#i am freaking. stuck. with it.

[petewentzisblack1312]

those posts that are like 'i scream and let out a single pure angelic note' are really 10/10. feeling that rn btw.

#dils declares #im worried having only paypal is turning people away from my business. #bc im finding that check out prompts people checking out without an account to. make an account. #and i dont. want that. #and i cant figure out if bigcartel lets you use just a card without a paypal bc if it doesnt and storenvy does #i am freaking. stuck. with it. #hhhhhhhhh. HHHHHH. #i have asked paypal bigcartel and fucking reddit my questions. waiting for a response. scared a little.

[theladyyavilee]

you all know the drill, corporate needs you to find the difference between these two pictures 🤣🤣🤣

#9-1-1 #911 spoilers #eddie diaz #buddie #(yes this goes in the tag because I am OBSESSED with the way eddie's entire body language changes at the revelation that buck is single #again like HELLO AND WHAT THE FUCK I know everyone has been freaking out over it but I am very much still stuck in this single frame) #because funstuff #I'm sorry this is not my best work but I couldn't stop thinking about this every since I first saw eddie's face like that last night and #this meme immediately popped into my head #I just had to wait until now to actually grab screenshots xD

[janetcage]

I’m titling this, Syzoth and Ashrah go to Walmart. Now accept the shenaniganary.

#I’ve had these two stuck in my head FOREVER #It’s okay tho bc I love them #petition to make everyone draw syzoth like a freak #i am so here for sharp teeth ashrah #I tried to make them both kinda unsettling #like I’m all here for freaky looking syzoth but I’m EQUALLY here for freaky looking Ashrah #and yes I gave Syzoth an overbite bc I could 🤗💖 #I’m gonna be tagging their ship name but you can honestly read this as romantic or platonic #syzoth #ashrah #mk reptile #angelscales #syshrah #syzoth x ashrah #ashzoth #ashrah x syzoth #mortal kombat #mk1 #mortal kombat 1 #mortal kombat fanart #mk fanart #my art

[b1dl0]

#fanart #ultrakill #ultratober #forced to draw on freaking stupid ipad couse I am stuck in hospital grrr #so last tober arts are gonna look like shit probably #I hope vm is happy today…

[forestgreenlesbian]

.

#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad #we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic #was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though #it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything #also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't #tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer #both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first #time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been #making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said #i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly #implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me #bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication #we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked #& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol #which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't #even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around #a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins #literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww #am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely #concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know

[abirddogmoment]

some thoughts about the pressures of trialing in dog sports and the emotional environment of trials, partially inspired by this post by the beautiful @mongrelization

this post happened to come at a time when I was at a decision point in my trial career with mav. he had just started refusing jumps (i thought it was a training issue at the time, i now know he was in pain) and he wasn't having fun. we were disconnected in the ring, with him choosing to go visit friends or just blow past obstacles without attempting them. it was frustrating and it was such a stark contrast from our training runs (not flawless but immeasurably better than our performances in the ring) and i was making jokes (as everyone does!) about mav being the worst, etc, etc.

except they weren't jokes.

they sounded like jokes and they even felt like jokes in the moment, but looking back i can confidently see that i was frustrated and resentful and the "lighthearted jokes" from other competitors and from myself were just fueling the fire. i saw darcies post shortly after a particularly frustrating trial where we just couldn't connect, i was trying to decide whether to push through and fix our issues or give up completely on agility.

her post wasn't an epiphany, i probably would've gotten there eventually, but her post that said, essentially hey its fucked up to make those jokes about your dog and its fucked up for people to make those jokes about your dog and thats not how a trial should be - something clicked. its NOT how it should be.

i took a break from trialing in everything and cut training way back and just took all the pressure off of mav while i got my internal emotional environment back on track. im a really competitive person and its hard to consciously dial that back, but more than that, it's legitimately embarrassing when things go wrong with people watching you. if your default is humor about it (like mine), its a hard shift to not make jokes about your dog when things go wrong. but its an important and necessary shift.

i started trialing him again after about 3 months off, very lightly. i stopped entering full weekends and opted to do half-days or only saturdays and he fucking THRIVED. i made time to meet all his needs before trials, i prioritized his happiness over technically correct courses, and i got over the embarrassment of excusing myself from a run if it was going downhill. i fixed my internal emotional environment and that fixed our disconnect and made every win more meaningful.

the thing is, i am 100% sure i would not have fixed my emotional environment if i was actively competing and practicing the same patterns. i absolutely had to take that step back to fix myself. you can't make meaningful change if youre still in the middle of it acting it out.

i lost out on trials with mav and that sucked so much in the moment. i had awful FOMO watching my friends compete and finish titles while we did little low-pressure walks at home. but ultimately i gained something so much more important, and looking back i can't bring myself to regret that at all.

#anyway here are some thoughts #its vulnerable dont look at me #i guess the tldr is: if youre stuck in the same pattern and things arent working #take a meaningful and legitimate break #(not a 'oh ill stop trialing and drill these skills' NO) #(an actual break where you take the pressure off you and your dog) #mav hurt himself from a freak accident that could happen to literally any dog that runs #if i had kept the pressure on i wouldve ruined the relationship we had built through training #take the break and take it for the right reasons (your and your dogs' emotional wellbeing) #you cant make meaningful change if you're actively practing your same patterns #i am so so so so so done with dogs lookjng miserable in the ring #if you are not having fun #of your dog is not having fun #if the vibe is 'frantic stressful manic' then i dont want to see it #(if you come at me about DrIvE i will block is2g this is not the post) #i want to see CONFIDENCE i want to see CONNECTION i want to see DELIGHT i want to see actual goodnatured HUMOR #i want to compliment you on the fsct that your dog looked happy #if (dog forbid) you lose your dog tomorrow #will looking back on your trial history bring you comfort? or will it make you sad because #you were always hoping that 'the next one will be better'? #and its okay if the answer is no #but if the answer is no - fix your shit #disclaimer this is not at anyone #this is a reflection of my personal Trauma #if you feel you must roast me about this consider: do not

[mitamicah]

Guys - please tell me to go out of käärijä aribnb before I book the room for the JO concert x'D

#I need you guys to literally tell me not to do it #I am so freaking tempted it is not good :'D #I only looked because of the discount today and then I got stuck #I want out but freaking hell I am tempted :'D #micahs foolery

[loveofastarvingdog]

does anyone know how to get out of here.

#timothy's txts. #i’m so stuck right now it’s freaking me out bad style… #my brain feels. gloggy. blorged. etc. #why am i so scared … prey animal core

[anquenin]

guy who doesn't have a type because maybe he doesn't know himself enough to know what he likes...

#ooc. #i am stuck on this #bullying him because i wanted to make a freaking bingo

[jellophoid]

I posted art and then got too scared but I started playing bg3 teehee

#/// #im stuck at the goblin castle trying to sneak attack all of them so I can be friends with halsin #but they're scaring me so bad #I also don't want my fellow triflings to be mass murdered #gale and wyll are charming me.... I am beingg charmed by them.... #I am playing an antisocial freak who secluded themself in the woods :)

[cantbelievemyself]

It's so freakin hard to sew up Zhongli's coat while making it as canon-accurate as possible. Like what in the laws of physics are Zhongli's sleeve cuffs?????

A longer explanation post to follow.

#i just needed to get it off my chest first #flips table #gosh i am so fed up with this boi #the amount of mental gymnastics i had to do to even know where to start #him and his freakingly difficult to sew coat #how does he even wash that thing #zhongli cosplay #zhongli #genshin impact #cosplay #ME HOY MINOY #ANGER #sewing #im going to sleep #tomorrow!me can figure it out #You know the outfit's gonna be rough when you're stuck on the freaking cuffs

[blushweddinggowns]

Some context expansions. I write explicit works and am angling for another Dom Eddie so that's a factor. And I don't do unhappy endings. I do morally ambiguous endings, but always happy for the boys.

Option 1. Rockstar Eddie falling for a completely oblivious Steve and trying to hide his fame to have a normal relationship because Steve has a celebrity vendetta. (Alternate Universe)

Option 2. Established Relationship Steddie dealing with the after effects of an overly affectionate, aggressive, and protective Kas Eddie. (In Universe)

Option 3. Married "ready to leave my wife for you" Steve cheating with "i can not handle that kind of pressure" Eddie, (In Universe)

Option 4. Adult siblings Robin and Eddie with single dad Eddie begging for a babysitter rec, which Robin gives in the form of her bestfriend that she's never let Eddie meet, on the one condition that you do NOT fuck her best friend. He does not follow this condition. (Alternate Universe)

Option 5. Pirate Eddie escorting cursed Prince Steve overseas for a possible cure to an unknown affliction, with explicit instructions to kill him if it doesn't work. And to ignore any singing you may here at night with him on board. And a whole other list of strange details. (Alternate Universe)

#i want to write dom eddie again but i am so stuck on my ammnesia fic #she's laughing at me stuck #the google doc is laughing at me #and i shouldn't start another wip because i have freaking five of them if you include the smurf account #but my creative process is whatever makes my brain move #and if none of what im doing is moving it then maybe its time for number 6 #unknown #bad ideas that i may not even ever do #steddie #steddie fic writing #i have too many ideas #writing these out helped me with my own bias though not gonna lie #cheaters and pirates are apparently a thing for me #steddie fic #steddie poll #poll

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#what do you call it when a mind is lacking in depth of m thought? is there a word for that? #because all my mind can do is spin in tiny circles. never push any further. no depth of thought #i cant even carry out this line of thought to completion in my head. i have to write it down like this or else it remains stuck in an eddy #its so frustrating. when my thoughts are pressured i spin so fast it feels like my head might pop but the thoughts never go anywhere #bc they just repeat the same god damn things all thr fucking time. they drag me around in circles. then when im feeling low or even like #normal. my head just feels empty and it freaks me out. i have no intersting thoughts to think. theres nothing behind my eyes #possibly its just my brain on 0cd. but how am i suppose to escape the spiral if its in my own head? i guess im just supposed to changr my #reaction to it. recognize what it is and let it go. but i dont like it #i just want to curl up on a warm tile floor. press myself into a quiet corner and not think anything #in an aquarium or a conservatory. specifically the conservatory in Columbus. i love that place #i went there for my birthday when i was like 12 bc i liked it so much. the botanically gardens and the butterflies and the stained glass #i dunno. i just like it there. ugh. im just tired #god. there was a really cool talk today and im always like im not that inattentive lol but then i cannot for the life of me follow a talk or #read a paper all thr way through. my short term working memory is just a tiny little cup. easy to overfill #so i miss mostly everything. its so frustrating #its all frustrating. whatever. back to the psychiatrist tomorrow. probably up thr lamicta1 dosage #bc im past where i was last time i had a reaction to it 💪 #i just wish i wanted to draw. drawing just makes me tired and impatient rn #unrelated

[sillybouquetoflillies]

i keep thinking i rly didnt go thru that much growing up, but idk, everytime i tell someone abt my life, they say i did and kinda just like sit in shock abt it. am i just internet brained or smth, or am i just dramatic?? i rly dont think ive earned a lot of the symtoms of someone who was traumatized that i have. or maybe i havent been in a safe place for long enough to process things??? i dunno. maybe someday far away in the future ill figure things out

#i let myself sit n accept that i did go thru smth.. maybe that i didnt totally remember or that i blurred out the details of n idk #i keep feeling like an imposter n like i shouldnt be feeling it. i didnt rly like how ive been acting #but like also i let a lot of stuff out of the box in my brain doing that n idk how 2 put it back or deal with it #so now i just feel like a half untangled mess with 0 stability bc in that 'growth n discovery' period i realized almost everyone in my life #wasnt someone i wanted 2 keep around #so now its rly just me n my bestie that r close n i keep everyone else at arms length #how tf did i get on rambling abt this omggg #ugh i am srsly such a mess n i cant find the root n i think thats whats freaking me out the most #i hate not being able 2 explain why im feeling a certain type of way or justify it in anyway #i just wanna feel okay n stable n be a fun person 2 be around again!!!! #i wanna be completely independent but like.... everything is so expensive n i have no interest in anything that would pay well #i wish my sw stuff would take off but i think im too messy 4 ppl 2 wanna stick around n also i dont think im super attractive unfortunately #I DUNNO #i dont have any answers atm n its freaking me out #i either wanna figure out how to be okay with not having answers or to get the answers and solve my problems #n i also dont wanna depend on other ppl 2 solve them for me #i just wanna be a whole.. well rounded person who can take care of themselves n do what i want #while also being a cute puppy thats rly rly rly fun 2 play with n is super helpful n supportive 2 the ppl it cares abt 🥰 #i am so sick of these silly dumb messy fears n emotions that keep me stuck in boring ruts #i wanna go out n have my own fun n be my own person n stop being so scared of everything!!!!! #its okay if things go bad!!!! its just more stories 2 tell ppl!!!! ppl love my stories!!!! ugh i just needa put myself out there #i just needa find smth fun 2 do that keeps me around fun ppl #i just dont know what yet #concerts r fun but idk no one super interesting is touring here rn n i need smth more frequent #ok i think this ramble is ovr #im rly sry if ur reading this!!!! i love u vry much n hope ur having a wonderful day!!!!!!!!!

[gibbyslounge]

things im still not over (as someone who was mostly inactive since mid 2021):

mask and change my clothes!! i dont think i was active on tumblr when change my clothes was released, but the way i ascended when i heard his soft sweet singing voice <33 mask is my favorite song of his and it still makes me emotional to think about what the song meant to him. his creativity is one of his greatest strengths and i am endlessly happy that he found a way to share more of himself in a way that he really enjoys

DREAM TEAM MEETUP tbh i really did not know if these days would ever come. its so so so crazy to think that florida man dream texas cowboy sapnap and british george are really all living together and existing in the same space. seeing them be THEM irl is still very surreal and makes me pause for a second without fail. so so much of the community centered around them not having met each other irl

DREAM FACE REVEAL!!!! this one i REALLY HONESTLY didnt know if it would ever come, just because the courage it takes to face reveal after building one of the largest audiences is fucking crazy. i thought that even if they did end up living together, dream might’ve found that he is happy to just be with them and not want to face reveal anymore. ig never doubt dream- he’s such a “go big or go home” type of person. i love him regardless but now he is also a big bear who wears cat beanies and has the prettiest eyes and im emotionally attached

dream pics before his face reveal with a big emphasis on suit pics, swt halloween, and strawberry dream. his white hoodie posey pose and the ones with the blanket and patches have a permanent home in my heart but these had me convulsing and i didnt get to gush about them here </3

#long tagsss #why does it feel like no time has passed yet SO MUCH has changed #i feel very very late to everything i think in some ways i am still kinda stuck in the past #it was just today where i officially really matched dream to his voice and that was rlly cool #he has always been very cute and dorky kind generous and open hearted #and you can see that when he interacts with people in irl streams too #ik i kinda left wo saying anything and sometimes i wish i had still been active to freak out abt everything w everyone #but basically it just got more stressful than fun bc my hpfx became unhealthy and i had to move for college and learn to be on my own #im back home now after transferring and my mental health is a lot better #sm has changed in my life too!! #being active here still makes me feel nostalgic abt all the old times though #however it really is just the beginning and i keep thinking abt how dream spoke abt things speeding up and im v v happy that i get to tunein #dreamblr

[apollos-boyfriend]

the mental image of wilbur being in the same category as the other champion’s kids is so funny to me. not just because he’s a grown adult and the other four are like. two teenagers and two toddlers. but also because in comparison he’s just a Normal Ass Dude with daddy issues. like obviously you have the demi-gods of ianita and hermes. but also whatever the fuck tubbo “figured out nuclear weapons from scratch at age 16” _sparklez and crumb “literal chaos incarnate” cuptoast-sparklez. it’s also important to mention that all four of them consider themselves the most normal and sane person there and treat WILBUR like the weirdo when he’s by far the most normal guy ever in comparison to their bullshit

#icarus speaks #thank you wybie for opening my eyes #this is the only thing i’ll be thinking of ever #the four of them are like ‘i am the most normal guy here’ while wilbur is like ‘how the fuck did i get stuck with these freaks’ #hermes can make it thunder by laughing too hard and wilbur can play a fucking guitar kind of good sometimes. how did he get here.