#i always say my family functioned like two little sets of siblings for the longest | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bigskydreaming · 3 years

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Headcanon that everyone within the family may think of Dick as the one most in their father’s favor, but Dick is keenly aware that the general public thinks of him as their father’s ‘Consolation Prize.’

After all, when from their perspective he’s the one Bruce raised since he was eight as his ward, with that dissolving when he was eighteen and very little perceived contact between the two of them for years after that, while Jason was adopted soon after being taken in and Dick was then later adopted years after Jason’s death, without any public fanfare.....

What does that look like other than Bruce ‘settling’ for the son who didn’t appear to be his first choice, just chronologically first, once he lost Jason but still needed/wanted an heir, as he was getting older and the general public still didn’t know yet how closely tied Tim was to the family or that it wouldn’t be long after this that Bruce adopted him too?

Now granted, you can definitely perceive the above as overly angsty and not the only way this situation was likely to be perceived outside the family, but my point is more that like.....nobody ever presumes that the general public are overly kind or generous in their views or assumptions about the Wayne family behavior. I just don’t buy that people assumed there was some optimistic explanation for the way things appeared here, or that people just went “oh its probably because the kid who grew up in that house the longest just doesn’t WANT to be adopted by the billionaire and have all the security that brings, and that’s also clearly why he lives in Bludhaven of all places and a shitty apartment building at that.”

I mean, no matter what WE the readers may know of Dick’s personal priorities and how little he cares about where he lives or that Bruce would have willingly paid for him to have a better place to live if he really wanted it, is that what people are most likely to assume, based on appearances?

Anyway, I’m just saying, I bet it bugs the crap out of Dick to hear his siblings casually refer to him as so obviously enjoying favored son status and being the clear apple of Bruce’s eye, as he’s like, cue internal monologue: gee, sure wish I was as confident of that back during the years he seemed to want nothing to do with me.

Like I’ve said before, I think Dick isn’t actually super insecure and his insecurities such as they are mostly revolve around how his family and friends perceive him, not the general public.....BUT I do think that with as high profile as the Waynes are, there’s no way that nobody picked up on how little contact Dick and Bruce had in the continuities where they literally went over a year without even speaking to each other....and like, felt free to draw their own conclusions.

And I do think this is also part of why I default to thinking a lot of canon takes and headcanons tend to gloss over how shitty Gotham public could be in their views/treatment of Dick. Like just because Dick was basically trained from birth to be able to work a room and entertain people while in their direct presence, that didn’t actually make him ‘one of them’ in their eyes, and I reeeeeeaally don’t think you can actually underestimate the pettiness and jealousy one percenters feel when they see someone they inherently view as lesser than them - as they would’ve viewed both Dick and Jason due to their lower class births - like....’leap frogging’ over them into greater wealth via being taken in by Bruce.

Like, idk, maybe it just comes from having been a scholarship kid who went to a richy rich private high school attended mostly by the children of senators and hotel-chain owners, lol, but like.......I can not for a second picture Gotham’s upper class actually LIKING Dick or being as charmed by him as they frequently are depicted as, just because Dick knows how to be charming and likable. Like they might play it that way when in public at a gala, for appearances or whatever....but the second he turned around they’d be badmouthing him at juuuuust a high enough volume to ensure he’d be able to HEAR them but not be able to call them on it without it looking like he went back and provoked a scene over something ‘nobody else around them heard them say’ or whatever. Just to make sure that no matter how well he came across in public social settings, he never ‘forgot his place’ or whatever or forgot that they were all too aware of it too.

And also also, it always kinda bemuses me that as much focus as the Court of Owls and Talons get in Dick’s narratives in canon and fic, that we’ve barely ever seen any examination of what the Court retroactively means for Dick’s years growing up around upper class Gothamites who likely included more than a few Court members.....like, we KNOW years later that like, all along there were these people who even without knowing who Batman and Robin were, like, knew Dick Grayson was their ‘Gray Son’ and intended to claim him as their weapon someday, and you can’t tell me that wouldn’t have factored into how they viewed and interacted with a child and teenage Dick Grayson as they attended many of the same social gatherings and functions. OR that Dick himself in the aftermath of the Court of Owls reveal, didn’t look back at his OWN childhood and reflect on how many creepy or uncomfortable encounters he had with various socialites that left him feeling decidedly skeeved out and not a fan of how they were looking at him or things they might have said to him, thinking themselves oh so clever for alluding to things he had no idea about......like, I imagine there had to be more than a few encounters from his younger years that always stuck with him, and after the Court of Owls revelation like....looked TOTALLY different to him, especially if he happened to know for sure that some of those very people were in fact Court members. BUT I DIGRESS.

All in all though it all circles back to the same thought for me.....people might have been polite to Dick’s face when he was growing up, but they most likely had plenty of shit to say the second his back was turned, and I doubt they were afraid to be overheard by him. Especially in his later years, once people noticed how distant he and Bruce seemed to be, and thus perceived that as meaning that nineteen year old Dick Grayson wasn’t as ‘protected’ by Bruce the way he was when he was younger.....meaning the people who were most jealous of Dick’s ‘catapulting’ up the social ladder and eager to knock him down a peg because of that, like....probably would have looked at the relative lack of contact between he and Bruce as far as anyone could publicly tell, and felt emboldened enough by that to up their snide whisper game with shit like gossipping about how oh, the Grayson boy may be back in Gotham again, but we all know he’s just poor Brucie’s consolation prize anyway, why, if he really cared all that much about the boy, he’d hardly have ever let him run off to Bludhaven of all places, without even making sure to staple the advantages and opportunities granted by the Wayne name to him the way he made sure to right off the bat with the younger one.....

So yeah. There’s my angsty musings on how Dick likely is perceived by Gotham public at large, and how his interactions with them - especially when NOT around Bruce and Jason and the rest of his family....probably very much does not match up with what they assume public perception of Dick is, given that in their eyes ‘everybody loves Dick Grayson,’ but in Dick’s experience ‘everybody may be charmed by Dick Grayson while he’s doing his best to be charming,’ but don’t mistake that for acceptance. Not when Gotham’s public are just as likely to dismiss him as the second choice Wayne heir and consolation prize to make themselves feel more important/elevated than him the second their own insecurities have them feeling intimidated by the wealth, power and prestige Dick does actually share in by virtue of being part of Bruce’s family.

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ramzawrites · 3 years

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Wherever the world takes us Part 1 - A SBI!Reader insert

Pairings: none Characters included: Philza, Wilbur, Tommy, Tubbo, Cpt Puffy, Schlatt, Captain Sparklez, (mentioned) Fundy Warnings: small mention of death Series: Yes, planned slow updates but this happens in a slight AU world of the official lore of the dsmp and follows along the plot only this time the reader gets included as the middle hybrid child of the SBI Part 2

Summary: A small introduction to the SBI family dynamic including the reader! Today is Techno’s big day at the local festival! He get’s to participate in a fighting tournament but until that happens there is still a ton of time to somehow still get into trouble, isn’t there?

Word count: 4380

Shapeshifters aren’t as rare as many people think. In fact many carry that gene but not everyone ends up showing the properties of one. If you have the active gene you may show first changes during your early childhood which then stretches out until your late teens where the changes will stop resulting in the persons usual animal like form. These changes can range from a whole body covered in fur to having goat like eyes or just horns on their head.

As far as scientists know there isn’t a real reason as to what the final form will be since Shapeshifters who are directly related to one another can have complete and drastically different forms to each other. Though an old myth has been going around for as long as people know that the form a Shapeshifter takes is a result of their subconscious, something that mirrors their true self. Sadly due to this belief many Non-Shifters hold stereotypes and prejudice towards them.

Philza was a Shapeshifter himself. As a kid two stubs slowly appeared at his back and settled in over the years as beautiful huge black wings that he could use for takeoff and a bit for flying but mostly functioned better for gliding around. He used these wings to later travel around the world, learning everything about it and training himself.

At some point he did settle down again and ended up fathering four children alone of whom two showed Shapeshifter properties as well.

There were the twins Technoblade and Wilbur. Technoblade showed from an early age on a deeper interest in fighting. Always asking to learn more than the self-defense techniques their father was teaching them, so Philza took the time to teach him everything he knew. Gifting him later on a proper iron sword which Techno then used to train almost daily with. Philza later had to put mending on that sword since it was chipped and scratched in a short time over heavy use. He is also one of the two children of Philza who ended up being a Shapeshifter. They first noticed when two of his teeth in his lower jaw tended to peek out of his mouth. Over the years these two teeth turned into full blown tusks, flappy pink ears would appear on his head, his hair slowly turned into a soft pink, as well as bristle like fur begun growing on his arms. It were the characteristics of a pig as they soon realized.

Wilbur the younger of the twins by two minutes was more interested in music and books. Philza gifted him a guitar the same time he gave Techno his first sword. From that point on it was a rare thing if you didn’t see Wilbur’s guitar around him. Either on his person or laying close by him. Over time he got really proficient with the instrument and begun writing amazing songs as well as singing them himself.

The middle child Y/N was the more mellow of the whole bunch though this didn’t mean much in the context of the whole family. While they happily took part in whatever trouble their siblings got up to they were at the end the first person that would try to help solve these troubles as well and took care of any wounds. To that end they soon learned how to grow their own herbs to make medicine. This was something Philza taught them. Both would spent a ton of time in the garden, so much so, that the garden was dubbed Y/N’s and Dad’s garden. Techno would sometimes help out as well but that was a more rare occurrence. Y/N was the second kid with the active Shapeshifter gene. Just like their father, two stubs appeared at their back that too would turn into huge black wings. Y/N still remembered how perplexed but proud Philza was when he understood what was happening. They didn’t know what they expected from their father but this reaction wasn’t it. But they weren’t mad about it.

The youngest of the family was Tommy and he was the number one reason why the kids got into trouble in the first place. He would wake up, make weird plans and rope the others into it as well. Wilbur was the first he would usually try to recruit to which Techno then would reluctantly join knowing that if the two are together they will need help later on. Getting Y/N on board was pretty easy as well. It was either a thing of them knowing they will one hundred percent get hurt so best to join in now or they were feeling particularly chaotic that day and wouldn’t even hesitate to join.

Back when they all lived together in their old cottage home their daily lives would always start in the same way.

Philza would be the first awake. He would wake the children up and continue downstairs to work on breakfast for everyone.

There was no real order to who would be the first downstairs for food but it was always Y/N who would be the last to join the group. Moving in front of their designated chair only to stretch before properly sitting down.

“Ew! Gross! Your wing touched my food!” Wilbur exclaimed angrily, pulling the plate with his food closer to himself and farther away from his sibling.

Y/N rolled their eyes “I’m not poisonous, Wilbur.”

“Still gross.” He muttered more to himself as he reluctantly took a bite from his toast.

Phil eyed the two but looked back down to his food and coffee “Your wings are getting pretty big. I’m sure it won’t take long until you can do more than just gliding about.”

“So, that means you can teach them to fly soon?” Tommy was the one to ask surprisingly. Sure, that was on Y/N’s mind as well so they didn’t mind Tommy saying what they thought but they still felt like it was a bad sign and a call for trouble though they couldn’t think how nor did they care enough to find out.

Philza raised one of his eyebrows, obviously taking note of that fact as well. It was something you learned to look out for once you spend enough time with Tommy. “I’m not sure how soon but I think so, yeah.”

“Cool.” Was all Tommy remarked. He then proceeded to stare at his food so his family would get their suspicion off of him. Acting as if he didn’t just figuratively plant a huge red flag on the table with the words “I have a plan!”.

Y/N on the other hand couldn’t help to smile. They were excited for the eventual day when Philza could finally teach them how to fly. For the longest time now they have only learned to use their wings to glide and got really good at changing directions while doing so. Taking care of their wings was already a pain so they wanted to get at least something good out of having them in the first place and being able to properly fly is a huge plus since getting into positions where you could actually glide around was a difficult and a bothersome thing.

Philza sighed choosing to ignore Tommy and instead turned to look at Wilbur and Y/N “What is your plan today? Want to join me and Techno when we go into town for the tournament?”

After a few seconds of confused expressions between the two Wilbur suddenly shouted “Oh! Techno’s tournament! Of course! I wanna see him beat up other people for a change!”

Techno snorted “Really feeling the support here right now, bro.”

“I’m guessing you both are coming too?” Philza was now addressing the other two of his kids.

Both were fast and eager to agree. Wilbur was right. Usually Techno tried sparring with his siblings though using the word sparring was maybe an overstatement. He would mercilessly beat them up and complain they didn’t last long enough. At rare times where all of them were bored enough they would play a game of >Who can last the longest against Techno<. Y/N really wasn’t too big a fan of this game since they ended up being the only one who would address the wounds later including their own since they didn’t trust the others to properly apply a band aid.

From this point on the breakfast was more alive than before. Tommy and Wilbur would constantly ask questions to Techno about who he will be fighting or how everything will work. To which he all just gave a very non-committal “I dunno”.

After they all cleaned up the breakfast table, they got ready and grabbed everything they needed.

The town wasn’t super far away but it was a long enough walk that it would be inconvenient to get back for things you might have forgotten.

Techno grabbed his sword while Wilbur made sure to take his beloved guitar with him. Y/N made sure to grab all kinds of medicine and bandages with them. They knew Techno will get treated at the tournament should he get hurt but they felt better if they brought some stuff with them as well. Tommy on the other hand made sure to grab all kinds of things including a few pages of paper, pens, string and more. Philza wanted to just write it down to Tommy probably meeting up with Tubbo in town and doing harmless crafts but the chances were slim.

As they made their way to the tournament and Philza was preaching to them to not cause any trouble since there would be a lot of people there today, Y/N soon noticed how Techno would nervously play around with the hilt of his worn out sword.

They affectionately put their arm around their older brother for a short side hug, including putting their wing around him “You’ll do fine. I know it. Don’t worry too much and just imagine you are beating one of us up.”

Technoblade had to roll his eyes at that “I’ll try to take that advice to heart.”

As they arrived in town the kids looked around in awe. Everywhere were stalls set up selling food or little decorative things or toys. People where weaving in and out between stalls, loudly talking with each other. Laughter and yells filled the air.

In the middle of the town square there was a huge box marked on the ground. This is where the fights would happen. As far as Techno explained the rules were simple. Get your opponent on their back, get them out of the box or beat them unconscious. Tommy was absolutely loving the idea of Techno beating all of his opponents unconscious and said he wouldn’t take any other result as acceptable.

“Alright kiddos. Techno and I have to talk with the organizer. You three can go and have some fun but you have to promise me a few things. Whatever you guys do stay together! Don’t talk to strangers and as soon as the fights start you come over. I will find you then, okay? I will only let you guys go if you agree to this.”

“I can still try to find Tubbo, right?” Tommy asked.

“Of course but only if you all stay together.” He was looking at Wilbur when he said the last part. This meant Wilbur was the boss for today. Well until they met up again with their dad.

Wilbur put his hands on each shoulder of his younger siblings “We will! Don’t worry dad!”

Philza gave them a last nod before walking off. Before Techno followed him he looked at the three “Don’t… cause too much trouble. At least for me so nothing happens to the tournament.” With that Technoblade turned around and followed Philza closely.

“Well, what should we start with?” Y/N asked their brothers.

Tommy threw his arms in the air “Tubbo!”

Wilbur laughed “Alright. We’ll try to find your Tubbo. I’m sure he and his siblings should be around here as well.”

Tubbo was Tommy’s best friend and honestly he hangs around their home so much they almost consider him a family member as well. He had an older sister Puffy and an older brother Schlatt though. They were a curious case. All three of them carried the active Shapeshifter gene and all three begun growing horns, their ears turned into that of goats and they all had the horizontal iris’.

Y/N liked to spend time with Puffy. Just like Y/N Puffy too acted more like a caretaker to her siblings which the two soon bonded over while Schlatt and Wilbur soon hit it off as well. It was actually quite amusing to see them interacting since Wilbur was known for loving art and freedom. Schlatt on the other hand tried to see how he can scam the most people in the most effective manner in the shortest amount of time. Trying to turn in a profit at every turn. You wouldn’t immediately think they would end up being such good friends.

The three were raised by their father as well who everyone just referred to as Captain Sparklez though his real name was Jordan. He coincidentally also helped with setting up this little festival for the town.

Tommy suddenly took a deep breath in as he cupped his hands around his mouth “Tubbo!”

Wilbur furrowed his brows “Tommy, there are a ton of people around here! There is no way he heard you.”

“Tommy! Over here!” a different voice called out, away from all the stalls and people.

Wilbur and Y/N looked surprised while Tommy almost proudly smirked at them. The bond Tommy and Tubbo had was something else.

Together the three ran through the crowd to finally meet up with Tubbo and apparently his siblings. As a greeting Tubbo softly headbutted Tommy while Puffy did the same to Y/N. Schlatt never did this with Wilbur. Said he might have goat like characteristics but he is still more human than goat hence why he didn’t do this whole headbutting thing. It has been a whole ordeal with Wilbur once where he demanded to get a headbutt from Schlatt as well for a greeting. After enough prodding and being a general nuisance Schlatt decided to straight up headbutt him as hard as possible almost knocking him out and gave him a good bruise on his forehead. Wilbur never asked for another headbutt greeting since then.

Y/N gave Puffy an additional hug, making sure to wrap their wings around her as well “I’m glad to see you Puffy!”

“So am I! I heard Techno is taking part in the tournament, isn’t he?”

Schlatt was for some reason cackling at that “Oh I bet he will win, won’t he? This would be the best time for some betting!”

Tommy, Y/N and Wilbur all nodded saying things like “Of course he will win. My brother is the best”

Soon the group begun to fall into their usual banter. Tommy and Tubbo were doing something next to them, only sometimes getting back into the conversation. Schlatt and Wilbur on the other hand were talking about how they could start bets and maybe earn some money because surely Techno will win. Y/N and Puffy listened in only to interject at times to root them back down. Both made sure they wouldn’t end up doing anything too stupid, though they too were in on it and ready to help out.

In the end the whole group was sitting on the ground and writing their plan down on the paper Tommy brought with him as suddenly a loud voice boomed over the crowd announcing that the fighting tournament will soon begin.

Tubbo looked absolutely horrified “No! I didn’t have a chance to check out the candy yet!”

Schaltt sighed and gave Tubbo a reassuring pat on his back “Don’t worry kiddo they will still be here after the tournament.”

With that the group begun walking to the marked place for the fighting. All the while Schlatt was grumbling that this was way too early and he couldn’t act on his betting plans.

“There are a lot of people.” Y/N noted as they came closer to their goal.

Indeed there were a surprising amount of people standing around the place. If it was difficult to get through the crowd before, now it seemed almost impossible. It was almost comical how the crowd seemingly turned into a wall of steel as the announcer begun his speech in order to greet all the people watching.

“Ugh, I can barely see anything.” Wilbur whined as he moved on his toes. Wilbur was the tallest of the group so when he had problems seeing anything Y/N instinctively already gave up. Maybe one day it would be the other way around seeing as they all were still growing but for now this was the reality of the situation.

Tommy was frantically jumping into the air trying to see anything that happened. He didn’t say it but he wanted to make sure to not miss out on any second of Techno’s fights. He was his older brother after all.

“Hey, Schlatt?” Tubbo almost whispered as he tugged at his older brother’s shirt.

Schlatt barely made any proper attempt to look over the crowd probably still busy thinking about his lost business opportunity. He tilted his head down to look at Tubbo “Hm?”

Suddenly Tubbo’s unsure expression turned into a serious one. While Wilbur, Tommy and Y/N were confused about this, Puffy begun to snicker.

“Aw, come on!” Schlatt drawled out but as soon as Tubbo got his pouting face out it was over for him.

He rolled his eyes and knelt down. With the help of Puffy, Tubbo was soon sitting on Schlatt’s shoulders, overlooking the crowd.

For some reason Tommy looked absolutely betrayed “This is unfair!”

“And why is that?” was all that Tubbo asked smugly. He was grabbing onto Schlatt’s horns which lead to him involuntarily yanking around his head whenever Tubbo himself moved around. Annoyed Schlatt gave his younger brother a playful slap on his arm as a sign to knock it off.

Tommy crossed his arms “Hey, Wilby! Wait no, I’m not a child anymore.”

Before Wilbur could even do his obligatory cooing whenever Tommy used his nickname or before Y/N could remind him that he was indeed still a child and younger than Tubbo he turned towards them instead.

“Y/N! You carry me and fly up that is way cooler than sitting on someone’s shoulders like some two year old.”

This took Y/N quite by surprise “What?”

“Dad said you are ready to fly and you spent like most of your free time already gliding or flying about so like basically the same thing right?”

“No! This is completely different! Besides I’m pretty sure my wings right now are barely able to carry my own weight! To that I have no idea how to take off from ground!”

Tommy’s bottom lip begun to quiver. Both Wilbur and Y/N knew it was fake but it was still a weakness for the two.

Y/N tried grabbing Wilbur’s sleeve for support but he was already looking at them with sad eyes himself “I mean Tommy just wants to see his big brother win, which is understandable right? At least worth a try?”

It was Y/N’s time to look betrayed but their expression soon got exchange by that one of defeat “One… One try. If that doesn’t work out I will give up.”

So the group walked back away from the crowd to have more space, Tubbo still happily sitting on Schlatt’s shoulders. He looked annoyed but Puffy knew that he was just as happy as she was that Tubbo had obviously a good time.

Y/N would spent a few minutes just trying to take off the ground on their own saying that they would first need to be a bit in the air before being able to grab Tommy. Wilbur was just watching with an amused smile on his face. Oh he was almost certain how this will end in disaster but he was just too curious to see how exactly.

After multiple running starts Y/N managed to get a few feet off into the air, flying directly towards Tommy so they could pick him up. They more or less bodychecked into their younger brother but still managed to pick him up and for a short moment it looked like the two were indeed a few feet above the height of the crowd.

Tommy was screaming partially out of fear but partially out of excitement. Y/N was so concentrated on flying and holding onto Tommy they didn’t even try to look out for Techno on the ground. They stayed semi stable in the air for good two seconds before both suddenly noticed they were losing altitude rapidly.

Now both were screaming as Y/N desperately tried to glide towards the hay bails that the town put up as decoration but with the added weight of Tommy they still plummeted towards the ground pretty fast.

The next thing Y/N remembers was that they were surrounded by hay and that their whole body was feeling heavy and sore. Tommy was groaning as he tried his best to get out of the hay and off their sibling while Y/N first made sure to calmly fold their wings back against their back as they slowly got out of the hay as well.

Suddenly two strong hands grabbed the still disoriented Y/N and helped them properly back to their feet only to be met by an angry looking Philza.

“What on Ender were you thinking?”

“Oh hey dad!” Y/N croaked out as they avoided any eye contact with him. Instead they were busy plucking hay out of their wings. Due to the fall there was a lot of hay trapped between feathers, there were also a few bent feathers that felt uncomfortable at best.

Tommy was sheepishly standing next to them also avoiding eye contact.

“I told you to get to the tournament and wait for me! I told you guys I would make sure to find you so why did you do whatever the hell you just did?” Philza rambled off.

“Yeah guys why did you two do that?” Wilbur was now approaching his family as well, including their other three friends who followed suit.

Y/N let go of their wing as they turned towards their older brother with an angry frown “You encouraged us! Don’t act like you are the only innocent person here! Aren’t you as our big brother supposed to stop us or something when we are stupid?”

Philza sighed “Okay, we deal with this later but at least tell me why?”

“We wanted to see Techno but we couldn’t get past the crowd!” Tommy answered.

“My fights will only start in like half an hour dude. Didn’t you guys listen to the announcements?”

To their surprise Technoblade appeared from behind Philza. He looked bored but still had a somewhat smug smile on his face. Who wouldn’t feel a tiny big smug when your younger siblings gets into trouble with dad for something that was absolutely their fault and you were luckily this time no part of it.

“You three are in trouble! We will go back so Techno won’t be too late for when it’s his turn but once we are back home it’s three weeks of chores for all of you.”

This earned him a murmur of “Okay, dad.” And “But we didn’t do anything bad!”

After that the day ended up pretty normally. They had their trouble for the day so they continued on with following Philza back to the tournament place. He made sure that all the kids had the best places in front so they could watch as Techno absolutely destroyed the other kids.

Jordan joined them as well. Philza didn’t spend any time waiting on telling him how Y/N and Tommy crashed into one of his decorations. He wasn’t angry but did chew out his own kids a little bit for not even attempting to stop them.

For some reason this was the day Y/N always fondly thought back on. They got into their typical trouble that day but also spend a ton of time with their family and friends back in their hometown. Enjoying seeing Techno beat others up and of course winning the tournament to which then Phil and Jordan bought the kids a ton of candy from the stalls.

Yes, they loved their family so dearly and would do anything for them.

So when a letter arrived from Wilbur that informed them that a few days ago a friend betrayed him which led to him losing his first life of three as well for Tommy, Tubbo and their nephew Fundy it felt like their heart got ripped out of their chest.

Y/N was still living at their old childhood home with Philza but both were only rarely at home. The two traveled around the world independently from each other using the old cottage as a place to rest in between. Wilbur probably addressed the letter knowing that this was the most reliable way to contact his family.

Reaching Technoblade who was training out of country was almost impossible at this point in time.

Y/N got out a piece of paper and wrote a letter for their father.

“Dad, I’m going to visit Wil and Tommy. Love, Y/N”

This was all that needed to be said.

They put the letter including the letter from Wilbur visibly on the table so Philza would see it as soon as he got back home. They did this sometimes in order to talk to Philza as well as the other way around so both were always looking out for messages on the table once they got back home.

Y/N grabbed their old netherite sword they got way back from Techno as a gift and begun thinking about what to take with them for the flight towards L’Manberg. If they fly it would only take a few days to reach the place but they also couldn’t carry a lot of things with them.

“Hell of a reason to visit your family after a long time, huh.”

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chaoswriting92 · 4 years

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Games we shouldn’t Play

Chapter Four: hoping for better days

Lunch rolled around and you’d gotten a few texts from Jin apologizing and one or two from Jaebeom asking if you were alright and about what happened when he got off the elevator. You hadn’t answered either of them. It was too much. Jackson had come over up to ask how Friday went right as lunch time rolled around and you didn’t say anything to him either. Jasmine was the one left to explain about everything that happened this morning and yesterday and after that even Jackson. The group’s friend who was almost always happy and energetic was down on his mood.

You made it to the cafeteria and Jaebeom was waiting for you, smiling and waving from his table a second tray of food already waiting on you and you felt better about that. He wasn’t making a move to join you at the door just waiting patiently for you to come to him and you did. Walking past a few of the models and Hyeji and her inner circle head held high to go sit by him and try to let all your worries from earlier dissipate. You sat down and bit into the crisp red apple smiling at the fond look he was giving you and the sweet taste.

“Did I mention earlier that you look beautiful?” He leaned in and whispered.

“Hmm… No, I don't think you did. I remember you calling me beautiful, and saying I looked stunning, but not telling me I looked beautiful.” You commented falling into that easy feeling that you’d had Friday and Saturday when the two of you had gone out by yourselves. The upset from this morning still stung around the edges, but what he’d said on the elevator was right. You had discussed this and you had a plan. None of that involved giving up on Jaebeom just because Seokjin came around.

“Hey Y/n, JB.” Yugyeom came over from where he had grabbed his lunch and sat down at the table. He was followed shortly after by Sooran and Jinyoung, then Jasmine, Jackson, Youngjae and Mark followed. Finally the rest of you were joined by BamBam who always seemed to take the longest to grab his food, but it didn’t surprise you all that much because he was usually held up talking to Lisa since she sat at one of the other model’s tables close by to the check out counter and vending machines.

“Hey Bambam, how did that video presentation from this morning go?” You asked, sticking your fork into the salad that had been sitting in front of you.

“It went well. They really liked the track and thought that Lisa was a good choice of model. Thanks for suggesting her. The even said that they want her to be the permanent model for their campaign.” He said taking a bite of his pizza when he was done speaking.

“Hey y/n. Is that a new dress?” One of the models who had been sitting at HyeJi’s table had passed by your table to go over to where the waste bins were and on her way back seemed to notice the dress you were wearing.

“Oh, yeah, it’s from a new design series I was working on,” you replied.

“Is there going to be a photo shoot for that series?” She asked curiously.

“Maybe sometime soon. I still have a few more pieces I’m working on and some changes since the advanced copies of the designs were shared I have to change some things.”

“I thought it looked familiar. That’s the dress Hyeji was gushing about. She had a picture of the design sketch on her phone. She said you were making it specially for her. You know, I knew she was lying. If you need a new model for any shoots let me know, okay? By the way congratulations not everyone can leave a catch like Seokjin and land on their feet.” She eyed JB up and down making it obvious what she meant and both of you almost choked on the respective drinks and food you were eating.

“I.. uh...Thanks. If I need a new model I will let you know.” You placated her and tried to recover from her comment and she nodded satisfied that she may have replaced Hyeji as your favorite and that she got something she could hold over Hyeji’s head in the meantime.

“What did she mean by that?” Youngjae asked.

“Probably just that word has traveled about me and Jabeom dating.” You muttered like it was common knowledge and continued to eat.

“Oh okay. Wait when did you two start dating?” Youngjae asked, confused.

“Saturday. We went out for breakfast trying to see if we could really get to know each other after the fun we had Friday, thanks for buying dinner by the way Jackson.” You said.

“Technically we went out for Bingsu Saturday not breakfast.” JB countered.

“Same thing. After that I helped him dye his hair and we kind of just decided that we’d give this a try.” You finished.

“And you said we should let them find someone else on their own.” Jackson said smugly and gave a pointed look at Mark who rolled his eyes again. You and Jaebeom gave each other a knowing look. This was actually working. They all seemed to believe you. The pieces were falling into place.

The rest of lunch was spent with your friends asking you questions about Saturday until you finally told them the story leaving out a few key points of course.

***Last Saturday Afternoon***

After leaving the Bingsu place the two of you bought the hair dye JB had wanted and went back to his apartment blessedly not running into Jin or anyone else. Jaebeom’s apartment suited him. It was cozy and sort of intimate and looked like it was lived in and loved in the time he’d been here. The door bathroom traveled through his bedroom and it took everything in you to keep from laughing as he scrambled to pick up the mess of laundry lying around and had blushed a little in your direction and apologized. You had tried several different scenarios out in your head for how to go about dying his hair without staining his shirt and finally let out a sigh.

“This is hopeless. Take your shirt off.” You ordered and he got a sly grin on his face.

“I thought we were dying my hair,” he teased.

“I will leave right now and you can call Jackson and explain why you were about to have me dye your hair”

“I’m just kidding, y/n, please don’t leave me like this.” He grabbed onto the soft denim of the shorts you were wearing. His knuckles brushed the outside of your thigh and your eyes met his for an almost electric moment before you shook your head, made a little uncomfortable coughing noise and went back to mixing the hair dye.

“I’m... You should... Unless you want your shirt stained I’d suggest either changing or taking it off,” you told him.

“Right, I’ll… I’ll just go change. I have an old t-shirt I use for cleaning. That should be alright. You just keep mixing I guess.” He left the bathroom and went looking through his room for the shirt and you let out a sigh and looked at your reflection in the mirror not meaning to but noticing where JB was standing with his back turned to you as he slipped his shirt he’d been wearing over his head and you found yourself transfixed by the flawless expanse of tan skin revealed as he slid the shirt over his head. His long hair just barely grazed the space between his shoulder blades on his neck and you found yourself imagining what would be like to feel that skin under your fingertips. When he quickly began slipping the new shirt over his head it seemed to snap you out of your daydream and you had shook your head squeaking in panic when you realized your hair had dipped into the pot of hair dye in your distraction and sat it down scraping it off in a determined fashion with a tissue that you pulled from a nearby box. Jaebeom didn’t even bother to hide his laughter.

“We could have matched.” He said and you swatted at him before tugging him down into the seat and putting gloves on so you could apply the bleach to his hair. Things were quiet while you did this. He watched you as you focused on what you were doing. Your brows knit together and concentration tugged the corners of your mouth down in this cute little frown. He found himself imagining what your reaction would be if he kissed the little creases you had forming there and mentally cursed. The two of you weren’t really dating he couldn’t just take advantage of thoughts like that any time he wanted and you were his friend there should be a line. That did remind him though. He cleared his throat a little and you pulled away satisfied with the work you’d done on the bleach. Now all you both had to do was wait for it to do its job. He tapped your side where you had leaned across and sat the bowl and brush down then you turned to look back at him.

“We should probably decide what our boundaries are for this whole thing.” Jaebeom said.

“What do you mean?” You sat down on the edge of the tub and shifted so the two of you were face to face.

“Like for what would cross the line and be a deal breaker.”

“Oh. Right. No meeting parents or siblings unless it is absolutely unavoidable. The last thing either of us needs is our families getting attached to the idea of us being a thing and getting hurt too.” You said setting a timer on your phone for when to rinse the bleach.

“Fair enough. Um… no sex. I think that would complicate things.” Jaebeom said.

“Really? You think sex would complicate things. I would never have guessed.” You teased.

“Listen here smart ass.” He chastised you for the comment and you let out a full and jovial laugh tilting your head back and exposing your bare skin at your neck and creating a clear line to the v of your shirt to his eyes. He was starting to already be glad he set that rule, but also beginning to curse himself for it. You were still as beautiful as always, but for some reason even more enticing as the realization sunk in that you were essentially untouchable now due to the rule he’d just put in place.

“Okay um… We should go to every public function that requires a plus one together if it means one of the others will see us.” You said drawing him back to the topic at hand.”

“Does that mean I am driving you to and from work from now on too?” He asked and you nodded.

“I can give you gas money if you need it, but it would look weird if you let me ride the bus when you have a car.”

“Fair. Um… couples clothes or accessories?” He asked.

“Not unless you think we need to unnecessary money being spent if you ask me.” you replied.

“Not yet. If it gets too hard to keep the ruse up then maybe.” he said thoughtfully.

“Group dates?”

“Probably unavoidable, but only if someone asks.” He answered.

“You just want me to have all my attention focused on you. I should probably borrow some of your clothes too.” You teased then suggested the latter as an afterthought.

“What? Why?” The thought of you in his clothes with your small stature and how his hoodies would probably fall about at the same length as the shorts you were wearing now effectively making you look like you were wearing nothing underneath them was a particular brand of torture he hadn’t even imagined when he had been factoring in things that would complicate your friendship.

“Wouldn’t it be odd for a girlfriend to not at least have one piece of her boyfriend’s clothes?” You asked.

“Fine but I’ll pick it.” He said.

“Deal.” You agreed.

“Y/n are you sure you still want to-” The timer beeped and interrupted what he was going to say. You pulled the shower hose down and sat on the edge of the tub switching the water to the hose rather than the faucet and gesturing with your free hand for JB to lean back across your lap from his seat on the lid of the toilet his hair dangled down now a whitish shade of yellow. You were right to buy the toner because you were going to need to take the yellow out after you dried it so that his hair wouldn’t turn green. Not that you really thought he’d mind, but he’d wanted blue and you weren’t going to be the one to ruin it.

A few more hours passed and his hair was finally a dark blue with his black brown roots poking out of the top. It looked good on him and you smiled and nodded your approval after drying his hair a final time.

“Thanks, y/n. I owe you one.”

“No you don’t this is the least I can do for you helping me with the whole Jin and Hyeji situation.”

“That’s another thing we need to talk about. What are we going to do Monday. Jin is going to see us there.”

“I’m going to avoid him like I’ve been doing I guess.”

“That’s not going to work forever, y/n.”

“Then what do you think I should do?”

“I think if he bothers you, then you should stay by my side. We don’t have to talk to him, but if you stay by me maybe he will probably get the point and at least you will know you have someone there for you.”

“And if that doesn’t work? What if the two of us get in an argument or you two get in a fight?”

“If he and I get in a fight I can handle it, but if you two argue then when it’s over the two of us will get back together and have a good day and you will act like nothing happened. It will be hard, but he deserves to see you happy without him and so do you if we’re being honest. If at any point you are sad, call my name, do you think you can do that? ”

“We’re not being honest JB, that’s the whole point of this, but I can try anyway.”

“Just trust me. We can make this work, Y/n I know it.”

“Okay… well I guess since we’re done with your hair I’ll get going. I need to clean the extra dye off of me anyway.”

***Present***

“So you’re telling me that you spent the entire day in his apartment and nothing happened?” Jasmine had been pestering you since the two of you got back from lunch with the others.

“Pretty much,” you replied. You walked over to the different bolts of fabric selected a few and nodded when you were satisfied with the combinations cutting small sample squares from each of them and safety pinning them to the respective designs that they were going to be used for in the look book you had planned for the company’s next runway production. A few of them had more than one layer and you were already discussing with the people who usually did the sewing how you wanted them to work when she caught back up to you.

“You and I have really got to have a chat about seizing opportunities, y/n. You were in his bedroom, for crying out loud. In his shower,” She scolded and you laughed.

“Okay, first off, I wasn’t in his shower. Second, what was I supposed to do just finish dying his hair and have my way with him right there until we were both covered in blue hair dye?” You asked.

“Yes. Yes you were.” She said matter of fact tone and a serious look on her face.

“That is a quality man downstairs and you should take advantage of every inch of him from head to toe.” You laughed again this time for a good solid few minutes and even snorted a few times from how hard you were laughing. She began laughing too and that’s how you knew this entire exchange was just her way of trying to cheer you up. Jasmine was almost as energetic and twice as eccentric as Jackson was and you were grateful to have her as a friend but she definitely had her priorities skewed sometimes.

“It was only our first real date.”

“No it wasn’t. You had a date Friday.”

“That doesn’t count. You guys set us up.”

“Okay yes we did, but it should still count anyway.” She argued and before you could protest the point further your phone chimed.

“Is that him?” She asked trying to peek over your shoulder, but you hid the phone away and made some distance between the two of you.

#jb got7 #im jaebeom x reader #games we shouldn't play

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reeree1500 · 5 years

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His Aphrodisiac...Part 2 Vampire Ivar! x Reader

Disclaimer: Smut 😏(an attempt), spelling and grammar mistakes😬 and my cliched imagination🤣Thank you for all the love and support💕☺️

Taglist: @yanii-the-hippie @peaceisadirtyword @laketaj24 @oceans-daughter-3 @camatsuru @youbloodymadgenius @calum-hoodwinked-me @wuxiesalt @supernaturalvikingwhore @readsalot73 @affection-rabbit @blonddnamedhandz @paintballkid711 @ivarthethiccness @limbo-limbo-limbo @funmadnessandbadassvikings

Weeks had gone by after our steamy session in Ivar’s office. I still couldn’t process the fact that he was a vampire. That ancient tale of a monster who sought nothing but blood was true. However, he had proved otherwise. Ivar didn't seem like the type of person to go around sucking people’s blood just because he felt like it. No, he was the type that when I had a problem he would make it disappear. Like Johnathan, my ex-fiancee who wouldn't stop harassing me. As soon as Ivar had found out about him, he never showed up again. It was as if he had disappeared into thin air. Of course I was relieved at the time, but now I cant help but think about if Ivar had anything to do with it...

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it was the night of the annual Lothbrok Corp dinner. Only a select few people from the office were to attend as many of our sister branches would also send their representatives. Not to mind the fact that the founders of Lothbrok corp would all be there as well, with their friends and family. This year the dinner had been set to occur at Ivar’s mansion upstate. This included a secluded area where the next house wouldnt be in sight for miles. Ivar was a man of privacy and now I could understand why. The dinner was to start in an hour and I had yet to finish my makeup. I wasn't really one to amazing at it, but I knew what would compliment my (y/s/t) complexion. As I finish applying my mascara, I take one last look in the mirror before heading out to the kitchen to find my phone and call an Uber. Taking my coat in one hand and juggling my keys, phone and purse in the other. I manage to somehow lock the door, but not before I’m met with a pair of electric blue eyes. “I..Ivar. W...What are you doing here?” I manage to say through my shock.

“You haven't returned any of my calls or messages since that night (y/n). I wouldn't admit this to anyone else, but I was genuinely worried about you.” He trails off as he says the last part whilst avoiding my gaze. “Ive just had a lot on my mind, Ivar. Im sorry.” I say looking anywhere except his eyes, knowing full well the effect they had on me. In a flash Ivar stepped away from the limousine, took my coat and placed it on his arm and grabbed my hand dragging me towards it. “Ivar what are you doing my Uber’s here.” “I gave him 100 bucks and sent it away. You're coming with me.” He whispers the last part close to my ear before shoving me inside the limo. His tone of voice wasn't all the way warm, it had hints of his icy personality in them and made it hard to breathe for me.

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The car ride was awkward and filled with lots of tension. Ivar tried multiple times to start a conversation with me, but I paid him no mind. I sat as far away as possible from him, I could swear that there were times where I thought that I would fall out the door. His hands would “accidentally” (as he said) wander all over my legs, tracing patterns and ever so often trailing even higher. It took everything in me to ignore his advances, and he knew very well the effects his touch had on me. His mere touch created a pool of wetness down there and the bastard knew it. Before his hand could go any further, the view of a great mansion surrounded by nothing but trees caught my eye. “Woah, that's huge.” I said as I looked out the window. “And its all yours (y/n), if you’d just have me.” Ivar says as he turns my head and stares into my (e/c) eyes. Getting lost in his electric blue orbs I lose all sense of why I was upset at him. It’s as if it’s only us two and the whole world disappeared when I look at him. Before either one of us could act upon our feelings once again, we’re interrupted by the driver as he pulls up in front of the house. “Oh for fucks sake! Someone is always interrupting us!” Ivar screams out, startling me a little as his eyes began to glow. His sudden outburst made me want to run away, but also made me feel as if I should have calmed him down. Ivar turns to me and he just stares, no sudden movements or words just a blank stare. In seconds Ivar is out of the car and opening the door for me. If I hadnt known that he was a vampire I could've sworn that it had all been a fix of my imagination and that he truly wasnt there.

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As Ivar led from the limo inside the mansion, I couldnt help but admire the artwork and intricate design of his house. It was something truly unexpected from him. Once inside the ballroom Ivar had disappeared, I guess to greet everyone and say hello to his family. Whom I know he hasn't seen for the longest time. I however, am very overwhelmed and I think it may have to do with the fact that everybody’s eyes are on me. I don't do very well in public scenarios like this one and all the attention is making me a little sick. There was security all over the place and although intimidating I knew that I had to find a washroom as quickly as possible, so I could lock myself in there all night. The bodyguard didn't even speak, he just pointed towards the stairs and went back to acting as if I wasnt there. Shrugging it off I make my way up the stairs only to find a corridor with an exceptional amount of doors. Internally cursing myself I make my way down and knock on every door, but they're all locked. I almost gave up until I saw the double doors on the right. Obviously this couldn't be bathroom, but at this point I didn't care, I just had to find a place to stay till it was time to go.

As I opened the double doors Im greeted by an awfully dark lit room, with intricate black designs. The cravings on the bed posts and the paintings around are those of ancient nordic runes, something that led me to believe that this might have been Ivar’s room. I knew of his great admiration foe his background, he loved anything that had to do with nordic beliefs and ancient gods. Making may way inside Im transfixed by all the artwork and details around me that I fail to acknowledge the presence that lies in the corner of the room. “So, I seem you've made yourself acquainted with my room already, (y/n)” Ivar says as he walks out of the shadows with his crutches? “Oh my God, Ivar are you okay? I literally left you for less than an hour and you've already gone an injured yourself! Wait, I dont mean to sound like a bitch/ignorant or anything, but why do you have crutches? Aren't like vampires supposed to be like physically invincible?” I said all in one breath, as Ivar just cocked his head to the side and stared at me. “You honestly believe everything that the media tells you, dont you?” Point taken, all I knew about vampires were form shows, movies and books that were then turned into movies or shows. “Anyway, before I became a vampire, I was actually a viking. Hence all the nordic runes everywhere and the massive tattoo on my chest and back. My family was very rich and my father Ragnar was king. However, unlike my siblings I was born without function in my legs. Which is why I use those metal braces in the corner over there while I'm in public, and these only around people I trust.” He says moving closer to me. “Now, tell me as to what drew you to come in to my room without me, (Y/n).” Ivar says as he draws my name longer than he has to, in a very sensual tone that makes my knees tremble.

“(y/n), give in. Dont fight it, we were meant to be. You're the reason I can finally feel alive. If it weren't for you, I probably would've kept roaming this world with no sense of purpose. I know you feel this connection. So once again , will you let me take care of you?” And in that moment all senses had been thrown out the window.

Ivar closed the gap with his hot mouth against yours. You gasped as you felt the heat spiral through you, as you ran your fingers through his soft locks. Throwing the crutches to the side Ivar manages to pick you up the hips and deepens the kiss. The sensual dance between your tongue and his is soon over as you cave in to his dominance and let his explore your mouth, slowly with deliberate movements. “Ahhhh...” A moan escapes your lips as his lips move down to your neck. “Since I saw you in that dress earlier tonight, it took everything in me to not act on impulse.” Making his way to the bed, Ivar lays you gently on the back satin sheets and holds himself up as his roam over your body in admiration. Ivar then looks at you for permission as his fingers begin unlacing and unzipping your dress. As Ivar kisses along to every spot that is unveiled to him, goosebumps begin to raise along your skin. You had longed for this moment for awhile, but had denied yourself of the pleasure due to your fear. Oh how stupid could I have been you thought to yourself as you relish in the pleasure that this man brought you every time he kissed and caressed you. “You're so beautiful...” Ivar says as he touches you with reverent fingers, as he begins caressing that part of your body that is not very often explored.

His fingers begin tracing the inside of my hips as his head dips down to my flower. Ivar takes my clit into his mouth and gently bites it, bringing a pleasure that I cannot describe. My hips buck up to him on their own accord asking for more. But he holds me down and brings his face up to mine. His intense gaze had distracted me for a second as his ministrations towards my clit were over. But before I could beg him and ask him for more, it was as fi Ivar had already beat me to it. In a flash he had dipped and curled 2 of his massive fingers into my hole. Pumping them in at an alarmingly fast rate. “I..Ivar, that feels so good!” I manage to say through my moans that are increasingly louder as I throw my head back from all this pleasure. Ivar’s pace becomes steady and his lips are now focused on my right breast, kissing and caressing it as if it were his favourite thing in the world. My hands uncurl form the sheets and move towards his head caressing it and then bringing it up so that I could kiss him. This time I wanted to show him that I too cared for him. And all that fear had been washed away, this man had been everything to me the minute I started working for him and Would be damned if I let him get away. Vampire or not!

Bringing him in for a kiss Ivar tries to take control and dominate again, but this time I would be in control. I manage to shock Ivar with the lack of submission that he’s used to seeing from me. I use this to my advantage and flip us over. Trying to not hurt him in the process. I break apart our kiss and stare deeply into his eyes as our heave breaths begin to entangle with each other and become one. I slowly remove his fingers from my hole, much to his dismay. And before he could protest I place my finger to his lips. “You've shown me how much you care for me. Time and time again Ivar. Let me show you that I care too.” At this his eyes hold admiration, surprise, and hints uncertainty. Making my way down his body, I leave trail of kisses form his chest all the way down to his legs. Taking my time kissing every part of them and staring into his eyes with love and tenderness, which he mirrors in his gaze towards me. I then make my way up to his long and already hard cock. Oozing with loads of precum. Licking the excess I take as much as I can into my mouth as I wrap my hangs around the base his very thick and long shaft. Pumping and bobbing my head I can feel and hear Ivar’s pleasure. His hands wrap around my (h/l)(h/c) hair and his hips thrust forward. I can see that he is reaching his high and before I could make him cum, he pulls out of my mouth. “I’d like to cum inside you, if you'd let me (y/n)” He says as his hands pull my face into a heated kiss.

Climbing on top of him I go to position myself on his member. However, Ivar flips us around so that he is the one on top. I could only look at him in shock for a second before my eyes roll back as I feel him thrust into me with one swift movement. My hands wrap around his torso, and claw at his back from the overwhelming sense of pleasure. Our moans become a melody to my ears, but soon I can feel myself reaching that high. “Ivar.....Im gonna” “I know baby, me too.” And just like that with a few more of his powerful thrusts Ivar and I reach our edge. Ivar and I stare into each others eyes with admiration and love. My hands without thought brush the strands from his hair away from his sweaty face. “Dont leave me ever again (y/n), I mean it. Those weeks that went by were probably the hardest of my life.” He breathes out as he caresses my face and body so gently, as if he were thinking that I would just vanish right there. “I would never think of leaving you again, ever. Im your aphrodisiac after all. What would you do without me?” And without a care in the world we lied in each others arms whilst the party roared downstairs, and the host nowhere to be found.

#vikings #vikings history channel #vikings fanfiction #vikings fandom #vikings ivar #ivar #ivar the boneless #ivar lothbrok #ivar x reader #reader x ivar #one shot #vikings smut #vikings fluff

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discordandglory-blog · 6 years

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You’re Tearing Me Apart, Lina || Adriana, Callum, Cat, Elara, Fergus, Jax, Lina, Maia

The centurions have an unhappy Christmas Meal.

Cat leaned back in her chair. They were all sat around a table, having booked out a private room in a Touch of Class for their little escapade before Christmas, and yet, somehow things didn’t feel particularly Christmassy. There was everything that a Christmas needed, a tree, twinkling fairy lights, baubles and other assorted decorations. It should’ve been like any other year, but the unspoken tensions seemed like they were already threatening to bubble over the edge. As the longest standing centurion currently present, Cat felt the need to take the lead and raised her glass. “I know things aren’t perfect, but Merry Christmas and a happy new year guys…”

Maia swirled her finger in the still full glass of wine that sat before her, well aware that it wasn’t exactly polite behavior. She didn’t care at the moment-- it was hard to think about much in terms of politeness when the climate of New Rome was so tense. She’d seated herself next to Adri and Lina on purpose, keeping her distance not only from her brother but from Fergus as well. She didn’t want to talk to them, not now. Not when they were meant to be celebrating the Christmas spirit. Glancing up at Cat, she nodded and raised her cup in acknowledgement of the toast. “Merry Christmas.” She smiled, though the gesture was a bit lackluster. Maia set the glass back down without drinking from it before turning to talk to one of the girls next to her. Maia asked awkwardly. “So… have any plans for the holidays?”

While the decor was beautiful and the venue festive as always, Adriana had yet to garner the cheer typically expected of these holiday celebrations. Turmoil had flooded the city over the past few months and had left some of its citizens gasping for breath -- citizens including a fair proportion of the Fourth Cohort's legionnaires. She had considered skipping the annual holiday meeting to make a statement on her stance regarding their recent orders but, in the end, she reasoned that attending was the more logical of the two options, even if it meant confronting certain complicated interactions that had blossomed amidst the chaos. When Cat initiated the toast, a faint smile displayed Adriana's relief. Tonight didn't have to be a disaster if they could all relax for just one night... A New Year. The daughter of Mars raised her glass along with the others before chiming in, "Let's make it our best one yet, yes?" Her gaze made a brief sweep around the table. "Buon Natale, everyone." Once the cheers were completed, Adriana tipped the glass of white wine to her lips for a sip that might have lasted a tad longer than necessary. It was Maia's question that put a sure stop to her consumption. "Me? Nothing beyond the norm. My family throws a massive party, I'm made to attend and look all authoritative and elegant,” her eyes rolled briefly at that, “and it's likely we'll spend some of the holiday in Taormina. Tradition and all that. You?"

Callum had not been looking forward to the meeting at all but at the same time, Christmas was one of his favorite times of the year, he wouldn’t dare miss the end of year function. On his arrival, the venue seemed like the same place where he swore an oath to Cat, but it felt completely different. Perhaps, it was the decorations, or what it the fact that he was now a completely different person. He had taken a seat between Cat and Fergus and purposefully avoided making eye contact with his Sibling. He hadn’t spoken to her since before the raid and didn’t plan on starting now. At the toast, he half-hearted raised his glass and then subconsciously downed his glass of champagne. He felt sick and almost weak, a lot of time and energy being put into blocking out all the hatred that filled the air of Camp Jupiter. It was like a vile smell that seeped from sewage systems, always there and no way to get rid of it. Instead of making conversation, he instead swirled his empty glass in his hand, eyes fixed on the neatly folded napkin; his ears pricked, listening to multiple conversations at once, a habit he had picked up through the years.

Cat couldn’t understand the tension. Jax had almost been killed by her and still they managed to keep it civil, it was almost as if the Centurions had been divided in two, those who wanted to help the Greeks and those were more cautious. Although she liked to think that she was erring on the side of caution when it came to the Greeks, she personally didn’t understand why the senate and almost certainly her father were pushing for such brutal positions on the Greeks. Looking from Callum, to Maia, to Adriana, Cat bit her lip and wondered what she was meant to say. “We all need to enjoy ourselves and blow off some steam, like that time we went on that camping trip, that one in Yellowstone and we uh, we uh kicked those frat boys asses at … well everything…” it was a long shot and she didn’t know if it was going to work but she was trying at least.

When Cat spoke up about their troop's former escapades in Yellowstone, Adriana couldn't help the grin that lit her features. And it was a smart turn of conversation-- a positive memory for the lot of them. Surely enough to distract from the tensions, at least in part. "Ooh, yeah! Gods, remember when we roasted them in paintball? They couldn't move for the next week without groaning about something. Especially that asshole Fergus nailed where it hurt." The daughter of Mars nodded across at her cousin, praising his former achievement without a moment's hesitation. With another sip of her wine, she looked back to Cat and added, "And that griffin nest we took out? Now that was fun."

Maia listened to Adri, only half paying attention. It was easy to forget sometimes that the other centurions came from far more impressive families than her own. Maia didn’t even have the slightest idea where Taormina was. Somewhere in Europe, probably? With a slight tilt of her head, she glanced over to where her brother was sitting-- he looked ill. No, no, no. She didn’t care. She didn’t care what was wrong with him, it was his own problem. Callum had made his feelings clear on the matter and she didn’t want to talk to him. “Nothing very interesting. I’m just going to be making tamales and celebrating posadas by myself. Might call up my mom, but nothing fancy.” She couldn’t justify taking the time off to visit Cat City to see her mother, not when New Rome was so fragile. And besides, she doubted her mother would even care if she came to visit.

Elara had been toying with the idea of not going to the end of the year dinner. It didn’t seem right or productive to be holding a festive gathering while the tensions surrounding Camp Jupiter were only getting worse. But she also didn’t want to be the one to cause conflicts among the Centurions when they were attempting to celebrate, so she showed up with a smile on her face that she tried to make as genuine as possible. She had raised her glass with the others during the toast and repeated their sentiments of wishing everyone a merry Christmas, but then she dropped quiet and just sipped her wine. While only half listening to the conversations around her she slowly swirled the drink, watching the dark liquid move around the glass. It wasn’t until she heard Cat speak again that she looked up and a smile worked its way onto her lips. A trip down memory lane to when times were a little less tricky might be exactly what they all needed. “Didn’t we end up banned from Yellowstone after that trip?” She asked, quickly followed by a light laugh.

Lina had almost missed Cat’s toast, she had been so lost in her own mind. She had raised her half-empty wine glass when she realized, but again zoned out after. She was attempting to remain civil during this Christmas party, there was no need for her to make it any more awkward. She was obviously in rare form as she very rarely drank in public, even at these dinners. She took another sip from her wine glass,“We are banned. As well as quite a few other national parks. We’ll be running out of parks to visit soon.” Lina understood the need for an attempt at normalcy. With the tension outside of this room, they didn’t need to make their dinners bad either. However, she wasn’t sure how long they could drag out this conversation about national parks. “What are we thinking our next trip will be?”

Finding a place to sit had been a trial for Jax. Callum had taken the spot Jax would have chosen in a heartbeat, seated between his sister and cousin, Fergus. Of course, he still wasn’t the fondest of his sister at the moment, but they’d been careful to maintain the appearance that they worked as easily together as they always had. And it worked. Pretty much no one was none for the wiser, except perhaps Leo. He’d wanted to keep himself away from those less supportive of the new laws, and he’d also been avoiding Adriana ever since their...rendezvous. So here he was, sat between his sister and Elara. Taking a sip from his glass, he straighten a cuff link of his that was a millimeter out of place before speaking. His voice was colored with amusement at the thought of all the places they had been banned from. “Well. Considering what we did to Old Faithful— I think it’s only fair. As for a next trip. What parks aren’t we banned from yet?”

Laughing, Cat swallowed a large mouthful of merlot before shrugging. Getting them a table at a Touch of Class had been worth it simply for the fine wine. Tapping her finger against the table, Cat absently watched everyone, trying to read their minds and imagine exactly what they were thinking about the tensions in the city. She knew that they were basically torn down the middle on it and she hoped that they’d be able to avoid any arguments, they’d taken the conversation on well, now to guide it forward. “I believe we haven’t been banned from the Disney Parks yet, so maybe that is where we should go, if only for us to later get banned from them sure, but I really love Disney…” she trailed off quietly, waiting for someone to pick up the conversation.

With controlled breathing, Lina reminded herself that this was meant to be how Christmas parties went. Coworkers toeing around tensions throughout the office, trying to make one night work better than the rest. She idly wondered how horrible it must be for someone to be banned, barred, from a place one loved. She wondered if anyone else was thinking of the irony of them lightly talking about being banned from things while the Greeks had to deal with the current political climate. “Disney would be nice, but I agree, being barred from Disney would be rather devastating, wouldn’t it?” She specifically used the word from the Bill, just to make sure that everyone understood. She took a sip of her wine, contemplated not getting wasted, decided that she didn’t really care all that much anymore, and took another long sip. Afterall, Christmas was about making poor decisions and starting fights, wasn’t it?

Maia had been drinking from her glass of water when Lina made her comment and nearly choked mid-sip. Covering her mouth, she glanced uneasily around the table at the other centurions. As much as she wasn’t a fan of the situation that Lina had placed them in, the bill was the elephant in the room. No time like the present, right? “Yes, it would just be absolutely terrible if people weren’t allowed to experience the wonder of Disney.” She mumbled, reaching for the glass of wine in front of her and taking a long sip. “But, we’re truly blessed that we’d never have to experience something like that.”

Lina’s sly jab about the bill hadn’t gone unnoticed by her co-centurion. Adriana tilted slightly in her direction. “Lina,” the whisper came with a hint of warning that translated an unspoken ‘Don’t.’ The new orders had been rough for the both of them as the figurative mothers of their cohort, but here and now was not the place for aggression, however subtle its form. A hand came to rest on Lina’s thigh as a reassurance. A silent ‘I know it hurts, but we can’t do this here.’ The look in her eyes helped to say as much. Then, as if the words had never been spoken, the daughter of Mars straightened to sport a clever grin. “We could make Disney manageable. The cacophony of an amusement park would provide a far stronger distraction for the senses of monsters, and we could split up to explore in smaller groups. Limit our joined activities to avoid trouble-- and not instigate trouble in the first place.” She separated her words with another sip of her wine. “I think it’s entirely plausible.”

Fergus had been doing that thing he had learned to do when it came to his own family’s Christmas’ Parties - he stared off into the distance, absently drinking whatever was poured onto his glass. This time around he had been drinking wine like it was water, barely feeling the taste of the fancy alcohol and purposefully letting any talking slide over him like water on a fish. As of late he had been pinned as the villain in the eyes of his peers and people he thought were his friends had turned on him at the blink of an eye. So when Cat made her toast, he didn’t pay it any mind, only doing so when he realized everyone was biding their faint and meaningless chorus of ‘merry christmas’. He finished another glass of wine and nodded. “Nollaigh shona dhuit.” He groaned out and finally tuned into the conversation. The memories of being banned from an array of parks was like a life buoy now, trying to keep afloat relationships that were one crashing wave from dying. He frowned at the talk and leaned in closer to Cat and Callum. “What’s a Disney park again?”

Raising an eyebrow at Fergus, Cat placed a hand on his shoulder kindly and smiled sweetly. “We’ve been over this cousin, they’re theme parks based around the Disney experience,” she looked at Lina and Maia with raised eyebrows and rolled her eyes. “Well, I was hoping that we could get away with not addressing the apparent elephant in the room, but clearly not.” She sighed gently and slipped back into her chair. “Let me be clear, I don’t believe that the disunity that has swept through our ranks at the hands of the Senate is sensible or even helpful when it comes to the defense of New Rome, nor am I in favour of the exile of Greek Legionnaires and the lack of thanks that has been given to them. However, I’d like to be clear about the fact that I expect better than bickering from all of us. We are the future leadership of New Rome and I hope that we can all work together to continue to protect the city, follow orders and do what we know to be right. Together.” She looked from Lina, to Maia and onto Adriana, placing special emphasis on the word together.

Biting her lip, Maia shook her head at Cat’s words. They couldn’t sweep this sort of thing under the rug, it just wasn’t something that she could stand by and take it anymore. Draining her glass, she set the empty wine glass down before staring at the wood grain of the table. “You think that we should just fall in line even when something horrible is going on? Something that makes us do things that you just said aren’t sensible or helpful?” Maia said before shaking her head. “Following orders and doing what’s right?” She asked, dragging her fork against the table, the tines scraping on the wood. “What’s right. And chasing out the Greeks from our ranks, destroying their demonstration, arresting a peaceful girl and putting her in jail, that’s what’s right? You’ve got to be kidding if you think that’s right.”

Fergus had done his very best up to that point - he had looked down and drunk himself stupid, or well, he tried to, so if everyone else would get the memo and not talk about things, it would’ve been for the best. (Or maybe that was just the Irish way of doing things, bottling them up until they blew up on your face, he’d rather live that way, he was never vocal about anything, ever.) But alas, shit hit the fan and he couldn’t just pretend he hadn’t been on the receiving end of hostilities he hadn’t been the cause of on the first place. “They’re not part of us, they’re not Legionnaires, they haven’t earned that, they’re campers, they’re here for a summer vacation. This is our JOB, not some fucking zoo they can come and leave whenever they please.” He snapped loudly, slamming the wine glass on the table and glaring back at Maia. “You want to know what’s disgraceful? Not knowing where you belong, THAT is disgraceful-- when the Greeks were admitted we accepted even though many of us didn’t agree, now things have changed and you should all at least know how to work even when it comes to things we don’t appreciate or like, we’re an army, not a charity.” He spat angrily, though it wouldn’t last, he had drank enough to lose whatever filter he’d been working up on. “If you don’t like it, you can leave then, no one’s begging you to stay.” Though his eyes remained on Maia, he spoke loud enough for Adriana to hear as well. “Do your job or get out.” Those were words parroted right out of his mother’s, grandparents, uncles - a whole bloodline and he’d be damned if he didn’t mean them.

Lina looked over Fergus and let out a laugh. She laughed and took another sip of her wine. Her eyes were hard but her mouth was curved into a large smile. “And who ever said you were a part of us? Who said any of us were naturally a part of this? They went through the same trail we did to get in, their skills were tested. And none of them had a last name to hide behind.” She had a feeling she would regret this later, but right now she was angry. She very rarely got angry. “You sound like one of those idiotic mortal politicians, you realize that right?” Her fingernails drummed against the table, the tapping sharp. “I signed up to be a leader. I signed up to help people who need it. I am doing my job. Is blindly following whatever you’re told being a leader? Or are you just a puppet.”

Cat rolled her eyes once more, sighing gently, she sat quietly and allowed Maia, Fergus and Lina to all say their piece. “We were all born Roman,” she pointed out finally, “we all went through Lupa’s trials and we all made our way to lead other good men and women in battle, I don’t know about any of you, but I swore an oath to my city, to the glory of Rome and to the Legion. The legion is bound to the senate’s authority, it always has been and our duty is to follow the orders of the Senate. I may not agree with them, I may not think that they’re right, but at the end of the day my duty is to protect this city and the best way I can do that is by remaining a centurion.” She shook her head. “What is our other alternative? To resign from the Legion, they’ll replace us with less competent leaders, you think that Fergus is a puppet then wait until you see who the senate will put in place if any of you leave.” She shook her head venomously and sighed. “This is exactly the sort of thing that is going to get us all killed, as soon as we split up we lose and I can’t bear the thought of us splitting apart. We used to be a family.” The emotion in her words were palpable. These were her best friends in the whole world and suddenly they were at each others throats, threatening 27 years of hard work and ambition.

“Cat is right.” It was ironic in a way that Adriana, whose parentage was stereotypically associated with conflict and anger, was trying to keep the peace. However, that didn't mean it wasn't practically unbearable to sit there silently and hold her tongue while her closest friends and family clawed at one another across the table. She'd had to remove her hand from Lina's leg because, if she hadn't, her nails would have caused injury and they certainly did not need this gathering to result in that. So she sat there as still as she possibly could, allowing her nails to bite into the seat of her chair, her eyes shut as a means of focusing on the dark rather than the words being thrown around her. It wasn't until she had a grip on her emotions (for the most part) that she snatched the knife from her place setting, stood, and flung the damn thing at the center of the table, embedded there within everyone's view. Not the calmest way to get everyone's attention, but fair enough. Even toned but serious, she touched the pads of her fingers to the wood of the table and spoke out. "Look at us," her eyes swept once throughout their entire company. "We have all been through hell and back together, yet here we are, throwing a tantrum like some moody batch of toddlers. Yes, we all have our differences, but we also have a duty," she glanced across at Cat, "to our legionnaires and to every person within our borders. We are supposed to set an example, and surely anyone who saw us like this would be disappointed in the lot of us." Sighing, she shut her eyes for another second or two before taking a second look around the table. "For one night, can't we all just sit down and at least pretend to be adults? It's the holidays for gods’ sake! The arguments can wait."

Jax had excused himself from the table as soon as Lina brought up any hint of the bill that had been recently passed. Normally, he was quite adept at hiding his rather anti-Greek sentiments, and no one would know the wiser— but when someone close to him revealed where they truly lay, he’d decided it would be a conversation he didn’t particularly want to be a part of. Getting shots was most likely not the best idea, but it was the only one he currently had. Though perhaps he should have rethought his private endeavor. As he approached the table once more, tray of filled shot glasses in hand, he returned just in time for things to truly get going. As Fergus was thrown under the bus by Lina, not to mention the very existence of at least half the families present with the last name comment, he sent a rather dirty look her way, the natural protectiveness he felt over his family taking hold. It seemed that Adriana was making an attempt to fix things though he doubted the Centurions, who already seemed to be at each other’s throats, would go for it. She’d handled the part of pretty words, but perhaps what was truly needed was something to fill the flapping mouths of everyone, if only to get them to shut up for a single second and give everyone a moment to calm down. “So who wants a shot? I’ll drink to that?” He offered his tray up. “Except Lina. I think she’s had enough.”

If you don’t like it, you can leave, no one’s begging you to stay. Fergus’ words echoed in Maia’s ears as she stared miserably at the table. Tears began to well up in her eyes. “My job is to keep our cohort together. Gods know…” She shut her mouth. No. She wasn’t going to stoop to personal insults. She wasn’t that cruel. Which was why hearing Fergus say those things, hearing someone she loved like a brother say that she should just leave? She wanted to do what he expected and just leave. She really, really wanted to. But, she couldn’t. Biting the inside of her cheek, a numbness inside her began to overflow as she fought to hold back her tears. She wasn’t going to cry in front of him. When Adri threw the knife and Jax held up a tray of shots, she barely registered it. She didn’t want to be a part of this, but she had to stay. She had to. Duty before self. The coldness inside her grew and before she even realized it, Maia disappeared from the table, invisible.

Fergus ears were ringing with anger and pain. “Cry your heart out, Gods knows you’ve been doing a lousy job at it, I thought we were friends but clearly I was mistaken.” He spat back cruelly at Maia, then turning back at Lina - as Adriana’s, Cat and Jax’s words fell on deaf ears for him. “I was born and raised a soldier, I follow orders because those are the orders that keep my people safe and thriving, if you don’t know who us are, then you shouldn’t be here in the first place.” He ignored being called a puppet, by now this wasn’t even the worse he’d been called as of late and he didn’t care all that much. He glared back at Adriana and everyone around the table, standing up. “Clearly going through hell and back together didn’t do anything for us, if you lot can’t keep doing what you’re supposed to do instead of acting on your own. We have sworn to protect and serve the Senate, who represent the people of New Rome and that’s my job, whether I like it or not.” He picked the shot offered by Jax and downed it before slamming the glass on the table, letting it break under his hand for emphasis. “Merry Christmas.” And turned on his back, leaving the table.

Lina looked at Fergus, her eyes narrowed. “Cry your heart out. That’s what you say to legitimately hurting someone? No friend would ever say that. Even in an argument.” Maybe it was the alcohol, or the lack of sleep, or any of the list of excuses that Lina could go down, but she was feeling overwhelmed by the fierce emotion she was getting towards this situation. She knew she wasn’t the best friend to people, she barely had friends, but she didn’t think she would be that apathetic towards hurting someone else. “And what are we going to do to the people who we hurt while we take those orders without a second thought? We are obviously discriminating against an entire group of people. If anyone should know how that feels, it should be us.” Lina couldn’t stand this, this idea that because one greek did a crime they were all guilty. She felt that the Senate was using the fire to attack the group because they wanted someone to blame and one person wasn’t good enough. It was deplorable. She recoiled harshly when the glass broke, a loud,“Jesus Christ!” coming from her lips. She looked visibly unnerved.

Cat sighed a deep and sad sigh. “Y’know,” she said bitterly as she held one of the shots that Jax had brought through, “I told myself that we’d work through this like adults, but instead we’ve thrown accusations about and we’ve threatened one another.” She shook her head as she tipped the shot back into her mouth before flipping the shot on its head and placing it upside down on the table. “The Legion only works when we fight as a unit, our formations, our strategies, they don’t work when we’re divided.” She watched Fergus go and frowned, wondering if it were best to leave her cousin to his own devices or whether she should follow him out to make sure that he wasn’t going to do something dumb. But she couldn’t move from this table, not when there was still an argument raging. “Our place and our duty is not to ask questions, we are not Praetors and we are not the Senate. They will decide what is best for the Legion and we will follow dutifully because for fucks sake, that is all we can do. So I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m going to keep fighting to protect us.” Turning she went after Fergus, following the directions of a waiter but not before she’d grabbed a bottle of wine.

Perhaps Jax should have cut Fergus off as well, banning him from taking the shot. But it didn’t matter now as he left the building, and Jax’s lips set into a firm and disappointed line. Cat was right. He too had wished they could have all simply gotten along tonight, and he toyed with the idea of going after Fergus— but there was still a knife in the middle of the table, and he didn’t particularly trust anyone not to use it as a means of ending this argument. Taking it into his hand, he pocketed it. Of course there were plenty more knives on the table to utilize, but he figured this would be the first someone would go for. The shots had also been an attempt to get people drunk enough to forget they were even angry, but it didn’t seem that it mattered now. Not with everyone disappearing at an alarming rate. He repeated a phrase Adriana had already said. “Cat is right.” For the most part. But now was not to add even more division into the mix. “Either we stand together or we fall divided. Fighting amongst ourselves isn’t going to solve anything. How can we expect our Legionnaires and everyone else to figure this out peacefully when their Centurions can’t even do it. I expected better from us.”

Callum had felt the tension before the argument had broken out, causing him to down two glasses of wine straight away. He wasn’t ready for this, he could barely handle the fighting between members of his Cohort and Maia, and now all the Centurions were fighting too. Rage filled his body when Fergus spoke to Maia like that, turning his vision red. Callum had known the kid for years, just like he had known many of the other Centurions, he remembered the fun times that Maia, Fergus and himself used to have together. He felt like standing up and telling Fergus to shut the hell up. Maia was a centurion of the Second, just like he was, he had no right to talk to her like that, but he didn’t. He didn’t say anything because he was sick of losing friends. But his silence just may have made things worse. He had drank the shot Jax had brought them and still continued to drink his wine way too quickly. He was trying to drown his emotions, drown the way he was starting to truly feel. The problem was that he had way too many political connections with the group. Cat, who he had sworn an oath to and could not go against her word, Adriana, who he had trained with from a young age, Jax, who was like a brother to him and wouldn’t dare betray. These were just a few of the twisted connections he shared. With a sigh, he broke the silence he had kept throughout the whole argument. He first reached out to Maia, allowing a warm feeling of love and tenderness to creep in, letting her know that he felt for her. He then continued, “Jax is right, fighting among ourselves will not resolve anything. We used to be such a strong and powerful group, but now, we are only as strong as we would be alone, in a battlefield, separated from everyone,” the wine was affecting his speech and he truly hoped that everyone would still understand him. “In times like this, we should stand together, supporting one another. We’re supposed to be a team after all. I know we all have our differences, and we all have our own opinion, but let's not be childish about this and storm off, we should respect each other. That includes understanding that those involved in the raid had to do what they had to do. Perhaps Martina was a bit much, but all Centurions followed orders as to plan. The respect also includes that some Centurions at this table have Greek friends, and thus support the Greeks.” He said, finishing the glass of wine he held in his hand and throwing himself with a huff back into his chair.

Of course Jax had to come in with shots. Like anyone needed more alcohol. But, as their party started to lose members, Adriana felt the apparent uselessness of her words sinking in. Had they all been sober, perhaps it would have gone differently. With a long sigh, she stepped over to stand beside the son of Discordia, viewing the helpless disaster from a short distance. With her head tilted closer to his ear, a miffed whisper passed between them. "Tell me, was this your method of diffusing the tension or diminishing it?" The question was rhetorical though, as was exhibited when she took one of the shots for herself. At least the burn of the alcohol would keep the fury in her blood suppressed. She wanted so desperately to mend the wounds that had been inflicted this night; alas, healing wasn’t truly part of her nature-- not a part that she believed in, anyway. She had known Jax and Cat for twenty years. Fergus, she’d practically raised along with his other cousins. Callum, who she had spent years training and who, along with Maia, were her nephew and niece by godly heritage. And Lina-- her co-centurion, her friend, her fellow ‘mother’ to all of the legionnaires that came through their cohort. She didn’t want to acknowledge the sting in her heart knowing that everything they had built was suddenly falling apart. At least Cat, Callum, and to some extent, Jax, were on the same page with her regarding their behavior, but if the lot of them couldn’t bring everyone together, what else would? Leaving Jax’s side, she traveled over to where Callum sat, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder before she sat down beside him. Coupled with the empathetic shine in her eye, it was a wordless attempt to translate what sense of unity she could, along with a silent hint of pride for his words. “We tried, but I’m afraid that right now, they’re too far gone to listen.” Pausing, she glanced at the spot where Maia had been sitting -- and evidently still was, just out of sight -- then back to her brother. “She needs you. Perhaps more so than through some indirect relief, yes?”

Maia watched everything happen, watched everything fall apart around her, all while silently doing her best not to cry. In the past, the centurions had had their fair share of clashes, but never quite this bad. And never over the holidays. When Fergus stormed out, Maia cupped her head in her hands as her shoulders shook with silent sobs, the tears finally breaking past her barriers. She hated this. She hated how they were divided, but she couldn’t see any way around it. They all had different ideas, different perspectives, different mindsets. And Maia couldn’t be who the others were. She couldn’t be the perfect soldier if it meant sacrificing her conscience, the raid had proved that much. As she cried, Maia felt her brother’s influence, trying to reassure her with love and support. The feeling eased the numbness inside her and the cold sensation faded as she flickered back into existence. Staring up with red eyes, Maia shook her head. “How can we stand together when we can’t even… stay together?” She asked to the others who’d remained, gesturing to the empty chairs around the table.

Callum looked up at Adri, eyes meeting for a second before he stood up. “I wish that some people wouldn’t consider themselves to be above others. Not when we’re all centurions.” He mumbled under his breath. He walked over to Maia and crouched down besides her, taking her hand in his own. Callum and Maia had a special sibling relationship, somehow they were able to tell how the other was feeling without using powers or telling each other. He gave her an apologetic look, and although she would probably know how he felt, he decided to speak his mind, just to make it more concrete. “I’m sorry Maia.” He was sorry for fighting with her, sorry for pushing her away, sorry for not being there for her and sorry for not standing up for her. “It may not seem like it now, but, we’re still together, just broken. Nothing can replace the years we’ve had together or the connects we have with each other. It’s just a hard time for everyone at the moment.” Tears had come to his own eyes, not because he felt sad himself, but because Maia’s sadness has affected him due to the physical contact, causing him to feel what she felt. “Everyone is just doing what they think is best.”

As Jax felt Adriana drift by him, her breath hitting his ear only brought about the exact memories of them he was trying to avoid. It was impossible to pretend as if the closeness of her hadn’t thrown his mind momentarily into the gutter, though her words were enough to make him exhibit a hearty eye roll. Normally, he would have tried to stifle it, but the night had rendered him too entirely fed up to bother with appearances. It didn’t help that Lina, his most recent rendezvous and who he thought to be a friend had decided to attack both his beloved cousin and family name. And then a look at Maia and Callum only confirmed that he would be done for the night. Fergus had left. Cat had left. It only seemed right that he should follow their lead, if only to get away from these two women and the love siblings and have some fresh air. The sight of Maia crying though, somehow managed to have a sliver of guilt rising within him, as he remembered the rather endearing card she’d sent him on his birthday. “I’m sorry this happened,” he said in their direction almost too quietly for anyone to hear. It was, perhaps, the first time many present had heard any semblance of an apology from Jackson Karavadra. The sight of Callum comforting his sister only further reminded him that he should be going after Fergus. And with that he made his exit. His family needed him.

There was a moment when Lina looked around the room and she realized pretty swiftly that she had started this. Everyone else had tried to ignore it, tried to let it be a good night, and Lina had to stir the pot. She had yelled at Fergus, which was probably uncalled for, she had caused a fight that left Maia in tears, she had caused three people to leave. Two of which she liked somewhat. She had quite solidly made a complete fool of herself. She shouldn’t have made that comment, she shouldn’t have tried to start a fight. Maybe she wasn’t the first person to yell, but she had lead them there. And then, suddenly, Lina felt dizzy and upset and nauseous and embarrassed. She stood rather abruptly, her face pale. “I have… to go to the bathroom.” And then quickly, the short woman rushed from the room with her hand over her mouth.

#f&gwriting #para #p: lina #p: adriana #p: callum #p: jax #p: elara #p: fergus #p: maia #you're tearing me apart lina

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thecowardlycreative · 7 years

Text

Title: A Little Bit of Hope

Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender

Pairing: Still none

Characters: Lance, Blue Lion

Other parts: Prologue

Summary/concept: Just how did the blue lion open that first wormhole when Allura was still unconscious in the pod? Altean Lance. That’s how.

Words: 3,142

Enjoy! This is pretty long. Also I’ve taken some artistic licence with the lion/paladin connection.

It was night, or as close to night as it ever got in the castle. The crystals dimmed and the engines slowed until the ship was almost as silent as the vacuum outside. Going by the ticker embedded in his bedroom wall, set to Standard Castle Time, Lance knew that it was close to midnight when he slipped out of bed, into the hallway and down into his lion’s hanger.

Blue waited silently before him, crouched like a sphinx. It was odd. She seemed entirely lifeless when she was like this. Just a lump of metal -- a tool to be used and discarded rather than the playful, intelligent creature she really was. It annoyed Lance a little bit, staring up at her. It was like she was pretending, like she thought he was a bear and if she just stood still enough, he’d go away.

He knocked lightly on her knuckles but she didn’t respond.

“Hey,” he whispered and she didn’t respond. “Hey!”

Nothing.

God, he was tired. He didn’t have the energy for this. This had been the longest day of his life, bar none. Breaking his dead hero out of some weird experimentation lab, finding out his greatest rival was some sort of mad conspiracy theorist, finding an alien spaceship -- finding out aliens existed! -- flying the alien spaceship which was actually a sentient robo-cat through a wormhole and meeting actual aliens! Then the whole fighting aliens/becoming a power ranger thing and multiple interstellar journeys that came with that. It was well and truly time for bed. But he couldn’t sleep. And he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep until he got this one question answered. It was too bad the only creature in the universe capable of answering that question had decided to play dead.

He could dismiss it, dismiss the whole thing as some weird dream or a retained memory from Blue of her last paladin, if it hadn’t been for Allura. The way she’d looked at him. The way she’d reached for his ears and mumbled, “Ro? How? But you’re so young…” before he swept in and set her straight. That wasn’t so easy to dismiss.

He sighed and let himself slump against one of Blue’s massive forepaws.

“What was that?” he asked the silent cat. “Back in the cave?”

Predictably, she gave no reply.

“Why did you show me that? Everyone else saw Voltron and all I get is the horrible last moments of some alien prince!”

Nothing.

“Is it because he was the Blue Paladin. The one immediately before me? Did the others see the same thing when they found their lions?”

Still nothing.

“Or what? Are you saying that’s me? We don’t even look similar -- it’s just the nose! And he’s like thirty! Did I age backwards or something?”

Blue’s silence was really starting to irk him.

“Did I die? Was that some sort of past life?”

She gave a soft rumble -- finally, a response! -- that he was fairly sure meant ‘no’ and then his vision was flooded with colour.

Yellow: the flash of an electrical surge as it overloaded the system and sparks flew.

Red: the emergency lights glowing in the otherwise dark cockpit.

Green: a soft wave of light that passed over Prince Lanaaro’s face, highlighting it in all the twisted pain of his death.

Blue: the colour of ice.

And then black: nothing at all.

Lance landed back in his lion’s hanger with a gasp, hands clasped around his stomach as his breath came short and fast and he struggled not to throw up. Even then, he stared up at the lion, still crouched impassively over him as if nothing had happened at all. As soon as his lungs finally stopped seizing and words were possible, he spoke.

“You saved him?” he heaved, his breath still shallow and stabbing at the muscles in his chest like shards of glass.

Blue gave a deep rumble of confirmation and the soft green light appeared in Lance’s vision again. It passed over Lanaaro’s face once and the pain eased, twice and his heart gave one slow beat as it sputtered into life again. But he didn’t open his eyes.

“How?”

You underestimate me, Blue spoke in his head and Lance scrambled away from her paw, adrenaline speeding his heart so fast in his chest he thought it might explode. She’d never done that before. He hadn’t even considered that she could. I am very good. I do not need so much.

“You gave some of it back… His quintessence…”

Your quin, she corrected.

“But why a baby?” Lance asked, crawling cautiously back to where he had been leaning against her as the blue of ice appeared in his vision again, encasing an infant like it had been shut inside a crystal walnut shell.

Less quin required to function, Blue said as if it were obvious.

“And the ice?”

There was another rumble in his head, a lilting one and Lance thought she might be laughing.

What do I know of children, Cub?

Lance shrugged. “Fair point,” he said with a smile. “But what exactly was your plan? Just leave him suspended in ice until the next Blue Paladin came along to take him back to the castle?”

No plan, said Blue, just… the words stopped and Lance was punched in the chest with something, some feeling she was trying to convey, so hard he almost fell over. It was only when the moment had passed and the emotions had dulled a little as they seeped away that Lance could recognise what they were.

Affection.

And fear.

She gave a low whine in his head and Lance didn’t think twice before wrapping his arms around her, or at least her foot, in the hug she seemed to be craving.

“You tried, Blue. You did your best.”

I succeeded. You’re still here.

Lance only smiled. He knew he wasn’t Lanaaro. Not in the way the Blue wanted him to be.

I can hear you, my cub. You are still you. Despite everything.

Doubt flashed across his mind again but, this time, he didn’t bother trying to hide it. She could hear all his thoughts anyway. She moved, then -- dipped her head with a soft purring sound to nudge at him with her nose. Lance had never felt more like a real lion cub, coddled and safe in the lioness’ den, as he pressed back against her. If she could hear his thoughts, he didn’t have to try and put anything into words. She would know his doubts, his fears, feel his gratitude and budding affection. Words were superfluous between them. So he didn’t say anything, just let himself feel for a moment before he changed the subject.

“So what did happen? If there was no plan, how did I end up -- my family,” the thought struck upon him suddenly, “they’re not my real family.”

Blue nuzzled closer, letting him feel her empathy rather than trying to voice it. In fact, she didn’t say anything, just rubbed him with her nose and purred in his head while he sat on the floor as every truth he had ever known came unravelled around him.

His family -- his mother, his father, his sisters and his brother -- they weren’t really real. No, of course they were real. They lived and breathed. They were human with human lives and human thoughts, dreams, fears and flaws. They just weren’t his. No, even that was wrong. They were his. They were still the people who raised him and loved him and gave him guidance and the freedom to explore. They had just lied. Because they had known. They had to have known. At least his parents and older siblings must have known. And no one had ever said a word. Why didn’t they say anything? Did they think he wasn’t old enough to know, or something? Did they think he didn’t deserve to know? Were they going to just keep lying to him for the rest of his life?

They probably thought it didn’t matter, Cub, said Blue. You are their family regardless.

Lance shook his head. “No. I don’t underst-- But I look just like my dad! I mean, like my… I don’t really know what I’m supposed to call him.”

Your father, I expect. If your image of him is true, I feel he would want you to call him your father.

Hush, little one, she went on before the confusion could take full root in his brain. Do not think too hard. When you are home again, you can ask.

“Right,” said Lance, not entirely believing her.

Until then, think of them as you want to think of them.

“But how can I look just like m-my dad if he’s not actually my dad?” His mind was in loops. “I don’t get it, Blue.”

Perhaps, she said and sent a reel of images into his mind. Alteans working as moderators at diplomatic meetings. Alteans growing and shrinking, sprouting horns or colouring their skin shocking pink to meet the expectations of whatever culture was hosting them. Lanaaro at such a meeting, shaking the appendage of some sort of tentacled centaur before his back twisted, he sprouted an extra set of legs and his arms narrowed, split into two separate limbs and lost their fingers until he was the same -- just another centaur with four handless tentacles instead of arms.

“You’re saying… I changed? To look more like my family?”

It is only a possibility. I cannot say for certain.

“Then, this isn’t even my real face.”

To me, you look just as you always have.

“Thanks, Blue. I guess I can always fall back on that.”

Think no more of it, my cub. You have lived your life after you left me. It is made no less real by what you did before then.

It was odd, really, that Blue’s metal paw, which should have been hard and cold and unfeeling in its sturdiness, was so comforting to hold. Especially when her nose was laid right on the other side of him. He could almost hear her breathing, feel the moist warmth that a real lion’s nose would give off. But no, he was imagining it all -- or, at the most, she was breathing only within the reality in his head. Still, he sat there, pressed against the comforting sympathy of her nose and the sturdy reality of her paw and let his mind loop and loop as much as it liked, let the fear and confusion wash over him like water off a duck’s back, until the world stopped spinning and he could have some sense of truth again.

He was in a castle. In Space.

The castle was a ship. Piloted by aliens.

Shiro was really alive. Keith had been tracking bigfoot.

Blue was right there, beneath his hands, inside his head. Even if he doubted everything else in the universe, he couldn’t doubt that.

These were his facts and he held onto them, built his world around them until everything was alright again.

“Thanks, Blue,” he said. “For…” Saving him? Being there? Explaining? Her understanding?

He didn’t try to finish that sentence. Blue would understand, anyway.

You are my paladin, my cub, my Ro. He felt her smile. My Lance. I will not leave you. She gave him another nudge with her nose and he pushed back against her good naturedly.

“But Blue,” he said, returning to a long forgotten train of thought, “If you didn’t leave me, how did I end up with with my family on Earth?”

She growled as she sent yet another wave of images into his mind. He was beginning to get a rather prickly headache.

This time it was the earth, deep, deep beneath the crust. The molten rock bubbled and boiled and mixed until, suddenly, it was moving. Up. Up . Up, through the crust and splitting the ground. Burning magma bubbled to the surface in a steady but deadly river. Rocks flew, bright red and unimaginably hot, from the ground into the air and the sky steady filled with smoke. Miles and miles away, buried in the ground in a cavern, the Blue Lion shook where she sat. The earth split beneath her and she toppled sideways. One tiny, frozen baby rolled out of her cockpit and into the pool of water by her feet.

“Really, Blue?”

She growled, somehow both guilty and dismissive.

“What about the particle barrier?”

I was careless. It had been ten thousand years and no one had come.

Lance laughed and patted her reassuringly on one of her giant knuckles. “Well, I guess we all make mistakes. What happened after that?”

With a soft rumble, the images were back.

Baby Lance -- or was he still Lanaaro? -- rolled into the pool and sunk to the bottom as the Blue Lion righted herself and looked around for him. By the time her nose poked into the pool, the baby was gone, sucked out into a small underground stream, and she gave such a mournful roar, Lance felt his chest tighten and tears grow in his eyes.

“And then?” he managed to croak out after a minute.

I don’t know. I was not there. But you will know.

“Yeah, it doesn’t quite work like that, Blue. I was kind of a baby. And encased in ice. In some cryogenic freeze. I don’t remember anything.”

Listen, she said and pressed her massive forehead against his. Feel.

He took a deep breath, felt the cold of her metal head against his, and let it out again. And he could feel. Well, he could feel something at least. And there was the sound of water. Not the bubbling of water above ground but the deep-bass churning you could only hear while completely submerged.

There was a pop and Lance knew he must have broken the surface. Then there was nothing, just the gentle bobbing feeling that meant he must be floating for a long time. But, what was that? Was it getting warmer? Oh, the ice was melting. That was good, right? It meant he was going to wake up. Wake up as an infant in the middle of a fast flowing stream.

Oh no.

A dog was the first the hear him crying. The world suddenly felt so close to his senses, even his sight returned with his consciousness, though the dog was nothing more than a blonde blur across his vision. The water was silk-smooth but deadly. It filled his mouth and stabbed at his eyes, wrapped around his chubby little legs and tried to pull him under and Lance, grown up Lance who sat in his lion’s hanger, was shouting at him to swim. But, of course, he couldn’t. He had no control. This was the memory of a drowning baby.

Suddenly, there were two children in the water with him, hands reaching towards him. They had followed the dog into the water, a boy and a girl, and were pulling it back by the collar to keep it from biting the small, wriggling, crying thing in the river. Lance recognised them as his older brother and sister, which meant the dog must be Jessi -- the pet that vaguely lurked on the edges of his memory.

Blue pulled away and the images faded.

There is more, she said, but it is not very interesting.

“Not very interesting? This is my life, Blue. All of it is interesting!” he shouted and then paused for thought. “Wait, you looked ahead! You didn’t know anything until you took a look in my head and then you peeked at the end!”

Blue gave her rumbling laugh again. It is all paper and writing, she said. Not very interesting.

Lance crossed his arms in a huff. Blue nudged at him with her nose but he only pouted more. She nudged again at his shoulder and he leant away from her. She nudged again and he still leant away. So she just kept nudging until he was almost folded in half, forehead on his knees, still with that same pout on his face and his arms crossed over his chest. And then she laughed.

Lance had no defence to that. The sound of her happy rumbling in his head was impossible to ignore and he gave in with a smile.

“Oh, alright,” he said at last, pushing her nose away so he could sit up straight again. “But no more spoilers! I want to go through all of that one day. Boring paperwork and all.”

She purred her acquiescence and he rubbed her nose.

“How did you do that, anyway?” he asked.

I am you and you are me. You may have been asleep in the ice but I felt and heard for you.

Lance didn’t question it. After all, he was in space with aliens and feline-transformers. He just settled against Blue’s paw again, taking off his coat to use as a pillow against her hard shell. She purred in his head and he traced spirals on her paw beneath him, wondering if she could even feel such a light touch. The growing response in his head told him, ‘yes,’ she could. He knew he was going end up sleeping right there eventually, Blue knew it too, so he thought he might as well get comfortable.

“Hey, Blue,” he said almost ten minutes later. “What am I supposed to do now?”

Whatever you like, Cub. Go wherever the universe takes you.

“But I’m supposedly Allura’s brother, right?”

Blue somehow managed to give a growl that sounded like a nod.

“I mean, should I tell her? But, at the same time, I’m not really Lanaaro. Because I don’t remember. So maybe I shouldn’t tell her. That might be weird. It’d be like looking at someone else using your brother’s corpse like some creepy puppet master. For that matter, can I do that freaky Altean shapshifiting thing? Make myself look like Lanaaro again? Would that be okay? Or would it make Allura cry? It feels wrong, somehow. Maybe it’s just because I really can’t remember being Lanaaro so wearing his face is, like, really gruesome. What do you think, Blue? This is so messed up, right?”

Sleep, Cub. You’re thinking too much again.

Lance huffed. Maybe he shouldn’t say anything -- let his worries pass through to Blue by thought alone -- but he knew he had to put them into words for his own sake, talk until he had his own thoughts straight.

No, sleep, said Blue again.

“But Blue,” whined Lance, settling his head on his jacket-pillow. “Who am I?”

You are Lance, she said. You were Ro, you still are Ro. You are the Blue Paladin of Voltron. You are kind and selfless. That is enough.

“Gee, I hope so, Blue,” he said softly.

If I do continue this, I’m totally just posting it on AO3. Having to re-italisise everything after copy/pasting is such a hassle. There may be more. I’m super busy atm so this is my procrastinating project

#fanfiction #voltron #voltron:ld #lance mcclain #blue lion #altean!lance #altean lance #writing #fic #i may continue this #long post #like really long #Fic: A Little Bit of Hope #really not happy with the beginning of this #and having a crappy start to the beginning of a post on tumblr p much guarantees it won't get notes #just saying

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illumlne-blog · 7 years

Text

I have answered a rather long questionnaire on myself and though some of the questions are rather intrusive, I answered them to the best of my abilities.

What is your full name?

My name is Rose Lalonde.

Where and when were you born?

December 4th 1995. My meteor crashed into Rainbow Falls, New York.

Who are/were your parents?

I had a mother but she passed on. Ecto parents are a different scenario all together.

Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like?

No. Except for Dearest Darling David.

Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people.

What is your occupation?

Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks.

I have only recently turned 21. My physique could be admirably described as Chubby. Most of my dresses are black, and my hair is styled into a blond pixie cut. I have yet to derogate my skin with any pigment but I do have a piercing. I’ll let you ponder where.

To which social class do you belong?

I used to think I was an Atheist ‘till I realized I’m a God.

Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses?

A very limited form of Lactose Intolerance and a terrible case of Spring Fever. Nothing life threatening.

Are you right- or left-handed?

Oh, how I wish I could say Ambidextrous, but rather Right handed.

What does your voice sound like?

Like a poorly trained Shakespearean actor. Or in other words, far too loud.

What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently?

I see. How does that make you feel? Now, let’s talk about your mother.

What do you have in your pockets?

My dress doesn’t have pockets. I usually have a vast array of goofy gadgets and unique combinations in my sylladex.

Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics?

I have been advised that my leg bouncing is not in fact normal. I tend to chew on things often, and if I hear another “Oral Fixation” joke I will not hesitate to kill.

Part 2: Growing Up

How would you describe your childhood in general?

A deadly and despicable game of one-upsmanship with a cold uncaring shrew. My memories of this might be a bit twisted.

What is your earliest memory?

I remember Jasper’s funeral. We stood in the rain for an hour while mother sobbed crocodile tears in a bizarre show of power.

How much schooling have you had?

Before the game, I was top of my class, but that was grade 8 and I have not done much since. It is a wonder I am still functioning.

Did you enjoy school?

I don’t remember it well. I was rather elitist back then and treated my classmates as lesser. There was a reason all of my friends are online.

Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities?

Most of my life skills come from either ancient tomes or being involved in life or death scenarios. A healthy childhood leading to a well-rounded adulthood.

While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them.

Most of my role models could be found within the dusty pages of the Grimoire of the Zoologically Dubious. To put it simply, I do not look up to them any longer.

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

A psychoanalyst. Freud was a moron.

As a child, what were your favorite activities?

I took up knitting for a short while. It has been sometime since my needles were used for this intended purpose. I enjoyed reading, always fascinated by Purple Prose. “It is a tale. Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing”

As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display?

All of the common ones for a child my age. Smart, quick witted, a deep fascination with the occult, funny.

As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like?

Was I popular in school? Not quite. Was I popular online? More so, but still not quite.

When and with whom was your first kiss?

I met a childhood friend for the first time in person. Her lips were warm while the chill

Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity?

Virginity is a social construct I firmly do not believe in.

If you are a supernatural being (i.e. mage, werewolf, vampire), tell the story of how you became what you are or first learned of your own abilities. If you are just a normal human, describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today.

I became a god upon death. Not a thrilling story but it’s not one I remember all too well. I plan to shape the new world into my vision. One with less sports.

Part 3: Past Influences

What do you consider the most important event of your life so far?

The day the Beta was released. The longest day I have ever experienced.

Who has had the most influence on you?

My dearest friends. Without them I would be nothing more than a scared child. Don’t tell Dave I admitted this.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

I have done many things, but I firmly believe the best is in front of me.

What is your greatest regret?

I regret ever listening to their words in the first place.

What is the most evil thing you have ever done?

Evil is subjective.

Do you have a criminal record of any kind?

No. I am a good little girl.

When was the time you were the most frightened?

Blood leaking from my stomach, my soul perched on the edge of my body, just screaming to escape. If it weren’t for that bed, I would be doomed.

What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you?

Nothing embarrassing that happens to me shall ever be recorded.

If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why?

If you remain focused on the past you can never see what’s in front of you. I have made many mistakes but I would not go back and change a thing. I am who I am and that is all I shall ever be.

What is your best memory?

My breath visible as it floated on the cold winter air. Her features remain ever present in my memory. My lips were chapped but hers were not. I’ll never forget the scent surrounding her.

What is your worst memory?

I fell down the stairs once and Dave witnessed. We both know which reference in particular was spouted at me for an eternity and a half.

Part 4: Beliefs and Opinions

Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic?

It is hard to be a downer when one can see the future. Though I thrive in the darkness, I know better than anyone that some sparks will never be snuffed out.

What is your greatest fear?

The unknown.

What are your religious views?

What are your political views?

No gods, No Kings, only Me.

What are your views on sex?

I neither seek it out nor condone the act. It doesn’t weigh heavily on my mind.

Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable?

I have killed and will likely kill again.

In your opinion, what is the evilest thing any human being could do?

Mankind has committed many atrocities, some too terrible to name but there is a special spot in the deepest pits of Tartarus for those who commit sexual assault in my eyes.

Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?

While I do not personally believe that anything is set in stone, I would be lying if I claimed that I didn’t buy into the hype. It’s nice to think there is someone perfect out there for me.

What do you believe makes a successful life?

I want to be something to someone. I’ll make a name for myself no matter what.

How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)?

Emotions are complicated beast. My methodology for dealing with them is writing them out in private or avoiding them all together. Not the most effective strategy but I never claimed to be well-rounded.

Do you have any biases or prejudices?

Not as far as I know. I would like to think I am an open-minded person. However, everyone has their blind spots.

Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it?

This is a loaded question. There is probably plenty I would not do.

Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?

I’ve never considered it. Anyone I hold dear would be under my protection. Although I don’t think I will be dying again anytime soon.

Part 5: Relationships With Others

In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how?

I am described as Flighty Broad for a reason. I tend to keep people at an arm’s length. Trust is hard earned and well deserved.

Who is the most important person in your life, and why?

I do not like placing that load upon one individual. There are several.

Who is the person you respect the most, and why?

See previous question.

Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people.

I have three close friends. Three others that helped me survive the game. I would place the mantle of best friend on Jade to be fair. She’s always been a guiding light and anyone reading these answers might have gathered that. Dave and John are two unfathomably dorky people but I can vouch for them.

Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person.

No I do not.

Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened.

Love is just a chemical reaction in your brain.

What do you look for in a potential lover?

This questionnaire is growing boring. I do not have an exact answer as of right now. I’ll let you know when she comes into my life.

How close are you to your family?

Dave is my only family. The best brother a sister could ask for. Surprisingly easy to beat at nearly any game.

Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help?

Any of my three friends. Depends on whoever is easier to contact in the given moment.

Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why?

Well Dave is a Knight. Is this good enough for you? I am not a mere damsel in distress.

If you died or went missing, who would miss you?

Now that is just cold. Have I mentioned my friends yet?

Who is the person you despise the most, and why?

Those trolls from during the game were frustrating.

Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?

I was always told to pick my battles and I am picking all of them.

Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations?

You would be daft to ignore my oversight.

Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not?

Not overly. Normal people scare me.

Do you care what others think of you?

It holds a grip on my every waking thought.

Part 6: Likes And Dislikes

What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes?

I should take up knitting again. I do have a penchant for video games, though that is what got me into this mess. I play violin occasionally, not professionally. It’s hard to say. Mostly whatever keeps me entertained from day to day.

What is your most treasured possession?

Now this is a tough choice. Most likely my Thorns of Oglogoth.

What is your favorite color?

Black

What is your favorite food?

I have a passion for Italian food. This is likely just a current fascination.

What, if anything, do you like to read?

Haha, Oh man.

What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)?

All forms of media can be an art form. Just because there is a bad movie or bad painting does not discredit the medium. I enjoy many things and am not one to shut down anything at first glance.

Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit?

No.

How do you spend a typical Saturday night?

I mostly stay home. Though Saturday is the same as any other day for me.

What makes you laugh?

Schadenfreude.

What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself?

The best cure to insomnia is to try and sleep regardless. Tossing and turning in bed is better for you than staring at a phone. Though while trying to sleep, I do tend to travel through alternate versions of the day’s activities.

How do you deal with stress?

Very poorly. It has been a few years since I last had anything to worry about and not knowing something always worries me.

Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan?

With me there is very little difference.

What are your pet peeves?

Care for a comprehensive list?

Part 7: Self Images And Etc.

Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted?

My life is a miasma of mistakes and very little routine.

What is your greatest strength as a person?

I would say it’s my wit and cunning charm.

What is your greatest weakness?

I can be quite selfish and a bit abrasive in the wrong circumstances.

Are you generally introverted or extroverted?

I would say Introverted. It’s tricky but I definitely prefer being alone more often than not.

Are you generally organized or messy?

The latter. I am a mess but a controlled mess.

Do you like yourself?

Yes. To an extent.

What are your reasons for being an adventurer (or doing the strange and heroic things that RPG characters do)? Are your real reasons for doing this different than the ones you tell people in public? (If so, detail both sets of reasons...)

I do what I do because I must. Noone else will.

What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime?

I want to ensure everyone in the world knows Freud was a moron.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Sitting on a beach by the ocean. A huge black umbrella protecting me from the sun.

If you could choose, how would you want to die?

I would die protecting those I cared about.

#hc #Save

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stormysurveys · 5 years

Text

A – Accidents

01. Have you ever been in a car accident? + -- Yes.

02. Do you have a lot of scars? + -- A fair amount. I'm sure many hae faded by now, though...

03. Have you ever been in a fist fight with someone? + -- I don't count sparring, but I've had a few close calls. I gave them the opportunity to fight me since they seemed so eager, but they always walked away?? Like, hello, you outnumbered me. Surely the two of you can handle little old me. But oh well I guess.

04. Have you ever seriously hurt anyone by mistake? + -- Yes.

05. Have you ever had stitches? Where? + -- Apparently I was supposed to get stitches but nobody ever took me to the hospital, so I had to kind of handle it on my own.

B – Beauty

06. Do you consider yourself beautiful? + -- GOD no lol.

07. Are you self conscious of how you look? + -- Yes.

08. Do you put on a lot of makeup? + -- My skin doesn't tolerate any kind of makeup. I learned to deal without it.

09. Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery? + -- The only way to fix what puberty did to my skin is apparently extreme laser surgery. Too bad for me.

10. What do you think makes a person beautiful? + -- A kind heart. Among other things.

C – Consequences

11. What was the longest amount of time you’ve been grounded for? + -- A few weeks. I don't even remember what it was for.

12. What would you do if you got pregnant, keep it or have an abortion? + -- I would get an abortion. It's kinder than having to have me for a parent. Ugh.

13. Do you ever think about how your actions affect other people? + -- Yes.

14. What do you think is the worst punishment someone could give you? + -- Leaving me alone while you go do fun things.

15. What is one thing you wish you didn’t do, just because it wasn’t worth it in the end? + -- There's a lot of things.

D – Dealing

16. When you are mad at someone, how do you show them? + -- I usually let it blow over. It's not worth bringing it up.

17. Name a time when you had to be strong. + -- Losing multiple cats and friends in one year.

18. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting? Any kind of abuse at home? + -- My parents fought a lot, and various other things.

19. When people at school don’t accept you, or have problems with you, how do you react? + -- Deal with it. :| I'm here and you're gonna suck it up.

20. Have you ever lost someone to death? Explain how you got through it. + -- You just move on. I don't think you ever fully get over it.

E – Experience

21. Have you ever had a job? Any volunteer jobs? + -- Yes.

22. Do you think that you are sexually experienced, or not at all? + -- No. There's still so much I don't understand.

23. Have you gone through a lot emotionally, or has life been easy thus far? + -- I have gone through a lot, but I can't really compare myself to others.

24. Do you think you are ready to be on your own (have your own home, job, etc.)? + -- Yes.

25. How old do you act? + -- Hopefully like an adult.

F – Family

26. Is there anyone in your family you don’t talk to? Why? + -- To my knowledge, there's no bad blood between myself and my family. If anything, I pushed everyone away.

27. If you had to choose, family or friends? + -- /shrug

28. Can you tell your parents or one of your parents anything? + -- No.

29. Do you have any siblings? If so, do you ever get jealous of them? + -- No.

30. How often do you spend ‘quality time’ with family members? + -- My entire family lives in the South. I do not.

G – Growing

31. How tall are you? How tall do you wish you were? + -- 5'2" and 3/4". :l I wish I was maybe 5'5" or 5'6

32. Do you think that you have grown more in the past year than any year before that? + -- Maybe emotionally.

33. As a person, do you think you are mature for your age or still act childish? + -- You asked this.

34. Are you scared to think that one day you will turn 30, then 40, then 50? + -- I don't want to, but there's nothing I can do about it.

35. Do you believe you still have a lot to learn? + -- Yes.

H – Hope

36. Love – real or not? + -- It is real.

37. Are you a pessimist of an optimist? + -- Depends.

38. Do you believe in fate, that everything happens for a reason, or do you think that our actions lead the way? + -- A little of both, but I don't usually rely on "fate".

39. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive? + -- I believe in reincarnation.

40. What gives you hope when you just feel like dying? + -- Nothing ever "gave me hope". I just realized that I could get back up in the end. The hardest part was physically making myself do it.

I – Issues

41. Do you suffer from depression or constant sadness/loneliness? + -- Lol, probably. I don't know.

42. Do you have any type of disease or disability? + -- I don't know.

43. Are you currently in a hard relationship or have bad luck with the opposite sex? + -- No.

44. Do you think that you are alone in this world? + -- It really do be like that sometimes.

45. How often do you think about death, suicide or running away? + -- Perhaps more than I ought to.

J – Jokes

46. Say a word or phrase that would not be funny to anyone but you & one of your friends (an inside joke) + -- I got nothin'.

47. Are you usually the one who makes people laugh,Or the other way around? + -- No, I just piss them off with my puns.

48. Do you cry when you laugh hard? + -- It happens.

49. Write down a hilarious moment you had with someone that makes you laugh to this day! + -- Probably. I'm not awake dude.

50. Do you ever get in trouble for laughing or talking a lot during class? + -- No.

K – Knowledge

51. The purpose of school: to learn, to cause trouble or to hang out with friends? + -- You tell me. I couldn't function at school at all. :D

52. Do people refer to you as smart, dumb, or average? + -- People probably think I'm unintelligent. I'll let them think what they want.

53. What was the highest grade you have received (full course mark) ever? + -- I don't know. I don't remember much from those days.

54. What was your last average? This year would you like to maintain it or aim higher?

55. What do you find the most interesting subject to be (to study or to talk about)? + -- Many things! Languages, psychology, history, philosophy, mathematics/logic (moreso on how it applies to the universe than trying to memorize formulae), the arts. ALL THAT HAPPY SHIT.

L – Love

56. Are you currently in love? If not, have you been before? + -- I assume so.

57. Do people around you show you a lot of love (tell you they love you, hug you, kiss you, etc.)? + -- Sure.

58. Is love worth it? + -- I guess if you find the right person, sure.

59. Do you hate it when girls in their young teenage years say they ‘love’ someone that they’ve been dating for a few months? + -- It's ridiculous, but children do what children do.

60. Does it take a lot for you to say you love someone, or is it just a word? + -- I don't like to throw it around. I'd rather show it anyway.

M – Money

61. Do you believe that money makes the world go round? + -- :/ Yes, and I hate it.

62. Is your family on the poor side, average, or above average when it comes to money? + -- My family did not have much money.

63. Are you saving up for college/university, or planning to? + -- I tried, aha. I couldn't live with the idea of putting my parents in more debt than they'd ever owed in their lifetime, even for a small college. So I chose to wait until I was older. Unfortunately I still haven't gone.

64. Would you rather win millions of dollars & be set for life, or find the perfect person to marry & start a family with? + -- Blah blah blah

65. On a scale of 1-10, how important is money to you? + -- It isn't. I need it to survive, but that's about it.

N – Naughty

66. Are you a virgin? + -- No.

67. What do you think about doing sexual things with someone you’re not going out with? + -- I'm not really that kind of person.

68. Do you know anybody you consider a ’slut’? What makes you say that? + -- Eh.

69. If you could, would you erase some things you did in the past or make it so you did more? + -- Probably.

70. Do you consider yourself more nice or more naughty? You can’t say both! + -- Who says I can't say both? I'll say both if I damn well please. But I don't consider myself particularly "naughty". At least not with random strangers.

O – Openness

71. How long does it take for you to open up to someone? + -- Probably too long. Most people walked away before I could.

72. What does it take for you to fully trust someone? + -- I don't think I can.

73. Are you generally untrusting towards people because of past experiences, or any other reason? + -- No, I just don't want anyone to know.

74. When are you comfortable with someone sexually? + -- When I decide I don't care anymore. If they show they genuinely want to be with me, I guess.

75. When it comes to parents and close friends, what’s the limit of what you can tell them? + -- Hmm.

P – Positive

76. Have you ever had an experience with someone that didn’t necessarily end positively? If so, would you rather erase the memory of that person because of the sad times or keep the memory of that person because of the good times? + -- No, I will keep my memories.

77. Do you agree with the saying: better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all? + -- For me, no. I was content before I met my husband and I'd be fine after. But I also prefer being alone most of the time.

78. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? What do you try to be? + -- A bit of both.

79. Do you agree that something good can come out of everything? + -- Possibly.

80. Have you ever had a time where something really bad happened, but something really good happened because of it? If so, please exlain what it was: + -- I'm sure, but I don't want to.

Q – Questions

81. When faced with a problem, do you ask for help or try to figure it out yourself? + -- I try to figure it out for myself first. I always get told "you need to ask for help blah blah". No, I don't. Let me do it on my own.

82. Do you often question the world and how we came about? What are some things you would like to know about creation? + -- I always question how things came about. And I don't know. What came before?

83. Do you think the government is truthful? If you could ask the president one question, what would it be? + -- LOL. I'm too conspiratorial for this survey.

84. When someone does something wrong to you, do you confront them and ask them why they did it or just let it go? + -- If I know them, then I'll bring it up casually or something. Could've been an accident. If I don't know them I might just shrug it off.

85. What is one unsolved mystery about the world that you want answers to? + -- There's a lot.

R – Respect

86. How do you show respect? + -- I treat everyone with politeness.

87. What can someone do for you to lose all respect for them? + -- Prove to me that you are a coward or generally a terrible person I guess.

88. Do you respect your teachers, parents, and other authority figures? + -- If they give me a reason to. I don't give out respect freely. I might do what you ask me, but I will do the bare minimum unless I actuallly care about what you have to say. Give me a reason to respect you, and I will work hard for you.

89. When you are disrespectful to your parents, what is the punishment? + -- My mom can't do anything to stop me. Not that I AM, but she's very old now.

90. If someone is mean to you, are you mean back or do you kill them with kindness? + -- Neither, but it depends on the situation. Like if you straight up hit me, well...

S – School

91. If you are still in school, what grade will you be going into?

92. When will you graduate high school/college? + -- I left years ago.

93. After high school, what did you do/are you planning to do?

94. Do you like or hate school? What do you like/hate about it? + -- I hated school. I couldn't function at all.

95. Have you ever been suspended, expelled, or dropped out of school? + -- I dropped out. After spending ages taking all these makeup classes on top of my regular studies, I had my counselor tell me to my face that I'd be good to go to graduate. And two weeks after school ended, I received a phone call telling me that no, I would not be graduating and that, if I wanted to, I'd have to pay them either $200 or $300 for either summer school or night school. I couldn't afford that, so I just didn't go back and acquired my GED, which was easier and I didn't have to study for it. :/

T – Temptation

96. Have you ever done something wrong, knowing it was wrong, because something inside of you said it was okay? + -- I mean... it's possible?

97. Has anyone ever pressured you to smoke or drink? Did you do it? + -- Nope. I've never smoked and I've no intention to.

98. Did you ever cheat on someone? Why did you do it? + -- My mom cheated on my dad multiple times. I've seen how it slowly tears the other person apart. I would NEVER do that to someone.

99. Did you ever want to do something sexual with someone you didn’t really know or love? What did you end up doing? + -- Not really. I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with this, but my brain doesn't make the jump to "this person looks nice" to "I want to have sex with them" for some reason.

100. Do you give in to temptation easily, or are you more independent and strong willed? + -- In the middle. When it comes to junk food I'm more weak-willed, but other things not so much.

U – Unique

102. Do you do a lot of things because your friends are doing it? + -- Where's the other question? And uhh no?

103. Do you follow trends, wear whatever you want, or wear really unique pieces? + -- I don't pay attention to trends or fashion. There's times that I unintentionally, say, dyed my hair a "trendy" color - but it wasn't on purpose and it didn't stop me from dying my hair.

104. Do you give in easily to peer pressure? Do you do things such as smoke, drink, or have casual sex? + -- No. I rarely ever drink.

105. What makes you different from people your age? + -- I don't know and I don't care.

V – Value

106. What’s the most expensive thing in your room? + -- Probably the electronics.

107. What’s more valuable: your life or the lives of your loved ones? Would you sacrifice your life for other people? + -- The lives of my loved ones. I'd do what I had to do I guess.

108. What is something you value not because it cost a lot, but because it means a lot to you? + -- As far as regular material items, probably the little Stain merch I have. For anything else, it's my husband.

109. If there was a fire in your house/apartment, what is the first thing you would grab? + -- The cat.

110. Do you think past memories and experiences are more valuable than what could possibly happen in the future? + -- Of course. You can always look at them later.

W – Wishes

111. If you had three wishes, what would they be? + -- I dunno. Is there a genie involved? I don't like the idea of someone being enslaved to serve me, so that's out the window. I wouldn't feel right just wishing something out of thin air like that.

112. Would you rather wish yourself to be happy, or your loved ones? + -- Loved ones.

113. Do you believe that wishes come true if you really believe in them? + -- Just go out and do it man. If you sit around wishing you'll just wish your life away.

114. Have you ever had a wish come true? If so, what was that wish? + -- It only "came true" because I forced something to change. I made the necessary sacrifices to make it come true. Nothing more, nothing less.

115. Do you find wishing for things a waste of time because everything that’s meant to happen, will happen? + -- I think it's important to believe in something. But I also believe it's important to actually reach out to make them happen too. It's not just going to drop into your lap.

Y – You

121. Are you more independent or social? + -- Independent.

122. What is something that makes you very mad when you see it? + -- Oh god hahahaha. When they sweep my favorite holiday under the rug to ring in Christmas extremely early all for the sake of cashmoney.

123. Do you think that you have potential to do great things? + -- I don't know. I assume I don't, but I don't really think much about that.

124. Do you think people are born a certain way, or develop their personalities based on what they go through in life? + -- Genes definitely play an impact on a person's mentality and whatnot, but the environment ultimately shapes that.

125. Do you think people are generally good ? + -- "Good" and "evil" feel like really convenient terms to me nowadays. I think people believe that a) they are the hero of their own story, and that b) most people have "good" intentions. Unfortunately, good intentions do not a good person make.

Z – Zest

126. Are you currently happy with your life? Why or why not? + -- No. It's not where I want to be yet.

127. Do you go on FacebookCraze.com to get facebook survey’s and quizzes like this one? + -- No.

128. When change occurs, do you get scared or are you excited for it? + -- I just prepare for it.

129. Do you like to try new things, meet new people? + -- Yes.

130. What is the most motivational thing in the world? + -- When you have no other choice LOL

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