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pastel-odette · 3 years

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Revenge- A Banana Fish Fanfiction

This is a fic written for @emi-joanna. Sorry it took so long, I started work and college this past month. I hope it's as angsty as you requested!

(tws are properly tagged as tw _____)

“Eiji! Hurry up! We’re gonna be late!”

Eiji came rushing out of the house, locking up before making his way to the car. “What took you so long?” Aslan asked. Eiji opened up his satchel to reveal various snacks and sweets. “I had to grab the essentials,” he said with a smile. Aslan chuckled. “You really think we’re gonna need them?” “Yes!! During last year’s shrine visit you whined and whined about being hungry, so this time I thought I’d come prepared.” “How do you even remember that?” “Magic, my love. Now enough questions! Let’s go already!” It had been seven years since the couple had moved to Izumo. The first year had been the toughest. Despite being months out of the hospital, Aslan had still been reeling from the attack from Lao. The realization that even after Dino was dead, even after he thought he was finally free, someone still wanted to kill him had hit him extremely hard. He had felt foolish for thinking he would ever be anything other than what Dino made him. To hunt and be hunted, was that really all there was left for him? He had almost wished he hadn’t survived. He didn’t even understand why he survived in the first place.

The decision to move to Japan with Eiji did not come easy. Almost every part of him was screaming at him to abandon that hope that he could ever have a normal life. The physical distance made it seem more unattainable, too. However, Eiji was persistent. He would text every day, and call as much as he could. He was determined to make sure Aslan saw their original plan to move to Japan through.

Eventually, Aslan caved in. He said goodbye to New York, and started a new life with his soulmate. It wasn’t until he laid in bed that night, Eiji sleeping peacefully next to him, that what he did hit him all at once. An entirely new country with nothing to protect himself with.

For a while, they stayed at the Okumura family house. Eiji’s father was still in the hospital as he learned, so it was just the two of them, Eiji’s mother, and his sister. He felt surprisingly welcomed, like he was truly part of the family. It was strange to him to meet people so truly kind and hospitable upon first meeting. It wasn’t long until it started to feel like home.

But it still didn’t feel safe. He would lay awake at night, Eiji beside him, terrified of every little noise he heard. On the rare occasions where he did sleep, he would have terrible nightmares, and when he would jolt awake he would reach for a gun that wasn’t there.

The Okumuras noticed how fidgety and cautious he was. So, they installed a security system in their house. They did everything, big and small, to help him adjust to this new life. When Aslan and Eiji moved out into their own house, they took a lot of these things with them. The security system, the protective charms, the little statues of gods that could protect them. It stunned Aslan how… good he felt to be living this life.

Izumo is where Aslan had found peace and happiness. “We’re here,” Aslan said.

They made their way through the rows of trees together, surrounded by other people also dressed for the chilly weather. Some wore their traditional kimonos, some wore more casual winter clothes. As they approached the torii gates they saw a familiar person standing there. “Mari!” Eiji shouted as he waved to his sister. She waved back as she walked up and gave them both a tight hug. “How are your studies going?” Aslan asked with a soft smile. “Well, just as tough as last year. But I’m glad to finally be visiting again!” She beamed.

When Aslan moved to Japan, Mari was right there alongside Eiji to greet him. She was thrilled to meet him, and sympathetic when she realized Aslan had lived a much different life than her and her brother. It wasn’t long until she felt like his own sister. When she moved to Tokyo for college, he nearly cried with how proud he was.

“You’re not wearing mom’s kimono this year,” Eiji pointed out.

Usually, Mari would wear a deep blue kimono with a stunningly complex design depicting a soaring phoenix and a gold-colored obi. It was passed down through many generations until it was owned by their mother, and now her. Now she was wearing a pale yellow kimono with a much simpler chrysanthemum pattern and pink obi with a chrysanthemum obidome to match. Mari gave a sad smile. “It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while. I just didn’t want something so… connected to her anymore. So my friends took me shopping and I found this. Don’t worry though, I didn’t throw away the other one or anything. It’s still in my closet.” “I think it looks good. Suits you,” said Aslan. Eiji nodded his head. This time, Mari beamed.

Being the very first day of the New Year, the temple was crowded with all sorts of people. The chozuya was completely packed, and it took them a few minutes before they were able to purify their hands. Ash always wondered if his hands could ever be truly pure, but he tried not to think about that as he poured the water. It was supposed to be a day of celebration and good luck. He didn’t want his thoughts to ruin that.

Every year, Aslan wished to the gods for protection. Protection from violence, from grief, from assault, from everything that made his life miserable for so long. This year was no different. However, there was something else this year he needed extra luck for. He prayed for that too.

Next, they went to exchange their omamori. Aslan chose the protection charm, as he did every year, and Mari chose the education charm. Usually, Eiji would get the protection charm just as Aslan did. This time he chose the success charm. “What goal do you want to be successful?” Mari asked.

“This year, I’m determined to have my own photo gallery.” It was a goal he had for a while, but this year he was going to have the luck of the gods on his side.

Finally, they needed to pull their o-mikuji.

“I’m a little nervous,” Mari jokes. Most of the time she had negative fortunes. However, this year, she would apparently have a future blessing (and small luck in her romantic relationships). Aslan was given half-blessing with lots of luck in travel. Then it was Eiji’s turn.

“Curse…”

“Well, it could be worse,” Aslan said, “at least you’re not super-mega-cursed.”

Eiji just sighed and folded up the paper.

“You’re not gonna read the rest of it?” “Nah. Not really a point.”

As they left the shrine, Eiji trailed behind and sulked.

Aslan gave Mari a nudge.

“You talk to him, you're the psychology major. I’m no good at this stuff.”

Mari nodded and went to walk beside Eiji.

“Listen, if it’s just a regular curse, I don’t think you have anything to worry about. It’s mostly just little everyday inconveniences. The worst I’ve experienced with just a regular curse is that really bad breakup I had with Yui.” “With who??” “Hush, Aslan, this isn’t about you. Anyways, I don’t think you have anything to really worry about.”

When they get to the parking lot, they have to part ways. Mari made plans to go visit some of her old friends, and Aslan and Eiji had to return home, as they were going to host dinner that night.

When Aslan and Eiji arrived home, they were greeted by a very excitable golden retriever. They had gotten him about a year ago, when he was just a year old, from a local shelter. Even then, he still acted a little bit like a puppy.

“Hey, Bud,” Aslan said as he knelt down to pet Buddy. The dog jumped up to lick his face.

“Should we start dinner now?” Eiji asked as he put down his stuff and made his way to the kitchen.

“You can. Might as well. Just in case someone comes early or something.”

“You can’t just spend all afternoon petting Buddy, you know.” “I know, I know! I’ll help you in a minute.”

Buddy didn’t seem to mind all the extra attention he was getting, though. But eventually, Aslan had to go help his partner.

“Alright, so what’s the plan?” asked Aslan as he put on his apron. He didn’t always help in the kitchen, his skill level was limited to basic survival foods, but over the years he got better and better at it. It felt very domestic, to cook alongside someone.

“How about you start on the datemaki? I’ll make the ramen.”

Aslan nodded, and they both started getting their ingredients. The kitchen was large enough that they could work around each other comfortably, and it wasn’t long until the kitchen started to smell delicious. Buddy noticed this, and trotted over to beg for treats.

“I have nothing for you,” Aslan said. Still, Buddy sat beside him, wagging his tail and giving him an expectant look. Aslan tried to ignore him as he started to whine, focusing on mixing the ingredients together.

“Here, Buddy!” Eiji called the dog, waving a large bone. Buddy instantly jumped up and ran over, wagging his tail furiously. Eiji then gave him the bone, which Buddy took to the living room happily.

“There we go, that’ll keep him occupied,” Eiji smiled. Aslan couldn’t help but smile back.

They continued cooking nonstop into the evening. As time went on, the more dishes they completed, and the more it started to look like a full meal. However, they were still pretty far from done.

Aslan sighed as he stretched. There was enough time to just take a tiny little break, he thought. He leaned against the counter and looked over at Eiji. His partner seemed distracted by something as he stared off into space.

“Hey.”

“Ah!” Eiji jumped, fumbling the bag of flour he was holding before dropping it on the counter.

“Ohhh no!” he exclaimed. Aslan chuckled slightly before helping his partner clean up the mess.

“Looks like your bad luck has officially begun.”

“Don’t even joke about that!” Eiji said as he smacked the other with a floured towel. Ash looked down at his arm then back up at Eiji with a smile.

“Really? You wanna start this?” He dipped his thumb in the flour before smudging it across Eiji’s cheek.

“You’re on!”

And that’s how it started, a full-blown flour war.

Nothing was spared. Flour was thrown, smudged, and flew everywhere. The counters, the floor, their clothes, their skin, their hair and skin, all of it was covered in at least a thin layer of flour.

It was stupid, it was childish, they had wasted an entire bag just making everything dirty. But they didn’t care. It was fun. They were having fun and messing around together. At that moment, they weren’t thinking about having to clean up and get back to cooking, they just thought about each other.

The couple just laid on the floor together as Buddy sniffed around them before licking Aslan in the face.

“No, Buddy!” Aslan squealed, pushing Buddy’s face away. The dog just wagged his tail as his owners helped each other up.

“You’re a mess,” Eiji laughed.

“Speak for yourself! You’re even dirtier than me! Go take a shower, I’ll clean this all up.”

Eiji kissed Aslan’s floured cheek before going to wash himself and his clothes.

Once everything was all clean, both of them included, they had to work faster in order to get everything done by the time their guests would arrive. Occasionally, though, they would look over at each other, and laugh silently before getting back to work.

Eventually, they had a complete New Year’s Day dinner. Eiji set the table while Aslan arranged the food into the boxes.

“Well, I’d say it looks pretty good,” Aslan said.

“We make a pretty good team!” Eiji shouted from the dining room.

When everything was all set for their guests to arrive, they high-fived to celebrate their hard work. It was the first time they cooked for New Year’s all on their own, and it was the first time they would be hosting.

The first to arrive were Ibe and his wife, Namiko. They met shortly after he returned to Japan, and she was a very kind woman, the kind that got along with all her neighbors and would check in on them from time to time. The couple greeted their hosts warmly with hugs and a bottle of sake.

Buddy was thrilled to have guests, and quickly ran over to receive pets from two of his many favorite humans.

It wasn’t much longer after that when Mari arrived, and the party officially started. Chatter filled the house as they ate. They talked about everything that had happened during the past year, everything they accomplished, and everything they hoped to accomplish this year.

“Well, I have no complaints,” Ibe said, “We traveled a lot this year for work.”

“It was great! So many fun new places we visited,” Namiko said.

“Mine was just another normal year of classes. I made a new group of friends, and they’re really great," Mari said through a mouthful of food.

“We adopted our dog,” Eiji beamed. Buddy was resting in the living room. After a while of whining for food, he had finally given up, and they knew if they mentioned him by name he would come over and start begging again.

The party went on late into the night as they continued to chat and drink. Everyone’s spirits couldn’t be higher as they celebrated the past and welcomed in the future, giving a toast for good luck. Eventually, though, the night had to end. They said their goodbyes to each other, and the guests went home, leaving Aslan and Eiji to clean up.

Aslan felt content as he washed the dishes. It was a great night, surrounded by people he loved. Seven years in Japan. He hadn’t felt like Ash Lynx in so long. He felt like he had control over his life.

A partner, a house, a dog, a legal job, friends, a little sister. The old ladies on his street fawned over him as if he was free from sin. The local coffee shop knew his face and order by heart. Nobody feared him, they were all friendly towards him, and treated him as if he really was normal.

Oftentimes it felt unreal. But as he sat on the couch, Eiji nestled into his side, he knew it was.

“Thank you,” Eiji murmured.

“For what?”

“For helping out today. For everything you do. You’re so good to me.”

Aslan smiled softly.

“I should be the one saying that to you.”

“How about we’re both good to each other?”

“Yeah,” Aslan whispered, “I can agree with that.”

The next few days of the New Year were spent with Mari. The plan was for her to go back to Tokyo on the fourth, when the holiday was over, so they wanted as much time with her as they could.

During the Japanese New Year, businesses are closed for the next three days. They couldn't go to restaurants, shops, or the market. So mostly, they just spent time at Aslan and Eiji’s house. Watching TV, playing board games, and video games on the SNES they got a few years back. They could also go to the beach.

Izumo was a coastal town, with cliff sides to the north, and a long, thin strip of beach to the west. When the three of them stepped out of the car, they were glad they brought thick coats, as there was a cold breeze.

“Come on Buddy!” Eiji said as he opened the car door. The dog jumped out of the car, wagging his tail happily.

The beach was an important place in Izumo, something Aslan had learned shortly after he moved. On the northern shore of the beach, there was a very large rock with a small shrine on top, too high for humans to reach. Every October, the gods would come to Izumo, and convene at the beach and its shrine.

Aside from it being a spiritual place, the beach was also just beautiful. It reminded Aslan of when he was younger, when he and Griffin would run across the sand and splash in the waves. Sometimes, when he and Eiji would take a walk along the beach, they would see children or a family, and he would feel a bit of nostalgia.

Now, he walked this beach with his new family.

It was late in the afternoon, and the sun was low in the sky. They were only planning for it to be a relatively short walk, and would return to the car not long after the sun fully set. It was just nice to get some fresh air.

The trio walked in silence, aside from Buddy’s pants, until Aslan broke it.

“You know, Mari, you got a pretty interesting fortune this year,” he said.

Eiji caught on to what he meant. “Yeah! Are you excited for it?”

“For the future fortune? I guess so. It’s better than I get most years,” she said.

“No no, I mean about your romance fortune,” Aslan smiled.

Mari became slightly flustered, glaring at the couple. They just laughed in response.

“You should really get back out there again,” Eiji teased, “You’re not still heartbroken over Yui are you?”

Mari lightly punched her brother in the side.

“Of course not! That was the beginning of high school! Butt out of my love life!”

“But you, dear sister, are the one that butted into my love life when I went to America.”

“I shall have you know, dear brother, that I have matured since then. Besides, the charm I gave you worked, didn’t it?”

Eiji looked over at Aslan with a smile and squeezed his hand.

“Yeah. It did.”

The sun had begun to set at this point, halfway across the horizon. It was a beautiful sight, soft pinks and reds across the sky. The three stopped to admire it, Buddy sitting beside them.

“I think this is a moment worth capturing,” Eiji said. He got the polaroid camera from around his neck. They all posed close together, Aslan picking up Buddy so he could be in the shot, with the sunset in the background.

“Smile!”

Click.

The photo printed slowly, and Eiji shook it so it could develop faster.

It showed the four of them, happy in smiling, in the place they loved so much. They waited for the sun to set fully before returning home.

Instantly, the photo went up on their wall.

Unfortunately, the fourth eventually came, and Mari had to leave. At the train station, they said their goodbyes.

“Be sure to write!” Eiji said as she waved.

“I always do!”

With that, the train doors closed, and she left Izumo. Since it was the first day of the new year that businesses were open, Aslan decided he might as well go run some errands.

“See you at home,” he said as he pecked Eiji on the cheek.

“Mhm, see you.” Eiji waved goodbye to him.

The first stop was the coffee shop. Why not, right? It was a very cozy little shop and the majority of the patrons were locals and regulars. When the barista noticed him, he smiled.

“The usual?”

Aslan nodded, and the barista got to work. The coffee shop was relatively small compared to those in America, and it was warmly lit. As Aslan sat at the counter watching the barista he felt the chill of the mid-winter weather.

“Here’s your coffee,” the barista said as he placed the mug in front of Aslan. Most people see Aslan as the type of person to drink straight black coffee. And for a while, he was. As soon as he was “old enough” to drink coffee, he would drink it without sugar or creamer. It fit the persona he had and made him seem more mature to those around him. Now he didn’t care about any of that. He made his coffee super sweet. Tons of sugar, tons of creamer, because that was the way he actually liked it.

Usually, he would take the time to stay and chat with the barista for a bit. He was a funny and friendly guy, most of the reason Aslan liked this coffee shop in particular. However, today he had the odd urge to get home as much as possible. Maybe it was just because of the chill, he thought.

The next stop was the grocery store. They only really needed things to replace what they had used to cook dinner on New Years, including the flour that they had wasted.

He absentmindedly went through the small store until a voice called out to him from behind.

“My dear Aslan!”

He turned around to see his neighbor, Mrs. Tanaka. She was an old woman, kind as can be like almost everyone else in the neighborhood, who loved to garden in her front lawn and chat him up whenever she saw him. Aslan greeted her back and smiled.

“How have you been? How’s Eiji? Did you have a good new year?”

“Everything is good. How was your trip?”

The two chatted for a bit, catching up on things that happened since the last time they talked. Most of his neighbors he could strike up a conversation with just like this. It was the kind of neighborhood he could see himself and Eiji growing old in. It was a weird thought, to grow old with someone in a small town, but it was right.

They said their goodbyes, and Aslan continued shopping as normal.

When Aslan came home, the front door was unlocked. Huh. Maybe Eiji just forgot. However, when he opened the door, he was met with a horrible sight.

There lay Buddy, unmoving, in a pool of blood.

Aslan dropped his bags and rushed to his dear pet. He picked him up gently as tears began to fall.

How did this even happen? When? Why wasn’t he here to stop it?

That’s when he saw it. The wound on Buddy’s neck. A bullet wound. Someone… shot Buddy. There was no way. He was supposed to be safe in Japan. He was supposed to be safe with Eiji. Eiji... “Eiji!” he shouted. No response. He shouted again. The house was silent. Aslan gently placed down Buddy’s body. He had to make sure Eiji was okay. Eiji had to be okay, right?

Aslan crept through the house silently, listening for any sounds that might lead him towards Eiji or the intruder. As he approached the kitchen, he saw a pot on the stove bubbling over, so he turned off the stove. This whole thing must have happened fairly recently. A knife was also missing from the drawer.

Finally, he made his way to the bedroom.

What he saw terrified him.

Eiji. Sprawled across the floor, next to the open closet doors as if he had been pulled out, a knife in his hand. A bullet in his forehead. His eyes were wide open, and his cheeks were stained with tears.

Ash fell to his knees. This couldn’t be happening. Eiji couldn’t be dead. He was dreaming, he was hallucinating, this was some kind of joke. What separated him from his old life now? What stopped him from being Ash Lynx again?

Ash sobbed, and sobbed and sobbed. His love had been murdered. The bastard shot his dog, too. Why? He didn’t do anything. Neither of them did anything. It wasn’t fair.

He reached into the closet and pulled out a small box. Inside was a silver engagement ring. He picked up Eiji’s greying, cold hand and slipped the ring onto his finger.

“I know that we could never get married legally. But I still wanted to think of you as my husband. After all we had been through, didn’t we deserve that much?”

Eiji didn’t respond. His glossed-over eyes stared at nothing. Ash closed them.

“My soul will always be with you.”

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This might turn into a chaptered fic

Thank you to @syanara for betaing!

Tag list: @mycatshuman

#banana fish #banana fish fanfiction #ash lynx #aslan jade callenreese #eiji okumura #tw death #tw murder #tw guns #tw animal death #tw dog death

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thatasianstereotype · 4 years

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Shit. I Got To Deal With This Bitch (Again).

The third installment of my Adrien x Damian AU.

First: Fuck. I’m Gay.

Second: Damn, You’re Looking Fine.

Well, would you look at that? I’m not dead after all. And this took a while to put together understatement of the fucking century. The reason is because life is a busy little shit the English language will not cooperate. I’m thinking of a scene I want to write and somehow words are lost in translating that into the computer and I end up with a white blank screen in the end.

But moving on to the fic. At first, I was going to have the whole Gabriel-being-put-in-jail and former-friends-thing put as an aftermath because I really wanted to write Marinette and Adrien meeting the Waynes. But I decided to make the aftermath a full-blown fic from @michaelshadow7779′s ideas and extend the trilogy into a four-part series.

This part will be focused on what happened to Liar-la, Ms. Bustier’s class trying to gain back their friendship with Marinette and Adrien, and Gabriel getting a special visit from both Robin and Ladybug.

Again, this is a crack writing where creative liberties were definitely taken.

Lila Rossi is a fucking bitch and everyone —Like everyone this time— knew it.

Her reputation was now in shambles (she’s now known as that pathological liar or that lying bitch) and Ms. Bustier’s class could only stare at her with hatred and anger —feelings that were once directed at Marinette.

No one entertained her lies anymore. No one really hung out with her anymore. She sat at the back of the class, staring daggers at both Adrien and Marinette all day (just wishing for an akuma that will never appear).

Unfortunately for her, Lila couldn’t transfer out of class and with only 2 more months of the school year left, she couldn’t transfer out of school so she was stuck dealing with the consequences of her actions: being a fucking social outcast.

Because the class was not at all happy with their supposed friend. Tensions ran high during school. Things took a turn for the worse when Ms. Bustier tried to “fix” things in her own way, mentioning how the only reason Lila lied was because of her “disease” and the girl simply wanted to make friends.

Needless to say, the class did not appreciate their teacher making them out to be fools all this time.

It was Alya who ripped her a new one. Césaire definitely has a set of lungs on her. And Adrien would be lying if he didn’t say how utterly satisfying it was to watch.

Karma was a bitch.

Payback was a bitch.

And Adrien was fucking living in the aftermath. He wondered if it was mean (probably but he didn’t care) that he wished he had popcorn right now.

All in all, life returned back to normal.

Well, kind of.

Unfortunately, with the 2 months left in the school year, Ms. Bustier couldn’t exactly be let go because apparently Mr. Damocles didn’t want to deal with the whole paperwork, trying to find a new teacher to replace her, and dealing with the so-called Akuma class.

That fucker.

So essentially, he left her at the mercy of her unhappy class, saying she will be let go at the end of the school year.

Ms. Bustier was unhappy with the arrangement. The class was unhappy with it too. Probably even more so. Since they still got to deal with Rossi’s bitch ass on a daily basis.

The remaining 2 months of school were spent in a passive-aggressive war. Teacher vs. Students. Where technically the teacher should be respected and they should learn from her but the class was unleashing their collective pettiness.

And Caline Bustier was fucking done with this job. She wanted to go back in time to when she thought being a teacher was a good idea and shake her past self silly. At this point, she was just counting the days until she can leave for good.

“Kim. That’s the third time you slept in class this week. If you don’t pay attention, you won’t pass the test next week.”

“Hold up. I got to ask the certified pathological liar where I put all the fucks I give.”

“Ok. Don’t forget to ask Marinette if you can actually trust her answer.”

It was glorious.

Adrien and Marinette were definitely enjoying the show.

Marinette put down her sketchbook and stared at Damian for a minute. “You’ve been here for a month and a half already. Are you still doing business for your dad?”

Damian Wayne became a common sight around Françoise Dupont High School and can usually be seen around Adrien and Marinette. After a week of constantly seeing him hang around lunch or in after school activities/clubs, seeing a Wayne soon lost its novelty and people accepted it as the new norm.

“I’m already done with what I need to do at WE’s Paris branch.” He casually plucked flowers from the ground to make a crown for his mon amour who was happily chatting with Luka and Kagami.

“So why are you still here? Don’t you have your own education to finish?”

“My schooling is of no concern. I already earned my diploma a few months ago. It was not at all difficult when I’m already light years ahead of my peers in regards to the dismal educational system my Father forced me to attend."

She raised an unamused eyebrow. “Uh huh. And your family isn’t worried at all about you, a minor, being in a foreign country all by yourself?”

“They know I’m here. I already informed Father that I will be extending my stay here.”

“And he just accepted it? Just like that?”

"I’m responsible enough to handle myself. I surely do not need Batman watching over me. And you don’t need to worry at all. I’ve been away from home for far longer.”

“You’re completely missing the point.”

“On the contrary, I thought I answered the question perfectly.”

When they weren’t playing a petty war with Bustier, the class was trying to get back into Marinette and Adrien’s good graces by inviting them to everything and trying to include the pair in their lives again. They wanted to be friends with their Everyday Ladybug and Sunshine Child again.

“Want to do homework together?”

“How about a study session?”

“We’re having a sleepover at Juleka’s place, Marinette. We can talk about each other’s love lives like the good old times.”

“Wanna see the new movie that came out, Adrien? I’ll even pay for your favorite snacks.”

“Come on you two. Let’s hang out in the park. We can get Andre’s ice cream too. It’ll be fun.”

Spoiler alert: It don’t work. At all.

“Hey Marinette, Adrien! Why don’t you sit with us today?” Alya eagerly waved at them from where she was sitting with Nino.

It was a part of a long list of efforts that the class is trying to include the pair in. And it would be nice if it was just to be nice and friendly, you know. Adrien wasn’t going to be outright mean to them even though they fucking deserve it after how they treated the beautiful and kind goddess that was Marinette because Mari asked him to “Play nice, kitty”.

But the class kept trying to slide the whole Liar-la thing under the rug as if it was nothing. As if they didn’t shit all over their good name for a two-faced bitch. As if they had no part in making them feel like outcasts just weeks before. As if they didn’t called them hateful names or gave them scornful glares.

And that’s just fucking wrong. Because it wasn’t nothing. And they weren’t good pals anymore. So stop fucking acting like it.

Adrien was so done with his former friends/classmates. Marinette even more so.

Because apparently, saying “Yeah, We want nothing to do with you anymore.” is not fucking clear enough that the pair wanted nothing to do with their former friends.

Like what the actual fuck.

Luckily, Mari can sense her kitty’s bad mood and quickly laid a hand on his arm and led them to their seats in the middle row since Liar-la took the back and they will be damned if they sit next to her.

Alya was utterly aghast. She and the others were trying their best to have things be back to where they were before. Doesn’t Marinette and Adrien want things to be like they were before? When everyone was friends and they were making happy memories together?

Why won’t they accept their olive branch? They’ll be friends again and everything will be okay just like it was before Lila came.

Let it be known that Alya Césaire was not a patient person. Like at all.

She was fuming (like you could see the smoke coming out of her ears) as she walked up to Marinette’s desk, just bursting at the seams with frustration. “I don’t get it. Why are you so cosy with Adrien instead of us? Did you forget he supported Lila too?

“That was—” Marinette spoke up in defense of her everything-that-actually-matters brother.

But Alya ignored her and bulldozed right over, slamming her hands down on her desk. “Yeah. He changed his mind later on but the point still stands that he was on Lila’s side just like us so why are you willing to be friends with him but not me and Nino? We were best buds.”

“Adrien was friends with Lila unwillingly, unlike you guys. His douchebag of a father wanted him to play nice with that harlot for some reason and he had to go along with it or risk being pulled out of school.”

Alya rolled her eyes (She literally rolled her eyes at that) before crossing her arms in front of her chest. “Please. That’s probably a pretty little excuse he gave you be on your good side again. We all know Gabriel will never actually do it.”

“Are you perhaps referring to the man who rejected the idea of a birthday part for his own son or makes Adrien attend constant photo shoots and a crazy schedule to follow that makes it hard for him to hang out with his friends regularly. That Gabriel?”

At that, Alya faltered a bit as she uncrossed her arms.

“Look, Alya. I’m fine with being friendly classmates but I’m not going to be your friend again.”

And Alya —who wanted things to just be okay again and wanted to go back to being Marinette’s best friend, who was tired of days trying to put so much effort into being Marinette’s best gal again only to be rejected every single time— just let whatever came into her mind to slip out of her mouth. She didn’t watch what she said next and in doing so burnt the last bridge she ever had to Marinette.

“Maybe Lila was actually right for once when she said the only reason you’re close to Adrien was to use him to get ahead in the fashion industry.”

Oh shit.

She really done did it now.

It was at this point that Marinette’s infinite patience and kindness snapped. Adrien scooted his chair back a bit to get out of the crossfire. He’s a dumbass kitty but he still has self-preservation.

The grip on her pencil tightened as her eyes narrowed and grew darker, her voice ice cold.

“You were the one who decided we were done being friends, Césaire.”

Alya was taken aback, frozen at the biting harshness Marinette directed at her. Whatever comeback she had died in her throat.

Mari let out a deep breath and her voice was back to neutral. “Look. Maybe someday in the future we can be friends again. But not right now. Please respect my decision.”

And that was the end of that.

Well kind of.

Because the ice queen treatment didn’t deter her at all. Alya still persistently tried to get Marinette to be friends with her again until Nino pulled her away and forced her to stop it with her ridiculous antics which aren’t working.

The rest of their former friends now classmates got the message and left the pair alone. They were friendly and cordial with each other as common courtesy dictate but they had no interaction beyond that. They were nowhere near as close as they once were before Liar-la happened.

Anyway, school went back to normal. Well as normal as it could be with all the recent changes.

Nothing was as it was before.

And Marinette and Adrien were fine with that.

Mari was hanging out with Aurore and Mireille for the afternoon so Damian and Adrien had Mari’s room all to themselves. They were currently playing video games.

And although the Wayne boy was the perfect gentleman who doesn’t let his hormones rule over common courtesy and a proper courtship, Plagg was there to supervise the lovebirds (with a boatload of cheese to keep him company of course).

He likes to think of himself as laid back and chill who cares deeply about his kittens. And Adrien is a pure innocent little bean.

Don’t get him wrong. He does like Wayne as a person. The kid’s attitude and personality is a fun riot to witness. But the major plus is how it is beyond obvious Wayne adores and cares greatly about Adrien. He is a good boyfriend to his chaotic gay sunshine baby.

But after all the shit and drama that went down with his scumbag of a dad, Plagg was just feeling a tad protective of his kitty.

Just a tad.

They have been dating for close to a month now. He wonders if they are going to do a one-month anniversary. Is that excessive? Or was that normal? But Adrien still can’t get over how he landed such a hot and amazing guy as a beau.

If only he could go back in time to visit his insecure and confused little self and reassure him that they had game all along.

“Fuck. I lost.”

Dami smirked. “That makes it 7 to 5 in my favor.”

“I don’t care if you’re drop dead gorgeous. I’ll beat your pretty face in the next round.”

Hot-And-Sexy had an amused grin on his face. “I love you too, babe.”

Marinete and Damian are finally making a plan to get Hawk Moth to answer for his crimes. Needless to say, they have their differences on how to handle Gabriel Agreste.

“I vote to have Hawk Moth taste my blade.”

“We’re not killing Adrien’s dad no matter how much he deserves it.”

“I can get away with it.”

“So can I. But murder is still illegal.”

Naturally, discussing how to confront Gabriel and coming with a good solid plan that satisfies both teenagers took some time.

Adrien entered Mari’s room, humming a bit as he carried a tray filled with homemade snacks. He perked up seeing his two favorite people in the world getting along so well.

“Hey guys! What are you up to?”

Damian and Marinette glanced at each other for a split second. They didn’t want their Chaton to worry about Hawk Moth so they didn’t share any specifics.

It was Dami who spoke up. “We are discussing the legalities of assassination.”

Mari facepalmed.

Luckily, Adrien was a pure oblivious child. “That’s nice, babe.”

With all the strange things he’s seen (namely, the Miraculous and getting powers from tiny little talking animals), Gabriel will like to say he shouldn’t be surprised.

But he was.

Luckily, he had enough self-control to not show his surprise in an obvious way, just a raised eyebrow towards the two superheroes standing in the middle of his office.

“To what do I owe the pleasure, Mademoiselle Ladybug and Monsieur Robin?” Pleasant and neutral.

Ladybug he can kind of understand her presence. He is a supervillain after all. Wait. Maybe ex-supervillain now. Because he hasn’t been doing villain things for a while now since he misplaced Nooroo’s brooch and couldn’t find it no matter how many boxes of unsold Miraculous replicas he went through. And he went through a lot (that is not an understatement). Amazing how much free time he has when he isn’t stalking on the watch for negative feelings.

But what was Robin doing here? He wasn’t aware the Gotham sidekick was in Paris in the first place.

“We are aware of your alter ego, Hawk Moth.”

He sighed internally. This wasn’t going to end well. But he hasn’t gotten this far by bowing down easily.

“Just because I am a genius recluse does not mean I have supervillain tendencies.”

Ladybug was unimpressed as she crossed her arms and stare at him with a deadpan look. “But you do have supervillain tendencies. I have yours and Nathalie’s miraculous who told us all about your plans.”

Huh, no wonder he couldn’t find them.

But anyway, the gig was up. Nooroo and Duusu were very emotional blabbermouths. The main reason why he couldn’t let them out of his sight —besides needing them to transform into bad guys of course.

“Then you know I had a good reason why I became Hawk Moth.”

“To bring your wife back. Yes, I am aware of your ‘master’ plan.”

Maybe he can appeal to their sympathy. After all, heroes got to have empathy, right? “It was for Adrien’s sake to have his family back together.”

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say.

Because next thing he knew he had a razor sharp sword against his neck. He didn’t even see Robin move.

“Do not speak of his name, you traitor scum.” The Gotham hero growled. “How dare you preach about your son’s happiness when you are the one who have been neglecting him for the past years. Do not say you care for the boy when you never once showed an ounce of love towards him.”

Why is Robin so protective towards Adrien? Do they know each other well?

But Gabriel’s questions were immediately banished to the back of his mind. Because right now, he was righteously fearing for his life. Prison sounded better than death. He glanced towards Ladybug. He knew she, at least, wouldn’t let him die. She was the picture perfect hero after all.

Who was facepalming at the situation. “For the last time, we are not killing Agreste.”

Unfortunately, Robin did not remove the sword. “And as I keep saying, no one will have to know.”

“I will. I am literally standing right here as a witness.”

“You may look away if you are squeamish.”

“...That’s not the problem.” It was time for Ladybug to pull out the big guns. “And if you go through with this, you will make your boyfriend cry and he will no longer want to date you.”

It took a few seconds but Robin eventually lowered the sword and addressed Gabriel. “Do not presume that because you have no received death today that you do not deserve it. The only reason why your guts have not decorated this room is because I do not wish to make my mon amour shed tears for such a despicable man.”

Ladybug spoke up next. “We are going to report you to the authorities. Robin and I have enough evidence to put you away for life.”

To live for another day, Gabriel makes the smart choice of quickly surrendering right then and there.

“Mon amour, I come bearing both good and bad news.”

Adrien looked at Dami confused. “Okay? What’s the bad news?”

“Your sister have unfortunately stopped my attempt to slay your wicked father.”

Aww.

Adrien’s squishy little heart filled with endearing fondness at how much Hot-And-Sexy cared about him.

“Killing my father isn’t worth going to jail, Dami. I’m sure you can pull off orange but Mari will probably bar me from ever visiting you to teach you a lesson.”

He considered that for a moment. “That is true. Marinette is a frightening terror.”

“She’s the greatest thing to happen to me.”Adrien swooned at his goddess before remembering his boyfriend was with him. “You’re a very close second.”

But Dami was smiling fondly. “I know. I knew what I was getting into when I asked you out. I will never get in the way between your sibling bond.”

Aww.

He could feel his squishy little heart almost explode from all this sugary cuteness from his vain and egotistical Adonis.

“You’re adorable. So what’s the good news you have for me?”

“Marinette and I have finally dealt with your father. He will answer for his crimes in front of the Parisian authorities and you will not deal with the repercussions of being related to someone as vile as he.”

“Does this mean I don’t have to legally change my name to Dupain-Cheng after all?”

“You’re already one. Not sharing their name does not make you any less of one.”

Adrien beamed, smiling brighter than any sun. He loved being part of the Dupain-Cheng family and it was nice to be acknowledged as one of them.

“Of course. Being a Wayne is an honor too.” Damian said casually as if he was simply talking about the weather. Only the twitch of his fingers belied his nervousness.

Adrien interlocked their fingers together. “You have to buy me a pretty ring first, Mr. Hot-And-Sexy.”

The next week was kind of crazy to say the least.

Gabriel Agreste was outed as Hawk Moth and Natalie as Mayura to the public. They were promptly put in jail.

For all their contingency plans, Marinette and Damian had nothing to worry about after all. Adrien being a literal sunshine and Paris’ darling model was what saved him from being a pariah and outcast. The public knew that Adrien was the victim here and not part of Hawk Moth’s plans at all (Be serious. Can you imagine Sunshine child actually having an evil streak in him? No? That’s right. Because it is impossible). People were more sympathetic about Adrien having such a douchebag as a father than the possibility that he was evil like said douchebag.

After that whole drama mess, Ladybug and Chat Noir announced their retirement to Paris’ dismay. But eh. Without akumas running around, they can leave Paris’ future to the police (since it’s you know, their job to keep the peace and not teenagers who is still winging it as they kick ass).

Marinette and Adrien just wanted to focus on their future without any other crazy shenanigans.

He already said it before. But it still bears repeating.

Lila Rossi is a bitch.

The only thing Gabriel did right was throw her under the bus when he was caught. He told the police and superheroes how Lila helped him cause akumas with her lies and manipulation. Who knew her destroyed reputation could plummet even further? Understandably, her mother was not at all pleased with her daughter’s antics.

For being a terrorist and an indecent person, Lila was immediately arrested and deported to Italy (and that’s the last they ever heard of her thank everything Mari thinks is holy).

With the whole Hawkmoth thing out of the way and he didn’t have to worry about his shitty dad ever again, Adrien can now focus on his biggest challenge yet.

School will be over in a few days and summer will be here. Which means: It’s time to finally meet the Waynes.

Oh fuck. He was going to meet the Batfam.

And even though Dami assured him that his family will like him, he was still nervous.

Fuck that. He was absolutely 100% freaking out!

Thank goodness Mari was coming along for the ride.

Taglist:

@iglowinggemma28

#ml x dc #ml salt #ml salt fic #lila rossi salt #alya cesaire salt #bustier salt #gaydrien #adrien is a hot mess #adrien agreste x damian wayne #adridami #adrien deserves better #marinette deserves better #bamf marinette #a 3.7K fic people #crack writing

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notthebasicajnabiyya · 4 years

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Should you study Modern Standard Arabic (MSA) or a dialect? When I started learning Arabic, I was recommended to study strictly Modern Standard Arabic and stay away from the dialects. Even though the advice is really good, it also turned out problematic. So, I would like to go through some points on the matter, and maybe give some advice on how you can make the best decision for your learning process!

What is Modern Standard Arabic? MSA is the standard, preserved form of Arabic, which has developed from Classical Arabic. In Arabic language, MSA is called العربية الفصحى (al-ʻArabīyah al-Fuṣḥā), which refers to the adjective فصيح (faṣīḥ), meaning eloquent. For native Arabs, “fusha” usually refers to both Modern Standard Arabic and Classical Arabic, and they are categorized as فصحى العصر (Fuṣḥā al-ʻAṣr, modern fusha) and فصحى التراث (Fuṣḥā al-Turāth, historical or “heritage” fusha).

MSA is not a mother tongue for Arabs - usually the language they learn from their parents is the dialect of their country or area. Instead, MSA is used in professional, educational and journalistic purposes. During the past few decades, it has also become more common in social media, when Arabs increasingly communicate over national, communal and linguistic boundaries. MSA is not only a language of the educated and intellect (مثقفون, muthaqqafun) anymore.

Benefits of the dialects As I have mentioned, MSA is nowadays more widely spoken and understood among Arabs, but it is not as natural as dialects, and some have trouble using it even though they fully can understand it (it is mainly a issue of orientating oneself to MSA, since it is extremely rare in informal conversation). Speaking with natives is definitely easier in their own dialects, and natives are always happy to help you with their own language :)

Another point to mention is that most of the culture is produced in dialects - movies, songs, TV series, Youtube channels are all usually using their respective dialects. There are series (especially cartoons) and songs in MSA, but sometimes it may be tricky to find them - the media and popular culture is much richer in the native dialects, and you will never suffer from lack of resources. But then, navigating within the materials can also cause trouble, since the used dialect is not always clearly indicated. It is easier to find material in preferred dialect, when you already have basic knowledge about them.

Benefits of MSA Even though the dialects are very lively languages, MSA could be described as the heart of the language (at least when it comes to me!). Its precise and complicated grammatical system has been preserved for centuries. It may not be always the easiest to use, and not even easiest to study, but the grammatical structures are extremely regular, deliberately set up, and interesting. The dialects are not as much organized and regular, since they have been developing through centuries along native speakers.

If you are into Arabic literature, history or journalism, or you are planning to use Arabic for professional purposes, you definitely should study Modern Standard Arabic. However, I would recommend everyone to start with it, since it is the basis for all the dialects, and allows you to understand the language itself better. Also, it is possible to pick up any dialect after learning MSA, and it may be easier to distinguish the “fusha aspect” from the dialect. Usually, it is also easier to find good learning resources and materials for MSA directed towards language learners. The dialects tend be more informal and/or vary between communities and regions, and some of them may lack variety of teaching materials.

Studying MSA and a dialect at the same time While it may sound a great idea to get the best of both aspects of Arabic language, I would personally recommend getting the basics of MSA first. I added Iraqi Arabic almost in the beginning, since I felt like I needed it to communicate with my spouse’s family. It was extremely useful in that sense, indeed, but it also added its own troubles into my MSA progress - it became harder to distinguish the features of the dialect, different grammatical structures and vocabulary. Informalities creeped into my MSA, and sometimes I got really confused.

It is not impossible to learn both at the same time, and if you have a dialect you are especially interested in, it is probably a good decision to add it in after studying some MSA and getting over the basics. But also, you will do well with MSA for some time, and many people start to learn dialect after they are already learned their MSA into conversational level. Starting both at the same time might be a little overwhelming, though, especially if you are not sure about the dialect you want to learn (but it is possible to learn multiple dialects at the same time, of course - it might just be quite confusing!).

Think about these questions ➊ What are your goals in Arabic language? Do you aim at using Arabic in your career or wish to speak more professionally? How about engaging in informal conversations with natives? ➋ Are you already interested in a dialect, or do you have friends from certain area? If you are uncertain about the dialect you’d like to study, it is a good idea to start with MSA and choose the dialect later, when you already have the basic information. However, if you already have a lot of Arab friends and you want to get to use the language immediately, you could think about starting with the dialect. They can probably help you navigate the learning resources, too! ➌ What kind of learner are you? If you are a grammar nerd like me and you love to study the basics thoroughly, you will probably love MSA. But someone who likes to engage more from the beginning, use the language immediately, listen to songs, speak with natives and watch movies, might benefit from the dialect more.

Also, I want to add that no matter which form of Arabic you choose, you will definitely succeed with just going for it and studying! My journey with Arabic wasn’t so straight-forward and I have had mixed feelings about dialects and MSA, but learning is never bad. And you must remember that many (or most?) Arabic learners will learn multiple dialects over time - you can start with one and proceed then to the next one :) When it comes to beginners, however, it is the simplest to start with MSA or one dialect. The important part is to enjoy the language!

If you have experiences of choosing between MSA and dialects, please share your stories! The ways people have started learning Arabic are always so interesting to hear :)

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slightlymore · 4 years

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Dood I love NCT Sm I rly jus wanna come up to them n educate them all abt Cultural Appropriation so they don’t repeat the same mistakes over n over again. I can’t stand seeing the hate they receive for stuff they do that they possibly DK the significance of 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

long post

although we don't know if they actually know it or not, I think they're smarter than doing ca knowing it's offensive on broadcasts on purpose, like you have to be an absolute idiot (maybe they are at this point idk)

also, it's obviously not fans' duty to keep educate them and I've seen a lot of discourse of people being rightfully tired of keep doing so. but at the same time, it's worth mentioning that a lot of international discourse hardly gets to their ears anyways. there was the wondering as to why sm is so quick to react when less important stuff happens but it won't react with ca even if many people email them about the matter. my answer is that sm as a general company will not take into consideration elements that are not directly impacting their name or the name of their artists in korea. for example, no one in korea probably knows about the ca issues and if they know because they've seen it on Twitter they don't care to spread the word. unless it's something huge when everyone talks about it (and from our perspective ca is huge but still, just some people are talking about it on Twitter, it's not on the trendings in korea) then sm will not make a statement because they think it's useless and it will only get them negative attention (in my opinion, sm will get positive attention if they apologize or make a statement because it will make them look aware, educated and responsible but that’s just my opinion).

you'd think that since sm is expanding a lot overseas it would be more careful to take into consideration every culture and every country's opinion but it's not true.

at the same time, even if they don't care as a company to educate their artists and even if they're assholes (idols legit receive an education as in "if you date we will cut your balls" so I don't think it's hard for sm to do a workshop once a year and have a person explain ca to them or get the idol and say “yo, what you did is shit, stop”) since they're business people at least they should care about the money they would lose if they keep acting poorly. their money still comes from fans and if fans turn their backs to them they won't have it anymore.

idols could definitely educate themselves without companies stepping in but I think if the general korean public started to get educated first so international voices can be heard and spread by everyone then it will definitely help a lot

to give you an example, I live in Italy which can be seen as a cultured country when it comes to social issues, yet no one knows about the Indian dance moves, using black hairstyles if you're not black, calling roma people slurs, even all types of slurs going around. I personally know about it because I live on the internet and I speak English, but the average Italian person has no idea about it, no one talks about it ever. of course some of them will not give a fuck after you educate them but most of them after I say "hey this is why you should not do this because of this reason" they will stop and say that they had no idea. my mom was shocked to hear about black people not getting jobs or getting made fun of because they have natural hair and her rightful question was "why would they be denied work because of that?" because no one here really knows about other cultures' struggles if they're not actively spending a lot of time studying about it.

this is absolutely not to justify the lack of education koreans have as a population, but it’s still an element worth mentioning. if idols keep doing shit im inclined to say that maybe they don’t care about it (very dangerous take for them if they want to keep their reputations intact so it’s probably not the case) or they legit still don’t know about it which to us sounds absurd but I am a international relationships graduate and there’s still so much about the world I have no idea about and i am learning everyday.

people like taeyong, although i have no fucking clue how he really is irl, will probably listen and understand fans’ concerns, especially him. and i can’t imagine him knowing about it and not giving a single damn. i also wish there were easier ways to make them understand certain things.

I will end this long ass post by also mentioning how i think it’s very offensive and rude the way fandoms use social issues to feed into their wars and honestly it makes me boil with anger. everytime there’s something going on, i see the “yeah but your faves did this and this” or the first to act upon an issue is the “rival” fandom just because they finally have something to shit on the other group about. most of the people ive seen lamenting about ca are people that have no reason to feel offended about said thing but they just jump on the hate wagon because they generally hate a certain group. ca and other sensitive topics should not be the object of petty conflicts. people are appropriating someone else’s pain for their own stupid use instead of being mature and responsible people

#ask

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jon-astronaut · 4 years

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Hey friend! Your Skam content has been a gift! So, I have a really random question (I don't know if you've answered a similar one)... But I know that Skam Turkey would probably not be good (especially because of RTÜK)... but if you had the free time and all the creative power, what would you like to see of Skam Turkey?

Helloooo! First of all, thank you for liking my Skam conteeent! I just do things I wish existed ahahah

And, thank you for this question but get ready for a loooong answer! I didn’t answer anything like this before. I only explained why a Skam Turkey wouldn’t work - as you said because of RTÜK (the government institution that regulates television, radio, online content).

I actually thought a lot about this before!

I would base it in İstanbul because it’s where I am living. I know the show would be so different placed in somewhere else but İstanbul feels nice and feels diverse enough.

so season 1, i guess would be pretty similar. I don’t think I would change much of the plot points. except the parties if happening would be smaller in scale. and instead of parties mostly they would hang at bars in kadıköy, beşiktaş, taksim a lot.

they would be studying in one of the ‘good highschools’ (not a private one).

Since Turkish shows are filled with a lot of romance I think it would be important to show a close female friend group!!! they would have sleepovers and braid each other’s hair and get each other coffee every morning from the canteen! sit together in classes! have big breakfasts in kadıköy!

I knew people that smoke weed in high school but I kinda had a niche high school experience so Eva would be against smoking and Jonas could just be smoking cigarettes. Jonas would be quite political. Maybe going to protests in Kadıköy and getting tear gased! Using his twitter a lot!

I would change William's character a lot in s1. Instead of the whole sleeping with Vilde etc. it could be just flirting and giving her hope and him being a kind of a jerk because he would think he was so cool. In the end, he wouldn’t be that toxic. (we don’t need that message! but he doesn’t need to be perfect either)

we would see the stress of the university entrance exam creeping up! eva would feel insecure and have fights with her parents about her grades and about her perfomance in dershane (private courses)! jonas doing so well wouldn’t help either

The girl squad would be the same. Turkish Sana would be a hijabi Muslim and maybe Chris would be a little conservative. Then, Noora and Eva and Vilde would be more relaxed in terms of drinking etc. Vilde could still make her ignorant comments on Islam.

(i think that part’s important because even if Turkey is known as a muslim country there are a lot of people who live the religion in their own terms. as someone who doesn’t have anybody hijabi in her immediate family i had a lot of ignorant questions too)

so s2,

Noora would be the person to keep up with the news of all the murdered women! She would constantly bring that up in hopes to educate others! And her article in the end would be about that. (she would defend #istanbulsözleşmesi #istanbulagreement)

the season would open up with noora and the girls at an 8th of march parade where the police would be there and they would run away!

Vilde would have moved on and there wouldn’t be the whole William forcing Noora to go on a date. Instead Noora would be hesitant because his action’s last year would clash with her feminist ideals. they would get together earlier!

the auction penetrators does could be for some women organization!

the sexual assault storyline would happen mid season and we would see noora go to the police etc. and the whole process!

william wouldn’t leave after finding out...we don’t need to see smt like that on Turkish tv anymore. instead in a teaching moment for the viewers he wouldn’t judge her. and not ask anything like her clothing, the drinking even if noora expected him to

(seeing her legal process is important because it takes a long time in Turkey and most of the time people don’t get punished. jonas and others would help with a twitter campaign)

in s3, william would be studying abroad and him and noora would be doing long-distance successfully!

s3 is the trickiest one and i am changing a lot, (since this the ideal world let’s imagine i can actually put in a gay character)

isak’s mother would accept him immediately but his father could have issues. i feel like the homophobia needs to be shown someway.

even would be a transfer student in their last year. and in 12th grade there would be a big background story of the university entrance exam. isak and even could meet at a study session designed by the school

in early parts of the season, we could see a lot of ‘i don’t have a problem with gay people as long as they are away from me, they don’t shove their sexuality in my face’ type of thinking from the people around. maybe some class discussions.

the boy squad would be wholesome! they would still make some weird jokes but they will learn better! they wouldn’t be skaters but they would hang out at places like kadıköy, beşiktaş a lot! maybe they could do like a little band of their own!

the internalized homophobia would be strong (but never using slurs kind of) and isak would really force himself to be with emma.

when they finally kiss instead of going for more isak would run away. and then when they see each other at school they would talk and isak would say smt like ‘let’s forget about that’

him and eva would be close friends and while talking with her about relationships he would realize it was unfair to emma and break up with her.

here comes eskild! it would be noora’s older brother who is studying in a well known university and who is openly gay! they would run into each other somehow and isak would see that he could be himself. that there are people like him. (later on the boy squad gets like lectures, lessons from him to educate themselves on different sexualities)

then, he would go to a bar even is in and they talk and pinky touches and go back to even’s. make out, spend time etc. there is no sonja storyline. instead it’s them getting together.

the mental ilness storyline stays! and isak would see even’s episode instead of waking up with him gone. he would dial his parents’ numbers and learn everything!

then, even would talk a lot about himself and explain how he feels and how is everything for him!

WAITJONAS! jonas would be such a good friend and i think the whole carelessness of skam wouldn’t work. instead he would be careless about it at first like ‘oh he is good looking’ then he would apologize for the old jokes and swears he would be better! GIVES ISAK A BIG HUG THE PHYSICAL CONTACT IS IMPORTANT! then jonas makes his mission the end homophobes on twitter and irl!

(this convo would happen either at moda sahil or in beşiktaş while eating balık ekmek which fish and bread)

(i would change a lot because i think a more positive and a more distilled portrayal is important and isak and even navigating their relationship should be seen more.)

sadly, at school in the street etc. they would never be seen kissing, holding hands. but eskild would take everybody to his university for a tour one day (there is still the university entrance exam) and isak and even would be themselves there.

s4 is also tricky and actually somehow some part of og skam works,

sana would feel isolated because the others are not practicing like her and some are not even believing. she would feel weird when fasting because vilde and noora would suggest getting coffee after school without second thinking.

let’s get political! she would have a hard time convincing people she wasn’t supporting the government. maybe some political debates in class and people would stare at her thinking she would say something old fashioned etc. (this would come up in s3 with isak first. isak would see her hanging with turkish eskild and it would click for him that it doesn’t matter for sana)

sana and jonas would bond over politics!

yousef’s story always felt familiar for me so he would be a non-believer (or if i felt brave enough he would be Kurdish and there would be a whole conversation about it) so that whole storyline happens without the noora kiss.

i would have even be exes with one of sana’s brother’s friends - much like skamit! we need some muslim gay represantation!

and instead of the fight between the boys there would be this coldness because of jealousy from isak. a fight almost breaks but even and jonas stops it while the other two boys are ready to jump the others. the episode would end with isak and even arguing sana hearing it.

next, isak and sana would have the bench talk. the whole answering the ignorant questions would be said and then they would ask each other that. in a respectful way of course. stuff like isak asking about ‘can a muslim be gay?’ and sana asking about ‘how did you realized you liked boys?’ etc.

(i am trying to teach people here)

about now sana realizes he could be with yousef regardless. and they talk.

the girls would plan an afterparty with the others in their year for after the prom! sana wouldn’t feel welcome there - it’s a club. and the fights etc.

the girls would come to sana’s home and apologize saying they want to do better learn more!

also a convo with maybe chris and eva - sana being a hijabi muslim who fasts and prays, chris being maybe loosely fasting and praying in her own way and eva who doesn’t do anything but still believes in God and considers herself Muslim and how they all feel!

then the farewell stuff would happen with banners and slogans! and they would dress up in their school’s colors!

after this sana would meet up with yousef and they would go on an official date. and it would be like they would hold hands while walking and hug but not kissess (at least not in public)

one of the final clips would be a long table in one of the characters’s home where they are having iftar! everybody made the foods, william comes back, jonas and eva gets together!

and the graduation ceremony! everybody crying! and finally a few shots of isak and even in the pride where it gets cancelled/tear gased every year! eskild would be there too! and even some other friends supporting them!

oh wow! i guess you didn’t expect this when you asked! i was halfway into this when i realized you just asked what i would like to see and i was here giving you an outline...

anyway, basically i would love to see the female friendship part being emphasized, seeing noora’s sexual asault plot in a bigger way and seeing the results, the homophobia of turkey and the hope regardless and the coming together of different ways of Islam!!!!!

if you want to bounce off ideas i am always opeeeen! and hope you liked this little turkish skam versiooon!

#skam #skam turkey #ask

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westudiedfilmfor3years · 3 years

Text

Our First Episode: The Bechdel Test and its Various Offspring

Maddy: Hello and welcome to our podcast, "We Studied Film For Three Years And All We Got Was This Podcast". I'm one of your hosts, Maddy Raven. I'm a third-year theatre and film student.

Jemima: I'm Jemima. I'm also a third year, but just straight film student.

Sarah: And I'm Sarah. And I'm also studying film and television.

Maddy: So this podcast is going to be about film criticism, specifically focusing on diversifying female voices in film criticism, because we think that there are a lot of male, straight white voices in film criticism. Shout out to Michael, who is a straight white male editor.

Maddy: He's looking from side to side!

Jemima: We love Michael.

Maddy: And we're putting this together partly as part of our assessment. So this will be assessed, but also because we want to talk about films and we like to talk about films and we have super interesting conversations about them.

Maddy: And we want to share them with the world because frankly, my opinions are fantastic, actually. And I'm going to force them on everyone else.

Jemima: Yeah, our opinions matter. And because we've kind of done three years of this, I think that we can all agree we have a kind of educated response to films that we just want to put across and create a dialogue about.

Jemima: But at the same time, we want to keep it informal. We want every person, people that don't watch films often know nothing about the theory of it, and then the people who have also studied it as well. We just want to make it fun, accessible and yeah, hope you enjoy it.

Maddy: We'll also be having guests on the show, hopefully including, you know, like friends, even family, I'll get my dad to come on and rant about how much he loves Jeff Bridges. My dad is like a massive crush on Jeff Bridges. And he's like, no, no, I'm sorry. I'm sure I'm straight.

Maddy: It's like, you are gay for Jeff Bridges, like so gay for Jeff Bridges, it's ridiculous.

Maddy: But having people on to talk to people from the film industry as well and hopefully talk about various things to do with the industry as well, because as everyone knows, it is really difficult to get into the film industry and hopefully at least one of us will somehow make it there and we will be able to share knowledge.

Jemima: Yeah, let's hope all of us, but at least one that would be great.

Maddy: There's four of us, one in four should make it. Yeah.

Jemima: Twenty-five percent. That's fine.

Maddy: So each episode will be about like a topic. We like topics. It's a general topic and we're going to start out. Oh my God, my text has disappeared from my notes. That's terrifying.

Maddy: So we just thought we'd start out pretty gentle and start by talking about the Bechdel test, which since it came out as part of Allison Bechdel's comic, which came out I think was in the 70s when I can't find it in my notes.

Sarah: I think that one was from nineteen eighty-five.

Maddy: Nineteen eighty five. Thank you Sarah.

Maddy: Since then it has become, you know, this huge thing it has come so far since then, and there's even a website where you can go and search up your favourite films and we'll be talking about some of our favourite films and why they passed the test and why they don't and how we feel about that and also why the Bechdel Test exists, in our opinion. So, um, Sarah, do you mind giving us a little rundown of what the Bechdel Test is? Because you sound super knowledgeable and smart.

Sarah: Thank you. Sure. So it's called the Bechdel-Wallace Test, it originates from a comic strip called The Rule by Allison Bechdel from 1985, part of her comic called Dykes to Watch Out For.

Sarah: Yeah, lesbians to watch out for lesbians, lesbians substituting a word that can be considered a slur.

Sarah: And yeah, basically these two characters in the comic strip, they're walking past the cinema, I think, talking about movies. And one of them says how they only go to see a film if it passes three simple rules.

Sarah: So it needs to have at least two female characters who talk to each other about something other than men.

Sarah: And I think since then, people have added that the female characters need to have names, so, yeah, it started off as just a kind of tongue in cheek little joke about how few films actually do have something really simple, like two women in them. And I think, yeah, Alison Bechdel said this is inspired by a conversation she had with her friend Liz Wallace, which is why sometimes it's called the Bechdel-Wallace test. But since then, yeah, critics have kind of rolled it and made a more official kind of way to look at films.

Maddy: Yeah, yeah, that's it. So have any of you seen Pacific Rim?

Jemima: Yeah, wait, there's more to say about that.

Jemima: There's the whole Virginia Woolf thing. OK, so also another thing is that Alison Bechdel, she prefers it to be called the Bechdel-Wallace test just because they created it together and she got most of the credit. That's one thing to say. And then the Virginia Woolf thing, she read A Room of One's Own and thought that was a great way of just kind of encouraging the feminist writings to be transferred onto film.

Jemima: So this test should be really easy to just apply. Another thing as well: there's an additional, Sarah, you said the named character one. The other one is a total of more than 60 seconds of conversation. That's another important one.

Maddy: So what is A Room of One's Own, because I've not actually read the book. So when you say the Virginia Woolf thing, what do you mean?

Jemima: So it's a nineteen twenty-nine essay.

Jemima: "All these relationships between women, I thought, rapidly recalling the splendid gallery of my fictitious woman, utterly simple. And I try to remember any case in that course of my readings where two women are represented as friends. They are now and then mothers and daughters are almost without exception, they are shown in relation to men.

Jemima: It was strange to think that all the great women of fiction were, until Jane Austen's day, not only seen by the other sex but seen only in relation to the other sex. And how small a part of a woman's life is that?

Maddy: Oh, that's quite pretty, actually. Maybe I should read that, I'll say that, but I won't read it for years to come because I'm bad at concentrating,

Sarah: You can borrow it if you'd like.

Maddy: Yeah, I would. Genuinely, I wish I could read, but I'm probably sitting down and doing it. So obviously, the Bechdel test is a pretty simple test. It has been elaborated on slightly, but I've read a lot of articles about this and in particular, people notice that certain films were passing the test, while other films were failing them. There was such a disparity, like it said here, like Pacific Rim fails the Bechdel Test, despite having like this badass woman, called Mako Mori, she's a Japanese fighter like she because she kicks this guy's ass like ten minutes into the film. It's amazing because the film fails the test essentially and somehow, Thor passes it.

Maddy: So, you know, people are wondering how do we- how do we remedy this? So a Tumblr user called Chila invented the Mako Mori test after watching Pacific Rim. And you will pass this test if you have one female character who gets her own narrative arc that is not supporting a man's story. So moving on from, they have the bare minimum, which is like two female characters talking about, you know, something other than a man to each other: it's also at least one of these women getting a narrative arc and getting to live her own life. And it's not because of a guy, basically.

Maddy: And then Roxane Gay, who is fantastic, you should follow her on Instagram, we love her. She proposed this six-part test. And it says, is there a central female character who is supporting female characters, who doesn't compromise herself for love or live extravagantly for no explained reason? And at least half the time is this character, a woman of colour, transgender and/or queer?

Maddy: And there's also a sixth point, which is a requirement, which is the suggestion that female characters shouldn't have to live up to an unrealistic feminist standard. They can be flawed so long as they feel like they're human beings because, you know, like women, in order to win a place in film a lot of time, it's almost as if women have to be on their best behaviour. They have to be really good. And that's something I'm particularly interested in. I'm really interested in women that are horrible people. I am obsessed with Gone Girl. It's a little bit of a problem. But the Cool Girl Monologue, it changed my life. I know everyone says that everyone, everyone on Twitter was just like the Cool Girl Monologue created so many monsters. And yes, it should have done because I love it. I love women who are horrible. And I think we should allow women to be horrible in films as well. And I think we should allow them to be angry and cry. And just off the top of my head, just like I've seen so many amazing, like montages like this, especially like I tried to with my social media feeds, with a lot of like women that are talking about film and just watching female rage on screen can be so exciting sometimes. Like, um, have any of you watch Lovecraft Country yet?

Jemima: Yeah, I have.

Maddy: When she smashes the car windows with the baseball bat.

Jemima: Yeah. Yeah. And then everyone's like, oh, I can smash windows too. Yeah.

Maddy: And there's also like well - what were some other examples I was thinking about? Ready or Not. We studied that a couple of weeks ago with Peter Falconer in our Contemporary Hollywood cinema unit. She's just screaming at her husband. She's so angry she doesn't even have words anymore. She just starts yelling. And I'm like, yes, you know, I love that. I've got away from myself. Yeah. I just love women who are horrible people, and I think that should be more of them. Yeah.

Jemima: And Carrie is an awesome one to do female rage about. Of course, she's a flawed, flawed character, but we have compassion for Carrie. We understand her because she has depth to her.

Jemima: And that's all we want, female characters with depth, motivation. We can determine throughout the film, not just prancing off to a man.

Maddy: So then the next test after that was the Sexy Lamp Test, which was made by Kelly Sue DeConnick. I love the name: Sexy Lamp Test. It's quite easy to pass. You pass it if your female character, it could be replaced by a sexy lamp without the plot falling apart. You're a fucking hack. So, yeah, I'm thinking back to maybe, X-Men First Class where that woman who like turns to diamond half the time follows - is it Kevin Bacon? I think it is Kevin Bacon. It's like she's one of the baddies, I swear, because, like, all she does is just be hot, have boobs and turn to diamonds sometimes. I fully believe, like, she could literally turn into a sexy lamp at any point through the film and nothing would change.

Jemima: Like, I mean, her turning into diamonds is kind of commenting on that itself, she's nothing but a mere object of desire in that way.

Maddy: And just talking about like, yeah, if she could literally be replaced by a lamp and the plot wouldn't change. You've got an issue with your female character. And then when you put all these tests together, it's been put together and formed the Crystal Gems test. So it's named after the heroes in Steven Universe, which I still haven't watched and still need to watch Steven Universe.

Maddy: And it creates this big triangle. And you just kind of you can mark whether or not it passes the tests and it creates a cute little graph. And there's also other stuff like the Ellen Willis test, so that requires the story to make sense if the genders were flipped. So I'm thinking about Overboard! Have any of you seen Overboard?

Jemima: The new one?

Maddy: Yeah, I'm thinking about the fact that they swap the genders for the new version like it's problematic both ways. Just for context, Overboard, is it Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn? Yeah, so she's like this rich woman living on a boat and he's like a workman on the boat. And I think they get into that argument because she's a dick and he pushes her off the boat - I don't know, she falls off the boat. She gets amnesia and then he's somehow got a load of kids. His wife is dead or something, I think. And he's got loads of kids. And so instead of like a normal human being, when he finds that she has amnesia, she goes to the police station and she doesn't know where she is, who she is, instead of being like a normal non-psychotic human being and just leaving her on her own, after he's basically- actually I don't think he pushes her off the boat. He takes her home and tells her that she's his wife and makes her help him raise the kids. I think it's supposed to be this comment about like teaching her humility and teaching her to be a good person. But it's not that. It is kidnap.

Jemima: It's like 50 First Dates. I had a real, real big problem with the fact that she could not consent to any of the dates. She was vulnerable. She had a disability. She was basically being forced to, like, fall in love with Adam Sandler. And great, cute I understand the rom-com assets of that, but at the same time, like you do not know this person. She wakes up every day. Like just because you've invested so much in her does not mean she should be forced to hang out with you every hour of the day and love you.

Jemima: You know, it's just a bit crazy.

Maddy: So, then they obviously remade Overboard, but they were like, oh, instead of, like, remaking it - obviously people would have had an issue with it if they'd remade it today with the same role models, everyone would've refused. Actually not everyone, sane human people would have been like, this is fucked up. You can't just kidnap women and tell them that your wife because they've got amnesia. But like, they decided to swap the gender roles as if that made it better. So this is Chris Pratt's ex-wife.

Jemima: You just called her Chris Pratt's ex-wife!

Maddy: I did! Because I've been thinking about him a lot and the fact that he's a conservative and he's like a horrible, homophobic Christian.

Jemima: Allegedly.

Maddy: Allegedly, allegedly. Allegedly. Oh, no. I'm already getting sued.

Maddy: But yeah, I was just thinking about - it's still messed up, even if it's a girl kidnapping a guy, it's still messed up. But then in that way, I guess it does pass the Ellen Willis test.

Sarah: It's an awful idea.

Maddy: And in the last one, the last test I really do like is called the Tauriel, the one the Evangeline Lily plays in the altogether too long Hobbit franchise. The one who falls in love with Aidan Turner.

Maddy: Anyway, it's a test that says that if there's going to be a woman in the film where she works a job the same as a load of guys, she has to be good at what she does. At least one woman has to be good at her job because they never have jobs. It's always like, you're a housewife. That's your job.

Jemima: You're a mother and a wife first and that is your job.

Maddy: Exactly, like if there's going to be a woman, she's going to have a job and she's going to be good at that job. Just one, the rest can be terrible. Just one. Just one of them has to be a smart human being who is capable.

Maddy: That's all we want.

Jemima: Practical skills. I don't know her.

Maddy: Yes, exactly.

Michael: I've had to not interject like three times. The sexy lady from X-Men is called Emma Frost. And turning into diamond is her secondary mutation. And they've just they've just really badly represented the character on film. I'll defend her.

Jemima: When I was like 15, I read this autobiography by one of the world's most famous groupies from the 60s and 70s. Reread it the other day. And it's the most horrendous anti-feminist paedophilic disgustingness I have ever read. I don't know. It's like glamorising everything. And of course, it was a sign of the times. But like even in her, like, epilogue, she was just like, I excuse myself and my behaviour, it's all fine and it's like, no.

Jemima: So I guess it just takes a twenty-first century perspective on things, isn't it? To reflect, hopefully.

Maddy: Yeah, so I guess. Oh, there are so many more tests I could go into if you guys are up for that

Jemima: Do you reckon we should start doing the film stuff?

Maddy: Yeah, I would like to mention, though, just to make it clear that I'm not a terrible person. There are also lots of tests. So the Deggans rule requires a show that's not about race to include at least two non-white human characters in the main cast.

Maddy: The Morales Rule by actor Natalie Morales, asks that no one calls anybody papi, dances to salsa music, or uses gratuitous Spanish if they're a latinx character.

Maddy: And one of my personal favourites is the DuVernay test, or sometimes referred to as the Kent test, after Clarkisha Kent. She's an interesting film critic. A piece of work passes it if African-Americans and other minorities have fully realised lives rather than serve as scenery in white stories. That makes me think back to The Help, you know, Viola Davis. She's been saying, I regret being part of that film, but a lot of the time it is about making sure that you're not just including women and giving them a seat at the table, but making sure that people of colour and people who are queer as well because there's also - I'm not how to say this, I'm probably going to butcher it, the Vito-Russo test.

Maddy: There are three requirements to pass this test. The film must contain a lesbian, gay or bisexual or transgender character. That character must not be predominantly defined by the orientation or their gender identity. They need to be as unique as straight cis characters, and they must be important enough to affect the plot. They can't just crack some jokes or paint urban authenticity.

Maddy: There's also the Topside test for trans literature and there are plenty of other tests like the Finkbeiner Test for non-fiction and the Lauredhel test for toys. So there's loads of tests. The Bechdel test started quite a few movements in film, and it's all very interesting. So I think next we're going to be looking at some of our favourite films and seeing whether or not they pass the test.

Maddy: And you are welcome to judge us and our favourite films, as I'm sure you will. And I'm sure we'll judge each other.

Jemima: Please do.

Maddy: I think Jemima should go first.

Jemima: Well, I have a few that I can pick from. I think a good one to start would be - have any of you guys in Starship Troopers? OK, so any one of us, which is Michael and he doesn't even speak a lot, so we'll get him to speak - unmute yourself at this point.

Jemima: OK, I'm going to quiz you on it. Do you think it's a feminist film?

Michael: Isn't like - they're fighting bugs, right? Yeah, isn't like the main enemy, like the queen bug.

Jemima: OK, I'm talking about interpersonal, human relationships.

Michael: Yeah, I think there's only two female characters and they're both trying to, like, vie for the attention of one male character. If I remember.

Michael: Is that right?

Jemima: But what is it? What I find to be really interesting about the film is that, basically, the protagonist, male, heterosexual character, he goes into the army because his girlfriend encourages it, she's in the army, he's like, I don't know what to do. I'm going to follow Carmen to the army.

Jemima: And that is a switch from tradition - it's gender play, which I enjoy. And also the other female character, called Izzy, who also enters the army. But her motivation is to get the protagonist because she fancies him. But they met because they both played American football together on the same team. And it's a Paul Verhoeven film. Paul Verhoeven works a lot with eroticism. So you can see the kind of anti-feminist stuff from sexualising women, but at the same time.

Michael: Is it Showgirls?

Jemima: Yeah, the same time he's giving female voices power and narrative arcs and all this stuff. And I really enjoy it. And I think when I was a kid, some of my favourite films like Starship Troopers, Aliens, all of that stuff, I really enjoy strong female protagonists. And I think he got somewhere with it, although there's a lot of tits and ass. But you got somewhere.

Jemima: I don't even know - this is just talking to you guys. But I don't even know if it's good to talk about film if we haven't watched it or whatever, because it's hard because you guys haven't got much to comment on those two.

Maddy: Interesting comment.

Sarah: Yeah. I mean, we can cut it out later if it doesn't work, but like you have some interesting stuff say so like. Go ahead.

Jemima: Thank you. I'll just do a bit on the Bechdel test. So the movie does have at least two women in it, surprisingly, only two though. Some of the other women are nameless characters like you do have women captains, all of that stuff. But yeah, I think the point of having women able to do like military stuff, at a time when women couldn't even do that in the 90s. So I appreciate that. And I think it's much better than our world at that point. So that's a good point. And then they don't talk to each other. That's one that interests me. They only talk in relation to the guy. I think - I don't want to spoil it for anyone, but one of the females dies halfway through, so they can't really talk to each other. Plus, it's all narratives in different parts of space and time and super difficult. Three: about something other than a man. Well, obviously, that's not applicable because they don't talk to each other. And when they do discuss it, it's all about men. And then two additional points that we could make is: two women must be named characters, they are called Carmen and Dizzy, so that's yes and/or they must have at least a total of 60 seconds of conversation. If I was to manipulate this, I would say at least 60 seconds of action, because they're both strong, physically strong women in the film. And you see that throughout. Carmen, at the end, she's like there, fully, with this giant bug and all the men and all the army surrounding her, but she keeps her cool and she survives an awful lot and she does it all by herself.

Jemima: So I think that's a good point. Yeah, that's me done.

Maddy: How about Sarah next?

Sarah: So one of my favourite movies is Lady Bird, have we we all seen that one?

Jemima: Yes.

Sarah: So, written and directed by Greta Gerwig, films that are written and directed by women, well, more likely than films written and directed by men, it seems, Lady Bird does pass all of the features of the Bechdel test because when women write, we know that we have lives and we speak to women. And that's a normal thing that would happen in, you know, a character's life.

Sarah: Yeah, we've got several named female characters who are friends who have conversations about various things. They do talk about men now and then. But like that isn't their only interest in life.

Sarah: I think that Lady Bird's like a pretty good bit of female representation, I mean, the characters are quite well rounded, the main character, Lady Bird, but she's a likeable character that lot of people, you know, relate to in some way, but she isn't, like, flawless, she's quite emotional, but not in a sort of derogatory hysterical kind of way - in a kind of stereotyped fashion.

Maddy: Yeah, I was just thinking I've just been thinking about the fact that we've also been looking at Little Women, which is obviously also directed by Greta Gerwig, this term as once again, as part of our Hollywood unit. And I was thinking about, you know, the moment not that not the proposal moment, but the bit where Joe is in the attic with her mom and she's talking about, you know, her life.

Maddy: And she goes women. They have minds and they have souls as well as just hearts. And they've got ambition and they've got talent as well as just beauty. I'm so sick of people saying that love is all a woman is fit for. And I think Greta Gerwig does that very well. I mean, it's the same actress both times. It's Saoirse Ronan and I think they're a very good duo.

Maddy: And I think you're right. You know, female directors and female writers, they are women, they talk to other women a lot of the time, hopefully. And they are aware of the fact that, you know, I can't believe I have to say this, but we have complex inner lives. We have thoughts and stuff.

Maddy: I have many opinions, like I've said, and we deserve to have them represented on screen.

Maddy: And I think for Greta Gerwig, despite the overwhelming whiteness of a lot of the people that she casts in her films, she does a very good job of showing, you know, a particular type of female character.

Maddy: And she's very good at teenage girls as well, I think. Yeah, very good at that age group. And she clearly remembers her own adolescence quite well. And she does a very good job of just kind of like, talking about that kind of stuff. I don't know. I rate her for it, I think it's pretty cool.

Jemima: Yeah. I think one of the great things about Greta is the fact that she has completely found a niche in the market. How many times have like we heard about a mother-daughter film? Not a lot like - can we think of any right now?

Maddy: Still Alice, I think is it called?

Jemima: Yeah, that's one.

Maddy: I guess, is My Sister's Keeper a mother-daughter film?

Jemima: We do not talk about that film. *inaudible giggling*

Jemima: Yeah, so Greta really works with the kind of bringing - fleshing out people, not just women, people, and then bringing the interplay between them into question. Just flawed characters - we all have- like, we still love each other. We all make mistakes. And her films really brilliantly portray that. And growing up is also like coming of age films, heart-wrenching. And I really enjoy the fact that, like at the end of the film, I feel like men, women, children, anyone can get something out of Lady Bird, get something out of Little Women.

Jemima: But one additional point is that Little Women, the text of it, she is like the film is- it basically keeps the fidelity with the book, so the literature is really, really ultra-feminist, of course.

Jemima: With Little Women, she obviously was inspired by the text and kind of did it in a contemporary fashion. It was feminist in the start and it really encouraged that narrative and pushed it forward. So yeah.

Maddy: Yeah, I found somehow a way to bring up in almost all of my seminars so far with my girl, that being like, hey, you know, Jo March, she's a lesbian, right? And everyone has, like a little debate about it. I'm just like, guys, she is a lesbian. But, yeah, like a lot of fun to talk about Little Women.

Maddy: I was just looking at my little list of films and I kind of wanted to talk about, um, I think in particular The Personal History of David Copperfield.

Maddy: It came out earlier this year, it's Dev Patel as David Copperfield.

Jemima: We love the casting.

Maddy: We do. So I found a really interesting website and it's called Mediaversity Reviews.

Maddy: And it gives a kind of like A to F grade for overall diversity for films. And it gives really in-depth reviews of just like, you know, films in terms of like their diversity points.

Maddy: But it does it in a really good way. Like it's not to virtue signal-y. And even, you know, it talks about, you know, like the directors.

Maddy: It's got like a little emoji next to the director. And it shows you whether or not the writer like where they're from is a guy, are they white, you know?

Maddy: Basically, The Personal History of David Copperfield gets a B. So A would be the highest, but it gets a B because they give it five out five for- my Internet connection is unstable.

Maddy: Yeah, The Personal History of David Copperfield gets a B, so the technical diversity, which is kind of talking about overall in terms of just like casting and crew was five out five. But despite passing the Bechdel test, it does point out that a lot of the women kind of like- well, the thing is, it is called The Personal History of David Copperfield.

Maddy: And a lot of the women in the film kind of like exist on the periphery of his life. And, you know, it's all about him and his angst and his stuff he's doing.

Maddy: And it - apart from obviously the fact that it's Agnes, the one who ends up marrying him - which is another thing, she ends up marrying him - she helps to uncover Uriah Heep, who voices Paddington, by the way. She obviously helps to, like, expose the fact that he's swindling her dad and that he's taken over the company and is terrible. So for that, it gets points because it's like, yeah, she's a badass. Like she steals the documents, she does a load of stuff. She's super smart. But apart from that, the film is about a guy and the women tend to exist on the periphery. And, you know, even though, like. Did any of you ever watch Wolfblood?

Sarah: Yeah, I did.

Maddy: Did you recognize Maddie from Wolfblood? She's the one that runs off with Steerforth.

Maddy: Yeah, just a random point. You know, it's Maddie from Wolfblood, but like, you know, just thinking about her, like she kind of like exists on the periphery of the story. And the only time she really comes into play is when she's like either engaged to Ham or she runs off with Steerforth and then he abandons her in London, goes off and dies on the boat. I found him hilarious. I probably shouldn't have done. I just- I just love the way he's always like, "remember me at my best." And I'm like, dude, at best your best is literally someone else's rock bottom. You kind of suck. He's like, "remember me at my best" - you're kind of a dick, though. No one thinks that you're the best.

Maddy: Just stop. But yeah, for race, it gets four out of five and they make a point that obviously Charles Dickens when writing the book, everyone he would have been imagining would have been as white as snow. And that's how he saw the world at the time. But they made a point of just like casting actors they knew would do a good job.

Maddy: And you know, it literally doesn't matter, like it's a story - it is a fictional story and the people are like, oh, but why would so-and-so have so-and-so as a father? That doesn't make sense. It's like, yeah, but, you know, this isn't a film for people who are masters of genetics. This is a film for people that enjoy films and enjoy the story. And all would do a fantastic job.

Maddy: So it gets a really good score for race diversity, but it makes a point, it says, 'when white directors cast blindly without making changes to the character based on the actor's ethnicity, it merely ticks a box of diversity. Meanwhile, matters of true representation not just in body but through diverse narratives defaults to a white experience'. So essentially, I think- I think what they're kind of trying to make is kind of like a point is a bit like the Sexy Lamp test. If you could change the race of this character and it would have absolutely no effect on the plot: is that true representation? I think that's the point they're trying to make. I think what they're trying to say is, yes, this is really good, like I know they had Dev Patel in mind to play David Copperfield from the start, but I think they're making the point that, like, if you're going to cast someone as a character, you need to bring into consideration how their race changes the way that they interact with the world around them and how that might be reflected in the narrative.

Maddy: And it's not interchangeable. And, you know, David Copperfield, looking the way he does, would not have had the same experience as a David Copperfield who was white would have done, especially in Victorian England. But in the end, it's a film. It's a fictional film.

Sarah: It's a difficult balance to strike, isn't it?

Sarah: You don't want to make it all about race all the time, but you still need to like acknowledge it. It's difficult to represent without overshadowing other elements.

Jemima: If you look at the director, Armando Iannuci- butchered his name. But like, if you look at his authorship, so Death of Stalin, he had Russians from Yorkshire, like his thing is and I listened to an interview when he released Personal History and his justification for all of this stuff is the fact that we can put history, not the kind of the racial side of things, but just history and how things would have been accurately presented, we can put that aside to just have quality in cast and crew.

Jemima: And I think that's a very good point. And of course, this stuff does make a great grounds for the other side. But at the same time, I think he and a lot of people and including what's his name, Dev Patel, all of those people they really, really appreciated and kind of acclaimed, the casting direction, because now so many casting decisions are based on-

Jemima: His essentially groundbreaking thing, because obviously the controversy around having a brown person in a white film as the main protagonist, whatever, and now everyone seems to be doing it. So it kind of has some rubbish sides to it, but at the same time, it's encouraging diversity in a lot of different ways.

Maddy: I remember when the trailer came out for the film, when the comments were just full of the, you know, "Charles Dickens would be rolling in his grave". And it's like, yes, he would, because he was a racist. Everyone back then was racist. But I don't care what he has to say because he's dead.

Maddy: And thanks for the books, Charles, but they're ours now. And then it got zero points for disability.

Maddy: It makes a point. Obviously, it's oh, my God, I'm forgetting everyone's names. Hugh Laurie. Yes. Hugh Laurie playing Mr Dick.

Maddy: He obviously has some issues with his mental health and everyone's really lovely to him about it. I don't - I think they get points for that. But then that's kind of cancelled out by the fact that Mr. Wickfield is serious, he has serious alcohol problems and everyone just kind of think this is a big joke.

Maddy: So for all the points that it gains for being like Mr Dick clearly has something going on there and everyone's super lovely to him about it. And they're never mean to him and they appreciate him for his intelligence and he's great, that gets cancelled out by the fact that Mr. Wickfield is a serious alcoholic and they all kind of make fun of him, but they get zero points for that.

Maddy: I don't know if I would count alcoholism as a disability.

Jemima: It is a mental illness.

Maddy: Yeah, it's mental illness, I think.

Maddy: But that means that overall it gets a B grade. And I just thought that was an interesting article. I'll probably link it below. It was written by - I'm probably butchering this again, Alicia Johnson, but the Alicia's got a J in it. I think it sounds like it's kind of Polish, so I don't know. And yet it seems like a really interesting website like they give diversity grades to loads of different films, including Lion, another film by Dev Patel, which again, because it doesn't pass the Bechdel test but obviously is very diverse. And yeah, I just- I love The Personal History of David Copperfield, it makes me happy. It's also because obviously, like Bleak House, like the actual Bleak House is in Broadstairs and I'm from Broadstairs.

Maddy: So like, like literally the school next to my school growing up is called Charles Dickens. There are so many pubs in town named after various Charles Dickens things like, when I worked in the pharmacy, so many people would like have prescriptions. It would be like, oh, your address is literally Bleak House. That's so cool.

Maddy: And I don't know, I don't think he was a particularly good person, I've really struggled to read a lot of his work because it's long, it's Victorian. But Charles Dickens obviously is a little bit like- I'm very territorial about it. I'm like, oh, my God, Charles Dickens!

Jemima: Heritage, isn't it?

Maddy: I don't know. I shouldn't be so protective over it, but, you know, I enjoy it. Oh, yeah. How long is the recording so far, Michael?

Michael: I can't actually see a time- if I click on recording will it tell me?

Maddy: Oh, I thought you were timing it. I thought that would have been-

Michael: Would have made sense when I started, yeah.

Sarah: I've been timing it on my phone and that's coming up to like forty-eight minutes - I set it off a bit before we, like, started.

Jemima: Yeah. Shall we do a conclusion then, we probably can't fit much more.

Maddy: Yeah.

Sarah: I read some stuff about the Oscars and how like only 50 percent of Oscar Best Picture winners have passed the Bechdel test. Yeah, only half of the Best Picture nominations this year did, might be worth mentioning.

Maddy: I don't want to defend any one, but I will make the point that there have been far less films to choose from this year. Like if- the way we're going the Husavik song Eurovision: Fire Saga or whatever is going to be the one that wins the Best Song for the Oscars.

Maddy: And that would obviously not be ideal, but it's a pandemic! Let Will Ferrell win an Oscar.

Jemima: I just think that, like what makes films Oscar-worthy does not make films good. Yeah, I think that's something that we can all agree on.

Jemima: And so it's just like to win Oscars, you basically have to tick a couple of boxes. Is it melodramatic and sloppy? Yes. Like has it got some really pretentious narrative points? Yes. And then is it either a musical or biographical, all of those things, then it passes. But then that's why a lot of directors and auteurs and stuff just completely reject the whole award system. It's just like the most anti-diverse, anti-feminist, anti-everything. But obviously, as we see in the next couple of years, they have just released that new classification - it won't be implemented for a while, as we know, but I guess they just copied the BAFTAs with a lot of it, doing the whole score marking system of they have to have this amount of diversity in the cast and crew for them to even be allowed to be considered for the award.

Maddy: Cool. Who would like to conclude, I would like not to because I introduced.

Jemima: And so I really hope. Well, we really hope that you have enjoyed this. Obviously, it's a first time, but yeah, I think we've made some really insightful points.

Jemima: And if you would like to look into them further, I'm sure, Michael, God bless his soul, our little white guy at the site-

Jemima: Yes. He'll put some great resources, everything that we were talking about in the description. Yeah. Is there any final thoughts from anyone?

Maddy: I love Dev Patel.

Sarah: Yeah, I second that.

Jemima: I agree with that wholeheartedly.

Resources:

Failing the “DuVernay Test”: 6 signs your on-screen black character is a tired stereotype

The Bechdel Test, and Other Media Representation Tests, Explained

The Personal History of David Copperfield on Mediaversity Reviews

#podcast #transcript #film criticism #dev patel #personal history of david copperfield #greta gerwig #lady bird #saoirse ronan #peter vanhoeven #xmen #bechdel test #ava duvernay

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k-gorman8 · 4 years

Text

So I had to write an essay about a hero in my English class. I had reached the point where I didn’t care anymore so I started it off as a joke. Very quickly I realized I actually truly enjoyed the assignment. Enjoy :)

Hero Essay

“In a world. . .

With no bravery. . .

There is only one who can save us. . .”

*queue dramatic music*

“BRAVEMAN! The man who is brave!”

The TV screen illuminated the dark room. My sister, sitting on the couch with a book in hand, scoffs at me.

“You’re watching Braveman again? You know that’s not real. No one could ever be like that. ‘Bravery’ or whatever isn’t real.”

“It’s a good movie,” I say. “Dad likes it.”

“Yeah well I think it’s stupid,” she rolls her eyes. “Why don’t you read something? Something real? Like the encyclopedias. You haven’t even gotten to the letter K yet.”

I shake my head and turn back to the screen. I watch as Braveman speaks in front of a group of people and talks to strangers he doesn’t know. The thought of speaking to someone outside of my family is. . . horrifying. How does someone do that? Shaking someone’s hand? Being where everyone can see you? I wished and longed to have his powers. I glanced back at my sister. She was right. Bravery isn’t real. There’s no way I could be brave.

I woke up curled up on the floor. The credits to Braveman were scrolling on the TV. I must have fallen asleep. I looked back at the couch. It was empty.

“Must’ve gone to bed,” I mumbled to myself. “I should do the same.” I started to turn off the TV when I accidentally hit the channel button, redirecting me to the new channel. I started to slide my hand to the correct button when something caught my attention.

“We have decided it would be best for us as a community if we returned to traditions from before the epidemic of 2020.” My eyes widened. Was this really what I was hearing? I turned it up to be sure. The computer-reporter began again, “Beginning the first of August, our community will go back to having in-person schooling and work programs, and social interaction will be restored.”

I felt my jaw drop. 2020? That was the year my grandma was born! I thought. We’re going back to a lifestyle from over 70 years ago? I ran to my parents room.

“Mom! Dad! Check out the news!” I yelled as I burst into their room and woke them up. “Turn on the TV! Turn it on!”

“Gosh, Olivia!” My mom said. “You almost scared the life out of me!” She sat up and rubbed her eyes. “What’s so important?” I suddenly realized how rude I had been.

“I’m sorry,” I started to back out of the room. “Maybe it’s not that important.” My dad grabbed the remote and clicked on the TV. The news was still going.

“There have been many studies over the past 10-15 years about the pros and cons of social interaction. Although keeping to yourself was once very needed to prevent the spread of a deadly virus, our recent studies have shown that being around people is crucial for healthy development of the brain.”

“What is this?” my mom interrupted. “Are we supposed to believe -”

“Shh.” my dad quieted her. He had a very serious look on his face.

“What do you mean shh? I have-”

“Shhh!” he insisted. My mom stared at him in disbelief. I watched as his face changed from serious and confused to shocked and surprised.

“Ever since 2020, our medication has provided our brains the stimulation we need, but recent studies have shown that actual social interaction is far more effective and will save millions of dollars every year.”

I think of the pill that our entire family takes everyday. It’s always been so routine, I’ve never questioned it.

“It’s good for your brain.” I recall my dad telling me once. “Take it every morning and you’ll be good to go.” That was always enough of an explanation for me. I never knew it was to replace something we were lacking.

As my mom began to realize what was going on, she began to look terrified. My dad also looked scared. But for some reason, I wasn’t scared. I felt. . . excited? I didn’t know what I was feeling. It wasn’t fear. It wasn’t bad at all. It was something I had never felt before. . .

It has been 3 months since I saw the news about returning to an old lifestyle. 4 days until the first of August. Pretty much everything on TV has been about this lifestyle. Real people have been on TV recently instead of the typical computer-voice. They stutter and their hands shake. I can’t imagine how scary being in front of a camera would be, nonetheless one where the entire country - maybe the entire world - sees you.

We have been given study materials on the old lifestyle. It’s mostly made up of pictures from old, traditional classrooms where there were over 20 students in one room at once. That blew my mind. The most people I’ve ever been in a room with at once is 5. And that’s a lot for someone my age. There were pictures of the once-busy streets of New York, the area flooded with cars and people. I knew life was different 70 years ago, but I had never known about any of this. The only history we had been taught was that there was a disease that led to a safer community where everyone stayed at home. That’s all that I’ve ever known. That’s how I grew up. That’s how my parents grew up. And that’s how their parents grew up. My deceased grandpa, who was 8 in 2020, was the last one in my family that could’ve remembered anything from the old lifestyle, but he’s gone.

As soon as it was decided to stay indoors, anything about being out of our houses was taken out of the education system in order to make sure everyone lived indoors. Food and medication was delivered to houses. Everyone worked from home. Now, the people who once wrote at-home curriculum would become teachers. Those who helped develop medications and prepared diets designed specifically for every person would become doctors. Anyone who was still in school would remain a student, but attend school with everyone else.

I was going into my junior year and my sister was going into her senior year. She was terrified. She broke down in tears and my parents had to order a special medication to calm her down. I, however, was not scared. I didn’t know what I was. As I thought this over, the movie Braveman flashed through my head. Brave? I thought. Am I. . . brave? I thought of the feeling inside of me. I wanted to go to school. I was excited to see the streets filled with people. But I remembered what my sister told me. No. I told myself. I can’t be brave. Brave isn’t real.

I woke up to the sun shining through my window. The blinds used to always be closed, but I’ve been keeping them open to get used to the sunlight. It was bright and warm, it felt unnatural. . . even though it was the only natural light there was. I put on the new clothing that had been delivered to my house yesterday morning. Jeans, tall black socks, a blue polo shirt, and a new pair of shoes. My sister had a similar outfit, but a yellow shirt. There was also a care-package sent for all of us. On the outside of the box, there was a list that read:

Contents:

1 girl’s junior school outfit - Olivia

1 girl’s senior school outfit - Chelsea

2 backpacks (includes laptop, notebook, and 2 pencils each)

1 women's work attire - Victoria

1 men’s work attire - Ben

4 nametags - Ben, Victoria, Chelsea, Olivia

4 personal cell phone

4 instruction guides

4 personal sunscreen bottles - prolonged sun exposure may cause irritation. Please apply every 2 hours to avoid sunburn

1 anxiety pill - Chelsea

4 medication pills - THIS IS YOUR LAST DOSAGE

I got dressed and applied the sunscreen. Whatever a sunburn was did not sound pleasing. The sunscreen was oily and greasy but it smelled nice. I dropped the pill into my palm and took a deep breath. For some reason knowing this was the last one was. . . relieving, almost. I had a good feeling about today. I popped my head back and swallowed it, feeling it as it made its way down my throat.

“The bus is here!” my mom shouted from across the house. I slid the sunscreen into my pocket, grabbed my instruction book and tossed it in my bag, threw the bag over my shoulders, and ran to the door. My sister came out of her room with a worried expression on her face. I stopped and turned around towards her.

“Hey, it’ll be okay.” I reassured her. She tried to smile at me, but I could tell she was still upset. I skipped through the door and smiled big at my dad.

“Excited?” he asked.

“Yeah!” I said quickly, maybe a little too quickly based on the shocked expression on his face.

“Well that’s good!” he said and he straightened his tie. “Let’s hope today goes well. . .” I could hear the uncertainty in his voice.

I got to the door of the bus and it slid open. I took a deep breath and stepped on, my dad trailing shortly behind me. There were 2 other families on the bus. I swallowed deep and I walked through the aisle, glancing at the other people on the bus. There was another girl with a blue shirt on and I smiled at her. She looked at the ground. I thought back to the instruction book. Seat B3. I remembered. I found it, sat down quickly, and eagerly tapped my foot, waiting for the bus to move. When the rest of my family was seated, we began to roll forward. My sister had the window seat, but she slumped her head down and looked at her feet. I looked past her to see the amazing outside world, the sun shining through the tinted glass.

“Passengers,” the auto-driver’s robotic voice said, “welcome to your first day of our social lifestyle. If at any point you need help, please address your handbook or simply select the blue application on your new cell phones.”

I remembered my cell phone in my pocket. My family’s contact information accessible in the yellow application, my personal information in the red application, and help from a government official in the blue application. I glanced over at my mom who was worryingly flipping through her instruction book. My dad was looking out the window like I was, with a pleasant expression on his face. My sister was still slumped in her seat, looking at her shoes. She looked up at me and I smiled at her. I watched her close her eyes, take a deep breath, and smile at me too, this time more genuine.

The bus came to a slow stop.

“Students attending freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior year, this is your destination.”

I stood up excitedly and looked at my parents. My mom cracked a wry smile at me and my dad waved me goodbye. I smiled big and walked to the front of the bus, my sister slowly trailing behind me, along with the rest of the nervous children about to go to school.

I stepped off the steps of the bus and looked up at the large building in front of me. GRANDBURY HIGH SCHOOL was carved into the front of the large, stone entrance. The students gathering in a group behind me were also gazing at the building we had never seen before. I glanced at the girl with the blue shirt and read her name tag. “REBECCA JONES”, it read. Rebecca. I thought. I’m gonna try to be friends with Rebecca. I decided. She realized I was looking at her so I tried smiling at her again. Slowly, a small smile formed on her face. She began to walk forward, so I followed.

There were kiosks set up for us to check in. I walked up to one and scanned my nametag. It buffered for a second then displayed a message. WELCOME, OLIVIA BARREN. PLEASE REPORT TO ROOM 127 - ENGLISH. A map showed the school hallways, with a green line leading me down the hallway to the right. The phone in my pocket began to vibrate, so I pulled it out of my pocket. The screen lit up with the map displaying on the kiosk. I followed the green line displayed on my phone until I reached room 127.

I walked into the room. There were already a few students sitting in their seats. We were all wearing a blue shirt, except for one lady at the front of the room who was wearing a maroon shirt. Must be the teacher. I thought to myself. I walked through the aisles of desks until I found my name. OLIVIA B it read on the tiny screen on the corner of the desk. I hung my backpack on the hook on the back of the chair, and sat down, then remembered what I had read in the instruction book. I scanned my name tag. The screen glowed green, indicating I had been marked as present.

The room began to fill up, but it remained silent. Everyone kept their eyes low, even the teacher. I watched Rebecca walk in, but she didn’t see me. When everyone’s desks had green glowing where their names were, the teacher stood at the center of the front of the room and cleared her throat.

“Hello, class.” she was sweating and her hands were shaky, but she took a deep breath and continued. “Uhh...I am Ms.Greene.” I felt like chuckling at her silly color name, but I refrained. “I will be teaching english. This will be the first class you will report to every morning.” She paused and collected her thoughts. She cleared her throat again. “Is, uh, is there anyone who would like to introduce themselves?”

Somehow the silence became even quieter. Everyone was stiff in their seats, staring at their desks. The only thing you could hear was the tapping of my foot, which was rapidly speeding up. Everyone sat there for what seemed like forever. Ms.Greene stared at her feet and waited for anything to happen.

The feeling inside of me that I had been feeling all day grew even larger. Scenes from Braveman flashed in my head. Talking in front of people. Shaking hands. Being brave. This. I thought, but it felt more like I was screaming in my head. This is it. This is your chance. Your chance to be brave. I took a deep breath and I clutched the edge of my desk. What are you waiting for? I continued to hold still. What are you waiting for?!

Suddenly, I stood up. The entire class stared at me. My teacher looked startled and terrified. Rebecca looked at me with her mouth agape. The kid next to me looked as if he had seen a ghost.

“My name is Olivia,” I say. “Olivia Barren.” I look around the room and a strange, proud happiness fills me. “It’s nice to meet all of you.” I smile big and sit back down.

That was it. I thought. That was bravery.

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sebthesnipe · 4 years

Text

The Dreamer by Whatwashernameagain An Analysis? Chapter 3 Part 2

All portions:

Chapter 1: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

Chapter 2: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

Chapter 3: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

The Dreamer

by @whatwashernameagain

Reminder: Spoilers under cut!

As Always if you have not done so please read @whatwashernameagain ‘s The Dreamer Chapter 3 before you continue. This analysis is pretty much a giant spoiler if you haven’t.

Also, you can find additional links to The Dreamer analysis on AO3 (and other works by me) here on my masterpost.

Warnings: homophobia, internalized homophobia, republican brainwashing, manipulation, mentioned pedophilia, violence, threatened sexual abuse, injuries, being pressured into sex, nakedness

Gonna just jump back in…

“Being kind as usual, no one chastised Roman for not capturing the Utilitarianist while he was recovering” (Whatwashernameagain).

Though Eva has never specifically said that Roman’s team is out to get him the dramatic irony is certainly implied. She has a way with directing the storyline through these paces to inform the reader that there is nothing ‘kind’ about Roman’s team. Whatever reason they have for not commenting on Roman’s failure to capture the Utilitarianist it is unlikely that it is out of the goodness of their hearts.

“Virgil was anxiously pacing around the bed as he came to, guilty and confused about why he’d been unable to track his friend. The poor thing, he was way too paranoid. Roman did his best to calm him” (Whatwashernameagain).

We see a bit into Virgil’s personality here. It is actually quite interesting if we pay close attention. Here Virgil is showing his anxious side. His guilt and confusion are moving him from his flat characterization (a character that is used to reveal information to push the story along) to a more rounded character. His guilt and confusion provide more insight into his emotional state, making him more developed.

Something, I find just as interesting is that the word ‘paranoid’ is used to describe him. While we as readers know that this is very fitting for the Virgil that is the personification of Anxiety. However, as a handler it is a bit… extreme. Here is a man meant to guide Roman through danger after danger. A typical person would need someone calm and collected in those intense situations. However, Virgil is not a calm and collected individual. Then again, Roman is not a typical individual. Perhaps, this opposition between the two personalities is intentional. I wouldn’t put it past Eva to think quite thoroughly through choosing Virgil as Roman’s handler, just as he was very thorough at choosing Remy as Logan’s. Roman’s… impulsivity *cough*adorable stupidity*cough* is the perfect balance for Virgil’s extreme paranoia and vice versa. For someone wanting to run into every burning building, someone jumping at every shadow can help remind him of his own mortality.

Speaking of more rounded characters, our boi Roman is making some progress himself.

“Despite not being in trouble for getting captured, the rescue had gotten to the media and was fueling the theories about the Dreamer and the Utilitarianist - to a worrying degree. It bothered Roman, since it was clearly ludicrous that he would fall for someone so irritating and immoral, but at least now that Virgil kept him updated, he wasn’t so ashamed anymore” (Whatwashernameagain).

I won’t go into our poor poor Roman’s denial again, but I don’t think it needs to be pointed out here anyways. We all see it. Though, I suppose the constant reminder is some strong foreshadowing. Though we can see Roman’s conscious opinion of Logan. He continues to call him irritating and immoral and perhaps Roman truly believes he is, though more likely subconsciously Roman find him heroic and misguided. The good news is that despite the unwanted publicity Roman is far more secure that he was prior thanks to Virgil.

Teal Swan (An American Spiritual Teacher) once said “We do not fear the unknown. We fear what we think we know about the unknown.” In Roman’s case, he was presented with a collection of hardcore BDSM fan art of himself and The Utilitarianist. The pictures themselves did not scare him, pictures themselves are not scary. However, it is what he thought he knew of the people who created them that scared him. It wasn’t until Virgil educated him that this changed. Roman’s knowledge of this ‘unknown’ grew and what he thought he knew shifted. Suddenly, these images weren’t so scary anymore. (That and he thinks he’s straight which is amusing AF).

Lillian Russell also once said “We all have a fear of the unknown. What one does with that fear will make all the difference in the world.” Roman may have allowed his fear to overpower him for a moment but he chose to stand against it and thus overcame it (with Virgil’s help of course). I realize that this is a bit off topic, but it is something that I feel needs to be said, especially now. The world around us is falling apart are there is no one hero to save us. Some people believe that this is the natural world fighting back against us, others believe it is a religious occurrence. I can’t say one way or another, but I do know that the fear is the same no matter the reasons behind this virus that is taking so many lives.

I can’t say for other countries or even other states, but the reaction to this pandemic that I have seen is heartbreaking. My family and I don’t go out, not because of fear of contracting the virus, but because of people’s reaction to the fear they feel. Fear is a strong motivator that causes conflicts among thousands of people every day. It is a virus in and of itself, breeding and spreading wherever it goes. The world is terrified, and it is our job to react appropriately to these fears, as individuals. You can’t control your neighbor’s reaction to their fear, but you can control your own and sometimes that is enough. Sometimes that enough to calm those around you. Perhaps you can be the beacon of hope that they need to find their own stability. Perhaps you can be the difference in their world.

Okay… Rant over… Back to the wonderful writing!

“Yes, the implication of being in a homosexual relationship and performing sodomy with his nemesis, something he’d been taught was impure and went against god’s wishes, still made heat rise into his cheeks, but he couldn’t help softening towards the mostly harmless fanculture” (Whatwashernameagain).

Okay, lets pay really close attention to the wording here because it is very important! Eva knows what she’s doing, the sly dog! Roman POV points out that the homosexual relationship that is painted between he and Logan is ‘something he’d been taught was impure and went against god’s wishes’. Hold up! Rewind! ‘Something he’d been taught’. No where in this section does Roman’s POV ever claim that Roman, himself, believes that it is wrong. He points out that he is taught that it is wrong, but once again we see the same impressionable boy I’ve mentioned throughout the previous chapters. A child’s thoughts is not their own, but their parents.

Since the last time I mentioned this, I have actually looked further into research behind this view (having children of my own, I find it even more compelling). A study from Cambridge University, published in 2013 points out that “Children are more likely to adopt their family's political views when politics is important to their parents, and the children of politically engaged parents tend to become politically engaged adults” (Dinas, Elias). Is this starting to sound familiar? Well, hold onto your trousers (if you’re wearing any) because it gets better. “When these transmission dynamics are considered together, an important hypothesis follows: the children who are most likely to initially acquire the political views of their parents are also most likely to later abandon them as a result of their own engagement with the political world” (Dinas, Elias). So, Roman is most likely getting his political views from his father through he’s more likely to lose those views as he gets older. Perhaps, we are seeing this now? He has never claimed to have the same beliefs, though he has pointed out that he has been thought them. So, the question is, when? When, if ever, will Roman discard these beliefs?

Well, other research shows that “Young people from politicised homes may be more likely to acquire an initial partisan orientation from their parents, but they are also more likely to abandon that preference as they enter adulthood and experience politics for themselves” (2013). So, most children who have adopted their parent’s belief like Roman has tend to shed those beliefs as they experience the real world and grow into adults. Here is where things change for RoRo. Firstly, he's never really experienced the world without his father or the team his father has provided to look after him. So, no real-world experience. Secondly, from what we have gathered Roman is still fairly young. Most likely, he’s in his mid-twenties, Logan being around thirty. So, Roman has also only been an adult for a few years now. That combined with the fact that he is just now breaking away from his father’s influence long enough to experience the world around him makes his realization that he does not have the same belief system that he once shared with his father inevitable. My only concern is that the possibility of Roman having an identity crisis due to his discovery of an isolated belief system. The poor boy is going to have a hard-enough time when he realizes he is gay… but to have his beliefs stripped away and rebuilt after defining himself by them so completely is going to be harder than anything he has ever faced.

I have barely managed to get through two paragraphs… Oof… We’re going to have to skim a bit if I’m going to get through this chapter in just four parts. We see Roman’s view points on LGBTQ+ community and his purity that we love so much! Then we see Karen’s (-.- You’re so F*ing static Karen!) view point of it. She suggests that they pray for them and their ‘wrong’ doings. Which would send me on a rant about ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ and the human constructions that they are… and morality… and we’re just going to skip all that ^.^.

I’m going to brush past a lot of the dialog here but there are somethings that I want to touch on. Firstly, Eva uses verbal irony so beautifully that it hurts. Karen mentions that the LGBTQ+ community’s allegiance shows ‘the damage [the community’s] lifestyle had done to [the community’s] morals’ and asks Roman if he wants to ‘help people see a more healthy way to live’ (Whatwashernameagain). What Karen is really implying is that all of these people are sinful and need to be punished for the atrocities of their life choices. Karen’s pleasant tone and careful wording helps conceal the real meaning of her words which makes the verbal irony here quite beautifully written. Though what do we expect from Eva?

Before Roman can give his full reply, she cuts him off like the bitch she is…

I might be projecting a bit… I apologize…

Though, I also want to point out that during the interaction between Karen and Roman she never refers to him as anything but ‘dear’. Now, this is probably a me thing, but I can’t help myself. So, if you’ve read all of my analysis, you’d know that I have a background in Law Enforcement. Why is this important? Well, one of the first lessons you learn as a woman in Law Enforcement is that you don’t ever, EVER, allow someone to get away with calling you anything but Officer, Ma’am, or by your last name. Now, it might not seem that important to most people, but how can you expect someone to respect you if they continuously call you ‘girl’, ‘baby’, ‘sweetheart’, or ‘dear’. These are pet names. There is no respect to be had when someone is calling you by a pet name… at least not in a professional sense (romantic relationships are a different story. My husband can call me baby anytime he wants, and I still know that he respects me). Granted, there are some people that do this unconsciously. I’ve seen it mostly in older men who call every woman younger than them ‘sugar’ or ‘darlin’.

Still, there is a problem presented here. I’ve mentioned a number of times throughout this analysis of our thoughts effect on the outside world (specifically water and thus ourselves). A person can mean no disrespect by calling someone in an authoritative position ‘dear’ and yet by doing so, they effect their own thoughts, even subconsciously, resulting in a disrespect they may not even be aware of.

Karen provides us with a prime example of this. She calls Roman ‘dear’ because she has no respect for him. In her eyes, Roman is nothing but a tool to be used for her own gain. He holds no respect from her. He is merely a child to be manipulated however she sees fits. Hence, while she is maneuvering the hero to where she wants him, she refers to him as ‘dear’.

The next issue is that Roman is putty in her hands. The next paragraph is a reminder of Roman’s gullible nature. We see him easing into Karen’s manipulations and blaming himself once more. We see the same self-deprecation that has become a Roman original. It reminds us that Roman’s insecurities are yet another tool that his team uses against him. I believe I have mention something similar to this before, but in the words of Napoleon Hill “The only limitation is that which one sets up in one’s own mine.” In other words, Roman is limiting himself with his self-insulting nature. Once he allows himself to let go of that he will be a force to reckon with, someone even Karen’s bitch-ass can’t handle.

However, we see another indication that Roman’s views no longer match up with his team’s. Though it is obvious once again that his tendencies to put himself down really hinder him from being the hero that he has always dreamed of being.

“The fact that he wasn’t all that bothered by the shipping was probably making it worse. He was forgetting that his personal opinion wasn’t what mattered here” (Whatwashernameagain).

We also see him try to reaffirm his thoughts of Logan. He has to remind himself that his current thoughts of Logan are not what they are supposed to be. Logan is the Utilitarianist and the Utilitarianist is still his archenemy. Roman, still in denial, is trying to recenter himself for the task at hand. Of course, this also brings up the sense of paranoia that Karen is helping sew inside him. This conflict of course is more than just what it seems.

Roman’s dilemma of right and wrong is also a battle of his sexuality. It is a battler of his views. It is a battle of who he is. Is Roman the man that found comfort in another man’s arms? Or is Roman the man who subjected himself to torture to be what he thought the world needed? Is he larger than life or at the end of a day is he as vulnerable to his emotions as the rest of us are?

We also see more of that dramatic irony as Karen plants the notion that the Utilitarianist did not help individuals. While, for the most part this is true, there is more to this. We know that as the Utilitarianist Logan pays no attention to the individual. In that aspect Karen is correct. However, Logan has shown on more than one occasion, his appreciation for Roman’s work and his appreciation for Roman himself. This would imply that Karen is correct; The Utilitarianist does not help individuals just as the Dreamer would never seek the help of a villain. However, Logan would help an individual, just as Roman would seek comfort from another. These men are more than their uniform despite what Karen would have them believe.

Eva moves into foreshadowing with a simple sentence, a perfectly places three word sentence that hits us all where it hurts:

“Roman’s heart sank” (Whatwashernameagain).

Whatever is about to come is gonna hurt…

Karen claims they have found a way to fix the entire situation caused by the rescue… Still calling my bae ‘dear’ -.- Most of us know where this is going and…

Susan…

By the way, I love these horribly generic cis white names that Eva keeps coming up with. It’s hilarious. As for Susan’s description…

“Flipping open the file, Roman found that the solution was called Susan. She was a white woman with blonde hair and cornflower-blue eyes. Upper middle class. Conservative” (Whatwashernameagain).

I have so many issues with this… First off, leave it to these assholes to chiose a nazi’s wet dream for our boi. (No offense Eva, I love you and I think it was a perfect choice <3) So, to start off, they chose a woman that conform’s to America’s unrealistic standards of beauty. I’m sure she where’s far too much make up and could have any man in the world. This, of course, is in no way a shot at woman that look like this. Every person is beautiful, and I will not body shame someone no matter how they look. However, it is obvious that Eva created Susan to conform to these standards and thus needs to be addressed. The fact that Susan is Middle class is also a deliberate choice in the sense that if they chose a woman that was any higher Roman would be seen as greedy and shallow and if he were to be seen with someone of the lower class, he would lose funding. As for Conservative… Well… I don’t think I need to say anything here.

I’m going to move on before I get too annoyed with this. As we move forward, Karen notes that Roman looks spooked. This is call indirect characterization, which is when another character tells us something about a character. In this case Eva is using Karen to reinforce that Roman is uncomfortable with the opposite sex or romantic relations in general. Though as a reader we already are aware of the ship this fic is based around, so we know that the later probably isn’t true. Karen also refers to Susan as ‘A little friend’ which is very demeaning and implies that Karen sees Susan the same way she sees Roman, as a tool. It is obvious that Karen believes Roman can be persuaded by sex though his uncomfortable nature certainly speaks otherwise.

This also highlights a bit of the Right wing’s thoughts on women in general and how they should be treated though I feel as if I should refrain from pushing my own opinions on their beliefs into this analysis. However, in extremists’ case (both men and women) have repeated claimed that women have a specific ‘role’ in society, and it is not equal to their male counter parts. Now, the fact that I disagree may label me as a feminist, but I prefer the label of equalist as you will note when we get into the heartier bits of this chapter.

I once again want to remind everyone of the warning attached to this chapter. They are there for a reason, please pay attention to them.

“Roman stared at her, trying to find words for the sudden fear he felt. Laughter about his shocked expression filled the room, then quieted and finally tapered off into awkward silence.

“I… I need to think about it.” Roman had finally stuttered. Karen’s smile had grown forced” (Whatwashernameagain).

Here we see Roman faced with fear that is not surprising in an individual that has not realized he is homosexual. In fact, it is a very real and horrible feeling. I mentioned in my last post the fact that mental anguish can feel worse than physical and here we see a man being mentally tortured.

In a previous chapter I also discussed Roman’s inability to watch porn. Imagine, if you will, a man who has not accepted himself for who he is and can not allow himself the thought of two men together. Therefore, gay porn does not exist to him. Instead the only porn he knows of is male+female. The thought of sex with a female makes him uncomfortable and/or squeamish. He does not need to realize that he is gay to know this and instead probably thinks there is something wrong with himself. So, perhaps it is not the Roman is different from every other (sexually driven (because I realize there are different sexualities that do not have the same urges)) American’s out there, he is not alone, it is just that he doesn’t understand his own preferences. Our poor baby has never been taught how to cope in a heterosexual driven world and thus buries his true self from everyone including himself. This would make the forced relationship between himself and Susan all the more painful, no doubt.

As if to prove my point, Eva describes the room’s laughter at Roman’s hesitance. No doubt they know he is gay even if he doesn’t and finds his torture amusing. Though, our poor naïve RoRo probably doesn’t see it that way.

““Think about it? But of course, dear. We just want you to have a coffee together, go on a walk. If she’s not the right one for you, we can surely find another lady friend for you. Is it the hair color? The figure? We are very flexible for your preferences. Within a reasonable limit, of course.” She soothed him, patting his hand again” (Whatwashernameagain).

Karen of course, senses these things and tries to reassure Roman. She reminds him that their relationship doesn’t have to be sexual, in her subtle way. She also adds that if he doesn’t like Susan, they can find someone else more suited to his needs. However, she pointedly adds that it has to be ‘another lady friend’, which of course would imply that she is aware the Roman might be gay as well, and that it is unacceptable.

We also see Karen discussing women as if they can be ordered off a menu. I’ll take a five four Hispanic woman, hold the curves! Bitch please! You’re an over glorified pimp at this point! No one should be characterized in this manner, men, women, or non-binary! It is an outrage and the fact that it is so upsetting while still so subtle is another nod to how amazingly skilled the author is. Eva astounds us once again by creating a realistic subtle lifelike villain. Brava, Brava!

Roman sees Karen’s intended words as well, which is a development for the naïve man. He sees exactly what his limitations are:

“A reasonable limit meaning white, Christian, conservative, born American, cis, heterosexual female, his mind supplied. Suddenly, he felt terrible. His stomach hurt” (Whatwashernameagain).

By choosing a woman of these standards, Roman would be checking off all the boxes for his far Right winged team. If he misses any of these boxes it could send the wrong message. If she’s anything but heterosexual, then he supports LGBTQ+ communities. If she’s of any other culture, then he supports the minorities. If she is not conservative, then neither is he.

This is a big moment for the hero. He is finally grasping the idea of just how trapped he is there. He may be one of the strongest people in the world but the chains around him are heavier than those of a man in prison.

Still, fear is a powerful motivator and when faced with too much our instincts kick in. Roman faces his fight or flight instincts and fighting is not an option. So, he gives in. He agrees to Susan because what else can he do?

Still, ignoring the comment about men being men, that Eva know doubt added to hammer that last nail in Karen’s well-deserved coffin, we see more of Roman’s inner turmoil with his sexuality. “He tried not to think about the disastrous attempts at dating women, of the many nights he’d prayed to god to make him stop having those terrible thoughts, about his fear of going to hell for his dreams. He’d thought he’d escaped the pressure of going out with women when he’d dedicated his life to fighting for justice.

He buried himself under his blanket and tried not to think of her. This nice, normal girl, and about how wrong he felt imagining touching her” (Whatwashernameagain).

This gives me pause. Up until now it has been Roman’s unaware of his sexuality and at first seems much of the same; and yet, we see him mention dreams. What sort of dreams could Roman be having? Wet dreams of a certain vigilante? Probably nothing so lude, but a girl could dream. Regardless, it is possible that Roman is aware that he is homosexual and is simple repressing the knowledge for his own safety. Because, in a world as hostile as the one he is experiencing… Coming out can be as dangerous as stepping into the middle of a gang war…

“Children with Politically Engaged Parents Are More Likely to Deviate from Their Parents' Political Views in Adulthood.” EUROPP, 17 May 2013, blogs.lse.ac.uk/europpblog/2013/05/17/children-with-politically-engaged-parents-are-more-likely-to-deviate-from-their-parents-political-views-in-adulthood/#Author.

Dinas, Elias. “Why Does the Apple Fall Far from the Tree? How Early Political Socialization Prompts Parent-Child Dissimilarity.” British Journal of Political Science, vol. 44, no. 4, 2014, pp. 827–852., doi:10.1017/S0007123413000033.

Whatwashernameagain. “The Dreamer - Chapter 1.” Hello Guys Gals And Non Binary Friends, 8 Sept. 2019, https://whatwashernameagain.tumblr.com/post/187581477262/the-dreamer-chapter-1.

#The Dreamer #literary analysis #analysis #so long!#Spoot is a nerd

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locria-writes · 4 years

Text

i have no idea how to fit in rosamunde’s backstory into aab, so i just wrote it out lol

The most valuable lesson that her late father ever taught her was to survive.

Survival, he told her, meant being able to blend in wherever and with whomever. Survival meant discarding dignity and honour, and other such lofty notions that had long been ingrained in her. To survive was to simply be alive, to thrive was to be living. Living could come later, but only if one was alive.

Rosamunde had been but seven years old when he told her this, and she couldn’t help but blurt out, “Why aren’t you telling this to Gisbert and Ernst?”

Her father smiled gently, if not a bit forlornly, smoothing her hair without a word. Then he replied, “Because my dear Roeschen is a girl.”

She frowned. “So?”

“People can be cruel and unfair. You won’t have the same opportunities as your brothers should anything happen. They can take up a sword and fight to survive, but you won’t be able to do the same.”

“But why not?”

“That’s a lesson for another day, but you already see it, don’t you? When you study with the Royal Tutor, are there any other girls around? Don’t people give you strange looks when you accompany the princes?”

It was true… People raised a brow at her whenever she studied at the castle. Sometimes there would be unkind snickers, pointed fingers, but she always ignored them. Her grandfather once said that only fools mock an educated woman.

Her father pulled out a silver bangle from his jacket and slipped it onto her wrist. It was old and deceptively simple. The engravings felt like letters, but she couldn’t quite decipher what they meant.

“What is this?”

He kissed her temple. “It’s a lucky charm.”

When she was ten, her family was exiled, stripped of all their glory and wealth, and sent to the bitter northern border. It was a bit hard to leave behind her friends, Prince Volker had hugged her desperately, begging her to stay because he would marry her, but she didn’t let it show. Weakness was a necessity for it kept one from becoming too arrogant, but it was also necessary to keep it hidden from all but one’s most trusted. That was what her father taught his soldiers, and ultimately, he passed it on to his children.

Life was difficult at first – she had grown up surrounded by servants, but neither her mother nor father complained about it, so she decided there was no point in it either. They were alive, they were surviving, and for Rosamunde, that was enough.

Her father was restricted in what he was allowed to do, where he was allowed to go, so he made and sold wood carvings. Her mother was a homemaker and sold her embroidery. Her older brothers did odd jobs around the small village, and Rosamunde helped her mother at home. She didn’t know how, but they scraped by. Their home wasn’t large, but it was clean and functional. They didn’t have a proper farm to earn money with, but they had some animals, and a somewhat fertile garden to work with. It wasn’t the life of glittering wealth they had before, but it was a life she could live with for the rest of her life.

She was twelve when her father taught her his last lesson.

“Roeschen, do you think revenge is a good or bad thing?”

She stopped sewing and tried to gauge her father’s expression. It was dark, save for the flickering light of the hearth. “It’s…revenge comes from hatred, so isn’t it inherently a bad thing?”

“It is indeed.” He was quiet for a moment. “Is justice a good or bad thing?”

“It’s a good thing.”

“Then if a man seeks retribution for his brother’s murder, is it justice or revenge?”

“It’s justice.”

“Is it justice if he takes matters into his own hands and kills the murderer himself? Is it justice if he makes it his mission to make the murderer’s life as miserable as possible without killing him?”

She didn’t know how to answer. Her father laughed quietly as he reached over and patted her head. “It’s all right if you don’t have an answer, Roeschen. You’ll find your own as you grow older.”

The next day, soldiers came with a warrant for her father. Her father didn’t seem surprised, and even laughed jovially at the sight of them. Her mother remained stoic, but Rosamunde could see her trembling as they took Gisbert and Ernst.

A few days passed, and no word came from the capital. Realistically, Rosamunde knew that it would be a while, but she couldn’t bear not knowing. They were a bit big, but she threw on some of her brothers’ old clothing, and rode off to find out what happened.

She was afraid every step of the journey, but she was never taught to fear being afraid. Wise men feared, foolish men feared not.

The capital was abuzz when she arrived, and to her dismay, it was for her father’s execution.

Everything felt numb as she watched her father’s head roll away. He dedicated his life to the Crown, he wanted nothing more than his country – his home – to be the best it could be, yet he was merely labelled a treasonous man and met a bloody and inglorious fate instead.

It was unfair, but life was rarely fair.

She should have cried, should have screamed, should have done something, but all her body could do was stare blankly. Even as the crowd dispersed, she remained rooted to her spot, unmoving and unfeeling. The only solace she found was that at least Gisbert and Ernst weren’t there, but what if they had already died? Or worse? Her poor mother…her poor younger siblings…

“Rosamunde…?”

There was a woefully familiar pair of pale eyes before her, and no she could not feel anything anymore and least of all to a murderer’s son. He tentatively reached toward her, laying a gentle hand on her shoulder, and please dear Providence don’t touch her because that was all it would take to shatter her.

She said nothing, but she remembered kicking and punching, lashing out however she could at him and it wasn’t his fault his only fault was to be the Crown’s son, and she fled like a coward.

When she arrived back home and told her mother, the older woman didn’t shed a tear either, couldn’t shed a tear. She fell ill, and never recovered, but was never allowed the mercy of death. Ernst came back after her, both legs broken and barely on the mend, and suddenly she was the only one who could provide for her broken family.

Rosamunde never accepted charity, never liked being looked down upon with pity. Her father taught her to survive, taught her that revenge and justice were in the eye of the judge, and by Providence, she would make her own revenge. His enemies wanted him to fall, wanted his family (she briefly wondered if it was one of her maternal grandfather’s enemies, but the man was a snake through and through, so she doubted there were even any left alive) to suffer, so she would deny them that pleasure. She would survive, survive until she thrived.

It mattered not what job she could do, so long as she could do it. If it were a woman’s work, a man’s work, she would do it. So what if her own life was robbed of her own wishes? If her younger brother and sister could thrive, she would be happy. She sold the silver bangle, albeit incredibly reluctantly, but she wasn’t selfish enough to keep it. One day, she told herself, she’d find a way to get it back.

Dignity, honour, morality, who cared? Did dignity put food on the table? Did honour keep the hearth going? Did morality entail survival? Her father was the most dignified, most honourable, most moral man in the world, yet he was undone by the scheming of others.

It took a long time, but at last, she found some sort of peace with herself, and life was difficult, but not unbearable. At least until they showed up again.

They cajoled her into agreeing to heal Prince Volker’s leg, pestered her until they finally found a crack in the walls she carefully built. She always hated Augustin and expected such impudence from him, but from Prince Volker? He had always been good at whittling her down until she was at her most vulnerable.

“Don’t you want to come back with us?” To his credit, he barely flinched when she haphazardly cleaned the wound.

“I’ve left that life.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I don’t want to.”

He was quiet for a bit. “I meant it back then when I said I wanted to marry you.”

She scoffed. “We were children. It meant nothing.”

“It meant everything.” He grabbed her hand. “I won’t marry the Rosenthal girl…I won’t marry anyone other than you.”

She felt pathetic in that moment, letting his mere touch elicit warmth in her chest. She always liked him when she was a child, he made beautiful and wonderful promises to her, but that wasn’t how the world worked. She still liked him, but it felt like a familiar and nostalgic ache somewhere in the back of her heart now.

“If you think wooing me will convince me otherwise, I suggest you stop now.”

“I’m being serious, Roeschen.” His thumb traced her palm. “You’ve suffered out here…Aunt Elfriede…Ernst…all of you have suffered a grave injustice. Don’t you want to clear Uncle Rudolf’s name? Don’t you want to return to your old life?”

In truth, of course she did. What fool would choose a life of hardship over one of ease and comfort? But she was always taught to never want for things that could not be. She wouldn’t want to return to her old life because it was impossible. She wouldn’t want to marry and be in love with Prince Volker because it was impossible. “If you’re going to continue spouting hogwash, I think you should leave now before I’m tempted to chop off your leg.”

That failed to deter him. Instead, he pulled out a familiar silver bangle and held it before her. “This is yours, isn’t it? Uncle Rudolf gave it to you.”

“W-where…?”

“You pawned it, and I was looking for your family’s heirlooms. Come back to the capital with us, Roeschen. Even if…even if you don’t wish to publicly clear Uncle Rudolf’s name, don’t you want to at least help us figure out what happened? Don’t you want to avenge his indignant death?” He leaned a bit closer and said in a quieter voice, “Don’t you want to see Gisbert again?”

Her father wouldn’t want this; her father would call it a fool’s delusion. He would want her to survive, not to fight over sentimentality, but Rosamunde wasn’t her father. She wasn’t that strong.

She closed her eyes, murmuring a quiet apology. “I’ll go then.”

#aab snippets #aab rosamunde #aab volker #aab augustin #lmao volker's a simp #deadass tho she's too good for both of them dump their asses #dry cough and nasal congestion combo is the worst i swear i threw out my back last night #i just wanna sleep laying down why does my chest gotta do me dirty like that unless i'm at a 60 degree angle smh #i wanna say it's allergies but idk i get this dry cold at least once a year #anyway hope you guys are coping okay and hopefully when i get some good sleep i can finish chapter two bc it's killing me #also won't be answering asks until i can get my second braincell working dw i see it

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cupidsmusings · 4 years

Text

The Chained Goddess

Description: Eisuke Ichinomiya had it all. Money, power, and looks. He wanted for not. Some wondered how he did it. How was he able to accomplish so much at such a young age? Rumors that were joked amongst some of the wealthy individuals that knew him were that he sold his soul to the devil. They were almost correct in that aspect. It was not a devil he sold his soul to. He hadn’t even sold his soul to anyone. He was just lucky enough to find a rumored vase and rich enough to purchase it.

Rating: PG-13

Series: The Chained Goddess

Chapter 2: While the Master’s away the Goddess will play.

Couple: Reader insert, but unsure who the love interest is yet

Author’s note: Due to future chapters, most of them will become R rated for NSFW content. For now, though it’ll continue to be PG-13 ^^

A giggle here and a small inquiry there, she traveled through what was a new world to her with eyes alight with wonder. Women were permitted to higher learning, which had been rare, almost unheard of before she was trapped inside the vase. She was still unused to how they wore such revealing clothing. And there was no odor on anyone. It was as if they were all rich enough to acquire expensive oils to mask their stench.

“Hey, Eisuke,” she whispered as she hovered behind him. “When did women start to get an education? It seems that a decision was made while I was imprisoned that allowed women to attend to their schooling like men.”

“Usually only wealthy women could get an education at first, as I’m sure you’re aware. Or were you trapped even before then?” He waited to respond to her when he pulled out his cell phone, an interesting device that one, too bad he wouldn’t let her hold it. Something about “not trusting her”. When she shook her head he continued. “Well as time passed countries allowed more and more women to attend university. Now it’s the norm for that to happen.”

“Interesting….Interesting.” She nodded her head, her eyes honing in on the phone pressed against his ear. “What are the subjects they teach now in… University.” What an odd word. University. To be honest, she could care less about the subjects, but it was best to keep him talking so she could snag his phone from him while he was too preoccupied talking to her.

As he talked she made hums to let him know she was listening. All the while she floated from his left side to his right so she could grasp the phone with ease. Her fingers inched forward and right when she was about to graze the pretty piece of technology the contraption was pulled away from his ear and hidden in his jacket pocket. As she stewed to herself she paid little attention to who Eisuke was talking to. She wasn’t asking for much. She merely wanted to observe it. Wanted to call someone. Wanted to send someone a text. Wanted to play with it.

“Oh really. Thank you.” Eisuke laughed.

That was when she removed herself from her sulking state and floated around the girl that was talking to Eisuke so she could get a better look at him. He was also smiling. Ew. Forced smiles were so boring. She floated back over to Eisuke and sat on his right shoulder.

“Your smile is not reaching your eyes. It is very creepy.” She said and laid her chest across the crown of his head in an overdramatized fashion. “Try thinking of something that actually makes you happy. Your smile will not appear so creepy then.”

“If you’ll excuse me, I have a class to get to.” He excused himself with a politeness that was dripping with borderline annoyance.

The girl seemed not to notice and just gave him a charming smile before she walked in the opposite direction.

“Your input isn’t needed.” He almost growled. “A servant shouldn’t speak to their master that way anyways.”

“I thought I was your assistant?” She asked and floated in front of him.

Her legs reached towards the sky and her head dangled upside down in front of his own.

“You don’t seem to have the discipline to be an assistant. You’re actually no better than an untrained dog.” He scoffed as he began to walk up the steps to the building his next class was in.

“I feel as if you are trying to insult me.” She mused allowed.

Was he insulting her just because she pointed out a flaw? Oh was this a masculine pride type of scenario. She had dealt with that before. Many of the gods were prideful beings after all.

“My apologies, master. I did not mean to upset you, master.” She said and straighten her body to right-side-up.

Was that a good enough of an apology? Sometimes it took more for a god to forgive her, but gods were known to be more prideful than humans.

“I can’t tell whether you’re mocking me or not.”

“I am being genuine.”

“And here I thought a goddess would be more prideful.”

“An assistant, oh I am sorry, a servant, does not have the right to be prideful.”

He squinted at her then and studied her. Which was honestly odd because this was the first time he’d ever done so. One would think he would have begun his studying of her when she was freed from the vase.

“I don’t think you’re mocking me, but I also don’t think you’re taking the entire thing seriously.” He sighed and climbed even more stairs that would take him to the third floor of the building.

“Oh, I am not.” She told him flagrantly and flew to the top of the stairs. “I just thought it would be best to quell your male pride. I am very aware of how much pride means to a male.”

“You’re actually very rude, you know that.” He told her as he brushed passed her.

Well, brushed through her was more like it. While she was in this form she was more so a ghost than a living being.

“Rude may be I, but you are a man that would throw me away if given a better deal.” She hummed as she floated after him and oh my, the smirk he sent her way sent a thrilling jolt through her body. Her tongue swiped at her bottom lip as she felt her heart pulse in suspense.

“What could be better than a genie in a bottle?” He asked her, his voice low and husky.

“Why I do not believe there is anything more fruitful for a human to obtain.” She responded with her own little smile that spoke of her amusement.

He continued to smirk at her, but his was far more wicked than her own.

It was later that night when she found herself alone in the apartment she’d have to learn to call her own. She wanted to join Eisuke on his little outing but he had refused and ordered her to remain home. Well, technically he said in a stern voice that she must, “Remain here and don’t even think of following me.” What a rude human! Like she wanted to follow him anyways.

She flipped over from her stomach and onto her back so the ceiling could be the recipient of her annoyed glare. He was amusing sure, but he thought himself so important. It wasn’t that she wanted to follow him but that she wanted to further explore the new world which she had missed grow to such a modern society. She positioned herself so her head hung over the side of the bed. Her gaze now glued to the vase that was placed on a dresser. The thought of seeing the magical chain caused the golden energy to form. Another chain formed on her wrist and outstretched across the room, through the wall to ceiling window and outside to the city below. He was out there, her master, having so much fun while she lay there bored.

“He never ordered me to remain still like some doll.” She declared as she shot up into a sitting position.

He may have ordered her to stay there but he never told her that she couldn’t do what she wished while inside. Mischief danced across her irises as she got her to her feet. What could she do that would cause him turmoil? His face was very endearing when he was glaring in irritation. A shiver skittered down her spine and her insides quivered with an unknown emotion.

With pep in her step, she exited the room and entered his office so she could get a hold of the computer, a device Eisuke had never given her permission to use but never ordered her to reframe from touching it. She took a sit in the wing-back chair and had a little fun spinning herself around and around and around and around. Around she went, laughing joyously to herself, that was until she found herself too dizzy to perform the act anymore.

“What a fun piece of furniture.” She mused aloud to herself as she focused her gaze to steady.

The room no longer tilting this way and that, she focused on typing in the password that would gain her access to all the delicious fun she would be able to give herself. With honing her godly powers onto knowing the password, she was successful in typing it incorrectly her first try. She had never taken note of how Eisuke was able to use the thing, but how hard could a small electric box be?

Not very hard, actually. With just a few random clicks she was able to make it onto what must have been the InterWeb. She was originally going to browse the internet without any clear motive until she found something interesting. It was an advertisement, with words scrawled across it in pretty pink letters, “Looking for fun? Why not give us a call and let us have fun with you”. Oh? She let her head lull to the side as she contemplated the intriguing invitation. Entertainers were just what she needed. It would also be best if they stayed late enough for Eisuke to walk in on them all having fun.

She dialed the number that was written across the add and when a voice sounded from the receiver she almost leapt out of the chair. It would indeed take some getting used to such a device.

“Hello, I would like to request some people from your establishment.” She was direct and to the point and waited with excitement as they asked her how many she wished to join her in her night of fun. “Three is fine.”

When the call ended she shot up from the chair and glided to the front entrance. What kind of games would they play? Hide-n-seek was a rather fun one she enjoyed playing with her father. She let her gaze roam over the apartment in her mind’s eye and it was large enough for such a game. Perhaps the human race had invented other such fun games? If so she couldn’t wait to try them.

As she stood in the corridor pondering what games had been invented since her imprisonment a loud ring broke her from her thoughts. They had arrived! She made sure to have her feet firmly planted on the floor. It wouldn’t do if they all left once seeing a bizarre woman floating above them. No indeed. She skipped to the front door and opened it up with a charming smiling.

“Good evening!” She smiled as she ushered them inside.

“It is my first time using such a service so I am not privy to what we should do. I was thinking perhaps we could play a game of hide-n-seek until we can think of another game that would be more fun.” She told them as she showed them to the living room. She gasped as a thought raced across her mind and she clasped her hands together in excitement. “The winner could pick the next game, yes? A little competition is good for such games!”

Now she truly was excited! It had probably been centuries since she played such games. She wouldn’t even use her powers and would play like a genuine human. It wasn’t even much of a challenge to her. She was amazing at hiding. Her father was never able to find her and he was King of the Heavens!

“Hide-n-seek?” One asked.

He was the tallest of the three, but not the most well-built. The most well-built was probably the shortest of the three. The one with the best face was the man of average height.

“Yes!” She nodded enthusiastically.

“I don’t think she knows what the advertisement was really for,” Small-guy stated and looked at the other two with a look of amusement but a hint of exasperation flashed across his eyes before he looked to her. “Did you think the advertisement meant that we would actually be playing board games together?”

“Board games?” She mumbled and tilted her head to the side, her lips pursed. “Never heard of such things before. Are they fun?”

“You’ve never played a board game?” Average-guy asked, dumbstruck.

“I do not believe that I have.”

The three looked to one another, all perplexed. Was it really strange that she had never played a board game? These board games sure must have been a favourite amongst humans.

“Let us play hide-n-seek first!” She declared. “The winner can decide what game to play next. If any of you wish to play a board game you may suggest it then. But how to decide who is the seeker?”

Her eyebrows furrowed in thought as she looked to the three men in front of her.

“I’ll be it…. I guess.” Tall-guy stated rather awkwardly.

What an adorable human.

“Any room in the apartment not up for grabs?” Short-guy asked as he cracked his knuckles.

“Nope! Every room is fine to hide in!” She informed him and readied herself to go hide once tall-guy started the countdown.

Once he uttered the number 50 she raced for her hiding spot. Hide-n-seek must have been just as much fun for them as it was for her because they had played it none stop since their arrival. It truly was fun. Too bad they had all started to run out of hiding places, for now, she and short-guy were sharing a hiding spot in a closet.

“I didn’t want to say anything at first,” Short-guy started in a whisper. “But you really don’t know what we actually do, do you?”

“What do you mean?” She asked her voice also in a low whisper.

That was when he moved closer. His fingers, coarse and warm, lightly played with her smooth ones.

“We’re more so entertainers of the… Sexual sort.” He purred and pressed a feather-like kiss on her collar bone.

Oh. Oh!

“My apologies! I honestly had no inclination of that kind.” She apologized.

“We could play a different kind of game while we’re here.”

“Does this game have any lewd undertones?”

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to.” He started, his voice low, husky, and very alluring. “But I really want to.”

She had never done anything of that nature while in the Heaven’s. Her father had forbidden such matters. It wasn’t as if he was purposely trying to keep her pure, but more so that he did not think anyone suitable for her. Now with the opportunity to try something so daring with someone whose profession was that of pleasure, she couldn’t think of a better opportunity. She draped her arms over his shoulders and dipped her head down to whisper in his ear, in a way that she hoped was also alluring, “I would not mind at all.”

It must have been the correct way to seduce someone because the smirk he gave her sent her skin scrawling in delight. He pressed her against the wall, which pressed the primly pressed suits to scrunch up behind her. Both his hands gently cupped her face while he brought his lips close to her own. So close were they to kissing that when light from the bedroom broke the darkness she realized that they were still in the midst of hide-and-seek.

“Looks like we were found.” Short-guy chuckled, which garnered a giggle from her.

“Yes, I do believe we have been.” She hummed and stepped around him when he pulled back to give her room to do so.

A figure stood in the doorway that was not of the one that was the seeker. The contrast from the light outside the closet made it hard to see who it truly was until she reached closer to him.

“Eisuke!” She all but shouted with glee. She was so excited in fact that she didn’t pick up on the flare in his eyes or the irritated downturn of his lips. “Guess what we’re playing!”

“Seven minutes in heaven?” He asked, rather exasperated.

She again didn’t catch on to the heavy glare that he swept over her and to how that glare hardened when it landed on short-guy.

“No silly,” she laughed and skipped forward. “We were playing hide-‘n-seek. Would you like to play as well?”

“What I would like is for the last remaining gigolo to leave my home.” His words were harsh and it was then that {Name} took note of his less than pleasant mood.

“Gigolo?” She mumbled and tilted her head to the side in thought. “Is that what sex workers are called now and days?”

Short-guy gave a shrug and a lazy smirk her way. “I know when I’m not wanted. Too bad though.”

The wink he sent her way had her legs feeling of jelly.

“Yes. What a disappointment.” Was Eisuke’s bland reply.

She, being the ever so gracious hostess, walked him to the front door. He turned to her once he stood in the hallway outside the apartment.

“If you ever need me, you know where to call.” He gave her a wolfish grin. “I wouldn’t mind treating you to a good time…”

The door was promptly slammed in his face before he could finish his sentence. Her eyes traveled from the hand that was placed against the door to the face of its owner.

“I do not see why you are so angry. I had nothing to do and it was not as if I knew they were “gigolo’s”. I simply thought they were entertainers.” She explained to him and opted to float in the air once more.

He merely arched a brow at her before he walked passed her. She, of course, followed him. He walked into his closet and looked over the clothes they had crumpled and it was then that she took notice of the few pieces of suit shirts that had fallen off their hangers and were now strewn about the floor.

“Did you two fuck in my closet?” He asked as he picked up each shirt.

“What a vulgar thing to say. But, no, we did not have sex in your closet. We were close to kissing each other though. It is too bad, he looked like he would given me a wonderful kiss.” She assured him.

“Fine. Get rid of these clothes that both you and he touched.” He ordered as he practically shoved his way past her.

“How would you propose I do that?”

“Burn them. Toss them in the trash. Use your imagination.”

She more so heard than saw him shut the master bathroom door. Despite how normally he shut the door, it still gave the sense of him slamming it. Was it really wrong of her to invite people over to entertain her? It was his fault for leaving her alone. She looked down at the clothes before she let her gaze move to the ones that were barely hanging onto their hangers. With a dramatic sigh, she snapped her fingers and watched with mild satisfaction as the clothes disappeared into nothingness.

#kissed by the baddest bidder #voltage inc #eisuke ichinomiya

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dirtydobrik · 5 years

Text

balance - d.d.

plot: the reader and david have a hard time balancing their lives and careers with their relationship

author’s note: hi! i wanted to write a story that seemed realistic to the reader. i didn’t want the reader to be someone famous, but instead, a college student who has a hard time balancing her schoolwork with her and david’s relationship.

word count: 1.3k

masterlist

"Dave, can you wear headphones? I really can't focus," you begged, and David pouted. You were trying to write your final paper for your marketing class and David was sitting on the bed next to you editing his vlog. For the last thirty minutes, you had listened to the same clip being replayed and it was driving you crazy. Him editing usually didn't bother you, even when you had other work to do, but today it was getting on your nerves. "Please?"

Instead of getting up to look for his headphones, he put his laptop to the side. "Come here," he said, tilting his head to the side and waiting for you to curl up next to him. You sighed. You wanted to finish your paper so you could have one of your classmates review it before you had to turn it in. You didn't feel like talking, but you couldn't say no to David, so you put your laptop on the floor and scooted closer to him, feeling his arms wrap tightly around you.

"What are you working on?" David asked, and you knew he was also asking why you in such a sour mood tonight.

"A final paper for one of my classes."

"Want to take a break? I'm hungry and my vlog is already going to go up late, so it might as well go up later."

"I can't. I need to finish it for class tomorrow if I want someone to review it before turning it in," you said, and David groaned. Lately, you two barely had the chance to spend time together. It was the week before finals, so you were stressed and constantly studying. David was annoyed that even when you came over for dinner, and you promised not to get distracted, he still found you trying to study. And on top of that, David was constantly planning and taking short trips to different states for both work and pleasure, and you couldn't go with him on them since you had classes.

You being in college in and of itself was a problem your relationship. You couldn't drop everything for him, you had to prioritize your education. And it had caused so many fights. You two had been dating for almost six months by now, and you assumed you would have found a balance between his vlog and your classes, but it was just getting harder and harder, and you two were just out of sync. Your schedules had been total opposites lately, and you hardly ever saw him.

You stayed close to him for a little while, almost falling asleep a few times. But you finally pulled away, determined to finish your paper. David finally pulled out his headphones and wore them so you wouldn't complain anymore.

David kept trying to entertain you while you worked on your paper. He would make jokes or draw doodles on your sticky notes in an attempt to make you laugh. But it reality, it was just distracting. "Babe, please stop. I'm not in the mood." It came out harsher than you meant for it to have. You never got snippy with David, but tonight you just needed to be alone. You apologized, and reassured him that you'd come to bed soon, before getting up and moving into David's office to finish writing your paper.

You were finally distraction free and you got to writing. Hours ticked by, and around 3am, David poked his head into the office.

"How's it going?" he asked, crossing the room and draping his arms around your neck. "Almost done?"

"Yeah, I only need to write one more page. What about you? Did you finish editing the vlog?" You spun the chair around to face him.

"No, I accidentally deleted a clip that I really wanted to use, so I have to see if anyone else has it in the morning."

"Oh, no. That sucks," you said and David shrugged. He wasn't worried about it. At least one person in your friend group had a camera recording at any given point, so he was sure someone would have the clip he wanted.

About an hour later, you had finished your 15 page paper. You left your laptop in the office and headed back to David's bedroom. He was still awake and editing, and you could tell he was exhausted.

"Can I see what you have so far?" you asked, sliding into bed next to him. David nodded, and turned his laptop screen towards you. The vlog was good. He had surprised one of your friends with a new car and he included clips from his most recent trip to Chicago.

"I wish I could've gone to Chicago with you," you sighed, hating the fact that you missed out on so many fun things David and your friends did because of classes.

"I know. Me too," David leaned over and kissed your forehead. He was a very spontaneous person and the fact that you had a schedule to follow and you couldn't drop everything drove him crazy.

Over the next two weeks, you didn’t see David at all. You stayed in your dorm because you wanted to be on campus in order to maximize your study time. You hardly ever had your phone on, let alone checked it. You studied alone and with small groups, trying to learn all the material. Your marketing professor had loved your final paper. You had written about using social media influencers as a way to market everyday essentials, getting your inspiration from David telling you that people had started to buy the same shampoo he uses after mentioning it on his podcast.

When you finished your last final, you called David. "Thank fucking God," he muttered when you told him you were done. He told you that he would pick you up and move you out soon.

He helped you load his Tesla with the last of the items in your dorm, before getting into the driver's seat. "I have a surprise for you."

"David, I swear to God if it’s an animal," you yelled and he chuckled.

"It's not an animal, I promise," he reassured you, before pulling out an envelope and handing it to you. You glanced at him and he encouraged you to open it. Inside were two plane tickets to Chicago. But before you got your hopes up, you checked the date, and your heart sank.

"David, I really appreciate it. But I need to talk to you about something." He looked at you, confusion in his eyes. "I got offered the internship in New York, and I think I'm going to take it." You couldn't imagine spending the summer away from David, but this was your dream company, and they offered you a position in NYC, not LA.

David's heart dropped as you said that. He knew you wanted this internship, he just hadn't processed the fact that you would be across the country from him for twelve weeks.

"We'll make it work, I promise," David said softly, almost as if he was trying to convince himself. "But you have to take it. You always tell me to follow my dreams, well, now it's my turn to tell you to follow your dreams."

"Thank you," you whispered, giving him a hug. It meant so much to you that David wanted you to be successful and follow your dreams, even if it meant he had to have just a little more structure in his life.

And so, you went to New York City for the summer. David came out to visit as often as he could, sometimes bringing your friends and sometimes having you meet him in Chicago on the weekends.

It was difficult for you two to balance your lives, since they were so different, but you somehow made it work.

#david dobrik #david dobrik fanfiction #david dobrik fluff #david dobrik x you #david dobrik x reader #david dobrik fic #soft david dobrik #david dobrik one shot #david dobrik imagine #david dobrik blurb

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marlahey · 4 years

Text

to the anon from last night re: maxence

the ask broke the read more again and my reply was massive so I’ve copied and pasted all your messages and my response below.

side note does anyone know why the html for small text doesn’t work anymore??

[Not been on SM all week as seeing reposts of PoC murders is too triggering for me (I’m a 21 year old French black guy). Reading the stuff people wrote about maxence, all I have to say is that you and others were too focused on telling people off who were calling for action rather than fighting for black lives. People shouldn’t have sent them abuse, no. That was wrong, and most people have been acknowledging that. (Part 1)

[But axel at least uploaded a permanent show of support, whereas Maxence’s support has disappeared to his massive influence. It’s not a pedestal, it’s basic human decency in a time of crisis. Yes he posted petitions but they disappeared. Black lives don’t stop mattering after a 24 hour story. Please don’t police when black people ask for more from white allies in positions of power.

My Instagram posts get 100 likes, his gets thousands, and a permanent show would mean a lot, especially as France has such a racist history and present. Consider why people are asking for more before berating them for it, please. Not all who want to see lasting action are being rude, and while it’s great that he shared petitions, they only existed in his world for 24 hours, but the fight for racial equality lasts much longer. Consider that reality before dismissing critics of “putting celebrities on a pedestal.” It is not unjust for us to ask for action from people who in interviews frequently talk about their support for causes but don’t use the tools that best equip them to help. It’s great maxence went to the protest, I’m not saying he’s done nothing, but his most powerful tool is not his presence but his social media outreach and the thousands he could guide with a permanent link. Racism isn’t temporary. Please really consider this, and you’re own privileges, before dismissing people asking for help as being immature. Don’t lump everyone into the same boat. Don’t tar those with reasonable intentions with the same brush as those shouting abuse. Try and evaluate why your reaction was so blocked off to their plight. It is not unreasonable to ask those with power to help where they can, whether it’s money or SM reach or whatever you are equipped with. We have the right to ask for more.]

Hi anon. I appreciate that you’ve been away for your own health and safety, so I wish I knew specifically to which ask/post of mine you’re responding to. because I got several asks this week that devolved into lengthy responses; I’m hoping it wasn’t just the shortest post because I’d effectively run out of internet steam at that point and it does seem really dismissive outside the context of the rest of my blog/me as an actual person. that’s not my intention at all and I apologize if it comes across that way. I mentioned these things in another asks, but I’m not even sure how to respond to you now without trying to justify or validate my own actions to support the blm movement as an east-asian woman, my personal experiences with racism in canada and abroad – even literally in france as I lived there for a short period of time when I was 21 – or sounding like a jerk when talking about my first career as a teacher and my graduate education in media studies and communication. they frame a lot of my current thinking about the internet and celebrity culture, which I feel really strongly about even outside of this pivotal moment in global socio-political activism and black lives matter. but neither are the point here. to start, I completely agree with the everlasting nature of racism and the power of social media in general (stories vs post with a fucked up algorithm on insta is a whole other discussion, but I see your point in concept). I’m very aware of its impact and I would never purposefully suggest that you had no right to ask for support and allyship from those in positions of power – especially those who are white. I’m sorry again any post(s) of mine implied that. nor do I willfully accuse everyone who was calling for maxence’s more permanent support as being abusive or immature – I’m very able to separate the two and I obviously only condemn the assholes. asks that I personally received justified that behaviour with a ‘right motive, wrong message’ argument and a lot of condescension towards him, which is what I found more problematic than anything else they said. my personal expectations for any celebrity in the area of social justice (or general world awareness, frankly) are absurdly low. but that’s due to the lens of my own experience and education. that’s not to diminish or ignore their very real influence. I’m not sure how to phrase it without coming across like a complete weirdo, hipster, or porch sitting and fist shaking millennial, so I’m not going to try. I would also be an asshole to suggest that you’re objectively wrong in any way, because you aren’t. I have done this same labour for people in my own life, as someone who lives at the intersection of almost every minority qualifier – from woman all the way over to disabled person. but I’m still not a black person. I have a strange semi-privilege as the “model minority” (ugh) in a country where the most predominant and systemic racism is against an entirely different group of people. I feel like anything else I say about maxence specifically is going to sound like defending him no matter what, so I guess I can only talk about myself. social media and celebrities don’t carry real weight in my life. they don’t change the way I view anything besides the actual mechanisms of the internet, mass communication, and an ever-descending opinion of popular culture at large. but that’s a generally weird stance as a 28 year old so I try not to overly broadcast it. but it doesn’t mean these things don’t impact others. I enjoy what and whom I enjoy with a measured amount of critical thinking. I’ve had this blog since I was about your age, maybe a little longer, and this is the first time several people have genuinely come at me for innocuous tags or an offhand reply to a friend’s post despite a reasonably medium number of followers. it was a little overwhelming. that seems dumb to say but it was a hard week for a lot of other reasons, including the obvious, and everything felt a lot more intense than normal. I don’t send anonymous asks ever, but there’s no other option than to publicly respond when you receive them, which means we have to have these discussions in a very visible way. that’s either great or not, depending on the ask. I’d much rather engage personally, but so is the internet. I would hope that no one who’s been following me since I was 21 would think as poorly of me as you may, or other anons have. but you don’t know me personally at all and that’s okay. it would be strange to say I don’t want asks at all because that’s the fun of community and interaction, but I guess I can only speak to my own thoughts on my own blog and they will be interpreted a million different ways that are out of my control. I accept that. I apologize for my part in detracting from a larger and way more important time in everyone’s life – especially yours. again, never my intention. I hope that you are safe despite everything that’s going on. if you ever need support, I’m happy to offer some. thank you for the conversation.

#skam france #maxence danet fauvel #anonymous #okay I guess that's all I can physically say about this

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eldritchsurveys · 4 years

Text

672.

When was the last time you let someone know you truly love him/her? >> Hm.

Do you complain when you are bored, or look for something to do? >> I might say that I’m bored, conversationally, if I’m not alone. But usually I just flop around and wait until my brain settles down. (Usually, boredom for me isn’t a lack of things to do, it’s just a kind of restlessness or anxiety that prevents me from doing anything or focusing on anything.)

Do other people's complaints ever get on your nerves? >> Sure.

Generally, what is your favorite ride at an amusement park? >> I remember liking roller coasters, but I haven’t been to an amusement park in a long time.

Who is your favorite 90's musical artist? >> I mean, a lot of the music I enjoy is from the nineties...

Do you think that music was better when your parents were young, or now? >> Music is just music. Some of it I like, some of it I don’t like, but every time period in the past century-plus has had its pop music that older people hate. I think it’s just more difficult to adapt to new music trends as one gets older, and one is more likely to experience nostalgia for the music they grew up with, and mistakenly assume that their nostalgia means that the music was obviously objectively better back then. There are some musical trends that I wish were still knocking around, sure, but there are some new trends that I love, too. People will always be around making music that I like, no matter what year it is.

How did you develop your specific taste in music? >> I mean, it wasn’t any effort on my part. I just like what I like; I assume it’s mostly subconscious.

If you drink coffee, how do you like it (with cream, black, etc)? >> Black.

Did your parents sign you up for things like piano lessons and ballet? >> He always signed me up for things I didn’t enjoy, and then wondered why I didn’t perform to his standards.

What is your favorite children's song? >> I don’t have one.

Is there a funny story about yourself that you like telling others? >> Probably, but I can’t remember it right now.

Are you good at telling jokes? >> No, I don’t have the memory for constructed jokes.

Are you uptight, or are you easy going? >> I’m neurotic about some things because of how I’m wired, and I’m pretty apathetic about other things for the same reason.

Other than gas, what do you frequently purchase at a gas station? >> I don’t regularly buy things at gas stations.

What is one concern you have about the present state of the world? >> Meh.

Ten years ago, did you think that this was how the world would turn out? >> I wasn’t thinking about how the world would turn out ten years from then.

Ever think you might be better off living in a different time period? >> No.

Do you drink regular or diet soda? >> If I’m going to drink soda, I’m going to drink regular soda.

What CDs would you take with you on a road trip? >> Thank god for Spotify.

Think of your favorite band? What album by them is your LEAST favorite? >> I don’t have a favourite band.

Have you seen your favorite band in concert? If so, how was it? >> I’ve seen live several bands I’ve called “favourite” in the past. They were all great shows.

Do you walk regularly? >> I don’t. Especially not in this season.

Did you take a Health class in high school? How was it? >> Yeah. I don’t know, I slept through most of it.

If you could have the answer to one question, what question would that be? >> ---

Do you like any bands from other countries? >> Sure, of course.

When was the last time you mailed a handwritten letter? >> Uh... middle school?

Do you still receive Christmas cards? >> Not unless I do a card exchange amongst my tumblr mutuals, which I did do one year. But executive dysfunction got in the way last season so I didn’t get around to it.

Do you know anyone who is really hard to please? >> I mean, maybe.

What gets you through the day? >> *shrug*

Do you have a Before Bed routine? >> Not really. I just make sure to take my pill at around 10p.

Describe your stance on organized religion? >> I don’t have a stance on it, really. I find some aspects of it fascinating, some aspects of it helpful, and other aspects of it harmful. Just like... anything, I guess? I’m considering conversion to a particular organised religion, but I’ve been spoiled by the sheer freedom of being unaffiliated and I’m not sure how willing I am to give that up.

Describe your stance on religion in general? >> I’m notoriously interested in and even passionate about religion in general, even when I don’t care to personally participate in it. It’s one of those things I’d consider majoring in if I was in any way inclined towards formal education.

If you found out your bf/gf was homosexual, how would you react? >> Whaaaaat? The woman that is always saying “I’m gay” at any given occasion (particularly when she sees other women) is not straight?????? News to me.

If you are homosexual, and you find out your bf/gf is straight, then what? >> I mean, that’s a situation I can’t really imagine being in.

Have you ever sung karaoke? What songs? Was it fun? >> I’ve sung at live-band karaoke... I’d say around 100, 150 times? I was pretty much a regular. My go-to songs included Smells Like Teen Spirit, Jeremy, and No One Knows. Oh, and The Trooper until I saw [fellow regular] Dorit do a belly-dance bit with a sword on her head during the solo. I think all of us regulars gave up on doing The Trooper after that, lmfao.

Do you study for big tests? >> ---

What makes you nervous? >> Oh, a few things, I guess.

Have you called anyone today? What did you talk about? >> No.

When was the last time you went bowling? >> The last time I was even in a bowling alley is when I was eighteen. The only reason I remember is because that was the last time I saw Thomas before he died. (That bowling alley isn’t even there anymore. Always thought a bowling alley in Port Authority was weird, anyway...)

Do you drive around the neighborhood to look at lights around Xmas? >> We usually just see them on regular drives. When I lived in the Pine Barrens as a preteen, it was nice because we lived by a four-mile-long lake, and you could always see the reflections of the lights across the lake in the water. Also, there was this one house that always went absolutely apeshit with the lights every year. I shudder to think of their electric bill.

Why are so many single people bitter on Valentine's Day? >> Because they’re lonely or have been hurt by exes or are unhappily aromantic, and don’t like being bombarded by hearts and romantic shit everywhere. It’s not rocket science, dude.

What holiday is a big deal for you? >> I mean, Christmas. I enjoy it and for once in my life I get to fully celebrate it.

What is one tradition you hate participating in? >> I don’t know, but whatever it is, I probably just refuse to participate in it period.

Have you ever been sledding? >> Nope.

Do you have acne? >> Not since high school.

Have you made a fool of yourself today? >> Not to my knowledge.

Is there someone you wish you could talk to, but you're too afraid? >> Not specifically. But in general, fear is the foundation of why I don’t open up to people.

Do you have a favorite cookie? >> I like lemon cookies...

When was the last time you did something for someone else? >> Neighbour left her key in her door and I knocked on the door to alert her to it.

Do you let other people choose the radio stations in your car? >> ---

Would you say that you are an accepting and openminded person? >> Sure.

Have you ever been convinced to try something you didn't want to do? >> Not if I really didn’t want to do it. I’ve been convinced to try things that I was on the fence about.

What happened? How did you feel about your choice? >> ---

Have you ever tried to influence someone else? >> I mean, sure, probably.

When was the last time you cheated--at anything? >> I don’t remember.

Do you play any online computer games? If so, what? >> Yeah. I play several MMOs (not at the same time, I usually alternate between them from month to month).

What food can you not seem to get enough of? >> Cheese and crackers, for some reason.

When you are mad at someone, how do you show them? >> I usually just don’t talk to them or don’t give any friendly social cues. Kind of freeze them out, I guess. I figure most people don’t care if I’m upset with them or not, so it doesn’t make any sense to tell them or have a conversation about it. That may be fallacious, but I... also haven’t been explicitly proven wrong yet, lol.

Do you like to think that you are better than other people? >> No.

When was the last time you felt you had a reality check? >> I don’t know.

Have you ever felt out of touch with reality? >> Sure, many times.

Have you ever been sick to the point of possibly dying? >> Nope.

Have you ever had a tooth pulled? >> Yes, because I can’t afford a root canal.

How long do you you usually chew a stick of gum? >> Not that long. The flavour only lasts like five minutes at best, after all, and once the flavour’s gone the gum starts to lose pliability.

Did you chew gum in school, even if it was against the rules? >> I don’t recall doing so.

Did you take a foreign language in school? >> I tried. I didn’t get very far because of changing schools all the time, being in the mental hospital all the time, and also that stupid fiasco where I got no credit for a whole year of Spanish I (I don’t remember why, but it was definitely some bullshit).

Did you attempt to make Honor Roll? Did you make it? >> I only made honour roll in elementary.

What was your favorite school project? >> That report I did about Jim Morrison. Or that project I did about the war against rock and roll, lol (you know, the Satanic Panic around metal music and all that noise; I basically got tired of being told I listened to “devil music” and decided to expose the ridiculousness of it in my final project).

Did you attend any school dances? >> I mean, I went to prom.

Were you in any after school clubs? >> I tried to be, but my father made me leave them because he didn’t approve of the kinds of clubs I wanted to be in (and I didn’t want to be in the kinds of clubs he approved of).

Was there any teacher that made life living hell for you? >> I definitely felt that way.

How about any student(s)? >> Some years, yes.

When was the last time you felt overwhelmed? >> I don’t remember. It’s a common occurrence so I don’t make much note of it when it happens.

Which parent are you more apt to go to if you're upset? >> ---

Do you have any coffee mugs with funny pictures/sayings? >> I have a mug with a cute cactus on it! But Sparrow has all the punny mugs (they’re all cat puns).

Describe your favorite t-shirt? >> ---

Describe something strange that you own? >> Hmm... not sure I own anything strange. Or maybe it’s just that nothing I own is strange to me.

What do you like to do on a friday night? >> Go to Cafe Boba for a weekly meetup group.

What do you like to do on a sunday night? >> Whatever.

Are monday's a drag for you? >> No more or less than any other day of the week.

Do you think graffiti is a valid form of artistic expression? >> Of course.

Do you know where the food you eat comes from? >> Of course not, I live in the US. It’s all a clusterfuck of obfuscation.

Do you ever worry about where the world will be in 20 years? >> No. My peers seem to have that covered.

Have you spent much time contemplating your death? >> Oh, definitely.

Do you know what you want your funeral to be like? >> I know that I want a home vigil (assuming I die when I’m older, after we’ve already bought an actual home). If I die, like, tomorrow or whatever, I guess people can do whatever they want funeral-wise because I’m not interested. Just bury me in a cardboard or pine box in the green section at that one cemetery near us, please. Not in a fucking thousand-dollar metal casket or whatever. Let me decay.

How often do you think dirty thoughts? >> I don’t know, often enough, I guess.

Can mere images turn you on? How about words? >> Images, sure. Words, if they come from Inworld, yeah...

Do you give a good back massage? >> No.

Do you think that feet are disgusting? >> I mean, not inherently. At least they don’t... secrete stuff. (I mean, besides sweat.)

Do you have a girlish scream? >> I don’t recall ever screaming, period.

When was the last time you screamed? >> ^

What is your political affiliation? >> I don’t have one, but I usually vote Democrat.

Are you registered to vote? >> Yeah.

Are you GOING to vote? >> *sigh* Yeah, guess I oughta.

Do you think you would enjoy living in college dorms? >> No. Nooooo no no no no.

Have you ever been to the YMCA? >> Yeah.

If you ditched school, where did you go? >> ---

Have you ever been offered drugs? What, and by who? >> I mean, by friends. Not by complete strangers the way D.A.R.E. insisted. (I mean, that probably does happen too, just not at all with the frequency one would expect...)

Are you afraid to walk places at night if you are alone? >> No.

What's in your school backpack? >> ---

Are you put off by overly social people? >> No. I’m easily exhausted by very extroverted, exuberant people, is all. Doesn’t mean I don’t like them as people.

What do you think of people who are shy? >> I don’t think anything of them, specifically. Some people are just shy. That’s fine.

#surveys #survey #random survey

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