#i am really hoping to just try to look at things differently

[ariaste]

Apparently there was some lil drama in Good Omens fandom again about people being deeply nervous and scared of the end of Season 3, and I wrote this in the replies of one of the asks that Neil Gaiman answered, but I feel like it is deserving of being crossposted into its own post (in a slightly expanded form) so folks actually see it.

cmere, good omens fandom, we're having an intervention. a Come To Jesus talk, if you will.

First of all, I'm literally begging the fandom to:

learn what personal boundaries are, especially around parasocial relationships with strangers. (Suggestion: When sending asks to authors you like, use "polite work email" etiquette, not "joking with a friend" etiquette. The latter comes off REAL weird sometimes, and sometimes outright mean/rude/bullying).

take a couple deep fucking breaths

embrace the philosophy of The Author's Intent Only HAS To Matter To The Author, It Does Not Have To Matter To YOU. If you do not like the author's intent, you can say "hmmmm no thanks" and write some fanfic. That's what it's for.

Friends, Romans, countrymen..... Stop trying to make Neil Gaiman responsible for your happiness. For one thing, that is an absolutely unfair and cruel burden to put on a stranger who doesn't know you. Neil is only responsible for Neil's happiness. You're responsible for your own happiness. In fact, do not rely on ANY external source to guarantee your happiness, not even very nice people like Neil, not even your significant other, not even your family members. Yes, those people might be able to help you with your happiness, but they cannot guarantee it. Expecting a third party to guarantee your happiness is how corporations exploit you, and it is the source of all media trauma. Take agency over your own joy! Don't give away your power! Plan to DIY your personal ideal ending!

Neil is not telepathic, Neil cannot know all your hopes and dreams and wishes, nor SHOULD he be expected to know them, nor does he have space to know them. He is busy with things like his own and Terry's hopes and dreams and wishes. Their hopes/dreams/wishes are just as valid and important as yours, aren't they? Yes, they are. So calm down. caaaaaaaallllllm dowwwwwn.

Yes, I love the show very much too, but at the end of the day it is just a story. And the great thing about stories is that you are empowered to retell them in a different way. It is not real, so if you end up unsatisfied by S3, then blithely impose your own reality and build your own joy. It's not like it's the End Of The World or anything (lil fandom joke there for you)

And look, if you read this and you're feeling Mad and Upset or Frustrated about it, that is a symptom that you are maybe feeling a little stung in your Media Trauma parts. I am sorry that other stories have let you down in the past, and I really sympathize that you are feeling scared about the fate of this story that really matters to you. You've invested a lot of love into it! I really understand the fear! You don't want to be hurt again, and that's super understandable and normal.

But bestie, literally the only way for you to find a story that's exactly perfect for you and that won't hurt you at all is for you to write it yourself. I know that sucks to hear, but it is the truth. If you keep pinning a hope of perfection on other people's stories, you will keep getting traumatized by the media you consume. Love other people's stories for what they ARE, not for the stories that you WANTED them to be -- the same way that we love people, you know? You have to let a person be their own person; you can't force them to be someone else. That's fucked up, so if you notice that you keep trying to do that, maybe go to therapy so you can be that Someone-Else person for yourself (or, if you can't afford therapy, read some self-help books from the library or find some good channels on Youtube who make content that might help with that (I really like JulienHimself)).

If you need a story to be something big and important for you, if you are seeking catharsis and healing from a story that matters to you and you're really scared that you won't get it, then open a Word document and start typing. You can do it. You're a human being, and you evolved to tell stories. Literally it's a species specialization. You got this. It's gonna be okay, because you're going to seize the means of production and MAKE it okay. Yes? Yes.

Good Omens S3 will be what it will be. It will be what Neil wants it to be and what Terry would have wanted it to be. Period. That IS actually the highest achievement and the most noble and admirable accomplishment that we can hope for. And hey, maybe what they want overlaps with what you want, and that will be wonderful! But that will be merely a happy coincidence. The only person who can TRULY center your wants is YOU. So stop trying to trap Neil into doing it, please, because he's busy and it's not his job, AND because your wants do matter and you deserve to have someone who can give your wants their 100% full attention (aka you. that's you. only you can do that. Not even your best friends in the world can do it. Not even your mom can do it, at least not if you're old enough to know how to read.)

It's gonna be okay. Really. Really, it is. No, stop typing the snarky melodramatic reply. This is not the time for jokes; I'm being serious. It's going to be okay. Neil Gaiman can only break your heart exactly as much as you allow him to do so. That's how art works. You have to consent in order to be affected by it, and you can withdraw your consent at any time. You're going to be okay. I promise. As long as you choose to claim your own agency and your own empowerment as an individual, then all will be well and all manner of things will be well.

#good omens #good omens s3 #media trauma #neil gaiman #fandom

[ethruia]

ONE NIGHT ONLY — 9. life360 doesn’t gatekeep

synopsis — three years since your falling out with lee donghyuck he has suddenly transfered to your college in hopes to make it big with his friends in his band. unfortunately for you, your unresolved friendship started causing problems between you and the people around you, especially since your best friend is his ex. so — why have you found yourself in his room with a raging hangover?

a/n; IM SO SORRY FOR ANOTHER WRITTEN PART

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TAGS; @j2upiters @aerivrs @haesluvr @hyuck-me @tywritesstuff @aek1ra @ourbeautifulaffair @222brainrot @bugcattie @nosungluv @manooffline @amrqxz @haechansbbg @odxrilove

YOU SLOWED DOWN YOUR CAR AS YOU TURNED INTO THE PARKING LOT.

the arcade your friends decided to go to was called ‘pete’s paradise’. it was slightly small but jam packed with different rows filled with a variety of games. your friends always loved to go there after yangyang got off work to play air hockey. anton always complained that karina was too good for the group and never wanted to go against her because he knew he would lose. when you walked up to the entrance to pete’s haechan and jisung were standing by the doors waiting for you to arrive. you said your hello’s to the two of them entered the building.

you immediately spotted your friends by the dance dance revolution machine, jaemin and giselle were both playing while anton was bickering with yangyang and karina.

“well it’s not my fault you were acting like we haven’t seen each other for ten years” anton shrugged.

“it’s called an expression you idiot” karina rolled her eyes. “your brain just too small to figure out context clues” she turned away from anton and noticed you three at the door.

“yn! you’re here!” she ran over and gave you a hug. the rest of the group followed after when they noticed she said your name.

“i see you followed our advice and brought jisung! just a little surprise to see haechan too” giselle spoke up, as it was your turn to give her a hug next.

“um yeah.. we didn’t want to exclude him i hope that’s okay” you were quite nervous about giselle and haechan in the same room but hopefully she would stay true to her word and not be too bothered with you two.

after awhile things tended to get less awkward and everyone was having fun — anton was playing whack-a-mole with jisung, yangyang was with jaemin and giselle and they were playing some racing game, and that left karina with you as haechan went to the bathroom. you took the time spent with her to tell her about how you’ve been feeling so you could finally get advice from a third party.

“haechan has a crush on me. he told me a few days ago and i don’t know how to feel about it. i mean i had a crush on him in high school but it was too late, he was already with giselle. now i feel like i shouldn’t do anything about it because you know how heartbroken he left her and i don’t want to make her upset or uncomfortable” you were fidgeting with your fingers when you looked at her as she was trying to piece together a response.

“well you can’t control someone you like. i know you don’t want to hurt giselle but i think you should go for it. they broke up almost four years ago, plus she has a really nice thing going on with jaemin right now. she did say not to date him and as much as i don’t want secrets in the group, you should date him” she was confirming the only real way you had to go about this — a secret relationship.

“he’s taking me on a date later after we leave”

“what about jake? you didn’t break up that long ago, i know your feelings for haechan are genuine but you still got hurt recently” her voice was filled with concern.

“i am definitely hurt but i think him leaving me for yuna made me feel like there wasn’t even a point for me to even be upset, he was distant even before we broke up there really isn’t any surprises” karina looked at you like she was giving you her approval and that’s all you needed. you would talk to giselle on your own soon but first you had to put your relationship with donghyuck first.

while you were having your talk with karina, giselle was also having a conversation with yangyang.

“i feel a little upset with them being together if i’m being honest, but i know i should probably get over it” she gave a slight smile as she knew that she couldn’t block out what was happening between you two. “i know they’ve been best friends for years and now that they’ve rekindled it i shouldn’t feel this way, but i just feel a lot of the repressed emotions from before i guess”

“and your feelings are valid you know,” yangyang took a slight pause. “he was your first real relationship, your first true love. it would only make sense it hurts to see him”

“i just don’t want to ruin this for yn. she’s my best friend and i don’t want to hurt her because i ‘forbid’ her from associating someone she spent so many years with”

“just give it time — for now just focus on the fashion show and then give it some more thought after” yangyang squeezed her hand as he got up and walked with her back over to where jaemin was playing skee-ball.

for the next 2 hours everyone spent time rotating the games until it was the time to go their separate ways. you said goodbye to everyone until it was time to finally leave with haechan.

“you ready?” haechan took your hand and guided you to your car.

“are you ready to be a passenger princess?”

“i’m always ready to be your passenger princess you don’t even need to ask” he got into the car and showed you where he wanted to take you — a small shopping district not too far away from where you were.

#nct #nct dream #nct 127 #nct imagines #nct 127 imagines #nct dream imagines #nct smau #nct 127 smau #nct dream smau #haechan imagines #nct social media au #nct 127 social media au #nct dream social media au #haechan x reader #nct x reader #nct 127 x reader #nct dream x reader #nct scenarios #haechan scenarios #nct dream scenarios #nct 127 scenarios #lee haechan #lee donghyuck #nct fluff

[jeons-catalyst]

https://x.com/JungkooksJimin9/status/1787162200790204725

I know alot of ppl take this moment as some intimate moment but i don't really see it that way....i mean it's there in bangtan bomb that the reason jk's hand was over jm's was because he laughed hard at wtv jm said and he put his hand on jm's it's the similar gesture you do when you laugh and hit whoever is near you. It's the same habit of jimin's whenever he laughs so jk put his hand right over jm's while laughing and at the same time the cam was on them and he removed it. In the full clip if you see then jk's hand wasn't already there since before the cam at all you can see it in video. His hand was on jm's for just a second before the cam focused on them but before that even in the full filmed bangtan bomb you can see they were standing while chatting and drinking and in jk's one of the hand he held his glass nd the other one was by his side only.

I'm sorry i know it looks like I'm trying hard to prove and it might look like I'm being anti or something but it's just i never saw this moment as intimate and ppl always post the clip and pic when jk's hand was already there so it seems like it was there for long time and he removed only because cam came when for me it was just a gesture you do when you're laughing. The full clip shows jk's hand was already there. So I'm just giving different POV. To me it looks like two friends (that are shy and nervous of having conversations with ppl they are not really familiar with) hiding away from ppl and having their own chitchat like we all do with our bestie in social events. Tae is pretty extrovert in these situations, RM and hobi too. Jk was pretty much by hobi's side throughout apart from few moments with jm and tae(when taekook dances), jin (they were sitting together Sharing drink when hobi was on stage). Jin was also on his own and left early. So just like that jkk were having their own chitchat. Jimin was mostly seen with enwoo and the other guy BTS are frnds with from wkorea.

Hope you understand what I'm saying. no one has to agree with me I'm just sharing my pov on this moment 😅

Anon, i’m pretty sure there are so many things you and i wouldn’t see or perceive in the same way and that is fine. You came to give your own POV which is that this moment doesn’t look or seem like more to you. I 100% don’t agree with your POV and i am definitely not going to try to make you see things from mine because what you and I believe or think about Jikook’s moments doesn’t change anything about their relationship with each other.

You think Jk’s hand was on Jimin because he was laughing so hard and that is fine with me although I don’t agree. I don’t agree because of their reaction when they noticed the camera. You mentioned that pple always screenshot or cut just the moment when Jk has his hands on Jimin? Well let’s see a clip which kinda shows us the before and after shall we?

This entire moment is just 6 seconds long but what we see here is Jimin and Jk standing together, Jk has a champagne glass in his hand and Jimin is laughing with his hands on his head. We then see them standing together really close to each other laughing in what looks like a dark corner. From the beginning of the next clip, we can clearly see Jk’s hand already on Jimin’s and seeing as they were in the dark, alone, it is clear that the person with the camera only popped in at that second and Jikook immediately separate from each other when they notice the camera. They are both still laughing but what is worth noting is that, Jimin seems so flustered that he doesn’t even face the cameras at all. These are people who have lived a good amount of their lives infront of cameras so what reason is there for them to be this flustered and immediately separate from each other when they notice a camera? What were they doing wrong? Do you honestly believe that we would have gotten this same reaction if that was Jk with any of his other hyungs? They are at a party with cameras everywhere around them which means they shouldn’t even really notice it but look how jimin and Jk behave. You only act shifty when you are doing something you don’t want people to know about. If Jk’s hands being on Jimin was innocent and was just because they were laughing so hard as you claim, then i don’t think he wouldn’t have felt the need to take it off immediately he saw the camera.

We are all speculating here and perceiving things in our own different ways so there is no rule that states that we all have to see things the same way. Variety is the spice of life anyway, isn’t it? This moment probably speaks volumes to me because i cannot tell you how many times i have “caught” my friends who were dating in secret, in positions like this with the exact same reactions, plus i have also been in positions like this so the whole thing is all too familiar to me.

Thanks for your POV though. It’s always good hearing different opinions on things💜

#jungkook #jimin #jikook

[gay-questions]

Hey I am struggling with feeling aro or bi. The problem is I don't know the difference of platonic and romantic. I was wondering if you had advice.

I would advise just watching yourself when you have a crush. try really questioning it deeply and seeing just exactly how you feel. you may also be another type of aromantic or asexual, I personally would browse options and looking into things that match how you feel. if you want examples or more advice I'm here for you! hope this helped!

#lgbtq #lgbtqia #pride #advice #lgbtq community #information #lgbt #queer #aroace #aromantic #asexual #bisexual

[holybibly]

hi!! i’m a writer myself and despite having mdni on my blog, i still get a lot of minors trying to with my work. i regularly have to check my followers for ages in their bio and i’ve even had minors come in my inbox telling me that i’m ’overreacting’ for not wanting them to read my writing. it’s gotten to the point where i’ve just turned off anon altogether, partially because of the weird people in my inbox and partially so i know i can be safe and not respond to minors by accident.

i guess what i’m trying to get at here is even though you have mdni on your blog, how can you be sure that the people in your inbox aren’t minors. there’s nothing physically stopping them from coming on your blog and sending sexual asks and you seem to facilitate these asks by responding in an equally sexual manner. i hope i’m not coming across as rude, but i just don’t see how you can be sure that you’re not engaging with minors when you respond to anons in a flirtatious and sexual way. if you somehow do check their ages, great! but since they’re anon, i don’t really see how that’s possible…

So, hello. Well, the wording of the question is rather crude to begin with, don't you think? And frankly, I'd prefer to take such questions to DM posts, but if you want to talk, you're welcome. 

First of all, don't you think it's a bit unfair? Accusing anonymous people and then asking a question anonymously? I don't think it's very nice, or do you think I'm going to declare a witch hunt and go on a bashing spree? That's so stupid. Or do you just not like me? Because that's what it sounds like. In general, I don't mind you having an opinion, but by sending a message like that, you knew I'd respond to it. 

Secondly, I know this is going to sound awful and you can totally throw a bunch of shitty comments and posts at me, but let's be honest, even if we check the age of our subscribers and readers every time they subscribe to us, when they ask us questions, comment, reblog, etc., where is the 100% guarantee that those people didn't lie about their age when they created their blog on Tumblr? 

Go to any porn site; age verification is just a tick in the box. These are the horrible realities we face every day. The internet is a place where it is very difficult to verify anything, and unfortunately, there are consequences.

I am in no way supporting the sexualization of minors, and I am certainly not engaging in depravity, although you make it sound that way. 

But I do know that there are many people who can't talk openly about their desires, sexual or otherwise; people who doubt their sexuality and self-acceptance; people who are judged for being different; people who are shamed for being too feminine or masculine; for having problems with daddy or mommy; or simply for being too quiet and shy. Not all of us are going to come out for manifestos and parades. 

And in this case, the only option for them is anonymity. I repeat, I do not support the sexualization of minors in any way, and if you want to accuse me of encouraging such things, I suggest you look at some of the profiles of authors on AO3 who openly use sex scenes with minors and even children in the text of their work. 

I don't know your social circle as a writer, and since you're asking this anonymously, I can't even check your work, but I think the problem is not whether I answer anonymous questions or not, but whether I talk to my bunnies at all. Every time I get messages like this, I think about it. You call me weird, angry, triggering, and now a lecher. Not directly, but the context is clear. 

I've never written messages like that to anyone; you know, it's not nice. I've never intended to offend or hurt anyone with my replies or FFs. But apparently everyone around me, for some strange reason, thinks I'm some source of universal evil while trying to retrain me and change my character and disposition. 

I really hope you are happy with what you are doing. 

Bunnies, I'm sorry. There will be no updates for a while. 

#bunny questions #sugar and sin

[creativitysparks4everxoxo]

IT'S TIME TO DISCUSS TFE S2A!!!

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SPOILERS...OBVIOUSLY...

First of all, despite what some TFE fans have said, I gotta say, S2A has heavily exceeded my expectations! I was nervous because it did not get marketed enough (wtf Paramount+??!!) and because of the early rumours regarding certain things happening. But I thoroughly enjoyed most of the episodes (even the trailer filler episode). It really felt like I was watching S1A all over again. I found S2A refreshing and wholesome.

Here is a scattered list of some of the many moments/things that stood out to me...

AHHH! MO'S BRAIDS! Gah! I love them so much! I absolutely love her new hairstyle in season 2. Okay spacebuns! 🥰 Our little sweetie has grown up a bit and her new hairstyle looks so nice! I really like the attention to detail on her braids, her edges and baby hairs. You can tell that the character designers actually did their research on black hairstyles, and I really appreciate that because so many shows get it so wrong and they are just downright disrespectful.

SHOCKWAVE'S HESITATION!!!! HE HAD A CLEAR SHOT AND HE WAS GOING TO ATTACK, but then he just...didn't.

I was wondering how the weird tension between Shockwave, the Terrans and Malto Kids would be resolved. In S1C we see Shockwave working with the Terrans and Malto Kids to help take down Croft and her army. But you can tell that this was mainly because they shared a common enemy and because the season was ending.

But now even with Shockwave working under Starscream's command, he still hesitated and just let Twitch and Robby pass. He had the element of surprise, he watched them steal the shards and he could have easily ambushed them. He just...didn't. I am hoping that this gets explored further in the season and we get more of Shockwave.

BREAKDOWN CALLING AFTERMATH 'SON'!!! 🥺🥺🥺 And calling him kid!!! 🥺🥺🥺 I don't know, this is just so adorable to me. Regardless of the faction, clearly all the Cybertronians view the Terrans as children. Even though I found Aftermath to be very irritating, I thought it was really sweet how fast Breakdown tried to protect him and how he had grown to care for him. That fake father/son montage and the 'son' bomb took me out. I was laughing so hard. 🤣

I kid you not, I had to pause the episode because I was laughing so hard! I could not breathe! 🤣 It was so sudden! It was so smooth! Alex was READY! You know he's been waiting for the day that he can finally reveal his Magical Boy uniform! I love it! Everyone's reaction was perfect! Megatron was so done with Alex. 🤣

✨️ALEX MALTO'S MAGICAL BOY TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE!!!✨️

And Nightshade giving their father a boost after Alex struggled to climb up the wall during the race is just so wholesome! 🥺 I'm so glad we got to see more of Alex interacting with his children in this batch of episodes. He gave so much enthusiastic, concerned, loving dad energy in this batch of episodes, it was beautiful.

TWITCH VS SPITFIRE!!!

That was so intense! It was really cool seeing them fight and use their different abilities against each other. Seeing Twitch get competitive with her basically evil twin sister was fun to watch. Twitch's competive nature really came out because THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!!! Loll despite how hard Twitch had to fight, she definitely proved to Spitfire and to herself that she is the 'better drone'. I found it interesting that instead of Robby being the one to point out that Twitch is really Spitfire, it was actually Wheeljack. It was nice that he used his Dad 2 nickname to confirm his suspicions. He's clearly taken a liking to it. ☺️But I'm glad that Robby had his moment to determine which Twitch is the real Twitch.

Swindle interacting with a human and not trying to squish the human??? Yeah, I was shocked when I watched 'Control Alt Delete' and saw Swindle interacting with Fairmaestro. But then seeing Swindle basically try to swindle Fairmaestro was the perfect 'Aha!' moment.

I really like TFE's version of Cosmos, and I wish he had more than one appearance in this batch of episodes! He just disappeared after his debut episode, but I wanted more of him! His design is very nice too. He is a perfect round boi. But how the heck did he get captured by Fairmaestro? How long was he under his control? If he joined the Autobots after the Maltos rescued him, why wasn't he in any other episodes with the other Autobots? 🤔 But also, I love the way he handled Fairmaestro and dumped his ass in the dunk tank. Since Fairmaestro easily escaped Jon's custody, I wonder if we'll see more of him.

Starscream as the main antagonist. Hmmm. I gotta say, while it's refreshing that we finally got a new main villain, it's also disappointing that it ended up being Starscream. Starscream caused so much chaos in S2A and sure, it's Starscream. What do you expect? He's always been untrustworthy, violent and unpredictable. But really? Did he seriously have to go back to being the villain after he had a bonding moment with Hashtag? After he worked with the Malto family because he realized that there are much larger threats out there. I'm assuming that he had to fuck up shit in the beginning of season 2 to make way for a serious redemption arc later on. I assume an even bigger threat will enter the scene soon. I sure hope so, because Screamy hit an all time low when he brutally took out the Chaos Terrans. That was just...wow. 😨

Dot Malto being the 'villain' and spraying her kids with the hose during the competition was hilarious. We love a good badass mom moment. 🤭

Contrary to what some people have said, I actually don't mind the Malto Kids at all, or their new power upgrades. They've dealt with so much shit in S1, so it only makes sense that they will eventually get some upgrades and powers to help protect themselves. They act like how kids their age would act irl, so of course they're going to have their annoying, problematic moments where they get themselves into a lot of trouble. The only difference is, they have a lot more sense and they acknowledge when it's time to stop and get serious. Even though it's really obvious that TFE is marketed towards kids, I like that it puts emphasis on family, teamwork, and it has its fair share of cheesy moments. It's very reminiscent of TFA.

I really enjoyed Hashtag and Mo's bonding episode. Even though Robby and Mo have a strong connection to Twitch and Thrash because they are the first Terrans that were born, it's nice to see the Malto Kids interact with their other Terran siblings as well. We almost always see Mo with Thrash or Robby with Twitch, so to see different dynamics among the Terrans and their human siblings is refreshing. And yessss! Hashtag calling Mo her little big sister and Mo calling Hashtag her big little sister is just too great!

Hashtag's new alt mode is so shiny! I love it! It's a nice upgrade, and I like her new root mode design too. I thought it was interesting that she got a new virtual assistant with her systems upgrade.

Cyber-syncing!!! I feel like it was only a matter of time before it was introduced. Something tells me that we're going to have more moments when cyber-syncing will be needed to take down a foe. It was an interesting addition to the Terrans and Malto Kids' existing abilities. I wonder if we'll see more cyber-syncing combos, like maybe a Hashtag/Nightshade/Robby/Mo combo. Or a Jawbreaker/Twitch/Robby/Mo combo. Or just more cyber-syncing in general. I did find Jawbreaker's sync with Aftermath to be very forced and unnecessary. I get that he felt left out in that episode, but it just feels like it was so unnecessary to the plot and it just felt like bad comedy relief.

Overall, I actually really enjoyed S2A. There were only a few episodes and moments that I found meh, but for the most part it was a good watch and it's about to be on repeat while I patiently wait for Transformers One and S2B to come out.

#spoilers #transformers earthspark spoilers #tfe s2a spoilers #tfe season 2 #transformers #transformers earthspark #transformers: earthspark #tfe #maccadam #maccadams

[mistress-light]

I'm currently reading: Strengths Finder 2.0. I'm not far into yet, but the first pages were so.... good to read? And true? The fact that most of us spend so much time working on the things we don't excel in? At school or work, instead of spending more time on the things we are good at and becoming even better at that.

#I soooo needed to read that because it is so true in my case #i was never good at math #and what did elementary school wanted me to do? #focus so much bloody time on math #while i could have become a better artist #or any other skill i was good at #but also the other skills @ work #i cannot stand unexpected shit things #i am a very structured person #so i want to put that to good work #fuck spending more time on managing a toxic hectic work environment #i am really hoping to just try to look at things differently #find something that really suits me #and even if my next job isn't it i'll be one step closer #here are some positive vibes that i wanted to share #mistress blabbling

[corrodedcoughin]

just had the very slow realisation that the majority of people ive met in daily life don’t have online friendships or communities and just got quite sad about it. idk, I just love you guys and being a part of online spaces that are so collectively in a headspace that reality is altered

#like??? not having insights from people who live on different land masses that you’ll never meet and probably never know what they #look like?? what do you do with your day??? where do you put your silly little ideas???? where do you get your joy??? #I’ve got past fandom friends that I still text! we all do our own thing but it’s lovely and fun and I just???? #can’t imagine not doing stuff like this? idk! I’m just being silly and trying to distracts myself from the Horrors #the horrors (threatening) not the horrors (music band) I’m sure they are fine people…maybe? who knows! not me! #hope you all have a good weekend! #I’m in a music rut and don’t know if I should stay in old stuff or try modern? I think modern but I don’t know who #also ALSO! inbox I see you and I am drafting responses I promise #this is really just nonsense sorry friends

[boxwinebaddie]

an uncle nina check in <3

hi team! thanks for sticking around! i know my blog isn't always the most exciting and enriching place in the world in terms of content, but i am very /content/ to have you all here. <3333

i promise, oddly enough, i have A TON of inspiration and ideas for all my weird styles ( if you're curious about anything please lmk! i've been trying to flesh out my aus out lately ), i've just been in a major bummer depression era lately, so it's hard for me to get my asks done and i'm having a hard time committing to finishing my writing. :<

i think it's because of stress and my bipolar, but i am trying to get back on the horse! ( are we all laughing at the idea of me trying to get on a horse? i'd start crying help city girl fail moment for me ) yeehaw!

and while, unfortunately due to the instability ( fabulous legendary iconery ) of my pretty girl popstar personality, i do not know whether i will be answering almost no questions or one million, regardless of that, i just wanted to let you know, i'm still here, still kicking my feet, twirling my hair, cooking...i'm just really trying not to force myself to put out anything i don't like...and only do what makes me truly happy.

however, nothing, my dear sweet e-darlings...

makes me happier than coming home to all of you. <333

so thank you for flooding even the darkest corners of my life with bright light, supporting my phantom fics and being wonderful,

uncle nina xx

#nina speaks #hi my loves #idk what the point of this was #i just know my blog is really inconsistent and i know i dont really post anything or anything that useful #but i wanted you to know that i love you very much and i still care a lot about all of you and all my content actually #which i have been fleshing out in notebooks and google docs i've been doing lots of world building and character study #so feel free to ask me something challenging about any part of my nina sp auniverse that interests u itll make my brain work #i've also been taking very silly but dilligent notes abt what ravesey style looks like for ter so if u want to laff at those u can #i just love taking notes on detail and understanding exactly what characters look like or what settings appear like idk #might be some experimental writing on here i like doing different mediums like i was being silly #and started writing a netflix trailer for rm haha i also have been doing weird personality tests and questionnaires #i've been trying to think very deeply about tkak and my tfbw styles if u have any questions there and am deep plotting rm #trying to be impactful while also keeping things fun and learning to enjoy myself again i suppose #so again thakn u for being here sorry its weird on here but thank u for supporting me as i learn and grow my sunshines #also ik i have a ton of asks and uve already asked me so many things so never feel inclined to message me #but i love hearing what ur curious about hopefully i can answer some stuff eventually but again im on a break #i'm here but i'm not this is a safe place we try and fail we have fun and promote style world domination thru my weird styles #ilysm i'm shutting up now i promise i'm still here i'm just trying to be healthy and happy esp rn when i am not emotionally well #gotta protect my peace and my vibe palace but im still here! #MWAH MWAH MWAAAAAH #really trying to heal my inner child or like the girl in me that liked to write silly stories and create crazy things #weird hcs big dramatic plots silly stuff...i want to honor that girl because she was happy and free and had fun #and i want to do that again so lets have fun guys #no judgement no seriousness just good vibes and good reads #welcome to the uncle nina learns to laugh again arc #i hope you enjoy it

[crescentfool]

doing things outside of your usual is such a humbling experience...

#lizzy speaks #to those who are curious what prompted this: my friend and i are collaborating on a video essay together #we picked it back up a week and a half ago after it laid in limbo for a month or two #and we're currently in the phase of editing it together (scripting + recording the VO is done) #and MAN. my respect for people who work on scripted/informative content just shot up through the ROOF #most of my experience with editing comes from footage first and then edit down approach (rather than creating/gathering visuals to uplift- #a written script) and it's. well. they engage with very different skillsets i think #my friend who i am collaborating with is very amused at me because this is not her first rodeo. meanwhile me as a first-timer. #i am telling her about how i am losing my mind over my editing timeline having gaps of footage because i couldn't think of anything to put #for certain portions (or i just didnt feel like looking through preexisting footage on the internet and dl-ing it) #and she compared it to 'telling a kid whos going thru puberty that its normal' EKLHFGLHH #im ngl the way i have spent like maybe 10 hours today off and on looking up footage and fact checking the splat artbook is so. explodes #it makes sifting through an 11 hour batch of footage of me playing big run sound like a cakewalk in comparison LMAOO #anyway if you read this far thank you :D i hope that in 2024 i can continue to be humbled in trying new things #and i highly encourage others 2 do so too! try a new method of approaching something or do smthn slightly adjacent to what you do! #tis a good learning experience and also makes u very appreciative of the things that are out there methinks #im literally only editing an 11 minute segment or so idfk how people make those 1+ hr video essays LIKE HELLO??? ESP IF ITS LICENSED MEDIA #HOW DO U GET ALL THE FOOTAGE FOR THAT. U MUST BE REALLY HYPERFIXATED AND DEDICATED TO THAT. DAMN. anyway. have a good 2023 everyone!

[celecaster]

I wish I had a job cleaning up dead bodies because it feels like the only job I might fidn tolerable long-term. No need to do much thinking, minimal socialising and I'm not spooked by dead bodies so it wouldn't weight down on me.

#d #I'm doing this thing again where I'm posting but I can't get myself to look at the dash #I'm really antsy over other people #I always am but more than usual #I feel like even though my circumstances are better now than before #I feel worse than I've ever been #I can neither move on from the few relationships I botched and the lack of 'subtitute' worsens things #I just feel a different form of suicidal #Neither antsy and impulsive nor passive in the background #It feels like an active looming suicidality but one of resignation #A verh definite feeling of wanting to give up because nothing's going to improve #I cannot make the people I look up to even recognise I exist #And I have nothing going on for myself in isolaion #I just can't think of a reason to live and nobody's giving me any or answering my questions and pleas #It's like my frantic resentment is just a small sort of gloominess #One where it's difficult to resist the impulse for dying because it makes no meaningful difference #My life isn't valuable to the people I like so it's evident it makes no difference when I die #I've become too weak to sustain myself so I'm dependent on people who ignore me no matter how directly I try to ask for them to help #And I feel sick that I still feel like people think my problem is just that I'm too stubborn to 'ask for help' #As if there's anything subtle about how I feel and what I want #It may simply be pointless to ask and I disappoint myself by holding hope for anything #What a loathsome existence... years of effort to find I have never done anything meaningful or good is haunting me forever #At the very least I would die with a little more contentment if I could feel like my existence and actions were valuable #Not in the half-hearted 'everyone is intrinsically valuable' way #I want merit for something I chose to put effort in #Not because I want 'merit' alone but because I want the choice itself to matter #Because it just feels too much like it doesn't matter what I choose because everything I do is pointless and ineffectual #Knowing an action I did had the desired consequence makes me feel like there is still a 'point' to actively choosing and doing and changing #But because nothing comes out of my attempts despite the amount of effort suicide does not merely feel 'simple' #It feels inevitable in the way that the sun must always set at night

[thevegetablewhichnoonedaresname]

.

#pickle pontificates #girl help is the lilyorcharddungeonmeshi video gonna be what finally drives me to make a video essay now that school's over #or am i just gonna watch it and rant to my sister and then forget about it as usual #OR am i gonna decide to be normal and not watch things i know are gonna make me mad #i barely know anything about The Discourse surrounding her and i do not care #i just know i saw the steven universe video and another one awhile back and i kept watching because i was hoping in good faith #that there would be A Point #but there never was #it's just a really weird anger and vitriol and attempt to justify not liking something by arguing that it's bad #and a stubborn insistence on analyzing the separate parts of a thing without even attempting to see whether there's anything #in how the parts fit together. like that's media analysis 101. you see what's there. you see how it fits together. you interpret it #you turn it around and play with the interpretations #you try to figure out what the author was trying to convey and then you look at what you got out of it and what others got out of it #you acknowledge that stuff can be good and you can still hate it. or you acknowledge that stuff can be bad and you can still like it #and you acknowledge that sometimes stuff is just neutral and may have different effects on different people #not just ''raaaaaagh this character did bad things and is therefore bad and irredeemable and there is no other option'' #newsflash babe. most characters are like that #and like. i acknowledge that there may be ragebait at play here #but i do like engaging with weirdo opinions sometimes because it gives me a chance to articulate my own feelings and investigate why #i feel that way #but i do have to be careful to make sure i'm not just getting off on being mad and falling down the hole for no reason so. we'll see #edit: i remember what it was now it was the writing tips video #it's the weird black and white there's only one way to do art and i'm right about it all the time attitude

[conshirtoe]

List of things I try every chance I get and still don’t like them:

1. Hummus

2. Alcohol

#I really really want to like hummus #it looks so tasty #but for some god damn reason my taste buds loath it:( #I’m hoping one day something will happen and I’ll like it #still waiting for that to happen #alcohol is a different story #I basically just try it to appease whoever I’m around #no matter what’s done to the alcohol I can still basically only taste that #I’ll get the flavoring on the first sip and be okay #but then every other swig I take it’s just straight alcohol with a teeny tiny hint of flavor in the aftertaste #awful experience #I’ve barely been tipsy before just because I can’t stand to drink barely any #makes me feel shitty too #like sure I’ll ‘try’ it and I’ll pretend it’s fine #but I really hate it #lord am I trying with these but I know it’ll just never work out:( #does the alcohol thing happen with anyone else? have never met another soul with this problem #talkin talkin

[unproduciblesmackdown]

as "let's see if will roland's birthday prompts any billions production clues from posts castmates may make about it" continues to yield "no one's posting about it, while some castmates post about other people's birthdays," already having more thoughts abt [i'm sure he'll show up in at least one episode even if only to be written out] type things like:

a) would be insulting if winston is fired to serve a subplot about philip and taylor having some difficulty in finding their footing re: working together as coheads, like, we're good at anticassandraing things and have gone "lol what if philip & taylor disagreed abt quants in that philip preferred winston. which he feasibly could," so what if instead it's philip arguing that winston should be fired to streamline things or because everyone who's not taylor will want him gone b/c they dislike him, and in learning how to successfully work together, taylor's like well alright. like, don't pit these elements against each other the insult is instead just Anyone, higher ups or lower downs, wanting winston gone b/c they dislike him, so he's fired

b) winston getting bullied by anyone or everyone is seen as him distracting them &/or provoking it with his presence, so he's fired winston being friends w/tuk is seen as a bad influence of loserdom on the latter (or distraction, or annoying, or w/e) so he's fired some Problem that needs solving or otherwise some need to fire Some people that really doesn't have much to do with him gets him fired anyways. like 5x05 all over again, isn't it always. or even if he's particularly involved in some problem you know it'd be something other people could get away with just fine. see:

c) what's even "a problem" like that despite everyone being in a hostile workplace, winston is especially, and we're so graced with dollar bill back on the premises who has already harassed and threatened and assaulted him (not only limiting the lattermost to something like "did he hit you, and like, closed fist, and i mean pretty hard. well that's just what he's like, you're fine." or the way like sabotaging a toilet is just epic pranks and only a problem if something looks bad to theoretical investors and we should talk about what tmc people might be doing to deserve it) while rian has been holding down the fort bullying and using winston. perfectly in line with everything if this kind of thing prompting any hostility in turn is like, nobody blinks at the other stuff, wherein if anything everyone keeps trying to fix dollar bill's feelings for him and talk about how who he's being awful to needs to appease him asap, and rian simply Wanting to use winston as a chew toy is just taken in stride while separately people have already been motivated by theoretically looking out for her / supporting her in various ways as well. whereas if winston Acts like he regards her as a hostile party, which she is, rather than seeming to operate in good faith that they can have regular constructive basic respect interactions, which he does while those decent interactions seem to come through rarely and unreliably, then i'm sure he'd be seen as mean / starting shit / out of line / etc, especially when it seems him Disrespecting the Rules & Social Hierarchy that should disallow him from like, speaking unless it's to self-flagellate, means people see him as aggressive or whatever. basically the classic scenario like, kid's bullied at school, they're supposed to just ignore it or it's otherwise "not that bad" / stuff gotten away with, even if supposedly it's like well just tell an authority figure here, that won't/doesn't work, any resulting obvious tension/dislike between the kid and whoever is like "uh oh, a Both Sides problem" at best, same if there's a physical fight or something or else it's like well That was unacceptable and if it was initiated by Your reaction to all other kinds of terrible treatment for however long, you're the problem. not that i expect winston to throw a punch about it, but, figuratively / parallel to this scenario

d) winston is sick of his deluxe hostile environment, doesn't actually like whatever coheading changes, sick of rian and/or dollar bill specifically, and/or doesn't appreciate some other goings-on, like one that results in him even being threatened with firing, and gets to just quit as has regularly seemed like something he might want to do anyways since 4x11 and intermittently on

e) not really another Way to imagine they kick him out but was thinking how like, Is a reason we're shown that taylor and rian hugging in the middle of an office was seen by i guess winston alone gonna be further relevant at all and about him making anything of it, which, he really couldn't possibly be wrong about any inferences. but going :/ at the taylor and rian dynamic just as a spontaneous, contained event would be self-explanatory too. but had the thought of like, maybe it's all "well taylor's been here 5 seasons and is in a more prominent position than last season, throw a PR problem at them for the first time for real, just as a shakeup / something that throws them off" wherein like winston wouldn't even have to be there to be cited in something like yeah i was fired or quit or whatever else and my former boss is dating an employee i think. or seems to have a real personal preference for them if not personal somethingship. which is true lmfao like? even if winston ""wrongly"" assumes they're dating like "oh sorry these claims are ridiculous, i only proposed as much to this employee who i already was informally mentoring and do favor such that she was promoted offscreen after like half a season to be able to make trades and this only came up when her using that capacity to do some shit she could've been fired for had me like 'but i'll take the heat for it' b/c any feeling that i'd wanna fire you is worth working through as a personal problem, and that employee turned me down not only just b/c apparently dating through work is too much (but not hooking up through work) but because she's afraid of how much she could love me, and now we're further personal somethings or who even knows what's ever been going on and so who can say if we were supposed to have fully closed the door on dating or not, even." wherein like....someone then doing further research consulting with every named tmc employee, in this hypothetical (and ignoring any hypothetical new, named/dialogued hires) scenario all now Former employees except rian who clearly won't have been firedor quit at the start of season 7, b/c yknow god forbid lmao....like, oh i'm taylor's best friend so no comment except that when i'm mad at them i'll apparently say that i always thought they inhumanly don't have feelings and all, very helpful. then there's like, oh yeah i was taylor's employee and dated them until business misalignments lead to a less than ideal breakup, and then kind of an aftershock of that for fun i guess. and then yeah i was also taylor's employee and knew they were dating another employee and i disapproved if only b/c i told them it could look bad but then also one of the reasons leading up to my quitting was having difficulty getting in touch with them while the other employee lived with them at least part of the time and i didn't seem to be a fan of that bonus access re: discussing business getting in the way of the formal structure / chain of command or whatever at work as well which is part of what i was already there to file a complaint over, so....even just the "it does look bad / people do think you leverage status for access to sex through employees" like no but that's My boss though. but also just that yeah taylor has at least tried to date employees twice, and their personal preference does affect professional matters, though that's also just like, pick any place of work and any slice of it, may not be a meritocracy after all versus how much it matters that some people are popular and/or liked by the right people while others can be recognized as Good Employees on paper but be left where they are or antagonized by peers or higher ups b/c of "failing" at the popularity contest aspect. and this could just be some new Kind of problem for taylor, and/or their just having to question themself more. or else go "ugh leave it to winston" and shrug it off once whatever's smoothed over.

f) winston isn't fully written off but rather it's something zany like, the twist is dollar bill coming back (god forbid he didn't either) while mafee, who evidently sees taylor outside work despite it all, is like eh we'll get dinners sometimes too, and does not likewise return despite saying he's the one who'd consider it. winston, being fired, or having quit, or just being unhappy w/things enough to consider it, is like well you're kind of regular at me sometimes and can't yell at me abt loyalty to taylor if neither of us work for them and you have weird confusing ideas about how they should be loyal to you if anything, and i can do the work of 50 phds, and i know you don't know shit abt the math and quanting but if you just leave it up to me entirely, that's pretty much been my work experience thus far anyways. then he'd be filming on different sets, possibly more rarely, and also dan soder has been likewise elusive but is also on site on the two even vaguely or implicitly [s7 production] related pics will's turned up in.

g) idk billions feel free to prank us where once again between seasons we worry winston could be written off but then he isn't, but elusivity paired with suddenly now castmates w/no mention of him for [march 5th] and [we are doing any bday acknowledgments] overlaps that otherwise get posts, especially. weird even if he Was written out in ep one but okay then

#winston billions #maybe he'd feel petty after being disposed of; maybe someone's doing really specific investigative journalism lol.... #although also the idea that lauren's known one ep return last season was like. will This be an unfriendly ex gf/employee using insider info #and if winston were to be fired or quit; no matter the specific reason behind that it's like. how would he have only the fondest memories #he's been here for taylor & i imagine it can be inferred he hopes his Skills being valued are a shot at also being valued as a person #but if it seems like he was only ever begrudgingly kept around & given that [useful tool] status while other employees got more personal & #preferential treatment; which like everyone save sara kinda but she at least got to have substantial & frequent enough exchanges w/taylor #while here's a quant peer he even likes & does keep trying to be amicable with but she also regards & treats him as usable & disposable #while taylor at least ignores & allows this while v much preferring & Would Be dating this employee like. probably could be pissed abt that #and just to go off the shits lol like oh Petty Ex Employee behavior But....add in tayston fwb history lmaooo Like. oof #with some end of s3 into s4 timeline especially like where maybe winston wants a personal somethingship w/them as well but instead the #whole fwbship (& any undiscussed / not directly acknowledged somethingship along with it) was dropped when taylor dated lauren #like yes add in nonzero petty ex something as well lol. or Wish i could be a petty ex but got burned by the implication that like #no taylor doesn't not date employees as a rule nor even seem to worry abt it much personally; On Paper especially re propositioning rian #but also combining [dated lauren] and [dated oscar] stats it's like yeah they Ought to consider winston a romantic candidate as well lol #he Does get [autistic character] different negative / diminishing treatment all round from all elements so like. grievances lol #and of course taylor could choose to be petty ex employer/something as well like great so we're fighting now #and if winston's sharing the other trivia he's not sharing His personal history w/them. and taylor could threaten to but isn't gonna share #that b/c it'd make them look worse too (i am aware of the gfy proximity at this point yes lmfao girl help) but Can throw it in his face #can go after knowing he had that personal somethingship with them; the closest gfy esque thing here would be if taylor was also a bit too #clueless like well that is just hypocritical of you to take issue w/it Or take advantage of it when it suits you....w/o realizing that #element of like yeah i'm jealous actually?? remember when you dumped me to date someone else when [why didn't you date Me].... #or be Aware like well you're jealous actually. and winston can be like Yeah? I Am? lmao. we both know why we're fighting.... #impossible to tell if taylor didn't infer winston might like rian or else just ignored it but they could throw that at him too #i don't really imagine winston still Likes rian crushwise by the end of s6 for sure but. might also be annoyed they even get an affinity #like man don't worry their dynamic really isn't convincingly that good or enjoyable b/w them....missing out on what. #then the most gfy similar thing to do would be like don't take it out on me just b/c nobody would wanna date you #a move that could range from [merely laughably stock pettiness] to [surprisingly genuinely cutting] depending on specific execution ig #anyways whether he's still filming or not; if any cast members were to remember will exists & give us Any info w/acknowledgments we might #expect based on precedent. that it's Axe; Dollar Bill; and Rian who are most firmly established as [will be present] via ppl's posts. Great

[rosecrowned]

margaery when she heard renly and loras were scheming to get her to court so robert would become infatuated with her and replace cersei with her

#♡ about. ⊱ ❝ 𝘌𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘴. ❞ #I think this is like . . . the one scheme of theirs that she wasn't really a willing participant in lmao #like I'm sorry boys but that was SUCH a fucking stupid play to try to make. and not one I see marg attempting on her own volition. #it would have done a lot to give renly and loras more sway but would have done jack shit for marg personally and she would recognize that #the sad thing is I don't think she would have refused to do it altogether but it definitely wasn't the same prospect to her #as trying to marry joffrey or tommen #like yes marg wanted power she wanted to be THE queen but it's just Different under those circumstances #unsettling implications aside #with joffrey or tommen she felt she could have power over them at the very least #which is what put her into competition with cersei bc cersei wanted to keep that control over her sons #robert was much older and already married and she wouldn't have any power over him. cersei didn't and she's cersei fucking lannister. #and plus being seen as a 'mistress' first would have been bad for her reputation and we know how important her reputation is to her #and on top of all of that what is the fucking point??? if robert was almost guaranteed to die when she's still young???? #then she'd just have to marry joffrey anyway if she had any hope to remain queen #but that would be almost impossible given the circumstances of her being previously married to his 'father' #also the irony of them planning this because they think she looks like lyanna and that will be enough to entice robert isn't lost on me #if they succeeded they would have just been damning her to the same fate lyanna had tried to run from #anyway the whole situation is just Nasty and I am shaking renly and loras by their well-conditioned hair #it's scary its gross it's ironic and sad

[fragmentedblade]

I've been reading about xiangqi a bit and now I'm even more obsessed with that one video of Jing Yuan

#Obsessed with the fact they made a point of him not leaving the palace #Anyway I was rewatching this because I still find very amusing that you can see when he steals that piece from the board #Which is something that makes I think more sense considering the ways in which you can check and win in this game #It seems pretty fun actually I think I'll try. Maybe with this being different this time I'll be able to convince someone to play with me #No one wants to indulge me when it comes to chess and I don't like playing online #Hmm actually this game seems less unpleasant to play non physically based on aesthetics #With chess I always have to take out a physical board and it's sort of annoying. The pocket chess I carry around is not much better #Yes I think I'll give xiangqi a try. And look for good books about it and its evolution. I hope I find something #It's always so hard to find things worth reading about topics like these. Like with fencing. Still unsure about what I got about that #After rewatching the video again I have half a mind to make gifs to keep track of his moves. I just really find it very amusing #I love how the move and what is happening in the rest of the video work with what we see him do in the actual game #Personality wise yes but strategically #I think I actually rambled about this in a post a few days ago? Oh wait that was in my main blog I think #I don't know why I make sideblogs if I end up reblogging the posts in the main after all. I always do the same thing #I'll stop now but oh I am really so so fond of him. I think I could talk for hours haha #I talk too much #Jing Yuan #Right now it doesn't seem to appear in the general tag for me but I'll check in a bit again #I really don't know how to organise my rambles anymore with this feature #I miss the five tags thing #Now no matter how much I talk it seems the general tag will always find my posts