#i am not of that world nor this one

[uncanny-tranny]

The absolute biggest thing I've learned as a trans guy: there is nothing more masculine and manly than not caring about looking or acting masculine or manly. Growing your masculinity or manhood takes time and care - you have no obligation to let the world water your garden when you can do that just fine (and you can, even if it doesn't feel like you can!)

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #nonbinary #trans advice #got a stereotypically 'feminine/woman' piercing and. i feel like a man *inverted shania twain riff from man! i feel like a woman* #nothing affirms my manhood more than not caring about the genuinely toxic imaginings that the world has about manhood and men like me 👍 #yes it can be a struggle ESPECIALLY if you're somebody who actively has to defend your masculinity/manhood... #...it's hard for me too sometimes. i had to not only build my manhood but jealously defend it from the 'phobes... #...but i am all the better for it because this is MINE. i have never truly owned something in this way... #...i don't own other people nor my cats nor even my material possessions - not in the way i own my manhood... #...i own it like a tiger owns his territory and i defend it similarly... #...i do not WANT to own my loved ones or possessions the same as i own my manhood and masculinity. this is special to me #my manhood was *made* for me to be owned anyway. i feel that applies to every trans person who hasn't felt able to own themselves #this is in the same vein as learning to cast aside the cissexist views of bodies&experiences that can make dysphoria worae

[mishiami]

ok but what if they were in high school

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #nakahara chuuya #chuuya nakahara #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #never know which way to put it so they get both. congrats. #soukoku #skk #fan art #yk i havent thought of nor seen a twin pole ice block thing in my goddamn life #and yet. here i am. with a vision that came to me in a dream #also my brother slandered me because one half of the ice blocks is always bigger than the other so sorry to the world

[tacogoats]

Thinking about a Durge who has rejected Bhaal, and whatever person they used to be, but still secretly longs for their lost memories. A Durge that, despite the answers the man could give them, would never re-ignite that strange passion they were shown they once had for Gortash. A Durge that has, for all purposes to the others in their party, moved on. A Durge that, six months after that day atop the Netherbrain, at a party celebrating their new life, receives a strange letter with an even stranger gadget hidden inside.

The meeting at the inauguration was a strange one. Despite Gortash's very obvious elation at seeing what he'd called his 'dearest friend', the man had no hesitation very proudly detailing the Dark Urge's grand scheme; their grand design for the world to be.

In front of all their friends and 'new' lover, of course.

They were furious, and rightly so. Gortash must have known what he was doing. To isolate them, to bring them back to him. The person who accepted them for all they were, all they are, and all they could be - together.

It wasn't enough to win the Dark Urge back to him, and although they'd tentatively teamed up in the end - he had died. Not by the Urge's hand, but in some ways, his own. The group had left Gortash's body within the Prism, and simply moved on. There were bigger problems, and no one really was sad to see him go. Right?

The Urge remembers a letter found in Moonrise Towers. Gortash liked gadgets, according to Ketheric. Evidence was abundant enough with the Steel Watchers, among other things. The item is strangely shaped, entirely too small, and with a simple touch, comes to life.

It reminds them of the strange picture they had seen at the Iron Throne. Gortash's visage shone through a glass, moving, talking - warning them to leave. Answering them, praising them for listening.

What a strange contraption, they'd thought all those months ago.

And then, now, there he was again. A picture, in their hand. A moving picture. Speaking with his voice, wearing his weary face - so, so weary - but not the same as before.

This had passed already. The voice did not answer them this time. It was simply impossible - the man was dead, but not quite gone in this moment.

He speaks of the inauguration like it had just happened. His joy at seeing his favourite 'assassin' again, which he says with a sad smile and a moment of silence. A heavy sigh follows, rubbing at his eyes - which they can see are so much darker than they last remember.

He is tired.

Gortash speaks of their time together, before Orin - and how Orin torments him day and night now that they had both confirmed the Urge's return. She appears with their face, taunting him some days. Other days she sends assassins that wear the same, and he simply cannot let his guard down anymore. But he knew it was them that day.

They can see the exhaustion that pulls down his features, makes his words heavier. This is not the Archduke speaking to him in this moment - it is a tired, broken down man that has just seen a ghost.

Yet they cling to every word anyway, because even though this is a broken down man who is terrified of the ghost - the man still hopes the ghost will remember him, too.

They don't. But he doesn't know that, not this little picture of him, anyway.

The picture says that if they are seeing this recording, it means he is already dead - and although he had planned to sway them back to his side, he may not have been given the chance, and refuses to allow the opportunity to share what the two of them once had slip away.

He would gift unto them the memories that he could, even beyond death. The bloody ones, the happy ones, the painful ones.

And he talks, he smiles, he even cries.

And so do they.

#durgetash #dark urge x gortash #i dont usually write gushy things but i am trying to write fic of this i need to yell a bit #this has been sitting in my drafts i release it to the world now #dont look at me im cringe #i just think that my own dark urge would always long for their memories despite withers's warnings and #knows that gortash is the only person who could give it to them and selfishly sides with him because of it #and when gortash dies he knows all is lost. and accepts it. he has a new life now. its okay. (its not okay) #and when they see that funky lil thing in the letter They Know. They KNOW it's from That man #and there's a moment of hesitation as those words from withers flash in their mind again but nope fuck it. selfishness wins. #and even though the man was a monster - they were once eachother's monsters and - there are his answers. some of them anyway. #and he can finally let go of that : ) #i dont have a writing tag nor do i want one rn this is a rarity for me #bg3 epilogue spoilers #minor spoilers but still

[noxious-fennec]

Alright. I want you all made perfectly aware that I have completely cut support for Wilbur soot and any associated projects. I find his "apology" to be disingenuous and trashy damage control, and it undermines whatever desire he has to improve, however genuine that is.

I 100% support Shelby and any victim of such disgusting behaviour, i commend them for their courage, and I wish them nothing but prosperity, support, and happiness. I will always value their peace over whatever art he made. I'll find other fucking art.

#wilbur situation #i have been distant from mcyt for the past few months because of the current state of the world. yk. 5 genocides/wars going on #but i have built a home here primarily around him and i have to clarify #i wont be deleting old work however i doubt I'll ever make anything new. thats not a moral judgement of others just for my personal peace #i dont like hindsight moral highground bullshit nor all men are trash sentiment btw it undermines the message we should be taking here #nor the idea that a bad person is an undying title. but given the way hes brokn the trust of multiple loved ones #and used his platform as leverage to do so. i am firm in the belief he should not have a platform as it is detrimental to everyone's safety #to clarify i stopped the moment i heard Shelby's story; i was still processing + real life + focus on current global events #but today i felt that i owe ppl a disclaimer given how ive built my presence on him. regrettably

[moeblob]

What Deacon thinks: what did that mean? did he want me to wear a collar too? why else would he mention my neck? i mean, if he /asked/ me i would wear one but he didn't so would wearing one be weird?

What Ymber meant: It's nice to be near someone who isn't tethered to this world to serve it with a physical reminder for all to see.

#my characters #this just in ! thats why all the deities in the plot have collars and a chain ! #its because THATS THEIR DESIGNATED I AM HERE TO HELP THIS WORLD SYMBOL #they cant remove their collars and thats fine by them - its a constant reminder that they exist to serve #deacon really shouldnt get as much crap as he gets in canon for being weird cause the deities are just a different brand of weird #like its not deacons fault that apparently you can say nice neck with no underlying desire #but he cant say hi would you please possess me i want to know what its like to have someone else in my body #like thats really not something you should pin on deacon YET EVERY deity is like wow what a lil weirdo #he also just really wants to please ymber so if ymber asked he would definitely do whatever #on the flip side i need to point out that deacon very specifically doesnt ask ymber for things nor does he pray for things #and it drives ymber up a wall because this is his favorite human who wont ask for anything and he isnt a psychic #he doesnt know what deacon wants or needs and its infuriating cause he exists to serve humanity #and yet this ONE GUY wont let him do things for him #this is very important and i cant believe i mentioned it like a month ago to someone and today #i received gift art of these two and i may never recover #its so perfect and its ymber just looming over deacon telling him that he can pray about anything to him #its also worth pointing out that when i was telling the person about the whole ymber begging for a prayer #its because he realizes that after all this time hes never had a single prayer from deacon - not before nor after the hire #so hes like oh well thats odd hmm #and then begins to talk to deacon like you know people pray to me for lots of things #and deacon looks at him unsure of what this is leading to - did someone offer a weird prayer? ask a weird thing? whatst? #and no - its just ymber saying that people will pray for wealth or an item #or they will express frustration if something is lost or broken despite it not being ymbers fault so deacon just stares #he has no idea what this is going to end on really so he points out 'well you do like to think you break people' #and ymber just ASDFASDFSADF STOP OK NEXT POINT people pray to me to bless relationships with happiness #and thats fascinating so deacon is like wow can you actually do that? #and ymber is so stressed as hes like i mean kinda i can simply amplify the positive emotions in gestures #like if someone gives an item out of love then its blessed #he also admits that he cant mask insincerity or malice so those feelings are not hidden nor amplified #and deacon just is impressed bc that is actually VERY cool

[tleeaves]

The art is lovely and now I'm gonna ramble because that's what I do when I care about something.

For the love of women, please PLEASE can fan artists remember to add muscle to their Shadowhunter ladies? I'll commend Bowater for cleverly giving James that sculpted and lean look without making him a beefcake (nothing against beefcakes, I'd love to hug them), but Cordelia is once again suffering from Arms And Shoulders Too Slender It's Hard To Even Imagine Her Picking Up A Sword. There is some there, yes, but artists shouldn't be afraid of giving particularly Female Main Characters weight and toned muscle. Cordelia is supposed to be nearly the same height as James as far as I can remember, and she's curvy, and full, and she wields a sword like it's second nature to her. Please explain why she looks so tiny in James' lap.

Also I'm pretty sure marriage runes are supposed to go over the heart whenever possible (thinking about Will's parabatai rune being over his heart instead -- he didn't get Tessa to draw over the scar, did he??) and... either I'm looking at the picture wrong or James' rune is not over where his heart should be.

For the matter, where are their other runes and scars?? James' Voyance rune isn't even on his hand. And I'm pretty sure he's right handed. I could have that wrong though.

Another thing: no one can ever decide what Cordelia's hair looks like and it's the funniest thing to me. This is what happens when all you do is vaguely say the colour is like fire but also like rose petals but also a flowing river of those things but also is Red (probably for redhead, but then from there I never understand where the rose petal analogy comes from considering the typical rose is a deep bloody colour -- I do acknowledge the existence of those light orange varieties though which might more closely resemble red hair). In the end, I'm glad readers can infer what they want and imagine the characters how they like.

Anyone else think James looks like he's built like a tennis player? Oddly specific, maybe, but it was a thought I had. Mostly the arms and somewhat narrow body.

James' hair is nice, his eyes are an interesting take on gold in the shadows. Bowater managed to also make him look closely related to his father, so bravo for that.

In the end, the focus is obviously on the marriage runes and not other physical aspects outside of it being clear that this is James and Cordelia. Bowater's style is very beautiful and elegant. Love the way fabric and lighting is done too. I'll add also that it is possible to be a smaller person who is slender but still strong so I mean Cordelia's not necessarily done wrong, I just interpret her appearance differently. Obviously, they're both hot and they're both attractive and I have my qualms with the series, chronicles, and author -- the fandom I am so-so on, though I'm still here, aren't I? And I'm taking the time to ramble about my thoughts on a piece of fanart -- but this is good. Gorgeous, even. Both James and Cordelia are beautiful.

#side note: am I the only one who thought cc made a mistake trying to describe james as handsome in cordelia's eyes #as opposed to matthew being the beautiful one #when there has always been a deep and aching strange beauty to james?? #james herondale #cordelia carstairs #vaguely crediting charlie bowater though it isn't like you can't find a dozen more copies of this with the credit #also yes I mercilessly picked this apart because I am still trying to find avenues to express my dissatisfaction with tlh #I search for flaws what else can I say #I am aware of it but it's hard to turn those thoughts processes off #maybe I'll write a post at some point all about the authors I once Loved that I am now deeply critical of #a lot of people would hate me for it but eh #also we all know about the marvelisation of cinema #but is it time to talk about the marvelisation of book series/worlds? #or perhaps it has a better and more book-focused name? the jkr approach? rick riordan's marvel-esque flaw? the sjm plague? the clare affair? #we'll workshop it #maybe it's the curse of middleschool-YA series and the issue of aginh readers in fandoms #and I don't mean this as discriminatory against anyone older in fandom because there is not really a limit nor should there be #for most media #but the issue of when the readers grow up amd authors try to accomodate for that -- not necessarily by making their work more adult -- #but by making MORE because there is also an influx of new fans and they want to stay relevant while retaining the old #it's a whole thing though I'd need to sit down to properly organise my thoughts to talk about it

[thosewildcharms]

The dreaded echelon briefing 😔 What was your interpretation of Michonne keeping her gaze steady on Rick when Jadis was spouting her propaganda and trying to make him feel selfish? It seemed like after the emotional work she and Rick did last episode she wanted to makes sure he stayed strong. Not gonna lie I’m so worried about Rick in the last episode (I’m fairly certain Michonne’s safe); “this world is broken, YOU build it back up” “things usually go to shit when people try to save the world in their own way” “til my last breath I’m yours” and the correlation of Rick’s childhood story about the burning crops and possibly burning the CRM to the ground. I know if it were up to Andy and Danai, Rick and Michonne would make it home to their babies. So much death and tragedy in the apocalypse can they please just let us have this 🥲

the dreaded echelon briefing. i don't know what it could possibly be but i know it's gotta be BAD bad.

rewatching that scene with rick, michonne and jadis, i like your interpretation because i think michonne is quite frankly always steadying rick lol but i also think something else was going on there. to me, the hard work in 1x04, as you aptly put it, was forcing rick to admit that he knows that going back to the CRM to keep their family safe is bullshit and just a self defense mechanism for his own trauma. so i don't think michonne is particularly worried about rick wavering at this point - she knows he's fine with killing jadis and going home, they just need the file first. rather, i think hearing jadis mention the "true size and scope of what the CRM is going to do to bring this world back" made michonne in particular realize right then and there that escaping the CRM wasn't enough, that they would have to stop them from doing whatever it is the echelon briefing is outlining. when jadis is talking, they both seem to realize she's hoping they'll leave not just to protect their childrean and alexandria from the CRM, but to protect the CRM from them. michonne held rick's gaze because a) they were coming to the same conclusion at the same time and b) she was silently communicating with him that what she was about to say ("this can't end with us going home") had a different meaning so he needed to follow her lead and play along.

as for being worried about rick. well.

i'll be the first to say that i'm terrible at making plot predictions lol i'm literally just here to watch my favorite people make out. but! i think you are right, that the show is clearly setting up some sort of big sacrifice for the greater good. it's been a constant theme since episode one, and i think the obvious conclusion to that would to be for rick (or michonne) to make the difficult decision to sacrifice themselves or each other for the greater good - if we are to take this foreshadowing at face value. BUT. the show is also very insistently trying to get us to draw comparisons between okafor/thorne/jadis and rick and michonne and giving us the constant refrain that while separately rick and michonne are vulnerable, together they can do anything. i think we are supposed to connect that while okafor, thorne, and jadis gave up not only their loved ones but their own sense of self to commit to the mission (whatever that mission may be for each of them), rick and michonne by contrast are not going to do that. rick, as i've said previously, already metaphorically killed himself for okafor's mission only for michonne to bring him back to life. why retread that? so, when i'm in a hopeful mood, i like to think that all of these red flags we're seeing are going to lead so some sort of fake out only for rick and michonne to figure out how to survive this and get home, while also protecting the world from the CRM. it's just that they may have to make a morally questionable choice, or some other sort of sacrifice, to do so. my best guess is that they might need to mass-kill all of those soldiers at the summit that's happening.

but, i do get it. i'm worried in general, not necessarily because of what's actually happening onscreen but because i've been burned so many times before that The Anxiety will not let my brain do anything other than assume the worst as a self-defense mechanism lol. that's just me personally trying to temper my own expectations though. my fear is actually the complete opposite of yours - i think AMC would keep rick and michonne alive indefinitely as they are clearly some of the biggest cash cows they have. my worry is that i think if andy (or danai) felt very strongly that their character should die or just wanted to be done with the franchise once and for all, that choice would be respected and honored. on the other hand, they have clearly demonstrated with these first five episodes that they are dedicated to giving their fans exactly what they want. and while i suppose episodes 4 and 5 in particular could be seen as a swan song before a tragic end, i don't think either one of them is stupid enough to think fans would be satisfied with losing either of these characters at this point. if rick dying was always the endgame, why not just kill him on the bridge in the first place? what would be the point of all of this? it wouldn't make any sense and it would be incredibly awful writing. michonne dying is simply so inconceivable to me i can't even contemplate it. still, anything can happen and i try to be prepared for that so i'll just say that should either rick or michonne die i'm sure danai and andy would do it justice and make it meaningful and respectful. i'm saying this through gritted teeth btw.

#richonne #the ones who live #twd #am i capable of answering an ask without writing a novel the world may never know #answered #just to reiterate re: that last paragraph #that's just MY anxiety brain doom spiraling and coming up with worst-case scenarios bc it doesn't know how to NOT do that #definitely not saying i have any evidence that andy OR danai have expressed such things nor am i trying to put words in their mouths #like this is very much a ME problem lmdasfsdkla

[just-an-enby-lemon]

Going into the Bruce Wayne adopts a random fictional orphan famous AUs: Bruce Wayne becames the legal guardian of the Baudelaire childrem. Now Count Olaf can try to murder trick and steal TWO whole fortunes.

Imagine Klaus in the Wayne Massion library and discussing books with Jason and having conversations over feeling missplaced and not yet belonging to the Waynes even tho he fits with Duke and bonding with Barbara over her time as a librarian

Violet helping Lucius Fox invent equipament for Batman and bonding with Dick over their shared eldest daugther sindrome and working in the cars with Jason and Bruce and bomding with Tim because Tim totaly would not fall for Olaf's bs.

Sunny cooking with Alfred and being a menance with Damian and learning to talk with Cassandra and Bruce finally having the toddler experience and being besties with Stephanie who will see sassy powerfull baby and become automatically the cool older sister.

All while Count Olaf and Esme Squalor bond with the Rogues Gallery. And even fied with some of them.

Olaf discussing arson with Firefly and trying to outdrama Riddler and bounding with Deadstroke over the fact everyone forgets about their weird comentaries involving a fourteen years old.

Esme exanching date advices with Harley and doing make-up with Joker and bullying Jonathan because he dresses like a poor person.

All while Lemony(the only person that can maybe take Bruce's place over being the most paranoic human being ever) fails in finally meeting the Baudelaires because he keeps getting lost in Gotham because he is a trouble magnet and everything there is trouble.

Also Alfred sassing Mr. Poe. Everyone's dream.

For my personal preferences let Batman take the place of the Vilage of Fowl Devotees: that would mean that we still have Duncan and Isadora, we already have Esme and Jacques may not die. Absolute perfection.

#batman #asoue #bruce wayne #the baudelaire orphans #klaus baudelaire #violet baudelaire #sunny baudelaire #count olaf #esme squalor #lemony snicket #batfam #batkids #batman rogues gallery #no but bruce the world greatest detective looking at one of olaf's disguises and being yeah totaly not count olaf is objectivally funny #on the reverse count olaf sees matches malone and has no idea that is bruce wayne but he somehow knows that bruce is batman #I am batman says bruce #and the baudelaires are super relieved because he is not part of any cult nor working for count olaf #they are already very traumatized wich makes them perfect for batkids candidacy #srlys how is batman adopting the baudelaires not a famous au yet #they are traumatized orphans with no powers but an amazing super human skill set they are right up his alley #and he is a secretive weird and emo jewish dad who has an ongoning theme and runs strong with it wich is also very up the baudelaires area

[agentrouka-blog]

It's been a busy couple of months and my brain feels depleted of anything but that unsightly fizzy bubbling you get when you pour vinegar over baking soda.

Pretty sure it's temporary and I can return to obsessing over fandom things shortly once everything has calmed down a little.

If not, I had a good run on this blog.

RIP, Rouka Brain, newly smooth, wrinkle-free and squishy-pink

#i am being a drama queen because i have to take care of the kids on my own this week and it is Not Helping with the general exhaustion #nor is my delinquent son <3 i love being the first parent to get called into a parent-teacher conference #'Your honor it's because he keeps forgetting to eat his snacks and it makes him irrational and cranky. I plead insanity!' #'This is not a court room. Please remind him to behave and eat.' #'YOU remind him to behave and eat!!' #'... i see.' #and lawnmower assassin flattened my strawberries again #and there is rain and less sunlight #and the world is a mess and i am excessively baking to distract myself from doomscrolling #no one needs this many cookies #but here i go making them anyway #wah wah wah #rouka life

[longagoitwastuesday]

.

#Well #Today's my birthday to my utmost dismay #I never wanted or expected to live this long‚ and I can't say I have not tried to avoid it‚ #but I guess I'm not very good at dying as I am not very good at living and here I am #Anyway... I wish for nonexistence with the longing one has for a longlasting life-encompassing unrequited love #I've disliked birthdays since I was a very little kid #I think it was in my third or fourth birthday when I hid in the closet because I didn't want to blow out the candels and make it official #Not that the world or life aren't enchanting in some ways (the reflection on a wall of light falling over water) #but generally speaking they're really not my taste at all #And I wish one could opt out of it as one opts out of going to a party they really don't want to attend nor would enjoy #Without tragedies or complaints or the label of being mad or unable to make choices #I don't know... #I talk too much #I should probably delete this later

[asliceofzosan]

its so dumb that its only up to water 7 on netflix and then it jumps straight to the egghead arc like ??? wHERES THE REST OF IT

#also crunchyroll doesnt have pre-timeskip #and a lot #from my country #so i am constantly in a world of suffering #one piece #IN CASE ANYONE WONDERS ITS PROBAVLY BC I LIVE IN THE PH SO A LOT ISNT AVAILABLE AND I CANT AFFORD A VPN NOR CAN FIND A GOOD FREE ONE

[look-thereslightening]

Lowkey shitpost...

Reason number 86568966 why it sucks if Genos has really bought the farm: No more of that pretty face...

#one punch man #genos #opm #ONE #fr tho his face is so beautiful #i am genuinely upset at the idea Murata never draws him again #i cant imagine nor do i want a world where i dont get new lovely renditions of this face #i am a lesbian but if genos were real id make multiple exceptions

[soldier-poet-king]

Reminders to self bc if I don't I'll be ruminating in misplaced guilt all afternoon

I am allowed to be annoyed over ultimately inconsequential things! Just because everything TO ME is intimately connected to the very fabric of the universe and the human soul because I'm Ill TM doesn't mean it is for everyone! And related, I am allowed to have opinions! I can make opinions in a joke post format and nothing bad is going to happen! I'm not being mean or cruel or sinning! I am simply! Having an opinion! Disagreement isn't inherently evil!!!

#franposting #anyway can u tell i grew up not allowed to have opinions #for fear of setting off the very tenuously kept atmosphere of the house #and anytime anyone was upset it was my fault and now im conflict avoidant #IM WORKING ON IT #it may seem silly. but i gotta write this lil reminder to myself #having it out in (internet) public makes it feel real to my brain #and therefore i can set it aside. turn of my phone for now. and continue with my day #the world isnt ending because i dared to have an opinion. nor is it ending bc i got annoyed easily even if i didnt do anything mean #no one is going to die because of my thoughts. thought crime about poetry isnt real. me @ me #ironically. this was abt misrepresenting themes of love and misplaced guilt and shame and loving oneself #and it then caused me to experience misplaced guilt! i am queen of guilt! #perhaps the ocd is why it means The Most To Me #but i am setting it aside to love and smile and also do my job #and i will sing on the drive home. and all will be well and all will be reconciled at the end of all things #oh. oh isnt that the loveliest comfort ive ever said

[justinefrischmanngf]

it’s not that it makes me sad per se but i really could’ve been dating someone i did actually kind of really want to date since JULY. and now the moment is literally so far gone and i didn’t realise until the moment was so far gone !!!

#like it actually doesnt make me sad because there wouldve been major complications Had we dated #and the person who i trust most in this world has told me theyre glad it didnt happen #and i think in the long run he’s not the First person i should date anyway like in an ideal world we’d date like. 2-3 years on from now when #i’d been in at least one relationship to work out how i operate in a relationship #but it’s also like i wish i had known that the opportunity was there and i wish i had taken it #and part of me goes well maybe in 2-3 years it COULD happen #but i think that does a disservice to the person he’s dating now like . i do hope they’re happy and it goes well for the both of them #AND ALSO ITS WEIRD AS FUCK TO BE LIKE OH WELL MAYBE IN A FEW YEARS ILL DATE THIS PERSON *AFTER* another person?????? #like bitch who do you think u are that you’ll have managed to date ANYONE in that time and also why the fuck would u date someone without #hoping it would last???????? #but thoughts ≠ action nor are they inherently moralistic #but also that’s a weird way 2 think about relationships #it’d be funny if it happened though #idk i just think that if the timing was different he and i could have so much fun dating like genuinely i think it’d be a really good time #but it’s really weird because i’m not pining away after him or anything like ik it sounds like i am #but it’s not like that it’s more just that it’s opened up all these thoughts that i hadn’t really thought possible before ? #and they’re not possible NOW bc he’s dating someone else so i’m in exactly the same position but idk #i think i’m getting too settled. i’m TOO SETTLED. #because it’s literally not normal to think oh maybe in three years we could date and it’d be better timing for both of us ??????????? #unhinged behaviour. what the fuck is that. #it’d be fucking hilarious if it happened tho

[dominicsorel]

Imagine thinking a series about love (not friendship which is only one form of love but love in general) that has an entire world filled with stars showing different types of love and Axel saying there are no levels to love means that if romantic love was made explicit in Kingdom Hearts, it’d be showing that romantic love is “higher” than platonic love as if it hasn’t already made it absolutely clear that’s not the case at all. I am so tired of people acting like romantic love isn’t just as important as platonic love and vice versa. It gets far too close to acting like there ARE levels to love or just plain ole homophobia.

#didi speaks #text #no ones saying you have to like romance but acting like it’s the end of the world isn’t it #it wouldn’t negate anything platonic in the series nor any messages #sorry for getting mad over this i am but this is a consistent thought process that irks me

[doctorwhoisadhd]

there's a certain quality the harmonies of like... early to mid 2000s alt rock has. which i am obsessed with... like i wanna do that. i NEED to figure out how to write harmonies that sound like that

#ari opinion hour #i sort of understand it but not necessarily well enough to do it on command #i think i sort of achieved the sound of it with my blaseball winter exchange song i did for snow but specifically only in the very last bit #like only with the 'im not alive anymore' part #(which sidenote i wish id had the second half faster + w more drive but its not like that was like a full recording which i could do) #i think i just need my music to have more teeth in general cause it scratches an itch that i think i must have developed due to some aspect #of music school. its probably my dissatisfaction with the attitudes in the classical world #<- which understand i say that in the same way that like my jazz prof does. the classical world doesnt have enough teeth nor enough #understanding of the way in which music is like. another art. and art needs to be able to have teeth and use elements normally regarded as #''undesirable'' on purpose because art is there to make you feel emotions and not just the positive ones and not just sadness or anger in #terms of the negative ones #art is there to make u feel ALL extant emotions and that includes boredom disgust fear jealousy pity cowardice apathy overwhelmedness etc #also the classical world i find often forgets what the word ''play'' means #i am of the opinion that perfection is a waste of time if i wanted perfect i'd ask a computer to do it for me. i want real #anyway. i forgot what this post was even about lol point is i need to figure out how to write harmonies that have that soaring quality that #like. you can hear it in like helena by mcr and wake me up by evanescence and stuff. and frankly most of the songs on three cheers for swee #revenge which i am listening to now for the first time. i need to learn more about this stuff maybe ill listen to the evanescence album tha #song is from next. #or something i should really be working on my essay but theres no way i wont have it done in time which is good i think i just mostly have #to worry about sources and stuff but even that should be relatively easy i think