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a-d-nox · 2 months

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pac/pap: message from your secret admirer

take what resonates leave what doesn't - nothing is 100% for you because these aren't personalized so please no angry comments or dms about what i am saying not being a good fit for you or that you "don't claim" just keep scrolling if that is the case. be kind, self reflect, and have fun.

last pac/pap: message from your past lover/crush

want a personal reading? click here to check out my reading options and prices!

pile 1

they lack self-confidence to get close to you - they might even not trust themselves around you. they might fear acting up or looking foolish around you. they are very apprehensive about taking action and you not accepting them as they are.

they find your personality very sexy. it's like they enjoy when someone takes charge - you don't mind taking up space and making your presence known and they adore that. your ambition, drive, and authoritative personality is addicting to them.

of course, they find you attractive - they worry that you don't find them attractive... they think that you won't take a chance on them and that you might not be open to a relationship/date with them because of how they look.

you are supportive. maybe you supported them or encouraged them in some way, or maybe they have seen how you interact with the people you care about. they can tell that you are a genuine person.

its wild; i feel like this person has a very active imagination. they might dream of marrying you or what being married to you would be like. they like the idea of walking with you on their arm. i feel like they wonder if they wait long enough and linger in the background that perhaps you will make the first move. they really like you. they think about the timing very often - they believe that you are the one for them. they really hope that you feel the same and are attracted to them. this is beyond lust for you - they love you.

pile 2

this is going to be a by chance meeting - you aren't going to run into each other everyday. you'll have a very positive few days with this person then it will be one of those things where it's like do you or don't you. perhaps this will be a "the one that got away" moment.

i feel like the connection is moving too quick for there to be much visibility into whether or not they even know much about you. so this connection has to make its own hold pattern - slow down a learn a bit more about each other. if someone peaks your interest, ask for their number.

i feel like you are out of your element with this connection. you don't see your beauty like they see it. you probably don't think they are attracted to you. you just need some confidence - trust that you are beautiful and make your move; stop waiting for masculine energies to make the first move.

they see that you lack confidence despite you being pretty and deserving attention. you are careful about what you do and what you say - this intrigues them. they are so curious about what you would say/do if you had the confidence to do so.

i feel like, unfortunately, no one will make a move in this situation. so you will keep to yourselves and spend time in solitude. stop thinking about what could have been and make it happen. you don't have to be unhappy with your present circumstances. start making a shift in your beliefs. you can put an end to your feelings of loneliness; you just have to change your mindset - abundance awaits you.

pile 3

they doubt themselves around you. i feel like you are rather close to them in their day-to-day life, but they don't think they can gain your attention. they tried - believe me, they have, but they just don't feel they are getting anywhere like they hoped they would.

they have been getting to know you for quite a bit of time. they love how passionate you are about the world around you. they also enjoy that you are building something for yourself.

you are very lovely to them. you are just at the beginning as your beauty journey too - you are going to continue to blossom and bloom.

you hold back which intrigues them. you can resist what others indulge in, which attracts their interest. you celebrate the small wins in very minimal ways, which they adore.

something is changing in the near future. you have to accept this connection as it is - i feel like you guys could be great for one another in the romantic sense, so why not try it? you can build a future together. this person wants to help you to grow in new and exciting ways. pay attention to subtle hints and messages from those around you. communication, fresh perspectives, and opportunities are ahead of you.

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tarotwithavi · 10 months

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How your existence makes this world a better place ♡

Piles: 1~2~3

How to choose a pile?

Take a deep breath and close your eyes. Kindly ask your spirit guides to show you the right pile for yourself and then open your eyes. Whichever pile catches your attention is the right pile for you.

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Pile 1

Pile 1 you see the hope in hopeless people and situations and that's an awesome thing. You know when to let go of someone and when to fight for them. Though you are very compassionate you will never let people take advantage of you. And the way you are with kids is just freaking awesome. Most of you may think that kids don't love you or kids get scared of you but trust me the kids who are even a little bit close to you see you as their role model. They want to be like you when they grow up and you might notice some kids or even people copying your style or the way you act. Pile 1 you have achieved a lot but you have never let that success get to you. You have stayed humble even when most would swell up with ego. You know how to handle situations. The message I am specifically picking up on is from your parents, they might not show it but they are really grateful to have a child like you. Your ancestors are proud of you for being strong enough to stop the toxic cycle going on in your bloodline. That ancestral healing needs some guts of steel my pile 1. You don't recognise how special you are and how humble you are. It's okay to be proud of yourself , you may think that I am exaggerating but trust me if I could I would give you all my stationary (coming from a Virgo rising to show how genuine I am) . Those who get you , get you ; those who don't, don't and they don't need to.

Pile 2

Pile 2 you don't realize how extremely gorgeous you are. Your beauty makes this world a better place. You're so beautiful spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally. You're not afraid to give your all to the people you love. you show love by buying things for your loved ones don't ya. I love how you don't need people to validate your beauty. Honestly pile 2 you're so beautiful it's like the moon and stars came together to form an existence as beautiful as you. Let me describe how you feel to people; you feel like the smell of soil after it rains, you feel like winter sunlight, you feel like the favorite song you keep repeating just because it's so good. You're the hope for people who feel left out in the cold. I don't know if you're doing nursing or not but you definitely give off a caring and nurturing vibe. You celebrate your success with people but bear loss alone. You're there for them in their best times as well as worst. You love so much unconditionally. You don't see the difference in people. You always try to find the best in people. You're so lovely pile 2 OMG. I feel like you guys would be the best healers. You're always ready to help others. The word to describe you would be LOVE. You have so much love to give. You don't hold hate in your body. It's like no matter what happens you'll run out of love and love is the highest frequency and emotional.

Pile 3

Your knowledge, your wisdom about life makes this world a better place. It's like you're not afraid to leave your empire behind to build a new one from nothing because you have got the confidence. You know what you're capable of and you know your worth. You won't settle for less and there is something about being a higher achiever. I am hearing "Higher achiever don't you see baby nothing come for free" I forgot the name of the song. You're here to make a change for the better. You are here to change the old customs of your family. You're a pro at leaving old things behind. You don't get attracted to people and things easily and that helps you a lot. Some of you may feel like you're a sociopath at how fast you move on from people, trust me pile 3 that's a blessing. The faster you move on the better it is for you. You won't let people hold you back from getting what you desire for. Nothing can come between you and your goal. You are a role model to a lot of people, especially your friends. You inspire them to fight for their goals. You have lost a lot of things to achieve your goals, but in the end it's all worth it for you. If you don't have a goal then that's alright, if you feel happy and content you don't have to have a goal. The journey is more important than the destination.

#tarot reading #tarot cards #free readings #free tarot #pick a card #tarot #pick a pile #tarotblr #pick a picture #pick a photo #pick a deck #psychic readings #intuitive readings #oracle reading #tarotwithavi #tarot witch

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brightgoat · 1 year

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I watched all of JJBA

My thoughts on it, no major spoilers:

FIRST OF ALL: If I were to recommend it to someone, I would say watch the parts in the order of: 3, 1, 2 (although 2 is largely irrelevant), 4, 5, 6. By all logic, I should hate this anime. It goes almost completely against my taste in fiction.

Continued under cut

Watching this anime is like getting waterboarded, occasionally a genuinely good moment will come where I am allowed to take a breath, but before i even register it some bullshit happens and I am dunked back in.

However, while getting waterboarded, I’m in a desert, i see the fucking stardust crusaders in the back, this is the only water source so while i cant breathe i am glad to have access to it.

Then finally, a particular moment comes, and i start drinking all the water, until theres nothing left and i finally breathe, and that particular moment is when father Pucci appears on screen, an essay on why he’s the best character coming hopefully never.

Watching this is like being forced to bash my head against a wall at gunpoint, and then being happy that my blood made a cool pattern on the wall. None of the characters act like real people. Time and space does not exist. Inconsistencies are everywhere.

Set ups and no pay off. Pay offs withOUT setups?? The characters describe their every action so honestly you could watch this with forks in your eyes and still know whats happening, except you won’t know from the intense mindfuckery that takes place.

But overall I had a great time. Amazing soundtrack, loved the OPs, I love the char designs and I love art that isn’t afraid to be weird and unapologetic in its weirdness, it’s insanely creative and the humour can be great, some moments genuinely had me hyped and my eyes wide

I loved how in a lot of episodes it focuses more on the antags, making you root for them (though thats often cuz the protags are annoying-)

My fav part is absolutely Stone Ocean, it has the best protag and antag, best visuals, side characters that I actually gave a shit about unlike most side chars in the prev seasons. Still rooted for the antag though.

My fav Jojo is Jolyne, second is Giorno (but the version of him in my head anyway cuz he had an amazing set up but shitass payoff in my opinion)

Fav side chars are Rohan, Anasui, F.F., Ermes, Bucciarati was alright I guess, I like Trish’s design, Polnareff was entertaining.

Fav villain is hands down Father Pucci, he’s the reason I watched this entire thing, the character who apPEARS IN THE VERY FINAL FUCKING PAR- Dio close behind. Kira was fun as well.

Gonna read Steel Ball Run maybe, because I’m still in the fucking desert and i need water-

#jjba #jojos bizarre adventure #jojo's bizarre adventure #review #jjba review #jjba thoughts #stone ocean #this was posted on my twitter at first but i decided it should be here as well #my thoughts on OVER HEAVEN coming soon

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apollos-olives · 4 months

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If I may ask - and this is a question that is genuine and by no means trying to dehumanize of offend you - but what is it like to be queer and Palestinian? Palestine is a majority muslim country, altho I am aware that that does not mean that you are Muslim or belong to any other religion that Palestinians follow but if you do follow a religion, then what is it like to be queer because again, to my knowledge being queer or rather engaging in non-hetero relationships (i apologize for my wording) is forbidden. So how does it work, if you follow a religion. I'm truly sorry if this is in any way rude but my question comes from wanting to know more and not from a place of malice

i've actually talked about queerness in palestine before and honestly it isn't more or less special than any other country. almost every country in the world is homophobic as well. palestine isn't special with it's homophobia just because it's a majority muslim country. i'd get hatecrimed in the america more than i'd get hatecrimed in palestine, i can tell you that.

i am muslim, and i follow what i think is best for myself. i've studied the qur'an and have looked into queerness in relation to islam from the qur'an directly and yk what i found? nothing. the qur'an never mentions homosexuality. the story of prophet lut 3alayhisalam is the only thing the qur'an even gets close to mentioning about queerness. i'm not going to go into the full story but basically god destroyed an entire village for committing "indecent" acts, which were rape, pedophilia, premarital sex, infidelity, and along with that, the people of the village also were having same sex relationships. it's very explicitly clear that rape, pedophilia, infidelity, and premarital sex is not allowed, since those rules are mentioned in the qur'an more than once, but homosexuality was never even mentioned in the qur'an at all. it's only implied outside of the qur'an through passed down stories that the people of the village were homosexuals, and the islamic community decided to basically discard the rest of the story and focus on homosexuality only, so they translated the story into "god crushed a village of homos bc they were bad ppl so being homo is bad" even though the context and the direct translation of the qur'an never even brings up that the act of homosexuality itself is a sin. god didn't punish those people because they were gay, he punished them because they were commiting horrible sins like rape and pedophilia. they were just having same sex relationships on top of that, which god never directly condemned or even mentioned in the qur'an.

god always has rules for a reason. premarital sex is a sin because you may become diseased, and god wants the best for you so he forbids it. eating pig is a sin because pigs carry diseases and are generally unclean, and god wants you to be clean and to be well so he forbids it. etc. etc. etc. god has rules and reasons for everything because he is fair and just. there is simply no rule about homosexuality being wrong, and also no reasons as to why it would be wrong.

and even with all of that, so what if being gay is wrong? why would god create me this way if he didn't love me and accept me for how HE created me? doesn't god love all his creations? doesn't god love me for being true to myself and loving others as well? i don't think it's wrong, in any sense of the way, to love people. because if there is no harm in it, what's wrong with love?

and one thing i love about islam is that doing one sin only counts as one sin. we believe that certain actions and good deeds can count for many times it's weight. praying 5 times a day counts as many good deeds as praying 50 times a day. reading surah al-ikhlas even once counts as reading 1/3rd of the whole qur'an. our good deeds are magnified, while our bad deeds are only singular. while one good deed may count for 50 of them, one sin will only ever count as one sin. a muslim eating pork one time will only be counted as a single sin. a muslim having premarital sex one time will only be counted as a single sin. and IF homosexuality is a sin?? well. that only counts for one single sin. it's so easy to go to heaven. if you're a good person, you'll make it, even if you're gay or trans or whatever else. it doesn't matter. one sin compared to a mountain of good deeds is not going to affect you. that's why i love islam. god is kind to us like that.

and being trans comes into the equation as well. many muslims are against trans people because they believe it's a sin for a "man" to be effeminate and that it's wrong to change your body bc god created you perfectly. but like... there is literal science proving trans people exist. and the topic of dysphoria proves it even. if trans people are so dysphoric and so mentally harmed by not being able to transition or pass that it affects their mental or physical health, isn't it wrong to forbid them to receive treatment?? and what if the only treatment that works is for them to directly transition? god allows any permanent altercation to the body as long as it's for health reasons, and being trans is most definitely a health reason. god wants us to love ourselves, not harm ourselves. and the people who complain that it's "changing how god created us" make no sense because what if someone was born deformed and wouldn't survive without a surgery that changed their appearance? are you going to just let them die because you don't want them to change their appearance because that's disrespectful to gods creation? no, of course not. being trans is a health related thing and god always wants the best for us, especially when it comes to health and wellbeing.

as for me, i have an uncomfortable relationship with my own queerness. i don't like or use labels, and i don't consider myself part of the lgbtq+ community, because i don't feel welcome there. but i'm still queer. i've had queer relationships before and i'm open to having them again, but i'm just very skeptical of actually being in one. i've kind of resigned myself to a point of "semi-celibacy" where i don't actively seek out relationships nor do i imply that i want one, but IF one day, something happens... well 🤷‍♂️ something happens. i don't think i'll ever get married though, because that'd be a whole other religious story, but as much as i'd like to go out and have relationships, i think my safest option is to be celibate until i've decided for myself later what i want to do. not to punish myself but just so i don't get distracted and stray away from god accidentally.

in the end, being queer as a muslim depends on the specific muslim and how they view their relationship with their queerness and their relationship with god. it's different for everyone and it's only up to a persons own self to decide what is best for them and their religion. i've done research about queerness in islam for myself because i simply could not live with myself if i actually knew that being queer was wrong, and it isn't, so i'm alright now.

muslims aren't horrific with their homophobia, just misguided and misinformed. that doesn't mean i hate them or try to convince every muslim i meet to agree with my views abour queerness, no, because it's only up to the person themselves to decide not to be a bigot. the reality is that most muslims are homophobic and that's it 🤷‍♂️ they may be wrong, but it doesn't mean anything in the end.

we as palestinian muslims need to be given our basic human rights to EXIST before we move onto queer liberation. we must be liberated on a humanitarian level before we are liberated on a queer level. palestine simply hasn't had time for queer liberation because we're too busy fighting to survive. and even then, i do believe it's absolutely justified for palestinians to be anti lgbtq when many lgbtq people are actively calling for our genocide. doesn't mean it's right to be a bigot, but you must understand that if my entire family got massacred in front of my eyes and my entire house got bombed with me inside it, and the people who did it were raising a rainbow flag... well. i would hate whoever stands behind that flag as well. bigoted hatred comes from a place of fear and hurt and misinformation. if palestinians haven't had time to unlearn homophobia, of course they will be misinformed about the queer community and fear it. it's only fair.

this was a wonderful question and i'm glad you were curious to learn more :)

#palestine #free palestine

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mistressoftherant-blog · 11 months

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TMNT Fanfic Complaints

As this blog is mostly a space to vent, and I am currently obsessed with pretty much every iteration of the TMNT, I thought I'd throw together a list of things that make me close a fanfic instantly. If you like any of these things, then that's totally fine, but for the most part, any of these things will have me dropping a fic in minutes. A few of these are aligned with posts I've made in the past, but I am noting them down anyway as this is a way of me getting out a lot of my major complaints at once 😅

No.1 Having all the brothers be abusive (particularly towards Mikey), with bonus points for any crossover that will then have one version of the turtles chastising the others for the way they treat their brothers. It just doesn't work, every set have very specific dynamics, but none of them are abusive.

No. 2 Crossover fics that make it impossible to tell who is who. This can occur in a few different ways. One of which is that the authors completely fail to differentiate different universes, making every single version of the turtles talk and act in the same way. Another is when a fic gets flooded with nicknames/pronouns/usernames, without a decent key. If you have a crossover fic with even just 3 or 4 universes, but every single turtle has multiple sets of pronouns, multiple nicknames, and multiple usernames, you really need a way to make it clear who is who.

No.3 The 'poor baby Blue' phenomenon in which every version of the turtles seemingly forgets all of the horror they have suffered because of what the Rise boys have gone through, particularly Leo. I honestly hate it when I am reading a crossover fic and all of the trauma from every series is disregarded in the face of the Rise Shredder and Rise Krang, which brings me on to my next point...

No.4 Essentially an extension of No.3, but can we all finally drop the idea that the Rise Boys had the scariest villains? Sure, their Shredder and Krang were intense, but for the most part, their villains are all pretty much played for comic relief. Either 03 or 12 had the scariest villains. And before anyone comes at me like 'Oh, Rise Shredder was a demon, the Rise Krang managed to take over the world, etc', may I remind everyone that 03 also had a demon Shredder who took over the world (and multiple others including the one who took over in SAINW), and the 12 Triceratons straight up destroyed the Earth with a black hole?

No.5 Fics that give away traits from one turtle to another e.g. making any of the other turtles better at science/math/tech etc than Donnie. Each of the turtles has their own thing, and Donnie will always be the smartest academics wise. It annoys me to no end when people try and make any if the others, usually Rise Leo or 12 Mikey, out to be a genius like him. I actually once read a fic where Rise Donnie asked Leo to help someone with a chemistry question that he couldn't handle. It's ridiculous, and usually carries over from the headcanon that Rise Leo is the medic (is there genuinely any evidence for this in the show besides Leo having a pouch? Because the only time I can recall anything medical related being brought up was when Donnie mentioned Raph's allergies). I have also seen people talk about Rise Leo loving to dance more than Donnie, even when the show explicitly states on multiple occasions how much Bootyyyshaker9000 loves to dance (also making Leo a massive theatre kid when Donnie breaks into songs and dance numbers on multiple occasions.) Or when 12 fans make Mikey the artist when it is actually Raph.

No. 6 (people will probably be mad at this one) Stop making everything about Leosagi, please! He doesn't even exist in the Rise verse, yet the entire fandom is absolutely swamped with Leosagi content. It's annoying when you are reading a Rise fic, and then out of nowhere it all becomes about Leo's relationship with Usagi. These fics also tend to make Usagi the most bland character in existence, with his two defining traits being samurai and Leo's boyfriend. They even do this to Bayverse!! Or bizarre crossover ships that start taking over everything (Why is Mikey being shipped with pretty much all of the spiderman iterations now??(

No. 7 Any fic that has all of the Donnies despise each other. I don't know if this is bias, but I feel like most of the Donnies would enjoy having people on their level to discussbthings with, people who would respect their boundaries and listen to each other's rants. And before anyone brings up their egos, most of the Donnies are shown to be able to and even enjoy working with others who are around their level (Aprils, Leatherhead in 03, Fugitoids etc). I actually think that, aside from the Mikeys, the Donnies would probably get on the best.

No. 8 One of my biggest pet peeves (that I have complained about before) is acting as if any version of the turtles is far superior to the others in terms of intelligence, fighting skills, etc. The Rise boys do not solo every verse. If they had had more training, then yeah, they would be probably some of the strongest characters. But they haven't had the training of the other verses, and mystic powers cannot compensate for everything (considering the fact that they got absolutely bodied by their Krang, you think more people would realise this). The other iterations pretty much all have more formal training, more experience fighting a variety of opponents (Bayverse and the 90s are perhaps an exception to the greater variety of opponents here, but as Bayverse Raph alone can yeet a shipping container singlehandedly with no powers, I think they're good). In no universe should the Rise boys be giving any of the other characters fighting tips.

I will probably write more of these at some point, this was pretty cathartic 😅 I also promise that I do not hate Rise, I just have more issues with the wider Rise fandom than most of the other shows.

#rottmnt #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2k12 #tmnt donatello #tmnt donnie #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt mikey #tmnt raphael #tmnt 2003 #tmnt leo #tmnt leonardo #tmnt 1987 #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2016 #bayverse donatello #bayverse donnie #tmnt raph #tmnt 90s

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safely-in-vhagars-belly · 6 months

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👑The girl in the silver dress👑New version (Prt 3) (prt 1 here) (Prt 2 here)

Aemond x reader

Tags: Fluffish, royalty, modernroyalty, theselection

Cool devider credits: firefly graphics

🔷Summary: You are invited to become a selected girl for Prince Jacaerys's selection. You never thought you would fall for his uncle, prince Aemond instead.

🔷Author's note: Based on the books by Kiera Cass, but reading them is not required.

🔷Wordcount :3464

🔷Warnings: Non apply

TAGLIST: @connorsui @lportes-22 @thisaccountisrandomsstuff @nikkitc0703 @lijeno

Months have passed since the ball. Yet you still can feel your heart be ripped in two. Aemond has not bothered to come back for you, believing he is somehow doing you a favor by staying away. You wonder if he is doing alright. You should be furious, angry, perhaps take revenge and sleep with other men but….

Part of you knows Aemond too well to even do that. He genuinely believed he did the right thing. The good thing, by leaving and setting you free, so you could become the Queen. But what is a crown over true love? How can you rule over countless people if it is not the man of your dreams by your side, making the horrible choices so worth it, just because you’ll make that choice together? What is the future if you can’t spend it by his side? What is a golden cage if you can live with him in freedom? And why would you care about being Queen, when you could just be the woman he loves?

Tonight, you all will be interviewed by the press, a common occurrence so the people of Westeros will know you a bit better, perhaps you’ll become someone’s favorite.

Your make-up team works on your eyeliner, black with silver small tiny glitters. They put gloss on your lips and put your hair up, so the silver necklace around your neck speaks volumes. Baela is already done with her dress, and has taken time to chat with you about Aemond. She has become a close friend of yours in the past months, together with Dyana. You form an alliance with both, against Floris and even Queen Alicent. ‘’He loved me, he said so in his letter.’’ You tell Baela when she asks if Aemond wasn’t playing a fucked up little game. ‘’I’ve seen the man behind the mask when I am near him, Baela. It can’t have been a act.’’

Floris approaches in her black swan feather dress, glancing down at you with great enjoyment of your misery. ‘’Well, Queen Alicent has already said Aemond won’t be coming back from Dorne anytime soon. So, have fun being depressed and disappointed.’’ Alicent likely told Floris that in confidence but Floris takes any chance to make you feel miserable.

Dyana wears a gorgeous red gown and approaches Floris rapidly. She puts her hands on her hips and you and Baela know Dyana has had it with Floris. ‘’Just like your father was when you came in-'’ You see Baela gasp when Dyana opens her mouth, and the last 15 remaining girls listen with their breaths hold in. But you speak up, forcing her to remain calm, grabbing her hand and dragging her back before she can claw out Dyana’s eye.

‘’Don’t stoop to her level, Dy. She is not worth our anger or energy. She craves attention, so she seeks it.’’ Dy nods, before moving back to her chair. Floris scoffs at you three before she and her minions let the tv crew know they are ready.

After watching the other girls excel with their questions, the same questions time after time, you think you are prepared for whatever they may throw at you. You sit down in the comfortable chair, your legs crossed.

The first question is about your first meeting with the prince. The interviewer smiles, but her eyes tell books. ‘’Everyone knows you are a common-born girl. Do you think the reason you are still here is because of favoritism?’’ You first gawk at her, attacked and offended. Until you see the chance to clap back. And you will.

You speak from your heart but you can’t ignore the sting as if you betray Aemond. ‘’Frankly, I believe Prince Jacaerys is quite taken with me, and his opinion matters more than what a small crowd chooses to say about me.’’

Her eyebrows rise and this time she is the one who lost her tongue, clearly fumbling over cards to find a good other hostile question. ‘’Do you think you would make a good queen? How would someone as commonborn as you even lead the country?’’

A fair jab, but you are done playing fair. You will come at her with everything you got. ‘’I think us commoners know more about the country than the nobility ever will. We are the ants, carrying the crown. I hope to make life better for all civilians of the Seven Kingdoms, not just the commoners or the nobility. I hope to be a ruler. Not a decoration on a shelf.’’

The woman is seething with rage at your composed sweet answers. ‘’That was my final question.’’ You blink innocently and surprised.

‘’Was it? You seem to have forgotten to ask me the questions you asked all the other girls. Perhaps you need a break.’’ You suggest, sweetly. A few chuckles erupt among the selected.

The interviewer is removed by Lady Aemma before getting a firm talking to off screen. You stand up from the chair and sigh deeply. That went as horrible as could be. The only thing that would have made it worse would be questions about Aemond. You saw her cards, they were on there. Yet she kept from asking. Odd. And someone is working on getting you removed, someone very high up.

The next major event is the Halloween masquerade. Only 10 girls remain, including you. Jacaerys has been nothing but kind to you, treating you as a true lady whenever you are around him. Floris and four other girls are now under Alicent’s wing. You used to be jealous that she had selected clear favorites. Yet none of that matters. Jacaerys has only eyes for you.

Prince Jacaerys dances with you, under the great chandelier. All those months practicing with the waltzes and dances have finally paid off as you smoothly follow his movements as if you are two body pieces belonging to one soul.

But alas, despite him having you made his favorite, you remain a pawn in a game. And a game has rules, no matter how unfair. Jacaerys ends the dance with a respectful bow before moving to Lady Baela, a sweet kind girl you’ve come to know very well.

You take a glass of champagne, before sitting down on a chair, lost in thought. You’ve been here for months. You miss Aemond, of course you do.

At some point you lost track of Baela and Jace. They must be getting more champagne. A servant loyal to Jacaerys whispers in your ear that you must come to the library. The prince has a surprise for you.

You enter the library not much later. A masked figure stands with his back to you, a black hood covering his hair. ‘’Jace?’’ You ask, before approaching him. Jace does not answer you, instead he grabs you by your hips and drags your body closer until you both collide. Your chin is grabbed and he kisses you fiercely before exhaling deeply, sniffing the perfume on your skin.

This is improper. You must stop this. Jacaerys and you are not married, this is the selection. This is not fair to the others.

You gasp, as you remove the mask and look into blue eyes, not brown ones. Aemond silently brings his fingers to your lips before slowly bringing his face back to yours. The worst part is, you let him. You welcome him. Your lips find his soft pink lips, gently moving against his lips until the movements become rough as if he is trying to hurt you. ‘’Y/n,’’ he murmurs against your lips, leaving kisses on your skin. ‘’I’m sorry. I honor the traditions, normally. But I can’t stay away from you.’’ He mutters. You kiss his lips again.

But you look into his eyes. ‘’We’ll make our own traditions.’’ You promise him, hot tears running down your cheeks of pure joy. He kisses you again, much slower and softer as if he wants to savor every moment of this. Aemond murmurs against your lips and you become lost in the passion and the love you feel for one another. You tug at his tie but he shakes his head, before leaning in and whispering in your ear. ‘’I don’t want you to become a secret, or a scandal. I will ask my nephew, and my father for permission.’’ He searches in his pocket for a small rock shaped box and opens the lid, before sinking to one knee and grabbing your hand. Lady Aemma enters the room, holding a smartphone so she can film this wonderful moment as tears sting your eyes.

He is proposing. He is asking you to become his wife. ‘’Lady Y/n, queen of my heart, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife, my equal, and may I bring you under my protection?’’ A small ring with gold and a clear sapphire smiles at you, and you see dreams and hopes in Aemond’s eyes.

You smile. You wait for him to stand, and nearly slam the ring out of his hands before you kiss him again. ‘’Yes, yes, a dozens times yes.’’

Aemond grins, picking you up from the ground, spinning you around when kissing you. Lady Aemma makes herself known again, gently clearing her throat, but her eyes are misty with tears. ‘’I’m afraid there is a matter of permission. A royal marriage can only exist with the blessing of the king.’

The king has been feeling ill lately. He has taken to bed and refuses to leave for anyone. Queen Alicent rules in his stead, as a faithful wife would. You and Aemond rush past ladies, princes, nobles and paparazzi, hand in hand, clearly smitten as your feet go as fast as you can go. Paparazzi quickly turn their camera’s to you both, but all they get is a messy blurry picture, that is how fast you both are walking. Finally, you reach the rooms of the king.

Queen Alicent sits by his bedside, faithfully reading him the newspaper. She turns around when she sees you both, and you drop into a curtsy. ‘’What are you both doing here?’’ She asks.

Aemond clears his throat, before sitting down on his father’s bed. ‘’Father, I’m sorry. I know you told me I should always follow duty, and that the crown requires sacrifice.’’ He did? King Viserys avoids your eyes and you understand he was behind Aemond’s sudden departure. You cross your arms over your chest.

‘’I did.’’ The king confesses, a bit grumpy.

Aemond gestures for you to come closer, so you do. He takes hold of your hands. ‘’But my path to duty led me to Y/N. She makes me feel things I never felt before. She is the love of my life, Father. I know you both sent me away to Dorne to forget her, but I know by now: No one will ever compare or come close to her. She is all I ever wanted, and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. If I have to give up my titles, so be it.’’ He declares, firmly.

Viserys coughs, before smiling at you both. ‘’Aemond, come here my boy. I know I've been a horrible father to you and my other children.’’ You look away, not sure you were meant to hear this.

‘’Yes.’’ Aemond says, agreeing without missing a beat.

Viserys looks at you. ‘’But I'm going to ask you this once, my boy. Do you love that girl?’’ Your heart beats faster and faster and you are afraid it might stop.

Aemond looks at you when speaking, nodding. ‘’I feel alive when she is with me. Like everything is possible and she makes me whole in ways I used to be broken.’’ Viserys nods.

‘’Then who am I to deny you both? Go, be happy, my boy. You always have been meant for it.’’ Aemond nods, pretending to not tear up, but even you have teary eyes watching this reunion.

This is nice, but there is one other obstacle. Jacaerys. You belonged to his selection. To go with another man is treason. ‘’Jace, of course, I will ask-’’ Aemond is interrupted as the doors open and Jace himself enters with Lady Aemma close behind.

Jacaerys holds up his hands, silencing Aemond. ‘’You don’t have to, Aemond.’’ He turns to the king before speaking. ’I've seen it for myself, Grandsire. Y/n and Aemond are two parts of one soul. We must not keep them separated. They belong to one another.’’

Alicent looks concerned. ‘’But what will the media say?’’ She is right. They have not been kind to you.

Viserys grins. ‘’They can say whatever they like. Y/n will become Aemond's wife, a princess of house Targaryen. They will learn to mind their tongues over time.’’ You hope so, at least.

Aemond turns to his mother. ‘’Do I have both your blessings? May we marry?’’ He asks, hopeful.

Alicent looks you over, and you wonder how much she secretly hates you. She smiles, before touching her son’s forehead, kissing it. ‘’Your happiness is all that I ever wanted for you, Aemond. Go find it with your wife.’’ And just like that, a nightmare ends and a dream is born. Aemond kisses your lips, not giving a damn about the audience that is present.

The first moment with the press is there, the engagement photoshoot. Of course you are afraid, but Aemond makes it all worth it. He is still a bit stiff when it comes to press and attention but you bring out his true wonderful self. You and Prince Aemond hold hands in front of the castle, as multiple press magazines, news channels and photographers from all over the world take in this wonderful moment.

‘’Prince Aemond! "Please look here!"

‘’Duchess Y/n! Is it true you and Prince Aemond bonded over your love for Dornish architecture?"

‘’Yes. We are big nerds."

‘’O, that was improper of me wasn't it?’’ You mutter as the press eagerly writes things down.

Aemond shrugs before whispering in your ear. ‘’You're doing just fine. We kinda are big nerds.’’

You return the smile, taking hold of his face before kissing him. ‘’The biggest.’’ You declare before kissing him. The flashes go crazy the moment your lips lock, and all photographers shut up, taking millions of pictures.

Aemond breaks the kiss, grinning at the press when you blush lost in the moment. ‘’Prince Aemond, what was your first thought when you saw her lady?"

Aemond thinks back and you see many emotions cross his face. ‘’Why don't good things ever happen to me? And it's ironic because…she would become the best thing In my life.’’

One photographer clearly adores that and makes a little strangled ‘’awh’’ sound, causing their colleague to smack them lightly on the arm. ‘’What? They are adorable!’’ He declares, simply before returning to making photos.

You glance at Aemond. ‘’I am simply speaking my truth.’’ He says as if he’s defending himself.

You grin. ‘’Hmhm.’’

An interviewer of the Targaryen times finally asks a question, having worked up the courage. ‘’Princess-I mean, Duchess…’’ She stumbles and blushes, embarrassed as she looks through her notes nervously.

Aemond smiles, reassuringly. ‘’Princess is fine, Ma’am. She must adjust to her new title somehow.’’ Finally she lets go of her cards, and becomes much more confident because of it.

‘’Princess Y/N. What are the plans for the wedding?’’ Aemond grins, turning his head to you as if he wants to hear it as well.

You smile, painting a picture. ‘’A grand one, in the sept, honoring ancient Targaryen traditions. But also a couple of new ones.’’ You for example would love for Vhagar, Aemond’s cat to wear the rings down the aisle or for your wedding dress to be silver. And so, that happened. 25 october, you and Aemond said your vows for dozens of people to see. And after that, came the honeymoon.

You finally stand before the statue of Nymeria, the statue you dreamed of seeing since you were old enough to want anything. Aemond is with you, together with your security, hidden and dressed as ordinary tourists. You look at Nymeria’s statue, at a loss for words, that's how beautiful you find it all.

‘’I can't believe you took me here.’’ You tell Aemond, searching for his hand to hold as tears of happiness roll down your cheeks.

He gently wipes them away. ‘’I can. You always wanted to see it. And now we can.’’ He tells you, with a smile and a kiss on your lips. ‘’This does mean that you need a new dream, I’m afraid.’’ He jests but you turn his face back to your own.

‘’I don’t need a new dream. You are my new dream.’’

Next year, you all come together for christmas. You and Aemond have brought gifts. The family sits still in gowns and suits, as royals are expected, but their smiles are the same of any other happy family.

Finally it is your turn to give something to Viserys, the king.

‘’Grandsire, we have a surprise.’’ Aemond looks around the room, and everyone watches as Viserys unwraps his present with the help of Alicent, and reveals two red with silver baby socks.

Rhaenyra gasps, delighted before hiding her giggle. Jacaerys and Baela grab each other’s hand and Helaena grins. Even Aegon seems to understand what this means. His hair has slightly grown back, but he keeps it shorter than usual, he quite liked it.

Yet the king seems at loss for words. ‘’These are a little too small for my feet.’’ Viserys says, taking in the baby socks.

Aemond grins, putting his arms around you. You beam, waiting patiently for Viserys to get the hint.

Alicent jumps up from her chair, gasping. ‘’Oh my gods, she is pregnant!’’ You break into a bright grin as Aemond softly rubs your belly.

Instantly the king smiles, standing up to hug you both. ‘’Oh! My stupid arse thought you bought the wrong size!’’ He is still very fragile, but manages to walk a few inches.

‘’Father.’’ Rhaenyra says with a chuckle.

Daemon, her newest husband, smirks, before coming over as well. Usually he is too cool for things like this, but this time, it's different. ‘’Ah to hell it with, get here you two.’’ He hugs you both. You look at the beautifully decorated christmas tree, and realize that next christmas might look even more beautiful.

The next Christmas is just like that, beautiful. Baela is now pregnant with her own child, the future heir to the seven Kingdoms. Dyana has been married too, to a friendly sweet woman she met in a coffee shop. She remains one of your closest friends, after the selection and Dyana and Crystina are invited to court, to become your ladies.

Your son is now born, Prince Daen Targaryen. Aemond and you picked the name together.

‘’He takes after his father, always with his nose stuck in a book.’’ Prince Viserys comments as you and the young prince look through a picture book he got from his aunt, Aunt Rhaenyra.

Rhaenyra seems pleased that your son likes her gift and you smile at her. ‘’He likes colorful pictures.’’

Rhaenyra nods. ‘’Viserys and Aegon are the same.’’

Aemond talks with his dad, you see them bond more and more, becoming closer. ‘’Do you remember?’’ He asks.

Viserys almost looks offended. ‘’Of course I do. Your favorite things was to read, to eat cookies and to see the horses.’’

Aemond grins, looking at you and your son. ‘’I thought you had forgotten.’’ He confess.

Viserys nearly chokes on his champagne. ‘’Never.’’

You lift Daen from the ground, picking him up and bringing him to Aemond who happily accepts and holds his son. ‘’Look, it’s daddy.’’ You tell your son with a smile. ‘’Say hello to daddy.’’

He grins, hugging your son tightly when rocking him to sleep. ‘’Our little prince.’’ He tells you with a wink.

You nod. ‘’Our little prince.’’ You have learned a lot in the time of the selection. But the one thing is that your life can change, if you just look past people’s appearances, and past their walls. The most gorgeous crown can be hidden behind a ugly box and the most wonderful story has the dustiest cover. You can’t judge people for the walls they keep around, as everyone has their own stories. But most of all, you learned to fight for things you believe in, and to fight for things you love.

A/N.

Thank you so much for reading with me. When i started it idk how many people would even like it and the support was insane. Thank you all so much. I hope you all liked the story as much as I did telling it, in hotd/selection fashion.

#hotd #hotd fanfiction #hotd fanfic #aemond targaryen #aemond #aemond one eye #hotd x reader #hotd x you #aemond x reader #aemond x you #aemond fic #aemond fanfiction #hotd x oc #aemond x oc #aemond targaryen x reader

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blorbingqls · 3 months

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Karan and Achi beyond the mask

okay, so i am not okay from the last episode of Cherry Magic Thailand. i personally relate to Karan and Achi a lot, and i felt like writing something on this.

so, in ep 1, we saw Karan to be this perfect guy in the office: winning the awards, getting better oppurtunities and being a great cheerleader for everyone. but, we saw the "mask" shatter when Achi heard his thoughts.

our thoughts, which are so personal in real life and usually are so restricted to ourselves - its hard to imagine what they might get out of it. and, the fact that Karan, while being so perfect, is so mysterious and private of his feelings, really hits hard when you see him internally squealing over being so close to his crush. And, that is why, his crush made us go:

(but in a relatable sort of way...)

As we moved on from episode to episode, we are seeing the said mask get shatter every moment or as shrek goes:

and we first see that reflect once we understand how Karan feels about having those feelings for Achi. which he thinks is beyond shameful. but isn't love something we are told to cherish so fiercely? and thats where i related it with my initial feelings of being queer. societally, we have been told us much on not being gay that when you actually do feel it, it feels guilty. it feels wrong to have these feelings; its a shame to have them because its only just you who has it. (but it is not like that)

Karan, in his whole life, has only been perceived as a mask. a mask of good looks who somewhat can do the job. he's perfect, mysterious and flawless. but, unknowingly, he's very sad and tired of it. so much so that he was scared for Achi to discover that he reads manga. his life, beyond his office is comparatively lonelier.

then the incident happened. his first year of working with the company: in a meeting with his seniors to learn all about the trade. he has prepared everything, he did the research and practiced what to speak in front of the client, only for his boss to reduce him to "the junior who has good looks."

Achi noticed that and later, was the only one who saw beyond the mask at his lowest. Achi said things which made sense to him, because he understands how bad it is be reduced to that mask because Achi goes through that low self esteem every day. however his kindness doesn't let him get it to others around him. for him, he is okay to be behind the scenes, as along it makes him feel happy.

cheering up Karan wasn't something Achi did in order to get something out of Karan. he only did it because he wanted Karan to feel better. and Karan saw that.

to like someone who sees you beyond what anyone is willing to show to the outside world and doesn't demean for it, means a lot to someone like Karan. and that's why, Karan's small acts of care for Achi made sense. because Achi's small acts of kindness towards the office is so similar to what Karan does for Achi. that's why, even though Achi doesn't believe it yet, but, Karan and Achi are similar in a lot more ways than he thinks.

so when Karan gets so close to Achi, he starts feeling so so special. initially, he was so happy with this small acts, it would make his day when he could just interact with Achi. but as Karan and Achi got to know each other more, with Karan's feelings out there for Achi to know, Karan also started feeling so special to Achi, even though the uncomfort lingered around.

with Achi's mask of being the ordinary, clumsy guy as the world sees him, his esteem made him fear the love Karan gave him, as he got closer to him. but he didn't understand how his ideas of buffers actually left Karan feeling so unacknowledged of his place in Achi's life all of a sudden.

so even if Achi knew Karan's feelings way before than Karan expressed it to him, he still didn't know what to say 'cause his heart couldn't reassure him of the genuinity of the feelings he felt for Karan or Karan's feelings for him.

with that post it note, Achi figured out the sincerity of Karan's love.

and for me, that is both of them reaching out beyond their masks and come out of their comfort zones to embrace the said love.

#cherry magic thailand #karan x achi #taynew #karanachi #jace's stray thoughts into the tumblr void #it took me an hour to write and all because TAY TAWAN GOT ME IN MY FEELS #ISTG THIS MAN SHOULD NOT CRY ON SCREEN #HIM AND FIRST KANAPHAN HAVE THE CRY POWER #the power to kill anyone who made them cry - even if its their signficant other #tay tawan #new thitipoom #cherry magic th

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fettuccin-e · 2 years

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Steve Harrington Fic Recs (Part II)

Hello!! Gang, Steve has a chokehold on me (i wish i was being literal), so here is another collection of AMAZING Steve fics made by some fantastic authors. Please give these authors a ton of love!!! (and if you are one of these authors and you'd like to be removed from this list, please let me know!!)

Part I of my Steve Harrington Fic Recs

Tales of a Love Between the Lines by @robiin-buckley

>> Steve shows you he loves you in different ways, and waits for you to realize that you love him too. (Ugh, he’s so sweet in this i want to marry him)

Perfect by @gothbitchshit

>> You and Steve are friends with benefits, but when Steve is pretty much the perfect lover, it’s hard not to fall in love with him. (The pining??? The angst??? The SMUT???? So good I reread this fic constantly)

Love on You by @sinclaiirs

>> After a long day at work, you really just want to feel close to your boyfriend. As close as possible, in fact. (Our dear Stevie boy takes your virginity. That’s it, that’s the fic, and what more could you possibly want??)

You Belong With Me by @peterbenjiparker

>> Steve constantly has another girl hanging off his arm, and it gets harder and harder to watch as you fall more and more in love with him. What happens when your jealousy finally comes to a head? (The pining is off the charts with this one and I am not complaining)

Stand By Me by @once-upon-an-imagine

>> After what occurred in the Upside Down, your boyfriends, Steve and Eddie, are constantly fighting, angry at each other for acting recklessly. You’re trying to hold it together, but when your home has turned into a war zone, it suddenly becomes too much to bear. (I LOVE poly!Steddie, and this fic is so angsty and wonderful omg —there are descriptions of nightmares and panic attacks though!! So read with caution!!)

Everything Has Changed by @starryeyedstories

>> Yesterday morning, your best friend, Steve, picked you up for work like always. This morning, Steve is picking you up for work again, but now he’s your boyfriend and everything has changed. (literally squealed while reading this i love soft!stevie)

And I Snuck in Through the Garden Gate by @upsidedownwithsteve

>> You've loved Steve for what seems like forever. Through summer after summer, party after party, stolen kisses and lingering touches, you have loved Steve Harrington. (this work is genuine art. i reread it as a comfort fic and i cry every time. please read it omg please)

Hard Candy by @upsidedownwithsteve

>> You're a little drunk and a lot jealous of the girl Steve's talking to. An outburst brings long-buried feelings to light, and Steve is all-too-eager to act on them. (it's a little series and it's wonderful!! besties to lovers is my vice)

Put Away My Pride by @wtfsteveharrington

>> Your vibrator died and it seems like all of the batteries in the entire apartment have disappeared. In your desperate search for some batteries, your roommate Steve offers an alternate solution. (roommates to lovers with a healthy sprinkling of perv!steve hell yeah)

Baby, Baby, Baby by @pixiemunsons

>> Steve has resolved himself to knowing he'll be using condoms until you both get married. But when you come home and tell him that you've started birth control, that he can finally fuck you raw, Steve doesn't know how to handle himself. (holy fUCK BREEDING KINK BREEDING KINK YEAH)

Oops, I Love You by @earthgirl616

>> The four times you are reminded of how desperately in love you are with Steve Harrington and the first time you're able to show him. (4+1 fics babey they'll always get me and when you mix it with mutual pining?? say LESS)

#noodleficrecs #steve harrington #steve harrington smut #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x you #stranger things x reader

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fuckyeahgoodomensfanfic · 2 months

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Good Omens Fic Rec: in your own time

Aziraphale and Crowley grew up together as next-door neighbours on Hogback Lane, classmates at the local Catholic school, and inseparable best friends. By the age of eighteen, both were hopelessly in love with the other, despite the knowledge that they were doomed to live apart, as Crowley aimed to pursue university study in London and Aziraphale committed himself to remaining in Tadfield, dedicating his life to the Church. After almost twenty years spent away from his hometown, renowned botanist Crowley decides to come and visit Tadfield again at a moment's notice; the purpose of his visit is to speak at a Careers Day for the school he and Aziraphale, now a beloved priest and a frequent helper at the school, attended. The twenty-four hours that follow will change both of their lives for ever.

Length: 33,632 words

AO3 Rating: Explicit / Spice Level 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Best for: Mostly Safe in Public, After Dark, Human AU

Triggers: None

Read it here, fic by ineffabildaddy

*Minor Spoilers* I'm proud to say that I was the third hit count on this one and I had no idea it was being posted. This is a STUNNING priest AU, and this is going to be a long rec post.

Crowley and Aziraphale are estranged childhood friends here. Aziraphale was put on track to become a priest, and could not walk away. Crowley had to leave and find his own path. Personally, I love that plotline because it gives me a connection to their 6,000 years of friendship that I like to see revisited in Human AUs. We only get brief flashbacks to their youth, but it is enough to know how much they loved each other then. They go through life content, but incomplete. Each aware that their soulmate is out there, but reconnection feels impossible. That magic is not gone yet, and an unexpected reunion was just the spark they needed.

Crowley's portrayal here is especially soft and tender. His blend of anxiety and genuine confidence is as charming as ever, but it's his understanding and acceptance that truly shine. He never blames Aziraphale for the way things have unfolded. There's no punishment for the past from him, only unwavering support and love. He's so loving and safe, praising and doting on Aziraphale with pet names. I know Aziraphale is going to be cared for now.

Aziraphale's relationship to God and the Church was such a gorgeous journey. He was put on this Earth to do good and provide comfort to his community. Just like the canon though he'll need to separate out the Institution (Heaven/The Church) from God. His moral compass is so strong, "heavy, gilded, reliable". He just needed to learn to trust that voice. And not the voice of those who have forced him to conform to their will. The narrative never villainizes Aziraphale for staying with the church. He just needed some separation and someone to catch him. To be shown that love is holy. The church is not God, he will not be destroyed for acting on his love. I won't quote the whole thing but on Crowley's side, there is a stunning description of what he finds holy and worth of worship. That I am going to reread 1 million times. This story speaks to the late bloomers, the closeted, and the repressed—the queers who have hidden and suppressed their desires to conform to please others. It's for those whose lives seem to have slipped by, filled with missed opportunities and immobilizing fear. It holds us close and tells us, "It's never too late, my love." I often get stuck on "lost time", times I've felt I've wasted in my life. So reading, "It's never too late to do whatever it was you were always meant to do, as long as you do it when you're ready. It's never too late to look into the future, to conceive of a world which makes you grin with excitement and banish all dread from your mind." well, it made me emotional okay!!

Oh and it's hot as fuck. So there's also that. Like seriously, it'll creep up on you here. It'll be some gorgeous line about the human condition or whatever, and then the filthiest most delicious line imaginable! It was like an electric shock to me. The confessional scene had me weak in the knees!!!! I can't say enough times I love this story. The first several chapters are safe in public, but you will hit a point that it is not! Proceed at your own pleasure

Read it here, fic by ineffabildaddy

#good omens #good omens fanfiction #good omens fanfic #fanfic rec #aziracrow #good omens fic rec #aziraphale x crowley #in your own time #ineffabildaddy #mostly safe in public #after dark #human au #religion au #plants au #five flames #faves of the blog #medium

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capn-twitchery · 12 days

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do you have any tips for drawing expressions? it’s one thing that I always notice about your art, I love how expressive your characters are.

thank you so much!! it really means a ton bc expressions are one of the things i've focused & worked the hardest on over the years :D ♥

which ALSO MEANS--HA, YOU ACTIVATED MY SPECIAL INTEREST TRAP CARD i am now going to talk at you all for far too long about it >:) buckle up!

prefacing this by saying i Love animation, this makes me biased as hell with where i get my sources + how i study art. anyway!

i think my biggest #1 tip is don't be afraid to get goofy with it--characters don't have to look cool and stoic all the time, they can be silly! if an expression reads better, but looks a little off-model, do it anyway! make that guy look weird!

i draw little thumbnail expressions a Lot, whether for actual art or for just fun doodling. i don't have any recent ones to hand-- but here's some from a while ago. they help a ton to figure out what works quickly without worrying about actual facial features

they also help to see if i can push an expression further, it's easier to test out weird things on a tiny round doodle and then translate that into an actual drawing later on. pushing expressions To The Limits is a really good exercise in itself!

gonna put the rest under the cut bc it's getting long & i have a lot more to say

ok this in itself is a whole topic i can go on about for hours, but i'll try to keep it semi brief--i Love considering how different characters would show emotions! how one character would express sadness, how that would be different to another, how one character would smile vs. another, stuff like that!

related, giving characters individual expression quirks. twitch's :3 mouth & lazy lidded eyes if you could see them anyway & Very Smug Eyebrows, while grace has heavy low eyebrows & sad puppy eyes & usually looks at least 10% unsure at all times. it makes every single twitch smile look slightly not genuine and makes grace look. well. you know. the quirks are really fun to think of, and it makes drawing expressions feel a lot more fun when you personalise them!!

expressions can be easier to think of when you put characters in scenarios & consider how they'd react. it can also help to think of the character Moving/talking, instead of as a static image. mini comics or just adding dialogue to art helps a lot with this, i've only just started doing it and i'm having a blast!!

ok this one is weird and hard to explain and might only be applicable to me bc i can't see images in my brain-- but i'll throw it out there just in case! lots of artists make faces in the mirror to reference their own expressions, but it's never worked for me

i Do still act stuff out in my brain & make faces irl, but instead of doing it in the mirror, i just make the expression & consider how my face is moving in Words? ok for example This Comic, last panel for twitch--i'd run through the dialogue in my head and move around how i feel like they would, and list it off in Words--raised eyebrows, closed eyes, tilted head, etc etc. then i have a framework to base the expression on! and i don't need to stare into my own face in the mirror for reference. no mirror needed at all, actually. win/win. i do this for body language too

(yes this makes you look insane btw. sorry. if you do it too long best case scenario you get very dextrous eyebrows and worst case scenario you might start making cartoon character faces irl (or both) (i'm both))

not sure how much it helps specifically with expressions outside of animation, but it's a fun exercise--learning the limits of a character's face, animation calls it squash & stretch. drawing a face in the two most extreme states. so on character expression sheets you'll see weird faces like this⤵️ that's what that is

another exercise, i always have a ton of art saved that i like the expressions of. usually a lot of concept art for films. i'll do studies of them & redraw them, and/or take ocs and redraw them with those expressions! it's a great way to look at how other artists do stuff and yoink bits you like.

you'll hear this a lot if you look up Any art tips, but references & studies are great. i get a lot of inspo from disney concept art bc their artists are very talented people, but currently i hope disney studios' own hubris eats it alive. i want to see mickey mouse buried in a hole, the rat bastard. anyway some places i personally take inspiration from:

i look at a lot of animation concept art, some good sources are characterdesignreferences, livinglineslibrary, there's pdfs of animation art books all over the place too.

specific concept artists i like are jin kim & shiyoon kim !! they do Great expressions.

outside of film industry, tealin and tracy butler of lackadaisy cats are some inspirations! tracy butler has a great expressions tutorial here

if you find this stuff interesting & like reading, the illusion of life by ollie johnston & frank thomas is an incredible insight into the thought process behind stuff like this! there's a pdf here, unfortunately just a scanned copy but worth a read if you like this stuff!! specifically chapters 'character development', 'animating expressions & dialogue', and 'acting & emotions'

sorry that was an essay and a half but hopefully it was a little bit helpful!! i always love talking about this stuff so if you want anything clarified/just wanna talk about it more i am Always ready to go off >:3

#inquiries #solreefs #i have no idea how to explain these things in a way that feels Tangibly Helpful but i do love talking about it #hopefully it helps a Bit!! ty for giving me the excuse to go off hehehe #i wanted to do doodles to go along with stuff but my arms are achey today #alas. words will have to do #fredspeaks

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mvrtaiswriting · 1 year

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Hello, handsome. x Trafalgar D. Law (part 2) ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :

hullo! as requested, here's the the part 2 to a Law fic you all adored so much. I am so happy with the love it received and I hope this matches your expectations!! you guys requested a part two and here it is! aaaahhh I'm so excited about this dfsfhsdif

(part 1)

warnings: suggestive, gn reader, mentions of alcohol?

feel free to reblog, like, and leave a comment. i would very much appreciate it. if you enjoy my works, click here to read more or buy me a coffee.

“We might just get away with it.” you laughed, your giggles echoing in the empty Polar Tang, which now officially became the perfect refuge for your sweet escapes. There was no going back at this point and the two of you knew it - your lips became Law’s religion, his hips becoming the altar of your lovesick cult. Like magnets, your bodies couldn’t bare standing far from each other - it was stronger than you, like a slight electric shock running through every nerve in your body and making you act before you could even think about it.

Law was busy leaving a trail of wet, lustful kisses on your neck to give you a proper answer, so he just hummed in response. He was sure he could technically diagnose himself as clinically addicted to you; he longed for you and every time your scent overwhelmed his sense, a stupid rush of dopamine invested his body completely. He couldn’t get enough of you - he could never give up this. The feeling of your skin against his made his mind almost glitch as he discovered new extents of pleasure and happiness every time he laid with you. It wasn’t just that - it wasn’t just lust; Law knew it was love by the way his heart trembled in his chest every time he saw you getting too close with someone that wasn’t him, how happy it would make him to just receive even the slightest sign of affection when the two of you were out in public.

“I think they know already.” he whispered against your bare skin, leaving a purple hickey on your cleavege. Law wanted to mark his territory, to let everyone know you were his and his only - that there was someone that mattered to you more than anyone else on that stupid ship. Law was ready to risk it all for you.

“Hey, hey..” you giggled in response, lifting Law’s head up by placing your index finger under his chin. “How will I cover this?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. It was a genuine question, but you couldn't help but smirk - you were worried about your cremates finding out - especially this way. But the most selfish part of you enjoyed seeing Law like this, feeding off you and leaving marks on your skin like a silly teenager in love. Jealousy looked good on Law, making him even more irresistible. He was the man of your life, you knew that in one way or another, you would have run away with him - but while you were trying to figure out the best way to do it, you enjoyed Law being all crazy about you, fighting against himself to hold back and not make a scene, finding sneaking way to let everyone know you belonged to him.

“You don’t?” he smirked, climbing up your body and resting his forehead against yours. He bit your bottom lip, pulling you closer to him. “What a shame.” he scrunched his nose, faking a sorry expression. Giggling in response, you lightly smacked his cheek. “You're terrible.” you answered, making him laugh. Quick to switch position, he laid on his back and invited you between his arms, letting your head rest on his chest.

“Have you told anyone?” he asked, his tone immediately becoming more serious. He liked the teasing and hiding away, but days were going by quicker than he thought and the depart date became closer and closer.

The two of you agreed you would have discussed it with someone you trusted, just to make sure you didn't step on anyone’s feet. It wasn't a problem for Law - although he had grown to somewhat like Luffy, he was ready to fight for you, to give up this stupid alliance - there was nothing that could stop him. But you cared for your captain, you believed in his dream and you travelled with him for years now. The straw hat pirates were your family and although you loved Law with every fibre of your body, it still wasn’t easy to leave everyone behind. You didn't know what to expect - would Luffy understand? You would still be allies, after all; or at least you hoped so. Zoro would have thought of you as a traitor, you were sure of that - he was your captain’s best man. How could you explain a love like this? There were no words that could describe the entity of this - it wasn't just a fling - you could feel Law underneath your skin, every cell of your body ached for him; your heart struggled to beat properly when he wasn’t around. You needed him, the closure between the two of you was the best thing that ever happened to you.

“I talked to Robin.” you sighed, latching your arm against Law’s torso and holding him tight, snuggling against his chest. He only nodded in response, waiting for you to say something more than that.

“She understands. I didn’t even need to say a lot to her - I think Chopper knows too. He visited me a while ago when were.. you know, not talking. And he knew there was no medicine to fix what was going on.” you shrugged your shoulders, almost feeling guilty for letting your crew mates know so much already.

“That’s a relief.” he added, kissing the top of your head. He knew this wasn’t easy for you - he didn't want to isolate you, he knew they were your friends, he knew he was asking for a lot. Sometimes, the tiniest insecurity made its way to his heart, torturing his mind with questions - were you really sure? Were you as in love as he was? Were you ready to give up everything and start over again? A long sigh escaped his lips as these thoughts clouded his mind again, even if you were right in his arms, even if your bodies were intertwined between the sheets where you just made love. Was this enough for you?

The day continued as usual after that conversation, a cold veil fell between the two of you. You didn’t ask about him; you figured Law confided in Bepo, but what kind of advice would he give his captain? Things were easier for Law than they were for you, you needed time to figure everything out.

When you reached the rest of the crews, it seemed like they were waiting for you. Entering the headquarters of your secret base, both you and Law silently took a sit and joined the apparent reunion.

“What happened?” Law asked, worried that the enemy might have discovered your hideout, blowing out the whole plan.

“Someone took our alliance way too far, uh?” Zoro spitted out through grinned teeth, everyone turning their heads to look at you and Law, casually sitting next to each other.

Blood rushed to your cheeks colouring them of a scarlet red, whilst Law kept his usual composure - he only grinned slightly, something about pissing Zoro off fed his ego more than he expected.

“Care to explain?” Law asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Nami intervened, elbowing Zoro and giving you a softer look than the marimo. “We would have understood.” she added truthfully. Nami was more kindhearted than many would think - but it was something she reserved for very few people. Luckily, you were one of them - she loved you just as an older sister would, her words were heartfelt and you knew it.

A shiver run through your spine - is this how things were going to go? A massive fight? This felt like a process, your crew being the judges of the worst betrayal in history. Your hands were shaking as the fear of being hated by the people you grew up with insinuated in your heart. Law was quick to notice these signs, and quickly laid his hand on the back of your shoulders, gently running his palm up and down your back, trying to calm you down.

“How..” you mumbled. Your eyes scanned the room, trying to look for Robin’s gaze - did she tell everything? Nope, couldn't be her. Everyone kept silent, your captain not speaking a word. This was killing you, you never imagined this to be so difficult - it was love, what was there to be mad about?

“It’s okay, you know.” Luffy finally said, his usual smile forming on his lips. “I will always be your captain, however. You will always be a Straw Hat.”

Before Law could argue against Luffy’s claim, you kicked his leg. This was not about him - you needed to hear this. You trusted your captain, you firmly believed he would become the King of Pirates - you dedicated your heart to the cause and leaving the island with Law meant you were still his biggest ally, ready to fight if he only asked you to.

“And it was obvious, by the way.” Penguin said, scratching the back of his head. “We all noticed your sneak outs, the terrible mood Law was in when you didn’t speak.. you aren’t great actors.” he shrugged his shoulders, making everyone in the room laugh.

A wave of relief crashed against you, all of your muscles suddenly relaxing. Getting up, you run into your captain’s arms. Luffy was quick to reciprocate, locking you in a tight hug.

“You know I love Tra!” he screamed, stretching his arm to grab your lover and letting him join your hug, who mumbled stupid complaints about Luffy’s usual affection.

In all honesty, however, even Law was relieved. He knew how much your friends meant to you - he would die for his crew, and it was only obvious that you would do the same for yours. He would never ask you to betray them - he just wanted to live with you.

After the strange trial that went out, the crews got together to celebrate your union. Sanji prepared a wonderful dinner, rivers of booze were running down the table as everyone celebrated you and Law together. Everyone saw how miserable the two of you became when you tried to part ways - you were meant to be together. It was a new beginning, and everyone was happy about it - more or less. Of course there were tears - Chopper being inconsolable, crying seamlessly on your shoulder. It was hard to let you go.

When the booze finally kicked and the attention shifted away from the two of you, Law finally reached for your hands, pulling you close to him.

“Do you want to dance?” he whispered into your ear.

“Hello, handsome.” you smiled, quickly grabbing his hand. “It would be a pleasure.” you added, letting him take you in his arms and guide your movements, lulling you to the rhythm of the song Brook was playing.

“This feels like a ceremony.” you laughed, latching your arms around his neck. He smirked in response, kissing your forehead.

“Who knows.”

little tag list I made by myself because you guys loved the part 1 and encouraged me to write this: @ebriton @augustanna @no-such-thing-as-no-such-thing @afrillisdark

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starflungwaddledee · 5 months

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(This ask got so long I had to split it into 4 parts, sorry about that!)I love your AUs so MUCH, oh my GOD!! Bandee realizing that the world is Wrong because no good, just world would let Kirby be so, so miserable... the heartbreak of him being powerless to stop Galacta poisoning Kirby's worldview, because to directly interfere is to doom them all... the way that he does everything in his power to support Kirby and tries to protect his heart (1/4)

haha... haha...! 😅 *nervously checks under my desk for secret cameras*

but in all seriousness, thank you so much for enjoying the work and reading it with such dedication and perception!! ngl i am genuinely curious who this is tbh!

all your kind words mean a lot, i'm so happy to know the emotion comes over well in my comics work!!

rest under the cut just due to length. just general excitement and responses to the content of the asks, some minor mentions of lying/psychological manipulation.

i'm also super thrilled that you see and understand the bandee-centric vision. seeing this written out so transparently by someone else as though it was straight from my own hand was a really fun experience!! he is a loyal and heroic little dude... he loves kirby so much! save an entire timeline for his best friend? he WILL do it, no matter what!!

it does drive bandee nuts and hurts him so bad not to be able to talk about any of this with kirby directly, but galacta knight is paying such extremely close attention to kirby at that point that if bandee tried any harder than he did during that café scene, it would definitely get back to him and the jig would be up.

and indeed, kirby is directly parroting stuff galacta knight has said, word for word. it's hard to tell but some of kirby's dialogue is even in a tweaked colour (vibrant galacta knight hot pink, rather than the warmer kirby pink) to help make that clear. it's like... not what kirby would ever say or even really think, which is what makes it so sinister.

galacta knight is, as you said, poisoning kirby's worldview; and with it, kirby's legacy itself. by the time star allies occurs and they are trying to combat the effects of the jamba hearts, the citizens of dream land are not pleased when the great hero kirby shows up to help them. they're terrified

simultaneously, as you correctly pointed out, he's also damaging kirby's view of bandee. not directly bad mouthing him or anything, because he figured out that didn't work early on, but galacta knight himself certainly thinks that bandee is weak and expendable, so it's easy for him to feed that fear in kirby. especially because kirby has lost so many other friends to 'dark matter' at this point

especially because bandee is indeed all kirby has left

you absolutely hit the nail on the head with regards to the end of that café scene. it was incredibly intentional phrasing on galacta knight's behalf. he didn't even bother telling that to bandee who is- at this point- the last waddle dee in dream land. just "they're invading."

it's not even necessarily untrue; they were coming to take the waddle dees! but galacta knight can absolutely rationalise many things to kirby, at this point, by saying it puts bandee in particular at risk. he can and does weaponise their friendship, especially in the later stages of the au

we cannot afford to delay when faced with threats, kirby, not everybody is strong like you. mercy could get someone killed. make sure you train so, so hard, kirby, to protect the people you care about. make sure you make him train hard, so he isn't viewed as the vulnerable target he is.

make sure you act decisively to keep him safe.

you can ask questions later.

and if something were to 'accidentally' happen to bandee... well that would probably just confirm everything galacta knight had been saying all along.

wouldn't it?

#asks #awtdy au #cw angst #up until the another dimension fight with meta knight #where galacta knight learns he *cares* about bandee #galacta knight indeed thinks the most useful thing bandee can do is die dramatically and push kirby over the edge #*after* that realisation he is suddenly much more useful. of course.

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butchhamlet · 4 months

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hi it's me again im the anon who dropped about 800 words about ocd hamlet a couple weeks ago (maybe longer, time has been weird for me lately).. it made me soo happy to see it resonated with you and with some other people who reblogged it as well!! i've been projecting on hamlet ever since i read it and it feels like every time i read it i learn more about him AND me... and ever since Symptoms showed up he's been even dearer to me and im just so glad people like my interpretation as well :)

i hope it's ok for me to do this again because i want to talk about what if lady macbeth has ocd also. and i know this is sort of well. dangerous if that's the right word because 1) lady macbeth IS the villain in her play even if i love her from the bottom of my heart and i support everything she does and ocd is already an incredibly stigmatised and misunderstood 2) hand washing is possibly THE most stereotyped compulsion that sort of epitomises this really warped view of ocd in the public consciousness. i personally do not have handwashing as a compulsion or really any physical compulsions that are direct responses to my intrusive thoughts so i will try to be really really careful when im talking about this. + other disclaimers: again while i have definitely experienced symptoms of ocd i do not know if i have it and i am NOT diagnosed + ocd experiences are different for everyone + you cannot diagnose a character because they are not real + this one is mostly projection and is more a frame of reading than it is an interpretation grounded in textual evidence (esp since i will be talking about the sleepwalking asleep a LOT and she is technically, well. sleeping.) so just. take everything with a pinch of salt and please let me know if i ever overstep!!

im mainly going to be drawing on experiences close to real event ocd even though i know that typically real event ocd is defined by the fact that the sufferer blows their past mistakes way out of proportion and/or question their memories, and i guess i cannot say that lady macbeth’s guilt is completely unjustified because uh. she did kill a man.! but i do think her behaviours after the murder reflects what i’ve seen people speak about online as well as some of the experiences i’ve had.

guilt as illness

this is more general to the whole play i guess but i wanted to point out how the consequences of the macbeths’ regicide is absolutely portrayed as a disease. there’s a LOT of foreshadowing in lady macbeth’s advice to her husband in the immediate aftermath of their murder: she tells him not to “think / so brain sickly of things”, and says, “these deeds must not be thought / after these ways so, it will make us mad”. (2.ii) the doctor later alludes to “infected minds” (5.i) in relation to lady macbeth’s madness. the fact that the fixation on guilt is seen as an illness i think fits so well with ocd: whenever im having a bad day with intrusive thoughts and mental spirals it genuinely feels like there is something festering in my brain like a parasite feeding on anxiety.

guilt is also so intrinsically linked to sleep in macbeth: famously macbeth comes out of the king’s chamber ranting about how he may “sleep no more; macbeth doth murder sleep”, and lady macbeth’s obsession pours out of her when she is sleeping (and this is exactly why a doctor is called). i would argue that fucked up sleep is somewhat presented as an illness in ‘macbeth’ too; or if not, at least unnatural. this idea is all over act 2 scene ii (right after macbeth commits the murder) but i think it’s best epitomised in act 3 scene iv: “you lack the season of all natures, sleep.” (lady macbeth) season as in both night-season and seasoning/preservative. so sleep is both a natural part of life, and something that keeps things the way nature or god intended. the doctor says too that disturbed sleep is “a great perturbation in nature” (5.i). nightmares are DEFINITELY depicted as illness: macbeth says that they “sleep / in the affliction of these terrible dreams / that shake us nightly” (3.ii)

insomnia is highly associated with ocd since the obsessions/compulsions prevent sleep and sleep deprivation increases the commonality AND duration of obsession. if a significant portion of your day is spent devoted to obsessions/compulsions, there’s a chance they may become assimilated into intrusive dreams, since dreams are generally regarded as a way that the brain processes memories. thus, we can see that the way guilt in ‘macbeth’ is linked to disturbed sleep parallels how ocd is linked to sleep disorders. so not only is guilt itself an illness in ‘macbeth’, it links to other disorders too

2. withdrawal from dialogue

lady macbeth stops being on equal footing in terms of number of lines with macbeth after the murder. from act 3 she really only responds briefly to what macbeth says, and she’s not even in act 4. i sort of see that as her being dragged under her spiralling thoughts and retreating further and further back into her mind. i know i definitely zone out a LOT more on days where im being absolutely bombarded by intrusive thoughts. she’s definitely disoriented by the begining of act 3:

nought’s had, all's spent, where our desire is got without content. ’tis safer to be that which we destroy, than by destruction dwell in doubtful joy. (3.ii)

the whole soliloquy (if you can even call it that—it’s only 2 couplets) is riddled with paradoxes and confusing wording. her mind is completely scattered and it feels to me as if she’s just been arguing with herself. this might be reaching slightly (as if this entire post isnt kind of reaching already. sorry) but to me it kind of mirrors the absurd leaps of logic my intrusive thoughts and rumination can sometimes take: how can it be “safer” to be destroyed? how can “joy” be doubtful? it doesn’t make sense, and it’s confusing and frightening, but it feels absolutely real. (also note: as you’ve said before ocd is sometimes called the doubting disease. and lady macbeth calls her experience “doubtful”….

3. the mad scene

(disclaimer again i KNOW she is supposed to be asleep the entire time BUT i am going to. sort of. ignore that. sorry</3)

in the beginning of act 5 scene i, lady macbeth’s lady-in-waiting says,

since his majesty went into the field, I have seen her rise from her bed, throw her nightgown upon her, unlock her closet, take forth paper, fold it, write upon't, read it, afterwards seal it, and again return to bed — yet all this while in a most fast sleep.

i’ve never experienced physical compulsions myself, but this sort of repeated, methodical act matches how i’ve seen people describe them. the doctor specifically calls them “actual performances”, which suggest, i think, something mechanical and dictated in some way; “perform” is definitely a word i’ve seen people use to descrive carrying out compulsions. (do correct me if i’m wrong!)

then let’s look at lady macbeth’s actual speech:

out, damned spot, out, I say. — one, two — why, then, 'tis time to do't. — hell is murky. — fie, lord, fie, a soldier, and afeard! what need we fear who knows it, when none can call our power to account? yet who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him?

the jumping around of her thoughts honestly feels exactly like my mind alternating between intrusive thoughts and desperately trying to justify why they aren’t true. she goes from reflecting on her debillitating guilt, to being anxious about going to hell, to replaying and checking her memories, to reassuring herself (and macbeth) that she won’t get caught, and then to thinking about her guilt again. it’s a rapid-fire, relentless cycle that continues throughout the scene. she’ll jump from reenacting a moment with her husband, to the obsessing over the blood on her hands, then back again. notably, in her address to macbeth, she never seems to be reenacting the exact same moment. she taunts him for his cowardice seemingly before the murder, then pleads with him, saying that “banquo cannot come out his grave”, then goes back to when they are fleeing the crime scene. i think this reflects the sort of distortion of memory that constant memory checking and ocd can cause. the moodswings and the flip-flopping between “everything’s fine” and “i’m going to hell” are also SO intense and honestly it’s exactly what it feels like on my worst days.

in the entire scene, lady macbeth speaks in prose instead of verse: it’s obviously a sign of madness by itself, but i also think it reflects the complete loss of control she has over her thoughts and actions. in the beginning acts she is all about control: she demands “spirits / that tend on mortal thoughts” (1.v) to do her bidding, she tells macbeth to “leave all the rest to me” (1.v), and she tells him what to do at every moment. but at this point in the play she can’t stop the onslaught of regrets, guilt, and memories, and she can’t even control herself physically.

speaking of the elephant in the room: the excessive handwashing. i think of lady macbeth’s handwashing as less of a reaction to a genuine fear of contamination, but as something more akin to body-repetitive behaviours like skin-picking (dermatillomania) and hair-pulling (trichitillomania, which i think i have) which are associated with ocd.

i sort of headcanon lady macbeth to have absolutely horrible skin splits on her hands (<- this part is complete projection): and so following this interpretation, i think of her handwashing sort of as a form of self-flagellation because rubbing her hands continually will make the skin tear and bleed. (gore tw?) that, then, fits in with the blood on her hands: in her semi-conscious state she thinks it’s duncan’s, when it’s really hers.

i know that another common compulsion is counting: and lady macbeth does count (“one, two—’tis time to do it.”) one of the reasons people with ocd may count (and there are many reasons, this is not the be-all-end-all) is “attaching meaning to particular numbers where certain numbers will induce anxiety, while others will reduce anxiety. for example, if you assign special meaning to the number three, you might count your steps by threes, or lock and unlock your car three times before driving, or any variety of other action ruled by this magic number.” (<- quoted from nocd website)

i also know that repetition of words or phrases is another common compulsion. and these are lady macbeth's final lines:

to bed, to bed; there's knocking at the gate. come, come, come, come, give me your hand. what's done cannot be undone. — to bed, to bed, to bed.

4. her death

in your ocd hamlet post, you talked about how hamlet’s death is almost peaceful in his “silence”, and how horatio, despite knowing all his flaws and obsessions, believes wholeheartedly in his salvation. (that honestly means the world to me, by the way, so thank you.) the macbeths went through EVERYTHING together: the planning, the crime itself, the aftermath—it’s clear from their dialogue that at the beginning of their sufferings they saw each other go through sleeplessness, nightmares, and obsession. but over the course of the play, they completely fall apart. (i think the last time macbeth uses “we” to refer to the two of them is to say “we’ll to sleep” and “we are yet but young in deed”, which is the most ironic thing ever.) macbeth’s only response to lady macbeth’s death is “she should have died hereafter.” i honestly don’t know what that means in terms of the ocd reading, or in comparison with horatio's reaction to hamlet's death. i'd love to know what you think.

thanks for bearing with me!! i’m a bit less confident in this reading than i am for ocd hamlet, and it’s more likely i’ll get something wrong about ocd in this one, but sorry i just wanted to unleash this somewhere i hope that’s okay and genuinely please tell me if i say anything wrong or insensitive! i also typed this over 3 hours and went over the text as if this was a homework essay.....? and it is now almost 2am so i’m sorry if this isn’t coherent. i hope you’re having a wonderful day :)

hi same anon here i forgot to put this in but. i listened to verdi macbeth opera mad scene una macchia è qui tuttora the whole time i was writing that thing in case anyone would like to know...... i love it so so much my favourite video recording is by sylvia sass on youtube https://youtu.be/tP59Ox8MdQ4?feature=shared&t=319 AND there are full productions of the opera on youtube as well. thank you so much for reading!!!!

YES.... YES..... YESSSSSSSSSS I LOVE AN OCD LADY MACBETH... IT'S ABOUT THE GUILT IT'S ABOUT THE REPETITION DOES EVERYONE HEAR ME? TODAY WE ARE DOING GUILT AND REPETITION

i have had similar thoughts about the sort of inherent trickiness of it (oh, the lady who washes her hands a lot has ocd? whoa, totally original thought that has nothing to do with pop culture perception of ocd) (and also she did kill a man). but you really said it all with that ksdhfdksnfdsn. i will pitch in that i DO have handwashing compulsions and tbh. i personally think lady macbeth ocd reading is a net win even if it does trail a little close to stereotypes because if you dig even slightly deeper than "haha handwashing" it allows for an examination of ocd not just as an action but also as a manifestation of guilt and illness. which is SO macbeth. the body politic is sick the government is sick!!! again im taking the words right out of your mouth here this ask whips ass

shaking your hand on conceiving of ocd as something parasitical. really feels like there is some Thing up there feeding on my brain. (also on intrusive thought dreams. fucked upppppp like man leave me alone)

AND ON THAT NOTE i feel like even if she is asleep it can still be ocd. i say this with no medical training whatsoever and this isn't, like, me asserting that people actually do compulsions while asleep, but on a narrative level, the emotional processes happening to her character are petty clear even if she's sleepwalking, right. once again no medical training whatsoever

the jumping around of her thoughts honestly feels exactly like my mind alternating between intrusive thoughts and desperately trying to justify why they aren’t true. [...] the moodswings and the flip-flopping between “everything’s fine” and “i’m going to hell” are also SO intense and honestly it’s exactly what it feels like on my worst days.

YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. the ugly intrusive thought -> self-reassurance -> self-reassurance makes it worse -> intrusive thought (harder and worse) spiral. and literally this is EXACTLY what it feels like. me when i accidentally say something rude and then i'm evil for three days. except she killed a man

YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH. ON AN ANALYTICAL LEVEL AND A PERSONAL LEVEL. LITERALLY THE LEAPS I CAN DO IN MY BEAUTIFUL MIND TO BE LIKE WOW IM JUST LIKE LADY MACBETH (BLOOD ON MY HANDS). YOU N ME BROTHER

and re: her death and the macbeths splintering apart. that is honestly the most painful part of this play for me, as a lover of evil couples and also of their specific dynamic. the fact that they mesh so well at the beginning (i mean, they argue, there's friction, but they're clearly on the same page--they enter their first shared scene both thinking the same thing and a lot of their communication is in implication) and then they just. fragment. and i think with the OCD ladymac reading it's even worse, because the thing about OCD at least in my experience is that. at some point the people around you stop being able to understand what the fuck your problem is. even when they're trying really hard. because it doesn't make any sense! the compulsions don't make logical sense the self-flagellation doesn't make any sense none of it is SOLVING anything but it also does make sense, To You, on a level you cannot really explain to people that don't Get It*. and so like. the macbeths are already breaking apart because of their responses to the murder, and this is just one more thing coming between them. she is trapped in a cage in her brain that he cannot see.

*(i think not infrequently about the overlap between OCD and psychosis; i haven't experienced psychosis and obviously there are major differences, but i relate a lot to what psychotic people have said about, like, the ability to hold multiple contradictory truths at once. my compulsions will not actually stop disasters from happening, but they also will. you could maybe pull in something about macbeth's parallel loss of control + his hallucinations? but i'm not diagnosing macbeth with psychosis necessarily i'm just saying words).

anyway, anon, i am always extremely impressed by your dedication to writing out quotes and coming armed with evidence, and also your analysis fucking bangs. this is such a good ask i need to frame it on the wall your mind is huge. i hope you have a wonderful day as well :)

#max.txt #macbeth #lady macbeth #asks #also my secret is that i wrote a sort of macbeths-inspired short story about that ocd psychosis overlap thing #but i can't post it yet because i'm trying to make someone give me money for it #i can't write anything that isn't about shakespeare apparently.

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notsoattractivearenti · 1 year

Text

Polar Opposites (Christian Pulisic x Reader) - Part 4

WC: 2.0K

Warnings: curse words, drinking/alcohol

A/N: We're so close to the end! 🥹 Before reading this part, make sure you have read the previous parts 😉 I hope you all enjoy and I'd love to hear your thoughts thru reply/reblog/ask 🫶 If you wanna be added to the taglist let me know 😊 Feedbacks are highly appreciated!

| PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 |

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Bachelorette party was tonight. Claire didn’t want to have bridesmaids because she thought having you as Person of Honor was enough. You – as someone who loves planning basically everything – invited some friends of Claire and arranged the whole thing by yourself. She didn’t request for anything but one – no strippers, which you gladly accepted because you didn’t really think that would be a good idea and knowing Claire, she wouldn’t feel comfortable.

At the time, you and Christian were still texting each other. But you were also still uncertain about your feelings for him, so you kept pulling back and forth. Some days, you would be all friendly, but the other days you would act a little cold towards him – maybe too cold. You even confused yourself because you had never been in this kind of situation before. The thing was, even when you hadn’t replied to his text for 2 days, he kept on sending you new messages every day.

It was Friday evening when the party started. One week prior, you had made a table reservation at yours and Claire’s favorite nightclub – you were looking forward for the party. You just want to distract yourself from the biggest inner struggle at the moment – which was figuring out what you really feel about certain someone.

“Yes!” You talked to yourself as you walked in to the club, unaware your voice were quite loud. “I can’t wait to finally ‘drink to forget’!”

Claire raised her eyebrows. “Drink to forget? To forget what?”

“Uh, what?” You looked at Claire all confused, before you realized she heard what you said before. “Oh nothing. Forget nothing. Just forget I even said anything.”

You felt your phone vibrated on your pocket, so you took it out and saw 3 new messages from Christian.

Is the bachelorette party tonight?

Have fun! 🙌🏻

Don’t get too drunk 😂 Rehearsal dinner is tomorrow

You texted him back before putting your phone away.

can’t promise anything lol thanks

The time you all got to the table, plenty of drinks – mostly cocktails and shots – had been served. You immediately grabbed 2 shot glasses and ready to start off the party with a toast.

“Everyone, let’s raise our glasses,” you started your toast, “to send off our beloved bride-to-be, Claire to marriage life!”

“Let’s drink and have some fun!”

---

That night, you had a lot of drink – too much, you were pretty boozy.

It was already 12 AM, but since you were still very drunk you didn’t notice time. You were laying on the sofa, then got on your phone, and drunk dialed a number – you weren’t aware it was Christian’s number. He didn’t pick up because he was asleep, so your call went straight to voicemail.

“This is Christian Pulisic, leave your message.”

“Heyyyyyy whaa- Christian? I d’no why I call yeeee” you slurred your speech, you were genuinely surprised to hear his voice.

“I uh, I guess I uhh...” you took a shot of vodka before continuing, “ahhh, I just wanna say, I fuckin hate yer guts!”

“But Chrissss...” your began to murmured, "I thinkkkk I wike yooouuu...”

“Ohhh pffftt, I mean wike! No, ughhh,” you groaned, “like. Theeeereee I say itttttt... I la-la-la-like youuuu.”

“Aaaanyway, imma go have more drinks,” you said as you got off to take another shots, “bye there!” You hung up your phone and threw it to the sofa.

---

The next morning, you woke up with a bad hangover – your day started with a throbbing headache and vomits, you reeked of alcohol.

“Ugh, Claire, my head fucking hurts,” you complained to Claire, “I must’ve drunk too much last night.”

“Yeah you fucking did!” She laughed. “Y/N, you were so out of control last night it was funny to watch!”

“Did I do something stupid? Please, please tell me I didn’t.”

“I mean... Uh...” She tried to recall. “Nothing illegal though, so uh... You’re good I guess?”

You were relieved. “Okay good. Shit, I’m going to sober up for the rehearsal dinner tonight.”

“YOU BETTER BE,” Claire jokingly screamed into your ears, she was amused by how hungover you were and wanted to get a reaction out of you.

“Ah!!! Fuck you Claire!” You covered your ears and squeezed your eyes shut. “That was too loud!”

“I don’t care,” she chuckled. “Go shower and brush your teeth a million times, you smell like a walking bar.”

---

It was finally time for rehearsal dinner. You still were a little hangover, but at least you could function a lot better than this morning. Because you didn’t think you could handle alcohol just yet, you skipped the champagne for the night and had water instead.

As you skimmed the room, you saw Christian was coming over. You tried to act cool even though your heart was beating really fast.

“So...” He started the conversation the moment he stood next to you, “how was bachelorette party, Y/N? Bet you had too much fun.”

“It was fine.” You answered coldly.

“You know, I got a voicemail from someone...”

You gave him a side eye. You thought whatever he was about to say wasn’t that important, so you tried to not give him any attention.

“It’s not just a voicemail, it’s actually umm... A confession?” He smirked.

You started to feel curious. “What do you mean?”

“Someone told me they, uh, how do they say it... Oh, wike! Wait, no. Umm, lalalalike me?”

Your eyes widened. It sounded familiar, but you really couldn’t recall why.

“Wait, did I call you last night???” You nervously asked.

He jokingly asked you back. “I don’t know, did you?”

“Come on Christian,” You whined. “Be serious! I really have no memories about any fucking things after what seemed like to be my one hundredth drink last night.”

“Let me refresh your memory.” He took his phone out of his pocket, then gave you a listen to a voicemail you didn’t remember sending. You covered your face and grumbled – you couldn’t even look at him. At the moment, you felt you were ready to grab a fork and stabbed yourself with it.

“Fuck Christian I-” you stuttered out of embarrassment, “I... I am so... so so so sorry I left you that message. I- I really don’t remember even calling you!”

“That’s okay. I get it, you were drunk. Well, at least now we know alcohol brings honesty out of you.”

“Oh God...” You whimpered.

“Look, Y/N, sorry that you hate my guts, but-”

“Can you just um, erase that?” You asked him anxiously. “And uh, forget it ever happened?”

He frowned. “Why?”

“Uh... I didn’t even know what I was talking about. I mean... I was clearly under the influence.”

“Wait,” he said quietly, “don’t you want to know what I think?”

“I... I don’t...” You stuttered. “I don’t kn-”

“Y/N, Christian!” You two heard Claire called your names and waved. “It’s time!”

You nodded at her, then went back to Christian. “Let’s go there, come on.”

“Yeah sure.” He coldly walked away, he seemed really hurt.

For the entire rehearsal dinner, Christian didn’t talk to you. He glanced at you once in a while, but that was it. You were just really ashamed because of that drunk voicemail you sent him – how you basically told him how you felt about him.

---

At the end of the dinner, you finally had the courage to talk to him.

“Christian,” you tapped his shoulder, “can we talk for a minute?”

“Sure,” he said as he pulled a chair next to him, he didn’t even look at you.

You sat there, and there was a moment of silence.

He finally broke the silence, “what is it?”

“Uh, listen...” You took a deep breath. “The truth is, I’m still unsure of how I feel about you.”

“I have never had feelings to anyone like you. You can be insufferable most of the times, and the thought of that bothers me...”

“Well that’s flattering.” He blurted.

“You know what I mean!” You shouted.

“Anyway, it’s just... What if this feeling is temporary? What if our two, contrasting personalities could never work? I don’t want to get hurt, Christian. I just can’t.” You whimpered.

He listened, but he didn’t say a word.

“I am embarrassed that I sent you that message. That’s why I asked you to delete and forget. And I have yet to figure out how I really feel about you.” You explained.

He pressed his lips together and nodded, but still no words came out.

“Well... Don’t you have something to say to me?” You asked.

“Oh, me?” He pointed at himself. “Tsk. I don’t know.”

“Uh, okay...” You said nervously. “I guess I’ll le-”

As you were ready to leave, you heard him softly confessed, “I like you too.”

You froze for a minute. It felt like your heart stopped beating and the time just stopped ticking – you couldn’t help to let out a smile. “Go on.”

“I was so glad you sent me that voicemail, Y/N. It was the perfect start of my day. I don’t care whether you were drunk or not, at least I now know how you feel about me.” He admitted, his voice sounded shaky. “So when you asked me to pretend it never happened, it hurt me.”

“Chris...”

“I’m not done.” He stopped you.

“Not only that, I don’t know if you notice but you’ve been so hot and cold with me for months! It’s exhausting.” He admitted.

In response, you mouthed “I’m sorry.”

“Look, I’m not going to ask you to make up your mind now, but just so you know... I’m into you. Like, really into you. No matter how much I ‘despise’ you.” He said, giving you a little smile at the end.

You chuckled. “Thank you, Christian.”

You smiled and gazed into each other’s eyes in silent until you heard Claire called your name.

“Y/N! Let’s go home!”

“Oh, I have to go,” you said as you got off your seat. “The bride needs me.”

“See you tomorrow, Best Man.”

“Can’t wait, Person of Honor.”

---

You had spent the last two nights at Claire’s, while Nick stayed over at Christian’s. You hadn’t stopped smiling since the conversation you had with Christian and Claire noticed that.

“Y/N... What’s going on with you?” She asked.

“What?”

“You seem way too happy and it’s freaking me out!” She laughed. “Does Christian have something to do with this?”

You jokingly acted surprised, even though she was right. “How bold of you to assume that!”

“Well does he though? Y/N, I’m not going to sleep before you tell me everything!” Claire demanded.

“No! Are you kidding? Tomorrow’s your wedding... You need enough sleep!”

“You know Y/N, it is the rule to always say ‘yes’ to the bride.”

You playfully gasped. “Are you seriously using your bride card right now?”

“Indeed I am,” she said proudly, “now talk!”

“Ugh fine,” you hesitantly gave up, “I’ll tell you. Bear with me.”

You told her about the drunk voicemail and how it ended up with Christian confessing his feeling to you. Claire – who basically has been rooting for you and him – was very delighted to hear the story.

But she was a little concerned about one thing. “So, Y/N, do you... Really like him?”

“I think I am... But I’m not sure.”

“You have to figure it out very soon, Y/N. He’s not going to wait forever, you know? Don’t toy with his feelings.” She advised.

“I’m aware, but you know it’s not that easy, right? I have no idea why I become this indecisive.” Your voice started breaking. “This shit... It has been messing with my head for fucking months now...”

“We’re just... How do you say it?” You tried to think of the term. “Uh, polar opposite?”

“I understand,” she sympathized, “but maybe you’re thinking too much into it.”

You nodded, you were relieved you had the talk with Claire.

“If you want to, Y/N,” she continued, “you can work those differences out.”

You went silent for a while, thinking about what Claire just said to you. Maybe she’s right? Can we work it out?

---

taglist: @pulisicsgirl @neverinadream @masonspulisic @swimmingismywholelife @chelseagirl98 @bracedes @lovelynikol16 @thoseboysinblue @lizzypotter14 @mortirolo @masonsrem @cinderellawithashoe @alwaysclassyeagle @ala2ilas-s

#christian pulisic #christian pulisic x reader #christian pulisic x y/n #christian pulisic fic #christian pulisic fanfic #christian pulisic imagines #christian pulisic fic series #footballer imagines #footballer fic #polar opposites series

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lollipopsub · 1 year

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Hey!! I was wondering if you knew the timeline of season 2 of my beautiful man? I'm kind of confused. Is it supposed to be that hira and kiyoi have been together all through college? Or am I wrong about the timeline of the first season, because I thought that the finale of season 1 was during hira's first year of college. I'm just surprised that they seem still so unsure of their relationship if they've been a couple for years? Hopefully I'm making sense 😅 thank you so much if you take the time to read this 💖

Hi! Thanks for the ask. So compared to the timeline of the book, they're jumbling things up a little. The story with the party and the model hitting on Hira happens at the end of book 1 as a little sidestory, so canon they're still very young and just started dating.

In the series, supposing they get together at the end of Hira's year 1, and now he's halfway through year 4, they've been dating for close to 3 years I guess? Though I do reckon the decision to skip to this point in time (both novel and show) was made because of the life decisions they're going to have to make at this point in their lives, so maybe not too much thought have been put into the fact that it means they've been dating for so long.

If we expect this relationship to develop the way most relationships do, we're probably not gonna like what we'll be getting. These two emotionally constipated babes both have way too complicated perceptions of human relationships for this to have ever been an option. It's like asking a spoon to be a fork, it just ain't happening.

My point is, I don't think they are unsure of the relationship; they each know that they only have eyes for one another, but the balance in the relationship is just so completely off still. And this is basically what this season is gonna revolve around :)

!!!! POSSIBLE SPOILER !!!!!!

aka my interpretation of what the story might possibly revolve around based on the book 2 synopsis and 1st novel

I think it's hard to say much yet, but the synopsis for the show revolves around how their ways of loving each other is clashing terribly.

Hira lives in a world that is very hierarchy based and very black/white. He is at the bottom of the pyramid and Kiyoi is at the top. Their worlds are different and they can never truly co-exist on an even level; this world that Hira lives in is almost completely static, and he has no desire to move further up the social pyramid, which in his mind would be the only way for him to deserve Kiyoi.

He does not even see the possibility that Kiyoi chooses to go against this pyramid system Hira's made up. This reality does not occur to him because it simply is not an option. He never thought of it as one, so it genuinely is unfathomable to him. If you went back in time and met someone from the 60s, you wouldn't expect them to be able to explain the internet to you because it doesn't exist in their world and their reality. It's the same idea. It's not that he doesn't want to; he genuinely can't and he also is not aware that he is "lacking" something.

I feel like he still believes Kiyoi is with him as a sort of act of pity or sheer boredom. Hira's purpose is to worship Kiyoi and to be this close to him, even being intimate with him, is making Hira into a sinner committing a mortal, unforgivable sin. He should not be doing what he is doing; he does not deserve it qua his position in the hierarchy of the world. He would need to change everything about himself in order to be a deserving mate for Kiyoi; which I think is what he means when he says he needs to do better. He needs to be better; being himself the way he is now will never be someone who could ever deserve anything good.

ON THE OTHER HAND... Kiyoi may also not have a healthy relationship with love and commitment, but he truly, innerly and deeply wants to be loved. He wants to be the most important one to someone, he wants to be wanted more than anything and anyone else. He initially yearned for the kind of blind fiery, almost violent love that fans give to their idols, because he just wanted to be seen by anyone at all. He grew up feeling like an after-thought and a second choice; his mom was too busy with work, then his younger siblings came around and they were more important than him, so no one paid any mind to him and he was important to no one. Now, with time passing, he knows to himself that he doesn't want just anyone, he wants Hira and Hira only. He tries to navigate the world that Hira lives in, but Kiyoi's person and his free will does not exist in it; how is one supposed to exist in a world where you are not even perceived as a human with feelings and flaws and wants and desires?

I think this show is going to challenge even more how unreliable a narrator Hira has been for the viewer: I personally think that the sole reason some view this show as toxic is because they do not realize that Hira is a terrible narrator. We are not by any means given the whole picture and the whole truth, which is what is shown in the last two episodes of season 1, and I believe it will be shown even more in this show because of a less narrow POV.

Anyways, I might very well be wrong - haven't read the second novel yet, so I'm just based it all off of ~vibes~ and a synopsis.

#utsukushii kare #my beautiful man season 2 #utsukare #hirakiyo #hira x kiyoi #美しい彼

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