#hopefully i can make more polished stuff for it in the future

[diginuisance]

The benefits of having a ridiculously tall sibling

#hollow knight #the hollow knight #hornet hollow knight #ghost hollow knight #i've been hyperfixated on this game for like 2 months now #my motivation for art is at an all time low but i had to draw at least a little bit for it!! #hopefully i can make more polished stuff for it in the future #digi art

[greentrickster]

Canceling Internal Cringe Culture to Start Writing

Okay, I just got asked on AO3 about how to start writing in the face of cringe culture, especially the internalized sort, and I have a feeling this might be applicable to more than one person. So I’m gonna share what I told them with all of you as well! Here it goes:

Hmmm, this one's actually a little hard? Just because I've been writing for over twenty years now, and when I started, cringe culture just... high-key didn't exist. Neither did AO3. Tumblr was Right Out.

All that said... hmm... well first? Instead of using any sort of app or program, get a notebook - whatever floats your boat (I like to use ones with nice pictures on the front, but my sister uses those little pocket-sized ones) - and write in that instead. Even if you're not used to writing like that, give it a try anyway, because writing in a book makes it private, makes it personal, makes it just for you. And if it's just for you, then who cares if it's cringe? It's for you, no one else, and it's makes you happy, which is much more important! I like to use pens with green ink in my writing books. It sparks joy and adds an extra layer of good to the process. It may be slower, but it’s also an activity and movement that’s completely disconnected from all the nonsense on the internet, which can hopefully make it easier to ignore all that.

(If the page looks too big and blank and intimidating, I suggest adding stickers or a silly sketch or something. You can write around them, it’s fine.)

Just as important? Love what you're writing. This isn't 'content' or a product, this is a story or a poem or a memory. This is something you're writing down because you want to remember it. So love it. Indulge yourself, then indulge yourself more. Put everything you want to see into this, because you're also sitting in the audience, a very eager audience member and- hey, what do you know? The audience-member-who-is-you also just happens to be an up-and-coming new producer, everything they touch has been a hit so far, and they're taking an interest in your work. They think there could be something special there, that you, yes you, could be the next big thing. So be super sure to cater directly to this audience-member-who-is-also-you, it could lead places in the future.

Another thing that I find surprisingly helpful? The concept that there are no original ideas left in the world. A lot of creatives find this one super demoralizing or depressing, but I find it encouraging. Because it means, if I've had an idea, then someone else has had it, too. And that someone else probably wants to see it, even if they've made their own version of the idea. Heck, there could be a lot of someones! And they're cheering for you, so go for it!

And finally, the hardest part... you have to make a choice. Which do you care about more: listening to the part that cringes or writing? You can't care about both equally. You just can't. Writing is a lot of fun, but, like any creative form, it's also a lot of work. I didn't sit down and start writing at my current skill level, this is the result of two decades of practice, polishing, and honing my abilities. Looking back, the amount of work I put into all this is kind of staggering. But I didn't do it because 'I have to' or 'it's necessary.' I did it because I love writing, because I knew I could get better and I wanted to. And yeah, sometimes that involved doing stuff that was scary. There will always be aspects of it that are scary. I still get scared when I introduce certain new aspects to this fic, or enter new fandoms, or try something different. Writing can be hard and scary, that's just part of it. But the idea of not writing... that's so much worse.

You're starting in a really rough time for beginner creatives. Cringe culture, purity culture, cancel culture... all disgusting trends that need to end yesterday, if not sooner. It can be hard and scary to try because of all that. So step away from all that, take a chance somewhere private and safe that's just for you, and be brave. Choose to please yourself before anyone else. Love your stories, your characters, and the part of you that loves them, and take that first step. The best time to start a new project was probably yesterday, but the second best time to start one is always now. ;)

#Writing tips #writing advice #life advice #writing stuff

[randevu-01]

2023 art summary time!

some of my thoughts and comments are below the cut :)

This was... an interesting year. I got out of my DmC shell (after 3 or 4 years) and spent most of the year obsessing over other fandoms, e.g. Call of Duty of all things lol. I also got into Trigun, watched and loved both adaptations, as well as Fullmetal Alchemist and Death Note - quite an accomplishment for someone who generally doesn't like anime. Oh, and closer to the end of the year I discovered a whole new world of music band fandoms after I somehow got invested in Sleep Token and Ghost (it's the masks I'm sure)

Productivity-wise, even though I couldn't even fill in all the spots in the template, I feel like I did pretty good. Some months I didn't manage to finish anything, but October was wild, I did a lot of nice complete pieces then. A significant portion of my time and effort was put into drawing comics for the DMC ask, and I also took some commissions at the start and in the middle of the year, so there was very little time for me to make personal art, which I miss greatly and hope to make more of in 2024.

Speaking of future plans, I definitely want to give more attention to my OCs from Waffen AG and City Ghouls. When it comes to making OC content, I tend to stop at colored sketches at best, but in 2024 I hope I can make actual polished art of my characters. (Though I'm convinced that this will make my social media reach even worse than it is now, I'll try to not gaf, 'cause I learned that making and developing OCs can be super fun, and oh boy do I need that serotonin lol)

Skill-wise, I think I've definitely improved at making comics, lineart and anatomy, which were my 2023 goals a year ago. However, I feel like I could've done even better. But, again, I was pretty busy with irl stuff, so it's okay.

In general, life was pretty exciting in 2023. I visited 4 cities this summer, met my old friends and made some new ones. Despite some heath issues, I had a great time!

Thank you all for sticking around and appreciating my art! I cherish every little comment and reblog ^^

Hopefully, I'll be able to reach even more people on this platform in 2024. Happy New Year!

#art summary #art summary 2023 #2023 art summary #2023 summary of art #summary of art 2023 #summary of art

[viis-here-idk-why]

Say hello to Kingdom of the Local Anthill!

Say hello as well to my first micronation oc post, hopefully of many hehe

Also if youre here from the poland tag, this is a polish micronation, so, feliks child feliks child

Sadly, i was only able to find information on this micronation through the microwiki page, since i couldnt find any other pages for it. Any help on finding out more would be very much appriciated!

So! About Pietr! Immediately i will say, i chose the name purely because it sounded nice, any input on better names would also very much be appriciated! But for this post, i'll be sticking with Pietr

Once again, since there isnt that much info i could find on the micronation, for his personality i kind of hima'd it (aka, just bullshitted it)

He's cheery, literally a one year old, as the micronation announced its independance only a little over a year ago, but he tries his hardest to seem older, and cant say his age without adding that technically the anthill has existed since the 1950s, so he'd be the oldest in the group (and then gets glared at by seborga)

He tries to be very formal in his way of speaking, but struggles a bit with that, as he tries to copy what the macronations around him say, and the main one is Feliks, so he's mistakingly integrated a lot of slang into his hyper-formal way of speaking. (Hutt River and Molossia help him with that)

He takes his role as a personification very seriously, so seriously that he often will point out if something around his house could hurt or bother the ants! He has made feliks "throw out" anything that has a scent that ants dont like (he still has everything, just doesnt use it in front of pietr) and acts offended and as if he dislikes the scent as well (he actually enjoys lots of the scents, but thinks he'd be bad at his job if he admitted it)

Of course, he will start telling ant facts to anyone that he sees, and talks a lot about them with the micronation group

In his little backpack (made by eduard, nobody can tell otherwise) he carries everything that his overly worried family makes him bring around: bandaids, disinfectant, a snack just in case, and of course, his Carpenter Ant Plushie(TM)

Onto how everyone around feels about him, his family loves him, he's the little baby, and they all try their best of raising him.

Feliks and Tolys are trying to parent, and doing fine somehow? They bring him everywhere, and listen to him ramble about ants for hours (Tolys asks enough questions to keep him going on and on)

Eduard is the cool older brother, he brings him places when tolys and feliks are busy, and makes him stuffed animals and wooden toys (i have a stupid little headcanon that eduard really likes sewing and just making stuff in general)

Raivis is,,,,trying? He's already friends with most of the micronations, so he often accompanies him to the meetings, but he doesnt really know how to act around him, so whenever they talk he doesnt really say much, and mostly listens. (Once again, i have a headcanon that raivis is trying to figure out how the aging process works, so he's probably waiting to see how quickly he ages and also praying that he doesnt become older than him one day)

His closest friends in the micronation group are probably Hutt River, as he looks to him for advice on how to be a proper prince, he would ask Seborga but my personal version of him is not the friendliest*, Republic of Toku, and Rose Island (other micronation ocs i might maybe talk about in the future, for now just know that one is a space nerd, and the other is a fish nerd)

*I have completely different characters for seborga and molossia, and might change hutt river a bit as well, i will make sure to share them in the future!

Outside of his family and the micronation group, he doesnt really know many other people, since he's just a toddler

Well, well, well, guess who actually reached the end! I dont have anything more to say currently! If i find more i will add!

For reaching the end of this stupid little ramble, have Pietr in timeout

Also, here's the link to the microwiki page if you'd like to learn more!

#oop #just realized the theres a dot in the reference sheet #oh well #im not fixing it #OMG AND IN THE WRITING???? #why do i suck at this ;-; #well #youre keeping this #hetalia #hetalia oc #aph poland #? #ehh #its for the feliks enjoyers #aph micronations #hws micronations

[ninapi]

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Save me (Semi Version)

Premise: Semi never thought he would find love where his insecurities laid deep, he never thought someone so broken could be so full of love, he never thought he needed to feel loved as much until he met you.

World Count: 2684

Chapter 5: Acceptance.

The last few days have been increasingly good, the weather was nice, food was delicious, the birds seemed to be singing more often. Living with Semi even if it was just for a short period of time was doing wonders to your mood and overall health, sleeping not being a taxing task any longer.

The both of you would get up extra early to take in the homey vibes the whole experience had, milking the few days you had together to its max. He would go for a morning run while you prepared breakfast, you can now cook his favorite type of eggs to perfection and he presumptuously makes better tea that you’d ever been able to in your life, him swearing it was his first time even trying. You would eat together in the small kitchen table, not bothering on moving to the dining area, wanting to be as close as possible; you chatted of nonsensical funny stuff for a good fourty minutes every morning, mostly it was all about the volleyball team though.

Walking together to school was so very refreshing, being under the early morning sun, getting some very much needed exercise, the littlest act of holding his hand all the way to the lockers, all of it got you in such a great mood, even the pop quiz from the other day went wonderfully.

You had a deep conversation with Semi last night he had to accept the fact that you would be involved in things he might not want you to be associated with, but it was for the best, for a brighter future without regrets and irrational fear. “I’ll be fine, Eita. I promise. I just want to be able to continue living like this, without worries, enjoying my days with you, the sun, life in general. I won’t be able to fully achieve this until he understands it as well and is able to move on.” He really didn’t want Oikawa anywhere near his precious girlfriend, but he gets it and would support you till the very end, even if that requires for him to get physical with the setter and possibly expelled from the team if caught.

He would be there for you.

You sent a text to Iwaizumi telling him you wanted to meet with your ex, you valued his input and his opinion, always, and he appreciated that very much. In all truth, he wanted to stop you from going through such an uncertain path, he knows you and treasures the small friendship you had when younger, he wanted to protect you, after all, he was appointed to be your part-time bodyguard back then, he developed some sort of attachment. But he was also worried about his friend. Just thinking of the old Oikawa made him sag on his chair. When you broke up with him, he was so enraged that not even him was capable of stopping his outbursts. Thankfully they didn’t last long, and it went back to a day-by-day thing with him. Some days were good, some were bad, but he now had a reputation to polish and take care of, couldn’t be seen in public acting the way he previously did.

You needed his help and that was a fact, so you agreed with him when he said you had to wait until one of his good days. He would text you the next day and if he was in a decent mood then he would do his best to take him to you and hopefully get this mess finally straighten out and close that chapter of your lives once and for all.

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

Tomorrow would be your last night sleeping in Semi’s place and even if it made you feel a bit sad, you were no longer feeling scared and know you will be able to go back to your dorm just fine.

You will miss him, though.

The air was chilly, but you wanted to see the full moon out on his room’s balcony. Semi brought some pillows and blankets out, along with a steaming hot mug of his delicious tea for you to share while enjoying your nightly rendezvous together. Not like this would be the very last, but the both of you knew the next one won’t be as soon as you wish it was.

Semi was surprisingly good with constellations, telling you all about the mythology behind them, almost falling asleep on his chest, his mellow voice lulling you to sleep in the comfort of his arms.

Your thoughts were deviating from reality when suddenly you felt very grateful towards Tōru. If it wasn’t for him, you would have never come to Shiratorizawa and probably never meet Semi, even if you did by following Tōru around, it wouldn’t have come to this. This overwhelming feeling of happiness.

Some people say you can’t be happy if you don’t experience hardships.

You get to appreciate the little things until you no longer have them, taking for granted things you never thought you could miss, like the sense of safety. Getting that back is irreplaceable, and accepting your past is the only way there is to move on from it.

Later that night you got a text from Iwaizumi saying his mood had been stable for the past couple of days and he thought it would be a good idea to go ahead with the plan tomorrow’s afternoon before anything else happened. However, it came with one condition, he and Semi would be as close as possible to the two of you just in case things went south. He wanted to guarantee your safety no matter what the outcome was.

After discussing it with your very reluctant boyfriend, you all agreed to meet after class in a park that was equally far from both schools, to be fair.

And just like that, your wonderful domestic bubble was about to burst. But memories are things we carry with us for the rest of our lives, and this wouldn’t be the exception, owning the warmest side of your heart.

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

Being scared was a thing of the past for you, all you wanted was to move on with your life, you even wished it had been dealt with sooner.

Today was the day, the day to face your fears, to get your life back completely.

You could see Oikawa already there waiting for you when you arrived, he was sipping on some juice under the shade of a big tree, playing with the grass under his feet. Iwaizumi was stationed close by on a bench and Semi decided to stay a bit farther away to avoid getting seen by him and getting on his bad side.

“Hey stranger.” you took the space beside him on the lush grass, not too far away but minding your distance. “I guess you called me out here to formally break up with me, huh?” his voice was nothing but a whisper, you could breathe in his sadness, but he seemed to be his normal self today, it was finally time to talk like the almost adults you were, “I’m worried about you Tōru. I thought by going our separate ways you wouldn’t have to think about my safety or other guys taking me away. I thought you would be able to get some time back for yourself, more time to practice and focus on the things you really love. I thought that would be the best for both of us but doesn’t seem to me like it worked.” he laid down on the grass, patting the space beside him with his hand for you to lay there together, enjoying the nice weather a higher power gifted you to overcome the difficulty of it all. “You thought I’d be fine without you? It’s true that I was obsessing about those things, but it just got more unbearable when you left. I’ve been trying to ignore it and move on, but I never managed to stop thinking about you, not even delete your pictures, I think about you constantly and wish I had done things differently. Sometimes I feel like it was all just a nightmare and I’d wake up to a good morning text from you. I still don’t know where things went wrong.” you never thought he’d be thinking of his wrongdoings it was almost clear to you and Iwaizumi that he didn’t even remember half of the things he did on really bad days, that was an unexpected but endearing fact.

“I think things went wrong when you felt your position was threatened, in the team and well with me, I guess. Things can get a bit out of control when we are afraid of losing what we hold dear, that’s why I stayed by your side for so long. I wanted to help you overcome all your negative feelings and turn them into happy ones, but I guess that wasn’t enough, or at least not what you needed.” he was laying on his side now, looking at you with misty eyes. He really missed your softness, even when you started drifting away from him, you were always there for him regardless of how much bullshit he put you through. He missed your hugs, your words of encouragement, the way you made him laugh. He was very lucky to find someone like you, but he knows he messed it all up.

“I wish I knew how to control this. That day you ended up hurt, I said it was your fault, but I know it was mine. I never wanted you to even know what getting punched felt like, you were my princess, all I wanted to protect, and I was the one that destroyed it all, it wasn’t even him, it was all me.” a stray tear fell down his cheek, tugging at your heartstrings, but you had to be strong for him.

“It’s ok, Tōru. I know. And I forgive you for everything. But please, promise me you will look for help. If you need me to be there for you, I can even go with you and find a good therapist. I will be there for you like you were there for me when I needed you the most. All I want is for the loving Tōru I know to comeback and never leave again.”  rolling over to you, he brought you into a tight embrace, crying on your shoulder. Semi was running your way, but Iwaizumi stopped him, he would never hurt you for real, you both knew that, his friend needed this, you needed this.

“All the therapy I need is your love, (Y/N). It is enough, I’m sorry I made you feel like it wasn’t.” his broken sobs were new to you, no matter how many times you’ve seen him cry, it always felt like guilty crying, this was the first time you could feel his sadness and willingness to change in it. “No, it isn’t, Tōru. You need professional help; I want you to feel better. I know behind all that confidence you show the world, you’re just as full of insecurities as we all are. Let’s look for help, ok? I’m sure Iwaizumi-san will be there for you as well.” he just nodded in silence, accepting your terms.

“If I go to therapy, will you….” he looked up at you with hopeful eyes, but he didn’t like what he saw on yours, “No, Tōru. I will go with you. I will support you as best as I can, but as a friend. You know I have a boyfriend now and I am very content with how that’s going.” thankfully, he was truly grasping the situation without getting agitated. “Alright.”

You let him calm down in your arms before getting yourself up and walking over to your boyfriend, handing a slightly better-looking Tōru to his loyal friend.

Healing will take time, but loving and supporting friends can really be a powerful medicine.

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

That night Semi cooked for you, he looked for some of his mother’s recipes and did his best to spoil you. If his tea was this good maybe he had some other secret abilities, his mom was very good at it, maybe he took after her.

Dinner was not fancy by any means, your favorite comfort food served messily in plastic bowls. But so much love went into it that even swallowing was difficult, your tears getting stuck in an overwhelming act of adoration.

After a warm shower and delicious meal, you headed to his room to spend your last night together. It wasn’t like you would never get another chance to do this, but the idea of sleeping on his own was making Semi’s chest tighten, he wishes he wasn’t just a boy and could actually do more for you.

But time would come for that, eventually.

“I’m so proud of you, (Y/N), you are so strong. I’m sure that couldn’t have been easy, and you managed to fix it all on your own. What you’re doing for him is probably more than he deserves, but that’s just one of the things I love about you the most, you just have so much love to give.” his words were filling you with so much joy, it was tough, specially seeing him so broken, he was your first of many things, but in all honesty, you were a bit too young, your real first love title was owned by Semi Eita.

“I was able to do it just because I have you by my side. I feel so much better since we got together, like I don’t have to hide a part of me that was crumbling, like I can finally move on and be myself.” he placed an adoring kiss on the top of your head before tilting your face up to kiss your lips ever so tenderly. There was so much love in that shared kiss, so many unspoken feelings, understanding, belonging, love on its purest of ways. “Same can be said on my end. I was always feeling so sour, the Shirabu thing was eating me completely, turning my thoughts very dark, even I got worried about my own future, but when you came to my life you made me realize I was being unreasonable, there will always be someone better than us, but if we don’t fight for what we want or show what we are made of we’ll always be stuck in that negative circle of hate. Thanks to you my life is so different now, I even cooked today, that’s unheard of.” chuckling you peppered kisses all over his face, making him smile “I’m just glad you are finally seeing yourself how we all see you, a wonderful setter, friend and the best boyfriend there is~’ the softest of pinks was gracing his cheeks, his signature scowl on full display, “Oh shut up, will you.” smothering you with kisses, this is how you spent your last night together.

Saying you didn’t want things to move along in the relationship was a lie.

But you were both happy with how much you have accomplished the past week. Looking back a couple of months, you weren’t even able to go to the convenience store by your school on your own and now you’re even walking a great distance every day to get to school, like if nothing ever happened. You knew it was all thanks to him but also thanks to your willpower growing stronger every day.

The last thing you were looking for when you came to Shiratorizawa was to get into a sappy high school drama like relationship, but you had no regrets.

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Tagged babes: @dazaisfavgf, @lauraagrace

Previous chapter Masterlist Next Chapter

#semi eita #semi x reader #semi eita x reader #haikyuu!! #fluff #angst #slow burn #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #hurt/comfort #haikyu imagines #haikyu x reader #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x f!reader #haikyuu x female reader #hq fluff #hq x you #hq #hq x y/n #hq x reader #shiratorizawa #part of a series #oikawa toru #iwaizumi hajime #mental health issues #oikawa x reader #healing

[lotusprotocol]

dreamcatcher devlog: past 3 months (oops)

(screenshot from current wip level, out of orbit)

full devlog below the cut!

long time no see! really sorry for missing the past two months; i never ended up getting started and by then it was too late to post. i'll try my best not to let this happen again, though i can't make any promises.

anyways, there's been a lot in the past couple months! without further ado, here's everything(?) that's happened since the last devlog:

i started off in december by getting some of the core mechanics working, such as the camera, level transitions, etc. the visuals aren't completely done yet, but my main priority is getting the mechanics to actually work, and i'll make them look good later.

i did a lot of work on optimizing the performance and build size of my game, which i made a few posts about (big one about build size here)

i made another track for one of the levels, and i think i've been improving at music! here's the audio:

(i also tried making album art later in december but it didn't turn out good so i'll redo it at some point)

one of the most important things i did in december was get playtesters! i made applications open from the 15th to the 22nd, and chose 6 people who submitted. it was hard for me to leave people out though, but applications may be open again sometime in the future.

i set up a daily goals list to put 5 things on every day, and hopefully stay focused. admittedly, it's been a while since i used this list, and i lowkey forgot about it until i looked through my post history before making this devlog, but i think i'll get back into it this month.

i also set up a twitch channel! i'll be streaming over at https://www.twitch.tv/lotus_protocol if you want to check it out!

i was on break for the last week of december, so i was able to get a lot more done in that time. i also got a stylus, which is a really nice upgrade from drawing with my finger before, and did a lot of practice with it.

january didn't start off great, and i barely got anything done over the first couple weeks. i was eventually able to get back in the groove, but i had a sucky feeling during that time since this game's a big part of my life and my mood depends quite a bit on it (in a healthy way though, it's not out of control)

when i came back to working on the game, i polished some stuff up before pushing the first playtester build! i got some valuable advice, and it went pretty good.

i wrote down the outline for the entire story! there's still some wiggle room if i want to go back and change anything, but it's nice to have it down instead of only in my head, and i've wrote the dialogue for a few scenes already.

i've been improving my art a considerable amount over january and february! i've gotten a lot more confident in my art as well, which motivates me more to make it!

(pencil sketch from mid february; there's quite a few mistakes here and there but i still really like it)

i continued working on one of the levels, which was what i did for the rest of the month. not much i can say here, but it's been shaping up pretty good so far!

to be honest, february wasn't a good month for development. i had a lack of motivation and a lot of work to do for other things in my life, and there was barely anything new from last month.

the main thing i did in february was work on the tas tools for the game more, which are coming along nicely. i've been having an issue with consistency and don't know exactly what's causing it, but i'll figure it out eventually.

(unrelated to dreamcatcher but) during february, i took some time to make a side project i had been wanting to do for a long time: an upgraded level editor for red ball, a flash game that i enjoy. there's still plenty of work to do on it, but so far it's pretty nice, and it's not my main focus right now.

(screenshot of the tool, you can find it here it you're interested)

i've also been delaying the next playtester build for a long time, and it was originally supposed to come out at the start of last month; if there's any playtesters reading this, sorry again! i'll hopefully have it done this month.

i finished off february by making some more music! here's a wip from a few days ago:

and that's it for the past 3 months! with all that being said, here's what i plan on doing next month:

get the current wip level done, and hopefully do another full one

finish all story scenes for the demo

push at least two new playtester builds

do some story art if i have time

enjoy the process :]

that's all for this devlog, and if you made it this far, thanks for reading! right now, i'm trying to get the demo out by august this year, so expect to see something done by then. also feel free to join the discord server, where you can get more regular updates, ask me questions, or chat with the community! anyways, signing off now, have a great day!

#dreamcatcher game #devlog #gamedev #indiedev

[tarrenterror25]

Idk if you’re still writing for the rogues but if you are then what about them (any, or one, it’s entirely up to you!) with a goth s/o? Hope you’re well and good luck with these next couple weeks! ❤️❤️❤️

I want to write sooo much more for this, but don't have the time currently, but hopefully I can give a much more detailed blurb in the future! 😭💕 I hope you like these!

Thank you for the luck! It's a crawl, but I'm almost done with it!

You know I gotta do Two-Face and Black Mask for this one.

Two-Face

-Obviously, Two-Face likes the more uh, risqué clothes you wear.

-Harvey actually...kinda likes the music. The more synth sounds, anyways. Two-Face digs it, too, but neither of them really care for anything leaning towards metal, gives them a headache. Likes artists like Blutengel, Gary Numan, some Bahaus

-If anyone tries to say anything about your style, both are ready to throw hands, no questions. He is your ride or die.

-the type of goth that I think would pair well with him is either (I may be projecting here, I apologize) a soft romantic goth or a chaotic pastel goth. The reason being the contrasting styles and personalities, ya know, because duality and all.

Black Mask

-Definitely is into corporate goths (the tight skirts or pinstripe pants and classy jackets, etc.) If you have an inverted goth aesthetic (white instead of black) and you wear the more romantic/vampire style, oh he's definitely approaching you first.

-He digs the corsets. A lot. (Guy, gal, or gender neutral, doesn't matter, he loves that shit.)

-He loves the macabre side of your style: the skulls, specimens, and all the spooky things. He'll even let you put some of that stuff up in his place.

-Someone says something about your style, it's on sight.

-Some artists he digs are Priest, ††† (Crosses), and he doesn't mind if you throw on some Type O Negative.

Firefly

-I can see him be really into someone with a cybergoth style.

-He digs the heavier music for SURE. Likes stuff like Combichrist, Ludovico Technique, and Slipknot

-Super supportive of your style and loves helping style you; he'll bring you any spare tech bits and baubles for you to use for your looks.

-loves to go out dancing and to concerts with you!

-If you wear the big skirts/dresses/frills/ruffles/lace, he's just super careful that you don't catch on fire

-he's got major golden retriever energy for you!

Riddler

-I see him being more intrigued by someone with a nu goth style. It matches his more polished looks.

-he's going to try and seem like a know it all, but this is clearly something he knows little about and you can either choose to playfully school him and affectionately put him in his place or be casually aloof about it like "oh, yeah, guess that's cool" which will bother him and make him chase you to impress you with his knowledge

-he doesn't mind that you dress different, he's got way too much confidence and audacity in himself and he's going to give some to you (if you need it). Head up, shoulders back, and show these people who's the superior one.

-I see him liking stuff like She Wants Revenge or Depeche Mode

#thanks for asking 💖 #gotham rogues #batman rogues #rogues gallery #goth!reader #two face #black mask #firefly #riddler

[veiledlinks-vn]

Hellu, everyone! I hope March has been treating you all well! ^^

Spring is still far away here, and the constant change in temperatures resulted in me catching a cold twice. So annoying...

Work has been going steady, though, and I thought it could be fun to share some of the progress I've done this month!

Almost all the variables have been coded for two character routes! The third needs more work, but there's been steady progress there as well.

While I use a lot of free assets for my backgrounds, I sometimes have to either buy assets or just make them myself. One of them was close to being bought, but I decided against it and made it myself instead. It still needs polishing, real life got in the way, but we'll get there!

A little preview, wonder what this can be and where you find it. :3c

3. What will be a third of the future demo is almost completely proofread and coded. The other two thirds are drafted and will soon be edited.

4. Some of the sprites have gotten a few more facial expressions and outfits, with pleasing results. ^^

5. The probably last sprite got finished! I had a blast with that one and can't wait to show it in the game. ^^

6. I also continue to do stuff in the wrong order and rewrote 4 larger sections, but they turned out much better (lesson for the day, kids, let things take time).

7. A good chunk of CG work has been done, but I don't want to say how much.

8. And of course, drafting and editing has been done, on older scripts as well as new ones.

That's it for now. I'm continuing on into April with more excitement (and hopefully less health issues). Take care, everyone!

#yugioh vrains #ygo vrains #vrains #veiled links #visual novel #devlog

[creativenicocorner]

2022 Writing Retrospective

2022 was a very interesting year. It certainly went places. It was a year in which I took a slight break from Trollhunters, but also the year I first dipped my toes into writing Discworld fanfic, which has been an incredible and fun san box to play in so far, and I sincerely look forward to posting more. 

I’m also fine with admitting that I certainly didn’t write as much as I would have liked in 2022. But that was mainly due to getting a rather intense and draining job which left me with not as much energy as I would have liked. Because of that I found myself making piece with the concept of just writing with less perfectionism in mind...this might lead to not as much polished stuff published in the future...I’ve made peace with imperfections, and hopefully (while always striving to do as well as I can) I can also be less hard on myself when works are less than perfect when published. In short this might be the dawn of what a dear friend of mine titled “The Sketchbook Era” haha  

We’ll see 

2022 STATS 

2022 Total number of.. User Subscriptions: 14 Kudos: 261 Comment Threads: 85 Bookmarks: 56 Subscriptions: 69 (hehe) Word Count: 60,501 Hits: 4,230

Top five hits/fics of 2022:

1) Unbecoming 2 Electric Boogaloo 2) Trial Runs and Errors 3) Small Soppy Snippets 4) The Runaway's Gamble 5) The Start of a New Story

2023 Expectations? Goals? Some sort of word like that...

While I am no longer in a sucky soul destroying work place job, I have a lot of personal projects planned that I’m working on, and a number of ideas in mind to help further my own career. I hope I’ll be able to find a good balance this year between personal/RL situations, and this lovely hobby. I want to grow as a person, a better person, I want so many things for my future...but that can only be possible if I plant the right seeds, and be kind to myself along the way. 

There’s a number of Discworld fics I want to crank out, and personal HC and ideas I would love to share and explore. Especially the relationship between Sam Vimes and Moist von Lipwig, as well as the Sto Helit family. I think about them a normal amount lol

I’d also like to tentatively step back into the ToA world, but it’ll probably be more of a wiggling shuffle. It would be grand if I could manage to get a chapter of either Unbecoming 2, Alto Mare , or Terpsichore out (hell it would be phenomenal if I finally finish ACT I of Terpsichore!! But that’s shooting for the stars lol) we’ll see...no promises though  

I’d also like to return to some of my DnD character fics. Between the two DnD fics I have so far there’s a good chance I might be able to publish something for Come on Eileen! though the next chapter may or may not be just a full comic instead of posted in its experimental script form.

 I’d like to explore comic making more, especially with what I have planned in the more professional future.   

And that’s that on that I suppose! 

Thank you for reading this far, and happy 2023, may it bring softness and good fortune to all. 

Stay awesome out there

Best wishes

#Nico blabs into the void #Nico writes #retrospective #ToA #Discworld #DnD

[anonofseasons]

Edited 4 chapters so far, and I've caught a few errors. I've mostly fixed sentences to better phrase them or make them less confusing. But I've also caught Howie swearing once in his narrative? He said "damn" and he would never say that. I don't know how that slipped in! I've omitted it. (For the record, Viv and Graham avoid using foul language even privately.) I also realized Howie said he was the first to leave his room to visit El's, but Beau is already there and had time to fall asleep, meaning... Beau was the first to leave his room! Fixed that too. It's a little embarrassing when stuff like this slips by, but I'm my own editor. Fresh eyes after not seeing these chapters in a while has given me an opportunity to catch errors clearly, and that's nice. I feel more confident about fixing some of the chapters I didn't like as well, so hopefully I can clean this mess up! I'm also getting little bits of inspiration for scenes I'd like to add in the future. (One of them is that Howie never did paint Bee his flower...) I don't mind anyone ever pointing out errors like the above situations, but no one is obligated to point them out either? It's complicated. I wish I had a beta, but for this, I'd want to pay them, and I have no money to spare. So that's how it goes, and I will just edit a few more times to polish this up. I don't think Seasons is bad or anything, but errors happen and I'd like to fix them. Long stories have them. I get that. No writer can shield against the occasional contradiction or confusing lines. I'd just like it to be the best I can make it by the time I'm posting the final chapter. Heck, I'd like to know how many chapters this monster will have!

#Anonyseason's editing adventures

[nagichi-boop]

Okay time to share my thoughts on the new Scarlet and Violet trailers (including which I’ll likely be getting).

Click here to watch the trailer if you haven’t yet

Pokemon Scarlet & Violet trailer spoilers (including screenshots)

(I’ll also be elaborating on my throwaway post about Submas in SV)

Okay so first of all, I went into the trailer with very little expectations and I am cautiously optimistic about what we will see in the game.

I love the look of the textures for the Pokémon. I still think I’ll be going for Sprigatito, especially given how soft it looks and the fact it’s cry literally sounds like a cat purring. But I’m definitely warning to the other two. I just hope Sprigatito has good evo’s or else this may be the first game I refuse to evolve my starter lol. Side note, but if you look at the description for Sprigatito, it mentions how when it kneads with its paws, it lets out a therapeutic atomic. This cat is an emotional support Pokémon and I’m all for it.

An interesting thing is that they now have a professor per game? It’s especially interesting that Sada (left) seems to be dress in more “historic” clothing whereas Turo (right) looks more “futuristic”. But more on that in a sec.

I watched the trailers with a Discord group on VC and someone pointed out that the games are non-linear, so you can (theoretically) advance the game how you choose. There’s a clip in the trailer where the three trainers go down different paths on a crossroad which may be to illustrate this point.

Also, following Pokémon seem to be making a return. Hopefully the mechanic will be more polished in the new games.

My general opinion on the new Pokémon is…well, I think I will need some time to warm up to them. Lechonk is warming to me the fastest simply because of its name lol.

Speaking of new Pokémon, we have Koraidon (left) and Miraidon (right). An interesting note is “korai” means “ancient” and “mirai” is “future” in Japanese, which seems to lean more into the concept of two separate themes. Some people in the discord VC speculated that the story will be about the conflict between tradition vs progression.

I assume the story will have some sort of resolution where a balance is struck between the two concepts, but it’ll be interesting to see how these two themes play out I think.

Headcanon time below

…so are you ready for my outlandish Submas theory? No? Who cares, you’re gonna get it.

Currently Ingo is chilling in Hisui, right? And we all sorta assume that Emmet is searching for him (unless you believe that headcanon that Ingo only ‘blipped’ for a few seconds or that PLA is a separate timeline to the main games). And people have pointed out there’s evidence that Ingo would eventually return to modern times.

What if Ingo did return but didn’t immediately regain his memories? He ends up in…whatever the region is called and is greeted by Professor Sada, who expresses her desire to honour tradition and the past, perhaps commenting on Ingo’s attire. Although the region is a bit different to Hisui, Ingo feels almost at home there as a lot of things that are familiar to his like in Hisui. (I assume that there’s perhaps a split in towns that honour tradition and those that embrace technology.)

Meanwhile, Emmet is in his quest to find where Ingo has gone and discovers a region where the scientists are working on a way to time travel. Perhaps at this point Emmet is aware of where Ingo is or is simply chasing theories (I’ll assume the former, maybe he sees stuff in a book or museum). He travels to the region and arranges a meeting with Professor Turo.

At some point the professors talk to the twins about how they disagree with the beliefs of the other professor. Some of the people from either stance sees the other twin with the other professor and confusion arises. Ingo insists he hasn’t ventured to the side of those who are more modern as he finds comfort in the ways of the past. Emmet is initially confused but in the context of time travel, he suddenly gets ecstatic and realises that it’s possible Ingo could be the other person.

Professor Turo obviously wants to know how Ingo wound up in their region and he works with Emmet to try and get Ingo to join them, but ofc Ingo’s memories are still foggy. He seems to recognise Emmet to a degree, but he for some reason seems reluctant to leave and becomes overwhelmed to venture away from the familiarity of the more traditional parts of the region, that it reminds him of “home”. Prof Turo tries to convince (or maybe manipulate? idk if he’s gonna be a villain in the story lol) Emmet into thinking Ingo needs to let go of the past, whereas Prof Sada insists that Ingo’s time in the past needs to be honoured as a part of himself.

I don’t have many ideas outside of that, but assuming the main game addresses the fact that both tradition and progression in society are equally valuable, Ingo and Emmet eventually reach a point where they respect one another and are truly reunited.

Emmet wants Ingo to be comfortable of course and so he learns that Ingo can’t let go of the past, that his experiences in Hisui are a part of him. But Ingo learns that change isn’t always bad, perhaps thinking back to how the Hisuian people were largely afraid of Pokémon, and of course Emmet reminds him of the joy of trains.

It’s a slow development, but it ends with them showing a desire to work together to get to a place of comfort. It’s not the same as it was before Ingo disappeared, but they would work their hardest to live their new life together.

(I would assume this happens mostly post game tho, or if it’s in the main story, it would be a side story and not part of the main plot. Though that would be extremely cool.)

— x —

Sooo those are my thoughts. This post was mostly me wanting to brain storm a way to get Ingo and Emmet into the story, even tho I’m pretty confident that they won’t be.

A girl can dream. u_u

#pokemon #pokemon scarlet #pokemon violet #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon sv #pokemon sv spoilers #submas #ingo #emmet #nagichi talks

[scasuallypursuits]

#15: Locking in during my commission. Also reviving my game dev tool thing.

Mostly did commission this week but at the end of the week, re opened an old project.

I intend to finish this commission this week but a heatwave blasted through the area and as a guy with no AC, I can't work during at this heat. Ended up only working only at night. Though I did end up moving my sleeping schedule more into the night so I can skip the hot afternoon. Actually works too.

With this new work time, hopefully, I can finish this out this week cuz it's been a month since the initial commission. Also be able to do the zelink thing right after this also.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------At the end of the week, I don't feel like doing art during the hot hot afternoon but my mind still needed some stimulation so I re started my game dev tool, "Dialogue System." Using godot with the Dialogue Manager addons as a base. It only provides the writing the dialogue part of the system so I need to hook it up to all output stuff of it.

When I find this good enough, I intend to make this a component I could use in my future project. I plan to battle test this with a small game. I'm thinking like a dialogue heavy game to fully use the system. Nothing too complicated though. Case of the golden monkey is probably the gameplay loop but you can walk in the overworld rather than click and point game. I don't intend this to be a good game since this mainly a test, so to prevent me from over polishing and taking too long, I'll probably just kit bash random free assets from the internet.

#sleepy_blogging #sleepy_blogging_known

[fattyfruitmakesgames]

Game Dev Log #1 (Untitled Fatty Monster Girl Farming Sim)

July 17, 2023

Typically one would start their journey of developing a game by making some kind of log to record progress, make notes, show off what was developed and all that fun stuff. I have neglected to do so for the past 4 days of development. Oops! But, better late than never, and I feel like logging this kind of progress would do me good!

Mission Statement: Make a slice of life farming simulator but with fat monster women!

Specs: Twine Text adventure

A lot has been done in the first few days of development in this project. If I really wanted to I could even have a VERY bare bones Alpha build out, but I won’t until I get all the core features polished out. As of right now we have one (1) functional plot of land where you can grow and harvest your plants, a working system where you can sell your items, and a cow you can milk. So far so great!

Within the coming days I should be able to polish up the last bits of farm stuff before I start to tackle what else is going on in the town and with NPCs! I’m not going to make any designs for them yet until I get this done, but they should be fun to make and write! Right now we have a small list of characters that you can romance, including

-A butch weretiger -A rockabilly waitress Gorgon (style to be decided) -70′s style hippie dryad -Alien animal vender -Mean demon doctor -Shy franken-lady -Air Elemental bimbo -Her Eagle Harpy sugar momma

There’s a few more ladies I wanna make, just need to hammer out a few more details, as well as non-romancible NPCs as well (though you can fatten them up of course)

Future updates will probably be less informative as this one, as this exists as a ‘catching up’ of sorts. Though hopefully this can continue to be a daily progress!

#Game Dev log #weight gain #monster girl #farming sim #twine #wg

[veebs-hates-video-games]

There are as usual a bunch of things I've played that I have things to say about but haven't said yet and a bunch of things I've wanted to play that I haven't played yet, and a lot of that has been because of trouble getting my Concerta refilled. Now that that's finally hopefully sorted out for the immediate (and hopefully indefinite) future maybe I'll make a little bit of progress on both of those things, but in the meantime I started replaying Xenoblade Chronicles 2 instead because for some reason those games are something I can usually do even when my brain doesn’t work. I forgot how weak the first 2-3 chapters are compared to the entire rest of the game (and almost all parts of all other games in the series too), but once it finally gets going there’s lots of good stuff.

That’s not why I’m here right now though. I finally kind of impulsively grabbed the first Atelier Ryza game because I’d been meaning to check it out for a while, it was on sale, and I needed to not go over my annoyingly low bank account limit and get kicked off SSI. I have such mixed feelings about it a few hours in, which my ranting on Discord can explain.

viBRAToryblurriness: Also initial thoughts of Atelier Ryza: it has the worst opening sections of any game I've played in a long time

viBRAToryblurriness: Not even bad, just totally fails to be engaging in any way until you slog through the first hour or however long it takes to unlock being able to do literally anything

viBRAToryblurriness: The characters start out pretty generic and there's almost nothing you can interact with at first before you learn how to harvest and craft stuff, which takes way too long to be given to you

viBRAToryblurriness: You're just running through reasonably nice looking environments with absolutely nothing you can do in them at first, like not even most of the people can be talked to

viBRAToryblurriness: Once it finally gets going it seems like it has potential though, even if the crafting system is moderately poorly explained

viBRAToryblurriness: But also even then it feels like a mid-budget PS3 game with more polygons

viBRAToryblurriness: Like the world has moved forward but this game absolutely has not other than spending more money on art

viBRAToryblurriness: Also more money on boobs and thighs, which are present in truly preposterous levels for something that presents itself as so wholesome

viBRAToryblurriness: I swear every female character has boobs the size of their head and thighs the size of their torso, even if they're not adults1

viBRAToryblurriness: Video games continue to be a mistake

viBRAToryblurriness: But also I can harvest crabs from a barrel and use alchemy to transmute them into...I forget, maybe it was desserts?

viBRAToryblurriness: Bombs?

viBRAToryblurriness: I don't even know

viBRAToryblurriness: I know sea urchins can be turned into explosives, and also they come from trees, because reasons

viBRAToryblurriness: Atelier Ryza really should've taken like 20%+ of its art budget and put it toward like...making other stuff actually good instead of just good enough

viBRAToryblurriness: Like take a few extra months to figure out slightly less clunky menus, explain how things work a bit more clearly, and do a bunch of polish on various things

viBRAToryblurriness: And like spend a few weeks doing research on how other games have solved those problems since like 2008

viBRAToryblurriness: The crafting system seems potentially pretty flexible and interesting...after I looked up online how a couple basic things about it work because the game failed to explain them

viBRAToryblurriness: And the combat system is increasingly satisfying the more stuff gets unlocked, because the more stuff you do in a fight the more it rewards you by giving you what you need to do even more stuff, so it kinda snowballs if you do it right

viBRAToryblurriness: But then there are so many little things that just Should Not Be That Way if they'd had a few more months to make it actually good

viBRAToryblurriness: Like the range for interacting with things always feels slightly off from what it should be compared to every other game I've played in the past five years

viBRAToryblurriness: Or it not explaining that you have effectively infinite storage but a limited inventory, but your limited inventory is only limited when you're in places with enemies and not at home, and you have to go through a couple menus to check how much more space you have instead of there being a quick and easy way to see, which should really be in the HUD when gathering items is like half the game, and it tells you none of this or that they're automatically transferred to storage when you go back home

viBRAToryblurriness: Or like...everything else in the game is basically like that too

viBRAToryblurriness: It's always oh that's a neat idea that would be good if they'd spent another 20 minutes thinking about how to implement it before actually putting it in the game, or they figured out a good way to do it but needed to do another pass on it to fix weird quirks with it

viBRAToryblurriness: Also progressing the story is absolutely baffling

viBRAToryblurriness: Sometimes it doesn't advance because it doesn't wanna, sometimes it advances on its own without me doing the very specific things it told me to do, sometimes little skits pop up when I enter an area that feel that they're chronologically out of order

PJ O'Reilly of Nintendo Life [...] also recognized the game for its emotional narrative and strong main characters

viBRAToryblurriness: I assume all of that must happen later, because I've found no evidence of either so far

viBRAToryblurriness: Like they're fine, but so far it's all extremely generic

viBRAToryblurriness: It's like the least interesting starting party possible in a Tales game

viBRAToryblurriness: Not bad, because that would be interesting, just most of the game is the embodiment of "fine, I guess" so far

Also the map and minimap could use some work, and the camera is tolerable but not great and has the typical problem I have specifically more often with Japanese games than anything else where the max setting for camera speed needs to be straight up doubled before I’d be happy with it.

And sure that seems like a lot of complaining, and it is, but the stuff that works works well enough that I’m still going through it a bit at a time, and it has gradually been getting better overall. I hope it keeps that up to the point that it can make up for the fairly large pile of minor annoyances it’s accumulated so far.

#atelier ryza #xenoblade chronicles 2 #sort of #atelier #xenoblade chronicles #xeno

[rinitachan]

Thoughts on Sonic Frontiers So Far

So, I haven’t had loads of time to play the game so far but I’m loving it so much! It’s honestly a lot of fun, and it makes me want to keep playing, and I feel excited that I get to go home after any outing and play it more. I haven’t felt that way about most games since Darksiders Genesis or Resident Evil 2 REmake.

The writing so far has been amazing, it feels like the Archie comics (Post Penders) and the Pre-Colors era, and that just makes me happy! Don’t get me wrong, some of the meta humor from the Colors era is fine, but it’s just gotten grating and wore out its novelty pretty quick. Instead, the writing from Sonic characters feels more like they’re being their genuine selves here instead of being so try-hard like they were in Forces. And it makes sense that it’s got great writing, it got my favorite writer from the later Archie comics, one Mr. Ian Flynn. The new antagonist, Sage, feels like a much newer and better version of Infinite. She’s mysterious and robotic while also being smug. I am curious to see what she’s really all about.

The environments are so beautiful, I’m not even joking. They added a day-night cycle, and weather system. Yes, I know most open world games have this but it’s just that little bit of extra polish I love to see and it made me so happy. I was skeptical about the free-roaming/open world approach at first because I worried that Sonic Team was just trying to copy Breath of the Wild, but it feels very organic and genuine especially considering how Sonic is portrayed to be such a free spirit, giving him a wide open world makes so much more sense and gives him a lot of room to run around in. And there are so many things in the environments that it makes me really want to explore, it’s rare in a lot of games that I get to explore cool looking stuff without feeling as though I’m wasting my time, it’s just really great.

I mean it, if you showed this game to 12-year-old Rinita, she would’ve been losing her damn mind. It really takes me back to feeling like a kid again and I’m so happy with it so far! It feels like Sonic’s having his own sort of Renaissance like Disney did in the 80s and 90s, or like how Nic Cage and Keanu Reeves have been for the last little while where they’re re-inventing who Sonic is. I can only hope things continue to improve with the rise in new Sonic Media. Like hopefully the third movie is even a fraction as good as the first two have been and I hope we get more games like Frontiers in the future.

I’ll be giving Sonic Prime a look soon. :3

#sonic frontiers #thoughts so far #ian flynn #sonic the hedgehog

[aurosoulart]

(You really don't have to respond to this but I wanted to try anyway. But if you don't want to, I understand.)

I'm really struggling with my art right now since I started being pressured into thinking what I want to do in the future. I know that a lot of people don't end up following a clear path towards their goals and dreams and often struggle with paving it. Many are left unfinished and some take longer than others. But I just... I want to get into art but from where I am, it's not exactly a career that makes much money or one that's taken seriously. I know that's a situation that many artists face but it's seriously not taken as a very serious career where I'm from and artists from here often heavily depend on online connections or just end up going to other countries to either get better education or better job opportunities.

Since I began to think more about this, I've been really unsatisfied with anything I make. It's not good enough, not distinct enough, not as polished as others...just not the level I want it to be. So I try to improve and teach myself things I know I should improve on but...all it honestly did was discourage me. Everytime I make something, I just get frustrated because I'm not getting the results I want. It's been like this for...a while. A cycle of frustration, envy, doubt, and hopelessness. I get envious of my friends who do better and get frustrated with myself for not being as good and for feeling jealous. It's been taking a serious toll on my mental health.

Now, all I can think about is considering a different career and just maybe do art on the side, like a lot of artists I know. But I just...I don't see myself doing anything else but art. I'm not good with academics. I struggle even more in that area which is why I always found solace in art. That's gone now. Hopefully not permanently but...yeah.

I just don't know what I want and if that really matters compared to what I need to do to even have a future. I just don't know...

aw anon first of all I want to say that it's not a burden at all to answer questions like this and I'm honored you shared in the first place - art has a reputation for being a competitive and cutthroat field where we're all against each other, but it doesn't have to be that way 💖

this became very long so I'm putting it under a readmore so I don't assault your dashes with a wall of text:

you're definitely not alone in any of these feelings. ALL the artists I know (even the successful ones who have steady careers out of it!) feel this struggle against capitalism, against losing enjoyment, against not feeling good enough and being treated like content machines amidst a society that has lost its connection with the fact that art is the foundation for everything.

it can feel like you're living in a kind of twilight zone when you're trying to pursue art (which is something I believe is fundamental to human nature) while also trying to make a living off of it in a capitalist society that doesn't value artists but simultaneously makes billions of dollars off us! (videogames! movies! television!)

as artists we need love and enjoyment for our craft to create good art and get the drive to improve it, but the very thing we're reaching for (financial success) is the thing that sucks all that joy right out of it. it's common for people to finally break into the industry only to get chewed up and spat right back out again due to the mistreatment within it.

I think every artist at some point in their life reaches this point (the point you're at now) and has to decide... is this really worth it? should I just settle, get some other job, carve out bits of time where I can to create (something, anything) on my time off?

and a lot of people do settle! they eventually find a balance between their day jobs and their creativity, or, tragically, some give up on art altogether. it's a very personal decision and there's no shame in taking this path - in fact everything you wrote up there is stuff I consider heavily even now. (I don't make a living wage yet either and am still at the very beginning of my art career)

but there is one question that always stops me from giving up, and this is the question we should ALL ask ourselves no matter what: what do I want to do with my life? all mental obstacles, societal expectations, prior assumptions aside, what do I want to actually do with my precious time spent alive in this universe?

the answer is always to make art, to connect with and be kind to other people, to find out what art they want to make and to use my skills to help them create it.

my life path has been wildly strange as a result of me following these goals - I've struggled terribly with mental illness and have relied entirely on others (like my parents, my friends' parents, my bf) for a place to crash while I did odd jobs (I even applied to live in a commune once!), but I've mostly accepted that my 'career' path isn't going to be able to meaningfully compare to anyone else's, and as long as I'm making progress and giving back to my loved ones, it's still worthwhile to pursue. and, while progress has been slow compared to other people, I've still come so far and I wouldn't dream of trading my life for another's.

I know it's incredibly difficult but the best thing you can do is stop comparing yourself to anyone else. you have a wealth of experience within your own life, your own memories, skills, and unique perspectives, and that uniqueness is incompatible with comparison. 'could be' and 'should be' are lies our brain tells us when we're brought up in competitive societies.

what do you like? what brings you joy? how can you bring creativity into those things, and how can you share it? what did your creativity feel like as a child? what did you dream of then, and how far have you come now?

asking myself these questions always helps me when I'm in this spot, doubting everything, feeling hopeless.

remember, life is precious, and we are here to create, but also to feel. joy, envy, grief, love... all of it goes hand-in-hand with creation, and that creation is how we make sense of this life. there's a deeper meaning to all of this, and losing sight of that and trying to rush ourselves into a successful career without making space for play, joy, and love will often lead to pain.

I wish you luck with your journey - and I hope things get easier for you in the future. 💛

#auropost #we have to find ways to give back and live in the society we're stuck with #but we also have to go back to the root of childlike joy when creating art #because it's there in all of us and can be felt even when creating for money #i think this attitude has even IMPROVED my freelance career #if you return to a simple way of creating what you love people will see and respond to that #and you can build something from there that lasts #it takes a long time #you have to rewire your brain and tackle the depression and hopelessness thoughts #but underneath all of it is love and creation. we all have this... we just lose it due to the traumas of growing up #i know this is about so much more than just art but it's all connected and can't be separated from our inner selves #we are all complex systems interacting with this thing called life #and that's worth getting a little Deep about