#honestly? i'd probably react in the same way

[k-slla]

Fate, Or Something Like It

Little bit of a crossover between The Boys & Suits

A/N: So this is the last square filled on my first card for @jacklesversebingo ! Honestly didn't think I'd get to this, but look at that! 😄

Square filled: "You made me get out of my pajamas for this?"

Also using the chance to post it as my first entry to @artyandink's JENSEN-A-THON.:) (I was said there is no max word count😅)

Based on THIS request that an anon sent me and it will be a 2 part story :)

Word count: ~12.9k | My Masterlist

Both parts will have separate warning, in this one you will find: Slightly OOC Ben, naive reader, physical assault, choking, language, angst, mentions and descriptions of torture, use of drugs and alcohol, mentions of past traumas, partial frontal nudity, size kink(if you squint), brief Fem masturbation -I hope I didn't miss any:)

Special thanks to @nescaveckwriter - for your help and inspiration torture through all those gifs you hyped me up with! 😈Love you, Nes!

ENJOY!

If anyone would’ve asked you right now ‘Are you happy?’ you could've easily answered them with a simple ‘yes’. Saying you were a workaholic, would've been definitely an understatement, but it was a good thing that anything else in your personal life didn't require that much attention, so you happily took on as much work as possible. At least it kept you busy. 

You were working at Pearson Hardman, one of the top law firms in New York. With a professional long-time dream of becoming a senior partner in the firm, you were glad to see that your efforts were slowly paying off. Only one obstacle stood in your way - Harvey Specter. Harvey was a good attorney, you had to admit that. Probably one of the best New York has ever seen, but you hoped to have a chance to prove that you were better. 

You didn't hide your ambition of becoming a partner from anyone and Jessica saw how hard you worked to deserve that spot amongst them. The other partners saw that. And you knew that even Harvey saw how much you were ready to sacrifice for the job. You practically lived in your office. And if that was what it took to reach your goal then sleeping in your bed and having a personal life were small things to give up on. But Harvey shared that mentality, and you were well aware of that. 

Both of you had been competing with each other ever since you met in Harvard, so it wasn't exactly a surprise that this position was basically up between you two, too. But a friendly competition hurt no one, if anything, it gave you the drive to work even harder than before. And you loved it. So yes, you could've said you were happy with your life, because then you just didn’t know yet what, or rather who was missing from it. Until you ran into the man, who'd then turn your life upside down just in a week. 

There he was waiting in front of your work place one evening. You had to admit, he was hard to miss in his green super soldier outfit, but you walked right past him, which just seemed to offend him, judging by the sudden shift of his attitude. Of course you knew who he was, how the women threw themselves at him. All the ladies’ favorite Soldier Boy. You could’ve bet he expected the same kind of reaction from you he had already gotten used to. 

But you didn't fall for his look. You didn't have strength to react to him in any way, so you continued on your way, trying to get home to sleep. Out of nowhere someone yanked you backwards towards the alleyway. A quick ‘hey’ was all you managed to say, before you saw that it was in fact Soldier Boy who had attacked you. 

There was no one around at the moment so just screaming for help wouldn't have worked. Not that it would've even with people around you. He was huge and could easily take on anyone in a fight, but you still tried to get yourself away from him. “No! Let me go!” you grunted. Having a hard time keeping up with his long strides, you were around the building already as he dragged you after him into the alley, pushing you then roughly against the wall. “What do you want from me?” you gritted through the teeth as he held you against the wall, trying your hardest to get yourself free from him.

“Nothing much, doll. Just a little…payback.” He whispered, coming in closer to your face, his low voice vibrating in your ear. With a grin, his hand slowly rose from your chest up to your neck, cutting off the air from you. You fought hard trying to pry his hand away from your neck, but he only tightened his grip. 

“I…haven't…done anything…to you.” You said with a strained voice. You could already feel his hurt, anger and hate, it was just radiating from him. You tried to get through to him, to try to ease him from all that, help him, but all you got was what he's been through for those close to 40 years that he was considered dead. Seeing what he went through, you knew that's what he probably wished for as well. 

You were also a supe, but one of those unimportant ones, who besides The Seven didn't really exist to the rest of the society. Luckily you weren't shooting lasers from your eyes, so it was easy for you to hide your power from others. You were a healer. Kind of. 

You could feel what the person had been through, by physical contact. That's how it usually was. It came to you as a sense of negative emotion they had, caused by their experienced distress and trauma, and you “healed” them - erased the pain etched to the memory. But sometimes, when those memories were stronger, they ran in your head like movies. Sometimes, they even caused you physical pain. 

“Don't fucking lie to me! You were there! I saw you.” You already started to get light headed, but gathering your last strength, you managed to kick him. No surprise - it had no effect on him, but it still made him lighten his grip around your neck slightly. 

You could feel everything he was put through. The torture. The betrayal. And all the hurt that had remained. It was too much for one person to go through, even for a supe like him. 

The images of his memories in Russia started to flash before your eyes. Pictures of him restrained- being shot at, burned, poisoned, electrocuted. All that pain over and over again. 

You saw all of it through his eyes. You felt everything he was put through. He may be hard to kill, probably impossible even, but he still felt all that pain and torture. It all must've left some mark on his psyche. 

Hot tears started prickling in your eyes. What you weren't sure of was the reason why. Were they just your body's natural response to him choking you or did you feel sorry for him? First option sounded like a reasonable choice, but you knew your heart was leaning towards the other end. Your naivety got you believing that even someone like Soldier Boy didn't deserve that.

“I wasn't there. I heard what they did, but I wasn't there!” You couldn't tell him about your power, what you had just seen, he'd never believe you and would probably kill you right then and there. 

But Ben on the other hand was sure he wasn't imagining things. He might have downed a bottle of pills and a whiskey before coming for you, but his mind was clear. As much as it could've been. He didn't get much influenced by drugs or alcohol before, but after Russia something had changed. He had no idea what they'd exactly done to him, but he started to get occasional blackouts from drugs and those fucking obnoxious Russian tracks that started ringing in his ears every time someone pissed him off. Even now he was a little bit out of it. 

He knew what he saw when the Reds had him held up. He thought so at least. Every day, or night even, when they experimented on him, tried to kill him, or whatever the fuck they were doing, there was a woman. Spitting image of the one in front of him. The one that he was most eager to find. 

She took away his will. His will to fight back. She took away his will to break free from his restraints and to rip the heads off them one by one, leaving as his only option to wait for his love to come to save him, not knowing she was part of the team who had betrayed him. She had left him to rot in the hopelessness of his own mind. 

But focusing on the woman standing in front of him, Ben's mind was getting a little foggy. Fuck...was it even her? She's not using her power. She's scared, polar opposite to the woman he saw in the lab - cold as ice, lifeless. For a moment he thought that his mind had just started to fill the blanks. She’s…different. She's not even trying to control me. Am I just high? 

Ben was getting truly hesitant of trusting himself. He almost wanted to let her go, when he realized it was just some trick on him. It had to be. She is playing with me. Like she did there.

“I saw you! You were there, every goddamn day when they tortured me! Playing your fucking mind games with me.” He wasn't giving up. He had a list. He had almost forty years to think of each one of them who betrayed him, how to make them pay. Of course he started with Countess. She sure was surprised to see him alive. And finally when he had found you, he now had second thoughts. 

“No...I.. wasn't! I...please...” Your words were slowly dying on your lips. If it weren't for the group of teenagers walking by, Ben would've most certainly killed you. He threw a sideways glance at them. As tempting as it might've been, he knew better than to kill with witnesses around. Not to mention kids. He still had some reputation to maintain. Not that he really cared about that. But he knew he'd have another chance with you. He'll make sure of it. Ben let go of you and you fell straight to the ground. Without missing a beat, you grabbed your bag that you had dropped and ran from him, not daring to look back. “The fuck you're staring at?” You heard him shout behind you, aiming it towards the teens who had begun staring at you two.

When you finally got home - much, much later than you had expected - you had no energy left to cook or clean. All you wanted was a relaxing shower and a decent amount of sleep for a change. Mindlessly you sat under the hot stream of water on the bathroom floor and the events of tonight really got to you. 

He was ready to kill you tonight and still you were sympathetic for him. While studying the pattern of the floor tiles for a long time, you got more certain with each passing minute that there must be something wrong with you, because there was just no other reason for you to feel sorry for him. You were so stuck in tonight's events, you didn't even notice the water starting to run colder, until the sudden icy water falling onto your shoulders brought you back. Trying not to slip, you scrambled out of the shower as quickly you could. 

You couldn't sleep that night. Not as much as you had hoped at least. You couldn't stop thinking about his words that were still echoing in your head. 

“You were there, every goddamn day when they tortured me!” 

It was almost four decades ago. You weren't even alive then. He must've been just hallucinating there. There couldn’t be any other explanation. Wouldn't be a surprise exactly, too, if you thought more about it, considering what he went through. 

Finally, very early in the morning, you managed to fall asleep. But in all those barely three hours of sleep that you got, you had one sight in mind. Green eyes. His eyes. Full of hate and anger towards the world around him, and trying to hide the pain eating him up from the inside. You knew it was probably not his plan to let it show, but he just didn't know who you really are. 

For the remaining two work days you had left before the weekend, as hard as it was, you were fortunately able to push the incident with him from your mind and focus fully on work. 

And on Friday night, another asshole, a lot friendlier than Soldier Boy, but still a kind of jerk, flew in to ruin your night, again, in the form of Billy Butcher.

“Hey there, sweetheart.” 

Your friendship with Billy was, to put it mildly...odd. He only called you to ask “favors” regarding your power, every now and then, and while you had no reason to give in to him, you just couldn't bring yourself to say no. But considering how the last few times have gone, this time he called to probably claim your soul. 

“What do you want?” Just a call from him had already put a dent into your peaceful evening, so you were in no mood for him beating around the bush. 

“What? No hello?” He laughed, but not getting a reaction from you, he continued. “Straight to the business then. Can a..uh.. let's just call him a friend of mine..can he stay with you for a week?” There was silence on the line for a second. “Or possibly two?” Billy added under his breath.

“What! No!” You couldn’t get your rejection at his plan out any faster. “Not after last time!” 

“Hey! Don't blame me for that. I didn't know they would…nevermind..” he muttered. “I just really need someone to keep an eye on Ben. He's.. He's been through some stuff and has a bit of a “shell shock” as one might say.” 

You heard a little shuffling on the other side and a faint grumpy voice. “I don't have shell shock. Fuck you!” 

“I'm not letting anyone in my apartment again.” You stood your ground. 

“Sweetheart, I'm begging you! Really am! Just this one time.” You sensed from his voice he was getting a bit desperate. 

“Is she bitching?” You heard that same low voice as before. 

“You can tell your friend that I heard that and I do not appreciate it! My answer is no!"

“Ben, shut it. Please, I need someone I trust to look after him. He needs help and I know you, you really are the only one who can help him.” Billy said quietly into the phone. 

“No. I have work and I don't want anyone in my home when I'm not there.” 

“Fair! How about this then...”    

You had no idea how he managed to convince you to move into their headquarters or apartment or whatever they chose to call it. Not a fucking clue. But here you were with your suitcase, ready to move in for an indefinite time. All this had only one upside for you - shorter commute to work. 

Standing outside, you called through the intercom, and waited for Butcher to answer. Probably knowing it was you downstairs, he opened the door immediately. You really felt luck being against you lately, so it came to you as no surprise that the elevator, too, was out of order. With a heavy sigh, you braced yourself for the stupid amount of stairs ahead. 

When you made it to their door, you were absolutely out of breath. Why couldn't I have flying as my power? That would have come handy right now. No, no, no...I am a healer. Unfair. 

You knocked on the door, still trying to calm your breathing. After a moment, Butcher finally opened it. “Hello, luv! You made it!” You wanted to beat this shit-eating grin off his face. Too bad he was stronger than you. “We were about to start betting on how long it would take for you to get up here.” 

“That piece of shit elevator is out of order again.” You grunted, pulling your suitcase into the room after you. 

Setting it down in the living room, you looked around in the apartment. You saw only Butcher and Hughie around. “So? Where's that friend of yours?” The grin on Billy's face grew wider. 

“I swear to God, if that was just some joke that you two tried to play on me..” you were still out of breath, but tried to sound threatening, although, there wasn’t much you could do to him. Maybe to Hughie, yes, if he was in on the joke, but not to Butcher. 

“No, not a joke. He's real and I bet you'll get along nicely.” It seemed as if Ben had heard you, and sauntered cockily out of his room. “So, where's the new roomie...?” His smug grin only widened when he saw your dumbfounded face. You defensively took a step back. “No, Billy, hell no!” 

Butcher stepped protectively in front of you. “Relax, he's not gonna bite.” 

“Not gonna bite?! He tried to kill me less than three days ago.” You hissed as an answer, glaring at Ben, as you learnt was his name, over Billy's shoulder. 

“And now he'll promise to behave, right, Ben?” Ben rolled his eyes at you and walked into the kitchen. “Whatever.” 

You stared after him. “Why can't someone else babysit him?” 

“We have some work coming up. Listen. I know what happened between you two. He told me and right after I explained to him that there was no possible way for you to have been in Russia all this time ago. But, Y/N, you're the only one who can help me. Please.” It was really out of his character to see him beg for something. 

You stood in silence for a minute. You spineless piece of… You cursed yourself in your head. “Where’s my room?"

Waking up next morning you were glad that it was Saturday. You had the whole weekend to assess this…situation. You were the first one up and started making breakfast for everyone. Butcher was still snoring on the couch in the living room, as Hughie probably claimed the last free room to himself. You have always been more of a ‘forgive and forget’ type of person. Always seeing the best in people. Even if it took time to let go, you never were one to hold a grudge. It would have been totally understandable for you to walk out this time, too, but all you wanted was just to try to let go of what had happened with Ben a few days ago, so you tried to be nice.

You knew you two wouldn't be friends, not like with Hughie or Butcher, not that you were very close to them either, but you hoped that you could at least be civil around each other for the few weeks now that you had agreed to live with him.

In the middle of frying up some bacon, you heard a bedroom door opening, so it was either Hughie or Ben. A second later, from the corner of your eye, you saw a figure appear on the kitchen door. 

“That's what I like to see - a woman in the kitchen, right where she belongs.” Definitely not Hughie. You were about to shoot back some snarky comment, when you finally took a look at him. “Shit...” You mumbled quietly. 

Leaning on the doorway, Ben was wearing only some green floral silk robe that hung open on his shoulders. Nothing underneath it. The unexpectedness of seeing his cock the first thing in the morning hit you hard. Your mind went blank and against your will, you had to admit that you were quite literally hypnotized by him. 

“Like what you see, sweetheart?” A low chuckle rang in the distance, bringing you out of your short daydream. You blinked at him and blushed hard, realizing you had been just standing there, staring at him. Talk about morning wood. After letting out a long exhale, your focus was now fully back on bacon. “P-please put on s-some clothes?” 

He slowly walked towards you, not closing the robe. Heat started to climb up your cheeks when he stopped next to you. “You do like the view.” Ben said smugly and snatched a piece of bacon from the plate. Not even a question this time. He knew the effect he had on you. You couldn't even deny it to yourself. 

“Stop harassing the poor woman and put on some clothes.” Billy grumbled from the couch. 

“You're no fun.” Ben said to Billy before stepping in even closer to you, seizing the last of the personal space you had left and whispering. “But soon we'll be all alone and I'll tell you, sweetheart, you'll fuckin’ beg for it.” He winked and you just stared at him, mouth slightly agape. 

“Bacon's a bit burned, by the way.” Ben grinned and finally covered himself before turning around and leaving the kitchen. 

Rest of the day went luckily quietly, with you staying mostly hidden in your own room. Kimiko, Frenchie and MM came around noon, to talk through the last minute changes on the plan for their new job. 

“So, please don't kill each other. Or I mean, Ben, don’t kill her.” Hughie smiled at you and Ben, before walking out of the door, making you roll your eyes at his back. 

“And don't tear the place down, if you decide to...you know…get acquainted better. Which you probably will.” Billy said with a smirk. “If you do, you fix it up. Got it?” He continued sternly. 

“Got it.” Quick slap from Ben landed on your ass, making a shrill yelp escape from you. 

“Hey! We're not - I - he won't..!” Your brain short-circuited again, for the second time today, because of Ben. Butcher winked knowingly and then turned around to leave. “See ya!” With a wave, he was out the door.

You were now left alone with Ben, who scoffed beside you. “What's your problem?” 

“Don't even get me started.” You mumbled quietly and walked past him into the kitchen.

“I heard that!” He called after you. 

“Good!” You looked back at the doorway, and saw Ben stomping towards you. You rolled your eyes and started to make some coffee. 

“No, seriously. What's your problem?” He crossed his arms. 

You pinched the bridge of your nose. “Do you really want to know?” 

“That's why I asked.” 

You fully turned towards him and leaned on the kitchen island with one hip. “My problem is that three days ago you tried to kill me, without any explanation, you haven't even apologized and now you're acting like nothing's happened, and I'm stuck here with you because of my inability to say no. So there you go.”

“Actually, I had an explanation.” He said absentmindedly, before stepping in front of you, squinting his eyes and pointing his finger at you. “And, no, that's not your problem, but I know what it really is.” He said slowly.

You waved your arms in front of you, his cockiness started to slowly infuriate you. “Please, enlighten me.”

Ben bit his bottom lip and raised his eyebrows with a little nod. “You haven't been properly fucked for a while.” He said boldly, making you fume on the inside. “Yeah. That's it. I can see all that...frustration in you, sweetheart.” He was now grinning ear to ear, flashing his bright smile. “More than happy to help you out.” He added with a simple shrug. “You're a tad bit young for me, but I can look past it. I tend to go to women with a bit more experience.” He left you completely speechless and the grin on his face grew wider with each second you sputtered in front of him, blinking rapidly as you tried to figure out something to say.

“Ew, just stop it, okay!” You blurted out finally. “Can we just try to be normal around each other for one day, without you making some lewd suggestions about my personal life?”

Ben's eyes twinkled mischievously. “Okay.” He shrugged and then raised his finger. “I'll give you one day.” And with that he walked out of the kitchen and left you there standing, cursing the choice of words you had made.

“Fuck me..” You muttered, realizing that now Ben will probably start riling you up even more.

“What was that?” He appeared again on the kitchen door with a wicked smile on his lips, clearly hoping he had heard you correctly. You had to admit - Ben was hellishly handsome, too handsome for his own good and of course he knew that. You couldn't hold back the chuckle that escaped from your lips, seeing that little playful glint in his eyes.

“Nothing!” You called out quickly, face turning red.

Note to self - be careful when speaking to yourself. Man has super hearing.

You had to be grateful that at least Ben did keep his promise and kept to his own on Sunday.

A blood-curdling scream woke you in the middle of the night. You were certain that you had just dreamed it, because when you sat up in bed, it was all silent around you. Until you heard him again.

So this is what Butcher meant by helping him.

It now kind of made sense also, why he called you in the first place. Obviously it wasn't just to keep Ben company. You dragged yourself out of the bed and made your way to his room next to yours.

You could hear the strained screams even through the door. Not bothering with knocking, you pushed it open and entered his bedroom.

Ben was cramped up in his bed, like in a shock. His teeth were bared, grunting almost animalistically, and his breathing was rapid.

You could instantly feel your own breath getting caught in your throat and tears starting to well up in your eyes. “Ben.” You said quietly and sat down next to him on the bed.

Whatever he was experiencing right now must've been some of the most horrible things you could ever imagine.

You put one hand on his chest, trying to gently wake him up. Instead you got more nauseous every second, feeling like a knife was twisted in your guts and every inch of your skin was on fire. You were unable to control the tears streaming down your cheeks. The flashbacks you started to get were horrible. You felt every stab, cut and burn he had gotten. They made you physically want to vomit. Never before have you reacted this strongly to someone. But never before have you met someone who has experienced so much pain like Ben. You tried your hardest to keep the disturbing images from creeping up in your mind.

“Ben, wake up!” You softly stroked his head, grimacing along with him, seeing his beautiful features distorted from pain. You couldn't take it anymore. Placing both of your hands on his face, you turned him towards you. To be able to help him, you had to calm down yourself first. With what Ben went through, this was surely going to be a challenge. You closed your eyes and focused on your breathing and the feeling of his face in your arms. He still hadn't woken up, so you had to get him to calm down in his sleep.

It took a long time. It took so much more from you than it usually did. You could feel your energy drain. Ben was still cramped up, strained groans leaving his lips, but slowly you were able to ease your breathing. Tears were still flowing down your cheeks but your mind was getting clearer with each exhale, until there was nothing left. No pain. No flashbacks. You felt Ben quieting down next to you, his body slowly starting to relax. Your eyes were still closed, when you heard him waking up. You had hoped to be gone already when he would wake, but now it was too late.

“Y/N? What- where am I?” He was drowsy and confused about his surroundings. Seeing him awake, you immediately pulled your hands from his face to dry your eyes, so he wouldn't see you crying.

“It's okay, Ben. You're fine.” He rubbed his hand over his face, visibly more confused now. He turned to look at you, brows knit tightly together. “Wait, what are you doing here? What did you do to me?”

You turned away from him on the edge of the bed. “I didn't do anything. I just heard you scream and came to check on you.”

You knew he didn't believe you. You didn’t even believe yourself what you were saying.

“Don't lie to me. Who are you?” Ben sat up in bed.

“I am not lying, Ben. I didn't do anything.”

You saw that he was quickly getting annoyed, angry even. “I don't wake up from these dreams just like that. I have to…suffer through them.” Ben gritted, glaring at you. “And you are here, crying. Who are you?” He repeated himself and quickly got out of bed, pulling you up with him. “Tell me!”

“Alright, fine! Just so I can go to bed.” You yelled back. You looked down at his hand grabbing your shoulder painfully. “Let go of me, then I'll talk. Thank you.” You added in a slightly softer manner when he let go of your arm, but hesitantly waited for a second before you started talking. “I…am a supe, too, although my powers aren't as good as “The Seven” or whatever, but I am a kind of healer.” You started cautiously, being afraid of his reaction. “Like almost an empathic healer?” You added and took a glance at him. You could see he was not following you at that moment. “It means I can feel and heal people's emotional traumas. Well, I don't “heal” heal, but you know, make them less painful over time.” You were pacing around the room, not knowing what was going through his head. “That's why Butcher even called me in the first place. To come and help you.”

“Why didn't you just tell me that?” He asked, voice quieter than before.

“I don't know.” You shrugged.

Ben sat down on the bed again and you thought he wanted to go back to sleep, so you started to leave the room.

“Wait.” You heard him suddenly ask behind you. He stared after you with a questioning look in his eyes. “Why were you crying?”

You got slightly embarrassed, hoping he hadn't noticed that. “Um...Well, when I say I feel the pain, I actually tend to feel it. It comes to me almost like memories or sometimes flashbacks through the eyes of the person going through it, but..uh..I feel it all that too. Tonight was actually the first time I've cried. It was just too much today.” You stood on the door and kept your eyes down on the floor.

Feeling like you had overshared, you quickly muttered “good night” under your breath, and almost ran out of the room. You heard Ben call something after you, but you didn't stay to hear what he had to say. He didn't follow.

Now it was Monday morning and you were again making breakfast before you had to go to work. After leaving Ben's room last night, you couldn't fall asleep, so you tried to think of a few simple rules to have set up for the time you two were living together. But with Ben being as he is, you were certain he'd not welcome them warmly. So first you needed to bribe him. Just a little.

You had set everything on the table, coffee, bacon and eggs and whatever else you thought he'd like for breakfast. You sucked in a quick breath before you went to wake him up. You knocked on the door and opened it. “Hey, Ben! Wake up!’

He only lifted his head to look at the clock on the bedside table. “No.”

“Yes. We have to talk before I go to work.” You picked up some sweatpants and a t-shirt from the chair by the door and threw them on his bed. “And put some clothes on.”

When he saw that you were not leaving, Ben finally sat up in bed. It took all of your willpower not to let your eyes wander over his body, barely covered by the familiar green silk robe. “Damn it, woman. It's 7 in the morning.” He opened the drawer next to the bed and pulled out a ready rolled joint. You made no effort to hide the disgust on your face as he lit it and took a long drag on it. “Seriously?” You looked between him and the reefer between his fingers.

“What?” He shrugged, clearly it has become a part of his routine.

“It's 7am. That's really the first thing that goes into your mouth in the morning after waking up?”

Ben pulled the blunt from his lips with a smirk and took a long look at you up and down. “I mean, if I'd have you in the bed with me, this definitely wouldn't be the first thing in my mouth.”

You crossed your arms on your chest, hoping to hide the jolt of unexpected arousal that ran through your core.

“Stop that. I made breakfast.” You said sternly as you walked out of his room. “And put the clothes on!” You added over your shoulder.

You sat at the kitchen table with a notebook, writing down some basic rules you'd both have to follow. You hoped that Ben could be reasonable about these few things. It was nothing major. Just to make sure you both agreed on cleaning after yourselves and some compromises over cooking.

After a little while Ben finally joined you in the kitchen. You were focused on reading a news article on your phone, when you heard him opening and closing the cupboards looking for a cup for himself. You looked up at him, and you almost choked on air, but managed to disguise it as a simple cough. Of course Ben wasn't fully dressed. It was clearly too much to ask of him.

His bare back was turned towards you, muscles flexing as he reached for a cup. You didn't want to, but couldn't hold back on checking out the rest of his body, too. More importantly, you were quietly admiring the way his sweatpants hugged his butt. Usually you were not one to thirst over men, but something about Ben felt different. You almost had completely forgotten his attack on you, which you knew was wrong, but given what you saw that night then and now again last night, you knew that there was more to him than he let on. He had been through a lot and it wasn't his fault. You wanted to believe that not all of it at least.

You gave Ben a few minutes to wake up properly in silence. You decided that you weren't going to talk about last night if he wouldn't bring it up himself.

“So, I wanted to talk about house chores with you.”

He looked at you with a completely dead face. “You made me get out of my pajamas for this? Are you having a stroke?”

It was not easy for you to hold back laughter. “First of all - no, I'm not having a stroke.” You took too big of a bite out of your breakfast sandwich. “Secondly - you really call that silky green pornstar robe a pajama? Are you a five year old?” You started choking on your food, trying to keep a straight face asking this from him.

“I don't know. Sounds to me like you're just jealous. I can lend it to you, you know? It's very comfortable.” A genuine smile, the first one you’ve seen from him, lit up his whole face. He took his plate and got up from the table. God, he’s gorgeous. You gave yourself a mental slap and stopped that thought right there. NO, Y/N. You can’t think like that. He literally tried to kill you. It started to feel dangerous already being around him, and it was only the start of the third day. You cleared your throat before speaking.

“No, seriously though. We have to set up some basic stuff to keep the place tidy for both of us. It's not the 50s anymore. Women have jobs now, you know. I have a job, too and I will not take everything onto my shoulders.”

“Mm, yeah, not gonna happen.” Ben took his food and disappeared into his room.

“Oh, come on! Ben!” You called after him, but the only answer you received was the loud thud from the door shutting behind him. This went as well as I had expected. You sighed defeatedly and started to clean up the kitchen before heading to work.

Meeting after meeting, one deposition on top of the other, your day passed excruciatingly slow. And it was just Monday, which was already the downside to begin with.

On your way out of the office building, you pulled out your phone. On your lock screen glowed notifications of unanswered calls and a message from Ben, asking you to pick up some whiskey and drugs.

You rolled your eyes, already regretting giving him your phone number. Hughie had taught Ben how to use a smartphone. You can only imagine how that must've looked to a bystander. For a scrawny little dude, Hughie must have iron nerves to have kept up with Ben.

Before you could text him back, a call from Jessica came in and a sense of dread washed over you.

“Hi, Jessica. What can I do for you?”

“Hello, Y/N, I know you left the office for the day already, but please come see me first thing in the morning. We need to talk.”

We need to talk. That definitely didn’t ease your mind. You breathed deeply for a moment before answering to her. “Alright, I'll see you tomorrow.”

You knew what this was going to be about. They’ve decided on who to offer the Senior partner position. And judging by Jessica’s voice, it probably wasn’t going to be you. Scratch that. It definitely wasn’t going to be you.

You did a quick trip to the grocery store, picking up coffee and some things for dinner tonight. And you didn't forget Ben, and got him whiskey, although drugs were where you would draw the line. You will not be one to supply him with drugs.

Walking home from the corner store, you had some time to think. You wanted that position. You wanted to give your contribution to developing Pearson Hardman to its best. You wished to have the same kind of impact on junior associates, like Jessica had on you when you first started in the firm. You’ve given a lot to work yourself up. It didn’t feel selfish to you to think that you deserved that. But even if you wouldn’t get it, you knew it wouldn’t be the end of the world.

Becoming a partner would be one of your biggest goals in professional life, but at the end of the day, you were still working to help people. And that's what matters. That’s what you tried to focus on at least.

You tried to push all the work thoughts out of your mind so you could relax just for a few hours that's left of the evening before you'd pass out on the couch. You threw together a quick dinner for both you and Ben and went straight to bed afterwards, hoping that you’d get more sleep this time.

But again, you woke up in the middle of the night, hearing his screams from the other room. It was only the second night and already you could feel it drain you more than the last night.

You stood at the door for a minute, just staring at him. How you were supposed to last two weeks or longer doing this almost every night, you had no idea, but now you knew that you couldn’t just leave him either. If it was in your power to help him, you had to at least try. No matter what he’d done. No matter what he would do. Knowing what he had gone through, it had already become impossible for you to just walk away from him. So you didn't.

For over an hour you were by his bed tonight, barely holding yourself together as you got him through the nightmare.

“I don't need your help. I'm fine,” Ben snapped at you as he woke up and rested his head against the headboard with a sigh.

“Yeah, looks like it.” You stared at him for a minute, but seeing he wouldn't even look at you, you scoffed and got up from the bed.

“Fine.” You left his room in a hurry and closed the door behind you with a loud thud.

You pulled the blanket over your head, trying to fall back asleep. After laying in bed for almost an hour, you finally managed to get some sleep, but only a short time later, your alarm pulled you out from deep sleep and you had to back down from the urge to throw your phone across the room. Exhaustedly you sat up in bed and let your legs hang over the edge.

You had all your hope put into a morning shower and a strong coffee to make you somewhat functional, but today they chose to let you down. You were still tired and distraught from Ben's dreams from the night.

You know that these dreams are tormenting him almost daily, but if he says he doesn't want help, should you even keep doing that? Should you still put yourself through all that pain? It hasn't been this bad while helping others, but with Ben, everything felt tenfold stronger. You could feel yourself being so close to breaking already.

Jessica was already in the office when you arrived, despite it being a few hours before the official start of the work day. She really is the perfect example of a self-made woman and you were definitely lucky to have her as a mentor.

You knocked on the open door of her office. “Hi, Jessica, you wanted to see me?”

“Y/N, good morning. Yes, come on in.” Jessica greeted you with a smile as you stepped in. “Close the door and take a seat, please.”

You sat down across from her. She already had the look. The same look she always gets when she has to give bad news. You knew what was coming, but still you held onto the small glimmer of hope that the outcome would be in your favor.

“I asked you to come here to tell you that the board had a meeting yesterday. All the partners voted on who will be offered the open Senior partner position.”

You took a deep breath and nervously started to play with your rings under the table out of Jessica's sight.

“I want you to know that we were thinking in favor of the firm and the decision was purely made on professional aspects. That's why we're going to move forward with Harvey. I hope you understand.”

“Right, of course. I do understand. He's..” you swallowed the lump in your throat before continuing. “Harvey is a hard worker. He's the right choice.” You smiled at her, trying to hide the disappointment in your voice.

For the rest of the day you buried yourself into work to use it as a distraction. Because that's what usually keeps you from spiraling down. Today you hoped it would keep your mind away from Ben, too.

For the whole day you had managed to keep yourself from thinking about him. You were busy. You just didn’t have time to thirst over him from that one moment you saw him without a shirt.

Or that morning in the kitchen…almost naked. But now in your quiet office? It was hard not to think of him. You swallowed hard before forcing your focus back to the papers in front of you. You were berating yourself for even giving him space in your head. You knew the guy for three days and he had tried to kill you. Literally.

But something about him still pulled you towards him. And it was much more than just sexual attraction. You weren’t going to lie to yourself - he was hot. Goddamn, he was hot and you wanted him all over you. And if keeping your dignity wouldn’t have mattered to you, you probably would’ve jumped his bed yesterday morning. But something else captivated you about him and you couldn't put a finger on it.

It was well past 9pm when you heard a startling knock on your office door. You raised your head quickly and saw Harvey at the door.

“Hey, you're still here this late?” He asked curiously, leaning on the doorframe. Letting out a deep sigh you started to gather together all the papers scattered around on the table.

“Just finished. It's not that late, is it? Time just flies when you're having fun. You of all people should know it.” Tired smile on your face betrayed how you were feeling on the inside. You cleared your throat. “I saw Jessica this morning. I guess congratulations are in order.” You stood up from the desk and reached out your hand to him.

The air in the room was dense from the tension between you and Harvey. “You don't have to do that.” He gave you a little, sad smile.

“Do what?” You lowered your hand back down after seeing him not reach out to it.

“You don't have to pretend that you're happy for me, Y/N. I know you wanted that spot, too.”

For a moment the room fell silent, the only sound in the office was quiet shuffling as you packed up your bag to leave. “I'm not.” You zipped up your bag and threw it over your shoulder. “I'm not pretending, I mean. I am happy for you.” You quickly followed up before he'd get the wrong idea. “They did what they think is best for the company, and you deserve it, so of course I’m happy for you.” You smiled genuinely as you walked past Harvey into the hallway.

“Thanks.” He still sounded hesitant, but from you there were no hidden meanings behind your words. You really were happy for him. He is a good friend of yours and has been for a long time. That didn’t mean that you weren’t just a little jealous of him.

Cool night air hit you as soon as you stepped out of the building. You were tired, but you didn’t want to go home yet.

You started to walk, completely unsure of where you’d end up. Mindlessly you wandered around on the streets, witnessing the start of the night life in front of your eyes, despite it being Tuesday.

One underground bar caught your attention, and you decidedly walked towards it to check it out. You weren't planning to stay longer than for a drink. Working with a hangover was hell on earth, so one time was enough for you. You had definitely learned from your mistakes and were not excited to repeat them.

From the looks of the groups of people lingering outside of the bar, you expected it to be crowded to the roof, but you were pleasantly surprised that there were not that many people in there, and you even had the option to choose seating for yourself. It’s still early, you thought as you picked out a table in the far back corner.

You sat down right beside the wall, facing away from the rest of the room, leaving an empty seat between the table and wall.

You sat there for a minute, massaging your temples to get rid of the headache that slowly started to build. You hadn't slept well for the past few nights and it started to get to you.

After getting your drink, you sat back down and raised the glass to your lips, when you heard a voice behind you, the same one you were trying to run away from right now.

“Didn't think I'd find you in a hole like this.”

Fuck. Now I'm imagining things, too. You downed the drink in one go. You had planned on sipping on it slowly, savoring it. You winced as the whiskey burned your throat going down. There were heavy footsteps approaching and then he sat down across from you.

“What are you doing here?” You sighed tiredly.

Ben flagged down the bartender. “What does it look like, sweetheart? I'm getting a drink."

“Why here? Were you following me?” You asked him straight up.

Ben scoffed. “Hah, don't flatter yourself. I like this bar.”

“Really?” You didn't hide the disbelief from your voice. You had a feeling that he wasn't telling quite the truth. “What's the name of it?”

You saw from his expression that he was racking his brains to come up with some name. “Little…Sal’s?” A grin broke out on his face. “What?”

You grimaced at his stupid answer. “No, Ben, it's not...that. Why were you following me?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “I don't even know. I tried to call, but you didn't answer.”

“Well, that should've been your first clue that I didn't want to talk.”

“And you didn't come home either.”

“Should’ve taken that as a second clue. Don't tell me you actually started to worry about me?” You winked at him teasingly.

“Well, it's not safe for a woman like you to be out alone at this hour.”

“A woman like me?”

“Yeah. In my experience, beautiful women like you tend to meet troublesome men, who then try to take advantage of them.” He smiled at you amusingly.

“Oh, is that so? And you thought, what, that you'd come and save a damsel in distress?” You got up to leave. “I can take care of myself.”

“Y/N, please. Stay for a drink.”

“Already had a drink.” You answered him curtly.

“Well, humor me. I can see there's something bothering you.” He ordered new drinks, one for you, too and it would've been impolite to not accept it. That's how you tried to convince yourself, even though you were pretty sure he would've just drank it himself, if you would've declined.

He pushed a glass towards you as you sat back down. “As an apology.” You laughed wryly at his gesture. “I would actually like a real apology as an apology.” You then squared your shoulders and looked directly at him.

You could see him tense up, as if saying three little words would somehow now break him. You didn't want to let him see how intimidating he actually was to you. You had already seen what he had been through, but at the same time you were well aware of the atrocities he was accused of and what he was actually capable of doing. In every sense possible, Ben was a dangerous man. And now you were calling him out to apologize to you, knowing very well that if anything sets him off the wrong way, he could blow up the bar and half of the block with it. Your heart was almost jumping out of your throat when the two of you kept staring at each other in silence.

You saw his jaw slack. “Fine.” He gritted through his teeth. “I'm sorry."

After practically pulling these words out of him, you decided you were not going to accept them this easily. “For what exactly?” Your head was turned to the side as you squinted at him quizzically.

“Oh, come on! Really? I said I was sorry!” He fell back in his chair.

“Yes, really! I'm not going to accept some half-assed apology after I had to drag it out from you!”

Ben leaned in on the chair and took one of your hands into his. He probably heard how hard your heart was beating at his move, given that little smirk on his lips which disappeared quickly.

You wanted to believe. For the sake of your own heart, you wanted to believe that Ben was actually a good man, because you started to get scared of where you were heading with your scaringly, stupidly fast developing feelings. You hadn't even had a proper conversation before other than the one you just had.

“I really am sorry for assaulting you. I... I was completely out of my head and…I think high, too” He seemed to be genuinely sorry. “...and unfortunately you got caught in the way.” He squeezed your hand assuringly.

You bit your cheek and you were torn. Your mind was screaming ‘run and don't look back’, but in your heart there was a gaping loneliness. And that loneliness spoke louder. ‘Just give in. Give in to what you want and tell it to him. You just might have a chance of happiness.’

“You know, I can not tell you to trust me. Not after what I did. I can't make you believe that I've changed. That has to be your own judgment call. And I know I haven't really given you much to look for the positive in me and for that, I am sorry, too.”

You didn't know what to answer him. It was like he was reading your mind. He let go of your hand and raised both glasses. You took one from him, silently accepting the apology. You both finished your drinks in silence, before Ben started to talk again.

“So...Who pissed in your Cheerios?” He leaned forward on the table.

“What do you mean? Other than wanting you to apologize to me, I'm fine.” You tried to brush it off.

“Well, don't get me wrong, doll, but you don't exactly look the type to go to bars on Tuesday evenings. Alone. Yet here you are.”

You downed the last sip and raised a finger to stop Ben from ordering more. You winced a bit, still not getting quite used to the burn. “None for me, thanks.”

“Well, suit yourself.” And he ordered himself a new one. You were debating in your head on how much you really wanted to let him in.

“Will you tell me? Or will we just consider this night to be over?” He asked again.

“It’s just some work stuff.” You said then quietly.

“What about it?” He seemed to really want to know. You didn't understand him at all anymore. On Saturday he didn't even apologize to you for his attack and then made some vile comments that totally had started to mess with your head, and now he is showing interest in your work.

“Why do you care? Why are you so nice to me all of sudden?” You snapped, maybe a little too harshly even, but it was hard for you to keep it in. Ben raised his hands up. “Relax, okay? It's not that I've started to ‘care’. I just..” he scratched his beard, trying to find the words.

“You just what, Ben? You are honestly giving me fucking whiplash with how you have acted after…after that night.” You finished with a shaky voice and crossed your arms on your chest, but you weren't quiet for long. “Not to mention all that crap in the kitchen. And now you are here, let me rephrase it- you followed me here,” you corrected yourself. “And you are asking now ‘who pissed in your Cheerios?’” you made your voice low, comically imitating his. “Well, I guess you did, Ben. So why are you really here?”

“I..” he took a deep breath in. “I'm just trying to be nicer, okay? You don't...” he rubbed his palm over his eyes and beard, as you continued staring at him frowningly. “You have no idea what these last two nights have done to me.” Ben said quietly, voice heavy with what was for him a new, unfamiliar feeling of genuine gratitude. “After you've left, I've been able to fall back asleep, without those nightmares and…it's clear to me that you have not.”

You weren't going to lie to him that it was nothing. Because it was not. You had never expected to be so affected by him. By his pain. And you really were tired. You stared at your hands on the table noticing how you’ve unknowingly started to pick on your nail polish, seeing it chipped on the edges. Maybe you chose wrong, but it was either him or you. “That's why I came in the first place. To help you, Ben. That's what I do.”

“But that's the thing. You help me, but that shouldn't come from your account. And don't get me wrong, I've been needing good sleep for quite some time, because after that..” he left a little pause. “...chamber, all that there's been for me, are just those nightmares, but you don't deserve to go through that for me.”

“How else would I be able to help you then? You didn’t deserve it either.”

“What do you know of what I deserve?” An insincere smile creeped on his lips. “And why should you even help me? You don't know what I've done. Or what I'm capable of doing.” Ben hinted, leaning towards you over the table. You weren't sure if it was one of his scare tactics, but you refused to back down.

"Because of what you just said to me! You told me you've changed. And I've seen what they did to you. I'm not believing for a second that it was all justified.” You reached over the table for his hand. You knew how naive you must’ve sounded. “Deep down you know yourself that you're not a bad person. If you were, if you didn't just care about anyone, you wouldn't have come looking for me. And I should help you, just because I can.” You weren't really sure whether you tried to convince him or yourself.

He pulled away his hand and quickly stood up. “Don't give me that crap!” Suddenly agitated again, he stomped out of the bar. With a heavy sigh you pulled out a few bills for the tab and followed him out.

You didn't see him outside the bar and had no idea if he went home or not, but that's where you were headed.

It was only just a little after midnight when you got home, but Ben was nowhere to be seen. At least I'll be able to sleep peacefully tonight. You thought spitefully and regretted it immediately.

Karma's a bitch indeed. You thought while laying sleepless in your bed, contemplating everything that had happened in the past week.

First of all - the night you first met Soldier Boy. That’s who he was then, before you got to know him. Before he became “Ben” to you. You’ve just seen some glimpses of his past, that’s all. But now he still has claimed a special spot in your mind, even after what he did.

You really didn’t know him at all before all this happened. Just what you’ve seen being published by Vought to the masses. And you always knew to take their words with a grain of salt.

Secondly, you weren’t sure whether to believe his own words either. He was so sure that he did not deserve your help from his night terrors. And you didn’t even know why, but for some reason that crushed you. Maybe you had just fallen for his charm, without a second thought, but his certainty of being so sure of that had to come from somewhere. Somewhere much deeper and you hoped to have a chance to find it out.

But what came as the biggest realization, was what you finally understood about yourself. You had been alone since childhood, only found your friends when you were in college, and the closest who had stayed even after graduating was Harvey. Only now you were mostly just coworkers to each other.

Being alone had made your skin thick, and you learnt to suppress your emotions well. That was the reason why you were so good at your job- you just couldn’t allow yourself to get too emotionally attached to the cases, because you have had the first hand view of good attorneys making grave mistakes, when they’ve gotten influenced by the cases or clients. And now, after years of shutting down your feelings, you know why helping Ben was so important for you. Even his pain made you feel something, and you were more than glad to find out that your heart hadn’t turned completely into stone yet.

You decided there was no point for you to just lay there in bed, so you thought you'd get up and just go to work early. At least that would make you feel useful. Sitting in the kitchen, drinking your coffee you felt eerily weird knowing that you were alone again. You hadn't heard Ben come home during the night and when you woke up, stopping at his door, you didn’t hear his snoring too.

For the whole day you had a gnawing feeling inside. The conversation you and Ben had felt far from finished when he left the bar last night. You weren't sure if he's going to be home in the evening too. Home. You let out a short chuckle staring at your computer screen. It felt funny to think of it as home. You had been there less than a week. This wasn't your home. Not really. But somehow you already got attached to the place, or rather your roommate and you weren't sure how to feel about it.

Few hours later you felt your eyes growing tired and everything started to get hazy. You had been staring at the computer screen far too long and when you were satisfied with what you got done today so after getting the final case files revised, you counted the work day ended.

Standing in front of the apartment building you were once again cursing its existence. Getting down the stairs was easy, but after work climbing up them was the worst imaginable thing for you. Sure, it was good for your health. Cardio and whatnot. You never have time to go to the gym anyway. You just couldn't wait to get used to them. Until then you had no shame in taking off your heels and taking the stairs in stockings. The feeling you got was indescribable, making you let out a sigh of relief.

You fumbled with your keys to open the door, only to discover that Ben had it chained up from the inside. “Oh, come on, Ben! Open the door!” You called in from the cracked door, before closing it. But he didn't came to the door and it felt like it was straight out of some comedy - you, locked out of the apartment, without shoes like some crazy person and of course, of course, in that moment the neighbors happened to come out of their apartment as you were pounding on the door for Ben to let you in. “Open up! Oh- sorry!” You smiled at them apologetically and stepped out of their way to let them past you.

“Alright, alright, stop with the banging! I'm coming.” You heard his muffled grumpy voice through the door.

“Finally…” you mumbled to yourself.

When Ben opened the door you just glared at him for a second. “Why do you, of all people, need to chain the door from the inside?” You pushed past him into the room.

A barely hearable “oh” was all that left your lips when your eyes stopped on the bottle of lotion and a tissue box on the living room table. Suddenly you felt very grateful for him locking up the door.

“So this is what you do when I'm at work? Must be..” you made your eyes exaggeratingly big, even though he didn't see it. “..exciting.”

“It was, yes.” He was already in the kitchen, pouring himself a drink. “Would have been even more so, if I would've been able to finish just now.” He came back to the room, a big smile on his lips and handed you a glass as well and waved at the couch. “Sit.”

You frowned, looking down at the couch too. “Do I want to?”

“Don't be such a prude.”

You rolled your eyes at him and took a seat. “I'm not a prude.” You mumbled quietly into the glass as you started to drink.

You tried to relax next to him, but in his presence you now felt an awkward silence fall between you and Ben.

Anxiety started to slowly rise in your chest thinking about the conversation ahead of you.

“So, Ben. Did you want to talk or were you just waiting for me to spend some quality time together?”

“Yeah, I was just waiting for you,” he answered. “Because you are such a joy to be around.”

Rolling your eyes, you swirled the amber gold liquid in your glass, and shifted in your seat to turn more towards Ben. “Shoot.”

“You know, you don't have to do this, right?”

Here we go again. About how he doesn't deserve my help. You sighed, waiting for him to continue.

“I'm serious. You can just leave. You should've left after the first night. Why are you putting yourself through this?”

“Because I want to help you."

Ben laughed at your words. “Now you want to help me? You didn't seem so keen on doing that when you first saw me.”

“Well, excuse me! I'd like to think my first reaction seeing you was totally justified, considering that you literally tried to kill me a few nights prior.”

“So what changed? Why are you torturing yourself with me?”

“You wouldn't understand. I–” you clamped up and finished your drink instead.

He snorted beside you. “Try me. I'm smarter than I look.” But without another word you got up from the couch and went to the kitchen to grab the whiskey bottle.

“It's just…” you looked at him quickly as you topped up your glass. His eyes were focused on you, indicating he was actually interested in hearing what you had to share.

“It's just that for most of my life I have been alone. Of course I only found that out later, but I was supposedly one of the first babies who got some new experimental version of the Compound V. They found me in some orphanage, where I was quite literally dumped at, so probably they thought ‘perfect, no one will miss her, let's fuck her up’.”

You emptied half of your glass. You even surprised yourself with how easily your story flowed out of you. This is the first time you ever talked about it. Something about him just made you feel safe enough to finally do it.

“I was kept in for a few years, for all kinds of tests and stuff, but when they thought that the V didn't work on me, I was once again thrown onto the streets. Hadn't one of the workers saved me, I probably wouldn't have seen double digits even.”

Thinking back to your childhood, you started to feel your eyes watering. Feeling silly about crying at that, you chuckled, before taking in another sip.

“Sounds like a happy ending, right? Well for me it was out of the frying pan, straight into the fire. For a little while everything was good. Then one day it started to seem like even just me waking up in the morning was an immediate day ruined for my mom. Being belittled and scolded by her became a daily occurrence for me. And if I dared to make a sound then I'd get the belt. “A failure” she used to call me. And that's just what I was. A failed fucking science experiment.”

You sniffled, sipping the whiskey and relishing in the burn it left in your throat, taking the attention from the pain that suddenly filled your heart. “But I pushed through it all. Until she died, when I was in senior year in high school.”

You tried to laugh through the tears. “I get a feeling you didn't ask for my whole life story, but that's what you're getting now.” You exhaled slowly and cleared your throat before continuing. “Well, even when she wasn't that nice or caring towards me when she was raising me, it was still just me and her. And apparently she cared a lot more than just a little, since after her death I found out she left me her apartment and an inheritance big enough to help me start college and gave me a little more time to find a job. And for that I have to be grateful, because I wouldn’t be here without her.”

“When did your powers show?” Ben finally asked. You were almost certain he had fallen asleep, but no, he was still listening. You dried your tears with the sleeve of your shirt.

“Jesus, woman, take a tissue.” Ben awkwardly offered you the tissue box from the table and your eyes went big seeing his gesture, but smiled at him, pulling a few out of the box.

“Uhh...thanks..It was in college. Sophomore year I think. Don't really remember how they started then. And I never told anyone, not even Harvey, who was my best friend then. Now it feels like we only speak to each other, because we work together.” You were feeling a little lighter to be able to get this off your mind. “Anyways, you wanted to know why I want to help you?”

You smiled at Ben, and saw his eyes softening just a little, but he was still clearly uncomfortable by your crying. “Yeah.” It was weird having him being so nice with you.

“Well, growing up like I did, I learned to close up all my emotions. With the job I have, I can't allow myself to make errors because I've gotten too attached to a client or a case. That's against not only my personal morals, but also the company's ethics, because in the end it would only end up with me screwing up my work. I can't afford that. How is it all connected to you? Well…” you looked directly at him. “This sounds so horrible, but even just feeling your pain makes me glad that everything I've gone through hasn't turned me into a senseless zombie yet. At least the pain is something.” You laughed humorlessly, feeling glad to see your little breakdown passing.

He remained quiet, visibly in thought and you couldn't even take a guess what was going on in his head.

For a while both of you drank in silence. Of course Ben did most of the job with emptying the bottle, you couldn't possibly outdrink him, but you didn't fall far behind and you knew already that you were fucked at tomorrow’s meeting. Figuratively. Sadly.

You had to give him some credit. He definitely wasn't wrong when he accused your moodiness with being too long without getting laid. The question was now if his offer to help you was still standing, but you didn't want to seem too desperate by just asking him to fuck you. Trying to get your mind off him, you decided to grab a new bottle from the fridge and ditched your glass, drinking it directly from the bottle. Ben seemed a little surprised for a second but accepted the bottle when you offered it to him.

“What is this shit?” He grimaced after taking a big sip from the bottle, and looked at the label, furrowing his brows. “Honey Whiskey.” You held back your laugh, seeing his face and added innocently, without revealing that this is what you usually drink. You just can't help it, you like your alcohol sweet. “They didn't have anything else.” He only rolled his eyes at you, and made a little face before drinking again.

“So what about you, Ben?” You asked as your eyes relaxed on Ben's lips, coming off the bottle with a drop of whiskey on them. His tongue quickly darted out to lick it up, but it seemed to happen in slow-motion and you desperately wished you could've been brave enough to do it yourself. To taste the sweetness on his lips. Instead you wet your own drying lips from the sight of him, before he looked at you. He caught you staring and his green eyes held you locked with a burning gaze for a minute. Coughing awkwardly, you quickly turned your eyes down from him.

“What about me?” He finally asked, scoffing at seeing you shy away.

“Why are you so convinced that you are so undeserving of my help?”

“Well, didn't you hear? I was a fucking menace to my team.” He chuckled darkly and handed the bottle over to you. “Apparently so much that they saw the need to get rid of me. Well, fuck them..” he laughed slowly. “They all got what they deserved.”

You didn't have to think twice about what he was implying, but you were wondering whether to raise the topic of why tried to kill you. You decided to not bring it up. He did say he was high then.

“And you think that this is the reason why you're not worth my help?"

“No, I-I just am not..” he grabbed the bottle from your hands. “I've done a lot of batshit crazy stuff in the past. Being honest now, not even half the crap that Vought has pinned on me, but that doesn't make it any better, does it?”

“Well, tell me one thing, Ben.” You scooted across the couch a little bit closer to him. “You told me yesterday you're a "changed man". If you had the chance, would you do it again? All that payback on Payback?”

“What are you now? My shrink?” He looked down on you, almost condescendingly, and sitting next to him made you feel so small. You couldn't push away the thoughts of asking him to have his way with you. You blamed it on the alcohol. It didn't help you relax at all, it only managed to make you horny.

“No, not that..” you said slowly, trying to get your mind out of the gutter, but with no effect. “Just trying to make up my mind on you, I guess.”

“What's the point of speculating on that then? If I say yes, would that change your current opinion on me?”

You looked up at him. “As you said yesterday, you're leaving it up to me to make my mind up on you. So, probably no, it wouldn't change it. I still think you didn't deserve what happened to you and I'd want to help you.”

You took the bottle from him to finish it off. “But you know, if you're fine with the nightmares, you can always lock your bedroom door. Message received loud and clear. Your decision, that's all.” You simply shrugged and got up from the couch.

“I'm off to bed.” You decided to end the night right there, before you did anything you'd probably come to regret in the morning. “Good night, Ben.”

“Night.” He mumbled under his breath and you heard him crush a pill with a glass, followed by a snort.

After your quick night routine, you got into your comfy shorts and top for sleep and tied your hair into a bun. Laying down in bed you rolled from side to side, unable to find a comfortable position. For over an hour you tried to fall asleep, getting more and more annoyed by the familiar ache for release keeping you from it. You had to do something for it and you hoped to God that Ben wouldn't hear you.

You reached for the drawer on your left and pulled out your good old reliable vibrator. You were damn glad that you decided to pack it up. It was nothing fancy, but in the last desperation, it got its job done well. It had been quite a while since you've used it and you were hoping it would not fail you now.

You quickly discarded your pants, threw them over the edge onto the floor. Your fingers slipped easily through the slick that had drenched your underwear. He didn't even do anything to me. How the fuck am I so wet already?

Your mind was racing when you started to slowly rub your clit. You quickly fell into a familiar rhythm with your fingers, despite it being a long time since you've last masturbated. Pleasuring yourself for a while, you felt the tension starting to build deep in your core, but the release seemed still miles away. It had been too fucking long for you and even now you knew you couldn't get yourself off with just your fingers. You needed more.

You grabbed the vibrator from the bed and slid it up against your clit before turning it on the slowest speed. Your hips bucked involuntarily when the low hum filled the room. The sweet tingling sensation against your bud quickly became almost overbearing.

You were just about to slide it in, when a knock on your door brought you out of your growing bliss.

“Sugar, if you're only relying on that plastic stick to get you off, then I'm honestly not surprised you're so pent up.” Your pussy quivered involuntarily when you heard his low rumble from the other side of the door.

You sat up in bed, trying to slow your breathing. “Leave me alone!” You couldn't bring yourself to tell him to take the toy’s place, that was still turned on in your hands, even though that's what you were imagining.

“Oh, no, sweetheart, I'm coming in.” You saw the door open.

“Ben! What the fuck? No!” You yelled at him as you tried to cover yourself in a hurry, but with no luck because before you got under the covers, Ben's large frame was already in your doorway.

To Be Continued...

Taglist: @jackles010378 @nescavaneck @cevansbaby-dove @deanwinchestersgirl87 @winchesterwild78 @anundyingfidelity @suckitands33 @waynes-multiverse

Thank you for reading! Feedback is appreciated!🤍

#jacklesversebingo23 #soldier boy #soldier boy x reader #soldier boy x female reader #soldier boy x you #jensen ackles #the boys tv #the boys amazon #x reader #the boys #soldier boy fanfiction

[sysig]

Let’s put it all on the line, see who’s victorious (Patreon)

#Doodles #Just Desserts #Villainsona #IRL vent stuff in the tags be warned #I've mentioned offhand that Kaiein is inspired by various sources but overall mostly on one person #And I've been very low contact with that person for years now - but I'm going to meet with them in the near future #I'm nervous as you can imagine haha #But I'd like it infinitely more to have to change Kaiein than to have him reinforced so I'm trying to feel hopeful as well #Either way I'm prepared. Either I get to do some rewriting or I have a very well-worn established outlet #Haha - it's a bit funny actually since there's no one-to-one translation but there is a kind of asymmetrical equivalence going on here #I pretty much never include my family in my sonas' stories - which is double funny since I love being an older sibling so much lol #That aspect rarely makes it into my sonas! I guess I feel like it's not my place to make characters for my loved ones lol #But IRL they're my support system <3 I'm in good hands and I trust them to have my back with what I need to face #And Charm has her wings! The Staff! She has something to rely on that make her more capable and confident! #It's not The Same Thing but it's how it feels ♥ The power of love and friendship!! It makes me stronger!! #And that's what makes the difference between Charm as a villain and a Hero :) #I used her TVAU outfit here - or one of the temps anyway :P - but honestly this is probably how S2 would go down hehe <3 #You're no match for Charm when she knows she's loved!! She'll fight you to full defeat! #I wonder how he'd react #Guess I'll find out real soon #Wish me luck

[sunny44]

Marriage (Pt. 2)

Pairing: Max Verstappen x ex fiancée!reader Mason Mount x Fiancée!reader

Warnings: past talk, anger

Summary: Max leaves his fiancée y/n at the altar on their wedding day but after years of regretting what he did, by a miracle of fate (or Lando) she appears in his life again.

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

The next day, after a restless night of reflection and regret, I decided that I needed to do something to make up for what I had done to Y/N years ago.

I couldn't just leave things the way they were.

I called Lando and asked if I could talk to him in person. He agreed and we met at a nearby café.

As soon as we sat down, I poured out my story and remorse to him, admitting all my faults and fears on that fateful day.

Lando listened in silence, with a serious look on his face.

"So that's why she reacted like that when you offered to pay,." he finally said. "My God, Max, how could you do such a thing? She's an amazing person and you had the chance to marry that woman and you ran out of the church like a scared puppy."

"I know, I screwed up and I really regret it, that's why I'm trying to get you to give me her number for me or I don't know maybe I’ll write a letter and you deliver it." He sighs. "Please, I'm begging you.”

"You know how much it must hurt her, right?" I shook my head, feeling the weight of guilt once again.

"I know, and I really want to make things right, Lando. If you can help me talk to her, I owe her a decent apology and an explanation of why I did what I did."Lando looked at me for a moment and then nodded.

"I'll talk to her, Max. But I can't guarantee that she'll want to see you again."

I thanked Lando and he promised to do his best to arrange a meeting between us.

While I was waiting, I started writing a letter to Y/N, expressing all my feelings and regrets honestly. I knew that a letter wouldn't solve everything, but I also didn't know if I'd be able to express all my feelings to her, I've never been good at expressing myself and I know that when it comes to talking to her I'll get in the way and won't be able to say everything.

A few days later, Lando called to tell me that Y/N had agreed to meet me at a local café. My heart was racing as I headed there.

When I walked in, I saw Y/N sitting at a table at the back.

She looked tense and nervous, but also determined. I sat down opposite her and took a deep breath.

"Lando said you wanted to talk to me so I'm hoping you'll say something instead of just staring at me like a idiot."

"I owe you a lot more than an apology and I also know that nothing I do or say will fix what I did, let alone ease the pain I caused you, but I'm not the same person anymore, I'm not the same stupid 21-year-old boy who left you at the altar." I took a breath and continued speaking. "I'd do everything differently if I could and I know you're probably thinking that it's too late to change the past and I know that but I can make it up to you in the future and prove to you that I'm a better person."

"I don't need you to prove anything to me."

"I know that, but I want you to know that the person who hurt you no longer exists." I took the letter out of my pocket and handed it to her. "The only thing that hasn't changed about me in all this time is the fact that I'm terrible at showing my feelings, but you already know that. I don't expect this to fix everything, Y/N, but it's a start."

She took the letter and laughed wryly as I got up to leave.

"Do you really think a letter can fix something, Max?"

"No, I don't think so, Y/N. But it's a start for me to express how sorry I am and how much you mean to me. I was wrong, I was afraid, but that doesn't justify what I did."

She took the letter and started to open it, but I put my hand over hers to stop her.

"I don't want you to read it now, I don't want you to read it in anger or out of obligation. I want you to go home and read it when you feel ready and not because I asked you to." I took my car key out of my pocket. "I'm really sorry and I hope you can forgive me someday."

I paid for our coffees and left with my heart a little lighter knowing that she had a part of my feelings in her hands.

Taglist: @ironmaiden1313 @dudenhaaa27 @christianpulisic10 @gaslysainz @fanboyluvr @urgirlceci @justdreamersdream @aundercover @newlifeforus @depressedriches @topguncultleader @123beautifulgirl123 @luvrrish

#f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 x you #f1 #f1 instagram au #max verstappen smut #max verstappen #max verstappen one shot #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen wallpaper #max verstappen x you #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen au #max verstappen f1 #max verstappen icons #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen instagram au #max verstappen edit #max verstappen angst #max verstappen series #max verstappen social media au #max verstappen drabble #max verstappen fanart #max verstappen fluff #max verstappen headcanons #max verstappen headers #max verstappen blurb #mv33 #mv1 x reader #mv1

[jazeswhbhaven]

He Never Misses! (Leraye Limited Event React I)

Okay so, here's the damn thing about this event.

I loved the amount of peeking into each noble's dynamic with each other so much and I love the fact that this is pretty much a slice-of-life approach to how a "normal" day in Gehenna was and is.

In an overall sense we get a good dose of Sitri, interesting pop-ins from Astaroth and Paimon, and a little surprise visit that had me squealing later.

This, my lovelies is 6 part reaction because I took that many damn screenshots and I honestly wish there was a better way to upload them all on one or two posts without a photo limit. BUT alas...

Make sure to grab a snacky snack, and let's dive in...to the life of long-haired Leraye~ ┬─┬(◕‿◕♡)

So we enter with Astraoth just minding his business and cruising around the palace and Sitri just comes up and starts getting onto him about not being at the palace lol

Turns out he was gone for a while because he was tending to his hobbies which is corrupting...

You hear that everyone? He corrupts anyone so keep your windows open (ʘ‿ʘ✿)

I'm really crying right now, so basically he's telling why it took particularly long this time around because he was dealing with someone who hated their dead-end job. (sounds fucking familiar right?)

nah now think about it, imagine wildly that someone at pb put that in the event as a joke when in reality somebody either once quit before or secretly a current employee can't stand work and low key just slid that idea in....buttt let's get back to the event lmao

Sitri hit 'em with the "Sorry I'll you finish but-" treatment. Though it's for good reason..

Awhhhh Roro...(yes my nickname for him leave me be) LET HIM FINISH

So basically what happened is that Sitri lost his favorite pen (rly?) it's the color of Solomon's hair and he put some of this man's hair in the ink and now he's lost it and he can't find it.

It's funny because Astaroth said the same thing as me "Why would you do that?" but he understood the sentiment behind it and was willing to give Sitri some insight on who to ask to find something like that.

LERAYE!

So our boy has crazy good eyesight. Like dangerously good to the point where I want to swap my eyes out with his because good lord I'd love a reason to not spend money on glasses with these expensive ass lenses.

So fun side note here that everyone leaves their door open except for Sitri, who most likely just likes his privacy or is used to having his door closed because perhaps the room he stayed in during Hades always had the door closed? Something along those lines I would like to think.

So now here are some nice Leraye and Paimon dynamics <3 our poor fave femboy lost his piercing recently and was asking Leraye to help find it. So it appears that either the piercing is shaped like Ppyong like the barette on his hair, or it's as big as he is, which last time I checked isn't Ppyong technically the largest red lump? (idk everyone else is pretty tiny when compared to him in the red lump family)

Okay nvm my previous thing it's shaped like Ppyong (LMAO) and this sounds cute actually, beside the fact that it becomes a fucking bomb all of the sudden (ʘ‿ʘ✿)

like imagine the TSA having a field day finding one of those...

I love how Paimon is like "Someone might die but most importantly my piercing is going to be destroyed :("

Amazing priorities bby, I support you.

Also, Astaroth is interested in how the piercing works and its explosive properties so he wants to tag along (he's so weird i love him) And Leraye with his cheery self is happy to help. So he goes to the window to start his search with those amazing eyeballs of his and his hair is blowing in the wind (imagine bouncy music in the background, his hair flowing and him humming while trying to find it)

Paimon is over here thirsting over watching him and it really fuels my "Paimon probably flirts with the nobles from time to time but he's never serious about it"

So within moments, he says he has a lead but hasn't really found it yet so the three go out looking around and well, so far not so good. This is pretty much the third time Leraye had moved positions and and updated on the status of finding the piercing and Paimon is getting a bit impatient.

You see that little pouty angry face? This event isn't voiced but I can hear him now getting all upset. But tbh I get upset too when I'm trying to find something and it's always "almost, maybe the next place it will be there"

Thanks Astaroth, really helping out here lmao

So it appears that even though he was circliing around alot he finally appears to have a lock in on the piercing's whereabouts which excites Paimon. Astraoth starts being poetic about Leraye's rooftop running and Paimon is just like-

You heard him! Stfu and get your ass movin' Roro!!! (I love how Paimon is super agitated easily when it comes to something he cares about lol)

I threw this scene in here because I was like "ah yes the devil with the good eyes I wish that were me lmao"

okay so pitt stop...because even though he's not known for his endurance he surely wasn't having a problem during his h-scene so....( ͡° ͜ʖ├┬┴┬┴

So when he's catching his breath Paimon and Astaroth catch up whose pretty much questioning how Leraye can even see this far ahead and it sounds like they traveled pretty damn far. (remember it's a flashback so Astaroth didn't know about his abilities yet)

And then out of fucking nowhere Leraye just goes to this random hole in the alleyway and throws something at Astaroth while Paimon is like omfg watch out???!!!

So we find out that it was Astaroth's snake that was in that hole just hiding out. So i noticed his name is Apophis and the described him as white but he's clearly black .-. ANYWAY.

(don't worry everyone he was just coming back from filming his role in Meg the Stallion's music video /j lol) So apparently Apophis was lost and Roro was looking for him but weren't they looking for Paimon's piercing?

Lol Apophis bites Leraye and possibly others when Astaroth isn't around and that's cute. Ofc he'd only trust his owner.

And ofc we find out that the snake has swallowed Paimon's piercing...and I'm just like. Oh yikes...so how are we getting this out? lol

So for this little scene Leraye explains plainly that he can see the shape of the piercing inside Apophis' stomach and yet the other two can't and that Leraye just assumes they can because he's naive in his thinking just like most devils, a childlike wonder and view.

And while Astaroth is reflecting on that Paimon asks for him to get the earring out which again I'm like how is he even going to do that???

┬┴┬┴┤•ᴥ•ʔ├┬┴┬┴ oh.....

he can make his voice deeper?

Me too Apophis...me too. I'm shaking, crying and throwing up.

Because think about that shit...Astaroth coming into your room to just randomly corrupt and fuck with you and even if you are corrupt he has a thing for making it even worse...and then he pulls this poetic, deep-voiced nsfw audio shit on you and now you're committing crimes you never even knew you could because of it.

BUT that stops for now with part 1, phew...only 5 more to go...! (i'm really sleepy rn so I'm going to get a couple hours of sleep and then get up and start back up again lol)

#whb #what in hell is bad #whb leraye #whb astaroth #whb paimon #whb gehenna bois❤️ #whb event #whb spoilers #whb screencaps #let's goooooo noble event!

[yandere-sins]

Ummm... Not a smutty thought, but I was having a thought and I'd like our resident yandere enthusiast's opinion. You know Raphael (BG3)? Well, a huge chunk of the fandom is obsessed with him and I know many people who want to jump his bones. The only issue with that is... he's only attracted to himself. So, you know, I guess I am asking what you think it would be like if Raphael really did get interested in Tav/Durge? Does he try to change them? Does he mansplain and manipulate his way into making himself sound reasonable? How does the savior of the city even react to their very powerful, very creeping admire?

As someone who is, in fact, obsessed with Raphael (he's probably my favorite character, and yes, my taste is that bad, and I am choosing him over Halsin, I'm so sorry ;;), I can only tell you that even in my daydreams with him, I agree that it's probably not 'love' what he harbors for someone else but merely 'interest'. But people have married for less, so why worry, lol. All he wants his object of interest to be is... interesting. That's what we can give him! xD (And yes, I do believe I can fix him, but if we're talking Yandere!Raphael, even I give up, lol)

Also, I am one chapter into a Yandere!Raphael story, and I had to ask myself these questions, too, so you came to the right place >:3

After establishing my credentials, here is what I was going off on as to how Raphael could even be seen getting a darling:

Raphael isn't above chasing someone. Not necessarily for very long, but he does make quite a few attempts before sending you to hell (hehe). That is if you are interesting enough to chase. So you need to have something that will keep him holding onto wanting to chase you, be it strength, power, or my personal favorite (and yes, my delulu is that this is one of the reasons he is so interested in the Tav), no interest in him. And he has Korilla stalk Tav; let's never forget that. So, he can be interested in someone and make them majorly uncomfortable while at it.

As narcissistic as he is, he likes it when you do what he says. I am sure he's not above wanting to be admired(considering he admires himself so much and what his goals are). He's all about someone raving about how amazing he is, and if they prove to be useful, then their soul is twice as valuable to have. There is value in raising and shaping the object you desire into what you want them to be, even if it takes some effort. (The same could be said about Mizora if I think about it...)

Strictly speaking, Raphael has someone akin to a darling: Hope. And he clearly is amused by and keeps tormenting her. I am not usually one to encourage more than one darling, but I am willing to forgo Hope's darling status and say she'd be an excellent support to a darling because she's so optimistic still? Despite the torture, she seemed pretty courageous. She could influence the darling, which, in turn, makes them more interesting again. The principle is: He did it once, nothing is stopping him from doing it again. And clearly, he can be interested in people other than himself. (Not to say that his darling will always have his full attention all the time only on them, but I do see that he'd have a good reason to come back to the House of Hope to check on them because the thought of them lures him back.)

(There are surely more reasons I came up with, but it's been almost three months since I wrote my story, so I honestly can't remember lol...)

As to what he'd do with them... it depends on what the backstory is like. What he wants from his darling and how his darling reacts depends greatly on the situation. There is always the good ol' "boredom" excuse but in such a big world with so many possibilities there can always be a good reason how he comes into possession of his darling and why he keeps them.

In most cases, I think he'd try to break them, use them for his own means, manipulate them into turning away from what they've known/loved and towards worshipping him, or simply want to see their suffering. It's a matter of what kind of interest he has in the darling.

In some research I did (and sorry, I cannot find the source, and it might be wrong since I'm not really into the DnD lore that much), I read that even if cambions are raised only with the "good" parent, they'd still be evil by nature. So yeah. Maybe he just enjoys watching his darling's dreams and hopes be shattered continuously and watching them slowly crawl back to his feet, asking for forgiveness even if they'll try refusing him again the next day. Or maybe he wants them to make a contract with him by all means necessary.

Overall, it's a big game for him. It's fun. Watching you lose the light in your eyes or cave in and do as he says no matter how degrading it is. Raphael just wants to control you and have his way exactly how he wants it, but he doesn't mind breaking down your resistance piece by piece over a certain amount of time until he has you exactly where he wants you to be and how he wants you to be. It makes things more interesting and you more valuable. And the more you struggle, the better, so do your worst.

Hope I could answer some questions! Many of them depended on the scenario we're working with, but I hope you got the gist! I'm so feral normal about Raphael, but I hope I didn't ramble too much, lol.

#yandere #yandere talk #raphael bg3 #raphael #yandere raphael #yandere!raphael #yandere imagines #yandere headcanons #yandere scenarios #yandere fanfiction #yandere writing #yandere stories #yandere oneshots #yandere oneshot #yandere drabble #yandere x reader #yandere x darling #Yandere TW

[etincelleart]

i will say i havent actually seen any real proof of dillon goo being a bad fit besides "hes friends with shane and we dont like shane." im pretty out of the loop but if miles and kerry are qualified to know "montys vision" because they were friends with monty, why doesnt the same apply to shane? and why should that disqualify dillon? imo dillon goo would be better than a faceless corpo

I'd rather way to see how CRWBY reacts on that point. Honestly people talking about "Monty's vision" just don't know anything better because none of us know about his vision, outside of his close friends. There's a lot of things we probably don't know from behind the scenes, their bonds and all. I haven't seen anything bad about Dillon either and in the end CRWBY will take the decision and I trust them to know what they're doing for their story

#rwby #rooster teeth #dillon goo

[factual-fantasy]

27 asks! Thank you for all the kind words! :}}}💙💙💙

@network-warrior-01

Funnily enough I have been thinking a lot recently about making my own web comic, right here on Tumblr! I have a lot of concepts, although I don't know if I'd make a separate comic just for the Factual Fam. I feel like they kind'a already have a web comic..? In a way.?

And I feel like if I made a story driven comic about us, separate from the ones I'm already making.. It would feel.. idk, off? My lil guys are meant to be with me, going with the flow of whatever's going on with my blog/my life. This is their story. Their lives with me are their story. If that makes sense?? I'm not sure if I have any other ideas in mind for them.. what would their world even look like if I wasn't in it or if it was different from what they have now..??

But on the other note, could you imagine? Me? Making a 100% original comic? With my own original characters, story, and world? Its a daunting thought. The sheer amount of stuff I would have to plan and the amount of angst I could inflict on ya'll would be insane <XDD

And yeahh,, the fanart thing would be a problem... <:/

The four of them sit together at the base of my stuffed animal pile. Nice and cozy! :}}

@cudlycorncornsworthcoberson

Actually the quilts are rather deceiving, they're just for show! <XD Bibi was conscious and could talk when he was still a picture. And he became a drawing without the use of a quilt. Jangles had a quilt but was still a picture. He was later "brought to life" with my pen!

The thing about all that life stuff, quilts, pens.. its honestly just for show. Those things don't bring them to life, I do. The flashy ways I do it are just for fun <XD

And about Cici! She was talking! And I think kind'a the idea as to why Jangles could hear them both was not only for the spooks. But becuase Cici and Gerald's concepts were so strongly developed at that point they were basically fully fleshed out characters. Their bodies just didn't exist yet. Hence the "I cant see" I hadn't stitched her button eyes on yet!

So basically their personalities and designs had been thought out. They just weren't there yet. But their presence was still so strong.. And Jangles being a picture kind'a bridged the gap between the concept world and the drawn one. If that makes sense??

He could still hear them after he was drawn though, I guess its an ability that he kept even after being art-ified..? <XD My lore's a little whack- its best not to look too far into it!

Also thank you! I'm glad you liked it all! :DD

Like I've said before, the best way to show you care is with comments. That's what would make me the happiest. :)

And sure I will! Some comics and random cameos here and there.. I already have some comics in mind.. 👀👀

I haven't seen the Puss in boots movie, but something tells me you're right XD

Hmm.. I don't actually know.. That's a good question :0

I guess they would react the same if us humans found a group of people like that. And what would humans do? Probably report it to someone?? <XD

@minophlia

XDD Thank you! I'm so glad you like me and what I make!! :DDD

Giant scary abstracted monsters that attack anything in the vicinity?? Nope nope nope!! Jevil would FREAK OUT and Immediately warp them out of there with a mirror. Cant risk anyone getting hurt!

That's not a half bad idea! :0 I'll see if I can remember to get around to it <XD

Also thank you so much!! :DD

All I know of punch out is from smash bros. And I got beef with Little Mac. Anytime anyone plays as him they always kick my butt XDD

I imagine Jevil wouldn't tolerate it much. If Jax was being a butt towards Jevil that's one thing. But as soon as he starts to direct that to anyone else in the group- especially Seam.. Then there's gonna be a problem. :x

Seam would be annoyed. But its likely the same as Jevil. He doesn't really care about his antics, but as soon as its directed at Jevil or someone else.. well then there's a problem-

@abaroo

Thank you so much!! :DD And of course I held his widdle hand! He needed the emotional support! He was making the biggest decision he's ever made in his life- <XD

And you're welcome! <XD I'm so glad you liked it! :}}

No no no no that is the wrong habitat for me!

I need to be put in a cardboard box with all the flaps open except for 1. There needs to be a grassy/muddy floor and a bowl of water.

Then put this box out in your backyard in the pouring rain. Don't give me anything to warm myself, and only feed me refrigerated watermelon. Now THAT'S what I call a comfy habitat!

@multiverse-city

Thank you so much! :DD I appreciate the compliments!! :}}

Although I'm sorry to say that I don't want me and my critters to show up as background characters.. <:( Sorry!

He probably has a couple of times yeah. Maybe right after big events or shows he got pushed over the edge and crashed.. :(

He might..? But I think Freddy would want to give Bonnie space.. Becuase when Bonnie is overwhelmed, that's what he wants. Is silence and space. And when Freddy is around Bonnie he would try to be really quiet and not move around too much..

So many siblings...

My only thought is that my version of the Daycare Attendant would better fit the role of Kaufmo. :0 The idea that he suddenly disappears, only to reemerge as a monster..

That, and I would shoe horn a bunch of unnecessary angst in there XDD

:DD Thank you so much!! :}}}

WAAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! Its so nice to hear that even though you knew nothing about the characters, you still loved my comic!! :DD And thinking my critters have depth?? And feel human?? WAAA THANK YOUUU!!! I try to give them all separate personality's and really put some emotion into them, I'm so glad you've noticed! It seems to be working! :DD

And again a thousand thank you's for the compliments to my sona! :DD The bloodied hands and dripping face getting worse and worse as the comic progresses to show my exhaustion,, even the comically placed hands! I put a lot of heart into all of it and I'm so happy that you've noticed!!

Thank you for all the kind words! Sending platonic love right back at ya!! :DDD 💙💙💙

@anartistwhowrites

THANK YOU!! :DDD

<XD Noooo don't cry! Thank you though, I'm glad you liked it! :))

@beryl-shade

One word; Horrified.

Aww, I'm sorry it made you cry! <:(( But I'm glad you liked it none the less! <:}}}

@badlyblurry

Darn <XD I had it match my Tumblr's theme.

@crimson-thinker

My main thing is it just feels like they "stole" what I made and drew it without asking me. And then turned around and gave it to me as a gift. Which obviously isn't what fanart actually is. But that's just how it feels.

But hey, your ask has many more reasons for me to not like fanart <XDD

The idea I had was they can use Power-Ups purely becuase they're human. Like, something about just being human gives you access to the power the Power-Ups have. .

Do you have a different idea though? I'd love to hear it! :)

#my response #fnaf security breach #undertale #deltarune #jevil and seam #octonauts #factual fam #the amazing digital circus #super mario bros

[newestq]

hmm.. Random writing prompt I guess? Idol!Reader's group and P1Harmony are on weekly idol together, and the reader says one of the members is their ideal type :0 how will they react???

┊ ˚➶ ｡˚ ☁️ p1harmony | more here!

synopsis. p1harmony's ideal types.

author's note. n/a.

wc > 0.547k , genre : fluff , gn!reader

⊹ keeho

"honestly, keeho fits the criteria."

taken aback by your honesty.

he really didn't expect you to outright say that lol

his members are definitely hyping him up.

"keeho, is y/n your ideal type?"

"uhh i don't know," he replies in english. "i never really thought about my ideal type."

when the team games start, he definitely wanted to team up with you.

⊹ taeyang : theo

"i'd say my ideal type is someone like theo."

oh he never thought he'd hear those words.

embarrassed as ALL HELL.

yes he's glad you said that but also c'mon on camera?!

his face is in his hands and keeho and intak are making him miserablez

when he looks up he notices your almost rejected expression.

"theo, would you say y/n is your ideal type?"

"yeah, i'd think so," he replies with a nod, his eyes switching from eunhyuk and you.

⊹ jiung

"someone who calls his fans his choco chips."

he smiles, not really realizing at first.

kwanghee and eunhyuk are confused by your choice of words, but keeho is quick to humor the situation.

"jiung! he calls his fans choco chips!" he laughs, covering his hand over his mouth.

that's when jiung realizes.

you. someone he's admired for a long while.

sees him. as your ideal type.

his smile is wide and his face is RED.

you two make eye contact and you send a wink his way.

he swears he's going into cardiac arrest.

⊹ intak

"my ideal type? probably someone that's good at dancing and is cute, like a puppy."

"ohhh, so you rather a cute man over a handsome man?" kwanghee asks.

"puppy? so you like intak," theo says, smiling towards intak.

"yeah, pretty much."

"oh."

his members are 100% laughing at his reaction.

"awe someone likes our intakie."

"i feel bad," intak starts, his hand on his chest. "i was gonna say my ideal type is yeonjun from txt."

⊹ shota : soul

"one word: potato king."

"oh it's me," shota says without really thinking.

you laugh at his reaction, nodding your head.

"bingo!"

"oh wait what?" he replies in english, flustered at your words.

his smile is wide, and he has this funny feeling in his stomach.

throughout the rest of the show, he can't help but take occasional glances towards you.

when the games come to an end and both groups are biding goodbye, you walk over to him; the same smile he's grown to like.

"wanna go eat out some time? i know a burger joint that serves really good fries."

oh he thinks he's in love fr

⊹ jongseob

it's no secret ( to the members ) that jongseob has a huge crush on you.

a celebrity crush is all it is, he tells himself.

he admires your work from afar, and can't get enough of your beauty.

so when he hears the words 'ideal type' and 'jongseob' come out of your mouth in the same sentence... he's a goner.

"y/n seems to have a liking towards p1harmony's youngest member! how're you feeling from that jongseob?"

"it's-yeah, i mean that's-it's-," he cuts himself off by placing his face in his hands.

he totally embarrasses himself in front of you.

stuttering on his words, face red as a tomato, obvious looks towards you.

it doesn't get any better when it's his turn.

"jongseob, who's your celebrity crush?"

────────────────────────

#kpop #p1harmony #p1h keeho #p1h theo #p1h jiung #p1h intak #p1h soul #p1h jongseob #p1harmony fanfic #p1h fluff #p1h imagines #p1h #newestq

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for getting mad at my friend dating?

So a year ago I (25F) went to a birthday party with my friend group and ended up head over heals for a guy. This was extremely weird cause I've never dated or felt attraction before, so I was confused and scared but excited all at once.

My friends were very supportive, but one most of all because she's the exact opposite of me and wanted to help. She's been dating since she was a teen and is very confident when approaching dudes.

She gave me advice on how to talk to him irl, on social media, etc. She found him on tinder once and sent me his pictures. Anyway, she gave me a ton of confidence that I'd never had before when it came to my sexuality and I really appreciated it.

So I talked to him various times in a span of 4 months, long ass conversations, but I never was brave enough to ask him out. Until I did, April this year, and he said yes. But as I tried to arrange a day for us, he gave me signs that he wasn't really interested in going out. I gave him an out and he took it. Never spoke to him about it again.

A week and a half later my friend calls me. She talks with a tone of voice that honestly scared me so I thought she was mad. I was also in a very sensitive state because of what happened with the guy. So I meet with her, she sits down and tells me that, a couple of weeks ago, she had started to have feelings for the same dude as me. She said she wasn't going to act on those feelings until I asked him out, and that turned out negative. So she gave it a shot and he said yes and were going out that same week. She said she wanted to let me know first and if I was mad at her.

I honestly could not believe what she was telling me and didn't know how to react. Because I thought she was upset with me when she called I had taken some anxiety medication, which created this sort of fog in my mind that wasn't helping. She kept asking if I was mad and I said I didn't think it was worth it, that fighting with a friend for a guy wasn't something I thought was healthy. And she was relieved, said that it wasn't like I had a claim on him either. She thanked me and we left it at that.

The next few days it became clear to me that I was mad as hell. Jealous, disappointed, rejected and upset. I tried to tell her in the most peaceful way how I felt because I avoid conflict like the plague. She got really defensive.

After that my friends, who were very supportive of me and my newfound attraction at first, told me to move on, that it was just a crush, that I was probably mostly upset because he chose her and not me. That there's other guys out there.

They're still going out and I avoid them as much as possible. I feel so hurt when I see them, but I feel like I'm being childish. Yesterday someone asked her if they were official yet and she vehemently denied it. But they ARE dating, just not boyfriend and girlfriend.

AITA for being mad?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[desertthorn]

Ok, I'm getting caught up in Face and BA's practically non-existent relationship. I could go on forever, but I'm on mobile with long nails, so I'll stick to some bullet points for now to preserve my sanity.

•One thing I've noticed is how fucking difficult it is to find examples of Face and BA interacting. Just them standing next to each other is a whole lot of work to track down. 9 times out of 10 Face is next to Hannibal or Murdock where he feels most comfortable, ironically the same goes for BA. BA will take an order from Face at the appropriate times, but when they stand next to each other, they hardly ever interact if at all. One exception is that BA doesn't tend to react to anything Face says unless he's angry like in 'Black Day at Bad Rock' and 'Chopping Spree' or unless he's making fun of Face. In fact, I've noticed BA almost only ever teases Face. He yells a lot at Murdock and will argue with Hannibal, but he will outright make fun of Face.

It's also some of the only times BA smiles and laughs. Nearly every time this happens, BA isn't looking at Face at the time. He'll have his eyes on the road or being doing something with his hands that his eyes never leave. When Face ever tries to engage with BA, there is almost no reaction at all.

Face just waits for the tiniest nod before he moves on.

But once in a great while we get something like this:

This is one of the only times I can think of that they actually have a conversation. Face is complaining like he does, and BA responds with something insightful.

So to sum up, minus orders, there are basically three types of interactions between them.

1- BA mostly ignores Face while Face tries to talk to him.

2- BA teasing Face.

3- BA is angry at Face.

So why do you think that is?

• Here's what I've been thinking about.

Face lies for a living, BA doesn't like lying. Let's start there. I think when Face looks at BA and tries to talk to him, BA chooses to not react because it gives him the upper hand. Can't get scammed if you don't play your part. Not that he thinks he's being scammed, but BA has seen enough to almost always have his guard up. There is a lot of respect for Hannibal that let's BA feel more comfortable around him and with Murdock he gets affection whether he wants it or not, that's just how Murdock rolls. So for BA he's not making a choice until it comes to his interactions with Face. Now for Face, he has the same thing with Hannibal and Murdock, no emotional work needed there, but when it comes to BA he's at a loss. He can't scam his way into friendship with BA, but he can't be too genuine either. It's in his nature to also have his guard up, so there are two walls put up between them at all times. The biggest difference is you can tell Face wants to be friends with BA and despite the walls, Face trusts his friend/not friend probably more than he realizes. The poor kid was probably pretty lonely as a child so having this little family means a lot to him even if he is somewhat unaware of it. When Face tries to leave, he address the whole team, but it's BA who responds first. It seems to kinda take Face by surprise. So he tries to make light of the situation. Look at the two of them at the end here:

It's probably the only time they've ever embraced and it's clearly uncomfortable, but neither of them hesitates. Their guards both drop for just long enough to be friends. I know everyone focuses on Murdock in this scene, but I always notice this more.

•One last thing I'd like to add is from 'Black Day at Bad Rock'.

While Face is pacing back and forth in Dr. Sullivan's living room talking about how BA is gonna kill him, Hannibal says "Face, BA loves you." When Face doubles back and says "he does?" Hannibal responds, "Told me himself" (those lines are from memory and may be a little off, but the intention remains). Face is genuinely taken aback by every time he is informed of or experiences BA's affection for him, cuz he honestly can't see it 90% of the time.

Then there's this:

It was one of the only times we see them make eye contact and see BA smile. I'm not gonna get into much more here than BA starting angry and ending with him making fun of Face, there's too much here lol, but this is the best example of their dynamic.

.

.

I've gotta go, I can only type with one finger for so long, but I've been sitting on this and had to get it out. Feel free to add on!

#the a team #the a-team #ba baracus #b a baracus #ba #bad attitude #templeton peck #face #faceman #hannibal smith #hm murdock #murdock #john hannibal smith #my rambles

[saltpepperbeard]

It's the entitlement that really frustrates me. David didn't create this show to fix all problems with representation, he didn't even know what queerbaiting was, bless his heart.

People keep saying "we were promised xyz, we were baited, he betrayed us" ( I wish I was joking about the last once.

He literally promised none of that. And he ows us nothing. Whether people want want to admit it or not, OFMD is his story. This happens a lot nowadays, someone makes something, the response is "well its not what I want ,therefore it's trash".

I dunno, I'm just angry at this point

HONESTLY. And I feel like that's becoming such a large issue that spans across numerous forms of media too. Like, from tv shows to youtube to fanfiction, the audience thinks they're "owed" something. "Owed" something simply for being there and consuming the thing. And it's like??? No??? You are just there on your own volition to consume the thing that's being provided to you???

*hands you a cupcake* "i don't like this cupcake >:(" THEN DON'T EAT IT???

And yeah, as you said, this is very much David's story. This has always been his story. He was passionate to tell it even before it got such a large following. He was surprised it got such a large following!

It seems like he's had a lot of things in mind since the very beginning, and a rather clear direction in which he's wanted to steer the story. And, based on his recent interviews and also very interesting meta pieces I've seen, the whole [redacted] was probably a long time coming too.

That's just the thing. I also feel like everyone just gets so caught up in their own interpretations and their own headcanons and their own versions of the story that it leads to almost inevitable disappointment and/or upset. Hell, even I'm a bit guilty of that; I looked too hard into that one article that described Stede's beach reunion dream, and thought we were going to get a makeout in the waves. And then when we didn't, I was like "oh lol 😀." Same with the little brief snippet of Stede pushing Ed against the wall that we got before episodes 6 and 7 dropped; I went in with preconceived notions which didn't end up getting met.

BUT LIKE, THE THING IS, THAT WAS ENTIRELY ON ME LMAO??? NOT THE FAULT OF ANYONE INVOLVED IN THE SHOW???? And it seems like people are disregarding that very fact! Like, oh I'm upset with how this went, so it's YOUR fault. I'm not responsible for how I'm reacting to this; it's YOU. YOU were supposed to bend exactly to MY wants.

And that's just,,,not! the case!

I'm over here piloting my safe spaceship, but what I've been seeing in my peripherals is making me sad too. Like, just the blatant disregard for everything else this show has given us, and the vitriol being slung towards the cast and crew, and all the negativity around what was supposed to be a hopeful sendoff...

People can be upset. People are absolutely allowed to be disappointed, or sad, or even angry. People can definitely dislike a narrative or character choice. Hell, I'd definitely feel some kind of way if Ed or Stede died, and I've gotten angry over narrative directions in other fandoms before. But just...the lines that have been crossed are just so so disheartening to see. You can be angry without being ugly about it, without pulling so many people down with you.

If people are that upset, I really encourage them to just step back, take a breath, and focus on other outlets. Because the entitlement and accusatory bits are certainly not it.

#Answered #Anons #OFMD S2 Spoilers #only tagging the necessary ones PFFFF #because yeah it's just... #whew #AND #I definitely extend open arms to you anon #Because this little circle is definitely trying to turn poison into positivity

[linkspooky]

hi Spooky! I just read your meta about Gojo's motivation in the fight and you brought up interesting points.

I thought Gojo was fighting in a way that he's trying to save Megumi, because if Gojo is really trying to eliminate Sukuna for good he would go for the most fatal blow, the brain, he knows that Sukuna can still come back even without heart (lungs and liver)... so I thought Gojo is probably trying to weaken Sukuna to "make room" for Megumi. Even if his facade is "carefree", at first he already warned Sukuna that he won't hold back, he seemed worried when he realized that Megumi is the one that got hit by UV. But now I'm worried about his character growth, is it like he's decreasing? or at least he's not showing something better than the Gojo who killed Toji - teen Gojo; what happened to the Gojo that claims to protect his students' youth and who is supposed to be the "good guy" in this fight...

I still think Gojo is fighting with the belief he can revive Megumi after he takes down Sukuna, but I agree with you anon his attitude towards the fight shows his lack of growth after Toji. Not only does Gojo reference Toji a couple of times like the battle is still fresh on his mind but his emotional state resembles the way he was when he fought Toji post-awakening as the "strongest." It wasn't just a happy-go-lucky facade at that point Gojo stated in his internal narration he wasn't fighting to avenge Riko: it really was just about defeating Toji and using his newfound power to reach his full potential.

It's understandable Gojo reacted that way in the moment though. He's seventeen, and it's probably alienating to have that much power thrust on your shoulders at seventeen. However, Gojo shows a clear lack of progress since that battle. Eleven years have passed since the battle with Toji, and Gojo's kind of trapped there mentally. He's still fighting for the same reasons he fought against Toji. Those lines could be applied to how he feels via Sukuna's possession of Megumi.

"Right now I'm not angry for you. Nor do I feel vengeful toward anyone. Right now, it's just that everything feels right."

Word of god supports this: Gege was asked directly if Gojo matured after the battle with Toji, and Gege explained instead of maturing he left the decision making up to Geto.

This is pretty consistent with Gojo and Geto's foiling with one another. Geto tends to be a deeply self-reflective character almost to a fault. While I'd argue that while Gojo is known by the fandom as the more selfish one, he is oddly someone who doesn't self reflect at all.

We know far more about Geto's internal world and how he sees things because of his internal narration. Honestly, if you compare the short time he's a focus character in Hidden Inventory to the entire rest of the manga Gojo receives a lot less internal dialogue. When Gojo does have internal narration it's almost always just him strategizing for a fight. He doesn't have the same richly developed internal world that Geto has because he doesn't really think or reflect on those things. When he does give insight to himself and his belief it's almost always himself talking aloud to other people.

Which neatly dovetails into my next topic re: Gojo's tendency to mask his true emotions under a light-hearted facade. I think it's inarguable he does that, Gojo was acting happy-go-lucky in front of his students about five minutes after killing Geto. Geto commented in the beach scene in Okinawa that Gojo goofing around on the beach was his way of being considerate to Amanai, and that while pretending to be carefree he'd been exhausting himself keeping the limiitless active for days not even sleeping. Gojo even downplays the burden of that in front of Geto, the one person he allows himself to be vulernable with.

However, I don't think Gojo's tendency to mask his true emotions is because he's crying on the inside during his fight with Megumi and at some point he's going to have an emotional breakdown over it. That interpretation I think comes from the fandom's tendency to woobify Gojo because they want to make him a more relatable and easy to understand character when Gojo is supposed to be alienating and off-putting.

He's an exploration of what being the strongest would due to a person's mind, and how much that would alienate a person from the people around him. Gojo's defined by his inability to relate to others, especially the people he finds as weak so it only makes sense he'd process his emotions in a way that's different from most people.

If people learn and grow and change by their interaction with others, then Gojo who's very cursed technique itself makes it so nobody can ever touch him unless he wants them too does not interact with others and therefore does not change.

It's interesting if you look at things from a budhhist perspective, because there are heavy themes of budhism present in the text of JJK itself. Let's say that Gojo attained enlightenment at seventeen. If he's already enlightened then why would he need to grow any more past that point? The ultimate goal of budhism is to escape the cycle of karma entirely, so from that perspective Gojo untethering himself from the world and earthly concerns and other people is his ideal endpoint.

On the other hand Gojo is like a person living in the world - he eats takeout, goes out drinking with his friends, has a job, pays his taxes. He didn't escape life and worldly concerns, because life went on, he's still living in the world and eleven years has passed since the moment he "attained enlightenment."

If he's already enlightened then he shouldn't need to grow, but considering hes still living in the world you need to grow and change with the world and people around you otherwise you're going to be left behind.

From what we've seen in canon Gojo changed a little bit. His ideals changed in the fact he adopted Geto's sense of responsibility and judgement of good and evil. He also witnessed Geto's fall and lost his friendship which is clearly what influences his current beliefs on wanting to protect the childhood of sorcerers, and that there's something rotten about the Jujutsu Society surrounding him.

I don't mean to say that every change in Gojo's life comes from Geto, but rather Gojo's current sense of beliefs are based around what happened to him in his youth. He wants to protect children because his youth was ruined. If Geto never fell and became a curse user would Gojo see anything wrong with the current system worth rebelling over?

Put better in another better meta here.

Still, my point is that... Gojo simply never cared enough about things like ideology. [...] He tried to internalize Geto’s original values of protecting the weak since he could sense some merit to them, finding joy in entertaining Riko and later his students, but he completely missed the reasoning behind those values. This is why he spouted all those things about not saving/reaching Geto (without having attempted it in the first place) and about becoming a teacher to prevent young sorcerers from missing out on their youth (immediately going to indoctrinate young Megumi into their messed up system as a pretext of saving him from the Zenins. [...] The only way he can empathize with them is by remembering what he himself enjoyed in his youth, that being companionship with his bff and his growing power. And when some of them don’t show interest in that (like poor fucking Megumi) Gojo is simply not interested in exploring alternatives.  To him, it’s not a question of ‘why’, it never was.

Gojo is extreemly self-oriented in all the good and bad that entails. Good because it makes him an extremely strong, and self confident individual that allows him to pursue those ideals (and his ideals are still pretty good) bad because he easily loses sight of other people's feelings.

A gojo who truly changed after the fight with Toji would have reached out to Megumi in an attempt to break the cycle that started with the Zen'ins abuse of TOji. A true example of being the bigger man by going out of his way to help the son of a man who in a lot of ways caused permanent damage to his life and the people around him.

However, that's blatantly not what Gojo did. Once again we have Word of God on this.

Gojo hasn't matured past his mindset of seeing people in terms of "strong and weak" and as a natural extension of that he tends to treat the same kids he's trying to help as assets so he's not living up to his desire to be the responsible adult in their lives. Because he's not really an adult. His growth stopped in the fight with Toji.

Gojo's solution to the problem of Jujutsu Society's use of child soldiers and treating children as expendable is... to create stronger child soldiers. I don't think Gojo does this maliciously, it's just he has no self-awareness whatsoever. He is Jujutsu Society's ideal and constantly praised as such and because of that can't see the flaws in his own ideology and actions. That's also the way Gojo was raised, pushed to be the strongest and to build his entire life and self-worth around being the strongest he can be. People who lack self-awareness tend to unsconiously recreate the circumstances under which they were raised because it's familiar to them. Do unto others what was done unto you.

To return to my original topic though Gojo has a tendency to make his true emotions but I don't think it's done because he's secretly crying on the inside.

I think Gojo's complete lack of reaction to Nanami's death was his genuine reaction. He's not putting on a brave face or anything. He probably does care that Nanami died, but this is just how Gojo processes his emotions. I also think there's a couple of times where Gojo is disturbed during the fight against Megumi such as when Sukuna used Megumi as a shield for the limitless, but at the same time he's clearly having the time of his life with this fight.

I don't think he's faking that. He shouldn't really be enjoying this battle because there are simply more important things right now than whether or not Gojo finally gets to have fun in a fight and be challenged against someone who's his equal - but apparently Gojo didn't get that memo.

Gojo is probably masking his emotions to some extent, but there's a difference between text (what is stated) and subtext (what is not stated and instead relies on reader interpretation). Gojo visibly enjoying himself in the fight is direct text. Gojo announces out loud that he has no problem beating up Megumi, the narration tells us that Gojo is feeling deeply satisfied with this fight.

While characters do sometimes hide their feelings and lie, and narrators are sometimes reliable, subtext is still an interpretation and it doesn't trump what is directly stated by the work.

The text has already told us directly that number one Gojo doesn't feel any hesitation to fight Megumi, and number two Gojo's first priority is winning and his second priority is worrying about Megumi.

Anything that contradicts that is fandom interpretation of the text. I don't think Gege is trying to pull a fast one or unreliable narrator trick here. Gege has always been blatantly honest about Gojo's flaws as a character, hence why I constantly cite his responses in interviews.

I think it's Gege's intention here to show us how Gojo's priorities are eschewed. You can make an argument that Gojo has to worry about defeating Sukuna first above everything else because of utiliarian reasons. If he loses here then everyone else dies. He may have to sacrifice Megumi to stop Sukuna from killing anyone else.

However, those utilitarian reasons are in direct opposition to Gojo's ideals. Gojo wants to create a world where children aren't sacrificed for the common good. In Gojo's ideals chidlren shouldn't be sarificed for adults, but rather it's adults who should protect children so they can live out their youths. If Gojo fails to protect Megumi here he's going back on everything he supposedly stands for.

So while you can make an argument pragmatically Gojo has to worry about winning the fight first. Idealistically he should be fighting to save Megumi, not to win against Sukuna. However, he's not doing that. By having him care more about the fight itself then Megumi, it shows that Gojo's pragmatism often is in conflict with his own idealism. Which is something we've always known about his character. He wants to help kids but at the same time he's using them as tools to further his own agenda.

Again a lot of Gojo's flaws arise from his own lack of self-awareness. Gojo does conceal his own emotions a lot, but I don't think he's hiding a crying child inside. Instead it's more like he's so alienated from both the people around him and his own emotions that he can't process them or self reflect.

Gojo is blind in a lot of ways, like it's made clear by Shoko that Gojo's isolation doesn't just come from being the strongest. There are people around him actively trying to connect with him and Gojo just kind of ignores them because he's too caught up in the idea that only someone like Geto who was as strong as he was could ever understand him.

Gojo doesn't show his own emotions or make deep emotional connections with others because he probably doesn't understand those emotions himself. He's not only alienated himself from the people around him, but he's alienated himself from his own feelings to such an extent that even when he does care it's difficult for him to show it.

#jjk meta #metasks #gojo satoru

[freestyle-crocodile-trashpile]

Request:Heye hey, i just dropped once i saw your works nd i had an idea 🤣 can we have Y/n in a bar drinking with all the Cod Men, he got drunk and went wild so he danced and he went up the stage to the pole nd showed hia

z frisky moves for all of the Cod Men to see and react to. 🤣 (Idk y but i just want them all to see how fun and wild y/n gets with tht liquid courage on him 🤣🤣 ) Have a great day and thank you.

[A/n:I find this hilarious honestly, sounds like something I'd do. Thank you for requesting]

Summary: You got alittle too drunk causing you to join thr strippers on the pole

Type:Scenario: 141 + Los Vaqueros + other characters X M!Reader, abit of Alejandro X Rodolfo

Version:Mw2

~

It started off normal, everyone decided to go to the bar. Like usual. Price had gotten Ghost and Gaz to ask around, Soap was one of the first people asked, then you, then König and so on. Zimo and Horangi came, saying their coming for König's "emotional support" just in case. And Horangi usually says that when he is invited somewhere were König was going also. Kleo had denied going to the bar, she was busy with Roze. But Luna was happy to go, along with Gus and Hutch, It'd be nice for those two to catch up. Of course Alejandro and Rodolfo joined and everyone else kinda stayed back doing there own things. You where in a car with Alejandro, Rodolfo, Luna, and Hutch. Luna was in the middle. Between you and Hutch, Rodolfo driving, and Alejandro in the passenger seat.

"So, you guys exited?"

Luna asked, abit nervous, but that was reasonable she was kinda squished between two large men, some say it's a dream.

"Yeah, it's gonna be nice catching up with Gus(I know they have no cannon interaction but for the sake of the story their friends)"

Hutch said, quite pleased he gets to actually talk with Gus again, and not talking about work.

"Ah, I've heard about Gus, and yeah, I guess I'm also exited. Rudy?"

Alejandro looked over at Rodolfo, who smiled at him, he smiled wide. He always looked happy when he looked at Alejandro

"Of course Ale, your gonna be there"

Alejandro looked abit surprised, before quickly looking away, probably embarrassed with the way Rodolfo looked at him, he looked so happy and if you looked close enough you could see hearts in his eyes. Chuckling softly you looked at Luna.

"Actually I'm abit nervous"

You scratched your head nervously, it didn't itch but it was a habit. Luna tilted her head slightly, confused.

"How come?"

You blushed, thinking about all the times you've gotten drunk.

"Ah, I've been told I'm quite...ha let's just same... party animal"

She laughed at your response. Gently patting your knee she nodded her head. You guys where the first ones there, finding a booth for everyone one to sit at, you kinda doubted it would hold all of you. The bartender had came up and asked you guys about drinks, Rodolfo asked for a non alcoholic drink, due to him being the one driving. You ordered some food for the the table, you've been starving all day. When everyone else got there, they all surprisingly fit, just barely. König, Zimo, and Horangi all sat next to each other, since they also came here together. Gus had swapped places with Soap so he could sit next next Hutch, and Soap next to Ghost. Price sat next to gaz, Alejandro and Rodolfo sat next to Hutch and Gus, them two between price and Hutch. With you and Luna between Gaz and König. You weren't paying attention, all your attention was focused on the mozzarella sticks infront of you, along with cheese ragoons, it was a weird combination but you didn't care. Everyone was talking in one big conversation. Laughing about things, talking about recent mission, Soap and Gaz telling everyone how badass they were in their mission together. Eventually it turned to drunk blabbering, besides Rodolfo, Price, and König. You and Soap where face down facing eachother yelling nonsense to one another, making the other laugh.

"YoOu shoould gO dannccee, hehe~"

Soap said, voice abit wonky due to his facing being flat on the table.

"Onnly if you CoomE wiith Mee~"

Your voice was also kinda disoriented due to being face down on the table.Soap sat up nodding his head. Standing up he pushed through the people on his side of the table, you did the same thing. When you can Soap got out of the booth you looked at eachother with wide smiling, before running off. Finding the stage and and Soap stumbled abit but besides that you too walked quite well.

"HeY! MISS!"

You yelled out to one of the dancers. Sliding over she leanding down making sure to get her chest in full display.

"How can I help you boys?"

She asked with a seductive low voice, kinda like a siren.

"Can we dance with You"

Soap asked. Hoping in his drunk mind she'll say yes.

"Of course"

She helped you to up, and Price was horrified. Having watched you two of course to make sure you were safe, and definitely didn't expect you guys to get on the stage. Soap was about to mindless dance but you grabbed his arm and explained something to him.

"Well boys~, the floor is yours"

One of the dancers said, you nodded with some new found drunk confidence. Telling Soap a "fun" dance, you two started. Most of your guys booth were watching, most of them where yelling compliments at you and Soap, Price and König where horrified while Rodolfo found this hilarious he decided to record it just for fun. You and Soap ended up doing a last dance, that involed some, touchy! Moments I should say. Causing the ones at the table who where sober enough to comprehend it shocked. After a moment the dance ended with a kiss, making everyone who wad watching clap. You drunkenly giggled and pulled Soap off the stage, him now being hazy from that kiss. Price almost said fuck it and got the heaviest drink there was.

~

[A/n:I don't know how to write a drunk person, so if that's not how a drunk person talks that's why. I hope you enjoyed]

#cod modern warfare #cod mw2 #cod x male reader #call of duty mw2 #mw2 x male reader #mw2 x reader #mw2 fanfic #cod mw2 x male reader #cod mw2 x reader

[eponastory]

I keep being all up in your inbox, but I just gotta ask you another question about Zutara. So, based on everything we know about the show and the characters, how do you think Aang would react to Zutara if it was canon? Maybe at first we would be jealous and mopey about it, but when he pieces together that Zuko is a good partner because of how much he loves, respects, and helps Katara as an equal, Aang realizes that he treated his friendship with Katara too childishly and THAT'S why Katara wasn't so happy about their kisses on the Black Sun and on Ember Island. Aang realizes that Katara doesn't want him because he was too immature and it was unfair. But Aang swallows the hard pill of reality, and uses self-reflection to grow up and be a better person. Also, what do you think about Aang being with Toph? I've read an analysis that Toph would've been a better partner for Aang because Toph is much more likely to put her foot down at Aang's foolerly, and that Toph doesn't glorify Aang with the rose-tinted lens of him being the Avatar.

This could go a few ways.

But seeing as Aang has selfish tendencies and the writers are idiots when it comes to writing romance, I'm gonna go with Aang being jealous.

Let's pretend that Aang is a real kid for this instance. He is 12. He is going through puberty and has a crush on the first girl he has ever seen (you know because the Air Nomads were sexually segregated and there is a reason for that). It's just... eww. He gives me stalker vibes and then expects Katara just to be with him because he says he loves her. Then on top of all that, her choice to have any relationship is limited to Aang because of a fortune teller. Honestly, it's a horrible thing.

Aangs world view is that everything revolves around him, yet he doesn't want to take responsibility for it. He never does either. I honestly think Katara (if she were a real person) is pressured into 'loving' Aang. The problem is, he's doing the pressuring. I've seen this brought up in countless fics I've read, and we all seem to be on the same page. If they were real people, this relationship would absolutely be on the toxic side. So, yeah, I don't think Aang would let it go if Katara left him for Zuko. He wouldn't be happy because it changes all of his 'plans' for reviving the Air Nomad culture. That's a lot to put on Katara, too.

Now since these are fictional characters, I'd put my money on Bryke causing Aang to go into the Avatar state (which has happened before in one of Aangs childish tantrums) which is not good for anyone. I hate that they characterize him this way because it leaves a really bad taste in my mouth. Like calm the fuck down dude, you're supposed to be following Air Nomad culture... oh wait, you know Jack shit about it because you only learned the basics. Like ffs... the writing is all over the place with that.

But no I don't think fiction Aang would be okay with Katara and Zuko. He'd probably grin and bear it, but inside he's just one step away from Avatar state because Katara was supposed to be his forever girl.

If Aang was truly written to be wise and forgiving, (which he isnt) maybe he would let it go, but no. That's not what we got. He's... a very very flawed character.

#im just gonna say it... the antis can fuck off 😤 #its not my fault that is how bryke wrote him #zutara #anti bryke #asks

[desultory-novice]

what do you think of magolor soul’s true arena desc? makes me think he isn’t truly sorry.

I wanted to save this ask to write something MUCH more comprehensive about this but, um, serious RL stuff (it's positive stuff, no worries. I'm just kinda anxious about it...) popped up during my break so since I'm going to need to duck away for a few days to cool down (and because I'm currently super mega obsessed with True Arena Magolor) I decided to hit this one quickly.

So, in brief, this game has an excellent translation. Forgotten Land quality. I'd say even a little bit above that, since Magolor's writing in the epilogue is so good. (Biased?)

But there is a slight shift of TONE in Magolor Soul's True Arena description, the 2nd phase, where he talks directly to Kirby. (Honestly, this is probably just an issue of spacing. Magolor talks a LOT and you can see this screen is packed with text. Amusingly, spacing was my guess for the loss of a few details from Magolor Soul's pause screen in the original game.)

(Photo nicked from willidleaway)

Here is a quick "alternate" translation from me:

"Kirby, frankly, I found you a pain to deal with. And the way you looked at me with that blank stare even after I betrayed you? It irks me that I keep having to rely on you but... I've had enough. Kirby of the Stars, hurry up and destroy this thing on my head. When you do, I'll come back and... heheheh...I'll tease you plenty!"

The part TumblingPotatoes is referring to is probably the part I translated as "...found you a pain to deal with." The word in question can mean "dislike" as in "We've invited Magolor to dinner tonight!" "Ugh, I really dislike that guy!" but it really just means someone that, for a variety of reasons, you may struggle to deal with.

The fact that Magolor is a consummate liar but Kirby approaches everyone with honesty and openness is a quick and easy answer for why Magolor might feel that way about Kirby. Not to mention, as he says in both versions, Kirby is SO honest they didn't even react with shock or hurt when Magolor betrayed them. It's hard to say WHY Kirby didn't have that kind of emotional reaction, maybe they just knew better? Maybe Kirby figured, "Huh. I guess it's just time to beat the evil out of you like I've done with all my friends to date!"

The reason I prefer the Japanese slightly is because the English had to combine the "...it irks me to rely on you" and "hurry and break this thing on my head" into one line which, while Magolor is meant to be speaking from a place of pride (he doesn't want to admit he needs help. But of course, he really, really, REALLY needs help) it does sort of give him a cocky attitude in English. (The addition of "Ugh" does something similar. It does a wonderful job showing he's having to fight his own nature to admit this.)

But in Japanese, his desperation ("hurry") comes off better. It makes him sound a little bit more sad too (Something about Magolor using "this thing" in Japanese, 「頭のコレ」, even though it's the same phrase in English... but the context behind refusing to identify the Crown always gives me the feeling that at this point in the soul-consuming process, he's too frightened to even say it's name.)

...And this all hits especially hard because he uses the key phrase "Kirby of the Stars." Any time anyone invokes Kirby's "full name" you know things are serious.

His last line, his "threat" to toy with you/tease you is basically just the same Magolor you see in the epilogue. He can "turn over a new leaf" and still be a villainous & mischievous little egg. Saving his life isn't going to give him a personality transplant. It isn't going to mean he doesn't like playing pranks on people - or that he thinks that hitting a bomb with a frying pan isn't one of the multiverse's greatest games and definitely needs a space in his theme park. ^^

Again, he may also be trying to preserve some of his tattered dignity there. The long and short of it is... Magolor is being "tsundere" (I hope I don't need to explain that one...?)

Yes, he cares about Kirby as a friend. (Will he say it? No.) Yes, he feels bad for what he did. (Will he say that? Also no.)

...He CAN'T. It's not the way he communicates. But remember that Magolor has lied to you throughout the whole game. And it's the Liar Magolor that always tells you how "thankful" he is, how "happy" he is you two met. How "wonderful" and "amazing" Kirby is.

The fact that Magolor is willing to say "yeah, you kind of annoyed me" is a sign that Magolor is giving Kirby something he's potentially never given ANYONE before...

The truth.

So yes, this experience HAS changed him for the good and he absolutely, undeniably cares about Kirby.

--

Last Minute Addition:

It's interesting, in light of the very likely sounding theory that Magolor has already been fully consumed by the crown in this fight (his eyes disappear right as he uses "the last" of his ability to fight against the crown to leave you a single apple) and CANNOT be saved that the English text "...then someday..." and "...I MAY get to toy with you..." when the Japanese doesn't have these vagueties on Magolor's behalf. (I was influenced enough by it that even I included the phrase "when I come back" when Magolor just says "I will again...tease you")

Does he know it's already too late? It kind of gives you the feeling that Magolor is either lying to sooth Kirby from what the puffball has to do (kill him) or he's trying to goad Kirby on into finishing this. Really just makes the whole thing more heartbreaking.

#Kirby #Magolor #RtDL DX #rtdl dx spoilers #kirby spoilers #long post #...I wrote something long anyway #Dess Text Post #Speaking of the True Arena... #...my next/last post is fanart... #...yeah....

[pillowspace]

I think about Sunna and Meno farrrrr to much

But I will not stop(thank you for the brain rot)

Currently specifically lone Sunna

Like imagine he meets Eclipse or lone Meno and they just hug and kiss and Eclipse/Meno goes and softly traces the scars they made trying to save his Meno and kisses and it’s so sad and soft

Oh, or what if Meno’s ghost(do gods even have ghosts? Idk nor do I care currently this is the current brain process) does it, traces and kisses the scars in a way to be like it’s okay and yet Sunna doesn’t know, Meno will haunt him and stay with him forever and yet Sunna wouldn’t know, wouldn’t hear the sweet soft whispers or see his love

Maybe some nights Sunna dreams of when he was trying to save Meno and in his sleep scratches at himself and when he wakes up from those dreams he finds himself holding the Moon as it’s the only thing Meno can do to try and stop it and it hurts as Meno can only really watch as Sunna falls apart and is unable to really do anything

Gah so many thoughts in the brain, I just love them so much and think about them and they live rent free in my brain 24/7

Top 10 asks that explode my mind and leave me staring, mouth agape

I've honestly thought about in detail what would happen if Lone Sunna and Eclipse met. Eclipse hesitantly tries to hide it, because his Meno side wants to comfort this Sunna, while his Sunna side... embarrassedly knows this version of himself will not react well. Lone Sunna starts to suspect, and as Eclipse walks to the exit to take his final leave, Lone Sunna throws fire towards the entrance, setting the whole entrance as well as its surroundings tapestries ablaze. Eclipse pauses, surprised but not as surprised as he probably would be. In a shaken, desperate, demanding tone, Sunna knowingly goes "Come. Back"

I'd like to imagine that Sunna tries to keep Eclipse in the same way Eclipse would keep Y/N, but the dynamic is a little too off for that, so Eclipse just stares at Sunna with such sadness like "I am so sorry this ever happened to you. If it means anything, I'm still proud of you." And Sunna just breaks. She babbles about how she doesn't know what to do on her own, or how to feel better. Eclipse sits her down and calmly helps her through it. Sunna expresses distress over what she did to Meno in their final moments, and Eclipse's Meno side tells her what she always needed to hear: I forgive you. You tried your best. Never believe for a second that your Meno hated you in their dying moments. I always loved you

However it's done, I'd like to imagine that Eclipse would try his hardest to offer Sunna the closure she deserves

#ask #celestial sundown au