#how grateful i am to be wrong :’)

[uncanny-tranny]

At this point, gender nonconformity is about what the person says their experience is.

If a woman with a beard or a man with lipstick and a mustache says they're gender nonconforming, then they are! If a woman with short hair or a man with long hair says they aren't, they aren't! And that's not even getting into the awesome nonbinary, abinary, genderqueer, intersex, and general genderfuckery that may both be and not be conforming.

So much of what is even considered gender conforming or gender nonconforming is based on a world of exclusion. When we start defining one's conformity with whether they fit into white cishetero perisex standards or not, we play into the idea that there's only a very narrow window of what is considered worthy of time and thought.

#gender nonconformity #gnc #queer #like. for instance a native man who keeps long hair might be considered GNC by white standards but for him it's absolutely not nonconformit #there's an aspect of white supremacy that silences everything else while saying that other culture's silence is indicative of whiteness... #...being 'correct' or 'moral' or 'neutral' #and as somebody who's trans and last i checked white i have my own thoughts from my own experiences #like how i don't consider myself to really be a GNC man. i'm just. man+ #i'm a weird concoction of weird soup that tastes like a man but if it were Wrong #and i just don't see that as not conforming to manhood like it is seperate. i see it as irrevocably linked TO manhood #it is others who have excluded and exiled me from manhood because of *their* understanding of me and how i 'fit in' in cissexism #while i will never ever say i know what it's like to not be white i will say these conversations that PoC have started have been INVALUABLE #i am forever grateful to have been extended the patience and faith to listen in on the experiences of people... #...who are racialized in terms of gender and how they do/don't 'fit in' with often white supremacist views on gender/dynamics #may have made a post like this years back but. eh. arrest me officer i will not back down #i've been more and more 'gnc' as i go into my transition and i don't see it as nonconformity but as an outlet for my masculinity #which is why i'm not insecure about my crafts and creations. because it is coming from a male whether or not it's considered 'manly' #i have little to *no place* in cissexist society so why should i put any stakes into if they ~accept~ me #made this post while jamming out to skyrim's tavern OST (paused my game to write this) #why the HELL does the skyrim tavern music have to go SO HARD. i NEED to slam down BARRELS of mead while listening to this istg #i don't even LIKE honey so i haven't tried mead but. for skyrim i would.

[nagasthia]

Look a Ninjago drawing :)

#lego ninjago #ninjago #pixal ninjago #ninjago pixal #lego ninjago pixal #pixal #pixal borg #ninjago art #ninjago fanart #my art #I have a feeling you don't actually believe you are good at what you're doing #that's what my therapist said to me last week #and that made me think #when did I started resenting what always made me happy? Because all I feel is that no matter how much I try I'm never happy #I'm in a place where I'll start to get nightmares every time I post something #Don't get me wrong I am so grateful for all the support you guys gave me and I feel really happy with the friends I got here #but things are not balanced #I have been doing art for such a short time and I can see how much I have improved #but if I am not happy with my own art I see no reason to keep doing it #I've only been drawing and getting better because you gave me so much support but the support is not working now #because no matter what I'll never be satisfied with myself #I know I will hate this drawing the moment I post it but everyone following me is a follower because of ninjago and I can't ignore that #So for y'all a drawing

[sergle]

sergle i thought you didn't like ppl objectifying you :/

god okay this gave me whiplash. make sure you remember how to read before proceeding. sound words out for a friend or family member if you need to. People Being Thirsty in my general direction is different from people like. seeing me only as JO material. I Don't Like people thinking they're smooth as hell trying to dm me what they assume women want to hear. Describing some cringe ass shit. I Do Like a compliment. I even like a compliment that is clearly thirsty. I don't think "I've jacked off to you" is a compliment. not from yall anyway. super controversial, I know. a fat fetish blog following me and reblogging my selfies Is objectification. someone being vaguely horny can be good, or bad, or funny and I show it to ppl on discord and laugh- depends on the specifics. Most of the people following me are too uwu to even get close to the line. they've backed so far away from the line out of fear that they tripped over something while they were backing up and it was embarrassing for them. People trying to push me into sex work specifically while I'm fundraising, because they know I'm more vulnerable at that time and they want to take advantage of me needing money, is definitely sexual harassment, that's definitely me being objectified. the ask I just got, though, was not that. 😭 just telling me that some girls think I'm hot? that is tepid as hell. thinking someone is attractive isn't objectifying them. all attraction is not objectification. please. work with me here

#also I'm just a regular lady and I am more lenient on some days and more annoyed on others #but like the type of thing I was just sent. is nothing. that isn't anything. #that's not on the list of crazy things ppl have said or done #sergle answers #it's so. funny? i guess is a word to use #it's so funny to me the way that- if I'm trying to establish a boundary. I get people who are annoyed. #and if I want to like. god I don't think I've ever posted a thirst trap. but if I post something like that. then people are annoyed. #if I accept a thirsty ask then people are mad on my behalf. if I'm mad at it I get asks about how I should be grateful #like people saying I should take the deals for selling pics/videos or start an OF because #''some girls make a fraction of that amount'' #so I should do it what. out of obligation? yeah that's a great reason to get my pussy out #so many conflictions from people. and then there's ppl who don't know what a line is or where it is #so they always think it's crossed at the wrong time. and are unaware when it actually Has been crossed.

[andypantsx3]

man i love fanfic and this community so much

do u guys ever get tired of being some of the coolest ppl and writing some of the most genuinely amazing things??

#like do not get me wrong the community has also suffered some weird moments as of late #but those are just the friction points of sharing a communal space; for the most part everyone i have encountered has been totally lovely #today is one of those days i am just like so blown away by how talented and fun and supportive people are here #i am very very grateful for the people who have managed to find me and i've managed to find in turn #love uuuuuuuuu

[sea-buns]

Holy fuck, man. What a trip Fearne has been on, huh?

You tell her how grateful you are to have her in your life, you flatter her, you tell her you need her, that you have to do this together. You have her make a promise that has this woman, born of chaos and fey, agreeing through shaking hands and a trembling voice.

You make her deceive your friends; you make her follow where they cannot know; you make her help you into this contraption; you make her feed this thing into you despite the fact that you both have been warned extensively of the risks. You make her watch you crumble and splinter and shatter and fracture and burst and implode. You make her watch you die, over and over and over and over, for a minute in agonizing bullet time.

You make her do all these things, because when she tries to back out, when she tries to not be the one who let you do this—how could you do this—

you tell her, "YOU PROMISED."

Because if there's one thing you know, it's that the fey do not break a promise.

#cant wait for her to fucking pissed for a very long time. shes really packing the entire human experience in a very short period of time. #critical role #cr spoilers #c3e77 #fearne calloway #ashton greymoore #bells hells #just gonna get ahead of the um actually mfs and state that i am aware that its not confirmed that thats why ash brought up the promise #but boy howdy would it make for some great drama down the line huh? #edit: apparently i did not get ahead enough cuz ive had to turn off replies #since ppl were somehow interpreting this mini introspection piece as me infantilizing fearne?? #anyway the first line is now changed to something a bit more neutral. after sleeping on it i do see how it was a bit aggressive at the top #other than that im not sure how else to reword without completely disregarding the core of the post #i might make more posts addressing this but im not sure yet. i wanna try to approach it in the best way possible. #but if it helps any the point of the post was not to say fearne had no agency. she had plenty of moments where she tilted one way or the #other. the POINT was to just shine some light on the emotional pressure she had been put under. #hasnt your friend ever asked you to keep a secret or promise that felt wrong or unsafe or made you anxious? #it has nothing to do with the amount of agency she had. ash wasnt holding a knife to her throat and forcing her to follow against her will #all i was trying to do was take this detail about his reminder of the promise that i thought was interesting and have some fun writing an #overview of the kinda stress she was under BEFORE theyd reached that scene. this entire ep was everyone discussing how grateful they were #for this family theyd made. and while im not saying ash was PURPOSELY emotionally manipulating fearne.. #there is a level of unintentional manipulation when you pair the severity of his request with the convo theyd had 2 seconds prior #as well as the desperate need they all have to save each other NO MATTER WHAT. #ash was giving incredibly strong energy of a friend who peer pressures you into helping them do something that you know in your gut WILL #cause problems. hes a fucked up guy. theyre all fucked up guys. even if he didnt mean to “force” her into anything the pressure was THERE. #<- i feel like all of this overall gets my message across. i think maybe ill clean it up later into its own post. #im gonna try not to rush myself to get it done tho. #im under no obligation to explain myself. especially when ppl approach the misunderstanding by being rude af. but i do think it CAN #be clarified so id at least like to try to some degree

[theloveinc]

Shinsou had a crush on you since like, young kids days and never thought you noticed him, but that was good cause maybe you thought he was a weird kid, so once he beefed up and finally got the confidence to talk to you it gets shut right tf back down when you're like "Of course i remember you!"

I don't know which part is worse............................ Shinso being so absorbed in his own supposed loser-hood in his youth that he essentially ignored you for 5-10 years while he was working out his self esteem issues ... or the fact that you not only DO remember him, berry well at that, but don't really think anything of it because you thought HE was kinda... a jerk for never being nice to you back.

(Cuz on one hand, you're so sweet, smiling at him when he approaches you, genuinely, just like you did back when you were both under ten and you'd smile at him from the other side of the park... but on the other hand, you don't hesitate to turn right back to your own friends after he barely manages to answer your "how have you been" question and you give him pity eyes like you still think he's a shy headass.

It's just... he doesn't want to fuck it up a second time and lose his momentum... but all the confidence he put into the moment deflated the second he realized you were even more beautiful and more kind than he remembered you and it got him tripping over his words)

ANYWAY then there's another 2-4 months of him trying to get your number just to be a fool over text before even managing to convince you he's worth a fucking damn LOL.

(And he is worth a damn, so much more than a damn because he's willing to give anything and everything up for you but... doesn't know how to say it in a way that wouldn't scare you off for good...

Not to mention he's so fucking bad at texting. Yes, his dry humor is funny as hell but he's not trying to be funny with you, he's trying to WOO you and so the whole thing is just him making excuses to reach out to you even tho texting first for him is like plucking ass hair.)

#shinso #no bc shy people.... i love them but ... put in the work y'all i am doing all this talking for what??? #to be silently appreciated? no. I have my own issues too !!! and u don't see me hesitating to speak !!!!!! #<- how i imagine this reader bc shy ppl grate on me sometimes with feeling unable or scared to talk #so anyway being shy bites shinso in the BEHIND bc he didn't realize he wasn't just... a loser nobody saw... #but a loser everyone saw as being... mean. for not wanting to talk to them #even tho i know you were kind and gentle to him #he was never able to reciprocate out of feeling like he wasn't good enough #DISASTER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #anyway he's sexxy af now but you just think it's made him more self-absorbed #until you actually get to know him again and it turns out you were wrong too #LMAO I LOVE THIS DISASTER RELATIONSHIP #sorry if this went in a totally weird direction anon i couldnt help myself !! #caitie things #anon #gen

[untimelyambition]

i can’t believe fall out boy played 33 songs this show thats. an abnormal amount of songs i know they were EXHAUSTED

#and i am so grateful #i have mostly been posting abt fob on twitter but i think i talked abt it a bit tooooo much today so ive switched to here #fall out boy consume my every waking thought #six 8 balls back to back was like getting punched in the chest 1000 times #and 79 legendary medley like what the fuck is wrong with them #i hope they get some rest now and i hope they give us 3ourdust #i am going to miss tuning into shows every night im going to miss them so much #now i understand how swifties feel #33 songs… their longest show ever… I LOVE YOU FALL OUT BOY #they did this for us #fall out boy #tilda rambling

[seagull-scribbles]

Caysi Jons 🏒💥

#TMNT #casey jones #casey jones 2012 #cassandra jones #I’m still not very confident with human faces so shoutout to the hokey mask #so so grateful my faves wear a mask #I hope rise gets to come back I want a cross over episode #so sad all the different turtles series have a crossover episode but my two fave series don’t #I’ve been procrastinating all weekend when I should have been working to do this so I should probably go offline now and catch up #the captain is wrong on purpose btw rena gets it #we have come to the conclusion all the Casey jones’ we don’t like are heterosexual and that’s why they don’t past the vibe check #also can I just talk about how I loved 2012 Casey as a teen but his design is so over the top #every time I draw him I add a bit more of his gear but idk if I’ll ever draw his full outfit #that big taser glove…. no thanks #now Cassandra #she gets it #less is more queen you are so right #also btw if you can’t tell any series where Casey is also a teen I ship them with their version of raph #I won’t apologise #also i am not sdmitting how much time i wasted shading and texturing these two images just to put a shadow over it #tmnt 2012 #rottmnt #SaveRiseOfTheTMNT

[ladystoneboobs]

He[Ned] had a grim cast to his grey eyes this day, and he seemed not at all the man who would sit before the fire in the evening and talk softly of the age of heroes and the children of the forest. He had taken off Father's face, Bran thought, and donned the face of Lord Stark of Winterfell. -Bran I, aGoT Bran's bastard brother Jon Snow moved closer. "Keep the pony well in hand," he whispered. "And don't look away. Father will know if you do." -Bran I, aGoT Lord Eddard had tried to play the father from time to time, but to Theon he had always remained the man who'd brought blood and fire to Pyke and taken him from his home. As a boy, he had lived in fear of Stark's stern face and great dark sword. -Theon I, aCoK The Lannister lord was strong-looking for an old man, with stiff golden whiskers and a bald head. There was something in his face that reminded Arya of her own father, even though they looked nothing alike. He has a lord's face, that's all, she told herself. She remembered hearing her lady mother tell Father to put on his lord's face and go deal with some matter. Father had laughed at that. She could not imagine Lord Tywin ever laughing at anything. -Arya VII, aCoK Theon told himself he must be as cold and deliberate as Lord Eddard. -Theon IV, aCoK [...] "My father never used a headsman. He said he owed it to men he killed to look into their eyes and hear their last words. And when I looked into Ygritte's eyes, I . . ." Jon stared down at his hands helplessly. "I know she was an enemy, but there was no evil in her." -Jon VII, aCoK As he knelt to the block, the kennelmaster said, "M'lord Eddard always did his own killings." Theon had to take the axe himself or look a weakling. -Theon V, aCoK He is an old man, Jon told himself. Fifty, maybe even sixty. He lived a longer life than most. The Thenns will kill him anyway, nothing I can say or do will save him. Longclaw seemed heavier than lead in his hand, too heavy to lift. The man kept staring at him, with eyes as big and black as wells. I will fall into those eyes and drown. The Magnar was looking at him too, and he could almost taste the mistrust. The man is dead. What matter if it is my hand that slays him? One cut would do it, quick and clean. Longclaw was forged of Valyrian steel. Like Ice. Jon remembered another killing; the deserter on his knees, his head rolling, the brightness of blood on snow . . . his father's sword, his father's words, his father's face . . . -Jon V, aSoS "My blood price, he[Tormund] called it," said Jon Snow, "but he will pay." "Aye, and why not?" Old Flint stomped his cane against the ice. "Wards, we always called them, when Winterfell demanded boys of us, but they were hostages, and none the worse for it." "None but them whose sires displeased the Kings o' Winter," said The Norrey. "Those came home shorter by a head. So you tell me, boy … if these wildling friends o' yours prove false, do you have the belly to do what needs be done?" Ask Janos Slynt. "Tormund Giantsbane knows better than to try me. I may seem a green boy in your eyes, Lord Norrey, but I am still a son of Eddard Stark." -Jon XI, aDwD

aw, gotta love that dichotomy of even ned's own adoring children, not just theon, knowing he had a cold and stern side as a lord, grim and frightening to enemies, always alongside the warm, laughing dad who told them bedtime stories, that nice side of ned which is the only part most of fandom wants to acknowledge. arya even reminded of him by the face of tywin frickin' lannister! this same dad who laughed off bran's disobedience climbing all over the castle like a monkey, who couldn't punish arya for using a secret sword behind his back, who didn't even want sansa to be a witness to his passing sentence on gregor clegane with mere words for his crimes, that same soft-hearted guy would have admonished 7yo bran for looking away from his first beheading, to toughen him up and make him into a man already. just imagine, for jon to be so certain of that, either he and/or robb must have looked away from their first beheading at bran's age and been sternly told off for it. (amab) children can't be allowed to have a natural human reaction to sudden blood and gore watching dad kill someone. gotta stamp that shit out right away!

striking the way jon always uses memories of ned to choose not to kill innocent people who had yet to do him harm, first with ygritte and then the old man ygritte urged him to kill, but also uses his noble father's example to prove his willingness to kill children with zero sense of contradiction. that has to be a reference to theon, right? ned's own experience (implicitly) threatening a child ward/hostage, which all his bannermen would be well aware of. sure, jon's right about the unnamed older man. ned wouldn't murder one of his own subjects like that, he owed no duty to the magnar of thenn and would likely find undercover work even more distasteful than jon did. but, ygritte, really? a wildling of the enemy people all northerners were taught to kill? i have to wonder. did ned really find more evil in the deserter's eyes than jon did in ygritte's, making him deserving of beheading? or is it just that ned could feel he deserved to dutifully kill every time he passed that eye contact test? his reasoning was that deserters were dangerous because they already had a death sentence for oathbreaking, therefore had no reason not to commit any other crime. doesn't that same self-fulfilling violent prophecy apply to all people born on the wrong side of the wall? when you've got nothing left in life, you have nothing to lose by attacking people on the other side. is theon being "cold and deliberate" at winterfell, even killing a man with his own hand for someone else's crimes, is that really so unlike a true son of eddard stark? how different is it from what ned could have done to theon himself to punish him for his father's crimes? (surviving) child-ward-hostages always "none the worse for it" indeed.

(also interesting how jon thinks of janos slynt when asked if he could behead a wildling child. janos slynt who had sinned against jon and ned, wanting jon dead since the day they met, exactly the same as anyone to be beheaded, no matter how young or innocent. can't question jon's willingness to behead anyone else once he's executed one awful guy. it's even funnier when we the readers know janos slynt's worst sin is baby-killing as part of his old job. killing royal bastard kids like jon, no less. jon gets to (unknowingly) kill a baby-killer and threaten children in the same book, using the baby-killer's death as precedent for killing someone else's children. guess that's all part of killing the boy to let the man be born, gotta be willing to kill any man or boy. neither prince theon nor lord commander snow could afford to look a weakling to their own men or enemies. uncle maester aemon helped finish all the work ned started turning jon into a hard, strong man.)

#valyrianscrolls #asoiaf meta #asoiaf #ned stark #bran stark #theon greyjoy #arya stark #jonathan snowflake starkgaryen #wolf pack #he was his father's son. wasn't he? wasn't he? #two reasons i can't be a northern nationalist stark stan: 1. having never been up north in winter i am a weenie when it comes to cold #2. idt a clean behading works as a morality test #should we really compare stark beheading to bolton flaying and see it as a pure and sacred tradition just for being cleaner? #do y'all just not realize how hard is it is to behead someone w a giant sword? that you can ignore the sexism and ableisn and just think #theon (and robb w karstark) mustve done it freakishly wrong? #arya couldn't behead someone either. not just sansa (or bran). #her thing is stabbing and slitting throats not literally swinging a big blade like ned. and that's ok! #a humane execution method is kinda an oxymoron but idt any beheadee would be grateful for a personal messy killing by a kid as long as they #didn't enjoy it and felt kinda sad like ned afterward #even theon could pass that part of the test #do we not think roose bolton and rickard karstark could follow the old way too? #(c)lsb

[good-beans]

.

#not really a vent - just a quick thought before i sleep but like. #i keep thinking about that post #theres no way ill find it now but the gist was that 'joy is a warning bell to neurodivergent brains' #and how when we feel joy it means we've loosened up and that always leads to a problem -- #whether its getting to be Too Much or saying the wrong thing or even just getting physically loose and clumsy #but it conditions the brain to see joy as something to fear #because relaxing means we're about to fuck something up #and ive been doing so well this year keeping up with and calling people #ive felt more social lately #literally everyone has been so incredibly kind to me and i want to express how grateful i am and how much i love you all #but every time i try to i get so choked up with fear #with each wave of happiness comes one of chest-squeezing fear #im not super upset or anything (its nice to know why its happening) i just wish i knew how to unlearn it ya know 🤷‍♀️ #thats all - time to sleep #its so late -_- #awww its my pals birthday now!! earth day birthday :') too late rn but ill text him when i get up #rose rambles

[runawaymun]

amazing when the social worker at the DHS office says 'yeah I don't really understand it myself either'

#WHY is it so hard to figure out how to get psychiatric treatment salkdghsdghkl #anyway I've been playing phone tag for like a week #this is instilling soooo much confidence in the system /s #like don't get me wrong i am grateful that i have a chance at accessing treatment again but holy shit #can you guys get it together also explain your own system more clearly #i feel so bad for anyone who has worse symptoms than i do and/or was never taught how to navigate and advocate for themselves #how is any disabled person supposed to get treatment like this?

[sayheykid]

i genuinely don't think a story's worldbuilding and lore has ever drawn me in the way that check please did. it's been years and i still think about it every day. the characters and plot were always superb but i think what has stuck with me the most is the depth of the settings and how everything feels so lived in and tangible. everyone wants to make a fake world and town and university but no one else has EVER done it that well

#like the college setting especially is so delicious to me #there isn't a day that goes by that i don't think about the campus map and the building names and the haus and the stop and shops #ugh i need hardcore analysis injected into my damn veins #also this could be it's own post. but #the generations of players and how every fan has different people that really speak to them #like i'm not a huge kent/tater or dex/nursey fan and honestly am pretty ambivalent to jack/bitty #(don't take this the wrong way) #but i LOVE ransom and holster and shitty and lardo #and even some of the other characters like bully and tango though i admit the later years don't hit as hard for me as the first couple #i just love that everyone finds something to go batshit over #the attention to detail was just so so incredible and still for SURE holds up #no matter what aspect #i was never super directly involved in the fandom but when i think back on formative pieces of media for me as a person and as a writer #i don't think that there are many things that compare #if you've read my writing i don't think it's hard to see the correlation at all #also if you want to talk check please analysis (or can rec me others' analysis!!!) i'd be forever grateful #otherwise i'm just going to keep marinating forever #omgcp #check please #omg check please

[casualhedonists]

my friend keeps reposting taylor swift hate and i’m like. girl it’s fine you don’t like her but the way you’re always posting about it irks me

#tell me if i’m alone in this but. it’s just weird to me #as an example here’s this #like i’m not a sports girly myself #but as i gonna go traipse around the internet saying football sucks?? no? bc i have better uses of my time #am* #like last time i saw this same friend we were hanging out at her house and we were watching f1 bc she loves f1 #i don’t care for f1 but i also didn’t throw a hissy fit i was like. oh fun a new learning opportunity #and i’m not gonna go on an internet rampage about how i feel kinda meh about sports #bc. i just have much better things to do with my time?? #also it’s just not that deep #i love my friend don’t get me wrong but. sometimes this one thing grates on me #if you don’t like something or you’re indifferent to it? fine but why make it this massive deal?? also every time i mention taylor she goes #oh yeah i’m not a fan kinda hate her and her music #EVERY time. like. it’s not necessary #just a hint of altruism. patience. tolerance. it doesn’t hurt #｡･:*˚:✧｡ mimi speaks! #starting to think i need a vent tag atp

[sentientsky]

In the place where the foundations shiver with the weight of every ghost you’ve laid to rest beneath the floorboards / In the liminal, staticky place where you were first made monstrous (made hollow and whimpering and fickle) / In the place that tore you lengthwise and emptied you onto the front porch, you learn to swallow back the rage, hold it captive and writhing in your gut. 

You learn your way around a set of teeth.

You learn the hackles-raised, jagged-mouthedness of a home without a scrap of heat. You learn how to pull each of your canines out by the bloodied pulp, all nerve endings and the blunted edges of grief.

You learn it because what other choice do you have? What’s the alternative, when all you’ve ever known is the dull scrape of your back against the wall, of your heart tearing clear through your chest?

And god, god, god (you pray to an empty sky). God, you’re so bitter and your bones are all galvanized under your skin, and it hurts. It fucking hurts. 

And yet you’d sooner turn your own snapping jaws on yourself than risk learning what happens to animals that misbehave.

So you make yourself small, you make yourself antiseptic and supplicating and placid. You domesticate every thrashing need to escape. You walk into a family dinner with darting yellow eyes: Cerberus with three heads, each maw zip-tied shut by your own hand. You show them the soft flesh of your underbelly—you show the whites of your eyes.

You bite back the terror, you choke on the wrath. Because what else is there to do? (inspired by this post from @actual-changeling. thanks for the gut-wrench, alex </3)

#not super happy with how this one turned out but i have too much work to do to keep futzing with it ugh #we'll return to good omens content after this short break sponsored by alex “hey dude WHAT THE FUCK” changeling <3 :) #okay tbh my relationship with my parents is a LOT better now and i'm grateful for that (though i shouldn't *have* to feel grateful) #(since being decent to your kids should be a fucking GIVEN) #but some fucked up shit happened that never ever ever ever should have happened #and im still angry ab it. i love my parents + things are getting better don't get me wrong #but there's still unresolved shit i think #(ooooh i am NOT good at talking ab this outside of a poetic context am i??? my moral ocd is kicking in like “mm you're doing smthg wrong!”) #(even tho im not????) #okay done traumadumping in the tags. jester hat goes back on teehee :) #not good omens #poetry #my poetry #tw: child abuse #tw: childhood trauma #tw: blood #my words #tw: body horror #on home #on childhood trauma #dog motif #poems

[leocatbread]

goodbye my worst year (I like this compilation tho)

also sorry, too busy to make some special art for this holiday unfortunately 🙁 [even the December art here is still a wip that already changed but I am way too far from laptop to put the newer version here, tho what am i saying half of these arent finished (╯︵╰,) ]

#2023 summary of art #year summary #my art #art summary #was kinda hard to choose this time but man i love doing those (says someone who thinks of it occasionally throughout the whole year) #god i hate this year and there was barely any art and yet i somehow like the results what is wrong with me #funny how first half is mostly my ocs (except april's here) and then pure fanart #<--- thats what tumbrl does to you #but! i am actually so happy i got here you guys really saved me and i am forever grateful love yall so much 😭 #also since im new here would you like to see the previous years? this one's 7th already {skull emoji}

[licorishh]

Most people really don't seem to understand that friendship is a two-way street.

They expect you to wait on them hand and foot as they rant about and constantly pour on you either their issues or their passions and when you finally have something you'd like to talk about you get a "Man that sucks :/" or a "Cool" in return.

Find somebody who doesn't do that. Then you'll have your best friend.

#i know i ramble sometimes and i'm extremely grateful that my best friend puts up with it :') #but see then in return i do the same for her because it would be completely unfair for me to expect her to act like a wall for me to talk a #or when i wanna show her something and i can tell she's being polite and it doesn't personally strike her fancy I MOVE ON #and she does the same for me and we have way frickin better communication and we have a frickin rad friendship #it's give and take #and also can we bring back the idea of being able to work through some things on your own? #like i am ALL FOR having a support system that can encourage you when things go wrong but some things can be solved on your own #i shouldn't be bearing the burden of figuring out your life for you you know? #i'm absolutely willing to help but if you're just going to spend all your time complaining to me and never ever take my advice #then there comes a point at which i'm literally just acting as your therapist and that's not how friendships are supposed to work #i've become kind of the designated therapist in a lot of friendships throughout my life #and it is exhausting constantly being complained at (sometimes over very minor things) #only to have that person or people COMPLETELY ignore your advice every single time you try to give it #that's not friendship my dude that's using me because you just want someone to complain to #like i said. support system good. treating your friend like an emotional punching bag to let out your problems 24/7 very very bad. #like when i was feeling completely unlike myself and irritated and frustrated for three dang years straight #i didn't really talk about it much because i knew it wasn't the kind of thing advice was going to fix #so i wasn't in the discord servers every two seconds “MAN I REALLY JUST DON'T FEEL GOOD :///” #because when other people do this to me there comes a point at which i'm like “WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT” #like i've given you all the advice i have and you have taken absolutely none of it nor have you taken any action on your own #so now i'm just here to make you feel better about yourself and that's really not my job #emotional support is necessary. patting you on the head when you refuse to do anything to better your situation is not. #tl;dr people who refuse to do anything to better their situation other than complain to ME about it 24/7 drive me nuts #and it drives other people nuts so please don't do it to anyone #don't bottle up your emotions but also don't let them come crashing down and drown everyone you know #just because you can't be bothered to put ANY effort forth to contain them #emotional regulation is attractive~~~ #society today has built such a culture of “it's not YOUR fault and if you cry about it hard enough someone will fix it for you” like no sir #sometimes it IS your fault and sometimes you DO need to take responsibility #and if it is your fault then absolutely no one but you is obligated to fix it