugged handsome way however, it was more of a defined features and beautiful way. The kind of look that got you dubbed as a pretty boy during high school, the polo shirt he was spotting only reinforcing that image.

I couldn’t really imagine him playing ice hockey. He was fit of course, but he wasn’t as big and bulky as I’d thought and if I had to guess I’d peg him as a baseball or lacrosse player, perhaps soccer even. If all hockey players looked like him however, I might have to catch a game or two after all.

I walked over with my big work smile plastered on my face, hand outstretched and he set the cup down to shake it as I introduced myself first. I caught him looking me up and down quickly but I wasn’t really one to talk because I’d done the same exact thing just seconds earlier.

“Hi I’m Vince, nice to meet you. Love the scrubs by the way”, he responded with a dazzling smile, gesturing at my outfit. Compliments weren’t a bad start, especially since I was wearing one of my favorites with an adorable blue and pink dinosaurs print.  

“Thanks, one of my friends paints them for me.” Not willing to dwell too long on awkward small talk I continued: “Do you want me to get like a wheelchair for the cup or are you gonna carry it the entire time?”

“I think I’d get a lot of shit for not carrying it so thanks but no thanks.”

I quickly introduced myself to the rest of the team before herding everyone towards the elevators because he had to be upstairs in a couple of minutes. The camera team was more intimidating than I’d thought and I tried my best to distract myself from it as I pointed out different things around the hospital, only hoping that I wasn’t rambling without making any sense.

I was pretty sure that Vince could tell that I was uncomfortable because he kept our conversation going the whole time, obviously trying to make me laugh. His own laugh was hard to ignore and by the time we walked into the room where a livestream would take place the smile on my face was real. At least he wasn’t just easy on the eyes but he seemed fairly entertaining so far as well.

I watched him do the stream with Owen, who I’d spent some time in post-op with after his surgery a couple of weeks ago, and then stood close by as he talked to the long line of patients and people who were able to come up here. Sometimes when he saw a special needs kid getting closer he’d turn to me to ask for advice and tips and even all that ruckus didn’t stop him from keeping up a normal conversation with me.

He’d pick up right where we left off whenever there was a small break in between people and I wasn’t only amazed at his multitasking, but also at how amazing he was with the kids. He made me show him how to hold a baby and I think I’ll never be able to forget the image of a cute little baby boy in the cup.

“I ate cereal out of there this morning”, he whispered conspiratorially to me after the mother was finally done thanking him and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Of course you did. I hope you put it in the sink afterwards at least.” He gave me a wounded look, as if me insinuating he was not a clean person was hurting his ego and I laughed even more. I couldn’t really tell if he was trying to flirt with me or if he was like this with everyone but the mixed signals he’d sent me all afternoon were starting to get confusing.

“You think so lowly of me, I thought you’d know better by now.” With anyone else the wink he sent me as he delivered his line would have probably been overkill but somehow it worked for him.

The fact was that I did know better by now, even if it had only been just under two hours. I probably hadn’t been this wrong about something since I absolutely botched a math test in tenth grade thinking I aced it and he had turned out to be nothing like I had imagined him to be. Perhaps the early morning sleep-deprived me lacked the sense of being able to assess character that I usually had.

When I told him that it was time to leave he looked at me with a puppy eyes, pleading with me to let him stay a little longer. Working in pediatrics I got this a lot but somehow it had a whole different effect on me coming from a 6 feet tall hockey player with lips that were practically made for pouting.

“But there’s still some people left that I haven’t gotten to.”

“There’s also some kids that couldn’t come up here because they are too sick waiting for you in the ICU and you won’t be able to see all of them in time if we don’t go over there now. There’s a tight schedule for a reason you know.”

“Fuck the schedule, I’ll just stay longer,” he said with a cheeky grin but not before covering the ears of the little girl in front of him with his hands so she wouldn’t hear him curse. At this point I felt like it was way too easy for him to make me laugh but at the same time I didn’t really want to do anything against it. These halls had seen worse things than people laughing after all.

“You fit right in with all of my patients, you know that? And don’t you have plans with the cup for this evening?”

I didn’t get an answer straight away because Vince took his time to talk to the last five families left in line before we made our way back to the elevators. I had kind of forgotten about the camera crew that was there to document it all until all of us were crammed back inside the tight space, my shoulder brushing against Vince’s arm so I wouldn’t bump into any of the expensive equipment.

“I promised to make an appearance at this club but they’ll wait for me. By the way, you should come as well.” At first I thought he was joking, surely he had to be as we’d only met, but his try at a winning smile told me he was anything but. Again, was this him flirting or was I losing my mind?

“Shooting your shot while you’re in my good graces because of the kids, I see. I’m gonna have to disappoint though, I’m stuck here till seven and then I have another 12 hour shift coming up tomorrow so I can have a four day weekend.” I had already kind of accepted that we would never see each other again, especially with me turning him down now, and I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t a bit sad about it.

“That sounds brutal. I’m throwing another party at my condo on Saturday if you’re free then.”

“I’m actually driving up to a lake house with some friends for the weekend, sorry.” By now I really was interested because he seemed fun and I wanted that for my last few weeks up here but his timing was truly the worst.

“Wow, you’re really making me work for it,” he let out a teasing chuckle then, running his hand up and down his neck in a very distracting move as he contemplated his next words “I’m assuming you have a busy week next week as well so perhaps next Saturday?”

“Ummm.. I already agreed to meet some friends at a bar on that Saturday,” his face fell at that so I couldn’t help but add “but you’re welcome to meet us there if you want to see how the working class parties. Bring some of your friends as well if you want.”

The smile he gave me at that was equivalent to that of a five year old patient when they get told that they could have a slice of the chocolate cake and it made me glad that there was no one monitoring my heart rate at the moment.

-

The next day was just another regular day at work and while I had lots of fun yesterday, I was glad to be back in my comfort zone. Working days was anything but boring and I had been so busy that my watch told me I’d already reached my step goal for the day halfway through my shift.

I finally had some time to update the charts while sitting down at the nurses’ station, desperately hoping for some down time soon so I could perhaps even grab another cup of coffee to stop me from climbing into a free bed and taking a nap right there.

I’d seen many people pray in this building and not all of them got what they wished for but somehow today must have been my lucky day because just as I’d finished that thought someone cleared their throat in front of me. I was ready to answer some questions from worried parents but what I totally didn’t expect was Vince standing there with two coffee cups.

“I thought I’d drop this off as a thank you for babysitting me yesterday and I had a feeling that you’d need it”, he said before giving me one of his dazzling smiles. He looked good in a black t shirt and some jeans, his perfectly styled hair in contrast to the messy bun currently on top of my head. That is if the rat’s nest could even still be called a bun.

“Vince Dunn you just keep on surprising me”, I responded with a breathless laugh, not really knowing what else to say at the sweet gesture. What do you say to a good-looking hockey player that not only asks you to spend time with him three times but also takes the time out of his day for this?

Well, besides thanks, obviously.

Vince handed me one of the cups and I took a sip before looking up at him in surprise.

“How do you know the way I like my coffee?”

Instead of answering, he pointed at something behind me and I turned around to see the coffee order list I’d started a while ago in case someone decided to grab some for everyone, my name on top of the sheet.

“I noticed it yesterday in passing, I swear I’m not a stalker or anything.” He blushed at this and it was so cute and unlike his otherwise smooth self that I couldn’t just let him off the hook.

“You know, that’s exactly what a stalker would say”, I responded with a sly smile and while his face turned even more red he burst out laughing. By now we had the attention of every nurse close by and I was pretty sure that all of them were eavesdropping but who could blame them, I’d do the exact same thing. People here lived for the drama, kind of a given with how much time we spent in here because it didn’t really leave much space for a life outside of these halls. Especially if said drama involved a very hot hockey player.

“I’m changing the topic now before I embarrass myself in front of you even further just so you know. I did actually come here for one more thing,” he trailed off before bending down to pick up a bag that I hadn’t noticed before, too distracted by the guy in front of me. “I brought this for Lucas so he has something to show his friends once he gets back on the ice.” He pulled out a Blues’ jersey and turned it around so I could see that it was one of his, complete with a signature and a small message.

Lucas had been an avid hockey player himself up until his kidneys basically decided that they didn’t want to work anymore a while ago. Things had gotten so bad that he had to permanently stay in intensive care with us until after months of dragging people in here to get tested they finally found a donor in a family friend last week. At least his surgery had gone well and while I’d miss having him around, I was glad that he’d finally get discharged to recover at home later today.

I took another sip of the coffee before getting up and walking next to Vince to Lucas’ room. Lucas greeted me with a smile, which only grew after he saw who was following me into the room. Despite having struggled for so long he had always been in a good mood, even when he had to celebrate his fifteenth birthday in the hospital a few weeks ago.

“Look at you, it’s your last day in here and things just keep on getting better.” Vince and Lucas did the handshake they’d come up with yesterday, something that was absolutely necessary as a hockey player or so I’d been told.

Lucas had grown up in Chicago and he’d seen Vince play for the team there but had only really started paying attention after the apparently best fight ever Vince had gotten into at one of the games. Obviously not my words. The connection between the two of them had been instant and all the hockey talk had my head spinning more than during the first few weeks of nursing school so I made a quick exit, leaving them to it.

“I bet every nurse wishes they could trade spots with you right now, me included by the way”, Rachel, my partner in crime since day one of our college classes together, said as soon as I returned to my spot at the station.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about”, I responded, acting clueless. With a raised brow she reached for my coffee cup, spinning it around to reveal a small note written on the side of it that I hadn’t even noticed before.

“You sure about that? This fine specimen of a hockey player just gave you his number and you still act like there’s nothing going on? Besides, everyone saw you two getting all chummy yesterday.”

I snatched the cup out of her hands, quickly checking if the coast was clear before pulling out my phone to add his number to my contacts while keeping my head down so I wouldn’t have to look her in the eyes.

“Oh wipe that shit-eating grin off your face. All I get is annoying parents and you get hot dads and famous athletes hitting on you out left and right. Like leave some for the rest of us girl, it’s not fair.”

-

Even though I’d shot Vince a quick text so he could have my number as well, I never really expected anything more than his response that he’d saved it.

To say I was surprised when he texted me the following week was definitely an understatement. It wasn’t a booty call either, no, he’d texted me in the middle of the day asking if I was working days or nights this week.

Me: days as usual but I’m actually on-call today, got luckyy

Dunner: so you’re home right now?

Okay so perhaps this was a booty call after all. Not that I particularly minded.

While his first response had been pretty fast he took a little longer to answer after I told him that I was home indeed. Laying on the couch in an oversized shirt and yoga pants rewatching some Grey’s Anatomy on to be exactly. Almost the same as working. The rainy weather set the perfect mood for a lazy day in though so I hadn’t moved from my spot ever since returning from the gym this morning.

Dunner: this Chinese place near me has a special two for one offer today and I wanted to bring you some to work

I still wasn’t sure if this was him flirting but I’d also never had somebody I’d only met a week ago offer to bring me food to the hospital so he had to be, right? I sent a screenshot of the message to Rachel but I knew that I couldn’t count on her responding to it anytime soon, seeing as she was actually at work right now. I decided to be forward, telling him that I wouldn’t complain about some good food either way.

Inviting someone who was basically a stranger over to your apartment generally wasn’t exactly the best idea, but I counted on the impression I had of him so far and the reputation he surely had to uphold as a NHL player. Besides, we had lots of medical equipment scattered around the apartment so surely I’d find a syringe or something to defend myself if needed.

Dunner: I’ll be over in 30 so try not to get called in before then  

True to his word the bell didn’t ring much later. I’d debated making an effort and changing but I wasn’t about to wear jeans or a skirt to hang out so that didn’t leave many options. Brushing your hair wasn’t nothing either so that counted in my opinion.

Vince had gone through the same train of thought as well apparently because he looked super cozy in some sweatpants and a hoodie that had gotten slightly wet, presumably from his walk from his car to the building as our parking situation was really shitty. He stepped inside and reached up to run his hand through his damp hair before shaking his head, making little droplets of water fly in every direction.

“This is why they don’t allow dogs in here”, I laughed, gesturing to my shirt that now looked like an abstract splash painting.

“Let me make it up to you with some of the best food you’ve ever had because I brought lots” was his response as he lifted the bag of take out while slipping off his shoes by the door, hair now sticking in all directions.

“Alright Dunner, show me what you got”, I said with a wink over my shoulder as I made my way into the kitchen, continuing my bold streak from earlier. I had also learned by now that nicknames were even more important than handshakes as a hockey player. I was pretty sure I’d heard him mumble something along the line of ‘Gladly’ but I was already too far ahead of him to be absolutely certain.

“You’re watching Grey’s Anatomy? Isn’t it like crazy inaccurate?”, he asked with a look at the TV in the living room as I hadn’t bothered to pause the episode.

“Yeah of course it is but I still like it somehow. It’s like the hospital equivalent of bad trash TV shows so it’s kind of my guilty pleasure.”

“Okay give me a quick summary of what I need to know for this episode so we can watch it while we eat.”

I looked at him like he was crazy but he urged me on, looking up at me expectantly from where he’d sat down on the couch. Eventually I gave in, trying to keep explanations as short as possible but even then it took me quite a while to get through, yet Vince never once looked like he was bored. He didn’t lose his interest in it after that either, only looking away from the screen to decide what he was going to eat next, all of the choices delicious just like he promised.

Stuffed like a turkey on Thanksgiving the both of us stayed unmoved on the couch watching episode after episode. Somehow my legs had ended up on his lap and his hands were resting on my knees, drawing slow circles as we made eye contact from time to time. Every few minutes his hand would inch up a little and with him biting his lip as he did it there was no way I would stop him, any doubts about his intentions long gone by now. I couldn’t stop the smile spreading on my lips as his hand finally reached the top of my thigh, softly kneading the sensitive part on the inside. If I was into hand porn, I would have orgasmed already at the sight of his hands wrapped around my thigh.

“What are you grinning about?”, Vince asked with an easy smile himself, looking at me in a way that told me that Meredith had long lost his attention.

“Just waiting for you to finally make a move.”

“I was trying to be somewhat of a gentlemen but I really can’t help myself with you wearing those pants..”

“Well you seem to be awful at it so don’t be one then”, I teased back feeling confident yet again.

In a flash he had somehow - I’ll probably keep wondering about the details for the rest of my life - managed to lift me up enough to shift me so I was straddling his lap, now turned on by his manhandling and the way he was currently looking up at me. For a second both of us stared at each other, trying to figure out if this was really going to happen. Vince lifted his hand from my hip to my face, slowly pulling me down towards him.

Our lips didn’t even get the chance to connect before my phone started ringing.

I jumped up from his lap, immediately recognizing the ringtone I had set for all work calls and almost kneeing him in the crown jewels in the process. One look at my screen told me that it was an emergency which prompted me to run into my room cursing. I quickly pulled on the pair of scrubs I’d laid out in the morning, one hand still pulling the top down while the other was trying to attach my badge properly by the time I made it back into the living room. Vince hadn’t even moved from the couch yet, eyes wide and legs still comfortably spread apart, a sight that made me want to climb back on top of him but unfortunately I couldn’t do that.

“I’m so sorry but I gotta go, you don’t need to rush though. Feel free to keep on watching if you want but please don’t rob us and make sure the door is closed if you decide to leave after all, it locks automatically. The food was delicious thank you very much and bye!”

I barely heard him saying bye as well before I was already through the door, not really looking forward to spending the next few hours in the chaos that usually came with emergency calls. Especially after how much I’d enjoyed spending time with Vince and how much I wished that we would’ve just skipped all of the testing-the-waters stuff and would’ve just went at it like madmen.

-

The weekend couldn’t arrive fast enough and by the time it was Saturday I was ready to abandon all of my plans so I could sleep the rest of the day. I’d gotten in late last night after working overtime and I probably would have stayed in bed till noon if it wasn’t for Rachel and Mariah bursting into my room at nine in the morning. At least they didn’t wake me at the crack of dawn and the cake they were carrying to my bed looked pretty delicious as well.

“Look at you, another year older and yet still sexy as fuck”, Rachel exclaimed as she hopped onto the bed beside me after they’d finished their horrible rendition of Happy Birthday. Mariah settled on the other side of me and I guess my friends knew me well enough because we didn’t move from that position except to grab some more food and booze until it was time to get ready for tonight. Best roommates ever.

“You need to look extra hot tonight, I want Vince to lose his shit when he sees you.”

Ever since I’d sent the screenshot to Rachel and told her about the couch situation, she had been on my back about the thing. Something about me needing to bag rich hot athletes for her sake. I didn’t even argue with her anymore, only rolling my eyes in sync with Mariah whenever she brought it up.

To my surprise Vince hadn’t been deterred by my hasty exit a few days ago, something that had definitely surprised me. It wasn’t the first time that my job had cockblocked me and it definitely won’t be the last and I’d met more than my fair share of guys who were absolutely not into that at all. The fascination with nurses died really fast once people realized how much time we spent on the job.

Vince and I had texted constantly since he spent the day with me and he had somehow managed to make casual conversation with a flirty undertone the entire time. We’d already established that neither of us was looking for anything serious right now but I had decided that I would definitely not say no to some fun with him.

Some birthday sex would be great for starters. I let Rachel curl my hair while I focused on perfecting my make up because I wanted to look good tonight, not just for Vince but also because by next weekend I’d already be packed so this was really my last big hurrah before moving back home.

The thing about spending most of my days make up free in sports bras, comfortable panties and running shoes was that if I did bother to go out, I put in a lot of effort. I was determined to turn heads tonight so I pulled on a black lace bodysuit that practically presented my boobs on a silver tray, a pair of jeans that made my ass look spectacular and some black stilettos that I hoped wouldn’t kill my feet in a few hours. I had to go braless under the bodysuit, the mesh part on the back making that very obvious and I had a feeling that Vince wouldn’t exactly mind either.

“Girl I’d totally bang you because you look so hot but that outfit shows off everything that’s wrong with you”, Rachel said as we all examined ourselves one last time in front of the full-length mirror in my room and took pictures. I shot her a confused look.

“Wait what’s wrong with me?”

“Well for one your ass looks bangin and so do your boobs and I’m pretty sure that I could tell if you had a dick wearing that and people with dicks are my type soooo..”, she trailed off and both Mariah and I turned towards her with an incredulous look before bursting out laughing, all the day drinking taking its toll already. It wasn’t exactly new for Rachel to stop making any sense once she had some alcohol in her but it was still just as entertaining every single time.

“I can’t believe you’re complaining about her not having a dick right now”, Mariah sighed and I couldn’t stop giggling at my idiotic friends.

“I’m not complaining! I’m just saying that I need a dick to-“

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence. Just – just for once in your life be at least somewhat normal please”, Mariah interrupted her exasperated and the both of them continuing to bicker still had me laughing by the time we climbed into the back of our Uber.

We were the last to arrive of course, because Rachel had insisted on us being fashionably late so by the time we made it inside the bar I could already spot my friends sitting in the back. She had also insisted on me wearing a stupid Birthday Girl sash, reminding me how many free drinks it would get me, but I drew the line at the tiara she had pulled out of her purse as well. I was too old for the full 21st birthday look after all.

After I was hugged by everyone and had received all of the birthday wishes and presents I realized that Vince wasn’t among the group, which was weird because we’d been texting all day and he had asked to confirm the time and place again just this morning.

It was as if my thought made him appear because soon I felt two hands gently grab my waist while his cologne infiltrated my senses. He spun me around and the force of the move had me reach out to rest my hands on his shoulders so I wouldn’t fall over. I knew he had done that on purpose.

We were standing so close that we would have definitely gotten in trouble if this were a middle school dance and the way he looked down at me right now made me curse everything that came to my mind because I just wanted to drag him to the nearest bathroom so he could bend me over the counter but of course that wouldn’t be acceptable in front of all my friends.

“Why didn’t you tell me that today is your birthday? Now I’m going to have to make up for the fact that I didn’t get you a present.”

I had a feeling that I wouldn’t mind whatever this making up entailed, if the way he tightened his grip while looking at me as if he was thinking about bathroom counters as well was any indicator.

“Because you don’t just tell people that it’s your birthday, that’s weird.” He pulled me even tighter then, wrapping his arms around me and wishing me a happy birthday after giving me a kiss on the cheek that gave me goosebumps. Before he had the chance to pull away however, I leaned up on my tippy toes because even with heels he was still taller than me and whispered “I can’t wait for the making up for it part though” in his ear.

He groaned in response and he dropped his hands to give my hips a squeeze before reluctantly letting go of me. Only now did I spot the two guys behind him that were all watching us with amused expressions, which had to be the friends he said he’d bring. Introductions were quick and I didn’t even bother to introduce everyone to Vince and his gang because the group was so big that the three of them wouldn’t be able to remember many names either way.

We settled into one of the booths and Rachel practically pushed me into the seat next to Vince, not that I minded of course. Conversation flowed easily, as did the drinks, and soon I found myself climbing out of the booth because I had just about consumed my body weight in liquid and desperately needed to go to the bathroom for something that unfortunately wasn’t sex. Walking over I could feel a slight buzz already but not to the extent that would make me stumble in my heels, perfect for a night out.

By the time Mariah and I returned I could tell that another one of Rachel’s plans was in action because now there was one more person sitting at our table, meaning there wasn’t enough space left for both Mariah and I. I was about to move to sit with some other friends in the booth next to ours when Vince, who was conveniently seated at the edge of our booth, told me to sit on his lap and that was an offer I would never turn down.

He grabbed my hips to pull me closer and onto his lap as he said: “Don’t worry I won’t bite.”

I couldn’t resist messing with him though, so I purposefully shifted closer to his crotch and leaned towards him so only he could hear me as I whispered: “What if I want you to though?” I could tell he was trying to suppress a groan and he gripped me even tighter, pulling me back into him.

Poor Vince, his balls were going to be the same color as a Blues jersey soon enough.

Unfortunately I couldn’t elaborate to make the situation even worse for him because I was being pulled into the conversation at the table. I could feel him growing hard underneath my ass though and the fact that I was able to rile him up so easily really did wonders for my self-confidence..

After I could tell that he had calmed down again I decided to put him out of his misery. Well, kind of. Me leaning across one of the pool tables as I took my shot gave him a perfect view of my cleavage or of me bending over after all, depending on where he stood.

“Are you always this bad?”, I asked after he missed yet another shot.

“No, usually I’m average at least but I guess I’m a little bit distracted right now.” He didn’t even try to hide him staring at my boobs as I took my turn. We’d both long dropped any pretense about where this was headed. After I made my shot I walked around the table to get a better angle for the next one, accidentally brushing up against Vince who now had a perfect view of my ass.

“I hope you’re only average at pool and not at anything else”, I teased him with a look over my shoulder after watching the ball roll into the hole the way I’d planned before straightening up again.

“Let me take you home so my neighbors can confirm me being anything but average”, he responded, his voice deep as he moved next to me, one of his big hands resting on my lower back to play with the fabric there, the heat of his hands practically burning my skin as I looked up at him.

Our intense eye contact was interrupted by one of the waitresses who walked up to the pool table sheepishly with a drink on her tray.

“Hey, that guy over there sent you this and I’m supposed to tell you to come over to him so you don’t have to, uh, keep playing with a - um - loser. His words not mine, sorry.” She pointed to a guy a few tables over who was decently good looking but radiated Asshole Energy off of him, his incredibly rude move not really helping either. Even if it wasn’t for Vince standing next to me I wouldn’t have touched him with a ten foot pole.

Vince had tensed up at the words and I watched him ball his hands into his fists, every muscle in his body tightening with anger. I had no doubt that because of his hockey experience he could hold his own in a fight but it wasn’t something I needed tonight. I thanked the waitress before setting the drink down and making a show of turning towards Vince, one hand trailing up from his biceps to the back of his head so I could interrupt the stare off he was currently having with the other guy.

“Don’t worry, I’m flattered that I seem to be able to distract you so much. To be honest I can’t really concentrate either because now I really want you to make me scream so loud that your neighbors file noise complaints.” Vince choked slightly and then reached for the drink that was sitting next to me, taking three big gulps while looking at me, his eyes dark.

He then grabbed my hand and I didn’t miss the smug look he threw at the other guy over my shoulder before pulling me towards the backdoor of the bar, the pool game abandoned without a second thought. The air outside had cooled down a bit by now but I didn’t even get the chance to acknowledge that because Vince had me pushed against the wall in a second, one hand resting next to my head while the other reached up to cup my face, dropping his head for a kiss.

All this teasing had finally led to this.

It was rough and yet sensual at the same time, his lips demanding and it didn’t take long until his tongue licked along my bottom lip, asking for entrance. He then deepened the kiss even further and I reached up to bury my hands in his stupidly perfect and soft hair, eliciting a throaty groan. When he pushed one of his legs in between mine I couldn’t help the moan that escaped me in turn at the delicious friction, followed by yet another one as he dropped his head to suck along my neck. I could feel how hard he was and it turned me on beyond imagination.

The thought that I would probably let him fuck me in this alley right now brought me back down to earth because this was not how I envisioned my night going.

“Vince, hold up”, I murmured and as soon as my words registered with him he pulled away, both of us panting.

“What’s wrong?”

I laughed at his expression, he looked at me as if he was truly worried that he’d overstepped a boundary. As if I hadn’t thrown hints left and right for the last couple of days. His swollen lips made it hard to concentrate because I just wanted to sink my teeth into them until he groaned again the way he had only seconds ago and I silently cursed his stupid perfect lips. I wondered what damage they could do.

“Nothing’s wrong, nothing at all. I just wanted to say let’s go back inside for like another hour or so and then we can take off.” The smile that quickly spread on his face made it obvious that he was going to say something not-PG-13 before he opened his mouth again to ask:

“Do you think your friends would mind if I dragged you home right this second?”

I had to laugh at that but it quickly died in my throat as he moved his hands to my hips to pull me close again before crashing his lips back onto mine. The going back to the others part would apparently be slightly delayed but with the way his lips and body moved against mine right now I would probably agree to anything if it meant getting to stay right in this position a bit longer.

This time it was less rushed and frantic and instead he took his time to explore every inch of my mouth while his hands wandered my body. Mine were roaming as well, from the neck down his muscular shoulders around to the front before finally creeping up his back below his shirt. I enjoyed the way I could feel his muscles tense under my touch but eventually we had to pull away from each other. We’d spent way too much time out here as it is.

“Let’s go back inside, the faster we get back the sooner we can leave and besides they’re probably wondering what we’re doing out here so long.”

The smug looks we received once we made our way back to the tables after I fixed my hair and make up and Vince did whatever he had to do to conceal his massive hard on made it clear that everyone had a good idea of what had gone on outside though. I’m pretty sure Rachel would have high fived me if it weren’t for the people sitting between us.

I sat on Vince’s lap again and this time it was torture for the both of us to wait until it was finally an acceptable time to make a getaway. I let Rachel take all the presents for me and she made Vince give her his address and phone number before she let him pull me into the back of an Uber.

I was pressed against him for the entire ride, his hand resting way higher on my leg than technically publicly acceptable. With every turn or bump in the road he accidentally brushed my core and at more than one point I had to hide my face in his broad chest so the driver wouldn’t hear the soft moans that couldn’t be stopped. I could tell that he was trying his best not to get too handsy as not to cause a scene but once we were alone in the elevator of his building all bets were off.

He walked me back against the doors, pushing one of his legs in between my own again and kissed me with a force that made me glad that I had tons of metal behind me as leverage to push back. He only pulled away once the little ‘ding’ could be heard and even then he only held off until he had me inside his apartment, barely waiting a second before he shrugged off his jacket, quickly moving onto mine.

Somehow we managed to make it onto the couch without breaking apart our kiss and I barely had time to admire his floor to ceiling windows before he pulled me close until I was straddling his lap. His lips were working on my neck again and I reminded him to not leave any marks there because I had to work on Monday morning, which only prompted him to move down lower, sucking at the skin right above the lace of my bodysuit.

“No one will see those then”, he murmured against my breasts and I moaned as he reached up to palm them through the material. By the time he was done I had several purple marks littering my cleavage and I really needed to see more of him so I motioned for him to take his shirt off, watching in awe as he reached back to pull it over his head in the perfect way only guys managed to.

His body could only be described as a work of art and I could tell that he worked really hard for it as I traced the outline of his abs, muscles contracting and goosebumps rising at my touch. The city lights made for the perfect lighting and the way his skin glowed in their reflection belonged in a museum if ever captured.

Vince reached for the button of my jeans and looked at me as if to ask if I was okay with that. I nodded before standing up, trying to get out of my jeans and heels in a quick but still somewhat sexy motion but I probably succeeded only halfway. He didn’t seem deterred by my struggle at all, the hungry look in his eyes never once vanishing.

As soon as I stood upright again Vince reached up to trace the lace embellishments, slowly moving his hands down lower towards where I really wanted them. Considering the fact that the bodysuit had already been pretty revealing in itself there wasn’t really much ‘new’ skin to see so far but he still looked at me with an intensity that almost made me shiver.

He reached to pull me down on him again but instead I surprised him by sinking down to my knees in front of him, his breath audibly hitching in his throat. For a second he was silent but as soon as I poked my tongue out to trace the ‘V’ on his lower stomach he let out a low moan, throwing his head back.

“Impatient much?”, I teased him, pleasantly surprised at my ability to make him almost lose his shit without even really doing anything.

“You have no idea. I’ve thought about this for days”, he admitted and I only smiled in return, moving to pull his jeans down along with his boxers without revealing that I had done the same. He got up to step out of both while I was focused on watching his dick bounce with the movement, amazed at the size of it.

As soon as he made himself comfortable again I grabbed the base with one hand while resting the other one on his thigh as I moved to lick the drops of precum that adorned the tip. When my tongue made contact he moved one of his hands into my hair, holding it back so he could get a better view.

“Fuck, you look so good like this”, he cursed when I finally wrapped my lips around him, taking the head into my mouth while swirling my tongue around him and taking him a bit further. I removed my lips and I could tell he was about to protest but any words died in his mouth when I started sucking his balls, reaching up to pump his length that was already slick from my spit with my hand.

He seemed to find his voice again once I licked up the underside of his dick but it was only a string of curses that turned into moans when I took him into my mouth as far as I could, my nose touching his pelvic bone. I relaxed my throat and swallowed around him, my name falling from his lips again and again as I reached up to massage his balls at the same time. I looked up to see him watching me with his pupils blown, hair sticking in all directions from running his hands through it so many times and his mouth slightly open. His arms were spread out beside him on the back of the couch and I wanted to take a picture to commemorate the moment, wanting to remember this forever. He had definitely never looked better and no one could convince me otherwise.

The hand in my hair helped me set a rhythm as I bobbed my head while licking around him and Vince was a moaning and cursing mess above me. It didn’t take long before he quite literally pulled me off him, running his hand across his face and taking a few calming breaths.

“You’re incredible but I don’t want to cum yet”, he finally murmured when he helped me back up and I wasn’t sure if he was only complimenting my blowjob-skills or more but the way he was looking at me right now made any thought besides wanting him inside me disappear.

“Vince I need you”, I practically begged and he quickly nodded before standing up with me still in his lap, reaching out to grab the back of my thighs to prevent me from slipping down. He somehow managed to walk up the stairs with me still wrapped around him while I trailed kisses along his collar bones and it was probably the hottest non-sexual thing I’d ever experienced with a guy.

He turned on a soft light once inside his room and while I would have loved to have a look around I was pretty distracted by the way he literally threw me on the bed before crawling on top of me, my legs falling apart to make space for him as if it was the most natural thing on earth.

Vince kissed down my breasts before suddenly stopping somewhere above my belly button.

“Okay I have to admit I’m a bit lost here, as hot as you look in it how the fuck do I get this thing off?” I probably shouldn’t laugh in such a somewhat serious situation but his helpless expression did nothing to stop the giggles that escaped my mouth. He was smiling as well and I was glad that we could laugh about the slight hiccup without it turning awkward.

I quickly reached down to snap open the buttons before sitting up and pulling the piece of lace over my head, discarding it in some corner of his room now completely naked.

“Much better”, he murmured, one of his hands reaching out to grab a hold of my boobs while the other one wrapped around my back, lowering us back onto the mattress. Eventually he trailed his kisses over the part of my skin that was marked up by him until he sucked one of my nipples into his mouth, his hand taking care of the other one.

Slowly but surely he kissed his way down my body, skipping over the part where I needed him most to suck along the inside of my thighs. The sensation rushed through me, my core already throbbing from days of built up expectations and I let out a whine. I was tempted to try and close my legs so I could at least get some kind of friction but his shoulders between them made that impossible.

“Patience baby, don’t you know that good things come to those who wait?”, he murmured and I shuddered at the feeling of his breath fanning across my heat. I didn’t even have the time to think about the fact that he had just called me baby or that I was actually a firm believer in good things happening to those who worked for them because he reached down to drag one of his fingers through my folds and all thoughts left my body.

“Shit, you’re so wet already”, he said softly but I was unable to give him any response besides a frantic nod and another desperate whine.

I’d fantasized about this for the last couple of days of course but nothing came close to the reality of one of his thick fingers dipping into my core. He teased my entrance for a bit, only pushing inside to his first knuckle but then I whined again and he pushed it in as far as he could. I was so lost in the feeling that I hadn’t even noticed him moving back up my body until he littered the valley between my breasts with heated kisses.

“So tight. I can’t wait to feel you around my cock.”

As if the words he’d moaned into my ear weren’t already enough to make any coherent thoughts disappear, he added a second finger and I arched my back into him, the change of angle just right in a way that had me gripping the sheets so tightly that my knuckles turned white. He reached dropped down to tease my nipples, sucking and licking them expertly while his hand thrust up into me.

My moans were already filling the room but then he started circling my clit with his thumb and I knew that I wouldn’t last much longer, the anticipation and desperation definitely helping to speed things along. He looked up at me to watch my reactions and the sight of him with his mouth latched onto my breast was almost enough to send me over the edge by itself.

“I’m so close Vince, please don’t stop”, I begged and this seemed to spur him on further, his movements turning even more eager as he continued to place sloppy kisses along my skin. It was the combination of everything he was doing to me that finally brought me over the edge, the release so sweet after needing it for so long.

He made sure to extend my orgasm as long as possible, only pulling his hand away after I whimpered slightly, the stimulation a bit much now. His softly kissed his way back down and along my thighs now and I could tell that he wasn’t quite done with me yet.

“How’s the birthday girl feeling right now?”, he asked with a teasing smile and normally I probably would have smacked him for this but right now I would tolerate it because I was still in my blissful post-orgasmic state.

“Amazing so far, could do better though.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mhm, I’m pretty sure I was promised some making up for the lack of a present and I don’t think we’ve reached that point yet.”

“Well excuse me then while I go back to work.” And with that he flattened his tongue and boldly licked one long stripe across my slit.

He started out slowly and I was glad because I was still a bit sensitive from my last orgasm, lapping at my entrance and pushing his tongue inside of me, making me gasp. It didn’t take long however until he grabbed my hips to pull me closer and onto his mouth, pushing my legs up to expose me even further to him and ultimately giving him better access.

When he sucked my clit into his mouth I couldn’t help but arch my back off the mattress again, burying my hands in his hair as he reached up to hold me still. This guy’s lips weren’t just pretty, they were apparently amazingly talented as well.

He replaced his tongue with one of his thick fingers, slowly pushing in and soon his name fell off my lips in a religious chant as he added yet another one, curling them upwards for maximum pleasure. I could feel my high coming from a mile away and Vince apparently must have too by the way I was grinding myself against his face because he quite literally dove back in, determined to shatter my word.

And shatter my world he did.

I was pretty sure I would have floated away as I reached my high if it wasn’t for Vince’s hand across my stomach keeping me grounded. My legs were still shaking with the aftershocks of one of the arguably - no hands down - best orgasms I’d had while getting head in my life. By the time I was finally able to open my eyes again he was wiping his face before grinning down at me.

“You look so fucked out already and we haven’t even gotten to that part yet”, he teased and I let out a chuckle before pushing at his chest. Leave it to him to make fun of me after he was the one who put me in this situation. Not that I was complaining of course.

“Don’t worry, it’s a good look on you. One that I’d definitely like to see more often.” He leaned down to nip at my neck then, his cock prodding at my thigh.

“If you keep doing that you definitely will”, I responded with an airy laugh, still kind of breathless. All talk died down after that however when he captured my lips with his again as he crawled on top of me, settling between my legs. Kissing him was definitely addicting and the fact that I could taste myself while doing so only made it ten times more hot.

Vince rolled his hips against mine, groaning into my mouth when his cock dragged against my skin while I couldn’t stop the moan escaping my lips either. Breaking the kiss he pulled back in a way that had him in a push-up position above me, giving me a moment to enjoy the view. His hair was sticking in all kinds of directions, his pupils so blown that they almost seemed black instead of the usual beautiful green and his muscles were flexing from holding the position.

“Still want to keep going?”, he asked and in my daze it took me a second to realize that this was him asking for consent. I had no doubt that he wouldn’t do anything I didn’t want him to but this, him offering to stop when he had done so much for me already while not getting off yet in return, was sweet. Especially since I had made it more than obvious that stopping was definitely not on my mind.

I moved to flip us over then, straddling his thighs and wrapping my hand around his dick, pumping him a few times and in case that wasn’t confirmation enough for him I leaned down to whisper a “definitely” in his ear.

“Condoms?”

“Top drawer on your right.”

Only because we weren’t in the middle of his huge bed was I able to reach said drawer, grabbing one of the foil packets out of the box and ripping it open with my teeth before rolling it down on him. I scooted up enough to line his cock with my entrance and while I tried to watch Vince as I sunk down on him the way my eyes fluttered shut at the sensation was out of my control.

While there had definitely been enough foreplay to make the sliding in part easy it was still quite a stretch, one so amazing however that it had the both of us moaning at the same time.

“Shit you feel incredible”, he breathed and I nodded my head in agreement, too lost in the pleasure to form any coherent sentences. Rolling my hips against him created some amazing friction that had my head spinning as I clenched my muscles, eliciting throaty groans from him.

Vince reached for my hips, gripping them tightly as he helped guide me along, my clit catching on his pelvic bone with every backward movement. “You got one more in you babe?”, he asked and to my surprise I could tell that I did. The fact that I could already feel it bubbling inside of me spoke volumes of our chemistry in bed together. This was a friends with benefits arrangement I could definitely get behind.

He sat up then, changing the angle at which his cock dragged against my walls and also making it possible for him to take one of my nipples into his mouth, gently grazing his teeth against it while tightening his grip on my hip as he thrust up into me. At this point I was a moaning mess on top of him but I honestly didn’t care. I hadn’t had sex this good in a while and the way he looked up at me in awe made it impossible to feel anything but sexy.

I didn’t even need any extra help to reach my third orgasm of the night with his name falling off my lips, the feeling so strong that my mind was absolutely blank and I saw stars dancing across the back of my eyelids as I arched into him with my eyes shut. He made sure to let me ride it out, groaning as he felt my walls tighten around him but as soon as I slumped against him he turned us around so he was on top of me, never once pulling out.

The pace at which he was chasing his own high now was relentless and hard and I would have held on for dear life if he hadn’t raised my arms to keep them above my head. One of his hands easily encased both of my wrists while he used his other to keep at least some of his weight off of me. I knew that a fourth orgasm was off the table, I was way too exhausted for that by now but he still felt amazing inside of me. I wrapped my legs around him to allow him deeper, the smack of our skin and our moans so loud that I was glad that we didn’t have any nosy roommates right next door. Those noise complaints from the neighbors I’d mentioned earlier might still roll in though.

With this pace it didn’t take long for his thrusts to lose all rhythm and I could tell that he wouldn’t last much longer. I clenched around him to bring him even closer and he groaned into the crook of my neck where he had buried his face, my name and some colorful curses falling off his lips. He readjusted his position so he could lean up enough to look at me while still holding my wrists above my head and I watched him throw his head back in pleasure as he slammed deep inside of me one last time, face contorting in pleasure as he reached his high. I could feel him pulsing inside of me and a pleasant shudder ran through me, making me sigh at the feeling. Perhaps this was my body’s way of saying girl if I could have, I would have.

He let go of my wrists then and I wrapped my arms around him as he dropped down on top of me. We both caught our breath for a few seconds which honestly wasn’t easy with the extra weight on my chest but it was a nice feeling. He had to carefully pull out and roll off of me eventually, throwing the condom next to the bed to dispose of later. For now it was nice to lay beside each other, covered in a sheen of sweat and still panting.

After finally landing back on planet earth I looked to my right at the alarm clock waiting on the nightstand, only now realizing how late it had gotten. Vince lifted his head enough to check the time as well and let out a light groan at the sight.

“You can spend the night if you want but we should definitely shower before that. Even if it wasn’t your birthday – well technically it’s not anymore – I’m not some dick that would kick you out in the middle of the night.”

I was surprised at his offer, I’d been with guys who were those dicks but I was even more surprised when he told me to pick something to sleep in from his closet before pulling on a pair of boxers and getting up to grab waters for the both of us.

I decided to postpone this until after showering, quickly making my way to his ensuite to use the toilet. I saw enough UTIs at work, I didn’t need them following me home. I was trying to wipe my make up off as best as I could with a washcloth and the face wash from his counter when he returned to his bathroom, a new toothbrush triumphantly in his hand.

“Found this in my junk drawer in the kitchen but I’ll be honest, I have no idea how it got there. The wrapping is unopened tho”, he admitted sheepishly and I laughed.

“Doesn’t matter, I’ll take it.”

Our shower was quick, both of us too exhausted for any more funny business but if my gaze had dropped from time to time appreciatively no one would ever know. He had an amazing body and I would have to be a nun not to acknowledge that.

Especially while he was naked in the shower.

I definitely wasn’t a nun.

Looking for clothes to sleep in turned out to be more difficult than I’d originally thought because of his affinity to clothes that were at least one size too big. Most of them would reach my knees in a really unflattering way and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to sleep while drowning in fabric. I tried on three, neatly putting them back afterwards and actually contemplating sleeping in only a pair of his boxers before finally finding one that didn’t make me look like a kid.

I could tell that it was an old shirt, perhaps from a previous team, worn down over time with a slightly faded print but it was comfortable and it smelled like him, even if I doubted that he had worn it anytime recently.

Vince was already tucked into bed by the time I stepped back into his bedroom, scrolling through his phone but putting it down on the nightstand once I got closer. I could see that he’d searched for a second charger so I could plug my phone in overnight as well and it was such a little gesture but yet it made me smile.

“I prefer to sleep on the right side, I hope you don’t mind”, he said as I climbed under the cover beside him. I shook my head no before responding:

“Nah, I actually like the left side better.”

“See, we’re meant to be fuck buddies.”

“I could already tell from the three orgasms but hey, if that’s what it takes for you to realize that.”

“You have a point there.”

Any other time and I certainly would’ve stayed up for a while longer so we could talk but right now I knew I wouldn’t last long. For a second I wasn’t sure how to do this, would it be weird to cuddle?

Vince made my decision easy however when he pulled me close until my back was flush against him, wrapping his arm around my waist. After our exhausting shenanigans earlier it took neither of us long to fall asleep.

The next morning I woke super early, my inner clock not allowing me to sleep past seven despite staying up late. I’d turned around in my sleep to lay on my stomach but Vince had somehow managed to keep his arm around me and get even closer.

I was slightly worried for my safety because of the fact that I had managed to sleep through a 200 pound guy basically laying on top of me but I’d slept like a baby. I could tell that Vince was still asleep by the even breaths that fanned across my neck but one part of him definitely wasn’t, poking my side. Bless the male population for their sleepy boners.

I was trying to let him sleep as long as I could, I really did, but with him so close to me and the images of last night combined with the very interesting dream I’d just woken up from burned into my memory I couldn’t help myself. I slowly turned in his arms so we were back to the position we’d fell asleep in, on our sides and pressed together spooning.

Even through my shirt I could feel his body radiating heat and if the night had been warmer it definitely would’ve been too much but right now I just wished for all barriers between our bodies to disappear.

My shifting had apparently woken Vince up successfully because he let out a throaty groan before, consciously or not, rocking against my ass and burying his face in my neck.

“Morning”, he said and I’m not gonna lie his husky morning voice did things to me that didn’t exactly help my situation.

“Morning, how’d you sleep?”, I asked, turning my head slightly so I wasn’t having this conversation with his incredibly comfortable pillow.

“Could’ve been longer but I don’t mind. Now that I’m up however..”, he trailed off, lightly biting my neck and moving his hand from my waist to grab my boob, rocking into me again, this time definitely on purpose.

This was definitely a friends with benefits situation I could get behind.

-

Somehow Vince managed to weasel his way into my life after that. He’d come over after I finished a shift at the hospital, spend the night and leave me incredibly satisfied the next morning when both of us went our separate ways again. Our time with each other was pretty short, only a week, but somehow I’d had more sex in that one week than in the last few months combined.

My last shift at the hospital on Saturday was, for a lack of better words, sad as fuck. So many people came up to me, telling me how much they would miss me and what a great addition I had been over the past year. When they brought a cake into the break room with a sweet message written on top of it I couldn’t help the tears that welled up. I could see Rachel subtly wipe at her eyes as well and I hugged her tightly.

“Remember our first day of classes? Oh how things have changed since then”, she muttered against me and I nodded. One thing that hadn’t changed however was our friendship. She was the reason I had come to Toronto, where she had grown up but it had been five years since I left my home to go to college and I knew that it was time to go back to my family and childhood friends.

“Don’t think you’ll be getting rid of me this soon, I’ll call you all the time and with there only being a one hour time difference between Toronto and St. Louis you have no excuse to avoid me.”

“As if I could ever avoid you, you little shit. But if your hometown insists on having you back I’ll allow it, I guess.” Her insulting me told me that she was okay again so I let go of her, the both of us still sniffling a bit as we each grabbed a piece of the cake.

When I finally made my ay back home that night Vince was already there. Mariah had probably let him in. There’s been some raised eyebrows at first but after seeing him here every day neither of my roommates was surprised when he knocked at our apartment door. Somehow he seemed to sense that I wasn’t in a talking mood right now, especially about having to say goodbye to the place that had been my home for the past year.

I was excited to see my family and friends in St. Louis again, don’t get me wrong, but goodbyes were never easy.

He greeted me with one of his comforting hugs that I’d already grown accustomed to before dropping his head to press a soft kiss on the top of my head before pulling me to the bathroom.

My shampoo and other toiletries were some of the last few things that hadn’t been stuffed in boxes and duffel bags yet and the sight made tears well up in my eyes.

“It’s okay, you know. I don’t like leaving here either”, he murmured in my ear as he wrapped his arms around me from behind, moving us so we both got hit by the stream of hot water. I wanted to forget everything but the feel of his naked body pressed against me but right now I knew I was too in my head to actually be able to enjoy it. Later maybe.

“But you get to come back every summer for a couple of months. I don’t know how long it’ll take until I can visit everyone again and even then it’ll probably only be for a few days.”

“That’s true. But your friends can also visit you. And in a few weeks I’ll be down as well and then you’ll be so annoyed by me constantly bugging you that you won’t be able to miss your friends here anymore.” My sniffle turned into a laugh at his words and I almost swallowed a big gulp of water in that moment, making both of us break into fits of laughter.

I was glad I’d have him with me again in a few weeks. Hopefully at least. We’d talked about our situation and I told Vince to hit me up again once he’d made it to St. Louis too in a few weeks and while he said he would, I knew that there was the possibility that he might not. I didn’t have the opportunity to dwell on the thought too long though because he’d managed to distract me yet again when he placed searing hot kisses along my shoulder.

If he hadn’t managed to get me out of my shell back in the hospital I never would’ve ended up with him in the shower right now. Or bent over the mattress a few minutes later.

Vince Dunn, the arrogant professional athlete, had turned out to be nothing like I’d expected and I had never been more happy to be wrong.

#Vince Dunn #nhl #nhl hockey #vince dunn imagine #nhl imagine #nhl writing #my writing #clear as day #hockey imagine

[tundrainafrica]

Title: A Tale of Two Slaves (3/17)

Summary:  “Soulmates don’t exist. Fate doesn’t exist. Everything is a choice.” At that moment, Levi could only watch as she made the choice for him.“

Reincarnation AU. Levi remembers everything from their past life. Hange doesn’t.

Note: This has been sitting on my computer untouched for a while, along with the timeline I prepared for a multichapter fic. Will probs go back to it soon. Feedback is very much appreciated.

Other Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14

Link to cross-postings: AO3

The forms were so painfully boring, Levi almost regretted agreeing to meet Moblit. One of the few things, if not the only thing, stopping him from backing out of the study then and there, was the hope it could give him an excuse to see her again. He planned to ease himself into the process of meeting her, not wanting to make a complete fool or a complete stalker of himself.

There was the option to ask for her number. The option to ask for her schedule. Or he could maybe just scan through enough pages on google to find some hint as to what the hell she does, where she goes and where he could possibly “accidentally” meet her. The last option had proved ineffective, Levi spent a good few hours a day doing just that. Just in case maybe, the links he found through google do change.

The sheer embarrassment and conflicted feelings that came with having delusion drive his actions, had Levi worse off than before. Although the nightmares that left him in pain in the mornings had become few and far between, he could not help but think that possibly the reason why was because he barely got any sleep anymore, kept awake by his brain trying to process that relationship he had with Hange and the story that was made known to him.

His five hours a night had dwindled into three when classes started. His brain having no time to process the dreams during classes and training, Levi found himself taking up more time lying awake in bed, building the world his dreams were telling him about and how Hange fit into all of it.    

The lack of sleep caught up to him particularly when he was sifting through the pages of waivers and information sheets in the coffee shop near campus at nine in the morning. The words started to blur into blobs and Levi became aware of how much he hated Calibri as a font, a small issue in the grand scheme of things. Lacking sleep and utterly frustrated at his lack of progress though, Levi was finding many reasons not to read them.

He eventually gave up, instead checking box after box after box. “When do you need this?” Levi asked Moblit who sat in front of him.

“As soon as possible… But I really recommend you read ---”

“Well, how much time are you gonna give me to read?”

“I don’t have any classes today so I’m pretty much free the whole day.”

“Same.” He felt the venom in his tone particularly resonate and a part of him regretted it as he said it. That day was particularly special. He had no class. With their coach out on a meeting with other schools to discuss the tournaments and line ups this year, he had given the players a day off. Levi pretty much had that whole day to himself yet, he still went to the trouble of dressing up just to meet Moblit only to find out he’d be going through pages worth of documents while half awake. “I’ll just get a cup of coffee.”

Levi was already halfway out of seat when Moblit took out his wallet.  

“Let me pay for it.” Moblit handed Levi a few bills. He had an apologetic look on his face as if he did understand the inconvenience the study would cause anyone. The look Moblit gave him suddenly made Levi self conscious about the tone he had been answering Moblit with since a while ago.

Levi took the money with a small nod of thanks. It was free coffee after all and he did not have much leeway given his monthly allowance.

When Levi got back to their table black coffee in one hand, he could see that Moblit had reorganized the papers, the uncompleted page sitting neatly on top. He had also opened the sandwich he had bought half an hour ago and was eating it already

“Before I forget, did you bring Hange’s keychain?” Moblit asked in between bites.

“Ah, I forgot about that.” Levi kept his tone emotionless for fear of having his guilt take over him. In fact, he never did forget about the keychain. It sat on the side table next to his bed, a glimmer of hope that that morning in the track wouldn't be the last time he saw her.

“Maybe I could come back to your dorm with you and get it after this?”

“Oh yeah, I forgot. I’m not going straight to the dorm. I have plans after this.” A blatant lie. Levi rarely forgot plans.

“Really?”

Levi made a show of going through his phone as he sat down. “Sorry, I didn’t check my calendar this morning. It looks like I have to work on my own stuff for my thesis with my groupmates.” Seniors did not have as many classes as lowerclassmen so the excuse for classes probably would not have worked. As Levi also was aware, the weight of the responsibility lost by only having two classes a week was replaced with the weight of the expectation of creating their own research to add to the body of knowledge in their major.

“How long is your meeting? Maybe I could stop by...” Moblit looked unsure about his own suggestion as if he too understood too the importance of thesis for any senior.

“I dunno. It’s our first meeting and it’s pretty important since we still don’t have much planned.” At that moment, Levi thanked the heavens for his course. He was taking an interdisciplinary track so people had the option to do their thesis by group or individually. His choice of his classes had made it so that he had to do his thesis individually. Moblit did not need to know that much though.

The magic word “thesis” eventually did work in the conversation between the two seniors and finally, Moblit had dropped his shoulders in defeat. “Sorry if I’m being a little pushy. I guess that keychain is just pretty important to me too. I was the one who gave it to her.”  

Levi studied the face of Moblit as they talked. Molit did not have the most memorable face so Levi had not figured it out at first glance. As he allowed himself a few seconds to focus on his features and match it to those in his dream, he realized that Moblit was the same soldier who was constantly following Hange in his dreams. “You two must be close,” Levi said. Hange and I were close too.

"We're childhood friends.”

Levi found himself envying Moblit’s place in Hange’s life. Not wanting to engage that thought though, he instead decided to digress into something more positive for him. “So you'd know why she seemed pretty enthusiastic about her thesis.”

“She’s just passionate and gets a little too excited at times.” Moblit gave an embarrassed smile from what could have been second hand embarrassment. “I really hope you didn’t end up hating her. She really wanted to get to know you.”

“Oh really?” Then why doesn’t she. Levi added to himself.

“She’s been studying athletes since we were in high school. One of our friends was actually the subject of our final thesis for high school and Hange won best research with her. She wanted to move on to studying more high level athletes and she was talking non stop about the possibility of working with an athlete here. Then when we were scouting around for athletes to possibly study, she started showing me a lot of videos of you. She could talk non stop about your form, the height you achieved, your body control. I guess that was until you guys ended up meeting...” Moblit looked like he was aware of the weight of that statement and had tried to lighten the mood with a light laugh.

Levi rearranged that last sentence in his head. Until she met me.

Moblit had trailed off from there and Levi wondered how what kind of face he was making for Moblit to realize he had felt guilty about it.

Moblit gave Levi a consoling look. “She seems to be progressing well with Elijah though.”

For a second, Levi could not fathom how Moblit got the idea that that sentence could console him. In fact, just knowing that Hange had gotten over him so fast, had his chest knotting up.

On the outside though, he made sure to raise his eyebrows and nod, to look at least a little surprised and interested. “How’s her research so far?”

Moblit shook his head in amazement. “She's working at a much faster pace than I am. After what happened with you, it’s pretty admirable she bounced back so fast.”

“I don’t hate her. I could work with her if she really wants to.”

“God, this makes me think I should have started earlier." Moblit rested his forehead on his palm. "Your suggestion might be hard... Last time I checked, she was neck deep in her research with Elijah already.”

Even as a senior, there were places on campus Levi had never visited. All of his classes were clustered in one small area of the campus.  The track he would rush to train in would be just a five minute walk away, his dorm a fifteen minute walk or a five minute bike.

He never had any reason to visit the other side which housed the science students and the laboratories. Possibly, one of the reasons why he had never met Hange until that day in the track.

It was a ten minute walk from his dormitory, in a completely different direction from his buildings and the track. He decided to abandon his bike for the more flexible option of walking. He did not know if they had have any place to park a bike nor how long he would be there. More importantly, he wanted the freedom of slowing his pace without considering the traffic as he took in the unfamiliar scenery.

Third floor. Fritz Hall.

In fact, he did not need the directions to the biology department. He could have easily asked anyone among the students there. The more important information was the room number and the laboratory name.

He clutched the keychain in his pocket and  took the stairs two at a time arriving into a narrow corridor that stretched into both directions.

Thesis labs. Or that was how Mobilit described them. Each biology professor managed a laboratory for students. There were those who focused on internal medicine, those who focused on epidemiology. In each of those rooms was an office and a lab for senior students doing research under the guidance of a professor of a similar specialty.

If he wanted to find Hange, the office was their best chance. Room 301. It would be at one of the ends of the corridors. He only had to figure out the order of the numbers and from there, walk towards the end of the hall. He gripped the handle of the door and pushed it down, only pushing slightly at the door to open a crack wide enough to peek in.

“May I help you?”

“You’re Erwin Smith…” Just like with Hange, Levi had quickly picked up the name as he saw him.

“Yes I am. Nice to meet you.” Erwin did not look surprised to see that someone had named him by face. That was enough of a hint for Levi to realize that that man was probably their professor on top of how he dressed and how he carried himself.

“I’m looking for Hange Zoe.” Levi decided at that moment not to lie. He was sure he could find a reason to justify wanting to give it directly to Hange. He did not want to consider it at that moment. He just wanted to see her.

“She has class now but you can wait for her inside the lab." He gave Levi a onceover. You must be Elijah then.”

Levi gave a subtle nod, hoping Erwin would at least not take that as a full yes later on. At that point in time, he just wanted to minimize the questions he might need to answer. HIs heart was beating hard and his mind was racing. He had gone behind Moblit’s back, taking note of the schedule shared to him and picking a time where Moblit would not be in the office. Pretense and lies were nothing new to Levi but the presence of Erwin in the room particularly made Levi feel dirty for going through all that just to meet one person. With Erwin in front of him, for the first time he felt guilty lying.

"It's obvious from your build that you've been jumping and running your whole life. I hope you could give Hange some good data. All she’s been talking about was this study since I agreed to take her in."

“What’s her research about?” Was she enjoying working with Elijah so far? Was she happy? There were too many things Levi had wanted to ask but he found himself treading along the narrow path of things only Elijah would have known.

Erwin looked at him questioningly. “She wants to do a case study. I expected she’d at least tell you that much.” He shook his head and smiled. “She always had trouble explaining science jargon to the average person.”

Levi wanted to kick himself. Erwin at least answered his own question on any suspicion he might have about Levi (or Elijah.)

“Elijah, do me a favor and ask her yourself. I’d rather Hange also learned how to communicate science to the average person.” Erwin tapped Levi on the shoulder. “Make yourself at home. NIfa’s in the laboratory right now so she can keep you company. You can also use the computer while waiting.”

Levi only noticed the book bag Erwin was holding to his side as he looked back at him. He could not help but feel a bout of disappointment as he saw the professor walk away. It felt like there was still a lot to learn from him.

Levi entered the laboratory to find a woman with auburn hair hunched over a microscope. “Where’s Erwin going?” He asked.

“Erwin?” Nifa looked up from her  “Doctor Smith you mean?”

Nifa. That’s her name. Oddly, Levi did not need to ask for her name either.

Nifa only confirmed it a second later after chastising him for calling Erwin his first name. ‘Doctor Smith did not roll out of Levi’s tongue as well as Erwin. The most Levi could hope for was he never faced a situation where he had to call him by name again. A long shot if he ended up working with Hange or Moblit. At the same time, a worry he did not want to occupy himself with again.

“Hange’s class ends at two so you’re gonna have to wait an extra thirty minutes. You can use the computer over there to pass the time.”

Levi looked down at his phone to see only one bar on the upper right.

“Yeah, problems about being stationed at the corner of the building. No signal. And the wifi is only strong enough for a laptop.” Nifa gestured at her own laptop next to the microscope.

Levi walked towards the computer. It was an older model but it looked well loved. He only had to click on his mouse for the screen to boot up to the home screen with some desktop background which looked like some campaign for underprivileged kids and untapped potentials.

He clicked on the google chrome icon. The option to restore pages from a previous session popped up. He had considered completely ignoring it but he considered it might be someone’s precious browsing history and instead decided to leave it on and to just open an incognito instead for his own personal browsing

He was ready to open one up when he saw the tabs that had opened up in front of him.

Ackerman bags gold, Miller silver in the Collegiate Cup.

Levi looked to the profile on the right to see that it was Hange’s Google profile logged into the account. She was researching him?

That small glimmer of what could have been happiness dissipated as soon as Levi figured out the pattern of the articles.

It wasn’t about him.

High Jump Superstar Miller breaks record in high school meet.

Miller commits to Paradis University.

College sophomore Miller bags gold in Horizontal Jump Event.

It was torture looking through the multiple tabs that reopened. As painful as it was, he still  wanted to confirm if Hange really was ‘neck deep’ in her research. The bookmarked pages, he also decided to take a peek at had confirmed his fear. There were fifty if not a hundred tabs with article titles mentioning that one athlete.

Levi found himself closing the tabs as he went through them, a small rebellion to the reality in front of him. Hange probably bookmarked them if she needed them anyway. He stopped as he came across a Youtube video towards the end of the string of tabs.

WATCH: College Junior Ackerman beats both personal and national record for the High Jump Category.

Rookie Ackerman bags gold in the Regional Cup with record breaking height.

Levi recognized those tournaments. Those were his best jumps, one of them the most recent one he had performed, only earlier that year.

Watching the videos with the commentary felt surreal. In the interviews, he was the one answering the questions but somehow, Levi felt like he was still learning something new from the version of himself of the screen. He never did pay too much attention during interviews, only asking the questions when asked in the manner Coach Greg had directed him too.

Not wanting to confuse himself any longer with what seemed like another out of body experience, he focused again on Hange’s Gmail account which was logged into Youtube. Just to make sure his conclusion had been real. She was still watching his videos.

She had committed to working with Elijah. Why?  

“Miller was slated to be the new superstar in Paradis University with a vertical jump of 8 centimeters  and a promising record height differential of 40 centimeters.”

Levi jumped as he heard someone talk behind him. How long has she been there? It was her voice. Yet at the same time, it was too uncharacteristically serious he did not want to believe it was her. As Levi slowly looked behind me, she only continued to talk.

“But then four years ago, Coach Gregory Rivers scouts a new kid from a small town five hours away from the city. The kid had potential. Enough potential to maybe play backup to Elijah Miller. Levi Ackerman with a vertical leap of 76 centimeters and a record height differential of 37 centimeters.”

“Elijah Miller had a higher overall record. Mike Zacharias and Nanaba Briete too." Mike Zacharias and Nanaba Briete . Those were the two athletes who had cooperated with Hange's study back in high school. Levi had made sure to read her old research, in case he would have to use them to convince her to reconsider him.

“Your numbers in high school weren’t groundbreaking. Unless we consider that you’re 157 centimeters tall." The wonder was back in her voice, completely replacing what he realized was the scientist in her talking. "You did not have the height but you had remarkable control, the core strength, the leg power and the flexibility to fly over the bar even when you’re so close to it. That was what Gregory Rivers saw in you when he scouted you for Paradis University. What he didn't expect was for you to outshine Miller or even the seniors."

Hange came up behind him and grabbed the mouse. As Levi watched her go through the bookmarks, he realized if he had scrolled further, he would have seen more bookmarks.

Rookie Ackerman bags gold in the Regional Cup.

Super rookie carries Paradis to nationals.

She clicked one of the bookmarks and played the the video that came up. Levi could only watch silently as the Levi on the screen ran towards the bar, and propelled himself through the air. His vertical was definitely much higher than 37 centimeters at that point. In college though, no one in his team was counting anymore. The importance was he got through every jump without ever touching the bar.

"I wanna know Levi. From a nobody from a no name school, how did your height differential increase twofold. More importantly, how is it that you've not failed a single jump since you entered university? It's amazing. The amount of balance, core strength and body control to keep your body flexible enough not to hit the bar. The amount of leg strength needed to jump that high. You really must be superhuman.”

“I’m not.” Regretfully, Levi’s denial was enough for Hange to snap out of her state of what seemed like euphoria.

Hange put her hand to her mouth. "Sorry, I talked too much." With that, she resisted the closeness and was once again a meter away just standing awkwardly behind him. "I guess I should go back to work. Did Moblit tell you what time he'll be coming?"

"Moblit's not coming today."

"Oh... Can I help you with something?" Once again, Hange was watching her words and her movements with him. That was not the Hange from his dreams. The Hange that had introduced herself the first time they had met on the track. It pained Levi to see her like that and he wanted to make it right.

Levi had prepared himself for possible interactions when he read through Hange's old works. At that moment, Levi took control of his feelings. " I came here because I wanted to ask if you'd be willing to consider." He kept his words as careful as Hange's were with him. "I read your case study on Nanaba Briete and Mike Zacharius. And I thought I could probably provide you with similar data, maybe better data. Let me jump for you."

"Levi…"

"No. I wanna jump for you." Levi did not know what Hange had planned to say. At that point, he did not want to give her any doubts to build on.

This time I'm not going to lose you. A voice inside him said. It disappeared soon after and Levi wondered when he had he lost her.

#levihan #levi ackerman #hange zoe #levi x hange #levi x hanji #fanfic

[characteroulette]

GAME KIDS TIME for Dante Going Fuckin Berserk for the first time (cuz you sent it to me years ago and it's still sitting in my inbox lmao)

ohhhh nice! hahaha. I actually rewrote the whole beginning of that one night because I had the thought of "no, this needs more build up." because it used to just start with the kids in the Game, hearing the singing and then Dante popped.

(I also need to rewrite it again now that the kids are more Aware of Dante's trauma with Hell hahaha)

(here is a read more because I have more to say than I thought I would)

Then Dante's fire sparked up, a hotter and bigger flame. [...] They blasted Frank, Abraham, and Vektor straight out of the game and they hit Petel as he dove into the cover. The burns and the heat around him didn't cease, the waves rocketing out past the visible horizon in every direction.

I did my best to convey Inferno here and I still like it hahaha. getting the same 'fire fire fire' thing that'd probably be going through Dante's head is an interesting challenge, since we're in Petel's pov, but it worked out pretty okay?

There, in the middle of a scorched circle on the ground, was Dante, crumpled on the floor in a familiar way. Though, the only thing recognisable as Dante was the soft, wavy blond hair and the knowledge that Dante had been at the centre and cause of this. Dante's clothes had been torn and were now grey and all available skin Petel could see had been scorched charcoal black.

hey I really like writing character descriptions whoop. also, fun fact! Dante's Berserk aftermath is based off an Elsen (from the game OFF)! that's why he head asplode, actually.

"Why can't he utilise this power into a more constructive gain for us?" Vektor lamented loudly. Knowing Vektor, he was probably also waving his hands about and nearly knocking himself over from the movements. "Every time he shows any kind of prowess in his abilities, it's to our detriment. Every time! He's a jeopardy to the mission."

"Your mission." Abraham's voice came across as cool, but as annoyed as Petel was growing. "He made a mistake, it happens."

I just really still like this exchange, honestly. Abraham being the one to throw that back in Vektor's face was supposed to show his growth, but honestly Abraham is just really friendly and patient towards Dante ;w;

Finally, Dante said, "Sorry."

Petel's response was immediate. "It's okay."

"I-I got scared. And then. I couldn't stop it."

Petel gave it a moment of thought. Back to when all he could comprehend was teeth and claws and making sure every living thing in his vicinity was torn to shreds. He shrugged in the end. "It happens."

even now, EVEN NOW, Dante's still not being truthful about things. he just lies about the root cause of his Berserk because, to him, it's all Fear and Trauma wrapped up in a neat little package (named Orpheus and Hell, but no one would know that since they haven't seen Orpheus yet) and so he just tries to use his Excuse here in a desperate attempt to keep the others out of the loop still. Dante man what the fuck are you doing

One of the Gargoyles dove suddenly, aiming for Dante. Petel managed to claw its wing enough to redirect it, but it still nicked Dante's exposed arm. Dante's mouth opened, a half-formed scream not quite making it out, before his head exploded in a spray of black liquid and a column of black smoke spilled out of his neck. Petel and the two Gargoyles hesitated. For once, Petel sincerely hoped it was just that Dante had been killed, had been logged out of the game. "Uh. Paige?"

"What the hell is going on?" Her voice came over with a stronger terrified tone than she probably meant. "Dante's stats just rocketed up by a 400-times multiplier and he's got 5% health left and the computer's refusing to tell me why it's going mad like this."

The creature formerly Dante straightened itself up, now taller and with broader shoulders. The claws had grown and whiffs of black smoke drifted off their sharp tips with every slight movement, while Dante's legs had curled backwards and the clawed feet had become stumps, nearly hoof-like. A constant stream of black smoke and spurting blood oozed from the stump of Dante's neck. Petel had nothing better to say than a succinct, "Dante's head came off."

At this, the rest of the crew spoke in unison with Paige. "What?"

head asplode! god I love this scene a lot hahaha. the Gargoyles hesitating, like Petel, is meant to be significant! but Petel can't really pay attention to that right now since their friend's head just exploded. I struggled, also, for a long time on how much exactly to jack up Dante's stats and then went "fuck it, 400x is broken" and settled on that hahaha

Petel desperately wished he could explain it better, but his words were caught in the back of his throat and he knew that if he tried to force them out, all that he'd manage would be whimpering and whines. Dante grabbed the remaining Gargoyle as it tried to escape and tore its wings off, then tossed it away as it dissolved into code. Then the thing turned towards Petel.

Petel had no other instinct. His tail tucked, ears flattened against his head, and he ran.

[...]

Of course, Dante was right there behind him. It didn't seem like Dante could fit in the checkpoint or even get inside, but it didn't stop for a second. It slashed at the checkpoint with those sharp claws, making the structure shake and fizzle and actually damaging the thing. After a few slashes, Dante then dragged its claws along the ground, tossing up some sludge-like lava that splattered against the openings of the checkpoint but was kept out by some invisible force. The walls continued to shake and Petel whimpered quietly. "Paige. Paige, please."

Petel showing real fear!! also very good. also very significant. Dante's coding is so fucked up that it actually breaks some of Petel's coding, too. that Fear is just so palpable that it leaks out and infects those around it. (and also Dante's Warping is just That Bad hahaha, this is why he does his best to be careful all the time)

Frank frowned, slowly tilting his head to the side. "It'd be faster to force the log out, right?"

"What exactly is this risk factor?"

Abraham seemed hesitant to ask and Paige hesitated on answering. That was enough for Petel to figure out the rest. And it wasn't good. "He'd come out without a head. Wouldn't he?"

Paige cringed. Frank and Abraham's jaws dropped open. And Vektor, in fabulous Vektor fashion, rolled his eyes. "There's only a fifteen-point-eight percent chance that the system will mistake Dante's current form for his form on this plane of existence. The odds are in our favour."

"No."

Petel narrowed his eyes at Vektor and Vektor wilted under his glare. Paige twiddled with her fingers. Frank came out of his shock first, giving a strangled cry of outrage. "You'd risk Dante coming back headless and dead just to get him out a little quicker?"

Vektor gulped, voice unsteady. "Technically, he wouldn't be dead. The system would just mistake his current form for your reality." Vektor looked around at them expectantly, but Petel wouldn't budge. Not on this one. [...] Vektor puffed up again, getting huffy. "Look, if we did lose Inferno, why would it matter that much? He's of no great contribution to our mission, anyway."

"Your mission!" Petel growled and surged forward to grab the front of Vektor's suit coat. "Dante. Is not. Useless."

ahh, Vektor. (there's that line again whoooo) I have to rewrite all of this but I always want to show the disconnect between how Vektor treats Dante, because of his built-in muscle memory. Vektor doesn't even understand it himself, but he tends to treat Dante worse than the others just because it's what feels right in his programming.

the rest of this chapter is a lot of me getting the rest of the kids out so Paige and Petel can discuss exactly how Dante's Berserk works hahaha. man, I need to rewrite this...

Dante would get out. Things would be all right. They'd all find this very funny in a week or so. 'Hey, remember that time you went berserk and got trapped in the game for several hours? Wasn't that just a hoot?' 'Not as much as that time you ripped us all to shreds when you went berserk! Ah, how time flies.' They were good enough friends by this point, right?

Petel please what the fuck is this XD

anyway, yeah! those are my thoughts on this chapter as it is in beta form hahaha. the ending is basically Petel reaching a conclusion about his feelings towards Dante and that's why he just thinks of them as dating in the next one (which is also something I need to rework, aaaaaaa) but also showing off the trio as friends!! even though this thing is a couple years old by this point, I still like it a lot!

(sorry to everyone else hahaha if you're really curious about the whole chapter, here's the google doc of it. please don't make a mess of it ;; )

#Game Kids need their own tag #Dante #Berserk: Inferno #Petel #long post #Momo writes stuff #askbox meme #Momo replies to things #I had a lot more to say than I thought I would #boy howdy looking back on my old writing is. an experience. #I'm nearly finished with the chapter that comes before this too #fun times in the Game Kid world! #americanjack

[itsagutthing]

Places Carrie Mathison Has Lived: Washington DC Edition

i’ve been sitting in my own apartment for almost seven months of quarantine so obviously i decided to catalog the places carrie has lived! 

starting with her washington DC apartment/townhouse: the homeland revealed behind-the-scenes book included this very handy floorplan, which blows my mind as a resident of new york city. even with the suspension of disbelief that this is a tv show, so of course her apartment would be nicer than that of a real person of her age/income, this apartment is wild. why does she need a second bedroom? she has an eat-in kitchen AND a living room AND a “work room”? she has a giant patio? how much does she pay in rent? my headcanon is that she was super pissed about being shipped back from baghdad so she decided to treat herself to an apartment she can’t really afford, but come on. 

we know from episode 3.04 that carrie lives in adams morgan, which some people on the internet think makes no sense (i guess that neighborhood doesn’t have townhouses?), but without any knowledge of washington DC geography i’m going to roll with it.

now for a closer look! please enjoy as i make random observations about each room without any design knowledge or affinity whatsoever. 

i’m going to start with her living room because it’s the room we see the most:

first of all, i love the green brick wall. it’s the first image that comes to mind when i think of carrie’s DC apartment - it’s a great color, adds a little texture, and makes the room look really homey. we also have an ugly striped rug, which was probably on super sale, a less ugly striped throw pillow that almost matches but doesn’t, and a fun paisley throw pillow that could work if there weren’t so many stripes. there is also a comically tiny reading lamp, which is great.

you can also see onto her patio, which has multiple very nice chaises with cushions! there is a 0% chance carrie remembers to bring those cushions inside when it rains, which means they’re probably a little musty. i want that patio. 

there are also a bunch of framed photos scattered around the first floor, some of which i’m going to guess were taken while she was in iraq, based on the architecture. i like the idea of carrie taking great care to print and frame these photos while not unpacking any of the boxes we’ll see in her bedroom. 

this shot shows a few framed photos on the wall, but it’s hard to tell what they are. the first one looks like a building, and the other two might feature groups of people? i couldn’t be bothered to actually look for a better screenshot, so i guess i’ll never know the truth. 

now for her work room/study/location of many a manic spiral:

(i had to include the ~iconic~ timeline shot!) the giant corkboard is both visually striking and hilarious, since i picture carrie having to go to michael’s or whatever to buy enough tiny boards to fill her wall. did the cashier say anything when she bought these ~70 pin boards? amazon obviously existed in 2011 but wasn’t as ubiquitous as it is now, so she probably bought them in person.

i like the top shot because it shows that carrie’s tv is sort of centered along her Conspiracy Wall, so i can see her throughout the years half-watching tv and half-studying the wall to see if she can think of anything new to add.

the kitchen:

carrie’s kitchen is kind of boring, since she never uses it, but it’s really big and… has a fireplace? you can see the mantel behind frank in that second shot. what a weird choice. also, the woven basket on top of her stove in that first shot looks like the kind of basket you get in a chinese restaurant when you order a lot of dumplings. what could carrie possibly have in there?

here’s another angle of her dining area off of the kitchen. she has so many shelves! and random pottery pieces! i like to think those are all pieces she brought home from the middle east.

and now her bedroom:

carrie clearly loves to mix prints. i like that the curtains have almost a tree-branch pattern. i also like the painting above her bed but the colors don’t really fit with all the gray on her bedding. i would move it to the living room, and put the painting that’s above the mantel in her little breakfast nook in here. also, you can’t see it in this screenshot but carrie is listening to music using a silver ipod classic, which is the ipod i used in 2011 and still have in a drawer somewhere. the comically tiny reading lamp also makes an appearance! 

this shot is from the pilot and shows that she still hasn’t fully unpacked her boxes, which is a mood. i like that they appear to be unlabeled. 

here’s another angle of her bedroom:

this shows us that she designates different sides of the bed for sleeping vs. listening to moody music, as one does. 

we can also see that her full bathroom is off the master bedroom, which is weird to me. if she has someone staying in the guest room, does that person have to go into her room in the middle of the night to pee? or go downstairs? is there another bathroom off the hallway? how many bathrooms does this fucking apartment have?

on that note, when virgil finds her meds in the aspirin bottle in the pilot, does that mean he went all the way upstairs and into her personal bathroom? instead of the bathroom that we never see on the ground floor but is in the floorplan? that seems like an invasion of privacy, although it’s not super clear how close they are as friends, so maybe it’s not that weird.

inside the bathroom:

carrie has so many hand towels. no one person needs that many hand towels. she also has… scarves on a hook? is that multi-colored scarf the same one she wears in 1.11? i don’t think it’s exactly the same but it looks very similar.

she also has a walk-in closet, which is so neatly organized (look at how nicely those t-shirts are folded on the shelf by her head!) and features a lot of stripes, even though i can’t think of a single time we’ve seen her wear stripes. she occasionally wears dress shirts with prints, especially early on, but otherwise she’s a solids girl through and through. why is she buying so many stripes that she won’t wear?

here’s one last shot of her bedroom, which i love because of the jacksonville jazz poster and the free weights on the floor of her room. according to google, there’s a jazz festival in jacksonville, florida every year so i guess that’s what this is from. did she actually go to said festival, and did she go with anyone? i would read that fic.

in summary: green brick wall, lots of patterns, lots of photos + art, a confusing fireplace, and many questions about the bathroom situation!

#homeland #homelandedit #carrie mathison #this is inspired by sara's things carrie wore this week #also unhinged quarantine restlessness #i just want to live in this apartment #sorry to anyone on mobile because i guess read mores still don't work in the year 2020! #cma*

[haberdashing]

Heart, Don’t Fail Me Now

After Jon calls Martin his boyfriend, Martin has a confession to make about how that term isn’t entirely accurate.

on AO3

The mortal garden was well behind them now, though what waited for them up ahead was still unclear, Martin and Jon walking together in the eerie space where one domain bled into another.

The calm before the storm, perhaps. Or after it, when the smell of petrichor seeps out from rain-laden strips of grass. Or both, even, the eye of the hurricane, with thick storm walls on both sides but a brief moment of respite in between them.

Things were relatively calm here, was the point, whatever flowery metaphor Martin chose to use to describe it. The two of them hadn’t spoken much since Jon explained his reasoning behind killing Jude Perry but not Arthur Nolan, explained that he didn’t seem to be helping people no matter what he did, explained that getting rid of other avatars had been out of revenge more than anything else. The silence between them now wasn’t an unpleasant one, though, not exactly.

But something had been bothering Martin since before the two of them left the mortal garden, and he wasn’t sure how long he could go without saying anything about it, so he cleared his throat and prepared to break the peace.

“Jon?”

“Martin?” Jon’s eyes locked on Martin’s in an instant, and Martin could read them like an open book: first wary and worried, searching for threats that had somehow gone unseen, then warming up at the sight of Martin still whole, still unharmed, and only somewhat anxious--was the color getting brighter, or was that just a trick of the lighting?

Martin thought he had never really understood the old expression that the eyes were the window to the soul until after getting to know Jon.

“I- I want to talk to you about something. Something you said to Jared back there.”

Jon stopped walking, and Martin followed his cue, the two standing face to face. “What is it?”

Martin paused, hesitated, biting his lip for a long minute, wanting to savor the moment before he explained his thoughts. They were in the middle of an apocalyptic wasteland, and yet Martin felt--no, Martin knew--that what he was about to say might upend his life far more than any statement Jon read.

“You- you know how Jared asked if I was your boyfriend, and you said I am?”

Martin was pretty sure that even if all he could see of Jon was his eyes, he still would be able to identify every one of Jon’s emotions as his expression flickered from one to the next. Wide-eyed confusion, first. Anxiety, in which he couldn’t quite meet Martin’s gaze, his eyes looking slightly off to the side instead. Concern. Horror. Finally, a sorrow that looked dangerously close to grief.

Jon couldn’t quite keep his voice steady as he responded, though Martin could tell he was making an effort to do so. “Are, are you not-”

Martin’s stomach lurched as he realized where he’d gone wrong, how Jon had been led to entirely the wrong conclusion here. “It’s not- not what you think. We’re still together, or, or dating, if you can call it that...” Martin made a vague hand gesture pointing out their surroundings; anything that most people would consider a “date” was well out of their reach now. “At least I, I want us to be. And I hope once I’m done explaining, that you still want us to be too, that this doesn’t change anything between us...”

Jon’s expression softened, the grief replaced with idle curiosity mixed with confusion--a not-uncommon look for Jon, especially these days. “What do you mean, then?”

“The issue--or, or issue makes it sound bigger than I mean, but--it’s not about us being together, it’s the word. I don’t think I’m your boyfriend.”

Jon considered this for a moment, tilting his head to one side slightly as he thought. “It does sound a bit juvenile, I suppose. Though ‘manfriend’ doesn’t have the right ring to it, I don’t think...”

Martin laughed weakly. “No, no it doesn’t.”

And Martin could see a world where he left it there, maybe ribbed Jon some more about using such a childish term to describe their relationship, didn’t touch on the bigger issue behind it all, didn’t rock the boat. That would be safer. It wouldn’t be the full truth, but it would be safer. The calm would remain undisturbed.

But then again, Martin had already rejected a life full of safety and calm and letting his true self fade away into oblivion in the process, and he had no intentions of going back on that particular decision.

So Martin made himself speak up again.

“Even if it did, though, manfriend wouldn’t really be any better. Because I’m not- I’m not a man. Or a boy, for that matter. I’m not male.”

“Hmm.” Jon’s tone was neutral; Martin suspected that he was working hard to keep it that way, to conceal his true feelings, and he couldn’t quite read whatever was behind Jon’s eyes. “Are you female, then?”

Martin remembered a brief litany of insults hurled at him throughout his childhood--pussy, sissy, girl--and gulped.

“No, no, I- I don’t think I’m either one. I don’t think I’m anything. Does that makes sense? To just... be nothing?”

“You’re not nothing.” The chiding tone of Jon’s voice made Martin flinch, and only after, only when he saw the concern in Jon’s eyes, did he see that Jon might have interpreted things differently once again, might have thought Martin was making a comment regarding his self-esteem rather than his gender or lack thereof.

“I didn’t mean it like that, just, just gender-wise.”

“Ah. Well, then, it’s certainly possible for you to be nonbinary, perhaps agender then, though I don’t mean to force labels on you-”

Martin snorted. “If I can’t get a label from post-apocalyptic Google, where can I get one?”

“I knew those terms beforehand, actually.”

Jon went quiet rather suddenly, averting his gaze, and Martin wondered, then, whether Jon had meant to speak of his pre-existing knowledge so casually.

Had Jon known because he’d come across the terms during his own gender identity exploration, or because he had a friend who’d gone through what Martin had now, or because he’d somehow suspected the truth of Martin’s identity before Martin himself realized it, or just because he was bored one day and did in-depth research into gender identities as nonchalantly as he would do research into spelunking or alchemy or any number of other things that were just idle bits of trivia to him?

Was this the sort of burning curiosity that Jon felt just before he asked someone to tell him their story, whether they wanted to or not?

Well. Martin wasn’t going to force it out of him--he couldn’t do so as literally as Jon himself could, and he certainly didn’t want to pressure Jon into sharing anything he didn’t want to, either. Instead he just stood there and waited for the silence to become less awkward, waited for Jon to speak up again.

Jon did, eventually. “You didn’t mention this earlier.”

It wasn’t a question, certainly, but Martin wasn’t quite sure whether it was meant more as an accusation or as a simple statement of the facts. Either way, Martin could feel his cheeks heat up as he prepared to explain himself.

“I, I’m just starting to figure it all out, didn’t want to bog you down rambling about something I don’t even fully get myself yet. It’s just... all my life people have assumed I’m a man, and I just kind of took it for granted that that meant I was, didn’t think about it much until after we got to Scotland, and usually I’m fine with it, usually it doesn’t even bother me, but there’s a few terms where when they get used it gets under my skin and... and I guess boyfriend’s on that list now.”

It took Jon a moment to respond, and Martin felt like he was getting warmer and warmer by the second as he waited, like he was about ready to spontaneously combust.

“I see.”

Martin forced a grin onto his face, hoped Jon couldn’t tell how false it was. “Of course you see.”

Jon snorted in amusement, and Martin took that as a victory.

“You know you can talk to me about anything, though, Martin, whether you’ve figured it out already or not.”

“I know, I know, just... seems a bit foolish, when I don’t even mind half the assumptions, and, you know...” Martin gestured vaguely at the hellscape around them. “We’ve got a lot going on at the moment already.” 

“Still. Your feelings matter, Martin.” Jon paused. “Should I still call you Martin?”

This threw Martin off a bit, and he took a deep breath as he processed it. “That’s my name, isn’t it?”

“It doesn’t have to be, you know. If it’s too masculine, if it makes you uncomfortable.”

Martin hadn’t actually considered that, and he took a moment to ponder the possibility of changing his name to something else, anything else, before shaking his head. “Think I’ll stick with it. I like the way it sounds, and I’m used to it by now, anyway.”

“Honestly, I like how it sounds too, but that’s not what’s important here.” Jon leaned over and gave Martin a quick peck on the cheek, and Martin’s mind was racing.

“You’re... you’re so calm about this.” Martin threw his hands in the air. “How can you just... accept all of this without even blinking an eye?”

Jon shrugged. “I care about you whatever your gender is, Martin. And I know what it’s like, having to come out, explain your gender, navigate all that. Guess how long it took me to settle on the name Jonathan.”

Martin squinted, looked at Jon for a long moment. “I don’t know, how long?”

“No, no, you have to guess.”

Martin hadn’t seen Jon with that particular kind of shit-eating grin on his face very often before.

“...year and a half?” Martin didn’t know how long was the norm for that sort of thing, but he padded his estimate a bit, knowing well enough that Jon was the type to overthink those sort of decisions.

Jon let out a low whistle. “Thirteen months. You were close.”

“Guess I know you pretty well, heh.”

“Guess so.” Jon tapped his fingers against his leg as he considered his next words... “Do you know... what pronouns you want to use? He still, or she, or they, or any number of neopronouns I could name for you...”

Martin didn’t know what a neopronoun was, but he did know that asking would probably get Jon rambling on about the topic for a good half hour or so--or what would be half an hour, if time worked like it should, anyway--and he wasn’t quite ready for that just yet.

“’He’ is... ‘he’ is fine, I guess? I mean, I don’t mind it, it’s done the job for thirty years now and all, I suppose. ‘She’ doesn’t sound right to me. And ‘they’... all I can think of is my old schoolteacher telling me singular they isn’t grammatically correct, and I need to stop using it in my essays.” Martin grimaced a little at that particular memory.

“Don’t worry about the grammar of it. I think the grammar’s fine, but that’s not what matters. Does it sound right to you?”

“...dunno.”

“Want me to give an example?”

Martin silently nodded in response.

Jon looked Martin right in the eyes. “Martin Blackwood is wonderful, and I love them very much, and I think they’re the only reason I can keep going anymore, that I’d give up on it all if it weren’t for them and their determination.”

Martin’s face turned hot again, but for a different reason this time around. “Stop it!”

“It’s true. All of it.” Jon was grinning again. “So what do you think?”

Martin thought about it for a moment, tried to divorce what he thought of the pronoun as applied to him from what he thought of the pronoun in general, and more specifically from Mrs. Jameson’s old reproaches when it came to his essays. It wasn’t easy to do, but once he did... “I think I like it? Not entirely sure, though.”

“That’s fine. You’ve got time to figure it out.”

“All the time in the world. Such as it is.”

Martin shot Jon a wry smile, and Jon reciprocated.

“Quite.”

“Now, about the ‘boyfriend’ thing... what other terms d’you know for that, without the, the gendered bit of it?”

Jon took a second to respond. “Joyfriend?”

Martin’s eyes widened. “Joyfriend?”

“It’s a thing! It’s a word people use!” Jon threw his arms in the air. “And it’s like boyfriend, but without, well, the boy part. And you do bring me joy, after all.”

“Still sounds weird to me, and if you thought boyfriend was juvenile, well...”

“So that’s a no, got it. What about datemate?”

Martin hummed to himself for a moment before making a wavering hand gesture. “Maybe? I like that better than joyfriend, anyway. The internal rhyme’s rather nice.”

“Alright, we can keep that in mind for later. Significant other?”

Martin wrinkled his nose and made a face. “Too proper.”

“Fair enough. Besides, I think if anyone’s going to be the significant other in this relationship, it’s me. I seem to be significant now, after all, and I’m certainly other as well.”

Martin snorted. “And to think there was a time I believed you didn’t make jokes.”

“Well, I’m certainly glad you know better now.” Jon paused for a moment, hesitation clear in his expression. “What about partner?”

Jon’s eyes kept darting between Martin’s own gaze and the ground, and Martin wondered if his thoughts were consumed with the same thing his were when the term “partner” came up. It reminded Martin of Basira and Daisy immediately, and Martin glanced down at the scar Daisy had left on Jon’s neck. Their partnership was why Jon hadn’t ended up dead that day, sure, but it was also, in a sense, what had allowed things to get that far in the first place.

But then again, the two of them weren’t entirely innocent these days, either...

And that partnership between Basira and Daisy, that sense of having each other’s backs no matter what, of trusting each other come hell or high water, that was something Martin could certainly see the value in.

“Yeah, I, I think I like that one.”

Jon nodded solemnly. “Well, next time a fear avatar asks, I’ll make sure to let them know you’re my partner then.”

Martin rolled his eyes. “Because it’s such a regular occurrence.”

“Better than Jude Perry thinking you’re my valet, anyway.”

“Right, the valet for the car you definitely have.” Martin gestured to the space around them, which was entirely lacking in cars.

They’d had a car, once, back at the safehouse. Martin knew now that taking it wouldn’t have actually sped up this process any, had heard Jon’s speeches about how “the journey will be the journey” loud and clear, but still, part of him wondered now what would have happened if they’d taken the car with them when they’d started.

Would the car have insulated them from the worst of it, protected them from the horrors that surrounded them?

Would the car have broken down early on, as any normal car would when confronted with the obstacles that surrounded them now, having to be abandoned amidst the chaos?

Or would the car have become an eldritch being in its own right, like the safehouse was, feeding on the fear of those within it?

Martin shuddered at the thought and decided he was probably better off not having found out the hard way.

“Martin Blackwood, my partner.” Jon reached for Martin’s hand, and as Martin reciprocated the gesture, intertwining his fingers with Jon’s as he had so many times over now, Jon gave Martin’s hand a gentle squeeze. “I rather like the sound of that.”

#tma #tma fic #tma fanfic #the magnus archives #the magnus archives fic #the magnus archives fanfic #personal #my writing

[infinite-hearts-333]

Broken pack, Broken wolf

Sander sides, Analogical (Eventually), Logan Angst, Werewolf AU

WARNING: really bad writing, angsty, lack of sleep and starvation, swearing I'll add to this

Before

Part 3- Enter Anxiety

First couple of days were.... Interesting, but soon enough, things fell into a nice steady rhythm once more. Get up (Whether he was awake already or not), get changed- if he found the energy to wear his fluffy unicorn onesie to bed, put on foundation to hide his bags, eat breakfast with Roman and Patton, retire to his room for the rest of the day until he became exhausted and go to bed, repeat. It took three weeks for his stomach to get used to this new intake of food, and it took five days for Logan to be able to hold his breakfast down. He never came out for dinner, always far too full to eat anything else without being sick.

He, after a few trials and errors, found that the other sides awoke at a certain time, so he edited his morning a little so he was the first awake, around seven thirty, so he could read for a bit while he waited. It also helped since when Logan was tired his ears and tail enjoyed popping out for no reason, plus it was nice to sit comfortably with a cup of coffee (his new goddess/god, sorry Artemis) and read in blissful quietness until Patton woke up and began cooking.

Okay, truth time. Logan hated change. He liked following a routine and instructions, in fact, not that he liked to admit it, it took him three days to convince himself to exit his room and meet the others. So it was understandable that he had a hard time getting use to anything new. Like his current situation.

There was a person. Sitting on the counter. Logan blinked, and shuffled quietly, wondering if he should leave and wait for Patton to wake up. The man reminded Logan of Empero, when she had just woken up after staying on guard for nearly half the night, sitting cross-legged on the bench, leaning over a cup of steaming coffee that he was cradling in his hands. His eyes were half-lidded, boring holes into the cupboard from under his purple tinted hair that covered his eyes. He had eyeshadow under his eyes, skinny ripped jeans and a grey sleeve and black hoodie.

After a few nervous moments, the man noticed Logan standing awkwardly in the hallway door, wrinkled up his nose, and hissed. Logan, in reflex, growled back making the man's eyes widened slightly, and dipped his head. Logan became even more confused, for he wasn't sure if the man was human, if he was, what dipping the head may of ment in human body language. He couldn't pick up on any werewolf scent, sadly, but he took the man's head dip as a sign of submission, and quickly stalked across the room to select his galaxy cup and began making coffee for himself.

Logan didn't speak, clicking buttons to make his coffee, and went over to the fridge to collect the milk and the toast, and then to the cupboard to collect a type of jam called crofters which Logan enjoyed quite a bit. He poured the milk into his coffee, and placed two pieces of toast in the toaster. He paused, and then turned to the new side still sitting on the counter. "You..... do you want some toast?" He asked softly, completely turning around. The male narrowed his eyes, taking a long sip from his coffee and then fiddled with his sleeves.

"Yes.. please." he said, equally as quiet. Logan softly smiled. He was just nervous, like Logan was when he first met the others. Logan was determined to make this side feel welcomed, and not have to take time to realise by himself it was safe, like Logan had to. He turned back to the toaster, and once the toast popped, he collected it taking it and some butter and jam, over to the other side with a small smile. He placed it next to him. "There you go. Did you just manifester? Also I should warn that there are two more sides, and both of them are quite loud."

"N-no... I'm from somewhere else... and thanks, good to know." the side gave Logan a small smile back, carefully taking the plate. "Well I'm logan. Do you have a name or something I could call you by?" the man paused, swallowing and staring at the toast. "Anxiety." he said in a bare whisper. "Very well Anxiety." Logan said, turning back to work on his own food, before pausing. "Um, do you mind... if i join you?" Logan asked.

"Y-yer! Sure, h-here let me." Anxiety shuffled around, scooting over and giving Logan some room. Logan smiled, hopping up onto the bench. The two ate in peaceful silence, the only noises in the kitchen were the soft tapping of Anxiety's fingers, clinking of cups being placed down and crunching of the toast. It was nice, calming, and Logan thought he wouldn't mind this change. Both Logan and Anxiety could hear Patton running down the stairs, and Anxiety quickly excused himself, and vanished. Logan's eyes slightly widened, but he couldn't question it, given the side was no longer there.

Anxiety's existence was, well... interesting. The anxious trait was a little all over the show, switching from shy and nervous, softly mumbling questions and answers, to cocky and snarky, capable of bruising roman's ego six times over. He seemed to tolerate Patton, because well, who couldn't? He was nice to everyone. Anxiety slowly appeared in the mornings as well, randomly, not that logan minded. He never stuck around long enough to be caught by Roman and Patton, and since Logan was the only one awake at the hour, he assumed that Anxiety had grown to like him.

Which was... nice, he guessed. The two would trade questions and ideas, theories and knowledge, and occasionally, Logan would bring a book and read it to the darkly dressed side. Eventually, anxiety started to open up about their own likes, and started to strike different conversations than Logan always starting the conversations and asking questions or bringing up topics. Anxiety seemed to always be very interested in things like 'SCP's' or 'cryptids' which then logan spend the rest of the day researching about because, 1) if they were real, Logan was very concerned, and 2) and there is nO WAY THAT AN ORANGE BLOB IS CAPABLE OF HUMAN THOUGHT. (That's SCP- 999 for you Logan-)

Quick visit to google moved they were both very, very fictional, thank Artemis.

Once virgil even brought something of his own to logan. "It's.... a tiny laptop?" Quizzed logan, blinking down at the small rectangular object in Anxiety's hands. "Pfft- no. It's a phone, you dork. I thought logic knew everything?" Logan went red in embarrassment.

"Falsehood. I don't know everything, even as Logic. Our.... past lives affect our knowledge, thoughts and beliefs." Logan hesitated for a second before bringing up the term 'past lives' for apparently he wasn't the only one with a rough past. Virgil tensed, before forcing himself to relax, patting his spot next to him. Logan hopped up with the plate of toast placing it in between them. "So.. it's called a phone? What does it do?" Logan asked quietly.

"It's like a laptop i guess. You kinda do whatever you want with it, you could get games, it lets you communicate from long distances, a lot of stuff." Anxiety said, semi leaning back. Logan made a small noise of approval. "It's kind of, not kinda. And interesting. And what does this have to do with books?" Logan asked, tilting his head. Anxiety rolled his eyes at the correction, but smirked, holding up the phone. "I have something called a audio book. It's where someone records them reading a book out loud and you can listen to it." Logan visibly perked at that.

"Really? That's... quite impressive." he stared intensely down at the phone. Anxiety scoffed. "Whatever ya say teach. Do you remember when I told you about nightvale?" he said, beginning to nervously fiddle with his sleeves, a sign Logan picked as him being unsure. "You not ya, and yes i do recall that. It sounds.... Quite peculiar." Logan hummed, remember that morning ended up being a debate about the purposes of a dog park that no one was allowed in.

"Well..." Anxiety said in an even quieter voice. "It's a podcast... and i was wondering if you would like to listen to it with me. I'll start from the beginning if you want! And it's okay if you don't want to. I just thought it would be nice, since you're always bringing something, and I didn't want to only take and not give something back-'' Anxiety began to rant, and Logan softly chuckled. "Anxiety." Logan said, snapping the others attention from their rant. "I would love to." Logan continued, allowing a small smile.

Anxiety blinked, once, twice, and then began fumbling furiously with a bunch of cables. "Right! Right, right, right..." He softly cursed under his breath as he found his cables in a knot, but Logan waited patiently, picking up one of the pieces of toast and taking a bite out of it. Once Anxiety undid the knot, he passed a single bud to logan, and stuffed the other in his ear. "Put this in your ear. It makes it so only we can hear the audio book and no one else." Virgil explained, giving logan a slight weak smile. Logan returned a reassuring smile, taking the bud and carefully placing it in his ear- thankfully, human ears appeared whenever he hid his wolf ears.

He tried to ignore the warnings flashing in the back of his head, saying that humans are dangerous, and readjusted the bud so it sat comfortably. Virgil fiddled with his phone, clicking on the smooth black screen. The next thing Logan knew someone was talking, crisp and clear in his ear, followed by weird nice non-talking noises. Logan flinched, shocked and confused and Anxiety softly chuckled. "Easy there, it's okay. This is the podcast." He hummed along with the odd melody.

"What's that noise?" Logan asked, straining his ears to listen carefully. "Behind the voice? It's not talking... what is it?" Anxiety blinked, trying to figure out what Logan was talking about. "Do you mean... music?" "Music?" Logan echoed, testing the word out. "Yer, it's the thing in the background, it sounds like.." Anxiety paused, and then hummed a couple of the notes. Logan stared curiously, humming a couple of his own notes. "Yes, that." Logan clarified. "That's music. People write a lot of music in my past life, called songs. You can get songs like this, where there are no lyrics- lyrics are words that people put in the songs, or with lyrics. If you want, i could put on a couple songs after this." Anxiety offered.

Logan hummed and nodded, focusing on the voice that had started talking. After a few minutes, Logan wrinkled his nose, turning to look at a grinning Anxiety. "The glow cloud?" he questioned, raising an eyebrow. "All hail the glow cloud!" Chirped Anxiety, giggling and grinning. "You do realise that a glowing cloud that rains dead animals is ridiculous and illogical, right?" Logan asked, taking another bite of his toast. Anxiety rolled his eyes and snorted, smirking. "Well i find it ridiculous and illogical that you didn't know what a phone or music was." "Touche." hummed logan, closing one eye and then froze when something warm pushed against his back.

He turned his head a bit only to find Anxiety was leaning against Logan's back, eyes closed with a small content smile as we listened to the pod cast. Logan inhaled and softly smiled, leaning back as well, taking in the warmth from the other, treasuring this moment that was sickly alike back when he was with his pack. But in the presence of Anxiety, Logan couldn't find the ability to be sad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next

#patton sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #werewolves #BPBW #Part 3 #Analogical #Logan angst #sander sides #werewolf! Logan

[softderekhale]

from the archives: snippets of a sterek pacrim au

hey y’all! i definitely haven’t been super active on this blog or tumblr at all lately, for a lot of reasons but mainly just... life. doesn’t that suck sometimes? but i really, truly hope everyone is doing well and you + your loved ones are staying safe. (long reflection + tumblr fic after the cut, lol)

i’ve been in kind of a funk with writing since the last time i “had” to do it, which was 12 days/sterek secret santa like, 6 months ago. it’s frustrating to me that i went from writing my longest fic ever exactly 2 years ago to having almost zero output now, but i’m trying not to be too hard on myself and i know writing is a really fickle pastime. anyway, this is a really long leadup, but i decided to just release some stuff i wrote into the wild. it’s either here or my google drive, so i might as well see if anyone wants to read it! 

pacific rim is undoubtedly one of my favorite movies of all time (it was only bumped down by into the spider-verse, but they’re almost tied ;D). it came out right after my sterek obsession began, and i always imagined writing a sterek au based around derek and stiles being drift compatible. that whole concept has always been so lovely to me and fits in nicely with some of my favorite soulmate-y tropes. this idea always felt too ambitious, though, and i didn’t write a single word of it until i rewatched the movie in november/december 2019. i wrote the following stuff in an extremely giddy haze over the next few weeks. i’m not good about pushing myself to write, so i never added any more, but i still really like what i had/have! i hope maybe someday i’ll feel the urge to come back to it. but anyway, here’s my completely self-indulgent homage to one of my favorite movies and one of my favorite fandoms. in my au chronology for this, following the events of the first movie, global governments and the ppdc decided to deploy jaegers for continued deep sea exploration to further benefit scientific discovery and avoid wasting such expensive tech/training. this lead to a lot of corporate interference re: treasure hunting, etc. (national treasure, but make it underwater). oh, and werewolves exist (because wouldn’t they make great jaeger pilots?!). also, A SECOND PACIFIC RIM MOVIE WAS NEVER EVER MADE. THE END. laura and derek were copilots before a kaiju-fighting incident forced them into early retirement. laura is still alive, though! (because it’s me.)

***

“Mayday! Mayday! LOCCENT, do you copy? This is Luna Geminae paging for backup. LOCCENT! Danny, we can’t hold them much longer…”

Laura’s growl of frustration rang in Derek’s ear as he strained against the beast.

“Keep holding it, Derek. You can do this. I know you can. They’re so close, Derek, they’ve gotta be. Just a few more—”

Derek never knew how Laura intended to finish that sentence. All he would ever remember was the scream that tore out of her throat. Later, he would describe it as the first time he ever understood the meaning of “bloodcurdling.”

“Laura!” Derek gritted his teeth as pain roared down his left arm, causing his vision to blur and spark white around the edges.

“My arm, Jesus, my fucking… They got my arm, Derek—” 

As water poured into the cabin above and around him, the last thing he remembered hearing was Laura’s anguished howl. Then the sky became fire, and everything went dark.

***

The day of the accident convinced Derek that his world would never stop burning.

For months after, when he lay staring at the ceiling until the early hours of the morning, the staticky shapes his eyes created to fill the darkness always melted and formed a wall of flames no matter how many times he scrunched his eyes shut and buried his face in his pillow. The noises, too — the ambient whoosh of the Dome’s ventilation system and the soft heart-like thud of the power grid soon coalesced into a unified, rhythmic chant that sounded more and more like Laura’s scream the longer Derek listened: Derek! Help!

In the days and weeks following their accident, Derek had tried every trick he could think of to reassure his subconscious that Laura was alive and safe, and would remain so even after she left his line of sight. For almost a week after she was released from the medical bay, he slept in the spare bunk above her. As reticent as he normally was to invade Laura’s privacy any more than he had to, experiencing her near-loss allowed panic and instinct to envelop Derek’s frayed nerves. He never fully explained it to Laura, but he didn’t have to — she never questioned his presence, nor did she point out that Derek always waited to fall asleep until he was certain she had already drifted off. 

Eventually, though, Derek realized the routine was leaving them both sleep-deprived and irritable. He resolved to move back to his own quarters, not wanting to smother Laura with his relentless, anxious presence. But he knew she still sensed his distress — every evening at 2300 hours, like clockwork, she knocked on his door to tell him goodnight and gently pressed her right palm against her brother’s neck before waving and returning to her own room. It was a routine they continued even now, half a decade beyond the fight that had left their Jaeger decimated. 

They had made progress, which Laura was always quick to remind her younger brother. Nothing could have prepared him for the aftermath of the accident, though, and the dark places where Derek’s mind would drift when there was no one around to distract him. Alone with his thoughts, no reassurance was strong enough to quiet Derek’s memories.

He shifted again in bed, his half-awake mind scrambling to remember the breathing exercises Deaton had taught him over the years.

Inhale through your nose. One. Two. Three. Hold. Exhale through your mouth. One. Two. Three—

Derek!

Start again. Inhale through your nose. One. Two. Three. Hold. Exhale through your mouth. Slower this time.

Good. Again.

***

This comes way after the scene above lol sorry

“Right hemisphere locked. Left hemisphere locked. Vitals are steady. Initiating neural handshake.”

Danny’s voice echoed through Derek’s head as he let his eyes flutter shut and tipped his head back. He’d been anxious about this moment for days now, but he would be lying if he said he wasn’t secretly a little — or a lot — excited, too. Drifting was a heady, emotional experience, and if he and Stiles were truly compatible, Derek might finally get to settle the unease he had felt since his connection with Laura was severed.

“Alright,” Danny said. “You should be feeling it in three… two… one.”

Derek’s eyes flew open, but his gaze defocused as he felt his center of gravity list forward before returning.

As his sense of internal balance returned, the tingle of the neural link fizzed over his scalp. There it is. Slowly, then all at once, he felt the rush of Stiles’ mind meeting his own. Their emotions flowed over one another like water, memories flashing and sensations pulsing before slipping away into their shared flow of awareness. Derek had trained himself long ago to let himself float until the waters steadied, and he could feel Stiles, ever perceptive, do the same.

“Neural handshake established and holding at 100 percent.”

Without having to think twice about the gesture, Derek felt his knuckles meet his palm as he dipped into a customary bow. As he and Stiles led Luna in her first exploratory steps, Derek felt the weight of any lingering fears melt away.

With Laura, Derek had always felt like they were extensions of one another, movements and decisions cascading seamlessly from a fully unified thought process. Drifting with Stiles, though, felt unlike anything Derek had ever experienced. They were two sides of the same coin — each aggressive and reserved in equal, opposite measure. If Derek and Laura were reading from the same script, he and Stiles were finishing each others’ sentences as they improvised the same scene. 

When they first met, Derek had found Stiles anything but graceful — but now, as they nearly seemed to glide across the ocean floor, he felt foolish for not realizing the instinctive adjustments and calculations stiles was constantly making based on his surroundings. As they steered Luna across the testing ground, Derek felt his temples begin to thrum with an energy he hadn’t felt in years. Best of all, he knew Stiles felt it too — he could literally trace the path of his elation as it wrapped around Derek’s senses and amplified his own excitement.

“How are you doing?” Derek shouted across the rig. It wasn’t a question he needed to ask verbally, but he chose to anyway, knowing it would help ground them both in the present moment and prevent any stray thought spirals from taking over their link.

“So good, dude. This is — this is unreal,” Stiles replied, slicing through the air with his left arm to test the angle of the jaeger’s knuckle daggers.

Derek smiled. “Not exactly like the simulators, huh?”

“Nothing like the simulators, man. Holy shit.”

As they continued to acclimate to the drift, Derek took Stiles through a few more of Luna’s signature maneuvers. Stiles’ extensive research showed, and combined with the knowledge he and Derek now shared, the moves seemed to come naturally.

“Do you want some music?” He and Laura always played music when training, but he didn’t want Stiles to feel—

“That’s all I want right now, Derek.” Derek’s grin broadened as Stiles flicked through the controls hovering in front of him. A heavy bass line thrummed through the cabin, and Derek finally did what he never thought he would be able to again in his lifetime: he let his mind relax and free-fell into the drift.

***

Two hours after he and Stiles had eaten dinner and finally parted ways, Derek still couldn’t stop thinking about their drift.

That wasn’t unusual, all things considered — emotional transfer was common, especially for werewolves and especially during the first few drifts with a new partner.

Every time Derek thought about his connection with Stiles, though, and the experience of their emotions weaving together, his mind kept snagging in one place. It was a place that had struck Derek even during the high of the neural handshake, not because it felt odd or foreign, but because it felt hauntingly familiar — but looked ugly and sinister looming over someone else. 

It was anguish. It was a grief that had been doused in shame and set alight. It was a feeling of loss and self-loathing that made Derek feel like he was suffocating. It was exactly the way Derek had felt every day for years after the fire, and again after the accident. 

He had tried to explain it to Laura as dispassionately as possible all the times she chided him for blaming himself or expressing guilt over what happened to their family, but he never knew how to describe it until he experienced it through Stiles’ memories. It was sore, like a bruised rib, a persistent ache that radiated out from the point of impact and lingered at the edge of his consciousness. Distractions might be able to push away some of the pain, but as long as he kept breathing, it would always be there.

Derek hadn’t seen exactly where Stiles’ pain radiated from, but it seemed to shroud the memories of his mother especially strongly. Stiles told him she had been sick, though — why would he feel guilty about her death?

He sat up, his leg bouncing as he fidgeted absently with a hangnail. Since deciphering what that unexpected shared emotion reminded him of, Derek couldn’t stop thinking about it. This, he knew, was normal too — without an outlet, emotional transfer tended to create a feedback loop as a co-pilot bounced back and forth between their own memories and their partner’s. 

Before he could talk himself out of it, Derek shot up and strode to the door. It was late, almost midnight, and the full body experience of drifting had left Derek racked with fatigue. But — he just wanted to talk to Stiles. To be near him, again, as if it were a substitute for the feeling of absolute synchronicity they had just shared. It would only take a few minutes.

He was so distracted by his own jumbled thoughts that it took him a moment to register who stood just outside his door as he flung it open — it was Stiles, hand paused in mid-air.

“Stiles.” Very eloquent, Derek, he chided himself with an internal voice that sounded suspiciously like Laura.

“Oh— Well. Um. Hi.” Stiles gave a small wave before shoving his hand in his pocket. “Sorry, I didn’t realize you were about to—“

“I was about to find you.”

Stiles paused. “Really?”

Derek stepped back, nodding toward the doorway. “Really. Do you want to come in?”

As he and Stiles stood facing each other silently, Derek scrambled for exactly what he wanted to say. Everything was so effortless when they were in the drift. Why was it so hard to find the words now?

To his relief, Stiles was the one who broke the silence. “Sorry, I’m sure you’re tired… I’m just kind of keyed up, I guess, and I couldn’t—“ Stiles ducked his head down. “I don’t know. I thought it might help to see you.”

“Don’t apologize. You have good instincts,” Derek assured him. “And I— I wanted to see you too,” he added, feeling the tips of his ears heat. 

He could almost feel Stiles’ sigh of relief in his own chest. “Can I sit?”

“Of course.” Derek scooped a discarded pile of clothes off his bed and gingerly sat down after Stiles, mindful of the careful space between them. “Are you feeling okay?”

Stiles’ eyebrows jumped. “Yeah, I feel fine, I really do, but I just feel… jumpy, I guess. Which is normal for me, but I can tell this is different. I don’t know how I know, but…” he trailed off, gesturing abstractly in front of him.

Derek nodded. “I know what you mean. You can’t really prepare for the drift until you’ve done it,” he said, remembering how disjointed he felt after his first few test runs. “But it gets easier,” he added.

Stiles shook his head. “I’m not worried about it. I trust you.” His eyes shot up to meet Derek’s, as if challenging him to dispute the steady, honest heartbeat behind his words. 

Derek was surprised to feel something behind his eyes sting at the pronouncement. He looked away from Stiles’ scrutinizing gaze, but he felt the other man’s eyes continue to study him. “I’m glad. I— that means a lot to me.”

Stiles nodded, remaining thoughtfully silent. Derek sensed he wanted to ask something, but wasn’t ready to admit it on his own.

“Is there anything I can do?” Derek asked gently, eyes seeking Stiles’ again.

Stiles looked pointedly away and bit at his thumbnail. “Um. It sounds stupid now. But I read… I read that physical contact can help,” he mumbled, so quickly Derek might not have caught it without his magnified hearing.

He realized Stiles’ admission may have felt embarrassing for a human, but for Derek, it was almost a relief. He reached forward slowly and cupped his hand over Stiles’ shoulder with a light squeeze. 

“It’s not stupid. You felt how intense the drift is. When you separate from a complete mental overlap, it can be disorienting. And you know how tactile wolves are — that makes it even harder for us, so you’re probably getting some of this from my own emotional bleed.” He didn’t miss the way Stiles melted into his touch, his whole body swaying into their point of contact.

Stiles nodded. “Yeah. That makes sense. Thanks,” his gaze flicked up to meet Derek’s.

“Do you—“ Derek didn’t really know how to ask for more contact. It came so naturally with other werewolves, so he’d never really had to think about it before. “I don’t want to touch you in a way you’re not comfortable with. But if you want to lay down, or you want me to lay down or…” He took a sharp, steadying breath. “I’m trying to say that I understand, and I think it will make us both feel better, and I’m fine with whatever level of contact you’re okay with.”

Stiles laughed, a bright and unexpected break in the tension. “Jesus. Listen to us. I feel ridiculous, but— Thank you. You’re very considerate.” He paused, expression drawing almost imperceptibly tighter. “I want that too, though. I want you to feel comfortable. If you’re not, if there’s anything I do— I promise I’ll ask, first, and if you can tell me, I want you to.” 

Derek felt a lump rise in his throat. Stiles’ words were sincere, but carefully chosen. He wasn’t sure how much of his own memories Stiles had observed, but it seemed to have been enough to understand that physical touch had once been a powerful weapon wielded against him.

“Thank you,” he answered quietly, before gently tugging at Stiles’ arm. “Here, lay down.”

The bed was barely wide enough for both of them to lay side by side, but it was just enough space for both men to settle on their backs with their elbows carefully layered between them. Derek hesitated for a moment before angling his head against Stiles’ neck. “Is this okay?”

Stiles hummed in agreement, the back of his hand flitting against Derek’s so softly he almost thought he imagined it. “This is perfect.” He inhaled deeply through his nose and tilted his head closer to Derek’s. They lay silently for a handful of minutes, and the rhythmic in-out of Stiles’ breathing nearly lulled Derek to sleep.

Suddenly, Derek felt Stiles still. “Why were you about to come look for me?”

Derek huffed. “I wanted to see you.”

“What, you had to check in on the rookie who can’t handle a drift?” Stiles’ tone was light, devoid of any real offense, and he jostled his shoulder gently against Derek’s.

“You did great. If anything, I— I hadn’t done it in so long, and Laura was my only co-pilot before you.” Derek frowned, remembering the heavy emotions of Stiles’ that had ensnared him earlier. He didn’t want to overwhelm Stiles, but he also wanted him to know that he both empathized with and thought highly of him. 

“I never thought I would get in a rig again,” Derek continued. “I don’t think I trusted myself enough. I carry… I carry a lot of guilt, Stiles. But when I thought about piloting with you, the guilt didn’t win. You’re the first person who’s been capable enough, smart enough, strong enough, that I didn’t have to worry.” 

Stiles didn’t respond at first, and a flash of panic seized Derek before he felt strong, warm fingers curl around his own.

“I won’t let you down,” Stiles said, his voice nearly a whisper and rough with emotion.

“I don’t think you could,” Derek whispered back, before he let his eyes slip shut and exhaustion overtake him.

***

When Derek awoke the next morning, he was startled — but it wasn’t in reaction to the way Stiles had draped himself over Derek in his sleep. Feeling Stiles’ arms around his waist felt oddly natural. The surprising part was how well he had slept — it was the first night of uninterrupted slumber he could remember having in months, if not longer.

***

yeah so... that’s all for now! if you read this, thanks and i hope you’re doing well!!! ❤️ 

#sterek #sterek fic #sterek pacific rim au #pacific rim au #my fic #tumblr fic

[ylvisforalltid]

My recap/review of På Holmen - Episode 4

Revenge of the Sidekick. Calle is the last one to steer the show and take command of his fellow mates. I invite everyone to discuss the fourth episode with me, either here, or on facebook in Ylvis- a group.

Here’s my chronological recap/review of the fourth episode of ‘Ylvis På Holmen med Calle og Magnus’

Episode 4

I have to apologize to all Calle fans beforehand. I might have been a bit biased from the start since I never really could warm up to Calle’s humour and turns out I still don’t really get it. I tried my best to approach his show with an open mind, even more so since Magnus proved me wrong with his show, but I fear this recap might be a bit judgemental.

- Calle playing an instrument is an unexpected but good start

- ‘music related show’ doesn’t sound bad at all considering how music heavy Stories from Norway is and how good Ylvis are with music related stuff in general

- „let’s make a summer show, they said. It’ll be fun, they said. Let’s shoot it in late fall. Let’s wear the warmest and cosiest sweaters we have. Why not add a thick scarf.“ The dichotomy of all this is a joke already

- Calle randomly grabbing a microphone and starting to sing? Is this Calle’s minutt 2.0?

- was this an impro song challenge? Is it a known song? It looked like they checked cue cards. But Vegard’s short refusal was fun to watch

- Second instrument for Calle. He is really trying to showcase himself most in this, isn’t he. What started fun, is kinda irritating to me at this point already

- I am glad the other guys seem to enjoy it very much though, that is nice to watch.

- Bård saying out loud that Calle’s task was a shitty task to give, is so on brand for him. Tv? Audience? Doesn’t matter. If he disagrees he’ll say it.

- 5 minutes in and Calle get’s backlash from his own friends. Already very dividing episode, apparently not only for me as a viewer but also Bård as a ‚contestant‘

- Greven av grønt slowly turns into my favourite reoccuring segment

- I begrudgingly admit that the brothers’ glee over each other’s pain is very entertaining

- the fact that Bård and Vegard are often seen most laughing at stuff Calle does, isn’t always understandable for me but it’s joyful to watch since I don’t think a lot makes them laugh like that

- was Magnus choice a trick question? Is that Kålrot in that bowl but Kålrabi was the right answer? Was this a challenge like when you have to say the colour something is written in but not the colour that the letters say? I am confused. I can’t decide if Magnus was just a sore loser or if they made it extra difficult for him by switching answer and displayed item. And no, it’s not the same fo me.

- even after getting the punishment he still insists on it being the same. I know someone who probably did a google research after this, trying to prove his point. I feel a bit bad for him since it really looks like a trap he ran into.

- Calle having to laugh when he gets the cue cards for the characters is sweet. Even with a short written introduction the others can already make him laugh/smile.

- Vegard’s story mostly works with a dialect and his setup; the pun (if I understood it right) not too much. I would say that Vegard is an overthinking comedian, whereas Bård seems to be more on-the-spot. That’s why I think they complement each other so perfectly.

- Vegard still continuing in character steals some fire from Magnus even before he sat down. A bit unfortunate for the focus of the segment.

- Chicago announcing that he is easy to fool is something the audience should rather experience through his story. The fact that he mentions it twice before even starting the story is a bit too self-aware for someone who claims to be easily fooled.

- Magnus story could have been better if better told. Like I said, too much self-awareness

- Bård crashing the scene. What’s new. He uses the element of surprise for his entry

- Vegard did it again. His antics overshadowing Bård’s PMS,SMS joke. It begins to be annoying. Using blindness as the ongoing joke wasn’t that funny. Especially when it meant that it disrupts the other people’s performances.

- self-drawn TV Norge patch is a nice touch.

- Bård’s jokes before he even begins his story are already more fun for me than the other one’s stories.

- Bård’s actual story…… how did he pass the psychopath test?!  Good thing he has golf as an outlet. Yes, I know he made up a character but his story sounds like he was exposed to too much self-insert fanfiction.

- Interrupting them singing with a commercial break: just rude.

- introducing someone with the help of his shoe? Which is unrelated to why the guest is there? Misleading and irritating but that’s probably also the fun of it.

- Was Calle’s Streken imitation good? Yes. (Although it also reminded me a bit of the Pingu Sketch from Ylvis III.) 

- but within less than 23 minutes of the show Calle made it several times about himself and not so much about challenging the others. I didn’t see that as much when the others where hosting and I personally prefer the previous hosts for that.

- maybe it’s the sidekick revenge

- Vegard not managing one simple word when starting his imitation and sounding like a stereotype caveman. At least he can laugh about his own failure

- every task Calle calls them in the same order: Vegard, Magnus, Bård. A bit repetitive. Switching it up would’ve done the episode some good

- the painting: Picasso meets Aladdin’s (very tired) Genie?

- I think we all know Vegard can do better than that, but a fair attempt

- Kudos to Magnus. Competing against Ylvis in a musical contest. And he did good.

- Thank you camera man for the close-up of Bård’s hand

- Sooo, half of the episode is dedicated to the three not being so good at imitations and then Bård’s performance is a revival of his Sondre imitation sketch just with another artist but similar antics?

- Sorry, Bård, you’re still my favourite but to me the winner of this competition was Magnus. In comparison to the others he delivered a fair imitation. Bård bent the rules and was then rewarded for it. If the challenge would’ve asked for another setup, I might have granted him the win but not this way.

- Slapstick Calle putting his performance first again with the thinking staredown. It went for too long.

- Garden commentary already starting wild with mentioning Aleksander and Bård had sex

- so many brilliant things to unravel

- Bård wanting to switch Vegard for Aleksander as a brother because he is less mansplaining nerdy

- Aleksander saying Bård is smarter than he thought, Bård embracing Aleksander’s lack of knowledge as a positive thing, the complimenting battle between those two was a highlight of this episode

- Vegard thinking about if he ever made a bird brothel before...this man is a delight. That he took a moment to question if he did before is testament to the fact how many weird things the brothers have already done in their life

- Bård’s right. Aleksander is excellent at cheering his teammates on

- No comment from me on Linda giving the bucket to Siri...but I am looking forward to one of the guys being in charge. So far I don’t see the point in those specially appointed people since they don’t seem to have any input or main role for the tasks. I see it only as a thing that exists to stir up drama.

- having tried to shoot with bow and arrow before, I can say that it was harder for me than it looks and I was impressed how good most of them were

- but either Magnus didn’t see Kongen Befaler or he ignored the tears task from that show because he should have known then that Siri will probably react much worse to it then Bård.

- this is the second time where Bård knowingly could’ve had an advantage; first at golf, and second because of not being affected by onions

- Mansplaining Vegard is at it again

- I loved the end joke with Bård but in a way they had both the right and wrong person for this. Right because he, most likely, is the last to stress about when it’s his turn. Wrong because he is probably too relaxed to care about how long it takes. My guess is that he might have fallen asleep before he even got suspicious. 

#På Holmen recap #Ylvis #Ylvis på holmen med Calle og Magnus

[sanderssides-springfling]

This will be a very long post, so I will be putting the summaries and tags up top, then each work below. Without further ado, @august-memories​ I present you your gifts.

First is a Logince Fae AU featuring Fae!Roman and Human!Logan. It’s composed entirely of fluff, and has no warnings.

Second is a Logince Mermaid AU featuring Mermaid!Roman and Mermaid!Logan. Once again it is composed entirely of fluff and has no warnings.

Third is a LAMP Fantasy AU featuring Werewolf!Patton, Vampire!Virgil, Shapeshifter!Roman, and Centaur!Logan. Following the trend of its predecessors it is composed entirely of fluff, although there’s a brief breakfast scene at the end(food).

Starting with the Logice Fae AU

Logan Sanders did not believe in the fae. There were dozens of stories and anecdotes, but those were easily brushed away as superstitious minds leaping to conclusions. He believed only what he could see and touch. You could do neither to the fae.

It was this belief that lead him to his current predicament. He had been hiking and a faery circle had presented itself on the trail. Naturally Logan stepped in to the circle. Unnaturally a person appeared before him, dressed as if he was attending a cosplay event as some character Logan was unfamiliar with. Logan stepped aside to exit the circle.

“How rude, traveller. Don’t you know how to greet a new friend?” the person asked.

“Pardon me, but I do not generally greet every person I pass on my walks,” Logan replied stiffly, turning to face the person. He tried to ignore the thin wings just visible beyond the person’s back.

“Am I just any old person?” the person asked, fluttering his eyelashes.

Logan paused.

“Anyhow, may I have your name?”

“No. I will leave now, good day,” Logan said and stepped beyond the rim of the circle. It was later than he would have thought, but he took a short cut and arrived at his home only 2 minutes late, which he easily compensated for.

After he finished his work, his fingers typed the word ‘fae’ in to the search bar. 

*****

Logan walked the same path the next day, and he stepped in to the same faery circle.

“The traveller returns, golden day!” the faery cheered, twirling in a circle and nearly whacking Logan with his wings.

“Will you give me your name?” the faery asked.

“Will you give me yours?” Logan replied.

“Clever traveller. You may call me Roman.”

“You may call me Logic.”

“Where did you become so smart, Logic?”

“In the case of this knowledge it was the simple act of a few Google searches.”

“Google? Is this a scrying glass?”

“No, would you like to see?” Logan said, pulling out his phone. Roman watched as Logan showed him the information there about faeries.

“I guess it’s somewhat like a scrying glass. Here, take a look.”

“Are you offering it to me?” Logan asked.

“What would you do if I said no?”

“I would leave.”

“No, I am not offering it.”

“Have a nice day,” Logan said, and he stepped out of the faery circle. He felt the eyes of Roman trained on his back the entire time.

*****

Logan kept going back. He wasn’t quite sure why. He went back to the circle every time he could, and Roman met him there every single time. 

Today they sat within the circle watching the clouds. It was raining, but there was a tiny pocket of sunshine in the circle.

“May I touch your wings?” Logan whispered. Roman looked over at him.

“If that is what you want, I offer you the opportunity.”

Logan gently ran a finger down the wing closest to him. It was so delicate. Tiny scales like flecks of gold were left on his fingers.

“Thank you. If a human were to take something from the faery realm in a bargain with the fae, what would happen?”

“The thing would belong to them forever, but no fae would allow that to happen.”

“May I take you as my lover?” Logan asked. His heart tried to leap out of his throat in the small silence.

“I will be your lover.”

“Take my name; it is Logan.”

That evening two men stepped out of the faery circle in to the rain. One of them had wings hidden beneath his top. The other had tiny scales like gold dust stuck to his fingers. They each belonged to each other for ever and beyond.

Now moving on to the Logince Mermaid AU

There are certain rules for being a mermay. The first one is the most obvious one to humans: don’t be seen by humans. There are a variety of ways to stay out of the eyes of the clumsy landwalkers. Logan, for instance, stayed at a depth where human tools weren’t common. This wasn’t very hard, seeing as he worked in the palace located in the Mariana Trench, and his room was one of the farthest from the opening. It would be incredibly difficult for the humans to find the palace, much less navigate all the halls specifically to Logan’s room and study. Roman took a slightly more dangerous approach. He had a tiny home in a coral reef and his bright colors fit in with the fish around him.

The second rule was a bit harder for humans to understand: always swim at eye-level. Humans are built mostly the same. Some proportions may be a bit different, but all the basic parts are still there, and there’s not much height difference, even between their young and their elders. They don’t have the experience of being a deep sea merman, like Logan, and emerging from the castle to speak to a costal merman, like Roman, and constantly hitting someone as they’re swimming because they can’t keep an eye on all 15 feet of their total body length and navigate and talk. They also don’t have any experience of being a costal merman, like Roman, and having to dodge around a behemoth of a tail that’s about as wide as your total length. 

The third rule is one that also exists in human cultures: treat all others equally. A human might be confused about how a deep sea merman, like Logan, and a costal merman, like Roman, could be in a relationship together. Humans have never seen a partner work to make a tiny card the size of his hand with dozens of intricate details for the other’s birthday. Humans have never seen a partner working for days to make a scarf that is as wide as they are tall and several times their body length so that the other can have something of them to have while they’re away at work. 

Humans have never been scooped up so gently by a giant hand when they fell asleep while working and held until the giant fell asleep, too. Humans have never woken up to tiny hands pulling on their fingers when they fall asleep at their desk.

Humans have never performed for a partner so giant the love, adoration, and emotions going through his face as a result of the performance are projected across the stage and fuel them on even harder. Humans have never laid completely on a giant chest and listened to the heartbeat and the rumble of a deep voice as their partner talks about the newest human attempts to understand the sea or the newest specimen he got to investigate.

Humans have never known the care in a pinky gently crooked around you back as you cry over something silly. Humans have never known the care in arms that don’t quite circle your wrist holding on nonetheless as you struggle to hold back tears over something close to your heart.

How difficult for humans to never get to be a costal mermay, like Roman, in a relationship with the love of their life, a deep sea mermay, like Logan. How difficult for humans to never get to be a deep sea mermay, like Logan, in a relationship with a costal mermay, like Roman, so passionate and vivacious their smile alone lights flurries in their heart.

And finally on to the LAMP Fantasy AU

Patton snuggled in to Virgil’s side, and the vampire gently ran a hand over his head. Patton sighed in contentment, prompting a tiny amused huff from Roman, who was currently stuck as a human and laying beside Patton on the floor, leaning up against the ‘couch’. The ‘couch’ of course, was their fourth boyfriend, who didn’t mind them using the horse half of his body as a couch on the full moon. The full moon had started its slow path through the sky, the last embers of dusk still staining the horizon. 

Logan flipped the last page in his book and set it down. He stretched out a hand to carefully grab the next book on the stack.

“Read to us?” Virgil asked, his double voice coming out like it did every month.

“Yeah! Read to us!” Roman cheered quietly, shifting to get a slightly better look at his boyfriend’s face. Even Patton perked his ears towards the only being in the room unaffected by the moon’s cycles.

“Only if you stop digging your elbow in to my withers.”

“Sorry,” Roman said, shifting again.

“It’s quite alright,” Logan replied and spread his stack of books out. He pulled out one of the shorter novels that he had read only once before.

“Alright, Chapter One. My name is India Opal Buloni, and last summer…” Logan’s voice calmly narrated the story. Roman’s snores started to punctuate the narration about halfway through the book, but both Patton and Virgil still looked up at him sleepily.

“…all started to sing a song. And I listened careful, so I could learn it right.” Logan finished reading. He looked over to his boyfriends. Each of them had fallen asleep somewhere along the way. He set the book down and looked over at the window. The moon hung outside, still in the beginning half of its trip. Logan carefully shifted in to a more comfortable sleeping position and let the sounds of his sleeping boyfriends carry him off to sleep.

*****

Logan awoke to a cold nose in his face. He opened his eyes to Patton looking at him intently, still a wolf. Logan squinted out the window where the first suggestions of dawn were beginning to appear. He carefully extracted himself from underneath Roman and Virgil and settled his glasses on to his face. 

“Good morning to you, too,” he whispered and walked towards the kitchen. Patton whined, looking down at Virgil and Roman.

“Let’s make food, then wake them up,” Logan said. Patton sniffed the air, then ran down ahead of Logan. Logan followed him and started grabbing the things he needed to make their usual full-moon breakfast. He handed Patton a chew bone, and he started playing and gnawing at it. 

The sun was properly up by the time Logan took the last piece off the stove. Patton was starting to look uncomfortable and try walking on his hind legs, so his transformation wasn’t far off.

“Come on, let’s go wake them up,” Logan said. Patton started back down the hallway, and Logan followed. Patton started nosing at Roman, and Logan gently shook Virgil’s shoulder. The two of them woke slowly and shuffled off for the kitchen. Patton spun in a circle and sniffed at where he had lain the night before.

“We’ll be in the kitchen when you’re ready, Patton,” Logan said, then followed the two half-awake beings out of the living room.

Logan started to put the plates on the table, and he had barely finished when Patton ran in to the room in his pjs.

“Good morning, Patton.”

“Mm, morning, good morning,” Patton replied. The table was quiet while they ate, and Patton, Roman, and Virgil came fully back to themselves. Roman finished first and summoned his usual glittering wings. Chatter quickly started up, as the sun rose.

#logince #lamp #fae!au #tw food #mermaid!au #spring fling 2020 #submission

[sanders-sides-rebloger]

Sleep and Stress

Part 1

TW: Slight angst, mentions of bullying, stress, overworking oneself

Word count: 2860

Summary: Thomas has a big project to finish over the weekend. He’s stressed about it and loses sleep over it, determined to finish it no matter what. Remy lectures him about the importance of self care sleeping properly. Except... Anxiety is taking the wheel this time.

A/N: Inspired by real events that happened to me! Yep, ya girl got stress ridden, once, over a hw assignment and now here is where it lead. Some sweet sweet content. I’d say it was worth it for the amount of time itd been my wips folder. The intro sucks but I promise it gets better

In this world people have always had their own personas with them. Specifically they are two beings from a persons mindset that can appear in the real world physically.

In these categories, Anxiety can be placed almost anywhere in the combinations. Depending on someone's personality, that anxious trait is usually paired with The Left Brain or the Right Brain, or in some cases, Morale and Logic.

Many historians and scientists theorize their origins in many ways. It was already proven they weren’t biologically transferred from parents. A famous article on google talked about how a married couple by the names of Martha and Alan who’ve had their own personas. As their child grew they didn’t show any signs of having aspects of their own, and they didn’t.

Below that were many links to interviews with famous political leaders, scientists, and more about the subject. It of course leads to the topic of religion, in some comments and topics that just became all controversial and too confusing.

“They always take the exact form of their host with a few minor differences.” One article said. ”They dress differently based on what they represent, though their voices are alike it can vary based on tone and attitude. It makes them appear to be slightly separate. And they can also talk to their host from inside their head, either it’s for reminders or a plain conversation.”

“The type of personas that rises from someone can vary. They always come in pairs. The most common ones are Anxiety, the Left and Right Brain, the Brain and Heart, Morale and Logic. There are other aspects outside of this spectrum such as Creativity that can form, but those are very rare and is more directed towards someone’s personality.”

“When a persona sinks down, they go into the ‘mindscape’ or an alternate plane of reality that exists inside of the hosts head.“

“Since they don’t appear and disappear out of thin air, they need a place to live in order to maintain their half human functions. That’s why they have rooms each of them go to for the host to enhance that part of themselves, including a space for that persona to reside in. It’s sort of like the mindscape is a living area in the conscious level of the mind, where memories and stored knowledge is retained.”

“It's like a Mind Palace.” Someone once said.

~~~

This leads us to Thomas Sanders, a senior in high school. He’s apart of that spectrum in which he too has personas of his own, Anxiety and Sleep.

For him, Anxiety appears when Thomas is going through something stressful. Often they talk together about certain situations that depend on the outcome, even if the reason is outright ridiculous. When it’s in public he usually summons him when he’s around a fair amount of people who also have their personas out with them, not wanting to look like the odd one out.

Sleep on the other hand..is an odd subject for him. When he grew up Sleep was the first to form during Thomas’ development and soon after, reveal himself. So he didn’t question him at first.

In middle school going into high school, students would make fun of him for being different. Thomas didn’t know what was different- he had personas just like everyone else so what made him so special? He was confused at first until he was able to see the bigger picture. He was one of the biggest targets the bullies chose as their prey and teased him over and over about it.

All because he had Sleep.

“What was Sleep? Why does it exist?” And so many other inappropriate comments. Thomas felt sick of it.

Of course when he told the staff about it, it shut them up for a while. His parents wanted to be more safe than sorry so he moved to a different school. Thomas agreed to himself that he would not show anyone publicly that he was different in any way, no matter how normal it may be for other students.

He met Joan and Talyn there. They never left him alone after quickly noticing how new he was with his closed off demeanor and shy attitude. They both really brought him out of his shell.

After becoming closer with the two he showed them eventually and he was pleasantly surprised by the result of their reactions as well. He still never really shows Sleep or Anxiety around in school to this day for fear of being seen as the odd one out, and he was content with that.

Now that Thomas has grown up a few years, he felt confident that he could be himself when he’s out in public. No one had ever seen a Sleep aspect before so he was bound to get a few questioning looks from people who walk past him. Maybe a few people from school would notice him outside, but he was beginning to accept that risk.

Besides, Joan and Talyn would make anyone regret whoever decides to talk behind Thomas’ back. They’d make them regret it.

Thomas was currently in his room, sitting in his desk. It’s Friday afternoon and he has two days left to finish this unholy project. Granted, being a senior in high school is great and all, however, Thomas would’ve gotten his history project done sooner if he was paying closer attention.

The problem was that Thomas messed up on the size of the project, subsequently making each square too big to fit on the entire front side on a sheet of paper. Immediately filled with regret, he began to erase the entire thing and start all over. Thomas had the chance to get a second one after school (just in case), but he’s terrified of confrontation.

Actually walk up to the teacher and talk to them? No thanks, he can do this on his own.

It sounds easy enough, but looking through his textbook, drawing the characters, and basically almost everything about it was difficult for him. The man had good talent in singing and is a darn great actor, but art was not his forte. He even had to color his poor excuse for an art project to get extra points. And as much as he did not want to do that, he was going to push himself today, he was gonna pass this class even if it killed him.

He checks the clock on his computer, 6:15pm. He just started about two hours ago nonstop and he got some stuff done, four squares were complete.

“If I’m being honest with you, it looks pretty good so far, but I bet you could do more if you worked a little longer.” Anxiety rises up beside Thomas, looking over his work. His voice was deeper than his host’s.

Anxiety wore a black hoodie, gray lines tracing all over it in a plaid pattern, a black t-shirt that read ‘Anxiety’ in bold letters to represent who he is, and wore dark black eyeshadow under his eyes.

The senior gets up and stretches his muscles in his arms and legs. Being glued to a chair for nearly two hours wasn’t the best idea, but he was gonna have to get used to it for a while.

“Today’s the day I’m really gonna pull myself through, Anxiety. No backing down this time!” Thomas says, his voice laced with determination.

While some students in Thomas’ class were fortunate enough to receive help from either friends or family, he was one of the unlucky souls in the group who he didn’t have much access to help. Both his parents were out on a business trip for the weekend, and Thomas has the house all to himself.

Joan and Talyn…? Well he didn’t want to bother them. Petty excuse, he knows, but what was he supposed to tell them if he asks for help? Even considering the fact they weren’t in the same class as him, they may just lecture him on getting enough sleep and he wasn’t in the mood for that.

Anxiety tucks his hands into the pockets of his dark hoodie and raises an eyebrow. Thomas was known to be a procrastinator at times which led to his grades dropping a few times in the past.

He was currently on his bed, scrolling through social media. He notices Anxiety’s suspicious gaze and looks beside him.

“What?” The senior asks in confusion, clearly not taking the hint.

“Let me just get to the point.” He pulls out Thomas’ wheeled chair and sits on it with the back side pressing against his chest. “You have a C- in the class, which is basically a failing grade, and you only have two days left until it’s due by Monday. It would be a shame if all that hard work went to waste.” He says in a taunting tone.

“What are you suggesting?” Thomas crosses his arms.

The darkly dressed boy drops his facade. “Basically the more you get done, the faster you’ll finish. And I really don’t need to be working overtime the sooner that due date approaches.” He groans, Anxiety droops his head slightly and massages his fingers through his scalp.

“I’ll just take a fifteen to twenty minute break in between each session. I have it all planned out.” Thomas waved his hand nonchalantly.

Anxiety looks towards Thomas, his expression falls.

“I’m being serious this time Thomas. You can’t let this one slip. If you don’t put all your effort on this project and you don’t get enough points, then something else in the way is just gonna bring you down. Maybe even worse than this one, and the cycle will just continue. Do you really want that?”

Thomas didn’t answer. Sure, he had the whole weekend. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t stay up late to finish if he wanted.

He glances at his project with a rush of determination flooding his system. It’s worth 150 points. He can do this, he just needed a little push.

Anxiety stands from the chair and leans against the wall nearby to allow room for Thomas to sit. The man stares down at his work with pure annoyance and desperation.

“God, I hate doing this.” He groans out and lays his head on the table.

The darker trait leans his head back against the wall, looking up blankly at the ceiling as if it had all the ceiling as if it had all the answers.

“Look, I’m not trying to be the bad guy here, but the faster you get this done the better it is for the both of us.”

“No, no. You’re right Anx.” He lifts his head back up. “I need to keep working… Plus I can’t even sleep anyway.” Thomas reaches for his phone and checks the time, seven-forty pm. He didn’t even realize how much time had passed. “Wherever he is.” He says with a sigh.

Thomas spent a good amount of time on his paper. He finished his tenth panel and is lightly underlining notes in his textbook to summarize for the next one. However the longer time went on, the more frequent the senior found himself massaging the aching tension from his neck and back more often.

He decided to call it quits for the night. He got ready and the second his lights went off Thomas flops to his bed immediately. Muffled yells, into his pillow, can be heard as Sleep rises up beside the bed.

Instead of his usual thick leather jacket, he wore a thin black cover up, pajama pants, his everyday white shirt that read ‘Sleep’ in bold letters with a bed and sleepy emoji. Adding to his style, and his trademark sunglasses were resting on top of his head.

“It’s about time you show up.” Remy says in his usual sassy tone.

“You can’t blame me for having a lot on my mind right now.” He groans, laying on his back.

“Jeez, how long did that guy keep you up for?” Remy slips himself underneath the covers with Thomas, taking off his sunglasses and setting them on the dresser.

“You mean Anxiety?”

“Yeah, him, whatever.”

“If you must know, I spent about another few hours trying to finish this project while your sorry butt was out partying at that concert.” He crosses his arms under his neck, staring up at the ceiling with a mocking tone.

Seeing personas going out and about on the streets is pretty normal. It wasn’t uncommon to see some of them roaming the streets on their own with or without their hosts.

Though as Thomas grew up, he saw a few of his classmates, who had some reveal themselves in the real world, would get bullied at schools because of how different they are. People made awful rumors how they would take over the world one day, call them names like ‘clones,’ and how they think they’re better than everyone else.

It made him sick to his stomach, it got so bad to the point there used to be places specifically like schools or restaurants that would ban people, with aspects from those places. It was horrible and a thing from the past.

Going off topic, some even befriend one another and go out just like what normal people do. It’s usually not for long, since people would need them back at some point.

It also takes the phrase ‘having some time for yourself’ to a whole new level in Thomas’ case. There have been so many movies nights that turned into popcorn throwing fights he’s had to break up between Remy and Anxiety.

“It was a My Chemical Romance concert!” Remy exclaims, dramatically putting a hand over his chest before he shifted, making himself more comfortable under the covers. “Girl, you know I couldn’t resist.”

Remy though, is a whole different story. He can be a pain at times, staying out for ungodly hours of the night. He can be unpredictable. Though he wouldn’t overdo it, unlike the incident they had a few years ago. Being the embodiment of Thomas’ nightly routine of proper rest, he physically can't sleep without Remy.

So when he’s out, sipping tea with his friends, Thomas can’t summon him like he usually can. Well, he can but its like a phone call. You can hear it but it’s your choice whether you want to answer it or not. Remy chooses to deliberately go out on his own, so he will have to just wait until he comes back.

Anxiety would go out too if he wanted, but he chooses to mostly stay in his room. Only coming out when Thomas needs him and such, to which Remy replies with as, ‘boring’ or ‘being a party pooper’.

He doesn’t mean to deny Remy’s invites as being rude, but the places he goes sometimes are...questionable in Anxiety’s point of view. Not bad, just odd. He’s way too outgoing for the dark traits style and just hates the crowds overall. It’s not for him.

He stuck with Remy like a leech after ten seconds with the overly boisterous crowd. He didn’t try to talk to anyone and was pretty much third wheeling. He did eventually find a decent hiding spot to hide away and blend in a bit. Although, Anxiety wanted to leave so badly but didn’t for the sake of not looking rude.

After a few tries of Remy trying to get him to go out again, he stopped eventually and never asked again. It faulted their friendship a bit with the mix of arguing over what’s best for Thomas.

Moving on, Remy has to either sleep in his room in the mindscape or in bed with Thomas himself. That way, theyThey would be connected, that way, so for the man couldto actually rest. It wouldn’t make much of a difference if Remy wasn’t sleeping next to Thomas but he chooses to do so anyway. Maybe it’s about proper communication in the morning. Remy does lecture Thomas at times when he forces himself to stay awake, he doesn’t know.

Plus it’s kinda nice to have someone to wake up to in the morning. Self love and all that.

“Thanks for making me stay up late again.” Thomas says in a low tired voice. He rolls over to the side, facing away from Remy. A smirk soon forms on his face from a familiar memory, unable to resist. “Unlike last time, where I was up until two pm.”

Remy huffs out a sigh. “That was one time, alright? Anxiety practically ingrained that lecture into my head. Plus, at least you finished something amiright?”

“I mean, I guess-“ He starts off.

“Also, you were able to finish your work and I was able to get something checked off my bucket list. Staying up a little late, if you need to, isn’t that bad ya know.”

“Ok, yeah, I see what you mean. Now let me sleep. I’ll need it for tomorrow, G’night Rem.”

“Night Thomas.”

Thomas shifted to a more comfortable position and closed his eyes. Allowing the darkness of his room to consume him.

#remy sanders #sleep sanders #ts shorts #sanders shorts #thomas sanders #virgil sanders #anxiety sanders #my writings #reblogger posts #sanders sides

[tysonrunningfox]

Ripped: Epilogue

Last year, the day after Thanksgiving on vacation in London, I went on a Jack the Ripper tour, thinking it would be a fun, goofy adventure, but instead it planted the seeds for the first time I ever made plot work on purpose.  This has been so much fun and I’m so grateful for how involved so many of you lovely people has been, it has made something that I took on with a lot of personal rigor doable.  

Ao3

“You were short on rent.  Again,” Snotlout leans against the doorframe of Hiccup and Astrid’s shared bedroom, arms crossed, and Astrid rolls her eyes, pausing halfway through trying to tie Hiccup’s tie to answer him. 

“No, I’m not, I told you I’m not paying for half of your NFL package.” 

“You watch it too!”  He insists and she pats Hiccup on the chest, wordlessly assuring him that she’ll be back focused on his nervous expression soon. 

“That’s because you sit on the remote,” she reminds him, “I’m not paying for it.”

“You look like an adult,” Snotlout changes the subject, gesturing to Hiccup’s new khakis and dress shirt under a borrowed blazer.  The tie is proving more difficult, but she’ll figure it out.  “Where’d you get the jacket?” 

“Astrid,” he says, voice pinched as he adjusts the sleeves, looking over her shoulder into the mirror she’d salvaged from her apartment that’s still propped against her bookcase, which is stocked with the overflow that wouldn’t fit in the office when they combined libraries.  He touches his hair and a piece at the back pops straight out. 

“Why did Astrid have a men’s blazer?”  Snotlout laughs, “unless it’s a woman’s—”

“Tuff and I are the same size, ok?”  She glares at him, “shut the door on your way out.  Please.”  She adds the last word to make it happen faster, even if her voice isn’t polite enough to let it carry any weight. 

“Quickie before the interview—”

“Shut the door.”  She smiles, patronizing and not letting it reach her eyes, “or you’ll see something you don’t want to see.” 

“Guess it’s my last chance to say good luck,” Snotlout directs that at Hiccup, “you’re going to kill it—”

“Snotlout!”  Astrid takes a pillow off of the bed and throws it at him, hitting him squarely in the face, “shut the damn door!” 

“I’m keeping the pillow until I get the twenty bucks,” Snotlout waves the pillow that he barely caught in the air before shutting the door, mouthing ‘good luck’ at Hiccup through the gap. 

“Then I’ll buy a new pillow,” Astrid doesn’t care if he heard her last dig and she refocuses on Hiccup, adjusting the untied tie under his collar, “he’s right, you’re going to do great.” 

He smiles, cheeks tight under the beard that’s thankfully finally filling out, especially since he decided he’s determined to keep it during his job search.  She gets his motive and is frankly a little jealous that he can stop shaving and suddenly he won’t look like the suspect whose picture spent weeks all over the news while she’s stuck with a baseball cap and a glare to not look like the student temporarily presumed missing in association with the same case.  He’s lucky that it’s starting to look good, official, aging him a few years in a way that makes his green eyes more vulnerable as he catches her hands, tugging them away from the tie she’s been tangling more than knotting. 

“I look like I’m wearing a costume,” he gestures at himself and she tilts his chin down to force eye contact. 

“Aren’t you?”  She points at the top hat hanging on the side post of the headboard with her chin, “you aren’t exactly in your natural state.” 

“I knew I should have rented a tux,” he jokes, voice shaky along its edges, almost fluttering, “gone full white tie with the hat and a monocle.” 

“Maybe I’d have better luck tying a white tie.” 

“It’s fine,” he pulls the tie off entirely, throwing it on the bed and running a frustrated hand through the hair they just got done trying to comb.  He instantly looks more like himself and she sighs, unbuttoning the top button of his shirt. 

“You’re right, it’s the historical society, not a bank.” 

“Yeah, at least a bank would have to google my name to learn about that time I was framed for murder, I’m sure everyone at the historical society was following the case independently.”  He laughs, sitting on the edge of the bed, face in his hands.  “Thousands of blogs and websites and comment threads with advice about how to dress for an interview and how to introduce yourself, but there’s not a single Buzzfeed list about how to conduct yourself after being wrongly and publicly accused of serial murder?  That seems like an irresponsible knowledge gap.” 

“Maybe you can write something up,” she sits down next to him, wishing there was something real she could do to help.  “Look, Hiccup, they wouldn’t have scheduled an interview if they didn’t think you could do the job.” 

“Or maybe they just want gory details,” he says before groaning, sitting up straight and squinting his eyes shut for a second, “you’re right.  I know you’re right.  Somehow filling in the non-existent work experience on my resume with claims that I’m a self-starter and quick-learner made them call me.” 

“I think it had more to do with the cover letter,” she rolls her eyes, out of gentle reminders after a week of his mounting anxiety, “I don’t think most applicants make a case for a building to be declared historically significant before they’ve even been interviewed.” 

“Gruff’s should be preserved,” he insists, “especially since Tuff took out the drop ceiling and found that art deco pressed tin—”

“Hiccup.” 

“And not only is it one of the last authentic speakeasies we have left, since they tore down the building on third, and even there the drug store using the space tiled over the original wallpaper—”

She kisses him to cut him off, laughing and wrapping her arms around his neck when he keeps trying to make his point, mumbling about hidden cabinets against her lips.  It takes a minute, but he relaxes with a sigh, hand sliding to her lower back to pull her closer, thumb dragging slow and sweet against her spine.  His muffled sound of disappointment when she tries to pull back keeps her there another second, dropping two soft pecks on his lips before anchoring him with her hands on his cheeks and looking seriously into his eyes. 

“Save it for your interview, ok?” 

“Save the kissing for my interview?”  He grins, lopsided and relaxed, at least momentarily.  “I thought I was moving on from my sordid past, prostituting myself in the alleys for a few bucks.” 

“Save your lectures on old buildings for your interview,” she kisses his forehead and stands up, offering him her hand and pulling him to his feet, “I can’t think of any audience more primed to hear them than the Berk Historical Society.” 

“You know, Tuff did manage to turn a profit this month,” Hiccup’s eyes flicker unsure, “bartending is a viable trade, it’s going to be around as long as people numb their feelings with alcohol.” 

“But historically significant buildings won’t if someone doesn’t start advocating for their wallpaper,” she reminds him why the job appealed to him in the first place and he sighs. 

“And if they just want to talk about Grimborn?”  He refers to the original killer but points to recent memory with his tone and she thinks for a second before picking up the hat and offering it to him. 

“Give them a tour.   Prove that you know more about this city than anyone else.” 

“I don’t need the hat to do that,” he sets it on her head with that crooked smile, “plus, it just makes me think about you now and I don’t need the extra distraction.” 

“You should probably get going,” she checks the time, pushing him gently towards the door before he can invent any other reasons to delay. 

“Right,” he leaves the room and she pauses to put the hat back on its unofficial headboard hook before following.  Hiccup is standing in the middle of the living room with the TV remote in hand, paused mid-step to watch something. 

“…recent events, it was decided that the apartment complex at 324 Harbor Road would be converted into low income housing, however when renovation began in the second-floor apartment where Grimmel Grisly’s last murder recently occurred, a possible clue to a much more famous murder at the location was discovered.” 

Hiccup looks at her, eyebrows raised as the anchor continues. 

“…possible forensic evidence found at the Elizabeth Smith crime scene could potentially reveal the true identity of Berk’s most famous outlaw, Viggo Grimborn, The Harbor Street Killer.  We have an expert here to discuss the—”

The TV screen turns black and Hiccup tosses the remote onto the couch, where it bounces off of a throw pillow and onto the floor. 

“You don’t want to watch that?”  She cocks her head, his suddenly self-assured, almost peaceful smile catching her off guard. 

“I like the mystery,” he repeats the words that infuriated her when a nuisance from another era stood in a courtyard and shouted them.  “So, I’ve got to go convince a room full of architecture nerds that I’d really love to help them save some of the old buildings that Berk has left, especially if they pay me.  Wish me luck.” 

“You don’t need it,” she insists, “you’re going to do great.  I love you.” 

He stands up a little straighter when she says it, like he always does, and she believes her own assurance even more. 

“Cool, I’ll call you when I’m done.”  He points at the TV and whispers, conspiratorial tone lighter than she would have expected, “don’t go solving Grimborn without me, ok?” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” 

#ripped #httyd fic #hiccstrid #modern au #serial killer tour guide au #it's Done #I can Rest #and drink scotch

[hedgehogsofasgard]

Why you shouldn’t always trust your vet’s advice blindly

and why people on the internet are sometimes right.

Lately I’ve been seeing a few posts going around in hedgehog Facebook groups accusing people of “hating vets” and how vets should always be trusted 100%, and be trusted over advice from the community. 

I think it’s important to address these concerns. First, pointing out wrong and possibly dangerous vet advice has nothing to do with hating vets. I respect and appreciate vets and their hard work and I’m positive most others in the community feel the same way. But that doesn’t mean I trust every vet blindly, and neither should you. The same goes for advice given on the internet. So who should you trust?

When it comes to common pets such as cats and dogs there are plenty of experienced vets and there is plenty of scientific research on a wide variety of subjects. When it comes to exotics however, there is very little information, most of it is outdated and vets don’t get to work with these animals very often. They learn little to nothing about these animals in vet school. This post isn’t about cats and dogs and other common pets. This post is about the rare exotics and the difficulties of finding the right balance between vet care and input from the community.

Let me take my own pets as an example: I own animals most vets have never seen before in their lives. I own animals most vets have never even heard of.

This means I can confidently say that I, as an owner, rescuer and breeder, have more experience and knowledge about my animals than the vast majority of vets. The same goes for many other people in the community who have experience with certain exotics. Experience which spans years or sometimes even decades. Compare the experience of someone like that to the lack of experience of most vets. Someone who has owned a certain species for years versus someone who just read half a page about them in a veterinary handbook or Googled some symptoms. I’ve been in situations where the vet actually told me they felt bad about having to charge me because they learnt more from me than the other way around.

I have several years of experience in caring for these animals, I read every scientific paper I can get my hands on and I am an active member of the (online) communities. My vets and I work closely together and we’ve read the same handbooks and manuals. Many of these contain outdated information. Sometimes there’s new research on a subject that hasn’t been included in veterinary handbooks yet and sometimes it’s through trial and error by the community that new things get discovered. It is very important for a vet not to dismiss this as “keyboard nonsense”. There are certain things I leave up to my vet and there are things I leave up to myself; the research I’ve done and the input of the community. I might be experienced in some fields but there are others I know nothing about. For me, vets are there for everything I can’t do myself: this includes veterinary treatment such as surgeries. This is often not species specific and this is something vets have studied for and know more about than I do, so that’s where I’ll have to trust them. Same goes for choosing the right medication and dosage, although some treatments are up for discussion (such as the use of Ivermectin).

For everything else I trust my own experience, research and the community more than my vet. Simply because the latter doesn’t have the experience and knowledge on subjects such as general care, behaviour, nutrition... during vet school they have learnt little to nothing about these species (and what they learnt is often outdated) and at work most of them don’t get much real hands-on experience with these species either. Take nutrition for example. The community knows most hedgehog food is unsuitable for hedgehogs due to its ingredients, yet many vets still recommend it simply because that’s what they learnt from their textbooks or in school. This is often information from decades ago.

As an example of something which could be easily prevented if the vet did more research/the owner would’ve listened to the community instead of blindly following the (inexperienced) vet, let’s take a look at Wobbly Hedgehog Syndrome (WHS).

Probably one of the most common medical mistakes regarding pygmy hedgehogs is vets diagnosing them with WHS, a very rare degenerative disease a bit similar to multiple sclerosis in humans. This disease is extremely rare and presents itself (usually) with a gradual onset of a wobbling, unsteady gait and paralysis starting at the back end, which worsens over the course of several months. WHS can only be diagnosed through necropsy. There is no way to diagnose the disease when the hedgehog is alive. The cause is unknown, although there are a few theories, and there is no cure.

Over the years I’ve seen a disturbing amount of hedgehogs diagnosed with WHS, while they were alive (impossible), and very obviously suffering from something completely different. Some of them have died while they could have been cured if they’d gotten the proper treatment instead of a misdiagnosis. In hedgehogs, one of the first major signs of illness (often after people have failed to notice the minor ones, since hedgehogs are incredibly good at hiding their illnesses) is wobbling and an unsteady gait. In fact it can be caused by something as simple as a hibernation attempt which is easily reversed by warming up the animal. Some illnesses which can show similar symptoms to WHS are: hibernation attempts, inner ear infections, a stroke, other neurological damage, spinal damage, malnutrition, a severe mite infestation, organ failure, and more.

Some of these issues are incredibly common and easy to treat as opposed to the non-curable and rare WHS.

I’ve seen people with shaky or (partially) paralysed hedgehogs go to a vet, only to be given a WHS diagnosis which essentially means a death sentence for the animal. Recently someone I talked to had this happen to them and when people suggested a second opinion with a different vet, they went and x-rays were taken. The animal turned out to have a slipped disk which was treatable. I’ve rescued a hedgehog several years ago which was found outside and brought to an inexperienced vet who told them the animal was paralysed. It turned out she was just severely emaciated and she made a full recovery. And there are more stories like this. These are just two examples of misdiagnosis.  

The community isn’t always right either

Just like not every vet knows all about hedgehogs and tenrecs (or other exotics), not everyone online does either. And even if people are very knowledgeable that doesn’t mean they are always right, or that there’s only one way to do things. All of this can be very confusing especially to new owners. It is understandable that many of them will - at first - trust their vet blindly, after all aren’t they “the authority” on animal husbandry and veterinary medicine since they actually went to school for it? We’ve already established such a degree means little to nothing when it comes to certain subjects of exotic animal care, but that doesn’t mean everyone on the internet is suddenly right. Someone can own animals for decades and still have questionable care practices.

When posting a story or a video which shows a shaking, wobbly hedgehog just as many owners will reply with concerns about WHS - even if the likelihood of the disease is extremely small.

When it comes to exotics like hedgehogs and tenrecs, neither should be trusted blindly: not the vets and not the community. Ideally, the two should work together. And none should want to replace the other.

Internet advice should never replace a vet visit

Do: asking for advice online while heading to a vet.

Don’t: asking for advice online and not going to a vet.

In the first situation, you and your vet can examine the animal and compare the advice given with the vet’s knowledge on the subject. Especially when the vet isn’t too experienced, advice from more experienced owners and breeders (or other vets) can help in certain situations.

As for the second situation - people on the internet are not a replacement for a vet. I can’t stress this enough. When in doubt, ALWAYS go to a vet. Even vets themselves aren’t supposed to diagnose your animal from a picture on the internet. Vets exist for a reason.

Do: voicing concerns and advising people to seek out proper treatment.

Don’t: diagnosing illnesses from a story online (whether you’re a vet or not).

When I see someone with a sick hedgehog or tenrec and I’m suspecting a certain illness or a misdiagnosis, I don’t just point it out. I recommend seeking out vet care or a second opinion. Not a “your hedgehog has x” or “your vet is wrong, your pet doesn’t have x it has y”. Instead: “I suspect it might be x, please seek out veterinary treatment, we cannot give a diagnosis or recommend specific treatment online” or “I suspect it might be y instead of x. It is a common misdiagnosis and your description/picture/video points towards something else than the current diagnosis. I recommend going to a different vet for a second opinion”. Why? Because I am not a vet, and even if I were, I wouldn’t give out veterinary advice online.

Example: I received pictures of a very sick hedgehog from someone who just came back from a holiday and found their hedgehog unresponsive and very weak. Everything pointed towards a severe mite infestation. I told the owner, who already had a vet appointment scheduled. The hedgehog was put under to be examined and the owner mentioned the possibility of mites multiple times but this was dismissed by the vet. They didn’t find anything else but the vet suspected kidney damage and send them home with a glucose injection and some Hills a/d to syringe feed.  Once back home, the owner sent me a close-up video of what the vet said was “sand” or “dust”, except it was crawling all over the hedgehog. Not only did the vet dismiss the concerns of me and the owner, they somehow managed to miss a severe mite infestation while examining the animal under anaesthesia. The animal received proper treatment after a second visit to a different vet but unfortunately didn’t make it.

Tips on finding a good vet

A good vet is worth their weight in gold. They do an incredibly difficult job for which they often don’t get the recognition they deserve. A job that can be very emotionally draining. And they have to deal with people who “know better” all the time. People who’ve read something online, follow the latest fad, read fake studies and voice concerns with no scientific backup whatsoever. I can fully understand a vet wanting to eye-roll at a client who read something online and is convinced their pet now has that incredibly rare disease and didn’t just catch a simple URI. With the internet it almost seems like everyone can become an expert in just a few clicks. When it comes to treating exotics however, there is indeed a wealth of knowledge amongst the community that can’t be found in textbooks and isn’t taught in school. Vets need to realize this. The only way to work with exotics is more often than not by trial and error. By listening to experienced owners and discussing treatments with other vets.

Especially when you own exotics like hedgehogs and tenrecs finding a good vet is important. Here are some tips:

Find a good vet before you get your pet. Another thing I can’t stress enough. Nothing as heartbreaking as having a very sick animal and not being able to find a vet who can treat them. And, this is probably not something people want to hear: don’t get the animal if you cannot find any good vets within travelling distance. If there is no one in your area to treat them, it doesn’t matter how badly you want the species: don’t buy them. It is incredibly unfair to the animal and it’s entirely on you if you cannot provide veterinary treatment when the animal needs it.

Keep in mind that most exotic vets are more expensive than regular vets.

Find an experienced vet and ask them about their experience. Ask them how often they have treated said species. Some people think treating a hedgehog twice and following one class on them years ago means being “experienced”. It isn’t.

Respect the decision of some vets not wanting to treat your animal because they don’t feel qualified to do so.

If you really cannot find an experienced vet - and this is almost always the case with rarer exotic species like tenrecs - find a vet who is willing to learn.

In fact this is one of the most, if not the important thing I look for in a vet. They need to be willing to learn and be open to input from others. This means discussing treatments with other vets in the country (or from other countries), as well as with me. They need to be willing to listen and adjust their information if it turns out to be incorrect. It isn’t about who’s right or wrong, it is about the animal receiving the proper treatment.

Find a vet who’s honest about their inexperience. Do not expect them to know everything, and do not blame them for it. Very little is known about hedgehogs and tenrecs and some things aren’t researched well enough or simply not at all. A vet doesn’t necessarily need to be very experienced with the species, being eager to learn and keep their knowledge up to date is more important.

A vet should be transparent about the treatment and discuss it with the owner. Concerns regarding treatment shouldn’t be dismissed.

A vet should be willing to look up things online/read up on online advice together with you and not dismiss any information that isn’t from a veterinary textbook.  Do not pick a vet who will only listen to people in their own field or their textbooks.

I’ve been to and heard of experienced exotic vets which refused to listen to the owner, misdiagnosed animals or simply turned out to be not so experienced after all. On the other hand there’s vets with zero experience but who’ve done an excellent job treating animals simply because they wanted to learn, were open to input from the owner and others (from the medical/scientific field as well as the community). I’d take the latter over the former any day.

So, long story short: when it comes to exotic animals such as hedgehogs and tenrecs vets aren’t always the most trustworthy authority especially not in any field other than medical. If multiple experienced people in the community question certain veterinary advice, chances are high it is indeed incorrect and possibly harmful. The same goes for advice that can be found online - it doesn’t always have to be correct. Do not trust every source blindly, vet or otherwise, and do as much research as possible so you can make an informed decision on what would be best for your pet.

#animals #pets #petblr #hedgehog #african pygmy hedgehog #tenrec #exotic animals #exotics #vetblr #vet #vet care #veterinary medicine

[trashforeverythingdotcom]

Wanderlust

A/n: I low-key forgot to post this, holy doodoo. I’ve had some stuff going on so this completely slipped my mind. Crazy, I know. But hey, here it is. Not that anyone’s really looking forward to reading this, haha. Anywho, for those of y’all that are actually reading this: I appreciate you.

Disclaimer: I found this gif on google. I’m too lazy to make gifs of my own.

Word count: 6124

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Chapter 3

In just an hour after her recommended pill ingestion time passed, the effects of failing to take the medicine were more than obvious. Her nails were a lot longer than she originally had them, her canines were abnormally long and sharp, and finally, she had an insatiable hunger for blood. The nails were the least of her problems, she’d gotten used to them already, even grew to think they were cute. Well, not really. Since she’d gotten her nails done a few days before her flight, her acrylic nails were still attached. With nothing to do but travel around in a carriage and look around at the moving scenery, she gently picked and picked and picked until she was able to pull the acrylic nails off her real ones. Keep in mind, her idea of gentle, is not gentle at all. Instead of being careful, she just ripped all her nails off. It was pretty painful, in case you were wondering. But the pain only lasted a second before the nails grew right back. Her canines were a minor inconvenience, but an inconvenience nonetheless. Because they were abnormally long and sharp, she kept biting her bottom lip. Which would heal quickly, yes, thanks to that wonderful healing ability vampires and dhampirs have, but it still hurt like a bitch every time it happened. And the biggest inconvenience to present itself thus far, was her appetite. She felt like she could die right then and there.

It felt terrible, she couldn’t wait to rid herself of her hunger. She grew more and more desperate as time passed, she even considered, for lack of a better term, eating her new human companions. She shook her head violently, clashing her hand to her mouth. No, she couldn’t do that. The mere thought of it was disgusting on her part. She couldn’t believe the idea had even crossed her mind. But they’d surely understand, right? There was no doubt they’d let her feed off of them, right? She bit down on her hand, immediately drawing blood as she did so. However, in an attempt to subdue her cravings, she only made things worse for herself.

“Stop the carriage, Belmont,” she heard Adrian command. Trevor groaned, “We’ve only been moving for an hour–” “Trevor, just do it.” Said Sypha, prompting yet another complaint to leave the hunter’s lips before he ordered the horses to stop moving. “Why are we stopping?”

The blond didn’t bother answering him before climbing off the wagon and turning to the other dhampir. “Out.” Aurora didn’t budge. It was like she hadn’t even realised he existed. She was in her own world. “Get out.” He repeated, though he knew it was pointless and he’d have to get her attention some other way. Alucard knew she was hungry, her pathetic behaviour was quite an indicator for it. He was considering drawing some of his own blood, knowing it’d do the job, but he heard some rustling in the woods around them and decided to go after whatever unlucky creature that was making the noise instead. He came back with a hare clutched tightly in his left hand. He brought his right hand up and lifted his index finger. His nail grew quickly and he used said nail to slice the hare open. Rory’s nostrils flared as she took in the smell of fresh blood. Her head slowly turned to face the source of the smell. She let out a sigh, “Is that for me?” “Yes, it is. But you’re going to have to step out of the wagon if you want it, otherwise, you’ll have to spend some time cleaning before we start to move again.” Adrian didn’t have to say anything else, the girl practically ran out and snatched the poor animal; sucking the life out of it behind one of the trees in a flash, thanks to her ‘super speed’. The man waited until he heard the slurping stop before he spoke once again, “Are you finished?”

“Mhm…” “Are you still hungry?”

“A bit, yes…” She was still very hungry, but she wasn’t going to say it. She felt too embarrassed to admit that.

“It’s not much for you, but it should hold you off in the meantime. We’ll go look for something bigger to eat after we finish.”

“Finish what?” Rory gulped nervously. “I’m going to start teaching you how to use your powers.”

It was dreadful. While Sypha and Trevor slept, the dhampirs fought each other in the name of 'training’. Even though the male was holding back a lot of his built strength and knowledge for fighting, the girl was worn out after a couple of hours. Thankfully, Alucard didn’t care much to continue and kept his promise. He caught a deer for her to eat. They’d share. Well, he’d drink a little bit of the blood and let her have the majority of it, but it’s still considered sharing. After that, they’d spend some more time talking about different things: what life was like for them before this point in time, what other people were like in their respective times, etc. Though, it did take some time for Rory to open up about her childhood and for good reason. There were many things that were difficult for her to speak about: her father’s death being one and the abuse she’d gone through afterward because of her mother’s bad taste in men being the another. Those were things she didn’t open her mouth about. Whenever the topic came up, she’d subtly change the subject. It never once went past Adrian, but he wasn’t the type to pry, either, and so, he’d always go along in the direction that she moved the conversation.

After a week of doing the same thing every night, -training more and more furiously each time- Adrian thought it would be quite fun to try something different. He’d already taught her how to use her telekinetic abilities, but he had yet to teach her how to float. It wasn’t imperative for her to know how to float, but he figured that it would be nice to take a break from combat training. When he told Rory about this idea, she was actually pretty excited.

And when she actually managed to do it, she felt great. At first, she thought, “cool, I can float.” She loved the idea that she didn’t have to use her legs to get to point A to point B. But once she started to float, she couldn’t stop floating. And that was why, while everyone else enjoyed sitting outside of the carriage, watching things as they passed, she stayed inside yet again; sitting with her arms and legs crossed. Or, at least, trying to since every moment she forgot about the floating issue, she floated to the very top before she managed to bring herself back down– often times asking the vampire tutor himself for help.

“There. That’s my tree.” Trevor pointed. The other three people in the vicinity looked at it. “I used to play in that tree, we’re almost there.”

Oh thank God. She was really struggling to keep still. “It’s hard to imagine you playing.” Aurora heard Sypha say. “Yeah. I suppose so. But it was everything, that tree. It was my house and my boat and my fort. Anything I wanted it to be.” Trevor looked back as they continued, “goodnight, tree.” Aurora decided to go to the far back of the carriage, using the skinny pieces of wood to help her manoeuvre her way over to the unbothered blond. “Hey, why don’t you come and sit down?”

Adrian turned around and looked inside, “I don’t really want to.” Aurora shot him a look that told him she wasn’t amused by his comment and that was all it took for him to climb inside.

They sat in peace and quiet with the occasional complaint about the floating issue. “I guess I won’t be sleeping for the next few days. Between taking care of you and finding ways to kill my father, my hands are full.”

She smiled nervously, “sorry about that.” Adrian shook his head, “It’s quite alright. I don’t even need to sleep, I’m half-vampire, remember?”

“Even still…”

“Like I said, it’s fine. Believe it or not, this is a… pleasant distraction from what is happening.” “I’m sorry about that too…” Once again, he shook his head. “Don’t be. It’s not your fault, you haven’t caused me any trouble apart from floating uncontrollably. It’s my father that is making things difficult for everyone.” His little speech was interrupted by the vampire hunter that worked part time as a chauffeur.

“We’re here,” Trevor announced once the wagon had come to a full stop. “Get out, bloodsuckers.” Sypha elbowed him before they hopped off their seats. Alucard stepped out and walked toward the ruined building without a second thought. “Um… Alucard.” Aurora called out.

“Yes?” “Do you mind helping me out here?” “You’ve got legs, you can help yourself out.” “What if I float away?” “That won’t happen, don’t worry.” “But what if it does? How can you be so sure?”

Alucard sighed, he knew he wasn’t going to win this mini argument. He reminded himself that this was entirely new to the girl and that she didn’t know any better. The blond walked back over to her and offered her his left arm. “If it makes you feel better, you can hold onto me.”

Aurora didn’t hesitate to grab onto the dhampir’s arm and cling to it as she got down from the carriage and floated alongside him into the destroyed Belmont family home.

They walked in through the front, each of them lit and held their own torch, except for Alucard, of course, since he was too busy letting the seventeen year old hold onto him. “This was your home?” Sypha asked as they walked around the ruined mansion.

“Yeah.” Trevor responded. “You grew up here?” “Yeah.” “I can’t imagine what it was like to grow up in a single place.” “Are you a gypsy or something?” Aurora asked from where she was. “No, I’m a Speaker, I told you.” “Okay, cool. Thanks for clearing things up.” Trevor sighed, ignoring the interaction and answering what he was asked, “It was fine. Wasn’t the worst way to grow up.” “How old were you when your family home was taken?” Alucard stroked the doorway when he asked this question before stepping away toward the only other man in the building, completely unbothered by the teenager that clung onto him for dear life.

“Oh, thirteen? Fourteen? Something like that.” “You’ve been on your own since you were thirteen?” Sypha was obviously shocked by this information. “Maybe twelve. Who remembers that sort of thing?” Aurora just listened, she couldn’t imagine what it had been like for him. She couldn’t imagine being put in his position. “Twelve,” Alucard repeated. “Is there a point to these questions?” “I’m disturbed to find that I had more of a childhood than you did.” Trevor dusted himself off as he stood back up, “and your dad’s fucking Dracula.”

Alucard chuckled. Pretty soon everyone in the ruined room was giggling. But it ended just as quickly as it started. Trevor and Sypha left the room together first. Then so did Alucard, stringing Aurora along with him as they looked around before Trevor announced that he found the opening to the hold. They all gathered around, Aurora’s eyes scanned every face in front and beside her as they all spoke.

“Your hidden entrance looks like a hearthstone.” Alucard jested. Trevor grunted as he picked up one of the giant pieces of rubble, “just help me clear it.” He ordered and he struggled to set it down somewhere that would be out of the way. Alucard smirked to himself and did the same with ease. It was so easy for him, in fact, that he was able to throw the stone across the room one handed, though he had no choice but to, he had someone at his side that would not let go of his arm.

“Aurora, you’ve got super strength too, don’t be lazy,” Alucard called her out, prompting the soon to be eighteen year old to turn her face and look at him. “Uhh… Are you sure I’m gonna be able to pick this up?” She expressed her doubt.

“You’re half-vampire, are you seriously telling me you don’t think you can pick up small pieces of rock?” Trevor glared at Alucard, not amused by his comment. “They’re pretty big–” she stopped herself when she saw one of those ‘small pieces of rock’ flying toward her face. Her hands unclasped themselves from the man’s limb and instinctively moved up to protect herself, catching it in the process. “Hey! What the hell?” “Is it heavy?” “No, but–” “Okay then, maybe next time I tell you to do something and I’m clearly capable of doing it as well, you’ll do it.” “Fuck you.”

“No thank you, my bed is only suited for one person at a time. Typically, I’d be able to squeeze a woman in if I wanted to, but you’re a bit… big,” he responded nonchalantly as he finished moving the rocks out of the way. Did he just call her fat? Yes. Yes he did. Rory rolled her eyes. “Congratulations. You’ve just discovered a big piece of stone.” The brat announced before turning to face Aurora, “congratulations to you, too. You’re not floating anymore.” The girl looked down and smiled. He wasn’t lying, she wasn’t floating. Her smile faded once she looked down at the ‘door’.

“Why’d you even bother me about moving those rocks if you were gonna do it yourself, anyway?” She muttered in annoyance as she stepped to the side.

“It’s the door,” Trevor corrected him a little too late, the feeling of agitation was still fresh, regardless.

“Do we lift it, or…?” Sypha questioned, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion whilst she looked at said door.

Alucard didn’t waste a second, immediately attempting to lift the ‘door’ off the ground. When he couldn’t just pop it open, Sypha ran her hands over the engravings. “I see now. You won’t be able to lift it.”

“Well, my family got it up somehow. I was taken down there as a child.” “Did you see them lift it?” “No, they brought me through it once it was opened. They told me they’d teach me how to do it one day, I supposed there was a special trick.” “Oh, that’s nice.” Aurora cackled cynically. “Were your parents magicians?” “No. I mean, they knew a lot, but this door was put in by one of our ancestors.” “Well, I guess the special trick was passed down the generations, the way we speakers transmit knowledge. Your parents knew the trick, but didn’t know where it came from or what it really was.” Sypha stood up straight. “Stand back.” Without a peep coming from anyone, they all moved away before she magicked that door away. Yes, away. That door was gone and Aurora was confused. “Open sesame.”

“Was that an Enochian word?” Alucard asked as he handed the woman her torch.

“Yes, I know that language.” She said proudly as she took it. “Well, well, naughty Belmonts hunting the terrible things of the forest but sitting on a magic door opened by occult language.” “I didn’t know it was a fucking magic door. Doesn’t make us black magicians.” “But you know that the word ‘teloch’ means ‘of death’, right?” “Shut up.” He muttered as he walked down the stairs. “It’s the magical door of death, Belmont.” “Are you coming or what?” They went in, climbing down the stairs. Aurora admired the architecture as they did so. She loved old buildings, more specifically, the ones from the dark ages and prior. They were so beautiful in her eyes, nothing could compare to them. “Belmont isn’t even a Wallachian name. That just dawned on me.”

“Yeah, it’s French,” Aurora answered absent-mindedly. Trevor smiled at her answer, “yes. My family’s originally from the Kingdom of France, but we moved out of there a few hundred years ago.” “Moved or chased?” Alucard teased. “Moved, thank you very much.” “With people behind you waving pitchforks and torches?” Aurora giggled, having seen Sypha facepalm in response to Alucard’s remarks. Alucard thought she was laughing at his comments and felt pleased with himself for it.

“No. No, we’re professionals, we move where the work is.”

“What does that even mean?” Sypha scoffed. They’d just reached the bottom of the stairs and were standing in front of yet another door.

“All the dark things moved into the east. I think it was a Leon Belmont who entered the region first.” He explained, wagging his finger around prior to opening the door. Luckily, this door didn’t require magic to open, but it did take a little bit of rattling to open. “And he built this house and dug the foundations for everything underneath it.

Sypha used magic to bring light to the hold Deluminator* style. Aurora was amazed, “Yo, I think JK Rowling stole that from you– holy shit this has more books than every library in Miami combined.” She continued to scan the area with her eyes, “holy fuck are those real skeletons? Qué chévere*!”

“My God,” Sypha let out, handing her torch over to Alucard who seemed unimpressed.

“The memory of my family. All that’s left of us.” Trevor walked down the steps. The older woman followed him down, “is it organised?” She asked, “is there a way to find things?” Alucard stepped down as well, “I imagine one sacrifices a chicken and divines the location of the book you want from the intestines. Maybe Belmont has a crystal ball in here you could ask.” Trevor glared at him furiously, “shut up..” “It’s an impressive tip, Belmont, but it is, nonetheless, a tip. Your ancestors were apparently mentally ill hoarders. I fully expect to find family cats mummified under some of these shelves. Unless your family preferred to eat them.” Trevor shoved him, passing him down the steps, “There’s an index on the lectern at the bottom.” “So this really is a managed collection?” Sypha thought aloud. “It’s the work of generations. An archive of everything we’ve found and learned since the days of Leon Belmont.” Alucard separated himself from the group, as did Aurora, but she went in a different direction, eager to see the statues she’d spotted from the top of the staircase up close.

“What was your Leon Belmont doing in Wallachia?” “Hunting Dracula.” Alucard said as he stared at the glass case that contained vampire skulls. “Here it all is, then. The last of us.”

And the group discussion continued, Aurora drowned them out as she admired the sculptures. The conversation didn’t interest her until she heard Sypha admiring the contents of the structure. “This is quite amazing. Isn’t it? It’s amazing.”

“Charming.” “You’re not even a little bit impressed?” “Yeah, Al, you have to admit, this place is bomb as fuck.” Aurora called from where she was. She could feel his glare from across the room.

“It’s like a museum dedicated to the extermination of our people, so no. Not thrilled. And you shouldn’t be, either.” He lectured before walking away from the glass case that only served to fuel his disgust.

“Someone’s salty.” Aurora murmured, moving her attention away from the statues and heading over to the index Trevor told them about. She prayed the brunet’s family had what she needed to find: anything related to time-travel and locators. She hoped the things she saw on her TV had some truths to them. She hoped the Vampire Diaries got that locator spell thing right. She read the different categories and found herself a bit disappointed, but she didn’t give up completely. She re-read the pages as if anything would change. Of course nothing did, but she did notice a category she hadn’t picked up on before. She grinned, it was exactly what she needed. Well, for the most part. While there weren’t any locator spells, she did find one for time related things. Thanks to that, she was able to have some sort of starting point, some place to start looking. Her smile dropped. It was really shitty of her to be amid the population of literate beings and not offer to help the very people that helped her. She felt a bit guilty, she was being selfish.

“Al,” Aurora called, still scanning through the index in case she still missed something. Not even a second after she summoned him, he appeared behind her.

“What do you want?” His arms were crossed. “To help you.” His gaze softened, “but I don’t know where to even start looking or what you’re looking for…” she finished.

Alucard smiled softly, “you want to help me, hm? Can you even read?” “Do you think I’d be offering to help if I didn’t?” “What languages can you read in?” “Well, I can read in English, all the romance languages, and German. Hopefully, I can be of some help.”

“It’s better than absolutely nothing. Belmont can’t even read himself.” He commented, “wait, do all humans read and understand more than one language in the future?”

“Not everyone knows how to read, but the vast majority do. And not many speak and read in multiple languages… I was raised speaking mainly English, Spanish and Romanian. Romanian from my mother, Spanish from my father and his side of the family as well as the kids in school that only spoke Spanish that I’d translate for. English because that was the main language that was mainly spoken in school. My mom made it a point to drill the importance of learning as many languages as I can. I didn’t really mind since I figured it’d help me when I become a doctor and needed to help someone that doesn’t speak English.”

“You want to become a doctor?” He repeated, finding that to be very interesting, he didn’t really expect for her to say she wanted to be a doctor. “Yeah, I like to help people, believe it or not. I know I’ve acted a bit selfish for the past few days, I promise I’m not usually like that,” she explained. “Anyway, what do I look for and where do I look for it?” Alucard directed her to the general area.

“Don’t worry yourself too much about helping us, a lot of the texts are in languages you might not understand, regardless. We don’t mind if you look for your own things.”

“I still want to help any way I can since you’ve all been nice to me. I’ll look for my stuff later tonight before I go to sleep or something. But I want to prioritise this since this is the more pressing issue.”

Alucard nodded and started walking off before he stopped and turned to speak to the seventeen year old again. “If you need help in your search, don’t be shy about asking me.”

Aurora smiled at him and nodded, “Okay, cool.” “Cool? You’re feeling chilly?” “No,” she giggled. “How do I explain what cool means to a guy from the fifteenth century? In this context, I meant that it was fine. However, sometimes it’s used to say that something or someone is impressive? It’s also used as another way to say ‘yes’ or ‘sure.”

“Ah. Alright. Thanks for the unnecessary lesson,” he chuckled. “Oh, fuck you.” “As I’ve stated before, I prefer to keep my bed to myself.”

Aurora rolled her eyes aggressively and walked off to start looking through the many books in the small section Adrian had pointed her to not too long ago. She took her phone, plugged her headphones in, and hummed along to the music she was listening to as she searched the gigantic archive. Adrian watched her closely as she read and sang before looking through some books himself.

“Alucard, look what I’ve–” Sypha stopped speaking the moment she saw him staring at the other dhampir and quietly walked backwards toward the spot she was at previously. The young blond didn’t even seem to notice.

Hours had passed since then, Trevor and Sypha had already gone to sleep; Aurora and Adrian stayed up as usual. She’d forgotten the dhampir didn’t sleep because it was so quiet in there. She took this opportunity to do what she normally did when she was alone in her room at night back at home: cry. If not cry, then just allow herself her time alone to feel every emotion she’d suppressed throughout the course of the day. It was her way of making up for her unhealthy habit of keeping her remotely negative emotions locked off. But even when she was ‘letting it out’ in private, she still held herself back. She never let herself fully eject these sensations. Along with struggling to speak to others about her problems, she struggled to admit them to herself as well. She was her worst therapist. Her worst friend. Her worst enemy. Since ‘everyone was asleep’, she let herself cry. Adrian heard her and walked over to her quietly. He watched her wipe her tears as they streamed down her face all the while, she kept reading the book she held in her hands. She told  herself to stop crying and stop being an idiot as she keeps skimmed on through. Adrian’s eyebrows furrowed at the sight. He found it cool that she still kept going even though she was visibly stressed, but he didn’t like seeing her cry. It irked him for some reason. She looked up from her book and finally noticed he was standing there with his arms crossed. Quickly, she wiped her tears and fixed her hair in a lame attempt at looking presentable. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough.” “Hm…” she looked back down at her book. “You’re not going to sleep?” “I don’t need to.” “Ah, yeah, right. I forgot about that.” “How are you feeling?”

“I’m good,” she shot him a small smile before turning her attention back to the book. But she really couldn’t concentrate on it now. Not that she was completely focused before, but it was worse now that Adrian was talking to her, now that she’d been caught crying, now that she was a bit embarrassed.

“You don’t have to lie to me. I imagine this can’t be easy for you at all.” He sat down next to her on the floor. She didn’t speak. His golden eyes narrowed, “You’re awfully quiet for someone who always has something weird or slick to say about everything.” He saw another tear slip from her left eye. “Sorry, I–” “It’s alright, you don’t have to speak if you don’t want to…” Aurora smiled softly, her way of silently saying 'thank you.’ “How are you feeling?” She asked. “If I tell you, then you have to tell me.” “It’s not that easy…” “It’s not easy, but you seem to need it. I mean, look at you. You look terrible.” She scoffed, “fine…”

“Well, I’m going to put this as bluntly as possible: I feel like shit,” he sighed. And then he elaborated. Aurora listened intently as he did so. He expressed how utterly terrified he was, expressed how depressed he was about the fact that he was going to have to kill the very man that raised him. “It’s been tearing me apart for the past year now. He’s too far gone, he’s gone completely mad and there’s no going back for him. My mother didn’t want him to get like this, but that doesn’t matter. What matters to him is revenge, not even I can convince him otherwise because I don’t matter to him any more.” He continued on. And when he had finished, he told her to speak to him, to tell him how she was feeling at the moment. Adrian didn’t typically care about hearing others talk about their feelings, but there was something in the way a woman’s tears– that woman’s tears made him feel. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling at all. It twisted his stomach around in ways he didn’t think his stomach could. He found himself genuinely wanting her to be okay, willing to invest his time and energy to ensure she would be.

“I’m scared. I don’t want to sound like I’m clingy, because I’m not, but the fact that I don’t know where or when she is, is killing me. She’s been my best friend since birth and this is the longest I’ve been apart from her without knowing where or how she was. I can’t imagine how scared she is. I mean, knowing her, she probably isn’t. She’s got a stronger personality than I do, she’s very stern, ya know? She’s smart, too. Very smart. But I can’t imagine how she might be feeling. What if she didn’t pack her pills and suddenly vamped up without knowing what was going on? And my mom, I can’t imagine how she’s feeling. She must be scared out of her mind. We came to Romania to visit without her. We told her we’d text her the moment we got to the hotel. She hasn’t heard anything from us, she must be so worried.” She let out an exasperated sigh. “I’m sorry, I ended up ranting…”

“It’s alright, you don’t need to apologise, I asked you to talk to me,” he chuckled; pressing his elbow against his thigh as he propped his head up on his left hand, watching and listening to the girl. “If it’s not too much for one night, would you mind telling me what your childhood was like? Being that you come from a different time, I’m hoping I’m right to assume that it was probably a lot better than any of ours.”

Aurora grimaced. The thought of her early childhood physically pained her, made her stomach flip, made her throat dry. He’d noticed this and once again, his softened face hardened. His eyebrows furrowed and his eyes narrowed as he paid close attention to her. He was a bit scared of what he was going to hear. “It wasn’t entirely bad, in the technological front, it was a hell of a lot better than yours. But it’s just a time in my life I really don’t like to think about. I don’t really like to let myself think about it… I haven’t really told anyone about those things, not even my sister. And don’t get me wrong, I’d love to talk about it but it’s just kind of… Actually, no. I can’t,” she started to cry again. “Oh… I’m sorry…”

“I’m not going to force you to speak, but I’m going to give you a small piece of advice. Whether you choose to let me be the one to hear it or not, you should let it out. It’s obviously affecting you now and it’s only going to get worse for you if you let it continue to sit in the back of your mind.”

Aurora stayed quiet, tears still flowing out of her eyes. Adrian stood up, not wanting to pry or make her uncomfortable. He was ready to walk away when Aurora grabbed his wrist. “Stay? Please?” She sniffled loudly. Adrian looked down at her, gazed at her sympathetically and sat back down. He pulled his hand out of her grasp and replaced it with the other so he could wrap his right arm around the girl’s shoulder and pull her closer. Aurora rested her head on his shoulder.

They stayed quiet for the most part. The seventeen year old sniffled repeatedly and her teardrops slipped out of her eyes and fell onto the man’s white shirt. The more she thought about it, the more visible her pain became. Even if she needed to speak, she didn’t want to. She was grateful he didn’t push for the topic. She cried so hard that it was almost impossible for her to speak, she hiccuped profusely and had to wait until she was able to calm herself down a bit before she could speak again.

“Thank you, Alucard,” she sniffled, clutching onto the sleeve of his shirt. He took his hand back out of her grasp so he could wipe the tears off her face as if to tell her he wasn’t asking her to re-live her pain. “Stop calling me Alucard when you know very well that isn’t my name,” he chuckled.

“I’m sorry,” she let out a choked laugh.

Adrian wiped the tears off her pale face once again, this time letting his hand cup her cheek. The hand that was resting on her shoulder moved to rub her back in an attempt to comfort her. “I’d like to apologise–”

“No. Don’t do that,” she told him. “Do what?” “Don’t apologise. I don’t want that. I don’t want you to feel sorry for me.”

“I feel horrible that you’re suffering like this, but I can assure you, I do not pity you. I admire you,” he rubbed her cheek with his thumb, careful not to scratch her flushed face. “I just think that strong character of yours is doing more damage than good for you.” He stared into her bright blue eyes and she stared back into his golden ones.

“Strong character, my ass. I’m crying like a little bitch,” she laughed at herself scornfully. They fell silent once again.

“I do hope you find your sister soon and that she is somewhere safe in Walachia this year.” He thought aloud, not realising his thoughts were out in the open until Aurora sniffled and let out a tiny giggle, “Why? You want me to stick around?” She was reading into what he’d said and shamelessly voiced that fact.

“Well, yes.” He answered bluntly. Aurora held herself back from grinning from ear to ear and looked away, “You really want me to stay?”

“Well…” there was no point in saying otherwise now, he’d already said too much. “I said that much already. I don’t think I can be clearer than this.” He looked ahead as well, not wanting her to pick up on the fact that he was visibly flustered.

“I still need to find a way to go back home, though.”

“Ah, yes, of course. I’m not saying you have to stay, I’m not going to force you. The choice is entirely up to you.” He was desperately trying to mask his disappointment. He felt like he was being rejected. Of course she wouldn’t want to stay with him, she had a whole life to get back to and he was just one random stranger she met by chance. He couldn’t expect her to just give that all up for him. It was stupid of him to even consider the possibility of her prolonging her stay.

“I’d have to at least tell my mom goodbye, I can’t just let her think I’m lost or dead, you know? But that’s obviously if I even find out how to get back there. Regardless, I might just end up staying. That is, if you really do want me to stay.” She smiled sweetly before placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. Adrian’s eyes widened then shot back to their normal size before Aurora could catch it. “Are you seriously considering it or are you just saying that because it seems like the appropriate thing to say right now?”

The girl shook her head, “I am… considering it.” The blond shot her the most beautiful smile she’d ever seen in her life.

“I’m glad, then.” He couldn’t be bothered to wipe his smile from his face. “Why don’t you tell me about your sister? You seem to love her very much.” “I do,” She giggled, “but she’s probably the biggest pain in my ass. She always goes off on a tangent about how she’s the mature one out of the two of us, how she’s more reserved than I am, but she throws the wildest tantrums and everyone can read her like an open book.”

“Do you throw a lot of tantrums?” “I don’t think so…” “Are you sure? You’ve yelled at me quite a few times.” “Okay? But those aren’t tantrums. I was yelling at you because you deserved it.” She slapped his thigh playfully. “Your twig ass called me fat way too many times, you’ve gotta face some sort of consequence.”

They giggled quietly. That’s how they spent the rest of the night, curled up to each other, skimming through many books and talking about random things that came to mind, and laughing about stupid things throughout the late hours until morning.

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