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#i also thought i had published this but apparently not
litchilalitchi · 2 years
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funf dafu mood/aesthetic board
i am very sorry for the nearly month long delay for dafu's board! i had a lot of things happen in my personal life and this slipped through the cracks.
anyway here it is! at long last. a lot of the inspiration for this board comes from dreaming eyepatch so i highly recommend reading it!
☆ Velara
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hospital room - dafu's hospital stay
foggy street - keikou reference
red/blood moon - in dreaming eyepatch, kanon and dafu see a red moon
eyepatch - dafu's eyepatch
hymnal sheet music - dafu sings with kanon at the club members graves
newspaper - his search to find out what happened to his friends
the person - references how keikou seemingly forgot about the boys that died
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catgirlknighted · 22 days
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Big Sister Confesses, a Special Siblings Day
God, where do I even start? My big sister Wendy has always been so beautiful ever since we met. Very physically affectionate, but she was like that with a lot of close friends; so, I thought nothing of it. I’m sure some of you remember glomping? I’ve certainly taken a tumble or two from her, but never fully fell. She was more gentle with me. At some point she kissed my cheek on my birthday & I thought nothing of her kiss, her doting on me, & being so close to me all the time throughout that day. She’s such a wonderful & charming person to have around, I appreciated every bit of affection.
As we became physically closer, I would kiss her cheek regularly and I began to see her as more than just my big sis, she is hot. I can’t deny it, my elder sister is a hot woman & we’re exchanging kisses on the reg. My cheeks get red at such a realization as it dawns on me. Her cute & pretty face always lighting up my day with that beautiful smile. Her pretty legs & thighs that I lay my head on while she runs her fingers through my hair & pets me softly at the public park. Hell, even her breasts & her ass are gorgeous & perfect, now I can’t stop ogling her in my mind. Golly gosh, her in that one piece swimsuit too when we first met, her soft skin, those hips & curves. Every inch of my big sis is heavenly & what if I could kiss her soft pink lips even just once or feel my tongue on hers? What would big sis Wendy taste like? My cheeks are so flushed at this point! Surely such indecent thoughts are weird though, I better repress this! She’s my big sister, she’d probably feel weird if I told her I was developing a crush on her!
For some time into young adulthood we remained as physically close as ever, regularly hanging out, even as I went to college. We made time for one another, Wendy & I. Outside of my closed relationship, Wendy was the most physically intimate relationship I had going on. We could talk to each other about anything too, even our relationship problems. At some point during those years I told her I was bigender & I felt like a girl sometimes. “You’re a very pretty girl.” We were walking & talking casually through her neighborhood & I froze up hearing those words from her in response to my coming out. Tears formed in my eyes & my cheeks reddened. Not only was I just affirmed on my femininity, but I was pretty to her. My big sister found me to be pretty? I nearly combusted on the spot despite trying to shove my gay thoughts to the back of my mind throughout these years with her. “Are you okay?” “Y-yeah, I just wasn’t sure how you’d take it.” “You’ll always be my little sibling regardless of gender & I love you.” “I love you too, big sis.” We hugged & I cried into her shoulder a bit, taking in her scent & embrace. Big sis smells so good & despite not glomping me, I think I’ve fallen this time. She’s the best big sister I could ever ask for & I’ve fallen in love with her. The best part is, we remained just as close as before I came out, if not closer. Soon enough I would see just to what extent that closeness would go.
My partner, Cassandra, at the time had at one point questioned our physical intimacy of kissing each other’s cheeks, hugging often, & snuggling when we’d all hang out together. I’d respond by affirming that we are just siblings & that’s all there is to it, besides, she’s in a relationship & I’m obviously taken by them. This would put that conversation to bed, but in the back of my mind my gay thoughts would chime “but she’s still hot though & what if we kissed while caressing one another?” These indecent thoughts of mine would start popping up more despite the fact that Wendy had a boyfriend. I even felt a little jealous of the boyfriend at times too, but would shove that to the back of my mind. I needed to be happy that my big sister is happy!
In an ironic twist, she was in fact very unhappy as I would get called by her crying to me, lamenting about how shitty her boyfriend was to her, sometime later on. I had consoled her & kept her company on the phone for a little while. They had broken up just yesterday & her birthday was coming up very soon, she didn’t want people to see her upset on her birthday. She asked for the first time in all our years knowing each other if she could come hang out at my house. I was surprised & I asked my parents if it was okay with them. We were given the green light by both our legal guardians to go ahead & hang out. It was impromptu but I put on some clean pants & underwear, couldn’t find a clean shirt, but she lived like 10 minutes away so there was no time for that! I had to be there for my big sis! I hurriedly put on a zip-up jacket since I can’t find any clean shirts. A few minutes later, she arrives & I give her a big hug as she enters the doorway. “Can we go somewhere private?” “Yeah of course, let’s go upstairs.”
We go upstairs & I whisper softly “you doing okay?” She says softly that she isn’t sure. We get to a couch & sit down together. I wrap one arm around her and she lays her head on my shoulder. I blush a little & find myself smiling, I kiss the top of her head & rest my cheek on her. “Hey sis, I’m sorry he hurt you.” “Thanks little bro or sis, he ended up being a real asshole.” “Yeah, guys can suck sometimes & ‘sis’ is good for today, thanks Wendy.” “No problem sis, hey, is it okay if I lay down on you? I was crying a lot today & I’m kinda tired.” I was so focused on being here for her that for a moment I lived in a world where my gay feelings didn’t exist, but damn if they sure didn’t flare up from the back of my mind at that very moment. It took all my willpower not to blush, this wasn’t the time for that! “Yeah, of course! Hell, you can even take a nap on me if you want!” “Thank you, I’m pretty drained...” “Of course, just happy to be here for you. Want me to lay down & then you lay on top of me? I’ll be like an anime body pillow or something.” A hint of a smile spreads across her lips & she nods. “You sure I won’t crush you?” “I’d be happy to have you crush me like a weighted blanket.” I giggle and smile at her & a smile in turn finds it’s way across her beautiful lips, she takes off her glasses & places them to the side. I lay down on the couch & she lays down on top of me, face-first into my chest as I rub her back softly & soothingly. “Hey Rose, can I tell you a secret?” “You can tell me anything Wendy, of course, lock & key or whatever the saying is.” “Okay well... I have a crush on someone.” “Already? You just broke up with what’s his name, that’s kinda fast. No hate, just that seems pretty quick.” “No, it’s not like that, I’ve had a crush on this person for a while.” “Oooooh juicyyy, well, whose the lucky guy or girl or whatever?” She then moves her beanie in front of her eyes & burrows her face fully into my chest to where I can’t see her eyes anymore. “Promise me you won’t judge me no matter what?” “Big sis, you know I love you, I won’t judge, I promise!”
“Well, good because... it’s... you.” I let out an audible gasp, looking down at her in shock. “I know you look at me as your big sister & I see you as my little brother or sister too, but I can’t help it I’ve always liked you & you’ve always been there for me.” She gets choked up & starts to sniffle while clutching onto my chest for comfort. “Y-y-you like me...? Y-you-your serious?” I’m still taking in this information, awestruck as to what I’m hearing & trying to process. “Please don’t judge me or be upset, I’m sorry! This is probably stupid!” She says while sobbing into my jacket. I rub her back soothingly. “No hey wait- wait no hey... hey, hold on... hey, look at me, Wendy.” “Don’t wanna.” “Please?” “I don’t want you to judge me or see me crying.” “I don’t mind you crying & I'm not going to judge you, I promise on my life, I just want you to be reassured so please at least let me see your eyes.” I move the top of her beanie up out her face to see her pretty eyes sparkling with tears. “I know I’m in a relationship & that’s why you probably feel weird or bad about confessing to me, but the truth is, I like you too big sis & I have for a long time.” “You don’t have to lie to me.” “I’m not lying, let me repeat this while I maintain unblinking eye contact with you so you know I'm for real about this, I like you, I’m crushing on you too & I have been for years. I’ve just been pushing it to the back of my mind because I was scared you’d think I was weird or gross since we’re siblings & stuff.” “So you’ve felt the same? But you’re in a relationship.” “A polyamorous relationship.” “Okay, but would I have to date Cassandra? I don’t like her like that, she’s pretty I mean no offense, but I only like you.” “I’m not sure? It’s something we’d have to talk about.” “Mmm...” “That being said though I’m glad we got this off our chests, I’ve been holding that in for soooo long & I’m sure you have too!” Wendy nods & smiles a little. She’s stopped crying at this point & is only sniffling on occasion. We cuddle in silence for a few minutes. She takes her beanie off at some point because she got too warm in it.
“Hey sis, you guys got to play truth or dare at that sleepover you had recently right?” “Yeah, did Jessy tell you about that?” “Yeah, I heard some wild stuff happened, but she kept it pretty hush hush.” “That’s good, she better keep that stuff a secret.” “Yeah, she’s a good friend, though it got me thinking sis, could we play it together, just the two of us?” “Yeah sure.” “Okay because I’m sad I couldn’t stay for the sleepover haha, I really wanted to!” “Well, maybe next time you come over we can do that; so, who should start?” “Um what do you think?” “You pick.” In my mind at that moment I suddenly remember our friend Jessy saying that one of the dares they all did together was flash each other’s chests all at the same time after closing their eyes for 30 seconds. “Okay, I’ll start then, sissy, truth or dare?” “Hm well you already got a lot of truths out of me today; so, dare.” “Haha fair enough, if you aren’t comfortable with my dare you don’t have to do it, okay?” “Okay, so what’s the dare?” “Well, given I never got to stay overnight, I dare you to flash your chest at me, I’ll close my eyes & you just tell me when you’re ready.” “I um... I’m not sure.” She’s looking at the floor now & has sat up, her cheeks turned pink. She puts her glasses back on, still not meeting my eyes. “Perfectly okay if you don’t want to Wendy; just let me know & I’ll think of a new one. I’ll also flash you my boobs if you’d like? If that would make you um more comfortable.” I’m now looking at a different spot on the floor & also sitting up, red in the face. I can tell through my blind spot that she glanced over at me to ponder her decision for a moment. “Hmm okay... well, I don’t want to lose in round one so um how about you close your eyes? I’ll tell you when to look.” “Um o-okay big sis!” I blurt out nervously before shutting my eyes & turning around to face the wall. Oh my god, I’m going to see my big sister’s breasts! Holy shit, holy fuck, I’ve only fantasized about what she looks like & occasionally touched myself thinking of her! My hands are shaking as I hear her messing with her shirt & bra behind me. She’s actually going to show me her boobs, this is a dream come true! Big sis Wendy’s boobs, oh my god! The anticipation is making my cheeks hot & making me wet.
I feel her tap my arm, round one is just getting started. “Y-you can um look now if you want to.” “Y-you’re sure it’s okay for me to, big sis?” “Y-yes I... want you to look, pl-please look.” “O-okay, gladly Wendy.” I turn around to see her with her bra on the floor next to her, sitting on the carpet, t-shirt rolled up, & her hands covering both of her boobs. I come over & sit in front of my sister. “So um what d-do you think?” She asks me shyly. “I think I’d like to see the whole thing if that’s okay, but so far I’m absolutely head over heals.” “Oh okay um p-please move my hands for me, I’m nervous.” “You’re sure sis? Just checking to make sure you’re okay with this before I proceed.” “Yes, I’m sure little sis.” “Okay.” I gulp nervously & place my hands on hers gently, rubbing the tops of her hands reassuredly before lightly moving them off of her breasts. “Woah Wendy, they’re beautiful, your breasts are absolutely perfect!” “Y-you think so? I don’t like my visible veins.” “Oh sis, you have absolutely nothing to be insecure about, your breasts are some of the most beautiful I’ve ever seen, okay?” “O-okay thank you, I’m glad you like them so much.” “Like them? I love them much like I love you big sis! Every inch of you is sexy to me!” Her cheeks are so hot by now and she’s looking away shyly. Her breasts were the biggest & most beautiful I’ve ever seen, I was getting so wet & had a visible boner by now poking up through my jeans. I couldn’t stop starring at my big sister’s voluptuous breasts & her soft tummy peaking out from her jean short-shorts was like icing on the cake. I had fantasized about Wendy’s boobs, but the real deal was so much better! “Please keep them out for a bit longer big sis, I love seeing them but only if you’re comfortable. C-can I show you mine please?” I ask her. “I-if you want to little sis.” “I do, um you don’t have to close your eyes for this one I just w-want you to see my breasts, please sissy.” I unzip my jacket slowly, nothing on underneath & she’s watching me take out my breasts for her. My big sister is looking at my soft tummy & boobs, this just gets better & better. At this point my boner grows even bigger & is throbbing visibly as I’m sitting back against the back of the couch with my tits out for sis to ogle at. “W-what do you think of them?” I ask her shyly. “They’re very cute & pretty like you.” I blush so hard at those words & it makes me so happy to hear that!
She puts her shirt back down & comes over to sit right beside me, leaving the bra out which doesn’t help with my increasing gay thirst. “Now it’s my turn” she states, “truth or dare.” I look up at her, completely flustered, with my jacket still unzipped. She puts a hand on my leg & rubs my leg a bit. “Looks like you got a wet spot” she says, while looking down at my lap. “It’s um... because I got really excited looking at you, big sis.” “O-oh yeah you’re really wet then.” “Y-yeah... also dare.” I’m looking away, I can’t meet her eyes all embarrassed about how wet I am. “I... dare you to kiss me.” “K-kiss you?” I ask, absolutely flabbergasted. “Yeah... wherever you want.” “W-wherever I want?” “Mhm.” She lays her head on my shoulder & I ask if she’s sure. She nods. Me being a nervous wreck, I go for a forehead kiss initially, stop myself close to her face, & ask “actually, may I kiss your lips, Wendy?” “Y-yeah you can.” “You ever kiss a girl before?” “N-no, you’ll be my first.” I can't help but to grin playfully, I'm her first gay kiss! I’m nervous, we both are, but we both close our eyes & lean in, our lips collide & our hearts flutter upon impact. Our cheeks as pink as the skin on our lips as we taste one another, not letting go. My big sister‘s lips feel perfect on mine. We part but if only for a moment to open our eyes & stare at one another longingly. “Big sister, can I please kiss you more?” She nods & we kiss more, I suck on her lip a bit with the next set of kisses & my sister moans for me, gripping onto my jacket while we lock lips. “You like that Wendy?” “Yes.” I kiss her more while I wrap my arms around her lovingly. I love my older sister so much, she’s perfect & so fucking hot! We hold each other as our kisses begin to get a bit sloppy, our saliva trailing between our lips as we break from kissing.
This is like my fantasies come to life, my older sister’s pretty pink lips all over mine! “Let’s have a siblings day, just you & I, like this. I promise we can forget all about it when we’re done, if you want.” I told her at some point while we were making out. We both agreed to those conditions & to go all out, then keep it between us as siblings afterwards.
“Indecent” thoughts? I'm so silly! Seems we were both having them for quite some time! We both craved this sisterly love making! I’m running my fingers up her warm soft skin while I look at her longingly, t-shirts are great for feeling up my sister’s arms. We lean in to kiss each other more while I rub my fingers along her arms, up & down softly. This is the best way for me to bond with my big sister by kissing her & swapping spit with the girl who knows me best! I ran my fingers up her shoulder & lightly across her neck as I looked at her with the utmost desire. I giggle and say “I suppose it’s my turn again, sissy. Truth or dare?” Round two begins.
“Dare.” She says with a look in her eyes that tells me she wants so much more. I smirk & say “I dare you to keep your bra off & let me put my hands on your chest.” “O-okay.” “That okay with you Wendy? You can back out at any time, just a reminder.” “Yeah I know.” “Guess you aren’t trying to lose to me are you?” I grin at her & a big smile spreads across her flustered face in turn. This has become a little competition to see who taps out first? Challenge accepted! I slowly work my hands up to her shoulders. “You know, big sis, you could just tell me what you want.” “I-I’m not really sure what I want, this is my first time doing this stuff.” First time? I’m her first time?? Me? Once again, I feel like I’ll combust on the spot, but I maintain composure. “First time huh? Then we’ll just take our time & explore together.” I’ll be the first person to corrupt my big sister, what an honor. I slide my hand down onto her chest & press on her right breast. She withdraws a breath. I begin to caress her through her shirt, cupping her boob & rubbing it around. She lets out a soft gasp for me. “Wow big sis, you're so sensitive here! That feel good?” “Mhmm.” She moans softly as I squeeze her breast lightly and rub it around more. She’s looking up at me desperately like her mind is in a horny haze just from me rubbing one of her breasts through her shirt. This really must be her first time! Well, as her little sister, it’s now my duty to make some of her firsts are great ones! I use my other hand to grab her left breast, caressing it & rubbing it around lightly for her. Meanwhile I try something new on big sis and grab her left breast again, though this time I run my fingers across her until I find her hardened nipple poking through her shirt. Oh, this is going to be so much fun! I grab hold of her bosom & begin to tease my thumb across her erect nipple on the left side, she lets out a loud moan for me in turn. Sissy sounds so perfect too, so beautiful, like music to my ears! “Shhhh we can’t let my parents hear.” “I’ll try, but it's very sensitive and feels so good.” I smirk & tease her nipple with my thumb more, running it across over and over. Sis biting her lip as an attempt to try not to make any sounds. “Let me help you, sissy.” I start kissing sis on her lips as I move my hands into position & simultaneously tease both her nipples at the same time. I feel her body tense up as she moans into our kisses. I can feel her body reacting every time I press & rub across them, she really does have some sensitive nipples! I start to rub her them around faster & she breaks from the kissing to let out a nice moan just for me. “Ffffuck that feels so good.” “I know right & you’re being so brave for me, you’re doing so good for your little sis!” “T-thank you Rose.” “No problem, big sis!” I say as press on both her nipples really hard just to mess with her. “Mmm more gentle plllease” she says while moaning out for me. “Of course, sissy! Thank you for telling me!” “I don’t know how much I can take & I don’t want us to get caught.” “Yeah that’s fair.” I rub them lightly for her & she gasps.
“Now then Wendy, I did say I wanted to put my hands on your chest & I already have through your shirt, so may I reach under & feel them with my bare hands, if that's okay?” She nods & I try something new on her once again by leaning in to kiss her neck while I slide my hand up her leg to the hem of her t-shirt. I slip my fingers gently underneath the hem. Her soft tummy feels so warm & good on my hand, I caress her as I run my fingers up her body. The skin on her neck is just as soft & warm as I plant my lips on it. Gentle smooches landing like rain drops on her tanned skin. She lets out a quiet little moan for me & deposits a breath every time a smooch hits her beautiful neck. I think I’m in Heaven, never did I think I’d be doing such things with my hot older sister! She holds onto me as I work my fingers up to her chest. Oh my god, my hands are on now her boobs! Holy shit, holy fucking shit! They’re so soft & squishy! Those perfect & voluptuous breasts are being squeezed between my fingers! She makes more lovely little sounds for me as I press on, rub around, squish, & squeeze her tits. All the while I lightly suck on her neck & lick it, planting little kisses up & down my sister’s beautiful neck. Now that I think about it, why don’t I just bite her neck at least once while we’re here. She clenches onto me as I bite her softly, letting out a nice audible moan for me once more. Big sis Wendy makes the best noises I’ve ever heard! “Wendy, your breasts feel so good in my hands. They’re the best! Are you okay? I hope I didn’t bite too hard sis.” “I-I’m glad & yes, but maybe be a bit more gentle with the next bite.” “I can do that, thank you for telling me.” She seemed to be in a horny haze mentally; but as long as she gave me the okay I would pleasure my big sister & show her something incredible before her birthday! I must cheer her up! She just kept looking at me with those longing eyes; so I bit her neck again but softer & in a different spot. She gasped & gripped me hard again. I continued to caress & fondle her big beautiful breasts under her shirt, they feel so good to squish & play with! I started teasing her nipples too, just like before, but this time skin-to-skin & I knew kissing her would deafen her beautiful noises. As much as I longed to hear her symphony of sounds, getting caught wasn’t an option! I teased her nipples with my thumbs as I kissed her soft lips. Such perfect nipples, so soft & warm in my hands. Every part of my big sis is perfect!
“I think it’s my turn, little sis.” “Your turn?” “Y-yeah, truth or dare?” I stop fondling my big sis for a moment & grin, “dare.” “I dare you to let me sit on your lap.” My lap?? My face heats up. My hands are all up on this girl’s boobs, but her sitting on my lap? Once again, I’m extremely flustered & my cheeks are hot! She was gonna feel how hard I am underneath her. My ladyboner was gonna be a dead give away for how turned on I was if it wasn’t obvious already. “Oh uh okay sis, yeah let’s do it!” I slide my hands off & sit against the back of the couch. I was about to feel her ass on my lap. I'm Instantly more throbby as she sits down on my lap, back towards me. Her ass in those short-shorts is so perfect, holy shit. My sister has a perfect butt and it’s now sitting right on my cock! I’m freaking out internally, but externally I hug her from behind & kiss the back of her neck between her pigtails. “Oh sis, your neck is so kissable.” I kiss the back of her neck more as I reach a hand up under her shirt to fondle her tits more. Cupping, squishing, rubbing, & squeezing her beautiful breasts with her squirming, aroused on my lap. She gasps & moans for me, I can’t believe we’re actually doing this together! I can’t believe I’m fondling my big sis, hearing her, & seeing her like this! I take a whiff of her scent & whisper “You’re being so good for me, big sis.” She whimpers from my praise. I lift up the back of her shirt & kiss up her pretty back while running my fingers across her bare skin. She’s so perfect! I’m reaching my hands around to caress her stomach too, she’s so soft & warm, I just wanna feel her up everywhere! I go for her legs & rub my hands upwards towards the hem of her short-shorts, caressing her inner thighs with my fingers. She lets out soft breaths & gasps throughout & it’s absolutely delightful! I slide my hands back up & tease her pretty pink nipples between my fingers, rubbing them in circular motions. She gasps again & whimpers for me. I giggle, taking pleasure in her sounds in response to my touches & my lips on her back. “P-please don’t stop, that feels good.” “Good girl for telling me, that’s what I like to hear! Can I try pulling on them for you.” “Yes, just be gentle.” “Of course, sissy!” I pinch her nipples lightly between my fingers & grab them softly. Oooh that elicited quite the verbal reaction, how nice. Let’s try this then! I pull on her nipples lightly & tug on them a little. A loud moan escapes big sister’s mouth as she leans forward. I’m so fucking wet & hard! “Are you two okay up there?” One of my parents ask, creating panic in both of us for a moment, but I use my tone faking skills I’ve developed over the years to keep us safe. “Yeah, it’s just been a while since I stretched & my back felt so good, sorry about that!” I said & they never came upstairs to check on us thankfully, so they must have bought it. I playfully pull my sister’s nipples again, she’s covering her own mouth this time & I twist them lightly for her. She grunts & moans into her hand. Big sis is such a good girl! “You okay, Wendy?” “Mhm.” She uncovers her mouth and looks back at me, breathing heavily & nodding. It was time for round 3 to start!
“Hmm you know, big sis, I think it’s my turn now. Truth or dare.” “Dare.” “I dare you to let me taste your boobs, I want to lick them & suck on them for you.” “O-okay, but how will you do that with me on your lap?” “Turn around for me & sit on my lap facing me instead, I’ll show you.” “Okay.” She nods before standing up, turning around, & sitting on my lap facing me.She’s looking at me with those pretty bedroom eyes that tell me she craves her little sister. I take my glasses off & set them aside, meeting her bedroom eyes with my own. “Good girl, Wendy!” I grab her ass & back from behind to keep her from falling off my lap & bury my face in her bare breasts. She lets out a small breath in response. I rub my face in between them, taking in her scent & feel. Her cleavage smells so good! My big sister is the best! “Wendy, your boobs feel so good on my face, thank you, now for something more enjoyable for you sis!” I plant little kisses on her boobs & in turn hear little whimpers & gasps from her. Gods, I love this so much! I stick my tongue out & rub my face around in her bosoms, licking them all over as she lets out more breaths in response. I then focus my area of tasting & lick her nipples slowly, hearing her gasp as I swirl my tongue around them. I flick them with my tongue & every time, without fail, her body & vocals react to me. Big sister tastes so good! “Mmm sissy, you taste so good! I’m gonna suck on them now, okay?” She nods & wraps her arms around me gently. I support her back in my hands as as I lean down & start sucking on her left tit. She moans & gasps for me as I suck on her breast, grabbing hold of my jacket with both arms wrapped around me. I begin to suck harder on her nipple & swirl my tongue around it too, her grip on me tightens & she whimpers & moans softly, music to my ears with every noise my big sister makes. She’s so beautiful & makes such beautiful sounds, how fitting! I stop & start sucking on her right breast, right on the nipple, while I use one hand to reach up & play with her already sensitive left breast. Can’t leave either of them unattended, my sister deserves only the best! She squeaks out a loud moan despite trying to hold it in, how lovely! I’m getting so fucking wet & hard beneath her, I’m sure she can tell. Surely she can feel me poking her? She must not mind feeling me throb for her. What a lovely big sister! She’s so good to me! I start licking, sucking, & taking turns doing so to both of her voluptuous breasts, I just can’t get enough! Her grunts & gasps, her back arching into my hands as she reacts to my mouth on her. Everything about my older sister is divine! I stop & check in on her again. “How are you feeling, big sis?” “Good.” “That’s good, I’m glad, cutie!” She’s looking at me longingly for more like she wants me for dinner! The lustful look in her eyes as we make eye contact makes me throb even harder beneath her, creating even more of a wet spot on my jeans. As if I wasn’t soaked enough already! “Little sister, I think it’s my turn now.”
“O-oh yes right, of course.” She leans onto me & kisses my lips suddenly, passionately, her arms wrapped around my shoulders. “G-go ahead, sorry, I just really missed this. Truth or dare?” I rub her back and kiss her lips now for a good minute or so, taking in the taste & feel of her soft pink lips once again. “Nothing to be sorry about sis, your kisses are amazing! As for truth or dare though hmmm...” she suddenly kisses me more & sucks on my lip, I moan into our kissing. She then slips her tongue onto mine & I grip her hard as we keep going. Big sis & I are swapping spit just like I dreamt about all those years ago! Her soft wet tongue feels just as perfect as I thought it would! I’m so fucking wet & hard, holy shit this is amazing! I reach up under her shirt & caress her bare back, running my nails along her soft warm skin lightly. We both pull away for a moment with spit trailing between our mouths & chins, breathing hard & longing for each other like animals ready to mate. “Okay, this time for real. Truth or dare?” she asks me. “You know my answer, you hottie.” I say, smirking playfully. “I-I dare you to let me feel your cock. I want it, I want to feel it please!” My soul nearly left my body on the spot, she wants my girldick, holy shit!! My face is as molten hot as a volcano! “Y-you w-want to f-feel my cock?” I ask her, flabbergasted & the most flustered I’ve ever been in my life up to that point. She nods, affirming that she did in fact ask to feel my dick. “W-well big sis u-um h-how do you wan-want to um feel it?” She shrugs. “I just want to.” “You just want my cock really bad?” Her cheeks get absolutely flushed & she nods shyly. I take a deep breath, okay, this is her first time & she’s a little uncertain, what should we do? “O-okay let’s um- h-how about you uh take one of your hands and um put it on my lap?” She nods shyly, pulls her shirt down, & gets off my lap to sit right beside me on the couch, laying her head against mine softly. I move one of her pigtails out the way & kiss her cheek. She was so warm in the face & hasn’t touched me yet. “It’s okay if you aren’t comfortable, you don’t have to if don’t want to, okay?” She nods & then nervously places her hand onto my lap, her cheeks a bright pink. “Down a little more, dear sister.” She nods again & slides her hand down until she gets right onto my bulging hard-on. “Oooh fuck.” I moan out for her, gripping onto the couch tightly with my hands at my side. She curls her fingers in a bit, essentially wrapping them around my cock through my jeans. I whimper a little, I'm so sensitive! Oh my god, my big sister is touching my cock! This is the best day ever! “W-Wendy your hand feels good right there!” She starts to rub on it softly with her fingers, up & down through the fabric, it takes everything in me not to be too loud & get us caught! I, her little sister of many years, was now singing a symphony just for her! I lean into her ear & whisper quietly through my gasps & moans, begging her “mm f-fuck Wendy p-please don’t stop, it feels so good!” She nods & starts rubbing my cock faster & having now applied more pressure. I grip onto her with one hand, moaning & gasping into her ear. “W-Wendy, your pretty good at this for your first time.” “T-thanks.” Her beautiful hands feel & look so good rubbing me through my jeans. “Heheh no problem big sis. May I do another?” “Sure.” Round 4 was starting since we just couldn’t keep our hands off each other!
“Truth or dare.” “Dare.” “I dare you to take that hand of yours & touch my ladyboner through my underwear.” “O-okay.” I slide my jeans down & my throbbing wet member pops out via my boxers, a big wet spot right on the tip. “It’s really wet.” “Yeahhh because of you sis! Again, you don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with.” “I’ll touch it above there then.” “Sounds good to me, whatever you’re comfy with!” She slides her hand across my underwear & I gasp, already feeling her close makes it throb even more. Even just the anticipation is killing me! She gets to below my tip where the surface area is still dry & starts to caress & rub my cock around with her fingers. Oooooh fuck this feels so good! Sister’s hands feel so good on my cock, holy fuck. If this is wrong then I never wanna be right! I stick part of my still unzipped jacket in my mouth to deafen my verbal reactions. She stops rubbing & looks at me concerned. “You okay?” I stop biting the jacket & giggle, blushing & smiling at her. “Yes, I’m okay, it’s just your touch feels so good & I don’t want us to get caught. No worries, please keep going.” “Oh okay.” She’s blushing so much & smiles shyly before she starts rubbing my shaft again, stroking it up & down now through the fabric. She’s got her whole hand around it now, holy shit. I bite down on my jacket, but I’m still moaning through it & she can tell how good I feel as she starts stroking me faster. Ooooh fuck, big sister pleaseeee! Your hand feels too good!! My precum starts getting everywhere & she keeps stroking my dick despite it getting all over her hands. I’m getting so soaked from my sister that the fabric of my boxers is making sopping wet noises as she jacks me off! I’m looking up into her eyes like the needy little girl I am. I love big sis Wendy so much! She’s doing so good jacking her little sister off! I let go of my jacket, whimpering & moaning softly, I need her, I need my sissy! “Oooh fuck Wendyyyy mmmm feels so good ffffuckkkk!” “Heheh I’m glad!” She jacks me off more & more, not stopping. I’m really bringing out the pervert in my big sister, she doesn’t even care that I’m getting her hand all wet as opposed to earlier. She must love that I’m making all this juice just for her! What a naughty older sister, I love that!
“My hand is getting tired.” “Okay well, that’s okay, let’s change my dare for you then. I dare you to show me your panties & then let’s try something special together.” “Okay.” She nods & moves her hand off my cock. My boxers are absolutely soaked all over! “Um what should I do about all this?” My face turns bright pink as she shows me all the precum on her hands, her palm & fingers are coated with it! “Uh umm well, there’s no napkins up here or towels so uhhhh just use my jacket, it’s black & it’ll dry quickly so no one will notice!” “Okay!” She wipes all the precum onto my jacket & I giggle, a bit embarrassed by my mess. “Sorry about that, I didn’t expect you to get so into it & you made me super wet.” “That’s okay little sis.” She’s smiling at me with rosey red cheeks & climbs onto my lap. We kiss once more, arms wrapped around one another, both smiling into the embrace of our lips. We’re so in sync right now, it’s incredible! I love Wendy! “So um you just wanna see them?” “Yeah, I wanna see what my big sister’s got going on, your butt too maybe if that’s okay!” “Okay.”
Not so much as a few hours ago I never would have thought I’d be seeing my older sister unbuttoning her jean shorts in right front of me, on my lap no less! I can’t help but bite my lip as I watch her hands work at the buttons. “So what was the thing you wanted to try with me?” “Well, I wasn’t gonna put it inside or anything as that’s kinda risky & I’m not sure if either of us brought condoms & I don’t know your comfort levels since this is all new to you aaaand I’m over explaining! Anyway um... I wanted to try f-fucking you t-through our clothes like from behind.” “Dry humping?” “Y-yeah!” “Okay, well let me show you my underwear first.” “O-okay!” She slides the tops of her shorts down a bit revealing Batman panties.“W-wow sis those are really pretty on you!” “T-thanks, I just kinda threw these on before I left.” “Y-yeah no problem! You look really good in them!” We’re both awkward blushing messes trying to keep our composure for whatever reason. She was above me looking down at me with her panties out, I felt like I was in Heaven & looking at the most beautiful angel I’ve ever seen!
I wasn’t good at handling silence back then as I always felt I needed to fill up that space so I moved on saying “well, why don’t I try dry humping you?” “Okay, so; um... where do you want me to be?” “I’ll help show you, get off my lap first though. Not that I don’t love you being on top of me heheh!” She blushes, climbs off my lap, & sits beside me. “Okay so keep those shorts unbuttoned, now go ahead & bend over on the couch for me, sis.” “On the back of the couch or on the floor?” “On the floor so we don’t get caught, the couch will hide us.” “Okay.” She gets on her knees & leans her upper body on the couch. I sit on the floor & caress her voluptuous ass with both hands, give it a little squeeze. I hear her let out a little gasp. “Good girl, Wendy!” “Thank you.” I can hear the desire in the thanks she gave. Her craving tone, big sis wants me so bad. I lovingly kiss her ass before I get on my knees & press my body up against hers. I reach my hands down & hold her hips, caressing her in both my hands. I rub my right hand under her shirt & up her back, feeling her soft warm skin. God, she’s so beautiful, even bent over in front of me like this. My older sister’s soft sides are gorgeous too & such grabbable hips, perfect for holding! “You ready, sissy?” “Mhm.” She nods & I grab a good hold of both her hips & I start thrusting into her ass. “Mmm!” She moans out for me & grunts with each thrust. The skin of her beautiful legs vibrating every time I collide with her, her pig tails bouncing around lightly. Big sis makes the best noises! I start thrusting harder & faster into her & she uses one hand to stifle her sounds. I wish she wouldn’t, but I know for both our sakes that she must! “May I slide your shorts down now?” “Okay, just not all the way.” “Is it okay if I slide them down enough to see your butt?” “Um y-yeah.” “Are you sure? I just wanna make sure you’re comfortable.” She turns her face to look me in my eyes & says “I’m sure, it’s fine.” We’ve built up so much trust over the years that I knew she was telling the truth. I slide her shorts down more to where I can see her beautiful butt & I caress her sweet ass with both hands. I tease one thumb slightly under the waistband of her panties, running my finger along her bare butt & onto her butt crack, I rub there affectionately, wanting to tease her a bit, “good girl Wendy.” She moaned in response to feeling my touch against her bare skin, I take my thumb out of her undies & lightly pat her butt. “Your butt is absolutely perfect & so beautiful Wendy.” “Thank you.” “My pleasure dear, now is it okay if my underwear touches yours?” “Yeah.” “Okay, it’s only fair I expose mine to you too, heheh!” “Heh yeahh.” I slide my jeans down to where my underwear is fully exposed & press my wet throbbing member right up against her ass. She lets out a soft little whimper. “You feel how hard I am?” I ask in response to her sounds. “Y-yeah kinda.” “Alright let me make sure you feel it even more then.” I reach down & adjust my cock’s direction to slide in as deep as it can into her panty-covered backside & press myself as close onto her as I can. She moans lightly. “Oh yeah, now you feel it don’t ya, sis? You ready for me?” “Mm yeah I’m ready.” I grab a good hold of my sister’s hips again & start thrusting my cock into her. She whimpers louder & I start pumping it into her panty-covered ass faster. Her ass bouncing as I collide with her, my cock rubbing against her somewhere between her butt & her pussy. She’s loving it, gripping the couch tight as my boner rocks into her. My cock feels so warm pressing into her here, holy shit it feels so good! Even I have to stifle my own noises from how good this feels! My older sisters body is so perfect, I can’t get enough! At some point I’m just rubbing my cock up against her buttocks as it loses it’s initial position, but it feels so good up against her ass!
“Hey can we stop?” I was surprised, but alright. “Yeah, of course!” She pulls up her shorts & buttons them up. I pull up my jeans in turn. “Wait, you don’t have to... um I have an idea I wanna try.” My face instantly heats up again. I’m so gay for her, holy shit! “Oh? What’s your idea?” I’m surprised she’s taking the reins of our little homoerotic dance now. “Lay down on the couch for me.” WHAT did she just say? “L-lay down? W-where at?” “Against the back of the couch as low & far back as you can.” She’s um really taking initiative huh? Well, who am I to say no? She clearly has an idea she’s invested in trying & I’d love to indulge my big sister’s whimsies! Though she’s so much more innocent than me seemingly so I wonder what she’s thinking of trying... hmm. “Yes ma’am! Your wish is my command, big sis!” I smile at her & she’s smiling back at me with flushed cheeks. I lay back against the back of the couch with only my head tilted up a bit against the back of it. She takes off her glasses & places them on a side shelf this time. “I’m good for whatever you want to try so just go for it, alright? Surprise me!” I’m sure that whatever she wants to try, I’ve already done with Cassandra before; so, it’s not like it’ll be anything I wouldn’t be used to already. She suddenly climbs up on top of me & pins my wrists down! Oh, she’s taking full initiative! Cassandra never does anything like this. I’m... speechless! All I can mutter out is an, “oh!” while my cheeks become the hottest they’ve ever been! “You okay?” “Y-y-y-yeahhh... please continue, I’m just surprised!” Her knees are at my sides, her ass is on my cock, & I’m pinned down unable to escape my older sisters clutches, just how I like it!I’ve never had anything like this happen before!It figures that one of the most physically affectionate women in my life would be so assertive in the bedroom. I just had to get her out of her shell. Now the beast has gone wild & I had no idea what was next! “Good.” She starts grinding her crotch softly & slowly on my bulge! I whimper & moan, “mmm ooooh fuck!” quietly as to not get us caught. Upon hearing that, she grins & starts rubbing herself on my dick even faster, she’s grunting & gasping too while looking down at me. I can’t escape & she’s rubbing herself on my cock, I think I might just explode! My older sister is the best! Fuck oh fuck her crotch is getting so warm too, holy shit! Warm & damp on my cock! She must be super wet if I can feel this through her panties & short-shorts! “Oh fuck fuck fuck Wendyyy, that’s it beautiful, oh fuck oh fuck I love you so much big sister!” She manages to utter out an “I love you too little sister” while losing herself in pleasure. Rocking forward & back on me, she’s so good at this! She’s using me like a fucking sex toy & I’m the little perverted sister who loves it! Oooh fuck her crotch feels amazing! I’m in heaven, I must be because she’s a fucking angel! Her crotch perfectly shaped & rubbing on my cock through both of our pants just feels so fucking incredible! Her warm damp crotch only making me harder & bigger for her to get herself off on. Her breasts swaying beneath her shirt, her thick legs rubbing against me too. Her eyes lustful & longing, looking at me as she fucks her clit on my dick. Her soft little moans & whimpers. This is so fucking perfect! She leans down & kisses my lips while rubbing her clit on me. Fuck I’m tasting my big sister while she fucks her clit on my dick! She slips her tongue into my mouth & I’m moaning, whimpering desperately into our kisses. She’s a goddess! She pulls away & her spit falls onto my chin. She’s looking down on me once more while getting her clit off against my bulge. She’s riding me, frotting with me. My own big sister fucking herself on me & here I thought I was the one having "indecent" thoughts all those years ago! This is a dream come true! “Mmm fuck sis can you show me your boobs again please?” “Sure.” She takes them out quickly & continues desperately frotting against my cock, her beautiful breasts swaying as she rides me. Fuckkk she’s so hot!
She folds her legs up & is just sitting on me now, her hands on my breasts for support. She’s riding me up high now & I can see her beautiful boobs so much easier. I reach up & fondle her while she rubs herself against me. She lets out a loud moan, but no one seems to notice so squeeze them & she stifles out another loud moan. She’s so cute & hot, holy shit! Big sis is riding me like I’m her personal dildo & I would gladly be her toy any day of the week if this is what that entails! I flick her nipples while she rocks back & forth on my cock. She gasps loudly. I then pull them a bit & she ceases up for a moment, covering her mouth & letting out a long moan into her hand. “Heheh my bad sis, maybe that one was a bit much.” “No it’s okay!” She leans back down & kisses my lips, our boobs pressed together, as she continues to ride me relentlessly! This is her first time & she’s made me her personal sex toy! This girl is wild & I love it! I reach around & grab her ass with one hand, squeezing & caressing it, & rub her cheek softly with the other as we kiss sloppily. I slide my hand beneath her pants & panties grabbing her bare ass as we start tongue kissing. She moans loudly into our kissing, but doesn’t stop; so, I just keep a hold of her like that & help push her rocking motions on my cock. So many wonderful touches & tastes all at once! If we weren’t worried about getting caught, I’m sure she could have overstimulated me & I would thank her for it! She’s so flexible too, riding me with full force like this, legs up, ass down! My big sister is amazing in all ways! “I-I think I’m starting to feel something!” “Good girl Wendy, chase that feeling!” She nods. She starts rubbing herself against my cock faster & harder, rolling her head back as the pleasure overtakes her whole body! “There you go there you go, that’s it! Keep it up! Good girl!” Oh fuck I’m staring to feel something too actually, I think I’m gonna climax soon just from my sister’s clothed crotch! I gotta wait until she does though, that way she can use my big hard dick as her toy! Her head is rolled back & she’s moaning out just for me! This is so hot! She’s practically pumping my dick with the warm damp crotch area of her pants & her weight combined! I grab onto her ass with both hands now & rocking her back & forth, helping her clit get rocked even harder against my girldick! She’s rocking against me so good! Doing such a good job! “Oh oh fuck oh fuck fuck fuck!” she sputters out, it seems like she’s getting close! I can’t believe I’m gonna make my big sister orgasm from frotting! That’s it, ride your little sister’s cock like a good girl! This is what little sisters are for after all! This is my purpose as your younger sibling, I’m meant to pleasure you! I can feel her riding desperately, I’m rocking her ass back & forth as best as I can! We can do this! Such a desperate needy girl, I never knew this side of her! I feel her tense up on my cock for a moment & then she’s catching her breath on me.
“Hey, you okay, sissy?” “Yeah I just felt so good, it all felt so good.” “Awww, good girl! I’m glad dear.” “Did you cum yet, little sis?” “No, not quite yet, but you certainly got me close!” “Okay.” She puts her hands back on my chest & starts grinding on my cock super hard & fast! She has a second wind?!? “This feel good, little sis?” “mmmmf fffffuckk yes yes yes yes!” I’m moaning out for her desperately! “I love you big sister!” “I love you too!” “You wanna make me cum that bad?” “Hhh fuck of course I do!” She leans down & starts kissing my neck & licking it whilst riding me & flicks my nipples, teasing them with her fingers & even going so far as to lick them & suck them while putting all this pressure & movement on my cock! Her damp wet crotch rubbing up on me, making me so so neeedy ffffuck! She takes her boobs back out for me to see, knowing how much I enjoy seeing them. They’re swaying with her as she rides me so good! Oooooh fuck big sis is so sexy, I’m getting close hhh fuck!!! She’s grinding as fierce as she was before, her crotch pumping my cock through my jeans! “Good girl good girl good girl that’s it, just like that don’t fucking stop!” Oh my god oh my god I’m gonna- fffuckkk I’m gonna- I’m gonna cum ffffuck she’s riding me so hard, her pigtails hit my face at some point & hair got in my mouth, but she feels so good on me that I don’t care, I’m moaning out for her. I need my sis I need her I need herrr! I’m gonna cum for my big sis! I’m gonna fucking cum for my older sister ffffffuuuuuuckkkkk! I can barely keep a hold of her ass she’s making me feel too good! I suddenly cum so much as she rides me some more! I let out a long moan for my big sis Wendy, looking up into her eyes desperately as she milks my cock! Hhhhh fuckkkkk! I’m catching my breath now, “I love you so much Wendy.” “I love you too Rose.” “Let’s lay down big sister, you did a great job making me cum & I hope I got to make you cum too.” “I don’t know if I did or not since this was my first time, but thank you little sis.” “My pleasure.” We kiss each other a few times & sit up for a bit against the couch together. She gets up to put her beanie back on, her glasses, & her bra as well before coming to sit back down with me, bringing my glasses over too. I put them back on before I wrap my arm around her shoulder & she rests her cheek on me. “So Wendy, for your first time, how was it.” “It felt so good.” “God, I’m so glad & I know right! Pretty amazing huh?” “Mhm!” “You’re an amazing older sister, you know that?” “Well, you’re an amazing younger sibling!” “Aw shucks, we’re both pretty great, aren’t we? Though I will say I was pleasantly surprised with the way you took charge during that last bit. You really know how to get a girl going!” “Thank you.” She turns her head away a bit shyly. She’s so cute when she’s shy like that. “You know for someone who was telling me not too long ago that you weren’t sure if you were bisexual or straight, you sure just did have your first real sexual experience with a woman. That’s kinda gay!” “Heheh yeah, I guess I am bi after all!” “That’s the spirit, welcome to the gay club, haha!” She goes to the bathroom to clean up & stuffs some toilet paper into her undies to avoid a yeast infection since she didn’t bring a change of clothes with her. When she came back she told me “you know that thing I felt earlier was probably me cumming because when I looked, I was soaked!” “Aww yay, well, I’m glad I could help do that for you & help cheer you up a little bit today sis!” I was so happy that I could help her reach orgasm & seemingly one of her first orgasms at that! It was such an honor! I’m such a good little sister! I quickly & quietly snatched some underwear from my room & changed into that, but I had no other blue jeans so for the entire rest of the visit I had to keep my jacket covering my crotch by having my hands in my pockets if I went anywhere else in the house. I was stuck with the mess my big sister made me create that had leaked through my boxers. How lewd!
“Wait, which one of us won Truth or Dare?” Wendy asked. “I think we're far beyond Truth or Dare at this point big sis, heheheh, but let's say we both won today! I lost track honestly!” I smile at big sis & hold her hand. “Heheh! Yeah same, it was really fun though!”
“I love you, big sis Wendy.”
“I love you too little sis.”
We cuddle quietly for a bit & she ends up falling asleep on my chest for 30-60 minutes. I kept rubbing her back soothingly until she passed out. She’s so pretty when she’s asleep; so at peace, I love her so much. I never want this moment to end. Her mom arrives to come pick her up gives her 20 minutes to wrap things up. We kiss a bunch, a little lip sucking, a little tongue, and cheek caressing tenderly. We both wished this could happen more often, that this could last outside of today, but it would complicate things for all of us. Cassandra probably wouldn’t like it either & so we hugged & didn’t let go for a whole minute or so. “Back to normal I guess, huh sis?” We both sigh & look at one another. “Yeahh, but that was nice.” “It sure was Wendy, I don’t know if I’ll be able to forget.” “That’s okay, I’m not sure if I will either.” There was a bittersweet energy in the air between us; we both got a bit teary eyed, but neither of us regretted a thing. We kept it our little secret from Cassandra, Jessy, & everyone else.
A week later it was birthday bash time! A hang out at my big sister’s place, I was one of the first people invited apparently! Now’s the time to act normal, we just fucked like a week ago, but it’ll be okay! Just play it cool. As I got there I was welcomed with open arms by Wendy & she squeezed me tight, I squeezed her tightly in return. “You doing okay sis?” “Yeah, you?” “Yeah!” We smiled at each other & exchanged a knowing bittersweet look in that moment, we both remembered everything that went down on that special impromptu siblings day, but we couldn’t say it. Not in front of all these people. Not in front of my parents or hers. Not when Cassandra was also invited along with a few others. She held my hand & brought me into the living room where everyone else was & for a moment I lit up once more. I was hers again, the target of her affection, if only for a fleeting moment. I wonder if she felt the same for those few seconds. The party was amazing, Cassandra showed up & sat in my lap. Wendy playfully sat in Cassandra’s lap for a minute much to Cassandra’s surprise “woah Wendy-.” Was there any meaning to that or was it just Wendy being Wendy? We’ll never know. Then everyone else proceeded to try & join in on the lap sitting sandwich & they all fell over except Cassandra and myself. Back to normalcy I guess. Then the funniest thing happened late into the night near when the party ended & Wendy was in the bathroom. Jessy pulled me aside into Wendy’s room with her other friend Laurel asked me like, “hey you hung out with Wendy most recently & you see her often, do you think she’s straight or bisexual?” The entire gay sex scenario that we just had a week ago flashed back through my mind at light speed & I just stared at the floor for a few seconds. Wow, this is the worst possible question! “Hmm you know, I think she’s bi, but that’s just my speculation!” “What’s the basis for that?” Jessy responded inquisitively. “Eh, nothing really, just the vibes, y'know? There’s just something about her! Not really sure it's our place to speculate though!” I shrug & take a big long sip of my drink, staring at the floor once again. She was absolutely bisexual, her first orgasm & sex was with a woman! You’re asking the girl who gave it to her, who unlocked the bisexuality! These two would never know the truth, nor would anyone irl as far as I know.
💖Author Note: I’m only sharing this because I wanted to write a love letter to my past, to her in how we felt about each other back then, & those beautiful moments we shared together. Also I wanted to try my hand at writing more smut & sometimes you just like to think back on past sexual experiences. Really stepped into my own past memories, feelings, & POV with this one. I wanted to get this wonderful story out there for the world to see/hear without giving away the secret. A few tweaks, a few name changes, some added details, some details left out. This is all based on truth & a love I felt so deep but couldn’t have in this life. I still absolutely love my big sister, love her to death, but it’s not like that now (as far as I’m aware) & I’m perfectly content with that reality! If you see this; no, I’m not gonna make it weird unless you want to, though I doubt you would. We’re both older adults now than we were when this story took place & we’re at different places in our lives than we were back then. Hard to ever forget an experience like that though, you gotta admit! It was pretty gay! 💜
#I’m taking some creative liberties with this for the sake of story telling but this is rooted in truth; at least the majority of it is#little disclaimer of course that this is all just young adults playing pretend; we weren’t actually raised together or anything like that#no genetic relation whatsoever between parents; siblings; etc. I know this disclaimer shouldn’t be necessary but I’m trans so yeah lmao#also this is very reminiscent of early 2000s queer sisterhood relationships & is apparently way more common than I had thought#found family turns gay moments; I’m also changing names & things a bit for privacy reasons obviously; if she somehow finds this though#then we’ll just cross that bridge & have that conversation when we get there if she wants to; I’m not too pressed or stressed about it tbh#I’m making up names for everyone in the story but I honestly could never forget an experience like this#I don’t know if she ever forgot either seeing as she’s now seemingly a part of a polycule? or might be? I think that's neat#yknow polyamory the thing we talked briefly about? yeah so I must have awakened something in her; awakening times 2#a bi discovery wasn’t the only thing made this day lmaoooo I put a lot of heart and soul into this story; I’m sure that’s probably obvious#it has a happy ending; at least one I’m satisfied with; but that’s because it’s literally based on my life & events & relationships irl#fauxcest#siscon#siscest#sibcest#sibcon#trans nsft#nsft trans#nonbinary nsft#trans ns/fw#tagging it with all the labels since I know how some people on here are about stuff#this took me like a whole 3-4 days to publish so please reblog it! I worked hard on this & I worked on this hard! lmao#be loyal to your partners; don't cheat. I wanna clarify that. do as i say not as i do or whatever; I was young; this was a long time ago
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angstics · 1 year
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so now we know why vincent price is right
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andytheconstelation · 3 months
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Bittersweet tenderness
Written on the 11th of December 2023
Damned be the mere instants of starshine blooming eyes,
Damned be the evanescent veil of hope, withering away;
For it's an offence aimed at reality, to venture upon it's limits;
For the woe of desillusion is only made harder by it's wrath;
Damned be the sweet moments in time, rare as they might've been
Seeing as a spark is enough for a starved heart to light a forest fire;
And what can candle defenses accomplish faced with passion flames?
It's blinding lights twisting the vision, seeing fragile wire as solid bond
Oh lingering esperance how I curse you
-AD
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idiopathicsmile · 7 months
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you know what really grinds my gears?
okay, bear with me: so as you may know, harry houdini and arthur conan doyle were friends, at least for a while.
by the early 1920s, both arthur conan doyle and acd's wife jean, aka lady doyle, believed whole-heartedly in spiritualism, talking to ghosts and all of that. (sidenote: this was of course right on the heels of a devastating world war and a devastating pandemic, both of which had created a huge population of grieving people, so spiritualism was having a moment.)
lady doyle sincerely thought she had the ability to go into a trance state and pass along messages in writing from the dead. she offered to do this for houdini. houdini agreed.
lady doyle attempted to channel houdini's late mother. she basically drew a cross at the top of the paper and filled it with generic platitudes addressed to "harry." houdini's mom was jewish and didn't talk like that, so houdini knew the jig was up, even if lady doyle didn't. but not wanting to make the situation awkward, he kind of went along with it to their faces.
then acd decided to publish a glowing account of the seance, and since both he and houdini were super famous, it got a lot of attention, and letters started pouring in for houdini, asking if this was true. ultimately, houdini couldn't lie about it. so he essentially said, like, "yeah, i think lady doyle THINKS she can talk to ghosts but she absolutely can't." and it ruined his friendship with acd forever.
and then of course a lot of the people running seances weren't even well-intentioned like lady doyle, they were just simple charlatans taking advantage of traumatized people mourning loved ones. in houdini's youth, he and his wife had traveled the carnival circuit where he did an act pretending to commune with spirits, so he knew all the tricks of the trade AND he had lingering guilt over having done this, AND he was infuriated by this increasingly popular wave of con artists so he decided to assemble a team of anti-grifting grifters and together they went on the road exposing whichever spiritualists were preying on the locals.
houdini's best agent was a young woman named rose mackenberg, who donned disguises to visit the fraud de jour and then importantly sussed out what non-supernatural thing was actually happening, and then houdini would demonstrate the techniques onstage to packed audiences.
(if you want to know more, check out episode 175, "ghost racket crusade" of the podcast Criminal or read Tony Wolf's book The Real-Life Ghostbusting Adventures of Rose Mackenberg.)
but yeah, what really gets my goat is that all this happened and as far as i know, we still don't have like four seasons of a Leverage-style historical procedural about rose mackenberg and the rest of the crew having adventures in the 1920s as they unmask craven hucksters all over the united states. (what we do have, apparently, is one season of a show called "houdini and doyle" which is about the oddball friendship of two contrasting men solving sometimes-actually-supernatural mysteries, and whose premise does i think at the very least a real disservice to houdini's whole quest and also totally erases rose, who is arguably the most interesting part of this story to me.)
i am just steamed about this. steamed.
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akiraofthefour · 1 year
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I hung out with some friends from undergrad that I haven't seen since (my) graduation last night, and it was so nice!!! It was so refreshing to see them and see that we still gelled as well as we had 9ish years ago (!!!).
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halcyone-of-the-sea · 11 months
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ooh im glad!!! so, expanding on that then..
how about price with a civvi wife/gf, and when they’re talking over the phone while he’s gone, she’s being kinda cagey and definitely omitting something, but he doesn’t know what. so when he gets back home she tells him she’s pregnant? really just a lot of fluff (and maybe angst? 👀 like about how his job is super dangerous and he might not come home, so he has fears about it?? bc your angst is so good it makes me sob violently /pos)
ive never sent a request before, so if this is too specific or something, feel free to whittle it down or toss it, i don’t wanna bug you lol
have a good day hal, love u!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Our Remains
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Pairing: John Price x F!Reader
Synopsis: You disliked hiding things from John. Certainly something as big as this.
Word Count: 4.8k
Warnings: Pregnancy, allusions to breeding kink & unprotected seggsy time, morning sickness, angst, major fluff at the end
A/N: This was an adorable request, Anon!! Thanks so much for sending it in.
*I do not give others permission to translate and/or re-publish my works on this or any other platform*
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You disliked hiding things from John. It not only felt like a betrayal of his unlimited trust in you but also a slap in the face for what you had built with each other. The both of you were always honest to a fault when it came to your relationship—like how a bird was loyal to the sky. It was an unselfish principle; a promise of pure love and devotion that transcended touch or given gifts.
You told each other things. Everything. Down to how much you had spent on groceries that day just because it was something to talk about and share; something that made you closer to one another even when you were apart. You told the Brit what you planted in the back garden—what shirt you were wearing!
But now you hold the ringing phone in your hand and for the first time in your entire relationship, you consider lying. 
Your eyes bore into the icon of John’s smiling face, head covered by a black beanie and beard tilted up softly. Affectionately, his name on the device had been changed to ‘Grumpy St. Bernard,’ but now the title made your lips go thin instead of the usual giggling reaction. No heat spreads over your cheeks; no excitement.
Just an overwhelming sense of dread.
The week had started just as the last three had. A special form of hell. At nearly six o’clock you would whip back the covers with all the fervor of a terrified rabbit being chased by a hawk; the taste of bile immediately snapping you to attention as the toilet acts as your commanding officer. 
You imagined John would get a chuckle out of that comparison, but when you’re hurling up your guts in nothing more than a pair of your boyfriend’s boxers and a tank top it’s hard to think about all that. The taste of bile was still lickable from your lips as the bathroom tile digs into your knees, ringing phone still in your palm. 
The idea of a pregnancy test slid into your subconscious in the first week of John’s two-month deployment, the tantalizing thought that was like a hook to a fish. You had pulled on the string, of course, and had instantly drowned in air. But you hadn’t taken one until now. Too nervous, perhaps. Hesitant. 
In your other hand, opposite of the buzzing phone, you held three positive pregnancy tests in a shaking grip. Pink and white plastic mock you from the corner of your vision; two double lines. 
John’s icon dims. 
You press the green circle in your panic, mouth opening and closing yet no sounds escaping. Would you tell him now? Later? Was it right to tell him about this now—when he was halfway across the continent? Fear overtakes your heart for no apparent reason. You didn’t want him to act rashly, especially when John could act so stubborn when he wanted to. 
He was always so concerned about you when he was away but you were concerned just the same. That man was the one who was getting shot at constantly, not you.
“Took you a while to answer. Trying to give me the slip, then, Sweetheart?” John’s gravelly voice helped slightly, making your heart still, even if for a short moment. You close your eyes and tilt your head down, lips quivering at the soft chuckle over the line.
God, you loved him so much.
Blue eyes furrowed in confusion at the silence on the line, the chilled Switzerland air sneaking inside John’s compression shirt as he stood on the hotel balcony. The sounds of gentle conversation twitch his ears from inside the room—the voices of the One-Four-One a dull mumble behind the half-closed sliding door. They had been playing cards before the Captain had easily slipped away to check up on you. 
He tried to call as often as he could. 
John’s hips shift, one arm crossed over his chest as the other presses the phone harder to his ear. Lips pull to a frown, beard bristles going with them, before the lines on the Brit’s forehead grow larger.
“...Love?” Naturally, a sliver of concern wedges itself into his ribs but it subsides when your calming voice spreads honey over the call. John’s shoulders fall back down. 
You breathe deeply, hands dropping the tests onto the bathroom counter with a small clack of plastic. 
“John,” forcing away the hitch to your words, you stare at yourself in the mirror, free hand sliding up to lightly rest over your collarbone as a soothing method. Your eyes are so filled with shock that it throws you off. “I…I wasn’t expecting a call so soon.” 
“Hm, been up since 0500.” the man grunts, looking out over the city and seeing the rising sun before asking softly with a deep-set brow. There was something about your tone…lids narrow at nothing. “Did I wake you?” 
“No, no,” You force a chuckle, having to take a deep breath before ripping your sights from your own reflection. The disgust was settling at you trying to avoid this. But if your own brain could barely process this right now, what gave you the right to tell John when he wasn’t here? “I’ve been up for a few hours.”
Licking your lips, you run a hand over your hair, glancing out of the ajar door into the master bedroom, pushing out bland answers for only the fact that you couldn’t think clearly right now.
Jesus, this was actually happening. 
You study the thrown covers from your morning rush to the bathroom, seeing the pictures on the nightstand and feeling the delicate atmosphere that was sparking—electricity between atoms. A silent moment of realization that everything down to the bare bones of your relationship was about to change. Blinking back to the tests, you dwell in the strange fuzz that took residence in the back of your mind. 
“What’s been going on?” Your voice isn’t right. Too tight. Too…nervous. Why were you nervous? “Everyone good?” 
The Brit frowns stiffly, shifting his feet again and sending a look back into the hotel. Hunching forward, John’s large fingers fix the position of the phone as his voice lowers, ignoring your question entirely. He doesn't want to jump to conclusions, but there were pros and cons to his line of work. 
Above all, he knew when something was up with you.
“Are you alright over there, Sweetheart?” Blue eyes rove the street below, “Feelin’ okay? You sound a bit stuffed up.”
Your heart lurches, quickly stuttering through an explanation of, “O-oh, I think I just came down with something.” The irony wasn’t lost on you. “A stomach bug,” you cringe, “I’m sorry, was it that obvious?”
The laugh that exits is less convincing than you thought it would be, but it does the trick. John sighs in relief, chuckling as he shakes his head.
“No need to apologize, Love…anything bad, then? I can bring some meds from Base when I’m back if you need me to.” He was still concerned for you, but knowing that you’d never lied or withheld the truth from him before there was really no reason to believe that anything else was going on. John trusted you to the end of the earth. 
The Captain rubbed at the back of his neck, cracking his spine as he bent back. It was still early and waking up on a hotel bed without you beside him was torture. John longed for home. Longed for you.
Back at the house, your face scrunches together. 
Bad? You wonder, saying absentmindedly that some medication would be lovely. Was this…bad? 
John had always wanted to have a kid—or, at least, he’d told you as much when he was above you, filling you to the brim and then doing it again a second and third time. Thighs quivering and eyes fighting to stay open through layered bliss as sharp pants rung in your ears. 
“Gonna get you pregnant…watch you swell up…c’mon sweet thing, you can handle another one, can’t you? Need to watch it take.” 
…But was that a true feeling or just a kink? You blank and realize you’d never asked him. More than that, though, was this what you wanted? 
“When do you think you’ll be home, John?” You speak softly, palm flattening over your stomach as you exit the bathroom and sit on the end of the bed, gut swirling but not in a nauseous sort of way. “I…I really miss you, y’know? It would all be better if you were home.”
The brunette blinks softly, lids peeling back in shock for a moment before a thin thread of guilt worms its way into him. 
“Kate said two months, Love,” John speaks slowly, the grumble in his voice trying to convey his unease at your strange behavior, “You know that.”
He’d explained his job when you both had gotten serious, how he would be gone for long periods of time, and the somewhat uncomfortable situations you’d be put in because of it. You’d agreed and never brought it up when John would have to leave in the small hours of the morning and disappear for months on end. It shocked him, really, with how well you adjusted but that was just how you were. One of a kind. 
There was no one else with whom John could see himself building a life—being buried beside in some nice meadow grave plot and turning to dust together. Growing a family with. 
John cleared his throat, tilting his head down slightly before pulling himself back to the present. 
“It’s bothering you that much, eh?” His brows furrow, “Are you sure you’re alright? I can call hospital and—”
“No!” You slap a hand to your mouth, halting your outburst as blue eyes go somewhat wide, jaw slackening. Taking a breath over the shocked silence over the line, you dig your fingers into your cheek before letting your limb drop. “No, John…I-I’m sorry I just…” 
Your voice quivers.
Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry…
Eyes burning and nose twitching, you breathe heavily, mouth closing shut because you knew that if you say another word you’ll explode. You were shivering with cold sweat, scared and confused, and wanting John to hold you in his arms; whispering that it would all be okay into the shell of your ear. 
You force through a sob, “I’m just really scared.”
John tenses, one hand going to grasp the balcony with white knuckles. His mind goes into overdrive. “Scared?” the Brit prods, muscles going stiff and mind running, “What in the hell is going on?” 
Authority leaks into his tone, serious and deep. It made him nervous that he couldn’t see you right now—couldn’t stop the sounds coming from your mouth. Why were you crying? Has something horrible happened to you? Were you in trouble but were unable to tell him? John runs over your conversation again, every word and sound, as his heart races. He was wound up like a spring. 
From behind him, the conversation in the hotel room halts. 
You force your eyes closed, now up on your feet and pacing. Tears lightly patter to the floor. 
“John, I can’t tell you over the phone,” you admit, shaking, “that wouldn’t be…wouldn’t be fair to you.” Swiping at your eyes, you spread the salty liquid away from your lashes, sniffling; praying that he would understand. “But I really need you home as soon as you’re able. I don’t want to break up what's going on over there, it’s just really important. I don’t think I can wait two months by myself. You know I would never ask this if I didn’t need to.”
John’s jaw clenches, legs unable to stay still as your anxiety leaks to him. He’s nodding before he realizes you can’t see him, taking a deep breath to fill his lungs. 
“...I’ll see what I can do, then.” The brunette runs his hand over his beard pulling at the strands aggressively. What was so crucial that you can’t tell him over the phone? It was a secure line, John always made sure it was; yet, at the same time, that fact didn’t matter at all. If you needed him home so fervently—then he was coming home. That was that. “How long can you wait for me, Love?” He spares a glance inside. “There are a few loose ends that need to be taken care of here. Might complicate things.” 
You blink around the bedroom, hand wrapped around your middle and trying to run soothing circles into your skin. 
“I…I don’t…” John’s face softens, closing his eyes.
“Breathe, Sweetheart,” he whispers, “I’m comin’ home to you. We’ll get whatever this is sorted, yeah? I need you to be brave for me until then.”
Listening, you let the words calm you down, sniffling one last time like a kid who had fallen off the monkey bars before you let out a chuckle. John instantly follows his own advice when that sound wafts over the line. His shoulders fall back once more, silent sigh exiting.
“You said that exact same thing to me when I ended up burning that loaf of bread I was making—two years ago, was it? ‘Breathe, Sweetheart.’” Blue glimmers with love, cheeky tone growing. 
“Hm, nearly set the kitchen on fire, didn’t you? So much smoke I swore someone had set off a charge in the oven.” John doesn’t push you to answer him, though he’s more questions than anything else at this point. You’d said you would tell him when he’s home and he believes you. “Please, Love, at least promise me you didn’t burn the bloody house down, yeah?” 
A laugh strikes his chest, and he’s chuckling slowly in retaliation. 
“I promise, John.”
“Good.” You’re smiling for the first in what seems like ages, tears drying as the flood down your chin stops. You lick away the water stuck in the corner of your mouth when John grunts lowly, “I’ll tell the boys and inform Laswell. But I can’t say it’ll be less than two weeks.”
Nodding to yourself, you say, quietly, “Okay.” Your eyes fall to the framed picture on the nightstand—the image of John and you smiling brightly on your third anniversary. You’d gone hiking, both sweaty and dirt marks on your cheeks, but happy…always happy. Your veins pump blood faster. “I love you, John.” 
The final comment is tender; the words are more silk and soft furs than vibrating vocal cords. 
He blinks away the blush that lights his pale cheeks. John huffs, an infectious smile flickering over his face as his chest wells with affection. Acting like a bird preening itself, he smirks and says, “Well, you’re lucky then…I love you too, Sweetheart.” An exhalation echoes over the call as his tone drops, “Keep safe for me, eh? I’ll call to update tomorrow.” 
“I’ll be waiting.” 
When the phone is set down on the bed, tossed down carefully, you try to think over this situation more rationally. You wouldn’t say you were against this—building a family with John. In fact, if not him, then you don’t believe it would be anyone else. 
The Brit was the only man for you. You both knew the risks of having unprotected sex and in reality, you think neither one of you cared about the consequences. 
Nodding to yourself, you wonder how to explain this to him when he comes home as you get to fixing the sheets, one hand always drifting back to your stomach with a growing appreciation.
John jogged to his car in the underground parking garage, unlocking it with his fob as his bags are slung over his shoulders. He wastes no time chucking his belongings into the back seat, swiftly sliding into the driver's seat and slamming the door shut as the engine starts. His dog tags bounce on his chest, but he’s half convinced they move from the rate that his heart is going alone.
All through traffic his fingers are tapping against the wheel, grunting stiffly at red lights and shifting his hips. 
It had been three and a half weeks of fixing loose ends. 
“Fuckin’ hell, c’mon,” John huffs, one elbow on the car frame as his hand flattens over his lower jaw. The light slowly snaps back to green after a long minute. 
Pressing on the gas, the vehicle moves forward and continues until the familiar home comes into view on that quiet street nearly twenty minutes later. 
John barely parks the car before he hops out, leaving his bags in the back, and rushes to the door. Taking the key from under the doormat, his mind is focused on only you. He had been unable to stop his worry about you and your unnamed fear, watching the phone with every free instance he could. It had only grown as the days got longer, and no matter how much you assured him that you would be okay until he got back, deep-seated apprehension grew. He didn’t like living under a shroud, especially when it came to your health.
The key in his hand was inserted with a firm wrist and twisted, shoving open the door with a heavy shoulder like there was a cloud over his head.
“Love?!” He calls, not bothering to shuck off his boots before looking around the visible living room and foyer. “Where are you?” 
Long legs move swiftly as an utterance calls from the kitchen, barely taking the time to close the door behind him in his anxiety, “John?” 
The Brit immediately backtracks, skidding to a stop and turning with blinking eyes. His ears twitch at the sounds of dishes being dropped back into water, as his heart steadily slows at the sound of your beautiful voice calling his name. 
He rushes around the doorframe, feet stomping and hand catching the wall as you come into view, staring wide-eyed. 
Your digits are around the fabric of a dish towel, fingers dripping as John finally presents himself to you. You hadn’t heard him until he had called out, too preoccupied with your own thoughts to hear the lock click. 
But now it was like every worry you had was wiped clean at the sight of that gruff face; the hitch in his large chest. A smile slashes your lips after a moment of shocked silence.
“John!” You laugh, rushing forward, and the man lets his face soften—bringing you close to him as you draw near and trapping you in his arms. 
His breath spread out over the top of your head in a great sigh, grumbled chuckles accented by the way John’s great hands wrap around your shoulders. Fingers press you into a solid chest, digging through hair to let your ear twitch at the sound of his heartbeat. 
John doesn't speak until he has held you in his arms for at least three minutes, just pressing his face into your scalp and feeling your warmth against him. You don’t pull away either, breathing in his musk as it instinctually leads to your muscles loosening. 
Minutes later, the Brit pulls back slowly, gripping you by the shoulders and looking down into your eyes. His gaze filters over yours, taking you in before his lips meet yours in a brief yet deep kiss. You melt into it, hands going to grip his cheeks and spread throughout his beard hair, soft strands leaving you shivering when John’s thumbs rub circles into your flesh. 
He pulls back and you fight the tears in your eyes as he connects his forehead with yours. His optics shine with love, bleeding out like trapped stars; silver flecks of devotion and a blue the color of sea storms.
“What’s going on, Love?” John whispers, concern alight and raving as his grip goes to your waist, squeezing comfortingly. “I’m here. Tell me.” 
You blink slowly, lips going thin with tight brows. Swallowing through a tight throat, you nod. 
“Can you go sit in the living room, please?” Speaking carefully, you tilt your head and watch John get confused—his nose scrunching and moving his lips together. You run your thumbs over his cheeks and smile slightly, obviously nervous again. “Trust me.”
Though it wasn’t a question, John replies under his breath, “Always.” 
But still, he holds you, studying your expression and the whites of your eyes with stiff lungs. You were making him fear that something horrible was coming—something he couldn’t control. His heart begins to hurt, but he backs away from you, brows tight as he exits the kitchen and disappears into the living room. 
Taking down a swift breath when he’s out of sight, you fiddle with your fingers above your abdomen, looking down at your still-flat stomach. You knew it was stupid to worry, but how could you not? It wasn’t every day you just told your Lover you were pregnant with his child…
“John loves me,” you mutter to yourself, nodding and getting ready to go through with the plan you’d formed over the three weeks you’d been alone. “And he’ll love the both of us. I know he will.” 
Hand flattening over your stomach, you open a drawer with the other, pulling out a small cardboard box no bigger than a book. Fingers shaking, you lick your lips and feel the slight pull of a nervous, yet giddy, smile. Turning, you exit the kitchen and see John sitting with his nose resting above the clench of his fists, foot tapping. His head immediately snaps over when you come into view, hands falling to hang off his legs as the couch under him dips from his weight. 
You steel yourself and raise the box. 
“Here.” Placing it on the coffee table, you sit across from John in an armchair. 
He blinks slowly, eyes going small with curiosity. The man sends you glances through his lashes as he stares down at the object but he says nothing. Rubbing his beard with one hand, he reaches and grabs it carefully. 
Testing the weight, John is genuinely confused, clenching his jaw and feeling the material in his palm. 
“...What’s this, then?” He asks lowly, glancing at you with a raised brow and lines on his forehead. 
You put your intertwined hands in your lap, prompting with a tilt of your shoulders. 
“Open it.” Off put by your cryptic answers, John nods firmly, grasping the top of the box and pulling lightly, careful not to disturb the contents. It was strange to think, but he was honestly quite perturbed. 
What exactly was inside this box, and why had he been called home for it? He loved being here, no doubt, but the circumstances….
Blue eyes glimmer. You didn’t look overly afraid as you shifted in your seat, just plain timid—like the inside object would change something fundamental about his and yours relationship. 
John pops the top off and looks as you start talking before your throat threatens to shut you up. “I…I know it’s not a life-threatening thing to call you home for,” the man stills as if he was made of stone; a statue as non-breathing and pulse-less as anything, “But I didn’t want to tell you over the phone because that seemed so—!” 
Your voice is drowned out as John’s shaking fingers delve into the box, ears ringing. His fingers flinch off of three positive pregnancy tests and the soft fabric of the plain army green baby onesie that surrounds them; skimming slowly. 
“I found out the day you called and I said I had come down with something.” Your laugh is strained when it exits you, and you stare at the Brit hard, seeing his features utterly halt all expression. Thumbs digging into your skin, your tone drops, speaking slowly, “...John? A-are you okay? Say something to me, Love.” 
It’s only in that long minute of nothingness that you really start to get an all-consuming tenseness to your bones like a rabbit. 
Why isn’t he saying anything? 
John clears his stiff throat, blinking rapidly as he brings out one of the tests, dropping the box lightly to the coffee table with a dull thump. The twin red lines are ingrained into the softness of his retinas as the sun would be if you were to stare directly at it. 
Pregnant. 
His heart swells to an almost painful degree, blue eyes moving to look at you across the table and then dipping to your stomach. The Brit stands up slowly. 
Your lungs are tight, lids moving quickly with wetness growing in your tear ducts. 
“Please, John, what are you thinking—?” Large hands capture your arms, bringing you up as lips meet yours in a passionate and heart-stopping kiss. 
John’s limbs wrap around your hips, bringing you up into the air as gently as a bird, face parting from yours with a series of loud and genuine laughs. You snap your arms around his neck, shocked but not at all complaining as he holds you up with ease, twirling you around in a firm but ever-gentle hold. 
“You’re pregnant?” His whispers meet you, airy and deep with awe. It was like he was in his teens again, running around Herefordshire with his mates—his eyes shone with happiness; pure unabashed love. “Oh, truly, Sweetheart?”
Tears dribble down your cheeks at the sight of him glowing, beard peeled back in a large smile with wet eyes. Hiccuped giggles leave your lips as you nuzzle your face into his neck, the sight of him like this overwhelming. All stress leaves you in a millisecond when your feet hit the ground again. 
“Yes, John,” you sob, overjoyed, pulling back so you both can stare into each other's teary eyes as the Brits’ fingers go to shakily wipe the waterworks from your under eyes. His orbs flicker quickly, looking you over in an entirely different light. “You’re going to be a father.” 
He fights through a scratchy voice, “Me?” The tone is amused, but he can’t articulate how exalted he feels to hear that. A father…him? It was more than he could have ever asked for, and, even better—John whispers out, “You’re going to be a mum.” 
You kiss him, multiple quick pecks that he returns through shared joyous chuckles.
“I didn’t want to tell you over the phone,” the confession meets the air as one of John’s hands travels to cup your flat abdomen, fingers flinching over the fabric of your shirt to sneak under. You laugh and shiver at his calluses, as his blue eyes are so soft they could be compared to butter. “And I couldn’t wait two months.”
“Christ, Love,” John lays a kiss on your forehead, needing to be as close to you as possible. You can feel his heart through his chest, and you know yours isn’t any better. This was far more than you could have hoped for. He mutters against your skin, “I’m so glad you didn’t. This is bloody amazing news—I want to be here for all of it.” 
Sea storms lock onto your face with a grunt, “You’re so lovely. Perfect, yeah?”
His warm hand still rests under your shirt, and you doubt it’s going to leave anytime soon.
You feel your cheeks heat and you smile bashfully, heart about to explode.
“You are.” John reiterates. “You’re so fuckin’ perfect, Sweetheart. I’m so happy.” 
The air is ripe with tenderness, a soft state of being that just keeps getting better. John had silent tears dripping down his face, blinking to clear them and not letting you leave his hold for a second. 
“Oh, John,” you whisper, digging your fingers into the back of his shirt, looking up. “Me too, Love.” 
While the glee is nearly physical enough to grab, there is a moment of hesitancy in the Brit. He was gone more times than not for work; put into situations that could leave him going through bodily harm. You didn’t deserve that stress—didn’t deserve to sit at home with a swelling stomach just watching the door and wondering if you’d have to become a single mother. You had a child in your womb. His child. Both of yours’ child. 
A family that you both had made.
John swallows and says to you seriously, without an ounce of hesitation in his blood, “I’m telling Laswell to pull me out,” you blink up and listen, letting him continue as his press on your flesh gets even more prominent, nodding to you, “I’m not missing this—not putting you through that worry. Two years, then I’ll head back in. We have enough saved, I give you my word you’ll want for nothing.” 
Blue eyes flicker down, and a small mumble so tiny it nearly disappears hits your ears. You almost start sobbing again. “This is more important. You both are more important.” 
There were few moments in your life that you think you’ll remember when you are old, weathered and wrinkled, but this you tell yourself is one that you will carry to your grave. John and yours’ grave. 
What remains behind, you ask? Simple.
White bones entangled with an eternity of deathless worship, and the generations that will come to lay flowers on the headstone.
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jhuzen · 8 months
Note
do you have any thirst hcs for grandpapi neuvi? if you do pls share i’m so hungry 🤲
hydro dragonussy [m.reader]
hello hello, guess who’s back to writing again? this is a warmup because i struggled hard in continuing my kaveh request wip and a buncha scenarios for sick reader w genshin men and jing yuan all at once. on second thought… i think i really shouldn’t have written everything all at once. not to mention i’m trying out quotev to publish my yandere oc/m.reader stuff for fun. + yes that is the title. it’s either that or crybaby old man dragon thirsts. you pick.
𖦹 nsfw, neuvi is a virgin old man, underlying mentions of reader being an attorney (we all know i have a bias for them anyway, have you seen my workload series? lmao), switch male reader, switch neuvi, though we’re heavily leaning on bottom neuvi for this one, honorable mentions of cockwarming and thigh fucking, brief mention of double penetration (reader receiving), gentle and rough sex, implied dacryphilia (you), breeding, fontaine rains whether or not he’s sad, his tears are the rain and i will drink them like a hungry eremite in the sumeru desert.
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Let’s face it, Neuvillette has no time outside of his work as the Iudex of Fontaine, he’s constantly buried underneath those paperworks, and on top of that, when he’s not tackling mountains of cases, he’s out in the opera, presiding trial after trial when the Oratrice can already do the same thing for him.
So when you appeared in his life all of a sudden, he was new to all sorts of things. In his long life as a dragon, he has had little experience in what you can offer to him. He’s awkward for the first few moments of your relationship.
It’s the same to sex — you’d have to take initiative in every single little thing, show him the ropes like the good commander you are, and he obeys with no complaints. He sees that you enjoy it, and if you’re good at it and you’re willing to teach him, he is an obedient patient.
Old man’s heads are very clumsy at first, teeth scraping against your length while he slowly but surely bobbed his head. He’s slow, but he treats your little guy with so much care. Looking up at you with tears pricking at the ends of his eyes as he tried to please you as best as he could. Obligatory weather report — it’s a light drizzle in Fontaine.
But when you give him head, Neuvillette squirms, it doesn’t matter where he is, he could not keep himself still. It’s always obvious that even you cannot bring yourself to blow him semi-public in his office, just because you’re afraid a poor innocent little Melusine would come inside and see their beloved leader squirming around traumatize them. It would also be bad for his image if you guys get caught, so… sexy times are inside the comfort of his possibly huge home as much as possible.
Sex with him is slow and intimate, very romantic. What did you expect? He’s from Fontaine and they apparently love to romanticize things. Whether or not who’s on top when you guys are doing it, they are a lot more languid in style, like a moment of relaxation between the two of you.
A switch, though preferably a bottom. Yes, that’s right, old man Neuvillette likes to be serviced. He likes it when you’re the one filling him up so good. It’s hot and heavy, just the way he likes it.
He’s a tired man, so he’s definitely a pillow prince— no, a pillow king. He lays there and takes it like a good boy, only gazing at you with those soft eyes, hazy with love and lust while you continued to push into him. He takes your hand in his every time you enter him and he always squeezes your hand tight the deeper you go in.
Call him romantic and a basic man, but he lives for missionary. He wants to see you while he feels you stuff him full of your cock. He only writhes in the beginning while he tries to adjust around you, squeezing you tight inside him while his breath stutters, trying to take you in all at once.
If he’s the one in charge, it’s all the same, he’s gentle with his actions, though, honestly, he’d rather have you ride him instead. He likes to see you in all your glory, with you rolling your hips in such a needy manner while he kept you grounded, holding onto you as he caressed your thighs. It’s perfect for him.
Oh yeah, and this goes without saying — he’s a dragon, so he has two cocks. Fitting him in is a sport on its own, but you graduated with a major in fucking dragons, so you’re good. He’s a bit thicker on the side too, so each time you take him in, you could feel every inch of him, and every throb of his cocks is a heaven sent feeling that courses through your insides.
Please be gentle with him, he is an old tired man who hasn’t had a break. He is so vanilla that it’s boring but his cries are worth it.
He’s a very quiet man too, his moans are shy and light, a gasp here and there and a tiny whimper with every increment of speed adding into your thrusts.
Neuvillette is definitely the type to squirm and get away from you at first, but you just need to keep him still and hold him down by his thighs before you plow into him. He likes it though when you do it, it reassures him that you want to do this with him and that you’re not letting him go no matter what happens.
Another weather report: a good light rain. Not too heavy.
Now that all the sweet stuff is out of the way, rough sex is not as often as the usual vanilla one, but it’s not completely an uninvited guest between you two.
If you fucked him rough and hard, Neuvillette will cry and break. His poor pristine and unmarked body, filled to the brim with your greedy bite marks and hickeys, glowing red and bruising dark purple that leaves him embarrassed when they’re still around if you somehow managed to weasel in a rough session in the morning before he goes to work and you will be reprimanded for it once he’s home, no exceptions.
“No more of these obvious markings,” he’d say with a stern tone, only to end up face down on the pillow with his ass up while you found a loophole and devoured his entire back instead.
He hates that he can’t see you when you go rough on him, because it’s normally him ending up with his face buried into his pillow while he laid on his stomach, his hips being held up by you while you ruthlessly pounded into him without even an ounce of mercy.
He hates it, but at the same time, it does help with keeping his noise down because when you’re doing him so roughly, Neuvillette wails, he cries hard, with those pretty tears of his not letting up. He’d scream to the high heavens and were it not for the fact that your hand was forcing his head down into his soft pillow, the entirety of Fontaine would hear it.
Again, Neuvillette is a tired old man, so something so rough definitely leaves him drained, you’d constantly have to hold him up halfway through your little session.
Fucking him while he’s on his side and his one leg hooked over your shoulder is a great compromise, with how you can both still see each other Neuvillette can immediately turn his head to hide away into his pillow when he realizes he’s being a little too loud on his own good.
He’s definitely the kind to force himself to be quiet. If you fuck him without anything for him to bite into to hide his loud noises, he will cry and be embarrassed through out, barely even managing to cover his own mouth with his hand without an ounce of struggle while his body jerked up and down, following through every harsh punctuated thrust that you made into him. Weather report: Fontaine has a storm.
Neuvillette cries his heart out every time you go rough, full on sobbing and it is such a turn on. The way he makes garbled noises while he would protest into your roughness, hand gently pushing into yours while he asks for you to be gentler and go a little slower, only to cling helplessly into his pillow when his pleas fell into deaf ears.
His tears are just… divine. He cries so prettily and he does it with unwitting grace and class — somehow, he’s just innately beautiful in every thing that he does. There is no such thing as an unsightly sobbing to this man.
Neuvillette makes this soft noise in between a whimper and a gasp every time you hit his prostate spot on and he just shudders in delight, his breath shaky until he can barely think straight.
Gentle or rough, he’s definitely into breeding. Neuvillette has a breeding kink and anyone who thinks otherwise will sink deeper than Khaenri’ah. Stuff him full of your cum and he’s a happy and satisfied man.
It’s not just the feeling of your hot seed pumping him full that pleases him, but being around the Melusines, treating them like his children despite them being just his subordinates has definitely gotten this old man all too paternal. He likes the premise of being able to build a family with you, and he will nurture your children with all his being.
Thigh fucking? Thigh fucking. Though it’s rare, only when he’s really tired but still aches to please you, and even you’re too lazy to move a lot.
Bother him when he takes work at home by making him cockwarm you. He could not concentrate at all — squirming and squeezing around your cock so deliciously while you teased him about getting his work done.
Has definitely tried wall sex with you, with his back against the wall while you held him up. May or may not have happened at the opera after a heated trial when he ruled against your client and you were pissed your streak of wins on that week crumbled into dust. It’s neither your fault but the client’s, but you’re a sore loser and Neuvillette is a stoic judge.
Call him daddy while you fuck into him and he will break, he’ll go slack, his mind numbed when a rush of dopamine just infiltrated his brain every time you’d call him that.
And after all that, aftercare is a must. Treat your dragon well. He did so much for you, and you broke his old man back after fucking him into oblivion. Clean him nice and well, kiss his tears away, and wrap him tightly in a blanket while you hold him.
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samkerrworshipper · 7 months
Text
Medication - Leah Williamson
fluff, little bit of angst, anxiety attacks, mentions of depression, 3500 words
balled my eyes out to black fridays by tom odell and then this was birthed.
blurb:
your a rookie on the lionesses squad, who suffers from anxiety and when you stop taking your meds after learning you are starting a game in the euros everything goes downhill for you.
i am so sorry for how vague this was lol i’m writing this and publishing at 2:30 in the morning
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I’d never liked gamedays. Everything felt different, all the feelings and emotions heightened. The pressure was insurmountable, especially when you are playing for your nation. Especially when you are one of the youngest, one of the least experienced, one of the youngsters. Today, we were playing Norway, my first game as a Lioness where I was a part of the starting line-up. It was a must win game, the stakes were high for us to win these Euro’s, especially considering it was a home euro’s for us. If we wanted to progress to the finals we couldn’t lose, the pressure was on.
I’d understood that as soon as I’d been notified that I was to start the match, understood that everything changed as soon as you were actually on the pitch. Our one point win over Austria had been great, but we were all hungrier for more, hungrier for the points that we needed to get us ahead in the competition. Sarina knew that there was an expectation for us to win, we all knew that.
I’d been feeling it all week, feeling the anxiety thrumming through my veins as we practised and went about our normal routine for the week. Something was different, it was my first year as a senior Lioness and I’d never been named as a starter. That was a big deal, a really big deal. That was all I could think about. What if I fucked it up? What if I messed up and they told me that I wasn’t going to be welcome back. What if Sarina saw me on the pitch and thought that I was worthless, useless, bad. That was all I could think about as we were standing in the tunnel getting ready to walk out. I was sandwiched in between Lucy and Beth. My hands shaking in my pockets and my breath quickening subconsciously. If I wasn’t aware of it then apparently the defender behind me was, because just as we were about to walk out I felt one of her hands fall to my shoulder, pulling me back into her just enough for her to be able to press her mouth to my ear and whisper,
“You’ve got this amore, you’re going to do perfectly fine,” Lucy’s voice was so strong, but so comforting. She was like an older sister to me, and had been since my first day at training camp. She had been the first person to believe in me besides my Arsenal teammates, the first person to really advocate for my future. She was also the first person on the Lionesses team besides Leah to learn about my struggles with anxiety, adhd and depression. She’d been a light in my life, texted me to make sure I was keeping up with my medication, or just to check in.
In the wake of the Euro’s I’d stopped taking my anxiety meds. I took Lorazepam, which worked really well for me, but it also tended to make me really drowsy and fatigued. Things that are not ideal when you are training and playing almost everyday for your country. It had positive effects, I definitely found it a lot easier to train and play my hardest, but there were a lot of negatives. Like how I was feeling right now. Like my heart was going to beat out of my chest, my hands getting clammy with sweat and shaking non stop like I’d just shot up on steroids. The sound of the crowd at Brighton didn’t help either as we walked out onto the pitch. I struggled to get through the national anthem and the pre game pleasantries, my chest and body hurting from the anxiety that was building up inside of my body.
I was grateful but also not to step out on the pitch properly. It felt like I was on a different planet, my senses overly heightened and my brain short circuiting almost everything.
I could feel Leah’s gaze on me as we all lined up to start the game, she worried about me, a lot. I was also her Arsenal teammate and she’d taken me under her wing beyond football, we’d become very close in our time spent together. I ignored her sidewards glances though, tasking myself with showing our nation that I deserved to be where I was and some jitters weren’t going to affect that.
My first half was rocky, normally with the mixture of adrenaline and endorphins my anxiety subsided when I started playing but this time I must have been too far gone, too much pent up anxiety built up for it to just fade away. It reflected in how I was playing, but our forwards had been flawless, slotting in six goals which put us in a lead that was pretty much untouchable. Clambering into the rooms at halftime was a charade. Everyone besides myself seemed ecstatic and hyped about our lead, I was on the inside but I was also wrapped up in my own bubble. I took a seat on the floor of the change rooms, taking in Serena’s speech about keeping our heads and just continuing what we were doing. I allowed Lucy to pass me a drink bottle, obliging her request for me to hydrate myself. She could tell something was up, she’d been hovering around me on the pitch, covering me. When one of the Norwegian girls had taken my feet out from under me she had immediately been at my side, pulling me up and then yelling at the umpire about how it had clearly been a foul if not a yellow. Leah had to pull her away just to ensure Lucy wouldn’t get carded herself, all whilst I stood there absolutely helpless as result of the amount of effort I was having to put into not collapsing from the amount of pain in my chest.
Leah kept it pretty brief after Serena, sticking to what she’d said and putting an emphasis on a few things before we headed back out. She managed to snag a grip on my jersey though as I trailed with the girls at the back of the group.
“Are you okay?” There was a little bit of captain in it, but it was mostly gentle, her voice a little bit rugged from the amount of yelling she’d done on the field.
“I’m fine.” Her facial expression was enough to tell me she didn’t believe a word I was saying.
“I’m telling Serena to sub you off, you clearly don’t look well enough to be playing.”
“I told you I feel fine Cap, I can play out the rest of the 90, please let me play it out.”
Leah looked conflicted, conflicted with what to do and how to react to my plea. I wasn’t one who begged very often, I didn’t see the point in it.
“Fine but y/n, as soon as anything happens out there, you put yourself in danger or someone else in danger you are going off, understood?”
I didn’t have any other option but to nod at Leah.
“Yes, captain.”
My voice had held some sarcasm as I tore her hand from the bottom of my jersey and started jogging back up the tunnel to catch up with girls that I’d previously been chatting to.
The last ten minutes of the second half was when bad transitioned to really not good. My body began to catch up with my over exertion and every second on the field became a battle. It was a blessing that the ball wasn’t really travelling down my end, Less and Toony had both been substituted in and were having a field day in our forward half kicking it back and forth to run the clock down. The Norwegian girls were giving it their best but you could tell they knew it was over. As the minutes passed though and we went into extra time I could feel my body really starting to get heavier, you could blame it on the lack of hydration and the english heat that we were playing in but I knew it was my body betraying me. I’d been denying my body for too long and it was catching up with me. I didn’t even know how many minutes of extra time we had, my vision was slowly blurring, my steps becoming wobbly and the pain in my chest becoming overbearing.
I could hear my opponent, I think it was Maren, or was it Guro? Asking me if I felt alright. I didn’t really comprehend it though, I couldn’t hear anything properly, it felt like I was underwater, my ears ringing out and my vision blacking over as I fell face first into the turf. Maren managed to catch me before I fully face planted into the grass, helping my limp form down to the ground before starting to yell out for help. It was then of course that the whistles blew and the match ended. I could make out the sounds of the crowd going nuts, maybe even my teammates on the sidelines yelling in triumph. I couldn’t open my eyes though and I definitely couldn’t make out the voice of Maren on the ground beside me trying to ask me questions and attract the attention of a medic. It was all mellowed out as my body succumbed to a coma like state that I’d forced myself into.
Leah and Lucy were the first two from my own team to locate me, passed out on the ground with Maren trying to provide as much privacy for me as possible whilst also pressing her hand to my throat to make sure that there wasn’t anything seriously wrong. It was Maren, Guro had been subbed off at the 84’ minute mark. I remembered that because I’d silently been wishing at the time that Serena would do the same, but she’d made her final changes and taking me off apparently hadn't been one of them.
“Y/n, can you open your eyes for me? Or squeeze my hand?”
I could feel Leah’s own hand fall into mine and I squeezed it as best as I could, it was enough for me to tell her that I was conscious enough to make out what she was saying to me.
“Good y/n/n, the medics are about to be here, can you try and open your eyes and talk for me?”
I tried my hardest to crack my eyes open, when I did finally muster up the will to open one of them I was met with the brightness of the stadium lights. I groaned almost immediately, being forced to take in my surroundings. I was surrounded by our trainers, who were draping different towels over my body in an attempt to cool me down and cover me. My cleats had been removed from my feet and someone was soaking my socks in cold water, something that I was not pleased to be awakened by.
“Good sweetheart, stay focused on me yeah, eyes on me.”
My eyes snapped back up to Leah, who was crouched above my head, Serena and Lucy’s heads were beside her own, staring down at me.
“The medics are going to come look at you and you are going to let them, okay?”
I almost immediately shook my head at Leah but she kept her jaw clenched and her stern face up.
“I’m not asking y/n, you just passed out on the field, you need to be assessed.”
I shook my head again and Leah rolled her eyes at me.
“An-n-xiety.”
I could hardly make out my own words in the stadium full of noise and the words themselves made me realise how much I was struggling to regulate my own breaths.
Leah nodded knowingly, suddenly everything seemed to come into perspective for her.
“You stopped taking your medication, didn’t you?”
I gulped and nodded at her, trying to block out all of the distractions that were happening around me. She looked annoyed at me, I cowered a little bit with the glare that she was giving me. After the last time I went on a sabbatical from my medication I swore to Leah I would never do it again.
As the medics crouched down next to me I shut my eyes again, it all becoming too much for my head. I let the medics fuss over me, I blacked out somewhere in between them putting me on a stretcher and getting me off the pitch.
I reawakened with sweat dripping down my body, all of the oxygen depleting from my body and my chest aching like it never had before. I choked a little bit as I sat up from my spot, gasping for air to enter my lungs. It took me a few seconds to recognise where I was, sitting inside the makeshift medical room at Brighton. My head was pounding and my whole body was aching.
“Y/n, look at me, you're having an anxiety attack, deep breaths.”
“Wh-what.” The words came out in a gasp as I struggled to take in any air, looking at Leah for guidance.
“We’re at Brighton, we just played Norway, you had an anxiety episode on the pitch. You’re having an attack right now, I need you to take deep breaths, follow me, in and out.”
I watched Leah as she exaggerated some deep breaths, if it hadn't been for the circumstance I probably would have laughed at her.
As I slowly started to take in more air she tried a different tactic.
“Good y/n/n, your doing so well my good girl. Can you tell me five things you can see?”
It was deflection, something that Leah had picked up on from her therapist.
“Serena, you, the light, Lucy and a drink bottle.”
Leah nodded at me encouragingly, rubbing slowly up my back as she continued.
“Good, you’re doing so well, how about four things you can feel?”
“Your breath, the scratchy blanket, my wet socks and I don’t know.”
My words were still choken as I used up whatever oxygen I was taking in to get the words out.
“That’s okay, that’s good, you are doing so well for me angel, how about three things you can hear?”
I tried to focus fully on Leah, on her words, her rubbing my back, her breath against my neck.
“Serena tapping her shoe, the heart monitor and the music from the changeroom.”
It was faint but if you focused in enough you could just hear the sound of my teammates in the change rooms, getting up to god knows that with the absence of their captain and manager.
“Perfect, you are doing absolutely perfectly. How about two things you can smell?”
“Antiseptic and your perfume.”
“Good, last one, one thing you can taste.”
I could feel my breath and body evening itself out, it felt like I was a piece of linen that was slowly but surely being ironed out, all of the crinkles and creases leaving my body.
“I don’t know.”
“Last one y/n, I know you can do it.”
“Metal, the iron taste from blood.”
Leah nodded at me, plastering a kiss on my forehead. Her words and actions being enough to bring me back down to earth fully. I very slowly took in my surroundings properly, Serena, Lucy and Keira were all sitting at the end of my bed, watching as Leah did her thing. I was hooked up to a few different things, cords and wires poking out of my extremities. A saline drip, heart monitor and another machine that I wasn’t sure the purpose of.
“Hey my girl, you back here with us now?”
I pushed my head into Leah’s chest, trying to hide from the world that I was now a participating member of.
“No hiding, not here,”
I groaned as Leah pushed me out of her chest, annoyed by the loss of contact and the confrontation of having to be put in front of some of the people I respected most.
“You gave us a fright back there, I think you came close to killing Maren.”
I gulped nervously, hanging onto every word that left Serena’s mouth, just bobbing my head in agreement because what else was I supposed to do.
“M’ sorry, didn’t mean to, just wanted to prove that I deserved to be here.”
Serena’s face held a kind of understanding, like she’d seen girls before me who had been the same, willing to die to prove their worth to the dutchwoman who we all regarded so highly.
“You wouldn’t be here in the first place if you didn’t deserve to be. It���s one thing to push yourself but to the point where you black out on the field is another thing. If it ever happens again y/n y/l/n then I can swear to you now that you will be benched, am I understood.” I nodded meekly at Serena,
“Yes ma’am.”
She nodded at me, she’d gotten her point across.
“Leah tells me this happened as a result of you not taking your medication?”
I pushed my head back into Leah’s chest, grunting at her when she pushed me out of it. I couldn’t do much else but nod at Serena.
“I get side effects ma’am, it makes me drowsy and sleepy, I didn’t want it to affect my game.”
Serena was very quick to fire back at me,
“You take medication to ensure that you feel well, there is no shame in that. If you are having a problem with side effects then you are to bring it up with one of our doctors, not boycott your medication entirely. From now on I am going to be responsible for your medication, you will come to me everyday to take it so I can ensure that you are receiving the correct doses so something like this does not occur again, is that understood?”
I gulped and nodded at Serena. She smiled at me knowingly in return.
“You are an elite athlete y/n, it is imperative that you care for your body. Or something like this happens, something with such magnitude that it can’t be overlooked. Your health and wellbeing comes first, always.”
I nodded at Serena once again, allowing her to give me a hug before leaving the room to give us some privacy. As soon as the door closed behind her I shed a few tears, I hated confrontation, it was one of my biggest fears.
“She’s right y’know, this could have been a lot worse, what if you’d put yourself in a really dangerous position because you were in a bad headspace and ended up seriously injured, you can’t just stop taking your medication randomly y/n, it’s not safe.”
Leah’s voice was murmured against my forehead, her lips staying plastered to the oily and cold skin.
“No one else on the team relies on medication to function, I thought I would be fine, I feel so stupid always being the one having to rely on shit to get through the day.”
I could feel Leah rolling her eyes from above me.
“No one else on the team struggles with intense anxiety and depression like you do, we are all different, we all function differently. There is no shame in needing medication y/n/n, Lucy uses an asthma puffer, does that make her stupid?”
I looked over at Lucy, it was different.
“No but it’s different.”
“How?”
Leah’s answer was fired back at me and I struggled slightly to recover from her sudden reply,
“Lucy has a physical problem, mine’s just in my head.”
“What you went through today seemed pretty physical to me.”
I was stumped by that answer, looking across at Kiera and Lucy who nodded along with what Leah was saying.
“You struggle with your mental health, there is no shame in that. You rely on medication. So what? Good for you for listening to your body and acknowledging that you need that to help you make it through the day. Y/n, there is absolutely nothing wrong with using medication to help you. If I felt sick, with the flu, and I needed antibiotics or whatever, would you think that I was weak for using them?”
I shook my head at Leah almost immediately, the question was a no brainer for me,
“Exactly, because I’d be taking the medication needed to keep me well and functioning. All you are doing is the same thing y/n, keeping yourself alive and well.”
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thechekhov · 1 year
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thoughts on the huge OGL debacle around DnD at the moment?
mmmmmMMMMMM BOI
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I was going to be holding off on commenting until something was confirmed by WotC because I hoped to get more info but. I think we basically got what we need. 
For those who don’t know - the CONTEXT:
Earlier last month there was a leak that made the DnD community peek up out of their little holes like a bunch of meerkats hearing a stampede. Y’see, currently, Wizards of the Coast (a company owned by Hasbro, a corporate giant in board-games) is working on a new DnD version that is meant to replace 5e (5th edition of DnD, the most current one). They’re calling it One DnD, and it’s in play-test right now. But there’s a problem. Along with new stuff, they were apparently planning to revise the OGL - the Open Gaming License which had been a staple of the DnD Era since 2000.
The OGL 1.0 was essentially an open world ticket for third-party creators to use DnD game mechanics to build worlds, create monsters, and expand upon the creative base that was DnD. In 2008 they attempted to publish 4th edition DnD under a different, less open gaming license, which ended up severely hurting their overall standing with the community. When they published 5e, they returned to the OGL and DnD has gained traction with the public thanks to various gaming groups (such as Critical Role) rising to fame. Because of the OGL, many people have made adventures for 5e DnD, making monster manuals compatible with the game, and basically expanding on a huge, growing world. There have been kickstarters for new adventures, new compendiums, etc, which were an incredible creative sandbox for just about anyone who wanted to try their hand at creating.
And now it seems like they fucked it up. 
A leak made it clear that WotC is working on OGL 1.1 - which is basically a giant middle finger to everything the original was. They are now demanding royalties from anyone creating new content if they make over 50kᶜᵒʳʳᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ 750k a year from their creations - which in and of itself isn’t super unreasonable.... except for the fact that they can lower this number at any point. 
ALSO with the new OGL (1.1) WotC would OWN the rights to anything made using any of their content (including homebrew made by creators - yes, they would own settings/character just because those adventures use their system) indefinitely, demand they receive financial reports from anyone making 50k or more.
What’s more, they reserve the right to change their own license at any point, with only 30 days notice. (Which basically means that if at any point they decide to demand recompense from people making more than, say, 20k from their little homebrewed setting in 5e, they can do that with nary a month’s warning.) 
“...according to attorneys consulted for this article, the new language may indicate that Wizards of the Coast is rendering any future use of the original OGL void, and asserting that if anyone wants to continue to use Open Game Content of any kind, they will need to abide by the terms of the updated OGL, which is a far more restrictive agreement than the original OGL..." (source)
So as you can imagine, for the past few weeks, the entire DnD community and the ttrpg community at large have been gearing up for either a fight, a mass exodus, or both. It would not be the first time. 
And then, just recently, we had another comment, this time from inside. An email was sent out, which has been evidently confirmed by one of the recipients as true, describing what is happening inside of WotC. 
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[I'm an employee at WotC currently working on and with business leaders on the health of the product line. If you want I can provide proof of this.I'm sending this message because I fear for the health of a community I love, and I know what the leaders at WOTC are looking at:
They are briefly delaying rollout of OGL changes due to the backlash.
Their decision making is based entirely on the provable impact to their bottom line
Specifically they are looking at DDB subscriptions and cancellations as it is the quickest financial data they currently have.
They are still hoping the community forgets, moves on, and they can still push this through
I have decided to reach out because at my time in WotC I have never once heard management refer to customers in a positive manner, their communication gives me the impression they see customers as obstacles between them and their money, the DDB team was first told to prepare to support the new OGL changes and online portal when they got back from the holidays, and leadership doesn’t take any responsibility for the pain and stress they cause others. Leadership's first communication to the rank and file on the OGL was 30 minutes on 1/11/23, This was the first time they even tried to communicate their intentions about the OGL to employees, and even in this meeting they blamed the community for over-reacting.I will repeat, the main thing this leadership is looking at is DDB subscription cancellations.Hope your day goes well,PS will be copying and pasting this message to other community leaders]
(source)
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As for my comment in all of this? 
I won’t pretend to be a local expert in legal terminology. Others can probably parse the full leak far better, and I don’t think there is anything to be gained by running around in a panic and screaming...
However. 
The fact of the matter is, Hasbro/WotC are shooting themselves in the foot. I don’t believe they have the right to destroy the original license. Make a new one for OneDnD? Sure, knock yourself out. Try it, see how popular it’ll be. But destroying the community-driven 5e will do only that - destroy it. They will not be gaining any money from the fans which are already plenty used to supporting small-level creators first and large companies second. It’s a supremely counter-culture move which will eat them from the inside out. 
The only ones that I feel for are Critical Role - who originally played in Pathfinder and then switched to 5e and paired up with DnD Beyond.............and are now being screwed over because they’re likely locked in a contract with WotC and are contractually obligated to not speak out negatively against the changes. 
In my heart of hearts, I kinda hope that their tablets all mysteriously ‘break’ for the next few games and they go back to pen and paper instead of barking out DnD Beyond ads as they’re expected to do. But I don’t know if that’s something they can afford to risk. 
(.....though hell, I hope they try to afford it. They have a community that will stand behind them, and that community has MONEY. We won’t know until we know, though, and I know that there are legal repercussions that may go beyond a simple income slap on the wrist.)
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Personally, here’s my two cents: 
I think people should cast a vote with their money.
 Cancel your DnD Beyond subscription.
Don’t give any more money to Hasbro or Wizards. Keep playing whatever 5e games you want, but do it using third-party digital character sheets, OR just go old school and do pen and paper. Let me know if you need sources for it. 
Don’t buy the Players Handbook, leave DnD Beyond behind, don’t engage with One DnD. There are resources out there that let you play the game that also don’t require you giving money to corporations that are only here to fuck around and find out. You want an adventure module but don’t want to bow down to the dragon sitting on its hoard? Hit me up. I’ll give you some alternatives. 
Hell, I myself will be looking into Pathfinder 2e because I’ve heard good things, and if I need to switch any future games to a different system because Fountry VTT or Roll20 will stop offering the 5e presents, it’ll be a very good alternative. Paizo just came out with a statement that they will write their own version of the OGL which will keep the spirit of the open game alive, and Kobold Press is gearing up with their own stuff. 
I won’t be throwing out my own games, and I don’t feel there’s a need to stop playing 5e. I have a Curse of Strahd game to finish, and that game belongs to me and my group now. We don’t need the module - it needs us. 
... all that is simply to say - Wizards may soon be realizing that when you live on the Coast... pirates are never far. 
(edited thanks to corrections from @magpiesarefluffy )
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beachylupin · 7 months
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Werewolves of London || Remus Lupin x American!Fem!Reader
i've crawled out of writing slump hell to publish this. i really hope you all enjoy. feedback is always appreciated :-) let me know if you'd like to see more! <3 pt. 2 here word count: 3.6k warnings: talking about children being turned, mentions of a weapon, maybe a few swear words, i literally can't think of anything else
“You’re looking for the Leaky Cauldron in London,” the gruff-sounding man said over the phone. “Where are you calling from?”
“Heathrow?” You said, sounding confused. Where else would you be calling from? “Am I supposed to be somewhere else?”
“Right…” he muttered into the phone, shushing the person who was talking behind him. “You didn’t apparate to King’s Cross from there?”
“I didn’t know I was supposed to,” you mumbled as he said, “Could’ve just apparated instead of just taking a plane.”
“Have you apparated across an ocean?” You quipped, and he stopped grumbling. “Listen, I’ll figure it out, okay? Should I catch the tram to King’s Cross and call you when I get there? Or would you like me to apparate to somewhere I’ve never been?”
“Just take the bloody tram. We’ll send someone to meet you,” he grumbled, half-talking to the person behind him before hanging up abruptly.
You stood confused for a beat before hanging up the phone, quietly apologizing to the person behind you for taking so long.
Following the signs, you made it to the tram, boarding just before the doors closed.
You sat, keeping your luggage on your lap and you looked around at the other passengers. You were sure they could tell you weren’t from here.
You had on a long, leather duster jacket, hiding a dark green top and a pair of black bell bottoms. Tapping your heels to the song playing on your walkman, you ignored them, staring out the window at the underground darkness.
It wasn’t strange being called somewhere else. As someone who worked as an herbalist and potioneer who specialized in harvesting monkshood and brewing the difficult potion invented a few years prior, this was your job.
You were a board member of the Lycanthropy Regulation and Control Committee at the Magical Congress of the United States of America. It was your duty to try and prevent them from coming into towns and completely ravaging them by giving them wolfsbane when they were caught.
Wolfsbane, monkshood, or aconite was deadly. If it was harvested by someone inexperienced, they could simply die. For a lycanthrope, this was their saving grace. This miracle plant is what kept them human.
You were here to help develop a type of werewolf resolution, Project Blue, for what a leader of sorts, Mr. Moody, had called “The Order.” You thought of this group as the resistance to whatever race war had been started here.
This resolution would be developed in secret by both you and the maker of the wolfsbane potion, Damocles Belby, and it had to remain a secret. You had received a list of names that could know exactly what you were doing attached to a different letter from Mr. Dumbledore, and you assumed the rest were to be left in the dark.
Mr. Dumbledore also gave you a protector, who was called Moony. You were given specific instructions to board with this Mr. Moony and tell nobody only if they told you the code word: blue. To anyone unsuspecting, blue is just a color, but to someone who knew about the project, it meant the color of the solution: wolfsbane.
The war really must have been in full swing, and considering that you were an American half-blood, you were stepping into dangerous territory.
Sure, the United States had its fair share of war, but it was the mixing pot of the world. Pure blood, half blood, or no-maj born: a wizard was a wizard. You had always been treated just the same.
Werewolves, however? They were something else completely. The United States werewolf was one of the most dangerous creatures in the world. Having endless room to roam, they often lived outside of civilization, only coming in when they needed someone new to join their tribe.
This meant taking the children in quiet towns and turning them into werewolves so that by the time that they were fully grown and strong, they had no memories of being a human. 
These were the werewolves that you typically saw: mangy, feral, and insisting that they didn’t need wolfsbane. Nearly all of them had never taken it before, spending their whole werewolf existence in the wild, losing themselves completely, even when they weren’t in their wolf form.
It was devastating, not only for the families of these children, but for the werewolves that were doing their part to prevent anyone else from getting this terrible disease.
The werewolves of London and the surrounding area were almost always docile. Having taken wolfsbane from the moment they turned, they’d given up the desire to live a feral life.
However, there was a pack that was a danger to The Order. A pack that led the American lifestyle and stayed away unless they needed a new member. One led by Fenrir Greyback. A name that put shivers down anyone’s spine.
The tram screeched to a stop at King’s Cross, and you got off, immediately finding a phone. You dialed the number again.
“Who am I looking for?” You asked as a now different louder man coughed.
“Uhhh-” He cupped the receiver, his shouting muffled. “Aye! Who’d we send again?” Someone answered him and he loudly removed his hand. “A blonde girl! My age! Pretty.”
“How am I supposed to know your age?” You asked, looking around for a blonde girl. “I can’t see you.”
“Oh… Um, right,” he mumbled, covering the receiver again. “Hey! How would you describe Marlene?!” His shouting was muffled again, but this time, the phone was forcibly taken from him, a girlish huff breathing into the receiver.
“Right, you’re looking for a girl named Marlene McKinnon.” This girl sounded exasperated, shushing the laughter behind her. “She left here wearing leather trousers and a feather duster coat. ‘M sure she’s wearing a beret,” she said as you looked around King’s Cross.
You found who fit the bill immediately, dressed in exactly what the girl described.
“I found her! Thank you!” You breathed. “I’ll probably see you in a little bit.”
“Most likely!” She sounded like she was smiling. “Goodbye, and safe travels!”
Hanging up the phone, you picked your luggage up again, weaving through the small crowd to where the pretty blonde was standing.
She looked to be about in her late teens. Her makeup was sparkly and dark, and she had on about a million necklaces. The feather duster coat was gaudy. Nearly everything about her was gaudy.
“Marlene?” You asked as soon as you approached her. You introduced yourself, taking her ringed hand into your gloved one.
“You must be our gal!” She said, pulling you into a tight hug. “How was your flight?”
You shrugged. “Long.”
“Bloody hell, I can only imagine,” she said, her hand still in yours as she pulled you through the station. “Leaky is just a few blocks down!”
Marlene finally let go of your hand as soon as you were out of the busy station and in the rainy September air. “Have you been to London before?”
You shook your head. “I’ve never been over the ocean.”
“Ooh, first time?” She asked, her eyebrows raised. “We’ll have to show you a good one then.”
“Well, I’m here on business,” you said, desperately trying to keep up with her. “I’m not sure if I’ll have enough time to have fun.”
“How long are you here for?” She asked.
You shrugged, genuinely not knowing. “However long it takes for it to get developed.”
She furrowed her eyebrows. “What’s it?”
“I’m not supposed to disclose that information,” you said quietly, looking at your feet. At least to you.
Marlene glanced at you, her expression unreadable. “Well, I’m sure you’ll still have time.”
You narrowed your eyes slightly, but not wanting to argue, you continued on after her, your luggage clattering on behind you.
The Leaky Cauldron was a hole-in-the-wall type of pub. It was no wonder they were allowed to be in downtown London without worrying about no-majs coming in.
It was fairly busy, and Marlene quickly bee-lined to the back where there was a secluded table full of people. She mumbled something before sitting down, and they all turned to look at you as you excused yourself past a group of open-mouthed witches.
“Hi everyone,” you said, tucking your hair behind your ears once you set your luggage down. You scanned their surprisingly young faces. “Who was the first person I talked to on the phone? Um.. Mr. Alastor M-” Moony? Moody?
“Moody?” The raven-haired boy said. You nodded, eyebrows raised hopefully. “He left.”
“He left?” You asked, scoffing when everyone at the table nodded. “Why?”
“You took too long,” he replied as if it was an easy answer. “He’ll be ‘round tomorrow morning with everyone else.”
“I told you that you’d have time,” Marlene said, smiling tightly. “Things don’t get done around here unless you stick us to it. The rest of ‘em are old.”
“They’re busy,” another boy corrected her.
“Great,” you sighed. “Well, in that case-” You pinched off your leather gloves and stuck your hand out to the raven-haired boy, introducing yourself.
“Sirius Black,” he said, shaking your hand enthusiastically. “It’s nice to meet you!”
You nodded then looked at the bespeckled boy. “Tell me your name is something easy to remember,” you teased, smiling at the other boy.
“I’m James,” he said, and you sighed a breath of faux relief.
“I’ll remember that one,” you said, smiling at the rest of the group.
James then pointed to the blonde boy. “That’s Peter. Next to him is Lily, and this-”
You could tell immediately who he was. Mr. Dumbledore, who you still hadn’t met yet, had told you that there was indeed a werewolf in “The Order,” and up until this point, you couldn’t discern who. 
But he looked the part, down to the claw-like scars that riddled his face. He didn’t look dangerous. He looked the least dangerous of them all, dressed like an old man in a funky blue and brown sweater and dingy jeans. You couldn’t tell if he was a teen or fifty from the way he held himself, but considering his friends, you decided he was on the younger side of the spectrum.
“Remus,” he said, smiling slightly.
“Remus,” you repeated. You held his gaze for a beat longer before clearing your throat. “Well, it’s nice to meet all of you.” You glanced at your luggage then back at the table.
He glanced at your luggage as well, meeting your eyes with a look that said, “Leave it.” You furrowed your eyebrows.
Sirius pulled out a chair for you, patting it so you’d sit.
You obliged, looking around the table.
“I was hoping Moo-” Your eyebrows furrowed, trying to remember his name. Not Moony. “Um, Alastor?”
“Moody,” Sirius finished for you, exchanging a look with James.
“Yeah, Moody was going to be here to set me up with the right person, but I see that might not happen tonight,” you said, settling into your seat.
“Well, who exactly are you looking for?” James asked, looking around the group. “We might be able to set you up with…” He baited you, waiting for the name.
“I’m not supposed to disclose that information with you,” you mumbled, looking down. “It’s… It’s all very secretive, I know, but I got very detailed instructions about what I’m supposed to do and who I’m supposed to discuss and do it with.” You threw a pained smile at the group. “Your names aren’t on that list…” You glanced at Remus, then sent your gaze at the table. “Only a few can know right now.”
“So we can know nothing?” Sirius asked, eyebrows furrowed.
“I’m sure you’ll know eventually,” you suggested and sighed when he rolled his eyes. “I’m really sorry. I wish I could tell you.”
“What can we know?” Marlene asked, causing you to shrug.
“What do you want to know?” You countered, glancing at the small group.
Lily stared at you with narrowed eyes. “What do you do in America?”
“I work for the Magical Congress of the United States,” you answered simply. “I’m a herbalist and potioneer.”
The girls cocked their heads.
“How old are you?” Peter asked, resting his cheeks on his hands.
“Nineteen.”
“And you work for them at nineteen?” Peter acted shocked, his eyebrows furrowed.
“Yeah?”
Peter humphed, sitting back in his chair. “Carry on.”
“Have you always lived in America?” James asked, and you nodded.
“Where do you live in America?” Sirius asked.
“I kind of move from place to place depending upon the need for me,” you replied. A few of them furrowed their eyebrows. “Home base is New York City, though.”
“Is that why you’re here?” Marlene asked. “They needed you for something?”
You paused, shrugging slightly. “Yes?”
“For herbalism and potions,” Lily clarified, and you sighed, shrugging.
“I suppose,” you said. “I’m not going to tell you why I’m here.”
Lily pursed her lips. “I’ll figure it out. Just give me a moment.”
“I really don’t think you will,” you said, your eyebrows pinched together. “I haven’t given you anything to work off of.”
But Lily ignored you, her eyes closed as she thought. Marlene was next to her, trying to piece it together.
“Remus,” Sirius said, leaning to look at him. “You’re awfully quiet over there. Do you have any dying questions for the girl at the stand?”
Remus, who had been all but paying attention, hummed, looking at you.
“What’s your favorite color?” He asked.
Sirius and James let out a laugh.
“Really?” Peter asked, hands hitting the table. “We’re in a Sherlock type mystery and you ask what her favorite color is?”
“It’s an important question,” Remus replied, shrugging. He looked back at you, hopeful.
“Blue,” you said, and he narrowed his eyes.
“Blue?” He repeated, and you nodded. A knowing smile grew on Remus’ face. “Interesting.”
“How is that bloody interesting?” Sirius asked. “It’s blue. Everything is bloody blue.”
Remus simply shrugged, glancing at you again. “Just… fitting.”
You narrowed your eyes. He must’ve been the one that Mr. Dumbledore called Moony.
“What’s yours?” You asked, crossing your arms over your chest.
“Green,” he said, smiling. Sirius looked between the two of you.
You nodded, looking around. “Any other questions?”
Sirius narrowed his eyes. “What does he know?”
You glanced at Remus. “Probably as much as you.”
Remus confirmed your suspicion with a nod.
“Well, we’ll figure you out,” Lily said, leaning her head on Sirius’ arm. “Before you tell us.”
“Where are you staying?” James asked, glancing at Lily and Sirius. “I’m sure they wouldn’t mind if you stayed with us.”
“I actually have a room booked here,” you lied, pushing yourself up from the chair. “I should probably see if it’s ready for me.”
“Right,” James said, smiling slightly as he stood. “We should be off, shouldn’t we?” He asked, reaching for Lily’s hand. She took it, allowing herself to be pulled up, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
“We have an early morning,” Sirius said, glancing at Marlene. “You ready?”
Marlene nodded, getting up. “It was nice meeting you,” she said curtly.
“Yeah, it was nice meeting all of you,” you replied, watching Remus stand, nose crinkled as his knee popped.
“We’ll see you tomorrow,” Sirius said, looking at Lily. “We’ll have you figured out by then.”
You sighed. “Please don’t try to figure me out.”
“Too late,” Lily said sweetly, her hand in James’ as she started pulling him out of the pub.
James waved a goodbye to you and Marlene tailed the two of them out with Sirius following slightly behind. He turned around.
“You coming, Moony?” He asked, and Remus shook his head.
“I need a night cap,” he said, waving Sirius away. “Don’t worry about me.”
Sirius took this dismissal with a raised eyebrow, slightly shrugging before walking away.
“Moony?” You said quietly, crossing your arms over your chest. “That isn’t a very clever nickname.”
“Neither is Bane, but I didn’t say anything,” he quipped, reaching to take your luggage but you beat him to it.
“Bane?” You said, your nose crinkled. “That’s what your leader is calling me?”
“Better than Monk like he originally wanted,” he said, offering you his arm. You looked at it, sighing. “We’re going to have to apparate.”
“I know,” you grumbled, taking his arm. “I just hate doing it.”
“It’s not my favorite thing either,” he said, leading you outside the pub.
The wet sidewalk was clear, allowing Remus to quickly lead you into the alleyway, looking around again.
“Take a breath,” he said, and you did so, the breath leaving you as soon as there was a familiar tug on your navel.
The Eldritch Manor lay before you, half destroyed. It was supposed to be your place to sleep and work. A place to be safe. This didn’t look like a place where you could do any of those things.
Half of the manor was missing, rubble and stones lying in a place where a wing might’ve been. A house fire was possible, but it looked as though something hit the house.
“‘S not much,” Remus said quietly, allowing you to drop his arm. He immediately reached into his pocket, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.
He could tell you weren’t impressed by the way you straightened, your owlish eyes staring at the half of the house that was still standing.
It was also made of stone, but it was covered in dying ivy, a plant that would’ve flourished in the summer. A gnarled branch weaved its way up the front of the house.
“I wasn’t impressed either,” he said through a puff of his cigarette. “But it’s what we’ve got.”
He stamped out the other half of his cigarette and headed inside, leaving you to follow behind him.
You looked around Remus’ house. It wasn’t huge but it wasn’t tiny. Books and blankets lay on almost every surface, and there was a chill running through the house that you couldn’t quite place. You set your luggage down and toed off your shoes, watching as Remus knelt down in front of the fireplace, busying himself with stacking logs.
“This isn’t where I normally live,” he said, his knees cracking as he stood up from the fireplace. “This is temporary.” He took his wand out, lighting the fire wordlessly.
“Like a safe-house?” You asked, sitting down in a leathery chair, covering yourself with the throw blanket.
“Exactly like that,” he said, sitting down across from you. “Got here a few days ago to make it homey.”
You looked around the small living room. There was an endless supply of books around, as if that’s all he did in his spare time. You leaned, peeking at the kitchenette, where a stove and a fridge sat, looking as if they’d never been used.
“It’s nice,” you said quietly, looking into the fire.
A lull fell over the two of you. Maybe Remus figured that you were tired from your journey, or maybe he didn’t know what to say.
You didn’t have much to say either. This was the first time that you were meeting him, and you only knew a few things about him. First, his name was Remus, and he went by Moony. Second, his favorite color was actually most likely green considering all of the blankets in this house were either green or brown, and third, he was a werewolf who hated being a werewolf.
You didn’t have to ask him to know that. The way he tried to act normal was a telltale sign.
Remus cleared his throat, causing you to turn your attention to him. “So Moody said what you’re working on is… dangerous? And that you needed my help?”
“Sort of,” you sighed, and he continued staring, urging you to go on. “You haven’t been debriefed yet, have you?” you asked, sitting up straighter. He shook his head causing you to sigh again.
“You need to talk with me?” Remus asked.
“I’m actually here to consult with Damocles Belby, the inventor of-”
“Wolfsbane, yeah,” he interjected. 
“Alastor was supposed to set that up tonight, but he left, as you know,” You said, your tone clipped. “Him and I… We’re trying to fashion a type of… explosive to use in case of-”
“A werewolf?” Remus asked, and you reluctantly nodded.
“A feral werewolf,” you corrected him, your mouth tight.
“Ah,” Remus tutted. “So you’re saying someone whose a monster-”
“That’s not at all what I’m saying,” you said quietly as his gaze dropped from yours. “I’m not saying they’re monsters. Werewolves aren’t monsters, but I don’t think you understand the real problem-“
“Moony is… I am the problem,” he quipped, getting up. “I think I understand it quite well. Now, if you’re thinking you’re going to use a bomb on me-”
“I never said it was going to be you-”
“-you’re daft, alright?” He finished over you, pulling the sleeves of his sweater down as he strode across the room.
You scrambled after him. “You’re not part of the problem, Remus!” You called, following him down the hall. “You do your part to prevent the spread! I can tell!”
He snorted, looking at you over his shoulder. “If that’s your way of telling me that you think I’m a virgin, you’re dead wrong.”
Your eyebrows instantly furrowed, taken aback. “Lycanthropy isn’t spread that way,” you muttered more to yourself than to him. You huffed, catching his hand as he rounded the kitchen doorway. He stopped, glaring at you. “You’re not understanding me. You haven’t turned anyone. You’re not biting anyone on full moons, right?”
“Right.”
“Okay, good,” you huffed, letting him pull his hand away from yours. “The explosive is for the ones who try their hardest to turn as many innocents as possible. The ones who flock into defenseless villages and towns to kill and turn anyone they see.” You swallowed, your tone quiet, “The ones who turn children.”
Remus’ face turned from sullen to serious as he blinked, eyebrows furrowing. “Why do you need my help?”
“I think you might know where they’re hiding.”
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victoriansecret · 10 months
Text
Servants and Upward Mobility
This is focused on paid servants in England in the mid-late 18th century. One thing I find fascinating about the structure of domestic service roles was the existence of what essentially we might call a career ladder today. It was not uncommon for a servant to start their career near the bottom of the hierarchy as, say, a boot boy who cleans the shoes and boots of the household, or the scullery maid who does all the dirty kitchen work like scrubbing iron cooking vessels or plucking chickens, but progressively move up the list to better positions.
Part of why this was the case was that it was typical in England to hire servants for one year terms at a time. Often they'd be hired at festivals on the quarter days of the year, which as part of the festivities would often include what today we'd call a job fair. For some reason, Michaelmas (September 29) seems to be the most common as far as I can tell. I had never really thought about why that might be until I started planning this post, and I now wonder if it might have something to do with that being right around when harvest time usually comes in England. I could easily imagine people, especially young people, being on the cusp of another labourious harvest and thinking that maybe they could find another job instead. Related tangent: There are a number of remarks in the period that servants from the northern parts of England were considered to be much more respectful than servants from more populated, urban areas. Those communities were (at least considered to be) a lot stricter about remembering one's place and respecting your social 'betters', and their behaviour as servants was believed to reflect that. Some people would actively have their agents look to hire people from those rural areas, and apparently it was easy to attract potential employees: there are a number of remarks about how when a fancy carriage would drive through a small town, with the fancily-liveried footmen riding on the back, it would bring young people to stare in awe and want to be part of that. Which as someone whose interest in domestic service started in part because of my obsession with livery, I can understand. Anyway, back to the main point: because they often served one-year terms, there was an annual chance for both parties - the servant and the served - to review and determine how to move forward. A servant who was favoured might negotiate for a new position in the household, at least one step higher on the ladder (if not more), and they had leverage because they could leave the field entirely or possibly go off to a new household and find a higher position there. There was also a practice of asking for your master or mistress to provide a "character", essentially what we would today call a reference: a letter to show potential employers detailing their behaviour and skill in their role. Certainly there were times that some employers refused to give a good character, and sometimes that was explicitly because they wanted to keep the servant because they were a valuable asset to their household, but it was considered part of the obligation of the master class to be honest in these.
And it is not at all uncommon to find people who have served many different people/households throughout their career. The most I have seen is 28, although that's slightly misleading: that was a man who decided he wanted to travel, so hired himself to gentleman going on journeys for the duration of the trips, many of which were only a couple months. (The book he published, which he wrote about his travels and the "exotic" places and people he encountered, is interesting, and for my purposes super helpful because he turned out to be a narcissist and wrote a lot about himself, including his career as a servant. It's the only quasi-memoir of a paid servant from this time I am aware of. I might write a post about it/him sometime. I digress.) [continued in next post]
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femdomlieeh · 10 months
Text
Pink Blush (m)
First time Sub!Haechan ✧ Secretly Dom!Reader
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WC—1.8 k
THEMES—new relationship ✧ nsfw fluff (?) ✧ borderline smut
WARNING—punishment ✧ teasing (m!g) ✧ masturbation (m) ✧ use of handcuffs & strap on ✧ praise ✧ light degradation ✧ pet names "mommy", "channie", "bad boy"✧ mentions of gender stereotypes (ew), safe words & (future) pegging
NOW PLAYING—Tattoo ✧ Loreen
[A/N.] old xiumin (exo) version
When this post gets 100 votes I’ll publish a stray kids group reaction chapter👍
M.LISTS—nct 127 ✧ dream ✧ latest updates ✧ wp version
All rights reserved © femdomlieeh
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"Come on~! Show me~!" Haechan whined in your ear for the umpteenth time today.
Like all the previous times, you answered no.
Yesterday your boyfriend had found out that you had a mommy kink and liked being dominant in the bed (You had left a wattpad tab open on our shared laptop because you were apparently too tired to click on the cross), and, although that should've been something positive, you didn't want him to know.
On a daily basis, he already got critique for being younger (looking younger) than his partner, and being too 'feminine' and 'cutesy' – so, to want him to submit to you and make him match other people's perception of him was selfish and thus something you refused to do.
The theory of genders having specific power roles was something you'd always been opposed to, as you do not believe a gender determines a level of power. Truthfully, you couldn't care less if your boyfriend wanted to break gender stereotypes or not — damn, he could wear 'girly' clothes and/or put make up on if he wanted to — but you did care about what he thought of himself.
He didn't like it when people commented on how much younger he looked than he was. He didn't like it when people described him as feminine instead of masculine. He didn't like it when people [excluding you and some of his friends] called him cute. He didn't think that having any of those characteristics was wrong; he just didn't want people to call him those things.
"Please?" He attempted to lure you in with his gleaming puppy eyes – which usually worked – but that method didn't work this time around, because the great amount of vexation he had brought to you today had made you fully resistant to his cuteness.
"No, I don't want to hurt you," you answered with a blank face, trying your best to find a seemingly interesting movie on Netflix, that you hadn't already seen, so your boyfriend could give up his dumb quest. It was a little confusing why he wanted to try these types of thing with you, knowing how he felt about being belittled by others.
"I thought you said that we should always be honest with each other and always be ourselves," he argued, making a valid point since you had said those words from the start of your relationship.
"But I also said I never wanted us to hurt each other," you retorted in defense, feeling more and more irritated by the second.
Leaning and sinking down a little bit on the sofa, Haechan wanted to be more comfortable as he knew this conversation would be long. Chewing on the strings of his pink hoodie, he looked at and studied you; frown, annoyed sighs, hard grip on the remote, darker lips from biting on them – everything pointed at you being mad, and thus rather sensitive.
Then a bulb lit above his head.
"But what if I like it when you hurt me?"
You turned your head to his side. There it was. Exactly what he wanted to see. An expression on your face that told him that if he continued this route, he would get fucked. Whether it was literally or metaphorically, he wanted to find out.
"I'm leaving," you announced and stood up as quickly as the short sentence ended. You had to leave, because Haechan was pushing your buttons and you knew that if you stayed for longer you could end up doing what you had been trying to avoid since he had found out about the femdom part of you.
His face changed from calm puppy to clingy puppy with separation anxiety, scared of its owner leaving. This was not the reaction he had tried to get from you. He stood up and followed your fast steps to the bedroom. As soon as he saw you throw one of your biggest bags onto the floor, followed up by some clothing pieces, he felt his blood freeze. Were you leaving as in leaving the relationship?
"Why are you packing?" he asked, scared of your answer.
"I'm going to Irene's. I can't stay with you when you're making me crazy like this." What you said was true; you were sure he'd crack your patience and make you go full sadist on him if you stayed in the same room as him for another minute – or even worse: another hour or whole night.
He felt relieved that you weren't breaking up with him over a silly argument, but he still didn't want you to stay over at your friend's when you both knew that it would be smarter to solve the tension instead.
"Stay with me," he pleaded lowly, sensing he didn't have many other options than pleading and hoping it'd be persuasive enough for you to stay with him.
"We need a night without each to calm down and have an adult discussion, alright?" you tried to explain, grabbing your now-fully-packed bag, and heading to the door to continue your journey to your awesome best friend.
When Haechan didn't talk back, you turned away from the doorway and to the bed to see why he was being quiet and not protesting some more like he usually would. He was looking you in the eyes as he pulled the hoodie off his torso and threw it your way. You caught it in your hand. Proceeding, he pulled down his pants, making sure he did it slowly enough to send you signals that he wasn't planning on putting on his PJs.
As he stood in only his boxers in front of you, a new bulb lit up above his head – and this one was even brighter than the last one – maybe he did have more options than to plead and strip.
With a smirk he sat down on the foot of the bed, maintaining eye contact, and pulled down his boxers to reveal his hard cock. You were speechless when he had stripped down to almost full nudity, but what shocked you the most was that just speaking to him disrespectfully had turned him on.
The moment he started touching his cock and moaning like a bitch, you realized that he had purposely been naughty so you could punish him. He had whined in you ear all day, stripped and masturbated when you wanted to leave because he wanted this; he wanted to be punished.
So, you decided to do it.
You dropped the bag and went to your wardrobe, taking out a box you'd kept secret from Haechan. He looked your way curiously, analyzing your reaction while still stroking his cock rudely. Damn, he hoped you were doing something femdom related.
"Safeword?" you asked, examining the nostalgic box of memory-making apparatuses, trying to decide which ones you wanted to use to make memories tonight.
"Sun," he answered, smiling at the victory; he was going to get fucked literally.
"I hope you understand that I'm going to have to punish you for being such a naughty boy."
"Yes, Mommy," he said oh so naturally.
You looked back at him after he said the last word, watching him lay down on the bed, boxers in a random corner of the room. He seemed experienced or like he'd had a fantasy about calling you that word for a while, no stutter, and thankfully that made it easier for you decide on which toys to use on him.
"Naughty boys don't deserve to touch Mommy," you turned to him with a pair of pink, fluffy handcuffs. He blushed a little, not expecting the object you chose to punish him with to be so adorable. Did he seriously think that was all you were going to use as punishment when he'd riled you up like this?
How cute.
Walking slowly to him, you threw the cuffs onto the bed beside his legs and startled him a bit at the suddenness of the action. He had teased you, and you wanted to make sure he'd feel teased as well – and what better way to do that than to use one of his biggest weaknesses against him? Smirking, you pulled off your shirt, leaving your upper body in only a bra – a pink one. He had always liked that color – though he denied it since it wasn't manly to like pink.
You climbed on top of his body and took the cuffs in your hands again, getting ready to restrain him. He was breathing heavily, getting aroused by your body above his, and especially by your boobs that were clad in such a lovely color. Although he liked the bra, he would've loved to see your boobs without anything covering them.
"Hold your arms up for me, Channie," you ordered, to which he listened to instantly. He held them up against the bed frame, assuming you were going to cuff him to it. But he was wrong. You didn't want him to predict his punishment; you wanted everything to be a surprise that not even his fantasy could come close to.
Instead of cuffing his wrists to the frame of the bed, you cuffed them to nothing. Yes, nothing. It may sound boring to restrain your partner to nothing, but it was the opposite; restraining him to air meant that he still could choose to disobey you further by bringing his arms down. "You're going to keep your arms here, and if you at any point put them down and touch me it'll add to your punishment, understood?"
"Yes, Mommy."
"Oh, don't act like a good boy all of a sudden. You're getting punished for a reason, Haechannie," you scoffed lightly, feeling soft from the sweetness that seemed to ooze naturally whether he tried to or not.
"But I am a good boy," he pouted, adding to the cuteness you adored so much.
"Only if you can manage this punishment, but until then you're a bad boy," you explained and turned back to the box to grab the last part of the punishment. He continued pouting, until he saw the object you took out: a strap on. After removing your pants, you put the fake dick on and adjusted it to your hips.
The strap wasn't bigger than the average dick as you didn't know how used he was to having dildos shoved up his ass – and even though you wanted to hurt him, you were still cautious over how harsh you were with him. He was your squishy Haechannie after all.
"You ready, Channie?" you asked as you crawled back to him, searching his face for any uncertainty. His big eyes and toothy smile hinted at him anticipating what you were about to do, but you still wanted a verbal answer as you wanted to make sure he was OK with being pegged.
He nodded quickly, "Yes, Mommy, I'm always ready for you."
✧ ੈ ✧ ‧₊˚ * ੈ ✧‧₊˚** ੈ ✧ ‧₊˚ * ੈ ✧‧₊˚** ✧ ੈ ✧
❝ Violins playin' and the angels cryin'
When the stars align, then I'll be there
No, I don't care about them all
'Cause all I want is to be loved
And all I care about is you
You're stuck on me like a tattoo
No, I don't care about the pain
I'll walk through fire and through rain
Just to get closer to you
You're stuck on me like a tattoo ❞
—lorine zineb noka talhaoui; 2023
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micksslut · 1 year
Text
all i want for christmas is you
charles leclerc x fem driver reader
summary: charles thinks he's good at hiding he's your secret santa.
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word count: 1.9k
warnings/mood: just fluff, reader is a driver, relationship established between charles and reader, charles being the best bf. also, I'm not really sure if secret santa works like this, so I hope it's well put, but if it's wrong, correct me without problem!
if you read my previous one shot, you know that english is not my first language, so this is a google translator shit (a bit modified based on my knowledge ), but that's a real warning, so please don't hesitate to tell me if there are mistakes of any kind in the one shot 😭 (i think that's all, but tell me if I forgot something pls!)
notes: hI. this was supposed to be published before christmas, but i had no inspiration at all and only came this. I don't consider it to be my best writing, but I hope you enjoy it!
i hope you like it, please don't be a ghost reader!!!
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Finally all the drivers knew who they should give a gift to for the christmas swap.
You were Sebastian's Secret Santa, and honestly you had a problem because you hadn't been with the German long enough to know what to get him, but if there was something you couldn't stand: they were the bad gifts (the ones used to be given by Formula 1 drivers).
The first thing you did was tell your boyfriend, Charles, about who you got at the Christmas swap, knowing he wouldn't say anything and hoping he would tell you too.
But that didn't happen, instead you got a very nervous Charles who refused to tell you who he should give a gift to.
But your boyfriend was terrible at lying to you and you were very smart, so when you asked Carlos if he knew anything and he refused to tell you, you got closer to the truth. But even so, you weren't completely sure, so you decided to go for your last option.
"Char, would you like to come with me to buy the gift for Secret Santa? Lando canceled and I don't want to go alone" Charles was sitting in the cream-colored chair in the hotel room they shared, so you sat on his lap and he put down his phone to pay attention to you.
"Sure amour, just let me put my coat on" he gave you a chaste kiss on your lips and stood up, leaving you carefully on the couch.
You smiled, and immediately texted your best friend Lando, confirming that your plan was off to a good start.
So there you were, in a mall, thankful that your relationship with Charles was no longer a secret and the media didn't blow up seeing you and your boyfriend holding hands.
"Why don't we also buy the gift that you will give?" you asked when they had entered an eco-friendly store in search of what he thought was only the gift for Seb.
"I still don't know what to give as a gift, amour" Charles rambled nervously "Look, a bamboo toothbrush" he smiled showing it. You narrowed your eyes.
"Why don't you want to tell me who got you at the christmas swap?" you approached him.
"It's secret mon amour" he justified himself.
"Yeah, but I told you"
Charles was going to answer, but a female voice behind you interrupted you two.
"Excuse me, do you think I could get an autograph?" the girl asked shyly and you sighed discreetly, but both smiled.
Charles knew he had just been saved, so he was the first to nod.
"Sure! Where?"
She took off her Pirelli cap and held it out along with a permanent marker towards the two of you, apparently it was already prepared, so you deduced that the fans already knew where you and Charles were.
"Thank you! Good luck on the weekend!" you and your boyfriend thanked and the girl left.
"We'd better hurry, they won't be long in coming anymore" the monegasque murmured and you nodded, giving up on your boyfriend.
In the end, you ended up buying more things for you and Charles than for Seb, but you had found the perfect present for him, so you left the mall happy.
Soon, the day of the Secret Santa arrived, and most of the drivers were opening their presents.
You were hiding watching Seb open his present, and you almost ruined everything by laughing when Seb opened the bag and saw a pair of scissors along with the note you had left.
I'm sure you have more hair than me now, so in case you don't want to go to a hairdresser, here is a simple device to cut your own hair!
Sebastian let out a loud laugh and looked at the camera.
"I don't think that's going to happen"
Then he took the paper that talked about the Maple Tree that was your true gift, one that would be planted according to the needs of Switzerland so as not to alter the ecosystem of the region.
Sebastian had guessed who the gift came from and you soon came out of hiding with a smile on your face when Seb saw you.
He came up to you to hug you and thank you.
"I know, I'm the best at giving gifts" the driver laughed "But already cut your hair, Rapunzel"
They parted from the hug laughing and he shook his head.
"You're just envious that I have better hair than you" you opened your mouth falsely offended.
"Ok, I'm going" you turned smugly and started walking.
"Sorry! You know it's true!"
You laughed softly, shaking your head and you arrived where the Formula 1 social media team was waiting for you.
You couldn't help but get excited, if Charles really was your Secret Santa, what would his gift be?
"Ok, the present looks pretty" you commented nervously, looking at the box wrapped in decorative paper. You already knew who the gift was from (or at least you suspected), but you had no idea what it could be, you hadn't seen Charles buying anything, so you really didn't know what I could have given you; although he already knew everything you liked after four long years by his side.
You brought the box to your ear and moved it slightly trying to figure out what it was, but you only heard some things moving.
You opened the box, and the first thing you could see was a photo frame decorated by hand with Formula 1 stickers, your team, the Friends series, and of course, Taylor Swift. To be honest, it looked like something a five-year-old had made, but that's how you knew it was Charles's, and you couldn't help but almost die of cuteness.
You showed it to the camera with a huge smile on your face.
"Well, clearly I will put a photo here with the person who gave it to me. I wonder who it will be" you muttered the last with a smirk.
You gave the frame to your physical therapist to hold while you took out the other presents. Because yes, they were several presents.
"Ok... These are... Oh my god, these are Taylor Swift's The Eras Tour tickets!" you let out a squeal of excitement "Guys you know how much I love Taylor, this is the best present ever" you said ecstatically, showing the tickets and making a mental note to remind them to black out everything on the tickets except for the name of the tour.
"Well, from the frame with the things I like on it, I already knew, but this confirmed it for me and... I'm pretty sure these are from Charles" you looked at the team and they nodded "Yes?" You laughed "I knew it! Lando, you owe me ten bucks" you pointed at the camera and everyone laughed.
"Okay, just one last thing apparently" Olivia, your physical therapist took the tickets and the gift box while you took a smaller box out of it.
It was small, also wrapped in decorative paper and a bow at the top, so you carefully opened it. Most likely it was earrings or a necklace, Charles knew you loved jewelry.
Carefully opening it until only the black velvet box was left, Olivia gasped in surprise as she brought her hand to her mouth to cover it when you looked at her.
You opened your eyes even more when you noticed the reaction of others and you realized why.
You opened the box with now trembling hands and your eyes almost instantly filled with tears, you brought your palm to your mouth as it opened in surprise too.
It was a ring, a beautiful gold ring.
It contained a diamond obviously, not too big, not too small, the perfect size. The ring had carved leaves around it and the shape that surrounded the diamond gave the effect of being a rose.
You looked around in search of your boyfriend, and you saw him addressing you timidly.
"Is it a...? Char, is that what I think it is?" you approached him smiling.
"That depends..." He gently took the box from your hands and making sure he was far enough away from the other people, Charles dropped to one knee on the ground and extended the box towards you, he spoke:
"I know we're still very young... I've been your friend since we went Karting together, and I've been your boyfriend for four years, but i've loved you ever since we met" By that point both of their eyes were already full of tears and you were sure that you were falling more in love with each word that he said "You know I'm not good with words, so... would you let me celebrate our wins together forever? Would you let me fall in love with you more and more each day? Would you let me accompany you the rest of our days, be the happiest man on earth and become your husband?" he asked you, running out of breath at the end.
"My God, Charles. Hell yeah! Yes, yes and yes!" You laughed excitedly and shed some tears of happiness as he stood up and you rushed to hug him, listening to the applause of the others.
He grabbed your waist to hug you even tighter and spin you in the air while you two laughed.
When you touched the ground again, he hastily removed the ring from its box and placed it on your ring finger, and then leave a kiss on your knuckles.
You looked at the beautiful jewel and then back at him, certain that his eyes were even more beautiful than the gift he had just given you. Sure that what you had just given you was the best gift of all, and that even without it, Charles was everything you wanted for Christmas.
You kissed him tenderly, loving every second of that moment. When you separated, you put your foreheads together and you whispered:
"All I want for Christmas is you" both smiled remembering the song and kissed again until you were interrupted.
"That's not fair, you give me scissors to cut my hair and you get an engagement ring?" Sebastian spoke from behind, clicking his tongue and shaking his head, falsely disappointed, you laughed with the others and saw him approach "Not true, congratulations guys" he hugged you and then Charles "I look forward to my invitation to your wedding!" he exclaimed when he had gotten far enough away from the two of you, making you both laugh again.
"You will have it!"
"Ok, but who will you choose as the groomsman?" Lando suddenly appeared behind you, scaring you two slightly.
You were going to speak but Carlos speaking behind Charles interrupted you.
"Of course me, right Charles?" The man from Madrid rested his arm on your fiancé's shoulder and looked at him.
"When did they appear?" you asked puzzled.
"Groomsman Powers" Lando mumbled and you and Charles laughed.
You pulled your fiancé back to you and kissed him again, knowing that the two drivers would drive off in disgust.
They laughed in the middle of the kiss when they heard the "Ewww" from Lando.
"I love you Charles. Thank you for this" you murmured as they broke away from the kiss and he smoothed one of the unruly strands of your hair.
"I love you too, thanks to you ma belle" he hugged you and this time you finally heard the camera flashes, but far from bothering you, it made you smile.
At least you already had photo options to place in the photo frame Charles had given you.
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intoanotherworld23 · 1 year
Text
Love On Camera II
Pairing: Reader x Chris Evans
Warnings: NSFW 18+ ONLY DNI, smut in this part, oral female receiving
Summary: You had always wanted to become a famous actress one day, you just never thought it would be as an adult film actress, and your first movie happens to be with the devastatingly handsome Chris Evans
✨Please do not copy and paste my work or steal my work or publish my work or I will have you reported✨
Part 1 Part 3
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The schedules were out and it looks like you were already scheduled with Chris. What seems to be multiple times too.
Guess the ratings went through the roof with you two. Apparently yours and Chris's video was the most watched video in one night. It made you feel good hearing people were already in love with you.
You really mind doing the rest of your films with Chris anyway, but they told you it didn't work like that. In the world of adult film you had to make movies with people you weren't interested in.
Although you really were looking forward to doing another film with Chris. It had your lips feeling numb, and the tips of your fingers tingling.
Laying on the couch watching random shows you heard a loud knock on the door. Muting the television as you stood up to go see who was at the door.
You weren't expecting anyone nor did you know anybody else in the city. Maybe it was the wrong door, and they didn't realize it. This was someone you didn't expect though to be standing on the other side with a huge smile.
"Chris." You stated looking him up and down. "What are you doing here?"
"I thought I would drop by and come see you." Shoving his hands in his pockets as you stood there shocked.
"How did you find out where I lived?" Scrunching your eyebrows at him.
"The office gave it to me." He said like it was no big deal. "I hope that's okay."
A part of you wanted to say yes it did bother you, but you were afraid you would then lose him. Not wanting to risk that you put on a big smile and welcomed him in.
"Of course not it just surprised me." He walked in as you shut the door behind him. He looked around checking the place out making you a little nervous.
"Nice place you got here." He complimented and you just nodded.
"Is there something you needed?" Asking out of curiosity crossing your arms underneath your breasts.
"Not really I just thought we could hang out." His voice became soft making you feel bad for sounding harsh for his drop by.
"Sorry I just didn't expect you would want to see me outside of work." You choked out the last word. "If that's what you call it."
"No I'm sorry I should have asked if this was okay." He seemed nervous almost like he didn't know how to act.
"It's actually nice to have some company." You smiled to whir he returned. "Since I don't know anybody here."
"Well let's get this party started." He hollered clapping his hands together making you laugh.
"Party for just two people?" Raising an eyebrow.
"Even better." He wiggled his eyebrows at you making your cheeks heat up.
The two of you talked for quite some time about each other. You got to find out that he had a brother and two sisters. He grew up normally from you understood.
Admitting he loved sex and the feeling it always have him, so he decided to get paid to have sex. He started off as a low ranking actor who only got small roles in commercials. He wasn't happy with his life so he made the decision, and he's glad that he did.
Afraid to tell his family what he was doing for the past year, but they accepted him still anyway. It was never brought up whenever he came home for holidays though.
When he did mention sex though the air around the two of you became heavy. It was like there was always this pull towards him you couldn't control. It was intoxicating but also very dangerous.
The way he looked into your eyes and just stared had your heart beating so fast. It was getting hard to swallow the longer you were talking with him. You started to feel that pressure between your legs again. Clenching your thighs together to help ease the ache.
"You got anything to drink around here?" He asked as he stood up.
"Yeah I'll get it." You told him making him sit back down as you headed to the kitchen. "I've got water, soda, tea, vodka, whiskey, tequila you name it I've got it."
"I'll take tequila." With a nod you stood in the kitchen and grabbed a cup with some ice.
Grabbing the bottle you stood with your back to him. You could feel his eyes on you the whole time. Suddenly the room became very quiet and tense. Holding the bottle in your hand it sounded like something moved behind you.
Slowly pouring the liquid into the glass you felt a warm body standing right behind you. Keeping your head down as your breathing became shallow.
As if time was slowing down feeling him press right up against your figure. Your eyes focusing on the still empty glass. Unable to move or feel like you could even breath.
Feeling his hot breath fanning across your neck making the hairs on your skin stand straight. His arms wrapped around your waist as he pulled your body back against his. Dropping the bottle back onto the counter.
His lips softly grazing your exposed neck kissing the skin making you moan. The stubble on his face rubbing against your shoulder as he moved his lips around your neck and shoulder. Your hard nipples pushing painfully against your shirt.
"God I want you so bad." He growled into your ear making you close your eyes.
Leaning your head back against his chest as you let him take over. His touch was so gentle but sensual at the same time. If you weren't wet before you were right now.
"I got to feel how tight that pussy was for me." His left hand moved down your hips moving towards your front. "Now I want a taste."
Gasping as your felt his warm hand reach inside your sweatpants cupping your pussy. His mouth open slightly as he felt how soaked you had become cause of him.
"Fuck baby all for me?" He teased as his pointer and middle finger rubbed up and down your folds. Hearing the sound of your wet pussy as he slid his fingers down.
Feeling yourself moving your hips around to get more of a feel for his fingers. Chuckling into your ear at how easily he could control you.
"Such a dirty little slut." That was the first time he's called you that, and you loved it.
His other hand gripped your hip as he twirled you around to face him. Sticking the same two fingers that were just inside you into his mouth. Groaning against his fingers as licked your juices off.
Standing there in awe that a man could make you feel this way. Something as simple as licking his fingers had you wanting to bend over this counter.
Grabbing you swiftly as he placed you on top of the counter making you squeal. Maintaining eye contact with you the whole time as he gripped your pants, pulling them down your legs, throwing them to the side.
"Little pussy all wet for me." He spoke as he looked down between your legs. Your pussy glistening in his view making him lick his lips.
Getting down on his knees as he spread your legs apart by keeping his hands on your ankles. Keeping yourself balanced by leaning on your hands.
He started to kiss from your ankle all the way up to your inner thigh. Every other kiss he would glance up at you to see how crazy he was driving you. Your mouth was opened as shallow breaths left your lungs.
His mouth was inches from your folds, and you found yourself lifting your hips just wanting to feel his tongue. He chuckled at your eagerness, and instead of teasing you more he placed his entire mouth on your wet folds.
Leaning your head back as you moaned out loud. Sticking his tongue out so he could slowly lick you from the bottom of your pussy to your clit that was now poking out.
"Oh fuck Chris." Moaning louder than you intended, but it just felt too good.
Doing that movement over and over again. He started to draw figure eights against your folds. Teasingly sticking his tongue inside you very fast quickly pulling it out making you gasp.
"You taste even sweeter than you look." He groaned as he licked your pussy again.
It was hot to hear him talk about you like this while he was on his knees. You've never felt more powerful than where you were sitting right now.
His tongue was moving faster this time as he rapidly moved it up and down against your pussy. Flicking his tongue around your clit making your squeal as you gripped his hair. He loved how sensitive you were.
"God yes lick my pussy Chris." Those words were enough motivation for him to turn into the animal he was meant to be.
For several minutes he kept the same pattern and rhythm up without breaking a beat. Your hands went from gripping his hair to gripping the edge of the counter. Unable to control your body or hands anymore.
"Feel my tongue baby." He encouraged you not to think too much and just feel. "Imagine my cock."
He then would trace circles around your clit for a few seconds, and then slurp your pussy. He was eating you out like you were legit his favorite meal, and he couldn't get enough of you.
He kept that same movement up until he felt your legs shaking against his hands. Burying his face between your legs as he stuck his tongue inside of you growling when he felt your insides clenching around his tongue.
"That's it sweet baby." He cooed up at you as he maintained his eye contact with what was between your legs. "Feed me."
Looking down to see his mouth practically swallowing your entire pussy. Grinding your hips against his face trying to feel more of his tongue. His hands keeping a grip on your knees to keep you open and spread for him.
Feeling your lower stomach tightening you knew you were seconds away from cumming on his face. Your moans filling the room you were glad at this moment you didn't have a roommate otherwise that would have been embarrassing.
"Ugh yes right there." Encouraging him to not lose the spot that had you seeing stars.
Chris knew you were close as his mouth left your pussy and started to suck on your now swollen clit making you scream. Your legs were shaking and your eyes were rolling into the back of your head.
"God yes yes yes." Squealing through your tightly bit teeth.
Making eye contact with him as you felt your orgasm swiftly approaching you. His tongue felt so good you could stay like this forever. You were never one to be eaten out like this, but if he were the one doing it all the time you wouldn't mind it.
"Cum around my face baby." He commanded you as he stuck his tongue back in your pussy.
At the same time he moved one of his hands so his fingers could flick your clit as well. It was like a fire was being ignited inside of you, and you were about to lose control.
Your senses were becoming overwhelmed and your body was basically grinding against him and the counter. Feeling the urge to pee you kept trying to push his head away from you but he stayed right where he was.
"Shit I'm gonna cum Chris." You moaned almost as a warning but that only encouraged him to move his tongue and fingers faster.
Chris moved his hands then to your hips when he felt your pussy squeezing around his tongue. He knew you were close, and he planned to bring you to your orgasm. Your thighs clenching around his head as you tried not to suffocate him.
Your stomach tightening as you felt your release hitting you quickly. Chris swallowed every last drop of you and he groaned loudly as he did it. Your body started to relax when you were coming down from you high. 
"Oh my god." You panted as you felt a drop of sweat roll down your back.
Chris stood up as he kept his hands on your hips. A layer of your arousal covering the scruff around his lips. Taking his fingers and wiping it off then sticking those fingers inside of his mouth groaning at the taste of you.
You sat there out of breath and satisfied. He looked across your face to make sure you were okay. Once you weakly smiled at him he placed his lips against yours, and you could taste yourself on his tongue.
Placing your hands on his hips as the two of you made out on top of the counter. It was like he couldn't get enough of you, and had to feel every inch of your body.
"Next time you're sitting on my face." He joked as he poured himself a drink shooting the whole glass smirking when he set the glass down.
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im-not-an-object-ok · 11 months
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For three months this year, I bled nearly every day. My doctor doesn’t know why. Google doesn’t know why. The condition is simply called “postmenopausal bleeding,” and medicine’s best guess as to the cause is that the postmenopausal hormone-replacement therapy I started last November suddenly made my endometrium, the lining of the uterus, “unstable.” All scientific knowledge added up to “If it’s still happening in six months, get back in touch.” (I’m still bleeding intermittently, and I don’t know why.) This is the kind of massive medical shrug that anyone with female anatomy has probably encountered.
Despite major advances for women over the past 100 years—the invention of the contraceptive pill, greater access to safe abortions—much of female biology is still woefully underserved by science. There are reasons for this, most notably the historical exclusion of women from medical and pharmaceutical trials, partly because our awkward hormone cycles were thought to skew results. There’s also the fact that some scientists still project findings from research on men onto women, seeming not to realize that women aren’t just small men: Women are different down to the cellular level, meaning that many of our immune responses, experiences of pain, and symptoms (including, for instance, those that accompany a heart attack) may be different from men’s. Are you having a nasty, unexpected side effect from your medication? That could be because most drugs were developed with male bodies in mind. A 2020 review of 86 common medications, including antidepressants, cardiovascular drugs, and painkillers, found that women were likely routinely overmedicated and suffered adverse reactions nearly twice as often as men.
The lagging science is particularly apparent when it comes to periods and female hormones more generally—the subject of the anthropologist Kate Clancy’s new book, Period, a scientific and cultural history that purports to tell the “real story of menstruation.” Clancy’s book makes clear that a lack of data is to blame for many of the ills that women and girls face concerning their reproductive health, like doctors’ failure to diagnose painful conditions such as endometriosis.
My severe endometriosis was discovered only when I was 41, accidentally. For decades, I had been given prescription-strength painkillers, and my doctor never seemed to wonder whether the amount of pain I was in was abnormal. When I published an essay about my menopausal depression in 2018, a deluge of women wrote to tell me that when they were going through something similar, their doctors had told them they were imagining their brain fog or panic attacks, or had put them on antidepressants that didn’t work because many depression drugs are inadequate to treat the symptoms of fluctuating estrogen.
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