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averyrogers83writes · 3 years

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Destiny

Title: Destiny Authors: @endrega23 & @averyrogers83 Warnings: Fluffiness Rating: General Pairing: WinterHawk: Bucky Barnes/Clint Barton Summary: Clint is a sex-repulsed asexual - he falls fast for people, but since he doesn't want to have sex with them, they sooner or later leave him, because those just seem to be the kinds of people Clint would find for himself. Bucky on the other hand has a hard time falling in love with anyone and finds he’d much have a “friends with benefits” setup with Nat then to go out and find someone. That is until Nat knocks some sense into him and makes him realize something she’s known for a long time. Words: 2904 A/N: This is a collaboration between @averyrogers83writes and @endrega23 for the Marvellous Ace Valentine’s Collab Link: Here

@kimmycup @one-crazy-writer @shield-agent78 @hotoffthepressfics @chuuulip @buckysforeverprincess @thorfanficwriter @the-soulofdevil

There were three things Clint couldn’t function without. Coffee, pizza, and pretty much Bucky. Clinton Francis Barton, AKA Hawkeye, was a mess when Bucky wasn’t around. On his own during his down time he could be a basic basket case. He was like a kid with ADHD on steroids. It was probably all the coffee in his system. If he could, Clint would put an IV filled with coffee straight into his veins. It’s pretty much why Bucky often made two mugs of coffee before he left the apartment and would meet up with Clint on their way to work.

Bucky sat down on his couch, looking out across the street through the very conveniently placed window. On the other side, he could just see into another apartment: Clint’s, who for some reason was extremely animated as he talked to Lucky. Bucky shook his head fondly. He never knew what Clint was up to at any given moment, but whatever it was, he could be sure to be amused and and exasperated.

His phone pinged. Bucky glanced down reflexively and his heart stopped for a moment.

Nat - 1:1

Any plans for Valentine’s, yet? I’m excited to see what you come up with this year ;)

Shit, Valentine’s was next week, wasn’t it? He needed to figure out what to do for Nat. She was hard to come up with ideas for. In fact he really couldn’t remember what he did for her last year for Valentine’s Day, but either way it was only right to do something nice for her.

Just as he was scrolling through his phone for ideas, there was a persistent pounding at the door.

“Alright, hold your horses, I’m coming!” he called out He reluctantly got up from the couch and opened the door without looking up from his phone. He knew it was Clint - no one else knocked quite so enthusiastically.

“Bucky, dude, I need your help.” Clint pushed his way past Bucky, and Bucky looked up. Clint sounded… frantic, somehow.

“What is it this time? Please tell me you didn’t find another cat for me to adopt. Alpine is more than enough for me, thank you very much.”

“No,” Clint shook his head, practically jumping on his toes. He didn’t even rise to Bucky admitting to liking Alpine. What the hell? “I’ve found the one.”

“The one what?” Bucky asked, but damn he knew what the answer was gonna be. Not again.

“You know..the one I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. The one I’m going to marry.”

Bucky sighed. “Yep, exactly what he thought”. Being Clint’s best friend came with some exclusivities, mainly being privy to how chaotic his love life could be. Bucky knew everyone Clint was ever involved with because it seemed like he was with a new partner constantly. When Clint fell, he fell hard, only to break up with them a month or two later. All through college it was the same thing. Clint didn’t fall in love with someone because of what they offered physically, but more emotionally. It’s one of the things that Bucky and Clint had in common.

That wasn’t the only thing they shared, though. Clint’s dad messed him up so badly that the poor kid ended up partially deaf in one ear after a beating. After that Clint swore that he’d find a way to get out and he did. Bucky’s dad was an alcoholic that was more mentally abusive than physically, but he was known to toss Bucky around a time or two. It sucked that their shitty childhoods are what they had in common, but it allowed them to understand each other more where others couldn’t.

“Yeah? And what makes this one different?”

“She’s hot, smart, makes gravity her bitch - I mean have you seen her dance moves? I just know she’s the one for me and I need your help to plan the perfect Valentine’s date. I’m going to ask her to marry me.” Clint shrugged, and Bucky pinched his nose. He could feel he was going to give in. “Please, dude, you’re my best friend and I really need your help on this one. I don’t want to screw this up.”

Bucky sighed again. How could he deny his best friend his assistance? Besides, maybe they could help each other out in trying to figure out the best dates.

“Fine. I’ll help you, but you’ve got to help me with setting something up for Nat.”

“Are you two finally getting serious?”

Bucky just grunted. Where Clint could fall in love with someone quickly, Bucky found it hard to fall in love. He fantasized about it, don’t get him wrong - but finding someone? So far, it really seemed impossible. It was easier to find someone that he didn’t mind hanging out and occasionally having sex with, but anything long-term was nothing more than a dream and the sex - well. He didn’t really care if the relationship was physical at all, but it certainly seemed like the only kind of intimacy he could get. So for the majority of the time he would hook up with Nat.

Natasha was another one of their long time friends. Where Nat and Clint would often partner up on projects, Bucky would be the one to help make their vision a reality. It was what made the three of them such great friends. It was also why Nat and Bucky were so good for each other. They both pretty much wanted the same thing: a friends with benefits situation where there was no real commitment to each other, just an occasion meet up for sex.

The rest of the day the two spent throwing ideas back and forth on what to do. The ideas went from the simple to the down right over the top. Bucky settled for a more simple route for Nat. She wasn’t one that liked frills and fancy stuff so a nice dinner and maybe some flowers would be enough.

Clint, on the other hand, wanted it to be a night Jessica would never forget. So Bucky helped make reservations at one of the most expensive and hard to get into restaurants in the city. Lucky for them they knew someone that could get them a table. Of course then he had to hire a violinist down to the best wine and champagne. But the more Clint talked about how Jessica was the one, the more Bucky felt agitated. He tried to help with getting the reservations set up or the flowers ordered and just found himself getting frustrated faster.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to or liked helping Clint, but the longer he had to deal with it, the shorter his fuse got. When Clint asked Bucky to go with him to the jeweler to help pick out the perfect ring, Bucky finally felt close to breaking. But it wasn’t like he really had a reason to be frustrated, right? Clint would do the same for him. So he made himself take a few deep breaths and went.

-------------------------------------------

The next day Nat invited him to the new Star Wars movie at the mall. The movie was fun (though Bucky would always swear by Star Trek), but what was really worth it was their usual sushi place next to the theater.

Bucky wasn’t quite in the mood, though. He was quiet, he knew - he just didn’t feel like talking. He could feel Nat’s eyes on him, studying him, and he knew it would bite him in the ass, but…

“James.”

Bucky grunted.

“Do not do this with me,” Nat poked at him with her toe. “You are better than this.”

Bucky glanced at Nat and shrugged. “Am I though?”

“James, what is this?” Nat frowned and set her bowl down. “I thought we were over this. What brought it up?”

Bucky let his head fall back.

“Just… I don’t know, Nat. Clint is getting married and all I can feel is annoyed. It’s not like him getting married is so rare,” Bucky waved a hand in the air. “This is the third time I can remember, and you’ve known him longer. Just.” He rolled his head over to look at Nat. “Why can’t I be happy for him?”

Natasha blinked. "James…” she trailed off, then took a harder look at him. “Please tell me you’re just playing ignorant. Dummy, you're in love with Clint."

"What?" Bucky blinked. "I'm not... What?

He couldn't be, what was Natasha even talking about? Clint was his best friend. Sure, they hung out all the time, but it wasn't romantic. Was it? Noo, no way. It wasn't.

"James Buchanan Barnes." Natasha glared at him. Shit, full named? "Tell me you knew that.

"Nat, come on," Bucky pleaded, his eyes going wider. It couldn't be, right? "You're joking, right? Clint is my best friend, I'm not in love with him.

Natasha stared at him. "You're not kidding.

"Uhm..."

"I can't.” Natasha shook her head. “Just... Think a bit about it. I'm going to get ice cream.

"Rude," Bucky muttered to Natasha's departing back. Leaving him in an emotional crisis and getting ice cream without him? Rude. He should be the one getting the ice cream.

But Natasha couldn't be right, right?

October, 2014

Bucky stared out of his window. If he stood just so, he could see into Clint’s apartment on the other side of the street. Of course, Clint could also see into his, but where that would have bothered him with anyone else, with Clint, it was fine. Clint was fine.

Except right at that moment, Clint wasn’t right, because just as Bucky was preparing to turn away and settle in for his solo night in, Clint tripped right in the narrow strip Bucky could see. Probably over Lucky. The poor dog always got in Clint’s way whenever Clint was getting ready for a date, and really, Bucky couldn’t blame him. He often had the urge to trip Clint up, just so he couldn’t leave on his newest date.

Which was stupid. Clint was an adult, and they’ve known each other long enough that Bucky knew Clint didn’t appreciate others directing his life for him. So Bucky wouldn’t, really. Clint had the right to go on date after date, fall for person after person, and every time he got dumped, Bucky and Natasha would be there with ice cream. Because that’s what friends were for.

Clint tripped right in that narrow strip again, and Bucky sighed. Maybe he should go rescue Clint from Lucky. Maybe Alpine wouldn’t even mind, and that way, at least he’d have a cuddle buddy, even without Clint.

August, 2015

“Hey!” Clint shouted as he pushed open Bucky’s door. “You ready for our pizza night in?” Bucky sighed. “In the kitchen!” he called back. “You know, I distinctly remember locking the door.” “Oops?” Clint grinned at him from the kitchen doorway. “What are you making?” Bucky sighed again, but he couldn’t stop the smile curling his lips. “Just some salad. Natasha threatened again to force-feed you greens, thought I would preempt it.” “Awww, you’re my hero,” Clint fluttered his eyelids, and something in Bucky’s chest squeezed. “Yeah, well,” he said brusquely to cover it up, and pointed at the spare chopping board he set up. “Get chopping. The onions are yours.” “Aw, onions, no,” Clint complained, but obediently stepped up to the board. “Do you have to make me cry?” Only fair, Bucky thought, but bit his tongue before it slipped out. Where the hell did that even come from?

December, 2015

“Come on, Clint!” Bucky shouted to the kitchen, twisting impatiently. “The episode is starting!” “Shit!” Clint cursed, and something crashed. “I’m fine, don’t have to come!” “Sure you are, buddy,” Bucky muttered to himself. The day Clint would be fine in the kitchen was the day they married. Instead, he twisted back to look at the TV, playing the intro of Dog Cops. Why Clint loved that series, he’d never understand, but it made Clint happy so it didn’t much matter. “I’m here!” Clint announced and plopped down next to Bucky. “I think Alpine ate the chicken wings. Sorry.” “Well, whatever,” Bucky grumbled. “Come here.” “Yes, sir,” Clint grinned, and threw his head down on Bucky’s lap. “You’ll have to feed me, I can’t reach the popcorn this way.” “Oh no,” Bucky deadpanned, but obediently reached out to grab a fistful of popcorn. “Now shush.” He dropped the fistful into Clint’s open mouth. Clint grinned up at him, cheeky, but his mouth was full so Bucky just shoved his face to look at the TV. “Dog Cops. Now.”

As if on cue, the intro ended, and then suddenly Clint wasn’t that interested in annoying him anymore.

“Aww, I didn’t miss it!” Clint crowed from behind the popcorn in his mouth. “Yeah, dummy,” Bucky snorted, and sank his hand into Clint’s hair. Really, getting to pet Clint might be his favorite part of watch parties.

“Oh, shit,” Bucky whispered. “I’m in love with Clint Barton.”

“What?” a voice came from behind him, and Bucky turned, confused.

“Jessica?”

“Yeah, dummy,” Jessica frowned at him from the door to the sushi place. “What did you just say? Because to me it sounds like you just professed love to my boyfriend.”

“Oh shit,” Bucky cursed. Jessica was staring at him expectantly, but Bucky’s mind was blank. He could feel his heart start to race and his breath coming shorter. He couldn’t believe that he said that out loud, for fuck’s sake.

Jessica sighed. “It’s true, isn’t it? You know, I should thank you. You made things so much easier.”

“What?” Bucky frowned.

“Don’t you worry your pretty head about it.” Jessica smiled tightly and turned.

“What? Jessica…!” Bucky finally sprang into motion, but it was too late; Jessica was gone.

What the hell had she been talking about?

------------------------------------------

Bucky was going out of his mind. He wasn’t able to find Jessica in the mall, and she wouldn’t answer her phone. He wasn’t able to find Nat, either, and when he called her, she just laughed at him and hung up. Honestly, he should just call Clint, but…

But he was a coward. What if Jessica told Clint? What if Clint now hated Bucky? There was no way Clint felt the same way - Bucky knew what Clint in love looked like. It came quick, it was flaming, and it was over just as fast. They’ve known each other for years, now. He should just go to sleep, right? He had work in the morning. But when he looked around the apartment, it was… empty. Specifically, it had a Clint-shaped void gaping at the center. Well, that wasn’t going to change. He might as well get used to… Loud banging on his door interrupted Bucky’s train of thought. What the hell? He rushed to open the door before the banging woke the whole building. “Clint?” Shit, Clint looked awful.

“Jessica broke up with me. She just got up and broke up without any warning other than that I needed to talk to you.”

“Clint I…”

“Bucky what the….What did you say to her! Tell me!”

“Clint I didn’t realize that she was near and she...she apparently overheard me.” Bucky’s heart was racing, he knew he had to come clean, but… “Come in, at least? The whole building doesn’t need to hear us.”

“Oh,” Clint smiled sheepishly. “Sorry.”

They walked to the couch in silence, but Bucky could feel the tension bubbling up in Clint. To be fair, he wasn’t much calmer.

“Tell me what she overheard,” Clint demanded once they reached the couch.

Bucky took a big breath. Well, here goes nothing.

“She overheard me come to the realization that I love you. I know you don’t feel the same way, and I don’t expect you to. Honestly, I just want things to stay the same; I value your friendship more than any romance.” Bucky’s face flushed. “But I’ve never felt more like myself with anyone else, and, well. You wanted to know.” His palms were sweating and he felt like he was going to faint, and Clint was just staring at him with an open mouth. An actually, comically open mouth. “Clint?”

“Where the fuck did you get the idea that I don’t love you?”

“Wha..what?” Bucky blinked.

“I’ve loved you since the day we met,” Clint said, and a shit eating grin started to appear on his face. “You were everything I ever wanted from a relationship.”

“But…” Bucky blinked again. This was… this didn’t make sense. “You kept falling in love with people!”

“Polyamory,” Clint shrugged, and oh, that made sense. “I kept hoping someone would turn out half as good as you. No one did, though.”

“I… Okay, okay.” Bucky took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, this is a lot to process. Oh my god.” Relief started to fill him. A stupid smile stretched his face, and it felt like he could fly away. Oh god, could he really get to have this? “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Clint grinned back at him, then leaned over to kiss Bucky’s cheek, and Bucky’s face erupted in flames. “I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time.”

“We’ll have to talk things over.”

“I know.”

“Things can’t be this easy.”

“Can’t they though?”

“Wanna cuddle?”

“Hell yes.”

#marvellous aces valentines event #clint barton #bucky barnes #aces #natasha romanoff #jessica drew #sex-repulsed #greysexual #get together #ace characters

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feedmecookiesnow · 4 years

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love the one you’re with

For the anon who requested: “Can you write something for winterhawk where one of them gets nervous about PDA or being together publicly because lgtbq community wasn’t accepted for a while? (I have issues myself 😅)”

I’m sorry this has taken me so long to get to! As a fairly straight person, this isn’t something I’ve ever experienced personally, so I was asking around for some details to help me get this right. Thank you for your patience, and I hope this is what you were looking for.

***

“Can I ask you something?”

Bucky looks over at Clint. He’s hanging upside down on the couch, lazily throwing darts at the opposite wall. They’re forming some kind of pattern, although it’s too early to tell what yet.

“Yes, your abs look good like that,” Bucky tells him.

Clint snorts. “I know that. That’s not the question.” He throws another dart.

“What’s the question?”

“Why won’t you hold my hand when we’re in public?”

Bucky freezes in the middle of flipping a waffle onto a plate. “What?”

“Whenever we’re out.” Clint rolls onto his stomach and pushes upright. Bucky eyes the muscles in his back appreciatively. “You’ll touch me here, or in front of the team, but whenever we go out it’s like you shut down. Even when we’re on dates.”

“I don’t...” Bucky thinks about it. “Do I?”

“Yeah. Even if I initiate it, you pull away after a bit.”

Bucky clears off the griddle and snaps it off. “I don’t mean to.”

“So why do you?”

He sounds defensive about it, almost. Or something like that. They haven’t been officially dating long, and Bucky still finds it hard to read his tones sometimes. “I don’t know. Come eat.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You were hungry ten minutes ago.”

“I---” Clint stops, looks at the waffles. “Will you just answer the question, please?”

Bucky studies him for a moment. He’s rolling a dart between his fingers, and his whole body is tense. Keyed up, almost. Like he’s ready to bolt out the door.

“You think I’m ashamed of us,” Bucky guesses. “Of being with you.”

“It’s crossed my mind,” Clint says, trying and failing to look like this thought doesn’t bother him. “I mean, I know you and Steve used to be a thing, and I’m not anything compared to him. I’m irritating and hard to deal with and I mess shit up a lot. We don’t look like we go together at all. I get it if you don’t want to be seen with me.”

Bucky bursts out laughing.

It’s probably the wrong move, judging by his face, but Clint is just so far off the mark that it’s almost absurd.

“It’s not you,” he finally gets out. “Were you really thinking that? That’s not even close to being true. I love everything about you, irritating parts and all. You are not the problem here. Not even a little bit.”

Clint looks relieved. “So what is it, then?”

“It’s everyone else.” Bucky rubs a hand through his hair. “I mean---it’s just---when Steve and I were together, we had to hide it. If people knew we were queer like that...” He shakes his head. “Steve got beat up enough as it was, you know? They woulda killed him if we weren’t careful. So we had to hide it.”

“You don’t have to hide it now,” Clint says. “It’s the modern age, Buck. It’s okay to be gay. Or queer, or bi, or ace, or whatever the hell you want to be. No one cares.”

Bucky sets the waffles down. “Sure they do. Didn’t you hear those guys the other day? And then last week, you kissed me in the store and that one guy got in your face about it. You almost got your nose broken.”

“So what?” Clint pushes up onto his hands, walks a couple steps, then tucks and rolls up onto his feet. “You just gotta ignore them. That’s what I do. Or punch them, if they deserve it. I mean, anyone who gets in a fight with us is gonna regret it. That guy did.”

“It’s not that easy, Clint.”

“Sure it is.”

“It’s not.”

Clint looks at him. “It really bothers you, huh?”

Bucky shrugs helplessly.

“Why haven’t you said something?”

“I don’t know. I guess I was hoping it would go away.”

Clint snorts and sits down, pulling a waffle over. “Because ignoring your problems is the best way to deal with them?”

“Okay, you are so not one to talk about ignoring problems.”

“Fair.” He takes the syrup out of Bucky’s hand and starts prying at the cap. “I wish you would’ve told me, though. You can talk to me about this stuff.”

“I know. I just...” Bucky takes the syrup back and pops the cap off, then hands it to him. “It’s really ingrained. I don’t even know I’m doing it half the time.” He sighs. “It’s just different. I spent my whole relationship with Steve trying not to talk about it, or show anything that would make people think that about us. And then there was Hydra and the whole Winter Soldier thing, you know.”

“That minor incident, yeah,” Clint says. He turns the bottle over and somehow manages to miss the plate entirely. “Aw, syrup, no.”

Bucky reaches over to the sink and tosses him a washcloth. “Anyway. I guess I’ve never really had a chance to work past it. I like you, and I want to be with you, But every time we’re out there---” he gestures to the window “---it’s like it all comes back to me. Even something as easy as holding hands just screams danger in my head. I don’t want you to get hurt because some asshole’s got an opinion about a couple of guys being together.”

“You’re worth getting hurt over,” Clint says, getting up to rinse off the cloth. He kisses Bucky’s forehead as he goes by, and Bucky has to take a moment to breathe past the sudden lump in his throat. “But I understand. I’m glad you told me.” He thinks for a moment, then brightens up. “I have an idea.”

“No,” Bucky protests, because Clint’s ideas inevitably end up with something going terribly wrong. He adores the hell out of Clint, but he also has absolutely no idea how one person manages to get into so much trouble. “Steve will kill us if he has to bail us out of jail again.”

“No one’s going to jail this time,” Clint says. “I promise.”

“We’d better not, because Tony still brings that up, and I’m really tired of hearing about it.”

“No jail. You’ll like this, I promise.”

Bucky doesn’t ask further. Clint would probably tell him if he pushed, but he also knows that it makes Clint happy to surprise him with things, so he just swallows down his questions and reaches for the syrup.

------

Two nights later, Clint knocks on the bathroom door. “You in here?”

“No, it’s a ghost,” Bucky says. “Of course it’s me, who the hell else would it be?”

Clint chuckles. “Okay, good point. Are you almost ready?”

“Yeah, yeah, give me a sec. Are you going to tell me where we’re going?”

“Canada. Specifically, Toronto.”

Bucky blinks in surprise. “Canada?”

“Yep.”

“Toronto?”

“Yep.”

“Why?”

“You’ll see when we get there.” He knocks again. “Come on. Nat has graciously agreed to fly us.”

“Really?”

“Okay, so I bribed her. Same thing.” He knocks for the third time. “Come on, I’ve already got a bag packed for you.”

Bucky looks in the mirror one more time. He’s slightly nervous for this, although he’s not sure why. “Yeah, okay.”

He steps out into the hallway, and nearly starts laughing at the look on Clint’s face. Bucky doesn’t think he’s wearing anything particularly special---it’s just nicer jeans and a dark grey shirt, but Clint looks like he’s been sucker-punched at the sight.

“Gonna catch flies like that,” Bucky informs him, but Clint doesn’t appear to be listening. He’s too busy dragging his eyes all over Bucky, from his legs to his chest to his arms and finally back up to his face.

“Ah,” he manages after a moment, a strangled sort of noise that Bucky wants to hear again in a slightly different context. “You, uh. You look good.”

“Not too bad yourself, doll,” Bucky says, kissing his cheek. “I like the jacket.”

Clint looks down at it. “Yeah, Nat picked it out. She picked out all of this, actually. Something about not trusting me to dress myself.”

“Figures. You said you packed a bag? I thought this was a one night thing.”

“Nope. We’re going on a weekend vacation.” He grins at Bucky. “We deserve it.”

“I’m in,” Bucky says immediately. “Can’t remember the last vacation we had.”

“Florida.”

Bucky thinks for a moment. “That was less of a vacation and more of us going off-grid for three days.”

“We take what we can get.” Clint thumbs towards the door. “Let’s go.”

------

They drop their things in their hotel, and then Clint leads him downtown Toronto, navigating through the streets with ease. “Memorized the map,” he says, when Bucky asks how he knows where they’re going. “I wanted to look confident. Is it working?”

“Definitely.”

“Great,” Clint says, two seconds before he trips over his own feet.

Bucky catches him automatically. “Careful,” he murmurs, smirking a little.

“Just testing gravity.” He straightens his jacket and grins at Bucky. “We’re here, anyway.”

“And here is...”

“Have a look.” Clint gestures behind him, and Bucky turns around.

It doesn’t look any different to the other streets they’ve been walking on, and at first he doesn’t get it. “Why...” he starts, and then he sees the crosswalk. It’s painted in rainbow colors, something that he’s come to recognize as having a different meaning beyond just pretty aesthetics. And it’s not just the road either---it’s on the buildings, and in the windows, and painted onto bricks.

Clint gently pulls him out of the way as a tall woman walks past, one arm wrapped around another woman. As Bucky watches, they kiss each other good-bye, then separate at the street corner. Another group of people hustles past, all done up in fancy dresses, and Bucky realizes with slight shock that four out of the five are guys. And it’s not that he’s never seen guys in dresses, but not out in public, and it takes him a moment to wrap his mind around it.

Bucky looks to Clint, who is watching him with an intent expression. “This is the Village,” he says, throwing his arms out. “What do you think?”

“I, uh...”

He turns, looking around at the multitude of pride flags, and the different people walking past, and he feels---

He feels at ease, for once. Relaxed in a way that he normally can’t get while out on dates. He’s always evaluating the crowd when they’re out at home, hyperaware of the fact that someone might see and react poorly to them being together. It’s never quite the violent scene of his youth---he once knew a guy who was beaten near to death for it---but it still happens. There’s still dirty looks, and whispered words, and other things that set his teeth on edge, making him paranoid to even stand too close to Clint sometimes

But this is different. There’s no looks, here. No muttered slurs. He’s pretty sure that he could display his metal arm and kiss Clint in the middle of the street, and nobody would even look twice at them.

“I love it,” he says honestly, and Clint beams at him.

“Awesome. I knew you would.” He points across the street. “I made us reservations there. Come on.” He holds out his hand, and after a moment, Bucky puts his own in it. It’s worth the brief flash of discomfort to see the look of joy on Clint’s face.

They get settled at an outdoor table and put in their orders. Bucky sips his beer and looks around at the street, taking it all in. “This is really something else,” he says. “Have you been here before?”

“No, but Steve and Tony were telling me about it. I thought it might be something you’d like.”

Bucky nods. “I do. It’s...it’s nice. I feel like I can relax. Like I don’t have to be worried.”

“You don’t have to be worried anyway,” Clint tells him.

“I know that,” he says. “Believing it’s another story. Some of the shit I used to see, Clint, you can’t even imagine---”

“This isn’t the 40’s anymore,” Clint says carefully. “I know people still suck, but it’s not quite as bad as it used to be.”

“Yeah, but...” Bucky shakes his head. “I’m trying, okay? It’s just hard to shake.”

“I know, Buck.” He leans forward suddenly, setting his beer aside. “Look at me.”

Bucky does, noting the serious set to his face. “I’m listening.”

“Good.” He taps his fingers on the table. “Here’s the deal. I’m insanely happy to be with you. I want to hold your hand in public and kiss you in public and possibly have you bang me in an back alley somewhere.”

Bucky blushes. “Clint, what---”

“Shut up and let me have my fantasies.” Clint winks, then turns serious again. “But I brought you here because I wanted to show you this.” He gestures to the street, and the people walking past. “That there’s places out in the world where you don’t have to hide. You can be proud of who you are, and who you’re with.”

Bucky nods, not sure if he’s really got the words to express what he’s feeling at the moment.

“You don’t have to do this at home,” Clint says. “I don’t want to force you into doing anything you’re not comfortable with. If you need me to play the straight bro with you when we’re in public, I can do that. But I just wanted to show that there’s more people out here, like us. We’re not alone. It’s okay for you and me to be together, and it’s okay to show that we’re together.”

He reaches out and covers Bucky’s hand. “There’s always gonna be assholes and people making comments or staring. I can’t stop them. But I like you too much to let it bother me, and I’m hoping that one day you can get to the point where you feel the same.”

“I...”

Clint smiles at him. “I’m in this for the long run, okay? And it’s gonna take a lot more than some moron with an opinion to scare me off of you. Got it?”

“Got it,” Bucky says quietly. “Thank you, doll.”

“I got your back,” Clint says just as quietly, squeezing his hand. “Always.”

“I know you do.” Bucky smiles at him. “You’re my guy.”

“Damn straight.” He pauses, then says, “Well. Straight might be the wrong term.”

“Oh for fucks sake,” Bucky snorts, burying his face in his hand. “I can’t take you anywhere.”

“Shut up. You love my puns and you know it.”

Their food arrives, and they spend the rest of the time talking and eating. When they’re done, Clint drops a couple bills on the check before Bucky can and stands up. “Come on,” he says, straightening his jacket. “There’s a bar down the street we gotta see.”

“Why’s that?” Bucky asks, standing up.

“Rumor has it they have a hell of a drag show. I’ve been dying to see it.” He holds out his hand. “Shall we?”

“Happy to,” Bucky says, taking it, and he pulls Clint into a kiss that’s probably not entirely appropriate for a public space. But he doesn’t care, and to realize that he doesn’t care just makes him even happier.

“Okay,” Clint says when they break apart. “You kiss me like that again, and we’re gonna move here full time.”

Bucky laughs. “I think I’d be okay with that,” he says, letting Clint pull him away from the table. “I like it here.”

“Me too,” Clint says with a grin, tucking his hand more firmly into Bucky’s. “Me too.”

#winterhawk #cookiewrites #clint/bucky #pride #lgbtq fiction #marvel #fanfic #anonasks

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what2finish · 4 years

Text

Creator Post: Rudearrow

Rudearrow’s WTF Creator Post (Auction #1001, #1002)

Creator’s previous works: Here!

Link to GDrive Folder of WIP Summaries/HCs/Plot Bunnies Creator is Offering: Here!

you can contact the creator before bidding at:

email: [email protected]

Likes: fantasy au, sci-fi au, plotfic/casefic, found family, Redemption Arc With Hard Work, Demonstrating Contrition, and Learning to Love Yourself(tm), wingfic, lesser known pairings and characters, crossovers, whacky ideas taken seriously, whacky ideas taken whackily, bdsm

Do Not Wants: no non-con, torture, incest, or underage. no harder kinks, ie: scat, waterworks, gore, etc.

Preferred Charities of the creator: Any

Full Charities List

___

Auction #1

Type of fanwork: fanfiction

Fandom: Marvel, DC, Stranger Things, Game of Thrones, Supernatural, Mo Dao Zu Shi/The Untamed, (honestly, just email me if you like my writing... if I know your canon, I'm probably down)

Pairing(s): I'm a multi-shipper who loves underdog/rarepairs, existing WIPs are for Winterhawk, Winteriron, Winterironhawk, Robb/Theon, Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington/Dean Winchester. Platonic/grey-ace pairings welcome!

Character(s): there isn't a character from any of the canons listed that I won't write

Rating: General, Teen, Mature

Marvel WIPs:

Crimson & Clover: Urban Fantasy AU; 616 Clint & Bucky, endgame Winterhawk. Clint Barton has finally done the Right Thing(tm) and left his life of petty crime with Cirque du Nuit behind him. He’s got a GED, a bow, and coffee- and not much else. In the process of rebuilding his life, he runs into a not-so-tall, dark, and handsome stranger. Literally. He thinks a spilled latte and a bump on the head will be the end of his encounter, but with each successive run-in, he realizes that maybe luck just isn’t on his side and outrunning his past might not be in the cards after all. Current WC: 15k.

Half-splitting the Problem: Winteriron canon reversal! Feared dead after an attack on his convoy in Afghanistan nearly three months ago, the CEO of Barnes Industries has once again defied expectations. Having survived the attack and his subsequent captivity by the terrorist organization, The Ten Rings, James ‘Bucky’ Barnes has returned to American soil and turned his company upside down. Tony Stark, a young man from humble means with few options, has been working his internship with SI R&D for nearly a year now. He’s noticed activities that can only be described as ‘iffy’ at best, but with a boatload of student debt and a work history peppered with reprimands and missed deadlines he’s decided to keep his head down for the almighty dollar and hope for the best... Until he stumbles across Obadiah Stane’s personal project. Current WC: 1.5k

Seraphic (Hallowed Incorporeal Entities) Liaison Division, AKA: S.H.I.E.L.D.: Winterironhawk wingfic! Bucky Barnes has been assigned a new Seraph partner and he’s not happy about it. Tony Stark is that Seraph and while he’s not thrilled either, it really is a lot of fun to push Barnes’s buttons. Clinton Francis Barton, unbeknownst to him, is their first assigned charge. And honestly? He could use all the help S.H.I.E.L.D. can spare. Current WC: 3k

Misadventures in Solitude: Clint Barton-centric, fwb Winterhawk, open to endgame romantic Winterhawk, alternative Clint pairing (except Nat. Sorry, for me they are always platonic soul mates), and/or poly. Just a day in the life of Clint Barton, coffee-riddled, exhausted corporate cog. He did all the “right” things- went to school, got a decent white-collar job, moved to the big city- so why is he so unhappy? And lost. Except, shit... he’s actually lost. Where the futz is he? Current WC: 1.5k

Part I: The Space Between Us: 616 Winterhawk; Space! Kidnapped Clint! BDSM. This is technically part one to the fic I finished a few months ago on my linked Ao3, Show Me the Miles. Bucky has been chosen for the “away team”, as Stark likes to call it. While Bucky is bored almost to tears watching Stark and Rogers schmooze with extraterrestrial royalty, Clint is snatched while on a milk run mission back on Earth. Bucky, suffice it to say, doesn’t exactly take the news well. Current WC: 5.5k

Marvel HC:

Fairytale Winteriron AU: Bucky/Tony Bucky is a sprite with moth wings. Tony is a sprite with butterfly wings. Their peoples have centuries of animosity and sharp words for each other. Then ‘the fire(fly) nation attacked’ and [choose which one here] is injured, only to be saved by the other! Begrudging friendship and appreciation turn into more. Endgame is sprites in love. \o/

Completion WC Estimates:

Crimson & Clover, Estimated 40k+ upon completion.

Half-splitting the Problem, Estimated 15-20k upon completion.

Seraphic (Hallowed Incorporeal Entities) Liaison Division, AKA: S.H.I.E.L.D., Estimated 20k+ upon completion.

Misadventures in Solitude, Estimated 10k+ upon completion.

Part I: The Space Between Us, Estimated 15-20k upon completion.

Fairytale Winteriron AU HC, Estimated 15-20k upon completion.

GOT WIP:

Manual for Spaceship Westeros: Robb/Theon; Space Colony Au! There is tension between the loose planetary alliance that calls itself Westeros. Robb Stark, as the only full-blood Stark son of age, is sent to negotiate a stronger alliance with Iron Born, a terrifying clan who has made a small water planet habitable through the genetic modification of its ancestors, sweat, and blood. Robb arrives to seek an audience with The Greyjoy and make his offer- the hand of his sister Sansa. But The Greyjoy deems this insufficient and Robb quickly finds himself on the offering plate. Current WC 2k.

Completion WC Estimate: 20-25k

Stranger Things & Supernatural:

Billy Dean Was My Lover (working tongue in cheek title): main pairing Steve/Billy (possibly Steve/Billy/Dean?); Billy/Dean; crossover plot-ish fic! When his dad called and ordered Dean to pack up Sam then head for the Midwest, he didn’t ask questions. Apparently, strange things were happening in small town Indiana; which was usually a Winchester’s bread and butter. Yet even Dean and Sam aren’t quite prepared for the kind of strange Hawkins has, especially with John failing to meet them at the town’s motel. But there was something even more surprising than the super-powered teenage girl and a whole new world of monsters...

Hearing the name of Dean’s tape-swap penpal out of some preppy, polo-wearing guy’s mouth. Current WC 1k.

WILDCARD, AKA: ANY HC/PROMPT FOR THE ABOVE PAIRINGS AND FANDOMS LISTED.

If you like my writing but aren’t into the WIPs here, I will write a fic that is a minimum of 10k for any character, ship, platonic pair, for any of the fandoms listed above. I’m also happy to write for material/canon I know but that isn’t listed above. If I know it well enough, I’ll write it for you! (Exception being RPS.) Just message me if you’re curious and I’ll confirm that I’m familiar with the source material. :)

Starting Bid: $10

Creator Notes:

Like my fellow mod, Mei, I am willing to work my winner's likes into my stories and am open to brainstorming sessions!

Feel free to email me to learn more about any of the WIPs stories and if you like, I will give you my Discord handle. I am willing to work with my winner's pairings as long as they don't fall into my DNWs. For Marvel the only two pairings (of the ones I am most familiar) that I just cannot see romantically/sexually are Clint/Natasha and Bucky/Steve.

Current Bid Spreadsheet: Here.

Please check what the current bid is at before bidding.

Bids might take a few minutes to load.

Bidding ends on November 28th 11:59:00pm CST. The highest bid before that deadline will win the auction.

Bidding Form: Here.

Please check the Bid Spreadsheet and bid higher than the previous bid.

You will not be notified if you have been outbid. Only the winner will be notified after bidding ends.

___

Auction #2

Type of fanwork: fanfiction

Fandom: Marvel, DC, Stranger Things, Game of Thrones, Supernatural, Mo Dao Zu Shi/The Untamed, (honestly, just email me if you like my writing... if I know your canon, I'm probably down)

Character(s): there isn't a character from any of the canons listed that I won't write

Rating: General, Teen, Mature

WIPs/Prompt:

Literally the same as Auction #1!

Staring Bid: $10

Creator Notes:

Like my fellow mod, Mei, I am willing to work my winner's likes into my stories and am open to brainstorming sessions!

**In the unlikely event that both winning bidders want the same fic and you don’t want any of the other WIPs listed, I will offer up a fic of equal or greater length for whatever HC you desire. Within, of course, the same DNW parameters listed above. This includes the Wild Card option!**

Current Bid Spreadsheet: Here.

Please check what the current bid is at before bidding.

Bids might take a few minutes to load.

Bidding ends on November 28th 11:59:00pm CST. The highest bid before that deadline will win the auction.

Bidding Form: Here.

Please check the Bid Spreadsheet and bid higher than the previous bid.

You will not be notified if you have been outbid. Only the winner will be notified after bidding ends.

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shatteredhourglass · 4 years

Text

Fic Commissions Are Back!

UPDATES:

Commissions must now be paid in US DOLLARS. (ya boi realized that he was getting paid about half of what his american counterparts are getting because Australian dollars are not worth shit. thanks. sorry.)

Word Limit is up to 10k.

Pairings Added:

-Ironhawk (Clint Barton/Tony Stark) -Clam, Hawkfalcon, whatever Sam/Clint is called -Chris Hartley/Mike Munroe -Chris Hartley/Mike Munroe/Josh Washington

COMMISSIONS: OPEN (2/3 Available)

I’m going with a flat rate of $10=1k words minimum (you may get a little extra word, as a treat). Payment upfront, can be supplied via my Ko-Fi (@breadinc) or PayPal address (which I can supply in dms.) Please Choose US Dollars.

I will not be going over 10k in one commission right now.

If you want something over 5k you will need to have some semblance of a detailed idea and you’ll need to talk to me first - I don’t want to promise a bigass oneshot and then have no content to write in it, y'know? If you feed me ideas then I might be able to yank something out my ass but I’d prefer if you had something prepared.

Remember to tell me your squicks, triggers and DNWs - I’d be horrified if I accidentally put in a thing that made you uncomfortable. Please let me know of anything you aren’t happy about beforehand so we can avoid this, even if it’s something you feel is trivial.

You can contact me via Tumblr DMs or Discord (breadinc#1494).

Ships I’ll Write For:

MARVEL-

Winterhawk (Bucky Barnes/Clint Barton)

Winterhawk PLUS/Poly Relationships (+Steve Rogers, +Sam Wilson, +Natasha Romanov, +Tony Stark, +Movie!Eddie Brock (I don’t know enough about comics), +TV!Matt Murdock) and combinations thereof

Amerihawk (Clint Barton/Steve Rogers)

Clintasha (Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov)

Winteriron (Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark)

Sambucky/Winterfalcon (Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson)

Ironhawk (Clint Barton/Tony Stark)

Whatever we’re calling Clint Barton/Sam Wilson

UNTIL DAWN-

Climbing Class (Chris Hartley/Josh Washington)

Mike Munroe/Josh Washington

Chris Hartley/Mike Munroe

Chris Hartley/Mike Munroe/Josh Washington

I Will Write:

Explicit/NSFW Scenes (Kink needs to be discussed beforehand, however I’m pretty much up for anything as a challenge.)

LGBT Rep! Love my trans!Clint, nb!Nat, ace/aro content, anything in that realm is yours to request. Make sure if you want a genderqueer rep that you tell me your personal do-not-wants - we’ve all got different squicks there.

Violence

Any Ratings (You want fluff? You get fluff!)

Setting/Occupation AUs (eg: coffeeshops) (Discussing these first would be good because some require research, and some I don’t know how to do.)

Movie/Crossover AUs (I like movies! These also need discussion first.)

Continuations of Previously-Written Fics (Discussion First!)

I Will NOT Write:

Non-con/Rape, Rapeplay

Anything Particularly Hateful (No anti stuff, I try to cultivate a positive experience.)

Historical AUs (I do not like these)

Sad/Tragic Endings

Permanent Major Character Death

Homophobia, Transphobia, Explicit Racism, etc, etc

Self Harm

#hooray for updates #commissions open #fanfic commissions #whee #not tagging the pairings bc i don't want to clog the tag

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leagueofidiots · 4 years

Note

Every OTP you have across all fandoms? For science of course

Oh, so all my ships, got it.

Hunger Games

Nothing I actively look for, but I support Finnick/Annie

Harry Potter

Drastoria!! (Draco/Astoria) I have cried

Blaise/Pansy??

Luna/Neville

Magnus Chase

Beatrice (Magnus/Alex)

I support Blitzstone, but also Hearth is aro/ace so that's a QPR right there

Maze Runner

Minewt is tolerable

Gally/Sonja

Marvel

Winterhawk (Bucky/Clint)

Tasertricks (Darcy/Loki)

I support Peter/MJ I guess

Naruto

Kakagai, but only as a QPR. Kakashi is like the Kurogiri of that fandom to me, I see romance and I gag

Sai/Ino?????

BNHA

Spinarakidabi

Magnetmagic

Jinran??

And then I have other fandoms with no ships. So yeah. Lots of rarepairs for the ones I actually seek out

#not lov

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hawksonfire · 4 years

Text

2019: Year In Review

Seeing as how this is the first year that I’ve really written a lot (or anything at all), I thought I’d try out this ‘year in review’ thing.

This year was the first year (ever) that I’d really put my words out into the world. I was honestly terrified to post my first work on Ao3 - what if no one liked it? What if I got hate for it? And worst of all, what if it was terrible?

I’m glad to say that none of that even came close to happening. I’m so lucky to have fumbled my way into the Marvel fandom, specifically the Winterhawk portion of it, because it’s just such a welcoming place. Everyone I’ve met has been so welcoming and uplifting, and I can honestly say that there are a few people (everyone) that come to mind who I hope will be with me for years to come.

Back to fic - At the beginning of this year, I had one fic on Ao3 - a 2018 Kinktober fic. At this very moment, I have 100+ fics with over 380k words between them. I’ve written fic for people, gotten fic from people, and posted stuff just for the hell of it. 2019 was a good year for my wording progress, and I can only hope that 2020 beats it.

Accomplishments under the cut! :)

Stats

Word Count: 380,035

Fic Count: 130

Fics

Captain Cockblock - a Winterhawk fic in which Steve is constantly cockblocking Bucky and Clint. It was the very first thing I posted in 2019, and I can genuinely say that I was terrified.

Revenge Against Captain Cockblock - the sequel to Captain Cockblock, in which Clint and Bucky (and Sam) get revenge on Steve for the way he kept cockblocking them. First sequel!! I was excited about this one.

Aggressively Progressive - a Stucky fic where Steve tells the press (and other assorted people) exactly what he thinks about the not vaccinating your children (among other things).

How It Should Have Gone - This fic. God, this fic. This was really the first multi-chapter long fic that I had attempted, and I had no idea how it was going to be accepted. It’s set before, during, and after the first Avengers, and in it, Steve attends university, falls in love with Clint and Natasha, and saves the world. It’s canon-adjacent, and I swear this is probably the fic I am most proud of to date.

Steve Rogers: Unapologetic Slut - A 5+1 fic I did as part of the BDBD slutty!Steve challenge. It was definitely a ton of fun to write and as a bonus, it introduced me to the 5+1 trope which I can now say is a favourite of mine.

there is a house in new orleans (they call the rising sun) - A birthday fic for the amazing @kangofu-cb (even though it was late) because she deserves all the nice things, dammit.

i need something to believe in (throw my hands up to the ceiling) - I realized one day, that my best bro @flowerparrish has literally written so much fic for me (check out zir Ameriwinterhawk series, aka, the ‘pornathon verse’ and this Amerihawk sex pollen fic) and yet, somehow, I had not written zir a single thing? This could not stand. So I made my amazing friend choose a whole bunch of prompts from a list, then slammed together a bunch of them into one 68-chapter long fic to be updated as needed.

Events

MCU Kink Bingo Round 3 - Somehow, I am unsurprised that the very first event I joined this year was a kink bingo. A series of 16 works of various ships and kinks.

Clint Barton Bingo - Clint has always been one of my favourite Marvel characters, so as soon as I saw that this bingo was accepting sign-ups, I had to do it. And I did! It resulted in 19 works from the first round (and more to come from the second round) with Clint being paired with various Marvel characters (but mostly Bucky).

Mandatory Fun Day - At this point in the year, I was fully inside the Winterhawk dumpster. The lovely mods over at @mandatoryfunday provide weekly prompts for us Winterhawklings to enjoy, and although I haven’t made a fill for this in a while, I definitely enjoyed the ones I did make and hope to make more in 2020.

Star Spangled Bingo - Yes, another bingo. I think this was my third one, but there were plenty more to come. I had a lot of fun participating in this one!

Bucky Barnes Bingo - Bucky, next to Clint, is another favourite character of mine, and I am so glad that the mods over at @buckybarnesbingo decided to do a second round in 2020. They can count on my sign-up, for sure.

Stucky Bingo - While it’s only got one fic so far, I’m definitely planning on writing more for it. XD

Captain America Reverse Big Bang: A Tail of Two Idiots - This!! This was my first RBB and I was incredibly lucky to be paired with the amazing @astaraiches-oisinn. She created some gorgeous art of Steve and Bucky at a dog park, and somehow I managed to write nearly 31.5k and post it on time! But I could not have done it without her, love you bb <333333

Winterhawk Reverse Big Bang: Main Attraction - holy fuck, y’all. I’d been a massive fan of @kangofu-cb and her words and art for a while at this point, and when I found out that we’d been paired together for the RBB? I’m pretty sure my screech broke windows. She was an absolute joy to work with and I’m glad to say that we’re now friends (we’re friends, right CB? Please let me have this) and she brightens up my day whenever I talk to her.

MCU Rarepairs Bingo - Again, there’s only one fic here but I’ve definitely got some fics planned for it.

Winterhawk Bingo - Alright, look. While I am well aware that I join too many events (no one can stop me) I am also aware that I like to run things. Thus, Winterhawk Bingo was born. It’s been a joy to run and a joy to participate in, and I’ve made even more friends for me to love with this event.

Kinktober 2019 - This was my second year in a row doing Kinktober, but I had way more fun this year because I opened up the prompt list to a bunch of my friends and followers and offered to write them a kink of their choice (or five). Definitely going to be doing it again that way in 2020.

Marvel Bingo: oh, the good ol’ days - This series is absolutely one of my all-time favourite things that I have ever written. It starts off with Clint/Steve, but as the stories progress, Bucky joins the squad for eventual Steve/Bucky/Clint, or my all-time OT3: Ameriwinterhawk. This series has 24 planned fics, with 20 so far completed. I was aiming to blackout my Marvel Bingo card, so let’s see if we can’t hit that goal, shall we?

Winterhawk Wonderland: noticeable - Hawkie’s first gift exchange! I had a super great time participating in this event (run by the lovely mods over at @winterhawkwonderland) and I can’t wait to do it again next year (if they choose to run it again)!

Marvel Trumps Hate - I signed up for my first charity auction! Look forward to those fics in 2020!

Marvel Reverse Big Bang - Technically, posting is in 2020, but the majority of this event took place in 2019, so I’m counting it.

Fics for Events (that I’m particularly proud of)

Lime Blossoms - While technically a fill for Bucky Barnes Bingo, Clint Barton Bingo, MCU Kink Bingo, and Star Spangled Bingo, this fic holds a special place in my heart. It’s very soft, and it also happens to be the fic that I jammed four different bingo squares into.

Whatever You Want - A fill for the Soulbond square of my Bucky Barnes Bingo card. Winterhawk, of course, but with a twist. Clint has two soulmarks, and they end up being Bucky and the Winter Soldier.

Safe - This fic holds is very special to me because in it, Clint is asexual. He has a crush on Bucky but doesn’t know how to go about doing something about it while making his boundaries clear. As an ace person myself who hasn’t always had the best luck with that, this fic was basically me holding up a flashing neon sign going “THIS! THIS IS WHAT I WANT!”

Flags - Another ace fic, but this time with ace!Bucky! Clint helps him as Bucky tries to figure stuff out. It’s basically pure, self-indulgent fluff.

All Bark, All Bite - Ah, yes. Werewolf!Clint and Vampire!Bucky. This is absolutely what kickstarted my obsession with supernatural AU’s, no doubt about it.

i walked with you (once upon a dream) - Another birthday fic! This one was for a friend of mine who isn’t on Tumblr, but she absolutely loves marine life. SO! Of course, I wrote her a 5+1 fic with mer!Bucky and pirate!Clint that somehow turned into 16k words of basically pure fluff.

topsy turvy and upside down - This was a fill for the Mandatory Fun Day prompt “Clint as the Winter Soldier”. God, I had so much fun with this fic and I wrote all 7k of it in like, a day or something, because the words would just not stop flowing.

anything, anything - This. This was written for @flowerparrish as a part of Kinktober, and I honestly have no idea how it became an ace!Steve sex pollen fic, except that it did. I definitely plan to write more ace fics, and more sex pollen fics, and more ace sex pollen fics.

i ain’t proud of my address (in this torn up town) - Affectionately referred to by me as Demon!Clint, this fic will absolutely be updated and completed. At some point. But I give you my word.

That’s all, folks! That sums up my 2019! Well, the fic portion of it anyway. I made so many new friends that I hope stick with me for a long while, I got so many new ideas for fics I plan to write in 2020, and! I learned a few things about myself along the way!

Things to expect from me in 2020:

- Events. So many events. All of the events.

- Fics. SO many. A few for events, a few not.

- I guess you’ll just have to wait and see, won’t you?

#hawkie writes #year in review #ohhhh goddddd so many events #fuck #and more to come this year #why do i do this to myself

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pherryt · 4 years

Note

#9, #10, #24, and #37!

#9 - Which fic has been the hardest to write?

if you wanna know the hardest to write, it would be the one i haven't finished or posted in any way, a story about trans!dean that... might never see the light of day at this point. who knows.

if you want to know the hardest of my published fics, then... i think there'd be a few:

I'm Broken (SPN, Destiel, Ace!Cas)- for emotional reasons.

Broken Angels (Marvel, AmeriWinterWidowHawk) because it's outside certain comfort zones.

Why Not Both? (Star Trek, Multiple Ships) because it changed tone on me while i was writing it and had no idea how to end it. i didn't touch it for a few years before something else inspired me with a fresh perspective.

Unspoken Words (SPN, Destiel) i don't know why. it was just hard and i got stuck and didn't even touch it for several years - until i asked for help and went to reread it to give them notes and my brain went, "Wait, i've got this!" and instead of asking for help on an unfinished wip, i wound up sending a completed first draft.

#10 - Which fic has been the easiest to write?

Strangely, I think Rescue Mission for Two. (SPN, Destiel) I gave myself a deadline of a month to get a completed first draft on that because i was scrapping two other ideas completely for the event i'd signed up for and i wanted to make sure i'd be able to pull it off before i was committed to far into the event. and it just... worked.

other than that, probably... "Not What I Signed Up For" which was a complete accident. As well as a lot of my shorter fics.

#24 - Have you ever deleted one of your published fics?

oh this is probably the easiest question on the list. the answer is no. i am considering deleting certain fics from a specific location, but they're already crossposted.

#37 - Talk about your current wips.

Hmm.... There's Broken Angels which is currently being posted It's AmeriWinterWidowHawk (aka, Steve/Bucky/Nat/Clint) It's a darker (for me) Marvel Au that takes the movie timeline and twists it around with the premise of what if the Avengers never formed after the Battle of New York? I'm rather proud of it, even though i know other writers could probably take it a lot further than i'm going with it, but it is HARD because of the smut that has a more integral part of the story than in most of my others.

There's also Baby Steps - part 3 of my accidental long fic that turned into a series, following Dean/Cas/Benny/Alfie as they navigate a poly relationship - this one is NOT posted yet. I'm about 8 chapters in with bits and pieces of other chapters. the hard part is that this series is also smut heavy compared to my others and 4 people are just so hard to navigate (why do i keep doing this to myself?) so it's been slow going and i don't want to have too many wips being posted at the same time.

I also have 2 MTH (Marvel Trumps Hate) stories I've been plotting out - both Winterhawk - but i don’t think i can really talk about those.

And then I have one i'd LIKE to start but so far I've only been taking notes for that i'm calling the Tale of Two Bartons (also Marvel, also winterhawk... eventually.) where the focus is on Clint and his brother following an idea from a prompt i’d seen on tumblr and putting my own little twist on it

and thats not counting various stories I've had on the backburner for a few years (either i'm stuck, or i don't have time, or they need research) or any of the upcoming bingo fills which i'm TRYING to keep short (but probably will fail, as usual lol)

WHEW! sorry that took so long! But thank you so much for the ask! if you want to know further things about the particular wips, let me know :D

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tintedglasses · 5 years

Text

anna’s fic recs: june 2019 [winterhawk edition]

i accidentally deleted all of the text for this post and was only able to recover the first two, but i tried to remember what i wrote before.

again, these are from fics that i read in june 2019, not ones that necessarily were posted then. (i honestly wish i could rec all the fics i read, but i managed to keep it at eight this time)

1. Liminal Spaces by thepartyresponsible (@thepartyresponsible) (Rated M, 20k)

Summary: “Clint,” Steve says, and it’s that same no-bullshit, do-or-die, I really, really mean it voice he used to trot out in the last few innings of close games in high school. “Bucky’s not gonna fly. He’s not going to drive himself. He can’t— I need you to drive him here.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Clint says, and hangs up.

My review: listen, i have thought about this fic at least once a day since i read it because i love it that much. the plotting of it is so good with how the backstory is woven throughout with increasing detail in an amazing way. it’s about small towns and road trips and shared trauma and meeting people where they’re at and it holds a very special place in my heart. if you haven’t read it, go read it immediately. if you have read it, go read it again.

2. tell me who my mouth was made for by 1000_directions (@1000-directions) (Rated M, 1.5k)

Summary: Clint’s never moved slowly, not one moment of his life. He’s been reckless as long as he can remember, figuring it all out after the fact. He’s never been careful. But Bucky kisses him like he matters, and it changes him. He’s been changing.

“I just want to feel you inside me,” Clint whispers, and it feels like the biggest confession of his life, to need something so fucking badly from someone else and to let them know it.

My review: steph put out like a million amazing fics in the month of june, but this one by far stuck with me the most. when i first read it, i immediately had to go back and re-read it. the way these two love each other actually makes my heart hurt. i always love the way she writes established relationships and how much care her characters have for each other and this is it in top, top form. oh, and also, as a bonus, it’s really hot. EDIT: i just re-read this and i forgot how DREAMY it is. it literally feels like you are floating on a cloud of love and intimacy and I WANT TO CRYYYYY.

3. Ain’t That a Kick in the Head by Finely Honed (@finely-honed) (Rated E, 115k)

Summary: “That guy out there? Lovin’ him is the best part of being alive, Steve. We both know I can be just as stubborn, and maybe twice as oblivious as you. I wanted Clint so bad, for so long, but I was all turned around, and lying to myself, makin’ excuses as to how it was some crazy side effect of spending so much time together. But the truth was? I was scared. It was too big, so I tried like hell to hide from the truth, right up until I went and got blown up. Then it was total fuckin’ clarity time.”

Back before Steve adopted Peter, or Tony walked into SHIELD Tattoo and upended Steve's world, Bucky almost died in Clint's arms. This is the story of what happened after.

Takes place 5 ½ years before Deep in the Heart of Me. While reading that beast will provide a lot of context into the universe, I'm pretty sure this would still make sense solo.

My review: i loved DITHOM so much, so I knew that this was going to be freaking amazing and OH MY GOD, it definitely was. it tackles the really difficult realities of learning to adjust to life with a newfound disability and coping with PTSD symptoms, while still maintaining a lot of humor and love throughout the story. the characters all just feel so real and like they have rich backstories and futures that go beyond what we see here and that’s really great. the secondary characters are also amazing and i love the theme of found family. Bucky and Steve as brothers is always a favorite of mine and this take on it is great because it’s about Bucky learning how to help Steve without sacrificing his own happiness. EVERYONE IS WONDERFULLY FLAWED BUT DOING THEIR BEST. i dunno, i could say a million things about this fic and still have more to say.

4. Lost & Found by mariana_oconnor (@mariana-oconnor) (Rated M, 90k)

Summary: Clint Barton’s got a bag full of stolen money and a burning desire to stay under the radar. His old friends in the Carnival will be looking for him and they sure as hell won’t be happy. In a desperate attempt to stay off their radar, he ends up in Timely, a small town so far off the beaten track he’s surprised he even found it, and waits for Barney to comes and get him. Because Barney will be coming. Clint knows he will.

But there's something about the town. Maybe it's the strange wolf that watches him from the trees, and the way people finish conversations when he enters a room. Or it could be the bartender, Bucky, who decided to hate him on sight. Something’s going on in this small town, and Clint’s not sure if he’s jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire.

My review: i’m not typically into werewolf fics but i AM into grumpy bucky and this fic had it in SPADES. again, all of the characters here are so well developed that it makes for a really great story. like liminal spaces, it also has such a great small town feel and creates this atmosphere where it feels like you really know everyone and what they are about and i LOVE that. this clint is so compassionate and wonderful, too, and i love his relationship with werewolf!bucky in particular <3 it’s a great story about meeting people where they are at and the ending is super great!

5. could never want for more when you’re here by nightwideopen (@nightwideopen) (Rated T, 5.5k)

Summary: “You know I love you, right?”

The casual way Clint lets the declaration loose doesn’t blindside Bucky as much as he thought it would. And maybe Clint means it mostly platonically but his eyes are shining and Bucky really doesn’t care. He loves him, too.

It’s easy. It’s inevitable. It’s like breathing.

My review: ACE CLINT!!!!!! i was so excited to see someone write an ace!clint fic, especially during pride month, and this one is so good! it’s so, so soft and i love the way that bucky and clint navigate intimacy in a way that honors their boundaries. bucky has some insecurities and sometimes they don’t communicate well but at the end of the day, they are so gentle with each other and really just want to give each other what they want and it’s SO LOVELY.

6. Pretty When You Cry by dr_girlfriend (@drgrlfriend) (Rated E, 3.5k)

Summary: “Someone hurt you, Clint?”

It’s so surprising Clint almost spills his drink on the way to his mouth. Maybe not so much the question, because much as he’s trying to hide it Clint probably does look beat to hell, but more the soft, gentle way the guy asks it. Like he really cares about the answer. Cares about Clint.

For a moment Clint feels himself teetering on the edge — the horrors of the mission clogging up his throat as if they are going to come spilling out in a tearful confession to the first fucking stranger who’d asked.

He claws it back, biting his tongue hard to keep it still. He smiles instead, even though he’s sure the smile comes out a little twisted.

“Not as much as I hurt ‘em back,” he finally says, and that’s just enough truth to settle his stomach a little.

Bucky nods as if that’s good enough for him, and takes a long, thoughtful pull of his beer. Clint watches his throat work, the way those plush lips wrap around the bottle. He hopes to hell he hasn’t blown this already.

Bucky wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and sets his empty bottle deliberately on the bar. “Okay,” he says. “You got a place?”

My review: the MFD crymaxer prompt graced us with some wonderfully hot yet emotional fics and this is absolutely 100% one of them. this is another fic about meeting people where they are at and accepting them for who they are, and it’s really beautiful. i love how both of them are kind of rough around the edges but are also really soft with each other. also, it’s SMOKING hot, so that’s an added bonus.

7. if god is in the lens by shatteredhourglass (@shatteredhourglass) (Rated E, 40k)

Summary: The Asset pauses. He remembers the first few days after dragging St- dragging Captain America out of the water, the aimless emptiness that had filled him, with no mission and no knowledge of what to do next. He’d spent a week staring at the peeling wallpaper in a motel. There had been butterflies patterned on it. He hadn’t known what direction to go in next, because he was (is) scared of Captain America, and he didn’t want anything to do with Hydra, and he’d just… stopped. That’s when he realizes Barton isn’t going to move unless he gives the man a reason to move, something to do that isn’t related to a past he can’t remember or the threat of imminent death. (It’s been burned out of him, the Asset can relate.)

A mission.

He's leaning on the button to the microphone before he thinks about it. “Come with me and you can kill more of them.”

My review: i LOVE a good recovery arc and this one has TWO! it’s two murderbros learning how to be human again and falling in love along the way (WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT???). i really enjoyed all of the plotting and the action in this fic, too. i felt like i was on the edge of my seat all the way til the end, trying to figure out what the characters were going to do. just really good stuff here!!!

8. bent by jstabe (@jstabe) (Rated E, 3k)

Summary: “My name is James Buchanan Barnes.”

He felt Clint’s lips curl up where they were resting at his temple. “Yes.”

“I am an Avenger.” Which was frankly ridiculous and impossible to believe sometimes, but it was true so it went on the list.

My review: SOFT BOYFRIENDS, SOFT BOYFRIENDS, SOFT BOYFRIENDS! i love everything about this fic. as you can see by this list, i love soft boys who are working through trauma together and this is it!!!! they are so freaking domestic and lovely and they make each other laugh and they care about each other so much that it makes my heart want to explode. THEY HAVE A HEATED MATTRESS TOPPER BECAUSE BUCKY GETS COLD. I LOVE THEM.

#fic rec post #monthly fic rec #marvel fic #winterhawk #long post #i feel like i was lacking energy on this second go around #but i love these fics a lot #so you should read them #also i am going to do a post with other ships later #but i am tired

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